#she dropped off social media and changed her number a couple years ago

[claireelle18]

Long Live - Ross Colton

A/N: I wrote this up after hearing the news about Colton going to the Avs and also blasting Taylor Swift. I felt like it just made sense in this situation.

“And the Tampa Bay Lightning are your 2021 Stanley Cup Champions! Back to back!” The announcement shook through the arena. Air thick with electricity as realization kicked in. The team had done it. A back to back Stanley Cup run. Kings of NHL - a powerhouse of a team. Photographs snapped in every direction, smiles bright, whole body shaking with the adrenaline, as everyone tried to capture the moment. As fans started to exit into the downtown area, the team welcomed their families onto the ice to soak in the moment of what just became reality. 

After coming off of last years run, the team had been determined to make another run for this years cup, holding the reins. Once a dream, Lord Stanley hoisted by team captain Steven Stamkos. “Remember this moment, here and now. Soak it all in babe,” she remarked to her boyfriend. He stood like a deer when caught in the headlights of a car, wide eye. By morning, if not earlier due to social media, the pictures would be on every major local tabloid. 

“We are going down in franchise history as the team who brought back to back cups,” one of the guys chirped. “We will be remembered.” 

Flash forward to the post season of the 2022-2023 season. Passing pictures around of that time as it came time to say goodbye to the town that created the player he was today tugged on his heart strings a bit more. All those years of work for him, his family cheering him on. She stood by his side, on the sidelines - whether that was physically or following along over social media, for every little victory, including a third Stanley Cup Final and then being kicked out in round one of the next year’s playoffs. 

He never dreamt that he’d trade in his minor jerseys years ago to earning his NHL branded one. 

Memories that were embedded into those walls, into the city, photographed and tucked away into an album to look back on years later. Waiting for those who asked the stories behind each photo. Looking at the boxes stacked containing those years in their city, ready to be unpacked in the coming week. Into a new place. In a new city, across the country.

She sat in a corner with the album. Small salty drops dripped onto the protective plastic. “Loves what is it?” he asked, concerned. 

“I’ve had the time of my life, watching as you built your career, cheering you on. It’s just wild to think of the start of it all to now.” Not long after he came to Tampa is when the two met. She was the one to ask him for his number, but he asked for the date. 

“Are you worried about the move?” 

“More worried about the change for us.” News came a few days prior to Draft Day. Tampa couldn’t keep him, and the Colorado Avs offered a trade deal to acquire him. Moving away from the city that brought them together, onto the next adventure. “I know it’s not ideal, but I’m scared that if fate steps in, forcing a goodbye between us,” a hushed voice followed by a small sob explained. That fear of the change to come would tear the couple apart. She’d help him move, then tie up her part in Tampa, before coming out to Colorado, joining him. 

His heart ached for her. “It’s not gonna happen. No goodbyes, a few see ya laters just like always. Just like this is an away game trip hunny. When our children point to the pictures - you’re going to explain the love story we created, and then explain it to our grandchildren.” 

She questioned, “Children?” He nodded his head, scooting to rest on one knee. 

“Ideally, this would have been more planned, but I think we need some magic and we need to create a happy memory in our new home.” The new home that she helped pick out, because even with this upside-down shock, he wanted…needed her there. In their home. A black velvet box appears from his pants pocket. “Marry me.” Not a question, a statement because he was so sure of his future with her, no matter where the two went or the universe threw in their direction.

Nodding, more tears cascading down her face, pulling him in for a kiss. She noticed the uniqueness of the glittering ring that adorned her ring finger. “What’s the story behind it?” 

“I know you prefer an older style for jewelry, so I had a stone that was in my family cut into that pear shape, the outside adorned with sapphires to represent where we met and fell in love. Long live us, our relationship - no matter what is thrown our way.” 

[joellesolo]

So, okay, I’ve been on this site for over eleven years now (!!) and today I was randomly thinking about some of my tumblr crushes and realized in the prime of my tumblring, ten eleven years ago, every single thought I had was made into a post. Every single one of them. I was so bad with oversharing. In that vein, here’s some thoughts on my tumblr crushes (in no order) and what happened with them:

1. This one was a very, very minor crush. It started, then I could sense sizzling between him and my BFF and shut it down. He is only mentioned because he comes up during crush #2. He also turned out to be a douchebag; he would send me hate mail on anon. I had an IP tracker and was like, what the fuck, and he’d deny it, until he and my bff started dating and he admitted to her that he’d do it when he was drunk. (Which was a lie, because, who’s drunk at two pm? Don’t @ me with time zones, he was on the west coast too. Happened all the time.)

2. This one was a big crush, like, oh wow. For several years. And I always kinda thought there was something reciprocated because we talked a lot, about everything from Star Wars to GoT to pets and, yeah, years of talking. He’s actually one of the two people I’ve ever met off of tumblr. So, we’re sitting there at Starbucks, and I’m freaking out because I’m sitting with a tumblr crush (!!!) and it happens to be the same day my bff flew out to see crush #1 for the first time and I brought that up. And he gets really sad, and goes, yeah I know, I’ve had a crush on her for forever. And then I shrivel up and die inside because I legit thought he might’ve liked me as more than a friend, but just laugh it off and go ha, ha, funny, because I used to crush on #1! and then we changed topics and that was the end of that crush. 

3. This guy was probably like... most serious? In the sense of how much I liked him. (Keep in mind, I was still very much in love with Michael throughout all of these crushes but thought that wasn’t reciprocated and was looking elsewhere.) He actually followed me for the longest time and send me messages during tumblr games and would compliment my pictures and I’d interact with him but at the time I had like, 500 followers (not a bunch, I know, but it was for me) and I didn’t follow every single person who followed me and by this point I was sure anyone who would even think of liking me must be a creeper in some way. (Because, I had several regular creepers sending me anons and stuff, legit creepers.) But one day I see this amazing cosplay of a really, really cute guy dressed up as the Eleventh Doctor in Ten’s clothes in handcuffs (you know the scene, after Matt Smith regenerates) and I was like, uh, shit, that guy is CUTE, and I hit reblog so fast!! And, uh, then this follower, crush #3 reblogs it from me saying, hey that’s me and you guys, I died. AGAIN. (I die a lot.) It was super embarrassing because I had been writing him off as a weirdo and he... was definitely not. And, if he was, he was the cutest weirdo I had seen in like a long time (I know, call me shallow). After I got over my embarrassment, I followed him back, and it started a couple years of talking back and forth and flirting (I think? Maybe? We’ve established I’m not great at seeing it) and he only lived a few hours away and one night I got drunk with my mom and her boyfriend who was a pilot and he was like, hey, I’ll fly you to where #3 lives, seriously. Because I had been going on and on about this crush for so long and they probably were relieved I was over Michael (was trying to anyway) and yeah, I was like, shit, let’s go! Then I ended up in the hospital and then things got really bad and although #3 and I would message, I never took up the offer to fly and visit him because my health was so bad.  But today, for some reason, I was daydreaming while curling my hair and it’s like... what if I didn’t go to the hospital that night? What if I had met this guy, and maybe things worked out, or maybe they didn’t but at least we would have tried? How different would my life be?

I love my life, I love Michael, I love my girls, SO MUCH. (Not a fan of my health and body but hey, working on it.) But, who knows? It was just a really weird thought, and, in the spirit of Joelle eleven years ago, this is what I would’ve done. Except I would’ve come up with code names *cough Matt Smith cough* and it would’ve been even longer.

But, for all I know, everyone is happy. I follow #2 on IG and he’s married with dogs which is amazing, I am SO happy for him, #3 is also on IG and... he exercises? He doesn’t really share, like, ever. I don’t even know if he’s still on it tbh and I think it’d be weird if I went looking, ha. And... honestly, don’t give a shit about #1, doesn’t deserve to be on this list except for the weird meeting thing with #2. 

So, there’s my ode to my tumblr crushes, some guys I liked when I was trying (and failing) to get over Michael. And, that’s longer than I thought it was going to be, my bad. I don’t think any of them still use tumblr but if you’re #2 or #3 and you see this, hey, hope things are good for you, isn’t life wild?!

[nugnthopkns]

dance me to the end of love (iii)

word count: 4.3k

warnings: fem!oc, cursing, potential percy jackson & the olympians spoilers, alcohol consumption, motion sickness and vomiting

series masterpost: here

a/n: this took me a hot sec to finish but here it is! there's a dumb little latin joke in here but that's just because i'm a nerd lmao

Ryan is certainly giving Bette a run for her money in the best friend department.

Magdalene has no intentions of usurping her best friend, but Ryan is quickly becoming the person she talks to most frequently. It started on social media but quickly moved to regular texting, both of them being twenty-five and capable of communicating through more normal channels. The text thread between them isn’t indicative of their newfound friendship – it looks like they’ve been friends since high school. At any given moment at least three conversations are going on, and Magdalene regularly sends him random updates throughout the day. Ryan likes hearing about any interesting artefacts she encounters at work so she keeps mental notes to tell him during their frequent phone calls.

Despite talking to him almost constantly, Magdalene hasn’t seen Ryan since they grabbed lunch at Barn Owl nearly two weeks ago. The lake house trip is a couple days out, and she’s been busy trying to get all her ducks in a row. At work, the current project is coming to an end and Magdalene will be sad to see it go – it’s the first thing she’s been on from start to finish. She’s got a neighbour coming to spend time with Caligula while she’s away so he doesn’t get too upset. Though the days are passing by in a haze as she tries to get ready, Magdalene is excited to get away for a little bit. It’s been a few years since she’s left Denver for more than a night, electing to skip on Bette’s previous vacation invites, and it will be nice to slow down. Life is moving at a comfortable pace, but having some time to pause and breathe will keep Magdalene from feeling too overwhelmed.

Halfway through her last day of work, Magdalene gets a text from Ryan that makes her nearly double over in laughter.

Julius Caesar walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a Martinus please!” The bartender replies “Don’t you mean a Martini?” Caesar shakes his head and says “If I wanted double I would have said so.”

It takes her a minute to catch her breath, which piques June’s curiosity. Magdalene recites the joke and her boss rolls her eyes and shakes her head, but does let out a chuckle.

June didn’t think it was funny, but I did. Thank you for making today infinitely better. You riding with us tomorrow?

Magdalene tucks her phone back into her purse, determined to remain focused for the last few hours, and misses the reply telling her that Ryan won’t be riding with Bette, Tyson, and herself, but rather with Cale and his girlfriend to leave enough space for all the gear getting brought. She doesn’t see it until she’s walking across the parking lot to her car and it fills her with a sadness that doesn’t make much sense. He’ll be there for the entire week, so does it matter that he’ll be in a different car for the four hour drive? Magdalene has a sinking suspicion about why she’s upset, but she pushes it down. There’s no space in your life for a relationship right now, she reminds herself as she unlocks the door to her apartment. Caligula is waiting patiently at the door and distracts her thoughts from the handsome man with the kind smile that’s been all she can think about recently.

The cat is incredibly perceptive and knows the regular routine is going to change, making him particularly clingy. He follows Magdalene as she finishes packing, meowing and begging for pets, and she considers bailing on her friends. Caligula has mild separation anxiety and Magdalene doesn’t go away often partly because of it – though another reason is her homebody nature. Only the thought of seeing Ryan keeps her from hanging all her clothes back up.

“Don’t worry little boots,” she coos, “I won’t be gone long. Maria is going to check on you while I’m away, and I’ll be home before you know it.”

It seems ridiculous to speak to her pet as though it’s a child, but Magdalene knows Caligula comprehends what she’s saying. He’s always been smart, and the two of them share a bond that’s hard to explain. She picks him up, puts him in the pocket of her hoodie, and they spend the rest of the night packing and dancing along to the radio.

☼☼☼☼

Bette forgot to mention that the road to the lake house is winding, and Magdalene spends the entire ride with her head between her knees. Motion sickness is something that unfortunately plagues her during journeys longer than a couple of hours and she wishes she would have thought to take anti-nausea medication before leaving the house. Tyson tries to crack a joke about her being a bad passenger, but his girlfriend swats his arm and passes her friend a water bottle with a concerned smile. The two of them speak in hushed tones, almost certainly for Magdalene's benefit, and she does her best not to throw up on the floor of Tyson’s car. After what feels like two decades the vehicle rolls to a stop at the end of a gravel path.

“Mags, we’re here,” Bette says softly, praying that her friend will begin to feel better after stretching her legs and feeling firm ground underneath her.

There’s an unintelligible groan from Magdalene, but she rises out of the car and stumbles into the house. Tyson and Bette insist that she rest and they’ll handle the unloading of the car, so she crawls into one of the empty beds and falls asleep as soon as her head touches the pillow. It’s a dreamless slumber, one fuelled by the pure exhaustion of battling illness while travelling, and when she awakes hours later Magdalene feels oddly refreshed. Her energy level is still relatively low, but she knows that intaking food won’t be an issue.

Padding down the stairs as quiet as possible in an effort to not break the peaceful atmosphere, Magdalene is met with a quiet house. She’s utterly confused – she didn’t sleep long enough to miss dinner and judging by the way the sun is low in the final car full of people should be arriving any minute. For a moment she thinks the group left her in the mountains alone, but then the sound of a trunk closing breaks the silence.

“I fucking told you bro, you should have let me drive!”

Ryan’s voice echoes in Magdalene's ears and her heart skips a beat. She didn’t realize how much she had missed him or how excited she is to see him. Despite everything inside of her saying she should run into his arms Magdalene stays put in the kitchen, running the tap to get a glass of water. She focuses on the mountain on the other end of the lake, framing the setting sun and creating a postcard ready photo. The camera app on her phone is open and angles for the best shot are found. Ryan tumbles through the door a second later, arms filled to the brim with luggage and bags of food.

He drops them the second he sees her, running up behind her and lifting her off the ground. “Mags! Cale almost hit a deer!”

The shock of Ryan’s onslaught of affection catches her off guard, and Magdalene shakes her hand, forcing the picture to turn out as nothing but a blur.

“No hello?” She laughs as Ryan lets her feet touch down on the wooden floor. “It’s the least you could give me after destroying my chance of getting a National Geographic worthy picture.”

He smiles but doesn’t let his hands drop from their perch on her waist. “There’s six more days for you to nail it. I’ll even help if you ask.”

Other bodies enter the house then, causing Magdalene to slink away from Ryan’s touch even though it was the last thing she wanted to do. They’re simply friends, and she doesn’t want Bette to get any ideas. The last thing Magdalene needs on her plate right now is her best friend forcing her to paint a custom denim jacket with Ryan’s number across the back. “I can’t believe you almost hit a deer,” Tyson sighs in disbelief.

“It wasn’t even close,” Cale grumbles, picking up his bags and stomping off to find a place to claim as his own the next couple of days. A petite redhead follows after him, giving a small wave to those in the kitchen before scurrying away. When she asks, Ryan tells Magdalene the girl’s name is Livy, and that she’s Cale’s girlfriend from back home.

Everyone shrugs at his moodiness and disperses. Bette and Tyson stay in the kitchen to make dinner, Ryan goes to claim the final room, and Magdalene slips outside to sit on the patio furniture. The sun has dropped drastically in the past five minutes, causing the air to chill. She wraps her arms tighter around her legs and watches a pair of birds fly over the lake below. It’s so peaceful, a complete one-eighty from the insanity of her life in Denver, and Magdalene thinks about never leaving. She knows it’s impossible, but as she closes her eyes and listens to the quiet laughter of her friends inside the idea seems like a pretty good one.

The sliding door creaks open and Ryan goes through as quietly as possible. He tosses a sweater in Magdalene’s direction as he walks over, plopping down beside her on the small couch.

“Thanks,” she mumbles, slipping the fabric over her head. “I didn’t realize how cold it had actually gotten.”

He smiles in response and shuffles his body a little closer to create extra warmth. Magdalene leans into him, trying to appear casual even though her heart is beating rapidly, and pulls on the strings of the sweater Ryan gave her.

“So, are you excited for this week?”

It’s more awkward than she thought it would be – seeing him in person again, especially since they’ve been texting almost constantly, and the words kind of stick in her throat.

“Honestly? Now that I’m here I am, but I was a little leery about taking time off,” Ryan explains, detailing how he’s trying to improve some aspects of his two-way play and is worried his progress will plateau. Magdalene understands and shares her own worries about taking time off work even if her boss encouraged it.

After catching up quickly and running out of things to say, the pair of them sit in silence watching the sun set until they’re called inside for dinner. It’s nice to just exist, especially with Ryan beside her, and Magdalene feels her heart sink as they separate and he goes to make sure Cale isn’t actually mad at him.

☼☼☼☼

It storms the first two days at the lake house, forcing everyone to stay inside. Tyson complains about how he has less time to drive the boat that came with the property but the others take it in stride. Magdalene spends most of the time reading for pleasure, something she hasn’t been able to do much of the past few years, and Ryan joins her for large chunks of the time. It turns out that he too is an avid reader, and the two of them discuss their favourite novels and series while the other four play board games.

“So you’re telling me you wish Annabeth would have joined the Hunters of Artemis?” Magdalene shrieks in shock, almost knocking the wine out of her glass as her arms flail in disbelief.

“I think it made sense for her to,” Ryan defends.

“But she’s perfect for Percy!”

He sticks to his guns. “I’m not saying she isn’t. I just think that at the time the offer was presented it was the most logical choice. You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about what would have happened if she did.”

She ducks her head in defeat because she had imagined it, on many occasions in fact. When reading the series for the first time in middle school Magdalene had desperately hoped Annabeth would choose the Hunters over Camp Half-Blood, gaining the family she herself never was privy to. They return to reading quietly beside each other, occasionally knocking elbows when trying to turn a page.

Tuesday brings sunshine and clear skies, which means Tyson is trying to corral everyone into the boat as soon as they’re up. Magdalene tries her hardest to get out of it but her pleas fall on deaf ears.

“You’ll be fine, stop being such a wimp,” Cale jests. She knows that he’s just anxious to soak up some sun, but the words hurt more than Magdalene would have liked them to.

Livy swats her boyfriend across the chest. “Enough! If she doesn’t want to come she doesn’t have to.” The smaller girl sends her a kind smile before speaking low enough that only Magdalene can hear her. “I know your book is just getting good and you look like the kind of person who needs alone time to function properly. Enjoy yourself.”

Seemingly excused from the day’s festivities, Magdalene gives a sheepish wave before climbing the small hill to the house. Ryan meets her halfway and is appalled when he hears of her plans.

“Nope, I don’t think so. You’re not leaving me alone to be the ultimate third wheel!”

He has her off the ground and over his shoulder in a millisecond, jogging lightly to catch up with the rest of the group. Magdalene’s laugh bounces off the tree lined shore, and she’s too busy having fun shrieking at Ryan to complain about being forced to spend all day on a boat away from her book. Tyson peels away from the dock before she can regret tagging along, and Bette tugs Magdalene to the bow.

The two girls chat quietly, giggling and sipping on the mimosas they made earlier. Magdalene isn’t a huge day drinker, but Bette makes sure there’s more orange juice than champagne to make her feel less guilty. Livy joins them a while later after becoming sick of the boys and their shenanigans. It’s nice to hang out with a group of girls that aren’t competing for the top spot in a class, Magdalene decides, and she revels in the stories they tell of going to hockey games and babysitting the children of players so they can catch a break. Twinges of jealousy creep up at the wonderful family dynamic the Avalanche seem to have, but she stomachs them. She reminds herself that other people deserve to have support systems and excuses herself from the conversation.

Magdalene slides into the free space beside Ryan, and without thinking he wraps an arm around her shoulder. It feels so natural that she wonders if it’s how he greets all his friends, but the looks of shock and Tyson and Cale’s faces say otherwise. After a bit more cruising they find a small bay to anchor in for a while. The sun had climbed to the middle of the sky and is unbearably warm, leaving everyone no choice but to jump into the water to cool off. Magdalene does her best to float peacefully a short distance away from the group but is somehow brought into a splashing war because the teams aren’t equal.

Eventually the constant barrage of water chills her to the bone, and Magdalene swims back to the boat. She watches from the sidelines and cheers for her old teammates with a towel wrapped snugly around her. Ryan breaks from the group too, insisting it isn’t fair to have teams on unequal strength. Once dry, he picks up the baseball cap he brought and places it delicately on Magdalene’s head.

“Your cheeks are starting to go pink and I don’t want you to burn,” he explains, passing her a bottle of sunscreen as well.

“Thanks Ry.”

They muse about the idyllic beauty of the scene in front of them until everyone rejoins them. For reasons unbeknownst to Magdalene Tyson is in a rush to get back to the house, which leads to him driving very fast and a little erratically. The contents of her stomach threaten to come up but she holds them down, tightening her grip on the leather seat. A wave crests and Tyson hits it head on, causing the boat to lurch and rock. Magdalene knows it’s going to happen before it does and leans over the side to save a mess from being created. All the alcohol and food she’d consumed throughout the day is no longer in her body, and heat creeps up the back of her neck. She’s embarrassed – what twenty-five year old gets sea sick?

“Are you okay?” Ryan asked, not bothering to hide the concern in his voice.

She tries to smile but it comes out more like a grimace. “I just, uh, get motion sick really easily.” Bette passes her a water bottle and she drinks it quickly, eager to get the taste out of her mouth.

Ryan lets Magdalene curl into his side the rest of the way home, and rubs comforting circles on her back to ease her discomfort, doing his best to ignore the stares from his friends.

☼☼☼☼

The trip comes to an end much more quickly than Magdalene would have liked. Tomorrow morning they’ll pack up and drive back to Denver, returning to their normal hectic schedules. Cale and Livy are heading back to Alberta for the rest of the summer, and Bette and Tyson will be going for a visit as well. She’s heard Ryan mention going home in passing, which most likely means he doesn’t have plans to stay. Magdalene will be all alone in Colorado, but she’s used to it. The only issue being friends with professional athletes is that they leave. She’s been dealing with the loss since Bette and Tyson got together years ago – having them around as her support system most of the year and then them disappearing for a couple of months.

Not wanting to think about how soon she’ll be alone, Magdalene heads outside and starts a campfire. It’s a skill she picked up as a kid and it has come in handy over the years. The newspaper crinkles under the flame from the lighter, and soon the kindling is burning well. Everyone else is still inside, cleaning up from dinner and preparing for one last night in paradise. She places a few blocks of wood in the fire pit once there’s a good enough flame and curls up in a chair, lost in thought about what comes next. There’s rustling from somewhere behind her but she pays it no mind, assuming it’s a small animal wandering through the forest.

“Can I offer you some company?” a voice says softly, waiting for a response. The movement wasn’t a raccoon but in fact Ryan, and Magdalene gestures at the chair beside her with a smile.

He passes her a glass of white wine, which she takes with an appreciative hum. They sit in silence for a moment, admiring the beauty of the setting sun. “I’m going to miss it,” Ryan sighs, leaning back in his chair and extending his legs.

She nods. “Me too. It’s so quiet up here. Denver gets too loud sometimes.”

“Tell me about it. I’m not just going to miss the lake though, it’s also lounging around and not having to worry about hockey. And you.”

The ending comes out rushed, and Magdalene isn’t sure she heard him correctly. “Me?”

Ryan looks at her like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Yes you. Why wouldn’t I? You’re funny, smart, and catch all of my West Wing references. There’s no one who gets me quite like you, even back home.”

It takes her by surprise. They’ve only known each other for a few months, and only really started associating after the party at Bette and Tyson’s. There has to be somebody who knows him better than she does. When she voices her opinion Ryan just scoffs, saying that people treat him as one-dimensional because he plays hockey. Somehow the conversation shifts to Magdalene, and when she lets it slip she gets lonely in Denver without her friends, Ryan asks the question she’s been dreading.

“So why don’t you get a boyfriend?”

“I can’t just get a boyfriend because my friends are gone,” she laughs, but there’s an edge to it, like she’s unsure of where this will go and how to question the follow ups.

He rolls his eyes. “I know that, but like, I don’t know, wouldn’t it be nice to not be alone all the time?”

It would be, Magdalene thinks, but she just shrugs. “I guess I’m not looking for a relationship right now. I just finished school and for the first time in a long time I can focus on myself.” She leaves out the part where Ryan gives her butterflies and that if he asked she’d probably jump headfirst into a relationship with him.

The topic is dropped then because Tyson comes out of the house screaming about the night is going to be wild because it’s their last together for a while. Magdalene and Ryan share a look of mild panic, but both of them are itching to have fun with friends so they raise their glasses in salute before finishing them in one gulp.

Magdalene drinks more than she should and wakes in the morning with a killer hangover. It seems that no one else is better off though, all stumbling around looking for Advil and coffee like it’s going to be their last meal. Packing up takes a bit longer than expected, but they’re still out before the official checkout time. There’s a bit of discourse on who Magdalene will travel home with. Bette wants her in Tyson’s car, no doubt to talk about how close her and Ryan seem to be, but Cale offers to bring her with them. His reasoning is that Ryan is driving him and Livy directly to the airport, and having the front seat could be good for her motion sickness. It’s ultimately Magdalene’s choice and the idea of having more time with Ryan before he leaves is too enticing to pass up. She bids her other friends goodbye, promising to come over for dinner before they fly out, and climbs into the cab of Cale’s truck.

Once again she’s a less than ideal passenger, but this time it’s because she sleeps the entire way back to Denver. The drinking took it out of her and coupled with the queasiness in her stomach from the winding roads sleep is the only thing that makes sense. So much for extra time with Ryan she thinks as she wakes up in the airport parking lot.

“Sleeping beauty has risen!” Ryan chuckles, “Why don’t you get out and stretch your legs for a sec? We have the parking spot for another fifteen minutes.”

Magdalene does as suggested because truthfully her joints are a little stiff, and finds Cale and Livy grabbing their bags from the back. She hugs them goodbye and wishes them safe travels, which Cale returns with a warning not to get into too much trouble before heading for the entrance. Once both of them are safely inside the confines of the airport, Ryan and Magdalene get back in the vehicle and finish the last leg of the trip.

She directs Ryan to her apartment complex, and he mentions that he’s never been in this area of the city. “That’s because you have no need to be around a bunch of university kids,” she laughs. Once they pull into the parking lot, he offers to help her take up her bag. It’s only a small suitcase Magdalene could definitely handle herself, but she wants him to come up, to prolong her time with him.

Magdalene’s keys jingle in the lock as the door opens. Ryan follows her in and shuts the door carefully, not wanting to disrupt the aura of peace that permeates the space. From what he can tell, the average size apartment is the perfect reflection of Magdalene – packed full of books and plants and feels very put together despite the owner being only twenty-five. After their shoes find a home on the boot rack and the coats they brought for the drive home are hung in the closet she leads Ryan into the living room. There’s a soft purring by his feet, and Ryan looks down to see an animal. He never pegged Magdalene as someone to keep pets.

“Who’s this?” he asks, bending down to pet the small white cat.

“That’s Caligula.”

A puzzled look graces Ryan’s features. “Who?”

“Caligula,” Madalene giggles. “You can call him little boots if you’d like. He’ll respond.” She picks up the animal when it comes to her and scratches gently behind its ear.

“Why would you name your cat something dumb like Caligula, and why does it respond to little boots?”

It’s then the woman realizes that not everyone understands the reference. “Caligula was the third emperor of Rome,” she explains, “But his real name was Gaius. He gained the nickname Caligula as a child and it just stuck. It translates to little boots in Latin.”

Ryan is in awe of Magdalene for what feels like the millionth time. Of course someone as smart as her would have a crazy name for a pet and have the knowledge to back it up. He feels his chest tighten with affection but he wills it away. She isn’t looking for anything right now, he reminds himself. Magdalene’s self-professed inability to reciprocate his feelings is frustrating, but Ryan knows he’d wait forever for her.

☼☼☼☼

additional notes: catch some extra content here!

taglist: @scrunchmakar @marcoscandellas @toplinetommy @ricohenrique @lovethepreds @cutiesara23 @hockeyallthetime @stlbluesbrat21 (add yourself to the taglist!)

[everlarkficexchange]

On the Hunt

Author: @hutchhitched

Prompt 39: Katniss has been bumping into the same stranger (Peeta) for months. When they get stuck in an unfortunate situation together, she decides to be the first to say hello. [submitted by @eiramrelyat / @taylerwrites]

Ratings/Warnings: T

The first time Katniss sees him, he takes her breath away. It’s from afar. He probably doesn’t even catch a glimpse of her, but her whole world tilts off its axis.

She’s not sure why he stands out to her. There’s nothing particularly unique about him. He’s not short or tall or big or small. He’s not drop-dead gorgeous or ugly like a troll. He doesn’t move like an athlete or sparkle with the magic of a performer. He appears normal in every sense of the word, but that doesn’t mean she can’t see how special he really is. At least she thinks he might be—if she had a chance to actually speak to him.

That doesn’t happen, though. She’s too far away when she sees him picking up a loaf of bread, and she can’t seem to move once he’s left her line of sight. She stays frozen in the freezer section (the irony!) for several minutes. Hopefully, everyone else thinks she’s considering her options in breakfast burritos, but she’s actually involved in an out of body experience that follows the young man from the back of the store to the registers, out the door, and into the parking lot where he must load his groceries into his car and drive away. His life is no different, but hers will never be the same.

It has to be because she’s lonely. It’s been a very long time since she’s been in a relationship. In fact, it’s been so long since she’s kissed a man, she kind of wonders if she’s forgotten how to do it. Katniss has never been that popular, but she’s enjoyed her fair share of attention. She tries really hard not to spiral out in the freezer section, but Christ on a cracker! Something about that specimen of manhood has made her question her life’s choices. Why hasn’t she run into him before now? Clearly, she’s been living wrong.

Except, she hasn’t. She’s done absolutely everything she knows to do to be a good person. She supports her little sister and sends money to her mother who needs every speck of help she can get. She has a best friend who’s been by her side since they both lost their fathers when they were barely teenagers. She helps out at a shelter and donates money to the food bank because she knows way too well how hunger can impact a person’s life. In other words, there’s no reason her weekly grocery trip should result in an upheaval to her world. It’s simply not fair, and she plans to file a complaint to who it is that runs fate and destiny. She has a bone to pick.

Somehow, she finds everything on her list and heads to the front of the store. When she gets there, she unloads her groceries and watches as the cashier scans each item. Digging into her wallet, she’s stunned to find she only has a twenty and the total keeps rising. Mortified, she watches as the number climbs to $34.15.

“I don’t have… I mean, can you take off the…”

Trying to figure out what she can live without until her next paycheck, she surveys the food and toiletries. Almost in tears, she stammers for a few seconds before the cashier speaks.

“Don’t worry. Another patron paid it forward. He left a twenty and asked that I use it if anyone needed help. Looks like you could use some.”

“I— I couldn’t. It’s not right.”

“The guy seemed pretty adamant that I only offer it to someone who could use a break. It seems like that could be you today.”

Katniss nodded slowly. “Do you have any idea who it is? I’d like to thank them.”

The cashier shook her head. “Young guy. Stocky, medium height, ashy blonde hair, blue eyes. Very polite. Named Peter, I think. Something like that.”

It’s got to be him. The description’s too similar to be a coincidence. It seems the guy that froze her in place with his looks is as kind and compassionate as he is special. Now, he’s even more intimidating.

She nods her thanks and takes the change and her purchases. The five in her pocket gives her a little joy, but the feeling of not having money still bothers her. Maybe it’s time to get a credit card. She’s been warned off them for so long that she never applied for one, but now, it might be something she should do. Maybe. It makes her nervous to think she could get in financial trouble with it. She’s been poor her entire life. It might be too tempting to resist.

When she makes it back to her apartment, her attempt to unpack her groceries is interrupted frequently by long pauses in which she fantasizes about finding the guy who’s rocked her world and given her daydreams about all the ways she needs to thank him (appropriately and not so much) for the rest of her life. It’s not unrealistic at all. Totally doable, she decides. After all, how hard can it be to find him again? They live in the same town.

****

The answer to that question is that it’s very hard. Difficult isn’t even the word to describe the problem she has in trying to find the Boy With the Bread, which is what she calls him even though he’s definitely an adult. The person she saw from afar was all man if the stretch of his shirt across broad shoulders was any indication. Still, the alliteration makes her smile, so she continues to refer to him as such.

It shouldn’t take so long, but it does. Months pass, and she wonders if she’s made it all up and imagined the creature that changed her life. She keeps her eyes open in public, scans the local news and social media sites, and seriously considers setting up an online dating site just to see if he’s looking for someone. She’s getting desperate, but then fate smiles on her again.

She’s sitting in a coffee shop, something she hardly ever does, when he walks in the door. She doesn’t normally have time for such a mundane, normal activity that other people her age seem to enjoy all the time. She’s usually working during the day, and she has no desire to consume copious amounts of caffeine after 5 pm when she gets off work. Today, though, she has time. She’s taken a half day to run errands and go to the dentist, and she needs the jolt the espresso will give her to survive her reduced shift.

He ducks through the doorway just as she’s taken a sip of her hot beverage, and she almost chokes on the liquid. He shakes the umbrella he’s holding just outside the door and shoves a riot of blonde curls off his forehead that have shrunken up and frizzed from the rain. It’s adorable.

He’s wearing an emerald Henley and faded jeans that hug all the right places. The sight of him freezes her in place, but that doesn’t stop her from tracking him as moves past her. She’s close enough to see his eyes are blue before he marches across the café and approaches a man sitting alone in the corner. They clasp hands and grin at each other, and the vision in green heads to the counter to order.

She’s dumbfounded. Here he is again after so long, and she can’t think of a single thing to say to him or how in the world to actually approach him without making her look absolutely insane. She racks her brain trying to think of an intelligent topic, but she’s jolted from that when the barista walks to the end of the bar and calls a name.

“Peeta! Chai Latte.”

That’s his name, she realizes, and it’s like the sun’s broken through thick, heavy clouds. It’s just unusual enough to fit him and still feel familiar. He smiles at the woman behind the bar and takes the cup from her. He ordered chai, and she files that information away for future reference. He might not like coffee, which seems important.

She’s pondering a trip to the bathroom just so she has an excuse to pass by him when she suddenly understands that he’s leaving. He and his friend are talking as they walk to the door, and she catches the sound of his voice.

“—we can change that, the numbers will—”

His words are swallowed by the rush of traffic outside, but that silky tone she hardly had a chance to listen to has already taken up residence in the part of her brain that creates unrealistic fantasies. She daydreams for longer than she should. In fact, it’s only the vibration of her phone against the table that reminds her she has to get to her job. What a chance encounter, but now she has a name to go with that face.

****

She’s tried to find him again. She’s googled and returned to the coffee shop when she’s had a spare minute or two. She’s asked around and continues to check dating sites. Nothing. She’s found absolutely nothing. Without a last name, she has very little idea how to find out anything else. Frustrated, she goes about her daily life with a weight on her shoulders that shouldn’t be there. He’s a stranger she’s glimpsed only a couple of times.

Frustrated and full of pent-up energy, she joins a gym. There’s nothing quite like working up a good sweat to ease tension and kickstart her brain, so she spends her free time running the track, lifting, and participating in every hot yoga class the establishment offers. After a month, she’s leaner and stronger than ever, but she hasn’t managed to come up with any ideas that might help her find the guy she desperately wants to thank for saving her when she wasn’t sure how she’d eat for a week.

She’s two laps into her normal ten when she glances down from the elevated track and spots a pickup game of three on three basketball on the far court. Three blonde men face off against three with dark hair, one of whom looks remarkably like her best friend Gale Hawthorne, who she hasn’t seen since he left town for a job almost a year ago. As she jogs closer to the court, she realizes it is him teamed up with his brothers. The blonde men look like siblings, too, but she doesn’t spare them much of a glance. She’s got more laps to go, and she doesn’t want to draw any attention to herself. Gale didn’t bother to tell her that he’s in town, and she’s a little miffed by that.

It’s another three passes by the court before it hits her that the blonde men look familiar. She puts on a burst of speed to get back to where she can see the men closeup and almost trips over her own feet when she spies him. It’s the guy. THE guy. The cashier had said Peter, and the barista had called him Peeta. She stops in her tracks and grabs the railing when someone bumps into her from behind.

“Watch it!” he yells as the jogger passes her. “You’re not supposed to stop on the track!”

She dismisses him with a wave and sprints to the nearest stairwell. If she can just catch them… She bounds down the stairs, three at a time, and bursts into a bustling walkway. She dodges and shoves her way free and streaks around the corner to find—

“Catnip! What are you doing here?”

“Gale!” Sweat drips down her forehead and stings her eyes. Cringing, she swipes her hand across her face and tries not to cry. “Where are—? I thought you were playing basketball.”

He throws her a bewildered look and nods like she’s lost it a little. “We were.”

“You’re done?”

“Yeah? We’d been at it for a while. Are you… Have you been watching me?”

Katniss rolls her eyes, although that’s not really very fair. She had noticed him. It’s not like that’s not the case. “Who were you playing with? I saw Vic and Rory, but the blonde guys… Who, er, who were they?”

The expression on his face would be priceless if she weren’t so desperate to find out the information. He looks like he’s swallowed something very, very distasteful, and she tries hard not to snort with laughter.

“Why?”

She takes in his narrowed eyes and realizes she’s going to have to lie to get what she wants. Part of the reason they haven’t been as close since he left town is due to his sudden confessions of feelings toward her. She’d let him down easy, but things have been strained since then. There’s no need to rub that in his face when all she wants is to find out about Peeta. With a straight face and innocent eyes, she explains, “I think one of them door dinged my car a couple of weeks ago. The gym won’t give out membership information, but if you know who they are… Well, I’d be really grateful, Gale.”

He falls for it when she bats her eyelashes at him. She should feel terrible, but all’s fair in love and basketball. Of all people, Gale should want her to be happy, no matter if that means she’s interested in someone else or not. She’s no damsel in distress, unless she can’t pay for her groceries or something. However, her simpering works, and that’s really what she needs.

“Mellark is the last name. They all have bread names. It’s weird.”

She rolls the name around in her head for a bit. Peeta Mellark. It’s a nice solid name, and now she has more information to help her figure out how to find him. Almost giddy with victory, she stretches up on her tiptoes and kisses Gale’s cheek in gratitude. Backing away before he can reciprocate, she hears him as the distance widens between them.

“Do you want to grab dinner sometime? Maybe?”

“Sorry, Gale! Got to go. Really good to see you!”

With that, she turns her back and slips down the hall to the women’s locker room. She doesn’t bother to shower before grabbing her bag and heading to her car. She’s barely closed the door before she’s on her phone and typing in the name Peeta Mellark. She has a thank you to deliver.

****

Surprisingly, it’s not much easier to find him now that she knows his full name. She unveils a lot of information about his family, but not him. Apparently, they own a few local bakeries that she tries out and loves. Still, Peeta’s family is not the same thing as Peeta, who is remarkably absent from social media and with no online presence. She’s willing to admit, she got cocky, and now she can’t figure out how to recover from it.

“Where the hell is he?” she mutters as she comes up empty. Again.

Frustrated, she runs over all the data she’s gathered about him. He’s kind, compassionate, and thoughtful; all of those qualities were on display at the grocery store. He drinks tea and has a very good-looking friend who he talks to about numbers; that she learned at the coffee shop. He’s athletic and has two brothers he likes well enough to exercise with them; that information, and his last name, came from the gym. It should be enough to go on. It’s not.

She’s at home on her couch and paying bills when it suddenly hits her that she may never see this guy again. Peeta Mellark seems to be a figment of her imagination for all the good it’s done to try to find him. That and the small number in her bank account are both so unpleasant that she decides she’s going to have to break down and do something she’s been avoiding and delaying for a very long time. She’s going to have to open a line of credit. She’ll only use it for emergencies, but she can’t rely on the kindness of strangers to bail her out the next time she doesn’t have money for groceries, let alone car maintenance or an unforeseen medical crisis. It’s been months since Peeta saved her, but the humiliation of not being able to take care of herself still hasn’t faded. Before she can change her mind, she grabs her purse and heads to the bank. The time is now.

“Can I help you?” A bubbly blonde teller named Delly asks, and Katniss takes a deep breath to fortify herself.

“I’d like to open a line of credit. Can I talk to someone about that?”

“Sure!” she practically squeals. “Let me just call someone to help you.”

She’s led down the hallway and past a few desks to a small office. Once ushered inside, she sits and raises her eyes to view the person across from her.

“Oh…”

The man before her is stunning—green eyes, bronze hair, a swimmer’s build. It’s the guy’s—Peeta’s—friend, the one he was with at the coffee shop.

“Ms. Everdeen. I’m Finnick Odair. Want some sugar?” he asks and nudges a candy bowl toward her.

“No, I’m fi—.”

“Hey, Finn. Can you— Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you were with a customer.”

She jerks at the sound of his voice. Peeta Mellark is standing in the doorway, and her heart is in her throat. She has a sudden flashback of the coffee shop, when the two of them walked past her discussing numbers… Now, it all makes sense. They work at a bank together. Of course they do. Peeta turns to leave, and she calls out.

“Wait! Stay with me.”

She claps her hands over her mouth and wills herself not to blush, but it’s no use. She’s just asked a perfect stranger to stay with her, and her invitation sounds much more intimate than she means it to. He must think she’s insane. Maybe she actually is. She pushes down a sudden urge to flee the situation and escape to the safety of her apartment.

This is out of her wheelhouse. Shy, introverted, and intensely private, Katniss worries the end of her braid and bites her lip. Every instinct she has tells her to run, but the temptation of him before her is too great. Rising, she crosses to him and holds out her hand.

“Hi. My name is Katniss. You saved my life once, and I’ve been on the hunt to find you for months. Thank you.”

Peeta and his friend exchange looks, and she fights the urge to shrivel back into herself. Finally, he looks directly at her and takes her palm in his. With a smile so disarming she nearly faints, he answers.

“Peeta Mellark. It’s nice to meet you.”

The touch of his hand on hers melts her insides. She dreads when she finally has to let go, but maybe she won’t have to. With a shy smile, she cocks out her hip and looks up at him through long lashes. Her flirting may be a disaster, but it’s all she’s got.

“It’s so nice to meet you, too.”

The flicker in his eyes makes her knees weak. An hour later, she’s left the bank with a line of credit, a phone number, and a dinner date. The hunt is finally over.

[suituuup]

pieces - chapter one

Five years ago, Chloe dropped off the face of the Earth. Beca sees her again in the most unexpected place.

rating: M (drug abuse, mention of sexual abuse in later chapters) word count: 2,100

ao3 link

*

“Any messages, Gina?”

Beca Mitchell strode out of the elevator, high heels clicking on marble flooring on her way to her office.

Her assistant rushed to walk alongside her, notebook opened as she handed Beca her second coffee of the day, which Beca took with an appreciative smile.

“Mr. Mendes needs to push back his meeting to Thursday, and Mr. Hozier-Byrne is waiting for a call back, preferably before 2 as he’s five hours ahead.”

Beca rounded the corner to her office and dragged her leather desk chair back, shrugging off her woolen trench coat and draping it over the back. “Got it, remind me what I have planned today?”

“You’re having lunch with Mr. Zimmer at the Plaza to discuss Jesse’s project, and apart from the weekly team meeting at five, you’re expected at Edgy Reggie’s party from 10 pm at the Sapphire.”

A groan surfaced from Beca’s throat and her eyes slammed shut as she plopped down on her chair. “I forgot about that. Luke can’t go?”

Gina winced and shook her head. “Family dinner.”

“Family dinner, my ass. His whole family lives back in fucking England,” Beca muttered before she could help it, throwing her assistant an apologetic smile. “Sorry. Thanks, Gina. Hold my calls until ten, please?”

“Of course, Ms. Mitchell.”

As she did every morning while sipping her coffee, Beca listened to demos over the next hour, forwarding them to Luke if any of those yet-unknown artists spiked her interest enough to sign them into their label.

The rest of the day consisted of two meetings, a dozen calls, countless email exchanges, and not enough studio time. A thick blanket of darkness had veiled the city by the time she closed her laptop and called it a day. She stretched her neck and took a moment to gaze at the lit skyscrapers through her floor to ceiling windows, sighing softly.

It was sometimes weird to think about how this was her life. How the asocial, grumpy freshman from thirteen years ago had made it to the top of the music business and now co-owned one of the biggest labels throughout the country.

Scratch that, throughout the  world.  

Snapping out of her daze, Beca stood and slipped on her coat, plucking her phone off the desk to call herself a Lyft home. She had just about time to take a shower and eat dinner before heading to that stupid party.

*

Beca could think of a million things she’d rather be doing right now as she strode down the wet sidewalk towards the lit  GIRLS  red neon sign in the distance a couple of hours later.

She told herself one drink, an hour tops, then she could head home, put on her pajamas, and finish that true-crime TV show she started yesterday.

“Name?” A dude bulkier than the freaking Rock asked her as she made it to the club door.

“Um, Beca Mitchell. I’m Edgy Reggie’s producer.”

Her artist had privatized a strip-club for his celebration party over his album hitting Platinum, and Beca couldn’t  not  show up, as... well, he was an important client and brought her label the big bucks.

The guy checked his clipboard and nodded, hitching his thumb over his shoulder. “You’re good to go.”

Casting the bouncer a nod, Beca ducked inside the dimmed, crowded club, wincing at the crappy music heavily pumping through the speakers. Three girls in bikinis and heels stood on platforms, twisting their bodies around dancing poles as dozens of dudes reclined back in leather sofas, shamelessly ogling their forms.

Beca’s nose crinkled as she scanned the room for her artist.

“Yo, Beca!”

Her gaze snapped to the left corner, catching sight of Edgy Reggie (he didn’t want to change his stage name, no matter how much Beca insisted) waving her over.

“Hey,” she cast him a tight-lipped smile, tucking her straight hair behind her ears. She nodded at the other dudes sitting around the low table. “What’s up.”

“Guys, this is the girl behind the magic of my album,” Edgy Reggie explained, throwing an arm over her shoulders before Beca could squirm away. “She is  fire. ”

Beca chuckled awkwardly, then pointed over her shoulder. “I’m gonna go get myself a drink.”

Maybe two come to think of it, so she could get herself through this.

She headed to the bar and ordered an old-fashioned, fishing in the inside of her coat pocket for her credit card.

“Thanks,” she muttered when the barmaid (also clad in a bikini that left very little to the imagination) came back with her drink, handing her her card just as the club’s speaker made an announcement.

“Ladies and Gentleman, please welcome to the stage…  Ariel! ”

The crowd cheered and hooted, Beca glancing over her shoulder to see what all the fuss was about.

There was no amount of alcohol that could have prepared her for the scene unfolding before her.

There, on the main stage, strutted in a redhead, only wearing a silver g-string and high heels. Beca would have recognized that shade of hair anywhere, and while the lighting in the club was low, there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that this girl -- Ariel -- was her former best friend.

Her former best friend who had dropped from the face of the Earth almost five years ago, without so much as an explanation. She hadn’t just stopped talking to Beca, but to all of them, even Aubrey. She was nowhere to be found on social media and when Beca had tried calling her after six months without news, she found out Chloe’s phone number had been disconnected. It wasn’t like they talked on a daily basis before that. After three years spent living on opposite sides of the country, the texts started coming further in between, their communication coming down to a few check-ins a year and on birthdays, until they eventually stopped.

Fearing the worst, Aubrey had called Chloe’s parents, who assured her she was fine, working as a vet in NYC and in a committed relationship. While relieved, the news stung Beca, as it was clear Chloe had deliberately ceased contact.

It took some time, but Beca eventually stopped thinking about her so much, especially when she started getting successful as a music producer and pouring her time and energy into her projects. She soon won her first Grammys, Gold, and Platinum records featured in notorious magazines and talk shows. She could stop working tomorrow and money wouldn’t become an issue, but Beca didn’t like to boast about her fortune, or fame, for that matter.

Despite being insanely busy, she still kept in touch with the other Bellas in their group chat, but she hadn’t seen any of them in a couple of years, missing the last reunion because of her job.

Beca’s mind steered back to the present, where the once most important person in her life was currently dancing for money. Men were staring hungrily at her as she sensually moved around the pole or bent over with her ass in the air to collect dollar bills from the floor, and Beca suddenly felt sick.

This couldn’t be her dream job, right? Something  had  to have happened for her to settle for this.

Beca grabbed her drink and knocked it back, flagging the barmaid down for another as her mind reeled as to what to do.

She needed to talk to Chloe. In private. Tonight, as soon as she finished… parading in front of these disgusting fuckboys. Only… she wasn’t sure Chloe wanted to talk to her.

“Hey,” she said when the barmaid came back as an idea struck. “How do I get a private lap dance with one of the girls?”

The girl raised a surprised eyebrow. “Backroom, hun. Who do you want?”

“Ariel.”

The platinum blonde let out a curt laugh. “Ariel doesn’t do lap dances, babe.”

Beca’s eyebrows knitted together in a heavy frown. “Why not?”

“Because she’s the boss’ favorite.”

Beca didn’t know what that meant exactly, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to find out as another wave of nausea swept over her insides. “Is your boss here tonight?”

The barmaid scanned the room quickly, nodding. “He’s the guy over there in the suit.”

“Thanks.” She took her drink and headed over to where the fifty-something dude was talking to another guy. Stepping up to them, she ignored their glares over her interrupting their conversation. “Hey. Are you the manager?”

The dude who looked like he ran a mafia mob turned a bit more towards her. “What’s this about?”

“How much for a private dance with Ariel?”

His gaze flickered over Beca’s shoulder towards the stage, then sized Beca up, unimpressed. “She’s not available, kid.”

Beca gritted her teeth at the condescending tone of his voice. “Not even for ten grand for twenty minutes?”

He slow-blinked, then burst out laughing. “Yeah, right.”

“I’m being serious. Ten grand, twenty minutes. Alone in a room, just the two of us.”

The man’s expression hardened. “And I said she’s not  available .”

“Twenty grand.” Hell, she’d throw half a million on the table if that’s what was needed to talk to Chloe. After a beat, she added, “And no touching. That’s not what I’m here for.”

The manager seemed to consider her offer for a handful of seconds. “You got the money?”

Dammit.  She couldn’t withdraw that much right now, she needed to call her bank. “Tomorrow night.”

He smirked, snickering. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

He turned back to his buddy, leaving Beca grumbling under her breath as she turned around and stalked out of the club. She couldn’t stay. She couldn’t stand the sight of Chloe objectifying her body for money.

As soon as she got home, Beca fired up her computer and typed in Chloe’s name in her browser. Apart from old stuff on the Bellas, she found nothing relevant. Chloe appeared to still be MIA from any social media.

Beca grabbed her phone and scrolled through her contacts, bringing the device to her ear.

“What’s wrong?”  

“How do you know something’s wrong?”

“We call each other twice a year on our respective birthdays and stick to the Bellas chat for the rest.”  

Beca nibbled on her bottom lip. “I found Chloe.”

A long stretch of silence on the other end of the line followed.  “What?”  

“I saw her tonight, Aubrey.”

“Where??”

“At a strip club. She’s… a stripper.”

“What? Did you talk to her?”  

“No. She was performing on stage. But I will. I’m… buying a lap dance from her tomorrow. I figured… she’ll have to listen to me since she’s being paid for it.” Her eyes slammed shut, scrunching up her nose. “I don’t know. It might be a bad idea, but-- I just wanna make sure she’s okay, you know?”

“Yes, of course. Keep me posted?”  

“I will. Talk to you soon.”

Beca shuffled to bed after that, but sleep never came. Her mind kept reeling about Chloe, about what she might say to her once they were face to face, and the possibility that Chloe might shoot her down and refuse to talk to her.

She spent her Saturday trying and failing to make some progress on an ongoing project, willing time to tick faster so she could head back to the club. Mid-afternoon, she headed to the bank to withdraw twenty grand, tucking the envelope in her purse.

“Why does it feel like you’re doing something illegal, Beca?” She muttered to herself on her way out of the bank, slightly paranoid about carrying so much cash on her.

The club was just as crowded when she got there around 10 pm. A different girl danced on the main stage and the manager was nowhere in sight, so Beca perched herself on a stool at the bar, ordering herself another old-fashioned.

“Is your boss around?” She asked the barmaid, a different girl from last night.

“Who’s asking?”

“Tell him the person who wants Ariel is here.”

The girl’s eyebrows shot up at that but she didn’t say anything, nodding before strutting away. Beca sipped at her drink for the next twenty minutes, keeping her back to the stage.

The manager eventually appeared in her peripheral, and he leaned an elbow over the counter, lacing his fingers. “So what’s so special about Ariel?”

Beca slowly set her drink down and fished for the envelope, pushing it towards him while keeping her gaze straight ahead. “I like redheads.”

He plucked the envelope off the counter and peered inside. Twenty stacks of ten hundred dollar bills in exchange for twenty minutes with Chloe.

He nodded. “Follow me.”

Beca finished the rest of her drink, the alcohol managing to muffle her nerves some as she followed the manager towards the back of the club, and down a set of stairs. Her heart pumped hard in her ears and her palms started to sweat as she was led inside a dimly lit room with a handful of sofa chairs and a small stage with a dancing pole, some kind of music that seemed straight out of a porno carrying through the speakers. A spiral staircase was tucked in the right corner, and she guessed that is where the strippers made their entrance from.

Beca wondered how far things usually went in these kinds of private rooms.

She wondered how far  Chloe  went.

She cast the guy a tight-lipped smile and a nod before he closed the door, and paced the room for a little while, eventually lowering herself on one of the leather chairs and wiping her palms on her designer slacks.

The clicking of heels over metal made Beca’s spine snap straighter. She resisted the urge to look over her shoulder as the steps grew nearer, digging her nails into her thighs as a new round of nerves gripped her insides.

“Good evening, sweetheart,” the huskiness of Chloe’s voice made Beca swallow, and she felt a hand run over her shoulders as Chloe approached from behind.

Glancing up, Beca met familiar, ocean blues.

[footballfanfictions]

The thrill of the chase - Chapter Four

Pairings: Mason Mount/OC, Ben Chilwell/OC

Warnings: Smut (18+)

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Katie

 “The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.” Bri advised, her mouth stuffed full of salad. 

I was beginning to regret confessing to her about my mixed feelings for Rory and his new engagement. Bri was a great friend but at times she took over a conversation and made it relatable to something she had experienced which was exactly what she had done. She had gone on and on about her break up with Liam for so long that I considered telling Billy not to bother asking her out because I was so unclear as to whether she was ready to move on or not.

“Have you been getting under anyone recently?” I enquired, hoping with everything in me that she would say no. I really wanted her and Billy to work out and make each other happy.

“Sadly no. My prince charming is out there somewhere.” she sighed.

“Closer than you might think.” I grinned.

“What?” she laughed, confused.

I shook my head and said nothing else before making an excuse to leave lunch. 

I had arranged with Billy to go and help him with the set up of his plan by cutting my lunch short. By the time we had finished, Bri would be coming back to the kit room and I could distract her along the way. 

By the time I got to the unused office that Billy had chosen, he had already finished. The room was full of bouquets of red roses. I had to pinch my nose between my fingers to prevent me from sneezing. 

“That’s a shit ton of flowers Billy.” I laughed, patting him on the back “good job.”

“You think she will like this kind of stuff?” he asked, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. 

I put my hand on his shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. “She is a true romantic at heart, she’ll appreciate the effort.”

“I thought I saw you come in here-”

I turned to see Ben, standing in the doorway with his arms folded across his chest but a big grin on his face. 

“We’re setting up Billy asking Bri out.” I explained. 

“Mate you are making the rest of us look bad. I was going to ask Katie to come out with us lot later, now I feel like just asking that isn’t enough.” Ben looked between the two of us as he spoke.

It took me a couple of minutes to register what he was saying. He was going to ask me out. He had said ‘with us’ though which implied that it wasn’t going to be just the two of us, but maybe that was a good thing seeing as I felt awkward enough around Ben at the moment. 

Billy started laughing beside me then said to Ben “I think the silence is your answer pal.”

Ben looked down at his shoes then back up at me.

“Hold your horses Billy. Ben hasn’t actually asked me anything-” I started to ask Ben what he meant but was cut off by the sound of Bri in the corridor just outside the door calling my name.

“Shit a brick it’s time.” I gave Billy one last reassuring squeeze on the arm before grabbing Ben and dragging him through the door by the hand.

“Hi Bri.” I greeted her.

She was startled and looked between me and Ben, our hands intertwined and the door to the office which she knew as well as I did that no one used anymore. She then smirked.

“Oh I see. You did have a lot of work to catch up on.” 

I tried not to blush, conscious that my hand was still holding onto Ben’s but I didn’t really care what she thought we had been doing in there. All I cared about was that Billy got a fair chance. 

So without setting her straight, I said “There’s something you need to see in there.”

Bri’s curiosity got the better of her after a minute of her giving me a very confused look. Once she had entered the office I quietly shut the door behind her and turned to Ben.

“What were you trying to ask me?”

He squeezed my hand with his as a slight blush crept onto his cheeks. “I don’t know if you want to but a lot of the lads are going out tonight and I just wondered if you wanted to join us. Most of them are bringing their girlfriends so you wouldn’t be the only girl there or anything. I thought it might be nice to spend time with each other with no pressure.”

“Yeah that sounds good.” I agreed. 

With his free hand he pulled his phone out of his pocket and passed it to me, asking “Can I have your number so that we can arrange for me to pick you up?” 

I nearly dropped the phone trying to unlock it with just one hand. It felt weird that a boy would hand a girl his phone and not at least have a passcode on it, but maybe he just had nothing to hide. I entered my number to his contacts, saving myself as just my first name. He grinned again as I passed the phone back to him. 

“What are you smiling at?”

“You didn’t drop my hand to put your number in.” he said, squeezing the hand he held again gently before continuing “but I’ve got to get back to training in a minute.”

“You’re not waiting for Billy?”

He shook his head, explaining “I’m his alibi for being late, I’m going to have to tell the gaffer something, not sure what yet.”

“You’re a good friend Ben” I smiled, finally letting go of his hand.

“You are too Katie. Billy thinks a lot of you and you’ve really helped him.”

“He has helped me a lot too, more than he will ever realise.” I said softly, thinking about Billy deleting all of Rory’s social media profiles from my accounts. 

“See you later.”

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------

I had been sat at my desk for 45 minutes, unable to concentrate on anything because I was desperate for Bri to come and talk to me. The radio silence was starting to concern me until my phone lit up where it sat upon my desk next to my computer monitor, only the text wasn’t from Bri.

Ben: Is 8 ok to pick you up? If you want to we could get some dinner together before we meet the others? Xx

 I stared at the message for a minute, contemplating a reply. In 45 minutes he had had a change of heart and now wanted to spend some time alone together. Did I want that? 

I sat there with my phone in hand for another few minutes mulling it over in my head before I decided that I should see Ben alone, to test whether we really had a spark or not and to be honest with him about what I knew. 

 Katie: 8 is fine and dinner would be lovely xx

 I followed the message up with another, just giving Ben my address and began to fidget nervously in my seat. I hadn’t been on a date with anyone since my break up and had avoided anyone that had been even remotely interested. What do you even say to someone on the first date? 

I was still wondering how I would talk to Ben alone at dinner when my office door swung open.

“Bloody hell you scared the shit out of me.” I explained. 

My shock was worth it though, to see a beaming Bri in my doorway with one of the huge bouquets cradled in her arms. 

“I just got asked out by a footballer!” she grinned. 

“Yeah I know. Billy is amaz-”

“Liam would absolutely die if he knew this.” she squealed. 

Before I could say anything else she had turned on her heels and left as quickly as she came. 

My mind raced. She hadn’t even called Billy by his name. My gut instinct that she would use him was getting stronger and I felt sick. Billy was a really good guy and deserved better than that. 

I put my head in my hands and massaged my temples. This situation just added to my anxiety and made me feel torn. I should really be loyal to Bri as my best friend but also call her out on her behaviour and pray that underneath it all she did actually have some feelings for Billy. 

 -------------------------------------------------------------------

Ben had picked me up at bang on 8pm. I had hoped he would be a couple of minutes late so that I could have a few minutes to try to settle my anxiety but no such luck. 

He took my hand and led me out to his car, complimenting me on how I looked and holding the car door open for me. 

We barely spoke during the short drive to the restaurant but surprisingly it was a comfortable silence. 

When we were seated at the table, he reached across and took my hand, holding it on top of the table for anyone around us to see. 

“Are you ok?” He asked.

“I’m so sorry Ben, I know I must seem like I’m not even in the room right now. I just have a lot on my mind.” I babbled, taking a big sip of water to calm myself down before I went ahead and blurted out everything that was bothering me and ruining the only date I’d had in over a year. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked soothingly, his thumb brushing over my fingers. 

I nodded before starting to explain. “I don’t even know where to begin Ben. When Bri walked into my office earlier she looked like she was on top of the world and I thought it was because she liked Billy back but she didn’t even call him by his name, just said that a footballer had asked her out and how her ex would absolutely die if he found out. I’m just so worried that she will use him. Me and Billy have become really good friends and I don’t want to see him get hurt but-”

“You feel like your loyalty is divided?” he asked.

“I really do. I think I need to sit her down and have a serious conversation with her. Maybe if I explain how much thought and effort has gone into this…” I sighed.

“You really care about everyone around you don’t you?”

I just nodded, sighing deeply. 

“There’s something that I need to tell you too, because you have also become someone that i care about.” I gave him full eye contact as I spoke, he looked back at me with curiosity and a little fear. “A few days ago I had to log into the social media account of one of the other players and I noticed that he was getting a lot of messages from a girl. One of them was about you and my curiosity got the better of me.”

He started to smile and it stopped me in my tracks.

“I’m sorry you have been dragged into all of this.Sam and I were together for a while about 2 years ago. It wasn’t very serious from my side of things but she wanted to settle down, get married and have kids and at the time I was only 21. I wasn’t settled in my career and didn’t feel ready for all of that.” he turned my hand over as he spoke and stroked the palm of my hand with his forefinger distractedly.

“So you broke up?” I asked, feeling stupid immediately, because of course they have broken up. 

“She gave me an ultimatum. Either I settled down with her or she would find another famous footballer to leech from. That’s when she started things with Jorginho. He was still married then, but he is getting a divorce to be with her,”

“They think that you don’t know” I sighed, my mind boggling at the way Ben had been treated and how Jorginho treated his wife. 

Ben laughed. “I know, they think they have been good at hiding it but he is my teammate after all and she is itching to make it public so that she can play up to the role of footballer’s wife.”

“I’m so sorry that they have done this to you.” I said genuinely meaning it. I guess I didn’t know Ben well enough to know what he had done in their relationship that might have led to Sam acting the way that she had, but surely nothing could warrant what she had done in revenge. 

“I think he is coming tonight, but I didn’t want that to stop me from hanging out with the lads and getting to know the group better. He isn’t going to ruin my time at Chelsea. For the record, I am well over Sam too. I don’t want someone who only wants me because I’m a footballer.”

I was about to tell him that I wanted him and potentially make a massive fool of myself when the waitress came over to take my order. I pretended to look at the menu as if i hadn’t already looked on their website and chosen what I wanted to eat hours ago. 

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We were all embarrassingly tipsy.

I had been sat with the girlfriends of some of the other new players for an hour but because the two of them were German and already knew each other I couldn’t do much but nod along with their conversation that they were kindly conducting in English to try to include me but was about how they were settling into London and struggling to find jobs with their German qualifications.

Ben and some of the other new players had been sat talking and laughing together. He seemed to be having a good time so I didn’t want to go over and pull him away. I didn’t want to come across as needy and I did enjoy looking over at him every so often and catching his eye. 

Eventually one of them stood to go to the bar and the group of boys broke up with Ben coming over to the girls’ table and holding his hand out to me. 

“Do you want to go for a dance?” he grinned, already half pulling me out of my seat. 

I used to go to clubs when I was at university but it had been a long time since I graduated and they had never really been Rory’s thing so we hadn’t continued to go out once we graduated. 

Bri had suggested we go clubbing together plenty of times but I had always resisted knowing that one of us would end up too drunk and in a bad situation as a result. 

I let Ben lead me to the dance floor and put his arms around me. We were both a little too tipsy to keep to any sort of rhythm, we just kind of held onto each other and moved. 

Realising how bad we probably looked to everyone else we started to laugh about it. 

“I swear I can do better, I have just over done it on the beers.” he said, having to speak directly into my ear to be heard. His hot breath tickled, and I tried not to react. 

I already had my arms around his neck, but slipped a hand up into his hair to pull his face back to mine so that I could say something back to him. 

I was going to tell him that I thought his attempt at dancing was cute but I didn’t manage it, because as soon as I held onto him and his eyes met mine I knew that I wanted to kiss him. 

I guided his face closer and our lips met, softly at first, but I was soon tasting his beer on his tongue. I got lost in him, forgetting where I was and who was around me. All I wanted was Ben.

After what felt like forever we broke apart for air and Ben put his face in the crook of my neck, I think to hide that he was blushing again. 

“I’m going to go and get another drink, do you want one?” he asked, guiding me off of the dancefloor so that we could hear each other a little better away from the banging music. 

“Um, yes please. Archers and lemonade.” 

“Be right back. I’ll come and find you if you want to go back to the girls.” he said before leaving me to go to the bar.

I had completely forgotten about the two german girls I had been sat with and I was unsure if I could just go straight back to them but I didn’t have many other options without Ben by my side. 

I walked back over to the tables that were occupied by our group but accidentally bumped into the side of someone while trying to squeeze through a gap in the crowd.

“Excuse you.” the girl spat, turning to me.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to bump into you.” I said apologetically, although unsure the girl deserved an apology for being so quick to be nasty about it.

She looked me up and down and said “What a state.” to the man standing beside her.

I was about to get defensive and angry when I realised that it was Mason beside her. Putting two and two together I realised that this was the not quite famous pop star girlfriend. 

“Katie, your lipstick is a bit smudged.” he said, sounding pissed off. 

I rubbed my thumb at the corner of my mouth.

“Well Katie, how good is it of my boyfriend to tell you what the issue is?” she asked rhetorically, emphasizing my name and the word ‘my’.

I wanted to tell her that I didn’t give a shit about her precious boyfriend but now that things were happening between me and Ben I didn’t want to embarrass him by being a bitch to his team mate and I did still have to have a working relationship with Mason. 

“Whatever I’m bored of this. I’m going to dance.” the girl huffed, walking away.

Mason didn’t follow her.

He stared at me, his lips pursed.

“What is your problem?” I asked.

“I told you he was no good for you.” 

“I don’t need relationship advice from you, thanks though.” that was the best that I could do without being rude and I had to remove myself from his presence before I did anything worse. 

Walking a bit quicker I made it back to the girls’ table and apologised to them for leaving them earlier. They were really nice about it and told me not to worry and that they would probably go and dance with their partners in a bit if they ever stopped talking at the other table. 

Relief swept over me when Ben came and joined us with our drinks. He had got a beer for himself, my archers and had bought a pitcher of some sort of bright blue cocktail for the girls to share which they were appreciative of. 

“He is a good one no?” the brunette one said, Sophia I think her name was. 

I laughed and agreed. Ben was one of the good ones, no matter what Mason thought. I trusted my judgement more than I trusted him. 

I looked at Ben as he sat drinking from his beer bottle. Staring at his lips around it just made me want to kiss him again, away from the prying eyes of everyone else. 

I drank my drink quickly which I knew I would probably come to regret later, then slid my chair closer to Ben’s so that I could whisper in his ear “Do you want to get out of here?”

 ---------------------------------------------------------------

We walked hand in hand back to my flat from the club. My flat was a lot closer than Ben’s house in Surrey and there was no way either of us was driving or patient enough to get a taxi all that way. 

I unlocked the door with shaking hands and pulled Ben inside, all the alcohol I had consumed suddenly making me very brave. 

“I want you” I managed to say. I had been about to explain that I wanted him, and not because he was a footballer, but I just couldn’t get the words out.

He doesn’t waste a moment, lifting me off my feet and carrying me through to my bedroom. He sits on the edge of my bed and lowers me onto his lap, my thighs on either side of him. My head was higher than his and I gripped his hair in my fist as I kissed him deeply again.

His hands found my ass and pressed me down against him. I could feel how hard he was, straining through his jeans. He pushed my dress up and pulled it off over my head and before I could react his mouth was on my neck. 

I shuddered at the sudden chill of being undressed, and the feeling of his tongue against my skin. 

He pinches the clasp of my bra and it pings open, my breasts falling out before him. He smiles appreciatively before cupping one in his hand and leaning down to take the nipple of the other into his mouth. 

I gasp at the contact and rock involuntarily in his grasp. My core, covered only by my knickers reacts in pleasure at the friction caused and I continue to move, taking my pleasure from him. 

He releases my nipple from his mouth and cups my face instead, forcing me to look at him. “God, you are so beautiful”.

He lifts me and tears my knickers from my body, discarding what’s left of the lace garment on the floor as I pull his shirt up and off over his head and proceed to kiss and nip gently at his neck. 

“I want you to ride me.” his tone is commanding but gentle, and I feel hot at the thought.

I reach down and unbutton the fly of his jeans, quickly ridding him of them and the boxers below. His cock springs free against my thigh and I hold back a moan at how thick it feels. 

One of his hands found my hip, the other guides his cock to my core and I sink down to meet it. 

Feeling full I take a moment to adjust and grip his shoulder to steady myself. The hand at my hip squeezes gently in encouragement and I start to move, knowing we’re both too desperate to go slow. 

He leans back slightly and watches me, starting to thrust up. His resolve to not flip us over and take me wavering. 

I reach one hand up to one of my breasts and start to massage it. Ben’s eyes dart to my hand and watch my every move as I start to roll my nipple between my fingers. He doesn’t know where to look when I move my other hand to my clit, beginning to rub it in circles. His grip on me tightens as I writhe towards my release. He must know that I’m close and how could he not from the moans he is eliciting from me.

I cry out his name as my body shudders to its release, my core clamping down on his cock. I continue to rock my hips through it and bury my face in his neck. 

He gives me a few seconds to come down from my high before he lifts me from him and pushes me backwards onto the pillows. He leans over me and presses a kiss to my lips before burying himself back inside me. My legs automatically wrap around his waist and draw him closer. I need to feel him as deep as possible. 

I feel his hand slip between our sweat slickened bodies and gasp as his thumb meets my now oversensitive clit.

I dig my nails into the soft flesh of his shoulder and he doesn’t react, his face is buried in my neck where I’m sure he’s marking me as he fucks me with deep powerful thrusts. I tighten my legs around him and hold him as close as possible, chasing another orgasm. 

There’s no rhythm to our movements against each other anymore, just an animalistic need to come.

He tips me over the edge again first, and I muffle any sound that I make against his shoulder but he feels the familiar sensation of my walls clamping down on him and grunts appreciatively in acknowledgement. A few thrusts later I feel him spill into me. 

He presses his mouth back to mine then and we kiss sloppily while he slips from inside me.

[dreamescapeswriting]

Unplanned Outcome ~ PJM & JHS [Request] [Part Two]

↬↬↬  Part One [M]

↬↬↬Word Count: 6.1K

↬↬↬Genre: Angst, fluff?

↬↬↬Pairing: Jung Hoseok x Fem!Reader

↬↬↬A/n: This was written before anyone even saw part 2 so I hope you guys enjoy this

This was just going to be a flying visit, that was what you kept repeating over in your head nothing was going to keep you there. In and out. No one would have to know you were even in town and it would be fine, everything would be fine and you had nothing to worry about. 

"Here darling, take this." You whispered to your daughter as she held out her hands for the fake keys you were holding out for her to take, she giggled at you and began chewing on the teething ring she was holding. It was her favourite teething set that you'd gotten her for her 2nd birthday a couple of months ago, 2 years. It had been that long - well 2 years and 8 months since you left Seoul and this was the first time you were driving back through. Coming back to the city you'd left for a good reason.  

"State your business here please," The man at the toll booth said as you handed him the money and waited for your ticket you knew this was his job but he could have at least smiled about it, 

"Family visit, leaving Sunday." You knew you had to be brief with them, they didn't care what you were doing they only cared if you were staying or leaving. His eyes lit up when he heard your daughter saying something in the back of your car,

"Cute kid," You smiled in the mirror at your daughter who was now falling asleep with her mouth wrapped around the fake keys. 

"She is," You whispered thanking him for the ticket and driving further down the motorway in the direction of a gas station, you were running low and wanted to stock up on fuel before you got to your mums' place - she was the one forcing you to come back after all. She'd gone on a huge rant that it wasn't fair about keeping you and your daughter out of Seoul without anyone getting to see her despite your counter-argument about how they could come to you anytime they wanted to they just didn't want to. 

Passing through the city everything began to seep back into your memories, everything you'd managed to push off and ignore for the last 2 years and 8 months of being out of there. Black and white images flashed through your head like a silent movie about the nights you'd spent lying to Hoseok and going to secret spots with Jimin, even all the memories you shared with Hoseok over the years. 

"You're going to love halmeoni's." You'd been trying to speak a little Korean around her since she was part Korean you wanted her to know about her heritage and language. She stared at you in the mirror trying to say the word but she was struggling with it and you smiled softly at her she was only young but you still talked to her as though she was going to speak back to you in coherent sentences. 

"She's got this huge sandpit in the back garden and she's convinced your aunties to bring their sons around, you'll love them I promise." She'd only ever been around other kids when she was in nursery and daycare and this was the first time she was ever going to meet anyone else that was family. No one had come to see you when you gave birth because they were all so busy with their own things to get out of Seoul and find you plus you'd told your mum not to come out, after the birth you didn't want anyone to come near you. It had been one of the worst moments in your daughter's life.

Sooyoung was walking past the gas station when she could have sworn she saw your car pulling out of it and getting ready to move onto the main road in the direction into town, she stayed still on the path watching from afar wanting to see for sure that it was you - she didn't want to be the one to cry wolf if it wasn't really you inside of the car. But the number plate was the same and as soon as your car pulled onto the main road her mouth dropped open it was either you or someone that looked an awful lot like you.

Sooyoung: [10:45 AM ] I think I just saw Y/n...She's back in Seoul? Did she call you? 

Hitting send she waited patiently for Jaein to get back to her. All of them had been worried sick since the moment you left town, spending countless days trying to contact you. Hoseok went to your parents but they had no idea you'd even left Seoul. He spent months trying to track you down but it was clear you didn't want to be found, your number had been deactivated, your mother told Hoseok to stop looking and you'd deleted all forms of social media not wanting to be reached by a single person. It was clear you didn't want to be found so they all gave up - everyone except for Jimin and Hoseok. Jimin convinced everyone that he was going to keep helping his Hyung but Sooyoung knew there was something else keeping him going, no one was ever that motivated to find someone without there being something there but after a few months Jimin dropped everything. It was like he didn't even want to know who you were anymore, he even stopped speaking to Hoseok who never gave out hope on you coming back.

Jaein: [10:57 am] Hasn't contacted me? I'll go to my mums and keep an eye out, if she's back she'll go to her mum. Don't tell Hobi. He's only just getting through things. 

They both agreed to wait until there was concrete evidence that you were back in Seoul, Jaein had lived across the road from you like kids and was going to sit out in her window all day if that's what it took to find out if it was really you Sooyoung had seen. It had to have been though there was no one else it could have been - the same car, the same plates and you even looked like you, you'd hardly changed in the two years you'd been gone though. Your hair had gotten a little longer from what she could see through the car window but other than that there was nothing new about you. Sooyoung stared down at her phone debating calling Hoseok but he'd only just been able to move on from you running away from him. He'd been blaming himself the entire time, saying that he was the one that pushed you to run away as you did. Leaving nothing behind, not even a note to tell him why you were leaving and where you were going if you'd ever come back. It ripped him apart leaving everyone around him to pick up the debris that you'd left behind in your path of destruction. Sooyoung's blood boiled the more she thought about you packing up and living without a word, she hated you for what you did to Sooyoung and she was never going to hide that fact from you.

"Mum, I'm outside, can you come and help us inside?" You asked over the phone as you unstrapped your daughter from her car seat, she was fast asleep which was going to make things easier for you. All you had to do was get her into the house without Jaein's mother seeing you both, she was one of the biggest gossipers on the street and as soon as she knew something everyone would know within hours. 

"You're here!" You heard your mother scream and you rolled your eyes she was being dramatic as ever about things so you held up your finger up to your mouth to signal that your daughter was sleeping and that you didn't want anyone to wake her up just yet. Naptime was very little in your household and you were going to let her nap as long as she needed.

"The bags are in the boot of the car, I'll take her inside." You whispered picking up your daughter and carrying her up the driveway and into the house where you were greeted by your aunties all wanting to get a peek of your daughter but you held her closer to you and walked in the direction of your old room. Your mum had already put up a small crib for her to sleep inside of while you stayed with her.

Jaein: [11:30 am] It's her but there's something you have to know, let me call you...

She'd watched the whole time, the moment your car pulled onto the driveway she was in the window watching. Your mum came out with her arms spread wide but stopped once she saw you do something, you were clutching something in your hands when you got out of the car and when you turned towards the house that's when Jaein saw the baby clutched in your arms, Jaein was too far away to be able to determine the age of the baby but as soon as she saw you and no one else in the car she knew the baby was yours. 

"Are you sure? It could have just been one of her cousins?" Sooyoung didn't want to assume that you'd run off to have a baby and not told anyone, it could have been any number of reasons, 

"No, her mum looked like she hadn't seen her in years and then they took bags into the house. I'm telling you it's her baby." Jaein was sitting in the window of her old bedroom still trying to see if anything else happened but you were staying inside of the house by the looks of it. It seemed to be a huge family reunion going on since she kept seeing your family pull up and head into the house. 

"Do we tell Hoseok?" Sooyoung questioned as she stared down a photograph she still had of you and her in her apartment, 

"We don't even know if the baby is his, she's been gone for so long she could have moved on by now, met someone new." Sooyoung hummed putting down the photograph, 

"I'll come around to yours and we'll crash the party." 

Your mother had you and your daughter sitting in the living room while everyone questioned you on who the father was, something you'd never told anyone because how could you tell them when you didn't know. It was always the same story, it was none of their business and they weren't to tell anyone that you had a child. 

"I bet it's Hoseok's and that's why she ran away." You shot a look at your cousin who was sniggering to her husband, you knew they all locked down on you for walking away from the wedding and throwing your life away. 

"Why would she run away? I bet she cheated on him." You'd had enough of their snide comments about you and your daughter it was all that had been happening from the moment you'd brought her down for everyone to see. From the way she looked to the clothes you dressed her in, they just liked to nitpick on every small thing so you picked her up from the floor. 

"I'm going for a walk." You pushed past your cousins who were now laughing at you as you laid your daughter down in the small pram and began pushing her out of the house, your mother caught your arm before you got to the door. 

"You promise to come back this time, don't you?" Her voice was shaking and your heart sank as you realised just how much this had affected her, you'd never thought about it until now. How you'd locked almost everyone out of her life and never gave them a chance to be included on it, you hadn't even sent photographs to your mum. You were so scared she would show someone who would tell Hoseok or Jimin about your daughter,

"I promise. I'm just going to go and get her favourite apple sauce." You whispered leaning up and kissing her cheek before pushing the pram out of the house only to see Sooyoung and Jaein across the road on their way over. They were on their way to crash the party when they saw you coming out of the house.

"Y/n?" You were torn, going back into the house meant facing everyone laughing about you but going out onto the road meant facing them and asking their questions.

"Hi Sooyoung," You swallowed the lump in your throat as you pushed your sleeping daughter down the road and towards them, they were going to keep following you so you might as well get it over and done with to see what they would say. 

"Cute kid." You saw no use in lying to Jaein, they both knew when you lied they knew you too well. 

"She's mine," You whispered moving the top of the pram away from her face and looking down at her, her being there made you less anxious about this but you knew that this had only just started. 

"How old is she?" You glanced at Sooyoung who hadn't even looked at your child, she'd just stood with her hands on her hips staring at you. 

"2 years old back in April." You whispered looking away from her, you felt like you were being scolded by a teacher but she held her stare on you regardless that you were looking away from her. She wanted you to feel like this, you had questions to answer to.

"Where have you been? I've been so worried!" Jaein was always the sweeter and more forgiving one of your friends, your daughter began to stir in her sleep and then let out a cry.

"I'm here baby," You whispered bending down to pick her up in your arms and bounce her from side to side, as soon as her eyes opened Sooyoung's facial expression softened looking at the way she clung around your neck the way she did. 

"You're good with kids," You laughed as Sooyoung bounced your daughter on her lap, you were sitting on a porch swing with Jaein and Sooyoung as they questioned you. It hadn't been as bad as you thought it would be, you'd thought they would integrate you but they were just asking small questions about what your life was like and what your daughter was like.

"Is she Hobi's?" Sooyoung's voice was stern and you knew that question was coming but you hadn't expected her to be so blunt about it. You had no idea if Jimin had told people what happened between you, you had no idea what any of them had been doing. As soon as you were out of Seoul you deactivated your phone so you couldn't be tempted to call them and fix things over. You didn't want to when you knew there was no going back on what you had done. 

"We need to get you back home to Grandma," You forced out a laugh taking your daughter in your hands and laying her down in the pram but Sooyoung wasn't done, you began walking across the road while she yelled at you. Jaein begging her to stop, that things were fine and she didn't need to do this but Sooyoung had no sympathy for you not after what you'd put everyone through.

"Why didn't you just tell him you were pregnant?! He would have loved to be a dad or are you just that heartless?!" The last part got you, you turned around to look at her eyes filled with tears as you finally admitted the one thing that had been holding you down for years.

"Cause there is a very big chance that he isn't her father!" You finally admitted it felt like a weight was automatically removed from your chest as you screamed the words out to her. Jaein stared at you with wide eyes but you pushed the pram back up into your mums' house and shut the door, tears streaming down your cheeks as you finally let out the secret after all these years. You locked the door and your mum came over to you, the house was silent as everyone turned to see you crying. 

"Y/n? What happened?" You shook your head at her looking at your cousins who were all intrigued to know what had happened out there to make you this upset.

"Mum-" You couldn't even get through the sentence, you just bent down to pick up your daughter and rushed up to your old bedroom, slamming the door and putting your daughter into her crib. 

"I'm sorry baby, here." You handed her the stuffed toys you'd brought along with you, as well as some blocks for her to play with. You sat in front of the crib watching her closely, you were sure she belonged to Hoseok but there was always that fact that she could possibly belong to Jimin and that was the one thing you didn't want. 

"I'm sorry your life is so messed up, it wasn't meant to be like this." You whimpered, her hand came through the small bar of the crib to wipe away your tears, 

"Mum sad?" You nodded at her and she frowned watching you, she was always so inquisitive about everything happening around her. 

"Yeah, darling, mum's sad." You whispered watching as she very cleverly made her way out of the crib before sitting between your legs and resting her head on your chest. 

"What's wrong?" You sighed looking down at her, you began playing with her hair as you shook your head telling her that it was nothing. 

"Mum's just sad, you're growing up so quickly." You lied putting her hair into two pigtails kissing the back of her head when there was a knock at the door. 

"I sent everyone home," You felt bad that your mum had to cancel things because of you,

"They started as soon as you walked away, I won't let anyone talk about my daughter like that but I saw Sooyoung and Jaein." She sat down beside you and laid your head on her shoulder wanting to care for you like you were your daughter. 

"You don't have to tell me what happened, you don't have to tell me why you left but just...just let me in. Let me help you." You whimpered hearing her say this to you, you'd locked her out for so long thinking she would think little of you for what happened but she was your mum. She wasn't there to judge you, 

"There's something you need to know about her." You whispered wiping your eyes on your sleeve and looking at your daughter. 

"Tell me." 

The cup in your hand was starting to burn the palm of your hands but it was nothing compared to the scolding you were getting from your mum. You were sitting in the back garden watching your daughter playing on the small slid and the ball pit that was in there. Your mother had gone through the emotions with you, she was angry with you, then sad that you had to go through it alone and back to being angry because of what you'd done to your perfect relationship with Hoseok. 

"Does he know about Jimin?" You shook your head and sipped on the coffee, 

"Unless Jimin told him, I don't think so." She sighed at you watching as you drank the hot liquid, she took in a deep breath knowing that she was going to have to act like a mother again. 

"You have to tell them both-"

"I'm sure Sooyoung already went to tell him earlier." You muttered putting down the mug and going over to your daughter who was calling out for you to play with her in the pit. 

"You can't keep something like this from him forever, he has a right to." You knew she was right but it wasn't the right time but you knew it was never going to feel like the right time. Your mother watched as you ignored her and she knew she was going to have to step in and do something about it.

"When do you leave tomorrow?" 

"6 pm, why?" You questioned laughing as your daughter went down backwards on the slide, 

"I'll make us a family meal. Your favourite?" You nodded at her not looking over at her as you keep your eye on your daughter. 

"She's back? For good?" Hoseok asked looking at Sooyoung as she stood at his front door, he hadn't let her inside because he didn't feel like having visitors until he heard you were in town. The moment he heard that he let his guard down and she made her way inside of the house, nothing had changed. There were photos of you all over the walls, he hadn't moved on from you at all and he was still holding out hope that you would come home to him one day that you just needed time to think things over and you would be back.

"There's something you need to know Hoseok, she's not alone." His heart began to beat fast as he thought you'd come home with another man but he could tell by the look on Sooyoung's face that it was something else, 

"She has a child." Her mouth ran dry as she debated about telling him how she didn't know it she was his or not. It wasn't her place to tell him any of this but she could already tell that you weren't going to do it any time soon and he had every right to know, especially if there was a chance that that little girl was his. 

"A child?" He sat down on the chair behind him shocked, his legs felt like jelly at the thought of him having a child to you. 

"Is the child mine?" Sooyoung stayed quiet and he could already tell that she didn't have an idea to the answer of the question, Hoseok's mind went back to all of the time you'd been spending with Jimin and how he thought you'd been cheating on him all those years ago.

"You should go Sooyoung, I- I need to think." She walked out of the house without another word while Hoseok sat there staring at a photo of you on the fireplace, you were smiling brightly in the photo and holding up the engagement ring to the camera, happy about your life future together but on closer inspection, Hoseok noticed something he hadn't noticed before, Jimin. He was standing in the back of the photo glaring at you both in the shot and that was all it took for Hoseok to grab his car keys.

The next day had gone by in the blink of an eye but there was something off, your mother had barely spoken a word to you since you'd walked down the stairs but you put it down to the news you'd told her yesterday about your daughter and the identity of her father.

"Would it be selfish for me to ask you to stay?" Your mother asked as you laid the table, it was the first time she was going to have a full table for the first time in years and she didn't want to say goodbye to that feeling just yet. She'd only just gotten you back and now you were getting ready to up and leave her once again. 

"I'm sorry mum, we have a life back home now-"

"You had a life here!" She snapped slamming down a cup on the counter, you looked down at the floor swallowing the lump in your throat. 

"I'm going to go and put her in the swings." You whispered looking away from her as she tried to say sorry for her outburst but you left her to it.

"Swings!" You giggled excitedly to your daughter who had been colouring in the living room, 

"Swings?!" She screamed dropping the pencils and rushing to your side as fast as her tiny little legs would carry her, she bounced up into your arms and you blew on her stomach as you carried her in the direction of the backdoor. 

"She's gorgeous." You heard the familiar voice say, you turned on your heel to see Hoseok standing on the back porch watching you closely. He'd been standing there for ten minutes just watching you both as you pushed your daughter on the swing set, you hadn't changed at all in the years that you'd been away except for the child. 

"Hobi." You breathed, as soon as your eyes locked with him it brought back all of the overwhelming emotions you'd left behind, the love, heartbreak and guilt you'd felt towards him all these years coming crashing back like waves to a beach. 

"How old is she?" He questioned coming closer to you and her as you stopped the swing from moving, your daughter went to protest until she realised you were no longer alone in the garden. 

"2 Years old." You answered blandly looking at him as he stared at your daughter, you knew what he was doing it was the same you had done. He was scanning her for any signs that she was his and not someone else's,

"Jimin knows. I assumed that's who you think the other father is." His tone was harsh and you didn't blame him, what you'd done to him was wrong and you weren't going to hold it against him if he wanted to be mean about everything. 

"Hoseok I never-"

"Meant to hurt me? Ruin my life? Runaway without an explanation? Show up two years with a daughter you don't know the father of." You picked your daughter out of the swing set, 

"Go to grandma and clean up for the food." You whispered to her tapping her on the head as she rushed past Hoseok, staring up at him as she did.

"How could you do that to her?" You frowned expecting this conversation to be about him and what you had done to him, 

"You took her away from her father, you know I would have raised her as my own don't you." You looked down at the floor as he began to stalk his way over to you, it felt like he was the lion and you were the deer he was hunting. 

"Hoseok please let me-"

"Explain? I'm waiting for something you can say to make any of this better because Jimin couldn't think of anything either." That was when you noticed his knuckles, they were all scabbed over, your eyes flicked up to his face and you took in his appearance properly. He'd lost weight since the last time you saw him and he had a bust lip, 

"You fought him?" You breathed looking at his face and wanting to rush over to him and look after him but he wasn't yours to look after anymore, he wasn't yours to worry about. 

"Why? Scared I hurt him?!" He snapped, 

"I'm scared you hurt yourself! You've never been good at fighting," You sighed at him and he felt his heart sink as he realised that you still cared for him. 

"It was never meant to happen like that-"

"You were supposed to break things off first?" You shook your head tearing up, he had every right to be this mad about it since it was his life you'd ruined by running out on him.

"No. I never wanted to hurt you! Jimin was just-" You let the tears rolled down your cheeks, you'd thought about how this would go a million times but you'd never put into practice what you were going to say to him because nothing would be able to tell him how truly sorry you were and why you had done it. 

"He already explained it to me and he's a-" He didn't finish his sentence but you noticed his hands clench up at the mention of him. 

"I went to see him and talk about all of this but he just claimed that he didn't care. That all of that was in the past and he was happy now, happy with someone who stuck around and that he'd only been with you for one reason." You blinked at him waiting for the reason, you already had suspicions about it all, after you left you began to piece things together. How Jimin only wanted you once you expressed how happy you and Hoseok were and how he never seemed to care about Hoseok's feelings, 

"He was just using you to tear us apart, he didn't want to see either of us happy together." You didn't feel your heartbreak like you thought you would, all you felt was anger towards the one who had used you to break down the man you did truly love.

"What happened between me and him it was just...It was excitement and passion that made me do it and..I was addicted to him but it's nothing now. I didn't love him I didn't feel anything towards him like I did- Do with you." You corrected yourself and he stared at you waiting for you to continue but there was nothing you could possibly say to make things smooth over and be like how they used to be. 

"Your mum said she had no idea where you were when you left." You were both sitting on the porch steps talking about everything, you'd spoken about when you left and where you went to with your daughter. 

"I just left. I didn't tell anyone Hobi, I knew that the less people that knew the fewer would have to lie to you." You whispered playing with your fingers, he'd been so forgiving throughout all of it and it wasn't fair. You wanted him to scream at yell at you for all of the things you'd put him through but he wasn't like that at all.

"Was anyone with you when you gave birth?" You shook your head thinking about the moment you'd gone into labour with her, you thought it was the Universe getting back at you for what you'd done to Hoseok, 

"I think I had instant Karma. I had to give birth in an elevator," You laughed at yourself but Hoseok's eyes filled with concern the moment you mentioned it. No one knew this story, you told your mother you'd given birth in the hospital instead of an elevator in the smallest apartment building you could find. 

"Dear god not now!" You screamed clutching the bottom of your bump as you felt your water break, you could have had hours until you had to push but the way the contractions were hitting you you knew it wouldn't be long and you were stuck inside the smallest elevator known to man.

"Fuck! Please!" You whimpered hitting the alarm button inside the elevator, a man's voice sounded through the system but he didn't sound bothered that you were screaming in agony. 

"Get me out of this fucking thing before I give birth on this fucking floor!" You screamed at him but he hung up the emergency call and you were left there alone with your bump. You sunk onto your bum holding onto your stomach as you begged her not to come out yet, to just hold on a little while longer so you could get somewhere safe for her to come into the world. 

 (X)

You weren't ready at all but the man on the elevator alarm told you that there was nothing they could do, the fire department was on their way but the roads were packed thanks to a village-wide power cut.

"You couldn't just wait three more hours?!" You screamed at yourself as you felt the need to push creeping up on you, you spread your legs inside the elevator and laid the jacket you'd been wearing when you got inside. 

"P-please." You whimpered to no one imparticular, you just wanted this to go right so nothing would happen. 

"Okay...3...2...1." You cried out as you began pushing in the way you'd been told to in all the birthing classes, doing everything you could to remember what all of the teachers had said to you. Hold breath and push, breathe and push all over again.

"I-I can't do this." You whimpered to yourself, you couldn't see what was happening, you didn't know if she was going to come out okay or if she was even turned the right away around. 

"You can do this, it's just a couple of more pushes." The male voice was back through the alarm, he couldn't see into the elevator but he'd come back to hear you screaming out. 

"C-Can't." Your body felt so weak but you just kept picturing the way she would look in your arms, the male began to tell you how beautiful she would be, how she was going to be so brave like you were being right now. You didn't feel brave, you felt like a failure who couldn't even give birth to her daughter right,

"One more push okay? Just one more and she'll be right there in your arms." You whimpered hearing his words of encouragement, you just thought about how you didn't deserve them but you had to do this for your daughter. 

"FUCK!" You cried out pushing as hard as you could one last time until you finally felt her leave your body and start screaming loudly

"You've been raising her alone?" You nodded as you looked through the small kitchen window, she was standing with your mum making cupcakes while you and Hoseok sat to catch up on everything. 

"Its a struggle but I manage." You whispered she was worth everything you'd gone through to get her to the place you were at now. You had a stable job, she had a stable school system and you were contempt with your life. You could have been happier if Hoseok had been there but you weren't going to mention that to him, he'd only just found out she even existed. 

"I want to help out in any way that I can,"

"Hobi we don't even know if she's-"

"She's mine. I can tell. The smile, the eyes, she's all me." He whispered looking from her to you, you could tell he was serious about this. About being there for her but you couldn't let him do that,

"Hoseok-"

"Please. If you're not sure we can run tests but I assure you that she's mine and even if she wasn't I'd still raise her." His hand was over yours and you stared at them and thought about the way it made you feel. You still had the wave of butterflies throughout your stomach, the spark whenever he touched you and your eyes began to tear up. 

"No." You stood up from the steps and moved away from him crying heavily as he was just willing to forgive you like that like nothing has happened. 

"You can't- Hobi I broke the trust, I broke everything that happened between us and you're just going to take me back?" He stuttered over his words trying to find something to say, he knew you were right but being with you was what was meant to happen. He was meant to be with you he was so sure of it he was willing to bet everything on it, 

"I love you." You sobbed harder and he engulfed you in a hug kissing the top of your head as you cried to him about how he should hate you. 

"I did. For a while at least but then I just- Seeing you and her it just made me think about what our life would have been like together," You stared at him, you hated that he was this forgiving over something like this, 

"Life isn't a romance novel Hobi...We can't just make up on the spot and think our problems will be fixed." He nodded along to everything you were saying, he knew that but he wanted to put in the effort with you and try. 

"I want to try, I want us to be us again." He ran his hand over your cheek and you leant against it, it felt nice to have him like this again but you didn't want to make this a one-time thing. 

"W-We have a daughter to think about if we're serious about-"

"I am."

"Then we have to go slow, I can't just introduce you as her father and turn her whole world upside down, we take it slow and ease her into it." You warned him and he nodded along with you, willing to do whatever it took to be with you and his daughter. 

Tagline: 

@writingdreamsnottragedies @snowy-meowl @ariisd1 @jooniesdarlingdimples @lyoongx @lynnthevirgo @mitzwinchester @fan-ati--c @callingmyangel​ @rjsmochii​ @kneel-begyourpardon​ @taestannie​ @innersooya​

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Hints of Beth on Kirkman’s Reddit Thread 👀👀👀

Okay, thank for suggesting this Nonny. And thanks to everyone else who has sent in pictures and posts about this thread. I’m not going to post them all here, but just know that I’ve seen them and I did go through this entire thread. It became a MAJOR rabbit hole for me.

Actually, I kind of went down two major rabbit holes yesterday, which are somewhat intertwined, but I’m not going to get into the second one until after ep 22 airs. (Sorry for the tease.)

So I basically saw two different patterns here that made me happy.

Pattern #1 That’s Making Me 👀👀👀

How often he mentions here.

So, let’s unpack this. In this thread, as Nonny says, Kirkman randomly mentions Beth somewhere between 5 and 10 times. As with the one posted yesterday, he just randomly brings her up in comments that aren’t even asking about her.

I mean, this definitely means something to TD, because we realize that symbolically, Leah = Beth. But most of the GA has no clue about that symbolism. This person isn’t asking about Beth. So why does Kirkman feel the need to bring her up? At the very least, this is a hint about some sort of link between Leah and Beth. (At the most, he’s hinting about Beth’s return.)

On the other hand, some of them ARE questions about Beth. But I mean, what the hell is this supposed to mean?

Just enough for what?

And, I don’t seem to have taken a screenshot of it, but there was one where someone said they wanted Beth to come back, and he responded, “Sorry, she’s dead.”

But then in another one, he answered the exact same question this way, as Nonny points out above:

So he’s definitely all over the place and clearly misdirecting. And then there are some Beth queries he didn’t bother to answer:

So, even taken by itself, I would lump this in with the Beth mentions in 10x17, and the insane number of social media hints we’ve gotten lately. THERE’S. JUST. SO. MANY.

Has Robert Kirkman mentioned Beth before, both positively and negatively?

Yes.

Has he done what most people consider trolling?

Yes.

But never to the extent I’m seeing on this thread.

Pattern #2 That’s Making Me 👀👀👀

So, while I was reading through the thread, I started to pick up a second pattern.

Not every time, but at least two or three of the times he mentions Beth, it’s either in a question about Clementine, or he also mentions Clementine in connection with Beth.

Who is Clementine? Don’t feel bad if you don’t know. I didn’t either. This is why I called this a rabbit hole. I started looking up information about her and got totally obsessed in a matter of minutes.

Clementine is a popular female character from one of the TWD games. You can read more about her HERE.

Now, here’s the funny thing. I’m almost positive that some years ago, someone sent me something about Clementine and possible parallels to Beth. I have to say that I wasn’t terribly receptive to the idea.

Don’t get me wrong, I could see the parallels they pointed out, but they seemed too generic to me at the time. I mean, being a badass young woman in the apocalypse is going to have some parallels to all the strong female protagonists in TWD universe. And I didn’t know nearly as much back then about where Beth’s arc was going, so I just didn’t see a strong enough connection to justify it.

Yeah, I’ve officially changed my mind on that. Not only are there parallels in the way Clementine’s character was built--I think she grew up on a ranch, bonded with someone a lot like Daryl, etc--but a lot of what happens in her arc is stuff we’ve been predicting for Beth for a long time.

For example, the child and baby symbolism around Beth. Because of this symbolism, and also the episode Scars (I think that was an anti-parallel to Beth) that she’ll come back leading a band of kids, just like Jocelyn did; except they’ll be good instead of evil. They’ll all be miniature Beths and Daryls. Well, guess what, Clementine leads a band of lost children and looks out for them.

I won’t go into all of it in detail, but there is a piracy storyline for Clementine, there is a whole boat thing. The first “episode” she was in was called A New Day (kind of like A New Dawn, which we first saw in 4x01 with the Bethyl hug). AND, best of all, she had a death fake out. So I guess at the end of the final episode she was in, she was bitten, and asked her friend to put her down so she wouldn’t turn. Apparently, viewers (or players?) saw an ax descend and everyone assumed she was gone. And she was a very beloved, badass character, so there was a huge fan reaction to her game. (Sound familiar?)

Anyway, in this same thread, Kirkman hints that Clementine might not be dead and there are plans for her. The fans who see that hint kind of freak out. Notice their reactions here:

See what I mean? These reactions could practically be Bethylers talking about Beth.

And Kirkman keeps randomly mentioning Beth in conjunction with Clementine.

Now, I know I’ll get at least one person asking if this means they’re going to bring Clementine onto the show and maybe Daryl will fall in love with her instead.

No, that’s not what it means. I’m sure lots of people, when Beth returns, will frame this as the writers giving Beth Clementine’s arc from the game. And that’s fine to see it that way, but I actually think the opposite is true.

We know (and this is something Kirkman has confirmed) that he patterned Dwight’s character after Daryl. Dwight wasn’t a character in the comics until after the show took off and Daryl’s popularity skyrocketed. Obviously comic Dwight was never nearly as cool as TV show Daryl, but Kirkman did pattern the character after him.

I think he did the same thing with Clementine and Beth. I checked, and Clementine showed up as a character in 2012, between seasons 2 and 3, which means Beth was already a thing and Gimple had already done her suicide arc. I don’t know if they had all the details nailed down back then, but I do think that at the very least Gimple knew he’d be taking her from the relatively weak character she was in S2 and turning her into a strong, Daryl-like badass.

And yes, I think Kirkman has always known everything Gimple does about Beth’s arc, and that’s why he can speak about it so flippantly.

So, if you’ve been following the symbolism long at all, go check out Clementine’s arc. You’ll see exactly what I mean and why I’m so excited about it.

But this was probably my favorite answer he gave:

Again, I know he’s hoping this comes across as flippant, but look at what he’s saying if you take it literally. He’s saying that by the time Invincible season 2 is out, Beth will have returned. And then he even adds the “Clementine Lives!” bit.

Yeah, I think he’s dropping hints right and left here. So this made me EXTREMELY happy yesterday.

Switching gears just a bit, I also screen-shoted a couple of other things he said. They aren’t directly Beth related, but I found them interesting and thought you would, too.

How many times have I said they will be back, but in the spinoff, not the flagship series?

He’s says it’s far away, but I’m still happy to hear this. Can’t wait to see all the shows merge. I think it’s gonna be great!

I have more to say on the piracy angle of Clementine’s arc, but that’s the second rabbit hole I probably won’t post about for at least another week (maybe two). Stay tuned.

Thoughts?

[jamespotterthefirst]

Ocean Eyes (Ethan x F!MC)

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Lilac Allende) Word count: 2,400 + Warning: Adult language, adult situations Premise: When Ethan posts a daring picture, she responds just how he hoped.  Part 2 of Lovely.  Tags: @openheart12​ | @ethandaddyramsey​ | @noboundariesplease​ | @silverlitskies​ | @the-soot-sprite | @infinitiestones |  @emotionalswift2 | @flyawayboo |  @paulfwesley | @hatescapsicum​| @myusualnerdyself​ | 

_______________________________________

Donahue's was far more crowded that night than its usual Friday night tally. The dance floor she had just inhabited with Bryce was brimming with twice the number of dancing couples, all drunker and louder than usual. Lilac didn't mind, though. Everyone in general seemed to be having a good time and the high spirits were almost contagious. 

Before she could stop herself, her eyes darted to the same spot at the bar where they had been wandering to all night. He was still there, completely disinterested in the revelry around him, his attention instead on the nearly empty glass of scotch in his hand. He seemed to sense she was looking at him because his piercing blue eyes locked on hers for the first time that night.

 Ethan's expression, as usual, was unreadable but the way he looked at her sent a spike of adrenaline through her body. It was almost painful, like looking directly at the sun. Lilac could not look away. 

“Lil?”

“Hmm?” she said, finally breaking away from Ethan's spell to look up at Bryce. 

Bryce, seemed unfazed by her distraction. If he noticed her exchange with Ethan, he didn't comment on it. “I was saying my surgeon buddies want a game of darts. Want to come with?” 

Just then, a tiny figure dropped down next to Lilac in the booth, breathless and flushed. “Don't even think about stealing her away into enemy territory, Lahela,” teased Sienna. “You've been hogging her all night.”

Bryce put up his hands in defeat with his signature, dazzling laugh. “No arguments from me. I know better than to mess with you, Trinh.” Giving them both a mock salute and a wink, he strutted off to meet his friends. 

Sienna laughed. Once Bryce was out of earshot, she took a hold of Lilac's arm and leaned in to say in a lovely sing-song voice, “You have an admirer.”

Lilac didn't have to look to know she meant Ethan. “My goodness, he is giving you some serious bedroom eyes,” her friend commented with wonder. 

“That's how he always looks.”

“That's how he always looks at you,” Sienna corrected. “Any updates?”

Lilac gave her a noncommittal shrug. 

“Things are still…weird,” she allowed, even though “weird” was a poor descriptor. Things between them were downright tense and miserable since their phone call a few days ago. 

Lilac cringed inwardly at the memory. Leave it to her to get plastered enough to desperately throw herself at him. Where had she found the courage? Was she really that desperate for Ethan Ramsey? She knew the answer to that immediately. 

Sensing the shift in her mood, Sienna rubbed her forearm comfortingly. “This calls for a round. You can tell me all about it over mind numbing alcohol. What do you want? The usual?” 

But Lilac shook her head, already standing up. “If I'm going to burden you with my dreadful love life, then drinks are on me.” And before Sienna could protest, she was off to the bar. 

Ten minutes later, Lilac thanked Reggie for the drinks, left as generous a tip as her salary allowed, and turned back towards her booth. She only made it half a step when she almost collided into a solid, cable sweater clad chest. 

“Oh,” she yelped, ready to apologize. The words were struck dead when her eyes met bright blue ones. She froze, internally hating the fact that someone could paralyze her entirely with just a look. 

“Dr. Allende,” Ethan said with a brief nod. 

“Dr. Ramsey,” she returned. 

The music blared just as loudly as before, bodies moving and dancing all around them, yet all she could hear was the ringing silence between them. Lilac bit her bottom lip anxiously, struggling to find something, anything to say for neither made an effort to move away. 

Ethan was giving her that same indiscernible look from before. It was driving her to the brink of insanity. Just when she thought she could decode what it meant, he opened his mouth, as if to say something. He seemed to think better of it because he shook his head so imperceptibly that she might have missed it. 

“Enjoy your night, Doctor,” he said instead, before continuing his way. 

Lilac blinked, so stunned that she did not even turn to watch him walk away as she always did. 

“Oh my God,” Sienna squealed when Lilac rejoined her. “That was the most sexually-charged interaction I've ever seen in my life.”

“He barely said two words to me.”

“It gave me Pride and Prejudice vibes. That scene where Mr. Darcy visits Elizabeth at Charlotte's house and he doesn't know what to say."

Lilac gave her an unmoved glare that did nothing to quell her friend’s amusement. 

"What have you done to poor Dr. Ramsey?” Sienna cackled with unconstrained glee.  

“Very funny, Sienna.” 

“Okay, okay,” she said, sobering up. “No more Austen references, I promise.” She took the drink Lilac offered. “Is he still stalking your Pictagram?”

“Not sure. I stopped checking,” Lilac lied. The last time she looked for the username "ejramsey" in her notifications was the previous night. 

“Only one way to find out,” Sienna told her, already scrolling through Lilac’s Pictagram feed on her own phone.  It didn't take long for Sienna to freeze, grab Lilac's arm with a sense of urgency, and almost shout, “Lilac, go to your last post right now.”

She did as instructed with some reservation. Her last post had been that very morning, a selfie of her in bed, carefully constructed to appear casual and offhand when the reality was that she took several shots before she settled on one she liked. Lilac had captioned it "good morning" for no particular reason. But then again, was there any real purpose to posting on anything Pictagram? 

 And there, among the comments mostly from people she hadn't seen or spoken to in years was his. 

“He liked it!” Sienna declared, victorious. “And he commented, too.” Her friend said this with a certain finality that suggested the deal was sealed. Lilac and Ethan could practically marry now. 

“Is this what made you almost late to work, Allende?”

She reread his comment, unsure what to make of it. In her mind's eye, she could see the small, carefully guarded smirk that would accompany such a comment in real life. A small indicative that he, regardless of what he might say, had a soft spot for her. 

“Call this wishful thinking but,” Sienna started, “he is totally flirting with you. In his own weird Ethan Ramsey way made even more bizarre by technology. But flirting nonetheless. ” 

Lilac would have immediately disagreed, dismissed the comment, and changed the subject, but her attention was robbed by a post on her Pictagram feed. It was from the man himself, time stamped only a few minutes after hers that morning.

She almost choked on her drink. 

-------------------

Ethan was weak-willed and a tad bit pathetic, he had to finally admit that. Nothing else could explain the uncontrollable grin spreading across his face when his phone pinged with the notification: "Pictagram: dr.allende commented on your post." 

“Unfair,” was all she had commented. 

His grin broadened. God, he knew then why people were so addicted to social media. The thrill of instant gratification he felt then could be sold profitably in doses if it could be bottled.

No, he had reached the ultimate low of weak when he decided he had had enough of being tormented by her posts. He wanted to turn the tables on her and hope he had the same effect on her. The thought that he might have made his stomach swoop. 

He took a swig of his drink. What was wrong with him? 

When Reggie kicked everyone out a few hours later, Ethan retreated to his favorite lounging area in the now deserted beer garden. 

It did not surprise him that she joined him a few minutes later. At her brief hesitation, he nodded, a silent invitation for her to join him. 

“You win,” she said by way of greeting, taking a seat next to him on the sofa. 

Their bodies were so close that her thigh almost skimmed his. As if that wasn’t enough to wreck his sanity, she was looking at him with a glint in her eye that was telling of the effect his picture had on her. 

“What did I win?” he asked, humoring her. In his state of absolute abandon where his defenses had been rendered useless by her mere presence, he could give her anything. 

“You win at Pictagram. I could never top that picture.” There was that look of longing again, unmistakable in the golden lights of the beer garden. 

She was going to be his demise. 

“You’ve already done so,” he said quietly. “Many times.”

Lilac looked up at him, a quirk in her brow. “The green dress?”

There was a moment of silence in which they both remembered that night. 

“Yes, but also the one this morning. It was…” again, he was at a loss for words. “Nice,” he finished flatly. 

He almost laughed at the inadequacy. The picture inspired this male brain to fantasize about waking up next to her, kissing her neck, making his way lower and lower until her body twisted in pleasure against his mouth. Ten years of higher education proved inefficient at the sight of green eyes, full lips, and bed sheets. He was reduced to the simplest of beings. 

“Yours was very... nice too,” she returned, allowing a small pause before the insufficient word. “I miss that sight,” she confessed with no filter. 

An all too familiar tug in his chest. 

“Earlier, at the bar, when we bumped into each other,” she started when he failed to respond. “You wanted to say something.”

It wasn't a question but an observation. 

She knew him so well. Ethan had been arrogant enough to believe he had concealed his intentions so masterfully. Yet, she always saw right through him with the same precision that made her a brilliant doctor. 

“What did you want to say?” she asked in the softest of whispers, eyes locked on his. 

Ethan himself was not sure what he meant to say. He had seen her, suddenly in front of him, and he wanted to desperately say something. Anything. There had been no point. No words would be sufficient aside from the three that tormented him everyday. 

They were fully facing one another now, bodies mere inches apart. Before he realized what he was doing, he raised his hand to brush a strand of hair away from her face. His thumb lingered, stroking a feather light touch on her cheek. 

Her eyes fluttered closed and when she opened them again, they dropped directly to his lips. 

That was all it took for the last bit of his resolve to break. 

“Ethan, I—” 

Fueled by weeks of yearning, Ethan interrupted, filling in the distance between them and pressing his lips to hers. 

The kiss started with a rough force that she matched at once, their pressed bodies swaying Lilac back and almost toppling him on top of her. She didn't seem to mind, too entranced by moving her lips against his, arms clasped securely around his neck. 

Ethan was a fool for ever thinking two months in Brazil would be escape enough when what he wanted the most was right there, on Lilac Allende’s lips. 

“How do you do this to me?” he whispered gruffly against her neck, where his lips had found refuge. 

Lilac’s response was a soft moan. The things he'd do to hear that sound repeatedly, preferably echoing every wall of his apartment. 

Not breaking his lips' ministrations on the ridge of her collarbone, his hands fiddled with the front of her dress. In his eagerness, he struggled with the damned contraption. 

“Need help?” she teased breathlessly. 

Ethan broke apart to give her a wolfish smirk. She was going to pay for that.

Without warning, he moved his hands to her hips and in one swift movement, he flipped her on top of him. Her skirt rode dangerously high as her thighs straddled him. Lilac's little yelp of surprise gave way to another maddening moan when his fingers lazily brushed the inside of her thigh. 

“I can manage, Rookie,” he whispered hotly against her ear. The old nickname had its desired effect for her legs quivered in response. 

His small triumph was short lived, however. Her small revenge was swiveling her hips against his entirely. The pulsing, straining front of his trousers came in full contact with her and Ethan groaned. 

“I'm not a rookie at this,” she whispered defiantly, moving against him again with agonizing steadiness. “Lucky for you, I know what I'm d—” she broke off, biting her lip in a futile effort to repress a small cry. Ethan had lifted his hips off the sofa with ease, suspending her entire weight against him. 

“I know a thing or two as well,” he growled. His fingers moved higher up her thigh. 

“I remember.” 

“Do you remember moaning my name?” 

 His hand roughly moved the lacy fabric of her underwear aside.

“Yes,” she gasped. 

His fingers teased her. 

“Make me scream it,” she begged in a whisper.

Ethan groaned again. 

“Lilac,” he muttered huskily, any other coherent thought interrupted by the way she took his lower lip between her teeth. 

“I want— ” she started, but was far too distracted by his expert fingers. She buried her face against his shoulder, desperate to stifle her moan. 

“What do you want?” he asked, his voice a husky sound deep in his throat. 

Before she could answer, however, Reggie's voice called from inside the bar, “Ten minutes, Ethan.”

Thank God Reggie had not bothered to come outside. Otherwise, Ethan would have spent the next five minutes trying to find a sensible reason why his colleague straddled him shamelessly, his hand lost in the depths of her skirt. 

They looked at each other through hooded eyes, skin flushed bright. 

“Any chance that's enough time for you?” she joked. 

Ethan attempted to shoot her a look dripping of indignation, but the effect was ruined by his own chuckle winning out. “You insult me,” he said dryly. 

Lilac laughed out loud at that. When she sobered up, she regarded him with a very serious expression. Wordlessly, she pressed a tender kiss against his lips. 

“Lilac,” he said softly when they at last broke apart. 

“I know,” she said in a small, defeated voice. With that, she carefully climbed off him.

 She fixed her dress in thoughtful silence. “You know what this means, right?” she asked, a hint of a mischievous smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. “You posted a devastatingly hot picture on Pictagram to bait me. You won't be able to stop now.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Presumptuous of you to assume it was for your benefit.”

“I'm your only follower.”

Ethan rolled his eyes but he smiled regardless. 

“Don't worry. I'll post for you too,” she assured him. “Hope you're ready.”

He laughed despite himself. “Is that a challenge, Dr. Allende?”

Lilac matched his laughter. “Game's afoot, Dr. Ramsey.”

_____________________

AN: THANK YOU for all your wonderful comments on my last one. I appreciate everyone who read, liked, and/or commented! 

Masterlist

[amylillian22]

What If I Never Get Over You (Part 3) - Chris Evans Imagine

Summary: It’s the day of Y/N and Cody’s wedding, and Chris has every intention to stop the love of his life marrying someone else. 

Word Count: 2892

Warnings: Mentions of cheating, mentions of unable to carry children/get pregnant 

Author's Note: Final chapter of the mini-series, and it was NOT easy to write. I wrote two completely different drafts before I decided THIS one was the perfect way to end it. I hope you like it.

[Part 1] /// [Part 2]

Chris sat in the back of the church in his best black suit. His heart ached as he watched Y/N in a beautiful white dress slowly walk down the aisle. A small part of him was hoping Y/N would look back at the crowd and see him sitting in the back row. It killed him knowing it wasn't him at the other end of the aisle. For years, he always knew Y/N was the one he was going to spend the rest of his life with, build a home with, and fill it up with as many kids as possible.

The pastor said, "If anyone can show cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace."

Chris stood up from his seat and shouted, "I object!"

Except something came out. No one heard him. He tried again, but no one flinched at his words. He realized nothing came out, no matter how many times he opened his mouth and shouted. He got out of the pew and rushed towards Y/N. He literally stood in front of her and Cody, as they continued with the wedding as if he was invisible.

He fell down to his knees, feeling like he can't breathe as tears slowly fell down Chris' cheeks. He knew this was it. It was over for him as Y/N kissed her newly wedded husband.

Chris sat up from his bed, his chest heaving as he panted heavily. A sense of relief washed over him as he realized it was just a nightmare. The clock on his nightstand read 3:05AM. He closed his eyes and took a couple of deep breaths. He swung his legs over and carefully got out of bed.

In the dark, Chris made his way to the kitchen. He turned on the stove light to illuminate the kitchen as he made himself a cup of hot tea. He put a tea bag in his favorite mug before he watched a cup of water go in circles in the microwave. His mind drifted back to a moment he'll never forget three years ago.

The drive to the church wasn't far. Although Chris was speeding down the familiar streets of Boston, it felt like he was never gonna get there. Time was going by so slow and it didn't help that he had a million things running on his mind.

How does he stop a wedding? He's never witnessed one in real life. He's only seen them on movies and tv shows, but those have always been overly dramatic and unrealistic for his liking. His anxiety picked up as he wondered what the guest would say or do, how fast they would put it out on the social media world. For a split second, he worried what the headlines would say and what the whole world had to say.

He shook his head, letting his mind wonder about something more important. He wondered what he would do if she still didn't pick him, what if she goes on with the wedding and forever leaves Chris behind?

He slammed on the brakes in front of the church, not caring about parking in front of a No Parking Zone. He ran up the stairs, two steps at a time, and opened the double wooden doors. The lobby was empty for the most part except for one person who was on the phone. He ignored her and walked to the other set of doors that led to the main church. It wasn't empty, but it wasn't full either. A few people were fixing the decorations. Chris furrowed his eyebrows, he knew the wedding was starting soon. He wasn't early. The church should be filled with people.

Chris stopped a woman who walked towards his direction with a vase of flowers in her hands. "Excuse me, could you tell me where the bride's room is?"

"Sure. Go back out to the lobby, take a left. Then, go down the hall until you reach the fourth door on the right," she instructed.

"Thanks!" Chris quickly said before taking off to the bride's room.

It didn't take long to get there. He opened the door and was surprised to see it empty except for a girl standing in the middle of the room. She wore a black pencil skirt with a matching blazer. She spoke to her headset as she looked down at her clipboard, too focused on what was written while talking to someone on the other line.

Chris took a step towards her, causing her to look up and gasp. She placed a hand on her racing heart. "I'm sorry, there's someone here, I have to go. Chow!" She pressed the end button. "How can I help you, sir?"

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'm looking for the bride," Chris said. "Any chance I can speak to her real quick? It's important."

"There is no bride."

Chris' heart dropped to his stomach. "I'm sorry, what?"

"She called off the wedding about an hour ago. My team and I are trying as quickly as we can to inform the guest. I'm sorry we didn't tell you any sooner to save yourself the trip," she said before she eyed him down. He wore a pair of jeans, sneakers, and a long sleeve, that showed off his very muscular arms. "But I'm guessing you weren't here to see the wedding," she said, knowing this wasn't the first wedding to be stopped by an ex.

"Okay, thanks," Chris pulled out his phone from his pocket as he walked out of the church. Luckily, no one hadn't towed his car or given him a ticket yet. He looked down at his phone, staring at her contact information. He hadn't called her since the break up. He doesn't even know if that's still her number. He dialed, his heart ready to explode out of his chest after each ring.

"Hello?" A guy spoke on the other line.

Chris didn't know who it was. "Is Y/N there?"

"You know, a lot of people ask for her, but you have the wrong number, dude. But I hope you find her, and if you do, can you tell her to tell everyone she knows she changed her number so they can stop calling me," the gentleman hung up, extremely annoyed that someone else had called for a woman he didn't even know.

Chris quickly got in the car and slowly drove off, not knowing where to go. He thought about going to her place, but he figured if he was in her situation, being at home is the last place he would want to be after calling off his own wedding.

She's not getting married, he kept thinking to himself. Tears welled up in his eyes as he was overwhelmed with mixed emotions. He wanted to find her and see what happened. He wanted to know why she called off the wedding. More importantly, he still wanted to tell her how much he still loves her.

Chris let out a high sigh as he pulled up to his driveway. He closed his eyes and rolled his head back on the headrest. He was grateful Scott offered to take Kayla for the day. It was bad enough he knew it was her wedding day, but somehow it felt worse that there was no wedding and he didn't know how to get a hold of her. He didn't know where she could be.

He stepped out of the car and walked around to the side entrance of his house. He stopped on his tracks when he saw Y/N sitting down on the steps, waiting for him. She looked up as she heard his footsteps. Chris immediately noticed her red, puffy eyes. He didn't know what to say, but he knew he wanted to run up to her, wrap his arms around her, kiss her, and never let her go again. Instead, he sat down next to her on the steps, waiting for her to say the first word.

"I called off the wedding," she finally said after a few minutes of silence. She couldn't look at him though. She was too scared to see his reaction.

"I know. I went to the church." She quickly turned her head to see him, her heart stopping at his words. He looked into her tear filled eyes and said, "I wanted to stop you from getting married."

She felt a small weight off her shoulders, a sense of relief that he didn't show up to the wedding to give her his best wishes. But, she still had some questions and she still needed some answers.

"Why did you do it, Chris?" Her voice cracked.

Chris looked away from her, knowing she wasn't asking about why he showed up to the church. She was referring to what happened years ago. He wasn't gonna sugar coat it. He also didn't want to elaborate on the details more than he needed to.

"I was overwhelmed with everything going on at the time. I hadn't seen you in almost a year. That was the longest we had never gone without seeing each other. One night, I was feeling extra lonely and I got drunk at a party with the cast and crew, and then..." Chris stopped, unable to say the next words, but Y/N knew exactly what happened next. Chris closed his eyes and shook his head, mad at himself for what he did.

"I didn't tell you at first when it happened." Chris noticed the shock expression on her face, but continued on with the story. "Because it meant nothing. It didn't mean anything to me. When she told me she was pregnant a couple of months later, I didn't believe her. She agreed to do a DNA test. Turns out, she was right. Kayla is mine."

Y/N noticed his lips forming a smile as he said the last sentence for a few minutes before it vanished.

"But now, I can't say I regret what happened and I wished it had never happened, because then I wouldn't have Kayla."

Y/N heart broke a little bit. Since they dated in high school, she knew how much Chris wanted to be a father and have a big family. It killed her that she couldn't give him that.

"It was easier to break up with you then to tell you the truth. I thought it would hurt less to break up with you than finding out I cheated and having a baby with someone else. I knew the truth wasn't gonna get out there because Abby and I agreed we were going to keep Kayla as quiet as possible. We didn't want the media to constantly be harassing an innocent child. It's worked so far. No one knows I'm a father. People think she's one of my nieces' friends when I take them all out together."

Y/N nodded completely understanding why Chris kept Kayla away from the public. A part of her was really impressed he's managed to keep it a secret this long.

"Y/N," he looked into her eyes. "These are not excuses. It doesn't justify what I did wrong. I know what I did was wrong and completely unforgivable. So unforgivable, I still haven't forgiven myself for it."

Chris buried his face in his hands, unable to look at her. He was too scared about what would happen next. What would she say? He couldn't watch her walk away if she decided she still wants nothing to do with him.

"Chris..." he heard the sadness and brokenness in her small voice. "There's a reason why we didn't see each other that year. That's my fault. I purposely made it impossible not to see you."

He looked up at her. Her eyes welled up with tears. The sad look on her face made his heart race in fear.

"Why?" Was all he could say.

"At the beginning of my tour, I noticed I was late. I thought maybe I was pregnant. I had my assistant set up an appointment in Houston since we had only one extra day off. Turns out, I wasn't pregnant-"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Chris asked. "I would have been there for you-"

"Because you were filming. I knew they wouldn't let you leave and take days off, even if you are Captain America."

"That still doesn't explain why we didn't see each other for a whole year," he said.

Tears fell down her cheek. "The doctor said there was no way I could be pregnant because I didn't have any eggs. She says it's very rare for a young woman to lose all her eggs, but it's possible." Y/N paused for a second as the pain in her heart grew. "I couldn't see you knowing I couldn't give you what you wanted most in life, Chris. I made sure I agreed to any and all new dates added to the tour, which led to having a European tour right after our American tour. It was easier to run away from you than to tell you I can't give you your dream."

She finally let go and sobbed, Chris immediately engulfed her in his arms, crying with her knowing how much this was killing her. As a father now, he can't fathom the idea of not being able to have kids, let alone the love of his life unable to bear his children.

He cried with her as he held her tight. He wanted to take away all the pain she's dealt with since she found out. He wished he had been there for her, to reassure her everything would be fine and they would figure something out together.

"I'm sorry, Chris," she pulled back and looked at his broken blue eyes.

"I'm sorry too," he said.

She leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. He had one arm wrapped around her shoulder as he held her hand in his, enjoying this moment together- being able to touch her and hold her.

"Why were you going to stop my wedding?" Y/N asked after a few minutes of silence.

Chris let out a deep breath. "I couldn't let you get married without knowing I never got over you," he said without hesitation. He looked down at her. "Why did you call off the wedding?"

"Chris, I never got over you," she admitted. "No matter how hard I tried, I never stopped loving you."

Chris leaned forward and released the butterflies in her stomach the second he kissed her. She didn't waste a second to kiss him back as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Chris' hands moved to her waist and pulled her closer to his chest. The kiss was deep and passionate, making up for lost time.

They pulled back with their foreheads pressing against each other. Y/N cupped Chris' cheek as she looked deep into his ocean blue eyes. Chris' grip tightened on her waist, too scared to let her go.

"Where do we go from here?" She whispered against his lips.

"Hey." A soft voice pulled Chris out of his memory. He turned around to see Y/N walking towards him in his shirt. "What are you doing up, babe? It's late."

Chris sighed and wrapped his arms around Y/N's waist, pulling her closer to his chest. "Horrible nightmare. I couldn't sleep," he buried his face at the crook of her neck.

"Aww, babe," she cooed as she ran her fingers through his soft hair. Her other hand slowly ran up and down his back, trying to soothe him. "Wanna talk about it?"

He shook his head. "No. I rather focus on right now, my reality, because it's so much better." He licked his lips before gently and softly peppered her neck with soft kisses. His lips trailed up to her jaw before capturing her lips for a deep and passionate kiss. His hands moved down to her butt. He gave it a gentle squeeze before he grabbed her butt firmly as she jumped and wrapped her legs around his hips.

"I love you, so much," he said in between kisses.

She pulled back to look at him. With her left hand, she pushed his hair back, taking in every one of his features for the millionth time. She loved the way his blue eyes sparked and the way they looked when he was in awe with her every time his eyes locked with hers. Her fingertips traced his well structured jaw, his beard tickling her in the process. She smiled at him as she rested her hand above his heart. She felt it thundering against his bare chest. Her smile grew wider as she stared at the silver wedding band on her wedding finger.

Her eyes flickered up, "are you sure you're not nervous about tomorrow?"

"No. I'm ready. I'm actually very excited. Are you nervous?"

"A little bit," she admitted with a smile. "But I'm more excited. We're flying out to pick up a baby. Our baby."

Chris' eyes welled up as the day had finally arrived after years of going through the long and hard process of adopting.

"I love you, so damn much," he said.

"I love you too," she whispered against his lips before she kissed him.

[purplesurveys]

1264

Who are you subscribed to on YouTube?  Oh man, I’m probably subscribed to over a hundred, if not 200. I’ve subscribed to channels relevant to interests I’ve had over the years, and since it’s not my habit to do spring cleaning on my feeds, the subscriptions have just keep piling up even if I no longer keep up with literally like 98% of them.

Do you like to go to the farmer's market?  I don’t think I’ve ever been in one yet. They aren’t very common here and the ones we do have are pricey and mostly inaccessible to the everyday consumer, I’m sure.

What will (or was) the color of your wedding dress be?  I wouldn’t want any other color than white.

What's your favorite melon?  I don’t like fruits.

What was the name of the last pet of yours that died?  Arlee. Technically my family mostly considered her as just Nina’s pet, but the sting was felt all the same when we learned she died.

When was the last time you wished the day would just get over with?  Yesterday, because it was Friday. Pretty self-explanatory, I wanted to get to the weekend so I can finally let go of work for a couple of days.

Name one person you've never had a fight with:  Andi. I think we’re both afraid of pissing the other off, which works out for us lol.

What are you currently listening to?  I can just hear the really loud whirring of my electric fan because it’s a grossly humid day today.

What would you rather have: cat or dog?  Dogs.

Who is your least favorite person in real life?  I have a lot of uncles I just don’t like.

Do you ever watch anybody's live stream of... anything, really?  Technically, yeah. I will sometimes tune in to livestreams of lofi music on YouTube, but I do it to listen, not to watch. 

Does your house have security cameras?  No.

If you go grey as you age, would you dye your hair or let it be?  I think I might dye it for a certain period of time, but I also think I would eventually reach the point where I’ll just accept it and slowly let go of the dye.

What was the last establishment you stopped going to due to bad service? What happened?  I haven’t run into much bad service, but I’ll never forget how long my order and bill took for Mad Mark’s. I never really vowed per se to never go back there again and I definitely didn’t confront the staff, but I haven’t eaten there since that incident.

What soundtrack do you listen to the most?  Not a big soundtrack listener.

Was there a family secret you weren’t told about until you were an adult?  Nah, they’re kept from us until now. The biggest one I’ve heard about was having a kleptomaniac in the family but we were never told who it is.

Do you have an opinion most people you meet seem to disagree with you?  Yeah, my dislike for fruits.

What’s something you like to have many options to choose from?  Clothes, I guess, like bucket hats. I don’t shop a lot and clothes aren’t a priority in my budget, so when I do pick out clothes, it has to be exactly what I want so that I don’t feel it was a waste of money.

What’s the strangest decorative object you own?  We have several quirky, disconnected decor in the living room from gifts we’ve acquired over the years. One object I can tell you about is the polar bear glass figurine we have on the coffee table.

What’s a thing you couldn’t imagine doing with your life right now?  Dating around.

What’s been your proudest moment?  Managing to stay alive this year and turn my life around for the better when I thought there was no hope.

What’s the filthiest non-pornographic movie you’ve seen?  Eyes Wide Shut, probably.

Do you know anyone who doesn't seem to be fond of animals?  I don’t think so. Like any animal...? I would find that quite odd, honestly. And I wouldn’t want to be friends with them if we weren’t already close .

Are you planning any outings or trips anytime soon? Whereabouts?  No, nothing set in stone. I do want to fly out to South Korea soon, though.

Do you know anyone who has a phobia of a certain animal?  I know a few people who are afraid of dogs.

Is there a particular brand of technology/electronics that you prefer?  Yeah, Apple.

Is there a singer whose voice gives you goosebumps/chills?  Hayley Williams and Jin, especially when he’s belting; and I don’t listen to her much, but I find that Billie Eilish has a unique voice that sounds really nice.

And is there a singer whose voice you simply can't stand?  Selena Gomez for some of her songs, Meghan Trainor for most of her songs.

Are there any authors that are particularly dominant on your bookshelf?  No.

Have you seen any photographs or videos that made you smile today?  Sure.

Which item in your fridge are you most looking forward to consuming? My aunt sent over this gigantic-ass slab of salmon that I can’t wait to eat as sashimi. I already had a few pieces last night and it was hea ven ly.

Has anyone you know got into a new relationship lately?  Hmm, I don’t think so. I know my coworker Dev got into a relationship a few weeks ago but it fizzled out as soon as it started because the guy was shitty.

If you menstruate, do you experience much PMS prior to it?  Only on the emotional side; I rarely get physical symptoms. I usually feel down or emotionally heavy a few days before my period.

Have you ever had a tattoo covered up or added to?  No, I don’t have any tattoos. Can you remember the last time you had a sudden change of mind?  Hmm, like last night. I wanted to stay up to maximize the weekend, buuuut I decided against it and slept instead since I had been up since 2 in the morning.

When was the last time you did something on a whim?  Two weeks ago when I impulsively dropped a thousand bucks to have cheese tarts delivered to Angela and Reena, hahaha.

Were you raised by both of your parents? If not, then who raised you?  My mom, grandma, and one of my aunts were the main people who raised me. Dad works overseas, so he was never at home much.

Have you ever began a relationship with someone you knew for less than a week?  No, I wouldn’t do that.

Has one of your friends ever tried to ‘hook you up?’  Mik tried to pair me with one of his friends just days before I finally implied on social media that I was no longer in a relationship. It was a cool ego boost but I declined, since my emotions were still super turbulent then. Andi tried to initiate sex with me once too, but I also declined.

What is your card game of choice?  I hate card games; I can never seem to understand them lmao, though that’s really more of a me problem than anything else.

What is your favourite books series?  Growing up, I really loved the Septimus Heap series. But the thing about it was that I got into it while the series was still ongoing; and with how bad my attention span is, I always forgot the events/plot whenever the newest book came out. 

So whenever that happened I had to read the entire series from Book 1; eventually the number of books I had to reread/revisit became too many (it was a seven-part series) and I simply just lost the time to read and I never got to know about the conclusion.

Do you prefer landmarks or street names when being given directions?  Street names – more precise. Landmarks to me can be pretty subjective – a green building might look blue to me, and I could just end up being lost.

Do you read the prologues in the beginnings of books?  Sure.

What was your favourite gym class moment?  If I genuinely like or already play the sport that was being taught. That’s why PE table tennis was a lot of fun for me.

Do you think that ocean boardwalks are fun?  I’ve never been on one but I imagine they are fun, yeah.

Do you dread when people ask you to sign their yearbooks?  That’s not a tradition here.

Do you have a favourite Scooby-Doo movie?  No. I was too young for Scooby-Doo in a sense that I do remember watching the movies as a 3/4 year old as they were kept on in the background at home, but I didn’t get any of the plots/didn’t really appreciate the films.

Do you think it’s cute when toddlers try to run away and fall down?  Sometimes, yeah. If the fall looked nasty I would obviously be concerned.

Do you enjoy listening to your grandparents tell stories of their past?  Honestly, only one of my grandparents would be the type to do this but he’s been dead for six years now. It’s a big shame he passed before I could bond with him the way I had always wanted to. My three other grandparents are either too closed off or too quiet to share stories from their youth.

Do you have a crush on someone? Nah, nothing more than a celebrity crush.

If so... what does his/her name begin with? 

What attracts you to them? 

Do they know that you like them? 

If they don't know, why didn't you tell them? 

Name two people that you miss:  Angela and Laurice.

Have you ever seen Titanic?  More times than I can count. I’m sure I memorize like 80% of the script, too.

Have you ever swam with dolphins?  No. I’m not so sure if I’ve seen dolphins, either. Maybe I have? Or maybe I’m confusing it with whales...idrk.

When was the last time you had a stomachache?  Wednesday.

What's going to bed early for you?  11 PM or midnight.

Do you want to have a big family in the future?  I used to, but I don’t think that’s the future I want anymore. One or two kids should be okay.

What was the last thing you did that gave you a rush?  Technically speaking, an orgasm, I guess?? Lmao idk

Favorite Nicholas Cage movie?  I don’t think I have one.

Have you had your Covid vaccine yet? Which one, if you have?  Yeah, I’m fully dosed. Sinovac.

If you've had your vaccine, did you experience any side effects?  I was suuuuuuper tired right after my first dose and I wanted to be knocked the fuck out, but I went right back to work after the shot because I am allergic to filing leaves hahaha. Second dose went smoothly.

What's the next item of clothing that you intend to buy for yourself?  A bucket hat or maybe one of the Fila x BTS shirts because the collection is actually quite cute!

What Facebook groups have you found the most helpful?  I join Facebook groups to be entertained, not because I actively look for advice.

Do you like your butt? Why or why not?  Yeah. It...has a good form hahahahahaha.

Have you ever personally been a victim of homophobia?  Yes, a few years ago I went to a food park with my ex-girlfriend. I was already not feeling my best that day to begin with, so having to see an old woman stare daggers at us for what felt like years really stung. I felt small under her look and almost cried, but in the end I felt angry that I momentarily felt shame about my relationship. I decided to just piss the woman off on purpose and do PDA right in front of her.

Do you think you’d be happier if you had a pet? I have two dogs at present and I know they make me extremely happy.

Who was the last person you went on a date with?  Gabie.

Were you ever hospitalized as a little kid?  No. The first and only time I was hospitalized (other than being birthed), I was about 12, I think.

What’s your favorite way to curl your hair?  I don’t do that. I rarely style my hair.

At what age did you start swearing?  I was 11.

What is something you physically can’t do?  Ride a bike.

What do like better, apples or oranges?  I don’t like any fruits; but in terms of flavored stuff, I like orange-flavored food, especially chewy candy, slightly more.

Around the holidays, do you hope for snow?  Well, no.

What are your top two favorite bands?  Paramore and Against Me!

How many people do you 100% trust?  There are a handful. I generally trust easily just because I like to believe all people are kind and loyal – but I can also take it away in the snap of a finger.

Do you care what others think about you?  Not so much.

Has anyone ever called you a bitch?  Sure.

Did you watch Teletubbies when you were younger?  Yeah but just super super faint memories. It wasn’t one of my main shows.

Do you have any licenses other than your driver's license?  I don’t.

Could you live the rest of your life without eating meat?  I doubt it. I could try, but I think I’d get cranky and start looking for meat way earlier than I would like to admit.

Have you ever had a rolling backpack?  Yup, if you mean a stroller. I think I’ve answered this on a previous survey.

Did you make any money today?  No, because it’s a weekend. What was the highest place you've ever jumped from?  Nothing dramatically high. I’ve had acrophobia-themed nightmares in the past, so even though I don’t actually have a fear of heights, the idea of jumping from a high place still makes me antsy.

Have you ever gone swimming in a river?  Not that I can recall.

What was the last souvenir someone got you?  I dunno if it counts but Andi bought merch from the AEW shop but made sure to also get a CM Punk sticker set for me :(

Do you have a favorite remix of a song?  Remixes have never been my thing. What do you think is the most saddest sounding instrument?  Piano.

Do you really pay attention to the ratings on movies?  Yeah they can definitely affect the level of appreciation I hold towards a film. For instance, if I genuinely enjoyed a movie only to find out it has average to bad reviews, it invites me to think more critically about the movie.

Do you have a favorite species of wild cat (tiger/lion/cougar/etc.)?  No.

If you had $500,000, what would you do with it?  Give half to my parents and let them do whatever they wish it. With the remaining P12,500,000, I’d probably get myself my own condo and have it fully furnished, then get braces, then get a new phone and laptop. I’ll have a bunch of money still left, I’m pretty sure – the rest of it I’ll save.

Did the last person you touched lips with have a kid?  No. I mean, I have honestly no clue what’s going on in her life now, but I know she doesn’t want kids so this is very unlikely.

"First loves are never really over." Is this true for you?  It’s true in a sense that she left me a lot of trauma and self-esteem issues that will irrevocably always be a part of me now even though I’ve worked hard to resolved most of them by myself.

Did you like Michael Jackson before he died?  Yes, because he has always been my favorite singer’s role model.

What are some things that would make you break up with someone?  I don’t know how to answer this question, honestly. All the red flags were thrown and tossed and slapped into my face and down my throat for six years yet I never left. I don’t actually know what my limits are, and I believe it’s because my coping mechanism has to just accept things and suck them up no matter how bad they get. That’s what I’m trying to change for myself now.

What was the worst breakup you've ever had?  I’ve had two breakups with the same person, and the second one was worse.

[originalwinnercheesecake]

Top 5 relationships in The Mortal Instruments

Lets be real the shadowhunter chronicles has grown into a huge world world with more characters than could ever all stay in one in any one institute (and remember institutes are for some reason designed to accommodate the same number as nice hotels) and because so many of them interact we have had some pretty cool characters and some pretty great relationships. I thought I would make ranking lists ranking the my personal favorites for members of family as well relationships in each series. IMPORTANT: When I say “relationships” I am not being specific to any one type of relationship (romantic/family/friend). I just mean two characters who share a type of bond.

Since The Mortal Instruments or TMI, came out first I will start with it. 5 relationships in TMI who have really well done dynamic’s and I want to take this opportunity to spotlight them below

5.) Jace & Church

Aww Church, he was doing the grumpy cat act before it was cool. Everybody loves Church. Church loves Jem and likes exactly one person per series/generation. In TMI the one person Church likes is Jace. Now other instances you could argue that Church liking Jace is just another attempt of CC to enforce that Jace (mr. blond hair, gold eyes, gold skin, takes a bath in golden spaghetti) is the golden boy and everybody should like him. But once you look at who Jace and Church are as characters (what character Jace has that's not referenced by his aforementioned coloring) them being buddies makes a lot of sense. For one thing we know from the falcon story that Jace is fond of animals that have adittutes, which Church certainly does. The first time he made friends with such an animal Valentine... But Valentine is gone when Jace meets Church, and none of the Lightwoods mind if Jace wants to goof off with the cat (to them that’s probably one of the least reckless things Jace likes to do). So for Jace Church is in essence a way to reclaim part of his childhood that Valentine tried to twist and corrupt.

On the other side I love how respectful Jace is of Church’s boundaries. Guys Church has a past as extensive and hard as any other character in TSC. HE has been both a pet and a wild cat many times over, he ha been treated well by some humans, and horribly by others. This is no purring kitty-cat that is going  to just climb into someones lap wanting hands run through his fur or to be picked up and carried around. No Church doesn’t like that. Jace understands this, and never tries to force Church to let him handle him. IF Church wants Jace to touch him he will take the initiative and walk up to Jace’s leg. If not Jace is perfectly happy to hang out in a room or follow the cat at a distance, pretending to chat with him. I saw a post that said that even after Church got reunited with Jem (churches OTH) Church still considers Jace his buddy and they hang out during visits, that is precious.

4.) Alec and Magnus aka Malec

Aww Here they are, fandom darlings and CC’s poster couple for LGBT+ inclusion. I promise that is not why I put them on this list. I actually never give characters or couples brownie points for being same sex or anything like that because so many writers try to get away with making “Gay” a characters whole personalty or squeezing in characters for the sole purpose of saying “look inclusion, look I can be woke” and then they don’t consider it necessary to put the level of characterization they would into a straight character in. I do like inclusion and feel it is important, but only when it is fully developed to the best of a creators abilities.

Now I will admit here that Malec are only my second favorite romantic couple in TMI. That being said I do really like them. I like the pace that their relationship develops at. When other couples did the whole love at first sight or suddenly inexplicably in love. Malec moved at what I consider a pretty realistic pace and you could easily follow their journey. In book 1 they met at a party and decided the other was pretty cute, started to spend time together on occasions, started to like each other, then started to really like each other. It’s  not until  the very end of book 6 where you fee like the two are really committed to the whole “Okay it’s you and me till the end” idea, and you are glad to finally see them there.

That brings me to my second reason for liking Malec. They are a hot mess, as all three main couples are, but unlike with the other two Malec never pretended to be anything other than a hot mess. If I compared Malec to Clace i would say that Clace follow a pretty typical fairy tale formula: I met you and I loved you, then the evils in the world conspired to keep us apart, but I fought my way back to you and now we can live happily ever after. Malec aren’t like a fairy tale though. They are that high-school/early college couple who are consistently on and off. The rocks in their path aren’t “evil forces” it’s just them. Just the fact that they both have a tendency to be whinny, stupid, jealous, controlling, a!@#$”s to each other. Honestly if they didn’t care so much about each other, then they would be a really toxic couple. But they do care a lot about each other. They hated when they were always fighting. They hated seeing each other so sad. But they couldn’t just forget about their problems or pretend them away. So many times throughout TMI Malec would find themselves at a cross road where on one path they force themselves to change and see if that made their relationship better , and another path were they decide that it is just to much to and call it quits. They broke up twice because they got to times where it was just to much to keep going the way they were and neither were ready to change. But then they couldn’t stop thinking about the other or missing the other. So, when they met up again they would always reconcile and be ready to put in the work to change their relationship for the better.  Looks like those changes worked out given that years down the line we see then happy, married with two kids, happy at their jobs, hosting social gathering with their friends as apposed to before when they would always spend then picking at each other or having an outright fight.

Malec are not perfect, TMI never pretends they are. They are both a lot to deal with and at least a few times one of them will slam their hands down on some surface, and I as a reader found myself wishing I could bring my hands down on the pair of thems heads. But I consider Malec a pretty gritty look at what any couple can be like at their lows, as well as the highs they can reach if they are willing to put in the time and work, and exactly why some are willing.

3.) Maia and Bat

What? What was that? If Malec are only my second favorite couple in TMI then who is my favorite? Oh, it’s Baia. Baia is like literally the perfect couple. They met years ago became best friends, tried dating and went back to being best friends when Maia-who had just gotten out of an abusive relationship and was still recovering- told Bat that was all she could handle. Their friendship is shown in the background throughout books 2-5 and we see that they always have each others backs. We see Bat is always their for Maia, always trying to take her out as a friend and convince her to have fun. Maia supports Bat’s DJ career and talks about how much she admires him for perusing such a normal mundane life because (regardless of the fact that they aren’t normal mundanes) its what he wants. Their relationship is brought to more of a focus in book 6 when shadowhunters leave, demons attack and their fellow downworlder start staging uprisings. Both of these two are still so young, and now (with their Alpha away indefinitely) their whole world is falling apart. Fixing this isn’t their job, no one has tasked them with it, but its the only way to keep themselves, each other, and everything they love safe. SO they make the choice to take action. Like everything in their lives since they met, they make a point to always support each other. Bat challenges an aggressive wolf for control of the pack because he has sen this wolf go bully those close to Luke and is determined to protect Maia. When Bat goes down in the fight Maia tags herself in and fights to protect him. When Maia wins she wakes up Bat isn’t upset or embarrassed that she had to save him, He immediately throws support to her as his Alpha. One of Maia’s first act is to make Bat her Beta because they are a team and their is no one she trusts more. They rebuild their pack and the Predator Lupis together, and also get back together. But that is less important because no matter what their relationship they have always and will always be there. 

Seriously when every other couple acted stupid, was over dramatic, were never sure where they stood with each other; Maia and Bat were true friends, true love, and unwavering in their support. So what keeps them from being number 1 on this list? Well were still a background relatonship for most of TMI (a lot of the fandom either didn’t remember or didn’t care that they got together at the end or that they were even friends). Also knowing CC and general media aimed at TMI’s age group I have to unfortunately believe that if CC had wanted to bring more focus onto Maia and Bat,then she would have made them way more dramatic and less awesomely supportive. Moving on

2.) Valentine and Luke

I can hear the gasps from here. No, not read that wrong, it really says Valentine and Luke. How could I talk just get praising a supportive pair only to go and talk about a pair that betrayed and tried to annihilate the other? Well for one thing I will remind you Valentine and Luke whole dynamic is friends to enemies. As that they really work. Luke never had what it takes to be a shadowhunter on his own. He says himself that he couldn’t bear easy marks, he couldn’t do simple training exercises, he was miserable and ready to just drop out and give up. Then Valentine “came into my room and offered to train me”.  Even in the future Luke says that in their first interactions that Valentine saved him. That he is the one who made Luke into a shadowhunter. Well truth be told Valentine made Luke more of an assistant Shadowhunter, to him, but it is still farther than Luke was getting on his own, and its completely genuine when he says he loved and worshiped Valentine. You see why he was so blind to what Valentine (Stop trying to pretend you were always in the right Lucian) what both of them were becoming. Valentine gave Luke a life as a shadowhunter, and then he took it away. Valentine thought he was covering himself, that he was getting rid of a doubtful ally before he had a chance to become an enemy.

Getting Luke turned into a werewolf was easily the biggest mistake of Valentine’s life. Shadowhunter Luke was never able to do anymore than listen to Valentines orders and carry them out with no thought but how much doing so would please Valentine (Shadowhunter Luke= Valentines pet lap dog.) Werewolf Luke could say no. He could fight Valentine to a stand still at least, beat him at best. Werewolf Luke had knowledge and insight as to the needs of both Downworlders and Shadowhunters, and used that knowledge paired with Valentine’s impediment threats to rally the downworlders and get them to force the clave to give up 4 seats on the council. Because of Luke Valentines war caused Downworlders to get more rights instead of less. (Shadowhunter Luke=Valentines pet lap dog. Werewolf Luke= has more brains and skill than Valentine) Valentine thought he was getting rid of a potential threat when he had Luke turned; instead he gave his strongest supporter the push needed to break away from him, and the motivation to take become the man who had enough power to foil all his plans. That their is Irony at its finest my friends. I love it.

And Now 1.) Jace and Simon

This is hands down the best relationship in TMI and should I ever make a top 5 relationships This one will definitely be in it. How can they not when they are literary the TSC equivalent of Batman and Superman. (I mean that quite literally by the way. Jace is Batman: A hero who lived a life of pain and loss and used that as a motivation to protect people and prevent harm. Simon is Superman: A hero who wasn’t born into this world, these people weren’t always his people, but he decided that this was his home now and he was going to make it a better place.) There are so many things I love about these two I love how well their relationship was paced in how as they got to know each other more they transitioned from enemies to rivals to friends to family. I love their banter. these two together make me laugh more than any other pair. The number one thing I love about Jace and Simon is how careful CC was to keep them standing on Equal ground.

I meant they weren’t equal when it came to who had Clary’s affections. No Jace won that battle the moment Clary ditched simon, who was in the process of asking her out, to go find out who Jace was and what he was doing at the club. But lets look at virtually every other factor. Both are young men only 16 who have suffered the loss of a loved one before and are fiercely loyal and protective of the ones they have left. Neither are always sure who they can trust. In book 1 Jace is introduced s having vanquished more demons than anyone else in their age group, Before the end of Book 1 Simon is revealed to be skilled in archery and uses that skill to vanquish an incredibly dangerous Greater Demon. In book 2 Simon dies then is brought back from the dead to rise again, Jace does the same, through admittingly different methods, one book later. Jace is from a powerful race of hunters (shadowhunters), lets make Simon a member of a another powerful race of hunters (vampires and then Shadowhunters). Oh it looks like Jace has extra gifts his blood is special. Jace gives Simon his blood and Simon now has extra gifts to. Both of them have been hunted over their gifts, both have tried to help and protect the other. Jace giving Simon that Blood was a huge sacrifice and then he sacrificed for him again by admitting what he did to Valentine, knowing it will anger Valentine and could cause him to lose love for Jace. So in the second half of the series Simon starts Sacrificing for Jace. He gives up not only the mark of Chain which protected him from harm, but also a beloved memory connecting him to his own late father. Jace showed Simon a lot of the Shadoworld, and Simon returned that by teaching Jace aspects of mundane life. He told him pop culture references, let him stay with him in his apartment, taught him to play video games, and even took him grocery shopping. (Ask me why Jace seems more human when he is with Simon yet more like a fantasy man with Clary)

After reading Tales From The Shadowhunting Academy I will say that Jace was the ONLY one of the TMI gang who deserved to get Simon back. He is the only one who ever seemed to think about how Simon must be feeling or made any effort to be there for him. Alec and Magnus ignored Simon and acted like they didn’t care that he was back, while Isabelle and Clary were both incredibly selfish and only seemed to think of themselves. They actually had the audacity to blame Simon for not remembering them, and make him feel more like crap for not being able to just walk back into a life they knew he couldn’t remember, knowing that he sacrificed his memories to save THEIR lives. Clary Isabelle I am so disappointed in you ladies. Jace you are doing great.

Ending this to anyone wondering if at this point if I ship Jimon; Yes. I think they would have made an awesome couple. I also think they are awesome as friends and brothers in law. Any way you slice it Jimon is top tear writing

This has been my top 5 TMI relationships. I will do a TID top 5 when I either learn how to make these smaller, or have the time to do one this long again. Heads up it will probably be the second one.

[mayquita]

Damn You For Making Me Love You (2/15) - Because The Night

I must admit that, in the beginning, I was a little nervous with this story perhaps for being too simple or for not having an especially deep plot. But sometimes we feel the need to write or read something lighter, something that makes us smile and I really enjoyed building the characters and the different connections between them. Thank you so so much, for your likes, reblogs, kudos and comments. It means the world to me.

Beta-Reader: Thank you so much, @ultraluckycatnd​ I couldn’t have asked for a better beta. Thank you for all your effort, your suggestions, your advice and for always being there when I needed you.

Special mention to @saraswans and @onceuponaprincessworld​, thank you so much for your perpetual support and for believing in me and in the story. Thank you again to the moderators of the event, @captainswanbigbang​ for giving us this opportunity and making this possible. You all are the best :)

Summary: Emma Swan and Killian Jones are close friends and co-workers. And both are in love with each other. The problem? They keep their feelings secret not only to the other but also to the rest of their friends. When Elsa, Emma’s best friend and Liam, Killian’s brother and Emma’s boss find out, they decide to form an alliance and work as a team with a clear goal, to get Emma and Killian to take the next step in their relationship and confess their love for each other.

Rating: M

Word count: ~ 6100 (98k total in 15 chapters)

Also:  Prologue (tumblr) —  From the beginning Ao3 / FFnet  — Current chapter: Ao3 / FFnet

About this chapter: It's the turn of Liam's pov, both in the flashback, where we'll know a bit more about Emma's first months working on The Kraken, and in the present, where we'll see Liam's first attempt to push them together. Also, I forgot to point it, but as you may have figured out, music plays an important role in this story. I hope you like it :)

//

Chapter 1 - Because The Night

Liam - Four years ago

"Do you ever use the stage?"

Liam stopped for a moment in his task of ordering glasses and looked first at Emma and then at the stage. "We may have used it a couple of times," he said, shrugging before continuing with his task.

He wouldn't be surprised if Emma was up to something. That had been her constant since she had started working at The Kraken four months ago, after all.

Liam's lips pressed together forming a small smile when he remembered how different their situation had been before Emma. He had been about to give up on the bar. Although Liam had put all his effort and all his savings into the project, the income was insufficient, and the customers were scarce. It was then that his brother had suggested that he could hire someone to help them advertise the place and get more customers. And that's how Emma had come into their lives.

Her steps had been hesitant at first, but she had only needed a week to get in position and adapt her small budget to develop possible strategies that would allow them to boost the business.

From there she had become a whirlwind, turning both their lives and the business upside down. She was a tough woman, stubborn and determined to achieve her goals. But she was also very creative.

She had only needed three weeks to create the official website and all of the accounts for the different social media platforms. Four months later, the clientele had increased and the number of followers kept rising.

The introduction to social media was the first of a myriad of ideas that were coming from Emma’s brilliant mind. She had started organizing monthly theme parties, and she also spent entire nights camera-in-hand taking photographs of the crowd that she later uploaded to the website as a claim. And not only that, she was the first to stand behind the bar ready to serve drinks and to engage in conversations with the crowd. That's how Emma Swan became The Savior of The Kraken in such a short space of time.

"Stage? What stage, Swan? Are you talking about the stern of the ship?"

"Why the stern and not the bow?"

"Because the bow is the entrance to the bar, obviously. I didn't know you had so much knowledge about nautical terms, love."

"I have no choice if I wanted to prevent your ship from sinking." A chuckle bubbled in Liam's throat when he saw Emma placing air quotes around the word ship while Killian rolled his eyes in response.

These kinds of conversations had also become a constant with Emma's presence in their lives. Normally it was Killian who teased Emma first but she always rushed to answer with a biting retort.

"Guys, you realize that this is actually a bar, don't you?" Their reaction was immediate, both of them snapped their heads towards Liam, as if they realized at that moment that he was also there.

"Are you sure, Captain?" This time it was Killian who used air quotes around the word captain while raising one of his eyebrows. "Because I tend to forget it sometimes."

Emma snorted as she shook her head while Killian focused his attention on her again, his lips drawing a smirk as they both shared knowing glances.

Despite the brief distraction, Liam was still curious to know what Emma was up to, so he tried to redirect the conversation. "May I ask why there’s a sudden interest in our stern, I mean, stage?"

The change in Emma's expression was immediate. A few seconds before, her features were carefree, but now a special glow had appeared, a spark that meant business. He had learned to love that expression because it usually implied a guaranteed route to success.

"I wonder why you built that stage if you don't use it. It's a waste of possibilities."

"Well, to be honest, the stage already existed when we acquired the place," Liam admitted, realizing that Emma was right. Killian was the only one who used it in his spare time to practice his hobbies: singing and playing the guitar. "We didn't know quite well what to do with it."

"Fortunately for you, I'm here to fix that, right?" Emma looked back at the stage and then at Killian, the hint of a grin pulling at her lips.

"What are you thinking, Swan?" Killian asked tentatively.

"I'm thinking of you, of course."

Killian's eyes widened in surprise, a soft blush tinting his cheeks. "Me?" If Liam hadn't been so surprised himself, he would have laughed at his brother's puzzled expression.

“I mean, I've heard you sing and you have talent." Emma's voice came in a somewhat more timid tone than usual, her cheeks blushing slightly, but she immediately adopted her characteristic professional expression. "Besides... we should take advantage of your good looks to attract the public."

She had a point. Killian had always loved to sing. His natural talent was undeniable, but the circumstances of life had not allowed him to go further in his passion. Still, Liam felt a certain pull of disappointment with himself because he should have been the one with that idea. He had all the resources at his disposal, how was it possible that this possibility had never crossed his mind?

"So I look good for you, eh Swan?" Killian's voice took him out of his momentary trance. He remained silent, though, leaning his arms on the counter and resting his chin in one of his hands while watching the scene in front of him with amusement.

Killian wore his characteristic smug expression with an arched eyebrow as he ran his tongue over his lips. Emma, of course, wasn't buying it, as she simply snorted and crossed her arms over her chest. 

They were like children.

They had been playing this game from the beginning, with that innocent flirting between the two of them, with some veiled innuendo mixed with banter. Liam was sure that things were not going to go beyond a simple game, since Killian had his heart closed off and, although they still didn't know much about Emma, it seemed that she also carried some wounds from her past.

Even so, it was fun to see how they teased each other. Emma was one of the few people who could make his brother blush. In return, he was the only one so far who had managed to get through her professional facade.

"I knew I would regret it," Emma grumbled while rolling her eyes. "Did you miss the fact that I am suggesting you go on stage to sing? With an audience?"

"Oh, I got that, but I prefer to focus on the other part. How was it? My good looks, were you saying?" Killian swayed forward, invading her personal space as he tucked his thumb into his belt. Liam huffed quietly with such an exaggerated display of cockiness, but he remained a silent witness, expectant of Emma's reaction.

She did not disappoint. "Not happening, buddy. I'm not going to feed your ego even more," Emma replied with a dismissive wave of her hand and then turned away from Killian, leaving his brother behind wearing a goofy smile. She dropped onto one of the stools while snorting in annoyance, but Liam did not miss the small smile that appeared on her lips.

"I think it's a magnificent idea, Emma. Smart thinking," he praised her while offering a smile of appreciation. "I also think you'll like to know that we have a sound system and even some strobe lights. So you can remove those items from our limited budget."

"Really? That's great!" Her face lit up, a special spark crossing her gaze.

Liam could not prevent his heart from swelling, feeling proud of himself for finally being able to contribute something to boost his own business. "Let me finish here and then we could go to the backroom to see if we find something useful for our purposes," Liam suggested through a wide smile. 

A sudden wave of gratitude towards Emma washed over him, since he was more aware than ever that there was light at the end of the tunnel, and that they were going to save The Kraken. And they would owe it all to her. Well, to her and to his brother's musical ability, of course.

Emma hummed in response, her eyebrows furrowed in thought. It was evident from her expression that her brain had already begun to work on the idea. "Now we just have to think about the repertoire and start the rehearsals. We could use some slogan to advertise the event on social media, something like “Saturdays in Concert” or something like that. And... "

"I think you forgot the most important thing." Killian’s unexpected voice cut her off. They both looked at him, who stood a few steps away, sporting a wide grin. "The artist."

He was right. For the plan to go well, they depended largely on his brother's willingness to participate. Kilian's expression denoted that he shouldn't worry about that, but Liam was curious to know what his brother thought. "And what would the artist have to say about it?" 

Before answering, Killian raised his eyebrows and rubbed his hands together. 

"When do we start?"

//

Liam - November 2019

It was a quiet afternoon, the usual for a day at the end of November. The calm before the storm that meant the beginning of the holiday season. Liam was in his usual corner behind the bar, doing the inventory. His brother was standing on the platform they used as a stage, guitar in hand, while he rehearsed the songs he would play four nights later. Emma, in turn, sat on her favorite stool, her laptop on the counter, staring at the screen and editing the photos taken over the previous weekend. Liam had offered her his office several times, claiming that she would be more comfortable there, with a desk at her disposal and a more suitable chair. But Emma had always refused; she preferred to be at the center of the activity.

The scene he had in front of his eyes was something he was accustomed to, something that was part of his routine. He couldn’t be more grateful for it. Both Killian and Emma worked hard at the bar, fully involved in the business, providing ideas, serving every night, cleaning up the mess after the most chaotic nights. But thanks to The Kraken they could also carry out their passions, at least in some way.

Killian lived for Saturday nights when he took the stage and became the musician he had always dreamed of.

And Emma... Emma. She had become their savior angel almost from the very moment she walked through that door four years ago. The corners of his lips lifted in a soft smile as the memory of that day came to his mind. Much had happened since that first day, but since then, she had become a constant both in the bar as well as in their lives. He couldn't be more grateful for it.

Here she was, one more day, doing her magic with the photographs she had taken. This time, however, Liam noticed something else. She was humming the same song Killian was playing.

Since Killian had made that half-confession about his feelings for Emma, Liam had been much more perceptive, focusing on things he hadn’t noticed before.

How could he have been so blind? Killian wore his friend mask to perfection, but his attraction to her was undeniable. Now Liam was fully aware of his stolen glances when he thought she wasn’t looking, the accidental contact of their bodies, the longing smile on his lips every time Emma arrived. 

Looking back, Liam had realized that all the signals had been there from the very beginning, but he hadn’t been able to detect them or interpret them correctly. Everything made sense now, though; that easy flirting between them that had appeared from almost the first moment, their banter, the teasing. 

He also could swear that Emma acted exactly the same, but of course, he didn’t have confirmation of her feelings. Maybe…

"Hey, guys! We got new comments on the web, come on! Let's have some fun." Emma's excited voice brought Liam back to the present. She was making a gesture with her hand for them to approach. This had become another of their routines. Each time they got new comments, they read them together. Emma called it constructive criticism. The Jones brothers, however, found it to be the perfect excuse to make fun of themselves and have a laugh.

They, of course, hurried to approach her. Killian arrived at her side first, casually placing his hand on her shoulder. Emma raised her head to look into his brother’s eyes, a warm smile adorning her face. Liam didn’t miss a single detail of all these subtle movements, raising an eyebrow in appreciation. He stood on Emma's other side and the three of them stared at the screen.

"Oh my God, Liam, you’ve got a fan! Look, PrincessJones. She's written you three messages.”

I love The Kraken and one of the reasons is for its owner. He is so hot. @ PrincessJones

The best of The Kraken? The owner, his brother the musician and Emma, the PR person and also photographer. They are all very nice, but Liam, the owner, is even nicer. @ PrincessJones

  Although Killian, the musician, is hot, I find his older brother, Liam, much more interesting, perhaps because of his maturity. @ PrincessJones

Liam couldn’t stop a smirk from appearing on his face. His chest swelled with pride as he commented, "Well, it was about bloody time. You two always get all the good reviews."

"I guess you've noticed that your admirer just addressed you as an old man, right?" his brother teased Liam while making that characteristic gesture of his, his two eyebrows raised comically, a mocking smile pulling at his lips. 

"Killian!" Emma scolded him, tapping his chest with the back of her hand.

"Ouch, that hurt." Killian winced as he moved his hands to where Emma had hit him.

"Oh god, you're so melodramatic." Emma, of course, rolled her eyes, though her statement came between giggles, her smile making small wrinkles appear in the corners of her eyes.

The two of them continued their argument between jokes and casual contact of their hands, completely ignoring Liam’s presence, although that obviously didn’t matter to him in the least. After a few more seconds of watching the scene, Liam cleared his throat.

"Hi? I'm still here, remember?"

Killian and Emma turned their heads, two pairs of eyes staring at him for a few seconds, then they stared back at each other and burst out laughing. Liam shook his head as he rolled his eyes at the childlike behavior of the other two, but the corners of his lips pulled up into a wide grin.

"I'm glad to see someone appreciating my mature behavior. Someone has to behave like an adult here."

"You sure about that?" Emma looked back at the screen and began to check the contents of one of the photo folders. Within seconds, a few photos from last Saturday appeared before his eyes. "You mean this mature behavior?"

"Bloody hell," Liam grumbled, covering his eyes with one hand. He felt his cheeks burning, completely ashamed of what he was seeing. "When the hell did you take those photos? I had completely forgotten that moment."

The bloody photos had captured the moment when he and his brother exhibited a behavior that was far from that of responsible adults. Small glimpses of the scene flashed in his mind. The night had been a success and after the closing, they decided to celebrate by taking a few shots — well, maybe a lot of shots. The two brothers had ended up on the counter singing old Irish songs.

"I can see everything. You forget that I'm the eyes of this bar." Emma smirked at him as she pointed at her camera on the counter. "And the brain, too, of course."

Killian chuckled at her side, the bastard, but Liam chose to ignore him, focusing again on Emma. "Do not even think about uploading those photos to the web."

"Why not, brother? It would be an opportunity to show our customers that you are fun. Sometimes." Killian teased him again as he bumped his shoulder with Emma's, looking for her agreement with his statement. 

"I thought about it, but considering that my job is to attract new customers and not scare them, I decided to upload this photo instead. It seems that I got it right since it has gotten a lot of comments. You two are a success among the ladies. Well, and among some men." Emma opened a picture of the two of them, the Jones brothers. They were staring at the camera, Liam’s right arm around his brother's shoulders, wide smiles, and bright eyes.

"Great shot, Swan." Killian's voice dripped with ill-concealed pride.

After a few more jokes and compliments, the two brothers ended up leaving Emma's side, each heading to their previous spot. They continued to do their tasks for a few more minutes but Liam was interrupted again, this time by the buzz of his phone on the counter.

Hey Liam, how are you doing? I guess you're busy with all the preparations for the holidays. - Belle

A smile of affection tugged at the corners of his lips as he read Belle's message, his usual response whenever he had the opportunity to chat with her, even if it was only through messages. Both he and his brother considered Belle as part of their small family, almost like a little sister, so in the absence of being able to see each other more often, their conversations over text were quite frequent.

Hi lass, it's pretty quiet around here at the moment. How are you? - LJ

I'm fine, but I got a little nostalgic, thinking about our first Christmas together, when you had only been in the States for a few months, so I felt the need to chat with my two favorite brothers. - Belle

A wave of emotions washed over him as his heart tightened in his chest at the memory of that first Christmas away from home. It was the first one without his mother, in a country that was still strange to them. Their father was mostly absent, to the point that their neighbors, the Frenches, had taken pity on the boys and welcomed them into their home, thus allowing them to enjoy the Christmas spirit that would otherwise have been denied to them.

After letting out a deep breath, he shook those bittersweet thoughts away and focused back on Belle.

We built good memories together in spite of everything. Maybe we can continue building them. Any chance to come to visit us this year? - LJ

I fear it won't be possible this year. I've organized several storytelling activities in the library during the holidays. Maybe next year... Anyway, how is our bro progress going?? - Belle

Liam's smile widened as he read her reply. After Killian's confession two months ago, Belle had acted as his own confidant the next day so now there were at least two people who knew about Killian's feelings. He would never confess that fact to Killian, of course.

Progress? What progress? He flatly refuses to discuss the issue and seems resigned to stay in the friend-zone. It's a bit frustrating, tbh. - LJ

Maybe he just needs a little push to send him in the right direction, don't you think? - Belle

His eyes darted back to Emma, who remained focused on her photo editing task. Liam noticed that she had started humming again, quietly accompanying Killian's voice. As he listened to the lyrics of the song, an idea began to bubble in his head. An idea that he supposed might be that little push suggested by Belle.

I may have found the perfect idea for that, and I may put it into practice right now. Wish me luck, love. ;) Talk to you soon. - LJ

Yes! Keep me informed. Good luck ;P - Belle

"Hey, guys, I've been thinking." The words rushed out without him having time to evaluate the idea correctly. His brother was going to kill him, but Liam couldn’t help it. It was such a good opportunity that he couldn’t waste it.

Liam managed to catch the attention of both Emma and Killian. They turned their gazes upon him sporting the same expression of curiosity on their faces.

First goal achieved.

Here goes nothing... "I thought we could try something new." When he was sure he was still holding their attention, he threw the bombshell. "You two could do a duet next Saturday."

"A duet?" Emma's eyes narrowed as her head tilted slightly. "You mean to sing, together?"

"That's exactly what I mean."

"Sing on stage... next Saturday..." She gestured to the stage where Killian was standing. His brother remained silent, an indecipherable expression on his face.

"Yes, think of..." He couldn’t continue since Emma cut him off at that moment. It seemed that she had finally assimilated the information.

"Are you out of your mind?" Her voice rose in disbelief. She shook her head, pressing her lips together. "I haven’t been on stage in my entire life, and even less often have I sung in public. I would die of embarrassment," she said in a mortified tone.

Since Killian remained silent, as a mere witness to the scene, Liam decided to focus on Emma. He approached her, trying to shed as much enthusiasm as possible from his voice. Luckily, he knew how to make Emma react.

"Ignore that for a moment, let's focus on business. Killian would do his performance, but we could announce that there would be a surprise at the end, and that's when you’d make an appearance.” Liam kept the necessary emotion in his voice to make the idea even more appealing. "It would be like a special event due to Thanksgiving week. Do you think something like that could work?" 

While he held his breath waiting for her answer, he didn’t fail to notice that Emma's eyes slid subtly to where Killian was. She seemed to appreciate the idea for a few seconds, her eyebrows furrowed in thought. Then, she shrugged. "Yes, it could be a good advertising hook. A surprise performance always generates expectation, but we shouldn't forget that I don't know how to sing."

"That's not quite true, love. You know how to sing, and you do it well. You also know all the songs in Killian's repertoire. You were humming the song right now as he rehearsed."

"It's not the same… I’d be stuck in the middle of the stage, my voice would be trapped in my throat, or worse, I would be off pitch... Oh God, this is not a good idea... This is going to be a disaster..." She rubbed her hands together nervously. As she exposed everything that could go wrong, her features were showing more and more concern, her brow wrinkled, a glimpse of panic crossing her face. 

This was not going well; maybe he had gone too far. He almost felt sorry for the discomfort that he was causing Emma. All of this was just a stupid idea…

"Don’t underestimate yourself, love." Both Emma and Liam turned when they heard Killian's voice. Liam was pleasantly surprised, since he feared that Killian's silence didn’t bode well. His brother was staring at them, the guitar at his side, his arms folded across his chest. "You have a beautiful voice and we have time to rehearse. Everything will be fine," he continued in a calm voice, though his face was more serious than usual.

Liam noticed Emma's cheeks flushed slightly and her features relaxed a little. "How are you so sure everything will be fine?"

"Because I've yet to see you fail."

Emma's jaw dropped and her cheeks tinged with an even more intense red. Killian focused his gaze on her, completely ignoring his brother. Liam felt kind of like an intruder on the scene, but he couldn’t be happier about what was happening. "Still, don’t feel obligated to do it, Swan. Only if you feel comfortable enough for it. It's your decision, love."

Liam glanced sideways at his brother. He suspected that Killian would be angry with him for the possible hidden meaning of this idea. He’d have time to talk to him later when they got home. Killian kept his features impassive, but he could detect a special gleam in his gaze, perhaps hope that Emma would join him on stage and he would be able to spend time with her by using the excuse of working on the song. 

Maybe Killian would end up thanking him at the end of the day, after all.

"Why don't you give it a try?" Liam offered tentatively, as it seemed that Emma still remained reluctant. "No pressure, you can join Killian now and see how it works." He reached for Emma's hand to pull her toward the stage.

"What? Now?" Emma's eyes widened with a mixture of fear and embarrassment, but also with a hint of determination.

"We are alone, let's go!" Liam gestured toward the stage with his head as he tugged Emma a little more.

After a deep sigh, Emma murmured, “The things I do for The Kraken...” She shook her head before speaking again. "Okay, let’s do it. Think about how to repay me, okay?" Emma held her index finger up and raised her eyebrows in warning.

Second goal achieved: Emma was in.

"Of course, you just have to ask.” Liam's smile widened as he raised both hands in a calming gesture. “Now go up there. Let’s see how good of a team you two make."

Emma rolled her eyes as she walked toward the stage. Killian offered his hand to help her up and Emma took it while offering him a small smile. Once the two of them were on stage, they both looked at him expectantly.

"Since this was your brilliant idea, let us know, according to you, which song we should sing. Surely you already have an idea, don't you?" His brother's face remained impassive. Liam didn’t overlook the deliberate emphasis on the brilliant word, full of barely concealed sarcasm.

Of course, Liam had thought of a song. In fact, it was Emma herself who gave him the idea as she hummed along to the tune of Killian's voice. His brother was going to kill him...

"Since it's just a rehearsal, why don't you keep going with the song you were singing?" He tried to infuse his words with the most innocent tone possible. "In fact, the inspiration for this idea came when I heard Emma humming that song."

"Are you kidding me? Do you want us to sing Because The Night ?" Killian shot him a murderous look as he hissed his words, the mask of impassiveness finally gone. Emma looked mortified, her cheeks flushed, her gaze fixed on her feet.

"Why not? You were singing it now, weren't you? You can use Patti Smith’s version. She sang once at a concert with Bono and Bruce, the original creator... "

"I know, I know." His brother cut him off. "I'm the musician here, remember?" he grunted as he held up the guitar.

"Calm down, brother, I was just trying to help."

To Liam’s surprise, Emma took his side. "Liam has a point here. We can split the song the same way they did at the concert.”

Killian cocked his head and narrowed his eyes, looking at her. "Seriously?"

Emma shrugged. "Since you have convinced me, now I want to go all out for it." She continued in a slightly sharper tone. "And to make it clear, I have no intention of taking your lead away. It's just a one-time thing."

Liam held his breath while rubbing the line of his jaw. The damn idea’s aim was supposed to make them connect even more, but it seemed that what was happening was just the opposite. Before he could reply, Killian moved forward with a sigh.

Even from a distance, Liam could watch as his brother clenched his jaw before answering, looking for Emma's gaze. "Hey, you can sing with me whenever you want, love. It's my brother that I'm upset with."

Emma’s eyes flicked back and forth between him and Killian. "But why? It's not a bad idea, and for once it's not me that comes up with a crazy plan. Besides, you were singing the damn song yourself a few moments ago."

"That's because Killian plays Patti's version. With a duet, he would have to do the part of Bruce, and he's not a big fan of The Boss." Liam came to help his brother before this got out of hand.

Emma raised an eyebrow and looked at them both in disbelief. "Really?"

Liam nodded exaggeratedly, his lips pressed together in a gesture of reassurance. He glanced sideways at his brother, hoping he would follow him. He wasn't lying, after all, was he?

Killian seemed to catch the hint because he lifted a shoulder and gave her his best puppy eyes. "Guilty?"

Liam couldn’t help but roll his eyes. It was so obvious that his brother had fallen hard for Emma. How could she not realize it?

"Really?" she repeated. "How am I finding out about this now after four years? You know Bruce is the original writer, right?" 

"Believe it or not, there are still several things you have to discover about me, love." Killian dropped his voice to a sensual whisper while giving her a look full of intention. 

It wasn't the first time that Killian acted like this with Emma, using that typical flirting between them. She had always taken it as something harmless, a joke between them. Or so Liam believed. This time, Emma stared at his brother, a soft blush adorning her cheeks, as if no one else existed in the room. Almost to the point of making Liam feel like an interloper.

Emma seemed to snap out of her trance, shaking her head while rolling her eyes. She dropped her arms in surrender. "Okay, I'll do The Boss’ part if that's the damn problem. Can we start singing before I regret it?"

After a few seconds of silence, the two brothers looked at each other and burst out laughing. Emma widened her eyes and opened her mouth, clearly confused by what was happening, her gaze traveling from one to the other. "You two are idiots. This is bizarre." Finally, she shook her head and joined them in laughter.

When the laughter subsided, Liam returned for a moment to his place behind the bar while Killian and Emma watched the concert video on Emma's phone. From time to time, they made some comments, deciding the best way to divide the song. Liam noticed how, once relieved of the tension, his brother's behavior was the same as always. 

He casually placed his right arm on Emma's shoulders. Emma seemed to take it naturally because she showed no signs of discomfort, rather the opposite.

Liam was no longer sure what game these two were playing. He obviously knew Killian's feelings for Emma, but now that he was paying more attention to her attitude towards his brother, he suspected that Killian's feelings might not be unrequited.

Liam couldn’t help shaking his head. If only they realized the image they offered together... He had the feeling that they were wasting precious time keeping their relationship in the security of friendship.

He also understood his brother, though. Liam didn’t know all the details, but he knew that Emma had gotten her heart broken several times in the past, so she had put a wall around herself to protect her heart. Even they had a hard time breaking that barrier at first. But now that Emma had let them in, it was understandable that Killian didn’t want to risk losing her. Killian's heart, on the other hand, was not in any better condition after losing the love of his life a few years ago.

Liam took two deep breaths, wondering why everything had to be so difficult.

The first strumming of the guitar caught him off guard because he had been lost in thought. He looked up since Killian and Emma were about to start and he didn’t want to miss it for the world. Before he positioned himself in front of the stage, Liam took the camera that Emma had left on the counter. This had to be immortalized in some way.

The first attempt was unsuccessful. Emma began with a hesitant voice, a little out of tune with her first notes. Far from being discouraged, however, Emma started again. Liam clapped in encouragement as Killian nodded at her and gave her supportive looks. The second time everything was much better. Her voice settled, and as she was gaining confidence, the song began to flow.

It was on the third attempt when the magic appeared. "Very good guys!" Liam shouted at them. This, just what was in front of his eyes, was what he was waiting for when the idea popped into his head. Their voices blended perfectly, the chemistry between them was evident.

Once the initial shyness was set aside, they were giving it all up on stage. Liam took a few photos, focusing on the small gestures that betrayed his brother. Killian couldn’t look away from her. He seemed clearly impressed by Emma's talent. She instead gave him looks and smiles that seemed to hide much more behind an apparent shyness. 

Liam certainly didn’t want to get excited and imagine things, but a small voice in his mind kept repeating to him that perhaps Emma was hiding feelings towards his brother beyond that of a deep friendship.

While listening to the song, he paid more attention to the lyrics, finally understanding the reason for the initial reluctance of his brother since, certainly, its meaning didn’t help to mask any feelings.

 Come on now try and understand The way I feel under your command Take my hand as the sun descends They can't touch you now, Can't touch you now, can't touch you now Because the night belongs to lovers.

 Both blushed and looked away in the most suggestive parts, the eyes of one looking for the other a few seconds later. Liam was attending a performance of teenage behavior with a first crush, with the only difference being that the two teens were actually thirty years old. He smiled to himself as he continued to take pictures.

The rehearsal ended after having practiced the song a couple more times, gaining confidence in security and harmony. Both of them stepped off the stage together with huge smiles and bright eyes. Killian curled his arm around her shoulders as Emma slipped her arm around his waist.

"Well, it wasn’t that bad, was it?" Liam flattered them, unable to suppress a grin of satisfaction. "Now you just have to repeat the same thing next Saturday and it will be an assured success."

"It seems we make quite the team, love," Killian addressed Emma with undisguised pride, getting a small smile in return on her part. "Whoa, I'm thirsty. Do you want something to drink, Swan?" he offered as he placed the guitar on the counter.

"A beer is fine with me, thank you." Emma sat on her usual stool, while the two brothers went behind the bar to get the drinks.

When Liam made sure that they were far enough from Emma and she couldn’t hear them, he grabbed a towel from the counter and threw it at his brother.

Killian caught it and looked at him strangely. "What the hell are you doing?"

"It's for you to clean yourself. You're still drooling." He pressed his lips together, stifling a smirk.

Killian's smile vanished immediately from his face. "Shut up!" his eyes darted to where Emma was. "You and I have to talk later. When we get back home," he hissed pointing his index finger threateningly.

Liam raised his arms in peace, but his brother scowled away, grabbed two beers, and walked over to Emma, offering her one of the bottles. His features softened the instant he was in front of her.

Liam rolled his eyes as he shook his head. He could bear the scolding of his brother since he was sure that everything would be worth it in the end.

Third Goal Achieved: They’d sing together and Liam hoped Saturday night would be a success in every aspect.

//

Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think :)

What to expect in the next chapter? We'll have Elsa's POV and also Killian's POV in the last section. Thanks to the flashback, we'll witness the first meeting between Elsa and Liam. In the present, we'll observe the performance through her eyes. ;)

[imaginingsoftly]

It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time Pt. 11 - Morgan Rielly

Type: roommates to lovers, Y/N insert shorts

Requested: No

Warnings: none

(Y/N = Your name)

A/N: This is it! This is the last chapter. It’s kind of a written version of an ending montage, and spans a couple of years. I hope you enjoy, and I’d love to hear suggestions for a new series.

That fall:

“You know,” Y/N said as she helped Morgan move into his new apartment, “I still think you should live with me again.” She understood where Morgan was coming from, deciding that having their own space for at least the beginning of their relationship was a good idea, but that didn’t mean she liked it. It was nice to have him sitting on the balcony when she got up in the morning or sitting on the counter while she made a snack after work. She had grown to rely on his presence in the apartment, especially when she was feeling especially anxious. Morgan huffed from in front of her, a nonverbal response to her suggestion, and she sighed. “I know, I know. Just also know I’ll be here a lot taking advantage of your balcony.” His balcony had a view of the city lights, rather than a courtyard, and she was wicked jealous. 

They came out of the elevator and were at the door of Morgan’s top-floor apartment before he finally responded. “I look forward to sitting out there with you.” He put down the box he was carrying, turning to face Y/N. “I’m not getting my own place because I don’t want to live with you. I just think a little bit of space could be good for us, since we were living together before we even started dating.” Morgan stared intently into Y/N’s eyes as he spoke, and she could see how sincere he was. Honestly, he was right. Space would definitely be good for them, at least for a little while. She pressed up onto her tiptoes to kiss Morgan, and he wrapped his arms around her waist without hesitation. It was awkward with the box and lamp she was carrying, and Morgan broke away from her with a laugh before unlocking the apartment and stepping inside.

The apartment really was beautiful, she did have to admit that. It was bright, much like her own place, but larger and more open. The entire wall open to the outside was glass, and a balcony took up the length of the room plus some, and she knew there was another entrance to the outdoors in the main bedroom. Morgan dropped his box just inside the entrance, rubbing his back with a groan. He’d thrown out his back the week before, getting a little too enthusiastic as he threw Y/N’s little cousins off the dock of the family lake house, and she knew it still wasn’t quite right. “You know,” she said with a laugh, “one of the biggest signs of age is throwing out your back. I think your body is trying to tell you something.”

Y/N knew that was the wrong thing to say when Morgan turned around with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Oh yeah?” He stalked towards her with a smirk on his face, and she cocked a hip at him with a nod. “I bet I could prove you wrong.” he surged forward, scooping Y/N up and over his shoulder. She laughed, weakly pushing his back. Morgan turned and began walking towards the main bedroom, squeezing Y/N’s calf gently. “I’ll show you old.” He threw her onto the mattress sitting in the middle of the room, a pile of wood that would eventually be his bed laying in piles around it. Y/N laughed as he did, though she stopped when Morgan caged her in. He pushed Y/N’s hair out of her face gently and leaned in for a kiss, and she pulled him down on top of her. 

Later, Y/N traced her fingers over where Morgan’s hand sat just over her right collarbone. His arms were wrapped around her waist and her shoulders, and they watched the sun set from their spot in the middle of the mattress. It was perfect. 

The next June:

They did it. The clock counted down to zero and Y/N stood frozen next to Kat, though the rest of the families were freaking out around them. Mrs. Rielly was yelling to her left, and Dougie’s parents were hugging in front of her.

Dougie was grabbing at Morgan down on the ice, and Y/N could see from where she sat that Morgan was crying. So was she. The guys were huddled around Andrei, who’d just scored the game-winner, and Petr was grabbing at Coach Brind'Amour, though the poor goalie looked like his legs were barely supporting his weight after the onslaught he’d faced at the beginning of the 3rd overtime period. The box began to clear around them, and Y/N and Kat finally came back to reality to hug each other fiercely. “They did it, Kat,” Y/N whispered into her friend’s ear, “holy shit they did it.” Kat rubbed a hand over her growing stomach, where Y/N knew her and Andrei’s daughter was more than likely kicking. She loved the rink even more than her father. 

The wait to get onto the ice with the boys felt like it took a million years. The energy around the group was incredible, and Y/N was pretty sure she’d hugged more people in the last hour than she had her entire life. She could swear PNC was shaking, and Y/N took a second to close her eyes and listen to the crowd. They were chanting Andrei’s name as he accepted the Conn Smyth, and Kat squeezed Y/N’s hand even tighter. Andrei’s mother was on Kat’s other side, and Evgeny stood next to Y/N. It didn’t feel real.

Morgan was in the middle of an interview when Y/N spotted him. He stopped in the middle of a sentence when he saw her, his smile somehow growing larger. “Red Sox!” Y/N saw the camera shift onto her out of the corner of her eye, but she ignored it as she slid over to Morgan. He caught her with a laugh, spinning them in a circle. The reporter caught his attention again, but Morgan kept an arm wound tightly around Y/N’s shoulders as he continued to talk. 

The next few hours were a flurry of movement and photos, and Y/N was hugged by more people she didn’t know than people she did. Andrei pulled Y/N and Morgan away from his parents long enough to take a “family photo” with him and Kat, and Y/N made a mental note to get that framed for her and Morgan’s apartment. By the time they made it out to the club the team decided on, Y/N was already a few beers and some champagne in and she knew Morgan was the same way. It felt like half the city was there to celebrate with the boys, and Y/N spent more time taking videos and pictures of them interacting with the crowd than she’d ever done on Instagram stories before. Kat left early, tired from the baby and a little irritated with the drunkenness around her, and Andrei followed not long after with an impressive speech about how much he loved Kat, made even more impressive by the amount of alcohol he’d consumed. 

Y/N and Morgan made it home eventually, though convincing Dougie that sleep was a good idea and to let them go home proved to be difficult. Dougie eventually relented, and Morgan had to help Dougie from the Uber and into his place on the way back to his and Y/N’s shared apartment. They made it to bed as the sun began rising over the city, and Morgan held Y/N close as they fell asleep and the world turned gold around them.

July 1st, the following year:

“So we’re doing this, then?” Morgan held his finger over the number typed into his phone, and Y/N squeezed his other hand. Free agency day had come, and they were about to change their entire world. Morgan was ready to go home, and Y/N was ready for an adventure. Besides, home was wherever Morgan was. Y/N nodded, and Morgan hit the call button. The GM on the other end of the line picked up, and Morgan spoke one sentence that began the change. “I’m about to sign the paperwork.” His smile was infectious, and Y/N smiled widely back at him. The paperwork felt endless, and she found herself playing photographer so that there was proof of the signing and for the social media page to post wherever they decided to. 

Morgan finally said his goodbyes to the GM, and he barely hit the end call button before he was leaping up to wrap Y/N in a hug. “I love you.” She hugged him back tightly, and whispered the same. They stood like that for a moment, and then Morgan’s phone lit up with a call. And so it began. Y/N slipped away to grab them both beers, and Morgan clinked his appreciatively against hers as he talked with Elias. Y/N stepped out onto the balcony of the Vancouver apartment and smiled. This would be her new view every day. Canada was new, and the thought of changing everything to move to a new country scared her shitless, but there would be time to worry about that later. 

She stood there until the sun began sinking in front of her, and Morgan joined her outside. “I think that’s the last of them, at least for now.” He slung an arm around Y/N’s shoulder, pulling her close. “I’ve got something to show you, if you’re up for a nighttime drive.” Y/N threw a look up at him, and he laughed. Of course she was up for a nighttime drive. “Okay, I know, c’mon.” He turned and headed back inside, grabbing his keys from the sweatshirt lying over the back of the couch. 

They drove for almost a half an hour, singing quietly to the bluetooth as the sights of the city flew past them. The water came into a more consistent view as they drove, and Y/N made a mental note to drive this road again the next time she couldn’t sleep. The air was cool as it filtered through the sunroof and she shivered slightly. Morgan pulled into a driveway suddenly, and Y/N stared up at the house in front of them. It was newer, full of windows and what she thought was a rooftop deck sitting just at the tip of her viewpoint. She turned to Morgan in confusion, and he smiled. “When we decided on Vancouver a few days ago, I started thinking about how we could really get a proper restart. I was thinking we could put an offer in on this place if you liked it.” 

He opened his car door and climbed out after that, and Y/N slowly did the same. Morgan punched in the code for the lock and held the door open, gesturing for Y/N to enter first. It took her breath away. Even in the growing darkness the house was bright. Moonlight filtered in from the windows covering most of the walls she could see. They were black-trimmed, standing out neatly against the white of the walls. The place was empty, but it still felt homey. Morgan reached out and grabbed Y/N’s hand, tugging her further into the house. “You’ve gotta see the kitchen. It has my favorite views other than the roof.” 

The view was incredible. Windows over the sink looked out onto the bay, and Y/N could see a dock leading down to the water from the deck outside the living room. Morgan brushed a finger over her left cheek, and Y/N realized she was crying. “Morgan, this place is incredible.” He cupped her face gently, smiling. “I know,” he said cheekily, “that’s why I picked it out.” Y/N stared at him incredulously, though the effect was slightly ruined by the tears still sitting in her eyes. Morgan nodded his head back in the direction they had come from. 

“You’ve got to see the best part of the house.” The upstairs was just as beautiful as the downstairs, though Morgan didn’t give Y/N a chance to appreciate it the way he had the kitchen. He kept moving, pulling her towards another set of stairs. The outside hit her suddenly, and the smell of the water was carried along the breeze up to them. If the view from the kitchen was perfect, the view from the roof was otherworldly. Y/N walked towards the railing in an almost trancelike state, and she only stopped when the railing hit her midsection. She felt tears welling in her eyes again, and she didn’t have the will to swipe them away. This view alone was reason to buy the house. The city lights sparkled from across the dark bay, and lights from a ferry shone even further away. The sky was a dark purple now, almost completely black, and a full moon was rising over the water and the city. 

Y/N leaned back into Morgan, and he wrapped his arms around her tightly. “I want to do forever with you, sweetheart, and I think this is a good place to start.” He leaned down to rest his head on Y/N’s shoulder, and she sighed contentedly. “Marry me?” Y/N jerked, turning quickly in Morgan’s arms. He was smiling down at her nervously, and she felt her face break into a wide smile. She nodded, not quite trusting her voice. “Yeah?” Morgan reached up to cup Y/N’s face as he spoke. 

“Yeah,” she responded, grabbing the front of his shirt to pull him down to her. They were smiling too big to properly kiss, and Y/N broke away to lean her forehead on Morgan. “I love you, Hotshot.” Morgan laughed, pecking her lips again. “I love you too, Red Sox.”

They were home again and sitting on the couch when Morgan blanched, jumping up with a muffled “shit” and running out of the room. Y/N sat there confusedly, trying to decide if she should follow him, when Morgan came skidding back into the room. “I forgot about this.” He held out a velvet box, and Y/N began to laugh. The laugh grew until she was clutching her sides, sliding down the couch until she was lying back. Morgan joined in eventually, and they held each other as they laughed. It took a few minutes until they were composed enough to speak again, and Morgan slid the ring out of the box and onto her finger. It was simple, small and perfect, and Y/N laughed quietly as she leaned in to kiss Morgan again. “I love you, Morgan Reilly.” 

They waited until the next morning to tell anyone, calling their families as soon as it was an acceptable time. Around noon Morgan posted a picture of Y/N drinking coffee onto his Instagram, the coffee cup and her left hand the only things in the photo in focus. A simple caption followed that led to an animated conversation with Kat and a lecture from Andrei about the proper way to announce big news. 

So about last night…

October, Vancouver’s Opening Night: 

To say opening night was exciting would be an understatement. Morgan’s mother had been texting Y/N all day to confirm their pre-game plans, and Y/N finally understood where Morgan’s energy came from. They had gotten dinner together at a place Mrs. Rielly swore by, and then had settled into seats in the family box to watch Morgan make his debut for his hometown team. The arena was giddy, especially as their team came out swinging. They won, and by the end of the game Morgan had scored his first goal as a Canuck. The goal and a fantastic play to save the game in the third gave him first star of the game, and the arena roared as he skated out for a lap. He raised his stick in appreciation before settling onto the bench to talk to the crowd.

“So Morgan, I have to ask you about your summer. It was quite eventful, yes?” The in-arena interviewer smiled at Morgan expectantly, and Y/N laughed because she knew what was coming. “I hear you got engaged to a former roommate?”

Morgan smiled sheepishly and nodded. “Well I had just gotten traded to Carolina, and I needed a place to stay. Dougie Hamilton told me he knew of a girl who needed someone to rent the other room in her apartment, and it seemed like a good idea at the time…”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #313

“i’m your turbo lover  /  tell me there’s no other”

Where are you located at this moment? In my bed. What if you found out your ex was having a child with someone else? If it was Sara, I'm finding out who the fuck I'm flying up there to punch his face in. If it was Jason, I'd either faint or be in the bathroom vomiting. Or both. I can almost promise you at least one or the other while I have an absolute emotional breakdown. I'm not at the point in my recovery where I can hear that and be entirely okay. I'd be happy for any of the others. At what age do you think you'll be ready to have children? Never. When was the last time you couldn't stop laughing? Why? I don't recall. Which of your friends do your parents get along best with? I guess Girt, since he's known my mom the longest of the friends I still have. I don't know about Dad; he barely knows any of my friends seeing as I don't live with him and see him rarely. Is there anyone in your friendship group that your parents don't like? No. Can you recall the last time you were extremely disappointed? I surprisingly can't remember, even though I know it was recent. Who was the last person to un-friend you on Facebook? I don't know, it's not like I go hunting people down if I notice the number has dropped, lol. Do you know why he/she decided to un-friend you? I'm certain it would've been something political. Are there any food wrappings, boxes, containers etc. in your room? No. Do you know anyone who does have cancer? I don't think anyone who currently has it, no. I may know someone via association, but idk. What is the worst medicine you've ever taken? There are two that very strongly stand out: the first one was in middle school, and the second sometime last year. I was put on an antidepressant that made me absolutely love life in the morning, like I would practically prance through school, but come afternoon, I was a fucking demon. Mom took me off that shit so fast. Most recently, my birth control was changed to have more estrogen for some reason I can't recall (maybe it had to do with mood?? idk), and it made me... I'm just gonna say I was a ~mess~. I slammed on breaks with it so fuckin fast. Safe to say I returned to my normal pill. Has your house or where you stayed ever flooded? My childhood home came very close during Hurricane Floyd. Thankfully the water never got actually inside the house, but it was an absolute lake outside. What was the last event or special occasion you participated in? My niece's birthday was actually a couple days ago, so we celebrated at my sister's house. What do you find yourself reminiscing about the most? I'll give you one guess. Do you have a favorite pianist? No. Song you listened to last is...? I have "Turbo Lover" by Judas Priest on right now. What's the last type of cookie you ate? Uhhh I would assume chocolate chip. Do you have your own computer? I have my own laptop, and I'm possibly getting an actual computer come May?? One of my WoW friends knows the hell I've been through with this laptop, and she and her husband are getting new computers then, so she's basically pushed her husband's old one on me, lol. Apparently it works just fine, he just wants something better. I've told her again and again to make some money off of it, but she's pretty much giving me no choice lmao. I appreciate it a whole lot, though. It'd be pretty nice to separate games onto an actual, capable desktop versus making my laptop sound like it's screaming for God's mercy if I boot something up. Describe your computer chair? I don't have one. Well, there's an old one in the extra room I'm going to end up using, but all I know is it's black. I've never paid closer attention to it. Do you sleep with your door open or closed? Open. I feel too isolated with it closed. Are you going to keep your last name when you get married? God no, it's very unlikely. I hate my last name, take it away. Does it bother you when people beg? Why are they begging, and how insistently? It depends. Do you have any weird rings? I have two, but neither I consider weird, at least. Well, I suppose the one with "bitch" carved on the inside would confuse non-Supernatural fans, haha. Are you anything like your siblings? Not really, no. At least, my two immediate sisters. Mom says I'm extremely similar to her eldest daughter though and wishes we'd talk more, but yeah, I just don't have anything to talk about with her. I'm so bad at initiating conversation. When was the last time you shaved your legs? October for when I was doing that witchy photoshoot with a friend. I absolutely hate shaving my legs and pretty much only do if anyone else whose opinion would affect me may see them. What would be the best surprise you could receive right now? Uhhh I guess all the "upgrades" I want to make to Venus' enclosure: a 40g tank and a nice, accurate hygrometer and thermometer, as well as the proper kind of lamp for her. I feel like such a "bad snake mom" still having her in her current terrarium because, while it's perfectly liveable and not dangerous, it's too small for her. It's pretty much always on my mind to some degree nowadays, so just like, dropping the terrarium and extra tools off would be a massive weight off my shoulders. Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? No, but I was able to skip the intro Writing course the last time I was in college; I just started in Writing II. Who took your profile pic? Anywhere where it's a picture of myself, odds are me. I hate getting pictures taken, but if it's gonna happen, it'll be through myself, knowing my "good" angle and such, lol. Have you ever been fishing? Do you know anyone who likes fishing as a hobby? I've been fishing many times, especially as a kid with my dad. There are pleeeenty of people I know who enjoy it. I don't anymore. Do you own any cats? What color are their eyes? Yes; his are a light blue. Is there a rose bush in your garden? What color are its roses? We don't have a garden. When was the last time you spent over $100 in one transaction? What did you buy? Over $100 with my own cash, a plane ticket. My recent tattoo deposit was exactly a hundred. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? Would you judge a grown adult for doing so? No; Roman would NEVER allow me to cuddle anything else, and I am not even remotely kidding. I couldn't care less if any adult does, though. Would you rather read an erotic novel or watch an erotic film? Ew, neither, but I guess a book would be better just so my eyes weren't forever scarred. What’s your favorite way to make your home smell good? Do you spend a lot of money on making this happen? INCENSE!!!! God, I love incense burners. I don't light it anymore though because Venus' terrarium is also in my room, and it's not good for snakes. What are the main two colors in the room you’re currently in? Did you pick these colors out yourself? Just... white. That's it. Well, my furniture is brown. I didn't pick either. How often do you wake up in the night needing to pee? Usually once, sometimes not at all anymore. I guess my bladder actually grew a pair. If you live in a household with pets, who is responsible for their care - both in terms of finance and the physical tasks involved? As far as the physical care, me. Mom does help me do a full clean of Venus' cage sometimes, though, because I don't trust myself to both keep her around my neck while I scrub the tank, hide, bowl, etc., with a cat that is my absolute shadow. I don't want to be bent over the tub and Roman tries to do something; he's shown very little interest in Venus, but still, I'm one hell of a paranoid snake mom that doesn't want to risk her life. Full cleans only happen like twice a year, so I don't mind too much asking my mother for some help. I should point out that Mom doesn't want to hold her, so we can't reverse roles. Do you have anything hanging from your ceiling apart from lights? Not anymore, no. At my old house and the one before, I had lots of Pyramid Head gift tags hanging, but our landlord doesn't want me to do that here. Would you describe yourself as neat, messy or somewhere in-between? I'm in-between. If you have pets, when was the last time one of them needed to go the vets? Venus had to go to the vet about a year into me having her because she was showing symptoms of an RI in strange breathing episodes, which can be fatal to a snake. Thank God, nature, whatever, that she didn't. There were warning signs, but closer watch over her humidity saved her. Roman, meanwhile, was taken to the vet like a year ago to be neutered. When the pandemic is over, what is one thing you can’t wait to do again? I barely ever left the house beforehand, so... I guess go to the movies. What’s one thing (aside from essentials) that you spend the most money on each month? Has anyone ever told you you’re obsessed or addicted with it? N/A What’s your favourite genre of TV show to watch? What’s your favourite show that’s not from that genre? If I had to pick, uhhh... yeah, idk, due to the whole "not into TV much to begin with" thing. Would you rather be employed or self-employed? Why? Self-employed, though taking care of all business matters yourself is/would suck. I just really want to be my own boss for the sake of photographing whatever I want. IIs your hair naturally curly, straight or somewhere in between? Do you wish it was different? It's straight, but on the wavy side, and I wish it wasn't. Do you ever play online games with your friends? Which one(s)? Just WoW. In the last week, have you had any alcoholic beverages? Which? No. Do you ever wear accessories in your hair? Which ones? No. Do you feel free to post your views on social media? Yep. I honestly don't care who it pisses off. What is your favorite work of historical fiction? Well, I don't really know what you consider truly "historical" in age... That, and I'm bad at dates to begin with. There are lots and lots of older books and movies I adore, though. Old Yeller is one of my favorite books ever, for one. The Boy In The Striped Pajamas makes me sob, too. What cartoon character looks like you? I remember when Hotel Transylvania came out, my ex's mob pointed out how much she thought I looked like the daughter, especially when my hair was dyed black. Do you have hope for the future? Some days I do, some days I don't. Do you believe in yourself? Ehhhh... debatable, idk. Do you have trouble letting go of your past? Oh yes. Were you happy in high school? It's funny, I was very depressed in HS, but due to Jason and friends, it's one of my most cherished time periods. Were you ever a teacher's favorite? I mean it modestly, but I was almost always pretty obviously one of the teachers' favorites. I was a good student. Are you popular? I wasn't. If you won a title in the senior class polls, what was it? I didn't. Have you ever had a medical condition that made you unable to work? My social anxiety is so debilitating that it's made it questionable. It ruined my very short-lived previous jobs. What makes your life worth living? My future goals, family, friends... What is your favorite Bible verse? I don't have one. List five careers you've considered. Paleontologist, vet, game designer, author, and wildlife biologist are all past ones. Do you have any unusual talents? If so, what? No. What do you get compliments on? My hair and my art, mostly. What have people told you you should be? I've heard "a vet" most in my life. What is holding you back? My (mostly social) anxiety and extreme fear of judgment. Do you have anyone purely evil in your life? Hell no, I wouldn't allow that person to stay in my life. Have you ever felt threatened for your life? I've felt scared for it, yes. While riding my bike once, I ran into a guy in my old neighborhood who had a criminal history, including assault, just asking what I was listening to on my iPod. I stopped because I was scared to keep going, and he wound up asking for my Facebook, but guess who didn't accept THAT friend request. List ten positive words that describe you. That's too much thinking, man. List ten negative words that [you feel] describe you. And that's too much negativity to fish in. Are you a good person or a bad person? I mean, I try to be a good one. Have you ever contemplated being a bad person? I've done bad things, but I've certainly never deliberated tried to be an overall bad person. Have you ever resorted to vandalism because you didn't have a voice? No. Have you ever egged someone's house? Wow, no. Do you want to egg someone's house? Also no because I'm a fucking adult. Have you ever seen a piece of graffiti that you are thankful for? What an odd question. I mean, no? Name three people who hurt you and didn't care. I am quite positive Colleen doesn't care about the many times she did considering she's always right. Was your first crush sexual, or no? No, I was just a kid. What would you do if you got pregnant right now? I honestly can't say I know. If I was God forbid raped, I'd probably have an abortion because I psychologically could not handle that without being scarred for life. If it was by my own stupidity, I feel I'd probably have the baby but give it up for adoption. I just can't raise a kid. Do you have a medical condition that you are embarrassed or ashamed to tell people you have? No, I don't think so. What do you get asked the most? Hm. OH, WAIT, THAT'S EASY. I get asked a lot if my lip piercing hurt. Have you ever stood up for someone else who was being bullied? I know I have before, but I don't remember the occasion. What tragic news stories that you've heard has touched you the most? Man, that's a lot to think about. You see news articles on Facebook all the time, and a whole lot of them touch me, so I dunno. What is your favorite thing to order at Taco Bell? I like the cheese quesadillas, and whatever those cinnamon bites are called are really good. I'm still tilted they got rid of the fiesta potatoes, because I adored those. Where do you have cutting scars (if you have any)? I only ever had them on my wrist, but you can't see them anymore. Do you like cotton candy? Not very, but I mean, I can have a bite or two. It's way too sweet to eat a lot of it. What's the best piece of graffiti you've ever seen? I'm unsure, but I've definitely seen beautiful work, especially online. Do you like tattoos? "Like" is a colossal understatement. Do you like piercings? Yep yep yep. Have you ever made someone so mad that they broke something? No. Those are not people I hang around with. Who is the last person you slow-danced with? Slow-danced? I don't think I've done that since Jason.

[jamaisjoons]

everythingoes | kth & jjk

Summary: He is all the things you feel when fireworks light up the night sky. But everything is momentary and everything fades, just like those very same fireworks.

Pairing: Fuckboy!Taehyung x Reader; Jungkook x Reader

Genre: ANGST, so much fucking angst, smut, (barely there) fluff

Word Count: 24k

Warnings: cheating, sweet taehyung being a dick (I’m sorry tiger cub, I love you), a toxic relationship, possessive Taehyung, sex while semi-intoxicated (they can still consent), oral (fem and male receiving), panty play? I think, taehyung with a monster schlong, deep throating, face fucking, dirty talk, breast play, very slight cock/body worship, face sitting/riding, squirting, cum eating, riding, taehyung having a crazy amount of stamina, hair pulling, multiple orgasms, spanking, forced orgasm, creampie, slight breeding kink

A/N: Highkey, I was listening to mono when I came up with this plot and then when I was typing a certain scene. I wonder if you can guess exactly what scene that is lmao. In other news, this AU fried my last remaining brain cell and honestly I just want to rest for three years. My fingers are practically number from typing. UNEDITED because I’m DONE with it (for now). I’ll edit when my brain cells regenerate

You sat in the corner of the lecture room, trying your hardest to focus on the reading material in front of you. Usually, you barely paid attention in lectures, preferring to scroll through social media. It wasn’t that you were a bad student, in most classes, you would pay attention. The sole reason for your lack of attention in this one class was due to the professor reading off the slides, word for word. She never explained anything further and therefore her lectures were as boring as boring could get. But it also meant that you could do what you want and not miss a single thing.

So why was it that you were trying so hard to pay attention, this particular lecture?

You heard a small giggle and stiffened in your seat, the sound causing the hairs on the back of your neck to stand up. You grit your teeth and slid further down into your seat, trying to make yourself as small as possible. Thatwas the reason for your sudden attention to the Professor’s material. You glared at the screen, trying your hardest to keep your eyes from wandering away from your screen. However, when a deep chuckle followed, you couldn’t help but chance a glance. It was almost as if you were drawn to the sound, completely ensnared by the deep throaty laugh. Almost like the temptation of a siren’s song.

And then it was as if you couldn’t look away.

Try as you might, you can’t seem to break your gaze away from him. No, instead you take in the sight of from your seat. You’re currently at the back of the lecturer room, as far into the corner as you could be and your seat gives you the perfect view of him. Or well, technically a perfect view of the back of his head and side profile. With a slight wave of nostalgia, you realise he’s growing out his hair again and there are signs of the cutest mullet. The locks by the nape of his neck stick out in different directions and for a brief moment you get irresistible urge to run your fingers through them. His hair, unlike two weeks ago, was bleached to a light shade of blonde and while you love his natural hair best, you can’t help but think he looks devilishly handsome.

You had met Kim Taehyung six years ago, when the both of you were sixteen. Of course, you had known of Taehyung throughout the entirety of your high school career. He was the highschool heartthrob, the most beautiful boy to walk the halls of Busan High. He had broken more hearts than you could count on your hands. Of course, that was more due to the sheer number of girls who were in love with him. It was almost impossible to not know who Kim Taehyung was. Despite his status, he was still loved by everyone and anyone. He was as charismatic and friendly as they come; traits that leant to his ‘heartthrob’ persona and sometimes you wondered how a sweetheart such as Taehyung had even managed to break hearts. The boy was a dork and as sweet as cotton candy.

You had never thought much of Taehyung, even in school. However, that had all changed one faithful day.

{Flashback: March 2013}

You were sitting in your art and photography class, staring out the window as you waited class to start. It was the middle of Spring and the plum blossoms had already bloomed, the roads completely littered with the petals. Even with the light wind, you could see the rustling of the branches, with each movement, more and more blush pink, delicate petals scattering in the air. You lose yourself in the scenic landscape for a couple more minutes. That is, until you’re cut out of your daydream by a series of giggles and you turn your attention to the girls sitting at the front of the class.

Their eyes are solely fixated on the boy walking through the door, a large boxy smile on his face, framed either side by his chubby cheeks. His large brown eyes are sparkling, uneven lids just adding to the subtle beauty that surrounds him. Kim Taehyung was the school heartthrob and for good reasons. He was even best friends with the school council president Park Jimin, the two as thick as thieves ever since Taehyung moved from Daegu to Busan. The girls continued giggling as they stared dreamily at Taehyung, their faces flushed lightly as they sent him their brightest smile.

Taehyung sent them both flirtatious winks, causing both of them to fluster, one even dropping her books. Taehyung let out a small chuckle before he bent over to pick them up, squatting down until he’s face to face with the girl. You watched as he slowly gathers the books into his hand before rising back to his full height. You keep your attention trained at him, eyes narrowed on his figure, watching as he hands the books over to the girl, fingertips brushing against hers before smiling at her cheekily. The girl lets out a small squeak, her hot red before she turns and quickly runs away. You roll your eyes at the cheesy exchange, sneering slightly at the girls before turning your attention back out the window.

Soon enough, class begins and your teacher drones on and on about still life drawings and the depth of emotion you can capture with them. He continues monotonously monologuing the ‘true’ nature of still art and it takes every single ounce of your control to resist the urge to scream. This was practically all he spoke about, and you understood it stemmed from his passion for still life (despite the complete lack of emotion in his voice); but at the same time, you’d rather learn about something else. Especially considering this was your fifth class about still life drawing.

Therefore, instead of paying attention, you continue ignoring the teacher; choosing to daydream as you stare out the window instead. You imagine yourself being somewhere far away from here, quite literally anywherebut here and before you know it, your teacher is dismissing you. You let out a sigh of relief as you begin packing up, shoving your books back into your bag before getting up to leave. However, as soon as you stood up, you come face to chest with someone. You tilt your head, eyebrow shooting into your hairline as you were met with Taehyung’s smiling face.

You reel back slightly, trying to put in some distance between you and the man, wondering what on earthhe could want with you. You look around the room slightly, confused by the baffling glares of all the girls who were also in your class. You sent them a sneer, causing them to let out a scoff before walking away, muttering something about how something or the other wasn’t fair. You briefly recognise the girl who had dropped her books earlier looking slightly disheartened, sending a longing glance towards Taehyung before looking at you with jealousy. You turn your attention back to Taehyung, raising your eyebrow once against.

“Is there something you need, Taehyung-ssi?” You asked and Taehyung’s face morphed into one of confusion.

“Were you paying attention ____-ssi? We’re partners” Taehyung replies and you almost choke, spluttering at him.

“What? Partners for what?” You splutter and Taehyung laughs at you, the noise deep and baritone and you wonder whatsixteen-year old’s voice is so deep. He sounds more like a man than anything.

“Miss Ahn partnered us up for the end of term project. We have two weeks to come up with what we want to do, art or photography wise” Taehyung replies cheerily and you nod along, finally understanding why the girls were angry at you. You let out a small sigh, this was surely going to cause problems. How were you and Taehyung supposed to work on a project for two weeks without you being murdered by his fan club? You silently pray to whatever god is out there, because you were sure you were going to need it.

“Alright, drop me your number and we can figure out when we need to meet and work on it. Have you thought of something you want to work on?” You ask and Taehyung nods eagerly as he punches his number into your phone.

“I’ve got a few ideas, one of them inspired by Van Gogh. However, I also want to do something photography related. But we can speak more about another day” Taehyung says and you nod swiftly.

“Alright perfect. I look forward to working with you Taehyung-ssi” You say more out of obligation and societal politeness than anything else and Taehyung’s only response is a large grin, a cheeky wink following as he turns to leave.

{End of Flashback}

That’s the first time you meet Taehyung. You had been expecting to work on a simple project and then both move on to your separate ways. What you didn’t expect is to genuinely enjoy his company over the next two weeks. Sure, his flirting was borderline excessive and ridiculous. But Taehyung was still fun to work with, especially when you realised how serious he was and how much he loved art. You didn’t expect to somehow grow attached and you especially didn’t expect for Taehyung to become your best friend. But, throughout working with him, you had realised that everyone was right. It was physically impossible to hate Taehyung; he was entirely too sweet. Suddenly, you understood exactly why all the girls would swoon over him.

Your lecturer continued droning on and on and you resisted the urge to face plant your desk out of misery. You were both in Art History, it was your minor and the only reason you had taken it was because you needed to make up the credits. You had always had a vagueinterest in art, but it could never measure up to Taehyung’s love for all things old, classic and artsy. You however, preferred academics and your major was chemistry. Why you had to take Art History to complete your Chemistry degree, you had no idea. But it was either Art History or Politics and you would ratherdiethan spend a single minute surrounded by pretentious conservatives who thought they knew how the world worked despite daddy’s money paying for everything.

The lecturer cracked a joke and you rolled your eyes from the back of the lecture hall, wishing the torture would just end. However, your attention is once again drawn by a deep chuckle, a sound that you could recognise anywhere. You watch Taehyung laugh with the rest of the class, his eyes sparkling with happiness and his lips pulled into a huge grin. His face fills you with nostalgia and you’re thrown back to the first time you questioned your previously platonic feelings for Taehyung.

{June 2014}

“____! Come on, just get in. I promise nothing will happen. You knowyou’re safest when with me” Taehyung pleads and you scoff at him, arms crossed around your chest as you eye him wearily. It’s been a good year since you befriended Taehyung. It had been a rocky start, especially considering Taehyung had tried to flirt with you constantly, despite you refusing his advances time and time again. However, eventually he had realised that you weren’t going to give in and had toned it down. Despite your art project ending, you had still kept in touch. But you could never have imagined that somehow, he’d have ended up as your best and closest friend. You trust Taehyung with your entire life. Figuratively. But as he stands there in front of you, a pout on his lips and his eyes pleading as he holds out car keys, his newly gifted car behind him, you wonder if you couldquite literallytrust Taehyung with your life.

You’re still seventeen, but Taehyung is older than you and he’s just completed his eighteenth birthday, which means that legallyTaehyung is allowed to drive. And with that, comes a test of how much you actuallytrust him. On a good day, he has your complete, unfaltering trust. But today, you’re not so sure. Because he’sjustpassed his test and you aren’t sure whether you want to get in a car with him, where he’s behind the wheel. Especially at night time, when the roads are dark and barely lit.

But Taehyung is insistent. He wants the first person he drives to be you and it has to be now, at night, because he’s driving his mother to the airport the next day. He continuously pleads and when he lets out a small whine; you give in, throwing your hands in the air. Taehyung yelps in victory, fist pumping through the air before opening your door like the gentleman he is. As soon as you get in, you buckle up; Taehyung getting into his own seat, grinning at you widely. He’s entirely too giddy and you wonder what you’re getting into. He’s got something planned and you know it as well as you know the back of your own hand.

“What?” You ask, and Taehyung lets out a little giggle. He reaches over you and rummages through the glove box before pulling something out.

“Okay, so you know, how the other day, RM dropped his new mixtape Mono? And how we said it’d be perfect to listen to on a night drive?” Taehyung says and you quirk an eyebrow, nodding slightly. He lifts up the album he pulled out and your eyebrows shoot up. So, he hadbeen planning something.

“God damn it, I should have known you were planning something. You don’thave to drop your mother to the airport, tomorrow do you? This is all just some elaborate plan for you to rope me into doing dumb shit with you at midnight” You whine, pointing an accusatory finger at Taehyung and you internally cheer victoriously when Taehyung throws his hands up in defeat, a sheepish smile on his face.

“Okay, okay, you caught me! But I didwant you to be the first person I drove. Also, today is a beautiful night and I want to show this with you. Come on, ____ pretty please? For me?” Taehyung pouts and as soon as his lip quivers you know you are done for. You let out an infuriated scream, tugging your hair in frustration before smacking the dashboard. Taehyung watches you with an amused smile and you resist the urge to lean over and throttle him. Because both of you know exactlywhat Taehyung’s puppy dog look does to you. How was anyonesupposed to resist him when he was flashing his wide brown eyes, plush lips pulled into a perfected pout?

“Fuck! Fine! Fine, just fucking drive. But I just want you to know, if we die, I’m haunting your ass forever” You threaten and Taehyung grins brightly before turning the key and starting the ignition. A small sense of dread fills you when Taehyung slightly revs the engine, one hand on the gear stick. You dotrust Taehyung to keep you safe, because he was right, you weresafest when with him. However, Taehyung was known to be slightly reckless and you didn’t put it past him to suddenly speed down the motorway.

“Alright babe, get ready for the best night of your life” Taehyung says with a wink and you jokingly gag at his words. Even though you were both best friends, Taehyung still threw his lame pickup lines or ‘smooth’ moves on you every now and then ‘To keep you on your toes’ he claimed, but you both knew he just enjoyed riling you up. Plus, it was more out of habit than anything, because at 18, Taehyung is somehow a bigger flirt than he was at 17. You theorise that perhaps it’s to do with his newfound growth spurt, making his already tall stature even taller.

Taehyung shifts the gear and slowly begins reversing, one hand around the back of your seat as he turns around, making sure the space behind him his clear through the rear window. Once you’re out of the drive, Taehyung shifts gears once again and presses down on the accelerator and suddenly the two of you are driving down the empty roads of Busan.

“Come on Iris, play the CD” Taehyung says and you hope Taehyung doesn’t hear the sharp intake of breath. He had begun calling you Iris three months into your friendship, the nickname solely reserved for you. You had questioned him many times as to why he called you that, but each time the explanation changed. The first was because according to him, ‘Irises’ was his favourite painting by Vincent Van Gogh; however, you knew that to be false because his favourite painting was ‘Starry Night over the Rhône’. The second time you asked, he had said it was because irises were a beautiful flower and somehow, they just suited you, even ifyour favourite flower were chrysanthemums. The third time you ask, he finally admits it’s because Iris is the god of Rainbows and irises are purple. The last colour of the rainbow. He says the colour signifies how you’d be together forever. Just you and him. You liked that idea.

“Iris? ____? You okay?” Taehyung asks and you blink owlishly as he pulls you out of your reverie. You shake your head slightly, smiling sheepishly as you slot the CD into the player. You turn the volume up slightly and you hear the soft sound of a car driving on the road begin before the loud chiming as ‘Tokyo’ starts playing, the soft sound of the piano filling the car. RM’s deep, but low husky voice begins and you’re slowly plunged into the calm of the atmosphere.

It’s completely dark outside as it’s nearing 1am, and neither you nor Taehyung speak as he navigates expertly through the streets of Busan. You lean your head against the window, condensation slightly blurring your view. But even then, you can still make out the dim lights of the stars and moon as they shine above you, the city lights drowning them out. However, the further you drive, the more you notice them as they slowly become brighter and brighter, and suddenly; when you can see them clearly, you realise that Taehyung has driven you far from the city.

The two of you are on a road by the beachside, the lights of the city now faint and behind you. You can faintly hear the crashing of the ocean waves on the beach as you race through empty roads. You startle slightly as you breathe in the crisp, slightly salted air, wondering when Taehyung had rolled down the windows. A part of you wonders how long you were staring out the window, completely lost in your thoughts. ‘uhgood’ is currently playing and with a startling realisation, you recognize it being the fourth time it’s been played, which means you’ve been driving for more than an hour. You glance at the clock in the car, eyes widening at the display. How was it already nearing 2am? The drive barelyfelt like twenty minutes, how had a complete two hours passed?

You turn back to Taehyung, opening your mouth to say something about turning back but instead you’re utterly floored by the view you’re met with. Taehyung is completely focused on the road, his grip on the steering wheel loose. He looks at ease, a soft smile on his face as the mixtape continues playing in the background. The wind slowly rustles through his hair, the susurrus noises only adding to the stillness of the atmosphere surrounding you. You’re almost captivated by how beautiful he is. He always has been. You know this. It is not an opinion but a mere fact. Because Taehyung isbeautiful. But seeing him now, you’re almost pulled into a trance.

Taehyung has grown up the last year, he’s lost some of his chubbiness, but you can still see hints around his cheekbones. His jaw is slightly more angled now and his features sharp, especially his eyes as they twinkle with mischief. The soft glow of the moonlight highlights his high cheekbones, his tan skin softly glowing, the darkness completely encasing him; almost as if it’s highlighting him in the low light. His hair is softly blowing in the wind, the dark locks slightly ruffled and simply adding to his charm. From your angle, you can see his long thick eyelashes brush against his cheeks every time he blinks. Right here, right now, Taehyung is the most gorgeous creature you have ever seen or could ever know. You don’t think he could get anymore stunning.

And then he turns to you.

And he smiles.

Your breath hitches slightly, the large grin pushing up his cheeks and emphasizing the slight chubbiness he still has with him, thanks to his grandmother’s constant mission to keep him well fed and healthy. His boxy smile stirs something in you and then he winks and applies more pressure onto the accelerator, speeding up. You know you should be slightly worried; it’s dark and Taehyung is speeding. But you’re so caught up in how breath-taking he looks that you fail to reprimand him. Instead, you drown further into him.

“You alright Iris?” Taehyung asks, his voice deep and husky and you have no idea why, but your heart achesat his words.

“I’m fine Tae, just fine” You breathe out, hoping he doesn’t notice the slight breathlessness to your voice. Especially when he moves his hand from the back of your seat to take your hand in his, squeezing it slightly.

{End of Flashback}

You scoff at your past self, wishing desperately that you could go back in time and rewind everything. That was the day you began falling for your best friend. A huge cliché, you were aware. But how could you notfall for Taehyung? He was almost perfect. However, Taehyung didn’t date. He was a flirt and a fuckboy through and through. You knew this better than anyone. You had always thought you’d be immune to it, but how the mighty have fallen. You smiled bitterly as you pondered your very much unrequited love for your best friend. Best friend. You continue perusing Taehyung, your heart plummeting in your chest.

Sometimes it hurt just looking at him.

You could still clearly remember the day you had the startling realisation that you were in love with your best friend. It was almost four years ago, when the two of you had just graduated from highschool.

{Flashback July 2015}

“Iris, come on sweet, it’s our last night as highschool students! We can’tmiss this” Taehyung whines and you ignore the way your heartbeat slightly speeds up at his nickname.

“God Taehyung, why are you dragging me along? It’s not as if you’ll actually be with me the night anyway” You glare at him and Taehyung looks at you in both surprise and confusion.

“____, why would I not be with you?” Taehyung asks and you let out a little scoff. You knew Taehyung like the back of your hand. You had been best friends for almost two years now and you’d like to think you knew exactly what would happen at the celebratory bonfire for seniors. Taehyung would spend twenty minutes with you, keeping you company and making sure you were alright. But then, he’d find himself a girl and chase after her and then he’d disappear. Like he always did.

“Tae come on, we both know you’re going to leave the minute you find a girl you want to fuck” You sneer and as soon as the words are out, you wonder why they leave a bad taste in your mouth. Or why your stomach churns at the thought of Taehyung with another girl.

“God ____, I know I’m usually like that, but I’m not going to ditch you tonight of all nights. If I promise to stay with you, will you come?” Taehyung pouts and you narrow your eyes at him slightly. Taehyung only deepens his pout and you let out a sigh of defeat, Taehyung grinning when he hears it. You silently berated yourself, wondering why he had so much power over you. Why was it that a singlepout always had you doing his bidding? It was as if he did it and cast a spell on you, making sure you always bent to his whims.

“Fuck, fine! But if you leave me Kim Taehyung, I swear to any god out there, I willfind you and castrate you. Whether you’re balls deep in the girl or not” You threatened, Taehyung wincing slightly before wrapping his arms around you, hugging you tight to his body.

“Gods Iris, I promise not to leave you. I just wanna spend the night having fun with my best friend” Taehyung promises, placing a soft kiss onto your temple and silently you wonder just what you’ve gotten yourself into.

A couple hours later, you find yourself sitting beside a bonfire, surrounded by various other people in your year who are graduating with you. True to his word, Taehyung has refused to leave your side; even when girls come over to try and lure him from you. Taehyung, however, obediently stays by your side. Which is why, you find yourself seated on the grass, Taehyung sitting behind you on one of the makeshift seats. Your back is pressed tightly against his chest, one of his arms is loosely thrown around your body and this you’re completely encompassed by his warmth. You’re so close to Taehyung that you can feel the deep rumbles of his laughter more than you can hear it.

“I can’t believe we’re finally graduating from this hell hole of a school. I honestly didn’t even think we’d make it this far” Park Jimin, Taehyung’s other best friend and self-proclaimed soulmate laments and you roll your eyes at him, throwing some grass at him.

“Agreed on the hell hole, but didn’t you love school? You were one of the best students in our year, not to mention school president ever since you set foot in Busan High” You teased and Jimin looks at you with wide eyes, full of shock and mock betrayal.

“Hey! Just because I excelled at school, doesn’t mean I didn’t think it was a hell hole. I can’t wait to go to university and study dance. Goodbye maths, goodbye science” Jimin cheers victoriously and you snort at him.

“Weren’t you top of the class in maths and science?” You snicker and Jimin slams the ground with his small palms in mock rage, pointing at you accusatorily.

“YAH! Stop pocking holes in my story and let me whine in peace” Jimin yells and you snicker.

“Sorry Jiminie, please Mr. School President, tell us all about how much you hated school and are glad to be moving onto university” You tease and this time Jimin turns to Taehyung.

“Yah, Taehyung, control your girl” Jimin complains and you immediately freeze, wondering why your heart skips a beat and begins racing at the speed of hummingbird wings. You except Taehyung to rebuff and correct Jimin, but all he does is chuckle and you can feel the deep baritone sound against your back; the feeling only serving to speed up your heartbeat further.

“Iris does whatever she wants Jiminie, if I can’t stop her teasing me, I don’t know how I’m supposed to stop her teasing you” Taehyung chortles and you wince slightly, your skin suddenly feeling very flushed.

“Hey! It’s started!” Someone calls out, pointing up at the sky. All your attention is drawn towards the sky and this time, your breath is taken away by the beautiful display of sparks lighting up the sky. The intense kaleidoscopic display fills up the entire night sky, loud booms and high whistling filling the night air as they continuously go off. Hues of every shade fill your vision, blues, greens, oranges, reds, golds and so many more and you completely lose yourself in this sight of it all.

“____, look! It’s so beautiful! Hey, that one was purple and yellow, those are our favourite colours!” Taehyung says, bouncing with delight. Your face softens slightly. No matter how old he got, Taehyung never lost his childlike innocence and playfulness. You feel his giddiness course through your veins and it only causes your heart to flutter more. You try and focus on the lights, aweing and oohing along with everyone else. But then, Taehyung wraps his arms tighter around your body, pulling you closer into his embrace and briefly you feel him nuzzle his nose in your hair; breathing in your scent, but you’re positiveyou’ve made it up. And  then, he says something that has you breaking out of your stupor.

“I’m glad you’re here with me. I wouldn’t want to share this with anyone else” Taehyung whispers into your hair and you snap your head to face him, almost giving yourself whiplash. However, when you come face to face with him, his attention is already back on the sky. But now, your attention is solely focused on him.

His skin glows in the dim amber flames of the bonfire, and every now the flashes of the fireworks illume him even more. For the second time in your life, you’re completely floored by how trulybeautifulKim Taehyung is. Once again, your heart aches but this time you know exactly how you feel. Because for an entire year now you’ve questioned whether your feelings were completely platonic. And now, in this very moment, with the prismatic explosion of colour in the background, you sincerely understand the depth of the emotions you feel for your best friend. Taehyung is all the things you feel when fireworks illuminate the sky.

You finally realise, that you are completely, utterly and irrevocably in love with Kim Taehyung.

{End of Flashback}

After that day, your relationship with Taehyung had somewhat changed. Not on his end obviously, but more on yours. Every time he did something sweet, your heart would cinch. Every compliment, every flirtatious comment, every term of endearment, drove you wild. There were times you wanted to scream and run, there were times when you wanted to grab him by the collar and kiss him senseless, confessing your love for him. But instead, you kept everything bottled up and loved him from far.

There is very little you wouldn’t give to go back in time to that very moment and yell at yourself to not do it. To not fall in love with him. Taehyung had never had a relationship. He was always a lone fuckboy who spent more time running from commitment than he did between girls’ legs. Which, considering just howmany people he’d bedded, was a lotof time running from commitment. There was a time, when Taehyung was a hopeless romantic. A time when he dreamt about meeting the one and falling in love. A time when he spent dreaming about a marriage, children and a white picket fence. That had all changed when his parents had split up and his entire world had crashed around him, leaving a disillusioned boy with major commitment and trust issues.

Taehyung never being in a relationship had made life so much easier for you. Sure, you had to deal with him sleeping around, but you never had to deal with him being in love or seeing someone else. For a very long time, the only constant female in Taehyung’s life was you. Secretly, you had loved it because it meant, that in a weird twisted way, Taehyung was yours and only yours. The girl he ran to with problems, the girl he took on ‘dates’, the girl he spent valentines with. Every important moment was spent with you. You were the one he always ran to at the end of the day and you had loved it, cherished it. Held it close to your heart.

But nothing lasted forever. Everything was fleeting and a couple years after falling in love with him, you soon realised that Taehyung’s solo career was also temporary.

{Flashback November 2017}

You sit on the sofa, casually flicking through the different films and series on Netflix, looking for something, anythingto watch and cure your boredom as you slurp on ramen aka your very nutritious and filling dinner for the night. Note your sarcasm. But, it’s what student life was like and you were entirely too poor to complain about it. You’re in your shared flat with Jimin and Taehyung but both boys have made themselves scarce. Jimin had left for dance practice twenty minutes ago and Taehyung had been out the entire day.

Deadline season was quickly approaching, which meant that Taehyung had become desperate to find a model for his photography project, especially after putting off the assignment for a month. You had offered and he’d almost taken you up on your offer, until someone finally responded to his flyer. He had quickly apologised for almost ‘forcing’ you into working with him, kissed your forehead and had then run out. A part of you had felt dejected but you quickly brushed those feelings off. And now here you were, all by your lonesome, scrolling endlessly through Netflix. Ten minutes later, you’re ready to give up and head to bed, when the door bursts open and Taehyung enters.

You regard him with weariness, wondering why he looks so happy. His eyes are sparkling and his lips are pulled into a wide smile. His shoulders are shaking, he’s giddy, and full of that childlike exuberance you love so much and despite yourself, somehow, he manages to cause you to fall in love all over again. A feat you thought completely impossible. And yet, there he was proving you wrong all over again. He walks up to you and throws himself on the sofa next to you. You raise an eyebrow at him and briefly wonder why he’s so happy.

“The best thing happened to me. I think I’m cured” Taehyung says cheerily and now you’re definitely intrigued. What could have happened in the few hours that he was gone to get him so happy? You hadn’t ever seen him like this, at least, not since the divorce.

“I take it, your photography project went well? Got all the shots you needed?” You ask and Taehyung nods enthusiastically, but you sense it’s more than that.

“Oh, what is it? Why are you so excited? And cured of what?” You ask, but now, looking back, you wished you had left. You wished you had gone to bed earlier. You wished you had been his model because nothingcould have prepared you for the words that spilled out his mouth next.

“It went more than well. There’s a girl in our Art History class, I don’t know if you’ve heard of her, but her name is Choi Hyorin. She’s the one that answered my ad” Taehyung begins and dread begins pooling in your stomach. You want to wave it off because Taehyung’s always been surrounded by girls, but they’ve never lasted more than a one-night stand. You want to think that the dread is because he’s about to go into detail about his little rendezvous but deep down, you know it’s more than that.

“I think I’ve heard of her; she’s the one with the small face, big eyes and long black hair, right?” You ask and Taehyung nods enthusiastically.

“Yes! So, we did a few shots, and I don’t know how I never noticed how cute she was. We spent the entire day going around looking for the best place to take the photos. We went to parks, graffitied buildings, rooftops. Anywhere with aesthetic shots and I shit you not, everypicture was beautiful. And she’sso beautiful, not to mention funny and oh my gods, ____, we have the exact same interests! I’ve never met anyone like her, we just clickedand never once did I even think of fucking and ditching her. We click on so many things, she loves blues, RnB and jazz, her favourite artist is Van Gogh and she loves H.E.R. as well. I loved spending every moment with her and we’re even meeting again in a couple days to head to that jazz night in the karaoke bar” Taehyung gushes and rants and each and every word is like a dagger to your quickly plummeting heart. You feel like your entire world is falling apart and you want nothing more than to run into your room and cocoon yourself in your sheets and never come out again, but Taehyung continues ranting and raving about how amazing she was and how she has the cutest laugh, and the way her eyes sparkle in the setting sun and the way she feels against him. He goes on and on for what feels like hours and you can do nothing more than smile and nod, despite how much your heart is breaking; because you are nothingbut his best friend and it’s your job to listen to him.

He doesn’t know what you feel for him.

He doesn’t know how much he owns your heart.

He doesn’t know that his next words break that very same heart.

“____, I’m telling you. I’ve never felt like this about anyone in my entire life. I… I honestly believe she’s the one. I think she’s the girl of my dreams. I know I’ve sworn of love and relationships because of my parents… but I think she’s the girl to heal those wounds. I think, if it’s her, I can truly love again. Am I crazy?” Taehyung asks, looking at you in wide eyed wonder and you take in a shuddering deep breath. You bottle all your feelings for him and give him your best, brightest smile despite how much it feels like an elephant has stomped all over your chest and you hug him.

“Of course, not Taehyung. If you honestly feel like that, then I’m sure you’re not crazy. I’m glad you found someone that makes you happy” You choke out, internally cheering at how level your voice is. Despite everything, you’re not lying. You areglad he’s found someone. Because even if you were in love with him, at the end of the day, you were his best friend.

And Taehyung’s happiness always comes first.

{End of flashback}

The giggle you heard before once again fills the room and you sink further into your seat. You try hard to block out Hyorin’s giggles, especially since she’s the reason you’re trying to focus on the dreaded lecture notes but it’s hard to do so, especially when it’s followed by Taehyung’s deep chuckles. It’s been fifteen months since Hyorin and Taehyung became a couple. Fifteen whole months of nothing but heartbreak, fake smiles and unrequited love. You had tried so very hard to get over Taehyung, you had dated, fallen into your own trysts of one-night stands, hell you even tried Tinder in a desperate attempt. But no one had ever compared to Taehyung. None of them were as exciting or stole your breath like he did. And so, after ten months, you had given up all hope of ever moving on and instead accepted your condemned fate of forever being in love with your best friend.

However, it had become slightly easier. Despite the tumultuous love you felt for Taehyung, it had become easier. But not because you were accepting of his love for Hyorin. It had become easier because ever since they had gotten together, you and Taehyung had become distant. You had once been the only constant female in Taehyung’s life, but that had changed when he and Hyorin became exclusive. Suddenly, that position was no longer reserved for you, but for her.

Now he spent valentine’s day with her, he took her on dates, he bought her meaningful Christmas gifts, spent his birthday with her and only her. She was the girl he now ran to and the girl who dealt with his problems. It hadn’t started out like that, he had made a lot of time for you. Promised things would never change and that you’d always be the number one girl in his life. But that was the thing about relationships. When a new person was added, it always changed. There was no way it couldn’t. He had tried. He really had and you couldn’t fault him for it. Because he hadtried to balance you both, but at the end of the day, she always took precedence and slowly, you began drifting.

He spent less time with you, and spent more time with her. He spent less time speaking and texting you, and spent more time texting and speaking to her. And now, he spent more time at her apartment than he spent in the home he shared with you and Jimin. You lived with Taehyung and yet the most you’d seen him was in your shared Art History class. And yet, you couldn’t fault him for anything because she’s the one. You watch as he throws his arm around her shoulder, pulling her in closer to him. You see the way he smiles at her, his eyes filled with nothing but adoration. You see it all.

Taehyung is completely, utterly and irrevocably in love.

But not with you.

“Gods, are you okay, ____? You look a right mess” Jimin says as he enters your room and you glare at him.

“I’m fine Jimin, what do you want?” You ask and Jimin shrugs, entering your room and sitting on your bed. Ever since you moved in with him and Taehyung, you and Jimin had grown a lot closer. Sure, your friendship never matched the one you had with Taehyung, but you were close nevertheless.

“Nothing really, Taehyung is out with Hyorin and I’m bored. That’s like the fifth time this month he’s ditched me for her” Jimin pouts and you wince slightly because the last thing you want right now, especially since Taehyung hadn’t even madeplans with you for over three weeks.

You quieten down and become maudlin. Distance with Taehyung is something you have become awfully familiar with. Something you never thought you’d have to become familiar with. But you’re feeling particularly morose today and you’re plunged into the ‘what ifs’. What if you had confessed to Taehyung, what if youhad modelled for his art project instead of Hyorin. What if you had never met him?These are the thoughts that fill your head currently. What ifs are dangerous territory and your thoughts only serve in causing you to sink further into heartbreak. You miss Taehyung. You miss the friendship dates, you miss visits to cafes and museums, you miss his stupid pickup lines and flirtatious comments. But most of all, you miss him. You miss your best friend more than anything.

“You look like you’re about to cry” Jimin says, breaking you out of your thoughts and you suck in a sharp breath, blinking away the tears in your eyes. When had you even began welling up?

“Should I call Taehyung?” Jimin asks and you quickly shake your head, curling your fists around your sheets are you tried to get your emotions back in check.

“Please don’t” You whisper and Jimin hums in thought.

“Because he’s the reason you’re crying?” Jimin asks and you snap your head towards him. Your breath hitches in fear as you stare at him in wide eyed panic but Jimin just shrugs nonchalantly, sending you a knowing look.

“Please, I know how you feel about him. Everyone knows it. You know it, I know it, the entire campus knows it. The only person who doesn’t is Taehyung” Jimin says and you let out a choked sound, trying to find the words to deny his claims.

“Please don’t try and deny it. Don’t insult my intelligence like that. Everyone knows.And yes, that everyone includes Hyorin” Jimin replies and your eyebrows furrow.

“What do you mean?” You ask and Jimin lets out a bemused chuckle.

“Why do you think you and Taehyung have barely been spending time together? She knew and she was jealous. She knew you loved him and she knew that Taehyung and your friendship was something special. So, she tried to monopolise his time as much as possible. And surprise, surprise it worked. There were times he wanted to hang out with you, but she asked him on those days and he said yes. It only worked because you were so willing to let him go. Because at some point, you stopped fighting her for his time and attention” Jimin said and you stammer, unsure of what to make of things.

“Y-You mean he chose her? Over me? As in, there were days when he wanted to spend time with me, but chose to spend time with her instead?” You ask, fearing his answer.

“I guess you could see it like that yeah” Jimin says and despair fills your ever fibre. You had always assumed that Taehyung’s distance had been because he was consumed by Hyorin. You had never once thought that Taehyung if given the option to spend time with you, Taehyung would still choose her. Mainly because you thought you meant more to him than that. You let out a small sob, tears welling in your eyes and Jimin looks at you sadly.

“I’m sorry ____. But I have watched you be in love with my idiot of a best friend for years. And he was too stupid to realise he loved you too” Jimin says sadly and you snort,  looking at him in cynicism.

“Oh yeah, Taehyung in love with me. Please Jimin, next joke” You sneer out and Jimin lets out a humourless laugh.

“Please. He did. I know he did. Every time you’d sleep with someone, or date someone, he’d get angry and overprotective. There were times when he even threatened guys to stay away from you. You don’t do that for justa best friend. He loved you. He loves you. He’s just too much of an idiot to see it but when he and Hyorin break up, he’ll realise how much he loves you and what he lost. Trust me” Jimin says and you shake your head, sneering once again.

“Please don’t lie to me Jimin, he never loved me and never could. I’m not her” You reply, your tone full of defeat and Jimin lets out a shriek of frustration.

“Stop that! I know Taehyung. I know him better than anyone and that may not include you, but your judgement is clouded by your feelings. I have watched you idiots be in love with each other for so long. But Hyorin comes and Taehyung being theidiothe is decides to think with his dick and convince himself he’s in love with her when he’s not. I have watched you love him this entire time, I have watched him break your heart. I have watched him slowly destroy you and turn you into the shell of a person you once were. And I’m tired. I love him but I’m sorry to say that your love is wasted on him. He doesn’t deserve it. You are a beautiful, vibrant girl. A girl whose love is better spent on someone else. It’s time you moved on” Jimin rants and you scoff at him.

“Easy for you to say that. I’ve tried that and it didn’t work” You sneer and Jimin shakes his head. He get up and heads to your closet; you watch in confusion as he pulls out an outfit and lays it on your bed.

“Well you’re going to try again. Get up and shower, we’re going out. I’m not going to sit by and watch you slowly break apart anymore. I care about you too much for that” Jimin says and you let out a small sigh.

“Jimin it’s not going to work. I’ve tried the getting under someone else approach” You say and he looks at you in annoyance.

“Well you’re going to try harder. I’m not taking no for an answer. Get up and shower. Now” Jimin’s tone is final and you know him well enough to know that you’re not winning this battle. So, you let out a small groan and grab the clothes he’d laid out, grumbling to yourself as you pop into the shower.

“Cheers!” Jimin says, clinking his shot glass against yours before you wrap your lips around the rim and down it in one go. You wince slightly at the taste of tequila searing down your throat before shaking your head. You were already four shots deep and the alcohol was blurring your mind, the haze surrounding you and making you feel happier and lighter than you had in a while. You still have your wits about you and you’re nowhere close to being drunk but it’s enough to take off the nervous edge. The music was pounding in your ear drums and you could feel the bass vibrate through your entire body, your hips moving slowly to the rhythm despite yourself.

“Alright, let’s find you someone to go home with” Jimin says, the two of you turning around to scout the different guys.

“What about him?” You point out and Jimin shakes his head.

“That’s Jung Hoseok, he’s a year above me and in my dance classes. He’s seeing someone called Sooyun or something” Jimin says and you sigh before you continue looking around.

“How about him?” You ask pointing out another guy.

“Yoongi-hyung? No, he’s gay and probably dragged here by Hoseokie-hyung. Why do we know so many people who are here?” Jimin asks with a sigh and you giggle.

“Because this club is popular in our university. Hey, how about that guy?” You say, pointing out to someone else.

“Ah, Kim Yugyeom. He’s also in my dance class but he’s single and loves to sleep around. No strings attached and from what I’ve heard a good lay. Go for it” Jimin says and you smile brightly at him before looking swigging your next shot. You begin walking towards him and soon he spots you walking towards him. He gives you a wide grin and winks, and before you know it, you’re face to chest with the tall boy. Yugyeom immediately grips you by the waist and begins moving his hips, body rolling against you.

The way he moves is sinful and you throw caution to the wind. You close your eyes and grind against him, head thrown just under his shoulder as you move your ass against his hips. Yugyeom’s hands move to your hips and his fingertips grip onto them, fingers bruising. He swirls his hips particularly hard, pressing his crotch against your ass as his lips trail along your neck, pressing soft kisses against it. You let out a moan that gets lost in the noise of the club but Yugyeom feels the vibration. He spins you around, arm wrapping around your back as he continues grinding against you. His lips slowly begin descending on yours and just when they meet, you’re roughly pulled apart.

You turn around in shock and your eyes widen when you’re met face to face with a very angry Taehyung. He’s glaring at the slightly taller man before pushing Yugyeom off of you. You splutter, unsure what to say and frantically look around for Jimin but he’s nowhere to be seen. Taehyung grabs you by the wrist and begins pulling you out of the club. You try to break free but Taehyung turns around and glares at you and immediately you feel weak and dejected. You allow him to slowly drag him out of the club. He hails a taxi and puts you in before getting in on the other side. The entire drive is tense and you have so many questions. But instead, you sit in silence, stewing over the events. The more time passes and the more time you have to think about it, only serves to make you angry. You were so ready to move on and he just had to ruin it. Where did he even come from? Wasn’t he with Hyorin in the first place?

You soon reach your apartment building and the two of you get out. Taehyung walks ahead of you, stalking into the building, simply expecting you to follow him. You glare at his back in anger, stomping after him and with each step to your shared flat, your anger rises. Soon, you’re stood in front of your flat door, glaring daggers into Taehyung’s back as you seethe. If looks could kill, he’d be dead thrice over. He unlocks the door and opens it with a slam, beckoning you in with a look. You stomp inside throwing your purse onto the table before turning around and pointing at him.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing Kim Taehyung?” You seethe, your voice barely above a whisper. The shots are taking more effect and you’re feeling bold enough to fight with him.

“Saving you. What the fuck were you doing there? I went out with some friends, I didn’t expect you to be there. Why were you dancing with Yugyeom? Do you not know he’s a fuckboy?” Taehyung asks and you scoff.

“Yes I did! I was tryingto fuck him! What is it to you?” You shriek and Taehyung sneers at you.

“That’s not who you are. You don’t just fuck around” Taehyung jeers and you have the irresistible urge to throttle him.

“That’s fucking rich coming from you. You used to do it all the fucking time. Suddenly, I’m not allowed to sleep around?” You throw back and Taehyung reels, his eyes turning into slits.

“Don’t you dare. It was different with me. You don’t get to sleep around” Taehyung says and your eyes widen, body shaking with rage.

“Excuse me? Who the fuck do you think you are? You don’t get to tell me what I can and can’t do. If I want to sleep with the next fifty guys I see, I damn well will. Who the fuck are you to tell me no?” You scream and Taehyung slams his fist on a table.

“I’m your best fucking friend! I can’t stand seeing you with others. Especially when they don’t fucking deserve you” Taehyung shouts and you sneer.

“Abest friend. Justa best friend Kim Taehyung. So news flash, that means you don’t get to decide who is good for me or not. I decide that. You being my best friend doesn’t mean you get to tell me who I fuck. And you can’t keep boys away from me forever. If I want to fuck Yugyeom I will. Hell, Jimin knows him. I could still ask him for Yugyeom’s number” You say with a mocking tone, daring him to challenge you.

“Oh, I don’t fucking think so. Not if I have any say in it” Taehyung says, stalking towards you, his eyes glinting in the low light.

“Well, you don’tfucking have a say in it. Now move out of my way” You say, and Taehyung growls at you.

“I said no. You’re not fucking Yugyeom” Taehyung grits out, teeth clenched.

“WHY THE FUCK NOT?” You scream and Taehyung pushes you up against the wall, his breathing heavy as he glares down at you.

“Because you’re fucking mine” Taehyung growls and you freeze in shock but you don’t have enough time to process his words because the next moments, his lips are locked against yours. Taehyung’s hands pinned yours against the wall his other hand wandering all over your body as he kissed you fervently. You moan in response, breaking out of his grasp as his other hand moves to hold your cheek, your own hands tangling into Taehyung’s hair and tugging on it, pulling him closer towards you.

This was wrong. You knew this was wrong, but Jimin’s previous words about Taehyung being in love with you and his possessiveness had given you a small inkling of hope; and with every kiss and soft moan, that small inkling was building into a raging fire. He tasted of soju and coffee, the taste almost intoxicating. You know that alcohol was most likely clouding both your judgement, and that Taehyung was very much in a relationship. But with every passing moment locked in his embrace, those doubts and warnings disappeared, leaving you with nothing but a racing heart and a stomach full of heat. You pressed your body against Taehyung’s, pressed your lips harder against his as you poured out all your feelings into the kiss.

Taehyung let out a soft growl before reaching behind your back and unzipping your dress. He let it fall to the ground, the dress pooling around your feet, leaving you in your semi-soaked panties and no bra. You attempted to kick off your heels but Taehyung growled his disagreement and you let out a small giggle. You jumped up slightly, Taehyung easily catching you as you wrapped your legs around his waist, grinding your cloth-covered core against his own hardened cock. Taehyung let out a soft whine before he carried you towards your bedroom; your lips quickly breaking apart as he trailed kisses down your neck.

He tossed you onto the bed, before kneeling beside you. He stared down at you with intense dark eyes, eyes flitting over your body. You were flushed underneath him, your chest heaving as you breathed heavily, attempting to get your breathing under check. His eyes traced your body, from your collarbones, across your chest, groaning when your nipples hardened under his stare, forming twin peaks. He continued his perusal off your body, down your stomach and towards your hips and thighs. Your knees are slightly spread, giving him a hint of the arousal-soaked panties clinging to your core and leaving nothing to imagination. Taehyung licked his lips before he descended back down, picking your leg up.

He placed a small kiss on your ankle before trailing his lips up your leg, placing another kiss on your knee then your inner thigh. His lips trailed across your hips, his tongue tracing the bone before he kissed his way up to your belly button, circling and dipping hi wet appendage into it, causing you to arch your back and moan, begging him to stop teasing you. With every one of his ministrations, your heart ached. You briefly wondered if he fucked Hyorin like this, if we paid this much attention to her. You slightly shook your head, trying to push those damning thoughts out of your mind as you focused on Taehyung’s attention on your body.

Taehyung smirked against your skin. He continued up your body nuzzling the valley of your breasts and placing a tender kiss on your sternum. Continuing his worship of you, he brushed his lips against your collarbones, sucking on them slightly before running his nose up the length of your neck, placing soft kisses along your throat. Finally, he reached your lips, bending down and capturing your mouth once again with his. You gasped as one of his hands brushed up from your leg to grip your hip tightly. Taehyung used your gasp to his advantage, forcing his tongue into your mouth and massaging your own tongue with his. You moaned at the taste that was wholly him, pushing your lip even harder against his, trying to meld both of you into one being.

"Gods ____, you're so beautiful, " Taehyung whispered against your ear, biting the shell and tugging it slightly. Your heart plummets in your chest because it’s been sovery long since you’ve heard those words come out of his mouth and his tone is filled with so much emotion. Instead of responding you shake your head and pull him against you once more. If this was the only time, if this was your only chance with him, you didn’t want to waste it with meaningless words that would disappear when the sun rose and he returned to her.

“Stop talking Taehyung and just fuck me” You whisper, your tone pleading and filled with desperation as you stare into his lust filled eyes. Taehyung lets out a lazy boxy smile and you ignore the small lurch in your heart as he regards you with pure love. Once again, you wonder how many times Hyorin has seen this exact sight.

“Gladly Iris” Taehyung responds and you take in a shuddering breath, hoping it passes off for lust and not for the heartache you were really feeling. He bent his head forward and struck out his tongue, flicking your hardened nipple. You shuddered against his lips, this time with lust, causing him to smile before he pulled the nipple into his mouth, rolling it between his teeth while sucking on it. His hand moved from your hip to your other breast, kneading the mound in his hands before pinching and pulling your nipple, you moaned at the slight pain and Taehyung let out a wicked grin against your breast before once again tugging harshly again on the sensitive nipple. His lips moaned against your other breast and you felt the vibrations rush through your nerves and straight to your core, making your wetter. You brought your hands up to his head, your nails scratching his scalp as you hissed at him in pleasure. Taehyung let go off your nipple with a pop before attaching onto the next one and resuming his actions.

"Taehyung please, more. I need more. I need your mouth on me" You groaned, arching your back.

“You’re such a sin, a beautiful sin that belongs to no one else but me” Taehyung whispers before kissing down your stomach. You spread your legs wider, causing him to grin as he took in the sight of the darkened material clinging to your slit. The smell of your arousal was so strong he was almost lost himself further into the intoxication of alcohol and your scent, the combination driving him crazy with need. His member leaked against his boxers, his trousers becoming entirely too tight.

He leaned forward, licking your covered slit, making you whimper in pleasure. Taehyung smirked before repeating himself over and over again, teasing you endlessly, until you were thrashing around, grinding your core against his face, lashing, gyrating, doing anything that would stop his hellish teasing and cause more friction. Taehyung finally relented sucking your panty covered clit into his mouth, you let out a strangled scream as your bundle of nerves were finally stimulated. You screamed his name as Taehyung repeatedly sucked and lashed at your clit with his tongue until you finally came. You let out another incoherent scream as your hips lifted of the bed. Taehyung attached himself to your clit again sucking and drawing out your orgasm as he watched your eyes roll back. Taehyung sat up as you came down from your high, grinning down at you wickedly.

“Did I just make you cum from having your panties licked?” Taehyung teased and you let out a small whine when he pressed his thumb against your covered slit, rubbing up and down and spreading your wetness even more. You were almost positive you could never wear these again, they were wellpassed ruin.

"Great, now my panties are completely soaked" You pouted and Taehyung let out a small giggle, kisses the corner of your mouth as he tried to push your pout away. Once again, your heart cinches and you almost turn away, trying to blink away the tears. He far too attentive, too soft and too loving. Every action is filled with love and adoration and it both drives you wild and making you want to break down into a fit of sobs, because you know that as soon as daylight strikes, he’ll be far gone from you.

"Just how I like them," He replied with a wicked grin, drawing you back from your impending breakdown. You push away the thoughts once again and your eyes darkened with lust as you watched him slowly strip above you. Long, dextrous fingers move smoothly as he unbuttons and divests himself off his shirt, leaving nothing but a smooth expanse of tanned skin. Your eyes trail over his wide shoulders, before tracing down his body, dark nipples hard in the cold of his room and soft belly with small rolls making your heart hurt. You always loved Taehyung’s soft belly, so completely different from most guys with hard abs. So completely him.

You need to stop these treacherous thoughts. You can’t fall more in love with him and you need to somehow distract yourself. So, you use what little strength you have and flip him over. Taehyung lets out a choked yelp of surprise and quickly moves to push you until you begin trailing down his body. You press small kisses against the waistband of his trousers. You slowly unbutton them before pulling them down his legs, along with his boxers. His cock spring up and you jerk backwards, eyes wide at the sheer size of it.

It's beautiful. Long and so very thick, something you definitely were not expecting. His cock is smooth and tan, perfectly veined and his purple cockhead is angry and weeping with precum. He leaks down his own tip and cock and your mouth waters at the sheer sight of it all. You smiled at the large member, licking your lips as you imagined the way it would fill your mouth and the way it’ll no doubt stretch your pussy later. You kissed the base before kissing up the length until you reached the tip, licking the leaking head and almost moaning at the salted, tangy taste of him on your lips. You’re addicted. You know you are.

You grabbed the middle of his shaft gently and rubbed the tip along your lips, almost as if applying lipstick. Taehyung groans as you pleasured his frenulum before letting out a shark breath of air as you sucked on the tip, the tongue flicking against the tip over and over again. You slowly took the head in until the cockhead was completely in your mouth and then you began sucking. Hard. Taehyung gasped out, his fingers twisting into your long hair and trying to push your further down. However, you held still, sucking on the tip as you swirled your tongue around the tip causing Taehyung to buck his hips.

"Fuck, ____" Taehyung hissed, and you smiled at the begging, pleading tone that occupies his voice. You decide to have some sort of mercy on him and begin taking the rest of his thick, long cock in your mouth. Your jaw aches and you’ve barely taken any of his cock and he’s already hitting the back of your throat, but you refuse to give up. Inch by inch, you continue swallowing him down your throat and when he hits your gag reflex to choke slightly and hold still. Tears pull in your eyes but you calm down, breath as much as you can through your nose before you swallow. Taehyung let’s out a choked groan, bucking slightly into you as slowly swallow him whole. You internally cheer victoriously when your nose hits against the wiry dark hair around his crotch, trimmed neatly.

"God yes, take that cock in," Taehyung moaned, holding your head as you gagged on his engorged dick. You started bobbing up and down, Taehyung helping as he thrust up and into your mouth, you smiled against his dick before moving one hand down to his balls, raking your long fingers along the tender flesh.

"Shit yes" Taehyung murmured in pleasure. While sucking on his dick, you ran your hot tongue along the base of his dick, right in the middle causing Taehyung to shudder and hiss once again as your teeth raked against the base all the way to his tip. Taehyung was elated from the feeling of your hot, warm and silky mouth around his dick. He felt the coil in his abdomen winding tighter and tighter as his orgasm approached.

"I'm coming baby, that's it. Yes! Make me cum" Taehyung groaned, bucking his hips erratically and fucking your mouth while you continued bobbing your head up and down, gagging every now and then. You felt his dick swell and let his cock go with a pop before sucking one of his balls into your mouth, Taehyung yelling in pleasure as your fist pumped his dick up and down.

"Cumming. Fuck I'm cumming. Fuck, sweetheart swallow my cum" Taehyung orders and you quickly released his balls from your mouth to wrap around the tip of his dick, taking it all in once again as his cum rushed out of his dick and down your throat. You moaned at the slightly salty taste of his cum, drinking it down as he continued to spill it into your throat while you continued lightly massaging his balls. Several pumps later, Taehyung was finally done and you came of his dick, licking your lips and grinning up at him. Taehyung stared at you through lidded eyes before beckoning you up.

"F-face. Sit on my face" Taehyung gasped out as he came down from his orgasm induced high. You quickly shimmied out of your underwear before crawling over him, not needing to be told twice. You swung one of your knees over his head being careful not to accidentally hit him until your legs were spread over his face, Taehyung stared at your folds, licking his lips at the completely soaked lips and your quivering pussy, almost dripping on his face.

"God are you always this wet? You tasted so sweet before, I wonder whether you taste better straight from that sweet, sweet cunt" Taehyung whispered against your pussy before tugging your slit into his mouth.

"Only for you Taehyung. Always for you" You confessed into the night, your voice low, before you bent backwards, placing one of your hands on his chest, the other moving up to play with your breasts. You didn’t think you were loud enough for him to hear you. But he does.

"You're damn right. No one else will ever see you like this. You're mine" Taehyung growled possessively against your slit, and you close your eyes, glad that he can’t see the pain etched onto your face. You stare up at the ceiling, blinking out the tears of despair, something you shouldn’t be doing when Taehyung is buried face deep between your legs. But you can’t control it. You swallow thickly and bite your lips.

“Just make me cum” You choke out, you want to walk away. But Taehyung is like a drug and instead you find yourself falling deeper and deeper into him. The small part of you wonders and hopes, that maybe after all this is done, maybe he may stay. Maybe Jimin was right and Taehyung really loved you, and was too blind to see it. Maybe you could show him, you were the one for him.

“Don’t worry Iris, you’ll be coming so many times you’ll be begging me to stop by the end of the night” Taehyung promises ominously from under your folds, swatting your ass as he did so.

He pointed his tongue and licked it up and down your slit, parting your folds slightly. You ground your hips, trying to get him to enter your as you rolled your nipples between your fingers. Taehyung moved his hands to hold your hips still as he continued teasing you. He pulled your folds into his mouth, teeth raking over the sensitive flesh causing you to shriek in pleasure and increase your efforts in moving your hips. Taehyung nuzzled your clit with his nose before parting your lips slightly and harshly licking a line from your core to your clit before sucking on the bundle of nerves. You were dripping all over his face, your pussy quivering as your best friend worked his sinful magic with his tongue. He lapped at your clit over and over again causing before nibbling slowly on the bundle and you let out a small shriek as you begin cumming all over his tongue.

"Taehyung!" You screamed, Taehyung let go of your hips causing you to buck wildly into his mouth.

As you were coming down from your orgasm, he moved his hands and used his thumbs to spread your lips and stuck his tongue into your core, swirling his tongue before thrusting it in and out, tasting your sweet nectar as the thick juices coated his tongue. You tasted so sweet, almost like the forbidden nectar of the gods. He groaned against you, your pussy clamping around his tongue from your orgasm. Taehyung moved one of his hands to your clit, pinching and pulling on it as he tried to get your to cum again. You screamed as he tugged harshly on your little pearl, falling forward and gripping tightly onto the headboard.

“Stop, oh gods Taehyung please stop” You beg, but Taehyung just thrusts two fingers into you. You wince slightly at the stretch but begin losing yourself into your third, almost painful orgasm from your still sensitive quivering lips as Taehyung thrusts his fingers in wildly, angling them to hit your g-spot with each thrust.

“Beg” Taehyung demands and you fall forward, gripping onto the bed frame as you shake violently over him, thighs quaking on either side of his head. Your eyes roll back into your skull and you try to move away, but one of Taehyung’s hand grips you ass tightly, holding you near him.

“I said beg” Taehyung once against demands, lips vibrating and causing you to shriek in pleasure once again. He pinches your clit with his thumb and forefinger and its more than you can take.

“FUCK! Taehyung! Taehyung make me cum, please. Please I can’t. I need you to make me cum” You sob and Taehyung smirks against your folds at your words.

Taehyung moved his lips to your clit, thrusting his two fingers into your core with newfound energy, twisting and pumping them in. He felt the spongy tissue of your g-spot and grinned before biting down lightly on your clit as he rubbed your g-spot. You stilled above him, your knuckles white as you clenched the headboard. Then with a loud, incoherent scream you gushed all over his tongue, the pain of him biting your clit, the over sensitisation of your sex and pleasure of his fingers against your g-spot making your squirt all over his mouth. Taehyung groaned, moving his mouth over your lips and sucking them as you flooded his mouth. You breathed heavily before falling down and rolling off of him, being careful not to suffocate him with your dripping slit. Although Taehyung couldn't think of a better way to die. You hit your head on the pillow, chest heaving, breasts jiggling slightly as the waves of pleasure continued to rush through your body. Your body convulsed and you shut your thighs as tears dripped down your cheeks.

"We're not done yet baby" Taehyung said softly, brushing the matted hair out of your eyes, taking in the sight of you glistening from sweat and still in the aftershocks of your orgasm. His hands wandered up your knees and spread them before he crawled in between.

"I love you, so much" Taehyung whispers quietly and your heart races and soars at his admission. Hope once against ignites in your chest, especially when he kissed your forehead before slowly entering you. He rubs his cockhead against your entrance and slowly begins pushing in. You let out a small whimper when his sheer girth begins stretching you out. You wince, but lay still, letting him slowly fuck you open with his massive cock. When he’s finally buried deep inside you, you almost feel sick, he’s so deep he’s buried in your guts but you would have it no other way. You feel more connected to him than you ever have and you know after this, you’re completely ruined for anyone else. Taehyung moans in pleasure as your velvety walls wrapped around him.

"I love you too Taehyung. Always. It’s always been you" You confessed back, a tear slipping down your cheek as you wrap your arms around his neck. Taehyung buried his face into the crook between your throat and collarbones, breathing in your scent, eyes rolling back as your pussy clamped around him and then he begins thrusting. He slowly pulls out, whining when he feels your walls grip around each and every inch before thrusting all the way back in.

"Harder Taehyung, give it to me" You begged, Taehyung smirking as he began to thrust harder and faster. You screamed his name as he moved his arms so they were on either side of your head, bracing all his weight on them. He moved his head so that it was on top of yours, watching as you looked up at him, through half lidded eyes, your face contorted in pleasure as he thrust his cock into your, his pelvic bone brushing against your clit with every thrust.

"I'm going to cum again Taehyung" You whispered hoarsely, throat dry and strained from all your screaming. Taehyung lifted one of your legs and placed it on his shoulder, allowing him to go deeper into you. You hissed in pain; you didn’t think it was possible for him to go any deeper and yet there he was. Your legs were spread wide and he was thrusting so hard and deep that there were hints of pain entangled with the pleasure but you could do nothing except just lay and take it.

"Cum around my cock baby" Taehyung urged, speeding up his thrusts before angling them so he hit your g-spot with every plunge of his cock.

"Fuck" You hissed, arching your back as you came. Taehyung latched onto your breast, sucking and teasing your nipple as you milked his cock. Taehyung flipped you over so you were on top of him, dick still buried deep in your pussy. He placed his hands behind his head, watching your breasts sway as you breathed, completely entranced by the way them moved with every breath.

"Ride me babe" Taehyung urged, you moving your hips slowly, grinding lazily against his dick as you lacked enough energy to do anything else. After a few minutes of the slow pace Taehyung grew impatient and moved his hands to your hips. He lifted you up before pulling your down as he thrust up, plunging his dick as deep as he could. You let out a small yelp as he continued his harsh thrusting. You could feel your orgasm approaching fast, your sensitive walls rubbing against Taehyung' dick, the friction almost too much. The sound of sweaty skin slapping filled the bedroom along with your soft whines and Taehyung’s deep, raspy breaths.

"Are you cumming again baby?" Taehyung questioned as your face twisted, your eyelids closing completely as you threw your head back in pleasure. You fell down, your palms on the bed on either side of his head as you struggled to stay up.

"Yes! I'm cumming again" You moaned, Taehyung smiling as he moved one hand to play with your clit roughly before lifting his neck and suckling on the breast that was dangling in front of his face. His other hand manipulated your hips so that you continued moving. You convulsed on top of him again, your voice cracking as you groaned out his name. Taehyung, however wasn’t finished yet. You hoped to the gods above that he was close because you were running out of fumes at this point. No wonder he had a reputation, his stamina was almost unmatched. Taehyung turned you over so you were on your knees. Even he could tell you were nearing your end, both from your heavy breathing and the way your head was resting against the pillow, your ass sticking up into the air. Taehyung grabbed your hips and entered again, you letting out a soft moan, both in pain and pleasure as your swollen pussy gripped and rippled against him uncontrollably.

"Taehyung… last one?" You gasped out, letting him know that you couldn't go on after this.

"Yeah baby, don't worry this is the last I promise" Taehyung said as he began to thrust into you quickly. You weren’t expecting it and with how wet both you and he were, he slid in so easily that he immediately hit the back of your cervix. You let out a small scream as he began a brutal, punishing pace.

Taehyung reached down and grabbed your hair, pulling your head up causing your back to arch downwards as he continued to thrust into you. He watched your fleshy ass bounce and shake as he thrust into you. He moved his other hand across your back before smacking your ass. You screamed out his name, your walls clamping around his cock causing him to groan at the feeling. Taehyung smirked before he spanked your again. He increased the speed of his thrusts, spanking your ass until it was deep red, you bucking your hips in both pain and pleasure. Taehyung kept his grip on your hair, pulling it as he continued to spank you. He felt his orgasm approaching and knew he wouldn't last long. He let go of your hair before bending over you, the speed of his thrusts decreasing, instead plunging into you with long powerful strokes. He moved his hand to between your thighs, rubbing your clit. You let out a shriek as he thrust in particularly deep. One of his hands moved to rub against your stomach and he groaned low into your ear.

“I’m going to cum soon baby. I’m going to cum and fill this belly with all my cum and you’re going to take it aren’t you? Like my good little cum dump, you’re going to let me breed you. Aren’t you baby?” Taehyung asked, his huge hands splayed across your lower belly as his thumb continued brushing against your clit. His words caused your cunt to grip around him once again as you imagined the feeling of him shooting his cum so deep within you.

“Yes, god yes Taehyung fill me up. I want nothing more” You plead and Taehyung chuckles against your ear.

“Whatever you want sweetheart. I’m going to fill you up so good and watch that pretty little pussy drip with my cum” Taehyung promises before he resumes his brutal pace, pinching and rubbing your clit in hard circles. You stilled once again before you arched off the bed, your whole-body shuddering as you squirted once again, all over Taehyung' dick. Taehyung felt your gush around him and couldn't help himself, the speed and power of his thrusts increased, going as fast as he can while you continued to gush.

"Please! Taehyung please cum in me! I can't take it anymore! Please cum in me! Please just cum" You sob, your voice strained and raspy as you plead. Taehyung presses his chest against hard against your back and thrusts in deep, hitting your cervix once again before cumming in you. His palms grip your hips harshly as he pulls you to him, trying to get in as deep as he can go. He lets out a strained roar as he begins filling you up. His cock spurts out his seed, coating your walls in his cum and filling you up completely. He stays in you for the duration of his orgasm, his dick pulsing and twitching as he rides of the aftershocks of his orgasm. When he’s finally finished, Taehyung pulls out his flaccid dick before falling onto the bed, completely spent. You moaned at the feeling of Taehyung' cum dripping out of your before you rolled onto your side, pressed up against his sweaty body.

A small part of you wants to speak about what just happened, but you’re far too exhausted to care at this point so instead, you give into your heavy lids and allow sleep to take you. Taehyung is right next to you as you fall asleep, completely spent and equally passed out. However, your last thought before succumbing to exhaustion is how much you’re dreading what will happen when the sun cums up and the alcohol is out both your systems.

“Oh fuck. Oh, fucking fuck” You hear a voice and you’re immediately roused from sleep. You groan and open your eyes, hissing slightly at the bright light. You sit up and immediately regret your decision as every single one of your muscles protests the movement. You feel stickiness between your legs along with the ache and soreness and immediately you’re wide awake. Last night’s memories come crashing down and you snap your head to the panicking boy, who’s staring at you with horror and regret.

“What the fuck happened last night?” Taehyung rages and you wince at his loud voice. You knewthe alcohol had clouded your judgement and now you were paying the consequences. Of course, it wasn’t all your fault. Taehyung had equally, if not, more of the blame considering he started it from what you recalled. But you were still hoping for something, anythingespecially after his confession last night.

“Well we obviously fucked. Do you not remember?” You ask and Taehyung growls and your heartbeat increases as you remember how he growled at you last night.

“Obviously I fucking remember. God, ____ this is such a mess, what am I going to do?” Taehyung asks and you wonder what he means.

“What do you mean?” You ask stupidly and Taehyung send you a ‘are you serious’ look.

“About Hyorin, ____? What am I supposed to do about Hyorin?” Taehyung asks and you wince.

“Well, you’re going to tell her and break up with her, aren’t you?” You ask and Taehyung scoffs, looking at you as if you had two heads.

“Why would I break up with her? I love her! She can’t know this happened. You can’t tell her. This has to stay between us” Taehyung pleads and you stiffen. Your blood runs cold and you can do nothing but look at him in a completely new light. What did he mean he loved her? Didn’t he confess his love for you yesterday? Was it all just a lie? You can feel the tears well up in your eyes as your heartbreaks for the countless time, all because of Taehyung.

“You… Taehyung how am I supposed to keep this between us? You cheated on your girlfriend. With me. How am I supposed to act as if nothing has changed?” You ask and Taehyung sighs.

“___, it was just sex. Meaningless sex. I love Hyorin. She’s the one I want to marry” Taehyung says and your heart immediately plummets in your chest and suddenly it feels like your chest is caving in and it hurts.Your heart hurtsso much that it’s hard to breathe.

“Mean- Meaningless sex? Taehyung, you told me you loved me” You reply with a broken, almost emotionless voice as your brain tries to comprehend his words.

“I didn’t mean it. At least not in that sense. ____, I’m sorry but last night was a mistake. We were both drinking and we didn’t make the right decisions. I don’t love you. Last night meant nothing” Taehyung says and your worst fears are confirmed.

“But Taehyung, it meant something to me.I love you. I wasn’t lying when I told you I loved you. I loveyou” You heartbrokenly confess and Taehyung lets out a deep sigh.

“I know” Taehyung whispers and your head snaps to him, staring at him with bewilderment and fear.

“What? What did you say? You knew? How did you know?” You ask, your voice louder than before. This could not be happening. Within the space of a few words your life was slowly falling apart.

“I knew. At least, I had an idea. Hyorin told me. I didn’t believe her at first but she was convinced and worried about how I would leave her for you. It’s why we haven’t been spending as much time together. I didn’t want to lead you on and… I love Hyorin” Taehyung confesses and despite how much you want to break down and cry, you grit your teeth.

“Excuse me? Did you… did you just admit that you chose Hyorin over me? Because she was fucking worried about me taking you away from her? And you agreed? I was your best fucking friend Taehyung. Despite how long I have loved you, I have never once stood in the way of your happiness and I would never, neverjeopardise your relationship. How could you? I thought you knew me better than that” You seethe, your voice full of dismay and disbelief.

“Yes, well last night definitely jeopardised my relationship, don’t you think” Taehyung sneers and you find yourself reeling.

“Don’t. Don’t fucking put this all on me. I wasn’t even looking to sleep with you yesterday. You, you fucking did this. I was happily going to go home with Yugyeom until you pulled me away. You have just as much blame in this as me” You fume, pointing an accusatory finger at him.

“Fuck. Okay listen, last night never fucking happened. I’m sorry. I know you love me, but I don’t… I can’tlove you like that. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry and I hope somehow, we can recover from this. But last night was a mistake. I love Hyorin, I’m so fucking in love with her. Last night may have given you hope, but I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean any of my words and I’m so sorry but I regret it all. I don’t want to hurt you, but… I could never love you the way I love her” Taehyung confesses and the last word ring loudly in your head over and over again.

‘I could never love you the way I love her’.

Ten words. Ten whole words strung together with so much meaning. You could never comprehend how much words could rip your life apart. That was until today. Suddenly, you felt completely numb and the ache in your heart simply grows larger and stronger until it is all you can feel. Taehyung is still rambling, but you hear none of it. Instead, all you can hear are those ten words ringing deep in your mind. You need to leave. You need to somehow get out of here or make him leave. You need something, you need space. But most importantly you need him gone.

“Get out” You whisper and Taehyung stops mid rant, looking at you in panic and wide eyed. He notices the blank expression on your face and immediately walks towards you, trying to comfort you. But when his touch once used to soothe the demons in your soul, his touch now simply burns and you can’t help but cowering away. Taehyung’s jerks his hand back, looking at you in fear. You had never once shrunk away from him but here you were, staring at him with an expressionless face and cowering from him and suddenly, he felt as if he were the worst person on this planet. He never wanted to hurt you.

“Iris, I’m sorry” Taehyung begins, but you cut him off with a scoff, blinking away the hot tears.

“Don’t. Don’t call me that. I’m not your Iris, I’m not your anything. Please just leave” You say and your words burn into Taehyung’s being. His eyes are wide and suddenly he wants to cry beside you.

“No, please. Don’t say that. Don’t fucking say that. You’re my Iris, my best friend. ____ please, please don’t run away from me” Taehyung pleads, he wants to reach out and touch you but he knows it’s the last thing you want. You notice your state of undress and suddenly you feel sick and dirty and all you want to do is shower and remove the scent and feel of him off of your skin. You pick up your sheets and cling them tightly to you, as if they are your last line of defence.

“No. No I’m not. Not anymore. I can’t be your best friend anymore, I can’t be your Iris. I don’t think you understand Taehyung. I have been in love with you for six years now. You have owned every inch of my heart for six years and I’m tired. I’m emotionally exhausted and completely drained. I’m tired of you breaking my heart. I thought… I thought I could deal with it, but after yesterday after your words today, I can’t. I love you, but I love myself more. And I need you gone, out of my room and out of my life. Please” You plead and Taehyung feels a sharp pain in his chest at the completely exhaustion and defeat in your voice and the way tears simply fall from your eyes. But you don’t notice them, instead you’re simply staring blankly at him. Except you’re not looking at him, but through him. It’s as if you can’t see him, that he’s completely removed from your life.

“I… I’ll go. But I’m not leaving your life. I’ll leave your room but please. You’re my best friend, I need you. Please don’t leave me” Taehyung pleads but you don’t respond. You’re too tired to respond, so you choose to not say anything. You vaguely register him gathering his clothes before walking towards your bedroom door.

“I need to go see Hyorin… but this conversation isn’t over. I don’t want to lose you” Taehyung says, conviction in his voice and then he leaves. He disappears through the door and it may not seem like it for him, but for you, that’s your final goodbye. By the time you respond, he’s long gone and far from ear shot and your words fall on deaf ears in the silence of your bedroom.

“You’ve already lost me”

In a way, you think you’re lucky that whatever happened, happened at the time it did. You had slept with Taehyung a few days before your university broke up for the holidays. But considering it had happened during the second term, it also meant that you were officially done with classes and all that was left was for you to sit your exams and then graduate. Which consequently meant, that if you played it right, you’d never have to see Taehyung ever again. The decision was hard to make. But as you sat in the quiet of your room, the day Taehyung had walked out after your one-night stand; you decided that you were too tired, too drained to continue loving him. Especially when it was unrequited.

So, you used your newfound heartache and directed it to something productive. You pushed Taehyung and your feelings as far out of your mind as you could and instead you directed all your energy into revising for your finals. You barely spent any time in your apartment, instead choosing to practically live in the library. The only time you were home was to shower and catch some quick sleep but then you were gone. Before anyone noticed you were home. Before Taehyung could find you. You spent the past few months doing nothing but revising and studied and it had all paid off. You had just finished your final exam and it was like a huge weight had been lifted off of your shoulders.

But now that you were done with your exams, you had nothing else to focus on. You had nothing else to run to in order to distract you from your woeful unrequited love. But that didn’t mean you couldn’t run away. You thanked your lucky star that Taehyung’s art and photography exam was about to start, just as you finished, which meant that the house was most likely empty unless Jimin was home. Subsequently, that also meant you had a couple of hours to pack up all your things and move out before anyone could stop you. Sure, you’d have to be back in a few months for the graduation ceremony and then once again to complete your Masters, but for now it was enough time to begin getting over Taehyung. To put even more distance between the two of you. A vacation was exactly what you needed.

You quickly rushed back to your apartment, letting out a breath of relief when you found the home empty. You quickly gathered some boxes and your suitcases, packing everything as quick as you could. Mainly the essentials; you figured you could get the rest of it some other time. Or even have Jimin send them to you. A couple hours later you had packed everything you’d need for a long vacation away and the rest of the stuff were in boxes for you to collect when you were ready. Your flight was booked, even if it had decimated the entirety of your bank account but you figured you could find a job at Jeju Island to get you by. Plus, you had some savings that you could make use of for a few weeks. You grabbed your suitcase and opened your bedroom door but only came face to chest with someone. You steeled yourself and looked up before letting out a shriek of relief.

“Fucking hell! Park Jimin, don’t you ever scare me like that again!” You scream, smacking him in the middle of the chest. Jimin however doesn’t move, instead he’s looking at you with a sad smile.

“You were really going to leave without saying goodbye?” He asks quietly and you feel the pang of guilt in your chest. Jimin was a good man. And an even better friend. He had tried to help you and while you may have not been as close to him as you had been with Taehyung; he was still a friend you cherished. And you’d miss him. You knew you would.

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t take any chances” You say apologetically and Jimin nods before entering. He looks around at the empty room littered with boxes before sitting down on your completely stripped bed.

“I never realised how big and empty this room could be. It looks… dead without all your stuff” Jimin says quietly and you bite your lip, unsure what to say. You need to get out as soon as possible or risk Taehyung coming back and catching you. You assume Jimin notices your shiftiness and restlessness because he lets out a small, humourless chuckle.

“He’s not going to be back for a while don’t worry. He’s out with Hyorin” Jimin says and he spits her name with so much venom that even youwince.

“Jimin… I’m sorry” You whisper and Jimin shakes his head, his shoulders shaking with rage before he explodes.

“No! You’re not the one at fault! It’s Taehyung and that stupid bitch who’s turning him against all his friends. She’s manipulative. So, fucking manipulative and he doesn’t even see it. You know she stopped him from seeing me? I’m a bad influence apparently, just because I bring home a lot of women. It’s not as if he sleeps with them. God, I hate her and now you’re leaving because of her and him and I hate them even more” Jimin fumes and you put your bag down and approach him, hugging him tightly.

“Don’t say that. He’s your best friend and he’s going to need you. I need you to look out for him Jimin. Please, for me” You ask and Jimin shakes his head, fists clenched at his sides.

“No! I don’t want to! He’s pushed you away and he’s going to regret it so fucking much. I know you slept together and I know exactly what happened the next day. I heard it all. These walls are so fucking thin and I fucking heard how he confessed his love and I was so fucking happy. But then I heard what that idiotsaid the next day and how he said it and I know… I fucking knowhow much he broke your heart and he’s a fucking coward. He loves you. I fucking know he does but he’s so far up her ass he can’t even see it. But he’s going to fucking regret it. I know he is. Right now, he thinks he can still make it up with you despite it being three fucking months but he can’t. And now you’re leaving and he’s going to see just how much he fucked up and I’m glad. He’s such a fucking coward and I don’t fucking know who he is anymore.” Jimin seethes, mouth practically foaming in rage and you have no words to calm him down.

“I know. I know this all Jimin but I’m leaving and no matter what he’s done he’s still our best friend and he needs us. He needs youbecause I can’t be here for him anymore. I can’t do it without losing my sanity. But despite it all, I still fucking love him and it hurts. It hurts so much and I need to go away but I can’t if I know he’s alone. So please, Park Jimin, promise me you’ll look after him even if it’s from afar. I know him and I know he’ll try and run after me and he’ll look for me and feel so guilty he won’t be able to sleep or eat, but I needyou to look after him. Make sure he eats, make sure he sleeps, make sure he doesn’t break down. I need you to do that for me, please” You beg, your tone laced with desperation and Jimin sighs before pulling you in for a hug.

“You are a beautiful human being and if there was one thing Taehyung got right, it was that no one deserves you. Not even him. But fine, for you, I’ll look after him. Just make sure you keep in touch? If not with him, with me. It doesn’t have to be often. Just every now and then drop me a text that lets me know you’re alright. Please” Jimin pleads and you nod against his chest, hugging him tighter to you.

“I promise. I have to go now, I’ve got a flight to catch. Take care of Taehyung and please take care of yourself” You say and Jimin nods from above your head.

“Take care of yourself too. And find someone else. Find someone better and fall in love again and make sure they love you back. You deserve that and so much more. So please, just find someone. Don’t close yourself to love” Jimin advises and you take his words to heart, silently promising yourself to move on and find someone worth your time. Someone who won’t break your heart.

“I promise. Now I really have to go or I’m going to miss my flight. Goodbye Jimin” You call out, waving bye before leaving. Jimin watches you walk out of the apartment once and for all and he can’t help but feel as if he’s lost a part of home. Even if you weren’t super close, he knew he’d miss coming home to you doing yoga, or returning to you watching the most random TV series on Netflix. Despite everything, you were still a piece of his home and now that you were gone, the house felt emptier than it should have.

You had once assumed you’d always be in love with Taehyung. But the longer you spend in Jeju, away from him and with his callous words still ringing in your mind, the easier you find it to slowly move on. Taehyung’s words hurt, but the more nights you spend awake at three am thinking about them, the more you realise it would probably never work. The more you realise all he did was take you for granted. You didn’t care that Taehyung didn’t love you back, at least not anymore. What bothered you so much was how he handled everything, the way he threw his words heartlessly, without any thought you how you felt. The more you thought back to your relationship, the more you realised that was often the case. Taehyung was one to speak first and think and apologise later. Of course, he had never meant it to be malicious and he couldn’t intentionally hurt a fly. But that didn’t mean it was excusable, especially when his words and tone were cruel enough to completely dismiss your feelings.

You sigh in fatigue before checking your phone; 1:18am it read and you curse Taehyung for another sleepless night. You were practically nocturnal at this point, staying up all night surrounded by thoughts of the entire Taehyung dilemma. You rubbed your face and got out of bed, deciding to take a walk down the beach pier. Not that anyone really used it so late at night bar a few stragglers. You quickly get dressed before leaving the safety of your Airbnb. You made your way down towards the beach, the walk almost second nature to you. You had found a job working at the pier; considering it was summer it meant that the place was packed with tourists and businesses were more than happy for the extra help.

You walk along the pier, looking at the various arcades, all shut and completely dark. It’s completely different to the usual scene you’re met when you work nights, with bright prismatic lights illuminating the pier from the various attractions. But then again, it’s nearing 4am so why would they be on or even open currently. You’re about to turn back when a very familiar noise draws your attention. It’s the arcade-restaurant you work at and for some reason, the lights of the games are all flashing and on. The sight is particularly peculiar considering the rest of the pier is completely dead and silent. Curiosity wins you over and you decide to investigate.

You enter the arcade and come face to side with a boy who looks roughly the same age as you. He’s giggling to himself as he plays the first-person shooter game, drawing up more points than you’ve ever seen. You assume he’s going for the record and can’t help but think that with his skills, he definitely will break it. He’s got dark chocolate hair that falls into his eyes softly and wide, round almond almost doe like eyes. His ears are pierced multiple times, at least from the angle you see him at and he’s got soft pink, albeit slightly thin lips. His jaw is strong and defined and from the thin t-shirt you can tell his arms are completely muscular and packed with muscle. His chest looks well defined and his thighs even more so, the muscles bulging and rippling in his tight trousers. He giggles, his face scrunching adorably and he’s got the cutest, almost rabbit-esque smile and you wonder if it was possible to be enchanted by teeth.

All in all, he’s completely opposite to Taehyung.

“What are you doing here? Don’t you know this place is closed” He says, looking at you with a slight mischievous look, his game awaiting him to place in some more tokens before he can continue. You raise an eyebrow and shrug.

“Of course, I do. I work in the restaurant in the day time. I was merely curious as to why the lights were on and why the music was playing. So, tell me, don’t youknow this place is closed? So technically, aren’t you breaking and entering?” You question and he laughs once again, the sound rings in your head and your brain goes blank. It’s a wonderful sound, soft and sweet, yet with a lower note to it that has you completely enthralled.

“I don’t think it’s possible for me to break and enter into my own restaurant or arcade. Well technically, my dad owns it. But you catch me drift” He says with a wink and you roll your eyes; you approach him with less caution, watching as he inserts the token and resumes his game.

“Ah, the owner’s son. Why didn’tI guess that? So, you any good?” You ask and he throws you a lopsided grin.

“I’ll have you know, I’m the seventh-year reigning champion. I come down here every summer to just chill out and play games. Every record in the arcade belongs to me. All I have to do is beat myself each year to ensure I remain reigning champion” he boasts and you scoff at his misplaced sense of achievement. Then again, holding a record for seven years is definitely something impressive. Especially a record for every single game. You guess his sense of achievement isn’t so misplaced after all.

“So, what are you doing here? It’s unusual for women to be walking alone so late at night. Not that you shouldn’t. I’m sure you can defend yourself perfect and wait, not that you should haveto defend yourself but you knowsome people are pricks. You know what, I’m just going to shut up” he rambles and suddenly all his bravado is gone and you’re left with an adorably shy guy, his lips slightly pouting and his cheeks flushed.

“Cute” You whisper without meaning to and you quickly clamp your hands over your mouth, but he hears it and all he does is laugh.

“So, you think I’m cute?” He asks and giggling when you shake your head in panic.

“I could say the same about you. I’m Jungkook by the way. Jeon Jungkook” Jungkook introduces and you not to him.

“____. Kim ____. Nice to meet you Jungkook-ssi” You greet back and he sends you a bright smile, eyes crinkling in the corner.

“So, you wanna join? Perks of being the owner’s son is I get all the free, unlimited tokens I want” Jungkook says, wiggling his eyebrows and despite yourself, you let out a small snort.

“Of course, you do and sure why not, I have nothing better to be doing” You accept, taking him up on his offer and Jungkook immediately stops shooting, bringing a quick end to his game. The screen counts down before the dramatic ‘You Died’ screen pops up.

“I hope you feel special, I don’t just selfishly sacrifice myself for just anyone” Jungkook teases and you stick your tongue out at him.

“I didn’t askyou to do that, though did I?” You mock and Jungkook rolls his eyes before he enters some more tokens, this time for both of you.

“Is this how my kindness is repaid? With mockery? Oh, my poor wounded heart” Jungkook jests, a dramatic hand on his heart as he scrunches up his face in mock pain. You once again stick your tongue out at him before gesturing to the game.

“Oh, come on Bun Boy, let’s just play” You joke and Jungkook throws a fake affronted look.

“Bun Boy? Now you’re really going to get it Kim. I refuse to go easy on you” Jungkook threatens and you let out a small laugh.

“Alright, bring it on Jeon” You challenge and soon the two of you begin playing your game.

You spend the entire night laughing and playing various different arcade games before Jungkook offers you a walk on the beach just because. You talk about nothing and yet you talk about everything. Each conversation is completely meaningless and yet that in itself has meaning. You don’t tell him about Taehyung, you don’t tell him anything of true substance and yet by the end, you feel you know Jungkook almost as well as you know Taehyung and you feel he knows you just as well. You don’t think you’ve felt so carefree in years, it’s like all your problems have disappeared for a night. Jungkook is like a breath of fresh air, full of life and jokes and his slightly weirdtendencies have you cracking up, like the way he randomly screeches some inhumane noises, or how he randomly dances or twerks. Not once do you think of Kim Taehyung. There is not a single moment where he even crosses your mind. It’s early into the morning when you find yourself sitting on the beach with him, facing the sunrise.

Jungkook has long since crashed, his body curled up next to you, hair full of sand as he lets out small high-pitched snores. You however, still aren’t able to sleep. But not for any other reason than that for the first time in months, you’ve felt completely alive. It’s as if the one night with Jungkook has completely recharged your battery. You know longer feel restless or emotionally drained. All the small meaningless conversations with Jungkook puts everything into perspective. Everything passes. Everything goes. And you finally realise that Taehyung too will pass. You close your eyes and breathe in deeply, smelling the refreshing salted air. You feel the warmth of the sun and you open your eyes, smiling at the amber lit sky, the colours of dawn painted across the sky.

You can’t help but feel as if this is a new beginning.

“Where is she?” Taehyung asks and Jimin simply rolls his eyes.

“Jimin please, you have to tell me. I have to find her! She’s been gone for weeks. I haveto find her” Taehyung pleads and Jimin scoffs at him.

“Why? Haven’t hurt her enough?” Jimin taunts and Taehyung flinches at the harsh tone of his best friend’s voice.

“I know. I know I made some mistakes, but I have to find her and make things right. Please… I can’t… I can’t lose her” Taehyung says dejectedly and Jimin’s ire once again rises.

“Fuck you Taehyung. Fuck you and your god damn role of playing the victim. It was youractions that forced her to run away. You were so fucking awful to her and don’t think I don’t fucking know” Jimin begins and Taehyung’s eyes widen slightly.

“Jimin-“ Taehyung tries to cut him off but Jimin shakes his head.

“No. No! You willfucking listen to me and only when I’m done will you speak” Jimin seethes and Taehyung immediately shuts up, knowing that Jimin is the last person you’d want to anger when already angry.

“I was there. I was fucking there when I watched you drag her away from Yugyeom and I thought, finally. Finally,he realises just exactly what he feels but just in case I followed you home and when I got here, I heardyou fuck her. I heardyou tell her you loved her and I heard her finally confess her love for you and once again I thought, finally. Maybe I won’t have to watch you slowly break that poor girl apart with your dumb one-night stands and then even more with your relationship with Hyorin. I thought that finally, ____ would get the happiness she deserves. I have watchedher be in love with you for almost as long as she’s known you. I have watched you break her apart with every one-night stand and then I watched her break apart every time, every single fucking timeyou ditched her for Hyorin. And you know what?” Jimin stop his tirade and takes in a deep breath before he continues.

“She never fucking complained. She just took all the hurt you dished out and she never once demanded anything from you. She nevercomplained and the gods know she was well within her fucking right to do so. Youabandoned her. You chose Hyorin, Hyorinof all people over her, the girl who has stood by your side no matter what, who has loved you unconditionally for as long as she’s known what love is. And you threwit all aside for Hyorin. And then how do you repay her? By sleeping with her and then trying to blame it all on her so that you can save your farce of a relationship. Just like I heard you fuck her, I heard you tell her you could neverlove her the next day. How the fuck do you think that made her feel? When you so recklessly threw aside her own feelings and used your words so callously to make her feel so small. She ran away to get away from you. To get away from all the pain you caused her. You didn’t fucking see her the day she left. How tired she looked, how fucking exhausted and lifeless she was. But I did. I fucking saw it and my heart broke her for all over again. So fucking tell me Kim Taehyung, do you deserve to even think about losing her?” Jimin finally spat out, ending his rant and Taehyung looked so lost and broken that Jimin almostregretted his words. But then he remembered you and the shell of a person you had become and he was angry all over again.

“I know. I know what I did. I know what I said. You don’t have to remind me because I know. It haunts me every night that I could have hurt her like that. I… that night was the best night of my life but I was so convinced Hyorin was the one that I hurt the only girl I have ever cared about. And I regret it. I regret is so fucking much Jimin. I… I love her and I know, I know I don’t get to say that now. It shouldn’t have taken me losing her to find out just how much she means to me but I miss her. I miss her so fucking much and it hurts. It fucking hurts. But I need to find her, I need to tell her what I feel and I need to at least try and make amends because not having her here is making me lose my fucking mind. I can’t be without her. I can’t fucking lose her Jimin” Taehyung rants, his voice is filled with need and desperation but Jimin simply shakes his head.

“I’m sorry Taehyung, but I still can’t tell you where she is. Mainly because she hasn’t told me. I’m sorry it took you all this to finally realise what you feel, but it may be too late. You’ve already lost her” Jimin says, his tone final and then he walks away.

By the time you return from Jeju Island, you’ve spent slightly more than two happy, carefree months with Jungkook. There was not a single night or day where you hadn’t spent some semblance of time with him. During afternoons, he’d join you and help wait tables in his father’s restaurant and then once you were both off of work, he’d whisk you away on some new adventure that would leave you completely exhilarated and breathless. There were days when he’d take you hiking through the woods or on other days he’d take you fishing at night. It seemed that every day was a new experience with Jungkook and you were deeply enjoying your time with him.

A month into your holiday, Jungkook had done something you had both anticipated and dreaded.

{Flashback – A month ago}

You’re lying in a small meadow, just off the roadside, overlooking the mountains and sea that surround Jeju. It’s not exactly the most ideal spot considering you’re just opposite a road, but the cars that drive past are so scarce that it doesn’t even register in your mind. Jungkook had parked his car somewhere of the side and now you two were simply laying on the grass, surrounded by beautiful purple blossoms. You breathe in the fresh air, so reminiscent of the sea salted air of Busan and yet so different from the place you called home in Seoul. The scent of grass accompanied by the scent of the sea has you feeling nostalgic and maudlin. Back to the days when life had been easier, when Taehyung hadn’t hurt you so deeply and when you were just friends, nothing more.

It’s been so long since you’ve thought of Taehyung. The hurt is still there but it’s no longer as fresh or raw. His words don’t stab at your heart anymore. Instead, they’ve left a dull ache of a wound that is slowly healing. Thoughts of Taehyung don’t send you plummeting into despair anymore. Instead, they leave you with a weird sense of nostalgia and ache. An ache for the feelings that you’ve lost, an ache for your best friend. Nothing more. You’ve long since accepted that you and Taehyung were not meant to be, nor could you ever be. There was too much bad blood, too much hurt. You were willing to forgive, but you could never forget.

“Wanna tell me what’s occupying that pretty little head of yours?” Jungkook asks, breaking you out of your inner musings. You send him a wistful smile and he notices the expression, one you’ve worn very often but have refused to divulge your secrets. Jungkook recognises the signs of someone running away from their problem, but he’s also noticed you slowly become more open with him, slowly become livelier and so he’s left it. He trusts that you know what’s best for you and that you’re dealing with your problems in your own way.

“Just stuff from home. Every now and then I think about it and it still hurts, but each day it gets better. It hurts less. It certainly hurts less than it did when I got here” You say, a genuine bright smile on your face and Jungkook smiles at your cheeriness.

“Have I been any help?” He asks, more so in a teasing tone because he would never presume that he was the answer to all your problems. But your expression once again turns reflective and there’s a certain bliss to your features that there wasn’t before, a certain lightness to your eyes.

“You’re joking, but yes. You’ve helped a lot. Thank you” You reply, genuine gratitude lacing your voice and Jungkook is instantly floored, unable to say anything. He doesn’t think he’s done anything great; all he knows is that he loves spending time with you. All he knows is that he wants to continue spending time with you, whether it was watching you attempt to break his arcade records, or sharing leftovers from the restaurant, or even if it was laying on some grass by the roadside. He wanted many more adventures with you, many more late nights and many more days spent doing anything and everything under the sun.

“Let’s go out” Jungkook says suddenly and you raise your eyebrow at him before giggling.

“We areout. But where do you want to go?” You ask curiously and he shakes his head.

“No, I mean. Let’s date. I want to take you out. On a real date. With romantic intentions” Jungkook elaborate and you stiffen, looking at him with wide eyes.

Your feelings were in complete chaos, a part of you, the broken part, wanted to run; because no matter how much you’ve forgiven him and how much you want to be over him, Taehyung has left his scars on you. Scars that will never heal. Scars tell you that you won’t ever be loved the way you want to. And you dread that. You dread falling in love with someone, giving someone everything you have only for them to leave. You somehow survived Taehyung, you doubt you’ll survive someone else leaving. You doubt you’ll survive Jungkook leaving.

But another part of you, the bigger part of you that is healed; the part that heeds Jimin’s advice, wants you to dive straight into him. It wants you to experience a love with is completely reciprocated. It wants you to experience happiness, and joy and most of all it wants you to experience love. Even if Jungkook doesn’t end up being the one, that part of you wants to try. To move on once and for all. Not everyone is Taehyung. Not everyone is going to hurt you so deeply. You rationalise that. You know that. And yet, a part of you still fears; still holds you back.

Another part of you feels guilty. You’re not completely over Taehyung. There are still residual feelings and this part of you, doesn’t want to use Jungkook as a rebound. This part of you understands that Jungkook’s feelings are pure and this part doesn’t want you taking advantage of those feelings in order to move on. It’s wrong and Jungkook doesn’t deserve that. He’s sweet, still full of life and so, somuch stronger than you. He’s experienced his own disillusionment of love; his last girlfriend cheated. And yet here he was, so ready and willing to dive head first into you, someone who was still haunted by her past love. He was stronger than you could ever be.

“You’re not saying anything. If you don’t want to, just say so. It’s not that big a deal” Jungkook says with a shrug but you can see the slight nervousness in his eyes. It is a big deal. It’s bigger than he could ever know. Were you willing to put yourself in that position again? You had no idea. But… maybe you just owed it to yourself to try. To explain why you’re so wary and why you both want to and don’t want to date him. So, you do. Explain that is.

You come clean about everything. You tell him about Taehyung, you tell him about how you fell in love and how you were always just the best friend. You tell him about the day he gets a girlfriend, and then all the times he’s left you for her. You tell him about the night you fuck and then the huge blow up the day after. You tell him about how you ran away to Jeju and then met him. You tell him about how much he unknowingly healed you and why you’re so reluctant to date him, even if you want to. You don’t want to hurt him and you don’t want to use him. You tell him everything and Jungkook just listens. He listens and listens and then when you’re done he pulls you close and hugs you until the tears are all dried and you’re left with nothing but feelings of safety and comfort, wrapped up in Jungkook’s embrace.

“I don’t want to be hurt anymore” You confess with a sniffer and Jungkook nods, his chin resting on the top of your head. He holds you tighter and presses a soft kiss against your temple.

“I know. I know baby. I’m sorry you went through that. I’m sorry he was too much of an idiot to realise how amazing you are. But his loss, is still my gain. I want to date you. I want you to be mine. I want to show you what it means to love and be loved; I want to show you the joys of being in love. I can’t promise you it’ll all be sunshine and rainbows. But my god ____, I can promise that I won’t everhurt you the way he did. So, forget everything else and tell me what you want. If you want to try, I’m here. If you don’t feel ready, then I’ll still be here; I’ll wait until you’re ready. Because I want you. I want everything about you. I want your smile, your tears, your heartache but most importantly your love. I want it all” Jungkook says and you have no idea how he does it, but once again it’s like a huge burden is lifted off your shoulders. Jungkook is far stronger than you could ever hope to be. But a part of you wonders, that maybe, just maybeif you stick by him, he’ll lend you some of that strength.

So, you say yes.

And he kisses you.

{End of Flashback}

Now it’s been almost two and a half months since you’ve been in Jeju and it’s time you went back. Graduation was in a week; you had gotten your results two week before hand and surprisingly, you’d passed all your modules. You were getting a degree. You had immediately run to Jungkook and the two of you had celebrated with a quick picnic on the beach, Jungkook snatching a bottle of wine from the restaurant’s wine cellar. You had packed up all your things and were finally ready to head back to Seoul and face real life. You couldn’t run from your life; something Jungkook had reminded you of everyday.

“Ready to go?” Jungkook asked, his own bag packed with him. You smiled at him and nodded. You turned to the flat once again, smiling nostalgically before you turned off all the lights and deposited the keys where they were supposed to be. He grabbed your bag and carried it towards the taxi waiting for the two of you. Jungkook was returning with you for two reasons. The first being, to your great surprise, was that he too attended university in Seoul and therefore, he too had to return back to everyday life. The second being, that he really wanted to watch you graduate.

There was very little you could refuse Jungkook and so you had accepted, more than happy to be returning with him. You had worried about needed to return to Seoul. You had come to develop a deep fondness for Jungkook. It wasn’t love yet, you were still wary and Jungkook understood. He was in a similar position. But that didn’t mean you weren’t particularly fond of each other. For now, it was more than enough. There was no way to say what the future entailed, but you had some hope that you’d somehow last.

Your feelings for Jungkook were day and night in comparison to your feelings for Taehyung. You weren’t consumed with a burning want like you had for Taehyung; instead you were filled with a small need for him. The need to tell him how your day went, to the need to touch him whether it be a small brush of your hands or his arms around you in bed. You were filled with the need to see him smile and to see him flourish and you were assured the feelings were reciprocated. Being with Jungkook was one of the best things to ever happen to you and you were soglad you had run away and found him.

But now, it was time to go home.

A small part of you dreaded returning. You had no idea what was happening; sure, you’d kept in touch with Jimin, dropping him texts every now and then but you never asked about Taehyung and he never bothered telling you. You were going back blind and it filled you with nervousness. You’d messaged Jimin, letting him know you’d be moving back in. Jimin was ecstatic, but he questioned whether it was wise. You weren’t entirely sure yourself. But you were done running, that was your home as much as it was Taehyung’s and you were not giving it up. Besides, you sincerely hoped that you and Taehyung could move on and continue being friends. Of course, it shouldn’t be too much of a problem once he realised you’d moved on and he could happily be with Hyorin.

However, only time would tell.

“I can’t believe you’re back! I missed you so much! Tell me everything, how was Jeju?” Jimin bounces over to you, happiness radiating off of him as he greets you with a hug. You let out a small laugh and hug him back once you place your bags down.

“I can’t believe I’m back either. I missed you too! Can I unpack first? My room is still available right. I didn’t even ask before dropping you a text telling you I was moving back in” You say apologetically and Jimin shakes his head.

“We rented out your room for a bit, but your stuff is still there and your name is still on the lease so it’s all good. Do you need any… help unpacking?” Jimin trails off when Jungkook enters your shared apartment. He gives Jimin a shy smile and Jimin’s eyes widen to the size of saucers. He turns to look at you, gaping like a fish as he flicks between you and Jungkook.

“Babe, where do you want this?” Jungkook asks and Jimin splutters. You send him a weird look before pointing your room out to Jungkook.

“Down there, Kook. I’ll come help in a bit” You say and Jungkook nods as he grabs your stuff and his before taking it into your room. Once he’s out of earshot, Jimin rounds on you.

“Who is that? Is he staying here? Whatthe fuck happened in Jeju? Are you over Taehyung?” Jimin rapidly questions and you reel back slightly before laughing at him as you pat his shoulder, trying to calm him down.

“That Jungkook… my boyfriend I guess. He’s staying for a short while; his apartment is still being room is still being rented to some summer tenants so he has to wait it out. So much happened in Jeju but the main thing was that I started seeing Jungkook. And I don’t think I’ll everbe over Taehyung, but I’m better. Definitely much better” You say with a soft smile and Jimin raises his eyebrow.

“Does Jungkook know?” Jimin asks and you send him an agitated look.

“Of course, he knows. I wouldn’t keep such a big thing from him. He knows all about Taehyung and he’s super understanding. It’s more that I deserve” You reply and Jimin scowls at you.

“Don’t do that. You deserve more than you think you do. But damn, all hell is going to break loose when Taehyung returns” Jimin says and you frown, eyebrows furrowed as you ponder his words.

“What do you mean? Why would all hell break loose?” You ask but before he could answer, the front door clicks open and Taehyung enters holding grocery bags.

“Hey Jimin, the store didn’t have your favourite ramen so I got another type-“ Taehyung begins but he stops short when his head lifts up and he meets your gaze. Time seems to stand still as the two of you look at each other. Taehyung’s is one of shock while a small unsure smile is painted upon your lips. It’s been almost half a year since you’ve seen Taehyung. You avoided him like the plague during exam season and then you disappeared to Jeju Island. He’s still as beautiful as the day he walked out of your room. Except now, his mullet is gone and in place a shorter version; and his hair is no longer blonde but back to its natural dark colouring.

“Is… is that really you?” Taehyung asks and you not shyly, unsure why you’re so unnerved. Taehyung immediately drops his bags and stalks over to you and before you know it, his arms are wrapped around you, pulling you close to his chest and encasing you in his embrace. You breathe out a sigh of relief and hug back. Maybe this would be easier than you imagined.

“Surprise!” You say quietly but Taehyung ignored it, instead he holds you at arm’s length and takes in every inch of your appearance.

“I can’t believe it’s you. I can’t believe you’re back. I missed you. I missed you so much, please don’t ever leave me again. I love you” Taehyung confesses and you freeze, your brain short circuiting for a bit but before you can respond, Taehyung’s lips are locked against yours. Your eyes widen in shock and you stand stock-still for a couple moments before your brain registers exactly what is happen. You quickly struggle against his hold and finally managed to break away, pushing him off of you. Taehyung looks at you in shock and you regard him in disbelief and anger.

“What do you think you’re doing? You can’t just kiss me like that Kim Taehyung! What made you think that was okay?” You cry, pointing an accusatory finger at him.

“What? Why not? I love you. I’m sorry, I was such an idiot before and it took you leaving for me to realise just what I feel for you. I know it sounds like a cop out and you have no reason to believe me after what I said, but I dolove you. And I’m willing to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much I love you” Taehyung says and you scoff in incredulity.

“Are you fucking kidding me Kim Taehyung? You’re right I don’t believe you. I don’t want to believe you. You told me you could neverlove me the way you love Hyorin. Speaking of, where is she? We made the mistake of cheating once, I won’t do it again” You spit out, ire rising with each passing moment. How could he do this to you? You were finallymoving on and here he was, throwing a wrench in your work. Well you wouldn’t allow it, you refuseto be a part of his game anymore.

“I broke up with her. I was an idiot. Such an idiot, I never should have ditched you. I never should have distanced myself from you. I love you. I love you so much and I know you love me. So please, just give me a chance” Taehyung pleads, reaching one hand out to grab yours. You pull it away and shake your head at him.

“Yeah, you were. But that’s in the past. I can’t give you a chance anymore. I’m sorry, you lost that the minute you walked out of my door that day. You left me completely broken. You hurt me, in a way I never expected you to. I’m fine now, I got over it. But I’m sorry to say Taehyung… I don’t love you anymore” You whisper and you yourself are startled by the truth of your words. But it’s true. You don’tlove him anymore. All those feelings are replaced by placid feelings of fondness for your best friend and nothing else.

“No. No, you don’t mean that. You love me. You’ve loved me for years. You can’t be over me so easily. It’s only been half a year. You love me. Please tell me you love me” Taehyung begs, tears pooling in his eyes and a part of you aches for him. You know exactly what he’s feeling; the desperation to be loved by the one you love. But you couldn’t offer him that solace anymore.

“I can’t. I can’t say that, because it’s not true. I love you Taehyung, but not in that way. Not anymore. That’s what happens when you’re hurt that muchby the person you love. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry to do this and I hope one day we can go back to being friends. But any romantic notion of me and you, died that day Taehyung” You say with a small sob, you hadn’t even registered you were crying. But these tears aren’t for yourself. These are for Taehyung. These tears are for the heart you know you’re breaking with your words. But you can’t lead him on. You can’t do what he did to you for so long.

“NO! No! Please, I love you” Taehyung implores and you desperately wish he had done this months ago. But it’s too late now. His confession is far too delayed and you can’t help but wonder if you and Taehyung were cursed with nothing but missed opportunities and incorrect timing. In another world, in another life, you could see yourself with Taehyung. But not in this life. Not in this world. You were happy with Jungkook and you weren’t going to give that up.

“Is everything okay?” Jungkook asks as he walks our wearily, he regards Taehyung with a guarded expression before his eyes fall onto you. His eyes widen in panic at your tear streaked face; he quickly walks over to you and pull you into him. His hand cups your cheek and lifts your chin up to look at him.

“____? Are you okay baby? What’s wrong?” Jungkook ask and the concern etched onto his face only makes you cry harder. You’re convinced you don’t deserve him, but you’d be damned if you were letting him go. So, you do the only thing you can. You pull him into a kiss and pour out all your emotions into it. It’s not love and Jungkook knows it, but right now it’s the closest thing to it and he’ll take it.

“Take me away. We can unpack later, but right now. I just want to watch the sunset with you” You whisper and Jungkook immediately nods. He runs into your room and grabs both your jacket before he grabs your hand and tugs you along with him. He waves Jimin goodbye and regards Taehyung with an apologetic look before leading you out of your flat. You stop briefly and turn to Taehyung.

“I’m sorry Taehyung. I really am” You whisper and then Jungkook shuts the door.

This time, Taehyung watches you leave. His chest feels likes its being caved in and he’s filled with despair. He watches you leave with Jungkook, your hands entwined and he wants nothing more than to be in his place. But he saw the hint of love in your eyes when you looked at Jungkook. It’s not as strong as how you used to look at him, but it’s there and his heart shatters. When he finally hears the door shut, he knows that this is the end. You’ve walked out of his life, once and for all. There’s no more you and Taehyung. He lost that right a while ago. Doubt clouds his mind and he ponders the what ifs. What if he realised his feelings sooner, what if he ran after you? What if he’d never walked out that day? Maybe, just maybe he’d have you in his arms right now.

But he can’t change the past.

He can’t change the inkling of love you have for Jungkook.

He can’t make you love him again.

And Taehyung briefly wonders, how do you cope with losing something you both had and didn’t have?

A/N: This AU took everything out of me. So I hope you enjoyed that!

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