AITA for offering money to the fair maiden in love with me instead of agreeing to marry her?
I (1547M) am in love with my boss’s wife, “Jen” (1543F), who happens to be the queen. It sounds bad, but she’s also in love with me. My coworkers were getting suspicious, so I’ve been pulling away to avoid being found out. She was not happy about this and accused me of flirting with other damosels. I haven’t been, but she kicked me out anyway, and things have been tense ever since.
My boss/sovereign lord, “Anthony” (1545M), was getting ready to head out for a big joust, and I was supposed to go, but I was still pretty hurt from the last one, so I was going to stay behind. Jen was also staying behind, and she said it looked too much like I was staying to spend time with her. (Mixed messages?) I left for the joust the next day because… what else was I supposed to do.
When I got to the castle where everyone was staying, I asked to borrow a shield with a less obvious symbol on the front so no one would know who I was during the fight. I met the host’s daughter, “Ellen” (1536F), and she very sweetly offered me a token of her affection (red sleeve with pearls) for the joust. Now, I’m pretty well known for never wearing any lady’s token, and I told her as much. I thought this would make my disguise even better. I asked her to hang on to my branded shield until I got back, but I didn’t tell her my name to avoid word getting out by accident.
Long story short, I won the joust anonymously, but my old wound started acting up, so I left early. At this point, I was a little delirious. Ellen found me, and, okay, I did kiss her. Just this once, though. I’m not proud of it, but you try being in pain and seeing a fair maiden who’s come to take care of you.
She told me one of my coworkers, “Wayne” (1538M), dropped by her house and that she had shown him my shield, which is how she learned my name. I immediately realized he would’ve taken this back to the team huddle, and Jen would definitely find out about the red sleeve and think I was in love with Ellen.
After a while, one of my other coworkers, “Boris” (1559M), shows up and tells me about another joust I should probably attend, and I’m just itching to get out of bed. Being waited on hand and foot and nursed to recovery is great, but I’m a guy who needs to be out in the world. So I sent Ellen out to gather herbs while I got my buddy to help me get my armor on and saddle my noble steed. Unfortunately, I may not have been fully healed because riding reopened my wound, and the maiden heard me shout and came running. She absolutely caught me sneaking out, but luckily blamed the hermit we were staying with and my coworker for letting me out of bed. Love makes people blind and all that.
I missed the joust, and Boris returned and told me all about it. I realized I really needed to get back to my life, but when I went to leave, the fair maid was all: “Have mercy upon me,” and I was like, “What would ye that I did?” And then she proposed. I mean, I was flattered, but I can’t be tied down. I said no. And then she asked if I would be her lover instead, which would ruin both her honor and mine, so again, I said no, and she threatened to die of her love for me.
As a compromise, because I couldn’t marry her, I offered her and her future husband and heirs a thousand pounds a year. I think that’s more than fair, considering we were never even together. She passed out, and then her father got involved, basically asking what his daughter was supposed to do now. I argued that I never gave her any reason to fall in love with me and that I was sure she could find a nice man to marry her.
When I finally made it back to work, Anthony and Jen summoned me because, apparently, a dead woman showed up in a barge with a letter in her hand explaining her love for me and how that caused her death. Not a great look. Jen asked if I could’ve been nicer to Ellen to save her life, but I think I handled it pretty well by countering, “love must arise of the heart, and not by no constraint.” I explained that Ellen only wanted to marry me or be my lover, so I offered her money. Anthony was on my side, and Jen ended up apologizing for misjudging me. So:
AITA for offering the fair maiden money instead of marrying her so I could remain loyal to my relationship with my boss’s wife?
EDIT: I guess the names were too close because one of you snitched on me to “Anthony.” Watch your back at the next tournament.
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When a snowstorm blasted North Carolina in January of 2018, the swamps of Shallotte River froze over. During winter months, alligators go through a semi-shutdown mode called brumation. During brumation, their metabolism slows right down and they float to the surface for the briefest sips of oxygen. During this rare weather in January, ten alligators stuck their snouts out at the very right moment. The swamp froze completely over, leaving their bodies frozen underneath but their snouts in the air allowing them to breath and survive the harsh frost.
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Paintings that came to my mind whilst watching Alicent in 2x07.
Sir John Everett Millais: Ophelia, 1851–52 // William Shakespeare: Polonius to Ophelia in Hamlet, Act 3, Scene 1. // HBO: House of the Dragon, Alicent Hightower in 2x07 // William Shakespeare: Ophelia in Hamlet, Act 3, Scene 1 // HBO: House of the Dragon, Alicent Hightower in 2x07 // Alfred Tennyson: The Lady of Shallott, 1832 // John William Waterhouse: The Lady of Shallott, 1888 // Alfred Tennyson: The Lady of Shallott, 1832 // HBO: House of the Dragon, Alicent Hightower in 2x07 // HBO: House of the Dragon, Alicent Hightower in 2x07
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