#sf acupuncture | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

haikumomentsandinspiration · 5 years ago

Text

#healthcarevacation, Part III

My last update was on August 25, 2018. So much has happened since then, so there will be at least two more parts to this documentation. If you missed earlier updates, you can read Part I here and Part II here.

First of all, I did come up with a tattoo idea (see my last update) and got one last summer. I had had a challenging spring term in the 2018-2019 school year, and needed to remind myself who I am and what I’m about. So I went to my tattoo artist and asked her to design ”a badass mermaid” for me. A siren that’s feminine and strong (not a skinny blonde mermaid, please!), a siren who looks like she is ready to kick some ass if need be—soft, with hard edges.

And I got just that, along with a tattoo on the side of my belly of a fertility symbol from traditional Turkish kilim patterns.

But let me back up.

After August 2018, after a ton of research, we decided to go with donor egg IVF in Spain. Our patient coordinator at the clinic we chose was lovely and super communicative. She was available via WhatsApp anytime I had a question or anxiety or both, and made sure I knew what the next steps would be and when. I felt well cared for.

During my winter break, I flew to Spain soon before our donor’s egg retrieval to start the treatment. I flew into Barcelona to give myself some time in my favorite city before flying to Valencia. I had a cold right before my trip, and in Barcelona, I started feeling like my cold may in fact be a sinus infection. I was miserable. I managed to go outside, get some fresh ginger, some lemon ginger tea, cough drops, and congestion meds. I needed to get better...STAT.

Two days later, on the day I was to fly to Valencia in the evening and meet Gene at the airport there, I woke up to the news Gene couldn’t fly out to join me that day because his passport wasn’t good for at least 6 months. (Being Turkish, I wondered if someone had “cast the evil eye” on us.) Eventually, Gene was able to miraculously take care of all the paperwork, get an emergency passport renewal, and catch the same exact flight to VLC 24 hours later.

The day after G’s arrival, we took a bus to Gandía for our first appointment at Irema clinic. My uterine lining was still a bit too thin, so they upped my meds, but told me not to worry since I still had a week before the scheduled transfer day. That evening, Gene and I flew to Barcelona to boost morale before the transfer. I was feeling slightly better, but Gene ended up catching my cold. Sigh. Things were just not going as smoothly as I had hoped.

A week later, we headed back to Valencia and then to Irema clinic for my second scan. My lining was still too thin, but other than its thickness, it was looking exactly as it should. They doubled my estrogen dose and postponed my transfer date. I went to the market the next day and shopped for food with a focus on thickening my lining: nuts, avocados, olives, apricots, sardines, chicken broth…My third scan, on December 31, showed my lining was almost there (7.7 mm, with the goal being at least 8 mm thick, so we set the transfer date for January 7. Things were looking up, except I got sick with another cold while still not 100% over the first one, and spent New Year’s Day sick in bed.

Gene left for SF two days later. That he had to go back before transfer day was hard for me. I sent him updates via WhatsApp along the way and tried to stay connected as much as possible (this was a major challenge for me and really got me down). I found an acupuncturist of zero reputation (someone working from home and with no reviews anywhere, which was not unusual in Valencia), but who was very sweet and kind and seemed to know what he was doing, and started seeing him to get my body as ready as possible for the transfer. We had three good quality embryos from our donor, and after much discussion and research, we decided to transfer just one this time, and save two for later for a second attempt or for a sibling later on.

The day before my transfer day, I walked about an hour to the beach, prayed, meditated, and communed with the sea, wishing for a positive outcome the next day. The next day, I found out the embryo we were going to transfer was classified as an A-quality embryo, and my lining was just fine. Transfer was quick and painless, with an all-women team. I went to get fertility acupuncture next to seal the deal, and the next morning, I flew back to San Francisco hopeful, ready for this to finally work.

It didn’t.

But it wasn’t even that simple. The first blood test, my levels came back really low: technically pregnant, but disconcerting if I were indeed pregnant. I was to go back 48 hours later to see if my levels doubled as they were supposed to; we held onto the sliver of hope. But no. Negative. I couldn’t feel the sadness at first — Gene had just started a new job that day after a long stretch of unemployment, so we were celebrating and grateful. Then, a couple of days later, the emotions hit. I felt distant, quiet, impatient...and in need of a new tattoo.

And that’s how the badass mermaid/fertility design tattoos were born.

Fast forward to the summer. After a brief visit to Israel for my grandmother’s 90th birthday, and a week in Istanbul next, I flew back to visit Irema clinic in Spain for the transfer of remaining embryos.

In the meantime, our awesome patient coordinator Lauren had quit her job (some internal drama, which made it sound like she made the absolute right choice). I only found out when I contacted her in preparation for the summer’s transfer to find out what our next steps should be, and had someone named Sergio respond to my text instead of Lauren. He was terrible at communication and not half as knowledgeable as Lauren. It was a very frustrating period, but we had no choice since we still had embryos at the clinic.

July 3, 2019: transfer day! We had decided to transfer both of the remaining embryos this time. We really wanted twins, and if only one took, that was fine, too. We’d figure out what to do about a sibling later. I wasn’t sick this time. I had been upgraded to business class last minute for no apparent reason on my flight over. My lining was where it was supposed to be from the start, and we had two embryos this time. Everything was going smoothly. My sister Rina joined me at the end of my stay in Valencia to help me with my bags, and we went to Barcelona together for my two week wait. All was well; we were joyful and filled with hope.

Because the transfer day happened earlier than I expected compared to our last experience, I had more days in Spain post-transfer than I had anticipated. This meant that I would still be in Spain when I got my blood work results back. I decided I would not delay the wait. I had my blood test done, then went to the beach with Rina. I didn’t swim, just in case I was positive and had to avoid getting an infection. I told G to let me know when he got home from work so I could look at the test result with him on the phone and we could get the news together.

Finally, close to 2 am in Barcelona, with G on the phone, I finally took a look.

Negative.

It was an awful Whatsapp chat. This, we had been convinced, would be the successful one, and it wasn’t. We just sat there, each in our feelings, not sharing them. I felt devastated and alone. Hurt. Mad. Heartbroken. Isolated.

Hours later, when Rina woke up on the morning of her flight back to Istanbul, I told her the news through tears. She said she didn’t want to leave me behind like this; I said I would be fine, and that there wasn’t anything she or anyone could do. I just needed to grieve, and her being there with me or not wouldn’t change anything. Besides, why pay extra money to hang out longer with a depressed sister who doesn’t feel like doing anything except staying in bed crying? Rina went back to her room, made a phone call, and came back to tell me she was staying three more days and that was that. She left to give me some space and to get herself some coffee, and returned a little while later with a bubble wand for me (I am about to cry just thinking about it now.) I got up, blew some bubbles from the balcony of my room towards passersby below. Bubbles have always made me smile. And to my surprise, even under these circumstances they still did.

I got my period a few days later—a few days after Rina had returned to Istanbul and a few days before my own trip back home. That week after the test results and before my flight back to SF, back to Gene was the longest week ever. I tried to make the most of it by finally enjoying all the foods (including ice cream) and alcohol I had been denying myself in Barcelona due to my fertility-friendly diet.

And then, back home, it felt like the longest time ever until I stopped grieving. What finally helped me find a sense of inner calm was to start researching next steps. I started researching clinics in Spain all over again, making phone calls, having Skype chats at all hours of the night (due to the 9-hour time difference), exchanging numerous emails with a number of clinics and their former patients…

Eventually, after I did all that research and laid out everything on a spread sheet, we settled on a clinic in Barcelona and decided to gamble on their birth guarantee/shared risk program. What that means: instead of paying for one cycle (about $9K), you pay a flat fee (about $20K), which gets you three cycles with three different donors and a healthy baby at the end of those, OR all your money back. So the clinic is taking a risk in that they could lose $20K if you don’t have a successful birth by the end. And you take a risk by paying $20K instead of $9K because if the first cycle works, that’s $11K down the drain. We decided it was worth it since I’d had so many failed cycles, including two donor egg transfers thus far. And we figured the clinic would be taking especially good care of us because it would be in their best interest for us to have a successful cycle as soon as possible. Next challenge: figure out how to finance all this. After more research, more emails and more chats with people in various Facebook groups, we settled on a plan and decided to go for it.

December cycles hadn’t been kind to me. I’d had a December cycle with my own eggs in Turkey a few years back, which we had to cancel when my body just didn’t respond to the fertility meds. Our first donor egg transfer in Spain had also failed and was the one cycle when my lining took its time getting to the minimal acceptable thickness for the embryo transfer. Knowing cold weather is not my body’s friend, I was hesitant to start the new cycle with a new clinic in December, but I was also not getting any younger, so there was no time to waste. It was back to Barcelona in December 2019, and this time, Barcelona was the location of the clinic and our only destination, not a short trip between clinic visits in another visit. Everything would be much simpler.

Clarity sure felt good, and knowing what our plan was for up to three cycles (which could span the period of the next two years) was a huge relief to me. I felt so much lighter. I felt hopeful and confident again.

December 2019-January 2020.

Barcelona.

Let’s do this.

To be continued.

2 notes · View notes

elevatewellnesskauai-blog · 8 years ago

Photo

Resilience is a quality too many of us underestimate in ourselves. How do we hold on to happiness and create abundance in this fast paced world? By adapting a positive perspective to an ever changing environment. Every problem offers an opportunity for a thoughtful solution. Take a tip from this native 'Ōhi'a Lehua bloom. It grows strong and beautiful in a dried up lava flow with no other life in site. How do we adapt our perspective? By making life happen for us, not to us. Be accountable, don't assign blame to outside influence creating perceived failure, and adapt to any environment by altering what we think is possible:) Like the native 'Ōhi'a tree of Hawai'i, you too can flourish in the sea of lava that burns all your haters away! Comment below or share with a mentor you love or has loved you❤️❤️❤️☹️😐😃😁👊🏼❤️❤️❤️ . . . #elevatewellnesskauai #massage #abundance #meditation #yoga #wealth #health #healthy #sf #la #wellness #travel #instagood #instadaily #picoftheday #flower #plant #tree #acupuncture #lethawaiihappen #discoverkauai #kauai #hawaii (at Elevate Wellness Kauai: Massage, Acupuncture & Health Services)

1 note · View note

shakeurhairgirlwithurponytail · 5 years ago

Text

Wild Beauty: What is Facial Acupuncture & Cupping?!

One of the worst things about moving, in my opinion, is having to find all new specialists. A new eyebrow person who understands what to do, a hairstylist you can trust with your look, etc. Since moving to SF, I’ve been on the hunt for an all new beauty team to help keep me looking great for modeling. Out of the blue, like the little beauty angel guru that she is, Dr. Kim Peirano of Lion’s Heart…

View On WordPress

#acupuncture #Facial Cupping #LED therapy #Micro-currents

2 notes · View notes

sfnewsvine · 2 years ago

Text

What to know about health FSAs before CARES Act relief rules expire

Staff could need to regulate the stability of their health-care versatile spending account. Momentary guidelines below the 2020 Cares Act that allowed you to roll over unspent FSA funds from one yr to the following or gave you longer to spend the cash — if your organization adopted the provisions — come to an finish Dec. 31. There might be loads at cash stake: Balances are an estimated 46% larger this yr in contrast with 2021, mentioned Rachel Rouleau, chief compliance officer for FSAStore.com. Extra from Private Finance: Listed below are methods to trim your 2022 tax invoice The place to get one of the best return in your money Automotive consumers paying 10% above sticker value “Folks might have extra money than ever left to spend and never notice they cannot carry over a limiteless quantity,” she mentioned. “These short-term aid extensions are expiring.” Guidelines on how well being FSAs work Well being FSAs let employees stash away pretax cash for qualifying medical bills. The restrict for 2022 contributions is $2,850, up from $2,750 in 2021. (The IRS has not but introduced the 2023 cap.) The usual deadline to make use of your health-care FSA cash is Dec. 31 of the yr during which you make the contributions. A couple of third of firms, 36%, present a 2.5 month grace interval to spend the cash, and 42% let you roll over a restricted quantity to the following yr, in response to the Worker Profit Analysis Institute. On the remaining 23% of firms, you forfeit funds remaining in your account after Dec. 31. The short-term guidelines which might be poised to run out allowed firms to let their grace interval final a full yr and/or take away the restrict on the quantity that is allowed to be rolled over. Greater than a 3rd of employees with a grace interval, 37%, find yourself forfeiting half or all of their contributions, in response to EBRI. Nonetheless, that is beneath the 48% with a standard Dec. 31 deadline who forfeit cash, and 49% of those that are allowed to roll over cash. If your organization allows you to roll over an quantity into 2023, the utmost allowed is $570, Rouleau mentioned. In the event you’re unsure what the principles are on your FSA, attain out to your organization’s human sources division, Rouleau mentioned. Alternatively, you possibly can test your on-line FSA portal (if your organization has one) for info. There additionally ought to be a cellphone quantity on the again of your FSA debit card you could name. The record of FSA-eligible gadgets was expanded in 2020 In the meantime, the record of eligible medical bills that qualify for FSA use was expanded by Congress in 2020, and that applies to you it doesn’t matter what firm you’re employed for. So that you might be able to discover eligible merchandise you generally use as a option to keep away from dropping funds. For starters, over-the-counter medicine not want a prescription to qualify. This consists of issues resembling chilly medicines, anti-inflammatories and allergy drugs. Moreover, menstrual care merchandise are actually eligible, as are gadgets which have turn into pertinent in the course of the pandemic: at-home Covid exams, masks, hand sanitizer and different private safety gear used to fight the virus. Bear in mind, nonetheless, that the IRS doesn’t enable stockpiling, which usually means you possibly can’t purchase extra of a product at one time than you should use in that tax yr. The specifics, although, are decided by FSA directors. And, after all, you should use your FSA funds for bills resembling physician and dentist appointments, prescribed drugs and different health-care companies resembling acupuncture and habit remedy. There are also gadgets that you could be not know qualify, resembling sunscreen, thermometers, eyecare merchandise, child screens and being pregnant exams. FSAstore.com has an inventory of eligible gadgets in case you are unsure whether or not one thing would qualify. Originally published at SF Newsvine

#SF Newsvine

0 notes

a-softbird · 3 years ago

Text

Some updates:

-this month I found out my school is closing (it was a board decision by their partner school)

-I’m working my way out of a stable-ambiguous relationship and reconnecting with my sense of self worth, part of this has been some family of origin work

-I feel like I am maturing..this season of my life has been very humbling in the sense that I’m recognizing how truly valuable I am and what I’m no longer okay with

-at the same time I did find a place in SF and, while the interior is dreamy, with a little reading nook and built-ins- and it even has a bathtub, I’m consciously deciding what really fills my cup in a place to live (and like I’m learning from the relationship, this place isn’t it but rather a place that I am outgrowing)

-I’m looking into doctoral programs at other acupuncture schools

-I had such a gorgeous moment sipping oolong tea at one of my favorite restaurants in this neighborhood, it reminded me how powerful and healing sitting with a cup of hot tea is

#little life updates

1 note · View note

holisticalameda · 4 years ago

Text

Longcovid study by SF Community Acupuncture Clinic

According to the CDC, we are learning that many organs besides the lungs are affected by COVID-19 and there are many ways infection can affect someone’s health, and in particular longcovid remains an enormous question-mark.

Circle CA of San Francisco (1351 Harrison St. 94103, (415) 864-1070, [email protected]) has conducted and last month completed an exhaustive study about #longcovid and how acupuncture can best help deal with this.

Circle CA aims to provide and promote public access to affordable acupuncture via sliding scale fees ($25-55), thereby removing financial, cultural, and educational barriers to patient access of acupuncture centered healthcare. Very similar to the POCA manifesto.

Despite unfortunate #covid restrictions, Circle CA still manages to provide acupuncture, herbal medicine, and massage in a peaceful and respectful (also distanced) smaller group setting.

In further support of this important ‘public good’ manifesto, We’ve been sent a PDF of the longcovid study and hope to share findings here over the next few weeks!

Starting now.

All photos in this post courtesy of Circle CA.

#covid syndrome #covid_19 #longcovid #acupuncture #circleca #circleCASanFrancisco #harrisonstreet #dorestreet #doreatharrison

0 notes

t-underneaththeradardancing · 5 years ago

Text

we could ...an as of late rara avis moon glimpse and foto op - no murders

slow n ez im trynna - played a bit - took care of minimal biz - had my mind eased - wuz pouring so no acupuncture not that they related

i remember - birdsong perhaps - delusion

its darker and gone now - the moon - imma lissen strange - a title - iz strangelings a wurd even or did i coin it - ah they sample doors mr mojo rising

wuz thinking not over for a change - an i remember - love - fuck it keep it simple - that wuz ez - nature accepted change incremental and ffs u love as is or not at all - everybody wanna rule the world - we all shine on but its a fucked up brave new world we leavin ( no not soon that i know of we being poetic n shit - i got a license wanna see see rider - wait - thatz ur certificate from vita naming u crow ambassador - the large stick powerful like teddy roosevelt )

it may sound crazee like a train ride w ozzy - i wuz recitin a verse to the unpoet - paul simon - “a good day/ aint got no pain / a bad day lay in bed of think of the things that might have been - then the father son scene and i break down - it happens more often since the hospital - the cryin maudlin - izzit a step up or down from whining - i wonder

i forgot to get water - the whole point to - i blame it on the moon not the sun stevie ( man the playlist and u awreddy forgot cc rider trynna decide wat version ) or tide and

so 2morrow b bizzy if i do wat planning - still get fuck all done by most standards but moon dream crow feed poeming getz no credit even in sf - guitar play maybe more but musicians and i getz no credit for all the covers learned and discarded - that nobody hears but cinder - maybe a neighbor

vita trynna get us gigs in davis - i mean where - they actually pay us - not that every performance wont lose $ - t u did have a biz plan when u started yah?

ffs that wuz in the summer we were musketeers or sumpin onna mission from god and jim belushi whom i believe originated the liver is a muscle tho it may have been akyroyd - im junger than that now - no u know things blew up fucked up or if u dont u do

now

trynna -see the twain dont meet - imma juggler but all good fools r on the side and musicians r just melodic fools

walk in love even if its a hobble - no it aint that bad cept a moment here n there u know t like his whining ( so duz trynna and whining rhyme - i mean ur mind sorta hear the try ing despite the ) and anywaze u know everythings a gamble - dont treat nothing like a hobby - despite the tax man - we all pay

s’ok

later

love

#poetry i guess

43 notes · View notes

anchoracu · 5 years ago

Link

Looking for a facial acupuncture treatment in San Francisco? Connect with Anchor Acupuncture & Wellness for facial rejuvenation and long-lasting effects. Call us at 415-855-3112 to schedule an appointment today.

#fertility acupuncture sf

0 notes

haikumomentsandinspiration · 5 years ago

Text

#healthcarevacation, part IV

Today is Sunday, May 10, 2020: Mother’s Day. (I like that in Turkish, the name of the day is Mothers’ Day—plural. I prefer that.)

This felt like the appropriate time to sit down and catch up with the documentation of this long journey.

If you need to catch up, you can read Part I here, Part II here, and Part III here.

So where were we? Ah, yes. December 2019. The pregnancy/birth guarantee program at Fertty International Clinic in Barcelona, Spain.

In my research looking for a new clinic after the last failed transfer (and the poor communication after staffing changes at our old clinic), one thing became clear: G. needed to have more tests and analyses done to try to figure out why all these transfers, including a donor egg cycle with two transfers, had failed.

After much struggle trying (in vain) to have Kaiser cover the tests and analyses Gene and I needed to have done, we realized it was going to be cheaper and easier for Gene to fly solo to Spain in November to get all that done. He would come back to SF, we would wait about three weeks for the test results, and then, based on the test results, we would finalize the protocol for me and the embryo transfer.

Thankfully, G’s results came back normal, everything within expected ranges and levels. So our application to the birth guarantee/shared risk program was officially approved. I would go to Barcelona (solo this time) at the start of my winter break, have a first scan to check my lining, adjust my medication as needed, and get ready for transfer day in about a week.

On December 10, G and I went out for sushi in San Francisco one last time (we hoped) before pregnancy, and a week later, I left for Barcelona. My first check up at Fertty the day after my flight was mostly just blood work and an initial scan to see how my lining was coming along. The lining was fine, but surprise, surprise: I was getting sick with a cold—December flights/weather change were working their magic on me again. My doctor asked to see me in a couple of days, and told me to keep the clinic updated on my health. Two days later, my cold had gotten worse, but my lining was still all right. I spent the rest of the day looking for a reputable and affordable acupuncturist (the second part being the challenge), and thanks to a friend’s rec, I made an appointment, with a focus not on uterine lining support this time, but on kicking this cold’s ass before transfer day.

I took it easy that week, feeling no pressure to do any sightseeing since my priority was the healthcare part of this #healthcarevacation without a doubt. I feasted (!) on soup, bone broth, and hot tea and not much else for several days, and slowly started getting better. My clinic decided to keep my transfer day as scheduled: December 27. Meanwhile, Rina joined me again in Barcelona for a few days for emotional support leading up to transfer day (she doesn’t need much of an excuse to travel, especially to Barcelona).

December 27: Transfer Day! I went to the Fertty for my final blood work before the transfer and to sign some papers. Then, off to fertility acupuncture, and back to the clinic for my transfer. Everything went smoothly; we transferred one embryo this time, with four more good quality embryos left for future attempts/a sibling, so I was feeling good and positive. Besides, their recovery/rest room was the most comfortable one I’d been in in all these cycles at three different clinics. After resting a bit, I went out for lunch, then headed back to my acupuncturist for a post-transfer fertility acupuncture session. Stick, baby, stick!

I took it easy the rest of the time I was in Barcelona. Went out for a walk at least once a day, but had lazy days for the most part.

On New Year’s Eve, the woman I was staying with, Renata, and I went for a late lunch at her favorite Brazilian Bistro (she’s from Brazil). And for dinner, we decided to go to my favorite Turkish restaurant, which I knew would be open till late with their regular menu and would not be charging an arm and a leg for a modified menu. After lunch, Renata, another Brazilian friend of hers, and I walked to the beach for a Brazilian ritual honoring Iemanja (Brazilian spelling). We made wishes, prayed, meditated, and threw yellow and white carnations to the sea for Iemanja, then sat together and watched the sunset. I felt so grateful to be invited to join this ritual (this will be my new cultural appreciation vs. cultural appropriation example the next time I teach that class!). Ever since I’ve known about her, I’ve always felt drawn to Iemanja—being a Pisces and considering my home to be the sea more than any piece of land and all. I felt at peace, and all felt right in the world in a way that I hadn’t felt for a while during this long fertility journey.

I took it easy the next day. And the day after that, the morning of January 3, I had some spotting...very faint, but still spotting. I called G. and cried on the phone. But as he said, we were not out yet. I let Fertty know, too; they said they would up my progesterone dosage and monitor me closely. I had a big lunch and a late dinner that day. Big mistake. I woke up around 3:30 am, nauseated, and threw up twice. In the morning, my spotting had gotten slightly darker, but it was still not heavy spotting and definitely not considered bleeding. I went up from 600 to 800 mg of progesterone a day, and followed the BRAT diet—well, just the R part. The following day, I was feeling better, and finally went outside and played tourist. Surrounding myself with the beauty of Barcelona felt healing. Meanwhile, my clinic told me I could come by the morning before my flight back home for a blood test so they could tell me sooner than later both the result and what the next steps would be. If I weren’t pregnant, I didn’t want to keep taking all those pills and patches loaded with hormones.

January 7, 2020: pregnancy test day! A year ago today was transfer day at Irema clinic, I noticed. I had a glimmer of hope, but no gut feeling either way. I repeated the lesson I had learned from a guided meditation that had been helping me a ton: there is hope in uncertainty! I distracted myself by finally sitting my ass down and doing some lesson planing for my cultural competence/equity literacy unit. In the middle of that, around 2:30 pm came the phone call from the clinic. “Do you want me to tell you on the phone or do you want to come in?” I didn’t want to go in just to hear “I’m sorry...” and I wasn’t sure I wanted a hug. You can just tell me now, I said, bracing myself.

And that’s how I found out I was pregnant.

I don’t remember the exact words the patient coordinator said. I just remember it took a second for it to sink in, and then I started crying while still somehow continuing the conversation and smiling from ear to ear. I finished up my work, and headed to the beach for sunset, which was my plan whether it was positive or negative. Whether I had to celebrate or grieve, I wanted to do it facing the sea.

I went to the beach, watched the sunset, thanked Iemanja, thanked the Universe, and recorded an “IVF Log” video, which I assumed we would eventually share with our baby.

At this point, you may have noticed I didn’t call G as soon as I heard. The next day, January 8th, was my flight back, and the day of our first date 11 years ago. The plan was to tell him in person—our anniversary gift.

When I arrived home, I didn’t let him know I already knew. I didn’t know if he knew that I knew. We had decided on no anniversary presents this year since we had plenty of medical expenses. Turns out G got me a couple of gifts. I would have been upset with him when we had said we weren’t doing presents. Instead, I went to the bathroom, took the pregnancy tests I’d been saving for this day, then went back to the living room, saying I did have some presents for him from Spain. I gave him the couple of small gifts I had gotten for him from Barcelona. Then, I said I realized there was one more thing, and went back and got the pregnancy tests.

The adventure didn’t end there, leaving its place to a blissful period. I had some bleeding week 7 and week 8, and ended up going in for five ultrasounds in those two weeks, freaking out each time since that’s around the same time in my pregnancy and the exact way my miscarriage had begun back in 2016. Each visit, though, instead of the “I’m sorry...there’s no heartbeat” of 2016, we heard “there’s the heartbeat” and exhaled, immensely grateful. After week 8, all was well, but I remained cautious and scared, and didn’t want to share the news with anyone other than family for a while.

Then, the month after my return from Spain, of course: a global pandemic! We were handling all the challenges of this fertility journey so well, apparently, that the Universe thought, “Here, how about a global pandemic during your pregnancy in case things seem too easy now?” “Awesome,” I thought sarcastically; “what perfect timing.” Then, I realized: wait...this IS perfect timing. I came back from Spain, and not long after, Spain was suddenly one of the epicenters of the pandemic, one of the first countries that took significant precautions. This pregnancy did have perfect timing for real. I feel for women whose cycles had to be canceled or postponed.

Today, Mother’s Day, is exactly 22 weeks into my pregnancy—we are more than halfway there to our estimated September 13, 2020 due date. So it feels like it’s a good time to share the news at last.

I want to say that I do not take this pregnancy for granted—especially with the context of a global pandemic and how it has impacted assisted fertility cycles in mind. Each day, I thank the Universe “for this healthy pregnancy—for all the healthy days so far, and all the healthy days to come.” Each time I light a Shabbat candle, I pray not just for my own family and friends’ health, but also for all who are pregnant, and for all who are trying to get pregnant. I had thought that after almost five years of trying to conceive, when we finally succeeded, we would have celebration and community...and hugs! Instead, we found a global pandemic, isolation, distance from our loved ones, and more than the usual dose of a new parent’s fear of the unknown. Last month, I spent a lot of time crying upon slowly realizing all the things I wasn’t going to get in this pregnancy:

- being pregnant out and about in the world and experiencing what that’s like, even with all its irritations (people trying to touch my belly, people not giving their seat up for me on public transportation...); watching people slowly notice it at work...

- looking at baby stuff in person with G.: “OMG...Look at this one! Isn’t this soooo cute?!?”

- an all gender (in-person) celebration/party with our family/friends in July or August (silver lining, I guess, is that family/friends who aren’t in the Bay Area can attend the Zoom party now...whatever that will look like);

- going to Turkey in June one last time in a while before the baby comes; being pregnant on a beach in Turkey; going baby stuff shopping with my family in Turkey; eating all the amazing food in Turkey and knowing it was nourishing not just my soul, but also our baby.

- having my parents’ hands on my pregnant belly, feeling the kicks of their first grandchild;

- coming back from Turkey with my mom, who wanted to come for a visit before the baby to help us get ready at home;

- the September visit from both my parents; possibly having my mother in the delivery room, and knowing my dad is in the waiting room, being anxious and impatient; wondering if Rina could make it, even, and if she could, knowing she would be taking some amazing newborn photos.

Gratitude has been my savior this whole time, and it still is. I know we will have time with my parents, my sister, and my in-laws as they each meet our baby in person eventually, and we will all make beautiful, sweet memories. I know there was a time when there was no FaceTime that would allow a partner who’s not allowed to be at the anatomy scan to still be there virtually. I know there was a time there was no anatomy scan via ultrasound. I could go on.

There is so much to be grateful for still. Thank you, Universe, for this healthy pregnancy—for all the healthy days so far, and all the ones to come.

1 note · View note