#seven and a half depending on how you're counting

[ahhhwomen]

I don’t know why I bite.

Vampire Empire

Part 1

Pairing: DarkVamp!Wanda Maximoff x DarkVamp!Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

A/N: We are going to ignore how long I disappeared, okay thank you. Also, y/n will not be in a proper relationship with the girls, she will very much be viewed and treated like a pet not a partner, but she will obvi still get the love.

Disclaimer: English is not my first language. All mistakes are my own.

AU Warnings: Human pets, abuse, violence, possessiveness, probably incorrect vampire lore, angst, panic attacks, hurt/comfort, kitten play (?), also this is not a Carol positive fic (I have nothing against her, but I needed a villain), death (later on)Minors DNI 18+

Summary: Your Master is a cruel woman, but you would never stand a chance against her, but what if they can?

Word Count: 3.5k

The keys jingle in a pattern.

With each step, the clash of metal calls out. It changes tune, depending on the day. If she’s tired, she drags her feet, it’s a slower melody. When she’s angry, there is a harshness to the smashing of the chain against her belt and a thud to her heavy boots.

You don’t know what her happy steps are, you think the sound would be smooth. Maybe, like she´s floating?

You wonder if you are ever going to hear it? If you are being honest with yourself, you don’t really know if you want to. At least her other behaviors are predictable, you can handle predictable, uncertainty however, that is an entirely different game. Not one you are very keen on playing.

Today, her steps boom like thunder, and her keys shriek like lighting.

Chills run down your spine; you press against the cold concrete wall. It scratches your skin. You press harder and cower closer.

You are shaking as she sweeps around the corner of your prison; she’s frowning today.

But…?

It hurts.

From yesterday. It still hurts.

She always gives you a day.

It still hurts.

You need a day.

It doesn't matter. You know you can’t stop it.

You close your eyes and submerge yourself in the void. You don’t like the dark, but she doesn't like it when you see.

Your cage opens with a shriek. You flinch as she touches your face, she is breathing down your neck and you feel yourself panic as she struggles with your collar.

It's never good when she takes away your collar.

Before you do something stupid, like fight back, a soothing voice guides you. It’s a whisper, that only you can hear. Drag in slow breaths, in for four, hold for seven, out for eight. Rinse and repeat. You do as they tell you.

You're in a sunflower field.

The heavy feeling in your stomach is from the big dinner you had, half an hour earlier.

The sun is setting, and you are smiling and laughing as you run through the field of flowers. They're ginormous, almost bigger than you. There is a weight to them as you push past. They scratch and irritate, but it's only temporary, so you keep laughing to yourself.

There is a whip to the wind, the sound loud and frightening. The flowers are louder, so you pretend not to hear. They rustle and dance in the harsh wind.

It's dark, but the yellow glow of plant life guides you. You don’t know where you are running to, maybe home, maybe the ocean. It matters not. You are happy, just you and the flowers.

When the wind calms and the sun peaks over the horizon you know it’s time to leave.

You trek through the soil and ignore the sharp stones that prick your pale skin, you wish you could stay, but it’s time to return.

You open your eyes when she leaves. She almost killed you today.

It's okay.

You deserved it.

Tomorrow, you rest.

Maybe.

Natasha smirks over the rim of her whisky glass. One would think the blonde would be professional after almost a century of doing business, yet she still stomps around like a child throwing a tantrum when she doesn't get it her way. The redhead almost feels bad for the poor pet that was going to be at the end of Carol's rath tonight, almost.

“Knock, knock.” Wanda stands in the doorway, her knuckles lightly tapping against the dark oak.

She’s dressed modern today. Her suit is fitted to perfection, it hugs her waist and expands her hips. She also went for a smokey makeup look, her eyeshadow a mix of dark brown and black, her lips a deep amber, just like her suit.

If attraction could kill Natasha would be one dead woman.

She smiles at her wife before signaling her in with a wave. She’s surprised to see Wanda, her wife comes by occasionally, and she has always dressed nicely, but this is new. Due to her desk stealing her view, Natasha can't see, but she can hear her wife's high heels as she passes through the threshold. Same color as the suit she imagines.  

“What brings you here?” Natasha questions as she pours her wife a drink.

Wanda settles herself in the plush chair in front of her wife before bothering to answer. “Do I need a reason lovely? Maybe I just want to see my beautiful wife in her place of work.” Wanda grins while the other redhead hands her a glass of whiskey. Neat, just how she likes it.

Natasha scans her wife with suspicion, she wants something. She can tell by the way Wanda leans her body slightly to the left while her lips lift into a flirtatious half-smirk.

The shorter redhead lifts her eyebrow. “As nice as that may be, why are you really here?”

Wanda deflates slightly at her wife’s accusatory tone. She is right, of course, but Wanda was hoping she could butter her up a little before getting to that. Wanda will have to ask her out on a date soon and make herself a little less predictable.

She is ashamed to say it's been a while since their last dinner date, or movie night for that matter. However, it's hard to find the time when you have been married since the eighteen hundreds, and you both work more than any human would be capable of.

Which brings her to her point.

Wanda pulls in a breath, “I want a pet.”

Before Natasha can get a word in Wanda continues to ramble all in the same breath, “And I know, I know, we have already gone over this. But I'm lonely. The business has been slow since the Stark clan agreed to our peace offering. And while you are busy here, I want someone to come home too.” Wanda keeps her tone open and light.

She wasn’t here to accuse her wife of not giving her enough attention, they both knew that their different work would keep them apart, but while Wanda would spend long nights in her home office, Natasha would spend them in her company office on the other side of the city.

Natasha drums her fingers sharply against her desk, she wants to shut the idea down immediately.

Having a frail human pet would mean having a weakness. Natasha knows her wife well. She knows her wife will get attached, and she knows it will never end well for either of them.

On the other hand, she understands her wife's needs. Natasha spends most of her days in the office, working to uphold their cover, while Wanda spends her days all over the city settling their other business. Their schedules never align either, Natasha works days, Wanda nights. She has to admit, it doesn't sound half bad to have someone to come home to the few nights she can afford it.

Wanda is waiting with bated breath as her wife concludes.

“You have already set up the meet, haven’t you?”

Wanda gapes slightly but conceals it before her wife sees. She knows her too well indeed.

She slumps into her chair, “Yes.” She lifts her finger to stop Natasha from commenting, “In my defense, I was coming here to get your approval.” Natasha chuckles to herself.

“And if you didn’t get it your way?”

Wanda smiles bashfully, “Then I would go without you.” Natasha has to blink away tears from how hard she laughs, she is gripping her stomach, wheezing while answering, “I would expect nothing less my love.” She rights her posture and wipes a tear from the corner of her eye. She glances at her wife hiding her blush behind luscious red locks.

She can never say no to her.

Clapping her hands together, she responds. “Fine, you win.”

Wanda practically shines with mirth and joy, “But,” her companion eyes her carefully, nodding to confirm she´s listening. “I get to pick the name that goes on her collar.”

The other redhead huffs, “Fine, but it better not be something stupid.”

Natasha shrugs and her wife leans over the table to slap her shoulder in warning. Natasha smiles all the same and shakes her head, “Yeah, yeah, nothing dumb.” As much fun as she is having with this, she is a busy woman.

She runs her hands down her black suit, thinks of what paperwork to finish, and mumbles a question about when they need to leave while sorting through the latest update about their progress on Project X. Wanda, without missing a beat, states a simple, “Now.”

Nat drops her pen and pinches the skin between her eyebrows. Wanda shrugs half apologetically as Natasha fixes her with a hard glare.

Rolling her eyes, Natasha grumbles a short, “Right, we better get going then.”

It's been almost a decade since she has set foot in one of these shitholes. Nothing has changed, the cages are just as small, and the odor stinks the same, alcohol, blood, and fear.

Wanda shifts uncomfortably as they wait for the salesman to get his spreadsheet, Natasha silently watches from the sideline as he sorts through a mess of paper and fast-food containers to find what he is looking for. She chastises Wanda for not finding a better establishment. Back in their time, this was the usual, but nowadays they have far better alternatives.

Wanda leans against Natasha to whisper, “It was the only place by a few miles Tash, and it’s the only place we have time for.” Natasha stays unimpressed. Wanda smirks at her wife and tucks a strand of loose hair behind the other redhead's ear before discreetly licking the shell of it and whispering sweetly, “I will make it up to you.” Natasha shivers under the attention and the salesman grunts a weak, “found it” before leading them into the main hall.

The ocean swishes in the background as you lie on your blue, shark-themed blanket in your modern bikini. The sun gleams over your head. Your skin stings and you shift onto your stomach, you must have forgotten sunscreen again.

Nonetheless, you purr under the shine of good weather; you wish you had taken a book with you. Maybe next time. For now, you stretch out and lay your bare arms against the warm sand. It will be stuck in every crevice, but it's nice.

A light breeze passes you.

You suck in a big breath, it burns, but you ignore it. It smells of salt and….. salt… and….?

Ice-cream.

It smells of salt and ice cream.

You think you may stay for a while today. You might visit tomorrow, but you would rather not.

If it doesn't burn too much, you hope to sleep tomorrow through. After all, if you are really lucky, you may not wake up again.

This place is even more depressing than Wanda had anticipated.

She and the other redhead had been to a similar place a few decades ago, but this was just sad. Not even the potent scent of blood can get her to ignore the uncomfortable sound of churning, empty, stomachs.

If they lived in a different city she would have taken her wife to a more humane operation, but with limited time comes limited opportunity.

The male and female sections are separate, in the left hall she can smell the odor of young men eager to please, while in this hall she can see the curious and smell the fearful. The gruff man showing them around had introduced them to a few pets by now, but she had to admit they were not what she was hoping for.

There had been one pet she took a slight liking to; a young woman, in her mid-twenties, she was in the puppy section, an enthusiastic little thing. But in the end, she was a little too pushy for Wanda’s liking, Natasha hadn’t seemed too keen either, so they left it there.

The kitten section wasn’t too bad, but every time she thought she was building a connection, Natasha would step into the pet's line of sight and they would cower away one by one. She knows her wife is putting on a stern face to test the poor little things, but it was starting to piss her off big time.

Wanda rolls her eyes as the feeble man struggles with yet another lock, she lifts her suit jacket and checks the expensive gold watch ticking away, fifteen more minutes or they will have to come back another time. Given that this was the only available time she and Nat had had in a few weeks the dire truth of not getting a pet today was settling in.

“Here she is, now she's not much to look at, but since you wanted to see them all,” the man shrugs and Wanda has half the mind to bite his head off. Before she can do anything of the sort Natasha takes her by surprise by stepping into the cage before her.

Nat ignores her wife as she steps into your cage, she has seen you before.

You were Carol's pet, or at least she thought you were. But it seems you were a less permanent part of the blonde’s life. Your cage was different, it was slightly bigger, the poorly dressed man had said something earlier about you being a leased pet.

You look horrible. She is studying you from a few feet away and she can still see the horrors you must have been through.

She knows Carol is violent, it's why she has spent so long trying to negotiate with blondie. Their clans were never on the same page and yes, threats were constantly made, but this was something else. Natasha would never think the pathetic woman would do this just because she could.

She hears Wanda step in and gasp at the sight of you.

You are lying on the hard floor with your back turned to them, a rag the size of a hand towel barely covering your bottom. Your hands are stretched out under the lamp, the only heat source you have, you have been beaten to a pulp. There are deep lacerations covering you, your entire body is one big bruise, and dried blood covers every crevice of both your skin and even part of the walls. But that was not what caught either of their attention, no, it was the lack of life they could sense from you.

Natasha kneels a few feet away from you and studies you carefully.  Her hand rests against her cheek as she tries to focus on your heartbeat. It beats, but there was something off about it. It's slow like you are asleep, but she can hear in your breathing that you are still conscious.

She tilts her head and talks off-handedly at the man behind her.

“Is she sick?” She hears him scoff but ignores it in favor of closing her eyes and trying to feel you.

“Of course not-“ He waves his hand, “all that,” he gestures at your body, “was her own fault.”

Before Natasha has time to reprimand the pig, she hears a crunch behind her followed by a heavy thud.

She huffs and raises herself slowly before opening her eyes and looking at her wife with her peripheral vision. “I thought we agreed to not kill anyone today.”

Wanda stares at her with empty eyes. “No. We agreed on not killing any innocent people tonight. As far as I am concerned, I am just following his logic, after all this was all his fault.” Wanda gestures at the dead man's body.

Natasha turns to her wife while rolling her eyes.

Wanda ignores her wife's sass and looks past her to take you in once more. “Who is she?”

Natasha shrugs and gazes at you over her shoulder. “She was Carol´s plaything, but I guess Carol never owned her like I thought.” Wanda raised her eyebrows in surprise and stared at Nat, “That’s y/n?”. Her eyes move down to you again, “last time I saw her she sure as hell didn’t look like that.”

Natasha nods and crosses her arms in thought, “well it seems Carol is an even worse owner than she is a negotiator.”

The last time Wanda had seen you was when she joined one of Natasha’s meetings a few months ago, you were a new thing back then. You had scars, but they were pink and healed, you were a skittish little thing, but you ate, you had some color to you, and you sure as hell didn’t feel like this.

You could feel their eyes all over your body. You hated it, you never liked it when people looked too hard or thought too long, it always meant the same thing. They were assessing whether or not you are a feasible option as a pet. You know you aren’t, you know they will scoff and turn their backs to you as if you disgust them, like you don’t deserve to breathe the same air as them.

You get it though, they are probably right.

Usually, such a thing wouldn’t bother you, you are used to it by now, but there was something about their scents that put you off, you felt out of place even more than usual, and you hated it.  

You were too focused on pretending to be asleep to assess what the heavy thud against the concrete could have been.

Whatever it was, must have had something breakable inside of it as you could hear a clear crack as something bounced off the floor. You decided you didn’t care, you only cared about the sudden voice that took over all the space of your enclosure. Powerful enough to command any and every room, you know this voice. It belongs to one Natasha Romanoff, and suddenly the voice behind her made sense too. You had only seen the redhead once, but you would remember her anywhere, just as commanding as her wife, and even more scary, Wanda Maximoff.

If you weren’t scared before, you were positively shitting your nonexistent pants now.

You try to keep your breathing even so as to not show any hint of awareness, you have no idea what they could be doing here. Had Master sent them? Were these the last moments you would have, were you going to die in this tiny, claustrophobic hellhole?

You were panicking, and you know they can sense it. Feel it. No matter how many times Master called you such, you weren’t an idiot. You know what they are, you know what they can do, what they will do.

As you hear one of them take a step closer you turn into a stiff board. You stay completely still as you feel your lungs start resisting the air you desperately try to force into them, you have this sudden need to flee or to bear your neck and beg for them to finish it quickly. Right after the thought passes your mind you shrink in shame, Master will kill you for ever thinking of bearing your neck to another.

You can hear them pause for a moment as you feel their eyes on you again. You have been made.

You don’t know what comes over you, you don’t know where you suddenly find the strength, but before you even know what you are doing you are leaping towards the women, your hands ready to claw out their eyes if need be.

You know they are stronger, faster, and smarter than you could ever wish to be, but this is a survival instinct, nothing makes sense, nothing matters. And as you collide into a warm body and start ripping into it, to the best of your ability, you realize, you have no idea what you are doing.

Natasha knew what you were about to do, possibly before you, and as you crashed into her and started scratching and ripping at anything you could get your hands on, she realized that maybe you still have a chance at this life. For the first time during their little visit, she can feel something in you, it’s small, scared, abused, but there is a will there, a will to live, a will to fight. That is more than most in this bleak city.

She holds you gently as you rip apart her coat, tear at her skin, and bite her hands. She hears Wanda take an uncertain step toward the both of you, unsure of what to do. But Natasha waves her hands nonchalantly and asks Wanda with a calm voice to stay back.

Natasha understands that to her wife you must look positively rabid. You were in the kitten class, but you were fighting Natasha as if you were a fighter dog. All teeth and claws. However, compared to Natasha, you might as well have been a mite.

No matter how hard you try, you can’t pierce her skin, can’t topple her balance, you can’t win.

Your fingers dig into the soft skin, your nails gripping and tearing, but nothing happens. There is no skin underneath your nails, no blood, no sight of damage against pale skin. You bite the hands that hold you, and you can hear your jaw creek as you strain your weak body, but the skin doesn't break, the only blood you taste is your own.

You are scared, you don’t know what to do, there is no sunflower field to hide behind, no sea to drown in, you feel powerless, even more so than she makes you feel.

You don’t know what they want, you don’t want to die like this.

Even after all your effort goes to waste you can’t give up, you have to keep trying, you have to-

“Stop.”

Wanda looks at you with an unreadable expression, you look up in terror as you realize you can’t move your body. One simple word, in one simple tone, has made you paralyzed.

[edelfie]

#𝓣𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗘! who’s that girl?

Y/N L/N is a nobody. well, maybe that’s a stretch, but it’s nothing compared to the other words the media uses to describe you. washed up, irrelevant, talentless—any cruel word or insult has or will be thrown your way. but 10 years in the game has forced you to grow thick skin, even if the supposed quality of your music doesn’t suit it. so why is it that today, of all the days, you awake to the worst news imaginable—worse than all the name-calling and jeers?

or, you open twitter. it doesn’t go well.

BLIND ITEMS! —

## this millionaire’s daughter influencer is known for buying many of her followers across all platforms. however, brands and colleagues ignore it because of the fat check lining her pockets.

## this one-of-a-duo A-list model is having business disputes with his other half and sibling. apparently, he wants more creative control over their projects despite having been in the industry for less time. it’s so serious that legal litigation is in the works. [revealed: lev haiba, alisa haiba]

## the not-so-indie band’s newest album is rumored to be about a controversial figure in the industry. this figure has already produced an album about the lead singer years ago, however it failed to garner any publicity.

## off-the-charts wannabe pop star is postponing her next album because her team knows her career is over if she doesn’t chart well. after nearly a decade in the industry and without a single long-lasting, cultural hit, she’s better off waiting tables than writing music. [revealed: Y/N L/N]

gracetheestallion. the haiba twins fighting ?? i can’t believe, like actually

colormeshocked. if y/n doesn’t clutch up rq then i’m gonna be so sad for her — underdawg. honestly, it’s just not fair how she’s treated by the industry — garagoesgaga. it’s “unfair”? she literally only makes trash songs and hooks up with men in relationships, girl bye — underdawg. your misogyny is showing, ugly <3 — garagoesgaga. wowwwww insults, so mature. average iq of a y/n fan

read more…

NOTES! —

Two posts in one day? It's more likely than you think! Anyways, today's fundraiser is for the family and sons of Reyna and Javier. Reyna and Javier lost their lives in a fatal crash, leaving their three sons without parents. Of their sons, one of them was dependent on their parents as he has been wheelchair bound all his life. In this brief period of time, he has lost both his parents and his primary caregivers. The entire family is feeling the financial strain of the sudden loss, so every help counts. Please consider donating here on GoFundMe or copy the link and share it online!

If you're new here, or even if you're not since I'm just starting to post again, I strive to bring attention to different fundraisers in all my posts. I primarily focus on sharing the stories of individuals in dire need, such as refugees in Gaza or those experiencing sudden homelessness, however there is no comparison between struggles, grief, and loss here! So I also take the time to share the stories of families such as Reyna and Javier's, and would deeply appreciate it if you could show them some much needed love as well.

I won't say too much, but as someone who has had the cards stacked against them (being a poc, nonbinary, queer, a religious minority, etc.) and has experienced my own share of loss, I can say that while the pain doesn't feel the same, the knife digs itself into you either way. My family was privileged enough to afford a funeral for my grandfather, who recently passed, but with many other family members getting older in age and being taken by the devil that is cancer, it does make me nervous as to how we will make it through. Regardless, I just hope that my plea and the stories I share will implore you to help others—not out of moral or societal obligation or to save face, but out of humanity and compassion <3

SEVEN EVIL EXES + MASTERLIST + NEXT

© all rights reserved—edelfie (2024) // do not plagiarize, modify, copy, use, translate, or repost my work on other sites without permission

[nerdthatsiriuslylovesteaxx]

Helpless part 52 I don't want to die young

"I- I need to speak with Chiron."

"Can't you see we're trying to play poker over here?" Mr. D had answered,

"What has happened William?"

"It's... about Nico..."

"Come, let's walk." He felt guilty doing this, he knew it was the right thing but it felt wrong, it felt like a betrayal.

"You... you know he's been in the infirmary a lot?"

"Side effects form the war, I'm presuming." They were inside the forest, travelling through familiar routes, this one, Will knew. It lead to a lake if you knew where you were trying to get to.

"Partially, the magical stuff yes but two of the times-" He took a breathe before continuing, no matter how many patients he'd had for the same reason he'd never told Chiron, they all asked him not to and it had never gotten to the point where they were in emergency care. "-it was himself, first time with- cuts, last night Jason found him passed out, trying to drink himself to death." He choked back tears, trying to remain neutral was the best option.

"How is his condition now?"

"We're unsure whether he'll wake up, he- he's probably going to be in a coma for a while." He hated that it was true, he hated the chance that he wouldn't, he hated that he had to say all of this.

"You don't want to be telling me this." His voice, the same calm, still, voice that left you doubting the next response.

"I- it's- he- he didn't want you to know, I feel like I'm betraying him."

"I see, is this the first case?" It wouldn't be a good idea lying to him, he knew that, but he also knew that he'd have to tell him things he'd been dreading to say.

"Not even close, I've had at least seven, sadly-" Another breath, this was going to be fine. "-I've seen so many dead with a note because I never knew they needed help, and neither did anyone else." He looked off, Will tried reading his expression but it was pointless, it was as if the mist was covering his face, hiding every single detail.

"I would hope you're still regularly checking in with said patients? Making sure it hasn't been continuing, helping if it has and even if it hasn't being there as perhaps not a therapist but... more a concerned friend?"

"Y-yes I've been doing that, I've sometimes kept people in the infirmary but I can only do that if they're being a danger to themselves and there limit of a week." He held his breath between every sentence, it was breaking him to say all of this but he had to keep himself calm.

"We'll be changing those as quickly as possible, you're entitled to keep anyone in for as long as you feel like they need help however you still need either their consent or a guardians." Will nodded, he'd not asked him for a list yet, this was going as well as it could. "Do you have anyone for people to talk to before things escalate?"

"Yes but- most people don't come before that, even less come willingly; people are too scared to ask for help on their own. We've tried to advertise it more however it's never really done much, no one wants to reach out no matter how much they need help."

"Could you please inform me of who these people were?" Too many, too many people are hurt, too many people deserved better, too many people have had lives so hard you can't blame them for wanting to end it.

"It's confidential." Leo, Annabeth, Percy, Selina, Nico, the list went on.

"I need to know who to keep an eye on."

"I've been doing that, half of them died in battle or suicide so they don't really affect you." He snapped, shit, no, he needs to watch his tone. He dreaded what the look on Chiron's face would be yet he was treated with the same, calm, blank expression that had been resting on his face the entire time.

"I can be sure you're taking care of them? Weekly to monthly therapy depending on how much they need it? Keeping them in if required?"

"You can count on me." Because he was meant to be the stable one.

***

[kogetaikid]

Alright Guys. It's theory time. But first, have this super lazy Sour Patch Kid looking ass diagram of the eight fallen humans

I would've added the switch soul. But at the time that i'm writing the first half of the post, it's 10:30pm and I'm tired.

I guess I'll take this as an opportunity to say that reader discretion is advised. This post will deal with serious topics revolving around suicide, child abuse and child neglect. Please remain civil and respectful while interacting. Debunking/constructing on this theory is greatly appreciated, but no "oyasumi", "going to get milk" or any sort of jokes surrounding these topics are not allowed and I may even block you if i have to. I like dark humor but this post isn't made for humorous purposes. Proceed with caution.

[Several hours later/I've had a good night's sleep/Keep reading for theory]

(Sorry for all the warnings. I just wanna make sure that anyone who gets upset by these topic have scrolled past already)

THEORY TIME!

(Sorry if this is incomprehensible af. I could prob make an AU out of this but don't count on it. I've tried making AU's before and couldn't keep up)

If you've been a fan of Undertale and Deltarune for a long time, you may have come across a lot of theories on the fallen humans coming from dysfunctional households. I've seen many people theorize/headcanon that Chara, the first fallen human after the war between humans and monsters fell from Mt. Ebott as a suicide attempt, and tried poisoning themselves prior to surviving the fall, meeting the royal Dreemurr family, accidentally poisoning Asgore. I put "suicide attempt" in bold font because even though the humans in Chara's village thought Asriel killed them when they died, what if a small percentage of the villagers didn't believe Asriel killed Chara, and some of the humans suspected suicide.

This could've lead to other humans (specifically the children) who come from dysfunctional families and where tired of either the abuse and they had to endure everyday seeing Chara and Mt. Ebott as a way to escape.

In short, Mt. Ebott was a suicide spot for abused kids

Something to support this claim can be this piece of text from the Undertale intro.

In the Undertale intro, we see Chara, the first fallen human. The main protagonist, Frisk was the eighth (and depending on which route you take) the last human to fall into the underground.

At the end of the pacifist route, Asriel talks about how Chara hated humanity and asks what Frisk fell in the first place.

One can assume Frisk wanted to free the monsters, but even with some before hand knowledge, it's highly unlikely that Frisk would've known about Flowey/Asriel and all the shenanigans from the pacifist route.

To top it all off, the reason why I quoted "legends say that those who climb the mountain never return." is because it can be taken in the concept of Mt. Ebott being a surefire way to kill yourself. Especially if seven others died prior; six of them never returning to the surface. Therefore, you're bound to be killed either by the impact of the fall, or by other monsters.

I hope my tired ass is making sense. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DEBUNK! Here's the post prior to this. Good day. I shall be waiting for my (somewhat) loving family to arrive in a good few hours.

[atinysunbaby]

Eternal sunshine 》 Kim Hongjoong

Pt.1

Ateez fever masterlist

Pairing : Hongjoong x Fem reader

Genre : Fluff

Warnings : Slight mention of child mistreatment, cursing

Summary : Born to lead people, from the moment he met the seven disturbed young man, he never let them down. The one they rely on the most, Hongjoong pushes his own feelings and problems aside. He's busy, has so much to take care of that he often is in a rush. Is saving up some money to go to college, he wants to study fashion. Babysits in his free time and even teaches himself about music composition. Can't remember what it feels like to be taken care of, to let his guard down, until he meets you, the pretty girl that caught his eye.

Words count : 3.8k

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You just finished making a post on your social medias about needing a babysitter for your little brother, you're in serious need of someone to watch him while you work and there's none of your relatives or friends, no one you possibly know that can.

He was young enough to go to nursery school last year and it was really close to your workplace, so there was no problem with your schedule and having him taken care of at all times, but this year he's starting kidergarten and your hours at work changed. The elementry school he'll go to is quite far and it finishes early, he'd get home an hour and a half before you.

His sitter would need to get him from school and walk him home, stay for an hour or two depending if your work a bit later then planned. At first you were against the idea, but after finding no other solution, you gave in.

You don't want just anyone doing it either, you'll interview them and make sure they are trusty enough and mature. You're even ready to have them go through a trial first, you'll evaluate their competence while they interact with him and you'll ask for your brother's aproval as well, wanting to make sure he's comfortable with the person before hiring them. It'll take as long as it needs to find the right person, you want the best for Kyong.

You became his legal guardian as soon as you could, getting a job before graduating and saving up some money, looking for a place to live and filling paperwork in advance, just so when you turned eighteen you could immediately leave. You went to court and with the proves they had against your mother and seeing how determined to take care of him you were, they officially declared you his legal guardian.

Your mom didn't care, she didn't even fight for her rights, not that it would've changed anything, but it just showed how much she didn't deserve to keep her kid. Growing up, you didn't have the love of your parents, they never showed you any sign of affection, gave you what you needed to survive and told you to not complain and you never did. You were happy enough to be able to go to school and escape the reality of what went inside your home.

Your dad left your mom after she cheated on him, he didn't want to take care of you on his own so your mom was left with you, but she didn't want to keep you either. You were only seven when it all happened, you watched and heard them scream at each other, insults that you shouldn't have known the meaning of at that age and a situation no good parents should put their kids through.

You had to learn with time, that locking yourself into your room and muffling the noises with your pillow was the best option. One night you came home from a friends house to find them arguing again, but it was the last time. Your dad already had packed all his belongings in his car and was announcing to your mom that he was leaving her, because he found out she slept with his cousin.

She kept denying it over and over again, until the realisation hit her, that he wouldn't come back and it was really happening. At that moment, it's like something went off into her brain and she lost it. She started throwing any object in sight at him and even going as far as running outside and hitting your dad's windshield with an outdoor light that was placed in the dirt.

All the yelling allerted some neighbors and they called the cops. It resulted in them going back the exact way they came from, after your mother told them it was a misunderstanding. She made them come inside the house, showed them everything was fine. Luckily for her, she finished cleaning up the mess before they arrived, with your help.

They also questionned you, only getting lies in return. Obviously you had been threatened to be punished if you said a word, but you were too shocked and scared anyways, too young. It made you shut up.

-

"Kyongie! Are you ready yet? I told Seojin's mom you'll be there at 7!" You wait for the small boy to finish getting ready after he confirmed he could do it on his own, he's confident in being 'big enough to not need your help all the time now', it's what he said, but it's taking longer then expected. You'll wait for him though, leaving him the chance to try, unless he changes his mind.

You're lucky to have him, he has been your only source of hope since he came in your life. It's like he appeared right when you needed it the most, when you were about to give up. He's your little angel, you'd give up everything just for him.

"I'm ready!!" The sound of small feet hitting the floor coming closer makes you break into a smile. Kyong proudly shows off the outfit he picked himself and put on without any help. It isn't matching quite perfectly, but for his age it isn't bad at all. You gasp exaggeratedly, praising him while clapping your hands. "Wow you're such a big boy now, look at you!"

You ruffle his hair tell him to put on his shoes before leaving, watching him with adoration. That little boy deserves the world, you wish you could give him so much more. "Let's go mama!"

He started calling you that a long time ago and you're actually glad he does. You told him that he isn't yours because he was too young to remember his real mom, but after a while the nickname just stuck with him. He had to know, there was no way you'd pretend to be and then announce that you weren't when he was older.

Your heart clenches sometimes when he asks about her, wondering if she loved him or if he could see her one day. You made it clear that it was impossible for him to meet her for now, but maybe in the future. You'd need to contact her first and require for her to be sober, you would have to be strict and not accept her bullshit.

Taking the small child's hand, you open the door and close it behind you, locking it before making your way to the car. He has a bright expression on his face, happily hopping next to you and you chuckle breathily seeing him so positive. "You are my sunshine~ My only sunshine! You make me happy~"

He sings next to you and you quickly join him. It's the song you started to sing to him shortly after his birth, it reflects your thoughts a bit and everytime he cried or he was angry, it always soothed him. You unlock the car and make him hop in, buckling him up before going to sit in the driver's seat. "Let's go sweet boy~"

》》

After having dropped off Kyong at Seojin's house, your friends called you to join them at the coffee shop near your location so you agreed to it, but only for a short time. You need to get to work in about forty-five minutes, a eight hours long day ahead of you and you're already looking forward for it to be over. You finish at 4 pm, then it'll be the time to go get your brother from at his friend's.

Seojin's mother was more than kind enough, agreeing to watch him for a few days until you find someone else. You were so grateful that you almost cried, you're really anxious about everything. Your situation isn't the best, but luckily a lot of people help you and you know you aren't alone.

"Well hello there gorgeous~" Sana calls you loudly the exact moment you enter the small shop making some head turn, you avoid people's stare while walking to their table, feeling a bit embarrassed. "You guys are so embarrassing I swear!"

"You're just too reserved, the world needs to know how wonderful you are babe." Dahyun says before squishing your cheeks and making your lips pucker, she coos at you. "Aww you're so cute I could kiss you!"

"Yeah you know what? I'd prefer if you didn't." You tell her after successfully swating her hand away, playfully winking at her. You sit next to Mina, she's on the side of the window so you're next to the aisle way and the two others are sitting in the opposite seats. A conversation is initiated by one of the girls and you join in when there is something to add.

You don't say much for about twenty minutes, listening more than anything else, that's what you prefer to do anyways. While the girls are busy talking, they don't notice the boy entering the place in a rush, sweaty and looking like he's about to pass out from stress. No one seems to pay him any mind, but you personally can't take your eyes away from his interesting and beautiful features.

Even with his hair all messy, bags under his eyes, he looks breathtaking. You pretend to be still interested in the conversation, laughing at some of the things they say and speaking when they ask a question, but you subtly glance from time to time at the table next to yours.

The stranger takes his laptop out of his bag, struggling with how much in a hurry he is and when it's placed safely on top of the table, he quickly turns it on. A server comes to take his order and he asks for a large cup of coffee, which is a wise choice in your opinion from the look of exhaustion plastered on his face.

"Y/N! Hey! You were out of it for a second, you good?" Sana waves her hand in front of your eyes, bringing your focus back to them. You nod your head, clearing your throat before answering. "Yes I'm fine sorry, I was just thinking of what to make for dinner, Kyong didn't give me any suggestion today."

They smile at you, wearing a weird expression on their face and you furrow your brows in confusion, waiting for them to explain. You signal for one of the girls to start speaking when they only silently watch you and finally Mina opens her mouth. "It's sweet that you care so much about your little brother and all but I think you'll be late if you don't leave now."

"Oh shit-" You say your goodbyes in a flash and scurry out of the door, doing your best to avoid running into the few people who are coming inside. While on your race against time, a few curses are thrown your way and they go right past your ears. You much prefer to ignore being insulted for something you have no control over, instead focusing on getting at your job in time and not be fired.

You parked your car a bit further away from the shop since the ones closer were all taken, so you're losing more time by having to cross the streets. Cars are passing and people crowding the sidewalk, preventing you to reach your transport for longer than you would've hoped.

》

"30 seconds late and I get scolded! Seriously, I know it's my fault, but still!" You whisper yell to your coworker with a frown on your face the moment your boss is back in her office, a pout threatening to take over your features. Felix mercilessly laugh at your misfortune and you somehow don't feel so sad anymore, annoyance replacing it instead. "Why are you so mean Lix?"

"Because I can." He doesn't even glance at you once, seeming too entertained by the food in front of him and you huff in displeasure, hating it the most when people ignore you. After the failed attempt to get through the cold hearted boy, you put all of your efforts into your tasks. The whole day, all you did was cook and get yelled at by the chef to hurry up with the orders. You took your lunch break of course, but it's as if you didn't.

Almost every day you're standing and moving around like crazy, it basically replaces doing cardio. When you're done, just like always, you can't wait to get home and take a nice lukewarm shower. As disgusting as it sounds, there is a layer of sweat and grease covering your skin, working in a place where the ovens and hot plates are diffusing unbearable warmth, it's impossible to avoid.

"Bye Felix! See you tomorrow~" Knowing he hates showing affection to anyone other than his friends, you enjoy teasing him as much as he likes making you feel like shit. You watch as he glares at you with a smirk on your face, subtly showing him your middle finger so no one else in the restaurant sees and he mouths 'fuck you'. It's barely noticeable, but you manage to catch it, it is followed by a scoff and a smile appearing at the corner of his lips.

While leaving, with one last glance behind you, you can only see that Felix covered up his smile with a stone-faced expression. It results in you rolling your eyes in despair, wondering if it's even worth all of your efforts and time. Shit it was so close this time! He's one hard headed motherfucker.

》

You drive to the supermarket before going to get Kyong, you only need to buy a few items for tonight's dinner and still have some time left till 4h30. You had the whole day to think about which meal you could possibly cook and the best idea that for sure will be loved by your little boy, is lasagna.

The store's pretty empty, aside from the few people working and the very rare customers. The big vacant space and the quiet surroundings are something you didn't know you needed after a long agitated day at work.

Humming to yourself, controling the cart in front of you faster than you though, it results in a pretty violent crash into someone. You hear the yelp that comes out of his mouth before his body collapse to the floor by the force. Immediately, you gasp in shock and apologize endlessly. "Oh fuc- I'm so sorry, are you ok?"

"Yeah- I'm good.. I think." He sighs as you help him up, the bottle of alcohol that was once safe in his hands, now broken, spilling the liquid all over the surface under him and his clothes. "Shit! I'll pay for that, it was totally my fault. Are you sure you're alright, I swear I didn't see you! I'm so-"

"Hey~ Hey~ I'm fine, It's all good. It was an accident, what about you? Are you good?" You blink, eyes fixed on him, you remain speechless. The same guy from the coffee shop! And he's worrying about you when you literally rammed the damn cart into him and almost sent him to his grave? "I- Ehh yeah, of course I'm ok!"

You nod dumbly and he smiles at the expression on your face. "It almost looks like you were the one who was hit, you can breathe you know. I promise I won't have any sequel from this, is that making you feel any better~"

He playfully says and you laugh in relief, for a second you had though a man was going to be sent to the hospital because of you. "Y-yeah sorry, is there any way I can make it up to you?"

"No that's not necessary, you don't owe me anything. Things like this happens, I know it wasn't your fault." His smile almost blinds you, it's only subtle on his pretty rosy lips, but it's enough to have your heart skip a beat. "Well then at least let me repay you for the broken bottle please, or It'll stay stuck in my mind."

"Well maybe I would prefer if you wouldn't forget this moment, I know I won't." With that, the beautiful stranger diseapears from your sight, but not without sending a last sweet grin your way.

You stay unmoving for the next minute, breathless from the weirdest but also most interesting encounter you've had in a while, especially with the most beautiful human being you've ever seen. Shit you didn't ask for his name.

"Excuse me, could you move back just a litlle bit?" One of the store's employees arriving with a mop and some other cleaning supplies, says. Apparently, you didn't realise you were so close to the spilt drink and have been here for longer than you thought, because the boy you bumped into, already had the time to warn someone of the small accident. "Yes of course, sorry!"

You make your way to the checkout after finding everything you need, not forgetting to add cotton candy ice cream for dessert in your cart, it's yours and your brother's favorite flavor. It's like a ritual that you two have, to eat it once every week while watching a movie before tucking him into bed.

"Thank you, have a nice evening!" You receive a cheerful reply by the cashier and then you're out of there. The paper bag is in one of your arms and with the other you struggle a bit to get your car keys out of your bag, but still can't find them. Cheking the time on your phone, it pushes you to search more frantically and with more efforts you manage to feel the cold metal on the tip of your fingers and tug the set of keys out. "Fucking finally!"

》

"I apologize for not being on time, a small incident happened at the store. I promise it won't happen again!" Seorin reassuringly laughs at your panicked state, waving her hands in front of your agitated ones to get you to keep them still. Once your wrists are secure in between her soft motherly fingers, she smiles in hopes of soothing you, speaking with an appeasing tone of voice like a woman would do to her child. "Shh~ shh~ It's fine sweetheart, don't fret your pretty head about it. I understand and what's a few minutes late, I wouldn't mind even if you would've arrived hours later, Kyong's a real angel."

"Thanks.. Yeah! Yes, he really is." You smile brightly, tears burning the back of your eyes. The feeling of someone caring for you like a mother, being absolutely foreign to you, so much that you can't help but long for more, but you're moslty proud that someone sees how much good there is in your little boy. "You know Y/N, you really are raising him well. You're doing so good, he's lucky to have you."

And that's what does it, waterfalls endlessly streaming down your eyes, chocking on the sobs you're desperately trying to keep inside. The next moment you're being embraced by warmth, it's unfamiliar yet so comforting, you wished it wouldn't end. "There, there~ How about a nice warm cup of coffee mmh? You and Kyong could stay for dinner too!"

She rubs your back until your cries die down completely, stepping away from you to let you take a few deep shaky breaths. "Now you wanna come inside sweetie?"

You nod your head weakly, not trusting your voice right now to speak. She leads you to the kitchen in silence, letting you come down from the small break down you just experienced. You don't even know what got into you, never having expected to burst out like that. "Here, you should clean your face up a bit while I go get the boys upstairs. Bathroom's the second door to your right in the hallway if you need to go."

She hands you a warm dampened washcloth, winking at you playfully to get a smile out of you and succeeds in doing so. You watch as she follows through with her words, disappearing up the stairs. You reluctantly stand up to make your way to the bathroom, hurrying so Kyong won't see you in your currant state.

"Oh shit! I hope that's not how I looked earlier at the store..." You mumble to yourself after seeing the result of your sweat and tears. Mascara staining your cheeks despites the label indicating it's waterproof, at least it was supposed to be. Your hair's messy and it looks like you went through a battle with a wild animal.

"Mama! Mama?" Hearing the small voice of your sweet boy calling for you brings back light into your eyes. Quickly, you finish wiping your face and tie your hair in a messy bun, exiting the room in a hurry to meet him.

"My little sunshine!" His head whips around at the sound of your voice, a grin plastered onto his cute features. He runs as fast as his short legs let him and jumps into your arms full of excitement. "I missed you so much ma!"

"Me too Kyongie! How was your day, you were a big boy?" You raise your brows in wonder, showing him that you're waiting for his answer even though you already know he behaved well. "I was good and I didn't cry once!"

"No way! Not even once? Where is Kyong, what have you done to him?" You put the small boy down, squatting next to him, pretending to look around at his research. "I'm right here, it's me! It's true I didn't cry!"

He takes your face between his tiny hands so your attention is on him. His eyes are opened wide and he speaks with certainty, as if he was trying to persuade you that it was in fact him. "Ok, ok. I believe you!"

You chuckle at his relieved expression, he seems incredibly glad that you trust his words and gives you a peck on the cheek. You copy the gesture and in return, his small arms wrap around your neck and he clings to you like a koala, not planning on letting go. "Can we go home now?"

"We will, but first, Seorin suggested that we stay for dinner, is that something you would like?" You always feel the need to ask for his opinion, because you would hate yourself if you pushed him to do something he didn't want.

And good thing you did, because the timid shake of his head is all you need from him. You thank the kind woman for all of her help and you're on your way home, saying your goodbyes beforehand. "Bye and thank you again!"

》Part 2《

Leave a comment if you want to be tagged in the other parts of the whole fever series ;)

Taglist : @justineasian @do-you-actually-care @i-just-woke-up-in-my-underwear @sansworld @sanshineeeeee @parkjiminiemouse @allorysayshi @harusoraa

[redheadedbrunette]

Cool so I reread the series and I noticed a lot more than I did the first two times I read it which is fun. The relationship between Ben and Erica is more explored than I remembered which is good and I can definitely see her character arc a lot clearer.

X is still my least favorite book and there’s absolutely a corner that Gibbs wrote himself into on that one unless he’s entirely giving up on the idea of having Ben and co. be secret agents.

Ben’s a lot more of a competent spy than I remember too, which is refreshing.

I also completely forgot that all 10 of these books happen in the span of like a year and a half which is hilarious.

Oh and the age gap seems like something that would be a lot more of an issue if there weren’t only like 300 people in the world they could have contact with. Even Erica and Josh had a bit of a gap since she had to have been 14/15 or so while he was 17/18. A gap of 2.5 years would be problematic for normal kids but I think different rules would apply.

I'm so glad it was clearer on a second go around! Honestly, I didn't even really see it all that clearly until I reread the series a couple years ago (SSAS came out my first week of college) and had a lot more experience with how stories work on a fundamental idea. Erica's development is very much in the background, but when you're looking for it (excluding SSPX, but that's a different rant) it's so clear and interesting and I love it.

SSPX bothers me for SO MANY REASONS the biggest of which is that Mr. Gibbs puts the message before the overarching plot of everything, and then! It's not even a relevant message! Like, what twelve year old is hardcore believing QAnon (it's pretty obviously meant to be that or something similar). I feel like something could have been achieved and a message about privacy, like Murray makes getting a video of Ben part of some TikTok knockoff challenge, because that seems like a much more likely thing kids would do, but gotta make fun of people who remember what the news said two years ago and comparing it to what they say now! Can't have people with good memories! But yeah, it does shoot the series in the foot kind of, and I understand the reasoning behind why things were done the way they were! I just don't agree with it most of the time.

It's even funnier when you realize that it's not a year and a half evenly spread out, it's one mission his first year with five months before summer, one that summer, and seven his second year. Eight if you want to count SSGS and SSBI as different missions (I go back and forth as to whether or not I do). It's so funny. Please give poor Ben a break.

And yes! Ben is actually so much more competent than people seem to give him credit for sometimes. It's just that his skill set tends to be less flashy and useful in battle scenes, but he's very much the chess master of the group. He's the one planning and strategizing, and all the karate moves in the world aren't going to do you any good if you can't actually foil the plans.

My reasoning for why I'm okay with the age gap is because the narrative treats them as equals who are more or less in the same place in life. Like, yes she's two classes ahead of him, but for all intents and purposes, they're teamed up together constantly with others in Ben's class and I think Erica is the only one we really know about in her class (can't remember Chip's age, but he might be? idk, doesn't really matter). It's never dwelt on, and it bothers me when people try to make a deal about it! Like, they're not going to be in the same place in their lives forever. It's high school. Almost no one marries the person they dated in high school. I've long held that they'd break up sometimes after Erica graduates and starts her adult life while Ben is still in school (or something similar depending on how Mr. Gibbs decides to do things moving forward).

[lonenovus]

7 Years - [A short story]

Genre tags: realistic fiction; mlm romance Word count: 1,554 Summary: It's been seven years since Bach broke up with Dominic; seven years since Dominic last messaged Bach with an olive branch; seven years since either one had even spoken to one another. In seven years, a lot can change. But, something new can start with a single message. Content warning: None

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Hey. How are you?

The little gray bubble felt mocking in a way. The longer he stared, the more he thought it would disappear. It had to be a misclick, right? It had been years; far too many years. Dominic was half sure Bach had killed himself during the time.

Yet, it never went away.

The number was new; he didn’t recognize it, but then again, Dominic may not have put Bach’s number back into his phone. He had been trying to leave the past after all.

And it would be so easy to just ignore it. Maybe Bach would think he changed numbers, maybe he would give up. There were too many possibilities, starting with the fact that it might not even be Bach in the first place.

Like he said, it’s been years. Almost seven, to be exact.

But there was no one else it could be.

…A risk would have to do.

I’m sorry, who is this?

You don’t have my number saved?

Depends I got a new phone recently, so a lot of contacts got lost. Yours might have been one of them. Ohhh, yeah, that makes sense. It’s Bach

And there it was: the reveal he had been dreading. The question now was, does he go with it? Or does he pretend not to know? Neither were great, but at least if things went sour, Dominic could fall asleep with some dignity intact. But Dominic was the one to open the door, to extend the olive branch, all those years ago. How could he fault someone for taking him up on an offer?

Ah How have you been? Eh, pretty shitty. I got my GED tho, so that’s cool.

Yea, it is, congrats!

He paused, considering his next message.

I’m proud of you

Aw, really?

Of course. I’ve always been proud of you

Heh, thanks But what about you? Whatcha doing right now? Oh, uh, just getting ready for bed, nothing too special Pfffff, man those old man genes must be hitting you hard if you sleeping at 8pm Oh, uhhhh I’m not I’m not in New York anymore.

What?

Yeaa, I actually moved. So I live and work here now?

Wait what???? You moved????? Where?????? I live in London. Cute place, can't really go wrong with it Oh... What’s wrong? I just... didn’t expect you to move Eh, it’s fine. I’m guessing you're still in Colorado so it's a... what? 7 hour difference? That seems so long- Eh, can’t do much about it. Seven years is even longer. Right...

The messages stopped. He could carry on but… was that the right thing to do? Bach left for a reason. He was back for a reason. Money, loneliness, sex.

For some reason, love seemed like the least likely culprit. 

If he really loved him, why had it taken seven years? Why did he leave in the first place? He was so quick to block him, so quick to pretend like he didn’t exist. He hadn’t even seemed hurt or heartbroken. But now he was here. Did Dominic even still love him?

…It was hard to tell.

Why’d it take you so long?

Huh?

Don’t play dumb, mate.

It’s been seven years. Seven years, and not a single peep. So you want something from me. Have a hole to fill? Figured I’d take you in a heartbeat? No no Nothing like that I swear

Well it seems a bit suspicious, Bach.

Please, I don’t want to fight. Not not again

Then give me a fucking answer. Give me an actual fucking answer other than “I’m giving you space to heal from me” Because out of everything you could have done, Bach, that was the last fucking thing I needed

Bach was silent for a moment.

I see you haven’t changed. You still lash out, you still don’t know how to fucking communicate

Don’t *you* fucking dare come to me about not changing. I bet you still get high every night. I bet you still run every time someone tries to bring up issues and you refuse to fucking have a conversation. I have changed plenty, Bach. But you cannot come back suddenly, after *seven* years and expect me to treat you the same. You broke my trust. You broke my heart. You left and shattered every part of me without giving a single shit. I have a fucking right to be angry. To be hurt. I wasn’t great to you either, I know; I lashed out and started arguments, and ended up hurting you when I didn’t mean to, but I was trying so hard, Bach. You didn’t even put forth the effort for the one thing I requested. You refused to talk to me, to tell me what I could do for you. When I needed your help, your support, your reassurance- you disappeared. You ghosted me and ignored me. I was your partner, hell, I was your *fiance*. I was the one person who was supposed to matter more than anything to you. And you couldn’t give less of a shit about me. I figured out my issues, Bach. And I got better, for the most part. But it would have been so much easier if you were still there by my side, so maybe I could have explained what I found out to you, so maybe you could understand and we could have strengthen our relationship It’s been seven years I have every right to be hurt, to be angry So don’t you *dare* berate me for lashing out this time.

The chat was silent once more. Maybe he decided to leave again. Or block him again. Regardless, if this was how Bach decided best to crawl back, Dominic wasn’t having it. 

After a few beats, he moved towards Bach's contact, about to hit the block button, until:

You’re right. I’m sorry.

He waited. For what exactly, he wasn’t entirely sure. Maybe for him to elaborate? A paragraph about how much he meant to him, that he regretted everything he had done in the past? Maybe begging for Dominic’s forgiveness, promising everything and anything to give him one more shot.

But…

Seven years was a long time to go back to what they once were. They had both changed. Hell, Dominic had even moved to a whole other country. He had a new life, a stable job, and a little cottage in the countryside. 

If long distance had been rough before, when they were merely across the country from one another; this would be impossible.

It couldn’t work. They could try, but it would fail again.

Dominic didn’t want to tear open those old scars again… Except he did.

He wanted Bach back, that had never changed. There was still a dull ache when the thought of him crossed his mind. But maybe it wouldn’t work. Maybe each of them had changed too much for it to work.

Dominic watched the chat, wondering if he would receive something more.

And?

And what?

Is that it? Mate, you messaged for a reason.

Right, right

The chat was silent once again. Dominic could feel his agitation spiking. He was tired, he was upset, he was feeling so many things that he did not want to be feeling right now. If Bach wasn’t going to spit it out, and they were just going to keep running in circles, he wanted no part in it.

Bach, no offense, but I did mean it when I was getting ready for bed. We’ve been at this for an hour, and it’s almost 2am. I had work today, and I have work tomorrow, so I really need to sleep. So if you’re not gonna spit it out, I’m gonna be conking out, okay?

Right... sorry Uh I’ll let you get some sleep Night, Dominic

He stared at the screen. Part of his brain was screaming, enraged: ‘Liar, traitor, liar, coward, liar, traitor, coward, liar.’ Even after all of that back and forth, he couldn’t just say it. But the other part, the one that was still obsessed, still hopeful, left its two-cents: ‘If he didn’t care, he would have blocked you the moment you lashed out. Hear him out, see what he wants. You know how difficult he can be.’

Good night, Bach Just Whatever the fuck you want, tell me in the morning If you haven’t blocked me again, that is We’ll have a proper conversation when I am not tired as fuck and having difficulty with preventing emotional outbursts. Skills don’t work well when I’m too tired to focus

Of course Sleep well

Dominic turned off his phone and placed it on the charger, settling down to pull the blankets up to his chin. It would be a long conversation, reserved for a moment where they both had time to talk. A long and honest and open conversation.

Well, as long as Bach didn’t get cold feet and decide to backtrack.

True, he didn’t really know what Bach wanted, but he clung to the hope that this was a second chance. Maybe they could do it right this time. Maybe they would get that happily ever after. And with those thoughts, he drifted to sleep, never hearing his phone buzz with one last notification.

I love you.

[End]

[archivalofsins]

Wanna see the funniest thread of texts to wake up to ever-

It's either go back to college and get the psych degree or do what you're doing but not like that. The average viewer would go,

"Does she know what you're doing?"

The answer to that is yes, kinda, I think she does. I told her that I already talk about Milgram online and plan to make videos about it. So, I have to assume she knows.

Oh then no problem-

She does not want it to be about Milgram and is basically asking me to do intermediate counseling similar to an advice column in a daily newspaper. Something that came about yesterday. Because we were having a conversation about media due to discussing Milgram. A work she has deemed inappropriate for kids and society.

After she explained why she believed that which I explained,

"The complaints you have aren't about the media but media literacy as a whole. A piece of media can only go as far as the person viewing it allows it to."

This led to a conversation about the younger generation, which again tied back to media literacy. Then I woke up to these after do not disturb cut off at seven in the morning. Just to think,

"Boy, do I have a surprise for you-"

Wait, hold on to stop admitting you were at the devil's sacrament to our mother each time you talk to her. She looked up the series last night and is baptist we are going to get it, bro. Literally shut up about Milgram for ten seconds, I'm begging- Yeah, well, beg harder- because this task keeps getting failed.

I fully plan to bring it up when I go to clean at my grandma's house Friday. Vacuuming my grandma's room,

"Grandma, do you think there's anything that can justify or excuse someone killing another person?"

Our sweet old grandma (80s), whose first love is religion, and did volunteer work at our family church up into her seventies probably would say,

"No, though I'd suppose it'd depend on the circumstances."

She would also probably laugh at the question. The family response to Milgram has consistently been well- I have to know why they did it first to judge it. Like elaborate. Or in my mom's case oh that's so dark the things your generation gets into I swear. I like to ask my family's opinion on this stuff because I just genuinely want to know, and it makes for good discussion.

Since my family members are all very opinionated people. Except for my older brother, he's very chill and just usually lets the characters get away with it because whatever it is simply is not his business. Talking to people with various different circumstances on what they think about milgram is very interesting. Because half the time I can just go ah I see why you see it that way. Like my mom was like,

"Well, how can you prove her murder wasn't the abortion?" In regards to Yuno because her first song doesn't show anyone else there. Then I said there are other people implied to be involved, though. She again said implied but not shown. This is without watching it, but listening to me discuss her case. Her whole thing is since we don't really see Yuno with any other people outside of the implication she is with others it could rightfully make it difficult for people to believe she's in here for killing anyone at all and it's not like abortion counts as murder so no crime has occurred here.

Then I brought up how it'd be nice if that's true but guilt by association is a thing. We know at least several people within Milgram have killed directly and one bluntly asks why someone would bring a bunch of acquitted murderers together. For any of them to be acquitted evidence of a crime or at least probable cause something that ultimately implies the death of a living person has transpired for one would be needed to take them to court at all.

Now this character could be lying but the character that the stand in for the audience is subordinate to says if this was just about the law then we wouldn't need to be here. Making it more like that Kazui is telling the truth about the acquitted part. Since if they were all legally acquitted of any wrong doing already then if we were just going by modern law we would not need to be here. Abortion is also still legal in Japan so they couldn't criminally charge Yuno for using one of her legal rights. That'd be odd.

At which point she went, yeah, given that information, it does become more questionable if abortion is her crime or not and I wouldn't really think it was myself but still this all so dark. It's like it's teaching people how to get away with murder. Circling into what we discussed at the beginning of this post.

Though it was a really fun conversation. Also, no- I haven't told my mom about Mikoto. I would like to tentatively know peace.

[t4tprinzzy]

Solar Eclipse

Chapter One: Making a Mess of Things

hey i hope y’all like this!! im scared to start posting it ngl but i wrote all seven chapters of this in like thirty six hours and it’s surprisingly good for something written in a hyperfocused frenzy lmao

also janus may or may not be a touch out of character at certain points but ive always struggled with writing him so pls forgive

Summary: In a drunken stupor, Janus confesses to Patton that he's in love with both Roman and Logan. When things spiral out of control from there, how will he keep his feelings in check?

Characters: Janus, Patton, Logan (mentioned), Roman (mentioned)

Pairing(s): endgame roloceit, focus on janus’s attraction to logan and roman in this chapter

Warnings: alcohol use and a drunk character, and i think that’s it but tell me if i missed something!

Word count: 1,721

~

Janus sighed into his wine glass as he took another sip. It was getting late, he should go to bed soon. He didn't care too much at the moment, if he was honest for once. He could spend another half hour wallowing.

He didn't know how it happened, but he had fallen quite deeply in love with not one, but two of his fellow Sides.

It started with Logan. He tried to deny it at first, hoping that if he paid no attention to his feelings, they wouldn't flourish. However, that hope was quickly squashed, as he soon found himself gazing so fondly at Logan, who was talking about something he'd learned recently, which let Janus know his feelings wouldn't dissipate any time soon.

Then, much more recently, he couldn't stop smiling when Roman sang along with a Disney song during movie night some time ago. That tipped him off to the fact that he had very sudden feelings for Roman as well.

Feelings were truly unfair.

Thinking about all this, Janus downed the last of his wine and refilled the glass.

"Janus?"

Janus whirled around to see Patton standing at the entrance to the kitchen, wearing a sky blue pajama set. The sudden action left his brain swimming, and he groaned in discomfort.

"Patton? What brings you here?"

"I always do a quick check to make sure everyone's in their rooms around this time. Well, okay, mostly Virgil, but I've had to remind Logan and Roman of the time on occasion too."

Janus smirked. That sounded about right.

"I take it you're gonna drag me to bed?"

"I wouldn't say drag. More like... gently nudge?"

Janus scoffed. "Just let me finish this glass, and I'll be on my way."

"Oh, yeah, sure thing. You want some company? I bet drinking that stuff is way more fun with a friend."

Janus still couldn't believe they were friends. It was surreal to say the least.

"If you'd like."

Patton walked up to the table and sat across from Janus. Janus noticed the way he stared at the bottle and grinned.

"You wanna try it?"

Patton looked at Janus, his eyes widened. "Oh, uh, I don't know. I've never had anything like this before, I don't know if I'll like it."

Janus hummed. "Depending on the wine, it can be... bitter. I think you'd like port wine, though. It's a dessert wine."

Patton grinned. "Ooh, that sounds sweet!"

Janus summoned a bottle of rosé port wine and poured it in an appropriate glass.

"Do you like berries?" he asked.

"Yeah, I love berries!"

"Good. Rosé port has a strong berry flavor." Janus set the bottle down and held out the glass. "Would you like to try it?"

Patton seemed to give it some thought, and Janus was patient with him. This was a big decision, especially for a Side like Patton.

"And you're sure I'll like it?"

"While I can't guarantee anything, this is the type of wine I think suits your tastes. Don't worry if you don't like it, I understand that any sort of alcohol is... an acquired taste."

Patton took a quick breath. "Alright. Sure, why not? The worst that could happen is I don't like it, right?"

Technically the worst that could happen is Patton loves it to the point of developing an addiction, but Janus figured saying that would only stress him out.

"Sure."

Patton took the glass, adjusting his hold on it a couple times. He held it so that the stem went between his fingers and he held it from the bottom. "Is this how you hold it?"

Janus grinned. "I'm not sure there's a wrong way of holding it."

Patton nodded, staring at the drink. Janus took a sip of his own drink as he waited.

Patton surprised him a bit when he suddenly took a very quick drink of the wine, downing all of it in one go. His nose scrunched up as he swallowed it.

"Those berries are powerful."

Janus chuckled. "I told you the flavor was strong. So... do you not like it?"

Patton paused, considering. "No, it's good. It just caught me off guard a bit, that's all."

"Well, I'm glad you like it." Janus drank the last of his own wine. "I suppose we should head back to our rooms."

"Yeah, sounds good. Am I drunk yet?"

Janus snorted. "I'd say probably not. Even you can survive a tiny glass of wine."

Patton nodded. "Alright. Okay, yeah, let's go to bed."

Janus waved a hand to clear the table of the wine and glasses. He got to his feet and nearly stumbled back into his chair.

"You okay?" Patton asked as he stood up, putting a hand on Janus's shoulder.

The room was moving.

"I... may have overestimated myself tonight."

"How much did you drink?"

"Um... I'm not sure. I was thinking really hard about something and just... stopped keeping track."

"Do you need help getting to your room?"

Janus hated asking for help. He felt vulnerable asking for help. Though he hated to admit it, at this moment, he technically was vulnerable.

"Maybe," he finally responded.

Patton let Janus lean on him a bit as they made their way to Janus's room. Patton would praise him every few steps, and he hated how much his ego absolutely devoured it.

As they got closer to his room, he only got more and more intoxicated, as the alcohol coursed through his body. He hated getting this drunk, it was embarrassing.

Randomly, thoughts of Roman and Logan floated back into his head. He wondered what they were doing. Were they asleep or working late? He hoped they were asleep, they needed to take care of themselves.

They passed Logan's room on the way to his own, and he tried to stop.

"What? What is it?" Patton asked.

"D'you think Logan's up?" he asked, words slurring together. "We should hang out with Logan."

"No, no, kiddo, it's a bit late for that," Patton said amusedly. What was so funny?

"What about Roman? He's fun."

"Tell you what, kiddo, if you get to bed and sleep for at least eight hours, we can hang out with Logan and Roman all day long tomorrow."

Janus pumped a fist in the air. "Yes!"

"Shhh!" Patton shushed. He was laughing, though. What was he laughing at?

Finally, they reached Janus's door. Patton opened it and led him inside.

"Y'know somethin'?" Janus asked.

"Yeah, kiddo?" Patton replied as he helped Janus get into bed.

"I think... Logan and Roman... would be the cutest couple."

Patton grinned. "Oh, really?"

Janus nodded. "Mhm. I mean, they butt heads a lot, but they always come to an understanding in the end, y'know? They work good together."

Patton nodded. "Hm. Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Kind of a shame, though," Janus murmured.

"What do you mean?"

"I just really like Logan and Roman."

The weight of what Janus just said didn't hit him in his drunken state.

"Oh," Patton said softly. Then his eyes went wide. "Oh!"

Janus fumbled with his covers, trying to get under them.

"Oh, kiddo, don't you wanna get dressed first?"

Janus looked down at his usual outfit, complete with capelet. He looked back up at Patton with furrowed brows. "I am dressed."

"Dressed for bed."

Janus sighed. "I mean, sure, if you think it's necessarily necessary."

"Okay, I'll get you some clothes, you stay right there."

Janus flashed him a grin and a thumbs up.

Patton went through his dresser drawers in search of clothes. Drunk Janus was pretty sure Sober Janus would be having heart palpitations knowing someone was looking through his stuff, but Drunk Janus was too busy staring at his hands to care.

"Patton, why're my hands yellow?" he mumbled.

"Those are gloves, Janus," Patton informed him.

"Oh, yeah."

"Now, kiddo, about, uh... you liking Logan and Roman, are you sure you wanted to tell me that?"

Janus finally looked over at Patton. "What do you mean?"

Patton closed a drawer and stood back up with some clothes in hand. "I just mean... well, you're very... secretive. And that seems like something... well, honestly, it seems like something you'd take to your grave."

Janus supposed his feelings for them would normally bring him stress and guilt and embarrassment. Right now, however, he felt like confessing to them. Maybe reciting a poem if he had time.

He shrugged. "I dunno. I mean... sometimes I just... feel like exploding 'cause of my feelings. And saying it out loud feels better. And right now I wanna say it out loud. I love them. I have for a while. They make me feel... like I can do anything in the world. I don't think they'd ever return my feelings, but it's fine. I've made peace with it."

"Oh, Janus," Patton murmured. "Listen, why don't you get dressed, get some sleep, and we can talk about this more tomorrow?"

Janus felt a jolt of fear as he looked up at Patton. "You're leaving me, aren't you?"

Patton blinked a few times. "Do you... not want me to?"

Janus shook his head. "You're making the bad feelings stop."

Patton took in a shaky breath. "Oh. Of course I can stay with you, as long as you need me to."

Janus smiled. "Good. Thank you."

"No problem."

Janus managed to get dressed on his own, which he was thankful for even in his drunken state. He plopped down on his bed, trying and failing to tuck himself in.

He then looked over at Patton, who had turned his back while Janus got dressed.

"You gonna sleep?" Janus asked.

Patton turned around and cleared his throat. "Uh... should I summon an inflatable mattress or something?"

"There's plenty of bed in this bed," Janus assured. "Unless you're not comfy with that."

Patton paused for a moment. "I'm comfy with it if you're comfy with it."

Janus made grabby hands at Patton.

Patton slowly and awkwardly made his way over to the bed. He got in, and Janus was quick to cuddle him. He chuckled softly.

"Are you always this clingy when you're drunk?"

"The question is, am I always this drunk when I'm clingy? And the answer... yeah, probably."

Patton chuckled again. "Get some sleep, kiddo."

Janus didn't need to be told twice.

[greatwyrmgold]

So I was watching DiploStrats's newest video last night, commentary on an Imperial Diplomacy game.

The first thing about Imperial Diplomacy is, it's big. Normal Diplomacy has seven players struggling to control 34 supply centers in 75 provinces (counting sea zones) covering Europe plus bits of Africa and Asia. The newest Imperial Diplomacy map has 24 players fighting over 334 supply centers in 765 provinces, covering the entire world. If you're not an imperial power like England or the Dutch, you can probably ignore half the map without much issue.

Another thing about Imperial Diplomacy is its victory condition. If you want a solo win, you don't need to control more than half of the board's supply centers. You just have to reach a smaller number (28-64, depending on how strong your start is), while still holding your capital and also being far ahead of everyone else. Alternatively, multiple powers can all reach or exceed that victory threshold and agree to share the victory, as long as all of them hold their capitals and no one else is close to their victory threshold.

I'm fudging the details (for instance, the rules don't distinguish between solo and joint victories), but those are the relevant points for this post. Because Ezio (one of DiploStrats's hosts) doesn't like that about Imperial Diplomacy.

Ezio's Opinion

In normal Diplomacy, you need to apply with another player to avoid getting crushed by another alliance, but you can't win without stabbing them in the back. This means that Diplomacy is a balancing act; every unit positioned to defend against your ally's stab (or to stab them in the future) is an army that can't take new supply centers (or defend against players you aren't allied with). It's an unavoidable fact of playing Diplomacy, unless you can leverage close personal relationships or the other players' blunders into a winning strategy.

Imperial Diplomacy is not like that. There are so many supply centers that your initial alliance can all reach their supply center goals without any stabbing needed, and a joint victory isn't treated differently than solo. Heck, there are enough supply centers that you might be able to win alongside your allies and some of your enemies! We know it's possible because Ezio does exactly that in the game linked above.

If you can plausibly win alongside your allies, there's no need to backstab them. You can more or less trust your allies with your back, with a token force to slow any stabs, if that. The whole dynamic of balancing expansion against anti-ally defenses vanishes. And to Ezio, that's a core part of the Diplomacy which Imperial Diplomacy is weaker for lacking.

My Opinion

I...don't exactly disagree with Ezio's assessment. I'm more of a Diplomacy spectator than a Diplomacy player, but even in that specific Imperial Diplomacy game, the parts where Ezio makes and breaks temporary alliances with other players were way more interesting than the parts where he works together with the Inuit and Shoshone players.

The thing is, I think that's just the price you have to pay when playing on a map like this.

Imagine that, as with the standard Diplomacy map, victory requires reaching half-plus-one supply centers. The thing is, that's 168 supply centers, more than 2½ times the victory threshold for any country in Imperial Diplomacy. Imagine you're in a game that's not quite won; one player has 150-something supply centers, a couple more have 70 or 80, and the other thirty-ish centers are controlled by a handful of surviving small countries.

The thing is, some of those "small countries" are already near or at the upper limit of a normal Diplomacy game. If you have a dozen supply centers and a dozen units in normal Diplomacy, you're well on your way to a solo win. In Imperial Diplomacy, that makes you a small fry.

And Diplomacy doesn't scale gracefully. In (for instance) Crusader Kings II, a war between empires with hundreds of thousands of soldiers on each side is not radically different from one between counts with hundreds of soldiers. You'll probably need to split up your army, but you won't need to manage a thousand times as many independent units. Diplomacy isn't built that way.

In Diplomacy, you have to order every unit individually. Figuring out the best way to move a dozen units around a simplified Europe is a lot different than figuring out the best way to move around fifty-odd units spread across three or four not-fully-separate theaters of war plus several more scattered around the globe.

Maybe ordering 150 units around the world wouldn't be too much of a hassle if there was a WebDiplomacy equivalent, some GUI for easily submitting orders. But there isn't. As far as I'm aware, you just send the gamemaster orders via Discord and hope you didn't forget any units or misread any adjacencies or typo something badly enough that an order was mangled.

And even if you don't need to worry about that kind of mistake, ordering 150 units around means making 150 decisions and typing 150 orders. It just seems unpleasant.

Also, if one guy has 150 supply centers, the rest of the board has to play really well to overtake the leader. When one player is that far ahead, is there a point to playing farther? Or should the victory conditions acknowledge that they've basically already won at that point?

Of course, reducing the victory requirement to 150 centers means it's narrowly possible for two allies to reach the victory condition together, no stabs required. Stabs would make it easier, of course—but by the same token, being able to demilitarize your border entirely means more units to conquer the rest of the world!

And at the same time, all my arguments about a 150-center power apply almost as well to one with 140 centers, or 125, or 100. But lowering the victory threshold makes it easier for two players to split the victory, and eventually possible to fit a third in there.

To preserve the truly inevitable betrayal, you need to accept that players will need to control substantial fractions of the map's available supply centers (and correspondingly large masses of units). To keep army size under control, you need to make it possible for multiple players to reach the victory threshold, which makes betrayals more and more evitable.

The only solution to this problem is to reduce the map size. Now, a large map is what allows 24 players to play at the same time, and that's like 80-90% of the appeal of Imperial Diplomacy.

Another 5-10% is being able to play colonial empires spread around the globe, and halving the number of provinces can mess with that. If we halve the number of provinces and SCs, such that e.g. the Dutch start with seven SCs and need 56 to win, some nuance would be lost; what to do with the Dutch colony of Ceylon, for instance?

But if stable alliances are a problem you want to solve, you need to shrink the map or bloat the armies.

[cksmart-world]

SMART BOMB

The Completely Unnecessary News Analysis

By Christopher Smart

December 12, 2023

TOP 10 LITMUS TESTS FOR REPUBLICANS

10. Guns — Be sure to declare the 2nd Amendment is sacred.

9. Abortion — Always say we're protecting pre-born people (never say zygote).

8. Gay marriage — Keep repeating, God said marriage is between a man and a woman. (Extra-marital affairs don't count, especially oral sex.)

7. Donald Trump — Focus on his leadership skills, such as insults and bullying. And emphasize his business acumen, feign ignorance about his fraud trial and sex assault.

6. Biden didn't win — You must say Trump won or you're toast. Say this: There were voting irregularities and there's plenty of proof.

5. All Muslims are terrorists — Play to white fears. Remember, Santa and Jesus are white. Maybe the workforce is a bit thin, but do you want your daughter to marry a terrorist.

4. Climate Change is B.S. — Another liberal ploy to sell electric cars and deadly windmills that kill whales. Your shares of Shell Oil could go in the dumper, do you want that.

3. Dictatorships aren't that bad — And look, it just for the one day. Don't listen to Steve Bannon, Trump is not following the play book of Benito Mussolini — well, not exactly.

2. Taxing the rich — Just say redistribution of wealth is a communist, welfare ploy. The rich are job creators and everyone wants a job except Democrats.

Taylor Swift — The libs are weaponizing mega-star Taylor Swift. She's on the cover of Time magazine, dances around in those sparkly, sequined swimsuits and she tells her fans to vote. How bad can it get.

WHEN DID YOU STOP SUPPORTING TERRORISTS

The House Committee of Inquisition convened in a special session to determine if student terrorists were spreading propaganda regarding the presence of Popsicles on elite campuses where leftists have made life sticky for normal white people. With brutal questioning, Rep. Elise Stephanic, R-N.Y., demanded to know whether “Fat Albert” Saturday morning cartoons violated school policies. “It all depends,” answered Dean Nomee Nadda of Who Dat University. Stephanik warned the dean that she was under oath. Universities should be forums for free inquiry, Nadda replied, except when they're not. That's a yes or no question, Stephanic snapped, and I don't like your attitude. We're trying to score political points up here, she said, and we don't want actual answers. The Who Dat dean offered a clarification: Popsicles are protected by the Constitution. Rep. Burgess Owens, R-Utah, jumped in wondering aloud why elite universities teach Critical Race Theory and if it along with diversity, equity and inclusion initiatives were linked to rising levels of anti-Popsicleism. Well congressman, Nadda said, I just want to convey whatever I need to say about Popsicles so I won't get fired for defending free speech.

7 WAYS TO LIVE BETTER THIS WINTER

Alright Wilson, The Washington Post has thrown down the gauntlet with its feature, “7 Ways to Live Healthier This Winter.” For example, number four on their list is “Groom the Dog,” because they bring in dust and mites. Mites! Yikes! Number seven is “Upgrade Your Footwear,” which is a no-brainer, but some folks don't have much between their ears, let alone their toes. Not to be outdone, the staff here at Smart Bomb put together our list for a better winter. 1 – Stock up at the liquor store. This saves trips on dangerous icy roads where Utah drivers could slide into you. 2 – Join AAA because your battery is gonna die at least half a dozen times and you don't have jumper cables. 3 – Buy jumper cables. 4 – Get electric socks. Eliminate this step if you are one of those people who wear flip-flops all winter — in which case, call your therapist. 5 – Keep a plastic urinal under the driver's seat for when Foothill Blvd. turns into a parking lot on snowy days at rush hour or when you're just not going to make it home in time from Happy Hour. 6 – Do not get wasted in the hot tub, it could lead to drowning. Ignore this if you want to get rid of a significant other. 7 – And to guarantee a winter wonderland, sign up for the new illustrated Kama Sutra newsletter for a more... spiritual season.

Post script — That's going to do it for another super-duper week here at Smart Bomb where we keep track of free speech so you don't have to. In the now famous words of Rep. Elise Stephanic, R-New York, to former University of Pennsylvania President Liz Magill, who resigned under pressure, Why haven't you stopped students from calling for the genocide of Jews? Meanwhile, Elon Musk restored the account of Alex Jones to X (Twitter). The radio host conspiracy theorist has said many times that the murders of 20 six- and seven-year-olds and six adults at Sandy Hook Elementary was a hoax. During his four years as president, The Washington Post catalogued more than 38,000 of Trump's false and misleading statements. Trump has targeted Muslims, Mexicans, Syrian refugees, Africans, congresswomen of color and Black athletes, among others. Recently, Trump called for the execution of Gen. Mark Milley, the former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. During all this the only thing coming from Ms. Stephanic was the sound of her lips smacking Trump's rosy-red German ass.

Speaking of winter, Wilson (clever segue), it's going to be cold and snowy, but if folks focus on Smart Bomb's “7 Ways to Live Better This Winter” it will be much more enjoyable. So we know you and the guys in the band have something that's going to put us in the mood — so hit it, Wilson:

And when God gave out rhythm He sure was good to you You can add, subtract, multiply and divide By two I know today's your birthday And I did not buy no rose But I wrote this song instead and I call it "Popsicle Toes" Popsicle toes Popsicle toes are always froze Popsicle toes You're so brave to expose all those popsicle toes You must have been Miss Pennsylvania With all this pulchritude How come you always load your Pentax When I'm in the nude? You got the nicest North America This sailor ever saw I'd like to feel your warm Brazil And touch your Panama But your Tierra del Fuegos Are nearly always froze We gotta see saw Until we unthaw those Popsicle toes Popsicle toes Popsicle toes are always froze Popsicle toes You're so brave to expose all those popsicle toes

(Popsicle Toes — Michael Franks)

[sameschmidtdiffname]

Johanna is 100% the filthiest, but the close runner up I honestly feel like is Peeta, and I'm not even saying that to be funny.

Peeta is a sweetheart. An angel. A froofy poofy scrumptious little kitten baby meow meow poodle boy. When he's not in public, he cusses like a fuckin' dog. Not even to be crude! I don't think he'd even realize he's cursing half the time. Like he would drop a spoon or something and just go "Fuck." And if someone scolded him or told him he cursed he would just go "Oh shit, did I?" Again, not realizing it. We all heard about his household, you can't tell me they did not curse inbetween ever other word there. His momma was chef Gordon Ramsey, change my mind. (Spoiler: you won't.)

Haymitch is third in place, which is still high but surprisingly low for him. I feel like Effie would keep him in line with at least half decent manners. Really, it kinda depends on how drunk he is. Sober Haymitch rarely cusses, drunk drunk Haymitch doesn't use any other language, really.

Finnick was fourth. RIP🕊

Gale I feel like would be like one of those people who uses swears to emphasize his point. Like he cusses regularly, but when he's passionate about something he starts kinda fluffing them on, like "That's fucking bad" instead of "That's bad." It has a somewhat 12 year old/frat boy quality to it, like Jojo Siwa. No disrespect, just an acknowledgment.

Katniss would be used to censoring herself due to Prim and just in general being quiet, but after the war when she's tired of keeping up a public image and there's no young ones nearby to hear her, she will make it quite known that she is "out of fucks to give." Honestly?? I think she's that kind of person that won't curse around a new acquaintance for the longest time and then when you finally hear her curse it is a really dramatic "FUCK!" After she cuts herself while skinning a rabbit or something, and you're just really shocked but in that supportive friend way like "Hell yeah!! Be comfortable cursing around me friend!! I will now start cursing to support you!!"

That friend is Delly at number seven.

Number eight we have got Madge. Did got Madge.🕊 RIP girlie, you would've loved 'Good Luck, Babe!' By Chappell Roan.

Prim and Mrs. Everdeen are tied for ninth. They would both have their reasons for not cursing, Mrs. Everdeen being she respects proper manners and was raised to act decent (I think that's even touched on in the books.) I can't imagine she would view cursing as appropriate by any means at all. And Prim would have the wolves clawing at her throat between her mother and Katniss if she even uttered a "Damn." However, when they're working on a dying patient I would think that goes out the windows so slightly, and they'd just start using whatever English comes out of their mouth first without a care what they or anyone else says.

And finally, at number ten, we have the ever so lady like Effie Trinket. Who keeps everyone else in line and absolutely detests foul language. However, like a Southern Baptist grandmother, she would absolutely find the most creative loopholes that would not technically count as swears, but would be said with such hatred and contempt that it would still make everyone pause as if she just screamed "CUNT!" at full volume in a crowded store.

Personally, I think whenever someone curses in the books with some light word like "stinking," that's just Suzanne (or Katniss if you subscribe to my memoir theory,) censoring the actual statement of that characters so thr editors/public wouldn't have a cow. Hijacked Peeta did not use the word 'stinking' in actuality when screaming his head off about Katniss, I'm sorry. I'm going to always believe he screamed the most vile, potential slur about her imaginable that would make everyone shit if it was revealed. But that's just a theory.

very important question.

cursing and THG characters. Who curses. Who doesn't curse? What are their favorite curses? Who is the FILTHIEST and why ISNT it Johanna?

[trans-axian-archive]

If The Untamed had gotten one (1) wangxian kiss scene, where you put it? (ignoring like any other canon of course) Personally, I say either like during that snowy scene in LWJ's mom's house OR Lan Wanji just kissing Wei Wuxian at Carp Tower when Wei Wuxian had just been rediscovered as alive. You know, to shove it in Jin Mengyao's face.

UGH okay I have a few ideas!! those are both v good options esp since I think Something definitely happened after that snowy scene (there's actually a fic that I really like that explores that concept right here).. other good placements include:

- in the last ep when they're going their separate ways on the cliff. like very comfortable and tender and familiar, implying that this is not their first kiss or a love confession - they are going to be apart for a little while and they love each other and this is just what they do. just a soft sweet little press of the lips like "I'll see you when I get back, take care, I love you" not meant to be like a big heavy monumental moment just... they love each other and they know and have acknowledged this so they're giving each other a kiss

- the boat scene!! maybe just after wei wuxian wakes up and he's lying in lan wangjis lap n they're just like. gazing at each other lovingly... maybe after lan wangji picks the lotus pod for wei wuxian. the only issue w this option is that this scene is just so like,, tender and intimate that I imagine it being a little more passionate than just a lil peck on the lips and wen ning is like Right there 1) he's already third wheeling so hard in that scene I don't want to put the poor man through any more that he already has to, and 2) wangxian would definitely be shameless and physically affectionate around people but I don't think that (at least in cql canon) they'd just like. Make Out in front of people esp their friends/family? n there are some.. uncomfortable implications that go along with that anyway

- if we'd like to get Sad with it then the scene when they're parting after lan wangji visits wei wuxian in yiling (there is literally a child right there so it wouldn't be anything particularly Intense). it both makes their fight at nevernight all the more tragic and makes the years wei wuxian was dead more devastating for lan wangji because he would Know with confirmation that wei wuxian loved him back in the same way but... they missed their chance and it would probably make lan wangji feel even more like he'd failed wei wuxian. it also makes the implication of that scene and wei wuxian telling a yuan that lan wangji probably isn't coming back because "everyone has their own path to walk" feel more tragic and finite. by having them kiss right before they go their separate ways it's like wei wuxian is saying goodbye for good, like, "I wanted to do this, to say this one thing, while we still have the chance to. goodbye, I love you" its a goodbye kiss not in the sense of "I will see you again" but a goodbye kiss in the sense of "I will never see you again" like kissing somebody right before you die as they hold you in their arms

- in yi city Right after they say goodbye to song lan n they stare after him and look at each other like we are so fortunate that we got to find each other again... they both sorta just realize at the same time that they cannot waste this second chance that they have, unbelievably, been given. it's a sacred thing and it would be disservice to not do all of the things they want to do and say all of the things they want to say. I think this option has the best opportunity for a pre kiss conversation... maybe this is the moment they outright say "I love you" and like.. I'm glad I get to be with you again. this is also probably the scenario with the most intense kiss potential (aside from koi tower but we'll get to that in a moment) because they are yknow,, completely alone and can kiss each other soundly against a pole or something

- like I said I think the koi tower concept is definitely the most Intense kiss option. firstly because if they're saying fuck you to jin guangyao and everyone else, might as well make it a Big fuck you like... they're gonna make it count yknow. a sweet lil press of the lips doesn't quite carry the same weight as them kissing Soundly for a solid 20 seconds in front of a bunch of people who are prepared to stab them and think that any loyalty and affection for the Evil Terrible Unforgivable Yiling Laozu is a horrible crime. secondly that moment is already just like. incredibly emotionally charged and I cannot imagine a kiss following "the feeling of walking a single log bridge til it's dark is indeed not bad" being a brief peck on the lips. wei wuxian tells lan wangji that if everyone knows he protected and went around with wei wuxian Knowing it was him all along, lan wangjis reputation will be ruined forever. lan wangjis following speech that may as well be a love confession is not Only a love confession but also him telling wei wuxian that he doesn't care about any of that and he will follow wei wuxian wherever he goes and stay by his side not matter what. lan wangji kissing wei wuxian in front of all those people drives that home even More like... "I don't care about what any of these people think, let everyone watch as the righteous hanguangjun kisses the wretched yiling laozu, let them see how much I love you"

- bonus not kiss idea but: when wei wuxian is taking care of drunk lan wangji and they're having their little moment, lan wangji Trying to kiss wei wuxian, but wei wuxian is a gentleman and wouldn't take advantage of lan wangji like that so he just sort of very gently turns him down like nonono you are Not in a state to be doing this right now lets talk in the morning. then in the morning wei wuxian is like No You Didn't Do Anything Last Night What because right here on the street is Not the time or place to have this interaction. this could then tie into my yi city idea.. after they have their little we are so fortunate that we got to find each other again moment wei wuxian tells lan wangji what happened when he was drunk n they have their lil talk n smooch

I think with the jingshi scene a kiss actually works better Afterwards just because with the way all of it plays out, shoving a kiss inbetween any of the existing little moments kinda ruins the flow? so that would involve not adding To a scene but adding On a scene which is why I didn't elaborate on that concept. I think adding a kiss to their lil moment on phoenix mountain would both fit well into that scene/be like... narratively valuable And be a big fuck you to mxtxs weird gross unconsensual kiss. the only thing with that tho is that putting a kiss So early on changes the tone of the entire rest of the story n fucks with the plot at least a lil bit so having the kiss be there requires a lot more editing than the other scenarios for it to be successful and make it/the rest of the story still make sense

[nincompoopydoo]

LOVE IS STRANGE

PAIRING: Poe Dameron x reader WORD COUNT: 1.9k SUMMARY: The union of Ireca and Mohash may seem a typical cliche of love in comparison to your depressingly lonely state, but when a certain poster boy pilot emerges during the celebration, you wonder if love works in other underlying ways. A/N: I found this in my google docs, first written about a year ago. so, wohoo i present to you my first ever poe dameron content, i think? he's so charming and carelessly beautiful. please leave a comment and tell me what you think or what else you'll like to see from me 💖 gif by @john-seed from this gifst WARNINGS: mentions of alcohol and getting drunk, space swearing. support my writing through ko-fi💖 MASTERLIST

Love is strange. Delicate yet fierce. So forceful that it manages to seep through the cracks created by bombs and gunfire of war. Unexpected at times, appearing out of nowhere. Yet, it’s beautiful because it brings those with beautiful hearts and minds together, entangled in the constant dance of intimacy and devotion.

It’s what Ireca and Mohash have.

Ireca was from the Logistic division, a mechanic herself and your colleague. She was to be married to her long-time lover, Mohash, a flight engineer for the Cobalt Squadron. As far as cliches go, wartime love falls along the lines of a romance cliche. Yet, war was all you’ve known. It’s what everyone has ever known. It’s common to develop some kind of a feeling other than the constant emotions during battle—fondness, the feeling of falling in love with someone. It’s truly what we stay alive for.

Maybe that’s why you hate it so much. The absence of the feeling that everyone describes as so fucking amazing that it completes you. You feel empty most of the time. It’s definitely the reason why you put all your effort into fixing things you can rather than complicated problems and issues that continue to reside in your mind, especially in the wake of midnight.

You find yourself sitting by the makeshift bar, tucked away from the crowd of friends and colleagues. There’s music playing, the sound of drums, and the seven-string hallikset reminds you of your brief visit to Naboo three cycles ago. You’re nursing a warm cup of something that tastes closer to acid water than alcohol.

Ireca emerges from the crowd with flowers in her braided hair. She approaches you with a bright smile and calls out your name wistfully. You shoot a strained smile her way, feeling the bags under your eyes weigh a little more. “What are you doing here all by yourself, huh?” she asks, leaning against the bar with a gentle pat on your shoulder.

“I’m just really tired. Last night was rough. Plus, I’m behind schedule.” you sighed heavily, running your fingers through your hair. She flashed you a smile of sympathy as you continued, “I’m sorry, Ireca. Don’t let me ruin your night. Go, have fun.”

She raises an eyebrow as you take another sip from your cup.

"Go. I'm sure you don't want to miss Mohash's special performance." You gesture to a drunk Mohash, who seemed to be searching for the woman. Ireca merely laughed. "Oh, it sure is going to be special." With a gentle touch to your back and wave, you watch her make her way into the swarm of bodies. You're left alone once again.

You’re still trying to figure out how Mohash even got hold of any sort of alcohol and managed to smuggle it into the base. Someone must have nicked it during one of the previous missions in the Mid Rim.

You rub your eyes, half-awake at this point; your cup is placed beside you as you rest your head against your folded arms on the table. Your mind is in a daze and incapable of irrational thought, deciding it would be best to just camp out here, by the makeshift bar, for the night. You were too tired to drag yourself all the way to your quarters, which felt like miles away, in the first place.

As sleep began to weigh heavy upon your eyelids, you suddenly felt a sharp tap on your shoulder. A soft groan escaped your lips as you shifted your head, still resting on your arms, just enough to peek at your sleep intruder.

It’s Poe Dameron. Commander and Black Leader. Incredibly talented, confident, and effortlessly handsome.

Ugh, you hate this guy.

Yet, you don’t feel so tired anymore.

“Are you drunk?” There’s amusement in his voice with a tinge of mockery. It made you realize the stun you were pulling. Classic Dameron. It was supposed to be a happy ceremony, but it was truly Ireca’s fault for manipulating you into coming tonight. Parties, events, and social gatherings were never right up your alley. You prefer spending time with machinery and your greasy hands.

Poe’s eyes are gleaming under the fluorescent lights, filled with concern, but you spot the smugness in his emerging smile. A flash of a thought, you kind of want to feel his lips on yours. The image immediately stings. You want to gag.

Poe is irritating, arrogant, and careless. Not charming. Nope, definitely not charming.

You straighten yourself, trying to shake off the burning image, shoving it to the back of your head. You lift your head, propping your elbow on the table and resting your chin on the heel of your hand. “You actually think I’ll even touch that bantha shit?”

Tearing your eyes away from Poe, you reach for your cup only to realize it was empty. He casts you a look. Your eyes shoot daggers with an extended pointer finger his way, “Don’t you dare say anything, flyboy.”

Poe raises his palms in defense, lips pursing. “Wasn’t going to.”

You catch a glimmer of mischief in his eyes, one hand discreetly reaching under his tawny leather jacket. Then, a bottle of Corellian whiskey emerges, shining under the lights of the Resistance hangar. Your face lights up at the recognition of the bottle, memories of your rare trips to Corellia, sharing whiskey drinks with your colleagues. It was the only planet you’d been to ever since you joined the Resistance.

You’ve only tasted Corellian whiskey once because of how expensive it is. You’ll happily get drunk to that in a heartbeat. Drink the worry and sorrow away with the lingering taste of frankly exorbitant whiskey.

Like a child with grabby hands, you reach for the bottle, but as your fingers brush his, Poe quickly lifts it to the air and away from you. He smacks your hand away. You whine, feeling a little lightheaded. The contents of the mysterious drink are starting to kick in.

What the blinkin' mradhe muck was in that drink?

“What do you want from me? It’s not like I have a drinking problem.”

He’s giving you that look like he’s judging you, but with a hint of amusement at the slight tug of the corner of his mouth. “You definitely have a drinking problem, but... i'll let you drink this on one condition.”

“For kriff’s sake,” you mutter, rolling your eyes, glancing away. “I’m not doing any weird wacky favors for you, Dameron.”

He scoffs, expression bewildered. “Hey, I don’t ask for weird wacky favors,” He articulates his words with a defensive tone, index finger stretched to your face. You simply smack it away as Poe clicks his tongue and continues to clarify his proposition. “All I’m asking is for you to fix my ship.”

Your wide-eyed gaze flies to him, shaking your head furiously. “Oh, no, no. No. Never in a million cycles. Never in a million millennials. Nuh-uh—”

“Hey, quit being dramatic. It’s a simple job.”

Your eyes grow even wider, voice raising. “A simple job? You fly that ship of yours like we have hundreds of spare ones. I’m not putting all my time and effort into fixing a lost cause.”

“But you haven’t even—”

“No. I’m not fixing your ship, and that’s final.”

Poe blinks and you’re back to fussing over your empty cup. The chatter of the crowd grows louder as a group of pilots of the Cobalt Squadron began rendering verses of an unknown traditional drinking song to your ears. You steal a look to only find Ireca and Mohash amidst a dance, tangled in each other's arms.

He eyes closely, noticing the turn of your lips, trained eyes deem melancholy. He knows the face of a loner very well—usually recruits with lost family and homes. They enlist in a mass community of freedom fighters for the restoration of good in the universe, and to finally feel a sense of familiarity and belonging. He doesn’t know much about you but he knows you don’t truly have anyone to depend on but yourself. It’s the reason why you’re constantly fierce.

Poe clears his throat, shifting closer to you as he watches the way you carry your gradual gaze to hold his. They then flit to the space between the two of you, raised eyebrows acknowledging the weird close proximity of his presence to yours.

“Look, you’re the best mechanic there ever was and probably ever will be. So, fix my ship, and you get to have this Corellian beauty. All of it.” He sways the bottle in the air, but you don’t look at it.

“You know, that’s bribery.”

“Yes, and it’s working.”

You scoff. “No, it isn’t.”

Poe laughs. “Yes, it is. I can see it in your eyes.”

Another scoff, you look fully aggravated. “How dense do you think I am?”

“Oh, very, but let’s not get into that.”

Bickering was the only language the two of you spoke fluently when you found yourselves tangled in a conversation with one another. Thrown insults were spoken lies—saying you hate each other when you know that isn’t true. Well, at least you don’t mean it and you hoped Poe didn’t either.

You’re exhausted, physically and mentally. For once, kindness and acceptance seem to be the easiest route.

A sigh passes your lips as you blink up to the ceiling, sending a silent prayer for blessings from the Maker above. “You’re right. I am dense. Truly dense. So, yeah. Okay. I’ll fix that stupid X-Wing of yours.”

Poe blinks, dumbfounded. “Wait, really?”

With a roll of your eyes, they meet his very own wide ones. “Yes, really. Only because you complimented me. Now, hand me that Corellian whiskey before I change my mind.”

He then makes a sound that resonates between a cough and a pleasantly surprised laugh, eyes crinkling with delight. Poe happily and absentmindedly passes the whiskey to you, still reacting like your agreement is some sort of object of ridicule in the best way possible.

“Wow—Maker, you have no idea what kind of trouble you’re saving me from. If the General ever found out—man, pfft. Thank you. Thank you so much—”

A swift and unexpected motion, he is reaching you, palms clasp and either side of your face, and plants a quick peck on the side of your left temple.

Poe isn’t thinking straight.

There you are, mid-swig, lips so close to the rim of the bottle with eyes so wide. You steal a steady glance at the pilot whose expression seems to reflect yours. His hands are still on your cheeks. He’s unbelievably close to you and he’s staring with that stupid look of his.

‘Maker, preserve me.’

A cheer erupts from the crowd from across the space and just like that, the moment is gone. Whatever the moment even was. His touch is no longer on yours and his gaze shifting away.

The tension, however, is still very present.

You finally take a swig of the whiskey, wanting to ease the sudden tightness in your chest. You hum at the stinging sensation on your tongue. You catch a glimpse of Poe from the corner of your eye who busies himself with tapping his fingers nervously against the surface of the bar.

Then, in an awkward motion, you stretch your arm to him, offering the drink.

A beat. His gaze shifts between you and your hand. When he finally gives in, a smile curves upon his lips, fingers brushing against yours. They’re delicate and you smile at him. It's small, but it makes his heart skip a beat and you wonder to yourself about the strangeness of love.

[redrisingsun]

Swedish Holidays for all your Young Royals needs

Due to popular demand (by like five people) here’s a brief description of all the major Swedish holidays and how they’re celebrated because I can’t stand here and pretend as if we really celebrate Christmas the 25th. We have more holidays, I've only written about the ones we celebrate in my family. I come from a working class family and live in Southern Sweden, however I do have family in Stockholm. I'm not religious in any way and as far as I know, most families don't celebrate these holidays because they're religious, but because it's tradition.

yall better appreciate this, it took me literal hours

January

1: Dubbed as one of the collective pizza days in my household. It's the day after New Year, and most people either order in or eat leftovers.

Week 2 or 3: Most people return to their jobs, schools and other daily activities.

February/March

Fettisdagen ("Fat Tuesday"): celebrated 47 days before Easter. The actual date varies, all from early February to early March. It's an old Christian tradition where you'd eat fatty foods before the "before Easter"-fast and is supposedly a thing in other Christian countries as well. These days, most people celebrate by eating semlor with their family, and most don't fast before Easter.

The semla is a sweet bun with whipped cream and almond paste.

Våffeldagen (Waffle Day, 25th of March): I think this day stems from a Christian tradition, but these days the day is mostly to get together with family and eat waffles.

April

Påsk (Easter): Again, the date varies, but Easter is usually in April. Easter stems from Christianity and is celebrated to remember Jesus' death and resurrection. Easter spans over a week, but I personally only celebrate one of those days.

Påskafton (direct translation: Easter Eve, English translation: Holy Saturday) is the Saturday of the Easter week. In my family, the children get to look for Easter eggs (often filled with candy).

Some children also dress up as Påskkärringar (Easter crones) and I think this tradition has to do with the Witch Trials in Sweden, but I'm not sure. Chances are you won't need to know anything about this for your Young Royal fics, because mostly girls dress up.

Sometimes, we decorate eggs.

Later, we sit down to eat together and spend time with our families. Common things to eat for Easter is potatoes, eggs, herring and meatballs.

Valborgsmässoafton (Walpurgis Night, 30th): We burn a big bonfire in the evening to celebrate that spring is here. I live in a fairly small town, so mostly everyone gathers at one spot and burns the fire together. When the bonfire is burned, most people go home and that's it. It's also seen as a reason to have a party (mostly for teenagers and young adults, I think) and get drunk as fuck.

May/June

Sveriges Nationaldagen (Sweden's National Day, 6th of June): Most people are home from school and work. We hoist the Swedish flag. Idk. However, the Royal Family celebrates by getting dressed up in Swedish costumes. This year, the King held a speech and the family went to Skansen (which is an amusement park/zoo. You can read more about it here). There's music and the military does their weird little thing. You can watch the National Day Celebration on Skansen from 2014 here.

Midsommarafton (Midsummer): date varies, but is celebrated a Friday in late June. I'm sure there's a Christian explanation for this one, but I don't personally know it.

Midsommar (midsummer) means middle of the summer.

Again, this is a day to eat and spend time with your family (or drink, depending on who you are). We eat pretty much the same things for Midsummer as we do for Easter.

For Midsummer we also dance around a Midsommarstång (direct translation: Midsummer Pole, English translation: Maypole) and make flower crowns.

How Midsummer is celebrated depends a lot on your age (most teenagers and young adults again see this as a reason to party), where you're from and a million other things.

My personal favorite Midsummer tradition is probably more common in the country than in the city, for example. You're supposed to pick seven different flowers without saying a word. Then, you sleep with the flowers under your pillow. Supposedly, you'll dream of your future husband (or wife! But I think it's more common that women and girls do this). This tradition also varies. Some people say you need nine flowers and some people say you have to climb over fencing for it to count.

Some teenagers or young adults spend time with their friends to party, instead!

You can watch part of a Midsummer celebration at Skansen here.

The Royal Family usually celebrate Midsummer privately, but I think there's usually new pictures of the entire family around this time.

Day after Midsummer: Collective Pizza Day 2. Everyone either eats takeout or leftovers because no one can be bothered to make anything and like half of the population has the worst hangover they've had since New Year.

Summer Holiday Note: most people in Sweden have four weeks of paid leave each summer.

July/August

Kräftpremiär (Crayfish party) - date varies, normally early August. Basically people get together to eat crayfish and drink. You can usually get paper plates and plastic cups and whatever with ugly crayfish motives (which is fun), but I've never done this.

October

Halloween (30th): Halloween is nowhere near as big in Sweden as it is in the States. We just buy some lösgodis ("loose candy", where you can throw whatever kind of candy you want in a bag. See pictures). Trick or treat is so unusual in the town I grew up I've only ever had one kid ask for candy and when I celebrated Halloween with my grandparents (in a city not far from Stockholm), it was the same. I usually buy some candy and watch a horror movie, but that's about it.

However, Halloween is (again) a reason for teenagers and young adults to drink and party.

November

Alla Helgons Dag (All Saints' Day): Date varies, usually early November. It's a day to remember the dead and we usually light a candle at the grave yard.

December

Första Advent (First Advent): Date varies. Sunday four weeks from Christmas Eve. We mostly just light a candle, honestly. Then, each Sunday for the next four weeks, we light a candle. Here's actually the Crown Princess wishing Happy First Advent with her family! Unfortunately without English subtitles, but here's the translation: "Today is the First Advent. Advent means arrival and hope, something that feels extra important this year. (her husband lights the candle) We want to wish everyone a happy first advent!"

Andra Advent (Second Advent): date varies. We light the second candle.

Tredje Advent (Third Advent): date varies. We light the third candle.

Fjärde Advent (Fourth Advent): date varies. We light the fourth candle. In my family we usually decorate the tree this Sunday.

Julafton (Christmas Eve): Celebrated the 24th. YES, THE 24TH. Christmas Eve obviously varies from family to family, but there's a few things most people have in common. Usually, we get one gift in our sock (which hangs on our bedroom doors in my home, because we don't have a mantle) when we wake up. As kids me and my brother almost always got a movie or something to keep us busy until it was time to leave for our grandparents house.

For lunch we eat the Christmas dinner. It's the same damned food as our other holidays. Herring, meatballs, potatoes, sausages etc, but now, we also have julskinka (Christmas ham). Some people eat ham even for Easter, but we only really eat it for Christmas in my family. Obviously the food varies a little from season to season, but as a picky eater I always just eat potatoes, meatballs and ham.

At 3, Kalle Anka (Donald Duck) is on. Yeah, we watch the same damned stuff every year. It's tradition, alright? Anyway, Donald Duck lasts for an hour or so, and first you get to see Santa work in his workshop, then Disney characters wish you a Merry Christmas with scenes from their movies (original, I know). There's Lady and the Tramp, Donald Duck (obviously) and a million other things. Then there's also one or two trailers for movies Disney will release the coming year. I really couldn't be bothered to find everything on YouTube for you to watch, sorry!

After Donald Duck, we open the Christmas gifts in my family. Normally we just rip out gifts open lmao.

After opening the gifts, we usually eat a second time. This time it's time for porridge. Tomtegröt (Santa porridge) is sweet and often served with cinnamon. Usually, everyone is so stuffed at this point that you only eat because you "have" to eat porridge for Christmas (again, at least in my family).

The last thing we do in my family, is to get a puzzle out. My grandpa almost always gets a new puzzle for Christmas, so we'll put that on the dining table and work on it together until it's getting too late for us to stay.

The Royal Family usually release new pictures of the family for Christmas and wish everyone a Merry Christmas.

Day after Christmas: Not a collective pizza day! There's usually too much Christmas food left to be able to order pizza. Usually, we have Christmas food to eat for four-ish days after Christmas, and by then you're getting really tired of it.

Sometimes we watch something on television, but for the most part we just sit around and spend time together. I think the Crown Princess read something from the Bible this year? I'm not actually sure if the Royal Family go to the Christmas Service, but I don't think so.

Nyårsafton (New Year's Eve): last day of the year. We shoot fireworks, eat food and dessert and spend time with family. This day we normally eat something "fancy" or something you we don't usually eat.

At twelve, we go out to light some fireworks (or just watch fireworks). When that dies down, it's time for the cheese platter. My dad wants it, no one else ever eats from it, we still do it every single year because "it's not New Year's without it". When we've had the cheese platter, everyone go to sleep and that's that.

People obviously celebrate this differently, as well. It's not uncommon to go see your friends or have guests over, and some people party rather than have fancy dinner with their parents. I personally prefer spending time with my parents, because that's what New Year's is for me.

Some people give resolutions, but I think it's more common in the States.

Christmas Holiday Note: It's common for people to not work between Christmas and New Year's Eve where I'm from.

Some things you might want to know about the Swedish Royal Family and Sweden overall:

The Royal Family in Young Royals is not the real Royal Family (obviously).

The Royal Family usually spends time on Öland during the summers.

Chances are Wilhelm and his family live at Drottningholm Slott (Drottningholm Palace) and not Stockholm Slott (Stockholm Palace). Drottningholm is used as a home for the current King and Queen and is located west of Stockholm. However, the scenes where Wilhelm is home is shot at a palace called Stora Sundby Slott. I doubt Wilhelm and his family would live here if they were the actual Royal Family since it's used as a place for people to gather when they want to hunt for sport. However, if they truly live at Stora Sundby, it takes almost two hours to drive from Stockholm to the castle.

Bjärstad is AT LEAST two hours away from Stockholm.

Bjärstad to Stora Sundby Castle takes approximately an hour and a half by car, and between nine and twelve hours by bus. Which means these two boys can't just take a twenty minute bus to see each other.

Bjärstad to Drottningholm takes a little over two hours by car and four-ish hours by bus.

Bjärstad to Stockholm Slott takes over two hours by car and three and a half hours by bus.

Hillerska is shot at Kaggeholms Slott (Kaggeholm Palace), and is a hotel.

The age of consent in Sweden is 15, HOWEVER it's illegal to have sex with someone four or more years younger than you if you're not both over the age of 18. Let me illustrate: -Person A is 15 and Person B is 15. It's legal because both are 15. -Person A is 15 and Person B is 20. It's illegal, because there's a five year old gap between them. -Person A is 15 and Person B is 18. It's legal (but probably frowned upon), because they're both 15 or older and there's not a four year gap between them. -Person A is 18 and Person B is 30. It's legal, because both are 18 or older. Idk if this makes sense or if this is what it looks like anymore, but this is what it was like when I still went to school. Obviously people aren't going to run around and call you names if you happen to date someone four years younger than you (I know a girl who met a guy when she was 14 and he was over 20), but please, be mindful of this. Our age of consent doesn't give you a right to be weird and nasty to teenagers (yes, I'm talking about Edvin).

Also, the Royal Family have their own website, which you can find here. As far as I can see, there's more information on the Swedish page, but there's plenty translated to English. You can also read of the Swedish Royal Family and its history on the palaces's website, here.

All pictures have been taken straight from Google. I haven't used any sources, because this is shit I do every single year with my family. Feel free to correct me or add things you do, but keep it respectful, please!

Friendly reminder that I've simplified some parts of this to make sense, specifically the dates of the Advent celebrations.

If there's anything you don't understand or want more information on, you're welcome to contact me! I take pretty long to reply, but I'll definitely try to get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you!

[parslynne]

Bonus:

Based off the fact Gojo canonically bought a ¥250000 (before tax) shirt.

____

Part 1 || Part 2 (you are here) || Extras (not ready yet deepest apologies) ||

Click on the images for crispy lines and legible text.

The main comic is split into two posts because the images were too big to fit into one! I have some extra stuff I am wanting to make, but they're not finished enough for human viewing. I've got many theories on how the siblings went from “If I go, will Tsumiki be happy? My answer depends on that.” TO “Don’t act like you’re my guardian. You gross me out.” (for reasons aside from the usual middle school phase of sibling conflict) AND I TRIED INJECTING THEM INTO THIS COMIC (which originally had a count of 9 pages but now is 13 pages + bonus content) BUT THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A JOLLY ONE ABOUT MEGUMI AND TSUMIKI’S ATTEMPTS TO ENTERTAIN THEMSELVES WITHOUT ELECTRICITY. SO NO PAIN

More ranting about the comic below the cut. Spoilers for the manga!!!

This comic was stuck in my head for a while because when I got to c138 I was like OH MY GOD TSUMIKI, Gege why, and I love sibling shenanigans. There’s not much about Tsumiki and her personality just yet (she’s kind, but kind isn’t a personality), but there’s this panel here from chapter 59 that for this comic, I based her entirely on:

She just seems very fun.

Some context info for the comic:

This comic takes place a year an a half after the Hidden Inventory arc and 4 months after Gojo meets Megumi.

(random note: Megumi's age is a bit of a misnomer for me, because canon says Gojo met Megumi in his first year of elementary school in 2007. The events of the manga take place in 2018, 11 years later, when Fushiguro is 15. I'm a bit confused here because children in Japan start elementary school at age 6 (turning 7 by the time they move on to second grade in April), so Megumi should've been 6 years old when he met Gojo. In 2007 though, he should've been 4 turning 5 if he's only 15 (turning 16) in 2018. Did I misread something? For the purposes of this comic, Megumi is 7 and Tsumiki is turning 8).

In this comic, it takes a while for Gojo to gain custody of Megumi and Tsumiki due to the fact that he's still a minor (and has a few more hoops his influence has to jump through) and that he has to very carefully wheedle Megumi out of the Zen'in family's clutches. If he does it too persistently, the Zen'ins would figure out something's up and be more resistant, if not reluctant, to let him go without upping his price. Megumi's Cursed Technique is manifesting, but I think Gojo figured it out only because of his Six-Eyes. Gojo told Megumi to do his best to hide his wakening abilities (which Megumi took as being even less emotive than usual, much to Tsumiki's dismay). If the Zen'ins ever found out he had the Ten Shadows technique, Megumi's fate would've been sealed, and Gojo would have had no way of getting him out. Luckily, the clan's disdain for Toji clouds their judgement of Megumi. Megumi's also born in late December, so for the clan members who don't think he'd amount to much, this detail is easily forgotten, and when Megumi's six years old and nearing his 7th birthday, the clan members would assume he's already seven and passed the 'age limit' to manifest an inherited cursed technique. Gojo coming back to the apartment in 2008 after Megumi's 7th birthday suggests that he was successful in gaining custody of Megumi.

In the last panel of the main comic, you see there's a divine doggo on the roof top. Megumi accidentally summoned a divine dog during the spirited saga of Usa-Chan-Man, but luckily Gojo sensed it and subdued it, nullifying the exorcism ritual.

Speaking of Usa-Chan-Man, she is 1000% based on Lovely Usa-Chan Man from Oresama Teacher (same author as Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun). She's amazing. If you're interested, the manga's hilarious (even if Student-Teacher ain't your cup of tea, be rest assured----this manga is 90% humour, 8% drama, and 2% romance).

Some inaccuracies in this comic I am now aware of; please be gentle with judgement:

- The Fushiguro apartment is not a corner apartment, I know!! I just- I just didn't know okay, and I was committed to having a shot of Gojo chilling on the ledge of the roof

- SAILOR MOON STOPPED AIRING IN JAPAN IN 1997. I DIDN'T KNOW THIS. I personally watched Sailor Moon on VHS tapes. I just thought Sailor Moon would be a show that could be rerun 1203 times and people would be ok with it. I am 100% guessing that anime airs on Sundays at 9PM. I didn't research this at all. I tried to envision leaving out the Sailor Moon part, but there went my Usagi joke and that joke was originally supposed to end the comic at 9 pages. I eventually ended the comic a different way, but Usagi had to be there to create the scene transition to the ending. Just.. Sshh..

- What bills and account books look like in Japan. Yeah, I have no idea. Especially what they looked like back in 2008!! Also, how much utilities costed in Tokyo 2008.. I just went with conservative prices typical of modern day Hokkaido in the winter.

- What the weather was like in January 2008. Was it cold enough that kids were wearing winter jackets? I tried googling historical weather data, but I got nothing (it was just like 10 minutes of googling though, so I wasn't trying that hard). In Tokyo though, January is generally considered the coldest month of the year, so I hoped for the best!

- Candles are not strong enough to cast sharp enough shadows for shadow puppetry. Y...yes... But you see, this candle is really, really big and has a very large wick.

I am done. This is all for now. Thank you for reading, if you've read up till this point!!! Happy Jujutsu Friday and See y'all crying on Jujutsu Sunday.