#several things to boil
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im done cleaning things with speciality cleaners now thank you!!!! (i am not done)
#i have at least one more round of barkeepers friend on this pot#several things to boil#and some mineral spirits to apply#i also have six picture frames to sand and paint#and an entire mirror to rub n buff#i did not know rub n buff was such a horrible substance to be around
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If I was in a lucid dream with a ghost, I would simply impress them with my blunt rolling skills
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#mdzs au#MDZS disco elysium au#This is brought to you by my Scrambled Egg brain - slowly burning up as I try to finish a long comic for this AU.#I hoped it would be done several days ago but I've changed things so many times....It is now Very Close to being done!#I probably should have just posted each page daily but at this point I'm just being stubborn. I want it complete and together.#Ruining the surprise a bit to say 'yeah its a digital art comic'#But its been tricky figuring out the style I want to use for it!#hence the swaths of MSpain(t) doodles that boil down to 'how would this look if I did X?'#I wanted to do a fully Black & White Ink style. But I scrapped it. Then I did small bits of colour. And scrapped it. Sigh.#This comic started out as just the first panel and then my brain went 'hold on. Its time to make a dumb joke'#Any disco elysium fans who finished the game probably know the scene I'm doing for the *actual* comic after seeing this <3#Anyways I know in my heart LWJ would roll the worst blunts ever his first time. And then dedicate himself to the rolling craft-#-until he has finally mastered it. He would roll blunts so good that people would hire him and pay him a monthly salary for it.#But he declines. His master blunts are for his beloved and his beloved alone.#wwx would roll above average but after having lwj do it for him he can ever go back.
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Very interesting to me that Abigail preferred Hannibal over Will, but Will had an emotional connection to her that Hannibal didn't - or at least not to the same extent.
I think maybe one day he could've found a stronger bond considering she had also killed and eaten people, but during the series she's really just a tool. Hannibal uses her to like... babytrap Will. And tbf it worked, Will didn't tell Jack what he knew when he discovered Abigail murdered that guy - if he was willing to cover for her, maybe eventually he'd cover for Hannibal too, the 3 of them too intrinsically tied for him to separate, I mean that's the trapping part. But she was just a means to an end, a relationship Hannibal nurtured for his own gain with Will....whereas Will really did view her as his daughter.
Very interesting to me...off-put by Will (especially towards the end of s1), but he had the most vested interest in her well-being out of the pair...
#Thinking abt in s2 when Will still thinks she's dead and asks Freddie not to write about her#And also in s3 when his subconscious takes the form of her#I'm not saying he would have been great or that he's the superior parent or that he's without flaw no no no#(although will graham IS without flaw <33)#But just that he did have a genuine affection for her that Hannibal didnt#Which makes it so much more intriguing that she was always going to Hannibal for things...#Which obviously a lot of that makes sense within the context of him knowing she killed that guy#And her knowing he helped get rid of the body#Like yeah ur both bound by secrets but even THAT was a ploy by Hannibal#But anyway of course you'd go to that person bc that automatically assigns a modicum of trust between you#But she did also just seem to enjoy his company#And listen Will can't be blamed for the end of s1 when he was freaking her out#His brain was literally being boiled in its own juices#He was Not Well#But he was trying#Anyway#Me attempting not to start every post with 'thinking about...'#Several of my drafts start like that and idk what to do#I'm a thinker!! I'm thinking!!#hannibal#hannibal lecter#will graham#hannigram#murder husbands#hannibal nbc
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[PUT INTO PLACE, TIED DOWN AND ARRANGED, AND IS NEVER THE SAME, AGAIN.]<-listen to my favorite songs. VAMPIRES ARE WONDERFUL ARENT THEY. THE FLESH IS SO MUCH MORE DURABLE. SO MUCH STRETCHIER THAN HUMANS. THE STRESS DOESNT KILL A VAMPIRE THE SAME WAY IT DOES A HUMAN. YOU CAN TAKE THEM APART THREAD BY THREAD AND LEAVE THEM WIDE AWAKE WITHOUT WORRY OF THE BRAINMATTER SPOILING UNDER VINEGARY AGONY.
#cw gore#WEEEE WHIPPING OUT ALL MY BELOVED PIXEL HORROR GAME SOUNDTRACKS FOR THIS ONE#STILL A WIP#SORTA. FORKSFORKSFORKS INSPIRED ME TO START WORKIN AT IT AGAIN. AND NOW IT LIVES. IT LIIIVEESS!!!#MOSLT.Y ATLEAST. I MIGHT MESS W IT MORE LATER. WE SHALL SEE. ANYWAY GABRIEL MONTEZ HUH. WOW POOR GUY#THERES A FASCINATING FEELING THAT COMES WITH BEING ON A OPERATING TABLE.AND BEING IN IMMENSE PAIN#ONE OF MY FONDEST MEMORIES IS LAYING ON A DENTIST CHAIR. SHAKING AND INVOLUNTARILY CRYING AFTER MANY MANY#NEEDLES TO MY THE MOUTH. I METABOLIZE THE NUMBING STUFF QUICKLY APPARENTLY. THEY NEEDED ALOT OF NUMBING SHOTS#BUT I WASNT AFRAID OR DISTRESSED. THE DENTIST WAS VERYVERY NICE AND ALSO UH. PRETTY. BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT#THE POINT IS. THAT IT WAS FASCINATING TO REALIZE MY PHYSICAL RESPONSE TO PAIN UNDER A CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENT#I DIDNT KNOW HOW EASY IT WAS TO SHAKE AND TO CRY PRYVIOUS TO THAT EXPERIENCE.MY DENTAL ADVENTURES CONTINUE#THEY CONTINUE TO HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHAT ITS LIKE FOR PAIN TO BOIL AWAY THE TIME. TO DISTORT THE PASSING HOURS AND CONSUME EVERY THOUGHT#DO YOU REMEMBER PAIN? THE MOST SEVERE PAIN IN YOUR LIFE? NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE RED LIGHTS? RED LIGHTS AND SHIFTING FIGURES#NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE PAIN UNRELENTING.PAIN WORLD SHATTERING.PAIN IMMORTAL.CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING PULLED APART#THE HUMAN MIND CAN ONLY WITHSTAND SO MUCH PAIN BEFORE IT SHUTS DOWN AND HIDES.IT NEEDS TO PROTECT ITSELF AFTERALL. PAIN CAN ALTER#PAIN SHIFTS THE CHEMISTY OF THE MIND OF THE FLESH OF THE SOUL. FOR HUMANS ATLEAST. BUT YOU ARE NO LONGER HUMAN#YOU CHOSE OTHERWISE DIDNT YOU BOY.BECAUSE YOU WANTED MORE.STATUS.POWER.APPROVAL.SECURITY.SAFET.Y.#OHHH YOU CAN WITHSTAND THE PAIN FOR THAT. FOR ALL THAT. YOU WERENT TOLD THERE WOULD BE PAIN BUT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WERE PROMISED.#ITS ALL WORTH IT IN THE END. NOW LETS JUST HOPE SOME BLONDE TWERP DOESNT PROVE TO BE STRONGER THAN THE STRONGEST PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE#LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. I LOST MY TRAIN O THOUGHT#anyway dawww poorr gabeee that shit probably huuurrrrtttss but so much time has passed that your body got tired of screaming and squirming#why havnt you passed out yet? maybe you might as well have at this point. like sleeping with your eyes open and your nerves awake#OH HEY FUNFACT ABT THE ART. I FOUGHT W IT ALOT. TOOK A LONG WHILE FOR ME TO BE REMOTELY HAPPY W THIS.#i was thinking abt pixel horror video games when i made it.just as i do with all great things ofc ofc#i love you pixel horror game i love yooouuuuu.i struggled so much w the colors for so LONNGG UHGHGHGH but im finally happy...im finally fre
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Storytime, when I started a second playthrough it was mainly because I craved sudoku. Female Ryder (custom), Scott Ryder / Mass Effect Andromeda (c) Bioware
#mass effect#mass effect andromeda#mass effect fanart#bioware#female ryder#custom ryder#scott ryder#comic#sudoku#remnant decryption puzzle#I'm a sucker for logic puzzles what can I say#but only the ones I can manage are good. the rest are obviously designed poorly.#so. I made a really disgusting soup this week because several years ago my mom bought these sliced... beet artichokes? I dunno. anyway#they were forgotten in the basement freezer and when I moved I decided to bring them with me and see if they could be eaten#and you can (usually) make a really nice soup with them and potatoes etc but problem 1 was that they were not properly cleaned#and since they had been frozen I saw no clear way to like. fix them. so I popped them in the pot thinking it would all boil apart anyway#and here comes problem 2 - it's all supposed to be blended with that hand mixer thing you know? but I had forgotten it while moving#so I only had my electric whisk available for like 1 kg of root vegetables and almost 2 l liquid all needing to be crushed together#and I could not do it in the pot because it might damage the glaze or whatever so I stood there scooping everything into a bowl#and then tried to whisk it together into a smooth soup with my little electric whisk. I shall tell you that this was not a good idea.#anyway so I have been eating this lumpy yellow-grey mess with bits of peel in it and while writing this I still have three more days to go#every evening has been me going 'if you eat it you can have something nice after ok? don't look at it just swallow...'#and two weeks before this I made a really lovely fake palak paneer and it was a week of bliss and I suddenly started writing a lot#and after that came this soup#it's fine. it's fine. I would be hard pressed to cook anything worse than this for next week. so it's fine.
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What is it with fandom and people getting super defensive about the things they like?
I had to read with my own eyes just now that apparently if you don't like [insert troubled and manipulative character here] you just don't like characters with flaws and depth... which is certainly a whole take and kind of reminds me of that one Rick and Morty copypasta from a couple of years ago.
Sometimes people just don't like the things you find profound and meaningful and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.
#jane watches stuff#there has to be room in fandom for people to be able to criticise things or even just voice their own opinions#without others taking it personally#i've seen this several times this week with several (bl) fandom takes and it's just ?? ????#just move on? maybe block if you must?#i happen to think chains of heart is a masterpiece#while the general consensus about the show seems to boil down to GLOVES#and that's completely fine more gloves jokes pls
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kind of frustrating that people took "fat does not equal unhealthy" to mean "fat is not unhealthy." sometimes being obese IS unhealthy & excess fat can cause a lot of problems. ignoring health issues isn't progressive. real "oranges kill people with depression" moment
#i have a lot to say but i think it all boils down to this:#the only reason people think this way is because they experienced body shaming & bullying for their fatness#& instead of gaining a healthy relationship with their body & its needs they went full denial mode#people that aren't fat that think this way are just going with things uncritically which is also bad btw#because when you have decades of proof that being severely overweight can be detrimental to your health#(& no i don't mean fucking. supersize me. i mean medical proof that too much fat causes diseases & early death)#but you're ignoring that because a tiktok influencer that has no medical experience said so#that is a huge lack of critical thinking skills on display & people are gonna listen to that misinformation & some might die#this isn't some light shit that can be waved off as non-harmful because it IS harmful! it is actively hurting people!!#again being unhealthy isn't a moral failing & no one deserves shit for that!! but that's the whole damn point isn't it!!!#militant fat activists are so afraid of their fatness being associated with anything negative they turn right around into ableism#they don't WANT to be considered disabled! because being disabled IS a moral failing to them. disability is abnormal#& of course being morbidly obese is totally normal. because if it wasn't then they'd need to do work & handle an ED#& that's too much to grapple with mentally so. no. they're normal. super normal. don't look at the lifespan of someone over 300lb#btw i am 100% aware that a lot of this is combined with other issues like racism sexism homo/transphobia genuine fatphobia#but also sometimes they really can't operate on someone that can't recover afterwards#like i wouldn't call the vet bigoted & cat-hating for being unable to operate on my 20yo cat#Minnie would simply not survive that. because she is so damn old#unfortunately for Minnie she can't get younger but people CAN lose weight in multiple different ways#& it may seem like the world is attacking you but you really have to train yourself out of automatic bad faith reactions#''you couldn't possibly understand!!'' yeah okay i'm sooo abled & privileged you got me there (<-sarcasm. if you couldn't tell)#just because someone hasn't experienced your EXACT thing doesn't mean they can't relate & haven't gone through similar#it's so difficult to train your brain out of that shit i get that but you really really really have to. or you will die#or at least be miserable#DISCLAIMER: i'm not talking about every person who has even a little fat on their body. fat is NEEDED#but like all things too much of a good thing can cause problems & fat is not exempt#this is about morbid obesity. not someone who's like 160lb that shit is normal#& people need to stop thinking anything over 110lb is fat#because it isn't & i think most people are getting into unhealthy territory at that low of a weight#basically i view being too fat the same as being too thin. they both cause health problems & should be taken seriously
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Fingers crossed for the ice to be melted enough tomorrow that I can go get breakfast and some groceries 🤞
#fingers crossed#it's been ice hell for the last week#today was the first day in forever that it got above freezing- all the way up to like 35°F lol#i spent hours boiling water in a kettle and pouring it on and around my stoop because the ice was really bad and I kept slipping and falling#then spent several hours with a hammer and a broom clearing the ice on the walkway for me and my closest neighbors#felt good to hit a lot of stuff as hard as I could with a hammer but now I am sorrrre#back still all fucked up but being out in the cold was like a big ice pack and it was the only thing that hurt less than when I started#life of faye
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Magenta????
#whole city isn't gonna have water for 3 days to a week potentially cause the water company is fixing something#they aren't being specific about it which is concerning#and everyone got a notice to boil water for the next several days#im not in the city im past it up in the mountains and we're on a well the landlady said we're good#but this shit got me thinking wtf the water company isn't telling folks#there's like 500 people right now that dont have access at all#its weird i dont like it#and i dont like how some locals tested the city water themselves and allegedly had high levels of arsenic in it#I'm in the clear ive tested out here before to play it safe but this is creepy#magenta is my vent word for negative things
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personal vent post/diary entry incoming:
I've struggled on and off over the years with varying degrees of agoraphobia and in the past like year or so I've made massive strides and got to the point where I was able to regularly attend social or otherwise crowded events. since breaking my foot I've gone backwards so much. I'm like terrified to leave my apartment even for work and have missed a lot of it. I've only tried hanging out in public places a handful of times and haven't gone to a single show since I got hurt over a month ago. it's extremely fucking frustrating having so much progress completely lost in a fucking instant
#i was like going through a lot just before this happened but like things were looking up#i was excited to spend my summer having fun with my friends and meeting new people#i havent even been able to properly answer texts besides from a few specific people over the past several days#it feels really unfair#i was supposed to go to a show last night but i bailed at the last minute. i got way too anxious and couldnt do it#im like constantly one extremely minor event away from a panic attack. just at my boiling point 24/7#it really does not help that i have genuine like clinical paranoia about being watched/looked at#and no exaggeration every time i walk into a building everyone looks at me#I thought maybe i was just being paranoid until my friend pointed it out. its unbearable. i cant stand being asked about it#i dont even want to think about it let alone talk about it. but also i cant shut the fuck up about it#im insufferable to myself lmao i cant stop saying 'i used to be able to do that' about shit like dancing and sitting criss cross#or saying 'yeah i was planning on doing that... then i broke my foot....' about shit like going on a float trip etc lmao#like shut up about it already#why do bad things happen to mediocre people
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man this con experience has really opened my eyes to how ableist the world is.
the staff at the event space were literally audibly making fun of people who use scooters and wheelchairs. literally they yelled at a person with a cane to walk faster.
and the courtyard that's outside is only open til 2 am, after that they literally block it off. thing is, the courtyard is the only way for a disabled person in a wheelchair to get back to the hotel (BECAUSE THEY REFUSE TO FIX THE DISABLED ELEVATOR that usually connects the hotel and the venue) so disabled people have nowhere to even (tho someone, probably another disabled person or a friend of one, moved the barricades so that someone could get through). reminder, this con is supposed to be all hours, so it's conceivable that someone could be out that late. there are panels until very late at night.
and once you get to the hotel, you have to scan your hotel key on the door to get inside. there's a button to open the door for ppl in wheelchairs/scooters/etc, sure, but it DOESNT WORK when the hotel is closed for the night, so you just can't fucking get in if you're disabled and you can't navigate opening the door with your wheelchair/scooter. you have to either have someone with you to open the door for you, wait for a helpful stranger, or try to manage it on your own (which, like, OBVIOUSLY DEFEATS THE PURPOSE OF THE HANDICAP BUTTON).
this is a huge fucking problem!
#i don't usually use a scooter in my daily life#like i use it for cons bc i can't handle walking/standing for that amount of time l#so it's really eye opening to me#also a reminder how some disabled people can have privilege over others#and that's not a bad thing#it's just that we have to fight for ALL of us#and its like. idk. its horrible how powerless it makes you feel.#like you can't do anything about it#makes me mad#and so many people just accept it and move on because they're used to this treatment#it's so fucked up!!!!!!#it makes my fucking blood boil!!!!!!#to be clear tho i don't think it's the con who is responsible#it's the hotel and the event space#the con organizers i think are pretty good about things? not perfect but pretty good#i at least know several people in higher positions that care a lot about this#i wish i could demand that they fix it or else the con would be going elsewhere#i wish i had that power#because it's fucking unacceptable how the disabled are treated like second class citizens#or even directly mocked!
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Mad about people making things up on the internet!
#not about one specific thing#it’s about SEVERAL specific things! my blood has boiled!#and people will just BELIEVE it#stuff#about me#kylerrambles
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"A desk would fix me" is such a simple but truthful declaration... I see it, the end is in sight...
Lumbar support...
#I'd need to physically go to IKEA for it... Mother insists we see desks and chairs in person...#So I will reaffirm that tomorrow I suppose.#It would be nice to have a desk where I can file relevant information.#And have my drawing tablet on and such.#Effectively I envision productivity from it.#Using my laptop as I currently am is going to turn me into the Joker if it hasn't already.#I don't know why I am thinking about this currently...#It just seems like an obvious solution to me.#When I categorise the source of many woes.#I want a desk so I can do remote work more efficiently.#So I can do online school maybe...#And lessen the sense that I am disappointing my mother. Giggles.#I have some kind of attachment problem regarding her I realise.#Not sure how to solve that imminently. Like most things I see it as several steps in a distant future that I will realise.#It will start with... getting a desk.#I think I need to decorate my room before getting a desk.#When we first moved here my mother for whatever reason thought putting the bed in first made the most sense.#Your honour we cannot wallpaper that wall because of it ❤️#I am rambling... My body temperature is absurd so I am boiling alive.#delete later.#Goodnight everyone. Again.#Mwah. Or meow. Meows at you...
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‘nooo they can’t make an animated zelda movie! if they make a zelda movie it needs to be live action!’ biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you BITING YOU BIT
#urusai majou#it's the videogame equivalent of 'lord of the rings would be better if it was more like game of thrones'#for the record though zelda is something I don't think could ever be adapted into a movie regardless of medium#and I'm saying that as someone who was genuinely charmed by the mario movie#I think the difference is that the mario games have a very consistent identity so like. there's a clear list of criteria there#just make it cute and colourful and not ashamed of what it is and you're golden#zelda on the other hand is a lot more personal. it's a story you're specifically supposed to insert yourself into#everyone has a different idea of who link is#it's telling that the internet can't even agree on whether or not link should have verbal dialogue. much less how he'd sound if he did#adapting it into a movie would naturally mean losing that in favour of one fixed canon version of link#which eiji aonuma has specifically said several times he doesn't want#so like. yeah somehow I'm not altogether sure there is anything to the rumours tbh#and as far as live action nintendo adaptations in general go. have you Looked at the art styles for any of these games#literally the only nintendo ips that wouldn't look straight up weird in live action are metroid and Maybe fire emblem#but again. only if it was shadow dragon or the tellius games#anything else and you'd run into the same issue of steamrolling players' choices with a fixed canon#uhg idk. ultimately it all boils down to the mentality currently floating around that live action movies are the zenith of art#and they're just. not#sometimes the ideal medium for a story is the one it was originally written in#and zelda is definitely one of those things tbh
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hey. maybe you shouldn't write a book review if you haven't even finished the fucking book. btw.
#i see shit like DNF AT 32% on goodreads all the time and it annoys the shit out of me#how can you give a good review if you havent even been through all the source material??#how can you objectively say you know it well enough to write a review?#especially when its below 75%#or even 50%#It annoys me so much#goodreads reviews in general annoy me alot because#people cant seem to tell the goddamn difference between i didnt like it and it was bad#for a website about reading#the users can be severely lacking in reading comprehension#anyway ive always felt like this but it sort of boiled over last night ig.#because i read a book that went so so hard. And it has 4 stars which is like. pretty hard to get. in my opinion.#And someone gave it a low rating because they listened to 32% of the audiobook and didnt care for one of the voice actors.#and then said they got the physicsl book to read and then didnt read any of it bc they didnt want to#And thats fine! But like! You are not the person that should be writing a review about it! If you havent experienced the whole thing!#>:(
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Iirc Griffin did something similar in Amnesty, when Aubrey succeeded on a roll that should've saved another character's life, but it didn't work and I don't think they ever explained why
Yeah!! And in Amnesty, Ned used a point of LUCK. To get a 12. That in MOTW is a guaranteed success. You do not take harm in Protect Someone if you use luck. Also, a fucking shotgun does not DO 7 points of harm anyway. It’s 3. And he fucking KILLED him. Never forgiving Griffin for that one >.>
#that’s not just cheap it’s /explicitly/ against the rules#I don’t ever like if a DM is giving ‘me vs you’ vibes to the players in any form but cheating and lying is the worst#ask#anonymous#like dgmw I love Griffin and most of the time quite enjoy his DMing but several times he has now made me /boiling/ mad#not super happy about the way he has handled Devo’s religious trauma either. like Travis is great#incredible character. he’s got some huge flaws but you also get why Devo is how he is and sometimes he’s super right. but Griffin has too#much been like ‘what if the church wasn’t so bad : )’ like Travis had to /push/ for the flashback trauma scene w Guidance to be something#upsetting and abusive. like let him have a history#taz amnesty spoilers#also not a fan of his new ‘no backstories’ thing#like yeah it can get too much or awkward but they can also be great??? you don’t want to live in them but you want them to give you a rich#basis for where the charcater in-story starts. ??? it causes no issues if you do that?#and it’s fun to occasionally have them be relevant even just for a goofy one off. I had a player be a changeling who had helped a coup in#another country and her co-revolutionary she was with and close to turned on her for racial reasons bc she was a changeling when he found ou#out and tried to kill her and they have a mutual ‘if I ever see you again’ and the experience dramatically influenced how she interacted w#other characters in the campaign bc baggage. but she never even /brought it up/ to a Pc or npc. it’s just rich character to work with#you gotta trust players and yourself a little not let having details overwhelm a story it’s not hard#and if it starts to happen it ain’t hard to correct
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