#severus is such an ugly name and even worse person

[alwayshinny]

James Sirius and Albus Severus Potter

[rickmandowneyjr]

Cuts to Cope

Angst, fluff Pairing: Severus Snape and Student!Reader (platonic) Warning: talk of self-harm, mentions of character's death Word Count: 2348 A/N: This is a little piece I wrote a while ago but didn't know if I should post or not. After re-doing certain bits, I decided to upload it. Hope it's not too difficult to read. As always, the ending is a little abrupt and not too detailed, leaving it sort of up to y'all as well :) Sorry if there are any typos (I only ever get the time to write when it's quite late nowadays)

Yet another day at Hogwarts - waking up at 6:30 am, showering, getting dressed in your robes, and heading to breakfast. Wishing everyone you passed a good morning, wearing your signature smile as you did.

You were a 7th year, one of the few returning ones after last year's incident with Cedric Diggory. He'd been your best friend, or at least that's what people thought. Cedric Diggory and you had been dating for the last 7 months before his death. You didn't want anyone knowing because being star students meant eyes prying into every aspect of your relationship.

People praised you, a model student and now, prefect, who set an example. An example of how to be strong and cope no matter what life threw at you. Little did they know, you harboured a little secret. A dark, horrifying, and disturbing secret that would never let anyone look at you the same way if they ever found out.

Your first class for the day was Potions. You were a brilliant student, especially at Potions, yet Snape still had something against you. You didn't take it personally, though; he wasn't really fond of anyone. You walked into class, taking your regular seat at the front. Snape walked into class a little while later, slamming the door behind him, commanding everyone's attention.

"Turn to page 420," he drawled. You opened the book to find the recipe for Amortentia. Your heart felt a tug at the name of the love potion, never having been able to find out the answers with Cedric.

Snape's deep voice brought your focus back to class as he said, "Since it takes a week to brew, I've already completed most of the process. All you need to do is the last day's work," making the class sigh with relief. "However," he continued, "The last day of brewing is crucial and not easy. So, I expect your attention to be fully on the task at hand."

You began brewing the potion, following the steps perfectly. Snape sat down to grade papers as the class worked. He looked at you and said, "Ms. [L/N], roll up your sleeves while you work. I'd hate for there to be mishaps in my class because of one student's carelessness."

You hesitated, but then did as asked. You weren't the best at wandless magic but had made sure to perfect this spell solely for such instances. As you rolled your sleeves, you subtly waved your hand over your forearms, mumbling, "Illusiont," and casting the disillusionment charm.

You saw Snape narrow his eyes at you and panicked for a second before you saw him shake his head and return to grading. Breathing a sigh of relief, you returned to the task at hand and continued brewing.

After a while, you'd finished, and were the first one to have done so. Snape walked over to your desk and took a whiff of the potion, raising an eyebrow before giving you a single nod of approval, letting you know that it was perfect. Once everyone was done, he walked around, starting at the back, and asked everyone to announce what they smelled. You hadn't smelled your Amortentia yet and hadn't planned on doing so either, feeling quite relieved when Snape hadn't asked that question earlier.

Your heart rate quickened as you began to worry about how your body and mind would react to smelling it. You couldn't do it last year, since the Triwizard tournament had led to a bunch of classes being cancelled. As you thought about how excited you had been at the prospect of sharing the experience with Cedric, Snape's voice pulled you back to your potions class.

"Ms. [L/N]."

"Yes, sir?"

He rolled his eyes in annoyance. "What. Do. You. Smell," he spoke, irritation evident in every word.

You swallowed hard as you leaned forward to inhale the scent. Your pupils dilated, your heartbeat quickened and your knees threatened to give out at the all-too-familiar fragrance. Your throat went dry as you stopped the tears from forming.

"Well? We haven't got all day, class is to be dismissed soon." He raised an eyebrow at you, asking you to hurry up since you were the last one.

With every ounce of energy, you calmed yourself and stopped your voice from wavering. "Old books, butterscotch and... vanilla," you sighed. Your breathing was erratic and you knew you needed to get out of class and get to the abandoned girls' washroom.

As if on cue, the bell rang, dismissing the class. Snape gave you an odd look and was about to ask you what was wrong but you had already gathered your belongings and were marching out the door. He decided to follow you since he'd never seen you act like that before and was wondering what had happened to you all of a sudden.

You made your way up the stairs, hurrying before you had a breakdown in the middle of the hallway. As you reached the washroom, you started rummaging through your bag since the hallway was empty. You took the small blade that you carried around out, pushing the door to the bathroom open.

Snape's POV

I followed her out of the classroom. Though not my favourite, [Y/N] was an incredible witch and this wasn't normal behaviour for her. She'd marched out before I had even dismissed class which concerned me even more, given her usually 'perfect' behaviour. She paced through the hallways and up the stairs so fast that I could've sworn she was moving around faster than I did on a normal basis. There was an urgency in her stride and I don't know why, but it concerned me.

She finally turned into the hallway leading to the girls' washroom on the third floor, which was odd. No one used this, as far as I was aware. I was a little embarrassed, considering I'd just followed a young girl to a washroom. In an isolated area, at that. I swear I never would've imagined myself going even further and following her in, but what I'd seen had shocked and concerned me enough to do just that.

End of Snape's POV

As you entered the bathroom, you had missed Snape, whose eyes were wide with shock. He couldn't believe what he'd seen. [Y/N] [L/N], the golden girl of Hogwarts, had just walked into an abandoned washroom after pulling out a blade from her bag. Not wanting to jump to any conclusions, he rushed in, wanting to confirm what his eyes had just seen.

As you were about to enter a stall, the door to the bathroom, swung open, making you jump. You hid the blade by making a fist, unintentionally cutting into your palm. You winced at the unexpected pain but didn't let it show.

You turned to face Professor Snape, and he was eyeing your hand. 'There's no way he saw it, is there?' you thought.

"Ms. [L/N], care to show me your hands?"

You panicked. He knew. You tried to divert his attention. "Sir, this is the girls' washroom."

"I'm aware," he stated. "Now... Hands," he said as he glared at you, letting you know that he wouldn't fall for any attempts to change the subject.

You sighed and opened your hands, and saw his gaze soften. He walked to you taking your hand in his as he gently pulled the razor out. You winced as it came out, knowing this would impair you for the rest of your classes.

"What were you thinking?!" He scolded, startling you. He reached for your arm, rolling up your sleeves once again and muttered, "Finite."

The scars on your arms started showing up and you couldn't do anything but look away, your eyes resting anywhere but his gaze.

"So that was the Disillusionment Charm I heard you use, earlier."

You stayed silent, still refusing to meet his eyes. Of all the professors, it had to be him. Sure, he wasn't fond of you, but you had immense respect for the man, and to let him see you in this light... it took every bit of you to not lose your composure.

"Look at me," he said.

You turned to face him. His usually cold eyes showed too much concern and the uncharacteristic response from the potions master was proving to be a lot to handle. Tears stung your eyes as he stared at you.

"Why?" He asked, his voice so genuine that you couldn't help but let your emotions spill, creating a mess that you couldn't be bothered to care about anymore.

"I can't do this anymore," you sniffled. "I don't want to. He was everything to me and it just hurts so much."

"Who?"

"Cedric."

"Ah, yes. I'm aware you and Mr. Diggory were best friends. I'm sorry, [Y/N]."

"No," you said, finally being able to talk to someone about it. "He was my boyfriend. And... I never got to tell him I loved him... because I wasn't sure. Today just made it worse when I smelled him in my Amortentia. It confirmed that I did and I never got to say it." You were sobbing now, not caring what you looked like, what a mess you probably were, or what Snape was thinking of you and your confession.

You felt him awkwardly wrap his arms around you as he pulled your head to his chest. Your cries got louder and your wails of agony echoed in the empty washroom as your hands clutched the fabric of his robes. The feeling of someone comforting you was overwhelming. You'd always had to keep up this image of a perfect student, reliable friend, someone who could never have such horrifying tendencies.

Even then, as you cried out loud, your instinct made you bury your face in his chest, muffling the 'ugly' sobs. Snape's heart broke as your thoughts flooded his mind. As you struggled to breathe, he turned your head slightly, making you audible again. He didn't hush you; just stroked your hair as your tears soaked his robes.

It took a while, but you finally calmed down, your sobs reducing to soft whimpers before they died out entirely. Your throat was sore, and lips, chapped from all the crying. Your eyes were red and puffy, and the reality of the situation finally came crashing down on you.

Your secret was out. More than one, at that. One of the professors knew, and the strictest one too. You had just spent Merlin knows how long crying into his chest, which was now soaked with your tears.

"I'm sorry," you mumbled, your voice, hoarse. "Your robes are all wet now," you said, trying to move away.

"That's the least of my worries right now," he said, keeping your head in place as he continued, "I understand what you're going through. Better than you'd know." It sounded like it was painful for him to talk about it, the tone of his voice giving the vulnerability away. "But this is not the way to deal with it," he said as rubbed your back.

"Does it go away?"

"I'll be honest," he sighed. "It does get lesser with time if you allow yourself to heal. However, it never goes away entirely. A part of you will always love and miss him. I'm sorry," he said.

"No, I'm glad. I don't want to forget him. Or my love for him. Cedric Diggory was and will always be - my first love."

You finally pulled away from his chest and looked him in the eyes as he gave you a gentle smile. You managed to muster a somber one and sighed.

"Do any of your friends know?"

"Merlin, no!"

"Why not? They're your friends. They could-"

"I can't have this getting out. Everyone will-"

"Who cares what people think?" He raised his voice. It was silent for a while before he sighed and spoke again.

"[Y/N], I want you to promise me something."

You knew what was coming. You gulped and nodded softly.

"I want you to promise me that you'll stop this. Cedric wouldn't want this for you."

"I know, and I've tried before. It's not that simple-"

"I know," he said, cutting you off. "Which is why, the next time you get the urge to do this, you'll come to me. No matter what the situation might be."

You were surprised at his words. It was incredibly nice of him to offer this to you, and you nodded, accepting his generosity.

"Also," he continued, "Please stop going to such great lengths to please others and worrying about what others think. It's not healthy."

"But-"

"But nothing. Your health is suffering and you can't even bring yourself to tell anyone because you're so busy keeping up this little charade of 'everything is fine'."

You stayed silent. There was truth in his words and you couldn't refute his accusations. You just looked up at him, once again, finding the uncharacteristic concerned look meeting your gaze. Nodding softly, you agreed. How could you not when someone had shown you such consideration and compassion?

A small smile graced his usually stoic face as he helped you up, and you both made your way out of the bathroom. He escorted you back to your dormitories, ensuring you were alright before the two of you parted ways.

The rest of the school year passed and Snape stayed true to his word, and you to yours. Every time you felt the urge to hurt yourself to relieve the pain, you'd find Snape. He was patient and helped you every step of the way. Slowly, but surely, you were able to overcome your urges and also found yourself living for yourself, rather than up to others' expectations.

By the time you graduated, you had overcome the habit and thanked Snape in your graduation speech, never giving away the details as to why. A lot of people had assumed there was something between the two of you, especially since you went to meet him all through the school year, but you didn't let it bother you, because... Who cares what people think, right?

-

P.S. - Sorry I've been a little slow with the writing. My college assignments have started rolling in and I'm currently swamped. Also, I'm working on a little something (announcing it in 2-3 days so make sure to check in lol). Rest assured, I'm slowly and steadily making my way through requests. Thank you for understanding <3

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

A detailed list of shit the Marauders reveal when they down Veritaserum-spiked drinks (yes, it is all Sirius’ fault)

Sirius 1. The true horrors his family have inflicted on him

RESULT: James and Remus get so angry they turn slightly murderous, Mcgonogall and Dumbledore are informed, Mcgonogall adopts Sirius and Regulus for the time being while James arranges things with his parents (from then on, “Minnie” sounds more like “Mom”, so Mcgonogall lets him call her that. Even in class).

2. His love for Remus

RESULT: Nothing. He and Remus have been together since they were thirteen. There’s just a lot of blushing and giggling and things that James would rather have never seen.

3. How much he cares about Regulus

RESULT: Regulus starts to sit with the Marauders at lunch. Sirius will randomly grab his hand while they’re walking around. There’s a lot more affection and sweetness between the two of them now.

4. How much he fucking adores James (“I think you’re my soulmate, Jamie, you know that? Not like the lovey-dovey romancey kind, because yuck and also Remus Lupin exists, Jamie, and have you seen him, but Jamie, I - fuck, I just love you so much -” and James just blushes and beams super wide)

RESULT: James and Sirius start to refer to each other as “soulmate” as well as “best friend” and “brother”, including to casual strangers. To assure Remus of how much he loves him though, Sirius makes sure to call Remus “the love of my life” and “my only one” and “the moon to my stars” and “Moony, my love” and other mushy-gushy bullshit we don’t have time for right now.

5. How he thinks he’s a terrible person in every sense of the word

RESULT: Remus, James, and Peter start to make a list of everything they love about him in a notebook. Every time someone, anyone, says something they like about Sirius, the Marauders force them to write it down and sign their name. When the notebook is full, they wrap it up and give it to him for Christmas. He’s already on the verge of tears, and then they show him the new one they got a week ago that’s already half full, and he starts bawling so hard he can’t breathe.

Remus

1. All of his anger at the world

RESULT: Severus may or may not have started an impromptu class strike with every Hogwarts student who wasn’t a Death Eater in support of werewolf rights. James and Sirius may or may not have barricaded the school from the Ministry officials who came to shut it down. Peter, Lily, and Regulus may or may not have collected petitions from wizards and witches all over the world in support of werewolf rights. And the Ministry definitely changed the laws.

2. Just how much he loves Sirius even if he’s constantly afraid to show it

RESULT: Sirius and Remus eloped in sixth year without telling anyone. When James finds out he loses his shit at not being there to be their best man. Sirius starts responding to all of the people who ask him out with “Sorry, I’m a married man” and signs all of his school assignments Sirius Lupin. It drives Mcgonogall nuts. Remus sneaks out for months to arrange them a makeshift wedding on the grounds. This involves decorating trees and making them all flowercrowns and creating veils and dresses for both of them. Sirius cries when he sees it. They get married at midnight, with Severus officiating and James and Regulus standing as Sirius’ groomspeople and Lily and Peter as Remus’. Dumbledore and Mcgonogall are their witnesses. It’s gay and it’s beautiful.

3. How much he hates himself

RESULT: They all work on complimenting him more. Though they assure him they love his scars and his body exactly as they are, Sirius and Lily offer to teach Remus how to do makeup to cover them up. Peter learns how to keep his hands steady so he can paint Remus’ nails because he knows it makes him feel beautiful. Regulus learns the best Muggle clothing shops from Amir and James smuggles Remus out to shop there and buys him whatever he wants. Severus keeps creating spells and potions and researching old texts until he finds a way to cure lycanthropy.

4. How he’s sort of casually suicidal because he just keeps asking himself what there is to live for

RESULT: They clear their dorm of anything he can hurt himself with. They’re extra protective leading up to, during, and following the full moon. And  they remind him every day that they love him. Every day.

5. How ugly he thinks he is and how beautiful he thinks Sirius is

RESULT: This is really up to Sirius to fix. It’s a lot of kissing Remus’ scars and casually referring to him as beautiful (“How are you today, beautiful?”). And Sirius makes Remus mixtapes. Hundreds of songs reminding him how beautiful he is in Sirius’ eyes. It doesn’t work. Remus still doesn’t think he’s beautiful. But he knows Sirius thinks he is, and for now, that is going to have to be enough.

6. How he doesn’t think he deserves to be a Marauder or have Sirius’ love

RESULT: They try to include him more. They make sure to tell him how brilliant his plans and ideas are. They know that when it comes to his self-esteem, there’s not much they can do. But they try. They try so, so hard.

7. His gigantic inferiority complex

RESULT: You’d think it would be something sweet, but they just yell at him any time he makes a self-deprecating comment. Sometimes Sirius angry-kisses him. Somehow this works. (They also force him to have tea therapy with Mcgonogall.)

James

1. How guilty he feels for not having to go through all the shit his friends do

RESULT: Well, for awhile they try to stop telling him about their problems, but that only makes it worse. So they settle for buying him thank you presents, except they’re all things that only the giver likes. He asks what the fuck he’s supposed to do with that Queen record Sirius wanted, sixteen bars of Remus’ favorite chocolate, and that glittery hair bow Peter wanted. They smile and tell him that they know helping them makes him feel better and that his wealth makes him feel like shit, so they’ve resolved to drain his pockets by buying gifts for themselves. James laughs so hard he can’t breathe as they all tackle him onto his bed and cuddle him for hours. (They buy him real thank you presents too. Just, y’know, all with James’ own money.)

2. His hurt feelings at Lily’s constant rejections

RESULT: Lily blurts that she hates how he flirts with her but she doesn’t hate him, she actually quite loves him really, and James’ eyes go squinty with hurt and then widen with stars and they just kind of stare at each other and blush in stunned silence until Severus blurts, “Just kiss already, why don’t you?” And they both whip towards him and he turns crimson. (This is where Sirius starts laughing.)

3. How he actually thinks Lily and Severus are really good for each other

RESULT: In response to Severus’ remark, James confesses to having not made an actual move because he truly believes that Lily and Severus are better for each other than he could be for either of them. Lily smiles slightly and Severus’ mouth drops open as he gasps, “Either of us?” James’ face burns. (This is where Remus loses it.)

4. How he doesn’t actually hate Severus, he just hates how much he wants to kiss his stupid perfect mouth

RESULT: James then fucks up further by spilling out his guts about how much he wants to kiss Severus. Severus’ eyes get so wide they worry they might pop out of his head. He reaches out and tugs James by the tie into a filthy kiss. Lily squeaks. James faints. Severus panics. (This is where Peter collapses on the floor next to Sirius and Remus in uncontrollable laughter.)

5. How he misses pranking but feels like he’s more hated for it than he is revered

RESULT: Sirius, Remus, and Peter help him come up with pranks that are fun but don’t hurt or inconvenience people too much. Severus helps add safeguards, Regulus finds targets for them, and Lily encourages them and tells James over and over that she enjoys a good bit of fun.

Lily: It should involve glitter.

James: That doesn’t even make sense -

Sirius: Shut the fuck up James, we’re using glitter.

6. How much he wants to be a good person but feels like his friends are so much better than him

RESULT: They tell him what a good friend he is as often as they can. They try to remind him of all the things he does for them and how they’d be nothing without him. He doesn’t quite believe it, but it’s still nice.

7. How he feels like he’s not doing enough to help the people around him

RESULT: They make written lists of the things he’s done for them and tape them to the bathroom mirror. (Like any melodramatic teenager, James’ breakdowns take place while gripping the sink and staring in the mirror while questioning your every life decision.) They sometimes lock him in there until he reads the whole list out loud. (When they let him out Sirius hugs him so hard he struggles to move or breathe.)

8. How he’s pretty sure he’s gonna die before all of them and he’s way more okay with that than he should be

RESULT: Remus forces him to learn even more defense spells outside of class. Sirius and Regulus teach him hand-to-hand combat. Lily and Severus make it their priority to give James reasons to enjoy life. And Peter is the one tasked with noticing when James’ mood dips and swings.

9. His repression of his bisexuality

RESULT: Remus forces him to talk for ten minutes a day about being bisexual. Sirius makes them all I LOVE MY BISEXUAL BROTHER shirts that they wear every weekend (James’ says I’M THE BISEXUAL BROTHER. Severus and Lily’s say I LOVE MY BISEXUAL BOYFRIEND. James has a matching one that says I’M THE BISEXUAL BOYFRIEND. Those get made after James is way more comfortable with who he is.) Peter will nudge James’ side every time a boy he thinks is cute walks by, and James learns to do the same in return. They tease him and love him and Sirius kisses his cheek all the time, and life is good.

10. How the happiest day of his life was when all four of the Marauders wore skirts and he felt so comfortable in his own skin and so happy and so ashamed

RESULT: Sirius starts wearing skirts to class every day. Remus wears summer dresses. Peter wears tutus. James is still hesitant, but then Severus shows up at breakfast in a soft skirt and smiles as he kisses James’ cheek and James runs upstairs and changes before his first class. Regulus tells him, “You look beautiful, Jamie,” and James throws his arms around his neck and holds on tight even as Regulus huffs in fake annoyance.

Severus

1. How he internalizes every insult the Marauders throw at him

RESULT: They stop insulting him. And apologize for every single one they’ve ever thrown his way. (And Severus is treated to the first of many hugs from Sirius and Remus - they’re the best huggers in all of the Marauders.)

2. How he used to be proud of being a Slytherin but because of them now hates himself for it

RESULT: James, Regulus, and Sirius arrange a House Pride day. It encourages interHouse mingling and everyone is decked out in their House colors. A lot of friends are made, and plenty of long-lasting relationships too. Dumbledore thinks it’s such a great idea that he makes it an annual tradition.

3. How terrified he is of the impending war

RESULT: There’s not much that can be done. But they start having family movie nights to distract themselves. Cuddle piles are common and welcome.

4. How jealous he is of Sirius and Regulus for having somewhere to go when their home life is too unbearable

RESULT: Naturally, James adopts him immediately. And Sirius and Regulus do their damndest to be his brothers. The nightmares are still there, but the causes for them are not. (Also, Severus, Sirius, and Regulus get the help of Mcgonogall and Dumbledore to create a safe haven for the kids of abusive pureblood families. It takes awhile for the secrets to come out and the pride to fall, but eventually this place is home to Narcissa, Andromeda, Lucius, Bellatrix, and quite a few others. To all of their surprise, there are multiple kids from every House in the haven (dubbed “Love Haven” as a parody of the pureist institutions called “Blood Havens”). It doesn’t excuse their behavior, but it gives them reasons to change for the better.)

5. How much he hates James for stealing his only friend and how much he hates himself for losing her and how much he loves, loves, loves James Potter despite all his efforts not to

RESULT: A lot of long, drawn out, uncomfortable conversations between James, Lily, and Severus. Even after they’re together, their insecurities get in the way. Luckily, the good times make up for the bad ones.

6. How he’s known Remus’ secret since first year and never once thought to tell

RESULT: Sirius loves him. Like, really loves him. Severus is treated to so many Sirius hugs he starts to forget what it was like before they started hugging. And Remus and Severus build themselves an unlikely friendship, one that mostly involves them sitting next to each other while reading and occasionally leaning their heads on each other’s shoulders. And Severus becomes one of the people Remus Lupin reaches for when werewolves are brought up in class. He finds, surprisingly, that holding Remus Lupin’s hand is something he just never quite wants to stop doing.

7. How the Slytherins the Marauders think are his “cronies” are actually his bullies that follow him around everywhere

RESULT: When Severus goes to class the next day, the cronies don’t look at him. They don’t speak to him. They don’t touch him. Severus asks all of the Marauders in increasingly urgent tones what they did, but they won’t say. In the end, all Severus knows is that he will never be mistreated again. Not while they’re alive.

8. How much he cares about Regulus

RESULT: Regulus will slip his hand into Severus’ a lot. They refer to each other as brothers to total strangers. In a group of Gryffindors, it’s nice to have a fellow Slytherin around to talk to. As much as they love their friends, there are just some things those headstrong Gryffindors will never understand.

9. How he feels like a freak for his asexuality

RESULT: Dumbledore opens a sex ed class at Hogwarts. (As part of his punishment for, ya know, the genocide, Grindelwald is forced to teach it. He and Dumbledore make eyes at each other the whole time, which makes Sirius and James gag and Remus and Peter laugh.) The class explores sexuality, including asexuality, and there are open discussions. Dumbledore authorizes an annual Pride at Severus and Remus’ request. There’s a lot of cake and glitter and hugs. The world is all the better for it, and they are all the happier for it.

Lily

1. How guilty she feels for loving James when she promised Severus she would only ever love him

RESULT: More awkward conversations for the three of them. And a lot of kisses, hand holding, hugs, and other assorted variations of affection between Lily and Severus.

2. How wholly and purely she loves Severus, no matter what James or anyone else says or thinks

RESULT: They apologize to Lily as well as Severus for all their remarks against him. James touches Lily’s shoulder and tells her she couldn’t have picked a better person to love, not even him, and she smiles. And James creates an organization to combat anti-Slytherin bias, which includes a lot of talking to first years and helping them be proud of who they are. Lily is at every meeting, holding tightly to Severus’ hand as she breathes in deep and blinks back happy tears. And whenever James catches her eyes, she smiles. Wide and big.

3. How she feels when James flirts with her like she’s a prize to be won rather than a human

RESULT: James apologizes. A lot. Like, more than is honestly necessary. But he also tries to amend his ways. He treats her like a person from then on; he treats the people she loves like people. He’s careful not to touch her unless she asks for it or invites him to. And she learns to trust him, that he doesn’t always mean the shitty things he says. The day she first kisses him is the day she finds out he’s asked every single girl in their year how to respectfully flirt with someone, respect boundaries, and remain unthreatening in a conversation.

4. How much she struggles with being a witch because of what her family and classmates think of her

RESULT: The Marauders work to better their classmates and professors’ minds by speaking out against pureist slurs and encouraging her to stand up for herself. And her last summer before graduating, they all travel home with her to her family and give them a talking to. (It doesn’t quite work, but, well. She has a new family now. One she chose. One she likes much, much better than her old one.)

5. How she’s never really felt like much of a girl (FTM Lily)

RESULT: Regulus helps Lily, since he’s trans, with ways to battle dysphoria and feel better about his appearance. James, Sirius, and Remus help correct people when they use the wrong pronouns, and encourage Lily by calling him “dude” and “bro” and whatever other masculine nicknames they can come up with. Peter talks to Dumbledore and Mcgonogall about all of the needed steps that should be taken to ensure Lily’s safety and comfort, and Severus buys him too many clothes and tells him he’s beautiful and helps him search for names until Lily decides he wants to keep his original one. And they all tell him how proud they are of him every day. (They also buy him a trans flag, along with every other pride flag needed for their group, and a couple hundred mini ones for every other queer student. Lily leads the school’s GSA, though it was founded by Remus and Sirius. And James smuggles them all out to Muggle Pride.)

Peter

1. How left out he feels all the time

RESULT: James, Sirius, and Remus are sure to include him in their antics. They ask him his opinion on things and let him make the plans some days. And they hug him more. There are lots and lots of group hugs.

2. How he constantly wonders if they would notice or care if he disappeared

RESULT: The seven of them start to play Hide and Seek every week around the castle. And they don’t stop until they find everyone, including Peter. It’s stupid, but it proves to Peter that even in the context of a children’s game he’s important. (He feels even better when he’s found first.)

3. How he doesn’t think they would go to the same lengths for him as they would for each other

RESULT: They hope they never end up in a situation where they have to prove this to him, but. In the meantime, they tell him how much they love and appreciate him. They do what they can for him. And they try to make things more equal between the four of them, even if that just means splitting a chocolate bar into equal pieces.

4. How he thinks he might be bi but he also thinks it doesn’t matter because nobody will ever love him, right?

RESULT: Remus actually throws a fit at this. He shouts for nearly twenty minutes about how if a werewolf like him can be loved, and he is, he knows he is, then Peter can be loved. Sirius then starts shouting at Remus, because he hates when Remus refers to himself as less than human. Their fight eventually devolves into a very fierce makeout session, at which James rolls his eyes and envelopes Peter in a hug, telling him that they love him no matter what and one day someone else is going to too. Then he grins and takes Peter’s hand, pulling him out of the dorm (as Sirius and Remus collapse on a bed that is probably not either of theirs) and down the halls to the Great Hall, where their other three friends are waiting with grins. A Hufflepuff punk looks up at Peter and smiles, and Peter’s heart lights itself on fire.

5. How much he actually cares about that nonbinary Hufflepuff Maxwell

RESULT: A nonbinary Hufflepuff named Maxwell Needles, a transfer student from Beauxbatons, is the object of Peter’s affections. The other Marauders tease Peter endlessly for his crush on the Hufflepuff, but also encourage him, and Remus and Sirius do recon work to see if Max will make a worthy Marauder, should they like Peter back. After watching them undo an entire Potions lesson in plain sight and not get caught, they decide that yes, Max is good enough for Peter. Eventually Peter works up the courage to ask Max out, and they grin at him and pull him in for a quick kiss by the tie, whispering their assent against his lips before pulling back and fluttering away, though they leave a trail of magical butterflies in their wake that follow Peter around the whole rest of the day. (Peter and Max have conversations while Max carries Peter around piggyback style.)

6. How stupid he feels compared to all of them

RESULT: They help him study, but are sure to compliment him every time he does something well. And they assure him he’s not stupid - he’s just smart in other areas. Besides, Remus notes dryly, a person as intelligent as Maxwell Needles would never love him if he weren’t at least interesting.

7. How sometimes he’s thought about joining You-Know-Who because at least then maybe they would finally see him as something other than their tag-along laughing stock

RESULT: They assure him of his worth, and they make him promise to tell them every time he thinks about giving in to the Dark. They know there’s very little they can do if he chooses to become a Death Eater, so they do all they can before it’s too late. (And they all live to be grey and old, so it must have worked.)

Regulus

1. How much he looks up to Sirius

RESULT: Sirius bursts into tears and pulls Regulus into his arms. They hold each other and whisper in each other’s ears with their eyes closed as they sway until finally Sirius pulls away and cups Regulus’ face in his hands, smiling through the tears and kissing his forehead hard before whispering, “I love you.” Regulus smiles and returns the sentiment. The two are inseparable afterwards. They hold hands a lot, their fingers woven together during classes, and so it’s no surprise when less than a week after Sirius Black becomes Sirius Lupin, Regulus Black becomes Regulus Lupin.

2. How he thought he was going to die when Sirius left him at Grimmauld Place

RESULT: Sirius tears up and pulls him close, cradling his crying baby brother against his chest as he whispers, “Come home with me. I’m sorry. Come home with me. I’ll never let them hurt you again. I’ll never let anyone hurt you ever again.”

3. How much he genuinely adores Remus

RESULT: Remus gives Regulus his last name without hesitation. He takes on a motherly role towards Regulus, often holding his hand and kissing his forehead. Regulus takes to occasionally calling him “Mum”, which Remus doesn’t mind in the slightest. When Regulus becomes an Animagus, his cat will sit on Remus’ lap for hours, letting him brush his fingers through his fur without pause as he sleeps. Regulus introduces Remus to strangers not as his brother-in-law, but simply as his brother, and Remus loves him. (And Sirius adores how close his brother and husband are. He’s not sure what he’d do if they didn’t love each other.)

4. The existence of Amir and Regulus’ shame for loving him

RESULT: The Marauders visit Amir (a Muggle librarian) with Regulus to assess whether he’s a good person (he is). They create an organization at Hogwarts that helps Muggleborn and half-blood kids, as well as anyone else who wishes to join, with Muggle-magic relationships. They, but especially Lily and Regulus, work hard to better Muggle-magic relations long after graduating Hogwarts.

5. Being born a girl and being a boy but also just a person (he/they)

RESULT: They take care with his pronouns. Sirius screams at their parents (and willing takes the Cruciatus Curse) any time they call Regulus “Regina” or their “daughter” or “she” or “her”. Similarly, James is fiercely protective of him at school, helping him stand up for himself when people get it wrong. And Remus, sweet sweet Remus, helps him dress in whichever way makes him most comfortable and brushes his hair while humming lullabies.

6. Thinking Sirius looks beautiful in a skirt

RESULT: Sirius starts crying, but they’re happy tears. And he smiles for days afterwards. So any time Sirius wears a skirt, Regulus goes out of his way to tell him how beautiful he looks. (Both brothers know how much the other struggles with the whole concept of loving yourself, but Regulus knows that Sirius often struggles with it more than he does.)

7. Being happiest when he’s hanging out with the Marauders and James throws an arm around his shoulders

RESULT: Regulus grows to be incredibly close to James. While at first he worries about intruding on James and Sirius’ friendship or James’ hospitality when he comes to live with them, his worries are soon forgotten when James starts treating him like another brother. James has a casual affection with him that Regulus loves, like when he’ll throw an arm around his shoulders or take his hand or kiss his cheek. After growing up in such an abusive family, physical affection is everything to Regulus (and Sirius, though he never says it).

8. How much he likes Severus and holding his hand and just simply being his friend

RESULT: Severus holds his hand like all the time. They’re each other’s best friend, and they aren’t ashamed to admit it. They even go to some of the school dances together, sitting criss-cross on the floor in the corner and playing Muggle hand games that Lily and Remus taught them.

9. How much he admires Sirius just for being who he is without shame

RESULT: Sirius tries to help him out of his shell. They go out shopping together and Sirius encourages him to buy whatever he wants. James buys him skirts for Christmas, Remus does his hair up when he wants it, Peter paints his nails, Lily gives him her approving nod, and Severus smiles and tells him he looks beautiful. (And in private, Sirius lets Regulus in on the little secret that he’s never been unashamed. He’s just better at hiding it.)

10. How much he wants to be like Lily, a boy who nobody questions is a boy

RESULT: Lily is extra helpful in helping him assert himself. He teaches Regulus some techniques he knows to look more masculine, and they talk about their dysphoria together. And Lily tells Severus, Sirius, and Remus that Regulus struggling, so they’re sure to call him handsome every day. And James, of course, is as sweet as ever, kissing his cheek and referring to him as “your highness” and “your majesty”. (James calls Severus “my prince” as a joke because of the whole Half-Blood Prince thing, and it makes Severus blush and cover his face with his hands every time.)

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Lost Part 6

Harry Potter Marauders Era 

Link to Part 5 

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 

Rating: T 

_______

The next morning Regulus sat across from his mother as she stirred her tea for the thirteenth time. It didn’t matter that Regulus had arrived home at 4:30 am. His parents expected him down for Christmas breakfast at 8:00 am. As usual, no one was saying a word to each other. It made Regulus wonder why they had to “keep up appearances” and dine together. Clearly, no one liked it.

Regulus glanced at his father. Orion was bored as he read over the Daily Prophet. If Orion had his way, all the members of the household could eat at their own schedules in their own way. No one would be locked at the formal dining room table scowling at each other. Orion, like Regulus, only did it to appease Walburga. Neither man really wanted to listen to her nagging. This was a silent agreement that both Orion and Regulus had agreed to years beforehand. If Walburga wanted something then they would just go along with whatever it was. It was best to be reserved and compliant unless they wanted to deal with her hair-trigger temper.

Christmas morning had been a silent affair since Sirius left home years before. There were no longer loud screaming matches on whether or not Sirius was going to eat the Christmas pudding or wear a certain suit to the Christmas dinner with the “cult.” Regulus and Orion simply did as Walburga wished and no one had a thing to bitch about.

“You look tired, Regulus.”

Walburga commented as she studied her youngest and favorite son’s face. His eyes rolled up to meet her face.

“It was a late night last night.”

“You’re doing things for the right reasons. The family should be here around seven. Bella is bringing a nice girl that I think you should get to know better.”

Walburga commented, smiling proudly. Regulus fought the urge to scowl as his father looked up from the newspaper. Orion had made it perfectly clear that he didn’t want Regulus to feel rushed to settle down with some girl.

“Mother…”

Walburga shook her head.

“I would like for you to get to know her, Regulus.”

Regulus put his fork down. This was not the way that he wanted to spend the morning. He had a woman...you. The last thing Regulus wanted was some ugly pureblood girl that he was probably related to in some way. He wanted to put an end to the madness!

“Who is she?”

Walburga put down her teacup.

“Marigold Parkinson.”

Regulus, forgetting himself, groaned.

“Mother, please...no.”

“What’s wrong with her?”

Walburga asked, getting angry. Regulus put his palms on the table.

“For one, she looks like a walrus. Second, I dated Ambrosia...her sister. That family is crazy. I mean look at how they named their children.”

Orion was silently chuckling at Regulus’ comment.

“A walrus?”

He questioned, fighting back a laugh. Regulus nodded. He was relieved that his father appeared to be on his side.

“Yes, father. Just get her some tusks and boom...National Geographic magazine cover shot.”

Orion was laughing hard at that. He didn’t care if Walburga was scowling at him. Regulus’ out of character humor was enough to send the older man into hysterical giggles. Orion couldn’t say it but that was the one thing that he missed about Sirius being home. There was always something funny happening.

“Orion, Regulus...that isn’t nice. Telling a girl that she looks like a walrus is a horrible way to get a second date.

Walburga grumbled. Regulus shrugged.

“But I don’t want the first one so...put her in a ballgown and she’ll just be a fancy walrus.”

Walburga's dark eyes were glaring at her son with disapproval.

“Well, who would you rather see then, smart mouth?”

Regulus shrugged.

“No one really. I don’t have the time at the moment.”

It was a big ass lie and Regulus knew it. He wanted nothing more than to be with you and he would go to whatever length to make sure that happened. Glancing down at his left arm, he decided to put his master plan into high gear. Regulus had no intention of spending more time than he had to with mummy and daddy. He wanted to spend his day with you and that was just where he was going.

Regulus snapped his right hand over the dark mark with a groan before standing up.

“I have to go.”

Walburga looked a bit annoyed but understood.

“Try not to be late for Christmas dinner.”

(meanwhile)

You stood helping Sirius dry dishes from breakfast. He had been unusually quiet since arriving with James.

“So are you going to tell me about the ring?”

He finally asked. You looked up, trying to fake innocence.

“I’m sorry?”

Sirius motioned down to the ring on your finger.

“I know that particular ring from anywhere. I also happened to know that my grandmother gave it to Regulus. Did you two run off and get married?”

You didn’t reply at first which made Sirius even antsier. How were you supposed to tell Sirius that he had just figured out the little plan that Regulus had suggested? Regulus was all for the two of you sneaking onto a train to a nearby village (where no one knew either of you) lying about your ages and getting married. You thought that the plan was crazy at first. The two of you were children. Neither of you was emotionally ready for a step that BIG. Besides, your relationship was still rocky getting married would make it worse. Regulus’ comment on the idea made more sense…

“If you marry me, my parents won’t have anything to stand on to pull us apart. Once we are married we are each other. My mother may be a lot of things but she won’t be able to change what’s already legal. If they annul it, then when we are 17 we’ll run off and do it but they won’t hear from us anymore. At least, with allowing things to happen this way...they can still have contact. I know that you don’t believe me but my mum and dad are still extremely sore about losing Sirius. They won’t want to lose their other son too.”

“Y/n!”

Sirius said your name a little more urgently before you reached up and tugged him into your father’s office.

“Sirius! I need you to keep your trap shut especially to James and my sister.”

“What did you two do? Y/n this is crazy. Regulus is a death eater...he’s doing bad things with bad people....and...you’ll get caught in the crossfire eventually…”

Sirius questioned. He felt his face beginning to burn. How the hell was Sirius supposed to keep something this huge from James. Sirius was not a good person to tell secrets to. James would probably say hey to Sirius and Sirius would start blabbing.

You quickly shushed Sirius.

“We aren’t married. That hasn’t happened...not yet. Sirius, I am going to need some time before he and I do that. I have to fully trust him again. Regulus did give me the ring last night. Sirius, I understand your concern but Regulus...he has something up his sleeve that he won’t even tell me. There’s something going on with Voldemort that Regulus is working on. Regulus won’t let anything happen to me. Evan, Barty, Severus...all of those lot know that I am off-limits.”

Sirius ran a hand through his hair.

“But there are other death eaters….Evan’s father, Dolohov, Mulciber...those guys won’t be so thrilled with a fellow death eater dating a muggle-born. Love, they’ll kill you. Y/n, I know what you’re thinking. You think that you are going to be getting some happiness ever after where you won’t have to want for anything in life but you aren’t going to get it, sweetheart. You’re signing up for a lifetime of sadness and heartbreak. I am not trying to sound like a dick but I’m worried. In case you haven’t forgotten that day back in the forest at school...you weren’t handling the news of Regulus’ secret life too well.”

Sirius was right. You remembered that afternoon all too well.

“Sirius, I just need you to trust me on this...please.”

Sirius didn’t look too convinced. He was more than ready to go find James and Remus to talk some sense into you.

“Okay but I don’t like this.”

You quickly stood on your tiptoes and hugged him.

“It’s going to be okay.”

The rest of the morning and into the early afternoon was peaceful. Sirius’ mood had quickly repaired itself and he was back to making Remus want to choke him. You were sitting beside Remus playing chess when the doorbell rang. Glancing down at your watch, you couldn’t help but smile. Regulus had kept his promise. He did find a way to get to you.

You quickly stood and walked to the door, ignoring James asking Lily who it was. In all of the Christmas chaos you “forgot” to tell your other friends that Regulus would be coming too. They would figure it out soon enough.

Sirius quickly started improvising some weird Christmas carol to keep the rest of his friend’s minds away from what you were doing. Why he decided that he was going to be the one that came to your and Regulus’ rescue was beyond him but here he was doing it...

Opening the door, you smiled seeing Regulus on the other side. He didn’t smile at first but gave you that raised eyebrow that said, “come here, little girl.” You quickly stepped outside and shut the door. Your parents were so busy in the kitchen that they wouldn’t notice you were gone.

As soon as the door was closed you threw your arms around Regulus’ shoulders.

“You haven’t kissed me.”

He stated calmly. Regulus was trying so hard to keep up his dom-like behavior but seeing your face was exactly what he wanted. The two of you shared a smile before he pulled you into a kiss.

“I missed you.”

You happily said against his lips.

“It's only been a few hours.”

Regulus pointed out. Yes, it had only been a few hours and they felt like an eternity for both of you. You knew that Regulus wouldn’t admit it but you could tell that he missed you as much as you missed him.

“Are you coming to me again tonight?”

You asked with a sly smile.

“Yes, I have a surprise for you but you’ll have to keep it down.”

The door opening stopped any further comment. You turned to see Lily and James standing with their mouths wide open. Sheepishly smiling, you intertwined your hand with Regulus’.

“So... we are a couple again.”

James crossed his arms over his chest.

“I didn’t know that you were a couple, to begin with. I didn’t think boyfriends typically made their girlfriends cry and question their sanity but maybe I am missing something.”

You gently stood in front of Regulus. The last thing that you wanted was for him and James to start fighting.

“James, please.”

You said trying to keep your voice as calm as possible. James ran a hand through his hair before turning and meeting Sirius’ gaze as if asking his best friend for advice. When Sirius shrugged, James turned.

“Fine...Regulus, as god as my witness, if you hurt here again...I am going to break your face.”

Regulus raised an eyebrow.

“You’ll have to catch me first.”

“Reggie.”

You hissed his name making Regulus’ tense frame ease. He wrapped an arm around your waist as James turned and walked back into the house.

Lily, meanwhile, wondered if any of her little speech on respect had sunk in at all with Regulus. She had a bad feeling that the answer was no but time would have to tell on that one. Lily wanted nothing more than to protect you and at the moment, she felt like she was failing miserably.

As a big sister, Lily wanted nothing more than for you to be happy. Your happiness was always important but so was your safety. Lily felt even more inclined to try to protect you as Petunia didn’t want a thing to do with either of you now.

You felt a little better when Lily gave you a small smile. That small smile simply said, “I’m trying.” Turning your attention back to Regulus, you gently tugged on his hand.

“Come on love.”

Both James and Lily exchanged matching scowls when you called Regulus “love.” James wanted to make a comment about there not being anything “lovely” about Regulus. He would have been happier if you decided to form some weird love triangle with Sirius and Remus. At least, you would be treated properly.

You were relieved when the tension between Lily, James, and Regulus seemed to ease off. James and Lily were busy looking at “future dream homes” while you sat snuggled against Regulus’ side. The two of you were off in your own little world.

“What’s with Petunia? She hasn’t stopped glaring at me from the moment that I walked in?”

Regulus questioned. You turned your attention to Petunia who was whispering to her new boyfriend Vernon. The two looked as if they were disgusted to even be in a room with the lot of you. Rolling your eyes, you turned your attention back to Regulus.

“She’s a muggle and very jealous of what Lily and I are. Petunia has barely talked to either Lily or me since the day that we received our Hogwarts letters.”

Regulus looked at Petunia a moment longer.

“Her boyfriend looks like a male walrus.”

He internally giggled at the thought of Vernon and Marigold Parkinson making a lovely “walrus couple.” It would be a great joke to make but he didn’t want you to know about his mother wanting him to be with the Parkinson girl.

Regulus instead leaned closer to you, letting his lips tease your ear.

“She’s no beauty that’s for sure. You are a million times more lovely...everything about you, darling.”

You shivered as the desperate attraction began to build again. Since that morning, you had been craving any kind of physical affection that Regulus would be able to give you. Of course, it wasn’t possible to just lift your skirt to climb on his lap for a good fucking but a little caress wouldn’t be bad. Regulus whispering erotically in your ear was equally welcomed.

“Reggie.”

You whispered his name. Regulus smiled and nuzzled his face closer to your ear. He kept his voice even and reserved which made his teasing all the more exciting.

“No one is as beautiful as you, Y/n. I love it when you blush like you are now. Tell me, darling, what kind of knickers do you have on under this skirt?”

You swallowed, mentally begging Regulus to raise his hand up your thigh but he wasn’t budging. Regulus’ hand stayed stagnant on your knee.

“Black lace.”

You finally whispered back. Regulus smiled, feeling the beginning of an erection coming on. He fought the urge to lift a finger to trace over your nipples. From where he was sitting, Regulus could see them through your dress. Touching you, like that, would be a horrible idea at the moment. All that Regulus could do was sit and think about you dressed in only lace knickers.

“Only be wearing those when I come back to you later.”

“What’s my surprise?”

You asked. Regulus laughed lightly.

“You’ll find out...if you’re a good girl.”

For the rest of the night, Regulus was a perfect gentleman. You were convinced that he had your parents in the palm of his hand within five minutes. James really had to work to get your father to like him how here was smooth-talking Regulus Black winning him over in one evening.

“I’ll see you soon.”

Regulus said in a low voice as he leaned down and kissed you. You knew that he was going to “leave” to hide out in your bedroom until you were able to be free but you wanted him now.

“Yes, I’ll see you at school.”

You waited for another fifteen minutes before politely bidding your parents a good evening. James had just left with Sirius and Remus. Lily was clearly as exhausted as you were.

“Aren’t you two going to stay up and watch the Christmas specials with us?”

Your mother questioned. Lily shook her head before heading toward the stairs.

“We are both exhausted, mum. Good night, Y/n.”

“Good night, Lily.”

You replied before walking down the hallway to your bedroom. Stepping in front of the door, you knew what was waiting for you on the other side and you couldn’t wait any longer.

“Time to be a good girl…”

______

@amelie-black

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@spiderxalmighty

[blahblahblippyblah]

Chapter 2 of The Magic of Dust

Read on AO3 as well.

Peter

Peter felt a little intimidated going to Hogwarts. Not because he was worried about being bad at school, but more because he was worried about fitting in. Growing up the was often teased by local kids for being, weird, or fat, or both. His mother always told him that other kids were just jealous because they were silly muggles who didn’t understand how special he was. Peter didn’t believe this though, he knew he was teased because he was different. When he got his letter he was excited because he thought he would now get to be around other kids just like himself, and he could finally make some friends, but fear crept back in slowly when he got onto the platform and saw that muggle children and wizard children seemed to be exactly the same. His mother however told him that he would soon be sorted and then he would make friends in his house and not to worry. She said any other boy would be lucky to have him as a friend. She reminded him to stay polite and kind, and to share the sweets on the train, before kissing him farewell with tears in her eyes.

The first two first years he ran into didn’t seem interested in making friends. Well the boy named Severus didn’t seem interested, his friend Lily was kind and even talked to him about how excited she was, but her Severus quickly distracted her and left Peter out of the conversation.

Then the boy in the car had only said hello before going back to his book, and Peter was starting to fell put out. Maybe making friends wasn’t something he was going to be able to do. He was about to get up and go look for somewhere else to sit when Sirius and James came in. Peter knew immediately they were purebloods, there robes and accents said it all. Plus, one was a Black. Everyone in the wizarding world knew the Blacks, his mother often told him that the Blacks came into the antic shop she worked in looking for rare books, and magical objects. Well, technically they sent others to find these objects for them, but none the less the Blacks were wealthy and powerful. Peter was super nervous, but the one named James had actually struck up conversation with him and Sirius joined in too. They were much nicer than Peter thought they would be. His mother once told him purebloods only consorted with other purebloods, and to try and not get on their bad sides. He also vaguely recalled him mom’s boss once saying the Blacks were crazy, completely mad in the head, probably because of the inbreeding. However, Talking to Sirius and James Peter didn’t get this impression. Maybe his mom had been mistaken.

After the altercation he was starting to feel awkward again. But if anyone was good at breaking tension it was him. Aspecta nudged him with her elbow to encourage him. Peter knew what she was thinking. ‘Go on. Make friends’. So Peter did exactly that.

“So we know what house James want to get into. What about you Sirius?”

Sirius looked at him and blinked. He looked upset and Pete was worried maybe he shouldn’t have asked. But then Sirius broke into a smile that reminded him a little of the look the crazy old man who lived above his mom’s flat. Maybe that was the madness his mom was talking about.

“I’m not sure. My whole family have been in Slytherin for decades. But I don’t think I want to go into Slytherin. I think I’m going to try for Gryffindor. Man, that’s going to give my mother a heart attack.” Sirius said with an excited voice.

James smiled at him approvingly.

“What about you Pete?” James asked.

“Ohhh I don’t know” Peter looked over at Aspecta who was now munching away on a licorice strand she pulled out of his pocket. She shrugged, showing she had no idea what house they would be put in.

“My mom was a Hufflepuff, no idea what my dad was, but I would be happy in anything but Slytherin.”

“Nothing wrong with Hufflepuff” James said. “Not as great as Gryffindor, but Hufflepuffs are cool. Plus, your dorm would be right beside the kitchens so that’s a bonus”

“How do you know where the kitchens are already?” Sirius questioned.

“My dad told me. He wouldn’t tell me how to find it or get in, but he said to start looking by the Hufflepuff common room.”

“Wow your dad sounds cool.” Sirius said. “My dad just told me to stay out of trouble and listen to my cousins”

“How many cousins do you have?” Peter asked genuinely interested. Maybe Sirius would have insight into how the sorting happened, or how Hogwarts was.

“Umm well from the first cousins I have 3. Andromeda, Narcissa, and Bellatrix. Andy’s in her 6th year, Sissy is in her 4th year and Bella is in her second. There all Slytherins’, but Andy’s the only one I like. Sissy is a bore, and Bella is a phycho. She once pushed me out a window into the garden because I called her ugly. Worth it though”

Both Peter and James laughed.

“Hey do you guys like Bertie Bots Every flavour beans?” Peter asked pulling out the giant box his mom gave him out of his bag.

“YES!” James said.

“Never had them” Sirius confessed but scooted closer to look at the box.

They shared the beans and the conversation continued along the lines about houses and sorting. James kept speculating how they sorted them. He seemed to think they were probably going to have to fight each other even though none of them knew and magic yet. Sirius put his bet on some sort of blood test potion. Peter thought both these were probably not likely, but his mother didn’t tell him how the sorting happened so for all he knew maybe they were right.

The boy named Remus who sat across from them by the window snorted in laughter right after James suggested some sort of obstacle course. They all looked over at him but he kept his eyes on his book.

His daemon a small rabbit peaked out at them from under Remus’s arm but didn’t say anything. She seemed more curious than mocking.

James and Sirius looked at the boy curiously probably trying to figure out if he was laughing at something he read, or he was laughing at them. Then Sirius’s daemon Fid quietly jumped down off the train seat and slowly walked over to the reading boy and his daemon.

Ileuda stayed still but sniffed a little as Fid got close. Fid’s tail was wagging and he sniffed aggressively at the rabbit then he launched forward and ran his slobbery wet tongue across the rabbit’s face. The rabbit jumped up and let out a disgusted “Eck” before jumping up on the boys shoulders and started rubbing her face into his faded patched robes. Remus dropped his book and scrunched his face in displeasure. He rubbed his face to probably out of sympathy.

“Haliwr!” The boy swore in Welsh. “What in Merlin’s name was that for?”

“Ahhh so he does talk” Sirius said with a laugh.

Fid was now on the seat beside Remus trying to get to Ileuda again tail wagging. Ileaud was having none of it and crawled down into Remus’s jumper. Remus went to pick up his book but James got to it first.

“Hogwarts: A History.” James read. “Cool, does it say how the sorting happens?” He asked handing Remus back the book.

Remus took the book back carefully and scanned James with bright amber eyes. This was the first time Peter got a good look at them and they made him nervous for some reason. He suddenly felt as if Remus was the most dangerous person in the room, even with a cute little bunny for a daemon. They seemed to glow, like a candle placed very far at the end of a hall. It was made worse by the scars that ran across his face one new and other indifferent stages of healing.

Remus hesitated but then answered with a short quiet “Yes”

“So? Care to share in your knowledge stranger?” James coaxed.

Remus just frowned his lips thin and tightly shut and looked at James. He didn’t look upset, but sadder. Or maybe that’s just how he looked normally. Remus didn’t answer but his daemon stuck her head out of the neck of the jumper and spoke.

“We’ll tell you for one of those chocolate frogs” She said looking over at Peter’s bags bag which was open a little showing the top of a chocolate frog box.

James smiled and reached above to his own trunk and pulled out 4 jumbo sized chocolate frogs. “Deal”

James passed everyone a box, including Remus. Remus took it carefully. He broke off a piece and gave it to Ileauda. Then Ileauda nudged his chin with her nose encouraging him to talk.

“I’ll tell you but you gotta keep your dog on a leash” Remus said to James with a more light hearted voice, gesturing to Sirius.

“Deal. Down boy” James joked lightly smacking Sirius on the nose with an empty chocolate frog bog. Sirius pouted but smiled and feigned being sad. Fid came back over and began wrestling with Bahaadur on the floor.

The three boys turned towards Remus eagerly.

“Ummm apparently Godric Gryffindor enchanted his hat to sort people into the houses.”

“Cool so like how does a hat do that?”

“Ummm I’m not sure. Maybe it reads your mind?”

“It’s a hat, it can’t read minds.”

“Maybe it transforms depending on the house?”

“Well I guess we’ll find out tonight”

Sirius

Sirius was nervous. They had spent the train ride eating an ungodly amount of candy and joking the whole way. Sirius really liked the new friends he had made. Even Remus once they got him to actually talk with them. He had enough creative swear words to put a dragon tamer to shame. James was a riot. He was the funniest guy Sirius had ever met. He wasn’t like the other pure blood guys his age he often had to hang out with at social events. James didn’t care what others thought of him and instead of trying to always out do everyone he instead just enjoyed himself and tried to make everyone laugh. Peter too was awesome. He looked quiet and awkward, but his funny comebacks were always perfectly timed.

By the time they had changed into their school robes and the train was pulling into the station Sirius was getting nervous. Even though he didn’t want to end up in Slytherin he was starting to worry about not having a choice. His whole family had always been placed in Slytherin.

If this mythical hat knew that then he might not have a choice.

This stayed in the back of his mind the whole time they debarked. He forgot for a little bit when they met the old hunched game keeper whose name was Ogg and his dirty matted chipmunk daemon. Beside him was his assistan,t a giant size man with big bushy hair and beard with a terrifyingly large boarhound daemon. They led all the first years down to the lake and they boarded boats to cross the water to get to school, which was apparently a tradition for first years. Being on the water was freezing cold, and beside him Remus shivered and hugged his daemon closer.

Fid was so excited his whole butt swung as he wagged his tail as he sat between his legs and stared up at the castle. Fid hadn’t shown any desire to change back into a King Snake since they arrived and both he and Sirius were super happy with the new name Sirius picked out for him. It was sort of freeing naming his own daemon, he truly didn’t understand why he and other Blacks weren’t allowed to do it. It helped him relate more to Fid.

Getting out of the lake James was so excited him and Bahaadur jumped out of the boat so quick and aggressive poor Peter who was standing up at the same time fell out of the boat into the cold water when it violently shook side to side. Luckily Hagrid came over and helped him back up with one large hand. James spent the walk up to the castle apologizing profusely. Peter said it was alright but shivered until the entered the warm entrance hall of the school.

The castle was jaw dropping. It was nothing like the castle he had been in growing up. His grandfather’s castle in France had been dark and claustrophobic. Filled with thick tapestries and, rugs, and art pieces that Sirius and Regulus had to tiptoe around for fear of breaking any and encoring the wrath of his parents. Other manors and castles were the same. But Hogwarts was open and warm. The walls seemed to only echo laughter. And the air tingled with magic.

They were led to a set of huge ornate oak doors and told to wait. After some time the door opened a little and an witch came out. She was dressed in a large set of black robes with a pointed witches hat over her greying hair which was pulled back into a tight bun. She wore a tartan scarf around her neck and her Tabby cat daemon sat beside her regarded all of them with lamp like eyes.

“Welcome to Hogwarts. My name is Professor McGonagall. I am the assistant Headmistress of this school.” She said with a slight Scottish brough. “In a moment you will be led through these doors and sorted into your houses. They are Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin. While you are here your house will be your home. Your triumphs will earn you point, and any rile breaking will lose point. At the end of the year the house with the most points will win the house cup. Any questions?”

The crowd of nervous students stayed quiet. Professor McGonagall survey them all with a thin smile. Then she caught sight of Peter.

“Pettigrew why are you soaking wet?” she asked sounding stern. Sirius had no idea how she knew his name, but she did.

Peter’s mouth gaped open, but no sound came out.

James instead answered for him.

“He fell in the lake Professor”

McGonagall turned to him. “Well we can’t eat dinner soaking wet, now can we” She waved her wand and instantly Peters clothes dried and radiated heat. Peter sighed happily. Beside him Aspecta tuned into a large brown rat and ran up his leg to get inside his now warm robes.

“Next time Mr. Potter you will allow Mr. Pettigrew to answer for himself. Now straighten up all of you. And come along.”

James

The hall was awe inspiring , candles floated all over the hall above 4 long wooden table filled almost entirely with students all in seas of black robes with pops of colour from their house ties. The ceiling was shining with twinkly stars and a swirling galaxy which seemed to mirror the sky outside but brighter. At the front of the room a long table sat on a raised dais where all the professors sat surveying the hall.

After the initial shock of the seeing the hall for the first time James was solely focused on the old dusty wizard’s hat sitting on a simple wooden stool ahead of them.

It didn’t seem magical. It was just and old dusty hat. McGonagall went up to it and was talking but James wasn’t listening, he was staring at the hat both confused and afraid. Then McGonagall pulled out a parchment and read out the first name.

“Avery, Nathan”

Nathan, a tall stocky boy with short cropped brown hair went forward and sat on the chair. McGonagall picked up the hat and placed it on top of his head. The thing was so big it fell down over his ear and eyes. He sat there for a while in silence. The whole school had eyes on him.

“SLYTHERIN!”

The voice boomed across the hall as a slit opened in the hat like a mouth. The table on the far left broke into cheers and applause.

Avery took the hat off, handed it to professor McGonagall and ran to the cheering table.

“Black, Sirius” McGonagall called.

Beside him James saw Sirius freeze. Fid had shrunk into a small banded snake and was crawling up Sirius’s leg to his robes sleeve. Sirius stayed put and James pat him on the back.

“It’ll be fine mate. No matter where you go.” James said happening to help Sirius in his fear. Sirius then stepped forward slowly. The hall was silent again but it seemed as if more people had bothered to turn and pay attention to Sirius’ sorting. James understood this. He also grew up hearing about the Blacks, one of the most powerful pure blood families of the sacred 28.

Fid was now tightly wound around Sirius’s hand as if he was holding his hand. Sirius sat down with perfect posture befitting of his upbringing. McGonagall placed the hat on his head and as soon as it touched his head it didn’t need a moment to ponder.

“GRYFFINDOR!”

When the hat came off Sirius’ face turned from blank to pure happiness. However, the clapping from the Gryffindor table was delay, and once it began it was muddles with whispers coming from the Slytherin table. Sirius didn’t seem to care though. He jumped up and punch the air triumphantly. Fid instantly feel out of his hand and landed and a big black shaggy dog who barked so loud and jumped so high some 1st years jumped back. The hall erupted in laughter at this display. Sirius ran over to the Gryffindor table and sat down beside some confused looking but smiling prefects.

James wolf whistled from his spot in celebration. It took fair longer for the crowd to calm down this time since most people where now whispering loudly with each other about what happened. Eventually when it quieted McGonagall began again. A lot few more students went up and got sorted. After a few “Evans, Lily” was called up and the red headed girl from the train went. The dove daemon was now a Butterfly sitting in her hair like a giant beret. She was eventually sorted to Gryffindor much to James’ dismay. She didn’t sit down next to Sirius though, and instead chose the further seat she could get to him.

After almost half the students had gone, they called “Lupin, Remus”

Remus went up a looking pale and sick, He sat down and the hat went completely over his eyes and nose.

The hat paused for a long time. James was worried since this was the longest pause yet, but it was eventually broken with a

“GRYFFINDOR”

When they hat came off Remus didn’t look scared anymore, but he didn’t look happy. His eyes were open wide like the hat had told him something terrifying. He got off the stool and headed to the Gryffindor table. Sirius had stood up on his chair to watch the sorting without an obstructed view and was now clapping furiously. The prefect beside him had to pull on his to make him sit.

Soon after it was Peter’s turn. Peter was shaking and he tripped walking up which some people snickered at. James stared daggers at them till they stopped. Peter got a long pause too, but not as long as Remus’.

“GRYFFINDOR!”

Peter looked shocked but was smiling ear to ear and went to sot across from Remus and Sirius.

One more student went before James, and he fidgeted the whole time knowing he was next. Bahaadur seemed unsure what to do as well. He had gone into his stag form and tapping his hoof steadily. James patted him to both comfort him and ground himself.

“Potter, James.”

“YOU GOT THIS JAMES!”

James heard Sirius shout out as he walked up. The hall started snickering.

James sat on the stool just in time to see Sirius get pulled down again but this time by Remus.

James at down and put the hat on. It went over his eyes making everything go dark and quiet, then a voice spoke in his head.

“Ah Potter.” A booming bright voce spoke to him, but not out loud in his head, bounding around in his skull.

“Yes, well no need to think about where you belong”

“Wait!” James thought and surprising he heard his own voice bounce around in his head.

“Yes?” The voice asked sounding interested.

“Ummm, If you were made by Gryffindor then is this his voice?” James asked. It had just got to him that this hat was made by his hero, and this was probably the only chance he would have to ask it anything.

The hat laughed out loud in his head. “Oh you are a true fan Mr. Potter. It is indeed… GRYFFFINDOR!”

The last word was shouted out to the hall and followed by applause, and loud wolf whistles and barks James assumed where Sirius and Fid. James took of the hat bright eyed. There was no doubt his hero was Godric Gryffindor.

Peter

Peter was flabbergasted he got into Gryffindor. The hat had first thought to put him in Hufflepuff, and although Peter loved the idea of being in Hufflepuff he couldn’t help but think of the fact all 3 of the friends he had made, his first friends ever, were in Gryffindor. This made the hat pause enough for Peter to promise to be braver if he could be in Gryffindor. The hat had laughed but didn’t sound mean more amused. “You have already started” the hat had said before shouting “GRYFFINDOR!”

Now he got to sit beside 3 friends who looked so happy to be together.

“This is the best thing ever! All of us together! We’re going to be the best Gryffindors to ever walk through this school.”

And in this moment Peter felt that James was probably on to something.

When the feast appeared Aspecta clambered out of his pocket and began reaching for a buttered bun. Peter loaded his plate with a little of everything. The food was the best thing he had ever eaten and that was saying something since he was already full on candy from earlier. He still managed 2 plates and 2 desserts before giving up.

When the plates cleared Dumbledore stood up and addressed everyone. He introduced the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Professor. Nettles. Then some notices. Stay out of the forest, no banned items, and a apparently new rule to avoid a newly planted Whomping Willow “unless one wants to meet a painful end.” A student beside him whispered to her friend.

“Why would they want a Whomping Willow. Are they mad?”

Peter once heard about Whomping Willows in a stories he read, and if what he knew was true he agreed.

Finally, they were told to head off to bed and the whole hall started to get up slowly heading for the giant oak doors. Two prefects called them over and told them to wait with them so they could head back together. James and Sirius had started poking each other in their full stomachs when a shadow fell over the four of them.

“Mr. Lupin can you please come with me?” Professor McGonagall asked and started towards to doors.

Peter went to ask Remus what was happening, but Remus was already following her.

“Why do they need to see him. We haven’t been here 3 hours” James said sounding outraged that Remus had been taken.

“I’m sure it’s fine, it’s Remus there’s no way he did anything bad”

James nodded but didn’t look convinced. But that had now gotten them on the subject of pranks and they began quietly planning all the things they could do now they were in the same house.

Remus

Professor McGonagall led him down some halls and a staircase until they reached a large set of doors in the middle of a hallway. She opened the doors and he followed her in. They were in the hospital wing. The wing was pretty large at least 2 sets of hospital beds where set up in two rows each flagged by tall frosted windows. The placed smelled of clean sheets, and the strong thick sent of brewing potions. Remus scrunched his nose. His sense of smell was stronger than the average human and the potion currently bubbling in the cauldron at the far end on a desk smelled strongly of wolfsbane. It made his nose and eyes burn and his breathing to become fiery so that he coughed a few times.

The matron came out of her office to their right and quickly came over. She was older with a stern face that had warm kind eyes that gazed at him up and down as if assessing his vitals by just looking. Her daemon was a small Orangutan that had the same warm caring eyes. He immediately went over and asses Ilueda with concern.

“Oh dear you have a cold” She said running over and pulling out her want and tapping it to his head. Nothing happened and she looked confused.

“It’s not a cold ma’am just the potion” Remus coughed out trying not to sound disrespectful of the matron’s potion brewing.

“Oh the wolfsbane in it put in this morning. I am a fool.” She said walking over and turning off the burner underneath.

“Let’s talk down there then Poppy” McGonagall suggested.

“Good idea” The matron replied and the 3 of them headed out. This time they walked out onto the grounds. But not through the entrance hall, through the back of the castle. They came out into a courtyard that led down the steep hill that was a little overrun with weeds and long grasses.

Far down the hill they passed a small hut with a giant pumpkin patch. They kept going till they got close to the lake, there Remus saw it. A giant Whomping Willow close to the edge of the Dark Forest. Near it the large game keeper Hagrid was waiting his big boarhound dog holding a lamp in its mouth for light now that the sun was set.

“Remus this is Madam Pomfrey. She is our matron and will be taking care of you before and after the full moon. This is Rubeus Hagrid our assistant Game keeper, who will be watching over the Willow during the full moon from his hut.”

Remus nodded. He knew the plan but was still worried it might be too dangerous. Hagrid was big and probably could stop a wolf from killing him, but Remus would feel so bad if that ever happened. Not to mention even if Hagrid survived how far would he still get before he ran into someone else.

“I can assure you Mr. Lupin your safety will be 100% safe in this place. Under the willow there is a tunnel. It leads directly into Hogsmeade. To an old abandoned house far from the village. Dumbledore himself as well as a few professors have put every ward imaginable on the building. Not to mention the boards that were installed on the windows and doors. There is no possibility of you getting out or anyone getting in.”

Remus nodded again. She sounded genuine in their efforts to keep people safe from him, he could only hope it worked. At home his father locked him in the cellar. It was stone and concrete all the way around with no windows and door, just a silver trap door that was covered by a large crate on the other side.

“On the day of the full moon you will arrive at the Hospital Wing immediately after classes. You will report to Madam Pomfrey and will eat in the hospital wing. 2 hours before sundown you will walk down to the willow with Madam Pomfrey who will let you into the willow. Once inside you will walk until you reach a trap door. Once up through it and inside the house you will be free to transform safely. Madam Pomfrey will arrive back to help you to the castle after sunrise. Do you understand?”

Remus nodded again.

“Very well I will now take you up to Gryffindor tower.”

[masterthespianduchovny]

The Identity Politics of Snape

Years ago, I read an opinion that part of Snape hate is because he was largely believed to be a pure blood for years. Although we all know by now that this isn’t the case, I firmly because that, despite his half blood identity, people still subconsciously view Snape as a pureblood. 

Now, many can and will deny it, but if we knew that Snape was halfblooded from the start, would we still be talking about how he’s a wizarding nazi? Would we still loathe him because of the decision he made as a teen?

I get it, he’s a teen, he should know better than that, right?

But, it’s more complicated than someone needing to know better. People often forget how casually racist the wizarding community was on the ‘GOOD’ side. For comparison, in the USA it’s like the North v the South. Yea, at a point in time, the South was straight up blatantly racist (and, in some parts, they still are), but they North is racist in a not-in-your-face type of way. And, at times, they can be more racist than the South. They may be “kinder” about it, but it’s still there.

So, when it comes to the wizarding world, we’re simply condemning Snape for siding with the blatantly racist side opposed to the casually racist people. Hell, it’s like the U.S. TODAY. It’s wrong to say you hate minorities, but it’s okay to make stereotypical statements to be prejudicial against them.

I’m simply framing context here because this race conversation in the HP fandom is so basic and elementary that it’s laughable. Seriously. 

How so?

For many years, the muggle prejudice has been compared to the U.S. brand of racism, which is an important distinction (and nazism). As an American black person, that comparison isn’t one to take lightly or casually overlook that significance of said comparison all to shit on a character other dislike because it’s cool and trendy. That’s a serious and multilayered comparison due to the complexities and long lasting effects of racism in America beginning with slavery.

For those who don’t understand what being biracial means in America, which many do not, it’s an ugly double edged sword. Some white people will treat you better because you have white blood, but you’re still a nigger. Others will treat you like shit because you have “nigger blood.” That’s why the phrase “nigger lover” exists--proximity to blackness or the defense of it is unacceptable to some; being partially black or full white is irrelevant is you look black or you’re okay with blackness. 

To argue that since Snape is biracial he gets the full benefits of his wizarding side is fallacious, especially when comparing it to American racism. Actual biracial people have flat out said the white side of their family either treated them differently due to their blackness, including their parents, and/or said racist shit to them about black people. Some of these biracial people internalized those hateful beliefs because they didn’t have anything to counter it OR the white part of their family was more influential.

Furthermore, prejudice like this especially wins out when the SOCIETY and CULTURE you live in is racist as well. Snape developed his prejudicial beliefs before he came to Hogwarts*, but the racism in his society already existed before he got there and that was even from the “good” side. It also wins out when it’s unchecked. Bullying Snape isn’t checking racism--confronting his beliefs does.

Some will argue, “Well, being half blood isn’t like being biracial--they don’t know he’s a half blood” and this is where I say, “you’re wrong.”

Chicago is a big city--like the third largest in the U.S (I’m not 100% sure). But, it’s pretty freaking huge. Those who have lived there for decades can tell you stories about their community and the history of the city. My brother told me the story about two competing grocery stores with similar names. My mother had stories--hell, my aunts and uncles too--about people from their neighborhood who went on to be famous. The details that they know and the intricate story that they can tell about a city full of millions of people is fascinating. 

The wizarding community is small--dangerously small--the idea that Snape could pretend to be a pure blood is ridiculous in a society that cares about blood purity. You think he can just say his mom is Eileen Prince and not reveal his father? You think they won’t ask about his last name and have small talk about this kid Severus Snape with the mysterious wizarding father?

Do you all honestly believe that?

Many of you probably do and that’s because you all don’t understand racism, despite trying to use this against Snape as to why you hate him and why he’s evil.

Do you know how many racist people have black spouses and black children and fuck black people, but fucking LOATHE black people? You’d be surprised. There is a severe cognitive dissonance going on with them. Hell, some fucking Neo nazi literally befriended a black man in prison and trusted him to tell his life story, then some grand wizard or some shit SIGNED a fucking KKK chapter over to said black man RECENTLY. I mean within the last year or so.

But, they’re RACIST!

Right???

Racism is illogical, so racists behave illogically.

Voldemort is a freaking HALF BLOOD and these pure blood wizards are following and worshipping him. Voldemort literally tried to recruit Lily--a FUCKING muggle into his cause. LMFAO.

Where is this going?

Wannabe DE’s befriended Snape because he was a half blood, but also, that doesn’t mean he was fully accepted. It means that he shared their beliefs to an extent, but he was also half them, so they were okay with that.

But, on Snape’s end, being a “minority” or “biracial” is a lifetime of navigating identity and the politics behind it. And people forget that he’s half muggle just because he was accepted. They could’ve easily turned on him in a heartbeat without a second thought. They had no issues with full bloods being killed--hell, even family--but, y’all think that somehow Snape is exempt because he was a half blood??? 

Snape had to live with those niggas--he literally only had himself, but we expect him to make a noble decision at 15, despite almost everyone else making selfish and fucked up decisions at his age.

People conveniently gloss over that Snape was literally fighting for his fucking life as Lily fought against an abstract threat while at Hogswarts. Lily never got bullied--”But, other muggles did.” AGAIN: Lily never got bullied OR threatened. Snape was bullied, sexually assaulted, and almost fucking killed all while being threatened into silence. You expect him to put her life over his? Seriously?

What makes this dynamic even worse is that James literally has no place telling Snape anything about race or identity and that’s on that. Especially when James is one of his bullies. Neither does Sirius or Remus. None of them motherfuckers have any right or moral ground to say shit to Snape when they could’ve easily spoke to Snape opposed to bullying him or standing by as it happened.

*Snape’s prejudice against Muggles was born from the hatred of his father, a muggle, who he was powerless against. This isn’t to excuse his behavior, but contextualize it. Abuse victims want to feel powerful (read: in control of their life). Magic gave him that power. When being in the wizarding world, he learned that having magic wasn’t enough so he sided with a group that “supported” him and would give him power. Even though people will argue that this is head canon, the text supports this better than Rowling say post books Snape joined to impress Lily. Snape was already on the path to joining unless he’d be always trying to impress Lily.

Furthermore, I’d argue that Snape’s prejudice was more complicated than “hating muggles.”

His prejudice was largely tied to hating his dad and the fight for power. Besides rumors, which it’s called rumors for a reason, there is no definitive proof that Snape actually hated muggles. If Snape was this flat out “racist” person, he would’ve been open about that. “But, but....Lily.”

Again, y'all don’t understand the nuances of racism. There was a viral story about how this white man was in a full blown relationship with a black woman and went on a racist tirade about black people TO HER. Then, in her face he said that she was “different.” Straight up racist people do not hide that they are racist. They make exceptions for the minorities who are “different” from the group that they hate. The idea that Snape would put on this whole charade to make Lily believe he isn’t racist is hilarious. 

“But, he called her a mud blood!” 

Yes, he did. Snape was complicated and had complicated and confusing feelings as a child/teen. BUT, someone who is a full blown racist doesn’t do what Snape did. Snape had prejudicial beliefs, but he, like his beliefs, were more complicated than simply hating muggles because he was half muggle himself and his relationship with muggles weren’t clear cut either.

We’re also assigning power to Snape that he didn’t and never had. 

Think about the power Omarosa had in the White House and look had easily that was taken away. For minorities, power can be taken away with a snap of a finger. Look a Brett Kavanaugh...despite his bad behavior (in school and during the hearing), he was given a lifetime position with great power as SCOTUS. That should tell you all you need to know about power.

Must we forget that many of those Death Eaters didn’t even trust Snape and he was only protected because Voldemort slightly trusted him???

Also, people’s insistence to call Snape a racist as an adult is utterly ridiculous, especially when they say James and Sirius were reformed bullies. James “magically” changed over a year, but a man who spent 18 years undercover and checking a fucking picture about using mudblood is STILL a fucking “racist?”

FrFr?

I know people like to argue that he was playing both sides to see who won, but that literally doesn’t make any sense. 

Like, AT ALL.

Why?

Because, he had the whole thing in the bag with old VOLDIE. Because of Snape’s love for Lily (however you read that), HE was the reason the war went on as long as it did. If Snape kept his mouth shut, “Happy Voldemort Day!”

If Snape had a change of heart AT ANY POINT DURING THE SERIES, “HAPPY VOLDEMORT DAY!”

I don’t think his detractors understand how pivotal Snape was in Harry’s success--all of the way to the end. Even to Snape’s dying breath he was important to Harry defeating Voldemort.

But, he was playing both sides to see who won???

Lastly: Snape was also coded as jewish.

In Snape, Rowling has created a angry villain who has a hooked nose, greasy dark hair, sallow skin and glittering dark eyes, an inscrutable, sneering, untrustworthy double agent – who hisses.  

https://sabbathmeals.typepad.com/sabbath_meals/2005/08/i_am_going_to_t.html

People have also touches on Snape’s hygiene, his lineage stemming from his mother side, and many other things people are more familiar can touch on.

The fact that he can be read and coded as marginalized and demonized groups is incredibly telling considering how demonized HE is. Snape is also very queer coded as well.

Others can go into more length about these other two identities since they aren’t my own, but it’s fascinated that someone coded in such a way is the most demonized and polarizing character--more so than the actual villain. 

I wonder if it’s representative of people who take offense to complex minority characters with complex goals who aren’t pure and good, but only serves to prop up others. White are the characters who are white can make morally grey or reprehensible decisions and behaviors be excuses, but Scape’s behavior cannot be contextualized even though it isn’t justified. People will bring up bullying, which is a valid issue, but they often steer into Fanon interpretations, which are often fabrications based on nothing and feel justified in their hate.

I wonder if these are the same people who defend Liam Neeson’s behavior from the past, yet condemn a fictional character in the same breath? 

Gosh, this isn’t touching on how fucking poor Snape is.

@halfbakedsnape

[p-and-p-admin]

Interview given to The Severus Snape and Hermione Granger Shipping Fan Group.  (sharing here Admin approved)

https://www.facebook.com/groups/199718373383293/

Hello Aurette and welcome to Behind the Quill, thank-you for letting us get to know you a little better.

I'm deeply honoured to be asked.

A true titan in the world of SS/HG fic, many of our readers will have broken their hearts over your story The Tattered Man.

Okay, let’s jump right in.

What's the story behind your pen name?

Honestly, it was a whim. Long before I thought of writing, I needed a login name to read fanfic. It was a play on Auror. I had no idea it was an actual name.

Which Harry Potter character do you identify with the most?

Hands down, Snape. I know that might sound strange, but he was the one that clicked. My niece introduced me to the books. Being in my 30s at the time, I already had kids of my own, so I didn't identify as one of the students. I loved Harry from the start but he had this uncanny ability to keep being wrong about nearly everything. The character who best expressed adult annoyance with that was Snape. And I do love a good jerk. Snape was a jerk.

Do you have a favourite genre to read? 

I'm a sucker for fantasy and science fiction. I hated reading as a child. All there was available when I was a kid was Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys and it was insipid. I glommed on to mythology early but once I'd read all the books in my library on the subject, I gave up reading at all. That was about 4th grade. Children's books in the 70s were total garbage and YA books only had one author: Judy Bloom.

Ironically, my first job was working in a bookstore. It was a college bookstore, so it was all textbooks. I wasn't even a student, so I had no interest in any of them. One semester. A Lit prof assigned Fahrenheit 451. The cover art caught my eye and I read the blurb. Then started reading the book. I finished it in about 5hrs. It blew my mind. I had no idea writing like that existed. And the book was about someone discovering the value of books. It was intellectual Inception waaaaay before that was a thing.

After that, it was like a switch flipped in my head. I sucked up books air. I was never without a book or two. Or three...

Do you have a favourite "classic" novel?

Obviously Fahrenheit 451. I'm going to go ahead and say Les Miserables as well. I was in my 30s when I finally read it and sobbed like a baby at the ending. The care and tenderness Hugo showed when portraying these disposable lives were so unique for that age. Sadly, even today. A lot of our culture is wrapped around the belief that only the wealthy have value and beauty is a pathway to wealth. The poor and ugly are a constant plague to be shunned or dealt with, not humans with crushed dreams that deserve to be valued in their own right. Look at how often fanfic recreatesSnape as handsome or Hermione as gorgeous. Those are always the least interesting stories. (hops off soapbox)

At what age did you start writing?

Whatever age I was when I wrote Safe House. Probably 40ish? That terrible little fanfic is literally the first thing I ever wrote beyond shopping lists and emails. It's an ugly child, but my first, so I love its pointy head. I intentionally leave it up so new writers can see my learning curve. No one starts out good. Read my stories in reverse chronological order and you'll see they get a little worse each time. That's how much I grew as I learned the craft.

How did you get into writing fanfiction?

Reading tons of it. I was at a total loss after the book Deathly Hallows came out and it was all over. Reading it had become an event in my house. My husband and I would snatch the book out of each other's hands "You've had it long enough. My turn." And then there were no more...

I couldn't even tell you how I found fanfic, but it kept me sane. I keyed in on SS/HG because at the time there was a noticeable difference in the talent level in that ship. I must have read SS/HG fanfic for a solid 2 yrs before I took a leap and wrote my own. I was inspired by the amazing stories, but also by the crappy ones.  "Heck, I could do better" became its own form of allowance. So I had a small 'what if' and just went for it. Of course, it was crap, everyone's first is. But taking the leap and writing it was a huge thing for me to have done.

What's the best theme you've ever come across in a fic? Is it a theme represented in your own works?

I'm a sucker for a story where characters overcome emotional adversity, both external and internal. If you squint. You'll see that theme repeated throughout my fics.

What fandoms are you involved in other than Harry Potter?

None. Nothing else ever grabbed me as a sandbox I wanted to play in before or after HP.

If you could make one change to canon, what would it be? Do you have a favourite piece of fanon?

Gosh, I don't think I would change a thing about JK Rowling's work. Things I would change would only be me forcing her story to fit my preferred ideal. However, if you think about it, her world, the good and the bad,  challenged all of us to churn out 100,000+ what ifs. Some out of anger. Heh.

As for fav piece of fanon, probably that Malfoy jr was Snape's godson. He's totally not, but whoever started that created a great layering of the dynamic between them that you can share in so many tones.

Do you listen to music when you write or do you prefer quiet?  

I was a stay-at-home mom when I was writing most of my fanfics, so I wrote in a chaotic and very noisy environment. I didn't listen to music when I wrote, but music was often the inspiration. When I would get stuck in writing, I would leave it and go listen to music that was emotionally similar to where I wanted the story to be while I thrashed out plot points. Colossus by Afro Celt Sound System is amazing for plotting a prelude to a battle.

What are your favourite fanfictions of all time?

Gosh, there are so many. Sadly, many of the authors who first inspired me are gone and pulled their fics off the web, like my fanfic bestie Dressagegrrrl. I would have to call out Pet Project by Caeria as the one I found most inspiring.  Anything by ApolloniaV is pretty high up there in my book. There are dozens I'm forgetting. There was one called Resurrection Man about Snape accidentally creating a hilarious Zombie apocalypse. Best. Fic. Ever. It disappeared from the web when the author moved on. An incredible loss.

Are you a plotter or a pantser? How does that affect your writing process?

Total pantser. The obvious effect is to drive the story right off a cliff and be unable to salvage it. It's why I vowed to never start posting until I had a rough draft ending. Too many dead stories waiting for an ending that never came. But an outline for me is a killer in disguise. I lose interest in telling the tale because I already did in the outline. The fun part is over. Sitting at a keyboard typing your fingers off, while muttering, "What the hell are these people doing? Who's writing this stuff?!" is an amazing experience.

What is your writing genre of choice?

In fanfic, I ran with every genre there was. Mostly I wanted to see if there was one I couldn't tackle.  Most of my o-fic is a hard-to-define mishmash of fantasy and sci-fi. I want to write romance, but it always turns into something complicated and angsty that no longer fits the box.

Which of your stories are you most proud of? Why?

The Tattered Man.

Did it unfold as you imagined it or did you find the unexpected cropped up as you wrote?

It came off exactly as I'd planned in my head. A rare occurrence for me.

What did you learn from writing it?

I could make people cry with my words. Up to that point, I'd made readers laugh and yell and blush, but to get a reader to the point of actually weeping? That's not easy. JK Rowling did it with ease. It was a challenge.

How personal is the story to you, and do you think that made it harder or easier to write?

It's very personal. My father had just died.  He'd had cancer, and it might have got him in the end, but what actually killed him was being sent home with a feeding tube and the wrong instructions. None of the homecare nurses realized the mistake until his kidneys shut down. It was devastating. When I next took up writing, I was still hurting so I tried to make others feel what I felt at a death that didn't have to be. It was crazy easy to write. I wrote it all in one day. Based on the reviews, I achieved my goal. It helped me work through my loss. Pretty sure I gave a few readers PTSD. My bad.

What books or authors have influenced you?

My all-time favourite book is Iain M. Banks' Use of Weapons. Definitely a classic among the eighteen people in the United States that read it. The man was a shockingly gifted author and I was devastated when he passed away. His ability to just drop you into the action from the first page and not bother to explain what's going on is sadistic genius.

How do you think that shows in your writing?

It led to my belief that a writer is always better when they assume their readers are smart. Grab their interest and just run. They'll catch on and even pass you with their theories of what's going to happen next. I've no patience with stories that spell out everything in minute detail. They're tedious and insulting. Less really is more. On the other hand, writing over your reader's head is just as annoying. Intentionally using obscure SAT words in your story just makes you a pretentious twat. Unless your character is a pretentious twat and it's part of the dialogue.  In that case, twat away. *gigglesnort*

Do people in your everyday life know you write fanfiction?

My family all knew. They were tremendously supportive. Especially Mr. Aurette, my personal Snape. Outside of my family, I was less forthcoming. Mostly because it was so crazy hard to explain. I think it's a lot less weird now, but back then? It was far more stigmatized.

How true for you is the notion of "writing for yourself"?

That's a hard one. For someone who'd never tried to write a story before, it was an amazing journey to realise what I could do. That changed me forever. Having the instant feedback of reviews was intrinsic to that experience. The downside is you can get sucked into writing for reviewers, and they will tell you clearly what they want and expect.  That can stifle. I knew no one wanted The Tattered Man to end the way it did. I was pretty terrified of the reaction. But it's what I wanted. It was the entire point. I wrote that ending for myself, but I cowered after posting.

How important is it for you to interact with your audience? How do you engage with them? Just at the point of publishing? Through social media?

I absolutely loved interacting with my readers. I made some real-life friends and some really great fic buddies all over the world. I watched them become friends in reviews too. It was a really great experience. Spam-posting a fic would often take on a festival atmosphere. Unfortunately, when my review count started to really take off, I couldn't cope with the sheer numbers the same way. There weren't enough hours on the day to reply to everyone. Trying to personalize my response to a review grew overwhelming. I actually grew quite depressed over it. Connecting on a more removed, professional level seemed cold. I connected the most on Livejournal when that was a thing. But I had to back off. "Aurette" became far more witty and wonderful than I was in real life. Everyone wanted a piece of her. I couldn't keep up with the bitch. Lol.  I faded away from most interactions on social media out of self-preservation. Even tiny fame can make you whacko.

What is the best advice you've received about writing?

There's a few that come to mind.

1-If you want to be a better writer, kill every adverb you come across.

2-Read your words out loud to yourself. If you run out of breath, your reader will run out of patience at that exact point.

3-Dressagegrrrl was the one that finally made me see how playing POV ping pong within a scene was something that marked my writing as an amateur.

4-Stop trying to be clever. Be clever, if you are clever, but don't try. It comes off hamfisted every time. Readers hate that.

5-Never, ever, ever post something you wrote that day. You've left half of it in your head and you can't tell. It's awful.

6-If you're not even a little embarrassed by something you wrote 6 months ago, you're no longer growing as a writer.

What do you do when you hit writer's block?

That's a bit of a sticking point. Stress is a muse-killer. Anything you can do to rid yourself of stress will help. Writer's block is usually the result of something going on elsewhere in your life. Fix that and the creativity will come back.

That said, my life has turned into constant stress with the result being I no longer write at all.

Has anything in real life trickled down into your writing?

Everything has. 'Write what you know' is true for fantasy too. Whether it's heartbreak, or a drunken hookup that turned into love (Hello, Mr. Aurette) or a moment when you were a child and ignored or teased, or maybe the bully, all of it makes it's way into the emotional truth of a scene or character, no matter how outlandish the setting.

Do you have any stories in the works? Can you give us a teaser?

I have a Dropbox full of stories I've run into the wall or had to leave half finished, both fanfic and o-fic. No teasers, because at this point I don't think they will ever see the light of day. Never say never, but the light of hope is dim.

Any words of encouragement to other writers?

Anyone can write and everyone has something to say. Be open to the process. Part of that process involves having a stranger tell you that your shiny new love is really shit. Being defensive only prolongs your shittiness. Embrace criticism. Sometimes,  the process of justifying something can actually buttress your choice, so you double down with better results. Other times, you'll see your idea wasn't working after all. Be ruthless in your editing, but don't delete. That scene you cut because it caused everything to go off the rails could be a different story trying to get out. Take that leap, you fail at everything you don't try, so why not try something you really want?

Thanks so much for giving us your time.

It's been my pleasure.  Thank you for the opportunity.  *waves to my readers*

[wolfstariscanon]

Guys, I’m about to introduce you to the funniest fanfiction ever written

The Puzzling Prattlings of a Pulchritudinous Potions Professor  by JuicyJuice

This is the funniest fanfiction to ever exist I’m not kidding. I first read it last year and I stayed up till like 3 or 4am and by that time I was laughing so hard it hurt. I have this fic saved on my phone and my laptop in case I ever need a good laugh because, believe me it will deliver. If this fic fails to make you laugh idk what even will make you laugh tbh.

Here are some excerpts so you guys understand what im talking about (I’ll put them under a read more becuase otherwise this post would be super long):

“But I was already angry with Dumbledore. Only the day before I had asked (again) why he felt I was not appropriate for the Defense Against the Dark Arts job when he clearly felt that a mass of turbaned nothingness was. Well, I didn’t really ask him, per se. I took all of his fuzzy socks hostage (harder than you might think—they were locked in an underground chamber guarded by a troll) and threatened to feed them all to the giant squid if he didn’t fire Quirrel immediately.

He smiled, probably because he knew nothing alive would ever consent to eat his socks, and insinuated that I have an unsatisfactory love life. Actually he said something like, “Severus you should find yourself a nice, patient, not-too-goodlooking person to settle down with and give up this petty nonsense. You may do whatever you like with my socks.” Then he gave me an eye-twinkling smile, put me in a full body bind and threw me (quite literally) out of his office. He’s got hefty arms for an old worm in a pointy hat.

Cocky old man. I hope his eyes twinkle out of his sockets. I spent the rest of the evening burning most of his socks in my fire. It left an awful smell. Eventually I realized that I should stop, so I took the remaining socks and hid them on the forbidden third floor. I cleverly figured that Dumbledore would never look there, since he knew that “Fluffy” was after his blood since he had stolen its tambourine.”

“Following this of course, she took to barging in on me at the most unexpected moments, like it was some sort of game. I took to dressing and undressing crouched behind my bed, as a precaution. She gave me quite a turn once when I was ferreting around on the floor (pretending to be a ferret, obviously—it’s an excellent stress reliever) and she stormed in like a wild boar on steroids. I had to say I was searching for my eyeglasses.

“You don’t have eyeglasses,” she said like the insolent, disagreeable thing she is. I replied, with the greatest dignity for someone in ferret-pose on the floor, “For a lady of your stature, Minerva, you should comprehend the secret lives of secretive, er. . .secrets. But now I will divulge to you and only you a great mystery of the mind which is: I have eyeglasses!. . .and they are somewhere. They cannot be with us right now as they are on a secret mission of their own.” I thought I had handled the whole thing prodigiously well, but her look told me that she knew I had no clue what I was talking about, probably because I didn’t have any clue what I was talking about. She then said, “Severus, neither you, nor I, nor anyone else has any clue what you are talking about.” “Ha!” I said, still in ferret-pose, “That’s just because no one else can hear us!””

“he most shameful day of my life reared its ugly head four pathetic days later.  As a direct consequence, I barricaded myself into a broom cupboard and resolved never leave until I was legally and spiritually dead.  I would become a broom cupboard hermit crab.  I would be a legend at Hogwarts.  In fifty years First Years would skitter past the door nervously, knowing that something inside it was alive.  The Seventh Years would dare each other to open the door or peek through the keyhole, but none of them, not even the dumbest Gryffindor, would have the nerve.  Filch would suffer a sudden death because he would never see some of his smelly brooms and mops again…And I, I would wither inside that sad, dank, dark, misty, uncomfortable place, until I forgot the horrors of Tuesday, September the Eighth.”

“As I have said before, she is always barging in on me, so this was nothing special, though it was slightly embarrassing as I was singing along to some American bloke’s song called “Werewolves of London” that I was getting on WWN (Wizarding Wireless Network).  By the time she had entered, I was very into it and was on a particularly nice “Awooooooo!” with my head thrown back and arms spread out.  I may have been dancing as well (possibly Irish), but I prefer not to think about it. She, being her insufferable self, had to take a few minutes to get over that (laughing unprofessionally hard and occasionally banging her head against the wall) before she got to her point.            “Severus,” she said, as if we were on first name terms, “I am here to teach you the facts of life.””

“Before McGonagall could educate me on the finer points of reproduction, I stunned her, put her in a full body bind and tried to carry her to her office.  Unfortunately, her apparent frailness has no correlation with her weight.  I would say that 302 kilos is not a bad estimate.  As I passed through the halls, many students stared at me like they had nothing better to do except stand still all day staring at innocent professors carrying around their colleagues.”

““Oh no,” I said, “I have lost my…” for some reason avocado was the only word that could come to mind.  I thought very quickly and finished, “orange!  Oh dear.  I must find it.” I don’t pretend to have good acting skills, but I must say that I think I handled that very nicely, considering.  So then I left, looking for my orange, obviously, and then barricaded myself in the cupboard, never to come out again. To make matters worse, something soon began knocking and shuffling about outside the door. “Professor Snape-y!” someone said, in a horribly sweet, singsong voice “It’s time to come out now!  I have some cheese for you!” That is my life.”

ALL OF THESE ARE JUST FROM THE FIRST 3 CHAPTERS. THERE ARE 18 CHAPTERS IN TOTAL. I haven’t even gotten to the part where Snape went shoe shopping or where Minnie was doing a headstand while wearing a leotard.

Just believe me, this is quite possibly the best thing you will ever read. I despise Snape with my entire being and I ABSOLUTELY HATE fics written in 1st person and this is probably like one of my favourite things in the world. TRUST ME, READ IT YOU WON’T BE SORRY.

There is also a Sequel called Severely Severus, however it only has 2 chapters and is probably abandoned.

[amarauder]

chapter thirty-one ❥ original

it’s a hate-love thing original version.

james potter x reader.

- the final chapter :)

James looked sadly at the Muggle bodies lying on the streets, and shook his head. He and many other Order members, including Y/N, had been sent to London to investigate the Muggle attack by Voldemort and his Death Eaters. It was the third attack that month, and terror ensued everywhere in the Wizarding world. They couldn't even trust anyone now—not even members of the Order. Who knows what unexpected person may turn out to be a spy?

"This is terrible," whispered Arabella, clutching the hands of Sirius, and shivering. It was early December, and very chilly.

"Worse, much worse," mumbled Remus, shaking his head along with James. "I can't believe Voldemort would be like this."

"Damn him," cursed Moody, stomping his feet, either from anger or from the cold. "Bloody murderer, he is."

Alice gave a small cry, and huddled close to Frank, tears rolling down her cheeks. It was still at the crack of dawn, and the teardrops that slid down her round, pink cheeks looked like frozen dewdrops about to slid off a leaf after a night of rain.

"Why would he do this?" said Y/N, her voice quivering. "It's barbaric, killing all these poor, innocent Muggles who don't even know that magic exists."

"We're going to stop him," said Jennifer with determination, as she yanked Gideon's arm closer to her own. "Don't you have anything to say, Gid?"

"Yeah, horrible," murmured the comely young man, scratching his head. "Fab"—he turned to his brother—"what do you make of this? I have an eerie feeling about this attack, somehow."

"It's a Muggle attack," replied Fabian, nonplussed. "What else is there to say? It's one of You-Know-Who's worst doings, but he has been doing these things for ages. What're you thinking about, Gideon?"

"Somehow," said Gideon slowly, "I think that this is an end and a beginning of something terrible."

"What are you on about?" demanded Remus aggressively.

"I mean to say that perhaps You-Know-Who—"

"Voldemort," corrected the young werewolf curtly.

"You-Know-Who might have some large plan to expunge all the people who are against him and his regime. Perhaps he has a plan right this second and is talking it over with his Death Eaters to get rid of the people of the Light—in other words, the Order. He may be planning to kill the Order members first before he moves on to other people. However, he could also go on to the most powerful Wizarding families in our world. They're the Bones, McKinnons, Longbottoms, us Prewetts, and the Potters."

James' eyes flashed, as he looked over at the young man. "Are you sure about this, Gideon?"

"I don't quite have substantiated proof, but James, he'll be after us soon!" Gideon's crystal blue eyes widened considerably. "You would suspect that You-Know-Who would be after us, after all the work we've done to go against him and the Dark Side. You know how he hates some of the old Wizarding families who aren't on his side. He'll do anything to either get those families on his side, or kill them. Now that he sees that nothing would make those families support him, he'd probably resort to the latter."

"Hogwash," said Remus aloud. "A bunch of crap, I say!"

"Lupin," gasped Jennifer, her hand fluttering to her mouth. "It makes perfect sense, why don't you get it?"

"Oh, you're only supporting him 'cause he's your boyfriend."

"You're not supporting him because you're just jealous that he is my boyfriend!"

"Jennifer, Remus," scolded Violet gently. "Enough of this already. This is a serious situation, and we'll not fool around any longer. It's time for you two to make up and let go of your past. If you don't cooperate, we may all perish in this war."

"She's right," said Jackson quietly, holding his girlfriend's hands.

"You—" began Remus, but he cut his thoughts mid-way. "Never mind. I'm sorry."

"So am I," agreed Jennifer stiffly.

"Well, then," said Lily awkwardly. "Er—what were you saying, Gideon?"

Gideon simply raised a perfectly arched eyebrow at the young wife and sighed. "Your family may be in danger, Y/N."

"I—" Remus stopped halfway through his sentence again, and refrained from speaking unless spoken to.

"Well, Gideon, then I suppose your family would be as well."

"Yes, I am quite aware of that, as well as the fact that there are many families that are plotting against our families right at this moment."

"Such as mine," added Sirius, finally joining the conversation. "My brother's a Death Eater."

Silence followed this statement, as the Prewett brothers looked his way. Fabian looked perfectly calm and nonchalant, but Gideon stared at Sirius as if he were a madman.

"You're kidding."

"Not. Is it that surprising, Gid? My family's always been supportive of the Dark Arts."

"Sirius, you know that your family aren't that loyal to You-Know-Who."

Sirius snorted. "Yeah, but my brother wants to please Mother and Father, and he's blinded by Voldemort's stupid promises to all that join him. I won't be surprised if he runs away the day after he's recruited."

"He's still your family, Sirius," said Alice softly.

"Family? Ha! The Order is better family than mine ever was. Everyone in the Black family hates me, except for Andromeda. What does that tell you? My cousin, Bellatrix, has probably joined up already with the Death Eaters with her fiancé, Rodolphus Lestrange. Don't expect my family to not do anything to support Voldemort, Al."

"For Merlin's sake, Black, stop saying his name!" snapped Moody irascibly.

Sirius pointedly ignored the Auror, and took a deep breath, calming slightly from his sudden fulmination.

"So you're saying, Prewett, that my best friend and his wife are going to die, just like that?" said Remus slowly.

"That's exactly what I'm saying, Remus," said Gideon pleasantly. He still didn't notice the fact that Remus disliked him immensely. "Does it not make sense to you? May I care to elaborate—"

"No, no, that will be all." Remus didn't want to tempt him with another speech.

"He's already taken over much of Europe," said Fabian statistically, looking over a thick wad of paper. "Let's see now...some of Luxembourg, Germany, nearly all of Britain, France, and a small part of Italy. I hear he's moving toward Ireland soon."

"How do we know you haven't made all this stuff up, then?"

"What on earth? Why would you suspect me of such a thing?" Fabian looked at Remus in astonishment.

"You never know if a member of the Order is an ally or enemy."

"Then how do I know if you're not a spy?"

"'Cause, I'm not!"

"Remus," interrupted Violet soothingly, placing her small hand upon his shoulders. "Please don't start this again. It isn't like old times anymore; this is serious now."

"No need, Violet, I'm fine."

Y/N sighed, looking over at the young werewolf, who was currently in despair. She felt terrible for Remus, and her heart went out to him, but what could she possibly do? She couldn't say that she knew how he felt, because she really didn't. First he lost his girlfriend, and was now living under the same roof with her and her boyfriend. Now, he had to suffer more than ever during the full moon periods, and there was always the threat that Voldemort may convince him enough to join the Dark Side.

"Cheer up all, it's the holidays," said Arabella, feigning exuberance. "How about we all head down to Hogsmeade and look at the decorations?"

"You young people can go," muttered Moody. "I'm going back to headquarters. Merlin knows that we need at least some responsible members who are dedicated to the Cause."

"You know, I'm a very responsible member of the Order."

James groaned inwardly, and squeezed his eyes shut. Here we go again, he thought gloomily. Another bickering between Arabella and Moody is not something I want right now.

"Yes, of course you are," said Moody in a sarcastic tone. "Running off to God knows where every single second of your life—so faithful."

"Don't insult me, sir! You are no better, you ugly, you pathetic piece of—"

"Let's go," said Sirius suddenly, dragging Arabella by the arm and Apparating. Arabella sighed, and followed suit, and Remus, Jennifer, Y/N, James, Violet, and Jackson went as well.

"Ah, Hogsmeade, it's good to be back once more," said Y/N joyously, as she breathed the cold air, and touched the moist snowflakes that were falling.

"Let's go see Emmeline," said Sirius enthusiastically.

"Padfoot, you dolt, she's already graduated from Hogwarts!" James laughed. "She bought a flat in London."

"Darn."

"Now what?"

"Honeydukes," announced Jackson, when no one else would reply. Since there was nothing else to do, they all assented and entered the sweet shop, ready to empty their pockets of gold.

"James Potter, a pleasure to meet you once again," came an oddly familiar oily voice from behind them.

James narrowed his eyes, and turned around. "Snivellus," he hissed venomously.

"Severus!" exclaimed Y/N, her hand fluttering up to her mouth, as she clutched James' arm painfully.

"What do you want, Snape?"

"Ah, finally calling me by my given surname, are we, Potter? I guess those nickname days are over, huh?"

"I said, what do you want, Snivelly?"

"Why, I can't say hello to my fellow classmates whom I graduated with two years ago?"

"Oy, over here!"

They turned around yet again to see Emmeline waving her arms cheerfully. She was as pretty as always, with her brown hair framed over her pink cheeks. Around her arm was a handsome man with dark-brown hair and hazel eyes.

"Hey, Em," said Lily.

"I thought you graduated from Hogwarts," said Sirius, puzzled.

"I have, stupid. Can't a girl visit Hogsmeade anyway? Oh, how rude! This is my boyfriend, Randy Smith." She gestured to the man.

"Related to Laura Smith?" persisted James.

"Yes, my deceased younger sister." His eyes clouded, and he looked over at James. "You're James Potter, aren't you? The most famous and youngest Auror at the Ministry."

"Oh, well—er—" James shuffled his feet, his face crimson. "I can't say most famous, but yes, I am an Auror at the Ministry."

Emmeline grinned. "Grown modest, have we, James? Well, Dumbledore sent me the letter asking me to join the you-know-what, so I'll be at you-know-where tonight."

"Excellent," said Arabella. "So, how long have you two been an item?"

"Three months," confirmed Randy, his arm tightening around Emmeline's waist. "Best three months I've ever had in my whole life."

"Em, can we talk?" asked Y/N in a strained voice.

"Yes, of course." Emmeline followed Y/N to a small corner, puzzled. "What is it, Lils?"

"What happened to Kenneth? Have you given him up?"

"Oh, Lily." Her eyes turned glossy, as she wiped the sleeve of her robes on her nose, sniffling slightly. "I would never give Ken up, no matter what. Kenneth was attacked that day so long ago at Hogsmeade, remember? So he was brought to St. Mungo's for treatment. They had already buried Laura Smith. I frequently visited Ken at St. Mungo's, but a month later, they had told me that his condition was extremely critical. He died a few days later."

"Em, I'm so sorry that I brought that up." Y/N hugged the younger girl tightly, as tears threatened to escape her eyes.

"It's quite all right. You should have known sooner or later. That's when I met Randy a little later, and we began dating. You see, I don't love Randy, poor boy, but I respect him. However, Ken will always be in my heart, even if he was a fling at Hogwarts, because I did truly love him."

"Yes, I know you did, Emmeline. Now aren't you glad that I let you have that small break during the prefect meeting on the train?"

Emmeline laughed, her tears dissolving. "Well, duh! I may have been a complete ditz back then, but hey, I was good with the guys."

"Shall we go back?" Y/N offered, taking the girl's hand in her own and squeezing it comfortingly.

"We shall."

"What am I going to tell him, Bella?"

Y/N clutched her stomach as if it was going to fall off any second. Her e/c eyes inspected her best friend carefully, as she continuously smoothed down her thick, light/dark,  h/c hair with her other hand. One small s/c finger wrapped a strand of hair around it, as she chewed her hair thoughtfully.

"First of all, Y/N, take that hair out of your mouth. Secondly, just tell James the truth: you're pregnant."

"Do you even know how he's going to take that piece of information, Bella? James will freak out, and maybe he won't even want the baby."

"Oh, for Merlin's sake, why wouldn't he want the baby? James is a very paternal sort of person, though I really can't see how at this moment. However, you know that he loves you and would never leave you."

"I'm not sure if he does anymore."

Arabella dropped her hands that she had unconsciously been holding up in mid-air, and stared at Y/N, open-mouthed. "Of course James loves you. You remember how he chased you back in our fifth year, constantly asking you to go out with him. He tried so hard just to gain your friendship in our sixth year, and finally had your heart in seventh year. Now you're saying the boy doesn't love you anymore? You're paranoid, N/N."

"Still, if James finds out..."

"Find out what?"

Y/N jumped up, and looking around, saw James come into the house, a hand running through his black hair. He grinned at his wife, and waved merrily, raising an eyebrow at the worried look upon her face.

"Why the long look, Y/N? Are you hiding a naughty secret from your dear husband? You know that's not very nice of you."

"A secret? Certainly not!"

James rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Tell me when you want to, love. I'm going to fix something to eat. Boy, it's already two days before Christmas Eve, huh? Time sure flies." He went to the kitchen, humming to himself.

"I can't tell him," said Y/N sadly, watching him leave.

"If you won't, I will."

"WHAT?"

"You heard me."

"Arabella Figg, you will not tell my husband that his wife is pregnant. That's so unromantic."

"Well, you're the one who won't tell him, so do you expect to go up to him when your water breaks one day and say, 'Hey James, give me a ride to St. Mungo's, I have to get my baby delivered'."

Y/N laughed despite of herself. "You're right, I'm being ridiculous. However, I won't tell him just yet."

"Then when will you tell him?"

"Christmas Day. That'll give him an extra gift, won't it?"

"That's the spirit."

"You know what else is ironic?"

"What?"

"Alice is pregnant, too."

Arabella squealed so loudly that James came bounding out of the kitchen, his hand flying involuntarily to his hair.

"What the hell, Bella? What is it? Death Eaters? Voldemort?"

"Alice is pregnant!" she squeaked joyfully. "Can you believe it? Oh, now we know what she and Frank have been doing, locked up in their bedroom all the time..."

"Ugh, stop, Bells," scolded Y/N, groaning. "You perverted individual."

James smiled. "That's great. I'll have to congratulate Alice and Frank the next time I see them. Frank must be really proud, now being a father. Wonder if it'll be a boy or a girl."

"James, if we ever had a baby"—Y/N hesitated—"would you be mad?"

"Mad? Why would I be?"

James looked at his wife wonderingly, as she paled visibly. He frowned. What was wrong with YN? She had been acting very strange lately, not her usual laughing self and sulked every day, looking out of the window flaccidly even at meetings. He had a fleeting thought that perhaps Voldemort was taking over her brain, but he vetoed the idea at once. Y/N was too strong for people to take over herself.

"I don't know. Maybe you don't want a baby."

"Of course I want a baby...especially a boy. Then I'd name him Harry."

"Why is that?" (A/N: Even though I didn't mention this, Dumbledore had already cleared the memories that Lily and James, as well as anyone else had of the future. Also, let's pretend the headmaster doesn't know about the future either.)

"I don't know; it just sounds good in my ears. 'Sides, my grandfather was named Harry Daniel Potter. So if we ever have a boy, we shall name him Harry James Potter. It's a tradition for Potters to name their sons after relatives, especially with their middle names be the first name of their father."

For the first time in a long time, Y/N gave a true smile. To see James so worked up over planning the names of their future children gave her hope that perhaps he wouldn't disown her when she would tell him that she was pregnant. James' hazel eyes were shining as he excitedly chattered on about the Potter history, and how their children would be all he and Y/N would teach them.

"I love you, James," she whispered, hugging him.

"My, what brought this on?" However, he was pleased, and kissed her forehead softly.

"I'm just really happy, that's all, and I do love you."

"Well, I'm glad that you're not who you used to be: that little H/C haired girl with a terrible temper and a sharp tongue—L/N."

Y/N laughed. "I'm still a h/c haired girl, and I have a temper and a sharp tongue. Don't think I changed that much, James."

"Oh, but you have. You used to be so pushy when it came to boys, that no boys would go near you. I was the only one brave enough."

"Yeah, right. That was because you threatened to hex them for eternity if they ever went near me."

James blushed, and scratched the back of his neck, feeling ashamed. He had never realized that he had done such terrible things back at Hogwarts, cursing people whom he didn't like at first sight, especially Snape, and showing off every day with his Snitch and his hexing abilities. Sadly, many people had looked up to him because he was "Mr. Perfect". Only he, his friends, and Y/N knew that he truly wasn't perfect, but only she had the nerve to tell it to his face.

You know you deserved that, said a nagging voice in his mind. If L/N didn't tell you to stop being a kid and grow up, then you would've still been that arrogant berk. Seriously, you have a cold heart, James Potter.

His eyes widened, and he looked over at Y/N pleadingly. "Do you think I should be in Slytherin?"

"What?" Lily looked up in surprise. "Why?"

"'Cause I used to hex people all the time back at Hogwarts, and that's a real low thing to do to anyone and anything."

"Oh, James, you're a true Gryffindor. Everyone goes through a period where they show off to get attention. Yours was just much longer because you really did have something to show off."

"Thanks, N/N." He grinned. "If we ever do have a kid, I'll make sure he or she'll be just like you."

 "Where's my wand?" screeched Sirius, looking around the room.

"It's right in your hand, you dolt," replied Arabella, giggling. "Oh, let's open the presents now, please?"

"Not until everyone arrives, Bella," admonished Y/N, peering over to the brunette through the tinsel on the Christmas tree.

"Why couldn't your parents have used Floo Powder?"

"They're Muggles; you can't expect them to be so comfortable with the Wizarding ways, can you?"

"My Mum is."

"She's a Squib, and Squibs still know everything about the Wizarding world; they just can't perform those things with a wand."

Arabella thought about it for a moment. "You're right, I guess."

"I'm always right, aren't I?"

James grinned from where he was standing, eating a piece of toast. "See, Padfoot, I told you we Potters are never humble. This is what you get for marrying me, Love—now you're confident too. It's not egotistical; it's simply knowing what you're about."

Y/N snorted, "Who said I wasn't before? Besides you're not that egotistical Jamie."

"Isn't that a little too nice?" said Sirius dubiously. "I mean, come on, I've known Prongs longer, and he really was a bit conceited."

"Yeah, I don't think my intentions were that angelic."

Y/N raised an eyebrow. "Oh, so now you're trying to be modest? Puh-lease, James, that is so not your area of expertise."

"Well, I thought I was good at everything." He grinned in a cocky manner.

"Hey, guys," said Jennifer cheerfully, coming in with a tray of hot chocolate and chocolate-chip cookies. "You all hungry?"

"Am I!" exclaimed Sirius, bounding for the food. He grabbed a cookie and munched on it enthusiastically. "Thanks, Jen."

She smiled. "Always the same, aren't you, Sirius?"

"Where did you come from?" asked James, helping himself to a cookie as well, though more calmly than his best friend.

"Floo Powder. I didn't feel like Apparating then knocking, so I decided to get here from my fireplace. Say, where's Gideon and Remus?"

Jennifer and Remus had recovered their old friendship a few weeks ago, and now they were as close as ever. Their friends knew, of course, that they were still in love with each other, Remus being a little more obvious than his ex-girlfriend was. Jennifer claimed lately that she was in love with Gideon Prewett and adored his twin brother, Fabian, but the girls knew that she was lying, though they admitted that she was quite talented in that area. Jennifer was still in love with Remus, though she denied it constantly to her friends.

"They're not here yet," replied Lily, "which is why Bella and I are going to take this chance and tell you to admit it."

"What're you on about?"

"Don't pretend like you don't know, Jen. You know you love Remus."

Jennifer nearly dropped the tray that she had been holding. "What gives you an idea like that? Our relationship is over, and there's no vestige of it at all. We're starting over with friendship, like when we were kids."

There was a snort after her comment, probably from Sirius. No one truly believed the veracity of her denial, of course, since it was too obvious that Jennifer pined for Remus even when she was with Gideon.

"Liar," mumbled Arabella, standing up from where she was sitting and brushed back her brown curly locks. "I'm going to get Violet and Jackson. They're probably doing a naughty deed back in their apartment."

"No," said Y/N a bit louder than intended. "What if you walk in on them doing that 'naughty' deed? That would be so humiliating, not to mention disturbing."

"Oh, how could I have forgotten? Watching Violet and Jackson having s—"

"I have everyone's presents," interrupted Jennifer, a faint blush upon her cheeks. "Shall I put them under the tree?"

"Please do, Jen."

A few hours later, after everyone else had come and presents were opened, Y/N was debating on how to tell James about the baby. She was biting her nails through the Christmas dinner while everyone else was laughing and gaily chatting about their plans for that day, and only James and her friends noticed her peculiar behavior. However, only James didn't know why she was behaving such, so he sat there, worried, while Sirius was knocking him off his chair every five minutes, being drunk and all.

Y/N stood up, unable to bear it anymore. She had to tell him, no matter what his reaction would be.

"James, can I talk to you?"

She wants some kind of divorce, thought James, panicking. I must be a really bad husband to her.

"What is it, Y/N?" he questioned anxiously. "What did I do? I promise to be a better husband from now on!"

"No, James, it's not you. I—I don't know how to say this."

"You're cheating on me." His voice was flat.

"WHAT! You know I'd never, dear. No, it's just that I'm—pregnant."

There was a pause and then silence. James' jaw dropped as he stared at his wife incredulously. However, he thought of her odd behavior recently and how Y/N had no energy for many things. Also, she had been constantly talking about "Harry" and if they had a baby, what they would do.

Suddenly, he broke into a wide grin. He was a father...a real father! He knew that his dad would be proud of him. He was a father now, someone that his kid would look up to someday.

"I'm a father!" he exclaimed loudly, and all the Order members got out of their seats to watch Y/N and James' tender kisses.

Emmeline Vance smiled from where she sat in her stately attire. She had a sad smile now, not the seductive one she flashed in her Hogwarts days. Kenneth Hughes had changed her life, even though they had gotten together in the most unexpected way. However, the cruelty of life had taken him away from her, and now she was no longer that flirting and prissy little girl she was back in her schoolgirl days. She no longer wore those cut-off robes down to only her knees but had an austere and prim adornment. Nevertheless, it had not vetoed her passion for life and her spirit. Perhaps she would have been a good Gryffindor after all. After all, though her own love life was lost and would never be recovered, she was still a hopeless romantic and softened whenever she saw a touching moment between a couple in love...especially Y/N and James. The latter did not know how much inspiration they evoked for the people of the Wizarding and Muggle worlds, and how they would in the future.

"Padfoot, really," said James in a panicking voice. "Come with me. I need someone to take Y/N to St. Mungo's." (A/N: Is that where they get the babies delivered? Well, it's going to be now!)

"Why would you want to go to St. Mungo's?" murmured Sirius sleepily through the flames in the fireplace. He was in his own apartment, and Arabella was sleeping in the next room. "You sick, Prongs?"

"Y/N's baby is coming!"

"WHAT?" Sirius scrambled to his feet, now very wide-awake. "Well, why didn't you say so, Prongs? I'll get Bella."

He hollered for his girlfriend in her room. "Bella!"

Arabella groaned, and sat up, rubbing her eyes and yawning. "Why the hell are you calling me up in this hour, Sirius? It's only seven o'clock and a Saturday. Go back to sleep, will you?"

"Y/N'S BABY IS COMING!"

Her reaction was quite similar to her boyfriend's. She hurriedly dressed into a navy blue pair of robes and Apparated to the Potter Estate along with a half-dressed Sirius.

"We can't have her Apparate," she said gravely. "It'll kill her. So will Floo Powder. So now what do we do?"

"Call Violet," advised Y/N, breathing heavily. "Oh, James, what do I do?"

"Calm down, N/N, we'll think of something."

So Violet and Jackson, whom were both already awake by then, Apparated to the Order headquarters. Both were very composed, unlike the other four best friends, who had been in frenzy before that.

"You're right that Apparating is out, but Floo Powder is the only other way," said Violet.

"But—"

"James! Listen, we don't have time to drive all the way there. We're Flooing, and that's that."

So they had gotten Y/N to the hospital, and she had been in labor for quite a few hours. Remus and Jennifer had arrived soon after Y/N and the rest of the group, and they were all waiting outside the room where they could hear Y/N's faint screaming inside the room.

James was twiddling his thumbs, and looked around him nervously. His eyes rested on a tall and very comely young man, looking up at the ceiling. When the man turned his face to him, he gasped.

"Frank?"

"James?"

"What're you doing here?" asked Sirius. "You hear about Y/N and her baby?"

"No, I'm here for Alice," he replied, puzzled. "What...Y/N's having her baby, too?"

When they nodded, Frank grinned. "I guess our kids are going to be born on the same day, hey, James?"

James nodded, feeling slightly calmer. At least there was someone who was in the exact same position as he was in at the moment.

Sirius smirked, "So, I guess my Halloween Parties do work wonders, huh?"

"Jamie here's been worried all day," said Arabella as she shoved her ridiculous fiancé. "Woke us all up at seven in the morning."

"We've been here since six," put in Frank, sighing. "Poor Al...you two decide on a name yet? If we have a boy, it'll be Neville after his grandfather. If a girl, then Jackie."

"Harry if it's a boy," confirmed James, "and we don't know the name if it's a girl. If it's a boy, he'll be Harry James."

"Harry James Potter," repeated Frank, and said it to himself several times. "Harry James Potter—I like it! That name will be his most prized possession for the rest of his life, that will. Maybe others will like it so much, and tell it to their friends so that everyone will know him!"

Little did he know that that statement would come true.

A few more hours later, when Frank, and everyone else, except for James who was too scared and in mental agony for his wife, were asleep on the chairs, a kind-faced Healer came out of the room where Y/N was and tapped James' shoulder.

"Are you the young husband of Y/N Potter?" she queried softly.

James gulped nervously and nodded, "She's not hurt, is she? B-"

"You have a son, sir. You may come in if you wish."

He hurriedly complied and went in the room. There, Y/N was fast asleep, her dark/light h/c hair framed over her s/c face. Next to her in a small bed, a small baby was sleeping. Though he was only an infant, he already had a very small patch of light black hair. James grinned. Harry already had his hair. The baby suddenly woke up and started to cry, waking Y/N up in the process. In closer inspection, he saw that the baby's eyes were a bright, brilliant e/c...Y/N's eyes.

Tears came to James' own hazel eyes as he smiled at Y/N, who gave him a weak smile in return.

"He's beautiful," he whispered softly. "Harry James Potter. He's got your eyes, Y/N."

"He's got your hair and nearly all your looks," replied Y/N lovingly. "He'll be the replica of you when he's older, James."

"I hope his personality, however, is exactly like his mother's. I learned from my mistakes, but I don't want little Harry here to be the bullying prat I was at school."

"Harry Potter. It's a wonderful name, dearies," complimented the Healer kindly. "You are the famous young Auror, James Potter, are you not? The son of Daniel and Sarah Potter, our most elite Aurors at the Ministry?"

James blushed and grinned. "Nah, we Potters aren't that great. It's sort of a tradition for us to become Aurors because we've always had 'nothing to fear or lose'. My grandfather came up with a quote for our family: 'Us Potters have always been bold, smart-alecks, but nothing can take away our spirit.' I do hope that my son can carry that out as well, as a legacy to the Potters before and after us."

"Well said, Mr. Potter. Who knows, maybe your son will become a famous Auror like you and the rest of your family someday." The Healer smiled indulgently at James and then looked over at Y/N. "Dear, you're the talk of us Healers here at St. Mungo's. We've always admired you from the first time we saw your picture in the Daily Prophet. You and your husband have always been a source of admiration for most of us in the Wizarding world. We all know that you will do great things in the future."

Y/N smiled politely and nodded. However, she wasn't so sure on the inside that she would be brilliant. Everyone seemed to think that she and James were the most wonderful Aurors in the Ministry, and would do great things in the future, but what could she do? They were just a bunch of young kids, fresh out of Hogwarts for only a few years, in love. Maybe she, James, and little Harry were destined for great things in the future, but she'd never know now.

By then, everyone came into her room, and she squealed with joy at the knowledge that Alice gave birth to her baby boy, Neville, as well. It was a memorable moment, with all the friends standing around a tired but exhilarated Y/N and the Potters' newborn son. It seemed as though the happiness would never end.

Unfortunately, that was not the case.

The year of 1980 passed by quickly, and by then it was September of 1981. Sirius and Arabella were married in the June of that year, and Harry was already one year old. However, the events around them were not that cheerful. Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters were dominating all of Europe, and moving on into the West, into the States, where the Wizarding community was extremely powerful, even more so than in Europe. Of course, more power attracted Voldemort.

The Order was getting frantic. Nearly half of their members were dead or captured. Gideon and Fabian were both dead, killed by Death Eaters. They had been brave and loyal to the Order, fighting until the end. Jennifer had been in a state of depression ever since the incident because even though she hadn't been deeply in love with Gideon, she liked him very much, and he had treated her well. Others among the dead were Marlene McKinnon, whom the Death Eaters had killed along with the rest of her family. Dorcas Meadows and Edgar Bones were also killed, the former murdered personally by Voldemort.

However, the most dramatic change in their lives was the fact that Voldemort was now after Y/N and James. No one, not even Dumbledore, knew really why, except for the fact that it was something about a prophecy. Sirius, of course, had been made the Secret Keeper, because James trusted him with all his heart. However, many of the Order members were doubtful. Trust a Black to keep a secret such as this? Preposterous! The Blacks have been known to be supporters of the Dark Arts, not the Light. Nevertheless, James held a firm foot on his decision, and everyone soon relented. However, no one knew that Y/N, James, and Sirius changed the Secret Keeper to be Peter. Remus didn't even know, because Sirius didn't trust him anymore. He was a werewolf, and werewolves were easily influenced...who knew if Remus was really on their side.

So they had chosen Peter, since he was the other best friend that Y/N and James could rely on. No one suspected Peter to be anything but loyal to the Order. No one suspected that Peter's loyalties were already divided.

Y/N and James were now living in Godric's Hollow. It was the safest place for hiding, and Voldemort would probably never suspect it.

"I don't know, James," said Y/N quietly. "There's something I can't put my finger on. Maybe we shouldn't have changed Secret Keepers."

"What could possibly possess you to say that, N/N? You don't trust Peter?"

"I don't know, James," she repeated. "It's a feeling I have. About something that's going to happen soon."

"Maybe you're just worrying too much."

"You think?"

"You need a break, Y/N. You've been tiring yourself at the Ministry too much. Live a little. Look at the beautiful fall landscape outside. There's nothing like fall in England, huh? Today's Halloween, we should celebrate.

"Except for the fact that we can't even see our friends often anymore, and we can barely go outside for fear that Voldemort would pop up any moment and kill us along with poor Harry. I'm scared, James."

James sighed, and looked away. "So am I, Y/N. So am I."

Silence followed, and it was only shattered when there was a piercing cry from baby Harry from his crib. Y/N hurriedly went to him, and picked him up gently, humming a soft lullaby in process. James watched his wife and son tenderly from the corner of his eye and held out his arms.

"Let me hold him."

Y/N handed him Harry, and he rocked his fragile son like he was a piece of glass. Harry gurgled and looked up at his father with large E/C eyes that sparkled brightly. His small hand went up to the growing tuft of black hair on his head, and squealed.

"Look at him!" exclaimed Y/N, laughing. "Already like you, James, messing up his hair like you used to do when you were at Hogwarts."

"Nah." The father shook his head. "I don't think Harry's like me at all, Y/N. There's something about him that I can't just put my finger on. I actually feel myself vibrate whenever I hold him, and I feel a sense of power radiated from his body. This boy will grow up to be powerful, N/N. I can feel it. He may look like me, but he has your personality, and that's something that Harry's blessed with. Having my type of personality is something he'd hate me for when he grows older."

"You aren't that bad."

"Oh?"

"You aren't an arrogant, bullying toerag anymore, that's for sure. Why else would I have married you? I wouldn't have looked at you twice if you didn't change and start to actually grow up in our sixth year."

"You were rather harsh on me, though, I have to say. You hated everything about me and were suspicious whenever I did a good deed. By Merlin, it was as if I was the Devil himself."

Y/N was quiet for a few moments before she spoke. "I have that feeling again, James."

"Love..."

"No. I have to tell you this. I feel as if we'll get killed and won't be together again. However, I have a feeling that Harry will live. We will die, but Harry will live and thrive in the Wizarding world once more, and defeat Voldemort."

"Oh, so now you're like Trelawney, that old hag?"

"James, I'm serious. I know it sounds complete ludicrous and fantastic, but it's a strong feeling that I just can't shake off."

"You could've at least spared off the part where we're supposed to die. I'm only twenty-one, and I have my whole life ahead of me. We're the famous pair of Aurors at the Ministry, and everyone knows and respects us. I'm not about to have my life ended by some insane Dark wizard who's going to take over the world."

"What if it's true, James? What if we do die, but Harry miraculously lives?"

James looked thoughtful for a moment, as he rocked Harry back to sleep again. "Harry will be a hero, then. He'll be popular as soon as he steps onto the grounds of Hogwarts, though many people might fear him. He'll be kinder and more considerate than I ever was, and wouldn't be cocky, arrogant, or cruel. He'll grow up to be exactly how I'd want my son to be." Tears came to his eyes as he said this.

"No one will watch him, though."

"Plenty of people will. Sirius, Remus, Peter, and your friends, not to mention the rest of the Order."

"James, what happens if those people can't watch him?"

"Then Harry will have to raise himself up without us. Y/N, why are you brooding about this? It's not like this is really going to happen."

A loud knock interrupted James, and Y/N clutched her husband's arm fearfully, her heart pounding loudly.

James hands were shaking, "Who's there?"

"You know."

"You know who?" James replied back, feeling a deep hatred for Peter develop.

"Correct."

"Y/N, take Harry and go! Go! Run! It's him! I'll hold him off—"James took one final look at the love of his life, knowing this would be the last time.

The door flew wide open, revealing the skeleton-like body of Lord Voldemort. He laughed harshly, and his red eyes scrutinized the scene.

"James Potter, we meet again," he said softly. "I remember you as a boy at Hogwarts. Rude, arrogant, just like your parents. However, there needn't be any reason for you to be anymore. I will make this death quick and painless, shall I?"

"As long as you don't touch Y/N or Harry." James said bravely.

"Avada Kedavra!" roared Voldemort.

James' eyes widened, as his body turned stiff and fell to the floor with a thump. His expression was a mixture of fear and also of determination. Though he did not want to, he had been prepared to die.

Y/N screamed as she held Harry tighter to her chest. No, it couldn't be. She looked over at her husband's dead body, as tears ran down her cheeks. James Henry Potter, the man she had known ever since she was eleven, was dead. Her love, the light of her life besides her son, was gone.

Memories of her Hogwarts days flashed in Y/N's mind as her heart shattered. The first train ride to Hogwarts...she and James glaring at each other...getting Jennifer and Remus together...dancing with James...laughing with James...James proposing...James kissing her...

It was all too painful. Though they did not like each other many times in their life, they were still in love. Now, James was gone. She stared at his face, her whole body shaking. If Voldemort would kill her, she would be prepared for it.

"Please," she whispered. "Not Harry, not Harry!"

"Stand aside now, girl, stand aside—"

"Please, not Harry! I'll do anything!"

"Stand aside, you silly girl."

"Take me, kill me instead."

There, she had said it. She wanted Harry to live and flourish. She didn't want him to die at the hands of this man. Y/N wanted to see her baby boy grow up, marry, and be happy, and she would risk her life to see that happen.

"Avada Kedavra!"

Y/N's body landed right next to James'.

Hagrid wiped away tears as he saw the scene. The Potter's hiding place at Godric's Hollow was completely destroyed. The house was torn down, all their belongings broken. Y/N and James' bodies were lying next to each other, their hands almost intertwined, where baby Harry was crying softly.

"There, there," he whispered, picking the small bundle up into his large arms. "Yer going't be all right, little fellow."

He looked over at Y/N and James' bodies. "Y/N, James, how could this have happened? You two're the greatest wizard and witch I's ever known."

Hagrid then looked at Harry and gave a small smile. He looked just like his dad, but had his mum's eyes. He also had both of his parent's strength and will to fight.

"Yer going't be a great wizard someday, 'arry," he said gently to the baby, who had stopped crying. "Yer parents were good people. Greatest people I's ever known. They were in love, and they never gave up n'matter what happened."

He stared at the Potters' bodies once more. "Ye can fin'lly rest in peace now, Y/N an' James."

Hagrid flew off on Sirius' motorbike with Harry. Memories of a bygone period gently floated into the still dark atmosphere, an era both terrible and wonderful, and disappeared into the night.

tags: @theredheadedwinchester

masterlist

a/n; hope you all enjoyed this fanfic! thanks for reading it! 

[hpdrapery]

you make the edges less sharp

fandom: harry potter ship: severus snape/harry potter word count: 1904 also on ao3 and ffn

A determined Harry Potter is capable of almost anything, including finally making Severus happy. Christmas Snarry for the soul.

He’d always hated winter. Not that the other seasons were much better, really, since Severus tended to be miserable all year long, but winter was a unique form of torture. He could never get warm; the chill seemed to go right to his bones, no matter what. The sensation had only become more unpleasant since the end of the war, the lingering effects of Nagini’s venom making every ache worse. Aside from the weather, there were the holidays. Christmas, in particular, never failed to put him in a dismal mood. Cheerful gift giving and spending time with people who cared were things he’d never gotten to be a part of.

Most years, Christmas found Severus holed up alone, getting spectacularly drunk. The alcohol could muffle his less pleasant feelings for a while, and really, he couldn’t hope for much more than that. It was fine, until one year it wasn’t.

xxx

“I’m not letting you spend another Christmas alone,” Harry said, scowling in a way that Severus assumed was meant to be stern, but only served to make him look horribly, maddeningly endearing. How was it that even as a grown man, the one who’d killed the Dark Lord, he still seemed to have retained some sort of innocence?

“And why is that?” Severus asked, raising an eyebrow. “Haven’t you made enough attempts at saving me?” Harry rescuing him from the floor of the Shrieking Shack, and then sitting at his bedside nearly every day while he recovered at St. Mungo’s were both far more than anyone else would think to do for him. Sometimes in his dreams, he could still hear the younger man’s comforting words.

‘It’s okay...It’s okay now, Professor. You’re safe.’ Nobody had ever really spoken to him that way before, aside from Lily. Trying to keep as much of an emotional distance as he’d like after that was a losing battle. Harry had decided that they were friends, and after a few token protests, Severus had gone along with it, allowing them to get closer and closer. Once he’d noticed that first similarity, they just kept coming, until Severus realised that Harry had never been like James at all.

“...Severus, are you even listening to me?” Harry was frowning now, looking genuinely hurt that the older man wasn’t excited about his Christmas plans. How long had he been talking while Severus was lost in thought?

“Of course I’m listening,” he said with an automatic sneer, waving a hand dismissively. “I still don’t see what about my holiday habits is so objectionable, though.”

“Well, we’re friends,” Harry said with a shrug, starting to wander about the kitchen making tea as though he lived there. It bothered him a little, reawakening that persistent ache of loneliness. “I don’t like the thought of you not having anyone to celebrate with. The Weasleys would love to have you, really. Don’t you think it’d be a little better than sitting here feeling sorry for yourself?”

Severus stared pointedly out the window, so that he didn’t have to look at those beautiful green eyes. What was Harry playing at, asking him to join his adoptive family for Christmas as though they were in a relationship? There was a deer walking down the road, right in front of his house, and the ironic reminder of James and Lily was almost enough to make him groan.

“I gave up feeling sorry for myself a long time ago, Potter,” he lied, taking a seat at the table and watching as Harry poured the tea. He didn’t even have to ask how Severus took his anymore, yet another example of how he’d let this go too far. If he’d never let Harry embark on his ridiculous quest to befriend him, then maybe he wouldn’t be in this mess, pining after someone who would never want him.

“You deserve to be happy.” Harry sat down across from him, giving him a serious look. “You never let anyone in, not really. Do you even have any friends other than me?”

“Minerva and I get together for tea every so often, not that it’s any of your business.”

“I’m sure Molly’s already planning on knitting you a Weasley jumper,” Harry said seriously, taking a sip of tea. “You wouldn’t want to disappoint her by not showing up.”

“Do you really think guilt-tripping works on me, or that I would even want one of those jumpers?” Severus asked, the faintest hint of a smile tugging at his lips. The bright, garish colors characteristic of most of the jumpers really were ugly, he thought, but they did look warm, and nobody had ever made him something like that before. Maybe receiving one in black or even a dark green wouldn’t be so bad.

“Probably not, but it’s worth a shot,” Harry replied with a chuckle, one hand inching forward across the table to brush against Severus’. He thought he noticed a hint of nervousness in the younger man’s expression, but dismissed it. Surely it was just his imagination. “And I’d be disappointed too, if you didn’t come.”

That had no right to get to him as much as it did. One hand tightening around his own teacup, he let the other hold onto Harry’s properly, as he tried to keep from looking too happy about the affection.

“I’ll think about it,” Severus mumbled, wondering when he’d gotten so soft. He had to get over this once and for all, and preferably soon, before Harry entered a relationship with someone. No need to break his own heart more than necessary.

xxx

By the time Christmas Eve rolled around, getting out of going to the Burrow proved impossible. Perhaps he could lock himself in his bedroom, though that would be rather childish…No, best to suffer through this with as much dignity as possible.

“Don’t even think about it,” Harry said, having caught his glance towards the stairs.

“Let’s get this over with, then. Everyone is undoubtedly eager to see you, given how much time you’ve been spending here instead.” In the two weeks since Harry had first invited him to join the family for Christmas, he’d been hanging around his house even more often than usual, including spending the night. Severus complained, of course, but he still draped a blanket over the younger man whenever he awoke to find him asleep on the couch.

“Can’t you at least pretend to be looking forward to it? It’ll be fun, I promise. You’ll get to meet Rosie, too,” Harry said, shrinking down a few wrapped gifts and shoving them in his pockets. His face lit up at the mention of his goddaughter, and try as he might, Severus couldn’t muster up a single negative thought about how carelessly happy he looked.

“Ah, yes, because I enjoy meeting babies so much. You’re making this sound better and better,” he retorted sarcastically. Severus had never really understood why everyone got so excited about babies. He supposed they occasionally did something cute, but nothing to look forward to. Harry Potter holding a baby on the other hand...That, he could see the appeal in.

Before Harry had a chance to reply, Severus Apparated to the Burrow. Harry followed close behind, and as they entered the house together, Severus found himself already starting to tense up. These people had no fondness for him, no matter what platitudes they might have said to Harry.

As the hours dragged on, socializing with the extended Weasley family proved to be just as awkward as Severus had been expecting. Molly’s continual poking and prodding about when Harry was going to re-enter the dating world only made things worse. Even now, years after he’d broken up with Ginny, Severus could barely resist the urge to hex the girl whenever they spoke. Having to watch Harry infatuated with someone new seemed like it wouldn’t even be survivable.

xxx

Not long after Severus stepped outside for a few moments of quiet and fresh air, Harry followed him.

“Is it as bad as you thought?” he asked, seeming genuinely curious.

“Hermione is a decent conversationalist,” Severus admitted grudgingly, not lingering too long on how strange it still felt to call his former students by their first names. “And I’ll admit that the baby is...amusing.”

Harry was visibly trying to suppress laughter, and a quiet snort slipped out regardless. Taking out his wand, he cast a warming charm over them both, and pressed a little closer as a way of subtly offering support, as though that sort of casual intimacy was perfectly natural between them. Severus hadn’t even noticed that he’d been favoring his bad leg, still prone to pain and weakness from nerve damage, but apparently Harry had. He always noticed.

“I’m glad you came,” Harry said quietly, and those simple words served to warm Severus’s heart just as much as the charm. Everything seemed a little less harsh and miserable when he was the focus of that affectionate gaze.

“Me too,” he admitted after a few moments, taking a chance and slowly winding an arm around Harry’s waist. Severus couldn’t recall being so nervous in years. He could see the Daily Prophet headline now, ‘War hero dies of heart attack.’

“Is your leg bothering you?”

“Not as much anymore,” he said. If only Harry knew the effect he had on him in moments like this. Severus wasn’t sure there was a single other person in his life he’d smiled at so often. Not even Lily.

“Good,” Harry murmured. “We can go home soon, I swear. You don’t have to put up with everyone for much longer tonight.”

“Home?” Severus echoed blankly, sure that he sounded idiotic. Had Harry just called his house home?

“Er, well, you know…” Harry was fidgeting slightly, staring intently at the moonlight reflecting off the snow rather than at Severus. “I just thought...I’ve kind of been putting off trying to find a place, and I know Ron and Hermione are probably getting sick of me living in their guest room...and we’re...”

“Spit it out already,” Severus retorted, though with less venom in his tone than there would be for anyone else. “Do you mean to say you’ve invited yourself to move in with me?”

Harry blushed, tensing as though in preparation for him to explode at him.

“Presumptuous brat,” he grumbled instead, tone fond. “I suppose I could be persuaded to let you stay, since you’ve been forcing your so-called friendship on me for years as it is.”

“Yeah?”

Before Severus could say anything, Harry’s lips were pressing softly against his own. Surprised, he kissed back, eyes closing for a moment before he pulled away.

“Yeah.”

“In that case, let’s go back inside and say our goodbyes, so we can get home before you get too grumpy, hm?” Harry teased, connecting their lips in another brief but tender kiss before heading for the door.

Just like that, Severus felt lighter than he had in years. They’d need to talk about all of this when they got back home, but it certainly seemed like Harry loved him back. Years of thinking himself unlovable, and now, he’d somehow wound up with a live-in boyfriend without even trying. If all the time he’d spent suffering had earned him this, then it was worth it.

They were still holding hands as they walked back into the crowded sitting room, and he’d never felt more content.

[allurehq-blog]

blood status: pureblood clubs: keeper and captain for the slytherin quidditch team, duelling club, charms club pronouns: up to player sexuality: up to player

BIOGRAPHY

to be written by player

CONNECTIONS

marlene mckinnon; the temptation. quidditch runs through emma’s veins. it’s been in her blood since the first match that she’d seen, unable to believe her eyes at just how powerful all those athletes seemed. since that moment on, she’s made it her life. as a member of the slytherin quidditch team starting as a first year, emma demanded that she be allowed to train in all the positions in the case that she would be needed to fill in for a position. and she’s held true to it - working and training in every position, doing all the work that each person is required to. she loves the game, and she loves the rush that the competition brings with it. being the captain of the slytherin team is something that she takes great pride in, because she works hard to make sure that the team is winning and she knows that she earned the right to be called captain. one of the major things that also comes along with being a captain, however, is that she’s forced to try and play nice with the other captain. hufflepuff and ravenclaw’s are pushovers and don’t bother her - but gryffindor is another story, specifically marlene mckinnon. marlene is cut from the same cloth that emma is. there’s a fire behind her eyes that pushes her to do what she’s passionate about. maybe that’s why emma gets so much enjoyment out of antagonizing marlene, because it leaves her satisfied and comforted knowing that there’s someone else who will get just as worked up over a sport. but what started out as a friendly competition - at least in emma’s eyes, something that she could laugh about to herself - has taken a dangerous turn. there’s something she can’t place her finger on, whether it’s because of how passionate marlene is or the way she looks after a hard fought win. emma doesn’t know how it happened or when it happened, but she’s attracted to marlene mckinnon. she knows it’s crazy, and she knows that marlene hates her - but that doesn’t seem to help stop emma from wondering what it would be like to kiss her lips until their bruised.

severus snape; the mistake. it was a dare. a stupid, stupid dare that she should’ve never accepted. but how was she supposed to know that it was going to come back to haunt her - or even worse, that she was going to grow a conscience about it? emma had a different group of girls that she hung around with - the types that ditched class and got others to do their homework for them, the ones who smoked behind the quidditch pitch. they had a reputation about them that spoke for itself - these weren’t the types of girls to bring home to meet the family. there were stories of scraped knees and bruised collarbones worn as badges of honor, of dirty little secrets and innocences lost. it didn’t matter if these stories were true or not, for no one seemed to care. it was interesting and it was fun to talk about. so when the dare had come up that night, halfway through a bottle of firewhiskey all on her own as she was squished between a couple other slytherin classmates, she realized that it was nothing she should’ve batted an eye at. they thought this was her every day life, one more addition would be nothing. the goal? find out whether snivellus was a virgin - and if the answer was no, take his virginity. she’d only heard some of the reasoning behind the need to do so, something about pride and getting the little nerd back. but with alcohol clouding her judgement in that moment, she agreed, how hard could that be? she’d barely spoken to severus before, but she wasn’t going to back down from these people. it soon became clear that he didn’t seem to be interested in getting to know anyone, even despite her obvious attempts at flirting with him. so she did the one other thing she could do to try and get through to him. she befriended him. it seemed to be impossible, but as she continued to persist, he continued to seem to grow more tolerant of her - and her affections. however, when the night came around and he finally reciprocated her actions, it was like a bucket of cold water had been dumped on her. she’d gone through the work of befriending someone - who seemed to now trust her and care for her enough that he was willing to lose his virginity to her - and it was all under false pretenses. she went through with it, the guilt cloying but hoping that it’d die out eventually - which it hasn’t. severus still doesn’t know the truth about what’s gone on, believing her to be someone of good intentions, and that might be the worst part of it all.

rita skeeter; the fair weather friend. emma has always tended to stick to her own company. she knows herself and doesn’t have to worry about offending other people that way. it’s easier and more enjoyable - and there’s less of a chance of her getting annoyed. it’s clear that her reputation of being mean or being bitchy or being unapproachable has only intensified by this decision. but in the end, it makes her life a whole lot easier. she has acquaintances that she keeps for when she needs to gossip, or for when she needs someone to vent to - but they’re not people that she would consider to be friends. emma’s not sure what makes her so reluctant to try to make friends, because it’s not as if she’s unlikable. she has a habit of rubbing people the wrong way, sure. but people seem to enjoy talking to her and from what she can tell, they must like being around her. yet, any time someone wants to get closer to her or tries to get to know her, emma cuts it off immediately. there’s something unsettling about letting a person close enough that they can know her and see her for all that she is - the good, the bad, and the ugly. rita skeeter is a very big question mark in this matter right now, though. if emma were truly to go out of her way to become friends with someone, rita would most likely be the type of person that she’d want to get to know. they’re both confident and unapologetic about who they are, they’re independent and unashamed about it. and still, the strange part is that emma isn’t sure that she’d even consider her and rita to be friends at this point. the idea is a tempting one - to have someone that she can talk to about the stupidest things or go to when she needs help without fear of judgment. but as she considers all those ideas, along with the fact that it’s rita skeeter - there’s a harsh reality that friendship is essentially out of the cards. perhaps she wants rita to prove her right and fuck her over, or maybe she wants rita to prove her wrong and actually be her friend. but either way, emma’s decision to tell her the secret about severus is the one way for her find out whether or not rita is someone she can trust.

regulus black; the commiserator. the pureblood society is one filled with traditions and history. more importantly, it’s filled with conservative people who look down upon anything that goes against the lifestyle that they speak so highly of. as a girl, emma was taught that the true success she could have in life was to marry another pureblood like herself - a man who was wealthy and elite, and who would share the same values. a man who who would support the household financially while she took a quieter career, leaving her available to raise the many children she’d be having. and even from that young age, emma knew that was not a life she was interested in for many reasons. she wasn’t the picture perfect society queen that her mother wanted her to be, sneaking comfortable boots underneath her gowns to the pureblood balls where she’d be forced to dance with eligible suitors. she wasn’t interested in sitting on the sidelines and watching someone else take care of her when she could do it herself. and quite honestly, she wasn’t all that interested in marrying a man. but it was lifestyle, not a choice. she’d seen what had happened to those who had spoken out against the pureblood lifestyle - the examples of andromeda black and sirius black now being used a way to intimidate those who would want to stray. to many of the members of the slytherin household, the pureblood lifestyle is all they know, so they find nothing wrong with it. it’s everyone else that had the problems in their eyes, why can’t everyone else try a little bit harder to be more like them? emma keeps her distaste quiet, but despite that, regulus has still manages to see the roll of her eyes or hear the quiet muttering under her breath. he pointed it out to her, continuing to poke at it and ask her what her issue was - to which she continue to try to claim nothing. but surrounded by the same people day in and day out, it’s impossible to go on with pretending to live a lie. regulus knows about her true feelings for the pureblood community, and although he’s made his own feelings of why she can’t turn her back on it known, all but saying his brother’s name, emma gets the feeling that she’s not alone in these feelings. regulus may not say that he’s unhappy, but some feelings don’t always need to be spoken.

EMMA VANITY IS PORTRAYED BY LINDSAY MORGAN, AND SHE IS OPEN FOR APPLICATION.