#she also heavily favours heck

[typosandtea]

OC SPEECH MANNERISMS

Thanks for the tag @bokatan ^_^

I tag @charliesvarietyhour @fablewritesnonsense @sirmanmister @secondhand-lions @wasteland-wrecker (so many people have already been tagged lol)

-> Not including Nathan since he barely speaks now he’s mutated

Tango

NO. OF SPOKEN LANGUAGES: 1 / 2* / 3 (two if robot/binary counts)

TONE OF VOICE: high / average / deep (power armour modulated phill Coulson basically)

ACCENT: Yes* (notably electronic/robotic sounding, even with a massive range of tone etc)/ No

DEMEANOR: confident / shy / approachable / hostile / other

POSTURE: slumped / straight / stiff / relaxed

HABITS: head tilting / swaying / fidgeting / stuttering / gesturing (anyone who hangs out with them for any length of time quickly learns to be out of accidental slapping distance.. power armour accidental backhand hurts!) / arm crossing / strokes chin / er, um, or other interjections / plays with hair or clothing / hands at hips / inconsistent eye contact / maintains eye contact / frequent pausing / stands close / stands at a distance

COMPLEXITY

VOCABULARY: ⬤⬤⬤〇〇

EMOTION: ⬤⬤⬤〇〇

SENTENCE STRUCTURE: ⬤〇〇〇〇

PROFANITY

FREQUENCY: ⬤⬤⬤〇〇

CREATIVITY (in regards to profanity): ⬤〇〇〇〇

BOLD ALL THAT APPLY: arse. ass. asshole. bastard. (Don’t be a little)bitch. bloody. bugger. bollocks. chicken shit. crap. cunt. dick. frick. fuck. horseshit. motherfucker. piss. prick. screw. shit. shitass. son of a bitch. twat. wanker. pussy.

IMPORTANT QUESTIONS

DO PEOPLE HAVE A HARD TIME HEARING OR UNDERSTANDING YOUR CHARACTER? - almost always / frequently / rarely / never

DOES YOUR CHARACTER'S INTENDED POINT COME ACROSS EASILY WHEN THEY SPEAK? - almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never.

WOULD YOUR CHARACTER INITIATE CONVERSATIONS? - almost always / frequently / sometimes / never.

WOULD YOUR CHARACTER BE THE ONE TO END CONVERSATIONS? - almost always (if Tangos not vibing time to hit da bricks)/ frequently / sometimes / rarely / never.

WOULD YOUR CHARACTER USE 'WHOM' IN A SENTENCE? - yes / no / only ironically

YOUR CHARACTER WANTS TO MAKE A COUNTERPOINT. WHAT WORD DO THEY USE? - but / though / although / however / perhaps / mayhaps.

HOW DOES YOUR CHARACTER END CONVERSATIONS? - walk away / ask if that's everything / say that's everything / give a proper goodbye (reserved for the few people Tango considered a friend) / tell their company they're done here / remain quiet / they don't.

WHAT SOCIAL CLASS WOULD OTHERS ASSUME YOUR CHARACTER BELONGS TO, HEARING THEM SPEAK? - upper / middle / lower. (Average tech-scavenging wastelander by voice alone)

IN WHAT WAYS DOES THE WAY YOUR CHARACTER SPEAK STAND OUT TO OTHERS? - accent / vocabulary / tone / level / politeness / brusqueness / it doesn't.

Murphy

NO. OF SPOKEN LANGUAGES: 1 / 2 / 3

TONE OF VOICE: high / average / deep (deeper than you expect for how short she is though)

ACCENT: Yes / No (strong Aussie)

DEMEANOR: confident / shy / approachable / hostile / other

POSTURE: slumped / straight / stiff / relaxed

HABITS: head tilting / swaying / fidgeting / stuttering / gesturing / arm crossing / strokes chin / er, um, or other interjections / plays with hair or clothing / hands at hips / inconsistent eye contact / maintains eye contact / frequent pausing / stands close / stands at a distance

COMPLEXITY

VOCABULARY: ⬤⬤⬤⬤〇

EMOTION: ⬤⬤⬤⬤⬤

SENTENCE STRUCTURE: ⬤⬤⬤〇〇

PROFANITY

FREQUENCY: ⬤⬤〇〇〇

CREATIVITY (in regards to profanity): ⬤⬤⬤⬤〇

BOLD ALL THAT APPLY: arse(move ur arse, well that bit me in arse). ass. asshole. bastard. bitch. bloody. bugger. bollocks. chicken shit. crap. cunt. dick. frick. fuck(fuckin, for fucks sake, fuckin hell). horseshit. motherfucker. piss(piss off). prick. screw. shit(shit a brick). shitass. son of a bitch. twat. wanker. pussy. (heck, oh heck)

IMPORTANT QUESTIONS

DO PEOPLE HAVE A HARD TIME HEARING OR UNDERSTANDING YOUR CHARACTER? - almost always / frequently / rarely / never (strong foreign accent + lots of slang + fast talker)

DOES YOUR CHARACTER'S INTENDED POINT COME ACROSS EASILY WHEN THEY SPEAK? - almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never. (3 int 10 charisma)

WOULD YOUR CHARACTER INITIATE CONVERSATIONS? - almost always / frequently / sometimes / never.

WOULD YOUR CHARACTER BE THE ONE TO END CONVERSATIONS? - almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never.

WOULD YOUR CHARACTER USE 'WHOM' IN A SENTENCE? - yes / no / only ironically

YOUR CHARACTER WANTS TO MAKE A COUNTERPOINT. WHAT WORD DO THEY USE? - but / though / although / however / perhaps / mayhaps.

HOW DOES YOUR CHARACTER END CONVERSATIONS? - walk away(or fly away, rude) / ask if that's everything / say that's everything / give a proper goodbye / tell their company they're done here(being rude) / remain quiet / they don't.

WHAT SOCIAL CLASS WOULD OTHERS ASSUME YOUR CHARACTER BELONGS TO, HEARING THEM SPEAK? - upper / middle / lower.

IN WHAT WAYS DOES THE WAY YOUR CHARACTER SPEAK STAND OUT TO OTHERS? - accent / vocabulary / tone / level / politeness / brusqueness / it doesn't.

[definesanity]

The Weird Ones

Uzi Doorman was not your typical teenage girl. In fact, she was the farthest thing from it.

Her mom had managed to get her into college, bless her, and in Copper City, no less, but people STILL knew she was the daughter of Khan.

Greeeeeeeeeat.

Thankfully, there is someone who doesn't mind. Actually, a few.

First, Lizzy and Russian Doll. No, that is genuinely her name, and isn't bullied for it due to Lizzy. Lizzy is the atypical mean girl, and Doll is... well, a friend of her's, and a Russian transfer student.

Thad is cool. Not much to say other than, minus the ones he hangs out with, he's decent enough.

And, then, there are the last three. Who are, by far, the strangest.

Nathaniel, Victoria, and Jessica Elliot. Or, more commonly, for some reason, N, V, and J.

They're the adopted siblings of Tessa James(who calls their daughter James???) Elliot, a girl who is preeeeetty high up on the social ladder. N, as much as the guy is a golden retriever, is a nice guy at the end of the day.

Which then led her to meeting V and J, and then realising that she was gay as fuck.

She means. Come on! V walks around with that coat showing off her honkers and J is. Well she definitely awakened some things!

So, it came to Uzi. Alone. Groaning that she's single. Again. For like. The. Fifth time that day.

Her phone buzzed and her arm nearly dislocated at the speed at which she grabbed it.

It was a text from N:

Golden_Retrievers_Have_Gentl: Hey! Busy? Just wanna hang out and chat about something! :D

Uzi's reply was simple, but effective:

DarkXWolf17: pls holy shit i am so fucking bored rn. where u wanna meet

Golden_Retrieves_Have_Gentl: Outside of campus! I'll wait for ya! ;3

Finally, something to do.

---------------

Eh, it's not bad.

It is just. Chatting. But, to be honest, Uzi likes N's stories. They're pretty funny at times, especially when it's concerned over Tessa and her less-than-posh ways.

Still, N eventually paused, oddly enough, and made a thinking pose.

"Yo, Thinker, you doing okay?" Uzi was gonna kill herself later for caring.

"Eh? Oh, right, sorry! Just thinking, is all... so, um. Can I ask for a favour?"

"...What is it." Uzi didn't look amused.

"Hey, I'm not asking you to win the Election! It's just, you're single, right?"

"Thanks for the reminder." Uzi didn't look impressed, and N sucked in a whince.

"Yeeeeeah... well, not related, can you... keep an eye on my sister, please? I got a call from Tessa who happily reminded me I'm needed for something, soooooooo..."

"Oh, sure, yeah. Who is it? V? J?"

"Cyn!" N replied happily.

"Who." Uzi's flat expression could be framed in a museum. Or, heck, give her a record for "Most Flat Expression" so she can be famous for something *other* than being the spawn of Khan Fucking Doorman.

"...Oh, right, yeah! Um. She's the youngest, although we're all about the same age anyways, she's pretty short, has yellow eyes, and is really sweet!"

Uzi raised an eyebrow. "...Then how come I haven't seen her before, then?"

"She's homeschooled! She's a little, uh..."

"I heard you were. Talking shit. Big Brother."

"OH JESUS CHRISTMAS--" N jumped five feet into the air, and to the side, revealing to Uzi the most autistic girl she's ever seen in her entire life.

Cargo shorts. Fucking. Cargo. Shorts.

Cyn was, put simply, kinda cute. And also heavily autistic, from what Uzi can tell.

N whispered to her, *"Hey, just so you know, she's not doing that on purpose! She has a speech problem!"*

"Annoyed Expression. I can, hear you. Dickhead."

"OHLOOKATTHETIMEIGOTTAGOANDDASHNOWBYYYYYYYE!" N ran away, leaving behind a goth in a hoodie and beanie with an autistic college(???) girl with a t-shirt with Jenny Wakeman on it and cargo shorts.

"...'Annoyed Expression'?" Uzi quoted. It definitely was strange. But Uzi herself had scoured a 97% of of 100% for an autism test so she can't say shit.

"Mm. I heard that my, facial expressions are hard to, read." Cyn's voice was slightly deep, and her words were slowly spoken. Kinda like a robot. Neat.

"Therefore. Neutral Expression. I announce my, current expression." Cyn finished with a shrug.

"...Yeah, that's fair I guess. Still, does it get tiring?"

"Bemused Look. Does it not get hot, wearing black clothes?"

"Bite me." Uzi said by reflex. A habit she developed when she was younger that sticked with her even now.

"Fair."

-------------

From there, Uzi learnt three things:

Thing One: Cyn is highly autistic, yes, but underneath the 'tism was a pretty intelligent gal. Although most that knowledge was in robotics.

(I know you're reading this Archie, and I didn't say it at the time, but 'the 'tism' was the best thing I'd heard all day /gen --Ryuusei.)

Thing Two: 'Criss-Cross Applesauce' is now the funniest thing Uzi has ever heard.

Thing Three: Um.

...She was cute, okay??? Don't blame her! Bite her!

Which led to about a few months later. Wherein she was sitting down near some statue and N was looking at her patiently.

"...So I might be dating you sister." Uzi croaked out. She didn't look dead inside, but she has a feeling she will be dead on the outside sooner than later.

N, so far, took it well. "Oh! Um. Okay! I don't mind at all! Who is it? V? J?"

Uzi made a pained noise that sounded like that of a quiet banshee scream.

N then had his two braincells knock together.

At the same time Cyn leaned over Uzi, and waved, smiling.

N had a dial-up moment. "Wah???"

"Amused Expression. You look, surprised, Big Brother, N."

"Whajiah--YEAH???"

He gestured to Uzi. Uzi went near him, and he leaned next to her ear.

"Okay, I mean, I'm not mad, really! Just a little surprised! I mean, like. The claws???"

Uzi looked at Cyn. Her 'claws' are moreso just sharp nails.

"Spicy." Uzi replied with a smile.

N looked very confused.

Cyn went '^_^'

[rallamajoop]

Mother Miranda and Snow White's Evil Queen

I've long had RE8's Miranda mentally filed under "basically just a knockoff of the Evil Queen from Disney's Snow White," but given the dearth of google hits comparing the two, maybe it does fall to me to point out the obvious.

See it's not just their imperious attitudes, or their dedication to black robes and medieval-style hair-coverings. It's not just their mutual habits of shapeshifting into an elderly hag when they want to sneak around incognito either.

It's not just the fact that one goes after Snow White while the other has it in for Ethan and Rosemary Winters. It's not even just the fact that they're both such horrible step/adoptive mothers to all their children.

Oh no, we're just getting started on everything these two fairy-tale witches have in common.

There's the thing with hearts for one, even if they differ in the fine details. Where the Evil Queen sends out a hunter to rip out Snow White's heart and bring it back in a nice little box (see top pic), Miranda prefers to cut out the middle man and rip out poor Ethan Winters' heart herself (surprisingly, this does not produce more definitive results).

Similarly, Miranda likes to wear a gold mask, whereas the Evil Queen just tends to see a mask in her mirror.

Fashion-wise, they both favour black, white and gold, and they're both big on feathers and halos ‒ but Miranda works more of those elements directly into her outfit, whereas the Evil Queen just hangs out on a throne capped with a big circle of gold peacock feathers.

Mind you, even Miranda was supposed to have a big throne of her own in some early concept art ‒ admittedly it's more game-of-thrones than Disney.

As well-to-do witches, they've both got their sinister underground laboratories to do their dirty work in.

Then there's the crow theme. Miranda can transform into a flock of crows, whereas the Evil Queen just has the one raven pal she hangs out with in her lab.

Need I go on?

Now, if you'd ask me to pick a Disney villain as the basis for a new Resident Evil Big Bad, Snow White is admittedly not the film I'd have gone for. The Evil Queen is so heavily overshadowed by later Disney villains in both style and substance that I spent a number of years assuming she was just Maleficent in a different hat. Heck, the original film doesn't even give her a proper name ‒ wikis are still stuck calling her 'The Evil Queen' to this day.

And it's hard to say Miranda makes much impression herself, overshadowed as she is in popularity by every one of her children and the guy running the merchandise stand out the front, and largely coming across as just a watered-down Dimitrescu. She gets the job done, but she's hardly the one who's going to stay with you.

All that said, if you're going for the original, ur-example of the fairy-tale villainess ‒ the evil stepmother who is also a witch ‒ then Snow White is very much the tale you're looking for. Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty will give you one of the two, but Snow White hits both with one swing. And say what you like about Disney, they've founded an empire on redefining the modern image of fairy tales ‒ 1937's Snow White being where it all began.

Whether the creators of Resident Evil Village were consciously referencing referencing Disney's version of Snow White, or whether they were just drawing from generic fairy tale archtypes isn't terribly important. Separating Disney's influence out of the broader popular imagery associated with fairy tales these days may be impossible anyway.

But if it was deliberate, well, it's pretty hard to fault their choice of sources.

[saintobio]

Sera and Satoru bring out the worst when together. I remember at the start I thought Satoru’s behaviour was inexcusable and just plain revolting, it made Sera seem much more favourable when compared to him heck I remember when some of us even shipped sera x yn but now that the story has progressed Satoru has started to show a softer more vulnerable and honest side of himself and that’s because the marriage has allowed him to distance himself away from sera but it’s also funny how despite being in a relationship (where ideally you bring out the best qualities in each other bc you want to be the best version of yourself???) sera has regressed into the ugliest personality ever when she notices gojo being different (even tho it’s a GOOD DIFFERENT) she feels targeted by everything yn does like when will she realise that not everyone revolves around her not everyone is out to get her...yet. But yeh it just shows how unhealthy their relo is and they’re just not meant to be but who knows maybe they’ll last longer than satoru’s marriage 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

i agreeee heavily !! gojo is a different breed when he was w sera vs now that he’s with yn and it shows 😭

[fandomscombine]

It's the Lease I Can Do

Platonic! Weasley Twins x Reader

BG: The Weasley twins are so close to having their joke shop become a reality. They had found the perfect location but they had hit a minor problem that could cause them everything. You want to help, but how can you when they, the birthday boys themselves had given up?

a/n: I had this idea for a almst a year now and waited til ther twins bday to write it. I hope you enjoy.

WC: 2111

>>>MASTERLIST<<<

Fred and George causing a ruckus in the common room is a daily occurrence that everyone is accustomed to. However ever since the start of Year 7, the amount of commotion these two had caused can be counted in one hand.

At first glance, it could be attributed to NEWTS or in this year's case-to a pink toad acting as High Inquisitor. Still, more and more nights the twins had claimed the back corner of the common room.

~

The last remaining batch of students were making their way through Filch's checkpoint (an added security protection which also serves for Umbridge having a list of names on who comes in and out of Hogwarts). You glanced down at your watch- 2:27pm, they’re late. Weird, the twins never pass a chance to go to Hogsmeade.

You hear the castle door open behind you. Thank Merlin, you thought but instead you were greeted with a disheveled Angelina. “I’m coming! Wait!”

“Have you seen Fred and George?” You called as she ran past you.

“I think I saw them in the common room!” Angelina shouted back.

The common room? “What are they up to now?” You sighed. Stomping heavily up the stairs. “Ditching me….”

~

“Oi Weaslebees! I know you’re in here!” You rounded the corner of their secret spot. “AHa!”

You caught them red handed, midway into shoving papers into their “Weasley & Weasley'' Trunk. Though what they were hiding, you weren't exactly sure.

“Y/N!” Fred greeted, grabbing onto your shoulders, effectively covering George and the table. “To what do we owe the pleasure?”

Narrowing your eyes at him. “Really?” Hands on hips you blatantly say “2:15 am, courtyard?? Ring any bells?” Fred shook his head.

Meanwhile George’s head shot up. “Oh shit, y/n we’re so sorry!”

Fred turned to his brother, still clueless on what the heck George was talking about.

Abandoning the trunk, George gave his twin a classic smack on the head. “Hogsmeade, you idiot! We were supposed to all go together.”

“OHHHH FU--” Fred knew he was screwed. “I’M SO SORRY! WE’RE SORRY.” Seizing the messy trunk, he strategized. “Right, here’s the plan: I’m gonna quickly drop this off back in the dorm while you two make your way to the gate. If you run, I guess you can make it. I’ll catch up with you two then.”

“Fred….. We’re not gonna make it” you argued.

“Not if we don’t try.”

“It’s almost 3, Filch would be closing the gates by now.” You sat down on Fred’s empty seat. “Besides we can go to Hogsmeade next time, we could just hang out here. I miss having my best lads around.”

“Awww…we’ve been upgraded from annoying pricks to best lads!” Gushed George, pulling you into a side hug.

“Yea, I could help in whatever it was you guys were doing before I came. I don’t mind.”

At that, you could feel George tense up, his arm around you dropping. “Uhhh…” He looked to the older twin, silently conversing.

You gaze between the boys, sometimes they get so caught up in their scheming that they don’t notice that to others, especially those who had known them for years that their non verbal communication is not so sly.

In the end, Fred gave his brother a subtle shake. “No, that’s alright. I’ll just put this back and we could play gobstones or something, anything you like.”

As Fred headed up to his dorm room, you noticed a piece of paper under the table. Picking it up, the header caught your eye. RE: Lease Agreement. Were the twins looking for a new home after graduation? You didn’t mean to pry. You were close friends, they would tell you if they were moving right? This is big news….you decided to brush it off until another line caught your attention. The shop premise located at Number 93 Diagon Alley. Shop? They are trying to set up shop? That’s brilliant! The twins would get to showcase their inventions to the world! You could feel your pride swell. Leasing Agreements would not proceed if tenants, Mr. Fred Weasley and Mr. George Weasley, are unable to provide an endorser by the date of 31st of March.

“Where’d you get that?” George standing across from you, gobstones on one hand and another pointing at the document. There’s no backing out now.

“It was under the table.” You explained. “I didn’t know you were this far along with the shop.”

“Yea, well it’s not happening now is it?”

“What?”

“Cmon y/n. I know you read it.”

“I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s alright. We aren’t getting the place anyway.”

“Wait what? Why?”

“No endorsers.” George stated matter of factly but you sense the pain in his voice.

“How about your parents surely-”

George laughed. “As if mum would suddenly have a change of heart. You knew how she disapproves of our inventions, calling it a waste.”

“Arthur then.”

“Mum won’t let him.”

“Anyone then?” George huffed in defeat. “How about me! I could back you up.”

“You have to be an adult with a proven financial stability.” He stated, effectively shutting you down. “Forget it y/n. The hold ends in 3 days. We’ve tried everything. Just don’t let Fred know that you know. He’s devastated. Promise?”

“I promise.”

“And no pity, sad eyes!” He added as footsteps are heard descending the staircase.

“But I suck at poker faces!”

“Then let’s hope that Freddie is distracted even to not notice.”

~

It’s been 4 days since you had sent the letter to your father.

“Dear papa,

I know that this is a huge favour to ask but I believe it would be worth your while.

So remember back in the summer when you caught Fred Weasley, George Weasley and me snooping around with the Extendable Ears but let us go because you were so enamored?

Well turns out the twins and trying to get a shop up and running! How amazing is that?

The only problem is that they need an endorser to back them up in order to proceed with the lease agreements. The are currently on hold for the Shop Number 93 in Diagon Alley until the 31st.

This is where the huge favour comes in. Could you please be their backer? You did say that you’d love to help in some part in their invention, be an investor of sorts. Please papa. I would love to do it myself but I have to wait a couple more months to qualify. Plus it’s their 18th birthday on April 1st. Imagine their surprise if it were to come through.

I’d love to hear from you soon, regardless of your choice.

Your favourite child

y/n.”

The twin’s 18th birthday was spent with absolute love and madness.

Lee had unloaded his stash of butterbeer and firewhiskey, Fred had slipped Angelina with one of their new prank inventions- which changes the person into a sickly color of vomit green, a perfect way to ditch class or events.

Upon learning that the color would last for a few days and would only fade with the ingestion of an antidote, antidote that George said they still had yet to create. Angelina (understandably) threw cake at them. The Gryffindor chaser with perfect aim, hits its mark. However, Fred using his beater skills, instinctively blocks the incoming cake.

Resulting in a wide splat zone. Fred’s arm was covered in frosting, having sprayed everyone around him in whipped cream during the impact. George wasn’t safe too, despite being across from Fred, the rebounce of the cake had made him the new target.

You had just changed into your pajamas when a tapping sound came from your window.

Your family owl, Lanny, was outside carrying a large yellow envelope.

Quickly letting him in, you gave Lanny a gentle pat and brought out some owl treats for the tired bird.

Unscrolling the note tied to his leg, you begin to read.

“My dearest y/n,

My sincere apologies for the late reply, it’s been quite hectic at work.

In regards to your favour, you need not worry. Everything is taken care of. I had met with the landlord of Number 93 Diagon Alley and had all the documents settled. I had also gone and checked to make sure the two lads aren’t being ripped off. Fred and George had picked a nice prime location.

Greet them a happy birthday for me alright? And tell them that I look forward to witnessing them succeed in their endeavors.

They would undoubtedly be bringing a lot of much needed joy into these darkening times. The people would be thankful for them.

I also had Lanny bring the twins’ copy of the Lease Agreement.

I can’t wait to see you all soon.

Much love,

Papa.”

~

Fred was grateful that their friends had retired into the night, leaving him and George to sulk into the dreadful reality.

“We were this close Georgie, this close!” Fred winced, pinching his fingers close without touching.

“I know but there was nothing else we could have done.” consoled George but even he himself was having a hard time. Number 93 was the perfect location for their joke shop. But now it’s gone.They are back to square one, scouting for locations.

“Fred! George! There you are! I have great news!” You yelled, not caring if you could wake up the other students.

“Oi Y/N! Be careful!.” Even in a bad mood, Fred Weasley couldn’t help being protective.

You banged the envelope on the table. “Surprise! Happy Birthday! From papa and I.”

“Another gift?” wondered George.

“So you don’t want it then?” You challenged, crossing your arms. You tried to look intimidating but the pajamas weren’t doing any good. “Cause I bet a hundred galleons that you’d shit your pants if you were to reject it.”

“That confident eh?” Smirked Fred, taking the contents of the envelope out. “ What do you think is so grand that Georgie and I would---BLOODY HELL! Y/N!” Fred kept looking down at the paper and up to you, unbelieving.

“What is it Freddie?” asked George leaning over to read whatever it was that left his brother speechless.

Re: Lease Agreement

Mr. y/l/n has submitted his endorsement to Mr. Fred Weasley and Mr. George Weasley.

The turnover of the leasing property of Shop Number 93 Diagon Alley would begin on April 1st …..

“Oh My- Y/n? Is this real?” George whispered, afraid that if he were any louder this dream would end.

“Yes, absolutely, 100%.” You affirmed. “The shop is yours! Opff-”

George embraced you tight, catching you off guard. You could feel your right shoulder getting wet. “Heyya big guy, don’t cry.” Running a hand up and down his back.

“But how?” Fred with brows creased was still stuck in a trance, you could see the paper shake in his grasp.

“You left the agreement noticed a couple of days ago. I might have accidentally read it. George said to not let you know cause you might get angry-”

“YOu KNEW?!?”

“George only knew I saw the paper. Nothing else.” You defended. “I thought i might try and help, so I called in a favour with papa. You knew how much he was impressed with the Extendable Ear, so I mentioned if he wanted to back you up. I only got his reply just now, said he’d love to and got onto ironing out the paperwork and viola!” Pointing at the document. “Oh and he also said Happy 18th Birthday, looking forward to your success and the people would be thankful for bringing a lot of much needed joy into these darkening times.”

“Thanks Y/n but this is a lot we can’t possibly-”

You cut Fred off before he could say more. “Oh please, you have done countless things for me. And I know what you’re gonna say- but see you would do the same for me. Besides think of this as your first investors. We want to help. We see your potential, we know you two, Fred, George, are gifted with bringing laughter and joy to people with your inventions."

"Thank you, truly y/n and to your dad too." Fred admitted, opening himself up. "No one's really backed us up with our inventions before, we've been always told off for being childish. It really means a lot."

“Hey, it’s the lease I could do.” You replied, causing the twins to chuckle immediately lightening up the mood.

It's great to see them relax again after weeks of stressing over the shop. Times might be changing but at least tonight, you got your best lads back.

~

Everything Taglist : @gruffle1

HP Taglist: @onlyfreds

[fanficshiddles]

Too Hot, One shot

Summary: Darcy and Loki end up getting sex pollen on them. Causing them both to come into a type of heat. With only one another to help. 

Darcy and Loki were on a mission for The Avengers.

They were annoyed that they had been sent together. They couldn’t stand one another. Darcy found Loki was so arrogant most of the time, and Loki always got so irritated at Darcy’s sassy mouth.

It was a simple mission though, it was just going to the Collector on Knowhere to pick up something for Stark.

They had received the package from the Collector with no issue, so were heading out of his museum. On the way, Darcy spotted a lovely plant. It was large and had stunning pink flowers coming off it.

‘Oh, that’s beautiful.’ She reached out and plucked one of the flowers off the plant.

‘Darcy, NO!’ Loki quickly reached out and snatched it off her, he grumbled and placed it back on the plant. Hoping the Collector wouldn’t notice.

‘Come on.’ He grabbed her elbow and swiftly led her out of there.

‘What’s your problem? There were heaps of flowers on it, he wouldn’t miss one.’ Darcy snapped as they headed back to their ship.

‘You don’t mess with what belongs to the Collector. Trust me.’ Loki said firmly.

They failed to notice the pollen that came off the flower, landing on Darcy’s hand when she picked it up. And some landed on Loki too after he put it back.

Once the pair were back on the ship, Loki started heading back to Earth. Once they were on route, he put on autopilot and relaxed.

When he looked round at Darcy, he frowned. She was taking off her jumper, leaving her in just a vest top. ‘What are you doing?’ He asked.

‘Too hot. Have you turned the heating up or something?’ She wiped sweat from her forehead.

Loki glanced at the controls and shook his head. ‘No, the air con is on.’

Darcy leaned back in her chair, head back as she started breathing heavily. But then the heat started to seep deeper within her. It felt like every inch of her skin was starting to tingle, needing something…

‘Are you alright?’ Loki asked.

His voice sounded like smooth velvet to her all of a sudden. She snapped her head up and looked over at him, her eyes full of… lust. Which surprised and confused Loki.

Darcy felt her heart racing as she looked at Loki, properly taking him in. His thighs looked so lean and muscular under that leather. His lips looked so kissable… What the heck was wrong with her? She tried shaking it out of her head, this was Loki after all. Who she despised.

But then she suddenly felt it. A deep, hot, throbbing desire between her thighs. She groaned and started tugging at her vest top.

‘Darcy?’ Loki was concerned, but he was also very amused when she stood and pulled her vest top off, her bra came flying off next. Then she quickly unbuckled her belt and slipped her jeans off.

‘Well, I certainly wasn’t expecting a strip show on our journey home.’ Loki drawled, smirking.

‘I need you, Loki! Please!’ She whimpered and rushed to him, straddling over him quickly she started grinding down against him.

Loki was taken aback at first, arms out at the side in surprise. But then a smirk spread across his lips and he chuckled as he let his hands land on her back as she buried her face into his neck, kissing and nipping at his skin.

‘Since when did you desire me, Darcy Lewis?’ He hummed, trailing his fingers lightly up and down her spine, making her tremble under his touch. Making her feel a little better.

‘Hot… Too hot… Need you, please, Loki. Help me.’ She whined desperately, really pushing down against him. He couldn’t hold back a moan as he started to get hard under her. It got worse when Darcy reached down between them and started squeezing at his cock.

But then he started to feel it. He started feeling rather hot, at first like a hot flush. But then it manifested in the same way it did for Darcy. And suddenly he was painfully hard and desperate for a warm quim.

Loki groaned and slid his hand into her hair, wrapping it around his fist he yanked her head back, making her moan. He leaned forward and started attacking her neck, returning the favour of biting and sucking on her skin.

Loki stood up with Darcy’s legs wrapped around him as he slid his free hand down to support her by her bum. As he pressed her back against the wall, he had his own clothes vanish quickly.

Darcy reached down between them and grabbed hold of his cock, so hard and throbbing hot already. She guided him straight to her, she was so wet and aroused that as soon as the tip of him pressed into her, he slammed his hips forward and thrust into her nice and smoothly.

‘OH, GOD YES!’ Darcy screamed as her head fell back against the wall.

Loki started rutting into her roughly, his fingers bruising her ass as he held onto her tightly. They continued biting at one another at every opportunity while Loki bounced Darcy up and down on his cock.

‘Yes, yes, yes, yes!’ Darcy yelled as she came hard, clamping around him. But he kept thrusting into her, pushing through her tight wet walls. Filling her so good.

‘Oh, fuck!’ Loki grunted as he started cumming inside her, unable to stop himself from coating her insides.

They both thought that now they’d cum, their bodies might settle. Both of them had already registered in the back of their minds that it was to do with the flower they both touched. But Loki didn’t soften, at all. And Darcy was craving more, she still felt too hot, a deep fire within her that wasn’t put out yet.

Loki briefly pulled out of her, he was going to take her over to the chair but she had other ideas as she was suddenly mouth watering to taste him. She fell to her knees and took his cock in her mouth greedily, making him moan as he closed his eyes and let his head fall back.

She sucked him off as swiftly and efficiently as possible, taking him down her throat as far as she could and swallowing around him. When he came, she gobbled up as much as she possible could.

Loki hauled her back up to her feet by her hair and he hauled her over to the control panel at the front of the ship. He pushed her down and bent her over the panel. Giving her ass a swift smack, he thrust right back into her awaiting quim.

Her breasts pressed down on random buttons, but neither of them cared as Loki fucked her good and hard from behind. He folded himself down across her back, getting as much skin on skin contact as possible. The both of them were whimpering and moaning right up until they came together again.

And not for the last time.

They were both insatiable for most of the journey home. Eventually, their heats started to die out. Darcy was straddling over Loki, his cock snugly buried inside her. Every now and then she would squeeze him, making him spurt into her. They were both highly sensitive, it didn’t take much for either of them.

‘What… what the fuck was that?’ Darcy asked, leaning back against Loki’s chest. She was more of her own mind now, and part of her was telling her to get the hell off his cock. But another part of her really didn’t want to, it felt too good having him inside her.

Loki dragged his teeth along her shoulder, making her shiver. One of his hands was splayed across her stomach, the other he couldn’t resist gently playing with her nipples. She let her head fall back onto his shoulder.

‘I think that flower you picked had a certain… aphrodisiac, in its pollen.’ He hummed, enjoying the warmth and softness of her around his cock. Not to mention the right sticky mess they were in, constantly dribbling out of her down his cock.

‘Oh… Well, uh. That’s different.’ Darcy said quietly.

‘Indeed… Can’t say I am complaining though.’ He smirked.

‘Don’t get used to it, big guy.’ She huffed.

Loki chuckled and thrust up into her, making her whine and turn to utter putty again.

Well, maybe she could make a few exceptions here and there. The sex had been pretty mind blowing after all…

[agentnico]

The Suicide Squad (2021) Review

This may be the better of the two, but the first Suicide Squad film will always hold the crown for managing to win an Oscar... somehow.

Plot: The government sends the most dangerous supervillains in the world -- Bloodsport, Peacemaker, King Shark, Harley Quinn and others -- to the remote, enemy-infused island of Corto Maltese. Armed with high-tech weapons, they trek through the dangerous jungle on a search-and-destroy mission, with only Col. Rick Flag on the ground to make them behave.

“So that’s it, huh? We’re some kind of suicide squad?�� says Will Smith in the original first film, with the line in itself being a poor attempt at a fourth wall break, yet, that movie never reached that promise of being a true Suicide Squad film. Because hardly anyone died, and as a whole David Ayer’s film was a generic mess, regardless of studio interference or not. In comes James Gunn from Marvel, who seems to have cracked the code for how to bring this comic book series to live action in proper gratuitous form, with even the ‘The’ in the title symbolizing that this is the one!

I remember going to see the first Guardians of the Galaxy film at the cinema, and back then I was still only just getting acquainted with watching western media, and that included superhero films. Heck my first ever Marvel movie was Thor: The Dark World! I know, what a banger to start with.......NAAAWT!! Anyway, I went to see Guardians and it was one of the first superhero films I came out of feeling like I truly witnessed something special. It had action, comedy and a good heart to it, and wouldn’t you know, my good old pal James Gunn was behind that flick. I don’t know why I called him my good old pal, I don’t even know the fella. Except in my dreams, but we don’t talk about that. So, flashforward to Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, which I absolutely hated, and for that movie I’m pretty sure Marvel gave Mr Gunn mostly full reigns of creative freedom, as long as he kept it family friendly, and the result was a mess. Hence naturally now I was really sceptical when James Gunn ended up at Warner Bros. following the controversial moment when cancel culture decided to aim it’s slimy fingers at him, as he was given directing and writing duties for this new The Suicide Squad film, and also it was heavily insinuated that Warner Bros. basically told him he could do with the movie whatever the f*** he wanted, excuse my French. And we remember how it panned out last time when James Gunn was given a lot of creative freedom. 

Flashforward to present day; here I am wondering and scratching my head thinking what in the heavens has happened, as by golly I am happy to report that The Suicide Squad is a total winner and a blast with a capital B - Blast! Gosh goodness golly goblin, this movie is so much fun from beginning to end. Right from the opening sequence you know that this film isn’t holding back any punches. It’s going at a 447.19 km/h speed of a Koenigsegg Agera RS crashing through any barriers like it’s nothing. Speaking of the opening sequence, it establishes why the movie is called what it’s called from the get-go. You straight away are proven how not a single character is safe, minus the obvious one that we know who it is, as there ain’t no way Warner Bros. would have allowed James Gunn to kill off that one character. But besides that person, everyone else feels like they could die at any given moment. That’s really a big charm of it, as it is frustrating how in many superhero films, let alone any blockbuster action flicks, so many characters always feel so safe and unstoppable, no matter how many times they get shot or how many buildings crash down upon them. And yes, this movie features a certain CGI character that constantly gets that treatment and survives, although it’s very self aware in that regard and is purposefully humoristic. But overall the entire set of characters feel easily disposable, and so so many of them die in such gruesome fashion, so indeed don’t get attached, as they don’t. 

Speaking of which, this movie is hardcore gory! You see limbs and intestines flying round left and right, a guy gets ripped in half by a humanoid shark, another’s face gets teared off by a shotgun bullet and so on forth in all kinds of gruesome fashion. Visually this is one for the big screen, as here’s the thing: you’re either a mummy’s boy or you grow some cojones and go see a man’s heart get stabbed with a piece of debris glass in 4K high rate definition! Your choice! Oh, and it’s not just the violence, also the cinematography and the practical set pieces all look incredible. This is easily James Gunn’s best looking movie. The entire think LOOKS incredible!

We also have to talk about the cast, as they are all great! There literally isn’t a single weakling among them. Each one, no matter how big or small their role is, brings something to the table. I can’t talk about all of them, as we’d be here all day, so I’m simply going to mention a few of the stand-outs. Idris Elba comes in to replace Will Smith as a character called Bloodsport, who is in some ways a different character but evidently is a replacement of Smith’s. But that’s no bad thing, as with any ensemble movie you still need a main character to latch onto and have an emotional hook towards, and he is that character. In fact, I’d say he’s arguably better than Will Smith in the last movie, or at least he seems to be having more fun here. He works as a solid leading man, however what works even more is his banterous competitive genital-size-measuring back and forth with John Cena’s Peacemaker, who by the way is awesome as that character. He is not a good character, in fact he is as bad as a bad guy can get, especially cause he’s someone who believes that what he is doing is right, making him much more of a dangerous wild card. This is easily John Cena’s best role, with him adding to the comedy one-liners, but also delivering such an interesting character who I’m looking forward to seeing more of in his standalone spin-off show confirmed for next year. Oh, and he wears a toilet helmet on his head which he defines as “a beacon of freedom” which says it all. We also have returning characters from the last film Joel Kinnaman and Viola Davis as Rick Flag and Amanda Waller respectively, and both are given much more room to stretch their talents and spread their beautiful acting wings like the Hollywood angels that they are. Kinnaman’s Rick Flag is the moral compass of the group, as even though Elba is our main guy, he’s nonetheless a villain still, whilst Flag is a genuinely good guy and what is defined as a true American hero, to which Kinnaman fits the part well. And Viola Davis as Amanda Waller is on an absolutely different level. You can tell she’s an Academy Award winner through and through, as she plays such a serious character in an otherwise goofy movie, and so her presence is felt and it is felt BAD! She’s such a despicable yet intimidating personality and she gravitates all of the screen presence to herself. Margot Robbie returns as Harley Quinn, and she gets even more chance to develop this character that she’s played in multiple DCEU films now, and as per usual the Harley Quinn shtick works well for her, though I do kind of wish she didn’t always get all the attention. Look, I think she’s a fun character and Robbie plays her well, however she’s constantly used to overshadow others in these films which I don’t think is too fair, and its evident as ever in this film too. Anyway, the remainder of the cast including Jay Courtney as Captain Boomerang, David Dastmalchian as Polka-Dot Man, Michael Rooker as Savant, Nathan Fillion as TDK, Daniela Melchior as Ratcatcher 2 (who gave me strong A Plague Tale: Innocence vibes) and many more all play villains, but villains that don’t have particularly great superpowers. This is where the tragedy of Task Force X as a team plays a part, as many of these villains aren’t even good at being villains. They are useless, and the movie is really self aware of this and so treats all characters as they should be. Dare I also not forget to mention the CGI characters in this film, with both Weasel and King Shark being absolute scene stealers! 

The Suicide Squad is the type of wham-bam-thank-you-mam batshit crazy entertainment which exists for the pure reasons of fun. It doesn’t set out to be the best superhero film ever, nor does it need to be. It’s an exhilarating, shocking, funny and amusing ride from beginning to end, with the energy never stopping, and is easily the best time I’ve had with a comic-book film in a long while, and I’m even talking about before COVID! Do yourself a favour and watch this one as soon as you can, as I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - The Suicide Squad is a BLAST!!

Overall score: 9/10

[heres-pyrasaur]

Excuse me AA fandom, I have a legitimate question: why is shipping Gumshoe/Mia such a rare thing? I know it’s no one’s first thought when Gumshoe ships come up, but it could be cute. So cute. And it’s wild how rare this ship is considering how many times Gumshoe brings up that he likes Mia in canon! He’s practically asking us for fluffy art and wish fulfillment fanfic!

So please allow me, the author of 66% of the Gumshoe/Mia fics on AO3, to present some points in support of the thing:

Okay so even when AA1 was a one-shot game, Gumshoe thought highly of Mia. As seen in 1-2 if you ask Gumshoe twice about her:

Lot of folks miss that exchange, since double-checking statements isn’t generally a thing in AA1! She was a beautiful person, what a sweet thing to say.

In the 3-4 flashback, we see Gumshoe first meeting Mia and he apparently melted like ice cream on a hot day at the sight of her:

yes of course I had to include the part where Edgeworth scolds Gumshoe for simping. Anyway, after Gumshoe can’t handle looking upon this angel (big mood), he gets a hold of himself and answers Mia’s questions as honestly as he can without actively disobeying Edgeworth, consistently calling her “ma’am”. And then... it’s heavily implied he never talks to Mia again. :(

But! If you show Mia’s profile to Gumshoe during 3-5, two entire years after her death:

He’s got an.........interesting interpretation of that cross-examination, ok sure. But what the heck, Gumshoe liked and respected Mia so much that he still misses her years later, despite barely meeting her in life??? that’s adorable???

Mia, on the other hand, says in 2-2 that she barely remembers him:

To be fair, cross-examining Gumshoe was *delicate cough* not the most notable part of Mia’s first day in court? But hey, Mia did remember finding Gumshoe sympathetic! If she got to interact with him more, she’d probably quickly see his heart of gold.

Look, AA fandom, all I’m really saying is that there are a lot of interactions on the table for Gumshoe/Mia if you’re willing to bend canon slightly. If Mia was around the police station a lot, why the hell couldn’t she chat with Gumshoe for some reason? Or maybe Gumshoe could arrive at a crime scene location in time to save Mia from thugs? She’s less of a dingus than Phoenix but she could still get herself in trouble while investigating! Maybe Gumshoe notices that Mia works late at the office alone an awful lot, and she’s getting a lot of buzz lately for her lawyer stuff, so he quietly finds excuses to pass by Fey and Co. just in case? AU where Gumshoe is there to stop Redd White, and Mia can’t help swooning a little over the man who bodily defended her from her greatest enemy??

Whatever timeline/AU stuff needs to happen, Mia deserves a big strong teddy bear boyfriend who thinks she’s amazing! He takes an interest in stuff like her plant’s Latin name. He seems to like acts of service, so Mia would get all the favours and errands and cuddles and backrubs she wants. And Dick probably has a very large........ desire to help Mia with DL-6 because that might also help Mr. Edgeworth! :Dd

If you want to stick to canon-compliant stuff, IIRC Gumshoe doesn’t get to react to channelled Mia? He indicates in 3-4 that he doesn’t believe in ghosts, so it could be fun to let him see Maya channel Mia up close and register what’s happening. tfw you get to talk to your long-time crush but she’s dead?? On the other hand, you crashed your entire car to help rescue this crush’s little sister from a famous assassin, so that might merit a weird-but-nice conversation. Y’know, just normal lawyer fanfic stuff!

anyway, I hope this has inspired some folks to consider the all-but-untouched fannish potential that is Gumshoe/Mia, thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[magic-and-moonlit-wings]

Chapter 52: Adoption

Becoming The Mask

Bold italics are trollish. Although honestly, I'm thinking about doing away with them? At least in scenes where it's just trolls talking to each other and nobody is present who doesn't already understand trollish. And in scenes where multiple languages are in use, I could just indicate them with dialogue tags.

+=+

"Blinky," said AAARRRGGHH, "I want to talk. About Jim."

"Certainly. What about him?"

"Jim needs help. Support."

"… Do we not already support him as his trainers?"

"Not that kind, not for fighting and strategy. For … feelings. For belonging here."

"Support of a familial or parental nature, then."

"Yes. I think …" AAARRRGGHH trailed off, then started again. "Jim has a human family, but he is not human. Or, not only human?" Changelings were oddly in-between and AAARRRGGHH didn't know how exactly Jim thought of himself, species-wise. "Jim is a troll, too. So he needs a troll family, too. And deserves one."

"AAARRRGGHH." Blinky put his hands on AAARRRGGHH's forearm. "Are you absolutely sure you're not projecting? Thinking of things you wish you'd had when you joined us? Master Jim seems largely content with his relationships as they stand –"

"He's scared." No matter what exactly Jim was afraid of – Gunmar specifically or failure in general – he was definitely scared. "He needs support."

Maybe AAARRRGGHH was projecting, but – but he and Jim had both deserted the Gumm-Gumms, so AAARRRGGHH should have some idea how Jim was feeling about that, right? What the boy expected and feared for his future?

I can't afford to mess this up, Jim had said.

AAARRRGGHH wanted Jim to feel safe and welcome on Trollmarket's side, not convinced that rejection was looming if Jim didn't immediately and perfectly do everything asked of him.

"What did you have in mind, beyond what we're already doing?" Blinky asked.

+=+

"Master Jim." Blinky steepled his upper hands together and folded his lower arms behind his back. "AAARRRGGHH and I have been discussing your … place, within troll society. Namely, that you don't officially have one, outside your duties as Trollhunter."

Behind Blinky, AAARRRGGHH winced. Jim carefully did not.

"That isn't going to be acceptable in the long term."

Now AAARRRGGHH covered his face with his hand. "Blinky," he groaned.

"So, to that end … How would you feel about being adopted?"

Jim's jaw dropped. That was not the direction it had sounded like Blinky was going with this.

"By … you guys?"

"Yes," said AAARRRGGHH.

"It would present the widest range of options," said Blinky, "although it could be just one of us if you'd prefer."

Jim looked back and forth between them. AAARRRGGHH nodded.

"What exactly would this mean?" Jim asked.

"Well, first of all, you are not required to renounce any family you have already," Blinky assured him. "You would remain 'Jim Lake Junior, son of Barbara'. You would simply also have the options of introducing yourself as 'Jim, son of Aarghaumont' or 'Jim Galadrigal, son of Blinkous'."

Jim covered his mouth to hold in a laugh. Not only did he have access to Dictatious' library, now he was being offered use of Dictatious' family name? If the Dark Underlord's Counsel ever found out about this, there would be steam shooting out of his ears!

"You'd also be welcome to share our dwelling, should you choose to live in Trollmarket at some point, though of course you had a standing invitation to our dwell before this so that wouldn't change much," Blinky continued.

That was news to Jim, actually. He'd only ever been in their home with one of them there with him.

"Perhaps the most direct benefit is that, as members of your family, AAARRRGGHH or I would then have the right to intercede on your behalf in legal matters, such as if you were accused of a crime or offered some sort of contract."

"Like an adoption contract?" said Jim. Blinky chuckled.

"I suppose, yes."

"And what would my obligations be to you?" Where did they stand to benefit, other than potential 'legal intercession' if Jim tried to broker a business deal with someone? This deal sounded heavily slanted in Jim's favour.

"… You'd be expected to acknowledge us as your fathers, I suppose," said Blinky. "Adoptions are forged by mutual agreement unless the whelp is still too young at the time to understand what's going on."

"Family is … mew-chew-all care," AAARRRGGHH said. "You tell us, if hurt, or scared, or sad, and let us help."

Jim narrowed his eyes at AAARRRGGHH. Being vulnerable like that would be a heck of a concession.

Although, it wasn't like they were as good as Toby yet, at telling whether Jim was lying …

"I accept," Jim decided. "How do we, ah, seal the deal?"

+=+

Apparently trolls didn't have adoption papers. Jim was instead loudly reintroduced to various trolls around the marketplace – Bagdwella, Rot and Gut, Shmorkrarg, Tagaw, Neorbin, Plagsnork – as Blinky and AAARRRGGHH's son. The newly forged family was given many "congratulations" and one "whatever".

Krax seemed to be the only one concerned.

"You … do know humans don't tend to live more than a century?" he asked Blinky gently. "If that."

Blinky huffed and neatly sidestepped Jim's actual lifespan. "I assure you AAARRRGGHH and I discussed all possible concerns before approaching Jim."

Krax shook his head. "You're both braver trolls than I."

"Vendel!" cried Blinky, spotting the Elder across the pub. "AAARRRGGHH and I have exciting news!"

"You're finally getting married?" Vendel guessed dryly.

"Close!"

AAARRRGGHH nudged Jim forward. "Meet our son, Jim."

Vendel dropped his mug and coughed. He pounded on his chest a few times and cleared his throat. "I see."

"We've adopted him," said Blinky boastfully.

"Yes, I inferred as much," Vendel said. "Well, congratulations, I suppose." He gave Jim a little nod. "Welcome to Trollmarket, Jim Galadrigal."

"Thank you, Vendel."

+=+

The Soothscryer rumbled into position the moment Jim set foot in the Hero's Forge.

"Oh, sure, now you guys wanna talk to me."

He climbed the statue and put his hand in its mouth, which still unsettled him. The room around him went dark and blue, stars lighting the ceiling.

"Jim!"

Even if he'd heard that voice before, the happy tone would've made it hard to recognize. The Ghost Council was not usually pleased with him.

A spectral troll faded into existence and held out four arms as though for a hug.

"Welcome to the family, youngling!"

"What?"

"Blinkous hasn't gotten around to teaching you about me yet, and I'm sure Dictatious had the sense not to endanger himself mentioning a Trollhunter ancestor," the ghost said casually. "I'm your great-great-grandfather, Araknak Galadrigal. More famously known as Araknak the Agile. I was the Trollhunter after Maddrux the Many, I know you've heard of them."

"Uh, maybe?" The name sounded familiar but Jim couldn't place it.

"The Battle of Doomscavern," said another ghost, who didn't bother manifesting beyond a flicker of floating light.

"Oh, right." Jim had read that one out loud, months ago, for Blinky to test his trollish literacy (and deliberately messed part of it up so Blinky wouldn't realize how literate Jim was).

"I've been keeping an eye on my descendants as best I can, though the Amulet," said Araknak. "Very happy Blinkous decided to adopt you! If my parents' ghosts were in here, they'd be so excited. With that scholastic mind of yours, you were obviously meant to be a Galadrigal."

"Says the troll who became a warrior because he didn't think he was fit for academics," sneered another ghost light.

"Says the troll who became a warrior because he didn't think he was fit for academics," sneered another ghost light.

"I could outwit you any day, Spar!" Araknak snapped. To Jim, he added, "I was, in the human terms, an odd duck. My parents were proud of me anyway. They used to follow me around to watch me fight things. I suppose you should expect that from Blinkous twice over, now."

"I guess."

Jim climbed down from the Soothscryer but didn't take Araknak up on that hug he still had his arms open for. The ghost shrugged his upper shoulders and let his arms fall.

"So, since I'm here," said Jim, "do you have any advice about the Triumbric Stones?"

Deya the Deliverer manifested beside Araknak. Jim recognized her from her displayed body, and a few illustrations.

"If you ever meet Merlin, punch him in the face," she ordered Jim. "This could've ended a lot sooner if he'd just given the stones to the Trollhunter instead of hiding them."

"In fairness, that might've been Tellad-Urr the Terrible," said Araknak.

"No," said a different Trollhunter, Jim wasn't sure which one, "if one of the stones is Gunmar's Eye, it would've been Deya, because that happened when he usurped Orlagk."

Deya growled and punched her palm. "I should've hit the wizard harder, then."

"So aside from punching Merlin," Jim said.

Deya cut him off. "The Eye is Gunmar's blind spot. Your armour got dimmer when your dad was carrying you back to the library the other day, so you weren't as easy to spot. See if you can go full invisible."

"It wouldn't have activated in the Forge because you weren't trying to hide from anyone there," added Araknak. "Maybe in a sparring match, but not with just the equipment."

Deya chuckled. "Unless you, what's the term, Epic Failed and were so embarrassed the invisibility kicked in."

Jim's heart sped up with excitement. "I have a stealth mode now? That's perfect! I mean, not super useful against Gunmar unless I'm back in the Darklands, but, for other things!"

"Yeah, I would've loved a stealth mode at your age," Deya agreed.

"… I'm in my four-hundreds," said Jim, suspecting Deya was misreading him as an adolescent or younger child rather than a young adult.

"I know. My four-hundreds sucked."

Araknak folded three of his arms together and tapped his chin with his upper hand. "That's right, you were Jim's age when you started trying to re-enter troll society, weren't you?"

Deya kicked him. Araknak shrunk down to a wisp of light before her foot could connect. Deya smacked him in the back of the head when he reformed.

"I deserved that," Araknak admitted easily.

Jim was confused. He'd heard and read a few stories about Deya, but all of them were about her time as a Trollhunter.

"Were you … temporarily banished, or something?"

"I was raised by humans," said Deya. "Kinda like you were, except they knew I was a troll."

"You're a Changeling too?!" asked Jim eagerly. No wonder her pre-Trollhunter life was undocumented –

"Nah. It's just a thing that happened sometimes. Fleshbags can't exactly tell Gumm-Gumms and any other trolls apart, so they'd attack our villages in, what'd they call it, 'pre-emptive self-defence'. Sometimes they'd keep a whelp or two alive as an exotic pet."

"Oh." Well, that was sickening. Not shocking, considering everything Jim knew about human history, but sickening.

"That's probably how Morgana got troll whelps to experiment on in the first place before she allied with the Gumm-Gumms," Deya continued.

Jim growled reflexively at Deya's insulting tone when speaking of the Pale Lady, but her hypothesis did seem likely. Although Morgana hadn't successfully developed the Changelings until after making her alliance with Orlagk the Oppressor, she had been experimenting with transmuting living stone into flesh and back again for centuries prior to that.

"Anyway, I escaped after a couple hundred years, and met trolls again when I was about your age, but obviously I didn't really fit in anymore, and I didn't luck into an adoption. I didn't even know my real name until the Amulet called me a few centuries later."

Jim cringed in sympathy.

"Then I soundly thrashed anyone who doubted me, killed a bunch of monsters, punched a wizard, saved the world, and became one of the most revered Trollhunters ever, the end."

"You forgot leading the migration to this Heartstone and founding a new Trollmarket," said Araknak.

"That part was honestly super tedious."

"True."

"Hey!"

"We were all watching, remember? The peace was refreshing at first, but the squabbles you were called to resolve …"

Araknak and Deya both shuddered.

"Worst part of being the Trollhunter."

"And how."

Jim was only half-listening now, trying to visualize himself translucent like the ghosts. Hide me, hide me …

He watched his hands. They weren't fading away. The fingertips of his gauntlets might have gotten a little darker?

The memory-replay-cloud, or vision-window, or whatever it was, appeared, showing Jim on AAARRRGGHH's back. Jim studied the image.

The silver parts of his armour had a greenish tinge, which might have just been a reflection of AAARRRGGHH's fur colour, and the blue light from the plates' etchings had faded out.

The black scale mail, visible here and there at the joints and gaps where armour plates met, was maybe a little closer to gray than black? The image was a bit washed-out, though. But it would make sense in a stealth mode, because gray blended into the shadows better than a true black.

"So that's another benefit to stealth," said Deya brightly. "People can't find you to ask you to deal with petty stuff."

+=+

While walking home, Jim considered who to tell, and how to tell them, about his new relatives.

His human friends should know, of course, because they spoke to Blinky and AAARRRGGHH regularly. They'd all be happy for him.

Enrique might get jealous, but if Claire knew, then he was likely to find out, so Jim should probably take the initiative of telling him.

Nomura, he probably should not tell. Jim's experiences with Trollmarket were basically the opposite of hers – or so the gossip chain implied; it wasn't like she ever confided in him about it personally – so she'd probably get bitter. A bitter Nomura was a violent Nomura.

Stricklander would probably find it hilarious. Jim's infiltration of Trollmarket had exceeded expectations in all regards.

(Hopefully he'd find it funny … Jim had some time to work out exactly how to tell him, at least.)

Jim was so concerned with how his fellow Changelings might react, it did not occur to him to worry about how his mother would feel.

+=+

"What were you doing in Trollmarket today?" Barbara asked, cutting up her steak.

"AAARRRGGHH and Blinky adopted me," said Jim brightly. Barbara dropped her cutlery. "It's mostly a bureaucratic thing, to give me a place in Trollmarket besides of my job. Jim Galadrigal might have a say in discussions that Jim Lake Junior wouldn't even be allowed to listen in on."

If Barbara had taken a bite already she might've choked on it. Jim had gotten adopted? He'd changed his name? What next, was he going to move into Trollmarket full-time?

She blinked quickly to avoid tearing up. Jim reached over but stopped before touching her hand.

"How could you make a decision that big without telling me?" she demanded. "I know, I know, you're technically an adult and don't need permission, but – this is a big deal, Jim! You could've at least told me before you said yes."

Oh, my God, I've become my mother. That was nearly what her mom had said when Barbara called to say she was spending a semester in Rome.

"Do you …" Oh, no, the tears were coming. "Do you not see me as a mom anymore?"

Jim gasped.

"This doesn't – Blinky said, troll adoption doesn't mean cutting any ties you had before," he said. "And, I, I didn't want to push it, but, I don't really know how you feel about me. Now that you know what I am."

AAARRRGGHH and Blinky know what I am, and offered me a place in their home, and you found out what I was and kicked me out, was unspoken, but Barbara heard it loud and clear.

She grabbed her son's hand, still on the table so close to hers.

"You've been my son for sixteen years – I'm sorry I took the truth as badly as I did but I swear I didn't just stop caring about you. And I should've told you that sooner, but I didn't know how you felt about me, either. Did – did you ever see me as a mom? Or just some human you were playing house with to keep your cover?"

"What?!" Both Jim's hands were on Barbara's now. They had a crushing grip on each other and were staring straight into each other's eyes. Jim's eyes glowed red. He was tearing up, too. "Mom – Mom, I got so, so attached. I'm not, I wasn't, supposed to be, but ��� it's an open secret for Changelings, we always get attached to our host families. You mean the world to me."

Almost as quickly as it exploded, the tension in the room started to drain away.

"I guess we should've talked about that sooner," Barbara admitted. "In … in the interests of full disclosure, I've been scared to bring it up. As long as I didn't ask, I wouldn't have to hear … an answer I didn't want to hear."

"Same," said Jim. He looked like he was trying to smile; with his red eyes and the tear-tracks on his upper cheeks it came across rather like a grimace. "So … we're still a family?"

"We're still a family."

"Finally!" barked Draal from the basement. "Now you can stop shying away from each other."

Barbara jumped as their lodger reminded her of his existence. Jim blinked and his eyes turned blue again. They both laughed.

Barbara made a mental note to check out some of those family therapy books at the library again. She doubted anything had been written about her specific situation – "I recently found out I had adopted my child, who has now also been adopted by someone else, and I don't know what to feel about that second part" – but at least there should be some advice on 'communication with your teenager'. And maybe 'co-parenting'.

+=+

Previous Chapter (Jim fights Blango for the Killstone)

Table of Contents

Next Chapter (Claire and Not Enrique debate his name)

Jim and Barbara's talk was supposed to drag out a lot longer and have more tension, for the first part since neither of them really wanted to be the one to bring this up and for the second part because there was a lot of emotional ground to cover, but then feelings got intense and they both blabbed quickly.

I've got some new ideas, based on Wizards – some of them are here in Deya's backstory – but I think I'll wait until the movie comes out before fully updating the fic's outline again. As I believe I've said before, I am not keeping all of it; I've gotten a few comments asking if I'll be incorporating aspects of Wizards into this story, and my answer remains "some but not all". (For example, this timeline continues to have Trollhunters prior to Deya.)

Some elements from the spinoff novels and comics appear in this chapter: Araknak the Agile being an ancestor of Blinky's (though the exact generations were not spelled out in that comic), Barbara spending a semester studying in Rome, and Shmorkrarg being a common trollish name.

[realm-sweet-realm]

Sammy x Joey for 31

31: “I own you”

This prompt also uses the line, ���your heart is racing,” which was requested by @threadedsafetypin for Norman and Sammy. (Sorry, I don’t know how to do the “put image of the ask in another ask” thing.)

---

Norman was a professed lover of drama and mysteries, and Joey Drew Studios was full of them. He’d learned all kinds of things from their loose-lipped janitor, and just by knowing the right places to stand out of sight but within earshot. A few months ago, Norman would have laughed any time he heard his fellow worker speculate as to what all the new machinery was for. Norman knew. He knew and he knew it would never come to fruition, because how could such a thing happen outside a cheesy horror flick?

And then it did. Everyone had heard the ink machine roar to life, but Norman believed he was among the only ones to have seen the beast trapped in the infirmary. The machine worked, it was dangerous, and that worried Norman, because he’d gotten invested in the people he’d watched every day, the same way one might get invested in the characters in a book. He wanted their safety- especially the one he’d found out was meant to be their first target- Susie Campbell.  

Of course, nothing would stop Joey Drew short of murder. But maybe if he could get through to Sammy Lawrence, Sammy could get through to her. In order to do that, though, he’d have to become the biggest devil in Sammy’s life- and lord knew that would be a challenge.

His plan started by pick-pocketing Joey’s keys from him and leaving them on Sammy’s desk.  Not while Sammy was around, of course. Norman had overheard a conversation of theirs in which Sammy had expressed a desire for his own keys to the very basement floor (a place so secret and mysterious that not even Norman could guess at its purpose). Sammy had framed it as being about trust and respect, but with the way Joey always kept the magic stuff vague to Sammy, Norman had the sense that Sammy wanted to make sure he wasn’t being lied to.

Of course, the plan would fall apart if Sammy chose not to take the opportunity Norman provided him. And, hidden in a room near the elevator just a while after everyone else had gone home, it started to feel ridiculous. Sure, he’d feel awful about letting Susie die, but...

Sammy passed by the door, and Norman yanked him in by the arm. The office door slammed shut behind him, and big, brown hands wrapped tight around his arms. Sammy’s heart stopped until he realized that Norman was the one who’d pulled him in and not Joey.

“Okay, what the hell?” Sammy yelled at him.

“Sorry about this. But we need to have a little talk. I’m going to let you go, let you take a seat, alright?”

“Fine,” Sammy grumbled. Norman slowly let go of his wrists. Unfortunately, Norman was blocking the door, so Sammy couldn’t just make a run for it. He sat down on the chair, resigned to whatever Norman had planned for him. And tomorrow, he’d report him to Joey for inappropriate behaviour.

“Alright. Now, I want you to stop doing what you’re doing with Joey Drew. I don’t know all the details of what you’re doing, but I know enough. I know it involves Susie Campbell, and I’m gonna tell you right now that if you hurt her, you’re going to regret it. And then I’ll find out and make you regret it more. You hear? And I’m sorry that I have to do this through threats, but you see, I know that Joey Drew is a devil in your life, and the only way to get you to listen to me instead of him is to be a bigger devil.”

Sammy stayed quiet a moment. “Are you done?”

“Can you tell me that she’ll be safe?”

“No. This might surprise you, but Joey is going to have plans for her regardless of if I participate or not. And while we’re here, I might not be with Susie anymore, but you need to stop watching her. It’s creepy enough when you eavesdrop on men, but when it’s women...” Sammy shuddered. “And aside from that, Joey isn’t a devil in my life! At least, after last night he won’t be.”

“What happened last night?”

“Why would I tell you?”

“Because you desperately want to tell someone.”

Sammy grumbled about Norman using his powers on him, then he told Norman everything.

---

Joey and Sammy were in the basement, learning to preserve and hide corpses from a book on the occult that Joey had bought (from where Sammy had no idea). Sammy wondered idly how what started out as a relatively innocuous hobby had led him to this. And yet, it did still fascinate him, and this was a necessary part of the process.

“It says that the formaldehyde will have to cool for ten minutes before it’s ready,” Joey said. “I guess this is a good time to bring up the other thing I wanted to. Sammy, I’m sorry for being so... uptight lately. I don’t want to be laying down all these rules for you to make sure you don’t stray, and I’m sure you don’t like them, either. So, I came up with a way to put my suspiciousness to rest forever! After this, all the rules will be gone! I’ll let you talk to whoever you want- gay men, single women, whoever! Heck, break up with me and go smooch someone else! And I’ll tell you about anything Satanism-related that you want! You see, I might like your body, but I care infinitely more that you’re loyal to me and what we’re creating together. You just have to accept a little favour from me first.”

"And what would that be?” Sammy asked, heavily suspicious.

“Well, you see- a while ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. I used a Satanic ritual to make me healthy again- it worked within a couple days. But it didn’t just make me healthy- it made me glow. Made me look and feel as young and energetic as I’ve ever been. I barely had to sleep. Whenever I tried to come off of them, though, I couldn’t. Even going a week without it made me so weak that I had to buy a cane to get around, and a week after that I was so sick that I could barely complete the ritual again- but I felt great again immediately afterwards and I haven’t tried to quit since. Now, the treatment is expensive, but I’ll pay for it. If you’re truly dedicated to this, I’ve just offered you a guarantee of health and youthfulness for the rest of your days. And it’s painless, I promise- we could do it together in my office every morning. The quitting part shouldn’t matter to you. So just do it, and I’ll never doubt your dedication again for as long we live.”

---

“...And you went through with it.”

“Of course I did! He offered me a blessing! I would have wanted to stay with him anyhow! There was no price for me!”

“Sorry, but no. Sammy, you yell like that when you’re wound up. You are terrified. Your heart is racing. You’re shaking like a leaf, and your eyes are the size of plates. That’s not me using my so-called powers- that’s me using my eyes.”

Sammy looked aside. “Fine. I guess a part of me knew that it was just him saying ‘I own you’ in a different way. But... it’s a better way. More convenient.”

Norman wished he could comfort him. “I’m gonna leave you with one more thing to think on. It sounds like Joey had been taking that spell for weeks when he tried coming off of it. You’ve had it what- once? Maybe if you stop now, there’s still hope.” Norman stepped away from the door. “Go. Sorry I can’t help you.”

Sammy got up and left without a word.

---

It was Thursday night and Norman had come home after work. He was just helping his wife out in the kitchen when he heard a knock at the door. It was Sammy holding a handgun in one hand and a piece of paper in the other.

“HOLY MOTHER OF JESUS!” Norman yelled as he knocked the gun out of Sammy’s hand and then kicked it aside.

“Believe it or not, I’m not here to murder you,” Sammy growled, handing him the piece of paper. It read:

I’ve decided that I don’t want to live under Joey’s control anymore. He’s expecting me to meet up with him tonight to help with Susie’s ritual. Thanks to him, I know how to hide a body, but I could really use your help in making sure she’s not the one who dies tonight.

"I’m proud of you, Sammy. Let me get my coat.”

[hedgefairy]

Okay, I know, I know, it's already old news, everybody and their uncle in the costuming community has already talked it over, but anyhoo, I made notes when I crawled my way through effing Bridgerton and I will be damned if I don't vomit them onto this site. I have 32 pages of this shit, I'm not gonna throw that away.

I'm also typing this on my phone because I'm stuck on a trainride that's just doubled in length because this is the 2021 Northern German snow storm. What, there's snowflakes on the rails? We cannot possibly keep up our schedule, say goodbye to 90% of the connections.

Okay, on to Bridgerton, Episode 1

We're in Britain (oh, London, okay), allegedly 1813. I see people who are clearly meant to be asympatico, but is this size incusivity I spot there? Daring! Gasp! Me li...

Oh wait, no. The character is promptly shamed for her figure (which is mostly caused by the horrible cut of her dress. Every size can look great in Regency garb, but never mind, we need to make the "fat one" look bad!).

Also, no shifts under the stays. Why. There was obviously enough budget, don't tell me you couldn't afford a few strappy tops - it's not like the rest is historically accurate, so it would have sufficed to send some poor underpaid intern to H&M and get some. Nvm, that wouldn't be sexay.

Wait, is the garishly dressed (always a sign of a character of bad character in a costume drama) woman Delphine from Selfridge? Does she always have to play bitches? That's not nice, and just because she has a recognisable face, which by modern (read: americanised) standards is not favourable enough. Ugh. But I like the actress, so I'll let it slide (for now).

Lol, buttocks.

Not sure about the girls' dresses. Also, the Queen is a WOC, cool!

Oh no, one of the Featherington sisters faints! But that's okay because the Featheringtons are just comic relief and foil anyway.

I get weird incest vibes from the Bridgertons.

So the court is clearly 18th century and the show is set in the 1810s. I've by now seen several explanations for this decision, I still think it robs the Queen of reproductions of her actual historical gowns which were heavily inspired by the 18th century but so. Magnificently. Weird. It would have been so neat, and more of a "hey, I'm kinda out of touch with things" vibe, but hey, I'm not the one getting paid for making those taffeta gowns here (her hair is glorious, tho).

I'm very into the intro.

That Regency gossip girl is a real b, not unlike the Dowager Countess of Downton (unpopular opinion, I think she's pretty overrated, yes, I like Maggie Smith).

Again, no shifts.

Where do I know the "pragmatic" Bridgerton sister from? Ah, it's The Paradise. And Jonathan Strange. (Wait, she's my age. And she's supposed to be a teenager. Man, do I love a good Dawson casting. I like the actress, though, she has a face ™!).

Aaaah. We get it. She's the spirited one. She also doesn't care about dresses because she's not like other girls™. I really like her voice (but she still doesn't sound like a teenager).

The heck is up with Lady F's dress and that of her friend? Oh, yeah. Antagonist fashion.

Of course the Featheringtons are Horrid Hags™ aside from Penny who's nice, but the pudgy one (at least we don't get a case of "she's not conventionally attractive so she's bad").

Oooh, the cousin! Supposed to suck, but ofc she's a stunner, and only Penny (who's the nice one, remember!) is delighted to have her around. She's also a POC, which is nice but apparently that means she does not follow fashion, hair-wise. I would have loved to see some Regency hair on her, it would have been so pretty *cries in Greek updo*

Ugh, we're still in Ep. 1, typing this on my phone was a bad idea.

Lady Danbury and the Duke guy are delightful with each other (more POC! So neat!).

The girl the oldest Bridgerbro screws is apparently a singer, which isn't up to status for his doucheship, and she doesn't wear a shift.

The music at the ball sounds like something from the Top 40s, but I'm woefully ignorant of contemporary music charts so I can't tell what it is. I like it when they do that in historical-ish works, making well-known pop or rock stuff work for the ambience (ugh, that dance scene to Golden Years in Knight's Tale. My heart. In a good way.)

I dig the Ducktail hair of Penny's crush. Oh, wait, that's a Bridgerbro. I don't quite get why the hair trends of the time don't apply to the POC characters or extras, but seeing how most white characters also show a shameful disregard for the weirdnes and gloriosity (that's not a word) that is early 1800s hair (the 1830s take the cake, tho) despite those hairdos being basically designed for white people hair, I don't think I care much (well, I do, but about all of them). Overall the hair is horrid and not very 1810s. Let's just leave it at that.

Like a good old romance novel (I've since been told that Bridgerton is supposed to be a pastiche of such novels, but I really couldn't tell from the series, not at all, and I'm not inclined to read the books) we have

a pretty, kind, superpure daughter of the main family

the mean matriarch (could have been an aunt, too, but here she's the mum) of the rivalling or antagonist family

a spirited daughter of the main family (in most romance novels this would be our heroine but so far she refreshingly lacks a love interest and pretty daughter seems to get the most screen time)

a Horrid Suitor™

a Hot Suitor™ who doesn't want attention

a really good and doting good parent

Lol, misheard Greece for Grease with Ducktail Bridgerbro, whose name is Colin, apparently. This is funny because of his Danny Zuko memorial hair.

Overall a bit too much bling for my taste, and too few pearls. It looks like an episode of My Super Sweet Sixteen with a Regency theme.

Of course the romance is going to be the Pretty One aka. Daphne and the Duke and he's even bros with her eldest bro. Wait, are they exes? I can haz bi? No? Aww, shucks. Maybe in another episode (spoiler: no).

Okay, WHAT is it with Lady F's dresses and hair. Like, she reminds me of Mars Attacks. Which, as you might remember, was not set in the Regency period.

Lord B (Bridgerbro the Eldest) sucks, he's screwing Opera Girl without any intention of marrying her but he's bitchy about his sister being ogled by his Eton (or wherever) bestie?

Oh, I'm in Hamburg now. And my train back home got canceled, so back to Berlin it is because there's not a single option to get to Hanover tonight, at least that's what the lady from the train station is saying, "oh well, you'll have to go back and try again tomorrow", so that's awesome...

Honestly, if it weren't so late and I didn't have things to do at home I'd find this terribly exciting.

Back to Bridgerton!

Where were we? Ah.

I can't even read my own annotation. Something about George III. I think I was upset about how they totally ignored that it's called Regency because George IV acted as the regent king, and he doesn't even feature in the series, I guess because they wanted to play up the Queen? Not a fan, because thanks to Horrible Histories I'm quite fond of that guy.

Again, no shifts.

Oh, look, it's Horrid Suitor™, destined for leftovers.

The Featherington cousin gets all the attention but no fleshed-out character.

Penny Featherington's dog is named Lord Byron, which ❤️

I like the Duke! He's there, drinking in his club (even though they're a patriarchal remnant of the past I have a weird appreciation for stuffy Gentlemen's Clubs, I blame Bertie Wooster and the Drones), calling Lord B out for his general fuckery.

Oh no, Ducktail Colin is more into the Cousin than Penny, who obviously pines for him!

Thank you, Lord B, for enabling Horrid Suitor™. Nobody asked you to be such a fucktwit.

The Queen is, of course, a bit of a bitch, but patronage from cool Lady *scrolls up for name* Danbury ensues for Protagonist Girl™ Daphne.

"I wish they had found a better trend language", what the heck did I even mean by that? That's what you get for just scribbling down notes while watching and simultaneously sewing. 18th century pants, in case you wanted to know.

Cousin is angry, probably because Lady F behaves like Cinderella's evil stepmother, because Cousin is prettier than her daughters and gets, like, all the suitors because Lord B bitched away everyone who wanted to get into Daphne's dowry ifyouknowwhatImeanwinkwinknudgenudge, right across the street into Cousins parlour.

The Bridgertons are annoyingly perfect. Ugh.

Oh look, it's "banter" between Daphne and Dukey! It's so Pride & Prejudice! It's almost a tiny bit Shakespeare! I put banter in parentheses because wow, nope, I'm not getting any chemistry here.

Uh, Lady B calls out Lord B (aka. her son aka. Bridgerbro the Eldest) for his screwery with Opera Girl and his outpimpery of his sister to Horrid Suitor™, buuuurrrrrnnn. He promptly calls of his affair with Opera Girl.

No shifts!

Penny gets to dance with Ducktail Colin at the thing! Good for her, but it's a country dance with jumping and fun, because she's a) the pudgy character and b) a Featherington, so it can't be something romantic and pretty (I personally like country dances, but they aren't protagonist dances).

Oooh, Cousin had her period, oh no, oh snap, oh she didn't, because she's PREGNANT! Shit, that's problematic, and not because she's an unmarried woman in the 1810s, but because she gets close to no lines at all so far, and suddenly she's pregnant and telling Lady F that she sucks for being privileged, violence ensues, this is ugly. Man, I get what some critics mean by "the POC actors*actresses get all the problems" and that not exactly being great.

Horrid Suitor™ makes property claims about Daphne, eeewwwww, thanks to Lord B's general suckiness, ewww, r@pe attempt ensues, was that really necessary? It doesn't really fit in with the rest of the series and generally nope, yay, broken nose! (which was indeed totally necessary). Nice one, and probably the only scene so far (spoiler: overall) in which I actually like Daphne. Dukey thinks a mean left hook is attractive, and, generally speaking, he's not wrong.

Daphne and Dukey come up with a pseudo-shakespearean plot to pretend to be totally into each other so she can attract suitors by being not available and he gets not to have fangirls by being not available, and as someone who has read a few too many historical-ish bodice rippers I know exactly where this is going. I mean, come on.

I can't see enough of the following choreography to complain about it. Man, I miss historical dance classes.

And that concludes Ep. 1! Finally! Thank you for getting this far, sorry for all of it (especially typos, it's the bane of unwanted autocorrect), I guess?

Update on the train situation: I've been told by the ticket control person that I shouldn't get my hopes up until noon tomorrow.

To be continued,

because I didn't take these 32 pages of notes for nothing.

[green-eyed-whumpster]

My OC Universe: Rowan 119

Chapter 119 Summary: Rowan is grateful for Peter’s company during the night and receives another letter from his father. While spending some time out in the snow he is reunited with an old friend. (Taggy New Year: @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi, @much-ado-about-whumping, @abitefullofeverything, @whump-me-all-night-long, @sky-or-something-idfk and @tears-and-lilies)

Trigger Warnings: PTSD whumpee, one hecking cliffhanger...

When Rowan woke up in the morning, he had rolled onto his stomach, and his arms were still holding Peter’s arm tightly against his chest. He could have stayed like that far longer than he did, but Peter hadn’t been able to move in the odd embrace and Rowan felt awful for pinning him down like that.

As he shifted to release and return the limb Peter rolled onto his back as well, before his eyes flicked open and he met Rowan’s gaze.

“Oh, good morning,” He smiled softly and shifted so he was propped up on the pillow. “Did you sleep any better?”

“Yes, thank you,” Rowan muttered. “But what about you? Did I disrupt your sleep?”

“Only a little,” Peter admitted, stretching out his arm. “But I didn’t mind, I was glad I could keep you content.” He knew Rowan would be upset by the information, but he also knew that the boy would know he was lying if he did.

“I’m so sorry!” He gasped. “I-I didn’t mean to hurt yo – “

“It’s fine,” Peter cooed, gently resting his palm on Rowan’s cheek. “If I was really bothered, I could have taken it back at any time, I chose to stay, it isn’t your fault. All right?” Rowan nodded reluctantly and Peter smiled at him. “Good, I’m happy you slept easier.”

“Well, still let me make you some tea,” Rowan insisted as he sat up and Peter reached out to stop him. “No, it’s good to return favours, you let me sleep with your arm, I’ll go and make your tea.” Rowan interrupted and Peter held up his hands in defeat, smiling slightly.

“Thank you, Rowan,” He grinned as the boy scrambled out of bed. “It’s still very kind of you.”

As Rowan readied the utensils Olivia came to stand beside him, ears perked and hackles twitching. It was strange seeing her like this, but Rowan doubted there was any danger, she had probably heard a lump of snow fall from the roof, or a squirrel crunching through the ice. He loved going out in the morning if the day was clear and seeing the animal tracks in the fine layer of powder in their clearing. Peter had begun showing him which tracks belonged to which animals, he doubted the skill would be useful to him, since he was afraid of killing the animals, but it was still fun to be able to point out the different creatures.

Olivia ran to the door and began pawing at it, Rowan let her outside and watched as she raced down the veranda and began grumbling at a figure who was cautiously approaching the cottage.

“Olivia, it’s all right,” Rowan said nervously, taking a few steps outside to meet the person.

“I have a letter,” He said, holding up the parchment to Rowan.

“Of course, I’m sorry about her.” He said, bouncing down the steps and landing in the snow as he took the letter. “She isn’t dangerous, I promise, she’s just protective.”

“It’s all right,” The man said. “I’ve dealt with worse,” Rowan wondered what could be worse than an angry guard dog but didn’t say anything and looked down at the parchment in his hand.

“Thank you, for this,” He said and the man nodded easily.

“Have a nice day.”

Peter was coming out of the room when Rowan shut the door behind him, he had heard the voices and was worried about whoever was here and talking to Rowan. The boy looked up and smiled at him when he realised and held out the letter.

“It was just a postman,” He explained and Peter nodded.

“Oh, good, and you handled it yourself?” He asked, walking over.

“Yeah, it wasn’t too hard,” Rowan shrugged, giving the letter to Peter.

“Good job!” Peter looked at the title on the paper and held it back to Rowan. “This is for you,”

“Oh,” Rowan opened it and swallowed heavily, his eyes moved slowly over the words as his lips moved to copy them out silently.

“Are you having any trouble?” Peter asked as his eyebrows furrowed deeply and Rowan shook his head.

“Only a little,” He admitted, glancing up and relaxing his features. “But I’m trying.”

“Good, you’re already doing so well,” Peter smiled encouragingly.

“Would you mind reading it as well? Just to make sure I understood everything,” Rowan asked, holding out the letter.

“Sure,” Peter took it and began scanning the words. “John’s really happy that you came, and he was able to tell you about Lucille,” He began, and Rowan nodded. “The children liked you a lot and Amelia would love to get to know you if you’re willing,” Rowan nodded again, and Peter smiled. “He liked me and trusted that I wouldn’t let you be hurt,” Rowan blushed as his head bobbed agreeably. “And he’d love to see you again whenever you’re comfortable.” Peter looked up from the note and Rowan finished nodding to meet his eye. “You understood all that?”

“Yeah,”

“Good job! I’m so proud.” Peter smiled and Rowan shrugged softly.

“Um, let-let me get that tea,” He murmured and moved over to the fireplace as Peter chuckled.

~

“Are you going outside?” Peter asked after they had eaten lunch and Rowan began putting on jackets.

“I want to go play in the snow,” Rowan shrugged shyly. “Olivia likes eating it.”

“It’s all right if you do!” Peter smiled, stacking away the plates they used in the cupboard. “Just make sure to come inside when you get cold,” He turned to face Rowan and surveyed the boy’s profile, significantly rounder with the many layers he put on. “I’m going to have a nap, call me if anything happens.”

“Did I stop you from sleeping?” Rowan asked timidly and Peter shook his head.

“It’s fine, there’s nothing wrong with curling up on a snowy day just because you feel like it,” He argued. “As long as you slept better while I was there,” Rowan was reluctant to admit that he had, that Peter’s presence had been really soothing while he slept.

“Are you sure?” He asked.

“Absolutely.” Peter confirmed. “It isn’t like there’s much for me to do while it’s so snowy outside,” Rowan smiled a little and pulled on the woollen cap Peter had given him when it first got colder.

“All right,” He said as Peter stepped closer and fixed the red waves under the cover.

“Don’t wander too far,” He warned, smiling as he tightened Rowan’s scarf. “Have fun.”

Olivia bounced through the calf-high snow as Rowan collected handfuls just to press them into snowballs. He sat in the snow and tucked his legs beneath him as he sunk into the ground. Hopefully Olivia wouldn’t get too cold, but he would be happy to let her inside if she got tired. He made a nice little stack of the snowballs, he didn’t really know what to do with them but he liked the action. The wool was nice because it wouldn’t get wet easily, so he could hang out for a long time before the chill soaked through to his skin.

Olivia suddenly began growling as Rowan threw himself onto his back to create a human-shaped hole and he turned his head to face her, even though he only saw crisp snow before him.

“Hush, Olivia,” He smiled, feeling the cool air sink over his face. “You won’t catch them,” Sometimes she would catch sight of a squirrel, or a rabbit that was wandering about outside and try to hunt them down, but she was too slow with the snow resisting her.

“No, she won’t,” Rowan’s heart lurched when he heard an unfamiliar voice and shot up. “But I caught you.”

[coffeestainsandcashmere]

Hey, I've been loving your Dramioneo drabbles so much! They're my favourite triad and you write them so well! Any chance of a drabble of Draco telling his (supportive) mother about his engagement to Hermione and Theo? I'm in the mood for some fluff!

Here’s just over 1000 words of emotional fluff for you! Thanks for the request, and I’m so glad you’re enjoying the one-shots I’ve been doing!

___

A bead of sweat rolled down between Draco’s shoulder blades, and despite having occluded twice - twice! - on his way up to his mother’s private drawing room, he still felt nearly sick with nerves. Tucked away in his bedroom were the two souls keeping him tethered to this earth, probably lying lazily in each other’s arms. Perhaps Theo was now reading aloud to Hermione, or perhaps she was waxing beautiful on some obscure topic of magical creature law, but whatever they were doing, they were his and he theirs - pledged and sworn to each other, if not before the world just yet.  

Or before Narcissa Malfoy.  

“Oh heck,” he muttered under his breath as he paused at the top of the stairs and caught sight of a familiar flash of pale hair. His father was just stepping out of the drawing room where he knew his mother would be sitting primly in an armchair, drinking tea and reading the Daily Prophet at this time of the afternoon.  

“Draco,” his father drawled with his uncanny habit of not moving his lips at all around the word.  

“Father,” he replied evenly, and a slight flicker passed over Lucius’ face.

“Everything alright, son?”

“Fine. I just need to talk to mother briefly.”

Mercifully, Lucius left it at that, and bowed his head. A light of curiosity flickered in his cold eyes, but he held his tongue. He also looked much better for having his long, scraggy hair lopped off and the damage from his sentence in Azkaban removed, though he still wore it longer than Draco did, the white-blond hair now brushing his shoulders.  

Hesitating just once more outside the door, Draco drew in a deep breath and swallowed, raising a knuckle to rap softly on the door.  

“Lucius, I told you I would like to read the paper in peace,” Narcissa called from the other side.  

“It’s me,” Draco said quietly.  

The newspaper rustled and he took it as his cue to enter. “Oh. Draco, darling, come in.” Her voice sounded completely different now, the chilly tone banished in favour of warm fondness. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I just needed some space from your father for five minutes.”

Draco twitched his eyebrows once in understanding and hovered after closing the door.  

Narcissa raised a sculpted eyebrow at her son. “Darling?” Draco’s occlumency skills certainly did not come from his father, though Narcissa did not have to reach out to see that her son was agitated by something. “Come and sit down. Tea?”

He shook his head sharply, nausea rising. He could do this. He had believed and accepted Hermione Granger’s forgiveness. He could do anything. Thinking of Theo and Hermione gave him a little more courage, and he took a breath and said grimly, “You might want something a little stronger than tea for this conversation.”

That lone eyebrow eased a little higher towards her hairline. “Draco? What’s going on?” and after a moment she laughed, an incongruous sound that was almost girlish. “You look like you might be the one needing something stronger than tea, darling. Shall I pour you a dram?”

He shook his head. The thought of firewhisky right then made his stomach roil. “No. Thank you mother. Tea’s… fine.”

And with that, he sat heavily in the winged armchair opposite his mother and rallied the slim remnants of his courage. For once, he almost wished he had a Gryffindor’s heart.  

Narcissa poured him a cup which she transfigured from the saucer of her own teacup, and sat back silently, waiting for him either to take the tea or to speak. When he did neither, her face clouded a little. “Draco, darling, you’re starting to worry me. What’s on your mind?”

Now or never.  

“Theo, Hermione and I are going to get married,” he said in a rush. “Regardless of your feelings on the subject, we’re going to do it. I just… wanted to tell you first before anyone else.” There. Done. Salazar’s Scaly Balls, he felt like he was going to pass out.  

A moment later, Narcissa began to laugh softly and he actually heaved a little bit. Of all the reactions, he hadn’t expected her not to take him seriously, and it hurt.  

“Mother —” he began hotly, but she cut him off.  

“That’s what’s got you in such a state?” she asked, still chuckling softly. “My dear boy, I saw this coming a mile off. I’m just sorry it’s taken so long for you to be ready to tell me. We’ll have to work out a colour scheme that suits all three of you, and with the variety of colouring between you, it might be a challenge, and we can’t possibly expect dear Miss Granger to wear all green now, can we? We must expect her to want some red to be represented somewhere, but how to do it without turning it from a wedding celebration into a yuletide festival, I’m not sure. Well, we’ll work something out, won’t we? I —”

“— Mother!” Draco barked, interrupting her nervous outpouring.  

She swallowed. “Yes?”

“You’re… You’re really alright with this?”

Her shoulders dropped and she leaned forwards over the small coffee table between them and put her hand on his knee. “Darling, you’ve come back to life in the last two years, and I’m not stupid or unobservant, Draco; it’s all due to them. Your happiness means more to me than anything, Draco. Anything.” That last sentiment was delivered so fiercely that he felt a huge surge of love sweeping up inside his chest for his mother.  

“Mother,” he whimpered, relief swirling around his head and making his vision blur with tears.  

Narcissa gripped his hands tightly in hers across the table and blinked rapidly herself. In a quietly intense voice, she added, “I understand why you were reticent to tell me, Draco, but I’m long over the surprise of you being in love with two people who are also equally in love. As I told you long ago when you first started seeing Miss Granger as well as Theo, I may have seen that coming longer than you did. You talked of nothing but ‘Granger this’ and ‘Granger that’ for the first five years of your time at Hogwarts, my darling.”  

She squeezed his fingers while he sat there, dumbfounded at her words.  

“She brings out the very best in my boy, and she challenges you. You need someone to challenge you, my darling. You are fortunate to have two people who are intellectually your equal, and not only that, but who truly know you and love you. Draco, I could not be more proud to acquire a second son in Theodore, and a daughter in Hermione, if she’ll have me. I realise I might not be her first choice in a mother-in-law after everything, but we shall have to work on that.”

A tear did spill over and roll down his cheek at that, but he cuffed it away with the back of his sleeve and blinked furiously for a moment. His mother hadn’t been anxious about the three of them - she’d been anxious that Hermione would reject her as a mother-in-law.  

“She’ll expect a ring,” Narcissa added thoughtfully, and Draco nearly choked on his own surprise. “What?” she asked archly. “You think I’m completely unaware of muggleborn and muggle traditions?”

“Honestly, yes…” he said, running a hand through his silver-blond hair.  

Narcissa just tutted and rolled her eyes and then stood, smoothing down the front of her skirt and then holding out her hand. “Come then,” she said.  

When he stood somewhat more slowly and frowned warily, she rolled her eyes and chirped at him to get a move on.

“Where are we going?” he asked, sliding his hand into her smaller one and wincing at the chill in her fingers. She’d always had cold hands.  

“The vault, of course,” she said, right before she disapparated and took Draco with her as a side-along.

___

If you enjoyed, please reblog and share! I’m new to the fandom on here and appreciate all the help I can get!

___

writing masterlist | Ao3

[willowbirds]

❗️Spoilers for episode 16 of The Bad Batch❗️

I just watched the episode and I am going to leave my final thoughts on the season.

First, the final. In my theory post I mentioned the episode would most likely just be the batch trying to get off of Kamino. Which it was. A lot more calm other then the fact that they could all drowned at any moment. Which brings me to my next bit, Omega almost drowning. Star Wars isn’t afraid to kill children (as we see with Order 66) but they don’t normally kill the main kid character. So while Omega was sinking to the bottom of the ocean I had a feeling that she’s going to be fine. Which she was. There wasn’t much intensity there. There was intensity just not a tone. Now if the show was not confirmed for a second season I would actually start to think the show was really going to kill Omega. She’s fine though and so is AZI. Crosshairs choice of choosing to stay behind made more sense then him choosing to go with his brothers (and sister). The final moments with Nala Se also made me very curious about the Empire is trying to do. So altogether, the episode had some intense moments, but compared to the episode before hand it was a bit lack lustre. Still good though. I give an 8/10 for that episode.

Also I was joking about a giant sea monster showing up holy crap!

Now for the season as a whole. Compared to the other Star Wars shows out at the moment, The Bad Batch seems to be one of the weaker ones. However that’s from comparing a show with only one season to shows that have multiple seasons and have developed their characters and story. Knowing that both the Clone wars and Rebels were not the best in their first seasons, I’m going to cut some slack for the first season of TBB when it comes to the episode writing and story. I do love the characters (I’m hyperfixated on them so of course I would) but the season seems to side line most of them in favour of Hunter and Omega. I’m not complaining, I love found family tropes even though they are really over done in Star Wars. I don’t care I love them. Even though I love Omega I really wished she had more moments with the other batchers. I want Echo and Omega to go on a little adventure together, is that to much to ask? Some people complain that the series is mostly filler while in reality only 3 episodes would actually be considered filler: Rampage (but not entirely), Common ground, and Infested. Infested was a beautifully animated episode, but people didn’t like it because the season (or at this point we weren’t sure if it was continuing for another season so the series as a whole) was ending in just a few episodes. However if Rebels has taught me anything, it’s that if a filler episode comes out before the final you know that you are in for a wild ride. So the fact that the show in not entirely filler, I will not remove a point.

Final note for the series so far. One entire point is taken away because of the Whitewashing of the batch. The creators had the perfect opportunity to take the face of a very beautiful Māori man and copy and paste it to our main characters, but instead they choose to make the main characters white. WHY?! There is no reason why the batch should be white?! They are clones of a Māori coded character and they choose to take all of the melanin out of their skin. What the actual heck!? Omega is a pure genetic clone, yet she is the whitest out of all of them. Huh?! Why?! It wouldn’t have been that hard to just take the young boba model and give her blonde hair. ITS NOT THAT HARD!! I am white. I don’t need anymore hero’s that look like me in Star Wars! I have enough. It’s a galaxy far far away. SO WHY IS EVERYONE WHITE?! POC and many other people including me want to see POC characters in Star Wars media, but for some reason Star Wars chooses not too. Along with this, Tech is Autistic coded. Now coding a character isn’t always a bad thing, some times it works well but that usually doesn’t happen. Coding relies heavily on stereotypes and that is whats happening with Tech. Although not all of Techs characteristics are bad, they are bordering on being stereotypical. Please. As an Autistic fan please. I want better representation. Not just for me, but for everyone. Star Wars? Fix this crap.

Final thoughts.

I love the Bad Batch. It’s been a very fun hyperfixation and I’ve enjoyed waking up my brother in the morning to go watch it. Some of the episodes aren’t the best, but they are still fun. Even though I enjoyed the season a lot and I’m excited for season 2, I can’t ignore the fact that the show, and all of Star Wars, definitely has a serious problem that needs to be talked about and fixed.

I would give this season a 7/10, but as I said earlier, I have to remove one point: 6/10

Now a few quick hopes for season 2:

Omega finally gets her own set of armour

We see what the Empire wants Nala Se to do for them (I’m guessing it has something to do with the Zillow beast)

More screen time with the other batchers (Tech and Wrecker or Omega and Echo are team ups I hope for)

Possible new planets

Visiting old planets

Truly finding out if Omega has a mutation like the rest of the Bad Batch

Did Crosshair really get his chip removed

Flash backs (batch as cadets and a smol Omega)

Angst, angst, and more angst

Unwhitewashed character models of the Bad Batch and Omega

Tech no longer written as a stereotype and he is no longer coded (just make him autistic please I beg)

Thank you for reading my really long review of The Bad Batch. I hope you have a good day and I’m excited to see what will happen in season 2.

May the Force be with you.

- Willow Bird

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Undercover Lover prt 7

7

Three days off suddenly were rare. A storm had rolled through Shinganshima leaving most of the city without power. Even with the back up generator at work, it was too dark to work safely, Rod forced to send them home until power was restored. Sitting in a daze on his sofa, Eren damn near jumped out of his when there was a knock on his door. Having spent the majority of the day sleeping, he’d been intending on enjoying the last of the sun light before turning back in when it got dark again... not that there was any on account of the rain.

Dragging himself off the sofa, Eren sighed as headed to the door. Unlocking the chain and turning the deadbolt, he expected it to be one of his neighbours needing help. He’d already had to help the lady down the hall when her kid accidentally locked her out her apartment. The kid too upset and too young to calm down, so he’d climbed up the fire escape and coaxed the kid through the window until finally he was let in and able to unlock the door for her. Instead, Levi stood there. The man wet from the downpour outside. Shopping bags hung from both arms

“You going to make me fucking stand here dripping filth, or are you going to let me in”

Moving aside, Levi grumbled about the “shitty fucking rain” as he slipped past, Eren closing and the locking door behind the alpha, confused as to what was happening

“Sure, come in, make yourself at home. What are you doing here?”

“Tch. You can blame Hanji. Fucked up and told her we’ve got work off on account of the weather”

“And that led to you...”

“Escaping. Besides, this place is a fucking dump”

That explained sweet fuck all. Sure, they’d talked the day after Levi’s fight. The alpha hiding bruised knuckles under his gloves, Eren scolding him that he should have iced his hands when he got home. It seemed he’d never escape being a doctor’s son

“I was planning on sleeping through the storm”

Levi had already dumped the bags of shopping on the bench, sorting through them as Eren watched on

“Tch. Tough shit. I can’t go home with Hanji on the loose. She brought way too much shit over yesterday, consider it payment for hiding me from her”

“She’s not that”

“Tell me that again in a few years time”

Eren’s heart gave a weird beat at the thought of knowing Levi years from now. It simply wasn’t going to happen. People moved on... he’d be moving on. Still, Levi was there now

“Sure. Remind me and I’ll remind you. She does know the power’s out?”

“Yep. It’s all canned shit and long life shit. Who knows what they put in that crap”

Canned food made up much of his diet. Cooking for one was never as much fun as cooking for friends and family

“Probably a lot less shit than you find in cigarettes. I still don’t know why you came here”

Levi paused, before turning to Eren, frowning heavily. Eren had never seen anyone frown as much as Levi did... it was kind refreshing to see someone so honest and not forcing a fake smile to his face because that’s what he thought was expected. Levi’s scent was also kind of refreshing... Except something was bleeding through and Eren couldn’t pinpoint what that meant

“Because I had all this and nothing to do with it. And she doesn’t have your address. If I went to Erwin’s she’d be there in a heartbeat. There’s only so many of her theories you can listen to before the urge to strangle sets in”

“Right, well, I’ve got to warn you, there’s nothing good on TV”

Levi needed a moment for that one, before a can of something was thrown at him. Eren finding himself laughing as Levi huffed

“You nearly had me for a second”

“Would I be making it worse if I said I’d been watching the same show all day”

Lobbing another can at him, Eren felt his mood lightening. Despite how grumpy on the outside Levi was, he still held a somewhat childish streak from the look of it

“You’re a brat”

“I’ve been told. Still, with the power out, there isn’t a lot to do”

“You got cards?”

“Somewhere...”

From Mikasa... for when he’d babysit his niece and nephew... They would have grown so much since he last saw them. Only God knew what Mikasa had told them about why Uncle Eren wasn’t around any more

“Good. There’s some shitty candles in here somewhere. That should be enough light to kick your arse”

“How bold of you to presume you’re going to win”

Resuming pulling items out the bags, Levi joked back

“Even bolder of you to presume I won’t. Go sit down or something, you’re too damn tall”

Dropping the two cans on the bench, Eren headed to his bedroom. All his personal shit still remained pretty much boxed up. In the kitchen Levi was bagging cupboard doors, Eren could only shake his head. He didn’t know how to handle having Levi over again, yet he couldn’t bring himself to be an unhappy about having a visitor...

*

Levi didn’t know what he was doing. He’d lied to Eren. He’d shown up, then lied. He couldn’t exactly tell Eren he’d shown up worried about his health given the storming weather outside. It wasn’t a complete lie. Hanji had asked him how Eren was. Levi didn’t have his number, so couldn’t just call the brat to make sure he hadn’t gone and expired from whatever stomach bug he’d seemed to be suffering from for the last two weeks. Heck. He didn’t even know what Eren actually had wrong with him, no, he just knew that the brat had been looking worse and worse since their chat and it didn’t sit right with him.

Having cleaned his apartment through, the memory of Eren’s sadly dreary apartment decided to haunt his arse. The kid was probably huddled up all sniffly, sick as a dog, with no one there to drag him to hospital if he collapsed. Technically Hanji was a trained medic, but he could hardly turn up with her on Eren’s doorstep. Gathering up a bunch of random shit out of his cupboards, the fact that Eren had met Hanji actually worked in his favour. Blame it on her and Eren would never question it.

“I’ve got Uno... and it’s pink”

Walking out his bedroom, Eren seemed to be reading the back of the box. Fucking uno not his first choice if he’d had one

“Uno comes in pink?”

“My sister bought it for when I’d baby sit my niece and neph-... never mind. It’s that or nothing”

Right. Levi vaguely remembered hearing about this “mythical sister”. Whenever Eren seemed to think he was getting too close to opening up, he’d shut right down. Levi not knowing how to deal with that given all of his friends had big fucking mouths

“So you’ve got a sister? And she’s got kids? Look at Uncle Eren now”

Eren snorted with a shake of his head

“Oh, she would not approve of this at all. But yeah... She got married at 22, then popped out Mina and Thomas while still managing a full time job”

Levi let out a whistle. Kids were a damn handful at the worst of times. His “niece” took after her mother in every way possible

“Reminds me of Izzy and Farlan. They’ve got a daughter. Farlan was paranoid he’d be the worst dad ever...”

“What about you? Any cranky Levi juniors running around?”

God. Hell no. Kids with their sticky fingers, snotty faces and no etiquette as they chewed like cows, were not his idea of fun. He knew he wasn’t the easiest person to get along with, and had yet to meet anyone he actually wanted in his life that long

“Tch. No. There’s a reason they invented condoms”

“That there is. I still feel kind of bad you came all this way. You’re still wet from the rain”

Did Eren really have to remind him? God only knew what germs clung to his damn clothes

“It’s fucking filthy. I’m stealing a shower once I’ve got this shit away”

“You can chuck your clothes through the dryer... I know I’ve got germs and all, but I’ve got clean clothes if you want to borrow something”

Levi sighed heavily at thought of the ridiculousness of him in Eren’s clothes

“One of your goddamn shirts would be a dress on me”

“So you’re used to wearing dress- stop throwing shit at me!”

Lobbing a can, Levi smacked him the shoulder. Too bad the brat couldn’t catch. Not sure if he’d actually be let in, Levi hadn’t thought to bring a change of clothes. Fuck. He’d fucked this up. His anxiety over showing up shattering his normally impassive look at the world. Eren was the first friend he’d made in a while, and the first that didn’t look down on his bare knuckle way of getting shit done. He still couldn’t quite believe he’d fucked the lanky shit, or that he’d actually enjoyed doing so. This was why tea would forever reign as the best drink in all situations

“Stop being a shit and I won’t keep throwing things at you”

Throwing a hand up, Eren getting cranky brought a certain delight with it

“This is my apartment!”

“I’ve seen turds with more street appeal than this place. No wonder you’ve looked so sick lately”

He’d crossed a line. Eren visibly tensing. Shit. Fuck. Even his alpha was shaking its head at him, telling him gone and shot himself in the foot. Eren’s voice several degrees colder as he asked

“Is that why you’re really here?”

“I already told you, Shitty Hanji forced this on me. Besides, if you up and die, who’s going to work all the over time at the garage?”

Eren seemed guarded, though his posture did relax marginally, voice still colder than before as he fidgeted with the Uno box

“You know... actually. No. I don’t particularly feel like going into this. I’m fine. Not going to drop dead anytime soon”

That was deserved. Levi didn’t have a right to be prying. He didn’t know why he was... or what was it about the brat that drew him in. He’d been through so much shit and knew from personal experience that getting close to people would only end badly. How he managed to still have friends was beyond him

“That’s good to know. Light some candles already, it’s dark as fuck in here”

Eren sighed heavily, shaking his head at whatever thought had popped into his brain

“Yes, sir”

That was another goddamn thing about Eren. Every time he called him “Sir”, Levi’s alpha felt a sense of pride. Having had his alpha so long, and having been called “Sir” many a time, the pride aspect should have worn off. Eren never failed to rile it back when being a cheeky shit. Rod’s warning hadn’t left his head, but Levi seemed to be pulled towards the brat in a way that made him doubt there was any kernel of truth in the other alpha’s words. He hardly would have turned up there if he really believed Eren capable of murder. His own self preservation instincts would have kicked in had his alpha felt the fellow alpha a threat. And, honestly, what kind of dark killer had pink Uno cards?!

[x22wg]

Shore Leave (part 15)

So about what I said about avoiding The Angst last time... well I guess I’m a proper fanfic author now. Whoops. It’s finally time to do the Time Warp (for the first and last time) and Burnham can’t run away from confronting Tilly forever! This wraps up this story (gasp!) unless I go mad and try to adapt that mess of a third season.

Concentration writ plainly on her face, Michael Burnham listened intently to her mother's instructions. She had seen this recording dozens of times, of course, but beyond just memorizing it she had to understand. For one, the enemy fleet could appear at any moment. More importantly, the time suit would help her guide the Discovery into the future and out of reach of the omnicidal Control forever, but it would be a one-way trip. As such there was no opportunity for a test run.

Standing in the middle of her quarters, she was in fact not even wearing the special undersuit designed to be used with the time suit. It was hardly comfortable to wear, which was her excuse not to. Wearing only her underwear she felt... unrestrained. Even if the sports bra dug deeply enough to form plump rolls on her back and her short bottoms hugged the underside of a rotund potbelly.

With a weary sigh, Burnham closed the recording and stepped over to her desk. Sitting down heavily she brought back the projection, leaned back and continued to watch.

Deep down there was the greater worry that she could no longer fit into the suit. And as long as she didn't try it on she would not be confronted by that terrible scenario. The possibility clawed at the back of her mind, however – even as she tried to concentrate on her mother explaining how to operate the time suit. Moving on its own, her hand explored the generous curve of her plump side as if to assess the danger.

Even after all this time she hadn't really gotten to grips with her greater size, making it all but impossible to judge if she had lost or gained weight. Thinking about it, she was fairly certain she was in the clear. She realized Tilly had been rather stingy with the treats lately, which probably helped.

As Michael mused about this, her autonomous hand wandered over to an opened bag of chocolate fudge sitting on the desk. Retrieving a couple she idly popped them into her mouth. Her cravings ignited, more would follow in increasingly rapid succession. To think that only a few months ago only a handful would probably have made her sick. Now she could hardly get enough – and she enjoyed every little bite of it.

Part of her even considered taking a trip to the mess hall, but the work at hand was too important.  I don't think I can ask for take-away delivery either, she thought wryly, just before the door chime heralded a visitor. Michael sat up in her chair and for a moment she wondered if she actually had ordered food – on a combat-ready Federation starship.

The door quickly slid open on its own accord, confirming that it had to be her roommate and indeed not a food delivery. Reflexively turning her chair around, Michael realized she had remained seated only once Tilly stepped inside. Suddenly very aware of her laid-back posture she now felt a lot fatter than she had a moment ago.

Tilly did not seem to notice. She strode into the middle of the room, her face a quivering mask once she finally spoke: “So... what? You're leaving forever without as much as a goodbye?”

I should have told her, a voice in Burnham's head whispered and she felt her heart break. Which was why she had not told Tilly in the first place.

“I didn't want to... ruin things,” Michael pleaded weakly and heaved herself to her feet. She stopped about a belly-length and a half away, unable to come any closer.

Tilly had clearly anticipated this exact response and could only react with a half-chuckled scoff. Her weak smile hardly hid her exasperation: “And you thought I wouldn't notice? I know I'm not the best with this kind of stuff, but... Michael, you've been acting really weird lately! I didn't know what to believe. At first I thought it was about... you know...” Tilly glanced down at Michael's midsection.

True to form it took a moment for Burnham to catch even this unsubtle hint. “That's... why you've been stealing my food?”

“I dunno, I guess I thought...” Tilly exhaled and looked away, trying to make sense of everything. “You used to be smaller than me and suddenly that's changed and I didn't want that to drive us apart. So maybe you'd feel more comfortable if I also...”

The redhead paused and tugged at her slightly tighter shirt.

Mouthing silently, a desperate plea was written on Michael's face while she tried to find the right words. She took a step closer and felt her bare belly brush against Tilly's uniform. “Tilly... if anything, being around you makes me feel better about, well...” Michael tilted her head with a wistful little smile. “...everything.”

Opposite her, Tilly visibly fought the urge to just hug Burnham tightly. It was almost as if she recoiled, lest she gave in to her natural instinct of immediately forgiving it all.

“But you didn't think I deserved to know you're gonna disappear forever?” Saying it out loud clearly gave Tilly her resolve back. “That the crew didn't deserve to know? After all we've been through they're not just 'colleagues', exactly.”

“And that's why I couldn't say anything. I think of you all not as crew members but as friends. If I said goodbye that would...”

Yet again, Burnham was lost for words, but Tilly was quick to pick up the conversation: “All of us?”

Michael met the pointed look with one of confusion. “Is this about Philippa?” she ventured warily.

At first Tilly rolled her eyes but could hardly keep herself from laughing through the tears. “God and my mom says I'm oblivious...” Her voice, however, was raw. “Please, don't tell me that's really all I am to you.”

“Tilly...” Michael put her hands on the taller woman's shoulders and was finally forced to look her straight in the eyes. There was no denying no one aboard this ship was closer to her than Tilly. After she returned to Discovery, Tilly was the one who made her feel better about herself. And the one who supported her in bettering herself.

She was the one with whom Michael had shared everything. Until now. And only now that she had shut herself off from it did Michael realize it was Tilly's love that had kept her going. Through doubt and weakness – real or imagined.

The Federation loved Burnham as the hero of the Klingon Wars. The Emperor loved Burnham as the daughter she had lost. Tilly loved her for her. But after all that she had lost, Michael had refused to see it.

“I'm sorry,” Michael said and hugged herself close to Tilly. “I'm sorry I couldn't be honest with myself. And with you.”

Tilly immediately returned the favour, with none of their earlier awkwardness lingering in her embrace. “Hey, I know what it's like to not want to get hurt again. That's why I didn't want to push you...”

Michael drew back, arms around Tilly's neck to pull her down – enough to rest her forehead against hers. “Maybe you should have,” she smiled through the tears.

Tilly chuckled awkwardly. “I would never know what the heck to say.”

“That makes two of us,” came Michael's self-deprecating reply.

The two of them stared at each other for a small eternity; Michael's arms around Tilly's neck, Tilly's hands on Michael's soft lovehandles. And then, as if obeying some cosmic law, their lips met.

It was a sting of guilt that finally made Burnham break off. Resting her head against the taller woman's shoulder she sighed. “I wish I had known what we had before I had to go.”

“Then let's figure it out together,” Tilly said softly and hugged Michael closer. “Because I'm coming with you. We all are.”

Burnham looked up at her with desperation in her eyes. “I can't make you do that. Once you go through that portal there's no coming back.”

Tilly just smiled, calm and reassuring. “Good thing it's not up to you, then. Everyone's made up their mind and are waiting down the hall.”

Once again Michael was utterly lost for words, but this time it didn't matter. The gratitude in her eyes said all there was to say.

“Alright let's go meet them and get you suited up. The future is waiting for us.”