#seven of hearts pod

[pirateprincessblog]

cosmos

18+ nsfw content ahead, approach with caution. if a minor, I ask you to not interact.

🌌𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫.: centuries ago, humans detected a signal from an asteroid with a collision probability of 1-in-1,200. unwilling to gamble with humanity's future, they decided to evacuate. thus, kang yeosang finds himself aboard a spaceship, nestled in a sleeping pod among thousands of other slumbering passengers. the destination appears distant, and everyone remains asleep. just why is the young man awake then? ☄️𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: kang yeosang x f!reader ☄️𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 17.7k ☄️𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: angst, fluff, smut, slowburn, space travelers, space themes, plot twist, smut with plot ☄️𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: masturbation, voyeurism, praise kink, hair pulling, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, fingering, choking, hair pulling, oral (both receiving), multiple orgasms, biting, marking ☄️𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: Interstellar Main Theme (extended version)

🌠𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: swearing, light violence, existential crisis (me lol), depressing themes, mentions of death, slight blo0d (like two drops), mentions of substances 🌠𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: inspired by passengers (2016), i absolutely adore space, i am so in love with it, to the point it scares me how beautiful, enormous and unpredictable it is. i gave my all to this fic, kinda put myself in it, so please do not hesitate to leave a feedback <3 each word means the world to me!

𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐲.

"calculating remaining travel time... xjlsdja23ky324xii... updated."

"come on, you piece of shit."

"updated estimated time to reach proxima centauri b is nine hundred and twenty eight years, six days and seven minutes."

"fuck!" the man hits the screen with his fist, but the numbers don't budge. "what the fuck?!"

if the man's relatives and friends were awake around him at this moment, they would've been shocked. kang yeosang never swore, nor did he ever strike anyone or anything. him losing his temper is something that only ever happened once, at the entrance of the very ship he stands in. the captain wanted to separate his mother from his family, claiming there is no space for her and that they have reached the traveler limit. she is the last to board, they said, you'll wait for the next one. yeosang stepped down, letting his mother take his space, and said his tearful goodbyes before clearing the way for the captain and the stewards to close the doors.

however, they did not. instead, they waved their hand towards a group of people, keeping the door open for them. yeosang watched with his jaw dropped as a family of five rushed to the doors, dragging their designer luggage, wheels scratching the uneven concrete floor and making the man's ears bleed. blood boils inside his body, and his mother noticed the popped vein on his forehead from the window. before she can make it to the door to stop him, yeosang throws himself at the captain, hate, cussing and violence taking over his body.

once the stewards separated them and his mother's face appeared in front of him, he realized his mistake. the older man seized the woman by her elbow, then shoves her down the silver stairs. the sound of groans and thumps still echo in yeosang's ears, accompanied by the distant rumble of the luggage wheels that had triggered his reaction.

"you want to get on the ship so bad? go!"

he is forced inside the ship, and moved away from the doors so they can close them. through the window, he looks at his tearful and hurt mother through his own blurry eyes, heart ripping apart at the sight. i'll be fine, she keeps mouthing, forcing a smile.

they say the next ship will be ready soon, but after this, how can he trust anyone? besides, the ship could be ready next week, or next year. the danger is inching closer with each day that passes, increasing in speed and destroying everything in its path, until it eventually collides with the green planet, destroying both in the process. if they survive the impact, they will die of starvation. yeosang's heart clenches at the thought. he didn't want his mother to await certain death on this planet. he didn't want her to eat dust and dig for food in the ashes of those who stayed, willingly or forcefully.

but that might just be the price for his actions. yeosang sobs against the window, clawing at it. his lungs hurt, a new realization hitting him with each second that passes and sending him into another fit of wailing. a soft smile on her face is the last thing the man sees before he is pulled away from the window. he recognizes his sister's voice comforting him, even though she is in as much pain as him.

now, yeosang stands before the screen, its numbers blurred by fresh tears of sadness and anger. he walks over to his sleeping pod, eyes examining it and brain struggling to understand what went wrong. he lays inside once again, then closes the glass door. the white sheets are still warm and as uncomfortable as the first time he laid there. nothing changes, no sound is heard, no matter how long he lays there. he isn't stupid, he knows that the buttons on the outer shell need to be pressed in order for him to go into hibernation again. but maybe, just maybe, a miracle happens.

an hour, a nap, and no miracles later, yeosang is awake again. he sighs, chest swelling with sadness and pain once more. not only did he abandon his mother, but he is going to face his end alone too. the blonde man glances at the nearby pods; his sister, grandfather, and a few family friends all peacefully awaiting the end of the long voyage. hundreds of pods are lined up in the room, each person inside it dressed the same, stripped of any makeup, piercings, and earthly clothes, instead dressed in simple white silk sleepwear. from the richest to the poorest, they all share the same fate now; a plain sleeping pod, with no designer marks or gold pleating, barefoot, barefaced, and a desire to keep living. he is so close to them, yet so far. surrounded, but isolated.

until he hears a crash outside the hibernation room.

his bare feet tap against the cold white tiles as he follows the echo of the noise, heart thumping with fear and hope. is he not alone?

yeosang finally exits the hibernation room, eyes failing to catch an empty pod near the exit. he finds himself standing in the middle of what looked like a lobby. the pale colour of the walls hurt his eyes, along with a big number of white led lights scattered on the ceiling. on the first glance, it looked simple. once yeosang's eyes got used to the light, he noticed a great willow tree in the middle of the room. it is surrounded by a few wooden benches, all facing it. a long table follows the curved walls, decorated with plants of all sorts, protected by glass.

he does not speak just yet, instead he further examines the room. all the windows are shut, and yeosang doesn't think to approach one and remove the shade. he continues the path through the door closest to the one of the hibernation room, not knowing what to hope for. is he alone, or is he not? both possibilities are equally terrifying. if yes, what was the noise? if not, what could he expect from the person that was also awake for some reason?

yeosang seems to have entered a tube that served as a hallway, the walls curved and decorated with thin led stripes. yeosang's eyes shine under the lights, like a baby's on their first christmas. the hallway leads him into a somewhat warmer decorated room, soft yellow lights a contrast to the previous strong white ones. he raises an eyebrow as he takes in the space. it looks like a restaurant, with a bar fully stocked. there aren't many tables, all of them made to fit up to four people.

they are simply decorated, with a single electric candle in the middle. the chairs are all neatly tucked in, except one. the man carefully approaches the table, fingers hesitantly grazing the plush backrest. it is a deep green colour, the velvet material soft under yeosang's fingertips. the seat itself has an imprint, and yeosang's heart seems to stop for a moment. he raises his head abruptly, and his eyes lock with another pair.

he steps back, breath caught in his throat. the figure gasps too, eyes widening, before her legs carry her outside the restaurant and into another room. the man stays still, unsure if he should follow. what if it is a trap? for his misbehaviour? what should he do anyway? hide around the ship until the end of his life? could be tricky, but the ship is enormous. with an equally enormous luck, he might just make it.

his eyes catch a few items on the table; an opened book, a marker, cup of brown liquid and a broken necklace. on the floor is a shattered glass, probably the crash he heard. he takes the book in his hands, making sure to remember the page before closing it to view the title. it looks like a steamy romance, and when he goes through a few pages, he has to set it down before his attention shifts to something else.

"good evening, sir. ready to order?"

yeosang jumps, dropping the just acquired blue marker on the table. the voice is robotic, yet the face is human. it is an older man, with wheels instead of feet. his hands look human too, holding a tray with a single glass of water on it. it is when yeosang takes a sip that he realizes just how parched he was. he downs the glass, a few drops escaping and rolling down his chin and neck.

"what are you?" he finally speaks.

"i am a human made robot, created to be at your service during your stay at the ship. would you like to sit and take a look at the menu?"

yeosang sits down on the other chair, curiosity taking over him. shortly after, a thin menu is handed to him. it has a few usual choices, and a few more fancy ones. his stomach grumbles as he reads the ingredients of a certain dish, mouth almost watering when he sees the picture of it on the next page. but he has other things to worry about.

"made for our service, right?"

"indeed, sir."

"then, can you activate my pod again?"

"oh, sorry sir. that is beyond my program."

the blonde haired man sighs, dropping the menu on the table. he intertwines his fingers and rests his elbows on the edge of the table, his chin on top of his hands. he looks at the robot's smiley face, and then scoffs.

"it's just a few buttons."

"i'm sorry sir, but-"

"you're programmed to make dozens of cocktails, but not to press a few buttons?" he raises his voice, annoyed with the situation.

"it is dangerous, sir. i cannot just press any buttons, there is a whole procedure. your pod might implode, and you might endanger other pods, even the ship itself."

"bullshit."

"perhaps the young lady can help."

yeosang follows the robot's gaze, and his eyes lock with those from moments ago again. a female figure stands at the doors where she once disappeared, with no emotion on her face. at first, yeosang thinks that it is another robot. but all of her seems human enough.

"i'll be at the bar if you need me." with that, the robot slides behind the bar, busying himself with cleaning.

the girl approaches, carefully. when she reaches her once abandoned table, she slowly smiles. the look on the man's face makes her smile fade quickly, pure anger written all over his features.

"you." he says through gritted teeth.

"uh... hi. my name is-" she holds her hand out as a greeting, ignoring the sudden hostile demeanor.

"i don't want to know your fucking name."

"w-what?"

yeosang replays the image of the captain pushing him out of the way, only to invite a whole family inside after he said there is no more space left. he saw you, carrying that foolish designer bag over your shoulder, the weight of it pulling your body to the side. he remembers locking eyes with you for a split second, just before he went berserk on the captain. you looked like you hadn't worked a single day in your life, and like your world was only flowers and waterfalls.

"you're holding me accountable for your mom, aren't you?"

"do not talk about my mother."

"you know, before assuming something, you should try thinking a bit harder. how do you-"

"i don't have to- no, i don't want to think harder. you rich bastards waltz in here like it's nothing while us poor people have to scrape every corner of our house for the last penny to get a chance for a ticket." he stands from the chair abruptly, making it fall on the floor and you flinch.

tears gather in your eyes, and you feel frustrated that you cannot control it. why do you always have to cry, no matter the emotion? who cries from anger, for god's sake?

"oh, no no. you do not get to cry. that is my mother that stayed down there, and-"

"you think i just waltzed in here? just like that? you think i didn't pay for my own goddamn ticket? you think they let us in just because of our status and wealth?"

"you paid for your ticket? who told you that, your daddy?"

you stay silent for a moment, before confirming. yeosang laughs sarcastically, offending you even more.

"right." he scoffs.

"you think he would lie to me?"

"did you see the tickets? do you know what they look like? how much they cost? where they're taking us? do you even know where you are going? tell me any of these things, and i'll believe you."

you sit down, staring at the broken necklace. you did not know any of those things. you did ask your father to show you the tickets multiple times, you were excited. but he delayed it, even at the entrance, he didn't have to show it to the captain.

"that's what i thought."

"but... why would they let us board?"

"because your daddy is an important minister. you should try thinking a bit harder." he repeats your sentence from earlier.

you sit still, anger stirring inside of you. anger no longer directed at the gorgeous man, but at your family. your father specifically. the stranger picks up the chair, then sits on it. he sighs, shoving his face in his hands.

"what happened to your pod?" he asks, not yet looking at you.

"i don't know. i suddenly woke up, couldn't breathe, and had to break the glass to get out. next thing i know, it had smoke coming out of it so i pressed a bunch of buttons until the thing shut down completely. what about yours?"

yeosang removed his hands from his face, finally looking at you properly. he feels his ears and cheeks warm up, noticing just how beautiful you are. he looks at your book instead, unable to maintain eye-contact.

"no difficulty with breathing as far as i remember. i woke up like i did on earth every day, and it felt natural too. the lid was open, no smoke or cracks. the digital board seemed normal, the vitals still showing up until i had to rip the cables from my wrists." yeosang looks down on his hands, remembering how gently he yanked those tubes from his flesh. "then i was confused as to why i was the only one awake. i went to the main screen in the hibernation room, might've hit it, and then heard a crash. you, assuming?"

"yeah. i knocked it over while trying to fix the stupid necklace."

yeosang nods, eyeing the necklace that now rests in your fingers. it has a simple butterfly pendant, and yeosang fights the urge to ask if it holds any meaning.

"how long have you been awake?"

"about three weeks."

"it doesn't sound like a lot, but when you're alone, assuming it feels like three months?"

you laugh, "more like three years."

"have you tried sending a message back to earth?"

you frown, remembering all the video and voice messages you have sent the first day you woke up and met your new fate. you abused the poor system, sending a tearful plea for help almost every hour.

"i have."

"and?"

"it takes approximately nineteen years for them to receive it, and more than nineteen for me to receive the reply, depends on the speed we are moving at. in that time, the asteroid is expected to strike. they'll have it worse than i do, so i am at least grateful that i get to live to an old age. hopefully."

silence envelops both of you for a while. he seems to be thinking, eyes squinted and nose scrunched cutely.

"do you think... you can try activating my pod again?"

he sees your smile fade. must be horrible to be all alone, especially knowing that you won't reach the set destination. nine hundred years is a long time after all. barely any human lives past a hundred.

"i can try."

yeosang beams, excitedly standing up. he misses the way your eyes become glossy again, tears threatening to spill any moment. you trail behind him, using the chance to examine him. he is taller than you, with soft blonde hair that falls over his almond eyes, and bright skin. he looks like a prince, more beautiful than any man you've been with or had a crush on. he looks over his shoulder, checking to see if you're following him. his eyes are a warm chestnut brown, and his lips a pretty pink shade. you're jealous of his cheekbones and lashes.

soon enough you stand in front of his hibernation pod, the lid opened and the sheets inviting, no matter how uncomfortable.

"right, then. lay down." you say with a heavy heart.

he wastes no time, laying in the pod with his eyes closed and rolling up his sleeves. you take the discarded tubes, poking the tiny needles back below his wounded flesh and taping them back together. he closes his eyes, and his lips twitch in a smile. you bite the inside of your cheek, wishing for nothing more than for all of this to fail.

you're horrible, yes. but if you have to spend another day alone here, you might just toss yourself out in space without a suit on and die. robots are a good company only for a limited amount of time, before their answers start becoming repetitive and predictable.

"you never told me your name." you mumble, getting ready to close the clear lid.

"yeosang." he says, opening one eye to look at you. "yours?"

"y/n."

"beautiful." he compliments.

"bye, yeosang. i hope a better life awaits you." you say before your voice starts cracking, and a tear escapes your eye.

"bye, y/n." the man says his final words before closing his eyes again and relaxing.

you close the lid, then make sure his vitals are showing on the tiny screen. once everything seems ready, you follow the steps on the screen, pushing the buttons in the right order, until it asks for an authorization code.

"shit."

he seems to hear it, because he opens his eyes to look at you with his eyebrow raised. "what?"

"uh, i'll be right back. i just need the authorization code."

"oh. alright, i hope you find it."

"it should be on the main screen."

after a long time of fooling around on the screen, you do not find the code. if you were to start guessing, you wouldn't know where to start. the keypad offers both numbers and letters, and it could be any combination.

"yeosang?"

"yes?"

"i'm so sorry, but... i couldn't find the code."

yeosang's world shatters once again. it seemed way too easy anyway.

"help me out."

a week later, you still find the man in the same spot. he sleeps in his hibernation pod, and when he doesn't, he sits on the floor beside it and stares at the ceiling. the glass of water you had brought him last night, just like every other night, was empty beside it. it makes you feel relieved that he drank. you don't want him to die like this. you aren't sure how you would handle that, both emotionally and physically.

"yeosang?"

you call, hoping to convince him to come outside today.

"want a tour of the ship? you haven't seen anything yet. besides, don't you have to piss from all this water?"

"thanks for reminding me. my kidneys will kill me." he groans. "which way?"

you lead him out the hibernation room and into the lobby again, only this time you take a different path. there is a door near the restaurant hallway, and you playfully open it up for him.

"my lord."

he rolls his eyes, not yet in the mood for jokes. you lean your head against the locked door, hearing a soft sniff from inside.

"the sooner you accept it, the better it will be for you. i promise."

"you say it like it's easy."

"it's not. i still cry myself to sleep. but i like to pretend that i own the ship, and that all of those people in those pods are my peasants who are coming to serve me on my new planet."

you hear a faint chuckle, and your heart feels lighter.

"besides, once i show you everything, you'll see just how irrelevant our lives are compared to the whole universe. it's beautiful, yeosang."

"you can see outside?"

"yes. i'll take you to the cockpit, if you promise to have a proper breakfast."

you hear water running, and you assume he is washing his hands. "how do you know it's morning? isn't it always dark out there?"

"funnily enough, my digital watch still works. the battery did not run out yet. currently, it is ten in the morning on earth. i even let you sleep in! how generous of me."

he opens the door, causing you to stumble forward into him. he catches you before your head can hit his chest, and it is then that you realize just how big his hands are. you smile awkwardly, stepping back.

"let's go."

yeosang chooses a simple breakfast; cereal and a banana. you order your usual, the blueberry muffin and chocolate milk having you in a chokehold since the first day you woke up. you feel like a peasant who was allowed into his lord's house, eating like a starved farmer while yeosang eats like a sophisticated prince. he taps the napkin on the corners of his mouth every few moments, doesn't graze the spoon against the bowl and doesn't slurp the milk. you, on the other hand, have made a mess not only on the table, but on your lap and floor as well.

"so, uh..." he trails, moving the emptied bowl aside and reaching for the yellow fruit, "what's the plan?"

"are we talking short term or long term?" you also finish the muffin and set the paper wrap aside.

"let's stick to short for now."

"i thought i'd give you a tour of the ship. find you a room, spare clothes and such. the ship is like a city floating through space. my childhood town didn't have this many things to do."

the man laughs lightly, fidgeting with the banana. he doesn't peel it yet, his thoughts so intense they're almost audible. you call his name, once, twice. he doesn't respond. hesitantly, you reach over to put your hand over his. he ceases his fidgeting, his gaze locking with yours. the whites of his eyes are red and glossy again, and being the sensitive person you are, your eyes start burning too. you let out a shaky sigh, trying your hardest not to break down in front of him. he avoids your gaze again, seeing what he did to you.

"i'm going to sound mean and horrible. i know you might have a spark of hope left, and i want to tell you that you should get rid of it right away. hope will only worsen your pain. there is nothing we can do, yeosang. we can't turn the ship around, we are already years away. we will make it just in time for us to die of old age. we can't wake up any of the crew or loved ones, who would put them to sleep again? one of us would have to stay back again. and if you're thinking of the worst... well, i can't stop you there. i'll try, but the ship is huge. i won't be able to keep up with you if you do decide to take that step."

the blonde man sniffles, wiping his cheeks with the back of his free hand. his other one still subconsciously holds onto yours, thumb lightly caressing your skin and comforting you.

"if you, however, do decide... please let me know. so i can prepare to be alone again." your voice trembles, and tears finally set themselves free.

yeosang squeezes your hand, then put his other one over it and keeping it warm. he just now realizes how hard you also have it. he feels selfish, dumping all his sadness on you and not thinking about your feelings at all. you are a stranger, but if you are going to live on the ship with him, might as well try and make friends with you. otherwise, it would be awkward to coexist together.

"so, the cockpit?"

"woah, take me to dinner first."

as you help ryan, the robot you both named, clean up the table, yeosang takes the time to examine the bar.

"so he makes all the food too?"

"there's a couple machines back there, not humanoid though. enough to know a medium rare steak and fries. you'll need all the protein you can get."

he hums, then gets out of the way so that ryan can get the dishes cleaned. you wait near the table, not rushing him yet. he needs time, as much as you still need it. but one of you needs to be the tough one, or you won't last. as soon as he makes his overthinking face, you are quick to grab his elbow and drag him with you.

"there's more to the ship than the bar and the lobby."

when back in the said lobby, you release his elbow and continue down a different path. the short, tube-like hallway is the same as the one before, this time leading into a different room.

"this is the storage. spare clothes, towels, hygiene supplies and such can be found here. further down, see that door? those are the showers. but there is a shower in each of the vip rooms. you can pick whichever room you want when we get there."

"sounds nice."

you show him the gym and the small terrarium, before continuing through the main door of the lobby. yeosang watches in awe as you take out a silver card from the pocket of your sleepwear top and scan it.

"where did you get that?"

"found it in the hibernation room when i woke up. it was locked in a little glass box, it said something like break in case of emergency. seemed emergency enough for me. sadly, it did not have any codes to operate the pods."

the circular door opens smoothly in a spiral, opening a whole new hallway. this one isn't like the previous ones. it is wide, and it rotates around its axis. and it doesn't have a floor. it is simply a tube. the door closes behind you when you step over threshold, and yeosang flinches.

"uh..."

"trust me. take my hand."

everything yeosang does recently is with hesitation. and you understand him, truly. but at least he has someone to guide him. you had nobody. once his hand slides into yours, you don't give him time to ask anything before jumping inside the tube. his heavy body floats in the air, following after you. you can't help the smile that spreads on your lips when yeosang looks up. his jaw is dropped, and his eyes shine orange under the sunlight.

he is speechless, face pressed against the rotating glass like a child against a store window. you swim over to him, also pressing your nose against the cold glass. he is witnessing the first sunset on a different planet, and his heart flutters at the sight.

"it is..." he starts, but doesn't finish.

"i know. there's no word for it, is there?"

"not really, no. beautiful? glorious? breathtaking? none of it seems enough to describe it. it is... strange. different. scary."

you hum, looking down at the dense clouds of the yellow planet. "our earth is so much more beautiful, though. couldn't live on such a dull planet."

"do you think anyone lives down there?"

you shrug, not having thought about it.

"do you think anyone lives on the planet where we are headed? just how advanced is our science and astronomy? for all we know, we could get crushed by a single step from some giant as soon as we land. then all of this was for nothing."

it is the first time you hear him talk more, and you don't dare interrupt him. he has a lovely voice, a deep tone with a soft lisp. you smile to yourself, wondering if anyone pointed that cute trait out to him.

"i guess it doesn't matter for the two of us anyway. not like we are going to live to see it."

"such a ray of sunshine, aren't you?"

he chuckles, sparing you a single glance before flying off to the other side. the planet is enormous, even with the distance the ship keeps with it. their home star seems tiny, but you know that it is just very far away. it might be stronger and way bigger than the sun you know.

"how fun would it be if a fleet came rushing to the ship and they imprisoned us? made us work for them and all?"

"yeosang!"

almost half an hour later, you had to peel yeosang from the windows that were now full of face and finger prints. he whines, but doesn't have much power over his body like you do. you learned to navigate the zero gravity spaces, while he is just getting used to them. you effortlessly pull him through the tube, taking one last glance at the yellow giant below the ship before landing on a floor again. he doesn't succeed, instead landing on his hands and almost his face. the door closes behind you, and smoke fills the small hallway.

"pressure stabilized. you may proceed."

"thank you!" you yell, skipping towards the new doors.

"they can... hear you?"

"huh? oh, no they can't. that's just the automatic system. but it is a habit of mine, to talk to these machines. i had to speak somehow, or to something, otherwise i would've lost it."

"understandable."

using the card, you open another door. each time you do, you are amazed at the mechanics. everything is very futuristic, and no door opens with a doorknob. they are either sensor or card activated, and they always open unusually. from those that spirally open, to those that slide up or down. you love the noises they make when they do so.

"these are the vip rooms. we still have to figure out how we will use the card, since there is only one and you need it to move around. i can unlock the room you want so you don't have to look for me every time you want to go to your room, but that's all the card can unlock. i'll check with ryan if we can duplicate it for other doors."

"he was incapable of pushing a few buttons, think he can replicate a whole card?"

"doesn't hurt to try. anyway, pick a room!" you hand him the card, motioning to the sensors near the doors. "feel free to check out each one of them."

he wants to take the first one, without exploring the rest. but you pressure him into seeing others, claiming there might be better ones. truth is, you've claimed the best one for yourself. but he doesn't need to know that.

"oh, wow." he breathes out, entering the last room at the far end.

it has a simple white bed, already made with pillows and sheets, a desk and a few shelves above it. it has a door that leads to his own bathroom, and a small dresser. a circular window just above the bed takes yeosang's attention again. he smiles, then turns towards you.

"this one."

"you sure?"

"positive. i'd love to wake up to that view every morning."

"then, it is settled. you have your own bathroom and shower, so you won't have to go out all the way back to the lobby. there's also a minibar, it gets restocked once every two weeks for now. but i found a way to change it. it's just a few drinks and snacks."

he nods, still taking in the room.

"anyways, i'd like to call it a day. the cockpit will have to wait. you should refresh yourself, there is towels in the drawers under the bed and spare clothes in the dresser. it's only sleepwear, but fresh. the dirty clothes go in that bin by the door, it gets automatically dumped in the washing machine in the storage room every morning."

"wow, you've really done some exploring."

"guess i have. have fun. i'll unlock the room, then i'll be right across the hall if you need me."

"thank you, y/n."

a few days later, a knock wakes you up. you glance at the watch, and seeing that it is three in the morning, you groan.

"yes?"

"are you awake?"

"now i am."

"sorry."

you stay silent, waiting for him to continue. but he doesn't. you hear shuffling outside the door, then footsteps. you roll your eyes before dragging your body out of the comfortable bed. you open the door, only to find him very much awake and dressed in fresh clothes, on his way back to his room.

"what is it?"

"what's the time?" he turns around at your voice.

"three in the morning."

"oh."

you stare at each other in silence for a few moments. you raise an eyebrow, amused with his behaviour. "well?"

"right. i was bored. i don't know what to do. i can't sleep."

"then... go to the gym?"

"i forgot how to get there. is there anything else to do? where did you get that book you were reading?"

"ah, the library"

"there's a library?!"

"um, yes. not many books, though. mostly classics, only a small young adult and fantasy section. a few comics here and there. it is on the other side of the ship, though. want to borrow mine until tomorrow?"

his cheeks flush at the sight of the book, remembering the themes of it. a little reading can't hurt. besides, he hasn't had any activity in a while. not with himself either.

"sure."

"want to hang here while you read? if you start feeling sleepy you can just sleep in that other bed." you offer, gesturing towards the bed across the one you have occupied.

"sure, if you don't mind."

"make yourself comfy. the minibar is still stocked, feel free to take anything."

it doesn't take long for you to jump back into bed, warming it up and scrunching the pillow beneath your head. it is just not high enough. with your head turned towards the window, you can see yeosang's reflection. he sits cutely on the bed, back pressed against the slightly curved wall and knees pressed to his chest. his blonde locks fall over his eyes, and he blows upwards every now and then to remove them. you smile to yourself before dozing off.

the second time you are woken up, it is by soft whimpers coming from behind you. a wave of heat washes over your body, seeing the reflection in the window. yeosang lays on the bed, the book halfway finished but discarded on the floor next to the bed. he bucks his hips into his hand, which is wrapped around his pretty pink cock. the veins on his hands are bulging, like the ones on his cock, and you have to fight every urge in you to not jump on him.

you shiver at his moans, getting louder and more... pathetic. carefully, your hand slides from under the pillow and under the blanket, reaching the heat between your legs. he chokes on his own moans, gasping and whining more as he works his way to an orgasm. your other hand sits on your mouth, stopping any noise from escaping. you don't tease yourself, there is no need. you are wet enough for your fingers to slide inside of you easily, and you immediately start pumping.

light squelching is heard in the small room, and you are not sure if it is him or you. either way, the noises are driving you insane, and you hate that you cannot quicken your pace.

yeosang is a gorgeous man, and you found yourself having a crush on him the moment you saw him. but you never thought of him this way. he was just too sweet and innocent looking. now? seeing his veiny hands work on himself, pretty lips creating noises you didn't know men could make, cheeks flushed and hair sticking to his face and neck, you might just be in trouble.

"fuck-" he whispers, hips becoming sloppier with each thrust.

you use the last few moments of his lack of attention before his orgasm to speed up your fingers, inching yourself closer and closer, until a wave of pleasure washes over you and blurs your vision for a moment. you bite into your hand, legs squeezing shut from the intense pleasure. you did touch yourself occasionally during these few weeks, but nothing was as strong and intense as this. and none of it was because of yeosang.

you realize you missed his orgasm, and can't help but frown. you would've loved to see it. his pretty eyes rolling back, and his breathing getting shallow as he loses himself to pleasure. he has already composed himself while you were still getting down from your high. he stands up, puts the book on the nightstand near your bed, then makes his way back to your bathroom.

by the time he comes back, you are already asleep from exhaustion.

"tell me about yourself." he says the next morning.

"ask away." you respond, already out of breath.

the treadmill was never your friend. yeosang had joined you right after you warmed up, and you were the one blushing this time. every time you look at him, you see his sweaty face from last night. not a sight to complain about, but you could've done without it.

"i don't know. favorite colour? movie? song? are there such things on the ship?"

"there is a selection of songs. a couple from each period, as samples to show if there is anyone where we are going. well, they. and a few movies, i think. also some popular ones from each period. they have game of thrones, too."

"ah, i never watched it."

"really? i started it on the ship. didn't know what else to do. i am not watching the godfather or star wars again. so far it seems good. jon snow is to die for."

yeosang looks at you, confused. "i don't know who that is."

"if you want to watch with me, i'll show you. i haven't shown you the theater yet anyway."

you stop the treadmill, jumping off it and sitting on the floor for a moment. your legs burn, but it is satisfying discomfort. you wait for yeosang to dismount the stationery bicycle, not looking at his bottom whatsoever. not fair how it is better shaped than yours. he is speaking to you, but you are busy admiring his body. he always hides under the loose sleepwear, this is the first time you see him properly. he wears a tight athletic fit, showing off his broad shoulders and thin waist.

"is that okay?"

"what?" you accidentally yell, then slap your hand over your mouth.

he laughs, running his fingers through his damp hair and glancing at you over his shoulder. "i asked if you want to have dinner? i know we usually skip it from lack of moving during the day, but i am going to be here for a while. i'm going to need some food before bed."

"of course. i was thinking the same. any dress code?" you joke.

"i mean, you can dress fancy. why not? who's stopping us?"

"what, are you going to wear, like, a tuxedo or something?"

"i'll figure something out." he gets off the bicycle, sending you a playful wink.

you find yourself blushing under his gaze, but you do not look away. he is just too mesmerizing to look at. where has this man been hiding down on earth?

"need help getting up?"

"uh, i think i might skip the bike. my legs are too shaky. i'll stay on the floor for a while."

"you'll catch a cold. come here."

without a warning, his hands position themselves on your waist, and so effortlessly pick your aching body up. you hold onto his shoulders, flabbergasted. there is no motive, other than being helpful, but you can't help the sudden rush you feel between your legs. imagining him manhandling you, throwing you around as he likes, wrapping his hand around your neck as you struggle to breathe and beg him for more.

"i'll help you." he sets you down on the yoga mat, then gently pushes you to lay down. "you have to warm up more and stretch yourself."

"if i start warming myself up more, i won't have the energy for a proper exercise."

"come on, don't be dramatic. i'll show you now, alright?"

"fine."

you lay back, eyes looking up at the open ceiling. millions of white and yellow dots glimmer all across the dark void. yeosang's hands slide from your waist to your leg, gently rubbing the thigh. he puts light pressure on it, and it only increases the muscle pain. but you trust him, so you let him continue. he does the same to your other thigh, and repeats the process with your calves. he then sets his hands on your ankles, slowly pushing your feet across the mat until your knees are propped up. he doesn't stop there, picking your ankles off the floor and slowly pressing your knees to your chest.

"oh, fuck me." you gasp in pain, shutting your eyes and reaching for something to hold onto.

your fingers can't grasp the tight fabric of the athletic shirt, so you resort for digging your nails into his shoulders. he holds you in that position for a few moments, then slowly releases and straightens your legs out again. then again, and again, until you are sweating with pain.

"you're doing good," he hushes, "just a bit more. you can handle it for me, can't you?"

"i guess, yeah."

"good girl."

before you can respond with anything other than a grunt, yeosang presses your knees against your chest one more time, this time leaning his body against you. his body is firm, and big. he hovers over you, his crotch dangerously close to yours. if you moved just a few inches, you'd be grinding on him. he stays still for a moment, not breaking eye contact as he causes delicious pain, and you can't help but think about other ways he could stretch you.

"does it hurt?" he whispers.

"a little." you respond with an equal quiet voice.

"i'll get you used to it, don't worry."

it doesn't feel like he is talking about the warmup anymore. but you decide not to risk it. he could really mean it in an innocent and helpful manner, and you would be the lust driven fool who has ruined the only friendship you are going to have in your life. you remove your hands from his shoulders, then gently press them against his chest to push him away. he doesn't budge, but takes the message and moves himself. he is so much stronger than he looks, and it drives you crazy. such an angelic face, with such a sculpted body.

"i think i'll finish early today. if i continue, i won't have the strength to even dress for the dinner, let alone reach the restaurant."

"alright, then. eight tonight?"

"sounds good. got your card?"

he retrieves the shiny item from his back pocket and flashes it your way. "right here."

"great. i'll see you tonight, then. with my fancy clothes." you laugh, picking up the items you have scattered around the gym.

"ditto."

you raid the storage room, looking for anything that is not gym clothes or sleepwear. roaming around the ship, you find the luggage room. hundreds of bags, all full to the brim. you're sure they won't mind if you borrow something. not your fault your father made you pack simple childish clothes and only a handful of makeup.

eight o'clock rolls around quickly, and you may or may not be running late. your room is a mess, makeup scattered all over the desk and nightstand, and clothes piling up on the bed. you do not know what you've pulled from what bag. it's not like you'll be alive to hear them confront you anyway. you had heard yeosang's door shut ten minutes ago, and no matter how much you rush, it seems that everything is working against you. your hair was frizzier than ever, and you hated having it any other way than down. tonight, however, you do not wish to look like you just woke up and forgot about the dinner. you resort for a simple hairclip, pulling out a few strands of hair to frame your face. finally, you feel decent enough to leave the room.

yeosang hears the clicking of shoes, then stands up. his jaw drops at the sight, and he almost forgets to talk. he hasn't seen you with your hair up, ever, not in the gym either. you had some sort of a loose braid, but loose and messy enough to look how you normally do your hair. your face is exposed completely, along with your neck. yeosang was never one to gawk at a woman, but the way the deep red colour of the evening gown complimented your skin and the fabric hugged your curves had him stuttering. your lips had a red tint, with a hint of glitter, both matching the dress. the dress sparkles under the lights as you walk over to him, like the stars yeosang looks at all day and night.

"don't you look handsome." you smile.

he wears a loose, slightly see through black shirt, with nothing underneath. your mouth waters at the sight of the outline of his chest and abs. you so desperately want to run your nails down his torso. he also wears black slacks, and polished black shoes. his hair is tamed, falling in soft blonde locks around his face and showing his eyes properly.

"you look... uh-" his gaze roams your body, up and down multiple times. it lingers on your lace up heels, and if you looked at him for just a bit longer, you would see the way he gulped and licked his lips. "you look dashing."

"thank you, yeosang. you're very sweet."

he pulls out the chair for you, and that simple act already gives you butterflies. as you sit and look at the menu, as if it's your first time seeing it, you can't help but think whether this is a date. you fear to ask. two people looking good and sitting down for dinner doesn't always mean a date, right? even when they keep blushing at each other every few moments?

"are those your clothes?" you ask, chewing on the appetizer.

"no, actually. borrowed them from some guy named seonghwa, i think it said on the bag. he has good taste. i might borrow more things from him once in a while. what about you? that dress has to be yours, it looks like it was made for you."

"i borrowed it from some lady. seems that she only took evening gowns with her. from all of this, only the hair clip is mine."

yeosang nods, shoving a bruschetta in his mouth. "you look pweffy wif your hair up."

"what?" you laugh, taking the last appetizer from the sharing plate.

"i said..." he swallows, "you look pretty with your hair up. you should wear it like that more often."

"will do, sir."

two hours of eating, conversing and laughing later, you drag yeosang from his seat to dance. it has to be the prosecco speaking, because you would never ask him such a thing sober. especially because you can't dance.

"there is no music," he stands in front of you, hands resting on your waist.

he is slightly tipsy, but the sober one between the two of you. you wrap your hands around his neck, and call ryan.

"yes, miss?"

"put on some music, please."

"right away, miss. do you wish for anything specific?"

"play something by elvis."

even though you claim you can't dance, your body moves itself to the soft rhythm of the music. you sway your hips and move your feet to match the blonde man. both of you still have hands firmly planted on the others body, and eyes locked with each other. this time, neither of you look away. something about this moment is so beautiful, and so sad. you have each other, but are alone. you try to make the best out of the situation, but both of you are terrified. you have only learned to mask it well so you can keep each other strong.

but tonight, neither of you holds back tears. you let them freely spill, feeling vulnerable in each others arms. you tremble under his touch, afraid to let go. his thumb grazes your cheek, wiping the new tears away and caressing your skin in the process. this time, it is his turn to comfort you. he wraps his arms around you and pulls you into a hug while still swaying to the rhythm of the music. his head rests in the crook of your neck, nose nuzzling against your exposed skin. you have your head buried into his chest, while your hands rest on his back and fingers scrunch the light material of the shirt.

"you smell nice." he compliments softly.

you scoff through tears. "it's a new shampoo."

"macadamia?"

"yeah. was feeling like autumn today."

"i like it. better than my old spice supply."

it feels comforting to silently cry into his chest. after being the one comforting him and staying strong for a long time, it is his turn to cheer you up. he holds your face in his hands, thumbs relentlessly wiping tears away.

"as beautiful as you look even when you cry, i'll have to interrupt with a fun discovery i've made a few days ago."

your cheeks heat up at the compliment. nobody has ever told you anything like that. even at your lowest, he makes you feel pretty.

"a discovery?"

"yeah. i saved it for tonight. come with me." the brown eyed man smiles at you before offering his hand for you to take.

"but slow down, these heels are quite uncomfortable." you accept his warm hand, taking it like you were made for it.

he stays still for a few moments, gaze locked on the black platform heels. a squeal leaves your lips when yeosang takes your body in his hands, carrying you bridal style. you hold onto his neck, and press your head against his shoulder for support.

"wait, the card! i left it on the table."

yeosang makes his way back to the table, then lowers you enough for you to grab the card. you playfully put it between your teeth, then wrap your arms around his neck again. as he walks, you nearly drift off on his shoulder. the soft clicking of his shoes against the floor, his scent, and his occasional humming gives you a sense of serenity. he smells of vanilla and bourbon, and it is a big refreshment from all the ocean breezes and sport rushes. seeing him order the glass of bourbon made your stomach flutter, as you were used to men only ordering beer or a rum-coke. he took small sips of it, a complete opposite to you who finished two glasses before getting to desert. the third one we shall not mention.

you feel him stop, and you open your eyes. you look at a door you've never seen before. looking around, you notice lockers lined up on the wall and a screen hanging in the middle of the room.

"i'll put you down now."

he sits you on the bench under the screen, then crouches in front of you and reaches for the card still nestled between your teeth. you move your head away, sitting on your hands. he scoffs, then reaches again. but you are stubborn. you move your head away once again, causing him to sigh and rest his hands on your knees for support.

"can i have the card please?"

you finally lean in, getting to his eye level. his eyes watch your lips sparkle, just like the card that is stuck between them. the tips of his ears become hot again, and he is glad that his hair is covering them today.

finally getting the hint, the man sighs, playing annoyed. he leans in, hands squeezing your knees, before he takes the other end of the card in his teeth. you almost giggle out loud, not actually expecting him to do that. he takes his sweet time retrieving it, slowly pulling it from your mouth and keeping his gaze locked with yours. you finally let go, accidentally leaving a red lip stain on your side of it.

he then transfers it to his hand, while using his other one to poke your forehead. "you really are something."

"that's right, poke the weak."

"you're going to have to take your heels off for this."

you groan, throwing your head back dramatically. "do i have to?"

"why, too lazy?"

"maybe."

yeosang rolls his eyes, then takes your leg and places it over his lap. his fingers place the card back between his teeth, this time the side with your lipstick on it. something about the whole situation is insanely intimate, and you might beg him to just chain you up on the side of the ship so you don't do anything. he begins untying the laces of the heel, making sure to graze your skin accidentally with his knuckles. you feel his warm breath on your skin, and can't help but squeeze your thighs together. it is only then you realize that he can see up your dress. but he chooses not to.

"you do it so naturally. do you usually take girl's heels off?"

a pinch to your thigh causes you to jump and yelp, and you use your other leg to gently bump his shoulder with the tip of the heel. he doesn't react, only smirking to himself while still looking down and working on the halfway undone lace. you repeat the action, feeling mischievous and set on seeing what he'll do. on the third bump, yeosang grabs your ankle, yanking it forward along with your body and looks up at you.

your legs are now slightly spread, and he can easily look if he wanted to. but he still doesn't. his eyes stay locked with yours, no longer a playful glint in them. his pupils are dilated, causing his eyes to appear darker than usual. a gulp goes down your throat painfully slow, realization hitting you. he might not like this type of teasing and joking, and you might've pushed it too far. after all, he is trying to do a nice thing for you here. he is crouching on the ground for you, for god's sake.

"stay still." he almost growls, voice low and stern.

you nod, your eyes falling down on the leg in his lap. then, you notice the bulge in his pants. he might not be as angry as you thought after all. you stifle a smirk and decide to sit still and make it easier for him.

the man finally takes off one of your heels, and when you want to set your bare foot on the floor, he keeps it still in his lap. the tiles are cold, he says. he works on the other one, taking his sweet time while you admire the room.

you wonder what it is, and where he is taking you. the room gently sways in your eyes, or it might just be you. whatever it is, you trust him.

"feeling better?" he rubs your red and bruised soles. as comforting as it feels, you have to remove them before you drip through your dress and on the bench.

no man was ever this gentle and caring with you. yeosang doesn't even have that kind of relationship with you, and he is already way ahead of all the men you've ever been with. you might've just hit the jackpot with him. spending your life on this ship alone with him doesn't seem like the worst way to live.

"yes, better. thank you, yeosang. you're very sweet. who taught you how to be a gentleman?"

"my sister. that dumbass." he scoffs.

he then proceeds describing how he learned from her horrible boyfriends. they were always selfish, and she always felt alone even when she was in a relationship. she mostly felt used, ignored, and a second choice. yeosang would witness them coming home, doing the deed, then leaving because they had plans with the boys. she cried often, and even though she always slammed the door in yeosang's face whenever he wanted to comfort her, she was grateful that he won't grow up to be like them.

"your sister sounds nice. i've only had asshole brothers."

"well, none of them are in our way now. my sister won't suffer for another nine hundred years, and you won't see your asshole brothers for the rest of your life."

you continue rambling about how strict your father always was, how your mother only listened and rarely ever defended you against his accusations and your brothers' bullying, and how you had to hide every relationship and never got to enjoy them properly. although, now that you think about it, you had the same experience as his sister. you are glad not to be stuck with someone like them.

"now, wear this for me. there's a changing room right there. and don't ask. i promise, it will be worth it."

you feel like a child after coming out of the dressing room, standing up when he tells you, turning around and facing a certain direction. you both wear tight black clothes, and he checks the screen every now and then. once he makes sure that you are wearing the clothes properly, he opens one of the lockers.

"no." your jaw drops in disbelief.

"yes." he says, happily pulling out an astronaut suit.

"yeosang, that- is that safe? i mean, you're not thinking about leaving the ship, are you? this is just dress up, isn't it?" you ramble.

"it is perfectly safe. you told me once to trust you. now, it's your turn to trust me. why do you get to show me the cool stuff around here, but i don't get to do that for you?"

"yes, but... this is outside the ship. it's open space!"

yeosang helps you put the suit on, despite your ranting. you hold onto his shoulders while you put your legs in the boot part of the suit, then your arms until yeosang zips it up. it feels like you already have dozens of layers on you. he stifles a chuckle, and you squint at him.

"what is it?"

"you look like a penguin."

"yeah, well, so do you."

"i know. you just look cute."

he turns around to grab the gloves and helmet, leaving you to blush by yourself while he finishes zipping himself up. he brought back the fear you had forgotten about; fear of the unknown and stranded. at least if something happens, you are not alone.

"head up." you do so, and he connects an oxygen and communication system to the suit, then rolls up the collar of the undersuit so that it protects your neck and head, leaving only your face visible. "good girl."

"you need to stop saying that." you blurt out.

"and you need to stop teasing me every few minutes. there is only so much i can take."

"you're the one to talk! you always-"

"hey." his hand grabs your jaw, turning your head to look at him and stopping your complaining. "behave. or else."

"or else...?" you whisper, the prosecco still pulling the worst in you.

he leans in, noses almost touching and lips close enough to feel his warmth on yours. he looks into your eyes, then down at your lips, still holding your jaw in his hand. "or else i might just have to tame you somehow."

you gulp audibly. he smirks at that, then lets go of you and proceeds to put your helmet on. you feel frustrated. he is playing your game, and he is winning. you are supposed to make him blush and stutter, not the other way around.

"there, all fixed. can you breathe?"

"yes."

"can you hear me?"

"duh."

"through the system, dummy." he laughs, tapping on the wire that connects inside the suit.

"ah, yes. i can."

"good. i hope you don't have to pee."

"don't remind me of that! i had half a bottle of prosecco and am wearing like a hundred layers."

"good. no more pee talk. let's do this."

yeosang slides the card on the door, and enters the small space. when it closes, the space fills with smoke and lots of lights start going off and on.

"pressure stabilized."

"thank you!" he yells, playful smile dancing on his lips.

with a frown, you hit his arm for mocking you. he gently nudges you, as if pushing you away. you both know that if he wanted to, he could've pushed you way harder. and it makes you a little horny.

just in time, yeosang slides the card near the other door, then puts the card safely in the suit pocket and zips it. the round door opens, sliding up and revealing the dark void. instinctively, you grab his hand with two of yours. clinging to him like a sloth, you stand on the edge of the spaceship and look down. it strange that when you step over the threshold, no gravity will pull you down.

"wait!" you stop him before he steps over. "have you done this already?"

"uh... yes? i mean, i didn't go far or stay long. i think i hung for a few seconds from that handle and rushed back in. was scared shitless, honestly."

"you fool!" you hit him again, multiple times.

"ow! hey, what, what?!"

"you went to test it alone? you could've- you could've injured yourself! or worse! something could've gone wrong, and i would be all alone again!"

"you didn't think i'd bring you here before seeing if it's safe, did you? what if only one of us survived, the other would have to live with that guilt until the end of their life." he explains, holding you by your shoulders and gently shaking you as he speaks. "i know we've known each other only for a little over a month now, but i'd never do that to you. we only have each other, and i'd never do anything to leave you alone on this thing. i promise."

"promise?" your bottom lip quivers.

he sighs, closing his eyes and leaning his helmet against yours, as if leaning his forehead. "i promise."

"i believe you."

"good. otherwise, this would be a very bad idea."

with that, he pulls you over the edge, holding onto the handle on the outer surface of the ship. you squeal, legs wiggling in the unknown and arms firmly wrapped around his free one. he holds you close, not yet moving until he is sure that everything looks fine.

"i'll let go now, alright?"

"what if we drift away?"

"we won't, i tied us up to the ship. we can get back whenever we want."

you give yeosang only a few minutes of silence, before bombarding him with questions again. he answers every single one he knows, assuring you that he has everything under control. using the moment when you are focused on something on your space suit, he slowly lets go of the handle. as soon as you feel yourself drifting away, you glue yourself to his side, even going so far to wrap your legs around his.

"y/n, you'll have to let me go. i can't move like this."

"i'm scared."

"you want to go back?"

"no."

"then," he peels you away from himself, instead holding your hand properly in his. "let go."

you now float in the void, holding his hand and admiring the ship from the outside.

"you're looking the wrong way, doll. turn around."

due to the strange and spine-chilling situation you are in, you miss his little nickname directed at you. with his help, you slowly turn your back to the ship, and focus on the newfound space.

"look, down there." he points to the side.

"oh my god!" you exclaim, fear and excitement mixing inside of you. "what is that?!"

it is a bright, giant cloud of shiny dust. it has a light pink hue and a faded purple in the center. 

"it's a nebula." he simply says.

"aren't they more colorful? i mean... that's just looks like a space cloud. it's nothing like the photos they send to us."

"ah, those images are taken with long exposure to capture all the lights, and edited later. our eyes cannot process all of those colours, so they sometimes add them on later."

"oh. well, nevertheless, it is stunning. it looks so glorious. i want to touch it."

"no, y/n, you can't touch the remains of a dead star."

"but why not?" you play along, acting like the spoiled child.

both of you laugh, holding onto each other and staring at the beauty of this frightening place.

"how did they calculate the trajectory? what if they missed some asteroid or something?"

"please don't talk about asteroids while we pathetically hang from a space ship in the void. i beg."

"sorry," you smile sheepishly.

"had enough? want to go back?" he asks, checking on your suit.

"not yet."

"want to go a bit furth-"

a snap interrupts him, coming from the ship. before you can look that way, yeosang pushes you away from him just in time, and you scream. a white object passes between the two of you, close enough to hit you. another snap is heard, then another. you finally look at the ship, right before more objects start flying at you. one of the smaller debris hits you, right in the helmet, sending your body further away. a few moments of silence pass, both you and yeosang going through shock. until you hear slight wheezing, and feel cool air on your face.

one of the boards on the surface on the ship must've come loose and broke into pieces. you gasp, body and soul reaching for the man now far away from you.

"i'm coming!" he man yells, panicked. but the communication starts glitching. it cuts off his words, and soon enough, you can't hear him anymore.

the air becomes harder to breathe, and lack of oxygen could kill you, if fear doesn't do it first. your vision becomes spotty, and yeosang's figure slowly starts blending in with the nebula behind him. you try covering the crack with your hand, and it helps for a short amount of time. you accidentally apply more pressure on it, causing the helmet to further break and wheezing intensify. the system begins to go crazy, sending you signals and urging you to get back on the ship. dozens of beeping noises, red lights and whatnot going off in your suit, yet all you can focus on is yeosang's failed attempts to reach you.

"yeosang..." you call, hoping he might answer.

but he doesn't, instead working with his arms and legs to get to you.

"keep... eyes... open... please..." his voice echoes inside the helmet, broken and mixed with robotic sounds. "take... hand... try... reach..."

"i can't," you breathe out, eyes closing. it is the last thing he hears from you.

"no!"

your vision blackens, and you stop the squirming, instead letting your body in the control of the cosmos. maybe that's how it was supposed to be from the beginning. no escaping doomsday, no ships, no wandering in the void, no claiming other planets. maybe humans were supposed to be the ones with limited knowledge. they weren't meant to go this far. or maybe the human race is simply that insignificant, compared to everything else. just a small, useless percent among the stars. the universe will stand, and continue being terrifyingly beautiful and endless, with or without us.

it feels like the right way to go. a punishment, for escaping your fate and leaving others to die a terrible death.

"i'm sorry, i'm so sorry, god i'm so sorry."

you couldn't have known, yeosang.

"i should've known, i should've stayed inside."

there was no way for you to know, yeosang.

"i should've died the first time i went, so you know not to do that."

don't speak such things, yeosang. maybe it was meant to be this way from the beginning.

"you don't deserve this, i do."

if you knew what i did, you would know that nobody deserves this like i do.

"please don't die on me, please. what do i do without you?"

you'll make it. you'll just have to do what i did. but you'll hate yourself for the rest of your life.

"none of it makes sense without you."

you'll hate yourself every time you look at their face. like i hate myself when i look at you.

"i- i think i love you. i don't think i'll make it without you."

i wish i could say it back without the guilt eating up my heart. i wish i could say all of this out loud to you, and not in my head. and yes, you will make it, yeosang.

kang yeosang hasn't eaten in days. the restaurant remains empty, as does the gym, and the discovered library, although with a few empty shelves. he sits on the cold floor of the emergency room, books scattered around him and one nestled in his hand.

"it is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. however little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters." he reads, voice raspy and tired.

there is a pile to his right, and a smaller one to his left. he reads from morning to night, even though the stars and moons do not show it. he sits there, reading page after page, all to you who lay on the bed in the middle. he lowers the book after a while, glancing at your sleeping body.

"you know, if you've already read pride & prejudice, i can skip it. now that i think of it, you might've already read everything i read to you these days. sorry. must be torture."

already used to not getting replies from you, he sets the book down with a sigh. he folds the corner of the page, marking where he stopped reading. if you were awake, a poke to his forehead would be guaranteed, if not worse. he laughs, remembering the first time you discovered he did that.

"i'm sorry, are you ill? what the hell are you doing to my books?!"

"first of all, they're not yours. second, it's just a book. and third, to answer your question: i'm folding the corner."

"my lord, i have just lost all my respect for you. please exit my chambers."

"gosh, stop reading game of thrones already. if i get called lord one more time, i'm jumping into the nearest black hole."

"i am the queen of the ship, i do as i wish."

"and what does that make me?"

"you can be my queen hand."

"not your king consort?"

"ha! you wish. your house and blood is no match for mine, yeosang of house kang."

"whatever you say, your grace."

yeosang had forgotten about his own room. he hung out with you all day, and slept in the bed opposite to yours. for the first time in a while, he didn't think about what's outside, and what fate awaits him. he enjoyed the moment, enjoyed making you laugh and pissed. he loved how you could switch from giggly to angry in a split second, only from him tickling you too much.

now? he can tickle you as much as he wants, but you won't budge. you breathe, but you don't show any other signs of consciousness. he has raided every room there is, looking for any medical help in any form. he asked ryan, though he should've known better than that. i am not programmed for that kind of procedure, sir. yeosang already knew that sentence before it was said. it took everything in him to not smack the robot, but he heard your voice in the back of his head, defending the soulless thing.

he stands up, setting the book aside on the pile that is waiting to be read. he approaches the circular table, where he has laid you, stripped you of the heavy spacesuit and only left the first layer of tight clothes, then covered you with a light blanket. he managed to connect a few tubes to your body, following the instructions on the screen above the table. he can now see your vitals, he just doesn't know what to do with it. he relies on the ai, hoping it is right.

"if you do not wake up soon, my queen, i will take your throne," he jokes, tapping a damp cloth on your forehead. "then what will you do?"

he unbuttons his silk sleep shirt and stays in his white tank top, suddenly feeling hot inside the room. he folds it on the table next to your head, and pushes the hair out of your face. the system beeps above his head, showing increased heartrate. he looks down at you, searching for any sign of consciousness other than breathing.

"can you hear me?"

your heartrate goes back to normal, dimming yeosang's hope. he finishes wiping the sweat off your forehead and neck, then gently squeezes your hand before sitting back on the floor and resuming his reading.

when he wakes up, he finds himself in his own room. how he got there, he could not recall. but he left your side, after he promised himself to not do that ever again. almost jumping out of bed, the man dashes down the halls, the shiny card in his hand still holding your lipstick stain as he presses it against the various door sensors. he reaches the emergency room in record time, and his heart almost stops. you aren't there.

the tubes once attached to your body now lie on the floor, and the blanket is neatly folded on the table. his sleep shirt is gone, along with the book he wasn't done reading to you. hands hurriedly rubbing his eyes, yeosang fails to process what happened. he rushes through the rest of the ship, searching every nook and cranny in hopes of seeing your face. even going to the place he has been avoiding for the past few days. the spacesuits and helmets still lay on the floor, forgotten. the cracked one delivers a pang to the blonde man's heart, a painful reminder of his careless acts and their consequences.

hopeless, he reaches one final spot. the cockpit.

he had promised you not to go there without you, and the other way around. both of you were waiting for a perfect opportunity, when both of you are sober and wide awake. that never happened.

yeosang breaks his promise, holding the card to the sensor. the doors slide open, revealing the long awaited cockpit. two tall chairs stand side by side, separated by a narrow control panel. in front of the chairs is a wider and more detailed control panel. and above it all, a panoramic window. the ship is flying through a nebula, its vivid colours taking yeosang aback. bright shades of orange, yellow and blue envelop the ship, reflecting in yeosang's wide eyes. 

"you said that the colours are edited on photos. how dare you lie to your queen?"

the man steps back, recognizing your voice.

"y/n?"

"yes?" one of the chairs turns around, and you sit in it. with a smile on your lips, the lost book in your hand, and his sleep shirt hanging from your body. but all he sees is your face.

he exhales, relief washing over his body like never before. not able to control himself, he rushes towards you, picking you up from the chair and enveloping you in his arms. the book falls to the floor, your arms flying to return the hug. it never felt as right as now.

"gosh, how did you get here by yourself? are you hurt?" he sets you on the floor, cupping your face in his big palms. "are you alright?"

"i'm fine. a little dizzy."

"i thought i lost you."

not able to stop himself, yeosang presses his lips against your forehead. he stays there, inhaling your scent and listening to your breathing. your hands slide down from his neck and find their place on his chest, feeling his heartbeat under your palm. it beats fast, almost matching yours. he pulls away, resting his forehead against yours properly this time, not through a helmet.

"how dare you leave me alone?"

"is that a way to speak to your queen?"

he chuckles at your jokes, even in such moments. he should get used to it by now. his thumbs rub your cheekbones, soothing you and making whatever worry you had left perish. you can't help the tears that prickle your eyes when you look at him. his are as red and glossy, and it takes you over the edge.

you climb on your toes, properly reaching his face. his heart beats faster under your palm, as if threatening to jump out. slowly, and with a bit of hesitation, you press your lips against his. it is a mere two second kiss, before you pull away. you search his face for any emotions; disapproval, disgust, discomfort. yet none of those are present.

he has his eyes shut, still taking in the kiss. you want to pull away, to give him space. but his hands slide down to your waist, pressing your body against his. he leans in again, capturing your lips with his. his kiss is an opposite to yours: confident and sure. he pecks your lips once, twice, again and again, until you finally relax in his arms and let your hands roam his body. fingers finding comfort in his blonde locks, and body pressed firmly against his, you kiss him like it's your last.

his grip intensifies, his fingers buried into your sides as yours gently pull on his hair. he picks you up, only to set you back into the chair you've been sitting in all this time. he easily finds the button to lower the backrest and turn it into a temporary bed, then climbs on it with you. his lips are hungry for yours, and even though you could use a moment of breathing, you do not stop him. allowing yourself another moment of bravery, you gently lick his bottom lip, asking to deepen the kiss. and the man listens. he opens his lips, tongue in search for yours while your hands play with the collar of his tank top on his back. you slide one hand underneath, feeling his hot skin on yours.

gently, yeosang grazes your tongue with his, and you taste salty liquid on his lips. tears fall down both your faces, drops rolling down your cheeks and mixing in your mouths with the kiss. it is emotional, passionate, and intimate in every way. he pulls away for a split second, only to take a breath and look at you.

his chest rises and falls heavily, and his lips are plump and a deep pink. his hair is ruffled, your doing. he already looks breathtaking.

"is that... my sleep shirt?" he finally notices.

"oh, yeah. i was feeling a bit chilly, i borrowed it. want it back?"

"no, you can- oh."

you sit up, enough to let the white silk material slide off your skin and pool on the chair. you had stripped yourself from the tight undergarments yeosang had left you in, instead wearing a white bralette and matching lace panties. from the size of his sleep shirt, he didn't even notice that you weren't wearing the short bottoms you usually do.

the white has never complimented your skin as beautifully as today, right in this moment. yeosang can't help but remove your hair from your chest and neck, letting it fall back and exposing your body to him. you let him, taking your time in examining him as well. he runs his knuckles down your wet cheek, wiping the tears that decorate your face, and continues down your neck. his forefinger takes the lead, caressing your collarbones and making a path between your breasts.

you take his hand, guiding it to the outline of your panties. his breath seems to stop for a moment, but a gentle smile on your lips assures him that everything is alright. he groans, slamming his lips back on yours, this time sloppier and rougher. noses brushing against each other, teeth clashing, and hands hurriedly getting rid of clothes, it is all you've needed all this time.

him, all of him.

a thin layer of sweat coats his body, making his pale skin shine under the lights of the nebula. he peppers kisses along your jawline, down your neck, and settles on your collarbones.

"my queen," he whispers, then runs his tongue along your collarbone.

your fingers play with his damp locks, gently pushing his head towards you and inhaling his scent. he seems to have a fixation on the certain part of your body, because he can't help but mark it with purple spots. you hiss at the sweet pain, and yeosang is quick to lick your fresh wounds, as if apologizing for what he did.

he lingers around the area a bit more, switching between the crook of your neck and the collarbones, until he finally dips his head down to your breasts. a shiver runs down your spine when he cups them, giving them a gentle squeeze before kissing all over them. you tremble under his touch, hips desperately searching his for friction. but he lowers your body back on the chair, limiting your moves.

you forget just how strong he is, and him holding your body in place with a single hand reminds you how much he works on himself, even when his life has completely changed. a gasp escapes your lips as you feel the tip of his hot tongue circling your tense nipple. he catches it between his lips, gently sucking it while his other hand travels down your body. his short nails graze your skin, and you've never felt this sensitive in your life.

he pays attention to every inch of your body, showering it with love and passion, marking your skin as he goes and making you his in every way.

"yeosang-" you choke out, feeling him bite your lower stomach.

"yes?"

"please," you beg, running your nails down his bulk arms and shoulders.

"patience, love. you'll get where you want to. what's the rush? we have our own eternity."

the way he speaks in a hoarse voice has you seeing imaginary stars beside the real ones out the window. he pulls away from your body, just enough to plant a kiss on your damp forehead. he pulls you in for a kiss again, sighs of pleasure leaving both your mouths as you kiss and feel each other. his bare body finally leans against yours completely, and you instinctively spread your legs. his arm hooks under your knee, bending it over and caressing your thigh in the process.

"you're everything i've ever wished for." he whispers between kisses. "i just failed to see it. it took me losing you to understand that."

"yeosang..." his name rolls of your lips so sweetly in a light moan.

"i'm so sorry for what i did."

"don't apologize."

"i will. you almost died because of me."

"don't speak of that now," you hush him with another kiss.

he listens, putting his other hand on your other leg and gently spreading them. he falls to his knees, hands still firmly planted on your thighs. you try pushing them together, instinctively, but you should've known better than that. they stay in place under his grip, exposing your glistening core to his hungry eyes. it's almost like he can see the colorful dust cloud down there, the layer of arousal mimicking his sweat and reflecting the blue of the sky.

yeosang isn't in a rush, unlike you. your hand pathetically grips his hair, pushing his head towards your pulsating and burning core. he chuckles between your legs, cool air hitting your clit from the proximity.

"please?"

"what do you beg for, pretty?"

"don't tease me, i've waited long enough. please, yeosang."

"oh, but i've waited long too. and now that i am here, i want to take my sweet time. i want to devour you, feel all of you, to mould you so that you fit perfectly in my hands. i want to make love to you among the stars, and i want to make you feel like a real queen of the skies."

it's like he fell out of a book. he knows all the right words, all the right gestures, and all the right touches. his tongue dips between your folds, plush lips following and lazily caressing your clit. your fingers tighten their grip in his hair, and your other hand digs its nails into his shoulder for support. settling for soft and gentle licks, yeosang truly takes his time with you. he makes out with your folds, as if they're your real lips, sucking on them, grazing them with his teeth and kissing along your clit. you squirm under his painfully slow moves, grinding your hips on his face in hopes of getting more friction.

tired of your disobedience and impatience, yeosang places your legs over his shoulders, burying his head further into your core and switching to rougher moves. lewd noises escape your lips, and you do not try to conceal them. he should know what effect he has on you.

he slurps up your nectar, coating his lips in shiny fluid and enjoys your core essence. he eats you like a starved man, not bothering to take a proper breath. he sucks harshly on your clit, drawing moans and gasps from you. when he pulls away, his cheeks are flushed, and his lips plump and glistening with your arousal. a thin string of saliva connects his mouth to your core, and you almost black out at the sight. you pull him by his hair, crashing your lips on his again. you taste yourself on his tongue, and even though you never liked reading about it or seeing it, it is something that you were truly missing out on.

you nudge him, asking him to switch positions. he smiles into the kiss, but turns you over so effortlessly. he is now the one laying down, and you are the one to break the kiss and get on your knees. you see him clearly for the first time. you decide to give him a taste of his own medicine, by taking it slow and teasing him. you kiss his thighs, ignore his aching area, and continue kissing his lower stomach. he can't help but reach for your hair, softly caressing it as you try your hardest to hold back, but seeing that he doesn't mind the delay, but rather enjoys it, you stop the teasing.

 your tongue doesn't hesitate to lick a stripe up his hardened cock, circling around his tip and collecting the precum. he hums with pleasure, but doesn't close his eyes. he wouldn't miss this for anything. you take his red tip between your lips, slowly pushing until you almost touch his stomach. he twitches inside your hot mouth, the tip caressing the back of your throat and making your eyes tear up. finally, crying for a different reason.

unlike you, he doesn't buck his hips to speed up your moves. he is perfectly obedient, petting your head and muttering words of praise.

"that's a good girl," he whispers.

you bob your head up and down, testing the waters. he only sighs and hums, not yet moaning. your impatience wins again, your body eager to extract more dramatic sounds from him. you pull away from him, but not without a teasing kiss to his tip, before climbing into his lap.

"how do you want it, my queen?" he cups your face, and you're quick to nuzzle your cheek against his warm palm.

"i want it just like this. me on top."

"oh? didn't take you for one to be on top."

"i'll surprise you with so many things, kang yeosang. you just wait."

"that's my girl."

driven by pure lust and euphoria, you do not care about protection, or the aftermath. you simply raise your hips and align his cock with your clenching hole, then slide down on it. he slides in, inch by inch, deliciously stretching you and filling you to the brim. when you finally sit on it, both of you moan out, hands reaching for each other. his hands help you roll your hips, while your hands feel his torso and chest. you move, slowly, just the way he likes it.

the moans and sighs leaving his lips are the prettiest sounds you've ever heard. you stay silent, wanting to hear more of him. his eyes are fixed at the point where both of you are connected, pupils dilated as he watches your wet hole swallow him whole. the room is filled with squelching noises, the creaking of the chair, passionate kissing here and there, and neverending exclamations of pleasure.

you find yourself whining for release pretty quickly, the buildup already more intense than any of your previous orgasms. yeosang seems to be reaching his end as well, seeing his head hanging from the chair and exposing his pretty neck to you. you can't help but snake your hands up his torso, fingers finding the key pressure on his neck and gently pressing. he chokes out with surprise, sending you a single glance of pure ecstasy before letting his head fall back again.

the dried tears on his glowing face look majestic, along with his eyes rolled back and his hair a mess. he looks glorious under you, especially as his moans get more high pitched and needy. you feel yourself becoming tired, but you love the position too much to change.

"come on, love. fuck yourself dumb on my cock."

such vulgar words from such an angelic face make your insides quiver. it gives you a boost of energy, and you quicken your pace and bounce just like he told you to. he doesn't break eye contact with you, nor does he let you do all the work. his hips meet yours, reaching deeper inside and making you finally moan out loud. he sits up straight, pulling you close to him and holding your body in place so he can collide his hips with yours quicker and with more accuracy. you are a drooling mess, forehead pressed against his as you shamelessly moan into his lips.

"come on, angel. milk me dry like the good girl you are."

your walls squeeze around him, moans becoming whines and mewls.

"fuck, love- i'm going to fill you up-" he grunts, lips desperately chasing yours.

but both of you are too lust driven to kiss properly, so you settle for moaning into each others mouth and bite each others lips, all while chasing the sweet pleasure.

"my love..." he moans.

"yes-" you choke out, feeling the buildup getting ready to errupt.

"my fate..." he grabs your face, forcing you to look into his eyes.

"yeosang-" you sob, pathetically grinding your hips on his.

"my queen of cosmos."

the orgasm tears through you, erupting in your lower stomach and spreading to the edges of your body. warm liquid shoots inside you, and yeosang keeps rocking his hips to the point where he has your eyes rolled back and jaw dropped, no sound exiting your mouth. your nails leave marks on his back, shoulder and neck, just like your lips do on his. you bite down on his bottom lip, accidentally making it bleed. he hisses at the pain, but doesn't forget to help you ride out your orgasm. your moans bounce off the walls of the cockpit, filling yeosang's ears like heavenly music.

the man doesn't seem to get enough of you, because he lays you on your back and slides back inside you. you don't protest, instead relaxing your body and throwing you head back, much like he did. you let him praise you, use you, worship you. you could never handle more than one orgasm, yet kang yeosang has you moaning on the third one already. by the fourth one, you feel like you're drunk or on some kind of substances.

the vivid colours of the nebula never stop, dancing with each other and illuminating your bodies. yeosang kisses you, over and over, whispering sweet things into your ear and asking if you're good. you don't reply with words, but with a kiss to his forehead, nose, lips, whatever you could.

yeosang makes love to you until the ship swims out of the dust cloud, revealing the void littered with millions of glimmering dots once again. you've stopped counting after five, and let yourself go in his arms. maybe this was your fate after all.

or maybe you were kept alive just to confess to your wrongdoings to the man that has proclaimed his love to you. maybe your punishment is his kindness towards you, when you know you don't deserve it.

"i love you."

"i love you too, yeosang." you say it back, guilt still eating up your heart like the first time he said it, unaware that you could hear him.

the blonde haired man didn't have to try hard to get used to waking up beside you. it was his favorite part of the day for months now: waking up to your kisses, or the other way around. having breakfast together, going to the gym, then showering together. perhaps it was repetitive, but to yeosang, it was everything.

today, however, he woke up way before you. he has raided the luggage room, and created a mess until he found what he was looking for. you did your usual routines alone today, with yeosang busying himself with something else all day.

"i'd like to finish that book today, if you don't mind? i'll see you for dinner tonight."

"alright then. i'll miss you." you pout.

"i'll see you in a few hours, darling. fancy dress code?"

"sure! we haven't done that in a while. i can't wait."

and that's how yeosang found himself in the restaurant, spending two hours decorating the place with ryan's help.

"is the rose too much, ryan?"

"depends on the occasion, sir."

"let's say... proposal."

"i believe it is too little, sir."

"yeah, well, unless you can shit out a rose right here, i don't have much choice. i stole this one from the little terrarium in the lobby."

ryan doesn't respond, in his true robot style. yeosang sighs, lighting the candle on the table. you should be here any minute now.

"maybe i should've done it in the big terrarium." he overthinks.

"if i may, sir, the hibernation room would also be a meaningful place."

yeosang raises an eyebrow, amused. "hibernation room?"

"it's what started your new fate."

"ah, the broken pods. i guess i have to visit the engineers on board once, to thank them for that malfunction."

"oh, no need sir. you can thank miss y/n."

yeosang stops arranging the cutlery, looking at the humanoid robot. "what do you mean?"

"well, she is the one behind the malfunction. at least behind yours. so she is the one to thank."

"what?"

"oh, i thought you knew. apologies sir-"

"explain." he walks towards ryan, brows furrowed and hand fidgeting with the jewelry box in his pocket.

"i really shouldn't, sir. apologies, i-"

"you'll tell me," yeosang reaches for a glass of water, ready to pour it over the machine, "right. fucking. now."

"her pod was the only one that malfunctioned. yours was perfectly fine, sir. miss was lonely, and sad. she spent a whole week looking for a perfect match, and found you. she opened your lid, and rushed back to her room."

a crash, similar to the one on the very first day he woke up, echoes through the restaurant. yeosang turns around, finding your startled face looking at him and a broken bottle of wine by your feet.

you don't dare move, afraid of what he'll do. you have no excuse. and no shame.

he slowly steps towards you, causing you to step back. unlike the first day, his face doesn't give away anger. he is calm, and it scares you more. you wish he'd yell, push, throw. yet he doesn't, simply walking into your direction and stopping right in front of you, separated by a broken bottle. he steps in dark red liquid, the ruined shoes being the last thing on his mind.

"yeosang-" you whimper, his still face torturing you.

"don't."

"b-but-"

"do. not."

"you have to understand- i- i was just-"

his hand wraps around your neck, putting light pressure on it. "you took everything from me."

"yeosang, please."

"you do not get to cry. you do not get to feel my pity. you do not get to feel my mercy."

"please, understand me!"

"no!" he drops you on the floor. "i won't fucking understand you! i'd never do such a cruel thing to someone! have you felt no shame every time you looked at me? kissed me? comforted me when i cried about it?!"

pieces of glass tear your palms as you try to stand up, but fail. you sob on the floor, chest hurting from intensity. the glass shards dig into your thighs, and your dress soaks up the wine. you wipe your cheeks with your bloodied hand, accidentally smearing a few red drops on your face.

"here." he throws something in front of you before storming off.

you wail on the floor for what seems like hours. with your knees pressed to your chest, and your head resting on top of your knees, you cry. your dress is soaked with alcohol, tears and snot. you have no dignity left at this point. once you finally start calming down, you notice the plush box that lays discarded on the floor.

it reveals a stunning ring, with a simple stone in the middle. it looks like it was overgrown by vines, and is a rose gold colour. guess you can add it to the box with the broken necklace now. another relationship broken because of you.

days are longer than ever, with you waking up alone and eating alone. that is all you do, besides an occasional visit to the terrarium. when you hear his doors open, you do not dare exit your room until you hear them close. with each day you wake up, you love him more. your body aches for his, and soul yearns for his. maybe if you told him right away in the beginning, this wouldn't have happened. maybe he would've accepted it, he would have more time to understand.

you're a crying mess, from morning to night, until you pass out of exhaustion.

today, you woke up with a hoarse voice and painful chest. you desperately needed to get out the room, no matter if you heard yeosang's door or not. you might faint if you don't leave.

you limp through the hallways, holding onto the walls. you make it all the way until the rotating tube. why was there no other way to get to the other side?

you sit at the edge, head leaning against the stationary wall and legs hanging above the space. you watch the tube rotate, not brave enough to jump in today. but if you don't make it to the terrarium, you might stay here forever.

the doors open behind you, the familiar voice of the system echoing through the tube. you gulp, his scent enveloping you. you expect him to walk away, or simply jump in the zero gravity space and continue his path. but he holds out his hand for you to take.

you look up at him, eyes tired and bloodshot red. he spares you a single glance, before furrowing his eyebrows and looking away. your hand slides into his, as if made with his measurements in mind. he pulls you up slowly, then presses your body close to his. it is as if you were never separated. his vanilla scent fills up your nostrils, and soft breathing soothes you. you hold onto him, like you did when he took you space walking.

he moves through the tube effortlessly, stopping for a while to gaze at the planets below. they are as breathtaking as the previous ones, and the ones to come. yeosang never ceases to be amazed by the beauty of the universe.

upon reaching the other side, you clutch onto him, knowing that this is going to be a rare occasion now. maybe it was just you, but his breath hitches, as if he wants to say something. no sound leaves his pretty lips, not even when you land in the hallway and he helps you find your balance.

"thank you." you whisper.

he stays by your side, eyeing you up and down. "are you alright?"

"uh, yeah. aside from... you know."

he presses the back of his head against your forehead to feel your temperature. "you're a little hot."

a smile creeps on your lips, and you are desperate to make a joke. typical you, making jokes in situations that are serious.

"go on, say it." he sighs, his lips curving up as well.

"no, the moment is gone now."

"want me to repeat it?"

you roll your eyes, then become serious again. he stares at you, an unexplainable emotion on his face. disgust? maybe.

"where are you headed? you should lay down if you're feeling sick."

"terrarium. i need... fresh air."

"i was headed there too."

"oh. sorry, i'll just go somewhere else." you start turning around, and he grabs you by your elbow.

"you don't have to. come here."

before you can protest, yeosang picks you up in his arms, carrying you bridal style once again. while he is focused on the path, you take the time to admire him. he is beautiful. his eyes also seem to be a reddish pink shade, and he has slight bags under his eyes. but before a hope sparks inside your heart, you remind yourself that he does not weep after you. he does it after his family, and after his changed fate.

after the life you stole from him.

"i can hear you thinking."

"sorry."

"stop apologizing."

"okay, sorry."

he looks down at you, amused. "you haven't changed a bit."

"uh... sorry?"

for his own sake, he decides to ignore you. when reaching the terrarium, he sets you down on one of the swings. your head feels lighter already, but your voice stays the same. you aren't used to being this silent, despite being alone for almost a month. you steady yourself, holding onto the chains that hold the plank you call a swing. yeosang stands behind it, putting his hands over yours and gently beginning to push it.

"i understand." he starts.

"you don't have to-"

"no, let me." and you do let him. he lightly pushes you on the swing, taking his time to form sentences. "while you were passed out... i wished for nothing more than for you to wake up. if you didn't, i'd probably do as you did. humans aren't made to live alone, and i never believed it. until i got in this situation. thus, i understand. what i did not understand though, why me? hundreds of men and women in those pods, and you chose me. what made me stick out? what made you come over and open the lid? it's not like there are any personality traits written anywhere. i could've been a douchebag, and you wouldn't have known. then what? would you have gotten rid of me? locked me somewhere?"

"you were simply... angelic." you don't have to think long to give him an answer. you did the thinking before opening his pod.

"angelic?"

"you had this beautiful face, serenity painted on it. true, i did not know anything about you. you could've been short tempered, violent, or worse. after all, i'm a girl. alone, with no protection. yet i took my chances. and you turned out to be perfect. i fell in love with every part of you; with your soul, brain, body. you were my dream partner."

he is speechless. for the first time ever you speak openly about it, and you do not stutter.

"and i wanted to be your dream partner. i tried my hardest to be perfect, but my previous doings kept coming back and haunting me. that night... i wanted to tell you. i truly did. but that stupid robot beat me to it. i mean, seriously, he can't push a few buttons but he can gossip?"

yeosang snorts, then nods in agreement.

"i'm sorry."

"what?" you whip your head around to look at him. "no, i'm the one who should be apologizing. you did nothing wrong!"

"i've been thinking. i apologize for what happened on the space walk. and i apologize for getting violent with you. i just felt... cheated. and stolen from. i felt betrayed. and all that by the person i love with all my being."

"but, yeosang-"

"look, y/n." he walks around the swing and crouches in front of you, stopping your swinging. his hands rest on your knees, thumbs absentmindedly rubbing your skin. "for all we know, they could all be headed to a different type of destruction. maybe they miscalculated. maybe the planet already has life on it, and they see humans as threat. they won't hesitate to exterminate them in order to protect their planet. or maybe it is a higher, more advanced civilization. i don't know about you, but i'd rather live my life on a sized down earth than live to see my own species die out or become slaves to someone else. so, in a way, thank you. for saving me."

"oh, yeosang." you exhale, falling on your knees and into his arms. "i love you. i love you so much."

"i love you too, princess. say..."

"yes?" you pull away, wiping your upcoming tears so they don't fall.

"can you give me my ring back so i can propose? but please act surprised."

you laugh, and he laughs with you. you pull it out from your pocket, and he looks at you with a wider smile.

"i can't believe you had it right here."

"had what?" you shove it into his hand.

"what do you mean? the ri- oh. right." he catches on.

you stand up, pretending to look at the plants while he shuffles behind you. he clears his throat after a while, making you turn around. you fake a shocked expression, putting your hand over your open mouth after seeing him on his knee. the box is opened, and the ring is as beautiful as the first time you saw it.

"will you marry me, my queen of cosmos? and rule the cosmos with me by your side?"

"i will, my queen hand."

🌠 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: first of all, omg a happy ending?? is this a first for barbz? i hope you enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it :)

🌠 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 (𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐚𝐥/𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠�� 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬)

@kodzukein @woomyteez @mulletdaddyjayjo @bae4choi @haatohwa @marvelahsobx @jxhnnyfav @angellluh @jjaemasung @oddracha @devastateed

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[forever--darling]

one of us | neteyam x avatar!reader

summary: when a person's life hangs in the balance, sometimes there is only one thing to do, one thing to ask of the great mother. a consciousness transfer, but the question remains: are you strong enough to pass through the eye of eywa? lots of feelings emerge as the only option left becomes the sole possibility

pairings: neteyam x avatar!reader

word count: 11.8k

warnings/notes: finally, swearing, major angst, mention of sky people, mention of death, mention of an afterlife, lots of feelings (all mostly sad), crying, more heartbreak, with sad fluff, we're so close to the end (2/3)

series masterlist | one of us: part seven | requests are currently open for now

All energy is only borrowed, never permanent, and one day you have to give it back.

It hadn’t taken long for Neytiri and Jake to make it to the camp, the pathway completely imprinted in his memory. He couldn’t talk the whole ride as the only thought that seemed to reach his mind was a suffocating amount of guilt. The same guilt that once had rotted away in his stomach years ago when he was still a dream walker, when the sky people had long since invaded Pandora, and when he was still working under Quaritch’s terms.

That guilt almost killed him when he gained the trust of the Omatikaya people. When Home Tree was destroyed, Grace was killed, and the great war brought many warriors home to their Great Mother. Not many were sparred and those that had looked to him for the answers, the mighty Toruk Makto. It wasn’t easy and often it took guidance from many to get him to where he was today but now here he was in that forest, that same perilous feeling overtaking his senses. 

He had known you were sick, not the full extent of it or how long it had been going on but he knew. Which meant as an adult, who had been watching over you, he was partly responsible. Responsible for the outcome of your life, the effect it had on his children, on his son, on his wife, on the people. He had let other commitments cloud his mind; the sky people, the new technology they were bringing back to the planet, and how they were getting closer to the village every day. He decided to focus on those things rather than checking in on you. Whatever happened he was partly responsible. As they stopped near the lab, the grey confines of it taunting him, he also knew where he was responsible, Max and Norm were too — if not more. 

Jake slid off of the direhorse, Neytiri behind him as he approached the large steel door coated in scratches and dents — it somehow stood in this environment and within these elements. Neytiri stiffened at the sight of it, every part of her screaming to rush back into the forest away from the very place she deemed as evil and foreign. She had no motivation to step foot into the metal box but the thought of you, the real you left her heart clenching in her chest.

Worry was the sole reason why she followed her husband, clinging to his back. It was that along with the fact that Jake would need someone to keep him grounded. As he stared at it, the cage it had become, he felt all of his frustration come to the surface as the terrified thought crossed his mind that you were dead. Raising his clenched fist to the door, he knocked, the loud sound echoing across the trees. 

The first compacted door opened and they moved inside. Neytiri felt her anxieties heighten as they stepped fully into a small compressing box. Jake stared forward through the glass of the second door, gaze locked on a human man standing in a white lab coat near the keypad for the door. He was so small, so weak, so angering. As the air decompressed in the box, the scientist clicked the keypad and the second door slid open.

Jake didn’t waste a moment. He stalked in there as if he owned the place. It felt so strange under his large blue feet after having once rolled across these tiled floors. The sight of the lab brought so many memories back to him; the link pods, the screens — so many memories, most of which he didn’t find comforting. 

Max appeared on the other side of the room in his own lab coat, a worried kink in his brow. At the sight of him, Jake snarled not afraid to use his intimidating statue as he walked across the room, “Where is she?” 

The demand was sharp, cold, and uncommon to be directed at Max, as he was one of Jake’s closest confidants for almost twenty years. Max blinked in surprise up at the Olo’eyktan, and at the sight of Jake in this space, he got his own flashbacks of the first day. The first day, all those years ago that Jake got his avatar. Oh, how things had changed since then. 

“Where is she?” he asked again, tone just as cold as it was before.

“She’s in the back room, but—” 

The two Na’vi’s pushed by Max, bending down as they moved through the doorway into a smaller more compact hallway. Max hurried after them in a state of panic as Jake refused to shut his mouth, all of his fears taking flight in ugly ways.

“What, you think I wouldn’t have realized what was going on? In case you have forgotten this isn’t my first rodeo. I used to do this and an avatar doesn’t just collapse like that unless a link process is interrupted or something is fucking wrong. So, tell me what the fuck happened!” 

The room opened up in front of them with a single curtain pulled over the area to provide more privacy. Jake could see the outline of Norm’s body behind the curtain bent down and saying something. Max unable to fully find the words to calm Jake down or provide an explanation other than the truth, plucked the blue curtain into his grasp and pulled it aside.

Norm’s head snapped up in their direction, his eyes widening slightly at the site of the two tall Na’vi within the lab. He was wrapping a blanket around your exhausted frame and as the couple’s eyes fell down to the wrangled weak body, both of their shoulders dropped in devastation. The harsh furrow in Jake’s brow fell away and he found himself gripping onto the doorway to stay upright. The sight of you brought an image of Grace in her final hours to the forefront of his mind and it was difficult to swallow.

You sat, your body stuck to the mattress, slumped down as if you couldn’t even sit up. Two or three blankets were pulled up to your chest where wires stuck out connecting to monitors nearby. Jake's ears flickered at the sound of their beeping and found that the numbers of your heart rate and blood pressure should have been stronger.

IVS were hanging up beside you, the large needle lined into your arm. Your skin was ashen, sunken in, all color completely drained with large purple circles pressed along the skin below your eyes. They were barely open and he wouldn’t have believed you were actually alive if it wasn’t for the twitch in your bony finger and the steady beeping of the monitor beside you. 

“She had a seizure while in the link pod. We were able to get them to stop but she is very weak,” Norm answered and stepped back from your crumbled form. One that felt less like you every day. 

“Oh, Great Mother,” Neytiri found herself crying as she moved forward and fell to her knees at the side of the bed. 

She wished to be anywhere but there, but the sight of you had masked all of the discomfort and the rage that was interlaced deep within her bones. Instead, all she could feel was the ache in her chest from the broken looks of her children at your avatar form that had been completely motionless in her son’s arms. She felt herself aching for the soul that was slipping through the fingers of Pandora. Her eyes took in the unfamiliar but familiar face and cried, tears welling up in her widened eyes. She found herself scanning your nose, your closed eyes, the high lift of your cheeks, and the shape of your jaw. It was you, without a doubt. 

Jake was able to find his voice again, this time with a newly added edge to it, “Why was she in the link pod in the first place?” 

“What?” Norm’s eyes narrowed in confusion, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Why was she in there?” Jake was becoming hostile at that point. “If you knew she was sick, if you knew it was this bad, how could you let her keep doing this? Especially with the strain that it already was putting on her weak body.”

“Ma’Jake, please,” Neytiri asked, her voice gently sweeping through the tension of the room, gaining the attention of his rigid eyes. She tilted her head towards you, and they all watched as your head lulled from side to side at the many voices that filled the room. Your breaths were shallow, taking up too much energy that you couldn’t even open your eyes. 

Jake lowered his voice slightly but the edge remained as he glanced back and forth from Norm to Max, “You should have stopped her.” 

“You don’t think we tried? You don’t think we didn’t say something to her every day, warning her of the risks, demanding her to stop?” Max became defensive then as he stepped closer to the towering figure of one of his closest friends. His eyes narrowed, the same worry that filled Jake’s, reflected in his own. “She is not a child anymore.” 

“You mean she’s not your child,” the Olo’eyktan corrected and just like that, all previous feelings were ripped from the room, leaving it in painful silence. 

Both Max and Norm’s heads dropped for a moment as a thought crossed their mind — maybe they hadn’t tried hard enough. Maybe they should have powered down the system even if you ended up hating them. Maybe they should have done more to protect you even when you were never their child, their full responsibility to bear. Maybe just maybe even though you grew up before their eyes into a grown woman, they should have taken into account that it didn’t mean to cut you loose from support and guardianship altogether. 

Max shook his head, almost as if he was going to regret what he was about to say, “No, she’s not.” 

“She may not be yours or technically a kid anymore but when she is living under your roof, you need to have some responsibility. When she is living under your roof, she is still a child,” Jake sighed, feeling the anger start to dissipate as he sent another glance at you, at your human body. At the very body, he hadn’t seen in almost two years, not like this, not this small, this different. You had grown and would be nineteen in the next year and it showed — you had become an adult under everyone's noses. If only you had the ability and the time to make it. “How much time does she have?” 

“We can’t know for sure but based on her state and how weak she is… Weeks? A month or two maybe?” Norm admitted, the state of how he found you in the link pod still pressed firmly into the front of his mind. Your faraway gaze, rigid body, and trembling lips. Your lips shook as if you were asking for time to kiss you and grant you treatment. You were barely there and laying in that damn bed, you were barely there. 

“She doesn’t have a few months, not with the sky people invading. We could have serious trouble on our hands in two months. The sky people are coming, they are getting closer every day and I need a plan. A plan to protect my family, my people, and my land. I need a plan and I am not going to put a sick young woman in the line of fire. I won’t.”

Jake shook his head and stepped further into the room, looking around at the medical supplies and the neutral-colored walls. The sterile smell filled his nose. It all reminded him of the V.A. hospital when there was a big hole blown through the middle of his life. That’s what the lab reminded him of and it sent a shiver down his spine. You couldn't stay there, not like this. He wouldn’t allow it because whatever the fuck they were doing wasn’t doing shit. Even with medicine and science on their side, it had done nothing. He wasn’t about to lose another person because of his actions — he wouldn’t. 

“She can’t stay here,” he suddenly said, eyes set on his wife, “We can’t leave her here. I won’t.” 

Max stepped forward trying to get closer to you but Neytiri stood blocking him, “Jake, you can’t just—”

“You’ve done enough.” 

The two scientists’ mouths dropped, and both of their glares widened at the tall Olo’eyktan — a man who day one had never thrown caution to the wind in his life but since becoming a leader had taken on a new role to be deliberate in his actions, think accordingly, and communicate in a way to not piss other people off. It was like that persona was gone from that room for a moment and instead it was an overprotective parent who thought they had all the answers. He was bossy, haywire, and everything that resembled a father.

Somehow his cold tone and his rapid decision weren’t justifiable enough for Max. He had seen the impossible, and as a scientist, he had detested and forced himself to not believe it. Max had seen the impossible in Jake, in the consciousness transfer, in the balance of the world that had managed to change one man's life. He had seen the impossible with the Omatikaya people but at that moment with your life hanging in that very balance, he could only look to science, in the concreteness that was medicine.

“Jake, listen to me, she is sick. This isn’t just another dress-up game where she is going to run off into the forest to become something else. She won’t survive this.” 

“Are you fucking serious?” he snapped, eyes narrowing even further until they resembled golden crescents like the morning sun that crept through their tent every morning, “This has never been a game and you know that. To me, it wasn't and it sure as hell isn't to her. If you saw her out there, the way she is when she is in that body, you would know that. Except that I think a part of you already does, knows how much she wants it, and that scares the hell out of you. Especially since there is nothing else you can do for her, and it sucks. It really does... but do you hear me when I say we can do something? The people can save her.” 

“What like you saved Grace,” Max shot back, the words cruel and unnecessary and he watched as Jake’s face went slack. For a moment the short scientist reveled in the image, “I know it has happened, the unexplainable. Because what you witnessed... what happened to you was the unexplainable, but Jake that's what? A one in a million. You're the exception, we all know that, but she's not you. I don't like the odds, not when I have seen it. Her virus, her illness, and I am deciding to combat it with medicine. I am choosing science’s side.” 

Neytiri felt her teeth bare, sink into her lower lip, fangs glimmering from the white lights of the room. As a growl left her throat, she stepped forward protectively towards her mate, “And your medicine has done nothing. It’s done nothing!” 

At that point with two pointed gazes locked down on him, Max couldn’t help but glance your way knowing that every word they spoke was true. Any worse, you could be slipping away, out of their fingers, by the end of the week. If you hadn’t been getting better with the months of treatment they had been doing, the antibiotic and the fluids, what else could they do to help you? There wasn’t another option, and he knew right then science or not this was your last chance.

Norm looked from you to Jake and within that mutual stare, they shared an understanding, a silent understanding. Stepping forward, his palm fell to Max’s shoulder, “This is her only chance."

"Norm—"

"She’s not going to get better because she hasn't yet and you know that. This is her last chance. And yes, god forbid, Eywa forbid that it doesn’t work, that we somehow lose her... at least it will be on her own terms and in a place, she’d want to spend her last moments.” 

The words everyone had been avoiding were out in the air and it struck a chord, one that left them all in silence and complete denial. Only, because no one expected this. When you had been given your avatar six months prior, no one thought to think this is where you would end up, chained to a bed with the only thing to save you being that body. No one thought either that you would have fallen in love with the forest, the people, and the eldest son of the Olo'eyktan either, but you did. It happened. It all had happened and now it was beginning to unravel in front of them and suddenly they were being faced with a choice.

You were dying and the sky people were coming. Another war was soon to take place and Jake and Neytiri were making plans for the future Olo'eyktan. Neteyam would be Olo'eyktan one day whether you would be there to see it or not. It all was happening and none of them would have thought that when it was, you would be in the middle of a whispered conversation with the Mother herself.

Max wiped his eyes from behind his glasses and sent one last longing look to you. You once had been the little girl who'd sit on his lap for hours staring at a digital image of an avatar's brain with complete awe. Now there you lay, all grown up and possibly about to get the life you had always wanted. Your choice had been made up about the life you wanted as soon as you had entered that avatar body. And your choice would be his choice.

“Just, if you’re going to do it… The consciousness transfer, do it sooner rather than later. If you want her to survive it, you will do it as soon as you can. She's already lost a lot of energy.” 

It was the last thing anyone said and as Jake nodded to Max, reassuringly, his tough-guy act dropped immediately. Almost like they had come to a mutual understanding: one father to another.

From that moment on, there was a continuous movement of people in and out of the room. All bustling as they worked to disconnect your monitors, pull out the IVS, wrap your body up in blankets to keep you warm against the cold air, and secure a mask tightly over your face. Then just like that, you were ready and leaving as if it was always how it was destined to be. You, leaving. Norm and Max each took you in for one last time as Jake and Neytiri exited the lab, both hoping they would never have to be there again.

Jake couldn’t help but stare down at you, so small in his arms, so unlike the warrior he had gotten the privilege to watch the last six months. You had transformed just as he once had, gaining the wings like an Ikran, and you would fly away, not daring to look back. Evident in the lingering glances you sent his son and how you absorbed every part of the forest, you would give anything to be transferred into your other body. Then more so as with each night you spent in the forest, in your avatar body, the longer you would stay awake. Like you were hoping to forever prolong the linking process to that one still moment in time. Now, after all this time, you could have it.

As Jake climbed on his direhorse, he heard the shift in your breath along with seeing the small tremble in your body — the first sign of movement he had seen at all. Glancing down at you again, he found your eyes softly staring up at him, through heavy lids. He glanced at Neytiri then back down at you, taking your tiny cold hand in his own. He stared at his five fingers and compared them to yours as your soft voice filled his ears. 

“Don’t let Neteyam see me like this.” 

“She’s very weak,” Mo’at expressed, honestly as her fingers danced across your closed eyes.

From the moment you were brought back to the village, in your human form, it was like you were finally awake. Finally, seeing the world as more than a recurrent fever dream. It was a world you had only ever witnessed through another pair of eyes and someone else's skin. Somehow the forest had become so much more than a training ground to you over that time. However, you realized then, that no matter how many times you had seen it before, it would never top being able to see it with your own eyes. The ones you had been born with.

It was a dream that had been painted on your soul from the moment you had come onto this planet and as you stared up at the luminescent green foliage while you rode on the back of the direhorse, you felt as if your life was complete. Like Eywa was watching over you, reaching out her arms and promising you that whatever happened you would be okay.

Staring up past the trees to the black-coated sky littered with stars and planets, you felt a new kind of peace wash over you. Your breath had evened out and you blinked slowly, entirely entranced by the skyline scattered with constellations. The constellations that resembled the ivory spots speckled across his nose and his body. That's all you could think about — the ivory-speckled sky and how it reminded you of the glow that would overtake him at night.

Please, Great Mother, protect Neteyam and his ivory-scattered face. 

As soon as you got back, Neytiri distracted the kids, allowing Jake to get you to Mo’at without anyone seeing. Partly to prevent panic from appearing in the village, but mostly to stick to your one and only request. Don’t let Neteyam see me like this. Those six words served as a confirmation to Jake. A confirmation that once again only served the greater suspicion that there was more going on under the surface. Deeper feelings were involved here whether the two of you had admitted it, and Jake wasn't sure how he hadn't seen it before. But maybe he had.

The lingering gazes. The light touches. Neteyam sneaking out of the tent at night, for months. His attitude suddenly improving. He was always cautious around you when Jake was close by as if he was afraid of the Olo'eyktan connecting the dots from the softness he displayed to you or the look in his eyes, which was less than innocent. It all had been there but for months, Jake Sully had been turning a blind eye to it all. Despite his duty as Olo'eyktan to accept the arranged marriage that would be pushed onto his son along with all the other responsibilities, he let the interactions and the feelings play out in plain sight.

Now, he was going to willingly do what any Olo'eyktan would and protect the last wishes of a member of his clan. He was making a split decision based on the six words he never thought you would have openly admitted. That it was and always had been Neteyam for you. How it was the one son of his that had been promised a throne and a chosen future mate, the one son you couldn't have willingly. Somehow it filled him with a sense of deja vu, as if when he saw you he was looking at a mere reflection of the person he used to be. Alongside that, a repeated history. The outsider and the chief's chosen child. Somehow under all of his turning a blind eye, you and Neteyam had not only become Jake and Neytiri but were being torn apart for it.

For a while, Jake stood in the corner of the room, Neytiri appearing after a while closing off the tent from any onlookers. The majority who would have been her own children. She stood next to Jake, her hand comfortingly finding a place on his shoulder.

They had watched as Mo'at closed her eyes and let the feelings of Eywa guide her. She took in many deep breaths as mumbled words escaped her mouth in the form of tongues. Then just as quickly as it had begun, her eyes were reopening, leaving her meeting with Eywa as Jake liked to call it. She glanced at the couple before her and spouted what he could only hear as bullshit. She’s very weak. 

“Well help her goddamn it!” 

“Jake!” Neytiri hissed as the tone of his voice emitted not only a glare on her face but a chip in her tone. 

From outside the tent, four dark statues lingered in the dark, near the side of the healing tent. Light poured out of the bottom bathing Kiri and Lo’ak’s faces in slivers of warm light. They lay on their fronts, chins leaning along their hands as they held their breaths, desperate to unravel what they were looking at. They could only see the outline of their grandmother, the Tsahik’s side from the confined view they had. With Spider and Tuk sitting on the other side of Lo'ak, the eight-year-old hugged her knees to her chest in a state of confusion. When her parents left, she had spent the whole time berating her older siblings with questions about you — were you okay? What had exactly happened? Were you coming back?

All questions with answers none of the older siblings had.

Neteyam crouched on the other side of Kiri, leaning his ear close to the side of the tent, trying to understand the mumblings from inside. His heart had shattered and he felt as if he had been cut open, exposing everything he was feeling to the gaping air. It made his stomach twist at the thought and he was starting to feel sick.

The sight of your avatar collapsing in his arms was still very present in his mind — as well as how his father had avoided him the second he returned forbidding anyone from seeing you, the other you. Your human body and the current body that held everything that made you, you. It was hard to imagine you any other way. For six straight months, he was memorizing every detail of your blue features just in case his golden irises would be deracinated from his face. Now all he could think about was what you really looked like, what you were born to look like.

Lo’ak leaned closer to his sister, voice breaking and coming out in low mumbles, “What did she say?” 

“Shh,” she hushed back, bumping her brother in the side, harsher than she intended too. 

“She’s weak, that’s what Mo’at is saying,” Neteyam spoke up softly, the words acting as needles as they ripped holes into his skin, “She doesn’t know if they can save her.” 

Kiri glanced up at Neteyam and felt her shoulders drop disappointedly as his expression came to light for her. How pain-stricken he was and how utterly shattered his voice sounded as it echoed in her ears. She felt Eywa there at that moment, filling her entire body, as she witnessed firsthand how strongly her brother felt for you. It had blinded him out of nowhere and a pit formed in his stomach at how sudden it all was. Over time, that dread and that fear had drifted off into the wind as if they had rolled off his back while flying through the sky.

Then there was you. How you had become a slight wreck over your feelings for the future Olo'eyktan. She could still feel your own confession lingering in the back of her mind. How shy you had gotten, how ashamed you had been when she had found out you liked Neteyam, possibly loved him.

Somehow under all of the excruciating lectures, stubborn-filled disputes, and contemptuous glares, two souls had found one another, deep within the forest under the phosphorescent green of the trees. 

She blinked and looked away, letting the prospect of the two of you fade away, leaving nothing but an imprint of dust in its wake. They all instead directed their attention back to the tent, ears twitching in unison and tails swishing anxiously as their father’s voice filled the air. 

“She’s dying, don’t you see that? One of our own is dying,” Jake pleaded then, his anger melted away like icicles in the warm temperature and all that was left was a puddle of desperation and fear. “So, please help her. Do the consciousness transfer. Do it, if it means the possibility of saving her life."

As Mo’at glanced down from your shivering human form to the empty blue vessel beside you, she knew what he was asking of her. He was right and it would have to be in Eywa’s hands now. The very hands you had tried to get yourself in weeks ago when you appeared in the doorway of her tent pleading and begging for her to consider. To think about your request, ask Eywa to guide you and herself to an answer. Tsahik, without much consideration or even listening to Eywa's plan or will, denied your request. Even when Jake Sully, Toruk Makto, had once come to her with the same request, and even when she saw so much of him in you, including a strong heart, she denied the request.

When Mo’at looked at you, she saw a young woman. A young woman with all the reasons and desires in the world to ask for this request and to ask for the opportunity to change her life. Your soul's existence depended on the opportunity to live life fully as a Na’vi, and That’s why Tsahik couldn’t accept it. Your whole life.

A young and prestigious life she didn’t want to be cut short not when there was still so much time. She feared that Eywa’s will wouldn’t be what was hoped by the rest of the clan, her family, so she denied you. For fear of taking the light out of your eyes as well as the light out of her grandchildren. 

“She’s weak so we must do it tonight. The more strength she has the better,” she finally spoke looking from Jake to her dutiful daughter, “Alert the village. We need everyone, do you understand? We need all the support we can for this. An hour and then we go.” 

The couple, the clan's leaders, the two everyone looked to in a crisis felt the weight on their shoulders deepen. Anxiety formed, pushing down on their tracheas as it all began to feel too real too fast. But panic couldn't happen. Freaking out couldn't happen. There wasn't enough time for it and there sure as hell wasn't room for it.

Jake took Neytiri’s hand in his and walked towards the entrance of the tent, all strength, and will of his own feelings lost. As they stepped out, the tent's flap falling shut behind them, a rush of air fell from his mouth. Neytiri, able to feel his energy deep within her bones, wrapped her arms around his broad torso. Her chin found a place against his shoulder and they stared forward at the rest of the village, the forest, their home, and everything in between. They listened to one another’s hearts and stood there for a brief moment, letting their breaths linger into one before Neytiri unwrapped herself around him. 

As she did, they both were startled by the sound of rustling as well as a soft groan of a very familiar prominent voice. They shared a look with one another, communicating the same conclusion as they stepped around the tent to where the sound had come from. It wasn't a surprise to find their four children squatted and laying around in the dirt, ears pressed close to the tent. Suddenly all their movements stopped as they felt the shadows looming over them, blocking the moonlight and concealing them in darkness.

All four heads then tilted cautiously and were met by the scariness of their mother, who stood with a hip popped out and arms crossed over her chest. Her stare only hardened further when she found her youngest, no more than eight years old, sitting there, a pained expression on the child's face. Neytiri looked over her shoulder at Jake but he merely shrugged as if he wasn't surprised at all by the sight in front of him. He held his arms to her; a silent signal that he was leaving the situation for her to handle.

Inhaling, her lips parted, ready to scold them not only for eavesdropping on a conversation not meant for their ears but for letting Tuk hear every word, something she could barely process at her age. Before Neytiri could get a word out, she found her youngest staring up at her, large eyes widened with fear and sadness, bottom lip quivering.

Tuk’s eyes filled with tears and slowly began to fall, drenching her innocent face, “Is Y/N going to be okay? What happened to her?” 

The other three older siblings’ bodies stiffened unwillingly, ears dropping back while their own theories and assumptions were formed. But even with their thoughts and concerns, they all found themselves peering up to their mother, who seemed to be all-knowing and often had the right thing to say in moments like this. It was a mother's intuition and they all stared at her, asking for an answer that was far better than any of their own. They all held their breath as they watched the glare melt away completely from her face while she opened her arms welcomingly for her youngest child. 

“Oh, my prrnen (baby),” Neytiri cooed as Tuk reached up to be pulled up into her mother's arms. As her small innocent face met her mother's neck, her tear bubbles collapsed, letting her salty tears fall freely upon Neytiri's skin. “Know this, that whatever happens, Y/N will be okay. She will be at peace one way or another. I don't know what's going to happen, but that is not something for us to worry about right now. Our Great Mother has a plan and whatever comes of it, everything will be okay. Do you understand me, maite (my daughter)?” 

Hands rubbing softly at Tuk’s back, her gaze fell to the rest of her children and their anxious eyes. They looked to her as if a mother could solve the world’s most significant problems and she wished at that moment she could. She wished she could take all of your pain, all of your sickness, all of the limitations your body held away. She wanted more than anything with her children’s eyes boring up at her that she could promise you life to prevent their suffering.

“The ritual is in an hour,” Jake said then, gaining the three older children’s attention as he tried to wrap his head around how he wanted to handle this situation. He couldn’t bear the idea of them being at the consciousness transfer and watching with the possibility that it wouldn't work. He couldn’t watch every hope and every fiber of light in their bodies fade away at the sight of what could be a final send-off. “Whatever you need to do, I suggest you do it now because there is a chance you won't be able to later.” 

“Can we see her?” Kiri asked then, sitting up to hug her knees to her chest, voice pleading, “Please? Can we just sit with her and talk to her. Dad, I can’t go the ritual without having said—” 

“Fine,” he interrupted her, his heart constricting with grief at the sound of his daughter’s broken voice, “Fine, yes, you can see her. But none of you will be at the ritual. Do you read me? I don’t want you attending the transfer.” 

In perfect sync all of their eyes widened in shock, ears pulling back in dejection as their father's command fell straight into their laps. Lo’ak sat up quickly, in complete disbelief, “But—” 

“No, but anything. I don’t want any of you there, do you understand?” 

That edge had returned in his voice and Jake took two seconds each to drill his gaze into his children, trying to make it stick within their minds, so that no matter how many times the thought appeared to go against his words, the remembrance of his stone cold glare would stop them. He couldn't be sure that it would work, especially as he caught the look on Lo'ak's face. It was the same look he gave whenever he was given orders or asked to do something against his own troublesome consciousness. It was passive, him nodding his head as if he was listening though he never took anything serious his father said. It was the same exact look Jake was getting then.

“Do — you — understand?” 

He spoke slower and finally got the response he wanted. All three of his older children nodded their heads while Lo’ak verbally respond with, “Yes, sir.” 

Neteyam could only stare up past Jake, huffing quietly. It was loud enough to catch his father’s attention anyway. Jake narrowed his gaze down at his oldest but the young warrior wouldn't falter. Instead, Neteyam matched him with the same expression.

No gunmetal would warp at that moment as Neteyam felt every inch of anger and frustration ball together. The order for them to stay away during the ceremony left him astonished and pissed off. His father still saw them as children and felt like he had this responsibility to protect them. But other than Tuk, none of them needed his protection. They had grown up and that was something he obviously couldn't accept.

Somehow it only filled Neteyam with more spite because there was nothing left that needed to be protected. Every innocence had been stolen and he couldn’t remember the last time he had been treated like a child, free of any responsibilities. For years he had been viewed and trained like a serviceman, kept on a shelf until he was needed. His whole life he had been ordered around; Go pick up an extra couple of hours of training. Watch over your brother. Learn how to use a gun. Take on extra challenges with other warriors. Heck, marry and mate with a woman of our choosing.

They had every part of him. They had taken every piece of him and he had willingly let them. For years he had been ordered around as if he was incapable of thinking for himself. In reality, they couldn't afford him to think and make decisions for themselves because it would go against what was best for the clan.

Some things never changed though. He stood just outside the healing tent, where the Tsahik was trying to save the only woman he has ever had feelings for, and he was expected to follow commands again. He was supposed to let them put him back on the shelf and wait for further instructions. Your life was hanging in the balance and they were asking him to be absent from the ritual that would decide what would happen. He couldn’t do that.

His hard-set gaze met Jake’s, refusing to back down. He watched then as the Toruk Makto dismissed him and instead sent one more look to each of his children. He nodded in the direction of the healing tent, “Go on.” 

One by one, they all stood silently and began to approach the tent, with dread being the only thing evidently strewn across their faces. Neytiri slowly set Tuk down, wiping what was left of her tears, that motherly smile occupying her face as she watched the rest of her children approach the tent. As Neteyam stepped by them though, the thought of you the only thing guiding him forward, Jake’s eyes found Neytiri’s. She hadn’t seemed to understand what he was trying to say, but she turned to give him her full attention anyway at the obnoxious way he cleared his throat. 

Her ears flickered curiously then as his stare frantically began to flicker back and from their oldest son to her. Lo’ak and Spider had stepped into the tent with Tuk waiting by the doorway, clearly contemplating if she wanted to go inside herself. Neytiri then found herself looking at Neteyam who was getting close to the entrance. She felt the thought kick in at what Jake was referring to or rather what you had asked of him. Him was the key term, but Neytiri felt her brows draw forward on her forehead in exasperation at his clear hesitation. The Toruk Makto had no problem lecturing his sons until their ears bled but being able to break the worst news and offer comfort to them might as well have been foreign, especially in their older years. He was terrified of it and Neytiri found it utterly ridiculous.

As Jake didn’t show any signs of calling out to Neteyam, she huffed out and shook her head at her husband, narrowing her gaze at him. The words very bad were communicated vexingly through her eye contact. She sighed then as she called out to Neteyam, “Maitan (my son)!”

Neteyam’s ears perked up at the sound of his mother’s voice and just as his hand grasped around the tent flap, so close to where you were, he pulled back to face her. She waved him over, and with frustration and confusion, he stepped away from the tent. Kiri, who was just about to enter, noticed the interaction of their mother pulling him aside and decided to wait, in favor of watching the conversation play out instead.

“What?” Neteyam questioned, the sharpness of his tongue not unnoticed.

Neytiri’s initial reaction was to smack him upside the head for it, but she held back knowing the sharpness was nothing but a reflection of how he was feeling. He wasn’t trying to be difficult or disrespectful. He just didn't have the energy or the care anymore to be any other way.

Neytir's gaze softened, the same one she had spared moments ago as she clutched her youngest in her arms. Neteyam noticed it right away, the look she was giving him. He would never admit it, but he knew his mother better than the rest of his siblings, and at the sight of her eyebrows drawing together softly, he felt his stomach drop. The lines between them displayed feelings of stress and disappointment. She wore it across her face — how badly she wished to offer him the moon and the stars. 

As her hand reached for his shoulder, that’s when he figured it out for sure. Why she had stopped him from entering, her shared looks with Jake, the way she was trying to steer him from the tent. It all made sense and a low growl took everyone by surprise as he peered over his shoulder at Kiri and the opening of the tent.

When he looked back at his mother, he felt his fists clench at his sides, “She doesn't want to see me. That's what you are going to tell me, aren't you? You pulled me aside because she told you she doesn't want to see me. ” 

“Yes,” Neytiri admitted slowly. 

A pin dropped and within a beat of time, as if only a second had passed, Neteyam resurfaced but angrier and more annoyed than before. He stepped back out of her grasp, and her hand was left dangling in the air as his tail whipped back and forth aggressively.

“No. Fuck that!"

“Neteyam!” she hissed, taking a hold of his arm and yanking him back despite his best efforts to escape her. He didn’t dare overpower his mother though or do anything that would disrespect her. Instead, he let her hold his arm too tightly, while her glare drilled holes into the side of his head.

“I wish it didn’t have to be this way. I wish more than anything that it didn’t, but who would we be if we denied her wishes.” 

Her wishes. 

She spoke as if you were already dead and he felt himself tense under her words, his entire body becoming rigid. He closed his eyes for a moment as if trying to breathe through the pang in his chest. To calm himself down, he held his breath deep within his lungs for almost a minute before he released it. When he did, he felt the heartbreak creep up within his body until it was past his throat and on the tip of his tongue. Then he broke right in front of her.

“Her wishes? Do you even hear yourself right now, sa’nok (mother)? You're acting as if she has already died and is with Eywa. How can you just... No, damn her wishes because if there is a chance that I could lose her I am not going to stand out here and let her... I can’t just stand here and let her go into that ritual without telling her how I feel.” 

“It was not my choice, ma‘eveng (my child),” she whispered cooly, as Neteyam was starting to appear frantic.

The choice isn’t mine to bear.

He clenched his eyes shut again, suddenly stained with the memory of you standing within the mauve tendrils, beautiful face barring every raw emotion of your soul to him. Tears suspended in your eyes for a second as he felt every possible pain rip open in his chest, a pain so horrible it let his flaws and deceptions take over. He had hurt you right back and he knew just as everyone once would that he was no warrior. No perfect son. No perfect soldier. No man worth bearing the sins of the world. Your words crept back into his mind.

Then I will bear it. 

Neteyam, the way I feel about you is consuming.

“This is fucking bullshit!”

Just as Neytiri was going to comfort her son, try and offer any encouraging words she could, she felt his arm be pulled from her grasp. He was stepping away from her and her motherly gaze that was slowly suffocating him. He stared hard at his father as he passed him, sarcastically thanking him for all of his help in this whole thing, before stalking away in the opposite direction of the healing tent, his family, and you. 

They all watched him go and Kiri found herself stepping away from the tent in favor of going after her older brother. She nodded at her parents reassuringly, “I got it.” 

She took off in his direction, picking up her pace to catch up with him. As Jake and Neytiri watched them go, she huffed over at Jake, crossing her arms over her chest intently. That worried line in between her brows had formed again as her mind began to ramble with questions if what she was doing for her children and her people were right. Neteyam was the one she thought about long and hard, wondering if what they were doing was right. She felt like she had failed him or rather they all had failed him. As no one had ever made it easy on him from the moment he was born. There was not one sole point in time where they considered things from his point of view, his life, his future, or how once he had been full of childhood dreams. Instead, they just deemed them as improbable outcomes.

It was as if Jake could read her mind, all starting from that stressful line on her forehead between her brows. “He can’t be there. He will never forgive himself if he watches her….” 

“And he’ll never forgive us if she somehow dies and we never let him say goodbye.” 

Kiri chased after her brother, letting her parents' voices fade behind her. Her eyes narrowed at him as he walked in front of her or rather stomped in front of her. His braids swung from side to side, his back muscles tense and rigid. She could see every twitch of annoyance and frustration in his form, displayed on his back like any true man would — never demonstrating it out loud or through words but rather through body language.

Picking up her steps, she called out to him but he ignored her as he made it through the village. He was making a move for the forest, but Kiri knew that if he did disappear into the lush greenery, who knew when he would be back. There wasn't time for it.

“Neteyam, stop!” she finally yelled, firmly grabbing onto his elbow and yanking him back. 

He hissed at the way her nails dug into the skin of his forearm and let his feet come to a stop. Staring forward at the forest, his means of escape, a loud sigh fell from his lips. Unable to push the pain off his face, he refused to look at her, and instead tilted his head to the side, his broken gaze falling to the ground.

“What? What do you want?” 

“You can’t just storm off like this,” Kiri admitted, slightly out of breath from chasing after him, “Not right now and not like this. We need to stick together when something like this happens, so you can't just leave. Because believe it or not, everyone looks to you as much as they look to Dad during a crisis. Your presence is important, now more than ever. That, and I don't think you should be alone.” 

Scoffing he shook his head, denying her admission. More so, he wouldn’t stand there and let her give him that same pitying stare his mother couldn’t wipe from her face. “The fact that you would use my future title against me right now, are you serious? Tell, me Kiri other than that the people need me why I should stay. Y/N doesn’t want to see me, so what’s the point?” 

“Do you even hear yourself right now?” Kiri’s hand fell from around him, suddenly feeling angered by his words and his tone as if he was brushing you off like it was the only thing he could do when around other people, “I mean what the hell is wrong with you? You can’t even admit that you have feelings for her, can you? Seriously? Nothing, at all? Neteyam, she could die, she could not survive this transfer and you still can’t fucking say it out loud.” 

His shoulders dropped, her voice cutting through him like a knife cuts through flesh, with resistance but then giving away. The more things she said, the easier it was to get through to him past the bullshit and the fear. Exhaling, he finally turned around to face her, his little sister, and felt his words get caught at the sight of how sad she appeared. Her eyes displayed every form of grief and anger, and it was all pointed straight at him. 

“I can't,” he responded, his confession wearing her tight expression away, “If I say it, it will become real. Everything these past six months will be right there in front of me. Every night spent together, every argument about her training, every reaction, and feeling she brought out of me. Except if I admit my feelings for her, it would also mean that I have to admit that I am losing her. I will be admitting that she is sick and dying, and I can’t accept that Kiri. I can’t..” 

Kiri stared up at her brother, eyes wide and wallowing in unshed tears as every friction and pause in his voice spoke to everything he was saying. He was barring a part of himself to her at that moment which he had never done before. He was looking past the perfection that was expected of him and let his insecurities ring out in the air and while it was killing him to his very core, a part of him felt relief. 

“Kiri, she’s not mine. She never was and I didn't have the thought to even ask. We could never be together so why even say anything to her, but I guess now, it doesn't even fucking matter, does it? All that duty and expectations bullshit means nothing because she is slipping away right in front of us. And now that I realize that, she doesn't even want to fucking see me."

She sighed, one that was brought out from deep within, as she took a hold of his arm again. This time gently almost like if she pressed any harder, he would break. Or he would get scared, sink back into his shell, and close himself off from the rest of the world.

“Neteyam—”

“What is that?” he shouted, pupils dilated and crazed as his eyes became drenched in tears, he wished would never fall. 

“Neteyam, please,” Kiri cried then, gripping his arm harder to get his gold eyes to lock with hers, to get him to calm down as his breathing was erratic pulling and prodding at his chest as if he were trying to self-destruct right before her eyes. “You need to try and understand what she is asking of you.” 

“I won't do this. I have to see her.” 

She shushed him then, his cries falling silent upon his tongue, “Brother, you have never seen her like this, do you understand that? For six months, you have only seen Y/N in her avatar body and as one of us. You have never seen her in this true form, in her human body.” 

“I don’t care about that, Kiri, you know that,” he replied, brows drawing down on his face as he tucked his bottom lip in between his front teeth. 

“Okay, but she’s also sick, very sick, and I can’t imagine that the last time she'd want you to see her would be like this. Not as this weak, shell of a person she doesn’t even recognize as herself anymore,” Kiri explained carefully, her tears starting to fall without her even realizing as she gripped harder onto Neteyam, “It sounds like she knows what could happen, what’s at risk here. It’s not that she doesn’t want to see you. It’s that, she would rather have the last time you saw her be from earlier. She’d be okay with the fact it was in the forest, in your arms, and in her avatar body because it would mean you would remember her that way, at that moment.”

Her words had struck him in the chest harder than any blow he had ever gotten in his entire life. It was worse than when he had collided with one of the floating mountains on his first Ikran ride, or the time when he had gotten the shit beat out of him early on his training days. It was even worse than when Lo’ak had beat the shit out of him hours ago. In fact, it felt as if it was worse than all of those things combined.

She’d be okay with the fact that it was in the forest, in your arms, and in her avatar body.

Neteyam bit down on his lower lip, reopening the wound that Lo’ak had put there earlier as every single word of that one sentence made him recoil. If the last time he saw you, talked to you, was in front of that tree screaming at you as you finally told him how you felt. The way I feel about you is consuming. No, it couldn't be. That would be complete and utter bullshit. He sure as hell wouldn’t stand by and let the last time you saw him be there, under that tree not only rejecting your heart but his own feelings. 

Neteyam had been selfless his whole life until it had come to you and he wasn’t about to return to the person he was before you, refusing to listen to his own feelings and what he wanted. At that moment he was choosing to be selfish, to choose himself and to choose you over some last dying wish. He knew it was wrong, so wrong, but it didn’t stop him from stalking the healing tent for the next half hour, watching as each person came and went. His bottom lip at that point was rebleeding and torn to shreds but he needed something, some sort of distraction from the fears that were starting to take over his body.

There were fifteen minutes until you were going to be transported to the site and another fifteen before the ritual would start. Neteyam watched from afar he as Mo’at walked out of the tent, her hands full and her gaze seemingly distracted. She disappeared far into the village and Neteyam snuck out from around the side of the tent he had been standing for nearly a half hour. Having the darkness to disappear into, he slipped into the tent unnoticed. With no one following him, he close the front lapels of the tent and turned slowly on his heels.

He felt his entire body freeze, hands clenching at his sides while his breathing suddenly sped up. Dim lanterns encased the room, emitting a soft glow and he felt all sanity escape him at the sight of the avatar body that had been in his grasp only two hours before. The only you he had ever known. It looked so cold without your animated expressions, that familiar pinched line in between your eyebrows, or the tiny divots of your dimples that appeared when you smiled. It was you and had been the you he had given himself to completely but at that moment it wasn’t you at all. Its eyes were closed and already having been prepared for the ritual, the body was wrapped up in blankets to be transferred.

His eyes then took in the much smaller form laid a few feet away from it, all bundled up, chest rising and falling with each deep breath that was inhaled. He cautiously walked forward and as the soft glow brushed along his face, he felt as if his body was at a standstill, all air pulled from his lungs.

Completely unmoving, he finally saw you for the first time — the real you and his entire world was shifted on its axis. You were all soft lashes, smooth skin, and glistening full lips. With your eyes fluttered shut, he wondered what color your they were, the opening of your soul. He wanted you to open them. He wanted to see if they matched the ones he had been staring into for six months. Other than that, the slope of your nose was smaller and your eyebrows were different, more prominent, and the markings on your skin were completely dissimilar to the ivory specks he was so used to admiring.

Somehow though, even with an entirely different person in front of him, you were entirely familiar — all of his favorite parts of you were the same, and just as you had looked earlier that night underneath the mauve tree, there in that tent and in that body, you were ethereal. And you were his even not officially, you were. Ma’ Y/N.

Tears once again resurfaced after the countless times he had reeled them back in that day. Slowly, he sunk down onto his knees beside you and listened to the way you breathed, trying to memorize the sound of it for as long as he could. Glancing down to your side, he found his eyes flickering with interest at the sight of your hand, limp across the blanket. Five fingers, smaller than his own, just as your other always had been. Staring down at it, he couldn’t help himself and before he realized it, he was reaching for it. Engulfing your smaller one in his, he watched as it slipped into his with ease as if it was meant to be there. He felt a type of warmth fill his chest then as your hand twitched in his. 

Tilting his head, he looked back up to your face and found himself taken aback at the sight of two small doe-eyes peering up at him. They were so elegant and nothing like he had expected but somehow he would commit them to his memory then and there. They scanned over his face like it was the first time you’d ever seen him and he felt his heart rate speed up when they had narrowed slightly. Your brows knitted together to bring back that pinched look he had just been reminiscing about seconds before.

The sight of you staring at him felt almost scrutinizing and based on that furrow in your brow and the slight frown that occupied your glistening and completely temptatious lips, this was without a doubt you. He knew then that it didn’t matter which body you were in, which form whether human or avatar, it would always feel like this. With you, he would always feel this. 

“Hm, so this is you. Well it's nice to finally meet you, Y/N Y/L/N, all of you," he said suddenly, voice low and so soft it comforted you in more ways than one.

A few moments ago when you had felt a sudden pressure on your hand and the warmth of calloused skin, you couldn’t help but stir from the sleep that had suddenly overtaken you. You didn’t know who to expect when you opened your eyes, but it definitely wasn’t Neteyam. You never thought it could be but as you looked up and adjusted to the light, sure enough, it was.

He was there, staring down at you just as clearly as he had been in the forest among the mauve tendrils of the Tree of Souls. At first, you couldn’t deny how the feeling of his hand wrapped around yours resembled a hug and all the consolation in the world you needed. However, despite the affectionate look about him you couldn’t help but wonder what he was doing there. How he could have been there when you deliberately had said he wasn't allowed to be. You didn’t want him to see you like this and definitely didn't ask for him to come and see all your insecurities looming over you just before the consciousness transfer.

That was when the annoyance set in, evidently by the furrowing together of your eyebrows and the downward curve of your lips. You stared up at him, not knowing if you even had it in you to speak to him. He chuckled out, hand squeezing yours, feeling as if you had captivated him completely at that moment.

“Look, I can tell by the way you're staring at me right now, that you're angry I'm here."

Your lips parted as if you were going to reply, and you watched as Neteyam leaned closer as if he needed to hear your voice. The reassurance that it was still you in front of him, the same person. But as you inhaled, he could feel the way you were struggling to even do that, breath.

"Nete— "

His hand squeezed yours again, reassuringly, his unshed tears were so clear to you then, like uncut glass in the soft lighting from the lanterns. “No, don't. Don't say anything. You have already said everything you needed to. You had your chance, now it's my turn. It’s my turn to talk.” 

With his eyes earnestly staring down into yours, you exhaled the breath you were holding and let your chest relax, parted lips closing with ease. You nodded then, letting the pinched look leave your face as if you were alleviating his anxiety with it. It was his turn then to breathe, his words jumbled across his tongue, adding weight to his mouth as he couldn’t dare look away from you. Finally, as you offered him an encouraging smile, he felt all of that weight be lifted off. 

“Look, I know you didn’t want me here not like this and especially not now, but I couldn’t… I couldn’t leave things the way they were. I wouldn’t do that to us, Y/N, because you deserve more than that,” he said, stumbling slightly while completely worried that everything was coming out wrong. But based on how it felt so right in his chest and the tears gathering in your eyes, he knew it was more than enough. "I don't know what's going to happen but I do know that you deserve more finality than that because you're everything. How you make me feel is everything and I just needed you to know that.”

His eyes were soft, looking at you as if it really were true, that you were everything. That you were the entire world, his entire world. Fully in that tiny spindle of time, it was like he was finally unveiling his entire self to you — every piece, sliver, and makeup of who he was was reflected in his eyes. No more walls, no more guarding or holding it all inside. There at that moment, it was the real Neteyam Te Suli Tsyeyk’itan staring back at you. 

Curling your lips into a small smile, not enough to show your teeth, you could taste the tears that were slipping down from the inner corners of your eyes, finding a place within your smile line. With batted breath, you watched his eyes trace them to only find yours again. Relief filled him at that moment at the sight of them streaming down your face because they weren’t a sign of heartache, grief, or mortification of the situation. Most importantly they weren’t a reflection of fear or doubt about what was to come — it was as if you were completely content in your point in life right there with his hand wrapped around yours. No, what was inevitably laced within those pretty tears of yours was a complete abundance of love.

Neteyam felt as if that look had reached past his chest, taken the pieces of his heart graciously and purposefully, took them, and then, with the warmest touch, put them back together again. It was like Eywa’s plan for him wasn’t to become his father’s soldier or to save the Omatikaya from the invading enemies. His will, his purpose was to be here with you, like this. 

Leaning forward, you felt his palm connect with the side of your face, cupping your cheek like he had wanted to do so many times before. His thumb brushed along the glass of the oxygen mask and you couldn’t help but close your eyes and release more tears. Reaching up, your small hand circled around his wrist and held it there, able to feel his pulse under your fingertips. His eyes flickered to the touch before they found yours again and he suddenly couldn’t help himself any longer, not when he was finally able to see everything so clearly. 

He cleared his throat, voice overcome by emotions as a single tear of his own slipped from the corner of his eye and down into his upper lip. It was the first tear he can even remember touching his cheek in years — a tear that had and always been promised for you.

“I see you.” 

Your eyes widened slightly in surprise while the breath you had taken in felt like it had gotten lodged in your throat. More tears escaped from yours but your smile didn’t falter, not for one second, and you knew if that was the last thing you ever heard, you’d be happy. If it happened right there in his arms you could be okay with that because his words had somehow sanctified your soul. Sounding different, sounding so much more than when he had said it earlier that morning willed every bad thing away. In fact, it was everything, he was everything. 

You squeezed his wrist in your hand as you stared up at him, eyes gleaming like it was the first and last time they ever would, “I see you.” 

It was iridescent, the only way to utterly describe the sight. Mauve tendrils of neon light bathing skin in light as the forest's phosphorescent green pulsed beneath the people's bodies and feet. Pulsing to the heartbeat of their Great Mother. Pulsing in sync with their swaying bodies and stifled groans. It all reached deeply within their bones; her and her power. They cried to her, prayers and pleas kissing their tongues as the bioluminescence of the ground was prominent where their queues were connected.

Before Mo’at within the tendrils and the night sky, the atokirina was coated in white and floated in the air above in swarms. Thereupon the pulsing ground of the tree with bulging roots, two bodies lay wrapped within the confines of Eywa. The neon green phosphorescence rectifying as the Mother accepted the two bodies on her beloved soil. Evidently how the small fingerlike tresses of the ground lifted and wrapped around each body, grounding them completely. The same tresses that connected each person there to the entity of Eywa. 

“The Great Mother may choose to save all that she is in this body,” Mo’at spoke, watching the tresses grow across the avatar’s body eventually pulling the queue further into the ground creating a direct neural link to the back of your human neck. 

Eyes fluttered to a close, and you were finally relaxed, instead listening to the sound of your slowing heart. Norm stood in his avatar form near your human body with Neytiri as Jake sat on the other side next to the form they all hoped you would wake up in. His fingers brushed the strays hair out of its face and glanced over at your human body, taking note of the gentle rise and fall of your chest. He shared a look with Neytiri, a shared look of worry as both of Mo’at’s earlier words hung in their heads. She is very weak. It only brought flashbacks of Grace and filled him with the worst dread. That feeling was only exemplified when the ritual began. 

Everyone bathed in the green light, connected arms, all being interlinked as one with Eywa were able to feel her as well as each other. They slowly listened to Mo’at’s words chanting out in the air and repeated them in synchronism back at her, eyes closed focusing on the feeling channeling within one another.

“Ting mikyun ayoheru rutxe, ma Nawma Sa’nok (Hear us please, Great Mother).” 

Mo’at raised her arms high into the air, “Srung si poeru, ma Ewya (Eywa, help her).” 

“Pori tireati, munge mì nga (Take this spirit into you),” the crowd chanted back rolling their necks and their shoulders as one back and forth. 

No matter how many times Norm and Jake had witnessed the ritual, it still left them too stunned to speak; the overwhelming sensation of the voices in unison, the connection of the neurons through the ground, and the overriding presence of Eywa. It all was so much to process even more so while trying to pray to Eywa herself. To ask for forgiveness, for mercy, for her to return you even when you were weak and sick. Ask and beg that she give this one thing to all of those that loved you.

The phosphorescent green reflected back in his eyes as he glanced down from you to your human body now completely covered by tresses leaving barely any sliver of real skin showing. Mystified he watched as the atokirinas floated down from the sky and with the lightest touch surrounded your avatar body — the purest souls watching over you and serving as a positive sign of what he wished to believe.

Finally after what felt like hours of chanting and praying, and looking into the sky for Eywa, Jake felt his attention shoot up to Mo’at. He watched as she spun in circles, arms flailing in the air, eyes rolled to the back of her head, repeating the Great Mother’s name in constant tongues. She could feel her and she could hear her. He was focused then as Mo’at’s voice grew silent out of nowhere like a switch had been flipped. Her eyes returned to normal, her arms dropped to her sides, and her voice fell quiet.

Glancing down at the two bodies before her, she raised her hand to the rest of the people, her voice loud and commanding, “Lu hasey! (It is finished).”

The crowd became silent and all as one found themselves holding their breaths as Mo’at bent down examining your human body closely, her hands raised over your face. Jake held his too as Neytiri stepped forward, hands dropping to the mask around your face. With the uttermost delicacy, she reached forward and pulled it up and off, the sound from releasing the compaction was a gust of air. She laid it down on the ground next to your body as her eyes swept across your beautiful young face, relaxed, gone of any pain.

Her large hand cupped your face; like a mother, she leaned down and connected her soft lips to your forehead, right above your eyebrow. A maternal comfort you had never known or experienced, something Jake had mentioned often to her over the last half year. She let her lips linger a little longer, channeling all of her affection and devotion for you, offering it to Eywa. 

Leaning back her eyes opened again and her hand left your face with one final touch. She looked up to meet her husband's eyes and Jake felt the anxiety worsen in his stomach as she offered him an ensuring nod. He took a deep breath and looked down at the young avatar before him. He leaned over it, tracing every point of its face with his eyes, her ivory-kissed skin, and long eyelashes.

It was the same face of the young woman Jake had had the pleasure of knowing over the last six months. It was the young woman, he felt had become a part of his family. The face of the woman who had captured the attention of his children and left them astounded after seven years of knowing you. He looked down and saw the face of the woman who had managed to get his eldest son to fall in love. It was the face of you, the young girl who had been entirely and always enraptured by this planet and this world — a woman who was always meant to become a part of the Na’vi. 

His fingertips ghosted over your cheeks, the lightest of touches as the atokirinas could be seen all around you. Waiting and waiting, he felt his breath and hope leave him all at once as seconds passed and then a minute. He felt the time frame leaving, falling to a close, and his heart sunk into his stomach. Glancing up at Mo’at expectantly, disappointed, she urged him back down to you with a simple nod, asking him to wait a second longer.

Live or die?

One of us? Or one of them?

Letting his head tilt back down to you, Jake held his breath, his pointer finger brushing against the skin right below your eyebrow, delicately. His gaze zoned in on yours so seriously, he felt his throat well up waiting, begging Eywa. Just as his pinky pressed along your skin, the pair of eyes popped open, coating his sight in yellow and gold, flickered with specks of the lightest green he had ever seen.

one of us taglist is not working the best right now and I have over the limit of people asking to be tagged (it says it's fifty) so, for now, I am just not going to have a taglist because I can't tag everyone and it's taking a lot of work to figure out.

[lotusbxtch]

The Best Ride in the Galaxy (one-shot)

Pairing: Poe Dameron x f!Reader

Summary: You have a thing for Poe's flight suit. He decides to be a cocky asshole about it. Sexy shenanigans ensue. Word count: 2k

Warnings: Explicit 18+, MDNI! Mostly porn with a little plot // Established relationship, thigh riding/dry humping, vaginal fingering, swearing, name calling, use of pet names (English and Spanish), dom!Poe, brief light violence (slap to the face), Poe uses a Spanish pet name (bebita) which is probably not canon but idc it's hot, no physical description of reader besides being AFAB and being taller standing than a sitting Poe, Poe makes a corny joke, Poe being a cocky smug asshole comes with its own warning, no use of y/n

a/n: This picture of Oscar & his thick-ass thighs, and @for-a-longlongtime mentioning how Poe-coded it was, inspired this fic in its entirety. A little over 24 hours later and here it is! This is my very first posted fic, so please show it some love, send it to someone who might enjoy it, and feel free to give (constructive) feedback if you wish! If I missed any warning tags, please let me know and I'll add them in. Big big thanks to @for-a-longlongtime for beta-reading and cheering me on, it means the world to me.

You run outside as soon as you hear the X-wings land, your heart in your throat. 

It’s been 7 days, but when he left, Poe promised you it wouldn’t take more than 4 for his small band of rebel fighters to complete the covert mission. Of course he insisted on going with them; he’d been stir-crazy as of late, the endless strategy meetings and arguments amongst leadership boring him to tears. He jumped at the chance to get back into the pilot’s seat. You paced restlessly those last 3 days, imagining the absolute worst had happened to him, with no way of knowing if he was even alive.

So when you rushed out to the tarmac and spotted him climbing out of his X-wing, immense relief flooded your body, followed quickly by a potent swirl of both anger and anxiety. He spotted you, his eyes lighting up, jogging towards you with that brilliant smile.

“Hey good-lookin’,” he crooned as he approached, “didn’t miss me too much, did you?”

What he didn’t expect was for you to slap him straight across his face.

You surprised the both of you - Poe was staring back at you, open-mouthed and silent, a rare occurrence; you were staring at him, anger flashing in your eyes, your palm stinging slightly from the impact.

“Baby, I know you weren’t keen on me leaving,” Poe stammered, “but this seems a tad bit–”

“I THOUGHT YOU WERE FUCKING DEAD, YOU ASSHOLE!” you snapped at him, loudly enough for the people around you to look around for the source of the outburst. “You told me four days, Poe, and it’s now DAY FUCKING SEVEN.” You turned and started storming back to your pod, Poe on your heels.

“Bebita, I told you it was a small team,” Poe tried to explain while keeping up with you. “We hit some hiccups in the plan and had to hide out a bit longer than we thought. If I’d tried to contact you, it would have given away our position. You know how these missions go.”

You angrily punched in the access code to the door of your pod. “Yes, I know, which is exactly why as co-general you’re not supposed to be out in the field putting yourself in harm’s way.” The metal door slid open, and you walked forward, not even looking back at him. “I don’t care if you got bored playing politics, that doesn’t mean you get to go rogue and get back in the cockpit.” Slamming your hand on the button to slide the pod door closed, you finally turned to face Poe since slapping him. You let out a shaky breath as your rage subsided. Your stomach was morphing into a simmering pool of nerves and regret. 

“Look,” Poe said, “I just… getting cooped up on base listening to those talking heads was making me crazy. I miss flying and I saw the opportunity and took it.” You knew what he said was true, but it didn’t make it any easier on you. Taking a moment to compose yourself, you scanned his body for signs of injury, until you realized… he was wearing his flight suit.

Fuck. That damn flight suit always did things to you. Obviously he had to wear it for functionality’s sake, but god, it was almost like he was made to look good in them. His shoulders looked so strong and broad, and the unisex, utilitarian cut of the orange suit somehow did nothing to hide the curve of his ample, round ass, one of your favorite features of his. You felt your mouth water as you drank the sight of him in, arousal slowly kindling in your belly.

That suit was your weakness, and the cocky smile slowly dawning on his face let you know he knew, too.

“I mean,” Poe smirked,  “at least you get to see me in your favorite outfit of mine.” Walking slowly away from you to give you a clear view of his rear, he turned and sunk into the chair in your room. You followed, magnetically drawn to him while simultaneously being flustered that he caught onto your ogling. You crossed your arms and put on your best annoyed face.

“I’m sorry for slapping you, but I’m not sorry for being mad,” you said, pursing your lips and looking away. “And trying to seduce me with your stupid uniform isn’t working.”

It was, in fact, working too well. Your breathing got shallower as you tried to ignore the gentle heat filling your body from your center outwards. Poe’s smirk deepened.

“It’s a good thing you’re not a covert operative because you are the worst at lying,” he said, grabbing your thighs and coaxing you closer to him. You acquiesced, trying and failing to look irritated, the desire plain as day on your face. Poe ran his hands slowly up and down your legs from your hips to your calves. Sliding his palms back and around your ass, he squeezed and your breath hitched. You looked down and those liquid brown eyes were staring up at you, twinkling with mischief. “I know you better than that, sweet thing,” Poe teased. “You absolutely cannot pretend that me wearing this suit doesn’t make you cream your panties.”

You fought to control your traitorous body, breathing slowly through your nose as Poe lifted the hem of your shirt and planted soft kisses on your belly, right above your pants. “Fuck you, you cocky asshole,” you tried to spit viciously, but it came out sounding slightly strangled instead. This Maker-forsaken stupid man and his stupid bubble butt and this stupid suit, you thought, your fingers weaving into the curls on his head. 

Poe’s smile only turned even more predatory, like a cat playing with a mouse. “Oh, I would, baby” he whispered, nipping your torso lightly, “but I haven’t showered in days. How about this instead…”

Suddenly Poe grabbed your hips, pulling you down into his lap and forcing your knees to buckle, your legs on either side of his thick thigh. His right arm wound around your lower back, holding you in place while his left hand snaked up your neck and into your hair. He pulled you in for a slow, soft kiss, which snapped the final tether preventing you from melting for him like he knew you wanted to. You surged forward, kissing him deeply, licking into his mouth and tasting the minty aftertaste of the gum he always chews while piloting. He groans, biting your lower lip, then sliding his tongue along yours. This draws your first moans out from somewhere deep in your chest, and his eyes quickly darken when you begin grinding on his thigh.

“Oh, you like that,” Poe crooned, lips turning up into a smirk. “So fucking eager for me. So desperate to cum.”

“Fuck you, Maker-damn it,” you pant, burying your face into his neck, the smell of sweat, jet fuel, and him invading your senses. “This stupid suit is going to be the death of me.”

Poe smiles wickedly. “Why don’t you take a ride on the best pilot in the galaxy before you die, then, honey?” he purrs into your ear. You roll your eyes at his cheesy line until you feel him flex the thigh you’re straddling, creating the most delicious friction against your clothed core. You let out a breathy moan and clench your own thighs around his, starting to rock your clit against his ridge of muscle through your clothes. Slick starts dripping out of you with each roll of your hips against him. Poe moves your arms to brace on his shoulders, then slides both of his hands onto your hips to help you ride him.

The pleasure in your core starts to ratchet up, and you grind yourself harder into Poe’s thigh, throwing your head back with a moan. Poe leans to your ear, kissing and lightly licking just behind and below your earlobe, that spot he knows drives you wild. “That’s it, baby, ride it out,” he whispers into your ear. “Use all that frustration to make yourself cum on my leg.” You mewl, circling your hips and chasing your high. Your pussy contracts around nothing, and suddenly all you can think about is how much better it would feel if Poe was inside of you.

“Poe,” you whine, “I need more.” Your slick is soaking through your underwear, the smell of your arousal filling Poe’s senses. He groans, his cock painfully hard in his flight suit.

“What do you need, bebita?” he says, kissing your forehead sweetly while gripping your hips like a vice, a contrast that has you moaning wordlessly. “Tell me, and I’ll give it to you.”

“I need you,” you beg, “I need you inside of me, I need you to fuck me, please.” You can feel your clit throbbing, almost painfully. Poe moans into your neck. “Baby, I told you, you do not want me to unzip this suit,” he chuckles. “But I think I can still help. Lean back a little.” You comply, and watch with glazed eyes as Poe stares right back at you, slipping his middle and ring fingers into his mouth to get them wet. A shudder rips through your body when he slips both digits past the waistband of your pants and into your underwear. He groans loudly when he feels your slick folds.

“Fuuuuck me, baby, you’re absolutely drenched,” he breaths out. “Is this all for this dumb orange jumpsuit I’m wearing?” That cocky smirk reappears as he laughs at his own joke.

Letting out an annoyed breath, you huff, “it’s for you, idiot. You fucking drive me crazy. You’re the only one that’s ever gotten me this wet. Now fill me up before I lose my ever-loving mind.” 

Poe lets out another chuckle. “Yes, ma’am,” he quips, and then quickly slides the length of his fingers into your cunt, forcing a moan from your lungs involuntarily. He rocks you forward again so that you’re sitting directly on his fingers, with his palm cradling your pussy. “Fuck yourself on my fingers,” he commands. “Take what you need from me.”

You do exactly that, rising and falling on his thigh, swirling your hips over his soaked digits, your clit rubbing against the meat of his palm deliciously. He adds another finger, stretching you out and making you want to scream. Your hips speed up as you desperately chase your high. The wet squelching and slapping sounds of your pussy on Poe’s hand echo in the room. Poe’s panting fills your ears and your wanton moans fill his. You invade his senses in every way possible, and he can feel his dick pulse with every thrust of your hips against his thigh.

Suddenly, you start feeling the knot in your core tighten as you rocket ever-closer to your orgasm. Poe moans as he feels you clench. “Fuck, that’s it, honey, I can feel you getting close,” he whispers. “Give it to me.” His hips start lifting up, grinding, pressing his length into you as much as he can.

“Oh Maker, Poe, oh fuck,” you cry as your walls tighten. “You want me to fucking cum for you?”

“Fuuuuuuck yes baby, that’s all I want,” Poe pants. “Fucking cum all over my fingers, soak my hand, honey.”

The filth pouring out of his mouth finally snaps the knot in your stomach, and you nearly scream in ecstasy as your release shatters and blooms through your body. Poe moans your name as a rush of your slick coats his hand, and you feel him bite your shoulder as his body tenses. Sated, you slump against him, his hand still pinned under your body, both of you sticky with sweat and panting for breath. Poe uses his free hand to softly cup the side of your face, pressing kisses slowly and gently across your cheeks and nose.

You sigh as he carefully extracts his hand. Just as you peer down at him, he closes his eyes and slips his fingers into his mouth, sucking every bit of your essence off. You shudder in pleasure as you watch him. He locks eyes with you, and you lean in to kiss him, tasting yourself on his lips.

“Feeling better?” Poe asks, the warm molten brown of his eyes having returned. You sigh and giggle a little. “Yes, thank you,” you murmur quietly, “but I wish I could have made you cum too.” 

Suddenly Poe looks sheepish, something that’s a rare expression for him.

“Well, uh…” he starts, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck and averting his eyes. You pause, perplexed. He glances back at you, then down at the floor, and then back at you again. Poe clears his throat before he finally speaks.

 “I… actually did…”

You freeze silently, and then erupt into laughter. “Poe Dameron!” you screech. “The ‘best pilot in the galaxy’, commander of the Starfighter Corps, co-general of the entire fucking Resistance, fucking JIZZED in his pants like a teenager???” You start tittering uncontrollably, much to Poe’s embarrassment. “Shut the fuck up, idiot,” he grouses, which only makes you cackle even louder. He sighs, annoyed but begrudgingly satisfied.

“At least this suit needs to be washed anyway,” he mutters, mostly to himself, and you laugh so hard you start crying.

Tag list (it's here y'all!): @for-a-longlongtime @nerdieforpedro @lu62 @purelyoscar @clemdango04 @survivingandenduring @reggiesfilthylittlesecret @beezusvreeland @alltheglitterandtheroar @campingwiththecharmings @qveerthe0ry @agentjackdaniels @dizthemonster @beezusvreeland @queerponcho and anyone else who was interested!

EDIT:

Oh, you were looking for a part 2 to this one-shot? Well it’s your lucky day — Poe was being a total menace, so indeed there is now a part 2!

[suuuupernovaaa]

tsngawpay

tsngawpay [ˈt͡sŋaw.paj] n. tears

Anonymous Request: Can I request an Aonung fic where the reader is a Sully and Aonung teases her like he does the rest of them (despite finding her cute) but she's really sweet and innocent and has the biggest puppy dog eyes so when he says anything mean she immediately looks like a kicked puppy and he ends up backtracking until finally he just gives up being mean because he may be a jerk but he's not a monster. (He even apologizes to kiri because he saw how hurt reader looked at his behavior) And somewhere in there he realizes he has feelings for her and has to man up and confess before a better man than him swoops in and steals her away?

+

Request from @jakesully-sbabygirl: Can we have Aonung with the trope "she fell first but he fell harder"?

"He asked," says the small, annoying man with the tight curls on his head, "if you are a freak?"

Kiri's face falls, and so does my heart. I am far enough away that the men picking on my sister haven't noticed me, but close enough to hear their conversation.

Kiri shakes her head and indignantly replies, "No."

I see Lo'ak approaching, so I jump up before things can escalate.

"Hey!" I holler, and all eyes snap to me. "Leave her alone. You're being mean."

One of the boys reaches out for Kiri's tail, and she pulls it away with a yelp.

"Look, it's the other freak," the first boy says, and I try to stop my lip from quivering, but I'm not entirely successful.

It's hard enough to be away from home, adjusting to an entirely new way of life, without being bullied. It's disappointing to see Aonung here, among these bullies, almost leading them. The first day we arrived on the beach, I'd found him to be so visually striking, with such a lovely smile... to find out he's a jerk has been a real disappointment.

Something about him still draws my eye, though. And now, he's staring back at me, his eyes narrowed and his lips pursed.

"Leave my sisters alone!" Lo'ak says, finally arriving, and Aonung raises his hands in a gesture of surrender.

"You're right," Aonung says after a long, tense pause. "We're going."

He turns on his heel, and his lackies follow him with deeply confused looks on their faces.

I reach out for Kiri's hand, and she takes it, staring at me with concern. Kiri's strength is her connection with Eywa, Lo'ak's is his boldness, Neteyam's is his fierceness in battle, and mine is crying.

Everything makes me cry. My mother says when I was born, I cried for a month straight, and have basically been crying once a day since.

I wish I was bold like Lo'ak, or strong like Neteyam, or even carefree like Tuk, but I am none of those things. I am 'sensitive', and it makes every day harder than it needs to be.

"Are you okay, Y/N?" Lo'ak asks, grabbing my arm. "That was weird, wasn't it?"

"What?" I ask.

"That they just left. Aonung looked so weird."

I shrug. "I don't care how that jerk looked," I reply, but of course, I do care. I care about everything, deeply, and I'm on the verge of tears now.

"Come, sister, lets swim," Kiri says, smiling at me, and I nod and follow along, saved from tears for now.

--

What is it about the oldest Sully sister? Something about the look on her face made Aonung feel... something.

Shame? Guilt? Lust?

Maybe all three.

All he knows is, it wasn't funny anymore, when it looked like she was going to cry. It caused some kind of strange, visceral reaction in him, the thought of her crying. He would have done anything to stop it.

What is this feeling?

--

"He called you a freak?" my father says in that cold, calm tone that means he is really, really angry. It's later that same evening, and all seven of us sit in our mauri pod, eating dinner after a long day of learning.

"Don't, Lo'ak!" I hiss. "They stopped when I asked them to. They're just dumb boys."

Dad sits back, chewing his food and scowling. "You tell me if they pull that again, Y/N, you got it?"

Mom elbows him for using a harsh tone with me, and I roll my eyes.

"It was weird, the way they just... walked away," Kiri adds, passing me some fruit. "Why do you think they did that?"

"Aonung thinks Y/N is cute," Neteyam says with his mouth full, and I gasp.

"Of course he doesn't. He just didn't want you to come and kick his ass."

"Hey," Dad warns, but there's a hint of a smile on his face. He and mom share a glance and a grin, and I look back to Neteyam.

"Aonung is a jerk. I don't know how he and Tsireya could be related."

Neteyam shrugs, but he's smiling too, and I'd like to slap the smile off his face, but I know better than to start a fight with my older brother. He'd win every time.

Later that night, though, the idea of Aonung thinking I'm cute crosses my mind again. As much as I'd like to, I just can't hate the idea.

--

Kiri, Lo'ak and I spend most of the next day with Tsireya and Aonung, practicing the finger talk and learning all we can from them about how to be active members of the clan, and pull our weight.

Tsireya is a quiet, confident teacher, and we've learned so much from her. Especially Lo'ak, who is hopelessly in love with her.

Eventually, Tsireya and Lo'ak swim away to be in a world all their own and as usual, Kiri is nowhere to be found. This leaves Aonung and I perched on a rock alone together, and the tension is palpable.

I can't decide if I want to leave and never speak to him again, or stay with him all day.

There's no denying, I still find him very handsome, but I'm so turned off by his behavior, the way he's treated my family.

"I'm sorry," he says, interrupting my thoughts, "about yesterday."

I raise an eyebrow at him, surprised by what seems to be a very genuine apology. "You are?"

"Yeah. You looked... really hurt. I'm sorry."

"Why would it bother you if you hurt a freak?"

He reaches out, taking my hand into his, and the differences are obvious. Not just the coloring, or the wideness of his hand, or how his large hand engulfs mine, but the biggest difference of all: he has four fingers, and I have five.

"We have grown up hearing about the evil of the sky people, and what they could do to us."

I flex my fingers, but he doesn't let my hand go. "I am Na'vi, as is my mother and my father. I can't help how many fingers I have."

With his free hand, he reaches up, touching the hair above my eyes, which Na'vi don't have. Something about his hand on my face sends chills up my spine.

"I know. I am sorry, truly." He removes his hand from my face, and places it over his heart.

Though everything is screaming at me not to, I believe him, and we smile at each other.

--

Things are different, from that day forward. Though Aonung is still a little arrogant and teases at times, he's never mean. There is no more name calling, or fighting, and things almost feel harmonious.

This is another side of Aonung, and it's hard to reconcile with the jerk he showed himself to be before. He's patient and kind, and he laughs and smiles. I see the man I thought he was that first day on the beach.

The crush I had on him at first, that faded away, has blossomed again.

The day the Tulkun return, we all rush to the water to find them, and as I call for an Ilu outside our pod, Aonung charges up on his ilu, and extends a hand to me.

Without hesitation, swept up in the excitement all around us, I jump on and wrap my arms around his waist. We make a quick turn and dive under water, and I hold on tight. Aonung reaches back as we charge forward, gripping my thigh to keep me from falling off.

The tulkun are the most beautiful sight I've ever seen. Giant, beautiful creatures decorated in the same tattoos that the Metkayina wear. They're diving, turning, and everyone is absolutely overwhelmed with joy.

We surface, and Aonung pats my thigh and points forward, to a specific beast.

"My brother," he says. "I want you to meet him."

I feel such joy and honor in my heart, to be introduced to Aonung's tulkun brother, and I try not to burst into tears on the spot. Instead, I just nod, and we weave forward through the Metkayina reuniting with their brothers and sisters, until we reach Aonung's tulkun.

He tells me his name, how they met, what they like to do together. He shows me his tattoos, and we sit on his giant fin together. It's absolutely astonishing, to be in the presence of a Tulkun. I understand why they are so important to these people.

"This is Y/N," Aonung tells his brother. "She is special to me."

I whip my head around to stare at Aonung. "I am?"

There is a grin on his face, ear to ear. "Very special. I care about you a lot, Y/N."

I furrow my brow and shake my head. "No, Aonung. I'm just... I'm just ridiculous."

He throws his head back laughing, as if he wants to prove my point. "How are you ridiculous?"

"I'm not special! I'm not brave like Lo'ak, or fierce like Neteyam, or smart like Kiri. I'm just..."

"Sensitive," Aonung replies with a shrug. "You're sensitive. You cry a lot. You feel things more deeply than anyone I've ever met. Do you think this is a bad thing?"

I feel the tears in my eyes now, and turn away from Aonung, staring his brother tulkun in the eye as we float gently on his fin.

"Yes," I whisper.

Aonung's arm is around my shoulders, and he reaches out, using two fingers on my chin, turning my face towards him.

"It is not a weakness, to feel deeply. It makes you kind and caring, two areas that I am told I'm severely lacking in. It makes you fine match for me. I've never met anyone like you. I didn't realize it at first, but every day that I spend with you, I care more deeply for you. I See you, Y/N."

There is no holding the tears back now, and I bury my face into the crook of Aonung's neck, crying freely. His tulkun rocks us gently up and down, almost as if to soothe me.

When I'm finally calmed down enough to look up, I meet Aonung's eyes. "I See you, Aonung."

And I do. He's not mean, or unfeeling, or a jerk; he's as soft as I am, under as much pressure as I am, and not sure how to express it.

As beautiful as he is outside, he's even more so inside. I feel elated, joyful, to be given the chance to be with Aonung.

"You know," I say, "we have to tell my dad. If we're going to..."

"I'm going to court you," Aonung says, matter of factly. "I'll tell him. Should we go now?" He makes to hop off the tulkun and I laugh, grabbing his shoulders and pulling him back to me.

"No, lets leave that to another day."

Unexpectedly, he wraps his arms around me, pulling me in for a tight hug, and pressing his lips to the top of my head.

Over Aonung's shoulder, I spot my parents, riding an Ilu together through the happy crowd. My mother lifts her arm, pointing to me, and father turns his head.

His jaw drops.

Another day seems to be today.

[torukmaktoskxawng]

'anla - part seven

Series Masterlist Summary: The next generation is getting ready to complete their Iknimaya. Ao'nung and Y/n aren't exactly hiding, but people are finally noticing. Pairing: Ao'nung/Fem!Na'vi!Sully Reader Warnings: Mature language, overprotective parent, heated arguments, heated gazes (in a sexy way), fluff, coming of age, mentions of mating, mentions of drowning and death, etc posted on ao3 Word Count: 8k+ Tag: #'anla ao'nung fic Na'vi Words: Marui - house/pod, ilu - plesiosaur like animal, tulkun - whale like animal, skxawng - moron, akula - shark like animal, olo'eyktan - clan leader, ma'yawntu - my love, paskalin - honey, syulang - flower, tìyawn - love, tsahik - spiritual leader, tswin/kuru - queue braid, tsakarem - tsahik in training, tsurak - skimwing, ikran - mountain banshee, tsaheylu - the bond, swoa - intoxicating beverage, oel ngati kameie - I See you, ma'yawntutsyìp - my darling, nantang - viperwolf, ma'ite - my daughter, taronyu - hunter Taglist (bold indicates "could not tag"): @bangtanxberm @aonungmyaddiction @lv9su @aisselasstuff @yourusername1 @amortencjja @king-julian6201 @gg-trini @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @mikeyswifie @heart-an0n @iloveavatar @urdads-gf  @kentfisherswifee6 @sakurayuki8655-blog @ken-zah @nilrilie @g-l-1-t-c-h-3-r @iovemoonyy @sopluto @frvv A/N: Two chapters in just two days??? Anyway, like I said the last chapter, I had to split my writing into two parts since it was getting to be over 10,000 words, so here is the next part!

The trip back to the village was a quiet one, Y/n's mind still reeling about her conversation with Neteyam. Jake thankfully didn't ask and acted as a pillar of strength when they returned home. He made one look at Neytiri and she opted out of saying anything, gladly letting her husband and her daughter return to the marui but not before she held them both in her arms out of relief that things would be alright between them. Y/n went to bed early, exhausted from all of the events of the day that resulted in the grief come bouncing back. If she woke up in the middle of the night to find herself in a cuddle pile of both Na'vi and human siblings, she didn't mention it, and none of the Sullys made any comments the following morning. Everyone was just happy that bonds were mending and hearts were healing. They were one step closer to feeling like a family again.

Lo'ak was visibly more comfortable walking beside Y/n that morning, knowing that she and their father had talked, and was happy to no longer walk on eggshells around either of them. Y/n appeared more relaxed as well, despite receiving some odd-looking glares from nearby Metkayina girls. To ignore the stares and lighten the mood a little more, Y/n shoved her little brother into the water before he could even blink. The resulting splash sent Y/n laughing and Lo'ak sputtering when his resurfaced, vowing revenge. It was then that Ao'nung and Rotxo showed up, grinning down at Lo'ak's predicament while standing beside Y/n.

"Quit messing around, Lo'ak," Ao'nung teased good-naturedly, "We got work to do today."

Lo'ak frowned, slightly embarrassed but summoned an ilu for himself. The other teens do the same and they head out to work, all the while Rotxo explains today's task to the Sully children, "When training to be a warrior among the Metkayina, you have to ride an ilu to chase away predators that threaten the young."

"Bro, we used ilu to rescue a tulkun and fought against Sky People," Lo'ak retorts, "I think that should count."

"He's got a point," Y/n added, "I think we rescued plenty of our young doing that."

Lo'ak squints his eyes in his sister's direction, "I couldn't tell if that was sarcastic or not."

"Figure it out, skxawng."

"It is all about tradition," Ao'nung explained, "I am sure the Elders would appreciate us keeping up with old traditions despite we have done enough to become warriors ten times over already despite our young age."

"So we're only doing this to impress a bunch of old people?" Lo'ak questioned with an added groan, getting splashed by Y/n in the process.

"Lo, for someone who just tries to fit in--"

"I know, I know," he waved her off half-heartedly.

"I'd like to see you talk that way to Grandmother."

A bit of color drains from Lo'ak's face, but otherwise he says nothing. Ao'nung laughed as they leisurely swayed in the water, leaning over in Lo'ak's direction, "They say that the Elders see and hear all. I would watch my back if I were you, Lo'ak te Suli. Maybe make a necklace for them as an apology."

Y/n laughs while Rotxo's smile slowly turns up into a mischievous grin, eyeing Ao'nung while opening his mouth, his eyes all-knowing, "Speaking of necklaces, that is a very nice arrowhead, Y/n. Akula?"

Ao'nung spun to glare at Rotxo in warning while Y/n briefly pressed a finger to the arrowhead she had yet to take off. She quickly retracts her touch and pointedly doesn't look at Rotxo, "Yes, thank you."

By now, Lo'ak is also staring at the necklace, eyes widening each time his brain puts another piece of the puzzle together, head tilting to Ao'nung, then Y/n, then back again. Rotxo could see Lo'ak's realization slowly dawning on his face and decided not to let up for the sake of teasing his friend, "Did you make it? Or was it given to you?"

"The necklace is mine... the tooth was a gift."

"Oh? From who?" Rotxo's big eyes practically sparkle with mirth, staring directly at Lo'ak as he adds, "You know, speaking of tradition, usually when a Na'vi gifts another something as special as that, it means they are courting--"

"I think we should split up on our patrol," Lo'ak abruptly states, briefly glaring daggers at Ao'nung while urging his ilu forward to swim beside Rotxo, "As I am about ready to strangle both of you, I will be going with Rotxo."

"Sure," Ao'nung shrugged, "Meet back here around midday?"

"Alright. See ya then."

Ao'nung and Y/n watch Lo'ak and Rotxo speed their ilu up and swim away, jumping in and out of the water before disappearing on the horizon. The pair waits until they are completely alone before Y/n flashes a side-eye glance in Ao'nung's direction, "You told Rotxo?"

"I didn't tell him anything," he defends, "But practically everyone has been asking. They all probably know."

"Yeah... 'Teyam used to tease me about it." She smiled sadly at the memory.

"Did he? I was so sure he would have killed me."

"No, he was the brother you didn't have to worry about," she huffed a small laugh, "Lo'ak and Spider on the other hand... well, you've been punched by the one before, and Spider might be more level-headed but you have never seen him truly angry."

A small glimmer flashed in Ao'nung's eyes, a wave of respect for the human boy washing over him, "That's intriguing."

She snorts quietly, her eyes returning to the spot where the other pair of teenagers disappeared, "I'm pretty sure Lo'ak has known about us for a while, maybe before I even knew there was an 'us.' So I wouldn't worry about him. He's just acting like a child."

She raises an eyebrow when Ao'nung emits a small growl, "Maybe your brother should worry about me if what I heard about him and Tsireya is true."

"Oh, please. They have been fond of each other since the day they met, don't act like you didn't notice." Y/n rolled her eyes.

"I am going to kill him."

"You will do no such thing if you know what's good for you," she glared dangerously back, though Ao'nung noted that it was not as heated or as threatening as her usual glares, "You cannot hate him for seeing your sister and then turn around to see his. Besides, I think your mother doesn't mind it after she and I talked that one time we were foraging. She heard my side of things and I think she actually approves of Lo'ak and Tsireya now."

Ao'nung goes back to that day when he found Y/n and his mother walking out of the forest together, his ears sheepishly pinning back against his skull when he remembered what had happened after Y/n had left, "My mother asked about you."

Y/n's eyes widened, "She did?"

"And she tells my father everything, so..."

"Same here. I think our sisters know, but they are not saying anything. They would take it to their grave if we asked them." Y/n smiles to herself.

"It wouldn't matter. This whole village is full of spinsters," Ao'nung snidely comments, "Everyone's business is everyone's business."

He watched as the gears openly turned in Y/n's head, her eyes looking to the sky while she asked, "... Is that why there were girls staring at me down by the docks this morning?"

"I do not know," initially, he shrugs, but she watches as Ao'nung's eyes slowly start to sparkle as his teasing grin reemerges, "Maybe they are jealous."

"Jealous?"

"Of course," he flaunts dramatically, "Jealous that a forest girl from a faraway place managed to steal the future olo'eyktan out from under their noses."

Her scowl immediately pitches into a laugh when he reaches over and briefly grabs her tail. Y/n pulled away from him before he could do it again, still laughing while trying to evade his hand.

They urge their ilu to swim a bit more after that, chasing one another playfully until they get to their next spot for patrol. By the time they got there, Ao'nung noticed that Y/n was staring off into space and looking a little unsure of herself, "What is it?"

Her eyes and ears lower, gaze pointedly staring down at her hands, "We mentioned honoring tradition earlier, then just now you reminded me of your stature. Maybe the Elders wouldn't appreciate the chief's son choosing a forest girl over one of their own."

Ao'nung scoffed, "The Elders don't care about that sort of thing. You are Na'vi. That's all that matters to them."

"But even you didn't think we were true Na'vi," her eyes flick up to his and his blood turned cold under her stare, "Not when we first arrived."

He slouched, ears drooping while his eyes softened into regret, fingers twitching with the need to reach out to her, but remained in his lap, "I was wrong."

"Maybe. But there are others who still think the same way you did. They still look at me, Lo'ak, and Kiri and think we are freaks. I am pretty sure even Tuk has more friends than us because she at least looks Na'vi."

"That is not why she has more friends," Ao'nung tries to smile, "Tuk is Tuk."

Y/n hums to herself, feeling one corner of her mouth twitch at the fond thought of her baby sister, "That's true."

"You..." Her eyes flick back up to Ao'nung when his voice didn't sound very confident. He wouldn't look her in the eyes, clearly feeling out of his comfort zone. She patiently waited for him to speak, occupying herself by watching drips of water fall off his brow or glisten in his hair, the sun reflecting off his wet braids like diamonds. Y/n's chest squeezed, but it wasn't an uncomfortable feeling. It was warm and it was spreading over her like a comforting blanket that her mother would leave beside the fire. Her thoughts are disrupted when Ao'nung finally finds the courage to look up, "You have never once doubted yourself like that. Lo'ak and Kiri sometimes still look at themselves and hate what they see, but not you. You've never doubted yourself, Y/n, so why start now?"

"It doesn't matter whether or not I despise how I look," she carefully answers, feeling small and scrutinized under his disbelieving gaze, "It matters what everyone else would think if they knew you were courting a deformed freak."

"You are not deformed."

"No?" She bitterly questioned, frowning as she lifted up her hand to him, purposely wiggling her pinky finger, "This doesn't freak you out? It is alien."

"So what?" He reached out for her hand, "An extra finger just means there is more of you to hold."

The response stuns her to the point she didn't react when Ao'nung slipped his hand into hers. Looking down, she stared at their joined hands, fingers wrapped around one another in an ornament of two different colors. Looking back, their skin tones complimented each other beautifully together, and the contrast just made sense. Y/n was still amazed about how big Ao'nung's hand was compared to hers, despite being the same age. Once those thoughts vanish, all that's left are Ao'nung's smooth words and the color slowly rising in her ears.

Y/n scoffs, trying to play it off, "Do you think yourself charming?"

Ao'nung grinned, "Only for you, ma'yawntu."

The term of endearment surprises her out of a laugh, playfully horrified, "Eywa, no."

"Paskalin?"

"Stop."

"Syulang?"

"Please, you are embarrassing."

"I got all day, tìyawn." Ao'nung laughed, "What would you like me to call you?"

"How about my name?" She asked sarcastically.

His smile was wide, bright, and downright beautiful. It took all of Y/n's willpower not to melt right then and there, "Of course, Forest Girl. It's what I prefer anyway."

"I'm sure it is, Seaweed Brain."

~~~~~~~~~

Ronal's baby was born in the traditional way, in a water birth ceremony called the First Breath, where the whole clan gathers around in shallow water to celebrate. Now, normally the tsahik would help the mother guide her newborn to the surface to take its first breath, but seeing as Ronal was the one expecting, one village healer and Tsireya were chosen to help her. This was a new kind of ceremony for the Sullys so they hadn't fully participated until after the baby was born, then they proceeded to celebrate with the rest of the Metkayina.

Kailani was a beautiful baby girl and everyone adored her. Nearly everyone wanted to see her and hold her. As the newest baby in the village, she had earned herself a lot of attention and was loved by all, especially her older brother and sister. Ao'nung was little enough that he couldn't remember when Tsireya was born, and Tsireya had always been the youngest, so this was the first time either of the chief's children experienced what it was like to have a new baby in the family... and it showed.

This became obvious a month into Kailani's life when Tuk came out of nowhere and started to drag Y/n and Kiri by their hands toward Ronal and Tonowari's marui, "Come on, come on! I wanna see the baby!"

The teen girls reluctantly follow their little sister, smiling fondly at Tuk's excitement. It was adorable to see that Tuk didn't have much experience with babies either. Approaching the pod, it was obvious neither tsahik nor olo'eyktan was home, and yet there were soft cries coming out of the marui. Tuk drops her sisters' hands and runs in while Y/n and Kiri dutifully follow. Walking inside, they find Tsireya and Ao'nung sitting close together, appearing a little worried and exhausted while looking down at the small baby lying in her big brother's arms. Both of the reef teenagers looked up when they heard someone enter, and Tsireya waved them over, "Have either of you seen our mother?"

Kiri and Y/n exchange a look before the former responds, "She's in the healer's hut. A warrior came in all scraped up from getting thrown against the coral reef."

"What is wrong?" Y/n asked.

"She won't stop crying," Tsireya admits shamefully, looking a little distraught, "We do not know why. We fed and changed her, but--"

"Have my sisters help," Tuk confidently offers without missing a beat, proud at her idea, "They know about babies. They helped Mama take care of me when I was little."

Tsireya and Ao'nung pointedly look up at the older Sully sisters, their eyes desperately pleading. Kiri was initially going to scoff at Tuk for her idea before Y/n wordlessly stepped forward and knelt down in front of Ao'nung. One look and she could tell why Kailani was so upset. Her tiny body wasn't exactly held close to Ao'nung's body but was instead held in his arms and in his lap. It didn't look comfortable and Y/n pitied the child.

"Here," Y/n offered, leaning over and helping Ao'nung adjust his hold on his baby sister, having him lift Kailani up from his lap and making sure he kept supporting her neck, "Babies need a lot of skin-to-skin contact at the beginning of their lives. It helps them bond with their mothers and other members of their family."

Y/n helps Ao'nung lift Kai until she's nestled snugly against his chest, her face protected in the crook of his neck. Almost immediately, the baby calms down, trying to bury her cold little nose into her brother's warm skin. Ao'nung is unable to speak or look away from Y/n, his ears only perking up as a sign he is listening when she keeps on explaining, "Try not to pinch her tswin. Without any hair to protect it yet, the tswin can be extra sensitive."

Kiri smiled softly to herself as Y/n continued to list several things Tsireya and Ao'nung could do, both of them listening with intense determination, all the while Kiri could only think about her older sister. It really was a shame that Y/n didn't want to take on the role of tsakarem, instead passing it along to Kiri when her adopted sister had shown an interest. Y/n still remembered a thing or two about healing from when Mo'at had begun to teach her, but from what Kiri understood, Y/n would get easily distracted and would beg their grandmother to dismiss her so she could go find Neteyam and train alongside him to become a warrior. Mo'at eventually gave in, fondly stating how Y/n was just like her mother, then proceeded to name Kiri her successor.

While Y/n may not like the method of healing and preferred hunting, she was still pretty knowledgeable when it was needed, and as Tuk said, she and Kiri remembered what it was like having a new baby in the family. Tsireya and Ao'nung appeared incredibly grateful for Y/n... but Kiri couldn't help but grin under her hand while looking at the way Ao'nung was staring at her older sister. The way his mouth formed such a secretive smile without the intention of showing it, his eyes subtly falling from Y/n's eyes to watch her lips as she spoke before flicking back up to her eyes before anyone would notice. But Kiri noticed, and she eventually had to look away because she felt as though she was intruding on something so intimate.

Rotxo had told Kiri and Spider about the mysterious arrowhead-shaped tooth that suddenly appeared around Y/n's neck one day, but the adopted Sullys didn't want to believe it. Lo'ak had scoffed, rolling his eyes and refusing to talk about it, but Neytiri had overheard and had this all-knowing smile on her face as she cooked over the hearth when her children walked back into the marui after bidding Rotxo goodnight. Jake and Tuk were none the wiser but Kiri had a feeling that her father was like Lo'ak, trying to ignore that something was clearly going on between Ao'nung and Y/n. Now, it was more obvious than ever.

~~~~~~~~~

While Y/n had not been able to complete all of her rites of passage alongside Rotxo and Ao'nung, she and the other Sully children still cheered them on and celebrated alongside them, especially after watching in amazement to see how a young Metkayina must finish certain challenges alongside their bonded tulkun brother or sister. After finishing those trials, along with taming their own skimwings, Ao'nung and Rotxo were gifted a special article of clothing, their first tattoo as warriors of the clan, and three beads for their songcords. Everyone was proud of the reef boys, now celebrated as young men among their People.

Next was going to be Y/n. She was determined to follow suit, as were Lo'ak and Kiri. They went out to practice for their trials every day, playfully competing with one another. Whilst Kiri was planning on becoming a healer in the tribe, she still wanted to tame a tsurak as her rite of passage and receive a Metkayina tattoo meant to signify healing. Jake and Neytiri were not sure how to feel about three of their children rushing toward adulthood, but they were supportive either way. The older Sully children tried very hard not to exclude Spider in the many training exercises, but he goodnaturedly shooed them away and told them to have fun and train hard. He may not be able to follow them, but he will still cheer them on from the sidelines, being there in spirit.

Lo'ak passed his trial with Payakan with flying colors, and now he and his sisters would move on to taming their own tsurak. Kiri did so with ease, her attachment to Eywa helping her befriend the mighty skimwing instead of mastering it. All of her siblings cheered for her from the docks, watching her disappear to wander with her new friend beyond the sea wall. Lo'ak was determined to go next, and while it looked a little rocky at times, he too, mastered his own warrior's mount, and Jake yelped and whooped proudly for his son. Lo'ak also left the safety of the lagoon to explore with his new friend and likely introduce him to Payakan.

When it was Y/n's turn to go tame a skimwing, Ao'nung approached her and spoke quietly under his breath, "Remember. The tsurak are temperamental creatures. Much like an ikran, you have to work hard to form a strong and loyal bond with them."

"Got it," Y/n nodded in acknowledgment, wrapping leather around her knuckles per her father's advice. Speaking of whom, Jake was approaching his daughter so Ao'nung simply nodded his head toward Toruk Makto and walked away to stand beside his own father.

Jake narrowed his eyes as he watched Ao'nung leave before softening his gaze and speaking down to his firstborn, "You're your mother's daughter. That makes you the best flyer and hunter on an ikran, so this will be a cakewalk for you. Tonowari told me that the ikran and the tsurak share a distant ancestor, so it's easy to see where they get their stubbornness from. You know how to tame stubbornness. You'll be a pro at this."

Y/n tried her very best not to visibly shrink up under her father's advice and praise. She wants to stand tall and proud under his words of affirmation now that they're starting to see eye-to-eye, but it is still a work in progress. She's not used to her father being so encouraging as of late, due to him stressing out over the war, moving away, and losing a son, so it was still a big step that needed adjusting. So, Y/n instead smiled widely up at her father and whispered a small thank you before rushing over to get the tsahik and olo'eyktan's blessing.

Ronal and Tonowari bid Y/n good luck with their own hidden smiles while Tsireya shared her confidence for her friend and lifted Kailani's arm up to wave at the Sully girl for encouragement. Ao'nung flashed his forest girl his own secret smile and a small nod, barely noticeable to the naked eye. Y/n practically beamed and with a new wave of confidence, turned and ran down the long dock to the very end, diving gracefully into the water.

All forms of sealife greet her underwater, her breath held as she forced herself not to get distracted. Since that fateful day against the Sky People, Y/n had been training herself to hold her breath longer, hoping to never have to worry anyone over her drowning ever again, not wanting to be a burden. Without wasting any time, she called out for a skimwing to approach her.

She had managed to find a school of fish Ao'nung told her was the tsurak's favorite snack, so she swam close to the fish and continued to call out, her heart singing when her strategy worked and a familiar beast gradually glided toward her, its powerful, scaled body creating a disturbance in the water. Looking like a Terran gharial, the tsurak approached with purpose and demanded to be respected, other small fish species quickly scattering to avoid it. With its long, sword-like snout, it gave itself personal space, and with its beady, soulless eyes, it analyzed Y/n. For an animal that was nearly domesticated with the Metkayina, Y/n wasn't worried about whether or not the creature deemed her as a threat, but then again, she looked different compared to all the other Na'vi the tsurak likely grew up with, and it was possible the skimwing could smell the part of her that descends from demons.

Y/n didn't take the kind and befriending approach as Kiri did. That form of taming only works for someone as Eywa-blessed at Y/n's adopted sister. Instead, she kept herself between the beast and its likely prey, the schoolfish behind her. The threat was clear. If it wanted to eat, the tsurak would have to go through her first.

The reptilian-looking fish didn't appear insulted by the threat and leisurely swayed side to side, jaw gradually opening and closing to breathe while stuck in place, showing off its small rows of razor-sharp teeth while staring Y/n down and waiting for the right opening to strike. Y/n slowly and carefully pulled her kuru braid over her shoulder all the while keeping her eyes locked on the tsurak. As they continued with this ocean version of a standoff, Y/n gradually began to inch forward, only moving in small, very slow strokes of water.

When she got too close, the tsurak opened its jaws and snapped down, quick as lightning, but Y/n was prepared for it. Much like taming an ikran, she quickly moved out of the way before the creature could bite her head off and, using her knuckles and palms now wrapped in leather, clamped down on the jaws of the creature, keeping it shut with as much muscle she could muster while using her newly found momentum to quickly swim onto the skimwing's back, never letting go. Knowing she would only have a second before the creature was no longer stunned, Y/n let go of the jaw with one hand and quickly grabbed her braid, immediately forming the tsaheylu.

The beast wiggled and then paused, swaying calmly back and forth as the connection was made. With her lungs slightly beginning to burn, Y/n didn't panic but also didn't hesitate to give the creature the order to resurface, now letting her other hand let go of the tsurak's snout in good faith. She promises to let the tsurak eat, later, if he swam up for air.

As quick as a bullet, the tsurak follows its new rider's order, shooting up through the water at great speed. Y/n nearly forgot to hang on tight, clamping her thighs down on the creature's back as tight as she could, her ears beginning to pop at the very sudden water pressure as they rose higher toward the surface. Sunlight was coming in fast and, before she knew it, Y/n was out of the water, leaping through the air, and plunging back into the ocean, all while still holding on tightly to the back of her very own tsurak. The beast resurfaces more gently this time and stays leisurely swimming above the water, giving Y/n much-needed time to breathe. She smiles when she can hear scattered cheering from the beach and docks but keeps on task, trying to stay focused. She has yet to fly with her new ride.

Adjusting her grip on the creature, she gives her new order, clenching her thighs again while preparing for the powerful beast's ascent. The tsurak begins to speed up, faster and faster until it's zipping through the water like a ship. Eventually, it gains enough momentum and the creature lets out its wings, extending them until they begin to catch air, and then the body rises out of the water. Y/n hangs on tight, stamping down the anxiety in her gut, sharing her determination and willpower through her new bond so the skimwing knows she means business. There is no room for failure.

The tsurak doesn't stumble, doesn't break, and doesn't lose focus. As they sail, the pair sails gracefully without a single wiggle or wobble. Y/n can faintly hear cheering in the distance but doesn't let it phase her. One more test. She gives the order and holds her breath, immediately bending down and pressing her body tightly against the creature's back.

The tsurak retracts its wings and points its snout down, briefly falling through the air before diving straight into the water below. The impact and mighty force of it all was much more powerful than riding an ilu, and Y/n had to hold on for dear life. Water rushed through her ears and she squinted her eyes in order to see better, but she held on and she held firmly. She would rather get her arm pulled off than let go, so she held on tighter, her leather wraps doing the trick to give her a better grip. One last order and Y/n feels the pair of them shooting back up through the water and into the air again, and this time, Y/n hoots triumphantly at the top of her lungs, hanging on tightly with one hand but throwing her other fist in the air, her trial complete.

Several people are cheering with her on the beach and in the water. Spider, Tuk, and Jake are whooping and hollering like party animals, ecstatic for their daughter and sister. Ao'nung and Rotxo are cheering alongside them, along with several other Metkayina watching the event. Y/n beams proudly at all of them from a distance, then proceeds to follow Kiri and Lo'ak's lead and head for open waters.

Ao'nung is smiling just as proudly from the beach, and once Y/n takes off, so does he. The chief's son immediately breaks into a sprint down the side of the beach, diving into the water before another word can be said. Once below the surface, he calls for his own skimwing and takes off after the Sully girl.

The only one who appeared to notice Ao'nung slip away was Neytiri, but she appeared to be smiling as she watched the reef boy chase after her daughter. A brief wave of déjà vu washed over her as she watched until she couldn't see either tsurak anymore. She smiled fondly, proud and filled with unimaginable joy as she had witnessed history repeat itself, much like it had with her when she first chased after Jake on their ikran.

The new warriors do not stay out for long. When eclipse comes, Y/n, Ao'nung, Lo'ak, and Kiri return for the Sully children's ceremony. The sunlight disappears and it's replaced with a bioluminescent glow everywhere, as far as the eyes could see. Lo'ak, Y/n, and Kiri stand before Ronal and Tonowari as they are presented with their rewards, their article of clothing, and the beads for their songcords to signify this triumphant milestone of adulthood. The Na'vi believe that every person is born twice and the second time is when a Na'vi finds his or her place among the People forever.

Once Ronal and Tonowari bestow the three Sullys their first tattoos, they were officially one with the Metkayina, marked with warrior and healer ink. Everyone gathered around the new young adults and congratulated them, making room for the parents to squeeze their way through the crowd and finally gather their children up. Neytiri held her children against her, joyous tears in her eyes even as her heart broke, mourning their childhoods but celebrating their futures. Jake held his children just as tightly but didn't make a sound, afraid of what would come out if he tried to talk.

The ceremony gave way to celebration, large bonfires lining up and down the beach, the flames rising high into the night sky, embers blinking down on Eywa's children along with the stars above. The Metkayina dance together in wide circles around the fires, conjoined in several different rings, moving in opposite directions as they sang, talked, laughed, ate, and drank to their hearts' content.  

Y/n found herself dancing around a fire that was shared by most of the newest warriors of the tribe, people around her own age, and her brother and Kiri. There were so many fires along the beach, however, so it would be nearly impossible to find out which ones her other family members were socializing at, hidden among the chaotic crowds of flailing limbs and boisterous songs. She allowed herself to let loose and cared little about what others thought of her, letting the swoa warm her stomach and the fire her skin. She stuck close to Kiri and Tsireya for a short while before the chief's daughter ran off to find Lo'ak. Y/n and Kiri playfully rolled their eyes before the latter decided to turn in for the night-- which is just code for she was going to keep Spider company so their adopted brother didn't feel left out. Y/n let her sister go without complaint, giving her a brief hug and voicing how proud she was of her. Kiri smiled brightly under the praise and took off, leaving Y/n's heart feeling warm as well. Getting roped back into dancing, Y/n danced without a care in the world, not bothered by whether or not she looked bad, and sang with the others until she was breathless. The celebration was getting to be too disorderly with everyone having so much fun that faces had begun to blur and sometimes when people danced, they were spinning too fast to figure out their bearings. 

But Y/n let her feet carry her to her intended destination, and that was right into Ao'nung's arms. With her family elsewhere and other Metkayina having too much fun to otherwise gape at the sight, Y/n danced with the chief's son for practically the whole night, tired and out of breath, but never wanting to stop. She couldn't help it. With the fire lighting one side of his face and the bioluminescent ocean lighting the other, Ao'nung looked ethereal, and Y/n couldn't stop her rapidly beating heart even if she wanted to.  

Ao'nung only looked at her, never caring about who saw them, his smile gentle and eyes proud, not helping the flips Y/n's stomach was taking. Her body felt like it was on fire in the best way possible under his gaze, and maybe it was the lighting, maybe it was the liquid courage, or maybe it was the way he was looking at her, but her mind was open and her voice was knocked loose from her throat as she pulled her reef boy close to her and whispered so only he could hear the words that she knew, deep down, were only meant for him, "Ao'nung. Oel ngati kameie."

Ao'nung's eyes briefly widened, mouth falling open in shock, yet he couldn't take a breath in. The fire didn't help the blooming fire in the forest girl's yellow eyes, piercing up at his and leaving him breathless, unable to come up for air. She didn't look afraid or even bothered by his reaction, instead, she smiled, a little cheekily, as if she could see just how much she affected him. Slowly, he comes back to his senses, a smile slowly creeping up his lips once more. His hands gently cup both sides of her face, marveling at how her entire head fit perfectly in his palms, while her reasonably smaller hands move to hold his sides, keeping his body close to hers. Ao'nung leans in, taking a small breath in through his nose, memorizing her scent before he gently fits his lips against hers, to which she responds in kind. The kiss tasted like sea salt and swoa, but neither complained, closing their eyes and reveling in their closeness.

Despite her lessons, Y/n regrettably needed to pull away for air, and when the kiss broke, her soft pants ghosted across Ao'nung's skin, hot and prickly, and when her eyes opened, she stared up at him through her eyelashes, cheeks slightly flushed. It took a tremendous amount of willpower to relax his body, his heart racing to the tempo of drums playing somewhere in the crowd. Eventually, his mind clears and he manages to find words again, leaning his forehead into his forest girl's.

"Ma'yawntutsyìp Y/n. Oel ngati kameie."

~~~~~~~~~

Neytiri sees everything when it comes to her children, especially her firstborn daughter. That girl is a spitting image of the mother who birthed her, except for the little human features she inherited from her father, so Neytiri often knew what was going on in Y/n's head because she had been in her daughter's footsteps. Neytiri was young once. She knew what it was like to be in love.

Neytiri te Tskaha Mo'at'ite had seen the lingering glances, the stares when the other wasn't looking, and the smiles that were only shared between each other. Furthermore, Neytiri had noticed the arrowhead on Y/n's necklace the second she came home that day, and then the mother noticed Ao'nung anxiously waiting to get out there and chase her daughter into the sea astride their tsurak. And of course, even in the vast crowds lining the beach the night of Y/n's ceremony, Neytiri could see the young pair kissing, unbothered by the amount of people around them. It felt as though no one had seen them but her. 

And yet, she had not said a word. Much like Y/n and Ao'nung's sisters, Neytiri intended to take their secret to the grave if it meant seeing her eldest daughter smile again. Sure, Neytiri was fiercely protective of her children, but she would never refuse her child when it came to whatever made them happy... especially after she had lost Neteyam.

So Neytiri kept quiet and just watched from a distance. Now that three of her children were seen as adults among the Metkayina, their tattoos a physical sign as such, she wasn't gonna go around telling them what to do anymore and just enjoyed their company while it lasted. After all, soon they will choose men or women to be with... and not long after that, Neytiri will find her marui emptier than the day before.

One fateful day, Neytiri found herself alone with Y/n in their family pod, cooking some fish over the fire to prepare meals for the rest of the Sullys to take with them throughout the day. It was a quiet and comfortable morning until Ao'nung showed up, respectfully greeting Neytiri before asking Y/n if she would like to join the other warriors on a hunt that afternoon.

Y/n perked up at the offer, her smile brightening under Ao'nung's gaze. Wordlessly, she nudges Neytiri's shoulder with her forehead, and her mother leans into the touch before the daughter draws away and stands up. Y/n briefly grabs Ao'nung's arm before diving into the water with the intention of having him follow her. Ao'nung stayed a second longer, lingering in the doorway of Neytiri's home when he noticed the woman staring at him. Despite wanting her daughter's happiness, Neytiri also wants her daughter to be safe, so she briefly glares at the chief's son before simply looking back down at her task, "If she gets hurt, I pluck your eyes out."

For some reason, he knew she wasn't talking about the hunting party.

That same night, during communal dinner, Neytiri could see just how obvious Ao'nung and Y/n looked. Instead of sitting with her family, Y/n sat with his, conversing between him and Tsireya without a care in the world. Occasionally, the chief's son would try to sneak a kiss on the forest girl's cheek, hiding it by pretending to whisper in her ear. Y/n would smile shyly, her pinky finger subtly reaching out for his hand whilst she talked to his sister.

This time, Neytiri wasn't the only one who noticed, and she cursed herself for not trying to distract her husband sooner instead of openly gawking at the young pair with him. The moment Ao'nung reached for Y/n's pinky finger, Neytiri could feel her husband tense up beside her. Immediately, she knew what was about her happen once her mate quickly stood up and she was helpless to stop it. 

"Jake--" She had gotten up as well but it was too late. Her mate had already stormed off in the direction of their daughter. Several eyes throughout the communal meal turned in their direction and Neytiri could feel their stares prickling along her back, her other children now aware of something wrong when she stood.

"Mama?" Tuk asked.

The older Sully children immediately clock the situation once they follow their mother's gaze, seeing their father clearly out for blood as he beelines for the chief's family. Spider immediately scrambles to his feet, "Shit--"

Neytiri didn't know whether to hiss at or agree with Spider's observation, her feet taking her to where Jake was going, the rest of her children now standing up to follow her as well, abandoning their meals. Neytiri would not make it in time, but even from where she was, she could hear the commotion already starting when Jake reached down and grabbed Y/n's arm, pulling her to her feet and away from Ao'nung, "Alright, young lady. Time to talk."

"Dad, what--"

Ao'nung immediately rose to his feet without thinking. Neytiri almost pitied him, "Sir--"

Jake's glare fell on Ao'nung, his voice dropping low to a tone only the military side of him could produce, "And you, boy. Did you mate with my daughter?"

"Dad!"

Y/n's exclamation further drew the attention of the tsahik and olo'eyktan, along with even more Metkayina sitting around the growing commotion. Neytiri could see Ronal and Tonowari stand up as well, their eyes only on Jake and their son, dread forming in her gut at the idea of what might happen next. Ronal handed Kailani over to Tsireya and marched with her mate over to the confrontation as Jake continued to talk down to her son. 

"And whatever you say better be the answer I'm hoping for, young man. So choose your words wisely."

Neytiri finally reached her husband and grabbed his arm, opening her mouth to try and get him to calm down while the rest of their children stood around them and simply observed with worried glances. Ao'nung glared only at Jake, his shoulders squared back, and stepped up no doubt to defiantly say something stupid before Y/n stopped him from where she stood behind her father.

"Ao'nung," she warned loudly, to which his eyes flicked to hers at the sound of her voice.

Time stilled as everyone turned to Y/n, waiting to hear what she had to say, even her father. She didn't look at anyone else other than her lover. All Y/n had to do was flatten her ears and just ever so slightly tilt her head, eyes locked on his the whole time for Ao'nung to get the message, loud and clear. His shoulders lower and visibly calms himself under her stare, and in response, Ao'nung merely nods. The young Metkayina backed down, stepping away from Toruk Makto and glancing off to the side, eyes and ears lowered like an injured nantang pup. Jake's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, glancing between Ao'nung and his daughter, trying to figure out what had just happened.

From beside Lo'ak, Kiri silently gasps behind her hand as she whispers to the younger brother, "Oh, my Eywa. He's so whipped for her."

"Bro-- shut up," Lo'ak hissed back, glaring at his sister's tiny amused smile while Spider laughed under his breath.

Jake didn't have time to berate his other children as he shook off his confusion and his wife's arm, letting go of Y/n's bicep but keeping her frozen to the spot under his cold, scrutinizing glare, "Look at me, young lady," she refused at first, eyes flicking elsewhere in shame and fear, "Look at me."

Her frown twitches just as the fear dissipates, her usual distaste for authority returning. Her eyes harden as she purposely and slowly glares up at her father through her eyebrows, her entire posture now defiant and standing strong against him.

Either Jake didn't notice this subtle change in body language or he didn't care, glaring right back at her, "Tell me the truth. It's a simple yes or no. Did you mate with him?"

She flashed her fangs, grinding out her response between her teeth, "No, sir."

"Do you plan on it?"

"I do not see how that is any of your business anymore."

"Y/n, where I'm from, you're still too young to have a family," he points back to Ao'nung without ever taking his eyes off his daughter, "And he is the chief's son--"

"You can't tell me who I can or cannot be with when Mom went against everyone and everything she believed in to be with you," her tone was strong and accusatory, throwing Jake into a state of shock as he nearly stumbles back. Y/n stood strong against her father, her words bold and as destructive as a tsunami wave, "I would not exist if you hadn't gone off and mated with the chief's daughter so don't you dare try to sound as if you are above such scandal." 

"Oh, snap," Spider muttered, earning an elbow to his chest from Lo'ak.

The entire commotion had been driven to silence, everyone waiting with bated breath as to what would happen next. Neytiri felt both fear and pride for her daughter, again, feeling history repeat itself through the eyes of her child. Tonowari finally broke the silence and the stand-off by stepping between Jake and Y/n and placing a comforting hand on Toruk Makto's shoulder, all the while pointedly staring at each and every Na'vi who was openly watching the family feud, "I think it is time for everyone to return to their meals."

Ronal backs up her mate's demand by glaring at all the bystanders, "Go on."

The Metkayina scatter, either to return to their seats or avert their eyes back to their food, the silence now filled with casual mumbling among the People. Jake's ears droop when he realizes the size of the audience he attracted by his outburst and he has the decency to look ashamed. He peers back to his family and mutters, "Lo'ak. Spider. Take the girls home."

"I can walk myself home, thank you very much," Y/n snarled dangerously, stepping around Tonowari and her father and stomping through the parting sea of Na'vi who dared to get in her way.

Tuk pouted and stomped her foot defiantly, "So can I!"

Kiri sighs in mental exhaustion toward her baby sister, "Tuk..." 

Once the other Sully kids gathered and vanished from the meal, Tonowari glanced between Ao'nung and Jake, "Let us return to my home to further discuss this."

Ronal gestured Neytiri over to her before looking over her shoulder to address Tsireya, "Stay here, ma'ite."

Tsireya nodded appropriately, keeping Kailani close to her chest as she flashed a small look of encouragement to Ao'nung. She watched her parents and brother walk out of the community marui, the Sullys following suit. Neytiri walks out into the night with her husband's hand in hers, squeezing his fingers in encouragement.

Once the group was safe inside Ronal and Tonowari's home, Jake immediately apologized, "Brother, forgive me for my actions against your family. I was out of line and your son did not deserve my behavior toward him."

Tonowari raised his hand to gently silence him, "I will not fault a father for just trying to protect his child. There is nothing to forgive. Ao'nung is still young and has much to learn. Before he began to court your daughter, he should have gone to you for your blessing immediately."

Ao'nung, clearly embarrassed, kept his head down while he quietly whined, "Father, please--"

"You are the one who wishes to court Toruk Makto's daughter, boy," Tonowari directed his gaze to his son, eyes darkening but not as a threat, but in disappointment, "As the future of our clan, you should have done what tradition demands."

Jake took pity on Ao'nung, watching the way a father looked down on his son, immediately thrown back to the past when he, too, looked down on Neteyam and Lo'ak, and instantly knew he had to speak up this time, "No. I don't blame your son for not coming to me. I don't deserve that sort of respect. Y/n is strong-willed and she knows I don't deserve the respect of being her father or any traditions that require me to be so. If anything, she would much rather have Ao'nung ask for my sons' blessings over my own because her brothers respect her as an individual who can make her own decisions... unlike me."

Tonowari nods, looking back to meet eyes with his mate. Ronal shares a silent conversation with him before the chief turns back to the Sullys, "If it is any consultation, Jakesully, Ronal and I have approved of this match a long time ago."

Ao'nung's head perks up with interest, "You did?"

Jake's question echoed Ao'nung's, equally shocked, "You did?"

The chief explains with a distant look in his eyes, "I was much like my son at that age. Arrogant, crude, and desperate to please the other reef boys around me. All it took was to find Ma Ronal to get my head back on straight. From that day on, I only ever ran after her." 

Ronal pointedly looks at Neytiri, her chin held high, "Even though he is destined to be olo'eyktan one day, my son has never shown interest in a mate. Never. Not once. That is... until he met your daughter."

Neytiri took Ronal's stare as an opening for her to add to the discussion, raising her hand to gently take her husband's arm to grab his attention, "Jake. I already knew."

Jake turned back to her, still shocked and sounding like a broken record, "You did?"

"Everyone did," she nodded, smiling slightly, "Apart from you. Why do you think none of us have said anything before now? It is because we have accepted it and even approved of the match. We all would have said something sooner if we were against it. Y/n is taronyu now and she does not need our permission to live her life anymore. She never had."

Jake takes a moment to collect his thoughts, breathing deeply in and out slowly through his nose. He stared off into space, conflicted with a war going on in his head before Neytiri simply squeezed his arm and he returned to the present. Jake looked back at his wife before raising his white flag, turning his gaze onto Ao'nung with an expression of guilt.

"I am sorry, Ao'nung. I shouldn't have accused you of anything. I know Y/n is capable of taking care of herself and I know she wouldn't have given you the time of day if she didn't think you were a good man," Ao'nung stands up straighter, appearing grateful and nodding to Jake before the former marine turned to Tonowari, "We'll take our leave now. I apologize for interrupting your supper."

Jake takes Neytiri's hand again and they walk home, speaking as they walk so their conversation is kept private before they would have to face their children, "Does he have to court her now? They're too young."

Neytiri hums in agreement, "Courting sometimes takes years, Ma Jake."

"It wasn't with us."

She hums again, only it was full of fond amusement, "If I recall, you never courted me."

A small grin played on his lips, a little drained from tonight's events, but it was genuine all the same as he playfully spoke, "No, but if I recall, you knew exactly what you were doing taking me out there to the Tree of Voices, alone, wearing your hair like that and wearing that lovely top--"

"Ma Jake!" Neytiri gasped in astonishment, gently slapping his chest and laughing as they finally made it home.

The parents quiet their amusement before they walk into the marui, instantly met with five pairs of eyes, four yellow and one brown. While the rest of their children stared expectedly at them, Y/n immediately looked away, ears pulled back in embarrassment and tucking her knees up to her chest.

Jake immediately beelines for Y/n, slowly sitting down beside her as he wraps an arm around her shoulders, "I'm sorry."

Conflict flashes over her face. It felt as though she and her father were back at square one, fighting as though they hadn't already sorted out their issues. Then again, this wasn't Neteyam, or the war, or Y/n's depression. Jake was just trying to be the classic overprotective parent he was always meant to be. He wasn't acting as a soldier. He was acting as a father, and that's all Y/n had ever wanted from him. Slowly, she melts into her father's embrace and sighs, "I know. You were just being my father. That is not something I'll ever blame you for. Just... don't be so embarrassing next time."

Jake and the rest of the children laugh while he just holds Y/n close. Neytiri smiles at the scene, trying to memorize it as best as she can so she can share it with Neteyam the next time she visits her son. After all, Y/n was one step closer to moving out of their family marui and wouldn't be able to hug her father like this as often as they used to. As sad as that made Neytiri feel, she was comforted by the fact that Ao'nung was kind and good to her daughter, and she would never be alone again.

A/N: The next part will be the final! Basically, I wrote everything that I wanted for this story, and the rest of it can be told in just one more chapter, so I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I have!

[everybody-loves-purdy]

I’ve seen a few people lately share what warriors characters they think represent the seven deadly sins, and I’ve had a think about it too and come to my own conclusions. And I thought it would be fun to include a relevant quote for each one.

Wrath : Darktail

But it wasn't a claw Darktail lowered toward him. It was his head, as he bent down to whisper in his ear. "I will destroy you, and all the Clans, for what you did to me.”

Onestar’s Confession Chapter 29

Pride : Skystar

“That’s the problem Clear Sky.” Thunder lashed his tail. “I can’t tell you anything. You think you know it all. But you don’t! You can’t tell good from bad, you never could. But you’re so determined to be ‘right’ that you’ll twist everything to prove it. If you mistook a fox for a rabbit you’d keep calling it a rabbit while it tore out your throat, just because you’d rather die than admit you were wrong.”

A Forest Divided - Chapter 12

Lust: Ashfur

“Are you ready to fight me?” Squirrelflight demanded. “Because that’s what you’ll have to do, if you want to stop me.”

“No, I don’t want to harm you,” Ashfur meowed. “I still love you.”

Squirrelflight’s only response was to turn away from him with a disgusted hiss. Ashfur blinked and looked away briefly with a dip of his head. To Shadowsight’s surprise, he seemed genuinely hurt, as if he couldn’t believe that the dark ginger she-cat had rejected him. How could Ashfur possibly think Squirrelflight would go along with him, now or ever? Shadowsight wondered. Then he realized that Ashfur wasn’t thinking straight at all. His obsession with Squirrelflight was making him ignore what was right in front of him.

“Why are you forcing me to do this?” he asked plaintively. “If you would just admit that you love me, I could stop.”

The Place of No Stars Chapter 15

Greed: Tigerstar (I)

As Fireheart said good-bye to Yellowfang and went back to hunting, he felt a new surge of determination to bring Tigerclaw's guilt into the open. For the sake of Redtail, murdered; for Ravenpaw, driven from the Clan; for Cinderpaw, crippled. And for all the Clan cats, both now and to come, who were in danger from Tigerclaw's greed for power.

Forest of Secrets Chapter 4

Gluttony: Slash

Juniper grunted. “We shouldn’t have to go hunting when food is rotting in camp.”

“Why doesn’t Slash share it?” Raven growled angrily. “He gives the best pieces to Splinter and Beetle and leaves the rest to turn sour when we’re eating scraps.”

Path of Stars - Chapter 12

Sloth: Sol

"Ask me if Sol joined in the fight," Pod rasped. Brambleclaw cocked his ears. "Well?"

"He didn't raise a single claw to help us," the old tom growled. "He wasn't even there to watch! He just strolled in here while we were licking our wounds."

"What happened then?" Brackenfur asked. Jingo twitched her ears. "If he'd admitted he was wrong, it might have been different. But he insisted that we were the ones who decided to fight, and it wasn't his fault that we lost. Then he sat down and started washing himself, and asked Jet to bring him some food."

Sunrise Chapter 11

Envy: Mapleshade

"I earned my place in the Dark Forest. But what made it worse was that the father of my drowned kits took a RiverClan mate! He promised he would only love me! They had a daughter, and she had a son, and do you know who that son was?"

Crookedstar shook his head, trying to keep up. “Shellheart," Mapleshade snarled. "Your father." Her paws were trembling. "Do you see now? Do you understand?"

"Understand what?"

"You mouse-brain! My kin should have been the leader of RiverClan, not his! If ThunderClan hadn't driven me across the river, my kits would never have died. If RiverClan hadn't rejected me, I'd be their father's mate, not some fish-hearted RiverClan queen." Her breath was coming in gasps now. "I’ve endured so much betrayal! So many cats have hurt me beyond measure. And then you came, destined for so much greatness, when you should never have been born!"

Crookedstar’s Promise Chapter 39

[evermore-grimoire]

The Evermore Grimoire: Magical Relics

A Water Portal is a magical portal that allows merpeople the ability to travel throughout the Seven Seas in an instant. The portals were created by the Baltic Mermaids after the war between mermaids and mermen so that they and the other surviving mermaid pods could stay connected to one another. The mermaids vowed to keep the portals a secret by carving a symbol of their tails on rocks hidden deep on the seabed throughout the Seven Seas. Only a mermaid or sea witch can open the portal by simply hovering their hand over the symbol which will then glow bright blue, as the oceans tides swirl together creating a whirlpool. Thus allowing them to pass through and travel to any part of the ocean that their heart's desire. Over the years the water portals and their sacred locks have become lost to the ever changing tides of the ocean. However that doesn't mean they're lost forever and will still unlock to any sea witch or mermaid looking for a fast way to travel between the Seven Seas.

[arbiterlexultionis]

Instant Eternity Pt. 2

So, Danny has the infi-map and uses it to go on vacations and the like to enjoy his now eternal life. The infinite realms are Infinite, really and truly. But locations within the realms correlate to spaces in the “real” world, so what happens when you travel beyond what should be the ends of the “real” universe in the realms? You find other universes. All universes, realities, multi and Omni verses connect with the Infinite Realms, hence the name kind of implying the existence of infinite realms. With the infimap Danny’s able to visit and explore these other planes of existence to his hearts content, and over the course of his travels makes a number of close friends.

He can’t just say goodbye forever, can’t leave them with no way to call for aid or call for small talk so, he comes up with a bit of a crazy plan to make sure all his new friends can meet each other and stay in contact. A combination of the infi-map, Fenton portal technology, time medallions/assistance from clockwork, help from the yeti’s and maybe even some help from Dr. Strange or Dr. Fate all come together to make a private club that connects to who knows how many dimensions. In a Ghost King AU his royal palace has all the normal palace stuff but surrounding Phantom’s Keep is a whole town for inter-dimensional travelers. The portals themselves are all in a massive tower, either leaning tower of Pisa style or a massive clock tower because of how much Clockwork helped out, arranged kind of like how all the statues of the avatars are arranged in the air temple in ATLA.

Danny’s sitting at his desk in his office while 7 Gokus, 13 Vegitas, 4 Beeruses(Beerusi? A pod of Beerus? Flock?) 10 Piccolos and 1 Gohan crowd the rest of his office. “Two Hundred and Forty. 2-4-fucking-0. That is the number of of Territories that have lodged official complaints about the ruckus your fights have been causing! Queen Patet sent a fifty seven page long letter asking me to give every single one of your dimensions eternal travel bans to all of your dimensions and every dimension where even one of you exist. Because the shockwaves from your fights were still strong enough to shatter glass when they reached her Territory. The territory of Vitrum, which makes Fucking Everything from glass! Including the Goddamn Buildings! They build their cities in massive glass orbs! More than thirteen hundred buildings torn down in one day. Including every single hospital they had. You fought for nine days straight. Get out. Get the crap baskets out of my office. Now. Go home. Let the Bulmas know that they’re paying the reparations.” They all file out of the office, Vegitas and the flock of Beerus mumbling about how they shouldn’t have made their buildings out of glass if they didn’t want them to get broken. The one(1) brain cell the group had, otherwise known as Gohan, was apparently the only one with manners, profusely apologizing and offering to help with the clean up even as he got shooed out of the office.

More then a dozen Quirckless!Izuku vigilantes come together to form a great big club to share intel that match’s across their various worlds, analyze quirks, train and give each other therapy. It’s all going well. Then the Batmen stop developing contingency plans for literally all the beings they meet here juuust long enough for their adoption senses to start tingling. The Dad Mights, Dadzawas and Dad for Ones put aside their differences to combat this new threat. The Spider-men are sitting in a corner grateful that their spider senses and Peter tingles helped them avoid all that nonsense. Until the Iron Dads show up. Then they’re all to busy running and cursing their Parker luck to be grateful.

Passing through a gateway to another universe that isn’t yours require approval from no less then half the visitors from that verse and/or Danny himself. Same thing goes for leaving the compound to explore the Realms.

All the adoption addicts from across the multiverse take one look at Danny, listen to all the rumors about his parents and go “Mine!”. Luckily for Danny he doesn’t really have to to worry to much, doesn’t even notice really, because 2.3 seconds after they did that they all turned to each other and went “No! Not yours, Mine!” The infighting has kept them busy ever sense. However, according to an ancient, sacred prophecy(something that Clockwork mentioned in passing 2 months ago) they will eventually all decide that Danny having a proper support network is more important then who his favorite supporter is. So he’s going to get parented so hard by all three hundred and eighty of them. More moms, dads, ma’s, pa’s aunts and uncles then he’ll know what to do with.

[meowmeowmeowmeow4x]

Dark Blue Moon and the Suffering Sun Part 18

This chapter breaks our record at 3.3k words :O

comment and reblog!

MASTAPOST

Damian awoke from sleep. He felt his body squish underneath the weight of Danny’s. The older boy had insisted the previous night, citing Damian’s body being unable to regulate temperature in the cold water at night. This had Damian begrudgingly agree to this arrangement, although he had made his displeasure very clear.

He tried to push down the comfort it brought him. Tried to focus on other things.

Like the fact that he was riding a whale. An entire whale. He even had a harness tied to his waist to stop him drifting behind, the rope wrapping gently around the mammal’s fins and around its body snugly.

This moment? This moment right here was the highlight of his young life. Unconsciously, his chest rumbled and purred as his heart pounded with affection for the beautiful creature.

The whale called out to its pod. It seemed the boys had landed on the largest of the pod, a female (he had checked) and likely the mother of the younger members. Damian rubbed the whale’s skin in soothing circles, its blubber smooth to the touch. There, there, big girl. You are doing an exemplary job.

Each stroke of the whale’s body, undulating through the sea send small shockwaves down Damian’s lateral line, a testament to the size and power of the world’s largest animals (although not the largest organism. That title belonged to Pando). After a while, the rhythm settled into Damian’s bones, like a second heartbeat.

He would have to paint this moment when he got home.

Damian looked behind him. Danny was still out cold after the extensive swimming they had done. It was worth it, though. If Damian’s estimates were correct, they were only a week or less away from Panama. Danny’s swimming speed was nothing short of incredible. It was almost like he was intangible, gliding through the waves with barely a hint of water resistance. Damian had feared it would take a month or longer to get to Panama, considering a dolphin’s long-distance swim speed was only around ten miles an hour, but Danny’s celestial navigation suggested they’d covered about seven hundred miles by the time they hitched a ride with the whales.

Panama was so close… From there it would be smooth sailing, or swimming.

Until then?

Damian untied the rope harness. How many of his family could claim to swim alongside a pod of whales? Using his small, streamlined body, Damian launched off the leader’s body, and dashed in front of her. Despite himself, he gave her a small wave. The whale cooed. Despite not understanding her call, Damian could feel a wave of affection, like a caress through the water.

Damian glanced back at Danny, still fast asleep and snoring. Good.

Looking back at the whale, he focused on their deep, bellowing tones. Opening his mouth, Damian repeated the call as best he could, although it sounded much, much higher pitched than the original.

Much to his surprise, the pod leader called back. Damian smiled in a rare unfiltered grin. The whale answered him!

That was it. He needed to learn to speak whale at the soonest possible convenience. This was of the utmost importance. As a regular human, his vocal cords could never hope to reproduce the calls of a whale, but as a siren, a unique opportunity was granted to him. And he would take it, as befitting his bloodline.

As he contemplated how he would proceed with this plan, his fins slackened, and he found himself lagging behind as the leader swam past him. Damian watched in awe as her shadow fell over his body. He trailed underneath her white underbelly, catching the currents cast by her massive fins, and counted the colonies of barnacles occupying them.

He swam back to circle around the other members of her pod. The baby whales (there were babies too!) crooned to him, and he responded in turn, not sure of what it meant, but wholeheartedly delighting in taking part of a world he’d once considered closed off to him.

A mischievous baby, one he christened Dorothy, bumped him with her nose. The force sent him rearing back. He took a moment to rebalance himself, before she came back for more, playfully nudging him. Hah! Two could play that game. Damian bopped her on the nose, then dashed away. Dorothy gave chase, but Damian was smaller and nimbler.

He twirled in the water, diving underneath an older whale’s belly as Dorothy nipped at his tail. He went up and over the elder’s back. Damian dashed underneath the larger whale’s dorsal fin. Peeking stealthily over the edge, he spotted Dorothy in a state of apparent confusion as his seeming disappearance into thin air, or water.

Serves her right for challenging a master of stealth.

Damian’s lateral line spiked. He turned around just in time to spot a second baby coming for him. Damian tutted. What an amateur. He would have to show them how to properly chase a target. Using his vertical mobility, he launched upward and out of the way. Dorothy spotted him again, and continued her pursuit. Now with two pursuers, and more joining in, Damian laughed gleefully as he led them in twists and turns, using the larger adults as obstacle courses, much to their chagrin. At least that was what he assumed the annoyed-sounding squeaks were.

As much of a fast learner as Damian was, however, he was still new to his body. Damian’s fins flexed at the wrong angle, and his arms bend too far forward, causing him to overshoot his left turn. The green and golden siren crashed head first into the pod leader, briefly floating belly up as stars flashed in his vision.

Immediately the babies descended upon him. Dorothea nudged his body with her nose, sending him floating into her friend, who passed him to another baby just as quickly. Soon the babies formed a circle as they passed Damian’s limp body between them like a game of volleyball. Their actions unfortunately only exacerbated his dizziness, and after a few rounds, Damian was about to test whether sirens could vomit underwater.

A striking croon filled the water, causing Damian’s fins to spike up. However, it seemed the call wasn’t for him, as the baby whales scattered and returned to their parents. Dorothea chittered and gave him one last bump before returning to her own mother’s side.

Damian slowly regained his faculties. He shook off the last of the nausea. That could have been dangerous. They were wild animals, and could have seriously injured him. His father would have been furious.

And he wanted to do it again.

“Yo, Damian!” Danny’s voice called out.

Damian flipped his tail and returned to their miniature mobile campsite in a blur. Danny was snacking on some fish from their last raid. Damian frowned. Their food stashes were already running low.

“Breakfast?” Danny offered him a bundle of seaweed, or kelp. It had a pale yellow colour and sported round sacks along its stems, like bladderwrack.

Damian poked warily at the plant matter. They did not pack this in their supplies. “What is this?”

“It’s sargassum. Plant stuff that floats on the surface. Come try it!”

Damian squinted. He found his stomach stronger than it was as a human, capable of eating untreated raw fish (as much as he would rather not) without so much as a stomach ache.

Damian look a strip of sargassum, feeling the texture between webbed fingers. It was slightly slimy, but soft. He poked one of the bladders, causing its air bubble to pop and float to the surface. As he thought.

“If you’re not gonna eat that, I will. I just swam 700 freaking miles and I’m staaaarving.” Danny whined, a childish gesture.

Damian threw it down the hatch. It tasted… salty (but what didn’t taste salty in the ocean?). The texture was tolerable enough. It was no Caesar salad, or Pennyworth’s casserole, but it would do.

“Hand it over.” Damian gestured for the rest of the plant, and his companion obliged.

Damian chewed absentmindedly as he watched Danny unfurl the map they had ‘acquired’ from the Atlanteans. “So we’re somewhere here.” Danny pointed to a spot in the middle of the blue sea, just off the coast of California. “If we keep going south, we’ll be in Mexican waters, and then it’s smooth swimming to Panama.”

A lump of air pushed up his throat. Damian burped. The beginnings of a snicker were on Danny’s face. The smaller boy held his head high, choosing the high road this time, and maintaining dignity.

“As you were saying?”

“AHEM.” Danny coughed. “We’ve got a bit of a food problem.”

He held up the satchels that they had been using to store their provisions. It was worse than Damian had thought. The bags were practically empty, with maybe a snack and a half between all of them.

He chewed on another stalk of sargassum. Its bubbles popped in his mouth and exited through his nose.

“You cannot swim long distances without sustenance.” Energy could not come from nowhere, after all. The same rules applied for many metas, especially the infamous Flash family. They had left their last stop with bundles of supplies, quickly consumed in the matter of hours.

“We need to hunt again.” Danny concluded. “And get some more seaweed.”

Tut. Damian’s fins drooped a fraction of an inch. It was a shame to leave the whales behind already, but they were always going to go off on their separate paths. He just wished they could stay a little longer.

Danny shifted his sitting position. “To be honest, I’m still getting cramps in my tail. 700 miles.” He said breathlessly. “I never knew I had it in me.”

“So our goal is to recuperate, and resupply.” More quality time with the whales! A couple air bubbles slid out from underneath his gills, the ticklish sensation sending him shuddering.

“Yeah pretty much. Now if you don’t mind me, I’m gonna take another nap.” His companion curled up into a large circle, using his tailfin and arms as a pillow, and closed his eyes.

Damian gaped open. “But you just woke up!”

“700 miles, Damian. 700 miles. We can hunt when I wake up.” With that, Danny was out like a light. Even Damian nipping at his sail could not convince the teenager to awaken.

Damian turned around. The baby whales had returned, hovering just out of reach, apparently having been watching the conversation aptly. He supposed this arrangement had its benefits. Damian whistled, and launched off again.

Satellites.

Her parents had fucking satellites.

That answered how they were going to track Danny. Jazz stared wide-eyed at the computer screen on the deck of the SAV, showing a digital rendition of the entire globe. Off the coast California, about a thousand miles south of their current location, a dot blinked black and white. Jazz’s blood went cold. They had her brother’s hydro-signature. They could track him wherever he went. There would be no hiding, except by turning back into a human, but how could she tell him? And how could he accomplish that goal in the middle of the sea?

Jazz could only gape slack-jawed while her father ranted endlessly about their new radar system, a genius innovation created by her mother in just a day. Isn’t she amazing, Brucie? I’ve got the most beautiful, brilliant wife in the world. Just look at the wiring in this baby.

Bruce Wayne nodded dumbly, remaining silent for the most part, occasionally scratching his head and asking a question. He was listening very intently. No one else could hope to endure her father’s rants. She’d seen very strong-willed individuals awkwardly make excuses and shuffle away, only to be roped back in at the last second. No. Bruce Wayne wanted to be here, and he wanted to learn everything he could.

She imagined thousands of drones printed with WE logos scouring the ocean for a scared teenage boy. No Jazz, no catastrophising. She took steady deep breaths, and counted things she could feel with each sensation.

She needed to focus on what she had to power to do right here and right now. The positives: her parents had very wisely chosen not to sell their most useful tech to the GiW. Her mother never trusted them, and her father was still upset at the government organisation for not having recognised them earlier in their career.

That meant no agents in white suits going after her brother, assuming he’d managed to lose them (which was likely).

Her parents also believed she was here to hunt Phantom. That was another positive.

Their new tech had been whipped up in a fever dream-like haze over the course of two days or less.

That meant an easy excuse if any of them malfunctioned.

The bad news? Bruce Wayne could possibly sniff her out, and snitch on her to her parents. That would severely limit her ability to slow them down.

She turned back as her dad began showing off their miniature sonars, eagerly boasting of their range and precision. Bruce Wayne nodded, and asked about their hardware. How they overcame issues with affecting marine life, how they could compact it into such a small case.

That was good news. Arguably. She did not very much like the idea of the world’s richest man funding a crusade against an entire species. But infallible he was not, and all she needed was plausible deniability and a distraction to grant her brother hours. Even days, assuming she even could distract the enigmatic billionaire. There was the very public, very visible himbo dummy persona. What lay underneath the skin was another story entirely.

Then there was the question of how she would even know what to do in the first place. If she just took a wrench and started whacking, it would be made extremely clear who was responsible. If she wasn’t careful, she might even sink the boat. And she refused to put her family in danger. Jazz was going to do this right, and make sure everyone got home safe.

That meant she would need help.

“I’m getting a little dizzy, guys. I’ll head to my room if that’s ok.” She told the conversing men. Their goodbyes floated in the space behind her, distant to her ears.

She entered her little cabin in the SAV. Well, it was her and Danny’s, but for now she was alone. Jazz closed the door shut and locked it. The cabin consisted of a comfortable bunkbed and two desks for the both of them, as well as a (heavily reinforced) window looking out into the vast blue sea. Although not as densely decorated as her room at Fentonworks, it still carried personal affects dotting around its shelves and walls. A picture of Danny’s first beach day here. A photo of them fishing in Hawaii there. An old scented candle sat at the desk, a relic from when she’d tried to get the smell of fish off the SAV when she was ten.

Jazz had no time to waste. Her mother had noted off-handedly that they were already going a hundred miles an hour. That was insane. They’d catch up with Danny within the day.

Jazz calmed her nerves, and collected herself. She swept the room for bugs and listening devices, something her father had taught her once to ward off the feds. Something told her the screaming IRS agent running away from her house did that plenty, but that was neither here nor there. Once done, she threw the sheets off the bunk beds. The mattresses came off and found a new place shoved up against the wall. As sound-proofed as she could make her room, Jazz recited opening lines in her head.

She pulled out her phone, and dialed. It was time to bust the hatch open.

“Hello?”

“Hello Mrs Foley!”

“Jazz! It’s great to hear from you. I’m so sorry about Danny, I-”

Jazz cut her off. “Actually, about that. Can I please speak to Tucker? I’d like to have a word with him.”

A pause. “Sweetie. Tucker’s been grounded until further notice.” Mrs Foley’s voice ground out at the last two words. It didn’t seem pretty for Danny’s friends.

“I know, but this is urgent.” Jazz stressed.

“He supported Phantom, Jazz. My baby boy committed computer crime for that monster. I just- I just don’t know what’s going on. No. Tucker needs to serve his punishment. And then after- after- after that I don’t know.”

“I know you’re in shock, Mrs Foley. So am I. But have you considered that he might be in grief, too?”

The line went quiet.

“Danny isn’t just my little brother. He’s Tucker’s best friend in the whole world. Tucker’s an honorary little brother to me. Doesn’t he deserve to know what’s going on with him?”

Mrs Foley took a moment of silent deliberation, and sighed. “You’ve got a way with words, Jazz. Fine. I’ll call him down.”

“Oh, and Mrs Foley? Can we have a bit of privacy as well? I think Tucker will need some space for this conversation.”

A minute later, Tucker showed up as promised. “Oh sweet technology. How I’ve missed you so…”

He sounded tired. Incredibly tired, despite his open relief about being able to touch a phone. Not only that, but it sounded inauthentic. Almost performative. “Tucker, stop caressing the phone. I have news about Danny.”

Tucker’s breath hitched. “Do you know where he is?”

Jazz took a deep breath, forcing her shoulders to relax. The moment of truth. “I know what happened to him.”

“Jazz I swear Phantom had nothing to do with it, you gotta-,”

“No Tucker. I’m talking about six months ago.” Jazz looked behind her, listening for any footsteps outside her door. “I saw him in the water three months ago. I saw him changing.”

Her brother’s life was at stake. She chose her words very, very carefully, as vague as possible.

Tucker gasped. “W-what do you mean? D-Danny goes swimming all the time. Wait a minute-”

The line went dead. Panic threatened to tilt Jazz off course. Did she just blow her only chance? No. Think rationally. Tucker was a smart kid. A genius with tech. He probably realised anyone could listen in on his house’s landline. That boy went through PDAs like old clothes; he had to have a few burners spare.

Her phone rang again, and Jazz could have cried in relief.

“What are you gonna do with Danny’s secret?” Tucker hissed, accusation plainly audible.

“My parents have a radar to track him across the world. They have a dozen new weapons to fire on him with. They have an engine that can accelerate the SAV to a max speed of 200 miles an hour. I need you to tell me how to sabotage each and every one of them.”

Tucker choked on the line. “You s-serious?” He said, nakedly vulnerable, like she was about to pull the rug out at the last moment.

“Danny’s my little brother. I’d do anything for him. And I’ve always critiqued my parents’ obsessions as unhealthy. Tucker, I don’t know what half of this stuff does. You’re my only hope. You’re Danny’s only hope.”

Her honorary little brother gulped. When he spoke next, it was like his resolve had been dipped in liquid steel. “I’m right on it.”

She heard thunderous clacking through the line. It looked like Mrs Foley’s punishment was not as airtight as the woman thought it was…

[piratekane]

7! Ava telling Bea that🫠🫠

seven: look at me. just breathe.

Ava looks small. She always has, despite feeling larger than life. But in a wide hospital bed with wires running from her body to the various beeping machines, she looks smaller than she did before she slipped through the Arc.

Before you sent her through it.

Beatrice stands at the edge of the doorway, wringing her hands as Jillian flutters around Ava with purposeful hands. Ava looks tired, but impossibly cheerful as Jillian puts another electrode pad on her exposed skin. She keeps stealing glances at the doorway, keeps ducking her head to meet Beatrice’s eyes, and always frowning a little when Beatrice gives nothing away. 

She’s afraid to step forward, afraid to meet Ava’s eyes. What if this is a dream? What if she’s fallen asleep and woken up in a dream world where everything has magically fallen into place? Ava escaping Reya’s realm the moment Beatrice crosses the threshold of Cat’s Cradle? It’s too… perfect. It slots together too neatly. 

She can’t cross the threshold because she might wake up in a hotel room somewhere - Cinque Terre, Faro, Lisbon - and this has all been a trick of the mind, a quiet torturous place her mind has found.

“Beatrice?”

Jillian touches her arm gently, trying not to startle her. Beatrice holds onto herself, a sharp inhale the only thing that gives her surprise away. But either Jillian doesn’t hear or she’s too kind to bring attention to it. She simply gives Beatrice a kind smile and slight tilt of her head. A quiet, she’s asking for you.

Beatrice searches for the part of her that’s always stood tall in the face of adversity. It wasn’t always there, grown out of a necessity, but it activates now as she takes that first step into the room on feet that feel steadier than her heart does. The live wire edge in her chest fizzles a little when she sees the way Ava’s face lights up as she moves closer and her hesitation simply vanishes.

Ava smiles wider. “Hi.”

Hi feels too small. Hey feels too informal. I’ve been thinking of you every minute of every day for the last nine months and you’re a ghost haunting all of my waking moments and sleeping ones too and I think I’ve been waiting for you my whole life feels too big.

She settles for a quiet, “Hello.”

Ava’s nose wrinkles. “Hello,” she echoes, pitching her voice slightly deeper. A clumsy attempt at mimicking her accent. She blinks up at Beatrice expectantly. “Anything else?” she asks after a moment.

“You’re back.” Everything else she wants to say sticks in her throat.

“I am.” Ava tips her head curiously, keen eyes studying her. Beatrice wonders if she sees the new highlights in her hair, the added years Beatrice sees when she looks at herself in the mirror. “I mean, I wasn’t expecting a party, or anything. Maybe a banner or a cupcake. Though, I get that it was kind of an impromptu arrival and there wasn’t a lot of time to plan. I mean, it’s not like you guys have a ‘Welcome Back to Earth’ banner on hand, right?” She pauses again. “I was expecting more than hello, though.”

Restraint, Beatrice, her mother used to tell her. Show some restraint. When she spoke out of turn, became too excited - it was always whip-sharp eyes in her direction, reminding her to practice some self-discipline. Ava, on the other end of the long spectrum between what is expected and what isn’t, is the least restrained person Beatrice has ever met.

Beatrice, months separated from Ava’s influence, struggles to find a middle ground. 

“Seriously.” Ava laughs. She sounds nervous. “They didn’t, like, replace you with a pod person or anything, did they?” Her eyes widen. “Is this some kind of alternate reality where people are different? Are you really Beatrice? Or are you her evil twin? Is this world run by toads? I had a dream once where there was a toad king who demanded we all speak in ribbits. Or is it croaks? Hey, can you look up the sound toads make? I think I missed that science lesson.”

“Ava,” Beatrice breathes. Fond exasperation is easy to fall into.

Ava grins rakishly. “Ah, there she is.”

Beatrice opens her mouth to scold her, to tell Ava that she’s not as funny as she thinks she is, but she’s horrified when a single sob loosens from somewhere in the back of her throat and explodes into the space between them. 

They both look startled at the sound, but Ava recovers quicker than she does. She curses softly when she tries to move, wires tangling up around her wrists. She starts to try and move them out of her way, her legs swinging over the side of the bed as she starts to inch towards Beatrice. She looks up, forehead pulled together in frustration. “Hold- just hold on.”

Beatrice claps her hand down over her mouth, trying to stop the next horrible sound that comes out of it. She holds out her other hand, trying to tell Ava to stay back. No, no, no. This isn’t how this was supposed to go.

Ava curses again, louder and in Portuguese this time, as another wire comes undone and loops its way around her arm instead. “I swear to fucking God and all her shitty decisions that if this thing doesn’t- Ha!” She wiggles out of one wire, then a second. She smiles triumphantly at Beatrice but that wrinkle in her forehead hasn’t faded away.

Something starts beeping as Ava disconnects the next wire. There’s a moment where they both stand, suspended as they wait for Ava to suddenly collapse onto the floor, that one wire the only thing keeping her up. But nothing comes and Ava must decide that it’s the all-clear; she starts pulling at wires until they disconnect, creating a cacophony of noise that feels like a mis-paced symphony.

“Hold on, hold on,” Ava is muttering as she pulls the last wire free. She’s suddenly in front of Beatrice, hands out in front of her carefully. “Hey, Bea.”

Beatrice’s eyes dart around the room. It’s starting to narrow to a pinprick, the lights spinning around. Ava is the only thing staying still, her focal part as the rest of the room rushes in on her. Another sob starts to build in her throat but it gets stuck there, forming into a hard knot that makes it hard to swallow around.

Breathe, she tells herself. Just take a breath.

“Look at me. Just breathe,” Ava says quietly. She takes a hesitant step forward. “I think- Bea, I think you’re having a panic attack.”

Beatrice tries to shake her head. She tries, but she’s not sure that she does. Her body feels far away, like she’s swimming underwater from one end of an endless pool to the other. The beeping of the machines distorts into a heartbeat, but that might just be the blood rushing in her ears. She tries to inhale and chokes on that knot.

“Okay, just follow my voice.” Ava sounds closer, but Beatrice can’t quite say how close she is. The room is starting to stretch out like a funhouse mirror. “Bea, uh, okay. Okay. I’m going to touch you. I know, you might freak out. But I’m going to put my hands on your hands, okay? Just like… just like this.”

She feels something cool and soft land on the wrist of her outstretched arm. It becomes a focal point. She focuses all of her energy there, all of her remaining senses rush to the spot where Ava’s fingertips curl around her pulse point.

Ava makes a noise that sounds like a hum just under the hot whistle of air in Beatrice’s ears. “Good. Now the other hand.”

Another cool hand touches hers, pulling it away from her mouth. She lets her world dial down to just the feather-light touch of Ava’s hand tangling with hers, lets herself focus in on the soft pads of Ava’s fingers running over the silvery scars on her hands. Each brush against her knuckle breaks down the knot in her throat until she can take in a ragged breath, then another, then one more.

The world begins to expand again - light filtering back in, the beeping stretching out into its asynchronous rhythm, the slightly sterile smell of clean cotton on the hospital bed. She focuses all of her attention on Ava, though. On the soft soothing noises Ava is making, the heat coming off her body as she gets closer, the strange patterns Ava is rubbing into her wrist.

“Hey,” Ava says quietly in the spaces between the beeping. “Hey, there you are.”

“I’m sorry,” she croaks, graceless.

Ava’s eyes are wide, but kind as they come into focus. Beatrice could count the inches between them on two hands. “You don’t need to apologize. I don’t think either of us expected this.”

“I should have.” She inhales again, the exhale a little steadier. “I should have been expecting this.”

“Beatrice, I mean this in the nicest way.” Ava ducks her head just a little, meeting her gaze directly. “This is a compliment, okay? You are not perfect. You cannot anticipate everything. And you shouldn’t be expected to do that. So it’s okay, alright? It’s okay that you didn’t anticipate some scientific marvel spitting me back into reality. I think I can forgive you for that, hmm?”

“Okay,” she whispers, not believing it entirely. But Ava looks so convincing, she lets the idea sit and tries to believe it could be true. “I’m-”

“Don’t apologize,” Ava says quickly. “This is a no-sorry party. Apologies department is closed for… the rest of eternity. No need to leave a message.” She strokes her thumb against the back of Beatrice’s hand before her eyes widen in mock-surprise. “Maybe this is an alternate reality where I’m not funny anymore.”

“Your jokes were always mediocre at best,” she manages.

Ava grins. “She speaks. And she lies.” Ava’s expression softens and she pulls until Beatrice can count the inches on one hand now. They’re nearly nose to nose and Beatrice can see the thin skin over Ava’s collarbone, just a little more pronounced this close up. “You’re okay.”

Beatrice takes in a slow, measured breath. “You’re here,” she exhales.

“All 238 bones of me.” Ava’s mouth falls into a serious line. “I’m including teeth, of course.”

She can’t help the laugh that bubbles up from her unexpectedly. Get control of yourself, her mother’s voice hisses. But Ava is looking at her, pleased. It sends her mother to the back of her head, back behind Ava’s smile.

“You had your wisdom teeth removed,” she reminds Ava gently.

Ava’s mouth falls open slightly. “How did you-” Her eyes narrow, but she’s smiling. “No stone unturned for you people, hmm? I bet Sister Frances kept those teeth, too. You know, Diego and I always thought she had some kind of creepy collection of, like, teeth and hair. She seemed the type.” Her fingers start working over Bea’s hands and up towards her elbows as she carefully starts to guide them around her back.

“Ava,” Beatrice tries.

“I don’t know about you,” Ava says quietly. “I don’t know how long it’s been since-”

“Too long,” Beatrice breathes. Eight months, twenty-three days, and somewhere around three hours, she doesn’t say out loud.

“But it’s been even longer for me,” Ava finishes. “And, I’ll be honest, okay? I really missed Mother Superion and Camila and, yeah, okay, parts of Lilith. But you were the only thing that kept me going. So I’m going to hug you and you’re going to hug me and then I’m going to pass out, if that’s okay with you?”

Beatrice startles a little, their forehead nearly knocking as she grabs Ava tightly and holds her against her body. Ava seems to sigh into the hug, her forehead dropping into the curve of Beatrice’s neck, her hands gripping the back of Beatrice’s shirt tight enough to crease the carefully ironed fabric. She grows heavy nearly instantly and Beatrice almost sways under the sudden weight.

“I’m-”

“Shut up,” Ava murmurs. Beatrice feels the words more than she hears them. “Just, be quiet, okay? I’ve been imagining this for years.”

Years, she thinks. But she goes quiet again, pressing her lips to Ava’s hair. She breathes in something bleach-like, like the ozone burning. She carefully inches forward, Ava’s abandoned bed her destination. She can hear her heart beating against her rib cage, but Ava’s own heart seems to be answering in its own language.

She starts to loosen her grip on Ava, intending to convince her that she should lay back down, let Beatrice reattach all of the wires monitoring her vitals, let Beatrice go and find Jillian to make sure they didn’t mess everything up. But when she goes to loosen her grip, Ava hangs on.

“Don’t,” Ava whispers. “Don’t let go yet.”

Beatrice holds on tighter; doesn’t tell Ava she has no intention of ever letting go again.

[icyhottodo]

oblivious

genre: fluff, slight angst, f2l | pairing: shoto x gn reader

summary: you suddenly gain a secret admirer, and for the first time you see shoto, your childhood best friend suddenly drifts from you. why could this be?

warnings: food, jealousy, insecurity, reader not eating (doesn't go in-depth), mentions of endeavor and his questionable parenting, slight mention of injuries (like children doing dumb stuff) 

wc: 5.3k>

nini’s notes: i’m kind of bad at intros and transitions T-T, so i hope this is decent! this was supposed to be a shoto secret admirer au but idk what happened…. happy valentines day!

you and shoto are two peas in a pod, both of you being glued to the hip basically since birth. even though shoto was not allowed to make friends throughout his infant years, he was lucky to meet you. you’re the child of a parent who is really good friends with endeavor. so endeavor made an exception and allowed shoto to make friends with you. 

you don't remember how your first encounter with him went, but you held your precious memories of having sleepovers at the todoroki’s or even baking cakes with his mother with the dual-haired man. 

-

shoto and you randomly decided to make a christmas red velvet-themed cake since the holiday was coming right around the corner. having shoto’s mother, rei go a quick trip to the grocery store for box cake mix, funfetti frosting, and christmas sprinkles just for the two of you.

still being seven years old, shoto decided not to read the instructions, declaring that baking wouldn’t be fun if they were to follow the rules. so shoto went for it, with no thought. he poured the cake mix onto the bowl until there wasn’t a single drop of cake mix left. afterward, he grabbed a carton of milk and two eggs from the fridge. todoroki gave you the two eggs for you to crack while he would randomly pour the milk, only stopping until he seemed content with the texture of the batter.

todoroki looked up to gaze at you, he quickly noticed a smidge of the red cake mix on the corner of your lips as a result of you grabbing a finger-full of the batter, taste-testing if the cake was good or not. when shoto got the thumbs up from you, he held up the bowl and poured the batter onto what it seems, multiple small heart-shaped cake molds.

now you see, rei would have bought a christmas themed cake mold, like a santa or even a tree-baking dish but shoto was too persistent on using heart-shaped ones.

shoto’s mother watched over the two of you to make sure you two wouldn’t light the house on fire or whatever the sort. although, she was not stopping shoto when he poured an unnecessary amount of three cups of milk when he wasn't supposed to. she was smiling fondly at the scene until in a blink of an eye, the kitchen and especially both you and shoto were almost fully covered with the cake batter. rei sighed at the mess that she would have to clean up later, but she quickly covered her face with a fond smile at both kids, who were wearing wide toothy smiles. as long as you two were having fun rei supposed.

“here you go y/n!” he exclaimed.

shoto proudly presented his decoration, what he showed you was one of the heart cakes. he previously refused to let you see one of the cakes he was decorating earlier, despite your constant trials to see what he was doing when you thought he was letting his guard down to only be disappointed. you audibly gasped at the surprise, feeling touched that todoroki made a special cake just for you.

there was only one color of frosting, a red frosting which had an even base coating, covering the whole cake. on top of the cake had white lettering with yellow and green sprinkles that were scattered all over the small cake. the words said nothing else aside from your name and the cute white hearts around your name.

feeling grateful for shoto’s small surprise, you carefully grabbed the cake in hopes of not dropping shoto’s carefully-made cake and excitedly kissed him on the cheek. making shoto flush bright red from your actions– nonetheless, grinning ear to ear.

“thank you todo!”

-

to shoto, you were his other half, he would always come to you whenever his father was being strict (more like abusive) like usual or if anything in the world was troubling him… or maybe he just wanted some attention from you. you are everything to him, so shoto always tries to protect you from anything that might hurt you, even the tiniest bit.

like this one time– you, todoroki, and a few other classmates were working on an art project back in your previous middle school. the project had to deal with crafting a building the class was learning about, so a hot glue gun was needed at this time. one of your classmates was gluing two pieces of cardboard together when somehow he accidentally dropped the glue gun, which coincidentally fell on your hands, the tip of the hot glue gun touching your bare skin.

while a glue gun may not be too hot for an adult, the glue gun still burned you as a child at that time, not having much heat tolerance. you hear your classmate profusely apologize for accidentally burning you, but you were too focused on the pain you just experienced, wincing in pain in response to their apologies.

“here, let me help you with that.” you hear shoto’s gentle voice as he walks up next to you.

todoroki used his ice quirk to cool the minor injury you were feeling. instantly, the pain along with the heat was gone, the only reminisce of anything odd was the small ice covering up the tiny burn. when todoroki saw a glimpse of pain on your face, he would never want you to experience such an emotion ever again. even though it was a minor injury.

-

you soon grew up crushing on shoto todoroki, your best friend. you think your infatuation started at the ripe age of eleven when you started your small crush on your best friend. 

it was like any normal day in your bedroom, shoto was laying down on your lap while scrolling through his phone and you were watching your favorite show on the television. you ran your fingers through his fluffy two-color hair, the soothing movements made todoroki slowly start to fall asleep. his breathing going lighter as each second passed, his body becoming limp in your arms.

“you hungry shoto?” you asked delicately, still running your fingers through his hair.

when you didn't receive an answer, you looked down and noticed him sleeping. you smiled fondly at the sight, he trusted you so much to fall asleep on you. you soon found yourself staring at his features. his eyebrows are finally relaxed, compared to when he was awake, somehow always looking slightly angry despite his neutral stance. his slightly chubby cheeks were reducing each year you two grow older. and finally, his soft– yet still-chapped lips were parted slightly due to his slumber. slowly but surely, you started to lean closer and closer until you could feel his warm breath on your lips.

no. you stopped yourself. you shouldn’t do this, you shouldn't be thinking about kissing your best friend, especially when he's asleep. especially when you two are barely even eleven years old for goodness sake!

you reeled yourself away, deciding to gently kiss him instead. so you pecked a kiss on the left side of his forehead. when you are done, you start to lightly pull his body onto your pillow, making sure your soft blanket fully covers him. you slowly close your door to try not to wake up. when you were out of earshot, you briskly started walking to the kitchen. trying to find food to take your mind off your best friend and what had almost happened in that room. 

with that, your little crush quickly turned into an extremely huge crush, maybe even bordering the line of love. but you care for him, especially after all the traumatic events he went through. (not that you would care less if he hadn't gone through such things.) you shouldn't… you can’t confess to him, you wouldn’t dare risk losing your best friend. so you suppress your feelings for the calm man, content with being just friends with him.

-

once shoto heard the door close, he shot his eyes open instantly. 

what just happened? was all todoroki could think about. he can feel himself turn red with his interaction with you. were you just about to kiss him? your kiss on his scar? he felt his heart beat faster, todoroki was in denial. no that's just how they are. get over it shoto.

with that shoto went back to sleep, feeling inside giddy with his thoughts of you possibly kissing him.

-

a few years later, both you and shoto todoroki were able to land a spot at ua high school. coincidentally sharing the same hero course. shoto couldn’t live without you being in the same class as him.

todoroki, almost-aggressively opened the door to class 1-a, not purposely but he accidentally made his presence known. he instantly turned shy, he was not expecting all 1-a classmates’ eyes on him but quickly covered his flustered-ness up. shoto gestured for you to walk inside first to cover up his slight embarrassment. when you walked in, you felt an instant breeze, making you shiver. today at the u.a academy seems particularly colder than usual. you rubbed your arms together frantically while todoroki followed you shortly after.

“todo, is it just me, or is it freezing here?” 

you look around for your classmates, trying to see if anyone else was cold or if you were just crazy. luckily, you weren't, everyone else seemed to be freezing or even just slightly cold. that is, until you looked next to you, your best friend who seemed perfectly fine.

lucky. he can control being cold and hot. i wish. you thought in despair. without saying a word, todoroki took off his uniform jacket and placed it on top of your shoulders, so now you were wearing his sweater.

“stay on my left side,” he said, intertwining one of your hands, pulling you to his fire quirk side. 

he still did not pull his hand away even after he moved you to his warmer side. you were embraced by his warmth and immediately smelled a woody minty smell from the jacket he lent you. you felt your face heat up at his gesture, looking away at his boring heterochromatic eyes.

“thanks, todo.” you felt you were about to grin, but you fake coughed to try to cover up your smile.

these fleeting moments with todoroki shortly fled as you saw some of your classmates surround your desk. you were curious about what had happened until you saw a handmade paper rose and a small paper note on your designated desk.

a pretty flower for a pretty person. -s

s? you thought. the thoughts and feelings of the class being cold were instantly gone. there are a lot of people who have the letter s, whether it may be their first or last name. shinsou from general studies? mezo shoji or hanta sero, both being in the same class as you? heck, maybe even sensei shota aizawa. (although, that will be highly concerning. as he is your homeroom teacher.)

but who you instantly thought and kept coming back to who might be your new secret admirer is your best friend, shoto. he has the letter s in his name as well. although, those thoughts that the secret admirer might even be him, quickly shut down as your insecurities got the better of you. why would he ever like me?

“woahhh! y/n has a secret admirer! our y/n!” denki announced to the classroom.

everyone interested in your sudden love interest, let out a long ooh. (which was shortly stopped since katsuki bakugo yelled out “shut up you damn extras!”) your second closest friend, ochaco uraraka squealed and shook your shoulders.

“this is so cute! i wonder who it is from?” she exclaimed. her face and presence beaming at you, clearly excited about your potential love life.

once she lets you go, you reread the note over and over again. you were trying to decipher if you can recognize the penmanship or come up with who else has an s on their name.

your eyes glanced at todoroki who was still beside you. he was staring blankly at your small surprise like what he usually does, but this time his expression seemed a little different. what is he thinking about? normally, you would be able to read what he is thinking, shoto is usually an open book for you; suddenly becoming clouded, you didn't know whether to be concerned or not.

“i hope you guys aren't chatting when the class has already started.” your homeroom teacher, aizawa suddenly appeared in front of the class wearing his usual yellow sleeping bag. 

his strained eyes, messy black hair, and a slightly raspy voice. aizawa is not meant to take jokingly. you blinked once and everyone was in their seats, as if they never left it from the start, including you. aizawa took off his sleeping bag and started instructing.

“okay class, you will….” aizawa’s voice slowly faded as you were going into your daydream like usual. you stared at your flower and note.

pulling your daydreams away, you once again decided to look at your desk partner, todoroki who was already looking at you. flustered, you broke eye contact hastily, deciding it was better to focus on today’s agenda. too bad you looked away too fast because if you were to look one second longer, you would see todoroki’s slight smile and blush painted on his face. you caught him staring at you.

-

“class dismissed,” aizawa sensei announced, already putting on his yellow sleeping bag, ready to sleep on the spot.

“i'm so glad class is over!” 

uraraka came up to you before you or shoto even had a chance to go up to one another. you nodded, smiling when uraraka linked arms with you.

“i need to use the restroom! come with me please,” she asked, already pulling you away. knowing you're going to agree anyways.

you turned back at shoto, giving him a look, wordlessly saying you'll be back. shoto gave you a small smile, nodding. letting you know it is okay to go hang out with your other friends once in a while.

the walk to the girls' restroom is a bit short, the bathroom only being at the end of the hallway. while walking, uraraka decided to talk about your unexpected secret admirer.

“you know, if your secret admirer ever reveals themselves, i feel like todoroki would get protective of you.” she suddenly brings up a conversation about shoto.

“what?” you turned to the brown hair girl, looking extremely confused.

“why would sho be so protective of me?” 

you raised an eyebrow at your friend, questioning what she just commented. you thought that sho would be indifferent to the situation, like how he always is. 

“what do you mean sho will be protective?” you continued your questions, your curiosity getting the better of you.

“babe… you two act like lovesick high school sweethearts. when you're without him, he acts like a lost puppy looking for his owner. i feel like he would feel left out if your secret admirer ever decided to reveal themself.” she comments, while turning to look at you.

you two reach the women’s bathroom and uraraka walks in while you wait outside. you leaned against the wall, allowing you to gather your thoughts.

do we act like a couple? you didn't think anything was weird about your friendship with todoroki, you thought that your relationship with shoto is the same as any other friendship would be. you start to think back on your memories, trying to see what could have made you two look like a couple.

-

two memories stood out to you. 

one of them was going to every special holiday over the todoroki’s place. 

that day was the lunar new year. like always, you decided to stay over at shoto’s place to celebrate the new year. unlike the chinese tradition, which is to make tons of dumplings from scratch. instead, you and shoto decided to make soba from scratch alternatively.

making soba was quite easy in your opinion, making the uncooked noodles only after a few minutes of mixing the ingredients and making strips out of the dough. 

but suddenly, you feel a hot breath near your neck, making your body hairs stand up from the warmth and the closeness.

“no y/n, you knead the dough like this.” 

shoto’s tall body wrapped around you and hearing his voice so close to your ear made your body stand straight unconsciously. where todoroki positioned himself, it felt like he was embracing you. his hands took over your own to show you how to knead the dough properly, but you weren’t able to focus on shoto’s instructions. instead, you slightly turned your head to look at him. his shampoo scent was filling your nostrils due to him having gotten out of the shower. seeing the drops of water slowly dripping out of his hair, and hearing his steady breath. you felt your heart quickly pound faster, the words he was instructing sounded like music in your ears instead.

with your silence– todoroki noticed how you weren’t paying attention, catching you staring at his face. being placed in this situation felt like hours until todoroki finally decided to break the silence with a forced cough, causing him to pull away from the position he put himself in.

“do you understand?” he gives you his dazzling smile, reminding you of why your heart was beating loudly.

-

and the second memory– sleeping on the same bed when shoto was sleeping over.

shoto would always come to sleep over at your place whenever endeavor would push shoto past shoto’s limits. (and that was quite often.)

that day, shoto seemed even quieter than usual. it was one of the times he would keep whatever happened to himself rather than talk about it. which was okay for you, sometimes shoto would vent or just not talk at all.

soon the sun was quickly turning into nightfall, shoto gets up from your bed and goes to your dresser. he would always have a few extra outfits at your place due to him staying over quite frequently.

you didn’t know why but you felt your heart beat louder and your stomach drop. were you nervous or scared? you shouldn’t be, in the past–you two always shared the same bed when either of you slept over. what's so different about now? maybe it was because you finally realized your crush on shoto? 

wordlessly, shoto walks over to the bathroom once he grabs his pajamas. seeing shoto do this, you too decided to change, getting ready to sleep. choosing to change in your room, locking the door of course.

a short few minutes later, you saw yourself pulling up the covers of your bed up to your face when shoto walked in. quietly trudging over to your bed, shoto lifted your blanket. you saw shoto immediately rest his eyes from the warmth of your bed.

perhaps you should try to sleep like shoto. but no matter how much you tried, you still felt restless, turning your body side to side every five minutes– trying to find a position you were comfortable in. you turned to lean on your left side, where shoto was laying at.

his eyes were already opened, looking at you, “can’t sleep?”

all you did was nod once, causing shoto to wrap his arms around you, with your head in his chest. instantaneously, you felt sleepier and sleepier from shoto’s cuddling.

“you’re such a dork.” you heard a tender voice from shoto before fully falling asleep.

-

“maybe we do act like a couple…” you whispered to yourself in realization.

-

as the second day comes, like always– you would walk into class 1-a with todoroki. and similarly to yesterday, you noticed a little gift on your desk once again. but this time the present was a heart-shaped box of chocolates, with a note on top of your gift. 

this time the note said, ‘these chocolates are almost as sweet as you. -s’ 

the chocolates were surprising to you, these chocolates were your favorite brand of chocolates. you didn’t know how your secret admirer knew you liked this specific type of chocolate brand, but you were touched by how they knew such a little thing about you.

after reading your note, todoroki glanced at you and he noticed you smiling at your gift. honestly, he thought your gift was pretty creepy unless your secret admirer was one of your closest friends, and he doubts that your secret admirer was close to you. perhaps he is slightly jealous but he wouldn’t admit to that.

he crossed his arms and looked at your present with a grimace. before realizing what he was doing, he should be happy for you as your best friend. he felt sick in his stomach, what is this feeling? he thought to himself. shoto didn't like this feeling one bit.

the day goes by quickly like any other day, and shoto found himself laying in his traditional japanese bedroom. he layed in his bed uneasy, todoroki found himself overthinking. 

shoto seeing his best friend gain a sudden love interest felt like a sudden stop in his world. someone had a crush on you? what if you liked them back? what would that mean for him?

wait why am i worrying about this? i don’t like them right? shoto realized he was thinking too much about this situation like any other normal best friend would. shoto suddenly realizes how he started admiring the way you smell. the way your hair perfectly frames your face. how attractive you are and how kind you are to everyone. todoroki is finally realizing that he likes you.

but with that, all of the negative thoughts start to seep into todoroki’s mind. why would you ever like shoto back? perhaps you only thought of him as a childhood best friend. shoto didn’t like feeling overwhelmed with such emotions, he doesn’t want to feel these emotions. deciding it would be better to start avoiding you, in hopes his infatuation with you will die soon.

-

and slowly but surely, shoto starts to avoid you. instead of sitting next to you during lunch, he starts to sit across from you– until he finds excuses to not sit next to you for lunch. saying excuses like “sorry, midoriya needs my help in training. go eat without me. we’ll eat together another day.” but then shoto wouldn’t join you the day after, or the day after that, and the day after that, until he never joins at all.

you only started noticing todoroki’s weird behavior when he starts to walk to class on his own. but you weren't able to talk to him, when he catches sight of you, he would run away in a blink of an eye.

-

once, the 1-a class was sparring and training like normal and aizawa sensei had paired your… ex? best friend and you together. but once todoroki heard you two would be sparring together, shoto starts to put his hand over his stomach, clenching onto his pe uniform. you hear shoto make a small groan to top it all off.

“sensei… i don’t feel so good… perhaps i got food poisoning.” shoto grumbled out, his voice laced with pain.

but you knew he was acting, shoto would never explicitly say he was hurting in any way shape or form. why would he do it now?

hearing this, aizawa raised one of his eyebrows in suspicion but soon after rested his facial features, “alright, stay in your dorm for the rest of the day. but i expect you to participate tomorrow.”

and with that shoto left the gym, you stared at the door shoto left through even though the class had moved on. uraraka noticed this, she patted you on your shoulder giving you a pitiful smile. you sighed, carrying on to today’s lesson, giving uraraka a smile to show you were fine.

were you really fine though?

-

shortly after, you were fed up with shoto’s weird behavior, and you were frustrated. did you do something to hurt todoroki? to make him avoid you at all costs? your other friends start to notice your mood worsen as the weeks pass by with todoroki steer clear of you. you stopped gushing about your secret admirer, just silently putting their presents away in your bag. they finally couldn't stand this situation any longer when uraraka observed that they stopped eating in the cafeteria. 

you looked at your wallpaper– it was you two, smiling happily as shoto has his arm around your shoulders. your eyes start to tear up from this.

you heard a light knocking on your dorm room, hearing this–  you using your sleeves to wipe the tears that were threatening to fall, along with some that had already fallen. you quietly cleared your throat in hopes that your voice was normal and not raspy.

“come in.” you curtly said.

you see uraraka gently opening the door, holding a tray of your favorite comfort food to eat when you are feeling down, and she smiles at you. seeing this sight, your eyes quickly start to tear up once again, as if you never wiped your tears in the first place.

“i noticed you stopped eating. so i was starting to get worried, you wanna talk about it?” uraraka spoke, walking up to you to hug you after putting down the tray of food on a table.

“u-uraraka-” you stuttered, feeling the hot tears start to fall, fastly at that.

your knees felt wobbly until you fell on your knees onto the floor of your bedroom. uraraka falling gently with you.

“i miss him uraraka. i miss shoto so much and it hurts so badly.” you vented out, feeling uraraka softly patted you letting you know she was intently listening to you.

“did i hurt him in any way? did i say something hurtful? i don’t know but i miss my friend, shoto avoiding me feels like half of me was ripped apart.”

after ranting about todoroki to ochaco uraraka some more, you became tired from crying for so long and so hard.

-

now, uraraka isn’t the type of person to make a scene or spill her friend’s secrets, even if she felt the slightest bit of anger. so when she tucked you in your bed, she immediately stormed out of your room, and briskly walked to one of the men’s dorms, more specifically shoto todoroki’s room. with only one thing she is determined to do, and that is to give your best friend a piece of her mind.

todoroki looked up from the book he was currently reading when he heard harsh yet soft knocks to not wake anyone else up. shoto stood up from his tatami floor to open the door for his unexpecting guest.

“oh uraraka, why are you here?” todoroki queried, holding on to the door, still inside his room.

“may i go inside? it is a private matter and i don’t want anyone else to hear us.” uraraka spoke with a straight face, trying to not let the emotions get the better of her.

shoto moved behind the door and made space for uraraka to enter his room. wasting no time, uraraka went straight to the point of the reason why she was here.

“what is y/n to you?” uraraka questioned, narrowing her eyes at the dual quirk boy.

the said boy’s eyes widened, not expecting uraraka to mention you. he looked out the window, scratching his nape.

“they're my closest friend.” shoto didn’t particularly lie, he just didn't entirely tell the truth.

uraraka leaned closer to see any signs of deception or nervousness, she was still suspicious.

“look me in the eyes and say that again.” she ordered, still not convinced that all shoto thought of you, was just a close friend.

shoto got a bad feeling. he felt like if he were to lie again, he would dig an even deeper hole than he was already in.

“i think- i think i like them more than friends. but it’s complicated.” shoto hesitantly confessed, finally looking at the brown-haired girl, but still not making eye contact with her.

“man, you two are extremely oblivious sometimes.” uraraka let out a breath she didn’t even know she was holding, facepalming herself when she heard your best friend confess his liking towards you.

“do both of us a favor and don’t run away just because you feel emotions.”

with that, uraraka got up from the tatami floor and left without saying another word. oblivious? to what? shoto thought.

when shoto finally decided not to be a wuss about his feelings. the next day, he was going to apologize for his abnormal behavior. that is until you came up to him after class was dismissed and everyone had already left.

“im sorry shoto.” you let out, once you reached his desk.

“i’m not sure what i did but i know it must have been terrible for you to avoid me like this.” you look down at the floor feeling a lot of mixed emotions, shy, sad, and confused.

“i felt terrible these past few months without you todoroki. please, can i have my best friend back?”

he felt a pang of pain in his chest for two reasons, when you said his full last name, unlike saying his nickname which you always insist on saying no matter the circumstances. as well as shoto heard the two words, “best friend.” now is the time. shoto thought, finally deciding on confessing his crush to you, he didn’t want to hurt you or himself anymore.

“i am extremely madly in love with you y/n. it hurts me every time i saw that secret admirer of yours advance to you each day, to see you smile at their gifts. i thought it would be better to leave you alone, but i guess i was wrong. i’m so sorry.”

you were speechless for a while, you thought you were stuck in the friend zone forever, and there he stood. light pink was dusted on his cheeks and he fiddled with his thumbs, although it was concealed as you knew that he didn’t like to show his vulnerability at all. 

waiting for you to respond, he slowly started to show how nervous he was. he cleared his throat and began to open his mouth to say something.

“you don’t have to–”

and there he was, cut off by you, with a kiss. shoto’s heterochromatic eyes widened, seeing your pretty face up close, seeing your eyes closed as you slightly tilt your head to the side to get a feel of shoto’s lips better. you quickly pulled away shortly after with a wide grin plastered on your face.

“i like you too shoto todoroki and i would love to be your significant other.”

shoto can hear the love and endear in your voice when you said his name. he was in disbelief. after all this time, you liked him back. your reciprocation took him a minute to process what you had just said, but when he did a relieved and ecstatic smile started to be made on his face.

“oh also, never call me by my full name ever again.” 

and with that shoto gave you a bone-crushing hug, as if he hasn’t seen you in years. before giving you a passionate kiss on the lips.

i guess uraraka was right, we are both oblivious sometimes.

[whoopseydaisy]

The Overflowing Heart

I will tell you how I made this witch’s token, but you will have to find a way of your own. It is as Grandmother Wren told us,

“Remember always that some portion of magic is yours to wield, and that the world contains many, many truths.”

the recipe:

3/4 oz Kazuki gin

1 1/2 oz. Sake + tea mixture

1 oz. fresh squeezed grapefruit

3/4 oz. Strega

shake over ice, and serve in your finest or favourite tea cup

garnish with dried rose petals

notes:

Sherringham Kazuki gin— a collaboration of one of my favourite distilleries and my favourite local tea shop, Westholme Tea Farm. Made from Japanese cherry blossoms, and locally grown tea leaves with notes of yuzu, grapefruit, and juniper. I first visited Sherringham in a trio of my own, on a day long adventure, visiting a beach someway up the island. Westholme is run by an old coworker of my Aunt’s, and his partner who makes gorgeous pottery. I could not put words to my excitement when I first heard whispers of their collaboration.

Sake + Tea Mixture— I can never fully recreate this just the same. There is magic in that, I think. I have little left. I made it by taking a sprinkling of the following teas from Westholme, and cold steeping them in a mason jar with a large ice cube, topped with sake and a splash of moon bathed witch water.

featuring:

Blossom: (jasmine green, floral), for the cottage’s calendar

Bi Luo Chun: (green, delicate and earthy), for i thought it was grown here, over seven long years (I rolled a nat 1 on my perception check)

Pur-eh: (fermented, earthy), for its mushroominess and it’s connection therin

Dog: (black assam, vanilla and cardamon, from the Chinese Zodic series), the cardamom pod and a few leaves, for our beloved Fox

Witch Water: the witch water used in this potion was bathed in the Friday, October 13th New Moon (a day so witchy I thought for sure the class would be released that day!) in an empty kazuki gin vessel

~

Grapefruit— because it was pink and in season and a citrus I love dearly

Strega— the witch liqueur! According to legend, Giuseppe Alberti was given the recipe for this elixir after saving a witch falling out of the sacred walnut tree, under which witches would convene to dance and perform their rituals.

for the cocktail chapter of the @worldsbeyondpod unofficial cookbook

[lost-girl-2021]

Adopted Spider AU Idea

Okay so I had this idea for a avatar AU, where Spider is raised/adopted by the Sully’s from a young age and they don’t tell him Quaritch is his father. As far as he knows, his mom was a pilot on the Na’vi’s side and died during the battle. They didn’t really want to lie to him, but when Kiri gets to go see her birth mom, he wants to see his too, assuming she’s in a pod or something like Grace is. He’s already just so sad when they tell him he can’t visit his mom, because she’s not anywhere anymore, that they can’t bring themselves to break his heart and make him feel any more like the alien he is. So, they paint Paz as a brave warrior and keep it vague enough that they won’t get caught in any lies. And that was enough for (maybe five to eight year old) Spider. Besides, he loves his mama (Neytiri) and papa (Jake) and all of his siblings. Even before he was old enough to fit into a mask, they would visit him constantly and teach him about the woods and their home. When he was around seven or eight and old enough to go outside, he was instantly welcomed into his family’s home and never spent a night alone again.

(Also, in this, I’m aging Spider down to twelve, Neteyam is sixteen, Kiri and Lo’ak are fifteen, Tuk is eight. So, Spider’s the youngest Big Kid and his siblings are protective of him not only because he’s human and tiny, but because he’s also younger. I think to do this logically, it’d have to be a situation where Na’vi kids age faster than human kids, like maybe there ages start to even out/slow around puberty or something. Idk, haven’t super thought it out.)

Anyways, the rest of the movie stuff still happens. Except, it’s Kiri, Lo’ak, and Spider (Tuk is at home, silence bought with the promise of bringing her back fruit or something cool). When Lo’ak calls in about the Avatars, Neytiri flips, because she knows her children are all capable and strong and skilled, but those are her babies. And Spider— the boy who never remembers his spare mask and is always finding something death-defying to try? She thinks she’ll have the Na’vi equivalent of a heart attack.

So, they’re trying to head back home, get attacked and when Quaritch approaches Spider, Lo’ak and Kiri go crazy screaming at him to get away from their brother. And Lo’ak also recognizes Quaritch as the somehow reanimated murderer who was also Spider’s birth father. He’d overheard a conversation, years before, between his parents and Neteyam. His parents had explained it to the oldest and Lo’ak had accidentally found out as well. He ended up sneaking into the lab shack and finding a picture of the man (and his file). So, when Quaritch asks for Spider’s name, Lo’ak flips.

“Don’t tell him! Don’t say a word!” Lo’ak screeched from a few feet away.

The Avatar didn’t even glance his brother’s way. “I asked you a question, boy. What’s your name?”

Spider glanced at his siblings, heart racing. “Spider. . . Socorro.”

“His name is Spider Sully, he is my family!” Lo’ak hissed in English this time. “He is not yours!”

“Miles?” The man kneeled in front of him, looking at him strangely.

Miles. Miles. Miles. When was the last time he’d heard that name?

“Nobody calls me that.” It came out a near-whisper and he looked towards his brother. “Why does he know my name?”

“Don’t believe anything he says! He’s a ghost! A demon! He’s a liar!” Lo’ak screamed back, before one of the Avatars covered his mouth.

A little ways away, Kiri looked just as confused, still fighting against her captor as she tried to lean his way. Spider risked turning his gaze back to the man in front of him. He looked . . . weird. Emotional.

“I thought they’d send you back to Earth.”

“You can’t put babies in cryo.” He said as bravely as he could manage. “Why do you care, dipshit?”

The man’s brow furrowed as he settled a heavy hand on his shoulder. “Because, I’m your father.”

Spider reared back, breath catching loudly inside his mask. He looked over the large man’s arm, meeting his older brother’s wide-eyes.

“Lo’ak?”

“He lies!” The boy hissed, thrashing harder, two Avatars pinning him down this time.

“I’m telling the truth, Miles.”

“Don’t call me that.” It came out as a whisper. “My— my name is Spider.”

Quaritch gave him a curious look, letting him go and standing up once more. He turned away from the boy as another Avatar grabbed him, pressing two fingers to the communicator around his neck and calling out some code talk Spider didn’t have the capacity to process anymore.

He glanced down at the pack strapped to his loincloth, double-checking that the light hadn’t started blinking. Everything was working correctly, the seal had been done right when he’d left that morning. His parents always insisted on checking his mask when he put it back on after morning meal. His spare was strapped to his brother’s waist, Lo’ak learning long ago that Spider couldn’t be trusted to remember something so important. Spider had visited the shack the day before with the others to visit Grace and Max had replaced his mask and battery before they left. He should be fine.

But, it was kind of hard to breathe. And it was getting harder to focus. He sucked in a breath, looking over at his sister. She looked just as lost as him, yellow eyes locked onto him. She whispered to him, words reaching him from across the semi-circle.

“Be calm, little brother. Be calm.”

He forced himself to breathe in once more.

__

By the time Spider felt somewhat normal again, it’d been almost a half hour. Just . . . standing. Waiting. Spider wondered where their parents were. Spider and Lo’ak were five feet away from each other, but it felt like twenty. Both had guards on them, but they whispered as softly as they could while still being able to hear each other.

“Why does he know who I am? Is he really my . . . ” Spider asked, glancing towards the large Avatar called Quaritch.

“He’s not.” Lo’ak insisted. “You don’t have a father, like Kiri. We just have Dad. That demon is going to lie and try to trick you— he’s a monster, Spi. Don’t let him get inside your head. If he talks to you, don’t— “

A short whistle made Lo’ak stop speaking. All three of the Sully kids turned their heads South. Another call sounded. Mama.

Instead of Spider getting left behind, Quaritch flat-out yoinks Spider up onto his shoulder and hides him, cuffing him to a branch or him or something. And the chopper is arriving to pick them up, so he’s out of there first with Spider and—

Spider thrashed, mask fogging from tears and heavy breathing. He looked down, eyes meeting with his mom’s.

“Mama! Mama, please!” He screamed, trying to get away, to reach towards her.

He could see that she was crying too, climbing a tree like she could go high enough to grab him. He could see his dad, looking up at him, looking so angry. Angry at Spider? Angry that he was weak enough to get caught? Spider clawed at the monster— Quaritch, they’d called him. The man just tightened his grip. Spider didn’t care if he fell, didn’t care if he ended up tumbling towards the ground. His dad— his real dad would catch him. The year before, when Neteyam first got his Ikran, he’d taken Spider for a ride. Spider had fallen, goofing off in a way that a new rider couldn’t handle. He’d been caught by his dad before he could even have time to scream. Dad always caught Spider. Every time he fell from a tree or tripped over a root— dad was always there. Because, Spider was too weak. Spider was too human.

The whole thing ended up super long, so part two will be up later.

[darkdemeter]

𝑺𝑰𝑹𝑬𝑵, 𝑩𝑬 𝑩𝑶𝑼𝑵𝑫 𝑻𝑶 𝑴𝑬

COMING IN 2025 (OFFICIAL RELEASE DATE TO BE DETERMINED, ESTIMATED TEASER/RE-RELEASE CHAPTER SOMETIME IN APRIL. DATES AND COLUMN CONTENT IS SUBJECT TO CHANGES)

A COMPLETED SERIES ↳ Siren, Be Bound to Me will become a full and completed series from beginning to end. There are prior projects that I have either temporarily paused or retired for my own personal reasons as well as to make room in order to commit to this series. "SIREN GENESIS" (PROLOGUE) CHAPTERS ↳ A precursor storyline that explores the dangerously sensual and captivating origin of siren!reader and Captain Barnes that has been briefly mentioned/envisioned through SSBTM's finale chapter. Here is a small excerpt from chapter 1's Siren Genesis:

" -- And who exactly are you?

Why, you’re the Siren Queen’s own blood. The spitting image of her every younger scale, the personification of her commanding melody. A Siren Princess of all the seven seas. Next in line to succeed her mantle and carry on the sea’s eternal song. To evilly sustain balance between the world above as below. 

  Sunlight shines in blotted patterns through the watery veil, shimmering like gems found amidst the sunken merchant ships brought to their end in the heat of oceanic combat. And by the fresh state of the wood, still yet to rot in the salted biome and become overtaken by the reefs, pods of siren scavenge the wreckage in search of gifts for you. 

 You have no need exactly for these trinkets, but today is not just any other day. On the setting eve of today, you will finally initiate yourself amongst your kind with your first hunt. At the now turned age of 121, it is tradition that calls for you to make your first and proper kill. To paint your lips with the crimson paint of his blood and to taste it on your tongue, to lust after it. It is time that you claim your first heart of a man. -- "

ORIGINAL CHAPTER 1 RE-RELEASE WITH BONUS CUT CONTENT + SBBTM ASK SUBMISSIONS AND QUESTIONAIRE ↳ Though many readers were pleased with the quality of writing and the storytelling of the first part for Siren, Be Bound To Me -- (reading those comments have kept me strong and have served as kindling to resurface my passion for this project) -- there was additional content cut out due to the belief that readers would lose interest. This content explored some and smaller details of siren lore within the AU, general (almost slice of pirate life) content and as well as more sexual scenes. + Readers can send through ask submissions for the AU. These can be read and featured as more personal fillers and tied loosely to the actual canon storyline, providing a bit more of a personally curated experience for readers. + Inquiries that readers have about the story, the AU itself and anything else related to SBBTM are free and welcomed to ask in a mini questionnaire fashion. RELEASE OF THE OFFICIAL 2 ENDINGS ↳ The previous "finale" was used as a cut off point and was not the intended ending at all. With the opportunity to finally draw out the tale of Siren, Be Bound To Me to its fuller potential as a series, instead of sticking with one canon ending, there will the 2 official endings that readers can choose from depending on their own experience with the story and furthermore, regard as the other being the alternative. These endings were thought about and roughly noted down at the same time. Unable to choose ONE as the finale and to further provide a bit more agency to readers, the choice to have 2 endings became the plan.

"SIREN, BE BOUND TO ME" TAGLIST IS OPEN/TAG IN ADVANCE AVAILABLE!

Below the cut is a bit of a writer's rant. If you're not here for that then feel free to stop reading here. Thank you so much for tuning in with this update! xx

I am still pretty angry with myself about how the story came to its end. It was abrupt, unfinished, and like many of you - it was not the ending that I wanted. Without getting into the deep nit and grit, my mindset had shifted elsewhere quite negatively and thus affected the quality of both the story and the writing. And that is on me. I made the decision to write something of poor quality than what myself -- as both writer and reader -- as well as other readers deserved.

The story felt rushed, messy and all around it did not have the passion behind it. Each chapter became more of a chore as the saying goes and I lost love and passion for the world that I adore. I won't bore you with the whole BTS stuff, but overall and shortly, Siren, Be Bound To Me was a spiritual and altered revival of a fictional pirate story I wanted to write but never finished. So this fic was to I guess heal that sore wound mostly while also providing readers something that they might potentially enjoy. (I honestly never expected the fic to reach 1k notes. Not even 800 notes). But if you go back and read the first chapter, for me I can see so much love put in behind every word. I can see that I wrote it for myself and others just so happened to adore it just like me.

I guess that is the lesson I am learning. That it should really come down first and foremost to the writer's love for the story and how that's the not-so-secret key to it. I always thought that the whole "write with love" shtick was a bit of cheesy advice. However, I have come to realise that it's true. The moment that I lost that love for this fic, the story went downhill even when I tried to keep the passion for it going. In fact, it faded quicker. And then that fucking cop out of an ending happened because I drained myself and I thought: "Shelf it. Forget about it, it's another broken bottle alongside its unfinished parent. Move on."

So I did. I gave myself some time to write other things, the idea of coming back to it at a later time was a distant "eh, maybe" thought and I'm now circling back around. I'm rereading my work for SBBTM, finding the flaws in it's later chapters and finding again what I loved so much about the original one shot. What world I had in mind for it, how much I loved this pirate aesthetic and how much I anticipated the whole reveal and the ending/s. You might have been able to tell from my author notes how differently I felt too.

It became scary to write honestly because I fell deep into the writing for audiences pool. I was no longer allowing myself to express my ideas fully because I was scared with how it would be received. Quickly gonna say: this isn't a dig at readers or anything! This is solely on me because I let myself fall into that pit and shrunk away from the actual material I was working with. I personally feel like I was taming the the explicit themes that the fic was originally representing.

There have been so many times I wanted to delete those chapters. Still do, but for the meantime I think I'll keep them for legacy sake and perhaps to serve as a reminder to myself what it is I'm trying to achieve, what I'm trying to fix and what it looks like when lose my interest, my love and absolute passion.

Alrighty, I believe that is it for my writer's rant.

If you stuck around to read all of that then wow... for real thank you so much x. I rarely allow myself to rant but I think it was necessary in order to wipe the slate clean and move forward with writing for this fic.

[suuuupernovaaa]

kinä

kinä [ˈki.næ] num. seven

Anonymous Request: Could you possibly write a Ao'nung x Sully reader where they're kind of in that awkward stage like will they date will they not but reader is really good with kids especially his new baby brother and that's when he knows he wants her to be his mate.

Tsireya looks to be nearly in tears when I enter her mauri pod. The baby in her arms, her baby brother born only weeks ago, is producing a cry so loud that surely the entire clan can hear it.

"He won't stop!" she says desperately. "Mother said she would be right back, but he won't stop."

Ao'nung winces, covering his ears. "Is he hungry?"

Tsireya gives him a pointed glare. "If he is, we can't do anything about it."

While the two argue, and the baby cries, Y/N steps forward, extending her hands to Tsireya. Without a thought, she places her brother in Y/N's outstretched arms, and Ao'nung looks on with interest.

Y/N begins to walk around slowly, with a little bounce in her step, and a hush falls over all.

The baby, just howling moments ago, settles down as soon as he is cradled in Y/N's arms, pressed against her chest, while she coos and whispers in his ears.

"Calm now, beautiful boy," Y/N says. "Your mother will return soon, and I will hold you close until she does."

She sways back and forth gently, the way all mothers inherently know to do when they hold a child, and Ao'nung is struck by this image of her. He imagines it isn't his brother in her arms, but her own child - and his own child, as well.

His heart seems to expand in his chest, pounding loudly, and his mouth has gone dry.

What is this feeling?

Y/N turns to him, smiling, and he knows what this feeling is. For too long, Ao'nung and Y/N have danced around their feelings for each other, playing a game of will they, or won't they? Ao'nung hasn't been sure of how Y/N feels, and hadn't felt bold enough to ask her.

Until now.

Blessedly, Tsireya steps outside, saying she needs a moment to recover from all the crying. Y/N does not take her eyes off the baby until Ao'nung approaches, and puts his hand on her arm.

His brother's eyes have closed, and he is letting out soft, tiny snores. Though Ao'nung isn't typically enamored by little ones, he has to admit - that's cute.

"You will make a fine mother," Ao'nung tells her, and she looks to him, grinning again.

"I hope so. I want many children. Six, at least."

Ao'nung lets out a breath in a huff. "Six is a lot, but I think we can manage."

"We?" Y/N asks, her eyes wide, and she leans towards Ao'nung.

"Yes. You and I, and our six children."

Y/N looks unsure for a moment, and then her eyes relax, and a grin spreads slowly, ear to ear. The baby fusses for a second when she stops swaying, but she resumes, and he is contented again.

"What if I want seven?" Y/N asks.

Ao'nung shrugs. "Then I will give you seven."

Ao'nung has never felt so confident, so sure, and the pleased expression on his face only eggs him on.

"I will give you anything you want, Y/N, if you allow me to be your mate."

She glances down at the child in her arms, and then back up to Ao'nung, and he thinks he sees a mist of tears in her eyes.

"Nothing would make me happier, Ao'nung. I have been waiting for you to ask."

Ao'nung's chest bursts with joy and pride, he feels it reverberating through every part of his body, and he cannot stop the giant smile from creeping across his face.

He pulls his future mate into his arms, cradling the child between them, who remains happily asleep. He closes his eyes as he holds them, joyously looking forward to the day when it is their child they hold.

When it is their lives they share.