#shaxberd

[gameo-archive]

"For future casting directors, a bit of Shakespeare"

"This [set] has half the budget, double the heart, and probably half the brains and looks." - Jayden

The first of three videos from a kind user who wishes to remain anonymous.

[silentstep]

just saw a post where someone sourced "to be or not to be" to MACBETH and like I'm NOT gonna be an asshole on their otherwise good post, it's so ENTIRELY incidental to their point, but buddy I am GNAWING on the corner of my screen like a rat right now

[silentstep]

I was there for a production of Merchant of Venice where Morocco was VERY charming and sweet, and when he failed the riddle test and had to leave & Portia says once he's gone "Let all of his complexion choose me so," the woman next to me exclaimed, appalled, "RACIST!" in such genuine shock it was kind of moving

love shakespeare. did a hamlet run tonight, looked someone dead in the eye to say “am i a coward?” during a speech and the fucker shrugged and nodded

[valiantstarlights]

[windsweptinred]

Watching 'The Sound of her Wings' again. As you do...Where in 1589 Hob gives his whole speech about Eleanor, Robyn and this is what I always dreamed heaven would be like. Including the line "My first son born in 200 years, that I know off..." Proceeded by Dream immediately turning his attention back to Will Shaxberd...

And my twisted little mind went, lol... That would be funny. What with Hob having Ferdie's Warwickshire County accent. Aka, Shakespeare County. And both Hob and Will sharing the same propensity to loud mouth themselves into Dream's attentions. And Will, if the rumours are to be believed, being as much of a bisexual rascal as Hob is. (Don't let the big twink eyes fool you).

Imagine, Dream's being incognito keeping tabs on Hob and any Hob sprogs over the generations. And is mentally like... I'm just going to hang out with your Great Great Great illegitimate Grandson who is conveniently right over there. Since you're sooooooo 'HAPPY' without me. Come Will, I shall call you Hob the Second. Your job is to stare at me with the same utter devotion he used to.

Jump to 2022

Death: When are you going to tell him? He has a right to know.

Dream:..............When the stars are correctly aligned.

[mxcat777]

So what if

Dream is sort of Shakespeare's patron, right? So would that make Shakespeare on of His™? And if so, would he reside in the Dreaming after his death instead of the Sunless Lands?

'cause if so. Consider.

He's still writing. (A lot)

He keeps up with modern literature, but keeps writing (at least mostly) in Early Modern English (that's it, right? Do I have my lit facts straight?). Imagine his recent plays littered with slang, disney references, (un)subtle references to shit that was based on his stuff that he either loves or hates, both are good.

He's kind of a favourite of Dream's. The same way Lucienne and Jessamy and The Corinthian are. He can get away with saying shit, because if he offends Dream he can turn around and start sprouting some poetry at that vain-ass bitch and all is forgiven. (In the worst cases it takes a new play about his royal majesty the Dream King and how generous and benevolent and regal he is)

Fishbowling happens, not sure what Will would do, the plot bunny didn't care.

Dream is back, all is well, he goes to the New Inn, Hob and Dream are now officially Friends.

They meet up more bc friends see each other more often than once a century. Oh yeah friends also know each others' names and such. So Dream tells Hob a bit about himself.

At some point he's like, hey hob u wanna see the dreaming?

Hob's like yES PLz??

Hob gets a tour, and from that point on usually gets the option at night to dream normally or visit the palace.

On one fateful night, Hob decides to take a stroll through the library, goes looking for Marlowe's shelf, because he kind of wonders what other stuff that genius would have written had he lived longer.

Only to (maybe literally) bump into, you guessed it, Will Bloody Shaxberd.

He stares.

Will goes 'hey'.

And then Hob goes somewhat feral.

(no he is not over it, sue him, he's allowed to hold a grudge.)

He goes off on a rant about, see, ofc ur still plagiarizing marlowe he was so much better i can't believe dream left me for you you useless twat you couldn't write shit without him so why did you get the fucking privilege of living with him and knowing him for fucking centuries i had to fight 600 years for his bloody name and i'm guessing you got it right that first meeting hm?

And Will goes oh shit it's you! And then cuts Hob off with a "you're so right! I was an absolute shit playwright before your friend helped me!"

And Hob is... Understandably lost. This was not how it went in his head.

And then Will continues, I was so nervous the time right after that meeting, I knew he was some sort of supernatural being, no clue what though, he's really not good at introductions, is he, so I sort of assumed you were too, and I was waiting for your revenge for stealing your date away, recently found out you're actually human, albeit immortal, and it was not a date, though, speaking of, have you sorted yourselves out yet?

And Hob, quite understandably even more baffled, sort of gapes for a bit.

Before very nervously denying anything of the sort.

Will just stares.

And goes, bruv, you weren't subtle then, still aren't now, spare everyone else the UST, please, for the love of god, you two need to fuck post haste.

And Hob is like, hahaha, eh, yeah, nope, fun seeing you, BYE.

So Will sighs. And goes to see Lucienne, as any sensible person would.

Lucienne sighs as well. At which point Will steps to Dream himself.

"My lord?" "Yes, William?" "Forgive my directness, but so as not to risk any misunderstandings, what exactly is your relationship with Hob Gadling?" "We are friends. Why do you ask? Is that not clear?" "Well, to be perfectly honest, m'lord, I assumed you were... Involved™." "We are not." "But you'd like to be though, right?" "You dare presume to know-" " I dare presume to know what attraction, romance, love, all that looks like, sire. I must do, after portraying it in my plays for over four centuries. After writing several hundreds of sonnets on the topic." "I-" "In my humble opinion, my lord, it is a good match. He understands you, you continue to fascinate each other, he can provide a safe place where you need not be monarch for a moment. And of course, you are quite obviously attracted to one another sexually." "WILLIAM SH-" "Oh calm down! I'm certainly not judging either of you!" "...he is attracted to me?" "..." "Is he?" "YES! Lord give me faith! Kiss him! Go to him and teleport the both of you onto a bed! Or if you want to be sappy go slow and bring him a rose, but please, for the love of the collective sanity, do something!" "But how do you know? What if you misunderstood? What if it is unwelcome? I cannot lose him!"

At which point Will turns around, leaves the throne room, goes back to the library and rant to Lucienne

"I swear I'm going to write a play about them, just to point out how stupid this is. I feel compelled to call it a tragedy, but I think it needs to have a happy ending, otherwise Lord Broodphius would get stuck on the but what if it does end in tragedy, so I suppose a comedy would be fitting, but then again, this is too painful to watch to qualify as a comedy. Tragic comedy? Comic tragedy? I'll figure it out..."

And Lucienne is like, if you'd like to perform it properly I'm sure there are a few dreams who would be more than willing to help out, take on a role.

Hob comes back to the Dreaming a few days later and finds Will up to his elbows in paper, reference books, thesauruses and rhyming dictionaries (handy things those), and empty mugs and the like.

Will looks up, somewhat manic, and is like, Hob! Great! Just the person I wanted to see! Would you help me, please?

Hob's like, sure? Kind of apprehensive, but he gave everything some thought and decided that as long as he could go on dunking on him, he could let go of most of his jealousy (cuz that's what is was, he's mature enough to admit)

Will goes, Awesome! Tell me about you and Morphius! How do you see him, what's your story, I only ever get bits and pieces from his lordship, so I'm in severe need of some context...

And Hob is somewhat suspicious, but he indulges him, and really, telling the story comes too easy, so he gets into it completely and doesn't even notice when he starts slipping into rants about Dream, about how beautiful, and magnificent, and misunderstood, and kind, and way-out-of-his-league-but-god-dammit-he-went-and-fell-in-love-with-the-bastard-anyway he is

And Will takes studious notes.

And then goes like, so some of the sonnets I've written were with you two in mind, you wanna give me some feedback? (Ahem, sonnet 24/29, some others work too, undoubtedly, but I am no Shakespeare expert, unfortunately)

And he does something similar with Dream, maybe citing Hob's dislike of him as the reason he wants to know more about him without having to bother him overly much, like, I want to set things right between us, but I need to know more about him to do that, will you help me, m'lord

And he does

And Will just sits back and takes notes as Dream also spirals into a passion fueled rant about Hob

And all those notes end up in the eventual play

Auditions for the roles happen when Dream and Hob are out on a Not Date™ in the Waking.

There are surprisingly many auditioning for Hob's role, and surprisingly little for Dream's

Until Will points out that Dream would probably be more offended by an unworthy portrayal of his Love that of himself, at which point some of the dreams bow out entirely, bc Will knows how vain their lord is, so they decide not to risk unmaking and tactically retreat

Will is in his fucking element, it's been way too long since he's properly directed a play!

Eventually Will comes up to the Mutually Pining Idiots like, hey m'lord, Hob, I've written a new play, and I've been working with some of the dreams to make it happen, do you want to see??

So they watch. They watch as two absolute fucking idiots stumble around each other, everyone on and off stage can see how stupidly in love they are except for them, and both start sweating profusely when they start recognizing their own words quoted back at them.

The end of the play is something of a direct call-out and a plea from the dreams to please just talk to each other, fuck and get married, preferably in that order, but they're not picky.

Then everyone leaves them alone for the Conversation that is most likely going to happen.

Will stays behing hiding unobtrusively in the shadows tho.

He's not about to let all his work go to waste if these idiots ty to play it off again. He will lock them in a broom closet if he has to, watch him.

They don't.

Luckily.

There are like three sentences total spoken. Then they're aggressively making out.

Will leaves the room very content about his matchmaking skills.

And hey! He got a good play out of it, if he does say so himself!

[notallsandmen]

When (not if, when) Netflix gives us an episode of A Midsummer Night’s Dream, I really hope we get to see it from Shakespeare’s POV, because the man is about 5 min from a nervous breakdown throughout this issue

[secondjulia]

A recurring question

Hob, is that another anti-Stratfordian tract in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Fuck you. It's an anti-Stratfordian tract and I'm happy to see you!

[theitcharchives]

In a world of Hobs and Dreams and Shaxberds having their shenanigans, I am the forgotten Marlowe also ditched in 1589 but with no lamb and a broken leg

[gameo-archive]

"George can easily beat Jayden with fitness related stuff, but what things can Jayden beat George at…? (George, care to share your workout routine?) Song recs? I want to interpret them into Auslan for a challenge to do in the holidays. Any good songs with strong bass so I can vibe along? More book recs please, or anything else that's intellectually stimulating. Thinking alongside the lines of which obscure Shakespearean plays to read (shakespearify a DBD scene?), or other stuff that influenced the functioning of the DBD universe (and yes I know Sandman very well at this point.) George, have you read the Alchemist yet? Any fave Niko moments?"

Transcript below:

"G: Hello, Tan. Um, thank you once again for this Cameo request. Let’s get straight into it. So you’ve said: “George can beat Jayden easily with fitness rates and stuff”—lemme just stop you right there because that is, um, incorrect. Objectively, Jayden can beat me at multiple fitness stuff. I can assure you of that just because I won one plank competition does not make me in any way superior. So just keep that in mind. Um, “Any song recommendations?” You want to interpret them into Auslan for a challenge to do in the holidays. G: Um, “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” would be a great one. J: Yep, and, uh, “Lost Boy” by Ruth B. G: “Any good songs with strong bass?” So you can vibe along? J: Strong bass? “Super Bass” by Nicki Minaj. G: There you go! “More book recommendations please, or anything else that’s intellectually stimulating.” J: “The Secret.” It’s all about the power of, uh, the law of attraction. Um, big, big, big book, uh, read it. It’s really good. G: Uh, “Thinking alongside of which obscure Shakespearian plays to read, Shakespeare-ify a Dead Boy Detectives scene or other stuff that influences the function of the Dead Boy Detective universe.” Um? Is there a question there? Um. I mean, I-I-I think, I can, well, on Shakespeare I can tell you, Tan, I think Edwin would have been a huge Shakespeare fan. I think he would have really enjoyed all of that. J: And Tan, thank you so, so much for these continued requests. We are completely blown away. Uh, so we just wanna say thank you so much. Sending you lots of love, and we hope to hear from you again soon. Bye! G: Bye! "

[valiantstarlights]

[notallsandmen]

[ralkana]

Fluffbruary, Day 22

February 22: key | silly | quest

Dream of the Endless / Hob Gadling

Rated G (maybe T for one word?)

-----

Part of the joy of shepherding Dream through his new life as simply an immortal man, rather than the anthropomorphic personification of the entire collective subconscious, is introducing him to the many ways humankind has discovered to prepare certain foods.

Sometimes that's poulet rôti and pommes fondantes, and sometimes it's dinosaur chicken bites and alphabites.

The versatility of the human imagination will never cease to amaze Hob.

Dream eyes the platter of breaded wonder warily.

"Sometimes you need to feed your inner 8 year old," Hob says with a grin.

"I am certain you did not eat this as a child."

"Well, no. But I absolutely would have if it had been available, it's fun and delicious. And look! You can make words!"

He picks out HOB and then DREAM from the platter of letter-shaped potato bites and grins at the look of their names, side by side.

"Come on, just try one," Hob coaxes, biting the head off a dinosaur with a delightful chomp. They're not gourmet, it's true, but they are salty and crunchy and satisfying.

His colleague Annelise has two children Hob sometimes watches so that she and her wife can have some alone time, and because Hob is a pushover when it comes to children - and has been for centuries - he cooks dinosaur nuggets and alphabites more than he really should. It's where he picked up the occasional craving for them.

"I am reliably informed," Hob says, picking through the letters he purposely chose (it took two bags), "by some very smart children, that the most fun part is making naughty words with your sibling or mates without your mums catching on."

He starts forming words on the table in front of his plate, upside down so that Dream can easily read them from across the table, and watches as Dream cautiously tastes a dinosaur.

"Voila!" Hob exclaims, gesturing at his oven baked masterpiece.

BILL SHAXBERD IS A TWAT

-----

END

The internet informs me that dinosaur chicken bites do exist in England, so if they're not very common, a) please excuse this poor American, and b) I'm sorry, because dinosaur chicken nuggets and tater tots is sometimes a very delicious and satisfying meal.

Thanks to @fluffbruary for the prompt, and this is for @ladytian, who laughed about the idea with me this past weekend and then reminded me today was the day to write it.

[notallsandmen]

@cuubism @magnusbae

I said it was human au Dream, @cuubism said it was 1589 Hob, and that is precisely right.

[zapiarty]

Sandman - Dead Boy Detective

1389 - Dream & Death meet Hob Gadling; who refuses to die 1489 - Dream & Hob form their Arrangement 1589 - Hob brags about how good he's got it, with a wife, a son, riches and a knighthood. Dream decides to leave early upon meeting William Shaxberd 1689 - Dream waits for Hob's arrival, who is at his lowest point in his life thus far, Dream expects Hob to ask for death now and is surprised when Hob laughs in his face and says "Death is a mug's game, I've got so much to live for!" 1789 - Dream warns Hob against getting involved with the Slave Trade, Lady Johanna Constantine interrupts their meeting, Hob comes to Dream's rescue briefly which amuses him 1889 - Hob wants to learn things about Dream, dares to suggest he's lonely and that they are friends, Dream storms off in a huff declaring he doesn't need Hob's company

1916 - Edwin Payne dies via ritual sacrifice to Hell by classmates at 16 - The Corinthian begins his mayhem in the Waking World - Dream of the Endless is captured & imprisoned by Roderick Burgess 1917 - Sleeping Sickness officially acknowledged - Unity Kincaid remains asleep

1926 - Ethel Cripps becomes Roderick Burgess' mistress - Roderick has his son Alex kill Jessamy the Raven - Ethel gets pregnant, steals the helm, sand, and ruby and flees - Roderick dies, Alex decides not to free Dream like he'd promised 1927? - Ethel Cripps gives birth to John D

? - Ethel bargains away the helm to a demon, sells the sand

1989 - Edwin Payne escapes Hell - Hob Gadling waits for His Stranger but he does not arrive (As Dream is still held captive in the Burgess' Estate) - Charles Rowland is murdered by classmates via hypothermia & internal bleeding at 16 in December of '89 - Edwin is there for Charles to ease his death; Charles decides to stay with Edwin instead of going with Death - Some point Edwin & Charles form the Dead Boy Detectives

1994 - Infamous Puppy Debacle (Charles got too attached to a living puppy?)

March 22, 1994 - Devlin Murders occur in Port Townsend, Washington

1997 - Great Fenwick Pixie Escape (puts Edwin at a loss)

2006 - Great Chewing Gum Debacle (stressor for Edwin?)

2015 - Rose Walker & her little brother Jed are split when Rose and their mother Miranda move but her father refuses to let Jed leave with them

2020 - Lyta's husband Hector dies via a car accident, Rose's ill mother dies near the end of the year

2021 - Dream/Morpheus is released & searches for his tools to rebuild the Dreaming - Unity Kincaid wakes the moment Dream is released - Johanna Constantine purchases the sand but left it at a girlfriend's place when she left her 6 months prior (resulting in her death via the sand) - Dream faces Lucifer in Challenge for his helm; wins & humiliates Lucifer - John D uses the Ruby to nearly destroy the world in an attempt to make a better one; causing mass destruction and death, destroys the ruby in an attempt to destroy Dream and replace him but this only returns the stored power to Dream in full

8 Months later: - Death & Dream have a talk, Desire & Despair plot to knock Dream's ego down as Desire's previous attempts failed (Nada, Roderick Burgess); focus turns to Rose Walker (Desire's Great-Granddaughter) - Dream reconnects with Hob at The New Inn; 30 years late but acknowledging their friendship - Rose Walker is the Vortex and looking for her brother Jed who dreams of being The Sandman (thanks to Gault) - Unity Kincaid asks Rose to meet her in London to reveal she's her Great-Grandmother (the Great-Grandfather being her Gold Eyed Man aka Desire) - The Corinthian attempts to use her to create a New Dreaming - Lyta Hall gets pregnant from her ghost husband in the Dreaming; Dream banishes the ghost from his realm as Ghosts shouldn't be there - Morpheus collects all his lost Dreams & Nightmares; returns the Corinthian to his base form - Dream of a Thousand Cats - Calliope's most recent "owner" slips up and she is able to send a message to Morpheus who comes to free her (by driving the man who binds her insane with ideas)

Late 2022 - Crystal Palace & David the Demon enter into a relationship

2023 - Edwin & Charles take on the Case of Crystal Palace on behest of Emma the Ghost

- Becky Aspen case in Port Townsend, WA; meet Esther the Witch, get trapped in Port Townsend by the Cat King - Niko Sasaki & the Dandelion Sprites Case - February 17; The Devlin House Case (Charles' history brought up, meet Monty) - Case of the Lighthouse Leapers (Charles & Crystal kiss, Night Nurse fed to Sea Monster, Cat King taunts Edwin with Monty & Charles' likeness in an attempt to get a kiss) - Case of the Two Dead Dragons (Edwin realizes he's truly in love with Charles as he comforts Charles after a breakdown, Monty steals Edwin's first kiss thinking Edwin was talking about him) - Case of the Creeping Forest (Monty's betrayal, Crystal's Awakening) - Case of the Very Long Stairway; Edwin gets taken back to Hell & Charles goes after him, Edwin confesses he's in love with Charles - Edwin meets Despair and she decides they are "friends" now - Case of the Hungry Snake; Niko dies (?) saving Crystal from Esther Finch in an attempt to rescue Edwin & Charles - The Lost & Found Department of the Afterlife "officially" allows the Dead Boy Detectives to work cases to help them help ghosts cross over in exchange for allowing them to stay together on Earth

[delta-pavonis]

Fic: no more yielding than a dream

Dreamling (Dream of the Endless/Hob Gadling) || Explicit || 5k words || complete Midsummer Night's Dream references, Hob circa 1595, what if Will Shaxberd wrote Nick Bottom as an insulting reference to Hob, and then Dream sees the play, canon-typical mention of death during childbirth, Getting Together, First Time, Rimming, Overstimulation, Multiple Orgasms, Anal Fingering, poetry during sex, Dream can be a little eldritch, as a treat, they are idiots for each other

It is a fascinating moment for Dream, to realize that within this play he has commissioned is a mockery of his…  Hob had called him friend at the start of their last meeting. Even if Dream would not himself call that term first to hand in reference to Hob, he has no better option. Acquaintance certainly covers what Hob knows of Dream, but what of what Dream knows of Hob?

For @augbesian

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