#sex repulsed evan

[the-ace-with-spades]

Unhinged fic idea incoming...

An AU where Buck is the one looking for a sperm donor.

Buck is trans in this AU fyi and there's trans pregnancy and related stuff involved

He's obviously in love with Eddie, had been for a long time, and for a little bit after he and Taylor broke up, he hoped.

But then nothing happens. Because nothing ever happens between them, no matter how many nights he stays over, how many dinners he cooks, how many times they go out, how many times they spend the evening like a family -- they're not. Chris is not his son, Eddie is not his partner, and there's nothing happening.

And Buck, at that point, is tired of hoping for and waiting to have his own family.

This is when Connor shows up -- Buck was stealth back when they lived together so he explains, that sorry, dude, no dick or anything like that here, so can't give you sperm.

But Connor gives him an idea.

At first he thinks it's crazy and pushes the thought back because it seems to be more of a fantasy than anything - Buck having his own child without another person involved.

But then, well, why not? There are single mothers that decide to keep a baby from accidental pregnancies all over the world and Eddie is a single dad himself -- if he can do it, why couldn't Buck? He's got a stable job, financially he's okay, he hasn't had any health issues in a while, he wants to be a dad more than anything, and he wants a family more than anything, even if just a small one.

So he sets a plan in motion, talks to his doctor, goes off both HRT and birth control and starts looking for someone willing to donate sperm to him or sleep with him.

He's got a few candidates lined up - past friends, mostly, because he wants someone he knows and can trust with such a delicate process, someone who won't take advantage of the situation - and when his period finally comes back after two months off testosterone, he starts calling up.

He's got one guy he used to date in the fire academy who has agreed to try and get him pregnant. They meet up, they talk about what they're more comfortable with - Buck was going to go with the good old cup and syringe method insemination, but Gabe says they could have some fun while at it.

It's going alright - they meet up for sex two-three times a week, there's absolutely zero feeling to it, and after two months of trying, nothing happens.

And then the crew finds out.

There's lots of opinions and questions why ('I'm tired of waiting to have my own family') and why couldn't he just wait until he finds someone ('I want a baby, not a partner, and I'm not getting younger and the timing is right'). Eventually, he explains everything and tells them the plan and all the preparations he's done -- medical, financial, housing, etc. and everyone realizes this isn't something he's doing on a whim and agrees to support him.

Everyone except Eddie.

Who seems to be incredibly offended that Buck 1) didn't tell him about the plan, 2) didn't ask him to be the baby daddy donor and instead asked some other random guy.

Buck, because he's oblivious, thinks Eddie's weird behaviour is only due to the first reason and gets defensive that he doesn't have to tell Eddie about all his life choices any time Eddie brings up the topic.

Cue month three of trying to get pregnant and Buck tells Gabe hey, I actually would prefer to switch to the cup and syringe method. And the dude blows up about how he's only doing it for the sex and he's infertile anyway so whatever Buckley.

Obviously, that's upsetting because he's just wasted three months but also because he trusted Gabe and it turned out like this - so how is he supposed to trust any other guys on the candidate list?

Everyone on the team is sympathetic - Athena offers to get that guy for extraction of sex under false pretense - but Buck just kinda feels like giving up. Hen mentions he can just use a clinic's donor, doesn't have to be doing IVF for that, just get a donor catalog and go for the specimen to the clinic or have it delivered to his house and do the syringe method anyway. It's going to cost some money but still cheaper than IVF.

Eddie still hates the idea.

And Buck gets one catalog and brings it to the station so he can talk to Hen about it (since she and Karen had gone through the process before) and Eddie is really snarky the whole day about it, with little comments here or there.

At some point, Buck just can't take it and tells him, 'If you think I'll make such a bad parent why don't you just tell me to my face, loud and clear.'

Obviously, Eddie tones down immediately. Explains that hey, this isn't what I meant, I just don't like the idea of you having a kid with a stranger you know nothing about.

They have a whole discussion when Buck confesses he doesn't like it either but he's desperate and please don't make me question it even more, I just want a baby at whatever cost.

So Eddie takes the opportunity and says, 'I'll be your sperm donor.'

Buck knows it's a bad idea but it's also the best he can get from Eddie - maybe he won't love him and maybe they won't be a family in a little unit of four, but he'll have a baby that's a little bit like him.

Because he has the rest of his self-preservation and doesn't want his heart to break any more, he insists on doing it with the cup and syringe method.

Which backfires spectacularly since he's literally sitting outside Eddie's bedroom while he comes into a cup and when it's his turn to lie down on the same bed and do the insemination, Eddie is like, I could help you with that, probably easier if someone else does it for you. What was supposed to be a simple procedure of draw the sperm into a syringe, inject the syringe's contents up your vagina has just changed into something very intimate.

They try for three months like that and once again, Buck is starting to think there's something wrong with him because he's not getting pregnant. And like, he cries about that a little bit even though he knows it takes six months on average to get pregnant and Eddie offers, you guessed it, let's try it the standard way because maybe that will help (knowing fully well it only busts the chances of getting pregnant by like five percent tops). Buck is desperate, so things happen.

They start having sex.

And Eddie gets, like, really obsessed with it too, just so Buck finally gets pregnant and stops feeling like it's his fault it's not happening faster. He is also tracking Buck's cycles, too, now, and plans for them to have sex on all his predicted fertile days. When one of those days falls when they're on duty, they have sex in the back of the (parked inside the station) truck.

The universe apparently thinks it's funny because that's the lucky time...

Buck is pregnant and so happy he doesn't realize Eddie is mentally freaking out because 1) that means they'll stop having sex and more importantly 2) Buck is having his baby and he's expected to let him parent them alone and never say a thing, just observe from the sidelines as a friend (which ironically is how Buck's felt about Eddie and Chris...)

It quickly proves to be impossible - Buck's got his first ultrasound scheduled and Eddie is like, 'I'm going with you' because he can't imagine not being there for Buck in such an important moment and not seeing the baby for the first time with him.

Which sets off an argument because Eddie was supposed to be a donor not dad and Eddie finally loses his cool and yells, 'I can't.'

Buck is definitely not getting it and is upset because Eddie still doesn't love him but he's already gotten attached to the baby that was meant to be his only in DNA. It's irrational but he feels like Eddie's going to take even this from him, the baby that was supposed to be the small part of Eddie and his dream family he could have.

And Eddie feels guilty because he promised he'll just be a donor but it turns out he can't, he feels like he tricked Buck into this situation. He can't quite literally make this worse so why not just come clean, right? Tell Buck he's sorry and he's in love with him and he really did offer to be a donor thinking he could be just a donor but he can't let go.

Obviously they get together before the first ultrasound.

The only problem now is no one at the station knows that Eddie is the baby daddy, and not some anonymous donor from a catalog.

Chaos ensures

[reddie-truther]

people will never understand regulus black the way i understand regulus black.

he hates flashing lights bc they make him feel like he’s having a seizure.

he hates loud noises but still has music up as loud as it goes.

he hates PDA but the second he’s alone with barty or evan or pandora or james he’ll make sure he’s as close to them as possible

his gay awakening was remus lupin and he cried bc he thought sirius would kill him (sirius never found out)

he spent his entire life being pushed away so his immediate instinct in the lake was to grab onto one of the hands because finally someone was pulling him in

he’s not an idiot. he knew what he was doing. he climbed into that lake willingly. he left his shoes and tie in his dorm because they could be used for someone else.

he loved pink and dresses/lace/ribbons but knew that he couldn’t because nobody would see him as a real boy.

barty and evan stole bandages from the medical wing so he could bind.

he spent A LOT of time sat on his bedroom floor in dark silence

he cried at films that weren’t sad.

he wouldn’t talk to anyone he didn’t know properly or didn’t trust so at family events he’d have to whisper to sirius or his cousins and they’d talk for him (for a week after his first argument with walburga sirius had to talk to her for him)

he didn’t want to die he just wanted a different life.

he tried everything to keep his family together

(modern) he never blocks people, he didn’t block sirius or james or evan or anyone just in case they ever needed help so he could be there.

he used to find cool rocks to give to sirius and when james took him to the beach he gave him all the best shells

when he jumped in that lake he imagined being pushed because it made it easier

the last thing he thought about was his socks getting wet

he wanted someone to find him he didn’t want to be alone in death, he didn’t want to be a mystery

he was sex repulsed.

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

can u pls tell the people your most traumatising sirius ships

i was going through a mental list of all the traumatizing sirius ships and that's just all of them i fear, so here's a handful of my current favs <3

sirius x walburga - she fucked him over. then, she fucked him ! she's possessive and overbearing and controlling, won't let him talk to any girls because it makes her sickk. she'll say it's because they aren't good enough for him and then go on to describe herself when talking about his wife. #1 most toxic, traumatizing relationship ever haunted him till the day he died.

sirius x james - codependent homoerotic best friendships have the most insane jealousy problems ever and james potter is NOT used to sharing, tails behind sirius 24/7 and he's sirius' entire concept of love soo. yeah. also i read pioneers and oh my god. also it just ruined his life like imagine getting dick SO GOOD you break out of prison and die for it.

(war time) sirius x peter - peter is playing this man like a fiddleee omg. ex situationship ended in marriage (hint: not with him), ex boyfriend is a nazi (according to him) and everyone he loves is dying PLUS he's being manipulated by the guy he settled for ??? peter is just 24/7 implying that sirius is Bad and sirius is like ykw yeah i suck and should prbly die

sirius x barty jr - is it even a traumatizing sirius ship post without a grimkiller mention? no, no it isn't. barty is everything and nothing to sirius he is good and bad and everything in between. barty's pathetic and weird and disgusting and sirius is like eww... wait hot. barty brings up his worst fears and humiliates him and hurts him and withholds food and information from him and makes him get off on it and sirius thinks I Deserve This.

sirius x barty SR - no because it's perfect. bcsr is kinder than walburga and orion but not so nice that sirius feels (completely) undeserving of it. he's constantly favoured over bcjr and praised and valued and loved and it's amazing for bcsr because he can literally make sirius do anything he wants in a moment. + sirius is being so used to favoured over bcjr (because he's competing as a son) that when bcsr goes to his wife instead of him (because he's now a competing with her too) sirius is tearing his hair out screaming crying throwing up

sirius x frank gallagher - this is a stand in for all the shitty guys sirius dated in and after hogwarts that were older, drunker, meaner than orion and with that also had very demeaning, d/s kinks with no aftercare, had a wife and kids sirius' age, talked about how much he'd like to screw other women in front of sirius, constantly criticized him. no one knows why sirius is dating him when all of his hot rich nice friends who would kill themselves for him are all pining over him.

sirius x minerva - completely totally one sided however it does take over his life for most of his time at hogwarts and he's going insane trying to get her approval and he's not even sure if it's just his mommy issues or a crush or what. doesn't study for anything but he'll stay up days to ace transfiguration so his hot older teacher will maybe smile at him and tell him he did a good job

sirius x regulus - guilt guilt guilt he 100% believes he's the one who brought regulus down with his lust and sin (it was all regulus' plan but shh he needed dick) and the self hatred and shame and sex repulsion and guilt and "im not just like them i'm worse"-ness is 📈📈

honorable mentions: sirius x pandora, sirius x evan, sirius x evan x barty, sirius x marlene, sirius x james x bellatrix

[xotyx]

I love sex repulsed Evan as much as the next person, but genuinely I do not think Barty would be able to do it. He’s jerking off like he had a problem (he does) and calling Reg every half an hour saying Evan is the hottest person he’s ever seen (he’s sitting creepily still with those fucking bug eyes watching animal dissections) and how is he supposed to deal with the fact they’ll never fuck? He needs Evan inside him! It’s life or death, he’s sure of it!

[michael-the-candybar]

i’m bored so here’s my sexuality hc’s for marauders characters (feel free to add your own in the comments!)

James: this man is pan to me, like he does not care about who he gets with as long as he’s with someone.

Sirius: to me he’s either bi or he doesn’t care enough to put a label on himself.

Remus: my mind switched between gay and bi all the time and honestly, either works it just makes sense.

Peter: he is aro/ace to me, and that’s not just because like “oh he’s plus-sized so he can’t be with anyone” i love peter very much and thats just how i see it 😭 but i do love him with sybill weither is romantic or qpr.

Mary: very much like sirius i think that she wouldn’t label herself but she knows she likes anyon.

Lily: she is very bi to me, the vibes are just there yk? and yes idc if it’s unrealistic that their all queer, their wizards for crying out loud.

Marlene: that is a LESBIAN if ive ever seen one. i just known she wouldve dated a guy in like 3rd year and absolutely wouldve HATED it.

Regulus: that is a gay man, no denying it. ofc he would have a hard time coming to terms with but he’ll get there eventually.

Barty: he’s bi and aro-spect. one of my favourite hc’s because alot of people will have him hooking up with half of hogwarts and then for him to not stay with any of them just makes sm sense to me. for me he didn’t really know what love was like until Evan.

Evan: gay and ace. he switches alot for me because he’s either sex repulsed or a complete freak. but i think his situation is very similar to barty’s just with being asexual and i think he would be willing to try things with barty and only barty.

Dorcas: she’s lesbian to me, i physically can not see her with a man.

Pandora: pan and aro-spect. i love the aro and ace twin hc’s and i will never let go of that. i dont know exactly where she stands on the arospect but she’s there and ofc she doesn’t care what people are, it’s pandora for crying out loud.

[starman-waitinginthesky81]

right hear me out:

qpr rosekiller where Barty is Aromantic and Evan is Asexual/ Aroace

Evan was completely sex repulsed until Barty (he still has limits and reservations but Barty makes him feel so whole that it works) and they both give each other the love they deserve without it being inherently romantic, they are completely devoted to one another and a little bit batshit but it’s beautiful

[newobsessionweekly]

HIII This is my first time asking

Can you write one shot with Buck? By that I Mean where's reader is pregnant, like how they started thinking about child, them telling 118 and Maddie, thinking about name(girl) and first kicking, time when he is touching her bump and when she is finally here I'm sorry if its to much. And sorry for all the mistake english isn't my first language

I've been thinking

Main masterlist | 9-1-1 masterlist

Dreams series

Part 1 | Part 2

Evan “Buck” Buckley x fem!reader

Fandom:911

Summary: You and Buck consider starting a family together.

Fluff

A/n: Thank you for the request, bub! It’s gonna be a series of all the stages, I hope you’re gonna like it! Also, sorry! It took a bit longer than I expected, working is really sucking every bit of energy out of my body!

Requested: yes

Words: 1.4k

Requests are open for Buck / Eddie!

Gif not mine, credits to the owner!

As you walk into Bobby and Athena's house, the laughter and chatter fill the air. It's a lively party, with children running around and adults catching up with one another. Buck takes your hand, leading you through the crowd, as you greet familiar faces and exchange warm smiles.

You settle down outside, letting the sun kiss your face, enjoying the summer day as Maddie and Chimney made their way, sending hugs here and there. Maddie's eyes are sparkling with excitement, and she can barely contain her joy. Buck kissed the top of your head, joining Bobby and Eddie as the girls gathered around you.

“Someone’s in a good mood.” you teased Maddie, as her cheeks turned red. “Where’s my favourite niece?”

“Oh, she’s over there with Howie.” Maddie pointed to where the boys were standing, making a circle around Jee-Yun as she ran between their legs, handing herself onto Buck’s.

You heard congratulation words coming from the boys, some patting Chim on his shoulder, some giving him hugs. Buck just stood there with a funny repulsion written over his face and everyone laughed at his words, making you frown even more.

“So girl, you’re gonna tell us why you’re so cheerful about or we should share our guesses?” Athena’s gaze shifted from Maddie to where the boys were, lightly chuckling when your boyfriend made his way to you.

“Well, me and Howie—“

“It’s so disgusting hearing people telling around they’re trying for a baby. Like yeah, congratulations, you’re having sex, but just don’t make a big deal out of it!” Buck was babbling around, interrupting his sister, and you just couldn’t hold your laugh at him scrunching his face in dislike.

“What’s the matter with you?” you caressed his hand when he landed on your chair handle.

“It’s annoying hearing Chimney talk about trying for another baby. I don’t want to picture my sister and Chimney having sex! Now I can’t get that image out of my mind!” Buck’s words made the girls laugh and after the realisation hit, all of you gave Maddie questioning looks.

“Yeah, thank you Evan for making the announcement!” Mads frowned at Buck, innocence playing on his eyes as he raised his arms in defence. “Me and Howie are trying for baby number two!” she announces, her voice filled with excitement.

The back yard erupts with laughter and cheers, and you find yourself clapping and smiling along with everyone else. But as the cheers die down, a thought creeps into your mind, and you glance over at Buck, who seems lost in his own thoughts.

Maddie notices your quiet demeanor and turns to you and Buck, her eyes filled with curiosity. "What about you two?" she asks, her voice filled with interest. "Waiting for baby Buckley to play around here some day."

Buck's gaze shifts from Maddie to you, and you catch a flicker of longing in his eyes. It's a question that has been hovering unspoken between the two of you for a while. Your heart skips at the thought of having Buck’s child.

You take a deep breath, suddenly feeling vulnerable yet hopeful. "Maybe some day." you say softly, intertwining your fingers with Buck's.

As the conversation continues around you, your mind starts to race with possibilities. You think about the future, about the joy and challenges that come with parenthood. The thought of sharing that journey with Buck fills you with a sense of love and anticipation.

Buck's attention turned to Christopher, who was playing around with Danny, his contagious laughter filling the air. A mischievous grin formed on Buck's face, and he couldn't resist joining in on the fun. They played tag, engaged in an imaginary battle against imaginary villains, and Buck even gave Christopher a piggyback ride, both of them bursting into fits of giggles.

While watching Buck and Christopher, Eddie joins you on the couch, with a warm smile playing on his face. He leaned in slightly, his voice softening. "You know, you and Buck would make incredible parents," Eddie remarked, his words laced with sincerity. "I've seen how you both care for Christopher and the rest of the team. You have so much love to give."

His words touch your soul, and you nod gratefully. "Thank you, Eddie. It means a lot to hear that from you."

“What are best friends for?” he noticed your lost expression, embracing you with warmth and a kind of love only Eddie was able to bring into your life. It was a big brother’s love, one saying he cares about you a lot and his heart aches whenever your smile is missing from your beautiful face.

His words resonated with you, reinforcing the thoughts that had been swirling in your mind since the conversation had begun. The idea of starting a family with Buck had always been a distant notion, but now it felt tangible, within reach. The mere thought of sharing such a profound connection with him filled you with excitement and warmth.

As the day drew to a close and the sun dipped below the horizon, you found yourself nestled in Buck's embrace, watching the stars emerge one by one. The gentle breeze carried with it a sense of serenity, and it seemed as if the universe was aligning to grant your unspoken desires.

Buck’s apartment is filled with a warm and inviting atmosphere that always seems to surround him; a mix of modern furniture and personal touches, reflecting Buck's adventurous spirit. The walls are adorned with photographs capturing his countless adventures and the sweetest memories the two of you share.

As you settle on the cozy couch, a sense of comfort washes over you, amplified by Buck's presence. You were tired, all you wanted to do was to lay in his arms, the calming movement of his chest raising and slowly making its way down with every breath drifting you off to sleep. But something feels different in the air and your tiredness is not it.

Buck glances at you with a mischievous smile, his hazel eyes sparkling with a hint of excitement. You notice his playful demeanor, sensing there's something he's been pondering.

"You know," Buck begins, his voice gentle yet filled with anticipation, "I've been thinking a lot lately."

“Oh, you thinking? That can’t be good!” you teased, trying so hard to keep the laughter from coming out of your mouth as his fingers made their way up and down your body in Buck’s attempt of tickling you.

“Now, seriously.” he cleared his throat and his blue eyes scanned your face. Tears forming in your eyes from all the laughter, a beautiful smile reached your eyes that you couldn’t keep under control and cheeks painted with the same pink as your lips. “Everyone around us have families, babies. We’re the only one left.”

His words hang in the air, leaving you momentarily speechless, but as you observe Buck's hopeful gaze, you realize he's being completely serious.

As a rush of emotions flood over you, you search within yourself to find your own truth. Thoughts of Buck as a father flicker through your mind, and you can't help but smile. He has always been compassionate, caring, and fiercely protective of those he loves. His determination to make the world a better place for others is a testament to the kind of father he could be.

Buck notices your smile and takes it as a positive sign. His enthusiasm grows, and he continues, "I know it's a big decision, and we'll have to figure out the logistics, but I can't imagine a better person to be the mother of my kids."

His words stir a sense of warmth in your heart, and you find yourself imagining a future where you and Buck navigate parenthood together, supporting each other through the ups and downs.

“I-uh… I’ve been thinking about it lately.” you confessed, playing with his hair as his head rested on your lap. “But the more I think about it, the more I realize how lucky any child would be to have you as a father."

A mix of relief and joy washes over Buck's face, his eyes gleaming with gratitude. He reaches out, gently taking your hand in his, and squeezes it softly. In that moment, you both understand that whatever path you choose, you'll face it together, as you've always done.

He suddenly stands up on his knees, dragging you down on the couch, hands framing your face. You laugh in surprise, wrapping your arms around his neck, holding into him as his lips pursued together down from you nose, to your cheek and making their way to your neck.

“We better get to work then!”

[the-neptune-system]

i want to ship Regulus and Evan and i want to call the ship rosewater. here are my thoughts so far.

Regulus and Evan looking down on people and being snooty and mean, but like... together

they have no problem holding hands or kissing in public but for some reason everyone else gets very surprised when they do

they talk about other people behind their backs together- even people they like

they exclusively study with eachother because they believe nobody else can match them (except Barty but he's too chaotic)

in my mind they are both sex repulsed asexuals and their relationship doesnt involve sex at all (hi im asexual can you tell)

also they are both trans ftm and will murder anyone who misgenders the other (...hi im trans ftm can you tell)

in general they would both murder for the other without even thinking about it

i love them ♡

[tsuki-in-faerun]

when i was fifteen, i was in my first ever relationship and it was with a lesbian who was repulsed by certain sex acts with cis men. they knew i was bisexual when we started dating. we fell in love and they asked me if i would promise them that i would never ever, in my whole life, do that sex act because it grossed them out personally. my answer was "we are fifteen. we might not be together forever. i don't wanna make that promise because i take promises seriously."

unfortunately, they couldn't get it out of their head that i wasn't serious about them because of what i said. it didn't matter that they were my first love and my first kiss. they kinda shut down after that.

you build a relationship on truth. i'm in my mid-thirties now. i get what evan was saying but also, what a fucking trip to put on yourself that value in your life comes from permanency. like, i'm a cptsd bitch too, but this is why i'm always flogging 'all about love' and 'braiding sweetgrass' and 'faggots and friends between revolutions' and other works that are concerned with love as a choice and as an action and an ecosystem rather than as a feeling. evan doesn't know what he doesn't know and what he doesn't know is how the shape of love, in any capacity, affects the shape of life.

[futurequibblerjournalist]

Hear me out

Asexual but not sex repulsed Evan. He does fucked up sex shit to Barty just because he wants to see what Barty would do, how uncomfortable he can make him. That's where he gets his pleasure, not from sucked penis

I don’t necessarily agree with the uncomfortable part, rather I think Evan is the kind of person who gets a kick out of knowing Barty’s receiving pleasure. Because just as he gives it he can also take it away

He wants to see how far he can push Barty for sure, they’re constantly testing the limits of things,, but it’s not because he wants to make Barty uncomfortable it’s because he wants him to be his fucked up little test subject where Evan is the one who decides the way things go from start to finish

He has no problem fucking Barty close to oblivion lmaoo and then pulling out to take notes leaving Barty all needy and desperate. In fact he loves doing that. He loves seeing how much of his cock that Barty can take before his eyes gets glossy and he starts tearing up and he loves pushing him just enough where he has to pull away and recollect himself all while Evan gets to hover over him, cock out and twitching as he watched Barty try and regain control over his breathing,,,,

[t1oui]

i love sex repulsed asexual evan rosier but sometimes i just need to write he and barty being freaky and horny yk

[my-own-walker]

Ever Fallen In Love (With Someone You Shouldn’t’ve?) 

note: this special request was sent to me by @the-goblin1. thank you, my dear. you have the mind of a mastermind. 

summary: evan gets the hots for his co-star during a scene

warnings: sm*t, fem!reader, p in v, evan being horny lol

+++

Evan’s POV

The success of the show was unexpected. When the second season was announced, I wasn't told anything about it. Just that I wouldn't be playing Tate again.

The new season brought many changes. Doing an anthological series came with its challenges. I would be playing an entirely different character, in a different story, set in a different place.

Kit came pretty easily to me, minus his accent. That kind of challenge is what you look for as an actor, though.

It was announced that my love interest would be played by a relatively new actress named Y/N Y/L/N. In the spirit of changing things up, Taissa wouldn't be returning this season. She wouldn't be my scene partner anymore. It was like going to school after summer break and finding out your best friend wasn't in your class.

It was a total gut punch, for sure. Until I actually met Y/N.

She and I clicked really well. We had a mutual understanding of the motives of these characters and our scenes went off without a hitch. She was quick as a whip. She knew exactly how to make me laugh. We bonded over our love of acting and our tastes in music.

She got her start only a year prior to shooting Asylum. Some Disney Channel show, she said. I nearly cackled when I found out. I sort of didn't want to relive my time as Seth in 'Phil of the Future,' but she gave me no choice. We talked about our experiences with Disney sets. She had some sort of bit part, kind of like mine. She said she played the bully in the episode.

It helped her get cast in other more serious roles. She must have really sold that bully part. A couple episodes on some medical dramas and crime shows led her to the part of Grace in American Horror Story, and I couldn't complain.

It's worth mentioning that she was absolutely stunning. Just visually a marvel. I tried not to let it affect my work, but god, was she beautiful.

It was impossible to ignore my feelings for her. It physically hurt to keep myself away. I didn't want to compromise the work we were trying to do, but man I was starving for her. Ah, the genius of pain. It was like a knife in my stomach, poking and prodding at me each time she walked into the room. A constant feeling of disquiet and adrenaline.

The tension I felt worked for the story, thankfully. I found that our scenes were more believable because of how enamored I was.

It was like I had a schoolyard crush. I found myself frightened by the bite of rejection, entirely unsure of her feelings toward me. The aforementioned knife twisted every time I thought I might fall short of the mark. That she would be repulsed by me, or disinterested in the most soul-crushing way.

I didn't want to compromise our friendship. We had grown so close. The season's filming was going so well. I didn't want to risk it all and lose her due to the shame of rejection and uncomfortable feelings between us. And I for sure didn't want her or me to lose the job because our scenes got awkward.

But then came the sex scene.

+

Written into the plot was a love story blossoming between our two characters. It would come to a boiling point in an intense scene in the bakery.

It was as if a softly spoken magic spell granted my ultimate wish. Being that close to her, all over her, was all I could think about since meeting her. Now it was coming true. And in a way that made it so that I didn't have to actually put myself out there and get rejected.

The shoot started without a hitch. We were briefed by the intimacy coach ahead of filming in order to make the scene as comfortable as possible for the both of us. We were fitted with the necessary modesty undergarments that kept things sanitary, but convincing for TV.

After running through some things a couple of times, both of us felt ready to start. I began the scene, Y/N walked in and we exchanged dialogue. The lines flowed naturally, growing in intensity until I had to hoist her onto the table, hungrily gripping at her clothes.

I thought I could stop myself. I thought that being in character would prevent it from happening. But my true feelings made themselves known as soon as I had to act out thrusting inside of her. My mind wandered. I pictured her and I doing this, but for real, just the two of us. No cameras. No lights. Just real and raw. Before I knew it, I felt a tightness in my pants grow. My groin began to throb. Y/N looked down at my erection and blushed, breaking character and giggling a bit.

'Cut!'

'I'm so sorry," Y/N laughed, straightening herself up. 'We can take it again, I got distracted.' She looked down at me from atop the table and smiled. My face flushed.

Was she grossed out? Fuck. I thought.

'U-uh-' I stuttered. 'Can I actually take five? I think my uh- costume malfunctioned.'

The crew obliged and I quickly made my way to a back room, hidden from everyone on set. I was so embarrassed. My cheeks burned so hot, I thought they might burst into flames. I began to adjust myself, making sure I didn't have to clean anything up before returning to work.

'Boo,' a voice said behind me. My heart nearly stopped.

'Fuck!' I yelped, shoving my dick in my pants and turning on my heel to see a very coy Y/N standing before me.

'I thought I might find you here,' she smirked. She turned around and closed the door behind her, quietly locking it.

'Hey listen, uh-' I began. 'I'm so sorry about earlier I just-' She cut me off by putting her lips on mine. I tensed at the touch but didn't pull away. I just couldn't believe it was real life. My arms wrapped around her frame, just as they did in the scene, cradling her closely. We made out feverishly, every bottled-up desire I had bubbled to the surface.

I felt for the hem of her dress, beginning to lift it up before stopping dead and separating myself from her.

'What's wrong?' she panted, looking up at me with her big sparkly eyes. My stomach lurched.

'I just, I don't want to do this if you don't,' I muttered, sheepishly. I'm not even sure if that's what I actually wanted to say, but it came out nonetheless.

'I want this, Evan,' she whispered. 'I'll confess, I think I really like you.'

'I-'

'And I think you feel the same, based on what happened a few minutes ago,' she continued.

'Y/N, I want to be professional, but fuck, do I have feelings for you,' I replied. 'But I think, I think for work's sake, we should hold off.'

'We're playing two people in love, why would it compromise our job? If anything, it would help us,' she argued.

'If we do this, I’ll run the risk of losing you, and that’s worse,' I breathed.

She didn't reply. Instead, she grabbed me by my face and pulled me in, resuming our make-out session. I couldn't hold it in any longer. I grabbed her shoulders and led her backward, pressing her up against the wall. She moaned softly. The pressure in my pants returned. Or had it ever even left?

Her hands fumbled around at my waistband, looking to unhook my belt. I helped her out, removing it in one swift motion. She took the button of my pants in her fingers, unlatching it hastily, then at last, she unzipped my fly. I tugged the trousers off and my cock sprang out, throbbing immensely. I couldn't wait to feel it inside her warm, wet pussy.

She removed her panties and reconnected with my lips, wrapping her arms around my neck. I hoisted her up the wall hurriedly, my dick finding and sliding inside her dripping cunt almost instantly. We both let out loud moans as I thrust further into her, feeling her warmth encompassing my member. Her walls tightened almost too deliciously around me, making it tremendously hard for me to stop myself from coming. I groaned.

'Oh my god,' she cried, eyes screwed shut in pleasure. Her face was so contorted by ecstasy, it made me fuck her harder.

'I'm gonna come,' I moaned, thrusting just a few more times before blowing my load unceremoniously inside of her. Months of tension released. She threw her head back and cried out, signaling that she had as well.

I removed myself from inside of her and guided her back down to her feet, holding my hands on her shoulders to keep her steady. My knees were weak, too. Pure adrenaline was keeping me upright.

'Holy shit,' she panted. 'Holy shit.'

'You're so fucking hot,' I growled, punctuating it by peppering kisses up and down her neck and chest. Finally having caught her breath, she laughed.

'I think we may have to, you know, do our job now?' she snarked.

'The job where I get to pretend to fuck you? Don't mind if I do,' I replied, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her in close.

'We can go for round two after we nail this next take, okay?' she smirked. My chest tightened in the best way. She took my breath away.

+++

LOL I HOPE THIS WAS OKAY!!! writer's block had me in a chokehold. i have so many requests to get through i was like 'damn where do i even start???' clearly it was with this one. thanks for breaking the curse. more to come very very soon...

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

okay need to say that i'm addicted to your intro post.... sirius is brat & u get it. also rosebitchkiller?????? your mind. you've opened my eyes to something. pls yap on it

hi i literally love you youre so cool SO

this made me think bc i usually think of them in a au-ed world ? not a canon thing. but i like making canon things. sawr.

established rosekiller

rosekiller isnt exclusive exclusive . theyre like friends w benefits atp

evan's had a crush on sirius since he like saw him and it never went away

barty thought regulus was cool and when he met sirius he started harboring a small obsession over him

evan and barty are toxic and bad-with-feelings and just generally horrible people (x) and they fight a lot and break up a LOT

while the prank is happening in the marauders' pov, evan and barty break up

sirius comes home for christmas that year even though he usually spends it at hogwarts and barty is haha also there

-i feel like sirius def pities barty. i mean he does canonically yes, but in-school, he just sees a kid who fucking hates his stuck up dad with stupid high expectations who's never content? that w how he hates regulus and projects his worry for regulus onto barty is .

barty gets Attention from Cool Older Brother who's all suave and idgaf and mean and his little obsession turns bigger

sirius "ive never seen healthy forms of romantic love" black is . relishing in barty's obsession.

he hates barty obviously, because what's a good kid doing hanging out w dark art kids ?? but like also Mmm Attention <3

when he's not with his mother, he's with barty

they also like fuck btw like yuckily too bc theyre fucked up

(this all happens over the . like . two week? idk/ christmas break)

when they get back to hogwarts - that's when things get interesting

rosekiller get into a rather violent fight bc evan is like "not only did you commit to another person, its SIRIUS BLACK????"

(barty did not commit . but thats for the bitchkiller post.)

and while this little thing is going on the marauders have healed and sirius is like "bartemius who 💀💀"

uh barty is Angry and Evan is kind of jealous and kind of relieved and kind of horny

evan and barty competing w each other to get sirius' attention

(barty usually gets it, but like it's nothing special)

(the sexual tension is great on e&b's part sirius is just "what do these horny fucks want")at

uhh it turns into three-way flirting

also i didnt metnion but like all three of them HATE each other like evan finds barty obnoxious and sirius a faker (he loves them both) sirius finds evan ew because dark arts and barty a loser because... well. he is. and barty finds them both irritating but unfortunately the pinnacles of male beauty (hes really horny i fear)

uhh smoothly turns into a threesome by the very end of sirius' fifth year

sirius runs away over the summer

back at hogwarts, he doesnt really want to go back to that weird toxic-threesome-thing he had w rosekiller because, again, he doesnt really like them and they dont really like him and they dont even really like each other and maybe sirius likes someone else? remus or james or whoever? and sirius wants to build Healthy relationships?

sirius clings to james a more at the start of hogwarts (naturally) and barty is who sirius is more averse to talking to because he's usually harsher and gets angry easier and is less easier to intimidate

so evan and sirius talk a bit, for once, like have. real conversations. and get to know each other.

sirius has a buzzcut btw (i have STRONG feelings about this) so evan gets one too

evan is Weird and knows in detail about very obscure things and sirius is and always has been attracted to knowledge. while w barty it was more of a debate thing, w evan he can just spill information and listen to evan's too without it being competitive

also evan is more of a bitch so sirius doesnt deem him a threat to his mental health

ALSO !!! barty flips between hypersexual and sex repulsed like a light switch so evan and sirius are used to fucking, like just the two of them, a lot

but barty has fomo so they dont really hangout alone yk

oh and also barty and sirius dont really 'hangout' alone either because evan is very possessive

uhh but like yes they fuck again

its a not-really-friends with benefits situation

no feelings involved !! haha !!

till evan gets the dark mark :3

(barty does too, but sirius doesnt know)

umm !! big !! fight

theyre very violent i didnt mention this but rosekiller have BLOODY fights. sirius isnt very prone to throwing a punch, he usually does enough damage by his tongue alone, but like he gets dragged into it sometimes

(and then JAMES gets involved too because of course he does...)

but like this fight is final and sirius is like "why are you guys even upset were just fucking 💀💀"

and uh btw barty and evan litr never stopped being obsessed w sirius and are just now realizing that sirius just does not gaf like FR how down bad they are (sirius doesnt know theyre like fr in love but like it wouldnt make a difference sawr)

uhh yeah so sirius breaks it off

and barty and evan are like fuck him

but also like i miss fucking him 💔💔

wait a minute we could just ... fuck eachother

for ever

hence rosekiller is birthed

then sirius graduates and literally never thinks about them again

well maybe he does

but only like "god they fucked good i need dick rn" and "i still scars on my waist tf"

and barty and evan are like resentful but also like ugh he doesnt gaf... thats so hot... but also like they found someone who matched their freak (each other) so theyre content

yerp

i hope this makes sense ☹️💔

[deadandwalking]

INFO ON MY FREQUENT FRONTERS!!

general headspace info and a dictionary below the cut!!

also tw for s/a mentions

@lukewarmsoapytoast @spiderplnt

Angel - 14 years old (regressor), signs with 🪽

does not care what pronouns you use, we generally use he/him

fictive of The Creature - APCollection and Offenderman - Creepypasta

front triggered by: Slenderman, religious stuff, high stress situations

need to know: Angel is under the impression that Slenderman is his father, typically refers to him as ‘Vati’, and can be heavily upset if he feels his father is being mistreated. the easiest way to not trigger him is to speak respectfully of and avoiding mentioning Slenderman where possible. Angel also has a very unstable personality- he can be shy and quiet one front and a boisterous obnoxious asshole the next.

Fen - 19 years old, signs with 🪽🥀

he/they

fictive of Offenderman - Creepypasta

front triggered by: Danger, anger, or heightened paranoia

need to know: Fen is heavily separated from source and being compared to it can be super triggering for him. he does however have exomemories from his source. he’s sex-repulsed due to source but can hear about it, just doesn’t like talking about it himself.

Offy - undetermined age, adult, signs with 💐

he/it

fictive of Offenderman - Creepypasta

front triggered by: Having to argue with an adult, splits, and Angel getting triggered

need to know: Offy is the only one of my three Offender fictives that doesn’t source separate. he knows who he is and frankly doesn’t care. he doesn’t approve of his actions in source though. he can handle hate well enough but if it starts to affect Fen he’ll argue to defend them both. he’s overprotective of both Fen and Angel since he considers them his brother and nephew

HABIT - 15-17 years old (slight age slider), signs with 🔪

he/they/it and a bunch of WOKE pronouns (blood/knife/rabbit/trial/decay)

fictive of Habit - EverymanHYBRID

front triggered by: Angel getting upset, rabbits or knives, talking about his source

need to know: HABIT loves his source but is not source-compliant himself. he has memories of some parts of emh but doesn’t feel like it was him. he’s just a little dogboy here <3 also he’s in a relationship with Angel. they’re officially just boyfriends but they call eachother husband (aww). he’s generally quite hyper but it’s hard to tell because he has a typing quirk where he writes in all caps.

Evan - age undetermined, around late 20s to mid 30s, signs with ☠️

he/him

fictive of Evan Myers - EverymanHYBRID

front triggered by: the body not being fed/hydrated/well rested

need to know: Evan is very source compliant if we just focus on the first few episodes. he’s traumatised from his source but working on it, HABIT helps him a surprising amount. he thinks of HABIT like a little brother even if he’s still a little bit scared of him

Jimmy - 40 years old, signs with 🐎

he/him

fictive of Jimmy Zare - Mouthwashing

front triggered by: no known triggers, fronts to take strain off others (usually me or Fen)

need to know: Jimmy is mostly source compliant, but feels a lot more regret for his actions that canonical Jimmy. he HATES people calling him all those dumb J names (j-diddy, jisappointment, jexual jassualt etc) but doesn’t mind all the bland ones like Jim, Jimbo, etc

Grey - 23 years old, signs with 📗

she/her

octive of Grey Zare - Jimmy’s daughter, Mouthwashing

front triggered by: Jimmy fronting or getting triggered

need to know: Grey is #1 Jimmy defender and has the WORST “i can fix him” complex ever. unfortunately she will not respond well to Jimmy hate so she’s not allowed on social media without at LEAST 2 others in co-front

Manasses - somewhere in his 40s, signs with 🔲

he/it

original alter

front triggered by: depression spirals, uncomfortable online interactions

need to know: BAD MAN!!! BAD!!!!!! he can be nice, but do NOT be his friend. he has assaulted me multiple times in the headspace and shows absolutely no regret, even going as far as to say i deserved it. holds my fps against me, shames me for being s/a’d, just bad overall.

General info

our system is called the Dark Novella system, but i more commonly refer to it as “the headspace”. we use the collective pronouns they/it and are still deciding on a collective name.

we use the terms headspace/system and headmate/alter interchangeably, so any is fine!

we are high switching, when one person fronts it often takes a while to get me back. we forced mechanical fronts for a while and it damaged us so our natural fronting is a little rusty :(

we consider eachother family ^^

our headcount is pretty high but generally it’s the same few people fronting. our frequent fronters change every now and again.

Dictionary

fictive - an alter that takes the form of a fictional character for any reason - usually comfort, due to a hyperfixation or because the alter’s role/job/purpose is similar to the character in some way

front triggered - something good, bad or neutral that will throw us into a certain mindset that causes an alter to come out, or that an alter believes is their thing to deal with/do/whatever is relevant

source - source is whatever an introject comes from. for example, a fictive’s source will be the book/movie/show they’re from. an octive’s source will be the story they’re from, and a songtive’s source will be the song/album they formed because of

exomemories - exomemories are memories that a fictive has from their source that never actually happened. when a fictive has memories of their past that is actually just the lore to their source, it’s an exomemory.

octive - an octive is an alter that takes the form of a character the host or another alter made up

[michael-the-candybar]

Hey hey! I saw your Barty headcanons and thought they were SUPERB! Do you happen to have any Evan ones as well??

omg thank you! and oh i have so many i think i actually have like 3 separate posts on him but ill do another cause why not!

• if evan was an animagus(i think thats how you spell it) he’d either be a ferret or a possum but i dont hate the fennec fox idea either.

• ironically, he’s terrified of snakes and unfortunately learns this when barty adds a new addition to the dorms

• he and barty have matching rings on necklaces

• the dorm room is litered with his taxidermy projects

• yk how everyone has a crush on monty when they meet him? i feel like evan had that, but on barty’s dad before learning all the shit about him (barty was mortified when he found out)

• breaks spaghetti, he hates that it doesn’t fit into the pot when raw so he just snaps it. barty never allowed him back into the kitchen

• lowkey a germaphobe, but like he refuses to eat something if he saw someone lick a utensil and put it back in the dish

•huge sensory issues when it comes to clothing, if barty’s wear a shirt that bothers him and its touching him, he forces barty to either take the shirt off or change

• this ones sad but ace evan who is so repulsed by sex that he threw up after the first time he tried to be intimate with someone

• when he’s stressed he’ll rearrange the dorm but than it stresses him out even more and eventually he just shuts down

• freezing cold showers in the morning kinda guy

• he has glasses but no one knows cause he just wears contacts

• i love the hc of pandora as a seer and cause i see them as twins, i think evan would have a similar gift except it would come in the forms of vague nightmares that he always forgets when he wakes up

[our-t4t-experience]

PLEASE READ BEFORE SENDING IN SUBMISSIONS

ok i guess i oughta make an intro post bc im getting some of the same questions over and over again

hi my names evan. im southern, straight and t4t. im in a relationship with a nonbinary trans woman currently and have been for about 7 months now

you can dm me and ill read them but i probably wont respond.

im autistic and communicate really directly and am also monotone so if i answer your ask with a nasty tone, it probably wasnt meant to come off that way unless your ask was mean. feel free to ask for clarification if necessary

please dni if youre cis. i would prefer this to be a trans only space. also its a t4t space so like what good is this to you anyway

for romance repulsed individuals: i will be tagging all romantic t4t posts from hereon out with "romantic t4t". i will ALSO be tagging all platonic t4t posts with "platonic t4t" if ud like to search that tag. for anyone sex repulsed or under 18, anything that could be nsft will be tagged "t4t nsft". hope this helps yall out (:

FAQ

what is a t4t relationship?

t4t is any kind of relationship between two or more trans people, whether that be romantic, sexual, platonic, queerplatonic, professional, or anything else that comes to mind

do you accept platonic t4t submissions?

yea. i have many trans friends and love them very much. every trans person should have trans friends i think, even if theyre not exclusively t4t. my trans friends are just as important as my romantic relationship to another trans person, i love having trans friends

do you accept nonbinary submissions?

yes, if you do not identify as cis, feel free to send in an ask

evan im not cis but im ____ can i interact?

yea. i would define cis as strongly and exclusively identifying as ones assigned gender at birth. if you dont fall under this category (note EXCLUSIVELY as well) then congrats youre good (questioning people are also welcome btw)

evan im cis but im an ally can i interact?

no. find another blog

FAQ MAY BE UPDATED AS I RECEIVE MORE ASKS