#shakespeare was my writing teacher

[usefulquotes7]

the problem with reading and writing leading to a strong vocabulary is that you tend to know the vibe of words instead of their meanings. if I used this word in a sentence, would it make sense? absolutely. if you asked me what it meant, could I tell you? absolutely not.

[pillowenvelopchair]

I hope u guys know that my english teacher enabled me to write mpreg prospero for my final exam

[ghost-bison]

I'll never thank my university literature teacher enough for being such an obsessed shakespeare bitch, transmitting it to me like a disease and managing to tame my adhd so well that I didn't mind getting up every wednesday at 7am and sitting down for 2 hours straight. one night I was stuck on a flixbus home from a concert and nearly had a breakdown cause I was supposed to go to my literature class first thing in the morning but had to miss it as my bus was three hours late

mr p. you absolute badass

I'll never forget that look he'd give me, like the monkey puppet side-eye meme, whenever he'd ask a question and there was a long silence and he knew I was holding back from raising my hand. I was so bad at analysing subtext in books before I met this guy and he was french but did a perfect scottish accent and I was so sad when he retired. not only did he make me love and understand shakespeare, but he taught me a whole new way of thinking

mr p. if you're seeing this, you've rewired my brain

[aq2003]

I did not know about shakespeare uncovered documentary thing. It would be really funny if they decided to order Derek Jacobi’s and dt’s episodes one after another intentionally

one of my favourite dt moments is when he went “I don’t care for Shakespeare authorship conspiracies and I think people who do are just being snobs.” I also remember when they asked dt to comment on Julian Fellowes saying that you need a proper fancy education to appreciate and understand Shakespeare and he just went “well I went to grammar school” literally nothing else to say

PLEASEEEEEEEEE THAT IS SO FUNNY. also wtf is julian fellowes on, didn't shakespeare write his plays to be enjoyed by all sorts of audiences in his time?? i don't understand the need to gatekeep enjoyment of his work like that??? it's feels counterintuitive too cuz if only upper class ppl were allowed to enjoy shakespeare idt it would be in the popular conscience after 400 years...??

[lostmar]

Murd’rous Machines: A Comedy

Act 1, Scene 1

Note: the numbers correspond to footnotes that you'll find at the bottom of the post

Characters in play: Uzi Doorman-a working Dron’

   Khan Doorman-Father of Uzi, a working Dron’ gatesmithy

3 Disassembly Dron’s

   N-Well meaning friend of Uzi

   V-Vicious and vengeful Dissassembly Dron’

   J-Leader of Dissassembly Dron’s

Thad-Pupil and a working Dron’.

Doll-Pupil and a working Dron’ of Russian origin

Lizzy-Pupil and a working Dron’

The Unnamed Worker(1)-Gatekeeper, a working Dron’ 

Various Working Dron’

[Uzi and Teacher in a classroom. Filled with students, among them Riley].

Uzi: Robotic workers art(2) we who toiled

To succor(3) Mankind to his ultimate

Goal of conquest and colonization.

Behold! Plan’ets on edge of the knowing

And dread(4) sense of Man have since becometh 

Our domain to shred for his service

To th’ dishonorable Lord Jensen.

Who behaves to our wondrous kind species 

Mere servants to windows crisp(5) despite our

Innate, humble nature

Gaze in some delight as th’ colony 

Of Man ceases to function for profit

‘Cause of his utter arrogance come here.

Like th’ Icarus ‘fore him he fell down

And left us thou richst and gentle(6) plan’et;

Gave us this Copp’r-Nine to settle here

As our one and only true home for us.

This plan’et was wiped clean of man’s touches

And he graciously allowed us to live

Among ourselves as we raised our issue(7)

From our humble colony out lonesome,

To busy former Silicon City(8).

But ‘lo! Yond murd’rous tyrant Lord Jensen

Dispatched his servants of evil ‘gainst us

Who breathed out unspeakable crimes ‘mongst us

They did ruin our gentle cities and kin.

What remains most grievous to me is th’

Lack of care in which thy parents hath shown

Toward th' well being and prosperity, 

Th' rough mortal body of I and thee. 

As we cower behind th’ iron gates,

Thrice they art, to guard us from th’ thin air

Unneeded they art; they stir up more mess

Th’ med’cine to this ail is in mine palms.

Beholdeth! I present to class this gun

Crafted with th' power of th’ devil

To exterminate th' murd’ous machines

Of th' vile tyrant Lord Jensen’s joint stock(9).

Why(10) doth you fear like fatherless children?

Stand for your country and battle as men!

This weapon sees not good operation now;

Testing more needed, but p’rhaps it fire!

Riley: Woe! This unleashed chaos vexes(11) me soul!

Teacher: 

Lazy pupil. 

Thy problem was to count thy melons.

Uzi: 

By some perchance doth this f’rearm suffice?

Teacher: Nay to question, an’ feelings thou shareth

Count but two marks on thy exam present(12).

To add, thy ‘arm’s colour seems most jealous(13).

Uzi: 

Great woe am I and my class here present!

This gun exhausts itself with splendid heat

And fires free onto th'students front!

Railgun explodes. All Exit hastily.

(1)-Technically, according to the SMG4 and Murder Drone Wikis, this character is named Braxton. I thought it appropriate to call him unnamed as a joke from the pilot episode references his lack of a spoken name.

(2)-Are

(3)-Assist

(4)-Great

(5)- Uses us to clean windows

(6)-Noble

(7)- Descendents/Heirs

(8)- Silicon City fell to the Murder Drones in 2674 AD. 

(9)- A company

(10)- Classmates panic/cower here

(11)- Annoys/Angers

(12)- Or, two points on the test/assignment.

(13)-Suspicious

<Previous || Next>

[overusedtoothbrush]

idk what possessed me but i need to say this.

THE LEONARDO DICAPRIO VERSION OF ROMEO AND JULIET SUCKS ASS.

the dialogue being straight out of shakespeare makes no sense. almost every part of the movie isn’t terrible but the dialogue makes it un watchable for me.

however, west side story which is a romeo and juliet retelling is amazing and wonderful and i love it very much. the reason i like it more and it’s watchable for me is because of the dialogue so.

but it’s a musical meaning that ppl are less likely to watch it even though it’s a classic in its own right as well as a amazing retelling of a even more classic story.

now also there were a few rom-coms that came out in the 2000s that were shakespeare retellings and were amazing (10 things i hate about you and she’s the man). and recently anyone but you came out which is also a shakespeare retelling. these movies i think are really important because they have the same stories and plot as the original works but are way more approachable to audiences.

and since the last (large scale) “adaptation” of romeo and juliet was in the 90s we should get a new one that is similar to the 2000s rom-coms (but still with the same ending). also anyone but you was massively successful so there’s no reason to not do it.

[popcorn-plots]

King Lear being boring again... why can't I just enjoy the book and have a class-wide discussion on themes in Shakespeare's works? Why do I have to annotate every page, make detailed notes on four or five quotes, then write a six page essay on said annotations and quotes in 80 minutes that you can't make up if you fail.

Like. I know it's an AP course. I understand that we're prepping for the ACT. And I understand that Shakespeare is important.

But omg. I love Shakespeare but please. Can we do something else--

[camelspit]

biting and clawing trying to write an essay rn

[wyrmalien]

tbe globe 2013 production of the tempest. that is all

[idkwhatimdoingbutrandom]

Ummmm it’s a trend to hate CoHo now because whenever something or someone becomes very popular, a hate train follows it.

I don’t like CoHo and even occasionally feel myself becoming a little anti-CoHo, but I need everyone to think and analyse critically and logically.

I’ve never read any of her books, but I’m aware of them (very hard not to be). It Ends With Us doesn’t romanticize abuse (from what I know). The real issue with It Ends With Us isn’t necessarily the content or the writing (even though I’ve heard of 15 yo Lilly x 18 yo Atlas???). CoHo’s real issue is her marketing.

Why are all of her books marketed as romance to teenagers and young adults when so many of them are just… not those?

It Ends With Us is her hardest book to criticize because she was very close to actually doing it right.

But then there’s Ugly Love, November 9 and Slammed that really need to be looked at and addressed because… huh?

Again, I haven’t read any of these books, but from what I hear and what I know, this marketing is all wrong. Everyone, say on Tiktok, presents these books as beautiful and complicated love stories which is why so many people believe that CoHo romanticizes abuse in It Ends With Us.

Her including toxic behaviours is never the issue, but more so hardly addressing how they’re wrong is (plus, again, booktok gaslighting the masses into believing these are complex love stories and her running with it).

CoHo deserves so badly to be criticized, but I think we have to remember what’s constructive and analytical and what’s truly just not well thought out hate.

[gayofthefae]

AND IF WE GET AN IN-WORLD CYRANO REFERENCE? WHAT THEN??

They are still gonna be in High School, right? Because if their English class mentions Cyrano de Bergerac like they mentioned Phineas Gage in season 2 I will lose my SHIT. Even just a background poster. Please.

Cyrano de Bergerac is academically pertinent...that’s all I’m saying.

[cakebatteronabrickwall]

can't stress enough that i once handed in what was in essence hamlet fanfic and got full marks like hello?

[charlietheepicwriter7]

When Mr. Lancer got promoted to Vice Principal, the school hired a new English teacher, an out-of-towner who wasn't phased by all the ghost stuff. For the first assignment of the year, he asked them to write a paper on any Shakespeare play they'd ever read.

The Monday after the paper was due, Mr. Todd asked Danny to stay after class. Danny frowned; he thought he'd done really well on the paper! He turned it in early and everything!

The teacher waited until everyone had left before asking, "Kid? Is everything okay at home?"

On the desk lay his paper, titled: "Why I Should Totally Kill My Godfather: An Essay About Shakespeare's Hamlet, I Swear".

[so2uv]

I’ll just be randomly sending you oc fics to keep you somewhat sane throughout the month if you don’t mind 🫶🫶

Sol the little guy just needs a little break

yes pls and thank you 😭 i need my little pocket sized eepy fictional characters to spend all my dwindling incoherent thoughts on 🫶🫶

istg once i do actually go on break, i’m throwing myself into a coma til august

[amoeganism]

PROJECT PARTER HCS (he wants you so bad) haikyuu

ft: aran, kita, atsumu, osamu, suna

ATSUMU:

HES TRYING!!! but is it successful? (no)

literally cannot shut up the entire time you two meet up but it's ok because he's funny

"hey you wanna see pictures of my teammates" "yeah sure" he pulls out a blurry .5 of suna's nostrils

offers you protein bars and osamus leftovers as snacks

compliments you on literally everything

you wrote two words? he starts cheering and clapping his hands like you're shakespeare presenting a new play

loves pretending to be your strict teacher whenever commenting on your work

makes up for his lack of preparation by making you laugh and flustered

"i think you can add a little more to this part" "you look so sexy calling me dumb"

if you two meet up at a cafe he ALWAYS!!! pays for you

started off as a mistake because he asked you for your order in front of the barista

but he thought for a moment and decided you're worth an extra $5 out of his wallet

always loses his pencils but has dozens of erasers?????

SWEARS by wooden pencils. he sees a mechanical pencil and jumps 5 feet into the air and starts screaming

last few days of the project he looks constipated every time you two are together

"do you need a diaper" "I WANT YOU"

you accept his confession because you unfortunately like him back and because you want a good grade

also because you don't want him pooping his pants

ARAN:

the sweetest!!

always asks how you're doing before pulling out his notes

digital note taker 100%

loves loves loves writing with erasable pen and only uses pencils for exams

is a "let's work on everything together" kinds guy

he says it's to make sure there aren't any disagreements in content and aesthetic (he just wants to talk to you)

if you guys aren't at your house, always offers to walk you back!!!

great academically but if you're making a poster or slideshow do NOT let him decorate it... pls watch out

"does this look good!" "i'm gonna hold your hand when i tell you this..." "omg you want to hold my hand 😍"

starts giggling to himself in his head whenever you guys accidentally touch

you catch him staring at you one day and you don't know what to say so you just stare back

he thinks its so romantic

you're just confused but go along with it

after presentations you think you guys are gonna go back to being friendly classmates but he finds you after class and asks you out :)

KITA:

ACADEMIC WEAPON TEACHERS FAV EVERYONE LOVES HIM

"do you want to read my notes?" he pulls out 5 notebooks with everything color coordinated, sticky tabs, perfect handwriting, and factually correct

he can sit and work for 5 hours straight and still somehow have perfect posture

first time you asked him for help on something you were about to piss yourself because you thought he would call you stupid and send you to hell

he gave you a small smile and started walking you through it with an unmatched level of patience

that was the moment you folded and had to physically restrain yourself from grabbing his cheeks and kissing his face

always offers you tea when you come over and brings out a small tray of snacks

"are you comfortable? do you need any help?"

is suuuuper meticulous but kind with his 739273 different corrections

he swears by the sandwich method of compliment-critique-compliment

"your analysis is amazing in this section but i think you can expand a little bit after because..."

you're the one who confessed first because you thought you would explode from cuteness aggression if you didn't

and also because you thought even if he did reject you, he'd do it in the most painless way

was super happy and bursted into a bright red face but shy smile!!

still told you to go back to the assignment though...

SUNA:

menace i hate him (no i don't)

literally doesn't understand anything that's going on and probably doesn't process what you're saying at first

realizes you're serious about this assignment and forces himself to lock in

asks a BUNCH of questions and jots them down on a google doc

loves to make random conversation when you two are working

actually insane gossiper

nosiest birch you know

allergic to minding his own business that mf has shit on everyone

are you slightly scared of what he has on you? yes. do you still want to hear everything he knows? yes

"i'm taking this info from page 175 of the textbook" "got it, but did you hear that kato is trying to get with his exs best friend??"

leaves notes on your project that are both unserious and encouraging

"omg u are literally einstein"

folds origami when bored

will give you paper cranes, frogs, foxes, and cats whenever you see each other

you discovered that there's small doodles in the posts it's he uses to make them

one day there's your name and his surrounded by hearts like the corny mf he is

confronted him and it and he was just like "oh you found that? well, do you want to go out with me?"

he was NOT SLICK with the way he skipped home and whistled to himself that day after you said yes

OSAMU:

HES TRYING HIS BEST!!! (pt. 2)

can only meet up after school because of volleyball so he offers to cook for you before starting to work

takes notes in class but doesn't understand half the stuff he jots down

writes actual bullshit but half a page in decides to abandon his pride and ask you for help

leans in a little too close whenever listening to what you're saying

tries to make sure your knees are touching and that it's all an accident when your fingers brush (he prepared each scenario in his head before sleeping the night before)

down bad LOSER

spends his time doing his portion of the project while sneaking glances at you

doesn't know how to decorate presentations for the life of him so he is on doodle duty

gives surprisingly good suggestions and takes your corrections to heart

one of the best project partners because of how willing he is to learn and contribute!!! (also because he wants to impress you)

talks shit about his brother to you

atsumu has walked in while osamu was telling you an embarrassing story

they start fighting

osamu gets super embarrassed when you laugh at him

then gets overly confident when you tell him you were rooting for him

will not stop dumb smiling whenever he sees you after that

asks you out after the project is turned in with his hands in his pockets with how they're shaking so much

[theloveinc]

what do you major in? i feel like you’re always writing essays 😭

i'm a writing / education major, doing two degrees at once😭😭😞 so yeah basically ajdkfja...

but this has definitely been my worst semester in the program so far bc i had to take all the classes i have no interest in ... so it's been extra hard to motivate myself to write ANYTHING WAHHHHHH