#she doesnt know that even if she did he wouldnt be there :(
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I do agree that just like killing Jimmy or putting him a crypod wouldn't have been the best options, but it was the fact that it was able to GET to this point of desperation thats the problem. Curly had 20 different chances along the years where he couldve done something about Jimmy, but didn't. He wasnt forced into this situation--he brought it upon entirely himself. There werent any measures on the ship for locking somone up because thats what the physch evals were for. the ones that jimmy didnt take seriously but curly let him on the ship anyways because hes his good friend.
Its a common misconception that Curly only knew about Anya's assult right before the crash. Its blantantly wrong. He didnt know she was pregnant, but it is confirmed that she and Curly talked about this before they even got on the ship.
Curly knew about what Jimmy did before he even did the psych eval. thats the whole point that hes been covering up for him and acting like he can fix things without any company interference.
In this scene as well, Curly tells Anya that she could've told him and that he wouldve done ANYTHING to help her. BUT SHE KNOWS THAT A FUCKING LIE!! She knows thats a lie, and so she doesnt even take the time to reply to what he said. Shes not like 'ah thank you so much for being so nice and doing everything you can to make me feel safe.' She knows she isnt safe on this ship, with Jimmy or Curly.
On top of all of this, most peoples reactions to figuring out their best friend raped and IMPREGNATED their other friend, wouldnt be "hm... well we can talk this out like reasonable gents."
But alas, this is Curly's reaction. He goes to Jimmy to talk things out. He isnt lying or decieving Jimmy, he's genuinely trying to make amends. He trying to get Anya and Jimmy on good terms so they dont have to tell anyone about this and no one has to get in trouble. Curly never fucking planned on letting the company know about this, if anyones telling anyone its going to be Anya telling the company and reporting them. Curly's playing every single side of the court and its doing nothing but HURTING EVERYONE involved.
I urge anyone who thinks differently to rewatch this scene because its actually insane. He's trying to string Anya and Jimmy together so no one has to get reported, and Jimmy TELLS him like 'no man. This times its over like im gonna get in big time fucking trouble. Or... I could just kill all of us.'
And Curly just. Doesnt say anything to that! Him and Jimmy share a moment of silence, Jimmy pats Curly on the shoulder, and says "Ill take care of it." And Curly WATCHES HIM WALK AWAY. TO CRASH THE SHIP. Because he would rather do literally anything but directly hurt a friend. Which isnt noble, its cowardly.
It isnt until the last fucking second that Curly grows some sense and tries to stop the ship. Which ends with him horribly disfigured.
Like oh my god, OH MY GOD!! Curly just is an awful person. He couldve done sooooo much more way before things got to the point they did, and even AFTER, he didnt do all he could. He didnt even put up a fight to stop Jimmy at all. And he didn't really seem to think of him all that differently even after Anya's assult.
Like... the lengths people will go to to defend Curly and say what he did was reasonable is insane to me. He didn't do nearly all he could've and THAT was a huge point of the game.
im gonna be honest. I think the idea that curly should have put jimmy in a cryo pod immediately after finding out is CRAZY. like yeah sure. I mean they're already short one pod in case of emergency but yeah throw jimmy in there. that'll be totally fine if smth happens to curly and there's no one to run the ship.
like idk was there not only like,,, a day between anya telling curly and jimmy crashing the ship? how was curly supposed to know the situation was so fucked that he needed to act immediately? and what was he supposed to do to deal with it. it goes beyond his desire to people please, he has been forced into a situation where there are no appropriate actions he can take due to corporate greed. they did not provide any options for a crew mate who needs to be detained. they didnt provide enough crew mates to replace a co-pilot if needed.
shit was never just as simple as put jimmy in the cryo pod. thats like. an incredibly important point the game is making.
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one of my fav post game togami headcanons is the idea that in the early days of their time with the future foundation, he's the one doing the Bulk of the work -- not only in the Job sense of like, interpreting all the legalese and filing forms, and being mr ceo guy -- but in a caretaking sense as well.
and its still in his Weird Distant way but like. he picks up extra work so the others dont have to. he brings coffee and tells them when its time to turn in for the night. dont worry. he'll finish the work they have left. it's nothing to him. and sure all of it is couched in backhanded comments a la "if you're too weak to do it i will. i GUESS" because he's still too early in his Journey to Empathy to admit to himself that he's doing these things because he cares. like it's all rationalized as "im the better than everyone and my weak-willed so-called 'peers' are too consumed by grief to actually be useful so i'll do it because im naturally immune to burnout" (he isnt)
and also bc like. he feels BAD about everything that went down in hopes peak. again, not that he'd recognize it as such for years but. here are all these people that he doesn't (does) care about struggling against their own grief for the people they lost that he doesnt care about (or at least doesnt remember caring about) and he treated them SO poorly in some of the harder moments so now's when he needs to make up for it. sure his entire family is dead but he's alive and he's the best one, so he'll do the work. it's fine. this is what he was made for. extra paperwork? handled. too swamped to find time to grab food and water? tch, he's so on top of his work that he already got it for you, stupid. the most dangerous missions? whatever, you'd probably just mess it up anyways, so i'll do it.
#byakuya togami#and then there's the naegami of it all wherein naegi's powers of Observation and Compassion allow him to see through this big facade#so he's the one to be like 'hey. you dont have to do everything. you know that right.' <- hypocrite#which of course togami pinpoints immediately like 'heh youre one to talk. youre on the verge of collapsing. give me half ur work NOW‼️'#so 90% of their courtship is them trying to get the other to sit down for .5 seconds and the other refusing#because the core truth of naegami is that if either of them sit still the bad thoughts win#so they dont sit still EVER#kirigiri knows all of this as well but she's 1) more fucked up about it all than she's willing to admit#2) overwhelmed by the weight of her own responsibilities#(+ naegi's because she expresses affection in the same guilt ridden way that togami does)#and 3) doesnt like togami enough yet to care that he's killing himself with work#and knows it wouldnt matter even if she did say something because he's certainly not going to listen to HER
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basically
#THIS WAS HARDER THAN IT LOOKS#i moved jean from butchy femme to butch because of peer pressure#but i guess its still true#and thea for a moment i thought she could fit in futch but then i remembered her one scene had her wearing a pastel skirt so#riko high femme i know is controversial but i feel like hes kind of fierce like that sorry#soft butch jeremy felt very correct no notes on that one#lets see. i had kevin in high femme but actually i think he wouldnt be so far in the scale#i feel like hes respectably on the femme side but not like. insanely high femme like myself#as in i dont wear pants and i buy wedding veils to use in my daily life#AND RENEE i wanted her in butch i really did but i dont think thats true for her in canon#i think actually in canon renee is really like a normal pretty girl which im obsessed with#remember when even neil said her smile was pretty. yeah#and jean's thoughts coming to a halt when he saw her face <3#so yeah. we need a real butch in aftg and andrew doesnt count#wheres the alvarez butch prayer circle#alvarez boy shorts and white tank top prayer circle#txt#foxes
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this line has always baffled me genuinely what is she talking about. what book
edit: anon helped me with this one, apparently this an idiom...! oops lol. see, i have heard things like "you could write a book on x, you know so much about it...!" but never "you wrote a book on x," like, in the past tense, like you actually wrote it. perhaps this is common and i just don't know about it, but either way, i'm happy my question is finally answered...
i'm afraid i do look a little silly now... but that's alright
NOOOOO GUYS STOP LIKING THIS POST ITS EMBARASSSINGGGGG (not genuine go ahead I find it funny)
#witch's heart spoilers#sirius gibson#lime witch's heart#usually i wouldn't liveblog on tumblr but this lives rent free in my head what#this is especially strange considering sirius actually doesnt run away that much? he says he always has done that but its not true#yes he is a coward but when his parents died he didnt run away he was frozen in fear#when dorothy was being killed he didnt run away#he actually chose to stay in the mansion stubbornly#i guess hes been hesitant to fight monsters but i wouldnt say run away from them#main instance he runs away is in this route when he runs away from claire because hes paranoid about everyone#otherwise i have trouble thinking of when he does#not saying its ooc of him to want to run away it isnt#he IS the type to run away a lot he just hasn't really been presented with many situations where he WOULD#but the fact that he hasn't makes this “writing a book on running away” feel strange#like what would that kind of book even be?? a step by step guide?? you cant fill a book with that#some fiction where someone runs away from stuff? genuinely what was there some cut dialogue or something#also why would lime know about this does she go around observing what books hes writing#idk if he did she just doesnt seem like shed care enough to notice if he was writing a book
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please understand. if you sit close to aaravi while shes deep in thought, you can hear her Clicky Clacky her mandibles. they might be useless but they ARE stimmy as hell.
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#aaravi in the kitchen clicky clacky her mandibles as she clicky clacky the tongs#do not ever point it out to her that you can hear them though#she is so fucking self conscious about them like you wouldnt believe#(well unless you are miri. but you will not replicate miri's results.)#(even miri knows to only point it out in private and preferably after having already put her tongue in aaravis mouth)#she thinks they are very cute and sweet and fun#and meanwhile aaravi is so intensely disgusted by them that she avoided kissing anyone at all for the longest time#as well as never having gone to a dentist in her life#though im not sure how well she could to begin with#i dont. i dont think aaravi legally exists.#listen i do not believe mama mishra would have gotten a birth certificate for her or salil due to the whole#issues.......#so aaravi might not legally exist and that makes doing a lot of things Very Hard#she doesnt even have the equivalent for the fae realm which is the only place she might have one#because you KNOW her dad did not claim her#and you know. very easy to avoid that if you simply Do Not File The Paperwork.#or Oops He Did But It Got Kicked In The River Oh Noooooo Who Could Have Foreseen This Happening#miravi.txt
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i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao
#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her#and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that#bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control#AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern#which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have#become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and#then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see#the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then#immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now#hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him#she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women#bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely#fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are#capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the#like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond#or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to#feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe#months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time#its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like#there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she#wouldnt show up and ive been right each time#like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at#them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all#anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it#and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy#and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way#its just AUSHD AUGH#anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore
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I always see these posts about Maedhros and Elwing, like yes both leap to their deaths clutching a Silmaril and I adore the foil allegories, but what of Maglor??
My tiktok feed has been playing that one fan Odysseus song, the "get in the water, or ill raise the tides so high all of Ithaca will die" song, and I cant help but just picture Maglor, at the ends of his rope, covered in Ambarussa's blood, the youngest son of Feanor again after spending an untold amount of time being the second oldest, just going still and deadly at Elwing
Hes no Luthien, no half Maia that can pluck at the threads of reality like one can a harp, but he is the best Singer of the Noldor, and depending on who you ask, of all of the First Born. One of the only Sons of Feanor with an affinity for water while the rest burn, but that doesn't mean he can't become a rolling boil.
Once the final breath of Ambarussa escapes their lungs, oh the Scream Maglor will have let go. Just as a drowning person will grasp at anything to keep them afloat, even to the point where they may drown their rescuer just to keep their head above the waves, Maglor’s scream PULLS
All the water surrounding this costal city would Lurch, would rush and flood and crash upon the city walls. The streets, already run red with blood, would become knee deep blood pools. These red rivers would part before him and his echoing dirge, his siren wailing, the bloody waves would lap at his feet with every step he would take up Elwing's tower.
He would corner her, eyes blazing with the same light that she clutches desperately to her chest, to her heart, and Maglor wouldn't care about the Jewel, he's already lost so much to it that if he held it himself he would just toss it into the waves anyways, let it sink to the black depths where it belongs.
No, Maglor would pin her on the balcony, block her exits so all she can see is the blood stained water seeping around his feet, inching towards her, and the furious roar and crash of the raging ocean behind. He would hum, a disarming little song, and the waves seem to surge upwards, reaching towards the tower balcony on beat. The spray of the waves would splatter across her back, would mist Maglor’s face, the salt of the ocean mixing with the salt of his tear stained face. He would look at her, dripping in water and blood, both of his brothers and his enemies, and he would sing one little line, a command more like.
"Get in the water"
#maglor#Silmarillion#elwing#silm fic#lotr#ANYWAYS u know me I love mae but ive been thinking about how it's not fair that Maglor#doesnt also get his grief despair wump#elwing throws herself into the waves and gets saved#while maglor is doomed to stalk its edge#i dont have my copy of silm rn csuse I packed it but its Ulmo that turns her into a sea bird right?#what if he did that because he knew that he wouldnt be able to save her if she touched the watet#maglor has such a GRIP on the water around sirion rn that even Ulmo would be unsure#if he could completely keep her safe#so he turns her into a bird right as maglors waves reach up and miss her by a breath#by a wing tip and maglor SCREAMS#look im fond of maglor becoming a crazed beach bum but i also like to imagine him just MURKING#all thr seagulls he can get his hands on Just In Case#elrond or his sons find him and theyre like Maglor Come Home and hes just RIPPING into a seagull#with his little circle of crabs around him and theyre like Oh Hum#amber rambles
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im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed
my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.
and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.
anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,
I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me
im going by metro which is quite safe
im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18
she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)
anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm
so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?
anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".
and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.
#in our house kids dont stay outside past 6:30pm'' but now all of a sudden its fine for my brother to play#till 10:30 at night#she literally stopped me permanently from going down in the evenings since i was in class 7-8#this is why ive never had any friends outside of school bcz she wouldnt let me leave ths fucking house#and now that my brother is in class 7#he's allowed to be out playing with his friends till 10 freaking 30#he comes home an hour late sometimes...45 minutes and almost always at least 30 minutes late at NIGHT and she says nothing except like#one sentence#yeah im only the villain i only keep u locke#up in the house its all my fault#this is just so damn unfair#like literally insulting#im not a child what is her problem#what sort of fucking solution is 'never leave the hostel' like ok even if i do that what happens then??? after i graduate?#i'll be a 24 year old who doesnt know shit about going from one place to another without a man present]#and then this woman preaches how she 'always raises her son and daughter equally' like srsly shut the fuck up#my whole life i've been told abar late?''#and for me bcz i would come home 5-10 minutes late nd i did it maybe once or twice she made me completely stop going down to play#5-10 minutes late from 6:30 wherein he comes an hour late from 9 fucking 30#and this sounds so stupid bcz im an 18 year old now and i dont give a fuck abt how long i got to play but its just unfair dude#with me it was always smthn or the other either exams or she gets miraculously sick every time i want to go out to play#im not even kidding she did a whole “i have fever and ur going to leave me like this and go play?” on me one time bcz i was adamant abt goi#after months of not being able to go bcz of exam or smthn or the other#she did not have any fever it was fucking bullshit#and how am i supposed to help with ur imaginary fever anyway im literally 12#its so fucking annoying man and then if i say anything at all she'll go on a tirade about how#like YOU DO THOUGH??????? im sorry ur feelings are hurt bcz i said you do smthn that u LITERALLY DO#istg not even 2 days ago she was having a fight with my dad abt how he should teach my brother to learn how to cycle so that he can go buy#groceries#i can cycle
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I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.
#once again i jest but now i have to actually talk about it#like. okay we have no proof of any actual timeline for the dirge flashbacks other than. it was at least 30 years ago#so who knows how long they were at the manor. could have been weeks before The Incident. or months. or maybe a full year! who knows#but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown#AND THEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY SHE AGREED TO THE EXPERIMENT AND IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS#1. she knew she was pregnant and thats why she agreed to the experiment cuz there was already a usable subject#and therefore she must have fucked hojo like a week after she fucked vincent AND THATS STUPID FAST FOR THESE EVENTS#or 2. she didnt know. agreed to the experiment. fucked hojo. and therefore thought seph was hojo's and NOT vincent's#AND BY THE WAY. i dont even actually believe hojo fucked either!!! cuz theyre both scientists so why wouldnt they think IVF was the best way#okay. well.... hojo is canonically a fucked up little freak. so. he might have taken the opportunity to... get in there.#also when did ivf even start being a thing? cuz that may play a factor into this if nomura even considered that#well either way lets just unfortunately assume hojo got in there#ITS STILL AN ODDLY FAST TIMELINE#also. fuck man doesnt lucrecia have a later line in dirge where she actually says shes in love with hojo? or something along those lines#IMPLYING ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE SHE HAD THE FALLING OUT WITH VINCENT. YOU WOULDNT FUCK THE GUY AFTER ALL THAT SHIT#AND WHILE CLAIMING TO LOVE/CURRENTLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HOJO!!!! LIKE CMON MAN!!!! SHE SUCKS BUT SHES NOT THAT KIND OF A MESS#i dont think vincent would fuck her until they sorted out their issues anyway and that CLEARLY didnt happen.#its VITAL that that did not happen!!!!#its just. if vincent and lucrecia fucked. everything would have had to happen EXTREMELY fast within like a 2 week timespan#and im just talking about up to when vincent learns shes partaking in the experiment. it was probably another week or two until vincent died#SO. logically it must have been like#fall in love->learn about the gimoire incident->refuse to speak to vincent->get obsessed with hojo->fall in love(?)#and then thats where i think its ambiguous on did the experiment become an idea before or after seph started to exist?#like chicken or the egg ya know. experiment idea or sephiroth zygote?#that feels fucked up to say. im so fucking sorry to seph to talk about this. yeah sorry i have to debate who fucked your mom bro#god imagine telling him that. like not even as a reveal thing cuz he knows who his father is. just like as a sick joke. your mom joke.#NO OH M Y GOD I HAVE A QUESTION NOW#in accordance to him having a photo of lucrecia in ever crisis. after he reads that jenova is an ancient (incorrect btw)#does he think that picture is still her? what about when he takes jenova's body from the lab????#oh my god 30 tag limit. FUCK. i need like a rant blog for all this vincent talk now. my brain is going a mile a minute
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I'll bury myself with your suffering, if that's what it takes
#girls when they love someone so much yet are all to aware that they unwittingly cause them suffering#and would do anything to ease it for them#even die#i think about how she makes SEVERAL comments on how she wishes she was dead so thancred wouldnt suffer so much#when she suggests fusing with minfilia proper shes literally like. i dont care what happens to me anymore i want to do whatever i can#even if it means dying/disappearing in the process#she genuinely thinks this is the only way her existance is justified#as a vessel and stepping stone for minfilia#bc shes not strong enough not fast enough she doesnt have minfilias powers#and (as far as she knows) she doesnt even have thancreds love. the person she loves the most doesnt actually care about her (in her mind)#all her life shes been a source of suffering for everyone around her#her existance was a threat to vauthry and a source of grief for ran'jit#and grief and hope and hate and love and everything all at once for thancred#like he did love her. but he also hated that it wasnt minfilia. and he grieved having to lose one but also hope for whoever would surivive.#all she wanted was for him to love her for HER and when she couldnt have that she sought his love the only way she know how#by becoming the person he wished her to be instead#ryne waters#final fantasy#final fantasy 14#final fantasy xiv#ff14#ffxiv#art#my art#xanders art#digital art#fan art#xander being insane about ryne#tw blood#cw blood
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Ahoy it's me again I've been doing some thinking:
So march 31st is when the philosopher's stone was made which puts a wrench in our "Regulus created by the philosopher's stone" idea but what if not? (I'm about to be deranged here but I thought of this at 4 AM so wheeeeeeee)
One of the lesser known properties of the philosopher's stone is that it can be used to create a homonculus. Now there are alchemical recipes for homunculi that do not require a philosopher's stone (instead opting for lots of blood and a live horse, among other things)
So I was thinking: Why use the philosopher's stone to make one when stuff like blood and live horses are relatively easy to get? Well based on the difficulty of cloning mammals (Dolly, cloned in 1996, took 277 fertilized eggs to get 1 surviving sheep) and that homunculi are reputedly more like miniature humans, what if the philosopher's stone based method just gives better results? What if the philosopher's stone version of a homunculus eliminates the need for hundreds of attempts, perfects the homunculus to be nearly identical to a naturally born arcanist, and makes the process faster?
Because if the horse and blood based recipe takes 9 months, and the philosopher's stone cuts that down to 4 and a half months... isn't August 15 4 and half months away from march 31st?
I should go eat breakfast afhgkhlfgakfdklfkg
Oh you are cooking👀
Wait no that's dope cause if APPLe's goal was to create life, then that'd make much more sense for him to lose his body during the transmutation bc ofc, it seems like he's playing god, rather than just try to recreate the Philosopher's Stone
Okay this really got me thinking now cause if we go w that, it would make much more sense, since the Philosopher's Stone is already discovered, and for arcanists, that's an actual thing, unlike w humans who think the Philosopher's Stone is merely a myth. And APPLe wanted to know more abt it's uses, bc he knows it's an elixir of life as well, it could grant immortality, but most of all, he knows it'll be a better material in doing transmutation, he knows it'll be a successful experiment, but a lot of people had warned him not to, as not a single arcanist has ever tried creating life with the Philosopher's Stone
And it would somewhat justify the punishment APPLe received, while yeah he was successful in creating life, the stars had punished him by making Regulus from his own flesh and blood, a spitting image of him, and even bearing the personality traits he once had that he always hated. Regulus was a mirror of him that he cannot escape, a version of him w all the traits he never liked from his own self; bc he wanted to play god right, then he shall suffer the consequences as well
But w regards to the pendant, I mean it's pretty obvious is is the Philosopher's Stone, so what role does it play now Regulus? I do wanna say that it's like,, more like smth similar like the sentimonster thing in miraculous ladybug, the pendant/Philosopher's Stone is what gives Regulus life, it's connected to her somehow, and APPLe knows that. So if anything ever happens to the pendant, then smth is also gonna happen to Regulus, that's also the thing abt his punishment
He created her w the stone, and the stone is forever connected to her. And how could he even protect her properly w his new body, he's just an apple now, his arcane skills aren't as strong as they were before, Manus almost got the stone from them as well had they not escaped in time
Speaking of Manus it'd also make sense why they'd be after it, if the Philosopher's Stone can perfect the transmutation in one go, ofc they'd wanna get their hands on it, they could just create homunculus as their mindless followers right, powerful arcanists who listens to no one but Arcana, and APPLe knows that is still very much a possibility, and it haunts his every waking thought
#this makes me think now cause if APPLe really taught Regulus all those things abt alchemy#why didnt he teach her abt the Philosopher's Stone#she doesnt even know the pendant is the stone#cause for someone who claims shes a genius alchemist wouldnt she know?#but maybe he thinks that regulus will also do the same#after all she still has some traits of his#and a part of those traits are his impulsiveness and arrogance and ignorance#he cant risk her playing god like he did#ough but thats dope tho fhdndb#its also a better motivation for APPLe too like the creating life/a homunculus bit#reverse 1999 hcs#reverse 1999#an ask and an answer#kork-likes-bacon
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Well someone is betting awfully hard on my support. Bold of someone who loves flaunting her order's supposed competence
#liam isnt stupid he knows the power she holds over him despite his status#and as much as he hates being played like a pawn he is not about to push his luck against her#he is. way less aware of what kind of power he holds than lilian is so he doesnt know how to wield it in his favour#but even if he did he would just. would not have much reason to#he wants to be left in fucking peace and not butt heads with authorities any more than he has to to keep his friends out of the line of fir#laya plays dragon age#oc: liam hawke#also. how do varric and hawke not notice the presence of red lyrium#theyve been around it before; wouldnt they would notice its influence?
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i think brain wizard just likes to hear him talk. it's not like hes gonna be talking much after they do what they want to do to him :) half spaders teachers want to turn him into a god i think hes gonna pick up on it cuz i dont think they can act normal around him
#yes i went and checked they have transfiguration fourth period#idk what the fuck he has written on the blackboard#give me the stupid little school drama we deserve. (i realize spader was in school for One Day before kicking the bucket)#bw was in that episode for like 0.5 minutes and died also but i think hes funny and horrible so i think about him a lot#didnt look at a reference for him btu i did look up what period they had his class. priorities#he doesnt show up during their class sequence so idk. i wouldnt have seen him.#probably just sitting in the back going ah. <3 two spaders.#ANYWAYS#adventure time#distant lands#digital#spader#blaine#brain wizard#and a bunhc of other students. larrys there. roots guy.#peps even there#not cadebra because she Skips Class. maybe spader should skip with her.#different teachers show it in different ways. bufo doesnt show it Atall but he does write Love; Spader in the fake runaway note#like. 'i totatlllyyyy know my student. he uh. uh. well he totally likes me and my class a lot. so.'#i have got to stop talking.#'i dont think they can act normal around him' i saw him and potable wizard talking. EYYY SPADER MY BEST FRIEND SPADERRRR cmon.
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hang on are cougars like panthers
#'the cougar also known as the panther' SCREAM#dont mind me rewatching carmilla as a side effect of my newfound interest in vampires#you'd think it was renewed interest in vampires but no#i actually have never been all that interested in vampires as their own thing i was just gay#and i dont think carmilla really explored the concept itself#like A* in using the medium. D or whatever in exploring their subject matter#actually tbf their subject matter was lesbianism so. again probably an A. they knew what they wanted and they did it well#idk how letter grades work tbh#also not actually sure how much they got into the vampire thing which is why im rewatching to check#bc i was reading iwtv and i was like damn carmilla left stuff on the table#but i also think a lot went over my head#even just english wise im a little stunned at how much i didnt catch. like i was fluent in 2015 for sure but. you do keep learning words#also carmilla is like a popculture remix and i dont have a lot of popculture knowledge so a lot of that went over my head too#now i have just enough to know that im missing a lot#like theres a line in s1 where laura goes 'im living with a vampire. an honest to lestat vampire' and like. never caught that#bc i didnt know how the fuck that was fhkjghgh#but anyway im watching s2 and laura's like 'vampire seductress here is just crabby bc im not falling for her 17th century idea of game'#and like they keep calling armand Ancient right? but carmilla is not much younger#just the difference in framing is what made me start thinking abt it all#like carmilla is 400smth and laura is aware abt that to joke abt it and probably thinks it's a little hot but then you think abt how they#depict that kinda age with armand like what he says to madeleine. 'how do you go on when everything from your era is gone'#and sure carmilla has that loneliness but DAMN. like fuck. shes been doing this same trick. being like the abigail hobbs to the dean for#centuries? i mean there was that century or idk how long where she was buried alive or whatever. but THAT TOO#like damn fuck!!!!!!!!!! ive been going through the fanfic again this week and like there really isnt much#at least doesnt seem to be much that explores this. unless it's in all the aus bc i filtered those out (and still got them)#also interesting difference is if i remember correctly the hollstein happy ending is that carmilla becomes human#in iwtv of course like every important relationship is between vampires. and every lover turns vampire. and every vampire is a lover#sorta. bc abuse themes and stuff. so the inversion makes sense but wouldnt it have been kinda cool if she turned laura tho#anyway. can you believe they were like 'well shes a cougar thats her job and also her supernatural power' dhfkhjgkh as i said: A*
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Ykno the suckiest thing about being broken up with for someone else is that like. Well I'm doing generally fine, all things considered, but I Am kinda sad thinking about the things I've lost and all the casual affection that I can't have now.
But she's out there having all the affection she wants from her coworker, and it's just like. Damn this feels so skewed and SO unfair.
#speculation nation#and then U add in the fact that the girl she broke up with me for is already dating someone else (poly sort of situation)#and im just like. WHYYYYY did she break up with me instead of trying to negotiate poly???#she was gonna at first but when i expressed concern about poly given her obvious communication problems about it#then she dropped me like a hot coal. like sorry i wasnt about to let myself be stood up and ignored for basically a whole day#just to accept u trying to negotiate poly. like What?????#anyways i may have a bit of a history with being a bit of an asshole and breaking up with them#but at LEAST ive never broken up with anyone to immediately start dating someone else#and at LEAST ive broken up with them in person and not over text!!! the fuck?????#i keep alternating between 'surprisingly okay with it all' and 'maybe a little sad' and 'absolutely fucking LIVID'#and i keep wanting to yell at her more but i already said quite a lot of things. so id just be repeating myself#and at that point id just be a vitriolic piece of shit. which i try not to be.#so im letting her live in peace while i continue to be So Pissed about it and it just sucks man lmfao#why do i gotta be the bigger person fr. i even apologized for the hurtful things i was saying in anger. literally in that same conversation.#and she gets to pull this stunt and walk free and spend so much time with her new 'love' ignoring the world etc etc#honestly i hope it fails miserably for her. bc sure theres a chance it works out but every single part of this is impulsive and So Stupid.#and even tho my ex agreed with me when i told her it was INSANE. she was just like 'i have to' like OKAY????#jesus fucking christmas she's revealed a side to me that i really hadnt seen before.#so i hope it fails and i hope she tells me about it. i hope she owns up to her mistakes. for my own satisfaction.#but i have 0 intention on ever taking her back. because what the fuck????#i may be a flawed individual with plenty of problems. but i still have basic fucking dignity. and i am NOT accepting this back in my life.#and god damn her friend is moving into the unit across from mine for this coming year#and i may have to see my ex sometimes bc of it 😭😭😭#the friend seemed generally level headed tho. idk if i happen across him & he doesnt avoid me maybe i'll ask him what he thinks of this#bc she was treating me with such love and affection showing me off to all her friends. and then she drops me like a fucking coal.#i wouldnt say i made friends with them myself but we were at least friendly. so i doubt theyd have a good opinion of her for this.#so would the friend loyalty take precedence? or would he be willing to chat with me and confirm Yeah what the fuck?#bc if i had a friend who did this same exact thing id be side-eyeing them SO hard.#id support them bc theyre my friend but i would also be like 'hey uh Why did you do that. that was pretty awful of u you know that right'#& itd also make me more cautious of them too. for being Able to drop someone so suddenly lol.
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exactly two hundred pages in anna karenina and something just clicked in my head. alexei alexandrovich sort of parallels madame zoe heger [town square throws rocks at me]
#i say “sort of”!!!#we don’t know what went behind the scenes#but i imagine (based off of charlotte’s accounts of her in the shape of madame beck) that she was probably colder to constantin when+#suspicions rose. the difference is that alexei didntbreak the connection (he probably will in the later pages dont spoil me) while she did#“it was too dreadful for him to recognize his real position and in his soul he closed locked and sealed the drawer in which he kept his#feelings for his family—that is his wife and son”#<- how SAD!!!!!#im a charlotte supporter by heart but that doesnt mean i cant feel bad for mme heger .#she did all that she could to protect his husband+family’s reputation.. aint no fucking way she would allow a scandal to ruin it all#and same goes for alexei#“okayy what the fuck are you talking about” this is in light of the speculation that mme heger ripped the love letters#and so we wouldnt really know if charlotte’s love was unrequited or not#tbf even if it was unrequited i kinda get mme heger bc ppl might misconstrue either way and twist it into smth else#SO to be safe and clear she did what she did#in short it’s constantin heger’s fault JDJGKSNSN#rambling on#reading tag#anna karenina#villette#charlotte brontë#constantin heger#what in the tmz shit is this why am i speculating the lives of real (and DEAD) people
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