#sex: hand jobs

[xieliansbignaturals]

I do think Hua Cheng would have a fully accurate radar for "Xie Lian needs or wants something." His own needs, less so. But, Xie Lian's nose is a little bit itchy? Hua Cheng reaches over to scratch it before Xie Lian himself notices that it's bothering him. (Meanwhile, Hua Cheng has been sitting in the MOST uncomfortable position for two whole hours and has no idea.) Xie Lian will be getting three square meals every day RIGHT on time if Hua Cheng is within a hundred miles of him.

[mythalism]

my only complaint abt the solavellan ending is the kiss looks like a kdrama kiss. someone here will know exactly what i mean by that

[gorespawn]

also while we're here i would like to share the two iterations of tumblr user gorespawn that have existed since i abandoned this blog back in like early 2021. Who wants me

[citrine-elephant]

tried to look up the origin of the 'metaltango' ship name (with no answers) and ended up down a rabbithole explaining how much homoerotic subtext is in this game series. wesker and krauser both acting like toxic ex boyfriends and weirdly obsessed with their nemesis... es? plural.

there is no such thing as a coincidence on how much leon is thirsted after by everyone, how chris is definitely into men, etc etc.

... also in love with that photo krauser has, which did get spoiled to me lol. pain.

[gen-is-gone]

Ye gods, the continued existence of billford antis in 2024 is so genuinely funny that I can't even be annoyed at them. Like, tri-sexuality won, babes. RIP to y'all tho, must be sad to hate fun so much.

[termagax]

re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.

[slytherholicficrecs]

Title: Overly Thoughtful Gryffindor Gifts

Author: countingcr0ws

Rating: Mature

Length: 21,200

Summary: Returning to Hogwarts for eighth year is great, but it could definitely be better. Nobody wants to listen to him talk about Malfoy, and Harry wishes that he could talk to Malfoy. Cue a gift exchange, alcohol fuelled parties and a looming deadline. Will our heroes ever get together?

[dkettchen]

Not me not being able to tell apart Cloud from the girls while they're all in Shinra uniforms other than by the slight height difference and voice

[anonymusbosch]

replacing "kink at pride" discourse with "kink at the bougie-ass smoothie shop hawking acai smoothies for like $14 and hanging up a poster for Pride as if that's anything." if a place has pride posters up then you should get AT LEAST a 10% discount for wearing one of those puppy masks or having freaky transgender sex in the store

[wincestdailyheadcanons]

Wincest Retrospect Headcanon 1x4 Sam gave Dean a 'are you serious' look. Dean had been injured in a dozen ways, fought countless monsters, and of all things that made him afraid, it just had to be flying. 

"Dean, we can do this together, or I can go by myself, I'm not seeing a third option here."

Dean looked around as if hoping a third option would fall out of the sky; "Come on!" he groaned. "Really?...Man."

Five minutes later an announcement came over the speaker, the flight would be delayed for an hour. Sam sighed in relief, hoping that would give Dean time to calm down, or time to get a few drinks in him.

Of course, it was wishful thinking that Sam's luck would change now.

Dean was fidgeting in his chair, fingers tapping against the arm rest. Sam squeezed his knee; "Calm. Down." Sam said, voice firm, just above a whisper.

"You calm down!" Dean snapped back, blushing when a security guard looked up from behind the desk. Dean blushed.

"Okay, come on." Sam pulled Dean up, grabbing their bags.

"Where are we~"

"Just shut up. Come on."

Dean nodded, following Sam through the airport and into the bathroom. "What are you doing?"

Sam practically shoved Dean into the larger stall, dropped the bags on the ground, and locked the door before stepping forward, pressing against his brother, one hand covering his mouth, the other pushing down into Dean's jeans and grabbing his cock, pumping quickly.  Dean groaned, moving in time with Sam, his own hands grabbing Sam's arm, keeping him in place. Dean gave a soft, needy, muffled whine. Sam met his eyes and nodded.

A few minutes later, Sam dried his hands off, and turned back to Dean; "Feel better now?"

"Yeah, I'm completely cured of my fear of flying." Dean said sarcastically.

Sam rolled his eyes; "I've given you handjobs for less." He grabbed the bags. "Are you coming or staying?"

"You know damn well I'm coming too."

[g-o-d-l-e-s-s-h-e-a-t-h-e-n]

So I did a sexual thing with a partner for the first time yeasterday morning, and why in the hell did the church tell us this was an evil sinful thing?

It was good, it felt pure and natural, it was the easiest thing I've ever done, like I was put on this earth for doing that. I just don't get how this can be wrong.

And yeah, the answer to why christianity says it's evil is simple, it's just another means of control, but god damn I'm angry about it. Why did sex have to be taught as this sinful shameful thing in any other context than the confines of marrige? Why was the beauty of it never taught?

This was pure, natural, holy even.

What other beautiful things are they keeping behind the barrier of sin?

[2af-afterdark]

Understanding Love Expressed Under the Moonlight

Fandom: Noctilucent: Before Dawn  Content: Anli x Yve, teratophilia, oral sex, hand job, giving Yve the monster dick he deserves Summary: Yve accidentally saw a couple doing something obscene by the lake and now he's curious how such a thing could work. Anli helps him understand. A/N: Yve isn't technically out yet, so I had to base my writing of him off his SSR card. My deepest apologies if I end up getting him completely wrong. I just wanted that fish to get some love… and for him to have a real monster dick. Word Count: 1191

Yve saw it a few nights ago. When the moon was half full and the fireflies danced through the grass in erratic patterns, he had seen two humans venture down to the lake. It wasn't unusual for humans to find themselves at the water's edge, but it was rare for them to do so late at night. Those that came under the cover of night were usually fishermen that tried to catch the fish that only stirred at night, but it was clear these two were not here to fish.

They had laid out a long blanket to sit upon and covered it with food that they fed to one another. They filled their cups to the brim with red liquid and swallowed it feverishly. And, once they had emptied their plates and left their cups dry, they embraced one another and tumbled onto the ground.

Yve saw it all from the water.

“Do people often lick one another?” He asked Anli, who was his most consistent friend outside of the fish who lived alongside him.

Anli couldn't say.

“I've never personally licked someone, but maybe it's different for other people. Grandma did sometimes lick her thumb to wipe food off my cheeks when I made a mess. Does that count?”

Yve shook his head. “Not like that.”

He leaned back against the bank so he could anchor his body comfortably in place. His long hair fanned out behind him, partly on land and partly twisting in the gentle current. He spread out his tail so he was lying almost flat along the surface of the water.

A faint blush spread across his cheeks and his tail splashed nervously against the water as he reached a single hand down his body. His fingers brushed along his sides, slowly inching closer to his front but never explicitly touching himself. 

“This place,” Yve said. “Do people lick it?”

Just as he had seen that couple by the water do a few nights ago. He had never considered such a thing before, but the couple he had seen had done it so readily and willingly and they seemed to enjoy it greatly. 

“Oh,” Anli muttered in quiet understanding. “Some people do, I think.”

Again, Anli hadn't. Not in the way Yve was implying anyway. He had licked another man's penis, but Yve was the only man he knew with such unique anatomy.

“Well,” Yve's eyes darted away nervously, “can we try?”

Anli couldn't help but think about how cute Yve looked when he made his request. He was ethereal in a way that seemed unapproachable – mystical even – but his desires were as mortal as anyone else’s.

Yve didn't have to ask for anything further before Anli was stripping down to his underwear and jumping into the water alongside Yve. 

“Anli!” Yve called out in shock for how suddenly his friend had moved, scaring away what few fish remained near them.

“Sorry.” 

He ran his hands up Yve's hips, careful not to brush too roughly against his cerulean scales that were going in the opposite direction. Once his hands reached the point where Yve's scales turned into skin he rubbed small circles into his hips.

Yve's expression as he looked down at Anli could be simultaneously described as eager and flustered.

Anli laid his head in Yve's lap and, with an uncertain smile, asked, “Can I?”

“Lick me,” Yve said through a shaky voice.

Anli couldn't refuse.

As he said before, Anli had never licked someone in this way before. Even so, he wanted to do it for Yve because he asked. So, knowledgeable or not, he would do his best to meet Yve's expectations.

Yve never once took his eyes off Anli, watching him carefully as heat rose from his core and spread throughout his cool body at the promise that he would soon understand what that couple had done the other night.

He rubbed his thumb along Yve's slit and gently pried it open. Yve's insides were a charming pink color that stood out compared to the shimmering blue of his scales. Anli couldn't stop himself from getting a taste.

It was wet, dripping something thick onto Anli’s tongue and filling his mouth with a mildly salty taste; not overly so, but enough to be noticeable. That taste also carried with it a musk that wafted up to his nostrils as he ran his tongue across Yve's inner pink walls.

“Anli,” Yve's trembling voice cried, “go deeper.”

He did as told, burying his tongue even deeper into Yve's warmth until he was sure he was licking the deepest parts of him. His nose bumped up against something hard and he realized that the tip of Yve's dick was starting to peek out from the sheath that usually kept it hidden.

“I'm sorry,” he apologized, not because he was ashamed but because he had yet another request. “Can you touch me?”

Again, Anli couldn't refuse.

Yve wasn't fully out of his sheath yet, but Anli could see enough of it to know it would fit comfortably in his hand. The tendrils that twisted thrice around themselves like a knotted rope, fatter at the pale blue base than the royal purple tip, and soft and slightly pliant to the touch was something Anli had never seen anyone else possess before he met Yve but Yve was also the only merman he could claim to know.

With his tongue still buried inside of Yve, Anli wrapped his hand around the length of Yve's dick that was exposed and began to stroke him. His hand naturally twisted to follow the one in his length, but it was not smooth as he lost himself focusing on all of the dips and ridges across his shaft. He wanted to memorize each one, learning the shape of Yve's dick in full. And, when Yve was more exposed, Anli prodded at the space between each of the twists, trying to feel between each tendril and stroke their undersides.

Anli could feel Yve's tail trying to thrash in the water, fluttering aggressively and bumping against his cock that had gotten hard from eating out Yve. But he wasn't focused on himself; he was only concerned with satisfying Yve.

“Wait!” Yve cried, but it was already too late.

His hips rose up, pushing himself against Anli’s mouth. His hole flooded over with the same juices that Anli had tasted from the beginning and his dick erupted with a thick white liquid that sputtered out in globs and fell onto Anli’s face. He had to close one of his eyes to keep the liquid from blinding him.

“I'm so sorry!” Yves said in a panic, pushing himself from the back and reaching for Anli to help brush his cum out of his friend's face.

Anli didn’t mind though.

He let Yve clean the cum off of him before asking, “Did you enjoy it?”

Just because Anli managed to make Yve cum didn't mean he liked it, especially since he was as inexperienced as Anli had recently been.

But Yve's flushed face and shy smile were adorable as he answered Anli with a, “Very much.”

[lesbiangiratina]

^ this is sex

[gayemoji]

for how bad killing eve got the books are infinitely worse.

[meat-wentz]

I have a semi work crush and it’s so fucked up like Jesus Christ I’m an adult why is this happening also it’s their fault not mine . Like flirting with my lonely ass wouldn’t do anything to me-_-

honestly how dare they!!!!! believe me i know the feeling and i’ve never been more humiliated than when i was forced to have fluttery feelings about a CO-WORKER, like are you kidding me!! i WORK here!!!! what’s your problem!!!!!!!!!