#she is a consistent advocate that whenever I get into a relationship

[hidefdoritos]

I uh. Pulled a high schooler out of a pond today?

I was watching ducks at the local park with a friend. A guy was fishing off the dock and his pole blew into the water. He was hanging from the railing to grab the pole with his feet, but it was so windy and he just slid down the railing. He was up to his waist in deep water, and who knows if he could swim?

I called out and ran over. It was pretty simple: hand the rod up to me, then help move him over until he could get his feet onto the concrete piling, then a little heave-ho and up he came. I'm glad I keep an emergency towel in my car, because it was cold and windy.

Anyway that was eventful. Idk how to sum this up. Advocate for third spaces, watch out for each other, and always know where your towel is.

[formulawolff]

"keep 'em comin'" - m.v.

pairing: girl best friend!reader x max verstappen

word count: 2.3k

warnings: alcohol consumption, light marijuana usage, cussing, max munching on some cooter! (that will come later in the fic), enemies to friends to lovers, typical men behavior (being creepy in a bar), mentions of physical threats, kelly slander, THINGS ARE MESSY BETWEEN KELLY AND MAX (so if y'all don't like light infidelity/gray areas then don't read) yadayadayada (y'all already know the vibes)

a/n: hellllloooo! <3 this is my first time writing for max so if this isn't quite like him, i apologize in advance. this fic is based off of a request and i had to write about it since i've been feral for max (he finally took off that damned cap!) this may end up as a two or three part series. we'll see, we'll see!

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺

"i see the decrepit hag decided to let you out of her clutches tonight. congratulations for being able to be out and about in public without her breathing down your neck!"

the figure standing to your left scoffs, muttering a few incoherent words under his breath. he slides into the booth, propping his chin up with a hand. the other finds the glistening glass, a bead of condensation rolling down, pooling onto the rigid table.

"about that."

"what about it?" you arch a brow, lips connecting with the rim of your own drink, "max, did something happen before you left?"

he shrugs, brows pinching together as he sips on his mixed drink, a decadent yet smooth concoction of his favorite liquors blended together, "it's nothing serious."

"max," setting your glass down, you lean forward ever so slightly, his name louder than normal over the overwhelming mixture of voices and volume, "what. happened."

"oh you know," he waves a hand, careful not to meet your piercing gaze, "she's upset that i was going out to see you. that's all."

the moment max mentioned her, you knew exactly who she was.

she was kelly piquet. max verstappen's beloved wag. the woman who scooped him up the moment that clock struck midnight on his eighteenth birthday.

the woman you loathed more than anyone in the world.

but you wouldn't tell max that.

after all, you couldn't. the pair had been dating for quite some time. and although max wouldn't say it outright, you were well aware that she was not going anywhere anytime soon.

no matter how much the two fought. no matter how much she wanted to make your relationship with max as strained as possible.

your friendship with max had a rocky start. tumultuous, even. the two of you met when you were both seventeen, as your parents were mutual friends. since max was involved in racing, and you aimed to pursue professional photography, max's father suggested that the two of you get to know one another.

of course, at that time, the last thing teenage max wanted was some nerdy girl following him around. especially when there were other teenage boys involved. cool teenage boys who enjoyed to fuck around with fast machinery.

he teased you relentlessly, tormenting you whenever he could. he ridiculed your photographic abilities, scorning the prints or slideshows you provided. often times, he stated that your pictures were, "absolute shit" and your clip compilations "were not going to get you anywhere in formula one."

of course, you matched his energy. after all, you weren't going to take anyone's shit. you knew you had to advocate for yourself. you weren't going to make it in the industry if you weren't assertive.

eventually, your snapshots landed you a job at red bull. well, max did have a part to play in that.

after a couple of years, the dutch driver apologized for the way he treated you at the time, requesting a truce. the truce would consist of you sticking around as his personal media manager.

in turn, he would promote your work to the world of formula one and assist you in your way up the ladder in any way he could. he would land your sponsorships. he would chip in some cash here and there to get you more advanced software or equipment.

the only stipulation was that you had to follow him.

everywhere and anywhere he went. every event. every interview. every grand prix.

no. matter. what.

of course, with the stakes involved, you knew it was too good of a deal to refuse. with max's rise to prominence in formula one, you knew it was now or never.

so, you accepted his offer.

oh jos verstappen, what a bastard you were.

cause now, here you were in vegas, sitting across from the man you loved. well, the man you were in love with.

hopelessly and utterly in love with.

"that isn't unusual for her," you scoff, hands reaching for your purse, "i do have something that could lighten the mood!"

"and that is?" max's gaze follows your hand, making note of the delicately wrapped joint between your fingers.

"my friend mary jane!"

"you of all people know i shouldn't be smoking," the dutch driver shakes his head, yet proceeds to scoot out of the booth anyway, "i'll still come out there with you. i won't be taking any hits though."

"yeah, yeah," you wave a hand, "that's what they all say."

as you slip out of the booth, you feel max's hand connect with your lower back, almost guiding you through the throng of locals. a few of them chirp greetings to max, others chattering, creating a buzz within the air.

well, there went any sort of anonymity.

so much for keeping a low profile for the weekend.

yet, when in vegas, that was almost impossible to maintain. especially when you were a man of max's caliber.

the two of you manage to slip out, just before fans started asking for autographs. of course, max obliged to a few, signing a cap here and an arm there.

even though it was quickly approaching december, the air was mild, dipping in the low fifties. max hovers to your right, shuddering as a breeze rolls through. you curse as it quenches your flame, motioning for max to stand closer.

"can you shield me for a moment, pretty boy?"

"pretty boy?"

from the way the words tumbled from his mouth, max seemingly was not to keen to the idea of being referred to as pretty boy. yet, he inches even closer to you, providing a barrier as the lighter comes to life, igniting your delicate pre-roll.

"what else should i call you?" shrugging, you exhale, the smoke billowing into the night, "or do you prefer world champion?"

"how much did you have to drink before i got here?" the dutch driver cocks his head, his stare almost picking you apart.

"enough," you respond, lips curling into a devious grin, "don't act like you didn't like that."

"i did," he counters, "that's the issue here."

"and why is that an issue?"

"because we used to fucking despise one another. we used to tear one another apart. and now here i am, going out for drinks with you when i shouldn't be. here i am, looking forward to your texts or your snaps when i know i should be thinking about someone else.

fuck, even when i'm with her, my mind wanders to you. we're together all of the fucking time yet i crave you. i miss you when we're apart. what are you doing to me?"

before your mind can even formulate a coherent response, an individual saunters up to the two of you, drinks in hand.

it's an older man, approximately in his early or mid fifties. he's balding, as a few of the greasy hairs were poorly combed over. he was well dressed, but poorly groomed, as there was quite the scruff plaguing his feautures.

"good evening," his words are directed towards you, yet you couldn't help but notice the way his eyes were fixated on your joint, "i was wondering if the pretty lady could exchange a hit or two for a-"

"she's not accepting shit from you," max's voice is low, the driver taking another half step toward you, almost to shield you even further.

"c'mon man," the man drawls, the words slurred, "i wasn't fucking speakin' to ya. i was talkin' to her."

"and i'm talking to you," max's jaw clenches, "get the fuck out of here."

"and you are?" the man arches a brow, "surely not her boyfriend."

"actually i am," the words are forced through gritted teeth, the driver's fists clenched to his sides, "i'm her fiancé. i suggest you leave before i-"

"got it," the man exhales, rolling his eyes, "it was worth a shot. what the fuck ever man."

as he turns to head back towards the bar, you feel fingers find yours, intertwining together. max squeezes your hand gently, "are you okay?"

"fiancé?" relief ripples as you notice his demeanor crumble, "what was that all about? were you manifesting something or-"

"come on," max tugs at your hand, "let's go to another place. get a few more drinks. keep 'em comin'. keep the alcohol flowin', you know?"

"max," clicking your tongue, you frown as your realize your joint was burnt out, "what is going on between you and kelly?"

"i don't want to talk about her right now," the driver won't even look at you, keeping his focus on the glow and ambiance of the city, "we can talk about anything else but her. please. i don't even want to think about her right now. shouldn't you be relieved? why aren't you relieved?"

"because you look stressed the fuck out!" you retort, "and it stresses me out because i love you and i can't handle seeing you all bummed about some hag who is only using you!"

max freezes, your hand flying up to your mouth. heat floods your cheeks, heart thudding against your rib-cage as you realize what just came pouring from your mouth.

"did you just tell me that you love me?"

his voice is soft. dangerously low. merely a whisper, barely audible over the bustling noise of vegas.

tears well up, shame setting your body ablaze as you nod, biting your lower lip, "y-yeah. and i know i shouldn't-"

"shut the fuck up," hands meet with your cheeks, bringing you in close, "just shut the fuck up and come here."

in that moment, max's mouth finds yours. the kiss is tender, brimmed with nothing but passion, breathing life back into your lungs. it was grounding yet exhilarating, waves of euphoria crashing over.

he pulls away, forehead brushing against yours, "why haven't i done this sooner?"

"because kelly-"

"i don't give a fuck about kelly right now."

"give a fuck about me then," you murmur against his mouth, relishing the way his hands explore, roaming along your back, trailing down to your ass, "you think we should take this somewhere more private? before someone snaps a photo of max verstappen making out with his media manager?"

"that's a good idea," he nods, "i'll arrange an uber."

although it was merely minutes in the time it took between getting into the uber and making it to your hotel room, it felt like an eternity. yet, with the way max's hand gripped your thigh the entire drive, you didn't complain. the other hand held onto yours, pressing gentle kisses to your knuckles.

if only this was your everyday life.

if only things were different.

if only he fell in love with you first.

once the two of you were in the elevator, he maintained his composure, as there were other people stepping in and out. there was even a little boy, in awe that his favorite driver was staying in the same hotel as him. max was kind enough to gift him one of his beaded bracelets, a small memento from a win during the 2022 season.

if only that child knew what his favorite driver was really up to.

once that light on your keypad flashed green, his mouth was on yours, tongue gliding along your lower lip, practically begging for access. his hands were all over, tugging on your clothes, desperate to see what was underneath.

"fuck," there's a rumble in his chest as he lays on you on the bed, pinning you to the mattress.

"what?" you can't help but wriggle a little, slightly flustered by the intensity of his gaze.

"you have no idea how much i've thought about this," a dusty rose hue tinges his cheeks, "i-i almost don't know what to do now. i've thought about it so frequently that i had it down to every little detail. and now i have you here, right where i want you but i feel like i'm going to fuck this up and-"

"max," tender fingers sweep locks of hair from his forehead, "do what you feel is right."

"i just want to show you how much i love you. i need you to know how loved you are."

"i think i have an idea," the tip of your nose brushes against his, "is there anything i can do to help?"

"will you let me taste you?"

instinctively, your hips buck forward, legs spreading so that he can have access. you can feel his cock stiffen in his pants, pressing against your inner thigh, aching for some sort of relief.

"yes," you nod, "you can taste me."

"f-fuck," his jaw nearly goes slack as you guide his hand through the waistband of your panties, the pad of his index finger circling your clit, "you're this wet for me? already? my poor baby. all soaked and desperate for me."

"m-max," the way his name falls from your lips is intoxicating, "i need you."

"are you sure this is okay?" he pauses, eyes meeting with yours, "if at any moment you need me to stop, just tell me."

"you are more than okay. i promise."

fingers delicately unbutton your jeans, rolling them down your legs. in the process, you peel off your hoodie and shirt, tossing them to the floor.

just the mere sight of you half-dressed had him coming undone, his inhibitions slipping away by the second. fuck, you were so stunning. someone who deserved to be worshipped and cherished.

far more beautiful than he could have ever imagined.

situating himself between your legs, max's mouth roams, placing wet kisses all over your inner thighs, hips, and abdomen. his tongue flattens against your heated core, savoring the way you squirmed under his touch.

"you need me to taste you baby?" he coos, cocking his head.

"yes," you plead, skin hot to the touch, your clit engorged, folds slick with juices.

"hmmm," he hums, hands grasping your thighs to spread you open further.

"once i get these off of you, you're all mine. and only mine. got that?"

yet, there was one thing that happened to slip max verstappen's mind that night in vegas.

well, one woman.

the woman he referred to as his girlfriend, but the woman he was not in love with.

kelly piquet.

[hadesoftheladies]

choice feminists consistently misattribute insult. feminist analysis is often taken to be infantilization, and doing so ironically shows a lack of maturity. but by far the most insidious thing about choice feminism is how it perverts the concept of empowerment to the point that women go to war fighting for dogshit treatment. they conflate being respected like a man with being like a man, which totally masks the fact that they are ritualistically disempowering themselves in an eternally rigged game.

bdsm choice feminists will say "pain gives me pleasure and i'm an adult!" and yet your male dom hisses and whines when he feels even the tiniest scrape of your teeth on his member. why does men's pleasure centre around their comfort? is he not empowered because he hasn't rationalized and eroticized his discomfort? why are you the exception?

christian choice feminists will say "i have a right to worship whomever i want" and yet your fellow male observers froth at the mouth whenever god is referred to as she. you see male as neutral and male and female as equal, yet your male leaders consistently do not. female is sexual or domestic. they can't stomach calling a metaphysically transcendent being she. why is "she" the exception? why are female biblical heroes exceptions?

muslim choice feminists will say "i get to wear the hijab" and yet male observers are not treated as inherently provocative for existing. why are you the exception?

female rappers or celebrities and women like them that dress in exceedingly impractical and revealing outfits say "my body my choice" and yet their more powerful and rich counterparts never have to do any of that on the red carpet or in their music videos. why are they the exception?

tradwives will say "it's my right to marry" and it is, but why do so few men marry without an education or job? why are they never told to do it young or quit their jobs to raise their kids? why is no man advocating for men's right to be stay-at-home dads? why are you the exception?

pro-makeup choice feminists will say "i choose to do this for fun!" and yet male counterparts have never once felt a need to shave or decorate their faces to minimize facial "flaws." they can walk anywhere, attend any party or job, without any performance or effort outside of hygiene and basic decorum. why are you the exception?

anti-separatist choice feminists will say "i have a right to pursue romantic relationships with men" and yet the men in their dating pool have zero interest in romance itself and pursue women for very different reasons. they don't risk their lives to date you, neither do they tolerate disrespect or disagreement with whoever they're dating. they don't allow themselves to be talked down to. they don't tolerate anyone they don't find exceedingly attractive unless they want a quick fuck. they don't patty-cake their opinions or tone police themselves or praise women for being women or fanboy about female sex characteristics, especially not for women they don't know. they don't defend the integrity of women. why are you the exception?

instead of asking this question, most of them would rather say that it is feminists that are insulting and infantilizing them for pointing out the way they are being insulted and infantilized by men via femininity and the performance of female socialization.

which makes it ironic. because it is immature for an adult to refuse to reflect on their choices. it is immature for an adult to invest in something they have been told time and time again is unstable and rife with fraud with poor returns. holding onto things that harm you because of peer pressure is something we hopefully outgrow post highschool. it is immature to believe something based on unsubstantiated evidence. to refuse to examine something potentially harmful simply because it gives you comfort.

i'm not going to be complicit in validating women's internalized masochism and misogyny because i refuse to agree with any patriarch on what a woman is or should be.

[athyathye]

hi athy!! can i req some hcs for mikey actually dating akabane!reader. feel free to ignore this if you have other plans for the series. stay safe and take care <3 much love !!

Mikey dating Akabane! Reader

Author's note 📝: oooh~ fun

Warnings ⚠️: Mentions of explosives, crude words and beating people up.

❥  A whole ass recipe for disaster.

❥  Pairing Akabane! Reader and Mikey together is like pairing a grenade to a gun. Nothing good will come out of you both dating. Well not for the rest of the people in the world anyways.

❥ You wouldn’t be apart of his gang, but you would be affiliated with them. Kind of like a hidden weapon.

❥  The others could never predict whatever crime you both were going to commit each day. You’d play as the devil’s advocate while Mikey would be the devil’s incarnate. Both of you were way worse than having Baji in a mood.

❥  The relationship was anything but romantic. It would be loud, crazy, frightful, abominable….toxic. But it would be incredibly fun experiencing. Totally unpredictable and joyous. The type you’d never forget and would always find yourself reminiscing over it.

❥  I could go on to say, that you both related to each other a little too much. And that it led to both of you using each other for comfort.

❥  It wasn’t healthy, but goddamn was it addicting.

A day in your relationship would consist of pure absurdness. At least once a day, Mikey would either barge into your school unannounced or at your home. He didn’t care about time. He only cared about meeting you whenever he felt like it.

Mikey’s head was in your lap. You were stroking his hair as he happily told you all of the things he did with the gang today. He looked so cute and child-like in your arms that you couldn’t resist.

“Geez, one of these days I might put you to jail myself.”

Teasing him that is. You laughed as his once brightly shining chibi face turned to one of distaste. Sourness evident in his eyes as he squinted them towards you.

“Put me to jail, and I’ll make sure you stay in there longer than me” He uttered as he turned his back on you, but still lying on your lap.

“Look at those annoying pests. Not even as tired as us even if they beat like hundreds of delinquents. Still don’t get what she meant by ‘deliquent season’ though.” Draken scornfully said, having to be the unlucky person to escort and supervise the couple.

“I wish I had their stamina.” Mitsuya said as he clutched his still aching arm. It was a new record for him. A new record of how many punches he did just this morning.

Your eye twitched as you pushed Mikey’s head off of you. “I feel like somebody’s talking sh*t about me.”

“Can’t blame them. You’re annoying.” He cooed with a smile as he squished your cheeks in retaliation. All he got back as a reply was your facial expression that said ‘You’re one to talk’

“Now I’m back to being bored…” He murmured with a fake sullen look. Looking at you with puppy eyes that you reciprocated.

“Awwe, little doggy wants to go out and play? Wanna go for a walk? Dog.” A face you usually showed the people you disliked was thrown towards him. But to Mikey, every face you made was as pretty and provocative as the rest. Nothing beats your genuine smile though.

“It’s Draken who holds our leash. And you know...you’re not half-wrong. I’m only a dog for you.” Indeed he was. He’d follow whatever you say in a heartbeat. No matter how serious the situation. He’d happily wag his tail in front of you.

“Then bark.”

“Hey” He said as if he didn't break the window from your room. He climbed in like he did hundreds of times already. Watching you brush your fine hair only in your nightwear.

“No meetings today?” you asked him, leaning your elbows on the table in front of you as you leaned your head against it. He walked closer to your figure, his hand pushing against your head to make you lean on his chest instead.

You looked up, seeing him fiddling your hair before he leaned down, pressing a kiss to your forehead. It was only at private times like these that he was so romantic towards you. You could feel his hot breath dance against your forehead.

Closing your eyes, you let him do whatever he wanted. His lips hovered against yours, you automatically leaned up more, but as you did, you were met with cold air.

Opening your eyes you saw him giving you a cheeky look instead. Though make no mistake, his eyes were still fixated on your lips.

“Fine, be like that. I’ll kick you out.” You murmured in mock irritation which made him laugh. Ah yes. Nights with Mikey are the best.

“Ah, don’t be mad.” He said with a laugh. Turning you around, putting his hands in between the armrest of your swivel chair. Caging you in, lowering his forehead to meet yours.

“I’ll give you something better than a kiss.” He bribed. You turned your head away from his with force.

“No, I don’t want it anymore.”

“Oh come on, I’ll do anything~”

Anything? Oh my. Mikey knew better than to ever let those words slip in front of you. HE seemed to realize this fact as well as he froze. Rigid in your mercy, your hands roamed around his body while clicking your tongue.

“That’s very tempting, Sano. I’ll take up that offer” You said in a low voice. Standing up before forcefully pushing him away from you. Making him land on your soft carpeted floors.

“You better thank god my parents are never home” Mikey really hated it when you acted like a minx. Teasing him by pulling him in the pushing him out once he adds pressure. Oh the horrors of today will be forever etched in his mind.

You got something from your closet, he could see the thin white fabric, oh gosh how he detested the sight of it.

“Put it on.” You threw numerous types of fabrics at him. Each making him feel more and more depressed.

That was how Mikey found himself wearing a maid dress for the rest of the night.

[ravenadottir]

what do you think the characters would be doing after the show/how would they be using their platform? for example, i think lottie would be using hers to give people astrology readings and stuff and i think the season 3 mc would be sooo problematic online

ok but you know what? definitely! s3 mc would be causing the stir she wanted to in the villa and couldn't. i'm almost certain she would be raging and saying absurd things to get attention, something like gabby hana you know? BIG YIKES.

one thing is certain... all of them (purposely or not) would be making thirst traps... and definitely supporting masks and registering to vote. so that's a certainty for almost all of them.

lottie. witchtok constantly. not necessarily giving readings but she would be an apologist and majority on that tag. her instagram would be split into two accounts: one for her personal endeavours like thirst traps and *looks of the day*, and a second for her brand as a makeup artist/personal stylist. cause i think that would be so fucking cool! lottie knows how to perpetuate her personal brand and would use social media for that as well. here's some edits i did in the past to explain it better. i headcanon a collab with elisa for wigs that they would both wear on social media, so that's something i really like! plus, advocating for women's rights, especially when a male politician says something dumb, so you know, EVERY SINGLE DAY.

bobby. in the middle of the pandemic? can't help thinking he would be doing some humorous videos, but in my head they're not the funny type. just some cringey ones... don't get me wrong, but bobby is only funny when he's not trying to, and in social media he strikes me as the type that not only makes videos but also puts the towel over his head to play a girl, so that's probably the majority of his content. some food of course, and DEFINITELY some *cute* selfies that he knows it works as thirst traps. i think he talks about registering to vote and blm, but doesn't give his opinion on anything else, politics wise. here's bobby's feed for the rest.

gary. i'm not thrilled to inform that gary would be thirst trapping all the time. now that he's relatively famous there's no reason why not posting those pics and videos. between tik tok trends to show off his muscles, and instagram to... well, do that exact same thing, he might take some time to show nan and the soup kitchen, but overall... thirst traps. possibly being blunt about masks and registering but his content is very closed off. also, he will get a dog and encourage people to adopt. there's a lot of pranks on dicky and vice versa, so that's something i thought for his social media, just couldn't find a good faceclaim that has a variety of pics.

lucas. mostly bringing awareness about covid and the use of masks, probably pointing it out a couple of political disputes, and definitely advising people to be careful about their votes all around the world. i like to think he's a huge advocate for legalization of a certain practice that women have to beg to have (you know the one), and i think he knows exactly how to make a thirst trap without making one. stop asian hate and blm carrds present, and often giving his followers the incentive to donate. DEFINITELY 'look of the day' for at least the weekend, and lots and lots of landscape from the places he's been visiting or wishing to.

henrik. he's everywhere and he takes his phone to talk about it. no doubt henrik is having the time of his life by travelling alone, or with his wife, and doing lives at all times. i think you would see him doing lives in the middle of the night, or watching the sunset/sunrise with his followers, besides making his *questionable* forest foraging and recipes. survival videos? MOST LIKELY THAN YOU THINK. here's his social media, where i covered mostly of what his relationship would like on instagram. (heavily based off "beyond the hill").

carl. the amount of rpg on his stories? immaculate. chess? you bet! lots and lots of carl's launchings for his company, which does have a separate account but he can't quite separate himself from it and it shows on his feed. his relationship would be discreetly displayed with cryptic captions since he's not so sentimental. here's his feed with some personal things he would be encouraged to post and boost that confidence of his.

anon that asked for more hannah stuff, this is for you:

hannah. i have one for her because i do like her aesthetic. don't mind the faceclaim, it was the only one i could find in so many situations. horses, books, some *cute* selfies, travelling pics and more. on tiktok definitely booktok, no doubt about it. she might do a lot of the "telling the story of my book as a story time" trend to promote it and say "technically it's real life."

elisa. it's all about branding and she knows how to do it well! some influencers might not get political because of how they can be perceived but i think elisa doesn't give a flying fuck about that. she talks often about blm and vaccines on her stories. i get a jackie aina vibe from her when talking about brands that support/encourage dark skin models and influencers, so that's a plus. she will give shit to a makeup brand that doesn't care for shade range and won't hide her feelings about it. here's her usual feed, with looks and tours (that i'm certain she would do a lot). i also think she'll eventually cave and have a brand of wigs, clothes and makeup, AS SHE SHOULD.

hope. there's no question about her activism on social media and i like to imagine she would be speaking up against anti-vaxxers and racism, mostly. just like yewande, she would probably talk about every time she felt the show might've favoured people that don't look like her. we would be getting the hot tea on everything since she's so honest. there's also lots of looks and promoting her friends' products because she supports them so much. priya's clothing line, elisa x lottie collab, etc. here's the feed i made for her a while ago.

chelsea. she might not be that deep into politics but she'll talk about covid and how people should be more careful about it, "wearing all these cute masks my babes lozza made for us!". LOTS of *look of the day* and tours on the spaces she decorates, besides the behind the scenes of parties and weddings (of ex-islanders) that i know she would throw. her feed also includes her closet, supporting her friends' endeavours and promoting them, besides some random mug collection shots and FOR SURE a pug selfie with mc.

priya. there's not much to say except for the occasional thirst trap (with those amazing thigh, ffs she should), lots of vaccine warnings, definitely political anecdotes and her clothing brand. i love to think she would have an actual boutique once things get settled after covid, and she would use social media to promote every line. her feed consists mostly of her travelling, designs, supporting the girls and her photoshoots.

kassam. lots and lots of backstage photos and that *prickly* way of demanding people to use their brains and wear a mask, besides getting the vaccine. in studio or just before the stage, selfies with a clothing line with his logo and definitely pics with islanders he didn't get to meet but is now friends with. during covid he would be using his lives to play for his followers, like lots of dj's and musicians i've seen doing on reddit and tiktok, probably called "late night music" or something like that. encouraging followers to donate for causes as well.

noah. not so huge on social media, might be the most discrete of them all. there would be lots and lots of pictures of the mornings before he opens the library, because i sincerely think he would keep his job. not the most outspoken about certain matters but carrds like the blm's and 'stop asian hate''s are on all of his bio's. i do like to imagine him taking selfies with the boys from the show, like ibrahim. he would be so present in noah's feed it's not even funny. the casual "cute unintentional" thirst trap too. family photos from ages ago and lots of his siblings as well. he does love to write long captions for whenever he posts his girlfriend. one thing though, during the first few months on the outside, he wouldn't be so present, afraid of facing the bashing on him if he got with mc in the show. that could be a reason for him to stay away until people "forget" about it.

marisol. SO - MANY - SUITS - SELFIES it makes me cry happy tears. between advocating for women's rights in a more technical way, she would definitely be using her platform to also talk about lgbtq+, especially after the realization she had during her journey. lots and lots of activism about those things, and i think she would be doing a fine job. definitely promoting the girls' products/services and an occasional thirst trap with a braless suit look.

rocco. covidiot. (i just wanted to use this nickname one more time). he might get a hard time from followers and villa buddies because of his stance on vaccines. i just hope he reads some articles instead of sharing bibity-bobity-bullshit on facebook and instagram. there's lots of vaccine memes on his comment sections no matter what he posts though. it's gonna take a while for the public to move on.

[skullsandwineglasses]

Arsenal Military Academy (2019) Full Review

My first impressions of episodes 1-13 can be found here. I think I was a little dubious at first, but now that I’ve finished the drama, I have to say that I really enjoyed it. This is going to be a short(ish) review because I just don’t have much to complain about. [SPOILERS AHEAD]

The Leads

Xu Kai shines as Gu Yanzhen. Much more than he did as Mo Qing in The Legends. Gu Yanzhen is just such a fun character. While yes, he is an overgrown and spoiled rich kid, he has a great character arc. He learns how to be responsible, caring, devoted, and considerate. Whether it’s love or serving his country, once he’s devoted to something, he’ll put his whole heart into it, which makes him a great friend and leader. And despite his maturation and all that he’s been through, he still stays cheeky and playful until the end. 

That’s what I really like about this drama. It’s consistent. Both in terms of plot and character. And for cdramas, consistency is something that’s often butchered. This drama is 48 episodes long, which was perfect for developing all the plot points in the story. At first I was worried about the length. But the plot is so well-paced. There was no filler, and if there was, then I didn’t even noticed because I enjoyed all of the scenes and interactions between the characters. 

Bai Lu was great at switching between cross-dressing as her brother, and being her “true” self. She carried off being both masculine and feminine, and I enjoyed seeing these two sides of her character. What I also appreciated about this drama is how even when she is revealed to be a girl, nothing really changes in terms of how she acts or how she’s treated by others. Her classmates still call her by her brother’s name. She wears the same clothes, talks the same, walks the same. Of course, by that point, most people have already found out, but for the characters who haven’t found out yet, they don’t dwell on this revelation. They don’t say sexist things about her appearance or mannerisms. They treat her the same as they always have. At first, I was worried that the drama would have a dramatic plot shift after her identity is officially revealed, but there wasn’t a shift. Her reveal was actually not that big of a plot point. (Yes, she was put in prison and accused of killing the chief, but this was resolved in like 2-3 episodes). It blended in seamless with the rest of the plot, and there were bigger issues in the story to address. 

In my First Impressions review, I complained that Xie Xiang was a bit of a flat character. I still think she’s a little underwhelming in comparison to some of the other characters in the drama, but she was watchable and relatable, and she definitely grew on me more as the drama went on. I also applaud her for recognizing her feelings for Gu Yanzhen (I was worried that the drama would make her be conflicted between them), but she did frustrate me a little with how she couldn’t be upfront with Shen Junshan and just strung him along. 

Again, I liked seeing the different sides of her character. Xie Xiang was never a tomboy growing up. She likes theatre and the arts. She likes acting, dancing, and singing. She likes dressing up and accessorizing (when appropriate). Her best friend, Tan Xiao Jun, acts as a foil and shows us what Xie Xiang is really like (or used to be before joining the academy). But her brother was a huge influence and inspiration for her. She learned how to fight from him. She learned what is means to be righteous and fight for justice from him. But she doesn’t want to become him; she just wants to fulfill his dreams. In the academy, she isn’t the best student, nor does she want to be. She doesn’t want to compete with the others, but she just wants to best the best cadet that she can be. It’s all about challenging herself and pushing her own limits, not comparing herself to everyone else in the class.  

Supporting Characters

All of the secondary characters are great. Side characters and villains all served a unique purpose. Villains, such as Jin Xin Rong and the bully in the academy, were sympathetic characters. They all had their own backstories and development arcs, but they didn’t detract from the focus on the leads. In fact, the drama never strayed from the leads, unlike some cdramas were sometimes the focus would move away from the protagonists as the drama dragged on. Importantly, all the subplots were interwoven, and each mission that they completed progressed the plot and developed character relationships. I had a lot of praise for Qu Manting in my First Impressions review, so I won’t go into it again here, but she was a great second female lead (even though I did wish that she had less scenes with Gu Yanzhen). I was also surprised that she’s my age (and also Xu Kai’s age). She’s such a mature and steady actor. 

Edit: Just found out that Toby Lee who played Shen Junshan was the guy in Soulmate?? Didn’t recognize him at all. 

Plot

I loved the humour in this drama. It was quick, witty, and smart. But the drama did take a serious turn in the last arc where there were deaths of 3 prominent supporting characters, which was really surprising. I thought the drama would be a light-hearted comedy all the way through. So when I saw that it was possible for a prominent supporting character to die, I realized that there could be some real and serious consequences for characters in the drama. 

Speaking of deaths, I was also surprised by the amount of violence and liberal killing in the drama. The cadets at the academy never hesitated to kill, and murdering people never affected them. The writers justified the deaths by dismissing the victims as being traitors to the country, whether they were just a driver or security guard for the Japanese or a Japanese nurse or doctor. If they were affiliated with the Japanese and got in the way of a mission, then the leads would kill them. At times it felt like a video game because the cadets would use so much gunpowder to just plow through anyone who was an inconvenience to the mission. The drama also really advocates revenge, which was also really shocking. Revenge can be engaging to watch when it’s fictional, but I don’t morally agree with revenge, so I was surprised that a drama with so much killing and a revenge fetish was allowed to get past censorship. 

Overall, the plot was really good. The drama rarely ever dragged, except for maybe episodes 22-26 where it felt like Gu Yanzhen didn’t really have anything to do with the main plot, but the drama recovers quickly after that. Episodes 16 and 31 are probably my favourite in terms of interactions between the ML and FL. 17-22 are when they’re separated and bond with the supporting leads instead. That was clearly a purposeful move by the writers. They gave us peak sweetness between the leads and then separated them immediately afterwards. Those episodes made me worry that they would be angst, but there wasn’t. Those episodes showed that even when the leads were separated and went through hardships with someone else, they still thought about each other. Again, another example of how every mission progresses the plot and develops character. 

In terms of the romantic plot, I would say that about three quarters of the drama is about characters liking people who don’t like them back, and what you get is a convoluted love rectangle that expands to a pentagon. What I like about Gu Yanzhen is that while he can be childish and obnoxious, he gives Xie Xiang a lot of space. There were some scenes when either Huang Song or Shen Junshan was trying to pursue her and I was like, why isn’t Gu Yanzhen here to intervene? But then I realize that it’s actually good that he isn’t constantly stalking her. Gu Yanzhen may seem possessive at the academy, but he doesn’t prevent her from doing things either on or off campus. On the other hand, when Shen Junshan figures out Xie Xiang’s true identity, he acts entitled to her to the point where it feels manipulative. He would tell Xie Liang Chen that he’s meeting Xie Xiang for lunch, knowing that this would prompt Xie Xiang to dress up and rush off campus to meet him. He changed her room without asking her first, saying it was for her own good. I might have to rewatch the earlier episodes, but I don’t think Gu Yanzhen ever used her secret to underhandedly leverage power against her like that. I don’t think he ever tried to “test” her. It was only after she found out that he knew when he started to teasingly blackmail her with her secret in order to get her to wash his clothes or be nice to him, but this was done upfront to her face, so she knows what she’s dealing with. And also despite being constantly annoyed by him, Xie Xiang feels very comfortable with him. She trusts him. She knows that no matter what, he would never share her secret, so she was able to be herself with him from the beginning. In contrast, there was always a distance and formality between Xie Xiang and Shen Junshan, even though they went through a lot together.

The bigger question is why Gu Yanzhen fell for Xie Xiang instead of Qu Manting. I think it has to do with how Gu Yanzhen likes who he is whenever he’s with Xie Xiang. Manting is too much like his playboy self, so it always feels like he’s putting on an act or playing a game when he’s with her. They clash too much and both have huge egos, even though Manting has done so much for him and has seen him at his most vulnerable. But Xie Xiang is someone whom he wants to unconditionally protect and support. He teases and flirts with her, knowing that he’ll get a scolding and a beating. He wants to expend energy with Xie Xiang, but is fatigued with Manting. Xie Xiang is simple, down-to-earth, and has a purpose. She’s everything he isn’t. She anchors him, while he gets her to open and loosen up in what is otherwise a threatening and uptight environment. A classic example of how opposites attract. 

The Ending

The main character of this drama is the academy. Go figure since that’s the drama’s name. So it made sense that the final shot would be of the academy. Gu Yanzhen and Xie Xiang are shown walking off into the sunset just before that. And while I was really curious to see what their life would be like beyond the academy (I mean, what skills do they even have besides military prowess? What are they even going to do in terms of careers?), it made sense that the last shot we see of them is them leaving the academy. Their future is left to the imagination, almost like a fairy tale. That’s because their story is only one of many that comes out the academy. Their future is uncertain, but the future of the academy is certain. The academy is like a beacon, and it will continue to be here even long after the leads are gone. 

The deaths of Huang Song and Instructor Guo were just tragic. Huang Song never got to find out Xie Xiang’s true identity despite being her closest friend, and he had such a bright future and so many goals. Instructor Guo, who spent the last 2 decades in depression, never got to have his happily ever after. Li Wen Zhong finally redeemed himself, and yet the writers had him sacrifice himself. I thought their deaths were needless, but I did see how their deaths had narrative purpose. It still really, really sucks though.

I think I’ll give this drama an 8.5/10 if not a 9/10. It’s been a while since I last watched a drama with consistent pacing. Wish I could watch this drama for the first time again. 

Going to end the review with some pictures. 

The worldbuilding was really immersive thanks to the costumes, colour grading, OST, and set designs. 

Look at the power stances of this ensemble cast. They’re unstoppable. 

I can’t get over these two. Such a different dynamic from The Legends, but still so much chemistry. 

And deleted scenes though!! I don’t remember this sit-up scene in the drama. 

[winifredsandersonsbitch]

Ok but the way that Willow has always hated Faith is like... the worst part of her character to me.

I can forgive her for being an addict because it’s a sickness and she needed help, but so many of Willow’s criticisms of Faith are that she’s slutty and damaged. In “This Year’s Girl,” even as Buffy is pushing for Faith’s rehabilitation or really anything except just beating the shit out of her, Willow is actively advocating for a smack down. She wants to see Faith hurt, and her resentment first appears because Buffy and Faith got so close so fast, and I don’t think she ever really gets over that.

We always talk about Faith as a mirror of Buffy’s darker traits, but Faith and Willow have the same problems! They both have addictive personalities, they’re both territorial when it comes to Buffy especially, and they’re both endlessly seeking love and approval. Faith had the mayor, Willow had Giles. Faith fixated on Buffy, and Willow (for years) fixated on Xander. But they both come in second to Buffy in nearly everything. Neither one of them can be straightforward about how that makes them feel, but in certain episodes you can see how the frustration mounts when their personal lives, friendships, and safety is put after Buffy’s duties as the Slayer.

We never see Willow and Faith reconcile, even when they’re forced to work together for the greater good in the final season. Faith does apologize for her behavior and, more importantly, she puts in the work to become a better person. We see this with Willow too after she comes back from her witchy rehab in Season 7. But Willow and Faith’s relationship is grounded in resentment and anger. We never see them work past that.

Willow gets much more screen time than the quirky best friend normally does. Her character development across the span of the show is amazing. But sometimes it also comes through that she hates other women just a little bit. Not in general, but enough that her main criticism of Faith is consistently that Faith is an evil slut. Some of this comes through with Harmony too. Sometimes the writing of the show makes it so apparent that who Willow initially was (a quiet, nerdy girl who was in love with her male best friend and was jealous of the popular girls) is still a part of her. I would even go as far to say that part of the reason why Willow hates Faith so much is that Faith took Xander’s virginity. Willow loved Xander, even if it was in a superficial childlike way, and it must hurt to know that Faith swept right in and got what she had wanted for years. Willow has to work for things, but it appears to her that Faith is able to just take whatever she wants whenever she wants it. I mostly chalk this up to Joss Whedon’s sexism, but after rewatching Buffy it’s hard to ignore this inherent part of Willow’s character.

[baby-giggles]

Does your loved one have borderline personality disorder (BPD), also known as emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD)?

In your relationship:

Do you feel like you have to tiptoe around your loved one, watching every little thing you say or do for fear of setting them off? Do you often hide what you think or feel in order to avoid fights and hurt feelings?

Does your loved one shift almost instantaneously between emotional extremes? For example, are they calm one moment, raging the next, then suddenly despondent? Are these rapid mood swings unpredictable and seemingly irrational?

Does your loved one tend to view you as all good or bad, with no middle ground? For example, either you’re “perfect,” and the only one they can count on, or you’re “selfish” and “unfeeling” and never truly loved them.

Do you feel like you can’t win: that anything you say or do will be twisted and used against you? Does it feel as if your loved one’s expectations are constantly changing, so you’re never sure how to keep the peace?

Is everything always your fault? Do you feel constantly criticized and blamed for things that don’t even make sense? Does the person accuse you of doing and saying things you never did? Do you feel misunderstood whenever you try to explain or reassure your partner?

Do you feel manipulated by fear, guilt, or outrageous behavior? Does your loved one make threats, fly into violent rages, make dramatic declarations, or do dangerous things when they think you’re unhappy or may leave?

If you answer “yes” to most of these questions, your partner or family member might have borderline personality disorder.

Remember the 3 C’s rule

Many friends or family members often feel guilty and blame themselves for the destructive behavior of the borderline person. You may question what you did to make the person so angry, think you somehow deserve the abuse, or feel responsible for any failure or relapse in treatment.

But it’s important to remember that you’re not responsible for another person. The person with BPD is responsible for their own actions and behaviors.

The 3 C’s are:

I didn’t cause it.

I can’t cure it.

I can’t control it.

When things are calmer:

Listen actively and be sympathetic. Avoid distractions such as the TV, computer, or cell phone. Try not to interrupt or redirect the conversation to your concerns. Set aside your judgment, withhold blame and criticism, and show your interest in what’s being said by nodding occasionally or making small verbal comments like “yes” or “uh huh.” You don’t have to agree with what the person is saying to make it clear that you’re listening and sympathetic.

Focus on the emotions, not the words. The feelings of the person with BPD communicate much more than what the words he or she is using. People with BPD need validation and acknowledgement of the pain they’re struggling with. Listen to the emotion your loved one is trying to communicate without getting bogged down in attempting to reconcile the words being used.

Try to make the person with BPD feel heard. Don’t point out how you feel that they’re wrong, try to win the argument, or invalidate their feelings, even when what they’re saying is totally irrational.

Do your best to stay calm, even when the person with BPD is acting out. Avoid getting defensive in the face of accusations and criticisms, no matter how unfair you feel they are. Defending yourself will only make your loved one angrier. Walk away if you need to give yourself time and space to cool down.

Seek to distract your loved one when emotions rise. Anything that draws your loved one’s attention can work, but distraction is most effective when the activity is also soothing. Try exercising, sipping hot tea, listening to music, grooming a pet, painting, gardening, or completing household chores.

Talk about things other than the disorder. You and your loved one’s lives aren’t solely defined by the disorder, so make the time to explore and discuss other interests. Discussions about light subjects can help to diffuse the conflict between you and may encourage your loved one to discover new interests or resume old hobbies.

Try to be patient. If your loved one is struggling to deal with their emotions, try not to get involved in an argument in the heat of the moment. It could be better to wait until you both feel calmer to talk things through.

Don't judge them. Try to listen to them without telling them that they're overreacting or that they shouldn't feel the way they do. Whether or not you understand why they feel like this, and regardless of whether you feel it's reasonable, it is still how they're feeling and it's important to acknowledge it.

Be calm and consistent. If your loved one is experiencing a lot of overwhelming emotions, this could help them feel more secure and supported and will help in moments of conflict.

Help remind them of all their positive traits. When someone you care about is finding it hard to believe anything good about themself, it can be reassuring to hear all the positive things you see in them.

Try to set clear boundaries and expectations. If your loved one is feeling insecure about being rejected or abandoned, or seems worried about being left alone, it can be helpful to make sure you both know what you can expect from each other.

Plan ahead. When the person you're supporting is feeling well, ask them how you can help them best when things are difficult.

Learn their triggers. Talk to your loved one and try to find out what sort of situations or conversations might trigger negative thoughts and emotions.

Learn more about BPD. BPD is a complicated diagnosis, and your loved one might sometimes have to deal with other people's misconceptions on top of trying to manage their mental health problem.

Help them seek treatment and support.

Help them find an advocate.

Take care of yourself. Looking after someone else can sometimes be difficult and stressful. It's important to remember that your mental health is important too.

Things that do not help:

Do not take over control of their life. Support them to make their own choices. Avoid conflict or arguments over these.

Avoid the temptation to try to rescue the person from a particular situation. Don’t imagine that you can fix their life for them.

Avoid being drawn into their conflicts with other people, including their psychiatrist (e.g. cancelling appointments on their behalf instead of expecting them to do so themselves, or being drawn into one side of a family conflict).

Don’t try to be their therapist. Instead, help them find the right treatment and support them to follow their treatment.

Try not to get defensive in the face of accusations and criticism. When they get emotional or angry, it is not just about you or about the situation – they are trying to deal with BPD at the same time. Try to distinguish the person from the illness.

Setting goals for BPD recovery: Go slowly

When supporting your loved one’s recovery, it’s important to be patient and set realistic goals. Change can and does happen but, as with reversing any kind of behavior pattern, it takes time.

Take baby steps rather than aiming for huge, unattainable goals that set you and your loved one up for failure and discouragement. By lowering expectations and setting small goals to be achieved step by step, you and your loved one have a greater chance of success.

Supporting your loved one’s recovery can be both extremely challenging and rewarding. You need to take care of yourself, but the process can help you grow as an individual and strengthen the relationship between you.

[salemorbit]

Hi! Could I request Mipha and Zelda with an affectionate fem! s/o that showers them with praise, terms of endearment and physical affection (kisses, hugs, cuddles)? Take your time and thank you!

hi!! thank u so much for the request <333

i hope u like it!

also sorry this took a minute to do! busy busy

~~~~~~

Zelda & Mipha with an affectionate s/o headcanons

[Fem!Reader]

~~~~~

Zelda usually has to keep up a professional facade for business reasons, but she does a 180 every time she's with you (for the most part)

You love to be very affectionate in your relationships, and Zelda loves to receive those affections from you

She typically has kept to herself for most of her life, her father not being so attentive toward her in the affection category, and you being so physical with your feelings was definitely something she would have to get used to

But once she was used to it, she was a big advocate for it LMAO

You attended royal banquets and other facilities as her right-hand, usually places where she would have to present herself and otherwise exhaust herself socially

Consistently you would tell her how proud you were of her for being able to put herself out like that, and she would always be thankful for those words of encouragement

A typical day in the castle would be you two spending a lot of time together whenever you could!

Zelda loved it when you played with her hair, often leading to days spent in the sun in the garden and relaxing while you braided her hair or just ran your fingers through it

She would make you flower crowns or just put small flowers in your hair in turn, which would bring a smile to your face that she loved oh so dearly

You were big on hand holding, so often you would sit with her and hold her hands or, if you two were studying together, you would sit and absentmindedly play with her fingers and run your own against her knuckles

This would really distract her from whatever she was reading or writing, and so Zelda would have to stop and take a breath to center herself (but she absolutely adored the action hehe)

Zelda would also prepare little presentations for you on whatever subject she was studying that week

You would pay the utmost attention to her and her intellectual prowess, and afterward you would ask her little questions here and there that would make her ramble off more on the topic

You always told her how much you loved her, and she would try her best to verbalize how she felt toward you as well :)

She grew up most of her life without many verbal affirmations or words of affection, so it wouldn't really come second nature to her like it did you, but she would still try because she knew that was your love language and made you feel more secure!

Often you would steal kisses from her in between dress changes throughout the day, or just in passing (you were sometimes very busy around the castle yourself!) whether it be on the cheek or forehead

It really made Zelda flustered when you would kiss her on the lips around a corner, just quick enough that it wouldn't hinder your gait but long enough that Zelda would have to compose herself with a smile before continuing on her day

Every action you did and every loving and kind word you said to her made its permanent mark on her heart!!

•••

Mipha is absolutely on board with affection, she's such a sucker for it hehe

She likes to think she's not much of a show off, but will definitely subconsciously try to impress you with her spear skills or swimming tricks

It makes her scales tingle whenever you compliment her fighting style or she catches you watching her practice water-based combat strategies

One of Mipha's favorite things is when you two nuzzle foreheads!! That's like the love language of her entire culture so it definitely makes her heart soar whenever you initiate or accept a nuzzle

She loves to show you different parts of the Zora Domain and her favorite spots to relax or train

And it's totally not because you usually hold her hand (fin??) while you walk with her no not at all /s

You often tell her how much you admire her and everything she does for the Zora, and it usually turns into a competition of Mipha telling you how much she admires you and everything you do

It's a lot of back and forth but it never turns into an argument because it's all in good fun :)

Whenever you two go out on a venture of some sort, you always run through with her a list of the things you need to bring to double check that she actually packed them

It's a small thing that you don't really think much about, but Mipha loves it because you know that she can be scatterbrained at times and need someone to keep her in check

You two are about the same height, so hugs work great and Mipha typically nuzzles into your neck because she feels so comforted

Mipha also knows an amazing spot on the edge of the domain that shows off Hyrule's best sunsets or sunrises

You're not really an early morning person (unless you are, then more power to you lmao) so Mipha likes to take you to that special spot and watch the sun set with you and just hold you with her :,)

~~~~~~~

this made my little queer heart go brrrrrrrr

thanks for the request again!! i hope this was good :)

[mc-critical]

On Hatice’s character, I feel like she more or less was cheated of a better character arc which could’ve made her more likeable or easier to understand (almost everyone I’ve encountered who is into the series has extreme distaste for her character.) Though I don’t necessarily feel any particular form of intensity towards her character I do wish she could have been explored a bit more? I can see why she wasn’t likely due to time constraints/needing to stay consistent with plot lines but it would have been nice to see. I feel like everytime Hatice was on screen, mentioned, or involved in the plot line it was in conjunction to or in relation to Ibrahim. Even after Ibrahim was dead, Hatice’s whole storyline was just..Ibrahim. It was clear that she was emotionally unstable and dealt with attachment issues from the start of the series, likely resulting trauma from her father’s bloody reign. We’re told she was “her parent’s favorite/the spoiled one” according to her siblings, we’re hinted at some sort of past fued between her and Sah but no real context. We rarely got to see her interact with her children. It’s like we only were given tiny bits and pieces of Hatice as her own person and everything else about her just existed to string Ibrahim along. It’s quite sad..what do you think?

Eh, I absolutely adore Hatice as a character and I feel she got a very solid, well-written character arc. I'm pleased with what we got with her in the show and I think that her nuance tends to be massively overlooked.

The center of her character is not really Ibrahim, but rather the line between family and dynasty. And while that seems to be attributed with Ibrahim in the strongest way, it also channels in who Hatice is as a person and her interactions with other characters like her mother, Süleiman and Hürrem.

Hatice has always been the sultana of blood that is closest to the dynasty, but also the one that wants to detach the most from it. As you said, she had lingering trauma from her father's reign /which indeed is only hinted, to be honest, but that's the whole backstory of Selim Yavuz, what we got from his cruelty in the show was basically hints two flashbacks. We were told by Süleiman of his defining deed, we were told by Valide and Hatice that they saw his father in him, but the rest remained pretty much vague, which isn't a problem with Hatice's character. However, it may come off as a problem with SS's character, since more backstory would better explain his paranoia outside of actions of the "suspects" taken out of context, would render Mustafa's death a little more understandable and would highlight even more his character arc, for Selim Yavuz was his "Azraeel", according to him, but that is a post for another day./, but on a more personal note, she has witnessed the death her former husband, which puts her panic and fear over death in another light. Her backstory isn't that focused on, because it's not all that important for her character arc: because while Mahidevran has to get over her past and Şah Sultan tries to consistently set herself for the future, Hatice has to face the events of the present. She's an effective deconstruction of the Princess Classic trope she started up as: an innocent, fragile, kind hearted princess, no sign of trauma whatsoever who strives to create a family of her own, as a bonus. After she meets Ibrahim, she feels like she wants to be in that adventure with him, she not only falls in love with him, but he fills her with hopes and dreams for a better life. Look how when she marries him she wanted to get out of Topkapi as soon as possible and always repeated that she wanted for them to be a family, that she wanted to have piece. Even her love for Ibrahim is much more deep seated than some plain obsession that is only used as a plot device or to prop him up. She's grown with beliefs that have been a part of her life and sometimes she lets them out out of sheer ignorance, no matter how much independence she wants in her personal life. Her whole relationship with Ibrahim is a back and forth conflict between dynasty and family that is only a vector for her arc, not the entirety of it.

It's often ignored how pivotal is Hatice's relationship with Valide. The closeness she has with her, especially compared to her other sisters, shaped up all of Hatice's life long beliefs. Namely Valide is the root of Hatice's love and respect for the dynasty, being next to its female representative her entire life (see also Valide's flashbacks in E58) and witnessing the way she dealt with things, the way she ruled the harem, the way she made decisions. Even Hatice herself considered her as her role model and wanted to be like her. (she told her this in E61) It was as if Valide was a preserver of all the virtues Hatice deemed as worth having. She has a tremendous respect for her and her opinions and this is what brought her to hide her love for Ibrahim more than anything. The respect she has for the ottoman laws and the ottoman dynasty and the ways she got used to them made her to do anything but admitting SS and Valide her true feelings.

Valide is an indirect reason of Hatice's supposedly "inpartial" point of view in the harem that let her judge things more fairly. It's not that Hatice was completely unbiased in her relationships with Mahidevran and Hürrem early on, because oh no, she wasn't, Hatice always was on the dynasty's side in this war, but for her dynasty always advocated fairness and preserving piece and order. She wasn't afraid to call out whoever she thought was wrong at any time and even when her bias had completely (and honestly, rightly in many aspects) impacted her in terms of Hürrem, she wasn't afraid to admit that she was right about Firuze after all. Hatice also has a very reactive personality: she doesn't let anyone provoke her and quickly responds when she's provoked. She's not provoked only about Ibrahim, she's also provoked when it comes to both family and dynasty, overall, seeing Hürrem and Mahidevran quarrel in E11, Fatma and the concubines challenging Hürrem in E47, Mahidevran attempting to kill Hürrem's children in E55, Mihrimah defending Hürrem in E84 etc. Whenever something she cares about is opposed or attacked by someone, she would always spring into action, which is a very consistent trend of her character as a whole.

{There are many reasons why I personally find Hatice sympathetic: she's one of the most ethical characters of the show, acting as a peacekeeper wanting to keep everyone out of their struggle, she's always ready to help, she cherishes love (her wanting to marry Sadıka to Matrakcı), there are so many people she cares about outside of just Ibrahim - Mahidevran, Mustafa, Valide, her sisters and their problems impact her as well, despite of how "self-centered" she may seem at first glance. She, just like MCK Gevherhan, is so humane to everyone she interacts with, trying her very best to empathize with them. (to the point Mahidevran told her in E05 that if she keeps up worrying only about them, she will wither in this palace) Her trauma and circumstance also bring in a lot of empathy for me, because significantly little of it is her own doing, compared to other characters. We see a character that deteoriates both internally and externally often as a consequence of her simply fearing she would lose everyone she loves and that her life would be once again, filled with illnesses and death.}

[Truth be told, I don't get the Hatice hate, like AT. ALL. I don't know about you, but people I've encountered on the Internet couldn't give me a valid reason as to why they hate Hatice so much. They either reduce her to a "whiny", "crying", "spoiled" or "evil" bitch, either say they hate her because she breaks down a lot or because stood up against Hürrem for no reason, which is totally untrue, in my opinion. I genuinely haven't seen one (1) good argument as to why she deserves such ire. They mostly look at a more dimensional version of S03 Hatice and forget everything that set up S03 Hatice, or they hate Hatice exclusively because of S03, which.... eh? I would dare say that there are more reasons to hate Mahidevran than there ever were to hate Hatice (even though the hate directed at Mahidevran is, once again, for all the wrong reasons) and if someone gave me an actually good reason to hate Mahidevran, I would understand, but Hatice? Even her more questionable actions were ultimately provoked by something or someone.]

Her first traumatic experiences in the present is also connected to the kids she's lost. Yeah, giving her more time with her living children and seeing her more as a mother is the one thing I would definetly change in her writing. We didn't get enough of that and it would be a breath of fresh air. But then again, losing so many could've demotivated her and the last time she was pregnant we also had this prevailing, but understandable fear. It also just doesn't play such a big part in her deconstrustion-to-become-flanderization-in-character-development arc.

We gain a gradual, broader perspective into her a bit later in the narrative, and perhaps that eventually broken first impression would cause disappointment - Hatice could be prideful and while she wants to detach from the dynasty for her family, she values her own position and the rights that are offered with it. She could be easily offended by remarks made to startle her. She could be demanding sometimes. But that existed along with her good traits. Hatice was the most reasonable and morally unproblematic character of the main cast overall and by S01/2, that truly showed.

If we refer only to S03 Hatice, it would make a tiny bit more sense for people to not find her that sympathetic. Because while she underwent a good flanderization arc, it's still flanderization and some traits of hers seem to be more present than others in that season, especially knowing the trajectory of said arc. It may look like there isn't a sympathetic reason to do what she does, as if she's like this all of the sudden. But here's the rub: season 3 wasn't supposed to give this much context to Hatice's actions, it's the pay-off of a build-up, the peak of her arc that leads to a resolution. Season 3 wasn't supposed to repeat stuff that has already been established, all Hatice is doing there, has been set up for an entire season, if not more. We already know what's driving her, we already have the sympathetic reasons. That's why all the attention is given to her actions that bring her to tragedy, not to introspective scenes.

Back to Ibrahim's relation to Hatice's character: A common affirmation I hear is that Hatice's rift with Hürrem was caused thanks to Ibrahim and Ibrahim alone. There's so much more to it than that! While we had the scene that started the build-up and the one that ended it be about a possible/already a fact infidelity of Ibrahim's as a parallel, these are only a part of it, not it in its entirety. Keep in mind that the one thing that fully set the upcoming enmity in motion during S03 is Hürrem taking Valide's chambers. And at first Hatice wasn't about to blame Hürrem for it all when she went to tell it to his majesty (her saying to Gülfem that it doesn't matter who told her about the affair) with her claiming that Hü ruined her life only after their confrontation for Valide's chambers. And here we return to the center of Hatice's character: thing is, whether we liked it or not, Hürrem always was a threat to the dynasty in Hatice's eyes. Şah asked her the infamous question: "The dynasty or Ibrahim?" when she was asked why is Hürrem a threat in E81, but I think both are in conjunction, yet independent of each other here. Hatice values tradition just like her mother and Hürrem breaking them all would cause some kind of disturbance. She got distraught right after she was freed and married, claiming that it had to be stopped before it happened, look also how she told Afife Hatun that Hürrem had to be gotten rid of because she caused unrest in the harem! Not only Ibrahim's death, but Valide's death impacted her so much, she thought someone had to supposedly protect the dynasty for what is to come before everything goes haywire and that's what she attempted to do the entire time. In S03A personal motives clearly ran together with the apparent protection of the dynasty (I sometimes like to parallel Hatice's dynasty with Kösem's state in my head, despite that Kösem's urge to protect the state comes more with her role as a ruler and regent and measures out of necessity, while Hatice's comes from willingness to preserve balance and harmony in a more personal level.) and she considered Hürrem as a threat to everything Hatice believes in. She seems to also take on her mother's footsteps in that regard, in a way, using common for Valide methods like sending a concubine to SS etc. She considers Hürrem a threat for her own stability and well-being and that isn't limited to just Ibrahim.

Her relationship with SS is the one that is probably the most connected to Ibrahim, judging by their first more "nuanced" scene for me (him deciding to marry Ibro and Hati) and fallout (the confrontation for Ibrahim's death), but that could be also connected to what Hatice has previously experienced and genuine respect for him as a brother before all the rocky stuff happened. And interestingly, her deep resentment and then despise of him is targeted at him bringing Hürrem to their lives, not simply just killing Ibrahim, though that was also an intensely strong motivator of hers.

Hatice's bond with Mustafa is also strong even before she fell in love with Ibrahim. She also considered him "the future of the dynasty", played with him in the gardens, comforted him in tough times when she could. They didn't have as many scenes together, but the relationship added a good amount of flavor to her character.

A reason why I think Hatice's relationship with Mahidevran is so precious and criminally underrated, is that this is the relationship least centered on Ibrahim, second only to Hatice's with Valide. Their scenes early on is mostly them being there for each other and being happy with each other's moments of good time. They're very bound to each other and are very good friends that still have a dynamic relationship. The temporary S02B fallout between them has everything to do with Hatice's disappointment and disbelief of Mahidevran's own failings. She also threatened something Hatice cared about and did something she didn't expect of her. And that isn't barely noticeable, Hürrem even remarked that Mahidevran is becoming alone in E58. (oh my, I hate this scene with passion, but anyway.) After that their dynamic then remained basically intact for S03, expect that they could act more like allies than friends. But that's a given, due to the more intense events in the palace and the tonal shift of the show.

I find her dynamic with Şah fascinating due to their contrasting personalities and strained, yet loving relationship. The feud between them had enough context given to us through Beyhan's words to Şah in E83: that Hatice not only was Valide's favorite, but she apparently had the life Şah wanted to have, which explains Şah's ambition and supposed distance and secrecy well enough. More backstory would mean destroying the interesting duality in the relationship and wouldn't make Şah's motivation half as interesting and uniquely presented as it was, to be honest. Which is why I find her dynamic with Hatice way more interesting than her dynamic with Hürrem (which is good, too, but pretty generic), but that's also a post for another day. But Hatice is actually the more open person in this dynamic and the one more revealing her feelings. Şah wanted her to move on from her losses, but Hatice objects so strongly because it all has gotten to a completely personal level, with Şah trying to redecorate her castle, it would look like she's trying to change her from the outset, her as a person, which is something Hatice would never agree with. But then again, it's clearly shown that deep down Şah cares about what Hatice wants and is trying to do the best for her in her own way. And the emphasis is again put on family: they still get along and reconcile, setting their differences aside.

Many of Hatice's introspective scenes were with Gülfem and while they talked about Ibrahim many times, we could still see the amount of powerful support between them. Hatice shared everything with Gülfem, it was as if they knew everything about each other. They were each other's comfort.

She showed moral support to Beyhan, as well. That is another familial relationship that shows both casual and profound interactions. It's not there as much, but that's more because of Beyhan's limited screentime, not because of something to do with Hatice.

Even her arc with Ibrahim isn't all about him, but is also tied to the core of her character. The line between dynasty and family drives their whole fallout and if it wasn't there, the conflict between them wouldn't ever take place. Hatice ultimately forgiving Ibrahim is more about her getting out of her own dynastic outlook, which is a relevant character development of hers that happens along with her flanderization. And that plot-line is as important as the flanderization, even more so, and it pushes it forward. It was a resolution of the conflict with family and dynasty in Hatice, not exactly forgiving Ibrahim just for Ibrahim. (that is also a factor, no doubt, because she loves him and he is a part of her character, but not all her character.)

Overall, for me Hatice is a multi-faceted, amazing character that is actually very fleshed out in the span of three seasons. I don't find much issue with her writing: everything that happened with her is logical and well-explained if you look closely enough and I don't want more for her arc. It was original and outstanding for what it was, both as a character concept and a dynastic sultana of the franchise.

[cosmostellar]

I don't understand what could be wrong about frozen 2???

i feel like i could write an essay about it because its all ive been talking about for the last 2.5 hour and still i constantly think of new things but ill try to list the main ones for me

No one has a consistent/understandable character arc. Elsa is (I’m guessing?? these are legitimately my guesses because I don’t feel like the movie made anything clear enough to actually say it with certainty), but I’m guessing Elsa is supposed to be shown as wanting something more, seeking adventure, feeling like she’s wasting her life in the palace, hence “the siren voice”. But it never really feels like that because whenever Elsa is distracted or seems upset it’s not because of her own needs not being met in the palace or the role of queen being upsetting/overwhelming for her, or her being bored, or her just wanting to GET OUT AND DO SOMETHING. Her only motivation and the reason for distress initially is hearing the voice, she never seems to enjoy herself on the adventure in the forest. Why does she even want to stay in that forest in the end? Because she likes the people she’s never really talked to? Because she enjoys the magical adventure? There is no connection written between Elsa and the adventure, Elsa and the unknown, Elsa and the magic.

Anna is just a complete mess in this movie. I don’t know if her obsession and overprotective behavior towards Elsa are supposed to be seen as negative or do the writers just struggle with writing sibling relationships this much, but it’s the only thing she does that can be somewhat interpreted as something she needs to work on. And there is never any conclusion to that?? Elsa sends Anna away once, goes somewhere herself and ends up dying and having to be saved by Anna anyway, which in some way only confirms all of Anna’s fears, but they never have a conversation after that? And Anna’s ending (becoming a queen) is written hastily and comes out of nowhere, she is not previously set as someone who is better fit to be the queen of Arendelle than Elsa, or someone who wants it/needs it character-wise. I don’t know.

Kristoff’s presence in this movie was a joke and they didn’t even try and okay, I guess, but it was just. It was just sad how it looked like the writers cried for hours before they came up with a way they can squeeze him into the story.

The dialogue was SO BAD. It was either pure clear exposition given in the way that you could just SEE they are setting something up - Olaf talking about the water, Kristoff and Anna talking about the dam, Elsa and Anna being told the story of the enchanted forest. No one talked like real people, even in the emotional movies they were mostly exposition machines (Anna telling Elsa how Elsa is the gift from the spirits because of what their parents did. Also I still don’t know how she arrived at that conclusion). The script never took a break to just have them sit and talk, banter, joke with each other. It felt… like they barely knew each other? And it honestly looked like the writers kinda noticed it too because they really did their best to have Anna and Elsa EXPOSITION how they Know Stuff About Each Other (”oh you are wearing mom’s scarf, i know you must feel bad”). Don’t… don’t tell me that these people know each other?? Show me? The sisters interact on a daily basis for three years and still don’t have a single inside joke? Anna reacts to Kristoff’s rambling as if she knew him for three days? Also I THOUGHT that her reactions to what he was talking about during their journey after Elsa fell asleep was supposed to hint at some other thing she struggles in within herself (feeling like she’s not good enough at love or something, idk), but no, that was just. I don’t know what that was.

The big twist of the movie is that whites fucked over native people. Woohoo. Wasn’t at all obvious the moment the whites and the natives appeared on the screen together. Also Elsa’s mom looks like a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON as a child just so that another plot twist could work.

And I don’t know why were those people even there?? No one connected to them in any way, it’s hard to assess what relationship these two groups had towards each other, how do they function, the sister and brother were so unnecessary it actually hurt to see them just pointlessly moving around on the screen.

Also the pace and the plot were atrocious, the lack of clear conflict made it impossible to really root for them because most of the time it was unclear what the characters were actually attempting to do and what was supposed to happen, and I’m the first one to advocate for lack of clear villains in the movies but boy. That movie could really use a villain because it was tiring to watch Anna and Elsa go around and discover random things that would once again change their goals and journeys in a quasi-unclear and uninteresting way.

[kramer497]

Why You Need a Divorce Lawyer

I really got somebody in a book shop uncovering to a social event of individuals why they ought not have their own lawful advisors, how they couldn't trust in authentic aides, how attorneys would swindle them and how they ought to depend on the affiliation the speaker had a spot with considering everything. That discussion made me consider why individuals facing division and separation need any attorney, in any case a decent segment genuine expert Guide to Divorce in Kansas .

Reason #1-What You need to know

You need to know your benefits, responsibilities and commitments under the law. Essentially a legal guide who has been held to address your inclinations can encourage you. How might you sensibly talk about monetary outlines in separating and detaching, in the event that you don't have even the remotest sign what your benefits, responsibilities and commitments are? Not course of action what your benefits are can accomplish not getting something reasonable of resources, something reasonable of help or something reasonable of time with your youngsters. Not game plan what your responsibilities and commitments are can accomplish your paying a great deal resources or something reasonable of help. Most legitimate counsels offer an exceptional diminished rate for guiding associations to urge individuals to get bearing early and regularly. There is no motivation to depend upon yard fence counsel, when you can get bona fide heading from an affirmed experienced separation attorney for a sensible expense. Additionally, in my experience, the deck fence encouraging is routinely confused. Review that if what you hear is half undeniable, it is as yet confused.

Reason #2-Backyard Advice

My accomplice is secluded. Is there any valid reason why i wouldn't have the alternative to depend upon my accomplice's agreement and information. Considering everything, you could do that yet what you need to perceive is that except for if your pal is an endorsed lawful guide, he/she isn't avowed to offer legal guidance. Your companion's information will be restricted to his/her specific experience. His/her relationship in the law is restricted to current genuine elements of his/her case and the law as it was by at that point. Things change. The law changes. Any adjustment in the genuine components will change the result or encouraging. Besides, changes in the law will alter the course. Your pal essentially doesn't have the information and experience to bring to the table sound appropriate legitimate bearing.

Reason #3-Identifying Issues

The sooner you get a legal advisor, the sooner you will recognize what you need to know to promise yourself (and your adolescents and property interests). Every so often individuals have no clue about how to approach perceiving the issues they need to assess, regardless of whether the partition is a neighborly one and the get-togethers foresee a "amicable division." A decent, experienced separation legitimate educator can help you in seeing the issues you need to examine with your partner to accomplish an all out course of action and generally settlement. All through the range of the years there have been various occasions when we had the decision to raise to customers zones they had from the beginning excused and gives which ought to be related with their settlement conversations, like life consideration, clinical benefits incorporation, and adolescents' instructive requirements.

Reason #4-To Share or Not to Share?

My mate as of now has a legitimate counselor. Do I truly have to get one moreover? Can't a practically identical legal educator address us both? The reasonable response is as a general rule in reality actually no, not actually. 30 years sooner when I from the start started giving legitimate direction, it was mindfully no-no for a legal counselor to convey the various sides to a segment, paying little notice to how "neighborly" it was. There are some restricted conditions wherein twofold portrayal may be permitted, if there is done dependability of foreseen miserable conditions and a waiver of contentions with showed assent by the two players. These conditions are restricted and whenever down and out separations or conversations ought to emerge, the lawyer should end the portrayal and the two players should look for new course. In all honesty, we believe it or not, just to a great extent consent to twofold portrayal. We address our customers excitedly inside the imperatives of the law and the contentions in tending to coordinate sides are preposterously obvious for us to consent to do in light of everything. That, yet in the event that your life assistant has a legal advisor, that recommends that he/she has effectively looked for genuine heading and has some direct information on his/her benefits, responsibilities and commitments under the law.

Somebody once said information is power. Would you rather be the one with the information (and the force) or the one without information? How trusting would you have the choice to be of your life assistant or his/her legitimate instructor in the conditions? Recall that your pal's lawyer as of now watches out for your life accessory. We would say, mates, particularly individuals who will all things considered be controlling will hardly ponder ruining the law to acquire advantage throughout activity. As a matter of fact a customer revealed to me that her life partner who stays in the private home uncovered to her that she was eventually his "property chief" and thusly she was unable to return the home without his assent and presence and that his legitimate educator said precisely that. Unmistakably, all that he provoked her wasn't right. Her life partner also told our customer that they didn't have to utilize genuine supporters and could agree confined without legal advisors. He additionally said that on the off chance that she mentioned having her lawyer study administrative work before she checked it that he would discover something to change with on each draft to drive up her expenses. Obviously he was attempting to control, caution and control his life accomplice, who was dexterous to look for her own free heading from a learned, experienced separation legitimate advisor.

Reason #5-Do You Feel Lucky?

Going to a court hearing in a moving toward division without a genuine consultant takes subsequent to playing Russian Roulette. How fortunate do you think you are? Would you play out a procedure on yourself or would you search out an affirmed prepared proficient? For what reason do you feel that you see enough to address yourself in court? Do you fathom what your benefits, responsibilities and commitments are? The adjudicator will not arrangement with you in the event that you have no clue about the thing you are doing. There are rules of proof and picks of system that immediate hearings. You need somebody in your social occasion that knows the principles of the game. You will anticipate that someone should set you up for your attestation in court with the target that you don't put your feet in your mouth up to your hip bone. You will be confined by the things that emerge from your mouth in court. As a matter of fact we kept an eye on a man who caused spousal and youngster keep up obligations of $4000 consistently. The court gave a sales subject to wrong shows detailed by his better half's lawful guide and dependent on things he said in open court concerning his remuneration which were not accurate. A gifted starter legitimate advocate can get you to offer articulations that you don't anticipate saying, particularly on the off chance that you have not been ready for your introduction.

Reason #6-Too Little, Too Late

Going to see a legal counselor after you have enough registered papers or looked with statements or hearings capable se (keeping an eye on yourself) takes subsequent to shutting the shed entryway, after the cow got out. Since you were not would in general doesn't recommend that you can move away from a ghastly choice or horrible strategy you may have made or move away from decisions the court made when you were unrepresented. An opportunity to get exhortation is before you sign. An opportunity to get course is under the attentive gaze of you go to court. Truth be told, you ought to get course when you get legitimate notification of an approaching argument against you.

In the event that you are getting this and you have reasonably stepped papers, you should in any case talk with a decent experienced separation lawful guide to have the papers uncovered to you and to outline t he papers to check whether there are any specifications that might be utilized to rethink terms move well to you or to demand "explanation" of the arrangement. The legitimate guide can likewise clarify the consequences of having signified the work zone work.

In the event that you are getting this and you are amidst a segment activity and have been to announcements confined, you should look for an energetic gathering with a good experienced separation legitimate guide to check whether there is any certified motivation to cover the sworn assertions. Try to take the entire of your records with you to the gathering. We have seen conditions where it was conceivable to reestablish a case for a customer in light of the fact that the statements were taken too soon. In such conditions, the declarations were smothered by recording the suitable papers under the principles of court. For your condition it very well might be past where it is possible to do anything, yet you ought to in any event converse with a division legitimate advocate rapidly decidedly.

[sicut-in-caelo-et-in-terra]

I was wondering what your thoughts on Pope Francis and how he has said that same-sex civil unions are okay. I thought it was against the Bible. I'm just curious, really. I guess my big question is, does the Pope dictate what every catholic believes?

Hey friend, thank you for the ask!

So there's definitely a couple of questions here, I'll grab them one at a time.

First question: my personal thoughts on the events of this past week regarding statements alleged to Pope Francis. I think there's just a lot of confusion going around about what was actually said. Some people are saying that it was a mistranslation and that he actually said something different, some people are saying that it was not as much of a mistranslation as others claim and that this has been Francis's position since before he became pope. You are correct in understanding that Catholic teaching considers sexual acts between two members of the same sex as a sin. In my personal opinion, what frustrates me is that this keeps happening, and that whenever it happens it feels like the Church splits into two camps: The Pope Is Ruining Everything versus There Are No Problems Right Now, and unfortunately it seems as though that the split occurs directly down political party lines. Now I get that perhaps people are only coming across that way because they are trying to address the falsehoods of the people on the other side of them. But really I think that a) the Pope is in a position where he has more information than us and he has been selected for this job, and therefore he may be making these decisions based on whatever information or contexts that we who criticize him do not have; b) the Pope is a person who is going to make mistakes, and he is operating in an age where he is under a particular type of scrutiny so we should be quick to forgive; c) at the same time this has shown itself to be a consistent pattern, and while it is a complex issue with many facets very much including the secular media, however there are a lot of other elements related to how he chooses to present himself and the nature of the follow-up from the Vatican, that this keeps happening tells me that there is definitely room for us to be criticizing the leadership in a spirit of charity. But I think in criticizing the Pope or defending the Pope on social media we really really need to be aware that we are indeed in a public and secular space, and that we are coming across as very divided and very disorganized. I've seen a lot of an apparent lack of charity from both sides. There's a lot more to say and it's definitely been something that has been on my heart.

Second question: whether or not same sex civil unions are okay by Catholic teaching. So the answer to this is yes and no. What I mean by this is that there is nothing intrinsically wrong with a non-marital legal union, for example if two siblings or two best friends of the same gender happen to be living together and plan to do so full time, there can be tax and other benefits for having their partnership recognized (e.g. many hospitals only allow immediate family to visit, depending, and so having a legal pairing can be useful). However, the Church does not endorse same-sex sexual relationships, and it is scandalous for the Church to advocate for laws that endorse same-sex sexual relationships. Now of course there's questions as to whether or not it makes sense to have a law that says "you can have same-sex civil unions unless you're in a sexual relationship" and all this. But that's a huge long topic and this post is already so long and I haven't answered all your questions yet.

As a note here which I think is always important to make given the current climate: a sexual orientation is not a person, it is an appetite. When we discuss sexuality in this context, we are talking specifically about acts/lifestyles, not the people who participate in them. People are people and deserve human rights. This is, I believe, more along the lines of what the Holy Father was talking about. That said, marriage and sex are actually not human rights (if they were, you could make a good case for laws requiring marry or have sex with someone who is otherwise unable to procure it on their own). That's not to say that this produces many struggles for people who experience different things, but again this is for another post.

Third question: papal infallibility. This again is a very complex topic and I'm by no means an expert on ecclesiology but I'll give a basic overview of what I understand. Basically, the Catholic Church (and, as I understand it, most religions) makes objective claims. Claims about reality. Either God exists or He doesn't, and that fact isn't changed by whether or not anyone believes it. When the pope, and the Magisterium in general, teaches, they're not changing reality- they're telling us something that is already true and has always been true. With this, we also know that the infallible authority of the Magisterium (that is, the bishops of the Catholic Church, all in direct lineage by ordination to the twelve apostles, of which the Pope is the shepherd) applies to teaching. The Church makes no infallible claims about anything else. Now within the teaching of the Catholic Church there are different levels of teaching. There's dogma, which we rarely change, but that the Pope does have the authority to change, but only has done so a very small number of times throughout history. These are like basic truths about what it means to be Catholic, such as the dogma of the Immaculate Conception of Mary. Mary was always the Immaculate Conception, she didn't suddenly become it once the Pope proclaimed it ex cathedra. But we do trust that when the Pope speaks dogma, that he is guided by the holy spirit in doing so, and that what he says is true. The pope speaks infallibly elsewhere besides dogma, such as canonizing Saints - once someone is canonized, we know without a doubt that they are in heaven. But these things are already true, and the Pope just tells everyone that it is true. If the Pope says something that we already know to not be true, such as if he were to say that marriage can be between two men or two women, then that wouldn't become true and we wouldn't believe it. We actually have detailed guidelines on what constitutes the development of doctrine versus the corruption of doctrine. Check out St. John Henry Newman's book Grammar of Assent for more detailed info on that. (Someone please correct me if that's not the right book). The Pope / the Magisterium also has other roles, such as telling us how to practice our religion - it is objectively true that we need to keep holy the Sabbath day, however it is up to the Magisterium to determine what constitutes 'keeping holy the Sabbath day,' in this case, largely, going to Mass (and the Magisterium tells us what the Mass is and what if anything would invalidate the Mass). Also not eating meat on Fridays in lent, that's a thing for the Magisterium to decide about.

Anyway that was a lot but I hope you enjoyed it! If you have any more questions don't hesitate to ask!

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

I hope this doesn’t come across poorly, or like I’m judging anyone, but I really do hope that Lottie is okay and prepared for this relationship (and negative attention garnered from it). I’m not in or from the uk so I can’t judge what the mainstream media is like, but the tabloid fodder I’ve seen has been pretty full on and consistently tying it to Caroline’s death. It just seems like it would be so much to deal with, when your occupation heavily relies on media.

Anon 2:  It’s not my business but I can’t help but feel worrie+d for lottie

**************

I’m also really worried about Lottie anons.  As I said recently I worry a bit about everyone in this current environment.  But there are particular reasons to worry about young women who have experienced a lot of trauma.

Part of the reason that I haven’t expressed that response is that I feel fandom has developed worrying about women as a way of attacking them and denigrating them into a fine art.  Neither of your asks do that - you’re both very respectful and boundaried. But they made me think about the challenge of how to express concern for someone in a way that wasn’t a form of criticism, or reinforcing existing judgement stigma and power structures. 

So what I’m going to do in this ask is get slightly meta and ask - how can we express our worry for Lottie in a way that respects boundaries and isn’t actually a form of criticism?

And I think the first anon offers a really good starting point.  The British tabloids fucking suck - and they do real damage to the people they write about.  I think it’s appropriate to be worried about any person, and particularly any woman (although the list of other people who I’m particularly concerned about is super long) who is being written about by the British tabloids.  They’re super vicious and damaging.  

I think a great starting point in making sure that you’re not being misogynist towards a woman when worrying about how she’s doing is to acknowledge how shit and misogynist the world is. There is such a gulf of difference between: ‘look at how badly she’s doing a world that hates people like her’.  And ‘fuck the world is hard, I hope she’s OK.’  Once you make this distinction, it becomes easy to tell the difference, because you can see whether people are focusing on what an individual woman is doing, or the difficulties of the world.

Small side note - we’re all going to feel moments of ‘ha ha isn’t that person I don’t like doing a terrible job of navigating this world that hates them’.  But expressing them to a wide audience can only ever do harm.  It perpetuates the idea that it’s possible to navigate a world that hates you well and legitimises the world’s hate.  I feel very old fashioned whenever I advocate for this, but I do really believe that there are lots of responses that we have to the world that should not be broadcast on any platform that means they could be spread widely, and they should only be shared with a small number of people to help process them.

But there is an aspect of your ask that I want to push back on a bit first anon.  I think it’s really important to be careful with language like ‘prepared for this relationship’ - it seems to me quite related to ‘I hope she knows what she’s getting herself in to’.  Both these suggest that there’s a way women can avoid being hurt by a misogynist world, if they’re smart and aware enough.  And I don’t think that’s true.  

To summarise - I think if you’re worried about a woman the best way to express that is to focus on the difficulty of the conditions she’s trying to navigate, rather than what she’s doing.  That’s not to deny her agency, but to emphasise that agency is not enough to magically do away the oppression, pain and trauma of the world. 

[cblgblog]

I have just…so many problems with Irondad, some of which I’ve seen expressed already, some not, and I need to say this at least once.

I don’t believe the common anti-Irondad thing that says Tony never cared about Peter. He did, in his very Tony, very problematic way. He loves Peter, I think, very much the way Howard loved him. We only got glimpses of Howard as a dad, mostly from Tony’s perspective, but we can make assumptions here. Howard probably thought Tony was the greatest thing in the world, and a blast to hang out with. Whenever Howard wanted to be a dad. He would’ve loved teaching Tony things, showing him off, having fun with him. But when Howard didn’t want to hang out? When Howard was working on something important? No, sorry, dad mode off, go away, Maria come get him. We see that with Peter and Tony. All Peter wants is acceptance, another mission with Tony. He wants validation. But he can’t even reach Tony because Tony’s put Happy in charge of him, and Happy doesn’t want to deal with some stupid kid in Queens, at least during Homecoming. It’s a very Howard move, parenting/mentoring when it’s convenient.

Which, you know what? Not in and of itself horrible. Tony would learn what he lived, and follow it. It makes sense, generational patterns and all that. It could’ve led to an interesting story, about Peter or someone else in Tony’s life pointing out the parallels, and then Tony has a moment of realization and tries to correct. I wouldn’t have loved that story, because Peter’s storyline being so connected with Tony’s at the expense of his own has always bothered me, but it could’ve been done decently.

What do we get instead? We get Tony paying lip service in Homecoming to wanting to break the cycle, and then totally failing at that 5 minutes later. He was mad, he was scared, that’s legit. People say unfair things when they’re reacting out of fear. But he tears Peter down for what happened on the ferry, and makes him feel like shit. Why? Because Tony had the FBI involved, Peter was meant to stay away, and he didn’t. Well how the hell was Peter supposed to know that? He can’t talk to Tony at all. Happy’s been ghosting him for months. The last time he thought Tony was there for him, it was one of the suits, Tony was still off in Tony’s world. How would Peter ever think that Tony had heard him this time, and was taking action? Tony didn’t tell him as much. Happy didn’t. All either of them would need to do is send a text saying hey, I hear you, I’m on this, I have people on this. But Tony is Tony, he can’t tie his shoes without Pepper, and he has either a hyperfixated attention span, or none at all, depending on the day. He either forgot to tell Peter, or worse, didn’t think it necessary. And if he was a proper mentor, if he knew Peter at all, he would know that Peter’s sense of responsibility was going to kick in there, unless he had reason to believe things were going to be okay without him.

Tony doesn’t know Peter. He puts an instant kill function on a 15-year-old kid’s suit because he thinks it’s a cool feature, and he enjoys building cool things. If he knew Peter at all, Tony would know that Peter’s a no kill hero. You can argue that those advanced features weren’t meant to be hacked into, so it’s not Tony’s fault. Except it is. Tony admits in CW that he hacked the Pentagon in high school on a dare. He knows that genius boys do stupid things. He knows teenagers don’t follow rules. He knows that if you tell a kid not to do a thing, you’re just guaranteeing he’ll want to do it more now. Tony may not know exactly how smart Peter is (I’m sure he doesn’t), but he has enough of an idea that safety measures, actual measures, should’ve been in place. Instead of a hackable training wheels protocol? Just keep those features off his first suit, save them for the next model, when the kid’s ready. We know Tony doesn’t mind building new models of suits. But Tony doesn’t do that, because Tony.

Yeah, the instant kill came in handy in Endgame against Thanos’s army. Still doesn’t make it okay.

Again, it reeks of Howard style parenting. You didn’t use this awesome thing I gave you right? Here then, I’m taking it away. No talks, no explanations or compromise or Tony training Peter to avoid the mistakes he so wants Peter to avoid, just, we’re done. Which is exactly how Howard probably would’ve handled it. I let you in my lab once and you broke something you didn’t know how to use? Okay, well, never doing that again.

To be clear, I don’t blame Tony for yanking the suit, exactly. It was a very human, kneejerk reaction. And more importantly, it allowed Peter to show that he did not need Tony’s toys to be a hero. The problem is that Tony, as usual, never gets to realize his mistakes. Peter yells at him a little right before the suit gets taken about not being listened to, but Tony doesn’t retain any of it. It doesn’t matter. He never has a moment of, what I did here was not okay and this is why. What do we get instead? Him telling Peter at the end of Homecoming how Peter screwed up, but hey, you fixed it. You were dumb, but you fixed it. No acknowledgement that Tony screwed up anything. Because, of course not. The lesson for Tony isn’t hey, I went too fast with this kid, he wasn’t ready, I didn’t prepare him. There is no lesson. Tony, as in basically every appearance since Iron Man 3, learns nothing.

Oh, and the Homecoming ending. Yeah. Tony sees no problem with having a 15-year-old move into the mansion and go full-time Avenger. His aunt, his guardian? Nah, why would she mind that, it’s fine.

I’ve talked elsewhere about my problems with Infinity War Irondad, but basically, most of Tony’s interaction with Peter there involves telling him to shut up, the grownups are talking, you’re not supposed to be here, you’re too young and dumb. Even when Peter absolutely helps the team. Also, too young and dumb? He wasn’t 5 minutes ago, when you were going to make him an Avenger, and he was the one smart enough to realize this was a bad idea. Tony’s so mad Peter didn’t listen to him and go home. If he’d truly listened, he’d have been an Avenger at the start of the film, so he’d be there anyway.

The dusting scene with him and Peter? It hurt. It was brutal and beautiful. That’s because Tom Holland, and yes, RDJ, can act, not because it was earned by the narrative of the last three movies.

As for Endgame. That photo Tony has of him and Peter goofing off. So cute, right? Probably taken at some point before May knew the truth, as a hey, we need a cover story for your aunt, but, you know,  it’s fine. I don’t doubt Tony loved Peter. That he grieved Peter and felt his loss for 5 years, and maybe that’s part of why he’s such a good dad to Morgan. But he didn’t love Peter the right way. He did it selectively. He missed him when he was gone, but didn’t pay enough attention when he was alive. The hug near the end was beautiful, but unearned.

And then there’s May and Ben. May does not deserve to be villainized, killed off, or flat-out ignored the way she is in so many fanon interpretations just so Irondad can be a thing. May helped Peter prepare for his homecoming dance last minute. She got him dressed, taught him how to tie a tie, taught him to dance. All while Tony was back to ignoring him. But assume for a second that this had happened earlier, when Peter was still technically in Tony’s good books. Assume for a second that he’d been able to reach Tony and ask for advice, because he’s scared and excited and needs help. Tony would’ve made a few jokes about spiked punch, a few more crude, sexist jokes about Peter’s date, and signed off. May dropped everything and spent hours helping this kid, reassuring him. May is so unappreciated and flat-out abused by some of the fanbase, and it’s gross.

And Ben. Who’s Ben? Have we even heard his name in any of the movies Peter’s appeared in yet? Oh, we got his initials on a suitcase in FFH, not even a verbal acknowledgement. Great. I am not advocating an origin story. We’ve seen it, we know the basics, it’s fine. But Ben has been shown, for almost 60 years, to be the most influential person in Peter’s life. Losing Ben the way he did shaped Peter’s whole life afterward. And we have yet to see a photo? An old video? A 30 second flashback scene? We don’t know any of the MCU’s version of how Ben was killed. At all. Are they for some reason going with a rewrite where Peter had nothing to do with it? Don’t know, because it’s been 5 movies so far and they’ve given us nothing. Ben’s death regularly tops lists of the most influential deaths in comics, and we have nothing. Instead we get scene after scene of Tony perpetuating a dysfunctional relationship with Peter, and never facing consequences, or even realizing it.

By the way? Ben, if he’s anything like any canon version ever, would hate Tony. Ben is consistently shown before his death to be a very hands-on parent. He doesn’t understand most of Peter’s science stuff, but he encourages it, and stays involved as much as he can. He, barring a truly monumental canon rewrite that we know nothing about if it happened, taught Peter that great power means great responsibility. Contrast this with Tony, who as stated, pays more attention to building Peter cool suits than he does Peter. Who, on being confronted by a mother about the death of her son, caused by him, does what? Immediately wants to shift all responsibility to the government, so that the next time he screws up, he can say he was just following the law. Who was confronted by a grieving mother, and then 5 minutes later came into May Parker’s home and lied to her face. Something he continued to do, and would’ve continued, if May hadn’t found the truth on her own. He lies to her, takes her underage son (yes I’m saying son because she and Ben raised that boy, not Tony) out of the country without her knowledge. He threatened to reveal Peter’s identity to get him there. He does not tell Peter that the Accords would’ve done that anyway. He doesn’t tell Peter much of anything about why he’s there or what he’s fighting for. Either because he knows that telling the truth means not having Peter on his side, or because he simply doesn’t care to. Either way is gross, manipulative, disgusting, and would have Ben Parker rolling in his grave.

Yeah, it was fun having Peter in CW. Some of his scenes with Tony are genuinely fun. The above points though? Still stand.

So yeah, Irondad. in theory, okay. It makes sense that Peter would want guidance, a mentor after Ben died. It makes sense he’d look up to Tony. They could have addressed Howard’s shitty parenting via Tony’s shitty parenting, and maybe told an interesting story with it by contrasting Tony’s parenting style to Ben’s. Irondad in actual canon? There’s no parenting. There’s child endangerment, verbal abuse, and no payoff to any of it. The most we get is Happy admitting in FFH that Tony was a mess, but not for all the right reasons. He gets called out for other things, if you can even say he’s called out. Not for his awful treatment of an impressionable minor who’d lost his real father (Ben, assuming they stick with comics and have Peter lose his parents at a very young age).

I will never stop saying that Peter deserved better. I hope he gets it now that Tony’s gone.

[missusgordo]

Whenever I see people who ship a certain ship talk about the Bangel age difference as creepy I always want to point out that James has said he played Spike as being attracted to Buffy immediately. Given Buffy was still 16 when they met does that not make them hypocrites? It’s even weirder when they call it creepy that someone two hundred would be attracted to someone so young because they’d have nothing in common. But apparently being over 100 and into a 20 year old in college is different

Yeah and ultimately, the age issue ignores that this is a work of FANTASY.. Angel and Sp*ke are also technically … dead. Both of them are old as dirt. Buffy’s life expectancy is like early 20s because she fights the forces of evil (again Fantasy show). In any vampire story you have a large age discrepancy because the vampire is… immortal? Twilight. TVD. etc.

I’ve written about this before here but while Angel may be 200+ it’s pretty clear that at the time he was cast on BtVS he was meant to be 19/20 at the age he was turned. This is consistent with Joss’ original script calling him just old enough to be called a man - maybe twenty. When I was watching the show live Angel looked no different in age than Xander or Owen. DB sure as shit looked younger than Dylan McKay did in both 90210 and in the OG Buffy movie (hello receding hairline?) By the time Angel gets to AtS calling DB a 19/20-year-old (at the time he was turned) is not just a hard sell it also doesn’t fit with the aim of AtS which is about finding your place in early adulthood (early 20s). 

Also, if we want to get technical Sp*ke *realizes* he is in love with Buffy when she is only 19 years old (s5 out of my mind). Which indicates that he may have ‘fallen in love’ with her when she was 18? maybe even younger if you believe some of the theories you mention. And he was turned into a vampire even later in life than Liam (early 30s). And yeah he’s over 100. But honestly, none of that bothers me because again, it’s a vampire “love” (I use quotes because… well it’s sp*ffy) story and it’s just par for the course. Literally, no one is sitting here advocating for you to let your real life normal teenage daughter date centuries-old dead guys.

Buffy and Angel’s age difference WAS an issue they had in their relationship. But more along the lines of a young woman finishing HS/starting college and that of someone in college/graduating college. In fact, Marti used this very example in a commentary or interview once. It was much more about where they were in their lives than anything nearly as disgusting as some fans paint it to be. 

But ultimately, fans can read the story in any way they see fit. If you go in with this mentality, though, I think you miss out on a wonderful storyline in s1/2 because that is clearly not the narrative the show was conveying. I chose to look at the story within the context of what the writers were trying to convey.