#she is why the tardis is sentient

[mulderscully]

me holding back my rose is the essense of the tardis meta bc it sounds insane everytime i vocalize it but makes complete sense in my head

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

doctor who but i've never watched it

and so it begins again. the people asked for it. the people got it. i will ensure the people regret it.

i have never watched this show, or seen an edit, but i am a thorough researcher and i feel that i've got the essence of it.

this is what i have gathered. academicians worldwide take note.

Firstly, so I don't anger anyone, I accept and acknowledge that the tardis is blue and not yellow. My misinformation was from a Drarry fanfiction, and I had hitherto regarded Drarry fanfiction as the absolute truth.

There are doctors, and there are at least fifteen of them. At least two of them are David Tennant, which I can respect.

I'm not sure why the doctors are doctors, because I can find no trace of any medical procedure except for one doctor who licks things, which he learned from the previous doctor. If this is sufficient reason, I apologise for doubting their credentials.

On the other hand, if they are doctors thanks to a postdoctoral degree, this is also fine, though I have never seen anyone study anything. There is however a doctor, and there were people upset about her, but the fandom pointed out she set the tardis on fire, which is apparently a very doctor thing to do. Setting things on fire is absolutely something any research scholar would love, so again, apologies for doubting their credentials.

At least one doctor is gay. It is probably one of the David doctors, which checks out. He says someone, I think a dentist, is hot. I envy the maybe-dentist.

A t least one doctor is trans. I was unable to find them. But they exist. Oh yes, the fandom assures me they exist.

David Tennant as well as Ncuti Gatwa were fanboys, first of the show, and second of David Tennant, and thus they got into acting. Just a fun tidbit from me, since I am now the authority on this fandom.

There are time machines with which the doctors have sex by piloting them, which is questionable because the time machines are only partially sentient. I am not sure if the time machines are the tardis. But the tardis is blue, and not yellow, of that I am certain.

There was a stage play. Or maybe that was a metaphor for the production budget of the early seasons. I am not sure, but toddler David Tennant watched it. I assume no one took a 3 year old to a stage play, so through scientific deduction, it must have been a metaphor.

At some point, Death is an agony aunt and they have to spill secrets to it, or drown in a lake of human skulls. Who is this they? It's so obvious that the fandom sees no need to explain it, and neither do I. I do know it though. Of that you may remain certain.

A David doctor has a niece and she likes being his niece.

A David doctor has a best friend named Donna. He kisses her head. She supports his fruitiness. It is wholesome. It killed him when he lost her.

Slight tangent, but younger David doctor looks like Andrew Garfield. Current David in photos does give Ben Barnes energy. Any Wolfstar shippers, I believe you've found the Wolfstar kid. It is David Tennant.

A lot of people are David Tennant. A reliable Pinterest post on Doctor Who, clearly well researched, gave me the statistic that 15% of Doctor Who is David Tennant. From the amount of David Tennant that I ran across in my research, I don't understand it but I don't doubt it, either.

Speaking of Andrew Garfield, he in involved in this somehow. I am not sure how, but you cannot escape Andrew Garfield. He is even a part of fandoms he never acted in.

There is an individual named Catherine, I think she is the actress, but she could be a character. She seems to have much less knowledge about Doctor Who lore than I do. David Tennant finds it funny. Maybe he would find me funny, too.

The doctors installed some things in the tardis, from a wheelchair ramp to a jukebox. I don't know why a jukebox was needed. If I'm honest I don't know what a jukebox is. I don't know what the tardis is. But it is blue, and not yellow.

There is a French catchphrase.

Something happens in Wales. I don't know what it is, but something always seems to be happening in Wales in these fandoms, so I don't doubt it.

There is an old Doctor Who in a wheelchair, and he is happy to see a David doctor.

They go around in space, and do things. Who is this they? You and I both know the answer, so we needn't talk about it.

The show intro is "doo wee doo".

There is an alien who is not a mouse, the alien is The Meep, and uses the definite article as pronouns. David doctor is supportive of this, which is very good.

I found baby Yoda in the show, but apparently they call it a 'goblin' there, and someone doesn't like it.

There is a lot to do with time. There is a time hole, and things happen, and people die and are resurrected. There is danger, but it is fun.

They have CGI, and it is not good, which is the best thing about it. Who is they? Please stop asking me. It is rather obvious and something I definitely know.

Someone's boyfriend dies and the boyfriend is then resurrected but then gets lost with his boyfriend but then is reincarnated as a girl who would still call herself the someone's boyfriend but then she is replaced by the boyfriend but he's different now. I apologise for any errors that have crept it, but the tardis is blue and not yellow.

Someone named Martha is a doctor, and someone is very proud of her for it.

The eleventh and twelfth doctors like bow ties.

David Tennant wants to be ginger. David Tennant always gets what he wants. Who can refuse David Tennant? David Tennant is then ginger.

A David doctor gets a happy ending.

Someone yelled at Neil Gaiman about this. It was a mistake. He said that since it had already been done, he wouldn't want to give David's character a happy ending in S3, that would be a trifle unoriginal.

A lesson to be learned, Good Omens fandom, just a bit of advice from your son, do not yell at Neil Gaiman, it does not go well. Rumour has it he murdered the people who complained about him always wearing black. Of course, there is the fact that he doesn't exist, but that doesn't seem to have stopped him.

The doctors manifest in the previous doctor's clothes, which is apparently so last season. The tardis also manifests. I don't know where, or how. But it is blue, and not yellow.

I know, there was a lot of lore, so many of you thought I wouldn't be able to gather it all. But look how much research I did! I've got it better than maybe-actress-maybe-character Catherine, I'm sure :"]

Anyway, all the major plot points are covered above, so anyone who hasn't watched Doctor Who, feel free to refer to this and impress your Whovian friends with your knowledge! [not to be judgemental, but what a dreadfully Dr Seuss name, I rather like it]

[whynotjohnlock]

Doctor who incorrect quotes!

AAaAaaAhHhhHhH! I'm trapped in a cycle where I need some comfort so I watch this man child do silly things for 45 minutes but every episode I end up in tears because some I'm attached to Dies, so I need more comfort from doctor who but then my hearts get ripped out again so I start watching more Doctor who and then-

Here's some dumb stuff to brighten your day!

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The Doctor: I WOULD DESTROY THE WORLD FOR YOU!

(Y/N): Okay, can you do the dishes?

The Doctor: No!

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The Doctor: Do not test me (Y/N)! I am the last timelord-

(Y/N): What about Ranni and the Master and literally like every 10 adventures where they just randomly appear? Not to mention all the other versions of yourself you seem to keep running into.

The Doctor: I've killed thousands of innocent beings and creatures and-

(Y/N): Haven't we all stepped on an ant pile or on grass before?

The Doctor: (Y/N), we are not the same I've lived for hundreds of years-

(Y/N): Isn't that a perfectly normal age for a Timelord? Hundreds of years only sounds impressive because I'm human.

The Doctor: You will wither and die and I will have to live on alone-

(Y/N): Do you not consider the TARDIS company? Isn't she literally sentient?

The Doctor: .......

The Doctor: *grumpily stomps in the TARDIS*

The Doctor: I need a dumber companion next time.

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The Doctor: Bowties are cool!

Y/N: *confused* I never said there weren't...?

The Doctor: oh I know, I just like saying that.

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Y/N: *Throwing they apples into space out the TARDIS doors* Bad Apples! Kill them with fire!

The Doctor: what did the apples ever do to you?

Y/N: Remember that one time I broke my leg and couldn't go adventureing with you?

The Doctor: what does that have to do with anything?

Y/N: I broke my leg because I tripped over an apple. I just realized the ancient earth prophecy is true. 'An apple a day keeps the doctor away' and I need to destroy them all now.

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Child: What’s it like being tall?

Child: Is it nice?

Child: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

The Doctor: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 3 chairs, 6 boxes, a small coffee table and 4 oddly placed stools to get what they want.

Y/N: It was one time!

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Companion: *Calling Y/N* where is The Doctor, Y/N?

Y/N: sorry, the doctor has the zoomies right now, whatever it is, they can't help you.

Companion: The "Zoomies"?

The Doctor: *Spinning on chair quickly after chugging soy sauce while making incoherent dinosaur noises*

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Missy: Hey, do you know where (Y/N) is?

The Doctor: Why, so you can kidnap them again? That's never going to happen-

Missy: No, I would never waste time kidnapping Y/N again, they are too much fun for that. I want to have a girl's trip out with them. Actually is (Y/N) a girl? I can never tell what humans think gender is defined as.

The Doctor: actually, I don't really know either.

Y/N: *points at the TARDIS covered entirely by rainbow glitter* you should know by now doctor that I Identify as a fucking menace.

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The Doctor: Daleks are the most evil beings of pure hate and are not to be trifled with under any circumstances.

Y/N: *Bursts out in laughter*

Doctor: Y/N, that's not funny!

Y/N: *still laughing* It can't even get up the stairs. OH FeAr tHE MigHtY dAlEk EmPIrE, FeLleD bY a SLiGht iNcliNE!

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The Doctor: I hate your existence and will make sure your parents never meet, Y/N. I will find your friends and make them hate you!

The Doctor: Don't you dare!

Y/N: Uno!

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Y/N: Nock Nock.

Doctor: fine I know this is going to be bad but Who's there?

Y/N:*Trying not to laugh*Doctor.

Doctor: *Rolls his eyes*Doctor who?

Y/N: Exterminate! Exterminate!

Doctor: That joke was terrible, Y/N.

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Y/N: How many time lords does it take to check if it's safe to go outside the TARDIS?

Doctor: I don't know.

Y/N: me neither because you've never fucking done it.

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The Cybermen: *Starts trying to connect Y/N's thoughts to upgrade them*

Y/N: *Gives them a tuor of their mind*

Y/N: on your left you can see the mental fuckery that is my everyday thought process.

Y/N: in front of you is every single weird reference from all media I have consumed in no order whatsoever.

Y/N: Oh, on your left is a real life coherent thoght! That's impressive, I thought all of them had died with that time I ate half of a computer.

Y/N: Oh, I want you to meet my friends! That's anxiety, hiding just around the corner is depression. Oh, and here's my BFF self doubt!

Doctor: Y/N, how did you stall in your mind for so long? I thought I wouldn't be quick enough to save you! How... *Looks around*

Doctor:

Doctor: you need therapy.

Y/N: I need therapy.

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Jack: Hey, Just wanted to check in on my favorite couple.

Y/N: We're not a couple!

Doctor: Yes we are Y/N! How could you honestly forget our night underneath the singing trees on €en§πß where I proposed to you?

Jack: Well congrats on-

Y/N: I was with Missy, who the FUCK did you propose too?

Doctor: wait, what were you doing with Missy?

Jack: *Munchies on popcorn*

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[klaus-littlestwolf]

Tag-List: @avalyaaa @enchantingcupcakecollectionfan

She hadn’t meant for him to find out.

She had told him that she wasn’t feeling well and to just let her rest for a few days, of course the Doctor being who he is didn’t complain and often came to the door to check on her and offer to bring her various drinks, foods, and medications to make her feel better. However she knew nothing would, she had missed her suppressants by a day (time in the TARDIS being difficult to track) and her heat had come almost instantly.

Thankfully all of the rooms (if not just Y/n’s thanks to the sentient TARDIS) seemed to be scent proofed so he didn’t know anything. Until of course she stole his coat…

‘Y/n! Have you seen my coat? I thought I left it hanging on one of the round things but it’s not-‘ he cut himself off as he opened her door and was overwhelmed by a heavy, delectable scent like nothing he had ever smelled before. It smelled like a combination of lilacs and raspberries and he was obsessed with it, freezing his steps as he looked up to see his friend in a makeshift nest that was clearly thrown together in a hurry (though it still looked quite comfortable) clutching his coat to her chest as she slept.

Suddenly it all made sense.

He had seen her taking medication many times before, though she always just said it was for a headache. Sometimes her scent was…off…in a way he could never explain (though he wasn’t complaining), and he had an overwhelming need to scent the girl every time she was around any other Alpha. The Doctor brushed it all off as he had never felt like that before but it seemed that somewhere deep down he had known she was an Omega. But why hadn’t she just told him?

He stepped closer, her scent becoming stronger and stronger with each step but he controlled himself as he knelt down (being sure not to disturb her nest in any way) and felt her head. She was on fire and he knew she needed him, he couldn’t leave her, he wouldn’t! He needs to care for his Omega…his? He didn’t know where that came from but it felt right.

He quickly jumped back up and landed the TARDIS back in Y/n’s modern time, shutting the door behind him and shopping for everything she could possibly need.

He came back an hour later with his arms full and walked back to her room, seeing that she was awake as he came in. ‘What are you-‘

‘It’s okay! I know, and it’s alright darling, you don’t have to hide it from me.’ He plugged in a little mini fridge that he had gotten and filled it with water and a few snacks before handing her a large basket full of as many different kinds of chocolate as he could find. ‘I got you some blankets as well, I wasn’t sure what fabrics you did and didn’t like, I know Omegas are picky about their nesting…things.’ He sat just outside of the nest and handed her different blankets, most were a no but she accepted 4 of them and he counted that as a win. ‘Why didn’t you just tell me Y/n? I could have helped you.’

‘I thought you wouldn’t let me come with you…’ she admitted and the Doctor instantly moved to wipe her tears away. ‘Everyone always treats me like I’m small and delicate, and like I’m stupid. I thought you would just believe I was a liability and I wasn’t worth your time…’

‘Y/n! That’s ridiculous! You are worth everything, you are perfect, and you know I only pick the best kind of people to join me. I do not care what you are and if you need a few days off every month, I will help you.’ Her cheeks grew red as he said this and he instantly stuttered out an explanation. ‘I mean I’ll get you what you need and all…’

‘What if I need you?’ Y/n asked and his eyes grew wide, though he quickly shook himself out of it.

‘Well then…I would say that I will take care of you now and need your consent before your next heat, I cannot in good conscience do anything right now-‘

‘But I’m telling you that you can-‘

‘Y/n, you’ve been suffering for 2 days, you are not in your right mind. You can’t promise me that you would not regret it when the pain is gone. If you want my help from now on…I would love to take care of you, my Gods you smell fantastic…that word is still strange on the tongue…but for right now let’s get some food into you and I’ll get you something that will help you sleep peacefully.’ With that promise she agreed and he hesitantly leaned closer and kissed her lips quickly before running out to get her favorite meal and coming back with something to help her sleep.

The Doctor spent the next few days taking care of Y/n, who eventually allowed him into her nest to snuggle her.

He spent every heat from then on with her in her nest, having marked her their first night together during that next month. The Doctor never believed he could actually have a mate and be happy in any of his lifetimes, but he was quite happy just this once to be proven wrong.

Misc. Masterlist

[hauntingcryptids]

Tell Me That I Belong To You

Dhawan!Master x Reader

Summary - The Reader is having a bad day. So, with the convincing of The TARDIS, The Reader seeks comfort in The Master.

Based On This Request - *This was originally based on a request but the more I continued to write and edit it, the more the fic drifted away from the prompt. So, I am just going to let this be its own fic and write another fic more closely aligned to the prompt.

Warnings - Reader not feeling well, insecurity on the part of the reader, canon typical telepathy. (let me know if I missed anything)

Word Count - 1864

A/n - Gender Neutral Reader. I have a smut version of this fic if anyone would like to read it, but I don’t want to post it if people would just prefer the fluff version. I also don’t know how good this is, but I just wanted to get something out there after feeling awful mentally for a while. So, I hope that you enjoy this :)!

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You woke up with a headache. The type of headache that no matter how much water you drank, food you ate, or sun(TARDIS created sun) you layed in would cure your malady. Headaches, in general, but especially ones as bad as the one you were experiencing, always made your whole day awful. Oftentimes, the pain in your head would cause you to spiral internally until your mental health was utterly destroyed. That’s where you were now, arguing to yourself in your head about you and your “Humanness” and how you weren’t good enough for The Master. How could you possibly be good enough for The Master? Even if you weren’t Human, why would he want to be with someone like you?

The TARDIS beeped determinedly. You were becoming better at understanding The TARDIS given how much time you had spent within the ship but still you could only understand part of what she was telling you. The bits you could discern were: “The Master loves you”, “you are good enough”, “you have always been enough”, and “The Master would never think such horrible things about you. Ever!”

Eventually, you stopped The TARDIS’s rant about how great you were and that she wished that she could help improve your self-image. You thanked her for everything she said. Even though didn’t understand everything, you could feel her distress over your thoughts and her want to help you.

“The Master could help you where I fail.” The TARDIS finally said telepathically.

“He’s probably busy, though.” You mumbled, worried about upsetting him if you interrupted him while he was doing something.

“Go to him. He wouldn’t want to know that you allowed yourself to suffer when he was there ready and available to help you.” The TARDIS had to say this statement a couple of times in order for you to fully understand, and you sighed in response. She was right. The Master would be furious if he found out that you hid your distress from him, you knew that, he said as much many times before. It’s just that your brain would lie to you when you were upset.

“The Master will understand.” The sentient time and spaceship whispered into your brain. The TARDIS, given her time being The Master’s ship, knew better than anyone how the state of a person’s physical health could affect their mental health. She knew how greatly The Master suffered, therefore The Master would never judge you. The TARDIS just hoped that you knew what she knew.

“Can you lead me to The Master, please?” You asked after ruminating over everything the incredibly kind ship communicated to you. The TARDIS cheerfully directed you to the main library where The Master often lounged. 

Like many times before, The Master was sitting horizontally on the sofa reading. He seemed engrossed in the thick tome resting up against his bent thigh. The alien’s engrossed demeanour made you want to turn back and talk to The Master later, but The TARDIS reassured you with a comforting presence. Both you and the ship knew that the only person who could make you happy when you were feeling off was the rogue Time Lord.

You walked up as quietly as you could and poked the Master’s cheek with your finger. The Master looked up at you with a smile, completely unbothered. Even while agonisingly planning an upcoming plan to toy with The Doctor, you would always bring him joy just with your presence. You were never a bother to him,

“Hello, my little Human. How are you today?” The Master seemed so calm even though you expected him to be upset. You wrapped your arms around your torso anxiously and subconsciously began rocking back and forth on your feet.

“Can I sit on your lap please, Master?” You sounded tired, which worried The Master, though he chose not to react for your benefit. 

“Of course, love.” The Master placed the book he was researching and moved slightly to allow you to sit on his lap. 

As soon as you rested your body against his, The Master scooted his body down the sofa until the two of you were practically lying down. The Master then wrapped his arms firmly around your back, trapping you against his chest with the beating of his hearts rattling throughout your body. 

You breathed a sigh of relief, causing The Master to chuckle lovingly. You then nuzzled against his clothes-covered collarbones and the base of his neck and then breathed in his scent. His presence was comforting, but unfortunately, it wasn’t enough. Your mind still hurt and your thoughts still moved far too quickly for you to properly calm down. You assumed that your thoughts were loud, loud enough for The Master to hear, but you didn’t put any effort into hiding your thoughts. You just wanted to dissolve into The Master’s chest and to let all of your anxieties disappear.

“I’m sorry that you aren’t feeling well, Y/n.” The Master said softly against your ear. One of his hands absentmindedly caressed up and down your back.

“Make me feel good, Master, please. You’re the only one who can.” Your headache seemed to peak right before you committed yourself to asking The Master for some help. The warmth of The Master’s body against yours and the severe pain spiking through your head was too contrasting and too overwhelming to put on a brave face any longer.

“What kind of Master would I be if I didn’t take care of my beloved Human.” The feel of The Master’s smirk against your skin sparked a warmth to spread through you. The Master always made you feel better and more secure, but on bad days you just needed a bit more reassurance.

“Please tell me that you mean that?” 

“Of course I mean it, my love. You are the only person I could ever care about.” The Master adjusted slightly in order to look you in the eye. You shied away, avoiding eye contact, and The Master didn’t push you to look at him. Though he did brush a hand down the side of your face a couple of times before kissing your forehead delicately.

“Let’s go somewhere more comfortable, love.” The Master said this to inform you that he would move the two of you. He would carry you places in The TARDIS without telling you where you were going when you were feeling like your everyday self, but not when you were feeling off. The Master never wanted to add to your anxiety, so he would always tell you when he would carry you off somewhere.

The Master moved the two of you so he was sitting up with you on his lap. He wrapped your legs around his waist and held you tightly against his chest before finally standing up with you securely in his arms. Then he carried you off to your shared bedroom. 

Once in the dark-themed and dimly lit bedroom, The Master gently placed you on the bed and wrapped you up in as many blankets as you wanted and needed. He stepped back from the bed momentarily to remove his clothes that were far inferior to yours when it came to the act of cuddling and resting. Eventually, he crawled under the covers to join you on the bed. He cuddled closer to you, holding you tighter than he did in the library, and then rubbed his hands up and down your back as you returned to your place cuddling into The Master’s side.

“What do you need, my love?”

“You.” You’re speech was muffled by The Master’s neck, but he still understood you.

“Yes, but what do you need me to do? I know that you are hiding something in that beautiful mind of yours.” You felt The Master softly tap a finger against your temple, a little jolt of calmness and relief coursing through you with each tap.

“You won’t laugh at me, will you?”

“Never.” The Master answered with sincerity heavy in his tone. You nervously mumbled your response under your breath and into his neck, making this comment more difficult for The Master to decipher.

“I couldn’t hear you, love.”

“Can you tell me I belong to you?” You asked a bit louder, but you were still quiet and nervousness permeated your question. The Master’s breath caught in his throat. He tried his best to hold in his excitement brought on by your request because this moment was about you. The idea of you belonging to him was exactly what The Master wanted, more than anything in the Universe, probably even the Multiverse. What added to his growing excitement and adoration of you was the fact that The Master didn’t even have to make you feel this way. You wanted him just as much as he wanted you. Somehow, the stars aligned and they delivered the perfect person to The Master. What else could he do but give you whatever you wanted in an act of gratification?

“You belong to me, love. You always will belong to your Master. You’ll be mine forever.” The Master cuddled you impossibly closer, intertwining your bodies in a knot, and whispered into your ear with all the devotion and fervour he felt for you heavy on his tongue.

“And you really mean that -” You tried to ask again, but The Master cut you off before you could finish your insecurity-filled question. 

“Of course I mean that. I would never lie to you, especially about this.” This time when The Master moved to look you in the eye you didn’t turn away. His warm chocolate eyes held all of the sentiments that were laced within his words and even more. If it were possible, you would stare into his eyes forever. 

“Thank you, Master.”

“There is no need to thank me. You just need some rest and then you will feel better.” You huffed into The Master’s neck, just wishing that he would accept your gratitude without dismissing it.

“Come on, rest your head on my chest and close your eyes. I will deal with that headache and those pesky thoughts that were troubling you.” You did as The Master asked, already planning how you would repay The Master for everything he did for you today. 

As soon as you placed your head on The Master’s chest, the sound of his heartbeats immediately calmed you down and the pressure on your mind began to subside. The Master massaged his hands along your back, starting slowly along your neck and then moving further down toward the base of your spine. He smoothed every ache and worked out every knot and kink, all the while placing delicate kisses across your head and face. You heard him whispering praises in your ear, some in your native language and some in his. Even though you couldn’t understand everything he spoke to you, you knew that what he said was entirely comprised of his love. Because of The Master’s actions, you soon fell asleep. You were completely consumed by the rogue Time Lord’s presence, just like you wanted to be when the day began.

[glitterypin]

It's very amusing to me when in Doctor Who the Doctor talks to the TARDIS and outsiders witnessing this seem perplexed and wonder if the TARDIS is alive or they think the Doctor is weird or eccentric because of it.

I mean, in all fairness, the TARDIS IS sentient and the Doctor IS weird and eccentric, but have you ever owned a computer that you had to use to do actual work in a specialized software?

Honestly, I actually talk to my computer all the fucking time. Most of the times it's phrases like "why are you being such a bitch right now?" or "shh, sweetheart, mummy loves you, be strong" and also an awful lot of "please" and "thank you". No, it doesn't talk back but it does feel like we're having a conversation because sometimes it responds better, while other times it becomes even slower or freezes and then I swear at it.

The Doctor talking to the TARDIS is honestly one of the most normal things he/she does.

[pastanest]

A/N: I’m really sorry but read-more links aren’t working on my blog atm, I’ve raised a ticket with Tumblr and they’ve registered it as a bug that they’re looking into but for now I can’t use them because they mess up the whole post :(

Eleventh Doctor x gender!neutral reader

Dating Eleven Would Include

so to begin with, he’d be awkward and clumsy as per usual

over time he gets more accustomed to the blossoming feelings for you and relaxes into them, being more open to flirting back

PDA comes so naturally to him he consistently catches himself out when he becomes aware of the fact he’s holding your hand, swung an arm around you or pulled you in for a hug on instinct

the Doctor is always going out of his way to do sweet things for you

he remembers every place you’ve referenced wanting to visit, every favorite food you’ve mentioned, every dream date idea that he has pried out of you with the least subtle questions and motivations you can imagine

and he uses all of that information to his advantage, regularly planning said dates out for you in the most beautiful places in the universe

a regular picnic? nono, not on the Doctor’s watch. we’re talking planets entirely made of meadows, as far as the eye can see, inhabited by sentient orbs of light that exist in complete peace and harmony, floating around amongst the flowers and creating a field of stars every time the seven sun’s set

a date at the cinema? try the biggest cinema screen in the universe that you have to sit 50 feet away from, with special goggles just to protect your eyes from the power of the light from the screen. 

“And it’s not just the screen that’s big, it’s the highest quality speakers ever invented, and they are completely invisible! 4D sound systems? Not here, 8D AND UP ONLY BABY! That does mean that if we see any movie with freak weather patterns, we may have to bring several changes of clothes to suit the climates they simulate around our seats. Which are levitating in total darkness. So we will also need a very powerful torch to find our seats. Which I have already invented, naturally. It plays tense music whenever it’s switched on.”

“That’s a lot to process, but I am stuck on the torch - why did you add tense music as a feature?”

“For dramatic effect, why else?!”

he’s fiercely protective of you 

we all know the look in his eyes when the Daleks rock up, the fury that burns when he recalls anything regarding the Time War; that’s the same expression that greets anyone or anything that causes you harm in any way whatsoever

he’s almost scared to admit that he’d tear a planet apart to find you, save you, fix any harm that has been done to you, if that is what it cost

whether you are with him through his regeneration into 11 or not, you show him parts of his personality that have been hidden for hundreds and hundreds of years, feelings he never thought he would be lucky enough to find again

and it terrifies him, of course, to consider what he lost in those feelings before, how he could lose you in a new, more painful way 

but you reassure him

with every hold of your hand, every bright smile, every hug, every laugh at one of his silly lines, every kiss, every whisper in the dark when he lies with you until you fall asleep in his arms, you comfort the Doctor that no matter what happens, you will find your way back to each other

you, the Doctor and River Song are absolutely in a three-way marriage

River flirts with you more than the Doctor and he’ll sulk about it

“Honestly, what’s the point in me being here?! Should I drop you two off on an isolated moon to engage in your…shenanigans?! Ooh, ‘shenanigans’, now that’s a good word, I should use it more often!”

you and River both know him so well and share your frustrations over his occasional idiocies the girl’s that get it, y’know?

picture this: the Doctor being so excited to see River but she just runs past him and straight to you because the two of you have orchestrated sleepovers in the TARDIS and routinely fail to let the Doctor know ahead of time iconic

the two of you never make it official, but it is understood on both sides that you are in a relationship and nothing will break that bond

and you are the happiest couple in this universe, and every other

[onebluedalek]

@voiceinterface STARTER

The strange places old technology finds itself tends to be wide and numerous. The oddball places sentient technologies find themselves tend to very from chaotic to everyday. The strange and alien places TARDIS find themselves weather it be due to their pilots or random choice of an algorithm are so varied that it may seem like TARDIS are everywhere at all times and in every space.

This particular TARDIS likely knows the inside of a Dalek’s ship. Their pilot of many faces had an odd obsession with stirring up their hornets nest by stepping *into* said nest quite often. And yet, this one was unlike all the rest. There was clear signs of human influence, other alien technologies littered the room they had appeared into. Around her the walls looked Dalek. The metal sheen of platinum and silver, hexagonal structures littering the walls lending the room light. Two charging stations leaned against the wall yet only one looked to be visible n use. The second was buried in a nest fit for any wandering human.

A mattress cluttered in blankets, pillows and clothing sat wedged up over the lift of the machine and was pressed against the wall. Books and sketch pads that were set at the bed’s end were being nearly devoured by a stack of clothing. This place definitely seemed well lived in. Well loved with every inch of the wall covered in hand drawn posters. Perhaps these were why she was here. Perhaps these ones needed rescue.

[k9mark69]

companion: i was thinking more like flat out stealing from him

doctor: what? no way

companion: why not? you already stole the tardis

doctor: no i didnt. shes a sentient being, she can do whatever she wants.

tardis: i wanna steal

[gallifreyinstituteforlearning]

Do Gallifryans/Time Lords have a similar chromosome structure as us humans? Are there any vast differences? I'd imagine they have at least double the chromosomes we have, or perhaps don't even have pairs, rather groups of three (e.g. XYZ) or something alike.

What's the structure of Gallifreyan DNA?

🧬 Gallifreyan Chromosomes + triple helix

Unlike a human's double-stranded DNA, we know that Gallifreyans rock a triple helix with 69 chromosomes arranged in three sets of 23. This triad structure introduces a level of genetic complexity that includes basic abilities related to time phenomena and psionic capabilities.

🌌 Rassilon's Strand

However, Time Lords take it up a notch. Upon completing their education at the Time Academy, Gallifreyans undergo a transformative exposure to the Eye of Harmony's time energies, integrating what we'll term as 'Rassilon’s Strand' into their genetic makeup. This is what makes a Time Lord.

This fourth strand provides the following abilities:

More stable regenerations: Slightly less worry about turning into a sentient cactus or something.

Time sense boost: Like becoming a living clock.

TARDIS BFFs: This strand is why they can bond with their TARDISes. Without it, time travel would be a no-go.

Matrix connection: Keeps you constantly logged into Gallifreyan Ancestral Memory Facebook.

🔬 Detecting and Inheritance

You can't just spot this extra DNA strand with regular equipment - you need some fancy temporal scanning tech to see it. It's a form of temporal encoding, where the genetic information transcends physical structures and resonates with time itself. Plus, because it's artificially added and 'earned', 'Rassilon’s Strand' isn't passed down through genetic inheritance/normal reproduction.

🏫 So ...

So, in short, Gallifreyan/Time Lord DNA is like the deluxe edition of genetics. More complex, more strands, and packed with stuff that make time travel a genetic obligation.

Related:

Factoid: What's the link between a Time Lord and their TARDIS?

Factoid: How do Time Lords biologically stay connected to the Matrix?

Hope that helped! 😃

More content ... →📫Got a question? | 📚Complete list of Q+A and factoids →😆Jokes |🩻Biology |🗨️Language |🕰️Throwbacks |🤓Facts →🫀Gallifreyan Anatomy and Physiology Guide (pending) →⚕️Gallifreyan Emergency Medicine Guides →📝Source list (WIP) →📜Masterpost If you're finding your happy place in this part of the internet, feel free to buy a coffee to help keep our exhausted human conscious. She works full-time in medicine and is so very tired 😴

[firephoenix2305]

This is a Rory Williams appreciation post

Because I have recently finished season 6 and I need to shout about it to someone.

(Disclaimer: Severe season 5 and 6 spoilers ahead. If you haven't watched them yet, run away very very fast. Or don't, it's up to you. But you have been warned)

Okay, don't get me wrong. I love Amy, she's great. And I love The Doctor, because well, he's The Doctor, and also Matt Smith, so he's great too.

But.

But. But. But

If I had to pick a favorite...

Rory. Fucking.Arthur. Williams.

I don't even know where to start with this man.

The way he loves Amy. The way he cares about her more than the entire goddamn universe. The way he DOES NOT BUDGE from her side even when she kisses another man the night before their wedding, then proceeds to severely third-wheel him in a very Mickey Smith sort of way for the better part of two episodes (which in retrospect isn't really that much, but STILL) and takes her sweet time to realize she is in love with him.

We are talking, ladies and gentlemen, about the Last goddamn Centurion. This is a man who willingly lived through every single second of 2000 years of human history only to protect Amy Pond. 2000 years without so much as a wink of sleep, or rest, or any synonym of the word. How does this man's heart not physically burst from the sheer amount of love he has for Amy?!?!

I just...I want one. I want a Rory. Does anybody know where I can find a Rory? Pretty please?

And another thing. I'm not sure what it was that Rory did to the writers of this show but JESUS CHRIST. Why so much hate?

And just to prove I'm not even exaggerating, here's a brief summary of some of the things which have happened to this poor guy in seasons 5 and 6. (From the point where he officially joins Amy and The Doctor in the TARDIS onwards, that is)

- S5E7. Killed by the Eknodine in the Dream Lord's fake reality. (And given that horrible ponytail, btw)

- S5E9. Murdered in cold blood by a rogue Silurian, then absorbed by a time crack and hence deleted from the memory of the entire universe. (Being murdered obviously wasn't enough, no)

- S5E13. This is a big one. Revived as an Auton, realized Amy doesn't remember him, then when Amy finally does remember he unwillingly kills her because of his programming (which he eventually breaks free from), stays with the Pandorica for 2000 odd years and finally, after all of that, gets erased from reality. Again. (But it's okay because The Doctor has rebooted the universe, so real Rory came back. Or, rather, never left in the first place. Doctor Who is complicated, okay?!)

- S6E3. To start off the season well, he drowns and practically dies, and is then transferred to a spaceship healing facility where he is essentially hooked to a live support system until Amy brings him back to life.

- S6E4. Tortured and "killed" by the thing controlling the TARDIS, who had a blast warping time and making him go crazy and ultimately making him die of old age. (Not sure if it even counts as a death, but his rotting skeleton was there, so I'm counting it)

- S6E6. Finds out that his wife is not actually his wife but is instead a bunch of sentient flesh which is pretending to be his wife; and that his actual wife is nine months pregnant and currently giving birth to their daughter God knows where. (I did say it was complicated).

- S6E7. Finds Amy and baby Melody, only to lose Melody to the creepy eye patch lady because having lost Amy in the exact same way the previous episode clearly wasn't enough torture for him.

- S6E10. Has "other" Amy (the older version) absolutely hate his guts for something which isn't his fault at all, and has to re-convince her that she loves him. Again. (Seriously, Amy?). Then, he has to sacrifice the other Amy to save his Amy, which was extremely painful for him. (Man, this season gets weirder and weirder, doesn't it?)

- S6E13. Suffers inhumane amounts of pain and almost dies (again) when he lets himself be electrocuted by the eye patch thingy to give Amy, River and The Doctor time to escape. (I know this wasn't technically the same Rory that went through all those other things, but I decided to include it anyway)

AND I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED SEASON 7 YET. Give the man a break! And stop killing him, for God's sake!

(I know this won't happen, because although I haven't watched S7 I accidentally spoiled the whole weeping angel business to myself, so yeah)

And lastly, this scene >>>

Do. Not. Fuck. With the roman.

I just love him.

That is all. Thanks for hearing me out, I feel better.

(@capinejghafa was the furthest back I could track these gifs, but I don't know if they were the one who made them).

[justahumblememefarmer]

Ultimate Doctor Who Poll Round 2 - Matchup 4

Episode Summaries under the cut

54: The Star Beast - 60th Anniversary Special 1: A newly regenerated 14th Doctor, unsure why he has regenerated to have the same face as his 10th self, lands in London and runs into his old companion Donna Noble, her daughter Rose, and husband Shawn. He tries to avoid contact as the last time he saw Donna, he needed to erase her memory of him to save her life after her DNA was combined with his Time Lord DNA. A spaceship soon crashes, which the Doctor goes to investigate. An escape pod lands near the Noble's residence and Rose meets an alien, The Meep who claims to be on the run from evil alien warriors.

Following UNIT's tracking of the escape pod, the Doctor shows up at the Noble's house, where Donna has discovered The Meep. The Doctor gets more information from The Meep, who says that Wrath Warriors are hunting the Meep for it's fur. The house is then attacked by both Wrath Warriors and UNIT soldier's who seem to be under alien control. While the two groups fight each other, the Doctor, the Nobles, and The Meep escape, but after noticing that the Wrath Warriors weapons deal only non-lethal damage he summons two to question them about the Meep.

The Warriors reveal that Meepkind were turned into evil world conquerors after their sentient sun went insane, and they seek to bring the remaining Meep to justice. The Meep drops it's cute facade and kills the warriors. The UNIT soldiers show up under the Meep's control and take them all to the Meep's ship, which will destroy the Earth upon takeoff. They escape capture and the Doctor goes to stop the ship, but Donna sends her family off and decides to go with him. As the Doctor works on disabling the ship, the room they are in is split in half. Knowing that it will kill Donna, he reactivates her memories, allowing her to help him stop the ship.

She grows weak and accepts her death, but then Rose appears, having been affected by her mother's reactivation and also has the knowledge of a Time Lord. The Doctor realizes that by having a child, Donna was able to share the burden put on her to a more survivable level. They defeat The Meep, who is taken into custody by the Wrath Warriors. Donna and Rose are able to release the Time Lord DNA, saving both their lives while Donna is able to retain her memories. The Doctor plans to take her to see her grandfather, but she spills coffee on the TARDIS console, causing them to fly to a mystery location.

75: The Next Doctor - 2008 Christmas Special: The Doctor lands in London on Christmas Eve, 1851 and meets a man who claims to be The Doctor investigating the Cybermen, who have been responsible for many missing children and murders, starting with the murder of a man named Jackson Lake. The other Doctor claims to be a future regeneration, but he has lost much of his memory and does not remember the 10th Doctor. The Cybermen and their human accomplice, Miss Hartigan, attack a funeral, where they kill most of the attendees but keep alive the owners of several warehouses and orphanages.

While investigating with the next Doctor, he sees that his "sonic screwdriver" is just a regular screwdriver and that his TARDIS is just a hot air balloon. They search the house of one of the Cybermen's victims and discover "infostamps", devices that the Cybermen use to store information. The next Doctor remembers holding one the night he lost his memory and regenerated. The Doctor finally deduces that the next Doctor is actually Jackson Lake. The Cybermen killed his wife and stole his child, but he managed to save himself by fighting them off with a damaged infostamp about the Doctor. The information also beamed into his head, and combined with the trauma of losing his family, caused him to forget his real life and take on the persona of the Doctor.

Miss Hartigan and the Cybermen have been using the stolen children to work in factories building a giant Cyber man warship, the Cyberking. Hartigan sits the throne and takes control of it and the Cybermen and begins to attack London. Lake goes to rescue the children, including his son, from the factory, while the Doctor takes his hot air balloon TARDIS. He uses the infostamps to reverse the conversion on Hartigan's mind and allow her to see what she's become. Her emotions overwhelm the Cybermen and self-destructs the Cyberking, which the Doctor teleports to the Time Vortex to safely disintegrate.

[quietwings-fics]

TARDIS Fuckery

Rating: General Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Fandom: Doctor Who Ship: MissyTARDIS Additional Tags: Squabbling, Humor, Sentient TARDIS, Meddling TARDIS Wordcount: 460 Summary:

If Missy is going to use the Doctor's TARDIS, then she has to deal with being messed with as the price.

Prompt:

"My rarepairs things today then: The Master (any incarnation) but partial to Delgado or Missy / the Doctor's TARDIS"

The TARDIS is used to thieves in the night. She revolves around them. Her thief and her river and her…

The TARDIS groans a discordant note throughout her console room. Missy tilts her head back to observe the engine whir spuriously in irritation. “Oh, please, I’m not even making trouble.”

If the TARDIS could speak, she would add a yet. She lets it show through buttons sticking beneath Missy’s fingers and levers that won’t pull. Missy huffs.

“I’m not!” she protests. “Scout’s honor!”

The TARDIS flickers to life one of her many screens. On this one, she lists every organization the Master has ever been a part of, scrolling quickly to cover her whole life. Notably missing is any form of scout troop. “Now you’re just being petty. I promise to send you right back where you came from.” Missy tries to pull another lever. It breaks off in her hand. She waves it at the TARDIS. “I’m trying to be nice!”

The TARDIS chuffs.

“Watch,” Missy mutters, rounding the TARDIS console and pointedly pressing her buttons. The TARDIS observes the read-out of her inputs closely. “This is me, setting your coordinates, and this is me, pushing the return switch to send you right back the moment I step out of your doors. Are you happy? Can I have a ride?”

Curious, the TARDIS rumbles, one part of her console glowing a soft pink. Missy makes a face.

“I don’t have to tell you why.”

The TARDIS shuts off all the lights.

“Fine! I lost my own TARDIS!” The lights, gradually, rise again. “You take me back to it, and we can forget this entire thing happened.” The screen flickers again. The TARDIS watches gleefully as Missy’s mouth falls open. The screen plays back her every action since entering. “Delete that! Don’t you dare! I’ll wipe you back to factory settings if I have to!”

The TARDIS, using what Missy tried to enter earlier, suddenly lurches into flight. Missy stumbles over.

“Why doesn’t he leave the-!” The TARDIS gives an extra hard jolt forward through the vortex, and Missy tumbles against the console, clutching on for dear life.

When they land, the TARDIS dings pleasantly.

“I hate you,” Missy mutters.

The TARDIS dings again, passive aggressively.

Missy picks herself up, straightens her dress, and tries to leave. The doors stick. She tugs harder, and they remain stubbornly shut. “What now?” The TARDIS doesn’t give her a single hint. She’s a TARDIS, and Missy’s a Time Lord. They have as long as they need for Missy to figure it out. Centuries, if that’s what it takes. The Doctor won’t even notice she’s gone.

Thankfully, Missy doesn’t take quite that long. Reluctantly, she grinds out a, “Thank you.”

The doors pop open.

(Enjoyed it? Any interaction is welcomed. You can even support me on Ko-Fi <3)

[alltheoutsinfreeeee]

I know very little about Dr who, who is Idris?

Okay, let me set the stage:

Ancient being who is eternally kind but also infinitely lonely due to being the only one left of their own kind, journeys through time with a spaceship that's also a time machine and (mostly) human companions.

The spaceship is called a TARDIS, Time And Relative Dimensions In Space, and has been established as sentient. Multiple TARDISes exist across the franchise, but the Doctor's TARDIS specifically looks like a blue police telephone box and is bigger on the inside. It's also a fact that, while sentient, the TARDIS has no way of communicating with words, she doesn't have an interface or anything.

The Doctor's companions inevitably leave for various reasons, be it death or stuck in other dimensions or just plain choosing to no longer travel with the Doctor. But the TARDIS was, is and will always be a constant.

Now, The Doctor's Wife features an enemy who feeds on TARDISes by ripping out the matrix/consciousness, stick it into a flesh body to burn out, and then consume the remaining energy with no intrusion.

When this happened to the Doctor's TARDIS, she was stuck into a woman called Idris. Barely anything is known about Idris before she became the TARDIS' vessel, so I use the name mainly for the TARDIS consciousness and TARDIS for the ship.

So the TARDIS shuts down because its matrix is gone and Idris is stuck in a too small body and the ability to form words. Tenses and linear time confuse greatly, to the point where even when alone she keeps speaking lines from conversations she will have later. There's also the issue of social norms.

Idris: You're my thief! Look at you! Goodbye-- no, not goodbye, what's the other one?

Doctor: Why am I a thief, what have I stolen?

Idris: Me, you're going to steal me, you have stolen me, you are stealing me-- Oh, tenses are difficult, aren't they?

Uncle: Just keep back from this one, she bites!

Idris: Do I? Excellent! (bites the Doctor)

Doctor: Ow! Owww!

Idris: Oh, biting's excellent! It's like kissing, only there's a winner!

Idris: It means the smell of dust after rain.

Rory: What does?

Idris: Petrichor.

Rory: But I didn't ask.

Idris: Not yet. But you will.

Things happen and it takes a while until the Doctor realizes that Idris is the TARDIS. And I've been trying for hours now to find the words but I genuinely think that I can only properly explain their dynamic by just showing it.

Suranne Jones did such a good job playing Idris. The whole episode is a delight, and then the ending hits. I have rewatched this episode at least 100 times now and I keep crying at that final scene. Like [gestures vaguely]. A madman and his box. They both stole each other and are each others' most faithful companions.

Amy: Look at you pair. It's always you and her, isn't it, long after the rest of us have gone.

Doctor: You say that as if it's a bad thing.

I basically just spoiled the whole episode but I genuinely cannot talk about why I love Idris without doing so. Taking what basically amounts to a plot device machine for the last 50 years and make her into her own character for one episode is genius.

TLDR: IDRIS = TARDIS CONSCIOUSNESS AND VERY GOOD CHARACTER, LOVE LOTS

[terranceholdsapencil]

So Ive watched Boom and initial thoughts

S14e03 "Boom" doctor who spoilers

-immediately knew these guys were dead.

-susan twist what are you doing in my ambulance

-killing someone because they'd take four weeks to recover is insane but also works great as the endpoint of capitalism

-casual reminder that I adore 15s theme. Its very different from other Doctor's themes but its lovely.

-skye boat song?!?! Two played that on his recorder back in the web of fear

-"One wrong move, and BOOM. I go all food mixer"

Great line, 10/10

-"everywhere is a beach eventually"

I hate that this made me think of Rose

-"Why, does a landmine have lights on it?" "*groans* capitalism" "Excuse me?" "Flashy lights play well in a showroom. Modern warfare. Death by salesmen"

This is just. Oxygen but instead of a space station its warfare. Jamie Mathieson basically wrote this already. But thats okay I will still eat it up

-lesbian gymkhana. Noice.

-"IiIm not even screaming yet"

THAT'S THE RIGHT ATTITUDE 🫵

-smelted :)

-"i was trying not to show off" well thats new cause you always show off

-"you are brave." "mm." "And you are wonderful. And I forgive you for being incredibly stupid"

Do you know what that reminded me off? The dead boy detectives staircase confession. Come on, you hear it too:

"Also, I cannot BeLIEve you would risk your entire existence coming down to this operatic horror show for me. That is so FUCKING stupid its unbelievable" "Sorry. No version of this where I didnt come get you, is there"

-"I went down to the beach, and there she stood, dark and tall, at the edge of the wood. The Sky´s too big; Im scared!, I cried, she replied: Young man, dont you know theres more to life than the moon and the president´s wife?"

Was she erm , was she nice, the presidents wife?

Ah, well, that was a lie put about by the shabogans. It was the presidents daughter. I didnt steal the moon, I lost i..

Id know you anywhere.

12 AND CLARA MENTIONED?!?!?

-"Life is cheap. Patients are expensive"

Just as I said. War oxygen. Theyre fighting the algorithm. And capitalism.

-"war is business, and business is booming"

-"and my name is the doctor ""the doctor isnt a name" "yeah. haha! And I not even a doctor."

Was the degree in cheesemaking a lie? What about the lego? Doctor, have you lied to me?

Medicine, science, engineering, candy floss, philosophy, music, problems, people, hope, and practically everything :(

-"Great name, Mundy Flynn. You should marry RUby, then you´ll be mundy sunday. Go on, get married, Id laugh every day."

NOW THATS MY TYPE OF HUMOUR 🫵‼️

-"Ive met sentient Mud. lovely girls. I mean grumpy, yeah, but you try lying around with your face full of mammals all day."

I thought of the morax from the witchfinders first but yeah lovely girls

-"im a much bigger bang than you bargained for.

im a lot more explosive than I look and honey, I know how I look."

Originallt I was just a fan of the first line but something about the doctor being in a very bad situation but going "Im hot af :)" is... lmao

-SNOW??? SNOW STOPPING MID AIR???

-"do you get-get-get it?"

-the way he said "girl" in "now you need proof, faith giArl?"

-DAD TO DAD???

I reallt liked the theory of Susan coming back but this might also hint at a general doctor-family thing. Maybe his child

-when everything worked out the soundtrack was the same as during the tardis reveal in the star beast. I had to stop the episode cause that score made me FEEL things. I could not the heck focus on 15 with this soundtrack on cause. Uhm.

....

Im so sorry but this tardis reveal is so so so SO special to me so playing the same music is actually vile. Because. No I wont be able to focus on the actual episode. I couldnt focus on the actual episode because 15 sang a song 2 played on his bloody recorder. You cant use a TARDIS REVEAL SCORE.

-"What happened" "well, its uh, its kind of hard to sum up. I think if I had a diary it would be a little bit too exiting for words. I think I could write it with drums. Can you write a diary with drums? I bet I could."

IS THIS A THOSCHEI REFERENCE?! 🗣🗣🗣

-the sky is like actually super pretty on kastarion 3

-"quite frankly, your life span sucks" HAHA

-"fish fingers and custard is mt favourite" FISH FINGERS AND CUSTARD?!

-"A sad, old man once told me. WHat survives of us is love."

-irs actually insane how happy the tardis "vworp vworp vworp" makes me. Everytime the tardis disappears I giggle like little kid.

-im sorry but the next ep is SO intriguing Im very excited for next week, more excited than thid one actually

[sgrumby]

“How can we breathe?”

“Force field,” Barry replies, his legs dangling over the rim of the TARDIS. “Keeps the bad guys out and the oxygen in. I, uh, wouldn’t be able to answer the phone without it.” He reaches up sheepishly and pops open the hatch on the door to reveal a rotary phone.

Lup gives him a look that he’s beginning to realise means she thinks he’s being tremendously stupid. “Why couldn’t you wire it in to the console? Or install a door so it opens from the inside, even?”

“Hey, have you seen that?” He changes the subject with his usual tact. “Look, wow, supernova.”

She grins and sits down next to him, kicking her feet in the vacuum of space. “It is pretty.”

“I should think so,” he grumbles. “Take a girl halfway across the universe and a million years back in time and all she can do is criticise my phone.”

“I’m just saying, I thought the Time Lords would’ve invented better phones! It’s rotary, Barry, it’s from the sixties!”

“It’s retro,” he insists. “It fits the police box aesthetic. Did you miss where it says PUBLIC CALL on the top?”

“Did you miss where it says PULL TO OPEN?”

“Shut up.”

“Why is it a police box, though?” She asks. “That seems… very sixties. You’d be right at home with my gran.”

“Chameleon circuit got stuck,” he says. “She’s designed to change her outside to blend in. I could fix it but, honestly, I like the blue. Plus, uh, it used to be real hard to find the door on a rock or a tree or - if there was nothing else around sometimes she’d materialise as a blade of grass, or whatever, and then I couldn’t even get out. I’m not sure if she was messing with me, or if she was designed to do that, or - it’s just easier this way.”

“It’s nice, actually,” she says. “Comforting, somehow. It feels sturdy. I can’t imagine it as a rock or a tree.”

He pats the floor next to him, and the engines go dwummmm. “She used to be different inside, too. All white and sterile. She had these big roundels - it was really weird. I don’t know who designed the UI, but it wasn’t good. As soon as I figured out how to redecorate I got on it.”

“You designed the coral?” Lup hadn’t really questioned the organic-looking arches and pillars. They’d been low on her list of priorities when she’d found herself in a time machine, and then the question had just fallen by the wayside.

“Well, I mean, I gave her a brief. I wanted it to feel more comfy, you know? This is my home, not a science lab. Well, it’s a lab, a little bit, but it’s - you know what I mean.”

“Wait, wait, gave her a brief?” Lup looks back in at the console, with its mess of wires and mismatched switches and knobs. She’d assumed that was the result of a few decades of Barry conducting haphazard repairs, but now he mentions it, they do look a little like some kind of sophisticated nervous system. “How sentient is this ship, exactly?”

Barry pulls a face, hesitates, and shrugs. “I dunno.”

“What!”

“Well, like, I told you that she’s soulbound, so she’s intelligent to some extent. I have a degree of control over the interior, and - I always kind of feel like she is. Like, I can do everything right on the console, and I’ll find myself halfway across the universe from where I asked her to go.”

“That’s a broken satnav, Barry, not sentience.”

“But it’s always where I need to go,” he elaborates. “Like, there’ll be someone who needs help, or a distress call, or something neat to go and see. Like this! This supernova. I’ve never been here before, and I basically just told the TARDIS that I wanted to show you something ro - something cool.”

He blushes at his slip, but Lup’s wrapped up in her thoughts.

“So, what, you just said “make me something comfy” and she made big coral pillars?”

“It’s a little more elaborate than that, but yeah, pretty much. I don’t know either, really. She’s… eccentric.”

“And the car seats?”

Barry shrugs again. “No idea. I needed somewhere to sit, that’s what I got.”

Lup hums, unhappily. “Can she see us? Feel us? I don’t like the idea that we’re walking around inside a sentient being.”

“I don’t think she minds. She can lock you out, if she likes. One regeneration I got a haircut she didn’t like and she wouldn’t let me in til it grew out. I was trapped on Gorvon Six for months.” The engine makes another dwummm noise, and Barry scowls. “It’s not funny!”

Lup can’t help but laugh at the expression on his face. “The more I learn the more I realise who’s in charge here.”

“I’m in charge!” He protests. “I’m a Time Lord! You know they used to grow TARDISes like bonsai? In little pots?”

“Oh, you’re getting pushed around by a bonsai?”

“I’m gonna go find Taako,” Barry grumbles. “Maybe he’ll be polite and respectful.”

Lup gives him a look.

“Okay, yeah, fine,” he concedes.

She laughs again and turns back to the star, gleaming brilliantly before them. The light plays across her face, reddy-orange, making her hair seem to glow and her eyes seem to sparkle.

Barry’s seen beauty in the universe. He’s seen nebulae, the births of stars, watched the sunrise on Heloyus, which orbits in a complex path between thirty different suns and, once every ten thousand years, sees a simultaneous thirty-sun sunrise. And yet, somehow, watching Lup…

“Want to grab pizza?” He offers.

“Shit, yes,” she grins. “Alien pizza?”

“Future pizza,” he counteroffers, jumping up from the floor of the TARDIS. “November 18th, 2045. The restaurant opened that day and burned down the next, but it’s the best pizza I’ve ever had. I pretty much singlehandedly earned them their money back, cos I keep parking the TARDIS in different places and ordering takeaway. You should see the look on the delivery guy’s face every time he sees me and my enormous blue box in a different area of London, all on one night.” He holds a hand out to help her up, and she takes it gladly.

“How do you order takeaway! You don’t have an address!”

“I just tell them the street,” he says. “It’s not like there’s a lot of blue boxes lying around.”

She considers that for a second. “Okay, yeah, that’s fair, I guess. What’s your order? Hawaiian?”

He narrows his eyes, hands frozen above the console. “How did you know that?”

“Shot in the dark. You seem like you’d go nuts for pineapple on pizza, is all.”

“What does that mean?”

“Alien tastebuds,” she says with a shrug. “I’ll grab Taako.”

“So rude,” he murmurs, and flips a switch on the console, setting the rotors whirring once again as Lup skips out of the room.