#she doesn’t really love killing but she’s not afraid of violence lol

[harrowedsoup]

I just think the idea of Harrow holding Gideon’s leash metaphorically or physically is hot alright. Like she’s tiny and Gideon right there, connected to her and maybe she doesn’t control her every movement but if she points at someone and says ‘Get them Griddle’ and Gideon just kills them.

Harrow would totally kill anyone that Gideon asked her too but that feels more like a kid telling their mom that someone was mean to them. Also Gideon would never ask her to do anything like because she wants to do stuff for Harrow, not the other way around.

[devswritingcornerorsmth]

overwatch ratings based on how they would date

did this a while ago but spent too much time on it for it to not be posted. this is just a personal opinion and personal ratings based off lore and bias tbh. this will be updated with every hero (if I remember to lol)

Tanks:

D.VA: 6/10. Caring and loving, fun gaming dates, but gets recognized a lot, and if it came down to it she’d choose her job to protect south korea over her lover

Doomfist: 4/10. He’d be a gentleman but probably only in it for sex or to be a sugar daddy. He’d treat his “lover” with respect tho so not a total loss i guess.

Junker Queen: 7/10. After the shit she’s been thru i think she doesnt really want a partner cuz shes afraid they’re just using her to get to the throne or that she’ll lose them. She’s protective and caring but also a bit overprotective to the point where it’s like okay calm down. Also might get into a few fights but eh.

Orisa: 0/10. she thinks it would be cute to be in a relationship but knows she cant be in one due to being the “protector of numbani”. so no.

Ramattra: 8/10. Deadass depends if it’s an omnic or not. If his lover is an omnic he will cherish them and take care of them, knowing that they’re one of the few things he loves in this life. If it’s a human then theres some. Problems. He doesnt open up easily and while he’s still protective and caring he can sometimes get very distant towards them because he fears that they only got close to him to use him or kill him.

Reinhardt: 9/10: Perfect gentleman. Treats you with respect and love, and cherishes you no matter what. -1 is because he can be really loud sometimes even when he doesnt mean to be

Roadhog: 5/10. I think of him as aroace but he would try and give it a shot just to feel what it’s like. Hes very quiet but also very calm. He would listen to his lover and do his best to help them, but he moves around a lot thanks to junkrat now and might cut off communication with you just to keep you safe when he's on the run

Sigma: 5/10. A real gentleman, would treat his lover with respect and kindness and love. Only downside is when he has one of his mind breaks and breakdowns. He forgets who he is and just focuses on violence. Also his control of gravity in that state is very fucky so if he’s having a breakdown his lover might get throw to the ground. He feels like jackshit afterwards and probably realizes it’s best not to have someone he cares about so close to him

Wrecking Ball: 0/10 no. he would simply not even if he wanted to. Aroace hampter 

Winston: maybe a 1/10. i feel like he doesnt want a romantic relationship with anybody and just wants friends (aroace monke)

Zarya: 6/10. Protective and caring but would focus too much on her job. would also pick her country over her lover if it did come down to it

Mauga: 8/10: Would treat his lover right and give them anything they asked for. Free beach house, gifts, and a loving, protective, obsessive bf. -2 because slight yandere vibes and can get too possesive-

Damage:

Ashe: 6/10. Partners in crime kinda thing but if you’re not really into that stuff she’s probably not that into you. She has BOB watching you when she cant during a fight but shes always next to you when she can be.

Bastion: 0/10. Dude just wants to live in the woods with his bird he doesnt want that stuff.

Cassidy: 8/10. Southern sweetheart. Treats his partner with love and respect. Only downside is that he’d be out a lot doing his job, but he would let somebody else do it to be with you if it’s a special occasion or if he really wants to stay with you.

Echo: 2/10. Not big on romance but would try it out for science. Sadly in the end it’s not real love so. Oof

Genji: 9/10. Probably doesn’t want a relationship at first because of his body but he gets used to it and opens up his heart. Honestly very good boyfriend would be there to listen and help you with stuff. -1 cuz he might be out doing overwatch stuff a lot and also might not be the most exciting person to be around if you're a hyper person.

Hanzo: 6/10. Can’t see him getting in a relationship after everything thats happened but if he did he’d be kinda bad at it but you could tell that he’s trying his best.

Junkrat: 5/10. I love him but i cant really see him *staying* in a relationship for long. He doesn’t know how to stop sometimes and can get really annoying really quick but he loves making things for his lover and would do his best to keep them away from the dangerous bombs. He loves them a lot but doesn’t know how to turn the love down. Really clingy so if youre into that cool.

Mei: 9/10. Absolute sweetheart. Loves you to bits and takes you out to her favorite restaurants and stuff. -1 cuz you had to have a long distance relationship due to her being in Antarctica and the fact she slept for years with no communication with her lover-

Phara: 4/10. Cares about her job more but would be an okay girlfriend, doing the basics.

Reaper: 1/10. He’s done with love and would probably just just be a sugar daddy or just be there for sex. Even if he did find himself feeling something he’d ignore it and move on

Sojourn:5/10. Not interested in dating or finding love but if it finds her she’ll go for it. Pretty nice girlfriend, makes sure to take care of her lover but does focus on her job a lot more sometimes.

Soldier:76: 0/10. Not interested and has made sure to break off any past relationships. Doesn’t want the people he cares about to get hurt. So he still cares but doesnt go see them.

Somba: 7/10. Would be a pretty good girlfriend if she wanted to have a relationship. She keeps all people she cares about far away and unaware of her deeds at Talon. So a long distance relationship until she can take some time off to go see her lover and vibe.

Symmetra: 3/10. Doesn’t know how to even start a relationship and doesn’t really want to. Her job is important to her so she wouldn’t want distractions from it.

Torbjorn: 6/10. His wife and him had a few children and have been married for a while so he’s probably got the whole love thing covered.

Tracer: 9/10. Probably one of the best on this list. She’s loving and caring and makes sure to spend a lot of time with her partner. 

Widowmaker: 3/10. Last partner she had was um. killed by her so. +3 if you could break down her walls and see the real her but very low chance

Venture: 8.5/10: Would talk to you about rocks, fossils, and everything else they can think about. They’d even let you name rocks around the house. -2 cuz they’ll talk your ear off about rocks n stuff while also bouncing around everywhere. They can also be gone for long periods of time but always makes sure to call. If you can deal with the infodumping and adhd then 9.5/10 for you 

Support:

Ana: 5/10. She doesn’t want a relationship but she’d be very loving and caring to her lover.

Baptiste: 8/10. Great boyfriend, lovers needs always come first and he’s very open and always has an ear out to listen. -2 because he’s constantly on the run and the relationship could get stressed.

Brigitte: 5/10. Mostly focused on her work but would make a pretty good girlfriend if she finds the right person. The relationship would mostly be a test one because she lowkey doesn’t understand it.

Kiriko: 4/10. Would love to be in a relationship but protecting her home is more important than finding love to her.

Lucio: 9/10. Actual sweetheart. Would make music for you and would cancel shows last second if something came up and you needed something. If you need anything he’ll be there to help.

Mercy: 8/10. She’s really focused on her work but no matter what would take time to come stay with you for a while. -2 because sometimes too focused on work and sometimes doesnt have time to see you for a long time.

Moira: 0/10. Not looking for a relationship and would probably lie just to get you strapped to a table and butchered.

Zenyatta: 7/10. Would make a decent boyfriend but he can’t have relationships due to being a monk. He’d be there to listen and to give advice when you needed it.

Lifeweaver: 9/10. Perfect boyfriend in every way. Like no competition. -1 cuz he's on the run from multiple governments so he won't be able to talk all the time or be with you much to his dismay. multiple texts a day tho

Illari: 4/10. Tbh I can't see her getting into a relationship after everything. She's too scared that something will happen with her powers again and hurt her lover

[thegrimdog13]

Omg I genuinely wanna see your ideas for an opposite au? That would be really interesting! (I'm new here btw so Hi!!)

Opposite au headcannons

pt. 1 ?

Welcome to my page! I hope you stick around. Also feel free to suggest more!For the opposite au I couldn’t think of if I should just make their personalities opposite or also the things they do. Like I could make them cops or something but I think I would leave that for another au. So we are doing personality. You can suggest the other one tho if you’re interested! Alright let’s start then!

————————————————————————

•Most of the creepypasta in this au are forced to be killers like Tim in Marble Hornets.

•Jeff instead of an angry boi is very scared of everything

•Jeff isn’t in everyone’s face and hates to be mean to people 

•Jeff hates killing people he thinks it’s awful. But he is under Slenderman control so he has to.

•When Randy did what he did he just got afraid of him instead of wanting to kill him.

•Liu isn’t a chill big brother instead he has a short temper.

•Liu doesn’t want to hear anything Jeff has to say and does not forgive him for what he has done.

•Liu hates Jeff and finds him disgusting even though it wasn’t Jeff’s fault he killed people.

•Jane ( the killer) is not mad at Jeff and understands it wasn’t his fault.

•Jane is friends with Jeff 

•Jane doesn’t really get along with Liu and hates how he treats Jeff and other people.

•Nina hates Jeff so much it’s ridiculous.( I basically turned her love into hate)

•Nina thinks Jeff is the ugliest man she’s ever seen

•Nina is aro ace and isn’t interested in inappropriate stuff or Romance. ( very unlike normal Nina lol)

•Sally is a little gremlin.

•Sally loves killing people and often tries to kill other creepypastas

•Sally hates playing games and thinks that killing is the funniest thing you can do.

•Ben loves water

•Ben just loves swimming in the water and splashing around.

•Ben is now super energetic instead of a chill guy.

•(Laughing Jack) is now a crying Jack.Because he loves children but is forced to kill them.

•LJ is always crying and slouches a lot.

•LJ never dances around and is often sitting in a corner and crying.

•It’s basically the same with Laughing Jill 

•Ticci Toby is super sensitive to pain and hates even getting the smallest cut.

•Toby doesn’t have any sarcasm and energy instead he is very literal in everything he says and very mep about everything. 

•Toby is basically Dwight from the office but with less energy.

•Clockwork is no longer a badass she is whimpy 

•Clocky hates violence and avoids it if she can

•Clocky doesn’t got out much hating being around people and the attention.

•Slendy is still the same in this au but instead of being super tall and skinny he is a short round guy. 

•Eyeless Jack ‘s demon is more in control and is constantly making growling sounds. Basically he is more feral lol

•EJ will start to sprint like a cat randomly on all fours and everything.

•EJ loves loves organs ( in my main au ej’s demon loves them and not Jack himself. In fact he hates them) 

•Lulu isn’t quiet and yells all the time

•Lulu instead of her sweet self she is mean and rude.

•Lulu is basically like that one bitch in highschool that is like omg I hate that outfit but no offenses ( Have you ever met one of those 😑)

-Marble Hornets is tied in with this au as well

•Masky/ Tim  loves killing and embraces it.

•Tim hates Toby and Jeff ( they have a father son dynamic in my regular au)

•Tim gets annoyed at anything Brian says.Even tho they are dating. ( They are much happier together in my main au. But they do have their moments especially after everything that happened.)

•Brian/ hoodie hates himself and thinks he is ugly. 

•Brian is shy and not every outgoing 

•Brian doesn’t want to give into the operator ( in my main au I thing Brian didn’t want to be Hoodie but he just gave in because it was becoming to much)

————————————————————————

Anyway hope you enjoyed love you all ❤️

[d0etickk]

Bio for Violet, all but her full story-form backstory. Woo!

(made this moodboard quick lol)

Name: Violet Annabeth McCain

Nicknames: Vi, Violet in Wonderland(affectionately named by her paternal grandmother after her habits of wondering off/zoning out as a kid before it all got way too creepy), Alice(same reason)

Age: Around 23 when first turned. Few years older in most I write about her.

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Pansexual/demiromantic

Nationality: American

Height: 5’8

Songs I associate with her: The Killing Moon - Echo & The Bunnymen, The Downward Spiral - Nine Inch Nails, Fool - Bôa, Zero - The Smashing Pumpkins, Rotten Apple - Alice In Chains, Mustard Seed - Kidneythieves, All I Want - The Cure, Freak On a Leash - Korn

Personality: Fascinated with death and decay.

Feral barn cat vibes. Can come off as curt or bitchy. Afraid of showing weakness/vulnerability(partly trauma and partly instinct, scared of being further hurt/exploited), but painfully craves safety and genuine connection. Self isolates as a coping mechanism.

A standoffish person, until she’s really comfortable. Can be blunt and/or out of pocket without realizing it. Deadpan sense of humor.

Addictive personality; lives dopamine hit to dopamine hit, has trouble telling herself “no” when nobody is there to interject. Craves catharsis(usually destructively).

“I can’t fix him, but I think I could top him and maybe that would calm him down” energy.

Can be flighty, relishes in escaping consequences. Lives in a cycle of numbness/denial, misery, and borderline mania. Copes with feelings of powerlessness/hopelessness with violence and/or isolation and vices. Grudge holder.

Love/hate relationship(kind of a phobia) with deer.

Mental illness: Struggles with disassociation(formed when she was young as a coping mechanism, persists into adulthood). Anxiety stemming from living in an abusive household.

Fun facts: Large birthmark on her left hip. Sometimes whistles when she talks. Says certain words differently(picked up from her grandparents lol) - ex. "warsh". Has an old pickup from her grandparents that she was fixing up before being infected. Always uncomfortably warm to the touch.

A time after her infection, she discovered she wasn’t the only Host THE STAG had. Vi spent a chunk of time hunting down and killing off another Host, which had conflicting reactions from THE STAG. While entertaining and impressive for a weaker Host to manage, the actions still warranted punishment and repayment. That is why present day Violet is far more mutated and ravenous than what she should have been in her stage of infection. She was forced to stop rebelling as such to not lose more of herself so rapidly(for now at least). She remains avoidant and hostile toward other Hosts.

Important family: Mother, Donna McCain(dead). Father, Bob McCain(deadbeat). Maternal grandparents Bonnie and Steve Sweeney-Graham(alive), which she stayed with her teen years onward.

Strengths: Survival knowledge(hunting, tracking, foraging, etc.), first aid knowledge, good with a hunting rifle, decent at stealth. Little more than average knowledge on fixing cars.

Abilities: Heightened senses: can track basic scent trails, can see fairly well in the dark, high stamina/endurance, heightened pain tolerance(or at least ability to mask pain), quicker healing process with greater capability(Hosts are pretty hard to kill), heightened immune system, ability to digest raw meat without issue. Teeth regrow(Knocked one out? Give it a couple weeks, it’ll be back brand new).

Weaknesses: Frequent headaches and body aches. Not as effective in close combat compared to shooting ability. Gets hungry much quicker, has to consume a lot of calories to sustain herself(body weight fluctuates quickly, especially in the winter). Doesn’t get much sleep, always a little sleep deprived. Injury prone(since she was a kid, but more so now that body is less mentally restricted), sensitive to light and noise, zones out/gets distracted easily, especially by animals(on the flip side, gets super focused on one thing and becomes unaware of surroundings), quick temper, foggy memory/can be forgetful.

Fighting style: A stealth and endurance hunter. Prefers to hunt long-range with her hunting rifle, or use traps. Tries not to directly confront, but gets real flexible about that the hungrier she gets. When confronted directly, fights like a cornered animal.

Brief backstory(subject to change as I write the actual story, of course):

Violet lived with her parents for the first decade of her life. Her mother working part-time, her trophy hunting father being an abusive drunk who made existing around him borderline impossible. At 11 years old, Violet's parents divorced - only for her mother to fall ill months later. She became bedridden, and Vi went to live with her maternal grandparents part-time(her eccentric "Grammy" and borderline dooms-dayer Grandpa), while seeing her father, paternal grandparents, and cousins on the weekends. This is when The Stag began stalking her - starting in the woods behind her paternal grandparent's country home, where her father was now living, persisting even as she went back home(albeit less intensely).

Vi was an extremely troubled child during this point of her life, becoming obsessed with death, and imagery of deer. On weekends, she would often disappear into the forest while the other children played around the neighborhood, coming back dirty and glassy eyed to grandparents worried sick. At home, she’d draw pictures—the same kind every time—and stare endlessly out the window into the fields beyond the streetlights.

The child eventually began having behavioral issues; becoming irritable, territorial over her food and belongings, picking fights with other children, and wondering off without permission. The very last straw was when she was caught by one of her cousins in the trees, smeared in blood, chewing on a dead bird.

She was then pulled from visitations and schooling and put into therapy. These issues were chocked up to strain from the divorce and her mother's illness worsening pre-existing conditions, compounding on bullying in school. These claims were solidified as the child’s issues slowly eased with consistent counseling and isolation from wooded areas.

Counseling, however, could not fix the wound The Stag had inflicted on her psyche. Violet’s time in therapy mainly taught her that she did not enjoy being the center of attention—that it was better to conceal things, pretend like nothing was wrong, and save herself the trouble.

Violet, as she aged and The Stag could no longer verbally communicate with her, lost a lot of the memory of her childhood(both organically from trauma, and purposefully from The Stag). She’d forgotten much of her outbursts, and of her time in the forest behind that house. Violet simply tried not to think about the missing pieces, as they both unsettled and humiliated her. The Stag’s voice instead faded into her subconscious, intending to continue influencing her now in subtle ways.

By high school, two years after the Stag could no longer verbally communicate with her, she had become a quiet, well-mannered, if a bit strange kid. Isolated, little friends, trying to salvage what she had of a quiet schooling experience, despite the lingering issues with her mental health(that she learned to push down and mask, if she wanted any kind of peace with her family).

This time of her life was when she really got close with her maternal grandparents, especially her grandpa. Her mental state was at an all-time high. While not saying much, it gave her the chance to bond over shared interests and develop essential life skills: such as underage use of a firearm, canning homegrown foods, and being forced to learn mechanic skills if she ever wanted to drive. Her grandpa even gifted her an old broken down pickup to eventually use, teaching her how to fix it up.

Months after her 18th birthday, Violet's mother passed away, as her condition had gradually worsened over the years. Violet herself had mentally prepared for this, rationalized it completely out enough to numb herself. Her grandparents, however, did not do as well. Her grammy went into a depressive spiral and became all but a recluse, and her grandpa kept himself busy with work and chores to mask the grief.

It was harder to deal with the shift of her grandparent’s personalities than the death of her mother itself. At home was the only place Violet didn't feel like a ghost, or some kind of freak.

It didn’t get much easier in the years approaching her 23rd birthday. While she wasn’t taking care of her grammy, or trying her best to have a real conversation with her grandpa again, she kept herself busy. Busy shooting, working, and most notably fixing up the old truck—which felt like an utterly empty task without her grandfather’s help.

She grew distant with her friend-acquaintances after graduation and wondered aimlessly trying to figure out what she wanted to go to college for, if she even wanted college, or something else. She certainly didn't do good enough in high school for any scholarships—and her track record wasn’t the cleanest either. That didn’t stop any of her still present family members from badgering her about finding a career path, and furthering her education, instead of reclusing and scraping by working minimum wage.

To make things even worse, missing fragments of her childhood had begun to gnaw at the fragile strings of her mind. She’d recall things — images, voices in nightmares, overcome with a sense of nostalgic dread, awaking as if the darkness of her room and the moonlit fields outside her neighborhood held a thousand eyes, all staring at her.

At that time, Violet couldn’t manage a single full night of sleep.

She eventually, despite knowing about the addiction that ran in her family, found vices to escape her worries, upon her own worsening mental health and relapse into past negative habits.

Violet felt like spectator walking through her own life, watching from third person. Too depressed and cowardly to rekindle past friendships, reduced to an afterthought within the walls of her own home. Tormented by a sickening sense of purpose she just couldn’t place. She felt like a nobody, spiraling deeper and deeper into a black hole of terrifying, confusing nothing.

The Stag did not feel the same way.

Isolated prey are the easiest to pick off, but Violet fell to a much less merciful fate than death.

Deep in the trees, Violet came to know the feeling of being prey—and the purpose the hunter had for her all along.

(Present Vi is a couple years after her infection, having fled home to live a life on the outskirts of society, in the woods half of the year, venturing outside when she can blend in. She remains as distant as she can manage while handling the grief of the life that was ripped away from her, the uncontrollable hunger and mutations she was now plagued by, and the parasitic entity that forced it all upon her.)

[kobeniliker]

HI AGAIN THE NEW CHAPTER!!!!! 123!!!! CHAINSAW MAN. AUGH!H!!!!

Spoilers, rambling & analysis under the cut!!! Warnings for canon typical violence/death/unpleasant situations.

OK SO. 

I was wrong about this lady being the death devil!! 

 (I will probably be wrong about a lot of things lol, I just like to organize my thoughts. Might start making these posts w every chapter, idk!)

The falling devil!!! That makes a lot of sense!!! People falling to their death. I think her powers would tie into a fear of heights as well. But as I have seen some other people point out it also seems to tie into falling into depression or love, or really any vulnerable state. Which is pretty important considering Asa’s tendency to fall in critical moments. She in particular would probably be more afraid of this devil, which makes this confrontation very. difficult.

I LOVE her design. She seems so polite (aside from the murders and the whole being very evil devil thing)! A chef! She cooks!! She has a lot of arms!

Interestingly, she is very human looking. Remove some extra limbs and give her a neck, shes just a really tall chef. Cool, but. 

?????? (Image from Chainsaw man chapter 34, kishibe talking during Prinzi’s introduction)

Devils with human-like appearances are friendlier toward humans. Well, Prinzi and Angel weren’t too warm and fuzzy, but they didn’t kill humans that much. Angel even expressed some regret in doing so, and actively avoided touching humans to protect them.

The 3 horsemen we know of so far are interesting cases, because they look just like humans aside from the eyes. Yoru tries to get Asa to kill people and is the war devil, but she still tries to protect Asa and even seems to comfort her. She didn’t take over Asa’s entire body because she ‘doesn’t know enough about humans to blend in’. Why does she have to be a human, couldn’t she just use her bird form to spy? I dunno, but it’s been established that Yoru isn’t the smartest. Fami is still pretty mysterious, but she didn’t directly kill everyone inside the aquarium. She could have, but she made another devil do it for her. She offered to help Asa and Yuko, and she kind of did save Yuko from dying, at least immediately. She is cooperating with Yoshida’s interrogation. Makima seems pretty detached from everything and does not take issue with hurting humans for her own gain, but was very much able to maintain working relationships and live as a human without being found out as a devil.

The Falling Devil is pretty human-like, but she introduces herself as the Falling Devil and resumes killing and tormenting people with no regard for who sees her. She has a similar level of hostility to humans as, say, the bat devil. So far she seems to enjoy killing people. 

I think this is particularly interesting as she is the 2nd introduced primal fear devil. The darkness devil also looked pretty weird, but definitely had human physical traits. It basically is just a bunch of humans stacked on top of each other and a cool helmet and cape. The darkness devil also does not take any issue with killing or harming humans despite its humanlike appearance.

It’s just. An interesting pattern!!!!!

Another very interesting piece of dialogue:

Did someone send her? Who? Why? This implies some sort of organized society or system in hell that would allow devils to communicate to each other. It seems like they sent her as sort of representative? I have a lot of questions!

And Asa. Oh my god. I fucking cried. 

We have some more of her backstory which is nice, but. Holy Fuck.

She risked her LIFE to save that cat. That was the only remaining family she had. And she was willing to trust this person who promised that they could give her cat a better life, she chose her cat’s happiness over her own. And that trust was betrayed in the worst way possible, in the name of ‘fairness’.

This poor kid. I can’t. She lost everything and she blames herself for it. She believes she killed her mom, her cat died because of her misplaced trust, the one friend she made died trying to protect her from bullies (in a very twisted attempt, there are much better ways to deal with bullying, but I think Yuko genuinely cared about Asa).

We know she lives alone now, and knowing where she was before I’m glad for her. I assume that she left the orphanage sometime after this. But we know she’s never really been social, she’s introverted, she withdraws from others, which explains more about her tendencies to avoid social interactions and shut out everything around her. Unrelated, but I love her short hair and sweater.

I think this is also an interesting parallel to Denji. Denji, who never really had anything but still lost so much. He blames himself for the death of his father, of his friends and adoptive family. He really loved pochita, he gave him everything he could but still lost him. Denji who is loud and puts himself out there even when he really shouldn’t. Denji who isn’t very book smart but is friendly and loyal and social.

The cat/dog parallels. 

It is very, very interesting.

2 weeks till the next chapter!!! Might add more stuff as I think of it, but these are my initial thoughts for now :)

[paper-pixies]

Me when I reblog an ask game hoping you’ll reblog it >:D I have questions about your guys for you <3

Let’s do 31 for Asylum/Bloodlust, 23 and/or 12 for Shilan, and 98 for Adriite to start :)

Oh nooo don't trick me into reblogging an ask game by putting it on your blog first....how awful.....anyway....

31. How would they describe one another? [Asylum/Bloodlust]

“Bloodlust is… well, he’s incredibly loyal to me. He may not be a complete buffoon but he certainly isn’t the brightest, and he does what I tell him with exceptional efficiency, so what more could I really ask for? He does my dirty work and cleans up the messes so that I rarely have to engage with the less savory parts of this lifestyle, knowing that I will reward him when the task is done. And yes, he may be something of an uneducated brute, but that’s exactly what I keep him for and, well, no one else is so absolutely devout as he is. He’s like my loyal hound, always obedient and eager to please, and I do love him for that. I mean, is there really any other sort of relationship worth having with a man?”

“Describe Asylum? I mean she’s a goddess, what more do you want? She does whatever she wants and gets whatever she wants and doesn’t give a shit about what anyone else tries to tell her to do. She’s fuckin’, crazy smart too, just always twenty steps ahead of everyone else, like she’s already got everyone in her spiderweb even if they don’t know it yet. She’s just in control of everything and if she’s not in control of something then it’s because it’s not important enough for her to waste her time on. She’s powerful as hell and damn scary, too. She put up with a lotta fucked up shit from people in the past and now she makes sure everyone knows they should be afraid of her. If she’s pissed at you? You’re already a dead man, doesn’t matter what you try— if you’re lucky maybe she’ll beat the shit out of you herself. She’s beautiful, just the most fucking beautiful woman to ever live, puts every topside and Midcrest bitch to shame without even trying. I swear she’s a gift from the spirits and we’re all just lucky enough to get to be alive at the same time she is.”

23. Who said "I love you" first? [Shilan]

As the one who takes most of the big steps in their relationship, Taylan said it first. And pretty soon into their relationship, too. Now that that door has been opened though, Shiloh absolutely says it more.

12. What is something their S/O does that makes them flustered? [Shilan]

Taylan doesn’t get flustered that much but despite his pacifism it does get him when Shiloh does/offers violence. Obviously, he would never want his partner to kill people ever if possible, but maybe sometimes when Shiloh says they would kill anyone who got in the way of their being together, maybe that makes Taylan a little flustered. And don’t get him started on the times Shiloh has jumped in to fight off some Forest monster or other to keep him safe.

Shiloh is easy to fluster purely because they just think Taylan is so incredibly attractive, so him showing any extent of skin will pretty much do it. Which is completely just a Shiloh thing, their clan isn’t stressed about covering up and it isn’t a thing with anyone else besides Taylan, they truly just think this man is so stunning that it’s likely to instantly get them even if Tay isn’t intentionally trying to fluster them in the slightest. It took them a while to get used to seeing him without a shirt lol

98. Who would burn the world down for who? [Adriite]

Ace, easily. Pyrite has too strict of a moral code to ever allow herself to do something like that for any one person, whereas Ace has been on the brink of snapping more than once and has always been more willing to prioritize those close to him above anything and everything else. Of course, it would take quite a bit for Ace to take that path if Pyre was actually with them. Just having her around is often enough to help Ace keep himself in check, but he’s also well aware of the fact that she would absolutely despise him if he ever did anything like that for her sake.

[evansbby]

I don’t think the anon that said the part about Bucky SA-ing omega meant it in a bad way. I don’t think they meant it as an attack or came across as aggressive. Yes, it’s a dark fic but you can still not like violence in it - it doesn’t have to be one or the other. I also didn’t like that part. That’s not an attack on you or your writing or lack of tags (like I said it’s nuanced) I just meant it in the sense of fuck Bucky for doing that and trying to “win” at one thing in life. It was definitely unexpected and I think it was such an important addition for multiple reasons partly bc we get to understand Bucky a bit more and his thoughts towards Steve but also the fact that Steve showed a lot of character development. I was honestly v surprised he didn’t kill him. The main reason I think it’s a great addition is because we see omega really fight back and give Bucky what he deserves. She showed so much physical strength and wasn’t afraid to talk back to an alpha. I was honestly v proud of her and was rooting for her! The part where she kicks him and she runs away only to be just dragged back was so well written I could literally just see the scene playing in my head as I read it. You’re an amazing writer. I absolutely LOVED poyt5 I literally cried while reading it which is very rare especially when I read fics. You didn’t waste your time writing it!! I was so surprised when I saw the last chapter dropped bc it was like the middle of the week but I am extremely grateful you did because I was having such a bad week and it lifted my spirits. I know Steve is still bad or at least the actions he’s made are bad but I really really loved how much he changed. I loved the part when omega retreats into herself again and Steve tells her to snap out of it right away. I also lowkey felt bad for him when she didn’t say she loved him right away even tho he absolutely did not deserve it. I loved that we got to see the home life of both omega and Steve to understand them more just like they grew to understand each other more. The addition of Sarah was lovely and I’m so glad you decided to add her in especially with how much wisdom and advice she passes on to omega especially bc we see that Steve is absolutely weak for omega. Now I need to read POYT 5 again lol

Girl I GET that it’s not an attack. I’m just saying what does that person want me to do about it? I can’t go back and change it and I justified why I added it in. Look if I was a reader and i read a super long 37.7k long fic and didn’t like some aspects of it, that’s fine. That’s normal. What I wouldn’t think of doing is telling the author what I didn’t like and why. It’s just unnecessary and lacks tact??? Idk maybe that’s just me. I even thanked the person for their other comments??? Like what more do you want me to do??? Never in my response did I say it was an attack or say it was aggressive so idk where you’re getting those words from. Just try and see it from my point of view for a second.

That being said, I really appreciate your review and I’m happy you liked it💖 I’m sorry you were having a bad week but glad that the update somewhat lifted your spirits. Also BAHAHA I wondered whether people would feel bad for Steve bc omega didn’t say I love you back to him when he expected her to like MULTIPLE times throughout the fic. I know some people deffo felt satisfied with that, but it’s interesting to see that people felt sorry for him too! That’s honestly what I aim to do as a writer, make everyone confused with how they feel about Steve hahahaha thank you so much for reading bestie💖💖

[thepringlesofblood]

back on my bullshit again - i have 2 audiobooks on my libby app rn, all systems red and graceling, and my brain is stuck in compare and contrast mode, so hot take.

murderbot and katsa (from graceling) would get along like a house on fire

i mean. the parallels. the autistic coding. the gnc vibes. the capability of incredible violence coupled with the reluctance to use it. the fear of being forced to use that violence unwillingly (again) due to past trauma. fuck.

im listing all the parallels i noticed under the cut bc this is going to be a long one

*disclaimer: I love the murderbot audiobooks. the graceling audiobook can choke - they do not do it justice. my standards are probably way too high tho lol i’ve been reading and rereading graceling for like a decade*

the line that sparked this connection is from graceling - katsa and po are talking about her grace, and she says she hasn’t helped as many lives as she’s hurt, and he says “you have the rest of your life to tip the balance”

like. if that doesn’t capture mb’s vibe idk what does.

here’s the list

autistic coding. we all know mb is autistic, but katsa show so many signs of it that are easy to miss if you’re not looking for it but once you see it you can’t unsee it.

I made a whole other post about it but I mean - sensory issues, not picking up on social cues, bluntness, it’s all there baby.

plus katsa and mb are equally bad at identifying their own emotions and what they want (big picture).

they both have relationships with gender and sexuality than differ from the norms of the societies they’re in

obviously their relationships to gender are wildly different, but both differ from societal gender perception in-universe. katsa is seen as odd for her short hair, pants, and rejection of the societal expectation of women to get married and have kids. her relationship with Po is unique, and negotiated on their terms, not dictated by societal norms. meanwhile murderbot’s experience of gender and sexuality is inherently tied to its identity as a construct, and while i’m sure there are agender aroace humans in universe, mb repeatedly ties its identity to being a construct, like saying ‘constructs have less than null interest in humans or any other kind of sex’ instead of just ‘i have no interest in sex’

they’re both really, really good at fighting and killing people, but they choose to use that capability to protect their friends and the people they love.

they learn that they aren’t just made for killing, that they can do so much more, and that they can find a place for themselves where they’ll be safe, independent, doing work they like, and that they have friends who know what they are and aren’t afraid.

For a long time they were under the control of a greedy, corrupt authority, which forced them to enact senseless violence. They’re both conflicted about the things they were forced to do, and harbor serious guilt and self-loathing about it, but over the course of the book begin to heal and acknowledge their pasts while working to take control over their future.

both have serious issues and trauma related to losing control over mind and body - mb with its governor module, katsa with randa’s threats and leck’s grace. they will do anything to never feel like that again.

in fact, at some point both of them say something along the lines of “I want to keep my mind my own” - mb with “the inside of my mind had been my own for 35,000+ hours...I wanted to keep me the way I was” and when katsa is fighting with po when he first reveals his grace, she says “what thoughts of mine have you stolen?” and “It’s easy for you to say. You’re not the one whose thoughts are not your own!”

they both make friends with someone who is “like them,” (ART is another bot and Po is another Graceling), but whose skills complement their own and who share common interests, but come at them from new and interesting viewpoints. (ART learns to like media, but it’s a bigass spaceship that has wildly different perspectives on things than mb does, and Po’s great at fighting, but in a different way and for a very different reason than Katsa).

They spend a long time sharing these interests (watching media/training), until something external happens, and there’s a betrayal of some kind that they then work together to overcome in pursuit of a larger goal.

mb and ART share media and generally are on good terms until the Targets happen in Network Effect and ART sends the Targets after mb and they fight and make up in pursuit of the common goal of Protecting The Humans.

katsa and po train for a while until she refuses to hurt Lord Ellis, and then realizes Po’s lie about his grace, and they fight and make up in pursuit of figuring out the whole grandfather tealiff mystery.

this relationship is unique, and does not fit into in-universe societal expectations - others try to put labels on it, even close friends, but they’re wrong. it is what it is. these two are just going to do what they do and not care about what everyone else thinks.

also there’s some mindreading going on any way you slice it, and ART/po has more power in that division, and navigating that power imbalance is an important part of the relationship.

the feed is the sci-fi version of telepathy, don’t @ me. 

look, the best dnd classes are bard and rogue for a reason.  ninja + smooth talker = profit

welp. lets see if anyone else has ever combined these two incredibly niche interests

[worldformula]

I am asking about the aitsf au 👀

And I am answering! I’m gonna go down a bullet list of things I don’t think I’ve mentioned about our AU! Specifically about the siblings because my inbox is mostly about Ryuki + Saito lol so this will be a long one! Thank you for letting me go on and on about this AU seriously I enjoy it very much.

AITSF / AINI SPOILERS.

Warnings for violence, child abuse, and some seriously bad family dysfunction.

Saito has a scar around his neck, which he covers with a black choker (this is me trying to justify why he appears to be wearing two turtlenecks) (I know it’s because his model is weird but who cares). He got this from a childhood accident where Uru got angry and pushed him as they were swinging with ropes and he nearly got strangled to death. The scar is from the rope burns as he struggled. Uru wasn’t actually ever afraid of him until that day because Saito beat him up so badly for it that they had to get separated by the guards. This was also before Iris.

Following that, there is an ending where Uru finally gets to kill him (of course, it’s strangulation. Finish what you started, Uru.) but it’s also a bad one. Pretty much any ending where Saito gets killed is a bad one. But also you can imagine how insane A-Set stan Twitter is going to look following the news release that Iris’ brother killed her other brother (who killed her mother).

There was a period of 6 months where Uru and Saito just did not see each other, following Manaka’s murder. While So tried to figure out what to do about Saito, he just locked him in his room (though obviously he was let out for like, assessments and basic care) and had guards make sure no one went near (but mostly to make sure Saito didn’t get out). Uru did not know about this at all and was told he was sent away for health reasons.

Between the untreated physiological brain disorder making him upset and the distress of being stuck in The Room for so long, he developed a fear of being trapped / unable to escape. Once he was let out he moved rooms entirely and avoids The Room, which is left intact with proof of his tantrums / meltdowns (broken CRT tv, messed up walls and floors, etc).

Iris and Uru have no idea why he’s antsy about it and it bothers him immensely that they don’t have the same fear of being trapped as he does, even when he used to lock them in closets whenever he got angry with them.

This is also why he chooses to put So’s body in something as small and morbid as The Vase (it’s the vengeance babey). I have this headcanon outside of the AU but it fit really well into here, so this is the room where Hitomi shoots and kills Saito in her final girl bad ending. We love karmic retribution.

If the siblings just unionized against So, they could easily kick his ass and live like normal people. But they aren’t ever going to do that because Saito is so poisoned by the belief that he’s better than the others because he’s the true born son and they’re all inferior to him (which is undermined by the fact that So is more restrictive of him than the others + Saito himself knows he’s on thin ice constantly and is insecure about it).

So doesn’t really like any of his kids because he’s the root of all evil but if he had to pick a favorite it is actually Iris. Because Saito has a body count and Uru is deeply insecure to the point of being pathetic but at least Iris is a nice young woman who is doing literally everything she can to stay out of it. Tbh she’s slightly spared from the mind games by the sheer age gap between her and her brothers.

Despite literally all of this dysfunction, for the most part they all get along tentatively. Saito’s made himself the top of the pecking order, Uru follows Saito’s lead (but is extremely unhappy about it which is why he ends up violently repressed, susceptible to cult indoctrination, and trigger happy), and Iris respects them both from a sad distance.

The problem is that they occasionally have pretty good moments together so no matter how bad it gets, those few moments make them forget about it. Saito in particular occasionally does stand up for them against So. He was the one who convinced So to let Iris be an idol, for which she’s grateful. But he stands up to So on their behalf as a sort of power move, because neither of them have ever really stood up to their father the way Saito is able to (further establishing to them that he’s the favorite of them all).

On a lighter note, Uru in this AU is actually naturally a brunet and bleaches his hair blond. On a darker note, the combination of coloring his hair like Saito and the fact that he dresses like him (turtleneck + blazer) surely doesn’t mean anything about his self image relating to his older brother now does it.

That was 11 bullet points which I think is enough from me. Thank you!

[sadcatjae]

Pretty

Masterlist

here's a thing i wrote a while ago that i didn't post cus idk if anyone would wanna read it lol but it seems like a waste not to post it so here it is! idk if ill continue, but i really do love Pretty as a character. he's just a violent cinnamon roll who just wants a hug ;u;

.

CW: Explicit language, shooting/gun violence, graphic death, stabbing, blood and gore, mentions of physical abuse, disfigurement, misogyny, sexual harassment, ableism, ableist language

.

It was supposed to be easy. 

Go in, clock the guard, scare the teller, grab the cash, and leave town. 

Bambambam. Easy as pie, Farry likes to say, easy as fuckin’ pie. 

“This ain’t pie, boss,” Hyena yips, tying up the last of the hostages. He casts his asymmetrical stare over the vault full of tellers and customers, just regular folk who were in the wrong place at the wrong time. He licks his lips and leers at a young woman who flinches and tilts her face away. “But I wouldn’t mind a nibble anyhow…”

“Keep your hands off the girl, Hyena,” Farry drawls, nudging the security guard’s body with the tip of his pristine dress shoe. “I don’t know how the pigs got here so quick, but we’re trapped in tighter than a fuckin’ sardine can. Pretty, how’s it lookin�� out there?” 

Pretty peers out of the window, keeping out of snipers’ line of sight. He grimaces as he counts ten cars and more approaching in the distance. An entire battalion of blues. 

He lets the curtain shift back in front of the window and shakes his head at Farry. Not good. 

His boss swears quietly and runs a hand through his slicked back hair. Farry’s a handsome guy, Pretty reckons, resuming his patrol of the bank. He knows all the right moves and says all the right things. Whenever Pretty tries to emulate his boss, he just makes everyone baulk and scatter, like he’d just pulled a gun on them. 

That’s his role in this three-piece outfit. Farry’s the leader ‘cus he’s got brains and face. Hyena’s the guy who knows everything there is about stealing shit, and he’s just crazy enough to garner them a bloody reputation. And Pretty…Pretty isn’t any of those things. But he’s damn well good at looking scary. He’s not particularly large or muscular or strong (in fact, he’s the opposite), but he’s got a real ugly mug that makes people turn away in horror. 

Of course, he’s got his mother to thank for that. She liked to do all kinda things to him when he was a child, leaving behind marks that he can never be rid of. From his childhood photos, he thinks he could have become a handsome guy like Farry if his mother just left him be. But that’s not how things went down. So he makes do with what he’s got, and in the end he got two brothers out of it. 

Things aren’t too bad, he thinks as he glances out the west-side windows. More pigs here. Just like Farry says. They’re trapped tighter than canned sardines. As long as I have Farry and Hyena, things won’t ever be bad. 

“Alright, I’m going to need some time to think,” Farry mutters, pacing restlessly across the linoleum floor. His shoes squeak on every turn. “I need to think. They’re going to expect demands from us. We’ve already killed the guard, so they know we’re serious. They know we ain’t playin’ around. Hyena, come out here and help me, damnit. Let Pretty babysit the hostages.”

“Gotchya, boss!” Hyena smacks Pretty in the arm as he skitters past, laughing in that mocking tone of his. “They’re all yours, Pretty! Don’t let ‘em outta your sight.”

Pretty nods in assent and rubs his aching arm. He steps into the giant vault and glances around. There’s about eleven hostages in total, most of them just people he’d see out and about in town on a Monday morning. 

The only one that doesn’t seem remotely afraid, is a man with cropped hair who’s done nothing but scowl at him from the moment he drew his gun. The guy is interesting to look at. He’s tough and beefy and seems to have some kind of military background. Pretty feels a tad nervous when their gaze meets. The guy has pale green eyes, washed out under the fluorescent lights. His mother had pale green eyes too.

“Pretty, is it?” the military guy sneers. “Not exactly what I’d call you, but I suppose that’s the point.”

Pretty sits in a chair they’d taken from the waiting area. It’s wooden and uncomfortable. He rests his revolver on his knee, keeping the barrel pointed at a wall. 

“Not much of a talker are you?” Military guy continues, wriggling slightly within his bonds. He’s wriggling a lot, actually, but Pretty doesn’t quite know if that’s something he shouldn’t allow. “What do you think’s going to happen to you, Pretty? You think they’re just going to let you walk out of here unharmed?” He scoffs and shakes his head. “They’re going to kill you and your friends over there. Shoot you down in a hail of bullets like they did the Barrow Gang. Only difference is that no-one’s ever gonna remember you.”

Pretty wipes his hand against his pants. His palms are starting to get sweaty. “No,” he says quietly, voice cracking from disuse. Military guy seems surprised that he can actually talk. “Won’t let anything happen to them.” He glances at Farry and Hyena out in the foyer, arguing with each other in hushed voices. 

“Well, you better prepare to say your farewells, Pretty, because they're dead as you are.” Military guy wriggles and jitters with increasing fervour. “Not unless you put a stop to this yourself.” 

“Not putting a stop to anything,” Pretty frowns, tightening his hold on his gun. “Farry’s smart. So is Hyena. They’ll both get us out of this like they always do.”

“Not this time,” Military guy says, suddenly becoming motionless. There’s a sense of unease growing in the gangster that he’s unable to comprehend. “Last chance, Pretty. Put a stop to this before anyone else gets hurt.”

Pretty pulses his jaw. He narrows his eyes and bares a glint of teeth. That always does well to scare people – but Military guy hardly flinches. “I said, I’m not putting a stop to anything–”

Military guy bursts from his bonds and leaps at Pretty, a pocket knife flashing through the air. The gangster hardly has time to react before he feels the blade plunging into the centre of his chest. He numbly drops the gun, grabs the guy on top of him (when did he fall onto his back?), tries to push him off. But the blade is yanked out of him, blood and viscera spraying in an arc, and plunging back down–

CRACK!

Military guy’s head snaps back. A small red hole between his eyes. Blood trickles down his face as he stares at Pretty, blankly, in shock. The light dims in his pale green eyes. 

There’s a silence that extends an aeon. 

And then he keels over. Pretty fuckin’ dead.

“Sorry,” Pretty whispers, staring wide-eyed at the ceiling. 

Screams and sobs erupt, voices climbing within the echo chamber of the vault. Pretty winces at the head-splitting volume. Pain bores deep into his wounded chest, making it ache something fierce.

“You moron! What the fuck are you doing?” Farry clips into the vault and hauls the dead body off his downed grunt. His handsome face swims into view, full of irritated lines. “I told you to watch the hostages, not let them go on a fuckin’ rampage! Get up and do your fuckin’ job!”

Pretty nods and drags himself into the chair, one hand pressed tight over his bleeding chest. 

“And if you don’t stop screaming, I’ll do the same to you as I did him,” Farry snarls at the hostages, jabbing his gun at the cooling corpse. 

Almost instantly, the hostages clamp their mouths shut. Only quiet sobs and wet sniffs serve as the morbid ambience. 

Farry sighs and grabs a first aid box from behind one of the tills. He tosses it at Pretty, who fumbles when he tries to catch it. “One more fuck up and you’re out. I have no patience for useless bastards like you. So don’t test me.” He gives the disfigured man a look of pure derision, before stalking back into the foyer. 

Pretty swallows and glances down at the white box, allowing his wound to bleed freely and drench his dress shirt red. He stoops down, stifling a groan as he stretches his wound, and grabs his gun off the floor to holster. He tries not to look at the body (pale green eyes, like ma’s). 

“That isn’t–” A soft voice starts, before cutting itself off. It’s the young woman from before, who Hyena wanted to ‘nibble on’. She’s watching the wounded man rummage through the white box with round eyes. 

Pretty unbuttons his bloodied dress shirt and gingerly presses a wad of cloth to the leaking hole. Harsh pants edge through his clenched teeth in growls and groans. The pain is crushing. A pair of giant hands are squeezing his chest like it’s nothing more than a flimsy aluminium can. 

When he presses against the wound to stem the blood, the pain turns rabid. It snarls and froths and bites into his flesh, gnaws at his very bones. His vision fills with static. His hands are starting to shake. He’s losing grip of his cognition. It hurts real bad. It hurts so bad I wanna cry. 

“Bandages,” the young woman says, sharply. “Use that roll of bandages there. Wrap it around your chest – wrap it tight. Tight enough to hurt. Otherwise you’ll keep bleeding out.”

Pretty blinks at the woman, swaying as he tries to catch his breath. He sees the stern look on her pale face. Her tone is crisply authoritative. It makes him want to listen to her words. 

He grabs the roll, clumsily winding the bandage around his chest. He yanks hard on the roll with every turn (tight enough to hurt) and he heaves as the crushing pain threatens to engulf him. He’s shaking too hard to do a proper knot, so he just tucks in the loose end. At the end of it, he slumps in the chair, resting for a moment, before trying to button up his shirt. 

It’s like he’s fifteen years old again with his damned butterfingers (“You couldn’t use a button until you were in high school?!”).

“Mister…Robber, sir.” The woman’s voice probes his waning consciousness. “Sir, you have to stay awake. You have lost a lot of blood.”

Pretty huffs like he’s run a mile in ten seconds. He wipes the sweat from his eyes and tries to take stock of the hostages. Most are keeping to themselves, trying to keep their heads down. Some are warily watching him and the other two outside. The young woman is the only one who meets his eyes. 

“Pretty,” he grunts, tugging the wings of his shirt together. He drops the white box at his feet and pulls his gun from the holster. He rests it upon his knee, barrel pointed to the wall. “My name’s Pretty.”

The young woman gives a nervous smile. She’s quite fair and homely, though her features are puffy from crying so much. Pretty reckons she shines, more than Farry or Hyena ever could. “Pretty. My name is Bethan. Or Beth as my friends like to call me.”

“Beth,” Pretty repeats, dumbly. He presses the palm of his free hand to his chest, closing his eyes briefly as the crushing pain flares. He releases a tremulous breath and opens his eyes. “How did you know about all that stuff?”

“I’m a doctor,” Beth smiles. “At least I’m studying to become one.”

“A woman doctor?” Pretty raises his brows. 

“We do exist, you know.”

The gangster grunts in surprise. 

Beth’s smile fades. Turns trepidatious. “Pretty, you need a hospital,” she says, her voice low and urgent. “You need stitches. Maybe even surgery if there’s extensive internal damage. If that wound gets infected, you could die. Do you understand me?”

Pretty shrugs. “Can’t do nothing right now about it.”

“Well…” Beth pauses, drawing in a shaky breath. She raises her chin and gives the gangster a wide smile. “You have me, don’t you? If you let me out of these ropes, I can treat you.”

“What are you doing?” A bespectacled man, who is dressed in tweed suit, hisses at Bethan. “Are you trying to get us all killed? Did you not see how they shot a man in front of us?!”

“I did,” Beth snaps back, “But a patient is a patient, and I am beholden to my oath.”

“The man’s an idiot,” another hostage snorts. This time it’s an old woman, heavily made up and soaked in perfume. She looks like she’s about to go to a gala. “If we get him involved, he’s sure to get us all killed.”

“I’m not so much of an idiot,” Pretty growls, turning the barrel of his gun to the hostages, “that I don’t understand english. No-one’s going anywhere. No-one’s doing anything. And I’m not untying you. So you keep quiet as Farry says, or I’ll blow a hole in your heads. Got it?”

Silence falls once more. Even Bethan seems to have been affected by his threat, for she lowers her head and says not another word. 

There’s a flicker of regret. Pretty knows he’s gotta stand by what he says. People can see through empty threats, Farry once told him. If your threats aren’t empty, then no-one will ever doubt you. They won’t ever look you in the eye ever again.

What if I do want them to look me in the eye? Pretty’s spent his entire life being looked at, but never seen. It’s always his scars that they see. It’s either that or they avoid looking at him altogether. 

Pretty can count four people who have ever looked him in the eye. His older sister, Giana. Farry. Hyena. And now Beth. 

Pretty thinks about Gigi. He wonders if she’ll see him on the news today. He wonders if her husband, Michael, is treating her alright. 

He drowses for the next several minutes. The air conditioning in the vault sends a chill over his sweat soaked skin. He can’t stop trembling, like he’s been caught in the middle of a blizzard. 

“Pretty!” Farry rouses him with a smack upside the head. “Wake up, you fuckin’ lug. They got the news stations out there and they’ve been calling the bank non-stop.” He seems almost excited, like this is exactly what he’d been after. 

Pretty clutches his burning chest and straightens up as best he can. Unbearable branches of pain shoot out from the centre of his chest, like lightning bolts carving through his flesh. He grits his teeth, trying to keep his voice in. 

Farry continues blathering on, paying no mind to his brethren’s suffering. “I’m about to make some demands so we’re going to have to free someone. Pick whoever and bring them into the foyer. Hurry your ass up about it, alright?” He slaps a hand against Pretty's wounded chest and chuckles loudly when strangled cries follow him out of the vault.

Pretty rocks back and forth breathlessly, hands pressed protectively over his agitated wound. He feels blood seep through the bandages and stain his fingers.

There’s a terrible moment when he wonders if he could actually die from this.

.

[watchmegetobsessed]

Prisoner - Bucky Barnes

a/n: hi everyone! i am really excited to share this with you, because this one was written for a writing challenge! it is part of @wkemeup​ ‘s 9k writing challenge and it’s the first time i take part in anything like this with a Bucky fic! not that i have many but im sure more is about to come lol! let me know what you thought after reading!

prompt: Character A is possessed/controlled and attempts to harm Character B. [B] refuses to fight back in fear of hurting [A].  

pairing: Bucky X Reader

warnings: blood, violence, mind controlling, just the usual jazz lol

word count: 7.8k

masterlist

Bucky and you were a pair made in hell. Only that he is the only one out of the two of you who really went through the deepest and darkest corners of it while you were basically just waiting in the lobby, as you like to say it.

He wasn’t the only person HYDRA had plans with. Being an orphan from the age of four, you didn’t have the life you probably deserved. Abducted at the age of twenty, you lived in cells and labs for years before they gave you the serum, turning you into a super solider, with determined plans to turn you into a kind of winter soldier 2.0, eventually wiping your head like his and turning you into the perfect assassin. Only that before they could start with the torture, you were rescued by none other than Captain America during a raid on one of HYDRA’s secret bases.

The Avengers gave you shelter when you had absolutely nothing left in life. Your previous life was long forgotten, almost entirely non-existent, all you had is the safety these extraordinary people were offering you, that you took more than willingly.

You were there when Bucky was captured, still very much fighting with his own conscious. You were in the building when Zemo triggered him into being a murderer again and he broke free, fought his ex best friend, saved his life and then disappeared again. You often found yourself thinking about how you’d be just the same if you weren’t saved. How you’d be out there, used as just a toy to end lives.

You never had to go through the process of ripping this side of yourself out of your head, because they never succeeded with you. But Bucky didn’t have it as lucky as you did. When Shuri contacted you that he was awake from his hibernation and they were working on wiping the winter soldier out of him, you didn’t hesitate to drop everything and be there for him. You didn’t know him that well back then, but you felt like you shared a deep connection through the torturous things you had to go through. You were there for him until he finally became entirely himself. No more winter soldier, just Bucky.

The two of you have tens of missions together behind your back at this point. Partners in work, friends in life, that’s what you are. And in your dreams?

Definitely lovers.

Now as you are rotting in a dark and musty cell somewhere in the middle of Poland, you are starting to regret you never really told him how you feel. You had so many chances to come clear but you were too afraid of rejection and the possibility of ruining your strong friendship and most importantly partnership that you chose to keep it all bottled up inside you.

It might have been days or hours since they locked you in your cell, you wouldn’t know. You lost track of time and you’re not expecting to see the daylight anytime soon either. Are they looking for you? Or do they think you died? No one was around you when you were abducted and there were no signs left behind that would have let your team know you survived. There was a massive explosion near your location in the raid, anyone would easily think that you were caught in the middle of that.

Does Bucky think I’m dead too? Has he given up on me?

You’re starting to think you’ll never find that out. Just like how you’ll never find out what it’s like to grow old, have a home that’s not just a room in a facility, spend your days with your hobbies rather than trainings and missions.

As the thick metal door opens and a creak of light breaks the heavy darkness in your cell, you look up at the man who walks in. If your hands weren’t cuffed with fucking vibranium cuffs, you would easily kill him in a heartbeat along with the three bulky guards he brought with himself.

“It’s time to make a use out of you,” the man grinned before two guards grabbed you by your arms, dragging you out of the cell, taking you God knows here. Probably to your death.

“You have to check twice,” Buckly growled upon hearing Agent Hill’s report from what was found at the scene. Or what was not found.

“No signs of Y/N were found, Bucky. But that explosion was so massive, it wiped out everything in it’s close radius. If she stood close to that…” “But what if she didn’t?!” he snaps, barking at the innocent agent. The room falls silent, no one dares to speak up against Bucky’s raging anger. Fury steps forward and places a hand to the upset soldier’s shoulder as a soft warning to control himself. Bucky takes a deep breath before looking over at Fury, no longer determined to rip anyone apart who wants to argue with him.

“Let’s all calm down and see what we can do. Do you think she survived?” Fury simply questions him. Bucky taps on the panel and a map of the location pulls up on the big screen, showing a little red dot at the places where the team members were located last before the explosion.

“Her last location was far enough of it for her to survive,” he explains pointing at your dot.

“But if she moved just a little closer—“ Hill starts again, but she quickly silences herself when Bucky shoots her another warning look.

“I think she was captured. We can’t just assume that she is gone that easily,” he insists, refusing to even think about the possibility of you dying in that explosion. That’s just simply not an option for him.

Fury stares back at him hard, searching for something in his eyes before he finally nods.

“Alright, let’s get on the case. We need to find out where they could be possibly hiding her.”

Bucky breathes out in relief as the team gets down to work immediately. This is not the part he can help with, he sucks at technical things, so now he is left with just the painful wait until a lead pops up and he can come to your rescue.

 The gym is eerily quiet without your bickering. He always trains with you and it’s been one of his favorite things to do. The two of you liked to race in everything and thought you both knew he was faster and stronger, he always let you win a few times, giving you the chance to tease him about being second after you.

But now as he is punching the heavy bag on his own, he wishes he could hear one of your snarky comments about his lopsided moves, because he still hasn’t entirely gotten used to the uneven strength in his hands.

“If she is really out there, I’m sure she is doing fine.”

Sam walks in, his steps echo in the empty room and though Bucky stops for a moment, he doesn’t look at him, just keeps punching the bag.

“She is tough, Bucky. She can take care of herself.”

“Not when she is outnumbered by a dozen,” he growls back. “I know she is tough, but sometimes that’s just not enough.”

For a long time Bucky thought Steve is the only person he can work with as partners, but he had to realize that he had a special bond with you through the tortures you both had to go through and sometimes he felt like you were the only one who understood him truly. Even though your brain wasn’t washed like his, you were close to it and it gave you a great understanding of what he had to go through.

But it wasn’t just about the trauma. As you grew closer to each other you easily became friends, really good ones for all that matters. Bucky loved spending time with you on and out of missions as well. He finds your humor a little dark but quite entertaining, he likes how you are more social than he is so whenever you need to work with someone else you always take the role of the communicator, building a bridge between him and others easily. He loves how much you care about others, how you show your appreciation for your loved ones in the tiny details as making breakfast or baking their favorite cookies. He loves the way you smile whenever he messes up something and you have to take care of it eventually, he loves the way you laugh at his lame, old jokes, he loves how you always fall asleep on horror movies and he loves…

He loves you.

For years he thought he would never feel this way again for anyone, because it’s so raw and human, he thought it was wiped out of him when he became the winter soldier, but you proved him wrong. And now he wishes he told you how he felt, because if you won’t return, he has to live his life knowing you never knew how much you meant to him.

Tossing and turning in his bed, he stays wide awake, not able to even close his eyes when he knows you are out there somewhere, because you have to be. He refuses to nurse the thought of you gone for even a second. You’re qualified, the best fighter he has ever met and he has this feeling in his gut that you made it out of there alive. Maybe you knew the explosion was about to happen. Maybe you ran the opposite way before it was too late. Or maybe you found shelter, or simply was just knocked out of the impact of it and they captured you.

So many possibilities that are way more better than the fatality of your death.

Kicking the silky sheets off his body, the ones he deep down hates because it’s way too smooth against his skin, something he still has a hard time to grow accustomed to, he pulls a hoodie over his head before creeping his way out of his bedroom, down the hallway until he reaches yours. He stands still at the door, a sense of anxiety washing over him as he thinks about what’s inside. Not that it’s the first time he is here, he has spent endless nights in your room, the two of you talking and laughing as you showed him your favorite movies he hasn’t seen. You often bought a big bag of snacks for your movie nights and the two of you sprawled across your comforter, your legs sometimes touching, or there was this one time when he let you braid his hair.

“You should come to missions like this,” he remembers your teasing as you ran your fingers through the neat braids running along his head.

“And give the boys another reason to tease me? No thank you,” he chuckled.

“Another? What do they tease you about?” you asked furrowing your eyebrows as you popped a gummybear into your mouth.

You. It was you they teased him about and how obvious his feelings for you are. Seemingly everyone saw how you looked at each other but you and him.

He twists the silver doorknob before pushing the door open, part of him hoping to see you curled up under the sheets, snoring lightly and peacefully, but the room is terribly empty without your presence.

Everything is just the way you left them. The abandoned workout clothes hanging from the edge of the hamper, your running shoes under the window, your journal lying on your nightstand with a pen on top and his favorite… a framed picture of you and him on your bookshelf with all your favorite romantic novels stacked neatly on the shelves.

Bucky steps closer, his hands hidden in the pooch of his hoodie as he stares at the photo. It was taken a few days after the two of you returned from Wakanda, Bucky was finally free from the winter soldier and it was probably the best few days of his life. The two of you decided to take a trip to London before returning to your duty, a place you always wanted to see, but never really got the chance. It was just the two of you, taking some time away from the avengers, SHIELD, all the bad in the world, pretending like you’re two normal people for just a weekend before returning to your duties in New York. The photo was taken when you returned from the getaway, Steve took it in the gym, the two of you sat at the edge of the boxing ring after a killer fight. It was a simple moment, his arm stretched behind you as you leant against his side. The glow from your alone time was still apparent on your faces, neither of you felt happier in life before, or not at least in the last decade.

His vision blurs as he runs a finger through the frame, a sharp pain stabbing in his chest as he watches your bright smile and rosy cheeks. He never thought he would feel this way about anyone, not after everything he went through, but you proved him wrong. You showed him how much more human he still is that what he thinks of himself and you might not even have realized it.

Too restless to go back to sleep, Bucky storms out of your room, carefully closing the door behind him before going down to Tony’s office, determined to make himself useful. He can’t just sit around and wait, he needs to feel like he is doing everything he can.

When the first rays of the sun shine above the horizon and the first agents arrive for their shifts, He has already gone through an immense amount of security tapes from all around the world that had even the slightest match through the face recognition system with yours. None of them turned out to be real, but he never gave up.

“Barnes, were you here all night?” Tony asks in awe when he finds the long-haired avenger with his eyes glued to one of the screens, watching yet another tape.

“Not all night, but… for the majority, yes,” he nods without even sparing Tony a look.

Any other day Tony would tease him for maybe finally doing something useful, or not only using his fist in a case, but not today. Everyone on the team knows how much you mean to him and how hard it is to not know where you are. So he just nods, places his coffee down to the desk and gets down to work without a word.

Soon enough the rest of the team joins them and everyone is working together to find even the slightest lead. Every other minor case is put aside, you are their priority.

The more time passes by without anything found, Bucky feels like a part of him is dying more and more. Hopelessness and fear is taking over his already messed up mine, but he is still holding onto the light and that small little feeling in his gut that you are still out there somewhere. And then they find a lead.

“We’ve got a match!” Nat beams from behind her screen and everyone gathers around her as a series of blurry photos play in front of them, showing a group of men carrying a clearly unconscious person to a minivan before driving away. The quality is definitely not the best, your face is also half covered by your hair, but your uniform gives you away. It really is you.

“Where and when was this taken?” Bucky asks in a hurry.

“Last night, outside of Krakow. We have one last coordinate for the van,” Nat informs the group as she brings up a map, a red dot signaling the last spotting of the same van.

“There’s a closed off military based near,” Steve chimes in, pointing at the map a few miles away from where the pictures were taken.

“Alright, suit up everyone. Guess we are going to Poland,” Tony announces and a moment later everyone is running off to get ready for takeoff.

The ground doesn’t feel that bad anymore. It’s wet and there’s gravel here and there, the coldness is not too comfortable either, but you are getting used to it. Probably because it makes you feel things and that’s important to you now. In times when you often lose contact with your own body and mind, feelings keep you grounded and they remind you of who you are.

Last night you finally found out who caught you and it wasn’t a pleasant surprise. Aziel Nowak is a name you’ve already heard before, but not in the best way. The guy is totally crazy and if that’s not enough, he is kind of a genius as well. These two never sit well with each other and you knew it was just a matter of time before you had to face him, but you didn’t think these would be the circumstances.

Nowak’s father, Aleksander was a well-known scientist in the circles of HYDRA, he was one of the assholes responsible for wiping Bucky’s head, unfortunately, his own creation brought his death upon him. Bucky killed him during a raid, all while Aleksander was trying to trigger him, but Bucky was faster than him and shoot him in the head before he could get the second trigger word out. Aziel swore to seek revenge for his father’s death and made it clear that his big plan is to take out every avenger one by one, but all during completely destroying Bucky in every possible way.

Stuck in a clear tube, one that was built specially for super soldiers, you stood in his lab as he got everything ready for his master plan with you.

“The winter soldier was full of flaws,” he started to explain to you, working behind his computer while you couldn’t do anything to stop the madness. Even if you could break out of the tube, you were terribly outnumbered with the hoard of guards in the room, all of them armed and ready to rip you apart. It would have been a suicidal mission.

“The trigger words take a lot of time to enlist and sometimes, we just don’t have time for that. We need our soldier instantly, in a push of a button, if I might add,” he smirked and you almost gagged. He was a lowlife, disgusting middle-aged man, completely out of touch of reality, wrapped up in his own head with his ridiculous misconceptions and twisted view of the world.

“But fear no more, I have a better solution,” he grinned at you, holding up a tiny chip between his fingers and your jaw flexed. You didn’t know what it was, but you had guesses. “Spent years working on this little thing and now I can finally test it out and you get to be the lucky one to do it. Start the gas,” he ordered and a moment later some kind of gas started to fill the tube up. Your pathetic attempt to escape was cut off shortly when you felt your whole body freeze as you inhaled the gas. You just stood there, completely no control over your own body. The back of the tube opened with a hiss once the gas cleared out from around you and you felt a sharp stabbing at the back of your neck. You couldn’t even gasp, you were as frozen as a statue, unable to defend yourself and you truly felt like it’s the end. You wish it was though.

Nowak implanted the chip into your spine and you could feel the wires cling into your nerves, melting into your body like a parasite. A single tear rolled down your cheek as your wound was closed off.

“This is going to be so much fun,” Nowak smirked when he walked into your sight again. He had a control panel in his hands and as he pushed some buttons electricity bolted through your whole body and you completely lost control over your actions. Your body moved without your consent, arms and legs acting without your brain actually telling them.

You became a prisoner in your own body.

The night was spent fighting with Nowak’s best guards as he tested out his new toy: you. He could control your whole body thanks to the chip and while you were screaming and shouting in your head, there was no escape. He made you into his ragdoll and there was nothing you could do against it.

He switched the chip off when you were thrown back into the cell. You sobbed for hours probably as you tried to get the thing out of yourself, blood was dripping down your back, but you had to accept that it was too deep, clinging onto your spine, you couldn’t get it out with your bare hands.

Now you are lying on the floor and try to remember who you are, because you’ve been feeling like you lost touch with your true self. The only thing that has been helping is remembering your favorite memories.

It makes your heart flutter when you realize that most of them have Bucky in them. Your most favorite? The time you spent in London. Those days are the closest and dearest to your heart and now you just wish you could go back in time for even just an hour. Strolling down the streets like any other tourists without a worry in the world, watching the city lay in front of you as you ride the London Eye or walking along the River Thames. You felt so normal, so happy, sharing your time with the man you probably love the most in the whole wide world.

“I could live here,” you sighed when the Big Ben came into view above the brick buildings.

“It rains too much here,” Bucky furrowed his eyebrows at you, his arm brushing against yours.

“I like the rain. Love the smell of it, love how refreshing it feels after it,” you chuckled.

“And what would you want to do here?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “Maybe I would work at a library. Or a café!”

“You want to be a barista!” He chuckled, smirking down on you. “Is this why you wanted Tony to get a fancy espresso machine?”

“Well, not just because of this, I just really like good coffee,” you smiled up at him. “What, do you not like my coffee?”

“Oh, I do. You make the best in the tower,” he nodded.

You could always talk about anything and everything with him. He understood you so well and you liked to think it worked the other way as well. That you were just as important to him as he was to you.

“Bucky.” His name falls from your lips like a desperate plea, as if you could summon him and he’d be here any moment to rescue you. But nothing changes and you are still on your own.

You’ve been wondering if this is how he felt when they made him to be the winter soldier. If he went through the same struggle or if it was worse. He said he doesn’t remember everything he did, as if sometimes he just completely disappeared in his own head, but other times live vividly in his memories.

You remember everything too. The chip has no control over your mind and thoughts, it works as another brain that takes over control in your body, caging your mind in your own head while it works your body.

A siren rings through the building and you gasp, your head snapping in the direction of the metal door. You hear orders in a foreign language and running footsteps somewhere down the hallway. Pushing yourself up you move to the far end of the room as you hear someone approaching your cell. Before the lock clicks on the door, you feel the familiar electricity run through your body and you breathe out before you lose control over your body again. You stand up, not because you want to, but because this is what they ordered. The door swings open and Nowak walks in.

“Guess your little friends figured out where you are. It’s time to show them my masterpiece.”

The military base is pretty lively for a closed off one. As the team is approaching the complex they inspect the possibilities they have to get inside.

“Alright, we have to be smart about this. Nowak is a psychopath,” Tony announces when the quinjet is nearing the base. “Barron and Natasha, we need a diversion. Banner, you stay here and only come in if it’s needed,” he starts and everyone nods along. “Wanda, the same goes for you as well. Listen to the call word and be ready to interfere. Sam and I are going to clear the main building, try to find Nowak. Barnes, Cap, you are tracking Y/N down. Everything clear?”

“As daylight,” Steve nods as he grabs his shield from the side.

Once the quinjet touches down, everyone goes their own way, going along the plan they discussed. Nat and Clint do well with the diversion, a great amount of guards and soldiers are drawn in their way as Tony and Sam make their way into the main building of the base.

“Where should we look, Buck?” Steve asks his friend as they hide behind one of the quarters. Bucky looks around, inspects the place and nods towards a building that’s clearly powered with a lot more electricity for whatever reason, Thick cables running inside, snaking under the doors, pouring extra power inside. Steve nods and once the way is somewhat cleared out, they head inside.

They take down the few HYDRA agents that try to get in their way as they run further into the building without even breaking a sweat. They easily reach the lab and it almost feels way too easy.

“Something is not right,” Steve says as the two of them walk into the empty lab, curious inspecting all the machines and equipment they have absolutely no idea how to work.

Bucky’s eyes fall on the tube in the far corner of the room and walking closer he gets an eerie feeling and he can already picture you trapped inside, the thought making his stomach churn.

“Anyone found Nowak yet?” Steve asks through the com.

“Negative,” Nat grunts back in the middle of her own fight.

“Haven’t seen the fucker either,” Tony answers and Steve sighs.

Just as Bucky is about to head to the door that leads out of the lab at the other end from where they entered, the sliding door opens and they both get ready to fight whatever is about to come into sight. But neither of them were expecting you to walk out.

“Y/N?!” your name falls from Steve’s lips as he lets his shield down, staring back at you confused. But you don’t answer, just stop a few feet away from them, staring blankly ahead of you and Bucky swears he was on the verge of fainting from his anger, because he knew those eyes all too well, because he used to see them in the mirror.

“Y/N, what did they do?” he whispers desperately, a hand reaching out to you, but it’s quickly cut off when you grab his hand and easily throw him over, his back contacting the floor with a painful thump.

Hell breaks loose fast as you start fighting them off, using the advantage of their shock upon seeing you, working against them while they try to make you remember them.

“Y/N, it’s us! We don’t want to hurt you!” Steve growls when he saves himself from one of your hits, his shield coming between the two of you.

I know! I know it’s you, but I can’t do anything! You scream in your own head, unable to even form the words. You’re a prisoner in this body you thought to be yours, but it betrayed you.

You never fought both of them before at the same time, but now that it’s happening, you’re surprisingly good at it, handling two super soldiers at the same time when one of them has a vibranium arm while the other one keeps throwing a vibranium shield at you, though it’s clear they aren’t giving their best, afraid of hurting you even though you’re in killer mode right now and determined to rip them apart.

“Do you think they did the same to her as they did to you?” Steve asks out of breath when you throw them against a wall and return to fight Bucky.

“It’s something else. Look at the back of her neck!” he growls when you throw a punch in his way that he catches with his metal arm, holding your fist tight as you keep pushing it and this moment of pause allows Steve to take a look at you from the back.

“Oh shit,” he breathes out.

Yes! Take this shit out and I’m free! You scream, but no one hears. Your fist frees from Bucky’s grip and you kick him in the stomach so hard he snaps against the desk behind him and wasting no time you jump right at him, the fight continues.

“If anyone finds Nowak, don’t kill him. We’ve got Y/N and she is being controlled by something,” Steve explains through his earpiece before throwing his shield in your direction right when you’re about to attach your hands to Bucky’s neck. It hits you in the side and you fall to the ground grunting.

“Don’t fucking hurt her!” Bucky growls at him, but Steve gives him a look.

“She is trying to kill us, we have to do something!”

You’re on your feet fast, already charging at Steve and it catches him by surprise, he stumbles back as your knee collides with his stomach, a punch thrown at his pretty face.

“I see Nowak!” Tony’s voice comes through the earpieces, but they don’t have the chance to celebrate, because you’re kicking their ass big time.

When you want to launch yourself at Steve again, Bucky’s arms wrap around your waist from behind and he pulls back, pushing you away, making you stumble, but you’re back on your feet quickly. Your eyes meet and you want to touch him so badly, run into his arms, tell him how happy you are to see him and that he was the only thing that kept you sane, but instead, you throw yourself at him, fist colliding with the side of his head.

I’m so sorry, Buck!

“We’ve got Nowak!” Tony announces and Steve sighs in relief.

“Does he have something like a remote or controller?” he asks while you and Bucky are at each other’s throat. You throw him to a desk and drag him across it, papers and equipment flying everywhere before he ends up on the floor groaning. You have the perfect chance to throw a punch in again, but you turn around and run back towards the door you came through.

“He has a controlling panel, do you think it’s connected to Y/N?” Tony asks.

“Very much likely, but please hurry up, she is trying to run away!” Steve begs as they both start to chase after you in the labyrinth of hallways. You’re footsteps are echoing on the checkered floors as they are trying to catch up with you. You take a left turn and get out of their vision just for a split second. As they get around the corner they immediately freeze when they find you standing there, a gun pointing right at Bucky’s head, a deadly, but still rather blank expression in your eyes.

“Shit,” Steve breathes out.

“Y/N, I know you are in there,” Bucky speaks up.

Yes! I’m here! I’m here Bucky!

“The controller is locked, but we are working on it,” Tony announces through the com, but it doesn’t help their situation right now. If he can’t unlock the controller, you are likely to shoot them both if they don’t do something. As you stare back at your two friends, you are using everything in you to try to get back the control over your own body, but it’s like you’re just silently screaming in an empty, locked room.

“I know you hear me. Please, try to fight it off. I know how hard it is, but if anyone can do it, it’s you,” Bucky continues and if only you were in charge of yourself, you’d already be sobbing at the broken expression he is staring back at you with. Your finger is on the trigger and you can feel your muscles trembling.

“Buck, we need to disarm her,” Steve tells him, but he shakes his head.

“No. We can’t do that without hurting her and I’m not doing that.”

Oh Bucky! That’s the only way now!

“She is gonna shoot, Bucky. We have to do something!”

“She could have already fired. She is fighting it off, I know it.”

“Or maybe it’s just whatever it is inside her messing with her head as Tony is trying to break the controller.”

“Y/N, sweetheart, I know you can do this. I’m not gonna hurt you, you can fight it!” Bucky continues, ignoring Steve’s words, who stands behind him with his jaw flexed.

I can’t do it, you need to knock me out! I’m not strong enough to do it!

You are trying everything you can and you are already holding your finger back, you would have already pulled the trigger if it wasn’t for your resistance somewhere in this cage. But you just know you’re not strong enough to stop yourself forever, they will need to disarm you, there’s no choice.

You stare back at Bucky, his forehead and left cheek bloody from wounds you gave him and he probably has a few bruises under his leather jacket as well, all because of you. Nowak made you hurt the person you love the most and now his life is being threatened. You know he won’t fight you, he will not try to disarm you, he would rather take the bullet than cause pain to you, more than what he already did during your fight.

The gun trembles in your hand as you’re desperately trying to gain your control back, sweat beading on your forehead, your chest heaving.

“Stark, we are running out of time!” Steve warns him through the com.

“Just one more second!” he answers, but you’re afraid you don’t have that much time.

“Y/N, please!” Bucky begs, a single tear rolling down his cheek and you can feel your own heart breaking at the sight of him. You can’t believe it’s because of you, you are causing him pain when you swore to work to see him his happiest in his life.

Your jaw flexes and you are on the verge of breaking, the tiniest light flashing in front of you as you keep pushing, trying to take back control, but then you feel like losing again. It all happens so fast, you can barely process.

You know you’re about to pull the trigger, you can’t stop yourself, but just as you are about to do it, Tony’s voice rings through the com.

“We got it!”

In a blink of the eye, the invisible grip that’s been keeping you tight vanishes, the cage opens up and suddenly you feel yourself come alive again as the most painful, deafening and desperate scream rips from your throat, the gun falling from your grip before you collapse on the ground in complete shock of everything that went down.

“Get it out! Get it out! I can’t do this!” you scream, your nails scratching the back of your neck once again, trying to reach the chip, but you’re just breaking your own skin once again, blood dripping down your back.

“Hey, it’s alright, sweetheart. We got you. You’re gonna be fine!” Bucky falls to his knees, cradling you into his arms as you sob into his hard chest, hands gripping the fabric of his jacket tight as your salty tears soak your cheeks, your whole body shaking.

“I’m so sorry! I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” you repeat, shaking your head as if you were trying to get rid of the memories, but they are still there, you still know what it’s like to be a prisoner in your own head but at least now you are with Bucky and that brings you the peace of mind you’ve been seeking all along.

“You don’t have to be sorry, it’s alright. You’ll be alright, sweetheart, you’re safe with me now,” he murmurs into your hair, his arms holding you so tight it’s starting to get hard to even breathe, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

You cling onto him as if your life depends on it and in a way, it really does. Bucky gathers you into his arms as you keep mumbling your apologies and begs to make it stop even though you are not being controlled any longer. He carries you to the quinjet as he keeps murmuring reassuring words into your ear, telling you that everything is going to be alright now. You are in good hands.

You don’t let go of him on the way back and he doesn’t seem to want to do it either. Curled up on his lap, you let yourself fall into a shallow slumber as his fingers are dancing up and down your back, keeping you close to his chest, the feeling of finally being home taking over your senses.

Arriving back to New York you are helped off the jet by Bucky or course as he walks you to the med bay where Dr. Cho is already waiting for your arrival.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. We’ll fix you up,” she smiles at you as you are expected to let go of Bucky, but your head snaps back in his direction in panic, hands grabbing onto his anxiously.

“It’s alright, I’ll be here waiting for you. My stupid face will be the first thing you see when you wake up,” he jokes, his tired eyes fixated on you as you hesitate to let go of him, but eventually do it.

Keeping his promise Bucky stay outside as long as you are under Helen’s hands, not able to even drag him away to change clothes. The only thing he can make himself is dragging his ass to the nearest restroom to at least wash the dried blood off his face, but he quickly returns to his previous spot.

It turns out removing the chip is a bit more complicated than anyone thought. The micro wires are so deep in your nerves, Dr. Cho has to be careful if he doesn’t want to paralyze you with just one wrong move. Five entire hours pass by before the chip is finally out of you, before they place you in one of the rooms until you wake up from the anesthesia. Bucky is right by your side, holding your hand soothingly as he waits for you to open your eyes again. When he sees your eyelashes fluttering, he holds his breath as your eyes open and you adjust to the light and the view around you.

“Hey, sweetheart. How are you feeling?” he softly asks, gently brushing a strand of hair out of your forehead.

“Like… I just fought against two super soldiers,” you breathe out in a joking manner that makes him chuckle. You’re back and he missed you more than he could ever express.

As you let out a long and heave breath, you feel everything coming back to you and you can’t stop your sobs and the tears falling from your eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Bucky,” you gasp and he is quick to leap forward, one hand holding yours while the other one cups your cheek as he makes you turn your head towards him.

“No, no, no. You have nothing to be sorry about, Y/N. You did everything you could, you fought it so well!”

“But I hurt you! I didn’t want to hurt you, I was screaming inside my head, but I just couldn’t stop!” you sob shaking your head.

“I know, it wasn’t your fault! Please don’t think for a moment anyone blames you!” he begs, his bright blue eyes glued to your pained face as you fight your tears back. A hand moves to the back of your neck, feeling the wound where the chip used to be.

“Is it gone?” you ask in a whisper.

“It is. Helen took good care of you. You’re free now,” he smiles and you feel a wave of relief washing over you right away. Your body is yours again, finally.

“I didn’t think I would be myself again,” you admit, your voice slightly shaking. Bucky’s heart breaks at your words, but remains silent as you carry on. “I kept thinking of memories that feel the closest to me and it was the only thing that kept me sane. And I realized that the dearest ones are all with you, Bucky.”

His lips part at your revelation as his heart is beating fast against his ribcage. He has been waiting for this moment to come for what feels like eternity and now it might become his reality.

“When I thought I would never be the same again, I just thought about… you. That I don’t get to see you again, when I always wanted to spend all my days with you, Buck.”

“I want to spend all my days with you too, sweetheart,” he breathes out, leaning closer until his face is only inches away from yours. “I hated the thought of you being gone without ever telling you how I feel.”

“How do you feel, Bucky?” you ask in a trembling voice.

“You are my everything, Y/N. You are my best friend and everything beyond and I was such a fool for not telling you before this, but the thought of losing you made me realize that I have to stop being a coward,” he chuckles with tears bubbling in his eyes. You reach out and cup his face in your palms, your thumb running along the dark circles under his eyes and you wonder if he even slept a moment since you’ve been gone.

“We were both idiots, don’t beat yourself,” you chuckle softly, making his mouth turns into a grin before he leans closer and his lips finally press against yours, capturing them in a sweet, so-good-to-have-you-back kiss you’ve been dreaming about for probably way too long but at least since London. It’s soft and gentle, filled with the promise of many more to come. Thought you’re trying to stretch it as long as possible, a cough is heard from the door and you both pull back, turning your attention at the rest of the team standing there, all of them happy to see you again, or maybe to see the two of you finally taking the step they’ve been waiting for to happen.

“I guess you are feeling better now, yeah?” Nat smirks as she walks further inside, giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“Much better,” you admit with a shy chuckle. “Thank you for the rescuing, guys.”

“It’s the least we could do,” Sam smirks at you.

“And Barnes would have gone nuts if we didn’t find you so that was also quite motivating,” Tony jokes nodding towards the man by your side, who is still holding your hand as if you could disappear any moment.

“Steve, I’m sorry for trying to hurt you,” you breathe out at the sight of the tall blonde man, but he just shrugs with a warm smile.

“It’s alright. At least now we know that you could easily kick our ass at the same time,” he jokes nodding towards Bucky, though you all know they were holding back, not wanting to hurt you. You still remember the look in Bucky’s eyes when you held him at gunpoint. He could have easily disarmed you but it would have cost you at least a broken arm, yet he refused to lay a hand on you and believed that you could control yourself again.

When the team is gone and it’s just the two of you again in the room, Bucky sits at the edge of your bed, his fingers playing with your hand over the white sheets as you let yourself fall into the sense of safety again.

“You should have disarmed me, Bucky,” you tell him, breaking the silence.

“I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“I could have killed you,” you retort.

“I know,” he nods, his lips pressing into a thin line. “But I just couldn’t cause you any more pain.”

“The fact that I was hurting you was already a pain, Bucky. You should have just knock me out.”

“Would you ever do the same to me?” he questions and though you open your lips to answer, you realize that he is right. You would have never hurt him on purpose, not even if he was back at being the winter soldier. You could have never hurt your sweet Bucky, the man that means more than anything ever in your torturous life.

“See? How do you expect me to do it then?” he smiles softly. “But it doesn’t matter, you are free now. It’s all in the past.”

“It still broke my heart, seeing you like that.”

“I can only say the same,” he breathes out, his eyes softening on you. “I wanted to help you so bad, but I couldn’t…”

“You helped me a lot,” you smile at him, brushing a few loose strands of hair out of his forehead. He smiles back at you and through his ocean eyes are still looking tired and a little bloodshot, but there’s a tiny little glimmer in them, something you’ve seen before, it was the most apparent when Shuri was successful at ridding him from the winter soldier and you also saw it in London. You’ve been seeking this little shine for a long time and you’re happy to have it back.

“We should go on a vacation,” he suggests, his smile growing wider with each passing second.

“Oh, I didn’t know avengers had vacation days,” you tease him.

“They do, as much as they want,” he nods grinning. “Where would you want to go? Do you want to go back to London?” he questions as he brings your hand up to his lips, kissing your bruised knuckles.

“Mm, we should go somewhere new,” you purse your lips. “I’ve always wanted to see Amsterdam.”

“Then Amsterdam it is,” he chuckles before leaning closer he kisses your lips gently with a promise of a bright future together.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[abigail-nicole]

Chainsaw Man Ep 7 - watch thread

#chainsawman Ep 7 - strong tw underage grooming, VOMIT lol if ever vomit needed a tw it's for this fucking episode, undertones pf veers into date rape territory & the usual tw for extreme violence that’s really more feature than bug for csm. is this also going to be two parts? maybe

This covers a couple of different chapters of the manga and there's a tone shift (which signifies where the manga chapter split up). I believe it's 18/19 if you're keeping up. I personally only started reading the manga after episode 6 because it got me clown face emoji!!!! Anyway I will keep these recaps SPOILER FREE from the manga perspective. I may comment on "this does relate to the overall themes of the series" but not tell you any specifics of what happens.

anyway let's get into BLOOD and then OUT FOR DRINKS that is ep 7:

Building tension is more narratively important than resolving that tension. That’s why, once Denji realizes he can keep feeding from the devil as he’s killing it, we don’t need to see more of that battle.

the "I'm a fucking perpetual motion machine!" is a moment of real triumph because that's all we, the viewers, need to know that This Is Over And Denji Is Winning

the Etetnity Devil KNOWS POCHITA FROM BEFORE, says THIS — that’s the important moment, narratively, from this battle

WHAT WERE YOU BEFORE, POCHITA? HOW DO OTHER DEVILS KNOW YOU, CHAINSAW DEVIL?? WHY ARE THEY SCARED OF YOU?

the monologue from master here (coupled with this intense face scar) is so fucking good. The extended metaphor about having a screw loose IS IMPORTANT TO THE THEME OF THIS STORY YALL:

Also the mere fact that we get this flashback through Himeno's POV is a) giving us a Himeno characterization, namely that she is still afraid:

(this after master's line about "can't be unhinged without loosening the screws a bit every day" in regards to his heavy drinking, which is also a great fucking line)

and b) characterizing Denji through seeing how other people view him, which is UNHINGED! INSANE! SO CRAZY IT ACTUALLY MIGHT WORK! which is not a bad tagline for makima's entire approach to Denji and the Gun Devil lolololol. Because Denji, as a POV character, has all the self-awareness of a 16yo boy (haha which is none).

the battle doesn’t need to be on screen all three days when you can use VISUAL STORYTELLING

(i just love power wearing her shoes in bed like a fiend. ha, ha, plop)

and then, in thirty seconds, tension cut, Public Safety Devil Hunters out!

The Himeno/Aki "Arai and Kobeni feel guilty about trying to kill Denji. Didn't you try to kill him, too?" and Himeno's "Kids these days! So sensitive!" is both funny but also Aki has pointed out multiple times, even before this mission, that he would not hesitate to kill Denji and Power if he felt necessary to do so. I don't think he expects Himeno to actually feel guilty, but is just probing her for her feelings.

Spouse pointed out that Holding cigarettes with a hand cupped is how you smoke in the rain & Himeno is doing this because she’s used to things being splattered

Then of course the actual most important plot revelation this episode: 

Denji’s age reveal!!!!! 

WANNA TALK ABOUT GROOMING MAKIMA-SAN?

HIS IS YOUNG EVEN IN UNIVERSE. OTHER PUBLIC SAFETY DEVIL HUNTERS THINK HE’S YOUNG, REGARDLESS OF HOW VIEWERS SEE HIM.

And this CHANGES A LOT OF THINGS about this show!! For me, anyway, it did!!! Like! Denji is drawn like any anime protagonist, frankly, anime protagonists all look the age of anime protagonists so there is no visual indicator of how young he is UNTIL THIS. This throws all his earlier character arcs into SHARP,  SHARP relief. Like of course he is obsessed with touching boobs, he’s a sixteen year old boy. He barely has a prefrontal cortex. 

the narrative is not condoning his actions, we as viewers aren’t getting gratituous upskirt shots or boob focused shots like actual fanservice anime would do. This age reveal is bringing us, as viewers, into a world with frankly very realistic and unsexualized portrayals of female characters. The animation and rest of the story has NEVER been on Denji’s Touch Boobs level, and even goes as far as mocking him constantly by other characters in universe. 

And I would also argue that the way you can take advantage of horny 16yo boys because they won’t say no to any sex act is a HUGE part of his arc. Because now we and his coworkers have to contend with Denji’s immaturity as a literal teenage boy. 

Also Himeno saying this, when she later kisses Denji in an extremely unfortunate way,  takes Denji home without his consent, and then OFFERS TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM like Himeno. 

So here we have the question: Does this make her a bad character? 

and here’s the beauty of CSM: it DOES NOT CARE if this makes her good or bad. We’ve gotten intimate portrayals of Himeno, both good and bad, showing her possessiveness over Aki who barely seems to return her affections (but who knows with Aki), her helping Denji by pulling his chainsaw string during that fight, maybe saving his life, but also she tried to kill him, and also only decided to save him when she decided it was in her self-intrerest to do so. 

In fact, you could ask: does anyone in chainsaw man do anything that doesn’t serve their own self-interest? And the only answer is maybe Denji. Aside from helping Power save Meowy (you could argue he did it for the boobs), he saves multiple bystanders while fighting devils, and that one guy in a car he didn’t save when the bat devil taunted him for saving innocent people is our example that proves the point. Or is it????? Does anyone in chainsaw man perform any action that doesn’t directly benefit them? Let’s continue that thought later. 

let’s instead talk about Denji’s Horny Is Makima Watching? First Kiss: 

 kinky. But I’m not mad at it (yet). Not actually mad about making out with someone while the person you actually care about watches. I am mad about The Vomit Kiss, however: 

So I’m thirty, and I’m a surgeon, and I handle combined blood and feces together on the reg, and my disgust tolerance is extremely high, and THIS HITS IT. So I am not going to actually examine this in the depth that I usually would, because…..I  do not want to. But suffice it to say that: art is something that elicits an emotion from you, and disgust is an emotion,  and the disgust and shame and pity elicited by this scene fucking WORKS. 

i know viewers see this as sad/hilarious (& it is) but narratively they are going with ACTUALLY TRAUMATIC TO DENJI, because we immediately get a Pochita flashback, and Pochita flashbacks only happen when we're getting moments of Purity and Innocence:

and then a smash cut to Denji throwing up on the toilet while Arai (god bless) helps him and rubs his back. This is a sixteen year old whose first kiss was someone vomiting into his mouth. Like, immediately. And that’s pretty fucking tragic. He then gets taken home by Himeno, against his knowledge, in a scene that veers pretty sharply into date rape territory, though tbd if they’ll actually follow through on the sex (especially since they've now rammed home that it's SEX WITH A MINOR, which still matters in this universe, as evidenced by coworker reactions to his age). 

It will be interesting to see what Denji’s line is when it comes to Horny Sixteen Year Old Boy versus Someone Who Wants Meaningful Experiences with Makima. Hoooo boy. Episode 8, bring it on. 

For episode 7 bespoke credits we get this lovely sexy/gross vaporwave sequence. s/o to MAPPA (& their terrible working conditions) who as always throw their senior class ass-first into the animation meatgrinder and produce michelin star animation for Chainsaw Man from their animators’ dead bodies. 

[juniperhillpatient]

heyyyy girllll

talk about jdronica to mee pleaseeeee i'm dying rn i just need to hear some good shit about it lol

Hii 😀💖 I hope your night improves soon 🥺

Hmmmm well I am having a rough night myself irl (nothing too terrible just annoying ass customers getting on my nerves & family obligations stressing me a bit) & my brain is tired & fried so I’ll be honest my thoughts are not smart or original right now but how about I just ramble a bit about why I love them 🥺

I love a good twisted love story about love that corrupts okay. You see the thing about JD & Veronica is that they are THEE corruption ship like they are literally dramatic bitches who immediately fell hard & fast for each other & made it everyone else’s problem. That right there is love bitch! Some may not like it but it’s the blueprint. We love toxic bitches who make each other worse 💖

I think what people miss about them is that the love is ✨real.✨ It’s toxic & fucked up & that leads to people wanting to pretend it’s not really love, but that is fundamentally misunderstanding the story. YEAH JD gets so angry & violent at the end including toward Veronica but he’s ALWAYS doing everything he does out of love for her in his own sick & twisted way 💖And Veronica loves him back & that’s very underrated & often misunderstood. The story just doesn’t work if Veronica doesn’t love JD. It’s why the line “I wish we’d met before they convinced you life is war” makes me SO fucking crazy because JD is literally trying to blow up the school with them in it & she’s STILL lamenting that they never got a normal life together like FUCK 😭

But you know… I think in a way Veronica never understood that her dream of “normal” was an impossible fantasy. She & JD bonded specifically over violence. Even the line when she’s breaking up with him in ‘I Say No’ “‘cause I believe that love will win & hate will earn you nothing in the end’” is VERY interesting in the context that JD is in FACT doing everything he does out of love. I mean “Our Love is God” is literally extremely explicitly spelling this this out for Veronica & the audience. JD does have a lot of hate but it’s so important to understand that that that’s NOT what motivates him. What motivates him is LOVE. If JD just wanted to kill people cause he’s filled with hate he’d do it. But no - it’s Veronica awakening something in him that motivates him to start killing for HER. But I’m not sure that Veronica ever really understands this tbh & maybe it’s for the best because can you imagine her struggling even years later, afraid to ever let anyone love her again because she remembers what loving her does to a person? Annnnd I just made myself emo thinking about that & now I kinda wanna write a fic about Veronica years after the events of the musical / movie struggling to ever accept love again because her love corrupts & leads to violence & loss & tragedy….

A N Y W A Y that’s why JD & Veronica make me SO crazy insane because their love is God & God is cruel & merciless & chaotic 💖💖💖

[glassartpeasants]

Like Father, Like Son

Overhaul x F!Reader

Warnings: Angst, unhealthy/toxic relationships, child abuse, mentions of needles

A/N: This is a post based on a head cannon made by @yandereacademia which you can see here. I promise I will continue the DDLC AU but I needed to get this angst outta my system because I’ve been really stressed lately lol. Also the original storyline is kinda bumped up to fit the story

~~~

The only reason you were with the sociopath called Overhaul is because of a stupid mistake you made about 5 months ago. If you could go back in time you would’ve never drank that much until you were blackout drunk. You had somehow managed to sleep with the germophobic man after you both crossed paths when you both were blackout drunk. Which leaded where you are now. In the Shie Hassakai base, pregnant with his child. 

Once you showed him the test he demanded- no, MADE you quit your old job ad live in the base with him. Not in his room of course.Who knows what germs you could be carrying! You don’t get special treatment even if you are the mother of his child. And If we’re being honest, he doesn’t really see it as his child. More like an heir. How else would the Shie Hassakai live on? 

He doesn’t even see you that often. He sends either Chrono or Mimic to look after you. Sometimes Setsuno. You liked Setsuno since he actually treated you like a human rather than a burden. Chrono was a bit better than mimic. Mimic was just a plain ass. 

Your entire pregnancy was all about check ups. Healthy food, did I mention checkups? It was almost every Tuesday and Friday that he made you come into a little doctors room and inspect you and give you ultrasounds. You felt more like an incubator rather than a mother, but you digress. Once you got the news that the child was a boy you bet your ass Overhaul was way more worried about you than he originally was.

You wanted to run really. You saw what horrible things Overhaul had done. You didn’t want your child to end up like Eri or to turn into a shit human being like Overhaul. You wanted your child to grow up compassionate and kind, not a stone cold murderer with no remorse for human life.

Maybe once your child is born you can teach him those things in secret...

~~~

2 years after the child is born

You were right, Overhaul wanted nothing to do with the baby until it was old enough to be taught the ways of the yakuza. He wasn’t even impressed when the baby started talking and walking! You wanted to yell, scream, argue, and just hurt the man in general. A child needs support, not a unimpressed look everytime they do an accomplishment. 

You always supported your son. Showing him how proud you were whenever he handed you a drawing of him and you. Overhaul barely even saw the kid which affected him to the point where the kid didn’t even draw him in pictures.

You were happy that your baby didn’t see/look up to Overhaul as a fatherly figure. Man didn’t deserve to be called one or be one. You were worried if Overhaul would use your son as a experiment like he was using Eri.  

Speaking of Eri, you finally convinced Overhaul to let you see her and comfort her after he used her for the bullets. She was such a sweetie and especially loved how you would sing her to sleep whenever she has a bad day. You didn’t get to see her a lot, but you did what you could when you did. If only you could make Overhaul see what he was doing to everyone around him...

~~~

Your son just turned 8

Everyday your son looked more and more liked his father. Not to mention he inherited Overhaul’s quirk It wouldn’t have bothered you that much if it weren’t for the fact that he started looking up to his father. Whenever your so was getting put to bed by you, he would always tell you about how much he wanted to be the next leader. He would tell you how he watched Overhaul to paperwork, sat next to him in meetings and such. The finally straw for you was when he told you that Overhaul let him use his quirk on a living breathing human being. To say you were furious was an understatement. All you saw was red. 

You smiled at the boy before pressing a kiss to his head and walking out his door while whispering goodnight before your started your expedition to give Overhaul a piece of your mind. You’ve stayed quiet for to long. You couldn’t just let him expose your child to such violence at such a young age! All you saw was red as you walked to his office door. Giving it a harsh knock you were allowed entry.

Upon entering you notice that you are the only one there with him. Just the two of you. You were afraid yes, but your anger out did it.

“Did you seriously let our son use his quirk on someone at such a young age?! He’s only 8! He doesn’t need to be exposed so early!” You yelled at him with your hands on your hips. You knew if you pointed at him you could say goodbye to that finger.

“He’s going to be the next leader. It’s only natural to start him off early. And I don’t remember giving you a say in the matter.” His voice cold and stoic but a hint of annoyance caught your ears.

“8 is way to early! Please Overhaul, Just give me 2-3 more years without him experiencing what you do.” You begged him. Tears threatened to spill from your eyes. You only wanted what was best for your son. Your heart stopped when you heard Overhaul get up from his desk and his footsteps come near your now slightly shaking form.

“Bold of you to assume I would let him miss out on very needed skills to become the next leader. We both know that if it weren’t for him, you would have been dead the second i found out I slept with you. That boy is the only thing that kept you alive. So, from now on, I expect you to never come to my face. Talking about him needing to be kind and compassionate, is not the way of the yakuza. One more incident like this, than I’ll make him kill you myself.” Your eyes widened as you looked at the man in front of you. You can feel your blood run cold in your veins as it circulates through your body. Tears streaked down your face as you felt so defeated. Your entire body felt like you’ve been crushed by a car. 

You turned around and walked out the door and into your room. Locking the door your jumped onto your bed, grabbing the pillow before screaming into it. Your tears stained the pillow case as your body shook. You felt so hopeless and so helpless. Where was a hero when you truly needed one?

~~~

The next day

You were just finished changing before your son barged into your room. You were about to say good morning to him before he started screaming at you. Shocked you told him to calm down, but in the corner of your eye you saw the purple feathers that you have learned to fear walk by.

“What are you saying? Please calm down!” You say as you try to soothe your screaming child.

“How dare you try and take me away from dad! Dad told me everything!” Your son flailed his arms up and down while stomping on the ground. His screams soon turned incoherent.

“Baby! I would never-”

“Liar! Dad told me that you wanted to leave him! He said that you thought he didn’t deserve a son!” You didn’t say that what was he on?! You only wanted to protect him! You loved your son to the point you would die for him! What had Overhaul said to him!

“Please sweetie calm down-”

“No! I never want to talk to you again!” Your son ran out the door before slamming it shut. Your heart felt shattered as you heard Overhauls voice on the other side, ’calming’ your distressed son. You felt your world crumbling around you as your son was the only thing that kept you happiness in these dark times. Him and Eri. Oh Eri, if he grows up that means...

You felt vomit rise in your throat at the thought of your own son hurting such a sweet, innocent, little girl. You fall to your knees as tears spill down your cheeks. You couldn’t just run away from the Shie Hassakai ever. The base is fully guarded, and has high max security cameras. Not to mention the probability of them finding you and your son right away. If you even tried, you would probably get you and your son hurt. Maybe even little Eri. 

Your whole body felt numb. You just wished it was a horrible nightmare.

~~~

5 months later

As the weeks pass by, you felt your hurt break more and more everyday. Your son had kept his word when he said he ever wanted to talk to you again. You haven’t heard your baby's voice since that day. Hell, now you barely even see him! You see Eri more than your actual son now. ANd seeing Eri was not that often.

You felt hopeless. You wanted nothing more to do than crawl in a hole and die. Every night was spent crying over your son and how your life and gone so down hill so quickly. You didn’t even feel like moving. You just sat in the corner of the room since it felt like the only warm spot in the entire room. This little corner felt like some sort of sanctuary in this horrible place you call home. 

~~~

Your son just turned 13

Day whatever of the last time your son talked to you. And day whatever since you’ve left your room. You had no reason anymore. Overhaul officially banished you from ever seeing Eri again. Your world was crushed once more. At this point you felt like your whole existence was useless. 

Your days grew darker by the minute as your mental health seemed to be slipping through your fingers. You only ever moved when you needed to go to the bathroom or to drag the food plate that was brought to you by some employee of Overhaul. You barely ate anything anyways so you really saw no point in doing anything anymore. 

It only hurt more knowing that today was his birthday. You had asked the employee that brought you food if he had a party or just something to celebrate. You felt the last of your hope crushed once you heard his answer.

“The only thing he got was a official Shie Hassakai mask.”

~~~

Your son turned 15

You body was weak. You had refused to eat anything seeing no point in it anymore. You were always tired. Only getting up to go to the bathroom then sitting back in the corner that once gave you sanctuary. 

You heard footsteps on the outside of your door as the familiar voice of Overhaul was on the other side. Another voice rang in your ears and it hit you like a train once you realized who’s it was. It was your sons. His voice was so much deeper than the little boy’s you had once heard. It only deepened your sadness. You blinked but didn’t even turn your eyes once you heard the door opening. 

“We can test the serum out on her first. She’s too weak to fight back.”

“I didn’t know my mother had a quirk.” You couldn’t even make your eyes turn to look at them. You didn’t want to see the monster your son had become. Your heart couldn’t take anymore heartbreak, You felt like you would crumble into nothing.

You felt a light get shine into your eyes. You didn’t even blink during it. Once the light was gone you got a clear look at your once loving son. A mask covered his face just like his fathers did. He looked you in the eyes and you did the same. You wanted to cry but held it down. 

A latex hand grabbed your arm before you felt the needle being poked into it. You didn’t even flinch or wince. Almost as if you were a lifeless doll. A hand moved up and down your face as if to see if you were even alive or ‘there’.

“She isn’t responding to anything. She didn’t even wince. She’s breathing but she looks like she’s sick.” All that was one ear and out the other. Finally you felt the needle leave your arm as a sigh escaped Overhaul’s lips. 

“Well wait for about an hour or two and see the effects. For now, we have to do more tests on Eri. Lets go.” So...he was apart of the team experimenting on Eri. You felt like throwing up. How could the boy who you raised to be kind and compassionate turn into such a disgusting monster.

The sound of their footsteps leaving the room hit your ears. From the corner of your eye you say your son about to leave before you spoke up,

“You are not my son.” You saw him stop in his tracks as he turned to look at you. His eyes a bit wide but said nothing.

“I never want to hear you call me your mother ever again. Your a monster undeserving of one. I can’t believe I gave birth to someone like you. I never want ot see your face again.” In your monotone words they’re were spikes laced in venom. You couldn’t even look your own son in the eyes. As they we’re the same as his monster of a father. 

“Get out of my room and never come back.” You heard him close the door slowly as you let out a breath once you finally saw him gone. You can barely stand to see the monster your child had become. But, you didn’t see nor hear the way his breathing became ragged. Or how his eyes felt like spilling tears. Or how his body slowly shook at your words. 

‘It shouldn’t hurt. This shouldn’t hurt me. Why does it hurt so bad? Please stop it. Her words shouldn’t affect me. Why does it hurt?’

[ahjustroza]

Hello, could you write an HC about an GN!MC who used to be a mob boss or run an illegal organization and the Mains 6 + Valerius' Reaction? Doesn't need to be angsty just dramatic

I wanted to go dramatic with the CGs lmao. Also, it got long and everything is under the cut.

Warning!

Headcanon includes the mention of murder, suicide, crime, and depression. So I would say it is NSFW.

Mob Boss MC Headcanons

Asra

He always knew it

He knows everything about you even the things you don't know about yourself

I can see you as the type of boss that doesn't create mass murders for personal gain

However, I can see thievery, blackmailing, and playing your games dirty

Maybe illegal underground market business in the red market (a version of the black market in Vesuvia)

You are smart but also have a soft spot

For him

And only him

Since MC canonically lives with him for a long time I can only picture you being a mob boss in your past before him

But your past is probably still haunting you

You don't necessarily need a tragic childhood to be a mob boss

I want to leave the reasons up to you but I refuse to believe you would be cruel and unreasonable

Because you are all amazing human beings

Many people get into this lifestyle by mistake, choice, or by someone else's force

Whatever reason that made you get into this lifestyle however did change you

You have trust issues, always on defensive mode, and always observing everything around you for possible threats or problems

But he came into your life and became the center of it

You told him what you did before moving to Vesuvia step by step

Not in one go

You tried to see how he would react to you

When you couldn't keep this secret from him anymore, you just told him

It was very impulsive of you

Highly surprising

You told him how you started from the bottom and climbed to the top

you told him how everyone in your home knows your name

How many people were your followers and how if you ask they will come and continue to follow you without a question

You did dirty work, you hurt people too

Violence is something he can not tolerate

At all

But just like you, he is also at the loss of words when any topic comes to the possibility of you leaving

He doesn't want you to go

And you don't want to leave

So expect him to stay away from you for a while

He will not speak of it out loud ever again

Never going to tell anything to even Muriel

No one has to know

Because you are now here and a different person

He will assume that you did what you did to survive

Just like his best friend...

When you lose your memories and slowly starting to gain them back

He is hesitant to answer any question regarding your past

But he knows that he has to

So he does

And you get involved in the red market

Asra is disappointed but you assure him that it is to find ingredients for your magic shop

He will never leave you, but he is not approving illegal business

Yet who he is to judge?

He made a ritual to bring you back by killing the Count of Vesuvia

So he is more on the stick close to you so that you won't get hurt side

Nadia

She will either use your connections for spy mastering or lock you up until she gets rid of your gang/illegal organization

But oh no she will not give up on you for being a simple mob boss oh no

She grew up into the royalty and probably dealt with and seen worst situations

She will not allow you to put yourself into any kind of danger and if she must she will put you on house arrest or even lock you up in dungeons

She dealt with a crazy husband before and she learned from her mistakes

So do as she says

She will give you two options, either listen to her or leave Vesuvia completely

Nadia will want her answer on the spot because if you truly want to be with her, you shouldn't need a lot of time to think about it

She will be even more dominant around you

She will make sure to remind you who has the power

If you leave Vesuvia she will never want to see you again

But she will be there personally to put you to the ground if you cause any trouble

If you choose to stay then you have another two options

You leave the business completely or run it for her favor

Provide him important information about the underground market and other organizations in Vesuvia

Yet that only can happen if you can hide your identity as a mob boss

So get creepy and wear a Tokyo Ghoul mask during business hours

I'd say if you chose to go disguise and spy on the underground for Nadia

You two will be the dictionary definition of the power couple

Like hot damn

Imagine

You live like royalty during the day and go be a mob boss during the night

She will even make you her spymaster if you are willing

Julian

He will volunteer to be your henchman (is this what it is called?)

Yeah

You have now extra trouble because he is not leaving your side

He will even find you more connections for business

He knows key people in different countries and cities

He knows roads to pass without getting caught

He did live this lifestyle for quite a long time after all

Minus the mob boss part

He is by no means not letting anyone he doesn't like to even have an audience with you

My man knows his way with people and not afraid to put up a fight for you

He is impulsive but useful in the underground world

He is a doctor without a license (or it is just a myth? who really knows...) so he was really doing illegal consultations on regular basis lol

He will patch you up when you get hurt and probably will teach you how you can make lethal damage to your enemy during a fight by teaching you anatomy

You will have to send him to horny jail whenever he talks about anatomy because he is a visual learner

And the best way he teaches anything is to show you

So lock him up

It's not like he will resist

He is good with reading body language too

I can think of Julian to be giving you the most understanding reaction when you tell him that you are a mob boss

He has a history (again I remind you)

So if he is in love with you, he is stuck to your side and yes he will still have his leeches with him

His plague doctor mask becomes popular underground too

If you didn't know better, even you would find him scary and intimidating looking during the friendly business hours

And Julian being Julian, he will insist that you find yourself a mask too

So that you will be a power couple

But make it romantic

However, this is the best scenario where you are just doing business in the red market by selling illegal goods, or being a Mob Boss Robin Hood

if you do unacceptable things, such as cruelty towards children and the innocent

And anything violent that including torture and murder,

He will end this all himself

Julian is dramatic but if he had to kill you because there is no other way to stop you he will

Then will follow you not too long after.

Portia

She will hate to hear that.

Portia is strong but fragile at the same time

She has a strong emotional connection to you and you are probably one of those people she trusts more than anyone

So when you say that you are a mob boss she is broken

Hurt and disappointed

But mostly confused

She doesn't know what to do with this

What to do with you, with what you have between the both of you

She loves you a million

But you are wrong with your life decisions

the good and the bad fights inside of her mind when she tries to make a decision

She will either leave everything behind and live a life similar to what her brother had to live

Or let you go to be yourself and get hurt

She will never forget you or never stop loving you

But she will be in a deep depression after you leave her

Most likely never recover

Because you broke the trust she gave you

So if you want her

If you want to be with her

You have to play your cards right

You are on very thin ice here

You can literally break her in a way without a return

So chose your life carefully

What do you want to do as a mob boss?

Will, you hurt people? Cause trouble and chaos? Torture the innocent and break families?

Or will you just do underground illegal trades and sales?

She can keep your secret if you just do your business in the red market

But she will not tolerate you causing harm to others

She will hate it but will stop you no matter the cost before you become the monster you two fought while falling in love with each other

You have her heart

But she has yours too

So she will not allow anyone else to stop you and do it herself

Because she is afraid for others to put you down in a painful way

She'll stop you rather gently

Caress your cheek while crying beside you

She will never forgive you but also will never stop loving you

You are her only big love and will remain like that forever

Or

She will be the person she was while Julian was on the run

Always nervous and always having anxiety and panic attacks

She won't leave you no

No no no no.

She rather dies than spend a day without the thought of you not loving her

Being there for her

She refuses very strongly to let you go and also get caught.

So in this scenario, you two are still together and preferably alive

But she is in agony every second of the day

And you know that this is all your fault

Yet continue anyway.

Muriel

No.

He is not accepting this.

He will be furious and hurt so much that he will tell you to go right away

He trusted you and you betrayed him

There is not much to say for Muriel

He doesn't want to see you again

Even though he wants you

He dreamed about having a peaceful life with you

But he will not go over all the pain he had caused by violence and power

Lucio

You already know he is down

He will do anything for you

Destroy enemy mob boss?

Run the entire underground together?

Invade a city so that you can make the illegal legal?

Do you want someone dead?

Do you want him to arm people for you?

Recruit followers?

Done.

With the potential he has there is no option to stay peaceful in the underground business

Even if you just mention that you want to make a certain business

He'll take it as order the moment it comes out of your mouth

It will be scary

Terrifying even

You will be unstoppable

Valerius

Lmao you probably got him cornered and forced him to work with you

And he got so turned on that said yes on the spot

But made it look as he was the victim here

He seems to be distressed with your connection but secretly he likes the power you have

You do as you please, take whatever you want

And people in the palace have no idea

He knows that you are smart

Otherwise, you wouldn't be able to become a boss and run your business flawlessly

He'll support you financially of course

Under the table

But the real job he does is to give you information

He is also good at creating gossips and rumors as well

He is connected to the high class and works in the palace so it is really hard for people to make any kind of connection between him and you

He pretends to make investigations about your illegal business but what he actually does is mislead the palace

In return, you get him precious stuff

Expensive wine, silk clothes, anything he wants

Oh my god Valerius is your sugar baby and he doesn't even know

Whenever you tell him to see you he is there the moment he can leave his work

He likes to be around you but plays hard to get

He loves to see you struggle and frustrated

He will not give you away but don't expect him to go down with you if you get caught either

He cares about his reputation

The best he can do is to help you escape in a way people can't make connections with him

Then you will most likely become his sugar baby-ish for a while

He will boss you around but the second you remind him who you are he will act bratty

Oh does he likes being bratty

[gaysagainststeve]

you don’t have to post this because i know how any post not demonizing billy gets someone a lot of hate.

ok i’m 2 weeks late but the unending billy hate just.. hurts my soul because it’s never a nuanced conversation. people refuse to admit that even though he’s done and said messed up things, he’s still a victim of abuse. i do blame the duffers for that because all they care about is demonizing him. dacre montgomery tried so hard to focus on billy’s abuse and insecurities and how that resulted in his shitty actions and adopted views from his father. he’s so real. not every abuse victim is overly kind and “docile.” he’s an angry person. victims of abuse can be angry and violent because that’s all they’ve been shown, but that doesn’t mean they “maybe deserve to die.” maybe the deserve a chance to change with proper care. ugh the way stranger things has handled billy’s abuse is so damaging to abuse victims. neil faces no consequences. max’s mother makes no mention of it despite witnessing it. a random basketball player’s abuse can be focused on but not billy’s? the way people say billy is worse than brenner & peter creel! it’s absolutely ridiculous. there’s also this misogynistic, hetnormative way in which antis will say that the only people who like billy are woman who think he’s hot. and don’t get me started on that hate dacre receives for trying to humanize his character and how he’s been ostracized by the duffer brothers. i could talk about this forever lol. anyways, he and steve are in love but the duffers saw that they were too powerful bye.

Dude i also have a whole manifesto about billy. I feel you so hard. Also im not afraid of antis saying anything to me bc i always want to be talking about this even on my streamer side blog lol

What i have to add is my opinion on the fact that ppl call him racist and abusive.

Billy does in season 2 say something implicitly racist saying max shouldn’t hang out with ppl like lucas. But the duffers are cowards that refuse to touch on any racism in the 80s. Im p sure its by the request of caleb who plays lucas, but theyve had characters say the f slur, had episodes about misogyny and yet they refuse to acknowledge the racism lucas may have faced even in passing. Im not saying lucas should be hate crimed but i feel like it would explain why he really wanted to be accepted by the basketball team and obsessed with being popular in season 4.

The duffers never follow up on the racist comment billy made and its not talked about at all in season 3. it is not a reoccurring or central trait to billy. Billys racism is as relevant as the byers dog to the duffers. They forget everything they write.

Also, the way he treats Max is a direct product of his abuse from his father. Anything she does wrong, billy gets punished for. Its a common abuse tactic idk why ppl think billy treats her bad just bc he’s evil. Also like… does anyone call intense fighting between siblings abuse in any other context??

The ppl who say hes the evilest person on the show are hard core projecting their own highschool bully onto him. I saw ppl saying jason was not as bad as billy and jason actually shot at lucas with the intent to kill him when billy pushed him up against a wall aggressively (i think the cast and creators even said this). Jason is the personification of rich white christian heterosexual America and the violence that comes from their ignorance. Billy is literally a poor metal head that gets called gay slurs by his father. Jason has the power of the entire town behind him hunting down the party; billy is just some angry punk with no outlet that finds his little sister in a creepy house with a bunch of boys and a high school senior in the middle of the night.

I for sure get not liking billy but idk how it became so extreme and mainstream. It used to be just infighting in the fandom but now its all over tiktok and hating him is The Opinion to have.

I think it might be because the show is so black and white about whether or not a character is good or evil and people can’t handle that billy has any complexity at all.

Also is it a crime for a man to be attractive? Ppl will crucify you if you don’t have a moral reason for liking a character istg. Maybe he’s the only character on that show that has any depth AND has a fat ass??? Ever think of that??

Thanks for sending this ask!!