#seven sentence fic meme

[fille-lioncelle]

A little while ago @aimmyarrowshigh tagged me to post seven sentences from my current wip so here goes!

“Bit weird with me old and flabby and you…”

He gestures in her general direction and winks, and Mari grins back.

“Maybe Santa’s got himself a sugar baby. Don’t judge.”

It makes him laugh, his face scrunched up in delight easily recognizable even behind the large fluffy beard she helped him put on. He’s even let her rouge his cheeks a little. Honestly, he looks adorable, but Mari’s not going to tell him that before they’re done.

December fic who?

In turn I tag @sequencefairy @blacktofade @modestytreehouse @irazor and everybody whose Tumblr names I currently can't think of I'm sorryyyyy

[scealaiscoite]

⋆˚࿔ seven word prompts for seven sentence fics 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

¹⁾ “really? i never knew that about you.”

²⁾ “come on, don’t pretend for my sake.”

³⁾ “looks like they left in a hurry.”

⁴⁾ “who’s calling you this late at night?”

⁵⁾ “seriously, were you dropped as a baby?!”

⁶⁾ “i could eat a horse.” “please don’t.”

⁷⁾ “ice cream? at three in the morning?”

⁸⁾ “get your ass here, right fucking now!”

⁹⁾ “i really did care about you, y’know.”

¹⁰⁾ “you’re not going home, you need stitches!”

¹¹⁾ “we need to get you warm, fast.”

¹²⁾ “how long have we been driving for?”

¹³⁾ “[name]- “ “don’t start. [boss]’s already deafened me.”¹⁾

¹⁴⁾ “what’s a single bed between three friends?”

¹⁵⁾ “why are you in just a towel?!”

¹⁶⁾ “i’m your bodyguard, not your damn friend.”

¹⁷⁾ “swallow your pride.” “i’d rather swallow concrete.”

¹⁸⁾ “you look really good in my money.”

¹⁹⁾ “i said i’d help. didn’t say how.”

²⁰⁾ “come, sit. i made you some dinner.”

²¹⁾ “hide! they’re coming your way, and fast!”

²²⁾ “i knew you had feelings for them.”

²³⁾ “you’re exhausted, pet. let me mind you.”

²⁴⁾ “[name]’s in the hospital. it’s not good.”

²⁵⁾ “but you promised it’d all be okay!”

²⁶⁾ “their cover’s been blown- get them out!”

²⁷⁾ “who’d buying you flowers that isn’t me?”

²⁸⁾ “i was stupid enough to believe you.”

²⁹⁾ “isn’t paying for dinner a date thing?”

³⁰⁾ “for you, i’d do anything.” “i know.”

[allatariel]

Seven Sentence Sunday

Thank you to @gordopickett who tagged me two Sundays ago <3 I am so slow!!

Tagging: @madamairlock @brynnmclean, @callioope, @toodeeplyinvested, @tiltedsyllogism

Tagging more (because tumblr is broken): @spectral-musette, @narilwrites, @sparkleplatypuswriter, @moocowmoocow, @melyzard

And anyone else who would like to <3

So, this is a brand new season 4 standard issue fix-it, because I have no focus and am going with the flow—when it decides to actually flow. The idea came to me while I was writing some tags on an imagine your OTP style post on Friday night and then proceeded to stay up way too late writing this as a path to that. And going back to check my memory of Graciana this morning, I think I misremembered her as 4–5 instead of 5–6 years old, something to fix later! This may pull in the other season 4 snippets I've already posted, not sure yet. But definitely leads to Brazil! Currently calling it We Are Fortunate Ones I Swear. Also, I can't seem to limit myself to sharing seven sentences, so here's an additional twelve with it!

“Mamá!” Graciana exclaimed again, with even more gusto and a touch of sass, and Aleida’s attention snapped to her. Her daughter’s attention was fixed on something outside her window and her face lit up as she pointed. “I see tío!” Aleida’s brow furrowed as she followed the line of her pointing hand to see a familiar man holding a black umbrella stepping off the curb to cross the street in front of them. They’d only met a few times and Graciana was already calling him “tío”? Before Aleida could even begin to process that thought, Graciana had jabbed the button to roll down her window and called to him at top volume. “Tío Sergei!” Sergei looked startled and then smiled warmly when he recognized them. “Miss Graciana! Hello!” he called and she giggled as he hurried over to her and bent down some, holding his umbrella over the open window. “You’re getting rain in your mother’s lovely car,” he chided her gently before giving Aleida a nod and waving. “Hello Aleida.” Graciana shyly leaned back towards Aleida, her prior boldness gone but her smile remained bright. Aleida smirked at her daughter’s sudden shift and addressed Sergei. “What are you doing walking in this mess?” “Oh, it’s not so bad, only a little drizzle. My hotel is right there”—he pointed behind him and then at the McDonald’s across the street—”and I’m just getting some dinner.” “We’re having ice cream bars!” Graciana found her voice again and Sergei chuckled as Aleida grinned and wrapped her arm around her. “After dinner, there may be ice cream,” Aleida corrected Graciana without any heat and then looked up at Sergei smiling at them a little distantly. “Would you like to join us?” she asked without really thinking of anything but the fondness she’d seen between him and Margo at dinner only a few nights ago.

[mixtapestar]

seven sentence sunday

thanks @freneticfloetry as always for the tag <3

Roy groans and rubs at his eyes. He wants to figure his shit out, for Keeley's sake. For Jamie's sake, too—not because of his fucking blue balls, though. Roy's pretty sure Jamie would let him edge him for days and cry in relief when Roy finally let him come.

No, he knows it's shit to be strung along, and they all already know how he feels about Keeley. She's clearly on board with this thing with Jamie in a way she wasn't on board with getting back together with him, and he needs to be sure he isn't in this as a way to take what he can get. Jamie's fit, and he made for a good fuck—and fuck if that isn't a bizarre thought—but it's not like Roy had ever looked at him before all this and thought he'd make for a good cuddle.

Tagging @valonia47 @goldiegaytime @richmondtillidie @footnotesandendings with no pressure!

[thesokovianaccords]

seven sentence sunday

I was tagged last week by the fabulous @lavellenchanted - and wow did she have great timing bc I actually made progress on this steve/peggy friends to lovers au that haunts my every waking hour

He pressed a kiss to her hair. “I think you mean my—“

“My jumpers, thank you very much. How does that phrase go—finder’s keepers?” She dodged a pinch to her side with a laugh. “I can pretend I’ve just nicked it off you and that you’re in the other room, about to storm in and complain that you’ve got no clean tops left. Not quite as good as this, but a fair substitute until we’re back here.” 

“I knew letting you borrow that sweater freshman year was a mistake.”

I tag @doctorhelena, @formerlyir, @3pirouette, @cafecitowriter, and anyone else who hasn't been tagged yet or who also made progress on their WIP they want to share :D

[literateowl]

Seven Sentence Sunday

Thank you for the tags friends 💖 @carlos-in-glasses @lemonlyman-dotcom @sznofthesticks @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad

Another bit of the April Fools prank fic that I should be posting sometime this week

“Did you tape one to Lou's tank?” 

“Yeah, he has a picture of himself. Like that Spider-Man in an office meme.” 

Carlos let out a full body laugh at that. “Oh my God, okay that one's hilarious.” 

Carlos got up and pointed a finger at TK that was accompanied by a very non-threatening smirk. “Now, I am going to go take a shower and if I get jump scared by lizard pictures while I'm in there, I'm coming after you.”

Bonus:

Lou, just trying to chill in his tank but one of his dads is a weirdo.

Open tag 💜

[llondonfog]

Hii it’s me again for the meme fic ask what about a scenario for the potion!au where Lilia learns Silver is missing and is just blasting Crowley’s office door down demanding how this happened

[✐meme] three sentence fic meme

by the time that crowley had been old enough to know anything, the general had already become something of a folklore legend, a lone phantom who had taken his leave into the dark, protective shield of the briar valley forests, never to emerge again. to fae far and wide, it would have been impossible in those days to have graduated through a very lengthy childhood without one time or another pretending to be the nightmare general of briar valley and his stalwart companions, driving back the poison taint that threatened their ancient existence— to imagine what horrendous foes and wicked creatures they had to overcome in their desperate, cursed bid to save the queen.

it is something much more frightening than the stories of the old general that bursts into his office like a vengeful whirlwind, doors cracking in protest against the stone wall as they tremble meekly against their hinges, and his poor desk is seized within the crushing grip of a rigid pair of clawed, white-knuckled hands.

(not the maple top, he mourns, a near tear glinting behind his mask as the glossy wood creaks ominously)

"where is my son," lilia vanrouge snarls at him with all the fury and fear of a panicked father, and crowley quails miserably behind his rapidly splintering desk. "what have you allowed to happen, where is my son?!"

oh, sevens above, how was he to explain this?

[colorfulmetaphors]

Maul fic rec because yes please

Hello friendos. In the last few months or so, I took a break from tumblr and in that time read through the near-entirety of the (maul centered) Maul fic on ao3. It was a blast and I wanted to make a rec list because these were amazing and I want to gush over them. my goal here is to rec something for any maul mood you may be in. there's flash (short) fic, medium length, and long-ass novel fic; some fluff, some angst, some character studies; i tired to hit each Maul Genre. And I'm categorizing them because organizing things is fun. So:

O66 fallout:

To The Wild by @d0nkarnage (43,251 words; rated M)

This one is by far my fav of the Maul and Ahsoka team up during O66 (fall) ones. Giant buff gay Ahsoka? Yes. Good. But the greatest draw of this fic is the way in which these two characters learn to understand each other. I like how hostile it begins and how the author shows Ahsoka's opinion changing over time. And of course, because my focus is going to be Maul, I loved the way the Ahsoka POV catches his acerbic demeanor and lets him just be kind of an asshole. Then that first chapter of Maul POV hits to reframe everything and youre like *dog in a burning room meme* this is fine. It balances tone really well, with growth built on small moments, parallels I didn't expect to punch me in the heart, lines of dialogue that bring every that's crashing beneath up to the surface, and just being fucking funny. Every other line has me going Oooooooo that's some good-ass writing. Love it, please read it and enjoy the image of Ahsoka and Maul arm wrestling while you try not to sob over the ways theyve learned to care for each other.

Cocaine and Abel by storm_warning (18,431 words; rated T)

On the other side of Maul and Ahsoka team up (fall), we have my favorite of the Maul and Ahsoka team up (balance), or 'Ole Palps gets defeated. Not only is this fic awesome, so is the playlist (which the author has linked in the notes) that accompanies it. My favorite part of this fic is Maul's denial, or his inability to understand/confront himself. He's working through allying with Ahsoka, seeing his master defeated, and figuring out where his place is, all while fighting through the horror of [his entire life.] It all coalesces into my favorite line: "--and then his knife is letting the blood out of the Anomid’s throat, and it runs gushing and thin in the rain, and all the wretched voices are quiet with shock." Switching the subject of the sentence in a moment of intense emotional struggle is such a clever use of language, reminiscent of Windham using the passive voice to signify Maul's dissociation, and I went back and re-read the passage like seven times. Read this one if you want to lie awake at night, haunted by birdsong.

The Heavy Center by bluestalking (41,790 words; rated G)

This one snuck up on me! Not because I didn't like it, but because it didn't sound like something I would normally be into. But I was determined to read almost everything in the tag so I tried it and I'm so glad I did. It's a post-O66 (fall) fic that centers around Padme, Ahsoka, Maul, and Obi-Wan. And It's one of those fics where I have to stop every few paragraphs or so to just repeat a sentence to myself and roll the rhythm over my teeth. The turns of phrase are exquisite. I really appreciate how reasonable Maul is in this fic. I feel like in a lot of Obimaul scenarios, he doesn't get to be the one to say hold on wait a minute let's talk. I think this one does a great job showing the shift in his motivation/reasoning and how that affects the way he approaches other people. I also like how there's so much he and Obi-Wan don't talk about. They skirt around stuff because its difficult to confront, but they find a way anyway.

Smaul:

Keep Running by @greenreticule (two parts, combined 26,094 words; rated T)

God bless Maul is rescued young fics. I think this series gets the exact balance of aw what a cute bby and oh shit that is one traumatized child how tf do I raise him. I like that the relationship between Dex and Maul isn't easy, but it is careful. I like that Dex messes up and that Maul is a rebellious fearful angry curious little guy, prone to all the folly of any young child, let alone one raised by Sidious. And I love that those behaviors appearing are signs of healing! The world-building in this one is really cool too. I found myself enjoying the locations and imagining the spaces around the characters. And HOLY SHIT the trans feelings in part two. Please heed the author's warnings carefully. I was having a great time, enjoying smaul, and then felt like I got hit by a train. It's good, but it's painful, but it's good.

Twin Suns/Kenobi on Tatooine:

the past is another planet by anonymous (329 words, rated T)

I so admire authors who can say a lot with very little. This snippet of an altered Twin Suns uses action to convey thought very well, touching on themes without ever naming them. The last line left me breathless.

Just This Once by A_Hodgepodge_of_Nothings (35,451 words, rated E)

This fic is exceedingly warm. It made me happy reading it, and I had to pace myself-- stop myself from finishing it all in one go. This is a desert hermits fic in which Maul and Obi-Wan's relationship develops very slowly and naturally, spaced over time skips that flow together really well. The Maul would be good with kids, actually, representation we need. The learning to be vulnerable around each other and learning how to rely on someone else scenes we also need. Just two tired, sad men clinging onto what little hope remains between them. And some chapters have art!

The Nature of the Beast by Carmarthen (@carmarthenfan) (1,384 words; rated G)

After I've spent 20 minutes staring at the ceiling, despondent over Maul, I turn to this fic for relief. Maul and Obi-Wan adopt a puppy. What's not to love. The author does some really interesting world-building regarding the Tusken raiders, and Maul himself is curmudgeonly to cover his affection. He's a stinker who buys things he knows his partner will like but also intentionally spooks him because he can. Peak Maul.

TPM AUs:

The Lost & The Forgotten by @shadowmaat (5,651 words; rated G)

It was really difficult to pick just one work by shadowmaat. I highly recommend checking out their entire Maul catalogue. In the end, I chose this one because I was instantly charmed by its opening. Maul shouting "Fight me!" and Obi-Wan replying like no lets have lunch made me laugh and I was ready for the What If The Naboo Duel Never Happened ride. I love Maul's characterization in this one. There are touches to his presentation that I subconsciously look for now, and this one hit all the marks: his strange brand of kindness, his maladaptive coping behaviors, and the brusqueness that covers intense care. Their use of character voice is really powerful and I enjoyed each swap in POV. Maul and Obi-Wan being mutually stranded (abandoned?) alters their dynamic from the more standard one-saving-the-other, and I enjoyed the reciprocity of their equal standing. And if this one doesn't pique your interest please check out the Tooka Cafe AU. Guess I'm not just picking one ha. Her Twin Suns AU is also very good...... FUCK. moving on.

Leaps of Faith, Acts of Kindness by @trixree (1,298 words; rated T)

My favorite type of fic are the ones where Maul and Obi-Wan just talk. This is exactly how I think a conversation post-Maul-losing-on-Naboo would go. Maul's fear and courage are on equal display-- Maul is a collection of conflicting traits and I think this fic shows that with clarity. He's stoic but expressive, terrifying yet terrified, paranoid and all too ready to trust, and all of that conveyed through an outside POV . There are so many gaps in this fic, in a good way. The characters don't have all the answers and neither does the reader, but there's enough for the characters to act and enough for the reader to understand why they act in that way. That's really damn difficult to do. The dialogue is strong and carries the narrative without requiring a lot of description, only needing some emotive action to convey what's going on in the characters' heads. 10000000/10

Staring into open flame by SLWalker (@sl-walker) (100,526 words; rated M)

To me, this is THE Maul fic. It’s an insightful dive into his character; it’s stunningly beautiful in both language and composition; the ending was so satisfying that I immediately wanted to read the entire thing again. In it, Maul is found by the Jedi after Naboo, but the fic takes place during TCW (Wild Space novel) and bounces back and forth between the present and the past as Obi-Wan and Maul work through their relationship. And by God. The parallels the author draws. The way she uses those jumps to juxtapose different scenes. Reading it the second time was even better because I knew how things connected and could further appreciate how carefully they'd been woven. This fic made me fall in love with Maul’s character all over again and that’s the highest compliment I can give. (And honestly, anything by Steff is going to be a banger. I haven’t read all her stuff but Im confident it’s all good because her mastery of craft and understanding of character are that solid. AU where Bail Organa takes Maul in? I know nothing about Bail but that one ended up being my favorite of her work. A series where the base premise is just “maul has wings?” im already in the car with a full tank of gas let’s go. "WORDS" IS REALLY GOOD. "IT" IS REALLY GOOD. and im terrified to read her Twin Suns internal monologue because *mr incredible voice* im not strong enough. uh. This one tho. Please read this one.)

There my heart lays sweetly in the velvet moor by @texasdreamer01 (12,856 words; rated E)

I'm incredibly fond of this fic. Reading it feels like nesting into the couch, fireplace going, thick blanket on, and shaking up a snow-globe to watch the sparkles settle around this little encapsulated world. It's mesmerizing, comforting. Has that oooooooo a damn good writer wrote this pizzazz. In this one, Obi-Wan didn't "kill" Maul on Naboo, and afterwards they keep running into each other as time goes on, until those coincidences become purposeful. The author is great at describing places in a way thats tangible. I can hear the scenes, feel them. You can tell a lot of thought went into the smallest details. The vocabulary in this one is also great? Precise words are used in ways you wouldn't expect within the sentence structure. It makes reading it fun and engaging, like playing tag with phrases. I really really like this version of Maul; he's a little more loose than your typical TPM-era Maul, but he has the same awkwardness and endearing happiness in doing things efficiently/well. Settle in!

Misc Imperial Era:

Mannequin Dream by anonymous (1,477 words; rated T)

Maul/Rex as a thing kinda hit me out of left field but I think I like it? Maul's characterization in Maul/Rex fics is always so !sharp and this one is no different. The description alone sold me on it, and the content (Maul and Rex having a philosophical discussion about purpose and ideology and solitude) sealed the deal.

he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist by trophygoth (2,131 words; rated M)

What initially caught my attention about this one is how Maul thinks about his past self. He feels matured, aged, changed from who he was when he was younger, and i think that that’s significant because his ability to self-reflect is initially so stunted. It's not a long fic; it’s a post-nightmare scene that captures how Maul and Obi-Wan have come to understand each other. They have gentle banter, intentional body language, and Maul's inner-monologue is knowing. It also portrays Maul well, with his tempered contemplation, rough edges, and warped thinking. "(He is still young enough that he allows himself to quantify this feeling as pain)," knocked me tf out.

TCW (ending where my love of Maul began, in true Maul fashion):

Far Above, Far Below by nobody_expects_the_inquisitorius (@nobody-expects-the-inquisitorius) (788 words; rated G)

Gen fic has a special place in my heart. Maul's venator rampage is probably my (second?) favorite TCW scene, because it's so calculating and brutal, but it also carries a sense of simultaneous hopelessness and determination to survive. Of you want a "monster?" Fine. And I feel like this internal-monologue fic does a great job of showing why Maul is feeling that way. The prose is incredibly pretty and it's so... desolate. Yet rebellious. It has the same gravitas as the scene it frames, and I think that's really impressive. It's in the verbs, evocative and visceral. I want to plant flowers around this fic, like offering respect at a sorrow-laden grave.

Until I am Whole by dimtraces (@doorsclosingslowly) (1,934 words, rated M)

Maybe I am slightly cheating on my parameters with this one, but I don't care because I love this fic so much. This one is Savage-focused, but his relationship with Maul lies at the center. (If you want something more Maul-focused with a similar tone, try Keep quite still and wait ((2,984 words, rated M)) by the same author ((yes I'm doing two in one because it's my list and no one can stop me)) listen dimtraces is where I go for Brothers) [Both have] everything: character work, beautiful writing, and that sweet sweet ~~~~~body horror~~~~~. This one is about Savage's lost arm, but that's such a simplistic way to summarize it. The imagery is visceral and the way the author follows a single thread through time/emotion is extremely well done. I want to talk about it a bunch but I also don't want to spoil it because seeing the way it unfolds is a large part of the appeal. It's spooky! It's got heart! It's gorgeous! Please read it and go-- go-- feral with me. (falls to knees in anguish)

and then the singing by @sunsetofdoom (10,007 words, rated T)

Okay. This happened to be the last fic I read as I made my way through the tag and worked off of my list of to-reads. And it's the best way to end. If you want just a straight-up character study of Maul, this is the one for you. It's haunting in a way that has stuck with me, and, I feel, will never leave because it has fundamentally altered my brain chemistry. I wept repeatedly while reading it-- it's so tender, but blunt about who Maul is. I'm struggling to put my thoughts into words, because it's not the kind of thing you talk about; it's the kind of thing you just feel. To try and give you a synopsis, then: it follows Maul's life from pre-TPM into Rebels (but is mainly focused during TCW) and has him braid his experiences with various songs (mostly old English folk), poems, and lullabies, all while the narrative hovers around a theme of clinging to individuality/person-hood, the part of him I hold most dear. It's triumphant and mournful, victory and tragedy. It's "This is why I love Maul." It's just-- achingly, beautifully, written. Achingly, perfectly, Maul. I'm going to start crying if I talk about it any more, so. Actually, too late. Pressing save as draft and coming back later. <3

Those are the recs! Thanks for taking a look and please come talk to me if you end up reading any. (or if you want even more recs, because I've got 'em) If any of the authors happen to see this, thank you! Your work has made this dive so enjoyable. You've made me laugh and cry and send impassioned raving messages to my friends. I appreciate you posting and allowing me to swim in your worlds for a while.

[serenescribe]

Three sentence meme!

Lilia staying up at night to comfort young Silver who had a nightmare~

[✐meme] three sentence fic meme [✐] ficlet frenzy

Spindly fingers smooth over a trembling back, an arm curling a little tighter around Silver as Lilia pulls him closer into his warm embrace. "Steady now, dear," he coos, his words calm as he feels his son hiccup in his arms, trying to get his breathing under control. "It was only a nightmare; I am perfectly fine, see?"

Still, for all his concentrated efforts to keep his composure, ensuring his words are measured and soothing, the fae cannot help the sliver of uncertainty that has wedged itself within his heart — Silver is only seven, fresh into his training for his future knighthood, so how is it that he is already having such vivid nightmares about his father's demise?

(Another part of him wonders — as he soothes the boy, tucking him back into bed as he sweeps stray strands of hair out of his eyes — how has he earned such loving affection to the extent where Silver's worst fear is to see Lilia die before his very eyes?)

[ralphlanyon]

TC tag game

Tagged by @spudodell!

Rules: Answer the questions and tag other TC fans!

1. "He would not fucking say that" only they did and it's canon. When/who?

Not that they're necessarily out of character, but whenever Renault is clearly projecting her own internalized misogyny onto the characters (e.g. Laurie calling Nurse Adrian a "silly little dumbbell" at one point or the narrative voice commenting on Aunt Olive's lack of makeup), I am like

(Granted, her other contemporary novels that actually feature female protagonists are even worse about this… 🫠)

2. Did they kiss in the study? Yes/no + why you are 100% correct about this.

Yes, absolutely! I previously wrote this meta about why I think so here. But here are a few more reasons:

"Over and over, during those first months, Laurie had relived the scene in the study, guarding it with fierce secrecy as a savage guards a magic word." It would be quite odd for Laurie to constantly relive that last meeting with Ralph and guard it with "fierce secrecy," if Ralph had done nothing more than chastise him, give him an old book, and turn him out of his study. So something intimate must have happened there that Laurie still obsessively thinks about.

The infamous ellipsis after "Come here a moment" was deliberately added to the 1959 edition (one of the only additions Renault makes, rather than subtractions), which I think is probably to help clarify the significance of that pause.

Laurie's proprietary behavior towards Ralph at the party, especially him staking claim of Ralph in front of Bim (and frankly a lot of about Laurie's behavior towards Ralph in general), makes a lot more sense if they had a "moment" together in the past and both of them never got over it or each other. It would help explain why Laurie instinctively feels he does have a claim over Ralph (as the Odysseus to Ralph's Penelope, to use Bim's analogy), as well as why Ralph continues to carry a torch for him after seven years and countless other relationships.

3. Mandatory question about Ralph's alleged tattoos.

To be honest I don't think he has any tattoos yet (or at least any in areas that would be normally exposed to the public), or else Laurie would have commented on them like he comments on just about everything else about Ralph's appearance. I could see him getting some in the future though, maybe some nautical-themed ones and probably at least one related to Laurie because he's sentimental like that.

4. 53 vs 59 edition: quote a line or paragraph that is better in the edition you like the least.

I generally prefer reading the '53 edition mainly for the extra bits, but there are several stylistic writing choices I do prefer in the '59 edition. One of them is Ralph telling Laurie, "I didn't think you had that much bitchery in you." He says "cattiness" in the '53 edition, but Laurie is very bitchy (and Ralph likes that about him!).

5. Which TC character would feel right at home here on tumblr dot com?

Bim or Sandy! They would be bringing the tea. ☕️

6. Tag yourself at Alec's birthday party.

Probably part of the couple holding hands in dead silence, lol.

7. Post a TC meme.

I have a lot of memes in my TC tag, but here's one I made a while ago:

8. Easy to talk about who deserved better. Who deserved worse?

Dave because he bores me (the worst thing a literary character can do). Also Ralph's parents and Jeepers.

9. You can break the fourth wall (at any point in the novel) and say a single sentence to our protagonist, Laurie Odell. What do you say?

"You are intensely afraid of abandonment which is why you keep trying to leave people before they can leave you. (Please go to therapy.)"

10. What's a question you have about TC? One you haven't found an answer for yet.

What do Laurie and Ralph do for their post-war careers? There have been several excellent ideas in post-canon fics, but I haven’t quite settled on my own headcanon for them.

Tagging: not sure who hasn’t been tagged yet, but feel free to nab if you see this!

[humanperryfic]

i'm coming here from perryverse and just like. how do I get as good at writing as you are? what's your secret?

Awww thank you! Crazy that you're saying that since I think I've actually improved a lot since writing that fic.

Obviously the number one answer I have is going to be to just write, a lot. I got good as fast as I did because I bingewatched Phineas and Ferb in the first three days of the original Covid lockdown in March 2020, and then wrote a ton of fic because I was lucky to just be insanely bored.

So write. Write a lot. Write when you can. Slap it all out there on the internet. See what sticks.

Answer number two is going to be read, a lot. But not just passively. Read great fanfiction. Ask yourself why it's great. Read terrible fanfiction. Ask yourself why you hate it. Read real books. Ask yourself about what's going on that you like or don't like, especially between the two mediums of print and fic (because they are different! Also, "real" books tend to use a broader variety of vocabulary, which is always good). Read fic written by people who write English as a second, third, fourth+ language (assuming you're a native english speaker). Ask yourself why you would write/rewrite things to flow a certain way.

Read with an eye for things you want to do yourself.

Answer number three? Always have a little bit of outside perspectives and advice coming into your mind. The best way I've found to keep learning at this point is following people that give advice on writing particular characters or things. @cripplecharacters, @writingwithcolor, and @howtofightwrite are some of my favorite blogs to read whenever they post, and they have invaluable advice.

You're never too good of a writer to not learn new things or unlearn biases/misconceptions.

Answer number four is to keep things rotating in your mind. Not always at the front. But somewhere back there. Keep a running list of ideas on your phone or whatever somewhere I have a Discord server that's literally just me, where I keep my ideas for various things sorted, as well as a Noteful notebook for just...random ideas and plotting things out.

You never know what kind of random idea could be your most interesting fic idea.

Answer number five: Don't throw out any of your writing. Keep things around in whatever form you write in. Microsoft Word, Google Drive, whatever. Keep things around, even if they suck and all you wrote is a sentence and a half. You never know what you might come back to...and hey, keeping the old stuff is a great way to look back and see how far you've come.

Every scrap of writing tells a story. Keep it.

Answer number six: With that in mind, do try out writing an entire fic, plot bunny to published, in the AO3 editor at least once. You have to finish it in the month timespan. You have to publish it. It's a challenge, best suited for a shorter oneshot (though I've done it with fics up to 16.5k words lol), but it'll tell you something about how you write.

(If you fall short, copy/paste it all into a separate document and finish it. Don't waste your work.)

Answer seven: Plot brackets. Plot your fic out by writing the very very basics of what you want to happen in square brackets (ex. [perry goes home] [candace teases him about having a crush on someone]). Fill it in in whatever order you want. Make the brackets short and sweet. Use meme references. Or whatever. Make them stupid. Whatever gets the plot and vibes out onto the page.

[insert summarizing quip here]

Answer eight (the random stuff that I can't do a whole paragraph on each): Onelook Reverse Thesaurus. Lifechanger. When you can, write with your internet/cell service turned all the way off so you don't fall into a research/distraction rabbit hole. Try to write ten words every single day. Take a look at TVTropes every so often- Tropes are Tools, and you should know what's in your toolbox. Write about things you're obsessed with. Write the bad stuff. Write the dumb ideas. Write for the fandom with ten fics.

It doesn't matter. Just write it.

[sapphire11]

all the words you didn't mean for me to hear

Part 2 of 'Secret Messages' a Break up era Tarlos fic Read Part 1 Here

Hello Again Everyone! Still posting this fic in 'mini' parts here on tumblr before releasing the whole thing on ao3. (still mostly because I need some encouragement and validation despite not feeling ready to publish it yet there and you all have always been supportive) Think of this as a little gift for being wonderful followers/mutuals 💛

Counting this as my Seven Sentence Sunday (Sneak Peak Sunday in my world) Thanks so much for the tags @ramblingdisaster73 & @ravens-words

Thank you to everyone who reached out with encouragement and kind words on the last part! (let me know if you want to be added to the tag list for this fic or my Tarlos fics) @chaotictarlos @firstprince-history-huh @bubblesandroses8

We could lose him.

His own voice echoes in his mind as he shoves open the door to the stairwell. 

We could lose him.

His own voice is too loud in his head. Drowning out all others. Nancy’s reassurances, Captain Vega’s attempts at hopeful optimism. They’re all lost in the terror that grips him by the throat.

We could lose him.

His own voice shaking with fear that he doesn’t want to feel anymore. He needs to feel something else. Anything else. So he collapses on the top step of the stairs and roughly pulls out TK’s phone, headphones coming with it.

We could lose him.

His own voice echoes and he needs to drown it out with another.  

Hey babe … shit. Let me just …. *background noises, buttons being pressed rustling … 

Hey Carlos.

He turns and settles his back against the wall, knees drawn up to his chest, closing his eyes and allowing TK’s voice to block out everything else. 

How are you? I hope you’re doing okay. Nancy let me know that she’s still in touch. I’m glad; even if I think she only told me because she’s trying to get more information out of me about why we … well about what happened.

I hope that you are letting our friends be there for you. They’ve been trying to be there for me. Even as scattered as we all are at work. Paul still texts. Marjan sends me funny memes. Mateo begs for Marvel movie nights every time we have a night off together. It’s not the same, but it’s something. Plus, Doctor Matterson has been telling me to lean into those friendships; to that support. It helps. Sometimes.

On one hand it is worrisome that TK is so freely admitting that he’s struggling in these messages. On the other hand, he is grateful that TK still in some way was turning towards him, trusting him with the truth of his feelings. Of course he wishes that he’s trusted him at the time, but he knows how much it must have cost TK to admit this even in a message. He knows how even saying the words out loud can feel like you are giving them power over you. 

At the same time, he thinks about the way he pushed everyone away during the breakup. He didn’t want them to have to choose, he wanted TK to be able to vent and have people that were safe, away from Carlos, as TK seemed to want to keep them apart. He should have had more faith in his ex, in TK, in person he has always known him to be. Of course he’d want Carlos to have the same support, and of course he wouldn’t tell them anything. 

Other times it honestly just makes me miss you more. But I’m trying and I hope that counts for something.

It counts for everything, because if only in this hollow, cold, hospital stairwell, Carlos can admit that he didn’t try. He just gave up. Let the anger build inside him until there was nothing left to do, but to pretend to forget. To pretend to move on.

Just wanted you to know that I’ll be okay. That you don’t have to worry, because I know you. I want you to be okay too, so take care of yourself Carlos. Let our friends be there for you; it’s the least you deserve.

It’s the least you deserve

Those words burn into his mind, like the flash of light when you look directly at the sun. They’re all he can hear for a long time. 

He knows that TK left this message months ago. That he was alluding to the fact that Carlos doesn’t deserve to deal with what TK would call his ‘fucked up brain and mess’. But listening to this message now, it almost feels prophetic. It is as if TK is telling him that there is no other choice, but to lean on their friends.

If the worst comes to pass and TK doesn’t come back to him, he’ll try to take care of himself, for no other reason than because TK asked him to. Asked him in some stupid message recorded months ago in the middle of a communication drought, but it feels important. Moreover, it feels like the truth. TK asked him to take care of himself and now there might be no other options. 

TK’s wisdom about leaning on their friends propels him back towards the ICU waiting room. He finds Nancy and Tommy in the same chairs he left them, only now Mateo and Judd have joined them. 

“Hey man.” Judd nods, he’s the first one to notice him, and as he shifts off his spot leaning against the wall, Carlos freezes in place. Despite being compelled to come back, and feeling the itch to follow through with TK’s plea of letting their friends be there for him, he feels out of place. It’s been so long since he occupied the same space as all of these people that mean so much to TK, and it’s impossible to ignore the real reason why they’re all here together now. 

Judd watches him carefully, slowly making his way over with the look born of way too much knowledge surrounding grief. Carlos finds himself engulfed in the warmest hug he’s felt in a long while, the older man’s arms wrapped completely around him, shielding him for just a moment. When Judd pulls back and pats a hand on his shoulder, the look of understanding on his face brings tears to Carlos’ eyes. He can’t stand to look at it anymore as he turns towards the rest of the group who are doing their best imitation of not watching the spectacle. 

“Hey Carlos,” Mateo greets him with the least amount of exuberance he’s ever heard from the kid and a soft, careful hug. “We’ve missed you man. Just wish –” he stutters, a shifty glance thrown in the direction of TK’s room. 

“Me too, Mateo,” Carlos offers, “Thanks for coming. I know TK would appreciate it.”

“We’re here for you too.” The fierce insistence in Mateo’s voice is a clear holdover from other times. From months of Carlos’ absence in not just TK’s life, but all of these people’s. For the first time since the break up Carlos allows himself to feel the grief of the loss. The weight of it pulls him down and he sinks into the chair between Nancy and Tommy. Allowing them to take his hands in theirs again, except this time he doesn’t pull away. 

Mateo and Judd excuse themselves sometime soon after that, with mentions of needing to get some rest before starting a new shift early tomorrow. It’s a stark reminder that the world outside the walls of this hospital marches on. He wishes he had the power to slow it down, prevent the inevitable ending that hangs over him.

“Want to go grab some coffee?” Nancy’s voice breaks through his dark thoughts and he meets her gaze before turning towards the room that holds his heart. He knows what he wants to do. 

“I’m gonna go sit with TK.”

He feels Nancy follow his gaze and her hand landing on his shoulder. “I’ll grab you something,” she promises as they both get up and without a second glance he’s striding up to the door to TK’s room. Nothing has changed since the last time Carlos entered this room, the quiet slide of the door opening allows for the sounds inside to reach his ears. His heartbeat kicks up at the too slow, unsteady rhythm of the heart monitor. It brings him back to nights laying tangled up on the couch with TK, fingers and lips finding pulse points. The always higher than average beat of TK’s heart, that Carlos took great pride in making speed up with a well placed kiss. 

As he settles into the chair next to the bed, the hiss and click of the ventilator surrounds him. Wrapping around him like a noose, cutting off his access to the very thing that gives him life. It’s not air though, no that thing is TK, his liveliness, his energy, everything that makes up that man Carlos loves. Desperate to hear something else, besides everything that is wrong, he pulls TK’s phone out of his pocket. 

Opening the app he thinks how it’s better to listen to these now, while there is still hope, rather than later when they’re the words of a ghost. 

November 6th, 2021

Hey Carlos, is it weird if I tell you I saw you on a scene today? Probably. Sorry. You looked good. Really good. I’m glad you seem to be doing okay. 

Startled at the thought that he looked good at any time during the break up, Carlos tries to remember what shift that would have been, but the days blur together in his memory. He’s suddenly sad that he can’t remember the last time he saw TK at a scene before the disastrously awkward meeting earlier that day. 

Doctor Matterson has been encouraging me to reach out, try to talk, but I haven’t told her that I walked out and then ghosted you. I did tell her that I definitely don’t have the right to come waltzing back in, now that I finally have some shit figured out.

She says that having the conversation might do us both some good. Help us move on. Find closure. I think that it’s just easier to keep the door as firmly shut as that day I walked out. Am I a coward for that, probably, but at least I’ll survive to tell the tale. 

Move on. Find Closure. Survive to tell the tale. 

He wonders why TK’s words always land like an arrow to his heart. He wonders if he’ll ever be able to move on after this. Find the closure that TK alludes to in his message. He wonders if TK felt like he was finding closure all those months ago, or if he was just pretending like Carlos was. 

The anguish he feels hearing TK tell him that he thinks it would be better to keep the door shut. That TK forgot he held the key to every door Carlos ever had, all he had to do was come back, be there, talk, and Carlos wouldn’t have kept him out. 

Mind whirling, the sounds of the medical equipment grow louder again and Carlos clicks the next message.

November 8th, 2021

“Hey. So I’ve been keeping busy.  

TK’s voice floats over him as he stares unseeing at the body lying in the bed, unconsciously he closes his eyes, imagining the voice is coming from the man himself. 

Work has been good. Steady.

Scaled down to therapy twice a week. Meetings. I’ve been trying. 

Some days I think it’s working, but then I remember how good we had it before and how that blew up in my face. So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m okay. That I’m not giving up. 

It’s such a short message, but the tone of the message is different from all the previous ones. The tone of TK’s voice pitched up, an attempt at lightheartedness. It’s not quite sincere, but there is a flicker of truth underneath it, like TK maybe had started to believe some part of what he was saying, that he wasn’t giving up. 

Carlos longs to reach out and take TK’s hand now, to beg him to keep fighting, to not give up. Old insecurities hold him back, but he moves the chair a bit closer, the legs scratching loudly across the floor, and then he leans closer still as he hits play for the next message.

November 10th, 2021

Dad left. Said he was sorry he couldn’t do more for the 126 and just ran away into hill country. I want to be so mad at him, until I remember that running is exactly what I do, did, have done. I don’t know. Some days it sucks to be a Strand.

And just like that all traces of hope are washed away again. Sucked out by the force of Owen Strand’s distinct lack of ability to be what TK needs when Owen himself is struggling to not be the hero everyone else sees him as. Anger stirs in the pit of Carlos’ stomach at the reminder that no one has been able to reach Owen since TK was admitted. That he’s not here now when TK needs him, and that he apparently hasn’t been for a long time. 

It’s a kick in the gut that despite TK’s own words several messages ago that Owen could tell he wasn’t doing well, the man still couldn’t face being just what TK needs if he couldn’t be what he wanted. 

Mom’s been trying to get me to go visit her. She’s got Jonah and can’t travel, otherwise I know she’d be here right now. She’s worried. She’s also pissed, I heard her yelling at dad through the phone. It didn’t change anything though. 

Nothing really ever changes, does it? At least not the things that matter.

The words are a clear contradiction to who TK is at his core. TK has never believed in permanence of situations/people/feelings, sometimes to the detriment of believing that nothing good ever stays, but he always believed that things could change. 

Once, TK had told him that ‘nothing ever stays the same’ and now he’s saying that ‘nothing ever changes’. He supposes the sentiments aren’t necessarily the same, but the lack of hopefulness in the words blankets him. Even at his most wary, even when he was pushing and pulling Carlos in every direction, TK never completely disregarded the possibility of things changing. 

In the beginning TK had told him he wasn’t ready. Not that he wouldn’t ever be ready.

Before the solar storm TK told him that he needed to figure out himself before he could figure them out. Not that he would never be willing to figure them out.

With Carlos’ parents, TK promised to be whatever he needed, until he was ready because, nothing ever stays the same and he had faith in Carlos being ready sometime. 

After the fire the number of times TK comforted him by reminding him that living with Owen wouldn’t be a forever thing, that things change. 

During their last fight TK had shouted that he knew it wouldn’t last, that nothing ever stays the same. At the time it had just hurt to hear those words that Carlos once took reassurance from used against him. Now he is hit with the realization that TK hasn’t had anything permanent. He hasn’t had anything stay for him, not his parents, not his sobriety, not his love.

Carlos wants to be the one to change that. Same as he always has, but now with a new understanding of why TK doesn’t believe happiness will last. 

With that thought he clicks play on the next message.  

[lavellenchanted]

Seven Sentence Sunday

I was tagged by my meme bestie @theawkwardterrier 💛

I've been in a bit of a creative drought and haven't worked that much on any of my WIPs recently, but here is a snippet from my Edwina fic that I don't think I've posted before:

The Queen's support might have kept it from erupting into a true scandal or their being shunned, but even she couldn't prevent people from gossiping. Edwina had caught snatches, traded behind fans at that last ball of the Season. Do you think there is something wrong with her? Some sort of defect? Well, there must be, mustn't there? It seems she was a poor choice for both the Queen and Lord Bridgerton. Staring down at the bright fabrics arrayed before her, Edwina could all but hear what people would say if she started wearing them now: that she was trying to be like her sister, the one that had actually managed to snare the Viscount where the Diamond had failed.  Not that that was, precisely, what had happened, but truth rarely got a look in when there was a more scandalous interpretation to be shared. But although she had braced herself for sidelong glances and curious, pitying smiles, she could not help wondering whether, if she chose these colours, the whispers would be right. Maybe she would just be trying to be a pale imitation of Kate.

I'm tagging @minim236, @wheremermaidsdwell, @emilykaldwen, @beachy--head and anyone else with a WIP they want to share!

[trillscienceofficer]

First Sentence Tag Game

Rules: Share the first lines of your ten most recent fics and tag ten people.

Many thanks to @thegreatbajoranschismof2369 for tagging me!!

My most recent fic is technically one I can't talk about publicly yet (still unrevealed in a fanwork exchange event), but here are the first sentences of the other nine, from most to least recent:

Erano accampate da tre giorni su di un lastrone di roccia, poco sotto il Passo Ratosha. (Sotto il Passo Ratosha) this is a Kira/Dax fic I wrote in Italian, in which Kira and Jadzia are camped in the Dahkur Hills, among Kira's recollections of the Resistance. I've been meaning to write an English version of it for months; this sentence can be read as “They'd been camped for three days on a rock sheet, just under the Ratosha Pass.”

There is something not quite right with B’Elanna. (Even when I'm not, I am) a B'Elanna/Seven fic + established B'Elanna/Harry/Tom, my take on the aftermath of the shared consciousness plot from the Voyager novel “String Theory - Cohesion” by Jeffrey Lang (the first chapter is a quote from said novel, so I'm not counting it for the meme).

2230 hours is a good time as any to leave Quark’s, Kira figures. (Mistaken for Strangers) The latest entry in my longstanding Kira/Cretak series of fic that I started five years ago (damn does the time pass). In this one, Kira and Cretak have a secret affair on the station, and Kira is reminded of her old resistance cell.

The doorbell chimes and B’Elanna shoots up from the couch, her body as tense as a compressed spring. (Doing The Unstuck) This is from the 4.5k of B'Elanna/Seven smut I wrote last December—I do love coming up with physics-related images eheh

B’Elanna wakes up with a start, heart-rate spiking as her conscious mind informs her that what she’s hearing is the klaxon of a yellow alert and she needs to get up, get dressed and be out of her quarters. (Let's go back, let's go back and start again) This is from my ongoing B'Elanna/Seven + B'Elanna&Harry time loop fic which... I haven't updated in months but I haven't forgotten it either, I promise!

Harry lifts his mug up to his nose, brows furrowing. (Projecting) A mostly humorous B'Elanna/Seven fic, in which B'Elanna is dared to ask Seven to go bouldering together... they get into climbing (and into each other) more than B'Elanna could ever imagine.

“Did anyone see you getting here?” (Reset) The first B'Elanna/Seven fic I ever posted on AO3! Loved getting to write Seven's POV here, and exploring the messiness inherent in such a (secret) relationship.

Ezri’s first attempt to talk to Seven of Nine had every right to be in Dax’s top ten most awkward experiences. (Patterns of Interference) This is an Ezri/Seven fic set at Starfleet Academy immediately post-Voyager canon, and the first line is pretty indicative of what happens in the fic lol. I loved exploring how these two characters would cope with endings and the messiness of seeing their own 'found families' slowly disintegrate in front of their eyes.

The crew scatters in Discovery’s hallways in small groups, laughter and chatter echoing behind them. (Possession) A Star Trek: Discovery Keyla/Joann fic, a sort of 'episode aftermath' of 3x04 “Forget Me Not”, about the way the Keyla can't seem to cope with failure.

I tag @nebulouscoffee @worflesbian @cordrazine-official @mylittleredgirl @bumblingbabooshka and anyone else who feels like doing this meme (tag me in it so I can see it in that case—but also no pressure whatsoever about doing this!)

[subdee]

5 Favourite Fics I’ve written

rule: 5 favourite fics you’ve written and pass it on to 5 other writers

Tagged by @hxhhasmysoul thank you! It feels kinda dishonest to do a writing meme when I didn't write anything in uhhhh all of 2023, but I really like the idea of this one, because in my experience writers almost never like the same stories that the readers like, so it's really interesting to see what people say!

1. Pariging Coffee Shop AU - Would you guys be shocked if I said this is my actual favorite thing I've written? I had a hard time writing it because I had particular reader in mind from the outset and we fell out before I finished the first draft. But now I think it's funny, it has manic energy to match the protagonist. What I really like about it though is that the main characters, Ging and Pariston, really aren't all that similar to their canon selves but they still have workable personalities for the story. Personally I like reading AUs with quasi-original characters, but I'm always writing pretty close to canon. This one time I wrote the kind of story I like to read.

2. Treasure Hunter Yuffie Kisaragi and the case of the White Materia - this is buried as the last chapter in a 10-chapter collection of unrelated short stories I wrote for AU-gust in 2020 so no one reads it, but I like it! I've always wanted to write a mystery story and this one has a complete plot and a setting (Victorian England), even if the plot is kinda wonky in places and the setting isn't fully researched. I'm just proud of myself for finishing a mystery with an actual plot and period setting I think. I like a lot of the stories I wrote for AU-gust, actually, 2020 was a good writing year and @tofucasserole is a REALLY good beta-reader / sounding board.

3. An Honest Day's Work - It's a Jojo Part One fic? It's a pastiche on Victorian ghost stories? I was taking a class on British literature and the professor told us we could write fanfiction for the final paper? (This wasn't written for class though.) I don't know, I just like the rhythm of this one. It's moody.

4. Seven Days - Similar to the Jojo fic, this is pretty short and I spent a lot of time on the sentences. I just like the way it's written. Pretty often I'll re-read things I've written and cringe because the sentences are awkward, and I'll tell myself I'll go back to edit later, and then later never comes. This was short so it was easy to edit. I also like the way the story deals with Cloud's unreliable memory at the start of FF7. It was fun to write the different perspectives jumbled together.

5. Nevermind the Bollocks, Here's the Phantom Troupe - this one REALLY needs an edit, I contradict things I said the paragraph before when I'm not repeating what I said the paragraph before, because I wrote it in fits and starts - which is what happens when you start with "this person plays this instrument" as the premise and don't have a plot, haha. (Thanks to munen for unsticking basically every hxh fanfic I've written in the last five years!) So it's not currently my #5 favorite story, but I'm putting it on the list anyway thinking it eventually will be, because it's longer and complete, and even with the infodumping about band stuff it's less of an info-dump than Dungeon x Hunter. I like Machi and Nobu's characters in this.

Tagging... @voidcat-senket @dodici12 @rosemochi @spectroscopes @itiaskia ! I want to know !

[llondonfog]

for the three sentence fic meme…… perhaps Silver gets a boyfriend and Lilia is suspicious of him? 👀

[✐meme] three sentence fic meme

" . . . Lilia-sama, when you suggested that I accompany you for field lessons in surveillance, this—" Sebek pauses as if to let the gravity of their situation sink in, features puckering as if he had found himself chewing on the latest of Lilia's unholy creations. "—is not what I had in mind."

Beside him in their copse of shrubbery, Lilia merely tuts in response and hefts (Wait— was that the bean blaster and camouflage from last month's beanfest? How in the Great Seven did he manage to pilfer those?!) the blaster with ease, one crimson eye peering through the scope with enough ferocity that even Sebek musters up a rare stab of momentary pity for the poor fool caught between the crosshairs.

"You promised to assist me in my most important duty today, yes? Now be a dear and help an old man out, my eyesight isn't quite what it used to be— did he give Silver pink roses or blue ones?"

Privately, Sebek wonders why in the seven hells would it even matter. ". . . It appears that he's handing over a bouquet of blue ones, Lilia-sama—"

A resounding yelp echoes instantly throughout the small clearing before he can even finish his sentence, and the offending bouquet drops like a mournful stone to the cobblestone below, a sad memorial for all the naïve souls who thought they could court Silver Vanrouge while his father still drew breath.

"Pink!" Lilia-sama roars out from their 'hiding' spot, and Sebek finds himself in the surreal position of wincing in pity for the second time that morning as Silver buries his face in his hands and his clearly inept beau performs a hopping dance as if he's stepped on hot coals, wringing his hand that's been beaned with deadly accuracy and all the indignant rage of a father defending his son's honor. "How many times must I remind you, pink goes better with his eyes!"

So much for lessons in espionage.