#she can and will encourage violence
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emmikay · 8 days ago
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moghedien · 3 months ago
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Minthara says “in Her name” when you first meet her and she’s following the Absolute but when you recruit her and she expresses that she no longer follows any god, but she still has an intact paladin oath, and she says “in your name” occasionally because she’s no longer Lolth’s paladin or the Absolute’s paladin, she’s your paladin
#😭#she might not think you’re a god or whatever but you’re the only one that ever came to save her#and if you let her read your mind you’re the only one she knows has no intention to hurt or use her#like I feel like what Minthara wants most of all is to not have to look over her shoulder or wait for the shoe to drop#like every relationship she’s had as a lolthsworn drow has come with the caveat that everyone will take her out if they have the chance#and if it benefits them even a little#lolth literally encourages this so long as you aren’t obvious about it#and lolth will 100% punish you the second she has an excuse to#and then the absolute like while she was being controlled probably felt more like genuine love than Minthara ever experienced#but it came with Orin and punishments for failing#and her being literallly mind controlled into her#so it’s still violent and threatening even if the extent of that is only realized after she’s pulled out of it#but then there’s you who pulled her out of that#who can clearly and plainly show her that you have no intention of hurting her even if it benefits you#and who went out of your way to rescue her when no one else she was devoted to ever would#and you offered her the means to not only stay safe from the absolute but to get revenge on it#of course it’s ‘in your name’ now you’re the only person that gave Minthara a reason for her to follow you#that wasn’t threats of violence and suffering#you literally gave her the opposite#she’s YOUR paladin it doesn’t matter if aren’t a god#you could be tho#Minthara#minthara baenre#bg3#baldur's gate 3
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ettadunham · 3 months ago
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sometimes i remember the hunger games and how nobody actually paid attention to what was in those books
#americans close your eyes and ears right now#i'm well aware that my political takes are way too spicy for you all#and i really do wish my media diet didn't contain so much us-centric shit#but alas we're all suffering here#and i could say that 'oh actually it does matter who your president is for us in the world'#but it doesn't. it really fucking doesn't. that's kind of the point.#oh i'm sorry my spicy takes are already starting#anyway it is wild that you all can understand katniss assassinating coin at the end of mockingjay#but get super upsetty that chappell roan won't support your favorite presidential candidate with her full chest#like come on none of you actually thought that her using the phrase both sides meant that she was a republican or even a centrist#that's just copium#you all knew exactly what she meant#but i guess encouraging people to think critically and get involved with their local elections and politics as well is... bad now?#also... why do you all care so much about a random pop star's opinion and whether or not she dares to criticize a government#like... she's right but i'm sure 5 years from now if she survives in the limelight her edges will be completely chipped away#by all this insane reaction#and before anyone comes for me... no i'm not saying you shouldn't vote. please fucking do.#neither am i saying you shouldn't vote strategically or encourage other people to do so#but if all your energy is spent policing people who criticize your chosen party because of their own principles#then there's something seriously wrong with your politics#and all you're signalling is that you truly do not fucking care about the issues that they care about#if anything..... you RESENT them#and then the same people bring up the parable of the 'unjust man'#or how it's never the right time to talk about gun violence in your country#harm reduction is all good and based but attacking people who are leveraging their support to push your party left#is not. it's not even fucking helpful#anyway. don't base your lives and politics around pop stars.#even if they are more based than you 🤷#i think i'm done now thank you tumblr for letting me have insane rants in my tags that hopefully no one reads#idk i just find this all depressing. i wish you all cared more about the world outside of your bubble. i wish we all did - myself included.
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morninkim · 10 months ago
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decided Wren and their world's version of Elle had a kinda toxic romantic/horny fling during that campaign's timeskip - excerpt from the thing i'm writing for it under the cut
(idk if this getting posted anywhere since it is uh. definitely smut. and i don't have anywhere to appropriately and comfortably post that atm. but mostly just using it to practice writing again and i liked this little bit so sharing it hehe)
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1pcii · 1 year ago
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thinking about younger 124ji as years of this kind of unchecked thinking and behaviour, mixed with their unnatural lack of empathy bringing them to the cartoonist extremes they display in canon.
#cw for strangulation and child death for the video clip#I've been thinking alot about the vinsmokes and Eva parallels lately#how similar yet opposite gendou and judge are#gendou doing everything for the sake/memory of his wife at the expense of humanity. judge doing everything for germa at the expence of#his wife/family#yet they both end up hurting and augmenting unatural circumstances for their children in very similar ways#they are but liabilities. sacrifices. pawns in a game they would kill themselves trying to win. cast out and abused for 'failing'#I find rei parallels especially interesting. she's a very underappreciated character already imo. and it's easy to make the shinji/sanji#connection#but Rei has so many layers to her that can be akin to the vinsmoke siblings#she is like reiju in that she does have emotion but her subservient position under judge(/gendou) means that it means very little in the#grand scheme of things#and yet she can't help but to /feel/ when around sanji(/shinji). a testimony of the love of her late mother#she is also similar to 124ji in that she is replaceable. always at risk of the technology that brought her into the world as she is#she has been molded into the perfect soldier via gendou's emotional manipulation and as such only expresses what is necessary for her#position. only parrots back what he exposes her to. unaware of it's weight or ramifications on other people#124ji I'd say have that to an extream in that violence and malice are actively encouraged in their minds by the fact they do seem to be#able to express /negative/ emotions#which naturally lead them to growing into the abusive assholes they are today#but it's sad yknow? that they never had the chance to be anything else#psii.txt#psii.mp4#text#meta#vinsmoke siblings#vinsmoke ichiji#vinsmoke niji#vinsmoke yonji#124ji
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fetabathwater · 2 years ago
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would llonvyne ever have a family? kids, partner, pet dragon? or does that depend on the vampirism and super charged daedra soul?
ive actually been debating inflicting her with the woe of child/ren but also demiprince type bc who knows whaddahell is going on there. smth smth stop fucking around and finding out with daedric princes etc etc. but yeah like. idk. i genuinely havent thought much further ahead than kind of mentally spacing out each campaign/dlc/thing that is going on in her life, kind of picking up npcs that i think kind of clicked in some way with dialogue and llon. she has inadvertently managed to become a mother hen to a number of young murderous teens/young adults, but like i dont think of it as 'mothering' more like. hm. i dont wanna classify it as being all 'big sister' energy either that i guess is stereotyped into expectation. she's there, she'll help, she is going on her own way but she'll keep in touch if ur bird manages to find her and deliver the letter? or eventually she'll return to her home and read everything back.
like idk with also definitely running with being a silencer and . ok forgot the title u receive in thieves but like. busy ms llony. also llon is doing things on her own time, and yeah like. theres the vampirism which was fun when she was like. idk. 200 or w/e but now shes like 400 or smth if you count the forced slumber i forgot what yr i said she was born, and she's tired and not sure how it works with a supercharged soul gem and like 40 kinds of blessings and curses from daedric princes, and azura and meridia kind of trying to drag her left and right and she's also still getting sea sick which is so weird like. also almalexia is there and vivec city still isnt built and also time travel exists but this could be a dragon break all along?
llon publishes a memoir but then turns out the dragon break ends and it doesnt exist LMAO
and then like i think it would be so funny if she was nerevarine. like idk how committed i am to it of course but the fucking. shit hitting the fan for her that literally no god will let her die???? flipping off the elder scrolls and also that rly cool idea ppl were rolling around of nerevarine steadily looking more chimer vs dunmer as everything progressed. also cool. but thats also like. another era away for her.
BUT YEAH SORRY TO ANSWER THE QUESTION got sidetracked. idk about starting a family if not inadvertently like. not even just in a vamp thing and dunmer have a small amount of kids thing but i could only see it rly happening by accident and a 'hm. this shouldnt happen' weird shit or having a daedra spawn dropped in her arms. llon doesnt count anyone who didnt go to arkay priests to ask for a blessing and remove any possible vampirism after a night of necking. idk about her having a consistent partner, i did make an altmer/imperial looking just ur average roman citizen about to commit warcrimes who also was bit by lamae but i forgot to play them further:) might take them out for a spin and dress them up. then forget again.
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dailyjermasparkle · 1 year ago
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Hello Everyone!
Today is the first day of the weeklong strike for a ceasefire in Gaza.
I have realized that I do not think the message has spread far, at least on this website. This might be due to the lack of internet in Gaza, it has been down for days. Not much can be said by the citizens there, it's like some people forgot about them. I encourage all of you to share this post, or make your own, letting everyone know about this strike. This is something that should transcend the aesthetic of your blog. My blog was a gimmick blog, but for this week, it is a blog for spreading information and awareness.
Bisan Odwa (@wizard_bisan1 on instagram) has called for this strike. She is a journalist from Gaza, who has been experiencing this horrid violence for 15 weeks. 107 days. 2568 hours.
These were the images she posted, calling for this strike:
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Reblog this, share this. Do not stop until every supporter of Gaza knows what we must do this week.
Free Palestine, Free Gaza, Ceasefire now!
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tepkunset · 8 months ago
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Marvel Studios is an American film and television production company. Marvel Comics is an American comic book publisher.
As of the current date, the official BDS Movement has called for a Boycott of Marvel Studios upcoming Captain America film that features a zionist Israeli character who supports apartheid. There has been zero mention of Marvel Comics - or anything else Marvel - in either of their two statements I can currently find mentioning "Marvel" on their website, unless something is missing from that tag.
April 27, 2023: "Palestinians call for widespread boycotts of Marvel’s 2024 film, Captain America: New World Order, unless it drops Sabra/Ruth Bat-Seraph, its “superhero” that personifies the apartheid state of Israel. ... We encourage creative, peaceful protests to challenge Marvel Studios’ – and its owner Disney’s – complicity in anti-Palestinian racism, Israeli propaganda, and the glorification of settler-colonial violence against Indigenous people. ... We urge conscientious audiences worldwide to join us in boycotting Captain America: New World Order, and standing up for freedom, justice and equality."
November 23, 2023: "Marvel’s next Captain America film features Sabra/Ruth Bat-Seraph, a “superhero” personifying apartheid Israel. The character’s backstory includes working for the genocidal Israeli government and its occupation forces. By reviving this racist character in any form, Marvel is promoting Israel’s oppression of Palestinians. It is complicit in anti-Palestinian racism, Israeli propaganda, and glorifying settler-colonial violence. Tell Marvel you won’t buy its toys, clothes or accessories."
It is my understanding that the only way a boycott will work is if it's organized and targeted - thus the reason for BDS in the first place. The demand was that Marvel Studios remove the Israeli character from the film. Since the demand has not been met, then the boycott remains in place. But boycotting some random comic book writer's work and some comic book shop that makes pennies, with nothing to do with the MCU, is not what is being organized at this time.
The character in question hasn't even been featured in comics in 10 years - though of course she never should have been created in the first place. But Marvel Studios is choosing to pull her out of nowhere, when they have thousands and thousands of characters they could adapt instead. Please boycott Captain America: Brave New World (formerly titled New World Order) set to come out February, 2025, even if you're a Sam Wilson fan.
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fairuzfan · 8 months ago
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I'm watching two documentaries of one of my familys' villages and Palestinian and 'Israeli' witness accounts from the Naksa and a Jewish tour guide comes to one of the villages (which were the 3 villages side by side, all of them affected) and points to a bathhouse with gravestones all around it. The area of all three villages is now completely demolished and the Jewish National Fund built the "Canada Park" (funded predominately by Canada! Through tax deductible donations!), as well as an Israeli settlement, on top of it. An Israeli woman sits, eating from the trees that my ancestors planted, and she says "this is war. I dont feel the pain from these places, the pain of the people. This is what happens in war." Can you imagine? She sits, eating from my ancestors trees and she says "it doesn't matter to me." The level of selfishness to be so confident in your theft!
In the documentary, a Palestinian elder from Yalo says, holding back tears, that her dream is to go back to Yalo and die and be buried in her home, where her husband died. That was my great grandmothers' dream that was never realized, just a few years ago in a village not far from Yalo.
They talk about how this was a war crime, a crime against humanity. Since '67 we have been having these discussions. Since '48 we have been talking about war crimes committed by Israelis! These are the same discussions we keep having! The same facts we keep repeating! Even Yitzhak Rabin says the same things, that this is war, this is what happens in a war! It's the same things over and over and it's happening in Gaza!
There are people still alive who participated in the ethnic cleansing of these villages. They participated in demolishing these villages. They participated in killing those village members. They participated in the generations of poverty that Palestinians experience. They're still alive and just walking around in Israeli society, encouraging the genocide in Gaza. How can I trust a society like that? Knowing that these people are lauded as heroes for erasing these villages. How can I trust them when barely anyone in this society acknowledges the violence done onto us? Abhorrent violence that they let happen so willingly!
Here are the documentaries. These three villages were ethnically cleansed in '67, and it's shocking to hear the same sort of stories we hear from Gaza today. The same playbook, the same places.
Villages: Yalo, 'Imwas, Bayt Nuba
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rafeyscurtainbangs · 2 months ago
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“𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌” - ����𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐧 + 𝐉𝐉 𝐌𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐭
+18 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓸𝓻 𝓓𝓝𝓘
𝙵𝚛𝚊𝚝!𝚁𝚊𝚏𝚎 𝚡 𝙵𝚛𝚊𝚝!𝙹𝙹 𝚡 𝙼𝚞𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚘!𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛
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𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐒: 𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝, 𝐃𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐓𝐚𝐥𝐤, 𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐲, 𝐂𝐍𝐂, 𝐆𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩 𝐒𝐞𝐱, 𝐄𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐇𝐮𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐈𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐲, 𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞, 𝐑𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲, 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐤
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𝓻𝓪𝓯𝓮𝔂𝓼𝓬𝓾𝓻𝓽𝓪𝓲𝓷𝓫𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓼 𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓴𝓽𝓸𝓫𝓮𝓻 𝔀𝓮𝓮𝓴 𝓯𝓲𝓿𝓮
⚠️ warnings contain spoilers ⚠️
situationship, kissing, swearing, graphic violence, mentions of blood, gore, bullying, teasing, mutual intoxication during a sex act, ownership kink, pet names, drug usage, drinking, blood, knife play, choking, oral male receiving, threesome m/m/f, rough sex, talking about the reader like she's not there, blood licking, finger sucking, hand kink, mask kink, stalking, gaslighting, physical violence, the reader wants them both, dark Rafe, dark reader, dark JJ, unprotected sex with multiple people, dvp, rough sex, oral female receiving, using objects during sex, cum tasting, squirting, creampie, anal play, multiple orgasms, breeding kink, size kink, ignoring a safe word, breath play, hair pulling, bondage, impact play, degradation, dirty talk, praise, pussy slapping
Reader’s POV:
“Okay, so, what is an antagonist?” The boy leans back in his seat, crossing his big arms over his broad chest, his white t-shirt strained. He stares you down, hoping you’ll crack and give him the answer. “M’not telling you, Rafe,” you correct him before he can even ask with a light laugh and a smile that has him returning the same.
“C’mon, pretty. Got no clue what’s goin’ on. I learn better this way,” he croons.
“You learn better by me telling you the answer?” You ask weakly, to which he shrugs and smiles. “This one. I’ll tell you this one. You’re making me think I’m doing a bad job, Cameron,” you add in exhaustion as you spin the cap off your water bottle, staring back at him tiredly.
“A bad job?” He asks in disbelief, eyebrows tugging together as a little scowl pulls on his pretty lips. “M’just givin’ you shit.”
“You’re not-“
”The character who opposes the main character in a work of literature,” he recalls the flashcard word-for-word, making your jaw slack in delight and irritation. His tongue pokes through his smile as he looks back at you playfully. “Best tutor I’ve ever had, princess.”
You feel your cheeks warm up; you take a quick sip of water to guise your smile. You were trying to do your best to stay focused on your session, but he just made it so hard. Rafe Cameron was a distraction, and he knew it, too. It’s hard to ignore his lingering gaze; how he leaned in a little too close when asking a question. His rich cologne muddled your thoughts. Rafe’s raspy, deep voice makes it almost impossible to get your words out confidently.
He’s so damn charming, and you know better than to encourage him, but sometimes the temptation is too strong. You clear your throat, pinching your eyes shut, cutting off his deep, dark stare cold turkey. He chuckles airly, clearly aware of his effects on you, though you’d never admit it.
“Thank you,” you respond with a smile as you straighten out the deck of neon flashcards. “Alright, next we have protagonist.” Rafe tries to bait you again with a look that has your mind spinning. “Enough,” you scold annoyedly.
He lifts his hands in surrender as he leans closer, resting his big forearms on the table. His gold chain falls out of his shirt, glinting in the library light. Your eyes follow the slight space between his cotton v-neck and burly chest. “Ya know, y/n. JJ is a lucky-”
“Am I interrupting somethin’?” JJ chirps, with a teasing edge in his ask, stopping Rafe before he can finish. The blonde leans down, wrapping his large arm around you, pressing a rough kiss against your cheek, earning a giggle and smile. Rafe rolls his eyes at the exchange between you, making JJ laugh teasingly. “Envy does not look good on you, brother.”
Rafe lifts his eyebrows, huffing out a laugh. “Bullshit, buddy. I look good in everything,” Rafe gloats. “All’s I was gonna say is how lucky you are.”
JJ gives him a taunting smile as he crashes down in the seat next to you, wrapping his arm around the back of your chair, looking back at his frat brother with a challenging gaze. “Right. You can keep remindin’ her, Rafe. I’m no Casanova, but keepin’ my name on your lips when you’re talkin’ to my girl isn’t going to get you anywhere,” JJ mocks. “Thought you had game?” Rafe balls up his notebook paper, tossing it at JJ hard and fast, nailing him in the forehead.
“I do,” Rafe answers confidently as his cerulean stare shifts from JJ’s to yours. Your stomach falls at Rafe’s words, slight guilt trickling in as he speaks nothing but the truth. JJ scoffs and laughs, kicking his boots on the seat beside Rafe.
”Yo, where’s Alexis?” JJ asks. You glance around the library, looking for her. I mean, she’s chronically late, but she would always send me a text or something.
”I don’t know,” you breathe as you lean over, snagging your phone off the table.
Alexis: Volleyball practice went late. Sorry.
Your ears perk up as you hear an announcement break over the intercom, catching everyone’s attention. “Attention students, faculty, and library staff. All classes have been canceled for the remainder of the day. Please stay calm and follow the campus safety procedures by filtering out of the nearest exit.”
You look out onto the crowded library, watching students look around, sharing hushed conversations about what’s happening that would cancel school altogether. You glance outside onto the dark campus parking lot, cop cars gathered by the masses, red and blue gleaming lights flickering in the night.
The backdoors of the ambulance swing open as a group of first responders race toward the vehicle with a covered gurney; an unmistakable shape underneath. You walk closer to the glass, squinting your eyes, trying to get a better look. Blood pools on the sheet, spreading like a wash of watercolor paint at the victim's stomach. The interior lights of the ambulance hit the sufferers face, all the blood leaving your own as you see Alexis.
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You sit on the couch, drawing your coffee up to your lips, feeling the cup tremble in your hand. You swallow the bitter liquid fast, trying to ease your pounding head. It was a long night… The two of you up, following the story as it unfolded on TV, seeing that beautiful, friendly face plastered across the screen.
You were too wrapped up in thought to sleep; too consumed with the picture that would be forever etched in your mind as you watched her get hauled away only to die on the ambulance ride there. Alexis didn’t stand a chance: strangled, blunt force trauma, stabbed thirteen times, left to bleed out in the bathroom ‘til a teammate found her.
JJ sits next to you, your eyes glued on the TV as they show the suspected killer for the nth time. You always expect to see some blurry-faced man, maybe a deranged teen, but what you didn’t expect when an image of the suspect first dropped was a familiar white mask.
The news anchor’s voice drones on about another brutal killing in the night at a movie theater downtown, leaving the entire city on edge. “Yet another Ghostface killing,” she adds to her colleague, going on to talk about the same twisted methods he used to kill, all of which you remember from watching the movies. You had a visualization of the crime scene without an actual pictures— mental polaroids snapped with each new detail. You glance at JJ, who’s oddly unbothered, letting the new story play on like he’s listening to some mundane podcast.
The house is bustling: boys walking in and out of the messy estate, spent beer cans, and littered pizza boxes left over from the night before. None of them look fazed, everything seemingly unchanged like there weren’t people being murdered around town, with a crazed, masked killer on the loose.
Chills run down your spine as you watch the CCTV footage of a large figure in a cloak and a mask exiting the bathroom after killing Alexis before fading into blackness. It looked like a movie. One that you've watched on this very screen. Whoever this killer is, he’s real. He’s out there. JJ grabs the remote control, letting out an irked whine as the story continues, pointing it at the TV. “JJ!” You chide through a sharp whisper.
He looks over at you, cocking an eyebrow. “We already watched this, sunshine. Same shit on the hour,” he grumbles. “Nothin’ new, baby. Let’s watch The Office or somethin’.” He turns the channel, snuggling his big body into you more.
You feel your phone vibrate in your pocket. Shit… The knot in your stomach tightens. You take a sip of coffee, trying to act normal, but nothing is ordinary. What if something happened? You dig in your pocket, pulling out your phone, catching a message from Rafe.
Rafe: No tutor session today please. It’s Halloween. God damn. Can you cut me some slack for one fucking day princess?
You roll your eyes, biting back a smile. He’s so annoying. You didn’t have anything scheduled with him anyway; JJ’s frat brother, just looking for a reason to drop you a line. JJ looks over your shoulder, reading the message before picking the phone off your hands. “Goddamn, baby. You got this man pussy whipped, and he hasn’t even gotten his dick wet,” he knocks as his lips meet your neck, kissing and biting at your skin. JJ reaches over your shoulder double-tapping the message, giving it a like. You shake your head and smile as you see Rafe instantly replying.
Rafe: Maybank stop bein a bitch
JJ: It’s y/n
Rafe: bullshit. Send me a pic, then?
JJ lifts his shirt, snapping a picture of his toned chest. He chuckles wickedly as he hits send.
Rafe: no. your girl’s got better tits than that
JJ scrunches his nose in disgust, looking down at the message like he’s trying to translate it. “Your girl’s got better tits. Fuckin’ asshole,” he mutters as he passes the phone back to you. You chuckle lightly, trying to slow your movements, but you’re desperate to see if there are any news updates. Your palms sweat, mind nagging with thought as you grow physically impatient. What’s wrong with me? These are real people dying, but even still, there’s this wavering excitement I can’t shake. It’s fuckin’ sick. I'm fuckin’ sick. And I know it.
A grainy clip plays on your phone screen as you browse the local news app— the crime scene from last night. You take another sip of coffee, following the chain of events, catching the irony: a Scream marathon playing at the AMC theater, the stabbing happening during Scream Two. The killer probably waited until the midnight showing of the Stab scene to take out the poor girl in real-time. Two slayed: the boyfriend in the bathroom and the girlfriend in the theater. You read the article carefully, taking in the differences of location: life taken in the back of the theater versus the front… She probably went out silently versus screaming out in terror. I mean, the person next to her didn’t even know she was dead until the end credits rolled.
“Baby girl…” JJ hums as he looks over, catching you looking a little too distracted. You hide your phone slightly, looking up into his beautiful blue eyes.
“Mhmm…” He stares down at you, giving you a knowing glance. His eyebrow arches, reading you like a book. “What’s up?” You ask as you drop your focus, looking down at your coffee like it’s the most interesting thing you've ever seen before taking another sip. His gaze hasn’t left you; you can still feel it burning into the side of your head.
“Baby…” He tries again.
You look up at him, hoping he’ll drop it, knowing he won’t. “Hmm…”
JJ quirks his pretty pink lips, leaning back into the couch a little to get a better look at your guilty face. “Really?” He mocks, his voice low and laced with amusement. “You gettin’ off on this or what?”
”What?” You gasp.
“What?” He echoes your soft tone impishly, with just enough sting to remind you of the reality you're skirting around. “You know what.”
You roll your eyes, feeling the heat of shame creep up your neck, pooling in your cheeks. “Stop.”
”Stop what?” He asks with a toothy grin, totally relishing in razzing you.
“It’s so bad, Jay…” You admit sheepishly as you tip your head back, relaxing it on the back of the couch. “Ya know?” You return your eyes to him, the man meeting your focus with a sideways glance.
“People are out there dyin’,” he ridicules you. The corners of his lips fight back a taunting smile, a slight glimmer in his eye, finding pleasure in humiliating you; he knows you’re not heartless. “This ain’t like those podcasts you watch, baby. And I know you like a good slasher fic, but come on…”
“Can you stop,” you whisper, feeling bad enough about it already.
“M’sorry, mama. Just givin’ you shit,” he grins. “You’re so pretty when you pout.” JJ leans in, pressing on your bottom lip, dragging it down slightly before leaning in for a gentle kiss. “I’ll stop.”
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You fiddle with your pen, trying to focus as your professor continues, but your mind is miles away. You peek around the large lecture hall, looking at the gathering of students sizing up each. It might be someone from campus… Someone in this room right now. Someone I might know.
Stop.
There are thousands of people in this town and on this campus alone. The likelihood that I’ll know him directly is slim to none. Or her? I should be paying attention. I have a test in two days.
BUZZ.
Your phone vibrates in your book bag, making you jump, your nerves clearly on edge.
JJ: What do you want from Cash Wise?
Shit. You look up from the glow of your phone, spinning yourself up further. There’s supposed to be a party later tonight— a Halloween party at the frat. It’s still on, or JJ wouldn’t ask what I want from the liquor store. Right? Maybe we’ll have a chill night in. Who am I kidding… Those boys don’t give a flying fuck about the curfew, and neither does anyone else.
In a few short hours, liquor would be pounded, loud music would be flooding street after street downtown, parties raging, and people would forget all about what was lurking outside—what horrors walk amongst them.
If this is genuinely a copycat killer, there’s no way he’s skipping Halloween night… Maybe I should stay back at my apartment. Fake sick and watch the news. It’s not like I’m going to stop a serial killer…
But what if it’s someone I know? What if it is one of the guys I see daily at the frat house? JJ and I are casual. As much as I like him, there’s no way he’ll miss out on a Halloween party for me, if I’m being brutally honest. Sure, he might roll by the house at 3 AM, blackout drunk to cozy up in my bed, but he’s not stayin’ in and watchin’ the local news… What if something happens to him?
I’m just spiraling… Maybe there is no pattern. Maybe the killer is done. Some psycho with a vendetta against Alexis and the two other students at the theater. The three could be connected… I don’t know. It doesn’t fucking matter. There’s no way he’s done. I can lie to myself all I’d like. Tonight, people are gonna die, it's just a matter of how many.
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There was no getting anything past JJ. He knew you weren't feeling sick. He knew you didn’t want to stay back for any other reason than to stand by and wait for the next story to drop. There was no way the boys were gonna let you skip either; they were gonna get you here one way or another.
If you didn't know better, you’d have no clue a masked man was terrorizing your city. Not here anyway… The energy in the room is infectious; laughter, music, and weed smoke fill the air. It’s just a fraction of the frat’s usual guest. Soon, this party’ll be wall-to-wall. JJ smiles at you, casually draping his muscular arm over your shoulders. A small, smug smile plays on his pink lips as he looks at his frat brother across the way. JJ’s ringed hand dips between your thighs, mouth pulled to your neck like a magnet, flaunting you in front of Rafe. “Fuckin’ shameless about it. Isn’t he?” JJ mumbles against the heat of your neck as he pokes fun at Rafe. He steals glances at you between his conversations with Kelce and Top, as he always does, his eyes lingering a little long taking in every inch of bare skin he's never seen before, studying the detail of your little Britney Spears costume.
Rafe finally makes his way over, sitting on your opposite side, making your heart beat faster. His pretty blue eyes twinkle as you match his gaze, the burly brunette giving you a panty-dropping smile. “I was a little worried there for a minute when you said you weren’t comin’,” he mumbles, recalling the texts from earlier as his eyes fall to your lips, watching a bashful smile form on yours. “I’m glad you could make it, princess.”
JJ chuckles, tightening his arm around you. “Don’t flatter yourself, man. She came for me,” he scoffs playfully.
”You look beautiful, y/n,” Rafe praises ignoring the blonde. JJ lifts his hand from your shoulder, thumping Rafe in the head.
“You’re testin’ me, Cameron. Stop tryin’ to steal my girl.”
Rafe smirks, leaning closer to you with a mischievous smile. “Can’t blame me for tryin’.” His eyes lift, matching yours; lips mere inches away. You can feel the warmth of Rafe’s breathing against your lips giving you the butterflies.
JJ reaches over, resting three plastic shot glasses on the coffee table before running them each so full of vodka that they spill over. “Oh, fuck,” he chuckles, already buzzing. He lifts the bottle to his lips, taking a swig. The clear liquid dribbles down his chin, landing on his orange shirt. His baby blue eyes match yours, giving you a playful wink. You feel your heart race a little faster as your eyes fall on his body: his costume hugging his athletic frame just right. His beachy, blonde locks are perfectly undone, his neck littered with fake tattoos.
Rafe’s hand rests on your thigh, just like JJ did, testing the waters, seeing how far he can get too, squeezing your bare leg. He moves a little closer, catching your eyes lingering a little too long on JJ, craving some of that attention for himself. His hand drifts a little lower, playing with the hem of your thigh-high stockings. You look back at Rafe: his beige locks brushed back off his face, just a little messy, letting his fridge fall casually on his forehead with a sailor’s hat sitting on the top. He snags his shot off the countertop, kicking his Noble loafers on the coffee table. He smirks as he reclines beside you, his velvet smoking jacket unintentionally pulling wider on his exposed chest. You look away fast, trying to hide your surprise as Rafe’s black satin pajama pants leave nothing to the imagination, letting you see the silhouette of what he’s hiding underneath.
“Fuck!” Rafe recoils as JJ flicks his fingers, snapping him right on the dick, making Rafe hiss out a pained breath.
“Stop bein’ such a slut, Cameron. Jesus fuck,” JJ snickers, nabbing Rafe shot off his hands as well, drowning it fast before Rafe can protest; the man still trying his best to catch his breath. You roll your eyes and shake your head, moving your shot glass over for Rafe before pouring another for yourself.
Rafe reaches over the back of you, punching JJ in the arm, making him grunt in pain, too. “Bitch,” Rafe clips.
“What are you supposed to be anyway?”
“Hugh Hefner, dumb fuck. N’aren’t you supposed to dress up? Seems like somethin’ you just pulled out of your closet.” Rafe plucks at the shoulder of JJ’s inmate costume. “That come with the Maybank starter pack or what?”
“Fuck you-”
“Fuck you.”
“Can we just drink?” You ask through a laugh, plucking both of their glasses off the table before passing them off and grabbing your own.
"You know, Cameron. It’s a dangerous game flirtin��� with someone else's girl,” JJ slurs as he lifts his glass slightly for a toast.
“Dangerous. Huh?” Rafe chuckles, lifting his glass as well. “What are you going to do about it, Maybank? Huh? Kill me?”
JJ smiles, rolling around Rafe’s words in his crooked mind, letting his question hang in the air momentarily. “Cheers.”
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JJ smiles at you from across the room, and at that moment, everything disappears. The music, the thick crowd, the bumping of the bass pouring from the speakers all fades away. His lust-dazed eyes are locked on your body, studying how you move from across the room. Your hands shift as you dance with your friends, teasing him with the hem of your pleated skirt, your body feeling absolutely electric under his gaze.
You spin, pigtails turning with you, cinched at the bottom with baby pink puffs. You're not sure how many shots you've swallowed at this point… A few mixed drinks and a colorful pink pill from Rafe's pocket later, and your buzzed head is heavy, floating somewhere between tipsy and completely gone. You shut your eyes, moving your hips to the beat in your chest, feeling your body shifting slower than before. The room turns as you glance at your friend, laughing dizzily, too gone to care.
Fuck. Your heart skips a beat, then races away as you see a flash of white in the corner of your eye. You fumble slightly over your heels, clutching your friend for support as you catch a tall figure in a Ghostface mask. Wet liquid splashes up from the foundation, wetting your ankles and feet as you drop your drink.
You slam your eyes shut, trying to calm down, feeling yourself sobering up fast. This is the longest I’ve gone without thinking about any of this. It could just be a costume… Of course, it could be. It’s Halloween… That’s been a popular movie since the 90’s. “Can you hear me?” Your friend screams over the noise, catching your attention, jarring you back to reality. “I said ‘are you alright’?”
“Mhmm…” You nod and smile as you start to move again.
You look around a little more, feeling your paranoia mount by the moment. Why that mask? Here? In this city after everything happened? It’s probably just some frat boy thinking it would be funny to dress up as the killer. Or, he could have already had the costume. It could have been a coincidence that he hadn't thought twice about since, too desensitized to even see the problem…
How could someone be so careless? I mean, we all are. Aren’t we? All of us were out when the university told us to stay in. All of us were wasted when the police said that going out tonight would be a bad fuckin’ idea. But what if they aren’t being careless? What if the person under that mask is the reason why three people are dead?
The hair on the back of your neck stands straight, the music of the party seems to grow a little louder—too fucking loud, making it impossible to think straight. You survey the room again, trying to convince yourself it’s just some asshole, wordlessly praying you’ll catch a college kid with his mask pulled back, sucking face with some sorority sweetheart.
Your pulse spikes as you lock eyes with him again, the Ghostfaced figure even closer than before. He’s standing there, perfectly still, unlike the people moving around him, making him seem even more out of place. He’s just staring… Lifeless. You yelp as you fall, this time missing your friends completely, as you're shoved to the floor. You stand up fast, head swiveling, watching as a tall figure pushes through the dense crowd.
Your look down at your hands caked in dirt and sticky with spilled liquor. Your unease settles in the pit of your stomach like a weight. There’s two? You look forward, catching your footing again, feeling your heart jump as the original figure from across the room’s gone. Your skin prickles with goosebumps as your thoughts get the better of you. “Fuck!” You gasp as you feel a hand wrap around your arm, pulling you back fast. You spin around, heart hammering in your chest, half expecting to see the masked man before you. “Jay,” you snivel.
“Hey, you okay?” He asks as he steps a little closer, seeing the concern in your eyes.
“Uh - Uh, yeah. I’m fine,” you assure as you look over your shoulder, watching one of JJ’s frat brothers pull a girl in for a kiss as she holds his Ghostface mask up for him. Breathe… The scene you painted to offer you some semblance of relief plays out before you. Relief washes over you like a wave. Holy shit.
“Baby?” JJ tries again as he grips your shoulders tightly, trying to ground you. Your heart pounds in your ears, competing with the deep bass radiating through the packed frat house.
“Yeah, J. I’m fine.” You force a smile. “I thought—“ You start to speak, but the words get caught in the lump still lingering in your throat. “I need to use the bathroom. I fell… My hands are covered in shit.”
“I’ll be right here. All right?”
You weave through the crowd, knees and ankles wobbling from your wicked cocktail of drunkenness and fear. You clench your fists, trying to steady yourself in the moment, kicking yourself for letting your guard down like you did. Wishing you could rewrite the night to have your wits about you as planned.
As you reach the staircase, you tug your phone out of your pocket, checking the time. It’s past 2 AM already. If you were right, and the Ghostface killer was going to take advantage of the night, he would have struck by now. You climb the stairs fast, heart pounding, lungs burning; senses amplified in the moment. You claw onto the wooden railing for support, finding yourself completely unsteady in your sky-high heels, looking down at each step to avoid missing one.
BUZZ. BUZZ. BUZZ.
You rummage for your phone again, pulling out the device only to see an unknown number. You slide your sticky finger across the screen, accepting the call as you sink to sit down on the stairs, gripping onto the handrail for backing.
“Hello?” You ask shakily.
“Hello, y/n…” Your eyes double in horror, as a familiar voice fills your ears. Ghostface.
“Who… Who is this?”
“Oh, come on. You don’t recognize me? You don't know this voice? Bet you've gotten off to it. Why are you being so shy?” He taunts you in that smug tone you've heard a million times over.
“This isn’t funny. Alright?”
“Funny? You think I’m jokin’? I’m closer than you think. Matter of fact. I can see you right now, y/n.” You suck in a quick breath, holding it in as you look around fast, quickly calling his bluff.
“Bullshit.”
“I’ve been watching you all night. Little skirt, heels, pigtails…” his voice menaces on, fading into the crowd behind him, that same song you hear echoing in the playback of the phone. He’s here.
“Leave me alone.”
“Oh, I’m not goin’ anywhere, y/n. You're playin’ the role you've always wanted!”
“I’m not scared of you.”
“BULLSHIT,” he spits with a wicked laugh. “You better lock that bathroom door. I’d hate for someone to come in and GUT YOU LIKE A FISH! Will you hurry the fuck up?” His last line comes out in a familiar tone, pulling out the rug from underneath you.
“JJ WHAT THE HELL?” You hiss, listening as he thanks his frat brother for letting him use his voice changer.
“Relax, Jesus.”
“That wasn’t funny!” You shout as you pull yourself to your feet again.
“C’mon, sugar. It was hilarious. M’just havin’ a little fun. Aight? Calm down. When you’re done freakin’ out, get your pretty ass back downstairs and party with me,” he lays on the fratccent heavy, irritating you further.
“M’mad at you,” you mumble as you scale the rest of the stairs.
“It’s Halloween, everyone's entitled to one good scare.”
“Shit!” Your breath catches in your throat as you slam straight into someone’s chest. You stumble back slightly, eyes wide as you teeter on the top of the stairs. Rafe’s large arms wrap around your waist, catching you before you can fall back.
“Hey. Hey, princess. Fuck. You alright?” He asks breathlessly. You nod quickly as he pulls you closer, leading you to a safer spot, his beautiful eyes gentle with concern.
“I - I…” You stammer. “M’just a little jumpy,” your words ramble together, shaky and weak. “I’m fine.” He looks down at you, cocking his eyebrow, not believing a word of it. You feel embarrassment creep in as you notice he’s with someone else, too.
“Whatever you say, sweetheart,” he respires, smiling as he nods, giving you the benefit of the doubt. “Have a great night.” Rafe wraps his arm around the stunning brunette's waist, guiding her down the stairs, leaving you alone at the top. You shove JJ’s door open, walking into the dark room, closing it softly behind you. Everything calms down; all of the sounds around you are truly quiet, the low roar of the party only bleeds through the bottom of the door, playing like white noise in the background.
You walk over to JJ’s nightstand, snatching the remote, flicking on the TV before walking to the foot of his bed, turning to the local news. The station casts shadows across the dark room and walls. There’s nothing new to report but reruns of the earlier findings… The reporters go on, focusing more on the lives of the victims versus the profile of the killer; the investigation seemingly at a standstill. The harsh reality quickly crushes the relief that you felt. If your gut feeling is correct, this isn’t over… It just hasn’t happened yet.
You roll onto your stomach, sinking into JJ’s bed, pulling out your phone, checking the rest of your sources. The music from the party outside becomes a little more noticeable, leaving you lifting your phone, pressing the speaker against your ear to hear the officers on the other end of the scanner. You snag JJ’s earbuds off his bedside table, pushing them in your ears, hearing the sound a little clearer.
Nothing… Nothing out of the norm as the two officers bitch about breaking up some college function uptown. All of this makes the situation more unnerving… The calm before the storm. A sudden jolt of terror surges through you as you’re yanked back to the edge of the bed, screaming in horror, quickly forced to your back, frozen in fear as you look up at two Ghostfaced figures looming above you. A scream bursts through your lips out of instinct, your body fighting its way back to the headboard. But it’s no use. A large hand comes to your throat, squeezing you tight, pinning you to the mattress, cutting off your airflow.
“Please, just-” You sputter and plead through trembling lips, reaching for a breath. They stand there ominously as you struggle, your heart thumping wildly in your chest. You glance toward the door, trying to shriek, but nothing comes out but a hoarse cry. One of them leans closer, his knife glinting in the low lighting. No. No. No. He lifts the blade, holding it to your neck. Your eyes pinch shut in fear, knowing if you move, you’ll get cut by the edge.
“Heard you’re into this shit, y/n? Is that true?” A mechanical voice comes out through the mask, dripping with mockery. You suck in a breath as you feel the cold blade of another knife slide across your hot skin between your button-up and skirt. Your body tenses up as the blade works higher and higher up your body, clicking along the metal hooks and eyes of your lingerie.
“Stop!” You plead as tears well in your eyes. “Please, leave me alone.” One of them chuckles deeply, the timbre of his voice making you sick with fear. “What do you want?” The second Ghostface leans down, making you hold your breath as you wait for your answer.
“We wanna make you scream.”
Your stomach churns, twisting at their words. He leans closer, the chilled plastic mask brushing against your skin. The familiar cologne has your eyes doubling in horror. “JJ?” His name flees your lips before you can even stop it. Your mind starts to race as you try to rationalize the situation. Is it him? Is JJ the killer? Or is it all part of some twisted game?
“Surprise,” he hisses distortedly, coming out like nails on a chalkboard.
“JJ, please! This isn’t funny!” You cry out, still unsure if this is reality or fantasy. “JJ STOP!” You sob, choking on your tears, and your chest heaves, emotion spilling down your cheeks onto the mattress below. “JJ don't kill me. Please. P-Please.”
“Baby… Baby… Hey. Calm down. Okay,” he breaks character, making you gasp for a breath.
“What the fuck!” You sob.
He leans down, wrapping his big body in yours. “Shh-Shh… M’sorry. Okay. I thought you’d like it, y/n. Took it a little too far. All right? I’m sorry,” he whispers before pulling his mask back, letting you see his handsome, guilty face. Your bottom lip trembles as you look back up at him, scared shitless, your adrenaline and heart surging like you just took a bump. Your body, riding a vicious high. “I'm mean. I'm so fucking mean. That wasn’t right. Forgive me?” He asks through a breathy laugh as he peppers kisses along your tear-soaked cheek. You smack your hands against his chest in frustration, pushing him away but he crushes you under the weight of his big body, looking down at you with a smile that you could never stay mad at. “C’mon, princess…”
“Fine.”
“Atta girl,” he mumbles as he buries himself in your neck, giving you a big hug.
“What were you thinking?” You sniffle.
“What was I thinkin’? My girl’s a fuckin’ freak… Why not give her what I know she wants? You should be thankin’ me.”
“Thanking you? You scared the hell outta me,” you huff.
“That, pretty girl, was the plan. Now, will you let us have a little fun with you, mama? Or, are you gonna keep poutin’?” You look up at JJ, the fear that was gripping you moments before fading away into something different. Your heart’s still racing—fear exchanged for pure, unadulterated desire. JJ lowers the knife, tracing it up your thigh slowly. He takes the flat end, making you draw breath as he slides the cold blade against your soaked panties, pulling it up to check the mess. You see a hint of your arousal glistening on the blade already. “Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.” He tuts, twirling it between his fingers. “Fuck you’re a slut... Tongue,” he orders. You submit to him as you lay out your tongue, looking up at him through your lashes. JJ sets the smooth side of the blade against your tongue, sliding it slowly, letting you taste yourself. Your pussy throbs, surprising yourself with how much you desire this blend of fear and passion.
You focus on the other Ghostface in the room, haunting above. His sheer size— that undeniable swagger even with a cloak and mask on. “Rafe?” He nods.
“You think I was going to turn down this? You know how much fun it is to scare you, baby?” He asks in a wicked tone that has your thighs drawing together with want. “Think we all know how bad I want you…” The big frat boy confesses behind the mask still drawn over his handsome face.
“You okay with Rafe bein’ here too,” JJ asks, his dark, deep voice vibrating against the shell of your ear.
“Mhmm…” You hum as you lean into him a little more.
“Words, baby.”
“Yes, Jay,” you respond as you grab JJ’s mask off the crown of his blonde mess of hair, kissing him on the lips before pulling it down over his face and making him laugh.
“You gonna let me fuck you, princess?” Rafe asks, and you swear you can hear the smirk on his lips. He tears off the black cape, stripping off his cigar jacket. You study Rafe’s flawless body, his muscular chest, and chiseled abs. A Ghostface mask, black satin pants, and some white Calvin Klein’s boxers are all that remains.
“Well…” You answer hesitantly, wanting to say ‘yes,’ but you and JJ honestly hadn’t talked about it before; you only talked about being casual. Why else would Rafe be here if it wasn't alright with JJ?
“Wouldn’t be a scream fantasy if there weren’t two dicks, now would it?” JJ answers Rafe on your behalf, knowing you were hoping that’s what he would do, as he strips off his cape, too. He snaps open his inmate uniform, popping each of the buttons open nice and slow, exposing more and more skin, leaving you throbbing.
“Guess you’re right,” you whisper in a mesmerized state.
“Mhmm, doll. You want his cock and mine? Don’t worry, I won’t be mad. I’ve always wanted to see how much my girl can take. Just say it.” Fuck. You let out a soft whine, realizing you’re not the only one living their fantasy.
“I want your cock and his. You - You can do whatever you want to me-”
“Anything?” JJ answers your babbling.
“I know the safe word, Jayj. Bet you can’t make me say it,” you taunt, surprising yourself with your words. The mood shifts at your comment, the once playful banter turning dark in a second. That was a challenge he was more than willing to accept. The two laugh cruelly, looking down at you as their prey. JJ’s head tilts slightly. Before you can react, Rafe takes his knife, slicing through the little knot at your waist, cutting open your button-up shirt. JJ rests the cool metal against the heat of your stomach, swiftly snapping his wrist, cutting through your delicate lace bra, leaving you fully exposed on the mattress. You can hear Rafe moan behind the mask, finally getting the glimpse of you he’s always wanted to see.
“Look at you,” Rafe sighs, his voice dripping with desire. “So fuckin’ beautiful. Jesus. I was fuckin’ right. Wasn’t I?” Rafe speaks to you with the deep hunger of a man who’s been starved. You can tell as much as he can wait to ruin you with JJ he’d love to be the one to fulfill all your needs single-handedly, but he’ll settle for the second-best thing. “You’re really into this scary stuff, aren’t you?”
“Mmm… Mhmm… She is. She’s a fuckin’ freak,” JJ hums as he cuts you out of your skirt as well. “Just like me.” You gasp as Rafe wraps his big hand around your throat, your hands instantly drawing to his wrist as he drags you to your feet. He pulls back his mask with his other hand, bringing it back just enough to claim your lips in a passionate kiss.
Rafe kisses you deeply, taking your breath away, the type of urgency that drives you mad just knowing how bad he wants you and how worried he is that JJ would change his mind still. Rafe pulls away suddenly, leaving you panting for a breath. When you open your eyes again, his mask is in place. You gasp in surprise again as JJ’s big hand takes hold of your head from behind, pressing you down to your knees before you can even think straight.
Your heart starts to speed up as both boys reach for their pants. Rafe pinches the soft material in his rough fingers, tugging it down his muscular thighs as JJ works on his. The textiles all fall to puddles at their feet. You reach up, cupping both of their cocks through the tight cotton material of their boxers, making both boys release a hungry groan as you squeeze their big dicks in your slight hands, feeling yourself already soaking through your panties.
You help JJ out of his boxers with a smile before moving on to Rafe, doing the same. Wrapping your fingers around their cocks you watch as their heads fall back almost in synch, abs clenching tight with the first stroke, the both of them stepping a little closer, wanting your warm, wet mouth around them.
You look up at Rafe, your mouth falling open as you feel JJ's swollen tip press against your plush, parted lips. You tease his tip with a kitten lick, making him grab hold of your head, guiding his dick deep in your throat. You take care of Rafe with your hand, pleasing JJ with your mouth, and taste his salty precum glazing your tongue.
Rafe takes a similar hold on your head, pulling you off JJ’s cock, yanking you toward his. “Fuckin’ lick that shit,” Rafe hums. You look down at the slit on his tip, watching a mess of precum seeping out the blushed head of his cock. You flick your tongue across, swirling it for good measure. Rafe’s fat head rams into the back of your throat, making your eyes prick with tears. The wet rolls heavily down your cheeks. You get pulled off again, even rougher than before. JJ grabs both braids in his large, ringed hands, using your mouth like a toy.
“Mine,” Rafe hisses. “Don’t you know how to fuckin’ share?” JJ releases you with a cocky laugh; the two pass your head back and forth ‘til you are a cock drunk mess of tears and moans. Tears block your vision. You try your best to blink them away as you feel both men using your mouth at the same time, alternating between strokes, fighting for space as they see how far they can push you.
Your eyes double as Rafe’s large hand pinches your nose closed. You reach out, gripping their legs, squeezing tightly, and letting your nails dig into the thick thighs. “M’fuckkk,” JJ moans intensely, his muscles trembling under your grasp. Rafe pulls off your nose, leaving you open-mouthed and sputtering for a breath.
“Keep your mouth open, slut,” Rafe rasps, delivering a rough slap to your cheek. You brush your hands over your eyes, flattening your tongue as the boys stroke their long, thick cocks fiercely. Their moans and praise fill the room as cum spurts from their throbbing tips, painting your cheeks, tongue, and mouth as you try to recover from the lack of oxygen. JJ grabs the back of your head, fingers twisting in your braid, lifting your face to look up at the two of their masked faces. Rafe grabs your cheeks harshly as well, rubbing his rough thumb across your lips, catching the cum on his finger before stuffing it in your mouth. You suck on his digit, cleaning up the rest of the mess. “Atta baby. Fuckin’ cum slut aren't you?”
“Mhmm…” You moan around his thumb.
“Tell him what you are, princess,” JJ mumbles as he tugs your hair, making your back arch slightly, tits perking up.
“M’a cum slut, daddies.”
“Daddies,” Rafe drawls in a charmed tone, loving his new title as JJ tugs you to your feet. He keeps his hold on you, pinning your arms behind your back with one hand, using the other arm to wrap around your throat, turning you toward Rafe.
Tears still brim at your waterline from a mix of excitement and defenselessness, doing nothing but turning Rafe on more. Your emotion trails down your hot cheeks, catching your makeup as it runs in little rivers. Your heart races wildly as it has been for days; this time in the throws of a fantasy.
The air is charged with tension as Rafe walks closer, lifting his mask slightly to lick along the side of your neck before biting down hard, making you cry. His hand reaches up, slamming over your pillowy lips. “You better shut the fuck up, princess. Don't want the boys to think we’re doin’ anything but pleasin’ this whore pussy. Hmm? I'd hate to stop. Wouldn't you?” He asks, tearing your panties away in the same breath. Rafe reaches over to the mattress. You go to look, but JJ squeezes your neck, forcing you still.
“Where do you think you're goin’? Huh?” He laughs against your neck.
“Put her on the bed, pin her wrists, we got ourselves a squirmer,” Rafe mocks before slapping your wet cunt, making you do just that. You suck in a breath as JJ squeezes you firmly, tearing you back before shoving you down on the mattress face first. He snatches your body with his strong hands, manhandeling you to your back before mounting the bed. He clambers to the head, holding your wrists, yanking you higher, before tacking your wrists to the bed.
Rafe walks toward you slowly, twirling the dagger between his big fingers. You feel your body tremble with adrenaline—the cold blade presses against your skin, making you whine. Before you can think, he turns it slightly, nicking your skin, making a small cut just enough to sting. A weak cry escapes your soft lips, awakening something primal in you. You lift your head off the bed, watching the blood bead on the tiny wound. Rafe lifts his mask, lowering himself to your inner thigh, sucking gently, breaking you out in a cold sweat as pleasure mixes with pain.
"Fuck, you taste like heaven," he mumbles, still close to your skin. The warmth of his admission fanning across your skin.
“You should taste her pussy,” JJ rasps.
“Yeah, buddy. She got a sweet little cunt?” He asks like you're not even there.
“Fuckin’ perfect.”
His focus drops to yours, making your eyes widen. “N’I bet you want that pretty pussy ate. Don't you?” He asks as he draws the knife across JJ’s bed, the sharp tip facing down, scraping against the comforter, working higher and higher. You let out his name shakily as he pushes the flat edge against your pussy hard, even the slightest contact making you cry out. Rafe lifts the knife, running that same edge against his tongue before lowering himself on the mattress.
Rafe massages your inner thighs with his big hands, splaying you wide as JJ's rough hands trace down your body grabbing your tits, pressing them together for his frat brother. JJ slaps your breasts, making your thighs pull in; Rafe’s strong arms loop around your thighs, forcing you to stay still. “The fuck did I say, Maybank. She’s a goddamn squirmer. Move again, pretty. I dare you,” Rafe warns, his dirty threats vibrating against your soaked core.
“Jay,” you whimper as JJ's fingers pinch your nipples, twisting hard, making you squeal and shift with overstimulation.
“No. No. Fuck, baby.” Rafe chides.
“Thought you wanted his mouth, mama. Why aren’t you listening? Huh?” JJ digs as Rafe grabs the knife again. He sheathes the blade in his leather holder before turning around. Your eyes widen as he slowly traces the handle up your thigh.
“Wh-What are you-Fuckkk…” Your question gets swallowed up in a moan as Rafe plunges the handle of the knife into your tight hole, fucking you with the weapon. The curved grip hits your sweet spot, eliciting the prettiest moans from your pillowy lips.
“Mmm’so fuckin’ soaked, y/n,” Rafe murmurs drunkenly as he watches it glide in and out. You whimper pathetically as you look down at him with doe-eyes, then back up at Jay.
“C’mon, princess. Fuckin’ manners. Say you’re sorry for not listening. Let Rafe know you’ll do whatever it takes.”
“I’ll do what - whatever it takes,” you nod rapidly as you look down at the masked man between your thighs. “I’m sorry.”
“Whatever it takes. I like that sound,” Rafe mumbles as he lifts his mask. “Based off those pretty, little sounds you we’re makin’ a few nights back, princess… I don’t think you can handle what I want,” Rafe chuckles darkly before spitting on your pearl, pinching and rubbing your clit.
“Do we care, Rafe?” JJ asks, making your eyes widen, rolling back a moment later as Rafe's plush lips suck down on your bud.
“Fuck!” You cry in a hoarse whine as Rafe assaults your pussy with his mouth and knife. JJ drops your hands, looking down at you from above. You panic as he reaches for his knife instead, resting the narrow side of his blade against your throat.
“Don’t fucking move,” he warns; you take two fistfuls of sheets as your pleasure builds, your damn threatening to break at any second.
Rafe pulls out the weapon, replacing the butt of the blade with the smoothness of his warm tongue. His big thumb rolls on your clit. “M’gonna cum. Fuck. Mpfhh,” you hiccup and gasp, trying to stay still.
“It’ll hurt if you move, baby doll,” JJ barbs, his voice oozing with condescension.
“Oh my god,” you pant as your muscles lock tight, your voice coming out in a broken string of curse words as you pulse around Rafe’s tongue again and again. He moans into your pussy, pleasing you until the very last moment. Rafe runs the back of his hand against his chin, shined with your sweet release.
“She’s got the sloppiest fuckin’ pussy,” JJ praises in his southern drawl.
“She’s a filthy little whore. That’s for sure,” Rafe smiles. “So fucking sweet, baby.”
“Mhmm… Still dripping ‘n she probably already wants to get fucked dumb.”
“What was that little dig before, buddy? ‘Bet you can make me say it…’” Rafe softens his tone, mimicking yours.
“‘Bet you can’t make me say it’,” JJ tries on your voice as well, taunting you further.
“Stuff two dicks in her cunt, and she might be eatin’ her words,” Rafe laughs as he pulls you off the mattress, pressing your heaving chest against his. His hard cock stands painfully straight, snuggled between your thighs as you try to compute what he just said.
“If she starts crying, just cover her mouth, Cameron.”
“Good fuckin’ point,” Rafe groans, and you just wish you could see the fever in his blue eyes. He grabs your hips, turning you around fast. JJ’s already got his cock in his fist, just waiting for you to sink on his tip.
“Rafe was right, doll… Two dicks,” JJ sighs. “Had you cryin’ off one. What do you think’s gonna happen with two? Huh?”
“Split her shit in two probably,” Rafe laughs as he squeezes the fullness of your hips in his massive hands. You lower yourself down on his length, your head falling back on Rafe's chest as you take him fully. Your hand draws to your stomach already feeling full, JJ’s dick big enough on its own. You squeak out a cry as JJ wrap his hand around your throat, using the other to tear off his mask before pulling you down to his lips. You lay flat on his chest as his tongue roll with yours, kissing you sloppily as Rafe's big hands paw at your ass cheeks. “Ready baby, JJ,” mutters.
“Uh-huh,” you mumble as Rafe bullies his swollen tip at your greedy hole as well. JJ grabs your hips, lifting you off his cock, giving Rafe a shot.
Rafe sinks in, long and deep, plunging into your fluttering core before yanking himself out altogether, making you clutch his wrists. “Been holdin’ out on me, Maybank. S’fuckin’ heaven,” Rafe rasps from behind. He grabs your hips, pistoning into you, making you fall forward from his rough thrusts as you cry out in pleasure, delivering backshot after backshot.
Rafe pulls out, leaving you empty for a moment; JJ quickly nestles himself in again the next. You rest your heavy head on JJ’s chest, watching over your shoulder as Rafe’s fat cock pushes in, too, making you wail in pain and pleasure. You bury your face in the blonde's body as they start to stroke, settling on a rhythm just to change the pattern, only leaving you more of a mess. Your soaked pussy pulls them in, swallowing them up, making both men moan and grunt with each motion.
Rafe lifts his hand, bringing it down to slap the curve of your ass as JJ snakes his hand down, toying with your clit. Rafe spats on you again, dropping a dollop of spit onto your taut hole. You bite your lip and shake your head. ‘No,’ the safe word is right on the tip of your tongue, and you're unsure if your body can take any more. “Ja- JJ-” Rafe’s large hand clamps over your mouth as his other thumb presses into your asshole.
“Shut the fuck up and fuckin’ cum,” JJ smiles. Your eyes roll back in your skull as you’re set flying over the edge. Your pussy gushes around their cocks as they pump you to the hilt. Rafe groans in pleasure, gripping your hips, forcing his cock as deep as it’ll go as JJ does the same. You feel their warm cum mixing with yours; your puffy, pink pussy so full you burst at the seams. Your eyes flutter shut as you soften into JJ’s chest, feeling like you could pass out.
Rafe moves first, leaving you a blubbering mess as the ridges of his big cock, slide out of your cum-stained walls. JJ pulls out a second, Rafe quickly tugging your ass cheeks apart, watching the cum seep out of your glassy slit onto the bed below. “Told ya she was a freak,” JJ hums against your kiss-bitten lips, sucking off the bottom as you flutter your lashes, fighting for consciousness.
“Just fuckin’ perfect for us. Aren’t you, princess?”
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“JJ doesn’t deserve you,” Rafe whispers, his gaze intense as he brushes a thumb gently across your cheek, cleaning up what remains of the mascara mess. “You’re stunning, even like this. You know?” He praises.
“She knows, man,” JJ scoffs, making Rafe smirk.
“We’re doin’ that shit again, princess,” he leans in, giving you a gentle kiss. “With or without him. N’I'd prefer without.”
“The fuck, Rafe?” JJ grumbles sleepily as he wraps his arm over you, nuzzling your neck. “You wanna do that again, baby?”
“Mpfhh… Yeah. Take off your clothes,” you hum as you tug at the bottom of Rafe’s shirt, making both boys release sleazy laughs, pretty proud of themselves for how good they made you feel. Rafe moves closer, using the contract as an excuse to steal another kiss.
“Don’t tempt me... Text me when he goes to bed. Yeah?”
“Do you ever quit?” JJ yawns, shoving Rafe’s face away from yours.
“You two stayin’ in?” Rafe asks as he slips into one of JJ’s t-shirts, impossibly tight on his broad chest and thick biceps.
“You leavin’?” JJ asks curiously.
“Might go to Slice. I might go to Lambda Nu. Feelin’ a little worn out. M’hungry as all fuck.”
“Bring us back some pizza. Yeah?” JJ yawns. Rafe shoots him a look, knowing he’s two minutes from passing the fuck out. Rafe pulls the black cloak over his shoulders, giving you a wink as he pushes his bangs back, tugging on his Ghostface mask again.
“You wear a costume. You get a free slice. You owe me for yours, Maybank. I’ll get you whatever you’d like, princess,” he croons. Rafe walks over to you one last time, lowering himself to your lips before lifting his mask just enough to kiss you a little deeper this time, setting your heart ablaze. “Can't stop kissin’ you now that I started.”
“JJ didn't say if he’d kill you or not. You better stop,” you flirt as your lips brush against his, sucking off his bottom lip.
“Fuck, I'd like to see him try… Goodnight, baby.”
“Goodnight. Thank you.”
He chuckles against your lips. “You thankin’ me? What are you thankin’ me for? Huh? Best pussy I’ve ever had-”
“Fuck off, Cameron.” JJ shoves Rafe harder than before, making Rafe lower his mask before lifting his hands in surrender.
“Good night.”
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You can’t help but smile, still caught in the afterglow. The sex was so raw and rough, leaving you completely wrecked in the most blissful sense of the word. You turn to JJ, catching him watching you with a warmth in his eyes. He leans in, pressing a soft kiss against your lips.
JJ reaches over to his nightstand, tugging open a drawer, pulling out a joint. “What do you say, princess?” He asks as a mischievous smile spreads across his lips, matching yours.
The two of you make your way across his dimly lit room, tugging open the window; the lingering smell of sex wafts away, exchanging for the cool night air as JJ helps you onto the roof. The party continues to thump below, just background noise.
JJ flicks his BIC, lighting the joint, the flame briefly illuminating his features before he takes a long, satisfying haul. He puffs one more time before passing it to you. You lift it to your lips, tagging a drag, feeling the thick smoke circle in your lungs. “Not a bad night. Huh?” He asks fishing for compliments that you’ll more than happy to give.
“That was a fucking fantasy, Jay,” you smile as you lay back on the rough roof, watching the stars twinkle above you.
“I’m glad. Got kinda wild in there, baby girl. You okay?” He asks sweetly. You feed him the joint, resting it between his soft lips before turning toward him, playing with his fluffy blonde hair.
“I’m more than okay, Jay.”
“N’you were okay with Rafe bein’ there?” JJ asks.
More than okay with that too… You take a little breath as you grapple with that thought. “Mhmm…Yeah. Were you?” You ask, watching smoke seep out of his mouth; his lips tugging to the side a little.
He bites his cheek, looking away, fighting with the part of himself that actually wants to feel something. “Well, I… Shit. Sorry. I umm… I kinda got jealous. Not gonna lie. Usually, like Rafe flirtin’ with you ‘cause you're mine at the end of the day. Call me evil, but I fuckin’ love that shit,” he rambles as he studies the joint between his finger, eyeing the dent the two of you’ve already made in it. “Casual. I mean, I wanted that. No strings attached. But who am I kidding? We both know that ain’t true.”
“I mean you do keep callin’ me yours, Jay.”
“N’you’re not?” He questions, lifting his eyebrows playfully.
“‘Course I am,” you smile, and you mean it, but not in the way that you did before. There’s this pull now, two forces at play inside you, Rafe and JJ, the two tugging your heart both ways. You’ve wanted this for a while now, but it doesn’t feel as sweet. It took seeing you with someone else to make JJ feel like maybe he wanted more.
Jealousy? He’s the one who wanted casual, who insisted on no strings, and now he’s upset about the strings he’s suddenly tangled in. There was always that line that I could see with Rafe. The one that I had yet to cross, knowing that if I did, there would be no turning back. I’ve more than crossed it after tonight… And I don’t know if I want to go back.
You look away as well, trying to gather your muddled thoughts as you sort through the mess. “We don’t have to talk about that now, sweetheart,” he quickly pivots before sucking down a little more of the joint. “Look at you, relaxin’ n’ shit,” he rasps on his exhale.
“Who knew it would only take a threesome to get me out of my head?” You humor him, moving on to the next conversation.
“Anything new?” JJ asks as he nods to your phone, faux curiosity, in an attempt to divert you further. Hoping you’ll forget all about the little jealousy talk. You shrug and grab your device, pulling open the police scanner app, listening to the crackling of static through the speakers.
It’s a barrage of chatter: dispatchers and cops talking about the usual complaints. “Nothing new.” You take a pull from the joint, smoke curling around you like a ghostly fog smudging out the stars overhead. “Do you think Rafe is going to get us pizza? I’m hungry.”
“Probably for you,” JJ chuckles, rolling his eyes away.
“There’s a party at the Beta Chi house on Woodsboro Street.” A voice whizzes through the scanner, catching your attention.
“No,” JJ groans, throwing a little fit and stamping the ember end on the roof. “God damnit.”
“How many we got?” The police officer chirps.
“Over a hundred,” the dispatcher adds, commenting on the horde of college students gathered inside and on the lawn.
“Thought we had two units on College Row?” The officer asks.
“They’re responding to a break-in two blocks north at the cross street of Weathers and Loomis.”
“Jesus,” JJ huffs. “A hundred?”
“Possible fight. Send an extra car.”
“Fuck, I hate missin’ a fight,” JJ sits up, looking out at the sea of students still partying, seeing if he can catch some of the action.
Just another night. You laugh weakly before taking a deep breath, looking up at the night again; the weed smoke clears, giving you the perfect view of the star-sprinkled sky. JJ reaches out, intertwining his fingers in yours before laying back again.
A blood-curdling scream pierces the night air. Your heart drops as you sit up straight, looking over the roof's edge. Panic surges through the crowd below as people scatter in every direction, sprinting away. The police sirens wail in the distance, moving closer and closer as the party music drowns out the circus below. “Call the cops!” “Get the fuck out!” “Move. Move!” “Run.” “Somebody got stabbed!” “He’s got a knife!”
“Stabbed?” JJ breathes. Everything below you melts together as people spill out of the house like ants, pushing, shouting, and scattering in every direction. Cars swerve on College Row, skirting around students, fleeing for safety. Red and blue lights come into view, cutting through the dim. You look down on the crowd, watching as a figure emerges, cutting through the thick—draped in a black cape.
Your breath catches in your chest as you see a knife, glistening with crimson red, clutched in his big hand. Blood drips from the blade; he quickly wipes it away on his cape as he steps off the curb onto the road—a blue Jeep. Your eyes double as you see the driver and the other person in the car waiting, both wearing masks. You look down at the masked man’s feet, black satin pants dusting along the ground. Your heart rate climbs as the pieces clink together.
“All units, we have reports of a stabbing at the frat house: multiple victims, multiple suspects fleeing the scene. Proceed with caution. Repeat, proceed with caution!”
Rafe, Topper, and Kelce…
The scanner crackles again, breaking your thoughts. “Suspect is described as wearing a Ghostface mask, last seen heading east on Woodsboro Street in a black truck. All units, be on the lookout.”
Oh my god. You’re paralyzed as Rafe turns, locking eyes with you, waiting to see if you’ll react. He stalls until the last possible moment, banging his fist against the side of the Jeep in frustration before sinking into the vehicle, the three speeding off fast.
“What are you doing?” You ask JJ in a panic. His face glows in the light of his phone as he opens his call log, dialing out for Rafe.
“I need to make sure Rafe’s okay.”
A strange numbness settles over you as you realize he didn't see what you saw. You can hear the muffled dial tone ring. Rafe picks up almost instantly, his voice coming through the speaker with that familiar lazy charm. “The fuck do you want, bitch?” He taunts.
“Where-”
“Tell y/n the pizza she wants is burnt to shit, but I’ll wait until ‘til they make a new one. Aight?” Rafe cuts JJ short.
“Thank god, man,” JJ sighs in relief, burying his head in his hand. “Holy fuckin’ shit-”
“The hell’s goin’ on?” Rafe asks.
“Somebody got stabbed. A few people? We don’t know how many. We’re on the roof.”
“Stabbed?” Rafe asks in disbelief. He’s good… So good that, for a split second, you question what you know you saw: Thornton’s Jeep, three big bodies, a pair of Noble Loafers, and black satin pants. That’s Rafe’s knife… That blood was fresh. “Is y/n okay?” He asks protectively. “Can I talk to her?”
“Yeah, man. She’s good. Just shaken up. ‘Course you can talk to her.” JJ passes the phone to you, your hand trembling and clammy as you lift it to your ear.
“Baby?” Your stomach sinks, chills running down your spine as you hear his deep voice. “Are you okay?” He asks as a test; a probe, to see if you’ll break. You take a deep, jagged breath, steadying yourself, forcing the words past your lips.
“I’m okay.” The lie comes easily, slipping into place like it belongs there.
“That’s good, princess,” his voice softens, quiet enough, reserved for your ears only. “You’re not gonna say anything, are you?” He asks, and just like before, when you could hear his smile under the mask.
“No,” you whisper, and you mean it. You hear his deep, raspy laugh swell on the other side.
“That’s my girl.”
🔪🔪 𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝖊𝖓𝖉. 🔪🔪
𝖒𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙
𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚘 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚢 𝙺𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚝𝚘𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚜! 𝙸 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚞𝚙𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝. 𝙰𝚕𝚜𝚘, 𝚊 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚜 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕. 𝚈𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚖𝚊𝚣𝚒𝚗𝚐! 𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚛𝚞𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝙳𝚎𝚌𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚓𝚘𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝙷𝚘𝚕𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚂𝚕𝚞𝚝𝚊𝚌𝚞𝚕𝚊𝚛
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slutofpsh · 5 months ago
Text
strip for me.
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part five | lhs.
pairings: hyungline x reader
synopsis: hyung line got you trapped in a situation that you can’t get away from.
wc: 8k
warnings: smut, minors dni, fivesome, bullying (not promoting violence or bullying), degrading, raw sex (please use protection), dirty talks, curses, masturbation, hyung line being mean. this is not proof read.
note: lee heeseung’s solo part. next one will be jay’s. thank you so much for supporting my works and loving strip for me series. also, this doesn’t have heavy smut since i want to show the boy’s affection with reader outside the bed even more. anyway, reblogs and replies are highly encouraged.
part one; two; three; four
slutofpsh 2024 © all rights reserved.
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you got sick the day after. maybe because your body got overwhelmed and didn’t expect that kind of activity. they let you rest for as long as you like until you finally regained your senses.
it was almost 10 pm when heeseung drove you home. both of you silent throughout the drive. heeseung’s glancing at you from time to time, but you refused looking at him.
your mom isn’t really skeptical about it. its also a good thing that she didn’t wonder why the hell did you get sick the day after because you have no idea what will you tell her.
today’s saturday. you skipped school yesterday and just laid on your bed the whole time.
your mind is still occupied by the big question: ‘what are you for those boys?’
they did took care of you that definitely ruin the whole concept of you being their toy and made you confused. the switch up is totally odd as well. they’re always so rude and harsh towards you, then suddenly they went soft and gentle.
that tho, didn’t change the fact that you felt used. (name)’s words kept repeating inside your mind like a broken radio.
a faint knock on your bedroom door snaps you out of you thoughts.
“y/n?” its your mom. “you have visitors. your friends are here.” she announced that draws your brows together.
“friends?” you’re beyond confuse.
nobody ever visited you, and more importantly, what friends? while feeling a little disoriented, you forced yourself out of the bed then faced the mirror once.
the smile on your mother’s face is bright, looking so delighted. she feels excited by this visit she’s referring to, you can tell by how she ushered you down the staircase.
“mom, wait.” you tried calming her down because you can’t think properly on who those friends she’s talking about.
“come on! they’re waiting.” and finally, you made it to the last step then she almost drag you to the spacious living room.
your lips gapped when you saw them dominates the sofa set by the middle. its just the four of them but it seem too crowded. maybe because they’re all so tall and now the average looking sofa looks a bit small for them.
they all whipped their heads on your direction the moment you stepped inside. you cannot exactly tell the look on their faces. your mom smiles and tugs your arm lightly.
“they said they’ve been worried, sweetie. why didn’t you told them that you’re sick?” she pouts.
you blinked, pushing the tears back inside your eyes. its a bit annoying. how you planned to ignore them after what happened and now you can feel your heart warms up just by seeing them here. how all the courage to finally end it dissipates along with your anger for the four fine men in front of you.
its kind of sickening. you find yourself pathetic for actually letting them affect you this way. they make you feel worthless, but at the same time they’re the only ones who can make you feel special.
“i’m s-sorry, it slipped off my mind.” you sniffed and tried to hide the real emotion through a half-smile.
your mom totally bought that reason. she hums and then she can hear a faint ringing from the other side of the house.
“oh! that must be my workmate. i’ll leave you guys here, okay? i will order food for you guys.” she coos and then exits the living room, leaving you alone with them.
their eyes settles at you, flashing with an foreign look on it. that made you feel uneasy so you glanced away.
“sweets,” jake was the first one to approach you closer, reaching for your arm.
his heart sank when you yank it back, declining his affection. he looks surprised and he wanted to try again, but he doesn’t want to push it.
“why are y-you here?” your voice cracks and looked at them one by one.
jay looks concerned, heeseung have his usual calm composure and sunghoon’s brows are furrowed. you can’t tell if he’s mad or worried. he stood up, stopping himself to advance towards you. he doesn’t want to scare you.
“we just want to check on you...” sunghoon says in his softest tone. he licked his lips, blinking multiple times to try and calm himself.
your view of sunghoon got covered when jake steps closer, his brows furrowed hardly and eyes glistening with sadness. his hand hangs mid way, attempting to get in touch of you, craving it.
“we got worried when you skipped class yesterday. we tried to call you, sweetheart.” jake looks desperate. it slightly broke your heart seeing him this way. his mischievous smile long gone.
“but you ignored all of us...” it was jay who talked this time.
you gave him a short glance. the stare stays for a while before you pursed your lips to sigh heavily. chest tightens and mind all messed up.
“what happened, sweets?” jake steps closer.
out of all of them, he’s the most touch deprived. one day without you and he’s all over the place. not to mention that you’ve been ignoring all of them. none of their attempts to contact you became successful and its sending him in distress.
you glanced at him then took a step backward. it pinned him on his position, eyes blank. jake looks in pain, but you looked much worst.
heeseung may seem calm, but behind this composed demeanour is his mind being a mess. he’s in panic. he never seen you this way and honestly he’s not prepared. he gulps and tries to gather himself.
“jake...” he calls his friend to stop him from advancing more.
as expected, he didn’t listen and attempts to take another step but a tear escaping your eye is what halts him from doing so. they never seen you this bothered and terrified before.
“sweets...” jake almost chokes on air when he softly tries to call you.
“p-please leave.” your breaths heavy, and chest painful from thinking that you’ll be ending what you have with them
its messed up. its very wrong. the set up is fucked up, but you can’t deny that you’ve gained more than you lost from this—whatever you call this.
it may sound exaggerated, but you think you saw all of their faces lose color. their eyes flickers fear and shoulders hangs low after hearing what you said.
“s-sweets...” jake’s voice cracks, trying to earn some sympathy. he never done that. he isn’t someone so weak. he always know where he stand and his power he holds over people. but not at the moment, specially not in front of you.
heeseung clenches his jaw to hide his trembling lips. he unclasped his fist, realizing he’s been doing that ever since you’ve walked inside the room.
jay’s in shambles. he doesn’t know what to feel at the moment. he’s always been the nonchalant one. never shown that there’s a weak spot in him. but now that you seem to be slipping away from him, he’s lost. he can feel his heart aching, hands shaking and breaths shorten.
sunghoon’s silent. his eyes never left you, fists balled tightly. he’s cursing himself. for being so ruthless and aggressive. he’s blaming it all to him and his friends. they’re so selfish. and you’re just too perfect. you did nothing wrong. it was all on them.
“y/n,” heeseung licks his lips and this time he trudges closer. jake glances at him, eyes full of hope. maybe his heeseung hyung can fix this mess. he can, right? that’s what echoes inside his mind.
“angel...” he gulps and you noticed how he’s a little off right now. he’s far from the reserve and calm, heeseung you’re used to.
he looks... anxious. the fear and trepidation flashes clearly through his eyes. something you’ve never seen before.
“tell me what’s wrong, hmm? we’ll talk about it.” he says using his calmest tone. “we’ll figure things out.”
that caught you off-guard. if there’s something about these four men have in common is that they love being in control of you. they get off seeing fear and watching you submit to them.
so to hear him saying those words are new for you. talk? will they really listen? what if they just laugh at you if you opened it up to them.
those questions clouded your mind to the point that you didn’t notice jake approaching closer. heeseung wanted to stop him, but he knew there’s no preventing jake from getting close. its either he lets him or he’ll completely lose it.
jake’s warm hands wraps over your wrist is what snaps you back in to your senses.
“sweets...” he calls you. his eyes scanned your face and wait if you’ll resist his affection once again.
he gulps, hope igniting when you didn’t shove his hold off. he took a step closer and this time cups your face. your cheeks warm that sent comfort to jake.
“tell us what’s wrong...” he whispers, pleading. he rest his forehead on top of yours and shut his eyes. “please.” he added.
that made you cry. because you got scared. you’re afraid to confront them because it may end everything.
“what a-am i to you, really?” you started that caught them off-guard.
“y-you guys...” they kept their stares right at your face, waiting attentively to what you’re about to say.
“you treat me like a toy. you’re playing with me like as if i d-don’t have feelings.”
if the scene moments ago hurts them, then this surely broke everything in them. they were silent for a while. reflecting to all the things they’ve done so far to you. yes, they were a little less insolent the other day, but what they did to you probably made you misunderstand it.
jake was the first one to retract, “what? no, sweetheart.” he licks his lips and cares your cheeks gently. he shakes his head continuously.
“we...” he gulps, nervous. he locks his gaze at you and softens, tears brimming his eyes. “i love you.” he blurted out that made you hitch your breath.
that obviously is not what you expected to get from him. specially from jake. he’s the player, always have girls around him. you’ve never heard him say those words to anyone.
your eyes stares right at his desperate ones, trying to search for any traces of mischief over them. but none. sincerity and desperation is all you can see through them.
a warm hand rests at the small of your back then someone rests his forehead at the side of your head. his familiar manly scent invades your nose.
jay’s eyes are tightly closed when you try to glance at him. his jaw clenched hard as his hand bore onto your back.
“i’m sorry if you misunderstood us, baby. that’s not how we want things to escalate.” he mumbles so softly. nuzzling close to you, like as if it will help ease those pain away.
it made you sob. heeseung approaches and his friends gave space for him. he grabs one of your hand and caress it. while staring at your eyes, he placed a gentle kiss on it while the other two boys tries to hugs you. jake’s got his face buries on the crook of your neck, jay remains standing beside you.
“i’m sorry, angel. we...” he couldn’t continue right away. he gulps. “we didn’t know this is how you feel.”
tears streams down your face. continuously. and your chest aches, but this time its for a different reason. you didn’t expect any of these. you imagined them scoffing and laughing at you for actually catching feelings for them. they basically mistreated you.
jake tightens his hug on you, refusing to let go. his warmth envelopes you. jay has his hand placed at the small of your back, caressing it up and down. heeseung has your hand, kissing it from time to time.
the three of them whispered their sorries. they totally feel bad. as your eyes roams around, it caught sunghoon’s.
he’s still standing at his place. didn’t move a step. he’s just there, watching all of this unfold. his heart aches, that’s for sure. he wanted to come close to you too just like how his friends are trying to console you, but his feet are stoned.
he cannot do it. he’s afraid.
out of all of them, he’s the meanest. he says the most hurtful and degrading words towards you. of course, he meant none of them. he’s just caught up in the moment and to the thought of dominating you.
his heart drops at the sight of your tear stained eyes. all those times he’s been rough on you flashes back through his mind like a montage. he hates it. he hates himself.
heeseung whips his head back to look over his shoulder. he can see how sunghoon has his fists balled. how he looked scared. he’s never seen him this way.
“dude.” he calls.
jake lifts his head to look at his friend, jay’s watching too. sunghoon kept silent, his lips shaken.
“h-hoon?” you called him out, now starting to feel worried by how he’s acting.
sunghoon’s eyes stings as it heats up. he knew he’s tearing up, but he won’t let you see him shed tears. not because he’s trying to mask it ouy, but 'cause he knew it will make you even sadder. he’s scared that he will cause more damage.
his eyes met his heeseung hyung and he nods with a small encouraging smile. the four of them grew up together. they’ve known each other their whole life, so he knew why sunghoon’s not approaching.
its not because he’s mad. he’s being careful. and sunghoon’s never been like this towards someone.
sunghoon gulps then take small courageous steps. your eyes watch him carefully, waiting patiently.
when he’s steps away from you, his eyes softens and you saw how his hand trembles when he lifts it to touch you. he backs out, hesitating to lay his hand on you.
“i’m sorry.” he says in a low voice.
it was such a short sentence but the amount of emotion his eyes shows is enought to let you know that he has so many more that he wants to say.
your eyes scanned his face. slowly, you laid your hand out for him. its a way to let him know that its fine and that you allow him to touch you.
his eyes darts at it. he contemplates, but eventually reaches out. your warm hands sent comfort to sunghoon’s cold ones. it gave him life.
“i’m sorry, pretty. w-we’re really sorry.” he mumbles as he buries his face on your neck. his big figure almost covers you up from heeseung’s perspective.
they watch silently. thankful that you’re just too nice to even let them be this close to you. they exchange look to each other and knew they had to do something to make it up to you.
“forgive us, angel. we’ll do better from now on.” heeseung says and rest his big hands on your hip.
you looked at him and kept silent.
honestly, you’ve been thinking of ending it between them. the amount of stress and overthinking you’ve been going through because of them was unhealthy. you promised that after confronting them and if they confirmed that they’re just here for the fun, you’ll bolt out.
but... this is totally a big turn of events.
your lips stretched a little. a subtle gentle smile, but still visible to their eyes are what relieved them.
“okay.”
jake rushes closer and kisses your cheeks multiple times. “really, sweets? thank you! i love you!” he excitedly mumbled between his kisses.
you felt sunghoon’s big strong arms wrapping tightly around your waist.
“thanks, baby. we will try our best.” jay caught your attention when he rest his hand on top of your head, giving it light taps.
the corner of his lips lifts before leaning to kiss you on the lips. “i love you.” he whispers, like he doesn’t want the other boys to hear. like it was only meant for you.
jake steps in, the sulky boy in him coming out. “kiss me on the lips too!” he argues and pouts his plump lips.
jay snorted and swat his arms. you chuckles and lets him lean in for a swift kiss. his eyes sparkling after that smooch.
heeseung’s hands digs on your hip as he leans silently to drop a kiss on your lips. it was soft and lasts for a few seconds. when he pulls away, he remains close and smiles.
“thank you, angel. we’ll be good boyfriends. right?” he says and looks at his friends which they responded with nods.
you blushed, “b-boyfriends?” surprised.
heeseung smirks then nods, “you’re our girl.” he pinches your cheeks lightly. “not some toy.”
sunghoon places a kiss on your neck then pulls away. his eyes bores to you. they glisten affection and relief.
“our pretty girl.” he whispers and dips his head to give you a feathery hot kiss on the lips.
your eyes opens when he pulls away.
“we need to work on our issues in order for this to work. we don’t want another misunderstanding like this.” heeseung announces.
“do you have anything else you don’t like, angel? except from us being total assholes...” he cleared his throat.
your mind wonders. “i d-didn’t like what we did the last time. its o-overwhelming...”
they all looked at you with cute eyes then jay chuckles. “i mean she did passed out that time. her stamina couldn’t handle it.” he says.
heeseung nods, “at least we get to try it once, right?” he smirks, the memories of the night still lingers to his mind.
you blushed and glanced away.
“is that all, angel?”
you look back at heeseung and nodded.
“please stop being aggressive.” you reminded, ears turning red.
they almost cooed at how adorable you looked.
“we promise.” they say almost in unison then approaches for a group hug with you in the middle, making sure they aren’t squishing you too much.
“but we can still do threesome, right?” jake asks innocently that made all of you whip your heads at his direction.
“jake!” they all hissed at him for still being horny despite the wholesome situation that only made you chuckle.
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“hi!” you shyly greets when you saw heeseung outside of your house, leaning over his black audi.
its monday morning and you’re beyond surprise to receive a text message from him saying he’ll be picking you up for school. of course you got excited. this will be the first time.
“good morning, beautiful.” he smirks and snakes his arms around your waist to pull you closer.
your cheeks blushed at his words then stomach churns when he leans in for a kiss. it seems so natural. like this is your usual morning routine.
“get in.” he instruct and even open the door for you.
once inside, he swiftly walks around to ride the driver’s seat. then off you go. it was a short drive, but it isn’t awkward. heeseung’s asking questions from time to time to start a conversation while a low music plays on his radio.
the moment his car enters the parking area designated for the students, you saw familiar boys. jay’s leaning over his car while jake and sunghoon bickers about something.
“oh they’re early.” you mumble because usually you arrive first.
heeseung’s always on time since he’s the school’s president. jay and jake arrives at school just on time. sunghoon’s the one always late, unless he have his morning practices.
their heads whips at your direction once they heard the familiar blaring of heeseung’s car. jake turns his back over hoon then waves like an excited puppy. he for sure cannot see you yet as the car is heavily tinted, but it made you smile. he’s so cute.
he’s on your side of the door once heeseung’s done parking it. he waits until the car’s unlocked and then open it for you.
“sweetheart!” he greets happily then hugs you.
heeseung shakes his head while smirking then unclasped your seatbelt for you as you’re busy greeting jake, returning his hug.
jay and sunghoon walks closer as well then hoon went to grab your things from the backseat. he naturally carries it, letting one strap hangs on his arm.
“hey, baby.” jay greets and placed a kiss on your cheek.
“hi jay.”
“i arrived earlier than both of them!” jake interrupts, proudly letting you know how he’s very punctual today.
“wow, that’s great jakey.” you complimented him and his eyes sparkles.
“yeah, right. you’re so childish.” sunghoon commented before leaning towards you for his kiss.
all of you walks on the hallways together. sunghoon and heeseung’s is a few steps ahead while jake’s beside you telling you about his dog. even showing you her cute pictures and bragging how she’s the smartest dog ever. which sunghoon quickly argues that his dog is much better.
jay’s on your other side, silently listening to his friend’s playful banters. he’s very used to it already and slowly, you too.
curious eyes follows the five of you. there’s a hint of surprise and judgment through them. some are whispering, some just stares with mouth slightly gapped and others just don’t care.
honestly, it bothers you. their eyes carefully watching you is making you uneasy. it felt so weird being watched that it makes you wonder how these boys got used to this.
jake’s warm hand envelops yours that caught your attention. he smiles, his red plump lips distracting you.
“don’t mind them, sweets. they’re just jealous.” he whispers, eyes staring straight at yours.
with blushing cheeks, you blinked twice. “w-why? because i’m with you guys?”
he shakes his head and leans closer, his lips grazing your ears that made your stomach drop. “because you’re ours.”
to say that your face turns red is an understatement. your heart races and he just winks then continues talking about other things.
when you arrived at the classroom, they’re all looking curiously. wondering why these boys are acting this way around you. as far as they remember, they used to bully you around. basically why you end up becoming a loner.
“here, pretty.” sunghoon says and placed your things at the side of the chair. you thanked him and he just smiled before walking to his seat.
jay and heeseung did the same but jake remains near you, pouting hardly.
“can’t i move seats?” he complains.
you chuckle and cares his arm, “go to your seat now, jakey.”
he sighs and wants to lean to give a kiss but stops himself. you did talked about them not to do pda in public or at least when around a lot of people. not everyone is open for this kind of relationship, you just don’t want any issues.
“jake, stop being sulky and sit down.” jay calls him then rolls his eyes.
the said boy just raises his fist and showed his middle finger to his friend. you chuckled and just sat down so jake can go to his chair.
eventually, the homeroom teacher walks inside for morning reminders. she mentioned the upcoming fieldtrip which slightly riles you up. you’re excited to go at the museums and such.
during the breaktime, the boys accompanied you. sunghoon and jake to be specific. the other two are busy on student council so its just the three of you.
“what do you want to eat, doll?” sunghoon asks while pulling a chair for you.
jake’s playing with the edge of your hair while watching you carefully.
“anything is fine.”
hoon nods once, “i’ll order for you.”
“thank you, hoon.” with a smile.
he smirks then squeezed your hand before walking off. jake and you sat down at the table.
“did heeseung hyung told you already?” he starts.
“about?”
“he’s taking you out on a date later.” he says casually while doing something to his phone. his forehead narrows, very focus.
“a d-date?”
he hums, answering your question with a short nod. he’s not looking at you, still hooked to his phone. “where?”
he shrugs, “have no idea.”
your heart hammered just by the thought of going on a date with thee lee heeseung. yes, they did said that they’ll make it up to you and that confirmed your relationship with them, but sometimes it still don’t sink in.
they’re your boyfriends...
your eyes caught the glimpse of what jake’s doing and you got distracted. its a picture of you. that was the first time you saw it.
“is that me?”
jake whips his head at you then smiled, “yes! i’m putting you as my wallpaper.” then he clicked something before locking it and opening the screen to show you.
its a candid picture of you. you forgot when it was, but it was obvious that you’re unaware of him taking that photo. you’re focused on something.
“beautiful, isn’t it?” his smug smirk looked adorable. he cocked his eyebrow once, smirking wider. “that’s my girlfriend.”
you blushed even harder. “stop it.”
he chuckled, finding you adorable. instead of stopping, he stared more intensely making you even more flustered.
“j-jake..” and you glance away.
“fine, i’ll stop.” finally, he glances away, his big grin not wiping off.
sunghoon arrives afterwards and the three of you enjoys the time together before going back to your class.
during your vacant, some of your classmates are doing random things inside the room. you find it a waste to just do nothing and remembered about the history assignment.
you stood up and instantly, four heads whips at your direction. when the bell rang and one of the students announced that it was your vacant, they all naturally gathered around you.
“where are you going?” they almost ask at the same time.
“a-at the library.” you answered, shy that all of their attention is now directed at you. its slowly becoming a habit, but that’s something you will never get used to.
“i’ll go with you.” heeseung was quick to stand up and fix his uniform slightly before carding his soft black hair once.
you gulped, “o-okay...” and your eyes dropped at the three boys who remains sitting down.
sunghoon smiles, “see you later, doll. i’m sleepy.” he reasons then leans over his table.
jay just smiled. jake have this pout on his lips. “i really want to co—” his words got interrupted when jay covered his mouth.
“shut up.”
heeseung covers your line of sight from them then flashes this soft smile. “let’s go?” he says and just like being hypnotized by his gaze, you nod your head.
heeseung ushered you to the library, asking what you’re going there for. once informed about the assignment, he said that he’s already finished with his so he’ll just help you.
you can’t help but to be at awe for this man. can he be more perfect? he’s good in everything.
he find you guys a vacant table and asked you to sit down. he said he will look for the book he used and you thanked him. it didn’t took long before you saw him walking back with a handful of books. strangely, he fits this image well.
you’re in complete trance when he walked closer then placed it on the table. he then started pointing the references he used and told you that you can gather information from those articles then summarize it to your own words.
that was plenty for you. considering it will save you time doing this assignment. with a small smile you thank him then proceed on focusing on the task. heeseung sat beside you and watch how your brows draws closer.
his grin grew wider and fingers starting playing through his lower lip. his stares never left you then it slowly trailed down from your brows to your nose and then lips. those damn lips...
he inhaled and licked his lip, cleared his throat in the most silent way.
now, he went here with you with the most genuine intention of helping you. but then his thoughts are starting to wonder into something... inappropriate.
you did said that you only disapprove of them being mean and aggressive, right? being horny is not mentioned. so you probably won’t mind if he fingers you knuckle deep right now.
god, just by thinking of it, heeseung’s already salivating.
besides, its not his fault that you look so innocent and very pretty looking all serious.
he rests his hand on your thigh that made you jolt in surprise. you blinked twice then turns your head at his direction. he’s giving you this lazy look while biting over his lips.
your chest hammered and stomach churns when he started caressing your thighs gently. making sure you can feel his rough palms rubbing against your exposed skin.
“h-heeseung...”
he raised an eyebrow, “yes, angel?” he asks innocently like as if he’s not doing trailing his hands upwards into your inner skirt.
“w-we’re in the library...” and you roam your eyes trying to check if there’s people near enough to get suspicious of what’s going on under the table.
“exactly. go study.” he says with a grin.
“w-what are you doing? they might see—”
“shh, don’t worry. just be a good girl and do your assignment, okay?” and he leans to drop a kiss on the side of your head, ushering you to continue doing your work.
after staring at him for a while and realizing he ain’t going to stop, you decided to just go with it. besides, you can’t hide the arousing feeling that slowly poisoning your whole system. your head starting to get fuzzy, core getting wet as he started to trace the line of your pussy.
you hummed, teeth sunk onto your lower lip in attempt to stop any moans that wants to come out. “ungh,”
he chuckles sexily, “try to be quiet. we’re at the library after-all.” he whispered.
he pulls his hand out then gave it a lick before dipping it back in. “open your legs for me, please.” he demanded in a very soft tone.
you’re already in deep thoughts, unable to even respond properly and just obliged his dirty desires. once he have a better access, heeseung pushes your underwear to touch you bare.
his fingers are hot and rough. feels so good. he started on your clit, rubbing it in a very delicious way.
“fuck, you’re so wet.” he curses, enjoying how your face contorts out of pleasure. pleasure that he’s currently giving you.
“h-hee..” you calls him.
he smirks, loving the way you’re so needy for his fingers.
“all right, i'm going in angel. focus on your assignment.” he stated like as if its even possible to do that. but you tried to pull yourself together. heaved a sigh then looked at the books in front of you. none of the words made sense, but that’s not important.
your mouth slightly gaps as he inserted one finger inside you. the stretch felt so good it makes you want to moan loudly.
“shh.” he reminded, chuckling.
he’s enjoying it. he’s loving it as much as you’re loving being finger fucked.
he didn’t stopped and put another finger. he let it rest inside, trying to take time feeling your tightness around his long fingers. he wants to imagine it to be his dick and he bet it will feel heaven. he shove that thought right away, he needs to focus on you.
“you’re so tight around me, angel.” he whispered huskily. “even after being fucked by all of us, you’re still so fucking tight.” he started talking in nasty way.
the way he say it in a calm tone just hits in a different way. you gulped and breath out, calming yourself.
“p-please.”
he smirks and gave you another kiss on the side of your head. he started moving his fingers that almost sent your soul out of your body. the way his fingers moved in and out in your tight hole just feels perfect.
he continues, slowly catching his pace that just added to your pleasure. one of your hand grips over his thighs, squishing it that he quickly find adorable.
“how i wish its my tongue inside that hole, angel.” he says that he truly means.
you whimpered lowly and tried to keep your eyes open. the words on the book starting to became blurry. it went on for a while until you feel a knot forming on your stomach. a sign that you’re already close.
“heeseung...” you calls out.
he chuckles then rutt his fingers even faster making you whimper softly. you glance at him and he already knew that you’re close. from the way your eyes are half-lidded and teeth digging unto your lips, you are definitely about to release.
he fucks deeper and just a few moments after you came to his fingers, head hanging low and grip over his thighs tightening. you shake lightly that made him chuckle, leaning his head closer to kiss you by the head.
“you did so well.” he complimented then kept on thrusting in and out in a slow pace, helping you ride your high.
once you calmed down, he pulls it out making you wine. he stares at you then shamelessly took his fingers over his lips to suck it. your eyes grew and cheeks blushed hardly.
“heeseung!”
he smirks, “i deserve a reward, don’t you think?” then he winks at you making you lose your mind. he’s going to be the death of you.
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“bye baby.” jay smiles and kisses you gently before moving away to give way for sunghoon. he’s already holding his helmet by one of his hand.
“bye, pretty.” he says with a playful grin over you.
you smiled before pouting, “please drive safely.”
his eyes soften after what you said and leans in again for another kiss. “i will, i promise.”
you nodded and a sulking jake came into your view.
“bye sweets.” he says half-heartedly that made you chuckle then insisted for a kiss just to ease his bad mood.
sunghoon rolls his eyes then grabbed his sulking friend by his uniform and drag him out of there. jake complains and started to argue, but jay helped to drag him away.
heeseung sighs and snaked his arm over your waist, “let’s go?”
you glance at him then nod your head once before going to his car. he opened the door like always and guides your inside.
“where are we going?”
he glances, “i’m taking you to our small vacation house by the lake.” he smiles.
you smiled back, “hmm. okay.”
“i called your mom and told her i’ll get you home a little late.”
“you called her?” you’re surprised he even remembered telling it to her.
“yes. i don’t want her to be worried or get you in trouble.” he says while eyes fixed at the road.
you pout your lips and looked at more with so much adoration. that was so sweet of him. you can feel your heart races and butterflies going crazy inside your stomach.
heesueng notices your stares and chuckles, “why?”
you shake your head, “its just you’re so sweet. it makes my heart melt.”
his smile grew wider, totally proud that he made you feel more special.
“anything for you.”
he said it will took a bit time to get there so you guys went to drive thru so he can buy some food you can eat while on the way. while on the way, you naturally fall into conversations, giggling and teasing each other.
it feels so good. heeseung used to be very intimidating for you. his serious demeanor and the way he seems so calm about everything just makes you feel agitated around him. but eventually, he starts to feel warm. like someone you can entrust yourself fully. they all feel that way, honestly. but heeseung’s the most reliable one, you must admit.
when he noticed your eyelids looking heavier, he chuckles and told you that you can sleep for a while.
“but how about you?” feeling a little bad that you’ll leave him driving.
he smiles assuringly, “i’ll be fine, angel.”
and with that you slowly dozed off. he lets you sleep until you’re already pulling over the driveway of their small vacation house. its not particularly small. its actually above average, but maybe for people like him who probably have many vacation houses, this is small for him.
“careful.” he mumbled and quickly reaches for your hand when the rocky path greets you.
the house is very cozy and simple. the clear view of the lake can be seen from the big glass windows. it was beautiful.
“you can go roam around while i set our food inside the fridge.” heeseung says then kisses you at the head before heading to the kitchen.
your eyes wanders around with curiosity and admiration. everything looks expensive. your eyes darted at the table filled with picture frames. with full curiosity, your feet trudges closer.
“wow...” was the first word that came out from your mouth. you can see pictures of their family. his dad and mom. him and his older brother.
“cutie!” you exclaimed when you saw heeseung’s baby picture. he does resembles him that you can tell right away that it was him.
your smiling ear to ear then fished your phone to take a snap of that pic. after getting satisfied with your shots, you slowly head over the small balcony where you can see the lake.
“wow, its so refreshing.” you mumble under your breath then leaned over the railings, letting the wind blow onto you.
you jolted when a pair of arms wrapped over your waist. “enjoying the view?”
“y-yes.”
heeseung kisses your cheeks then place his chin on your shoulder. the two of you admired the view while holding that position. the breeze is kind of cold, but heeseung’s hug kept you warm.
“do you want to walk around for a bit before we start dinner?” he asks then finally pulls away.
your eyes sparkles, “yes!”
he chuckles, finding you adorable then leans down. “give me a kiss first.”
your cheeks blushed then blinked twice. the two of your stares at each other for a while until you decided to give in to his request. a big satisfied smile spread across his handsome face then stand back up.
“let’s go.” and he intertwined your fingers.
looking at the lake in a much nearer distance gave you comfort and peace. you never thought watching the soft currence while holding heeseung’s warm hands can make your heart race.
“do you know when i started liking you?” heeseung breaks the silence.
you craned your neck to glance at him, eyes flashing curiosity. “when?”
he stares at your for a while before chuckling lightly then pinching your cheeks.
“you look adorable, but i have to resist. come on, try to guess.”
his compliment and how he said that using his softest tone soothes something in your heart. it made you blush instantly. despite all of it, you tried to guess like how he requested.
“when you started this thing with me?” that was the first one that came in your mind.
you barely remember any interaction with lee heeseung before all of this.
his brows narrowed, “this thing?” he sighs. “relationship, angel. that’s how you call it properly.” he says using a salty tone.
you chuckled and just nods as acknowledgement. he kept his stares, his eyes returning to being gentle and full of affection. a small genuine smile then appears over his lips.
heeseung’s out of words to describe how precious you are for him. he’s usually good on saying the things he wanted to say, but with you his thoughts are starting to be messed up. there’s just so much he wanted to say yet he don’t know where to start.
“it was on seventh grade.” he stated that made your lips gap.
7th grade? but you’re already on eleventh grade. still surprised, you cannot say anything.
“during that time i experienced my first loss. it may be nothing for a normal high-school kid, but for someone who comes from a perfectionist family who doesn’t accept defeat, it is a pretty big deal.”
instantly, you feel slightly bad. of course, you’ve heard about his family. they are pretty strict when it comes to him. maybe that’s why he’s very reserved because he has no time for failure. they’ve put too much pressure on him.
your free hand extends and travels from his arm towards his neck, up to his face. slowly, he relaxes to your touch.
“i remember feeling so worthless while staring blankly at my silver medal.” he resumes telling you the story.
“while i stare with despair at it, already imagining the disappointed look from my father, someone approaches me.” he stops.
“guess who?” he smirks. “i'll give you a clue.” then smirk grew wider.
“she’s very pretty and currently holding me softly right now.”
“me?” you wonder.
he nods. “you were pretty amazed at my silver medal.” he states, a big smile on his face now.
just the emotion he was showing was enough to tell how delighted he is by reminiscing that moment.
“i was actually annoyed at first because i thought you were mocking me.” he chuckled and you pout jokingly.
“hey, you’re so judgemental.”
he shrugs his shoulders. “can’t blame me, angel. i was still very introverted that time.”
“you’re still a little introvert now.”
he cocked his eyebrow and you did the same thing, staring back. that made him chuckle.
“okay, maybe you’re right.” he surrenders then drop a kiss on your forehead.
“and then what happened?” you curiously asked.
he smiled. “then i told you harshly that what’s so great for second place?” he continued.
you grow silent then tries hard to recall the memory.
“and then you said,” you glanced at him, eyes starting to water a bit.
“that there’s nothing wrong with being second place. that it doesn’t mean that you failed or you didn’t won. that instead of being sad, you should take it as a chance to become better. that it only means you still have a room to grow.” you finished it that made him smile.
“right...”
“hee...” eyes brimming with tears already. “that was years ago.” you stated, couldn’t believe that he started to get interested that time.
his eyes dropped at your intertwined hand and he raised it to gently place a kiss on top of it.
“hee...” you mumbled again, this time voice cracking a little.
he smiles, “sorry if we approached you the wrong way. we just really don’t know what to do.” his eyes sparkles, getting a bit teary as well.
“i-it’s okay... i didn’t know.”
he chuckles, “obviously. you’re too dense to notice.”
“hey!” you playfully shoot him glares that he just laughed at before leaning in to give you a kiss.
the two of you stared at each other affectionately, enough to communicate what your hearts wants to tell one another.
“i know that with all the responsibilities and the expectation from your parents, it felt heavy. like you feel that you can’t be flawed.” you started.
“but for me you’re just perfect the way you are. with your achievements and failures.” those words tugs his heartstrings, a tear escaping his eye.
the moment you two steps inside the vacation house, heeseung’s lips are attached to you. his kisses are gentle yet passionate. his hands holds you closely to his hot body.
his kisses moves from your lips, down to your chin then neck making sure to suck on your skin making you moan, fingers tangled on his hair.
he slid his arm over your legs then carries you towards the bedroom. he went back to your lips and kisses you once again.
he gently placed you on the bed hovering above you, his hand starting to remove your clothes. and you let him.
when he pulls away, you try to even chase him that made him chuckle.
“wait, angel. i’ll just remove my clothes.”
your eyes trailed down his now erect member.
“d-do you want me to...?”
he smiles then shakes his head, “no. today, its just about you.”
then he kisses you again, resuming on discarding every clothing that you still have on you. once fully unclothed, he positions himself in front of you. he started rubbing his head on your now wet core.
your brows narrowed and whimpers sexily.
“i’ll go in now, okay?” he glanced at you and a nod is all you gave him.
and while your eyes staring back at each other, heeseung pushes his dick inside. the stretch feels so good, his thick cock making you moan his name. it made him satisfied, hearing you getting comfortable on letting out your moans.
“that’s right, let me hear you.” he whispered then pinned your hand on the sides, intertwining his fingers to yours.
he lets you get more comfortable with having him inside and connects his lips on yours again, couldn’t get enough of your lips. his tongue pushes in, wanting to taste every insides of your mouth.
when he started to move, your head starts to get blank. nothing inside but the man above you and making you feel this good.
he slides in and out. starting with a slow pace then going faster. he thrusts deep and fast sending so much pleasure.
“heeseung...” you moaned after his lips moves away.
“i love you, angel.” he suddenly said that made your heart jumped. you didn’t have the chance to say anything as he leans in for a peck.
“i love you so damn much.” and then start thrusting even faster.
“i...” you pursed your lips, eyes shuts as the pleasure from his dick takes away your ability to think and speak properly.
“i..” you attempted again, opening your eyes so you can look at his pretty face.
“love you too...” you finally finished it.
heeseung’s heart thumped faster and he fucked you even harder. he smiles and leans in for another heated kiss. he loves and adore you.
he continues drilling his cock inside until he felt you tightening around him, indicating the approaching release. he kisses your chin.
“cumming for me, angel?”
you open your mouth, “yes. feel so good.”
he smirks, “i know. pussy so good for me.” and then he rut his cock deeper.
“i’m cumming too..” he announces, feeling the knot on his stomach.
“cum with me.” he orders then attach his lips before going rapidly.
not long after you came around heeseung then he filled you with his hot cum. he pulls away to look at your fucked out face, brushing off some hair. he smiles.
“i love you.” he whispers, still going in and out but in a slower pace. riding both your highs.
you opened your eyes and reaches for his face. this time, you lift your head to give him a sweet kiss with a smile on your face. then you laid back down, staring lovingly at him.
his thrust starts to go faster again and a playful smirk spreads across his handsome face, some of his hairs sticks on his forehead due to sweat.
“round two, angel.” and then you let out a whimper from both pleasure and overstimulation.
the two of you spent the rest of the time just going for each other. heeseung making sure you felt how special you are for him.
lee heeseung is scared of failing. always aiming to be the best and to be perfect. he’s too obsessed on pleasing his parents to the point that he almost lose himself. but with you, he felt at ease. he felt safe and confident knowing that despite all his flaws and just being his true self, he’s still admirable.
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cherryblossom-enthusiast · 5 months ago
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Unrequited (Arthur Morganxf! Reader) - RDR2
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A/N: Whoever decided that there could be a button where Arthur Morgan says "good girl" how ever many times you want, I hope both sides of your pillow are cold.
Synopsis: Arthur loved Mary, didn't he? So, why was it he was spouting all this nonesense about loving you?
Warning/ Tags: Angst. But like SO MUCH FLUFF. Allusions to Sex. Mentions of violence. Coarse language. Kissing. Hurt/ Comfort. Angst with a happy ending.
Word Count: 6.1K
Masterlist
Even now, Arthur Morgan was a lovesick fool for Mary Linton.
You shouldn’t have been surprised; you weren’t really. Arthur doesn’t talk about her much anymore, but you’d known him long enough to see he’d never really let that part of himself go. The part of him that loves. That dreams of something better for himself even if he thinks he’s the big, bad, scary man that he is.
And maybe in some aspect, he is that man.
Threatening, bartering, killing. Sometimes you look into his eyes and see nothing but a hard, desolate exterior that wouldn’t think twice about shooting anybody up so long as Dutch told him to do it. But the reality Arthur Morgan doesn’t want to accept is that there’s goodness hiding within the moulding of a gunslinger enforcer.
You can glimpse that goodness when he helps a woman on the road or gives medicine to a man dying from snake poison, and you can especially see it when he’s hauling his ass on his horse to help Mary even when he’s being pulled left and right to finish errands for the camp.
So no, you shouldn’t have been surprised that Arthur would ride out the earliest he could to help his past lover.
But hell, why did it have to hurt you every damn time?
He returns to camp just after the sun rises and light starts to colour the world around you. The air is still crisp, and the heat of the sun is non-existent on your skin.  You’re brushing your horse’s mane when you hear the familiar holler of his voice towards Bill. You don’t look towards him as his horse trots towards the hitching post.
As he dismounts, he greets you, a little pep in the tone of his voice.
It irritates you immediately.
“Mornin’.”
You grit your teeth and put on the brightest smile you can muster. “Mornin’!”
He takes a moment. His eyebrows crease. “Something matter?”
“Uh-?”
“Nothing it’s just-“ he breaks to think about the right words to say. “You don’t look- Never mind.”
This only encourages you to grow your façade stronger. “So,” you start “what’d Mary need this time?” It comes off a little pettier than you intended it to be. He doesn’t deserve that, hell, Mary didn’t deserve your bitterness either, fine woman she was.
That little fact seemed inconsequential however every time he uttered her name and the familiar feeling of jealousy pricked, downright stabbed itself in your gut.
He picks up on your tone, not appreciating it one bit. The displeasure that carves into his expression almost makes you wince and the fake smile that’s plastered on your face twitches the slightest bit. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
You take the coward’s way out, you always do.
You break eye contact and continue to brush away the embarrasment. You’re rewarded by a loving whinny and it almost distracts you from the ice-cold awkwardness you’ve built around this conversation. “Nothin’, just asking.”
Whether he believes your fib or doesn’t, he doesn’t let it show. But him moving on has you thanking God regardless. He takes out a brush, starting to work on his own mare’s mane. “Good girl.” He whispers. Warmth creeps up your neck as your ears tingle towards the baritone timber of his voice. It makes you lose all self-respect for yourself. He sneaks a look at you for the tiniest bit of time before continuing your conversation. “Her brother was involved in some weird religious group.”
“Is that right?”
“Yep,” he sighs “buncha turtle lovers.”
That gets a genuine chuckle out of you even though you don’t understand it. When you glance towards Arthur’s direction, the indifference has faded away from his features and all that’s left is a sarcastic smirk in its place. All frost has melted away and all too quickly you’re back to the ease that usually came with your dynamic.
You can’t help but throw a snide joke his way. “Gosh, if you’re still this involved in their family drama, you should just make it official and propose again.”
The idea haunts you, of course, it does. But you weren’t going to let Arthur know that. The more you joke, the more it becomes real, the more your true feelings become buried underneath a pile of age-old lies and supportive nonsense. Because at the end of the day, if it would make Arthur happy, you’d keep biting your lip and pushing him towards that happiness. 
Love worked funny like that.
His smirk falls and you’re worried you pushed it a tad bit too far. “I tried once and I don’t know if it’ll ever happen.” He turns almost sombre, like thinking back on old memories that were equal parts sweet and bitter and this bothers you in a different way.
“I sincerely think if you were to propose to her right now, she’d say yes with no questions asked.” You hope he sees the genuineness in your intentions.
He merely gives you a scoff, slightly shaking his head. “Yeah well,” he trails off. “It’d never work out now.”
You decide not to continue pushing. It’s obvious he doesn’t want to dig deeper into the situation and even in your sorry narrow-minded state, you could understand and respect keeping your mouth shut when you needed to. You lick your lips and stick another sickly-sweet smile to your face. “Well, you continue on moping, but I can’t say I’ll be sticking around to see you grumbling around.”
That gets him to snort. “And where will the rough and tough princess be today? Helping a rabbit off the road? Wait-“ he pauses for dramatic effect “Talking to the birds and singing em’ a song?” He makes himself chortle quietly at the idea.
“I have a date.”
That gets him to stop cold turkey. He’s only met with a smug appearance on your end. “You?”
You fake great offence and snap at him. “Hey! Even I can seduce someone if I try!”
“No, I know- I” He appears shaken up about your revelation and for a moment, the tiniest fraction of a second, you could almost see the tensing of his jaw. “With who?”
It’s your turn to leer at him. “Why’s it matter?”
“It doesn’t I-“ he stutters “I just-“
You raise an eyebrow. “Well if you must know, he works at the hardware store.” You say as you recall the day you met the gentleman. “I helped him carry out some tasks and he gave me a daffodil in exchange, of all things.” You pointed at the flower currently tucked in the band of your hat. “Cutest thing.”
“Is that right?” He gruffed out.
“Mhm, so I’m gonna escort him and his granddaughter to a birthday party out in Strawberry.” You giggle. “He said he needed a ‘fighter’ with him because of his ‘old bones’ and ‘lumbago’” You roll your eyes. “Sounds like Uncle.”
This seems to take Arthur by surprise. The dark clouds in his eyes clear out and his eyebrows furrow in confusion. “Wha-?”
You bite your lip to keep your internal laughter from spilling. “Listen, I offered.” You explain. “He’s been giving me discounts at the store and that girl is just the sweetest thing and well-“ you shrug, “I couldn’t say no like the goddamn softie I am.”
The blades in his eyes dull at the statement. The mysterious scrunch of his shoulders from earlier disappears. He steps away from his horse and walks around his mare to shorten the gap between the two of you. It reminds you that he’s tall, much bigger than you are. “That bleedin’ heart of yours is gonna get you killed one day.”
He mutters his words lightly and yet, there’s some odd sadness you don’t understand attached to it. He puckers his lips as if he wants to say more on the matter yet can’t.
You put on your best Arthur impression, puffing up your chest and scrunching your face. “Well, somehow this don’t suit me, now does it?”
He wouldn’t even have to touch you.
At that, Arthur chuckles deeply. “Nah, you obviously ain’t tall enough to be me, shortcake.” He jabs you playfully at the shoulder and in response, you over-exaggerate the motion of being pushed back.
Though, if he really wanted to, Arthur could have you on your back in less than a second.
Before you can go further down that rabbit hole of thoughts, you carry on with the train of humour. “Besides, heard from Jerry there’ll be plenty of cute fellas around to keep me entertained.”
The clouds start to roll back in his demeanour, dare you say with a touch of thunder this time. “You gonna be looking at other men?” The lightness in his voice is gone, only replaced with the venom from before.
You’re befuddled at the quick-changing atmosphere, but don’t go back on what you said. “All I’ve got to look at are you folks all day,” you quip “A girl needs a change of scenery every once in a while.”
He crosses his arms, clearly not amused. “We not pretty enough for you?”
“Well, you are certainly, but I don’t know about Pearson.”
You purse your lips immediately and silently curse yourself at the admission. That same old shit-eating grin makes a comeback. “Is that right?”
You push his arm back, but unlike him, you hardly get the man to move more than half an inch. “Oh shut it.” You quickly un-hitch your horse and mount her. All you want to do is wipe his lips so it turns back into his usual frown, but you’re afraid you’d just embarrass yourself further. “I won’t be back for a while.” You pull your horse away and pat her on the side. “Didn’t know children’s birthday parties could take so damn long.”
“How long will you be gone for?” He mumbles, voice noticeably quieter.
“However long it takes for a fella to get me off.”
Arthur’s eyes widen. The sun highlights the tips of his ears go red. “Wha- What?” He strained out like he wasn’t quite sure of what he just heard.
A real, true laugh comes out of you then as you spur your horse into action, cantering away from camp. You don’t wait to hear the rest of what he has to say. His flushed look is enough of a prize to take with you.
You replay it all the way to Strawberry.
------------------
It was well past sundown when you return. Truthfully, you don’t even know what time it is, all you knew was that you were gone long enough that laying down on your cot would be much appreciated by your aching muscles. There’s a light breeze and you take your hat off, shaking out your hair.
The party was a success. Jerry and his granddaughter got to and from Strawberry safely, and really, that was all you could wish for when you were being hunted constantly because of the bounty on your head. You knew you offered, hell you were pretty self-approving when you did. But even then, you made sure to ask if Jerry really wanted a gunslinger as an escort, to which he replied, “Oh, shove it.”
Wonderful man.
The rest of the camp, well those that were here anyways, aside from Bill who was back on guard duty, are already fast asleep. The crackle of the fire is the only sound filling your ears other than your own footsteps.
There’s a small oil lamp turned on in the corner of your vision, brightening the blue hue and you instantly know the only bastard who would be up at this hour.
He’s drawing again. His brows are focused in that way you loved so much and he only looks up from his journal once you amble closer towards him. You almost hate that you’ve disrupted him. You could watch him draw for hours and hardly get bored.
He closes the book and looks up at you. You nod towards his hands. “You’ll have to show me what you’re working on at some point, Picasso.”
Arthur lets a huff through his nose. “Not gonna happen.” He motions you to sit beside him and you take him up on his offer. You catch a whiff of his scent, something like tobacco mixed with old leather. It may have been slightly repulsive to anyone else, but this was Arthur, and all it made you feel was safe. “You was gone a long time.” He points out, a bitter tinge to his voice. “I’m glad you’re okay.”
You tilt your head at him. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
Arthur’s eyes narrow. “You just went off and didn’t come back until now.” The bitter tinge morphs into something like annoyance. “I was worried.” He mumbles low.
“Oh, I was fine.” You bump your shoulder against his, but it again, doesn’t make him sway. “Besides, I had a fella with me.”
His hand, the one closest to you, balls up at his side. He’s always been hard to read, but he clearly isn't happy at your revelation. You had half a mind in this late hour to stew in that fact. “Did you now?”
“Sure, one of them single fathers.” You let a small laugh escape you and shake your head, kicking the dirt with your worn-out boots. “Don’t worry, I’d never steal one from a married woman.”
“Was he…cute?” He mutters.
“Never thought I’d hear the word ‘cute’ come out of Arthur Morgan’s mouth.” You catch a glimpse towards him and again note the same pink twinge on his ears, probably embarrassed at being called out on something so stupid.
You finally start to feel that familiar flutter in your stomach hidden behind all that supportive “do what makes you happy nonsense”.
No, you couldn’t have that.
So, you bury it down.
It just became easier that way after all these years.
“That ain’t the damn point.” He continues to grumble. “Was he?”
You ponder the question for a short while. “I mean, he was alright in the looks department, not cute-“
He cuts you off quickly. “Just alright?” He scoffs lightly.
You remember the aforementioned single father in question. His looks are the last thing on your mind. He was alright, not cute, not ugly. Sure, you wouldn’t want to sleep with the man, but-
“He was damn good with his kid, and I thought I’d like to get to know someone like that more.” You reveal through a whisper.
This causes Arthur to frown, but his expression softens. Some of that constant bitterness fades away. “You- “he cuts off and thickly swallows. “You weren’t doing anything strange were you?”
You can feel a prickle of heat in your face at the question. “I mean, we talked sure, but if anything, I just maybe wanted to indulge in a fantasy.” You shrug.
He snaps his gaze back towards you. “A fantasy?”
“What it’d be like-“
God, why was it so hard to say?  “Being normal, having a family.”
The silence that follows is thick and you immediately scold yourself for ruining a perfectly airy conversation just like this morning. You regret it, you do, but you can’t deny how nice it is to finally get that dream off your chest. It wasn’t original, what woman at camp, save Mrs. Adler, didn’t want that stability?
The feeling of riding was freeing. It gave you the grace of flying during a time when you were being held down and that will never change. But nowadays, you find that instead of being held down, you want to be held close. To be called important, matter to someone, so that when you felt lost soaring, you’d always have a beacon home.
“Damn it, you can’t be sayin’ things like that.” He forces out a murmur, a shred of his usual gruff tone.
“You ever think about that?” You tread lightly. “Having kids? Building a farm out somewhere and just-“ a deep sigh escapes you. “living and not surviving?”
It takes him a while to answer your question.
“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t.” The vulnerability colors his voice and it starts to trip you over the edge.
You nod, pursing your lips. “With Mary?” You meekly ask, the crickets chirping making the exchange more awkward. You almost cringe at the silence of it all.
He tenses at her name and it seems like you get your answer.
“With Mary? I mean-“ He tries to dissuade you with absolutely no conviction in his voice. He pauses and curses under his breath. Arthur shakes his head, closing his eyes a moment. “Y’know, it ain’t always about Mary.”
You scoff in disbelief. “Arthur, it’s always been about Mary.” Sighing deeply, you bite your cheek at the acidic truth. “Even when you met Eliza, it was still about Mary.”
He’s taken aback by your statement and a subtle look of frustration overcomes his features. “No, it hasn’t.”
You want to say more, but your sardonic nature halts at his stoic reply. It’s like your heart stops, a coldness and a shrill wake your senses from the inside out. “What?” Your brain halts, all thought ceasing to exist except to process his next response. He tries to avoid eye contact, but you seek his gaze as you tilt your head sideways. “Arthur, what do you mean?” You repeat more sternly, begging to get a straight answer.
He throws you a stick of dynamite.
The smoke clears and all that’s left is the destruction that caters right in the center of your chest.
“What about you?” His voice is hoarse like this is the most difficult thing he’s ever had to squeeze out of his mouth. “What about when it became you?”
Ka-boom.
There’s no longer just a flutter in your stomach, there’s a whole damn circus, and it decides to release the butterflies you worked so hard to keep from their magical chest of caution.
You shake your head and your body goes rigid. You move away from him and stand abruptly as you place your hands on your hips. He’s quick to follow you on your feet.  A sarcastic laugh leaves your throat before you can stop yourself. “Arthur-“
“No, let me finish.” He steps in front of you and holds your shoulders square, turning your body towards him. Even in your bubbling anger, you hate the way your skin immediately melts under his touch. His eyes and actions are pleading for you to stay, so you let him speak, biting your tongue to keep yourself from interrupting. He stumbles over his words. “It’s been you for a long damn time.” He admits. “But I was, I don’t know-“You notice the light sheen of sweat gracing his forehead. “I was scared to say something.”
“If this is some dumb joke-“
“No!” He immediately denies like he’s appalled you would even think of it in that way. 
“Well,” you sneer “I’m sorry if I have a hard time believing that.” You remove his hands from your shoulders stiffly and start to trudge away back to your horse.
In the years you’d known him, Arthur had been a force, even more so when he was younger and reckless. He was stubborn as a mule and despite keeping the peace for the most part, there was a strut in his step when he walked because he knew he had the power to change that fact whenever he wanted and get away scotch-free. Arthur was arrogant in that way, always threatening people with a smirk or an edge to his voice.
But this is the first time you see him flinch and it happens to be at your curt words.
A lump catches in your throat, but you’re too annoyed to care, all but continuing the short distance back to the hitching posts. Arthur is hot on your tracks, not letting up one bit. Maybe Bill was overhearing, maybe one of the girls stirred awake. It didn’t matter, you couldn’t care less. You just wanted to get the hell away from here.
His catches up to you in no time, his strides much longer than yours. He steps in front of your path and when you make a move to step aside, he mirrors your actions. You click your tongue, glowering at him from beneath your lashes. “Look,” he starts “now I know you may not like me, but I-“
That gets your anger rising to incomparable heights. “Not like you?!” You practically shout out. Looking around, you remember where you are and it’s the only reason your voice lowers. “Arthur, I’ve liked you since the day I met you!”
His eyebrows pull together and his nose crinkles. Arthur’s face morphs into something like agitation from its previous confusion. “So, why all this attitude?”
You’re dejected. “Why all this attitude?” You softly hiss. “Why all this attitude when I’ve loved you for years and all I’ve heard about is Mary?”
Arthur winces. He steps back from you, recoiling like he’s just been shot by a sniper rifle.
Good, you think. He should feel like a right asshole.
“’Why all this attitude’ he says!” You giggle manically at the sheer ridiculousness of it all. “Where do I even start?” You begin to rant, hands back on your hips to give you some sort of anchor from sinking towards the ground.  “I don’t know Arthur, maybe it’s because while I’ve been here stewing in self-pity, you were always out seeing her.  Maybe, it’s because every time you were young, drunk, and broken, you’d come back whispering her name, mistaking her for me, and I was the one helping you pick up the pieces.”
Your heart was racing a million yards a minute, but you couldn’t stop now. All the hurt and sorry baggage poured out like molten lava, burning with years of intensity. “Or maybe-“ you point an index finger at him and snap sarcastically as if you’ve just discovered a newfound truth “Maybe, it was because I worked so damn hard to tell myself I wasn’t in love with you and you just-“ your voice breaks.
Arthur doesn’t interrupt you at any part of your monologuing. Just like usual, you can hardly decipher his emotions except notice the colour draining from his face.
“So, I’m sorry that I don’t believe you when you say It’s been me.” You continue. “You’ve given me no reason to believe otherwise.”
You sidestep him, not taking a single look back in fear of him seeing the tears threatening to spill from your eyes. You unhitch your horse, giving her a slight pat before mounting her again.
- - - - - - - - - - -
You don’t see or speak to Arthur for a few days after your argument.
You don’t have much energy to talk to anyone really.
So, you somehow end up back at a familiar field surrounded by evergreen trees and flowers. The crystalline water of the hot springs gleams in your eyes and a chill wind sends shivers up your spine.
You set up camp and stay a while. The serenity of the woods is welcomed. You don’t consider yourself the best hunter, but fishing didn’t require the same amount of dexterity. It's quiet, peaceful even. All you hear is the chirp of the birds and the steady flow of water.
It gives you time to cool off, reflect on everything that’s happened.
The more time you spend out here, the more hesitant you are to leave. It's a nice reprieve from the perils of civilization and you find yourself slipping away, trying to grasp a sense of comfort that's unimaginable for you most days.
Tends to happen when you're an outlaw, you suppose.
But one day, as you’re laying under the shade of a tree, feeling the blades of soft grass beneath you, you hear heavy footsteps starting to approach.
There's no need to bother even acting surprised.
Arthur takes a seat beside you with a deep sigh. He leans back, using his hands to support him.
The both of you are silent for a while, not one peep out of your mouths. You expect it to be uncomfortable but having him by your side brings an ease you haven’t felt in days. Arthur continues to stare up at the sun starting to descend in the horizon and you follow suit, eyes trained to the sky above.
“When I met you, I thought you were nothing more than a naïve, innocent little thing.” He starts, baritone drawl catching you off guard. You don’t realize how much you’d missed hearing it until now. “You were this small girl I needed to protect. “
 You glance towards him and notice the small smile now gracing his lips, his eyes glossed over like remembering memories from so very long ago. “You could barely ride a horse, hell, you could barely mount one.”
The genuine warmth in his voice continues to chip away any frustrations left within you as you recall those days like snapshots in your mind.
“Every day, it was something new with you.” He laughs out, making your heart traitorously skip a beat. “You were learning the ropes of it all, and for a while, you were just a ratty brat who wanted to try on boots that were too big for her.”  He pauses and you look at him more clearly this time, head turned towards him fully in an effort to really listen to what he has to say. “But Mary, she-“ he swallows “I could just turn my thoughts off with her.”
He gives out another sigh. “I loved her, I did.” He admits. “It was so easy loving her at the time. We had no expectations of one another, and then all of a sudden that shifted and I don’t know if I could have been the man she needed me to be.”
You ache but it’s not because he mentions his past lover’s name.
“So I ended up actin’ like a goddamn fool. Boozin’, sleeping around.” He groans, obviously not proud of his previous ventures. “Dutch and Hosea, they couldn’t pull me out of it. I mean, they tried everything, but then-“ He releases a relieved chuckle. “Some woman I’d never met before poured a bucket of cold water over my head and pulled out her revolver, threatening to shoot my dumb ass if I didn’t get up.”
You snort as you’re reminded of that day.
It was dry and humid, overall making it a miserable summer afternoon. Arthur stumbled back into camp smelling like he was doused in moonshine, groggy and slurring his words together. Even Hosea, forgiving as he was, cringed at his sorry state.
You just about had it.
After collecting some from the nearby stream, you pushed Arthur down and doused him in ice-cold water. He sputtered, clearly not happy about what you just did and attempted to get up to confront you. You pulled out your gun before he could and shot right between his legs onto the dirt below. “If you don’t pull your damn weight around here, I’ll make sure the next shot hits!” you shouted, utterly disappointed.
“Good times.” You mutter and Arthur’s smile widens.
“Sure.” He agreed. “When my eyes started to clear, I swear to god I thought I was looking at an angel.”
You had a hard time believing that too. “You looked at a woman who just shot at you and thought she was angelic?”
He tries to find better words. “I guess you looked ethereal all together.” He tries to explain. “Like you were something I’d see at the pearly white gates of judgement.”
You sat amused at his thoughts. “That so?”
He’s finally able to make eye contact with you and revels in that fact. “My vision was still a little hazy and you just stood over me, posture straight, hat on.” He takes his hand and scratches his chin. It’s a tick for when he’s nervous. “Your hair had a glow to it from the sun and your eyes, they just- had this fire in em’ I’d never seen before.”
His shoulders drop and the mood suddenly turns mellow. “When we were ridin’ around and ended up at this clearin’, you just took off without me and I realized how much you’d grown into yourself right under my nose. You didn’t change much, you were still the same old, sunshine, animal-lovin’ princess, but the way you carried yourself? Asserted yourself more?  God-.”
He holds your gaze as he continues and it’s like the world holds its breath for whatever he has to say next. “You rode off, hair wild, not looking back at me one bit and I just couldn’t stop starin’ at you because I thought you were such a damn sight.”
“It made me wonder-“ his words trail off. He stops for a while and you let him. You know how much courage it was taking him right now to admit this to you, letting down those guarded stone walls he loved so much.
You lick your lips, and in an act of your own bravery, you settle your hand on top of his, to which he visibly softens upon. “Made you wonder?” You urge.
“If that’s what Mary felt like, seeing me go all those times.” He finishes. “Because I hated it. I hated every time you got on that horse and left, and it would only hurt less whenever you came back.”
Arthur’s hand starts to clench, but you flip his hand in yours so you can interlock your fingers properly. You give his hand a squeeze and the tension eases off.
“But then I hear you wantin’ to go off with some man and all I could do was mope like a sorry idiot because what if-“ His throat works. “What if you rode off and didn’t come back this time?”
“Oh, Arthur.” You softly coo.
His hand starts to make small slow circles over your hands. “You know I realized something when I last saw Mary that I didn’t before.”
You’re expectant to hear what it is.
“Every time it got a little too rough between us, she was done with me.” He perceived. “I don’t blame her, she deserves someone to make her happy, but I wasn’t gonna change fast enough in her eyes.” He squeezes your hand tighter. “But you- you didn’t expect me to change on a dime. You were patient, you understood that I didn’t want to start a family not because I didn’t want to, but because I was afraid of feeling that pain again.”
After clenching his jaw, he takes his other palm and cups your cheek with the utmost tenderness a man of his size could muster. “With you, I feel like I can be something else, something good.” You lean towards his touch, begging that if this were a dream, you never wanted to be woken up. His gaze is soft on your features, highlighted by the starlight above.
“I fell in love with you a long time ago Arthur Morgan.” You confess. “I keep running away because no one holds me close enough to keep me somewhere.”
You feel a lump in your throat as you remember all the times you rode off wanting to hear him shout "Wait!", but he never did.
“I know and I’m sorry for that sweetheart, I really am.”
Tears start to escape your eyes and you don’t bother wiping them away. “Loving you hurt so much Arthur.” You whimper. “I started to pack all of those feelings away if it meant I didn’t have to ruin what we already had.”
He presses his rough lips to your forehead and leans back. “I know sweetheart, I’m sorry.” He tilts your chin up with a finger. “If I could go back and change the way I handled it all, I would.”
“Give me something to believe that this is real. That I’m not just making this up in my misery.”
Arthur takes a moment to look at you before he speaks. He takes the time to figure out how he’s supposed to approach what he wanted to convey “Close your eyes for just a second.” He mumbled, his voice pleading.
You don’t question it and do what he wants you to do. You fully accept you’d be one of those pathetic individuals who’d follow him off a cliff if it meant staying with him and keeping him safe.
In the darkness, you feel him pick up your hands and place them on his chest. Under your palms, you feel the fast thrum of the beat of his heart and the laboured way his chest rises. You stay like that for a few seconds and match your breathing to his.
“Okay,” his voice cuts through your thoughts “now open your eyes.” You follow his command and you open your eyes to Arthur with a tender expression. You feel his breathing get faster, like he’s almost waiting for a reaction.
You tilt your head. “What?”
Arthur chuckles quietly at your question. “This is me trying to prove I’m serious about you.” His hands are still around your wrists, keeping your palms on his chest in place.
“By what? Letting me feel you up?” You jokingly say. “Arthur, who do you think’s being lugging your heavy ass around when you’re drunk, cause it sure as hell ain’t Uncle-“
Even in the darkness that surrounded you, you can sense his embarrassment. He starts to sputter to quickly get words out “Wha- no, that’s not what- I- you-“ He stutters, clearly flustered at the comment. He sighs. “Now, that’s not what I meant and you know it, sweetheart.”
“So then, what?” You push. You’re not trying to be obtuse in any way, but you want to hear a proper answer.
Arthur swallows awkwardly. “I’m just- I want you to know that my heart beats for you.”
It puts you in such a complete state of shock, it renders you speechless.
Just a couple of days ago, you would have been thirsty to hear those words drip out of his lips, but now that you’ve actually heard him say it, you don’t know how to exactly respond.
“Sweetheart?” He calls, voice laced with worry.
You slowly lean down and press your ear against his chest, wrapping your arms around him. He smells like gun smoke and mountain air. The fast bu-dump of his heart is intoxicating, making you break out into a smile.
After a few seconds, he slowly places his own arms around you and pulls you in closer. His hold is firm. Secure. A bandwagon of bandits or federal agents could show up this instant and he wouldn’t let anything or anyone so much as even look at you the wrong way.
He tucks your head under his chin. “I can’t give you a house, or children, or land right now, but I want you to know you have my heart.” He places another soft kiss on your forehead. “You’ve had it for a long time and it’ll always be yours as long you’ll have me.”
“Well, I never thought Arthur Morgan was capable of such sweet words.” You tease.
You feel the rumble of his chest as he freely laughs. “Well, there’s a lot we don’t know about each other it seems.”
You give his statement some thought. “Maybe we can start to find those things about each other out.”
He nods against you. “I’d like that.”
You sniffle and follow him in letting out a laugh. “I’ll end up falling asleep here if we keep this up.”
He snickers at your comment. “I guess I’ll just have to carry you to bed then, huh?” He teases back, his tone light and playful.
You push away from his chest and fix your gaze directly at him, a dazed smile on your face. “I guess you’ll just have to, Arthur Morgan.”
His breathing hitches, obviously not expecting to be accepted on his offer. “Yeah, I suppose I will, sweetheart.”
You place a kiss squarely on his mouth and he reciprocates it almost immediately.
You grasp his face with your hands and do something you’ve been wanting to do since the day you met him.
His lips, though slightly chapped are soft and his stubble that he hasn’t shaved for weeks tickles your cheeks, poking you in a pleasurable way. You taste the tobacco on him and though you don’t smoke, maybe through kissing him you get the appeal. Fingers thread through your braid that’s falling apart by the second.
For the first time, you don't hold the butteflies back.
You part your lips to deepen the kiss and allow him to explore your mouth with his tongue.
It becomes hungry. Insatiable. It's years of pent up frustration and confusion exploding into a possession that consumes your whole body. He groans and you barely notice when he scoops you up, hooking his arm under your legs. “God, we could have been doing this earlier.” He growls.
As you giggle against his lips, Arthur continues to carry you, walking briskly towards your tent.
And the world around you stayed silent that night, except for a few hushed noises.
- - - - - - -
A/N: Yee-haw. Pls interact, I need to to talk to more RDR people lmao. pls.
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destroyingangelneveragod · 18 days ago
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HELLO MY LOVES
Good morning my friends!!!! This is a post for my dear friend Samah. @samah-2 is a mom with very young children and a family she needs to support. They have only 11 percent of their current goal. Can we try and get that to 25 percent by Christmas/Hanukkah????? Please!!! Or even by the 20th! Lets do this. This is urgent, they are in dire circumstances and really need support, especially with the worsening weather and ongoing israeli violence.
Please tag friends on here, send it it to them, share with your families, do whatever you can. Maybe in the tags, say if you donate and encourage a match. Even 5 dollar matches can go a long way if you have a platform.
It goes without saying that I should not have to beg people to donate. I know we are all in rough times but even a tiny amount and direct effort towards visibility can help.
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e1dritchjackal0pe · 9 months ago
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ᴛʜᴇ ᴠᴏɪᴅ ᴄᴀʟʟꜱ
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Summary: Your arranged marriage to the na-Baron is something that you look upon with a sense of dread and reluctance. His violence, brutality and cunning are something that haunts you. You should fear him. You do. But for some reason, you can't seem to stay away.
Warnings: 18+ content. MDI. AFAB, she/her pronouns. Reader is a virgin but not entirely inexperienced, virginity loss. Hints of morally gray reader. Oral (F!Receiving), biting and blood, PinV, non-protected sex, Canon typical violence (blood, death, gladiator fights). Feyd. Not proofread.
Notes: 20.4k words. The essence of enemies to lovers. The reader is an Atreides but not a daughter of Jessica. IDK ya'll, something about seeing Austin Butler bald and deranged has altered me.
𝔓𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔦𝔦
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I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. 
Your heart is in your throat. It feels as though it's lodged itself in place between the cartilage and flesh to choke your windpipe, making each breath snag and tremble. You can practically feel it pulsing along your pharynx. You try to focus, steeling yourself by lacing your fingers together until you fear you might break them. Not even the litany that has been engrained in you since childhood serves to center your thoughts, but still you try. Chanting lowly in your head and quietly under your breath as not to be heard. As not to reveal your anxiety, but you know that the evidence of your distress must be more than obvious. And it had been very apparent since this morning, as you prepared for your travel to Giedi Prime where you will be married. 
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
The looks that Lady Jessica had given you were harsh and piercing. The eyes of a teacher. You had found no forgiveness in her arms even though she has done her best to take the place of your mother. But she is a Bene Gesserit first. Always. Just as you must be. But you must also be an Atreides. Duty is your purpose. It runs in your blood. It's the very reason why you pull air into your lungs. It's why you were even born. You have to honor that. Even if it requires sacrifice. Even if fear trembles down each and every notch of your spine; even when your thoughts are scattered and wild; even with the entire trajectory of your life being placed into the palms of some of the most ruthless beings in the universe. You will survive. 
I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
You swallow harshly, trying to force down your nerves with it but the way that the craft shudders and trembles with the strain of breaking through the foreign planet's atmosphere doesn't help. It only serves to make your inner turmoil worse. Your gaze sweeps around the cabin, a hollow thing meant for military, not comfort, and the presence of a small squad clad in their combat armor reminds you of the strained relationship that your family has nurtured with this house for several millennia. A reminder that you aren't supposed to be here on your own. Nearly clawing at your own hands and struggling to center yourself as the cold, dark walls of the ship tremble and shake like the stomach of starved animal. Your wedding was supposed to take place on Richese, a neutral planet that no longer governs political alliances with neither Caladan nor Giedi Prime. That is what had been negotiated long before you were even born, with both Houses having been too paranoid to allow both products of their lineage onto enemy territory. But a month before the wedding, the Baron had sent word. An invitation of sorts, that he wished to encourage the House of Atreides to allow the union to commence on his soil as a token of good faith. As a signal that all of the bad blood and the violence shared between each party could finally be laid to rest.
But as with most houses, it was more than just an invitation. It strengthened the Harkonnen image to place forth the olive branch and if Duke Leto refused it could be seen in bad light. A sign of weakness or distaste. The summoning could not be refused lest it smear the Atreides name in the eye of the Emperor, always a fickle and superficial man. Even with that logic, you can't help the spike of anger that rouses in your chest and threatens to burn. It's because of that sense, no matter how correct it may be, that you're sitting in this damned ship, breaking into the polluted atmosphere of a dead planet when you could have had just one more day on soil that wasn't obscured and marred by heavy cities and volcanic rock. 
Selfish. You're just being selfish. 
Even though she is not here to guide you, the image of Lady Jessica's eyes flash within your mind, sharp and exacting despite their light shade; amplified by the delicate, embroidered fabric that framed her head just this morning.  School your face, her expression tells you. And she - or at least the mental image of her, is right. You can't let yourself fall to your emotions, no matter how strongly they want to eat you alive. You've prepared for this moment since your first breath. You've spent nearly every waking moment practicing in the ways of the Bene Gesserit under the guidance of Lady Jessica. You'vee spent countless hours poring over the history and politics of both houses in preparation for your future role; what must have amounted to months of studying the culture and customs of the Harkonnen. All of them seem to be rooted in violence and savagery in some way or another. Aggression and cunning are prized traits. Bloodshed is coveted. The people according to old texts and educational filmbooks are just as severe as their environment. An environment that they had cultivated from their brutal and avaricious nature, tearing up all of its resources until nothing was left. 
You can't help but wonder if you will suffer the same fate. 
But if you are going to be honest with yourself, it isn't the toxic hellscape or even the idea of marriage that puts you on edge. It is him. Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen is someone who is notorious for his violence. Stories of his conquests and cruelty echo out across the houses, Minor and Major; there is not a soul who hasn't heard of his reputation. And despite having been promised to him since before your birth, you haven't met the na-Baron once in your life. Both houses had been too stubborn to schedule an interaction between the two of you. Most likely due to mistrust. Plus, a meeting isn't necessarily required for a marriage to commence, not one amongst houses, at least. But the fact that you haven't so much as seen the na-Baron's face has always left you feeling horribly vulnerable. Like you have been left to navigate you footing in the dark and the slightest misstep might leave you to tumble into the void. It had been another reason why you have always been so adamant on learning of the Harkonnen people; some desperate venture to discover as much about your soon to be husband as possible. You've tried to paint some sort of image of him in your head with the information provided by word of mouth and old filmbooks. Gurney had been one of the first people to warn you of Harkonnen ruthlessness. Their proclivity towards greed and violence. A violence that they don't even spare their own people from. 
"You will have to be strong," he told you just before you had boarded onto the star craft, eager to speak to you before you left forever. It was his worry you knew. He was panicked inside despite being the picture of composure. The look in his eyes had kept you frozen in place, locked onto him even with the mild thrum of chaos and bodies clamoring around you, servants and soldiers alike working to prep the ship for your flight, loading trunks and chests full of your personal belongings onto the carrier. It was firm; the type of resolution that is brought from experience. From a personal sort of pain and the glint of it left you feeling empty; gutted. The only thing that kept you centered was the grip of his hand on your forearm, firm and warm in its hold like it may help to drill his words better into your skull. "Every moment will be a fight for you. Harkonnen sniff out weakness like dogs. You cannot yield. Ever." 
You've heard words like that about them all your life. Horror stories from Atreides soldiers who had encounters with opposing Harkonnen forces. Tales of stark, pale skin and the glint of snarling blackened teeth before they deliver a killing blow. Features that a younger version of yourself never would have imagined for her intended. But those naive, wistful fantasies that you used to entertain as a child are long gone now. Replaced by the harsh realities of war and bloodshed. When you were a girl, still ignorant to the true depth of your duties, you had imagined someone with kind, intelligent eyes as your future husband. Someone patient and understanding; even with the whispers of the Harkonnen's true nature lurking over you like leaping shadows. But back then you were young enough to have hope. Back then, you would dream of him too in the flashes of deep, piercing eyes; you'd hear the low rumble of a voice while blades flashed and carved through pale air. 
 And on some nights visions still torment you. But now they taunt with the sensation of phantom touches and the mirage of balmy skin that sears against you own so intently that sometimes it tears you from your slumber with ragged breaths and a humiliating heat between your thighs. 
You can feel the pressure in the cabin shift around you, weighing over your head and bearing down on your shoulders as the ship continues its descent. Your ears pop, and the sound has the awful, paranoid visual of snapping bones and tendons projecting across your mind. You pull a heavy breath into your lungs, holding it there while you try to shift your thoughts onto something less violent. Escaping to fond memories to try and soothe yourself. For a just a moment you pretend that you are not here at all, but back home on Caladan. You can see the ocean. The long stretch of crystalline water, glittering underneath the cast of the balmy sunlight as trawlers coast along the current to capture netfuls of fish, looking like dots along the distant horizon. But it's always the wind that you love the most. Even when the skies are clear, unmarred from the blot of heavy rainclouds, you can always smell the presence of a storm in the air, perfuming the breeze with the earthy musk of petrichor and the fresh salt of the ocean. You can practically feel the brush of lush grass sweeping along your palms, prickling along the sensitive skin with the damp hint of the dew that seeps from the rich ground. 
Your reverie is shattered to a million pieces when the metallic hum of the craft's engine reverberates across the walls and floor of the cabin, signaling that it is approaching the ground; preparing to land. Each pulse of the sharp groan sounds like the pound of a nail in a casket. You can just barely focus around the wild patter of your heartbeat in your ears and for a moment you think that you might become ill. You could still feel the warmth of your brother's arms around your body. The way that he had clung to you. Like he was afraid to let go; to watch you slip from his life. In turn you had latched onto him, hesitant to unwind your arms from him, trying to claim the feel and scent of him to memory. But you couldn't have remained that way forever, and when you had pulled away from each other, the corners of his mouth were perked up into a smile. But it was too dull, too forced to be truly happy. You saw something mournful peeking through it, even while he tried to appear composed for your sake. You know how much he opposes of your intended matrimony. You have eavesdropped on the arguments he has shared with your father behind closed doors, attempting to fight for your sake even though it was a lost cause. His fear that you might not survive the ruthlessness of the Harkonnen, his misguided guilt for you taking his intended place. It had made you sorry for him the first time he had confessed that remorse to you. That he felt as though he was the one to blame for your marriage because it was his initial future to wed into the Harkonnen House had he not been born a male. Even with your near constant insistence that it was not his burden to bear, he refused to shed the weight of his self-imposed guilt. Always so damn stubborn. 
You had done your best to return his smile, softly squeezing his hand to comfort him and center your mind while the briny Caladan wind swept across the landing pad. But the memory cannot keep your heart from plummeting down to your gut when the craft finally touches the ground, shuddering lightly as it lands with a deep whir. 
You're here. You are actually on Giedi Prime now. 
There is officially no turning back. 
You feel like a ghost when you are drawn to rise, and you hardly register the fact that you haven't moved from your place on the seating to stand on your feet once the ship is still. You feel like an empty vessel, seeing but not registering as everyone moves about the empty space with practiced ease to stand before the hatch. The small unit of four soldiers have all built a formation around you and your own handmaidens, who stand diligently behind you. On any other occasion, they would have lined themselves in front of you all as well. Especially during affairs with the Harkonnen. But this is not a regular affair, and as trivial as it may seem, something as simple as guards posed in front of the Duke's daughter could be viewed as an act of distrust. A blight on your wedding and the union of the houses. 
Despite the way that everyone holds themselves; the images of discipline with perfect posture and heads held high, the apprehension that taints the atmosphere could be mistaken for a tangible thing. You could still see glimpses of tension set in the soldiers' shoulders; you could see the rigidity in their necks, anticipation and worry hidden underneath their armor.
Your father should be here too. Your family. But you know that they can't. A matter of ill, convenient timing that required them to board their own ship to leave for Arrakis. The Emperor had passed the fief to the House of Atreides, calling them to abandon their position on Caladan - to abandon your ancestorial home - in favor for the desert and the production of spice. It was an unexpected development, but one that your father would not turn down. As angry as you would like to be, you know how difficult this is for him. You have wanted to blame him for so long. And for a while you did. He's your father. He is supposed to protect you. To keep your happiness and security in mind. But because of the perspective, it is also easy to forget that he is more than just your father, he is also a Duke, with countless lives to defend and shelter. He is an Atreides. 
You are an Atreides, and there is no call you do not answer. 
You had shared one final look with him on Caladan, underneath the golden rays of the morning sun.  You didn't flinch or waver underneath his gaze. You remained firm, and some sort of understanding passed between the both of you, melting away the hatred and betrayal that ran thick in your blood stream. In that split second, you saw so much pass through his eyes: determination, acceptance and something like a bare shred of loss before it was quickly masked by unwavering resolve. A resolve that you too had to master. 
A dull jolt sounds out across the dark, metallic space and with it the large hatch of the ship begins to open, exposing a sliver of pale light. Butterflies erupt inside of your gut at the sight of the glow, brushing along your stomach and threatening to overcome you with a rush of nausea. But you hold yourself still, attempting to swallow down the unease but suddenly your throat is bone dry and stuffed with cotton. Perhaps the only thing that keeps you in place is the promise the Feyd-Rautha will not be present at your arrival. A small respite that your father had been able to secure you in the form of a Caladan wedding custom; that your husband should not be able to see you before your ceremony, lest the matrimony fall to bad luck. And in truth it is a tradition. One that has trickled down through the ages from Old Earth, so it was not necessarily done by means of deceit. Even so, the Baron had apparently been less than thrilled by the prospect of keeping you and his nephew separated once on the same soil, though it seems that your father still had managed to persuade him regardless. A small victory for you at least. 
Now all you can do is hope that the Baron has stuck to his word. 
You watch with ice in your veins and frozen lungs as the ramp continues to lower, yawning open akin to the jaws of an animal that threatens to discard you at the feet of starving beasts like scraps. More of that harsh light flows into the dark of the cabin, spilling over the heads of the soldiers, eating up the floor until it slips over your body, rising up over you until it reaches your eyes like a blaze; threatening to blind you with its intensity. You wince from the brightness of it, blinking rapidly until your eyes adjust to the absence of shadows. The surprised, low hiss that erupts from behind you, tells you that one of your handmaidens has also been taken off guard and blinded. 
With the continuation of its descent, it begins to reveal a blackened skyline of buildings that rise like slopping monoliths. Massive structures eat up the ground and cast stretching shadows across the dark platform. It strikes you that the little bit of the visible sky is a pale, as though a flat storm cloud had consumed the heavens. It isn't blue like the skies back home, or even orange or anything. It is simply a white void. It's all monochrome. Devoid of color and life. Everywhere that you look is either a piercing black or a violent white that almost burns to behold, and it is with a quick, almost hesitant inspection downward that you discover that the emerald hue of your silk dress has turned a shade of a deep smoky black from the strange illumination. 
But you don't get time to dwell on the discovery for long before the ramp meets the ground with a dull groan. It might as well as be a death sentence. You just barely catch sight of the of the figures that are lined along the platform, silently waiting for you to step out into the light. In your stupor, you have noticed that the number of Harkonnen that wait for your exit is a rather small group. It is not a massive procession with banners or celebration; there is no intrigued crowd of citizens awaiting to evaluate you. No more than five Harkonnen stand out on the platform, focusing on you with the distance the separates your parties with clasped hands and heads held high. The Baron it seems, holds no excitement for your arrival and has made no effort to welcome you on Giedi Prime. The message has been made clear of what he thinks of this union. Of you. 
The bastard. 
The world has gone hush. Dead silent as everyone awaits your move. And it is with that thought suddenly that you realize that everyone is waiting for you to take action. You are no longer expected to follow. You aren't allowed the crutch of following after your father or Lady Jessica's footsteps. They aren't here to guide you anymore. You steel yourself with a deep breath, drawing up your shoulders as you will yourself to step forward. Your legs are suddenly heavy like they have been strapped down with boulders and iron, but you force them into a stride regardless. Even when each move forward feels like a motion closer to your demise. 
You can hear the gentle clink of your Handmaidens heels as they dutifully trail after you. It gives you some comfort, no matter how small, that you have some familiar faces amongst you. That you aren't completely alone here. 
Still, you try to distract yourself. And in some mad scramble, your mind latches onto some old passage that you had read back on Caladan during one of your distant studies. It has you daring to sneak a few glances upward to the pale sky in between your focus forward, squinting through the glare, ignoring the way that the delicate chained veil draped across your face nudges against your eyelashes in your search for the sun. You had heard of its description countless times, seen holograms of it before, but none of them had managed to do the true thing honesty. In its blaze, it is claimed to cast an infrared shine which explains the bleak, washout coloration of the planet. But seeing the source of said lighting was entirely different. You do your best not to openly gawk at. To not stare at it for too long. The last thing that you want is to go blind; your fortune is terrible enough as is. But you're unable to stop yourself from stealing fleeting peeks at the star. If you didn't know any better, you could have mistaken it for a sort of eclipse. It looks like a black hole has torn through the heavens, gaping like an open wound, and you would have no idea that it was burning if not for the streams of light radiating from its rounded edges like a halo. 
Even with the remnants of your hatred smoldering through your body and turning your muscles rigid, you can't deny that there is a kind of odd beauty about the star. It's strange to see something that you had learned about so many years ago, and there is some detached part of you that has not fully accepted that you are even truly here. That small piece is still safely tucked away on Caladan, admiring as the sea meets the cliffside in a rolling crest of foam and froth. 
But that still is not enough to keep you from your reality. 
You all come to a unanimous halt, standing to leave a decent breadth between you and the Harkonnen. You have heard many things of the Baron of Giedi Prime. His guile. His hedonism. Whispers among the houses claimed him to be a gargantuan man. Someone whose intensity and mannerisms alone command attention and make men cower. The Baron, you quickly deduce, is not here. It seems that he has sent his advisors and servants in his stead. Whether that be from arrogance or indolence, or hatred, you are not sure. 
The man who stands at the in the center of the greeting committee holds himself with an air of importance. Back straight and hands clasped as he analyzes your small party. He is awfully pallid, just as his other companions are, a product of being denied ultraviolet rays that could be found in your planets own sun. The hulking black star cradled in the sky above you is hardly able to provide a proper tan it seems. The stark, unforgiving light casted from the solar body bathes you all in a layer of an achromatic hue, and it glints across the rounded skin of his bare scalp. They are all bald, you have easily observed, and you can just faintly recall reading a chapter in regard to Harkonnen beauty standards. Their proclivity to remove every ounce of hair from their bodies as a sign of cleanliness and purity; the means to extract themselves from their meek beginnings and perhaps, to a degree, a way to separate themselves from humanity. But the dark vertical strip that stretches across the expanse of his bottom lip signifies his position as a Mentat. 
"Lady Atreides," the Harkonnen advisor greets, voice deceptively placid and monotone. "We are grateful for your arrival. I trust that the trip was respectable." His words are kind, but the expression on his face is decidedly neutral. There is something about him that instantly unnerves you. Be it the unrushed nature of his mannerisms or the sly look in his eyes, you are not sure, but he sets you on edge. 
You force yourself to speak, calming your features into something just as blank and fixed as his own. "It was fair," you answer truthfully, before pointedly scanning the surrounding area. "It is a beautiful planet." A lie is you have ever said one, and the Mentat does not appear to be ignorant to your sad attempt at charm. Even with the unmoved aura that radiates from him, you are sure that you spotted a small glimmer of amusement pass through the dark of his eyes. 
"I am pleased you think so," he replies easily. "In any case, I have my orders to deliver you to the Baron as soon as possible. An event is being held in the honor of your union to the na-Baron. You shall not want to miss it." 
The confession feels as though it has doused you with ice water, but you refuse to show your distress. You're not stupid. You know that at some point, you would have to face the Baron. You were just hoping that it would not have been so soon. You should have known better, you suppose, that the Baron would give you single moment of reprieve once on his planet, and now you are suddenly not so sure that you want to have to attend a celebration of any sort. 
"Wonderful," you force a smile, one as polite you can manage while making sure to keep your voice gentle and inviting. 
"Leave your soldiers here. They won't be necessary." 
The request leaves you troubled. For a moment you stand there silently, a little dumbly even. That last thing you want to do is leave your only form of proper protection outside on an unfamiliar world. Especially one as hostile and deceitful as Giedi Prime. But you do not have many options here. You are in no true form of power. You are not yet married to the na-Baron, you are lightyears away from your own planet - which doesn't belong to your family anymore by the Emperor's decree - and your father must be on Arrakis by now; even farther away. You are now the one who dictates your fate and survival, and although promised to the na-Baron, your life is still not secured. You must be tactful. 
You turn your head to look over your shoulder at the soldiers who diligently stand behind you and your handmaidens. Your focus meets the unwavering stare of the lieutenant; his hardened countenance, his lips pressed into a firm line. The nod you give him is subtle, but it is still a command, and with it, he and his men silently step back. 
When you return your attention back on the Mentat it is difficult to tell if he is pleased or not with how blank he keeps his features. It's unnerving but then he spins on his heels without any more fanfare and his fellow Harkonnen are quick to shadow him. Hesitation bears heavy in your gut, but even with your instinct telling you to run; to flee, you steel yourself. Drawing in a deep breath to clear your mind, you follow. 
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You are not sure what you had expected to find when you had allowed the Mentat to lead you. Some wild, senseless part of you feared that he may have taken you to your death. Led you to a trap to be slaughtered. But no dagger has been raised to your chest. He has not summoned soldiers from the shadows to pull you away and toss you into a tomb. Or maybe in a way he has. 
The doorway that you stand before is daunting. Affixed in front of you like a rival. It is such a trivial, ordinary thing. You have passed through thresholds millions of times in your years, twisted knobs and guided doors open to pass through them. But suddenly, such a mundane thing seems to stand out like a hazardous sign - a bad omen. You know who lies beyond it. Who you must face. Now your bravery threatens to allude you. To leave you abandoned and flailing. It does not help that your handmaidens had been dismissed for you. Guided away by Harkonnen servants, and when you had asked the Mentat as to where they were being taken, what intentions lie ahead for them, he didn't answer. His silence on the matter has left you disturbed; fueled your mind to wonder and theorize about the worst. That they may be harmed. 
He stands next to you now, just as silent as before, watching you expectedly. 
No. You cannot flounder here. You cannot cower or cry. Your duty - your lineage will not allow it. 
With a newfound determination, you step forward with your chin raised proudly. Activated by the motion, the dark door slips open, beckoning you enter, and you answer the invitation without wavering. The Mentat doesn't follow after you, but you hardly pay that any mind, too focused on analyzing the room that you now stand in. The space is open and capacious, and you spot a line of servant girls rowed up to the right with their backs against the wall. They don't glance up when you look at them, even though you can tell that they are aware of your presence. They remain silent, eyes trained on the floor and posture rigid. There is fear in them. 
As if drawn by a magnetic pull, you attention leaves them to wander to the opposite end of the room. His back is facing you, but even then, you are certain that all of the stories you have heard of him will not prepare you for this moment. Even as he perches - lounges on the support of his seat from fully across the room, his presence commands your attention. The order that his being silently instructs is only amplified by the cool, harsh light that pours down around him from the viewing window, highlighting his shape as he sits like a gargoyle poised. The gossip was true, it seems, he is a corpulent man and shares the same ashen complexation as the other Harkonnen that you have seen thus far. And suddenly as curiosity burns in you to see the face of the person who has harmed so many, who has left his blight on the galaxy. 
"Are you joining me, or are you intent on staying in the shadows?" 
The voice is so rough and crude that it shocks you, prickling over your skin with the all the coarseness of sandpaper, and you just barely refrain from showing your displeasure at its harshness. It's graveled as it passes into your ears, but it seizes one's attention instantly, causing the hairs scattered along your body and at the nape of your neck to stand on end. Still you move forward, by the impulse of your own intrigue or the authoritative quality of his voice, you aren't certain, but you cross the breadth that separates you all the same. Each step reveals more of his face to you. The slope of his nose, the crow's feet that cluster around the corners of his eyes, the prominent frown that weighs upon his face. He doesn't spare you a glance as you stop beside him; intently focused on what lies outside of the balcony. 
"Lord Baron," you greet, nodding your head down and bending your knees in a curtsy. 
His hand raises up in a manner than almost seems reprimanding, and it causes you to freeze still, staring at those fingers like he might mean to strike you. But the curl of them is far too lax to deliver a proper blow and it is enough to give you some relief. 
"There is no need for formalities, " he speaks. Then his stare is on you: flaying you open, evaluating, weighing, searching your worth. But underneath the judgement of someone like him, you cannot waver. "We are family now, are we not?" 
The mere implication has you fighting off the urge to shudder in disgust. Instead, you straighten yourself and manage a polite smile. Or you hope that it seems polite at least. Thankfully, he doesn't wait for your answer. He casts a brief glance to the vacant chair close you, and you need no verbal instruction on what he wants, even though he still gives it. 
"Sit," he offers. Commands really. 
 It pains you to comply, to follow the will of the man that you have been guided to resent since you realized consciousness, no matter how small the order, but you swallow your pride. 
Carefully you turn on your feet, being mindful not to nudge the small table that is posted beside the chair, and you make note of the pair of theater binoculars that are displayed on the counter, waiting to be used. Gathering the light pull of your skirt to sit without crumbling the fabric, you allow yourself to recline in the seat and try to ignore how close you are to the Baron. But you suppose that you should learn to come to terms with it. He will be a permanent fixture in your life, whether you like it or not. Though it does not make it any easier to swallow down the bitter taste of loathing on your tongue. Desperate for a distraction your eyes are quick to look out past the boarders of the balcony and the sight that greets you latches onto your focus instantly. It is a wonder how you had even managed to miss the view upon your entrance. But in your defense, you were a little preoccupied. Now you are hardly able to look away. The sheer mass of the structure leaves you captivated. Great, sweeping, walls rise; climbing up towards the blank heavens with rows of seats secured between the hulking barriers. Pale, shifting shapes roar and cheer inside the stands in a fervent display of excitement and anticipation. People you quickly realize. All of them chanting loudly. But the distortion their voices all layered up into a chaotic stream makes it difficult to understand it. The walls that hold them and the very room you sit in encircle a massive plot of bare earth. It is an arena. 
You have seen a few of them in your lifetime. Visited the old coliseums on Caladan. The same ones that your very ancestors had fought wild bulls in. You walked along the ancient, stone walls and pillars, cupped the golden sand within your palm and allowed it to run through your fingers. But the sheer scale of this structure is mindboggling and the number of people that have all massed together to bear witness to its exhibition is even greater. The Mentat had promised you a celebration in the honor of your marriage, and you had been left to wonder what that said celebration may have been. But now you have your answer. There is the evidence of a ferocious fight having taken place in the arena. The face of the white sand bellow has been disturbed. Blemished and smudged by footprints and the clear sign of a struggle; that the fighters had rolled along the ground and tussled for their breath. But even more damning is the dark stains that are streaked and pooled along the course earth. Even with the coloration altered black by the dark sun above, you know that it is blood. 
"A gladiator fight," you conclude aloud, and there is even an edge of scornful humor on your tone. "If you truly wanted a spectacle, you could have me thrown down there. I'm sure your people would love to watch an Atreides be slaughtered." You are not sure where the comment comes from. A sudden burst of confidence or perhaps defiance. You regret your snark as soon as you register the words, but it is too late for apologies now. You simply squeeze your clasped hands together tighter, even while your head is held high. A raspy, amused sound erupts from beside you, like air escaping a puncture, and you just vaguely realize that it is a chuckle. The Baron is laughing even as the smile hardly reaches his face. It is a small sound. Barely even qualifying as a laugh, but it eases you still. 
"A spectacle indeed." He says it as though he is in on a secret that you are not privy to. Part of a joke you might never know, and it immediately snuffs out the small sense of composure that you had achieved. "But I have no use for you dead." 
"Then what use do you have of me?" You pry. 
He hums, a hushed, guttural sound. "Do you know why you are to be married to my nephew?" 
The question gives you pause. There are many duties that you are required to perform in the union with the na-Baron. It is a political alliance first and foremost. A joining of two rival houses, meant to put to rest the animosity that has burned between you both for over 10,000 years. But it is also much more than that. You are to give him an heir as well, the continuation of his lineage. But the Harkonnen are not the only ones who intend for you to produce a child: the Bene Gesserit also demand a progeny of your union (though the Baron must remain ignorant to that design). It is why your mother had been sent the Duke in the first place, to correct Lady Jessica's mistake and birth a daughter. To birth you. So much is dependent on this marriage to flourish. Much that you yourself probably are not even privy to, but it is your duty to perform regardless. If you fail, your family name will forever be smeared and the possibility of the Kwisatz Haderach may be lost to eternity. And you will not allow your mother's death to be in vain. 
"Yes." 
Once more he turns his head to face you and his eyes glint with a deadly intensity. "Then you know of your purpose. "
It is a plain sentence, but it speaks volumes in its simplicity and its intent is not lost on you. It is a warning. A set of instructions that you are meant to follow. Keep your head down, your mouth shut and fulfil your function as promised and you may make it out of this arrangement unscathed. It has anger flaring in the pit of your stomach, prickling over your skin and heating up your face. The desire to say something in defense of yourself rises up high, but you know that you must hold your tongue. You are sure that he can see your opposition in your eyes as much as you try to control it, but he does not mention it. His vision roves over your visage like he is studying you and your reactions, in search of weakness. 
"Now watch." He says and returns his attention back to the bloodied sand beneath. 
Your eyebrows furrow, openly showing you confusion. What the Baron desires you to see, you don't know. You can hardly imagine what he has in store for you but given the nature of the arena and the Baron himself, it surely won't bode well for you. You don't dare to question him or ask that he elaborate. Your mouth remains fixed shut as you survey the colosseum with your breath locked within your lungs. An unwanted type of anticipation prickles at your fingertips and toes; spurred on by the way that the crowd rouses into a frenzy and the vibrations of their riotous cries strike across the atmosphere. The sound of their shouting spikes until it is thunderous, and you can hear the blunt sound of their fists beating against the stadium like a hammer striking down on an iron nail. Despite the many voices overlapping and yelling to be heard of the others, somehow in their clamoring, their words have become clearer. And it is not just words that they are spouting. It is a name. 
Feyd-Rautha. 
You are certain that your lungs cease to function. That they die inside your chest while you still live. The na-Baron is going to fight. You're going to see him. Despite wanting to slip your eyes closed, your body betrays you, leading you to scour along the dark sweeping walls of the arena in a terrified search that does not stop until your vision lands on what looks to be a massive entrance built into the bordering wall of the colosseum. Your heart flutters like a startled bird, quivering wildly like a pair of wings would. "I thought my father said that we would not see each other before the wedding?" 
"He said that he could not look at you. But there was no discussion of you witnessing him," the Baron answers. 
You do not know why the prospect of it makes you shift uncomfortably in your seat, wishing that you could sink into the cushion and vanish. Perhaps it's because seeing him would truly sink the severity of your new reality in. There would truly be no avoiding it once you do. All you can think of is all of the rumors and gossip that you had heard over the many years. The horrible tales of a psychopath. A man unhinged. No better than a rabid dog on a frayed rope. People spoke of a remorseless monster that delighted in blood and was unflinching in delivering death. Other's claimed that his appearance is just as terrifying as his actions. That he's gaunt and hideous to behold with awful, jagged teeth and bloodshot eyes. 
That is not a truth that you are ready to face, and your desire to remain ignorant to the possibility of his unsightly features burns in your gut. You are so caught up in your own anxieties that you hardly register the blaring of the announcer's voice sounding across the stadium, warbling over the sound system to praise and declare the arrival of the man who you have been dreading. You're entirely conflicted; transfixed as the entrance on the far end of the arena begins to slip open, even though your instincts tell you to turn your focus elsewhere. The floor, your hands, the crazed crowd. Anything. But is like watching a great fire or a calamity. The entire time your consciousness warns you not to look, but you are unable to. It is almost as if you have been casted under a horrible spell. Bewitched to see him even though you don't wish to. 
You stare helplessly at the threshold of the arena, and for a moment you wonder if it might be the entrance to the underworld instead. A dark, consuming void for a demon to come crawling out of. But this demon does not crawl. He marches. 
A figure strides out from the gateway wielding two recurved blades and the crowd erupts in an exhilarated cry. From the distance and height, you are unable to discern his features, but the way that he carries himself is already more than enough to give insight to his personality. His steps are long, eating up the ground in quick, measured paces; his shoulders are raised and straight, exuding pride. It's the saunter of someone confident in themselves and their abilities. Someone who is not just in their element but basking in it. He raises an arm high in the air, brandishing his fist and the weapon he clutches in it to address the masses, pointing the tip of the blade to sky as it erupts in a flurry of strange fireworks that burst and flourish like blots of heavy ink. The crowd punch their own arms up in turn and shout his name like an impassioned prayer. 
The apprehension chilling your chest begins to thaw, giving way to a strange sort of curiosity and before you know it, you're reaching for the theater binoculars placed on the table beside you. Anticipation thrums in your veins, nearly making your fingers shake around your grip of the handle as you lift the device up to your face, lining it up to peer into the eyepieces. It takes a moment for your brain to process what it is seeing. Who it's seeing. It's surreal how his once distant, blurred features have become clear and amplified underneath the optics of the binoculars. The familiarity of him strikes you like an unforgiving wave despite never having met him before. But everything, from his gait and the shape of his face seems as though you have gazed upon it a thousand times, ran your fingertips across the rise of his cheek bones and the plains of his face even though you haven't. The familiarity terrifies you, but it also keeps your attention firmly locked onto him. 
What catches your attention first are his eyes. It is difficult to tell their shade from underneath the monochrome emittance of the sun - they seem dark but some buried, distant instinct whispers that they're truly blue. A light shade akin the ocean, glittering in shades of pale cerulean and teal. It strikes you how they burn with a calculated excitement. A dangerous, fervid type of delight as he gauges the crowd with rapt attention. Even with the intense light bathing most of the scenery shades of white you know that the pale complexion of his skin is natural. Paired with the sharp angles that create his features it makes him seem as though he could have been cut from marble; a statue gifted with life and will. His lips, you shamelessly notice, are plush, and are set into a soft pout. 
Even with resentment for the Harkonnen still fueling your heartbeat you're unable to deny that the stories and claims that you had heard about his appearance were awful exaggerations. Absolute lies. You don't want to admit it, but there is a kind of beauty about him. Not one that you would have found on your home planet, but he's quite attractive in a way that is almost lethal. It strikes you in a way that it shouldn't. 
You continue to watch him as he comes to halt in the center of the arena, twisting his feet in a circle to look upon every section of the crowd before facing the direction of the balcony. He begins to lower himself to the ground, resting a single knee onto the sand in a sort of bow. All the while his eyes are trained upward, dangerously close to where you sit and you know that he's looking towards the Baron, kneeling to show his respects. All you can do is pray that he will pay your presence no mind. That he won't care enough to acknowledge you. 
It seems that the universe has no desire to answer your prayers this day. 
His dark focus flickers onto you so suddenly that you hardly have time to register it. As your eyes meet through the glass of the device, you suddenly feel as though you have been laid bare. The deafening cries of the masses fade down into a distant hum as all of your focus centers down onto him. You've never felt so exposed in your life. Like all of your every part of you has been spread open and seen; the darkest facets of you are held forward. It's like he's actually seeing you somehow. Peering at you through the distance that keeps you apart. But it's impossible for him to truly make out your features underneath the guise of the decorative chains that drapes over your face. He can't properly see you from your place this high. Still it feels as if he is looking directly at you, past the distortion of the distance and the cover of your veil and peering into your soul. 
You drop the pair of binoculars away from your face, severing the image of his focused gaze and the odd connection that had been created. Still you can't drop your attention from his figure down in the arena, but the loss of the close, magnified image of the device offers you some type of reprieve. He had felt too close, too near with their usage and the distance helps to soothe you. And with your regular vision provided to you, you are able to notice the other entrances posted along the walls are opening. 
The na-Baron realizes this as well. His head cocks in the direction of the open threshold to his far left, rising up from his crouched stance to properly assess it, eyes trained on the dark gapping gateway as a man ambles out from the shadows. Two others emerge from separate doorways on opposite sides of the colosseum, and Feyd-Rautha shifts his body to appraise them both in their slow approach. The three of them all but shamble towards the na-Baron, feet dragging lethargically across the sand like they caught under a drunken stupor. The realization dawns on you easily, and you are unable to stop yourself from turning to face the Baron with bewildered scowl. "They're drugged?" You accuse, sparing no judgement in your tone. 
"We cannot risk the safety of the na-Baron," he explains without shame, and draws a deep drag from a smoking pipe clutched within his hand. "Measures must be taken." 
You want to argue. But what use would that be? There is not an ounce of remorse or shame in his body. You've known this for years; you didn't have to meet him to realize that. You have heard countless tales of the Harkonnen's selfishness and deceit, so it should be no surprise that they're underhanded enough to rig a fight to the death in their favor. That they couldn't even do their slaves and prisoners the respect of dying in a fair fight. And the na-Baron stands so proudly in the center of that ring, holding himself high as though the scales have not been tipped in his favor. You knew that you were to wed a sadist. A violent, venomous man. It was a shame that you had to marry one that is also dishonorable. 
In the prisoners' approach, blackened figures seem to materialize from the walls of the arena looking like creatures out of a twisted fable. There is a great number of them, six you believe, if your hasty count does not fail you, all clad in a dark skintight material. But even more strangely are the horned headdresses that they all wear; it extends over their countenances to make them appear faceless and inhuman. They vigilantly wander along the border of the arena, and some even dare to skulk close to the slaves as they near the na-Baron, wielding some sort of weapon within their hands like they are prepared to strike the fighters if necessary. They must be referees of some sort, but their costumes make them look like dark spirits instead.
This game truly is devised in Feyd-Rautha's favor. 
The gladiator-slave that approaches from the left is the closest, covering the distance that separates him and the na-Baron quickly despite being lamed by the hinderance of drugs. With the raucous roar of the crowd resonating across the air, the suspense is palpable, hanging heavy and almost painful like a breath that has been held for too long and the people are desperate for release. You can't help the way that you watch expectantly, holding onto the handle of the binoculars like it might help keep you grounded while you observe Feyd-Rautha from the safety of your perch. 
He faces the approaching fighter. And for a moment you think that he is going to make the man hobble to over to him entirely, too cruel or perhaps even lazy to meet his competitor head on. But when the fighter brandishes his sword in an overreaching arch Feyd lunges forward on spry feet, cutting up the small remaining bit of distance with two massive strides and blocks the blade with his own. The arc that the prisoner had raised his weapon in was far too high. It left his most vital organs exposed to be gutted, and the blink of an eye the na-Baron takes the opening, deftly shoving the tip of his opposing weapon into the man's stomach and driving it in deep. The fighter's body goes limp near instantly, the hand holding his weapon slackens and when Feyd-Rautha pulls his sword from his opponent's stomach, he stumbles back on weak legs before tipping back onto the sand, lying belly up in a dead weight to bleed out on the ground.
You have heard of death all your life. Soldiers of your house have shared their stories of gore and anguish to you before. The horrors of the battlefield. And you yourself are no stranger to blood and bruises, having been trained by the best of your father's ranks and even Lady Jessica herself in the ways of fighting and hand to hand combat. Your teachings were meant for survival. Defense. But this is senseless murder set in the guise of entertainment. Cruelty.
Feyd-Rautha does not share the sentiment. He twists around to face the remaining fighters, mouth twisted into a feral snarl, muscles tense, ready to deliver another killing blow. He is clearly on some type of rush after claiming his first kill and his eyes dart between the pair of gladiators, gauging which one to attack first. Both of the prisoners have synced their steps as best as they can, with one coming towards the na-Baron from the front while the other nears from the back, intending to slay him together. 
But Feyd does not appear to be stressed by the prospect in the slightest, in fact you are sure that even from your elevated height you can still make out the presence of a smile on his lips. Delighted and fueled by the rush of adrenaline and the hope of slaughter. He evaluates them both carefully, waiting them out. He doesn't have to wait long though, because suddenly the one who stands behind is rushing towards him in a move that is entirely too impatient, the lapse in judgement probably brought on by the influence of the substance coursing through his veins. The other fighter is still too far from Feyd to offer any assistance, making them both fail in their effort to overwhelm him and attack at once. The na-Baron deflects the strike of the prisoner's sword easily, shoving the man back with the union of their blades to create enough space to deliver a harsh bone rattling kick to the man's bare chest. He stumbles back a few feet, dust spraying in his flounder as he struggles to collect himself from the soiled earth. 
Feyd doesn't have time to strike him down while he is vulnerable, because the second fighter finally reaches him, dipping his body low with the intent to strike his sword into the na-Baron's unguarded back, aimed for the spine. But Feyd is unsurprised by the attack; smooth and effortless in his movements as he rotates around on his feet to slip from the blades course and with the glint of silver the man's throat is sliced as he passes the na-Baron. You hardly would have realized that his neck had been cut at all if not for the way that rivulets of black have begun to pour from the wound, slipping down the pale hue of his skin and dripping to the bleached sand below before he collapses. 
The crowd somehow manages to erupt with even more passion to goad their na-Baron on dispatching the last man. But Feyd doesn't move on prisoner while he's still down on the ground, up righting himself on sluggish, weak knees. It is hard to stomach the sight of it, and you're certain that you can feel the oily, distant impression of nausea bubbling in your stomach. It urges you to look away, but you can't. You are frozen still. Locked into place as you watch Feyd pace around the arena like a predator stalking the bars of its enclosure. He's impatient in his wait for the fighter to finally get up on his feet, and you find yourself a little disbelieving that he would even allow the prisoner that little bit of respect, instead of slaying him while he was down and unable to properly defend himself. Maybe there is some honor in him after all. It's buried and diluted, but it seems there may be a shred of it still. 
The gladiator finally raises himself to his feet, spreading his legs wide to distribute his weight between his feeble legs. You can see resolve slip across the man's body, straightening his shoulders as best as he can to secure the grip he has on his weapon.  But it only prompts more of that amusement to flicker over Feyd's features before he springs towards his opponent. They meet in the clash of lethal blades, and their bodies twist and move like well-oiled machines. Even being drugged and exhausted, the prisoner's movements are powerful and practiced, but you doubt that it will be much of a match for Feyd. He has too many aspects in his favor. The game has fully been fabricated for his victory. But even with that in mind, you would be foolish not to acknowledge the way that the na-Baron uses his body. It is truly a sight - hypnotic almost. The slices he takes with his sword and the strikes that he bares down at his rival are tight. Swift, calculated blows that are charged with raw strength. He acts with pure, practiced confidence. It's clear that the art of combat comes as easily as breathing to him; second nature. The sight of him dodging and deflecting jabs underneath the extreme shine of the dim sun is an impressive display, and you can't help but wonder how well he would fair under the pressure of a fight with real stakes.
Maybe it was the controlled vehemence of his maneuvers and how skillfully he brandishes his blade, but you think that he would thrive. 
The gladiator is still alive, outlasting all of his fellow prisoners and it's honestly a wonder that he has made it this far. But you don't miss the casual way that Feyd holds himself, the security in the slices he delivers and how easily he dodges and moves around his opponent. Often dipping low into the man's space to nick his flesh with small, annoying cuts before dancing out of his field of reach. He's playing with him. Drawing out the fight like a bored cat toying with a wounded mouse. You can see the hope and determination dying in the gladiator with each passing second; it melts from his limbs, giving way to a venomous, mindless agitation. It makes him sloppy. 
He leaps at Feyd with little thought, desperate to get a decent lick in but the timing is once again ill and his body too open. The mistake does not go ignored and the na-Baron uses the mishap to sweep his opponents legs out from underneath him. And curiously, he casts one of his blades aside, banishing it to the sand. But you don't have to wonder for long before his hand strikes out like a serpent to grip ahold of the fighter's hair, using the leverage he has on the sluggish prisoner's head to harshly force him down and secure him on his knees. You can see the way that the man's face twists into a pained grimace, teeth gnashed together to fight off his agony as he pants raggedly, chest rising and falling with labored breaths. Feyd stands behind him like some sort of figure of death. A creature sent to drag weary, tortured souls to their end. 
You see the gladiators loose grip twitch around the handle of his sword, struggling to build up the last remaining scraps of his energy to swing the blade back and drive into the na-Baron's ribcage. But he doesn't have time to deliver the blow. Feyd raises his own weapon, hitching his arm back to build up tension in his hold. In that exact moment, you are certain that your eyes meet. That somehow, between the distance, his gaze reaches your own, focused in its intent like he is looking for your approval, like he is gifting you a sacrifice in your honor. You hardly have time to think of the implications of it before he drives the sword forward into the back of his victim's neck, severing the man's spinal cord and shoving it forward until the tip of the blade peeks through his throat. It is a horrid display of brutality. The violent sight almost forces a gasp from you, and you can feel your body shudder at the presentation of it. Your mind has long since gone blank, too rattled and shocked to form a coherent thought and the frenzied way the masses arise and breakout into a rapturous applause fills you brain like a haze with the wicked, rhythmic chanting of his name. 
He extracts the blade from the captive's body, spraying a dark splatter of blood across the pale sand with the pull and lifts the gore-soaked weapon up into the air in a silent claim of his victory. 
"Is he everything you had imagined?" 
The Baron's course timbre breaks you from your daze. Your head swivels to him like a doll, but the challenge proposed in his tone rouses your focus to the center. He wants you to be afraid. To shy away from his nephew. Why you aren't sure. Perhaps he simply enjoys the idea of an Atreides cowering, but you will give him no such pleasure. You harden your gaze before you speak next, making sure to project your resolve clearly when you answer. 
"He's perfect." It scares you because it doesn't even feel like a lie. It leaves your tongue too easily, like the compliment belonged there. Like your body and soul held it as a truth that you aren't ready to accept, and you're not sure how to cope with that. But what you say next surprises you even more. 
"I want to meet him." 
A part of you had hoped that the Baron would refuse your request. That he would stick to firm to your father's traditions and prohibit you from seeing the na-Baron until the wedding ceremony. But you know better than to think that he would honor or be controlled by old superstitions.  All too soon you find yourself being led by timid servant who wordlessly guides you deep into the inner depths of the arena. The look that the Baron had spared you before you left had been unsettling and sharp, and it made you wonder if you have agreed to go to your own execution. In your descent, the rabid cries of the masses fade into a distant warble, and with it, the corridors become dim and chilled like the walls of a forgotten crypt. The caution in your gut churns with that treacherous sense of anticipation and you struggle to concentrate past the separation in your emotions. You're not sure if you should be fearful or intrigued and it leaves you caught between a confusing sort of purgatory. 
The little bit of suspense hanging over you reminds you of when you used to dream about meeting him when you were both young. Nearly longed for it even, when you'd lose yourself to childish flights of fancy and daydreamed of love and adoration. It scares you to think that the sense of pining you had once entertained for him may have never truly gone away. Even with the stories of his brutish conquests, a blemish on your naive yearning. A stain of red; soaked with the scent of iron and viscera.
The sight of his violent display down in the arena seemed to confirm all of the horrid rumors that you have heard throughout the years. His indifference towards death, how casually he is able to take a life. It should all disgust you. And to a degree it does. It coats your tongue with something acetous and tart. It makes a shiver threaten to tremble down your spine. But as much as you wish to hide from it, you can't deny that he intrigues you. That the sight of him gazing upon you from the ashen sands of the colosseum like you were an ambiguity that he desired to unravel made your body thrum. You wonder if he would look at you so openly in the same way once you are both on even ground. Or if perhaps, some pathetic, traitorous part of you had simply imagined it. 
The servant stops suddenly before a wide threshold, forcing you to still in your tracks to watch as she steps to the side and bows silently without so much as meeting your eyes. And then she leaves, turning sharply on her feet with the gentle echo of her feet pattering along the obsidian floor while she skitters away. 
You're on your own now. 
You're not sure what you will find when you cross this barrier: pain, misery . . . pleasure. A primordial type of anxiousness wells up inside of you, screaming at you to turn heel and run. You could do so easily. Escape these dismal, tenebrous chambers before he even realizes that you're here. But you're quick to squash that wild impulse. It is a dangerous thing to entertain. You must eliminate that urge all together. You're not an animal. You are an Atreides. A Bene Gesserit. You have survived the Gom Jabbar. You passed the test. And you will survive this. 
With no further hesitation you step forward, focusing on sound of your dress whispering over the floor as a means to center yourself. As soon as you cross the threshold it opens up into a massive space, but the shadows are so thick and vast here that it is difficult to see where the walls truly begin or end. A pair of servant girls stand in the corner, just as rigid and silent as the others that you've seen so far, standing with their backs to the wall like they mean to merge into the shadows and hide. The only light to speak of pours from the ceiling, broadening in its descent to encapsulate the massive round pool that sits in the center of the room like a spotlight. And there, lounging along the far end of the bath with his arms draped along the border, relaxed in the murky, steaming water, is the na-Baron. 
When your eyes meet you have to wonder if this is what prey feels like when locked within the gaze of a wolf; poised to lunge and jaws longing to bite. The way that he had gazed upon you in the arena had been appraising and seeking. Like he was sizing you up and searching for your favor all at once. But something in his stare has shifted since then and dipped into something searing and stifling, and it serves as an obtrusive reminder of who you've willingly confined yourself alone with. But you're unable to stop yourself from admiring him as he does to you. Roving your examination over his face, and you find your attention captivated there. The glow of the florescent lighting reveals a delicate cream undertone in his skin, and the light blush in his lips that had been hidden outside, stunted by the black sun. It breathes a sense of life into him, and nearly separates him from the otherworldly image that had been crafted by the violence he had basked in earlier.
"You must be lost." 
The voice that speaks abruptly is husky and inflected with an accented lilt that blends into the rasp of it. It buzzes over your skin, and you can feel it murmur across your fingertips, but it is not enough to distract you from the confusion that sparks in you from the comment. He must notice the perplexed look that crosses your face because you don't even get time to ask him for clarification before he speaks next. "We're not to see each other. Or was that a lie?" 
If you didn't know any better, you would have thought that he sounds insulted. Like the mere suggestion of you not meeting each other before the wedding had been a great offence. But surely it simply came from a place of ego and not genuine rejection or hurt. That would require affection. And that is an emotion that you're certain the na-Baron is incapable of. Still, regardless of if he truly harbors a sense of fondness for you are not, keeping this relationship as cordial as possible is in your best interest for both of your sakes. 
"It wasn't a lie," you finally answer, clasping your hands together in front of yourself. "But I wanted to congratulate you on your win. . . And to finally see the man that I am intended to marry." The final admittance comes out somewhat reluctantly. But it catches his attention still. You can see the intrigue openly flit through his eyes and he tilts his head while he surveys your from across the room in a curious manner. 
"And what do you think?" 
You are not sure if the question is in reference to himself or his performance in the arena. Either way, your answer still stands. Though you find yourself reluctant to reveal it, even while it burns in your throat. But the way that the na-Baron watches you with a glimmer of restrained vehemence in his heavy stare almost rips the truth from the depths of your chest. But your eyes pointedly flicker back over to the servants in the corner before moving back over to the na-Baron. The question hangs heavy in the air, silently exchanged between the two of you. 
"Leave us," he dismisses firmly, without removing his gaze from you. They nearly spring forward on their feet, vision casted down on the floor as they cross the room and vanish past the threshold like a pair of phantoms. You catch the subtle nod of his head as he watches you, and it is hard to tell if it is done with disinterest or an air of mocking.  "There. You may speak freely now." 
You don't hold in your answer now. "Disappointed," you say firmly, and you're thankful that your voice comes out stronger than you feel. A palpable shift rushes over the room. It is frigid. Moving over the blackened walls like a cold front and seeping into your bones; brought on by the subtle vexation that shifts across his features. You can see the muscles along his shoulders and the plains of his chest ripple underneath his pallid skin, tensing in his ire. It has you stuck in place like the bottoms of your feet have been glued to the floor. It doesn't feel like you're in a room with a man but sharing the space with a hunter that has its teeth and claws poised to slice. But you know that you can't cower. Not with men like him. If you give him and inch, he'll take a mile. And if you are going to make it out of this arrangement alive, you're going to have to try to stand on even ground. "That fight. It was supposed to be in my honor. But it isn't much of a victory if your opponents are impaired with drugs." 
"It was out of my hands," comes his answer. It nearly could have been overtly defensive if he hadn't delivered it so steadily and direct. It's a knee jerk reaction to assume that he is lying. It has been instilled in you since birth to be wary of the Harkonnen and their words. And perhaps it is simply a dangerous form of hope, but the intuition in your gut promises you that he is telling the truth. But even then, it is difficult to find forgiveness. 
"And you fought anyway." 
"Careful." His voice cuts across the atmosphere like a sharp growl. He bares his teeth with the warning, letting you catch a glimpse of that dark snarl and for a moment your mind treacherously imagines what it would be like to feel the sharpness of it grazing along your skin. "I've taken tongues for less." 
The threat does not strike fear in you like it should have. Like you expected it to. The longer you spend in Feyd-Rautha's presence, the more that your initial caution begins to ebb away. For better or for worse, confidence seeps in to take its place. You shock yourself for the second time today by moving towards him instead of backing away like someone with common sense would. Though if you're being honest with yourself, you have always flirted with danger. The temptation towards things that you should not want has always taken you to places not meant for you, and it is a trait that your family and teachers alike had struggled to dissuade. That you yourself have always fought. But you can't resist the urge to close the distance between you and him, following after it blindly like you're being tugged along by an invisible string. 
He trails your approach with that calculated sort of interest, fully invested on your form as you carry yourself up the pair of steps. You continue to move even once you reach the final platform, but your feet do not stop moving. It is like some subconscious part of you is determined to cut as much distance between you and the na-Baron as possible. He doesn't tear his attention from you once. It's fully fixed to you as you saunter around the boarder of the bath like he couldn't bear to look away from you, and it fuels you to keep moving forward, only stopping once you stand beside him. He turns his head to gaze up at you from his position, studying you as he lounges. 
"I'd save that for after the wedding, it may be difficult to say my vows otherwise." You level him with a firm stare as your tone shifts from subtly sardonic to hardened, and possibly even disappointed. " Though I'm glad to know where we stand." 
You see something harden in his gaze. What, you are not sure, but the ferocity of it makes you breathless and something heated stirs in your gut. 
"I mean you no ill will," he assures you, as if he had not just threatened you just a moment before. But the gravelly tone of his voice is distracting. It courses over your skin like an electrical current, humming and warm across your body. "I will bring you the heads of a thousand men if it pleases you." 
It's not the admission itself that shocks you. You know that slaughter comes naturally to the na-Baron. You have witnessed that firsthand. But the sincerity and passion that cradled his words made it sound like a promise. A vow. And you know for certain that he is being purely honest. It floods you with disbelief. The way that he watches you is raw. Vulnerable but not weak or insecure. He said it with the zeal of a devout follower speaking of their faith. Full of hunger, reverence and sincerity. It makes your knees weaken and the oxygen in your lungs is suddenly useless. The devotion burning in the dark hold of his stare is something that you never imagined Feyd-Rutha could be capable of. You know that it is not love. That you are not naive enough to believe. But it is admiration. Consuming and wanting. It is almost frightening how he looks at you. Like you are an oasis, a banquet, and he is a man parched and starved. It only draws you to him even more. Like a moth fluttering closer to an open flame; hoping to be burned in its welcoming, vicious warmth.
"Why?" Your voice comes out weakened. You nearly pant, trying to breath around the fit of your bodice. It has suddenly become too tight, squeezing around your ribcage and sweltering against your skin. 
He does not answer immediately. Instead he rises from the depths of the dark water, shifting to turn his body to yours, causing the water to ripple and gleam underneath the light. You can smell the perfume of the oil on his skin, fresh and warm like amber. A scandalous part of you is tempted to glance downward, even though you know that the height of the dusky liquid still hides the most intimate parts of him, but you are unable to tear your eyes away from his. They look like heavy black chasms, drawing you in and stealing your focus until he is all you can see. You can just vaguely register that he's stepping closer to you. He angles his head as he draws near, and you feel the point of his nose brush over yours through the chilled chains of your veil; the warmth of his body seeps past the barrier of your dress and sinks in deep, settling between the cradle of your hips. 
"You and I; we belong together." He says it like it is a fact. A creed. To him it is. He beholds you like you are something worth worship. And the thought of having such a formidable man observing you as though you were an answer that he has been seeking makes something in you burn. It is scorching. Powerful. It knocks you breathless. "I dream of you." 
The admittance makes you gasp. You briefly wonder how he could possibly have been touched by the sight of visions. Much less ones of you. How he had managed to see you in his sleep just as you had seen glimpses of him. But your marveling is quickly flooded and overruled by images of your own past dreams dancing and flashing in your mind. Pale hands sweeping across your body and leaving white-hot trails in their wake; the sting and glide of teeth and tongue; the musk and salt of sweat in your mouth. It rouses a heady sense of curiosity inside of you. And when he raises a hand and slips it underneath your veil to cup your cheek, sweeping his thumb over the shape of your lips, it makes your interest burn hotter. When you speak next your voice nearly catches in your throat. "What do you see? In your dreams." 
The weight of his stare pulls you in and grips you tightly, heavy with a wild sort of hunger that might eat you alive. When he speaks next, the smoky rumble of his voice courses over you and clouds your head with a low mist. "Let me show you." 
You are not sure when he had slipped the veil from over your face and off of your head, but you hear it fall behind you. Hitting the floor with a sharp, twinkling clatter. But you hardly pay it any mind. Too entranced on the heat of Feyd's palm cupping your face, holding you close while his heavy, heated stare bores into your own and in your haze, you admire that they are truly a shade of blue, just as those old visions promised. A gorgeous splash of color caught in a world of black and white. He shifts closer to you - as much as the low edge of the bath will allow, and with it you feel the sultry impression of his body heat glides over you. The cradle of his hand on your face slips from its place, traveling downward until it reaches your neck. Your heart skips a beat when the hold of his fingers reaches around your throat, and you're sure that he could feel the wild pulse of it fluttering against his palm. A flicker of amusement passes through his gaze, and suddenly it feels like some kind of test. He wants to see if you'll crack and flounder while he holds your life in his grip. But you find that the urge to flee has vanished. It's been wrung from you as though it had never been there, and suddenly you can't understand why you had ever wanted to run in the first place. 
The pressure of his hand tightens like he means to squeeze the air out of you and to block your breath. Fear doesn't rise up to greet you. This isn't a challenge that you have the desire to shrink away from. You want more of it. Of him. You lean into his touch instead, tilting your chin back to bare your throat to him, and you see a ravenous type of delight pass over his expression when you do. The weight fixed around your neck; the heady scent of the rich ointment wafting from his skin dips more of that intoxicated haze over you. 
For a moment you wonder if he might actually rip the oxygen from your lungs and attempt to send you to your death. The tight hold of his hand and the dark look glittering in his eyes imply that he might. But then his hold goes light, and you nearly mourn the loss when he allows his fingers to slip from around your neck. Disgracefully, you almost feel a low whine rising to the tip of your tongue. A desperate plead to have his touch on you again. But like an answer to your silent prayer, his hands unanimously run down your body, roving dangerously close to your breasts, leaving your skin tingling in their wake as they trail down and past your ribs to settle on your hips. 
Time seems to slow when his fingers pluck at the smooth fabric of your skirt, bunching the material up into the cradle of his palms until it starts to slip up and over your legs, gradually revealing more and more of you. He doesn't stop until its rucked up enough to slip his hands underneath your dress, and you silently gasp at the warmth of his palms blossoming over your hips. His fingertips dig into your skin harshly enough that you know it'll be tender tomorrow, but you welcome the sting. 
You can see the silent question glimmer in his eyes. The whisper of his nose gliding over your own and the nearness of his lips beckon that you come closer. He steps back just enough to allow you space, and without further prompting you lift your legs over the lip of the bath. The water is nearly scorching when you slink inside, nearly sweeping up to your waist and encapsulating you like melted wax. His grip on you didn't waver or weaken as you moved. If anything, it grew stronger, like he was worried you might slip away from him, even though the idea of escaping is a faint memory for you now. 
When he tilts his head closer to yours, you think that he finally might kiss you and satiate the restless hunger that's been buzzing between the both of you. You feel the low brush of his breath against you lips when he speaks, and the throaty rasp of his voice curls out in one word: 
"Beg." 
It gives you pause. As soon as you hear it something defiant rises inside of you. But it isn't aggressive or wildly so. It's languid and playful. Testing. Despite the shred of desperation that you had nearly caved into earlier, you have no desire to give in so easily now. You aren't going to roll over so quickly. Not without good reason.
"No," you answer calmy, resisting, even when lust burns in your veins. "Give me a reason to." 
In truth, you aren't sure where the burst of confidence comes from. Your experience with things of this nature - the touch of a man and pleasure, isn't nonexistent. You've indulged in a few nights tangled in the arms of a random temporary lover. Secretive kisses exchanged in dimly lit corridors, the ecstasy of a mouth between your thighs. But the art of it is not something that you have fully grasped onto. Flirtation and conviction in regard to sex doesn't come naturally to you. So you aren't sure why you feel inclined to tease him like you know what you're doing. But you want the challenge. Some twisted, perverted side of you wants to see the glint of the psychotic excitement that he had displayed in the arena. You want his hands on you while his eyes burn with that unrestrained ferocity. It's dangerous to goad him on. To taunt him like you understand him. You're playing a dangerous game. Like prodding at a wild animal in its enclosure, or waving a blazing, red flag in front of a pacing bull. 
A fearful part of you expects for him to get angry. That he might lash out and punish you assuming that you could toy with him so freely. Maybe he'll remind you of your intended place and tell you that you aren't equals. That you mean nothing to him. But he doesn't do any of those things. Instead, he sinks down to his knees, lowering himself until the water rises up to his chest. His eyes don't stray from you once, and the hold on your hips remains firm. The intent and hunger in his eyes nearly make you lightheaded. He watches you in a way that's starved. It has you wondering if you're going to make it out of this alive. But a stronger part of you can't wait to be torn apart. 
His hold on your hips gently nudges at you, guiding you to lower yourself until you're seated on the edge of the bath. You spread your legs without him having to ask, and you can see the hint of an arrogant smile perking at the corners of his mouth when one of his hands sweep down to your knee, prying it open. Anticipation simmers inside of you, searing deep inside of your gut like a hot ember. You feel his fingers sweep along your undergarment, hooking his fingers underneath the fabric to tear the delicate scrap of clothing from your hips as though it was made from paper. It stings against your skin when it snaps free, breaking with a sharp hiss as it rips apart. 
You watch in awe when he lifts the frayed fabric up to his nose to draw in a heavy inhale. Embarrassment prickles at your face when you realize that he's breathing in the arousal that had soaked your underwear. It's vulgar. Filthy. But it has excitement buzzing over you and seeping into your bones. You hardly pay attention when he tosses the tattered fabric somewhere across the room, too transfixed as he leans himself forward between your knees, making a space for himself around the cradle of your thighs, hovering dangerously close to where you need him the most. 
His stare pierces yours, digging a place for himself in your mind and soul, and latching on as he delivers a promise. "I'll make you scream." 
Coming from anyone else it would have made you scoff or roll your eyes and cringe. Despite your inexperience, it's a line that you've heard before only to be met with utter disappointment. But you can feel the determination rolling from him, and you know that it isn't a lie. Still, you're prepared to say something snarky. To try and knock him down a peg or two before he's even started, but you never get the chance. 
His head is between your thighs in an instant, spreading you open with his tongue, hot and sweltering against you. It wrenches a startled cry from your chest, and your hands scramble blindly to support yourself, clinging onto the chilled edge of the bath and the damp warmth of Feyd's shoulder so that you don't tip over. He's only just started, and his enthusiasm already leaves you suspended in disbelief. He works his mouth against you with a ravenous intensity, swiping his tongue over you before dipping it deep inside of you in a way that has liquid pleasure pouring over your body; making your nerves light up like wild, hot sparks. Your hips lift up in a mindless roll, grinding over his mouth to chase after the curl of his tongue, and he follows after the sway of your body, unshaken by your desperation. 
Already you feel like you've been lit on fire. Dipped in a pool of nectar and bliss. It has your legs quivering, tensing and flexing with every suck and stoke from his mouth. It pulls ragged gasps from your heaving lungs, and you just faintly register the airy, punched out breaths lightly echoing off of the walls of the room. You can hear the wet drag of his lips and tongue licking at your cunt, tipping you closer and closer to euphoria. It's filthy. Utterly debauched. The very notion of the daughter of a Duke sleeping with a man before her wedding - fiancé or not - is scandalous, and you should be entirely ashamed that you've even wound up in this position at all. But you can't manage to find a single ounce of humiliation in your body. You're in too deep now. Nothing else matters but this moment. Nothing except for him. 
Your head rolls down on your neck, and you're immediately insnared by the sight of him watching you. Most of his face is hidden by the skirt of your dress bunched around your waist, how your thighs frame his head, but you can see his eyes clearly. A haughty sense of excitement dances in them, clearly pleased with the mess that he's already made of you. You want nothing more than to wipe that arrogant look from his face, but it's almost like he can sense the quip that you're prepared to use, because the wet heat of his mouth licks over you before he closes his lips around your clit and your mind glazes over. He drags the hint of teeth over you, lighting up fire in their wake and then he sucks. Your back bows tight, breasts heaving underneath your dress, and you openly sob. But he offers you no reprieve, no chance to breathe. 
With little warning he slips a finger into the wet entrance of your cunt, forcing your walls to stretch around the width of it as he curls it deep. You've touched yourself before. Used you own fingers to pleasure yourself, and you've only ever felt the hand of one other man before. A random soldier amongst the Atreides ranks, but that had been some time ago. The width of Feyd's is much bigger than your own. Thick and long enough that a single one has you gasping. The stretch of it nearly burns. But it builds a heavy ache between the apex of your thighs, rooting itself so deeply along your spine that it tears another watery cry from you. The motion of your hips turns choppy, losing your rhythm in your desperation to reach the scorching pleasure that looms over you like a wall of fire. He barely gives you time to adjust to the first finger before he's inserting another in alongside it, making the muscles of your abdomen contract and wildly. The walls of your cunt flutter around the thickness of his fingers; your body desperate to fall into the throes of release. 
The fullness of it makes your mouth drop open in a silent scream, forcefully teetering you along the edge of something all-consuming and debilitating. You can taste it searing on your tongue, feel it on your fingertips and all the way down to your toes. Uninhibited moans and broken mewls of his name have begun to spill from your mouth. Punched out of you by the ceaseless drag of his tongue and weight of his finger inside of you, crooking along your walls with nasty, wet squelches to shove you closer and closer to that shattering precipice. It forces out a gutted cry that nearly stings on its way out, and you can feel Feyd's pleased laughter reverberate over your flesh in response, and the low tremors only inject more rapture into your veins.  It's so close. Welling and foaming up like boiling water; a rising tide that threatens to sweep you and drown you. 
All at once it stops. 
You cry out like you've been wounded when he tears his mouth from you and removes his fingers from your cunt, leaving you empty and aching. You don't even try to hide your betrayed scowl as you glare down at his face, which looks entirely too delighted for your liking. Your lungs struggle around a ragged gasp, making your voice catch in your throat. "Wha- why you did sto-" 
The question hardly has time to leave you before he turns his head and sinks his teeth into the plush skin of your inner thigh. It sears across your nerves, molten and white-hot, ripping a pained yelp from your chest. The smile on his face is pleased, stretched wide into that dark, impish grin. Your attention is stuck on him as he drops his jaw open, holding your scolding glower as he slips his tongue out to glide it along the sore bite mark that he left with his teeth. The wet warmth of his tongue laving over your skin, soothing the sting that he had made has your brain splitting between pain and pleasure, merging the two sensations into a muddled, delicious blur. 
"Feyd." You meant for it to come out reprimanding and harsh, but instead it sounds thin and panting. You see the satisfaction spark in his eyes at the weakened tone of it, and seeking more out like a glutton, he reaches his hand forward to roll one of his knuckles over your clit. It's pure torture how he's keeping you hung along the edge of bliss. You're still sensitive from your ruined orgasm and the simple graze from the back of his hand has you doubling over like you've been struck in the gut. He tilts his head back to nuzzle his face against your own when you lean in close enough. An action that's deceptively sweet for someone so violent. It has something that feels a lot like affection bubbling up inside of your chest; dulcet and soft. You tear it away and burrow it deep before it can grow. 
Guided by instinct, in a scramble to replace that unwelcome hint of tenderness, you tilt your head to join your lips to his. You can taste yourself on him, earthy and mildly sweet, and just the thought of you marking him with something so intimate - so filthy, makes you weak. He's quick to respond, meeting you eagerly with tongue and teeth. It's nearly bruising. Just as harsh and impassioned as the way that he fights, and it has you moaning into his mouth. But it isn't enough. Your hands turn greedy, sweeping over his shoulders and up the back of his neck, and in retaliation for teasing and his earlier bite, you sink your nails into the skin there, meanly dragging them until your reach his clavicle bone. But he doesn't hiss or wince in pain. The groan that spills against your lips is one of pleasure. The sound has your body thrumming and winding up tight, and paired with the steady circles he draws on your clit it has you dangerously close to tipping headfirst into the throes of melted bliss. But his touch is too light, the rhythm too slow to fully guide you into it. It leaves stuck on the edge of a torturous limbo, and you nearly whimper against his mouth. 
You break the kiss in an effort to regain a sense of clarity, but he's quick to chase after you, nipping at your lips and alleviating the sting with the point of his tongue. "Feyd," you repeat, and this time it sounds horribly close to begging. You can feel your resolve cracking. Splintering down the center and melting with every glide of his finger against your clit. 
"I already told you, Atreides," he murmurs it like a taunt and promise all at once. "All you need is ask." 
He makes it sound so simple. So temptingly easy, but you try to cling onto your pride with a shaking grip. You know that he can see the conflict openly reflected in your eyes. The urge to fight. He moves his face from yours just enough to tilt his head as he evaluates you. It feels so condescending and the low, patronizing way that he tuts at you has a small whisper of determination peeking through the cloud of lust that fogs your mind. But he presses his knuckle against your clit in a mean drag, making your body clench and twitch like it had been stung with a live wire, and with it all cohesive thought blanks out. 
"Why are you fighting?" He asks, leaning his head to run his teeth along your ear, and then the wet blaze of his tongue trails up your throat to lick the salt from your skin. "It could be like a dream." 
It's such a simple sentence, but it reminds you have of how you've gotten here in the first place. The promise of pleasure, the feel of skin under your teeth, the rough grip of his hands on you. In truth, you aren't sure what you're resisting for. What game you're trying to play and win. You're just torturing yourself at this point. Holding yourself back from what you truly want needlessly. It's because of pride. The trait to endure, to remain resolute underneath the call of a challenge or opposition has been instilled in you. You've been taught to be unyielding, to hold yourself back from temptation. Especially when facing an adversary. You cannot show weakness lest you bring humiliation to your house. But you're quickly learning that you don't have much shame anymore. Being in Feyd's presence seems to drain every ounce of it from your body, shifting you into something debased and wanting. And you want him. 
"Please, Feyd, I need you touch me," you beg, panting against his lips. "I need you to fuck me. I need - " 
You aren't certain who moves first. If it's you who slips down from the edge of the bath or if he's the one that takes ahold of you by the hips and tugs you onto his lap. The murky water splashes and ripples from the disturbance, bathing over the lower half of your body in a warm rush as you meet in a desperate sweep of grabbing hands, and the passionate exchange of lips and the harsh graze of teeth. You follow after him as he shifts so he's leaning against the boarder of the bath, allowing you both to focus on the press of your bodies grinding against each other without the worry of falling into the water. His hips roll upward, tearing a surprised gasp from you when you feel the hard weight of his cock nudge between the apex of your thighs, brushing over your clit in a slow drag. 
The feel of it is jarring almost. Dousing a small chill across your body with the reminder that you're beginning to reach the point of uncharted territory. You've never gotten this close with anyone else before. Had never entertained the idea or even desired it. Your explorations of the male body had never gone past you taking them into your mouth or vice versa. This is completely out of your depth and all of the efforts that you had taken in preparation had done little to soothe your nerves. You had spoken to your chambermaids and Lady Jessica alike about sex before, the art of love making and what you should brace for, and they had all warned you of pain. A deep tearing pain and the blood that comes with it. It had given you hardly any inclination to anticipate losing your virtue. 
But even with worry tensing your gut the fervent, burning desire that's consumed you hasn't released you from its snare. Still, Feyd seems to have noticed the rigidity in your body, the way your muscles have coiled in your internal distress. He tips his head back to part his lips from yours so that your eyes can meet, and you can see amusement glittering in the darkness of them like your nervousness is humorous somehow. 
"You have nothing to fear. I'll be gentle, just this once." The reassurance (or threat, you aren't quite sure) skirts over you, rough and enticing within the gravel of his voice. One of the hands that he has on your hips softly grips around your wrist, and you're left to watch curiously as he guides it down into the inky water. You gasp when he slips your palm around the weight of his cock. He's rigid and smooth in your hold, and when you inquisitively stroke your hand up the length of him, it's a little intimidating to discover the substantial girth of him. You swallow nervously around the saliva that pools in your throat. It's difficult to focus around. It's like your own body is confused, thrumming with an electrical sort of anticipation, and the clutch of anxiety that stubbornly burrows deep underneath the influence of your lust. 
But there's something about the arrogant glint in Feyd's expression that makes you bristle. It gives you a touch of confidence; small, hardly there at all, but it's enough. You grip him before your determination can falter, holding him steady as you line him up to the soaked entrance of your cunt. It takes you a moment to notch him against you - a combination of your nerves and lack of practice. But when you finally do, you have to draw in a deep breath to center yourself. He's thick and warm against you and it's such a foreign sensation. A side of you still hasn't caught up with the fact that you're well and truly here, tangled up in such a scandalous position with the na-Baron - your enemy. Your rival. But it's even more shocking with how little the fact is beginning to bother you. It should frighten you. It should sicken and repulse you. But you find that it doesn't in the slightest. You only feel the damning lick of desire, the urge to chase after your pleasure and to feel the na-Baron come undone underneath you. 
With a deep inhale you begin to sink yourself down on him before your nerves can get ahold of you. The stretch stings from the head of his cock working inside, the muscles between the junction of your hips straining from the effort. It's already intense, splitting you open with a fullness that you have yet to feel before even though he isn't even halfway in. Every shred of oxygen has been punched out from your lungs, and your mouth drops open in a silent gasp as you continue to slip yourself down onto him, forcing your body to accommodate to the width of his girth. Liquid, molten honey drips down the length of your spine, blurring with the raw sting rooted deep inside of you, nearly making you double over from the intensity of it. 
"Easy," Feyd hums suddenly, reaching up to cup the side of your face. When he swipes his thumb underneath your eye, you just vaguely register the dampness there. Tears. You hadn't even realized that you had begun to cry from the overwhelming nature of it all, and even though it's expected, it's a little irritating to see how unbothered he appears to be while you feel as though you're coming undone at the seams. But the warmth of his hand against your cheek pulls you from the searing, electrical pressure of your muscles giving around his length, a beacon in a storm. It's another oddly, sweet gesture from the someone so brutal, and combined with the soothing weight of his hand on your waist, it has another bout of that horrendous affection rising up inside of you. Even when he lifts his tearstained thumb to his lips to lick the damp salt from his finger. 
It's all too overwhelming. The sensation of his body on yours, his eyes on you, the push of his cock filling you up. It has more desire building up inside of you and it guides you to sink even more of yourself down on him, eager to take every inch. You feel it when the crown pushes past the tight ring of your cunt. The abrupt pop sends heavy tremors across your body, making your spine bow forward like a melted candlestick. It's like every bit of your energy has been sapped from you by a single motion and you have no choice but to let your head prop against his shoulder as you collect yourself with a trembling sigh. But you don't bother giving yourself any reprieve, discarding his earlier advice and bearing your hips down to force more of him deep inside, and your jaws drops open in a silent, punchout scream when your walls stretch to accommodate him.
Your mind has all but melted underneath the intensity of it, shifting to a blank with each inch that you take. By the time that the back of your thighs meets the support of his lap you feel like pure, useless mush. Reduced to pliant mess by the sudden fullness that's been stuffed into your cunt. You swear that you can feel him in your throat, shoving your lungs tight against the walls of your ribcage, keeping you breathless. 
"I told you to go easy." The rumble of his voice breaks out, bleeding past the clouded over haze in your mind in a deep rasp. It's difficult to discern if he's mocking you or chiding you, but knowing what you've learned of him already, it's safe to assume that it's probably both. 
You distantly feel you shake your head against his shoulder, more of that defiance rearing up. "I don't want to go easy," you counter. It takes you a moment to build up the strength and coherence to pull yourself back, tilting your chin up to assess him. His eyes are like burning pits, a yawning void that wants to eat you alive. But you don't have it in yourself to shy away from it. Instead you lean forward, slipping your hands around to grip the back of his neck, supporting yourself has you brush your nose along his. The press of his body underneath you is unflinching, his expression relaxed, but you are certain that you feel something in him waver. The hint of a vulnerability. A fleeting glimpse of it. But that's all you need. It's more than enough to tell you that if you want to, you can just as easily have him wrapped around your finger.  
You angle your head closer, pressing soft kisses along the plush of his lips and the sharp cut of his jaw. "Please," you beg softly. 
His mouth is on yours in an instant, hot and hungry, pulling you into another frenzied kiss, licking into your mouth to taste you. Just the glide of his lips against yours is enough to have that heated coil in your stomach already winding up tight. You feel like you're drowning. Caught up in a torrent of heat and bliss. It has your hips rising up mindlessly, instinctively working yourself on the length of his cock in a desperate need to chase after your pleasure. Stinging aftershocks trickle across your muscles with each short drag, but it only serves to make your nerves hum; aching so wonderfully deep that your eyes nearly roll back. 
His lips leave yours to trail along to corners of your mouth, sweeping down your jaw to nip and bite along the delicate skin of your throat, intent to leave his mark on you. It distracts you. Pulling your focus onto the sharp cut of his teeth on your neck, that it completely catches you off guard when he secures an arm around your waist, pinning you close to his body before he thrusts his hips up into yours like he's determined to carve his place between your them. The pace that he sets is grueling. A merciless rhythm that strikes the air out of your lungs with each pronounced roll. He fills you in a way that hurts, stretching you open with every plunge of his cock. But it's an exquisite type of pain. It feels like it's tearing you apart just to piece you back together again. 
You struggle to meet his pace. Your movements aren't as coordinated; choppy, and he doesn't wait for you to catch up and figure out the greedy movement and rhythm he's set. The sway of the water around your bodies seem to stifle and aid the motion of your hips simultaneously, dragging them down and lifting them all at once. You're practically useless above him, forced to sit and take it. But he doesn't seem annoyed or undeterred in the slightest with the way that he pounds himself into you. It has your brain going fuzzy, glazing over with the impression of his veins gliding along the walls of your cunt. His chest rubs against your breasts, shifting the smooth material of your dress over your nipples, and the added friction makes your back pull taut. 
The heat of his mouth closes over the vulnerable stretch of your throat and you can feel the tip of his tongue glide over your pulse like he's tempted to sink his teeth in deep to drink the flow of your blood. Your cunt clenches down on his girth at the thought, and you're rewarded with a low, guttural groan that reverberates across his chest from the inside out. It makes you eager to hear more from him. To make him just as broken and debauched as you are. 
You can hardly recognize yourself anymore. The way that he's practically turned you into an animal; wanton and gluttonous. You can hear the sound of your own voice, unrestrained and loud as it cries out in pleasured moans and whimpers. You don't think you've ever heard yourself this way. So uninhibited and sinful. None of your past lovers, as satisfactory as they had been, had ever been able to pull reactions like this from you. It nearly makes you feel like a stranger in your own body. Unfamiliar with your skin. But it's irresistibly good, unprincipled and shameless. But it feels like pure release, untethered by expectations or rules. And like a starved thing, you want more. You want more of him. To hear him, to feel more of him, to taste him on your tongue. 
In a wild craving to hear the throaty sound of his pleasured breaths, you slip your throat away from his mouth, ignoring the disgruntled snarl that stretches across his lips to grip the nape of his neck. You lean forward before he can question you and press your teeth into the smooth flesh that stretches over the junction of his shoulder, careful not to break skin but enough to cause the sting of pain. It's like a prize when a deep groan rips out from his chest, but the sharp, bruising thrust that follows closely behind nearly dislodges your teeth from him. He must have noticed the grip of your jaw waver because he slips a hand up to cradle the back of your skull, securing you in place. 
"More," he demands in a thick rasp. 
The sound of the request has liquid fire dousing over you, and you don't have the strength or desire to resist. You sink your teeth down even more until it threatens to split skin underneath the weight of your bite, stopping short before you could do any actual damage. But the irritated, almost forlorn sigh that greets your ears catches your attention. His fingers flex around the back of your head like he wants to shove you closer. But surely he doesn't want that. Your teeth will tear right through him if you apply any more pressure. 
"Harder." The insistent order comes out like pure gravel, and matched with another wild thrust, it has your teeth clamping down on his shoulder. The muscles in your jaw squeeze tight until flesh breaks and something iron and strangely bitter spills across your tongue and threatens to pour down your throat. The noise that leaves him is gutted and wanton. Your body clenches around him as soon as you hear the ragged panting that trickles from his lips, setting you alight with even more ardency, and the sting of your bite searing across his nerves somehow manages to fuel him with even more vigor. He rams his cock into you with heavy strokes that are debilitating. You nearly feel like a doll, nothing more than a being for his pleasure, if not for the reverent way that his hands begin to glide along your body. Clutching you to him like might slip away. 
It pulls you close to him, and the position has his pelvis grinding against your clit with every roll of his hips. Unable to hold in the string of moans and whimpers that beg to slip from your chest, you have to slip your teeth from his skin to pant and cry against his shoulder. It's like the sun is eating at your body. Warmth, and heat, and rapture scorching you from the inside, threatening to burn and tear you apart. You can taste it, warm and sweet on the tip of your tongue, mixing with the dark tart of his blood into an intoxicating flavor. It makes you lose all sense of yourself with your mind slipping under a blank mist. Your body is so distant from you now and the only thing that keeps you connected to it is the pleasure and ecstasy soaking your limbs and filling your lungs; the thickness of him stretching you open and stuffing you full.  
"Feyd," you gasp like a warning and a plea, blindly clawing at his arms and shoulders to keep you tethered down and present. But each relentless thrust just hurtles you closer to that yawning precipice. The head of his cock brushes against something deep and devastating inside of you and that's all it takes for you to split apart with a ragged scream. You hardly have time to brace for it when it finally reaches you. Bursts of white and piercing stars explode behind your eyes like a kaleidoscope; fire and electricity seize you tight, forcing every muscle in your body to wind up tight like you've been shocked. All of the air has been snatched from your lungs making your feel as though you've blacked out; lightheaded and sluggish. 
You can hear Feyd grunting in your ear, but his pacing has turned messy, losing the pronounced, steady rhythm he once had in his desperation to reach his own end. Thrusting into you in a manner that's almost wild. Both of his hands find your waist and his fingertips dig in deep enough to tear a weak cry from you. With a long, guttural moan he reaches his climax, burying himself deep into your cunt as he fills you with a flood of pulsing warmth before sagging back against the boarder of the tub. 
You aren't sure how long you stay like that for, suspended in a space tucked between your body and thrumming, pulsing heat. When your breath comes back to you, it's labored and deep, drawing in the scent of perfumed oils and the heady salt of sweat. You've gone limp, limbs lax and useless as your full weight drapes across the firm press of Feyd's body underneath you. It's soothing to have him close, even though it shouldn't be. There should be fear in your chest. Self-disgust and betrayal should hang over you like a cloud, but there's nothing except for satisfaction and peace. Maybe it will leave you once the influence of pheromones and the high of sex dissipate, and reality will come hurtling down on you with the conviction of a calamity. But as of now, you have no desire to entertain any of those anxieties. You nuzzle closer to Feyd, tucking your face into the crook of his neck with the ease of someone who's done it a thousand times, even while a faint part of you worries that he'll shove you away. That he might push you from him and rise from the bath to leave you abandoned in water turned tepid and soiled to remind you of your true place here. But he doesn't. He lets you settle over him, idly running his fingertips up the divot of your spine from over the cover of your soaked dress. 
You feel the thrum voice of his vibrate across his chest before you hear it, and a part of you expects some sort of scathing remark.
"Did I still disappoint?" 
Your eyebrows furrow at the question as your slow-moving brain struggles to follow the question, and the near flat quality of his voice doesn't assist you any. But when your finally grasp onto the realization, you can't fight off a light smile that perks at your lips from the notion that he might be teasing you. The affection is back with a vengeance. Blossoming in your chest, saccharine and warm. But now you don't have the strength to try and shove it away or to distract yourself. 
"Hmmm," you hum lowly, feigning consideration as you draw in a deep sigh. "I suppose you've redeemed yourself." 
The scent of something strongly metallic fills your nose, settling deep and pulling you from the gentle fuzz that's stuffed your skull. It draws you to pull yourself from the cradle of his chest to evaluate him. Your eyes are quick to scan his pallid skin and you immediately notice the rivulets of black that pour down his shoulder, streaming from the angry bitemark that has been cut into his flesh. Guilt spreads through you at the sight even though he had commanded - begged, really, for you to do it. You're sure that his blood is still smeared across your lips in a dark stain. More proof of the pain you had eagerly inflicted on him. 
"I'm sorry," you apologize softly. You reach down to cup some of the murky water into the divot of your palm, it has healing properties you remember reading, and lift it up to gently pour it over the wound. Even though it must sting, he doesn't so much as flinch underneath the feel of the medicinal liquid flowing over the gash. 
"Don't be," he assures. He glides the pad of one of his thumbs across your bottom lip, and you distantly gather that he's collecting the glaze of his blood there. His eyes follow the motion like he's entranced, and the intensity behind it could have sparked another bout of lust in you if you weren't already so spent. He lifts his black-stained fingers between you both, rubbing his fingertips together as he watches the smear of blood glitter underneath the cast of the pale lighting. "I'll wear it with pride." 
There it is again. More of that odd, unwavering devotion. Perhaps you should be suspicious of it. It could be some sort of ploy to lull you into a false sense of security, but instinct tells you that he's being purely honest. And that might be even more frightening. If he's already so committed and consumed by lust and entitlement now, then there's truly no idea what could happen if his admiration were to evolve into something deeper. Darker. Less restrained. Horrendously, the prospect of it intrigues you. You can't help but wonder what it would be like to bask under the attention of Feyd-Rautha's obsession. An even sicker side of you might hope for it too. 
You snap that thought shut and bury it deep before it can flourish. You concentrate your mind on your surroundings instead, like the dark water lapping along the edge of the bath, soaking the expensive fabrics of your dress, now damaged and defiled, and the musk of sex and fragrant oils hanging heavy in the air; the press of his flaccid cock still stuffed inside of you. But the weight of Feyd's stare cuts through all of it, gravitating your own to raise to him in turn. You can see the pale hint of blue reflecting in them, just as gorgeous as the expanse of a wild ocean. It draws you closer to him and he angles his head to join his lips to yours. For the first time this night this kiss is something soft and gentle. It feels like reverence when the plush of his mouth parts against yours. Drawing in the taste of you on the tip of his tongue, exchanging a mix or your arousal and his blood with the glide of your lips. It's a kiss that pulls you down into his orbit. It makes everything fade it an unclear background until the only thing that matters is the warmth of him underneath your hands; the pulse of his heartbeat thrumming steadily within his chest. With another delicate nip of his teeth and the sweep of his hands around you, temptation rings throughout your bones and begs you to fall into him. 
And without any resistance, you do. 
2K notes · View notes
kenjakusbraincum · 1 year ago
Note
can you pls write something about reader being sick and like not the cough and cold kind of sick- like really really sick, and sukuna realising how much he doesn't want to lose her to this sickness and how if she dies, he'll be alone again..🥺
You have NO idea how much I love this idea!!! I did go a bit overboard with it cause I love suffering though 👍 Still, this was SO much fun to write and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Vows
Sukuna x Reader
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Word count: 4.5k
Tags/warnings: gn! reader, true form! sukuna, master/pet dynamic, fluff but most importantly ANGST, mentions of weight loss, mentions of violence, implied nsfw, reader dies in the end :( (sorry)
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It's not the first time Sukuna has been made aware of your mortality. He recalls many instances when he's been reminded that you are human. Finite. The first time he wrapped his hand around your throat and squeezed with calculation while you were laying under him, and you looked up at him in fear for your life. Your little hand couldn't even wrap around his wrist, much less provide resistance. Or when he'd pull your hair a little too roughly, and hear a crack in your delicate spine. When you'd get sick, and humbly refuse his healing. So little as a tummy ache had you writhing on your bed.
You are so weak, so small, clinging to life like there was anything for you in it, beyond Sukuna. By all means he hates all of these things. So what witchery is this, and why does he care about you so much? Why does he keep you for years, and why does your company bring him comfort he hasn't ever known in his lifetime?
Still, as much as he cares, he doesn't notice when it starts. He's trained you to tolerate pain, after all. It's no wonder you hesitate to tell him. Little things like tummyaches and colds occur to you all the time anyways, and you never complain. Sure, you've grown closer to Sukuna, but he was still your master, and the rules he instilled in you from the start were always fresh in your mind, not to be crossed. Bothering him with everything that feels off always seemed inappropriate.
And Sukuna is just like that. If you're not screaming or crying, he won't know you're in pain. But he notices that you're acting off. And how he reacts really doesn't help your case, or encourage you to speak up about your condition. ''I don't have all day. What is wrong with you?'', he sneers when he catches you pacing too far behind him.
So you just sleep longer and preserve energy for when you are with him. You don't skip around as much anymore, or spend time doing your hobbies. Food doesn't taste so great anymore. You have a cough that gives you sleepless nights because it just won't calm down. And the time you owe Sukuna starts to feel like an obligation. You start to dread it. Dread slipping up, dread annoying him or failing to satisfy him. Dread being disposable.
When things start getting worse, it's hard to hide it even from him. He was taking you from behind one night, and you were grateful he couldn't see the look on your face. You thought you could do it. Sukuna was always demanding, but he would never force you to do anything. If only you told him before you felt yourself struggling for air, and your chest closing in on itself in tightness. You reached one hand back, frantically grabbing his wrist.
''Feathers, feathers!'', words came out as gasps, and you slumped forward when he let you go. You were panicked and crying by then, this kind of discomfort being foreign even to you, even after weeks of pain behind you. He hovered next to you with a puzzled look on his face. He wasn't even being that rough.
''What's wrong? Tell me.'', he said, and reached his hand to feel the warmth of your tears streaming down your face. He swiped your cheek gently. He didn't seem mad at all. Why didn't you say anything from the start?
''I just feel so sick.'', you muster up in between sobs, and shut your eyes. You were too embarrassed to even look at him.
''I see.''. His hand leaves your face, and he traces it from your neck down your spine. The pain subsided slowly, allowing you to relax and find comfort in his arms.
But the effects of his healing were short lived. Just a week later the feeling of fatigue creeps back into your life. Manageable, but lingering. And the cough persists. And it gets on Sukuna's nerves too. He's been quite patient with you, but his patience was reaching it's limit.
You're sitting by his throne as you often do, and as hard as you try to hold the cough in, you just can't help it. His hand finds the back of your neck and squeezes, turning you to him. And he looks at you with all four, terrifying eyes. ''Can you shut up?''
''I'm sorry, I'm trying -'', you stutter, but just end up coughing more. He doesn't wait for you to stop.
''Get out of here.'', and pushes you away. You stumble down the pile of bones and fall, landing on your hands and knees. You don't remember him being this cruel to you in a long time. You look back at him with teary eyes, and he looks back like the merciless monster he is. The villagers awaiting him moved to make space for your fall, taking note of the tense situation.
That day, Sukuna sends word that he doesn't want to see you until you get better. You're forbidden from going outside again, in fear that that is making your 'cold' worse. It's a lonely week in your room, until Sukuna starts to crave you again. It didn't take him a while, counting the couple days he spent convincing himself he doesn't miss you. He does. So when he sends word for you again, and the servants come back to him saying you're still not feeling well... he's worried. So worried he comes to see it for himself.
Sukuna rarely comes to your room. It's the only space you have for yourself, and he doesn't want to take that away from you. Your room is modest. You have a bed, a carpet, and a couple shelves to house the books he's gifted you. There's a desk where you can eat and read, and a doorway to the garden. There's an empty glass of water and a napkin next to your bed. You're still sleeping, but the door shutting behind him wakes you up, so he doesn't get to enjoy observing you in your natural habitat for long.
It's not the first time doors opening and closing woke you up. But you know this time is different. The servants are always quickly shuffling around the room, cleaning up and moving around. Uraume clanks with plates. There is no noise now, other than your strained breathing and a cough brewing in the back of your throat. Besides, the aura that Sukuna brings with him everywhere he goes is recognizable. Especially to you. Heavy.
You turn around, and meet the gaze of his four eyes. ''Master...'', you struggle to sit up, and even a little action like that has spots forming in your vision. Then a coughing fit hits you. You pick up the napkin and put it to your mouth.
Sukuna sees your whole body strain with the effort of coughing. And when you call him master, even your voice sounds different. He knows your morning voice. He missed hearing it, but this... this is not it. You sit with your head hung low, staring at the napkin between your hands. There's a fresh splatter of blood on it. But Sukuna scares you more than the progression of your illness.
''Are you mad at me?'', you ask timidly, meeting his gaze.
''I'm concerned.", he says and sits next to you. You curl up to make space for him. "Two weeks is a long time for a frail human like you to be sick.", he looks at you, scanning your form up and down.
"I rested and drank every tea Uraume told me to!", your defense mechanism kicks in, and you start babbling.
Sukuna dismisses you with a hand and a pained facial expression. "I know.", he says. His brows are furrowed now, and he's looking at the ground, lost in thought.
You feel guilty for annoying him again. You feel guilty for the whole thing, getting sick, draining the energy it takes him to heal you, robbing him of the time with you that he deserves. Owns. He is very generous with the way he treats you, having all that in mind.
You tug on his sleeve. "I'm sorry, Master... You deserve better.", and you're sobbing again. Sukuna gives you a pathetic look, but smiles as he pulls you into his embrace.
"Silly pet. I can survive a couple weeks without your assistance.", he says, rubbing your shoulder.
You run your fingers against the back of his hand mindlessly, not knowing how to respond. Caressing his knuckles, bones, veins... feeling his nails and their sharp tips against your sensitive skin. When you bring his palm up to your lips, your kiss stains it red with blood.
-
You still sleep with Sukuna sometimes. Less frequently, only on days when you feel well enough, and those are rare. You've lost weight by now, sickness making itself visible on your body. You're sitting on his lap and clinging to your robes, scared that he won't like you as much, that you won't live up to his standards. But Sukuna's demeanor about your illness has changed, as he seemed to sense something unusual about it. He flips you over so gently, like you're made of glass, and peppers kisses from your neck downwards, slowly undressing you as much as you allow him. When he takes you, he's so careful. Constantly checking you're comfortable and enjoying yourself. You feel so loved and relaxed, and pleasure comes so easy when you're in this state. It's not the first time Sukuna is this caring with you in bed, but this time is different. This time you can't help but feel like he's saying goodbye.
He holds you afterwards, tracing his fingers over the ridges of your spine and your shoulders. You were always little in his grasp, but now that he feels your protruding bones under his fingertips, you seem all the more vulnerable.
"Will you kill me?", you ask, breaking the silence.
Sukuna frowns. "Nonsense. Why would I do that?"
There's a gulp in your throat. "It won't be long before I can't even do this. I won't be of any use to you then...", you say.
"Stop.", he says sternly. "There's a lot more to you than what you provide me with in bed."
You smile to yourself, but there's still a hole in your chest. Your statement is still true, and you aren't comforted. But this is Sukuna, and you know that he's offered you quite a lot even with that little bit of reassurance. To your surprise, he speaks again.
"Don't upset yourself. It's been a long time since killing you crossed my mind.", he says. "Save the energy for something else."
You nod and thank him. Just moments later, you're asleep. Quicker than ever before, he notes. You usually love it when he lets you cuddle and talk to him. You would force your eyes open when you were sleepy, just to enjoy it longer.
He feels guilty. He's your master, he's responsible for your well being. Yet nothing he does seems to help you long term. Healing you is temporary and he knows that without accessing the source, it will never work. If he could, he would find what was making you sick and rip it out of you with his bare hands, crush it with the force of his palm. He would have to look deeper, open you, and for once, he thinks he can't open a human being. He thinks of you trashing, screaming, and worst of all, looking into his eyes. Just the thought of you like that makes his chest feel like a gaping cavity. Worst of all, he's sure you would let him. He's sure you would forgive him for spilling your blood, and find comfort in his arms again. If you survived, that is. What has he done to you? And to himself?
Now, your head rests on his chest, and you're snoring lightly. For once, a repetitive noise like that doesn't annoy him. For once, he wishes he could listen to it every night. One day, that noise will be the only thing audibly confirming you're still alive.
-
Months pass and you're only getting worse. You barely leave your room now, too weak to even do so. You eat little, and it's showing in your sunken cheeks and eyes. You feel yourself withering away, loosing color, drying like a dying flower. Sukuna is in grief. He struggles to look at you, and visiting you falls heavy on him every time. He always finds himself thinking afterwards. Regretting that he let himself get this attached, wishing that he could simply forget you. But it doesn't work that way.
He goes to see you, after avoiding you for a week. He's Sukuna, he doesn't have any shame. You're sleeping, like you usually are when he comes to visit you. Your snoring is laboured, and it sounds painful. This time, the doors and the silence don't wake you up. He watches you, curled up under a stack of blankets, rising and falling with your struggles to breathe. How foolish he was, to think forgetting you would be as easy as avoiding you for days. How evil he was, trying to forget you while you are still alive under his wing, still his responsibility. Still his.
He sits next to you and leans over you, fingertips ghosting over your face. The snoring stops and you flutter your eyes open, turning in bed and feeling his body next to yours. You smirk at him, eyes adjusting to the light, and smile when you recognize him. ''Master.'', your arms wrap around his neck as you welcome him, your voice dry, but lively as you beckon him closer. ''I missed you.''.
He comes down to plant a kiss to your forehead. ''I missed you too, darling.''. Oh, the things that escape his mouth when he's alone with you. He cups your face, enjoying how much healthier you look with a smile on your face. ''Feeling any better?'', he rubs your cheek, lingering closely above your face.
You nod, but both of you know you only feel better because you saw him. Still, the little surge of happiness that brings you gives you more energy than you've had the whole week. You wiggle to the edge of the bed, making space and inviting him to join you. Sukuna lies down, hooking one arm underneath your neck and pulling you flush against him.
You wrap your arm around him and lean your head against his shoulder. He's still as big as you remember him, unfaltering in the face of your illness. It's comforting. ''You didn't visit in a while. Were you busy?'', you ask, stroking his back. ''How were your days?''
''Monotone.'', he says. ''The villagers bring remedies for you every day, and wish for you to get well.'' It's no wonder. So many times, Sukuna found himself hesitating to kill just because you were sitting on his knee, dressed in something too pretty to be splattered with blood. In the local villages, word spread that you have ''domesticated'' Sukuna. As if such a thing was possible. Or was it?
''Oh?'', you smile. ''I didn't think they would notice my absence.''. You always were supposed to be Sukuna's accessory and nothing more. Remedies and good wishes make it sound like you're more important than just a pet. So it really is that obvious...
''They did.'', he says, and lowers his head, brushing his nose against your face. ''Some took that as an opportunity to gift me new pets.''
You blink at him, a bit taken aback by his honesty. You keep smiling anyways. ''Did you take any?'', you ask, and he sees nothing but genuine curiosity in your eyes. The truth is, you've had a lot of time to think about your place in Sukuna's mansion. You knew, especially in sickness, that you were never entitled to exclusivity with him. You knew that at some point you would have to be replaced, just by the virtue of being a mortal. A human, who would age and become ugly, wrinkled and useless. You were just unlucky enough to meet this fate sooner than you should've.
Sukuna sighs, the weight of the conversation shifting to him. ''Not to bed, no.'', he says.
You're quiet while you think of what to say. You still have a habit of picking words when you're with Sukuna, but the times when he would punish you for improper formulation are far behind you. "Why not?", you settle. You hope the implication is there, that you wouldn't be so mad even if he did.
Why not? Because he thinks it might break him. Because the image of someone else in your place, under him, feels unnatural and wrong. He thinks the guilt might eat him alive. For once in centuries, someone else's needs come before Sukuna's. He is gone, so far gone. You've raised his standards, and he's not sure anyone he takes now will be able to live up to them. Besides, training a new pet to fit your mold would take years, and even then... He couldn't train someone to love him. Not like you do.
''I wouldn't want you to hold back because of me.'', you say, and he realizes he's been quiet for too long. Years ago, if you dared to imply that Sukuna would do such a thing as hold back because of you, that he cared, you would've been minced meat ready for dinner. Now, he looks down at you tenderly when you say it. Well, a tender look from Sukuna is a docile one. You've gotten used to the way that Sukuna communicates love. Subtly, innocuously.
''Worry about getting well, pet.'', he shuts down the conversation, and moves away from you, sitting back on the bed. ''Any wishes? Food? Activities?'', he asks, and feels your forehead with the back of his hand.
Food? No, but... ''I'd like you to stay, please.'', you say, and take his hand with the two of yours, feeling it up with your thumbs.
Sukuna resists the urge to roll his eyes, knowing the thought of annoying him would upset you greatly. ''That's a given. Anything else?''
You pretend to think, then just babble your favorite food. Sukuna takes your order to Uraume. But when he comes back, you're already asleep again. He waits by your side, but you don't wake, so eventually he leaves. By the evening, the plate of your favorite food remains untouched.
-
You can't leave the bed on your own anymore. Sukuna carries you outside when you're feeling good enough. You barely have the strength to latch onto him securely. Still, it's hard to slip out of the grasp of his four arms. He says you've gotten pale. You lay in his lap and bask in the sun, while he tells you about his day or reads a book out loud for you to enjoy. You wish you could talk to him more, but your voice leaves you as days of endless coughing wreck your throat. No herbs and teas ease your condition anymore. You wait for your final day.
And Sukuna doesn't know when he's given up on the idea that you might get better. But he starts spending whole days with you, leaving your side only to sleep in his bed. He tends to almost all your needs personally. You think that if you asked him to get on his knees for you, he would. He is not familiar with this ache that brews in his chest when he looks to his side and doesn't see you there. It feels violating. To be as powerful as he is, and yet completely helpless in the face of the sickness that drains you in front of his very eyes.
He plays with your thinning hair one morning, and you look at him from his lap, as adoringly as always. ''Isn't it funny?.'', you say, and he snaps out of his thoughts to look at you. ''I always imagined dying by your hand.'', you kiss his hand again, planting your dry, blue lips against his knuckles. ''Who would have thought?''.
You, you little human. You made him feel like a fool, like a coward. You made him feel powerless. Who could ever get away unscathed with making Sukuna feel like this? The thought of killing you now, even out of mercy, fills him with horror. He thinks he couldn't live carrying the burden of your death on his back. It's already hard for him as is.
When he's not with you, he withers away in his room, waiting. And when the servants finally come, and tell him you're at your last strengths, he feels as tense as he feels relieved. The servants shake in fear of his reaction, and he simply dismisses them. In a thousand years of his existence, he doesn't remember having to prepare to enter a room. His hand trembles as he brings it up to push the door open. He dreads what awaits him inside.
He expected blood, hysteria, chaos, yet there's none of it when he walks in. Just the pained noises of your breathing. A servant, your favorite, sits by your side and wipes sweat off your forehead. She talks to you in a comforting tone and pats your head gently. When he walks in the room, she lowers her head and moves to leave. It's only a second, but he sees the sad look on your face. ''Stay.'', he orders, and the servant bows and thanks him.
You move your attention to him, raising your hand to greet him weakly. He picks it up and bends down to kiss it. There's tears in your eyes as he settles into a seat next to you, and you open your mouth in an attempt to say something.
''Easy now.'', he shushes you, and helps you into his lap. You lean back, looking at him through a blur. His features appear even more doubled through the tears, and you still find his beauty mesmerizing. Your master. Your own little god and protector. Although he regrets it, you've never claimed the title of his spouse. Yet, he still stuck by your side, until parted by death. In sickness and in health.
He wipes your tears, and the mouth he conjures onto his hand kisses your forehead. One set of his hands caresses your face, the other massages the tension out of your bony shoulders. Sukuna knows how important it is for you to pass in peace. He doesn't want to curse you, or have despair turn you into a curse. "Relax now.", his voice is so soothing, as if lulling you to sleep. "It won't be long". You weep. What did an ordinary human like you do to deserve this honor? To be comforted on their death bed by a god. To be guided to death by him.
"Master.", you sob. "I'm so scared..."
Delicate touch against your skin. Sharp nails grazing your cheek ever so slightly, just barely enough to make their presence known. "Have no fear.", Sukuna looms over you like a snowdrop. "Where you go now, pain won't follow.". You speak to him a little longer. Tell him all the things you always wanted to tell him, but were scared of the consequences. Dangerous words, ones that were rarely associated with Sukuna. Love. And Sukuna is attentive, so human. Your blinking slows and you find comfort in his voice, as he returns every loving word back to you. Your pained breathing follows, and your eyelids are so heavy. But the sight of him is so hypnotizing, you wish you never had to look away. "You are so brave, my little dove. Go now, be free.". You were too good for this wretched palace anyways. The sight of him is etched in your memory as you close your eyes. "It was a pleasure to have you by my side.", you listen, feeling control over your body slip through your fingers. When you can't move, or feel his touch, you still hear his calm voice. "When you're ready, come back to me. I'll be waiting for your return.". Then everything is quiet, for you and for him. The servants cries are muffled by the sheets, where she has her head pressed by your side.
The hallways, silent except for the busy tapping of feet. Outside, the wind blows petals off of blooming flowers, leaving them bare and stranded. Autumn is here to carry you away.
Servants hold their breath when Sukuna walks by. One wrong look at him and the walls would be painted red. Just like before. Before you. And it's not long before Sukuna looks like a monster again - red eyes and a permanent frown etched on his face. Villagers bring bouquets, and lay them to the right of his throne, where you used to sit. He stares them all down, and only for a moment thinks that maybe, humans are not the scum he thought they were. But then he remembers, they only mourn you because you held him back from his destructive tendencies. Scum.
And he kills again. The first is a villager from afar, where news of your passing hasn't reached. Ripped to shreds for mentioning you. The women who screamed, their blood soaks the carpets and seeps through the wooden floor, dripping down to the cellars. He feels like himself again, unhinged, unbeatable.
Until the day is over, and he goes back to his empty room. His cold, empty bed, and the old habit of reaching for you in his sleep, only to grab nothing instead. And the crocheted figures of the two of you on his nightstand, watching him as he struggles to sleep alone. He can't bear it. So he leaves, and doesn't come back for days, weeks, months.
Smoke clouds the skies on the horizon once again, after years and years of peace and clarity. As far as the eye stretches, the world will know of Sukuna's wrath. But as thrilling as it feels to conquer again, when the village is burned and ash covers the grass on the ground, the thought of you still lingers. Your devastated eyes the first time he's killed before you. The first time he's felt guilty about his monstrous nature. When he comes back, no one's warm embrace awaits him. No one's there to brighten up his day. No amount of blood shed and villages burned replace the emptiness you left behind in his heart.
The grief settles, and sits heavy in Sukuna's chest, as he assumes position in his lonely throne again, and gazes at the row of people waiting to beg, talk, offer... bore him. Another eternity of boredom. An eternity of picking through thousands of humans, in vain hopes of finding you again. In vain hopes of recognizing you, even if it's lifetimes from now, when the last memory of your face has already faded from his mind. When generations change, and the thought of a monster like Sukuna being capable of tenderness vanishes. When the fire in his chest, ignited by love, is already a memory so distant, that recalling it feels surreal.
Maybe he will forget you by then. Maybe times will harden him again, and the idea of a pet becoming his lover will make him laugh. But for now, the thought of finding you in a crowd, taking you in his arms and never letting go, is his comfort and safe place. For now, he will wait for you. As long as it takes, like a stone, unyielding against the passing of time.
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starsofang · 7 months ago
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CALL OF THE SEA / PART ONE
pirate poly!141 x f!reader tw: NSFW, MDNI, violence, death (minor characters), bits of gore, 141 are mean pirates, kidnapping
When a group of unhinged pirates invade your small village, you're whisked away from your peaceful home and thrown on to a voyage out at sea. Forced to obtain a new role as their medic, you have no choice but to accept your fate as you join their forces and aid them in their treacherous travels.
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The village was tranquil as you stepped through it, bare feet threading through the soft grass, hands wrapped around the handle of a woven basket. It was peaceful, as it always was, without the souls of townsfolk to burden you. They didn’t dare bother you with the witness of elders around, keeping any torment to themselves until nightfall when the small vendor shops had closed up for the evening and the old folk returned to their homes.
You basked in the warm summer rays that shined down on you as you walked past the various shops. Really, they were far from any real shops, only showcasing simple merchant carts with limited supply for the village to gather, but it was a small village, and everything you needed was for mere survival. You weren’t a greedy woman, and you were plenty grateful.
Stepping up to one of the merchants, you offered a polite smile to the older woman sitting behind it, bowing your head in greeting.
“Hello, Mary,” you addressed, and she perked up from where she stood, occupied with counting together the sum of coins she’d earned throughout the day. She reflected her own smile to you, standing a bit taller. A wrinkled hand lifted to brush strands of her gray hair that had blown astray in the light breeze, revealing her radiance.
“Afternoon, dove,” she greeted in return. “What’s on the agenda for today?”
“Just need a few more herbs, is all,” you shrugged, shifting your eyes away from hers to pick around her cart. Mary always had plenty on hand, and usually snuck you a few extras when you weren’t looking.
“Ah, I see. Well, you know the routine, dove. Feel free to pick as many as you need,” she encouraged. You smiled graciously, collecting a small variety of herbs and plants to place in your basket.
It was a different decision every week, seeing as you often performed trial and error with them in the comfort of your home. Despite many in your village disagreeing with your efforts, you were attempting to learn more about medicines. The village was in desperate need of a proper healer, and a female one at that. The male in current practice was much too biased and reckless, though you were sure to get a mouthful if you were to express the concern.
So, you took it upon yourself. Living in the village rather than out on the mainland, it wasn’t a simple teaching. Resources and education were much more difficult to come by, and it wasn’t deemed necessary information for women to have. It was exactly the reason why you were seen as a bit of an enigmatic outcast to all – all except Mary, of course. Perhaps she simply pitied you.
“This will be all for me, Mary,” you declared, setting the basket on top of her cart. Reaching for the small pouch that rested comfortably on your hip, you dug through it, collecting a few bronze coins and setting them in the old woman’s frail hand.
Mary accepted, placing the coins in her own pouch and throwing you a kind smile. “You sure, dove? Nothing else I can do for you?”
“I’m sure,” you confirmed with a nod. “Still in the experimentation phase, I fear.”
“You’ll get there,” she assured, clasping one of your hands between both of hers and giving it an encouraging shake before releasing. “Perhaps I’ll come visit you one of these days. An old lady like myself could use a few tweaks.”
This elicited a light laugh from you, shaking your head as you grasped the basket. “You look as healthy as a babe, Mary. But yes, please do. You know my door is always open for you.”
The two of you said your sweet farewells before you set off down the grassy trail once again. You passed the other merchants, who didn’t welcome you with the same kindness Mary had, but didn’t scare you away with shrewdness either. It was a typical routine, at this point, for others to look down on you. A woman, unwilling to marry and bear children and instead, studying medicine. A true scandal, some might say.
The walk back to your home was done so without issue, but when your humble abode came into sight, tucked away on the farther side of the village for more private practice, the faces of recognizable men came into view. This was just as frequent as the judgeful side eyes you received, but much more inconvenient.
“Afternoon, dove,” one of the men greeted with a slimy smile, the nickname the village had given you slipping off of his tongue like rotted poison. Dove, a name of something so beautiful, given out of mere pettiness. You were free like a bird, yet you should’ve been confined to your cage. Something pretty to look at, but proving no use. “Never quite got back to me about my courtship.”
Right. You had ignored it on purpose. Though deemed as strange and grotesque by the townspeople, this particular man hadn’t quite gotten the hint. Lucius was his name, fitting, seeing as he was as close to the devil as they came. Conceited and boastful with no decency of leaving you be.
He was awfully determined in wanting to fix you, to make you the housewife everybody expected you to be, just like the other village women. It was common practice, seeing as women didn’t do much other than simply that. While some were quite content with that lifestyle, you sought out more. You didn’t want to be chained down to a simple man who had nothing but arrogance to offer, nor a man you weren’t in love with.
“Yes, that’s quite right,” you confirmed dryly, stepping up to your home. He blocked the doorway, barricading you from entering.
“It’s quite rude for a lady to reject,” he interjected, a devilish smile plastered on his face. You blinked up at him with a look of indifference. “I am only asking for an answer.”
“I believe I’ve told you no plenty of times,” you sighed, adjusting the basket on your hip. “I am simply not interested.”
He sucked his teeth together, glowering down at you from where he stood. It was clear he wasn’t pleased with the answer, but unfortunately for him, it was all he was going to get. You were solid with your decision, and god forbid you did change your mind on being a wife and mother, it would not be with him.
“Can’t change your mind at all, dove?” he asked in fake sweetness, reaching for your hand that wasn’t holding the basket. He took it in his grip, much too tight for your liking. “Perhaps I can help change it if you give me one night.”
You scowled at his underlying tone, pulling your hand from his grasp and resting it on the knob of your door. You pushed it open, stepping inside before turning to him. “Please do not humor me with such indications. I am not interested, nor will I change my mind.”
Abruptly closing the door on him, you settled inside of your home, breathing a low sigh of relief. You could hear his faint chuckles with the other men present, their footsteps soft against the grass as they took their leave. He never took things too far, such as forcing his way into your home or worse, forcing himself on you, but you feared that day may come the longer you rejected his advances.
You set your basket on your desk, slouching down in the old chair you’d spend days upon days occupied in. Your journal sat open with ink scattered on the pages in your scribbled handwriting, brief sketches drawn about of the varying herbs you worked tirelessly on. Above you, jars lined the shelves with fading labels, filled with makeshift medicines of all kinds.
With the village and its people now out of sight and out of mind, you resumed your studies with the fresh herbs, focusing on what your heart truly desired.
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You don’t remember falling asleep. It had been hours of you with a pen in your hand, jotting down useful notes for your studies, and it was no surprise you had succumbed to exhaustion at the comfort of your desk. Your cot in the corner of the room was more a stranger than anything, but with the sight of moonlight still pouring in through your small windows, you debated on moving over to it so you could resume.
Standing from your desk, you rubbed the sleepiness crusting over your eyes, a yawn threatening to tug through your throat. Just as you began your short trek to your bed, a slight tinge of orange caught your eye, peeking in through your window. It was faint, barely knowledgeable.
Curiosity got the best of you, and through your hazy state, you tugged open the front door of your small cottage, daring to see what was outside. The orange grew brighter in view now that the door opening had allowed more light to pool in, and when you rubbed at your eyes once more, you recognized it as fire.
Fire, burning fiercely in the night, eating away at your village. The sounds of terrified screams and chaotic madness became abundantly clear when you stepped outside. It made your blood run cold. All hairs on your body stood straight in warning, beckoning you to return inside, to hide.
As much as you wanted to listen, the first thing to vacate your mind was Mary. In the brush of flames, you needed to know if she was alright, if she had gotten to safety before the angry fire had broken into her own home. Where most of the townsfolk treated you as a mere joke, Mary was the one who had given you kindness when needed.
Your feet moved in a rush to sprint towards the village, the grass damp from the midnight dew and sticking to your soles. The closer you came towards the heart of the village, the louder things grew. It was blood-curling, hearing booming voices bark various orders while others shouted in petrified fear. Mary’s house was on the other side of the village, and in an act of triumph, you aimed for it.
The heat of the flames became more apparent as you closed in on the town center. Townsfolk that you had grown with since a baby were in a frenzy, some bloodied, some weeping. They looked like they had gone through the pits of hell and crawled their way out, only to be inches away from being dragged back in again.
There was no explanation for why the men of your village were wearing the crimson color of fresh blood, or why some were laying in broken heaps on the ground. They were in agony, shrieking in deafening decibels. The healer in you wanted to stop everything you were doing to aid them, but the child in you wanted to reach Mary first.
You did what your heart wanted and ran for Mary.
Approaching her house, the flames had not yet approached. It wasn’t burned to ash, nor was it in shambles. Instead, one large man had Mary in their hold by each of her arms as she attempted to fight him off while another ransacked her home.
“Mary!” you shouted, helpless. The man’s head whipped in the direction of your voice, cruel eyes narrowing in on you. Mary joined him, fearful eyes catching yours.
The sight of the men was foreign to you, but you’d recognize heartless monsters such as them anywhere. They were mere stories shared between the village, often used to scare the children away from the sea for their own protection. The village was so small, nobody had ever worried about the stories happening to them.
Pirates. Cruel, greedy, malicious. Like dogs off a leash, bearing sharp teeth and frothing at the mouth. They raided innocent villages for their supply, leaving it in disarray once they got what they wanted. Sick bastards who deserved punishment, yet slipped away in the roaring waves of the sea before it could be handed to them.
“Let go of her,” you pleaded with the pirate, hands clasped together. You knew you couldn’t fight him off, even if you tried. Mary was just as powerless as you, and old age was starting to catch up to her. She was fragile, and with the way he was handling her, you feared she’d get harmed.
The mysterious pirate continued to stare at you with an unreadable expression. He grunted in annoyance, loosening his grip on Mary but not quite releasing. It did nothing to comfort you, and that feeling grew tenfold when the other pirate stepped out of Mary’s home, locking in on you.
“Grab tha’ one, will ye, Gaz?” the one holding Mary huffed, gesturing towards you with a nod of his head. The other, Gaz, nodded in return, sauntering up to you like death on wheels. You needed to run, to escape, but he was too quick. Before you knew it, Gaz’s arms had wrapped around your waist, hauling you over his shoulder like a doll.
Flailing in his embrace did nothing. His grip was firm, arm locked on to you impossibly tight, and the punches you threw to his back seemed almost comical to him.
“Find anythin’?” the other asked Gaz. Gaz shook his head, releasing a frustrated exhale.
As chaos ensued around you, the two men began dragging you and Mary along towards the heart of the village where you were moments ago. Gaz’s grip loosened on you, before he dropped you to the damp ground carelessly. You landed with a huff, soreness soaring through your back.
Looking around, you realized that many of the townsfolk were in the same condition. Lined up besides one another, pleading for their lives, weeping with ugly snot running from their noses. Mary was beside you, shaken but unharmed from the looks of it. She stared at you with heart wrenching fright, and you wished you could’ve told her things would be okay.
But they weren’t. The village was set ablaze, its people lined up like prisoners with a group of pirates looming over them like reapers prepared for death. The peace from this afternoon had vanished, and there would be no return. Things would be forever different, if they spared your lives.
Gaz and the other pirate stood side by side as they looked over the townsfolk. Another was beside them, face distorted by a ghastly mask that resembled a skull. It sent shivers down your spine. It was as if you truly were looking death in the eye.
A fourth pirate stepped forward, eyes that should’ve been considered kind instead staring down every last villager with heated observation. He was silent as he paced slowly, hands behind his back, the fire casting a doomful glow upon his face.
“My name is Captain Price,” he introduced. His voice was booming with authority. “If you do not wish to aid us, then we do not wish to aid you. The choice is yours.”
Sweat beaded your hairline from both the flames of fire scorching around you, and the anxiety that spiked inside of you. Your eyes locked in on the Captain, watching his every movement, noting the way he stood tall and proud, showcasing the true power he held. The villagers and you were helpless against him and his crew, and he was ensuring that it was obvious.
“We seek a medic. If you cannot provide that to us, then you are of no use to me,” he explained, pausing his pacing. He took in the sight of every grim face. Once he landed on you, you shivered, looking away in a panic. “I will ask you once. Who is your medic?”
Deafening silence filled the air apart from the flickering flames that threatened to consume us whole. Nobody dared to speak a word, nor did they look away from Price. It was as if time had stopped and everybody froze.
Price sniffed, glancing around the villagers. Though he seemed collected in his behavior, you could recognize the impatience from the way his lip twitched and his shoulders tensed.
“The Captain asked you lot a question,” Gaz sneered in defense. Price spared him a glance before returning focus. Still, nobody spoke for the next few moments.
It wasn’t until Price’s hand drifted to his waist, hand coming to rest on a handgun that the air shifted into one of unease. The sight of it made you sick to the stomach. Handguns were a specialty only the wealthy or military could acquire. They were rare and expensive, a luxury to some, but deadly. One click, and your soul was taken right from your body.
Price grasped the handgun, holding it in his hand as if it were a toy. He stepped up to the line of villagers, peering down at them like useless pigs. The sight of the gun had women quivering in fear, tears streaming down their rosy cheeks. The men were men no more, stripped away of their masculinity and replaced with little boys, unable to protect their kin and fulfill their duty as defenders.
The gun was raised, threat building with every inch. The barrel pointed right at the horror-stricken face of the very man who intruded on your home earlier – Lucius. Gone was the cocky mockery of a man, replaced with a whimpering boy who feared death just as much as another. He was shaking, shoulders slouched in attempts to appear small.
“We will try this again,” Price demanded. The cold barrel pressed to the temple of Lucius’ head and you could do nothing but sit and watch, unsure of what to feel. Sure, he kept a sour taste in your mouth simply from being. But to wish death on him for being a hindrance was distasteful. “Who is your medic?”
Lucius wouldn’t possibly rat you out. He was a selfish man who took what he wanted, but surely, he wouldn’t. He wasn’t that cruel.
The coward’s shaky hand lifted to point in your direction. It felt as if he were throwing a sharp dagger at you, the way he exposed the occupation you’d been so meticulously working hard towards.
Eyes shifted towards you, sending an ice cold burst through your veins. They were prodding, dissecting you from head to toe as if you were an experiment for them to test on. It was unsettling, sinking your heart down to the pits of your stomach.
“You’re the medic?” Price questioned. He hadn’t lowered his weapon, keeping it firm against Lucius’ skull, but his attention had shifted to you. His eyes weren’t warm and kind like they were shaped out to be, but rather cold, glossed over with hardened hostility.
“I–” You swallowed. “I am merely a medic in practice. I am not a professional, I do not know proper teachings–”
“Ghost,” he interrupted, whipping his head to look at the masked man. Ghost was a brute of a man, a shadow that would’ve been consumed by the night if not for the illuminating glow coming from the village in flames. “Take her so she can gather her things. She’s coming with us.”
Dread struck you right to the core. You wanted to beg for them to leave you be, to explain that you weren’t what they wanted. You didn’t want to be stripped from your home and tossed onto a ship with no clue of where your next destination was. These men were dangerous, seeping pure rancor and poisoning the very ground you laid on. Leaving with them was a death sentence.
Ghost said nothing, and even if he did, you wouldn’t have been able to hear it from the subtle weeping from villagers beside you. His strides were long as he approached you, and without warning, his rough hand grasped your elbow, hauling you to your feet. The force startled you, throwing you off balance but his grip was tight enough to keep you grounded.
As you were dragged away towards the direction of your home, you could hear an uproar of cries. Terror struck the village once more and you could do nothing but accept fate for what it was. You wanted to turn your head to see what was becoming of your people, but you were scared. Scared of what you may see, scared of what Ghost will do if you look.
You kept your gaze forward, legs moving quickly to match the heavy pace of Ghost, guiding the lion into your den.
Arriving at your home, you were hit with the realization that it would be the last time entering it. Your hard work would vanish, the space you made into your security blanket would be destroyed, burned to ash once the flames settled. It tore your heart to bits.
“Hurry up,” Ghost gruffed, his voice gravelly and hoarse. Just like Price, it was assertive, leaving no room for discussion.
You made haste to pack your essentials into a flimsy satchel. It wouldn’t be able to fit much, and you could only pray they would at least provide you with bare necessities on your voyage to hell. In your satchel went your journal, the cluttered jars of experimental medicines, your favorite quill, and a daring change of clothes. If Ghost thought you to remain alive long enough to have the opportunity to redress, he didn’t express it.
“That all?” he huffed, and when you nodded, he seized your arm again. “Let’s go.”
The sight of your home became a distant memory the farther you went from it. Already your body was pleading to go back, to curl up in bed and pretend that all of this was a sick dream. You regretted not making your cot of more use, sleeping in that damned wooden chair instead.
By the time you arrived back at the town center, it was like witnessing purgatory itself. Bloodshed with the bodies of your people laid across the ground like animals tossed aside. Useless and unworthy, that was how these pirates treated them. Though your people had never been kind to you, this was a fate you would never have wished upon them.
Their faces were unrecognizable as you took them in. Some burned, some beaten so bloody their faces had swelled into ugly monsters, some slain. The sight of the deceased made you want to vomit, bile piling in your throat and threatening to expel out.
Your eyes frantically searched for Mary, aching to know if they had given her mercy. She was a frail woman, withering with her age. She was innocent.
You couldn’t find her familiar face, and you weren’t sure whether to feel relieved or dreadful.
The three other pirates were standing around one another. They were unphased by the actions they had bestowed upon the village, as if it was another simple day. It unnerved you, rattling your bones with burrowing fear. When they noticed the return of you and their crewmate, they wasted no time in guiding you off to the small port in which their ship had been docked.
It was large, wood tainted with brown so dark it could’ve been black. It blended in with the abyss of the sea, which you realized was entirely the point. Unnoticed and concealed.
Ghost didn’t let go of you as he helped you on to the ship, nor did he release once your bare feet connected with the wood. It was just as restricting as before, causing a light pulse to form in your bicep where he held you.
“Take her to the chambers until we figure out the next step,” Price ordered Ghost, nodding his head in the direction of raggedy doors. You could only imagine what lies behind them, waiting for you.
Ghost grunted in response, tugging you with him and having you stumble on your own two feet. The wood was rough and sharp on your soles, slicing tiny splinters into your skin. Shoes weren’t needed in your village unless it was winter, and even then, the grass was always enough to consume them in warmth. Now, you were regretting not owning a pair.
“In you go,” Ghost uttered once he had the door pulled open, shoving you down a small flight of stairs towards the lower section of the ship. It was dingy and unlit, the only light seeping in being the moonlight from a tiny window.
Once inside, you recognized your new home as a cell. Barred and caged in, being tossed inside carelessly. There was nothing but a cot and a bucket to relieve yourself. It was completely empty and void of comfort.
Ghost shut the cell door, locking it with an annoyed grunt. You hadn’t even noticed him pull out the set of keys to open it for you, nor had you noticed when he locked you in. You watched as he thrusted the keys in his back pocket, the only evidence of its presence being the small glint of metal from the moon’s light.
“Wait!” you cried out when he turned to leave. You scrambled on the cell floor, hands wrapping around the cold bars. He paused his walk, throwing you a look of disinterest. “You can’t just leave me in here!”
Ghost snorted in what you dared to say amusement. “Don’t get your knickers in a twist, princess. You’ll be of use soon enough.”
Ignoring your pleas, he stepped up the stairs and returned to the main deck, shutting the door and leaving you utterly alone. Silence filled the air apart from the calming waves of the sea, though it did nothing to soothe you. You were helpless, deprived of any form of escape.
You spent what felt like hours on the floor of your cell, weeping into your own hands, silently praying to a God to release you. When nobody came to your rescue, you knew it was far too late for a miracle. This would be your new life, your new home, for as long as they kept you alive.
Part of you wished they would’ve just killed you instead.
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