#she has so much experience and certifications that she did not need to be at helmets and harnesses

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Yesterday I got the chance to go on the zip line, and I'm desperately afraid of heights but I still want to do things at heights, like the climbing wall or a high ropes course. And I've tried both of those things but quit very soon or before even starting, because I can't fucking do heights. But last night I got the chance to do zip line and I really wanted to, but was incredibly terrified.

So one of my dearest friends, a woman I deeply like and love, first reassured me (I was afraid I was too heavy for the zip line) and then said "Would it help if I went with you?" And yeah, she's one of the sweetest people I've ever met and she's an incredibly comforting presence, of course I said yes.

So we walked up to the zip line platform, and this is her job so she's very good at reassuring people (usually little children, but it worked for me too) who are scared to go on the climbing wall or zip line. So as I was trying to comfort myself, she told me how it would work, and that I could just sit and the harness would hold me, so I tried that and it helped, and she told me I could just lift my legs and I'd go. So I did, and she went at the same time as me, and

My god, the anxiety and the thrill, flying through the air with her next to me, seeing her wave at me as we went, getting off at the end and her asking, "So do you want to do it again?" And wanting to do it again with her, it was one of the most amazing feelings I've ever felt. I truly felt like I could've done anything I wanted with her by my side.

[writingonleaves]

i've been yours since you stepped through the door tonight - andrei svechnikov

pairing: andrei svechnikov x original female character

warnings: swearing, drinking alcohol, lotta fluff, inaccuracies regarding anything athletic trainer related (timeline of training, terminology, etc), proofread maybe once, mentions of injuries, author has never been to raleigh, mostly based off the first hald of the 2023-2024 season but i couldn't be bothered to keep track how often svech had been in and out lmfao

title: "almost touch me" by maisy kay, also inspired by "lowkey" by NIKI

word count: 16k

author's note: this idea's been swirling around my head for awhile now, but @wyattjohnston's summer fic exchange 2024 inspired me to really revive it. @callsign-denmark, this is for you, my friend. i hope you enjoy it!

~*~*~

“Chrissy!”

Christina turns around from where she’s restocking ice packs in the training room. She nods at the smiley Russian. “Svech.”

He walks to her and swings an arm around her shoulder in a friendly side-hug. “Good summer?”

“It was alright,” her summer back home in the Delaware suburbs wasn’t anything to write home to. And Andrei Svechnikov is technically a coworker who doesn’t need to know everything. “Good to be back though.” 

“I know what you mean,” he says. Andrei leans back against one of the treatment tables. “You graduated, right? College?”

She blinks. When did she ever mention that to him last season? “I did. Back in May. The week after playoffs ended.”

“Congratulations.”

She smiles genuinely, turning to face him completely. “Thank you. Did you need something?”

“Nope,” he says with a smile that somehow still stuns Christina even after a season of seeing it so much. “I just wanted to say hi and welcome back.”

“Well, welcome back to you too.” As he’s turning away to go to fitness testing, she calls out. “Hey! Come back after you’re done. Should check on the knee before you go home.”

He halts, turning back around with a raised eyebrow. “Is that part of my regimen to get back to playing?”

“Has Doug told you?”

“Told me what?”

Clearly not then. Trust her boss, who’s lovely but also like a purposefully annoying father, to leave it to her to break the news. “They put me in charge of you this season.”

“Me?”

“Well, your recovery. And not completely. Obviously, Doug will still have final say. But if anything’s going on, I’m your person. Especially as you’re getting back into it.”

“Oh?” Andrei smirks and Christina refuses to be affected by it. 

“Is that gonna be a problem?”

He shakes his head slowly. “Of course not. I trust you.”

“Then I better see you before you leave today.”

“Deal.” He shoots her one last smile. “Bye Chrissy.”

“See you later, Svech.” Andrei brushes shoulders with Brady and they exchange excited greetings. She waits until Andrei leaves the room and smiles. “What can I do for you, Brady?”

“Got any tape?”

“Plenty.” She heads to the cabinet. “Take a seat.”

Christina Hawthorne feels very fortunate to even be back in this training room. After a co-op with the Hurricanes last season with their athletic training team, she graduated from UNC Chapel Hill in the spring. They liked her enough to offer her a position on the team for this season while she prepares for her certification test in January. They’re putting an immense amount of trust in her, and she couldn’t be more grateful. 

She loves the guys, so it’s nice to see that they seem to like her enough to keep her around. 

When she has a few free minutes with no players trailing into the training room, she wanders over to the gym. She may have had dreams to be a professional ballerina when she was very young, but actually working with professional athletes everyday is definitely a humbling experience. 

She’s sure to stay out of the way as the players are getting tested, leaning against the wall and sorta zoning out. She takes note of Andrei’s visible frustration at himself for not getting some of the results he wants. She knows that he won’t be ready for the first few games, and he knows too. But she’s sure he’s not happy about it. 

As promised, Andrei does come back to the training room after his fitness tests. She wrinkles her nose as Sebastian ruffles her dyed blonde hair in thanks for helping him stretch out before he leaves. She brushes her fingers through her hair to try and tame it. “Oh good, you’re back.”

“I promised, no?” He takes a seat on the table and puts his leg up. 

“How did today go?”

He huffs. “Fine.”

She presses her thumb against a particular part of his knee and he hisses. She immediately stops and does the same to the other side. No reaction there. She quickly turns to scribble something down in her notes. “I know this is annoying. But you’ll be back on the ice soon.”

“Not frustrated at you,” Andrei says, running a hand through his sweaty hair. “Just myself.”

“Don’t be,” Christina says, gesturing for him to lie down. “Have you been doing the stretches you’re supposed to be doing?”

“How do you know what I’m supposed to be doing?”

“Because I look over your notes and your trainers and the medical staff are in constant contact.”

He chuckles. “Right. Yes, I have been.”

“You lying to me?”

“Never.”

She bends his knee against his chest. “Then believe me. You’ll be back on the ice soon.”

“Okay,” he replies simply. “I believe you.” 

She twists slightly. “Any pain?”

“No.” 

Christina grins, then twists it the other way. “How about now?”

“No.”

“Music to my ears,” she gestures for him to sit up. “You’re good to go.”

“You sure?”

“Unless there’s something else you want me to look at.”

He shakes his head. “No. I think I’m good.”

“Then I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He gets up and flashes her a smile. “See you, Chrissy. Thanks. As always.”

She waves him off. “Just doing my job. Have a good night.”

…..

College was hard, but having a full-time job while trying to study for a certification is a whole new game. Trying to fit in study time while doing a job that already has weird hours is also another thing. Christina’s lucky that the athletic training and medical team understands and lets her study when the players are on the ice or she’s not needed. She even has her own little table in the trainers’ office this year, where she’s often found pooling over textbooks and scribbling notes. 

Training camp and pre-season is a chaotic time for a lot of reasons. There’s more players to keep track of and people are dusting off their rust. No one ever wants to get hurt of course, but especially not during pre-season. Which means everyone is also taking extra precautions. With new faces comes new routines and an adjustment period. 

Christina has a few moments of quiet, the last pre-season game occurring later that evening against Nashville. Players aren’t coming into the arena for at least another hour, and she pours over a chapter in her textbook. She has a pink highlighter in her mouth and a blue one in her hand when someone knocks on the wall. 

She looks up to see Andrei, who looks amused. “Sorry. Are you busy?”

She spits out the highlighter gracefully and caps them both. “Not at all. What’s up?”

“Are you sure?” He nods over to her books. “You look busy.”

“What’s up, Svech?” She repeats. 

He takes the hint. “Can you stretch out my hamstring?”

“Is it-”

“No. It’s not bad enough to need Doug. Just a little tight. And you said I should go to you whenever I need something.”

She stands up as they both head into the training room. “I did say that, yes. Which one?” He points at his right hamstring and she starts. 

“What were you doing earlier? With the books?”

“I’m taking a certification exam in January.”

“For what?”

“To become an official athletic trainer.”

“You’re not one already?”

“I am not,” she says. “Don’t worry. That’s why Doug and the rest of the team do all the nitty-gritty stuff.”

“I’m surprised,” Andrei says. “I thought you were, like, official. You seem to know everything.”

She chuckles, feeling a knot and focusing on that area. “That’s kind of you. I definitely don’t though.” She sees his breath hitch and grimaces. “Sorry. Just a few more seconds.”

“It’s your job,” he says in a strained voice. “You don’t have to apologize.”

“Well, I still feel bad when my job elicits pain in others,” she says. After two minutes, she nods. “Need more?”

He moves his leg around and shakes his head. “I think I’m good. Thanks.”

“Of course.” She looks at the clock hanging up on the wall and furrows her eyebrows. “You’re in early.”

Andrei shrugs. “I like to come in early.”

“I know,” the right side of her lip quirks up as tilts her head to the side. “This is really early though, even for you.”

“Well, you’re in too,” he says. “So why can’t I be?”

She chuckles. “I’m not saying you can’t, Svech. I’m just saying I didn’t expect to be seeing any hockey player for at least another hour.”

“Was feeling too restless at home,” Andrei says. 

She suddenly gets an idea. “Are you busy right now? Am I keeping you from anything?”

Ha shakes his head, “Not at all.”

“Wanna help me study?”

“I don’t know if I can be much help.” Nonetheless, he follows her back into the offices. 

She pulls out a chair for him to sit in and opens her textbook back up. “I study best when I can talk to someone and describe a concept or topic and they tell me it makes sense. I would be a shitty athletic trainer if I can’t tell the athlete what I’m doing.”

“So all I have to do is sit here and listen?”

“And ask questions if I’m not making any sense,” she bites her lip. “Again, if you have other places to be, I get it. This isn’t the most interesting stuff but-”

“No, no.” He assures before smiling widely. She has an urge to poke her finger in his dimple. “I’d love to help.”

Christina smiles in satisfaction as she flips through her pages. Andrei sits back and makes himself comfortable. 

Yeah, she’s glad to be back. 

…..

Every year, the players, coaches and staff head out to a bar in downtown Raleigh before the start of the first regular season game. It’s to stir up excitement and camaraderie before the season starts. Christina couldn’t make it last year because she had class, but as she’s looking at herself in the mirror —a fitted white t-shirt under a green leather jacket she rarely gets to wear that her sister bought her for Christmas and light washed flare jeans — she tells herself to call the damn Uber before she backs out. 

It’s not that she doesn’t like her coworkers. She really likes them, actually. But seeing them outside of work in a social situation where she could make a fool of herself is a bit anxiety-inducing. 

Once she thanks her Uber driver, she steps out into the swanky rooftop bar that has her tapping her foot as she waits for the elevator. Once she steps up, it’s easy to find the Canes crew, various familiar faces crowded around a specific area of the spacious rooftop. Taylor, the head of social content, who Christina’s become good friends with, sees her first and waves her over, and soon Christina is enveloped in exciting chatter. Taylor, the saint they are, pushes a White Russian, Christina’s favorite drink, in her hands. 

Christina can’t feel too bad. The organization is heading the bill tonight and she’s gonna milk that for all it’s worth. 

A bit later, when she’s on her third drink of the night and feeling comfortably tipsy observing the people around her, she feels a tap on her shoulder. She turns around in her stool and immediately beams. 

“Andrei!”

Andrei laughs and returns Christina’s enthusiastic hug before he leans his hip against the bar counter. “Hey Chrissy. You having fun?”

“Plenty.” She giggles. “Especially now that you’re here.”

Maybe it’s her tipsy self or the bar lighting, but she swears his cheeks become redder. Pair that with his button up shirt that has the top buttons undone and a pair of dark jeans and Christina needs to chill. “I’ve been trying to get to you all night,” he says. “You’re a popular woman. I saw Coach laughing at your jokes.”

She shrugs nonchalantly, leaning her chin on her palm. “I’m a funny gal, what can I say?”

“A confident one too,” he says, nodding to her empty glass. “What are you drinking?”

“You do know that the tab is on the Canes tonight, right? You don’t need to butter me up with drinks.”

Andrei rolls his eyes playfully and Christina bursts out into giggles. “I’m not trying to..butter you up? What does that even mean?”

“Like, uh, flatter me or whatever to get something. Like you’re doing something only hoping that you’ll get something out of it.”

“I’m definitely not trying to do that. I’m just trying to be nice. So what are you drinking?”

She offers a toothy grin. “A White Russian, please.” She pokes his shoulder. “Kinda like you, I guess.” Andrei snorts before waving down the bartender to order her drink. She squints at the drink in his hand. “Just a beer?”

“Don’t feel like getting too drunk tonight.”

“How responsible of you.”

He smiles, and Christina is suddenly overcome by the urge to kiss him. But she shakes her head and refocuses back on whatever he’s saying. He leans in closer to hear her response and she has to swallow roughly so her voice doesn’t crack. 

Talking with Andrei is always so seamless. The conversation may shift between three different topics in two minutes but it feels natural. Christina never has an urge to overthink when she’s talking with Andrei. He’s funny and sweet and makes her feel like she’s actually being listened to. 

In a world where she’s surrounded by men on a daily basis, it’s stupidly rare to feel as heard as she does whenever she speaks to the star winger of the Carolina Hurricanes. 

After she finishes her drink, she realizes she should probably start thinking about going home. They all technically have work tomorrow, even if it’s a later start, and people are starting to filter out, having come by to say goodbye to the both of them in the last 10 minutes. 

She starts to stand up and immediately sways on her feet. “Woah,” Andrei says, immediately putting a hand on her waist to steady her. “Slowly.”

“I’m fine,” Christina says, slapping his hand but ultimately grabbing onto his wrist as she steadies herself. “I should probably get going.”

Andrei’s eyebrows furrow. “You didn’t drive here, right?”

Christina snorts, “Of course not. I took an Uber.”

“Where do you live?”

“The Six Forks area.”

He pinches their empty glasses and puts them on the bar counter, nodding in thanks to the bartender. “You’re on my way home. I drive you.”

“Where do you live?”

“North Hills.”

She narrows her eyes. “I’m not that drunk to know that that’s definitely not on your way. You’d be overshooting.”

“I don’t care. It’s late, and I’d feel more comfortable if I just drove you home rather than you taking an Uber.”

“Andrei.” She deadpans. “I’m a grown woman. I can get home myself.”

“I know. But just let me drive you. Please.”

She huffs. “Fine. Thank you.”

He grins, “Anytime. Let’s say goodbye to everyone and then we head out.” Christina stumbles again and his hand is immediately back on her waist. “Slowly,” he repeats. 

“I’m fine,” she repeats. 

After they both say goodbye to everyone who’s still at the bar (Taylor eyes her with a smirk, gaze shifting between Christina’s eyes and Andrei’s hand that’s hovering over her back. Christina just rolls her eyes and discreetly flips them off), Andrei leads her to the parking lot. 

Christina’s nose crinkles at the sight of the lamborghini as Andrei unlocks it. “I forgot you drive this.”

Andrei lets out a loud laugh before opening the passenger door. “Don’t worry. I drive extra safe with you in the car.”

“Thanks,” she mutters, climbing in. She’s heard about his questionable driving. She hopes she doesn’t regret this. 

The engine roars to life and Christina rolls her eyes at the sound. Andrei just shoots her a smile before backing out of the spot. He unlocks his phone and hands it to her. “Put in your address.”

She hums, typing it in before putting his phone in the center console. She closes her eyes for a few seconds, before turning her head so that she’s facing him, leaning on the headrest. “You really didn’t have to do this.”

“You’re telling me you don’t like me as your personal Uber?” Andrei asks. She watches as he turns the wheel with one hand and rests his other hand on the center console shift. “You feel okay? I can open a window if you need.”

“I’m okay, Svech. Just don’t accelerate like a mad man.”

He laughs and she can’t help but giggle along. “I won’t. Promise,” he says. “You like to talk when you’re drunk.”

“Not drunk,” she mutters. 

Andrei’s hum blends in with the engine. “Sure.”

“Not drunk,” she repeats. “Especially not in front of you all. That would be unprofessional.”

“Why you afraid of being unprofessional? The staff loves you. The team loves you.”

“I’ve worked hard to get here,” she says, forcing her eyes back open so she doesn’t fall asleep. “But the fact that I got this job in the first place is a blessing. I’m not gonna do anything to fuck it up.”

He nods. She closes her eyes. He gently jostles her awake when they’re parked in front of her apartment. He insists on walking her up to the door, and she leaves him with another ‘thank you,’ a tight hug and a sleepy smile. 

He doesn’t move his feet until after a minute of staring at her front door.

…..

Opening night is always so thrilling. Of any sport. Christina has to tell herself to stop grinning so widely when the team is getting announced, making sweater paws with a Hurricanes crewneck she found on Etsy. She rocks back and forth in the tunnel, trying to stay out of everyone’s way on the side while simultaneously trying to see the ice and crowd. 

Once the game is about to begin and the arena lights come back on, Christina shakes her head at herself to focus. It’s go-time. Like last year, she’s not with Doug on the bench — the day she gets on the bench will be the day her heart rate explodes — but she’s closeby in the tunnel or in the training room, making sure everything’s all good and she’s not needed. 

“Hey.”

She turns to see Andrei, in his gray plaid game day suit coming from the bench where he was during player introductions. She smiles, “Hi. Happy season opener.”

“Happy season opener.” He grins. “The red earrings are back.”

Christina automatically reaches to touch the red rose earrings she has on tonight. She puts on a red pair of earrings every game day, whether its a flower, a cool design or ruby studs.

It’s something she just does for fun. For herself. She’s surprised that Andrei has noticed. 

“You heading up to the press box?”

“Yeah.”

They’re interrupted by Bob, the head equipment manager, greeting them with a grin “Miss you out there, Svech.”

“Soon,” Andrei promises. 

Bob turns to her with a playful raise of his eyebrow. “That true, Chrissy?”

Christina grins. “That depends on him,” she jokes. “No, he should be good to go soon. Let me know if you need any help tonight..”

Bob waves her away. “Of course. Can always count on you. See you both later,” He then heads back to the bench. 

She takes one last look at the bench to see if anyone needs anything. No one does. She turns back to Andrei. “Thanks again for driving me home last week.”

“Of course. Did you wake up okay?”

“I don’t get hungover.”

“Lucky you.” He shoves his hands in his pockets. “Are you heading on the road trip after this?”

“I’m not, actually. I should be on all the other ones though.”

“Why not this one?”

She chuckles. “Funnily enough, because of you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s my job. I also think it’s because it’s early in the season so I’m not really needed yet. Hopefully.” She grimaces, “I just jinxed it, didn’t I?”

Andrei laughs, while nodding a greeting at one of the assistant coaches passing by. “Maybe. I feel bad you can’t go on the road, though.”

“There'll be plenty of other chances. You can make it up to me by helping me study again,” she jokes. 

“I will do it,” he says seriously. 

“I was kidding.”

“I will do it,” he repeats and clears his throat. “I should head up.”

She nods. “Enjoy watching from above.”

“Thanks. I mean it. I will help you study while you put me through painful stretches.”

“The stretches shouldn’t be that painful otherwise you’re not ready to go,” she admonishes. She internally wants to cringe at her tone switch, but she can’t help it. 

Luckily, he just grins, a twinkle in his eye. “I know, I know. I’m teasing.”

She rolls her eyes. “Leave. I have work to do.”

He laughs, “See you later, Chrissy.”

…..

Last year, when she still had school, she couldn’t go on road trips either — until it came to the playoffs. So she knows what it’s like to come to the rink when no one’s really around. 

Christina’s planning just to come in for a few hours in the morning to gather her own notes and to organize a few things. Also, she might study for a bit, wanting a different environment than her apartment. Andrei also texted her — she got the number of every single player at the start of the season — saying that he’s planning to come in to work on some things with Steven, one of the other assistant athletic trainers who’s also staying behind this road trip. 

She taps her ID to get in, sipping her iced latte as she strolls down the hallway. She smiles and nods in greeting to a few staff members who she passes. Heading into the office, she sets her stuff down and immediately pulls out some of her notes, along with going through notes that the team has been sending on their road trip. 

She hears Andrei before she sees him, the sound of him and Steven talking echoing through the hallway. They come to the office and she gives them both a wave. 

“Good morning.”

Andrei and Steven both grin. “Morning,” they respond in unison. 

“Did you get Doug’s notes last night?” Steven asks. 

“Yeah. I’m in the middle of putting them in.”

“Amazing. Thank you.” Steven pats Andrei on the shoulder. “You’re all set this morning, Svech. Just remember what I said.”

Andrei nods as Steven leaves the room. “Thanks, Steve.” Steve puts his hand up in acknowledgement. Andrei pulls over a chair and sits down. She saves her work. He looks at the pair of old pointe shoes on her desk that she had just remembered to bring in. “What are those?”

“Old pointe shoes.”

“Well, yeah. I know what they are. Are they yours?”

She goes to play with one of the fraying ribbons. “They are. These are the last pair I wore before I left for college. I brought them in as something to put on my desk.”

“I didn’t know you danced.”

“Well, you don’t know that much about me.”

A pause, before the most beautiful smile spreads across Andrei’s face. “What makes this pair so special?”

Christina smiles bittersweetly. “I was pretty good. Like, went to international competitions good. Could’ve maybe done it for a living good. And I loved it so much. But I fucked up my ankle pretty badly when I was 15 and was never the same after that. I still danced and I made a full recovery, but, you know. At my dance studio, every graduating senior got to perform a solo at the yearly showcase and I did mine on pointe. It was a big moment for me.”

“And you did it in those shoes.”

She nods. “Yup.”

“Was professional dancer the first dream?”

“Yes and no. I think as I got older I realized I had other dreams and wanted to do other things. That didn’t fully sink into me until the injury. But it would’ve been cool, you know, be on a stage for a living.”

“Do you still dance?”

“When I can. UNC didn’t have a ballet company, so I tried to take classes out here in Raleigh. I’m a bit too busy these days, but I’d like to get back in a class at some point.”

Andrei hums, reaching to pick up a shoe. He hesitates, looking at her for permission and she nods at him to go ahead. “I just know you’re a beautiful dancer.”

She tries not to blush. But from the knowing glint in his eye, she knows she fails. He places the pointe shoe carefully back on her desk and she looks at the well-worn satin briefly, wondering what that life could’ve been like for her. 

But then her attention is brought back to Andrei as he asks a question relating to his recovery, and Christina knows she’s right where she wants to be. 

…..

The next day, when she’s not scheduled to go into work, she still somehow sees Andrei. 

Christina has just finished grabbing lunch with a college friend and decides to wander into a nearby cafe, its flowery and vine covered entrance enticing her. With a book in her tote bag and taste buds that always welcome coffee, she orders a latte and perches herself at a table by the window. 

She’s staring out the window lost in her own world when she hears his name being called out by the barista. She whips her head towards the counter. There’s not a lot of people you run into in Raleigh named Andrei. Before she knows it, she makes eye contact with him. She hates that he literally lights up before briskly walking over to her. 

A backwards cap and a gray henley has never looked so good before. It’s almost infuriating. 

He stops abruptly in front of her table, right hand bracing the chair across from her and left hand holding his coffee. “Are you waiting for someone?”

“Not at all.” She grins as he sits down. “Even on my off days, I can’t escape.”

Andre laughs, putting his coffee down on the table. “I come here all the time but I never see you here before.”

“I was in the area meeting up for lunch with a friend and the flowers outside convinced me,” she says. “Now that I know this is your spot, I’ll avoid it.”

He rolls his eyes. “Don’t do that.” He nods to her open book. “Reading?”

“Trying. Been trying to read a bit more because I never had time in college.”

“Did you like college?”

Christina smiles. “I did. Part of it was interrupted by the pandemic, but even then, I had a great time.”

“Are you from Raleigh?”

“No, I’m not. I grew up in Delaware, and my family’s all still there.” 

“Where’s that?”

She chuckles. “A small state around Maryland, Pennsylvania and New Jersey. The closest NHL teams would be the Caps and Flyers, probably. But my family are more football fans. Dad loves the Eagles.”

“So no hockey?”

“Not really. I honestly didn’t really get into hockey until working with the Canes.”

“So now what? You’re a Canes fan?”

“Because I work for them, sure. And you guys aren’t so bad off the ice either.”

Andrei laughs and it’s such a delightful sound. She puts her chin on her palm and listens as he continues talking.

She was hoping not to have to talk to a single person for the rest of the day. She ends up at that cafe with Andrei for over an hour.

…..

Christina grimaces at her TV as she watches the game end, the Hurricanes now on a three game losing streak. It’s still early in the season, but no one likes losing. She glances at her phone as it buzzes, knowing it’s a text from Andrei. They’ve been texting sporadically all night about the game that he’s also watching in his own home. He hasn’t outright said it to her, but she imagines it’s frustrating for him because he can’t be out on the ice with his teammates. 

Christina looks at his response with a quiet laugh, shoots back a text and tosses her phone a few feet away from her with a deep breath. 

The thing is, when she lets herself really think about it, her and Andrei’s professional relationship from the start has always been different compared to her relationship with the other players. From the first time she introduced herself and saw his smile, she knew this was gonna be tough. 

The athlete part of him doesn’t faze her — she’s danced with and been taught by world renowned ballerinas and she worked in the training room of various teams at UNC. It was his ingenuity and kindness that reeled her in. The accented voice paired with his ability to make things look so easy when she knows it’s anything but, always with a smile on his face. 

Christina would be lying to herself if she says she hasn’t ever considered her and Andrei as…more. She’d be an idiot not to. Obviously, she knows Andrei is incredibly handsome. She’s known that from the very first time she saw him in the training room last season. And it doesn’t help that he’s also so nice with no pretense. Nice just to be nice. 

But it would never happen. Could never happen. He has the entire city of Raleigh falling at his feet and she works with him. 

One night when she was a bit too wine tipsy in her dorm last year, she pulled out the contract she had signed and found the tiny section that addressed romantic relationships among “any members of the Carolina Hurricanes organization” and found some super vague shit basically saying that it was okay in most instances. Which it is. One of their assistant coaches is married to the head of the PR department. 

But she has an inkling that players are a whole different subclause. 

So while they developed a good rapport last season, Christina purposefully kept her distance a bit, sparing little details about her own life and always turning it back to him. To be fair, she was careful around everyone last season, not wanting to get in the way and just wide-eyed overall. But now she’s (hopefully) gonna be around for a bit and will try to let her personality shine a bit more. Push herself to be more casual and comfortable with the staff and team. 

Like texting Andrei about things that aren’t related to his recovery. 

It started with Andrei texting something funny about one of the pregame photos of Brady that had been tweeted. His comment made Christina snort out her tea as she quickly replied back. It’s not like they’re texting often, but it always puts a smile on her face whenever his name pops up on her phone. 

She knows she needs to be careful. But before anything else, she’s just glad to have another new friend. Someone at work she’s comfortable enough to joke around with. 

That’s enough for her. 

…..

Andrei’s long-waited season debut has the fans, his teammates and the whole staff excited. But no one’s more excited than Andrei himself, who’s bouncing around all day from the moment he walks in for his daily check-in.

As she watches him skate around for warmups, she grins at his infectious happiness. He picks up a water bottle and squirts water on her when he comes back to the bench for a moment and she wants to flip him off so badly. She totally would if there weren’t cameras around and if also wasn’t, you know, unprofessional. He’s lucky she’s wearing a black sweater today. Jordan reaches to pull on the ribbon in her hair and that’s when she makes her way off the bench, causing Doug and the other staff to laugh. 

Once the game starts, she does grimace a bit as she’s watching footage of the game from the training room when she sees Andrei go in for a heavy hit. She hears the cheers from the fans and she gets it, but he’s literally just coming off a season ending injury. Yes, he’s a professional athlete, but she’s (almost) a certified athletic trainer. 

They win 3-0 and everyone’s pumped. She’s busy documenting notes as the athletes start leaving the arena. Andrei, as instructed, comes in and she makes sure everything’s okay with his knee. 

“Hey,” she calls out before he leaves. He turns back around with an expectant smile. She beams. “Good game. Glad to have you back.”

“Thank you,” he says with a grin. “Good to be back.”

…..

When you work in such a team centered environment, there’s always someone around. Always someone to talk to and joke around with. She loves it. The collaboration of the work she does is probably her favorite part. 

But she also loves time by herself. So she vows to herself that on every road trip, after some studying, she’ll take the time to explore wherever she is by herself. Whether it’s simply grabbing a coffee or walking around whatever city they’re in or just sitting outside, she’ll carve out some time for herself, while exploring cities that she’s never been to.

The first mini road trip she goes on is to Philadelphia and New York. In Philadelphia, she heads to the Philadelphia Museum of Art. Her younger sister Layla is a graphic design major at Carnegie Mellon so she’s filtered some of her love and knowledge to Christina. With her airpods in, she wanders through the exhibits on her own. 

That’s another thing about post-grad. Learning how to do things alone. 

New York has a lot more options. She only has one full day she isn’t working and another half day. During the full day when she’s actually in the city, she meets up with a friend from high school for a nice walk around Brooklyn before dinner. On the half day, after morning skate in Long Island, she wants to just people watch outside for a few hours on a weirdly warm day for November. 

The elevator doors open and Andrei comes walking out, looking down at his phone. When he looks up, a grin spreads across his face and he locks his phone. “Hi Chrissy.”

She nods. “Svech.” The elevator doors close. That’s fine. She’ll catch the next one. “Where’d you just come back from?”

“Just grabbed some lunch with the guys after practice. Where you off to?”

“Honestly, probably also gonna grab a coffee and then sit outside by the water and just daydream. I brought a book, but we’ll see if I’m in the mood.”

Andrei laughs. “Sounds like a great day.”

It is her alone time, but she asks anyways. “Would you like to join?”

His eyebrows shoot up his forehead. “Oh. I don’t want to intrude or-”

“You wouldn’t be. I’m asking you.”

“Oh. Well, um, yeah, then. Sure. Give me a minute to use the bathroom?”

“Take your time.” He shoots her a thankful smile as he briskly walks to his room while she waits by the elevators, shifting on her feet. A few minutes later, he comes back out, this time with a backwards hat on. He shoves his hands in his off-white sweatshirt and she presses the elevator button, purposefully not looking at him.

There’s something about a backwards hat. It’s actually really annoying how attractive it is.

“How’s your first road trip been?”

Christina smiles as they step into the elevator. “Good. Went to an art museum in Philly. Saw a college friend in Brooklyn and just walked around the city. The rest of the time I’ve been with you guys.”

“You like art?”

“A bit. My sister’s studying graphic design, so her love for it has bleeded into my life.”

“That’s sweet. Are you two close?”

“Yeah. I don’t know if we’re as close as you and your brother though.” She teases, and she swears she sees his cheeks tinge pink as they walk out of the elevator and out of the hotel. “She’s much cooler than I am, just started her second year at Carnegie Mellon. I was actually just texting her because she’s trying to figure out flights to Raleigh for Thanksgiving.”

“She’s coming down?”

“Yup,” they start wandering to the nearby park. “Usually, we’d go back home to Delaware. But since we have games the day before and after and they’re at home, they’re all coming down to me. First Thanksgiving in Raleigh. They’ll probably come to a game or two.”

“That’s really nice.”

“How about you? Is your mom or dad coming to visit anytime soon?”

“Not sure yet, with Geno now back in Russia. My mom was mainly here to keep me company when I was injured. I’m sure you’ll get to meet her soon though.”

They see a cafe ahead of them and she suggests they pop in to grab something. He opens the door for her and also pays for her, which is really annoying and she takes note of his coffee order so that she can get him back once they’re home. Once they receive their coffees, they’re back outside and in the park, sitting and people watching while petting the dogs that occasionally come up to them.

“Do you miss dancing? Like, at the level you were before getting injured?”

A sad smile automatically appears on her face. “All the time. But it’s changed. It used to be more painful and frustrating to think about. Now it’s more of looking back at the good memories.”

“My grandma used to dance as well. She took my brother and I to a ballet in Moscow once. I honestly don’t remember much of it. I was too young.”

Christina chuckles. “Yeah, it’s not for everyone.” She lets out a deep breath. “God, I haven’t seen a ballet in ages.”

“Can I ask how bad your injury was?”

“A recurring stress fracture that required surgery,” she says. “I don’t know if they could ever actually diagnose it officially because it was so fucked up. Or maybe I just block it out of my brain because it was such a painful time.”

“Even after a full recovery, there was no chance to go on as intensely as before?”

“There might’ve been. But I made the choice that I didn’t want my ankles wearing down on me by 25 and like I said, I had other dreams.”

“That must’ve been a hard decision to make.”

Christina swallows. It’s been awhile since she’s talked about this with anyone. “It was. I was heartbroken, honestly. It just felt like my life was over, you know? Obviously, it wasn’t. But I didn’t know that at 15. But if that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have thought about going the athletic training route, and in a way, what I’m doing now connects to my dance background, so I’m happy where I am now.”

His eyes light up with hope. “Do you have a video of you dancing?”

She laughs. “I actually do.” She gets her phone out and searches for a particular video. “This was around a year ago. A little across the floor combo we were doing in a class.” She hands him her phone and looks over his shoulder to watch with him. It’s a short video, only about 20 seconds long, but it combines a bit of everything — waltz, pirouettes, leaps and footwork. 

He replays it again. She has no idea what to make of that. “I was right.”

“Hm?”

“You’re a beautiful dancer.”

“Oh. That’s kind of you. Thank you.”

“I mean it,” he says. “You have beautiful…lines? Is that the right word?”

“Yeah, actually.” He gives her a triumphant smile and she can’t help but laugh. “Thank you. That's really sweet. I appreciate it.”

He watches the video again. She stares at the side of his face, trying to see what he’s seeing. She can’t quite place it. The only thing she can place is her faster than normal heart rate.

…..

A loss against the Panthers at their barn, a win against Tampa on their ice the next day and then a loss against Philly at home. Andrei still hasn’t recorded his own goal, and Christina knows it’s eating him alive. 

It’s funny, because he’s trying not to let it show, especially in front of media. But Christina knows better, especially when he starts pushing himself on the ice even more. 

She’s not usually on the bench during morning skates. More often than not, she’s in the training room or her office, studying or doing miscellaneous tasks until players file in during or after practice for various needs. But once in awhile, she likes to walk out to the ice. Today, she’s taking her studying out there to see if the crispness of the air and the sounds of hockey keep her focused. 

She’s reading over a passage in her textbook when she sees a shadow fall over the page. She looks up to see Andrei drinking some water. 

“If you spray water on this book, you’re paying for another one,” she warns. 

“Of course,” he says with an easy smile. 

“I hope you’ve been stretching out your knee,” she says. “With how hard you’re going at during practice.”

“How do you know how hard I’m going in practice?”

“It’s part of my job,” she responds dryly, backing away and glaring at Seth as he reaches out to mess up her hair. 

“Coming out here to study now?” Andrei asks.

She shrugs. “Trying something new.”

“Is it working?”

“It was,” she says pointedly. 

Brady skates to a stop in front of them and laughs. “That’s her telling us to stop annoying her.”

“You could never annoy me, Skjeisy.” Christina grins. 

Andrei pouts. “What does Skjeisy have that I don’t?”

“The most beautiful smile,” she grins charmingly. Andrei playfully narrows his eyes and Brady shoots her a wink. No one’s flirting. Christina’s met Gracia a few times and those two childhood friends are very in love with each other. But it’s worth it to see Andrei squeeze water out of his water bottle in Brady’s face. 

“When’s your exam again?” Brady asks.

“January 7.”

“That’s soon.”

She sighs, staring down at her book. “Don’t remind me.”

“You’re gonna be great,” Andrei assures her. 

“Sure, if you all actually practice and leave me to study.” As if on cue, a whistle is blown and Christina waves her hand at them. “Shoo. If Rod blames me for distracting you, I’ll be out of a job.”

She takes some notes for a few more minutes before giving up and closing her books. She puts her elbows on her knees, resting her chin on the palms of her hands as she watches them focus on winning board battles and protecting the puck. Practice is more intense than usual today as Christina loses herself in the focused energy in the air, eyes tracking the puck and the players and how they’re positioning themselves around the puck. She almost laughs at herself at how hockey she sounds. Her football loving uncle would be proud and a bit confused. 

Practice is over, and Christina decides to stay on the bench until everyone clears the tunnel, knowing that if any players need treatment, Doug has it. He would text her a random emoji if he needed her anyways. Last game, he took a liking to the red-headed fairy. 

She squints at Andrei, who’s the only player on the ice now, as he takes shot after shot from the blue line. She just observes him and the determined look on his face, the smoothness in his shot. 

As if he can feel eyes on him, he turns around and laughs, before gathering the pucks and skating over to her. “Stalking me?”

“Observing,” she corrects. “How do you feel? Physically?”

“Good.”

“Good,” she says. “You look good.”

“Oh?”

She rolls her eyes. “You know what I mean.” She trails behind him as they head to the trainers room. “Don’t forget. Doctor’s appointment tomorrow.”

“I swear you’re my personal calendar.”

“That’s actually my second job” she says flatly, a smile peeking out after he grins at her. “Go get your protein shake or whatever disgusting thing you like to drink.”

“Sassy today.”

“I want to go home,” she deadpans. “I’ve been up since 5 a.m.”

To his credit, he looks concerned. “Why so early?”

“Studying.”

“Oh,” he says softly. “Well, make sure you sleep. Sleep is important.”

She has to chuckle. “Thanks Svechy. I’ll keep that in mind.”

He flicks his hand. “Go home.”

“I don’t think you have the authority to tell me that. You’re not my boss.”

“But I am,” they both turn to see Doug peeking out of a doorway. “Get out of here, Chris.”

She narrows her eyes playfully. “You schemers.” 

“Go sleep,” Andrei says, pulling at her ponytail lightly. She whacks his hand away. 

The last thing she sees as she walks into her office is his smirk. 

….

The day before Thanksgiving, she’s preoccupied with her parents and sister flying in for the first half of the day. She picks them up from the airport and takes them all to one of her favorite lunch spots before she has to head to work and they go sightseeing on their own. She offered to get them tickets for the game against Edmonton, but they waved her off. They’ll enjoy their time at a game on Sunday. 

Thanksgiving morning is peaceful, with the Macy’s Parade on the TV as everyone is just relaxing. In the afternoon, as Christina and her mom are taking charge of dinner, someone’s knocking on her apartment door. Immediately, Christina is confused. She’s almost positive her dad and Aimee grabbed her keys before heading out for a quick walk. She calls out a “coming” as the person knocks again. 

“Andrei?” 

He shifts from side to side, flashing a quick but genuine smile. He looks extra cozy in a brown sweatshirt and a backwards hat. “Hi Chrissy. Happy Thanksgiving. I’m sorry for interrupting.”

“Not at all. Happy Thanksgiving. What are you-what’s up?” 

He holds out a cake container. “Uh, I’m heading to Staalsy’s for Thanksgiving at their place, and I made ptichye moloko, which is a cake my mom makes for me back home in Russia. I made two. I was wondering if you wanted the other?” 

Her mouth drops open. “Oh, Andrei. That’s…you didn’t need to do that.” 

“I wanted to,” he replies. “And honestly, I hope it’s good. It’s my first time making it and I had to call my mom for help. I made too much batter so, two cakes.” 

She laughs, propping her hip against the doorframe, easy smile on her face. “I bet it’s delicious. Thank you. You’re so-you really didn’t have to do this.” 

Andrei shakes his head. “I wanted to-“

“Honey?” Marianne’s voice calls out from the kitchen. “Who’s at the door?” She doesn’t bother waiting for an answer before appearing. 

Christina internally sighs. “Andrei, this is my mom Marianne. Mom, this is Andrei. He’s one of the guys on the team.” 

Andrei balances the cake on one hand while reaching out to shake Marianne’s hand with the other, easygoing smile on his face. “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Hawthorne. I apologize for showing up without warning.” 

“Oh, no apology necessary!” Marianne smiles, and Christina can tell immediately that her mother is charmed. She wants to roll her eyes. “Are you staying for dinner? You’re more than welcome.” 

Andrei shakes his head. “No, though thank you for the offer. I’m on the way to our captain’s house. I just wanted to stop by and drop this off.” 

Marianne takes the cake from his hands with a delighted smile. “That’s so sweet of you.” 

“He made it himself,” Christina chimes in, smirking in his direction. “Hopefully it doesn’t poison us.” 

Andrei laughs. “Hopefully.” 

The door opens again, and her dad and sister are back from their walk around the block. Christina swallows. Guess he’s meeting the whole family today. 

“Andrei, this is my dad Mark and my sister Aimee. Father and Aimee, this is-“ 

“Andrei Svechnikov,” her dad finishes for her. He and Andrei shake hands and a weird feeling appears in her stomach. “I watch the Canes games from time to time.” 

“It’s nice to meet you, sir.” He then turns to Aimee and shakes her hand with a small smile. “You too, Aimee. Your sister talks about you all the time.” 

Aimee shoots her sister a look. Christina telepathically tells her to shut up. “Does she really?”

“She does. All good things.”

“It’s good to see you back on the ice again,” Mark says. “How’s the knee?” 

“Knee is good,” Andrei says, before casting a smile in her direction. “All thanks to Chrissy here.” 

“He’s lying,” she deadpans. “I just make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.” 

“Are you staying for dinner?” Aimee asks with a hopeful look.

Christina shakes her head. “I wouldn’t subject him to that. He’s going to Captain Staalsy’s.” 

“Lame,” Aimee says. Christina elbows her. 

“Chrissy mentioned you all were coming to a game?” Andrei asks. 

“Yup. We’ll be going Sunday.” 

“Have you ever been to a Canes game?” Mark shakes his head. Andrei grins. Christina wants to poke his dimple. “Well, hopefully we put on a good show.” 

She snorts. “Alright, Andrei. Better leave before Dad starts grilling you on the powerplay.” Expectedly, Andrei’s eyes light up. He turns to her as she rolls her eyes.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna stay for dinner?” Marianne asks. 

Andrei grins. “I’m sure. Thank you though.” He looks back at Christina. “See you tomorrow?” 

“Bright and early.”

He turns back to her family with a warm smile. “It was nice to meet you all.” 

Christina nods to the door, “I’ll walk you out.” She catches Aimee’s smirk and rolls her eyes. She puts a shoe in the door so that it won’t shut on her as she faces Andrei. “Thank you for the cake. Seriously.”

“Careful,” he teases, and if butterflies flutter in her stomach from his tone that’s no one else’s business. “It could be awful.”

“It won’t be.” She grins and gives him a quick hug before she can overthink it. She pulls away before she wants to. “Happy Thanksgiving. I’ll see you tomorrow. Thank you again.”

“Happy Thanksgiving.”

She watches him disappear from the hallway before she lets out a deep breath.

…..

The crowd at the PNC arena goes nuts with Andrei scores with less than two minutes left in the third against Columbus. Christina herself bounces around on her toes in excitement, her parents and sister somewhere up in the box seats. What a way to get your first of the season. She feels weirdly proud of him. 

She only catches him as she’s heading out a bit earlier than normal to drive back with her family. And by catch him, she only means by eye contact as Andrei’s swept up in media. She stops for a moment and just leans against the doorway of the locker room, watching him answer questions

Christina’s about to push herself off the doorway when Andrei’s eyes meet hers. He’s still talking, but his smile widens, and she just shoots him a thumbs up and a grin of her own before walking to the parking garage. 

…..

Christina groans as she skims the email from the management of her apartment complex. Fixing the water pipes will shut down water for 24 hours. It’s not the end of the world, but how inconvenient. 

She leans back in her chair, mentally going through her mind to see where she could crash for a whole day last minute. The one friend she would go to immediately is away on vacation right now. 

She’s twiddling her fingers as she walks to the locker room, needing to check in with Andrei. But weirdly, he’s nowhere to be found. She’s about to walk out of the room just as Andrei walks in. 

“Oh, perfect,” Christina says. “I was looking for you.”

“Were you?”

She tries not to roll her eyes as he follows her back to her office. “Get your ass on the table.”

He laughs, following her instructions as she works on his shoulder. She must sigh without realizing because his eyebrows furrow. “Everything okay?”

“Hm?”

“Are you okay?”

“Oh, I’m fine,” she waves him off. “The pipes are getting fixed in my apartment building for a day so I gotta figure out where I’m crashing for the night. That’s all.”

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes. “That must be annoying.”

She shrugs. “It is what it is, but the friend I usually would stay with is away right now, so that kinda has me scrambling. I probably will have to get a hotel room for the night or something.”

“How about you stay with me?”

Christina has her back towards him to take some notes, before she spins back around and raises an eyebrow. “Andrei, no. I can’t-”

“I have a guest room. Multiple guest rooms, actually,” he runs a hand through his hair. “It’s no problem. Serious. It would be like I’m not even there.” She opens her mouth to protest but closes it again, weighing her options. Like he senses her hesitation, he barrels on. “You don’t have to drop money on a hotel. And only for a night, right? Just stay with me.”

She bites her lip in thought. It would save her a lot of trouble. And he’s right, it’s just for a night. “Are you sure?” She says. 

“100 percent,” he promises. 

“Okay,” she says gratefully. “Thank you. I owe you big.”

“No worries,” he says. “I text you my address. Come over whenever you’re ready. I text you the garage code too in case I’m not home.”

She’s a bit surprised that he just blindly trusts her so much, but he trusts her to handle his body and recovery, which is arguably the most important thing for a professional athlete, so staying in his home is next to nothing. 

But it’s a big deal to her. She’s reminded of that when she drives home to grab some things. She’s reminded that her phone buzzes with a text from him, the garage code like he promised, along with what her sushi preferences are — anything, it’s her favorite food. She’s reminded of that as she drives over, immediately feeling overwhelmed at how nice this neighborhood is. 

She forgets often that these players are earning more than she ever will. Andrei is a multimillionaire. The cost of his living room alone is probably worth more than a year of Christina’s current monthly rent. 

It doesn’t phase her necessarily. It’s just an observation. 

As she pulls into his driveway, she sees Andrei coming out of his garage. He perks up with a wave, waiting for her to park her car. He approaches her as she comes out of her car with her backpack.

“Just in time. I grabbed dinner.”

She glances at the bag in his hands and she tries not to gulp at the familiar (expensive) restaurant logo “I could’ve grabbed it on the way here.”

He waves her off as they walk through the garage, him swinging her backpack over his shoulder. “You’re a guest in my home. Why would I make you do that?”

Christina’s not used to this. The chivalry. The acts of service. It all feels a bit too much, especially as he gives her a brief house tour and shows her the guest room. It’s all so minimalistic and clean and expensive and she was not prepared to be staying the night in Andrei’s house today. Or ever.

She jumps in the shower really quickly to wash off the day. It takes her a moment to figure out how to control the temperature. She’s afraid to mess anything up. When she walks back out into the main room, Andrei’s just finished setting up the table. When she spots the familiar label of her favorite wine, she blinks. 

He notices her silence and chuckles sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. “I asked Taylor what your favorite wine is.”

“You could’ve asked me,” she says softly. 

He shrugs. “I wanted to surprise you, I guess.”

She hoists herself up on the stool of the island, trying to control the butterflies in her stomach. “Well, thank you. You didn’t have to do that.”

Being with Andrei in his home is expectedly intimate. She feels very comfortable at work to poke fun at the players and staff. But it’s different sitting for meals in the kitchen at the office compared to sitting across a kitchen island eating sushi that Christina only has when her parents foot the bill. Something as simple as Andrei’s sushi plopping into his soy sauce and her bark of laughter feels almost too much, especially when he chuckles with her at his misery. Because it’s just the two of them in his home and it’s almost too much. 

But even if it’s too much, she doesn’t feel uncomfortable at all. In fact, it’s probably weird how comfortable she does feel, as her and Andrei chat about everything from the team to his brother to her college days. When his dimple pops out and his brown eyes brighten with curiosity, she has to remind herself that she works with him. They’re co-workers at best. Friends possibly. 

She gets up to clear their dishes away, but Andrei’s quicker and pushes her shoulder down so she’s sitting again. She gives him a look. “Andrei. Come on. You bought dinner and you’re letting me stay for the night. I can wash dishes.”

He shakes his head, “You don’t need to do anything but sit there all pretty.”

She just blinks and sips her wine because what the fuck. 

They debate putting on a movie or show, but end up just hanging out on the couch and continuing to talk because he’s just so easy to talk to. Christina stops herself after her third glass of wine when she remembers she has work tomorrow, and she thinks he’s so sweet for grabbing her a glass of cold water without her even asking. 

When they’re winding down for the night, he hovers by the door of the guest room, making sure she doesn’t need anything. When she assures him that she’s all good, he leaves her with a “goodnight” and the cutest smile and Christina knows that she’s fucked. 

The next morning, she wakes up to the smell of coffee. When she walks out, yawning and rubbing her eyes, she sees two plates of waffles. 

“Good morning,” she says with an air of surprise. “This looks great.”

He chuckles. “Eat it first before you say anything.”

She hums, making sweater paws with her UNC sweatshirt and smiling when he slides over a mug of coffee. 

“You sleep well?”

“I did, thank you. You have a very comfy mattress.”

His dimple pops out and Christina can feel herself falling. “You’re welcome anytime.”

That statement doesn’t help either. 

After they finish their breakfasts, she yet again isn’t allowed to help with dishes, so she wraps her hands around her coffee and watches him. “Thank you, though, Andrei. Seriously. For letting me stay over. You saved me a lot of trouble.”

“Of course,” he says over his shoulder, catching sight of her packed backpack in the living room. “Are you heading out so soon?”

“Yeah. I have to get into work earlier than you do, remember?” She teases, as she finishes her coffee, hands him the mug and goes to grab her backpack. “I also wanna stop by my place to drop this stuff off and pick some stuff up before heading to the rink.”

He turns off the faucet, wipes his hands and walks over to her. “I was gonna say I’ll miss you, but I see you in probably an hour.”

She laughs, not quite processing what he just insinuated. “Probably.”

“Can I ask you something before you leave?”

“Yeah. What’s up?”

“Would you want to go on a date with me sometime?”

Her jaw drops open a bit. Oh. “Oh.”

He backtracks. “You can say no. I won’t be hurt. Or, well. I just want to ask to see if you give me that chance. I really like you, Chrissy.”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just…Andrei. We work together.”

“I know, I know.”

She lets out a sigh, tipping her head back and squeezing her eyes shut. “Andrei-”

“One date,” he practically begs. “Let me take you on one date to prove that this is real to me.”

She swallows, her resolve starting to crumble down from his pleading eyes. “I could lose my job.”

“You won’t. And I wouldn’t let that happen.”

She can’t help but snort. “Carolina loves you, but not that much.”

He pouts before taking her hands. “Christina,” he says sincerely. “Just one chance. And then if it doesn’t go well, we stay coworkers and friends and this never happened.”

“And if it does go well?” She bites her lip.

The dimple appears on his cheek again. She wants to kiss it.  “Then we figure out where to go from there.”

“There’s just, it’s not- you’re wonderful and kind and sweet, but I’m putting a lot on the line here.” She feels vulnerable, her voice shaking at the edges. “I’ve worked too hard to have this fall apart on me.”

“I know. I understand.” And huh, Christina thinks. He actually probably does understand more than most, because if Andrei is anything, he's a hard worker. He gently places a hand on her waist and she can’t fucking think. “I wouldn’t ask you just to ask you or risk anything.”

“You like me that much, huh?” Christina jokes weakly.  

Andrei squeezes her waist lightly “I do.”

Oh. Okay. 

A few more seconds pass with Andrei staring at her hopefully and Christina blinking rapidly. He’s so gentle with her it makes her wanna scream into a pillow. 

“One date,” she relents. His eyes sparkle and her smile grows with his. “You have one shot, Svech. Use it wisely.”

“Oh believe me, I will.” He says confidently. “When are you free?” 

“My work schedule is the exact same as yours.” 

He lets go of her hands to dig into his pocket for his phone, checking the Canes schedule that’s synched up to his calendar. “When we’re in New York. Two weeks from now.” 

“New Year’s Eve?”

“Yeah. I know we’re already all going out at night but during the day. Just you and me.”

Immediately, her mind goes into planning mode. “Sure, yeah. That works. I have some friends who live in the city I could ask for recommendations for-”

“No,” she tilts her head in confusion at his firm tone. “You don’t worry about anything. I take care of all of it.”

“Andrei.”

“I take care of it, Chrissy.” he repeats, shoving his phone back in his pocket. “All you need to do is show up.”

She opens her mouth and closes it, before, “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay. Will you at least tell me what to wear?”

“Anything. You always look beautiful.”

She rolls her eyes at the fact that he’s already loading on the charm and they’re not even on the date yet. “Nice try. I’m not wearing my work attire to our date.”

“Seems like you already know what you’re wearing, then.”

She huffs before softening. “Thanks for letting me stay the night.”

Andrei clicks his tongue. “Of course. I see you later?”

Christina chuckles. “Yup.” 

They walk to his front door, and he hesitates for a second before leaning down to give her a quick kiss on the cheek. She’s absolutely floored. “Get home safe.”

She gives him one last smile as goodbye. It isn’t until she’s in her car when she leans her forehead on her steering wheel and smiles into it does it fully sink in. 

She has a date in two weeks.

…..

No one likes a loss, and even if Christina is kinda immune to it by now, it’s not fun. But the holidays are near and her heart feels light as she packs up her things. Her flight takes off early in the morning, so she’s hoping to catch a few hours of sleep before then. A knock on the doorframe has her looking up to see Andrei dressed back in his game day suit with a light smile on his face. 

“Hey,” she greets. “Everything alright? You need treatment?”

“Everything’s fine. I’m okay.” He says, shuffling in and looking a bit sheepish.

Christina hesitates. She’s not sure how Andrei is after a loss, if he likes to talk about it or forget about it. “You wanna talk about it?”

“Not really.” 

“Okay.” She looks down at his outstretched hand holding a box she didn’t see at first. “What’s that?”

He clears his throat. “It’s, uh, your Christmas present. You fly back home in the morning, yes?”

“Yeah,” she shakes her head. “Andrei, I-I don’t need…I didn’t get you anything.”

“That’s okay.” The annoying thing is that she knows he means that. She tentatively takes the box out of his hand and opens it. Inside is a pair of silver dewdrop earrings. 

“Andrei.”

“Uh, I asked Taylor and they told me you wore silver and gave their approval. But if you don’t like them, I can return them and exchange them for-”

“Andrei,” he halts as she looks at him. “They’re beautiful. Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome.”

“You really didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I wanted to.”

She chuckles shakily, closing the box. “We haven’t even been on our date yet.”

“So?” he shrugs, like it’s not a big deal. But it is a big deal. “You’re important to me. I get everyone important to me Christmas presents.”

Christina wants to melt at the soft look in Andrei’s eyes. She’s a bit at a loss for words, so she just gives him a tight hug. She lets herself fall into him as his arms wrap around her securely, resting her chin on his shoulder and letting her eyes fall shut at how safe she feels. 

She reluctantly pulls away and puts some space between them. They are still at work after all. “Thank you. Seriously. You’re so sweet.”

“I’m glad you like them,” he says with a light in his eyes. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything.”

He shakes his head. “No need.” She gives him a look as he chuckles. “I promise. A date with you is enough presents to last me a lifetime.” Jesus Christ. Where does he pull this shit out of? He just grins. “You heading out? I walk you to your car.”

She swallows and nods, packing up the last of her things, carefully placing the box on top. She makes sure she’s not looking at him when she says her next statement. “You’re way too nice to me.” Silence for a bit besides her rustling her things. Once she’s ready to go, she looks back at him, who’s staring at her thoughtfully. It throws her off guard. “What?”

“I’m not too nice to you,” Andrei says, eyebrows furrowed adorably and sincerely. “I’m just..how I am.”

“It’s not a bad thing,” Christina quickly assures him as she flicks off the lights. “I just, uh, am not used to it? None of my exes have ever even treated me this nicely.”

“That’s a shame,” he says. “You deserve someone being kind to you. No such thing as too nice.”

She just swallows as they head down the hallway and to the parking lot. Because what can she say to that? Andrei has always been sweet and polite since the day they met, but she didn’t expect him to be so sincerely earnest. 

She slides into the passenger seat of her car and he leans down, resting his hand against the hood. “You’ll be good to go home?”

“Yeah.”

“Merry Christmas, Christina,” he says with a grin.

“Merry Christmas, Andrei.”

…..

Andrei gets a hat trick against Montreal and looks right at her as his teammates converge upon him. She has no idea how he even finds her so quickly considering she’s not standing where she usually would be, but he finds her anyway. 

She grins at him and he gives an imperceptible nod paired with his signature charming smile.

Three more days.

…..

Half an hour before Andrei’s supposed to be at her hotel room door, Christina is already ready. 

She hadn’t managed to squeeze many details out of him, because he insisted that he would take care of it. It’s not like she doubts him, perse. But she’d at least like to know how to dress so she doesn’t feel out of place. She told him that, and he caved, saying “not a sweatshirt, but a nice sweater or dress will be fine, but not overly fancy,” which, actually, doesn’t say much. But she could work with that. 

And she did. When packing for this mini-road trip, she put thought into what she would wear today. She’s settled for a black-neck long sleeve with her favorite dark green pants, paired with black ankle-high boots and her favorite brown peacoat. 

As she sits on her bed and waits, she starts becoming more fidgety. She’s nervous, yes, but not because she doesn’t know him. She has a feeling that he’s going to be the perfect gentleman and the date will go well. 

She’s nervous that it’ll go too well and she’ll get ahead of herself. 

Before she knows it, she hears a knock on her door. With a deep breath, she grabs her bag and walks over to open the door. 

She swings it open and swallows. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Andrei says softly. She takes a moment to look at his outfit — a navy blue button up with a gray jacket draped over his arm. With black dress pants and sneakers, she’s thankful that it seems like their outfits match on the formal scale. He clears his throat. “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you,” she says softly. “You look great too.”

“Shall we?”

Christina reaches into her purse to make sure she has her room key, phone and wallet before nodding. “Where are we headed?” She asks as they walk down the hall. 

“We’ll have to head on the train a few stops to Lincoln Center.” Lincoln Center? She furrows her eyebrows. He clears his throat as they step into the elevator, him leaning against the wall. “Today’s the last day they show The Nutcracker. With your dancing history, I figure, I don’t know, maybe it would be fun?”

Suddenly, a frog appears in her throat. It’s probably the most thoughtful first date she could go on. She looks into his earnest eyes, as if he thinks she’ll hate it or not wanna go. 

“It’s perfect,” she manages to get out. He’s perfect. “I-I haven’t seen a ballet in ages.”

“I know,” he responds. “You told me, remember?”

Oh. She did. And he remembered. She bites her lip to keep herself from blurting out that this might be the best date she’s ever been on and they just stepped out of the elevator. 

She can tell he’s a bit nervous, quieter than usual. They’re not quite holding hands, but their fingers keep brushing and she feels the ghost of his hand on her lower back as they head down to the subway and onto the train. 

“When’s the last time you were in New York City?” He asks. 

The train lurches and Christina takes a second to find her footing. “It’s been at least two years. I used to come up here for, funny enough, dance intensives and camps when I was in middle and high school.”

“Are you planning on getting back to classes now that it’s been a few months?”

Again, she’s impressed with the things Andrei actually remembers. She shrugs. “I definitely think I’m still too busy during the season. But maybe in the off-season.”

More people pile onto the train, causing the two to move closer towards each other. She can smell his cologne. She looks up in shock at the feeling of a feather-like kiss on her forehead. 

“Thank you.”

“For?”

“Saying yes. This will be the best date of your life, I promise.”

She just leans her head onto his elbow as the train runs on its tracks. 

As they walk into Lincoln Center, all Christina can do is gape as they find their seats, Andrei leading the way — in the first row of the second wing. It’s a perfect view of the stage with all the formations, lighting and sound. Andrei plays with her hand the whole time and it feels so good to see a dance performance again. During intermission, she gushes over the choreography and costumes as Andrei just smiles, listening intently to her observations. When she suddenly stops and apologizes for rambling, he tells her to keep going. (“I love how much you love dance.”)

Afterwards, they head to a nearby dessert place and share a bowl of shaved ice and ice cream. She’s having such a good time talking with him that it isn’t until the sky becomes dark does she realize they both have to head back to the hotel before anyone questions them and they can get ready for the team and staff New Year’s Eve party tonight.

She swipes her keycard, closing the door as he steps into her room. “Thank you for this. I had a really good time.”

“Yeah?”

She nods, biting her lip with a small smile. “I did.”

“A good time enough that you want to do it again?”

“I think so.”

“Yeah?” His eyes are practically sparkling and Christina’s elated that it’s because of her. “I didn't blow my shot?”

She chuckles, “You did.” She doesn't want to tell him that if she’s being honest with herself, he had her from the very start. 

“Great,” he grins. “Great. I’m glad you had a really good time. I was really nervous.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Oh,” she says, walking closer to him and instinctively wrapping her hands loosely around his neck. “You didn’t have to be.”

“You-you always make me a bit nervous, even if I don’t show it,” he admits. 

Christina’s stomach tingles. “Can we go on another date when we’re back in Raleigh? Maybe after I take my exam?”

“Yes,” he rushes out. “Of course. Yes.”

She catches his eyes flickering to her lips for a split second and decides to just bite the bullet. She presses a delicate kiss on his lips, and backs away to see a light pink dusting his cheeks. “I’m gonna go get ready for tonight.”

He chases her lips, causing her to giggle. “Bye,” he mumbles against her lips. “I see you in a bit.”

As soon as her door shuts, she lets out a little squeal into her hands. Happy New Year’s Eve to her, indeed.

…..

Christina’s certification exam happens to fall on a rare week where the Canes have no games, which she’s grateful for because she doesn’t want to miss out on any. There are some practices, but she’s excused from those to study. 

The day after her exam, she feels a large weight lift off her shoulders. She won’t get the results for a few weeks, but she feels confident that she did well and she can pat herself on the back for a bit. 

She comes into practice in high spirits, having gotten a coffee and pastry from her favorite cafe on the way as a treat. She takes congratulatory messages from all the staff and some players with a smile. When Andrei skates up at the start of practice to her on the bench, he just smiles at her, shooting her a quick wink before skating off. She hopes she’s not blushing. 

He’s left her alone in the meanwhile while she’s been studying, but she’s hoping to catch him before he leaves the rink today to see when they can go out again.

Unfortunately, the team is in the video room as Christina heads to her office to pack up for the day. She guesses she’ll have to talk to Andrei tomorrow. She could just text or call him, but that doesn’t feel good enough. 

When arriving at her car, she stops short and squints. There’s a bouquet of flowers wrapped in brown paper tucked inbetween the door handle, red roses and sunflowers to be exact. 

“Oh good, you haven’t left yet,” she whips around to see Andrei jogging towards her. 

She turns back around to her car, staring at the flowers as he stops beside her. “What’s this?”

“A little gift. To congratulate you on finishing your exam.”

She swallows, suddenly emotional. “They’re beautiful.”

“Beautiful flowers for a-”

She whacks him lightly. “Don’t finish that sentence, you sap.”

He laughs. It’s becoming one of her favorite sounds. “But I mean it.”

“I know,” she finally turns to look at her and grins. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

She tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. “Are you around this week to grab dinner or something?”

He runs a hand through his hair. “You know my schedule more than anyone.” She rolls her eyes as he chuckles. “Of course I am. We’ll find time.”

She hums. “Okay.”

“What should I tell the guys for now?” A sudden flurry of anxiety flashes through her veins. Andrei must see her face change, because he continues quickly. “I don’t have to say anything. We can keep it quiet.”

“Would you mind if we did? Just because it’s so…”

“I don’t mind,” his dimple pops out. “Promise. Let’s just go on another date first. Sound good?”

She bites her lip with a nod. “Yeah.”

“Yeah,” he repeats. His hands itch to reach towards her before he remembers that they’re just outside of the rink and that anybody could walk out at any minute. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“See you tomorrow. Thank you for the flowers, seriously.”

“I hope you’re proud of yourself,” he says, backing away. “You’re so smart and you worked really hard.”

She looks down at her shoes, warmth spreading through her body. “Thanks. Have a good night.”

“You too.”

(When Christina goes home and arranges the flowers in a vase, she sends Andrei a picture. He responds immediately with the heart-eyed emoji, and she feels the excitement of something new starting.)

…..

Christina’s a smart girl. When she gets a text from Doug a few weeks (and more than a handful of dates with Andrei) later to come to one of the conference rooms, she has a feeling it’s about her and Andrei. Though who would’ve said something? 

Her stomach drops on the walk over, her palms sweating as she fiddles with her staff badge. When she walks in, she sees Doug, Mary, head of the HR department, Coach Brind’Amour and Andrei himself all around a rectangular table.

Mary offers a warm smile. “Hi Christina.” 

Christina tries to smile back while shutting the door behind her. “Hi Mary and everyone.” 

“Please take a seat,” Mary says. The only empty one is next to Andrei. Christina gingerly sits down. “I guess we’ll just cut to the chase. It’s come to our attention that you and Andrei here are in a romantic relationship.” 

She blinks. Well, yeah. But-“From who?” 

“From me.” Andrei says. She whips her head to look at him and he grimaces. “I’m sorry. I know we planned to go together next week, but I slipped up in front of Coach this morning and…yeah.” 

“Of course you did,” Christina mutters. She hears Doug trying to cover a snort. “Um, yes, uh, we are. Seeing each other. Together. Whatever you wanna call it. We were going to come to your office next week. We weren’t gonna hide it or anything, I promise.”

“I understand,” Mary says. “First of all, your job is not in jeopardy. You’re not going to get fired because of this. Especially because it’s obvious you two weren’t trying to hide anything. ” Christina knows that, but she would be lying if she said that she wasn’t a little bit relieved. “Workplace relationships occur all the time. However, as I’m sure you both understand, your particular situation is a bit different. I have to ask when you two started this relationship.” 

Christina lets Andrei take the lead, partially curious about what he’ll say. He doesn’t hesitate. “New Year’s Eve.” 

She smiles internally. It’s nice to know he considers their first official date as serious as she does. 

“You do understand that in the workplace, there are boundaries.” 

Andrei and Christina both nod. Christina continues, twisting her fingers. “Of course. I’ll obviously continue with my responsibilities as I have been since I joined the organization and continue to do the best I can do with every player and staff member. Our relationship won’t affect that at all, I promise.”

“And I also understand the boundaries,” Andrei adds. “This will also not affect my performance on the ice and off. I continue being professional with all staff.”

“You both understand that no matter what happens that your professional relationship comes first?”

“Yes.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“And you both understand that when you come into work, you’re at work and focused on work?” They both nod. Mary looks around the room. “I mean, that’s really all I got. It seems like you two understand. I’ll draw out the paperwork and get it back to you two in a few days. Doug?”

Doug clears his throat. “First of all, I called this and Steve owes me $50.” Andrei lets out a surprised laugh but Christina isn’t even fazed. “Only thing I got is that I should probably take you off as the main person of contact for Svech for his general recovery regime we started in the beginning.”

She kinda saw that coming. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Andrei about to protest but she kicks him underneath the table. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

“No worries. I’ll just take over. There’s not much to that anymore anyways, right?” She nods. He grins. “Great. As long as you keep doing the good work you’re doing, no issues here. Coach? Anything to add?”

Christina swallows looking at Coach Brind’Amour, but she breathes easier when he smiles a bit. “Nothing really from me. Svechy, you know what I expect from you. That doesn’t change. And Christina, you’ve done your job wonderfully thus far and as long as that doesn’t change, which I’m sure it won’t, no issues here. Do your teammates know, Svech?”

Andrei smirks. “Some of them have probably picked up on it. Nothing for sure though.”

Coach grins wryly. “You can be the one to tell them then, should you want to.”

“You’re gonna get chirped like hell,” Christina snickers, making everyone in the room laugh. 

Andrei looks over at her with a small pout. “And you won’t?”

“A little. But you’re the one playing with them. I’m just an lowly assistant trainer.”

Doug cackles. “Chrissy, I think you underestimate how much the boys like you. Get ready for comments everyday.”

“But not too mean,” Andrei says. 

Christina snorts. “Down, boy.” She turns back to Mary, Coach and Doug with a smile, feeling more comfortable now. “Is there anything else?”

Mary shrugs. “Besides the paperwork I’ll get you two to sign later, nope. You two are free to go. Thanks for coming in."

They all file out of the conference room while Christina and Andrei linger. Once everyone is out of earshot, she playfully shoves him. “Really?” She deadpans. 

“I’m sorry!”

She chuckles. “It’s fine. At least it’s out of the way. Would appreciate a warning next time though.”

He nods solemnly. “I know. I’m really sorry. It won’t happen again.”

She swallows, before leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek and going their separate ways. 

(Andrei lingers to watch her turn the corner of the hallway, a big smile on his face. Rod watches him)

…..

three years later 

The times that Christina is on the bench has gotten higher and higher the longer she’s been here. Hell, she’s one of few women to this day that has been on an NHL bench as a trainer, which is ridiculous since it’s 2027 and she’s just doing her job. Doug’s son is getting married this weekend so Christina knew she’d be taking over head duties for this game against the Rangers long before. 

It’s thrilling every time though, being on the bench. Everything’s so much louder and things seem to move so much faster, even though she’s been doing this for three years. Since puck drop, she’s been in the zone and thankfully so far, not needed. 

Until Andrei gets checked. Hard. Which rarely happens since he’s the one usually doing the checking. 

Fights break out on the ice, whistles are blown and Christina doesn’t need the ref’s signal — or anyone’s — to know that she needs to scurry out there fast. She’s praying that it looks worse than it is. 

She bends down next to Andrei, who’s crouched over in pain and places a gentle hand on his back. “Hey, baby. It’s me. Can you tell me what hurts?” He’s breathing heavily and doesn’t respond for a few seconds. “You have to tell me what hurts so I can help you.” He mumbles something in Russian and while Christina is 90% sure of what he’s saying, she can’t take any risks right now. “English, baby, please.”

“Chest.”

Okay. Lungs. Maybe ribs. He’s talking and breathing fine, even if heavily. “Okay,” she nods, going through her mental checklist rapidly. “Can you skate off by yourself?” He nods and she just rubs his back, giving him a few seconds. He eventually gets up on his own, which is a good sign, and she tries not to eat shit as they both get off the ice and go straight down the tunnel. 

Once he’s sat down on a training table, she puts her hands on his cheeks. “Drei. I need to hear the words from you.” 

Even in his injured state, Andrei knows. “I’m okay, solnyshka. Just hurting a bit.” 

“Okay. Let’s get your gear off and see what’s going on, yeah?” She helps him get off his gear until he’s completely shirtless. “Lie back for me.” She does her routine, pressing in specific spots and seeing how he reacts. She winces every time he hisses, even though it’s helping her determine what’s wrong. She goes through her questions, quickly determining if he’s done for the day or may be able to head back out. It's the end of the second period anyways, so they have more time to assess. 

“You got your shit rocked.” She says bluntly. She smiles lightly when she gets the reaction she wants, which is a snort out of him. 

“Yeah, which is fucking annoying.”

She swallows. “But you’re okay?”

“Yeah. Think it was more of just an impact hit.”

“Good, good.”

“What are you thinking, Doc?” Andrei jokes. “Am I good to go for the third period?”

“That really depends on you,” she says. “Like you said, it seems like it was more just an impact hit. Beside soreness and tenderness, nothing’s out of place or broken or sprained. But it’s all about how you feel.”

“Then why do you sound unsure?”

“Because I’m trying to talk to you like your trainer, not your fiance.”

Andrei softens and she has to look away. “Talk to me like you’re my fiance, solnyshka.”

“It was just a scary few seconds there, when you didn’t get up. That’s all.”

She swallows as he puts down the ice pack and puts his hands on her cheeks to make her look at him. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

She waves his apology away. “It’s okay. Getting hit is part of the gig. I know that by now.”

He rubs his thumbs on her cheek. “Still. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s just hard sometimes. Seeing you go down. Keep icing,” she instructs, backing away. Christina’s not afraid of being caught with PDA nowadays. Everyone in the organization knows they’re together after three years. But she still prefers keeping up a level of professionalism at work. 

“I think I’m gonna go back out, but I do limited minutes.”

She furrows her eyebrows. That doesn’t sound like him. “Limited minutes?” He just shrugs. “Andrei.” She deadpans.

“It depends on me, right? How I feel?” He says, throwing her words back at her as he starts putting his gear back on. 

“Yes. But you’re Andrei Svechnikov. You don’t know what the word limited means because you have no sense of self preservation.”

“Limited minutes,” he says firmly. “I don’t want you to worry about me.”

“The ring on my finger kinda indicates that I’ll always worry about you,” she responds dryly. 

He laughs, standing up. “Only for tonight, to be safe.” They hear the boys about to head out for the period and start walking out of the room. “Thank you for taking care of me.” 

“Just doing my job.”

He pulls her in to place a quick kiss on her lips. “And you do it well.”

“Good luck out there. Love you.”

“Love you more.” He runs back onto the ice with his teammates as she follows slower behind.

“He all good?” Coach Brind’Amour asks when she’s back on the bench.

“Yeah. Up to him if he wants to take every shift, but he’s cleared to go.”

Coach nods, “It never gets easier, does it?”

“Hm?”

“The look you had on your face when Svechy went down. It’s the same look I have when my son goes down. Still. And he’s been playing his whole life.”

She shrugs, trying to be casual. “It’s part of the job I signed up for.”

“Sure. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy.”

They both watch as the teams skate to center ice to take the faceoff. No, she thinks. It most definitely does not. 

It’s close to midnight when she and Andrei are walking out of the arena together. She yawns as she leans into him and he puts an arm around her shoulder. Luckily they have the day off tomorrow. Maybe she’ll force Andrei to try a new recipe for dinner together that she found online.

It’s not until she’s in bed, listening the shower run as Andrei quickly rinses, does she see her notifications. Fifteen texts from six people.

She clicks Layla’s first. It’s a link to a short Twitter video. She clicks on it. 

It’s a short clip of the broadcast right after Andrei’s injury, a replay she winces at, cameras showing her running out and all the chaos before they head into the tunnel. But it’s what the commentators are saying that Layla — and all her other friends who sent her messages — are freaking out about. 

“Svechnikov seems to be alright, able to get up on his own and slowly skate to the bench, which is always a good sign.”

“Christina, the Hurricanes’ assistant athletic trainer is out there with him, with Doug, the head trainer out for a few games for family obligations. Fun fact, she’s one of the few female athletic trainers in the NHL. Fantastic at her job and an incredible person as well.”

“Another fun fact to those who may not know, Christina and Svechnikov are engaged, getting married sometime next year. And that’s a beautiful Canes love story if I’ve ever heard one.”

“I can imagine it isn’t easy to have to see your fiance go down like that, even if it is a part of her job. They’re both heading down the tunnel now, so we’ll see if he comes back out for the third period. Hopefully he’s okay.”

She locks her phone. It’s been known to the general public that Andrei is engaged. He had posted on Instagram when he proposed. But it had been a silhouette shot and he hadn’t tagged her out of respect for their privacy. Christina’s Instagram is private too, so very few people they don’t personally know had put it together. 

Until now, that is.

“You saw it too?” Andrei says, coming out of the bathroom.

“Yeah. A bunch of people sent it to me.”

“And?”

“They didn’t say anything that wasn’t true. What do you think?”

He slides under the covers and kisses her forehead tenderly, “I love being known as your fiance. I’d ask you everyday to marry me if I could.”

“Sap.” She feels him laugh as she leans her head on his chest, drawing circles on his bare skin. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“I’m always gonna be okay. I have you.”

She kisses his lips before yawning, and he reaches over to shut off the lamp. 

(When Christina goes into work the next morning, Taylor’s waiting for her in her office. With no greeting, they set their laptop down and press play on a video. It’s a compilation of her and Andrei’s little pre-game ritual they had started a few months after they started dating. 

It’s Andrei, usually in his game day suit, and her in the hallway of whatever arena they’re in. He grabs both her hands and kisses her three times. Twice on the lips. Once on her forehead. She always adjusts his collar even if it doesn’t need to be adjusted, and then they’re both off to their separate ways. 

Christina had no idea Taylor had been filming this. For years, apparently, if the description in the bottom right of the video indicates anything. 2024, 2025, 2026 and this year, 2027. 

“I was gonna originally ask you if I could post it the day of your wedding,” Taylor says as the video ends. “But I also would never post it anywhere without you or Svech’s permission. I’m perfectly prepared to just keep this in the archives and never let it see the light of day.”

“You’ve been filming that all these years?”

Taylor smiles softly. “I have. The clip from last night is everywhere, with the broadcast talking about you two while you’re helping him on the ice. Twitter’s going crazy.  And I was thinking, and no pressure at all, but I was thinking that we could post this today. Everyone always loves behind the scenes content, like Marty screaming Svech’s name. I have a feeling everyone’s gonna love this little ritual too.”

The video has been replaying automatically and Christina can’t help but smile. “Okay.”

“For real?”

“Yeah. If you think it’s a good move, I trust you. You’re the social expert.”

“Well, perfect,” they grin. “I’ll catch Svech when he comes in to ask for his permission too.”

Christina snorts. “He’s not gonna say no, I can promise that.” 

He doesn’t. Taylor posts the video three hours later. The internet goes nuts. Andrei surprises her with dinner when she gets home after him, two plates of delicious-looking pasta on the table with a candle lit and a vase of fresh flowers. But the most beautiful sight is his dimpled smile. 

She kisses him. Hard. It feels like the first time again.)

~*~*~

tag list: @ru-kru, @bunbunbl0gs (lmk if you wanna be added!!)

[cosmicdream222]

hypnotherapy - I know what it is but at the same time I don't. Would a hypnotherapist be able to loke guide us to the void?

It’s a good question but might take a little explaining. So hypnotherapy is kind of an unregulated field. When someone wants to become a doctor, massage therapist, teacher or similar profession, they have to take a set curriculum of classes and become licensed by a federally accredited board, and remain up to date with their licensing and certifications.

When someone wants to become a life coach or hypnotherapist, there is no real standard, no board, no licensing requirements. You don’t even need any kind of professional training or licensing to be a life coach or hypnotherapist (which is kinda scary tbh)

I took a one-year coaching certification course in 2019 so I am “certified” in life & success coaching, EFT, hypnotherapy, NLP, and TIME Techniques - meaning I now have the knowledge to practice these techniques on myself and my friends/family/clients/whatever. But I only learned some basic hypnosis techniques and have a couple of scripts so I could record my own or guide others through it.

I did enjoy my class and I did learn a lot. But it’s kind of a meaningless piece of paper because the entire industry is unregulated, anyone can make their own coaching course and their own methods/techniques and tell people they’re certified in whatever they want. It’s pretty much just a free-for-all.

So all that to say, just because someone is a hypnotherapist doesn’t actually mean they know what they’re doing. They would have to continue their education beyond the basics to learn more advanced techniques and have much more experience.

I was not taught any techniques that would be helpful for entering the void or guiding someone else to it. Since most people in general don’t know about the void state, finding a hypnotherapist who knows about it would most likely be hard to find.

I do really like hypnosis tho and it works well for me, so a couple weeks ago I was looking on YT for a guided hypnosis for the void and I did find one, like only one. “Extra deep hypnosis - into the void”. Although I’m not sure if she knows exactly the power of the void, it’s meant to get you into a deep thoughtless state of relaxation.

I tried it once and she is a very good & skilled hypnotherapist. It is a safe & effective video and I plan on trying it again to enter. But as a warning, her channel has a lot of bizarre NSFW hypnosis videos too, so don’t go looking around her other videos unless you are 18+ and want to be shocked 😂😂

[chaotic-on-main]

HEYY can I get uhhh a vanilla bean sugar cone with candy pls? 🎀

(And they’re both shy and blushy heheh)

Order up!! One vanilla bean sugar cone with candy for Tay!!

Sky's Summer Fall and 250 Follower Event!

☾ Pairing ➼ Armin Arlert x gn!Reader

☾ Content/Warning ➼ fluff, modernau, mutual pining

☾ A/N ➼ hi hi bby!! :3 thank you for sending a request in. i actually had one completely different planned but for the time, i had to move it and decided to go in a different direction. worry not though, i do plan to write that other one eventually!! because it's so cute. ANYWHO. have a cute armin hehe reader isn't too blushy but she is on the inside! i hope you like it!! happy birthday to the babiest of all babies, armin <3

☾ Wordcount ➼ ~2.2k

Armin Arlert spent his whole life busting his ass for a successful future. At a young age, he lost his parents from a plane accident and since then it's been just him and his grandfather. Due to his grandfather's old age, he did what he could to step up as soon as he was old enough – working odd jobs despite his long hours in school during the day. 

With great persistence, he worked hard enough to get into a decent college off the coast to pursue an education in marine biology but of what focus, he wasn't sure. Regardless, to say Armin was tired would be an understatement.

With his program came multiple opportunities to gain experience in his field. At first, he dabbled in small research groups, taking samples of the local corals and sea water – but it wasn't nearly as satisfying to him as when he got to volunteer once a week in the aquarium just a few miles south of campus. 

It took a few semesters to gain the necessary certifications and log enough dives to qualify. But eventually, he was able to start working as a diver, helping observe animal behavior and cleaning what was needed.

Armin has loved the sea for as long as he could remember, something his grandfather had instilled in him as a distraction from his deceased parents. It wasn't until his late teens that he was able to actually visit one, let alone live by one. Nothing could have prepared him for how much he would love it.

Even more so when he was underwater, whether it be in a tank or the wide ocean. There was nothing quite like the warbled silence that comes with diving deep in the fish tanks in full gear, nothing but various sea life and bubbles floating around him. But even with all of the beauty that surrounds him, nothing compared to the person that walks by the tank every shift with a gaggle of young kids and their chaperoning adults following behind.

You, the tour guide who worked every Saturday and a student who sat two rows ahead of him in the organic chemistry class you both shared.

In class, you were studious as ever. Attentive to every word the professor said. Typing away with nimble fingers at every comment and question proposed. Every day you would walk in like you were floating on air, a bright smile on your lips that matched the same shine in your beautiful eyes. There have been a couple times that you shot him one of those smiles and he swears he could have dropped dead then. He doesn't know when he developed this crush on you, but it was all consuming.

So he watches as he always does, you coming down the ramp with that smile and your arms flying around animatedly as you talked about the next tank – the one he was in. Like clockwork, you raise your hand and look over to him then wave prompting the little ones to wave as well. Armin waves back, as he always does, but his bright blue eyes don't leave your face.

Just as quick as you came, you ask your group a question before starting off in the next tank's direction. On your way past, you look up to where Armin still floats and offer him another small wave, this time your gaze lingering on him. If his face wasn't covered up, you would have seen the warmest pink flush his face.

The conversations between the two of you remained professional for the most part, whether it be about the aquarium or the coursework load. Armin would love to extend that conversation with you, but he was always too nervous around you. He was lucky to get more than thirty words out before choking or having to pull away for air. There was something about you that was just so intoxicating and Armin had no idea how to navigate that, never mind the fact that he hadn't had time to even think about dating ever with his busy schedule.

But one day, you made it easier for him.

Sometime during the late fall months, you found Armin in the break room propped up in the back corner with a book in one hand and sandwich in the other, half eaten. His blue eyes are practically glued to the page with his mind in another world, so much so that he doesn't even hear you come in. You take a moment to inspect his face. His eyebrows are furrowed in concern as his gaze flits across the words.

“That must be one hell of a book.” You joke as you walk over to your work locker. You miss the way Armin jumps at your sudden voice, but settle down quickly because he realizes it's you.

“I didn't hear you come in. It really is! Have you read it?” His soft voice responds back.

You look over your shoulder to see Armin holding up his book with a small smile. At first glance, you notice the big Stephen King across the top of the cover. Under that is a picture you know all too well with the title, ‘The Institute’. The biggest smile pulls at your cheeks as you see Armin holding your favorite book at the moment.

“I love that book! I've read it at least a few times!” You exclaim as you grab your belongings and sit on the chair next to him. Armin's heart leaps into his throat at your sudden proximity. Your faint honey-vanilla perfume dances in his senses as you lean over to get a better look at where he was at in the story.

“Oh you’re just at my favorite part, too!” Armin has to pull back so that you don't bump heads with him. He's never been so close to you before, but now that he is, he takes in the beauty of your face and complex coloration in your eyes. You raise an eyebrow at him, and he just now realizes that you've asked him something.

“W-what was that?” He squeaks out, feeling his face warm even more.

“I was asking how you liked the escape scene. It's so thrilling right??” You lean back finally but Armin still feels like he can't breathe from being near you.

“I- yeah. It's stressful for sure.” He smiles back at you, cautious but sweet.

“I'm sorry for getting so in your face, I'm just so excited to see someone I know reading that. It's easily my most recommended read.” You dig in your bag as you continue on, searching for the cool metal of your car keys that must be buried deep.

“What was your favorite part, if you don't mind me asking?” Armin carefully closes the book, making sure to place his bookmark in the right spot before doing so. Your excitement and happiness radiates off you like the sun.

“Oh my gosh, I love questions! It's gotta be when Nick and Kalisha kiss! I shipped them for so long so when they finally did that, it was like it all paid off. Not to mention that it was placed during a high tension moment!! I love those kinds of kisses. And you never would have thought they would end up like that, you know? Like, it's one of those romances where they end up falling for each other due to their circumstances and what not. It's just so cute!” You rattle on, staring straight into Armin's crystal blue eyes with a large grin on your face.

Armin’s interactions with you were always brief that he never really knew you, so to see this side of you was surprising to say the least. Not like it was a bad thing though, he already had a crush on you but now he was enamored. He could listen to you talking about your favorite things all day, he thinks.

“You think it's weird that such a little moment would be my favorite, don't you?” You tease, not a hint of distress in your tone.

“No! Not at all! Different, perhaps. But interesting for sure!” Armin waves his hands in front of his chest in a defensive manner, the book's pages fluttering from the back and forth motion.

“Good, because I was about to tease you about how goofy you look in your diving gear.” You laugh, the sound of it reverberating off the break room's walls. It tickles his brain in a pleasant way.

“What's wrong with my gear?” Armin glances at the clock briefly and notices he only has a few minutes left before he needs to get ready to leave for his night job. He found it easier for himself if he brought everything he needed for the day instead of going back and forth from his apartment.

“Nothing, silly. I'm just kidding. You look rather dashing in it, if I may be so blunt.” You mutter as you force your face into your bag. You still haven't been able to find your keys. Because of that, you miss the shell-shocked expression gracing his soft face. It's gone though as soon as you pop your head out. “Ah-ha!” You pull out a keychain with various charms sparkling off the bright fluorescents.

“Seems like it's time for us to head out, huh?” You check the time on your phone with a soft sigh before glancing over at him. Seems to Armin that he's not the only one who noticed you both left at the same time most days.

“Hey Armin, what are you doing tomorrow?” You ask innocently as you stand up, slinging your bag over your shoulder then turning to face the blushy blonde.

“Um, well it's my day off so I'll be catching up on some school work.” Armin stands up too, and much to your shock, you notice how much taller he is to you. Whenever you talked to him or worked with him, he was always in the tank or sitting at his desk. He wasn't towering per se, but you absolutely had to look up to keep his gaze.

“There's this bookshop that I've been dying to visit and I heard it has some published research journals I think would be great for our end of the year project.”

“Oh, uh. That's awesome, you'll gave to tell me what you think of it in class on Monday.”

“Well, why don't you come see it for yourself. Shopping is always fun with people you know, right? Do you have about an hour or so to spare?” You adjust the strap of your bag, mainly out of the sheer anxiety that floods your veins. You kept up a solid front, but inside you were churning.

“Yeah!-“ His voice jumps an octave before clearing his throat in a way to compose himself. “I can make time for that, sure.”

“Awesome! I think I still have your number from that homework assignment a few months ago so I'll message you when I'm ready tomorrow, yeah?” Another wide grin pulls from your cheeks, your stomach somersaulting at his cute expression. You were nervous around him but he was just so adorable, it made everything easier.

His heart quickens in pace as he fumbles with putting his own things away into his bag and zipping it tight. There's a pause as he watches you give him one more smile before turning on your heel for the door. He reaches a hand out as if to stop you but he hesitates. Is this what he thinks you're asking? If you were anyone else, he wouldn't have been so bold but there's something about you that makes him want to be a little more brave. So he calls your name to get your attention.

“Wait! Is this… is this a date?” His voice cracks ever so slightly.

“If you'd like that, yeah.” Your upper half turns in his direction as you throw him a cheeky smile.

“I would love that, actually.” Armin shuffles his feet, looking down at them only for a second before meeting your eyes once again. You're met with a shy smile and the softest shade of pink lighting up his face.

“Great. Then I'll see you tomorrow for our date.” And with that you're out the door, the lingering scent of your perfume the only proof of the interaction he just had with you. His hand closes in front of him, as if to grab hold of this moment.

On his way to his car, an inkling of a voice telling Armin he didn't have time for something like this creeps up on him. He had homework to catch up on, and not to mention the school week started up again so soon. For once though, he finds himself being able to overpower that voice so much so it turns into a whisper. He was allowed something like this. And if part of his day off included you, well. Working harder to make up some things would be worth it. 

[verdemoun]

VERDEMOUN!!! GIVE ME MORE MACSUMMERS ANGST, AND MY LIFE IS YOURS!!!

(Love your headcanons and your AU ❤❤❤)

come off anon coward so i can claim your soul jk always here to provide macsummers have some general dot points instead of a fleshed out scene so hopefully you find something that tickles the flavor of angst you crave

due to being in a situationship in 1899 with all those ideas of masculinity, when they argued it would usually escalate to fistfights and brawls. it was something they both had to unlearn in modern era esp after learning like oh this would be considered domestic violence?? this is super unhealthy of us to do?? with very little support because the few dv services they tried talking to were very gendered and did not know how to cater to lgbtqia intersectionality and the fact neither one considered themselves a 'victim' and were pretty equally guilty of being the one to escalate

despite knowing sean is secretly pretty self conscious about his general intelligence lenny did snap once while particularly stressed about an essay in a 'well unless you understand the use of pharmacology in mitigating the effects of zero g-force on human physiology no i don't see how you can help me sean'. very much felt bad about how quiet sean went, esp when sean still did try to help by filling up his water bottle and bringing him snacks

y'all love daddy issues but let's unpack some mommy issues? lenny deciding one day to use his understanding of archives to find out what happened to his mom. finding out she lost the family house and did unpaid textiles work in an almshouse with her title being spinster on her death certificate? being called a horrible parent and jeered at for being the mother of the outlaw lenny summers who deserved what he got? lenny is the poster child of revenge. he in teenage stupidity chose to leave his illiterate mother in favor of killing his father's murders and live as an outlaw in the 1890s version of running away with the circus. he was distraught and absolutely broke down. sean absolutely held him and let him sob and wail as much as he needed to

sean never saying it but being really bitterly jealous and agreeing with lenny's hindsight he was an idiot. he has no memories or stories of his mammy because darragh never discussed her but he is certain he would've stayed with any parent he had left rather than experience reform school. even sean knew it was a fool's game trying to go after the people who murdered his da and not what he would've wanted. struggles to understand how someone as smart as lenny could make such a stupid decision

sean trying to quit drinking cold turkey and lenny only thinking he was prepared to see someone go through alcohol withdrawal. sean sweating, pasty, having thrown up what little water he managed to drink and experiencing tremors and lenny begging him to let him take him to hospital. sean ending up having to be the one comforting lenny and lenny feeling guilty for need it , for asking him to stop drinking and not actually knowing what to do because internet did not prepare him for how distressing it would be seeing sean like that. it did not end up being a successful attempt to quit.

[11queensupreme11]

Lol that wasn't me but I will let you know when I post on AO3 and credit you. I have a bad habit of jumping around a lot in my writing so it might be a while. Here is a bit from much later that might have to be cut. It features 8 year old Percy and children's fantastic ability to remember complex terms and apply them in the funniest ways possible:

"Percy stared at the man before her. He looked young, with a face she believed would make any of the old ladies from the apartments coo if they saw him. However, pinchable cheeks were probably not a judged criteria when taking the exams to become a doctor. The lady at the department of health office had said that "Medicaid does not cover elective work" and Percy was not even sure they had insurance now that they lived outside the US. Medical debt was a serious issue and would probably spawn paperwork more difficult for Mom to handle than any monster or weird relative. Smiling politely, she said “So are you a pediatrician? What program did you graduate from? Where was your residency and how many years have you been practicing for?”

The man's face was now frozen and Percy decided to press onward continuing “What insurance providers do you accept? I was on Medicaid previously but that won’t apply anymore with the move so you will have to get the new information from my mother. Along with my medical history which would be needed to provide appropriate care.” Pausing and tilting her head racking her brain for more terms she had heard at the real pediatrician’s office, she continued “You did talk to him right? 'Any medical care that is not immediately lifesaving given to minors requires consent from a parent or guardian recognized by the state.' Given my father is not on my birth certificate and has not signed and acknowledgment of paternity his word will not count. If you treat me without mother’s permission billing will be the least of your worries, the medical boards and courts don’t mess around when it comes to unnecessary medical work done on children without parental consent” she finished watching the man’s eyes widen a little more in shock.

However instead of the stuttered backtrack she was expecting, instead Mr. Beelzebub burst into a low and somewhat menacing laugh. With a smile, he said, “To answer your questions, I am not a pediatrician of any kind, I am a researcher specializing in the… hm… how to put it, most unusual of cases, and probably the only god in the three realms capable of treating someone like you.”

“So, you don’t actually know anything,” Percy said folding her arms and feeling rather put out. “And you have no previous experience working with children.” Honestly, she was really starting to wonder what went on in the heads of her father’s family. With a sigh she continued “Uncle Hades, this man is not a real doctor, he sounds like a scammer.”

Normally she tried not to be that blunt (after all mom always said stuff like “discretion was the better part of valor” and all the like) but this was really starting to test her patience. “It is common sense that any strange man offering you free medical treatment in his basement is definitely up to no go. Haven’t you heard of stranger danger? ‘Only trust adults whose credibility can be verified by another safe and trusted adult like your parents’.” She recited while turning to her uncle hoping to see a light of understanding appear in the man’s eyes. Honestly, why did she have to be the adult in this situation? Had these people never seen public television?

Instead, both men broke out into uproarious laughter and Percy considered what the consequences of pelting them both with ice would be. Perhaps if she froze their brains, it would fix whatever mental deficiency they were currently experiencing. Maybe some kind of brain worm?"

OH IT WASNT YOU???? oops 😭😭😭 ok thank you for clarifying then!

ALSO EIGHT YEAR OLD PERCY IS SO PRECIOUS???? and is loki a better mom than og!sally or did he just send percy to a good school cuz she sounds a lot smarter than her 12-16 year old canon self 😭😭😭😭

BUT BEEEEEEELLLLL IS HERE 😍😍😍

im ngl, after i realized beel was in the scenario, i blanked out and just focused on him LMAO. i'm sorry i just love him so much 😭😭😭

i can't wait till you post, ur writing is sooooo 😩👍

[demonbanisher]

So as an Indigenous person in Canada you have certain rights you're entitled to and no one anywhere knows what the fuck they are, so me being three weeks into fighting my ex-employer over taxes and losing my mind decided to deal with my emotions by projecting them onto fictional characters lol - this might be solely self-serving but I'm fine with that

Remus sighed and let his head thunk against his laptop. Sirius smiled around his coffee cup. "You finally die of boredom?"

"No. I'm being slowly killed by stupidity," Remus mumbled against the keyboard. He really need to clean it. The dust was much more visible from this close up.

"Whose stupidity?" Sirius asked and Remus missed the note of warning in his husbands voice. It was Sirius's 'I'll fuck over everyone who tries to harm those I love' tone.

"It's the HR rep from my last job again. I need her to change my tax forms. My times working doing travelling and doing care for the packs was supposed to be tax-free. First she wanted my werewolf registration card, which is stupid. No one needs my birth certificate to prove I have a pulse. It would be fraud for me to have lied about my status. But whatever, I'd send it if that's what it took to get this over with.

"So I offered to scan and send a copy of my registration card if it meant they'd redo them for me and she followed up providing me a T90 form where I can figure out my tax exempt income myself. Except, I can't because form T90 requested you input the value found in box 71 of your T4 so I looked that up and of course box 71 is the dollar amount of your income that is tax-exempt for 'werewolves working in a designation pack zone as required by their employer' but I don't have that number because that's the bloody fucking box I've been trying to get them to fill out this whole time.

"And like I did all of this months before I quit. I mean I should have expected it cause I quit because of racism and discrimination but I gave them a TD-W1 already. I did everything I'm supposed to do but they don't expect to ever hire a werewolf so why would they bother to teach their HR reps the forms to complete upon hiring one?"

Remus sighed. "I'm sorry Pads. I know you deal with me ranting and raving about prejudice enough as it is. It's just getting to me. I don't know how much more I can talk."

Remus was met with a long steely silence followed by a crack of apparition and he sat up to find that his husband had disappeared. Less than five minutes later there was another crack and Sirius somehow reappeared with the CEO of his former place of employment who was looking rather sheepish.

"Mr. Lupin," he said, extending his hand, "I've been made aware there have been some issues with your tax forms?"

"Issues of discrimination," Sirius said his voice dripping with contempt.

"As I've said to your husband, Harold's has a strict zero tolerance policy when it comes to discrimination in the workplace."

"And as I've told you Mr. Jameson, if that policy was properly enforced Remus wouldn't have experience mistreatment to the level that he had no choice to quit for his own wellbeing."

Mr. Jameson swallowed heavily, but ultimately decided to ignore Sirius. "Well, I wanted to let you know we were able to revise your T4 properly and I wanted to apologize and deliver it in person."

"Thank you," Remus said, voice trembling as he took the envelope from his hand.

"Of course. If there's anything else...?"

Remus couldn't help but feel smug as the CEO of this multi-billion dollar company turned to look at his husband for confirmation that he was allowed to leave, which Sirius provided in the form of a terse nod.

"You didn't have to do that," Remus said, hands shaking as he opened the form to see that finally, finally box 71 was filled out.

"It's not right. You shouldn't have to jump through eighty different hoops to get them to do something that's enshrined in law."

Remus looked down at his feet embarrassed. He knew Sirius was well aware that Remus often paid full price for pain potions and other required medication because most apothecaries 'didn't take that rewards program' when he asked them for the discount entitled to him as a registered werewolf. He just got so exhaustion of having to argue and fight with everyone all the time and then being seen as a nuisance for having to get the manager brought out. It always felt like everyone in the store was staring at him and that he was being difficult for asking them to meet his basic rights.

Sirius slowly stepped into Remus's space. "I did it again, didn't I?" Sirius knew he often had a habit of setting of the world on fire for those he loved and asking questions later, including whether or not the people he loved wanted him to light the world on fire for him.

"I - I don't know. I mean they should know they can't treat people like that but I can't help feeling like I'm being difficult. "

"Darling," Sirius said, gently placing his hands on Remus's arms, "you aren't being difficult for asking them to recognize the rights afforded to you as a werwolf. It took years of hard work and advocacy to see those enshrined in law. They can't just be ignored."

Remus felt his eyes start to water. "Sometimes I think you'd make a better werewolf than I would."

"Hey," Sirius said, tipping his head up to look in his eyes. "Don't say that. You do so much for your community."

"Then why did I quit? Yeah, they treated me terribly and I had to deal with discrimination daily, but it meant something to the packs I worked with to actually have someone who understood them representing them. How can what I done not be seen as turning my back on them?"

"Sweetheart, the best thing you can do for your community is to stay alive. You can't help anyone if you can't get out of bed anymore or if you're being traumatized on a daily basis."

Remus let himself fall into Sirius's arms. "I just want to exist," he said as the tears finally fell. "Is that too much to ask?"

And Sirius didn't know what to say to that because he knew that more often than not the way the world treated Remus showed him that yes, it was too much to ask, but Sirius knew he'd do whatever he could to show Remus that wasn't true.

[melonefelone]

Okay one more post w/ a shitty doodle bc i wanna talk about how i write their dynamic 💔 They did the dynamic dirty by making Ed try and kill her right away. It needs redemption.

- Enigma calls Riddler Pop, Pops, and used Pop Pop when she was little. He would prefer to be called dad, but she just doesn’t like it.

- Edward is a pushover 🗣️‼️ he constantly worries about ending up like his own father so he is just completely unable to discipline or say no Elise at all. So she is sort of a spoilt brat.

- Since she was homeschooled through her early grade school years, Edward is extremely hands on with her education (more-so than he already would be) and is an absolute asshole over grades she gets in school now that she goes to a private school.

- Elise is held to high standards, and Ed can be a bit of an ass about that too. It is probably the biggest area of tension between the two. Edward would never yell at her, not without breaking down and apologizing later, but he makes snide comments when she doesn’t meet his high expectations.

- Elise does gymnastics, along with a few academic clubs at her school. She wishes Edward would be able to go to her things more, but when he is in Arkham his hands are kind of tied.

- Riddler avoids any and all questions she has about her mother, simply saying it isn’t any of her business (she was a fling when he was a carny) and more or less acts like he somehow is the ONLY parent when asked.

- Elise really likes to ruffle his feathers, using slang, saying words wrong on purpose, etc. just because she thinks it is funny how worked up Edward gets over it. Even if it often leads to long lectures about how he is going to homeschool her again because obviously the school is degrading her intellectual abilities.

- Elise simply does not understand riddles. Never has. Never will. She is better at puzzles and word games, but she is bad at riddles in general. Edward LOATHES this. Will spend hours trying to explain them to her, but she just isn’t able to understand them.

- Elise bullies kids on Roblox. Edward joins her sometimes because he finds her “little scams” entertaining. Gives her pointers on how to make it a full fledged pyramid scheme. However it is just Roblox, so she isn’t going to do it.

- At the moment Riddler doesn’t let her come on heists (no matter how much she begs) but will let her “go out” with Echo and Query for girl time (small robberies) so she can get some experience under her belt (she is the heir to his criminal empire after all)

- Edward cries like a baby at every single one of her accomplishments. Absolutely overpraises because he wished he got that as a kid, etc. again. Elise is lowkey a spoilt brat.

- “why does ______ call you babygirl?” “Listen to the radio, child”

- Elise most often lives with Echo and Query when Ed is in Arkham. They insist on being paid obviously, but Edward trusts them not to accidentally kill his child.

- For the record, I write Enigma as lesbian. She came out to Edward at some point and he probably doted over her telling her he is so happy she told him for days and days as if he a. didn’t already know and b. Isn’t a walking fruit basket himself.

- Elise helps him with schemes and plots by coloring on the outside of his blueprints. He presents them to the gang this way. Flowers and unicorns and all.

- She gets control of the Riddler twitter account once every other Wednesday. Edward wants her to address his public, so they get aquatinted with her.

- Elise’s birth certificate says Elise Nashton. Edward has not told her this, since she was little when he took on the name Edward Nygma (formerly Eddie Nashton) and simply raised her with Nygma as a surname. He doesn’t plan on telling her of the change. Forging new legal documents so she doesn’t find out. He isn’t exactly fond of talking about his life before becoming The Riddler. So she is left in the dark.

- Elise likes to bring wild animals inside because she wants a pet. Edward shrieks and jumps on the nearest piece of furniture until it is out.

- granted when she is older (19-20) he does try to kill her after an argument where he just kind of snapped. It took a while for him to talk to Elise again after that. Likewise, Elise kept some space between them for a while herself. Going on her own crime-wise to make her own statement.

[strawberryblondebutch]

Do you have any Sam headcanons?

I do!

I believe very strongly in my heart that Sam can build any piece of IKEA furniture in 45 minutes or less. More than that, she enters a hypnotic trance where no one can talk to her or get her attention. In her mind, she opens the instructions and emerges later with a fully-built Bjorkstrand. As for why she's so good at it? Well, no one really helped her when she became independent, so she had to figure it out one way or another.

Speaking of "becoming independent," when she left home she ended up bouncing around several large houses with too many roommates (kind of like my terrible frat house experience, but probably marginally better because these weren't sheltered prep school kids who have never worked a washing machine). Since nobody bothered to clean the place and she was working 60+ hours a week, she was constantly sick -- bronchitis, sinus infections, stomach flus. She learned how to muddle through it.

As far as her drug use went, she mostly did ketamine, molly, and speed. Xanax and Vicodin were harder to get her hands on -- most of her friends would go see a doctor and lie about their anxiety or their pain until they got a dose, which would then be split around. Narcotics were her favorite when she could get them, but most of the time that was hard to do outside of drinking cough syrup. She tried acid exactly once, had a horrible trip, locked herself in her room, and decided never to do it again.

On the topic of drugs and hallucinations, when Sam started getting help, the doctors wanted to kick her off of weed first because it was making her psychosis worse. She had assumed at the time that seeing and hearing things that weren't there was just a symptom of her addiction, which, you know, kinda sorta. It certainly didn't help.

Actually started smoking cigarettes late compared to her peers! Part of it was that, in weaning her off of cannabis, nicotine provided most of the same sensory cravings. The other part of it was that she noticed her coworkers who smoked got to go sit outside every couple hours and avoid customers, so that seemed like a pretty good deal.

Sam has pretty much run the gamut of jobs that one can get without a degree or a certificate. She frequently bartends or barbacks because it's one of the easiest jobs to pick up odd shifts when she needs a little extra cash. Tara and her doctor were concerned when they heard this given, you know, the family history of alcoholism, but it turns out that in Sam's case, being surrounded by loud, messy drunks who need to be 86'd is a great reminder of why she shouldn't go back to that life. Self-recognition through the other.

[pseudowho]

mrs haitch i need advice😕im in university and i called this business two weeks before i got here that i was interested in working there and they said to come by once i moved in and i did. i filled out an application and they said they would call me. they never did so i called them and they said a couple applications got shredded and that mine mightve been one of them. but then the manager said to come by and bring my social security number with me which basically implies i got the job. so i went today and told her ‘hey you basically told me i have the job so im here to work’ and she told me that they already hired people to work the only times im available to work and i just dont know what to do. i have terriblr luck with jobs (i didnt have a job the whole summer except for the last couple weeks) amd i know if i keep applying i might get one but no guarantee. i dont know if i just dont have enough experience (which i dont get how im supposed to get any if no one hires me) or what but i desperately need a job and im just stuck. obviously if this is too much you dont have to bother with it. i totally understand but you are a very wise woman and i thought to ask you for advice/your opinion on this.

I understand, it's okay. The job market is thoroughly shit here in the UK, and I believe it's the same in a lot of western countries at the moment.

With the 'not enough experience' schtick, which I fucking hate by the way, I feel like you might have more luck either swinging just below what you're looking for, or just above.

For the 'just above', consider playing the long game: think outside of the box with which jobs you might be able to get, if you have just a little extra something. Could you look into babysitting-- perhaps there's a fairly easy to get certification in basic childcare? Could you look into tutoring-- lots of parents are looking for University students to tutor their kids in basic subjects, because they could often get away with paying you a little less than a 'formal' tutor. If it's cash in hand, as well, this benefits you.

For the 'just below', aim for the kind of jobs that 16-18 year old kids go for, pre-University, if you're not doing this already. They're used to people with no experience. Any hospitals near you looking for cleaners or porters? Any hotels near you looking for cleaners or porters?? Try not to exclude a job just because of an initial 'ew' feeling. Branch out a bit.

The next bit of advice is quantity quantity quantity-- if you see any job which even remotely looks like you could do it, apply. Something's got to stick eventually.

The next one is fairly old-fashioned but I'll be honest, I've seen it work; take a walk around the local town. Scope out the businesses with an armful of your CVs and your best brave smiling face. You are genuinely more memorable as an actual living, breathing, smiling person than you are as some faceless document sent their way. In an age of companies being shedloads of CVs and job applications in such a competitive market, perhaps staying local and personal will help you stand out and work in your favour.

Phew...I think that's all I have really.

Remember, consider asking @mrhaitch who has actually helped students your age to do exactly this kind of thing.

Focus on getting into a job, and doing well at it. Then you'll have experience and income, and it's proven to be easier to find another job when you already have a job.

All my love, and good luck,

-- Haitch xxx

[kitkatt0430]

Hartley Rathaway for the character ask?

1: sexuality headcanon

Gay, as per his canon sexuality. But very non-gate-keeper-y. If his boyfriend turns out to not always a boy (as I sometimes like to play with Cisco and Barry's genders and they are also my two favorites to ship Hartley with...) he's still super gay for that person.

2: otp

Cisco/Hartley - 100% Hartmon otp

3: brotp

Lisa Snart, though I do really enjoy Caitlin & Hartley and Iris & Hartley friendships too.

4: notp

honestly I can only really think of Joe? Joe is just too much of a dad character, I can't ship him with anyone the same age as his kids (or age range, whatever)

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

Jerrie's first word was Hartley's name. She didn't start talking until late, so she actually was able to do a pretty decent approximation for her first try. Still didn't quite have the H sound yet, but her big brother was her favorite even then so of course she wanted to say his name, get his attention.

Hartley was the most delighted big brother ever and would not shut up about it at school all week.

6: favorite line from this character

I realize you don't have to explain your hiring decisions to me, but maybe for the sake of a fun exercise, we could pretend you did.

So while yes, this is Hartley being a dick about Cisco, there's actually a lot to unpack about this dialog.

Hartley's talking like this *to his boss* which tells us how comfortable Hartley is with Eowells. He plays chess with him, has Latin as a sort of secret language between them, and he demands to be treated as an equal even while acknowledging they technically aren't. (It is with good reason that I so often have Eowells/Hartley as backstory...)

But also, Hartley is not pleased with Cisco's hiring. And while Hartley clearly disapproves of Cisco's clothing choices, it kind of comes off as a focus point for everything else going on when it gets brought up. Cisco is a fresh-out-of-college hire and his clothes make that *extremely* obvious. But Hartley is specifically calling into question here - in private, which is actually the one (only) way Hartley does actually manage to behave professionally in regards to Cisco in the flashbacks - if Cisco is qualified for the job which... makes me suspect that Cisco probably wasn't, based solely on job experience.

I suspect Eowells was just so eager to hire Cisco that he hired him for a job that was intended for a more senior engineer. Or at least a junior one with a couple years of experience under their belt. Not a college grad who may or may not even have some of the certifications needed for the position. TBH, Hartley takes his anger out on Eowells in the 'present' portion of The Sound and the Fury on Barry so it really makes sense to me that Hartley's bad behavior in the past towards Cisco was also Hartley misdirecting his frustration with Eowells onto a more convenient target. Part jealousy because Eowells is looking favorably (and fanboying a bit, let's be real) over Cisco (future superhero Vibe and Eowells gets to mentor him? how could he help but fanboy?) and that's how Hartley's relationship with Eowells began too... but also Eowells hired someone who pretty clearly does not fit the job description.

Obviously canon never supports this little pet theory of mine and it's entirely born of a more forgiving interpretation of this line of dialog from the episode but... I do really like the interpretation because it makes Hartley a bit more sympathetic without excusing his bad behavior towards Cisco. And it establishes parallels between his past and present behavior.

7: one way in which I relate to this character

Honestly Hartley and I don't have a whole lot in common. I latched on to him because he's such an interesting and canonically gay character and the more I learned about his comics incarnation the more I liked the character.

I definitely relate to his queerness though. I may not be a gay dude - aroace and only sometimes a girl (though always a girl when its funny, gotta commit to the bit) - and it's kinda hard to explain how I feel I relate to his queerness but... I really do.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

Every time he's a classist dick towards Cisco in S1. Way to misunderstand the character, show writers. *wincing painfully* Did they even read any of the stuff with Hartley in it? Guy who stands up, even to the Flash, on behalf of the homeless people of Central City...

Not that I don't still lean into that trait sometimes when writing fanfic so I can then have him grow out of it, but still. Makes me cringe a little inside every time.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

Cinnamon roll - sure he's got a checkered past, but his heart's always in the right place. He just wants to help people, make the world a better place, and abolish the police. Even if his comics self is dating/engaged to a CSI.

[fayevalcntine]

I'll be honest I was never that surprised over Armand's actions in 2.08 because he let the whole trial happen in the books for Louis and Claudia and only conveniently saved Louis once it was all done. Armand in the books was if anything way more evil than in the show, because among a list of other things, he tortured and then threw Lestat off a tower the second he was needless to him (and set up the trial as revenge for Lestat ruining his past cult life), experimented on Claudia once she died prior to her body being turned, and even if you don't consider that canon, he pretty much wrote her death certificate by having her be directly killed in sunlight.

As for the events, my issue has more to do with the overall rushed scenes that were put in all of the last 20 minutes, because these things truly needed time to be FLESHED OUT. I'm not surprised that Louis essentially went back to see Lestat again after all of this because compared to Armand's supposed role prior to the truth being revealed, Lestat didn't directly sell Claudia and Louis out. He was called to stand on trial for them and used the chance to save only one of them, but couldn't save both. It's a pretty different situation from Armand apparently selling them out, then regretting it and taking one final chance to save Louis. Lestat from what I can assume, had little to no sway on the coven. He asked to be punished alongside Claudia, they rejected it. But this is where the rushed timeline is the problem because the episode makes no note of these specifics. There's also a TON of other unanswered questions at bay, namely what exactly was Lestat's DEAL in Paris? Where the fuck did he stay? How did this trial even become organized beyond him being called up? And why did the coven let him leave after he performed the audience trick? Does Louis understand or think that Lestat couldn't have saved both him and Claudia? (And I don't say this to absolve Lestat because that's not the point, but it is pretty glaring that even when the 'banishment' trick was used, Louis wasn't saved. It took Armand getting the coffin out with Louis in it and reviving him with his blood in order for that to happen. It was day outside, so Lestat was limited in getting either of them out of there. Then it's the question of how or if the coven would've let them escape.)

This stuff is why I feel like if they didn't have one more episode to flesh things out, they could've just left it on a cliffhanger where the truth is the final straw for Louis (on top of the other stuff we saw build up throughout season 2 with Armand, and particularly the erased memories that Louis may or may not have asked for, which is another topic altogether), he leaves, and the episode ends on him going back to New Orleans (or some other place) to get used to life alone and possibly getting his head together, and considers finding Lestat again.

[canonical-transformation]

Okay, now I have a need. Please entreat a humble mutual with some autistic Shinobu headcanons. Just a morsel to get me through.

Autistic Kuki Shinobu

barely even headcanons

Rules and systems

Character story 3 is about her getting really annoyed about superstitions and pointless rules. Classic "I can't believe these so called experts betrayed me" arc.

She's not against rules and systems, though. She did a law degree and not even to get a job in law.

“Huh? Why are [the Arataki Gang] willing to follow my rules? Because both my words and my fists are very persuasive.”

The "autists socialise different" trope

Highly qualified woman gravitates towards found family full of misfits, because she absolutely sees herself as an outsider

“I've learned how to read people based on their expressions and body language. Besides, nine times out of ten, it's the gang getting in trouble. I don't mind putting on a face to get us out of a sticky predicament, but I still prefer not to smile.”

She can do social niceties but hmph.

She hates smiling and it's pointless and why does everyone ask her to? Here have a mask you assholes.

Also her view on accreditations is adorable.

“Come find me if you ever suddenly want to become certified in anything. I'll lend you all my notes for the exam. Believe me, my notes are detailed enough to help anybody pass.”

...i.e. she has a system and it works and maybe it's a hyperfocus but shh

“...I'm still not certain about a Vision's assessment criteria.”

*pats gently on head* I'm sorry but I'm not sure even Celestia is clear on this

(I mean. I have my own theories, specifically, "you made such a stereotypically Raiden Ei mental move that someone was like 'yeah, Archon material". But that's not a set of rules and my own hc annoys me as much as it would annoy Kuki.)

“How can there be lines of work where you can find employment without the right qualifications? It boggles the mind.”

I'm torn between (1) "Shinobu, please understand that there are other forms of signalling which work just as well, like, say, prior work experience", and (2) "allists hire on Vibe and they invented unconscious bias(*) and I hate them"

(* autists also experience unconscious bias. Autists are not a magically enlightened superior subrace, no matter how tempting that is to believe when I'm annoyed.)

I suspect that, unfortunately, Kuki shares Ei's gullibility on certain fronts and the word "certification" is a weak point for her critical thinking. She'd get a life coach certificate, pseudoscience or not. Or, uh, a Kissing With Tongue certificate.

Other headcanons

Sara and Yanfei are some of her best friends because they are the sanest, most normal people

She learned all the ninjitsu backflip stuff when she was younger and thought that being named Shinobu meant she had to know that stuff

Miyuki is pretty neurotypical and they're both trying really hard to stay in touch but they're on really different wavelengths

(side note: I loved the Shinobu+Miyuki reconciliation in the ends justify the beans)

Shinobu wasn't there for the Itto character quest because she'd just gotten her Vision back and was renewing her nidan in kusari-fundou.

...and she has no idea why people joke about the electro chain whip. It's light, flexible, and deadly in skilled hands. What's so funny?

(yes even after Sara asked her to hit her with it "to better understand what weapons I may encounter on the battlefield", and then moaned)

[meatcrimes]

“ship in 5 mins” meme for Aura and Waldeamar

notes:

they technically are married! waldeamar proposed and they got married in what was then the roman empire. although neither are entirely sure a marriage certificate from so long ago, issued by a state that no longer exists, would still be legally valid

gossip AND pretentious discussion! get you an immortal vampire partner who can do both

i marked Waldeamar as being the one to die protecting Aura but lbr neither of them are exactly easy to kill. so its more like risks injury/social status/the masquerade to protect the other from injury/social loss/violating the masquerade. neither of them really need protecting too often in modern nights, with Aura’s exile from the camarilla being an outlier

there was definitely mutual attraction at first sight and they both fell in love very quickly but Waldeamar had it planned and Aura just sorta tripped and fell in love by accident.

as for starting arguments, they’ve known each other long enough to know when they won’t change the others mind about something and when they are open to different ideas. so arguments end about as fast as they start. debates however… they’re so good at the Don’t Get Me Started road trip game

as for the slashes, they both do housework but different kinds. Aura does the kind that polite company would approve of, whereas Waldeamar does the decontamination and removing all traces that they were ever there. A cozy clean home vs a sterile OSHA compliant laboratory. And when it comes to who does more speaking, it depends on what’s going on and who they’re speaking to. Aura is the more charismatic one (waldeamar’s putting that 1 charisma 2 appearance to work) so she’s usually the one to speak to other kindred, especially younger ones. however, if it’s a topic Waldeamar has knowledge and experience in, Aura lets them take the reign. Lastly, Waldeamar would have more relationship experience just by virtue of being so much older than Aura. Romantic/sexual relationships weren’t a focus of their life in their younger years or their life pre-embrace, but they did have the occasional lover over the 3,000 year period before they met

[theyellowroseofsodor]

🎁 I come bearing gift ideas 🎁

- Thomas strikes me as one of those people who has a wishlist of games he’s been meaning to play but hasn’t gotten around to actually buying for himself, and he just keeps adding to it so some of those games have been on that list for years and he’s pretty much forgotten about them being on it at all. So somebody giving him anything on that list would be a pleasant surprise (source: I am one of those people, my friends have done this multiple times)

- Edward seems like the type who’d appreciate something homemade or handcrafted, no matter what it is or how it looks. He’d treasure it because it was made with love and it’s from someone he cares about.

- Henry might appreciate some new gardening tools, like a new trowel or a set of good gardening gloves. Another idea for him is a bulb for an amaryllis, a large lily-like flower that grows well indoors during winter. They’re gorgeous when they bloom, and I’m sure he’d love to help it grow!

- Gordon… is tricky. He seems like the sort to say he doesn’t want/need anything, but you know he’d feel hurt if he didn’t get something meaningful. Personally, I have a headcanon that he really likes butterscotch candy, but that’s not something he goes around telling people. After all, he’s an engine, engines don’t need food, it isn’t proper… but he can’t help popping one in his mouth when he needs a pick-me-up and thinks no one he knows is around to notice. And if a certain someone did notice, well…

- James would probably like things he can use to spoil himself. A specific shade of nail polish from his favorite brand, a warm blanket he can wrap himself in, a pair of nice slippers to wear around the house, things like that.

- Percy is someone I headcanon as being really into Lego. Like, he’s got completed builds set up all over his room and is always on the lookout for a new challenging set to build in his spare time. Can’t go wrong with a cool Lego set for Percy.

- Emily is another tricky one, because she seems like the kind of person who just goes out and gets most of the things she wants herself, just in general. So a good gift for her might be an experience rather than an object; a gift certificate to a new local restaurant, tickets to a concert, vouchers for a spa day, something like that. She’d probably love it even more if it were something she could do with the person who gave her the gift in the first place.

🎁 I put way too much thought into this okay bye 🎁

Oh my gosh, I LOVE these! I don’t know, anon, if you’ve read my fic but I totally made Thomas a video game nerd (also like me) and the idea of getting him a game off his wishlist is BRILLIANT! Like he has a Switch and I’m sure his wishlist is humongous!

Edward is definitely a homemade gift guy, I’m taking that and running with it.

I know nothing about flowers, I could kill a cactus I’m such a bad green thumb. The bulb sounds like something his special someone would know.

OK OK you totally read my mind about Gordon and sweets so I’m gonna run with that one too 😂 but I also think he’d totally tear up with a homemade gift right? Cause he’s all prideful and a bit vain but like actual affection crumbles all the walls. Like he has a lot of good self-esteem but when others genuinely compliment him or make something for him he gets super emotional, but tries to hide it. Oh my gosh, thank you for this brain storming session!

James with like a Minky Couture blanket is now engraved in my mind. That luxury blanket in like a moulin rouge red, oh my Lady I’m living for it.

Percy is totally a LEGO guy! How have I not seen it?? Now I have to find a series to go with it. Like he has to have an entire collection whether it’s Lego City, Star Wars, Harry Potter, LotR, YES!!

Emily having a gift card and a ticket to experience something is also an amazing idea anon, I may need you for future advice because you are brilliant! It is my personal headcanon that Emily loves books. She’s basically Belle from Beauty and the Beast. So, maybe tickets to the theatre? I feel like that would like brighten her world.

Thanks for brainstorming with me anon, this has been amazing! I’m going to start working on it right away but I always welcome more! ♥️💙💜💛💚

[hillnerd]

Why do you think J K Rowling is transphobic? What did she actually done to be called like that? Do you call her this on the basis of your evidence or just because other people also does it?

This is a much more thorough breakdown of it than I am willing to go into here: https://www.glamour.com/story/a-complete-breakdown-of-the-jk-rowling-transgender-comments-controversy https://one-colorado.org/new/how-the-nyt-and-jk-rowling-influence-anti-trans-policies/

Conflating gender and sex is inaccurate and transphobic. (source)

Claiming that trans women put cis women at risk of harm is inaccurate and transphobic. Trans women, specifically trans women of color experience gender-based violence at much higher rates than cis women. (source)

Assuming that all people have body parts that fall into a biological binary is inaccurate and transphobic. (source)

Her essay had some of the biggest issues: "[Jkr does] not want to make natal girls and women less safe. When you throw open the doors of bathrooms and changing rooms to any man who believes or feels he’s a woman – and, as I’ve said, gender confirmation certificates may now be granted without any need for surgery or hormones – then you open the door to any and all men who wish to come inside. That is the simple truth."

That whole 'men in women's bathroom' fear is a huge problem. She stated herself as not FULLY terfy- she was sort of ok with 'certain trans people' (quotes from me)- but she is a radical feminist who prefers to make sure natal women are safe first and is part of the fearmongering against trans people that keeps so many from being able to safely use a bathroom or changing room without horrid scrutiny coming their way.

Since then, though, she has done money-raising for many actively anti trans individuals.

So while she's not the most virulent anti-trans person around by a long-shot, and some of her stances are understandable (the concern that many gender non-conforming young women think trans is the only option for them without much other things being explored (non binary, butch lesbian etc) because sometimes that is a bit true for some) .

BUT the way she has gone about it, supports openly anti-trans people, and keeps doubling down has fed the anti-trans fire. She did this right when trans people are in massive danger thanks to the influx of bills and anti-trans legislation, anti-trans talk and anti-trans attacks.

So, she isn't like a total republican who wants the destruction of trans people- as far as terfy dialogues go she's rather mild and more in the microaggression side of things most of the time. She's living in that sort of boomer/gen x version of willfully ignorant about trans issues, but choses to speak on it with authority and spreads misinformation-- and refuses to listen to anyone. She reminds me of my gran who thinks she isn't racist- then will go into very racist sterotypes.

No one is perfect, but she has nothing but time and money at her disposal to listen to the experts on it, and has chosen to double-down on her most ignorant of talking points and spread them- when she has more resources and a more wide reaching platform than most- and it's actively hurting trans people.

Hopefully she'll change her stance, support some trans charities, and stop spreading misinformation about the 'dangers of men pretending to be trans' and her other more harmful perspectives, and stops supporting women who are promoting anti-trans agendas left and right.

Until then, I can't give her money, knowing that money could go to sources and causes I can't support.