#she just has wlw energy

[cha0ticlesbian]

Something deep in me believes that shadowheart is for the girls yk?

[brot-dae]

Oh. OH.

[ketchupwafflez]

recent big brain moment is returning to my childhood invader zim oc and while im rewriting her story i have decided we have moved past the need for the generic zim crush and instead we will be introducing her to tak for the ultimate yuri

[wondervillain]

You just know Jenna Ortega has read wlw fanfiction at some point in her life

[busket]

I understand personal preference and that some people just don't like ships with men, and that's ok! but I'm annoyed at the implication from some fans that labru has less depth as a relationship than farcille or any other wlw ship in dungeon meshi, and the idea that people are only shipping it as a joke, or because they're horny, or because they're misogynistic and don't want to look at female characters, etc etc. I've seen people call it like, "bloodlust obsession that turns to horniness" and it made me realize that the people who don't ship labru don't understand their dynamic at all. labru shippers didn't just pull this out of our asses lol

a lot of the story around kabru involves how he and laios are perfect opposites of eachother. NARRATIVE FOILS, if you will. everywhere kabru thrives (social interaction, charisma, the surface) laios completely fails. and everywhere that laios is most successful (in the dungeon against monsters) kabru keeps getting killed. not only that but their desires are mirrors of each other too: laios grew up bullied by humans and wanted to become a monster, kabru grew up dehumanized by his villagers and then the elves, so he wants to affirm his identity as a human being.

despite how kabru should be repulsed by laios due to his hatred of monsters, he's drawn to him instead. kabru spends the entire story trying to get to laios to talk to him and to get to know him. firstly he knows laios is closest to defeating the dungeon lord and needs to sus out if he's a good person, but he admits that he really wants to be friends with laios too, not just to determine his virtue but to see what value laios sees in monsters. he wants laios to share his interest in people, he wants laios to be interested in him back. kabru never had any true bloodlust or desire to kill laios, he was prepared to go that far if laios wasn't a good person, but once finding out that he has good intentions kabru spends all his energy trying to help laios instead. and when you consider that kabru spent his childhood believing he was half monster because of how he was ostracized in utaya, his curiosity about how laios could possibly love monsters feels so much more personal.

and for laios, he's not used to anyone taking an interest in him. people are constantly telling him he's weird, and the person he believed to be his best friend told him he couldn't stand him. he misses falin so dearly because she thinks he's the coolest man on earth, so meeting someone and being told "I hate monsters but I still want to know YOU" would have an impact on him, I think. in postcanon they become good friends, kabru becomes laios' right hand man to help him with more of the dicey social aspects of being a leader. laios asks him to stay by his side and help him, and kabru says "yeah, that's what I've been doing this whole time"

I wouldn't claim that a romantic relationship between them is CANON, but I wouldn't even say that about farcille either tbh (and I love farcille just as much so don't come for me lol) this isn't a comedy crackship that yaoi fans just made up. laios and kabru are really multi dimensional characters and they're made to reflect eachother in every way, even down to their physical design. so it's not out of nowhere that people ship them

[maevebabyy]

TRICK OR TREAT

daniela avanzini x fem reader

summary - you end up going to the halloween party that your best friend, daniela, has been bugging you about for ages.

tags - fluff, wlw, kissing

disclaimers - mentions of alcohol

a/n - happy halloween! (not proofread but tbh when do i ever 😭🙏)

wc - 2.2k

the halloween hype starts weeks in advance. everywhere you turn, decorations are popping up– ghosts and skeletons in front yards, spider webs in store windows, and the scent of pumpkin spice lurking around every corner.

it’s almost impossible to ignore, and you try your best to, shrugging off invitations and announcements about costumes and parties with a smile and polite “maybe.”

of course, it’s your best friend daniela leading the charge. halloween is her favourite night of the year, and the one time she can pull out all the stops and go unapologetically overboard. she brings it up over and over, dropping hints about “the party of the year” and how it won’t be the same without you. you figure she’s just being daniela– relentlessly enthusiastic, her eyes practically glittering as she launches into details about the great halloween party her friend, lara, is hosting.

in her world, halloween is a sacred night for letting loose and transforming into someone else for a while. she has that bright energy about her that’s infectious, making you feel guilty for not feeling the same way. but every time she gives you that look– the hopeful one, with her head tilted just a little and her bottom lip pushed out in a pout– you have to remind yourself why it’s a “no.”

crowded spaces, loud music, and costumes just don’t have the same thrill for you. and the idea of navigating all that noise and chaos while everyone’s hyped up on alcohol and adrenaline? you’ve decided it’s just not for you.

but daniela doesn’t give up. every day, she’s back with new reasons to convince you. the costumes she’s planning, the outfits she’s narrowed down (several, of course– she still hasn’t decided between being a devil, a vampire, or a fairy). she even shares plans for her makeup, using you as a sounding board as she describes her ideas with absolute passion. you feel a little bad, knowing you’re not going, but she’s daniela, and she can get excited enough for the both of you.

-

finally, halloween night rolls around. the sky has that deep october shade of midnight blue, and the air is crisp and cool, with the faint scent of burning wood drifting in through your apartment window from somewhere down the street. it’s a perfect night for spooky activities, and you’re in the thick of it– on your couch, buried under a pile of blankets with a popcorn bowl by your side, ready to dive into a horror movie marathon.

the illuminated led clock read 8:08 pm as you start the first movie of the scary movie series. just then, your phone lights up, a familiar name popping up on the screen.

dani 👯‍♀️: “you’re really not coming?? 😭”

of course, daniela would do this. you can practically hear her voice as you read it. she’s done this every halloween night for as long as you’ve known her, trying to drag you to whatever halloween party she’s been convincing you to go to. she can never quite understand why you’d want to spend halloween as a homebody.

you sigh, a little amused, but mostly unmoved, typing back a response.

“dani, i love u, but we been over this 😭🙏 parties just aren’t for me

there’s no response, and you assume she's finally given up when a moment later, the door to your apartment swings open, and in comes daniela herself, horns and all, leaning dramatically against the frame.

“you’re really not going to make this easy, huh?” she whines, hands on her hips, glaring playfully.

she’s committed to her devil look– crimson lipstick, black eyeliner sharp enough to slice, and a skin tight red dress that somehow blends daring and classy in a way only the cuban girl can pull off. a pair of red horns peek through her golden curly hair, and a long black cape drapes over her shoulder, trailing behind her like a second skin, her red wings underneath.

you linger on her appearance for a moment longer than you’d like to admit, taking in the costume. you knew she was going as a devil, solidifying her choice a few days prior, but somehow you hadn’t pictured her like this– even more bold and confident, her usual energy amplified to a whole new level.

you’re snapped out of your thoughts however as daniela threw your keys onto your lap.

why did you ever give this girl your spare keys to your apartment?

you laugh, setting the remote aside and picking up your spare keys. “didn’t you get the hint, by, like, the third time i said no?

the latina sighs theatrically, throwing herself dramatically onto the couch next to you. “come onnnn. everyone’s going to be there. plus, it’s halloween, and it only happens once a year! this is basically, like, a holiday for people like me.”

“people who love noise and chaos?”

“yes,” she says, crossing her arms with a pout. “but also people who like to let loose a little. try new things! and… okay, people who are maybe also a little dramatic.” she shoots you look. “it’s fun! besides, i already know you’re going to get bored. i’m trying to save you from missing out on another great halloweekend!”

“highly unlikely,” you retort. “halloweekend is just an excuse for people to get drunk three nights in a row. besides, i’ve got movies, popcorn, and peace and quiet. sounds pretty great to me already.”

she huffs, pretending to be offended. “fine, fine,” she says, standing up in defeat, though she throws a little pout over her shoulder. “but just you wait. you’ll wish you’d listened to me.”

with that, she finally lets herself out, leaving the apartment feeling weirdly quiet in her wake. you settle back on the couch, restarting the first scary movie, convinced that you made the right choice. the lights are dim, the popcorn’s still warm, and the apartment is all yours once more.

but half an hour later, you find yourself scrolling through your phone. your instagram feed flooded with new stories and posts– photos of everyone in costume, videos of the party, and endless photos of the function.

what stood out to you the most though was the photos with daniela in them, her smile bright, her devil horns glinting under the flashing flights. even from a distance, she looks like she’s having the time of her life, and you can practically hear her voice in every photo that captures her laugh.

you’re about to put your phone down when daniela sends another text,

dani 👯‍♀️ : “wish yiu w ere here rn”

daniela was obviously already feeling a little tipsy judging from the way she texted. there’s a pang of something– maybe a little fomo, maybe even the slightest twinge of protectiveness. and then, against all common sense, you find yourself standing up and heading to your closet.

you dig though old clothes, trying to piece together something that could pass as a costume. after looking through a few options, you find it— a white dress, simple but just daring enough to feel like a costume. a quick search through your jewellery box turns up some silver accents, enough to give you a glimmering, almost ethereal look. by the time you’re finished, you’re not exactly sure what you’re going as… maybe an angel? or some kind of celestial spirit? either way, it feels good— different. you barely recognize yourself in the mirror.

taking a deep breath, you grab your phone and text daniela back.

“i guess i could come out for a bit”

her response is instant,

dani 👯‍♀️ : “YESSS abiut time!!!”

-

when you arrive, the party’s already in full swing. music pulses through the air, mingling with laughter and shouts, and lights flash from every corner of the crowded house. the smell of alcohol weighed heavily in the air as you weave your way though the costumes, searching for daniela. you finally spot her in the kitchen, laughing with a group of friends. but the moment she sees you, her laughter halts mid-sentence, and her eyes widen.

she makes her way over to you— stumbling a little bit along the way—, her gaze traveling over your outfit with something between surprise and… something else, something you can’t quite place. she raises an eyebrow, giving you a slow once-over.

“weeellll, look who-” she hiccups, giggling a little, “look who finally got in the spirit of halloween.”

you shake your head softly, “how much have you had to drink, dani?”

the cuban girl giggles at the question, “don’t worry, just enough is all!” she clears her throat, focusing her eyes, “but seriously! you’re actually here! am i that drunk?”

you give a little shrug, accompanied with an easy-going smile, trying to hide how nervous you feel under her intense gaze. “nope, i’m very much here. and, it was a last minute decision.”

her lips curve into a smirk, but there’s a softness in her expression, almost like she’s seeing you again for the first time. “last minute, huh?” she shakes her head with a chuckle, then sways lightly on her feet. “and here i thought angels were supposed to be innocent. you look… incredible.”

you feel your cheeks heat up. “i didn’t think anyone would actually notice that i’m an angel.”

“oh, trust me,” she says, glancing around the room, “people noticed.” her eyes flick back to you, a glint of mischief in them. “which is exactly why i’m going to cover you up before anyone else gets any ideas.”

before you can protest, she slips off her cape and drapes it over your shoulders, adjusting it to fit snugly around you. her fingers linger on your shoulders as she pulls you closer, her touch warm and steady. “can’t have people thinking they can mess with my angel,” she murmurs, her voice low and almost possessive.

you glance up at her, caught off guard by the sudden closeness, her face inches from yours. the party fades into the background, the music and noise replaced by the steady sound of her breath, the faintest hint of her perfume— mixed with the alcohol she’d been drinking— lingering in the air. her eyes lock onto yours, and there’s a spark between you, something unspoken, but undeniably there.

“should we find somewhere less crowded?” she suggests, her hand still resting on your arm, her words slightly slurred. you nod, letting her lead you to a quieter corner outside, where the night air feels cool against your skin.

out here, the stars shine bright, and the noise of the party fades into a distant hum. daniela leans against the wall, her devil horns tilted playfully, and crosses her arms, watching you with a mixture of amusement and something softer.

“you know,” she says, her voice quieter now and a bit more playful, “i wasn’t just trying to get you here for the party. it’s more fun with you around.” she stumbles slightly as she shifts her weight, catching herself with a laugh.

you meet her gaze, feeling your heart race a little faster. “really?”

she laughs, nodding, her cheeks slightly flushed. “yeah. this might sound cheesy, but i just…like having you here.”

for a moment, neither of you speaks. she steps closer, her hand lifting to brush a stray strand of hair behind your ear, fingers grazing your cheek. “i don’t usually get all sentimental on halloween,” she whispers, a hint of vulnerability in her eyes. “but maybe i’ve always wanted an angel by my side.”

you swallow, the words settling between you, heavy and sweet. her hand lingers by your cheek, her gaze flicking down to your lips before meeting your eyes again, as if waiting, hesitating, right on the edge of something. the tension is thick, and you can’t shake the feeling that she’s waiting for you to make the first move.

in a moment of courage, you lean in slightly, your heart pounding as you search her gaze for any sign of what she wants. the air between you is electric, charged with unspoken words. daniela's breath hitches, her eyes sparkling with mischief and something deeper, and in a heartbeat, she closes the distance.

her lips meet yours, soft and warm, igniting a fire that spreads through you. it’s a kiss that feels like everything you’ve been waiting for, a mix of sweetness and urgency. you can taste the faint remnants of her drink, and it only makes you want her more.

as her hands slide to your waist, pulling you closer, you sink into the kiss, feeling her smile against your lips, as if she’s just as surprised by this sudden spark as you are. the kiss deepens, and you lose yourself in the warmth of the moment, the chaos of the party fading into the background.

finally, you pull away, breathless, your foreheads resting against each other as you both smile. “maybe next year, i’ll help you pick out something a little less… dangerous,” she says softly, her breath warm against your skin.

you arch an eyebrow, a teasing smile forming on your lips. “dangerous?”

her laughter dances in the air between you, playful and light. “oh, absolutely. you’re hiding something under those angel wings.”

you chuckle, feeling the warmth spread through you. “well, i guess you’re not the only one who can surprise people.”

her smirk returns, full of mischief and charm. “i make no promises,” she whispers, her voice low, “but i’ll take my angel back inside.”

and as she leads you back to the party, her hand in yours, you can’t help but feel grateful you ended up going to this halloween party after all.

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Diana Rigg (On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, The Assassination Bureau, A Midsummer Night’s Dream)—Though she may be most famous across the pond for her Game of Thrones-era career, here on her native soil she is an icon of the 60s and female empowerment! Arguably best known for slaying as Emma Peel in The Avengers, her biggest pop culture legacy is definitely playing the only woman Bond truly loved - Tracy di Vincenzo - and absolutely stealing the movie (OHMSS) from under George Lazenby’s nose. The Assassination Bureau is also an extremely fun and underrated period adventure film where her boundless energy and wit is better matched by Oliver Reed. She excelled at playing alluring women with a sense of humour and darker complications underneath. Undoubtedly one of England’s most lovable, intelligent, funny, sexy and unforgettable actresses of all time, I entreat you VOTE PRINCESS DI !!

Barbra Streisand (Funny Girl, Hello Dolly)—I love her smile!! I love her nose!! I love her Brooklyn accent!! She's hilarious and gorgeous and real!!! I love her sense of humor! I love her voice!

This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Diana Rigg:

"She lived with a director/partner/boyfriend for eight years in the 60s and told the tabloid press '[I have no desire] to be respectable'"

Barbra Streisand propaganda:

"If you want to know why I’m submitting her, you’ll just have to read her 900 page memoir My Name is Barbra. It’ll explain everything!"

Lovely, smart, funny and a GORGEOUS VOICE

have you seen her? she could sing and dance and i love her so much in funny girl

Her most famous movie line is telling herself “Hello Gorgeous,” what else can I say lol. One of the most famous Hollywood divas of our time, who’s still alive and going strong. All of her outfits in Funny Girl are also soooo pretty. Plus she got to act alongside Omar Sharif, who was in the Vintage Men Poll.

She IS the greatest star! Her voice! Her eyes! She has one of the most stunning profiles I've ever seen. Talent in SPADES! (And honestly, as a wlw it's disingenuous to ignore it - a truly beautiful cleavage)

[k0yaz]

your girlfriend is very pretty.

Pairings: navia x fem!reader

CW: sfw, female reader, reader has rlly bad gay panic, like holy shit she’s actually my gf type stuff, wlw, girls kissing omg??literally one mention of sex and that’s it, desire to punt a little boy like a football, can be considered a crackfic lol??? even though I don’t know exactly what a crackfic is supposed to be, not proofread.

A/N: YESSS NOW WHAT I WANNA WRITE also yes this is based off of that one meme where the kid says “well your gf’s rlly pretty”

Swishes of cascading water filled the air, the pleasant sound circling the atmosphere of Fontaine and fitting the clear blue skies. Your eyes squinted slightly as Navia’s honey blonde hair fluttered into your face, grazing the tip of your nose. Both of your hands were firmly gripping onto each other, the tip of your fingers brushing along her dark gloved hands.

Both of you had just decided to take a walk through the streets of Fontaine, various stands up on the streets catching your eye occasionally, while Navia would just drag your arm and laugh whenever you got stuck looking over at something. Her freehand reached up to clutch the end of the wavering fabric of her hat to keep it down, as it flowed upward from the profoundly warm breeze swaying her clothing and hair.

Navia’s sea blue eyes traced along every corner of Fontaine as she pulled you along, only causing you to let out a sweet laugh in response to each tug of your arm forward. Her sweet smile only made your heart thump in your chest subtly, her grin being near infectious as her energy only made you let out a small laugh of your own and follow her along.

“(Name)? Are you even listening to me-?”

You blinked, only seeing Navia’s casted shadow from the sun behind her, along with her alluring frame face to face with you. Bringing your palm to your lips, you furrowed your brows from embarrassment and shook your head, a sheepish look crossing your features. Navia only responded with a small huff, which quickly progressed into a soft laugh from your beautiful girlfriend.

“I said that I’m going to go pick up a pastry for us. Any preferences?” She asked, raising an eyebrow at you. You smiled and shook your head, keeping yourself composed. “Nah, I trust your taste, Navia.” You joked, earning an amused chuckle from your girlfriend as she nudged your shoulder lightly before turning her back to head into the shop to pick something up for the two of you.

For a moment, you just stood there awkwardly, face slightly flushed as she left you by yourself. As everyone around you kept moving, your brain was in absolute scrambles when you thought about Navia. Was this a dream? You were really dating this woman? On top of that she treats you like a radiant goddess? Are you in reality- hello?

Your mind detached itself from reality at this moment, darting to your own unwavering thoughts spinning in your brain. She would always comfort you when you needed it, make sure you were okay, and check up on you frequently. Your eyes would relax and your shoulders would droop as you leaned into her touch grazing your cheek. Her face would look absolutely enchanting under any dim golden lighting, her eyes like a deep pool of water that surrounded Fontaine as you gazed into them.

The way you would flutter your eyes shut and tilt your hand into her cheek whenever the words “I love you” fell from her pink, glossy lips. The way you would quietly whisper it back while your gaze was locked onto hers with a deep longing, her touch bringing an almost immediate comfort to your senses no matter the situation. And let’s not forget when her name would spill out of you repeatedly like a prayer whenever she was bare and towering over you, flushed skin stuck to yours as her soft lips found their way onto your chest..

You immediately paused, eyes widening as you cleared your throat to yourself to compose your thoughts when you realized what you were thinking about. At that exact moment, Navia stepped out of the store holding two paper boxes in one hand as she found her way back to your side.

“What’d you get?”

“I’ll keep that a surprise until we get home.” She responded, still holding both boxes in one hand as she used her free hand to lace between yours. Letting out a mellow sigh, you only smiled, tightening your fingers between hers. “Well, I do trust you, Navia. You never disappoint after all.”

Before you two could begin to walk, a small tug on the cloth of your shirt made you halt in your tracks for a moment, head spinning around abruptly to see nobody behind you. Your face wrinkled up in confusion, before you felt the pull again, and looked down. Looking up at you was a young boy, probably aged around eight or nine. His eyes darted between you and Navia, gaze seemingly innocent as he tilted his head back to meet your face. You raised an eyebrow, confusion etched on your face as to why this kid would randomly stop you. You certainly weren’t his mother or anything. “Can I..help you?”

He fidgeted with his hands slightly, palms clasped together as he played around with his fingers and looked down periodically. It took a moment before he finally opened his mouth slowly to reply to your upfront question.

“Uhm…who’s that lady with you…?”

He mumbled shyly, now playing around with the hem of his shirt. You paused, holding back a snort of laughter at the kid’s random and simple question. Yet, you held yourself back for the sake of not embarrassing him, and leaned down.

“Ah. That’s my girlfriend, little man.”

“Your girlfriend is very pretty…”

Say what-?

You knew better. He was just a kid and he was just giving her a compliment. You were an adult, there was no need to get jealous over a little kid. Letting out an awkward chuckle, you looked over to the side uncomfortably, trying to not let your facial expression slip in any way to reveal anything. It was just an innocent compliment from a little boy.

“Aha..yeah she is! She’s gorgeous and very sweet! I’m lucky to be with someone like her-“

“Can I marry her?”

His cut off made your face immediately contort with a strong distaste, stirring up a defensive apprehension right away. You wanted to squat down to his level and flick his forehead, along with spitting an annoyed ‘now listen here you little shit-‘ to him. Upon seeing your irked expression, Navia sighed, placing a hand onto your shoulder as she pushed you back so she could kneel before the boy.

“Sorry to crush your hopes, but I’m already going to marry this gorgeous woman over here. But you’ll find someone, I promise.”

The kid’s expression grew dejected, yet he nodded in understanding as Navia gestured him to go about his day. Your eyebrows raised in surprise and sucking in a breath between your teeth bashfully. Navia’s shoulder brushed against yours as she rose to her full height, her appearance still rested and gentle. The boy kicked away to leave you two alone, disappearing off into the distance to mind his own business. A sudden whimper left you as your cheek was pinched between Navia’s slender fingers, eyes screwed shut and letting out a string of repeated “ow’s.”

“And you, sweetheart. He’s just a child. No need to get all defensive over me from some boy who isn’t even in the double digits!” she scolded, causing you to nod frantically as your head was pulled off to the side. “Yes! I get it! Just let go!”

Navia parted her fingers quickly, releasing your cheek with a proud expression on her face, while you just stood there, palm massaging the blistered skin of your cheek and flexing your jaw. She only smiled and took your hand once more, leaning over to press her smooth lips against your cheek. The contact only served to fluster you more, eyes squeezing shut and lips pursed as you tried to stay calm and collected from the beautiful woman—who was in fact your girlfriend—kissing your cheek.

“We’ll head home to eat these pastries, and I’m all yours for the rest of the day, alright sweetheart?”

A/N: I’m aware there’s other requests (I just finished my inbox reqs but idk how yall got here this fast) but I’m working on what I want for sometimes so I’ll get to my inbox when I feel like it 🕯️

[prickly-paprikash]

Whoever you ship Mizu with, it is ultimately gay as fuck.

Mizu and Akemi? That's just two angry wlw's haunted by the image of one another who have been pushed into different but mirroring paths that will one day intertwine, and their anger and regret will balloon into a terrifying clash. Violent? Yes. Passionate? Extremely. Sexual Tension? Nuclear-level.

Mizu and Taigen? Mizu didn't really mind the other acts of sex in Madame Kaji's brothel until she got to the dudes fuckin, and her immediate thought was how close Taigen and his lips were during their tumble in their duel. It's very clear Mizu sees her relationship with Taigen as homoerotic, and has shown some interest in it. That's just trans masc x bottom bi, baby.

Mizu, Taigen and Akemi?

So. Fucking. G A Y.

There ain't no cis-het reading of Blue Eye Samurai, bucko. This shit's the purest crystal queer in the market. It ain't cloudy. It ain't distilled.

This show is raw, uncut Mizumphetamine. Mizu is the chemicals injected into the water that's making the freaking fags frogs gay.

Mizu's the baddest bitch around. Be in awe of this undying fuck's energy. She is 2023's top bitch magnet. She doesn't get bitches. She pins them down, strikes the fear of her in them, and wields a fucking sword made to slaughter the heavens.

[punksocks]

Astro Observations No.19

(Thank you so much for the support everyone! I appreciate you following my blog c:)

*Just based on my experiences, only take what resonates

-Starting a new relationship during Venus in retrograde is guaranteed to teach you a karmic lesson with a probably karmic partner (I’ll never forget mine oml)

-Under developed Venus ruled men/ Men with heavy Venus placements are a nightmare. Underdeveloped ones choose to be chaotic with charming energy. Like f-boys or like vampires. They just tend to run through people and use them for validation. Sometimes they grow out of it and become better. A lot of times they just get too big of an ego and get narcissistic in this energy and are just destructive.

-The house your Juno is in could be an indicator of your soulmate’s placements (ex if your Juno is in Aries your partner may have Juno in first. Or if your Juno is in 5th they may have Leo in Juno. If your Juno is in Libra they may have Juno in 7th.)

-Libra/Taurus/Venus in 1st house people can get away with such criminal behavior lol, people will never blame them or they will always want to see the best in their actions. I feel like Leo Asc/Sun in 1st can get through a lot of actions with confidence but they usually do face blow back at some point if they’re behaving badly.

-Neptune 1st house/Pisces rising will have a more erratic sort of filter applied to them. Like usually they’ll get like subconsciously softened and idealized by others but they’ll also get certain traits like air head or spacey applied to them. Basically getting elevated and infantilized the most imo.

-Having North Node in Pisces can be a murky karmic placement. I’ve found that North Node in Pisces can manifest as anything from spiritual devotion and detachment from others to lifelong addiction and reliance on substances, any path that has heavy Neptunian themes which feels like a roulette since Neptune rules over confusion.

-Mars MC can be a sex symbol placement for any gender, someone known for their body or having a striking presence.

-Venus MC is definitely someone that’s known for being a charmer at best and a player at worst. Still very good with people either way.

-MC in Scorpio can manifest as someone that’s seen as constantly going through transformations and tribulations in their career and public life. Alchemy or catastrophe, always at an extreme.

-Venus can show where you are the most appealing to others (Venus in 1st would be seen as charming and probably having a very pretty face, Venus in 2nd would been seen as luxurious and having many resources and having a pretty body, Venus in 3rd would be a very charming speaker and likely have a voice that draws in others, etc I can make a whole post on this if anyone’s curious)

-Aquarius Venus/Venus in 11th fall in love with someone unconventional, or someone they met in an unconventional way (online dating, penpal programs, stuff like that)

-I find all fixed moons have really intense emotions, they just express it in different ways (yo if you’ve ever just disagreed with an Aquarius moon you know they can get touchy if you’re not on the same page with their logic)

-Aquarius is not a great way to figure out if someone is queer imo. The connotation of being lgbtqia+ being essentially strange/out of the norm is … something already but plenty of queer icons that live with their careers/lives revolving around the queer community have no Aquarius in their charts at all (I was looking at Elvira’s chart after this Matt Baume video on YouTube about how she’s a queer icon that was elevated by the queer community and was a closeted lesbian and she turned out not to have a single Aquarius placement, a Virgo stellium and Leo placements stood out the most to me). Sappho is the asteroid to check out for wlw I’m not sure for mlm but I’m sure Greek mythology has given us a great asteroid for the mascs

-Squares to north node can present “delays” with your destiny (more so having to hone aspects of your personality, having certain experiences beforehand, and coming into your destiny later in life, Joe Biden is an interesting example of this lots of squares and harsh aspects to north node and he ran for president like 7 times before he won, even became Vice President before, so interesting)

- (TW scars, harm) Scorpio can show where you have organic scars/birthmarks (Scorpio in 1st birth marks/freckles just appear on my face) where as Pluto can show where you get scars through experiences (I have Pluto in 2nd and I got burned on the lower third of my body when my dad left me in a hot water bath as a baby :/)

[nightlyrequiem]

Love Bite

Perhaps in another life, one where she was still living, you two could've been something. If she had a heart that still beat maybe you wouldn't look at her like she was a monster. 

Masterlist AO3

A/N- I would let Valeria feed from me.

Tags/Warnings: Vampire Valeria, Power Imbalance, Blood, Blood Drinking, WLW, Unrequited Pining, Slightly Sexual Themes

Two, tiny goldfish mindlessly swim around in their tank. Their orange scaled bodies turned vermillion by the low red lights in Valeria's office. The tank isn't small, but it's not large either. You feel bad for the fish. It must be maddening to only be allowed to swim within such a limited perimeter for the rest of your short, short life. You shiver and pull your blanket tighter around your shoulders. Not that it does much good. This coldness is inside of you is like a disease. Thin sheets of ice covering your delicate, mortal organs. Your heart works overtime to try and supply you with the proper amount of blood but it just can't keep up the demand.

You needed money. The only jobs available to someone of your skillset didn't pay enough. Not even the cheapest apartment was cheap enough. There was one job that paid very well. Ever since Vampirism started making it's rounds within the human population, those infected were afflicted with heightened strength, stamina, and cravings. The newly infected quickly adapted to their new lives and decided they were superior to the uninfected. The Dark Days, is what they're called. Thirty years before you were even conceived Vampires had waged war on Humans. Trapping and slaughtering them left and right. The Rebellion were a large group of humans who didn't roll over and die. They bit back, and hard enough to earn the begrudging respect of the Vampires.

Negations were hashed out and governments were formed. Parliments and parties of Humans and Afflicted (the technical term both medically and politically.) to protect the rights of both groups. Although the Vampires remain at the head of the seat, metaphorically speaking. While it is illegal for Vampires to go out and hunt and kill free standing people, they still reap the most benefits of the new barbaric system. Criminals who receive the death sentence are given to vampiric guards to satiate their hunger. The afflicted can get by on animal blood, now stored beside the milk in most grocery stores but human blood is just better. Thus, the Feeder Program was born. Humans who need more money - or just find the idea of being indentured to a stronger, crueler being erotic - can sign up to be paired with a Vampire. A living, breathing blood bag, essentially.

Only the wealthy can afford a Feeder. You suspect the Vampiric government has increased the prices on everything from rent to food to force more people into the program. The allusion of choice. You used to judge the people who participated. Why would you willingly throw yourself at the mercy of an unmerciful creature? You told yourself you'd work hard so you'd never resort to that. Unfortunately, that's not how the real-world works. You were speeding down the highway to homelessness and without a home you're as good as dead here. The government spends all its energy and money on the afflicted that there aren't even any homeless shelters. Leaving the homeless to battle with both the elements and blood thirsty creatures of the night.

The door opens, startling you awake. You hadn't even realised you were drifting off. Valeria strides in. She joins you on the couch, her harsh expression softening as she meets your gaze. Her eyes are a normal shade of brown, her ears aren't pointy, the only giveaway to her different biology are her fangs. Which aren't visible unless she's smiling or laughing. Valeria pulls you into her lap and turns you around to straddle her. Having your back to the room makes your skin crawl. She nuzzles her face down your jaw, resting it in the crook of your neck. Valeria is one of the few vampires that will employ humans. Species based discrimination also isn't allowed but the Afflicted have found a way around that. Most of Valeria's grunts are human though. It should comfort you, but the disgusted looks they throw your way when they think you can't see just makes you feel like you're less than human.

Valeria breathes in your scent. You imagine she can hear the fragile beating of your heart. Smell the blood currently running through your veins. 

"I'm hungry." She murmurs. You hate being fed from. That should be obvious but there are people out there who get off on it. There is a certain point during the feeding that does feel pleasant, but it has never turned you on. 

"You fed yesterday." You reply quietly. She's been feeding from you more and more. From the recommended monthly to unhealthy weekly feedings.

"And I want to feed again." Valeria replies. Gently grabbing the side of your face to tilt your head, baring your throat to her predatory gaze. Valeria noses along your neck, searching for the best vein to pierce.

Your face scrunches with apprehension as you wait for that painful little pinch. Valeria sniffs along your cold skin before pausing. She takes another inhale before slowly sinking her teeth into you. You hiss at the pinch and wave of warmth that passes through you. You can feel the blood leaking from the puncture holes into her mouth and the sensation makes you feel ill. Or maybe it's losing so much blood that's making you feel ill. Valeria cradles you to her body while she feeds. Rubbing her hand across your back in an attempt to comfort you. You lean against her for support. Her hand wanders lower, fingers skimming over your clothed tailbone.

The red light is giving you a headache. You close your eyes, but the lack of visual stimuli just accentuates the pain. There's an uncomfortable heat inside of you. Pulsating in waves and slickening your skin in sweat. This doesn't seem to bother Valeria though, who greedily laps up your life force. The other side of your neck is littered in bruised bites. Overlapping and scarring after not being given any time to heal. The heat dies down and the blissful tingling feeling is beginning to take hold. Your body relaxes. Just as it starts to feel good Valeria unlatches from your neck, a bead of blood runs down your neck and chest.

Valeria smooths her long fingers over the stray hairs at the back of your neck in an affectionate gesture.

"Good girl." She murmurs. Not mockingly but as genuine praise. Valeria is aware of the stress put on your body from being fed on. Not that it stops her from doing it. The momentary high wears of and you're slammed by exhaustion. Every limb weighing twelve tons. You have no choice but to lay your head on her shoulder as your eyes droop. You don't see the smile gracing Valeria's usually stern features.

The feel of your body against hers is the highlight of her day. Your breasts pressed against hers, your soft breath in her hair while she feeds. You taste warm and tender and Valeria wonders if you're warm and tender anywhere else. She can feel you trembling slightly. Can picture that little furrow in your brow. The imagery will serve to fuel some late-night fantasies in the privacy of her bedroom. You're the star in every single one. Valeria can hazard a decent guess as to what you'd sound like moaning and breathless, but the lack of confirmation leaves her frustrated. The fact that you'd never give her a chance just leaves her sad.

She continues to stroke you gently like she would a pet. Her nails gently catching on your scalp.

"I wish you did this willingly." She says quietly. The words drag you from sleep.

"What?" You ask, voice slightly slurring.

"I wish you were here willingly, in my lap, in my life." Valeria clarifies. The light bleeds into her sclera, making her look every bit of the monster she is.

"...I am." You reply, confused. You made the conscious decision to sign up for the Feeders Program. You are a legal volunteer. Valeria silently considers your words.

"No, I mean without the money." She sighs. "I want you to want to be here."

Your eyes droop again. You're so tired and cold.

"I'm tired." You mutter. Ignoring her words. They make you a little angry. It feels entitled, to want you to be here, to want you to enjoy being fed off of.

"I know." Valeria says after a few seconds. Voice hardening slightly. She's feeling the rejection. She had attempted to be real with you. She let you catch a glimpse of her dead, shriveled heart and you stabbed a stake through it. Valeria carefully adjusts you so she can lay down with you. Despite your rejection she still seeks your companionship.

Perhaps in another life, one where she was still living, you two could've been something. If she had a heart that still beat maybe you wouldn't look at her like she was a monster. Valeria gets a little burst of satisfaction when you wriggle up against her. she can tell by your breathing and the slowing of your heart that you're asleep. Valeria never realised how fragile the human body was until she turned. You're like a little bird. Hollow bones and delicate limbs. If she's not careful she'd shatter your ribs, snap your neck. She wants to clip your wings to make you stay.

She buries her face into your hair. Inhaling lungfuls of you. For a fleeting second, she thinks she'd sacrifice immortality for you. Briefly considering offering you enough money to never need to come back again - to open your cage door - but she fears if she did, you'd never return to her. Valeria is a monster. Even before she turned, she was a monster. She will never do what's best for you. Feeding from you has weakened you and made you sick, but it has brought Valeria closer to you. She knows she should, but Valeria is selfish. If she has to slowly kill you to keep you then so be it. She presses a loving kiss to your cool temple and closes her eyes. Finding tranquility in the slow beating of your heart.

[just4jinx]

echoes of rain and love.

(wlw fem!reader x jinx, sfw)

tags: pure fluff, established friendship and mutual crush, jinx follows you around without your knowledge, silco is alive, quick mentions of weapons + bombs, shimmer!jinx, arcane!jinx (18+ age)

notes: honestly this is just self-indulgent bc i love jinx so much. it's short n sweet, sorry!

wc: 1.2k

the moon replaced the sun in the sky as the streets became more busy, people flooding in and out of the multiple bars, clubs and brothels around. you thought to call it a day, keeping only one dim lamp on in your bedroom before throwing yourself down on your double bed. it always felt more lonely at night.

with your head gently placed on your pillow, a deep sigh escaped your lips, fluttering your eyes shut after a few moments. you had no real intention of sleeping yet since you were dying to continue a book you started the previous morning, but exhaustion got the better of you, allowing you to slowly doze off on top of the covers.

close to half an hour passed before a loud crash followed by the sound of items falling to the floor woke you up from your sleep. you sat up as fast as you could, heart pounding hard in your chest as you scanned the room. your gaze moved from your books scattered across the floor to jinx standing by the window, but it took you a few seconds to realise she wasn't on the outside of it.

"look, don't be mad.." jinx began, her voice almost as low as a whisper, holding up her hands in defence while a grin tugged at the corners of her lips. "i just wanted some company. sevika's out working, and i was lonely."

you exhaled as you shook your head in disbelief, begging your heart rate to decrease as soon as possible.

"i'm flattered i'm your second option." you couldn't help but smile. this wasn't the first time your friend broke into your apartment just to see you, you just wished she would let you know beforehand and enter like anyone else would, through the front door.

you ran your slender fingers through your hair, watching closely as jinx tiptoed around the belongings she knocked over on her way in, approaching your bed with a slight pout.

"aw, come on. you know you're my first, really." her tone was playful but it was clear she meant every word. you're constantly shocked at how she can have so much energy quite literally twenty four hours of the day. jinx plopped herself on your bed, causing you both to bounce a little, eliciting a tired groan from you.

"sooo, whatcha been up to?" jinx sat crossed legged opposite you, her attention entirely on you and your answer. you had to take a few moments to think, not that you did much in the day.

"work." you rolled your eyes while tucking some strands of hair behind both ears, soon noticing the way your lamp flickered to your side. "it feels like that's all i do lately. i'm exhausted."

jinx tilted her head to one side in curiosity and you saw her pick at her own nail polish, leaving every single nail chipped. she can never stay still, no matter what.

"so why don't you quit?" jinx's question caused you to lightly laugh, assuming it was unworthy of an answer. silco has covered everything for jinx since the day he took her into his care. money hasn't been a problem for her for a while now and she currently has a guaranteed place to live. she's not entitled or even ungrateful by any means, she just has no reason to handle currency anymore.

after pushing yourself back up against the headboard of the bed, you trailed your eyes back up to jinx's face, noticing and loving the way her pink eyes shimmered in the dark room. her braids laid neatly across her lap; you couldn't help but wonder what she would look like with her hair completely down. you imagined yourself running a brush or even your own fingers through her hair, listening to jinx hum her favourite song.

"you still making those little chompers?" you asked curiously, jinx's face instantly lighting up.

"you bet! the one i'm currently working on is gonna be even bigger and better than the last! i'm thinking of testing it on some pesky enforcers once it's done." her excitement plastered a smile onto your face, giggling at her enthusiasm. sometimes you wished she would invite you to her weapon testings, but you knew she didn't purely for your own safety. hurting you in any way would absolutely destroy her.

"then, you'll have to let me know how it goes. just maybe not at one in the morning, okay?" truth is, deep down you wouldn't get angry at her even if she came to you at five.

your friend leaned forward to mess up your hair, chuckling to herself soon after. "i wouldn't count on it." her gaze quickly landed on your window due to the raindrops gliding down the glass, the sound of thunder indicating a storm was quickly approaching.

the weather was enough to make you rush out of bed and head for your wardrobe, taking ahold of some comfy pyjama shorts alongside a black oversized t-shirt, throwing them onto jinx's lap.

"you're not going out in that. i know what you're thinking." you frowned as you spoke to her, your voice full of concern and care. the other girl parted her lips to protest but you cut her off instantly. "you can stay here tonight, if you'd like."

jinx glanced down at your clothes, suddenly in her own world while she ran her fingers across the soft materials. eventually she nodded, unexpectedly giving in with a grin.

"more time with you? don't have to tell me twice." her sweet giggles filled the room, feeling your own heart swell with adoration. you turned your back to her, letting her change into your clothes in peace.

the rain continued to hammer down outside, wind howling too. once jinx stated she was done, you turned on your heel to face her, deciding to fold her clothes up for her before gesturing towards your empty bed. you thought it would take a miracle for her to settle down considering her hyper nature, but to your surprise she slid under the covers and let out a soft sigh. you've never seen her so peaceful or still before, and you weren't sure you'd ever see her this way again.

you followed suit, scooting in bed beside her and pulling the duvet further up to reach your shoulders in an attempt to warm yourself up.

without any warning jinx rolled from her back onto her side to face you, your eyes widening with surprise when you noticed her face was merely centimetres away from yours. blood rose slightly in your cheeks, unable to find any words to speak.

jinx's pink eyes remained glued to yours, and her sweet smile never faded. something about this moment was just so beautiful and you felt like there was nothing you wouldn't do to freeze time. the room was quiet, except for the distant thunder rolling in waves. you took your hand and pushed some strands of hair out of jinx’s face, your touch slow and soothing, as if trying to match the rhythm of your deepening breaths.

the soft crackle of lightning illuminated the room for a brief second, casting fleeting shadows over both of your faces. you leaned in, pressing a tender kiss to jinx’s nose, then another to her forehead, your lips lingering just for a moment. a bigger smile curled on the other girls lips, her eyes growing heavy with sleep. you both nestled closer, your legs tangling beneath the covers, comforted by each other's presence. eventually, your eyes drifted shut, and you surrendered to sleep, wondering if jinx will still be beside you in the morning.

[tightjeansjavi]

The Rite of Movement | drabble

“Teacher Tommy”

written deliciously by @tightjeansjavi & @itsokbbygrl 💗🤭 LJ lost her smut v-card last night, and it calls for a celebration!

~word count: 7.0k~ (we…yeah 🥵)

Summary: Tommy teaches you how to properly eat pussy

Pairing | pornstar!tommy miller x f!readers (two unnamed female characters written in 3rd POV)

Warnings: NSFW, smut, amateur porn film, one mention of degrading language (purity culture) soft!dom Tommy, threesome, mff/wlw, oral (f receiving), pussy worship, unprotected piv, bush love, consent, sex positive environment, brief mention of Tommy’s sexuality (and a sprinkle of Joel’s) dirty talk, teasing, one mention of hair (unspecified length/no details) no other physical description of the readers, unspecified age gap (legal) +18 minors dni! (Let me know if I missed anything!)

series masterlist

Unlike his brother Joel, who meticulously crafts his films and is stubborn as an ox, Tommy’s signature filming style revolves around spontaneity—spur of the moment changes to scripts and impromptu dialogue, creating a care-free and very, very fun set environment where his actors feel empowered to follow their instincts. Tommy isn’t too keen on having the perfect mood lighting or props to add to the ambiance. He likes amateur-style, low quality camera shots and iPhone POV’s from his partners. While Joel is truly making adult-film art, Tommy unabashedly loves making porn.

And Tommy’s girls are first and foremost, sexy. That’s not at all to do with their looks, although if you asked him, they’re all 10 out of 10 knockouts in their unique ways. No, to Tommy it’s all about confidence. A woman who knows what she wants and goes for it, no care for the names society might call her. Slut. Whore. Harlot. Jezebel. There is nothing in the world sexier than a sexually liberated woman, and Tommy has made it his literal job to show the world that.

Tommy checks the time on his phone’s lock screen and heads over to the studio. He’s scheduled to supervise and direct a scene between a couple of their female actresses. A younger looking couple, it’ll be listed as a first-time experience–horny best friends who are experimenting with each other for the first time, hopefully catching the budding chemistry between two women who already love each other one way turning into a simmering heat that leads to sexy fun. Tommy recalls some of his early days experimenting himself, that feeling of excitement at trying something new, learning how to make another person’s body sing like he knows his own, and he knows exactly how he’s going to help them bring that energy to set.

One of Tommy’s actresses is fairly experienced in the art of women loving women porn, but the second is a greenie and it’s evident that she’s feeling nervous and self conscious even before the filming begins.

“Hey, Tommy? Maybe instead of you just filming, you show her how to eat pussy? Make it a teaching moment?” His experienced partner suggests as she takes a sip from her water bottle.

Tommy mulls over the idea for a moment. He wasn’t planning on being in the scene today, but if the day called for it, he could jump in; expecting it from time to time with his line of work where he had to be ready for just about anything. “Think you’re onto somethin’ there.” He grins.

He makes his way over to his second partner who is sitting off to the side, aimlessly scrolling on her phone. Tommy notices her slightly trembling fingers and tense shoulders, clearly anxious. Well, that just won’t do.

“Hey doll, y’got a minute?” He asks softly.

She tenses for a second before looking up at him with a practiced pleasant smile. Fuck.

“Yeah, of course! What’s up?” she starts. When Tommy doesn’t speak right away, she sighs and continues, looking back at the phone limply held in her hands, “Look, I understand if you think that I’m maybe not the right fit for this scene. I’ve never—”

He interjects with a reassuring smile. “Hey, none of that, alright? I’m not kickin’ ya offset if that’s what you’re thinking.” He winks to ease her nerves. “Was actually gonna suggest that we make a change, put me in the scene with ya. Y’know, showin’ you the ropes on how to properly eat pussy. How’s that sound, doll?”

She looks at him as if he has suddenly sprouted five heads and her lips part in shock. “Wait, you want to like..teach me? Holy—I mean, I’m good with it if you both are?”

“Course, doll. I’ll teach ya, and then by the end of it, you’ll be a pussy eatin’ pro!” He laughs. “It was actually her idea to have me teach you. We both know you’re a greenie, and we want you to be comfortable, okay?”

“Well, thank you. I appreciate it. I honestly was dreading coming in for this today when you told me what the premise of the scene would be.” She visibly relaxes and then barks a laugh after a second, hand flying up to cover her mouth. Amused, Tommy prompts her to share her thoughts. “What if we titled it “Teacher Tommy?” she suggests with a small grin.

“Well, if that’s the case,” he leaned in close, “class is in session.”

With everyone on the same page, Tommy double checks to make sure everything is ready to begin filming. He sets the lower quality digital camcorder he thrifted from a local camera shop up on the small table stationed next to the middle of the bed and turns on the attached light, bathing the three of them in a soft white glow that barely extends to the other side of the bed. Low quality resolution is a favorite stylistic choice of Tommy’s, loving the way it adds to the feeling of realism and spontaneity in his films, as if none of this was planned–they just pulled out the camera in the heat of the moment, wanting to cement the memory in history.

He moves to the far corner of the room where he has his phone sitting on an armchair next to a small speaker. He picks it up and opens his Spotify app, turning towards his partners.

“Hey girls, what sounds good? What’s the vibe?”

“Can I see your phone?” his scene partner asks.

“Yeah, baby, of course. Here you go,” he hands her the unlocked phone. She types for a minute and scrolls, finding what she was looking for and hands the phone back to Tommy. He gives the playlist a quick preview. “This will work,” he smirks.

He puts the phone back in its previous place and turns on the speaker, making sure it’s correctly linked to the input of the separate audio recording device so he can mute this particular track while editing the video, and presses play. He learned the hard way that not all background music is equal after they received a cease and desist letter from Universal Music Group for copyright infringement on one of their first videos produced at Miller-Co. Joel was less than pleased about that one, giving Tommy a tongue lashing about professionalism and an angry, “This is why we plan ahead, Tommy!” Since then he’s learned how to create a vibe in the studio conducive to generating the right feelings and reactions in his scene partners while simultaneously protecting their company’s assets. Tommy Miller is nothing if not a practiced multitasker.

“Everyone still ready to go?” Tommy checks in one final time, making sure he has enthusiastic “yeses” from his partners before he starts the camcorder and sits on the bed, starting the scene.

Tommy sits on the bed, the girls following the loose script they’d prepared. They giggle, one of them reaching over and grabbing the hem of Tommy’s cotton t-shirt, looking into his eyes and waiting for his nod before tugging it up over his head, Tommy raising his arms to assist with its removal. The light catches the peaks and valleys of his obliques as he moves. He leans forward, smiling, and reaches out a hand to cup her face and pull her into him for a heated kiss. He makes sure to angle her face with the hand on her jaw so the camera catches the way their tongues dance together while he uses his other hand to move to the waist of her denim shorts.

“Let’s take these off, sugar. Get you a little more comfy,” he drawls, looking her down and back up, meeting her eyes, then dipping to her spit slick, plush lips. She nods, utters a soft yeah, please in response. His fingers trace along the edge of the waistband until they get to the button, pushing it with his thumb through the hole, using his remaining fingers to pull the tab forward, and then pulls the zip down slowly, letting the tension build.

With the extra space, Tommy reaches inside her shorts, cupping his hand over her clothed sex and pressing up with his palm, giving her some friction. She lets out a soft whine. He smiles, atta girl. She pushes the shorts down her thighs and kicks them off with her feet. Now partially exposed, he spreads her thighs, making sure the camera can see his ministrations as he strokes his fingers over her panties, teasing. Her mouth drops open and head drops down, chin to chest, watching where he touches.

“Feels nice, doesn’t it, baby?” He asks and she nods in response. He tips her chin back up with his unoccupied forefinger and leaves another kiss on her mouth before he turns to their other partner, never stopping the teasing ministrations of his occupied hand.

“C’mere, doll. Lemme see you.” He removes his hand from his first partner’s mound, wet patch visible through her cotton panties where he’s pressed them into her cunt, splitting her lips, showing off the shape of her even through the material, and moves it to the collar of his second partner’s blouse. He attaches his lips to the underside of her jaw and nips, soothing the bite with his lips and tongue while his fingers deftly unbutton her shirt, pushing it gently from her shoulders, bare breasts exposed to the cool air of the room around her. She lets it slip off her arms and tangles her fingers in his thick, dark curls, anchoring him to her. He kisses from the spot along her jawline until he meets her mouth and she’s hungry for it, eating at his mouth with her own. He groans at her forwardness, this is his favorite part, he thinks.

Eventually he pulls back, taking a moment to admire her newly exposed skin. He leans forward, taking nearly the whole of one breast into his big hand, and brings it to his mouth, humming as he suckles at her, lathes his tongue over her peaked nipple. She throws her head back and moans. He allows himself one final deep suck before he pulls off with an audible, “pop.” He kisses up her chest, runs the tip of his tongue over the front of her neck, up and over her chin, over her parted lips, and leaves a gentle kiss on the tip of her nose. The contrast makes her laugh, and the sound sets him and their other partner off in tandem, the sound tinkling through the room, and easing them into the next moment.

He turns and finds their other partner has removed her top while they were occupied, now only clothed in her damp panties and little socks. He shucks his pants and briefs, and the girls share a heated look before moving together. Tommy makes room, allowing them to explore each other for a moment while he reaches down and palms his half hard cock. They finish undressing each other as they kiss, hands roaming over torsos, before the first girl lets one hand drift lower, reaching the wet center of her partner, and she slides her middle finger through the glistening slick, gathering some before bringing it to her mouth, making eye contact and sucking it deep into her mouth, groaning at the tangy flavor that bursts on her tongue.

“Yum,” she says playfully, and they giggle. Tommy joins in, smiling, loving watching them have fun. This is what this is all about, he thinks, cock now fully hard in his grip, thumb gently stroking over his head, smearing the precum there, creating a sticky mess.

He rejoins them. “She taste nice, sweetheart?” He asks, tracing his fingers down her chest, her stomach, watching the muscles in her abdomen twitch and clench at the sensation. He looks up and sees her nodding. He grins back, fingers lightly playing with the soft curls at the top of her sex. “Should we compare?” He presses his fingers down, sliding between her lips, a quiet, “Shit,” leaving his mouth unbidden at the sensation of feeling her once dampness now fully blossomed into wet. He drags two fingers insistently through her, running from her hole to just below her clit and back, building her pleasure slowly. He pulls his fingers back, spreads them, lets the sticky mess of her stretch into clear strings between them, and he whistles lowly at the sight. “Ain’t that pretty,” he says, and then he brings them up to her mouth, resting lightly on her lower lip. “Open up, sugar, give yourself a taste.” She obeys, sucking his fingers into her mouth, winding her tongue around and between them, closing her eyes as she suckles, cleaning him fully before releasing them with a pop. “So, what’s the verdict?”

“Hmm,” she thinks on it playfully, tapping her fingers to her chin in mock deep thought. “I think I taste pretty good. Want a taste?” She asks, turning between both of her bed partners searching for a response.

Tommy, as pre-planned, turns and finds the greener of the two women fidgeting with her fingers in her lap. He chimes in, directing his response at her instead, “I’m up to share if you are?”

She raises her head and meets his eyes, her gaze full of trepidation and excitement in equal measure. Good actress, Tommy thinks. She speaks then, softly replying, “I’ve…um, I’ve never..” and gestures to their partners exposed, glistening cunt.

“You’ve never eaten pussy before, baby?” He asks her gently and she shakes her head, dropping eye contact. He reaches up, pushes his fingers through her hair as a comforting point of contact, strokes over the shell of her ear with his thumb, before resting his palm on the side of her neck. “That’s just fine, sweetheart. You wanna learn?” She perks up at the line, eyes alight with the possibility. She nods shyly and Tommy gives her a real smile then, easing her into the meat of the scene. “Well, just call me, “Teacher,” then, I suppose,” and he chuckles.

Here we go, he thinks. He turns back to his other partner, leaning in and giving her another soft kiss on her mouth, then another, and another, leaning her back onto the bed as he goes. “Now you, just lay here and look pretty. We’re gonna take real good care of you, sugar.” Once she’s laid fully on her back, he sits back on his haunches and reaches forward, grabbing under her thighs and hauling her forward by the hips, pressing her thighs back and exposing the center of her fully to their gazes. “Gorgeous little cunt,” he says, and turns to his new pupil. “Come take a look, babygirl. You ever seen a pussy so pretty?”

She scoots over, planting herself right next to Tommy, leaning into his side and looking at where her partner is on display for her. She speaks up then, “So pretty, wow, she’s so wet.” He isn’t sure she’s even fully aware of what she’s doing or if she’s just as pussy drunk as he’s starting to feel, but she reaches forward then, lets her fingers touch featherlight, exploring the feel of another woman for the first time.

“There you go, baby, give it a feel,” Tommy encourages, and she’s a good student, fingers moving more surely then, scritching lightly through her partner’s soft curls, making her stomach jump, and she smiles at the reaction she created. Growing bolder, she dips a finger lower, gasping softly at what she finds waiting for her.

“Oh my god,” their partner moans.

“Doing so good, sweetheart, keep going,” Tommy says, kissing her shoulder, nipping at it lightly, letting his hand explore her back, fingers trailing over the knobs of her spine, dipping ever so slightly into pock marks scattered here and there, tapping at the constellation of beauty marks and moles he finds. When he comes back around to face the scene in front of him, he’s pleasantly surprised to find her fully exploring now.

“Mmm, that nice, sugar? She makin’ you feel good?” Tommy prompts their receiving partner and she nods surely.

“Yeah, she’s so, mmm god, a natural. You’re sure you’ve never done this before?” she asks.

Pausing her ministrations briefly to chuckle, she looks up from where her gaze was trained on the slick slit where her fingers have been playing, “Nope, first pussy I’ve ever been in. It’s fun, I like it. Think I want a taste,” she responds, turning to look at Tommy.

“Yeah, babygirl? Alright, come here,” Tommy pats the space next to him and lays on his stomach, gesturing for her to do the same. She lays down next to him, kicking her feet up behind her and crossing them at the ankles. Cute, he thinks.

“Sugar, can you do us a favor?” He drags his hands up the backs of her thighs and pushes them towards her chest by the bend of her knees. “Can you hold these for us, please? Gonna be a little busy, need both of my hands,” he explains and winks at her. She groans softly in anticipation at his statement and complies, grabbing behind her own knees and maintaining a hold there, opening herself up to be further devoured.

“Ok, baby, now first thing’s first, every pussy’s a little different, every woman is going to like something a little different, too. But there’s two things for certain–” he leans in and presses his hands to the crease where her thighs meet her cunt, runs his thumbs reverently over her outer lips and spreads her open, “don’t overlook the power of gentleness, and always remember to love the clit.” He punctuates the end of his sentence by using the tip of his nose to rub a tight circle into her nub, inhaling deeply as he goes.

“Holy fucking shit,” she responds, squeezing her thighs tighter in her grip.

The woman next to him squirms, and he wonders if she’s feeling it, too, the phantom drag across her most sensitive spots.

He pulls his face back to move the scene forward, delivering a line they planned earlier. "Hey, sugar, you got your phone with you?” She lifts her head from where it was resting on the bed to nod at him. “Let's get this on video so babygirl here can watch it back later, give her a little coaching if she needs it,” he turns next to him, plants a kiss on his partner’s shoulder, “Or if she’s as much of a natural as I think she’ll be, you’ll both have a nice little souvenir for the wank bank," he ends crudely, almost jokingly, shrugging and chuckling.

She lets go of one of her legs and reaches over, finds her phone where it was resting in the sheets, unlocking it and turning on the camera, the flash illuminating their faces between her thighs, slick from her cunt making Tommy’s nose glisten. She whines at the sight.

“There we go. We makin’ a pretty picture for you, sugar?” Tommy teases.

“Oh, fuck yeah, this is for sure the hottest thing I’ve ever done,” she replies in earnest.

Tommy preens. He uses one arm to push the leg she dropped to pick up the phone back into position. “Alright sugar darlin’, need you to use both hands, hold that camera steady for us,” he instructs. “Now, baby, grab her other leg, yep just like that, push it back, give yourself some room to work. Perfect little student for me, aren’t you?” Access to their pussy re-granted, Tommy gets back to work, missing the way her eyes glaze over at the praise.

“Next lesson–multitasking. Now, when you’re getting fucked real good, right, you’ve got a nice cock inside you, stroking nice and deep, hitting those nice spots and that’s fine, but the ones who know what they’re doing, they do a little extra, don’t they baby?” He looks at his partner next to him, gently stroking the pussy in front of him with his thumb, making sure she stays nice and stimulated while he teaches. He receives an animated nod in return and continues, “that’s right. If they’re worth their salt in bed, they’re hitting all the good spots, inside and out. This is no different, baby. We’re going to start outside first. Watch me, then you take a turn, ok?” He doesn’t wait for her response before he dives in.

Tommy turns his head ever so slightly to the side, making sure the camcorder can see his tongue when he eventually moves it through her. He uses the hand not holding back her thigh to spread the lips of her cunt open further for him with his forefinger and thumb. He leans down all the way, leaving a kiss to the whole of her, before his tongue flicks out and licks a wide stripe from just above her hole to her pulsing clitoris, tongue contracting and flicking firmer as it passes over the sensitive nub. He earns a moan from her in response and repeats the motion again and again, lapping at her cunt like a cat getting the sweetest cream. He moans at the tangy taste of her, of pussy, the flavor incomparable to anything else he’s ever tasted and he loves this, the carnal delight of sex. He gives a final lap and kisses her clit as a parting gift before passing the reins to his partner.

“Alright, sweetheart, you ready for a turn?” She nods eagerly, pupils blown wide, mouth lush and swollen with arousal. Tommy moves over a little, giving her room to get situated. He removes her hand from the other woman’s thigh, giving her the comfort of having both hands to work with for her first time. Their partner lets her leg fall from where it was being held and instead opens up at her hip, resting it in a frog-like position with her knee on the bed, letting her calf and foot rest on the other woman’s upper back. Good girl, thank you, he thinks, making quick eye contact with her and in silent communication.

Hesitantly, she leans down, doing just what Tommy showed her, spreading pussy lips open with her thumbs and licking gently, first along the plush softness of her inner lips, just tasting, feeling it out. The whine her exploration earns must spur her on, because she dives in with abandon then, gathering her viscous wetness direct from the source and bringing it with her before lathing her tongue over her clit again and again, lapping and swirling, moaning into it, both women losing themselves in the pleasure of the moment, unworried about the sounds emanating from their throats.

“There you go, baby, doing such a good job. Such a quick learner. You like that? You like eating pussy?” His mouth is filthy, egging her on, watching as she whines into it and nods her head. He laughs at that, “Alright, now, come up for air, got more to teach ya.” She pulls away, taking a few labored breaths, mouth shiny, corners turned up into a pleased grin, and he can’t help but to pull her in, share a deep, slick kiss, get his second helping from her tongue.

Tommy resumes his earlier position between their partner’s thighs, giving the one in his grasp a sweet kiss. He turns back to his student and continues his instruction. "Now, if you really wanna make her sing, you gotta multitask, get your fingers in her while your tongue works on the outside. Watch, here,” he looks down at the messy, open cunt in front of him and slides his index finger inside gently, letting a guttural groan leave his throat at the feel of her. She’s hot, soaking wet, and tight. This is going to be so much fun, he thinks to himself. He gives her a few slow pumps, watching her like a hawk, making sure she’s feeling good and relaxed before he pulls his finger out, offering it to his bed neighbor and she opens immediately, welcoming it into her mouth and sucks the now familiar milky slickness clean.

“Mmm, good girl, baby, thanks for cleaning me up. Sugar, you ok to take another?” He checks in.

“Yes, yes, please, more, Tommy,” she responds eagerly.

“Happy to oblige,” he smiles before getting back to work. He slides in his first two fingers together this time, letting her unfurl her muscles and pull him inside, holds steady for a moment, leaving kisses on her thighs, the top of her mound, nosing at her curls. Once he feels her totally relaxed, he starts to withdraw, shallowly at first, before pumping back inside slowly. He steadily adds length to each stroke, until she’s easily taking all of his thick, long fingers without resistance. The sounds reverberating through the room are obscene. Pussy absolutely squelching, moans unabashed as he hits her just right every few strokes, then he adds more.

He drops her leg, letting her open for him like she did for their partner, giving him access to his other hand. He uses his newfound freedom to curve above where his face hovers and pulls back the little flap of skin hooding her sweet clitoris. He leans his face down and points his tongue, pressing firmly, directly onto her fully exposed button for a second before flicking it at a rapid pace up and down, back and forth, all the time never ceasing his movements inside her.

“Tommy, Tommy, fuck I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna–” she nearly shouts, feeling her tense, squeezing his fingers like a vice, before she releases, walls of her cunt pulsating in time with the pounding of her heart, slickness coating down to his palm.

“There you go, sugar. Gorgeous when you fall apart,” he praises. “You ok to keep going, or you need a break?”

She sits up, phone forgotten for a moment, dropping it to her side while she answers, “Give me like 30 seconds. I wanna do that again, with her this time,” she points at their partner who is looking at the scene in front of her with poorly concealed awe on her face, never seeing another woman orgasm up close like this before.

“Think we can do that, sugar. You up for it, babygirl?” He turns to check on his other partner.

“Ye–mmh,” she starts, voice thick, before clearing her throat and trying again. “Yeah, yes, please. I would like that very much.”

“Alright, sweetpea, hop on in here. You get stuck, you wanna stop, you need anything, just say, ok? We got you,” he reassures her with his words, clean hand running over her hair gently and down to cup her cheek.

She situates herself between her partner’s thighs and looks up, offering a shy, “Hi, again,” and giggling. Her partner giggles back and waves a little wave. “I’m just gonna…” she starts, and presses in her first two fingers, knowing the feeling of her own cunt, but finding the feeling of another woman’s entirely new at the same time. She starts a slow and easy rhythm, building her confidence with every new sound she drags out of her partner.

“Want to try adding your mouth?” Tommy encourages. She leans down, hovering right over where she’s most wanted, and looks up and makes direct eye contact with the camera in her partner’s hands before she licks. Her partner throws her head back and groans, something deep and real, almost animalistic. She continues, alternating between a pattern of flicking like Tommy and lapping like before, absolutely devouring the juicy pussy in front of her. The loud squish squish squish she’s drawing from inside her cunt causing her own core to pull tight and hot, the liquid of her slicking her nearly to dripping onto the sheets below.

Tommy watches on absolutely rapt. Cock angry at him for not sinking into the nearest tight, hot, wet hole immediately. He staves off his primal desire, giving it a harsh squeeze at the base, tell it to behave a little while longer, the chastity will be worth the reward they have planned.

“God, baby, sugar, so sexy, look so goddamn gorgeous together, sound so gorgeous together, fuck,” he rambles, knowing he doesn’t have long until he needs to come.

He squeezes the base of his cock once more, taking his lower lip between his teeth and bites down hard as he gets lost in the mix of obscene moans coming from his two partners. It’s like a symphony to his ears, (and his cock). He makes the executive decision to remove himself from the scene momentarily and swipes a bottle of water from a nearby table and twists the cap off in a haste.

The mushroom head of his cock is red, angry and engorged as he downs the entire bottle, a few stray drips of water roll down his chin, neck, and between his pecs.

When he makes his way back to the bed, both women are coming down from their highs, bodies slick with a sheen of sweat coating them like a sultry mist. They’re a mess of giggles and praises when Tommy situates himself once more. He presses a warm kiss to the shoulder blade of his bedside partner, nipping playfully with his teeth.

“How are we feelin’, ladies? Can teacher Tommy getcha anything? Refreshments? Need a breather?” His tone is light and carefree, genuine.

His bedside partner who has her cheek resting against the pelvic bone of the other woman, looks over at him with a newfound confident grin. Her face and lips are covered in slick that glistens on her skin. She makes direct eye contact with him briefly before her eyes slowly drift southwards to his cock. She coyly smiles and peers back upwards to him. “Well, there is one thing you could get for me..” she trails off.

He’s proud, it’s written all over his face and he does his best to contain his genuine smile and craft it into a convincing smirk. But it’s moments like these where he’s reminded just how much he loves his job. The reward of a satisfying orgasm is almost always certain, but to see a woman come out of her shell so naturally? Now, that’s a spectacle that he holds onto dearly.

“What is it that you want me to do for you, doll?”

“Teacher Tommy, can you please fuck me while I eat her pretty pussy?” She asks sweetly, eyes glazed over, pussy drunk undoubtedly, but the way she’s eyeing his cock has Tommy nearly combusting right there on the spot.

“You want teacher to fuck you now? Mmm. Think I can manage that, baby. You okay with me goin’ in raw? S’what I prefer, but whatever the lady wants.” He reassures her.

This type of conversation rarely ever takes place in mainstream porn. Most people would end up skipping through to get back to the main event, but Joel’s and Tommy’s viewers were different. They thoroughly enjoyed all the real bits of dialogue and relatable moments.

She giggles and pushes herself up into a sitting position between the other woman’s thighs. “Fuck me raw, please.”

“Atta girl.” He grins and gives the base of his cock a few slow pumps. He’s at the point where he’s hoping, praying that he can last through this without coming too soon. Despite his years of built up stamina, sometimes pussy is just that good.

He watches with hooded eyes as his bedside partner rolls back over onto her stomach, back arched as she dives right back into what Tommy taught her about the art of pussy eating. There’s no hesitation on her end as she laps at the other woman’s clit, eyes fluttering shut as she savors the tangy taste on her tongue.

The bed dips down slightly as Tommy situates himself behind her. His hands slide around her hips, yanking her back towards him in a sudden motion. Her weeping hole is pulsing, pushing out a drool of slick that gathers between her thighs, and he marvels at the sight of it.

“Fuckin’ gorgeous pussy you got, babygirl. Fuckin’ drippin’ all over the goddamn sheets.” He whistles low. “Eatin’ pussy really turned ya on, huh? Mmm. Your little hole is just beggin’ to be fucked.” He rasps and drops one hand from her hip to spread open her thighs further so that he can get a proper look.

“Such a needy lil’ cunt. Fuck. Don’t worry, baby. Teacher Tommy is gonna take real good care of ya, I promise.”

“Please, please, please fuck me, Tommy.” She mumbles against the woman’s cunt, mouth full of pussy. She presses her ass back towards him, desperate to feel the sweet stretch of his cock.

“Alright, alright, darlin.’ I know how eager you are, baby. Trust me, I know.” He chuckles before spitting directly onto his cock. He rubs his saliva in for extra lubrication (not that he needs it) before he notches the head of his cock at her entrance. He’s so painfully hard that he has to press down on it with his thumb to get the angle right as he slowly guides it into her wet warmth. She hugs him like the tightest fucking glove, pulling him in further and further till he’s bottomed out with his hips firmly pressed against her ass.

Vulgar, crude, filth tumbles past his lips as her pussy squeezes him like a vice he never wants to part from. He lets out a puff of hot air, before he chuckles, tone deep and raspy, “Jesus fuckin’ christ, doll. This pussy made outta liquid gold or somethin’? Lord have mercy, goddamn.”

Between moans both women couldn’t help but giggle at his comment, but those giggles transformed into cries of pleasure when Tommy almost immediately set a grueling pace, thrusting in and out of her. His skin slapped against hers wildly as the entire length of his impressive cock disappeared and reappeared again. Her jaw went slack and the movements of her mouth on the other woman’s pussy had soon become uncoordinated and messy.

“Don’t you stop eatin’ her pussy on my account, doll. I know how fuckin’ good it feels to have my cock stretchin’ your pussy apart, but c’mon, baby. You can do this.” He encourages her, leaning down with the breadth of his shoulders pressing into her back as he leans over, cock buried so deep inside of her, she can feel the head of him kissing her womb. “Want you to suck her clit into your mouth, babygirl. Remember to be nice n’gentle. It’s a sensitive little thing, and she’s so-so close. Make her come for me, baby, c’mon. Make her come for Teacher Tommy.”

She nods fervently, trying to focus back in on making the other woman feel good, while also enjoying her own pleasure. By god, Tommy Miller has a nice fucking cock, and he sure as hell knows how to use it. She suckles her clit into her mouth as instructed, rolling her tongue over the little pulsing bud. She uses her hands to keep her thighs spread apart when they threaten to close in around her skull.

“That’s it. Good fuckin’ girl.” He growls praisingly. “Makin’ her pussy sing, baby. Makin’ her feel so fuckin’ good. Teacher Tommy is so-so proud. But y’know what would make him even prouder, babygirl? Makin’ her pretty pussy squirt all over your face. C’mon, baby, you and me. Let’s get her there.”

He receives a chorus of enthusiastic “yes, yes, yes, teacher Tommy.”

He grinds his hips deep into her ass before pulling back shallowly and thrusts back in, repeating the pattern as he instructs. “Now to get her there, baby. Y’gotta do somethin’ extra special. Want you to slip your fingers back inside of her, and crook your ‘em inwards. Keep ‘em right there and do that as fast as you can. Drag ‘em n’ shake ‘em just right while you suckle on that sweet lil’ clit, and she’ll really sing for ya then.” His southern twang is thick and raspy, his own orgasm impending, but he’ll be damned if he comes too soon.

She obeys enthusiastically as she remembers just how Tommy taught her how to eat her out and finger her at the same time. She slips two fingers inside of her pulsing hole, scissoring them open before she crooks them inwards, right against that soft, spongy warm spot. She curls them at a rapid quick pace while she sucks on her clit just like she did before. The other woman wails and keens her hips forward into her face, chanting her name as her fingers grip her head tightly, nails scraping her scalp.

“O—oh—oh fuck!” She cries out, throwing her head back, “I’m gonna cum! Oh god, don’t stop! Please, please, please!” She sees stars behind her eyes as white hot pleasure shoots from the top of her spine and down to the tips of her toes.

“Come for us, sugar. C’mon, soak her fuckin’ face!” Tommy’s voice is commanding, dominant as his own carnal need for release seeps in, and they get a little taste of what Brazzer’s era Tommy was like for a moment.

The three of them come at nearly exactly the same time, orchestrated by the maestro himself. There’s a shared moment of real vulnerability as they let themselves go. He shoots hot ropes of his cum into her pussy from behind when he hears the telltale hiss of liquid shoot out of their sweet sugar, giving her a taste of the divine nectar for the first time. Her cunt milks him fucking dry, her orgasm fluttering for a long moment after the first handful of tight squeezes, and when he slowly begins to slip out, his cock is gleaming in a creamy mixture of both of their releases.

When she finally comes up for air, she’s coated in the other woman’s release and the space between her face and the other woman’s pussy is positively drenched.

Tommy preens at the sight, gently pulling the woman he was fucking up into a sitting position as she falls back against his hard chest. He kisses all over her face, tilting her head to the side so he can chase her lips and taste their partners cum on his tongue. “Did so good, baby. So-so fuckin’ good. M’so proud.” He kisses the tip of her nose before his attention is drawn to their other partner. “Let’s go and give her a well deserved cuddle, shall we, babygirl?” He wiggles his brows playfully as she reaches up to push back his sweaty, messy black curls that have fallen over his face.

They move in a languid motion to settle against either side of the other woman who appears to be in a post-orgasmic haze when she feels two pairs of soft, wet, lips peppering endearing kisses up her arms and to her face.

She giggles, eyes peeking open, glazed over as Tommy gently cups her face and strokes her cheekbone with his thumb.“Did so fuckin’ good for us, sugar. So fuckin’ good. Teacher Tommy is so proud of his star students.” he preens.

She lets out a pleasant sigh, and stretches her legs out, causing her pussy to squelch from the movement, and they laugh at the sound. “That was fucking incredible.” She finally says, catching her breath as Tommy’s free hand slowly wanders down between her thighs. When she feels his fingers drag through her folds, her hips jolt up against his hand and she lets out a soft yelp of surprise.

He chuckles and says, “Easy now, sugar. Jus’ wanted to see the mess you made s’all.” he rasps warmly.

“Jesus, dude!” She laughs and swats at his hand. “I’m fucking sensitive!”

He laughs again, withdrawing his hand and lets it rest on her hip instead. He feigns disappointment as their other partner tucks herself up around her side, draping her arm across her middle. “So does that mean you don’t want my cock?” He teases and she giggles.

“Fuck. I think I’m spent, Teacher Tommy,” she jokingly tacks on the nickname. “Maybe next time?”

“S’alright, sugar. Teacher Tommy understands. And besides, I think it’s snack time anyway. Y’all good with eatin’ out?” He coyly winks at the camera and the girls groan and roll their eyes. “What?! I meant orderin’ pizza s’all.”

Joel is working in his office, the door left open in case anyone needs him. He’s updating their channel page when he hears the familiar sound of Tommy’s footsteps approaching. Tommy is a repeat offender of strolling around the studio naked after a scene, so Joel doesn’t even look away from the screen, just hollers from his seat to avoid being confronted with the image of his brother’s bare cock and balls.

“Boy, if you don’t put on some fuckin’ pants...” He scolds with a tight shake of his head.

The younger Miller brother scoffs playfully and fights the urge to roll his eyes, “What? I just needed to grab my wallet! We're ordering pizza, you want anything?"

Joel pauses his typing as he leans back in his chair before saying, “Yeah, for you to put on some fuckin’ pants, you imbecile.”

“Cool, cool, so extra sausage?” Tommy teases and Joel threatens to throw his pen at him.

“No, you fuckwad. Pepperoni.” He emphasizes, “and none of that thin crust shit, Tommy. I’m serious.”

"I keep tellin' ya, Joel, just give the sausage another chance! You might actually like it!" He winks. “Speakin’ of giving things a chance, I had a proud teachin’ moment back there! Taught one of ‘em to properly eat pussy, and my god, she did fantastic! Even made her squirt!”

“Tommy, I tried it, and I didn’t like it, and I ain’t ever gonna like it.” He huffs before a grin begins to tug on the corner of his lips. “S’that so? Sounds like y’all had a party. Good job, little brother.”

“Oh, we had a party alright. Anyway, extra sausage, and super fuckin’ thin crust, anythin’ else?”

“I swear to god—” Joel threatens but Tommy is quicker than that so before Joel can throw his pen directly at his head, Tommy takes off down the hall gleefully.

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[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Propaganda:

For Orufrey: "They're tragic wlw who have devoted their lives to each other since they were kids. They live together, they cook together, they're raising four girls together and they're doing the best they can. Olruggio would do anything for Qifrey if Qifrey would just Let Him 😭 but Qifrey is dead-set on protecting Olruggio and keeping him safe and in the dark no matter what it costs... i cant 😭..."

"Man I don't know they just have the vibes. They have toxic yuri energy but they are two grown men. They've known each other since their apprentice days and have stuck together ever since. Qifrey's main magic type was something he took up because Olruggio proposed that he learned to control the water he feared. They live together away from most of society with Qifrey's four apprentices, living the sapphic cottagecore (ateliercore???) dream. Qifrey, due to the fact that his eyesight is very much failing, something which is very problematic when it comes to witches, who need their eyesight more than most, is getting very desperate to get all he lost to the Brimhats, the witches who took one of his eyes and his memories, and Olruggio ends up noticing this pursuit and is implied to have done this more than once. Qifrey does not want Olruggio to know about both his failing eyesight and his goals, so he ends up completely wiping Olruggio's memory of those things, and laments that Olruggio is a kind person, and one who would most likely forgive him again, but also one who would try to save him, even when he didn't want to be saved. He also apologized right up until the moment Olruggio's memories of his secret were gone. In general I think chapter 40 is the somewhat toxic guy yuri chapter ever. I'm very tired so I do not know how to explain any of this, I just thought "wow Orufrey reminds me of this one poll I saw on Tumblr" and then spent three days straight hunting for your blog before completely forgetting my reasoning for Orufrey being yuri right before I submitted this."

For Joongdok: "Well first of all Yoo Joonghyuk has a whole arc that is transfem coded as hell (has a power/technique that can technically only be used by women but somehow he can also use it, for a time he even turns into a woman to wield it and it's. Actually just let me get the quote "The ines of the face had changed but it was clearly Yoo Joonghyuk. No, it was even more than before.") that just kinda happens,, and doesn't get brought up again but anyway. Second of all just look at them. You see the vision. Also a bonus observation is that these two often get shipped in a poly ship with Han Sooyoung and whenever I see people make a "regular couple, yaoi couple, yuri couple, I see no difference love is love" meme with them the combination of which pair among these three is which of the categories is always different"

Note: This submission also mentions Han Sooyoung, but I decided to count this polyship submission as guy yuri as well.

"They love each other, they pretend they don't care for each other but all their actions prove they care too much, if you remove someone from the trio then the resulting duo is extremely dysfunctional, as evidenced by more than a million words of canon. Is it technically guy yuri? Well, Han Sooyoung is a woman, but in a way she's one of the guys. Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk are men, but the text heavily hints that Yoo Joonghyuk is a trans woman who's just too busy and stressed out to transition yet, and Kim Dokja has just never thought about his own gender a single day in his life. They made the world for each other, they went back in time countless times and waged countless wars for each other, they wrote and read and lived a story, their story, for each other and that's what saved them all. The way Han Sooyoung writes Yoo Joonghyuk's story to save Kim Dokja and loses herself in the process, the way Yoo Joonghyuk voluntarily lives the story to the point of losing himself too and even forgetting why he originally decided to do it, the way Kim Dokja read Han Sooyoung's story which was Yoo Joonghyuk's life and that's how he found himself, they all took so much from each other and gave so much of themselves to each other, this is all very yuri."

"they're so yuri you have no idea. they have every staple of a yuri ship. unwavering devotion. waiting dozens or thousands of years for each other. dooming themselves and the world for each other. so much yearning. i also see them genderbent a lot (including inn canon in the case of yjh) and they're right both of these people are women. i genuinely can't even see them strictly as men at this point they're just yjh and kdj and they are yuri do you understand."

"they're so yuri. the abscense of yuri is the presence of yuri etc etc. these two guys are all ABOUT abscenses. also one of them is a part time woman. the other guy is a guy but like in the same way a square is a rectangle. anyway they're so guyyuri to me. bonus points also because they have a mutual girlfriend and when she's present they're girlyaoi but that's not relevant to this specifically"

[your-local-crypt1d]

It's pride month so here's some pride headcanons for the empires s1 members

Most people have pots and pans, Jimmy solidarity is pan with POTS

Kinda stolen from my favourite fanfic but he's also polyamorous

People in the ocean empire and codlands often have multiple romantic partners over their lifetimes, and they don't like to be told who or how many to love

On that note, Lizzie has bi wife energy to me

Joel is as cishet as they come but is also the biggest ally ever, buys cakes with the bisexual flag on it at Lizzies' cake shop specifically for her

Along with already being gay, Scott is bigender to me (he/she pronouns). She's mostly referred to as the Elvenking of Rivendell, but it's not uncommon for his subjects to switch it up to Elvenqueen here or there

Elves are just very fluid with their gender

Both fWhip and Gem are trans and they swapped names as children. Because they're identical twins, they nearly swapped identities on accident because of this

fWhip is also gay you can FIGHT me on that

This isn't exactly a new idea but Xornoth is non-binary and uses they/he pronouns

Pixl strikes me as an aroace kind of guy, the kind who doesn't mind a kiss on the lips from his friends yknow?

Pixl "It's not gay to kiss the homies goodnight" riffs

Katherine Elizabeth the angry bisexual and Shrub Berry the even angrier lesbian, that is all.

Also because mlm wlw besties with Joey and Shrub

Anyway I leave you all with this final image

[hyperionheights]

bones sexuality headcanons

yeah i dont have proof (except angela) i just Know. call it my lesbian spidey senses. disclaimer that those are MY headcanons, you can have your own opinions on those ofc

main characters:

brennan: bi (preference for ugly men... but i digress). she probably started exploring her sexual orientiation in college and came to the conclusion that she's attracted to every gender to varying degrees. she's probably tongue kissed angela a few times pre season 1

booth: cishet ally! ⭐️ he's a bit confused but he's got the spirit, i'll give him that.. bi wife energy start playing whenever he walks into the room

zack: gayboi with a bad case of hero worship for dr brennan. naomi from paleonthology made him realise this isnt really what he'd like to excavate, if you get the gist... ;) (ew)

angela: imo? bi, but it's up to anyone. canon queer and i'm very happy about it

hodgins: bi. putting my foot down on this one- to me, hodgela is bi4bi. one day early into the series angela goes "why is everyone so hot... being bi is so hard" and hodgins is like "yeah, tell me about it" and they have a Oh, You Too? moment

cam: distinguished (ex-disaster) pan. she's all cool and collected now but in middle school she was probably stuttering whenever she saw a pretty girl

sweets: pan. boykisser. i just KNOW. that man is not heterosexual. probably had a few boyfriends in high school too

aubrey: bi? preference for women but in an alternate universe he and sweets are a thing

goodman: token straightie along with booth except i actually like him even tho even tho he took a 2 month sabbatical and never came back

squinterns:

clark: bi. a bit repressed and only realised it after breaking up with nora but as long as he gets there it's fine

daisy: pan. absolute girlkisser. she has the wlw equivalent of whatever zack felt for dr brennan. swaisy is a disaster pan couple.

fisher: pan- and i wont have it any other way. he was 100% checking sweets out when he came over to b&b's in s8, so i like to think when hodgins asks sweets "what is it with you and interns?" in 9x23 he's including fisher

wendell: bi and in a lab au he's dating vincent thank you

vincent: english twink and i think he and wendell should kiss in the lab lost & found

arastoo: straightie but we still love him. pan wife energy since he and cam are married

finn: god, i have No Idea but i have a feeling he doesn't either

wells: aro, and maybe ace too, but fyi even if he wasn't no one would want him

jessica: ... i used to say lesbian but i kinda let the jaubrey of it all get to me... pan vibes perhaps? i'll have to think it over. in another universe she and daisy are a thing too btw

other characters:

caroline julian:... lesbian. no i will not give an explanation for this one. sham marriage and all.

karen delfs: big pansexual energy coming from this random profiler?? i like her

villains: (do not take those seriously, but also...)

pelant: unlabeled. getting strangled by hodgins awoke something in him but he didnt have the time to figure it out between 8x01 and 9x04

taffet: very VERY mean lesbian

epps: heterosexual incel

broadsky: internalised homophobia over booth, clearly

kovac: the man pretended to be married to his sister. i'm not sure i even wanna know