#she has/had so much potential to be an immovable force of nature

[mercurialskiies]

sometimes i wonder if it was intentional (and the more i read back on these books the more i’m certain of it) for emira maresh to have an affinity for ice magic.

she views herself as being capable of breaking everything she touches (ice, being one of the more fragile things in the world besides probably glass), but what’s so ironic about the whole thing is that the basis of ice is water. mutable. resilient and subject to change because it’s a liquid and not a solid.

which almost makes me wonder what could have been of emira maresh if she had gotten to realize that

[eldritchamy]

What the shit. Fighting a god in hand to hand combat as a gold dragon using immovable rods goes so fucking hard and it’s the backstory for a character that’s just in the main backstory???????? AMY???

You know how a lot of people, when making DND characters, make the mistake of having their level 1 PC have an elaborate backstory where they're super badass and already recognized as a hero?

When I made Ash I did the opposite. Her backstory is elaborate, yes, but in very mundane ways that inform her personality and how she perceives the world around her, and build up the logic of how she makes decisions.

I made everyone AROUND my PC a super powerful character who had done incredible things, and I gave Ash anxiety about it.

She feels, constantly, that she is inadequate by comparison. Her entire frame of reference is shaped by a bunch of women in her life that are outstandingly powerful, and she's just a quiet girl who makes leather goods and sells them for a living. She thinks of herself as the NPC in other people's more impressive lives.

Her mother, Lailah, is a nearly seven foot tall divine warrior created in Elysium to destroy Pit Fiends. She's an angel of lightning built like an MMA fighter, and she wields a weapon like piece of a lightning bolt (not stylized, I mean a real, glowing crackling arc of electricity that she holds like a staff and can be used like anything from a polearm to a spear to a whip, and when thrown it acts like a Lightning Bolt spell). She is built, both narratively and in game stats, to be an unkillable holy destroyer, capable of fighting MULTIPLE PIT FIENDS simultaneously, and winning. She's a CR 10+ magical creature (she's a homebrewed mix of Deva and Erinyes stat blocks with some unique flavor) with eighteen class levels, 16 in Zealot Barbarian and 2 in Fighter. She has a strength of 27 and a constitution of 25. She's designed to deal HUGE amounts of damage, tank unfathomable amounts in turn, NOT DROP WHEN SHE HITS ZERO HITPOINTS, and keep swinging until every devil in her way is a pile of dust, then use bonus action Second Wind to bring herself back above 0 so she doesn't incur the auto-death caveat on Zealot Barbarian's Rage Beyond Death ability. One of her attuned items is also the very simple uncommon item "Periapt of Wound Closure" which automatically stabilizes you at the start of your turn, thereby resetting the death saving throws she would theoretically have to make each time she gets hit below 0. Also, as an angel, she's innately immune to auto-death effects like Power Word Kill, which closes almost all loopholes that get around her build. She is UNSPEAKABLY badass. I ran a simulated round of combat with her once, and she could potentially one-shot a CR 15 Skittering Horror (228 HP) in a single turn. Her theoretical maximum damage output is like, 456 damage in a turn (granted this assumes all crits and rolling max damage).

So that's Ash's mom.

Aria is interesting. She was always strongly attuned to the forces of nature, and her magic grew quickly. Where Ash grew up with someone she knew would always be there to protect her from anything, Aria did NOT have that safety net, and spent her formative years learning to be more self-sufficient in terms of relying on her own power. So eventually she got sucked into an adventuring party consisting of herself (a tiefling Witch subclass with very strong druid flavor), a tiefling zealot barbarian, and a couple of elf twins who were an Arcana cleric and a Celestial Warlock. Sometime after they had made a name for themselves, they were tasked with stopping a suspected fledgling vampire who had been kidnapping girls and killing a bunch of people. When they arrived, they met Cass, who was very much NOT a new vampire. She was almost 150 years old and had been protecting women from abusers and overzealous debt collectors, and things had gotten a little messy with one or two of them, leading to a lot more attention than she normally got. They start off fighting Cass (Aria polymorphs herself into a dire wolf and lunges directly for the throat, which Cass found amusing and impressive) but realize in the banter that Cass wasn't the real problem, and she ends up being a sort of a lesson for the group in terms of whose word they trust and who they take jobs from (YES THE BACKSTORY'S BACKSTORY HAS NARRATIVE ARCS AND MORAL LESSONS THAT LEAD TO LONG TERM CHARACTER GROWTH OKAY I CAN'T HELP MYSELF). Cass, having a particular rapport with Aria, ends up joining their party as a dhampir Soulknife Rogue/Shadow Monk.

Yes, that's all backstory that I made up for an imaginary campaign that exists entirely as a set piece for Aria as one of Ash's story NPCs. This doesn't even touch on the fact that I liked Cass so much as a character that I gave HER an entire backstory of her own. I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM.

Anyway the team only makes a bigger name for themselves for handling things that other groups can't. Eventually, they just happen to be in the Tenth District when the War of the Spark happens (major established event in the MTG canon), and I basically added some extra "scenes" to it that didn't violate existing canon so I could have that be the climax of their imaginary campaign. One of Aria's partners was a new planeswalker at the time and her spark got harvested by the Dreadhorde, specifically by the god eternal Bontu.

Gods in Magic The Gathering aren't honestly that special? They don't seem to have THAT much power, all things considered. Ravnica's gods are mostly powerful magical animals, and in the most recent Magic Story one of their gods (Anzrag the Quake Mole) was captured in an "evidence capsule" (basically Magic's version of a Pokeball). The most powerful god in MTG is probably the Ur Dragon honestly, unless you count the Eldrazi, but that's a whole other conversation since neither of those actually have the "God" creature type.

Anyway, Bontu was one of the gods of Amonket (basically a plane based on ancient Egypt), which had been conquered by an Elder Dragon planeswalker named Nichol Bolas. HE was the one who actually killed all but one of Amonket's gods, and then another planeswalker named Liliana Vess (extremely powerful necromancer) raised them as zombies for his army, because Bolas had a ton of complicated leverage over her (magical contract that he could invoke to kill her if she betrayed him). So Bontu was a god zombie.

Here's a reference:

Well, Aria was a level 18 Witch at this point since this was the climax of their campaign, so she had access to the Shapechange spell, a 9th level transmutation that lets you become any creature with a challenge rating equal or lower than your character level. And the best candidate for that was an Adult Gold Dragon (CR 17). So Aria goes full berserk and stands up on her dragon hind legs and picks a fight with a dead god that she's determined to make deader, and has a Godzilla vs King Ghidorah standoff with her.

So how do you fight a god that can suck your soul out and instantly kill you with a single touch? You don't let it touch you.

What Aria did was basically inspired by this gif of a Wildebeest trying to charge at a lion:

Or this:

And to be clear, yes, I'm saying Aria was the lion in that situation. She basically did a big dragon threat display to get Bontu's attention, and used the Gold Dragon's weakening breath to give Bontu disadvantage on Strength checks and saves. Bontu charged at her, and at the last second Aria dropped to the ground and then shot back up, clamped her teeth around the god's throat, and used her weight to throw Bontu around and knock her off balance, and her superior strength to grab her by the wrists and wrestled her to the ground so she couldn't get a grip on Aria. She had every part of the god that could have killed her pinned, and used the claws of her wings to pull Bontu's armor apart and tear at everything she could reach while thrashing her around. It was Fen, the Arcana cleric, who thought to use Immovable rods to pin Bontu down so that even if Aria lost her grip, Bontu wouldn't be able to immediately one-shot any of them. So Athena (barbarian) and Cass (rogue/monk) as the two martial classes were the ones who got close enough to handle that while Fen and her sister (Gwen) used whatever holy magic they could to help from a distance.

Now CASS had a problem, because she's a DEX based martial class, not a strength based one. She needed a boost to be able to get this job done. So she drank some of Bontu's blood from one of the wounds Aria had left on her arm to give herself a burst of strength. Except. She had to get real close to do that. And Bontu managed to get a loose grip on her, and tried to suck out her soul.

The magic that makes Cass what she is is very old and very powerful. It binds her soul to her body in a much stronger way than any living creature, fusing the two together to prevent her from dying (i.e. by having her soul separated from her body; Cass can recover from almost any conceivable physical injury as long as there's life energy, in the form of blood, for the magic that keeps her alive to feed on and maintain the seal between her body and her soul). BECAUSE SHE WAS FEEDING ON THE BLOOD OF A GOD AT THE TIME, the magic holding her together basically fought against the magic that was trying to rip her soul out, and it had enough fuel to hold on until Aria's thrashing forced Bontu to let go. So Cass survived the Elderspell thanks to a very weird and unrepeatable set of circumstances (which allows something narratively impressive and legendary to happen without being gamebreakingly overpowered and violating the established rules of the world).

Because of how her magic draws energy from other things, though, there was a side effect: she also accidentally took in one of the planeswalker sparks that Bontu had harvested. So when Cass had healed enough for her soul to no longer be dislocated, her spark activated and she became a Planeswalker. (I imagine a soul is connected to a body mostly through the nervous system, because that's how a brain holds consciousness in it, so a "dislocated" soul is like something glued to every nerve ending in your body being pulled on with an enormous amount of force, trying to sever that connection; imagine trying to pull yourself off the ground when every nerve ending in your body is superglued to the floor by something akin to the Strong Nuclear Force. It SUCKED.)

The team ended up being forced to retreat because of Cass' injuries, so Aria didn't actually manage to kill Bontu personally (or die trying, which in her grief-rage she was fully open to). Right about this time, my bottle scene ends and Magic canon comes back into play: Liliana betrays Bolas and turns the Dreadhorde against him, and Bontu ends up being the one who bites him and rips out HIS spark. Due to the enormous rush of energy of consuming all of Bolas' stolen Planeswalker sparks (tl;dr he was trying to become a god), and with the added bit of lore that it was Aria's team that heavily injured Bontu just prior to this, Bontu exploded in the process.

This resulted in Ravnica playing a game of telephone in the chaotic aftermath of the War. Aria fought a god. She's still alive and that god is dead. Rumors spread and now Aria is misremembered as the one who killed Bontu. Half the plane thinks of her as the "god killer." All she wanted was to avenge her lover or die trying.

Neither outcome happened, and now she's credited with the very thing she sees as her greatest failure. And that trauma has haunted her ever since.

[novemberhope]

Leilani (Pokemon Alola Project)

Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable? laws what laws? xD flexible^^

Do they swear? yes, a lot

Where in the world does your OC feel most at home? currently at the Lottervilla

What color do they look best in? pink

Who are this characters friends and found family? Team Skull

Do they have any piercings or tattoos? No

Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap? She goes after what or who she wants

What is their phone background/lock screen? A stylish picture of herself with her Felinara

How competent would your oc be in a survival situation? Would they be better off on their own or in a group? She would get things done because she doesn't care who gets hurts in the process. She's a force to be reckoned with. However, she would benefit from the group more.

What inspired you to create them? I wanted a fairy-type/princess-like OC this time with lot's of pink and girlish stuff.

Are they messy, or do they clean up? Well, her room is clean but messy, as in it's getting cleaned regularly (not by her) but she just throws her stuff everywhere

How much thought does your oc put into what they wear/look like? A lot of thought. She will not leave her room if she does not look perfect.

Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look? Her hair color has changed a lot and possible her clothing style as well

What is their favorite pokemon? Felinara

How well would your oc handle being placed in a leadership position? She would love to do it but she would be very unpopular and not do a very good job

What is your character’s favourite season? Summer

What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.)? Her appearance, followed by her name

Did you design them with any other characters/OCs from their universe in mind? nope

How did you choose their name? I read it in a story and it was just so pretty, I really wanted to use it in this project

Personality type:

Entrepreneur ESTP-A Entrepreneurs are savvy, energetic, and very perceptive people who truly enjoy living on the edge.

People with a choleric temperament are typically characterized as being decisive, focused, and goal-oriented. They have a strong drive to get things done and are often perceived as leaders due to their proactive nature and ability to take initiative.

Choleric individuals tend to be highly practical, rational, and logical, often thriving in environments where systematic strategies and problem-solving abilities are required. They excel at seeing the bigger picture and setting long-term objectives, often making them excellent strategic planners.

However, their high degree of ambition and determination can sometimes be perceived as aggressive or overbearing. They are often seen as domineering, and they may struggle with interpersonal relationships due to their strong will and desire for control.

Choleric individuals can also struggle with empathy and may come across as unsympathetic or insensitive, as they tend to prioritize tasks and objectives over personal feelings. Their fast-paced nature and demand for high standards can lead them to be impatient and easily frustrated with others who do not share their sense of urgency or level of commitment.

On the positive side, their energy and drive can be contagious, inspiring others to act and strive towards the established goals. Despite their potential to be seen as tough or stern, cholerics are usually incredibly dedicated, responsible, and reliable - when they set a goal, they will do whatever it takes to achieve it.

Their decisiveness and ability to take charge make them natural leaders in the workplace, and their confidence and clear vision can help guide teams effectively towards objectives. With self-awareness and efforts to improve their interpersonal skills, cholerics can be highly successful and influential individuals.

http://easydamus.com/alignmenttest.html Chaotic Evil

Chaotic Evil- A chaotic evil character does whatever his greed, hatred, and lust for destruction drive him to do. He is hot-tempered, vicious, arbitrarily violent, and unpredictable. If he is simply out for whatever he can get, he is ruthless and brutal. If he is committed to the spread of evil and chaos, he is even worse. Thankfully, his plans are haphazard, and any groups he joins or forms are poorly organized. Typically, chaotic evil people can be made to work together only by force, and their leader lasts only as long as he can thwart attempts to topple or assassinate him. Chaotic evil is sometimes called demonic because demons are the epitome of chaotic evil. Chaotic evil is the best alignment you can be because combines self-interest and pure freedom. However, chaotic evil can be a dangerous alignment because it represents the destruction not only of beauty and life but also of the order on which beauty and life depend.

[sepublic]

Kraid!

KKKKKRRRRAAAAAIIIIIIDDDDD

I was trying to avoid as much of Metroid Dread as possible to be surprised... But then I learned KRAID is back, in glorious HD as part of a mainline game and...

Oh, he’s beautiful!

Seriously, I’ve always wanted to see more of Kraid! Dude was one of the OG Space Pirates alongside Mother Brain and Ridley, who are present throughout the series; And as someone who is apparently Ridley’s Brother-in-Arms, I’m just really curious on what he could be like?

I doubt we’ll get much if anything in terms of personality, but that’s how Metroid games work anyway! Hopefully we get more lore on Kraid, how is he still alive? Does he have regenerative abilities, is he just really incredibly durable? An X-parasite imitation? Fake Kraid has grown up and this is Sclayd? Did the Chozo clone him, maybe even somehow resurrect him from a dead body, or even the afterlife considering their borderline mystical abilities???

Either way, that’s clever of the designers to have Kraid be restrained, as a meta explanation as to why he doesn’t just charge forward- Thus allowing the developers to start off with a traditional take on the Kraid fight... But since he manages to break an arm free in the trailer, the fight might progress and get more deadly, as Kraid becomes more free.

His neck brace will probably be the last to go, to show a sort of natural transition from the traditional style of Kraid fights, to a more modernized take and I am all FOR it! Everyone’s wondering if Ridley will return, but Kraid alone would MORE than make up for his absence, especially since Ridley is already so prevalent while Kraid has only gotten bread crumbs and the Brinstar Depths stage in recent years!

This is like a dream come true... And obviously Kraid is set up to fight Samus, but it’d be kind of neat to see an arc where him and Samus recognize a mutual enemy in the Chozo, and work with each other over it? Probably not, but I feel this would be more plausible than Samus and Ridley working together; A fun thought exercise I’d always entertained, but there really isn’t that personal vitriol between Samus and Kraid.

...I mean, there COULD be if Kraid takes Ridley’s death personally, but who knows, he might hold off on revenge just long enough for a practical escape! Regardless, I utterly adore just how gnarly and twisted this guy looks, it reminds me of Ridley’s Smash Ultimate renders that really modernize his look, breathe a new and alien life to it while still being the same! And the added, slimy body horror, borderline insectoid, like Smash Ridley!

But yes, I appreciate Metroid Dread taking the opportunity to be new, instead of trying to cater to the mainstream audience as an official return to pull them back, especially since we already had Samus Returns do that, especially with Proteus Ridley being thrown in! And with how Proteus was by far the best Ridley fight in the series, I can’t WAIT to see how Mercury Steam gives a new action to a Kraid boss battle!

And it looks like there might be a passageway behind Kraid that he’s guarding... Kind of like his previous appearances, I love Kraid being a giant guard dog- His girth and weight alone makes him an impenetrable wall! Plus he gives immovable object vibes, VS Ridley as an Unstoppable Force.

Ridley moves fast and aggressively leads the charge, while Kraid is less mobile, can’t even fit through most passageways; But holds down the fort and line of defense, tanking damage and shrugging it off compared to someone who heals from it!

Seriously, this is great seeing this under appreciated Space Pirate represented! I’ve always been salty about Meta Kraid being left out of Metroid Prime... And Kraid’s got a distinct identity of his own as one of the biggest bosses in the entire series by a long shot!

His big, colossal, green and chunky frame, that brutishness to Kraid, the size and brawn- It’s a nice contrast and foil to Ridley’ who is memetically huge in general, but from a relative standpoint averagely-sized as a boss, and MUCH scrawnier than the Awakened Behemoth; But he makes up for it wit speed and agility, flight, etc.!

Plus the concept of taking on a full-on Kaiju of the series, Metroid’s Godzilla... I always felt like there was a wasted potential to Kraid and how he stood out as a counterpart to Ridley’ more of the lumbering mountain to scale compared to the acrobatic Cunning God of Death! His Kaiju size, the way the ground could easily tremble from each footstep like Jurassic Park...

If Ridley is a Xenomorph, make Kraid into Godzilla and Rexy and every giant monster whose sheer scale inspires a horror based in awe, one that is huge and grandiose and demands attention and seizes all of it, gloriously basking in full view, in contrast to the more stealthy and subtle Ridley!

They’re both reptilian Space Pirates who debuted with the franchise, serve Mother Brain alongside one another as the two guardians to Tourian. And just like Ridley taking one of the recurring boss themes from Super Metroid and adopting it as HIS theme, Kraid seems to have done the same by Zero Mission!

Plus, Brinstar Depths, AKA Kraid’s Lair, is SUCH a metal soundtrack! It doesn’t necessarily apply to Kraid himself, but I feel like there’s an enigmatic personality hinted with the eerie, melodic tune of this theme... So as someone who’s tried to write him, mostly in my head;

What kind of person is Kraid? What archetypes and roles would he fit? As a more casual type of arch-nemesis, compared to the personal intensity of Ridley? A dumb brute, or smart in his own way? What personality and vibes would make Kraid’s Lair fit as a theme for him?

At the very least, I wonder if we’ll get Space Pirate lore, maybe even origins as to Kraid and Ridley’s species? They’re both huge dragons who took over Zebes... Could there be a connection between Ridley’s species and the Chozo? Will we get a bit of sympathy for Kraid, seeing him captured like an animal by the Chozo, perhaps to test experiments upon and clone?

Will Dread encapsulate the realization of just how much of a bigger scope villain the True Chozo are, experimenting on Kraid the way the Galactic Federation did with Ridley’s clone, another parallel between them? Will we explore the dark past of the Chozo, and a potential tragic look into Kraid’s species- So Samus has a better understanding of how her people have been terrible in many ways, even if that doesn’t at all justify Kraid the person’s actions?

Just... Imagine a storyline where Samus realizes that Kraid was made by the Chozo, or his species was, or they were genetically augmented or massacred, or something like that. Just a twisted moment of realization that explains but doesn’t justify. Which could lead to Samus and Kraid teaming up for a prison breakout at a pivotal moment, Kraid’s girth would make him a helpful ally.

Perhaps Samus could weaponize Kraid in the background to take the brunt of the True Chozo’s attacks, while she takes on the leader? Could he help with environmental terrain, blind to the background as a colossal feature of the environment, a kaiju briefly on your side?

Could we get a Kraid fight where he attacks from the background, instead of to the right? Will he ultimately die helping Samus- More for his own gain and revenge, but still? Maybe even leading to a reluctant salute from Samus as she recognizes them both as people captured, as experimented upon by the Chozo? Apologies for all of the fanon conjecture, my mind is racing...!

I think there’s SO much potential with Kraid and seeing him full, unadulterated HD glory... It’s glorious. It’s magnificent! This is a dream come true, and I hope Kraid finally starts to get the recognition he deserves! Even if he’s just A boss fight, I’m already sated and content here- And I can only imagine the new wave of fan content that will spawn for Kraid, as he’s recognized a defining moment of Dread!

Plus, I’d love to see people characterize and give lore to Kraid... All in all I am LIVING and in triumph here!!! I know I keep using this meme but

Literally this alone, just these shots... Are ALL I really want and need, in the end! Bless you Mercury Steam for this food, for breathing new life into this franchise while renovating what really needs it! I don’t even care if Kraid’s return is never really explained, I’m incredibly happy here!

This new design... It just FITS and works as a new, evergreen design for Kraid honestly! Compared to Ridley who is a lot more varied and arguably inconsistent, even with his Smash render... THIS is the new and definitive Kraid for me, now! I am having the time of my LIFE here!

Ridley the Cunning God has cheated death... is Kraid the Behemoth has reawakened!

(With the idea of Prime Kraid being reused for Metroid Prime 4... I’m wondering if we’ll begin to see an all new Kraid renaissance? 👀 More frequent content as Nintendo starts giving him and more appearances and attention, including in other media and advertising, alongside Ridley???)

[kim-lexie]

hospital playlist.

i’ve got to say that this drama is one of my ultimate favorites, and this is no surprise. our genius director shin won-ho and lee woo-jung joined forces again to bring us this gem. i appreciated every facet we got to see and experience alongside these great characters. 

a little background: this drama follows the friendship of 5 medical doctors through their daily life, seeing a snapshot into hospital life. we of course get to see some flashback scenes that help depict their friendship development from university days as they played in a little band (hence the title hospital playlist) into their separate lives of the present as they reunite their band. this drama shows that no matter where life can take you, some friendships are meant to hold you through all seasons.

*now we are going to discuss themes, and characters in depth, so you’ve been warned spoilers are ahead*

these characters, as to be expected from our dynamic duo of creators, had many facets and dynamics within the friendship and with those around them. i incredibly loved each and every main character we got to know. they all had their struggles and shortcomings, however, as a team of friends they were able to overcome and tackle each roadblock in front of them. 

ik-joon was absolutely hilarious. our favorite general surgeon of course. he was always an uplifting spirit within the group of friends. i especially love his son, woo-joo the cutest nugget. you could see how much he treasured his son, and it was beautiful seeing how all of his friends rallied around him to help him during the time when he went through his divorce. i loved seeing his outgoing side in his approach to work and helping others, but rather hesitant ways to approach song-hwa. 

my main man, jeong-won. literally dream character (like can i find him in real life?!) he loves children, is a brilliant pediatric surgeon, and cares for his family. his family is incredibly wealthy and he uses his wealth and blessing for good in his ‘daddy long-legs program’ to support children needing surgery who are unable to afford it. however, his downfall to an extent is not being able to be selfish in ways when it is important for those around him for him to voice his opinion. overall, he was probably the most steadfast character and unmovable, until the very end where is truly mattered with gyeo-wool, our resident in general surgery with an eye for jeong-won. 

jun-wan our cardiothoracic surgeon. this man is insanely talented in his field and is leading the team. i loved how we were able to see him as the immovable surgeon who always did what was best for the patient and ensuring the best, as well as seeing him build up the surgeons learning under his guidance and teaching. then to seeing him being completely smitten with ik-sun, ik-joon’s younger sister. it was precious and i appreciated seeing various sides to his personality and character.

seok-hyeong our favorite unexpected ob/gyn. his character always surprised me. like everything he experienced from his mother and family situation with his father leaving his mother, his mother unable to divorce, and his father dying and leaving nothing to his mother but rather his mistress was devastating. seeing him originally smitten and heartbroken over song-hwa, to finding his way and potentially opening up his heart again to our girl min-ha. (please and thank you for season 2, i’ve shipped that). i appreciated all his little moments that showed us into his personality behind his stoic exterior.

our leading lady song-hwa, the fantastically incredible neurosurgeon. this woman is a queen, leading her field with expertise and a kind heart for her patients making those around her feel at ease. i really appreciated that they have her in the cast of characters in such a competitive expertise such as neurosurgery. her character was sweet, appearing timid at first glance but completely unshaken with whatever life threw at her. i found this piece especially when she found the lump in her breast, and when she approached it with her friends they were all ready to jump, but she had made peace with what was coming, but when it came down to it ik-joon was right by her side letting her be as she needed to be. she also cares immensely for ik-joon’s little on woo-joo. i loved how she went over when ik-joon needed to go in for emergency surgery but woo-joo had a fever, and she stayed with him all night. my heart broke when we found out that she had been the surgeon who was the doctor for our twin medical students jung hong-do and jung yun-bok. and how when she was describing her experience, and yun-bok started crying and how she wasn’t hesitant in embracing her in a hug and comforting her.  side note, i loved how she also had multiple love storylines that we experienced with her. from seok-hyung’s confession, to ik-joon repressing his feelings because of their friendship, to chi-hong starting to have feelings for her and acting on them and confessing, to ik-joon finally confessing. to our girl being unsure about what to exactly do. ahhhh so much (and i need answers as to what she is going to do.) 

the friendship between all these unique individuals is what really drew me in and kept me running alongside them. i was awaiting each week to see what was going to happen in all of their lives. i loved that through it all they always found the time to be consistent and talk and see each other. i loved all their moments when they came together from their karaoke rooms, to their band practices, to eating tteokbokki in their offices. you can see their nature of just being present for each other. 

the writing was stellar as always from this team, i appreciated all the dividends of life from their relationships with each other to their familial ties, and their relations with fellow residents and nursing staff in the hospital. i loved being able to see the somewhat trivial moments of the day to day as well as seeing the pivotal moments that helped shaped our cast of characters. 

i must say i also appreciate the nature of this medical drama. i am a nurse in a neonatal intensive care unit, and i typically am disappointed in the nature of the hospital setting and the explanation of treatments and silly nature of dynamics within hospital drama settings. however, with this drama i was pleasantly surprised by the realistic nature and attempt to accurately portray this setting. it was exciting when they had pediatric surgery and cardiology plots that made sense, along with obstetric birthing situations that were realistic. of course it had it moments but overall i was living my best life. the writers actually did their research! 

things i need to happen in season 2, because it has been confirmed to air in 2021 (and i freaking cannot wait!) i need some relationships to flourish please! including, seok-hyung and min-ha, jung-won and gyeo-wool, joon-wan and ik-sun, and of course ik-joon and song-hwa. okay so that’s not some but all the relationships to flourish please and thank you. i would love to see more woo-joo moments as well because his spicy little character was too precious and i need more of his sass. i would love to see more of these unique cases that they are able to collaborate on. i would also love some more band scenes of them all playing together and attempting to appreciate our girl song-hwa’s singing (loved that they had her character be horrible at singing, i’m sure she, as someone having a beautiful voice, loved playing this character up). so if i continue to speak this over, hopefully it will manifest soon!

[vwildmonk]

2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 11, 13 and 14?

B for you also!!

Also: If she were in smash/mario kart, what powers do you think she'd have and what would her vehicle look like???

What's your favorite thing about playing her?

Random thought you have about her that just won't leave your brain?

Putting under a read more as these got long again, but thanks for sending in the ask! Happy to take many more as these are always fun! Also looking forward after a game soon seeing how Lin centric answers change, she’s going to be going through some fun (and happy) things in her near future!

Also excellent extra Qs Frosty, love to see ‘em!

2.  How easy is it for your character to laugh? Laughter… oh tough one cos Lin, she does laugh quite frequently. But some of that is a forced laugh at the end of one of her own ‘look at the peckin’ idiot jokes’ or to misdirect things (both so others dont see and so she doesn’t always have to think too deeply about her words). But she also does laugh genuinely quite a bit as well; family shenanigans, silly stories over warm meals or steaming drinks, watching toon chaos go down that is safe and silly. It’s easy when you know her to get honest laughs- she’s open with those she loves and as they bring her joy the actual warm laughter comes easy. Something that is going to get even easier given time. It’s loud and bright and full of warmth and it’s going to be softer.

3. How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?) At the moment? A sharp drink of a sleeping potion and trying very hard to think happy thoughts as she blacks out- nightmares still come but she does try. Waking half-shifted too few hours later and fighting a shift isn't great... but she slept enough right? 

But In the future? It’s going to be better. Reading sometimes, but also a good cup of Stagehand’s special hot chocolate and a final chat with her boy are going to be important and soft. Making sure he’s asleep, sometimes staying with him to make sure he gets good dreams and nodding off herself. Other nights it’s getting herself in the comfiest pyjamas she can find, snagging a lullapop to put on the bedside table and doing some breathing exercises with Network humming songs to her. Nightmares might still happen, but with a major dangerous card off the table, she’s going to feel easier about getting support. Her dreams are going to get sweeter… and maybe one or two cuddle piles will be helpful. She always sleeps best when she knows family are near and safe, in either of the two places she calls home. The last thought she has when drifting off is the phantom of comforting hands she’s felt in the past full of love and reassurance, slipping into sweet dreams and true sleep knowing everything is alright.

4. How easy is it to earn their trust? It can be quite easy and also quite hard! She’s guarded and needs a reason to trust people. But there are ways, if you seem kind and caring and open- if she sees good and soft present? You show her through your acts that you are someone potentially safe to trust? She’s got a bleeding heart and a wish to help. Having people care for her back and trust in her confirms that bond, She will do her best to prove that the care is well placed. Other ways are steps: You help out children and she sees that? Congratulations you have a little bit of her trust. If she gives you her business card, you’re definitely working your way up as network, and if she invites you around or turns up to a place that you’ve invited her to more than once? Yeah you’ve definitely got her trust then- you might even be family.

5. How easy is it to earn their mistrust? Lin likes to think herself as a wary person, and she is- once bitten twice shy sort of thing- she can get quite railroading on her views. In this world if someone can harm you and gain something from it, they likely will- she’s seen that quite a bit from her cases. So if something sits wrong with her, or she finds things out that taint views, or someone just keeps pushing the wrong buttons it can break that trust or prevent it from ever forming. However, given time and proof Lin can learn to trust people even if she didn’t originally.

Breaking her trust? Withholding dangerous info from her or doing something that takes what little control she has out of her hand. Once you’ve broken or splintered the bond it is going to be incredibly hard to earn it back. 

She’ll beat herself up for months that she didn’t see it coming, or worse question where she went wrong that led to the moment happening. It’s a surefire way to get her walls up and once you’re on a mistrust list it’s tricky to find ways to get off them.

6. Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable? Oh another tough one! Lin sees laws as both. They can be flexible, you can find the loopholes and the strings and manipulate them so the system is the best it can be- work within it to keep people safe and as shielded as possible- with the Law backing you it makes it harder for things to go wrong. At the same time she sees the corruption in places and knows that if things go wrong that immovable authority and strong laws will be worse than hitting a brick wall. Just because laws can do good, doesn’t mean the people behind them always are. It’s one of the reasons she is so worried for Lil Boomer. If that kid gets into trouble enough to actually get caught by the authorities, she’s genuinely unsure how she could get the flexibility to make sure that little reelkind didn’t get hurt.

8. What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child Oh Lin had a lot of people giving her advice as a kid, many different stagehands helping her learn things and also beyond that. She’s got a few snippets she recalls best: “Start/keep exploring, there’s a world full of people Pompom, never stop seeing that.”, “”lil Lin, pompom, kiddo, please for the love of peckin’ gods stop leaping from the rafters to scare folks, do it like this!”, “Never be afraid to come in for a hug pompom dear, always ask permission first mind for most folks, but remember to keep being open- you’re a good kid, keep being soft eh?” … “Pompom… Lin please, whatever the peck is going on stop and talk to us Stop shoving us away! What’s happening to You?! What is wrong with your design? What is wrong with your face, this isn’t normal would you just- Lin Lil Lin Stagehand talk to us! -Kiddo!” 

11. How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)? If it’s for a case or for something related to someone she cares about, she seeks info out. Either clarifying with folks or doing some sleuthing and finding as many reports or related information snippets as she can. She might even straight up bluntly ask someone if something makes no peckin sense about them. Although she tries to have habit of tact for her inner circle when she asks questions, or with children. She tries to be soft as needed. Her track record of near perfect cases definitely proves that she has done her best over the years to limit confusion at all costs.

 If it’s something related to herself though, perhaps about the cure? She will dig up as much as she can but also likely spiral if she can’t find the source or the answer to the thing confusing her most. She’ll pretend everything is fine while internally going into panic spiral at ‘peckin detective can’t even help themself’. Nothing is ever simple or calm and so she can’t believe it if something is too easy, and she’ll drive herself into confusion if she listens to much to her paranoia.

13. What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color? Lin… doesn’t really know what colour she looks best in? She’s had the same outfit for as long as she can remember with the odd costume for a case or seasonal event. Navy and Red are her go to colours and she does suit them quite well when she is her natural true colour. In fact she does think she looks good in them, especially with her niece-jumper in gold-red-navy. So that’s her ‘best look’! 

When her fur has become the distressed russet the red kind of clashes a bit but that won’t be an issue forever. She’ll have to try out other colours someday, when she gets the time and energy to go clothes shopping, maybe try out autumnal or halloween themed colours, she’ll see how things go.

What animal do they fear most? Herself Wolves. She knows other wolves aren’t like the Thing that bit her, and the Thing in and of itself wasn’t fully wolf… whatever the peck it was is something else… but yeah, from her own shifting and knowledge of what she can do, and that memory of something lupine and huge hurtling at her from the dark… its definitely an animal that sparks her fear response and has her reaching for her broach and crossbow at the sound of a howl or a too big shadow. 

She will meet lycans in the future that help ease that, and seeing druids like her son be able to change to wolf form is cool… but if she doesn’t see it coming or one come at her from behind she will flinch and shield whoever’s closest to her and mentally be somewhere else for a second. 

An old fear that’s going to take a long while for her to be able to ease away. Wolves are wonderful creatures, she just has to break the association.

B) What inspired you to create them? Honestly? Toonkind in general. I saw my first session of it on YouTube when I was alone and wandering what to do with myself as my DnD adventure died with lockdown. But this whole new world of insane and amazing characters and stupendous people- it sparked such joy and life in me. Lin was formed from that joy, and then from there she has grown. I am so delighted by the stories I can tell with her and the people I have met through her. That creation inspiration has bloomed since then... in fact: Lin thinks in network connections, and in this instance, the Drafthouse server to me? Is a RAINBOW of inspiration.

Mario karts: 

Vehicle wise: She’d have something small, a very speedy little car in her signature colours and a very happy tooting little horn, does it have racing flames on the side? Absolutely bc she delights in the silly things even as she projects sensible detective as well. 

Special power move? You ever heard this little monkey swear? An explosion of tangible grawlix symbols in a rainbow of colours bursting from the car to knock people out of the way (followed by a very quiet version of her signature laugh).

Favourite thing about playing her? Interactions with others. Lin has built an amazing web of family that is full of love and warmth and softness. Getting to see her grow into that and reach back is something so soft that I am delighted to enable. Her CornMaze family, spooky grandparents, her son? her many adopted children and newfound friendly pecknecks? It’s the people that make it fun to play her and give her such life. She changes and grows and shifts even beyond what I think of her and so that makes it so exciting to play as I have no idea what the future will have in store.

…also not going to lie hearing people scream “Lin for peck sake NO” adds years to my lifespan as I cackle, she’s a beloved but so very dumb little monkey who makes poor life choices and audience reactions give me life.

[chaoswillfallrpg]

AMELIA BONES is TWENTY-SIX YEARS OLD and a TRAINEE PROSECUTION BARRISTER in THE DEPARTMENT OF MAGICAL LAW ENFORCEMENT at THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC. She looks remarkably like ADRIA ARJONA and considers herself NEUTRAL. She is currently DECEASED.

→ OVERVIEW:

With an internationally renown charms professor as a mother and a famous explorer as a father, it’s no surprise that Amelia Bones had turned into the woman she was today. Strong, confident, dedicated and loyal. She was a Paragon of a student and would let nothing get between herself and her goals. Amelia was born first, followed by VICTORIA BONES a year later. Finally, the youngest of the three, EDGAR BONES, was born two years later. The three siblings had a fairytale upbringing; they lived in a small cottage in a wizarding village in the midlands, swam in brooks and spent afternoons eating strawberries and bathing in golden rays of sun. Whenever their father was home, he’d tell them about his adventures in the Amazon Rainforest and the secrets of the wizarding tribes from within. Amelia craved for adventure, for action, to be an explorer like her father. It was her mother’s realism that would bring Amelia back from her daydreaming. Her mother instilled a sense of order over her and her siblings, all three of them starting lessons early and learning the most basic charms before even receiving their letters to Hogwarts. The order and adventure from her parents, manifested into one career goal for Amelia, to be an Auror. She was more sure of this than anything else in her life and once her mind was made up, it may as well have been written in stone. 

Unfortunately, her parents marriage was not so certain. Her parents hadn’t had the smoothest relationship lately which resulted in her mother and Victoria moving to France. Her mother applied for a position at Beauxbatons Academy of Magic and they welcomed her with open arms. Amelia was devastated by the fact that they had left and it had felt like she had lost two parts of herself, her mother and sister. To make things worse, due to work, their father would disappear for weeks at a time, only to return and act as if nothing had changed. During those times their House-Elf Pipbsy would care for them, making sure they had food, that the cottage was clean and that the two children were safe in bed at night. Amelia appreciated the help but she felt the urge to look after Edgar by herself, to be the woman of the house. She was forced to mature faster than other girls her age and just as she thought things could only get better, her mother came to visit, only to declare that she was taking Edgar back with her, that it wasn’t Amelia’s fault, she had done a perfect job, but rather that their father’s negligence worried her and that Amelia would be attending Hogwarts in the summer and that she should stay. Despite Amelia’s pleas, her mother was determined and Amelia sat at the kitchen table, watching as her little brother apparated away with their mother. 

Amelia told herself it was for the best, she could concentrate on her school work and her dream to become an Auror. Amelia was soon sorted in Hufflepuff and decided to keep her head down, studying hard, only making friends with a few of her dorm-mates and MARIANNE MACMILLAN whom she shared a couple of classes with. Amelia was an overachiever if you had ever seen one and whilst this left a fantastic lasting impression on her Professors, it turned the heads of a few nasty bullies such as WALDEN MACNAIR. She soon found a friend in FABIAN PREWETT, who unlike his brother, was academically focused like she was. In her second year, Amelia really started opening up. When EDWARD TONKS arrived at Hogwarts and was sorted into Hufflepuff, she couldn’t help but see her little brother in him and instantly became his friend. However, the biggest surprise of Amelia’s whole Hogwarts career was when Edgar stepped forward to sit underneath the sorting hat. She let out a small yelp when his name had been called and she could have sworn she screamed the loudest when he was sorted in Hufflepuff too. She had no idea that her brother was in the United Kingdom, never mind Hogwarts. After that, she’d spend a lot of her time chatting up with Edgar, learning French and writing letters to Victoria who was still in France, studying at Beauxbatons.

Amelia was a sucker for the underdog and would always help those that were either being bullied or those that had potential but didn’t believe in themselves. She assumed this was one of the reasons why she was made a prefect first in her fifth-year, and again in her sixth. Because of this, most of her friends were prefects, such as FREDRICK WEASLEY, who was quiet and reserved but still extremely fun to be around. It wasn’t long until Ted had been made a prefect which she found so exciting as they could spend more time together and the boy truly deserved the position. She soon became protective over Ted in a motherly way. She knew that she could be overbearing sometimes, it wasn’t her fault, it was just the way she was. That said, the day she found out that Ted had become friends with ANDROMEDA BLACK, she almost lost it. Andromeda was one of the notorious Black sisters who was sure to have some plan up her sleeve since why else would a blood extremist find interest in the Muggle-Born wizard? Amelia had become Head Girl in her Seventh Year and worked closely with COINNEACH MCKINNON, the Head Boy. She applied for the Auror training programme with the intention of joining the Auror office, and once she passed her N.E.W.T.S with flying colours, she was awarded a spot. Amelia was overjoyed, the hard work had paid off and her dreams were finally coming true. 

It only took six months before Amelia realised that her dreams weren’t how she had imagined them to be. Perhaps she had changed over the years or perhaps the law simply wasn’t what she thought it was. During their compulsory law modules, classes that she soon shared with Andromeda, she began to see how inequality and bias plagued the current laws of the wizarding community. She began to see that she could help more, make a bigger difference by becoming a member of the Wizgamot. She applied for extra courses to help her transition from the Auror Office to the Wizgamot office. After completing her Auror training she did an additional year in barrister theory before she begun her practical training years. Amelia aimed to be a barrister, not only to ensure that there was no bias against favourable criminals, but that there was also no discrimination against minority groups such as House-Elves and Werewolves. She was assigned to train under HARRISON BAGNOLD. Their beliefs aligned and the two became a force to reckon with. Unfortunately, their opposition was just as skilled and cunning. Andromeda, was a trainee defence barrister and her mentor, RODOLPHUS LESTRANGE was renown for winning his cases. Andromeda and Amelia became adversaries, constantly trying to be one step ahead of their opponent to win the case. What do you get when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object? One hell of a show, that’s for sure. 

Amelia uses her adventurous nature and Auror training to aid her cases, investigating leads and witnesses. This, however, is very much frowned upon by the other Auror’s and has been caught out multiple times by CLAUDETTE DELACOUR and HESTIA JONES. With Hestia, Amelia had more trouble slipping away from, Claudette however, was a little easier. The chemistry between them made it so easy for Amelia to flirt with her that the two would often end of going for a drink. Amelia honestly enjoyed her time with Claudette but knew that she was way too career-orientated to allow herself to enter any serious relationship, besides, Claudette seemed to have enough romance trouble without Amelia. At an underground speak-easy, Amelia was working on a case, following a lead on a vampire murder when she bumped into Edgar. Edgar revealed that he had joined a secret group who intended to fight fire with fire. The idea that her little brother was on a deadly mission put her on edge. During the discussion, Edgar urged that if Amelia was so worried about him, she should join the cause. Amelia declined, she was certain she could do more good in the courtroom. She warned that Edgar was going to get himself killed and only hoped that she’d never see her brother in one of the courtrooms, taking the stand, about to be prosecuted by his own blood, herself.  

→ ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:

Blood Status → Pure-Blood

Pronouns → She/Her

Identification → Cis Female 

Sexuality  → Sexually Fluid 

Relationship Status → Single

Previous Education →  Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Hufflepuff)

Societies → TBD

Family → Kenial Bones (father), Nayeli Bones (mother), Victoria Bones (sister), Edgar Bones (brother) 

Connections  → Edward Tonks (best friend), Fabian Prewett (close friend), Fredrick Weasley (close friend), Marianne MacMillan (friend), Coinneach McKinnon (friend), Clarice Faribault (mentor), Harrison Bagnold (mentor), Claudette Delacour (potential love intrest), Hestia Jones (colleague), Rodolphus Lestrange (adversary/colleague), Andromeda Black (adversary/colleague), Walden MacNair (adversary)

Future Information → Head of The Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Aunt of Susan Bones

AMELIA BONES IS A LEVEL 6 WITCH.

[oleanderblume]

I think one of the best choices I made when writing my book was making Oliver trans.

Initially, he was cis and also only ten or eleven.

But I aged him up a bit and made him trans cause why the fuck not?

(Actually it was cause I was listening to Home by Cavetown and the first verse works REALLY well for Ols and the second one REALLY well for Dindet so I just made him trans to fit the stupid music video in my head T×T)

And I'm really glad I did so because now I can't really imagine him any other way(?) Which is really confusing when I try to explain it to friends and family cause I, being a respectable person and author, use he/him pronouns cause Ols is trans masc (obviously) and apparently that confuses some people??

But like, it opened up a lot of opportunities for me to chuck in some stupid trans things(tm) that I don't really see in fiction. Well, in actuality, I dont see any trans boys in fiction. Which is another reason why I wrote him to be trans =~=

Like, I know it's out there, but if it is, then its probably 98% transition biographies and I'm not interested in that stuff :/ also, Oliver as a character is a dickwad. A bitter, sad, scared and lonely and mean kid that pushes people away and is actively harmful to the people who care the most about him and its NOT because he's trans. (Its mostly because he is really bad at coping with grief)

A lot of times, when people write trans characters, the focus is either on their suffering or the suffering of their peers because "oh no its a disgusting tran"

But for Oliver, all his suffering is largely self inflicted. He is rude and hurtful and inconsiderate toward others and it consistently bites him in the ass with grave repercussions. The only times he suffers explicitly for being trans is by a girl who bullies him for that exact reason. (Well, it is slightly more complicated than that, but you get what I mean) a one time sub teacher who just doesn't give a shit, and technically when his abusive bio dad comes back into his life.

Almost everyone in the series uses proper pronouns, with seldom slip ups- usually when he isn't there to hear it, and treats him with relative respect.

And I love that making that decision granted me opportunities to write a whole chapter that functioned as friend bonding between Oliver and Dindet while also being a not so subtle message to trans youths about how things will get better. (Which kind of sucks because the end of this series is a real dousey)

And opportunities to just add in little character traits that make him just more well rounded. Like, how big dumb happy he gets when he sees his first chin hair (he names it Frank)

There are parts to his personality that sort of function like a revolving door, some of them are trans things, some are just personality type and some have to do with his grief and past and they all fit really nicely together to make this kid believable and relatively relatable.

Like, for instance, Oliver recognises that he can be rash and rude and say things without thinking- he has a habit of shooting off biting words without realizing how hurtful they might be. And part of it is obviously a form of personal detatchment- cause he's too scared to care about others in case he might get hurt or lose them. He is self conscious of how he's perceived but refuses to let anyone on to it and thus refuses any offers of assistance or affection because half of him thinks he doesn't deserve it *because* he is mean, and the other half simply doesn't trust that they mean it.

And all of it sits in top of a fear that no one actually sees him the way he sees himself, despite how many times he might be reassured of it which further prevents him from reaching out to others.

I really REALLY like the main character of my book series- if you didn't realize just yet.

And I really like the dynamic his personality has with the other characters.

For instance, my clown, Dindet is a very naive and caring character. She is unbelievably protective of people she cares about and eager to please them in any way, and she's like that because she has a deep rooted inadequacy complex that plagues every second of her existence. Her only real goal is to make Oliver happy (specifically, get rid of the emotional hole in him) so she goes out of her way to do things for him, sometimes as an apology, and others just to make him feel better. But under that kindness, she considers herself incredibly volatile, dangerous and selfish. And she is so utterly horrified by herself that she would rather lie and hide the truth than explain things.

Their dynamic works really well because Oliver, being a vindictive little shit, constantly belittles her both verbally and internally in order to get her to leave him alone, at least until he realized that she quite quickly internalizes the things he says and he starts trying to be more thoughtful.

And Dindet, being so steadfast in her singular goal, just *wont* quit. Its unstoppable force meets immovable object and one of them is bound to give.

And then there's Oliver and Douglass <3

Douglass is an all around good kid with a good heart. He is friendly and relatively well mannered, sort of awkward and somewhat hyper aware of his interpersonal relationships. He knew Oliver before he started transition, and they had been friends before Oliver's mom died. He is incredibly loyal and kind and understanding- especially with his best friend. He knows Oliver's personality inside and out and goes out of his way to avoid topics of conversation that would turn his mood sour, but also knows when to call Oliver out on his shit. He cares incredibly deeply for his friends, and makes an effort to talk to them whenever possible and cherishes the moments they have together. He is responsible but feigns being oblivious a lot of the time, and is one who values communication.

Douglass for Oliver is the only other person he is ever really comfortable talking to, partly due to the raport they have with eachother but also because Ols is a shit ass liar and Douglass isn't afraid to call him out on it. Despite his thorny nature, Oliver would trust Douglass with his secrets and personal history because He is intuitive enough to know when things aren't okay. Oliver is also quite incredibly jealous of Douglass, mostly because he is cis, but also because he knows that he is a good person and doesn't think he is a worthy friend, regardless of what Douglass says. He also recognises that on some level, Douglass has a crush on him which inadvertently fuels his negative self esteem as Oliver feels that he would be much better off with someone who deserved the amount of compassion and care that Douglass gives him.

And ironically, Douglass knows this already, which is why he doesn't really pursue Oliver romantically despite desperately wanting to. He sets boundaries for himself and tries very hard not to cross them, knowing that if he did, it could potentially ruin their slowly rebuilt relationship.

I'm SORRY I just really wanted to rant and rave about my kids T~T

[persona-rrau]

An art/fic collab between myself (@straylize) and Polux (@hyakunana)!  All of the art by Polux, but below you can read the fic that accompanies it! We wanted to give this pair some love, and the watercolor work is fantastic. The fic was a ton of fun to write too. We hope everyone enjoys this!

Art:  @hyakunana

Fic:  @straylize

Title: “Axe”ident

Word Count: 5003

AO3 Link: here!

Preview:

Some forces in the world were truly impossible to fight against—the rolling waves of a stormy sea, the beating sun in the desert, the rocky terrain of the mountains—and Haru Okumura.

Ryuji Sakamoto had learned that many years ago—she was a strong-willed woman, one who would never change her mind once it became set on something. It was truly fortunate, though, that she was generally the sort to use that will power in order to bring about good for herself and those around her. Even the greatest of obstacles were not meant to stand in her way, and if they threatened to, then Haru would find a way to tear them down herself.  It was simply her way, after all. Despite being generally soft-spoken and seen as demure by many, Ryuji was also aware that she could be firm and assertive; her ability to know exactly how to balance those aspects of her personality were exactly what made her so effective.

It was something he learned when he only barely knew her, as he had experienced firsthand how her sheer strength of will could get her exactly what she wanted once she had set her mind to it.  They were only teenagers when Ryuji first met Haru; they were only teenagers when a fateful moments led him to find her in a dangerous situation in a back alley one night. They were only teenagers when he took a stand against her attacker, and only teenagers when he sustained a serious injury to protect her. In turn, they were only teenagers when Haru decided that this brave young man was the one worthy of serving as her retainer.

She had never cared for the man tasked with being her protector; though she was taught to do as her father said, it certainly hadn’t meant she enjoyed it. Kunikazu Okumura was a man of great power, leading both the Okumura region and its capital, the city of Astarte, to great prosperity. His control over things around him was unmatched, and though he abided by the laws of Arisatia and respected the King’s rule, anything purely under his jurisdiction was handled in a manner that couldn’t be denied as uniquely his. But strict as he may have been, there were times when he knew how to compromise—and very often, that compromise had been with his very own daughter. He had not been keen on the idea of Ryuji serving as her retainer, and with good reason. He was a commoner, practically a peasant by Astarte’s standards. He was crass and crude, even when on his best behavior, and it was made clear that he had a short fuse.

To further that, the boy had been injured. Haru’s attacker, a man Kunikazu had once put a measure of trust in, had broken Ryuji’s leg and left him potentially unable to fully recover. He had believed that at most, paying for the boy’s medical care would suffice well enough, but Haru refused that notion. She wanted for Ryuji to be her retainer at any cost. That person was the only one she felt suitable, far more than who Kunikazu himself had tasked, and certainly well beyond that of the suitors he had chosen for her.

It was clear to him that her reasons stretched beyond being enamored by his brave façade. Kunikazu Okumura was a man who knew his daughter well, bold and soft-spoken, but a romantic at heart. She was interested in Ryuji as a suitor, regardless of class and circumstance. And that reason had been precisely why Kunikazu agreed only on the conditions that when his leg recovered, he would have to work twice as hard to prove he was capable of being a protector. Kunikazu needed to ensure this boy would be up to the task, that everything Haru wanted him to be would, in fact, be met.

Her fierce determination was truly a force to be reckoned with, because it hadn’t only been her father that she had won over with her stubborn demeanor. It had been Ryuji as well. She had made it clear to him in those days that she didn’t intend to take no for an answer. Haru stood by his side each day as he recovered and rehabilitated; she had been the one to support his weight when he took his first steps, and the one to cheer him on as he trained his body to meet the standards that Kunikazu had set in place all those months before.

The journey had been a long one, to be sure, but just as Ryuji had inspired Haru with his brave and chivalrous nature, with his boldness and his crass mouth, Haru was just as inspiring. She was a young woman who never gave up, even when things looked grim. She somehow always found a way to smile even through her struggles, and her determination was something that Ryuji himself never wanted to deny. It was why he had given in to being her retainer to begin with…

And why in the years that followed, he found himself unable to say no to her whims. It took them years to find that balance, but it was one that suited them perfectly. A noble and her retainer, but also the closest and dearest of friends—and a myriad of feelings that existed between them unspoken. They owed their lives to one another in a sense—Haru’s very literally, while Ryuji’s was centered solely on how a peasant would not have made a life for himself that was sustainable without her help.

It had been nearly a decade from that fateful day when Haru, the immovable force she was, had begged sweetly for Ryuji to accompany her somewhere new.

“I dunno, Haru. Could be dangerous with so many people in town,” His words came out easily, casually; though it was uncommon to hear a retainer speak their lord’s name with no formality, it was preferred between them. Haru disliked the stuffy formalities. Being called ‘my lady,’ felt impersonal; they were friends, first and foremost, after all.

“That is why you should accompany me though, isn’t it?” Haru’s response, in turn, had been almost sickeningly sweet. Her looped her arm around Ryuji’s and gave it a gentle squeeze against her as she offered him a knowing smile.

Ryuji’s cheeks flushed slightly, he allowed his gaze to avert as his brows knit together. “That circus thing’s in town, ain’t it? Who knows what kind of weirdos are wandering around.”

“I believe they’re a troupe of traveling entertainers rather than a circus. But they’re famous! Mako said her sister has heard of them, even all the way from Eigaon!”

Her tone was airy and delighted; Haru always managed to emanate warmth at even the smallest of details. Careful to press again Ryuji in a half-hug, she elected to reiterate her point. “It’s barely off the manor’s grounds, anyway. If the city weren’t so bustling today, I’d have gone alone like I usually do.”

Ryuji’s expression shifted into a frown.

“Your old ma—Governor Okumura… he’s really gonna kill my ass one of these days if you keep runnin' off to some secret hideout without tellin’ me…” He paused, and it was followed by a brief, but exasperated sigh. “Guess I’m gonna have to go with… you’ll just go without me anyway, won’t ya…”

It was almost immediate how Haru pulled away from Ryuji and clapped her hands together, equal parts enthralled and victorious. She let out a giggle before she turned in the opposite direction. “I’ll meet you at the back entrance, Ryuji!”

With another sigh, Ryuji took off in the direction of his own room; if he was going to accompany her beyond the manor’s gates, then he would have to be prepared for all threats while remaining inconspicuous. That meant wrapping the weaker part of his leg with a bandage for a little extra support, his light armor, and a small but blunt concealed weapon. These were just the basics, as he didn’t anticipate a proper threat in the way he did when they ventured in toward the city center or the harbor—but it was his duty to protect Haru, and he would take all the precautions necessary to be able to carry out his duties as needed.

Getting ready always took a bit of time for Ryuji for that reason; a retainer still had protocols to follow in order to be effective. As he did so, he wondered quietly just what it was Haru was up to. It wasn’t uncommon for her to go off on her own for a bit, particularly after having an argument with Kunikazu or anyone else. No matter how calm she remained, Ryuji had learned that she did have her own fire of rebellion within her. The first time they’d had a major disagreement, she had, with a smile, contemplated getting an axe.

It was something he played off as a joke and then quickly apologized for his insolence, but over the years, that threat had come out a few times. Naturally, Ryuji had never actually seen her wield an axe, or perhaps he would have taken it seriously.

In any case, that day had seemed a bit different to Ryuji. Haru was in good spirits, and yet still wanted to venture off to her secret place. That place she went off on her own to and demanded Ryuji not follow—which, on those days, was advisable. He still followed her a certain distance so that he would be able to come to her aid if needed, but never followed through the whole way, nor did he peek in on what she had been doing. Unlike all of those times in the past, though, she had requested his presence. It was hard for him to not wonder, though he guessed that she would be revealing her intentions soon enough.

By the time he had prepared fully for their small outing, Haru had been waiting in their agreed upon meeting spot.

“Sorry,” Ryuji offered the apology lightly, bringing a hand up to his head to ruffle a bit as his short, disheveled hair. “Wrapping my leg took a little longer than planned.”

It was only a half-truth, and though Haru knew it, she responded by shaking her head and offering him a smile. “We aren’t under any time limits. I wouldn’t just go on my own after you promised me that you’d come.”

That much was at least a truth. Haru certainly would have left without him if he refused to go or tried to stop her. But Ryuji said he’d go—so she had no reason to try an escape a cage that presently didn’t exist. He wished to keep her safe, he was tasked with the same, but he didn’t seek to limit her freedoms—he only sought to keep safe from harm as she chased those very freedoms she wanted for.

“Let’s get goin’ then,” He bowed slightly to her, an offer of gentlemanly politeness that seemed unfitting for someone as rough around the edges as Ryuji always was. Even after so many years, he hadn’t become stiff like many other nobles and retainers they knew. Yet still, despite those frayed edges, he did his duty well, following the nature he had been raised with—polite and only disrespecting those who didn’t show compassion or respect for others. Those types were the opposite of Haru, after all. With a smile, he moved towards the door, pulling it open and gesturing for her to exit the manor.

There was a brief silence that lingered as they made their way outside. The sun shone brightly above them, with few clouds in the sky to offer them shade.  The air was warmer than most would expect for late spring—Astarte’s climate was well suited for being a beachside port city, with only the ocean breeze shifting their direction to cool them. It was nothing short of an ideal day to be outside, though even still, Ryuji had no idea what was on their agenda.

“So… where are we headed, anyway? I mean… I know it’s your secret spot, and I know the path’s this way, but…” He trailed off, in need of a brief pause to find the words he needed. Words weren’t exactly Ryuji’s strong suit, though, so he came up short. “Guess I’m just curious. Ain’t like you’ve given me any hints.”

“It wouldn’t be as fun without a little suspense, right?”

Haru giggled, and Ryuji’s cheeks flushed in response. Her answer was so typically like her; Haru was definitely the type to seek even the smallest of thrills if it meant keeping things a little more exciting.

"Haru speak for ‘I’m not telling, so just wait and see,’ huh.”

She responded with only a hum before she elected to take one step ahead of Ryuji. She would lead the way fearlessly, with little reason to hesitate. Her enthusiasm showed in her steps; they bounced in such a way that the curls of her hair seemed to have a life all their own, and Ryuji’s eyes seemed to focus easily on their movement. Her hair seemed to have a life of its own, somehow. When she was feeling glum, her curls seemed to deflate entirely, when angry, it seemed to stand straight on its ends. And then there were the days like this one, where her elation caused that bounce that seemed to been even more vibrant than her smile and more energetic than her steps. Ryuji had no idea how such a thing was even possible, and yet every day, he managed to see it with his own eyes.

There was a silence that fell after Haru hummed, warm and comfortable. It was something familiar between them, that they didn’t always need to converse in each other’s presence. Ryuji trusted where she would guide him; in turn, she trusted that he would keep her safe.

The path they walked wasn’t at all populated, though. Despite the hustle and bustle through Astarte’s streets, they stayed away from the main roads. They walked on one side of a stone wall, through a path of dirt and sand that was lined by trees and overgrowth. The other side of that wall was a populated city street, which left the two able to overhear the conversation of residents and tourists alike. Some spoke about their vacation plans to visit the beach, other spoke of merchant’s business, and further were the ones who spoke of that traveling troupe of entertainers that had made their way to the regional capital—the name ‘Seven Sisters’ came up quite frequently as they progressed along the path. Silence remained between the two of them, though, with Haru and Ryuji both content to let the idle chatter in the distance fill the air instead. For Haru, it was a good means of anticipation—which worked well on Ryuji’s ever-present curiosity.

The silence remained and anticipation built until they came across a small clearing in the path. It was hardly a sight to behold; the clearing was little more than dirt, sand and tree stumps. The stone wall remained on one side of them, while the path ahead narrowed just as it had behind them.  Near the further narrowing path sat some large sections of wood, presumably from one of the trees that had been chopped down already, Ryuji concluded. Next to the wood was an axe, which seemed to be where Haru was headed.

She let out a pleased giggle as she bounced towards the axe, it seemed almost like a monumental effort for her to pick it up. She heaved a groan before she turned to look at Ryuji, who had been momentarily stunned into utter silence.

“Wa-wait—!” He barely managed to sputter out before an incredulous sound escaped. It took a long moment before he managed to form another sentence—which had somehow managed to sound even more incredulous than the incoherent sound that preceded it. “You were for real about that axe thing!? What the hell, Haru, that’s dangerous! You can barely hold it without topplin’ over!”

Haru didn’t falter even for a moment, though. It was as if she had completely anticipated the way Ryuji’s would react, and had a response telegraphed for that express purpose. “Did you really think I just took a walk to release all of that stress, Ryu? ”

Ryuji sputtered again; the sweet way she spoke betrayed the hardened edge of how she said his nickname specifically. Most would have thought it cute that she had one at all, but Ryuji knew that with the emphasis on his name that way, he probably needed to avoid pressing his luck too hard. “Lo-look. All I’m sayin’ is… you shoulda told me way earlier. Axes ain’t my thing, but I could’ve given you some form tips or somethin’ so you don’t get hurt.”

His jaw clenched, his brows drew together—Ryuji’s face was contorted in such a way that he was hoping he was cooling off the hot water he’d quickly found himself in. It wasn’t a lie , after all. He would have done all of those things had he known far earlier what she’d been up to… he just also would have perhaps preferred she chose to wield an axe that was more suited to her small frame.

“I think my form’s improved greatly since I picked this hobby up,” Seemingly satisfied with Ryuji’s backpedaling, she offered him a much less deadly smile. “That’s why I wanted to show you.”

“Why you wanted… to show… me?’

He was undoubtedly puzzled by her reasoning, which she also seemed to anticipate.

“You may be my retainer, but that doesn’t mean I want to rely on you for everything. I need to be able to defend myself better… but truthfully, I wanted to learn for myself how to do it,” She began to explain, and though Haru paused, she didn’t give Ryuji enough time to get a word in edgewise. “If I asked Father, he would likely set me up with a fencing instructor. But I don’t feel that suits me, and such… pristine lessons, they won’t lend well to truly being able to fight for myself. So that’s when  I decided I would learn with a weapon of my choosing, and when the time was right, I would show you what I’ve learned.”

“Haru…” It took a long moment before Ryuji managed to utter even her name. He wasn’t sure how it was possible, but she always managed to find new ways to surprise him. Really, her reasoning hadn’t been at all surprising. She had always rebelled against following strict tradition, and always desired to do things on her own terms. This had been no different.

It was difficult not to just admire her tenacity, and so Ryuji dipped his head as a smile tugged as the corner of his mouth.

“You win, like always,” It wasn’t as if Ryuji would really say no to her anyway—it was merely an acknowledgement that her reasoning resonated with him, and Ryuji was not one to stop her. She was, after all, an unstoppable force in his eyes.  A cyclonic beauty that couldn’t be matched in any sense of the word. “So… you just want me to watch what you can do, then?”

“If you could just move that piece of wood onto the stump for me…” She was capable of doing so for herself, but Haru knew she’d have to set the axe down in order to—and once she had it in hand, she didn’t want to have to pick it up again.

Ryuji’s eyes shifted warily to the axe before he nodded and moved towards the pile of unchopped wood. “Just watch where you’re swingin’ that thing.”

He meant it to say ‘ don’t swing it in my direction and take off a limb, ’ but even Ryuji had enough self-control to not let those words slip from his lips. The smile never left Haru’s lips, and though in that moment, it was difficult to read whether or not she harbored any annoyance that warranted a release of stress… there was at the very least, an aura of pride. Rather than push his luck any further, he did what she had requested from him—and then immediately pushed some distance between them by way of stepping back toward the wall.

“Watch closely, Ryuji!” Haru’s words were brief, but bright; that aura of pride in what she had taught herself seem to pour out of her. She stood in front of the tree stump, her hands tightly gripped around the haft of the axe. There was no form or finesse to it at all; the weapon was large and unwieldy for someone of her size and build. Yet still, Haru drew upward before she slammed the tool down towards the wood that sat upon the tree stump. It was with absolutely no skill at all that she’d somehow lucked out, splitting it down the middle. Her aim was good, to be sure… but she lacked technique.

Despite that, she looked at Ryuji proudly. “I know my form needs improvement, but when I first tried, I could hardly lift the axe…”

A stunned silence filled the air; Ryuji’s eyes were wide, but it was impossible for her to tell what he was thinking. Was he impressed? Surprised? Completely abhorred? She wouldn’t know, not until he spoke.

“Ho… ly… shit… ” stunned was certainly one way to describe his state at that moment. “Haru…”

Immediately, she began to backpedal. Her shoulders slumped slightly, and Ryuji responded in kind by leaping forward. “Oh… um. Did... Did I do poorly?”

“N-no. Nonono, it’s not that! I mean, yeah. Your form kinda sucks, but that shit ain’t easy. That axe is fuckin’ huge and you still split that thing right down the middle!” Abhorred definitely would not describe Ryuji—awed would, however. Haru brightened instantly; though Ryuji was crass and blunt, not hesitating at all to tell her that she still had a long way to go before improving—he was honest. She could see that even if he agreed she had much to learn, he had no intention of being discouraging toward her. Ryuji had never been good at holding back, after all—he was the sort who wore his heart on his sleeve and his emotions plainly showed in his expression. It drew a sense of relief from Haru; even if Ryuji still appeared to be keeping a safe distance to avoid her wild swings, it was plainly obvious that he wasn’t displeased.

“Perhaps now that I have the basics, I could seek out someone to train me,” She mused quietly, more to herself than to Ryuji. It wasn’t as if she expected him to know where she’d even be able to find such a person—but Haru felt encouraged by Ryuji’s awed reaction.

“Keep it up and you’re gonna put me out a job…” His response came with a bit of an awkward laugh. He wasn’t really concerned that she would use that sort of training as a means of firing him, not after all she’d done to ensure he would be her retainer. He couldn’t deny though, that he felt a sense of joy and purpose in being able to be a pillar of strength for her, though. Even still, he believed in her ability to stand strong on her own Maybe it would mean that in the future, he would simply have to watch her back instead of guarding her on all sides. And really, would that be so bad? Ryuji didn’t think so. “Can’t deny that I kinda wanna see you do it again. Think you can go two-for-two?”

“I’d be happy to try, if you’d do the honor of placing down another piece of wood for me.”

That was a request that was easy for Ryuji to comply with; he wanted to see Haru try again. He didn’t actually harbor a single doubt about her capability to do so, he simply wanted to watch her a little more closely. He’d been (and still was) so awed that he couldn’t commit the action to memory as he’d wanted to. Besides that, Haru seemed so thrilled with herself that he could hardly resist indulging her once more. So he did as requested, offering her a playful bow at the formality of her request, and once he retrieved another piece of wood from the pile, he placed it upon the stump.

“All right, let’s see it!”

He encouraged, and Haru readied herself. It all looked just about the same to start, but as she began to swing the axe downward, the weight of the tool got the better of her. Her wrist twisted, her face contorted, and she let out a cry of distress. The axe dropped from her hands, and she managed only barely to evade another injury with a quick step back.

Ryuji left absolutely no room for hesitation.

“Haru!” He leapt forward, no time wasted as he made his way to her side. The axe was all but forgotten, as was his request to see any more of her new resolve. All that mattered was tending to her; it was his duty. But more importantly, he didn’t wish to see her in pain. Haru held her wrist and bit her lip in an attempt to hold back the tears that had formed in her eyes, but hadn’t fallen.  “C’mere… let me get a look at it.”

His words were gentle, but still carried that sense of duty and urgency that made it clear why Haru harbored so much trust for him. She nodded, wincing just a little as she held her arm out. His touch was just as gentle as his words; for all that he seemed rough around the edges, he never seemed to let that carry through when it came to his touch. He poked and prodded gently, which she responded to with small hisses of pain.

“Looks like it’s just a sprain. We’ll have the doc look at it tomorrow, since he’s probably off-duty by now. Still…” Ryuji didn’t want to just leave her injury untended to. “Let’s sit for a sec.”

“Sit? But…” She spoke quietly, her gaze shifting to the space around them. The tree trunk was the only spot that could double as a seat, or else one of them would have to sit in the dirt and sand.

“I’ll give you a boost,” Ryuji took the thought in another direction. He motioned toward the stone wall that lined the path. Even if other civilians were walking along the road on the other side, they would blend in just fine. Plenty of people sat atop the walls to rest through the day—the only difference would be what side of the wall they came from, something hardly anyone was likely to notice.

Haru offered him a nod of trust in return, and within moments, with her good hand clasping her injured arm, Ryuji lifted her by the waist. He used all the strength his arms and legs could muster, especially at that angle, and with his overcompensation for his own weak leg, to set her atop the wall. After a moment, and with a deep breath, he hauled himself to the spot next to her on the wall. Haru held back the displays of pain, though a few whimpers managed to escape her throat as he settled himself in.

“It’s a bit of a walk back,” Ryuji pointed out—that and the later hour in the day, with twilight looming—meant he couldn’t just leave things be. He began to roll up the fabric of his pants until he could find the cloth wrapping that he’d used earlier to keep his leg secure. He continued to speak as he began to unwrap it. Though he knew he would put himself at risk that way, Haru’s well-being came first. “We gotta secure that thing so you don’t aggravate it.

“Ryu, your leg…” She was worried, and it wasn’t as if Ryuji didn’t know exactly why that was. She looked at him with that soft, concerned gaze, but all Ryuji did was shake his head.

“No biggie. I’ll be fine. Besides, that’s my job, y’know? Gimme your wrist again.”

He wasn’t going to take no for an answer; Ryuji was just as stubborn as Haru herself. As he tended to her arm, he held it steady. Ryuji wrapped the bandage with care—his expertise in doing so for himself lent well to their current predicament. “Just lemme know if it’s too tight.”

“No… it’s perfect, Ryu…” As Ryuji finished wrapping the injury, she used the hand now stabilizes to reach for his. She didn’t allow him to pull his hand back. Instead, she clasped it tightly, careful to not bend her wrist the wrong way. It still hurt, but the stabilized positioning kept her tears at bay. Instead, a soft and grateful smile tugged as the corners of her mouth. She scooted closer and rested her shoulder against Ryuji’s arm, cheeks flushed. His flushed in turn, before she even finished her thought. “Thank you for being so thoughtful, and for taking care of me.”

                                                  ***

A short distance away from atop the wall sat another. He was quiet, observant. With little more than a pencil in hand and a sketchbook settle in his lap, he smiled at the sight of the future Governess and her retainer sharing a sweet, intimate moment.

“Yes… you are both truly… inspiring in every sense of the word.” He laughed quietly to himself; though he would not interrupt them now, there was little denying that they would soon prove to be precious muses to him. He turned the page of his sketchbook and began to draw—a moment like that was meant to be captured and never forgotten, after all.

[fircbcrn-blog]

hello frands !! it is me, admin c, introducing my final and most fire muse, bok emrys otherwise known as rhys. beneath the cut you can find a couple of pointers and basics on him, like this for plotting as you can expect and i’ll get to those im’s as fast as i can !! you can find his stats here for some idea and overview of him:

so rhys is like this edgy biker boy but with a heart of gold who is rlly a super big softie, he just looks like an intimidating biker boi with his style.

he falls in love with everything but i don’t mean like he’ll fuck anything with a pulse kind of love or oh wow u were nice to me and now i adore u and want to run off into the sunset, i mean he’s just in love with the world around him i mean it’s a shitty fuckin place sometimes but he sees the small beauties in it, the miracles of nature and human behavior that isn’t learned but just inherent to us and he thinks its fuckin magical so sue him

very wise and mature and down to earth as a person, despite being super popular because he just comes across as very cool and easygoing and in general easy to get along with plus he’s a total heart throb in the modelling world.

pretty artsy for a living, very much a creative soul. he paints and sketches and can mould things and he does actually commission it and earn a decent amount from it but his main career and income comes from the modelling definitely. bc ya know business for artists in general just isn’t amazing even for the richer few.

super in touch with the world and at peace with himself, like he is an immovable force nothing you say or do to him will upset him bc he’s just like lol that’s ur opinion and perspective ig and ur entitled to it so go off but imma do me thanks.

pansexual iCoN, he will love anyone pretty down who he can see something good in and he can see good in basically anything other than actual dictators obviously.

guru of life advice, people often come to him because he offers a sense of stability and security without getting his own emotions attached just from his presence alone and the atmosphere he surrounds himself with.

exudes charisma and magnetism we stAn, fully sits around with fancy expensive wine and his art in his super cosy yet modern and majorly artistic big ass penthouse suite apartment studio and walks around in open blazers shirtless with his long hair all pushed back and wet like the queer bohemian pixie that he is uNF.

he definitely has an approachable just creative and exciting persona without making you feel like you have to be wild to be alive with him. he’s also very spiritual

boi does yoga every morning and meditates every night without fail, very aware of mindfulness and does the exercises for it a lot, very aware of his health and keeps like excessively on top of it. he’s buddhist so he believes in the chakras, is interested in white magic and crystal healing too though, definitely practices feng shui, don’t fuck with his feng shui

he is a dancer however he doesn’t do dance as a full time gig bc he’s worried it would eat away at his time and take away from his other passions but ye he be a busy boi but he choreographs a lot and does cover videos on youtube that are pretty popular.

he gets a reputation from the media for being a ‘playboy’ bc he’s deemed a heart throb fUNNILY enough he is the furthest thing from that, but everyone finds him attractive and tries to get him into scandals. he deffo does have flings like the average amount as anyone else but HERES THE THING…

rhys is an idiot and he has a thing for people who think they’re gods gift who are all don’t go falling in love with me and part of me thinks he likes it for the thrill a lOT as well bc he’s too laidback for that trap so he’s all yeah as if bud u would have to change ur act a loT for that to be possible and they get shooketh like HOLD UP WAIT A SECOND-

he does not have their shit if they do the whole im such a hardass and i don’t do commitment but they want him to fall for them rlly he’s like okay good for u see u in like a week when u wanna fuck again until then i’ll be busy with my perfectly substantial life which i don’t need u in anyway dude

big bitch u aint special energy bc no one is and everybody got other priorities to put first depending on what they choose so like lemme know when u wanna get ur act together if not we can chill

but he a good boi he just floats around the place with his shirtless blazer self all here have a sprinkling of wisdom beyond my years and compassion mi casa su casa bby make urself at home in my crafty creative den.

( @hijinae​ ) is like a sister figure to him bc they perfectly match in persona’s and energies and she is very close to his familia, they are also adoptive siblings when rhys’ parents legally take custody of jinae. SIBLING POWER DUO I TELL U NOW they’re literally like siblings who are each other’s missing halves and best friends.  had they have been biological they would probably have been twins

PLOT IDEAS:

so here’s a few loose ideas to throw around until i have more time to sort a plot page out for him :

but of course some of his much loved flings especially his fave messy boy toys bring em to me

modelling rivals potentially who don’t actually want to be rivals at all but the media simply makes them out that way

dance buddies

running buddies

maybe some people who can help him manage his art business prospects and side of things

best friends bc who don’t love that

childhood friends

friends from overseas yES pls not just america but like china and japan, where he spent time as well..

modelling elite socialite squad u know like kylie and her besties type shit always posing with each other on instagram and going to shows together or promoting together

ex’s bc that’s fun and spicy

childhood love

childhood best friend

frenemies

friends he’s made internationally bc of music or dance or even modelling and got close with

good influence and bad influence either way works with him being the influencer or the one influenced

people interested in spirituality or buddhism and maybe looking to him as a guide on it all

honestly anything else u can think of even maybe a past unrequited love, his first ever boyfriend or girlfriend or just experience with either (also open to non-binary muses ofc) just hit me with it all and i will happily work with it

[asiryn]

tagged by @primrose-path-of-dalliance (!!!!!! thanks!!! (lmao, it’s been so long since i’ve been tagged in anything XDD))

Rules: Name your top 10 favourite characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people!

i’m putting this behind a cut, bc i rambled on for quite a while XDD these won’t be in any particular order, and the fandoms will be chosen based off of what i’m currently most into/whichever ones i think of first XD

1. Maleficent [Disney]

okay, i lied a little.....she is clearly my #1 favorite character of all time, so of course she’s first (the rest of the list won’t be in any particular order :P). but....yeah, i love her forever and for all time and eternity, i love her class and elegance, my hunt for all merchandise of her that i can get my hands on is legendary and knows no bounds, she’s my forever girl, etc, etc. if you know only one fact about me, it’s probably that i love maleficent. there’s nothing i can say here that i haven’t probably already said a million times over, so i’ll move on XD

(moana has risen to be a pretty close second, tho)

2. Anthony J. Crowley [Good Omens]

i read the book from a library over a decade ago, and i liked it well enough, but it like....wasn’t an instant new fave that i had to immediately buy for myself (tho it is on a list of books that i wouldn’t mind owning...but maybe it’s finally time, who knows). i’m halfway through the show, and i’ve finally fallen in love with it (i think it finally being a #confirmed love story between our favorite ineffable idiots finally gave it the push it needed XD). it’s still a bit early for me to have a solid, definite fave, but lbr, if i know myself at all, it’s gonna be crowley XD i love this dumb demon (who’s rivaled in his idiocy only by his equally dumb angel husband), i love how he’s so soft even as he tries desperately to convince himself and everyone else that he isn’t, that he loves so many things and humanity and an angel even as he tries to say that he isn’t capable of it, that he never stopped questioning even after it had made him Fall. also, i am so thankful that the fandom has really embraced the potential for the shenanigans of crowley’s snake form.👍

(second place is probably aziraphale, but i also really love anathema too)

3. Namine [Kingdom Hearts]

another one that probably comes as no surprise, if you know me. i love this girl to the ends of the universe. i love the way she reclaimed her agency, her selflessness and determination, her empathy and kindness, how she went from a damsel in distress to pretty much saving everyone, over and over and over again. she deserves only happiness and the best things from now on. and please, for the love of god, give her some new clothes, nomura. >_>

(second fave is roxas, tho really, i love 98% of all the characters in this series ;;;)

4. Aerith Gainsborough [Final Fantasy VII]

my precious sunshine girl 💖 i prefer her in the original game, where she was sweet and optimistic, yes, but she was also sassy and fierce and took shit from no one. i love the girl that decided she wanted to wear a sexy red dress just for the hell of it, and threatened to rip off a mafia don’s balls. i love the girl that was confident and flirty with cloud, but never let any kind of bullshit ‘rivalry’ get in the way of being friends with tifa. i love that she always called cloud out on his bullshit, that she never let tragedy and oppressive shinra forces grind out her optimism, that she never stopped dreaming of a better future. i love that she was exposed to the worst of human nature, and yet still believed that they were worth saving. i love all versions of aerith, obvs, but they’ve definitely smoothed out her edges over the years, and i think that’s a shame. so here’s hoping that she’ll be more like her original self in the remake. 

also, can’t wait to see aerith die again :)))))))

(my second fave tends to flip between cloud and sephiroth)

5. Ling Yao / Greed [Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood]

look. listen. i can’t choose between them, i just can’t. and hey....technically they sort of combine into one entity, so it’s totally fine to count them together, right?? XDD so yeah, it’s really fucking hard to pick a fave out of this cast, bc there’s only like....3 characters?? that i don’t love. but ultimately, it had to be these two. every single second they’re on screen, they totally steal the show, and they have a lot of the best scenes and moments in the series. i love ling, how he seems like a total goofball and comic relief at first, but fairly quickly you come to see just how fucking seriously he takes his duties and responsibilities, how selfless and devoted he is to his people, how he would walk through hellfire for the people he loves. he’s just....he just loves, so fiercely and intensely, that he moves even greed into loving him and the people he cares about without even trying. 

and then there’s greed, who even from the beginning, you can’t help but be charmed by, with his sarcastic slow claps and laidback attitude. but over time, you see that he’s just like ling, really, in that he can’t help but get attached to these humans, that he loves them just as fiercely and intensely, even as he desperately tries to play it off. i love the way his character serves as a means for the story to have a really thought-provoking rumination on the nature of sins and desires, and on humanity (as do all of the other homunculi). i could go on forever about these two, and about the show in general, bc it’s just so deep and incredibly layered and complex, so i’ll stop here. 

(next fave after them is winry)

6. Bucky Barnes [MCU]

it’s hard for me to talk about bucky without just dissolving into endless sobbing, but i’ll try my best. he’s just.....he’s someone who has ended up suffering so fucking much, who has every reason in the world to be angry and bitter and resentful and if this was the villain origin story, you’d probably find it hard to blame him. (also, i refuse to say that bucky was ever a villain, bc he never willingly chose to be with hydra, he’s a victim goddamn it--) and yet....he still chooses to be good. to be kind. he could have chosen to go on an endless revenge tour against hydra, but instead he focuses on his own recovery. and always, always, always, he puts other people first. he chooses to goddamn freeze himself, possibly forever, so that he doesn’t hurt people again. he’s truly an inspiration to me, because even after everything he’s been through, he still doesn’t give up. ......and if you’ll excuse me, i need to resume crying about bucky barnes for the rest of eternity 😭😭😭

(next faves are sam and steve. what can i say, i love my caps XP)

7. Keladry of Mindelan [Tortall]

speaking of inspirations, few (if any) characters inspire me more than kel does. unlike every other tortall protagonist, she has absolutely no magic at all, and she starts her story with more odds stacked against her than any of the others. the system and institution are against her, and most people actively, viciously hate her and want to see her fail, all for being a girl and daring to openly step outside of her gender roles. and yet, kel never gives up, and wins through pure will and determination. more than that, she never stops fighting any oppression that she sees, and is always looking out for the abused and marginalized of society. she is fair and just and righteous, and full of a quiet, immovable strength that i, frankly, envy. she’s a fucking mountain; you haven’t a hope of ever tearing her down. 

(other faves....george, raoul, and dom. it’s really fucking hard to choose between them, i can’t even)

8. Oree Shoth [Inheritance trilogy, by N. K. Jemison]

oree is pretty much single-handedly responsible for me loving this trilogy, and is the reason why The Broken Kingdoms (the second book, of which she is the protagonist) is in my top 3 favorite books of all time. she is....just so fucking radiant. she’s a blind artist, and is flung so far out of her depth in the story, and yet she holds her own. in this world of gods, she brings this incredibly human element, and is celebrated because of her humanity. she’s angry and flawed, but also full of love, compassion, kindness, and mercy. she teaches gods the meaning of forgiveness. she takes shit from no one. just....do yourself a favor, and read this series, even if it’s only so that you can read this book. 

(second fave....it’s probably shiny, lbr XD)

9. Sirius Black [Harry Potter]

ahhh, a classic fave. but yeah, i still love him, even after all these years. yes, he’s incredibly flawed, but at his core, he’s just so loyal, and he loves so fiercely, and he tries his absolute best to be there for harry, that i can’t help but love him. also, i have a Thing, for characters who suffer so tremendously, but who don’t give up, and still try their best to be good people anyway. also, wolfstar was the foundation of a very formative part of my life, and put me onto the road of accepting my queer identity, so i’ll always have a soft spot in my heart for the characters who were a part of that. 🤷‍♀️

(other faves are luna and harry, always)

10. Gladion [Pokemon]

mostly his anime incarnation, tho i do like him in the games as well. i love this soft goth boy with all of my heart. he’s so gentle and kind and loving, and i can’t even with him. 

(other faves are lillie, n, zoey, and kukui)

if you guys want to do it, i’ll tag... @dabiden, @green-piggy, @seasbelow, @theroyalweekend, @toomanyfeelings5, @ashetrashe, @neddea.....i can’t think of anyone else, and i’m running out of steam, so if you want to do it, then consider yourself tagged! :)

[twitchesandstitches]

A few details i wasn’t able to get into the library fic that introduced the Avatar characters to Crossthicc! This was worldbuilding stuff I thought was interesting, but didn’t have room to put into the fic properly.

AVATAR STUFF

Suki is one of the daughters of Kyoshi, who rules a system of islands, and has inherited something of her size, power, and commanding attitude. The Kyoshi Islands are intended to be an analogue to Japan in some respects, and in particular Kyoshi’s daughters lead their own respective dynasties in service to Kyoshi, who is ultimately a Raava-blessed empress uniting them all as a daughter of Heaven.

The girls are considerably older than in canon, and the boys are more or less their canon ages but in a way to give them a different dynamic with the girls. Katara is the eldest child in her generation, with Sokka as her younger brother. Her dynamic with Aang is even more ‘skilled student winds up marrying his gifted mentor’, with a bit more emphasis on Katara being a heroine. The biggest shift is for Zuko; as Azula’s younger brother, he was never in the running for being Fire Lord and was a surplus child. Mai was more or less his bodyguard and they wound up falling for another as a bright spot in each other’s lives.

Way more AU as the cultures of Avatar go. Sun Warriors are still extant, groups such as the Foggy Swamp Tribe are all over the place. The Fire Nation is presently in a huge civil war between Azula and forces that follow Zuko, and Azula is actually more active as a leader than Ozai is; as it stands, the Fire Nation is basically like Warring States-era Japan, but with people who can breathe fire and ride dragons.

On that note, the Fire Lords are more or less just the Fire Sages as they originally were in canon; the Fire Lord is the leader of the Fire Sages, who ride dragons here and commune with them, and have enormous power over the Fire Nation’s people with this influence. Azula has taken over as hereditary right and the most powerful of the family, but Zuko has also earned the right and this has caused the civil war in question, with an unprecedented amount of nobles, warlords and influencers split between the two rather than the usual free for all.

The Air Nomads are mainly based off the people of ancient Mongolia, with Genghis Khan’s example being a pretty obvious one. The Air Nomads who live in this area are explicitly intended to be modeled after them. Yangchen herself is an analogue to the Khan, down to building an empire and unifying her people, and having a strict ‘insult my people and die horribly’ vibe. As a whole the Air Nomads are a lot more diverse than what we see in canon; Air Nomads like the monks we see in canon are still around, but they’re a specific set of clans who live in the mountains near the Southern Water Tribe and have established a monastary there. They support their life style by working out deals to control the wind for the benefit of their Water Tribe neighbors.

Bending here is marked by two things: becoming a giant hyper-curvy lady (as is the main rule in this AU when you become powerful), and physical mutations. Not like the mods used by other, but non-functional attributes such as crystalline skin for Earthbenders, icy body temperature for Waterbenders, blazing skin for Firebenders, and so on. It varies for each individual, gets more intense as they power up and the specific kind of mutation changes when they are bending different things, but all benders are obvious and easily spotted.

Size is linked to bending. The more powerful you are, the bigger. The inverse is true; if you’re bigger, you have bending powers. Characters who canonically have no bending ability but are big here (Mai, Suki, Asami and so on) are benders here, but have very low grade powers or extremely specialized skills. Suki is probably an Earthbender who can do minor tricks with soul to be immovable, Mai and Asami are firebenders (Mai does internal tricks with heat, Asami can bend lightning but ONLY lightning), and so on.

I usually avoid specific sizes, but I did measurements for a tricky line, and worked some things out. Katara is roughly about twenty feet tall here, an average man only going up to her knees. Toph may be about 30 or so while the other girls are smaller than Katara on average, ranging from 12 to 15 feet. Korra is the biggest at at least forty feet. She is very big!

Raava does not serially incarnate here, but instead bonds to multiple human hosts as they are born; the Avatar is thus not a singular entity but a soul fusion of many different people to previous ones and the other living ones, linked and boosted by Raava. Thus, Korra and Aang can be around at the same time, and she can be significantly older than him too. The other Avatars relevant to Aang (Kuruk, Kyoshi, Roku and Yangchen) are, of course, all alive and doing things, being important heroes and leaders.

The owl entity that is mentioned briefly near the end of the story is intended to be Wan Shi Tong, and the Great Library is a combination of his library and the idea of the Akashic Records from Mage: The Awakening. He’s not as anti-mortal as he is in canon, or at least, not allowed to act upon it due to the other powers in the Library. He is a spirit of the idea of knowledge and lore, and acts as a neutral figure within the library’s command.

Bending stuff. Here, bending is not hereditary (though it is dependant on cultural identity); rather, people commune with specific spirits after manifesting an elemental power at a young age. Everyon can use an element appropriate to their culture, though perhaps very limited, and some can commune directly with the spirits, earning their favor and gaining their powers, being physically transformed in some respect and gaining enormous amounts of power. These are like Benders from canon, but they explicitly sought it out. Animals like badger-moles and sky bison are linked to these spirits, too. (There are different ways of earning favor; some women might become hyper pregnant with powerful spirits, for example, and at the end of the pregnancy, transform into their new state and gain their powers. The REAL elemental blessing was inside them all along…!)

The Air Nomads are alive and well!

Aang is ethnically related to the northern Air Nomads who are based on the followers of Genghis Khan; Yangchen’s clans, here. However he was raised among the monastary monks near the Southern Water Tribe, where he met Katara when young and studied under her to learn Waterbending. His heritage carries no stigma, and while he has no concern about his actual family (it being an Air Nomad thing to raise children communally), he wants to know more about his birth-people and ancestral culture.

You may have noticed a reference to ‘red tornado spirits’ in regards to Aang’s tattoos. Double meaning here; Aang’s tattoos were originally based, from what I hear, on the DC robot hero Red Tornado’s markings, and thus the spirits who originally taught the first Air Nomads were related to the spirits that give Red Tornado life force. (It was either that or make Red Tornado this settings version of Tenzin. Still might do that, actually.)

Speaking of Tenzin, Aang and Katara’s children are around for sure, but doing their own thing during the events of this story.

NON AVATAR STUFF

Hermione here is based on my take on her in the fics I’ve written here and there. The other group mentioned in relation to her is intended to be her canonical friendship group, including Harry, Ron, Ginny, Luna and Neville, and possibly others. The Great Library may be Hogwarts, but the castle may exist elsewhere with the wizards and witches here being a specific group that wound up at the Library through a mishap.

Witches like Hermione grow bigger as they get more magically powerful, as generally goes in this AU.

Hermione is intended to be read as black/Afro-British (or a space future analogue) but I’m not sure I’m that great at conveying that in writing.

Hermione’s somewhere between Toph and Katara’s sizes. Smaller than 30 feet, bigger than 20 feet. She’s thicc, hyper busty, and big all over!

Hermione not speaking the language of the Avatar characters is based on a few plot points I’ve had in mind; linguistics in this AU is a serious matter with no ‘translator microbes’ or quick solutions to language barriers. Languages must be learned the hard way. She’s never had any reason to expect to communicate with the people, expecting a life as a solitary scholary with her library chums, so she’s woefully unprepared for this. She will correct this in the future.

Magnus the Red is shamelessly based on the interpretation of him from the youtube web series, If The Emperor HAd A Text To Speech Device. I also included aspects such as the Primarch’s being sensory overload to regula humans, and more mystical overtones than they normally get in 40k. I wrote this with the idea that the Imperium was a pre-cataclysm society in line with the Emperor’s original goals (and had none of the anti-alien issues, due to difference circumstances), and the Emperor has become a god of the idea of humanity as its own thing, with the Primarchs as different reflections of that: Magnus embodies humanity’s magical potential as well as the drive to learn and know.

Magnus doesn’t have an exact size. He is huge, yes, but his bizarre magical nature means that he is much larger than he would seem to be. He’s also a shapeshifter, so make of that what you will.

The figures with him are basically Space Marines: Thousand Sons and Blood Ravens, if it wasn’t obvious enough. Gabriel Angelos, one of the canon Blood Raven leaders from the Dawn of War games, is mentioned briefly.

Obliquely referred to a few times is Optimus Prime; in the main events of the AU his absence has been notable, so this is where he’s been all this time; searching for an answer to what has become of Primus, and unable to return to the Autobots. Grimlock is gonna be PISSED.

The Unseen University’s faculty from Discworld are present here as more comedic elements of the faculty running the library, and may be seen on some other time. They’re not human here, since I’m trying to avoi the idea that humans are super-important in-universe. Ridcully, for example, is most likely a krogan. The magic they employ is a cross between Potterverse spells and classic D&D magic. (I used to headcanon that potterverse magic was particular to humans, but i may be moving away from that.)

I originally intended there to be several characters drawn from religious/monk origins for use as library characters to later join the Endowed Fleet and converse with the characters in this one, but there were too many characters as is. Two of the most important would have been Zenyatta from Overwatch (here a full on magic user and Guru Pathik-analogue) and Scar from Fullmetal Alchemist (donated his brother’s teachings to the library, stayed there to study as a religious duty)

There was originally an in-universe lesson about how their world fits into the cosmology, but i couldn’t find a natural place to slot it in. In brief, they’re technically one of the mortal universes, but exist in a demi-realm deep within the realms of magic and swimming in spirits, so they’re not really connected to the mortal universes and unless you know what you’re doing, there’s no real way to get there. This universe is mainly empty but rich with magic, so it’s possible for people who find their way there to establish new worlds there.

[fuguewriter]

Will Provoke Your Thoughts ... Could Change Your Life

A review of The Last Year by Amelia Banis - BalboaPress - 216 pages - ISBN 978-1504397575 - Amazon page

Let's start at the beginning: it took a long time to write this review - to be able to write this review - because this book was so singular, in such unobvious ways, that the musing after finishing took far longer than the reading. This is a first indication that a book has much within it: that it isn't swallowed like a cultural chicken nugget and forgotten, but that it demands engagement - unless one only wants a chicken nugget, consumed and then no more. One supposes some could take this book that way, but this reader is not one of them. So it's the path of the unique meal of unexpected delicacies and resonances that keeps nourishing long after one (thinks one) has risen from the table.

On the face of it, the story is simple and clear. Amelia Banis was an adopted child who had a fraught relationship with her adoptive father, Diederich - German-born, fatefully so in 1938, who survived World War II and his father's time in a Soviet prison camp to become almost a caricature of the closed, reactive Teutonic patriarch. His Swiss-born wife, Lilia, is Diederich's polar opposite in her kind, quiet ethereality. Between these two extremes Amelia grows up, and one senses that from the beginning Amelia and Diederich are naturally entangled, the more so for the Diederich refusing to admit the existence of any emotions save irritation, exasperation, and anger - determinedly directed at all but himself.

The Last Year is a memoir compounded of a beginning in the big picture and zeroing down inexorably into an event-by-event recounting of the eponymous final year of Diederich's life.

This is no spoiler, for Ms. Banis tells us at the very start, with a striking first chapter opener with her making hospice arrangements for this monumentally stubborn opposite number and ending with his taking his final breath with Amelia and her husband by his side. There is no escape for Diederich, no roseate deathbed realization. The following twenty-six chapters show how the Diederich-Amelia dyad stretched and spun and writhed - never severing - its way to that final end. Reading this beginning, the author's necessary and ingenious avoiding of the boredom of a linear decline to death (just desserts) or an unlikely pink rainbow scene (the old devil had a heart after all), one feels right away in good hands. She is taking care of us, too, and will make sure it's an interesting ride. One thinks of Akira Kurosawa's epic 1952 heart-movie, Ikiru, which begins with a shocking closeup of the protagonist's abdominal X-ray, which the businesslike narrator informs us shows terminal cancer. Mr. Watanabe is to die, as we are all to die, so this will be the story of what he does with his time, his last months or days or year.

What comes next in Banis' book is one of the great memoirial narratives of the details of a life. One looks in astonishment at the clarity of recall, the outpouring as if from a cosmic high-pressure pipe in which all the facts and details must emerge - not in a chaotic spray, but remorselessly marched forward and set down. The style is accessible, often wry, but the mental intensity is palpable, and one knows through the grip of the force behind it that this book had to be written. This is no guarantee of a book one must read, and at some points this reader, though compelled by something to hold on, blanches at the detailedness of the tale. One does not read an airy summary of happenings showing the working-out of some abstract pattern familiar or new: one reads things as they happen at the moment, in William James' "great blooming, buzzing confusion,” before any narrative or intuitive smoothing and completing. It makes for an inescapable tension if one stays on for the ride and a compelling hold on one's attention.

One could see some readers getting off the ride, perhaps easily. It is a mark of the advancement of Ms. Banis as writer - this is a first book - that she makes things neither easy for the reader nor contrives any difficulties. Her sentences are almost steel-edged in their clarity and decision - one is unsurprised to read in the biographical note that in her working life she is at a high level in business - and are resolutely extrovert in declaring what happened out there, in common space, observable by anyone with eyes and ears. The details, the outward turn, the powerful will behind the word-engraving - it is, as the story goes on, almost too much.

And yet.

Leave aside that one felt compelled to hang on. Leave aside that one knew how it would end. It ended at the beginning, in the extinguishing of the locked, fixed will of Diederich. There is the curiosity to see where it is going - with the end at the beginning, one wonders what beginning will prevail at the end. But that too can be left aside, as a desire that will be closed - fulfilled or disappointed - by the last page.

What came to this reader only in the long musing afterward was that the key to it all was carried by, shown by, could only be displayed by, the unrelenting detail as the tale goes.

To begin, one is given one of the great portrayals of an absolutely fixed will in Diederich. One would have to reach into the non-fiction ponderings of D.H. Lawrence on this same matter, or to Jack London's incomparable Wolf Larsen, to see the male will portrayed as so profoundly locked back in its own redoubt, never relenting, never ceasing its vigilance and teeth-baring at the approach of any who would dare approach the cave.

We then have the narrator, who is no plaster saint and who portrays herself losing patience, wanting to leave Diederich to his own devices, self-doubting, self-berating - yet she, of all, without claiming any great merit for it, takes care of Diederich, endlessly, against his own resistance all the way to the moment of his death.

The driver for the great pour of detail is just this: the locked will of Diederich and the will of Amelia, equally strong, to see him through, whether he rejects it or not. He is an immovable object of refusal, and she is an unstoppable force of care. The explosion of detail comes inevitably from this irreconcilability.

Yet, again, this is not all. There is something carried by means of the detail that is never spoken, never hinted, yet now, after a few months pondering this singular tale singularly told, is clear. Amid all the details there is nearly nothing explicit of the spirit, of the soul, of ethics. Amelia is held to the vocation of care for reasons she cannot, being immersed, fully know - no more so than Diederich understands his position. In their way, each is acting completely truly to their nature, with no time for reflection or artifice. One leaves with the details of an intimately personal story, and for this reader the unspoken came out as they, afterward, arranged themselves as they would, as though the writing were continuing within oneself: that this is a profoundly moral tale, the more credible for being not a fiction and the moral nowhere announced or even whispered.

The moral is this: that at each moment in life, we choose a better or worse course, particularly in dealing with our fellowman. Diederich in time became little more than a ruined body hosting a psyche ingenious in endless forms of rejection. Amelia for most of her journey with Diederich is at the very edge of being able to go on, but carry on she does - for the sake of seeing it through, for caring for the most impossible among us. It is so without reward that it has not even the satisfaction of duty performed. She staggers on because, by some light within her, often buried but still known, it is the right thing to do.

And this was the turning point of finding a deeper sense: at any moment, Diederich could have changed course, even in the smallest extent. At each momentary turn, unconscious as he was of it, he was choosing, choosing to shut himself off from the sunshine of an adoptive daughter caring for him beyond what would even be the expectation of blood. That is his true death, before his heart ceases: that he turned away from the land of life, from a steadfast hand extended from it to help him come as close to it as he liked - or even to cross over. Diederich, refusing to be die and be born again, lives not even once. It is merely an existence that ends.

Diederich dies, enclosed. Amelia, her husband, and their children recover and move forth. Again, as with Kurosawa's Ikiru, the protagonist's death is not the end. There is a coda of dispersion back-into-the-world, of the taking care of things. And so the world of the book ends, and we are back in our own lives. And we wonder that things feel different than before, and wonder at this curious, powerful book that made it so.

This would make a powerful play, readily staged – and even more so a feature film. In the right hands, with the right casting, the two leads could strikingly explore the infinite complexities we humans make – and break – in our relationships.

One hopes for more from Amelia Banis' hands. There are presumably no more Diederichs to be told, so one would see what her determination to tell will do next. In the next volumes one, too, would wish to see beneath the extrovert horizon and within the aura of the author. Through The Last Year we are very much in her strong hands, and one wants, at the end, to challenge the author, in the same manner as her very being challenged her adoptive father, to surrender the control and give more of her subjective self, whether she writes again in the first person or not, and to show us in tale and writing-style more of the unexpected mysteries and potentials for change she drew from within herself in telling the story of a year of crisis.

(end)

[kuzhukdotharl]

Strength

~Many years ago...~

The boy stood there in front of The Burned House. The black figure stood like an obelisk of shadow, the flickering flames illuminating his stern and grizzled features as he looked at the entrance to the tent. The cool night time winds of the Azim Steppe whispered sweet nothings into his ear as he waited patiently to be summoned before the High Council, he would be the last to undergo the Rite of Naming and become a Man in the eyes of the tribe.

For sixteen summers, he had toiled and grown both in skill and power, much to the chagrin of his tribemates. He had waited for this moment, for the time when he would finally receive his true name and ride with the warband against the enemies of the Dotharl. He had dreamed about this night since he was a youngling, running through the green fields with Khorgany. All those memories and past summers felt like a distant age though as he now waited in anticipation, the tales of his father howling in his mind. Tonight, he took his first real steps to finding the Dusk Mother.

“Enter, O youth of the plains. Stand before your tribe” an old yet firm voice called from within the tent. His heart racing, Kuzhuk stepped forwards and entered The Burned House.

A barrage of incense and smoke met the boy as he came into the sacred meeting place of tribe members past and present. The dark tent was lit only by the large bonfire that raged in its center, a pillar of smoke rising directly upwards and exiting through a hole in the roof. The heat of the roaring flame could not compare though to the burning gazes that Kuzhuk felt pierce into his very soul as he stepped up to the flames to be judged. The various heads of the tribe were present, all adorned in the traditional garments of their station, each wearing the mask of their next life. Sitting in the back, the boy swore he could see the figure of his father, who wore the mask of the red hawk. Kuzhuk dared not look to his teacher and father though, to do so would be weakness, and in this time of judgment, that was something that he could not afford to be shown.

Opposite form he, on the other side of the bonfire, stood a singular figure who wore a mask engraved with the markings of an owl. Her statuesq state and steady gaze was unnerving. This was Nüürsnii Nüd, Coal Eyes, the Elder Seer of his kin. The Xaela woman held her bone staff tightly, leaning on it to alleviate her lame leg, the flames casting a ballet of dancing shadows across her contours. “Who stands before us? We who bring salvation to the meek” Coal Eyes said, her voice filling the silent chamber, the crackle of the bonfire her only competition for dominance.

“It is I, Kuzhuk, son of Khüchirkheg, child of the green sea, first of my name borne unto the Dotharl” the boy said loudly, returning the dominant voice with one of his own as he stood tall. His 7’8 form cut a truly intimidating figure, and apparently, he was still growing - though this did not seem to faze Coal Eyes in the least. Instead, the woman continued the Rite as was common. “O youth of the green sea, you stand before the spirits of our brood who have seen you grow. The time has come for them to reveal to you your true soul, one free of this mortal coil. Will you stand and be judged?” the woman asked, earning a swift, “I shall”. With a small grin that caused a small flurry of surprise, Coal Eyes gave a nod, “Then let the spirits guide us towards the immortal truth”

The seer hissed as she threw what looked like dust of some sort into the bonfire, causing it to bellow with new life and begin to slowly change colors. Blue, green, black, and more filled the spacious tent as all eyes seemed to focus in on the flame, waiting for what revelation the seer would provide for them. “I see… Rage, power, unlimited potential, the trappings of the most revered of our kin” Coal Eyes said as she stared into the flame, seeing what the spirits decreed and saw within the boy. These words filled him with a sense of pride, a feeling of heat that the fire could ill hope to match. “In you lies more than just a warrior, I see both an unstoppable force and an immovable object melding into one. The salt sea crashing against the mighty crags of the coast, neither yielding in their immortal conflict” Coal Eyes decreed. The years of immeasurable training and warring felt like distant memories as the boy let a confident yet small smile creep up onto his face.

“-and yet, for all the light of these flames, I see a terrible darkness clinging to you, vapors of unbelief that distance you from communing with our kin and the spirits” Coal Eyes said, her voice firm and steadfast as she peered into the flame of many colors. The smile on Kuzhuk’s face disappeared, a feeling of dread coming forth as his mind raced with a million questions. What did the seer mean by darkness? How could she see unbelief in him when he was a zealot amongst their kin? How was he blind to his kin and their eternal spirits? A cold sweat broke out from the man’s brow as he tried to reconcile these accusations in his mind, a ripple of murmuring flowed across the room. He was here to be judged, his tribe his jurors, he could not show weakness here.

In matters of the spirit, the Seer had made her divination, now, it was to the various heads of the clan to whom matters of secular insight came from. Kuzhuk could only watch as his father, Shonkor Orgil, Falcon’s Peak, rose and approached the bonfire. It was he who now would reconcile for the seer his observations, and it was he who Kuzhuk hoped would alleviate this strange turn of events. Yet, as the colorful flames illuminated the old warrior’s grizzled and scarred body, his red mask seemed more predatory and hostile as it gazed at the boy, disapproving almost of the prey who couldn’t manage to even scamper away back to the shadows. “Here me now, my brothers and sisters, for I, Falcon’s Peak, will bridge the dissonance between spirit and son, and attempt to explain the discordance that fills this troubled youth’s soul” the intimidating man said, his voice booming around the tent, his silver eyes looking into an identical pair with utter contempt.

For once in a very long time, Kuzhuk felt a chilled hand of fear grip at his very soul. His heart raced as his felt his father look into his eyes with such utter disgust, it was enough to make the normally dominant boy look away and into the flame. He still struggled to understand what was going on. In a blur though, his father had crossed the distance between them and grabbed onto his arm like a vise, holding it out to the flame to see and illuminate his open palm. It was only in this movement that the boy realized what it was his father now made evident to the clan. “Behold! The mark of a blood oath, a scarred and permanent pact between two spirits that lasts far beyond the confines of this meager life!” Faclon’s Peak shouted, an uproar of disapproval erupted within the tent. Blood oaths weren’t only taboo, they were binding in the eyes of the Dusk Mother, never something to take lightly.

“Do you deny it?” Falcon’s Peak asked the boy, his silver eyes full of anger. “No, I do not” Kuzhuk stated through grit teeth. As a child who craved power, he now felt completely powerless. “It was a childish action, one made long ago and with the conscious and cluelessness that only a child could posess” the boy stated, this earned a sharp scoff from his father who publicly reprimanded him, “The Dusk Mother cares not for age. Life is eternal, our chapters but one of many in a never-ending book of reincarnation. You have sealed your existence towards your partner until the ends of time!” the man yelled. Kuzhuk shook in his sandals as he felt the raw and unadulterated wrath of Falcon’s Peak be unleashed upon him in a torrent of hate. “What’s worse is that this girl is not one of our own! A tribe-less curr who is little more than a beast clothed in rags!” this last part particularly enraged those in attendance. Such breaking of tradition was an outrage, a clamour of anger now erupted as the elders of the Dotharl stood to their feet and began shouting. Some called for the boy to be killed, others demanded he complete a rite to absolve his black deed, and even others simply called for him to be tortured as an example. However, it was finally Coal Eyes who restored order.

“SILENCE!” she yelled, the colorful flames bellowing out in a surge that alarmed the elders into submission. The seer stood tall and in control as she looked at the father and son who were now locked in silent conflict. The young man felt his blood run cold, his silver gaze meeting the only matching pair that this world knew. As calm was restored within the yurt, Coal Eyes looked through the wisps of the hearth to Kuzhuk. ”I am udgan, and I shall speak the will of those undying who are present in spirit instead of body” she hissed, verbally castrating the men as they were cowed back to their seats. Shoncor Orgil returned to his own post as well, watching, as always through his thinly layered mask of contempt.

Coal eyes spoke with her usual old and coarse voice, “Oh youth of the grass. You have lost your path. Your body is strong, but your heart remains weak and docile. This does not need to be, poor child, we, your tribe, will make you whole again” she promised, hobbling around the fire slowly, her shadow dancing brilliantly against the sides of the yurt. Kuzhuk forced his gaze to remain looking forwards, even as the creeping voice of the udgan drifted closer and closer to his horn. “Close your eyes, my child. Speak now what strength means to you” she commanded, to which he complied. “It is unstoppable power: to crush our enemies, and to hear the lamentation of the women. We undying revel in the glory of war, it is the natural order” he stated, earning a few nods of approval from some of the younger members of the council who had earned their names. This reply seemed to earn a small chuckle from the wise woman, “So they say” she clicked with a prompt swish of her tail.

“You would say that your undying fire is one purely physical, you neglect one half of your essence” she instructed, moving around him slowly as it inspecting him for the smallest chink in his skin which she could pry open and expose his fragility to all. “Strength is not a goal to strive for, it is a dogma, a scripture that your heart must follow in its entirety. We kill, we raid, we do these not because we like to, but because we must. The weak must be given mercy, it would be a crime against all nature to allow them to live a miserable life, what we do to them, we do out of kindness. To cull the inferior tribes, to wipe them away with the palm of our hands, to burn all impurities- such things leave only the strong. They are worthless, they should not be allowed to live such a pathetic life, to live and to die as sheep.” Coal Eyes explained, revolving around Kuzhuk as he stood there firmly, only her words and the warmth of the fire seemingly reaching his fermenting mind.

“To give mercy is to leave the weak alive only to die and suffer a meaningless existence. They bring no glory, no purpose. What we do, as the strong, as the undying, is to prove to Nhamma and to the spirits that we are not sheep. We prove to them with our hearts and our bodies that we are eternal, within us is a fire that will consume all, such is our duty, our purpose- our strength” she finished, at last coming to a halt behind the large ebony form of Kuzhuk. He had remained unnervingly still, like an obelisk caught between the flames of the familiar and the whispers of something far deeper that he only now tried to confront. The summers of adventures with Khorgany, with his childhood friend, they all felt like distant vapors slipping with his mind, like lies, like wasted time. It was only now, standing here in this yurt, facing the immortal flame before him, that he slowly felt a new sensation course through his very being: revelation.

“I see it. It hides in my heart, holding me back from what you speak” he replied slowly. He did not need to see the udgan’s face to feel the smile that was silently etched into his flesh. “You need only speak that malformation that corrupts you. Together, as a tribe, you shall be made pure by the flame, and only then, will you become a man” Coal eyes promised with a small grin as she looked to the bonfire in the center of the yurt. The words came slowly to his lips, like an eternity passing for each syllable as he spoke them, “Khorgany Novsh” he grunted. Those within the yurt repeated his proclamation in a chant, “Khorgany Novsh”. He could feel the heat of the flame warm him suddenly, more so than before, like he was only feeling it now for the first time since entering the yurt.

“KhorganyNovsh” he repeated, his voice grunting and speaking the name all at once, as if doing so would exercise her corrupting memories from his mind once and for all. Again, the tribe repeated, blurring the words even more, “Khoganovsh” they said. Kuzhuk could feel his heart beating more rapidly as the heat of the fire increased, seemingly ignoring all barriers of flesh and touch to instead scorch his heart. He could feel them, the licks of flame burning him from the inside out. Coal Eyes nodded in approval as she saw the small twitches and spasm’s on the boy’s face. “Khorgovsh” he rushed out, his fists tightening until his knuckles turned white from rage. “Khorvosh” the tribe repeated in unison. This cycle continued, his voice, his memories of her name and of their days devolving into an incoherent mess. It was like the flame was melting a part of him away, and with each utterance of her name, the heat reduced his mind into less of what it once was, breaking it down. “Khorsh”, turned into “’Osh”, which in turn became only unspeakable babble until, at last…

All was lost, and silence then reigned.

Coal Eyes presided once again from her perch on the other side of the fire, “Youth of the grass, the spirits see you now, they recognize you amongst the eternals. Your name amongst us, and all others shall be your true name: Burged Altan, The Eagle of the Crimson Dawn!” the udgan proclaimed. The yurt hollered and yelled in approval, the boy had proven himself, he was one of them, he was a man. Kuzhuk heard her judgement and could only reply with a small nod, his gaze locked onto the smoldering embers of the hearth.

At last, he had found purpose. He had found peace.

[anythingbutmyname00]

Spierfeld- Alternate Meeting

what if Simon immediately found Blue’s second note and they started texting? What if Bram forgets to put his phone on silent before lunch?

*Will be posted on AO3 as soon as I get my account fixed up* 

Simon had no intention of wearing the shirt to school.

First of all, his wardrobe of blank T-shirts and hoodies suddenly including band tees might throw a few people for a loop. He’s not self-absorbed enough to think people actually care that much about his style where they’d notice a change, but if he knows one thing it’s that Leah would notice. And if Leah notices, Leah makes a comment, and then Nick and Abby notice, and then it spirals.

Second, He doesn’t know if that’s too desperate on his part or coming off too strong towards Blue. Even Simon knows wearing it to school the very next day would be extremely pathetic. The best he can do is email a thank you for now. Also, who knows if that would freak Blue out? I mean, it was a gift, a shirt, and yes, shirts are supposed to be worn, but is the very next day a sign where Blue would be totally freaked out? Like Woah, Simon is obsessed with me freak out?

Third, he wanted this to be a gift that was just for him. He knows that’s stupid; of course the gift is just for him, but it’s like the emails. No one else needs to know about it. It’s between him and Blue.

So, yeah. Simon had no intention of wearing it to school. But that doesn’t mean he’s not going to wear it at all. He got home from play rehearsal--- an extra hour every night, now that the show is less than two weeks away--- and slumped his way through all of his work while heating up whatever his mom made for dinner. By the time he finished everything he had to do, it was close to 11:30, but nothing could’ve stopped him from trying that shirt on.

He’d never felt this sort of need before. It’s not a need like a crush-on-someone need where its just an aching. Or a need where its an I-want-that need where you forget you’re supposed to breathe when thinking of whatever it is. It’s a new need, one that doesn’t have a name yet. To him, it just feels like an unstoppable force. This isn’t physics though, there is no immovable object. There’s just his hands, complying as he removes the shirt from the bag, standing in front of the bathroom mirror waiting to try it on.

He holds it up first and just admires it. And then he admires how much Blue must know him to get him the most perfect shirt. Simons’ not even thinking about the fact that it was Elliott Smith--- an A+ right there in his book--- but the fact that it was just the kind of fan merch he’d wear. There is fan merch that goes way over the top, like, who would ever wear that over the top. There’s also fan merch that is more casual but just feels wrong; like the lyric they chose is weird or the design is off. Simon would browse the internet for hours looking at potential band tees he would wear if he felt like he had the right and confidence to. And, of course, Blue got him the most perfect shirt. It’s simple and not flashy. Muted colors. Comfortable fit. He’s too distracted thinking about how this boy must know him so deeply that he stands there for five minutes without even putting it on.

When he finally felt ready to try it on, Simon slipped his hand through the bottom of the shirt, but about halfway up, he felt something too thick and scratchy to be a tag. Frantically, he lifts the shirt to eye-level and sees a second piece of blue-ish-green construction paper.

In his effort to remove the paper, he’s so excited he almost rips it. His hands shake so much as he holds it up he almost can’t read it.

Taking a deep breath to calm himself down, he begins to read the note.

P.S. I love the way you smile like you don’t realize you’re doing it. I love your perpetual bed head. I love the way you hold eye contact a moment longer than you need to. And I love your moon-gray eyes. So if you think I’m not attracted to you Simon, you’re crazy.

And then, underneath it, a phone number.

Blue gave me his phone number. He actually gave it to me.

7 million thoughts buz through Simons head at once. Is blue waiting for him to text him? Did he pressure Blue into giving the number to him? Should he text him now or wait? What does this mean?

And then: I can text him a thanks instead of emailing one.

Rushing back to his room without even trying the shirt on, Simon begins drafting texts to Blue.

Simon: Hey, It’s me Simon. Thanks for the shirt.

Simon: Hey, It’s Simon. I love the shirt.

Simon: It’s me, Simon. I cannot believe you got me a freaking Elliott Smith shirt AND gave me your number!

He went with the last one and collapsed on his bed to scream into a pillow, fitfully. Life is a Ferris Wheel indeed. He thought he’d ruined everything they had, and then Blue turns around and gives him his phone number.

He waits up for another fifteen minutes, but decides he can’t possibly keep his eyes open any longer. He knew there was a good chance Blue would already be asleep anyway.

The next morning, he wakes up to no new text messages. He checks his phone every five minutes anyway, despite the fact that his volume is up all the way. Yeah, so he’s that pathetic.

No new texts during his morning routine, during breakfast, during the drive to school. Nothing; it’s killing him. He knew Blue had to have a reason for giving him his number. He wouldn't do it if he had no intent of answering. Maybe he just needs some time to comprehend that this is happening. Simon would give him all the time in the world if he knew it meant in the end he would get to see Blue in person and kiss him and his perfectly grammatical lips.

It would just mean he needed more patience. He could do patience; sometimes. He just needed to relax.

Walking into the school, he headed towards his locker. The hustle and bustle of the hallways was so obnoxiously loud that he almost didn’t hear his phone go off.

Almost

But of course he heard it.

Simon reached so quickly into the pocket of his sweatshirt to grab his phone and whip it out, that he accidentally threw it into the person at the locker he happened to be passing.

Gasping, Simon looked towards the direction of where he flung his phone and his eyes met those of cute Bram.

“Hey, I’m so sorry man. I’m a bit of a mess this morning my bad.”

Bram looked at me from his position at his locker, hands cradling my phone where he caught it on reflex. His eyes softened when he saw it was Simon he was now forced into a conversation with, which he guesses for him was better than if some stranger had been the person to accidentally throw their phone at him. He really does seem to have a small problem with the quiet thing. Simon could see his shoulders relax a little from reflex tension and social interaction pressure.

It’s only occurring to me now how little he know about him despite the fact that he’s played soccer with one of his best friends for years and they sat at the same lunch table all school year long thus far.

Bram reaches out and hands him back his phone, smirking slightly, in the way cute Bram often does at the lunch table when Garrett says something stupid or Nick makes a fool of himself in front of Abby. “Must be something good on there.” He says, obviously making a casual play at my excitement which caused this interaction in the first place.

Simon takes the phone. “Huh. I guess so.” He holds the phone up and does that smile nod thing to say thank you and continues on his way down the hall. Once he turns the corner and gets to his locker, he opens it and take out his phone behind the locker door. Sure enough, there it is. A reply.

Blue: So, I’m guessing you liked it?

Perfect grammar and punctuation, even in text. Anyone like Nick or Leah doing that and Simon would’ve ripped them apart for being a huge nerd. But, suddenly Blue does it and he just finds it incredible hot. Figures.

Simon: Are you kidding me?? Best gift I’ve ever received. Easily top 10.

And the rest of his morning continues just like that. Simon patiently waiting to feel his phone vibrate against his leg while also trying his best to remain invested in class. There are more weird breaks between texts but he’s not dense enough to not be able to apply that to the fact they’re in school.

The conversation continues naturally, the way it would in their emails. Simon is so blissfully happy that he finally has Blues number that he doesn't even care when two of his teachers have to remind him that phones are prohibited in school.

He’s antsy all day waiting to be able to pull out his phone and respond to Blue’s texts, but it really reaches its height during lunch.  

For one, he keeps his phone on the table instead of in his pocket. This way, when it lights up he can see it and doesn’t have to pull it out. He knows he’s being pathetic, he’s just too giddy to care.

“What is up with you?” Abby questions from directly across from him, snapping him out of his eager daydream. “All you can do is glance at that phone. What’s on it, something juicy I hope.”

“Ha Ha.” Simon deadpans. “As if. It’s nothing” he says, moving his plastic fork around the pasta salad on his plate. As far as school lunches go, it’s definitely not bad. But that still doesn’t make him feel inclined to eat it.

“She’s right, Si.” Leah says from next to me. “I’ve never seen you so invested in the thing.” Leah makes a face that, to someone like Abby who she’s only known for a few months, would seem like she pleasantly agrees, but to me, seems like she would like anything else in the world than to agree, but she does.

“Oh, whatever, I’m not invested, see?” Simon says as he tucks his phone back into his sweatshirt middle pocket, trying all too hard to seem casually like he doesn’t care at all that he has to put it away.

“He was so excited over it this morning he practically assaulted me with it.” Everyone looks up at the fact that Bram was the one who next put into the conversation. It’s not like he never speaks, he does; it’s just usually he does in small sentences or phrases, and mostly when Nick or Garrett are involved. So when Bram speaks up in a conversation mainly featuring me, Abby, and Leah, it pretty much made the entire table want to join rather than just spectate.

Cute Bram, tried acting like the sudden attention wasn’t getting to him, but Simon could see that his jaw was a little tense, as if he’d clenched it slightly, waiting for someone to say something.

“Buddy, come on. If BRAM joined the conversation to say so, then something’s up with you and the phone.” Nick claims from his spot next to Bram, where he gripped him on the shoulders and slightly shook him when mentioned his name.

Bram blushed a little and released a small pointed laugh. The blush looked really good on him, coloring his tanned cheeks. Simon himself, felt his face get a little hot and he mumbled another “yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever” before returning once again to his pasta salad.

The rest of his day blurs by. He almost doesn't survive the entirety of play practice without being able to check his phone, which Abby notices and fondly teases him about. At home, he texts Blue in between working and eating and everything else. He was smiling at his phone below the table so often during dinner he was too distracted to hear his mothers’ “would you like to be excused, Simon?” and responded with a meek “hmm?”

Wednesday went mostly the same. It was so much nicer texting Blue continuously rather than having to wait for wifi to answer an email.

This time, he gets to lunch and he's careful to not make it obvious that he’s waiting on his phone.

After five minutes of half-heartedly listening to Nick and Garrett complain about the new soccer drills their coach is running while Bram enthusiastically nods at their points and occasionally adds his own two cents, Simon can’t help it and pulls out his phone.

He sees a response from Blue. He hadn’t felt his phone go off, it must have been while he was walking back to the table or something.  

Blue: I see you haven’t taken Mr. Wise’s advice about those sentence fragments.

Laughing slightly to himself, forgetting his surroundings, He types a reply.

Simon: I thought you loved my sentence fragments! Is there someone else with more adorable sentence fragments? You can tell me, it’s okay. I can handle it.

He bites back his smile, trying to seem like he was just casually checking his phone, looking at the time, texting his mom.

And then something happens.

He presses send on his reply, just as his phone is going back in his pocket, looks up, and a phone goes off somewhere in close proximity.

No one else even flinched at the noise, instead the guys at his table continued their stimulating soccer conversation which Abby listened in on, and Leah spoke in hushed tones to Morgan and Anna.

He looked around but couldn’t see anyone visibly looking down at their phones; not near enough to matter anyway.

Taking advantage of the sudden invisibility at his table, Simon pulled out his phone to perform an experiment.

Simon: what changed your mind into giving me your number, btw?

Simon made sure that he was looking up and alert when he pressed send this time.

Once again, somewhere nearby, a phone went off, same as before. It had to be at one of the tables surrounding his. The first time could’ve been dismissed as a coincidence, but both times? Simon wasn’t superstitious enough to believe it could’ve happened twice.

As he’s about to start casually staring down the occupants of every table surrounding his trying to scout out the source of the phone, he notices cute Bram excuse himself from Nick and Garrett, who barely acknowledge his leaving, and head towards the door. As he does so, he reaches into this back pocket and pulls out his phone.

There’s no way, he thinks. There’s no way Blue is cute Bram. The same Bram who’s been at his lunch table right in front of him the whole time. He thinks about what he knows.

He thought he knew Bram liked Leah based on the other day, but Simon realizes he failed to see that Garrett was also present in the conversation it could easily have been him crushing on Leah.

He knows…...he knows nothing. He knows Bram is quiet, quiet can relate to Blue’s shyness.

He also knows Bram is really smart. He need only remember the paper Mr. Wise accidentally gave him of Brams. Good at english means grammatical.

He doesn’t know about his religion, but he knows he doesn’t have Blue eyes that’s something right?

Bram. wait. Bram.  

“Garrett.” Simon says. “Garrett!” A little louder.

He gets his attention. Garrett looks slightly inconvenienced at his conversation about the price of his new cleats being paused but he answers anyway. “What, Spier?”

“What is Bram short for?”

“What?” Garrett responds at first. “Abraham. Why?”

Abraham.

Abraham Lincoln.

Simon doesn’t answer. He gets up as casually as he can manage and tries not to trip over his shoelaces as he walks maybe a little too quickly to the doors of the cafeteria.

Bram. It has to be Bram. How could he never have seen it?

Pushing the doors out of the cafeteria open, he glances down the hallway to the left and right. To his left, leaning against a random locker, facing the opposite direction, is Bram.

Even though Simon cannot see the front of him, he can see that Bram is hunched a little, leaning over something. It has to be his phone.

He decides to try something. He takes out his phone and turns the ringer on, putting it up on full volume, and waits. He walks out of the doorway so that he’s about 10 feet behind Bram facing him, holding his phone.

And then, it happens.

He sees Bram stand up straight again, and, just after he does, Simon’s phone goes off. Loud.

They’re the only two people in the hallway which makes it echo off of the lockers. He knows Bram heard it. He saw his shoulders slightly tense when he heard the noise.

Slowly, Bram turns around, and his eyes meet Simons.

They’re wide and unblinking. He doesn’t seem as if he knows what to do, and, honestly, neither does Simon. He’s been waiting for months to meet Blue, and now that he has, he doesn’t know what he should be doing or saying.

Instead, Simon looks down at his phone, at Brams text.

Blue: No one else has sentence fragments as cute as yours, I promise. I don't know exactly. I was dead set against not giving it to you, but then in school I saw you smile at one of your friends and I suddenly changed my mind. ;)

Simon sees that Bram still hasn’t moved from his spot, so he texts him.

Simon: Bram?

He looks up as the phone in the hands of the boy he loves goes off once again, a few feet down the hallway.

Bram also looks down when his phone goes off, another loud echo through the hallway.

Right afterward Simon begins walking forward towards Bram, but as he gets close enough to be in arm distance, Bram puts his arm on Simons elbow and ushers him into the classroom closest to them, which happens to be unoccupied.

Inside Simon walks forward and runs a hand through his hair as Bram quietly shuts the door.

Simons turns to face him, one hand still in his hair, the other one by his side. Bram stands there, his hands in front of him one tightly gripping the other, his face unsure of what exactly to say. But he speaks anyway. “Simon I-”

But Simon doesn’t want to talk. Simon just found the boy he’s been in love with for months. After so much bullshit and secrecy and Martin fucking Addison, Simon’s done talking. He surges forward and places his hands on Bram’s cheeks and kisses him.

He feels all the tension melt out of Bram as his arms wrap around Simons waist. The kiss is short. It only lasts about 3 seconds, and it's not enough. But right now, Simon would take anything.

He pulls back and looks at Brams face, his hands still on his cheeks and brams arms still hugging his middle.

“I can’t believe you sat at my lunch table all fucking year and I didn’t know.”

Bram laughs and removes his arms from Simon. Simon takes the hint and takes a step back, his hands back to his own sides.

Now it's Bram’s turn to nervously run his hand through his hair. He looks down and bites his lip just a little. Simon wants to kiss him again.

“I guess I feel kind of stupid now for not giving you my number sooner.” He says and looks back up at Simon.

“No, you had every right to wait. I shouldn’t have pressured you the way I did anyway.”

“No, Si, man come on you didn’t do anything wrong.” He reaches across to grab Simon’s hand “If I could’ve predicted that kiss I definitely would’ve given it to you sooner.”

Simon smiles at him. “Oh yeah?” He says, taking a step closer.

“Mhmm” Bram says, him this time being the one to kiss Simon. This one lasts no longer than the last as Bram pulls away again and says “but we should probably go back to lunch.”

Reluctantly, the two stagger their return to the lunch room, Bram first, saying he went to the bathroom, and then Simon a minute later.

Simon walks back in and sits down, focusing too hard on his seat and tray as to not stare pointedly at Bram on the other side of the table and a seat down.

“And where’d you go, weirdo?” Says Abby who tilts her head in a youre-still-acting-super-odd sort of way.  

“Wait,” Leah says, “let me guess...to find service!” Nudging his arm with her unused plastic knife.

“Something like that yeah.” Simons says smirking a little. He deals with his friends friendly prodding about his new phone obsession for the rest of the period and laughs at all the right moments, though his head is somewhere else. Somewhere across the table and a seat or two down.

The rest of the night goes something like the last. His phone constantly going off and Simon constantly smiling ear to ear at it. The next morning too. All of it relatively familiar.

And then he gets to lunch. He sits in his usual seat. The end of the table right next to Leah, across from Abby and then Nick and finally, Bram. He says hi to everyone as he sits and throws a hidden smirk towards Bram who returns one.

He takes out his phone and reads the text that's been waiting for him.

Bram: I thought you should know that Garrett has been asking me all year why I suddenly get even quieter at lunch despite the fact that it's him and Nick.

Simon: WAIT. You mean I’M one of the cute guys who makes you all nervous?

Simon cant help but smile at his phone, not knowing that he’s caught the attention of about half the table since he’d sat down. He looks up, still trying to bite the smile off his lips, and then sees Abby, Leah, and Garrett all looking at him with an amused sort of expression. Nick is too invested in his mac and cheese. That helps the smile go away pretty quickly.

“What!” he defends. Glancing around at all of his friends individually.

“Okay” Abby begins saying. ”I MUST know who you’re texting. Come on Simon.” She has a determined look on her face that says she’s joking enough to be kind about it, but she’ll do everything she can to find out who it is.

“It’s none of your business actually, so I think I’ll just send my text, put my phone away, and change the topic of conversation.” Simon says, smirking right back at her, his phone now visible above the table which before he’d used as a shield to type. He uses one arm to hold Leah directly where she is next to him, while they all laugh at her trying her best to see around him at his phone. Chuckling, he uses his other hand to send his text to Bram.

He just hadn’t even considered the fact that maybe he should wait, maybe Bram forgot to turn his phone on vibrate. Maybe he should’ve played the phone thing off again.

But of course he didn’t do that.

And of course Brams phone went off at a loud enough volume for the entire lunch table to hear, causing Leah to stop fighting against Simons arm, Abby to stop laughing, and even Nick to look up from his food. Even Garrett stopped what he was doing to open his mouth at the boy sitting next to him.

Bram had paused in the middle of opening his water bottle. Suddenly, as if someone had pressed play on a remote, he continued opening the water bottle and stared straight ahead while he drank some, trying to act like no one just heard his phone go off from his pocket.

“Bram” you could hear the smile in Abby's voice as she said it. “Was that YOUR phone that went off after Simon sent his text?”

Simon could do nothing but watch as he felt the color rush into his cheeks. He watched the event unfold, unable to say anything.

“No” Bram responded too quickly, his voice an octave higher than usual. He began to play it off. He cleared his throat and tried again. “No, definitely not.”

Two more seconds passed, and then the entire table erupted.

Garrett was smacking Bram on the arm and saying “way to go Greenfeld holy shit!” while Bram laughed and played into it.

Leah and Abby are firing questions at Simon like its nothing. How did this happen? How long had he been texting him? But seriously how did this happen?

Nick was glancing back and forth between both of them going “nowaynowaynowaynoway.”

Simon didn’t care though. He laughed as Garrett and his friends got the most out of this sudden discovery, and in the midst of all the craziness, he met Brams eye, and his smile got impossibly wider. Bram smiled right back as he swatted Garretts arm away again, and the whole rest of day couldn’t have done anything else to make him happier than that smile made him.

Simon was good.

thanks for reading!!! hope you enjoyed!! message me with comments or anything!! I will gladly take requests for more fics if I can work with them!!

-Emma :)

[differencesintheworld]

Random Kira and Keriahe headcanons coz I had them written out on discord.

- Kira is an unintentional show-off. She isn't trying to show off, but sometimes someone goes bet and she goes all out and then says "No sweat". She is not trying to one up someone or be high and mighty, she is just used to having to function at 100% at all times.

- She is also an avid gamer in her downtime, especially fighting games. She is surprisingly good at them despite most people assuming she is too busy to play.

- Contrary to what Lola and Jake believe, Kira does not neccesarily enjoy singing. She uses singing to force herself into a correct breathing technique and calm down. It's a coping mechanism, not a hobby.

- Kira tends to give people animal nicknames, except for a couple exceptions.

=Mai (her sister) is "Rabbit" or "Bunny" because of her twintails and love for rabbits.

=Shizune (informant) is "Lhasa Apso" as they are very friendly dogs, but with a keen intution and are great guard dogs despite their tiny size, due to the fact they are tattle-tale dogs, and warn owners of intruders immediately.

=Manta(informant) is "Kame" or "Turtle" because he is well known for having what she calls Iron Defence. Despite his violent nature Manta prioritizes defense over offence in battle and is hard to get through.

=Aoyama (informant) is "Kabe Ni Kumo" or "Spider on the wall" - a play off the phrase "Fly on the wall" due to Aoyama having a wide net of connections and also having intimte insider knowledge with nobody suspecting it.

=Jake (adopted brother) is "Puppy" because he is very loving, energetic and frankly goofy like a puppy.

= Eiichi (Keriahe's twin) is "House Cat" as a play off of Keriahe's "Feral Cat". It's ironic now since Eiichi has been turned into a werewolf.

= Midoriyama and Aozora (informants) are simply nicknamed from their last names, because they are struggling to find their own identity after the experiments they had undergone. She isn't forcing a nickname upon them, and just calls them off of parts of their surnames.

= Sakazaki (informant) is "Botchan" which means "Young Master" in reference to his more nobility like behaviour. It is also in reference to Natsume Souseki's "Botchan", as she somehow sees a similiraty between the character and Sakazaki.

- Kira cannot and will not use a long sword. The longest she will go is a Wakizashi, which would barely be longer than her forearm. She feels like long blades are unwieldy. She was trained in sword fighting by one of the agents in TPA, among other things. That being said she can fight with a long staff just fine.

- Kira has been trained in randomest of things. From car jacking and racing, to Kung fu, Karate, Taekwondo, cappoeira, boxing, kickboxing, wushu, taichi.. She was taught by different agents, so she picked up most of these from all of them. Kinda like a puzzle. She has a mixture of these styles, which is why her original stance looks stiff, to not give away her next move.

- Keriahe has been interested in Karate and Taekwondo and has been taught Karate by her father and older siblings, and Taekwondo she picked up from a streetfighter. That being said, Keriahe is stronger and faster than most of her peers, potentially due to a side-effect of the Akuma curse, so she is formidable in her own right.

-Keriahe also has the most unhinged way of fighting. She will ram through you, or jump off walls to drop kick you. Her only rule is that the fight has to be fair, so no kicking in the nuts and no throwing sand in the eyes.

- Kira and Keriahe together are pretty much, immovable object vs unstopable force, and fights between them mostly end in a tie.

- Pretty much half of the Akuma family had received some sort of training in combat, because of their parents past as members of the TPA.

- You can't pay Kira enough to use a gun and shoot someone. She can shoot to disarm on rare occasions, but mostly she will stick to knives or hand to hand, even while having a gun pointed to her head. She can use a gun for the intimidation tactic, playing off as if she could shoot. But don't be fooled, she won't.

- Kira takes care of a wolf pack near her home and the closest wolves to her are;

= Kyo - the white wolf, seems to be the eldest and the seeming leader, whom she unwittingly called after her father,

= Gunner - A dark gray, husky looking fella, with brown and green heterochromia, who is actually a werewolf stuck permanently in his wolf form,

= Copper and Ginger - two twin wolves she pretty much raised since they were puppies. They are brown in color but ginger seems to almost have freckles due to a messy fur coloration on her face. Copper seems to be calmer, while Ginger still acts like a puppy and is more dog like than wolf like. Their mother is one of the wolves in the pack, who pretty much kept dumping the two on Kira before hunting.

- Kyo seems to nearly understand Kira perfectly too. Some believe he is a reincarnation of her father as the wolf is protective of Kira and when she is home will mostly stay by her side if not out on a hunt. In fact, he was the wolf that lead her to the abandoned building that got rebuilt for her by her uncle. It's just smack dab in Kyo's packs territory.

- Due to Kira living with the pack, she has somewhat started understanding their body language and what each howl means. She can replicate them, to warn of hunter traps or call for help if she gets ambushed in the woods. Kristoph (A close friend) responds to them as well.

- Keriahe got Samwise at a pound. Her parents wanted to gift her a puppy, so they thought the local pound could have a good doggo. Cue a doggo running away from the staff and jumping at Keriahe right as they come into the door. Apparently the shelter were going to put him down, to which Keriahe rioted and adopted him immediately.

- Originally she wanted to name the dog Greased Lightning, but Mom vetoed it, so now he is Samwise - like Samwise Gamji. Sam for short!

- He is a german shepherd and golden retriever mix and is super fast much like Keriahe is.

- Very much so has a goldie brain.