#sharing this mostly because I was very surprised to find out this is her song

[arabela25]

Mimicat - Nobody Knows | 🇵🇹 Portugal | #EurovisionALBM

[these-written-reveries]

I have a special request

may we have a fluffy platonic oneshot for hawks w/ a reader with four angel wings where they’re a third year at UA but never got a date to prom, so he decides they deserve at least one dance and shows up as their date?

please and thank you 🪽

You absolutely may! I hope I did your request justice! You didn't specify, so I made Reader a hero course student. I know this is a platonic fic, but I can totally see the potential for a friends to lovers story here (don't mind me, I'm just a huge sucker for that trope lol). Thanks for the request! ❤️

Birds of a Feather

‣ Pairing: Keigo Takami/Hawks x GN!Reader (Platonic)

‣ Summary: Your good friend Hawks finds out you don't have a date to prom and decides to fix that problem himself!

‣ Genre: Fluff (angst, if you squint)

‣ Warnings: none

‣ Word Count: 2,042

‣ A/N: UA is considered a university in my fics. I know that universities generally don’t have proms, but this is fiction, so we can pretend whatever we want! Cue: UA third-year prom, feat. Hawks as a surprise guest! Let's go! (P.S. - I was listening to Words by Gregory Alan Isakov as I wrote this. I think it's a very nice song for slow dancing ♡)

➼ Main Masterlist ➼Keigo/Hawks Masterlist

If anyone were to tell you before that you’d end up becoming such close friends with the number two hero, Hawks, you’d never believe them.

To your past self’s shock, it had really happened. How exactly? You weren’t quite sure. Maybe it started on the first day of your internship? He immediately complimented your beautiful set of white tandem wings, asking you questions about them with pure awe and fascination in his eyes. You found it quite endearing of him.

Or maybe it was when you took down your first villain together and realized you made a kick-ass team? After that day, he immediately offered you a permanent position at his agency, once you graduated UA. You couldn’t have been more thrilled to receive this news from someone you had always admired and looked up to.

Perhaps it was after that, when you both bonded over your shared experiences related to having big wings in a mostly-wingless world? That day was one you would always think back on with fondness.

You told him a story about how, one time, you crashed mid-flight into a huge mud pit. You and your friend spent hours removing all the dried clumps between your feathers. He one-upped your story with one of his own, telling you about the time that he came home after fighting a villain with a petroleum oil quirk that had managed to coat his wings with the gooey substance, which made it nearly impossible to fly. After struggling for hours to remove it himself, with little success, he had to embarrassingly enlist the help of his assistant.

“I hope you have her a raise, after that,” you chuckled.

He joined you in your laughter. “Oh, I did. A very generous one, at that. She was a real trooper that day."

The two of you laughed a lot over your shared stories. Both of you were grateful to have a friend that understood the parts of yourselves that most others didn’t, especially Keigo, who barely had anyone he could call a true friend for almost his entire life. It was refreshing, being friends with you.

Because of this, he quickly grew to be extra protective of you, from the moment he took you under his wing. He kept close tabs on you and checked in on you whenever he had the time. It was always so nice getting to hear how things were going for you, how your grades were, and what the newest gossip was at UA. He’d always say, half-jokingly, that if anyone gave you trouble, he'd fly over and put an end to it immediately, which always got a laugh out of you. He just really enjoyed having "normal" conversations with someone about "normal" things, for once—especially since he never got to experience a lot of these things, such as public school or prom. It was fun getting to vicariously live through you, in this way.

Towards the end of his parole shift, he thought about you, wondering if you were having a good time at your prom that night. You had been looking forward to it for a while, telling him about what you planned to wear and who you secretly hoped would be your date. Last he spoke to you, you had yet to confirm an official date to the dance, but he was almost certain that problem was resolved by now. You were a wonderful person with gorgeous looks and an amazing personality, he had no doubt in your ability to acquire many “promposals”, or whatever the kids called it these days.

It wasn’t until he checked the recent post on your social media account that he realized you, in fact, did not have a date.

At first, he was utterly confused.

Why hadn’t you told him? He would’ve gone with you in a heartbeat.

Then, he remembered just how considerate of a person you were. He told you he’d be working late shifts all week and you likely didn’t bother to ask because of that reason.

He looked at the picture of you in your stunning prom outfit before checking the time. A sigh pushed past his lips as he took off into the sky, flying home as fast as he could.

Worst prom ever.

You felt like a total outsider at this place, despite being surrounded by familiar faces and music. Your friends all had dates and were busy having fun with them. Meanwhile, you busied yourself at the punch table, sighing as you poured yourself another cup. Some of the others without dates lingered in this corner of the large room, but none of them seemed all that keen on striking up a conversation with you. They all seemed to be too busy drowning in their own pools of boredom, longing, and self-pity.

You began to wonder why you even came to this event when you knew you didn’t have a date and your friends would all be too preoccupied with their own to entertain you. Well, you knew why, and it started and ended with a giant birdman by the name of Hawks. He had gifted you with a generous sum of money to buy yourself a nice outfit for prom after you had casually brought up in conversation that you were trying to save money for it. He refused to take it back, so you really didn’t have a choice but to use it. You ended up buying a gorgeous outfit that really complimented your wings. In the words of Hawks, you looked like an “ethereal angel”.

After buying the outfit and looking forward to the event for weeks, you couldn’t not go. Not without disappointing yourself, and probably Hawks too. He was always the one telling you that you needed to live life to the fullest and enjoy your experience at UA, while it lasted.

What you weren’t expecting was to feel so down and dejected, lingering by the punch table as you wistfully observed everyone else having fun like a lonely wallflower. You wanted to take Hawk’s advice and try to enjoy the moment anyway, but you found it too awkward to go out onto the dance floor without someone to dance with, and you weren’t too keen on asking someone you weren’t well-acquainted with to dance.

Still, you stole a glance at the other wallflowers in the corner, almost considering the idea.

You didn’t have a chance to, though, because you were distracted by the gasps and squeals of people all across the room. Following their eyes, you found the target of their attention to be a familiar red-winged man, in an unfamiliar looking outfit. An expensive-looking suit with a boutonniere pinned to the left lapel of his suit jacket. He flashed a charming smile and gave everyone a quick wave as his eyes scanned the room, finally landing on you.

You stared in shock as he walked over to you.

“Why, hello there, angel. Fancy meeting you here,” he said, smirking at your shocked expression.

“Hawks! What are you doing here?” you asked him with wide eyes.

He shrugged. “You know the saying, ‘birds of a feather flock together’? I heard my little chickadee was in need of a prom date, so naturally, I flew right over.”

You were aware of everyone’s eyes on you—something you had grown pretty used to after being with Hawks in public a good handful of times—but you were far too surprised to care as you looked him up and down.

“Your outfit. The colors match mine…”

“Of course they do. What kind of prom date do you think I am? I think what you mean to say is, I look handsome, right?” he teased.

You giggled at this. He always found a way to get you laughing with his witty remarks.

Nodding, you smiled up at him. “You do. Thank you for coming. You really didn’t have to do this.”

He gave you a small eye roll. “I wouldn’t be here unless I wanted to. And you deserve a proper prom experience. That said…”

Your eyes grew wide as he pulled out a beautiful corsage from behind his back. The flowers matched your outfit and his boutonniere perfectly.

"Hawks..." You couldn’t help the tears that began to build in your eyes.

"Oh, don't cry, angel! Your eyes will get all red and puffy! That's no good for prom pictures!" he said, brow scrunched in concern as he looked at you, partially wondering if he’d done something wrong, until you spoke.

"Sorry, it's just...nobody has ever done anything like this for me before. I was really thinking I'd be ending tonight on a bad note, until you showed,” you confessed, carefully wiping the underside of your eyes.

Keigo offered you a sympathetic smile as he stepped forward, holding out his hand, palm up. You held your left hand out to him and watched as he slipped the corsage onto your wrist.

"Well, let's make the most out of the time we have left. I know I kinda arrived last minute, but I also managed to make some arrangements for us that I think you’ll enjoy,” he said.

You looked at him, curious and confused. “What do you mean? Are we leaving?”

“Nope! We’re staying right here! Just us, the photographer, and the DJ,” he smiled, turning to look at the room, which was now completely empty, save for the two people he had mentioned.

How had you missed that?

“H-How?” was all that you could get out, as you looked around the room.

“The dance is technically over now, so I just extended our time a bit. Made a couple calls on my way here, bribed a few people, and here we are!” he explained, cheerfully.

You tried not to let your emotions get the better of you as you looked at him in astonishment.

“Hawks…I don’t even know what to say.”

He chuckled. “Well, I hope you’ll know what to say in response to my next question. There is only one right answer, so that narrows things down for ya’.”

You looked at him curiously, feeling a small pang of nervousness in your stomach as you awaited his question.

He bent forward into a bow, his eyes remaining locked with yours as he extended his right hand to you, his lips curved into a playful smile.

“May I have this dance?”

All nervousness instantly vanished and was replaced by pure giddiness as a bright smile overtook your face.

“Yes, you may,” you said, giggling as you placed your left hand in his.

He led you out to the middle of the dance floor and gave a nod to the DJ, who began playing a slow song through the surrounding speakers.

Turning to face you, Keigo gently grasped your right hand with his left, holding it near his chest. You smiled a bit sheepishly as you placed your free hand on his left bicep, just as he placed his right hand onto your middle back.

The two of you began to sway to the music. After a moment, you felt more at ease, finding that you seemed to move more naturally with each slow beat of the music.

You smiled at him. “I can’t thank you enough for doing all of this for me.”

Keigo earnestly returned your expression. “This is the least I can do for my special, feathered friend. I’m only sorry I couldn’t make it sooner.”

You scoffed. “Please. This is more than enough.”

“I’m glad you’re happy, angel.”

“I really am. Best prom ever,” you beamed at him.

Your contagious smile elicited a happy chuckle from him as he spun you around, being careful of your wings as he did so.

He pulled you back towards him and the two of you continued to dance together, laughing when you bumped him with your wings or when he accidentally stepped on your foot a little. You couldn’t have been happier, nor more grateful. Not only did you get the most perfect prom experience, but you got to spend it with your favorite red-feathered friend.

Like true birds of a feather, you knew you’d be flying together for a long time to come.

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‣ Have an idea for a fic you’d like me to write? Send me a request here. But first, make sure to read my Request Info!

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[chronicrabbit]

A Very Steddie Christmas

Listen. I had an idea.

It’s post-Vecna. Steve and Eddie are friends. Eddie has had a hopeless little crush on Steve for years, yada yada yada. The usual shit. You get the picture.

It’s mid December and Steve Harrington is hyped up for Christmas.

Steve had always been a Christmas fan. He lives for it; the tacky decorations, the twinkling lights strung up on every tree and house on the block, the joyous atmosphere, the warmth of a good cup of cocoa on a snowy Hawkins night.

Everything.

Steve loves Christmas, even more so now that he has a Family™️ to share it with!

So when he overhears Eddie talking to Gareth about how he’s:

“Never had an actual Christmas”

he knows his services are needed.

He makes it his mission to give Eddie Munson the best Christmas ever, despite Robin’s teasing looks and Dustin’s frown of confusion.

He starts it all off with inviting him over to decorate inside and out, mostly because he doesn’t particularly want to do it himself and Robin point blank refuses when he asks her.

It’s not the funnest holiday activity, but the end goal is worth it; that’s what Steve’d always thought, anyway.

The Harrington’s were not terribly festive people, but they were deeply prideful and competitive, so naturally there were about five shelves in their sizable garage packed full of lights, tinsel, baubles, and other more expensive pieces of decor purchased by a fuming and wine-drunk Claire Harrington after a single and very passive aggressive conversation with Mrs. Thompson across the street.

Steve and Eddie work for hours, ending in tinsel littering every available surface, a bent gutter from a very close call with the ladder, and a declaration of hatred for string lights, but the huge grin on Eddie’s face is undeniable as they stand side by side, clinking together their hideous holiday mugs of eggnog and rum as they survey the impressive product of their hard work.

It looks amazing.

Mrs. Thompson, eat your heart out.

His next step is to bake his Nonna’s red-hot cinnamon snickerdoodles, the ones she’d sneak him every Christmas when he was a kid before his parents decided visiting was too much effort, and to watch a few Christmas Classics.

The cookies were meant to be a surprise, but Eddie shows up an hour and a half earlier than he’d said he would with the movies Robin had set aside for him and finds Steve in the kitchen, hair pinned back, glasses on, and red knit sweater covered in flour despite the apron tied around his waist.

He finds he doesn’t so much mind the change of plans as he and Eddie dance around the kitchen to George Michael, Eddie grabbing the batter covered wire whisk for a compelling performance of “Last Christmas”, a song he very clearly knows none of the words to.

Once the cookies are safely tucked away in the oven, they make their way to the couch, sitting nice and close for extra warmth as “It’s a Wonderful Life” begins to play.

Eddie talks through the entire first part of the movie, and when they return from the short break they take to retrieve the cookies from the oven and divvy them out between the two of them along with two cups of steaming hot cocoa, he talks through the rest through his mouthful of cookie.

Steve’s never enjoyed that movie more.

The third step is a bit more of an impromptu thing, because when Steve wakes up to see a fresh layer of beautiful powdery snow on the ground, he basically has no choice but to round up the party for the worlds most epic snowball fight.

Eddie complains at first, but quickly changes his tune the moment Mike manages to nail him directly in the face with a snowball.

He leaps into action with a declaration of:

“Oh it’s on, Wheeler!”

No matter how much Dustin swears you can’t win a snowball fight, Steve and Nancy definitely take the victory that day between her killer aim and his brutal throwing arm.

They split up into groups after the fact for some more snowy day activities.

El, Max, Nancy, and Steve build a little snow family together, Mike, Lucas, Will, and Robin work exceptionally hard to craft a nice sturdy fort with packed snow and ice (they write out actual equations and dimensions that make Steve’s head spin), and Erica, Dustin, Eddie, Jonathan, and Argyle make a serious of increasingly more ridiculous snow angels, ending in the five of them just tackling each other over to see what shape it makes.

Everyone stays out until their fingertips and noses are bright red and numb, finally giving in and heading inside once the sun starts to set and fresh snow starts to fall.

They clamber into Steve’s house, bundling up in blankets and huddling in front of the fireplace together to watch, much to Steve’s chagrin, the He-Man Christmas Special from the year before that Dustin had recorded over an episode of Night Court (Claudia was still upset with him over it).

And he couldn’t lie to himself and pretend he didn’t know how close he was sitting beside Eddie on the couch; close enough that their shoulders were bumping together with each breath.

He also couldn’t pretend he wasn’t enjoying every single time Eddie would turn to face him, to share in the excitement of whatever was happening on the screen.

Steve hadn’t watched a single second of the movie, far too focused on the dimples that appeared whenever Eddie smiled that big sunny smile, or the crinkles that appeared likewise around his big brown eyes, or the small freckle just over his lip…

Oh.

Oh.

Well…

He’d have to adjust his plan just a little.

With that new information tucked safely away in his mind, his next step became very clear. Thankfully, he didn’t need a different gift idea than the one he’d already come up with, perhaps just a different method of delivery.

………

It’s the afternoon of Christmas Eve when he knocks on the door of Eddie Munson’s trailer, the only one in the park with a complete absence of Christmas decorations or, at the very least, a wreath or something.

Eddie answers with that heart stopping smile, dressed in a blue sweater Steve is 90% certain he snatched from Robin who stole it from him some time last year.

He doesn’t give Eddie much time to greet him, holding out a small green bag with a red bow.

“What’s this, Steve?”

Eddie’s eyebrows pinch together, his smile not quite dropped, more slanting into a look of gentle confusion.

“It’s a present. I couldn’t wait until tomorrow, so…”

Steve does a ‘here we are’ motion with his hands, pushing the present towards Eddie once again.

The movement seems to reactivate Eddie, who pulls Steve into the warmth of his living room with a shiver.

“You got me a present?” Eddie inquires the moment the door was closed behind them, protecting them from the bitingly cold air.

“Of course. Can’t have Christmas without the gifts, can you?” Steve laughs.

“Christmas,” Eddie repeats after him a bit dubiously.

“Yeah, I suppose you can’t,” he shrugs, as if he doesn’t know.

“Exactly, so!” Steve extends the bag towards Eddie once again, shaking it enticingly.

Eddie’s nose scrunches in that way it does when he’s very carefully considering something.

“Steve. As much as I appreciate the constant stream of hot cocoa and holiday cheer you’ve been bombarding me with for the past week, I gotta ask. What gives? Why are you doing all this?”

Steve sighs.

“Well, I…” he starts, licking his lips as he tries to sort out his jumbled thoughts before continuing.

“To tell the truth, I overheard you telling Gareth that you’ve never had a real Christmas before. I… I’ve always loved Christmas. It’s the only holiday my parents would stay home for- well, up until I turned 16, that is. So, I guess I just… wanted to give you one. A real Christmas, that is.”

Eddie presses his lips together into a thin line, his usually open expression strangely unreadable as he considers Steve closely.

He nods when he seems to come to a conclusion, reaching his hands out towards the little bag and clenching and unclenching his fingers as if to say:

“Gimme.”

Steve smiles and hands over the gift bag, his stomach turning somersaults like an Olympic gymnast.

Eddie tears through the tissue paper, sending it flying to litter across the carpet, until his fingers find the occupant of the bag; a single Polaroid.

He fixes Steve with a raised eyebrow before letting his eyes fall back down to take in the picture.

“Alright,” Eddie nods as if he’s trying to understand a joke, mirth-filled gaze landing back on Steve over the Polaroid.

“Ok, Stevie. Very funny.”

Steve can’t help the smirk that overtakes his own face.

“And it’s all yours,” he assures him, playing into the playful tone as he watches Eddie survey the snapshot of the guitar; a BC Rich Warbeast with a glossy black body and a cherry red flame motif.

“I’ll cherish it, Big Boy,” Eddie snorts good naturally, pressing the image to his chest with a dramatic little sigh.

“I sure hope you will,” Steve nods.

“It cost me most of my savings up front, and I still have payments to make on it for the next few months.”

Eddie eyebrows scrunch together at that, that puzzled look from before returning to his face as he pulls the picture back up to take a closer look.

“Steve, wha- this… is this in your living room in this pic- Did you…”

Steve watches as several emotions crossed Eddie’s face; confusion, bewilderment, disbelief, and then, finally, understanding.

“Steve…” he says in what’s barely a whisper, Steve leaning in a bit closer to hear him.

“Did you… did you actually…”

He can’t seem to finish the sentence, so Steve takes it upon himself to answer him.

“I know you’ve been missing your old one. It’s not the same, but it’s the closet I could find and it’s waiting for you under the tree at my place. I had to drive all the way to Indy for it, and it’s not new, but I checked it out and it’s only lightly used. The scratches were easy enough to buff out, and Jeff helped to make sure it was-“

Steve grunts at the sudden impact of a body against his, warmth flooding through him as Eddie wraps him up in the tightest hug he’s even been given in his life.

He can’t help the surprised laugh that escapes him, sputtering as some of Eddie’s hair gets in his mouth. He winds his own arms around Eddie’s waist, pulling him somehow closer and simply breathing him in.

“You are unbelievable,” Eddie breathes as he gives him a solid squeeze before pulling back, though he doesn’t relinquish his hold on Steve’s shoulders.

“So, I’m guessing you like it?” Steve asks through his smile.

“Like it? Stevie, I… I could honestly kiss you right now! You’re damn lucky there’s no mistletoe here, or else-“

Eddie’s words die out as Steve digs in his pocket, pulling out and raising up high above their heads a little sprig of mistletoe with the most charming smile he can muster.

He prays his nerves don’t show through as Eddie’s eyes meet his, wide with shock as they flicker back and forth between them and the mistletoe.

“Damn lucky,” Steve says, his tone steady with resolve even as his hand shakes.

In the next second Eddie’s lips meet his and it’s everything he could’ve ever dreamed of.

It’s everything every single cheesy little Christmas RomCom promises.

Magic.

When they finally part, both breathless and dazed and smiling like complete idiots, Steve tugs Eddie in close by his pilfered sweater.

“So? Was this a good first Christmas?”

Eddie’s eyebrows raise up and he honest to god giggles.

“Considering Christmas is tomorrow, I’d say it’s a pretty solid start.”

Steve allows himself a very John Bender-like fist pump, much to Eddie’s amusement as he pulls him into another kiss.

“As sweet as this is, Sweetheart,” Eddie whispers against his lips, hands fisting in the fabric of his sweater to hold him nice and close, which is lucky considering how hard Steve swoons at the word “sweetheart”.

“I feel the need to ask.”

“Anything,” Steve promises, nudging Eddie’s nose with his own as he presses a couple more gentle kisses against his grinning mouth.

“You know I’m Jewish, right?”

………

I might turn this into an actual multi chapter fic. Let me know if that’s something y’all would want!

[panthera-tigris-venenata]

Do they keep a diary/a journal?

Mal - yes, actually. But no gross feelings stuff, ew. Just drawings. ...Of various levels of "disturbing". (Peak being begining of D2, of course)

Jay - nah. Better stuff to do. Also lowkey paranoid it'll be stolen.

Evie - yes, technically, multiple. She keeps one journal to jot down what was when done to any potions she's brewing (the correct scientific procedure), her fashion one, of course, for whatever designs she dreams of, and lastly, one to note down orders and payments for her shop.

Carlos - nah. He's got a collection of loose papers with important and "important" info on them. His cousins still keep finding them in Hell Hall. Jay has to move them from his parts of the room regularly. Mal found papers stuck in between her journal.

Uma - no. WAY more important shit to do, and she finds it way too sentimental. She keeps records of stuff important for the running of her crew, but doesn't consider it a journal, rather a public record.

Harry - yes. To the surprise if absolutely no one, the thing he writes most about is Uma. There are several original songs and poems for her as well. He wouldn't mind if she found it.

Gil - I wanna say yes, he tries. He's not very consistent though. The only thing he writes about is his friends and crewmates – he accidentally puts it down in the common space of the ship often, and most of the crewmates picked it up once. Cos, y'know. You see, you take. If they read it, they began blushing furiously under the excited "My friends are SO cool" Gil wrote and gave it back to him without a word.

Claudine - once she stops living with her father, yes, though it took some convincing. She doesn't write regularly, though, because she just doesn't know what to write, and is afraid of putting her thoughts on the paper. Later, she writes poems in letters so small it's illegible, since poetry masks the true self a bit.

Harriet - yes. She writes regularly, though not a lot of feelings stuff. She writes poems and vague stories draws whatever comes to her mind (mostly abstract stuff) and keeps it tightly locked up in her cabin, since that shit is DARK. Smee twins accidentally found it once and Sammy kept complaining they were afraid of her drawings for two weeks straight.

CJ - ...she tries to. It never lasts more than two days in row. But she adds new disjointed entry every time she's reminded that her older siblings do so. It's actually extremely disturbing in different way than Harriet's since she has ZERO ability to self-censor.

Freddie - two. One for music and one for dreams and card readings.

Celia - one. Dreams and Cards and Friends on the other side. Though, technically, both sisters share another one, written in cryptic code and abbreviations and moved from place to place with regularity but without a set schedule. This one is about secrets of the Isle residents, the ones they bother or dare to write down.

Dizzy - I wanna say yes, actual diary, feelings and all. To utter exasperation of all her older relatives.

Anthony - no, keeping tabs on the salon is enough, thank you.

Dulcia - look, my girl deserves a Burn Book.

Ginny - not really. If she absolutely NEEDS something noted down, she tells Anthony. Exception being medical notes at the Escape but she delegates paperwork away any time she can. Also, I feel like her handwriting is borderline illegible to anyone but her and the three people she shares mental disturbances with (Maddy, Anthony, Harriet)

Maddy - she keeps tabs on the Apothecary and like Evie, writes down the shit she's synthetising. It's only correct to do.

Ivy - Yeah she gets a burn book too. She deserves it <3. It's in one notebook with scraps from fashion magasines and and some kaligrams. (Again, that's a form of self-censure. Can't read it, so it isn't there.)

I think I ran out of Isle kids, so AKs (all regarding a diary):

Audrey - canonically she does, I have nothing else to add.

Ben - he tries to, but he doesn't manage to write regularly, what with being a CHILD KING and all. It's healthy for him tho. Took the habit from his mother.

Chad - I refuse to believe this boy has a diary. He views it as "useless" and "too feminine".

Jane - yes, actual diary full of feelings. Starting each entry with "dear diary". She locks it religiously though, since her mother can and will read it if give an oppurtunity to.

Ally - yes and frankly it should be studied and/or published (with different names for the sake of privacy, but i'd pay a lot to read a diary of Ally Liddel of Wonderland)

Lonnie - ...no. she tried to, few times, but never quite managed more than few entries in a row. She doesn't particularly like sitting still, and fancies the thought of someone actually reading what she thinks about certain stuff even less.

Jordan - ...she uses her blogs and vlogs as a diary. The more private ones. Not her Drama Channel.

[jhilsara]

I Can See You

Pt. 1/ Pt. 2/ Pt. 3/ Pt. 4/ Pt. 5/pt. 6/Pt. 7/Pt. 8/Pt. 9/ Pt. 10/

Pt. 11/ Pt.12/Pt.13/Pt. 14/Pt.15/Pt.16/Pt.17/END

Mariana Jimenez-Watson or MJ works in a normal pub living life paycheck to paycheck. Nothing exciting happens to her except the occasional drunk getting thrown out. She's 24 working away and finds a wrench thrown into her very boring life. His name is Hobie and she thinks maybe, a little excitement isn't awful. In fact she might start to crave some change for once.

Small moments of Hobie meeting his world's MJ. AKA I made an MJ variant and I think she's neat.

Chapter 13

Hobie’s over and they’re both just lounging on her couch. It’s a rare day she has off and so far, nothing crazy has happened to set off Hobie’s police scanner. He had been coming over more often. When he's not at her flat, she’s managed to wiggle her way onto his house boat a time or two. It’s nice for them to hang out and it not be at her place of work. Not that she doesn’t enjoy the pub, but she can’t have any intimate moments with Hobie.

Not that she’s trying to be intimate with Hobie, but they’ve definitely been touchier as of recent…

By touchy she means actively kissing her friend, who she doesn’t think she’s dating and doesn’t want to ask if they are. Mostly because she doesn’t know how she would even want him to answer.

Which is why instead of over analyzing her feelings for her best friend she’s instead choosing to push it under the surface and try to just enjoy the moments she does have.

She’s laying on the couch but her legs are drapped on top of Hobie’s. One of his hands sits in between her thighs, just holding her in place. His other hand is lazily drumming a soundless tune on her leg. His attention only half on the television playing in the background. His full attention is really on her as she tries to curate a perfect playlist for them.

“Should I organize it in a specific order or just let it shuffle?” She asks mindlessly as she’s scrolling through her music.

“It’s a classic mixtape if ya plan it out yea? Make the order matter right?” He hums to her in suggestion.

“Mmm I didn’t think about it like that. Oh!” She has an idea and sits up to look at him better. “What if we did it like a real mix tape? Side A and Side B, but like we curate one side each.” She says with a bright smile.

He nods in agreement, “I like that. So that’s ten songs each yeah?”

She makes a small noise of satisfaction and plops back down. “Let’s put them on a separate playlist and we can share them together when it’s done, it’ll be a surprise.” She suggests.

They had been doing this for the past couple of hours, just sharing music. MJ suggested they make a playlist to share with each other. It’s escalated into this mixtape.

She’s tapping away on her phone scrolling through song after song, “I don’t know if it’s harder or better that I only get to pick ten songs…” She murmurs to herself.

Hobie’s just watching her with a small smile tugging at his lips. It’s a real peaceful moment between them.

“Choices, choices, choices.” He whispers back leaning toward her.

She looks up from her phone to see him hovering over her with a smile. She pulls her phone against her chest.

“No cheating! It’s not fair if you look before I’m done. That ruins the point of sharing music.” She says giggling.

He rolls his eyes but backs away, keeping his hands on her thighs. “Fine fine, I won’t look.” He leans back into the couch and starts tapping an unknown rhythm against her leg.

Her face scrunches up as she looks through her songs, trying to find the songs she relates to. She is nervous about sharing her stuff with him though… Hobie actually writes and performs music. It’s a small added pressure she wasn’t expecting.

Hobie moves one of his hands to grab her cheek, making her look up at him.

“Relax, you’re thinking too hard about it.” He tells her in a soothing voice.

She rolls her eyes but gives him a soft smile, “I know but, I don’t know, I feel like I’m thirteen and you’ll be hyper critical over my music taste.” She mumbles.

He looks at her with a straight face, “I will be hyper critical.” He says in faux seriousness.

“Oh, piss off!” she laughs shoving him away. She readjusts herself to sit up and face him. “That’s not helpful.” She jokes.

He rolls his eyes, “MJ it’s fine. Whatever you put on there won’t change how I feel about ya. Relax.” He gives her a toothy smile and musses her hair.

She bats his hands away and frowns, “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

He grabs her waist and pulls her to his lap, wrapping his arms around her and slotting his head on her shoulder. “It’s fiiiiiiiiiiine promise.” He presses a kiss to her cheek drawling out his words. 

She turns to look at him relaxing into his hold. She hums in satisfaction at his response.

“Okay, I need to get up or I’ll get sleepy like this.” She tells him starting to wiggle.

He groans in response and locks his arms around her, “Too late, I’ve trapped ya with my superior spider strength.” He tells her jokingly.

She laughs and tries to worm her way out of his hold. “That’s not fair!” She groans in response pushing down on his arms. Which are definitely not budging.

He just grunts as a reply and keeps his hold on her, his laugh vibrating down her back. It sends a chill through her spine.

She opens her mouth to respond to him but before she can they both hear the buzz of the police radio. Hobie sighs and shoves his face into her back, groaning in annoyance.

They both listen in and catch something about a break in down a block of locally owned storefronts.

He releases his grip on her, “Can’t steal from the giant corporations like the rest of us, gotta be the mom and pop shops.” He mutters under his breath.

She just chuckles in response and turns to face him, giving him a soft kiss.

“Guess you better go then tiger.” She says softly.

His face heats up, “That’s new.” He chuckles a bit looking down at her.

Her face burns red, “Do you not like it?” she asks now a little embarrassed.

“No, no, no! I liked it, just different is all.” He chuckles nervously.

“Oh my god, okay, go go! Moments over.” She covers her face in embarrassment.

He smiles and tugs her hands away pressing a soft kiss to her, “It’s cute, like it.”

He pulls away quickly and backs up to her balcony, pulling on his spider mask, “I’ll be back, promise.” He tells her shooting a web and diving off her balcony.

She rushes over to door and shouts after him, “You better come back!”

She sees him wave back to her before he’s gone from her sight. She sighs and fidgets for a moment before walking back to her couch.

She opens her phone and starts shuffling through her music.

Hobie comes back to her flat, tired and with a sore back. Upon entering he notices she’s laying on the couch. He tries to not make much noise and peaks over the couch to see her passed out, phone in hand and music softly playing.

He gives a soft snort and gently pries her phone from her hands. He opens it and sees she’s been meticulously crafting her portion of their shared mixtape. He grins to himself and starts the playlist from the start. He’s too enamored by the thought of her sitting here the whole time fussing over what songs she was going to pick, it has him grinning from ear to ear.

He sits and listens to the playlist in order, it only take around forty minutes, give or take. He sits on the edge of the couch running his hand lazily through MJ’s hair, she doesn’t move except to turn over once.

She’s a deep sleeper and he’s thankful for that right now. He’s crafting his half of the mixtape as the music pours from her speakers. He’s jotting them down in his head. It’ll be a pleasant surprise when she finds it.

Once he’s done listening he takes her phone and adds his own half. Some songs are easy to add, others he had to think on a little bit. One just makes him chuckle a bit and he doesn’t hesitate to add it.

He finishes adding his half and looks over it, checking it one last time to see if he wanted to make any changes.

He nods to himself and sets her phone down. He looks over to MJ on the couch and decides she should probably be in her bed, it was late.

He picks her up gently, nestling her in his arms. She makes a small noise but doesn’t wake up. She squirms for a moment pressing her face into his chest, searching for his warmth. He presses a soft kiss to her forehead and walks her to her room.

He lays her down and she rolls off of him easier than normal. She sighs and nuzzles into her pillow, getting more comfortable.

He covers his face turning away for a moment, finding the moment too sweet. He leaves her room and goes to take a shower. He knew he was going to stay at her place the moment they were lounging around all day. Her flat was just so comfortable…she was comfortable.

When MJ wakes up she’s in her bed and she feels strong arms around her waist. She turns to look over her shoulder and sees Hobie pressed against her. He’s wide awake and grins as he sees her looking at him sleepily.

“G’mornin’ sunshine.” He murmurs.

“What time is it?” She asks, her words slurring together groggily.

“Probably around one in the morning. Maybe later?” He whispers to her.

She sighs and nods her head. She wiggles herself so she’s facing him and wraps her arms around his waist bringing him closer to her. She shoves her face into his chest and mumbles something under her breath.

“What was that?” He asks amused.

She mumbles again, voice still too low and words mushed together for him to know.

“Missed you.” She says more clearly, looking up at him, face red.

He grins and moves one hand to pinch her cheek. “That’s cute, say it again.” He teases.

She groans and puts her face back into his chest, “Not happening.”

“Aww c’mon? You’re so cute when you get like this.” He grips onto her waist and rolls them so he’s on top of her. He looks down at her, with an amused smirk.

Her face is flushed as she looks up at him. “Stoooooop you’re so-” she rolls her eyes.

“So charming? Funny? Delightful?” He lists off with a chuckle.

She groans, “More like annoying.” She replies.

“Ouch!” He holds his hand over his heart in fake pain. He drops his weight onto her pinning her in place. “Ya wound me! My ego, it’s crushed!” he groans in pain.

She’s laughing but also shoving him off of her, “You’re the one who’s crushing me!”

“Guess I’ll just delete my half of the mixtape then, if I’m so annoying.” He goads grabbing for her phone.

She sits up and snatches it away from him. “What?! You added to it?” She’s immediately opening up her music and looking through what he’s added.

He’s smiling at her and shrugs his shoulders, “Ya had it open when you passed out.”

She whips her head to look at him, “Did you listen to it?” her eyes are wide as she looks at him, almost embarrassed.

He scratches the back of his head, “I did, couldn’t resist.” He leans forward to look at her closer, “Came back and you were napping phone in hand, music playin’… All I could see was your scrunched-up face trying to find the perfect songs.” He grins cheekily at her.

She shoves his shoulder lightly. “Can we listen to it together?” She asks softly.

He throws his head back and groans playfully. He wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her back down to lay in the bed. Nuzzling his face into her neck.

“So cute…” He mumbles into her. His breath fanning her neck, sending a shiver down her back.

“Hobie…” She drags out his name, almost in warning.

He hums and peaks up at her, “You’re just so cute, can’t help it.” He presses a kiss to her neck.

He pulls back and plucks the phone from her hand and presses play on the playlist. He moves her phone to her bedside table and drags her under the covers with him to snuggle. He slots his head back against her neck, arms clinging tightly to her waist. She in turn wraps her arms him and interweaves their legs together into a knot of limbs. Their breathing evening out as they listen to the music together.

They fall asleep to sound of each other’s hearts and shared songs.

Spotify Playlists can be found here: Mariana / Hobie

Please do not come for the music choices I made, I spent way to long on them and I stand by them. I will not take criticism on this, I will cry. I will add art to them later, but collectively this is about an hour of music.

Tag List: @missshelleyduvall

Message if you would like to be added to the tag list!

[cdragons]

Hey! I miss interacting with u, hope you are doing well :)

What is the song that will most describe farleighs and y/ns friendship?

Hey! This is really sweet, anon! THank you! I'm doing great, I have a ton of exams and projects with school that are kind of kicking my butt rn, but today's my birthday so I am excited to share that with my family!

This is a really tough one, mostly because I never expected this friendship to be so popular with everyone. Although I shouldn't be surprised because Farleigh Start was actually so superior in the movie.

Personally, I think these songs really fit them

Gimme More by Brittany Spears

Bad Girls by M.I.A

That's My Girl by Fifth Harmony (also works for Annabel and Y/N)

So What by P!nk

Is You or Is You Ain't My Baby by Louis Jordan and His Tympany Five (look up Marvelous Mrs. Maisel with this song and TELL me that this won't be the most amazing duet with the pair)

Let me know in the comments of your opnions!

I feel like this is a good opportunity to give off some headcanons to describe the vibes I get from Fareligh and Y/n! There are also just my personal headcanons of Farleigh and his story in my AU! I made up these with the help of my internet soulmate @ethereal-athalia!

Here are some headcanons of my personal take of Farleigh's backstory in my AU and in general:

Is it weird if I can see Fareligh coming from New Orleans, Louisiana? Because I can absolutely see him giving off those vibes. He would fit PERFECTLY as a New Yorker, but I can't help but feel he would thrive in the Crescent City.

Farleigh really misses the States, and a big part of the reason he parties so much is to forget how homesick he is. I find it very odd that we are given this extremely intelligent character who would no doubt thrive in an Ivy League like Yale, Harvard, or Brown, but he's stuck in England. James definitely could have just paid for his education there, so why send him to England? Furthermore, why does James cover him up so much? Is it really just because he's family?

Remember when Felix told Oliver that Farleigh got kicked out of every school in England bc he "sucked the teachers off"? First off, ew. Secondly, sure, Farleigh is a bit of a hedonist, but all of his behavior just kind of screams to me that he's really and genuinely unhappy in England and wants to go back. That might be a reason why he was so reluctant for Felix to get close to Y/N since Chapter 1 of 'Fuck Everything.'

Furthermore, it really bothers me how nonchalant Felix is about telling Oliver that piece of information. Even if he knows that Farleigh wouldn't really care, that is still very private information about a young boy who was taken advantage of by teachers who were in a position that allowed them to abuse their power.

Also, for a film that exposes so much about its characters, we really don't know a lot about Farleigh Start and his story, specifically his family in the States.

The part where Farleigh's mom is terrible with money and constantly needs handouts from her brother, James, is very realistic - that part, I believe. But I feel like there is a lot missing with his dad.

Was his dad actually as brutish and abusive as Felix said to Oliver? Personally, I don't really see it. Even at first glance, the way Farleigh carries himself is leagues different from the rest of the Cattons. He's observant and takes in details. He uses all this information as a weapon for any opponent he goes up against.

In my opinion, I could absolutely see Farleigh's dad being a completely normal and decent person with a job as a librarian or English professor. This idea is mostly stemmed from when Fareligh made the 'thus' argument against Oliver's essay at the beginning of the movie, and this seems like something Farleigh knows as if being explained about it from a very early age.

The reason I think his father is ill-portrayed is because I feel like Farleigh's mother met him while she was in America and was intrigued by his unassuming self and married him. But then she got bored because she wasn't living the high and expensive life she was living in England with her family.

Eventually, she got bored and decided to use Farleigh as an excuse to get money from James. Farleigh's dad might have wanted custody of his son but was threatened by his ex-wife that he would never see his son again.

Farleigh is aware of his mother's toxic tendencies, but she's his mother and he loves her anyway. He know she's leeching off of him to get to her brother. But what are his other options? Let her fend for herself?

This is probably so far-fetched and a huge reach, but the Cattons are portrayed as people who love to feed off their own sense of entitlement over others by showing of 'generous' and 'charitable' they are to take of other people. When anything bad happens to them, they wear it like a trophy. Maybe that's what happened with Farleigh?

NOW! Onto Farleigh and Reader (also ft. Michael Gavey bc he's bb):

Being around Y/N is like being at home for the first time in forever (cue Frozen song) for Farleigh. When they start talking, Y/N is extremely skeptical of his intentions because she thinks that he's just trying to help out Felix. But nope! He just wants a genuine friend.

Y/N makes it clear to Farleigh from the beginning that if he wants to be friends with her, he needs to be friends with Michael. Michael Gavey and Y/N L/N are a package deal. You want one? You get the other.

Farleigh keeps his friendship with Reader a secret from Felix and is helped by Annabel (our girl got a taste of true kindness, sees Felix Catton for the leech he is, and is now part of the Y/N protection club)

With Y/N, he doesn't feel the need to party or drink until he gets alcohol poisoning to have a good time. He learns to have quiet nights doing homework or playing stupid board games with made-up rules.

Michael and Y/N introduce him to DnD, and he's the classic Bard player who rolls for charisma and ends up f*cking his party out of danger every time. Michael is a paladin, and Y/N is a monk, in case you were wondering.

Y/N sometimes uses Farleigh to model for some of her portraits. She learns to appreciate him because she and Michael do need to be reminded sometimes that it's okay to cut loose at times and that spreading their wings won't kill them.

Y/N and Farleigh definitely geek out over art history and literature (symbolism, plot holes, motifs, etc.) and are BIG soul and blues fans. When they all hang out in Y/N's dorm, they will be listening to James Brown, Ella Fitzgerald, and Ray Charles till dawn.

Y/N is someone whom Farleigh can have actual mind-stimulating conversations with in a manner that's respectful but also wildly entertaining. They will discuss everything from rousing debates about politics and current events to philosophical queries about the omegaverse and mpreg.

Michael pretended he wasn't a fan until they caught him singing along to 'Hit the Road Jack' and they never let him forget it.

Also, Farleigh is a MAJOR Michael Gavey x Y/N fan. He wants them to get together SO BADLY! But he won't do this in a productive/uncomplicated way. Nonononono, he plans to make the most convoluted, dramatic, and needlessly complicated schemes to get these two nerds together for his own amusement. *Nudge* *Nudge* *Wink* *Wink*

Real talk though, Fareligh genuinely loves Y/N and her presence as a friend. He has all these expectations placed on him and fake friends who only want to be around him for his cousins. To be around someone who not only misses home like him but also truly appreciates him as an individual and not as a commodity for networking means the world to him.

If Y/N ever does go to Saltburn for the summer (*foreshadowing*), Farleigh will do everything in his power to make sure she won't get sucked into his relatives' fake and shallow schemes.

Also, as a bonus, he loves ranting and trash-talking Oliver with Y/N and Michael. It's like free therapy with better snacks because Michael always brings candy.

These are all the ones I can think of for now, but let me more in the comments or in my ask box if you want more! It really means so much that you guys love this AU so much!

Let me know if you want to be tagged in the comments for future Saltburn AU stuff!

"Fuck Everything, But Mostly Fuck You" Masterlist

Tagging: @ethereal-athalia, @arcielee, @valeskafics, @asa-do-your-thing, @aphroditesmoon, @axelsagewrites, @the1999kid, @poolnoodlerescuer, @aemondsbabe, @@winterblu2, @abaker74, @whereismymindnow, @agustdeeyaa, @iamavailablesstuff, @bonnieblue0606, @st-eve-barnes, @@nyxthoughtss, @immyowndefender, @@ilovemydinoboi, @ahristata, @cxp1d, @jinsoulorbitzen12, @temptation-waits, @bollzinurmouth, @jcngw0ns, @seababehh, @destinydestnation, @lankyboi4, @mindless-rock, @cassavacake, @paradisepoison, @@pansexualpamandabear, @erikasurfer, @@lissamans, @cookielovesbook-akie, @thesmutconnoisseur, @izzyisstuff, @lariisouz, @mioshasworld, @themorriganisamonster, @bre99, @babypinkditto

[widow-maximov]

Hi, can I request a Nat x fem!reader oneshot where the reader is singing Russian songs she's heard from Natasha's playlist while doing mundane tasks ie paperwork, washing up dishes etc. The reader not knowing a lot of Russian doesn't realise how explicit the songs are just casually sings them in front of the whole avenger's team splitting the group with the members who can speak Russian finding it hilarious and those who can't just thinking it's a good song and Natasha's just sat there with a whole array of mixed emotions but is mostly impressed with how well the reader is singing.

Thanks in advance :)

Russian Songs

Pairing: Natasha x Reader

Warning: The usual tags I don’t really know what other tags would go here, just enjoy :3

Summary: After being moved away from missions and doing everyone's chores. You wanted to be more productive, but was that a good choice?

Word count: 2.7k

A/n: So I couldn't find any explicit songs per say, but I hope this song will work, it's very hard to look for songs in another language, anyway I hope yous enjoy.

My requests are always open so feel more than welcome to pop in a suggestion for the next story :3

⸻⸻⋙☸⋘⸻⸻

You were known to be a singer, well that's around the compound of course, you weren't brave enough to sing in front of thousands of people.

You loved singing all your life but your passion for doing good was too strong and it won over your life. If you were honest, not many knew about your singing ability.

It's not like you would be parading around and singing, it was mostly when you were doing mundane tasks, or when no one was around. It was like your little secret you didn't want to share with the group.

Even after dating Natasha for 2 years, she still had no clue you could sing and she was a spy so that was surprising, that was until recently..

During training with your redhead girlfriend, she has been putting light music but most of it was in Russian, meaning you couldn't understand anything.

It almost sounded like a challenge to you, to learn that song by heart and because it was catchy so you wanted sing it properly and just enjoy what it meant.

But that was exactly that, you didn't understand it so you didn't know what you were learning, even though that didn't stop you, you still learnt it- Well some of the words.

Somehow you ended up doing all of the chores in the tower, actually there was a reason, Natasha along with Tony came up with a 'punishment' for you.

Your own girlfriend came up with a punishment for you, it was because you ended up surrounded by hydra men, who had you tied up and ready to transport as way to kidnap you and use you to get out what they wanted for the Avengers.

It wasn't even your fault, Shields information was misleading that you ended up in the wrong section of the building, with tooo many armed men and you knew you didn't have a chance so you were glad when Steve along with Bucky were sent to help.

That's how you ended up doing months of cleaning, instead of missions, meaning you cooked, cleaned like washing up, paperwork of your teammates.

Natasha was nice enough to leave her own paperwork to herself to not over work you but that didn't mean you weren't tired, of course you stopped training with her as a way to show her you were mad at her.

But still the redhead knew, you wouldn't be mad for too long. When she found out that you were near to being kidnapped, she got scared.

The love of her life was in danger and she couldn't even save you. That's what got to her, that was the reason why she agreed to the punishment.

It kept you off the missions for a while, she knew you would be safe at the tower. Even if you were mad at her, giving her a cold shoulder most of the day, she knew you were safe.

Eventually she was going to talk to you, when things cooled off a little. But seeing how tired you were every night made her feel bad. She done this to you, with good intentions.

But maybe you didn't see it like that. Natasha never overthought before, she was there in the moment. But with you, she was afraid of losing you.

She loved you, so the thought of you getting brutally beaten, whilst she was so far away from you was taking a big toll on her. Seeing you clean and do everything else was easy to watch. To know that you were there.

That's what was happening right now. Everyone including you were in the living room. Well you was cleaning with headphones on, as after doing so many chores for months. You eventually got bored and just started to listen to music.

Helped to kill your time a little, whilst learning songs that you wanted to know. Being with the Russian has taught you some words. So whenever you heard a similar word you smiled, humming it silently.

Your back was to the door whilst you were washing up. In that moment the team went silence and your singing was exposed to everyone who had ears. Natasha's brows raised in amusement as she listened to what you were singing.

Everyone turned around to look at you. Half of the team understanding what you were singing and half was looking with confusion.

Tony was first to speak up. "Is she singing a Russian song?" He questioned as she looked over at Natasha.

She simply nodded with a big smile across her lips, she didn't know that her girlfriend was this talented. Thor smirked. "If my girlfriend sung like Y/n, I wouldn't even let her stop. I bet you are the same Natasha."

She would definitely beg you to sing for her many times if she knew that you could. She knew that you would be embarrassed about it but still follow through.

She still kept quiet as she listened carefully to your words. "Я заливаю глаза керосином...Пусть всё горит, пусть всё горит ( I fill my eyes with kerosene. Let it all burn, let it all burn )"

She nearly choked on the song choice that was spilling out of your mouth. Yelena, along with Clint, Thor and Bucky, looked over at Natasha for some sort of explanation. But there was none.

Yelena laughed, as she stared at her sister when you sang the words. "Выхожу на улицу гладить кота. А его переезжает тачка мента (I go outside to pet the cat. And he's being run over by a cop's car.)"

Shaking her head in disapproval. "What have you taught this poor innocent girl."

Natasha frowned. "That wasn't me. I mean I listened to this song whilst we trained but I didn't know she could sing it."

Tony was having the time of his life whilst he nodded his head at your singing. "Whatever it is, I love it. She will sing at the next event I have."

Natasha shook her head, knowing that when you find out what that songs means you'll be embarrassed to even face the team. Bucky smirked as he nodded his head. "I think that song suits you Natasha, maybe next time explain to your girlfriend what she is trying to sing."

You tried to sing the song perfectly but not knowing what it meant you mumbled most of the lyrics. Carol walked in as her jaw opened to hear the song leak out of your mouth.

"Why is everyone laughing? Someone tell her what she is saying." Carol walked over after waving at you with a fake smile.

Natasha sighed as she knew it had to be her. She nodded as she stood up, making her way towards you. Wanda rushed in as she heard it as well. Finding it all amusing at how you didn't even know what you were saying. Vision appeared, literally everyone was there. Tuning in on your conversation with the Russian.

Natasha gently tapped your shoulder, you looked over, saw her and went back to listening to the song. She sighed, yeah you were still mad at her.

She got closer, pressed herself against your back, taking the cloth out of your hand and the plate that you were wiping clean. Placing it all down as she spun you round to face her.

For a moment you forgot what you were mad about, this is the closet you two have been since the day you received punishment. Your hands hesitantly fell on her shoulders, whilst she took the headphones out.

"Y/n.. Sweetie.. Stop singing." She tried to say it nicely, but she set you off.

You narrowed your eyes at her. "Not only you ground me in the tower but now you're also telling me what to do."

"You know.. This is my choice if I want to sing or not. You can't tell me what to do." That was sometimes the issue with you. Instead of listening to why she said that. You put up walls and tried to deflect any attack on you.

She sighed as she placed her hand over your mouth, the other sat firmly on your hip. You loved when Natasha was dominant with you, it made her look a lot more sexier but not when you were angry.

"Not because I am trying to control you... But because you don't know what you are singing.." She approached it another way. She had to embarrass you for you to understand what she meant.

You swallowed thick at her words, eyes widen in fear at what your girlfriend was saying. So, she continued. "Have you even tried to look up the translation of the lyrics?"

You shook your head after Natasha took her hand away, this was on the Russian. She should've told you what it meant whilst yous were training. But she was so distracted by you and your body that songs just slipped her mind.

Her eyes darted towards the team, who somehow had popcorn appear in their hands. She narrowed her eyes at Wanda, who simply shrugged as she shoved more popcorn in her mouth.

That's when you got the hint that everyone heard you. Fear set when you looked over. You looked back at the redhead who had a cold expression across her face.

"Let me go. I need to go." You were slightly panicking, you never had anyone listen to you singing, you kept it quite quiet from literally everyone you knew.

Natasha's face softened up as she saw your panic. "Y/n it's okay-"

But you interrupted her. "Let. Me. Go." Your eyes flashes red and she moved away, causing you to storm out. Making the redhead sigh as she leaned back on the counter.

Moving to look at the team who now was looking anywhere but at Natasha. She rolled her eyes at them as she followed you out. It was easy to tell where you had wondered off. I mean she was your girlfriend after all.

As you sat on the balcony edge, looking down at the city. Natasha slowly made her way over to you. "Y/n.." She spoke softly, trying to get your attention so you don't get startled.

You sighed as you heard her, you knew she would follow you out here. "You know the whole point of walking out is not to be followed." You were bitter with right reasons.

It wasn't just the singing, it was the unresolved feelings that you both held. She knew that, she wanted to say something about it all the time but it never left her mouth.

She hummed softly, acknowledging your words. "I followed you out because I care Y/n."

You scoffed, rolling your eyes at her words. "I wonder where those words were, when I was punished for being the victim."

She knew you were right, how was she suppose to explain her feelings to you? It was all difficult but she had to. She took a deep breath. Looking at your side profile as she moved her hand over to yours. Gently taking it and intertwining it together.

"детка, I know you are mad. I would be too but I didn't do it if I didn't feel like it was necessary." Maybe it was the way she worded it, but that only made you more angry.

Your head snapped towards her, almost making her take a step back. "You're making decisions for me? Wasn't you the one who promised me that we would both take decisions as you never wanted me to feel the way you felt in the red room?"

That stung, but you were right. Natasha promised exactly that and she broke that when she decided your own fate. She sighed, feeling how you snatched your hand away.

Jumped off the edge and tried to make your way back inside the building, but Natasha had different plans for you. "I did what I did because I was scared."

Her words made you stop, you were still facing away from her but kept quiet so she could continue. "When I received the information that you were no where to be found. That your weapons along with most of your clothes were left at the scene. I thought I was going to die from how much fear I felt."

You never heard Natasha's voice that unsure. Her tone was always gentle and quiet when she opened up to you. Now you were facing the door as she spoke with an upset tone.

"It felt like the world stopped for a moment. The first thing I wanted to do was to rush over there but Nick stopped me. They knew that if I went everything could go even worse." She explained as her voice broke several times.

"I can't imagine my life without Y/n, how was I suppose to think straight when you were kidnapped. I knew you were scared I couldn't even be there." Tears were streaming down her face.

"I knew the second we found you, in that state of barely any conconse, I knew I needed you safely here. Where I could keep my eye on you."

"I know that I should've spoke to you about all of this, but I couldn't.." Her tone was just above a whisper. Yet you could hear her.

You turned your body around to face her. Tears sitting tightly on the edge of your eyelids as you stared at her. Maybe you didn't think this through.

Maybe you should've spoke to her after everything. You were so busy with trying to get over the traumatic experience that you didn't think how that impacted her.

The woman that you love with your whole heart. You were busy being angry at her for not comforting you when you needed it, when in reality it was both of you that needed each other.

A light sob came out of your mouth as you walked over to Nat. Hugging her tightly and melting almost instantly in the embrace. You missed her and you knew she missed you too.

No words were needed at this moment whilst she held you tightly against her. Like she haven't seen you for a long time.

You both were crying but you pulled yourself together. Pulling away as you looked at her. Sandwiching her face between your hands. "I'm sorry."

Her soft expression melted your heart and to be fair, if the Russian was honest. You were the only one who made her this open about her feelings.

She shook her head slightly with a small smile across her lips. "No, I am sorry."

You sniffled as her hands sat on your hips, holding you against her quite close. You could tell that she was telling the truth. You never had to doubt her from the way her eyes only looked for yours.

"I want to kiss you." Natasha choked out, letting a set of tears slowly roll down her cheek.

You smiled as you pressed your forehead against hers. Closing your eyes as you felt her breath hit your lips ever so gently. "What are you waiting for?"

She didn't need to say anything else, because thats all she wanted to do for the past months of you being angry. She wanted you close and just to feel your warmth against her lips.

She leaned in slowly as her lips brushed against yours. Feeling how soft your lips felt was really testing her. She missed you so much. Everything about you.

Zero thoughts were in both of your minds as all that you were really focused on, was feeling Natasha. Her hands tightly holding you, her lips against yours as you tried to keep your breath steady.

She pulled away just a little bit as she muttered out. "I love you" Before her lips collided with yours before you had the chance to say it back.

A slightly protest moan escape your mouth, you wanted to say it back but Natasha didn't let you. Her hands sliding around your body. Not letting you out of her arms.

The emotions changed quite quickly but could you blame yourself? You missed each other very much and being in her arms was the only place that felt like safety you needed right now.

Your fingers tangled in her hair and thats the only thing that was on your mind. The warmth-ish air breezing past the two of you as your embrace became more intimate.

That's what you loved about being with her. The power that you two can over come anything that stood in your way....

And make out whilst you are at it.

⸻⸻⋙☸⋘⸻⸻

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[totesnothere04]

Unexpected Turn of Events Pt. 3

Tonowari x Fem!Reader

I do not own any fanart or screenshots used with my stories.

Warnings: Will not be 100% right with the events of ATWOW. Things are definitely not worded the same. Js.

Pt.2 here. Pt.4 here.

It had been weeks since you started being taught by Tonowari. Things had been going smoothly and you were learning in an accelerated rate. Right now you were making your way back to your marui after a day full of training. Mostly learning to ride a tsurak, because Tonowari has decided he feels that you're almost ready. He'd been giving you lessons on how to properly mount and keep hold of the beast. You had to admit that they were beautiful up close, and you were starting to feel comfortable around them. You were pulled from your reverie when you heard the horns sounding, and Tsireya rode past you on her ilu.

"Everyone our brothers and sisters have returned!" She called out and everyone started to jump into the water. You were watching with a small smile when Tonowari appeared infront of you on his tsurak.

"(Y/n) ride with me and meet my spirit brother." He said and you couldn't deny him. You had become very close to him in the time he had been teaching you. You sat behind him and wrapped your arms around his midsection. The two of you made your way to the tulkun and Tonowari got off of his tsurak to greet one. You assume it was his spirit brother from the happy interaction between them. Tonowari gestured to you and motioned for you to approach. You do so and he turns back to his spirit brother. He lets out a loud cry and Tonowari's smile is so wide it seems like he might split his face in half.

"Yes. Eywa and Ronal have blessed me." He signed to his brother who responded with another loud wail. "Yes, she is very beautiful.-" They continue to converse but the sound of a lonely song that you understood rang in your ears. You look around and find the source of the song. You go up to the surface for some air and then dive back down to the tulkun in question. She was beautiful and she had a calf with her. She seemed surprised when you swam up directly beside her and waved hello.

"Are you alright? I heard your cries from over there and wanted to make sure you were okay." You signed and she seemed to look directly into your soul.

"My sister died years ago. She promised me from the afterlife that she would send someone to take her place. But it has been a longtime." She says and you frown.

"I am sorry for your loss. Is there anyway that I may help ease your pain?" You ask her through sign and her eyes seem to widen.

"You can understand me?" She asks.

"Yes. Almost as though you were speaking directly into my mind." You tell her.

"It has been so long. Ronal has delivered on her promise. She sent me a new sister." The tulkun said and you had to remind yourself that you were underwater, therefore unable to gasp.

"What is your name?" You ask her.

"My name is Roa, and this is my calf." She said and seemed to move to a new position directly infront of you. "You are my sister. May we bond?" She asks and you nod. Unbeknownst to you, your absence next to the Olo'eyktan had gained his attention along with Jake and Neytiri's. The three had gathered and watched you interact with the tulkun with interest. Roa's mouth opened wide and you got the gist and swam forward into her mouth. Her mouth closed and you continued to float forward until a glowing part inside of her unfurled. You assume it was her queue so you pulled yours infront of you, and connected them. Both of you shared your memories with one another, and you smiled as she showed you memories with Ronal and them singing together. Every bit of your lives shared with eachother as though you were both there for everything. When the bond was done you exited her mouth at her prompt and went to the surface for air. You went back into the water and continued to speak with her.

"You were a sky person?" She asks and you deflate a bit.

"Yes, but you could see why I do not associate with them any longer. Their planet is dying, they are trying to kill this planet as well, and I refuse to be one of them." You tell her and she nuzzles the tip of her nose to you and you pet her.

"You were as beautiful then as you are now. I hope you and Olo'eyktan are happy together once you pass your iknimaya. Tonowari deserves happiness after the tragedy that befell his family with Ronal." Roa said.

"I do not want to replace a woman as mighty as Ronal. I can only hope that I can come somewhat close to who she was." You signed.

"As humble as she was I see. You will make a beautiful Tsahík when the time comes." She says and you smile softly. Her eyes shift behind you. "We have company sister." You turn to find Tonowari and your two friends.

"Roa I see you have found your new sister." Tonowari greets her.

"Yes, and isn't she beautiful!" Roa exclaims excitedly.

"What did she say (Y/n)?" Tonowari asks.

"She said, 'Yes, and isn't she beautiful!'" You translated to him and his eyes soften drastically as he looks into your eyes.

"Yes. Yes she is Roa." Tonowari signs and Roa seems to chortle with laughter of some kind.

"Smitten already Olo'eyktan." Roa seems to joke and you smile brightly at what she says.

"I am smitten with him as well Roa. He is a beautiful soul, and an amazing father and leader." You sign to her well aware that Tonowari can understand what you're saying. You look over to him and his cheeks have flushed at your words.

"Hoping for some of your own someday then?" Roa asks.

"Yes. In my human form, I was past safe childbearing age. In this form, I feel younger and safer to have children." You sign to her and she wails happily.

"We are about to travel sister. I will see you again soon." Roa says and you nod.

"I am very happy you are my sister, Roa. You have a beautiful calf, and I wish you safe travels." You sign to her and she leaves with her calf. When you surface with Tonowari, Jake, and Neytiri they all cheer. Tonowari pulls you onto the back of his tsurak and cheers loudly for everyone to turn to him.

"We have a new bond!" Tonowari announces to the clan and everyone cheers happily. He turns to you with a proud look. "You are ready." He states and your breath hitches in your throat. Jake and Neytiri show you wide smiles as they tap your sides and you blush. You spent the rest of the afternoon with Tonowari, Jake, and Neytiri and noticed something odd.

"It's been awfully quiet since the Tulkun left." You said and the others seemed to notice the foreboding silence.

"Has anyone seen the kids since the tulkun?" Jake asks and you shake your head Neytiri and Tonowari also shaking their heads. Ra'ina knocks on the side of the entrance to Tonowari's marui.

"(Y/n), my son hurt himself on the coral while he was hunting with his friends." Ra'ina said somewhat rushed and you stood quickly.

"What color was the coral?" You ask and she shakes her head.

"I don't know. I just saw the blood and that it would need stitches and came to you immediately." She admits. You turn to the others and Tonowari nods once to dismiss you.

"I understand ma (Y/n). I will let you know when the children are located." Tonowari says and you nod. You turn and follow Ra'ina back to your marui.

"We brought him here hoping you were here, but you weren't. I am sorry to disturb your day." She says and you shake your head.

"No need for apologies. Your son's health matters more than freetime." You say as you burst into your pod and go to the teenage boy. "What color was the coral you injured yourself on?"

"It was red with blue veining." The boy says weakly. You grab the box with your supplies and start grabbing what you need and applying the necessary salves and ointments. You disinfect the wound then start applying the necessary healing salves and wrap his wound in seaweed bandages.

"He will have a fever for a few days, but he will be okay. Do not allow him in the water and he should try to keep unnecessary movement to a minimum. Take this with you and he will be fine within the next few days." You told Ra'ina and she nodded with a thankful smsmile.

"Thank you Tsahík." The boy says tiredly and you shake your head.

"It's no problem child, but I am just a healer." You tell him.

"Tell that to Olo'eyktan." He jokes and then laughs at his joke only to grimace and stop.

"Maybe work your way into joking child." You tell him.

"I will carry him home." His father says and you nod.

"It will probably be best. He doesn't need to flex his muscles too much or his stitches could pop and an infection could set in. Ensure that he eats three healthy full meals a day." You tell them and they nod. His father picks him up and the family leaves back to their marui. You clean up the area and decide to go back to Tonowari's marui. Jake and Neytiri standing just outside didn't go unnoticed by you or the crowd of all of their children just inside.

"Sit." You heard Tonowari say and you entered the marui.

"Sorry I was late." You whisper to him and he offers you a hand to sit next to him. You accept and lower yourself onto your knees next to him.

"I said sit down!" Tonowari yells when he notices that Lo'ak was the only one who sat down. Tsireya looks as though she's been crying and Ao'nung looks like he's restraining himself from going and comforting her.

"Uhm... What happened in my absence?" You ask the room but instead, a pregnant silence answered you.

"My children allowed Lo'ak to bond with an outcast tulkun named Payakan." Tonowari told you and you looked at him confused. "I will explain later yawne." He whispers and you nod.

"Sir, payakan isn't a killer. He saved my life." Lo'ak spoke for the first time since you arrived.

"You will listen to me boy. Payakan is outcast for a reason. He killed many tulkun and Na'vi." Tonowari said in a harsh quiet voice only a leader could produce. A voice that Jake's children had heard many times before, and you, yourself had been on the receiving end of once.

"No. He is a good tulkun." Lo'ak argued calmly.

"That's enough." Jake said to Lo'ak but he ignored his father as usual.

"I saw everything. He wanted to put a stop to the tulkun hunters. The sky people killed those tulkun and Na'vi." Lo'ak said and Jake walked forward and squatted menacingly next to his son.

"I said that's enough." Jake whispered harshly in Lo'aks ear and you couldn't help but shiver at the threatening tone.

"In the earliest songs, the tulkun fought for territory and spread violence. They eventually came to an understanding and vowed off violence. This is the tulkun way, and because of this Payakan is outcast. He gathered those Na'vi and other tulkun, he led that attack, and he was the only one to survive." Tonowari told Lo'ak who seemed to be keeping himself from rolling his eyes.

"I'm sorry sir, but you're wrong. I just know what I know." Lo'ak says and you tap Tonowari. He looks at you and you gesture to Lo'ak silently asking if you may butt in. He hesitates then nods and you both turn back to Lo'ak.

"Lo'ak what Olo'eyktan is trying to say is that their way is a way of peace and tranquility. A way that Payakan strayed from when he decided to attack the sky people. He is not saying that trying to fight the sky people is wrong. Only that it is not the way of the tulkun to fight... That is our place. To protect our brothers and sisters in their times of need." You tell him but he shakes his head and looks back at Tonowari.

"Can I be dismissed now?" Lo'ak asks calmly but with an edge and Tonowari shoos him away. You stood up and went over to Tsireya and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Are you alright Reya?" You asked her and she looked up at you with teary eyes.

"I have duties to attend." She responds then briskly leaves. You turn to Tonowari and quirk a brow.

"I will explain." He says and the two of you stand to the side of his marui and he takes a deep breath. Then he explains everything that happened and what was said and when.

"Wari... I know you were upset, but you will need to apologize for what you said to your daughter. I know she means everything to you, and it must've hurt you to say those things to her. I know that we as adults say things in anger to our children, but as adults, we must also realize that we must apologize for wrong things we said." You tell him. "It teaches them accountability. Shows them that even though we are their elders we know how to acknowledge our mistakes."

"I know, but she knows better than to allow someone to bond with an outcast tulkun. She just stood by and watched instead of interfering and stopping him." Tonowari says and you sigh.

"Ma Tonowari..." You say quietly and cup his cheek. "If there's anything I know about Lo'ak he inherited both of his parents' stubbornness. Even if she had intervened she wouldn't have been able to stop him. He would've pushed past her to do it anyways. Tsireya is a good child and doesn't deserve to be punished for Lo'aks wrongdoing." You tell him and he sighs as he nuzzles into the palm of your hand. He reaches up and grabs your hand hmwith his own and kisses your palm.

"Come. Jake and I have decided to get you to ride tsurak today. We still have plenty of daylight." Tonowari said and led you over to Jake who was waiting outside of the marui.

"Look at her Tonowari... She's pale." Jake jokes and you smack his arm. "Ow! Again with the abuse."

"In order for it to be abuse you have to be mine to abuse... And no offense to Neytiri, but I do not want to have to deal with what she deals with when it comes to you. I like my men calm and collected. Not dumb and rash." You jest with him and he mocks offense.

"I'm hurt. I thought you loved me." Jake said with fake hurt in his voice.

"Skxawng." You whispered but both men obviously heard as they both chuckled.

"Yeah well I doubt you'll beable to hold on. If I couldn't how are you going to?" Jake fired back.

"Unlike you, I've taken the time to train with an ilu to better prepare me for this moment, Sully." You said and he sighed exaggeratedly. The three of you now stood in the water for Jake and Tonowari it was waist-deep, but for you, it was chest deep. The two men had called on two others to bring over the tsurak and help hold him in place. You stared at the back of the beast trying not to laugh at how short you still were. Jake noticed and choked back a chuckle.

"Shut it skxawng. You used to be shorter than me." You said and he rolled his eyes as he looked at you.

"I was literally crippled." Jake deadpans and you chuckle then jump up onto the back of the tsurak.

"Remember (Y/n). When you dive into the water position is very important." Tonowari says seriously and you nod.

"Wish me luck." You say after you make tsaheylu and level your breathing with the tsurak. After you stabilized your bond you motioned for them to let go, and off you went. Keeping a tight grip on the handle and keeping your position correct. You finally dove under the water and kept ahold of the handle and you went back above the water. Both Tonowari and Jake joined your sides on their tsurak and Jake yips excitedly. You look at Tonowari and he smiles wide and proud then joins Jake with you following shortly after. A shadow flies over the three of you and you look up to see Neytiri she joins her mate in yodeling at your success. The four of you meet back up in the shallows and Tonowari picks you up in excitement. A decent amount of the village had gathered to watch your last rite of passage. Everyone gathered on the shore cheered happily as Tonowari turned you to face his clan.

"You are now an acknowledged adult in the eyes of the people. Now you may pick a mate." Tonowari whispers in your ear and you blush at his words.

"I already have, and I have a feeling he has picked me as well." You say bashfully and he smirks.

"And you're so sure?" Tonowari asks with a teasing tone.

"Hmm maybe he hasn't." You said with a fake pout and he chuckles and nuzzles into your neck.

"I want to do this in the traditional sense. I want to court you properly, ma (Y/n)." Tonowari says tenderly and your heart melts.

"Then who am I to stand in your way?" You ask with a soft voice and he smiles.

"Thank you. Now I believe there is a celebration for you." Tonowari says and leads you to the crowd on the beach. The moment you're on the beach you're tackled in a hug by several sets of arms. Loud yipping and cheering can be heard from the children crowding you.

"Neteyam... I can't breath." You tell the boy who has latched onto your midsection and started to squeeze as hard as he could.

"Sorry Auntie. I'm. Just proud." Neteyam says bashfully.

"It is alright Nete." You say with a faint smile as his siblings now bombard you with questions and happy chattering. Tonowari watched as you interacted with his and Jake's kids and how you treated them as your own. His mind drifted off to thinking about you interacting with the children the two of you might have in the future.

[vilandel]

Melody Of Your Heart

Summary It was just a single melody. But it lead to love...

A/N An oneshot I wrote two years ago, as a birthday gift to myself, which means it's very self-indulgent 💜 Also sharing my headcanon that Nozel can play the piano, headcanon I share apparently with @kalolasfantasyworld and @f-oighear 💘

Ao3 link

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

The first time she heard him play, it had been a shocking surprise…

That day wasn’t meant to be special. Vanessa just had to deliver a probably very important document at the Silver Eagles Headquarters. A small last minute mission, because Yami had forgotten, leaving Finral to discover it in the evening and having a panic attack, so Vanessa volunteered to deliver it.

Noelle’s brother wasn’t present, Vanessa had to give that document to Agatha Austen, vice-captain of the Silver Eagles. Who looked very relieved to receive that piece of paper. As it was vital or something.

Vanessa didn’t ask, it didn’t interested her anyway. But the sincere thanks of the vice-captain was nice to hear and honestly, she wasn’t unhappy about the opportunity to see inside another squad, totally different from the Black Bulls.

So, instead of going home, Vanessa decided to visit a bit after saying goodbye to Agatha.

It was already late in the evening, most of the Silver Eagles went home – for those who didn’t lived at their Headquarters – or went back into their rooms – for those who did. And maybe some were now going out, enjoying their free time. Even if it was a bigger squad than her own with so much more work to do, Vanessa couldn’t believe that the Silver Eagles hadn’t any free time.

Only the knights who were here for the night shift were at their posts and some of them looked like they took their job very seriously, so Vanessa decided to not stop by and have a small talk. They would already find it weird to have a knight from another squad visit them this late.

The Silver Eagles headquarters was big and an old building, with many rooms. So of course, Vanessa get lost. Kinda. She didn’t panicked, so she just continued to walk, believing that she would find some Silver Eagle who could guide her back.

She didn’t found any Silver Eagle, though. Instead, as she was walking through some hallway who looked somehow unoccupied, she heard it for the first time. A melody. A melody played on a piano. Breathetaking, sad and hopeful, nostalgic and peaceful.

Vanessa couldn’t tell why she felt that melody like it was calling out her soul. She never been that interested in music before – except singing and even then mostly drinking songs – and such rich instruments like violins, harps or pianos always seemed like some foreign language to her.

But this time, Vanessa found it beautiful, understanding and she couldn’t tell why. Back then, she didn’t even ask herself. She just followed the melody, who came from a door at the end of the hallway. Behind that door, a surprisingly big room with high windows, but without any furniture… expect a black pianoforte in the middle. Sitting in front of it, the captain of the Silver Eagles, Nozel Silva in person.

It took her a few seconds before Vanessa realized that it was him playing that breathetaking melody. She never would have thought that Noelle’s stoic and expressionless older brother would be such a talented pianist. According to Yami, Nozel Silva has no love for music, didn’t have any hobbies in general. But according to Yami, Magna and Asta were incredible singers and after hearing them, Vanessa had no idea if captain Yami was just tone deaf or if he just loved to make fun out of everyone.

He was definitely wrong about Nozel. And his face right now wasn’t cold at all. It wasn’t full with thousands expressions either. Well, Vanessa never had the chance to see that handsome man often, but that expression right there… It was soft, a bit sad maybe, but relaxed, as if nothing could happen to him right now. As if he wasn’t a prince and even Head of House, as if he wasn’t the captain of an old, royal knight squad.

As if, in this very moment, he was just… Nozel Silva.

Vanessa had no idea how long she stood here, hidden behind the door and peeking. Just listening to Nozel playing, his fingers gliding, almost dancing on the piano keys. It was like something called out to her, for something that wasn’t really awake yet. Vanessa had no idea what it was and at that moment, she didn’t care.

But of course, it had to end. Just as Nozel stopped and stood up, Vanessa heard footsteps coming down the hallway. She run, afraid to be discovered, but somehow still enchanted by the melody she just had heard.

Nobody discovered her in that lonely hallway back then, but Vanessa was unable to forgot Nozels breathetaking melody.

♣♣♣

Secretly, Vanessa came back to the Silver Eagles Headquarters, more often than she would have liked. But that melody was like haunting her. Even more when she just imagined Nozel playing it.

But why? Why was she just that obsessed with music from a piano, played by a man that wasn’t even her type?

It was really bugging her more than it should, so Vanessa decided that she had to go back to figure it out.

At least, that was the excuse she gave herself back then.

So, Vanessa went back a second time. And a third time. And many times again and again. Just to hear Nozel playing at that pianoforte.

Slowly, she didn’t really cared about her lame excuse anymore. The secret of Nozel Silva was a far better one. She could see how he was when he was playing, as if the pianoforte was the key to unlock the real Nozel Silva, who the person was behind that cold mask on a statue.

It wasn’t always the same melody he played, but all of them were beautiful, calling something out in her. Vanessa had no idea why.

The tenth time she came, between two melodies, it happened. Nozel looked up and saw her. Vanessa was so surprised from that unexpected reaction that she froze for a minute. She couldn’t move and he didn’t made any gesture either. As if they both turned into statues.

Their eyes locked and diving into his soft purple eyes was like a tiny window on another world. On the real Nozel Silva. More complex than the cold mask. It was like a firework of emotions glancing in those purple orbs.

A call, somewhere, from someone, unimportant, stopped their intense glaring. And Vanessa immediately run. Suddenly she was afraid. She didn’t know why, she didn’t of what or of whom, but she wanted to get out of here as fast as possible.

But it wasn’t relief she felt once she was back home at the Black Bulls Hideout. Instead, she felt guilty…

♣♣♣

Three weeks later

She didn’t came back for three weeks. Almost a month. She was afraid. Afraid to have hurt Nozel somehow, afraid to have destroyed something, even though she had no idea what that something was.

Which was stupid. Why would Nozel be hurt by her reaction? He must be angry at her to have spied on something private and evidently important for him. But her instinct told her that it wasn’t that, for some unknown reason.

To proof her stupid instinct that she wasn’t afraid, Vanessa finally got a grip of herself and went back. It wasn’t that she missed those melodies, that she missed to watch Nozel Silva playing them, showing his true self while his fingers glided on the piano keys.

But just as Vanessa entered the room with the pianoforte again, she admitted that she was wrong. She missed the melodies, she missed the mystery of the real Nozel Silva, she missed him. She had no idea why, it was a fact.

He was there. Nozel looked up as she entered. No need to hide, he saw her three weeks ago. Vanessa took a deep breath and closed the door.

Nozel looked like he was waiting for her. Vanessa wanted to doubt it, after all, why would he wait for her. But something in his eyes stopped her doubts before they could form. She couldn’t pinpoint what, it was just there.

For a while, they just stared at each other. Eyes locked, just like three weeks ago. But this time Vanessa didn’t flee, even though a new fear was nagging her.

Please, don’t chase me away, handsome.

She didn’t even know why she was scared of that. She just… was.

Nozel didn’t say anything, he just gestured at a chair near the pianoforte. Vanessa hadn’t seen it before.

But it was like he was allowing her to stay in the bubble of his secret. The fear disappeared to give place for relief as Vanessa sat on the chair.

Nozel turned towards the pianoforte and began to play. The very first melody Vanessa heard him play. Vanessa smiled as she closed her eyes, savouring the beloved melody.

♣♣♣

Weeks passed. Vanessa now came almost every day secretly to the Silver Eagles Headquarters to hear Nozel play the pianoforte.

At first, none of them talked. Just silence between them. It was a bit awkward, honestly. At least for Vanessa, who knew what Nozel was thinking. But still, it wasn’t a heavy silence, it wasn’t a pressure.

It was just so foreign, like another world. A prince playing piano secretly to a witch. No one would ever think about a scene like that. It was already strange in reality and Vanessa doubted that anyone would have thought to write something like that in a novel or something.

Sometimes, Nozel was the first in the room. Vanessa would have thought that he would already began to play at the time she came. But no, he always seemed like he was waiting for her. Touching, in his own way. Not to mention that Vanessa wouldn’t lie that she felt honoured about it. That a handsome prince was waiting for.

Other times, she was the one who came first. And then, until Nozel came, Vanessa was afraid that he wouldn’t come. It scared her somehow more than it should, but she couldn’t help it. She came to love those strange, but lovely music moments between them both. To her relief, Nozel always came.

Vanessa had no idea how long those meetings lasted. It was like time didn’t matter when she was listening to the melodies Nozel played on the pianoforte. But it was always dusk, sometimes even the start of the night, when it was over.

Like today. After the echo of the last note vanished, Nozel and Vanessa stood up. Just a glance at each other, a nod and they left. Until next time.

But Vanessa couldn’t help to want more than that. She had no idea what that more even was. She just… felt that way.

“Thank you.”

Her first words since she discovered Nozel playing this pianoforte.

The captain of the Silver Eagles flinched. Looking at her blankly. For a moment, Vanessa feared to have destroyed what they had. Whatever that was.

But then Nozel looked down, whispering a soft, “You’re welcome.”

His first words since she came to listening to him playing this pianoforte.

They left each other after that. Nothing else was said.

But Vanessa couldn’t help but feel that they somehow made an important step forward.

She was thinking of his voice. That soft whisper. That didn’t sound like the cold captain, those strict, serious words that Yami made fun of, that Noelle was sad to hear, but who didn’t stop her to care for her older brother.

That voice right now wasn’t masked by cold. It wasn’t masked at all. A little sad, a little grateful… and if Vanessa was being honest, also surprisingly sexy.

She wanted to hear his voice again.

♣♣♣

“Hello there, handsome.”

“Good evening, miss Enoteca.”

“How many times did I ask you to call me Vanessa?”

“Too much.”

“Stop being so proper for a minute, you can relax.”

Nozel didn’t answer, turning away to try to hide his blush. Vanessa giggled. It was always a threat to see him blush, to see any other expression than the cold mask he used to wear outside of this room.

After her thank you and his you’re welcome from a few days ago, they started to talk more. First it was only greetings and goodbyes. But Vanessa quickly attempted more conversations. It was mostly her who talked, Nozel was way more restraint with his words.

But never with his music.

He sat down in front of the pianoforte, but waited for her to sit down as well before playing. Like always. Vanessa didn’t know if it was just polite, but she greatly appreciated the gesture. She wasn’t really used to be treated with respect by people who were nobles or even royals.

Between the plays, Vanessa always asked the name of the play, the tricks to do some passages, the difference between the white keys and the black keys. Not that it interested Vanessa in particular, but she wanted to talk with him so much. The hidden secrets behind his usual cold mask. The more time she spend with Nozel, the more she wanted to know about him. The real him.

Nozel answered her with a few words, but the way he talked about the melodies he was playing and the technologies of pianos in general… It was like he loved talking about his hobby. He opened to her not much, but those tiny bits gave Vanessa the wish to open to him as well. If he let her enough inside his true world… would she feel brave enough to tell him about her past? The cage?

Vanessa was surprised that her answer was yes. She felt that with time, she would tell him and she even wanted to. She wanted him to open to her and she wanted to open herself to him. She felt something that told her that it was somehow the right thing to do.

Wasn’t it strange? Her own squadmates, her family didn’t learn about her past from her and yet Vanessa was willing to tell it to a complete stranger.

But was he really a stranger?

Vanessa watched Nozel, his fingers gliding on the piano keys, his face almost unreadable, while his eyes clearly shows that he loved what he was doing.

No, he wasn’t a stranger.

And Vanessa would make sure that they would become more than just some acquaintances.

♣♣♣

The day they opened more was after the attack of the Eye of the Midnight Sun. After captain Dorothy Unsworth told Noelle the truth about the death of her late mother, Acier Silva…

“Why couldn’t you tell it yourself to Noelle?” Vanessa asked softly. She was clearly wondering, but she suspected that it was more than just not wanting to.

“I can’t.”

“There are things that are difficult to say, handsome.”

“It’s not… that I don’t want to. I really do, but… it’s not only about the heaviness of this truth. It’s also… something else.”

Nozel put a hand on his throat while saying those words. He looked scared, as if he feared he had told too much.

Vanessa had no idea what it meant. She was very curious to learn more about this secret, but she wouldn’t pry. It clearly was a too heavy topic for Nozel to just talk about.

“You don’t need to tell me. If you want, wait until you feel ready.”

“I… thank you, Vanessa.”

She blushed. It was the first time he called her by her name.

Nozel didn’t say anything else, he just began to play the next melody. The first one she ever heard him play. Even if it wasn’t from too long ago, Vanessa felt somehow nostalgic.

“I never asked the name of this one”, Vanessa said softly as he finished.

“It’s called The River flows in you. It’s… it was my mother’s favourite.”

There was definitely sadness in his voice. Vanessa knew that Noelle missed her mother, despite the fact that she has no memory of her. The same must apply to Nozel and he has memories of Acier Silva. How terrible has it been for him? Losing his mother and become the next Head of House Silva at fifteen, while still grieving?

Did he even had time to properly grieve?

“Did your mother teached you how to play piano?”

“Yes, she had a passion for it. My mother loved music, she was sad that would never be a good singer. Something all four of us inherited from her. But she was an amazing pianist. When I began to show some interest in this instrument, my mother made extra time so she could teach me herself. I was the only one who was interested. Nebra and Solid weren’t interested into learning to play piano. Neither was Noelle. But she had a preference for the harp.”

That explained why Noelle insisted that she got this expensive big harp in her room, despite the fact that her room at the Hideout wasn’t that big.

“Those moments with mother are some of my favourites memories of her,” Nozel continued. It was the first time that Vanessa heard him talk this much. “She loved teaching me and I loved spend time with her like that. Even when I didn’t need it anymore, we still managed to find time for those lessons. I never stopped even after her death. I was just… always alone. Until you…”

Nozel looked away, clearly flustered to have confide all of this. But he couldn’t hide his pink cheeks and the subtle tears in his eyes.

Vanessa had grown a habit to tease him since they started talking during those meetings. But in this very moment, she couldn’t. Even while feeling uneasy, she couldn’t.

She was touched, because he told her such an important part of himself.

She was also sad, because it was so obvious that Nozel still missed his mother. It was years ago, over a decade and yet he seems that he still wasn’t over it. So, this is how it was when you have a good relationship with your mother.

Vanessa never knew that.

“It’s sad that you had to lose your mother so young. It’s nice that you had such a loving bond with her. I wish I had the same with mine.”

“What do you mean?”

Vanessa looked up. Nozel was looking at her, curious, concerned.

For the first time since they started their meetings like that, their eyes locked.

Vanessa couldn’t turned her head, captivated by his intense glance. Nozel had purple eyes, just like hers. But it was a different shade. A metallic purple, somehow cold but not really.

Finral told her once that eyes were a mirror to the soul and she had to admit that her best friend was right. There was no mask over those eyes, they hid nothing. They showed care, compassion, a bit of fear, a lot of sadness, a will to protect, some carving for affection maybe… and something else that just couldn’t be named yet.

Nozels glance was like an invitation. A hand reached, a door opening. If she would confide to him, he would not back away. He would listened.

Vanessa wanted that and it this very moment, she wanted it more than anything.

So she told him everything. Her past, her cage, her loneliness, how she find a home with the Black Bulls, how she got back and got Rouge how her relationship with the Witch Queen, somehow her mother, wasn’t anything like a mother loving her child.

How she still wasn’t sure if she had come to terms with her past.

Which she only realized while telling him. How odd was that?

“I… I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t need to say anything, Nozel.”

He really didn’t need to. His eyes said more than thousands of words.

Nozel took her hand. He hesitated a bit, but still took it. Vanessa let him be, even intertwining their fingers. Nothing more needed to be said.

Vanessa couldn’t tell why yet, but she just knew that they both took an important step with whatever was happening between them.

♣♣♣

The attack on Spade was in three days. Soon, they were going to defend the Clover Kingdom and even more, go to Spade to safe captain Yami and captain William, to also stop the devils taking over the world.

Nozel would go. He was one of the strongest in the Clover Kingdom and given that his mother was killed and cursed by Megicula, he also had a very personal reason to went to this land of cold and winter.

Vanessa would go. All of the Black Bulls wanted to safe their captain and they will. That was their first reason, their personal reason, but not their only one. Captain William also had to be saved, the devils wouldn’t go on rampage on the world and the Clover Kingdom would not know the taste of defeat.

The two of them still managed, during all those preparations for the upcoming attack, to find time for their music moments.

Vanessa knew that it was important, for Nozel and for her. She was worried about him, she hoped that he would come out alive out of this raid just as much that she hoped her family would come out of it alive.

She didn’t know what she felt towards him, if it was friendship or maybe even something else, but one thing was sure. She didn’t wanted to lose Nozel. The mere thought was terribly frightening.

They didn’t talked much during their last meeting before Spade. Nozel played and Vanessa listened. The melodies were full of hope and definitely had more joy than them right now. But they needed it, to have hope for a happy outcome, whatever would happen in Spade. Vanessa was certain that they would win.

Because she had no idea what they will do if they didn’t.

As the last note faded away, Nozel took a deep breath and softly took her hand as well. Vanessa almost sighed at the touch.

“Vanessa…”

“Yes, handsome?”

“When we’ll go… please be very careful.”

“You also, Nozel.”

They didn’t say anything else. It wasn’t needed.

But Vanessa couldn’t help but putting a soft kiss on his cheek. Nozel didn’t back away.

After all, it wasn’t a teasing kiss. It was already so much more than that. They both just haven’t realized it yet.

♣♣♣

“This is… you… all those years… I don’t know what to say!”

“You don’t need to say anything, Vanessa.”

His voice was soft while looking at her with a sad glance. Nozel looked like a burden was taken from him, or at least part of a burden.

But Vanessa couldn’t stop looking at the subtle scar around his neck.

They came back from Spade a few days ago. Happy of their victory, but still recovering from the trauma and all the different kinds of pains they felt and witnessed back there. Not to mention that even though they came back as victors in the Clover Kingdom, a mysterious, uneasy feeling was there since their return.

It was their first meeting since their return and after playing three or four melodies, Nozel told Vanessa about the full truth of his mother’s curse.

That he was there when Acier Silva fought Vanica, while he hold a newborn Noelle in his arms.

That he saw her getting cursed.

That he got a side effect of that curse.

That he searched desperately for a cure, for anything that could have saved his beloved mother.

That he had to watch her slowly fade away during one whole year, without being able to say anything.

That he couldn’t do anything against the rumours surrounding his mother’s mysterious sickness, coming from his own father, letting everyone believed that it was the afterwards of a difficult pregnancy and birth.

That he tried to stop his father to blame baby Noelle, but got slapped several times before giving up, finding himself unable in his grief and despair to find the energy to stand against his father and how hated himself for it.

That he watched his mother die, while he held her hand, becoming slowly cold and distant, wanting to protect his siblings at all cost but hurting them in the process, especially Noelle, leading him in a spiral of more guilt, cold, pressure and mistakes.

Nozel told her everything and Vanessa was shocked by what she heard. Shocked and sad and a bit angry and very compassionate.

“How did you… How did you managed to stand strong under all this pressure? I don’t think I could have handled it!”

“I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t think that I was strong… just desperate. I’ve made… so many mistakes. I was wrong for so long. I should have done things differently from the start… I’m not-“

“Stop it right there!” Vanessa protested and rushing to him to take his face between her hands. Nozel was too surprised by her sudden gesture to even take a few steps back.

“Don’t you dare say that you aren’t a good person, Nozel! You are! You made mistakes, but it was never out of malice! There were circumstances, anyone would have made mistakes under those. Nobody would have done it perfectly, nobody would have known what were the right things to do from the start, that would be inhuman to expect of anyone! You are a good person. You know you made mistakes, you apologized and you do anything to make up for them. I think that you’re strong for not denying them, for owning them. And… you love your siblings, you basically sacrificed yourself for them. You tried everything to save your mother and given the circumstances, I don’t think it was a failure in a way. Nozel, you’re clearly one of the strongest persons I know! What you need is to understand that you can lean on other persons.”

You can also lean on me.

Nozel just looked at her, surprised, his eyes watering. Vanessa didn’t looked away. She had no intention to.

“Nozel, you are a good person. You did so many things because you care. And… And I…”

And I love you.

Vanessa stopped. She didn’t want to blur those three precious word out like that.

She also didn’t want to blur them out while she was still trying to get used to her feelings.

It was in Spade when she realized that she was in love with Nozel. Vanessa had been worried for him as much as she had been worried for her friends. Especially during the fight against Lucifero.

Of course she hadn’t been really surprised about it. Nozel and her had bonded during their musical meetings. But…

The moment she heard captain Charlotte confess her love to captain Yami, the moment she finally realized that her own crush on Yami had been over for so long already, the moment she surprised herself that she wasn’t jealous at all of Charlotte, Vanessa knew that she loved Nozel.

She had no idea when it started, though. Maybe she hadn’t realized it before it was so different from the idea she had of love before. A naïve idea, now that she thought about it. It was nothing compared to her lost duckling crush on Yami, to her teasing towards Finral with Finesse and Noelle with Asta. It wasn’t as fluffy and pink and sweet and childish and simple and whatever her idea of love was.

What Vanessa felt for Nozel was deeper. The pink fluff was mixed with darker colours, it was way more bittersweet than sweet. It wasn’t only happy, it was also sad and hopeful. Another kind of simple, while hiding in a shell of complexity.

It was… somehow like the very first melody she heard him play.

Vanessa knew it was complicated. How ironic, she never cared about statuses and circles before, she never gave any importance to the problems of a relationship between a royal and a peasant when she teased Noelle about Asta.

But now that she was herself in that kind of situation, suddenly she cared. And unusually for her, she was overthinking this, despite the possibility that Nozel didn’t felt the same. Which was possible… but believing it hurt too much.

“You what?”

Despite the softness in his voice, Vanessa was taken aback from Nozels question. Slowly, she looked up again. She almost gasped as she saw the hope in his eyes. Vanessa could even see that he was trying very hard to fight against that hope.

Vanessa took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She had maybe not much to lose, but not nothing. And still, her instincts told her to take the risk. So she leaned up and softly put her lips on his.

Nozel didn’t back away. To Vanessa’s surprise and delight, he even didn’t hesitate to give in to the kiss, his hand slowly going up to her cheek.

Their lips parted, only to seal another kiss, a bit more passionate than the first one.

And another one. And another one.

They just couldn’t stop.

Vanessa had no idea how long she and Nozel kissed like there was no tomorrow. All she knew was that during those blessed minutes, she could heard his mother’s favourite melody clearly in her heart.

♣♣♣

The atmosphere in the kingdom had been strange those past few weeks. Their victory in Spade had some mysterious bitter taste since their return and it was like time was playing crazy.

But no one had an idea what was going on. Everything seemed so normal for now, which lead everyone to come back to their habits before the war, although they were still cautious deep inside.

Vanessa hated that atmosphere. Even the Bulls could feel it and their Welcome-Back-Party for captain Yami hadn’t been enough make this mysterious feeling disappear, sadly. It wasn’t really like before Spade…

One of the only places she felt more free from this atmosphere and – what a paradox – she was brave enough to talk more openly about it, was at the Silver Eagles headquarters, in that room with the pianoforte, when she was with Nozel.

Since their first kiss, it was fair to say that they were dating. Secretly, that is. There were to many factors, to many stupid rules and ill-intended people that would be ready to kept them apart if they learn about this relationship.

After all, a witch wasn’t a good option for a prince, even more a Head of House. Not to mention that love wasn’t even worthy to consider in such an alliance.

Well, that’s what most nobles and royals would say. Vanessa knew it wasn’t true, but she also knew that prudence was something Nozel and her needed to have. She didn’t wanted to give up on him, to risk their young relationship.

They haven’t said I love you to each other yet, but their feelings for each other were as clear as crystal.

Their dates were usually in this room. Sometimes outside, but Nozel always disguised himself when they met elsewhere and is disguising skills were still a work in progress. But Vanessa didn’t really care that their dates were mostly their music meeting.

The pianoforte wasn’t the only thing in this room anymore. Recently, there was also a very comfy couch and an elegant table, at which they had some romantic dinners already.

Nozel also made sure that there was a bed. Since the return from Spade, the Black Bulls had more missions than before and Yami had apparently decided to work them all to the bone for some reason.

It wasn’t rare that Vanessa would take a nap on that bed when she was here before Nozel. Sometimes, she even spent the night in this room. Alone. Because Nozel was still very respectful with her, refusing to take action without her consent.

Vanessa appreciated to have such a respectful boyfriend, she hadn’t known that with the guys she had dated in the past. But she would love if Nozel would take action one day. The more they dated, the more their love grew, she slowly wanted more than just kisses and cuddles.

Maybe she would take action instead.

“This one is new,” Vanessa commented as the last note of Nozels piano play faded away.

“Yes. I discovered it only recently. Apparently, it’s from a compositor from Spade who fled in the Clover Kingdom two centuries ago.”

“It is pretty. A bit haunting and nostalgic, but still lively somehow. How so?”

“I think the compositor wanted to share what he felt during his exile. Missing his own country, but grateful for the hospitality in Clover. I can’t really say for sure, but it felt like it.”

“I believe you’re right, honey.”

They went silent as Nozel started a new music piece. A bit more sad, more longing.

Vanessa sit closer to him. Closer than she needed to, but not as much as she would love to. She put a hand on his leg. Nozel didn’t stop his fingers dancing on the piano keys, but he blushed. Like always.

But this time, he didn’t back away. Vanessa smiled.

“Will you go home tonight?” Nozel asked quietly, as he finished playing.

“Hm… No. I’d rather sleep here. There was a fight at the Hideout, between Gauche, Asta and Finral. Oh, they probably sorted it out as we talk, but… Well, I fear it has something to do with the strange atmosphere that reigns lately in the kingdom and it really makes me feel uneasy.”

“I understand what you mean.”

Nozel and Vanessa had talked about that strange atmosphere more than once. Giving each other news about unusual details they find out about, about people they cared about reacting out of their habits due to those strange post-Spade feelings.

Vanessa was sad that she couldn’t really talk about it with her squadmates as well, except for Finral a bit. She didn’t why, she didn’t know how and she hoped that it wouldn’t last. The Black Bulls couldn’t break apart just because of some stupid mysterious atmosphere.

But she was grateful that she was able to talk freely about her worries with Nozel. He was also worried. It seemed to Vanessa that her beloved captain of the Silver Eagles was slowly more willing to talk about his own concerns with her.

Maybe opening up and talking about the truth concerning the curse his mother’s curse, about his own pressure and struggles he had to deal with for almost eighteen years had the same effect on him like opening a cage. Vanessa knew Nozel well today, she knew how much he needed to trust someone, how much he longed for affection despite having denied it himself for so long.

Somehow, it was also the same for Vanessa. That love she had for him, the sweet and even healthy relationship they had… She had no idea how much she wished for something like that before she already got it. Oh, Vanessa would have loved to have a boyfriend for a long time. First Yami, who she had learned would never consider her as a potential lover and more like a little sister. Then the few guys she dated in the past, who were never really interested in her than a few dates.

Until she met Nozel, Vanessa had come to conclusion that in the end, love wasn’t for her. How wrong she had been.

Despite the difficulties with their situation, she found herself happy with the romance she found with the captain of the Silver Eagles. All because the curiosity about some beautiful melody of a piano got the better of her.

It had been a good idea to peek into that almost empty room back then. About one year already…

“About that, honey…”

“What is it?”

“Well, to be honest with you, I don’t really wanna sleep alone tonight. Do you know maybe a certain prince or even better, some squad captain with silver hair and a handsome braid who would spent the night with me?”

That was very direct and bold, Vanessa knew that. Most of the time, Nozel wouldn’t catch on every attempt, even though he blushed basically every time she flirted with him.

But this time, even he should realize what she was implying right now. And he did.

Nozels face turned beet red, which was honestly so adorable. Vanessa giggled, even though she also blushed a bit. Just because she wanted more than just kisses and cuddles from, it didn’t meant that she wasn’t nervous about it. She was. Because this time, she was deeply in love and that fact only made it feel like a first time all over again.

“Are… are you sure, Vanessa?”

He was really so adorable when he was unsure and even more when he was clearly concerned while blushing.

“If I weren’t, I would have asked you just now, honey” Vanessa whispered, putting a soft kiss on his lips before teasing the area between his mouth and his nose. Now she could even feel his blush. “I would love to spend the night in your arms… But I will not force you as long as you’re not ready. Never.”

Vanessa closed her eyes, enjoying his warm presence, his subtle touches, his subtle lavender scent… Even if he won’t be ready tonight, she would enjoy Nozels simple presence to the fullest.

She heard him sigh deeply, before he put softly his hands on her cheeks. His lips brushed hers, as if he was trying a new thing out. But the next moment, he went fully on her lips, kissing her with a passion she hadn’t known from him before.

Vanessa had no idea how long they made out like that, but when they finally parted to catch their breath, they weren’t sitting at the piano anymore. They were lying on the bed and she already lost her Black Bull robe on the way.

She looked up to Nozel. There was a determination in his soft purple eyes she never really saw before. Or maybe it had been there already, she just never realized it. But also the love he had for her. It made her heart beat furiously in her chest.

With a soft yet seductive smile, Vanessa caressed his cheek, giggling as she saw him blush again. But Nozel also smiled, a soft and gorgeous smile. She loved those.

He went for her lips again. This kiss was so much softer, but still filled with a burning passion. Vanessa didn’t wanted to think anymore, she wanted all of her focus on Nozel, on him only.

It wasn’t long before they got rid of their clothes. And it wasn’t long either before they became one…

Hours later, Vanessa lied in Nozels arms, exhausted and happy. It had been fantastic. No other word seemed fitting enough to describe what she felt right now. Even fantastic felt almost like an understatement.

She didn’t regret it. If Vanessa ever had doubts before, they had disappeared by now. Despite the difficulties, despite the strange, mysterious atmosphere in the kingdom, being in Nozels arms, being loved by him and loving as well… it all felt just right.

“Seems that I had a good idea back then,” she whispered as she played with a strand of silver hair of her lover.

“What do you mean?”

“That I took  a peek in this room back then, while exploring your silver headquarters and get lost myself lost, kinda.”

Vanessa giggled and even more as she heard Nozels chuckle as well. His laughs were rare and never loud like some of the Black Bulls. It quickly became one of Vanessas favourite sounds, exactly because it was rare. Between two music pieces, she wasn’t only trying to make him blush but also to make him laugh.

“Yes… Yes, you’re right. It was a good idea.”

His whisper alone made her heart heavily flutter again.

Nozel caressed her cheek and leaned down to kiss her again. Only soft this time. Just like that. But Vanessa savoured it just as much as the fiery ones.

As they parted, Nozel hold her more tightly against him. “I… I want more of this.”

Vanessa giggled. She could almost hear the blush in his voice.

“We will have. I promise you. There is no way I’m going to give up on a handsome royal eagle.”

“Vanessa…”

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

Now there was no way that she couldn’t be any happier right now. Not after he said those three precious words.

“I love you too, Nozel.”

♣♣♣

I had been difficult.

The situation in the kingdom first. The revelation of Lucius Zogratis, who took control of the Wizard King Julius Novachrono, had left absolutely no one unfaced.

A second battle against devils, the kinda revived Dark Triad, a new chaos in the kingdom, who wasn’t even totally recovered from all the aftermath of the Attack by the Eye of the Midnight Sun.

The Magic Knights, the whole Clover Kingdom and their allies had won in the end. But that victory had still been a bitter pill to swallow. Especially with the death of Julius Novachrono, who sacrificed himself again for their country. Only that he didn’t came back alive, this time…

Life had come back, everyone was now ready to face the future. But it had been clear as crystal that it would never be like before. Vanessa didn’t want to think too much about those dark days of battle and despair again.

What also had been difficult had been the revelation of her relationship with Nozel. One would have thought that with all the chaos and dark days occurred in the kingdom, the nobles wouldn’t have cared so much about the Head of House Silva being in love with the Drunken Witch of the Black Bulls, even intending to grow old with her.

But of course not. Apparently, the chaos in the kingdom even strengthened their grip on their ambitions and beliefs. Many asked for his hand in marriage or for his siblings hand. Heck, at one moment, his father returned and without even informing Nozel, basically pre-engaged him to three different foreign princesses, so that he could choose which one apparently.

Nozel didn’t want to hear any of it and he fought against the arrangements of his father. Vanessa helped him. There was no way she was letting her boyfriend getting chained to an arranged marriage, with some princess who wouldn’t love him.

That battle had been hard and the sudden coming out of secrecy even more. Without Nozel, Vanessa doubted that she could have handled to be in the middle of gossip and rumours, to be judged and let Nozel be judged for the simple fact that he loved her.

The reaction of the Black Bulls to their relationship had been funny. The noble’s reaction not at all.

But in the end, they had won. And that was what mattered today.

Even though today Nozel and Vanessa had no reason anymore to hide their love, they still continued to meet in that room with the pianoforte.

They couldn’t do otherwise. That room was were their story began and many of their best memories together were in there. As well as some of the important decisions they had made since they knew each other.

That room was like a sanctuary and they refused to stop continuing to spend time in there.

Nozel was playing his mother’s favourite piece again. With maybe a bit more joy than the first time she heard it, but Vanessa didn’t care. That melody was the first reason she was now here, with Nozel and she would love this music forever.

Vanessa sat closer to him than necessary, but honestly, why should a wife sit a few meters away from her husband when he played piano to her?

Yes, they were now married. Vanessa smiled while she glanced at the silver wedding bands that were on their left ring fingers.

They weren’t the only Silva couple with someone out of royal or noble circles though. Asta and Noelle were engaged, Zora and Nebra should soon come back from their honeymoon. Only Solid wasn’t with anyone for now and it seemed that the role of a happy single uncle who would spoil his future nephews and nieces was appealing to him.

Let’s hope he wouldn’t spoil them too rotten.

Vanessa put a hand on her belly. It was just a small roundness for the moment, but she couldn’t wait to finally hold their baby in her arms. She also couldn’t wait to see Nozel as a father. He was concerned if he would really be a good one, but Vanessa knew that he would be an excellent one.

Softly, while still holding her belly, she lied her head on Nozels shoulder. Vanessa heard him chuckle in affection, without stopping to play.

The melody she heard back then brought her to her current happiness.

[myalchod]

💄 for 34,💡 for 17 and 👀 for 22

Oooh, let's see what this gets ...

💄 Will you be trying anything different in this? + 34:

No clue! This one is barely started so I'm not sure what I'm doing with it yet. I might try inverting the dynamic I usually go for, I suppose?

💡 What inspired you to want to write it? + 17:

Oh man, a blast from the past. It's a possible third interconnected fic for the very first Fate fics I wrote, and mostly was inspired by looking at the song I was cannibalising for titles (Leonard Cohen's "Hey, That's No Way to Say Goodbye"), and the opening lines practically screaming for something ... and because it's me, that something almost immediately zagged angsty and then I got entirely derailed by kink meme happening and never really looked back. I loved you in the morning, our kisses deep and warm Your hair upon the pillow like a sleepy golden storm

👀 Can you give us any sneak peaks? + 22:

lmfaoooooooo so this is one of those entirely self-indulgent things I have no plans to ever post, but I'm pretty sure I can find something in it to share. Let's see ...

He’s woken by the sound of the doorbell, rousing him out of a sound slumber. As he shoves the pillow over his head and mutters vague invective into the sheets, Andreas spares a moment to wonder who on earth is outside. Visitors are rare these days, rarer still unannounced, entirely by design; when he’d leased this home in Blackbridge, it had been under an assumed name in a deliberate attempt to get a place that was his alone, somewhere to find peace and quiet. It’s been a welcome refuge, though sometimes it feels like he’s gotten too much of what he was looking for, in the small hours of the night when it’s too quiet and empty -- but that emptiness hardly means he wants someone at his door at a time like this. Maybe I should rip the wires out of that damned bell, he thinks as the shrill sound slices through the room again, and then a third time in rapid succession. Whatever it is, it clearly isn’t going away. And so he pushes to his feet, raking a hand through his hair and rubbing sleep from his eyes even as he reaches for the nearest clothes. As tempting as the idea of shocking whoever is bothering him by still being nearly nude, the last thing he wants is to find himself splashed across the tabloids once again. If he’d checked before opening the door his reaction might have been to slam it in her face but surprise leaves him frozen instead, shirt still riding up on one side and jaw slack while Farah pushes past him before he can do more than blink, and he has no choice but to close the door after her if he wants to avoid a scene. “Pack a bag,” she says, folding her arms and pinning him with a glare he remembers all too well. The absolute nerve of her -- to think she can barge in like she owns the place and then have the temerity to follow it up by giving him an order? He flicks the lock shut with a pointed thunk before leaning back against the door and letting his gaze rake up her body in a deliberately inflammatory way before meeting her eyes, still half-hidden by dark sunglasses. “Nice to see you, Andreas,” he drawls. “It’s been a while, Andreas. You look good, Andreas. Maybe lead with that, yeah?” “You look good.” She nearly spits the words out, voice tight in a way he remembers all too well from their endless arguments. “Now pack a fucking bag.”

[ ask me another? ]

[bluedillylee]

hi! I'm here for the choose violence ask game and in case we could choose multiple, could I get 1, 3, and/or 6???

thank you!!

the character everyone gets wrong

Eskel. The majority of the time I see people characterize him as the better more emotionally mature Geralt whose very insecure about his scars. Essentially a nice sweet dude. I simply cannot vibe with that.

Now this is obviously a personal opinion but I just can't see how you get a guy like that out of the upbringing he shares with Geralt and Lambert and maybe Coen (not sure if its canon or fanon about Coen being from another school). Geralt very obviously reads to me as a fucked up and traumatized person whose trying his best with the circumstances he has. Lambert also is usually shown to have anger outbursts and bitterness over the way he was raised. I actually get really suspicious of a nice normal Eskel in fics because my brain just interprets that as him hiding something super fucked up about himself.

Shout out to that one fic I wish I could find again that had Eskel and this cannibalistic town and there was this song The Old She Hen Cackled. It was a great exploration of a fucked up Eskel.

to the nice!Eskel lovers out there feel free to tell me what it is you like about him. While not my vibe I enjoy hearing what makes people passionate about a character.

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

haha oh man one time I saw someone saying that Yennefer had no right to be angry about her infertility because she "chose" it. Baffled me to realize people weren't really watching her story just sort of skimming it.

I find her character deeply interesting so any hate towards her is just like, really? her? my special girl? no way lol

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

well this ties in with my answer to number 3 but anytime I'm reading a geraskier fic and it starts minimizing Yennefer's importance to the story and to Geralt it is very frustrating.

I'm mostly a multishipper and I like any combo of the Geralt/Yennefer/Jaskier trio but sometimes it's tough out there to find stuff when you like all three characters and you feel that each of them plays an important part in each others lives regardless of shipping.

Thank u fic writers that put in the tags that you hate Yennefer so I don't start reading and then get unpleasantly surprised. I am giving you a respectful nod from across the room from one enemy to another.

[peppertaemint]

I've always felt that the jikookers vs. taemin feud kinda mirrored the taekookers vs. jimin situation, but at a much smaller scale, of course. I agree with you that they feel threatened by taemin's indisputable stature as an artist, as it disrupts the narrative that bts is always the first and always the best at everything, and also because jimin looks up to him and is influenced by him (as if it wasn't obvious enough before, now we got the confirmation from the man himself, thank you very much). This reminds me of taekookers getting mad at jimin for standing out so much as a performer. I mean, he obviously does, that's why they're always all up in his business instead of focusing on their favs' "records". Also, they hate the fact that they're close because they read taemin as queer, which makes them think that they actually might have kissed, once, at a party (just once). Kookie's friends look straight enough to them, so they can stay. A bit homophobic if you ask me. I'm sure that if we saw taemin around jimin publicly more often, he would've been already promoted to the same The Other Woman™ role jimin occupies for tkks. And besides all that, I could write an essay on why jimin's friendships have always been under scrutiny because many people can't take the fact that he has more going on in his life besides being the members' cheerleader and jungkook's devoted wife, but that's a different topic.

Thank you for this Ask, Anon. You raised a lot of salient points here. The one I'm gonna pick up on is Taemin's perceived queerness, with emphasis on perceived.

There is an odd thing that happens with non-fans. They mostly think he's gay, that it's obvious, and they don't really like their favourite having a connection to him. While, within the fandom community, shawols cannot decide if they think he's gay. If you were to ask around, you'd get quite a few different opinions.

I find it interesting because the "outside" community has very specific and strong opinions of him. I connected with a Korean-American lady in her 50s a while ago and talked about all things Kpop. She wasn't a shawol. One of the first things she said, unprompted, was, oh Taemin, he's gay but can never come out, what a shame/challenge for him (I was chatting from a 2Min account, just for context). I was a little floored at how readily she shared this fully-formed opinion.

It seems the world outside shawols have already made up their minds about him, in one way or another. I think about when he was young and had that beautiful long hair, but his frame was still so slight that the gender confusion for an onlooker was understandable. It must have been hard to have the world decide that you were sitting somewhere on the trans spectrum. And to know everyone thinks they know you're gay.

There is a zero percent chance of him not feeling these things, and he's certainly done both reactionary hetero-leaning performances and queer performances. Pretty Boy is and Internet War are the first that come to mind. And it's worth remembering that sometime in the early 2010s, there was a Korean news report about homosexuality in kpop idols, and he and Jonghyun were named in it (as a couple, I think 💀).

I don't love the song Pretty Boy, but the choreography with its military steps and these lyrics have a lot to say.

Hey you, tough guy / Relax your hardened shoulders / Hey feel the way I move

I’m like a speeding train / You’ll be surprised / Look at that poor girl, I hope you notice / She says “you’re a guy so…” like a habit / Why is being sensitive and prepared the opposite of being a man?

Cause I do it I do it for you / I won’t pretend to be innocent like a puppet / Everyone talks so easily

I may always seem pretty, I may always seem good / I may seem nice, I may seem soft / But that’s all a part of your imagination that’s over my head / (Pretty Boy)

[shadyb00ts]

The Little Mermaid (2023) - Review

As a longtime fan of Chloe x Halle, I knew from the moment that Halle Bailey was cast as Ariel that she was the perfect choice. Of course the racists were (and still are) whining and throwing tantrums about Ariel being black, because they never believe any person of color can truly earn a role with sheer talent, but for a long time I was sure that even if this movie ended up being an absolute dumpster fire, Halle would be the saving grace of that dumpster fire. She would be the best part, hands down.

Well, I wasn't surprised to see that I was right. About her being the best part, at least, but I don't think the movie itself is a dumpster fire at all. I actually really enjoyed it, and I've been very cynical of the Disney live action remakes for a long time like most people are. I had no confidence in this film but I had the utmost confidence in Halle to shine no matter what. However, there were things about this movie that pleasantly surprised me. Some disappointments though, I'll admit.

This is gonna be a long review, as my reviews always are. Spoilers ahead. I'd recommend you read this if you've seen the movie, but if you haven't and don't care about spoilers, read on.

So for starters, I was never really a Little Mermaid stan. Of course I loved the movie as a kid because I was obsessed with mermaids in general, and the songs were undisputed classics, but I wasn't exactly a fan of the movie as I grew older. I don't dislike it, it's just... fine. It's very of its time. So because of that, I knew they were going to update and expand certain things in the remake. For better or worse.

I've already stated how much I thought Halle nailed this film. Maybe you could say that I'm biased since I was already a fan of hers anyway, but hey, this is just my honest opinion. She captured Ariel's essence so beautifully; her innocence and naivete, her curiosity and inquisitiveness, her yearning and wonder. And while yes, the CGI during the underwater scenes could be a little janky some of the time, I was mostly mesmerized by the way she moved, the way her hair moved and the iridescence of her tail. She just looked so gorgeous and adorable and got Ariel down to a science.

As for when she gets legs and goes to the surface, that's where she shines even more, because she has to act without saying a word. It was all in her expressions and mannerisms and I thought she absolutely delivered. I haven't mentioned the new songs they added yet, but they did add a new Ariel song for when she goes to the surface called "For the First Time" and I have to say that it's my favorite new addition. It's soooo delightfully musical theater and I think it has the most Little Mermaid-esque vibe to it. It fit the movie perfectly.

Back to the actors, I also thought Melissa McCarthy was the biggest surprise. I had zero confidence that she would do the role justice, but I thought she actually did a great job. She was definitely channeling Pat Carroll and some of her lines elicited chuckles out of me. And I thought her rendition of Poor Unfortunate Souls was pretty good, even though it's unfortunately missing the iconic "body language" lyric. She's not a strong vocalist but I think she did the best she could, and she was one of the highlights. Also she did the Ursula Shoulder Shimmy which I appreciated.

Jonah Hauer King as Prince Eric also did a good job I think. The remake added much-needed depth and character to Eric that was missing in the original. Another thing I appreciated was how they tried to show more parallels between Eric and Ariel. There's a scene in the movie where Ariel finds Eric's library/study, and it's shot in a way that makes it reminiscent to Ariel's grotto. They tried to give the two more things in common, and I think they succeeded in that. Plus the chemistry between Jonah and Halle was just off the charts. I rarely find straight couples adorable, but I thought they were so adorable any time they were sharing a scene.

My one minor gripe with his casting is that he's not exactly the strongest vocalist. One of the new musical numbers is an Eric song called Wild Uncharted Waters, and.... I didn't really like it. His voice kind of sounded like the lead singer of an angsty rock band from the 2000s. As soon as it started it gave me war flashbacks to Emma Watson in Beauty and the Beast, where they had to use very noticeable autotune on her voice. Granted that was much, MUCH worse, but still. I don't wanna be reminded of that travesty. The song itself is okay I think, but it could be much better if they had a stronger vocalist or a Broadway darling to play the role, to really do the song justice. But like I said, this is just a minor gripe because Eric really only gets one song, and Jonah overall did a good job.

A change that I really appreciated was, instead of Ariel getting invited to dinner at the castle, she and Eric go to a market instead. The kingdom in the remake is inspired by the Caribbean and I loved the tropical, colorful vibe of the locale. The market visit allowed Ariel to wander around and marvel at everything she doesn't understand, and it's a much cuter, more laid back way for her and Eric to spend time together. Some people were upset about the crazy chef who tries to kill Sebastian being removed, but honestly, I never thought that sequence added anything to the original. I loved what they did here.

Daveed Diggs as Sebastian... Sigh. Look, I love Daveed but I feel like he was so miscast for this. Anytime he spoke or sang, you could tell the Jamaican accent was very put on. Sure, the original actor who voiced Sebastian--Samuel E. Wright, RIP--also was putting on a Jamaican accent, but somehow it just felt more natural when he did it. His voice work as Sebastian was so iconic, and Daveed just missed the mark on this role. It just wasn't the right role for him. His version of Under the Sea was also quite underwhelming, and he did a lot of talk-singing during it. I liked the Under the Sea sequence visually, but not quite sonically.

As for Kiss the Girl, people were making such an uproar about the lyric changes but the changes were so minor. They literally only changed like, a couple of lines, and the song is still the same thematically. It's still just the animal sidekicks trying to influence Eric to kiss the girl in kiiind of a date-r*pey-ish way. They wanted to make it seem more consensual, but nothing's really changed. But yeah, I do think the original version of the song is still better regardless. Similar issue I felt about Under the Sea, it just... doesn't quite hit the mark.

Awkwafina as Scuttle was... alright. She had some funny moments, but I mean, she's just doing her regular voice. It's literally just Awkwafina as a bird. But what I really hated was.. Scuttlebutt.

Oh god, Scuttlebutt. I honestly have no idea what Lin Manuel Miranda was thinking when he wrote this? I don't know if he was smoking something really strong, cause like... Mama, this is garbage. Like, I can't even explain to you how painful to hear this song was. It's absolutely the worst and most unnecessary addition to the soundtrack. Nobody wants to hear Awkwafina, the queen of putting on blaccents, rapping. That's the last thing any of us wanna hear. It was just. So. Horrible. I've seen the movie twice in theaters now and each time I was just begging for that song to be over.

Anyway, that's the most negative thing I can say about this movie, was that damn song. Lin deserved jailtime for that one.

For the more minor characters, Javier Bardem as Triton was okay. Some people think he was horrible but I don't think he was that bad, it was fine. I still would've preferred Idris Elba as Triton but that's just my personal fancast.

Flounder was... Flounder. Yeah, I don't like his hyper-realistic design, but he was still pretty cute and 12-year-old Jacob Tremblay was just trying his best to emulate the original actor and I think he did a fine job.

Ariel's sisters were barely in it, like in the original. They did give them each unique, cute designs, but we all know that it's just to sell dolls. They appear in the beginning of the movie in a pretty awkward scene that's supposed to replace the concert from the original film. Apparently Triton and his daughters meet every time there's something called the Coral Moon? It seems to just be a family meeting of some sort. They left it so vague, they didn't even bother to explain what the Coral Moon was. I wish they had just kept the concert.

But yeah, the sisters are all named and apparently I heard each of them are supposed to have special powers? Well those powers weren't showcased in the movie at all, so we know it was just a marketing tactic. I'm sure there'll be tons of fanfics of all the sisters having adventures and whatnot. They might even make an animated series. It'd be called Ariel and Her Sisters, or Daughters of Triton.

I do think the dolls are very slay though. I'd buy the whole 7 pack.

Oh my god, I forgot to talk about Vanessa. Girl... Jessica Alexander bodied this role. Even though she was only in it for a handful of minutes, she ate up every bit of those minutes. I also really liked Vanessa's Trick from the soundtrack and thought it sounded beautiful. Do I wish it still had lyrics instead of "la-di-da's"? Sure I guess, but I honestly don't mind all that much. It's very haunting and Halle's voice is ethereal on it.

I think that's all I have to say on the movie. It's a fun time and it's bolstered by some stellar performances (particularly from Halle) and welcome changes/additions. But it's also kinda bogged down by not-always-great CGI, some clunky musical choices, and certain things cut from the original film that I thought shouldn't have been cut.

Still, I very much enjoyed this movie more than any of the other Disney remakes so far. I do agree with people's sentiments of it being the best of the bunch, but well... the bar isn't exactly high in that regard. Maybe because the previous remakes were so bad, this one just is the best because it's the only one that doesn't suck.

Whatever the case, I had enough of a great time that I went and saw it twice. I recommend you see it too before it leaves theaters.

[coolishfoolishness]

Anyway here's a silly little gay story I wrote. Figured I'd post it here. Feel free to give constructive criticism, but please don't be mean.

Love is a Battlefield

I died here. In this mall that I now inhabit. I was beaten to a bloody pulp and stuffed somewhere no one would find me. I guess it's what I deserve for being a degenerate. For carrying a disgusting disease of my own. Maybe I wouldn't have died if I just tried a little harder to be normal. But oh well.

Now I haunt this abandoned mall. Occasionally people will come around to check this place out. Mostly a bunch of jerks writing stuff like "_ was here" and drawing obscene things on my body. I scare most people away though. It's usually as easy as playing music over the speakers or turning on an escalator. For those particularly stubborn, I chase out. I'm sure there are more than a few ghost stories about me by now. Am I a ghost though? I don't know what I am. All I know is I'm supposed to be dead. I suppose this mall is supposed to be my own personal hell. They told me hell would be hot, that I would burn. But all I feel is cold. So very cold. Cold and alone.

I've seen more than my fair share of make out sessions. I don't know why anyone would go here to do that, but I suppose most would assume they have privacy here. I've also seen people go further, but I'd rather not go into detail about that. I don't blame people for doing it, and I'm not mad at them. I suppose I'm just jealous. I wish I could have that, but I'm unlovable. Especially now that I'm dead.

Oh great, another teenager coming in to torment me. Just one this time. A boy. He's carrying a duffel bag that I assume is full of spray cans. I should be able to scare him away easily. I turn on the music. The song "Love is a Battlefield" by Pat Benatar. It's not a very intimidating song, but that doesn't matter. People get scared of anything out of the ordinary in an abandoned mall. Especially since I've already built up a reputation for myself.

But he doesn't leave. He opens his mouth. "Is anyone there? Are you the ghost that haunts this place? Are you a friendly ghost?" I do not answer him. It's strange though. Instead of reacting with fear, he reacts with curiosity. But this isn't the only time I've had to deal with a ghost hunter. Most of them expect just some sounds or pictures, but I can do so much more than that. One time I chased some girl down and destroyed her camera. If people got proof of my existence, then they'd probably start being even more annoying. As he starts climbing the escalator, I turn it on. He stumbled a bit in surprise, but he still seems to be unafraid. "Well isn't that that convenient. Maybe you are friendly." He's so frustratingly optimistic.

Everytime I try to scare him away, he just gets more curious. I turn on an arcade, and all he does is play the games. I flicker the lights and he just laughs in excitement. I start to enjoy watching him. He dances and sings through the mall without a care. "Can I make a request?" He asks. "I recently went through a breakup. Do you have a song for that?" I decide to humor him and played the song "Heartbreaker", another one by Pat Benatar. He sings along to it, the emotions in his voice a mix of joy, anger, and sadness. His voice is beautiful, not because it is perfect, but because it is so very imperfect. Every voice crack, every misplaced breath, reminds me of a feeling that I haven't had in forever. It scares me.

The song eventually ended and he sighed. "Thanks. That really helped," he speaks softly, his smile bittersweet. Small tears trickle down his face, tempting me to wipe them off. " Now… " he starts, "Why don't I put ona little fashion show? Will you let me borrow some clothes if I promise to put them back?" He goes into one of the clothing stores, carefully picking out things to wear, and heads to the changing rooms. He's lucky that there are no security cameras in them. Not that I would purposely try to spy on him.

He wears a variety of different clothes, all of which look good on him. Maybe it's his fashion sense, or maybe he just looks that good. The last thing he puts on is this beautiful black dress. He spins around in it and giggles, just barely avoiding tripping over himself. He sits down and sighs. "I hope you enjoyed that as much as me!" He's so strange. No fear, no shame. He… intrigues me. If that's the right word.

Eventually he puts his duffel bag down and unzips it. Just as I expected, It's carrying cans of spray paint. This is the point that I'd usually chase him out, but at this point I'm just as curious of him as he is of me. Most people just tag my skin or draw a phallus with a sharpie, but occasionally there are some dedicated artists. And this boy just screams dedicated.

Eventually I notice that he's painting a person. Not just any person. He's painting me. It's unmistakably me. He even puts my name in the corner instead of a signature. He holds up this rectangular device that I've seen a few times before, and I assume he takes a picture of it. Is he making a memorial of me? Why would anyone want to do that? Why would you want to paint some random degenerate who died in the 80s? I know I shouldn't, but I need to know more. I need to know why. I block off any potential escape routes with my wires, and I start approaching him. He's oblivious at first, but eventually he notices me. I try to speak but nothing comes out. Nothing but an incomprehensible screech. He seems a little shocked, but he still doesn't run. Not that I would let him. Not anymore.

"Is that really you? I mean, I knew you were haunting this place, but I didn't think I'd get to see you," he says, his voice shaky. I nod my head. How much does he know? Does he realize how disgusting I am. If so, why? Why would he make this large mural of me? I don't deserve it! He gets close and grabs me by the shoulders. He seems almost surprised that he is able to touch me. I am as well. Why is he touching me? How is he touching me? Now that he's closer I start noticing all the little details that get lost on the cameras. The little freckles that dot his face. His wavy brown hair and hazel eyes. Honestly, he's pretty cute. Dangerously cute. He's just my type. If my heart could still beat, it would be racing. But I quickly shut that thought down. It's thoughts like those that put me in this situation. Besides, he would never be that way, right? Especially not for me. I'm nothing but a monster, both in life, and in death.

Even so, he starts speaking, "I need you to know that you didn't deserve what happened to you. You deserved love, and joy, and everything else in between. I need you to know things got better for people like us. It's not perfect, but we can now get married, and we're much less likely to be killed for who we are. It got better." What is he talking about? Us? Does that mean he is like me? He starts hugging me. He feels so warm. "I'm so sorry for what happened to you. You really deserve better." He pushes away. "Sorry for touching you so suddenly."

I once again try to speak, this time without straining. The music stops playing and instead my voice comes out. I guess I'm still learning stuff about myself. "Are… you… like… me? I… don't… under… stand. Why… so… kind?"

He replies "Yes, I am gay. I wouldn't say I have the best life, but things have gotten better for us. I just wish you could have experienced it."

I just can't handle it. He's so beautiful, and so interesting, and he's like me. I know it's a bad idea, but I really want to kiss him. I want to experience what all those couples that come here do. I just want to be happy.

"Can… I… kiss… you?" Even just a second after I ask the question I start to regret it. I just met him and I'm a monster.

"I- oh- uh," he stutters. I knew I shouldn't have asked. I move my wires out of the way so he can escape. "Wow, sorry, I just didn't expect that. I- sure, I can kiss you." Why?! Why is he like this? He's blushing! He's so cute! But is he just doing it because he feels bad?

"Do… you… pity… me?" I ask

"No. I just think that you deserve better." He goes up to me and puts his hand on my face. Our lips touch, and I feel something I've never felt before. I love him. I know I just met him. I know I don't even know his name. But I still love him. I don't know why. Maybe it's because he isn't afraid of me. Maybe it's because of his curiosity and optimism. Maybe it's because I enjoyed watching him dance to the music and play the arcade games. Maybe it's because he is the only one who has ever seemed to care about me in this mall. Maybe it's just because he's cute. But either way, for the first time in forever, I feel loved. For the first time in forever, I feel like I'm allowed to love and be loved. Years of being called disgusting, and yet now I feel beautiful. I wrap my arms around him. The music in the mall has finally looped back around to "Love is a Battlefield" and I start to truly listen to the lyrics and feel them in my heart. I feel as though they describe us at this moment.

We are young

Heartache to heartache

We stand

No promises, no demands

Love is a battlefield

We are strong

Noone can tell us we're wrong

Searching our hearts for so long

Both of us knowing

Love is a battlefield

[jexxtv]

It's a wrap

Pairing : idol!Seonghwa x Fem!Non-IdolReader

Summary :  dealing with Ateez's heavy schedules for so long, reader becomes annoyed with the lack of attention from her lover. leaving an unexpected surprise for him when he finally returns home.

an : this is mostly inspired by the song It's A Wrap by Mariah Carey. the lyrics and the idea I have matched so perfectly so I hope you enjoy <;3 

warnings : mentions of heavy drinking, alcohol usage, reader is drunk— really bad, heavy emotions, angst, reader self doubts a lot, some fluff towards the end. 

A heavy sigh rolled right from your mouth as you looked up at the ceiling of your once-shared bedroom, moving your head over to the empty side of the bed, which belonged to your lover, you scoffed and sat up in bed. It had been almost two whole months since you’d seen him. Knowing how busy he can get was one thing, but now it was just starting to get annoying. 

From the interviews, comeback stages, tours, and variety shows. You name it, you had just had enough. From the beginning of your relationship with him, you knew it wouldn’t work out well, and you did warn him several times. But he continued to make promises that never lasted. With little to no commutation, on top of hardly seeing him, you started to doubt the relationship would even last a year. However, here you are, four years into the relationship, somehow you two made it work in the first two years, the third year becoming a bit rocky due to the group taking off successfully.

Don’t get it wrong! You’re more than happy for them to succeed, it’s all you ever wanted since you’ve learned to love each of the seven members, including Seonghwa. You also knew the tag-along weight that came with dating an idol as well, knowing that their schedules would be packed, very limited time with them in public, and many more because the list is never-ending. You just really wondered why you fully went through the relationship knowing what could happen. 

It mainly started right after the promotions of Guerrilla, Ateez skyrocketed to the top like crazy and a lot of opening things for them to do came in. The last time you might’ve ever spoken to Seonghwa was maybe right before the announcement of their tour. 

“I need you to bare with me, love…” holding your hands, bringing them up to his lips to kiss them. 

“Exactly how long are we talking Hwa, whenever you start saying that, it means I won’t see you for a while.” Looking at him in his eyes, your eyes slowly start to tear up. 

“Not too long, it’s just an America & Canada tour, a few shows outside the tour and I’ll be home for the holidays.” 

He didn’t lie, however, during the midst of their tour in America, another tour was announced for Europe, which blew a short fuse on you. 

It was now December and their first half of touring was finally over, however, another surprise to add next to the Europe tour, they had another comeback. 

Lucky you...

Walking over to the bathroom to do your regular morning routine, you looked at yourself in the mirror and sighed, wondering if you had lost your attraction to him as to why he never calls anymore. Or maybe he’s just that busy? You shrugged at the thought, walking away after finishing your routine. 

Your days and nights have been very limited. Some days you find a new hobby to get into, painting, going to museums, finding cute little cafes you’d hope to bring Seonghwa by sometimes. During the night, you’d find yourself with a glass of wine and a book, reading yourself away. It didn’t get much better than that. 

Sometimes wishing for him to just walk through the door and whisk you off your feet into a long loving hug. It became such a bad wish for you, some nights while drinking, you’d go from wine to a small martini or two, to a few shots of patron...It would just get ugly. 

You already sought in your mind tonight would be one of those ugly nights, seeing that you just wanted to forget your loneliness and fill the void with something else rather than wasting away. 

Deciding to spend your day shopping for the holidays, it had been long past twelve hours since you were out. Walking back into your shared apartment with arms filled with bags, you kicked the door closed. Dropping the bags by the couch, deciding to go through them later, you only picked up four of the bags, having had a little shopping spree for yourself. Heading straight for your bedroom to reveal what you had bought.

A red glittery off-the-shoulder dress, that had a leg open silt and was sized perfectly to hug your curves, something you thought a certain someone would love to see you in. Laying the dress on the bed, you reached down to grab a shoe box, opening it to reveal the black red bottom strappy heels you bought to match the dress. A wide grin appeared on your face as an idea popped into your head.

Leaving everything on the bed you ran into your bathroom to quickly hop in the shower to wash away today’s adventure, adding extra steps to shave, exfoliate and moisturize every inch of your body. The idea you had was simple, a few videos and photos sent over to Seonghwa and maybe it’ll gain his attention again.

You took your time in the shower, as well as getting yourself ready for your master plan, then moved to the makeup, doing a black smokey eye with showgirl false lashes and a red matte lip. Your hair was blown out and rolled into curlers for a more dramatic effect, you left the rollers in to slide into your dress. Which, definitely fits you snugly like a leather glove.

Sliding your foot into the heel, lacing it up your leg, you couldn’t help but think about the outcome of this plan. After lacing the shoe on, you stood up walking to the mirror to take yourself in, and damn did you look good. Undoing the rollers out of your hair, you did a few dramatic tosses and flips to add volume, and took one more glance at yourself.

“I know he misses this..”

Grabbing your phone to set it up to record yourself, then grabbing it to take photos up close and selfie-wise. You made sure to catch all his favorite angels and more, then went through to select the five attachments you wanted to send him. Adding the message, “Missing you..” you threw your phone down onto the bed making your way towards the kitchen for your nightly session of drinking.

[ 18:26 @ KQ Entertainment ] 

“Waah, I’m so happy to finally be back here. I’m ready to curl up and sleep..” stepping out of their travel van, going into a big stretch. San placed his bag down, also stretching out, “You sure you’ll be curled up and sleeping tonight?” looking at his older member with a brow raised. Soft squeaks could be heard from the trunk of the van, “Hyung has a lady who’s definitely going to make him sleep on the couch,” Wooyoung said slyly while grabbing bags, only to be nudged by Hongjoong. 

“Ya! shut up, I’m sure she’s expecting him with warm arms. She’s always been understanding since our debut.” He said with reassurance. Seonghwa’s mind raced to the thought of you and how long he’s been away. He could only think about what was the possibility of his unannounced return and exactly how you would react. 

“yeah, I should go ahead and head home now. It’s still early and I can catch her before she goes to sleep.” grabbing his bags and saying his goodbyes to his other members, he walked towards another van that was designated for him to head home. Once settled in the van, he checked his phone to see if there were any updates, just for him to see the five attachments you had sent him. 

“Oh.. you..” tapping the video you first sent of you showing off the dress, doing twirls, and showing your leg every few seconds for a tease. Seonghwa couldn’t keep his eyes off you, as he swiped to the next video, now up close to see the details of your makeup, “beautiful as ever.. can’t wait to see you.” Bringing his gaze to the window to see how far he was from the apartment, holding his phone closer to his chest. 

His mind wandered off to the thought of you now, what were you possibly doing all dressed and dolled up tonight? Did you spoil yourself for no reason? Or had you planned this whole look just for him because you somehow found out when he and the members were coming back? 

Little did he know, you just wanted to feel pretty for no reason. 

By now, you had already had about five or six classes of wine, four martinis, and currently drinking out of the patron bottle. Heels removed, somewhere tossed in the living room, dress still on you and hair slightly fluffier than before, holding the bottle in the air as you drunkenly swayed to the beat of the current song being played on your speaker. 

“All I ever asked was for you, to pick up the phone when you alone..!!!” 

Playing Games by Summer Walker was currently being played. You were a mess, emotionally a mess, at least you admitted to that. Alcohol fully running through your system as the lyrics to the song touched you, your singing, more so yelling out the lyrics with heartfelt meaning. You took another swig of the patron, “wahhh, I only asked for you to show me some loooveeee,” spinning around the living room, moving to the couch to sit down. Kicking your feet up onto the coffee table, another swig was thrown back and you let out a sigh.

Holding the bottle close to your chest, you stared at the wall as your mind started to race with so many thoughts. Unsure if you wanted to hold onto your current relationship, it hurt for you to even think of said things, but you were so frustrated with the lack of attention and love you needed to stay afloat. 

To deep into thought, you didn’t even hear the door opening, let alone the unlocking sound, so as soon as you heard it close you snapped your neck towards it. “Nooo fucking way..” putting your feet down and standing up to look at him. You didn’t even recognize him, forgetting that he bleached his hair for their promotion of “Halazia”, you blinked slowly at him.

he stood at the door looking at you, taking in your current state, eyebrows slowly raised when he saw the alcohol bottle in your hand. “have you... have you been drinking?” his voice coming out soft, and all you could do was scoff. 

“well no shit I have. what does it matter to you?” walking towards the door but then redirecting yourself to the bar. 

“you’ve been gone for SO long and I know for a fact you’ve seen me calling and texting you.” the words flying out of your mouth felt like venom to Seonghwa’s chest, clearly aware of his lack of communication while he was away. 

“baby, I know but-” 

“no, no no no no no, you don’t get a but in this situation.” snapping at him, turning around to face him. “I told you so many times Hwa, like, even before this!” leaning back onto the counter, taking a deep breath. “need to catch my breath, because you don’t understand obviously.” 

“yn, please, let me explain..”

“there’s no need! it’s a wrap for you! i’ve made up my mind!” looking him in the eye now. “you know, I did try, after the first month. I was okay! but now, I just can’t.” breaking eye contact with him to look at the ground, running a hand threw your hair. 

“it doesn’t have to be like this love, we finally have a moment to rest yn, don’t you understand?” he made his way over to you to get close, hands finding their way to your arms. “I know, my communication has been terrible the past two months, i’m here to admit that. but i’m also here to correct my wrongs, baby. don’t do this..” he brought a hand up to cup your chin, making you look up at him. 

you stared into his eyes and shook your head while his hand held you. “no, i’m not playing games with you anymore Hwa, I can’t. i’ve been sitting here, all alone, day and night…” feeling your heart race now because you’re confessing your true feelings and actions. “I’ve drinking myself to sleep sometimes because I didn’t know what to do with myself anymore.” unaware of the tears now rolling down your face, a broken sob came out of you as you continued your rant. 

“I kept telling you, over and over again from the moment you guys started touring. when it’s gone, it’s gone Seonghwa. That was your last shot…” pushing out of his hold, quickly wiping the tears away and regaining your composure. “It’s over! You can’t come back as if nothing happened!” you said walking towards the kitchen. 

Seonghwa stood in place, blinking slowly as he tried to process everything that was just said. 

Was he really about to let four whole years go down the drain like so? No. 

His heart wouldn’t let him even if he wanted to. 

He stormed behind you into the kitchen he gently grabbed your wrist, “No! It’s not over. Yn, you’re drunk right now…” turning you towards him so you can look at him, face to face. 

“Four years. Are you really going to throw it away yn? Everything we’ve been through? Does it mean nothing to you know??” 

“You’re holding on to the past Hwa, things obviously changed since the first two years..” now trying to wiggle out of his hold. 

“Stop it, I’m trying to talk to you yn! I’m not letting you go!”

“Seonghwa, let me go! You’re gonna wake the neighbors…” 

“Oh, as if you haven’t already, blasting sad music for God who knows how long..” 

You stared at him as he made that comment and your jaw slightly fell, how dare he? “Out. OUT!” 

He let out a deep sigh, noticing your actions now. He slowly moved in closer to you, knowing how you were about to break out into a tantrum, bringing his arms around your figure. 

“Get out Seonghwa!! Your shit is going outside, and you can follow suit! Get out of my face!!” struggling to get out of his hold. 

Seonghwa only rolled his eyes as your behavior started to show through, all he could do was bring you into a big warm embrace. Both arms around the small of your back, he brought a hand up to the back of your head and pulled you into his chest. 

The first thing that started to bring you back down to ground zero was his scent. The scent you fell in love with and always wanted to smell. 

“N-no…s-stop!” still trying to fight him out of the embrace, but his strong scent kept you in place. Memories flood your mind causing you to tear up again. “This isn’t fair…” another broken sob escaped you. “I’ve been here…all night! Just leave me alone!” bringing a fist up to beat his chest, but you only melted into his chest as you cried. 

Seonghwa rocked you side to side slowly, shushing you quietly. “I know babydoll…but i’m here now aren’t I?”

“But you’ve been gone for so long Hwa, it’s not fair!”

“Baby, trust. I know. I’m sorry, I don’t care how many times I have to say it, but I’ll keep saying it till you feel better. I’m here to make it up to you doll... it’s just the alcohol speaking for you right now.”

“I’ve been drinking since quarter to three...It’s bad I know.” now quieting down, just crying softly on his chest. “you’ve done me so wrong Hwa, I missed you so much.” 

Resting his chin on top of your head, he let out another sigh. “And I missed you just as much doll. Don’t ever think I didn’t miss you. You were all I thought of while I was away.”

The two stood embraced within each other, a moment that needed to last forever.

Seonghwa looked down at her and gently pecked her forehead. Your eyes now closed and completely relaxed in his arms, you were close to dozing off right there. After all, you did do some heavy drinking.

He cradled your figure closer, guiding you both towards the couch to sit down. Allowing you to get comfortable on him, rubbing small circles on your back as he listened to your soft breathing.

“I love you so much, let’s not call this a wrap okay...?”

[bag-for-life]

Semi-coherent self indulgent ramble about Edinburgh below, mostly because I forget things if I don’t record them somewhere - feel free to ignore…

- Within 10 minutes of getting off the train we spotted David O’Doherty, the first show we were seeing that night, I too loudly whispered ‘look, David O’Doherty, green bike helmet, oh my god’ and was instantly ashamed at having so little cool about that stuff although he either didn’t hear me or just convincingly acted that way - his show was fantastic, one of my favourites, I will always be excited to hear his ‘beefs’ song - shortly after the show while I was at the bar my friend saw him walk past with Josie Long, I was pretty relieved as I’m sure I would have started crying as I told her how much I loved her book

- Show 2: Frank Skinner, I wasn’t sure about this when we booked it, the audience demographic changed massively and it was a huge shift from lovely DO’D, he definitely flirted with some more ‘old school’ stuff about brexit but then moved away from the obvious jokes, enjoyable but not so much my thing, Russell Howard and David Baddiel were in the audience taking the comedian count up to 4

- Show 3: Simon Amstell was the last show of day 1 - very much a work in progress but enjoyed it, different again from the first 2 shows, we were talking to some people the next day who said they had seen him a few years ago and would never go again as he was so self involved, couldn’t argue with that so I suppose it comes down to if you like him in the first place?

- Day 2, show 1 was Daniel Kitson - just wonderful, he makes its look so easy, hard to talk about without going into the premise but so far removed from the work in progress show earlier in the year and I can’t wait to see it again once it’s ‘complete’

- Show 2: Tarot, another work in progress - I absolutely love them and was cackling like an idiot for the whole thing and can’t wait to see finished show, was accidentally too enthusiastic and got pulled into some very mild audience participation regarding Mr Blobby (and my brain just can’t do audience participation) pretty sure my response was shite but it didn’t even dent how much I loved it

- Show 3: Stuart Goldsmith - bang on the front row (at the side at least) good lord he has VERY twinkly eyes… also I think the first proper ‘themed’ show we saw, good but very strong competition based on earlier shows of the day

- Show 4: Last minute scarper to the next street over to see Stuart Laws, the first show where I hadn’t seen them before either live or on TV, great visual gag fairly early on. Really enjoyed it, more low quality audience participation from myself… decision taken not to sit on the front row again if I could help it

- Show 5: Nish Kumar was brilliant and I could have listened to him screaming about the government all night, also the loudest audience of the weekend and everyone in the room loved him. Ed Gamble was in the crowd and got some stick which was fun, it was billed as a work in progress but I wouldn’t have been surprised if it was unplanned and he just ranted for the whole hour

- Last show was an ‘All Stars’ show at the Udderbelly, booked mainly because we couldn’t get to see Chloe Petts’ main show - she was fantastic obviously - also loved Lara Ricote

- Day 3, show 1: Ed Gamble, brings out the mum vibes in me despite only being 5 years younger, I find myself thinking he’s a lovely young man, and so handsome too etc He was very funny despite the smell in the venue and the actual children in the crowd, have tickets for the tour next year and am hoping to see him walk onstage wearing his camping trousers

- Show 2: The same stinking venue (Hive 1) for Alison Spittle who took the step of spraying air freshener around the room, great segment where she made assumptions about people’s lives based on their favourite soups, the show was a last minute booking but fantastic

-Show 3: Paul Merton’s Impro Pals, we booked this based on our shared childhood love of watching him on Have I Got News For You, the friendly posh lady we sat next to told us she didn’t like it when comedy was political so we decided not mention how much we enjoyed Nish…it was fun but very ‘lite’ and we were ready to get shouted at by an angry Scottish man

- Show 4: Frankie Boyle, lots of shouting and calling people cunts, lots of his psychotic giggle, couple of what appeared to be walk outs but who knows really, he only heckled the blokes leaving the room which was interesting, took the Prince Andrew is a nonce joke count up by about 100 and loads of fun stuff about the royals which I enjoyed

- Show 5: Buffy Revamped - the only non-stand up show we saw but it was great fun, crowd was full of very enthusiastic people and some VERY drunk people but he handled them expertly

- Show 6: Ivo Graham - pretty chaotic and I’m not sure if it was because it started late or if that’s just the show/the man, regardless it was really fun and had a great audience participation angle that would have worked really really well if the show was extended over a couple of hours, still a great last show of the weekend

This was my first trip to Edinburgh and it was amazing, the bad stuff I had prepared for wasn’t as bad as expected (the crowds, the queuing etc) although it was obviously expensive and I doubt I could afford it every year, also it totally fried my brain so I’m spending the next week indoors and not talking to any other humans as much as possible

Disappointed not to have spotted a wild Watto and also guilty we couldn’t fit his show in, but I am going to see Search next month and have his book on pre-order so I hope that balances things out in the long-run (see also John Robins but with Howl later in the year and without the book) and I didn’t give up hope of a no more jockeys show until ludicrously late into the weekend

I think our comedian spotting skills were fairly poor - we also saw Paul Chowdry and Paul Williams (separately) out and about and then Amy Annette walking down the street with Nish and Ed after Nish’s show, but that’s it

Thus ends my ramble - pics of the stages etc on my equally ‘not of much interest to anyone but me’ shows I’ve been to blog @mylifeintickets