#she clearly has no idea whats what any more

[wandixx]

Seriously chaotic fashion misadventures

I realized I posted a teaser and never really followed up on it, so here is some more of that

“Hey, Dami?”

Boy hadn’t looked up from the kittens he was bottle feeding but let out a hum indicating he listened.

“I'm thinking about trying out a more girlish style. Do you think it would suit me?”

Well, Damian had no idea but if Dani wished to give it a chance, then, well, the only proper reaction was to offer his aid.

*-*-*

“Father, I require access to your rouge gallery.”

Bruce almost choked on his breakfast when his youngest made this announcement.

Rouge gallery, as his children playfully called it, was vast collection of lipsticks, which he collected to uphold his Brucie persona. Famous playboy with head constantly in the clouds couldn’t not show up with discreet signs of scandal from time to time. And it couldn’t always be the same shade. Or scent when he choose more subtle approach and used one of his more feminine perfumes.

In all honesty, he enjoyed this.

But that’s not the point, point was that Damian wanted to use it and Bruce needed to know what disaster would fall upon him if he agreed.

“Mind telling me why, chum?”

Dick, who visited Manor for a weekend, barely stifled his laughter while Tim stared at his empty coffee mug like it personally betrayed him. Cass just wore her usual knowing and mischievous smile.

Damian shifted in his chair, hands clenching on butter knife. He was nervous and suddenly Bruce dreaded the answer he was about to hear.

“I don’t see how me sharing this information would change anything. It won’t be used to cause harm to anyone but it’s necessary in the extracurricular project I just started.”

“Dami, what project?” Dick asked, voice oozing with genuine curiosity and excitement. He was almost bouncing.

“I don’t want to disclose it.”

“Is this a hero or civilian type of deal?”

Damian didn’t look any of them in the eyes, both hands clenching on his seat as he kept shifting. Bruce narrowed his eyes. Was his youngest… flustered?

“Civilian”

“Alright, great” Dick swung back with single clap, almost tripping his chair over “I think B won’t have anything against you using his rouge gallery, will he?” Man knew his oldest son well enough to recognize his ‘don’t you dare to disagree’ tone. He was confused but there wasn’t any harm so he nodded with affirmative hum.

“Thank you, Father”

Boy practically inhaled rest of his food and rushed outside. Despite all his training and all his efforts, they clearly saw his excitement. Tim pinched himself and returned to staring at his mug.

“Cass, have you seen what I’ve seen or am I overreacting?” Dick asked, barely restraining his enthusiasm. Girl nodded eagerly, shoving more crumbs into her mouth. Young man cheered, throwing his hands up.

“What have I missed?” Tim mumbled, frowning a little.

“BABY BAT HAS A CRUSH!”

Cass nodded again with wide smile.

Oh.

Oh no.

Who were they? What did he know about them? Was Protocol 3r0s started? Did someone run a background check already? What could they do if they somehow hurt Damian? Was this person a risk to their identities? Oh gods, oh no.

He probably will have to do The Talk™.

He always dreaded having The Talk, with any of his kids. He felt The Talk with Damian would be even worse. Understandably so.

“Also sleep in at least three da-”

“Fuck off, dick.”

“Was this insult or-”

His children remained obvious to how much work it meant, cheering and sassing each other like they often did.

*-*-*

Damian did not know how it was possible but he lowered his guard enough to get caught.

"What are you doing?" Brown choked out after they stared at each other for a long moment.

"It does not concern you–"

"You're rummaging through my wardrobe, not many things concern me more and also, that's frickin creepy don't do it to anyone outside of the family"

She did have a point however he was not convinced it would be the correct approach if he shared his plan. Father's wards (even unofficial like Brown) tended to make assumptions and overreact based on these conjectures. Dani wasn't easy to scare off but he didn't want to check if his family would manage. They often did things thought to be impossible.

He tried to get away but the blonde stood fiercely in a door, leaving the window as the only way out. He wasn't this desperate. Yet.

Girl looked more and more angry at his silence. He had to give her some answers.

Now that he actually considered it, she could be a useful asset. She was far better versed in women's fashion and if he phrased it correctly, he wouldn't even need to bribe her. Question was, how should he phrase it?

"I have an acquaintance- I have a friend," he corrected himself "from the animal shelter I volunteer at. She mentioned wanting to try out more 'girlish style' and asked for my opinion. I wanted to see if you had any clothes that would fit her. She is smaller than me so I thought that whatever I take, it wouldn't be missed." 

Brown grinned with an unsettling gleam in her eyes. He suddenly regretted opening his mouth if not coming to this room in the first place. 

"Say no more, I have a plan Demon Child"

[just-a-itty-bitty-kitty]

Voice of the Smitten is a coping mechanism. (and so are the other voices)

The same thing applies to the rest of the voices, yes. But for my sanity, today, let's just talk about Smitten[I am ill about him].

Smitten is fixated on the Princess and on appeasing Her because he's born out of a belief that She's their only way to happiness and safety.

In Damsel's chapter 1, LQ establishes for themself that the Narrator is not a safe nor trustworthy person, but unlike Prisoner's ch1, instead of learning to be generally cautious and adopting an idea that there's no one they can fully trust, Quiet puts all of their trust into the Princess.

I strongly believe that, in order to shield themself from a dangerous, unclear, and scary reality, LQ dives into a sort of... 'fairytale' scenario. And that scenario, by extension, becomes the backbone of Smitten's whole worldview. He, just like the rest of the voices, is born out of a need for safety and control, and he knows of it as his purpose and his yearning. His mindset works as a mechanism that protects Quiet from a state of intense stress and discomfort.

So then, what is this mindset, exactly?

Well, for Smitten, expectations of certain roles appear. Roles that everyone has and needs to uphold: The Shining Knight, the Helpless Damsel, the Villain that's keeping them apart.

"Then you should know that we and the Princess are in love and the four of us will be foiling any and all assassination attempts you've got in the works."

These roles bring a sense of comfort. He has this vision of what the world is supposed to be, of what he's supposed to be. Fairytales always have happy endings, so with this vision, there comes a promise of everything working out.

"If he just makes everything go the way it's supposed to, then they'll be safe."

It gives Smitten the role of a protector, someone who controls the situation and wants the best for Quiet, as opposed to the Narrator who has an ulterior motive and clearly just wants to hurt them.

It gives him a sense of control.

So when something goes wrong, it feels like that control is yanked away, and that threatens his and LQ's safety. It takes away his happy ending that he tries so hard to keep.

"We'll get our happy ending, even if it damns each and every person who's ever lived!"

Another thing worth remembering is that the voices and LQ are at least under the impression that they haven't been living for very long. The only experiences they have to go off of, to learn from, are the ones we see in Chapter 1 and then on. To Smitten, the last time things went awry, they died horribly.

So it's no wonder he freaks out and feels like he has to push back for control. And that is also why he sees no problem with killing Quiet's body or even detaching himself from them entirely.

"Don't mind my sacrifice. It's a fair price to pay to give her everything she doesn't know she wants."

He places the responsibility for taking care of everyone on himself. Smitten is firmly under the impression that he "knows better". And he's even proven right a fair amount of times, which only solidifies the idea in his head.

"I told you! There's no life more worth living than that of a true believer!"

"I told you our love was insurmountable!"

But that also means Smitten unintentionally traps himself(and everyone around him) into a box, limiting his potential to just that, a shallow role. And that creates the feeling of inferiority.

His role is all there is to him, so if he can't uphold it, then it means there's something fundamentally wrong with him. It means he's failed.

In fact, Smitten seems to be laser-focused on his own shortcomings, at least when it comes to the Princess.

If She's somehow unhappy with anything Smitten has to offer, then it's not because She did something wrong, or because of some outside factor out of their control(he doesn't want to accept anything being out of his control, even if it would seemingly benefit him). No, it's because Smitten wasn't enough.

He idolizes Her while putting himself down.

"That's because she's perfect!"

It's a bit more complicated with The Long Quiet. On one hand, they are technically one person, but on the other, the voices like to distinguish themselves and seem to have a sense of their own identity.

If we take a look at one of Damsel's third chapters: The Burned Grey, Smitten is very distraught and angry at Quiet, and yet also berates himself at the same time.

"Ah, yes. The mirror. So we can see the monster we've become."

"No, my love! You did nothing wrong! I'm sorry! I'M SORRY, NOT YOU!"

So I think we can assume that it's a mix of both. He may feel angry at LQ but will ultimately blame himself.

Because it's his job to make sure everything went smoothly. It's his job to make sure that She was happy, because if She's happy – they're happy and they just threw all of his work away, but he was supposed to stop them. He was supposed to keep them happy.

He was supposed to keep them happy.

[tuesdaykiss]

“touching toes”

rafe cameron social media au

“he’s over more and more, had to give him a whole drawer. to be honest, kinda like seeing his trainers by the door.” — olivia dean, ‘touching toes’.

synopsis: after finishing her fashion studies at college in nyc, y/n moves to outerbanks to live with her grandparents. she worries about the loneliness that comes with being in a new place, knowing only her cousin topper and other relatives… that is until she is acquainted with a certain cameron.

part — 18 | 19 | 20

masterlist

later that evening, the two of you found yourselves sitting on the couch opposite the end of the bed. the air between you was still charged with the weight of your earlier conversation, but somehow it was lighter. rafe’s arm draped over the back of the sofa, fingers brushing against your shoulder absentmindedly. feeling a sense of comfort from this newfound understanding between you both, you leaned into him slightly.

the moment was shattered by the sound of the hotel door swinging open. sarah stormed in, her dress bag slung lazily over her shoulder and a pair of heels dangled from her fingers. her cheeks were flushed, her expression a mixture of anger and exhaustion.

“seriously, rafe?” she snapped at her brother, her voice remained sharp as she organised her things.

you froze, distance growing between you and rafe on the couch as he crossed his arms. he wasn’t surprised by her outburst, if anything he looked like he has been bracing for it.

“what now?” he questioned, keeping his tone cool.

pointing an accusatory finger at him, sarah spun around, “what now? are you serious, rafe? what now?” her eyes darted to you for a brief moment before returning to him, “that picture, on your story! the whole fucking world saw it!”

you swallowed hard, feeling your cheeks heat up. you hadn’t even looked at the aftermath, too afraid of what you’d find.

“so what?” rafe shot back, his nonchalance clearly irritating his sister, “it was a joke, sarah.”

she scoffed, “a joke? you posted a picture of her arse!”

sarah began pacing around the room, her hands pulling through her hair, “do you have any idea what you have done? people are going to dig. they’re going to speculate. and you’ve brought her into this… MESS!”

the weight of sarah’s words settled over the three of you, the room going quiet. rafe’s jaw tightened but before he could form a response, sarah let out a frustrated sigh and flopped onto the bed.

“i mean, seriously, rafe,” she muttered, palms covering her face, “could you not have just waited ‘til after my show?”

sarah knew there was nothing going on between you and her brother, you had told her that yourself. but she couldn’t help but feel anger over the stolen limelight; rafe’s post had sent her fandom into a frenzy, causing them to forget about her big day. you let out a sigh of relief, realising her anger wasn’t directed towards you.

you opened your mouth to say something, but sarah’s next words stopped you.

“because, oh… my…god! my rehearsal today was amazing!” she suddenly gushed, her voice abruptly taking on an excited, sing-song tone as she sat up.

“you should’ve seen it,” she continued, her earlier anger momentarily forgotten, “the lighting was perfect, the music was flawless and the models? oh, we killed it! i cannot wait for you to see it tomorrow!”

a smile crept onto your face, despite the tension. that was sarah for you — she couldn’t stay mad for long, not with something so exciting on her mind.

“you looked stunning on the photo you sent me,” you said softly, intending to steer the conversation further away from rafe’s post.

she beamed at you, “i just can’t believe this is really happening. i mean, loewe, really? i get to walk for loewe!”

rafe took the opportunity to chime in, his voice softer now, “i’m really proud of you, sar. you deserve this.”

her gaze flicked to him, her expression softening slightly, “thanks, rafe,” she said, though she didn’t let him off the hook entirely, “but don’t think this means i’ve forgotten about your post. we’ll continue that conversation later.”

rafe sighed, his hands up in mock surrender, “fine, later.”

yourusername

liked by sarahcameron, rafecam and 4,263 others

yourusername can’t sleep bc @/sarahcameron is walking for loewe tomorrow ❤️

view comments

sarahcameron i love youuuuuu

sarahcameron i’m so excitedd arghhh

yourusername i know, you’ve been jumping on the bed for half an hour

user real

sarahfan101 so we’re just gonna forget about rafe’s post?

user2 that’s what i thought, she hasn’t said anything on it

user3 do you think they’re a thing?

user2 i hope not that’s MY man

sarahupdates so proud ❤️

johnbr fine you can give her a good luck kiss (cheek only) from me

yourusername already did jb, 100 times

kiaracarrera if you look closely you can see me in between you both

itscleo squint and you’ll see me too

that night, the hotel room was quiet except for the faint hi um of the air conditioning. rafe had retreated to his own room. you and sarah were sprawled out in the plush king-sized bed, the soft glow of the bedside lamp casting a warm light over the room. she was scrolling aimlessly on her phone, still buzzing from her rehearsals earlier that day, while you stared at the ceiling, attempting to gather your thoughts.

she let out a soft sigh, looking at you with an expectant look as she turned, “so,” she began, setting her phone on the nightstand. “are we going to talk about it, or are you just going to act like my brother didn’t post a picture of your arse?”

“i was hoping you’d forget about that,” you groaned, throwing your arm over your face and laughing, “and it was hardly my arse!”

sarah snorted. “forget about it? are you joking? i’ve been dying to bring it up all day… i need answers.” she shifted her face to you, propping her head on her arms, “so spill. tell me, what’s going on?”

“i already told you—”

“oh, come on,” sarah said, nudging you side, “i’m not that stupid, i’m not falling for the whole ‘it’s a joke’ act, you’ve got going on.”

you sighed in defeat, your stomach knotting as you tried to conjure up what to say next. “it’s… complicated,” you mumbled, your gaze stuck on the ceiling.

a/n: have so much to do, but i’ll aim to finish the next part in time i promise

me when i have posted all my pre-made chapters…

taglist: @my-name-is-baby @yesshewrites1 @urbrunettebombshell @leather-n-velvet @fruitcakerafe @littlefreak-liz @wdwbts101 @akobx @lossfairy @marleymarleymarleymarley @jjmaybankmylovee @mbella607 @scream4mami @mrsdrewstarkeyy @honeyluvsatj

[commandershepardvasfuckit]

Kingsguard part 4

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

M!troll x f!reader

2.3k words

You knew Ba’tual rarely slept with someone more than once, you weren’t quite sure exactly what to make of him letting you know he was expecting more.

(Oral: male receiving, size difference)

————

The sounds of movement woke you and you opened your eyes to see sunlight streaming through the windows and Ba’tual getting dressed.

“Good, you’re up. I though I was going to have to wake you” he commented, only barely looking over.

You sat up, your head spinning a little. Not the worse hangover you had ever had, but you certainly were not feeling so great.

Looking around you saw your clothes folded and sitting on the table along with the borrowed jewelry neatly placed beside them, so at least getting dressed and leaving would be easy.

Well, mostly easy. You struggled to figure out how exactly Bira had tied the shirt around you yesterday and you resigned to wrapping it any way you could just to keep it up. Hopefully you would not see anyone on your way back to the inn where you were staying.

As you went to leave Ba’tual stopped you for a moment and placed his hand under your chin to tilt your head up and make you look at him. He glided his thumb along your bottom lip before pressing the tip of it into your mouth, “I have things to do today, but I’m not done with you yet.”

He pressed his finger in a little farther and forced you to swirl your tongue around it “But you know where to find me.”

As you went to leave he gave you such a saccharine smile. He was still insufferable, but you supposed you did not have to like him to be able to have a little fun.

Tracing the roads back to the hold as a best you could, you kept an eye out for anyone who might recognize you, disheveled hair and last night’s clothes on incorrectly was not a good look on anyone.They were not many humans in the city so you drew at least some attention anywhere you went, but at least so far you did not know anyone you walked past.

You wanted to take a wide berth around the hold, figuring that was where you were most likely to bump into familiar faces. Besides the road you usually took to get back to the inn, you realized you actually did not know any other way back. Going through the main square was your only option for now.

Cautiously you looked out from the side street you were on to check who was there. It was still fairly early in the morning and almost no one was out yet, which was quite a relief. You moved quickly across, hoping your little hustle was not drawing too much attention and you made it just over half way across before you heard a familiar voice.

“Looks like someone had a good night” Bira teased.

You could have died of embarrassment right there.

“I’m just glad to see you didn’t spend all night writing notes” she laughed.

“Yeah” you laughed back awkwardly.

“So, anyone I would know?”

“I don’t think so” you lied.

She gave you a little shrug and a smile, “Well, hope you had some fun.”

As you turned you saw something that made your heart sink: Ba’tual walking towards the two of you. Quickly you started to walk off, hoping to not be too suspicious but you heard him call out to you.

“Hey, you left this at my place” he called out much too loudly for your liking and holding up a bracelet.

You looked back and forth between him and Bira and tried to brace for impact. You were one hundred percent certain that you had put on everything that was laid out by your clothes, you had no idea how you missed something.

“Him?” Bira practically spat at you, “You have a whole city to pick from and you picked him? That’s who you went home with?”

“Good morning to you too, Bira” he smiled, clearly enjoying the scene he was currently causing while he went to hand you the bracelet.

“I could have set you up with so many better choices!” Bira hissed at you as she snatched the bracelet from Ba’tual.

“She can’t help that she has good taste” he smirked.

“A whole city. A whole city! And you choose the guy who’s been pestering you nonstop?”

You did not know how to explain it, nor did you think Bira would actually care, but Ba’tual could actually be quite charming when he wanted to be. And besides, you had fun with him. It was not like you were looking for a relationship.

“Just because you don’t like me doesn’t mean that other people can’t like me” Ba’tual teased Bira.

“Fine, fine, make whatever poor decisions you want” she threw her hands up in defeat and sighed, “Just be careful, ok?”

“It’s fine, Bira. I’m an adult, I know what I’m doing” you assured her.

“And you” Bira snapped at Ba’tual, “don’t be such an asshole.”

“Oh but I think she likes it, she certainly seemed to like being pushed around last night” he smiled.

“Not another word” Bira warned him.

He smirked, “That’s fine, I have places to be anyways, but I’ll be seeing you later.”

“Really?” Bira asked you as Ba’tual walked off.

“I mean, it was really good” you shrugged.

Bira looked like she wanted to retch.

After getting back to the inn to wash up and change, the rest of the day went pretty smoothly at least. You headed back to the hold as you were supposed to meet with several of the huntsmasters from the minotaur clans that lived in the plains outside the city.

As you approached the hold you spotted Ba’tual in his typical spot outside, watching over two newer recruits as they sparred. He looked up as you passed and beckoned you over.

“Find me when you leave, I’ll be here all day” he told you.

You just nodded, fairly excited for whatever awaited later.

The day dragged on much longer than it should of. You found yourself struggling to write down everything the huntsmasters where telling you: important information about traveling routes for trading or following migrating animals, mostly just going in one ear and out the other. At the end of the day you smiled and nodded politely as you bid them farewell, kicking yourself for being distracted at such a vital time.

You quickly scanned the area outside the hold, the excitement building as you spotted Ba’tual sitting and leaning against one of the posts that lined the sparring area.

“Found you” you playfully called to get his attention.

“Great job” he snorted.

“Soooo” you began, “What’s the plan?”

“I’m starving, and could use a drink. Dealing with new recruits is draining.”

“Not a fan of being a teacher?”

“No. They all think they know better and then whine about unfair fights when sparring” he stood up and once more placed his hand under you chin to make you look up at him, “So I could could use a drink and some stress relief.”

You tailed behind him, somewhat struggling to keep up with his long strides as you made your way across town. The tavern he brought you to was one that you had never been to and you were the only human there. Ba’tual sat at the bar and and immediately started chatting in troll to the bartender. He smirked and nodded his head towards you and the bartender gave a laugh.

“What was that about?” you asked.

“Nothing, just ordering for us” he shrugged.

You were certain there was more to it, but it was not like you knew what he had said to prove anything so you dropped it.

The two of you made your way back to his place, a pleasant buzz in your head from the alcohol but less tipsy that then previous night at least. It was a short walk at least.

Ba’tual wasted no time once inside, immediately beginning to unlace his pants. “On your knees” he directed you, only barely glancing your way as he folded his pants and sat them aside.

You raised an eyebrow at him and remained standing.

“Please” he added with a clearly faked smile as he saw your facial expression, “And come over here.”

You knelt down between his legs next to where he sat on the bed and immediately he grabbed your hair and pulled your face right up against his cock. He was looking down at you expectantly, but did not say a word. You ran your tongue across his tip, lapping up the pre cum that had formed already. He groaned and tightened his grip on your hair, somewhat forcing his way into your mouth in his impatience.

Swirling your tongue around him got quite a response. He caught you off guard and bucked into your mouth, making you gag a bit and pull back. You looked up and shot him a dirty look, but he did not seem to care.

“Careful” you hissed at him.

“You can handle it” he shrugged.

“If you want me to blow you then don’t do that again.”

Cautiously you resumed, this time wrapping a hand around his base to hopefully keep him from shoving his cock down your throat. You started a steady rhythm of stroking him while you sucked on his tip and you felt his grip on your hair loosen as he relaxed.

Looking up at him, he really was quite a sight. When he was not being a pain the ass and kept his mouth shut he really was rather handsome.

You ran your free hand up his thigh and felt the taut muscle right under the skin, you had seen him sparring several times and knew he could absolutely manhandle you if he wanted. Slowly you moved your hand farther up his thigh until you were able to cup his balls, they hung heavy in your palm and you smile as you heard him moaning while you played with them.

He was leaning back on his elbow, eyes closed and taking deep breaths through parted lips.

“Fuck” he moaned, “That’s why he didn’t shut up about it.”

You snorted, you did not know what he was going on about, but it was almost charming in a way.

Slowly you took more of him into your mouth, enjoying how he tasted and smelled. He had been outside training recruits and sparring most of the day, giving him a strong, musky smell especially with your face between his legs and tasted of salt from the traces of sweat on his skin.

“Look at me” he directed you, though the commanding tone had all but dropped from his voice. Now it was almost a plea.

You looked up at him, though leaning back a bit he was watching you closely now, breathing heavily through parted lips.

“Spirits” he sighed, “You looked good with your lips around my cock.”

You held his eye contact and took more of him. At this point you were just at the edge of gagging if you went any farther and still it was only about half his length. You kept your tongue against the underside of his shaft, teasing him a bit as you slowly pulled back to see how he would react.

Quickly you felt his grip on your hair tighten again as he yanked you back towards him, though this time with your hand around him he did get deep enough to make you gag.

“Don’t” you warned him as you all but removed him from your mouth.

He gave you an almost pathetic whine, but released his grip on your hair entirely.

With your newfound freedom of movement you wrapped your other hand around him, working your mouth and hands in sync. He was nearly whimpering as you continued and you could hear soft words in troll falling from his lips.

As your pace increased so did his panting and ragged breathing to the point where he was nearly gasping as he finished. Spurts of thick, warm cum filled your mouth and quickly got to the point to overflowing and dribbling down your chin.

He reached down and wiped the cum off your chin with his finger before holding it to your lips.

You humored him, not only licking it off playfully sucking on his finger for a moment.

He let out a deep breath through his mouth before speaking, “Fuck” he sighed. “Really does live up to the hype.”

“Wait, have you never been blown before?” you asked in bewilderment.

“No? Have you seen troll tusks?”

“What about orcs or minotaur?”

“Look, we share a city and all get along, but not like that.”

“Then how’d you even know what it was?”

“My best friend is married to a human, you think he doesn’t tell me all about what he gets up to?”

“Fair” you conceded and you went stand up. You pressed yourself against him and began to kiss and nip along his neck.

“What are you doing?” he asked, almost sounding annoyed.

You did not know how to answer. It was obvious what you were doing: continuing.

“Aren’t we just getting started?” you asked, doing your best pouty, sultry voice.

“Wasn’t that enough?”

“No?” it was your turn to sound annoyed.

“Well, I’m tired. I’ve had a long day.”

“And I must be the only human you’ve had luck with, because while I’m not the only one in the city I must apparently be the only one willing to blow you” you fired back.

You saw his lip twitch as he scowled at you, clearly annoyed and doing his best to play nice. “Fine. If you’re going to be like that then give me a few minutes to catch my breath.”

[loveandleases]

THAT HOSPITAL ASK GAVE ME A NEW IDEA FOR CHRIS SUFFERING!! Would Chris and Jade have the nerve to visit MC in the hospital? How would they react to MC getting hurt and subsequently if they were thrown out, either by MC or the RO?

I had to think about this for a bit, and I keep coming back to thinking Chris would be more willing to visit than Jade. I spewed out the scenarios, left it vague on the Ro but below the cut ~

💀 Jade - There’s a part of Jade, buried deep, hidden behind her need to be the center of attention, that still cares about her sibling. How much, though, is anyone’s guess. When she hears MC is in the hospital, a wave of discomfort surges in her chest—not out of worry, but because her spotlight has shifted. Her parents' attention is no longer on her. Chris' focus is pulled away. She thinks MC is probably just making a mountain out of a molehill; they're probably not even that hurt. But still, she'd go—not just out of curiosity, but to play the role of the supportive sister, if only for appearances.

She barely steps into the room, but she can't even fully process what MC looks like—just the drip of the IV, the steady beep of the heart monitor. Before she can really take it in, the door is slammed shut in her face. Voices rise, then fall silent, and someone steps into the hallway before her.

"You need to leave before I call security and have your ass hauled out," they say, their tone firm, offering no space for argument.

Jade, however, doesn’t back down that easily. She scoffs and reaches for the door again, but this time, no one’s surprised when security is called. Her face flushes red with rage as she begins to berate them, trying to smack their hands away. Her feet stomp as if the force of it might make them relent. "You have no right to touch me, no right to tell me what I can or can’t do!"

She had suspected her actions would draw attention, but this? This wasn’t the attention she had bargained for.

💩 Chris - Kara's text was short—just four words, but they had Chris brushing off the clients in front of them and throwing on their coat. "MC's in the hospital." That was it. No explanation. No details. Just a curt statement, as if it wasn’t the most critical information Chris could ever receive.

Chris read it again, then again. Each time, their jaw tightened. Their first thought wasn’t concern. It was indignation. Why didn’t MC call me directly? Why didn’t the hospital call? Chris was still listed as their emergency contact, wasn't they?

Chris glanced at themselves in the mirror, ignoring the questions thrown their way as assistants rushed them out of the room. Their reflection showed no cracks, not a single sign of the tension they felt building in their chest. Hair in pristine condition. Shirt collar perfectly set. They needed to look their best when they saw MC… The thought of MC lying in that sterile hospital bed made Chris’ chest tighten—but not for the reason anyone would expect. It wasn’t fear for their well-being. It was the fact that Chris wasn’t there. That someone else was. Someone who didn’t know MC the way Chris did.

Is Kara there? Cam… God, Cam. That parasite would leap at the chance to play the hero. Is someone else pressing soft kisses to MC's forehead, whispering sweet nothings and telling them everything will be alright? Ugh, sickening.

Chris could picture it so clearly: Cam fumbling around, trying and failing to comfort MC with some idiotic joke. As if he had any right to be there. As if he had any right to hover over what was still theirs.

Clicking their tongue, Chris sneered. This was wrong. If MC was hurt, they needed Chris now more than ever. Not Kara. Not Cam. No one else. Chris had been the center of their world once, and deep down, they knew they still were.

MC needed Chris, whether they realized it or not. And so, there was no question. Chris would go.

Settling back in the leather seats of their car, Chris smirked. The driver sped toward the hospital. Already, Chris imagined the scene—MC’s eyes lighting up when they saw their former fiancé, stepping into the room to save the day. They'd remember then, wouldn't they? No one could care for them the way Chris could.

One last glance at their reflection, and Chris stepped into the hospital with a quiet, knowing smile. This wasn’t about helping MC. This was about reminding them—reminding everyone—who Chris was. The only one who truly mattered.

But when they opened the door to MC’s room, that look never came. The sterile smell of antiseptic hit Chris’ nose, sending a twitch of irritation through them. And then, standing in front of them, was someone blocking their way, their expression one of disdain.

"I suggest you move," Chris said, voice surprisingly calm. As if expecting anyone to bend at their will.

But they didn’t.

The person shoved Chris out of the doorway, slamming the door shut behind them. Security was called. They had the audacity to tell Chris to “fuck off.”

"I didn’t come here to see you," Chris snapped, pointing toward the door where MC lay. "I came here to see them."

"The only way you're getting near them is over my dead body," the person said, their tone cool but resolute. "And as you can see, I’m not dead yet."

Chris rolled their crystal blue eyes and brushed a hand through their blonde hair. "That can be arranged."

They seethed, gripping their palm so tight that the skin pulled, tearing slightly. The whispers of people in the hall faded into the background. Chris had a reputation to uphold. But it didn’t stop them from gritting their teeth, didn’t stop them from spewing out words that would only make things worse. They didn’t care. Not now. Not when MC was on the line.

[butterfly-ribbon]

the most immediate aspect of ena5 i keep coming back to is how ena lingers on how those boys asked if "she was a guy too." it comes up repeatedly throughout the event, her guilt about not knowing what to say, not reacting perfectly at the time, what she could have done differently, and most importantly how she can’t stop thinking about it – it’s exactly what mizuki hates, what she fears, because mizuki's wish was always for nothing between them to change—her wish is to not be treated in a different way from any other girl.

i think this makes sense in the context of ena feeling guilty, but it's also ena being cognizant of the fact that she can't help but fixate on the truth behind mizuki’s secret. internalized misogyny has always been a struggle for ena, despite how honest she is in her hatred of men (especially her father) – even though she clearly loves girls, that harm inflicted upon her, that victim-blaming and infantilization lead to an externalized self-loathing which she takes out on others almost in spite of herself.

ena's first focus event was about her feeling like she isn't a good enough artist for niigo and the trauma she has from her father telling her she isn't talented enough – quite literally him telling her she will never be good enough to do the one thing that fuels her existence.  her second one is fairly self-contained, less about niigo and more about her trying to go back to art class after running away, and once again dealing with the long-term effect of how her father dismissed her. her third is about learning to engage with mafuyu as a victim in productive ways and learning to recognize that her pain can coexist with mafuyu’s which is very important in the context of how ena reacted to finding out that mafuyu is suicidal despite being OWN. and then her fourth is her having the opportunity to see her father as a flawed person rather than the insurmountable idea of an Inherently Talented Artist. these four events have built up to that which she now has to recognize in the complex experience mizuki has with womanhood.

her fifth is also a very obvious parallel to the third, because while ena does very genuinely care for mafuyu and mizuki – she ends up projecting so much self-loathing and envy onto mafuyu, leaving mizuki in between to manage and deflect their emotions – even sometimes making subtle passive-aggressive remarks to get back at ena either because she can't risk fighting or expressing too much of herself and her own dissatisfaction because she would at the biggest disadvantage as the more vulnerable between the two. and when ena has to navigate speaking to mafuyu's mother, there is a recognition of how subtly insidious the woman is and how it both contrasts and parallels her experience with her father. it’s further meaningful because ena3 is about ena breaking the shell of her victim blaming mindset. the way ena treats mafuyu changes a lot from hereon, but what’s important is that isn't enough on its own. ena's growth isn't complete unless she learns to properly engage with mizuki, which she can only do by learning to engage her complex reality as a trans girl.

with that in mind, i really love to see ena acknowledging not just the way she fixates on the “what ifs” and “how she could've handled things differently” – it’s further how she fixates on mizuki's transness. what’s also even more important is that she acknowledges that this is what mizuki hates more than anything. she knows it isn't right of her. she doesn't want this because she doesn't want to hurt mizuki in the way she fears the most. this is through no fault of mizuki’s of course. after all, she doesn't deserve to have her transness fixated upon because that turns it into something inherently Other. that’s why i also like that they're willing to acknowledge that being outed and acceptance isn't simple. it can be complex and painful on both sides without it being something that decentralizes the person most affected (the trans girl, mizuki).

as much as mizuki wished she could just say it and keep going as though nothing changed this couldn't have happened either ... we live in a world where misogyny and transmisogyny are baked into everything ... it's vital for ena to engage with her own biases and prejudices when thinking about approaching mizuki because otherwise she can’t move forward with her. she can't just treat this as though it changes nothing about their dynamic because it absolutely does recontextualize so much … ena being a transmisogyny exempt girl holds fundamental privilege/power over mizuki, just like the prejudiced students do, so ena must tread the thorn-laden path, enduring pain, in order to reach mizuki and bathe her in the warmth of her light, because the pain of making mistakes and still pushing forward is worth everything.

this is ena’s turning point. it's ena talking to someone who knew mizuki back in middle school – the time when she was forced back into the closet – learning the extent of the loneliness she's always felt. she thinks back to the specific moment where student A is like "are you a guy too?" and then finally starts to understand the depth of the cruelty that mizuki has been subjected to. even if she can't truly imagine it (and while we're on this topic, i think this is yet another way the writing acknowledges that mizuki is not a boy and that this is abuse). it also isn't fair for ena to continue fixating on mizuki's transness in this way while wallowing in her own misery, since in doing so, she would be centering herself when the one who was the victim in that moment was mizuki herself.

ena might've messed up, but it wasn't out of bigotry or actual like... looking down on mizuki. she acted in a way that she ended up regretting in a very messy situation and i think that's meaningful too, because again she's done that in many situations with mafuyu and genuinely felt bad about it after the fact. ena is messy and her way of loving people ... she can be so ... rough sometimes, y'know? but she always shows a willingness to learn from her mistakes and interrogate her own behavior. even in my footprints, your destination she keeps pressuring mizuki to talk with her about her problems for most of the event and it's not out of any ill intent, but it's not a good approach because this kind of thing can easily veer into coercive territory and that's particularly traumatic in the context of a trans girl being forced to come out? ena obviously didn't mean anything bad by it because she didn't know or understand the gravity of what she was dealing with, and she was genuinely concerned for mizuki's well-being and wanted her to know that she has someone in her corner who's more than happy to hear her out, but she's also brash, demanding and hot headed so it was a good opportunity for her to see things from a different perspective, leading her to adopt a more patient and understanding approach for the first time? this event builds on this in an interesting way specifically because it isn't afraid to explore how a cis girl like ena needs to unpack her own biases before she's able to connect with mizuki again, but what makes this even better is that mizuki doesn't exist to fix her or make her a better person – mizuki makes ena want that herself. ena doesn't become a better person because mizuki acts like a manic pixie dream girl for her (if anything she constantly fails at this in ena's presence because her mask starts cracking around her a lot), but ena strives to better herself because she can see those cracks and she wants to provide mizuki with genuine support. she wants to be someone that mizuki can truly rely on and drop the facade around because she loves her so much.

mizuki is also being allowed a more mafuyu role here and i think that's compelling insofar as a deconstruction of mizuki's facade and how it's rooted in a fraught engagement with transfemininity in the history of anime and manga.

i also really love this because it’s a callback to the locked room from mizu5. once again, the reason ena finds mizuki is because she knows her better than anyone else. this time there are no boys to co-opt mizuki or interfere with both of them. she ended up avoiding going to school directly and this being the reason ena found her … it's like an answer arc to mizu5. the locked room of mizuki’s heart and how ena has the key to that, finally, after making effort to understand her. this could also be seen as a reference to the hermit cards and the lock upon mizuki’s heart.

[em-harlsnow]

i feel like people forget when they’re writing mickey that his issues with intimacy were not just internalised homophobia. obviously, internalised homophobia was a huge reason why he struggled with ian and coming to terms with loving him. but it’s not the only reason he was so scared of being close to him.

mandy and mickey are eerily similar people in my opinion. their abusive home means that both of them find the concept of someone caring about them unbelievable and ridiculous and fake because they never had care as kids. if mickey had no internalised homophobia, he would still probably not have kissed ian until season 3 in my opinion just from fear of intimacy and affection.

i don’t like when people seem to think internalised homophobia is the only thing going on. they act as if once mickey gets over that, or terry dies or something, that he’d just be totally fine with ian or a guy. i don’t think that’s true, because mandy clearly struggles with things like expressing emotions, people caring about her, people loving her (things u need in a relationship) and she doesn’t have any internalised homophobia (because she isn’t gay). I think mickey’s the same way.

In a way i think the struggles mickey has are slightly different because he’s a guy and men have the whole toxic masculinity ‘boys don’t cry’ issues, so i think mickey would probably struggle more with emotional connections and being open about feelings than Mandy (again, in a miracle world where internalised homophobia isn’t a thing). we even see that idea with how mandy tells lip she loves him much earlier than mickey.

i would be interested to see what mickey would be like without the internalised homophobia because he’d still have issues. He’s a victim of severe child abuse, he’s going to take more from that time than just ‘i hate myself because im gay’. i don’t like when people write him with that very narrow narrative, because there’s so much more stuff to explore in his character.

anyway, this was a huge ramble and i don’t know if it made much sense. i understand why people focus on the internalised homophobia, but in my opinion that’s not by any means the only thing he struggles with. i love fics that explore his issues beyond that.

[judgeanon]

So How About That Batgirl #3

I didn't transplant my review of #2 here because there wasn't that much more to say, especially in regards to Lady Shiva (which is always the most important part of any comic with her in it for me) but #3, hooo boy, there's a lot to talk about for this one.

It introduces, or maybe just expands, a concept that kinda had me feeling a bit nervous but eventually won me over, and still has room for some fun narrative trickery. So I'm gonna go ahead and post my full review of the issue down here:

Picking off where #2 left off, #3 starts with Shiva and Cass on a train heading out of Gotham to meet some allies in their fight against the unburied. And Cass is noooot happy about it.

These opening pages follow the same character dynamic we've seen so far, with Cass openly rejecting her mother's remarks while inwardly rejecting her mother in general -- her inner monologue constantly reassuring herself that Shiva is a lonely manipulative monster while Cass is a good person, clearly to try to chase away the guilt of leaving everyone behind. The desperation in Cass' inner voice to paint Shiva as an unredeemable monster is very palpable and very good in the face of everything that's happened so far.

But the next pages made me a little concerned, with Shiva berating Cass while goading her about her relation with the batfamily. And while we've seen Shiva take jabs at that before, notably in Hill's Outsiders, back then it felt more pointed (and a little meta, what with the whole "He won't even let you be Batgirl" thing), while here Shiva's comments on languages, while true in a way, felt more openly cruel. Bordering on villainous.

Had the issue stayed this way, I would've been very worried about this whole arc turning into yet another milquetoast "Evil bio mom, good found family" yarn. But then the track switches.

The lion's share of the issue is dedicated to introducing the survivors of the Order of Shiva, who have dedicated thier lives not to just worship the deadliest hands on Earth, but to study, learn & better themselves through her example. Which is an idea that could've gone very wrong. Personally? I think this is kinnnnnda neat. Mostly.

The thing is, I've never been a fan of Shiva having any kind of cult or organization built around her. I think it's the kind of stuff that can weigh her down and, at worst, just be used to make her more of a pure villain, like in Dixon's RICHAR DRAGON run. But in this issue, the idea slowly won me over with how Brombal uses it to explore two overlooked aspects of Shiva:

The first is that Shiva, at her best, tends to inspire others. Just by entering a person's life, Shiva, tends to change their perceptions of reality, of what's possible. When Shiva entered Vic's life, she indirectly got him to question a lot of things about how he viewed reality. Same with Dinah and, yes, Cass herself. And this order seems to be entirely built on that idea of Shiva as someone who makes people rethink everything (albeit with way more altruism than Shiva herself).

The other thing this whole scene explores is Shiva's dualities and seeming contradictions, her nature as both destroyer and restorer. Which is something I'm always happy to see, especially nowadays. But this is also where my one big problem with this issue lies: it pays a lot of lip service to Shiva as a healer without actually showing it.

A mention is made of Cass rejecting Shiva's help, but an actual moment of Shiva using her healing skills, to me, would've really helped support High Priest's Jayesh gushing praise of that dual nature.

Just a couple of panels of her doing some funky pressure point head massage, it's all I'm asking.

Beyond that, I do have one nitpick that's just about the one thing that keeps me from fully embracing this idea, and that's Shiva's level of involvement with the order. Jayesh drops a hint of how he met Shiva, and she seems to care at least a little for him and for the Order, but there's not a lot said about how much she helped them build and maintain it.

If they're all people who ran into her, had their minds opened and built an order around their idea of her, that's one thing. If she helped them build it then that's another. Her small moments of caring do seem to indicate she's also warmed up to them, which would suggest some relatively high involvement, which I don't really like. I'd much prefer the order being something that Shiva is aware of but keeps at arm's length, a bunch of well-intentioned groupies that, like the issue says, follow her example rather than her orders. The bottom line is that I don't like anything that Shiva seems to be too attached to, but even if she was, I'm still mostly OK with this idea.

Anyway, the final leg of the issue is dedicated to a very entertaining chase and fight across the rest of the train that's a delight to see. And while my copy's all digital, I imagine it's way better in paper. Miyazawa and Spicer clearly have a lot of fun with these pages and it continues the run's interesting dynamic of Cass and Shiva never being fully in sync during a fight, always fighting each other as much as whoever's all around them.

But apart from the action, the thing that rang a lot of bells for me was Cass' narration as it insists again that Shiva is nothing but a monster and that Cass is nothing like her, eventually flowing towards a very heroic list of all her family members and their core traits that's very nice and heartwarming... and desperate.

Because the narration in this scene all reads to me like Cass arguing with herself. It reads desperately like her trying to chase away the dual thoughts that her mother may not be a complete monster AND that she herself, Cass, really is a lot like her mother.

Hell, the scene is literally Cass running away from Shiva, punching through what she sees as undisputable proof of her mother's lies while checklisting the family she does want and love, physically and mentally fighting against even the possibility of Shiva being worthy of more than her disgust. It's not Cass rejecting Shiva for being evil, it's her trying to reject the evidence that she may have something resembling good in her.

So the whole thing takes a very heroic cliche, Cass naming all these loved one to give her strength, and turns into a flailing flurry of mental gymnastics from Cass to allow herself to keep rejecting Shiva, to maintain this inner image of her as a monster while refusing any connection with her. And it's all pretty compelling stuff.

The issue then ends with one final surprise as Cass runs into the rest of Shiva's allies: a resurrected Nyssa Al-Ghul, Angel Breaker and a brand new character we'll apparently learn more about next month. So yeah, this was an interesting issue. The pacing of the arc is still a bit slow, but with all the players (hopefully) at the table and three issues to go, I hope the rest of the arc will pick up steam and keep chugging along smoothly.

I wasn't expecting the Order of Shiva to get much more play after #1. I certainly wasn't expecting them to get expanded like this. And I definitely didn't expect it to win me over this much. Minor quibbles aside, I gotta give props to Brombal for the obvious thought he's put when laying down these tracks for Shiva, and I'm definitely in for the rest of the ride.

(then again, maybe I'm just being blinded by the intense relatability of my man Jayesh over here. I feel you, brother. Hope you survive this arc)

[silentsneezes]

Could you write a fic with an allergic Ja/yce having an itchy, desperate sneezing fit and has no idea what he’s allergic to and Vi/ktor is confused since Ja/yce never has fits

anon, i love the way your mind works, thank you so much for this prompt !!

i made v/iktor have the kink (as more of a self indulgence than anything else), but i’d be more than happy to write another version if this isn’t what you had in mind! there are a few mentions of mess/spray, but no graphic descriptions!

without further ado, here’s 1k of allergic, desperate j/ayce (no spoilers for s2)

The lab is usually filled with the melodious sounds of mechanical tinkering or pencil against paper, save for the days when power tools and accidental explosions are involved. Except today, Viktor’s focus is broken by something entirely different.

Jayce has been sniffling persistently for almost an hour, not frequently enough to warrant using his handkerchief apparently, but enough as to where Viktor finds himself thoroughly distracted. Of course, his attraction to sneezing doesn’t help in the matter, but he’s certain anyone would be distracted by Jayce’s constant sniffles.

Viktor has been keeping a close eye on him, initially hypothesizing that Jayce is sick. After all, he has no allergies— that he knows of— and he doesn’t generally have an irritable or sensitive nose, not unless he’s ill.

Before long, Viktor finds himself spending more time watching Jayce than he is observing the hex core in front of him. His eyes flicker to Jayce as he hears an especially wet sniffle, his chest fluttering as Jayce takes a finger to his nose, rubbing it harshly.

Jayce continues berating the appendage as his nostrils flare, pressing two fingers to the base of his nose and rubbing them side to side. Apparently, the movement only encourages the itch, resulting in a sudden, spraying “hhHDTSHCHh!”

“Bless you,” Viktor hums, walking over to sit beside Jayce’s desk. He’s had enough of just watching his partner; he craves more.

He props his crutch against the table, placing a hand on Jayce’s knee, “Something bothering you?”

“I might need- hh- to step- heh… hh- eh’hhH- step out forhhh- for a- hhHRSHCHhew- a se-hh-second” Jayce stutters through hitching breaths, the tickle evidently getting much worse.

“And why is that, love?” Viktor purrs, knowing he’ll elicit another desperately hitchy response from his partner.

“I d-hh- don’t- hhHNDSXHCHh! know what’s- hh- what- hhhH- nghh… what’s- hh- hhHNGSXHCHh! makihhHng me itch-“ Jayce tries to speak through his hitching breaths and sneezes, sounding arousingly pathetic. His nose is twitching, his nostrils glistening with a sheen of mess.

Viktor continues to listen to Jayce, trying to hold back a smirk. He finds it almost irresistible how pitiful Jayce sounds, his stomach swirling with hot affection.

"Is that so...?" He prompts, trying to get Jayce to finish his sentence as he slowly runs his hand from Jayce’s knee to his inner thigh, clearly enjoying the sudden allergic onslaught.

“It’s- hh- it’s r-hh-really-hheh’HNGSXCHh’uh- hhhih’ih’GKSZCHHhh!”

Viktor’s smirk grows, "I can't understand you like that, love. Try again.”

Jayce practically whines in response. Despite the whine, he leans closer to Viktor, always craving his physical affection.

“hhHHRSDHCHh!” Jayce’s shoulders shudder with the force of the sneeze, barely managing a ragged gasp before a second, “hhHNGSZXHCHh!”

Viktor swallows, his hand tightening its hold on Jayce’s thigh. He’s never seen Jayce react like this, nor did he expect Jayce to have any allergies.

“What’s gotten into you, Милая,” he hums, using his other hand to tilt Jayce’s chin up. He tuts quietly, brushing his thumb over Jayce’s upper lip, “you’re making a mess.”

Jayce blushes crimson, sniffling against the moisture clinging to his nostrils. His eyes are dewy and irritated, clearly in the throws of an allergic reaction.

“I’ve- hh- I’ve never… snf- God- snf- never reacted like- hh… heh- thhhis before,” Jayce says sheepishly, “I don’t even know what- hh- what’s- hhH- fuck- hhHH-.”

Viktor watches with rapt attention as Jayce’s chest swells with each hitching breath. He keeps a firm hold on Jayce’s chin, not allowing him to pull away even as his hitches.

“hhHNGSXHCHh! hhHRHSCHhhew- hhhH- hhhughh- hhHKTSHXHh’uh!”

Viktor swallows as Jayce sprays the triple against his hand, once again wiping the mess from his upper lip, “Bless you,” he purrs, replaying the sounds of Jayce’s sneezes in his mind.

Jayce is rarely one to have fits, save for when he’s especially sick or indulges in Viktor’s kink and induces. Even then, fits like this are hard to come by, let alone naturally.

Jayce sniffles wetly against his streaming nose, letting out a small, itchy cough, “why- hhH- hh… heh- snNFF- hhhhHGDXHCHhhew!”

Viktor’s eyes flick from Jayce’s pink, flaring nostrils to his teary red-rimmed eyes, “you’re definitely having an allergic reaction.”

“But I don’t h-hh-have allerghh-hhH’RRSZXChh! snf- allergies,” Jayce practically whines, his shoulders slumped in defeat as his nose continues twitching.

“Evidently, you do,” Viktor states, letting his hand shift up to cup Jayce’s forehead, just as a precaution, “No fever.”

Jayce fumbles to grab his handkerchief again, his breath hitching into a quick, desperate series of gasps. Viktor’s grip tightens on Jayce’s thigh again, practically purring at the sight of his partner’s desperation.

“Don’t hold back,” he prompts as the hitching continues, watching as Jayce’s reddened nostrils flare desperately. His hitches are intermixed with whines as he builds up to another spraying, “hhH’ESXCHhhh’ugh!”

“Bless y-,” Viktor starts, only to be interrupted with an urgent double, the second sneeze practically tumbling out on top of the first, “hhHGSZHCHh-hHHDSXHHhew!”

Viktor lets his hand travel further up Jayce’s thigh, palming the bulge in his pants as he murmurs, “Bless you.”

Jayce moans at the touch, his hips bucking against Viktor’s hand without second thought. Viktor tuts quietly, “So needy,” as his other hand moves to hold Jayce’s chin again, “what do you say we call it a night?”

Jayce nods, eager to go home and receive Viktor’s attention, “Y-hh-Yeah. I won’t be- hhH- heh- product-hhHNGXCHhh! snf- productive- hhHDSXHCHh’uh! snf- here anywhhhH- hhHh- anyways.”

And with that, the couple takes their leave, Viktor leading Jayce back to his room in the academy. He murmurs quiet blessings the entire way, feeling his stomach churn with hot arousal as Jayce desperately tries to stifle in the halls; pathetic, wet “hhHGGSZXt’SHCHhuh!”s slipping through the fingers failing to pinchhis nose shut.

The End (for now, though I’m tempted to continue this…)

sorry for any spelling or grammatical errors, i wanted to get this posted so i didn’t do a thorough read through

as always, any comments or tags left are very much appreciated !! they inspire me to keep writing

[retiredkat]

5 Ways The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon can improve in season 3 Dawn Glen6 hours ago

When The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon - The Book of Carol (the second season of The Walking Dead spinoff) previewed at SDCC last July, it was announced that a third season had been commissioned and would be set in Spain, all before season 2 had even aired. AMC clearly had such faith in the show that it was willing to commit to the third season without gauging the reaction to the second. Unfortunately, while some aspects of The Book of Carol received universal praise — largely the return of Melissa McBride as one-woman-cyclone Carol — the overall reviews for the show were mixed, and ratings were far from stellar.

It follows, then, that AMC will be looking closely at the show and potentially reconfiguring and reacting to the criticism. Star and executive producer Norman Reedus has repeatedly spoken about how the original idea for the show was a roadshow with Carol and Daryl travelling around and helping people they meet before moving on. He has also said that season 3 will be closer to this initial idea, with showrunner David Zabel labelling the series “an anthology of sorts.”

With the show moving on from France, it has a clean slate. What else should the show be looking to change in order to improve and garner greater audience positivity going forward, making it the solid hit it could be?

1) No more children

On The Walking Dead, Carol and Daryl occasionally found themselves taking on surrogate children, to varying degrees of success. Carol infamously suffered tremendously after losing her biological child Sophia and also took on some of her own: Mika and Lizzie at the prison, and Henry, the son she shared with Ezekiel. Every one of those children died in a hugely traumatic way, scarring Carol irreparably. And though it has made her guarded and — as some may see it — harsh in her interactions with children, still youngsters are thrust upon her, twisting the knife in her child-shaped wound, as she lives in constant terror of failing them.

As for Daryl, he's part a part of Rick's daughter Judith’s life since birth, giving her the nickname Little Ass Kicker. He’s also bonded with Beth, Lydia, and become a surrogate father for Judith and her little brother RJ after Rick’s disappearance. Then there's Laurent, the proto-Messiah who was the centre of the first two seasons of the show, and the reason Daryl stayed in France.

By now, we get it. Carol is drawn to but scared of kids. Daryl sees himself in every abandoned child, which triggers his hero complex. They want to save every kid, but we’ve been through every iteration of it. We've experienced every kind of parent/child relationship with Carol and Daryl. Anymore would be a retread. Let the title of The Book of Carol’s finale stay true: "Au Revoir les Enfants," which translates to, "Goodbye Children.” Let Carol heal and Daryl grow, without thrusting another child under their wings.

2) Make walkers the central threat

When the French location for the spinoff was announced, many fans were looking forward to exploring the origins of the zombie virus, thanks to the Fear the Walking Dead coda which showed French scientists discussing the virus. In the end, this topic was not touched on at all in Daryl Dixon. We saw Genet doing experiments on walkers, leading to some of the walker variations and the super-charged walkers who dominated the second season, but not the genesis of the French walker research.

As disappointing as that was for some, even if we give up hope of finding out the origins of the walkers, it doesn't mean we should give up on the idea of walkers being more central to the plot. The first two season of The Walking Dead were undoubtedly had the most terrifying, heart-in-mouth episodes of the show, and they didn't feature any overreaching, human threat. While “humans are the real enemy” is a sound premise, we have worn through every variation of evil megalomaniac, religious zealot, and misguided weakling leader storyline in the flagship show. Perhaps it’s time to return to something more primitive, with a focus on the brutality of basic survival?

It would be an ideal use of the brand new locations to highlight that when you have no knowledge of the terrain or facilities round the corner, your life is even more on the line than it would be in the well-trodden woods of Georgia. What if the lake you wash in has hundreds of walkers resting on the bottom? What if the hill you are standing on is actually a mound of walkers overgrown with grass? Making walkers an environmental hazard and focusing on the unpredictability of encountering them when you least expect it heightens the jeopardy for even seasoned walker hunters like Carol and Daryl.

3) Bring back the real Daryl Dixon

The biggest issue The Book of Carol had is that it seemed to forget why it’s title character is such a fan favourite. A man who has been defined by his loyalty and tenacity in the 11 seasons of the main show suddenly lost those qualities and became a shadow of the fan favourite he was. Having Daryl Dixon — who lived in the woods for six years, refusing to give up hope of finding Rick; who withheld Negan’s torture and abuse; who showed no interest in romance in 10 seasons, preferring to focus on his found family — emotionally abandon his American family and consider staying with a new French one in a matter of weeks is wildly out of character.

And it’s not surprising given that showrunner Zabel and Reedus could not seem to agree on Daryl’s motivation, with Reedus resisting the idea that Daryl had felt love for the French characters. Was Daryl resentful that Laurent showed up on the beach in the season 1 finale, or was it an active choice he made to choose Laurent and Isabelle as his family? The answer changes depending who you ask, and when. The Daryl that fans know and love would not reconsider where he belonged and who he loved after such a short time away. He wouldn't be saying that his connection to Laurent is more significant and "different" to his connection to Judith, who he has lived with for 12 years. Nor would he embark on a romantic relationship with a nun he barely knew (and who compared him to his abusive father), after a matter of weeks.

A cohesion must be found with the creatives on who Daryl is and what motivates him. He is — and should be — the man who will always put others needs before his own. But he is also a man who never, ever forgets who he is and what he stands for. Season 3 needs to embrace the Daryl fans remember and show that he remembers his family back home.

4) Embrace the show's history

One of the most successful aspects of The Book of Carol was the exploration of Carol’s grief over the loss of her daughter Sophia. It was rewarding for long-time fans to see the call backs to this pivotal moment, and emotional to see Carol be allowed to work through it on screen.

One of the issues with the later seasons of The Walking Dead was the large cast, which meant huge impactful emotional stories often got pushed aside to deal with the next big event or action-packed twist. Daryl Dixon’s smaller cast means that imbalance can be righted, and allows room for greater intimacy between the audience and the two leads. It is an excellent opportunity for the audience to be allowed to truly sit with Carol and Daryl as they grow through life. They have a chance to stop, breathe and talk through the many traumas they have experienced.

It would be wonderful to have Daryl talk about losing his brother Merle; about what Rick’s acceptance meant to him; about what kept him going during his torture and time at Negan’s Sanctuary; about his guilt over Glenn’s death. And many fans would love to see Carol talk more about losing Sophia and Henry; about having to kill Lizzie; about her marriage to Ezekiel and why it fell apart. It would be particularly effective to have Carol and Daryl address issues that exist between them, from Carol’s repeated attempts to run away to their fight in Leah’s cabin from season 10. Their long history is the meat that makes their relationship so juicy and multi-layered, so it's odd that much of their interactions could be between people who just met. Zabel and the other writers should be exploiting that history to create depth to their relationship, and add layers to their interactions with the new people they meet.

5) Decide on the nature of Carol and Daryl's Relationship

This is, without doubt, the most talked about subject when it comes to Carol and Daryl: whether they are, or should be, romantically involved. And it may seem as though this question has been answered; after all, David Zabel has made clear that he believes Carol and Daryl’s relationship is purely platonic. Despite this, several scenes in Daryl Dixon seemed to allude to something else. In season 1, Antoine (the pigeon man) suggests that Daryl had a girlfriend back home who waited for him. And half of Episode 4 of The Book of Carol focused on the pair's time with an elderly couple, Didi and Theo. It was very clear that the show was pointing to the older couple as a parallel to Carol and Daryl. It's implied that Didi could see they were in love, and Theo called the pair as “like an old married couple.” If we are to see them as purely platonic, why dive into those kinds of themes? It only creates confusion among the fans.

Even Carol’s reaction to Daryl’s romance with Isabelle creates muddiness about the nature of their connection. Carol was shown to be hurt and troubled by the depth and speed of their relationship. If her feelings were only friendly why would Carol not be overjoyed that her best friend finding someone? And why was Daryl repeatedly playing down his relationship with Isabelle to Carol, and reassuring her he was always coming home to her?

Carol and Daryl have been described as sharing one soul, and as each other’s “home.” In Reedus’ words, Carol is “the one person in the world he needs.” If Carol and Daryl will always chose each other over everyone else, how does a partner get a look in? Outside romances are a pointless waste of time as Carol and Daryl will inevitably move on, or the new love interest will die. Stating that they are each other's home, and having Daryl declare they will always stay together, leaves no room for another love, and means their only true happy ending could be with each other. If their home is each other, then that’s clearly where their happy ending lies.

So if we are to believe they are just family to each other, then the idea of their shared soul and need to be with each other has to be dropped (along with allusions to them as married couple) for a more believable, looser dynamic that leaves space for outside love interests. Otherwise, anyone who comes into their orbit will face the same fate as Isabelle.

And either way, stop having Daryl simply not answer questions posed to him as a way to avoid committing one way or another to his feelings. It's a ploy that was used in the flagship show and spinoff multiple times — "Would you settle (down)?" "Why not Connie?" "Have you ever been in love?" "You loved her?" It's a lazy, cheap way to allow the audience to believe whichever answer suits them, but which leaves Daryl's characterisation shapeless and turbid. The character deserves to have a rich and open exploration of love without the show hedging its bets for fear of dividing the already unhappy audience.

[alilobsessive]

Hi!! Crypted reader has been in my head for days could we please see more of them

But of course! Admittedly, I don’t have much of an idea for a plot. So have some Justice Leaguers meeting Reader!

Superman had actually first met Reader as Clark Kent long before the Justice League was even a blip in the eyes of the trinity. You were a small child back then, hyperactive to the point it was maddening to most people, with an active imagination to boot. The small child had been talking to him nonstop, spouting out whatever came from your tiny mind. There wasn’t anything strange about what you were saying, until suddenly you said “Hey check out what I can do!” And Bruce Wayne, who was standing right behind him with a small smile as he listened to he child’s rambling, face contorted into that of horror. “Please we talked about this” he practically bagged, Clark mentally prepared himself for a child to innocently do something inappropriate. But instead what he got was a little unsettling. Something, shifted in the kids eyes, then stance, the child was clearly human, just mimicked something that wasn’t. They were damn good at it too, the kid didn’t even make a sound as they got on all fours and dashed off. “Not again!” Bruce yelped, running after the child.

Diana on the other hand didn’t even know Reader was Bruce's child when they first met. She was giving a museum tour and Reader was in it, the 11 year old was strange. Not strange in the way typical strange kids are, strange in every bone in her body was screaming this kid wasn’t human. They didn’t seem to be a threat, they never appeared to be at first. She kept a close eye on the child, watching them slink around with the rest of the group, tilting their head at odd angles as they looked at the artifacts on display. Whatever they are, they're bad at pretending they're human. It wasn’t uncommon for supernatural creatures to take the forms of humans for whatever reason, the form of a young child was no exception. Even after the child left, having not revealed their true form Diana stood on high alert. Even when they didn’t come back to steal, she was on edge for weeks.

Zatanna met Reader briefly, it was simple, do a magic sensing test for Batman. Just a simple favor, she was expecting a villain that he couldn’t tell if was using magic or just highly skilled. It happened from time to time. But instead it was a child, his child, and ya she got it. Kid had the exact same crypted tendencies as their Father. Admittedly if she didn’t know Batman better she would think he was a magical entity. Her dad made sure to snip that in the bud that’s for sure! But after a few quick tests it was confirmed that no there just like that. Yes Bruce, she did triple and quadruple checked each test to make sure they weren’t possessed, part magical creature, or any other magic related shenanigans going on with them. Kids just weird like their dear ol’ dad.

Flash had the shortest interaction with Reader, it only lasted a few minutes. It was during an invasion, everyone was fighting, “FLASH! CATCH” Nightwing screamed. He quickly turned to the other man and quickly caught what was thrown at him. Well more like who, a teenager started up at him unblinking. “Shit- okay- evacuation time-“ he said only to be hissed at and the teenager to start scratching his face. He ran anyway, wouldn’t be the first time, or the last that he’s attacked by a reluctant to leave civilian for one reason or another. Once they were a safe distance away Flash stopped and put them with the rest of the rescued civilians. Said civilian leaped out of his arms and hissed at him then ran into the crowd on all fours. Before he could even begin to understand what just happened, he had to run back to the fray. The strange incident completely out of his mind.

Booster Gold was just minding his own damn business in the watchtower one day, when Reader took one look at him and went “I’m gonna mess with that”. It started simple, moving objects from one spot to another when he wasn’t looking, pushing around furniture and knocking glasses off of tables. He felt eyes burning into his back with every step he took. Then Reader started letting him catch glimpses of them, of their shadow or of them turning a corner only to not be there. No one believed him when Booster tried to tell them about the strange spirit following him. Which is bullshit! They literally work with an actual goddamn ghost! The only one who did believe them was Blue Beetle, the second not the third. After almost a week of this Reader started to kind of feel bad for terrorizing this man. It was clearly making him anxious and a little paranoid, so they officially revealed themselves not just to him but to the rest of the justice league. Which was a shock to Batman because he did not know Reader was on the ship! How did they even get there??

[peekofhistory]

You said about buying their own hanfu in one of the last asks. Is it really ok for non chinese people to buy it?

Where I live we are usually so preoccupied with cultural appropriation that I'm afraid to somehow cross the line.

Omg, thank you for asking this question, it's a really, really good one (I live in Canada and this is also an issue that pops up here).

In the daily life world, what I would recommend is do what feels safest for you. I know some people can take this sort of stuff to extremes, so protect yourself first. If you feel that wearing Hanfu as a non-Chinese person is going to get you attacked (in person, online, anywhere) then it might not be the best idea.

If you're just buying and not wearing out, buy away~!! No one knows what you have in your closet. Or you can always wear it around the house or in your backyard. You can also kind of..."take it apart". Like, wear a Hanfu top with some dress pants, or a Hanfu skirt with a regular blouse. You're less likely to attract attention that way.

In my own, personal opinion, though, I honestly have no issues at all with anyone wearing Hanfu on 2 conditions: It's not worn to mock or bash the culture. It's not worn with the intention to claim ownership of the garment.

I don't care if you wear it solely because it's pretty clothes, I don't care if you love Chinese history and culture and have a PhD in it and Hanfu is part of the package, I don't even care if you just happen to want to wear it for Halloween, as long as there's no malicious intent behind it I personally have no problems at all.

If you actually come to China and wear Hanfu, I can guarantee (yes, guarantee) that NO Chinese person will attack you for cultural appropriation. In fact, the opposite is MUCH more likely to happen in that Chinese people (in China) will LOVE that you are wearing Hanfu. That you show interest in our culture and history, that's very exciting!

I lived in Japan for several years for work and I wore kimonos once in a while there. My Japanese friends and colleagues had no issues with it, in fact they LOVED it (one of them even gave me a kimono from her family's collection). While traveling around I saw lots of non-Japanese people going to professional kimono studios to get done up and then visit tourist sites for photos, no one gave them any issues, no whispers, no side eyes, nothing but excitement to see visitors enjoying and participating in their culture.

I also used to like Lolita fashion, which is inspired by European historical clothing. No one in Canada had an issue with me wearing that sort of thing, even though my physical appearance is clearly not from Europe. If I ever go to Versailles, I plan on a full Marie Antoinette dress and hair and I'll stomp anyone who tries to tell me I can't.

It's fascinating to me that most people actually living IN the country of question don't see others enjoying their culture as a negative thing. In fact they generally are more than happy to share because it feels GOOD that others want to learn about your country. (And by "most people" I'm talking 99.999999%, I'm only leaving 0.0000001% possibility because China has a lot of people so maaaaaaaaybe you miiiiiiiiiight find one person who has an issue if you interview EVERYone)

I feel like the word "appropriation" needs to be better defined to those who are either: a) Trying to claim something not belonging to their culture is theirs b) Mocking or ridiculing another culture

I had a really sad experience once where one of my good friends and I were shopping in an Asian mall together. She's a brunette, Caucasian. She saw a qipao store (those Chinese form-fitting dresses) and admired how pretty the dresses in the display were so I said why don't we go in and try some on. She said she can't because she's afraid she'll get accused of cultural appropriation (much like yourself). I was SO incredibly sad when she said that, I honestly wanted to cry.

I WANT to share my culture with my friends and others around the world, I WANT people to come and participate in it. But I also understood that with the political atmosphere being what it is, she wasn't comfortable wearing it.

Sometimes it feels like there's a bunch of people who aren't actually interested in our culture, never been to China, never cracked open a book about China, never learned anything about China except maybe what's on the news, very gun-ho to gatekeep who gets to enjoy our culture FOR us (I won't speak for cultures I haven't explored, but I got a similar sense while living in Japan). They mean well, but...I do wish it could be more nuanced so that not everyone simply trying to learn and enjoy a culture outside of their DNA gets attacked.

Then there's my group who have "Chinese" DNA but were either born abroad or grew up abroad most of their life (technically there's no "Chinese" DNA, Chinese is not an ethnic group, but you get the idea). We've been exposed mainly to the political atmosphere outside, but our reaction to this issue splits.

Some are like me, we're happy to share, we're happy to see others enjoying Hanfu, buying it, wearing it, learning about it, etc.

Some will react to this issue similarly as those who attack anyone and everyone who tries to wear something not in their own culture. I find this group scarier because, to a completely non-Chinese person, this group seems to hold a lot of authority on the topic. They have a DNA connection to China, surely they get the final say in whether or not non-Chinese people should be "allowed" to wear Chinese traditional wear. But again, there's no nuance at all. I once saw someone from this group attack a Caucasian woman on Twitter for wearing chopsticks in their hair. Like...??????????????? Who...CARES???? Either they simply liked the look or just wanted the hair out of their face, who CARES. They weren't mocking China or Chinese culture, they weren't claiming sticks in hair was an idea they invented, like...seriously. Then anyone in the comments who said it wasn't a big deal this person would pull the "I'm Chinese" card, but when I checked her profile she left China before she was 4. Yes, she's technically "Chinese" but just how much authority should she hold telling others who gets to participate in Chinese culture?

And honestly, if we're being really, reeeeeeeeeally strict about who "gets" to enjoy Hanfu... "Han" is an ethnic group in China (95% of the population), "Hanfu" means the clothing of the Han ethnic group. I'm 1/8 Mongolian (on my mom's side someone married a Mongolian wife), does that mean I also can't wear Hanfu? Or I get to enjoy 7/8 of Hanfu?? Like...do we have to start doing DNA tests before enjoying cultures? xDD

Anyway, that's my giant, long take on the topic. Congrats if you read all of it ^^;;

You can always come to China (I'm here on a visit :D) and we can wear Hanfu together~ A non-Chinese person wearing Hanfu out would be a star at all the sites, you'll get random people asking you for photos (I get non-Chinese visitors asking me for photos when I wear Hanfu out in China, you'll get all the Chinese people asking you for photos xDD)

Look at these lovely visitors enjoying their trips to China wearing Hanfu :D

[ladyloveandjustice]

Fall 2024 Anime Overview: Acro Trip

Premise: Chizuko is a huge fan of her local  magical girl, Berry Blossom. The magical girl’s arch-nemesis is a villain named Chrome, but he’s…incredibly pathetic. He’s hardly a challenge for Berry Blossom, and Chizuko is disappointed because this means her hero doesn’t really get a chance to show her stuff. She has a lot of ideas on how Chrome could be a more effective villain, and he overhears her talking about some of them. Now he’s trying  to recruit her for his evil organization, saying that if she helps him, it will mean cooler fights for Berry Blossom that will make her rise in popularity. What’s a fangirl to do?

Acro Trip is a lot of fun, and I recommend it to any magical girl enjoyer. I also recommend it to anyone who loves pathetic failguys, because my man Chrome is the most hilariously pathetic of them all. You like bad boys? Well this man is literally bad at everything.

He’s incredibly endearing—his idea of  “evil” is flipping restaurant maps or littering, he trembles pitifully when a middle school girl hits him with an umbrella, he fucks up in every way possible. At the same time, he’s a sweetheart who clearly takes his responsibility to be a good “mentor” to Chizuko very seriously and cares about her a lot. The show loves him and so do I.

 But wait! Girl failures have their rep too!

Chizuko is incredibly relatable to all of us magical girl fangirls, and her matter-of-fact way of dealing with things bounces off Chrome's himbo antic well. She has her fair share of failgirl moments herself, usually caused by her…well, it definitely seems like it's her crush on Berry Blossom.

We’ve been there, girl. I do feel Chrome gets a little more of a spotlight than her, but we also get to see her actually develop, going from refusing to get involved with Chrome to embracing her power.

Meanwhile, one of my favorite running gags is Chizuko's sweet lil’ grandfather who just rolls with every weird thing that happens and is way too excited to engage in criminal activity.

Berry Blossom herself is actually almost as big a dummy as Chrome is, with her mascot being the one who has to keep her on task. The classic dynamic! I do wish there was more to her, but I’ll discuss that later.

I felt a little concerned when it was confirmed Berry Blossom was a teenager and that Chrome was…probably in his mid-to-late twenties, because in the first episode there was a part where Chizuko seemed to think he was in love with Berry Blossom, and he was also very clear he was a masochist who is, uh, blissful when he gets punched in the face by Berry. However, the show immediately drops this. The idea of Chrome being in love with Berry Blossom never comes up again, and in fact it’s made clear he isn’t, as he repeatedly is more focused on being a good surrogate big brother to his “apprentice” over her. The masochism is mostly dropped too. On the other hand, Berry Blossom does seem to be developing a crush on Chrome, which makes me wary, but thankfully it’s extremely one sided right now. He’s completely oblivious to this, clearly doesn’t think of her that way, and it’s built on her constantly misunderstanding him requesting gifts to cheer up Chizuko (like her autograph).

It's not exactly a perfect show though,. As fun as it is, not all the gags hit, some side characters kind of dull, and my enthusiasm waned a bit as the series went on. The animation is…pretty rough. This anime clearly did not have a lot of resources allocated to it.

There’s also a bit of missed potential. It takes Chizuko way too long to get in the action, Chrome’s backstory would probably be more effective if his “rival” was a little more complex and sympathetic, there’s an interesting part in the finale where Berry Blossom mentions she doesn’t really have interests or hobbies and her mascot gave her purpose and then that’s just…brushed aside. Like how is it she doesn’t have any interests? She lives alone too, is she like, depressed? It feels like a major thing for her to say, and something Chrome should acknowledge but it’s like. "Well fight for your fans! They love you”. Perhaps it gets addressed in the manga or an (unlikely) season 2, but it sort of felt like the show wasn’t putting any thought into this heavy, kind of sad character detail they introduced. Whenever the show attempts to give its characters some depth and pathos it always seems a little half hearted.

The finale also set up a really dramatic conflict where various truths come out, and then just. Undid it all immediately. One of my least favorite tropes. There was obviously more manga left, but it really felt like the season just came to a stop rather than ended in a satisfying way.

However, the show succeeds at it’s main purpose- it’s a cozy good time for those who enjoy goofy, incompetent villains and goofy, incompetent magical girls. It’s a very sweet, silly, and occasionally funny show. Don’t go into expecting anything deep, but you can certainly have fun with it.

I implore you to give it a shot, because it’s fantastic that the lazy dark and edgy Madoka ripoffs are finally dying off, and we’re getting more variety again. We’re finally getting magical girl shows with fun premises, ones that aren’t reboots or Precure! So if you care about the genre at all, it’s so important to support them!

[watchingsunrises]

Zayn lyrics analysis - Grateful and The Time

As promised some lyric analysis from Room Under the Stairs. Still can't stop listening to these songs or album.

Some points to make clear first for context. The narrative set up for this album was a big fake mess and in reality did not align to the lyrics and what Zayn tells us in his music or interviews if you pay attention. The narrative set was he'd been writing the album for 6 years, it was about his relationship of that period and it was also about his daughter.

First the timeline makes no sense, we are meant to believe that this album covers the period of 2017 to 2023??!! Please Zayn released 3 full albums in that time period. Most artists write in their current context they rarely hold on to songs for 6 years. If they are good they want them on that current album. Also the songs on this album all reflect significant personal growth, emotional intelligence, maturity, possibly some therapy, reframing of his life including on his past in 1D. Its clear those are more recent changes that usually come with age or significant life changes or overcoming challenges. So the narrative on the timeframe was all bullshit. Its likely he wrote this album in 2022 to 2023. A period where he was publically single. The narrative was used to cover the many love/long term partner related songs on the album. Hello, Stardust. 

Secondly Zayn made it clear in a few interviews that he is really fast at putting his music together. He literally said he can put an entire song down start to finish in 2 to 3 hours. Don't think he needed 6 years to put this album together. 

The other gem Zayn gave us in interviews was the in hindsight, I don't think I've ever been in love before. Thank you Zayn, if people pay attention he made it pretty clear he isn't writing any love songs about his former public relationships. Yet the album has multiple love related songs. Again, hence the bullshit narrative.

Thirdly, the narrative the album was about his daughter. I mean she was 2 to 3 when this album was written. He makes it clear even where there is a stunt line or two that he is talking to an adult, telling them deep things, doing things they shouldn't do, lying for them etc. Nothing speaks about a toddler here at all. Not once. I have a child only a few years older, there's no sign of a child in these lyrics. 

With that in mind I wanted to analyse two of my favourite songs, as a start. Really powerful songs and vocals. Songs that are deeply personal to me, I understand and relate to the themes of gratitude and time deeply. I believe Zayn relates to them from similar life experiences. Songs I fully believe would have been originally part of the tour. Songs in the context of losing Liam, would be impossible to sing live. Hence the tour including a whole bunch of B sides from the album. 

Grateful

I see your mother’s shine in your eye

I know that you’re mine and I'm cryin'

Tellin' you the things that are on my mind

When I think of you

This is a classic stunt line used to set up the idea the song is about his daughter who he is grateful for. If you pay attention to the third line he is telling things to this person that are on his mind. He is not telling a then 2 or 3 year old all the things on his mind. He is talking about another adult here, his love, his person. He's also not talking about Gigi here, they were broken up when the album was really written, plus he never loved her, remember. The rest of the song is also talking about the ups and downs in life and his relationship. A relationship he's still clearly in, there's no past tense. With that in mind let's revisit the first two lines and how intimate and beautiful they really are. He is telling his person, his love, that their eyes share the same shine as their mother. Ugh my heart. Zayn is the softest, most romantic. That he knows this person is his person in life and knowing he's met his person makes him cry. Cry from happiness and gratitude. And if you believe his person, his love is Liam then this song already just stunning that this is how his love feels to him. Now it's just even more beautiful and gut wrenching and no wonder he couldn't sing it live on tour, even though it's such a sing a long style song and I fully believe he would have intended to sing it on tour. 

Yeah, I'm grateful for you

Love it when the rain comes down

Love it when the waves calm down

Yeah, I'm grateful for you

He is just so content and happy to have found his person in life. The rains can come down on them individually or as a couple, they know they can get through and things always calm down eventually. He is just grateful. Again gut wrenching now. I can barely contemplate how these songs have changed for Zayn. 

These days I live to my depiction

Nowadays I'm findin' no affliction

These days I'm needin' no restriction

Feel like I'm finding new addiction

He is as a person feeling like he can be more of his true self in private and public, perhaps found ways to find peace in his/their closeting and situation. He has less restrictions now without the constant long term beading/pr relationships. He is able to stay publically single with the cover of a child. There is a whole different post somewhere in the future on this. I believe Louis and Zayn were able to make the same negotiation to be single in exchange for father of the year roles. But perhaps their partners had to more heavily stunt in relationships too. We will never know but there is some mirroring between the two couples situations the last 3 years or so especially Zouis. 

And it feels good

And I knew it would

When I'm tellin' this story it's complicated

Some mishaps I've been mournin' but I'm grateful for it

It feels good to write music without it having to be perceived about his public relationships. He can't share all the stories still though, they are too complicated. There are mistakes he regrets but he can still feel gratefulness amongst it all.

Things change and I'm okay with what I'm not

It feels wasteful to be hateful

I'll be grateful for what I got

There has been so much pain in his life. He could choose to be angry and hateful but that feels wasteful. He chooses to reframe and focus on what he has, who he is and be grateful. There is huge maturity and emotional intelligence going on here. 

These days I'm needin' no restriction (For you)

Just as always Zayn finds a subtle sweet way to bring his person, his love into the narrative of the lyrics. These days I'm needing no restrictions for you. For you! Perhaps this refers to no longer needing the restriction of a bearing/pr relationships to cover his for you. He sounds like he feels more free. He's focussed on gratitude. 

The Time

Yesterday just came and went

And if today I wake up late, I won't forgive myself

’Cause time's running its own game

And I've rolled the dice too many times in my head

Huge changes as mentioned in perspective and growth as a person. He is reframing life, he values time, he doesn't want to waste time anymore. He's wasted time in the past being angry, being focussed on pain or other challenges. Its not for him now. Something significant happened that challenged his perspective too.

Never fell for the fame thing

They fell in love with the same things

Let me know when the rain ends

See all I need is you

Ain’t it special? Ain't it precious?

The time that we have

When I'm laid in your bed and you tell me you lovе me

Bringing his person, his love into the story with him, as he ALWAYS has across 4 albums. He and his person never fell for the fame thing. His person is in the industry too. That's pretty clear here, right. He and his person fell in love with the same things. Again seems clear, they both fell in love with music. Music is the thing they love and what they wanted to do in life. Fame came with it but they didn't really want to play that game. I'll fight anyone who can't see this isn't about Liam. Who else, honestly? All he needs is his person, his love. Its the best thing they both got from the fame and music. They got each other, as teenage boys and god damn that really is SO special and precious. So rare and unique. The time they have is everything, it means more than the fame and music and all the bullshit they have had to go through to be together. Time is all that matters, it is everything. When they lay in bed together, when they say I love you, he's making it clear it's an intimate setting, yet so normal and usual for them. Those are the moments that matter most not fame or music.

Colours back in all my days

Build the structure, lеt it break

As long as it's good for your brain

Lessons learned is what I've gained

Feedin' families, forget the fame

I'm doing it now for a second name

His person, his love brings all the colour into his life. I mean beautiful, they bring him joy and happiness. There's also queerness here, a number of closeted artists talk in lyrics about it being grey and searching for colour or the rainbow. He has his rainbow. They've built a life together, structures, a home, routine. Simple life, relationship things. Whatever is good for them, doesn't matter what it is. Its away from the fame. Feeding families, they are a family and they support their own families, these are benefits from the fame, they focus on. Doing it for a second name. Obviously a stunt line, you have to expect them but in context of the song and the rest of it using they to reflect his partner, it can be more true that he's referring to his partners second name.

And I could cry when you tell me that you love me

When you're doing things you shouldn’t be

And I lie for you

And I could cry when you tell me that you love me

And I'd die for you if you asked me to

This bridge, I was crying before Liam passed just the absolute love and devotion that you would die if the person asked you too. And no this line is not about his daughter, his daughter at 2 or 3 is not doing things they shouldn't and him lying for her. There is some insight here for me that perhaps this refers to Liam's addiction issues. That Zayn is fighting for, fighting with his partner, time is everything. They've been close to the edge of life and loss. That's the feeling here for me. And I feel that because I've been going through cancer the last few years, on the edge of my own mortality. Facing that fear. How time is the greatest value in life. How time with my daughter means more than anything. How every second of time spent in the most simplest and intimate ways with her is so fucking precious and special. And when I think of Zayn writing this song and still having Liam after whatever happened on that edge of life. To truly understand the value of time in life, it's a different way of understanding, of knowing when you've truly faced it on the edge of life. That's what I feel in the song, in many parts of the entire album. It resonates so deeply for me. To then lose him afterall. It is devastating. It makes me deeply worried if Zayn can find his way in life without Liam. I hope he can, I hope he can focus in on the same things he focuses on in this album. I hope he can find it in him to write for Liam. I hope the tour gives him something forward focussed. 

[airbenderedacted]

WOY's writing team sat together and collaborated on ideas for episodes to make. Plus, the whole main story arc, aka The Dominator Arc, had been mapped out by Craig McCracken before they even got working on the individual S2 episodes and how they'd go down. Like you said, the show makes it super clear that Dominator is completely irredeemable... which is why never in a million years would Craig have approved the creation of an episode that would serve to plant the seeds for her redemption. The Night Out did not exist for that purpose. It shows us that she's lonely, which informs us of the reason why she targets the mains so methodically and keeps coming back to torment them again and again instead of just killing them outright whenever she has the chance. Her loneliness and need for socialization is what fuels her M.O. for evildoing. It doesn't make her sympathetic (far from it because her loneliness is self-infliced), it just arguably makes her even more of a sadist! She keeps people around just to play around with ways to break them further than she already has or has already attempted.

The Night Out is the first time we really get to see this clearly laid out in front of us. The way the episode ends also makes it crystal clear that her awfulness is what CAUSES her loneliness. Sylvia's friendship doesn't make her reconsider being a bad guy, doesn't dig up some iota of good in her that makes her open up to a change of heart. She just isn't good in the depths of her heart; she's an asshole who LIKES being an asshole and that's what makes her first and only friendship fall apart. The destroyer is alone because destroying everything you ever come across, including people and every relationship you could ever have, naturally leaves you like that. Alone.

And the heartfelt moment she has on the rooftops with Sylvia before they get caught by those biker goons? It is signficant and it does look like it makes her open to changing her ways since she does something in that scene that contrasts her typical behavior pretty strongly: she looks at the gorgeous view of the planets before her and actually appreciates them. Or, well, she more or less hesitantly agrees with Sylvia's appreciation of it being an incredible sight. But does that mean that there's something of a good person deep down inside of her? Her, the person whose greatest passion in life is demolishing the hopes and homes of every innocent life (and then sometimes also taking those innocent lives) she comes across? No! All that scene tells us is that she has the capacity to appreciate something other than death and destruction. It doesn't really imply that she could come to appreciate other things more than her passion for her evildoing, and the scene that comes right after it arguably tells us that she could never! At the very best, it conveys that the capacity to change is within her, but that's true of any well-written character because a well-written charcter will feel alive, and anything that's alive IS capable of change. The most important thing we're meant to take away from that scene on the rooftops is that it shows us that she could be different, even if only the slightest bit different, so that the rest of the episode (and the rest of the entire season) can really drive home that she decidedly WON'T.

Lord Dominator was not out of character in The Night Out, the crew has stated before that it's an important episode for fleshing out her character, nor did The Night Out deviate from the planned story arc for S2.

So in one Wander Over Yonder episode, it attempted to redeem Lord Dominator. Now if you watched the show, you know why that's a horrible idea. While I love Lord Dominator, she should not be redeemed. Since she said that she outright only destroys planets and commits genocide for fun, and has no interest in being redeemed in her villian song "I'm the bad guy" (Banger song btw) and then I found out that the episode was written by Nate Stevenson and I immediately though "Oh, yeah, that makes sense." Since he is obsessed with redeeming villians, even though Lord Dominator has no sad backstory and literally only does these things for fun. She didn't get redeemed, THANK GOD! But it was certainly meant to plant the seeds for her redemption, but she didn't actually get redeemed

[dykedvonte]

Ty for answering my asks! Recently, I saw some fanart of the gender bendered crew and it got me curios, how much would the plot change if Jimmy was a woman. I mean, she would still be emotionally abusive (esp to Fem!Curly), but at lest, I guess, the crash would've never happened (?)

Also, her relationship w/ Anya: if she was assulted still, it prolly would've been dissmissed, since it's between 2 women. Or, if Anya is male in this scenario, he couldn't really be able to talk abt it, since society decided that "women can't r*pe men", so it's not serious and he should suck it up. Man, it's just sucks to be Anya in any scenario my poor girl 😭

What do you think? If you have an opinion on that at all, that is

-💀

I think the scenario's where the gender was flipped or any level of gender based intersectionality is expanded makes it so much more complex.

If this is the scenario with fem!Jimmy, it comes with the territory of questionable internalized homophobia. Does Jimmy brush it off in this scenario because she doesn't think lesbian encounters are real ones? Is she struggling with her identity and taking it out on Anya who may be openly queer compared a fem!Curly who is either straight or just not interested in Jimmy? Perhaps it's a sort of weird entitled that can occur in female dominated spaces "We're both girls, I know what you have, it won't matter." It's still is something I don't see Jimmy denying in this scenario, he never really denies it in canon just talks around it with Curly. Here I can see it's less about the pregnancy and more so about the internalized homophobia. Not seeing Anya as anything but an unwanted aspect of her femineity and the allure of it, there's a lot more objectification of both Curly and Anya in this alteration as I would believe feels better thinking of them in that light if they are just fodder in her mind. Guilty pleasures that no longer bring her such. It's a careful situation because I don't want this to fall into predatory lesbian stereotyping, Jimmy is just a person who does not respect other people or their choice, if it conflict with what he wants or perceived is owed.

The idea of Curly having to report it and outing her not only as a rapist but queer and the denial, especially in the case Anya and Curly are both out as she feels a sort of resentment she can't be secure with herself that way. If it is masc!Curly, there could be the jealousy of him being able to actively pursue relationships he wants while she feels she can't, Anya and Curly playfully flirt, its casual but it's something she longs for in the same way she doesn't. She obsesses over Curly because she wishes she could be Curly in a social sense in both aspect male or female Curly.

If it's fem!Jimmy and masc!Anya? It's a much more delicate situation. In this scenario Jimmy gets pregnant. Maybe Anya does a blood test after the incident and finds out Jimmy is pregnant. It's a very sensitive matter because if it's fem!Curly her first assumption is Anya may have done something. That is just the immediate assumptions in cases like this. I think the fact that Anya is telling her would make Curly think it's not that simple, especially since Jimmy isn't brining it up or really caring but everyone reacts differently. Jimmy is pregnant however, and that's a big deal, she'll figure that out eventually on her own but how will she react? Curly knows it won't be good, Anya knows too.

I think the crash is instigated in this scenerio by fem!Curly actually doing more, refusing to sweep it under the rug because she can conceptualize that fear, likely she and Jimmy are the only girls on board. She trusts everyone, well did trust everyone, but it's just something you live with. She can't just live with that double standard but I feel like she really doesn't know how to address it. How does she bring it up to superiors without implicating Anya? What does she do with Jimmy, it still feels like she's catering to Jimmy but now the concern is primarily focused on the life this baby will be born into. If it is born at all. I don't think Jimmy would try to kill Anya in this concept but try to spin the narrative it was mutual up until she got pregnant. Curly doesn't really buy it but it's a lot of processing, a lot more he said she said but what Jimmy is saying just doesn't make sense. It gives Jimmy too much time to really settle with the fact she's pregnant and likely can't support a kid nor wants to give birth out in space. Jimmy feeling like she's being othered from the only other woman could also be a factor, maybe even starting into her thinking Curly is behaving like a "pick-me" for siding with a guy over her. The crash is more spiteful in terms of having to protect herself alone, due to Curly not outright supporting her delusions.

It really adds a certain horror to Jimmy's pregnancy hallucinations because after the crash they are about her, her symptoms the sign of showing. She doesn't want the child either and considering what being pregnant can do to your mental/physical state, especially some of the more negative symptoms, I doubt she is handling it well. A lot of Anya's struggles are with the stigmas around male victims. His body reacted so did he want it? He's gonna be a father and courts likely will make him pay or care for the baby even if they take Anya's side, their world is just like that. Would the other's blame him for not doing more, he is a man after all? Should he be considered lucky a woman was that into him? It's eating away at him because not only does he not feel safe, he actively blames himself.

In the case Curly is still a cis guy, its that weird feeling guys often get when talking about male victims of assault. I don't think he'd victim blame but he likely asks or thinks about how it could've happened, why wouldn't Anya just overpower Jimmy? Maybe he couldn't? Maybe Anya didn't have it in him to strike a woman. He wouldn't. Now he thinks of what he would have done if Jimmy did something like that to him. SImilary to my trans!Curly post, he's wondering if it could've been him. It's likely one of the first times in his life he has to think of that type of vulnerability in terms of himself and other men and against likely his girl best friend. I think that arm pat right before Jimmy crashes the ship would really make him feel weird, not like he'd have the time to really dig into those feeling but y'know WERE GONNA CRASH!!!.

In terms of Jimmy and Curly's specific relationship, it just gets messier if they aren't both guys or girls. There's a lot of misogny on Jimmy's side with fem!Curly. He often points out she's a woman captain or makes a point of her being one of the few independent woman in her field and how certain men hate that. It's insidious but Curly doesn't think about or like to cause she likes to believe Jimmy isn't one of those guys. He can be a bit antiquated, maybe a bit of a pig but no ones perfect! Here a lot of his resentment is more gear toward a woman having that power over him as Captain/filling the typical male roles he fails at. He can't stand that she's above him in almost aspect and he likely takes it out on other women. Similarly, fem!Jimmy and cis Curly is just as bad. It's a fact of not knowing if she wants to be him, wants him or wants to destroy him. It's obsession without anything positive. She feels entitled to his space and life and time and he has a hard time setting up boundaries cause, well, Jimmy's a girl, his bestfriend and it comes with all the stigmas around boygirl best friends. To him it's a sort of oppressive doting, he feels wrong telling her not to pick and like he's being controlling. That's how she'd spin it whenever he'd try to make boundaries with her.

They are still just friends but most people can't tell even if they can tell it's not healthy, in both cases. Either way I feel like if they were opposite genders to each other there would a specific infatuation Jimmy would have with Curly that would be less hidden but sort of unaddressed because the idea of Curly rejecting them would make them lash out in a way Curly may just leave for their safety. It's also Jimmy wouldn't want to be with Curly specifically but just want what would consistently provide/available.

If they are both girls, its envy. It's that sort of hate that someone fits the standards you don't, wanting them to be picked second or crack. She likes to get into Curly's head, point out flaws and act like it's just her being helpful. She wants Curly to be a girls girl but only for her. There's a sort of possessiveness like purposely jeopardizing relationships because why would a man come first? That girl hates me and is a pick me, why are you friends with her still, Curly? Like this is silly but think about how Regina George treats Gretchen Wieners and that's effectively how fem!Curly and fem!Jimmy would work but technically Curly has the sway of Regina.

I believe the crash would always happen. Jimmy would try to escape responsibility or really thinking about what they did in any world, any gender. It's about facing the consequences, losing things he refuses to let go of or having to deal with responsibilities he's not ready for. The switching of sex or gender really doesn't change those core aspects.