#she just.

[stunning-mess]

[fjordfolk]

I would say that Troj has spent Christmas learning the concept of stealing, except it's not so much stealing as it is helping herself to things she doesn't realize aren't hers?

Got up one morning, let the dogs into my mother's living room, came in a few minutes later to find Troj snuffling on the couch. The other dogs casually dispersed. Cookie tray on the table noticeably thinner than the night before. I realize belatedly that Troj is CHEWING and confiscate the soggy end of a krumkake, at which point my mother comes in, and we begin to discuss possible culprits, as the only known thief in the household is Sparta and Sparta is, for once, looking fairly innocent.

As we go through our options (Sparty but sneakier than usual, Melis but a bit short to reach the table, not Luna as she wouldn't eat it if you fed it to her, Troj has never taken anyting off my plate ever) Troj looks at me. And my mother. And the cookie tray.

And she very, very slowly she puts her paw on the table.

I tell her NO.TROJA.DOWN. and she backs off. And looks at me. Flicks her ears. And then she slowly. Deliberately. Tries one more time.

[tuxedo-rabbit]

Me: I'm just going to add 1 more mod to my game. I dont want to overdue it!

Me 5 minutes later: I mean, what damage can 10 more script mods REALLY do?

[dykeseinfeld]

i should be allowed to call in sick to work with a case of gideon nav

[puppyeared]

filipina miku!! my mom helped me with her outfit ^_^

[housederiva]

My housemate's cat came into my room while my dictation was on...

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[archi-pelago]

maybe never forgive. but things are different now. so we'll use maybe.

[time-woods]

Accessorize ! Accessorize ! Accessorize !

based off of how my dad got his ears pierced))

[dramatic-dolphin]

when we were studying the bible in literature class (so we have the context necessary for later works that reference the bible), i think we were at the book of jonah, and one of my classmates was studying the text very intently, and then looked up and earnestly said "professor, i don't understand the will of god"

the teacher was just like. well sadly i am a literature teacher and not a priest so i can't help you there. but if it helps, many people throughout history had the same problem.

[swan2swan]

Whoever conceived and animated this moment, I hope they're doing well and thriving. This is S-rank romance stuff here.

[mountainshroom]

If she has no fans call the ambulance cause I am dead

[happyheidi]

𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗍𝗅𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗅 𝗐𝗂𝗌𝗁𝖾𝗌 𝗎 𝖺 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗅𝗒 𝖽𝖺𝗒 ♡

𝗏𝗂𝖺: 𝖾𝗇𝗀𝗅𝖺𝗇𝖽𝗁𝗂𝗅𝗅_𝗓𝗈𝗈

[hamsternamedmarinette]

Italian microaggressions

[churroach]

Full of Desires