#she got along with people in the small town & got to get a lot of info from them bc she was. nice??/

[toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account]

i need more cozy mysteries where the amateur sleuth isn't married to a fucking cop and doesn't fucking have one as a love interest. and also doesn't have random fatphobia for no reason

[eli-com]

need me some more judd pretty pls

୧ *·˚ — JUDD BIRCH

୨୧ includes — fem!reader, afab!reader, mature content, p in v, oral (f! receiving), jealousy, fingering, ooc!judd, terrible writing, MDNI

a continuation of my other 2 Judd posts with innocent!shy!reader. not in the same order as the og scene in the show just for the purpose of the fic.

please have some grace. I stayed awake all night writing this whilst trying to fix my sleep schedule for my lecture monday x

— Judd loves his younger siblings, as hard as that may be to believe. He’s always been protective over Leah and Nick; only he got to make fun of them. However, a lot of the time, they do things that really piss him off. Whether it be Nick hitting on you, or Leah throwing a slumber party with her overly loud and clingy friends, as she was doing now, his brother and sister really knew how to annoy him.

Currently, he was laid on his bed, a pillow shoved over his face as he did his best to drown out the excessive giggling coming from Leah’s room. If there was one thing that really got to him, it was overly loud people. Why couldn’t they just speak at a normal volume? They wouldn’t speak at all if it were up to Judd, but he’d accept anything lower than the volume they were at right now. He despised his sister’s peppy attitude and overly-optimistic way of thinking, which, unluckily for him considering the situation, she shared with a lot of her friends.

You were supposed to be coming over tonight, so at least that gave him one thing to look forward to. The two of you had been ‘seeing each other’ for a three or four months by now, and in all honesty, Judd was loving it. He couldn’t get enough of you, and he wasn’t afraid to show it. He was all over you, every second he could be. Whether it was at his house, at school, when you were getting lunch at your favourite cafe, he didn’t care. If he wanted you, he was gonna have you. In all honesty, Judd considered you his girlfriend by now, even though he’d never actually used the word.

He’d never been in a real relationship before, only ever having a few girls he’d sleep with when he needed the relief. But it was different with you, he wanted to be around you, enjoyed your company. He’d never experienced that with anybody before. He was used to the comfortable routine of sleeping with someone and completely blanking them the next day. He could never do that to you, he wouldn't even dream of it. Maybe it was laughable, the fact he was known throughout school for his rebellious attitude, yet he'd wound up falling for one of the best behaved girls in town. He didn't care enough to think about it that much, though. All he knew was that he liked you, and he was going to do whatever it took to keep you around.

It wasn't long before he heard a familiar ring tone from his phone, a small grin gracing his lips as he grabbed it and saw your name on the screen, along with a photo he'd taken of you asleep in his bed. He'd been tempted to change it, especially when Leah and Nick had first seen it and relentlessly teased him for 'being a sap', but the sight of that sleepy smile on your face stopped him every time. He'd answer the call without second thought, already knowing you were outside.

"How many times do I need to tell you to just use the doorbell like a normal person?" He'd growl down the phone, doing his best to act annoyed, though you knew he was anything but. In fact, he was actually extremely excited at the prospect of getting to spend time with you.

"I don't wanna disturb your family." You'd argue back, sweet, gentle voice coming through somewhat robotic on his phones speaker. He could only scoff, shaking his head as he all but ran down the stairs and opened the door. The moment his eyes met yours, he was pulling you inside, wrapping an arm over your shoulders and beginning to guide you towards the stairs that led to his bedroom. Though, he'd never been the luckiest person in the world, and the two of you were spotted before he could whisk you away.

"(y/n)!" Elliot would exclaim, throwing his arms up into the air as he made his way over, Diane close behind. The older couple would give you the same welcoming smiles that they always did, pulling you into a warm hug and asking how you'd been. Judd was unsure how he felt about the fact you got along so well with his family. On one hand, it was frustrating. He'd do anything to just be able to rush you upstairs and have his way with you without any interruption. But on the other, he couldn't deny the way his heart ached at the sight of you laughing with his sister and mother, or helping his dad out in the kitchen. You seemed to slot yourself into their dynamic with such ease, as if you belonged. The idea was sweet. Not that he'd dare voice that thought aloud. At least, not this early in the relationship.

"Judd didn't tell us you were coming over." Diane would hum, eyeing her eldest child with a look of annoyance. His mother wasn't a fan of how he tried to hide you away. It wasn't like he was ashamed of being with you, the mere idea of that was laughable. He simply wasn't a fan of his entire family knowing what he was getting up to in his spare time. Especially when it came to his activities in the bedroom. Besides, he wanted to save you at least some of your dignity.

"Oh, it was kind of a last minute decision." You'd explain, though that wasn't true at all. Every time you left Judd's company, he'd make sure to create plans for when you'd next hang out. He didn't like last minute decisions, and he wanted to ensure there would always be a definite time for him to see you. He craved your company in a way he'd never experienced, and so, he didn't like the idea of going without it for too long.

"That's no problem. We'll set a place for you at dinner right next to Judd-y." Elliot would nod, smiling down at you. Though, Judd was quick to intervene.

"No need. We'll eat in my room. I don't need Leah and her friends sending (y/n) deaf." He'd roll his eyes, tightening his grip around your shoulder, hand running along your arm affectionately. He'd never imagined himself to be a physically affectionate person until he met you, but he just couldn't seem to get enough.

"Don't be rude, Judd." Diane would chastise, despite the small smirk that rested on her lips. Even she had to admit that her daughters friends spoke in a tone too high pitched to be natural. "You know how important family dinner is to your father." Elliot would simply shake his head, patting his wife's back.

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure these two just want as much time together as they can get. I remember when we were like that. I couldn't keep my hands off of you when we first got together." The older man would sigh lovingly as he stared at his wife, bringing her closer by the waist. Diane would chuckle under her breathe, grinning.

"You're still like that now." She'd note, causing Judd to hold himself back from gagging. He was used to his parents open-nature when it came to anything surrounding the subject of sex and physical intimacy, but he'd rather they didn't freak you out with it.

"Right, well, we'll be going." He'd grumble, successfully guiding you up the stairs this time. He was quick to shove you into his room, shutting the door once he was inside with you.

"I think it's sweet how your parents are still so in love, I mean-" You were cut off by Judd slamming your back against the bedroom door and practically shoving his tongue down your throat. He didn't want to talk about his parents right now. He'd been thinking about you all day, ever since he'd first woken up to a painful hard on with nothing but the thought of you on his mind.

"Stop talking about them." He'd grumble against your lips, his knee moving to slot between your legs and rub against your crotch. Instantly, a breathless moan escaped you, causing him to grin. He'd never get used to just how reactive you were to his touch. Just the pretty noises you made were enough to have him straining against his pants.

One of his hands would move to rest against the back of your head, fingers weaving into your hair and guiding your head ever so slightly back. Slowly pulling back from the kiss, a thin strand of saliva would form between your lips, a smug grin pulling at his mouth. Those wide doe eyes of yours would never fail to make his heart thump in his chest.

"You miss me?" He'd ask, nosing at your cheek before beginning to trail kisses along your jaw. Maybe the question made him sound needy, pathetic even, but he couldn't help it. "I missed you." He'd admit, kisses moving down to your neck now, quickly finding that one spot that had your head leaning back and hips gliding over his leg. His tongue would run over the skin, before he bit down gently, humming at your salty taste. "Know how many times I fucked my fist thinking 'bout you this morning?" He'd all but growl.

"Judd..." You'd sigh, tilting your head to the side as if to offer up more skin for his mouth to attach to. Though, you quickly froze up when you heard the loud laughter coming from the direction of Leah's room. Judd could only groan, continuing to bury his face into your neck and assault your soft skin with his mouth. "They're g'nna hear us." You'd whimper, his hips rolling against your lower belly.

"Don't give a shit." He'd huff out, shaking his head as his hands began to slide under your shirt, thumbs running under the wire of your bra. Instinctively, you'd press your chest further into his touch, arching your back in the process. He'd grin to himself. "Let them hear." He really couldn't care less if Leah and her little friends heard him fucking you. They were allowed to be as loud as they wanted and disturb his peace, so now he'd disturb theirs.

"But-" You'd choke out the singular word, cut off by how his hands slid beneath your bra and cupped your breasts. He'd quickly get to work, pinching at your nipples and rolling them between his fingers and thumbs. God, he could play with your pretty tits all day if you let him. He'd worship every part of your body for as long as possible.

"Just shut up." He'd bite out, pulling back to glare down at you. It wasn't a mean glare, but one of lust and need. He craved you, needed you in every possible way he could have you. "Don't you wanna make me feel good, huh? Just ignore them and focus on me. Gonna make us both feel so good, baby." He'd mumble into the curve of your jaw, hands sliding down to your waist and beginning to undo the button of your jeans. You seemed to finally give in, nodding and helping him pull down the offending clothing.

As he yanked them down your legs, he'd sink onto his knees, staring up at you as he did so. His lips would travel over your thighs, pressing gentle kisses to the soft skin every now and then. He'd help you step out of the jeans, leaving you in a pair of pretty navy panties. His fingers would trail affectionately over the lacy material, groaning under his breath as he toyed with the edges.

"So pretty like this, baby." He'd murmur into your skin, pressing another kiss to your inner thigh, hearing you whimper in response. His hands would move back to cup your ass, groping at the flesh as his kisses moved up to your heat. He'd press a gentle kiss to the front of your panties, grinning when your hips jolted forward, chasing him as he pulled away. You were so damn desperate, no matter how many times he had his way with you. Every time was like the first.

"Judd." You'd groan out, one of your hands moving through his hair this time, yanking on it so that his gaze met yours once again. You were frustrated, that much was obvious. "Just want you. Now." You'd whisper.

He wasted no time in rising to his feet again, pulling down his own pyjama pants as he did so. He never wore underwear underneath; that was something you'd learnt pretty early on. You'd almost moan at the sight of his length, a bead of pre already leaking from the pink tip. You couldn't stop yourself from running your thumb over it and bringing it up to your lips, causing Judd to groan in response. You were so damn hot without even trying to be.

With that, his hands would grab at the back of your thighs, arms working to lift you up into his hold and wrap your legs around his waist. Your back remained pressed into the door, and his fingers would waste no time in pushing your panties to the side. A low hum rumbled at the back of his throat as he ran his shaft through your folds a couple of times, lubing himself up with your arousal. Then, as if the two of you were running out of time, he'd press himself into you to the hilt, groaning as he rested there. You'd cry and claw at him, arms wrapped tightly around his neck, one hand lost in his hair.

You'd breathe in slow unison, both doing your best to catch your breath and relax. It wasn't often you went straight into it like this, Judd always preferred to play about with you a bit first. But, who was he to deny you when you sounded all whiny and looked at him with those big, pleading eyes of yours? He was weak for you, and he made no attempt to hide it. He'd give you a few moments to get used to the size of him, feeling your velvety walls clench around him and holding himself back from just pounding into you.

Soft hands would play with his hair, and your lips would press to his cheek. He took that as a sign to move, and so, he did. His hips would roll up into yours, making sure to go slowly at first, allowing you to feel just how deep he could reach at this angle. You'd whine and mewl in his ear, his face burying itself into the crook of your neck, breathless pants escaping him. You were so tight, so warm, so perfect. His hands remained resting on your ass, fingers flexing as he groaned into your skin.

"That's it... That's all you wanted, huh? All you ever want, hm? Such a slut for me." He'd murmur, feeling you nod in response, eyes squeezed shut. Slowly, his hips were beginning to pick up the pace, his own need to feel you overwhelming him. "You like that? Like feeling how deep I can go?" He'd continue to ramble, slowly moving to push one of your legs up to your chest until it hooked over his shoulder. You'd whine out, throwing your head back. He was even deeper now.

"God, Judd, feels good... So full." You'd moan weakly, head tilting to the side, jaw hanging open. All kinds of small sounds continued to pour from your lips, and he'd do his best to memorise every single one. His forehead would press against yours, gaze never daring to glance away from your own. He loved watching you fall apart for him, loved seeing just how much he affected you.

"Yeah? You like that?" He'd hum, grinning sadistically as he once again picked up the pace. He was practically slamming into you now, his own body keeping you pressed to the door as his hips pounded into your own. The door would creak with each movement, and he was sure just about anybody in the house would be able to hear your loud moans now, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. The only thing on his mind was feeling you cum around him, and so, that was what he continued to work towards.

"Judd..." You'd stutter out between sob-like moans, tears appearing in the corners of your eyes, hands travelling up to cup either side of his face. He'd turn to press a quick kiss to the palm of your hand before going back to focusing on his ruthless pace. That familiar coil was forming in your belly, and you knew you wouldn't be able to hold on much longer. Your head was spinning, and you could feel hot tears of pleasure cascading down your cheeks. He was pounding into you so deeply, hitting all the right spots that made your toes curl and back arch. "Fuck, Judd." You'd babble, glancing down at where your bodies connected, seeing how he moved in and out of you with such ease.

Though, he was quick to steal your attention, nudging his forehead against your own and huffing out. "Eyes on me." He'd murmur. "Wanna see your eyes when I make you cum." You could only whimper in response, brows furrowing as he chased your orgasm. With just a few more harsh strokes, your legs would begin to shake, and that familiar feeling of white, hot, pleasure would come down upon you. You'd let out a loud cry, and he'd gasp, picking up his pace yet again. It wasn't long until he was reaching his own breaking point, feeling himself spill inside of you, eyes still holding your gaze. There was something so intimate and loving about the way he stared at you, the way he handled you with such gentleness.

The two of you would stay in place for a while, continuing to stare at one another, breath mingling together as one. He'd lean into your touch on his face, momentarily allowing his eyes to close now as he regained his strength. His hands would slowly massage your trembling thighs, helping you to calm down, relax. A low sigh would escape him before he began to pull himself out of you, moaning as he did. With that, he'd carry you over to the bed, placing you into it with gentle care.

"You okay?" He'd hum, leaning down to brush some hair from your face. His eyes held nothing but care and affection in them, his touch tender. You'd nod, panting and chasing his touch, causing him to grin. "Let me get a cloth for you." He'd grumble, reluctantly pulling away to begin cleaning you up.

The process wasn't long, and he was in bed with you in no time, arms wrapped around you, holding you to his chest. He loved being able to just hold you and relax with you like this, the two of you simply existing with one another, appreciating each others company. These were his favourite moments, the ones where all he could hear was the sound of your light breathing, and all he could feel was your body against his. Of course, the moment couldn't last, and before long it was interrupted by his brother opening his bedroom door.

"Judd, mum says you need to come down for dinner-" Nick was cut off by the sight of the you laid across Judd's chest. His face would grow a deep shade of red, eyes wide. Soon enough, his pervy little friend was stood behind him, also taking in the view. The two boys would simply freeze, eyeing up the sleeping girl in his bed.

He was quick to act, grabbing hold of a pillow and throwing it in their direction, pulling up the blankets so that no part of you was on view to them. He'd die before he let Nick and his freaky friend get a look at any part of you belonging to him. Those kinds of views were for his eyes only.

"Get the fuck out!" He'd yell, pushing you gently off of his chest and sitting up to cover you with his own body. The boys would yelp and run away when they saw Judd sit up, slamming the door shut as they left. Though he was glad they were gone, he could feel you beginning to stir beside him. He'd kill them later for waking you up.

"What is it?" You'd huff out, rubbing at your eyes and leaning up. Judd would run a hand over your arm, smiling at the sight of you so groggy from your power nap.

"Dinner." He'd huff out. "I'll go down and get you a plate, yeah? You stay here." He'd insist, though you seemed to have other plans, shaking your head and slowly moving to sit up.

"No, we should eat with your family, don't wanna be rude." You'd mumble, fixing your hair and slowly crawling out of his bed on shaky legs. He'd groan, not only at the idea of having to sit through dinner with his family, but also at the thought of not being able to just lay in bed with you for a little while longer.

He'd helped you get dressed into a pair of his jogging bottoms and an oversized shirt, before beginning to guide you downstairs. He'd grin proudly to himself when he noticed the shake in your legs as you came down the stairs, but you were quick to slap at his chest, causing him to huff.

His parents would give him knowing looks as the two of you entered the dining room and he pulled out a chair for you, but he'd choose to ignore them, focusing on you instead. You gave him that sweet smile that never failed to make his heart flutter, before taking a seat and allowing him to push you in. As he moved to his seat beside you, he'd finally notice Leah's friends who were sat at the table, greeting him and completely disregarding your presence.

"Hey Judd.."

"Hi..."

"Wanna watch me eat a sausage?"

Judd could feel bile raise in his throat, but he did well to just roll his eyes and ignore them, biting back an insult that he knew both you and his mum would tell him off for. Leah would glare at her friends and give them a look of warning, which they seemed to completely ignore.

You, on the other hand, didn't find it so easy to ignore their flirtatious tones. It was uncomfortable to hear other girls openly flirt with the guy you were sleeping with, of course it was. And, to make matters worse, it wasn't exactly a secret that you were sleeping with him; you were in his house, wearing his clothes and eating a meal his parents had made (not to mention the fact they'd most definitely heard him having his way with you less than an hour ago). Yet, despite all of that, they continued to flirt with him like you weren't even in the room.

Neither you or Judd had brought up the topic of a relationship in the last few months. Things were good as they were, and the two of you were comfortable in the little routine you'd created. You had no idea what his thoughts were, but you'd most definitely begun to fall for him. Your heart slammed against your ribcage every-time you caught him so much as look in your direction at school, cheeks growing hot whenever his shoulder grazed yours in the halls. The sex was great, no doubt, but you wanted more than just that. You enjoyed his company, craved it. You wanted to be able to spend time with him without using the excuse of wanting a good fuck. Not that you'd ever bring it up to him. As far as you knew, you were nothing but a way to get off for him. Sure, he spoke to you sweetly and gave you better treatment than you ever thought he was capable of, but what if that was just how he was with every girl he slept with? He could be a gentleman and still keep his reputation of an asshole.

Whilst you zoned out, Judd would take it upon himself to grab hold of your plate and begin to place food onto it. As he did so, he could feel Leah's stare on him, causing his natural frown to grow deeper. He already knew she had something to ask.

"Um, hey, Judd..." She'd say as sweetly as possible, staring at her older brother with a look of hope. He was already bored of whatever this was.

"Whatever it is, fuck off." He didn't even glance in her direction, making sure to give you an extra scoop of the potatoes he knew you loved. Then, he was sliding the plate in front of you, grabbing his own plate and scooping on just about the same thing he'd given you.

"Oh, come on! I just want you to text your hook-up in the city and, like, buy us some mushrooms tomorrow." She'd plead, holding her hands to her chest as if to look somewhat innocent. It was ironic, considering she'd just asked for drugs.

"Yeah, we wanna get high and figure out if we're actually friends." One of her friends would chime in, writhing in her seat in an attempt to look cute. Judd didn't even bother glancing in their direction.

"Please? We'll pay you double." Leah would add on, which seemed to finally convince him.

"Fine. I'm saving up for a pressure cooker." He'd grumble, placing his own plate in front of himself and shoving some chicken into his mouth.

The group of girls seemed to light up upon hearing his agreement, cheering amongst themselves and smiling brightly at him like he was God's greatest gift. Just the way they ogled him was enough to have you shuffling in your seat, feeling a strange possessiveness build up inside of you. You weren't used to this; you'd never been jealous over a person. Were you being pathetic? Would he laugh at you if he knew you were feeling this way? Probably.

"You're our hero, Judd." A brunette girl would sigh.

"I love you, like, for real." Another would chime in, sending Judd a look of pure adoration.

"Gabrielle!" Leah would exclaim, sending her friend a look of disapproval.

"What? Your brother's hot!" The girl would defend herself, causing your face to scrunch up as you did your best to focus on the food in front of you rather than their conversation. Judd seemed to ignore them with such ease, why couldn't you?

"Seriously, he's such a badass." Another would murmur, eyeing him up like a piece of meat. It just didn't sit right with you. Everyone at school was always too scared of Judd to approach him, you'd never expected girls to fawn over him like this.

As if noticing your distress, Judd would glance at you out of the corner of his eyes, taking in the way you stabbed at the meat on your plate. His hand would move to run along your leg, before he affectionately squeezed your thigh, brows ever so slightly raised, silently asking if you were alright.

You couldn't tell him that the way they spoke about him upset you. He'd probably panic about the fact you were clearly growing feelings for him and kick you out. So, you just smiled and continued to eat, leaving him to watch you in confusion.

"Exciting, the Birch house, isn't it?" Nick's barely moustached friend, Andrew, would sigh, eyes trained on you. Judd's gaze would sharpen when he saw how the two boys were looking at you, knuckles turning white from how tightly he clutched at his knife and fork.

"Don't talk to her, you little shit." He'd grunt out, giving Andrew a deadly stare that had the smaller boy shrinking back in his seat. You'd turn to Judd, shaking your head as if to tell him to stop scaring the kid. He'd huff, subtly moving his chair closer to yours, knee brushing your own. He had no doubt the creepy teen would be having wet dreams about you later, and that made his stomach turn.

"You wanna come with me tomorrow?" Judd would hum as he ate, tone low, eyes glancing at you every now and then, trying to gauge your reaction. You'd freeze for a moment, turning to him. He'd never really asked you to hang out like that. At least, not anywhere that wasn't at school or his house. Going out with him like that would be new. "To get the 'shrooms for Leah and her pack of crows." He'd nod his head over to the lively girls, as if you'd been confused by what he meant.

"Yeah, 'course." You'd smile in return, nodding. Though, you still felt a slight discomfort in your stomach. The flirty glances Leah's friends continued to send Judd didn't go unnoticed by you, and you weren't sure how much longer you could put up with it.

Dinner didn't last too long after that, and by the end of it, you'd only managed to finish about half of what Judd had put on your plate. Clearly, the continuous comments and looks from Leah's friends had ruined your appetite.

Now, you found yourself back in Judd's room, sat in his bed scrolling through your phone as he sat on the side lifting some weights and watching you. He'd noticed how off you'd been at dinner, and the urge to find out what was bothering you gnawed at him. You always finished whatever his parents had made you for dinner, not only because you thought they'd hate you if you didn't, but because you genuinely enjoyed his father's cooking. After a while, it was clear you weren't going to say anything, so he took it upon himself, placing the weight to the side and moving to rest a hand at your ankle.

"What's up with you?" He'd grunt, brows narrowed in question. You looked sad, uncomfortable, and he hated it. He was so used to you being giggly and playful around him, so to see you like this was unsettling. It didn't feel right.

"Nothing." You'd glance up, meeting his gaze and shrugging your shoulders. Then, you went back to your phone like nothing was wrong. No, he wasn't having that. You weren't going to just shrug this off like you weren't pouting and feeling sorry for yourself. He could read you like a book by now, and that frown on your lips was telling him you were anything but fine. So, his hand wrapped around your ankle, pulling you further down the bed so that he could climb on top of you.

"Talk to me." He'd huff, snatching your phone from your hands and placing it to the side, ignoring how you whined in protest. He was practically straddling you by now, hands either side of your head. It took all of his willpower to ignore the rise and fall of your chest.

"'S nothing, I already told you." You'd huff out, resting beneath him with a defiant look in your eyes.

"Stop being such a fucking brat and tell me." He'd demand, hand travelling down to slide beneath the sweatpants he'd given you and glide over your folds. Your entire body would jolt, eyes growing hooded as you bit your bottom lip. "I'm not stupid, can tell something's bothering you."

"Never said you were stupid." You'd whine, hips rolling up to chase his fingers, which he quickly pulled away. A noise of upset left you, which made him grin.

"Tell me what you're thinking about." He'd encourage, thumb moving to draw slow circles over your clit, eliciting a breathless moan from you. You looked conflicted, as if debating whether or not to really tell him what was on your mind. A part of you wanted to, wanted to just confess your jealousy and hope he'd comfort and reassure you. But, another part of you was screaming not to, telling you that it would be stupid to even mention the thought to him, that he'd just shrug it off and call you an idiot. Finally, after a few more strokes of his thumb, you'd break, gaze tracing over anything but him as you let out a shaky breath of air.

"I don't like how Leah's friends look at you." You'd whisper, head turning to the side to look at the wall. Judd's movements would pause as he hovered over you, a look of confusion overcoming his features.

"How they look at me?" He'd repeat. You'd nod.

"How they look at you. How they speak about you." You'd add on, moving to brush away some hair that had fallen into your face, nervously fiddling with the strands. Judd would take a few moments to think about your words, before a small grin settled on his features. "Like you're a piece of meat."

"Yeah?" He'd hum. "You sure you're not just jealous?" He'd grumble, leaning down to press a kiss to the love bite he'd left on your neck earlier. A shiver would run down your spine, back arching off of the bed as you chased his lips.

"No." You're respond quickly, lips pulling into a pout. You knew this would happen, knew he'd just make fun of you. You shouldn't have said anything. His hand would move back to your cunt, fingers gliding ever so gently through your folds, causing you to whine and gasp.

"You're not?" He'd hum. "Not jealous of how they were trying to flirt with me? Of how they look at me?" He'd ask, collecting your arousal on his fingers before bringing them up to his lips and taking them into his mouth, allowing himself a taste of you. A low hum escaped him, and he was quick to move his fingers from his mouth to yours, allowing you a taste as well. "'S not a bad thing, baby. It's kind of cute." He'd shrug, making you whine around his fingers as they stuffed your mouth full. A low chuckle left him.

"You worried I enjoy it? Worried I like 'em?" He'd ask, gaze never breaking from your own. You seemed to hesitate for a moment, but when his fingers moved from your mouth and back down to your crotch, you'd quickly find yourself nodding. Judd would coo mockingly, tutting under his breath. "Poor thing." He'd mumble, hand moving again.

Slowly, he'd begin to sink down on the bed, until he was face to face with your heat, lips ghosting over the material of the sweats you wore. His gaze was heavy on your face, hands smoothing over your clothed thighs as he continued to rile you up.

"Did you see me look at them? Even once?" He'd ask, moving forward to press a soft kiss to the material. "When did I ever even glance in their direction, huh?" He'd practically growl. "Didn't, did I?" You shook your head in response.

"No." You'd mewl, staring down at him, using your forearms to hold you up so you could watch him.

"So what makes you think I like 'em? In what world would I give them even a moment of my time, huh? Acting like I wasn't up here fucking you an hour before dinner." He'd hum, slowly pulling the sweatpants down, grinning as you lifted your hips to help him. You were always so damn eager and willing. Such a good girl for him. He'd take your panties along with them, wanting to just get to your skin. "Such a greedy little thing, huh? Don't even want other girls looking at me?"

"Yeah." You'd admit breathlessly, nodding like an idiot. You didn't care how pathetic you looked right about now, all you could think about was having his mouth on your cunt. He'd chuckle when he heard your agreement, shaking his head and pressing a soft kiss to your clit.

"Those annoying shits don't stand a chance with me, sweet thing." He'd murmur, pressing more kisses over your inner thighs. "Not when I've got you." He'd grin.

With that, he was leaning down, pressing a gentle, open-mouthed kiss to your heat, causing you to gasp and lift your hips from the bed. He was quick to react, wrapping his arms around your thighs and taking hold of your hips, holding you down so that you couldn't move. His tongue would flick out to move in tight circles over your clit, lips pulling into a smug smirk when you cried out a moan.

"Such a pretty girl. All mine, right?" He'd murmur into your pussy, licking a long stripe through your folds and humming as your arousal collected on his tongue. You were so sweet.

"Yeah." You'd squeak out, making him chuckle.

"Mhm, and I'm all yours, yeah?" He'd continue to ask, knowing you weren't really in the right mind to be answering questions right now. His mouth was attacking your heat, and he expected you to respond to every word he asked.

"Uh-huh." You'd sigh, nodding deliriously.

"Smart girl. My smart girl." He'd praise, moving his thumb up to rub circles over your bundle of nerves, tongue moving down to kitten-lick over your hole, leaving your walls to clench around nothing. Breathless gasps and whimpers would continue to pour from you, going straight to his head.

"Judd." You'd sigh out, head thrashing from one side to the other as you did your best to contain the sheer need you felt for the man between your legs. He'd just continue to chuckle to himself as he heard your whines, applying more pressure to your clit with his thumb.

"Mm? My jealous girl need something? What d'you need, baby?" He'd coo almost sadistically, evil eyes staring up at you as he leaned away from your heat. You'd sob at the loss of contact, attempting to roll your hips but failing due to his grip on them.

"Wanna cum." You'd huff, one hand moving to rest on his head, attempting to guide his mouth back down. He'd refuse, remaining where he was and grinning.

"You g'nna be good? G'nna tell me when you're upset next time instead of being a little brat and ignoring me?" He'd ask, causing you to immediately nod along. You'd agree to anything if it meant he'd finish what he'd started. "Need your words, baby. C'mon." He'd encourage, causing you to sob.

"Yes, Judd, do what ever you want." You'd whine.

"Don't cry, baby." He'd hum, leaning back down and moving his hand away from your clit, fingers circling around your entrance now. His tongue would move to take over the job his thumb had been doing, kitten-licking at your bundle of nerves. "Been so good for me." He'd mumble.

With that, two fingers slowly slid into you, immediately beginning to pump in and out. He was practically making out with your cunt by now, fingers curling and hurling you towards your orgasm. Your own fingers would yank on his hair desperately, anchoring his face to you as you continued to try rolling your hips, still failing.

He was relentless in his movements now, giving you exactly what you'd asked for, though it was somewhat overwhelming. The pleasure was building quickly, not allowing your mind to keep up with your body. Before you could even register it, you were coming undone, chest heaving and moans vibrating in your throat as you felt yourself release. Judd would groan, lapping up whatever he could get, nose bumping with your clit every now and then, causing you to whine.

His lips continued to kiss at your cunt until you finally began to calm down, pussy growing sensitive and hips attempting to escape his touch as it grew too much. He'd hum, moving back up to lean over you until his lips met yours in a sweet kiss. It was slow and gentle, as if he was deliberately being soft with you.

"Meant what I said." He'd whisper against your lips, clean hand moving up to run over the side of your face, stroking your cheek tenderly with his thumb. "'M all yours, don't want anybody else like I want you, especially not Leah's bitchy friends." He'd grumble with a huff from his nose.

"Haven't wanted anybody else since we started... Only ever crave you, crave havin' you near me, crave your company." He'd explain, tongue momentarily sliding into your mouth, causing you to hum when you tasted yourself on it. Then, he'd pause, as if silently debating over something.

"I don't normally do the whole relationship thing, never thought I'd be any good at it." He'd admit quietly, leaning back to look at you beneath him. "But I want that with you. Want to know that you're mine, want everyone to know that you're mine and I'm yours." He'd confess almost shyly. You'd go silent for a while, causing him to frown and huff. "You don't have to say anything-"

You'd cut him off by pulling him down into another kiss, this one faster, more excited and passionate. "Yeah." You'd sigh. "I'd like that." You could feel him smile, genuinely smile, against your lips, causing your heart to flutter.

"Good." He'd growl. "Was gonna have to kill you if you said no."

[heesdreamer]

HALF RETURN

PAIRING ➩ jay x reader

SUMMARY ➩ your small towns yearly fall festival was your biggest pride and joy but getting your friends to help volunteer was nearly impossible. luckily one of them was stupid enough and too secretly inlove with you to help himself from offering.

WC ➩ 15.6k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ Surprise! It’s been a long time since I’ve sat down and wrote something that I actually enjoyed but this was a lot of fun to write and hopefully the start of me coming back on here in the future. It’s not my most exciting or hot and heavy piece of work but if you’re looking for a light fluffy small town read then I really hope you enjoy and let me know what you think. Happy fall everybody and thanks for your patience and support as always. NOT AT ALL PROOFREAD

The cold bite of fall had always been your favorite time of year, finding it easiest to romanticize both its pros and its cons.

Which was something you did with just about everything and everyone you ever encountered, making them larger than life as a character in your story before they were leaving and their starring chapter was turning the page with them.

So it was your favorite time of year for many reasons, the realistic ones like the fact it was the slowest months of work and you got more paid time off than you probably deserved, but also because it was so terribly romantic in all the sniffly nose and itchy sweater goodness that came along with it.

That’s why it was no surprise to the people around you that you were constantly surrounding yourself with fall activities and hobbies. Your small town didn’t offer much, mainly known for biking through the winding roads of the mountains and the sleek dark concrete that always seemed to be wet because of the constant rainfall. It did, however, have a yearly fall festival that you had been volunteering at since you were in middle school.

You’d always heard people growing up who talked about wanting to get out of your hometown, dreamily describing big cities they’d seen on vacations and how much different the world was past the mountains and trees.

You never felt the longing to escape something this beautiful and rare and while you figured the world outside was as amazing as they described, you preferred where you had grown up. It was quiet and easy to memorize, everybody knew everybody and treated each other like family so nobody stole from others or treated them poorly. It was easy to love and, in your mind, easy to stay in as you grew old and had your own family.

Despite your own strong feelings towards your hometown, your friends probably wanted to escape it more than the average person.

You’d spent more than a few dozen hangouts laying in various basements across old couches and listening to them talk about their dreams, dreams that would take them hundreds of miles away from this town and hundreds of miles away from you.

That didn’t stop you from excitedly rushing over to the assigned hangout house for the weekend, your bike tires going so fast they were kicking up mud onto your bare legs as you pushed your thighs past your limit to peddle.

You were hurriedly hopping off once you caught sight of the familiar house, leaning your bike against the chipped paint on the side of it and quickly kicking off your dirty shoes as you greeted the mother of one of your best friends. She wasn’t at all thrown off by your quick entry or the fact you were disappearing into the basement before she could respond or tell you to clean off your dirty legs, more than used to your group of friends coming and going as the sun set.

The sounds of your pounding footsteps didn’t even grab the attention of the group of people hanging out in the basement, only one looking up to watch you as you stumbled in.

“I have great news.” You announced with a large smile, hands extended towards them to really drive forward the importance of your words .

Jay, one of your lifelong friends and the one who had watched you as you entered, raised his eyebrows in question and sat up slightly, a direct opposite of the others who didn’t even bother to acknowledge you yet.

“Mrs. Potter broke her leg.” You squeaked out the news and clenched your hands into excited fist, your smile only faltering when Sunghoon was turning to look at you with a confused glare and Heeseung stopped plucking at the guitar strings he was tuning to give you a look of bewilderment. The room fell silent and you dropped your hands against your sides in upset.

“I know she can be a bit of a nag but is that really something to celebrate?” Jungwon had an eyebrow cocked as he looked at you finally but you could see a hint of amusement on his face.

You were dramatically groaning and sulking your way over to the couch, flopping down onto the spot next to Jay and failing to fully notice the way he was tensing up for a second and then awkwardly clearing his throat when your leg brushed against his. You wrote it off as him being weary of the mud on your legs getting onto his pants, giving him a quick sorry glance before scooting over a tad.

“Of course I’m not happy about her broken leg.” You shot Jungwon a glare for his purposefully wrong assumption and he gave you a smile, eyebrows raising and hiding behind his bangs for a second. “But since she’s injured, may she heal quickly, that means there’s an open job at the fair.”

The finality of the news drew out immediate reactions from your friends. Presenting in the form of an eye roll from Jungwon as he immediately lost interest in the conversation, a disbelieving laugh from Sunghoon and an apologetic smile from Heeseung.

“Sorry Y/N but I helped you last year.” He was shaking his head and plucking at the strings again, happy he had an excuse and the others didn’t.

“That was six years ago.” You deadpanned at him, remembering all too well considering how terrible of a volunteer the tall boy had been. It wasn’t long before he was being asked to step down by the couple who ran it so his position could be filled by somebody who didn’t let the popcorn machine overflow or hand out free prizes to any kid that sniffled and gave him their best begging puppy eyes.

He just shrugged at your correction and your frown deepened despite the fact you’d already figured they’d say no considering they’d been doing so for almost a decade. You had hoped the guilt from Mrs. Potters injury would have been enough to convince at least one of the four boys.

“You’ve been asking us for all this time and we’ve never accepted. Why not ask Jake from the soccer team, doesn’t he have the hots for you?” Sunghoon was speaking in a bored tone as he relayed the information, not paying enough attention to notice the way you froze up and stared at him in confusion.

“Dude…” Heeseung trailed off as he shot his friend an annoyed stare, stretching out his leg so he could kick the boys knee in a form of scolding.

“Jake likes me?” You sat up straighter and stared at the oldest boy, trusting his word over the other threes. “Like Jake Sim? How long have you guys known about this?”

They exchanged guilty looks between themselves and you turned to look at the boy closest to you for answers instead.

Jay had always been the most mature out of your little group, even when you were all kids pushing each other around on the playground. He seemed like the oldest at times even though Heeseung took that role, strikingly alert and calm when situations caused everyone else to panic. You definitely weren’t the closest though friendship wise considering he wasn’t the biggest talker, more likely to stand in the corner and take small sips of his drink than actually engage in your loud conversations.

You always figured this was because he didn’t have any friends outside of your circle. The other boys had some more casual buddies, take Jake Sim for example, but Jay pretty much stuck to himself if he wasn’t with the four of you.

He had a certain energy that you weren’t used to seeing growing up, something about him being different than the others and that was including you and your friends. Even his look stood out, jet black hair with piercing eyes that only looked more intimidating considering he primarily wore dark clothes and a hint of smudged eyeliner.

Most people in town, and school growing up, found his presence overly intimidating and you’d heard your fair share of whispers about him and your group of friends.

His attempts to be seen as scary and keep people away from him never was turned onto you and you’d dealt with a lot of teasing from the others boy, making fun of Jay for having a soft spot for you or pouting that he let you do things he always refused to do for them. He’d glare at them until they shut up and moved on or he’d offer a soft shrug, followed by a hint of a smile when you giggled lightly at his lack of denial.

That’s why you were turning to face him now with wide and begging eyes, leaning against his side and wrapping your hand around his hoodie clothed arm to make sure his attention was on you, despite the fact it always seemed to be anyways.

“Did you hear Jake saying he likes me Jay?” Your voice was sickeningly sweet and you could hear the other boys groaning in disgust at your attempts to butter up their friend.

It didn’t seem to be working this time considering he was just staring at you with a blank expression, gaze dropping to where your hand was holding him for just a second like he was considering something before he was shrugging softly. You pouted again at his lack of response despite knowing your friend was a man of few words.

“He wouldn’t tell Jay anyways doofus, he knows that he-“ Heeseung was laughing as he started to speak and explain something that was abruptly cut off by Jungwon aggressively chucking the magazine he was flipping through in his direction.

The older boy let out a yelp and held his hands up in surrender. You looked back at Jay confused and waiting for him to fill in the blanks, even more lost when you noticed him glaring at Heeseung with a slightly fearful expression under the anger.

You suddenly remembered you were still holding onto his arm and you gently squeezed it to try and bring his attention for you, grateful it worked when he was awkwardly meeting your gaze again and sighing softly. You cocked an eyebrow in silent conversation as you waited for him to tell you what they were being suspicious about, grateful that in the background Heeseung had started to strum at his guitar again and the other two begun to talk about nonsense.

“Do you think Jake likes me enough to help me with the fair?” Your voice was a low whisper as you stared at him, leaning in slightly and missing the way his jaw clenched at your question.

“You know me and Jake aren’t friends Y/N, I wouldn’t know anything about it.” He was overwhelmingly glad your friends weren’t paying attention anymore because he knew for a fact his voice had taken on that extra sweet tone he only used with you, meeting your volume and also whispering softly despite the fact you both didn’t need to.

You were pouting again and not moving away from his face, so busy in your thoughts you once again failed to notice the way his eyes were dropping down to your pushed out lips that were closer to his than usual.

He knew you were just being dramatic, something you commonly were regardless of the situation, but he couldn’t stand seeing the expression on your face or the disappointment in your eyes. He was taking in a big breathy sigh, getting your attention again as you squeezed his arm and gave him another wide eyed and hopeful look.

“But you don’t need to ask him anyways because I’ll volunteer with you.”

You were breaking out into a wide smile at the same exact time the other boys in the room were making shocked and angry exclamations, being drowned out by your excited shriek, you closed the distance between you and Jay and leapt forward to give him a hug, pressing his back against the armrest of the couch and practically falling into his lap out of excitement.

“Dude what are you talking about? What about band practice?” Sunghoon’s annoyed tone was seeping through your happiness and piercing it with a knife of realization causing you to sit up slightly and look down at Jay in confusion.

“He’s right, what are you going to do about practice?” You were pouting at him again but slightly above him now considering you were still halfway in his lap with your arms wrapped around his neck. You watched the way his ears were turning red the longer you stayed in that position but you assumed he was just flustered from his plans colliding. “I can ask Jake if you’re busy it’s really no big deal.”

You heard a pained grunt from behind you and turned to see Sunghoon cradling his knee with a hurt expression, you followed his line of sight to see Jungwon glaring viciously at him.

“Sunghoon’s an idiot Y/N don’t listen to him, Jay is completely free to help you out with the fair.” Jungwon had taken on a sickeningly sweet tone and your nose scrunched up in disgust at the sound of it, looking between the four boys suspiciously.

None of them were meeting your gaze full out but you tried to ignore how weird they were all being about the situation, more excitement creeping back up at the confirmation you’d have help with the fair, especially since it was Jay who was miles more mature than the rest of them. You were squeezing him back into a hug with another happy squeal and he returned it weakly, eyeing Jungwon viciously over your shoulder.

——

You’d spend most of the following Monday morning getting ready for the first day of setting up the fair, tightly wrapping your scarf around your neck and settling your ear muffs just loose enough so you’d still be able to hear while avoiding the cold chill as it got later in the day.

Your morning hot chocolate was abandoned on the kitchen sink when you heard the soft bells chiming from outside your house, typically occupied by numerous other louder ringings but you knew who it was immediately judging by its gentle sound.

Looking out your living room window confirmed your suspicions seeing Jay sitting on his bike at the end of your drive way and staring down at his hands. He was picking at his fingers, a habit he’d adapted after the callouses from his guitar started to form more often.

Your fist was banging on the thick glass roughly, a smile on your face building when he jump slightly on his bike seat and looked up towards your direction with a startled expression. You waved at him and his shoulders released a little bit of tension, turning your hand over and fanning it towards you, silently instructing him to come inside.

He was hesitating for a second before you saw him gently lowering his bike down onto your front yard, bouncing in your stride as you went to open the door for him.

“I figured you’d want some cocoa before you were stuck in the cold all day.” You were quickly explaining your invitation inside to him as soon as you swung the wooden door open, he’d barely gotten up the steps and gave you a surprised look before nodding swiftly in agreement and coming inside.

You walked back to the kitchen with him in tow and tried to ignore the weird nervous feeling building in your stomach. You’d been alone with Jay countless times so you hadn’t thought much about it but the more you reflected back on it the more you realized you’d mainly sat in awkward silence for short durations waiting for the others to come back and ease the tension.

Pouring the steaming hot chocolate into a new mug for him, you told yourself to not take it personally.

Jay had always been on the quieter side and you knew it had nothing to do with you, as far as you were concerned. This was confirmed a bit when you glanced over your shoulder to see him awkwardly standing against the wall near the doorway, watching you as you poured the drinks but quickly diverting his attention around the room when you made eye contact.

You laughed softly, handling the hot handles carefully as you turned slowly, nudging your chin towards the living room so he understood where you were heading as you walked past him.

“Thank you again for helping me Jay.” You were speaking in a low voice as you sat on the couch, leaning over to hand him his drink considering he sat an entire cushion away from you. “I know you didn’t necessarily want to.”

He wasn’t responding out loud, just give you a soft nod of his head and looking down at the cup of hot chocolate awkwardly, twiddling his thumbs around the mugs handle and shifting in his spot on the couch. A frown was instinctively forming on your face at his silence and you wondered for a second if you should make up some excuse to free him of his responsibilities, maybe tell him you’d actually found somebody else to help out.

But then he was glancing at you and the corner of his mouth turned up just enough for you to notice and you felt better, a wide grin breaking out on yours.

“Oh.” Your eyes widened suddenly as you remembered something you’d gotten for him as a thank you, quickly telling him you’d be right back and rushing up the stairs to your bedroom, leaving him on the couch.

You returned swiftly with the fabric in your hands to see him sitting tensely in the same spot, waiting to see what you’d gotten so excited about. His eyebrows raised when you approached holding the long string of material and you smiled more at his clear hesitance, sitting directly next to him on the couch and turning to face him.

“What is that thing?” He was questioning in a low tone but you could hear the humor in the question, clearly amused by the monstrosity you were holding.

“I’ve taken up crocheting recently.” You explained to him with a smile, stretching out the clothing in your hands to show him exactly what it was you were gifting him. “I figured I’d make you a scarf so you didn’t get too cold helping me. It even matches mine.”

Your excitement was clear despite the fact it clearly didn’t match your store bought white scarf. The black fabric was lumpy and awkward, random strings sticking out in places they weren’t meant to be and barely forming a straight enough line to properly be a scarf.

Jay couldn’t have cared less about how the gift looked, he was flushed in the face just due to the fact you’d chosen to make him it in the first place. He figured you would have done it for whoever agreed to help you and he imagined you’d be gifting them all a lot of hand made things if the hobby managed to actually stick, but your smile when you shifted towards him more and indicated you wanted to put it on him was a gift enough in itself.

He watched your face closely as you delicately wrapped it around his neck, crossing the ends so it wouldn’t slip off easily or open up.

You were meeting his gaze for half a second and giving him a proud smile before a bright flash from the side of you was startling you both, jumping away from each other and widening the distance you hadn’t even realized was closing. You turned your head quickly to see what had made the interruption and a low groan pushed past your lips when you saw your mother standing there with her polaroid camera.

“I’m sorry! You two just looked so cute matching together.” She was giving you a sheepish grin as she poked her head out from behind the blocky camera, eyes teasing and glancing between both of you.

You glanced at Jay to see he had completely tensed up again, jaw tight as he avoided looking at you and stared towards your mother before going back to picking at his rough hands.

She wasn’t exactly wrong about the two of you matching, the scarves being the main point of focus but it didn’t help that Jay was wearing his typical head to two black clothing and you’d gone for a lightly colored white and tan pallet today, so perfectly opposite it almost looked intentional.

“It’s nice to see you as always Jay, it’s been a while since you’ve come around.” Your mothers tone was sweet as she spoke to him but you could see the curiosity on her face, causing you to quickly stand from the couch and butt in.

“Thanks mom but we really have to get going, can’t be late on the first day.” You gave her a tight smile and instinctively reached your hand backwards for Jay to take it.

It was left empty for a few seconds and you glanced over your shoulder to see him staring at it with confusion before he was setting his untouched mug down and clasping his rough hand in yours. You tugged him forward and he made a small shocked noise as you dragged him out of the house, listening to your mom call out wishing the two of you good luck with the fair.

You both stayed silent as he picked his bike up from off the wet grass and waited for you to unlock yours, your hands moving fast to switch the numbers and remove it from the rickety old piece of wood your mother called a handrail despite barely being stable enough for a twig to lean on it let alone a human.

Suddenly you felt an emotion you rarely did, embarrassment flooding through you as your neck got hotter and hotter under your scarf.

You found yourself wondering what Jay thought of the state of your house even though all the boys had been there over a dozen times and you’d never once considered picking up the messes your mom made in a rush or raking the pile of leaves and twigs surrounding your old porch.

Almost everyone in town was around the same class in terms of wealth and status, with the small exception of families like Heeseung’s who could afford weekly maintenance on their yards and a fully finished basement with little risk of flooding, but he was very generous with his extra space and would slyly cover lunches and treats without making a big deal about it.

You’d surprisingly never been to Jay’s house and you weren’t sure the other boys had been either.

He always insisted on walking home or being dropped off in the center of town claiming he had a ride on the way without giving too much information. You’d see Sunghoon, who was your usual driver, push it a few times but the uncomfortable look on the older boys face made you take a mental note to not pry for more details yourself.

You sighed when the lock finally popped up and glanced up just enough to see him still watching you patiently, not bothering to make snide remarks about your speed or rush you like your other friends might’ve.

“Sorry about my mom.” You started speaking once you pushed your bike over to where he was standing with his, both of you rolling them out of the driveway and down onto the empty street. The potholes were full of the brown rain water and specs of gravel here and there made it a bit risky to go too fast on your bike but you mounted it anyways.

He didn’t reply directly other than a shake of his head that indicated he saw no issue with it but the silence was killing you and you waited until his bike was steadily riding next to yours before speaking again.

“She’s just so overbearing sometimes and it’s totally embarrassing oh don’t worry she won’t do anything with that photo, I’m not even sure the camera fully works I think it’s just for the effect.” You were definitely rambling but it wasn’t out of character for you to be filling silence with nonsense and excited monologues.

“Your mom is nice.” He was talking suddenly and it indirectly cut off your next stream of verbal thoughts, surprised at the fact he had actually added to the conversation instead of just giving you soft nods and listening. “Atleast from what I can tell.”

You were staring at him with your mouth parted but only for a few seconds so you didn’t run into anything, nodding your head and swapping roles as you fell silent. You ignored the urge to ask about his own mother and turned a corner a little too sharply, thankfully not enough to fall into the dirty street but it still brought a small laugh out of him and you smiled in response.

“It’ll be really easy on the first day.” It was better to switch the line of conversation to something less invasive so you could avoid embarrassing yourself further and he went back to nodding as you spoke, riding slightly in front of you with his hands tightening and unclenching around the handle bars.

You mentally decided you’d learn how to make knitted gloves next.

——

The day thankfully went as simply as you had promised it would considering there wasn’t too much to do yet with the booths just starting to get set up as vendors picked their locations for the year and unpacked their truckloads of goodies.

You couldn’t keep the smile off your face as you dragged Jay around, equally as happy about the fair finally happening and the fact you’d managed to have a friend to share it with after so many years of having to keep the excitement to yourself.

Jay was a very good sport about the muddy grass and the chaotic setting of the field that was always used, much more patient with you and your high energy than the other boys would’ve been. You kept your hand locked around his elbow as you pulled him from vendor to vendor, introducing each familiar face to him and giving him a quick rundown on what they sold and where they came from.

You loved the fair so much because it meant you got to see new faces and hear stories about the towns neighboring yours for once, a large amount of the attendees coming from other places to promote their small businesses. The vending was a small part of the entire celebration but it was your personal favorite.

“This booth is the best.” You were leaning a bit closer to him so none of the others heard you and took offense to your bias and he glanced at you from the side of his eye. “Aren’t they beautiful?”

Jay shifted in place as you both studied the half set up booth full of custom made jewelry with shiny metal clasps and crystals you’d never even heard of let alone actually got to see in person.

“She makes all of these herself?” His voice had taken on the same whisper as yours had and you nodded as you followed his line of sight to see the owner of the booth, an older woman who was hanging up a sign with shaky hands and furrowed eyebrows.

Your hand was falling against your side as Jay moved forward and it lost its place on his arm, a frown forming on your face for just a few seconds before a smile replaced it as you realized what he was doing.

His voice was low and gentle as he spoke to her so you couldn’t quite hear what he was saying but she made an appreciative noise and handed the sign over to him so he could help her get it in place, her less shaky hands patting him on the shoulder thankfully once he was finished.

You took a step or two closer which was enough to get his attention and he looked up at you swiftly, eyes widening a bit like he only just now realized he’d left you standing there instinctively.

Surprisingly he was coming back to your side and bending his arm enough to indicate you could hold it again, something you quickly did even if your cheeks flushed a little at the realization you’d been holding onto him the entire day without really even noticing that wasn’t something you typically did.

“How lovely.” The vendor was practically cooing at the sight of you and your mouth dropped open at the implication of both your stance and your matching scarves. “What a kind young man, you’re a lucky lady.”

Jay made a noise that could only be described as strangled and you would have laughed at him if it wasn’t for the bashful look on the woman’s face, clearly regretting her words and assumption because of his reaction.

“I am, aren’t I?” You were giving her a sweet smile before gently patting his arm and watching the side of his face to further bask in his embarrassment.

You could hear her laughing in relief and delight at the sight of the two of you but you were more focused on how red Jay was turning and the way he was intensely attempting to not look at you. You grinned harder before waving goodbye to her and tugging him along, causing him to let out another distressed sound.

“What was that?” He was shocking you by speaking up and questioning your motives but you only laughed at the serious tone he’d taken and continued walking.

“I mean she’s not entirely wrong. I’d say I’m very lucky.” You tilted to the side to bump against him and he let out a scoffed laugh that made your smile grow, pleased you’d gotten him to loosen up a little bit.

You’d taken him a little past the vendors now so the buzz of the moving people and trucks had quieted down, instead being replaced by the clucks of chicken and the soft noises the cows in the barn were making.

The sight of a farm wasn’t uncommon where you lived but this one was particularly amazing to you considering the sheer size of it, making it the perfect space to host the crowds and heavy machinery that came along with the fairs open weekend. The large field would soon be filled with food trucks and a ferris wheel standing taller than the trees surrounding you, children running with caramel apples and a petting zoo full of the same animals in the red barn behind you.

“It’s really something.” Jay was filling the silence and you snapped out of your envisioning to glance at him, finding him also looking out into the field and watching the place come to life. “I didn’t realize how different it would be from just attending.”

“Atleast you don’t find it as boring as the others do.” You’d stopped walking by now in favor of leaning against a large pile of hay stacks and people watching, not surprised that he remained upright and stoic instead of joining you. “I’m really thankful you decided to help me this year even though you’d miss band practice.”

His head snapped over to you in shock and you laughed at the slightly panicked expression, shrugging your shoulders and picking at some of the loose straws of hay underneath you.

“Jungwon wasn’t exactly subtle but I’m grateful nonetheless.” You were standing back up at that and wiping the back of your pants to get the dust off of the fabric, looking back up at him and slightly squinting your eyes against the sun. “You’re a good friend.”

He was scratching the back of his neck and shifting his foot again awkwardly at the compliment but you were glad to see him nod in light acceptance.

“Wanna get some hot chocolate?”

——

A week continued on just like that with Jay arriving to your house a few hours before dinner time and the two of you riding to the field together, your voice overly filling the silence with his light hums and brief comments reassuring you that he was still actively listening.

Jay was providing more than just company, actually assisting you when it was finally time to start helping you and doing the volunteer work your other friends were so eagerly avoiding.

He was lifting heavy slates of wood without being asked twice and waiting for further instruction as you added a fresh coat of bright red paint to the apple bobbing booth. You knew you’d made the right choice with having him help (although your options were limited) and the other regular volunteers seemed to agree.

“Didn’t realize you were into strong guys.” The voice suddenly in your ear was making you jump and nearly spill your apple cider, glaring at the person joining you for the shock even though you were instinctively leaning closer to her.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You were mumbling around the styrofoam cup and she laughed mockingly at you, knowing you long enough to see through your indifference.

Cindy was twice your age but you’d gotten along from the moment you eagerly offered to volunteer, her parents being the founders of the fair in the first place which made her the rightful owner once they had passed away a few years ago.

She got on your case regarding just about everything but the tough love was a breath of fresh air considering the type of overbearing and coddling affection you were used to from your mother. It was almost your worst nightmare for her to catch you watching Jay as he helped the other male volunteers move logs and heaps of old wood away from where the mini rides would be installed.

“Honey I know heart eyes when I see them and yours are practically bursting out of your thick skull.” Her hand was reaching over to try to steal a piece of your warm pumpkin donut sat infront of you and you aggressively swatted at it with a scowl.

“He’s my friend. I’ve known him since I was like basically a baby.” You were trying to keep your tone flat and unsuspecting even though you weren’t even quite sure why you suddenly felt on trial.

You weren’t even purposefully eyeballing Jay or whatever she had called it but he just so happened to be directly in your line of sight and coincidentally he had removed his zip up at some point, most likely needing the cold chill because of all the heavy lifting he was doing with a surprise ease.

“Well he’s definitely not a baby anymore.” She made a small appreciative noise and you turned to her with your nose turned up in disgust, taking a moment to soak in her typically eccentric outfit.

Cindy was definitely one of the most interesting people in your town aesthetic wise, big chunky earrings being used as decorations in her large unkept hair and layers and layers of jarringly opposing patterns and fabrics. It somehow worked on her and you always loved the fact she looked like a little halloween trinket come to life.

“That’s disgusting, you could be his mother you know.” Your eyebrows were furrowed but she knew better than to take your annoyance serious, shrugging her shoulders and directing your attention back to the topic of the conversation with a ring covered hand.

“He watches you about as much as you watch him.” She had the same tone she always had when she felt like she was proving you wrong and in this case, she was. Jay was eyeing the two of you as you spoke but trying his best not to make it obvious, getting distracted enough to trip over a log and nearly crash into one of the bigger burlier men working.

He was far enough away that you couldn’t hear the interaction but you laughed at the glare he received and the way he threw both of his hands up in surrender, backing away and giving you a quick embarrassed glance before picking up the log he tripped over.

“Oh what a mess that boy is.” She was successfully stealing the rest of your donut and you sighed in defeat, leaning against her more and letting her signature vanilla scent hit you full force. “Doesn’t speak much does he.”

“You talked to him?” You didn’t quite understand why that peaked your interest so much but she chuckled at the eagerness in your question, nodding her head and chewing the soft donut for a few seconds before answering.

“He came over to old Betsy’s booth when she was using the restroom and I was filling in for her.” She seemed to miss the irony in her calling somebody around her age old and you didn’t dare point it out to her. “Kept eyeing the necklaces.”

You couldn’t think of a time Jay would’ve gone back to the jewelry stand without you and your eyes narrowed further.

“Well did he buy anything?”

“Don’t remember.” She hummed the words so casually but you knew better than to believe her, sitting up off her shoulder and turning your body so you could fully face her with a stern look. Your normally bubbly exterior was easier to lose than you usually preferred around your strange friend but you assumed it was because she never once minded you on your grumpiest days.

“You so totally remember.” Your finger raised accusingly and she glanced at it with a quirked eyebrow, her large red hexagon framed glasses almost blocking her amused expression. “Cindy what did he buy?”

You assumed she was going to make another excuse to not answer you directly but the universe, in all it’s twisted ways, actually offered a real one in the form of one of the senior volunteers calling for her attention and waving at you before urgently fanning her over.

“Looks like I’m needed elsewhere.” The air of mischief surrounding her had intensified as your own lighthearted annoyance followed suit and you rolled your eyes as she glanced back out into the field. “You’ve got better company incoming anyways.”

She was gone just in time for Jay to reach the two of you and he watched her back for a few seconds as she strolled away, a silent question floating around his furrowed eyebrows as if he was worried he was the reason she’d left so suddenly.

Your friend typically had an anxious energy surrounding him but it bothered you more so right now so you cleared your throat to get his attention and smiled when he finally gave it, patting the spot Cindy had just left empty and not scooting over when he jumped into a start and walked around the table to sit next to you.

“I heard you’ve met Cindy.” You nudged him with your elbow and he titled his head to grin at you in the most genuine way you’d seen from him in all your years of companionship, eyes squinting against the sun as it slowly set with a certain lightness you quite enjoyed. You figured the hard work had made him too tired to keep his guard as high as usual and you briefly considered asking the volunteers to give him more logs to move.

“She’s a character.” He took a second to form the sentence and it came out in slow patches like he was trying to find the nicest word to describe her eccentric ways. Your mouth was opening to inform him it was okay to be offput by her before he was talking again. “She reminds me of you actually.”

That shut you up and you felt a sudden unnecessary guilt for not immediately knowing if he was complimenting you or doing the opposite.

You hadn’t even noticed you were leaning against him again until he stiffened up at your unusual reaction, an apologetic look on his face making you feel even worse. It was beginning to frustrate you that you couldn’t stop embarrassing yourself in front of him, the ability beyond foreign and not something you’d ever even considered before.

His hand was cold when you reached out to place yours over it, not exactly holding but just letting your palm rest on top of his knuckles.

“I’m glad actually. I think she’s probably the most interesting person on earth.” You were watching his reaction to both your statement and the touch before forfeiting first and looking past him in the direction she’d gone.

“I doubt that.” He sounded strangely heavy and it was a tone unlike any you’d heard from him, immediately bringing your gaze back to his face in an attempt to decipher it.

Jay remained as stoic as he usually was and you were suddenly glad for the lowered sun, hoping the lack of lighting in the field managed to hide the light dusting of your cheeks.

——

It was almost refreshing to be back in the basement with the rest of your friends, not having any type of embarrassment in the pit of your stomach since Jay currently wasn’t here and for the first time in two weeks you weren’t having to overthink why you were feeling so weird.

Even though the other boys were trying their best to make you as awkward as possible, all staring at you with questioning eyes after Jungwon asked how it’d been volunteering this year.

“It’s fine.” You knew as soon as you gave a vauge answer that they were going to get suspicious, your eyes slowly closing in regret as they got an excited buzz to them and immediately hounded in on you like a pack of dogs (or over enthusiastic kittens).

“This is the first time since we were preteens you’ve talked about the fair and not went on for hours.” Even Sunghoon was being unusually perceptive and leaning forward on the edge of his arm chair.

“Can you guys not be super annoying about this?” You winced as you said it, already prepared for how rowdy they’d get at the admittance that there was something to be annoying about in the first place.

Not even Heeseung was exempt from the almost childlike giddiness they all had now and you rolled your eyes at the way they were all smacking eachother and overlapping sentences of ‘I told you so’ adjacent statements.

Luckily you were saved by the sound of Heeseung’s mom calling your name from the top of the stairs, shouting it a few times to try and outmatch the volume of all the boys talking at once. You managed to hear her exasperated tone beneath it and you left them to their theatrics without another word, finding her standing in the kitchen with the phone in her hand and an impatient look on her face.

You glanced at her apologetic before taking the phone from her and waiting until she was back at the table doing her crosswords before you actually put it up to your ear.

“Hello?” You knew it wasn’t likely to be your own mother calling about your whereabouts considering she ever rarely actually did, trusting you and knowing you were an adult who didn’t need checking in when you were usually only ever at a handful of places.

“Y/N?” Jays voice coming through the speaker was enough to make your stomach form a tight knot, not even fully processing the breathy and shaky way he was speaking before understanding something was wrong.

“Where are you?” You weren’t sure why it was the first thing you thought to ask him and he took a few painful seconds to even answer, your hand tugging at the chord connected to the wall anxiously as you waiting for his voice to come back and let you know he was still on the other end.

He was hushed when he muttered the address too and you felt little to no guilt about rushing out of the house without saying goodbye to the boys, formality and patience totally fleeing your mind as you picked up your bike off the side of the house and took off down Heeseung’s long smooth drive away.

Your thighs were burning as you made your way across town to the rundown area Jay had given an address for, heart racing in a similar pace to the buzzing in your ears that had started as soon as you were hanging up the phone.

The sun was setting now and you knew it was only a matter of time before your mother started to wonder why you were gone far past dinner but you couldn’t even begin to think about that or your friends realizing you weren’t coming back down or Cindy checking her jeweled watch when you didn’t show up for your usual hot donut before volunteering.

Nothing else was currently even a drop more important than Jay and the way he rushed out the address, one you didn’t even need an explanation for to understand what it was. The hesitance in the delivery told you exactly where you were heading and that was only part of the reason you felt sick as you rounded the corner sharply into the barren seeming neighborhood.

The houses with boarded windows and bright red ripped notices on the doors would’ve led you to assume the place was abandoned if it wasn’t for the mass of bright lights coming from the house on the end of the street.

You forfeited your bike in the middle of the road in exchange for running and you skidded to a stop when you realized you’d managed to completely sprint past Jay, not noticing him considering the way he was practically hunched in on himself and missing his usual stoic expression as he stood under a large overgrown tree.

Instead his face was an eerie combination of absent and horrified, gaze meeting your wide eyes but leaving you with the terrible feeling he was looking straight through you.

“What happened?” Your voice seemed to echo and his face was red and blue from the lights behind your tensed shoulders, your hands being painted with the same shades when you were reaching up to cup his cold cheeks.

He had the scarf you’d made for him around his neck and your heart ached at the idea he might’ve been on his way to meet up with you before whatever had occurred did. Your thumb brushed over its bumpy fabric when it smoothed over his skin and he practically leaned into it despite your friend’s usual disinterest towards physical touch.

“Can we go somewhere else?” It took you a few breaths to even realize he’d been the one to speak and you nodded instinctively, staying frozen even when he stood up and by default placed himself directly infront of you.

Your boot bumped against his shoe when you went to take a step back and he quickly looked away from the house and continuously flashing sirens.

You were wondering if it was a good idea to leave or if he still was needed by the officers scattered throughout the yard and near the patrol cars, sparing them a glance over your shoulder as you started to follow him. You didn’t meet any of their eyes enough to understand what you should do but there was no way you were going to leave Jay alone so you sighed and followed after him.

He was leading you around the back of the house where you could see a tilted garage and a bunch of shrubbery, almost enough to be completely hiding the car underneath it all.

Jay didn’t look at you once as he started to pull twigs and piles of bushes off the hood and windshield, failing to realize the way you were hugging yourself now to fend off the cold and anxiously peering back around the side of the house as you waited for somebody to come and try to stop you from leaving. Nobody came and eventually he was stopping to take a harsh breath before opening the door and looking at you expectantly.

Despite your nerves, you still followed suit and climbed into the old car. The air was stuffy and you could almost taste how long it’d been since it was put to any use especially obvious with all of the dust lining the dashboard and creating a fine film over the cup holders and stick shift that Jay was wrapping his hand around without a second thought.

“I didn’t know you had a car.” Your voice was filling the car only after you’d been driving in silence for a good fifteen minutes, leaving the town limit a few blocks ago and entering a long stretch of road you’d never been down before.

It was true considering there had been over a few dozen times everybody had complained about the lack of cars in the group, instances where you’d had to cancel plans because it just wasn’t manageable with your bikes. Even Heeseung didn’t have a license even though his mom was always telling him he’d have access to the family van sitting in the garage if he just took the road test.

You didn’t miss the fact that there was a lot you didn’t know about Jay, clearly more than you even realized considering how confused you were tonight by all the missing pieces.

“It was my dad’s.” He was finally glancing over at you but his tone of voice let you know this wasn’t something he wanted to talk about further, nodding your head in understanding and watching him as the trees grew larger around you and the road twisted and turned.

“Are you feeling okay?” You didn’t really know what to ask him considering how little you knew about the situation but he was still nodding slowly and it looked genuine from what you could tell.

You decided it was best to just stay silence so you didn’t accidentally say the wrong thing and Jay took a deep breath before doing the same thing, neither one of you speaking for the next thirty minutes as he drove and stared ahead at the road.

You opted for looking out the window at the large stretches of land and water, roads now slick and shiny with the rain that had been falling during your drive and making the night even more gloomy than it already was. You hoped your mom had seen the weather and assumed you were staying with a friend tonight instead of riding your bike home, your stomach turning a bit at the idea of her calling around to try to make sure you were safe.

Heeseung or one of the other boys knew to cover for you if she called his phone, repeating the practiced line that you had fallen asleep on the couch and forgotten to check in with her beforehand.

But then the worry would land with them and that thought made you frown too.

You weren’t yet regretting following Jay but you hoped you’d get to where you were going soon, suddenly wondering if he even had a destination in mind or if he was just going to keep driving forever and ever.

It didn’t take long to get your answer considering he was pulling into an empty parking lot sitting above a small hill that led down to what you assumed was a dark beach, a cold chill from the water filling the car once he turned it off and the low rattle of the engine disappeared.

He was just sitting there in the drivers seat with a faraway look on his face, picking mindlessly on the callouses covering his hands like he always did.

You were suddenly remembering what was the cause of the lump in your coat pocket, sitting up a bit and reaching your hand inside until it wrapped around the soft fabric you’d been molding for the past two weeks.

Jay was already watching you curiously and his eyes flickered up to yours when he realized what he was you were now holding and presenting out to him across the center console, a hopeful look on your face as you nudged it in his direction.

“You made these?” His question had an obvious answer but you had a feeling he just wanted to hear you say it.

“They match your scarf.” You shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal even though you’d gone through an entire roll of fluffy yarn to make the small pair of gloves, messing up the instructions from your old crocheting book numerous times before you finally got them to a functional point.

Your heart was filling with pride when he was pulling them on and flexing his finger inside, seemingly fitting thankfully considering all you had to go off of for sizing was the amount of time you’ve stared at his hands playing guitar.

“They’re perfect.” He looked so sincere and thankful that it threw you for a few seconds, your eyes widening as you nodded your head and smiled at him shyly. “Thank you seriously.”

“It’s no problem. Did you want to get out?” The intensity suddenly filling the air was making your cheeks flush and you wanted nothing more than to be out of the old car, even if it met facing the cold chill waiting for you outside.

He seemed like he was considering it for a few seconds before he was opening his door and stepping out, making his way over to your side before you could process how fast he left and you faltered when he was opening your door for you.

Thankfully he didn’t seem to take your delayed reaction to heart and you were scrambling out before another awkward second passed by, feeling even more grateful when he was unexpectedly bending his arm and letting you wrap your hands around it like you would at the fair.

It brought a level of comfort to you that you hadn’t begun to understand fully but you welcomed it all the same, walking closely to him as you left the parking lot and the hard concrete under your feet turned into wet feeling sand that slowed your pace down automatically.

The beach was fogged over from the cold weather and you could barely see the water due to the darkness now completely surrounding you, relying solely on the sound of the waves crashing against the shore to let you know you were getting too close.

You and Jay walked in silence like that for a few minutes, alongside the water but far enough that it was only barely touching the sides of your boots whenever the waves rolled over and spread out into the sand.

He was eventually pausing in his stride and you glanced at the side of his face expectantly, seeing that same blank look he had when sitting in the car and feeling your heart tighten with the urge to help him any way you could. You weren’t even sure where to begin but it felt right to slowly sit down onto the sand, holding his arm loose enough that he could feel you moving before you tugged him down too.

You smiled a bit when he sat quickly beside you and you warmed even though the floor was cold and damp underneath you.

You decided to keep holding onto his arm even though you weren’t walking anymore and that left you practically hugging his side while you sat facing him with his own gaze towards the water, your legs pressed up against his and his glove covered hands crossed over his stomach cautiously.

There’d been dozen of instances where you had to sit in close proximity to Jay but never once had you experienced one where you were having to silently tell your heart to calm itself incase he could feel it beating out of control.

“Are you alright?” You couldn’t physically take the silence in the air anymore and he looked at you as you spoke.

His gaze was heavy but as kind as it always was when situated on, a tiredness to him that you weren’t used to seeing. You squeezed his arm and they softened even further while his head tilt to the side at your affectionate gesture.

“I’m sorry I took you all the way out here. I wasn’t really sure where else to go so I just drove.” He was quiet as he spoke and you almost didn’t hear him over the crashing waves.

You suddenly felt a twinge of guilt for being so skeptical about following him into the car and allowing him to leave the limits of your town.

“I don’t mind, it’s a beautiful place.” You heard the irony of the statement at the same time amusement passed over his face, both of you knowing it was far too dark for you to visually appreciate the beach. “It’s cool you can drive.”

He actually did laugh at that, a light one closer resembling a scoff but it seemed genuine nonetheless. You didn’t expect an explanation for him keeping his ability a secret and he didn’t offer one.

You fell into another lapse of silence but you found more comfort than awkwardness in this one, enjoying the closeness of the moment and trying to put yourself into his mind for a second.

Jay was all you could see with how low the light was, just the side view of his face that you’d been accustomed to for such a large part of your life that it was almost odd to be feeling so overwhelmed by the sight of him. It definitely wasn’t the time to be trying to understand why you had been feeling so off kilter around him these days but you knew the clock was clicking for you to figure it out.

His jaw was tense like it got whenever the boys got too rowdy in public or the times in high school when people would whisper in the halls as your small group passed.

It wasn’t a secret that Jay had a certain protective nature surrounding him but your silent friend had never looked as bothered as he did right now.

You were wrestling with yourself in your own mind and trying to shake the idea that he was possibly uncomfortable with your sudden clinginess. You had a reminder on a constant loop that he was the one who initiated the small contact almost everytime and his cheeks flushed red almost as much as yours did whenever you squeezed his arm in yours.

“My mom got arrested.” His voice was cutting off your rampant irrelevant thoughts and your mouth parted slightly in surprise from the sudden admission, immediately snapping shut when you noticed him watching you from the side of eye.

“Jay.” You went to speak words of comfort but his lips pursed and his eyes shut for a second like he was pained so you swallowed your sentence and waited for him.

“It’s not a big deal and it’s not the first time or the last.” He was beginning to rush through the words like he didn’t think he could manage to get them all out and you watched him carefully, forgetting the cold weather and the wetness coating the fabric of your pants. “I called you because I knew seeing you would make me feel better but I don’t really need to talk about it or anything.”

“Then we don’t have to talk about it.” Your voice was firmer than usual and his shoulders relaxed.

You weren’t even thinking when your hand was reaching up to touch his face, turning his head towards your direction so he didn’t really have a choice but to look at you.

Your hands were undoubtedly freezing against his skin but you still took the opportunity to absentmindedly rub your thumb against his cheek and jaw, observing the way he almost melted into the touch with something close to pain in his expression.

This was nothing like the arm holding or the hands brushing when you passed him a paintbrush, crossing over the line of things you could fit in the category of your newly developed friendship without the connection of the group. This was something else entirely and you chose not to place it anywhere for now, letting it exist here on the beach without the weight in your chest following along.

“Did it make you feel better?” Your voice was almost a whisper but you had no doubt he heard you considering how close your faces had gotten now that you made him look at you fully. “Seeing me?”

You knew the answer already when you asked it but you still weren’t prepared for the way he softly nodded while leaning into your touch further, eyes big and puppy like in direct contrast to his usual stern and more feline gaze. Vulnerability had completely taken over his typical stoic attitude and you felt a surge of pride for getting to see him like this.

Jay had been consuming your thoughts since you started hanging out one on one and it felt far too important of a moment to let pass you by.

You barely had to shift yourself forward to be able to kiss him but the slightest sign of you moving spurred him to close the gap instead, pushing his lips against yours and taking you by surprise.

The beach was almost quieter as the two of you kissed softly, the waves sounding like they were further away since all you could focus on was the warmth radiating off of him. You were flushed from how delicate he was with you and how it lacked any real heat considering it was much more of a romantic kiss than you both trying to turn the other on.

He kept his eyes closed when you pulled away from eachother and you rested your forehead against his, watching his expressions closely and not wanting to lean back incase the lack of touch made him reconsider what had happened.

You’d be stupid to not understand Jay had always had a soft spot for you but just because the boys teased him about it didn’t mean he actually felt like you were somebody special. He was a gentleman in all aspects of his interactions so you weren’t certain enough to bet on the fact he had any type of feelings for you that would make him see this kiss the way you did.

“Please don’t regret this tomorrow.” He said it in one quick whisper and your heart twisted at the same time your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“I won’t, of course I won’t.” You hoped your voice was firm enough to make him believe you but you could tell by the look on his face that he was still skeptical.

You didn’t know how else to prove it to him besides kissing him again so that’s exactly what you did, hands cupping his face and pulling him into you much more passionately than you had the first time. This go around there was a lot more movement and a soft noise escaped you when you felt his gloved hand on your knee.

It was hard to connect the fact the Jay you were kissing was the same Jay you’ve known almost your entire life. He was the same boy who used to scowl on the swings at the playground and silently pay for your snacks at lunch or hold the door for you when entering Heeseung’s house.

You were almost reverting back through all your platonic memories with him as you kissed and seeing him in a different light than you had before.

This time when you stopped kissing you fully leaned into him until you were practically hugging without having your arms around each other, the sudden longing to just feel him close overwhelming you as you tried to pretend it was simply because of the cold and not because he opened up apart of himself to you tonight and that seemed to be the final piece you needed to understand how you felt.

“We should go, you’re going to catch a cold.” He was speaking again in a far away voice and you would’ve declined and asked for just a few more minutes but he was already standing up.

You suddenly felt the most distant you had in a long time from him and your throat was tightened even when he offered his arm in your direction, the action coming across more robotic now than him actually reaching out for you.

It was hard to not overthink considering he was driving you both home in silence, the hills and forest of the town coming into sight as you left behind the empty stretches of road and sky above the ocean.

For once you found yourself looking out the window with longing as you passed the welcome sign back into where you’d grown up, finally slightly understanding why most people had a hard time coming home after being somewhere else for a change.

You didn’t stop thinking about the beach or the road leading even further away until he was pulling into your driveway, the car making a funny scraping sound as it pushed itself up the slight incline.

Jay sighed softly, the first noise he’d made in a long time that wasn’t covered by the radio commercials and the heat running on high with that loud rattling noise, shutting the car off completely as you both sat there in silence.

“Are you able to go home? If you need somewhere to stay I’m sure my mom wouldn’t mind as long as you stayed on the couch.” You were speaking swiftly with your eyes slightly widened and he smiled at you gently even if it didn’t quite seem genuine.

“I’m alright, I’ll figure it out.” His tone held a stubborn finality that you didn’t bother trying to question again even though it hurt your heart to think about him searching for a place to stay.

You almost begged him to just come in and warm up for a bit, maybe use your phone to call some of the boys and ask them if he could go there before he just started to drive around in circles but you decided against it.

Instead you leaned far enough that the middle console was pressing against your stomach and you kissed him softly on his cheek, rubbing the clumpy fabric of his scarf before sitting back in your seat and smiling shakily as you tugged the door open and stepped back out into the cold.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Your head cocked so he understood it was a question you wanted answered and he took a few moments before he was nodding his head and starting the car again, lifting his hand off the steering wheel for a brief second in a wave as you closed the door.

——

Jay didn’t show up the next day but you still stood at the end of your driveway with your bike in your hands for twenty minutes, shifting from the cold and slight embarrassment even though nobody was around to see you left hanging.

You filled your mind with the calming thought that he was just busy and he’d show up any minute panting from rushing over here, or maybe he’d even bring his new car and you wouldn’t have to ride your bikes in the cold anymore.

You’d have a good day setting up the fair and you wouldn’t have any awkward silences about the kiss, infact maybe you’d even kiss again when he dropped you back off at home later.

The thoughts and daydreams only entertained you until half an hour had passed and now you’d officially be late so you had no choice but to flip up your kick stand with your foot and mount your bike with a deep frown.

Even then you still felt guilty about leaving incase Jay showed up late at your house and found out you had left without him.

The rational part of you knew that wasn’t going to happen and if anything he could come to the fair and just meet you there but you could tell from the first hour that he wasn’t going to and he wasn’t anywhere waiting for you to come back. He simply hadn’t shown up and you were beyond stupid for thinking otherwise all morning.

It actually hadn’t even crossed your mind that he wasn’t going to show up.

You ran through the possible scenarios, coped with the inevitable tension in the air and the chance of an extremely awkward conversation where you had to confess your newfound feelings for him.

You’d even practiced over how you were going to say it all morning as you got dressed down to the last word but not once did you think he would simply leave you there alone like a completely fool.

Jay was a lot of things, he was reserved and shut off and maybe a little bit blunt at times but he was certainly never cruel and especially not to you. Your friends seemed to agree considering how appalled they were when you stomped down the steps with wet leaves wrapped around your boots and frowned as you explained what had happened.

“Wait you kissed? You like Jay?” Heeseung seemed utterly confused and you couldn’t tell if he was playing up the surprise or if he genuinely wasn’t paying attention to the obvious signs.

“Dude have you even been here? That’s not the problem, what do you mean he didn’t show up?” Sunghoon was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands cupping his face in distress.

“I shouldn’t have kissed him without asking how he felt about me first.” You ignored his question and shook your head as you slouched back into the couch, more upset with your self now than anything else.

All the boys looked around at each other in shock and the air got heavy again like it always seemed to whenever the topic of you and Jay came up. Your eyebrows furrowed into a glare and you settled it onto Jungwon who looked the most guilty, hoping he’d spill whatever it was that they weren’t saying to you.

“Jay is totally into you.” He was letting it out in one breath of air and the other boys collectively rolled their eyes and swatted at your friend. “He has been forever and we all totally make his life hell because of it.”

“Why on earth would you guys do that?” You were practically yelling now even though it was hard to stay mad at them when they all looked so guilty. “Just a few weeks ago you were trying to get me to ask out Jake Sim.”

“We were trying to get him to finally grow a pair and make a move.” Heeseung made you groan at the crude wording but despite your annoyance you actually understood the ways they were trying to help especially since it had actually worked up until you screwed it up by kissing him.

You relayed this thought to them and they looked just as stricken by the fact Jay had not followed up after your kiss as they did the first time you said it.

They did their best to cheer you up with covers of your favorites songs and less argument filled board game rounds but you couldn’t stop the hole in your heart from deepening everytime you thought about it. Your anger towards yourself slowly transferred to him instead as the night went on but even that felt wrong.

Opening night of the fair was finally happening tomorrow and you could barely feel the usual excitement, even when all the boys told you they would be coming to keep you company.

You gave them a soft smile before bidding them goodnight and you truly did appreciate what they were trying to do but it wasn’t the outcome you wanted.

That still didn’t stop you from waking up early the next morning and getting yourself ready, pinning your stray hairs back with cheap pumpkin decorated pins you’d had for a decade and pulling on the new pair of gloves you made (finished off with much neater edges than Jays had been).

The others were going to arrive any moment to accompany you so you sat on the couch finishing your hot chocolate and tapping your feet against the carpet with anticipation, doing all you could to ignore the pit in your stomach so you could still have fun and appreciate all the hard work you and the other volunteers had contributed.

Rough honking from outside made your head pick up expectantly and you set your mug on the coffee table before rushing to the window and smiling brightly when you saw all of your friends waving from inside an old car you didn’t recognize.

It wasn’t until you opened the door that you caught sight of the driver and you faltered a bit, long enough that he had stepped out onto your driveway and waved at you with a sheepish expression.

“Hey Y/N, hope it’s okay that I tag along.” Jake Sim was standing infront of your house and he apparently was one of the few people your age in town that owned a car and even worse, your friends were giving you encouraging looks behind his back.

Heeseung lost his thumbs up when you glared at him through the windshield but you made sure to smile at Jake reassuringly.

“Of course it’s okay Jake, it’s good to see you.” You tugged open the passenger seat door and tugged at Heeseung’s hoodie until he was groaning and unbuckling, squeezing into the backseat with the others and allowing you to be in the front.

You let the boys talk loudly and play their music while you sat in silence during the short drive to the field where the fair was being held, finding it harder to ignore the fact somebody was missing when all you could think about what your drive back from the beach.

Jake quietly humming wasn’t enough for you to forget how Jay kept a tight grip on the steering wheel or shifted in his seat at a red light.

The comparison of the two definitely wasn’t fair especially since you were almost positive your friends had begged Jake to give you all a ride under some faux promise that you would find it kind enough to give him a shot. He was always nice to you in school and definitely wasn’t trying anything sleazy now, instead arguing with Jungwon about the speed limits and his backseat driving.

Your heart warmed the second you were approaching the field and you could see the Ferris wheel peaking over the trees, car slowing down to allow the groups of people and large families to cross the street in front of you.

The turn out was probably the biggest you’d seen yet and even your friends were making noises of excitement as they peered out the windows and took in the rows of games and smaller kiddy rides.

“Woah this is awesome.” Jake sounded genuinely amazed from beside you and you glanced back over your shoulder to smile at him. “You guys did a great job.”

You knew he must’ve been referring to the larger group of people who volunteered but you still couldn’t help but think of all the work Jay helped do and how much he contributed this year.

“Thank you Jake.”

——

It was almost like a homecoming as you walked across the field and let the mud build up under your boots, a caramel apple in hand and the other wrapped around Heeseung as he laughed and tried his best to win your group another stuffed animal despite the fact the three boys behind you were holding two each.

“Holy shit.” You couldn’t help but be impressed when he knocked all the pins down again even though you quickly covered your mouth apologetically when the mother of a child near you sent you a sharp glare.

“Here you go madam.” He’d put on a funny proper voice as he handed you the small pink stuffed lamb and you mockingly curtsied at him as he squinted his eyes against the sun and surveyed the area. “Alright going to go attempt to brave the portapotties, wish me luck.”

“Hold your breath.” Jungwon was quick to chirp behind you and you groaned at the imagery, pulling your arm out of Heeseung’s so he could half jog over to the bathrooms and feeling a slight chill run over you at the loss of body heat.

Somebody was clearing their throat from beside you and your eyes widened a bit as you turned to see Jake standing there now, a sheepish expression on his face with his elbow angled at you invitingly. He must’ve picked up on your walking habit by now and you smiled bashfully at him before accepting his arm.

“Are you having a good time?” You started walking together as you spoke quietly, your two friends behind you talking loudly in weird voices as if they were making their animal prizes communicate.

“It’s beautiful.” He actually sounded like he meant it, tone a little breathy as he turned his gaze to the Ferris wheel and nodded appreciably. “I understand why you love it so much.”

You were actually enjoying his company despite the ache in your chest and you were glad he got to tag along with all of you, hoping you’d get the chance to see him with the boys more often including the one you were missing the most right now.

It’d been a few hours into the fair and you knew Jay could come another day by himself if he really wanted to but the thought of him missing opening day and feeling how special it was hit you harder than you wished it would and you were almost antsy for your friends to leave so you could go and mope to Cindy and ask her for some advice.

“Look who I ran into.” Heeseung sounded excited from behind you as he returned from the bathrooms and your eyebrows raised curiously, turning in unison with Jake.

Your mouth dropped open a bit when you saw Jay standing there awkwardly, hands in his pockets and a torn expression on his face that turned into one of confusion when he realized you were linking arms with Jake Sim. He didn’t say anything and neither did the others boys, not at all matching Heeseung’s enthusiasm and instead sending you glances like they weren’t sure what reaction was appropriate.

To make matters worse, Jake clearly wasn’t reading the energy and instead was nudging your side affectionately and giving Jay a wide smile.

“And you thought he wasn’t going to show up.” He didn’t know the history behind the two of you or anything that had happened so you couldn’t really fault him for his embarrassing comment, realizing now he must’ve caught wind of some of the things the boys had said about you not expecting Jay.

The comment was enough to break the tension in the air for something much worse and you watched the boy in question purse his lips and nod his head in bitter understanding, pulling a hand out of his pocket to rub the back of his neck.

“Well this was nice but I’ve gotta go.” He didn’t wait for anybody to say any words of parting and instead he was turning on his heels and leaving.

You scoffed and removed your arm from Jakes gently, stomping away from them to follow behind Jay and trying to ignore the clueless boys confused questioning to your friends about what he had said wrong.

“You’re just going to leave?” You waited until you were closer to the barns to speak even though you were pretty sure he knew you’d been following him. “You don’t have anything you feel like you want to say to me?”

He looked surprisingly calm when he turned around to face you but your anger didn’t settle much even when you saw the hurt and lost expression he had, staring down at you and all of your fury like he thought he deserved it.

“What is there for me to say?” His voice was low and you frowned again at how defeated he seemed, how easy it was for him to end the conversation even though you felt like there was a thousand things being left unsaid. “I don’t want to interrupt your time with Jake.”

You let out a noise that was close to a laugh but without any sign of amusement, anger taking over any type of sadness or confusion you felt about the situation. He wasn’t saying it like he was at all angry at you for being around Jake but that almost made you more upset, seeing how simple it seemed for him to just walk away with no explanation.

“By my time with Jake do you mean the time I’m spending waiting for you to show up knowing you wouldn’t?” Your voice cracked a little as you took a step closer to him. “And when you finally do you’re just going to leave? I mean did the night on the beach just mean nothing to you?”

“The night on the beach?” He was now starting to show a little emotion outside of the almost cowardly demeanor he’d had, his eyebrows furrowing as he stared down at you now that you were closer. “The night you pity kissed me?”

It was almost hard to believe he’d say something like that and even harder to comprehend that he genuinely meant it, he wasn’t attempting to hurt you or being unnecessarily cruel like most people would but instead he actually was going off the notion you’d kissed him out of sympathy.

“How could you think that way?” You tried to soften your tone but you were just so upset about everything and even more so now that the fairs opening day was passing you by and going so poorly.

Jay was just looking at you and you were almost worried he was going to start crying, the pained look not going away even when you were closing the gaps between the two of you and bringing your hand up to his cheek. He leaned into it when your thumb rubbed against his skin again but he didn’t answer your question.

You could feel his hand on your lower back like he was afraid you’d back away prematurely but you had no plans to go anywhere despite being upset with him, you could see how hurt and confused he was and that trumped your own feelings that could be dealt with afterwards.

He had been a constant in your life for as long as you could understand the notion of having a friend but you felt like you were just now seeing him for the first time ever and you were almost embarrassed that you didn’t know how to help him especially since he always seemed to know what to say to you when you were upset.

“You have no idea what you are to me.” He’d lost the helplessness in his voice now that you were touching him and the pained tone was more stemming from your closeness than anything else.

There was nothing you could say to that that would properly convey how you felt about the hushed reassured confession so instead you kissed him.

He was immediate in the way he put his other hand on your back too and pulled you closer to him, turning your head and relishing in how different it felt to kiss him standing up.

Jay made a low noise when your hands moved from his face to his hair and you wanted nothing more than to pull another from him, your tongue swiping across his bottom lip seemingly doing the trick as you felt his hands squeeze your waist instinctively.

You pulled away from the kiss to try and breathe but he was immediately following after your lips and connecting them again which made you decide you didn’t at all mind continuing even if it meant replacing air with the feeling of him against you.

You didn’t even realize you were moving until your feet with tripping over his and your back was hitting what you assumed was the barn, a small laugh leaving your lips even though it was muffled by his moving against you feverishly. Jay was kissing you like he’d never get to do it again but by now you’d caught on to the fact he’d thought about this alot longer than you had.

His hand was leaving your back to stop at your knee, pulling it to the side easily so he could slot his own in between yours and press impossibly closer.

“God you’re everything.” He was breathing heavily as he spoke and you whined a bit at how low his voice had gotten, sounding similar to how it did when he’d get focused on one of their songs or scold the boys for messing around too much.

“Can you stay with me here?” Your own came out surprisingly squeakish and you flushed in embarrassment.

He was nodding softly and your hand left his hair to sit on the back of his neck for a second before you were kissing him one more time quickly, smiling a little when he took a step back after and grabbed your free hand so you’d stumble forward with him.

“I’m sorry I was late.” He said it so casually like you were just two regular people going out and he was a little tardy for a date but you figured you could talk about how the situation hurt you later and try to enjoy the rest of the day.

You were leading him back towards your friends but dropping his hand as you approached, not fully sure you wanted to deal with their teasing and quick comments. Jay was easily understanding what you were implying and he fell back into his silent nature, giving them quick head nods when they expressed excitement over him joining you.

It was beginning to look just like your regular hangouts until you all agreed to head towards the ferris wheel and suddenly Jake was turning towards you with a shy smile and his arm bent in your direction.

You couldn’t fault him for assuming you’d want to continue linking arms now that you were back but your heart clenched for a second knowing who was standing right behind you.

Jay was such a quiet and stoic person that you didn’t necessarily think he’d sit there throwing glares at any guy who tried to speak to you but you were either extremely wrong or the energy of the day had gotten to him because you could feel his arm snaking around your waist just as you turned to see the annoyed expression he had and the harsh way he was watching Jake.

All discreetness was thrown out the window at that and you watched the boy across from you purse his lips in bitter understanding before slowly pulling his arm back against his side.

“Don’t be rude.” You were whispering the scolding words in Jay’s ear but leaning against his side so he knew you were okay with the show of affection even if it had started as possessiveness.

He didn’t say anything in his typical fashion and you tried to ignore how giddy the thought of him being jealous made you. You stayed close to him as you waited in line, listening to your friends joke around as you felt his hand squeezing your side impatiently every few minutes.

It was a no brainer that you’d be sitting next to him when an empty carts started to make their way around the wheel and you smiled softly at Heeseung and Jungwon fighting over who got to sit with Jake, pushing them slightly when the working attendant started to look extra impatient.

Jay glanced at you from the side of his eye before putting a hand forward to signal you to get on first, following behind as you scooted across the metal bench and watched him close the door tightly.

“Are you scared of heights?” Your voice was teasing as you leaned against his side to looked closely at the nervous look on his face. He glared at you lightheartedly and when his eyes didn’t leave your face for a few seconds you realized he was going to kiss you right as he did.

His big hand was cupping your cheek to pull you in closer and the feeling of him moving against you was enough to override the embarrassment of kissing before the ride had even moved you out of view from the crowd.

You practically kissed the entire time your cart slightly jerked forward to allow new people onto the ones under you, slowly lifting you higher and higher as your heart raced.

Kissing Jay was a completely foreign feeling but you felt like you couldn’t stop now that you knew what it was like, finding the low noises your friend made absolutely addicting to the point they were overriding your system and everything you’ve ever thought about him. You never once considered what he would feel like this close to you or how he’d look when you pulled apart to breathe, dark eyes low and hazy and his lip reddening.

“Is this what you expected when you offered to help me paint stables?” You were grinning as you spoke and he brushed some of your hair behind your ear.

“Not necessarily but a guy can dream.” He surprised you by joking back and the ride jolted alive suddenly, both of you lurching forward for a second before dissolving in a fit of laughter.

From the top of the ferris wheel you could not only see the fair and all of the work you’d put into it but you could see a large part of your small town, the gravel roads you struggled with your bike on everyday to Heeseung’s and the railroad tracks that led to the side of town you’d found Jay on the night he called you.

Off in the distance you could even make out the long stretch of road where the trees broke away and the sea inevitably began.

Jay was softly calling for your attention once your cart stopped at the very top of the ride, your hair blowing in the light wind as you turned to face him. The sun had nearly set now and he looked particularly handsome when he was lit up by the lights adorning the metal beams under you, that nervous look returning as he shifted his body to face you.

He almost looked as if he was planning to tell you something, maybe even make a speech of some sort but instead he was closing his mouth and reaching into his coat pocket to pass you a small box.

You took it from his glove covered hands and glanced up at him with wide eyes, already having a relatively good idea about what was inside the box. He raised an eyebrow at you as a way to urge you opening it and you quickly untied the soft ribbon keeping it closed, both of you keeping quiet like you were scared to ruin the moment.

Inside, surrounded by shredded wrapping paper to keep it safe, was a beautiful handmade necklace with a golden seashell at the end of the thin chain. You knew right away who had made the piece of jewelry and your eyes filled up with tears as you looked at him.

“Sorry I’m not as crafty as you but I figured I knew somebody who was.” He was trying to joke around to soften the heavy atmosphere but you could see the hesitation on his face as he waited for you to say something. “It’s the right one right? You kept looking at it the first day you brought me here.”

“It’s perfect.” Your voice was breathy and it came out as one word but you knew he understood, his shoulders losing some tension as he shifted closer to you and took the necklace from your shaky hands.

You sniffed a little bit and turned around so you could lift your hair and assist him in putting the necklace on you, getting a full view of the town around you as you did so and barely even noticing the fact the ferris wheel was beginning to move again.

All you could focus on was his cold hands on your neck and the weight of the seashell as it softly fell down in the middle of your collarbones, your heart thumping so hard you worried it woukd shift it from its place.

His apprehension was still obvious when you turned back around to show him how it looked on you but his eyes lit up at the sight of it, meeting your gaze just in time for you to lean in and kiss him again.

[traveler-at-heart]

Stuck Together - Part 4

Summary: After Westview, Wanda and her children go into hiding. She's not happy with the person in charge of protecting them.

Wanda Maximoff x F! Super Soldier R

“Glad to see you’re getting along” Maria says with a smirk.

“Don’t” you warn her.

The timing couldn’t be worse.

Honestly, the last thing you expected was to end up kissing Wanda in the middle of nowhere. And now that Maria interrupted, you know it’s bound to get awkward.

Sure enough, Wanda is avoiding your eyes.

“Can we talk inside?” Hill says and you turn to look at the Sokovian, allowing her to make the call. She nods, turning to open the door.

“Have you been compromised?” Maria asks in a low voice.

“Huh?” you play dumb.

“You know what I mean. If you can’t be objective…”

“Stop. It was nothing”

“Mhm” she nods, the way Fury would. She truly is his right hand.

Wanda comes back from the bedroom, closing the door. You pull out a chair for her, and lean against the small kitchen counter, waiting for Maria to talk.

“We were worried. You moved houses”

“Position was compromised”

“By?”

“Agatha Harkness” Wanda answers. You don’t know how they know each other, what was she doing after them, but considering she almost killed you, knowing the rest of the story isn’t at the top of your list.

She’s gone, and that’s enough.

“I see” Maria looks between the two of you. “Anything else?”

“Such as?”

“Anything out of the ordinary” 

“Nothing I can think of” you say, but Maria is looking intently at Wanda. “Look, if you wanna know something specific, just say it. I can’t protect them from stuff I don’t know about”

“I take she doesn’t know what happened, then” Maria turns to Wanda, and the way she’s staring at her annoys you. You remember how she mentioned it was classified, which means she was hoping Wanda would tell you everything.

Perhaps even more information than what was found on a file. The fact is, you’re starting to feel used, and nothing annoys you more than being used.

“The short story is…” Wanda’s voice trembles, her accent rolling out like it always does when she gets nervous or pissed off. “I lost control and created a weird… I don’t know, reality. Some people got trapped in it as well”

“A whole town” Maria interjects.

“Well, I didn’t know I could do that. Agatha was also manipulating a lot of the things inside the hex” Wanda defends herself.

You push yourself off the kitchen counter, kneeling next to Wanda.

“Did you kill anyone?”

“No”

“Did you do any of it on purpose?”

“No, I didn’t… I was so upset”

You can guess where this is going. Wanda was gone with the snap, but Vision was killed before that. So she was thrown back into reality, without warning, without a second to mourn.

The way Yelena was. 

“What did you do to upset her?” you turn to Maria.

“Me? Nothing”

“Not you, specifically. The government”

“They didn’t let me see him” Wanda says in a small voice and it is only now that you remember how young she actually is. “He didn’t even get a proper burial. He saved the world once, you know?”

To be honest, you were never a big fan of Vision. Maybe it was the fact you were born in the 1920s and some technology just rubbed you the wrong way. But he was always one to fight alongside you. 

“See? I knew you did something”

“Ok, we’re getting a little off topic now” the agent crosses her arms.

Maria was definitely hoping you’d take her side. It’s interesting, how five years of being gone can throw people off their game so easily. They’re missing so much information, and so much context that there are blind spots everywhere.

“What’s the topic, then?” you ask, standing up and staying by Wanda’s side.

“Hayward is still on the run. We worry he might try to find you. He knows about this safe house and it isn’t that far from Westview, so…”

“We’ll move. I know a place that’s not on his radar”

“The android…”

“Vision?” you say, confused.

“No. There was… another one. Hayward built him. Used my magic to make him sentient” Wanda says, looking at her hands. 

“There’s a possibility that he comes back. And we don’t know if it’s friendly or not. Maybe Barton could help”

“I’m not on speaking terms with Barton” you cut her off. “If he’s willing to help, then he can take care of them while I go find Hayward”

“We’d rather you didn’t”

“Afraid I’m going to kill him?” you say with a smile.

“Well, yes”

“Yeah, he deserves it” you hold Maria’s stare. Yet another thing she doesn’t know about.

“That’s besides the point. FBI wants him locked up. If you kill him…”

“If they find out I killed him”

Like you haven’t done countless hits on behalf of the government, assassinations that were staged to look like perfect accidents. What’s one more? And against someone who actually deserves it.

“I don’t like where this is going” Wanda interrupts, looking up at you. You can see she’s shaken up, and that shuts you up real quick. “We’d rather stay with Y/N”

“Sleep on it” you say. “Barton knows you, he’s got kids that could play with yours. It may be safer to stay with them” 

Once again, Wanda stares at you, but you look away. Why would it be so hard for you to just drop her off at Barton’s and call it a day? Make it someone else’s problem.

But it’s not something you want to drop. If you can help, you’ll do it. 

“Sleep on it” you ask again, smiling. Wanda nods, standing up and Maria gets up. “Come on, Hill”

“You sure you’re not compromised? One pout and you were questioning your choices” she says on the way out.

“I’m sure”

“I told Fury, this could go wrong. You always had a soft spot for a beautiful woman with a sad story” she tries to joke, but you don’t laugh.

She's not exactly wrong.

In spite of everything, you trust Maria and Fury to do the right thing, though their methods can be questionable. You promise to be in contact as soon as you find a safe spot, and watch as she climbs in her motorcycle and drives away.

To your surprise, Wanda’s back in the kitchen, chewing on her thumb.

“You should get some rest”

“I don’t need to sleep on it. It would be better… I want us to stay with you. I’d feel safer”

“Ok” you nod, hiding your hands in the pockets of your jeans. You’re about to bring up the kiss when Wanda walks out of the room, wishing you goodnight.

It’s probably for the best.

—

The forest looks beautiful at break of dawn. The cool, clear night is followed by a misty morning, the first rays of sun trying to break through the heavy fog.

You didn’t sleep at all. The mention of Hayward left you restless. You know him and what he’s capable of doing. If he’s really after Wanda, better to not leave anything to luck. He won’t hurt her or her children. Not on your watch.

The bedroom is quiet, both kids glued to Wanda’s side. You kneel, admiring her sleeping figure for a moment. A strand of auburn hair covers her eyes, and you can’t resist the urge to push it back.

“Wanda” you say, hoping she won’t get scared. You almost want to laugh at the groan she lets out. “We have to move. Come on”

“Five more minutes”

“You can sleep in the car” you promise. Once she opens her eyes, Wanda looks around the room, rubbing the sleep off of them. Then, she focuses back on you, smiling.

“Hey”

“Hi, witchy”

“Don’t call me that”

You laugh at her readiness to fight, even when she just woke up. The kids stir in their sleep, and you stand up, carrying them all the way to the car, giving Wanda a chance to get cleaned up and changed.

She leaves the cabin a few minutes later, looking back.

“Food? Money?”

“I packed everything, don’t worry” you reassure her. You walk around the car to open the passenger door for her, and she can’t hide her smile when she walks past you, lingering a bit to stay close to you. You’re surprised to notice she falls asleep as soon as you start the car.

You drive for an hour, looking around for any cars following you. The road is empty, though. Still, you don’t relax until you choose a little battered road, the car swaying with each bump.

By the time you park close to a cliff, Wanda and the kids are awake.

“Where are we?” Tommy asks, and you smile at him.

“On an adventure” you wink. Opening the trunk of the car, you pull out four backpacks. They’re full of provisions, money, and in your case, weapons.

Each one takes their own bag, their plushie serving as an ID. Wanda laughs softly as she looks at the big purple axolotl, remembering how you insisted on getting it for her.

“Can we eat now?” Billy asks.

“Depends, do you get dizzy when you’re flying?”

“I’ve never flown before”

“I’d rather we save the trouble of throwing up in the small plane” you turn to Wanda. “But you decide”

“Have a small snack, kids”

You nod, pointing at the direction you have to take. It will only be five minutes until they find the aircraft. As they walk away, you turn to the car, pushing it over the cliff. It rolls down easily, and crashes against the bottom a minute later. It’s best to cover your tracks.

The kids stare in awe at the small plane, while you look for the keys under one of the wings. After opening the door, you stand by it, helping them up and waiting for Wanda to hoist her up by her waist. 

“Can you give us a little push?” you ask, referring to her magic. She nods, tendrils of red extending outside and moving the aircraft forward.

“You sure this thing will hold?” she asks and you nod, smiling at her.

“It’s just a short ride”

45 minutes at best, and you enjoy every second of it. It was one of your favorite things during missions and the team always knew you’d fly anywhere when the Quinjet was involved. Not only did you have a natural talent, but the feeling of being above everything, crossing the sky; that was very liberating for you.

It’s the perfect time to enjoy the view, too. The sun isn’t too high, and the mist is still lifting from the ground. You begin to let go of the tension of the past few days, recognising the path that will take you back to a safe space.

“Everything ok?” you turn to look at Billy and Tommy, and they nod, looking excitedly out the window, pointing at the mountains and the water of the river that glisten with the sunrays.

“You might wanna go back with them. It’s not gonna be the best landing” you warn Wanda and she goes to the backseat, casually drapping her hands around their shoulders. She wants to hold them, without raising any alarm bells about her sudden proximity. 

Truth be told, even if you are a little rusty, you touch ground almost perfectly, smiling at them when the dust settles.

“It’s going to be a bit of a walk from here, but we can take a break by the river and eat something” you say, the kids jumping out of the plane and going straight to running around the trees. “Need any help?”

“Yes, please” Wanda says, and you hold your hand out. Once she takes it, you pull her over your shoulder, making her yelp.

“Ass” she mutters when you put her down.

Except there’s no annoyance in her tone, not this time. You smile back, leading her around the path to a small clear. You hand over sandwiches and some chips, while Wanda’s backpack has water and juice boxes for the kids. For your part, you take out a flask, enjoying the taste of scotch.

“Must you really?” Wanda says and you shrug your shoulders. 

When the kids are done, they approach the edge of the lake, throwing rocks and playing with the water. You are leaning back on a log, watching them with a relaxed expression on your face. Between the warmth of the sun, the sound of the water running down the mountains and the fact you didn’t get any sleep, you’re dozzing off in the middle of the mountain. And then Wanda breaks the silence.

“Why aren’t you speaking to Clint?”

“He was one of the idiots that convinced Natasha to go on that god damn mission” after a beat you add. “If Stark wasn’t dead I’d kill him myself. Rogers’ too old now. That would be a bit of a dick move”

“Were you blipped as well?”

“Nope. After you escaped from the Raft I was captured and taken to a secret facility. They thought I was their best bet to get to you so they tried to brainwash me. Didn’t work. By the time they figured it out, they stuffed me in a cryo chamber. Rhodes found me by chance two years ago”

“So you did see Natasha. Before…”

“I was screwed up beyond repair. Angry at everyone. And she was ridden with guilt over failing the world. But yeah, on top of being pissed at everyone, I’m pissed at myself for not stopping her. Then she’d still be alive”

But I’d be gone. And I wouldn’t have Tommy and Billy.

Of course. You’d choose Natasha over Wanda. Was that even a question? And how stupid of her to think she could have a chance.

But when Wanda looks at you, you’re just staring straight ahead, not bothering to apologize or correct yourself.

You said it loud and clear, you’d be happier if Natasha didn’t bring her back. She misses your shocked expression when she stands up, walking to the kids and telling them to get ready for the rest of the road.

“Which way?” she says, ready to lead them. You point at the river. You have to follow it all the way down to where it turns into a lake, and then you’ll be closer to your destination.

Wanda nods and turns away from you, making sure her kids are right behind her.

You try to catch up, make small talk. But you kinda get the hint when she pushes a branch out of her way, only to drop it right into your face a second later.

So, she’s back to hating you.

The steep terrain gives way to more gentle slopes, the valley broadening as you make your way down. In spite of Wanda’s renewed dislike for you, you try to enjoy the view. It’s been a while since you’ve taken this road.

“Are we almost there?” Billy says, getting exhausted. 

“Yeah. Just 30 more minutes or so. Come on, climb on my back” you offer, and he’s happy to take you up on it. Tommy seems to be doing fine, running around with abandonment and testing the limits of his speed.

True to your word, a half an hour later you stop at the floodplain. 

“What now? Are we supposed to keep walking forever? Is that your great plan?” Wanda says, arms on her hips. 

“We’ll cross the river and then we’ll be almost there” you answer, trying to keep your cool.

Even if she’s being unreasonable, you really don’t want to go back to being at each other’s throats.

“How are we even supposed…?”

“Jesus, don’t you have magic, Maximoff?” you finally snap. 

“You’re right. Come, kids”

Sure enough, it takes a small amount of her power to help them cross, and she smiles as you stay on the other side, rolling your eyes. The current is a bit strong, but not enough to drag you. Water is freezing cold, and you try not to show how uncomfortable you feel when it gets to your knees.

Five minutes later, you’re on the other side, avoiding Wanda’s stare.

Maybe this is a really bad idea, but it’s too late to back down now. 

You pull a small boat from a hiding place, gesturing for them to get inside before you push it in the water. 

“We’ve never been on a boat before” Tommy says, excited at the idea of being surrounded by water. You smile at him, enjoying how the current is taking you back home, the wind steady and soft as you steer the boat through the path you know too well.

You prefer to fly, but sailing is a close second and you’ve managed to do both in one day. That’s a win in your book, no matter how bitchy Wanda gets.

A spalsh of water that goes straight to your face lets you know she heard that.

Idiot.

It takes you by surprise. Clear as day, her voice in your head. 

You turn around, considering if you should throw her overboard. With a sigh, you decide it would be too much trouble to take care of the boys alone.

“Home, sweet home” you say as you finally approach the small wooden pier, smiling at the familiar sight of the hill that leads you to a place you love.

“Where are we?” Billy says, following you out of the boat. Tommy watches as you tie the rope to keep it there, the small movement making it hard for Wanda to stand up and jump out.

Even if it would be really funny to see her fall, you decide to be the bigger person, reaching for her and carrying her out of the boat.

“I am doing fine”

“Sure, princess”

“Let go of me”

Once again, she moves the conversation to your mind.

Savage.

What does it take to shut that mouth of yours?, you think.

And then, unexpectedly, your mind goes to the filthiest place it can think of. The image of Wanda, on her knees, her mouth open as you sink your strap deep in her throat.

“Out of my head” you yell when Wanda gasps. 

“I hate you” Wanda mutters, trying to free herself from your grip, hoping you won’t notice how much she’s blushing right now.

The sudden movement makes the boat rock back and forth, and before you can react, you’re both falling into the water.

“See what you did!” 

“I was trying to help, you pushed me!”

“Shut up or I’m drowning you, Y/N” Wanda says, swimming to the shore.

You stay back, sinking underwater and letting out a scream. 

Wanda saw that.

Fucking god damn it.

—

As punishment, you take the coldest shower, banging your head against the bathroom tiles over and over again.

Where the fuck did that come from?

You know what, you don’t even want to know. Doesn’t matter. It’s been a while for you, you live alone… it doesn’t mean anything.

Nothing at all.

Whatever.

As you step out of your bathroom, and change into some comfortable clothes -and God, how good it feels to have your own stuff again, you look around the room. It feels as if it’s been longer, instead of a couple of days. But also, it’s been a while since you were on a mission.

If you could even call it that.

By the time you walk out of your bedroom and down the stairs, you catch sight of Wanda, examining the pictures on the wall.

Most of them are with Natasha, or other Avengers. She sees herself in one of them, and she remembers that mission. How Natasha almost died, and you practically ripped in half the man that tried to shoot her.

“Fun times” you comment, eyes landing on that same picture. Of course you remember. “Had a big argument that night, told Natasha it always felt like she was going out of her way to get herself killed”

“Weren’t we all? Taking too many risks. As if they had to prove something to the world” Wanda sighs.

“The world doesn’t give a shit about us, so I don’t see why…”

“I’m sorry” Wanda says suddenly, turning to look at you. “For your loss. I never got around… I never told you”

“I’m sorry for your loss too” you smile softly, looking at the rest of the pictures, avoiding her eyes. “They should have let you see him. At the very least”

“He doesn’t even have a grave”

“Hers is empty” you say, swallowing.

The only time you spoke to Clint, was to get him to tell you everything. How it happened. You punched him square in the face, called him a fucking coward and left.

That was that.

“Thought I saw some movement” a man says, knocking on the door.

Wanda jumps, but you place your hand in her waist, easing her nerves.

“Hey, Sykes. I was back sooner than I expected. How’d she do?”

“Let me feed her, that’s about it. She’s a stubborn one”

“Yeah, I have my share of those” you comment, sneaking a glance at Wanda. “Wanda, this is Sykes, my neighbor”

“Neighbor? I didn’t see another property in miles” Wanda comments, accepting his hand.

“Yeah, that’s right. Y/N here has a big land. Lets us use it for some crops, though. Least I can do is look after the horse and the pup when she’s gone. Speaking of which” he turns, whistling.

A black and white dog comes sprinting through the door, straight to your arms. 

“Hey, monster!”

“Puppy!” Tommy and Billy come back that very moment, and Riley is all too happy to play around them.

“See ya around, have a good one” Sykes says goodbye and you wave your hand, sighing happily.

“Wanna take a tour of the place? We can see the ducks by the pond”

Billy and Tommy cheer, and you turn to look at Wanda. She shakes her head no, claiming the journey was a little too exhuasting for her.

You nod, telling her to make herself at home, taking the kids around the very big farm.

Wanda’s tired, but also a bit restless. She never imagined you’d be living in a place like this. The house seems very old, but not worned down; the slightly different color of the painting told the story of recent renovations. Judging by the tools and materials in the shed, it was all done by you. 

There’s a large dining room, a living room and in the far corner of the first floor, a study. Wanda walks in, noticing that the walls are covered in books, some paintings and old pictures scattered around.

She opens a picture book, taken aback by the sight of you, at least fifty years ago. She notices how time passes for the people around you, wrinkles and grey hair appearing more frequently. But you’re the same. 

Was this your family home? And if so, what happened to the other people?

She must have spent more time than she thought inside the study, because you come back a while later, calling for her.

“Hey” you say, surprised to see her leaving the study.

“I shouldn’t have, I’m sorry”

“No, that’s fine. I’m just going to the grocery store, there’s nothing here. Need anything?”

“The usual, to cook us something”

“I was thinking I could prepare dinner tonight. If that’s fine by you” you say with a small smile.

“Right, you need to make it to taste it” 

“Just wanted to do something nice” you say.

Wanda nods, averting your gaze. Of course. She doesn’t mean to be rude, but you make it so hard to keep her distance.

One minute you’re offering to make dinner, the next you’re implying that you wish she was still gone.

You take her silence as your cue to leave, telling the kids to stay back with their mother.

“Riley will give you a run for your money, kids. I can never get her tired” you say, offering your dog’s favorite ball.

As you pull out of the driveway, you find that the sight of the two kids playing, while Wanda sits on the porch steps, laughing and calling out for them… it’s not unpleasant.

You told yourself you were done. Alone was better, alone meant no risks.

And now, you wonder.

Did you really mean it? 

[sleeplessdove]

— twist the knife

♡ ghostface! e. williams x fem! reader

synopsis: just how much cruelty is your girlfriend capable of?

a/n: old fic while i work on vampire!ellie stuff …

warnings: DARK THEMES! - toxic relationships, murder, death, im serious she is on a killing spree, masked killers, name calling, mocking, tormenting, ellie & r! are in college, fighting, verbal arguments, breaking and entering, crying, begging, threats of violence, many of said threats are carried out, pet names, knife usage, blood, hair pulling, falling, smacking, a gun again who else is shocked, forced affection & apologies, r! gets eaten out, fingering (r! receiving), mentions of love cause why not, gun fucking ... guys im sorry, blackmail, photos with a lack of consent, and lots more !

wc: 9.6k

Even with the calm sound of the leaves rustling from the light breeze, you couldn’t help but continue to look back over your shoulder to ensure that no one was behind you. 

It was a nervous habit you had picked up after the murders began in your small town. You felt as if there was no amount of caution that would protect you from the psycho killer that was brutally ending innocent lives. 

The thoughts had flooded your mind so much that you had momentarily forgotten your girlfriend was right beside you, her fingers interlaced with your own as she carried out her usual routine of walking you home after classes were over. 

Your head was still turned back so that you could observe the people walking behind you, only being met with the sight of a students who you had seen around campus a few times. Ellie must have been trying to get your attention for a while, as she finally waved her hand in front of your face to snap you out of your trance. 

“Jesus fucking christ, I thought you were listening to me that whole time. Did you hear anything I said?” she questioned, a light chuckle leaving her lips despite her harsh words. Your eyes widened in the slightest when her voice finally reached you, flinching momentarily since you hadn’t expected the sudden sound. 

Ellie quickly snapped her head back in the direction you had previously been looking in, her brows furrowing to convey her confusion before looking back at you. “You’re acting like we have a stalker or something. Do you know something I don't?” she asked in her usual joking tone, your body relaxing in the slightest from how at ease Ellie seemed. 

“M’ sorry for not listening, I’m just a little scared— you know? All the people who have been killed are people we knew” you mumbled, lowering your gaze towards the orange leaves that were scattered all along the sidewalk. Ellie couldn’t stop the light scoff that passed her lips, almost seeming too relaxed despite the fact that you were absolutely right. 

“We didn’t know them that well” she added swiftly, a slight smile creeping onto her lips before she spoke once more. “Plus, it's not all bad. Classes are canceled till those dumbass cops can figure out what the fuck is going on. And considering the fact that they only know what costume the killer is wearing, we probably won’t have to worry about classes for the rest of the year” she blurted without the slightest bit of hesitation. 

It wasn’t unlike Ellie to be so sarcastic but you couldn't shake the nerves that were flooding your body, a small frown appearing on your lips despite her attempt to ease the tension. “S’ not like they’re gonna be missed anyways. Those jock assholes got what was coming to them. Shit, maybe we should be thanking ghostfa—” she began, although her words never managed to connect in your mind. 

You were far too distracted, as you had finally looked up at Ellie only to notice the slightest bit of blood seeping from a small gash that was covered by her hair. “Oh my god, what happened?” you questioned in a worried tone, your brows knitting together as you let go of her hand so you could try to observe her injury. With careful movements, you pushed her hair back only to find that the wound was far worse than you thought. 

There was a purplish hue surrounding it, dried blood having collected into the roots of her auburn hair. You couldn’t understand why you hadn’t noticed it earlier, only being brought out of your thoughts when Ellie pulled your hand away from her face ever so gently. “S’ nothing serious, baby. Just got into a little disagreement with someone yesterday” she muttered in a careless manner, trying to play it off as smoothly as possible. 

It wasn’t as if it was the most incomprehensible idea, as Ellie was known for her short temper and rather aggressive approach to resolving issues. However, that didn’t stop the small pout from appearing on your features, your eyes still lingering on the cut as you spoke. “You told me you were going to stop getting into fights” you huffed, not taking hold of her hand before you continued to walk in the direction of your home. 

Ellie was quick to follow after you, catching up to you before you could get too far from her. “I said I would try to stop getting into fights. There is a big difference” she retorted, wrapping her arm around your waist before using the back of her free hand to wipe off the smallest bit of blood that had dripped down her forehead. You only rolled your eyes at her words, grumbling a soft “whatever” in reply. 

The two of you had finally reached your home just as Ellie was about to make another excuse, and you were already pulling away from her so that you could make your way inside without her. Ellie wasn’t having any of that, pulling you back rather roughly so that you were facing her. “Can I come over later tonight, bun? I was thinkin’ maybe we could watch a scary movie together” she muttered, attempting to make you forget the fact that you were upset with her. 

It didn’t work all that well, as you shook your head quickly at the request. “Not tonight” you sighed, squirming in the slightest from how tightly she was holding you. Ellie didn’t seem pleased with your reply, her sweet demeanor dropping completely as a frown took the place of her previous smile. “Why not? Are you seeing someone else tonight?” she questioned in an accusing manner, her grip only tightening as you tried to get her to ease up. 

“No— I am not having anyone else over tonight” you scoffed, looking at her with an unamused expression. “I already told you that my parents are gone for the whole week and you know their rules” you began, only to be cut off by a low groan leaving Ellie’s lips. “No having your girlfriend over after dark” she mocked the rule your parents had made up the minute the two of you began dating, her voice making her irritation evident. 

You shot her a quick glare but nodded your head nonetheless, watching as Ellie tried to find the right words to convince you to just disobey your parents this one time. “How would they even know? Promise I won’t tell on you” she said with a cocky smile, as she had lied to your parents faces countless times after helping you sneak out at night to come over to her place.

 “I can’t take any chances after they caught you coming in through the window last week, Els. They still have me on house arrest for that” you whined in reply, not wanting to fight with Ellie about this any longer. 

Ellie’s reaction was anything but sweet, as she rolled her eyes and finally released the hold she had on you rather carelessly so that you stumbled in the slightest. “I don’t fucking get it— you’re in college and they treat you like you’re still just a kid” she grumbled, not at all pleased with the fact that you always insisted on following their rules. 

Your eyes narrowed at her words, a small sigh leaving your lips as you took in Ellie’s annoyed expression. You usually made an effort to not bicker with her over small things but she had been frustrating you more than usual as of late. 

With the way she was constantly ignoring your calls and clearly lying about what she had been doing these past few nights, you knew something was up. You were just as upset as she was and you should’ve bitten your tongue and shoved it down as you usually did, but you just couldn’t. 

“Not all of us can do whatever we want to, Ellie. Don’t try to give me shit just because you don’t have anyone back at home to give you rules to follow” you spat without thinking, your eyes widening the moment the words left your lips. 

It had been almost a year since Ellie’s only father figure, Joel, had been killed, the case never being solved which had left your girlfriend with a massive sense of resentment towards everyone and everything. She rarely opened up about it to you, but you already knew how much it ate away at her. 

It was a low blow but it was all you had in that moment. You just wanted to shut her up or maybe just piss her off enough that she finally explained her strange behavior. Despite your nervous expression, you stood your ground and offered her no apologies for your words. 

Ellie had momentarily gone silent— her lack of response putting you on edge as you awaited her reaction. People continued passing the two of you by as you stood in front of your home, the soft buzz of their conversation sounding far away due to the deafening silence Ellie had left you with. 

Her previous expression already showed her irritation, but once your words finally set in it changed rapidly. A little crease appeared between her brows, her breathing suddenly becoming uneven as she looked down at your unremorseful expression. 

It was a strange sight, as Ellie was always quick to find some hurtful reply to hit you with before you could even blink. She leaned back for a moment as if to take you in before moving in closer, her nails digging into her own palms as she clenched her fists at her sides. 

Your body was tingling with nerves, your eyes darting around every inch of Ellie’s infuriated expression. Her stare alone filled you with guilt and you tried to finally push some sort of apology out, but she was quick to cut you off. 

“You are such a fucking cunt” she spat, the disgust in her tone so prominent that you felt beyond humiliated. Over the course of your relationship with Ellie, you had grown accustomed to her outbursts. Whether it be calling you names or her picking a fight with you for absolutely no reason— she always found a way to piss you off. And yet this time it felt so different, as you had never dared to talk back to her before. 

Ellie backed up after she spoke, her piercing gaze tearing you apart so that you were left feeling embarrassed and exposed as you stood before her. “You always pull shit like this. Someone needs to teach you to stop running your fucking mouth” she said in a low tone, not even giving you a chance to reply before she started walking away from your home so that she could get back to her own. 

For a moment you acted on instinct, taking a small step to follow after her. You snapped out of it after you moved, only letting your eyes trail after her as she moved away. On any other occasion you would have pleaded for her forgiveness, but you were done with putting up with her constant shifts in mood. 

It felt as if you weren’t even in control of your body as you moved towards your home, unlocking the door with a blank expression on your face while your mind ran rampant over how Ellie had spoken to you. She had reacted differently than she usually would, as she had a tendency to raise her voice just to prove a point. And yet, she had kept an eerily calm demeanor as she spoke down to you. 

Some part of you wished she would have yelled or made some sort of empty threat, as her quiet reaction left you feeling nauseous. You knew dwelling on it wouldn’t make it any better, a soft huff leaving your lips as you dropped your bag on the side of the couch so that you could lay down. 

You turned on the television to have some background noise while you checked your phone, the news playing quietly as you fought with yourself on whether or not to text Ellie. Your thumb hovered over her contact, a frustrated groan leaving your lips before you shoved your phone between one of the couch cushions in an attempt to keep yourself from even thinking about speaking to her. 

Ellie was the one who had started all of this— not you. She was the one who had been disappearing for hours on end with pathetic excuses as to where she had been. You didn’t owe her anything, even if you had momentarily slipped up and said something hurtful. She had said absolutely vile things to you countless times and you never reacted the way she did. 

If she really wanted to fix whatever the fuck was happening between the two of you, she would just do it. You couldn’t make excuses for her anymore, as you had grown tired of her constant anger. 

You were a bit dazed as you stared at the screen in front of you, the low volume making it hard for you to understand what they were even saying. It was as if your mental exhaustion was manifesting into something physical, as your eyelids were heavy with the need for sleep. There was no way you could be bothered to close the curtains in your living room, your eyes fluttering closed as you continued to think about Ellie. 

Maybe this was for the best— the relationship you shared with her was anything but sweet. There was always something off about Ellie that you couldn’t quite discern and in all honesty, you were somewhat scared of her. You loved her a little too much and you had spent too long making excuses for her.

This whole argument had blown up in your face, and even as you drifted off you couldn’t help but think about how this was beginning to seem like a means to an end. 

-

Your heart was slamming against your chest as you were abruptly woken up by the loud ringing of your phone sounding throughout the dark living room. The only other noise within the space was the quiet hum of the tv, your eyes flickering towards the bright screen to try and focus on what was playing. 

With squinted eyes you read the breaking news title that read ‘GHOSTFACE STRIKES AGAIN!’ in crimson lettering, the vibrant red and blue police lights flashing on screen as they played a live feed of what was going on. 

The sight alone had you sitting up straight, your phone long forgotten as you scrambled to find the remote. You held down the volume button so that you could turn it up, leaning your body towards the TV as the newscasters described the situation at hand. It was hard to make out the words in your sleepy state, your fist coming up to rub the sleep from your eyes as you did your best to listen. 

You could only make out a few words—- a real life horror movie, another tragedy, gruesome, unlike anything we have seen before, and yet another college student has been lost. All of the words sounded strung together and they left you feeling uneasy, your eyes zeroing in on the screen so that you could get more details that would inevitably lead to you being paranoid all night. 

A shiver ran through your body from how cold the room was, your eyes finally flickering away from the screen so that you were looking at the window closest to where you were sitting. The thin curtains moved with the small breeze that was passing through, sending a wave of goosebumps across your skin. 

Why can’t you remember opening that window? 

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of your phone ringing once more, the sudden disruption making you let out a soft gasp. After you realized what the sound was, you let out somewhat of a nervous laugh at how dramatic you were being over the whole situation. 

There had to be an explanation for the window— as you did have a tendency to be rather forgetful and the phone calls were more than likely just scams. 

Nonetheless, you shifted around so that you could shove your hand between the sofa cushions, finally managing to yank your phone out so that you could find out who was insisting you at such a late hour. You were given no satiation to your curiosity, as you were greeted with the sight of No Caller ID instead of an actual number. 

It still provided you with a sense of relief, although some part of you had been hoping that Ellie was the one who had been so insistent on you picking up her calls. You declined the call, as you had seen too many horror movies thanks to your girlfriend's love for slasher flicks— and you refused to end up like those girls who die within the first 15 minutes since they pick up some unknown phone call. 

You dropped your phone back down onto the couch, doing your best to continue to listen to the news report as you made your way towards the window. Your hands were just about to push the window closed but you were distracted by what sounded like footsteps coming from inside your house. The sound made you whip your head back, your breath picking up within a split second. 

Fear was tingling throughout your entire body, your fingertips suddenly feeling numb as they pressed lightly against the window. The sound had disappeared just as quickly as it had come and for a moment you were able to convince yourself that it had just been some sort of hallucination. You had already been a little paranoid after seeing the latest breaking news and it was halloween time— of course you were bound to scare yourself a bit. 

Just as the tension was leaving your body, the silence was broken by your phone ringing once more. You flinched in the slightest from how startled you were, a quiet curse leaving your lips as you discarded your previous task to grab your phone instead. 

It was another blocked number and you momentarily thought about declining it once more, but curiosity was beginning to get the best of you. Against your better judgment, you accepted the call and pressed your phone against your ear. 

“Hello?” you called out in a meek voice, the quiet sound of breathing on the other side of the line being the only greeting when you first spoke. “Who is this?” the voice questioned, sounding somewhat distorted but you assumed it was just your shitty phone service. “Well who are you trying to reach?” you asked in return, settling down onto the couch. 

A low chuckle sounded from your phone, the person who was speaking to you seeming surprised by your question. “If you tell me your name, I’ll tell you who I’m trying to talk to” the disembodied voice quipped— and for a moment you could have sworn the person's voice was familiar. A light scoff left your lips, far too tired to stay on the phone with a creep who has nothing better to do than bother you. 

“Sorry dude, I think you’ve got the wrong number. Take it easy” you muttered in reply, already pulling your phone away from your ear so that they had no time to respond. You set your phone on the coffee table so that you close the window, your hands slamming down the window harshly enough that the sound of it seemed to reverberate through the eerily silent house for far longer than it should’ve. 

Just as you picked up your phone so that you could head upstairs to get to your bedroom, your phone began to buzz. You were growing frustrated with the calls now, your eyes narrowing as the lack of caller ID made itself known once more. For whatever reason, you picked up the phone once more and you were greeted by what you could only assume was the same voice of the person who was speaking to you before. “Why don’t you want to talk to me?” the voice questioned, their tone sounding a bit mocking which only added to your frustration. “Not a big fan of talking to strangers on the phone” you shot back quickly, your eyes focusing on the stairway that was just a few feet away. 

“There's no way you want to be left alone though” they said calmly, not giving you any space to add another snarky remark before they continued. “I mean, you’re all alone in that big house on the corner. Now that just can’t be safe for a scared little thing like you” they breathed, the words coming out so nonchalant that if you hadn’t been paying attention, you would have missed what was right in front of you. 

Your eyes widened once her words finally set in, your head immediately turning back to look at the window you had closed moments ago. “What did you just say?” you asked in a meek voice, your lips parting in the slightest so you could breathe a bit easier as your heart pounded against your chest. “Do you really need me to repeat myself, princess?” they questioned and this time you knew you had heard this voice before. Their condescending tone was something you had heard countless times, yet who had been the person to speak to you in such a way was barely on the tip of your tongue. 

Within a second of the fear finally taking over every last bit of your body, your finger was roughly pressing against your phone screen to end the call. You dropped your phone back onto the couch as if it was some sort of cursed object, your body seeming to move without your permission as you started rushing to each window you were near to make sure they were locked. It took a moment for you to gain enough courage to peer in the direction of the front door, the lock perfectly in place much to your relief. 

There wasn’t any time to relax, as your phone continued to ring as you moved around your home. It was all too overwhelming, the sound of the television mixing with the sound of your ringtone to create a garbled mess that only added to your already agitated state. You could feel a headache taking form as you practically tiptoed back towards the living room to avoid making an unnecessary noise. 

You knew it was idiotic to pick up a call from someone who practically confessed to knowing where you lived but some part of you was convinced you could still beg them to leave you alone. With shaky movements, you answered the call and backed yourself into the corner of the room so that you wouldn’t have to worry about someone coming up from behind you. 

“It’s a little too late to be making sure the house is all locked up, don’t you think?” the voice began the moment you pressed your phone to your ear, your whole body shaking from the shiver that overtook you. They were in your fucking house— and they were watching you. Before you had picked up the call you had the slightest bit of hope that this person was playing some kind of sick joke, but there was no way they could’ve just guessed what you were doing so easily. “Jeez, you’re already watching my latest hit. You must be a big fan of my work, huh?” they added on, clearly referencing the horrific news story that you had previously been engrossed in. 

Your chest began to heave as they revealed that they were the one person you feared the most, your nerves twisting with your rising frustration to create an awful mix of emotions that tore at your insides. “Listen asshole, my girlfriend is coming over any minute and she will kick your ass!” you lied, practically shouting into the phone although your voice shook in the slightest despite your attempt to sound intimidating. It wasn’t as if the person in your home knew what plans you had for the night, right?

“Oh no, not your girlfriend! I'm so scared” the killer said in a sarcastic tone, seeming completely unphased by your threat. Your brows furrowed at their reply, as you were done being toyed with. You took one final look at your surroundings to ensure there was no ghostly figure that was about to jump out at you before you sprinted towards the kitchen, your gaze landing on the set of large kitchen knives that sat on top of the kitchen counter. 

The space was only lit up by the moon that was shining through the window but you didn’t want to slow down to turn on the lights, your hand reaching for the largest knife and extending it outwards rather clumsily as if it would protect you from the invisible force you were fighting against. “Fuck you” you spat into the phone, already pulling the phone away from your face so that you could call the cops and get the fuck out of the house but your actions were quickly halted. 

“If you hang up on me one more time, I swear to god I will gut you like a fucking fish” they seethed, the threat making your hand tremble in the slightest as you brought the phone to your ear once more. It was as if all those horror movies you watched with Ellie countless times had taught you nothing, as all you could do was stand completely still while every part of your brain screamed at you to run out of the house as fast as you possibly could. 

The moment of silence was filled by the sound of creaking that now sounded as if it was coming from somewhere near you, your breath hitching in your throat as your grip on the large knife tightened. You couldn’t keep up a strong facade any longer, hot tears rolling down your cheeks before you could make any attempt to conceal them. Soft sniffles were all you could offer, as you weren’t exactly sure that speaking first was the best idea after the last words they had spoken to you. 

“Look at you, following my directions nice n’ easy. Your girlfriend must’ve trained you to behave so well” the distorted voice cooed, almost managing to sound truly affectionate. You let out a pitiful cry at the menacing words, the fight between you and Ellie that had occurred earlier in the day filling your mind. If you had just let her come over, none of this would be happening. All you could see was the look of sheer anger that had overtaken Ellie’s features when you had spewed those hurtful words to her and you would give anything to be able to take it all back. Tonight could’ve been spent curled up at her side on the couch with some cheesy horror movie playing on tv but instead, you were living in one. 

You just wanted to hear Ellie’s voice at this moment, to have her tell you what to do to defend yourself. She was always telling you that you needed to be able to fend for yourself but you had never taken her seriously and now you were left with the overwhelming consequence of your actions. The thoughts had consumed you so much that you hadn’t even given a proper reply, although your silence didn’t seem to offend the person on the other side of the phone.

“What? Got nothin’ to say now, baby? I wanted to hear more about that girlfriend of yours but you can’t even speak properly” they muttered in a false tone of disappointment, a small sigh passing their lips before continuing on. “How about we play a little game? If you win, I’ll leave you alone— but if you get it wrong, m’ gonna have to kill you” they spoke in a relaxed tone, making your death sound as if it was going to be nothing more than a chore to them. 

“I don’t want to play any games with you— please, just leave me alone. I won’t tell anyone about this, I swear” you pleaded, hiccups interrupting your words as you continued to cry. You were desperate to stop the tears, as they were blurring your vision further which made it practically impossible to see anything around you as you stood in the dark kitchen. A light scoff sounded from the phone which caused you to jump in the slightest, every little thing now scaring you beyond belief. 

“Well if you really don’t want to play, I’ll just have to kill you. It takes the fun out of it for me but if that's how you want to do it—” the voice began to taunt you once more and you were quick to cut them off, shaking your head feverishly as if they could see you, and in all honesty they probably could see you. “No, I’ll play!” you practically shouted, praying that whatever game they chose would be somewhat fair. 

Your eyes were darting around the dark space around you as if someone would jump out at any moment, your heart beating so harshly against your chest that you were almost positive it would burst through in a few seconds if you didn’t calm down. “Alright, make sure to listen cause I really don’t like repeating myself. There's four closets in your house, so go ahead and guess which one I’m in” they demanded, their confession of being inside already making your blood run cold. 

It was completely unfair to make you think at a time like this, your mind so muddled that you were practically whining at their question. How the fuck were you supposed to know where they were? You knew there was no chance of you making it out alive if you didn’t at least try to guess where they were hiding. It was only a little while ago that you had heard creaking downstairs— or was it upstairs? A frustrated groan left your lips, your shaking hand lowering the knife as you tried to think back to the moment when you had heard it.  

“Upstairs! You’re upstairs in my bedroom closet, the room on the left” you blurted without thinking it through, your eyes widening as you realized you had just taken your life into your own hands. “Ah— so close! But still wrong” they shot back quickly and you were almost positive they were smiling as they spoke. 

You were full blown sobbing now, raising your arm so that the knife was facing away from you once more as you tried to figure out what to do. There was a chance that they were still in the other closet that was upstairs which meant you could hang up on them, call the police, and run like hell before they had the chance to catch up to you. Or they could already be downstairs and there was no time to call the police. You remained silent as the options ran through your mind, the killer never once interrupting your train of thought which you were rather grateful for. 

After what seemed like hours of contemplating every little detail, you took a deep breath in and checked your surroundings one last time. Darkness seemed to consume all that you could see and that only caused your adrenaline to rise further. Your movements were done so quickly that you hadn’t even registered what you were doing until you were ending the call, shoving your phone into your back pocket before you took off towards the front door as quickly as you possibly could. 

You weren’t even wearing any shoes but you couldn’t be bothered to care with your life on the line, the knife you were holding remained in front of you in a defensive manner as you moved through your home. The front door was in your line of sight and it was so close— you could practically feel the cool autumn air that was waiting for you just outside the door. You were so close to being free, your tears continuing to fall but from relief rather than fear. 

This fucked up night could finally be over and you wouldn’t stop running until your lungs gave out on you. All you could think of was Ellie as you reached for the doorknob, already imagining how worried she would be when you told her about everything that happened tonight. Your hand was mere inches from the door, your fingertips barely grazing the cool metal of the doorknob before your motions were disrupted by the sound of a door swinging open. 

The cloaked figure lunged at you the moment they came into view, the sight of the white mask filling you with utter terror as they dragged you away from the door. You were screaming as loud as possible, doing your best to alert your neighbors about what was going on. They were far stronger than you were despite the strength provided by your adrenaline, as they were able to grasp your wrist so that you were unable to make any attempts to swipe at them with the knife you were holding onto. Before you could realize what the killer was doing, they grabbed your phone from your back pocket and slammed it against the ground so that it was reduced to a shattered mess that you were left unable to use. 

You were squirming around relentlessly, trying to free yourself from the bruising grip they had on you. They had gotten you pinned up against the wall to the side of the front door, knocking the last bit of air out of your lungs from how forceful they were being. It had taken an incredible amount of energy for you to finally manage to free one of your wrists from the hold they had on it, although it was devoid of any weapon. 

Your hand raised towards the ghostly mask, half expecting ghostface to kill you right then and there for making an attempt to find out who they really were and yet they made no effort to stop your movements. You finally grasped the bottom of the mask, a pained squeak leaving your lips as their gloved hands dug into your soft flesh to keep you in place. In one swift motion, you managed to pull the mask off completely and you were greeted with a gut wrenching sight. 

“Surprise, baby!” Ellie said in an all too cheery tone, her voice sounding a bit breathy from having to fight to keep you still. Her usually gentle features were splattered with blood, the metallic scent filling your nose due to how close she was to your own face. Her last victim must have gotten her mask off just as she sealed their doom, as that could be the only explanation for how she had managed to become covered in their blood. She must have come straight from her last kill— the one you had just viewed on tv. 

It felt as if your world had just caved in or even exploded, you really couldn’t decide. Finding words after realizing your girlfriend was the one person you should’ve feared the most was a rather hard task, your lips parting countless times to speak and yet no words came out. Your tears had ceased to fall as you took in her slightly amused expression, your shaky hand dropping the mask onto the floor as your mind ran a mile a minute. Despite the overwhelming fear you felt, the sense of betrayal was far too much for you to keep down and it gave you just enough momentum to finally do something. 

“You fucking liar” you spat, thinking of all the times Ellie had insisted that she had simply had her phone on silent or had fallen asleep early when you didn’t hear from her for hours at a time. You had confided in her about the fear you felt about all the murders that were happening in town and she had soothed you each time, insisting that she would be there to protect you if anything were to go wrong. 

All the while, she was the one who had been causing you so many sleepless nights and she was the person who had taken so many innocent lives. A sick smile was beginning to take form on Ellie’s lips after you had spoken and you could already tell she was about to give you some sort of snarky reply. Her grip on you had relaxed ever so slightly since she believed you were too frightened to do anything and you knew this may be your only opportunity to get away from her. 

Just as she was parting her lips to speak to you, you mustered up all your strength to tug your wrist up enough so that your hand that was still gripping the knife could make contact with her skin. You couldn’t reach very far due to her quickly realizing what you were trying to do, a grunt leaving her lips as she attempted to keep you still but she was too late. With a quick movement, you were able to make a swipe at her arm that was still making an attempt to hold you, blood rushing to the surface of her skin within the blink of an eye. 

Ellie released you once the warm liquid began to drip down her arm, instinctively bringing a hand up to cover her wound before she could think about what she was doing. You didn’t wait to get her full reaction, sliding from where she had you pinned against the wall and running as if your life depended on it— and at this moment, it really did. Soft whimpers left your lips as you desperately tried to think of somewhere to hide before she caught up with you, your hand taking hold of the door leading into the garage the second she began calling out your name. 

You hid behind the door, the knife still held tightly in your right hand while you clasped your other over your own mouth. Keeping your breaths quiet seemed almost impossible but you couldn‘t risk having any slip ups. The door was left slightly ajar on purpose, as you needed to be able to see Ellie as she moved throughout the house so you could make sure she was out of the way before you tried to get back to the front door. 

Her cloaked figure was moving slowly, your name leaving her lips tauntingly as she suppressed the pained groans she so desperately wanted to let out. You had managed to cut her fairly deep and the blood soaking into her cheap halloween costume was direct proof of that. “Get out here you fucking coward” she seethed, her head whipping back towards your direction when you accidentally let out a sound of surprise at her loud voice booming throughout the home. 

Your eyes widened at the realization of your mistake, squeezing your eyes shut momentarily as if it would make Ellie disappear completely. “If you come out now, I promise to play nice” she lied in a sickeningly sweet tone, her eyes narrowing as she got closer towards the very door you were standing behind. Her footsteps were heavy as she made her way towards you, your eyes beginning to well with tears once more as she got closer. For a moment you couldn’t tell what she was doing, as she had stopped so she could take off the black cloak completely. Wearing only a black tank top and jeans, you could now see that her body was littered with bruises, the gash you had just given her smudging her arm a dark red from her cloak pressing against her skin. 

Ellie had been wearing her hoodies constantly these last few weeks but you hadn’t thought anything of it, as the chilly weather was enough to explain it away. But it explained why she had been keeping her clothes on the last few times she had managed to get you alone, always insisting that she just wanted to make you feel good. She would have you completely bare while she remained fully covered and you had never even given it a second thought. You wished that you would’ve paid more attention to all the signs pointing to her being the culprit, yet there was no way you could have ever guessed that she would even be capable of such heinous crimes. 

After taking in her injured form, you watched her hand move towards her back pocket so she could pull something out. You could see something else that was tucked in the back of her jeans but you didn’t have enough time to get a look at it, as the sound of her switchblade flicking open had you focusing your attention back on her hand that now wielded the weapon. You felt as if the breath in your lungs was being stolen from you, your body backing up slightly so you could press yourself against the wall in the hopes that she wouldn’t see you. 

Just as she was reaching for the doorknob, a noise cut through the silence that sounded like a dish clattering. You did your best to not make a single sound as she turned away from you, clearly believing that you were the one who had made the noise. For a second you believed fate was finally on your side, as one of the dishes in the sink must have slipped just enough to get her distracted. “I’ve got you now” she taunted, swiftly making her way towards the kitchen. 

A quiet breath of relief left your lips once she was out of sight, your hand moving away from your lips so that you could take in a few gulps of air before making any sudden moves. Now that you could no longer see her, you could only assume her position in the house, her footsteps sounding far enough for you to open the door a bit wider. Your eyes darted in the direction of the staircase that was just down the hall, your heart pounding in your ears as you tried to decide if it was actually even possible for you to get upstairs without alerting her. 

You would rather go for the front door but that had already proven to be the wrong move and she would already expect that from you. After a moment of contemplation, you drew in a deep breath that seemed to cause your whole body to shake before you carefully pulled open the door and bolted towards the stairs before you could overthink it. 

You could spot your room as you reached the bottoms of the stairs, your body momentarily relaxing as you continued to rush as quickly and quietly as possible. You were so close— so close to being able to get away from whatever nightmare this was. 

And yet, just as you reached the bottom of the steps, an uncaring hand tugged you back by your hair. The cry you let out was pitiful, your head spinning as you tumbled to the ground. You already knew what had happened but that didn’t lessen the blow of having to see Ellie right above you, using her knee to keep the rest of your body held down as she kept a tight hold on your wrists. 

“You really are a fucking idiot, you know that?” she seethes, her chest heaving just the same as yours is. Crying would be futile at a time like this so you look up at her with nothing but betrayal and resentment. “Fuck you” you seethe, although your words only make her smile brightly. “Aw no, baby. We already played that game, remember?” she asks teasingly. You hated her more each time she opened her mouth and you wanted nothing more than to smack that stupid fucking smile off her face. 

“W— why are you doing this?” you ask abruptly, your eyes scanning her features for even the slightest bit of regret and yet you came up empty. The question makes her scoff, as she couldn’t believe that was what you chose to ask at a time like this. “You’re so unoriginal” she huffs, although her grip on your wrist falters as she begins to speak. “You should know already” she continues on, her eyes remaining focused on your fearful expression. 

“No one took his death seriously— no one. So why does everyone suddenly care when a bunch of asshole kids from a college get killed off, huh?” she begins, and you already know she is referencing Joel’s abrupt death. “I figured I’d give those cops something to do since all they’ve done is sit on their asses… those fucking bastards” she says, so lost in her confession that she doesn’t even feel the way you easily slip your wrist from her grasp and before she takes notice, you use all the strength you could muster to smack her, not giving two shits as to why she felt she had the right to harm others. 

The hit makes her groan, her head turning from the force of it as her whole body weakens for a brief moment, just long enough for you to shove her off of you and make another run for your bedroom. You could hear Ellie screaming meaninglessly as you sprinted for your life towards your bedroom, the sound of her footsteps right behind you making it hard to breathe. 

There was no time to slam the door before she got a hold on you again and she was going to make sure you knew she wasn’t fucking around this time. You were about to scream just to call attention to the house in case any neighbors happened to hear but you were quickly cut off when you felt a cool metal press against the side of your head. 

She had a fucking gun— that was what you had seen tucked in her jeans earlier. 

You felt as if your lungs were giving out, soft pleas beginning to fall from your lips as your body trembled in her hold. “Not so tough now, huh?” she questions, guiding you towards your plush bed and shoving you down on it, watching as you look up at her with teary eyes as she keeps the gun pointed at your head. 

The sight of you being reduced to such a pathetic sight made something blossom in Ellie’s chest, a sick sense of pride. She tucked the weapon into the back of her jeans before slowly crawling into bed with you, her body straddling your own as she looks down at you curiously. You can’t speak even if you try, the words dying in your throat as you watch her pull out her switchblade instead. 

She seems to relax, although you are tensing with each passing second as she brings the sharpened blade closer to your skin. You shake your head repeatedly, trying to reason with her. “Please— please don’t kill me” you begin to beg, the words leaving your lips countless times before they finally invoke a response from her. “Oh, angel. I don’t want to kill you. Just wanted to have some fun with you but then you had to make a big fuss, didn’t you?” she asks, her voice so soothing that you could feel your rational mind slipping away. 

“You really hurt me, baby” she sighs, beginning to use her blade to slice through the fabric of your top effortlessly. You whimper, a bit too loud for her liking. “Shut the fuck up” she snaps, cutting into the band of your bra next, her rough hand messily tugging the ruined material to the side so she could get a perfect view of your tits. You felt all too exposed, your frown deepening as you looked up at her. 

“So, are you gonna apologize for being so disrespectful?” she questions as she pushes up the material of your skirt, her blade catching on your panties. “Sorry” you mutter, squirming since her blade was uncomfortably close to your skin. Ellie’s patience was wearing, a low huff leaving her lips as she cut into the fabric. “Stop fucking moving!” she says exasperatedly, the loud words causing your body to still at once. 

She sighs as she pulls the thin fabric away from your body, her eyes shamelessly focusing on your cunt, her hand carelessly shoving your thighs further apart. “Say it like you mean it” she demands, not at all impressed. Her words make you burn with shame, your mind racing as she brings her hand closer to your cunt that was beginning to become embarrassingly wet. 

Just as your words began, her blade dug into your lower tummy in the slightest, barely enough to draw blood. “I’m sorry, Ellie! I didn’t mean it, I swear” you plead in a rushed voice, trying to focus on not moving at all so her blade wouldn’t push deeper into the soft skin of your stomach. Your chest heaved against your will and you were almost positive that this was the end for you, 

Seeing you all teary eyed and frightened made Ellie dizzy with power and she finally pulled away the blade, tucking it into her pocket before giving you a little kiss on your lips, not at all caring that you didn’t even have time to react to the action. “Was that so hard, sweet girl? Can’t believe you made me hurt you” she says with a mocking pout. 

All you can do is try to control your breathing, no longer attempting to struggle under the weight of her body. You knew your life was in danger but Ellie’s presence made it impossible for you to have any sort of rationality. 

“C’mere” she mutters calmly, finally scooting back so that you could sit up. She could already tell she had gotten you right where she wanted you so she felt no concern about letting you sit up for the time being. She carelessly removed your torn clothes so that you were finally completely bare for her. 

She couldn’t help herself, as her hand naturally lowered to deliver a few rough slaps against your tits. You flinched, the pain spreading quickly and making you huff a bit. It was hard not to be ashamed when you were completely nude and she was still fully clothed. Not to mention the fact that you were willingly allowing a ruthless killer to see you like this. 

No words were spoken as she laid you back down, not paying you any mind as she lowered herself so she could settle between your legs. You knew better than to move at this point, so you settled for raising your head in the slightest bit so you could peek down at her. 

Ellie didn’t bother to meet your gaze, her rough hands moving against your soft skin as she made sure you would be unable to press your thighs together. “Els…” you began, unsure of what you were even going to say. You didn’t even have the option to finish your sentence, as in the blink of an eye you could feel her warm breath against your cunt. 

You flinched involuntarily as she pressed a messy kiss to your sensitive clit, her tongue flattening to lick a stripe against your slit afterwards. She only backed away to speak a few simple words. “Just keep your mouth shut” she muttered before returning to her previous movements. 

The way her tongue sloppily moved against you showed a desperation you had never seen before, although the grip she had on your hips was proof of the anger that still lingered. You clasped your hand over your mouth, your brows knitting as you focused on how she would take little breaks to focus on sucking on your puffy bud. 

Your shaky hips rocked against her mouth, her own moans filling the room as she took in your sweet taste. “You gonna let me open you up?” she asks ever so calmly, allowing her middle finger to press into your slick cunt so she could fuck you with it. 

You were growing dizzy with a combination of guilt and pleasure, tears of frustration forming as she fucked you open. “Does it feel good, baby?” she asks, raising her head so she could look at your pathetic expression. You look at her for a moment, unsure if you were actually allowed to speak. 

The sight of your unsure gaze made Ellie grin in the slightest, not giving any warning as she pushed a second finger into you. “S’ fine, I wanna hear you” she says, granting you the permission you had been seeking out. Your muscles relaxed as you were finally allowed to let out small moans, your tears now aimlessly streaming down your face. 

“Mhmm,  I can feel it so deep” you whisper, curses slipping out as you press your head back against your bed. Your small movements quickly became erratic, your body writhing as endless pleasure built. “Need to cum, please” you beg, as something tightening in your lower tummy told you that you were getting close. 

“Not yet, we haven’t even gotten to the fun part” she hums, not caring about the shocked expression that took over your features. She halted the thrusting of her fingers to pull them out, your arousal still sticky against her skin. 

You momentarily believed that she had no intentions of letting you get off and you simply couldn’t bear the thought after all you had been through tonight. You needed to feel release, sooner rather than later. 

“I’ll do anything” you say quickly, your words so rushed that they almost don’t make sense to Ellie. Her eye refocus on you as she takes a moment to decipher what you had said, a smile making itself known as she reaches for an item still tucked into the back of her jeans. 

“I know you will” she quips, finally revealing what she had been reaching for. Ellie loved how heavy the gun felt in her hand and it offered her a sense of control she had never felt previously. Your heart nearly leapt out of your throat, your muscles aching from how harshly you were tensing up. 

The way you feverishly shook your head made you momentarily nauseous and you uttered the only words you could think of. “Please— don’t hurt me, I love you” you say breathlessly, feeling hurt at the way Ellie was quick to mutter a mocking version of your words. 

“I’m not gonna hurt you unless you make me” she states nonchalantly, inching the gun closer to your cunt but not before taking the time to spit directly on your pussy to ensure you wouldn’t be in too much pain from the stretch. 

You feel powerless as she finally presses the cool steel against your slit, the sound of her low voice reverberating inside your mind. “Make sure to keep still. You don’t want me accidentally pulling the trigger now, do you?” she asks with a sick smile. 

The two of you already know your answer so you don’t bother with a verbal reply, instead you close your eyes tightly and brace yourself. 

The barrel of the handgun eases into your cunt and you are thankful that she had the decency to make sure you were slick enough to take the weapon. Although that’s not to say that there wasn’t any pain, as low grunts were quick to leave your lips from how thick it was. 

“Keep taking it, just like that” she coos, now beginning to properly fuck you with it. You had fallen weak to your desires, as it dawned on you that you were truly nearing your orgasm due to the fact that you were being fucked with a gun. The thrusts were deep and fast, your moans becoming borderline screams as your pleasure continuously built. 

The barrel had grown warm from being within you and the way you were crying Ellie’s name let her know that you were on the brink of your climax. “Do it. Cum on my gun like the filthy girl you are” she mutters, rubbing your clit in time with the thrusts of the weapon. 

And you didn’t need to be told twice, as with one loud cry, you had reached your orgasm. Ellie felt pride swell within her chest as she saw the white ring of your slick that had formed at the end of the barrel. 

She eased the weapon out of your before using her tongue to shamelessly clean up the mess you had made on her weapon of choice. You were barely coherent, the exhaustion of all the fighting you had done catching up with you as well as the fact that your adrenaline was wearing off. 

You didn’t even notice as she stood above you, phone in hand as she took a flash photo of your worn down state. Once the light made you squint, you could hear her voice right next to your ear but you couldn’t even see her. 

“You tell anyone about what I did, I swear to god this picture will be plastered everywhere so everyone knows how much you love getting fucked by sickos. And if you ever talk back to me again, I’ll blow your brains out before you can even finish your sentence” she whispers. 

By the time you can see clearly again, she is gone, leaving you to clean up the mess she had made. But even with her gone, you swore you could still feel her eyes on you and you knew once and for all, there was no way she would ever let you get away from her. 

[cosmicclearwater]

Give Him Time | E. Call

• ──────────────☾────────────── •

Genre: fluff Character: Embry Call x Reader Word Count: 6.5k Warnings: cursing, kissing/making out, use of Y/N Summary: Embry tries to keep his distance but gives up when he realizes that he no longer has a choice. Requested: Yes (from anon: "embry x reader he imprints on reader who just moved to forks (no relationship with bella or anyone in the books she jus moved thered with her family) and he imprints when shes at a bonfire on la push beach. he is around with a couple other pack members and he’s supposed to jus keep watch and he takes a while to build a relationship w her") Note: characters are aged up (around 20).

a/n: kinda hate this, but it's been ages since I've posted, and this has been sitting in my drafts for a while.

• ──────────────☾────────────── •

One week. I've been in Forks for one week and I've already been roped into attending some kind of late-night social gathering at a beach in La Push by a group of friends I met while working at the local grocery store in town. That would probably be exciting for most people, especially if they're new in town and know absolutely no one, but I don't see it that way. I would much rather be hiding away in my room, curled up under my weighted blanket with a good book and a hot cup of tea, not freezing my ass off at a bonfire on the beach surrounded by strangers. Despite it being late August and technically still summer, the nights are significantly cooler than the days, which aren't very hot themselves. Thankfully it's not raining out. I would have turned down the offer to come had it been anyone other than the sweet, kind-hearted Angela who'd asked. But since I didn't, I'm stuck listening to the annoying, air-headed Mike Newton go on an over-exaggerated tangent about the time got caught sleeping in his math class in high school and received detention for it.

As I try my best to be attentive, I can't help but let my eyes drift around the large group of people that surround the area. It was only supposed to be a small gathering, and that's how it started out, but as it gets later, more and more people show up. I sigh, continuing to scan the crowd until my eyes land on a small group of guys standing nearby. Just by their appearance, I know who they are. Jessica made sure to inform me prior to arriving about the "weird" reservation kids who act like they run the area and would probably show up to stand watch like guard dogs. She and her friends had a lot to say about the four guys, none of it being particularly nice. I don't see the problem, though, because they have kept to themselves the whole time. They speak when spoken to, but other than that, they keep conversation amongst themselves. I find myself intrigued by the reserved strangers.

My gaze lingers a little too long because one of them looks up and our eyes lock. Instantly, a shiver runs down my spine, a sudden rush of warmth replacing the coldness I'm feeling. Something about him draws me in and pulls me towards him, yet I can't find the will to move. He's beautiful, in a boyish kind of way, wearing khaki shorts and a black cut-off T-shirt despite the chilled weather. He's the one to break the impromptu staring contest when one of his friends nudges his side and steals his attention. I'm a little disappointed when his rich brown eyes look away. I watch for a little longer as they share a few hushed words before all of their eyes shift to me. The extra attention forces me to finally divert mine away.

"Hey," I lean closer to speak to Angela, "I'll be back. I'm gonna take a walk down the beach."

"Okay." She nods, "Do you want me to walk with you?"

"No, it's okay. I won't be gone long."

I walk along the shore, kicking rocks until I get far enough away that the loud music and shouting sound like a soft murmur in the distance. I find a washed-up log and sit down, watching the waves crash against the shore before retreating. It's quiet and peaceful. I could probably fall asleep sitting here. The sound of a stick snapping behind me ruins that thought. Turning my head away from the water and towards the forest, I come face-to-face with the handsome boy.

"You shouldn't be wandering around out here by yourself. It's not safe." He speaks as he takes a hesitant step closer to me.

"I could say the same to you."

"Why did you leave your friends?" He asks, coming to take a seat on the log next to me, making sure to leave a little space between us.

"They are hardly my friends." I laugh dryly, staring back out at the water. "I didn't even want to come."

"Then why did you?" I shrug in response, not really having a reasonable answer to give. "I could give you a ride home if you want."

"I don't even know you." I chuckle. "Didn't you just lecture me about it not being safe to wander off out here alone, and now you're offering me a ride home. Talk about stranger danger. This is literally the plot and premise of every teen slasher film."

"It was hardly a lecture. More of a piece of valuable advice." He smiles, offering his hand to shake. "I'm Embry Call."

"Y/N Y/L/N." I reply, grabbing his hand. It's unbelievably warm yet comforting.

"Now we're not strangers. Want to take me up on my offer now?" He asks. "If not, you could always go back and ask that Newton kid to tell you another story to help pass the time."

"I would rather step on a Lego than listen to another one of his stories." I scoff. "But I should let Angela know I'm leaving first."

"Let's go then." He chuckles and stands up, waiting for me to rise to my feet before leading me back to the bonfire.

• ───────────────────────────── •

The drive to my house seems to go by quickly. We make small talk here and there until the conversations eventually fizzle out completely and we fall into a comfortable silence. There's a weird tension that lingers in the air. Not a bad weird, just different. I want to know more about him but he's a little closed off. When we speak, it seems like he wants to let me in, he wants to talk to me, but something is stopping him from getting too deep. Despite that, he makes me feel at ease.

"We're here." he speaks softly, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Oh, okay. Thanks for the ride." I reply, attempting to hide my disappointment with a smile. "And for not killing me." I tack on a joke for further convincing.

"No problem." He laughs as he opens his door to get out. He comes around to my side and opens my door for me, grabbing my hand gently to help me out of the truck. "I'll wait here until you get inside."

"Okay," I nod. "Will I see you around?"

"Maybe." He shrugs.

"Goodnight, Embry."

"Goodnight, Y/N." The way my name rolls off his tongue so soft and smooth sends a gentle shiver running through me. Every thought in my brain vanishes and it's only the sound of his voice playing over and over again like a broken record.

By the time I make it up to my room, I'm smiling hard and surely sporting flushed cheeks. I look out my window to check, and there he is, still waiting like he said. I wave down at him once we make eye contact. He smiles and waves back before climbing into the truck and reversing out of the driveway.

I go about my usual nightly routine before finally settling into bed. The smile that this mysterious boy has somehow managed to plant on my face has yet to disappear. I think back over our interactions throughout the night, and although they had been small and more than likely meaningless to him, they had me giggling and kicking my feet like a little schoolgirl. Figuratively, of course. Once I manage to calm myself down, I close my eyes and begin to drift off to sleep, whispering a quick prayer that tonight was only the first and not the last time I would be seeing the handsome stranger.

• ───────────────────────────── •

"That movie was awful." I scoff, walking with the rest of the group out of the theater.

"I thought it was awesome!" Mike exclaims.

"How? There was an unnecessary amount of blood and gore that did absolutely nothing for the plot, and the graphics were horrible."

"Woah there! Didn't know we had a professional movie critic on our hands." Mike jokes, receiving laughter from the rest of the group.

I roll my eyes as they begin gushing and raving about the action movie as we walk down the street. I fall back behind the group a bit, putting a little distance between me and them, but not too much that it's noticeable. Not that I think they would notice anyway. Despite having hung out with them numerous times since the bonfire two weeks ago, my friendship with them hasn't progressed at all. I just don't feel much of a connection with any of them, other than Angela.

"Hey, Y/N!" A call of my name pulls me out of my thoughts. I look up at Angela and her friends to find the source, only to see them looking back at me, confusion written on all of their faces. "Hey!" The masculine voice calls again from behind me, a little closer this time. I turn around this time, coming face-to-face with one of the guys from the bonfire, Embry and a couple of others not far behind.

"Do I know you?" I ask.

"No, but I know you. I'm Jared Cameron." He offers me his hand to shake.

"Y/N Y/L/N." I shake his outstretched hand. The next one to introduce himself has short, curly hair and a boyish grin on his face.

"Quil Ateara. The fifth, but the greatest." He chuckles, shaking my hand. The last one steps up wearing a smug expression as he introduces himself.

"Paul Lahote." He smirks, grabbing my hand and bringing it up to his lips. However, before he can make contact with my skin, he is stopped by Embry's stern voice.

"Enough, Paul." He orders to the snickering man.

"Hi, Embry." I redirect my attention to the boy who stands a few steps behind the others.

"Hey." He replies, our gazes locking briefly before he looks away.

"We're heading to a little restaurant down the street," Jared explains. "Wanna join?"

"Oh uh-" As I try to find the words to respond to his spontaneous offer, I'm interrupted by the voice of a female, that I have come to realize I am not the biggest fan of.

"Hey, Y/N. Who are your friends?" She asks, leaving me no time to respond before turning to introduce herself. "Hi, I'm Jessica Stanley." A chorus of 'hey's and 'hello's come from the group in response.

"We're heading home if you're ready." She directs her attention to me this time.

"Okay."

"We were actually offering her to join us for dinner," Quil states, presenting the offer Jared had extended to me just a few moments ago. "If she hasn't eaten yet."

"That's so kind of you." Jessica speaks with fake enthusiasm.

"Will you?" Jared questions, eyes trained on mine.

"Sure." I nod, turning to the group I had come with. "If that's okay with all of you."

"Go ahead." Angela is the one to step up and speak, a small but noticeable smile on her face. "Text me when you get home?"

A simple nod is all she needs before she grabs Jessica's hand and guides her back over to their group.

"Let's go," Paul speaks, throwing his arm over my shoulder as if we've known each other for years, and begins to lead me away. "I'm starving."

The restaurant we end up at is a cute, family-owned Italian place. It's cozy and welcoming, much like the rowdy group of boys who invited me to it.

"You have got to try the pizza," Quil leans in from his chair beside me to show me the options on the menu. "It's amazing."

"You think so?" I ask, amused by his never-ending enthusiasm.

"I know so." He winks, flashing me a toothy grin.

"The chicken alfredo is also really good." Jared adds from his seat on the other side of the table. I take their suggestions into consideration as I browse the menu.

"Everything looks and sounds delicious," I say, a sigh of defeat passing through my lips. "I don't know what to choose."

"We could order a couple plates of pasta and a few large pizzas to share. The portions are pretty big." Jared suggests.

"That's fine with me." I nod. "I'm still kind of full from the popcorn I ate at the theater so I won't be able to finish a full meal by myself."

"Don't you worry your pretty little head," Quil taps the tip of my nose with his index finger, forcing a giggle out of me at his antics. "Whatever you don't eat, I can gladly finish for you."

"Sounds like a plan then." I smile.

Once we finalize our decisions and put in our orders, we fall into easy conversation. A majority of it is Jared, Quil, and Paul bickering about random stuff or asking me questions. Despite their endless chatter, I can't help but let my mind linger on the quiet male sitting directly to my left. Before I can gather the courage to talk to Embry, Paul grabs my attention.

"How come you hang out with that Newton kid and his friends if you can't stand them?"

"Huh?" His question throws me off a bit.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but you didn't seem too thrilled when we saw you outside of the theater." He elaborates. "And you looked a little annoyed when that Jennifer girl butt in to our conversation."

"You mean Jessica?" I chuckle as I correct him.

"Yeah, her." He nods.

"I wouldn't say that I dislike them, necessarily." I shrug. "I just don't click with them well, I guess. Angela is cool, and Eric isn't too bad, but the others are just so...I don't know. Jessica has to always be the center of attention, and Mike is overly flirtatious and too handsy for me."

"Handsy?" Embry questions, addressing me for the first time since out intial greeting outside of the theater. "Has he touched you?"

"It's nothing bad," I assure him. "It's just little things like trying to hold my hand or mess with my hair. Just weirds me out a bit."

"He still shouldn't be trying to touch you without your permission." He grumbles. "Someone needs to put him in his place."

"It's fine." I shrug. "He's harmless, just doesn't understand boundaries." Before he can say anything else, the food arrives.

"Is there anything else I can get for you?" The waitress asks after placing all of the food on the table. A chorus of "no's" and "no thank you's" float around the table. "Okay. Just call for me if you need me." As soon as she walks away, we all dig in.

"I am stuffed!" I exclaim after taking the last bite of pasta on my plate. There's still half a dish of pasta and a full pizza left on the table, but at the rate that the boys are eating, I'm positive it will be gone soon.

"You humans and your small appetites." Quil laughs around a mouth full of pizza. His comment earns him a harsh glare from the others.

"Humans?" I laugh at his strange words. "What are you, then? A dog." The table falls quiet as the four share a look before breaking out into nervous laughter. Ignoring their weird response, I change the subject.

"So, what is school like on the reservation?" I ask.

"Boring," Jared replies. "And a lot smaller than public schools."

"What do you do for fun?"

"We spend a lot of time hanging out with our friend Sam and his fiancee, Emily, at their place. It's our home away from home." He answers.

"Or going cliff jumping." Paul adds.

"Cliff jumping?" My eyes widen as I repeat the words back to him. "Is that even safe?"

"No, but it's fun as hell." Quil chuckles. "Gives you a huge adrenaline rush. You should come with us and give it a try some time."

"Absolutely not." Embry interjects, shutting down his suggestion before I can answer for myself. "She could get seriously injured, if she doesn't die from it."

"She'll be fine." Paul jumps in. "Jacob's little leech lover did it and survived."

"Barely." Embry scoffed. "Jacob had to pull her out and perform mouth-to-mouth on her."

"Well, it's a good thing she will be with us then." Paul responds cheekily. "What do you say, Y/N? I don't mind providing a little mouth-to-mouth if necessary."

"I'll pass."

"You should come hang out on the rez, then? At Sam and Emily's place." Jared suggests.

"I don't know." I shake my head. "I don't want to intrude. You seem like a really tight-knit group."

"It's fine." He waves me off. "You'll fit right in." A smug look flickers across his face, as if he knows something that I don't.

"Maybe, but not tonight. I need to get home soon."

"Of course." Jared nods. "Let's pay the bill and then we can head out."

• ───────────────────────────── •

"Are you sure this is okay? They won't mind that I'm here?" I ask Quil as we make our way up the drive way toward Sam and Emily's house.

"Of course not." He gives me a reassuring smile. "We've told them all about you, and they are excited to meet you. Emily's happy to have another female to hang out with. Something about there being too much testosterone around here." He rolls his eyes laughing. "Word of advice though. Don't stare at Emily's face. It pisses Sam off."

"Noted." I nod as we walk up the steps.

"Honey, I'm home!" Quil shouts into the house as he throws the door open.

"Please leave." Paul deadpans.

"Hi! You must be Y/N." A woman greets warmly as she makes her way across the kitchen, making sure to smack Paul in the back of the head and telling him to be nice. "I'm Emily Young." She introduces herself as she pull me into a hug.

"Yes, I am." I nod smiling, reciprocating her hug. "Nice to meet you."

"I'm Sam Uley." A man steps up next to her, greeting me as he does. "That's Seth and Leah Clearwater," He gestures to two other unfamiliar faces sitting at the kitchen table. "And you know the rest of the hooligans."

"Hooligans?" Jared scoffs. "I'll have you know that I am a very distinguished young man." He says as he adjusts his invisible tie.

"Yeah, maybe compared to a caveman." Paul retorts, causing Jared to retaliate by intiating a wrestling match in the small kitchen.

"Enough, you two." Sam barks, trying and failing to hide his amusement at their antics.

"Come sit." Emily turns to me, gently ushering me to the only empty chair at the table, which happens to be right next to Embry.

"Hey," He greets in a quiet whisper as I take a seat.

"Hey."

"Are you okay?" He questions, a look of concern on his features.

"Yeah," I nod. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You just seem a little tense." He answers. "And they can be a lot sometimes, even for someone like me who has spent years dealing with them."

"I'm okay," I assure him with a smile. He simply nods before turning to finish his lunch as Emily sets a plate down in front of me.

"I'm not sure if you've eaten already but I saved a plate for you." She explains. "Food doesn't last long around here with all of these men so I made sure to put some aside when I heard you were coming."

"I'm starving, actually. I haven't eaten yet today." I reply. "Thank you!"

"You haven't eaten? Like, at all?" The boy named Seth asks from his spot opposite of me.

"No." I shake my head. "I was up late last night writing a paper for my English class and started working on it again as soon as I woke up. I guess I got a little too carried away and forgot to eat anything. But hey! At least I finished my paper. Four days early at that."

"You should still make sure you're eating properly though." Embry states.

"Of course." I nod in agreement. "It's a bad habit I've been trying to kick for years. Once I get locked in on something, it's hard to step away. My mom has lectured me, like, a million times about it."

"So it happens often, is what I'm hearing." Emily steps in, her mom voice making an appearance."

"More often then it should." I respond sheepishly.

"That settles it then." She shakes her head in disbelief. "I'm now making it my personal duty to make sure you are eating three full meals a day. Can't have you getting sick on us."

"You don't have to do that." I argue.

"I know I don't have to, but we take care of our own around here. I know you're new to the group, but I already consider you one of us." She explains, her tone leaving no room fro argument.

"Okay." A blush warms my cheeks as I finally begin to dig into my food.

"Embry." Sam calls his name from where he stands by the kitchen door. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

He responds with a nod before rising from his chair and following Sam outside. They are standing on the porch right outside the door, speaking in hushed whispers. As the conversation goes on, Embry seems to grow increasingly frustrated or angry, I assume by the expressions on his face. A few more words are shared between the two before Embry stomps off the porch and Sam returns to the kitchen, letting out a heavy sigh as he enters. The others give him a questioning look, but all he does is shake his head in response.

"What are you doing tonight?" He asks, coming to sit at the table next to Emily.

"Nothing really." I shrug. "Planned on just hanging out at home and reading a book."

"Lame!" Quil and Jared shout simultaneously.

"I'm hosting a bonfire tonight if you would like to join."

"Please do!" Emily almost begs. "You can meet the other girls as well. Kim and Rachel, Jared's and Paul's girlfriends."

"Sure," I nod. "Why not?"

"Perfect!" She smiles. "Would you like to run into town with me? I need to grab some groceries for the barbeque."

"Of course. I don't have anything else to do."

"Let me go grab my purse."

• ───────────────────────────── •

"Hey, Emily. Can I ask you something?" I ask as we walk down another aisle to grab the things she needs.

"Ask away."

"Does Embry not like me or something?" I question. "Like, did I do something wrong? Or offend him in some way?"

"Of course not." She shakes her head at my words. "Why would you think that?"

"I don't know." I shrug, nervously fidgeting with the loose threads on my sweater. "He just seems closed off when I'm around. I just thought maybe it was something I did."

"That's just Embry." She reassures me. "He's always been more of an introvert compared to the other guys."

"You sure?"

"I'm positive." She stops walking and turns to face me. "Don't read too much into it. Just give him time. He'll come around." I nod in response, choosing to trust her words and expel those negative thoughts from my head. "Now come on, we only have a few more things to grab and I'm afraid those bozos might destroy the house if they are left alone too long." She giggles as she begins walking again, me following close behind.

When we return to the house, the guys are horsing around outside, as Emily and I head to the kitchen to put everything away. Once all of the groceries are in their rightful place, she begins to prep what will be needed for dinner.

"Is there anything I can help with?"

"No, I got it, but thanks." She politely declines. "Why don't you head outside. Or you can hang out in the living room and watch some TV. Whatever you want to do."

"You sure?"

"Yep."

I begin to make my way towards the door to go outside when I notice Embry sitting on the couch by himself. I hesitate briefly before making up my mind and stepping towards the living room instead.

"Hi, Embry." I speak softly, as not to startle him.

"Hey, Y/N." He greets, glancing at me over his shoulder and then turning his attention back towards the TV.

"What're watching?"

"Nothing, really. Just flipping through channels to see if anything good is on. So far, I've found nothing." He shrugs.

"Do you mind if I join you?"

"No, I don't mind." He scoots over to make room on the couch. We fall into a tense silence as he continues to flip through channels before he finally settles on a true crime show.

"Are you excited for the bonfire?" He asks, finally breaking the silence and turning his head to look at me, our gazes interlocking.

"Yeah, actually. I am." I reply, smiling. This is the first time we've had an actual conversation together since the one we had on the night we met and I can't help but feel giddy about it.

"Good." He nods, he lifts one of his hands to tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "You look beautiful, by the way."

"Oh, uh, thank you." I can feel my cheeks heat up instantly. "You do, too. Look handsome, I mean. Not beautiful. Not that you aren't beautiful, I just-" I blush harder as I stumble over my words.

"Thank you." He interrupts, chuckling softly.

Our conversation dies out as we stare into each other's eyes. However, the silence this time is much more comfortable. Without realizing it, we had begun to lean into each other. So close that our noses are almost touching.

"Can I-" Embry begins to speak but is cut off as Sam's voice carries through from the kitchen.

"Embry, come out. I need your help gathering the fire wood."

"Okay, be right there." He replies, backing away. "I'll talk to you in a bit, okay?"

"Okay. Yeah." I nod, another blush dusting my cheeks as I start to think about what would have happened if Sam hadn't come in.

Embry then gets up from his spot beside me, leaving me with a soft smile and following Sam out the door.

• ───────────────────────────── •

The bonfire burns brightly, providing some warmth against the chilly night air. I sit with the other girls, talking and laughing as the guys kick around a soccer ball off to the side. Just like Emily, Kim and Rachel are kind and inviting, making it easy to fall into comfortable conversation. Even Leah, despite her quiet nature.

"So, you and Embry, huh?" Rachel nudges my side gently with her elbow, wiggling her eyebrow suggestively.

"What about me and Embry?" I ask confused.

"Are y'all, like, a thing?" Kim is the one to ask the question.

"Oh, no. Definitely not." I shake my head, laughing at the incredulousness of the idea. "If you haven't noticed, he barely speaks to me."

"Which is kind of crazy to me because the guy can barely keep his eyes off of you." Rachel says.

"Right!" Kim exclaims. "Glad I'm not the only one who noticed."

"You're seeing things." I argue.

"But you like him though, don't you?" Leah asks.

"Would you think I'm crazy if I said yes?" I bite my lip nervously. "He. doesn't even give me the time if day. Today was the first time we've held a conversation that was longer than three words since the night we met, but I can't help but be drawn to him. Like some kind of invisible string is keeping me tied to him. I sound weird and obsessive, don't I?" I sigh, feeling embarrassed at my admission.

"Not at all." Emily smiles, providing me with some comfort. "Like I said earlier, just give him a little time."

"You should-" Before Rachel can finish what she is going to say, they sound of men arguing grabs all of our attention.

"I said back off, Paul!" Embry shouts angrily at his friend.

Paul laughs menacingly. "Oh yeah? Or what?"

Embry lets out what I can only describe as a deep growl as his body begins to shake in anger.

"Careful there, Call." He says mockingly. "Don't want to lose your cool in front of your girlfriend." Those words seem to be the final trigger, because on my next breath, Embry's clothes shred to pieces as he turns into a giant wolf.

All of the air leaves my lungs as the scene unfolds. Paul is next, shifting into a massive beast in the blink of an eye, right as Embry lunges for him. The two begin to fight, large jaws snapping at each other as they roll on the ground.

"What the actual fuck?" I whisper as I finally catch my breath.

"Leah, Emily." Sam calls. "Get her inside." As soon as the words leave his mouth, a black wolf, larger than the other two, takes the place where his once human form stood. The others soon follow, beginning to chase after the two who have now managed to tumble into the forest.

"Can someone please explain to me what the hell just happened?" I gasp out as we make our way into the living room.

"It's not really our place to say, but Sam can as soon as he gets back." Emily places a comforting yet firm hand on my shoulder, forcing me to take a seat on the couch.

"They're not gonna kill each other, are they?" The horrifying thought leaves my lips before I can stop it.

"No," Rachel shakes her head. "They'll be fine. This actually happens quite often."

"That doesn't make me feel any better." I look at her as if she is insane."

"Sam will calm them down, and then they will all return safely. Not scratch or bruise in sight." Kim explains. I nod, taking a deep breath.

"So they're werewolves?"

"We prefer the term 'Shifter'." Leah states.

"Can all of you do that?"

"Nope. Just me and the guys."

"You're the only female that can turn into a wolf?"

"The only one known." She nods.

"Okay." I nod, trying to process the new found information. "Wow! This is a lot to take in."

"You're handling it pretty well, though." Kim giggles. "I half expected you to run off screaming."

We sit waiting for about ten minutes, them answering the questions they are allowed to answer, before the door swings open. Jared, Quil, and Seth walk into the house, Sam, Paul, and Embry moments after.

"Sorry about that, Y/N." Paul laughs as he throws himself down on the floor in front of where Rachel sits.

"No problem." I respond before turning my attention towards Sam.

"I'm sure you have a few questions."

"That's the understatement of the century." Sam chuckles at my response as he begins to explain everything. Their history, abilities, what causes the first shift, what triggers every shift after, how they control it. He goes on for what feels like half an hour until he feels that he has covered everything.

"Now that that is out of the way, there is one more thing you must know, but it's best if you and Embry discuss that privately."

"Um...okay?" I turn to look at Embry, who is still standing next to the door.

"Can I give you a ride home?" He asks. "I'll explain on the way there."

"Sure." I nod, standing from the couch. "Thanks for inviting me. Despite all of the chaos, I really enjoyed spending time with you all."

"Of course, Y/N." Sam smiles gently. "You're welcome any time."

• ───────────────────────────── •

The first ten minutes of the twenty-minute drive pass in silence. Neither of us willing to break it, but eventually I speak, not being able to stand the tension anymore.

"Embry?" I call his name softly, my voice coming out as almost a whisper. "There was something you wanted to tell me."

"'Want' isn't exactly the word I would use, but I don't really have a choice." He sighs heavily. "For starters, I want to apologize. I didn't want to drag you into this. I tried to keep my distance, but my friends were hellbent on playing matchmakers. If it had been up to me, tonight wouldn't have ever happened."

"Oh." His words trigger an ache in my chest.

"It's not that there is anything wrong with you. You're great, actually. It's just that I didn't want to bring you into my world because it's too dangerous for you."

"Dangerous? How? What does any of this have to do with me?"

"That leads to my next point. There is this thing that us Shifters do. It's called imprinting." He explains as he slows the car down before pulling over to the side of the road and putting the car in park.

"Imprinting?" I ask as he turns to me, eyes locking onto mine.

"Yeah. In looser terms, it's kind of like finding our soulmate. The one person we are destined to be with. When we find our imprint, they instantly become the one thing in this world that we would do anything for. We will become anything they want or need us to be. A protector, a friend, a lover. They become the center of our whole world. The gravity that holds us to the Earth. Everything and everyone in our lives suddenly comes second to them."

"Are you saying that-"

"Yes," He nods, responding before I can finish my sentence as if he had read my mind. "That night we first met, on the beach in La Push, I imprinted on you. It's not something we can control, it just happens. We don't choose who we imprint on. The moment I looked into your eyes, my fate was sealed."

"Is that why you avoided me? Did you want it to be someone else?"

"No." He shakes his head. "I was avoiding you because bringing you into all of this is dangerous. There are other supernatural beings that exist, and just you breathing puts you in danger because of the connection we have."

"Other supernatural beings? Like what?"

"Vampires. Those are our biggest enemies and what triggered out phases."

"Vampires," I mutter his words back to him in disbelief. "Here in Forks?" He nods in response.

"So if you don't have control over the bond, what would happen if I didn't want it?" I question. "Not saying that I don't, just asking." I quickly explain.

"You could reject it, but it wouldn't be easy. For either of us. The longer we spend apart, the more it will begin to hurt. Not just emotionally but physically too. We would both grow weaker, and it would affect my shifting and other abilities."

"Wow."

"And I'm not saying that to scare you at all, just answering your question honestly."

"So what does that mean for us?"

"What do you want it to mean? Like I said, you are now my sole purpose of living. Your safety and well-being, your life, are now my greatest priority. I will be whatever you need me to be."

"Okay. So, if I wanted to pursue something romantically, would you only be doing it because you have to? Because I actually really like you. Like a lot. But I don't want to force you into anything that you don't actually want."

"I like you, too. And I'm not just saying that because of the bond. I do genuinely mean that. I know it didn't seem like it because of how I acted and how I treated you, but the more time I've spent around you, the more my feelings have grown. My feelings for you are real, they are just amplified by the connection we have."

"Okay."

"Is that want you want?" He asks. "To pursue this romantically?"

"Maybe." I shrug. "Do you?"

"I would like that." He smiles softly.

"Me too." I return with a smile of my own, subconsciously leaning closer to him. "We should probably take it slow though."

"Definitely." He responds, moving in more. Our noses brush gently as he speaks. "Would you be mad if I kissed you? Right now."

I shake my head at his question. "I think I would be more mad if you didn't"

That's all that needs to be said before he leans in the rest of the way and molds his lips softly to mine. Butterflies erupt in my stomach instantly. My body feels like it's on fire, but in a good way. His hand finds my cheek, angling me to deepen the kiss as both of mine find the nape of his neck, my fingers tangling in his hair.

Once we both run out of breath, he pulls back, pecking my lips a few more times.

"I should probably get you home." He whispers, resting his forehead against mine.

"Yeah, you probably should." I whisper back, brushing my lips against his softly. He groans softly, caving in and kissing me hard.

"Okay." He moves away to settle back into his seat. "For real, I need to get you home."

"Sorry." I blush.

"Don't apologize." He says. "I didn't mind at all. And now that I've gotten a taste of what its like to kiss you, I don't ever want to stop, but we've been sitting here for a while out in the middle of nowhere."

"You're right. Let's go."

The rest of the drive is spent with light conversation and giddy smiles shared between the two of us. He keeps my hand interlocked with his the whole time and places light pecks against the back of it every now and then. We finally make it to my house, much to my disappointment. Embry, being the gentleman he is, walks me to the door.

"I guess this is goodnight, then." He says, hands still holding mine tightly, as if he doesn't want to let go.

"I mean, it doesn't have to be." He quirks an eyebrow at the insinuation behind my words. "Do you want to come in?"

"I shouldn't." He shakes his head, releasing one of my hands so I can unlock my front door.

"But I think you should." I open the door, tugging on his hand as I step inside. I watch as he battles with whether he should decline or give in. I wait patiently as he makes his decision.

"Fuck it!" He finally says before diving in for a kiss, kicking the door closed behind us as we stumble into the house.

[ultravi0lence14]

Crush

dean winchester x fem!reader

2.6k | angst, fluff

summary: operation, have you and dean actually get along. that is all sam begged and pleaded to happen. though, it worked better than he initially had hoped.

sam believed that if he rolled his eyes anymore, they’d get stuck at the back of his head. he loved you, don’t get it twisted. it’s just that when you and dean were in the same room, things seemed to get a lot more. . . aggravating, to say it lightly.

the winchester brothers had met you around three years ago on a hunt in washington. a pesky demon is what brought you all together. well, it was more or less you and sam. dean was just an added on bonus that wasn’t really a bonus because you wanted to slap him across the face every ten seconds.

you and dean winchester hadn’t gotten along since the jump, and sam could easily vouch for the statement since he’d been in the middle of the lengthy feud for many years. dean was cocky, stubborn, and always had to be right, something you couldn’t stand. as someone who strived on being independent, a man like dean was a thorn in your side.

for years, anytime sam called you to help on a case, or you three were in the same place at the same time, you and dean would always end up in some kind of fight. whether it be his idea was better than yours or dean’s constant need to blare his music in the car it didn’t matter. you would always fight and sam would always dream of cutting his eyes out with a blunt butter knife

this hunt wasn’t any different. a witch had been using the residents of a small town in mississippi as her personal test dummy’s. droppings bodies left, right, and centre. so with a call from sam, you hopped on a bus and met the two brothers at their motel in kentucky, ready to join the hunt.

dean always teased you for not having a constant form of transportation, but you weren’t a douche who rode in a classic muscle car. especially one who was attached to it as a baby is to their bottle, so his digs just went completely deaf to you.

knocking on the winchester’s motel room door, sam greeted you with a gleaming smile on his face. arms extended for a hug, you cuddled into his chest and rested your head by his shoulder, catching a glimpse of dean shovelling a mini pie into his mouth.

when the older brother caught your eye, he just scoffed. hands moving to cross over his chest as you stepped away from sam and did the same.

“we really don’t need her help sammy.” dean practically snarled, mouth tilting up in a devious smirk. “she’s probably already got plans with all her little pals on the bus.”

sam just sighed, already mentally prepared for the kindergarten level digs you two were going to throw at each other. he almost left the room as he watched your shoulders square and your jaw clench. “oh very funny dean.” you retorted, hands resting in your pockets so you didn’t choke the man. “why don’t i just go slash all your tires? then maybe we can be bus buddies.”

“don’t you dare even think about touching my baby!” dean’s finger had lifted in the air in a pointing motion at you, and sam felt his hands lift up and slap against his thighs. “oh dear god, you guys are killing me! there’s people who need are help, and you two fighting like an old married couple isn’t going to help them.”

the sour look on your face when sam mentioned you and dean in the same sentence as married couple could’ve been made as a reaction photo, yet sam and dean didn’t acknowledge it as they led the way outside and to the infamous chevy impala.

nothing could ever prepare sam for the long car rides with you and his brother. it was either copious hours of bickering or a tense silence that had sam so uncomfortable he questioned if walking was a good idea.

this time the silence was so thick, sam genuinely reached his breaking point. Years of breaking up your arguments and having to be the middleman drove him to a dire conclusion; he needed to get you and Dean to like each other.

the plan was truly fool proof. force the two of you to work on the case together and boom, all the arguing and petty fights would be a faraway memory. sam had to contain his grin when he mentioned that interviewing the families is more of a one person job than going to the morgue. his grin didn’t leave his face even as he mentioned that he was better with comforting grieving families than either you or dean.

no words were spoken between you and dean in the car ride towards the morgue. in all honesty, you never knew what to say to the man. he was always angry, finding something to get mad about and always finding a way for it to be your fault.

truthfully, maybe that’s why you hated him. he never let you explain yourself, always jumping to conclusions and blaming you for the smallest things. if it wasn’t for his quick temper and communication issues, you’d probably have a huge crush on the man.

it was dean winchester at the end of the day. and as much of a dick as he was to you, you witnessed those moments he had with sam or with a family member or victim on a case where he wasn’t an absolute dickhead. it was sad really, how much dean hated you. sam spoke up and down that you and dean would be a great duo, yet you never got to prove him right or wrong since his older brother couldn’t go five minutes without arguing with you.

although, something you weren’t aware of was that dean’s thoughts were very similar to yours. he didn’t know why you got under his skin, yet he couldn’t stop thinking about you for weeks after you would leave.

the man knew there was nothing wrong with you. he was just stubborn, and pushing people away before he got too close to them was his specialty. what if you became someone special in his life? what if because of that, you died, and then dean would blame himself for the rest of his life.

it was easier to keep you at an arms length than to get too close, and yeah sam would say he was being childish, but dean didn’t really care. you hating him and staying alive was better than him meaning something to you and that being the reason you were dead.

the trip to the morgue was awkward for the better part. you were trying to rid your mind of any thoughts you had on dean in the car and the man in question was trying his best to remain a good foot away from you. both of you could tell that something had shifted in that stupid ten minute car ride, but neither of you wanted to bring it up.

sam knew something was up when he met with you and dean again. it wasn’t even close to his end goal, but he knew that he was getting close to the feud between you and dean to finally be over.

his final shove was suggesting that you and dean check out the home of moira carlson while he goes to talk to the sheriff in charge of the murders. an argument raged on, but begrudgingly, you and dean left together to go investigate the number one suspects home.

dean had gotten to the home in under ten minutes, and now you found yourself and dean sneaking around the back of mrs carlson’s home to slip in the back door.

a scoff could be heard behind you. and as you turned around, you saw dean with an exasperated look on his face. “jesus woman, can you breathe any louder?”

the pettiness of dean’s complaint just had you rolling your eyes, turning back so you could make your way to where the sliding back door was; unlocked thankfully.

moira carlson’s home definitely screamed evil witch who enjoys killing people. occult items and witchy like items were sprawled around the living and dining room. a big pot in the kitchen alongside weird looking herbs also tipped you off. you would’ve mentioned how cliche all of this was if dean didn’t drop and shatter a statue like a dumb ass.

“are you serious!” you exclaimed, whipping around to look at dean’s hunched figure, trying to clean the broken pieces of the statue in a hurry. “can you not be a complete oaf for one damn second?”

the eldest winchester just laughed humourlessly, standing back up with all the broken pieces in his hand. “i’m not the one stomping around like an ogre. she can be home for all we know.”

“coming from the guy with the cinder blocks for shoes.” you scoffed, both you and dean looking down at his monstrous boots. “all of this complaining is really rich coming from you, dean winchester.”

it seemed that at that very moment, dean had enough of your guys’ bickering. with a wild look in his eye, dean flew off the handle in a way that you probably wouldn’t be able to describe in full accuracy ever again. he started off with a disbelieved “really!” and then ranted on for longer than you ever could’ve pictured.

“how is it possible that you think i’m the one always complaining, miss whines a lot.” your eyes buggered out of your head as you looked on past dean. “you know, i’ve been keeping my cool for sammy’s sake but you are really a piece of work. i know i’m not the best person to be around 24/7 but cmon, can you not try and be civil for once?”

he kept going. yet you weren’t focused on whatever dean was saying, for moira carlson, in all of her evil witchy goodness, was coming up behind dean with a spell on her tongue that did not look friendly at all.

“dean.” you muttered, watching as the now ghastly looking woman got closer. he didn’t listen though, just threw his arms in the air and let his hands reside on his hips like a child. “oh so mature y/n. go on and interrupt me-“

“get down you idiot!” your body smacked down to the floor just as the witch threw dean across the room. poor bastard didn’t even have time to turn around. attempting to take shelter behind the sofa, you grabbed on to dean’s sprawled body and shuffled across the floor while trying to shoot at mrs carlson.

somehow, you got the two of you behind the sofa, propping dean in a sitting position before resting your body over the couch so you could take a shot. dean was frantically texting sam, warning his brother about what danger you two were in while wheezing in the air that got knocked out of his lungs.

with a mighty wave of her hand, the witch blew the couch into two pieces. dean’s body slumped back to the floor, too bruised and in pain to allow the man to even move a muscle. a loud cackle could be heard as mrs carlson moved in on dean, ready to deliver her final blow.

she was about to, if it wasn’t for your gun going off at the perfect time and striking her right in her forehead. the woman slumped to the ground beside dean, the man in question shimmying as far away from her as possible before you rushed over and propped him up on the nearest wall.

“oh god.” you mumbled, watching as dean nearly coughed up a lung. you knew he was okay, he took worse beating than this. it was just the fact of seeing him get thrown around like a rag doll that had an emotion bubbling to the forefront of your mind. one you never thought you’d experience towards dean.

waving you off, dean sat himself up straighter and took a deep intake of air. “i’m okay y/n, it’s fine. though you probably just saved my life.” dean all of a sudden had the realization that he didn’t need to be so closed off all this time. you could easily handle your own, and having someone like you would probably be the best thing that ever happened to him.

a sheepish blush rose to your cheeks as dean stared at you longer, and suddenly, you realized that maybe the man wasn’t as bad as you initially thought. deep down, you cared about him. yeah, you two could fight like cats and dogs, but so does everyone. at the end of the day, you would always be there for dean and he’d do the same for you.

“i’m sorry for how i’ve treated you these past couple of years.” your random word vomit had dean snapping his head up, eyes wide and mouth agape as he stared at your nervous features. “i know you have your own way of doing things and i shouldn’t pester you about everything. it sucks that you probably still hate me, but can we please work on us-“

“i never hated you.” dean cut you off so quickly it was almost like he couldn’t bare hold down those words any longer. your nervous face turned shocked, and suddenly dean had the confidence to say what he always wanted to. “ever since i was young, every person i’ve ever cared about either leave’s or dies, and i somehow just knew that you were special the first moment i met you.” a somber smile appeared on your face, and you found yourself moving closer and closer to dean as he continued to speak.

“i’m sorry i never gave you a chance sweetheart, but would you give me one now?” you didn’t have to be asked twice, for in an instant you perched yourself in dean’s lap and smashed your lips onto his.

dean didn’t take long to reciprocate your actions. hands moving to go around your waist and nestle in your hair while your own gripped tightly onto his t shirt. dean’s mouth was exploring all the places he wished he could’ve kissed you sooner. your soft lips, all around your face. when he moved on to placing sloppy kisses on your neck, you felt the vibrations of his voice against your skin as he kept mumbling. ‘so perfect’ and ‘you’re so beautiful, everything i could ever dream of.’

unknown to the two of you, sam had just walked in the front door and was ready to defend you all against the destructive witch. though to his surprise — and slight disgust if he was being honest, he stepped into the living room to see you and dean behind a destroyed couch. the two of you were heavily making out and dean just put it upon himself to wrap his one arm around the underside of your ass, hoisting you further up on his body and giving it a firm squeeze in the process.

“well fuck.” sam mumbled to himself, slightly gagging up his salad from lunch as he watched dean pull your head back by a tuft of your hair and start leaving trails of hickeys down your neck.

“yeah, that’s enough of that.” the youngest winchester just silently mumbled to himself as he walked back outside the front door, leaving you and dean in the middle of a random house to sort out all of your pent up feelings in a way he definitely shouldn’t be seeing.

[cheriladycl01]

My love, is mine all mine - Max Verstappen x Norris! Reader x Charles Leclerc Part 8

Plot: Norris' Twin sister is also a driver in the 2021 line up and is in her rookie era. Not only do the commentators struggle to now talk about the pair in the race, but they also struggle to talk about talent. What happens when two drivers find her eye-catching.

A/N: I've brought Luisia into things because of the timeline and it being 2021. Don't hate on her, or the fact that i've brought her into my writing please!

Because there was a break you decided it would be best to stay away from social media and take some time for yourself. You promised your trainer you'd keep up with the healthy diet and exercises and but just wanted to get away from normality.

So you got to Heathrow with an large backpack and took the first flight leaving to Colomia. You spent the week climbing mountains in the Andes with a trusted tour guide you'd found while you were out there. Just the two of you as you didn't feel up for the big group excursions.

The man who'd walked the volcano peak with you had known who you were but kept it to himself talking about his life and what Colombia was like, which you enjoyed as you got to learn about his life and what he did.

You spent the week away from the harsh media fully diving into the South American culture and making connections all over Bogota. It was refreshing being away for an extended period of time and you felt more than ready to go back to racing.

You'd flown back home, saying a quick hello and goodbye to your parents before getting in your McLaren and driving to dover, you'd wanted to spend time getting to Hungry and drive yourself which a lot of the drivers would find incredibly bizarre as you'd be doing 6+ hours over the course of three days. Which to the average driver would seem easy but with how hot the car got and how hard it was to drive an F1 car compared to a normal car all mattered.

You’d made your way into France getting a picture on the bonnet of your car outside a random small town cafe.

Instagram Story Caption:

It’s been a while huh? 🤔 Gotta love a long drive to my next location 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿-> 🇭🇺

People were going crazy that you were back (fans more than anyone) and that night in your hotel room that was above the same bar you posted a photo dump from your time in Colombia.

y/user

Liked by charleslecerc, landonorris and others

y/user: Colombia 🇨🇴 you have been beautiful. From the beaches, to the walks up the mountains to the locals that expressed their love and showed me their cultures and invited me into their homes … I will be revisiting! One of my favourite places in the world! 🌍🧡

View all Comments:

fan1: omg I’m from Colombia! How didn’t I know you were there!

landonorris: so you’ve been on holidays? 🫨

-> y/user: whilst training of course! Don’t worry I’ll get you this weekend brother 👀🧐

fan2: I love that she’s taken time for herself she looks so healthy in that photo on her story!

-> fan3: so real she’s gonna slay in Hungary 🇭🇺 roll on Qually.

-> fan4: I have a good feeling about this weekend!

luisinhaoliveira99: Ola Y/N! Pretty Pretty!

-> y/user: Ah my favrioute girl!

charlesleclerc: Driving to Hungary? Wanna divert and give me a lift.

You seen Charles comment almost instantly and everyone else had too. You messaged him as you couldn't tell if he was being genuine or not. You were more than happy to make the detour to the Meditteranean side of France. It was one of your favrioute places to drive along.

He'd messaged you back not too long after and you couldn't help the smile that came across your face when you saw the message.

Your detour took you down through France driving through Nice and straight into Monaco where you drove around the roads that you'd driven in F1 for the first time not to long ago. The thought of going back round it next year was exciting. Once you pulled up outside the casino Charles gracefully waltzed over.

"Is that all?" you also looking at the small bag he had brought with him.

"Well... you're driving a sports car darling. Despite us touring Europe in a McLaren i cannot pack my entire wardrobe!" he smiles and takes a seat next to you.

"So what route are we taking" he asks turning his face to look at you and for a second you are stuck in the moment of looking at his eyes, and how soft they are, noticing the crows feet on the sides as he smiles reminding you what a happy soul he always seems to be.

You drove off, gulping down the ache in your heart knowing it wasn't right to rush anything based on what happened in the past, but also there was something drawing you to Charles and the more he weened his way into your life the harder he became to ignore.

The route you took was interesting. You passed Monaco into Italy and continued up to Milan, across to Venice up into Austria where you headed to Vienna and then down to Budapest ready for the GP, in total with all the stops it became a 4 day drive. You'd stopped in random cities finding hotel rooms at 11 pm when either of you were too tired to drive and small restaurants in the countryside when you both got hungry. It was enjoyable, more than enjoyable really.

Spending time just the two of you away from the media was exactly what you both needed. You guys just talked without the pressure of people around and it was nice. You both had a lot to stay but strangely by the end of it, it felt like not everything had been said.

Maybe the weekend at the GP would let that string unravel a little more.

Taglist:

@littlebitchsposts @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @daemyratwst @lauralarsen @the-untamed-soul @thewulf @itsjustkhaos @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @summissss @gulphulp @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhhhh @georgeparisole @youcannotcancelquidditch @tallbrownhairsarcastic @ourteenagetragedy @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @dark-night-sky-99 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @laneyspaulding19 @malynn @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @tinydeskwriter @ironmaiden1313 @splaterparty0-0 @formula1mount

[baigepueckers]

Caitlin Clark X Reader

Courtside Baby Blues

The game had just ended. You stood at the edge of the court, mic in hand, comms piece tucked behind your ear, trying to look calm even though you were definitely sweating under your blazer. And not because of the arena lights.

Nope.

You were sweating because your five month old son was currently asleep, strapped to your chest in a gray baby sling, his tiny body tucked against yours. You could feel the damp heat of his breath against your collarbone. His noise canceling baby headphones…blue and oversized…slid slightly, but he hadn’t stirred.

You glanced down, bouncing ever so slightly on your heels while adjusting the camera mic. Your producer’s voice crackled in your earpiece.

“Caitlin’s coming. You’re up in thirty seconds. You’re good?”

You smiled, even though your nerves were screaming.

“I’m good.”

You weren’t supposed to bring him. But your sitter texted three hours before tipoff…vomiting, fever, “I’m so sorry.” Your backup was out of town. Your mother was unreachable. And you didn’t want to call out.

So, you packed Levi’s headphones. His emergency bottle. His favorite teether. The sling. You weren’t the first working mom to bring a baby on the job. And you wouldn’t be the last.

Still…you knew people would stare.

The players. The fans. Caitlin Clark.

You spotted her before the camera did. She walked off the court with a towel slung around her neck, her long ponytail sticking to the sweat on her shoulders, head tilted in that easy post game grin. She’d just dropped 31 with six assists and three logo threes that made the crowd go feral. And yet…when she saw you, something in her expression shifted.

Her gaze dipped. Paused.

On your son.

On the slow rise and fall of his tiny chest, the soft baby hand peeking out from the edge of your blazer, the curve of his little ear beneath those too big headphones.

She blinked, before meeting your eyes again.

“Hey,” she greeted, voice still a little breathless from the game.

“Hey, Caitlin,” you smiled, projecting calm. “Y/N Y/L/N with WESPN. You’ve got a baby watching tonight, so I expect full effort.”

That earned a laugh from her and a curious glance downward. “He’s…is he asleep right now?”

You chuckled, hand instinctively smoothing over your son’s tiny back. “Out cold. Which is a miracle, honestly.”

“Wow.” Caitlin shook her head, eyebrows raised in admiration. “That’s… impressive.”

The camera light turned red. You were live.

“Caitlin Clark joining us after another standout performance,” you said, eyes flicking from the camera to her. “Thirty one points tonight, some ridiculously deep threes, and another win on your home court. How would you describe the rhythm you’re finding so early in the season?”

Caitlin nodded, slipping back into pro mode, but still sneaking glances at the small bundle sleeping against your chest.

“I think it’s coming from a lot of film work,” she began. “We’ve been studying how teams defend high pick and rolls, so I’ve been working on creating separation early. Also helps when shots are just…falling.”

You nodded along. “You’ve always been confident from range, but tonight felt like you had even more space than usual. What are you reading from defenses right now?”

“They’re still deciding whether to trap or stay back, so I’m trying to read that on the fly. Once I see hesitation, I know it’s time to pull.”

Your son stirred.

Your hand instantly left the mic and curled against his tiny back, rubbing slow, practiced circles. Caitlin’s eyes followed the motion just for a second. Your fingers were soft, your voice steady.

“Shh… it’s okay, baby,” you whispered under your breath, low enough not to get picked up by the mic, but Caitlin heard it anyway. Her jaw twitched like she didn’t expect to hear that in the middle of a basketball interview.

He settled again with a little sigh. Caitlin gave the tiniest smile, warm and a little stunned.

You jumped back in smoothly. “Now, on the other side of the ball you took a charge in the third quarter that shifted momentum. Can you talk about how your defensiveness has evolved?”

“Yeah, that one hurt,” she said, grinning and pressing a hand to her ribs. “But I’ve been trying to bring more energy on that end. It’s easy to coast on offense when shots are falling, but I want to be the kind of player who makes game winning plays without the ball, too.”

As she spoke, Levi shifted again this time letting out a tiny, high pitched noise. Not a cry. Just a baby sigh that came with a brief wiggle and a pout.

You rocked slightly, instinctive. Bounced just a bit.

The movement wasn’t exaggerated. It was subtle. Gentle. You didn’t miss a beat.

But Caitlin did.

She trailed off at the end of her sentence and watched you, openly now, like she wasn’t trying to pretend anymore. She was mesmerized. You could feel it.

You offered her a soft smile. “Sorry. He likes to make his presence known sometimes.”

“No, don’t apologize,” Caitlin said quickly, almost bashfully. “He’s uh. He’s great.”

You wrapped up the interview professionally, thanking her, giving her space to wave to fans. The camera cut.

But Caitlin stayed.

“I wasn’t expecting this” she said after a moment, her voice lower now, more personal.

“Me neither,” you admitted. “But, you know. He’s a pretty flexible intern.”

That made her laugh. “He’s definitely cuter than most of your coworkers.”

You smiled, a little more quietly this time. “Thanks. He’s the best part of me.”

There was a moment. A pause. Caitlin glanced at Levi again, his tiny fist curled against your chest, his nose scrunched in sleep. She looked like she didn’t want to leave.

“Can I ask something?” she said.

“Sure.”

Her voice dipped into something shy. “Do you ever, like…get to do stuff? Just for you?”

You blinked. “Sometimes. Not often. I’m kind of still figuring out the balance.”

Caitlin nodded slowly. Then swallowed. “If you ever want company…like, coffee, or something outdoorsy, somewhere kid friendly… I’d love to hang out. Just you and him. Or just you. If that’s not weird.”

You felt your heart flutter.

“You want to get coffee with a reporter who interviews you for a living?”

“I want to get coffee with you,” she said, simply. “And the little guy, too. If I’m lucky.”

You smiled.

“He’s picky about who he likes,” you teased. “But I think he already approves.”

Levi stirred again, and Caitlin leaned forward without thinking, just a bit, like maybe, just maybe, she wanted to see if he’d open his eyes. But he didn’t.

Still, she looked enchanted.

You bounced gently, gaze meeting hers. “We’re free Friday morning.”

Caitlin’s smile spread slow and certain. “Friday it is.”

[hwaslayer]

wildfire (cs) | eighteen. (final)

—spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.

—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 4.7k

—chapter content/warnings: very light cussing, mature language, first bit is a dream oc had in the morning, the lovebirds are overseas celebrating a lot of VERY important things, yes he does!! just yes 🤭😗, a pretty intimate & sweet shower together but nothing too crazy, lots of kisses and sweet moments per usual!!

—a/n: and.. that's a wrap, loves! i figured i'd end this on a sweet, cute note just cause it made more sense to me. thank you so, so much for your love on this series. it was a fun & wild ride, & i'll truly miss 'em! gonna take a little breather, but once i'm able to catch my breath, i'll be back with more hwa, joong, and yuyu content. maybe some drabbles for our wildfire lovebirds if life lets me. lol stay tuned 💕

—THIS MORNING'S DREAM

The redwoods.

You find yourself staring out into the redwoods. In a room. No one but yourself in the quiet space. 

You don't exactly know where you're at, the place doesn't seem entirely familiar; but, everything about it is beautiful. There's beautiful, tall trees ahead, some bent in a peculiar form, but they do well for the setting. Beyond it is an amazing view of the lush, green hills and a small town below. The sun isn't shining bright, and there are some clouds lingering— but the weather feels perfect. It's not too cold, not too hot. There are a million bright string lights hanging above, along with white drapes. There are all sorts and sizes of candles lining the rows of chairs, split in the middle with plants and baby pink, white, cream colored rose petals colorfully painting the aisle. The chairs are a dark wood, with white backs and cushions. 

"Are you ready, pretty girl?" You're pulled out of your thoughts when your mom shuts the door  behind her and comes close. She's wearing the most elegant one shoulder dress that falls to her feet, hair pulled back in a tight, low bun. She's got gold jewelry on her hands, wrist. Her nails a beautiful french-tip, red lipstick painting her lips. Makeup natural. All to match her white dress.

"Yeah, I think so." You respond softly, hands smoothing out the material beneath you. It's a lace corset top that falls off your shoulders and into long-sleeves. The bottom of your dress is a silk, milky white. The dress hugs your form perfectly. Curves and all. Makeup also beautifully done, yet natural.

Just enough.

"You look so, so beautiful, hunbun. Just so gorgeous, I can't believe today is the day already." Your mom covers her mouth with her hand, looking up to prevent the tears from flowing. "God, my makeup." You laugh.

"Stop, you're gonna make me cry." You also look up and fan at your face, doing a good job of holding it in. Keeping it together. "Okay, let's go before this gets too much for the both of us." She laughs and you link arms together, walking out of the room after she gives you a quick cheek-to-cheek kiss. She walks you towards the main doors before giving the coordinator at the door a curt nod. She does one last look over, smoothing down your dress before the doors fly open and the entire group is looking at you.

Waiting for you to walk down the aisle.

Because at the end, San is waiting there.

With your bridesmaids, his groomsmen.

As you and your mom slowly walk down the aisle and make eye contact with the crowd around you, San begins to cry, his cheeks a rosy tint. He has to look down and try to gather himself, but he can't. He simply can't.

You are literally his dream girl, and you're walking down the aisle to marry him.

"I love you." Your mom quickly whispers as she presses her cheek to yours again before handing you off to San, also giving him a cheek kiss. 

"Baby." San whispers as he grabs your hand, his eyes still teary, but full of so much love, adoration and happiness.

"Hi." You giggle, no longer being able to hold back the tears you've been trying to hold onto.

"You're so beautiful. I love you." He mouths out just as the presider begins.

—END OF DREAM

"Ready, baby?" You snap out of your thoughts, realizing you were just about to dab on more lip gloss and put on some earrings before you got sidetracked and started to revisit your dream from this morning. San stands there, tying his tie while eyeing you up and down. "Good lord. That dress looks so good on you." His eyes trail down the simple, but elegant and beautiful long, black dress.

"Sannie." You laugh, finally gliding the wand over your lips before pressing them together and spreading it evenly. "Promise I'm ready now."

"We have a few minutes to spare." San shuts the bathroom door behind him, sporting a smart ass smirk.

"Weren't you just asking me if I was ready? Besides, we don't actually have a few minutes to spare—" San whines.

"Don't be like that."

"Choi San." You giggle when San rests his hands on your hips, pressing light kisses against your jaw and neck. "Stop it, we should go get your mom. She's probably wondering where we're at."

"No, she's not—" At this point, San's phone vibrates, signaling a text from his mom. "Yes, she is." He retracts and sighs, making you laugh.

"Let's go." You tap his chest, gently kissing him on the lips before wiping off the sparkly lipgloss that's lightly coating the surface of his pink, plump lips. 

"By the way, what were you thinking about in there?"

"How'd you know?"

"I don't think it takes you that long to put on lip gloss." You laugh.

"I had a dream." 

"Yeah? Wanna tell me about it?" You think for a second, shaking your head.

"Later." He nods. San throws on his blazer before slipping his hand into yours. Heading out of your hotel suite, you and San walk down the hall to meet his mom in a separate room that was booked by the foundation's hosts.

Today, San would be receiving another big award in Paris, probably one of the biggest in recent times— one that was enough for hosts to cover the business class flights for the three of you, and the suites for you, San and his mom. Ground transportation covered. Meals. 

Everything you could think of to make this time special for all of you, but especially San.

The award ceremony would be held in about two hours in the Grand Ballroom downstairs, with San having to take photos and do a press interview beforehand. You couldn't be any more proud, and there are no words to capture how you feel about all of San's many achievements and milestones within the year and a half. 

You squeeze his hand as he knocks on his mom's room door, greeting her with a big smile when she swings the door open and reveals her beautiful black, rhinestone dress. She has a shawl over her shoulders, hair combed neatly and left down. Clutch bag in hand.

"My San." She says, cupping his cheek and pressing a small kiss to the surface before moving past him to greet you. "Oh, sweetheart. You look so beautiful." She pulls you in for a hug and a kiss to the cheek as well.

"So do you, mom." You respond, squeezing her hand.

"We've got a big night in front of us." She smirks at San before leading the way to the elevators around the corner.

"Yup." San pops the 'p' at the end, shifting his weight from one foot to another.

"Nervous?" You squeeze his bicep and he shakes his head.

"No." He jokes and gives you a look before sighing and admitting defeat. "Yeah. Yeah I am."

"You'll do amazing, hun. You've gone through your speech a few times already, just let it flow naturally, okay?" His mom chimes in and reassures him. "It'll all go smoothly."

"Thank you, mom."

"Love you, my boy. Very proud of you."

"Love you, too." He gives her a toothless smile before looking down at you and pressing his lips to your forehead. "Really appreciate you guys being here with me."

"Course, love." You answer just as you step out of the elevator. The group walks next into the room adjacent to the Grand Ballroom, where San would be taking photos and doing his press interview. He's immediately greeted by members of the hosting foundation, San introducing you and his mother right away. They quickly touch him up with very light stage makeup before taking him to the backdrop area. He takes a few shots on his own with the award before the foundation leadership team surrounds him in the next few photos. They call for you to step in, then his mom, followed by the three of you all together. When it's time for San to do his press interview with the group, you and his mom sit off to the side— listening intently. He talks about his childhood, still recognizing and praising his dad for being his role model throughout his life despite him not physically being here to support his own son.

It's a shame San's dad chose not to come.

You know San would've really appreciated it, but he knows he can't get his hopes up with him. Ever. He is the way that he is, and there's no changing that.

And even with bright eyes and a big smile, San continues to talk about him and how it shaped his career, his perspective on things. You can tell it hurts him, and you can tell it hurts his mom, too. But, he carries on with the same grace that he always has, laughing and continuing to lift spirits of everyone in the room even though it's killing him inside to know he can't have his father close like he wants to. You slide your hand into San's mom's hand when you find her tearing up, rubbing her knuckles as a way to soothe her. She smiles and quickly rests her head on your shoulder before patting her eyes dry. San talks about his mom and how important his relationship with her is, how she's always been there to support him since day one— pushing him to be his very best and to never quit when times got rough. He highlights the importance of his mother's love, stating that the grace and patience he's learned over the years has been because of her. 

Then, he talks about you.

His eyes find yours before he chuckles a bit, his cheeks turning red again at the interviewer asking him to dive a little deeper into the relationship he has with you and how it has support him. 

"I—I honestly don't know where to start. Y/N has been a driving force for me. I can't even tell you how selfless she is, and how she always supports me throughout everything. All my good and bad days, she remains unchanging. She loves me for who I am, and she always reminds me that if there's a will, there's a way." He looks at you again before smiling at the interviewer.

"You're blushing." The interviewer teases, making everyone giggle and laugh, even his mom next to you. You know everyone is aware of the bit of your history, being his student at one point. But no one really bats an eye anymore after time has passed and the distance has only made you and San stronger in your areas, fields. Sure, there's still a few that raise a brow and tease at it. A very small number that physically look at you two in disgust or think it's still some power play or imbalance at hand; but, to each their own. Because if time hadn't passed and showed you exactly who San was and what you meant in this relationship, then maybe. Maybe you would still would've been scared, iffy, about the whole thing even being at different campuses under different niches.

But, San hadn't changed, and so hasn't his love.

There was no reason to place any doubt on him, on this.

On yourself.

You've just learned to shut out the noise— the extra noise that felt like they had reasons to be in your business, to tell you how to act, move.

You just didn't have the time or energy anymore. You were focused on what really mattered:

Your mom, your friends, your work, San.

"It sounds really cliché, but she completes me. She really is my person and a blessing. Everything I do, I do with my parents and Y/N in mind because I want to make them proud and I want them to know that I am trying to do some good in this world. I'm thinking about them and everyone, and I'm thinking about how this could affect things in the future. I am trying to do some good and I want to take care of people. Just like I want to take care of my parents, of Y/N. I hope they know that. I hope they know I'm trying to do what I can to improve science and research." You nod in agreement, somehow a way to show San that yes, you all know. You are aware of how hardworking he is and how he continues to be, despite all the trials and tribulations he has already encountered.

Suddenly, you remember your dream.

The dream had been in the back of your head for awhile, but you figured you should wait until the right time to bring it up to San. You know he wouldn't mind, and he'd love to hear all about it. You just didn't wanna take away from tonight, especially with it being an important night for him.

But, he's all you can think of.

Him, at the end of that aisle.

A dream.

That, maybe one day, can come to fruition.

The rest of the interview goes smoothly, the entire photo and interview segment wrapping up within an hour and a half or so. The three of you gather outside of the Grand Ballroom to mingle with other highly known professors, Nobel laureates and big figures within the foundation and the neuroscience/bioengineering world. San keeps you close, while his mother talks to a few people on her own— mutually knowing each other due to her husband. A few people actually acknowledge you for the work you're doing in Professor Qi's lab, and it feels nice to be acknowledged for who you are and the work you put in. But, you put a halt to those conversations quick, making sure to keep the spotlight on San tonight [even though you know he doesn't mind it one bit].

Soon, everyone is being ushered into the room, and the ceremony kicks off promptly on the hour. It begins with the foundation's president welcoming everyone to the ceremony, followed by his speech. There's four people they are honoring tonight, with San being the last person on the list to receive his award and give his speech. Along with awards in their distinct fields/categories, they've been awarded an additional cash prize, along with additional funding support for the research projects. San is the youngest professor in the room, an assistant professor at that, and it makes you immensely proud to be here with him.

To witness this evening, to witness everyone congratulate San on his achievements and tell him how amazing he has been doing on this long, tumultuous road.

When it's time for San to deliver his acceptance speech, he does his due diligence of thanking everyone in the room, his parents and you, before diving into the nitty gritty of his career, his work and where this will take him in the near future. They're strict about their 3-min cutoff, which surprisingly goes by fast for San when he's talking about his work— a hand signaling for him to start wrapping up at the tail end with his last words.

"So, with all that being said, I'm grateful to my students and postdoctoral fellows in these past years. It hasn't been long, but we have a long way to go together. They have continued to amaze me with their brilliance and their courageousness— trying everything and anything, even when pieces of the puzzle don't seem like they'll fit. But, they try, and they try. Until, it finally works. They find the right pieces to fit. And I think this is why we're all here tonight." He pauses before scanning the crowd. "Because we all have a bit of that courage. And that courage to advance science and truth has never been more important than it is now." He pauses. "Thank you." San comes to the center of the stage, doing a deep and long bow in appreciation before heading back down to your table.

"Great job, San." His mom whispers and squeezes his arm as he takes his place in between you two.

"That was perfect, Sannie." You look at him and he smiles.

"Yeah? Kinda winged it on the plane." You laugh.

"So, that's what you were doing while I was asleep."

"Yesma'am." You giggle, giving him a kiss to the cheek. The dinner portion starts, along with orders for cocktails and dessert. The foundation has a few video presentations to show the crowd what the funding has supported and how research in these areas have advanced over time. It's a very beautiful evening, and you loved watching the videos over dinner. There's even videos to commemorate the winners— and now, it's suddenly making sense why San was sending all those photos in a hurry during the week. You laugh, almost at tears, seeing San's childhood photos and videos. 

It was a nice way to top off the ceremony.

After more casual photo sessions and a bit more mingling post-dinner and cocktails, you, San and his mother find yourselves heading back up to the rooms.

"I'm exhausted. I think the jet lag is hitting me right before we leave." She laughs and gives you two a quick kiss on the cheek and hug. "I'll see you both tomorrow for breakfast?"

"Sounds good. Goodnight, mom." San does a little nod before the both of you wave her off and finally head to your suite.

But, you lead the way and San trails behind.

Because now, he's more nervous than he's ever been. He's more nervous than he was prepping for the entire award ceremony. It's time for San to bring his plan to life, something he had been planning for months on end.

Just to get it all right.

For you. As you deserve.

And although he's gonna pop the question tonight, he's gonna promise you that you can take your time. That none of this has to happen quickly, that the both of you will get married and throw the wedding when the time feels appropriate, right.

Perfect.

You step into the suite and set your purse and coat down, but before you can do anything else to get more comfortable, San steps in front of you.

"I.. wanna take you somewhere. Is that okay?"

"Course, love. I'm down for adventures." You chuckle. "You aren't tired?" San shakes his head while undoing his tie, releasing the first button from his dress shirt.

"No."

"Should I change?" You look at him up and down and he shakes his head.

"No. It'll be quick. I just wanna get some air and take in Paris before we leave early in the morning. Grab your coat though, angel."

"Okay." You take your coat again just like San advises, also grabbing your purse before following him out of the room. The both of you head down to the lobby, your man heading straight for the front desk while letting go of your hand. He leans over to tell the associate behind the counter something, the man smiling and nodding in response. 

"Okay, the car is out front to take us to the place."

"Where are we going exactly?"

"You'll see." He smiles, pressing a kiss to your temple.

"What'd you tell the front desk, Sannie?"

"Nothing, just wanted to check on something about our room."

"Hm, everything okay?"

"Yeah, perfect." Is all he says before swinging the back door open of the black sedan waiting at the front of the hotel. He lets you in first, giving you time to slide in and get comfortable before he situates himself. 

"To the Eiffel?" The driver asks, eyes peering at San through the rearview mirror.

"Yes, please."

"Eiffel Tower? I didn't think we'd have time."

"We can always make time, baby." He laughs. "I get it, though. Every time I've flown to Paris for work, I barely have a moment to soak it in. This will is much needed."

"A perfect way to end our quick, but eventful and amazing trip." You smile and hold his hand.

"Yup." He brushes his lips against your knuckles before placing a kiss to them. The ride is quiet— mainly because San is nervous, mainly because you're trying to take in everything that passes you by in this car ride over. San is acting a little weird and he's checking his phone with his free hand here and there, but you don't question it much. You blame it on the exhaustion or jet lag, nerves finally settling since the ceremony has finished.

The ride is soothing for you. Things don't seem to matter much in this moment.

And even though you find yourself feeling a little tired, you can't wait to get some air with San at the Eiffel Tower. Another dream of yours that you had been wanting to cross off on your bucket list.

You are now, with the love of your life.

When the car drops you off at a good spot, the night air is chilly, but the coat is enough to keep you warm. San smiles as he holds your hand tightly, his dimples on full show as he finds a good spot near the tower for you to take pictures and enjoy the view.

"It's beautiful in person, San. So, so beautiful." You look up, staring at the tower lighting up in its pure beauty.

"Isn't it, sweetheart?" He comes behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist before kissing the back of your head. "Glad I'm here with you."

"Thank you for taking me along."

"You know I wouldn't step foot on the plane with you." You laugh, but it fades when he suddenly removes his hold from around you and steps back. "Sorry, love. Mom is calling. Let me make sure she's okay." You look at him and nod, turning back towards the tower to take more photos to send to your mom. She hasn't answered to your last set of photos from the ceremony and it makes you wonder if she's super busy at work—

"Sorry."

"That's okay. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah." He says softly. "Perfectly fine." He pulls you flush to his body, keeping you close. Warm. "Baby." San looks at you under the starlit sky, brushing your hair back gently. He replays every single moment he's shared with you like a film strip in his head— from the moment you first met, that kiss at the view, the first date. The crazy ups and downs, the break apart. 

All the firsts he experienced with you, just to head towards the lasts.

"Yeah, San?" He continues to stare, smiling softly at you. "Why do you keep looking at me like that?" You cock your head to the side, furrowing your brows when San lets out a shaky breath.

"I just love you. So, so much."

"I love you, too." You giggle. But, San's expression doesn't change, and something shifts in the air. He steps back a bit, pulling something out of his pocket. "San?" You gasp and almost stumble back on your feet in surprise. He gets down on one knee, popping open the box. The people nearby cover their mouths or smile in anticipation, a common theme to happen at the tower. But, it's a beautiful, beautiful sight.

Love.

"S-San, what is—"

"Will you marry me?" You cover your mouth in surprise, tears already streaking down your cheeks. You nod eagerly, barely able to make out the 'yes' that escapes your lips. You cry as San slips the ring onto your finger, swinging you around in his arms before gently planting your feet back down onto the ground and keeping his arms around your waist. The claps and sweet cheers from the small crowd around you continue while San cups your cheeks and kisses you sweetly, deeply. The kiss goes on for awhile, making you grip San's shirt on the side. 

"Congratulations!" San's mom comes into view with a bouquet, making you both finally pull away. You also notice the ceremony's photographer off to the side taking photos, wondering how San [or his mom] pulled this off. Your eyes widen in surprise, laughing as you hug your newfound fiancé and take in the moment.

You were definitely not ready for the next surprise to come, though.

"Mom?!" Your mom pops in out of nowhere with your friends on a Facetime call.

"Yes, honey!" She laughs while teary-eyed. "I bring your friends, too!" She points at the phone.

"Congrats!" You hear in the many different voices of your friends, your mom crying and laughing at the same time.

"So glad I was here for all of that."

"Mom?" You ask again in disbelief. "Guys?!" You look at the phone screen. San is watching with his mom, enjoying the way everything is unfolding.

"Sorry we couldn't be there." Jiung says. "Congrats, San and Y/N! We love you! Go enjoy yourself, we'll see you when you get back!" You nod, quickly waving goodbye to your friends before returning your attention to your mom. 

"Mom, how did you even—?" You cry, and you cry, and you cry. "Mom." You don't even talk and finish your sentence, hugging your mom tightly as she continues to congratulate you and tell you how proud of you she is. How she can't wait to see you and San get married in the coming years. How everything has just fallen into place perfectly.

"San. San asked me to come as soon as the ceremony agenda was finalized and he planned everything out." Your mom wipes your tears away and smiles. "Oh, my pretty girl. Look at you. You're gonna get married!"

"I know." You laugh. "It's crazy!" You hug her again.

"By the way, we're actually not leaving for a few more days. I wanted all of us to at least be able to enjoy this time together. Let you ladies shop and enjoy Paris, too."

"San." You whine a bit and gently pinch him, still in disbelief about everything.

"Ow—yeah, baby?"

"You're the best." He laughs, walking alongside of you, your mom and his mom— arm strung around your shoulder.

"I try." 

"Best Paris trip, hands down."

"Yeah, I can agree to that." San agrees.

"Me too." Your mom says, making you all laugh. You all walk to a gelato shop right across the street, indulging in the best of the best before heading back to the hotel to get comfortable after a long day. You learn your mom had arrived late last night, her hotel room only a couple of floors down from yours. 

She was here the entire time and you had no idea.

They all had hid everything so perfectly, and you didn't suspect a thing. Even when San was acting a little skittish in the car. The ceremony was surely a good way to cover that all up and keep it hidden in the dark. You loved the surprise.

When you say goodnight to your mom and your soon-to-be mother-in-law, you and San finally head back to the room and get comfortable. The staff drew a heart with rose petals on the sheets, a bottle of the finest champage and a box of chocolate covered strawberries sitting in the middle with a 'Congratulations' card. You snap photos for the memories before slipping the champagne and strawberries into the fridge to indulge in tomorrow. Then, you both step into a long, piping hot shower— San's hands massaging and caressing away at your body. Everything about the shower is intimate; slow kisses, slow movements. Hands laced tightly, bodies pressed tightly together. Tongues exploring and dancing around each other's mouths. Nothing more, nothing less.

Just taking each other in as is during this moment.

After a good 30 minutes in the shower, San helps dry you off before focusing on himself. You finish up your nightly routine before slipping into one of San's shirts and getting into bed. San shuts off all the lights in the suite, pulling the sheer curtains across the balcony door so you can still see the city lights and the moon coming in. He settles in next to you and instantly pulls you onto his chest, letting out a big sigh of relief when you both get comfortable.

"Mission accomplished today."

"You must feel relieved."

"Very fucking relieved." You snort.

"Congrats again, babe. You deserved all of the praise today."

"Congrats to you too, angel." You smile, resting on his chest for a bit. The both of you lay in silence, listening to the hustle and bustle of the city beneath you.

"My dream this morning." You break the silence and say softly while laying on his chest, tracing faint shapes on his skin.

"Hm, oh yeah." He hums. "Ready to tell me?"

"I had a dream about our wedding." You look at him, still teary-eyed from the whole encounter. "It was beautiful." You begin to tell him about the details, recounting the decorations, the setting, the flowers. Everything.

Laying out the image you had exactly in your head.

How you cried, how San cried.

"Oh, I know I'm gonna cry seeing you walk down that aisle. No doubt." You laugh.

"Yeah, I will, too." San chuckles.

"I'll make sure to give you all of that and more, how about that?" He caresses your cheek with the softest smile.

"Only if you want it, too."

"Course I do, it sounds perfect for us."

"Yeah?" You look up at him and he nods.

"100%." He kisses your forehead. "I love you, Y/N. More than anything."

"I love you too, San."

"Can't wait to do life with you."

—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thechaotictheoryy @vixensss @santineez @nopension @domfikeluva @in-somnias-world @my-atiny-kookie-rkive @mountiiny @naoristerling @onmymymyway @thecutiepieme @wyrated @randajjjad

[everybondyoubreak]

every bond you break

Chapter 1: I'll stick around if you will

pairing: joel miller x female reader

plot summary: You were supposed to leave the past behind when you took Maria's offer to come to Jackson — not get stuck training under Joel Miller’s watchful, unforgiving eye or babysitting Ellie on supply runs. Keeping your distance was the plan. Despite your constant clashing with Joel, there is an obvious attraction between you two, and a few other things revealed along the way that bring you closer together.

warnings: slowburn, seriously, like super slooowburn, mutual pining, blood & gore, tension, competence kink, enemies to friends to lovers, reader is age-appropriate, overprotective joel, eventual smut, eventual romance, found family

AO3

The first weeks in Jackson were peaceful.

You had lived alone in the middle of nowhere for a long time, so any sound of life you heard was something to get used to. This was what having neighbors felt like. At first it startled you a bit, but now you were comfortable enough to get annoyed when they woke you up in the morning.

And people woke up so early here. Your house was close to the center of town, another thing to get used to. There was a dining hall, a daycare, even a bar. People, places, things. It was noisy and new. It was a lot.

This is what you asked for though.

Maria was surprised when you reached out. Well, you didn’t exactly reach out. You came all the way down to Jackson with your two bags fully packed and finally took up her offer.

Your father knew her father before the pandemic. They weren’t close then, but calamity caused the two to join forces. They’d collaborate together, exchanging supplies and directing each other to valuable resources. They were grateful for your father’s support in building their settlement. They even offered your family to join, several times.

Sometime down the line, Maria’s father passed. And soon after so did yours. Around then, Maria asserted that their offer still stands. You cautiously declined, but you got curious.

One thing led to another, and here you were. In this one-story cottage. Sure, the knotty pine paneling was peeling off the wall a bit, but you were determined to make it work. With all the newcomers, they were having trouble refurbishing enough houses quickly and safely. This was the best they could offer with your sudden arrival.

It was already a lot to show up so unannounced, you wanted to be as little of a nuisance as possible.

“You’re sure?” Maria had asked, “I know this is a bit of a downgrade from your old house.” “It’s perfect, seriously.” You insisted.

And it was. The front door had this stained-glass window which let the light scatter in this kaleidoscopic way. The kitchenette had checkered red tiles and a breakfast nook. The living room had a small fireplace along with a window-seat to read in. The house was filled with light and surrounded by sound. The complete opposite of your father’s house.

When you got up to fill your kettle to make some tea, the sink proceeded to collapse in on itself.

Fuck.

-

Maria’s husband, Tommy, came to fix the sink. He had half his body sprawled across your kitchen floor, head under the cupboard, trying to re-install the fixture.

It was surprising to see the life Maria had built here. She had a devoted husband and a baby on the way. On top of it all, she seemed extremely involved with every aspect of Jackson. Despite her extensive involvements, she was still immediately to your aide when you came to her about the sink. She sent Tommy over to help right away.

“So, do you and Maria just do everything around here?” You asked, half-joking.

“You’d think. Maria’s gotten better at delegating though. I was going to send Brian down here but,” He stuck his head out from underneath, “I realized he was the one to install this piece of shit. He did a fuckin’ awful job.”

“I wish I knew anything about plumbing, I would help-” You said, feeling useless, as he stuck his head back under, twisting away. He muttered something telling you to not worry about it. “Well there is this other thing I was going to ask you about,” He said, “Maria says you wanted to start helping out a bit.”

“Yeah, I’d love to.” You were excited to prove your worth. “She said you were a pretty talented artist as a kid, don’t know if…” “I’d be happy to help paint houses, or whatever you need painted around here.”

Tommy laughs at your suggestion, “No, I was thinking more like, teaching the art classes?” You looked out the window above the kitchen sink, out at the scrappy sanctuary ahead, and asked “Do we really need art classes?”

You were surprised, and slightly offended. Weren’t there bigger things to focus on in the community? And why weren’t you allowed to be a part of it?

“We do actually, the schoolteachers have been asking-” “I just don’t think I’m up to the task.” Jesus, you also hadn’t been around a child in what, a decade? You continued, “Maria had mentioned patrols. I’m good at long-range shooting I could really-”

Tommy stuck his head back out from under the sink, “We’re good for patrols right now, really.” The way he said it stung a bit. He could see your hurt and quickly began to explain, “You know, my brother…he just settled down here as well just a few months ago…he’s takin’ up a good amount of the rotations.”

“That’s just one guy though, I’m just saying if you need alternates or-”

Tommy wiped a bead of sweat from his raised brows and continued working, “Then we will let you know. But for now, we are good.”

He worked at the sink in silence for a few more minutes. When he was finished, you thanked him and asked, “Do you want a glass of water? I would’ve offered earlier but, you know…”

Tommy laughed, “I’m fine. Just let me know if you have any more problems with this thing.”

You nodded and kept your arms crossed. There was a confusing twist of gratitude and obligation growing inside you. Tommy and Maria were going above and beyond to get you settled here and you provided nothing.

As if reading your mind, he spoke your name and explained, “People want to live life here. They want to enjoy and create. I know you don’t think art and that stuff is important but here it matters. Really.”

“Thank you, Tommy. I think it’s just a big ask for right now. I also haven’t painted or drawn like that in years…” You stood up straighter, “I’m better at surviving for now, just let me stick to what I know.” “Alright, alright, that’s fair.”

He stuck his hands in his pocket, as if searching around for an idea in there until he came up with something. He settled on just saying, “Let me talk to Maria.”

-

Much to your dismay, you had ran out of your own food at home and needed to retreat to the dining hall for dinner. The dining hall was overwhelming in its quantities. The amount of food it offered. The number of people milling about in there at all times. You liked to keep your visits there quick.  

But as you opened your door to head out, you could spot Maria walking in the direction towards your house.

You held your breath and nervously walked out to meet her, giving a small wave to politely welcome her over. She stopped in front of the short white picket fence that surrounded your house.

“I don’t think pregnant women should be walking as much as you do.” You mentioned, gesturing to her pregnant belly. She smiled, “You’re on the way over into town. I came by to check on things.”

You nodded and crossed your arms, “Things are good."

“The sink working now?” She asked, eyes narrowing. Maria was always kind to you, but she had an interrogatory way about her.

“Yes, thank you.”

Now she stayed quiet, and you kept talking, “It really wasn’t that much of an emergency. You didn’t need to have Tommy do that right away-” Why were you so nervous? You were obviously telling the truth.

“We just want to make sure you’re alright here.” She said, hand resting on her swollen stomach. The care and attention Maria provided so readily put you on edge. Maybe you were waiting for a price to be given. People don’t care like that for free. She must’ve felt that she owed something to your father.

“I’m fine, I feel like you guys think I can’t handle myself.” The words felt sticky on your tongue coming out.

Maria sighed, “I know you can handle yourself, that’s the problem.” You looked up at her with a puzzled expression.

“You’ve been alone for a decade on top of that mountain. I know you want to be part of a community and I trust you’ll be fine,” Maria looked around at the other townspeople walking by, “It just takes people a lot of adjusting here to get back to what life was like before.”

“Is that why you’re hellbent on me doing art therapy or whatever?” “I was just spitting ideas to Tommy. It helps to have something to do here besides survive.” “Let me help you guys. It’s the least I can do, let me earn my keep.”

She put her hands on her hips, “Alright. We’re doing supply runs this week and they’re training one of the other newcomers here. You want in?”

Better than nothing. “Sure.”

“Perfect, I’ll have Tommy tell Will you’re joining tomorrow’s run then.”

-

What Tommy and Maria failed to mention was the age group of the crew. When you arrived to the meet-up, the sun was barely making an appearance. However, you were still the last to show up because you walked past the group a few times at first. You had mistakenly thought it was some school field trip gathering by the gate.

The “adult” of the group called out your name. You approached cautiously with your horse trotting behind you.

“That’s you right? The newest newbie of the crew?” You nodded in response, he stuck out his hand, “I’m Will.”

Will couldn’t have been older than 26 years old. He was stocky and had dirty-blonde hair that skirted the top of his eyes. He was growing out what looked to be a mustache on top of his lip. His horse matched his demeanor, down to the hair color. Well, minus the mustache. You leaned out to shake his hand and peer at the motley crew of juveniles he was leading.

It was three kids. Teenagers to use the proper term. One of them was a small, freckled girl with reddish hair tied messily in a loose ponytail. She looked spry but restrained, like a jack-in the box. One wrong turn and she’d spring at you. The rest of the crew was a pair of teenage boys, looking to be around 16 or 17. The taller one had brown, curly hair, and seemed a bit skittish. The shorter one was a bit more muscular, with a buzzcut faded by red hair. You could tell from his smirk he was gonna be a pain in the ass.

Will pointed at the freckled girl, “I’m gonna have you paired up with Ellie. She just started a few weeks ago so she can show you a bit of what she’s learned so far.”

The two of you glanced at each other, you shrugged and led your horse to stand beside hers.

“Careful,” Buzzcut boy leaned over to you with a grin and loudly pretended to whisper, “She’s a handful. Her last buddy just quit runs because she was such a-”

“Shut the fuck up, Dylan” Ellie snapped. The boy sneered, “It’s Devin. My name is Devin.”

“Like I care,” Ellie growled back, “I have some other names I’d like to call you instead-” You kept your head down, but a small laugh slipped out of you. The girl raised her eyebrows in surprise at your amusement.

“Alright!” Will shushed you all, “Enough. We only have so many hours of daylight to use. We’re heading east today. Patrols this week haven’t had any sightings of raiders or infected but still, no messing around.” He said this looking directly at Ellie. She rolled her eyes.

Will continued, “It’s a long ride to Wilson Valley. During this time, I want you to think about inventory. Things we need. Do we remember the acronym?”

The teens all nodded in unison but stayed silent. Will looked around, “Any of you gonna recite it for the newbie? Greg, you try.”

Greg, the lanky, quieter one, recited carefully, “Yeah, uh, we’re looking for items that are S-A-F-E.”

“Do you remember what that stands for—”

“Supplies, ammo, fire-starters, and electronics.” Ellie interjected, counting off each word on her fingers.

Will sighed, “Right, whatever, let’s just get going.”

-

The first hour riding to Wilson Valley was quiet. Will stayed a few paces behind to keep an eye on the group. You and Ellie rode side-by-side in silence, a few paces behind Greg and Devin who led the way.

Eventually, Ellie began the conversation , “Not to be rude,” You braced yourself as she asked, “But how old are you exactly?”

You dodged an incoming tree branch before answering, “It’s hard to keep track. What year is it again?”

“2034.”

You quickly did the math in your head and said the answer aloud. Ellie whistled, “Oh wow, so you’re like, actually kind of old.”

“Kind of old?” You repeated in disgust, “I’m not old.”

She smiled devilishly, “You’re older than Will, and Will is pretty old. He’s like, twenty-four.”

“Ellie, isn’t your dad like 200 years old?” Devin jeered from up front. Ellie rolled her eyes, “Yeah, and Joel could still kick your ass any day of the week, dipshit.”

You laughed and asked, “So if your dad is 200 years old, then how old are you, pipsqueak?”

“Fifteen.” Ellie answered quickly, “And Joel’s not my dad he’s—” She paused to figure out the wording. Her shoulders tensed up.

“I get it.” You said, leaving it at that. In the far distance, you could hear a mourning dove call out, softening the sudden silence between you two.

Will led the group down one more long, scraggly road, before finally arriving at what looked to be a scattered arrangement of abandoned cabins. A worn-down sign stood solemnly in the midst of the buildings. “Jackson Hole Bible College” You read under your breath.

Greg and Devin went off to what looked to be the campus’s old library. Will directed you and Ellie to take the largest cabin on the far left and search for items to grab.

When you entered the place, it looked to be a cafeteria. Or what used to be a cafeteria. Tables were flipped over, some chairs snapped in half, trays of disintegrated food and silverware abandoned mid-meal. On the front wall, there was a giant calendar boasting a time from over two decades ago. A flyer advertising tutoring services was still pinned up, a few strips of paper dangling out a phone number that no longer existed.

The place seemed eerily untouched in some parts of the room and then completely ravaged the next. Rows of coffee mugs sat peacefully on one shelf. In contrast, the shelf beneath it consisted of only shattered glassware.

It was odd how time behaved now. Destruction and decay weren’t as consistent as you’d think. Of course, most places and things had been completely ravaged as years passed. Yet some things stayed untouched, devoid of any evidence of worth or affection. You couldn’t decide which was worse.

“So, SAFE.” You recited as you scanned the room, “Supplies…”

“Yeah, you know, food, water, medicine…” Ellie began to list out as she rummaged through one of the rickety cabinets hanging off the wall.

“Coffee?” You held up a yellow can of Cafe Bustelo, shaking the contents at her playfully. Ellie’s eyes widened, “Wait, really? Let me see that.”

“You a big coffee person?” “No, but Joel is.” Ellie said, shoving the can into her backpack and zipping it tightly. She looked around, “Don’t tell Will or them. They want us to share all of what we find…but some things,” She smiled, “We can keep for ourselves.”

You nodded along, “I like the way you think.” As you rummaged around more, you found some cans of tuna, an opened bottle of honey, and other non-perishable treasures. Across the room, you saw Ellie head towards a long, thin door by the kitchen. A few minutes passed, and you could hear her loudly cursing at something.

“What’s up?” You yelled over to her, to which she grunted, “This door…it’s fucking locked!” “Hang on…” As you made your way over, you swiftly pulled a pick from your back pocket. You swatted her aside and began to dig into the keyhole, feeling around for the pins that kept it shut.

After a few seconds of shimmying it around, the lock clicked open. Ellie raised her eyebrows,“Impressive.”

It was still dark inside the now unlocked room, but you could faintly see stacks of food lined across the wall. Excitedly, you reached for the light switch, flicking it on to reveal a pair of bare feet dangling in front of you. Your heart shot up into your throat. Horrified at the sight, and the stench, of the body hanging mid-air. Miraculously, you kept quiet. There was a swollen red ring around the dead man’s left foot. The bite marks around it were a bubbly, bright red.

“Oh…” Ellie said lowly, but began to make her way inside to scavenge around the body. Without hesitation, you latched onto her shoulder to pull her back and hissed, “Careful!”

“Why? The guy’s obviously dead—” “He might be dormant…”

On cue, the feet began to wiggle and move in the air. The rest of the body began convulsing and sputtering as it dangled in the air, screeching to free itself from the noose. Ellie stumbled back, “Oh fuck!”

You shoved Ellie behind you, reached for your pistol and immediately shot up at the body, blasting it directly in the neck. The body snapped off from the head and hit the ground with a back-to-back thud. The two of you stared in disgust at the remains. The now severed head laid on its side, looking like shredded cabbage from the blow.

“Fuckin’ disgusting…” Ellie whispered.

“HEY!” Will’s voice came booming in from behind, “The hell is going on? Why did I hear a gunshot-”

Will stopped in his tracks as he caught sight of you both. The beheaded infected behind you. The pistol in your hand. Ellie laying on the floor.

Will’s frustrated face was now overcome by concern, “What happened, are you two okay?”

You nodded, “I’m fine. Ellie…” You reached down to pull her up. She ignored your hand, pushing herself up on her own, “We’re fine, Will.” Ellie’s eyes narrowed and she looked at Will intently, “Do not tell Joel this, by the way.”

“Ellie, I don’t know-”

What was with this Joel guy she kept talking about?

“Do not say anything Will, because nothing happened.”  “I can’t make any promises, Ellie. I won’t say anything but if him or Tommy asks…”

“Let’s just keep looking around in here.” You interjected, “Looks like this guy had stashed himself away with some good stuff.” The two of them nodded and followed you in to carefully collect more supplies.

-

The ride back was oddly tense. You could see Ellie in the corner of your eye mulling things over. A part of you felt for sorry for her. You understood how she felt in some way. Even if Joel wasn’t her father, she was clearly entangled with the man in some way. His stress was her stress. His joy was her joy.

“Hey,” You leaned over to her, snapping her out of her spiral, “I found an extra can of coffee in the pantry back there. Folgers…you can have it.” She looked up at you and gave a small smile, “Really?” “Really, I don’t need it. You should give it to your, uh... Joel.”

She nodded. As you two continued riding, she spoke up, “Joel’s not my dad but we came here together. From the Boston QZ.” “Oh.” “He’s a good guy, he’s just overprotective. Especially right now, he has his brother Tommy on my back too.” Oh. This was Tommy’s brother.

“It sounds like you have a lot of people looking out for you,” You said, “That’s hard to come by.” The air felt colder as a gust of wind traced across the back of your exposed neck.

“And you just moved here too?” Ellie asked. You nodded, knowing she probably wanted more of a response than that. “I lived alone for a while, a couple hours from here.”

“Why’d you come here then?” “I got tired of myself…or being by myself” You were being honest at least, “I’ve known Maria for some time and she always offered me a place to stay here. So I finally moved out here.”

“And look at you now,” Ellie chirped, “Hanging with a bunch of teenagers, scavenging for canned food with me, Greg, and Dylan here—”

“It’s Devin!” He called back.

“Like I care…” Ellie grumbled to herself. She reverted her attention back to you, “What did you mean back there by ‘dormant’?”

“Huh?” “Dormant,” Ellie repeated, “You said that infected guy was dormant back there.”

You looked back at her, seeing the genuine intrigue in her eyes. “Uh, in altitudes like this, especially in rooms with little to no light, the symptoms of infection slows down in some bodies. It’s a lot more subtle. And stubborn. More stubborn than usual.”

Ellie squinted her eyes, “I thought dead people couldn’t get infected.”

You pointed up at your head, “There’s still a body and a brain to work with, so it can still take over.”

“So he wasn’t dead?”

“I don’t know,” You admitted, “I think they’re still alive in there, just at complete loss of their bodies. That’s why you’re better off shooting yourself in the head when you get bit. Leave the cordyceps nothing to work with.” You felt your throat tighten at the thought.

Ellie nodded, taking the information in, “How exactly do you know all this?”

“Trial and error, I guess.”

Ellie let out a small “Hmph” in response and began riding ahead of you with no further questions. Good enough of an answer for her, thank goodness.

-

When you got back to Jackson, Will guided the group to the church hall to drop off the gathered supplies. Once that was over with, you all went down to the gate by the stables.

There was a small group of people eagerly waiting by the south gate. You all slipped off your horses and began to walk in their direction. Devin and Greg made their way to a pair of older couples standing together, presumably their parents.

You stuck by Ellie’s side, knowing she was going to ditch you any moment for her parental figure. The contrast of the surrounding adults versus your place with the group of children brought a wave of infantilization over you. Why did Tommy and Maria put you in this kiddie group?

You could clearly hold your own. You shook off the infected earlier with ease. You had no trouble finding useful items for the supply run. And yet, the hardest thing that happened all day seemed to be this. Watching the happy families reunite and walk off together. You thought you had grown past this forgotten feeling but it was still there. A slow, steady pulse in the pit of your stomach.

Surprisingly, Maria was there in the crowd. Tommy seemed to have tagged along as well. Maria had one hand on her swollen belly, her other hand in the air waving at you. Tommy yelled out your name and gave a smile. You gave the couple a quick thumbs up, hoping that was sufficient for a conversation.

You needed to talk to Maria alone later. You couldn’t deal with being around kids and families like this. There had to be some loners like yourself to work with. Where you could just get shit done and call it a night.

There was another individual standing in the crowd close to Tommy. He was taller and older.

This clearly must be Tommy's brother Joel. He closely resembled Tommy, but he had a certain intensity emanating from him. He had a few more lines on his forehead, and hair that was borderline silver that framed his tense, defined face. With his broad stance and stern expression, he looked impenetrable. Once his dark eyes flicked over you, a rush of heat spread across your face. You raised your hand to deflect his stare, nervously running your fingers through your hair to keep subtle.

He was handsome. Intimidating, but handsome. Those two traits dangerously entwined.

When his eyes went over to the young girl next to you, his gaze immediately softened. He gave a small smile and nod to Ellie.

“Come over here you two!” Tommy called out. You looked behind yourself, sure that Tommy must be yelling to someone else. He laughed and called your name once more for reassurance. You made your way over with Ellie. Your hands holding tightly onto the reins of your horse.

“How’d it go?” Maria asked you. You could feel Ellie’s eyes on you, nervous that you’d mention the slight scare earlier that day.

“Great,” You answered, “I had a good time with the kiddie group today.” Maria raised her eyebrows in bemusement.

“Hey!” Ellie yelped, pretending to be offended. Tommy gestured to Ellie and asked you directly, “Now, how’d she do?”

“She was great.” You felt another pair of eyes holding onto you firmly. Tommy’s brother stood by silently, eyeing you up and down. You looked back at him, waiting for him to chime in. But he kept quiet.

Tommy laughed, “Seriously? I don’t believe you two.” He gave you a wink to indicate that he was partially playing around. “Let me ask Will, hey Will!”

You and Ellie shot a brief, panicked, look at each other. Will nervously scuttled over to the five of you.

“How’d everything go today, Will?” Will gulped and began to talk, “Uh, good. We did find some-”

Your mind scrambled to come up with a conversational diversion. Your hands sprang into your bag, pulling out a red metal tin, “We got you some coffee!” You blurted out, staring up at Joel.

Everyone stopped talking and stared at the sudden interaction. Joel’s eyes landed back on you. For the briefest moment, they looked surprisingly tender. A second later, his expression immediately tensed up again. His eyebrows furrowed, “What?”

You felt your cheeks begin to redden. Why, of all the distractions, was that the one you decided to go with?

“We found you coffee. Your…um, Ellie had mentioned you were looking for some.”

He looked at the others, as if wondering if they were putting him up to something. “So…is that all you found for the group?” He barked.

Yes, he made you nervous, but he didn’t make you amenable.

Your defensiveness swept in, clearing out any shame completely. You glared up at him, “No, I actually found some other items. Just trying to be nice, not an idiot.” Tommy gave a small laugh to try to keep the peace.

You could hear Will chattering to Maria from the side about you, “She really was a big help…you know normally I’d ask her to share those grounds with the kitchen but-”

“Joel, say thanks.” Ellie said lowly.

You eased up and extended the Folger’s can out to him. Holding your makeshift olive branch with both hands. He reached out. As he grabbed the can, his thumb grazed your top finger ever so slightly. You looked down at the ground to steady yourself and heard him mutter out a lowly, “Thanks.”

“Well, okay,” Tommy said, “Let’s walk the horses back to the stables and call it a night, yeah?”

You nodded, staying behind to let Ellie, Joel, and Tommy walk ahead of you. Will gave you a wave and headed off in another direction. Maria stayed by your side, and the two of you started slowly walking.

“So how was it, actually?” She said quietly to you. You looked over at her, perplexed, “It was fine, really.”

“You seem annoyed with something.” “Why’d you put me in the kid’s group?” You finally asked, then lowered your voice again, “I’m a little too old for this group, don’t you think?”

Maria sighed and crossed her arms, staring ahead at Joel and Ellie. “I thought you two would make a good match.”

You kept your eyes ahead, watching as Ellie pulled out her own tin of coffee to gift to Joel. You could see him laugh and place his hand delicately on Ellie’s shoulder, guiding her into the stables. For a brief moment, he looked over his shoulder, locking eyes with you before disappearing into the stalls.

You and Maria had stopped in place further away to keep talking out of their earshot. You snapped your focus back onto the conversation at hand. “What do you mean?”

She guided you over to the fence surrounding the stable, “Ellie was paired up with a girl her age but the two got into some shit. We’ve dealt with kids similar to this before. I think she needs someone like you to work with.” You leaned against the fence and cocked your head to the side, “Really, someone like me?”

“She works better with certain people. Someone like Joel, someone like you…” “Shit, am I like Joel?” You snapped. “No one is like Joel.” Maria replied.

“Thank God.” You huffed. A corner of Maria’s mouth raised in amusement.

Maria put a hand on your shoulder, “I want people here that I can trust to uphold this community.” She looked into your eyes, “I trust you. And I trust Joel is what my husband says he is,” Her head bowed, “But I think there are some things he just can’t move past from.”

Then she added, “I think Ellie needs to see how other people are adjusting to things. How people move on and make a life here, like you have.”

You felt your jaw tense. How bold of Maria to assume such a thing.

“Why me though? Why not someone that’s lived here longer? I just got here too. ”

“She reminds me of you,” Maria finally said, “The way you were back then, with your dad.”

This came as a second blow. You looked away from Maria, mentally rummaging for some sly comment to throw back at her. But it never came. You kept your gaze somewhere far off, looking past the stables, far out as the sun melted into the mountains over Jackson.

A voice came out of you, unusually soft, “I can take her under my wing for a little bit.”

[alphajocklover]

The following story was a commission from a reader who would prefer to remain anonymous. They have given me permission to share this story. Quick thank you to them.

Made For This Town

Maxwell Ford was moving.

Specifically, Maxwell Ford was moving to a small town called Maxford.

Max Ford was moving… to Maxford.

It was almost funny, or at least it would have been funny if Maxwell wasn’t absolutely miserable about this entire thing.

Maxwell hated that they were moving again. His family moved quite a bit, his mothers job as a software engineer bringing them all around the country. Usually Maxwell was fine with moving. It was annoying but he was used to it. He was a fairly social guy and made friends easily. This time Maxwell doubted he’d make any friends at all, mainly because Maxwell was basically moving to the middle of nowhere.

When he had first heard they were moving to a town that shared his name he thought it was actually kind of cool. Even when he learned it wasn’t a city he had still been kind of excited. He had lived in cities his entire life, and had actually been curious about what it might be like to live in a small town. Then he had learned about what Maxford was actually like. There wasn’t a lot of information about it on the internet, which was a little strange since everything was on the internet these days, but what he had learned had soured him on the town completely. Maxford was… well it was weirdly normal. There was no other way to put it. The town was weirdly normal. Maxwell knew that a lot of small towns were conservative and focused on athletics, but Maxford seemed to take it to a whole new level. Everyone was conservative and athlete obsessed. Absolutely everyone! It didn’t sound possible, but try as he might Maxwell couldn’t find any semblance of any sort of counter culture. There were no nerds, no goths, no punks and no LGBTQ people of any kind. The only mention of LGBTQ people and Maxford were some quack conspiracy theorists online raving about some kind of reality changing forcefield. Maxwell was convinced that even if he found other nerdy or gay people like him in Maxford, they’d be absolutely crazy. It wasn’t like Maxwell could do anything about it though. He was just 18 and hadn’t finished highschool yet. He didn’t have the means to live on his own. So he resigned himself to spend his senior year surrounded by jocks. Though that didn’t stop him from pouting about it the whole ride there.

“God it’s like there's no cell service out here.” Maxwell groaned from the passenger seat of his family's subaru. Maxwell could hear his dad, Samuel Ford, sigh from the driver's seat, and could tell his dad was rolling his eyes without even looking. Maxwell knew it was all in good fun though. He and his dad actually got along great, which made sense considering they were both very similar. Both were skinny men who appeared younger than they were and had a love for sci-fi and video games. The only real difference was that Samuel was far more mature and less emotional then Maxwell. His emotional maturity and kindness was probably the only reason Samuel was able to get Maxwell’s mother, Rose, to go out with him. Rose was both attractive and ambitious, and Samuel absolutely adored her. She had driven ahead in the family's other car with a bit more of their stuff, so currently the car was just father and son.

“Son, I know you’re not really excited about this move…” Sam said sympathetically, a kind smile on his face “But I swear it won’t be as bad as you think. I know this town is different from the places we’ve lived before, but I know you’ll make friends.” Sam said. Maxwell doubted it, but said nothing and smiled slightly at his fathers attempts to cheer him up as they approached the city limits of Maxford. “You’ll see, son. As soon as we get in there…”

“You’ll be pulling pussy like fucking crazy.” Sam Ford said, a cocky grin on his manly face as he gave his son a knowing smile.

Max Ford puffed his chest slightly with pride as he smirked at his Dad. He wasn’t really worried about getting a new girl to go out with him, since chicks were basically putty in his hands. Why wouldn’t they be? He was a fucking stud. Over 6 feet tall with roaring, beefy muscles. He was so big he already had a place on the Maxford High football team without even having to try out. He had sent some pictures of himself to the football coach and got a starting place on the football team just like that. But Max liked it when his dad complimented him, since he had looked up to the man his entire life, so he pretended to be nervous about finding a girl for homecoming so his dad would try and cheer him up. His dad was fully aware his son was just playing, but studs like them had to build eachother up. As they drove through Maxford, Max thought about the upcoming school year with a cocky grin. He knew being the new kid in senior year might be a little weird, but a guy like him could make friends anywhere. Plus, a guy named Max Ford in a town called Maxford? It was like fate. Max was sure he’d be the king of his highschool in no time.

Sam pulled up at their new house, parking their SUV next to the family pickup. He got out of the car and sauntered over to his wife Rose, who was waiting for them. She had come earlier to get the house set up. Being a stay at home mom, Rose wanted to make sure everything was perfect for her man. Max rolled his eyes as his parents kissed sloppily, almost gagging as his dad groped his Moms ass. Turning away from them, Max saw a busty girl across the street, staring at him with unhidden interest. With a seductive smirk, Max stripped off his shirt, threw it to the floor, and flexed for the bimbo, who he couldn’t hear giggle and blush as he showed off.

Max laughed. A town full of hot girls and cool bros. It was like the town of Maxford was made for him. Or… maybe he was made for the town of Maxford.

**Hope you guys enjoyed another little trip to Maxford! I don’t know how the fact that the random town name I made up would also make a good jock name didn’t occur to me till now, but I’m grateful it did! If you like this, stay tuned for more or maybe even commission me. I already got another commission for a much longer Maxford themed story on the books! See you later!**

[goquokka00]

hello!! omg, I used to love sending in requests, but it’s been a while \(^ヮ^)/

I would like to request a SFW ff or oneshot (it doesn’t matter :) ) for Felix where he saw y/n for the first time in a while (or ever since high school) and she was performing in a small local band for the college festival/event and was like wow!! heart eyes heart eyes!! He used to have a big crush on her also! 😝 Just wanted to see how you come up with this ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎

Long Time No See

Summary: It had been years since Felix had last seen you. But while on break in Melbourne with Bangchan, the two came across a small fair held by a college in town. And the main center of attention wasn't them. It was you and a small band covering their songs that you had re-written in English. And Felix just couldn't stay away.

Pairing: Felix X Reader (F!)

Genre: Humor, Fluff (It's Felix I mean come on lol)

Word Count: 2.8K

The last time Felix had seen you was in Highschool.

You were the same year as him, a shy band nerd. You were heavily involved in anything music; playing in the pit for theatre, doing jazz bands, ensembles, and all sorts of choirs and singing stuff. It felt like any time he saw you, you always had something music going on. But he liked that.

Your friend groups were really different, but you two did get along when you had classes together. Always wearing your glasses, having to push them up your nose...it always got Felix's heart pumping. He always tried to partner with you on projects because of that. You were also really smart in certain subjects. If anything, it made you more attractive to him.

Unfortunately, the time you two had together grew short due to Felix going to Korea to become an idol. And while it made him a bit upset, he wanted to follow his dreams, too. And so, he left. And while he spent countless hours training and working hard to become an idol and one of eight members in Stray Kids, you had continued to go to school, and eventually to college.

But Felix hadn't seen you since.

Now, he was one of the most infamous. Everywhere he went, people knew him. He was Felix of Stray Kids; the one with the deep voice and the cute face. It's what he was known for. And after working for so long, he was finally on break with one of his fellow members, Bangchan.

They had gone home to Melbourne to spend time with their family, relax, and just do what they wanted. It was needed, and it was nice. Really nice. But today, he had gotten bored and wanted to go out with Chan. Just hang out as friends, and not band members who performed in stadiums.

And so, he called Chan.

"Hey, Felix! What's up?" Chan asked, Felix smiling as he heard his hyung's voice.

"Channie-hyung, I was wondering if you'd wanna go out and just walk around Melbourne."

"Yeah, sure! I actually heard that there was a fair going on at the University of Melbourne and wanted to check it out, but Lucas is out with friends, Hannah is in America, and my parents are busy with work."

"Oh, then we should go and check it out, see what's going on!"

"Definitely! I'll come get you later...around two work?"

"Yeah, that works."

And so, Felix got ready before meeting Chan outside, the two off to go to the University. And once they got there, they noticed just how busy it was. Turns out, there was a lot to check out.

There were competitions, games, food, art, and so many other things. Felix actually ended up buying gifts for all of the other members of Stray Kids, as there seemed to be something for everyone. He even got something for Chan, who turned the gift down. Felix...just slipped it into Chan's bag.

And as they walked around, they heard music coming from the plaza. And because they were idols, they just had to go and check it out. Sure enough, it was a small group of students from the music department playing some jazz tunes that they had written. It was pretty cool, if they were being honest. And after the group was done playing, another group appeared.

And there you were.

At first, Felix didn't recognize you. You weren't in glasses anymore, and your hair was a lot longer than what it used to be. But after a moment, Felix's eyes widened.

"No way..." He blinked, leaning his head forward as his eyes narrowed, almost as if his brain didn't believe what his eyes were seeing. But Chan? He had no clue what was going on.

"What? What is it?" Chan looked to Felix, then to the group as they set up, and then back to Felix, seeing his friend's face suddenly red. "Why are you suddenly so flustered, huh?"

"I...I went to school with that girl. The one with the guitar." Felix instantly pointed you out, only to see you laugh and smile as you grabbed the microphone, adjusting it to your height before doing a quick sound check.

"No way, really?" Chan asked, looking at you as you did the typical "check, check, check, 1-2-3". But it was only a second before Chan smiled, nudging Felix with his arm. "She's kinda cute..."

"Hyung, stop..." Felix just shoved Chan back, hearing him laugh. But his attention was back on you in an instant. You had so much more confidence than you did when you were in highschool. It's almost as if you managed to find yourself, and pick yourself up.

"Hello! Um, we're Wallflower, and today we're gonna be playing a few songs that we really learned to love by a group named Stray Kids." You greeted, smiling at the crowd that had gathered around. People cheered, clapping before you laughed nervously, continuing. "Oh, and they're all covers we've learned and translated, too. So you'll be able to understand them. Hopefully."

And with that, you looked to the keyboardist, nodding. And they were quick to play an opening both Felix and Chan recognized instantly.

"Twilight, huh?" Chan murmured. It wasn't an easy song, that was for sure. It was a song Han had written, for crying out loud. His songs weren't ever easy. And yet, with a gentle breath, you began.

"I think my day, Has grown shorter than everyone's... And your thoughts, Make my night come faster than the sun... I try to follow you, cause you left just by chance, Will you be waiting for me in the end? I still remember you warm words from back when Your eyes held all that sweet love just for me..."

Felix forgot how beautiful your voice was. It was so smooth and soft, having just a hint of a raspiness that made it irresistible. Even Chan whistled lowly, crossing his arms as his eyes widened slightly.

"Damn, she's good." Chan said, looking back to Felix. But what he saw was his friend in absolute awe.

"Yeah..." Felix trailed, watching you closely. He couldn't even take his eyes off of you. You were enchanting, from your voice to the way you looked around the crowed, to how your hands moved and played each lick of twilight perfectly.

And then, your eyes caught his. And it was like everything stopped for Felix. His cheeks burned red, unable to look away from your beautiful eyes. He half expected you to freak out, but you didn't. Instead, you smiled, and winked to him. Winked.

Felix swallowed in response.

After Twilight, your group played Limbo, then Cover Me, then a softer version of Unfair. You sang Felix's solo. And your voice fit it perfectly. From Unfair, your group played Youth and Hold My Hand as well before finishing up.

"Thanks again for coming everyone! You all have been amazing!" All of you bowed before heading off of the make-shift stage to pack up your things.

"Wow...they were really good." Chan commented, only to watch Felix just walk over to you. He just blinked, watching Felix leave before going after him. "Fe-Felix, wait for me, man!"

Felix just ignored him, walking up to you before tapping your shoulder. You had just been putting your guitar away, zipping the case up when you felt the tap, turning around to see Felix, Chan running up behind him.

"Um, hey. I-I don't know if you remember me, but--"

"How couldn't I remember you, Felix?" You just smiled, giggling a bit before continuing. "Honestly, I should be the one asking you that question."

"Oh...Oh yeah, I guess so--"

"Felix, come on! I asked for you to wait!" Chan interrupted Felix, making Felix whip around before bowing to him.

"Sorry, Hyung, I didn't mean to. I just...I wanted to come say hi to--"

"Ah, right. Your school mate, right?" Chan looked to you, smiling before offering his hand. "I'm Chan, though...I'm sure you knew that already. You are...?"

"I'm Y/n, and its an absolute honor to meet you." You replied, shaking Chan's hand.

"Ah, Y/n! You did an amazing job with your performance, the translations were really good, too. You should've seen Felix, he was awe-struck-"

"HYUNG!" Felix gave Chan a look that just said 'shut your trap before I punch you'. It only made Chan laugh and put a hand onto Felix's head.

"Right, right, sorry. I need to embarrass you at least a little bit." Chan said, smiling before looking to you. "I'll give you guys some space. I saw a booth I wanted to check out, anyways. Have fun, love birds!"

Felix was going to kill Chan.

You simply laughed, waving to Chan as he walked away, before looking to Felix. "So..."

"So..." Felix repeated. All of a sudden, it was awkward. Really awkward. Damn it all... Felix just cleared his throat, looking to you with an apologetic smile. "Sorry about him. He's like a dad. A really, really embarrassing one."

"Ah, don't worry about it. I found it funny." You replied, putting your arms behind your back. And then, you gestured to the side, smiling kindly to Felix. "So, do you wanna catch up a bit? Maybe grab a bite to eat?"

"Yeah, sure." Felix smiled to you, before the two of you headed on your way. You both decided to get some meat pies from the cooking club, sitting down before chatting about the simple things.

Felix told you about his training and the show Stray Kids did before debuting, all sorts of stories about the other members and what they were like outside of their idol image. And you shared stories about college and how your group came to be. And it was nice. Really nice.

"You know, I never expected you to go into music." You eventually spoke, taking a sip of your soda. "I mean, you always seemed like you were too cool for it, y'know?"

"Really?" Felix blinked, watching you nod. "But I was a dancer in high school."

"Yeah, but that's not the same as music." You leaned forward on your hand, tilting your head as you looked at him. "But hey, it puts your deep voice to good use. Have you seen the compilations of people reacting to it online?"

"Actually, yeah." Felix laughed a bit, drinking some of his own drink. "Granted, you've changed too."

"Not really..." You shrugged, watching Felix shake his head.

"Yes really. I mean, you don't wear glasses anymore."

"Well, they got annoying."

"And you're not as shy."

"Trust me, I am with new people."

"You weren't shy with Chan."

"But I was awkward."

"They aren't the same thing though."

"They're close enough."

"Well, the girl I knew from Highschool would've never performed songs that she translated on a stage in front of people."

"I had other people on stage with me, I don't get nervous when I'm with them."

"See, you said that in Highschool, and then you passed out from nerves when you had that solo that one choir concert."

"I--what? I didn't do that!" Your face flushed as Felix brought that up, the man only laughing as he saw your reaction.

"Did too! I was there, remember? All because you asked me to support you!"

"And then I told you to never bring that up again!" From there, you covered your face up, letting out an embarrassed groan. "God, it was so embarrassing..."

"Hey, it's not as embarrassing as ripping your pants. Or face planting into the stage floor while performing." Felix had a point. But after a second, your brows furrowed as you looked at him, raising a brow.

"Wait, but didn't all of that happen to Chan?"

"...don't...don't tell him I mentioned that."

"I'm SO gonna tell him you mentioned that."

"No, don't!" Felix just whined as he watched you laugh, Felix only leaning forward. "Seriously! Chan will kill me!"

"Okay, okay! I won't!" You giggled, wiping a tear from your eye before you looked to Felix, smiling to him. Felix just blinked, taking in your beauty for a moment before smiling.

"You know...I'm really happy you've come out of your shell." Felix said, watching as you ran a hand through your hair.

"Yeah...college really changes people." You said, your eyes soft. "But you've changed a lot, too."

"Not really..." Felix said, watching as you shook your head.

"Yes really." You then leaned forward on your hands again, looking into his eyes. "You aren't trying to force this cool guy facade anymore. You're a lot humbler now than you were, too. You're letting people see the real you. The you that I got to know."

That got Felix blushing. He didn't know why, but...your words were so sweet. Something that he knew he needed to hear.

"Oh...um...thanks." Felix bowed a bit to you, silence coming between you both for a moment. But then, you let out a sigh, smiling softly.

"You know...I kind of wish that we got to be closer back in Highschool." Your voice was a lot more sincere now. Felix didn't miss it in the slightest.

"Yeah...me too." And then, the next words just flowed right out of his mouth before he could even stop himself. "I wish that I had the courage to ask you out back then."

You blinked, freezing before looking at Felix. He looked like he hadn't even said that. Just...staring at the table with eyes that showed how he was thinking.

"What?"

"Yeah. I had a thing for you back then, y'know?" Felix then looked up at you, his smile soft. "But I wanted to pursue my dreams. So I did."

"I'm happy you did." You responded, your cheeks pink. Felix then looked at you, his eyes wide. "You seem happy. A lot happier than you used to be. I think in a sense...you found yourself, too."

"Yeah...Yeah, I did." Felix nodded, his eyes not leaving yours for a second. "But...I'd be a lot happier if you were in my life."

Once again, your eyes went wide, your heart beating fast. He...did he really just say that?

"You think so?"

"I know so." Felix smiled, reaching out to take your hand in his, interlacing your fingers together. His eyes watched your hands, before he looked back up at you. "Let me do what Highschool me didn't have the guts for, and take you out on a date tonight, yeah?"

You couldn't believe your ears. But...you couldn't help but nod, feeling shy now.

"Y-Yeah...I'd like that."

"Oh, thank god." Instantly, Felix let out a breath of relief, his hand relaxing more in yours. "I was so scared you were gonna say no...god, that was horrifying."

You just laughed, Felix watching you before laughing with you. And after a moment, you both stopped, your sweet voice speaking up. "You did good, though! You made me feel butterflies!"

"Really?" Felix smiled, his eyes filled with so much joy. "I was really trying my best, I mean...like, I didn't want to be cringey, but I also wanted to be charming, but not too charming. That would've been cringe worthy. Like, seriously cringey, and I wanted it to be good enough to where I wouldn't ruin my shot..."

And as Felix continued to ramble on and on, you just watched him, smiling with love in your eyes. He was so cute...even though he had practically swept you off of your feet moments ago.

"Felix..." You spoke, interrupting him. He looked at you, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly open. You just moved forward, going to land a kiss right onto his lips.

Instead, you missed, hitting his chin.

You blinked. Felix blinked. And then you both burst into laughter.

"I missed! I was trying to kiss your lips!" You laughed, Felix just bending forward as he practically wheezed. "That's so embarrassing, I'm sorry!"

"No, no, it was perfect!" Felix cackled, only to look up at you with a smile. And after you both calmed down, you gazed into each other's eyes, happy as can be.

"Can I try again?" You asked softly, Felix nodding. And as you leaned forward, you slowly closed your eyes, waiting for the impact until...

"Don't miss this time."

"Felix!" You just smacked his shoulder, making him laugh before going to cup your cheek.

"Sorry, sorry...here, I'll guide you." Felix said. And finally, the two of you met in the middle, sharing a soft, sweet kiss. It felt like the two of you set off fireworks, only the two of you in the world. And as you both pulled away, you didn't go far, keeping close as Felix spoke softly. "I'll come get you at seven tonight. Sound like a deal?"

You just nodded, putting your forehead onto his. "Deal."

One thing was for sure...neither of you could wait for tonight.

Hey! Firstly, thank you so much for reading this post, and I really hope you enjoyed! If you did, please like, reblog, or comment so I can see how I'm doing with writing and getting feedback! I hope you have a lovely day! Sleep well, stay in good health, and eat something if you haven't! ❤️❤️❤️

Taglist: @miss-daisy04 @kayleefriedchicken @wolfs-archive @stayyyyyyyyyyyy21 @wolfs-howling @rose-w-00-d @skzlover24

[six-eyed-samurai]

I've seen a lot of people who write Muichiro as someone who sort of forgets he's not dating you in the crush stage, but my take is that Muichiro actually forgets he's dating you and thinks he's in his crush era.

🌸He'll approach you suddenly, a couple times a month, with a serious expression and red cheeks, to confess his not-so-secret crush on you from since the day you both met, having forgotten he had already done so and you both were already together

🌸You usually just go along with it until he gets to the "I hope you feel the same but I'll understand if you don't" part; then you break it to him with a shy laugh that he had already confessed and you both were going out

🌸It's not tiring at all to keep repeating the same scenario, not at all! Muichiro is so cute when he does it, unconsciously pulling an innocent puppy expression and staring at you hopefully. And when he remembers you both are a couple he'll immediately light up ever so excitedly, attack you in a hug, press his forehead against you and apologize in a flurry of "Sorry" and compliments

("How did I manage to pull someone like you?" He wonders out loud. You laugh - he's too cute for his own good.)

🌸Not only that it's honestly become a guessing game with you to see what method Muichiro would confess to you again this time. You both have approximately cycled through confession by love letter, gifts (he might've stolen it forgetting it belonged to someone else, but it's the thought that counts, right?), cloud-gazing date, outright declaration, jealous blurt...yeah, you've gone through every single trope there was possible

🌸Your favorite one was when he threw an airplane across the room to you and when you unfolded it he wrote a little sweet confession. You still have it, along with the rest he started throwing to you to 1. get your attention 2. annoy you 3. ask you to join him for training or cloud-gazing

🌸 You've told him multiple times it's okay if he wants to stare at you anytime he likes after catching him doing it one day, like he did when he was in his crush phase, but he forgot and acts like he just got caught performing the most atrocious crime on earth: looks away immediately and vehemently denies it

🌸Everyone around you guys thinks it's super funny and adorable how Muichiro would start talking about you and abruptly end it with something like "Is this what people mean by having a crush?" or "I would really like to be her boyfriend someday if I manage to confess and she accepts." As said above he gets really puppy-dog excited when he's told "Aren't you guys dating already?"

("We are?" Muichiro frowned. "I don't remember..." His eyes widen. "So that's who left me that daikon today..." Then he runs off forgetting he's in the middle of conversation to go find you.)

🌸Sometimes it's a little awkward when it comes to dates though. Say there's a festival happening in a nearby town or White Day and you've been planning to spend the day having fun with him - Muichiro's going to forget you're both together and be too shy to ask you out despite that's all he's thinking about. Then you have to remind him, or someone else triggers it.

("I'm so sorry I didn't ask you!" Muichiro pushed a small box of chocolates towards you. "I got you this as an apology if it makes up for it? We'll do anything you want for tonight if you want?)

🌸It's always funny when Muichiro gets sulky or starts moping around when he hears about your boyfriend and how you're gushing over him because he forgot it was him. You like to tease him about it by listing out all the qualities you like about him and the usual praise until Muichiro asks who it is, his jealousy quite obvious.

("You, dummy!"

Muichiro blinked, then groaned, grabbing onto your side and looking up at you pathetically. "Don't play with me like that!")

🌸Of course it's not all fun and games. If this is before he met Tanjiro and regained his memories he can be pretty cold to you when he doesn't remember about your relationship, leading to a lot of things you both have to talk through after a fight.

🌸Worse case scenario is that he still remembers you as a crush, but decides that instead of confessing like before he ought to push you away before you became a weakness, a distraction...someone he'd lose.

🌸After he gets back his memories and becomes more like his old self however, he doesn't forget your relationship anymore, meaning to make up for all the times he did. In fact he flexes it, wanting to tell everyone about the both of you all the time to the point your default face is now "extremely flustered".

🌸Especially when he's jealous, actually.

("I heard that (y/n) has a crush though, do you really think you still stand a chance?"

Muichiro whipped his head around at the sound of the two slayers gossiping in the corner during a break from his training. A slight crease forms between his eyebrows and he decides to go a little harder on them later.

"Nah, it's fine! I'm a hundred per cent confident she'll say yes as long as she isn't dating anyone!"

"But I heard she is," a third slayer joined in, leaning closer conspiratorially. "A Hashira, actually."

The guy in question bursts out laughing. Scumbag. "As if! Don't be so stupid. She's already lucky she could get MY attention."

"Who would want a stupid mizunoto like you?" Muichiro smacked the slayer with the flat of his blade expressionlessly. The other two yelped and scrambled back. "For your information (y/n) got my attention - and now you have mine: go run ten laps around the Estate and if I hear you defile her name again I'll make it a hundred."

He blew a raspberry at the poor wretch as he ran past.)

[madridfangirl]

Three is a crowd!

Jude bellingham blurb.

Jude gets jealous to see his girlfriend with her admirer at a party. And he makes his feelings known.

...............................................................

Jude took one final look at himself in the mirror. Satisfied, he quickly picked up the gift bag and headed out for the party. He was late, but he could still make it for some time.

It was Roma’s birthday. Her boyfriend was in town for the week so she had decided to throw a small pool party at one of their colleague’s places. Of course, with Roma, nothing was small, not really. A cozy gathering meant for close friends & colleagues had turned into a guest list of 50+, as Ananya had huffed exasperatingly.

But hey, it was her day, and she quite liked to be treated as a princess on her day, so everyone just played along. Even Chris, who was a lot like Ananya in terms of keeping things small & private, had agreed wholeheartedly that it was a great plan. Roma sometimes joked that Chris should be with Ananya and she should be with Jude, given how similar their personalities were. 

Jude was also looking forward to see his girlfriend, who he hadn’t seen much of in the last few days because she was busy planning the party for her best friend. And with Roma, it was more of a birthday week than just one day so a lot was going on in their apartment. 

He had recently gone public with Ananya, just over two weeks ago, in early August, shortly post the Euros. After a lot of deliberation, they figured it was the right time. Ananya had gotten into Stanford and was leaving for the US mid-September, where the scrutiny would be much lesser than Madrid. And she was already on notice period in her office, so the impact on her work situation would be subdued too. Big tournaments were over, it was the beginning of a new season, so no expectation per se of being seen together in big matches. And Jude really really wanted to do this before she left for 2 long years. He had managed to convince her it was the right time, and she couldn’t deny the logic. 

The act of going public was via a photo Jude had posted on his story, of the two of them. Jobe had clicked it at their family home in Birmingham a few months ago - a simple shot of them sitting together outdoors for barbecue, Jude’s arm around her shoulders and her head resting slightly on his shoulder, a happy smile on their faces, eyes sparkling with contentment. Ananya had diligently gone through all their photos to pick the absolute appropriate one, and Jude agreed with the choice. 

Along with the photo was a caption of Jude announcing that he was seeing her, but no tag was made to her private account. And there was an explicit request for privacy, stating she is a private person. The expected backlash came, but not as much as she was anticipating. There was obviously a lot of immediate interest in knowing more about her but there wasn’t anything on the internet since her insta was private & she wasn’t on other socials. So the fan pages & gossip sites didn’t have much to go on after a week and the trending went down. Gradually, most fans turned quite vociferous that the couple should get the privacy that they were requesting for, after they realised this was not some stunt & the pair genuinely wanted to keep it low key. In fact, people respected the fact that he was announcing his commitment & not playing any games with them or the media. And they respected it even more that the girl wanted no part of this limelight, that she was actually a normal girl. Well, most people did. There was of course the lot who called her too simple & basic and thoroughly undeserving of their prince. 

Jude had offered to get her security for the time she was in Madrid but she wanted to just stay normal. They had agreed to revisit it if things got crazy, but thankfully it didn’t, since Jude & his team were super tight-lipped about her & the house stance was there will be no further comment on this. So even the tabloids didn’t have much to go on beyond the speculative pieces. She had conceded to let Agnes be her dedicated chauffeur though, out of concern for people recognising her on the streets or in the metro. 

Her office had been another story. It was right in the heart of Madrid and people were simply stunned with this development. On the first day back at work, a random woman who Ananya had never seen before sat next to her in the cafeteria and straight up asked how Jude was in bed. Ananya was tongue-tied. Then, Roma stood up to give a cutting speech for people to drop their creepiness and get a life. Post that, the murmurs at the back continued but folks didn’t bother asking her this stuff directly. 

Some girls were red with jealousy, in sheer disbelief of how someone ‘plain’ like Ananya could land Jude or where they would have even met. It initially bothered Ananya, but with Roma’s help she eventually started finding it amusing. Of course with her close girl gang she still had to answer a lot of questions, with their giggling faces staring at her, but that was something she didn’t think she could ever get out of.

Jude was super present during that first week, calling / texting her every few hours, to the point of annoying her. But she appreciated the nagging; she knew he was doing it to distract her and it worked. Overall, the going public thing had gone as smoothly as was realistically possible in their situation. 

And tonight would be the first time they would be out together, outside of their closest friends or his family. Jude was quite looking forward to it. She didn’t know he was going to be there, since he had an overlapping shoot, but it got done quickly & he wanted to surprise her. Well, Roma too, but mostly her.

‘Hey man, wassup?’

Chris greeted him warmly when he entered. Chris was an American & not a football fan, so was quite chill with Jude. 

‘Hey, where’s the birthday girl?’

‘Oh she’s everywhere. Just saw her like 2 mins ago.’

‘And you’re on gate duty?’

‘Pretty much.’

‘Figures.’

‘Oh my god YOU MADE IT.’

Roma dashed from across the room and hugged Jude tightly, making him smile.

‘What a welcome. And Happy Birthdayyy!’

‘Thank you. And what do we have here?’

She looked at the bag curiously, spotting the RM logo on it. Jude handed it to her, and fully expected the resulting shriek when she saw the signed Zidane jersey inside.

‘I LOVE YOU. OH MY GOD. Best day of my life.’

Jude & Chris smiled at her antics as she spun around with joy while hugging the jersey. Shortly after, Jude excused himself to find his girl, making his way to the pool where Roma had last seen her.

But he froze in the doorway. Because she was there, with HIM.

The last person Jude ever wanted to see in this world, was standing next to his girlfriend, immersed in a deep conversation. Her full attention was on him, nodding along, as if he had just discovered all the unknown secrets of the universe & was sharing his findings. What a fucking leech!

Jude had done a fantastic job of just zoning this guy out from their lives. They never talked about him since that Christmas cabin visit. Even though he knew they saw each other at work every day. The understanding was that she would tell him if anything major ever happens with that guy or anyone else. She hadn’t said anything, so Jude knew nothing of note had happened. But unfortunately, that didn’t mean that he stopped existing. Around her. Coz he was still very much there. And this moment just made it too fucking real. 

If it were up to Jude, that guy won’t ever be in the 10km radius of her. Obviously, at work, he couldn’t control that. But there was no fucking way he was going to let this little scene continue here. Hell no. It was time to show that irritating insect his place.

Ananya felt Jude’s presence, a shift in the air, a whiff of his cologne, before she felt his hand on her waist, turning her slightly towards him, into his side.

‘Hey baby.’

He said in an audible sing-song voice. Their eyes met. And in that split second, her eyes urged him to appreciate the situation & be the bigger person but Jude was having none of that. 

His other hand cupped her jaw, and she shut her eyes when Jude tilted her face up & leaned in for a kiss, letting his lips linger for two seconds more than a casual greeting kiss. His hand on her jaw firmly covering the meeting of their lips, shielding her & their moment from that guy’s gaze, somehow managing to make his point yet keeping it private.

Ananya knew fully well what he was doing. But there was nothing she could do. He would never admit his little ploy and would throw something like ‘what I can’t kiss my girlfriend?’ or ‘what’s your excuse now?’

And she had no logical reason. Because the argument to be sensitive to Arjun’s feelings would be a non-starter for Jude. 

Also, even after 10 months together, she still got a little lightheaded when he held her & kissed her like this. Her hand automatically clutched his shirt lightly as he kept her steady with his hold on her waist. She sighed a little when he broke the kiss, still leaning into him, holding on to him, needing a moment to recover while Jude dropped his hand from her face and turned to look at the immobile guy standing in front of them.

Arjun felt bile rise in his throat in real time. He wanted to run, but felt like his feet had been plastered into the ground. 

Jude fucking Bellingham was standing in front of him. Kissing the girl who had stolen his heart so badly that he was still trying to put the pieces back together. 

His favourite player of the season, from his lifelong favourite club, was dating the girl of his dreams. The girl who was simply perfect for him in every which way. But had chosen to go with the guy who already had so much. Way too much, yet he took her too. 

How was it fair? It was like some super-natural forces of the universe aligned to make her pick him. She wasn’t like that, not her. In fact she hated such intrusive attention. The connection had to be that deep for her to be willing to deal with all that came with it, and even go public with him.

The last thought made him sick. But Arjun recovered quickly when Jude turned to look at him.

An awkward staring contest ensued. Neither men breaking it. Jude didn’t want to and Arjun didn’t know how to. 

It just hit Arjun what his current favourite player must have thought of him all these months, & none of those would have been remotely pleasant thoughts. It also soured the Clasico experience for him. Watching it live at the Bernabeu was one of his most treasured memories, but now he understood how they were in the VIP box and who she was with that night when Arjun & others were out partying after the match. It made him look at it in a very different light. That was the night he had lost her. 

Not that he ever had her, or even tried to. For weeks before that night, he had thought of asking her out. His best friend had nudged him multiple times. But Arjun believed that rushing things with her won’t go well. She needed time & space to first get to know him, only after that he could make a move. 

But lo & behold, rules of the game didn’t apply to this privileged golden boy. He came out of nowhere & swept her off her feet. What were the odds? But clearly his luck defied all odds. What a surprise! A cruel joke!

It also wasn’t lost on him where Jude’s hand was firmly planted - below her waist but right above her butt. Like only a boyfriend could. He looked away, he just had to.

Ananya had recovered by then & tugged on Jude’s shirt lightly to break the deafening silence. He complied with a curt nod to Arjun.

‘Jude.’

No handshake, no warm side-hug. A very un-like Jude kinda greeting. 

Arjun almost wanted to scoff. Like he didn’t know who Jude was. Actually, he wished he didn’t know him. Watching him on his screen every match would be painful now. 

‘Arjun.’

He nodded back. Ananya was secretly glad that Arjun didn’t lose his bearing in front of Jude. Most guys would have in this situation, especially when Jude was being kinda brattish. 

The two men couldn’t have been more different. Jude was dressed head to toe in a chic designer ensemble, oozing natural ease & confidence, while Arjun was in a sharp formal shirt & trousers, measured & classy. 

She tried to come up with something smart to say, anything to cut the tension here, but her brain betrayed her at the worst possible moment. So she took an easy way out.

‘Umm let’s get a drink Jude?’

The said man turned towards her, and his gaze softened immediately as he nodded.

She grabbed his arm & started leading him towards the bar, away from the scene.

‘See you tomorrow!’

Ananya bid her goodbye politely to Arjun.

‘Yeah let’s continue where we left off.’

That irked Jude. A lot. He almost wanted to turn around & say something, but Ananya was diligently dragging him away. Well, she was trying. So he swallowed his irritation & played along. A drink won’t hurt at this time.

Thankfully, they found a fairly tipsy Roma at the bar, and her overjoyed mood rubbed off on the rest. Ananya felt the tension in Jude’s posture ease gradually, and his arm wrapped around her shoulders from behind. She leaned back into him, and allowed herself to drown in the merriment around her. Later, Roma dragged the group to the makeshift dance floor as the DJ blared one hit after the other.

After dancing & drinking their hearts out, Roma & Ananya somehow found themselves hugging each other, swaying to the music. Jude & Chris let them be, enjoying their drinks, and were on catching duty in case one of them trips, which looked very likely to them.

‘What a great party!’

‘It really is, isn’t it?’

‘I’m so glad you’re having the best birthday.’

‘Well, I’m with my fav people, so…’

‘Awww.’

‘How’s the ‘I love Ananya’ club going?’

Ananya rolled her eyes loudly & lightly smacked her arm, but Roma just shrugged & laughed.

‘Not too bad I guess.’

‘Has Jude tried to hit him?’

‘NO.’

‘Curse him?’

‘NO.’

‘Has he tried to drag you to the washroom to take you then & there?’

‘Oh god no.’

‘So it’s going pretty good then.’

‘I guess so.’

Jude decided to intervene in that moment, wrapping an arm each around both of them.

‘Heard my name. Missing me much?’

‘Think of the devil…..’

Roma said dramatically.

‘Pls, you love me. And a bit more after today.’

When Ananya enquired what they were referring to, Roma mentioned the signed jersey, and Ananya immediately turned to look at Jude, crossing her arms.

‘There’s one waiting for you at home. Did you really think I’d forget about you?’

She smiled, untangled herself from Roma & went to give Jude a big hug, which he reciprocated immediately. And Roma left the lovebirds alone to attend other guests.

It was that time of the night when the people were high and music had mellowed down to match the vibe. Ananya’s face was buried in his chest, tucked under his chin, as he held her & swayed her lightly to the tune.

‘Are people looking?’

‘Doesn’t matter.’

‘But….’

‘Doesn’t matter babe. And no, not too much actually.’

‘Hmmm.’

Jude slowly caressed her back, which relaxed her & she sighed into his chest, losing herself in the moment again. She could do that, drink freely & not worry about a thing, coz Jude was here now. 

Arjun had tried very hard to keep the happy couple out of his sight, since that puke inducing moment. He even tried to respond to the advances of a hot blonde girl he had never seen before, who was talking like a 7 yr old for some reason, but Arjun tried to focus more on the hotness piece for now. And how she was half falling over him, rubbing his arm repeatedly. 

Despite his best efforts, his eyes flicked at times towards her. What hit him more was not so much the kiss (it was painful, no question) but the deep emotional intimacy & connection she seemed to share with the other guy. 

The way she smiled at him; it was the same smile Arjun had seen many times in the office when she looked at a text on her phone or went to take a quick call in one of the empty conference rooms. 

The way her skin flushed at his suggestive touches, or when he leaned over to whisper something teasing in her ear. (Arjun had to fight to not imagine how flushed she would get in other situations.)

The way she melted into his arms, fully in sync, moving when he moved, sharing an unspoken language with him, talking through their eyes. So fucking palpably in love. 

But she looked happy. At peace. How could he ever be mad at that? How could he ever wish for that to go away? He couldn’t.

Arjun did wonder though what Jude did to deserve such unconditional bond with her. DID HE DESERVE it at all? He was a footballer after all - a young, rich, popular, handsome one whose fame had just skyrocketed. Their history with women was no secret, nor was their lifestyle. Even in the last year, there were multiple articles about him speculating his relationships. Was he cheating on her & manipulating her to believe otherwise? Coz she won’t tolerate cheating, Arjun knew she would walk away. So why then did she choose to stick with him? When it was quite obvious how this would end. One day, he’d hurt her. Bad. And she, of all people, didn’t deserve it. Arjun just wished she sees that soon, before she gets too attached. But it looked like that ship had already sailed.

The blonde girl was making heart eyes at him by now, after blabbering something about wanting to take a drive, and that was his cue to get the fuck out of this party. Away from the sight of them.

Ananya swayed in Jude’s arms for god knows how long. She was relieved at how he had calmed down, and was quite proud of how maturely he had handled the situation after the initial hiccup. But later that night, when they were in the car with Roma & Chris, on their way back from the party, she felt something shift in his mood from the way his hand gripped her thigh, firmly & possessively.

Roma suggested an afterparty at their apartment but Jude intervened decisively to say Ananya & him would head to his place, which was on the way to the girls’ apartment. When they reached, Jude opened the door, extended a hand to help Ananya out & bid goodbye to the other couple. Ananya felt his turmoil from the way he held her hand tightly, and the short walk from their driveway to the main door made her nervous. 

Once inside, when Jude was locking the door & putting the alarm on, Ananya had to think quickly on her feet. When he turned around, she extended her arms towards him, cocking her head to the side, smiling lazily, something she knew he found adorable. Indicating that she wanted to be carried.

Jude looked at her face, then her arms, then back at those pouty lips. His eyes softened & he exhaled sharply, giving in.

When he picked her up, she thought she would be carried upstairs to the comfort of their bed but Jude brought her to the garden, to the edge of the pool.

‘What are we doing here?’

‘Well, you said you had never been thrown in the pool at a pool party.’

But he didn’t throw her in. The pool was only 5 feet & he didn’t wanna risk a bad fall. So he set her down, took off everything he was wearing (barring his briefs) and swiftly slipped inside the pool.

‘Come on in.’

She was wearing a deep blue summer dress, thin straps at the top, fitted till the waist and widely flowing from waist-down till below her knees. 

‘The dress?’

‘Take it off.’

‘We are outside.’

‘It’s dark. Only the porch light is on.’

It was dark. Only moonlight twinkling on the water. Plus the yard had high trees & fences. But it was still outside & it made her nervous. Especially now, when so much attention was on them. She’d be damned if someone saw them half-naked in the pool. 

Jude ducked his head in & emerged back, fully wet, water dripping from his sharp jaw-line & hair.  Eyes only on her. Straight out of a wet obscene dream. Impossible to say no to.

Slowly, she took off the dress, & his hungry gaze landed on her matching deep blue lingerie, escorting her as she stepped inside the pool. He stayed still, letting her come to him.

Ananya wanted to talk about what he was feeling, but Jude had other plans. Wildly different plans.  When she scooted close & cupped his cheeks, staring into his turbulent eyes, Jude caught her wrists, pinning them behind her back firmly, and crashed their lips together in a kiss that made her hot all over in the cool water.

He let her wrists go, moving his hands to her boobs, squeezing them hard, taking off the wretched garment covering the sweet mounds, tearing his mouth away from her lips to suck the hardening nubs. She gasped at the sudden intensity, trying to hold on to his shoulders to anchor herself, but his actions were rapid, not letting her settle.

‘Jude…honey….pls look at me….’

She tried to cup his cheeks again, but Jude lifted her by her waist & placed her on the steps, spreading her legs wide apart. Her panties were ripped off in seconds and she grabbed the railing on the steps when Jude moved his mouth between her lags, lapping at her with a pace that made her want to scream. And she did scream when he ate her out relentlessly, making her wet for more than one reason. 

The intensity of his mouth made her clutch the back of his head, trying to slow him down but Jude grabbed her hips harshly and used the angle to double down, not coming up till he completely shattered her, making her scream his name in agony mixed with ecstasy, forcing her to peak over & over with the force of his will. Only stopping when she fell forward, catching her before she slipped, letting her rest against his torso as she panted into his chest. Sweaty wet bodies squished together.

He let her catch her breath, threading his fingers through her hair absentmindedly, before backing her against the wall of the pool, lifting her by the butt to wrap her legs around his waist, and lowering himself inside her with a few quick, precise strokes.

They were face to face now, her arms around his neck, as he briskly moved inside her, manoeuvring her lower body to constantly hit different angles, making her gasp with almost each stroke. 

Her nails dug into his shoulders as she weakly pressed her lips against his, breathing into his mouth. 

‘I love you.’

She whispered. And he just thrusted harder, sending shockwaves through her body. 

‘Jude….I love you.’

He tensed, following it up with another frenzied thrust.

‘And HE loves you. STILL.’

Ananya shut her eyes, feeling his hurt, while her body thrummed with pleasure. She didn’t want their private moments to be infiltrated by someone else’s thoughts, this should just be about the two of them.

‘Not denying it then?’

She pulled herself apart a bit to look into his stormy eyes - rougher than a tsunami, more intense than the depths of an ocean.

‘You’re….not…letting me…speak..’

He groaned animatedly, only half satisfied with the response, and went back to ravishing her. Usually, when Jude had a task that he set his mind to, he executed it flawlessly. This was no different. His mission to drown his frustration under her breathless moans was playing out to the T. Momentarily, he forgot the pang he felt in his heart when he saw the two of them together. And the realisation that this happened every fucking day. That creature saw her, lurked around her every fucking day. And there was nothing Jude could do about it. 

She came again, screaming his name, her walls squeezing him deliciously, wrangling his high out of him too. Coating her insides fully, not separating till he was convinced she won’t drip.

Jude helped her out of the pool, on to the lounger on the side, and slowly tapped at her soaked form with a towel. She took over a few moments later, and he went to fetch a towel for himself.

When her senses recovered, she wrapped the towel around herself & quickly looked around to find any sign of anyone possibly watching them, but as Jude had meticulously explained so many times, it wasn’t possible. Someone could have heard her though, she was convinced she sounded like a cat that ran under a car.

Her boyfriend was drying himself a few steps away, his back to her. His words were still playing at the back of her mind. She stood up gently, her legs a bit wobbly still, and hugged him from behind, resting her face on his broad back.

He sighed, covering her hand with his.

‘You okay?’

‘More than ok. Coz I’m with you.’

When he didn’t say anything, she walked around him to look at his pretty (& still wet) face, finally cupping his cheeks softly and pulling him down for a lingering kiss. 

‘Take me to bed now?’

‘Yeah.’

She was lifted bridal style again, and she smiled this time, loving the princess treatment. Walking away, she could vaguely see their undergarments just floating in the pool, & made a mental note of fixing that later. She’d absolutely die if the housekeeper finds them like that.

When they passed the kitchen on their way up, Jude asked if she wanted to have something, given she had a fair bit to drink. But she just wanted to hold him & kiss him & tell him how much she loved him. Why it didn’t matter what a third person might feel. This was just about the two of them.

He laid her on the bed, and she pulled him down next to her, curling into his side, placing soft kisses on his chest.

‘My baby.’

She cooed to him, reaching up to caress his face, showering him with affection before broaching the sensitive topic.

Jude’s head was still all over the place. And her soft, inviting body rubbing against his made his blood rush south. Fast & hard. He was nowhere close to being done with her, not tonight.

When Jude pulled her towel off, flipped her to get on top, pinning her hands over her head (all in a few seconds), she squirmed & wriggled underneath him, breaking away from his kiss. That offended him, deeply.

‘What?’

‘Wait…pls wait.’

‘We should talk first.’

‘About what?’

‘You know what.’

‘I don’t want to. Not now. Later.’

He dove in again and she evaded his mouth again. 

‘SERIOUSLY? You’re saying no to me now?’

Jude wasn’t used to that. She had never refused him when he was in such a mood and needed her badly. His mind obviously linked it to an unpleasant reason, & she saw the hurt instantly on his face.

Agitated, he rolled away from her, sitting up on the bed. She sat up too, pulling the sheet around herself, and shifted next to him, speaking softly. 

‘I’m not saying no. Just saying we should talk first.’

‘And I’m saying I don’t wanna talk right now. That counts for nothing?’

‘It’s not good to bottle things between us, baby. It’s not healthy.’

‘I will just fucking end up saying something that would get you mad. Can’t you see that?’

‘I won’t get mad. Wanna hear what’s in your heart.’

She moved to caress his back but he stood up abruptly to pace around the bed.

‘I HATE HIM.’

‘I know.’

‘I HATE that he’s with you every fucking day. Looking at you. Fantasising about you. Fucking son of a…’

‘Jude. I hear you. And I get it. But pls believe me when I say this - I’ve never felt uncomfortable around him. A girl knows, she just knows. He’s not like that.’

He stopped pacing & crossed his arms, staring straight at her.

‘Oh he’s not, yeah?’

‘Yes, he’s not. If I would have felt uncomfortable even once, I would have done something about it. Remember our deal? I said I’d come to you if there ever was anything - but it’s just not true. Not when he was….when he had….feelings. And not now, when he has moved on.’

Jude looked at her like a detective investigating a criminal.

‘How do know he has moved on?’

Ananya took a deep breath to calm herself. Did he think she was keeping tabs or something? 

‘Roma told me he’s been on a few dates. Even with women in our office.’

‘How do you know those are dates & not hook-ups?’

‘How does that even matter?’

Jude scoffed like she asked him something silly, which irked her.

‘Hook-ups are for sex. Doesn’t mean he’s over you.’

She looked at him with irritation, looking for something to beat his logic.

‘He’s not the hookups type. At least….I don’t think so.’

This time, Jude simply laughed in her face.

‘Sure, so he’ll just say no to sex yeah? You’re so cute sometimes. I’ve NEVER met a man like that.’

His tone & presumptuousness was starting to get on her nerves now. What was the poor guy supposed to do? Die? Leave the city? His job? Because Jude didn’t like him? It had been 10 months for crying out loud. The world does not revolve around one person. 

‘Not everyone is like….’

She checked herself at the last second, horrified, but Jude pounced on it.

‘Like what? Like me? That’s it, isn’t it? You think he’s better than me, don’t you? Morally superior, high Indian values and all that? Someone you can take to your parents easily? Where you don’t have to set the ground for MONTHS and even then want to wait for the right time for an in-person meeting, like in our case? SAY IT ANANYA.’

She flinched at his words and the hurt in his voice. Shaken, she rushed to him, throwing her arms around him desperately, whispering sorry into his chest. He didn’t say anything, but his posture eased, deflated. She dragged him to the edge of the bed, making him sit down & then climbed into his lap, kissing all over his face.

‘I’m sorry honey. Didn’t mean it like that. I’m so sorry.’

She kissed his face again, and he loosely wrapped his arms around her.

Ananya cupped his cheeks and made him look into her eyes.

‘Listen to me. No third person can come between us, not anymore. No one can sway us, unless our intent is to cheat. Do you think I want to?’

‘No.’

‘Then that’s it. Whatever he or anyone else might feel is irrelevant. You can hate him & you’re justified, I won’t stop you.’

‘But you don’t hate him.’

‘I don’t have a reason to.’

‘And you have a soft corner for him, you always defend him. Don’t deny that.’

She wasn’t going to insult his intelligence by denying that.

‘Maybe.’

‘Why? What has it always been there?’

‘Initially, coz he was kind, respectful & not chauvinistic. It’s rare in my field, believe me. And then later…..’

She had to pick her words carefully, especially when Jude was watching her like a hawk.

‘Maybe I feel guilty….for hurting him unknowingly. And I am thankful that he respected my choice & never made me uncomfortable. That’s also rare in my field, and for men in general.’

‘What if he’s using that to wait in the wings, waiting for me to fuck this up so he can be the knight in shining armour?’

‘He’ll have to keep waiting then.’

‘Can you promise me that?’

‘Promise you what?’

‘That you’ll never be with him. No matter what.’

She looked at his face curiously, thinking over this strange ask. Unfair ask. The feminist in her was screaming inside that it was wildly inappropriate for him to ask her this. He had no right to. What she did if they didn’t end up together was really none of his business. How could he try to dictate her life like that? 

But the girlfriend in her could see that her man was hurting. The way his eyes were twitching, waiting for her response, the way his hands were fidgeting on her back, the nervous gulps, the way his voice broke when he said that last line - Jude was in pain and if it was in her power to soothe him, she was absolutely going to.

‘Ok.’

This caught him off guard. He was 90% sure this would be one of the things that would make her mad. But he knew he wanted this promise from the moment he saw the two of them together.

‘Happy now?’

He shook his head & rested his forehead against hers.

‘Scared.’

‘Why, my love? You have me, all of me.’

‘Feels like you’ll slip away, no matter how hard I try to keep you mine. If it’s not this asshole, it might be some other prick from this super elite school you are going to, a million miles away.’

‘Your fear is growing, coz your love for me is growing. That’s how love works.’

‘It’s wretched.’

‘Sure is.’

‘Do you feel it too, the fear?’

‘All the time. Like at least a million women would kill to be in my place, I know that.’

‘But no one can be you.’

‘And no one can be you.’

‘Man I love you.’

‘Finally. Kept me waiting all day.’

They moved at the same time for a kiss, sighing into each others’ mouth. 

‘Need one more promise.’

‘What now?’

‘You’ll let me fly you down whenever you can spare any time. None of this ‘I can’t splurge on you’ nonsense anymore. It’s not splurging. I NEED you. I fucking need you with me.’

‘Ok.’

‘Don’t go back on this later.’

‘I won’t.’

‘God I’m gonna miss you. How is it just a month? You’ll be gone, and I won’t get to hold you every night, see this face every morning.’

She was trying very hard to hold herself together but this did her in. Her choked voice came in a whisper.

‘And…you think I won’t miss you too?’

A tear rolled down her cheek, jolting him instantly.

‘Hey, hey….shhhhh.’

‘When I’m the one going away, when I’m the one putting us through this, don’t you think I feel guilty?’

‘Oh baby, no, not this. It’s ok.’

He wiped her tears, patting her back slowly.

‘How is it ok, when I wake up in the middle of the night & stare at your sleeping face, and it makes me NOT WANT TO GO?’

With that, all the pent up emotions of last few months came out, along with the waterworks. Jude held her through it, letting her soak his shoulder with her emotions, cooing softly into her ear.

Minutes later, when she calmed down & clung to his chest, an idea struck him.

‘I have the perfect thing to make you feel better.’

She thought he was talking about sleeping. She couldn’t be more wrong.

He wrestled the sheets off from around her, with her still in his lap, and lifted her by her butt to carry her to the large French window in his bedroom.

‘Let’s make new memories together. You get what I mean by ‘new’ yeah?’

‘I always get what you mean. You’re never subtle.’

‘That’s your department. I just take what I want.’

With that, he flipped her naked body & pressed her front to the window, the cold glass making her shudder.

This was not like the pool. It looked into the street. Ananya could see cars passing by and some people too. There were still lights outside.

‘Jude people can….’

‘Dark inside. Lights outside. They can’t see us. Basic science.’

‘But…’

Before she could finish the sentence, he lifted one of her legs to get the right angle & pressed his tip against her entrance, his other hand coming to her front, sliding down to rub circles on her clit. Shutting her up. For words at least.

For the next half hour, she was pushed & thrusted against the window, her body & laboured breaths painting the glass with marks. As he moved her like he owned her. And maybe he did. And maybe she liked that.

Later that night, Jude woke her up with kisses down her back, starting from that spot right at the back of her neck which immediately made her gooey. Her sleepy eyes, groggy voice & messy hair spread across the pillow turning him on even more. Telling her that since they only had a month left before she leaves, they had to make their time extra efficient. Basic logic. She quipped that it was ‘basic Jude logic’ but shifted readily on her back to invite him in & even helped him to get ‘ready’ quickly. Like he knew she would. Like they were perfectly in sync, as Arjun had so righty observed.

.....................................

There you go. 6.4k words.

I came back after a long time & enjoyed writing this. Hope you like it too. As always, would absolutely love to hear your thoughts.

P.S. - This does not mean I am back. Made an exception for this one coz I was missing Jude Ananya too, but I don't plan to write more. So enjoy this one.

Also, this is an spin-off, not a part of the series. The series still ended at Ch 20. Anything after that are possible future scenarios, but not a part of the series.

[millermouth]

hi!! i’m kinda new to asks/requests (and also tlou), but was wondering if you were interested in writing a joel fic about his hard of hearing/partial deafness?

can be fluffy/angsty or whatever, just thought i’d put the idea out there (idk if joel’s deafness is written about a lot, sorry if it is) 🫶🫶

Joel Miller x Reader Only A Whisper

Fluffy Jackson!Joel who is afraid of feelings, of hope, of letting himself have something as good as you. But in the quiet of the night, when you think he can't hear, you whisper the words he’s too scared to say. a/n: I'm deeply in my feels with this one, anon! Thank you! x

Jackson was quiet at night. Peaceful, even. Some nights, she thought she’d get used to it, the way the stillness settled over the town like fresh snow. But other nights, it made her uneasy. A world that hand't been safe for years shouldn’t be this calm.

Still, it was easier with Joel beside her.

He slept on his side, always facing the door, always aware. Even here, with locked doors and walls stronger than most, his body never fully let go of the tension. His arm lay across his stomach, muscles loose in sleep but still there, ready. The old cotton of his shirt had stretched thin over the years, soft with wear, and she could see the slow rise and fall of his breathing.

She hesitated, watching him.

She didn’t know when it had started—the urge to say it. Maybe back on the road, when every day felt like a gamble, or maybe here, when he started softening in the ways only she got to see. Maybe it had been there all along, waiting, patient as the moon, for the edge of survival to wear off, for something gentle to take it's place.

She exhaled slowly, heart beating against her ribs like it wanted to jump right out of her chest.

Leaning in, she whispered, “I love you.”

Into the shell of his bad ear—the one that so often missed words here and there, the one that never caught anything quieter than a shout, or worse, a gunshot—soft as a secret.

He didn’t stir.

Her heart pounded anyway, some part of her half-expecting him to hear, to roll over and look at her with those dark, unreadable eyes and tell her she was being foolish. But he didn’t. His breathing stayed even, his body still.

She let out a small, nervous breath of relief, barely more than a sigh. Then, pressing her forehead against his back, she let her eyes slip shut and let sleep take her.

⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚ ☾⭒.˚

Joel told himself it was just a dream.

The first time, it had caught him off guard. The words had burrowed under his skin and settled in his chest, warm and heavy. He’d kept his breathing even, forced himself to stay still. He wasn’t sure why. Maybe because it was easier to let himself believe it was a dream. A trick of his half-sleeping mind.

But now, the next night when the world was quiet again, she melted up to him once again. Her breathing was labored, hesitant, uncertain as she leaned into him, cuddling up against his back and lips curling near his ear again. Goosebumps rose over his neck at the feeling of her soft breath against him.

"I love you," she said. The words were muffled, like he was hearing them underwater, but there was no mistaking them.

Joel’s fingers twitched where they rested against the sheets. It wasn’t a dream.

The worst part was that he’d been waiting for this.

Waiting for the moment when her heart caught up to his, when she’d say the words he’d already felt pressing against the walls of his chest for weeks, maybe longer.

But now that it was here, he didn’t know what to do with them.

So he did what he always did—he stayed still.

Not because he didn’t want it. Not because it didn’t mean anything. But because it meant too much.

Because Joel Miller didn’t get to have things like this.

Not after all the years of losing, of holding onto things too tight just to have them slip through his fingers. Not after the things he’d done.

The kind of man he’d become.

A bad man. He knew it. Knew it in the way people looked at him, in the way Tommy had, once upon a time. In the way he carried the weight of every choice he’d ever made, every life he’d taken, every moment where survival had meant being cruel enough, brutal enough to make it another day.

And men like that—men like him—didn’t deserve this.

Didn’t deserve her.

And maybe, if he stayed quiet, if he let her believe he hadn’t heard, she wouldn’t have to take it back. So he kept his breathing even. Kept his body relaxed. Let her have this moment without consequence, without the weight of his knowing.

But he knew.

And now, there was no forgetting it.

A long moment passed, her body warm behind him, her forehead pressing gently between his shoulder blades. Then, with a slow sigh, she settled in and let herself fall asleep.

Joel lay awake long after she did.

⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚ ☾⭒.˚

The next night, he listened for it.

Waited for it, like some part of him was hungry for it now.

And sure enough, when everything was quiet, when the warmth of the blankets and the soft rustling of the wind outside settled everything into stillness, she shifted behind him again.

He almost smiled. Almost.

"I love you."

It was different this time. Maybe the first few nights she’d said it for herself, testing it out, seeing how the words felt in the dark. But tonight, there was hope in the way she said it, like some part of her wanted him to hear, to wake up, to know.

He wouldn't let that side of him win—stubborn, stupid, cowardly Joel—couldn’t let her keep whispering into the dark, thinking she was the only one carrying it.

So before she could pull away, before she could tuck herself back into that silence, he rolled over, slow and gentle.

He could hear how her breathe froze, her eyes going wide as he turned to face her. He could just barely see her in the dim light, the way her lips parted, the way her fingers curled into the fabric of the sheets like she wasn’t sure if she should run or stay.

Sliding his arm around her waist, he tugged her in, letting her fit against him in a way that always felt so natural, so right between them. The moment stretched, and he could feel her heart pounding against his chest.

And then, low and rough with sleep, he murmured against her temple, “Might be hard of hearin’, darlin’, but I ain’t deaf.”

She stilled.

Then, after a long, trembling pause, she let out a tiny, wobbly laugh—disbelieving, breathless, like she was afraid to trust it. Afraid to let her guard down, to trust that he wouldn't make her feel like a fool for saying it.

Joel hated that.

He didn’t want her to doubt this. Didn’t want her to think for even a second that she’d imagined it, that it wasn't requited.

So before she could pull away, before she could talk herself out of it, Joel lifted a hand and cradled her face to bring her eyes to his, thumb sweeping gently over her cheek, brushing away a tear.

“Hey,” he murmured, tilting her face up so she’d look at him. “No, don’t do that.”

Her eyes shimmered in the low light, full of something fragile, something nervous, and his heart felt like it was constricting in his chest.

“I love you too, baby,” he said, voice warm, steady and tender. His thumb traced her cheek again, slower this time. “Have for a long time.”

Her lips parted, her breath shuddering against him, and for a second, all she did was stare, like she was trying to hold onto the moment, trying to believe it.

Joel didn’t let her second-guess it. He kissed her temple. Then the bridge of her nose. Then her cheek, slow and soft, like he had all the time in the world.

“Shoulda said it sooner,” he admitted, pressing another kiss into her hair. His grip around her tightened, drawing her fully against his chest. “Thought I was dreamin’ it all these nights.” He exhaled, warm against her skin. “And I’m sorry.”

She shifted, her lips brushing against his stubbled jaw, soft and lingering, "You bastard," he could feel her smiling against him, "you're lucky that I meant it,"

Then, when she let out another small, breathy laugh—lighter this time, softer—he finally let himself smile. Her arms snaked around his middle, holding tight, like she wanted to hang on forever, to never let him go.

He didn’t plan on letting her.

Joel’s hands splayed across her ribs, pulling her in, feeling all of her pressed against him. Warm. Safe. Real.

"Promise I'll make it up to ya, baby." he grinned sleepily as his eyes began to shut again.

And when she tilted her head, when she leaned up and kissed him—soft and sweet, giving in a way that made his chest ache—Joel finally let himself have this.

Just this moment, just this quiet night, wrapped in something so new, so foreign, something he never thought he’d get.

Something like hope.