#shame i'd love to see it
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Cat color gene tournament
Round 1
Links:
Mackerel vs Inhibitor
Orange vs Persian wide band
Spotted vs Extension
Dilute vs Dilute modifier
Agouti vs Color restriction
Brown vs Locket
Ticked vs Karpati
White spotting vs Siberian wide band
#tumblr tournament#cats#links#(will be edited into this post once the round starts)#i reserve the right to change the matchups#i put lots of thoughts into it#oh i look forward the polls so much#i can't predict anything#(ok maybe dilute vs dilute modifier lol)#ahhh and i won't be able to find a picture of a ticked karpati that's for sure#shame i'd love to see it#well in the end i found#tho tbh she is a tortie so strictly she wouldn't qualify but... i decided that i can't see enough red on her to let this stop me#cat color gene tournament
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Quackity: I'm gonna say something to Fit, so I need the utmost privacy. Are you free for Valentine's?
Fit: Uh… 😬 No Quackity, I'm sorry, I'm– I have plans for Valentine's.
Quackity: .............
Fit: Uh, I don't think Tubbo does though!
Tubbo: No, nono– You don't need to– you don't need to–
Happy 1 year anniversary to Quackity shooting his shot (and very quickly getting shot down) 💘
#Hideduo#FitPac#FitMC#Quackity#QSMP#Tubbo#February 14 2024#Fit#Edited#I'd love to do more edits since so many funny things happened on Valentine's Day last year#But unfortunately my hand pain is very bad today so I gotta call it quits early#I do have one more I'll post in a few minutes though#Had to include Quackity's pathetic little house in the screenshot#Really adds to it#Crazy that he assumed Fit's partner was Tubbo LMAO#It's a frickin shame Quackity wasn't streaming because I would've loved to see his POV of this#''Pigs get greedy hogs get slaughtered'' is such an iconic Fit line pftt
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Bully sketch dump 3 + crops
I'm flying out so since I can't take my tablet with me I'm releasing all my captive sketches into the wild *magic hand gesturing*
(Thanks to @/bidisaster-peanut-romano for instigating Tad & Parker besties hc with me. I sob every time)
#And since having one stream of serotonin isn't enough#i've merged my current fixations together#Seriously tho#everytime I get to the Elysium boss fight#I only see derbif#if I had a nickel for everytime I love-hated a pretentious blonde character and their sometimes meaner reticent bodyguard#i'd have two nickels#Ted x Beatrice but SPECIFICALLY in the NPMD font#Shoutout to that one (1) Cornelius enjoyer artist because you were right all along#he should be a fandom fav#HC: Gord and Pinky get together for sunday gossip EVERY week.#Like sunday church! except cattier#they do not miss a day#then they talk for hours and get all angry#then they shop it all away#Tad and Parker#i hereby sentence you both to unlearn shame together#bully cce#canis canem edit#bully scholarship edition#bully game#art#bully rockstar#bully#bully fanart#jimmy hopkins#bullycce#gord vendome#derby harrington#bif taylor
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pfffft
con o'neill is out here living like no one else, and I respect the hell out of him for it
yeah man. izzy is a top shelf lay.
#it's a shame no one is fucking him#it might not fix him. but it WOULD make him worse. and personally I'd love to see that.#our flag means death#ofmd#izzy hands
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I love woe.begone I wish cowboys were real
#shame that they were made up specifically for woe.begone 😔 I'd love to see a cowboy in real life#woe.begone#w.bg
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collection of unfinished pokemon art recovered from my old laptop
#pokemon#gym leader allister#rival wally#subway boss emmet#trainer dawn#elite four acerola#champion iris#sketches#fanart#okay i know that one drawing of allister in the street with haunter isnt a sketch but i still never got it done. which is such a shame#i was working on it off and on for over a year. its time to McFucking give up baby!!#i might still end up working on some of the other things here a bit more tho. i'd love to see iris acerola and alli as idols fully rendered
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To all those people complaining about the 3 capybara choices for the pet poll in Evershine, what is wrong with you? What makes you think it's perfectly fine to complain about this decision to the general public when you should be coming to PATHEA about it? Instead you're going onto social spaces and whining because WAH WAH WAH 3 CAPYS IS TOO MANY!!! Can't you tell that these designs came from REAL people with VERY REAL feelings? You think the fans who designed those capys aren't reading these shitty thoughts and opinions and getting upset?
"waaaah they're so bland. wahhhh they look so similar. waaaah I don't think they'd fit the game."
Anyone capable of using their brain for more than a second would be able to tell that capybaras would be a wonderful fit for the game! I don't even follow the Evershine news very much and I myself haven't participated in anything Evershine related aside from backing the game, but I DO know that they're planning on having some kind of spa/sauna/bathing river area and what do you see capys doing in those cute videos on social media? Hanging out in the water. Being unbothered. Moisturized. Happy. In their lane. Focused. Flourishing.
Why don't you debbie-downer, fun-hating, joy-repulsed people go straight to Pathea over the lack of good decision-making they've been exhibiting all throughout the development of Sandrock (and Portia) instead of upsetting those who used their time, care, and creativity to create these cute little guys?
I personally know one of the capybara designers and they're one of my closest Sandrock friends! A complaint or two about the amount of capybaras is perfectly understandable, but to compare and reduce them to just "the same boring/uninspired/lame/bland animal with something different on their head" is a direct attack on those fans who designed the little guys. They don't deserve to go online and see posts undermining and hating on their amazing creations.
#my time at evershine#mtae#seeing all those reddit posts has my blood boiling man. what the hell is wrong with y'all. the damn nerve#even going so far as to making memes to shit on the designs??? are you serious? are you 12?#i'd love to know how those haters would have felt if they went through a similar situation.#seems like a good 60% of the fandom is incapable of feeling sympathy. such a shame
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Rukawa & Ayako Appreciation Post
I really, really love their interactions. Their dynamic is easy to overlook because they aren't each other's most prominent bond, but I like how suble yet well-built it is.
We know that Rukawa & Ayako went to the same Junior High, so unless I'm missing something (and I may be), Ayako is the one who has known Rukawa the longest (and vice-versa) at the start of the series. This is shown in various ways, notably in the chapter where Ayako teases Haruko by poking fun at Rukawa.
While Haruko idealizes Rukawa, leading her to project a bunch of stuff that he doesn't actually feel onto him, Ayako is the opposite. She doesn't see him through rose-tinted glasses and even pokes fun at him in order to tease Haruko.
However, when Haruko feels sorry for Rukawa because of Akagi going all out, Ayako is the one to spell it out for her: it's the opposite! Rukawa is the kind of guy who gets fired up by a challenge.
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The wording she uses is also very telling, because it shows that Ayako sees through Rukawa's aloof disposition and into the kind of player (of person) he truly is. She knows that while he may look uncaring, in truth he actually does care and he cares a lot.
I liked this exchange a lot. In just a couple of pages, Inoue establishes that Ayako has a well-rounded read of Rukawa. She sees both, the idiot (affectionate) kid and the incredible player. And she knows what makes him tick, too.
This happens once again near the end of the manga. During the tutoring session, Haruko is once again shown trying to understand Rukawa, but she does so by projecting her worries onto him. Just like last time, Ayako is the one shown having actual insight into him.
This isn't the only that caught my eye about their dynamic, though. My favorite thing would be the familiarity between them.
From the get-go, we're shown that Ayako is prone to teasing Rukawa; a welcome sight considering how serious he usually is. And we're also shown that Rukawa seems pretty used to it, always taking it stride even when Ayako airs his dirty laundry in front of the entire gym lol
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He also seems used to how touchy-feely she is, particularly at the start of the manga. He makes no effort to put any distance between them, which to me shows that not only is he used to it, he knows Ayako means no harm by it and is fine letting her be.
In other words, he trusts her.
This trust he has in Ayako is also shown in the way he respects her. While he may complain when she wants him to play mediator when the others are being idiots, he listens to her most of the time. The biggest example of this for me is during the fight with Mitsui. When Ryota yells at Rukawa to stop, Rukawa doesn't listen. He only stops when Ayako steps in, grabbing his arm and telling him that he'd only make the situation worse.
This is big, because the manga shows that when it comes to Rukawa, respect is earned. Case in point, it takes him a while to start attaching "senpai" to Mitsui's name. So by the start of the manga, Ayako has already done enough to earn Rukawa's respect.
Their interactions are also super easy-going, once again showing the familiarity and trust there is between them.
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So while their dynamic may not get that much attention in the manga, I feel like we see enough of it to get a clear idea of how well they get along.
I think it's really sweet that Rukawa has a reliable senpai in Ayako, even more so because literally every other girl around him is too busy projecting their fantasies onto him lol
#slam dunk#ayako#rukawa kaede#kaede rukawa#so I know I'm probably shouting into the void but I can't help it#I'm so fond of them!!#shame we don't see anything about their junior high days because I'd love to see how ayako earned his respect and trust#(also before someone mentions piercing#I don't count it because - the way I see it - that ayako is based on SD ayako but they aren't the same character)
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hey hi hello! first of all i'd like to say i took your patron saint uquiz and it. Changed my life unironically it's so good. i follow you now because every line in that quiz was a gut punch and i loved it. top tier hurt honestly
my question is this - i am a fanauthor. on the side i also write my own original fiction but i specialize in fanfic. Am I allowed to use your poetry for a reference folder? I wouldn't use your poetry in a fic without explicit permission and without linking back here of course, and I'd never use it for commercial work outside of maybe taking inspiration without copying, but I wanna have a ref folder of Things That Made Me Feel Things about a character. It's not planned to be public as of yet, it's just supposed to be a bunch of screenshots in my drafts, but I'd like to maybe one day make it public once the fic was complete. (I already have your blog linked in my drafts actually, so if it goes public I'm not gonna forget.) I just want to make sure you're comfortable with me using your poetry for fanfic of all things
It's cool if not and have a great day! I still think your poetry is great and evocative and all
hi, anon! you're all good, i prommy. so glad you like the quiz + the poetry, and i would always prefer people come and ask questions if they're uncertain! no trouble at all.
my general stance is that as long as it's clearly credited, i am totally cool with my work being used in personal projects. like you said, i've got a tag for the things that people make! i love to see what people create. if it's for a noncommercial creative project then i would say there's no need to ask beforehand (unless it would make you more comfortable to ask, in which case go ahead and i'll almost certainly say yes <3). my only thing is that if you post it, please tag me in it/send it to me so that i can reblog it here for people to see!
if there are any questions about using my work that anyone has, feel free to ask. i don't think i've got anything particular going on outside of common practice! same way you'd treat, like, a richard siken poem or smth: you wanna credit it so that people can find the source material, and make sure you're not using it for profit unless you have an understanding with that author. i trust you all to be decent about it <3 kiss kiss go out and make your cool little things so that i can be delighted and amazed with them
#extremely selfish motivations i think you should all go make things with my poems cause i love to look at them#collecting them on the blog like pretty rocks to look at every so often#except instead of rocks they are like. beautiful pieces of creative work.#i just think it's so cool that you can take one set of words and then use them to create something new. isn't language and art awesome#anyway trust you all! except that one person who copied my. quiz questions. of all things. girl come onnnnnnnnnnn#would've said you could absolutely use my quiz for inspo as long as you credited me somewhere... that's all that it comes back to...#anyway. i'm bigger than someone using my really unique and awesome quiz questions on uquiz dot com. (<— affirmations)#do i need an FAQ? i feel like i'm assembling enough topics to warrant an FAQ.#something to think about...#ask#not poetry#OH MAN ALSO. FORGOT TO SAY IN THE ORIGINAL POST. fanfic is so totally cool with me. i write fanfic lmao#if you are an astute observer... and you know how to get to my main account... my ao3 link is there you can read me for filth#this is halfway a trick question cause my main account is so incredibly easy to find and if you've taken the quiz you saw it#unless you came here straight from like. uquiz. and didn't see the tumblr post. in which case WHOA.#... people know that it's just my main account posting the quizzes right. like the matching usernames make that clear??#just occurred to me that it might cause some confusion. whateverrrrrrr as i said no shame in fanfiction i love to see it haha#making no promises cause i am so bad at watching media and probably won't know what it's about anyway#but chances are pretty good that i'd read the fic if you sent it to me. non-zero for sure#(<— guy who wants to see people using his stuff for creative work so so so so so so so fucking bad)
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if dan and phil live streamed i'd watch them for hours
#i watched a gaming video of theirs for the first time#backrooms bc i love backrooms#and it was fun!#they're very funny#phil is craaaaazy what is going on in his brain#also it took me a LONG while (years) to know who was who bc i'd always see them as DAN&PHIL#anyways im gonna watch their 20 minutes video of a quiet place#shame its so short</3#ive been watching streamers play it#its very nice background noise#ehm anyways#bye#gotta do hw mmmmm#dan and phil#mwah everybody#you got this
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Happy Vargasversary! Only one meme this year, but I do have a few Vargas-themed online dolls and Picrews for your viewing pleasure lol
I’m so sad about Flash!! It’s just not the same with Ruffle, at least there’s Flashpoint. Anyway, pretty sure I made this Scriabin before the shutdown haha
I can’t find this one, which is such a shame! I think it’s a total classic :0 Something something computer Scriabin haha, there’s no long hair option! Wires are a good enough stand-in
Had to do it the other way around too of course. Don’t tease him! (Do tease him)
Kitty!Edgar! Being able to add things like his glasses, goatee, striped “shirt”, even his bangs! So many lovely options 💕
Feeling normal, covered in blood. I always love when Makers include the Red String, it is Excellent ✨
Rinamaru‘s Anime Avatar Creator, THE maker GOAT to me ♥ Got a sequence of Edgar newly face-cut-up, with the bandaid on his nose, and then “fully” healed hehe
Ladyverse!Jake and Edgar! ♥ I think I was going to make Scriabin as well but there weren’t enough features that’d suit him so these two got the feature instead ♪ I can’t find this one either, I think it’s a Picrew though...? Update: Smol found it!! Thank you!!
Smol also made the boys with one of her fave Picrews! For only really knowing Vargas from my incessant talk (lol), I think she captured them quite lovely :D
I also had to give them a go of course haha, I’m very happy for the option to remove eyes lol
#💟#Shitpost#You think that just because I only have one meme I'm going to miss a national holiday???#Lol#21 years........ Vargas can now drink in the US lol#I know I had another meme edit in mind like a week ago and it's been eluding me ever since >:0#Well if it comes back to me I'll have one ready for next time haha#I've been on the fence about sharing these sillies because well - they're silly! But they're also cute and I like them :)#Shame about the ones I can't find now I even scoured Flashpoint for the one I know was around before Flash shut down :(#I really can't remember what the girls sitting next to each other one is tho >m< If anyone recognizes them I'd love a link!#Very much want to give credit to these lovely artists <3#Scriabin is shockingly difficult to make in dollmakers lol - he's just too beautiful to be correctly perceived smh#Edgar on the other hand is quite easy so he gets a lot of the spotlight haha#I rarely stray outside of those two but hmm maybe going forward seeing if I can make a complete set ♪#Anyhow lol
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We'll never get a third Ritchieverse Holmes movie. But if we somehow did, this is what I like to think should happen.
I would absolutely love for the inciting incident to be that, since the reason Holmes faked his death was because he wanted to keep Watson and Mary safe, the reason he has returned from faking his death is because that backfired and Watson and Mary are very much not. Why aren't they safe, you ask? Well, because Moran is on the revenge trail. Typically, he didn't have much personal investment in the killing of his targets, but we all saw how absolutely furious he got when Watson nearly killed Moriarty and escaped with Holmes. Now Moriarty is dead, and Moran has no job, no purpose, no one in the world - nothing, save for anger and grief. He cannot kill Holmes, because he does not know Holmes still lives. But if Holmes took the life of the only person Moran ever cared about, then even if he's not around to suffer for it, he will do the same to him.
Except, naturally, Holmes is around to suffer for it, and this cues the ending scene of the movie where Holmes coyly reveals he's alive, and would pick up right from there. There would be action! There would be shenanigans! Holy hell there would be character drama! Watson and Mary are absolutely going to beat Holmes's ass within an inch of his life, but also Watson is so, so very glad to have him back... Mary's not forgiving him ever for what he put Watson through, but how can she - how can they - bring themselves to be fully angry when he went through this to the end in an attempt to ensure their happiness? Especially when, if one considers the reason he closed his eyes to be for Watson to be the last thing he saw if he died, Holmes wasn't even completely sure he'd successfully fake his death... And they can't just unpack that while sitting in a house somewhere talking about their feelings, because Moran and the remnants of Moriarty's wide-reaching organization are very hot on their heels.
How does the movie progress? Well, I'm not entirely sure. I would love for Moran to get betrayed by those he conspired with, and be forced to work with Holmes and Watson (and Mary, who is adamantly refusing to let these two do all this on their own when her life is as endangered as theirs) on some level, thus forcing everybody - including Moran - to actually talk to each other. I also want to show that Holmes is beginning to get tired of all this - he loves the adrenaline, he loves to exercise his genius, he hates being bored, but he's also tired of the people he cares about constantly being in danger because he knows he can't always protect them. He knows that, because of what happened to Irene.
How does the movie end? Well, I can certainly tell you that. As a significant portion of the fanbase and Jude Law himself will tell you, the Ritchieverse Holmes movies come off very, very strongly as romances. In most cases, I am not the sort of person who advocates for any given ship in a medium to be acknowledged as canon just because a lot of fans like it, especially since that can often lead to disastrous results... but Christ alive, these movies are leaning so ridiculously hard into Holmeswatson vibes that I can't imagine it was an accident. And, well, part of the reason I want Moran to figure so heavily into this movie is because I think there was quite a bit of potential exploration of what exactly his relationship was with Moriarty just in the few tidbits you saw of them together... perhaps through a few flashbacks sprinkled in after Moran confesses what they really were to each other. Because if there's one thing I love, it's parallels. Watson and Moran, the military veterans and crack shots who are so very attached to the often-difficult genius masterminds they love. Unlike the singly-devoted Moran, Watson's affections are torn, because he adores Mary with everything he is, and is constantly fighting himself and pretending he can give up Holmes for her even though he can't imagine a life without both of them in it - but he is no less devoted for it. In different ways, they both cannot see a way forward - Moran cannot without Moriarty, Watson cannot because he cannot choose. So, in terms of an ending, I want Moran not to have to be killed by our heroes, or die in some sacrifice, or take his own life. I want him to have to live, without taking revenge. To figure out some kind of life, now that he's been spit out by the Queen's Army, and has lost the new life he was given now. It's more interesting, and less cheap, especially if this movie serves to build up and add depth to his character. And as for Holmes and Watson, well, it's not 2009 or 2011 anymore, so what's to stop your loose action movie adaptation of century-old, now-public domain stories from just going ahead and having them admit they love each other? (Or, potentially, having Mary admit it for them, to one of them, because she is sick and tired of their bullshit?) Why not let them, after all this is over, finally, finally share a kiss?
And as for the epilogue, I think it would be super fun and endearing if it cuts to Watson and Mary finally moving into that country house in Sussex together. He and Mary love each other, they're happy, they'll do so very all right. Then they get a knock on the door to find that the old woman who lives in the house next door has come to bring them a housewarming gift.
Except it's not an old woman. It's Sherlock Holmes dressed as an old woman. He has gone into early retirement to keep bees, and he just so happens, by pure coincidence, to have bought the house next to theirs.
Watson and Mary are exasperated. Then they probably think it's really funny, while still being exasperated. And ultimately, what Watson needs to realize is that there is something in this world that is insistent upon keeping these three together. If all of them can put up with each other - as they have shown they can just manage to do, this whole movie - and if all of them care for each other - as they have shown they undoubtedly do, for this whole movie - then no matter what he was sure was the "correct" and "right" thing to do before, he does not, and has never had to choose. Holmes doesn't have to steal him away from Mary any more than Mary has to steal him away from Holmes, because the great lesson of the Ritchieverse Sherlock Holmes movies ought to be that sometimes, polyamory is the best solution. And they all live in Sussex together, and quibble incessantly, and remain there for the rest of their days.
P. S. The number one thing this movie is absolutely, positively not allowed to do is kill off Mary. I don't care if she dies offscreen in the books, these movies did not have so much of their character conflict be Watson's inability to choose between her and Holmes for that to conclude with the immensely cheap act of offing her - not to mention that that would mean killing the only remaining major female character left in the series, and that these movies are so far removed from the ACD canon anyway that they can literally do whatever they want.
P. P. S. I don't have anywhere else to put these since I'll certainly never finish an entire screenplay concept for this without help, so here are a few disconnected, inaccurate-screenplay-format snippets using this idea that I jotted down on my phone way, way, back. Enjoy?
~~~
Opening shot: pigeons.
It’s early morning, and a man sits on a bench with a small bag of birdseed. He takes a handful of it, and reaches out to them. They flock around him with enthusiasm, some perching on his arm and hand.
The pigeons know him, clearly. It is SEBASTIAN MORAN.
He turns to look over his shoulder.
Moran: Hey, Professor, do you -
He stops. There is no one beside him.
Something hardens in his face.
He continues sprinkling birdseed. But his movements are listless, and it is clear the act no longer brings him much joy.
~~~
Holmes: It appears that Moriarty’s death, while ultimately a public service to the human race, has unleashed a far greater and more unpredictable danger to you than I could have imagined.
Watson: A danger?
Holmes: Indeed. And so long as I was believed to be dead, I was sure you and Mary would be entirely safe from it.
Watson: What - ?
Holmes: But I am now very much aware that that isn’t so, and so I have returned.
Watson: What danger, Holmes?
Holmes: Sebastian Moran.
Watson: Sebastian Mor- What, Moriarty’s right-hand man?
Holmes: The very same.
Watson: But why would he come after us? His superior is dead, he hasn’t got any orders -
Holmes: This has absolutely nothing to do with orders, Watson, and everything to do with the precarious and emotional nature of the human condition.
Watson: For the love of God, Holmes, can you just explain -
Holmes: I mean to say that this is entirely personal. Moran did not just work for Moriarty, he cared for him. Though to what extent, I haven’t the slightest idea.
Watson: For Moriarty?
(A disbelieving chuckle.)
Watson: Delusional bastard. I can’t imagine Moriarty cared for a soul in the world.
Holmes: And he may not have. How fallible man is, hm?
Holmes: Nevertheless, I believe that the colonel is seeking revenge. And if he cannot get it on me, then he will not stop until he has slain everyone I have ever cared for.
Holmes: Thus, my return from the grave. But I’ve already said that, haven’t I?
~~~
Holmes: No. No more deaths. No more lives lost because of me.
Holmes: …Not after Irene.
~~~
Moran: You should have died like the dog you are.
Holmes: Perhaps I would have, if I hadn’t known that Moriarty’s dog still lived.
Holmes: I had - foolishly, perhaps - thought that were I to die, Watson and Mary would be safe. A life for a life - my life, for Moriarty’s. No more.
Holmes: But you weren’t content with that. Were you?
Holmes: You wouldn’t stop until you’d killed everyone that meant something to me, even though I wasn’t there to see it.
Holmes: What will you do, if you succeed? What will you have left? It’s not as if revenge will bring him back.
Moran: You’d do the same if you lost your bloody Watson, wouldn’t you?
(Holmes is, rarely, silent.)
Moran: …And I don’t know how to do anything else.
~~~
Moran: …You’re wrong.
Moran: Nobody was kind to me. Not until I met the professor.
Holmes: But of course. It behooves a smart man to take good care of his tools -
Moran: You don’t know anything! It was real, what we had!
Moran: …It was real. I know it was. Because he told me that he didn’t even want to like me, at first, let alone…
(He trails off, as if thinking better of it. But then he shakes his head with a bitter chuckle.)
Moran: …What’s the point? I’ll hang for all the murders I’ve done. Another felony won’t mean much.
Moran: I loved him. And you’re the reason he’s dead. So I’ll kill everyone you love, and then I’ll kill you, or I’ll die trying.
~~~
Okay, that's it. If for some reason you read this far, thanks for sticking around! And if you have any personal thoughts on a third Ritchieverse Holmes movie, I'd absolutely love to hear them. See ya!
#rdj holmes#ritchie holmes#sherlock holmes#john watson#mary watson#sebastian moran#james moriarty#holmeswatson#holmeswatsonmary#moraniarty#and well i suppose i should tag this the almighty#johnlock#i honestly think all my screenplayish tidbits are waaaaaay too on the nose lmao#but i didn't want them to sit on my phone forever#but man is this a movie i'd love to work on if it somehow existed#even though there's no way it could given how much older all the actors are#i've seen and heard about numerous continuation concepts#but i always thought it a shame that they left out the fact that moran is still alive and kicking#and the fact that moran clearly cared about moriarty is such fun and barely explored territory in the movie#and appeared in none of the continuations that i could see#(sure it's entirely possible to interpret it that moriarty was just using that care)#(but i think that's boring)#(much more interesting to have your ruthless terrifying criminal mastermind villain be capable of genuine care)#(after all he canonically cares for those pigeons doesn't he?)
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on my quest to find more books to read this year, there's been something kind of heartwarming to see that of the books on hold at my local library, or on the weekly bestseller's list at my local bookstores, there's always at least one book up there that's about Palestine. It's at least nice to see that some people in my area want to learn about the historical context of what's happening now, and learn far more than what a few posts on their feed can tell them. It makes me hope that public perception will continue to change for the better - and that the kind of support I've seen in my area won't die down immediately after a ceasefire is called
#storyrambles#palestine#i'm always hesitant to make any posts about palestine given my lack of personal connection or deep knowledge beyond the#continuous reading i've been doing#but idk. i wondered if this might be nice to see for people who do have a connection and feel discouraged.#and well. i don't think there needs to be a personal connection for one to feel happiness in this sort of situation#it needs to be so much better than it is currently. but i'll be honest#i really thought these protests were going to peter out very quickly after they started. that people would say 'it's a shame'#but not act. i've seen the same thing from previous outrage.#and i think that's because outrage doesn't carry as long or as strong as knowledge does.#eh i'm rambling again. i guess it's just nice to see people caring. even when the people who should speak for us civilians do not.#it's a mixed bag of emotions.#all my love to everyone affected by this. i wish you didn't have to be as strong as you are.#but for as long as you have to. i'd like to stand strong with you. and i hope that's enough to see real change.#ceasefire now
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the betrayal scene in utena makes me feel some kind of way
#like if anthy had just stabbed utena without the physical contact I'd be a little less complicated abt it#but NOOOOOOOOOOO#anthy just has to fucking KISS her SHOULDER#and HOLD HER as she CRUMPLES TO THE GROUND#the GENTLENESS. THE.#I remember seeing that scene as a kid and going woah. thats. she's in love with her isn't she#shame about the sword in her back#utena#revolutionary girl utena#anthy himemiya
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#having a creative rut feeling#gonna rant#im basically a giant baby and i don't handle angst very well#and i constantly worry that im just. idk mentally weak or a deeply uninteresting person bc of it.#every big fantasy artist i see is usually very into making sad or angsty pieces and like i wish i was like that#like i fall into this mental hole very very often that im just holding myself back with how many subjects i dont write or draw#but also like when i DO write dark subjects it doesn't make me feel any better??#i dont like feeling sad or angry bc once i am its extremely hard to get back out of it.#and thats scary for me.#but also i want to make art that means something instead of my nonestop slew of smut and feelgood content.#i genuinely feel so trapped by my own emotions and its sp frustrating.#i keep getting told how good for you it is to get the negative feelings out but it never helps when i do it#i just feel. worse? i dont feel good.#i kinda wanna delete the one cloud post bc it just doesn't feel good.#ugh#idk i want to have good intelligent things to say and thoughtful art to make#and everything i make feels soft and cheesey and lame.#not that i find those things lame#but just that it feels like im stuck in baby brain.#when i was a teen i would write horror stories!!! i still love horror!!!#but if i make someone suffer in fic now it feels me with this awful awful overwhelming sense of dread and guilt and i end up so upset#im frustrated at me bc this is such a fucking weird sensitivity to have. im tried of telling myself its okay#bc i WANT to feel mentally free enough to create shit that isnt just uwu soft.#i don't think im making sense but like.#you know#I've literally been bullied out of fandom spaces for only making soft content#multiple times.#so idk maybe this is a learned sense of shame#but i feel like a big over sensitive baby and like I'd be able to do so much more if i wasn't#vent ish
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I know I've not been posting this season (life's been busy and I'm not sure if I'll watch eurovision itself so didn't feel the need to do full rankings for everything) but I did watch the FiK final tonight and I am so happy to see Zjerm win!
#eurovision#esc2025#albania#I've been listening to nf songs as they release just to find new music#there were only two from Albania that I could really see myself coming back to a lot#and Zjerm was one of them!#Unfortunately I really wasn't vibing with Orgesa Zaimi this year#shame as I really liked what she's done in the past#but I'd still love to see her back in the future#and yeah personally I wasn't feeling Karnaval#I fully understand why it has its fans I think it's fine as far as its genre goes#but it's not my genre and not good enough to win me over anyway#I have slight reservations with the more spoken section in Zjerm#but the instrumental is so good as is her voice
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