#she finally came back home!

[lacallemojada]

I'm going home. I know and I'm coming with you.

[nellasbookplanet]

This is such a bittersweet way for Liliana to end. For so much of the campaign, she’s spoken of herself almost as if she believes herself fully lacking in agency regarding her circumstances. As if she had no choice but to join the Vanguard, to stand by while Ludinus and Otohan committ atrocities, to leave her family behind, to put the world on the line. This was the only way she could see to 'save her daughter', so of course there was no choice but to do it. And when Imogen reached out to her, told her that no, I don’t want this, you can still walk away, there’ll be consequences but you can walk away, Liliana dithered. Suddenly there was an undeniable choice - to betray either Ludinus or her daughter - and she didn't want to make it, didn't want to committ to either choice, didn't want to accept that despite all her hardships she does, in fact, have agency.

In the end, she didn’t get to make that choice between Vanguard or Imogen. She dithered for too long, and the agency that she had so long denied having was finally, truly, taken from her.

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.

I don't have external meltdowns.

I could. I don't let it happen.

I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.

So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.

She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.

Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].

It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.

They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.

I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.

I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.

I couldn't understand what made her like this.

But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.

If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.

And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*

And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?

My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.

Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???

And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.

I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*

She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.

I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.

So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.

But I told her hundreds of times.

I probably should have just screamed at her.

[dramas-vs-novels]

True confidence in your dog being a pushover is pissing them off until they snarl at you, then continuing to piss them off while kissing the snarl, inches from sharp teeth that could end you.

I enjoy making Riley angry and daring her to bite me.

As a puppy, when she WAS very bitey, I'd poke her cheek into her teeth so if she bit at my finger she got her own cheek first. She would pretend to gnaw on my finger and snarl really viciously but really she was lightly gumming her own cheek.

[izzy-b-hands]

Going on almost week fucking three of a lot of days not going my way and im starting to get a little frustrated*

*fucking furious

[deus-ex-mona]

pretty minor thing to think about, but i find it interesting how chapter 7 is the first chapter illustration to show chizuutan as chizuru (instead of chuutan)

like, i get it’s a flashback chapter, but we hardly got to see her as chizuru in the previous few chapters thus far… maybe we’ll get to see more of her as her true self after the hiyori fight/make up? only future chapters may tell, i guess…

[pardonmydelays]

i had so much fun last night omg

[front-facing-pokemon]

[slippery-minghus]

oof

[flowering-darkness]

Let's go for one of your non-romantic S/Is! 💬 + Mimi Aster + Meta Knight? — @edencantstopfallininlove

Ooh, yes, sure thing, friend!! Thank you kindly for this~

(I included a render of what Mimi looks like, just as a reminder in case anyone wants it!)

(source: this post by queenieboo22)

send me 💬 and a character and I’ll give you a line my self-insert would say if in a canon interaction with them. - I think I would set this just after the boss fight against him in Star Allies! Mimi's adventures in the Kirby games roughly follow real time per when they each released, so she's about fifteen here.

"So even you can be affected by the power of the dark hearts, Sir Meta Knight.. That's so scary! Even so, I- I'm glad we could get through to you eventually! It's almost funny.. You weren't fighting any way at all like you usually do. That was probably the dark heart's doing. But, even so - you've been training me since nearly the first day I crash-landed on Popstar, and that meant I knew exactly what to do to keep up with you in battle! It's true that I don't enjoy fighting - fighting against friends like you least of all, especially with how it went last time.. But, it's worked out this time! And now we can adventure side by side once again - as Kirby's friends and this planet's protectors!! ..That is, if you want to come with us?"

I hope this is alright! Thank you once again for sending this in!~

[the-casbah-way]

even though i really love what hrt is doing to me it has made me so self conscious because i know my body is changing more visibly now and i don't like the idea that people who know me very well will be able to see that. i just hate the idea of people looking at me. and i worry that the people i care about will like me less the more they look at me because i'm ugly

[stupidlovepurplepeace]

Rest in peace Mateo, I'll miss you

[trevisos]

this made me feel fucking ill. btw. “i wanted to give her the world she deserved.”

[skoulsons]

“You think I’m afraid to die?”

“I think you want it.”

Something something Lincoln’s death hurt Daisy so much and rid of her of any form of caring about her mental of physical health. She dipped into depression and some tendencies, perhaps, and thought that distancing herself was the answer

Maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much if she was apart from them for a while. Only it’s her family and they couldn’t forget her even if they tried.

Simmons finds her and patches up her bullet wound. Elena supplies her pills, but reminds her on the bus that Coulson cares. May talking with her on the bus and reminding her that Coulson cares. Mack and Fitz talking to her as well, Mack borderline crying because he just wanted her to come home. Fitz angry and yelling, but because he missed her. Because he felt like she turned her back on them despite them being a family

And Coulson. Not pushing her at all. Daisy asking him if he had anything else to say, as he always managed to have a quip or something else to add

But all he has, all he believes she needs in that moment, is “I’m just glad you’re safe”

And all of those encounters with her family. All of those moments and words that stick in her mind. They bring her back home. She tells Coulson (albeit trying to be indirect and failing) “there are a… few things I’ve missed”

[isa-ah]

what a fucking awful experience

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

don't want to declare victory for the war on ants quite yet but i think i did win a battle...