#sex in the impala
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#tv girl#odd future#mitski#tyler the creator#joji music#lana del rey#radiohead#girl in red#current joys#weezer#boygenius#lil peep#mac demarco#pixies#phoebe bridgers#nirvana#my bloody valentine#frank ocean#pink floyd#the smiths#deftones#surfjan stevens#mazzy star#alex g#faye webster#cigarettes after sex#tame impala#foo fighters
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I donāt want destiel right away. I want to watch 15 episodes of them with casās confession hanging over every moment. I want them to be working a long case and every chance Dean gets he tries to bring it up, but cas doesnāt let him. He thinks deanās going to mock him. He doesnāt even ride in the car with Dean, he flies everywhere, which he hasnāt done in years. And then at the end of the case, I want cas to be about to hightail it out of there when Dean grabs his elbow and just softly says. āPlease stay, Casā
#spn#supernatural#Dean#castiel#destiel#cas#otp: all for him#ch.dean#ch.cas#<3#and then they have gay sex in the back of the impala
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they got me there š
links to the playlists btw if anyone wants them (none of them are mine):
my personal fave rn ^^ (it relates to me current situation a lot lol)
#lana del rey#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#coco and clair clair#the ronettes#the cardigans#melanie martinez#cults#cause you're just a man#girlblogging#female rage#playlist#the neighbourhood#laufey#tv girl#mitski#music#music reccs#taylor swift#the 1975#girl in red#d4vd#cigarettes after sex#mood#olivia rodrigo#conan gray#tame impala#kate bush#roar#beachhouse#cavetown
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Sixty-Seven - Now It's Perfect 2024
Title: Sixty-Seven
Ship: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Rating: Mature | Word Count: 1,967
Tags: Post-Season/Series Finale, Dean Winchester In Heaven, Sam Winchester In Heaven, Reunion Sex, Sex in/on The Impala, Top Dean Winchester/Bottom Sam Winchester, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bacon, Fun With Numbers, Written for Now It's Perfect 2024
Summary: Numbers had always been important to them. They could mean the difference between life and death. Yet, most of the time Dean would scoff at any deeper meaning. But Sam had believed. Since he was little, he had trusted in things that were larger and grander than himself. And now his faith was about to be rewarded.
I would like to thank @digitalmeowmix for organizing this year's round of Now It's Perfect. It was so much fun to participate, and I hope everyone will check out all of the amazing stories in the collection!
Story on AO3 | Collection on AO3
#wincest#sam/dean#dean/sam#s15ep20#carry on#now its perfect#sam winchester#dean winchester#the boys in heaven#reunion sex#sex in/on the impala#top dean winchester#bottom sam winchester#angst with a happy ending#bacon#fun with numbers#spn#supernatural
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eternal sunshine of my spotless mind / playlist
my spin on the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind movie. i made the playlist reflecting on exes id like to forget & family issues that made me the way i am that i just wish i could erase and get a do over.
pls like & share if you enjoyed it or could relate
#spotify#concept playlist#playlist#concept playlists#music#mixtape aesthetic#spotify playlist#mixtapes#spotify playlists#sampha#halsey#starfall#the 1975#phoebe bridgers#tame impala#conan gray#agust d#suga#cigarettes after sex#wolf alice#indie music#rnb#rnbmusic#pop music#beabadoobee#gracie abrams#billie eilish#harry styles#eternal sunshine#eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
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Someone please give me some good songs/ artists to listen tooooo. I listen to everything and Iām open to any and all music! If you do,Iāll give you the biggest kiss on the cheek. Alright, I love you all and Iām so proud of you ā¤ļø. I hope you have a wonderful day/ night, and remember my DMās are always open for those who want to talk! š«¶
#k pop#enhypen#music#green day#twice#i love you#please#pretty please#faye webster#alex g#tv girl#radio head#cigarettes after sex#mac demarco#mitski#pink pantheress#the weeknd#lana del rey#laufey goddess#tame impala#lonelly#i need friends
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There was something special about Kansas in the summer. The days seemed to last forever with late sunsets and early sunrises, vibrant strokes of rich tone that eventually faded into water colors of blue sky or deep blankets of black, bejeweled by stars like spilled glitter. The air sits heavy and thick with the sweltering heat and down dirt roads, if it wasn't for the hum of cicadas, one could swear they could hear the sound of the Earth rotating in the dead of night.
Sam and Dean love Kansas summer nights. It feels like home, mostly to Dean because he remembers those nights when Mary would let him stay up every now and again to show him how to catch fireflies in a jar, his own little moving constellation behind glass. Sam lives in Dean's nostalgia, in every fond smile as his shining emerald eyes relive those memories that he'll never have, but that's good enough for him, to bear witness to the recollection of a time when things were normal for at least one of them.
Countless hours on the road would afford them pit stops to stretch their legs, have a beer, enjoy the weather or whatever scenic view they happened to stumble upon across state to state, but with roots firmly replanted back in Kansas, Dean drags Sam out at night for an evening of stargazing down a lampless, dark dirt road on some long stretch of farmland far enough away from city lights that would obstruct their view of the universe above them. The flattened topography of the Sunflower State gives them miles of visibility, and somewhere far off, bright little flashes illuminate clouds they couldn't tell were there before, a telltale sign of a thunder storm so typical of the season.
The Impala's parked off to the side of the road, and Dean decides it's better to lay out a blanket instead of sitting on the heated hood of his car, especially with the way Sam sweats. They're close enough to the car on the outskirts of the field that they leave the passenger door open and let the radio play them a soundtrack of Zeppelin. They're sat side by side, Dean's legs laid out in front of him, one hand behind him, palm to blanket with his weight leaned against it with a beer in the other, and Sam's got one knee bent, using it as an arm rest as he holds his beer bottle by the neck between three fingers. His eyes are towards the horizon, watching the glimmer of stars and noting now many of them streak across the sky, but Dean's eyes are on him, wondering if he ever made wishes on the cosmic dust as it burned up and faded out.
Sam can feel Dean's stare, but it's not heavy, it's not judgmental or wrought with worry. It's reverent, a softness that's rare around his usual rough edges. Sam turned his head to meet his brother's unwavering gaze, the unspoken affection found there making his chest bloom with heat as his heart rate gave a small spike. A few moments pass that feel like a lifetime before Sam leaned over and kissed Dean, slow and sweet, the gesture appreciative more than anything. Dean responded in turn, eyes only falling half-closed as he tried to keep the vision of Sam's lashes in focus, wanting to savor their closeness.
Beer bottles were abandoned in exchange for skin on skin contact, Sam's hand on Dean's neck and Dean's buried in those soft locks. He could feel the faint dampness of sweat at base of Sam's skull, a mix of cool and warm between fingers. Their lips moved in no particular rush, pressing and barely parted until one of them, they couldn't tell who, had introduced the tender swipe of tongue. The lingering taste of beer gradually subsided until all they could taste was each other. Time slowed, the songs now fuzzy in the air went from one to the next until the tape eventually ended, leaving them with the low rumbles of thunder as the storm had gradually crept upon them.
It wasn't until the gentle tink tink tink of rain hitting the Impala could be heard that the kiss was broken and both of them turned their gaze to the sky, the stars no longer visible under the cover of clouds. The rain was quick, what started as a few sparse drops quickly turned to a downpour and Dean cursed under his breath as he scrambled to get up. Sam was on his feet as well as soon as his brother reached to pull up the blanket from underneath them, making quick strides to the car to shove it inside and close the door, ultimately worried about the interior getting soaked. He was about to tell Sam to hurry and get in before he heard him laugh. Not a chuckle, not a scoff at the fact that they were quickly drenched, but a genuine, happy laugh.
Dean's breath shallowed as his eyes fell upon his brother. Sam had his arms outstretched as if embracing the downpour, even spinning a few times with his head tipped back, welcoming the wash of cool. Suddenly it was 1996 again, Sam dancing in slow motion with his arms up in a shower of sparks from fireworks they should have never set off, a smile so rare that when caught etched itself in his heart as his idea of Heaven, to see his little brother so happy. That smile was there again as he looked back at Dean, hair flattened to the sides of his face by the weight of the water, soon smoothed back by long and deft fingers. The grey v-neck shirt was clinging to his broad chest, soaked and outlining the definition long since earned from years of hunting and dedication to his health. Dean's eyes locked in on him as if watching some cosmic event unfold, beautiful and breathtaking. They stared at each other for a few seconds longer before the weight of the moment overtook them and they made strides towards each other, coming together in a rush, gathering one another up.
Dean's arms wrapped around Sam's middle as Sam moved to cup Dean's face, their mouths meeting in a hungry fashion, chests filling with air and arching towards each other. Their hands held possessively, lips and tongues embracing fiercely as they shared the breaths from their lungs. It wasn't long before Dean curled his hands into the soaked material of Sam's shirt, dragging blunt nails over it, pulling his little brother as close as physically possible as he stepped back towards the Impala, blindly reaching for the door to the backseat. If he hadn't known that car like the back of his hand, he would have had to break the kiss to get them situated, but he knew the height and how far back he'd have to lean to grant them both the room to maintain their lip lock as they climbed inside.
Here, on this country road, miles away from the garish lights of the city and under the cover of darkness in the backseat of the Impala, they carved themselves another little piece of Heaven.
#this came out way fluffier than i imagined#wincest#ficlet#prompt generated#sorry to skip out on the actual sex but i enjoyed the romance here a little too much#i'll do more prompts for the sexier stuff soon#don't know why i opted out for dialogue#but i think it works#i know the prompt also said they have sex out in the open but i like impala sex during rain#fluff
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6 of the songs you listen to most?
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uh. here
#do not make me choose#music#song of the week#indie songs#fav songs#song recs#song of the day#favorite songs#love songs#song#indie music#music recs#song lyrics#cigarettes after sex#arctic monkeys#mehro#billie eilish#tame impala#mother mother#brockhampton#AM#asks#crying-in-converse
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Kind of a compilation of edit audios I found, and some others I thought were fitting.
Made this about 2 years ago, when I first read the book, and added a few songs over time. Didnāt know what to do with the heartbreak, had to put it somewhere.
#manacled#aesthetic#music playlist#spotify#senlinyu#fanfic#fic playlist#fanfiction#ao3#original playlist#spotify playlist#dramione#harry potter au#throwback#variety#sad vibes#fanfic writing#phoebe bridgers#florence and the machine#the band ghost#tame impala#gorillaz#cigarettes after sex#the neighbourhood#boygenius#mitski#ellie goulding
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What's your favorite band/musician?
Cigarettes After Sex, always and forever š©¶ Iāve been their fan for the past 5 years now! I just love them sooo much omg I canāt even explain š
I also have some other favs like:
Travis Scott, Metro Boomin, 21 Savage, Lil Uzi, Asap Rocky, Tame Impala, The Weeknd (just trying to ignore his āthe idolā era because that gives me the ick š but his music is AMAZING)
#cigarettes after sex#metro boomin#21 savage#asap rocky#lil uzi vert#the weeknd#tame impala#my favs <3#ask game
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Absolutely despise Cellbit for introducing me to brazilian phonk music. He can't do that. I'm in very influencable years of my life.........
#this is like being introduced to dubstep at the age of 13 all over again...........#exactly the mix of shitpost edge and heavy beat that's like Minecraft of sex to me#but I did at least use to feel cooler walking around listening to Tame Impala or whatever. what the hell is Automotivo Bibi Fogosa.#I'll br adding it to my playlist as usual#rambles rambles rambles
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DROP YOUR PLAYLIST
HEREEEEEEE
#anons š#my taste is all over the place šāāļø#mostly listen to cigarettes after sex / weeknd / & tame impala heheh
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āShe possesses sex dolls, this is not a sex doll.ā ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT
#dfvq liveblog#dfv queue#dfvq spn#spn6x14#quotes#baby the impala#all cars go to heaven#knowing way too much about deanās sex life part ā¾
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Title: Money Back Guarantee
Ship: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Word Count: 694 | Rating: Explicit
Major Warnings: None Apply
Tags: Stanford Era, Dancer Sam Winchester, Customer Dean Winchester, Anal Plug, Sam Wears Daisy Dukes, Dean Appreciates The View, Sex in/on the Impala, Top Dean Winchester/Bottom Sam Winchester, Kinktober 2024, Kinktober Prompt: XXX-Store Viewing Booth
Summary: Sam needs a little money to cover his expenses while at Stanford. It's all good until the night the window shade raises and reveals a familiar face.
Written for @masoena 's October 27th Kinktober prompt of XXX-Store Viewing Booth.
Story on AO3.
#wincest fic#sam/dean#dean/sam#kinktober2024#stanford era#dancer sam winchester#customer dean winchester#sam wears daisy dukes#dean appreciates the view#sex in/on the impala#top dean winchester#bottom sam winchester#kinktober prompt: xxx-store viewing booth#spn#supernatural
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#bonus if dean is driving @sheepstiel
I like the way you think!!!!!!!!!
MEG FUCKING CAS IN THE BACKSEAT OF THE IMAPALA.
#hell yeah!!!!#god castiel like gripping the back seat right next to his head which he can't help but glance up to. holding so tight the leather creaks.#which makes dean yell at him so he says sorry but it's all yknow. sexified. so Dean's like DON'T TALK TO ME.#but also he needs directions to where they're going#I'm picturing this in a cas fuck or die spell type situation so they're racing away from the bad guys but also cas needs to get down.#the sex meg and cas are having is comically energetic. both of their set of underwear hit him in the back of the head.#the impala is rocking even as it drives#dean tries turning on the radio to distract himself but the only station that works is just going into '!#and now for the next 4 hours: smooth and relaxing jazz'#(previously established that the tape deck is broken and that's the only channel as a throw away line)#so Dean's like OH COME ON.#and Cas is like 'I'm doing my best'#Meg keeps loudly calling out to Cas like 'WOW ON THE CEILING. YOU'RE A REAL ANIMAL'#and Dean is all SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP#and she laughs a lot bc she loves spending time with Cas and also antagonising people š§”#her head ends up hanging over the top of the seat next to Dean's and she's like is this what you wanted when you asked for my help.#cause i get what the girl scouts were on about if helping people looks like this.#(they were teamed up for the witch case)
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show me who you are ā
the mark of cain weighs heavily on dean's shoulders, affecting all of you. when the bloodlust becomes too much, you know you have to help him. in the only way you can think of.
cw ā slight angst, mark of cain!dean, very slight mention of sa/non-con (not from dean), blood, gore, canon-typical violence, smut!, fem! reader, praise kink, dirty talk, rough sex, overstimulation, fingering, unprotected p in v, sorry if i miss anything else!
ā šæPORNSTAR - nessa barrett
i wanna hear you talking dirty,
i wanna see it on your face.
ā
it was getting worse, you could all see it. you, sam, cas - hell, even crowley could see it. the mark was slowly killing dean, and it was only getting worse.
it wasn't as obvious at first, just small outbursts here and there, but surely enough, it became more obvious. he was more snappy than usual, spent more time alone, and he would zone out more, hands either clenched into fists or one was clasped tightly over the mark on his forearm.
you didn't bring it up to him, that was the silent agreement that you, sam and cas had come up with, and you obliged to it. so you didn't tell dean how the far away look in his eyes made your brow furrow and your stomach churn with worry, or how your heart broke every night when you could hear him wake himself up from his nightmares. you didn't tell him how seeing him struggle, and refuse help, was slowly but surely breaking you down, and you definitely didn't tell dean that you missed him.
sure, he was right there, just down the hall from you, close enough that you could hear him in the ungodly hours of the night, restlessly rummaging around his room, but he still wasn't there. not the real him, not the dean that you knew. the dean you knew was being held captive by that horrid mark that not only haunted his dreams, but yours now too. you missed your dean, the one who told stupid jokes that made you choke on your beer. the dean who grinned proudly whenever you correctly named a song on the radio and who would sing a long loudly to his favorite led zeppelin songs, glancing at you as he drove.
drives are mostly silent now, save for the hum of the impala, or the quiet background noise of the radio, but still never those homemade tapes that he loved so much. he doesn't drink with you anymore, though he still does it an unhealthy amount. he drinks alone in his room, or late at night by himself in the kitchen, a glass of whiskey in his hand, his eyes staring somewhere far off. the only reason you even know this is because one night, when you couldn't sleep, you went to the kitchen for a glass of water and found him there, only to have him get up and leave with only a nod of acknowledgement to you.
it was killing him, and if you didn't do something about it, it was going to kill you too.
the hunt was supposed to be a cakewalk. it was just a nest of vampires not too far from the bunker, and dean insisted that he was fine, that the mark's screaming wasn't too much for him to bear and he was feeling good enough to go with you guys on the hunt.
after sharing a look with sam, you reluctantly relented, agreeing to let him come along under the condition that if he felt the bloodlust creeping in, he would back off and stay behind in the impala.
that leads to now, where you were currently kicking yourself for not doing recon before going in. the nest was bigger than you and sam had originally thought, there were probably double the amount of vamps than you had previously thought, and when you, him and dean had crept into the nest, one of the freshly turned ones - a child, no less - had spotted you and screamed, awaking the whole nest. and so here you were, wrestling with one of the female bloodsuckers on the grimy floor of the abandoned barn.
her dirt-caked nails raked down the sides of your neck, making you hiss in pain as you brought your knee up hard, hitting her in the stomach, effectively pushing her off of you. as soon as she was on her back next to you, you scrambled up, quickly grabbing your machete that the bitch had knocked out of your hands and turning back to her. without even giving her a chance to bare her fangs, you raise your bloodied machete over your head, bringing it down with a cry, cutting her head right off.
taking a second to breathe, you stand up, panting heavily as you brush some hair out of your face, turning your head to the side to spit out some blood, running your tongue over your teeth to get rid of the taste. your moment of rests is cut short though, when you hear a loud thud and the sounds of a struggle from the room next to you.
gripping your machete tighter and taking a deep breath, you rush out of the room you had been in, leaving behind the bodies of the three vamps you had killed. you sprint out the door, crashing through the room next door, your heart racing as you see sam in a struggle with two bloodsuckers.
you rush over, cutting the head off one before he even has the chance to fully turn around. the other one drops sam in surprise, turning to you and snarling, his disgusting rows of fangs glinting in the low light. using the vampire's moment of distraction, sam grabs his own machete and raises it, slicing the vamp's head clean off.
"you okay?" you ask, chest heaving as adrenaline courses through your veins.
sam nods, raising a hand to brush his hair back from his face, his own erratic breathing evidence of the fight. "yeah. yeah, i'm good. are you?"
"one of 'em got me good with her nails, but nothing fatal," you answer, tilting your head to show him the marks. he winces in sympathy, eyes raking over the angry red marks before he bends down to pick up a vial of dead man's blood. "where's dean?"
"not sure, i lost him once they jumped on us," sam says, brows furrowing as he pockets the dead man's blood, adjusting his grip on his machete. "maybe we should-"
whatever sam was going to say is cut off as a scream comes from the floor below. you and sam share a look, fear spiking in your chest before you both turn, racing out the door. you sprint through the hallway and down the stairs, sam right on your heels as you skip steps, landing shakily at the bottom. your eyes scan the landing, and you turn to call out to sam, but before you can get a word out, a hand grabs your arm, throwing you across the room.
you hear sam call your name behind you, but he gets cut off, and you assume that he has a vamp of his own to deal with. you push yourself up with a groan, but as your sitting up, a hand grabs your arm again, hauling you up and slamming you against the wall.
"well, would ya look at this," the vamp spits, his yellow stained teeth shown in a grin as he leans in, his putrid breath in your face making you want to vomit. "the winchester's brought their little girl toy. how nice of them to bring us a gift."
"go to hell," you spit, the words strained as his hand fists in the collar of your shirt, pressing against your neck as he raises you higher against the wall.
the vamp only grins wider, running his tongue over his small, cracked lips. his dark, greasy hair falls in front of his eyes, and his bloodshot blue eyes make him look crazed. he's bleeding from a fresh cut on his forehead, and you wonder if one of the boys had already got into it with him.
"ooh, and she's feisty," he snarls, smirking cruelly. he raises his other hand to brush his grime-covered fingertips over your forehead, running them through your hair.
you turn away from his touch, struggling in his vice-like grip as bile builds in your throat, but his smirk only grins, a low, dark chuckle leaving his crusted lips.
"that's just fine," he whispers, his hot breath fanning over your skin as he leans in to nose at your neck, inhaling deeply, ignoring your struggle in his grip. "i like it when they fight back."
his words make your heart pound, your chest tightening with panic, eyes wide with fear as you struggle in his tight grasp, arms flinging and nails scratching at anywhere you can reach, but he doesn't even flinch, his grip not loosening at all. you open your mouth to scream, hoping to get the attention of one of the boys, or anyone that will help you at this point, but the hand that was in your hair slaps over your mouth just as you part your lips, your scream muffled into his palm.
"ah-ah, be a good girl and stay quiet," he tuts, pulling back to bare his fangs to you. you just stare at him, eyes wide with fear as you continue to struggle in his hold. you squeeze your eyes shut as he leans in again, a tear slipping down your cheek.
"let her go."
your eyes snap wide open at the familiar voice of dean, gaze landing on him over the vamp's shoulder, relief filling you at the sight of him. he was standing there, blood splattered all over his clothes, face and hair, his grip white-knuckled on his machete. sam stands behind him, his own eyes wide with fear as they flick between dean and you in the monster's grip. you try to call out to them, but the sound comes out as a muffled whimper against the vamp's hand.
the bloodsucker turns his head to look behind him, his smirk faltering at the sight of dean. his fangs retract, but his grip on you stays vice-like.
"well if it isn't dean winchester," the vamp snarls, his hand over your mouth tightening slightly, making you wince. "come to save your little doll?"
dean's jaw clenches, his expression darkening even further as he stares at you and the vamp, taking a menacing step forward.
"i said - let her go," he growls, something dark flashing in his emerald eyes.
the vamp's eyes widen in fear at the look on dean's face, and his grip on you loosens slightly. that's the opening you need, and with all the strength you can muster, you bite down hard on his hand, simultaneously kicking your leg as hard as you can into his crotch.
the monster cries out in pain, his hands dropping you as they fly to where you kicked him. you fall to the floor with a small thud, catching yourself before you hit your head. you quickly stand up while the bloodsucker is distracted, and sam immediately rushes over to you, grabbing you and pulling you into his arms, backing you away from dean and the vamp.
"sam, wait, dean-"
"the mark's got him right now," sam cuts you off, his voice thick with worry as he holds you to him, soothing your trembling form. "we just gotta stay out of the way, there's nothing we can do."
his words sink in, and it's then you realize that the barn is quiet. your eyes widen in realization, and you turn your head to look up at sam, heart pounding in your chest.
"he killed them all?" you ask, your voice just barely above a whisper. sam's grim nod is enough to make you feel sick.
your attention is torn from that information as you hear the vamp cry out in pain, and when you look up, you see dean's got him on the floor, the vamp's head twisted at an odd angle as dean steps on his back, machete raised over his head.
"this is less than you deserve for touching her, you disgusting son of a bitch," dean spits, and you watch in horror as he raises his machete over his head, bringing it down in one smooth stroke, blood splattering across his face as he cuts the vamp's head clean off.
the barn is silent, save for dean's heavy breath and the pounding of your heart. dean's sleeve is torn, and you can see the mark pulsing an angry red, burning into his skin, the sight making your chest tighten even more.
dean doesn't move, he just stands there, chest heaving and eyes blazing as he stares at the dead body of the vamp, his knuckles white as he grips the machete, blood dripping from the blade onto the old wooden floor.
your heart aches in your chest, and you pull yourself from sam's arms, giving him a reassuring look when he tries to stop you. taking a deep breath, you take a small step towards where dean stands, your body still shaking slightly from adrenaline.
"dean?" you call softly, your voice gentle, trying not to startle him. you don't flinch when his eyes snap up to you, and though his body is still tense, you can see something soften slightly in his gaze when it lands on you. "can you put the machete down, please?"
to your surprise, he does as you ask, the blade falling to the floor with a clatter that echoes through the empty barn. you take that as an invitation to step closer, your eyes never leaving dean's as they follow your movements, his lips parted slightly as he breathes.
when you reach him, you tentatively reach your arm up, placing your hand on his arm, but he jerks back, sucking in a breath as he seemingly snaps out of whatever haze he was in. he takes a step back from you, eyes flickering between you and the severed body of the vampire on the floor.
"let's just go," he says, his voice hoarse and cold. with one last flickering glance up to you, he bends down to grab his machete before turning on his heel and walking to the entrance of the barn.
ā
the drive back to the bunker had been silent and filled with a suffocating tension that made it hard for you to breathe. once you were back inside the bunker, it wasn't any better, dean not saying a word as he storms ahead, rushing off to his room and closing the door abruptly behind him.
you and sam don't say much as he checks over you for any serious injuries, and you for him. he just hugs you, pressing a kiss to the top of your head before heading to his own room. you follow suit, shedding your bloodied clothing in your room before grabbing a change of clothes and heading to the bathroom attached to your bedroom, which the boys had agreed to give you as one of the few that had it's own bathroom.
in the shower, you turn the heat all the way up, scrubbing the blood from your stained skin, washing off the hands of the vamp who had grasped you. you rub until your skin is raw, and even though you did the other day, you shave, just to feel that sense of normalcy instead of the sickly unease that crawls in your nerves. you wash your hair twice, ridding yourself of the blood and dirt you had collected in the barn, sighing as the steam melted against your skin.
as you stood there under the burning stream, you thought about dean, about the look in his eyes, the empty way he had walked away from you, and all of the pain he had been going through since he had taken the god-forsaken mark. you knew that the guilt from succumbing to the blood lust weighed heavily on his shoulders, and you just wished that there was some way you could focus that anger, that need on something else. and that's when the idea came to you.
immediately, you shut off the water, grabbing a towel and wrapping your hair in it, grabbing another one to wrap around your body, rushing back into your room and grabbing a different pair of clothes than you had previously chosen. you trade out the old sweatpants for a pair of sleep shorts, large sweatshirt for an old t-shirt that you stole from dean months ago, and tossing your plain panties, instead grabbing one of your nicer pairs, a dark red lace number that hugged you perfectly, foregoing a bra.
you tried not to think about how ridiculous this was as you slip on the clothes, taking your now semi-damp hair out of the towel and running your hands through it gently, getting out the leftover tangles. you splash water on your face, drying it off with a towel as you look in the mirror, chewing on your lip as you decide whether to put a bit of makeup on or not. you decide yes, just throwing on the slightest bit of mascara and eyeliner, adding just a bit of blush, and swiping over your lips with your cherry lip balm, pursing your lips to properly coat them.
you lean back and study yourself in the mirror, cringing at the bright red scratch marks on your neck before taking a deep breath as you consider what you're about to do. fuck it, you think, go big or go home, right?
with those words of wisdom to yourself and one last deep breath, you turn and walk of out the bathroom, and then out of the door to your room, heading into the hallway, your bare feet pad on the concrete floor as you make the short walk just a few doors down to dean's room. you stop in front of his door, taking a shaky breath before raising your hand, hesitating for a moment before knocking softly.
you hear shuffling, as if he's getting out of bed, and then the door opens and he's suddenly in front of you, arms crossed over his chest as he leans against the doorway.
your breath hitches at the sight of him, your stomach flipping as you look up at him. his hair is spiked and damp, reflecting the shower he probably just took, his stubble highlighting his jaw. his plaid pajama pants are slung low on his hips, just enough to show a sliver of skin between the waistband and the hem of his black t-shirt that hugs his shoulders tightly, stretching over his chest.
dean says your name in a low voice, tilting his head as he looks down at you. you snap out of your trance, flushing slightly as you realize you were caught staring. "what're you doing here?" he asks, and doubt pools in your chest.
"i...i have a proposal," you say, nervously biting your lip as you look up at him.
dean's eyes track the movement, his jaw clenching as he flicks his gaze back up to your eyes, brows raising in question. "a proposal?"
you nod, shifting anxiously on your feet. you take a breath, forcing yourself to calm down as you smile nervously up at him. "can i come in?"
he doesn't say anything, just continues to stare at you, pushing off the doorway and stepping back, allowing you to walk by him. you step into the threshold of his room, forcing yourself to push away the nerves as you stand in front of the bed. your eyes follow him as he closes the door behind you, walking over to stand in front of you, arms still crossed over his chest as he looks down at you.
"so, what's this proposal of yours?" dean asks, the rough timbre of his voice sending a shiver up your spine. you snap out of it, meeting his gaze head on as you speak.
"okay, i was thinking about the mark, and the blood lust." you can see his jaw clench at the mention of the mark and your stomach flips, but you continue. "so i thought, what if...what if there was another way to channel that?"
something flickers in his eyes at your words, and he raises his eyebrows in curiosity. "what d'you mean?"
you swallow nervously, biting your lip as you consider what you're about to say. "before i say it, i just want you to know that if this makes you uncomfortable then i can just go and we'll pretend that this never happened and-"
dean cuts you off with a grunt of your name, tilting his head as he narrows his eyes at you. "just spit it out-"
"i want you to fuck me." the words come out of your mouth before you can stop them, both yours and dean's eyes widening at the bluntness of them.
"you want me to-"
"fuck me," you restate, deciding to just go with your forwardness. "i was thinking about what the mark makes you feel, and how it makes you turn that into blood lust, but then i thought about what if you could channel it into something else. give you some other way to let go."
dean doesn't say anything, just stands there, nostrils flaring and jaw clenched so tight your worried he's going to break something as he stares at you, eyes raking over your features as if something in them is going to tell him that you're joking.
you look away as you flush under his stare, regret and embarrassment seeping into your chest. when he still doesn't say anything, you shake your head, biting your lip as you turn to head back towards his door. "i knew this was stupid, i'm sorry-"
dean doesn't even give you the chance to finish your apology as he grabs your arm and spins you back into his chest, pulling a gasp from your lips.
"stop doing that," he growls, and when you look up into his eyes, they're so dark it makes your breath hitch. his hand that's not gripping your arm comes up to cup your jaw, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip, tugging it lightly. "drivin' me fucking crazy."
you're too dazed by his sudden proximity to respond, the woody, leather filled scent that's so purely dean invading your senses and making you dizzy.
"let me get this straight," dean says, his voice low and slightly strained as he thumbs at your bottom lip, his eyes glued to the action. "you want me to fuck you, to get rid of the blood lust?"
you nod, lips parting automatically as he tugs at your bottom one, eyes wide as you stare up at him. "yea-yeah. it would still be letting that energy out, just in a different way," you tell him, your voice slightly breathless.
"and you want that?" he asks, eyes lingering on the way your lips brush his thumb as you speak before slipping back up to meet yours. "you want me to let go with you, sweetheart?"
you nod again, swallowing thickly as your mouth goes dry at the nickname. even though you'd heard it from his lips a thousand times before, this time it felt different, heavier, and you felt it weigh on your heart. "of course, if it'll help you-"
"no," dean cuts you off, growling your name and gripping your jaw tighter. "i'm asking you if you want this. not if you want to help me, i'm asking if you want me to fuck you, because if i won't touch you if you don't want this."
"i want this," you answer without hesitation, your voice breathy and your eyes wide, pupils blown with lust as you look up at him. "i wouldn't do this if i didn't want it."
dean groans, eyes clenching shut as if it's physically paining him to hold back, and his hand on your arm slides around your waist, tugging you flush against his chest. when he opens his eyes again, the sapphire green that wormed it's way into your heart is almost entirely swallowed by lust-blown black, the sight making your heart stutter.
"if we do this," he starts, his voice dangerously low. his hand caresses your waist before moving to your hip, gripping the flesh tightly through your clothes. "i'm not so sure 'm gonna be able to control myself. i don't wanna hurt you."
you shake your head, eyes determined as you hold his gaze, your hands coming up to his chest, fisting in his shirt and pulling him impossibly closer. "you're not gonna hurt me, dean," you whisper, pushing up on your tip-toes so that your lips are a breath away from his. "i want this, i want you to let go with me. i want you to use me."
dean just stares at you for a moment, his hand on your jaw moving to cup your cheek as his eyes bore into yours, jaw clenched and nostrils flared. as soon as his eyes flick back up to yours, something snaps in him and he surges forward, crashing his lips to yours.
you moan at the intensity of the kiss, your hands moving from his shirt to wind up into his hair, fingers tangling tightly in the still damp strands. his hands are suddenly everywhere, moving from your cheek to grip your hair, the hand on your hip slipping under your shirt to caress your bare skin, groaning against your lips when he finds that you're not wearing a bra.
your lips part instantly as you feel his tongue run along your bottom lip, moaning into his mouth as he tilts his head, running his tongue over your teeth before sucking your bottom lip into his mouth. your head is spinning as your teeth clash, your hands in his hair holding him tightly to you, arching your body into his.
when you both finally remember you need air, you pull back with a pop, a string of saliva connecting your now swollen lips. dean rests his forehead against yours, his hands finding a place at your hips, gripping them tightly as he catches his breath.
"last chance to back out," he breathes, looking at you with hooded eyes that make your knees weak.
"not a chance, winchester," you whisper back, your voice equally strained as you pant softly, trying to force air into your lungs.
dean groans at your words, and without hesitation, he slams his lips back to yours, one hand fisting in your hair as the other creeps up your back, pulling your shirt up with it until he has to pull away to tug it off you, throwing it somewhere. his pupils grow impossibly larger as he takes in your bare chest, your nipples pebbling as they're exposed to the cool air. his tongue darts out to wet his lips before he's on you, surging forward and capturing one of the hardened buds in his mouth.
you yelp softly at the sudden action, the sound melting into a moan as you arch into him, hands grasping at his hair to hold him to you.
"fuck, deanā" you gasp, head falling back as his tongue swirls around your sensitive skin, his hand coming up to cup your breast that his mouth isn't currently ravishing. after he's satisfied with the job he's done, he switches, bringing his mouth to your other breast, his hand moving to cup and grope the one his mouth had just been working at, pinching your nipple between his thumb and forefinger.
when you whimper his name as he bites at your bud, he pulls himself away from your chest with a pop, lips slick and eyes blown as he looks down at you. you stare up at him, eyes wide and lips parted as you pant, just taking in the sight of him, so worked up over you.
"fuck," he groans, jaw clenching as his eyes greedily rake over your flushed features, his spit-slick bottom lip caught between his teeth. your hooded eyes follow the movement, your faces close enough that you can feel his breath on your heated skin, which sends a shiver up your spine.
you've seen dean shirtless many timesāpatching him up, or when motel rooms got too hot, but this was different. now, his toned chest was heaving with heavy breaths, his tan skin flushed with desire just for you.
you're staring, lips parted as you pant heavily, your eyes greedily raking over every inch of skin he's offering to you. your hands twitch to reach out, to feel every ridge, dip and curve of his body, and you're too far gone to deny yourself.
you rush forward, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and attaching your mouth to his neck. your lips trail up his neck, sucking at a spot under his jaw that has him groaning your name in a way that makes your knees weak. you're sure you would've collapsed by now if dean's arms weren't wrapped so tightly around your waist you could feel his biceps flex against your skin as your mouth ravished his neck and up to his jaw.
you're craning your neck to reach his skin, and you're body feels so hot you're worried that it's going to burst into flames if you don't do something about it. the chorus of more, more, more chants in your head, fueling your trembling legs as the walk forward, walking dean backwards until the backs of his knees hit the edge of the bed.
he falls to sit on the bed with a grunt, his grip never loosening around you as you follow him, crawling into his lap eagerly, moaning into his neck when his bare chest presses against yours. you arch against him as you bite and suck on his neck, lips trailing down to nip at his collarbone, leaving a path of spit behind you.
"shitāneed t'feel you, baby," dean rasps, his hands moving to grip your hips tightly, grinding you down onto him. you whimper in agreement, reluctantly pulling away from his salty skin, licking your lips to savor the taste of him.
you sit yourself up on your knees in his lap, cupping his face in your hands as you tilt his head back to look up at you, your thumb tugging at his bottom lip just as he did to you before. just the sight of him sends a wave of aching desire between your legs, your panties growing wetter by the second.
dean looks absolutely wrecked. his plush lips are parted and spit-slick, swollen from your bruising kisses, the white of his teeth peeking through the brightened pink as he pants heavily. his hooded eyes are so dark, the mossy green almost completely gone as he stares up at you with such reverence it makes your pounding heart stutter in your chest.
his rough hand squeezing your hips brings your attention back to the moment as he turns his head into your touch, lips ghosting your palm, his eyes staying locked on yours.
"c'mon, sweetheart," dean groans, his voice almost breathless as he squeezes your hip again, the action almost pleading. "can't take this anymore, just need you, need t'feel that pretty pussy 'round me."
his words make you moan softly, but they snap you into action. you scramble off his lap, stepping back from the cage of his legs as you hook your fingers in the waistband of your sleep shorts, bending over towards him as you tug them down, shimmying them over your hips and thighs until they fall to the floor.
dean's eyes hungrily watch your every movement, jaw clenching tightly and a low groan escaping his lips as the delicate red lace of your panties is exposed to him.
"son of a bitch," he mutters, his voice a breathless whisper so quiet you almost miss it.
feeling spurred on by his words, you step out of your shorts, leaving them on the floor as you stand between his legs again and start to sink down, your mouth watering at the thought of tasting him. but his arm shoots out to grab yours, stopping you from dropping to your knees with a grip so tight you think it might leave bruises. your pussy clenches at the thought, the idea of looking in the mirror and seeing the mark of him on your skin, as a reminder of this chance you may never have again, nearly making your eyes roll back.
"no, no," dean practically snarls, straightening you up as his hands go to the waistband of your panties, ripping them from your body with a ferocity that makes you gasp. "next time baby, i promise, i'll let you use your fuckin' gorgeous mouth on me, but right now i need to fuck that pretty pussy until you can't even think anything but my name."
a breath leaves your lungs in a shaky gasp, the filthiness of his words making your head spin.
"okayā" is all you can manage, your voice shaking as he tugs you back into his lap, groaning when he feels your bare, hot core against his still clothed and straining cock. he doesn't hold the position long though, because in a blink of an eye, he has you flat on your back, breasts heaving as you stare up at him, your eyes wide and needy.
you part your lips to comment something about how he still has pants on, but the words catch in your throat as a moan when his fingers suddenly swipe through your weeping heat. you arch your back against the mattress, trying to push yourself up against his fingers as they circle your throbbing clit, sending sparks of pleasure behind your eyes.
"that's it, that's my girlā fuck, you're so fuckin' pretty," dean praises, leaning over you to suck one of your peaked nipples into heated mouth.
his words make you whimper, and your hips buck up desperately into his hand, chasing the burning pleasure he's making you feel. "shit, dean, please, pleaseā"
your whines are cut off into a moan when he plunges the same fingers that had been working your aching bud into your sopping cunt, your walls instantly tightening around his digits.
"i know, pretty girl, i know," he croons, his raspy voice muffled against the heated skin of your chest. his plush lips trailing up to your neck, his stubble scratching at your sensitive skin as he noses under your ear, teeth tugging gently at your earlobe. "jus' give me one before i fuck you, yeah? wanna feel you come around my fingers before i fuck you stupid on my cock."
you whimper in response, tossing your head back against the mattress with a moan as he drives his fingers into your heat again and again, curling them just right to hit that gummy spot deep within you that makes your toes curl.
"oh god, oh godā" you babble, eyes squeezing shut as you feel the band in your stomach tightening, pulling you closer and closer to the edge. "dean, close, m'so closeā"
your words only encourage him, his teeth tugging at your ear once more before he trails them up to your jaw, resting his forehead against your cheek. he presses his lips to the burning skin there as his thumb moves to circle your clit, making you cry out under him, your hands flaying to his shoulders, nails digging into the taut skin as you buck against his hand.
"yeah? y'gonna cum, baby? gonna soak my fingers like the good girl you are?" dean coos, lips moving against your cheek, letting his teeth graze your skin. "c'mon, pretty girl, cum on my fingers so this perfect fucking pussy can take me like she needs to."
you fly over the edge with a cry of his name, eyes rolling back and spine arching as your orgasm crashes over you, stealing the air from your lungs. your legs tremble around him, and you can feel his smug smirk against your cheek, your mind too fuzzy to comprehend the words he mumbles against your skin.
his fingers don't stop, working your soaked pussy until your whining, squirming away from his touch as your eyes flutter open, mouth slack as you gasp for breath. your eyes flick up to dean as he moves his face to hover over yours, and his hand has moved but he's not saying anything, and he's just staring at you, and the reverence in his eyes makes you want to shrink, but there's nowhere for you to go.
"dean," you whisper, your voice still shaking and barely audible as your eyes search his, trying to read his expression. he still doesn't say anything, just watching you with his devastatingly beautiful eyes and making you feel like he's worshipping you with his gaze. "what's wrong? do-do you want to stopā"
"do you know," dean mumbles your name, cutting you off effectively. "how fucking beautiful you are?"
the unexpected compliment makes your breath hitch, your heart pounding so loudly in your chest you're sure he can hear it. all you can do is stare up at him, and he's so close you can count every freckle on his impossibly perfect face, the moment so intimate it makes your heart clench in your chest.
"you drive me goddamn crazy," he continues, pushing himself up to stand between your legs that hang off the edge of the bed. his hands drift down to the waistband of his pants, pushing them and his boxers down in one swift movement, his eyes never leaving yours as he kicks them away. "you make me forget everything, y'know that? you make me forget about this damn mark on my arm, you're in my head and then suddenly, all the mark wants is you."
your eyes drift down to between his legs, your mouth watering as you see his cock, hard and heavy in front of you, already red and leaking precum. when you continue to stare, dean leans over you again, grasping your chin in his hand, forcing you to meet his eyes.
"i mean, fuck, just look at you, sweetheart," he breathes, his gaze raking over you, lingering on your heaving breasts before flicking back up to meet your eyes. "look so fucking gorgeous...all fucked out 'n stupid just from my fingers."
you only whimper in response, the sound breathless and soft as your spinning head tries to process his words. "please, dean," you rasp, your pleading eyes searching his, lifting your hips up to try and feel hi until he groans softly, eyes fluttering. "need you, please, fuck me.."
he stares at you for another moment, his jaw ticking and you can feel his cock twitch against your inner thigh. he finally moves again, reaching out and grabbing a pillow, lifting your hips and placing it under you. when he decides you're properly situated, he settles between your spread thighs, grasping one tightly in one hand while the other pumps himself slowly. he leans over you, guiding himself to your weeping entrance as your hands fly to his shoulders, grasping at the hard muscles.
he suddenly stops just before his leaking head brushed your folds, the hand on your thigh tightening as his eyes flick up to yours. "condom?" he asks, his voice strained as he forces himself to hold back.
you shake your head, biting your lip as you watch the way his pupils dilate, the sight making your aching core clench around nothing. "wanna feel you, all of you."
"fuck," he groans, his eyes slipping shut as he pumps himself faster, lining up with your aching pussy again. "baby, you're gonna be the death 'f me."
you just hum in response, your eyes glued to where he rubs his red, swollen tip through your puffy folds. with one more squeeze of your thigh, he pushes in, punching harmonic moans out of both of you. your back arches, eyes rolling back as your tight walls stretch around him, the pleasurable burn making your nails dig into his skin.
dean watches you, eyes wide and blown so dark with desire he looks almost crazed, staying still as he lets you adjust to the feeling of him inside you. "that's it, look at you, takin' me so well," he praises, rolling his hips gently to see your reaction.
"ohh shit," you moan, a gasping whimper catching in your throat when he rolls his hips again. he grasps your hips with both hands as leans over you, his bare chest pressing against yours. he stays like that, keeping still longer than he did before, and it doesn't take long until your squirming under him, whimpering softly as you grasp at his shoulders. "move, dean, pleaseā"
as soon as the plea leaves your swollen lips, his hips snap harshly against yours, making you cry out, your eyes flying open to meet his. your mouth goes slack, lips parted in a silent scream and your brow furrowing as he pistons his hips into you, changing angles slightly until he hits that gummy spot deep in you that makes you cry out his name.
"yeah, yeah, i know, pretty girl, that's it right there, huh?" dean's voice is strained, the words a groan against your lips as he licks into your slack mouth, making you mewl under him, the sound only encouraging him to go faster. "squeezin' me so tight, shit, perfect fucking pussy was made for me, fuckā"
he pounds into you mercilessly, your tight walls tightening around his cock, sucking him in as his tip hits your cervix, making stars flash in your eyes. you swear you can feel him everywhere. his hot breath against your parted lips, calloused hands gripping your thighs and sliding up to your chest to pinch and tweak at your hardened buds, his cock making you so full you swear you can feel him in your throat.
you can feel your release creeping up on you, your hands slipping down to grip his biceps, moaning when the muscles flex under your touch. dean seems to sense that you're getting close, and he moves one hand from your chest, trailing his fingers down your torso until he reaches your clit, rubbing tight circles on the aching bud.
the sudden overwhelming pleasure makes you cry out, eyes rolling back as you claw at his skin, broken mewls and gasps leaving your lips. "dean-!"
"yeah, fuck, beautiful, say my name," he groans, dropping his head to your neck, his hips never faltering their bruising pace. "want you scream it when you cum around my cock."
"oh shit," you gasp, hands flying to his back, nails dragging down his skin as you feel yourself getting dangerously close to the edge. "close, shit, m'close deanā"
"yeah, i know, baby, can feel you squeezing me." his fingers speed up on your throbbing clit, and with just the smallest bit of added pressure, the band in you snaps. hard.
you think you scream, but your brain shuts off as your orgasm crashes through you, the pleasure mind-numbing and paralyzing. dean continues to fuck you through it, his hips faltering as he feels your walls clamp down on him with your release.
"fuck, that's it. good girl, good fucking girl," he grunts your name into your neck, his voice strained as you feel him twitch in you, his thrusts just extending your orgasm and melting into another one. "you don't know how fucking long 've wanted this. your perfect fucking pussy gripping me so tight, fuckā you were made for me, fucking made for my cock, never gonna let you go after this, ngh, you're mine now, sweetheart. all fucking mine."
he continues to babble as his hips falter, lifting his head from your neck to crash his lips to yours, devouring your mouth with his teeth and tongue.
"gonna cum in your tight fuckin' pussy, gonna fill you up, make you feel me for days." you whimper into his mouth, the two of you more so just panting into each other's mouths rather than kissing.
"please, dean, need it, need you so bad," you moan, feeling that band tighten once more. "wanna feel you, please, pleaseā"
"oh fuck, gonna cum," he gasps your name into your mouth, his grip on your hips tightening, and somewhere in the back of your fucked out brain you register that there are definitely going to be bruises there tomorrow. "fuck, m'gonna cumā"
he thrusts once, twice, burying his face in your neck and then his hips still, pressing his cock as deep into you as he can get as he twitches, groaning loudly as he spills into you, his release hot and heavenly in your tight walls. the feelings sends you over the edge again, a weak, broken cry leaving you as your vision practically goes white with pleasure.
you stay like that, trembling and panting softly under him, your eyes hooded and hazy, your shaking hands slipping from his shoulders and falling to his biceps weakly. for a long moment, dean doesn't move, just breathing heavily into the crook of your neck, his lips brushing your sensitive skin with every breath.
eventually, he shifts his hips, moving to pull out, and the movement makes you whimper from the oversensitivity. instantly, dean pulls back from your neck, his brow furrowed as he looks down at you, his gaze filled with concern.
"shit, did i hurt you?" he asks, and you can hear the panic creeping into his tone. "i'm so sorry sweetheart, i didn't mean toā"
you cut him off with a shake of your head, forcing your eyes to focus as you look up at him, a weak, fucked-out smile forming on your lips. "you didn't hurt me, dean," you assure him, your voice raspy. "i'm fine, just sensitive."
"oh okay," he says, nodding and lets out a breath as if he'd been holding it.
he takes another moment, eyes raking over your face again, and he looks like hes't going to say something, but he bites his lip, pushing down whatever it is. slowly, he lifts himself on his arms, pushing up so he's almost sitting, squeezing your thigh comfortingly as he pulls out. you wince slightly at the movement, shivering when you feel his release dripping from your spent cunt.
he pulls away from you completely, standing up and walking over to the corner of his room and your stomach sinks as you watch him rifle through his stuff. you knew this was coming, the part where he awkwardly mumbled a thank you and you take his rejection without a word, making the walk of shame back to your own room, and you never speak of this again.
you can feel the familiar burn of tears forming behind your eyelids as you push yourself up, placing your feet on the ground. you don't look up at him as you lean over, grabbing your discarded shirt from the floor. you bite your lip anxiously as you stand up from the bed, intending to put your shirt on only to stumble and sway as your weak legs shake under you.
"woah, woahā" dean's arm comes around your waist, catching you before you can fall and you lean against him without really meaning to sighing at the warmth of his chest. "where do you think you're goin'?"
he turns you in his arms so your chest to chest with him, and you keep your eyes glued to his anti-posession tattoo, not quite ready to look him in the eyes and see the rejection. "i'll just get dressed and go back to my roomā"
"hey, what? no," he interrupts, confusion lacing his words. his hand moves to cup your chin, tilting your head up until you have no choice but to look into his eyes. his brow is furrowed, and you have the sudden need to reach up and smooth the crease with your fingers. "why would you do that?"
your lips part to speak, but no words come out as the intense emotions in his eyes steal your breath.
dean says your name in a low voice, his gaze roaming over your face as his thumb stroked your cheek gently. "did you think i was gonna kick you out?"
"i...i didn't think you'd want me to stay," you admit in a breathless voice, eyes wide as you stare up at him.
he doesn't say anything for a moment, just gazing down at you as his hand raises to brush some of your hair away from your face, and if hekeeps looking at you like that you think you might catch on fire. "i meant what i said."
the words are so simple, so blunt that you don't know what he's referring to. "what are you talking about?" you ask, slightly breathless as your brow furrows in confusion.
"what i said, earlier, i meant it," dean repeats, the hand that's not cupping your chin raising to your forehead, his thumb stroking at the crease between your brows, the tenderness making your breath hitch. "i've wanted you, wanted this for so long, sweetheart."
his words stop your heart, and you look up at him with wide, shocked eyes. you can feel your pulse pounding in your chest, your shirt in your hand falling to the floor as your lips part in shock. "you have?"
"yeah," he mutters your name, both of his hands moving to cup your face now, and you subconsciously lean into his touch, making him smile softly. "i have. i'm honestly surprised you didn't notice before. even cas said i was bein' obvious."
your head reels from his confession, the words processing in your still slightly hazy mind. "you...what?" you ask, still staring up at him with wide eyes.
"i mean, hell, how could i not want you?" dean chuckles, almost to himself as he gazes down at you. "you're smart, 'nd funny, and you could kick my ass any day of the week. not to mention you're so fucking beautiful it makes me weak."
"you...you really mean that?" you ask, brow furrowing in doubt. "you're not fucking with me?"
he shakes his head, smiling down at you as his thumbs continue to caress your cheeks affectionately. "you, this...it's all ive wanted for a long time."
"i..." you start, unsure of what to say as you search his expression for any hint of him lying. when you find none, a smile matching his spreads across your lips, and you lean into his touch, bringing a hand up to rest over his. "ive wanted this too. for a while, actually."
dean grins at youāa real, wide, boyish grin that lights up his ethereal features, making your heart stutter in your chest. "i guess we're both idiots then."
"i guess we are..." you agree, pushing up on your tip toes to ghost your lips over his. you hover there, just breathing him in, eyes flicking between his before you close the gap, pressing your lips softly to his.
its nothing like the kisses you shared before. in fact, it's really just the gentle press of your lips to his, savoring the way his smile feels against you, and you suddenly don't know how you've lived your whole life without kissing dean winchester like this. you certainly don't think you can live without it now that you've experienced it.
after a few savored moments, you pull away, smile staying on your lips as your eyes flutter open. your hand slides along his arm, and you feel him tense when your fingers brush over the mark.
"i trust you, dean," you whisper, curling your fingers over the raised skin, squeezing his forearm lightly. "i know you would never hurt me, and i need you to know that im not going to leave."
"but-" he starts, but you cut him off by raising your free hand to press a finger to his lips.
"no buts," you counter, shifting your hand to cup his cheek, smiling lovingly at him. "just because you think you're dammed doesn't mean you actually are. because you aren't. no matter what you think of yourself, it will never change the fact that you, dean winchester, are the good man. the best man ive ever known, and ill be damned if i let you think any less than that."
"sweetheart..."
"stop. don't fight me on thisā"
"i wasn't gonna fight youā"
"yes you were, i could see itā"
he says your name, low and serious, but there's still a soft smile on his face. "you're too damn good for me."
"what did i just sayā"
"just let me say this, will you?" he says, giving you a look that makes you shut your mouth, eyes locked on his. he sighs, just staring at you for a moment before he speaks again, his voice softer than you've ever heard it. "youre too good for me, i know that. you're too smart, too kind, just too damn good. but damnit, i want to be selfish so bad and keep you for myself."
you just smile at him, eyes slipping shut as you lean up again to kiss him a little deeper than the one before, but still soft nonetheless. "you have me, dean," you whisper against his lips, your eyes still closed. "you've always had me."
"i don't want to hurt you," he mumbles, and you can feel his furrowed brow as he leans his forehead against yours.
"you won't hurt me."
"you don't know thatā"
"yes, i do." your tone is sharp, and it makes his eyes snap open to meet yours again. at this proximity, you can see the specks of gold that flicker in the deep emerald that makes your heart skip a beat. "we'll figure this out, dean. we'll get through this and get that damn mark off you. we'll figure this out, together."
dean smiles at that, a soft, relieved curve of his lips that makes the corners of his eyes crease. he looks at you with so much emotion and affection that you want to just crumble into him and never let him go, hide him away from the world so that it can't hurt him more than it has. "together," he repeats, his voice a hushed whisper.
you can tell that he believes you, and the thought makes pride swell in your chest. you may not know much about your fucked up lives at the moment, but the one thing you know for sure is that you were never going to let dean go through it alone. ever.
a/n, this ended up being way longer than i intended, but oh well. anyways, i can't get moc!dean out of my head, so here we are... and happy late new years!
ps, the end was written at 3 in the morning (again) so i sincerely apologize if the ending is rushed
#dean winchester x you#dean winchester smut#dean winchester fluff#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester drabble#jensen ackles#supernatural#dean winchester angst#dean winchester x reader angst#mark of cain#dean winchester#moc!dean#spn#demon!dean
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