#sexy salmon

[bookmothic-dyke]

@your-average-art-dealer

You reminded me you made her, so here you go. Lol.

I feel blursed by her very existence.

As it turns out a surprising amount of gay women also like fish.

Or they like seeing other gay women talk about their interests

Either way all I have to say is

:3

[sonoyin]

Ebi Sushi 🍣

[maddie-grove]

The “you think this has nothing to do with you” scene in The Devil Wears Prada is so interesting to me, because on one hand:

It is precipitated by the protagonist openly scoffing at a discussion over which belt the model should wear because they look similar, which is a silly thing to do, both in the sense that of course visual details matter at a fashion photography shoot, and in the sense that it’s generally inadvisable to go to your workplace and let everyone know how stupid you think the work is; and

It is interesting to think about how fashion trends travel across different markets.

But, on the other hand:

I think that one is morally justified, if impolitic, to show disdain for an industry where everyone is always calling you fat and stupid and ugly. Normal workplace rules don’t exactly apply;

Miranda called her sweater ugly in the same scene! Is she not, by her own logic, responsible for the sweater’s ugliness? If she can sneer at clothing from less expensive retailers, why is it a problem for Andy to indifferently wear an affordable sweater and scoff at high fashion?;

Kind of embarrassing in 2006 for Miranda to not acknowledge the downmarket to upmarket fashion influence at all; and

Andy, as a member of society and a resident of a city that gets cold sometimes, kind of has to wear clothes. I don’t think any points are actually being made here.

[creepyjirachi]

guess what it’s time for ANOTHER TEA PARTY BITCH!!!!!!!

[gale--dekarios]

kind of need him

[trans-leek-cookie]

The funniest people ever are autistics who generally aren't super humorous and take stuff fairly literally/at face value, and then when you say something just kinda Wrong they respond completely casually

[pepperb0n3z]

B-b-b-b-bomb salmon bowl!

Asparagus, sweet potato, avocado, cucumbers w yum-yum, rice, sesame salmon.

[mrsmarymorstan]

Shout out to that time at HobbitCon I walked passed Melkor and Sauron Cosplayers sticking their tongues down each others throats. Monarch Shit.

Just found gay silmarillion smut by accident and I'm not surprised that it exists because of course it does. But I'm fascinated by who is reading the silmarillion and getting really into shipping them. Like, least sexy book I know probably. ESPECIALLY because it's about the Maiiar, which is the driest part of that book and what prevented me from reading it the first two times I tried. I want to interview this person.

[sonoyin]

Salmon Nigiri 🍥

[jaynethejackalope]

My husband really loves me and I think that's cool

[scandisim]

Default Replacement Underwear

Not a fan of Sexy Salmon Pink™ or the Bulge-Be-Gone's of the default game? Me neither. That's why I created this set of default replacement underwear for your sims. It's minimalistic, comes in black and white, and of course, is base-game compatible.

You can only have one set of default replacement underwear in your game at any given time. They will conflict with each other. Choose either white or black!

Should be compatible with WW, let me know if you run in to any issues. You might need the CAS underwear unlock file.

Will conflict to some degree with mods like Hiroki’s Better Bodies.

In early access until 27/04/2024. GET IT HERE

[gale--dekarios]

thinking about the sexy breakfast sandwich i had this morning

[4unnyr0se]

❥ kuroo as your boss

warnings: post-timeskip! kuroo, fem! reader, office sex, blatent favoritism, kuroo coddles reader, cunnilingus, blowjob, desk sex, unprotected sex, not proofread

MDNI | 18+ content

word count -> 694

Tetsuro Kuroo, the best damn boss anyone could ask for. Gave anyone the day off when needed, even if they were out of paid sick days. His office morale was the highest ever recorded in the Sports Promotions division, and he was damn proud of it. 

Tetsuro Kuroo, who originally hired you because you looked really good in a pencil skirt. And because he needed a female employee for diversity’s sake. Either way, he had no idea of your skills or how you would manage in a sports office setting.

Tetsuro Kuroo, who was shocked to hear that you actually went to Nekoma and were in the same class as Kenma. Who called himself stupid for not recognizing a pretty girl when he was in high school, who called Kenma after he was done for the day to scream at him for not introducing him to such a fine piece of ass. 

Tetsuro Kuroo, who had you do the work you wanted to do and never gave you assignments or paperwork you didn’t feel like you could handle. Was he coddling you? Sort of, but how could he not? You were just too pretty to be stressed. As long as you were his employee, you wouldn’t experience work-related stress. Not under his watch. 

Tetsuro Kuroo, who always bought you lunch from wherever you wanted. You wanted sushi? Premium salmon rolls got delivered in 30 minutes. Wagyu? Consider it done. Convenience store ramen? He bought 10 cases for you to take home and eat at your leisure. 

Tetsuro Kuroo, who confirmed the rumors that you were his favorite employee. What were they gonna do about it, hm? He wasn’t disenfranchising them by spoiling you; being jealous isn’t a cause to get you fired. He was a smug bastard and gave no shits. 

Tetsuro Kuroo, who was eating lunch with you in his office one day. Who observed how your tiny pencil skirt rode up your thighs perfectly, how your stockings made you look so fucking sexy. He observed how you blushed when he looked at you, the cutest giggle leaving your lips. 

Tetsuro Kuroo, who thanked the universe that his office had two-way blackout curtains and soundproofing. He would bend you over the desk and rip a hole in your stockings, purring at the sight of your soaked lace panties. Did you wear those just for him? Adorable.

Tetsuro Kuroo, who made you sit in his office chair as he ate your pussy like he was on death row. Who relished in your desperate and wanton cries of ecstasy, another orgasm rippling through you. Who demanded you finish on his tongue over and over again, that was all he wanted to eat. 

Tetsuro Kuroo, who sighed as he got under-the-desk support while on a phone call with a very important sports vendor. He would grip the mahogany of his desk as he felt your tongue trace on his cock’s throbbing vein, prematurely cumming all over his face. Who, when asked what was wrong, said he just stubbed his toe. 

Tetsuro Kuroo, who fucked you like a machine each afternoon. Who gripped onto your hips with such strength that it left imprints on your hips as he fucked you harder and harder. Who demanded you scream as much as you needed, no one would hear. And even if they did hear, no one would stop him. He was their fucking boss. 

Tetsuro Kuroo, who never used a condom because you’re on the pill. Who moaned at the sight of his seed leaking out of your weeping core as you struggled to fix your now wrinkled pencil skirt, shooting him a dirty look the entire time. Who promised he would go easier on you tomorrow, but he never did.

Tetsuro Kuroo, who was actually kind of glad that he met you when you were both adults. If he had met you in high school, he never would have fucking graduated or kept Nekoma a powerhouse school. He would have been too distracted flirting with you the entire time. 

Tetsuro Kuroo, who went to bed every night satisfied with his decision to hire someone as gorgeous as you.

[third-king-of-salmonids]

HES ONLY WILD AFTER THREE DRINKS AT THE OFFICE PARTY ACCTUALLY

I dont know why i even need to say this, STOP TRYING TO IMPREGNATE HORRORBOROS!! IT IS A WILD ANIMAL I WILL EAT YOU

[relax-and-read-on]

I have not made made a generic hc post about the primarch in a LONG time. I miss it, and it's good for the warhammer tumblr ecosystem. So, without further waiting....

Primarch, and the absolutely shitty gifts they give each others for a White Elephants gift exchange

Roboute: A classic coffee mug (primarch sized!) Filled with sweets and a indestructible fancy fountain pen. The mug say "World Most Okay Dad" on it, and he joke that it apply to them all.

Lion: a stuffed bird. The number of eyes on it is vaguely unnerving. It's unclear wich way is the head suppose to go, and all agree that it's probably an awful mutant bird. Lion is too proud to admit that it's just a really shotty taxidermy he made himself.

Alpharius Omegon: They give a series of mysterious CD in blank case, wich is a very rare and hard to read format on most ship! It's the entire series of MLP:FiM, famous lost media in the 30th millenium.

Rogal: A thick, sturdy, and perfectly elegant multi bit screwdriver, with extra standard bits put in the handle. Give a proud presentation on it, explaining it's superior design and all it's ergonomic features. It's 45 min long.

Perturabo: it's a coupon that say "one (1) construction from me and my legion, free of complaining. Valid until the 31th millenium." It's the most popular gift of the night.

Corvus: slipper and kigurumi, all crow themed. They are *adorable*. Sadly, the size is a bit tight and vaguely indecent on the more muscular primarch.

Lorgar: a traditional colchian tea set, with hand dried craft teas! The set is beautiful, and the teas prove to be only mildly hallucinogenic.

Konrad: A very, VERY pretty embroidered set of throw pillow! They have delicate pattern of flower and nature imagery... And are made with human hair. Konrad is very proud of himself, and even more of the absolute bloody screaming his gift create when he explain it.

Sanguinius: put out by Konrad's gift, but he also made a pillow, but this one filled with his own feathers. Has surprising property against nightmare.

Vulkan: He was actually sweet, and brought homemade hot sauce, his mother's recipe! The problem is that the stuff is so strong, it's considered a dangerous chemical in most of the galaxy. Can be used as jet fuel.

Horus: Edible sexy underwear. Insist that whoever gets it has to wear it, and jokingly say that, if they are too shy, he can do a demonstration himself.

Mortarion: a succulent growing kit. Even his most dumbasses of brother should be able to keep a succulent alive, right? Doesn't mention that it's an highly invasive species that will colonise the entire ship of his poor victime.

Jaghatai: a foal. Yes, he carry a whole ass live animal to the gift exchange, and keep insisting that it's an appropriate gift. The horse is chewing on Magnus' hair.

Leman: Mad that he didn't think of bringing a puppy, but he has the most amazing looking collection of smoked salmon, caviar and preserved fish to offer.

Magnus: his patience is wearing thin, but he still offer a perfectly beautiful robe, that act as an honest to good mood ring and change color depending on the person's aura.

Fulgrim: A painting of himself! Wich is actually a joke, it's just a thin and hand painted decorative paper covering the true gift: a painting of all their family, together. Get called a try hard.

Ferrus: a collection of very pretty crystals and fossils! Wich he arranged in a chocolate box, and explain that those are his favorite flavors.

Angron: A punching bag that even *he* find durable. He made sure of it, by thoroughly testing it before giving it out, wich explain it's used appearance.

I know exactly who gets what..... Yall want to know in a part 2 ;)?

[junkienet]

✱ AFTER DAWN CARESSES ？ eagle master noa.

fluff ⌇ cute time with a partner undertone ⸻ ﹙ 𝒜lt ﹒ universe ﹚ established relationships. 𝒻.ᐟreader

LATE AT MIDNIGHT ◞ 09 : 27 o ' clock. ⸻ between entwined legs and arms.

underneath the canopy of bleak branches , the bubbling murkiness of the gelid grime ringlet your perspiring brow. you steep your corporeal weight on your hip—joint , stirring in the fathomless concave of the nest made of caramel—deerskin , shrubbery and withered leaf stalks. noa , master of birds , paladin of the eagle's clan , skates his elephantine thumb across the sun—peel of your cheek. the womb of his gloved palm in carved leather kneads the peach flesh , like seared bread. he whir's , gurgling beneath the thwack of accumulated drool under your tongue, the shore of your eye elongates and squash bellow the pumpkin—cushion of his fingers. you gulp the swell of saliva, cooling the structure of your larynx.

you rasp. " your hand is the same size as my cranium . " the ape crane his mandible , abstracted. his digits clatter on the beak of your head.

" cra—nee—um , hmm. " he scratches his throat, ambivalent.

you nod once , your fingernail galloping along the meadow of ochre fur that drenched the perimeter of his denuded , salmon—skinned ear. " cranium , yes. " you extol the arid tumult at the bottom of your dehydrated mouth. " you could crush it if you wanted to. " you babble in the cadence of a lonely nightingale.

the chimpanzee denies twice , muddling his snout , barbed of your human—kind ideality. he spits a smack of lips in the opposite route , undulating a drapery of your ravelled hair.

" i won't . " his shale timber of voice excavates into a nasal splutter.

you coil your head , distinguishing the crackle of the nest's teeny twigs. " but you could. "

" i won't . "

you broom the juncture of his scruff , blanding the pulsating pitter—patter of the crown of your skull as you perceive a scintilla of his viridian—green orbs , of wheat fields and groves , sumptuous. " i believe you . "

he sprain his upper—spine , the peak of his paw toes stroking the crook contour of his left kneecap . he panted a grunt , an abysmal clamor that hike's aerially , exultant .

" you have long nails . . . you could take my eyes out , " he glabber's with a sequence of drooped blinks. " if echo wanted to. "

you negate three times , slouching your forehead on his leafy , pompous bosom. " i won't. "

his herculean arm cascade parallel to an iron belt through the shoal arch of your waist , impelling you against his thorax.

" i believe you. "

SEXY JUTSU LIKE NARUTO ©JUNKIENET ╱ 2024.