#set sometime after all the drama and politics go down

[yandere-daydreams]

Screening: Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978).

Pairing: Yandere!Carlisle Cullen x Reader (Twilight).

Word Count: 2.1k.

TW: Wildly Unbalanced Power Dynamics, Medical Malpractice, Blood, Controlling Behavior, Deliberate Social Isolation, Misuse of Prescription Drugs, and Generalized Twilight. Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.

It might’ve just been the isolation getting to you, but you were starting to think that your doctor wasn’t completely human.

Not that you’d ever say so out loud. At best, it was awful thing to think about a man who’d only ever been kind to you and, at worst, it proved yet another symptom to your ever-developing, ever-worsening illness had cropped up and would need further treatment to correct. You knew better than to say things that would make you seem more sick than you already were, but it was hard to stop yourself from lingering on the idea – especially considering you only had books, sleep, and his company to pass the endless time. Admittedly, it’d been a while since you’d seen another person, but you could’ve sworn he was paler than he should’ve been, to the point of bloodlessness. He never ate or drank around you, but sometimes when he spoke, the light would catch on his teeth in a way that made them look too sharp, too prominent. You might’ve been dreaming, but once, after you took your medicine but just before you fell asleep, you swore you saw him taking the cap off of the blood sample he’d taken a few minutes prior, like he planned to do something aside from—

You heard a door open and instantly, your paranoia was dismissed in favor of more interesting stimuli. In this case, that came in the form of your doctor, Carlisle Cullen, stepping into your bedroom, an inhumanly perfect smile already painted across his inhumanly perfect lips.

…maybe you should tell somebody about your little conspiracy. If only to be absolutely sure that you were really losing your mind.

“Good morning,” he said, and it occurred to you that you hadn’t thought to check the time, yet. Your life existed in three states: alone, asleep, and with Carlisle. Only that last one really mattered – the other two could easily be lumped into the same category helpfully labeled ‘waiting for Carlisle’s next visit’. “Have you been keeping yourself busy?”

“I’ve only been awake for a couple hours,” you explained, shrugging as he took his usual seat in the chair left next to your bed. He was always polite enough to ask about the boring details of your day, and you were always embarrassed enough to skirt around just how little you had the energy for. Most of the time, it was all you could do to pull yourself out of bed and yourself to eat before retreating back into your little safe haven. On a good day, you’d be able to go for a walk, maybe respond to a few of the calls you were constantly missing, but most days weren’t very good. “Reading, mostly. Thanks again for the recommendation.”

The book he’d lent you – a dry historical drama with characters as bland as water and a plot as boring as sin – sat open on your lap, but you’d only gotten through half a chapter before giving up. It was hard to believe Carlisle was only a few years older than you, sometimes. You couldn’t imagine how someone who seemed so young could have such awful taste.

Still, he looked pleased, his pleasantly aloof expression taking on a defined note of satisfaction. “It’s important to keep your mind occupied while your body’s recovering. You wouldn’t want to waste all of my hard work by letting yourself die of boredom, now, would you?”

“No, doctor.” It was stupid to try, but he’d set himself up for it. You couldn’t seem to stop yourself, your heart beating just a little faster as you grasped blindly for the impossible. “You know, there’s this friend of mine who keeps asking when she’ll be able to visit, and I thought it might help pass the time if—”  

“You’ll have to find a way to let her down.” Carlisle’s voice was smooth, calm. You did your best not to sulk, but still, he let out a labored sigh, only a touch too professional to roll his eyes. “It’s for the best. It’s good that you stay active, but you know what’ll happen if you overexert yourself, don’t you?”

Vaguely. It was hard to remember the details of your condition, and you weren’t in the mood for another lecture. “I do, doctor.”

“And you’re going to behave your check-up, aren’t you?”

“I am, doctor.”

“And that’s why you’re my favorite patient.” Your compliance was rewarded with a beaming smile, an appeased nod as he pulled his old-fashioned leather doctor’s bag into his lap. “We better make good on that promise before you change your mind, then.”

You didn’t protest. Honestly, you didn’t say much of anything. You never talked during your exam, preferring to let Carlisle go through the necessary motions with as little interference as possible. Instead, he filled the silence with mindless chatter about his children and how they were doing at the local public school, the hospital’s ongoings since you were unofficially discharged, and your favorite – Forks’ particularly colorful smalltown gossip, from the sheriff’s wayward daughter moving back into town to the spike in bear sightings on the local hiking paths. “It’ll be a busy week,” he mentioned, as he finished taking your blood pressure. “You might have some unexpected company, after all.”

At that, you perked up. You met nearly all of Carlisle’s assistants (medical students, you guessed, judging by their ages) by now, and even if you didn’t care for all of them, it was still nice to see someone other than him. Your least favorites were the dark haired twins – the wiry boy who always seemed to be biting back a smirk and the pixie-like girl who always acted like she knew something you didn’t – and you were particularly fond of the blonde girl… Rosemary, or maybe Rosaline. She was nice, compassionate, kind enough to keep you company even when Carlisle wasn’t in the room. More importantly, she brought interesting books – romance and horror, novels like Dracula and Carmilla and Interview with a Vampire, always handing over with a sweet smile and a hushed reminder not to let Carlisle know she was breaking his rules. Looking back on it, you probably shouldn’t have accepted anything she tried to give you. You would’ve hated for her to get in trouble just because she was trying to be nice.

Rather than voicing your overwhelming bias, you watched intently as he slipped the loose cuff off of your arm, tucking it back into his bag and removing something else, something long and silver and sharp. Immediately, your gaze shot back to your lap, your throat going dry in an instant. The next time you managed to spit something out, it was nearly too quiet to be audible. “…is there any chance we could, uh, I don’t know,” You paused, shrunk into yourself. “…skip the phlebotomy, this time?”

Carlisle’s answer was as swift as it was ruthless. An airy laugh, a jagged twist to this smile as he took up the needle properly and turned it over in his hand, looking for defects. It was already attached the glass syringe and, even worse, an empty vial; just a touch bigger than you remembered it being, the day before. “And take that kind of risk? How little do you think of me, (Y/n)?”

“It’s not you, it’s just—I already feel a little faint, and you take one every day, and—” You cut yourself off, inhaling sharply. “I just don’t know if it’s really necessary. Considering how careful you are and everything.”

“You’re right, I am careful. Which is exactly why I have to do this each and every time I come to see you.” He sighed, shook his head – suddenly more of a patronizing, paternal figure than any kind of medical professional, let alone peer. “You understand, don’t you? Without regular testing, your condition may worsen, and if you get any sicker than you are now…” You stiffened as he trailed off, bracing yourself. You knew what came next, what always came next.

“You’ll have to go back to the hospital, angel.”

It was strange, how a voice as smooth and as beautiful as his could be so difficult to listen to.

You didn’t like Carlisle. You hated his condescending smile, his repetitive rambling, his terrible taste in books and his creepy little students. You hated how little he let you do, how he talked about your illness – always skirting around the details, never giving you enough information to know whether you were on the verge of dying or a few days away from making a full recovery. No, when you were honest with yourself, you didn’t like him. Hated him, even.

But you couldn’t go back to the hospital, with its blank white walls and sobbing patients and strange, mind-altering drugs that put your sleep and made you feel like someone was biting into your throat. It’d been a miracle when Carlisle first told you about his domestic services, when he offered to have you discharged in exchange for only the promise that you wouldn’t seek care that didn’t come from him. Arrangements were made, your rent and bills taken over by some nameless, faceless local charity, and for the first time in months, you got to go home. You could live with Carlisle and his once weekly, now daily check-ups. You could live with the fact that you didn’t remember the last time you’d gotten to make a decision for yourself.

And, if you had to, you could live with paying for your freedom in blood, too. As long as it meant you didn’t have to go back to that terrible place.

Once again, you didn’t say anything, but you didn’t resist as he sighed and ran a sterilizing pad over your forearm, the antibiotic strong enough to burn. You clenched your eyes shut, but that did nothing to block out the feeling of a thin elastic band being wrapped around the crook of your elbow, of his needle pushing through your skin and burrowing into the vein underneath it. There was a second of pressure, of knotted soreness, and then, the syringe was gone and you were left feeling just a little colder, just a little more empty than you had before.

Even after opening your eyes, you kept them trained on your lap. You easily could’ve spent the rest of his visit in silence, but metal clinked against glass as he rushed to cap his vial and suddenly, you needed to hear the sound of your own voice. “I think I might be getting paranoid,” you managed, with a breath of a laugh. “For a few minutes this morning, I was able to convince myself that you were… I don’t know, an alien studying humanity, or something.”

“If I was, I’m sure that I would still pick you as the best possible specimen for my examination.” It was hollow comfort, but you smiled anyway, nodding along. Your medication came next, in the form of a small, chalky white pill that you still struggled to swallow under Carlisle’s vigilant gaze. You managed to choke it down, though, and as always, the effects were instant; a sudden clearness, blankness, followed shortly by an exhaustion so thick and so heavy, you couldn’t remember what it’d ever felt like not to be tired. You tried to hold yourself up, but faltered – buckling under your own weight. Carlisle chuckled as he caught you, helping you lay down with a soft squeeze to your shoulder, a feather-light kiss to the top of your head. “Sleep, angel. It’s good for you.” And then, his grin still pressing into your scalp. “And try not to dream about vampires, this time.”

So he did know about Rosalie’s books. Pouting, you shrunk into yourself, letting him drag the comforter over your abruptly immobile body as your eyes eased shut, as he pulled away – a vial of your blood still warm in his hand. It would’ve been impossible to stop yourself from falling asleep, but you managed to stave off unconscious long enough to watch him remove the vial’s carefully applied seal, to unscrew the air-tight cap with the kind of tenderness you’d only seen him use while taking your temperature or petting his fingers through your hair after he thought you were already too far gone to remember. He did a lot of things when he thought you weren’t looking, didn’t he? You’d never really noticed that, before.

Through your eyelashes, you watched him bring the vial to his lips before everything went dark.

[jbaileyfansite]

Interview on Today (2024)

Jonathan Bailey and Matt Bomer tell a decades-spanning love story, set against a dark time in American history, in the miniseries "Fellow Travelers."

"It's a once or twice in a career experience to get to tell characters' stories for three plus decades," Bomer tells TODAY.com.

It also seems to be a "once or twice in a career" friendship between the two stars.

As we sit down to chat after their appearance on TODAY, I tell Bailey this interview will be audio-only, not on camera.

"So you'll get to hear Matt's Elphaba riff," Bailey jokes, before Bomer belts out a near-perfect tenor rendition of the closing notes of "Defying Gravity."

In addition to "Fellow Travelers," which premiered on Showtime in October 2023 and led to both stars receiving Emmy nominations, Bailey is also gearing up for the release of the film adaptation of "Wicked."

"I wore my emerald shirt to support," Bomer says later.

Throughout the interview, they share effusive praise for each other. Bomer was a "huge fan" of Bailey's work before they met, he says, and the "Bridgerton" actor then "exceeded all expectations." Bailey credits Bomer, who served as an executive producer on the show, with making "the whole thing happen."

"He's been a hero for a long time," Bailey says of his co-star.

Their friendship may be the happily ever after that, on its surface, is absent from their show.

"Fellow Travelers" chronicles the love story between political consultants Hawkins "Hawk" Fuller (Bomer) and Tim Laughlin (Bailey) over the course of four decades. Their relationship starts against the backdrop of the Lavender Scare in 1950s Washington D.C. and runs all the way up to San Francisco in the '80s, at the start of the AIDS epidemic.

The show is romantic, sexy, moving and devastating, right up until the last line.

An 'instantaneous' friendship

Bomer says their friendship was "instantaneous."

"I feel like we went from coworkers to friends the first time we read together," he says. "It was so great to have someone I could completely trust as my scene partner and lean on and who made me better every day as an actor an a person at times."

He adds, "It was never really an effort."

Because their characters maintain an off-and-on again relationship over the years, Bailey and Bomer saw their characters through different ages and life phases.

That “nature of the love story” means they “grew with every scene," Bailey says.

"One of the most bonding experiences was seeing each other turning up through the different decades — see how we were aging, sometimes gracefully, sometimes not, and then sometimes gracefully again,” he says. "We're bonded, I'd say, for life."

‘Fellow Travelers,’ ‘Bridgerton’ and ‘Wicked’ — oh my!

The intensity of the show's emotions was matched by the intensity of filming.

Bailey, known for his breakout role as romantic hero Anthony in "Bridgerton" Season 2, filmed Season 3 of "Bridgerton" and his upcoming film "Wicked" at the same time as the Showtime drama.

When asked on TODAY Aug. 16 how he kept all the roles in his head, he simply answered, "I don't know."

But he did recall a time when his roles as Tim in "Fellow Travelers" and Fiyero in "Wicked" overlapped.

"There was one afternoon where we had a two-way trailer," Bailey said. "And the trailer was sort of rocking."

"I was like, 'What's going on in Johnny's trailer?'" Bomer recalled.

"I came out really sweaty," Bailey continued. "My Tim glasses were on, and I had on Adidas from the waist down, and I had been practicing my 'Wicked' choreography."

At its busiest, "Fellow Travelers" filmed for entire days — literally.

"Some of the days were like 20 hours," Bailey recalls to TODAY.com.

They filmed Episode 6, "Beyond Measure," largely set in the ‘60s —years since Tim and Hawk last spoke — in about three days, Bailey says.

"We had to wrap the show. You had places you had to be, and the schedule was so tight, we were just doing 18-hour days, 20-hour days," Bomer adds.

This happened after theactors had filmed the final scenes of the show.

"So we'd done the real heavy moment —," Bailey says, as Bomer adds, "We had this great release for the whole experience. But then we had to go back."

And about that ending...

"Fellow Travelers" turns out to be a frame narrative. The show both opens and ends in the '80s during Tim and Hawk's last reunion, before Tim dies of complications from AIDS.

Tim's death is not shown on screen. Instead, it's revealed through the final scene, which sees Hawk and his daughter looking at Tim's name on the AIDS Memorial Quilt in 1987. For the first time, Hawk tells her about his relationship with Tim.

The last lines of the show are Bomer's.

"He wasn't my friend. He was the man I loved," Hawk says.

Both actors confirm that the last time Tim and Hawk saw each other was in 1986 at the political gala shown in Episode 8. After Tim tries and fails to get an audience with the California governor to advocate for a crucial AIDS bill, he interrupts the event with a protest. But before taking the stage, Hawk kisses Tim, who then tells his longtime love to go home.

"I have to fight this fight. That means letting go of everything else. And if you're around, I will not be able to let go," Tim says.

Bomer calls their ending "brilliant."

"To see Tim in this moment of absolute triumph, where he is his most authentic self, pumping his fist in the air with a passion and a cause — everything that he had tried to hard to be in the '50s, he is celebrating out loud in the '80s," Bomer says. "I just thought it was such a beautiful, heartbreaking way to go out."

Tim’s arc “ends with his strongest moment, even though his body is dying," Bailey adds.

Hawk meanwhile, "hits the 'f-it' button," Bomer says.

"To kiss Tim openly is such a huge, revolutionary act (for Hawk)," he adds. "So he's definitely made the choice that he's going to take a complete new path for his life."

Bailey says the gala was the last time Tim and Hawk saw each other “in this world.”

"From the last scene, you can tell that he will live on as Hawk's great love of his life," Bomer adds. "Forever."

Source

[thequeenofthedisneyverse]

Zeus x Eurylochus - 70's au (Not sure what to call it)

I'm thinking about an AU set in the 70's where Zeus is living a double life. He and Eurylochus already have three daughters together. The oldest is Zeury at 10 years old, the middle is Eurylana at 8 years old, and the youngest is Lily at 5 years old.

(Don't ask me Zeus and Eury's ages yet because I'm not sure. And don't ask me how their daughters got here either. That's up to you how they were born.)

TW: Mentions of cheating, homophobia, and assassination attempts. That's about it.

Lore/Backstory

Eurylochus is very much aware of Zeus' other family, but he won't say anything because he's emotionally and mentally not in the mood for the drama.

Not to mention it's the 70's, gay relationships weren't accepted like that. So, the other reason Eury doesn't say anything is to make sure his and his kids' lives aren't at stake.

I'm not really sure how they met yet so don't ask. I'll give you the details once I have them.

And...Eurylochus loves Zeus. That's the third reason he won't say anything. They were childhood sweethearts so to speak but due to the times, Zeus had to marry Hera. It was an arranged marriage, so Zeus didn't really have much of a say in the matter anyway.

As for Zeus, he does love Eurylochus but doesn't have much time for him. He tries though. Genuinely.

Jobs

Of course, Zeus is a rich CEO of the city's most well-known tech company. Surely a job he worked for and DEFININETLY not a job his father gave him after he stepped down.

Eury isn't rich but he's not poor either. A well of middle class "single" dad who's a principle at his daughters' school. On the side he works at his mother's bakery.

Family/Friends

Eurylochus is the only child of a mechanic, James, and a baker, Angela. Both of his parents are aware of their son's relationship with Zeus and have mixed opinions about it.

James won't except the relationship at all nor will he acknowledge his grandchildren. Angela is more lenient though. She always wanted grandkids and well...she got them.

Angela kind of finds the irony laughable. All her life she's been told to be specific for what you wish for. She supposes she should have been specific to HOW her grandchildren came to be...and what gender she wanted her son to be with.

She's against his relationship with Zeus too but doesn't express it often.

I may change this to Eurylochus going no contact with his parents though, I'm not sure.

His friends Odysseus and Polites don't know that Zeus is the girls' father. They just know those girls belong to someone other than Eury.

-

At the beginning of her marriage, Hera would be so hurt when Zeus cheated on her. No amount of begging or "think of the children" could stop him. It got so bad until she just...snapped.

With every new whore he found would be a new one for her to...remove from life so to speak. With some should we kill them herself and with others she'd hire someone to do it.

Zeus just think Hera may have threatened the girls to stay away from him. He doesn't know that Hera has them assassinated.

Zeus and Hera have four children in total: Hephaestus (oldest), Athena (second oldest), Ares (middle child), and Hebe (youngest). I can't decide their ages yet so if you have any ideas let me know.

Zeus isn't exactly the greatest man in the world, especially to his children. It's clear that Athena is his favorite of the bunch...he mostly forgets about the others, especially Ares.

The only friends Zeus has been his brothers...that's it. And even they are iffy about it sometimes.

Family life

Zeus is actually a good father to his and Eury's daughters when he's around. He showers them with gifts, affection, and genuine care. Zeus does love Eurylochus, don't worry.

When he can he'll send flowers or other gifts to his address. Sometimes they'll even share a kiss or two. Maybe even a night of cuddling if their lucky.

It's rare for Zeus to be there for any holiday but when he can he goes all out. Christmas is his favorite time of year so even if he can't visit, he'll let his little girls know he loves them.

Eurylochus is of course, the disciplinary parent while Zeus is the fun one. The oldest girls favor Zeus a lot more, mainly because he buys them things when they ask for it.

Lily favors Eury more because from her perspective, he's around a lot more than Zeus is. But she likes Zeus too.

Eury is "Papa" and Zeus is "Dad"...I'll come up with more but let me know what ya'll think of this so far.

[melonteee]

I've seen many people complain that Oda in Post Time skip One Piece spends a lot of time worldbuilding and making up side characters on every island that distract from the main ones and the plot. While I can see where some people are coming from, as someone who reads comics from Marvel, I WISH the wordbuilding and side characters were that developed because most of the time, unless it's about space or magic or directly related to the plot, the world feels genuinely dead. Even the main setting of a story sometimes feels so dead, like for comparison

Around 2 years ago, they had an event where, at some point, an inhabited island got pretty much nuked. We spent 3 real life years on that island and the writers really couldn't make any readers care less about all the civilians (men, women, children and babies) dying as they wrote them as a single minded entity who didn't mind that fate if their government told them to do it so they used two of the "main characters" (the most selfish pricks imaginable who never even cared about the island and the people there as they are long-established villains + due to plot, were made part of the people who rule over the place and get the most privilege and best life there compared to everyone else), to pull the heartstrings of fans on how terrible it is for them to die this way and how tragic that these two had to die in this event... All because the plot hyperfocused on the island's government (not even interesting to read and full of what felt like highschool drama) instead of the people the government looks after and who would be the greatest casualty here. All of this didn't matter either because everyone on that island was brought back to life (that plot device was present even before the event so caring about anything was going to be hard from the get go) including the "main characters" that died.. Guess who got to come back to life first while many others were on a waiting list years down the line still ?

Now compare this to Oda and what he did with Lulusia. All things related to this island were mostly cover stories, many cuts back and forth in a "meanwhile in...", ... But once Chapter 1060 hits, we feel the tragedy and horror, we are at awe at how much destruction was unleashed on these people. That scene was made even more horrifying and sad when it was animated in Episode 1089...and then we learn the reason the island was obliterated had nothing to do with Sabo being there. Any island we knew who partook in a revolution could have been a target. We find out that even that was an excuse because the main goal was to test a weapon and nothing more. Oda is using a tool here called "less is more" for this island and it was sincerely enough for me to care A WHOLE LOT about Lulusia even if the main characters never set a single foot there and it wasn't part of the main plot. There wasn't even a main character who "died" there either to pull on our heart strings. We just saw these people triumphantly come out of a political crisis and enjoy their first hours of freedom after lord knows how long and then

They were all gone. Erased. And even if they didn't all see what was about to happen to them, they felt it. They died in fear

Oda is very very good at his world building, because he makes sure these islands are LIVED in, not just that they EXIST. It's all well and good to wipe out an island to show the political and immoral powers that be, but we don't feel the impact unless we SEE the people and culture existing on the island.

It's why now, with Vegapunk explaining the state of the world, we are getting reactions from EVERY corner of the globe. We are being reminded how big this world is, how lived in this world is, and how many people are suffering under the world gov. We CARE about this world, we care about the PEOPLE in this world, and Oda's spent years building his world up for THIS moment. It's really spectacular.

[ivyyisbored22]

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭— 𝐁𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐅𝐅

Note: Check Description and other chapters first to understand the story ^^♡

Chapter 17

Bang Chan

"Your files are secure Chris."

click click tap

"There's no way he'll be able to get through this" Seungmin's fingers were flying over his laptop keyboard in such speed, his hands were basically going invisible.

"Are you sure?" I took a sip from my glass of bourbon, the liquid burning slightly as it went down.

The room was filled with the soft hum of his computer set up and the occasional beep from the various gadgets he had around the place, it feels like I stepped into a server room instead of his penthouse.

"Are you doubting me?" Seungmin looked up, arching an eyebrow, my hands immediately went up in surrender. He narrowed his eyes at me and then looked down at his screen, his fingers flying across the keyboard again.

"I've doubled the firewalls, encrypted the sensitive data, and set up real-time monitoring. If he even tries to breach the system, we'll know."

"Well, then good" I nodded, feeling a bit of the tension ease from my shoulders. At least the digital side of things was secure. After that bastard's visit 2 days ago, I was positive it was Victor who must have tried to access our files to leak information about the launch.

Relief washed over me after Min assured about the security, I looked around at my friends gathered in the living room at his place this afternoon. If I spent another hour in my office I'd definitely lose my mind, so I made plans with Seungmin to talk about the file security and we decided to invite the guys over as well since we didn't meet after Christmas and New Year's.

"So," Hyunjin said, breaking the silence with a grin. "Someone disappeared for a long time during Mr. John's party"

The guys' eyes flickered to Hyunjin then me, I shifted in my seat taking another sip of my bourbon while having Hyunjin smirking at me without an end.

"Oooooh," Han interjected, leaning forward with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Spill the tea, Hyunjin. What happened?"

"Nothing happened" I said defensively. The last thing I needed was for them to turn this into a grand drama. But it wasn't like they were gonna stop anyway.

Hyunjin leaned back, stretching his arms on the head of the couch. "Well, I was just chatting with Aria, you know, making polite conversation. Then Chris here comes over, looking like he's about to rip someone's head off, and next thing we know, the two of them disappeared for the rest of the night."

The room went to a chorus of oooohs, Changbin bursted laughing, slapping his knee, the sound echoing through the whole room. Sometimes his laughter was funnier than the joke itself, contagious and impossible to ignore.

"Oh man, did you get jealous? Of our Hyunjin?!" Changbin managed between laughs, wiping tears from the corners of his eyes.

"The hell? No I didn't."

Yes you did.

I kept my glass on the table with a soft thud and looked at him, "I just didn't like the way this guy," I gestured at Hyunjin, narrowing my eyes at who was supressing his laughter, "was looking at her"

Felix chuckled. "Sounds like jealousy to me. You were worried Hyunjin would sweep her off her feet with his charms."

Hyunjin closed his eyes nodding proudly. "I mean, can you blame her? I'm the Versace Prince after all."

Ever since he got crowned Versace Prince by Donatella Versace herself, it's been impossible to shut his mouth about it. Not that I blame him. I'd be crazy flattered if I were to get crowned in only a few months of modelling for them.

"I wasn't jealous." I said firmly. "I was just concerned"

Han wagged his finger at me. "Sounds like someone's got it bad. You actually care, huh?"

I sighed, shaking my head, pinching the bridge of my nose. "It's not like that. I just wanted to make sure she was okay."

"Sure, keep telling yourself that," Lee Know said with a smirk.

"But disappearing with her for the rest of the night? That's a bit more than just 'making sure she's okay.'" His fingers air quoting as he spoke.

The guys laughed, but I couldn't stop from playfully scoffing at their teasing. If I told my old self who was erratic and carefree in Europe that I am now married and my friends giving me shit, calling me out on being 'jealous', that Chris would have asked me if I was high on crack.

"We heard about the whole 'wife calling you during a meeting' thing. Bet that was a first, huh?"

My head immediately turned to Seungmin as Changbin's question remained unanswered, the guy was hiding his grinning face behind that screen, trying to avoid my glare.

Seungmin glanced up, feigning innocence. "What? It's not like it's a state secret."

I rubbed the back of my neck and cracked my knuckles, "She never calls me, so I knew something was wrong."

Felix leaned forward, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "And you rushed home like a knight in shining armor, didn't you?"

"Shut up, Felix," I glared at him. "I did what anyone would do."

"Yeah, right," Han chimed in, nudging I.N. "Our fearless leader, dropping everything for his lady. It's almost romantic."

"Almost?" I.N raised an eyebrow. "I'd say it's pretty damn romantic. Next thing we know, he'll be writing her love letters."

"Or serenading her with his guitar," Lee Know added with a smirk.

"You guys are impossible. It wasn't that dramatic." I grabbed my glass again and chugged down the remaining liquid, coughing lightly. Jack Daniel's is better.

"Sure it wasn't," Felix said, grinning. "Just admit it. You were worried."

"Not worried," I corrected, trying to maintain some dignity. "Just concerned."

"Concerned, worried, same thing," Lee Know said, waving a hand dismissively.

I took a deep breath, trying to keep my cool. "What we do in private doesn't need to be involved in our conversations."

"Right," Changbin interjected, a sly grin on his face. "Because what happens behind closed doors is where the real magic happens, isn't it?"

I rolled my eyes. "You guys have way too much time on your hands"

"Since you're the only married person among us and constantly need advice, it very much is an interesting topic," Seungmin added, glancing over the top of his laptop with a smirk.

Despite their relentless teasing, there was a warmth in their banter that reminded me why these moments felt kind of good. Friends who give you shit and still have your back, they were the best.

Hyunjin clapped me on the back getting up from his spot, “Just remember, if you ever need guidance on how to keep a lady happy, you know where to find me.”

“Thanks, but I think I’ll pass." I kept Aria happy enough— probably not in the best way, but I'd rather step on a thousand Legos than see her that close to him again.

What the fuck. Am I actually jealous?

As I leaned back on the couch, my mind swirled with thoughts. I'm beginning to hate the way I'm starting to feel around Aria. Getting too close to her will only make it harder for both of us when our...deadline reaches.

Which is in exactly seven months from now.

This was a problem. Not just because of the ticking clock on our arrangement, but because I wasn't supposed to feel this way. I shouldn't feel this way. We had a clear line drawn between us. But lately, that line was starting to blur.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair, the weight of my thoughts pressing down on me. Although at the same time, I'm starting to actually like how there's someone to go home to. Unlike last year when my mansion was empty, my housekeeper and butler spent more time there than I did.

It was unsettling how quickly I'd grown used to her laughter echoing through the hallways and her presence filling the emptiness. The way her cheeks swell when she smiles or how good she feels in my arms. And how quickly I'd come to look forward to it.

"We'll figure this out"

"And you won't. You've come this far"

Aria's words replayed in my head again, the way she reassured me. There was a warmth in her voice, a sincerity that cut through my defenses.

She believed in me, in us.

It was more than I ever expected from this arrangement.

I stared at my friends who were engrossed in their own worlds. Min's head glued to his laptop, Hyunjin, Changbin and Lee Know gaming, Felix texting and scrolling his phone while Han and I.N snacking, engaging in a conversation.

And my mind was a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. I was used to control, to having everything in its place. But Aria had a way of dismantling my rules without even trying. It was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.

Part of me wanted to push her away, like I did with almost everyone except for my parents and my friends. To keep the distance that had always been there. But another part of me, a part I was struggling to ignore, wanted to pull her closer.

I shook my head, trying to clear the fog of confusion. This was a dangerous path. Letting my guard down, letting her in, could only end in heartache.

But as much as I tried to convince myself otherwise, I couldn't deny that she was becoming a part of my life. More than just a contract and a part I wasn't sure I wanted to let go of when the time came.

With the launch and fucking Victor trying to bring me down, my life had become a balancing act on a razor’s edge. Every decision, every move felt more critical than ever. And now, with Aria in the mix, it was getting harder to keep everything on track.

I leaned back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling of Min's living room, the sounds of my friends' laughter fading into the background. The weight of my thoughts pressed down on me, making it hard to breathe.

Seven months.

That was all the time I had to figure out if I could let go of the woman who was turning my world upside down, or if I was willing to risk everything for a chance at something real.

"Are sure you want to have your Pre-launch event in this Venue?" The sudden voice felt like a splash of cold water, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"What?" My voice got caught in my throat, I turned to see Han, standing next to me scrolling his phone without looking up.

"The venue. Are you sure you wanna have the event there?" He asked arching an eyebrow, removing his eyes from the screen.

"Yeah." I replied, trying to refocus. "This place has the right mix of elegance and exclusivity."

"Cool. I'll email you the details by tomorrow and the guest list?"

"Jane has it set. She should have sent it to you by now" I said, shifting slightly on the plush sofa. Han nodded, his fingers moving swiftly as he made a note.

My father suggested we hold a Pre-launch event to build hype and attract potential investors for the upcoming line. He always had a knack for these things, knowing just when and how to create a buzz.

He also suggested I speak with the event host he has been working with over the years but I knew better to trust Han with my event.

Just at the age of 23, Han managed to host successful events for multiple brands and had quickly built a reputation as the go-to guy for high-profile launches. His attention to detail, coupled with his ability to anticipate what would captivate an audience, made him invaluable.

"Just make sure everything is flawless. No room for errors," I reminded Han, though I knew I didn't need to. His track record spoke for itself.

"Don't worry," Han replied, his tone confident. "I've got everything under control. This is going to be the talk of the town."

I nodded at him and took a moment to look around at the guys. Seungmin, was the tech genius, which makes sense why his penthouse looks more like a micro data center rather than an actual house, who made sure my digital security was airtight and of his other clients as well.

Changbin, lounging comfortably, was the CFO of Tommy Hilfiger, his sharp mind for finance keeping budgets and investments on track. Lee Know involved shaping trends and setting new standards in luxury fashion was the Creative Director of Gucci.

Felix and Hyunjin, the dynamic duo, were renowned models for Louis Vuitton and Versace, while I.N, with his magnetic presence and social media savvy, served as a brand ambassador for Bottega Veneta.

And I, currently am COO but the future CEO of Aurelius.

As the evening sun painted the penthouse in golden hues, the excitement and anticipation among us were palpable for the Pre-launch event. I glanced at my watch, it was almost 5pm, I did kind of promise Aria I'll be home by the evening.

Since I truly suck at telling how I feel, I might as well treat Aria a bit more...nicer, for the remaining six months before we have to part ways. For some damn reason that thought made my heart clench, it was a heavily uncomfortable feeling.

With a sigh, I stood up from the plush sofa, catching the attention of my friends.

Changbin raised an eyebrow, a knowing smile playing on his lips. "Off to be the dutiful husband, Chris?"

I chuckled lightly, rolling my eyes as I straightened my shirt. "Something like that."

"She'll be coming to the party won't she?" Felix asked, sitting down on the couch holding a glass of water. Him, I.N, and Han never drink when it's not a weekend.

"Yes," I tried to keep my tone casual.

"Better watch out," Seungmin who finally laid down his laptop, gestured at Hyunjin, "Or this guy might steal her away again" said with a smirk spread across his face as he poured himself a glass of bourbon.

Hyunjin grinned mischievously. "Like I said, can you blame her? I've got irresistible charm."

The guys chuckled, and I could feel the heat rising to my face. "Don't push your luck," I said, my voice was tinged with annoyance.

"Why not? It's not like it bothers you" He let out deep chuckle, somehow that only irritated me more.

"She's my wife."

The room fell into a silence like a sudden drop in temperature, leaving the air thick and tense. The words slipped out unexpectedly, surprising even myself, the guys exchanged glances, then all their eyes fell on me as I stood their as if I was rooted into the floor.

"About time you admitted that" Lee Know chimed in, clinking his glass with Seungmin, a cocky grin playing on his lips while bringing his glass up.

"Let's not make a big deal out of it." I muttered, slipping my phone and keys into my pocket, I could feel the weight of their scrutiny, their eyes on me like lasers. 

"Too late for that," I.N's amused expression was hard to miss.

I could feel the weight of their gazes, their smirks, and the unspoken words hanging in the air. Their reactions only fueled my desire to get out of here.

"See you guys later." I grabbed the jacket off the couch and headed for the door, their laughter and teasing followed me. But I didn't bother to defend it. I didn't want to defend it.

As I made my way towards the elevator, that same unfamiliar feeling settled in my chest.

The lights flashed as I clicked the key to my Porsche, the engine roared and I swifted into the streets. The sun began descending in the horizon, painting the sky in hues of orange and yellow, the nightlife beginning to stir as I drove by.

A flower boutique caught my eye as I drove through the bustling streets, I went past it, then without thinking, I U-turned. I pulled up to the curb, parked and stepped out into the setting evening air.

I haven't stopped at a flower shop before, hell I never had a reason to buy flowers in the first place.

The bell above the shop door chimed softly as I entered. The place was surrounded by gorgeous flowers, filling the air with the sweet scent of fresh blooms. A young woman behind the counter looked up, smiling.

"Good evening. How can I help you?"

"Hello. I'm looking for tulips," I said, my voice sounding almost foreign to my ears.

"Of course," She gestured me to a vibrant display of flowers, and there they were, their petals a mix of pinks and purples sitting in delicate glass vases. I stepped closer, the sweet fragrance enveloping me.

She wrapped a neat bouquet of purple tulips delicately and tied it with a satin ribbon as I searched for my wallet.

"Someone must be very special," She commented as she finished wrapping it.

"Yeah," I replied, taking the bouquet, feeling a slight unfamiliar flutter in my chest.

"She is"

I handed a hundred dollar bill, her eyes widening slightly at the sight of it before she quickly composed herself.

"Sorry sir, we can't break a hundred."

I smiled slightly, holding out the bill. "Keep it," I said. "It's a tip." 

Her expression shifted to one of surprise, then gratitude, her cheeks flushing slightly as she accepted the bill. "Thank you," she replied, her voice sincere.

I nodded, barely acknowledging her thanks as I turned my attention back to the bouquet in my hands. The tulips were delicate, almost fragile, their colors vivid against the darkening evening outside.

I walked back to my car and placed the bouquet on the passenger seat, it's soft fragrance mixing with the scent of leather. The city lights flashed past in a blur as I drove home as the flowers rested beside me.

Once I pulled up to the driveway of my mansion, my heart began thundering in my chest like a like a drumbeat echoing through an empty hall.

I took a deep breath and got out of the car grabbing the bouquet, and walked inside, the cool evening air brushing against my skin. The house was quiet, the only sound was my footsteps on the marble floor and the door slowly closing shut behind me.

"Aria?" My voice echoed, bouncing off the walls, only the lights from first floor and the living room were on, Aria was no where to be found until she came out of the guest room holding her tablet.

"Oh Chris, Hey. You're home early."

"Yeah I was with the guys and um," A hand embarassingly went behind my neck while the other came from my back, holding the bouquet.

When the hell did I hide the bouquet behind my back?!

"I got these for you." I handed it to her, my heart racing at the speed of a runaway train.

Aria's eyes widened in surprise, and for a moment, she just stared at the flowers. Then, a soft smile spread across her face as she took the bouquet from me, her fingers brushing lightly against mine.

"Oh Chris, thank you."

I shifted uncomfortably, not used to these kind of intimate gestures. "You're welcome. I know they're your favorite."

She looked up at me, her eyes shining with genuine appreciation. "They are."

Feeling the awkwardness of the moment, I cleared my throat, it felt like I had a cactus shoved right down it. "I know that we are a bit... complicated"

Dear fucking heaven. Why was talking to my own wife so hard?

Her eyes were glued to me, then fell on the tulips, then back to me. Good God, I might explode here out of sheer discomfort. I felt like a teenager fumbling through his first confession.

"I just wanted to, you know, show that I'm, I don't know. Trying."

She smiled softly, her fingers tracing the petals of the tulips. "I can see that, and it means a lot."

I nodded, feeling a strange mix of relief and tension. "Yeah, well, don't get used to it. I'm not exactly Mr. Romantic."

She laughed gently, a sound that was both comforting and nerve-wracking. "I won't. But it's nice to see this side of you."

I ran a hand through my hair, trying to ease the tension in me. "Thanks. Don't expect too much."

She just shook her head, chuckled and walked near the vase that was on our coffee table removing the roses and putting in the tulips. Okay, since when did we have roses in the house?

And that's it?

Whatever. I didn't care. I took a deep breath and walked to her, her presence was genuinely comforting and terrifying at the same time, I started to wonder when did I get so affected by her.

She glanced up from the vase, her expression soft but curious. "Want dinner?"

A knowing worked its way onto my mouth at her question and right as she turned away figuring out my intentions, I grabbed her wrist, pulling her to me and lifted her up on my shoulder.

"CHRIS!"

"Oh yes sweetheart, I do."

------------------------

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If you want to be added to the taglist, let me know <3 (If I missed someone please lmk)

Thank you for reading!

xx,Ivyy

Next Chapter

[dietmountaindreww]

the interview

Part 1

Drew Starkey x Female Reader

warnings: none!! fluff, slightly suggestive.

Y/N and Drew are in the back of the taxi which he politely ordered for them, sitting across each-other. Drew knew Y/N had anxiety and her leg can’t help but shake slightly with nerves. This would be her first press interview ever.

“Hey, you okay?” He asks and placed his hand on her leg softly over her skirt, helping to calm her shaking, not making a big deal out of the situation. “We will be there in no time, you are going to be amazing, i’m sure of it.” Drew promised, looking into Y/N’s eyes. She looked at him, before calming down; something about his touch was so soothing. “Yeah, i’m just nervous. But i’m sure i’ll be fine with you there.” Y/N replied calmly. “What’s it like? Being interviewed?”Drew smiles. “At first it’s weird, you aren’t sure how to answer questions sometimes. It sort of feels like being put on the spot, but it’s all part of being an actor.” He explained, wanting to help take some pressure off her as he could tell she was nervous. “After a few times it won’t be as weird anymore, trust me.. we will be fine, I know that.” Y/N smiled and nodded in appreciation of his gentle reassurance. “Thank you Drew.”

She looks out the taxi window to the busy streets of Downtown New York, before realising his hand was still resting on her leg.. she didn’t react physically of course but her heart and mind was racing at an unbelievable speed. “No worries.” Drew winked playfully, taking her hand from off her leg as he sets it on the window bar, he glanced over to see if she was okay. He didn’t want to make it awkward and all he wanted to do was comfort Y/N.. he’s also looking at her because she looks absolutely beautiful.. drawing his eyes away quickly before it was noticeable.

The taxi stops and they arrive at a reporters building, where their interview is. Although Drew had been in Outer Banks since season one, Y/N was joining him to do a dual interview seeing as she played the Drew’s character’s love interest.. essentially a main part in the show. “Is this the place” Y/N asked Drew as she stepped out the car after he insisted on holding the door open for her. Drew looked back at the building, slightly nervous now too. But he plastered a smile just for her. “Yeah, i think so.” He takes her hand softly, walking inside the building and heading to reception. Drew whispered to Y/N as a woman escorted them down a corridor. “You’ll be fine, the press will love you.” He’s a good friend and he knows how terrifying it can be in the limelight. Y/N returned a soft smile of gratitude before entering a small room where she and Drew shook hands with the Female Reporter and the Camera crew. Drew gives Y/N a professional nod as they sit in two chairs opposite the reporter, about to start live-streaming.

The reporter sits down, direct to them after hearing the command; “ACTION!” Y/N is happily giving the woman her full respect and attention, Drew admires this before doing the same.

“Drew, what is there to expect from your character, Rafe Cameron in season four of Outer Banks?” The woman shuffled her cards before listening to his response. Drew smiled, speaking as a natural. “I can promise you season four is going to be amazing. You are all definitely going to see me more in action, viewing Rafe at his best and his worst.. he certainly has some big choices to make and definitely some hard ones. For himself, and those who he loves.” Drew motioned to Y/N playfully, “A lot more action and drama, as if there wasn’t enough already.” The three of them chuckled at this. Nodding in agreement, the reporter turned to Y/N. “Y/N, as a new character how did you settle in with the cast? How was filming?” Y/N smiles and replied surprisingly with immediate confidence. “Working with the cast and filming crew has been such an honour, and i’ve made such great friends in the past few years of filming. The cast are like family to me already and we’re more than welcoming.” Drew smiles at her reply, he is more than happy she feels so comfortable and he knows how important it is to have the support of your friends and colleagues on set.

The reporter looked at both of them. “How did you find playing each others love interests, was it awkward?” Y/N giggled slightly before responding on her half, “I’ve loved working with Drew, honestly it was a dream. He’s so good at what he does and he makes everything fun, so nothing was ever awkward. I don’t think i could’ve done it with anyone else.” Drew chuckled, she was really doing well and it made him feel more at ease somehow. “I completely agree with Y/N, she’s so talented and definitely has her moments where she lights up the room.” Y/N blushes slightly before turning back to the reporter who has her next question ready.

“Will we be seeing buzzcut Rafe or curtain bangs Rafe this season?” They answer several more questions before the reporter was on the final two questions.“The fans want to know.. are you two a thing?”

The camera man looked in confusion at the reporter, seeing this question wasn’t on their set list. Y/N blushes profusely before smiling uncomfortably. “No.. just friends” she awkwardly replied. Drew feels quite awkward and doesn’t know how to answer this. “We’re just really good friends, nothing more.”

The reporter nodded. “Final question is selected by the viewers watching this live stream right now.. What’s each of your dream roles in a movie?”

Y/N smiles at the camera and waves cutely. “Hi everyone, thanks for your support!” Before turning back to the reporter, “I’d love to be in a marvel movie. I always loved the comics growing up.” Drew smiles. Y/N could definitely land a role in a marvel movie with that beauty and that body. “I can see that Y/N, As for me I would just love to be the lead in any sort of action movie, it’s really fun and i think i’m pretty good at it too. I would love to be in something like that.”

The reporter thanked them and Y/N and Drew are walking out to exit the building. “That was so much better than i thought it would go.” Y/N giggled as they walked out into main street. Drew shrugged, “That went pretty smoothly, i’m so proud of you.” Y/N blushes before Drew spoke and hugged her tightly with a friendly smile. “Do you want to celebrate your first interview success?”

Y/N felt a little flustered in his arms as she remembered a few weeks ago when he held her like this when they hooked up. It was like they never mentioned anything that happened.. friends with benefits with a full stop. “Sure , How were you thinking we celebrate?”

Drew pulled away, hands in pockets. “I thought we could have dinner and maybe some wine too.. or if you prefer we can just go to mine and watch a movie.. or we can go to town.. you choose. How does that sound?” He wants whatever she would like to do, and Y/N nodded, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Wine sounds nice.”

[agirlwithdemonblood]

The Celebrity Next Door: Chapter 8: Embracing Enough

Pairings: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Chapter Summary: A day spent on the board walk brings a whirwind of emotions.

Warnings: Panic attacks, fluff, panicking, insecurities.

Series Masterlist here!! & Main masterlist here!

Time flies when you're having fun, or so they say.

I used to doubt it; fun didn't always make time race by for me. But this past week with Jensen and his kids felt like just hours since they arrived. Now here they were, packing up to head back to their mom's place.

I gathered my things, slipping on my shoes by the back door, preparing to leave when Jensen wandered over, a playful smirk on his face. "Where are you sneaking off to?" he teased, pulling me close by my coat.

I chuckled, gently pushing his chest back. "Home, silly."

His smile faltered, and he looked at me, surprised, almost hurt. "Why?"

Confusion washed over me as I approached him, offering a polite smile. "What do you mean, why? Out of respect. Remember last time?"

His expression turned cold, and he glanced away, attempting to rebuild his walls. "Hey, Jensen, don't do that," I urged gently. "I'm not trying to upset you. Last time we agreed we were enjoying the drama-free zone. We don't have to change anything."

He frowned, shaking his head. "I want it to change. I don't want to hide anymore. This past week has been amazing for all of us. I want our little bubble to pop and step into the real world, together."

I smiled, setting my bag down and moving closer to wrap my arms around him. "Then let's pop it."

Half an hour later, the kids' mom arrived.

I swallowed my nerves, standing from my spot, glancing to Jensen who seemed even more nervous than I was.

Her face dropped when she saw me, a knowing smile on her lips. "Oh, Hi. Y/N, right?" she greeted, stepping closer to us.

I nodded, smiling warmly. "Yes, nice to see you again, Sarah!"

She maintained her composure, glancing at Jensen, who was unusually quiet and still, frozen almost. "Jensen? Are you going to say hi or just stand there like a deer in headlights?" she teased.

Jensen managed a polite smile, shaking off his nerves. "Hey, Sarah. How was the drive?"

She shrugged, looking towards her car. "Not bad. I do miss Austin, though. Might consider moving back."

Jensen's jaw clenched, his expression turning cold and guarded, walls going up brick by brick. I stepped back, letting them talk, sitting beside the kids on the stairs.

"So, did you guys have a good week?" I asked.

Katie nodded, leaning against my shoulder. "I'll miss you!"

I laughed softly, touched by her words. "I'll miss you too, Katie. But don't worry, I live right next door. Come visit me whenever you're back, okay?"

She nodded eagerly, and I turned to Kevin, who sat with arms crossed, wearing a grouchy expression. "And you, Kevin? Did you have a good week?"

He shrugged and huffed, retreating into his cold behaviour as if the week hadn't happened at all. It stung a bit, but he was a kid, struggling with the back-and-forth between parents. It couldn't be easy.

The parents' voices rose before falling silent altogether. Jensen walked away from Sarah, shaking his head, and approached Katie and Kevin, attempting a smile. "Come on, guys. Time to get in the car."

We waved goodbye as they drove off, and I couldn't help but feel a sting of sadness seeing Katie and Jensen look so downhearted. They weren't my family yet, but I could feel myself growing emotional seeing the hurt that filled the area.

Once the car was out of sight, Jensen sat on the stairs, and I joined him quickly. He stared out at the road, jaw clenched, fists tight with whatever was going on in his mind.

"Jensen?" I whispered, catching his attention.

He turned towards me, managing a sad smile. "I'm good. It's just a lot sometimes."

I nodded understandingly, squeezing his hand tightly. "Well, why don't we do something today? Get out of the house a bit?"

He smiled genuinely and squeezed my hand. "Yeah. Let's do it."

After looking up things to do, Jensen suggested we visit the beachside market. It had little kiosks and stands with handmade items, something I was excited to explore.

We parked on the street, his hand finding mine immediately. Jensen was never shy about affection in the right moments. With his kids around, it was innocent; just the two of us, it was constant and comforting.

As we strolled down the pier, I admired the beautiful booths displaying a range of handmade items—henna art, handmade bags, clothing, and more. It felt like walking through an art exhibit, each stall captivating my attention.

Jensen chuckled softly, drawing my gaze. "What?" I asked nervously.

He smirked, pulling me close. "You're adorable. That's what."

My cheeks flushed at the compliment, Jensen was never shy of that either. He'd constantly throw compliments at me, telling me how beautiful I was, how adorable. He didn't realize how much those words meant to me, especially since I didn't feel like skmeone who belonged beside a celebrity like him, but he made me feel otherwise.

We continued down the boardwalk, stopping at each booth. Jensen paused at a display of handmade gemstone necklaces while I spotted something intriguing at the nearby booth—a handmade beanie with "COD" embroidered on it, Call of Duty.

My thoughts turned to Kevin. Would he like it? Would he find it ridiculous? Jensen wrapped his arms around me from behind, a soft kiss on my shoulder sending shivers down my spine. "What are you looking at?"

I smiled, pointing to the beanie hanging on the rack. "I'm not sure if Kevin would like it, but..."

He turned me to face him, a wide grin on his face. "He'd love it."

We purchased the beanie and were about to leave when giggling caught my attention. Two girls from a nearby booth were whispering and giggling, eyeing Jensen like he was a celebrity cutout.

Time seems to fly when you're having fun, or so they say. I used to doubt it; fun didn't always make time race by for me. But this past week with Jensen and his kids felt like mere hours since they arrived. Now they were packing up to head back to their mom's place. Kevin and Katie sorted their bags in the hallway while Jensen came down the stairs, as usual, to see them off.

I gathered my things, slipping on my shoes by the back door, preparing to leave when Jensen hurried over, a playful smirk on his face. "Where are you sneaking off to?" he teased, pulling me close by my coat.

I chuckled, gently pushing his chest back. "Home, silly."

His smile faltered, and he looked at me, surprised, almost hurt. "Why?"

Confusion washed over me as I approached him, offering a polite smile. "What do you mean, why? Out of respect. Remember last time?"

His expression turned cold, and he glanced away, attempting to rebuild his walls. "Hey, Jensen, don't do that," I urged gently. "I'm not trying to upset you. Last time we agreed we were enjoying the drama-free zone. We don't have to change anything."

He frowned, shaking his head. "I want it to change. I don't want to hide anymore. This past week has been amazing for all of us. I want our bubble to be real. I want us to step out into the real world together."

I smiled, setting my bag down and moving closer to wrap my arms around him. "Then let's change it."

Half an hour later, the kids' mom arrived. I swallowed my nerves, standing my ground as Jensen seemed even more nervous than me.

Her face dropped when she saw me, a knowing smile on her lips. "Oh, hi. Y/N, right?" she greeted, stepping closer to us.

I nodded, smiling warmly. "Yes, nice to see you again, Daneel!"

She maintained her composure, glancing at Jensen, who was unusually quiet and still, frozen almost. "Jensen? Are you going to say hi or just stand there like a deer in headlights?" she teased.

Jensen managed a polite smile, shaking off his nerves. "Hey, Daneel. How was the drive?"

She shrugged, looking towards her car. "Not bad. I do miss Austin, though. Might consider moving back."

Jensen's jaw clenched, his expression turning cold and guarded, walls going up brick by brick. I stepped back, letting them talk, sitting beside the kids on the stairs.

"So, did you guys have a good week?" I asked.

Katie nodded, leaning against my shoulder. "I'll miss you!"

I laughed softly, touched by her words. "I'll miss you too, Katie. But don't worry, I live right next door. Come visit me whenever you're back, okay?"

She nodded eagerly, and I turned to Kevin, who sat with arms crossed, wearing a surly expression. "And you, Kevin? Did you have a good week?"

He shrugged and huffed, retreating into his chilly demeanor as if the week hadn't happened at all. It stung a bit, but he was a kid, grappling with the back-and-forth between parents. It couldn't be easy.

The parents' voices rose before falling silent altogether. Jensen walked away from Daneel, shaking his head, and approached Katie and Kevin, attempting a smile. "Come on, guys. Time to get in the car."

We waved goodbye as they drove off, and I couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness seeing Katie and Jensen look so crestfallen. They weren't my family yet, but I felt a deep emotional tug.

Once the car was out of sight, Jensen sat on the stairs, and I joined him quickly. He stared out at the road, jaw clenched, fists tight with some inner turmoil.

"Jensen?" I whispered, catching his attention.

He turned towards me, managing a sad smile. "I'm good. It's just a lot sometimes."

I nodded understandingly, squeezing his hand tightly. "Well, why don't we do something today? Get out of the house a bit?"

He smiled, the first genuine one all morning. "Yeah. Let's do it."

After looking up things to do, Jensen suggested we visit the beachside market. It boasted kiosks and stands with handmade items, something I was excited to explore.

We parked on the street, his hand finding mine immediately. Jensen was never shy about affection in the right moments. With his kids around, it was innocent; just the two of us, it was constant and comforting.

As we strolled down the pier, I marveled at the beautiful booths displaying an array of handmade goods—henna art, handmade bags, clothing, and more. It felt like walking through an art exhibit, each stall captivating my attention.

Jensen chuckled softly, drawing my gaze. "What?" I asked nervously.

He smirked, pulling me close. "You're adorable. That's what."

My cheeks flushed at the compliment, Jensen never holding back his admiration. He didn't realize how much those words meant to me. I didn't feel like someone who belonged beside a celebrity like him, but he made me feel otherwise.

We continued down the boardwalk, stopping at each booth. Jensen paused at a display of handmade gemstone necklaces while I spotted something intriguing at the adjacent booth—a handmade beanie with "COD" embroidered on it, Call of Duty.

My thoughts turned to Kevin. Would he like it? Would he find it ridiculous? Jensen wrapped his arms around me from behind, a soft kiss on my shoulder sending shivers down my spine. "What are you looking at?"

I smiled, pointing to the beanie hanging on the rack. "I'm not sure if Kevin would go for it, but..."

He turned me to face him, a wide grin on his face. "He'd love it."

I purchased the beanie and were about to leave when giggling caught my attention. Two girls from a nearby booth were whispering and giggling, eyeing Jensen like he was a celebrity cutout.

I glanced at Jensen, who seemed unbothered, unaware of the giggles or the fingers being pointed his way, and then I remembered. He's a celebrity-this is normal for him.

We started to walk back down the boardwalk when their high pitched screams stopped us in our tracks, the girls from before rushing over, stopping only inches from Jensen.

"Jensen! Oh my god! Can we get a picture please?"

Jensen turned towards me apologetically, but I shrugged it off with a polite smile. I knew this could have happened, I knew he was a celebrity, I just forgot. I didn't realize how intense this could be. How does he handle this?

After snapping a few photos for the girls, I handed back their phone. Insecurities started swallowing me, watching their perfect smiles, beautiful clothing and sun-kissed skin, and than there was me. I wasn't the type anyone would expect to see with a celebrity. Anxiety crept in, wondering why Jensen chose me.

I passed the phone back and started walking down the boardwalk, my anxiety rising with every step, the air in my lungs squeezing tight as my mind continued it's torture.

He caught up as I walked ahead, his hand gently resting on my back. "Hey... Are you okay?"

I nodded, forcing a smile that didn't quite reach my eyes. Panic swirled inside me, doubts echoing loudly.

Your not enough. Your fooling yourself by thinking he would EVER want to be with you. Jensen deserves better. He doesn't find you attractive. You're nothing.

"Honey?" Jensen whispered, stopping me and looking into my eyes, concern etched on his face.

I swallowed hard, a raspy cough escaping me, breathing fast. "Okay... okay, deep breaths," Jensen coached gently, his touch comforting.

I hated it. I hated that he was staring at me like this. I hated that I was ruining everything with my stupid mind. I hated that he had to take care of me. I hated that I wasn't good enough for him.

His hand was gentle yet firm on my arm, leading me to the stairs on the pier to get some privacy. I shakingly sat down, throwing my head in my hands to avoid whatever pity look he was offering me.

"Honey. Please talk to me, what's going on?"

Great job Y/N, now your worrying him for no reason.

"Jensen... you don't need to... I'll be okay," I managed between breaths, but the fear and sadness in my eyes were evident.

"Why are you saying this?" he asked softly, tilting his head, eyes searching mine.

I shook my head, tears streaming down. "Because... I'm not worth it... I don't fit in your world, Jensen Ackles and... I'm just me."

He took my hand, tilting my chin to meet his gaze. A soft smile graced his lips as he spoke, his eyes firm. "Says who?"

"Everybody." I raised my voice, the anxiety rising each moment. "Society. You seen those girls, I'm nothing compared to them. Their sun kissed skin, beautiful outfits and model like faces. I'm not like that at all."

He nodded and moved in front of me, holding my hands tightly. "You're right. Your not like those girls, that's why I like you. I love that even though you've been here for a while, you still have light skin, I love that I can clearly see the sun spots and freckles on your face, I love that you don't spend hours in the mirror putting makeup on, you just instantly look gorgeous. What you look like doesn't determine your worth but if it did, trust me your more than worth it."

I rolled my eyes and gained the courage to stand, my thoughts spiralling. "You don't need to say that."

He moved quickly, grabbing my arm and spinning me around until I was nestled tightly against him, his hand softly urging my head to rest on his chest.

"You are more than enough. You've never demanded anything from me. You gave me a second chance when I didn't deserve it. You've helped me countless times without expecting anything in return. And you connect with my kids so well—Kevin won't admit it, but he likes you. You've made an effort to play video games with him, to do what he enjoys. Katie takes up a lot of time, and I worry he feels left out, but you see him. You effortlessly balance everything, without seeking praise."

I wrapped my arms around him, holding him tightly, feeling him ground me. He understood me better than anyone.

"You will always be more than enough for me. You're the one I want to be with. Those other girls? They're not beautiful to me. You are beautiful. Naturally, flawlessly gorgeous. Just look at yourself... You take my breath away, honey."

Jensen gently lifted my face towards his, kissing me with a passion I'd never known before. Our bodies pressed together, warmth enveloping us. His hands moving to my hair, pulling me impossibly closer, making sure that I knew he meant what he said.

Each pause for breath left us gasping, caught in a whirlwind of emotions. We were falling in love, or perhaps we already had.

If he could love me like this, then maybe, just maybe, I truly was enough.

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Chapter 9 coming soon stay tuned!

Like, comment, and reblog, feedback is my fuel 💕

[absolutebl]

This Week In BL - Everything is Awful or New or Both

Feb 2023 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessmen t of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

My School President (Fri YT) ep 11 of 12 - It’s an ep 11 so we knew this was gonna be a downer. This was definitely a “date me date my friends” kind of situation. At this rate, GeminiFourth’s other characters in Chicken are going to kiss before TinnGun do. I love Tinn’s dad. Also, it looks like our a tiny little ship of crumbs is sailing. How cute is that!? Sunshine + sunshine! Bonza. 

Bed Friend (Sat YT & iQIYI uncut) 1 of 8 - Fuck buddies get messy, AKA Between Us the second cumming only this time in an office (and on a desk). I have been waiting for James to hold down (or be held down in) a BL for years! All hail the new kings of high heat. BUCKLE UP I GOT A LOT TO SAY. I like that there’s a dark underbelly (*snicker*) of trauma to this one, it has a slightly a Japanese feel which suits mature characters and an office setting. King’s yearning worried eyes are glorious. Poor thing, he totally adores this beautiful broken fragile boy and doesn’t know how to capture his attention. I admit Net was the one I worried about with this pair. James was always gonna be great. It turns out, I didn’t have to worry. This is an awesome show and I fucking love it. It nearly scooped the top spot. Frankly this is the Office BL I have been WAITING for Thailand to give us. 

NOTE: I watched both YT’s cut and iQIYI’s uncut version. (Anyone else feel odd using those terms under a high heat BL context?) I like YT’s better, mostly iQIYI’s interface is shit. Deets? There was a little extra from the “morning after regrets flashbacks” but not so much I think you’ll regret missing it. Unless you REALLY prefer high heat. The emotion of the sexual connection and Uea’s lonely submissive need was transmitted in both versions, but the iQIYI is slightly more MOAR. 

Never Let Me Go (Tues YT) ep 10 of 12 - Flashbacks to the cutest boyfriends ever and then PAIN. All I can think is “thank fuck this was handed to Pond & Phuwin.” One of the world’s saddest executions of the sniff test trope. Meanwhile, Perth is SO GOOD but I wish Chopper would record his conversations with his dad. Look, we all know Chopper is gonna take his dad’s bullet for Nuengdiao, right? Oh well, if you didn’t know, I just told you. 

Moonlight Chicken (Weds YT) 3-4 of 8 - The plot... erm... thickens. I told you Jim had a tragic backstory with an ex. And now it’s all gotten VERY messy. Sigh. Fourth & Gemini are cute, tho. 

Hit Bite Love (Sat YouTube) ep 4-5 of 6 - I do like King & Burger. The idea of giving your perspective boyfriend your CV is ADORBS. Auditioning for the part, as it were. I would like it known that my sexual identity is chili (AKA spicy) henceforth. (My pronouns are MaxTul & sometimes Phi.) Look, this is an absurd show. Last ep it was BDSM 101, this ep we got a lesson on how to use a condom properly? AND why the closet is both necessary and damaging? I mean I applaud their educational endeavors but BL: The After School Special? Did I sign up for Degrassi Junior BL while I wasn’t looking? 

Boyband (Thurs YT) 1 of 10 - BL drama about putting an idol boyband together. AKA how to make ABL suffer by combing favorite (celebrity romances, Kpop) and least favorite (bad singing) tropes. AND? I REALLY like it. It’s fun! What singing there is, is looped not live. So we in Cutie Pie territory. It’s easy to skip. The pairing is rich/poor and I like an other side of the tracks romance.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 5: Love in the Future (Taiwan Weds Viki) ep 8 of 10 (or 15&16 of 20) - Covid strikes. Boyfriends are worried. Omg they are so cute and hot and awkward. Tension in the office politics too. It’ll be okay, babies. 

Jack o’Frost (Japan) ep 1 of 6 - After getting dumped, Ritsu has an accident and gets amnesia. Ikuya, his ex, struggles to help him regain his memories while wondering about the state of their relationship. But Ritsu falls in love with Ikuya all over again. Engaging opening but I’m just not sure about the premise. 

It’s Airing But ... 

Chains of Heart (Sat Gaga) 1 of 10 - Not dropping for me until tomorrow so it’ll be in next week’s round up I hope. Suspense thriller about a forest ranger, smugglers, amnesia, and lost love. Stars Haii (Cirrus in TT2) and Marc (My Gear & Your Gown in YYY). Adapted from a Y-novel of the same name by TJ Tommy.

My Beautiful Man 2 (Viki & Gaga) - Because there are only 4 eps, I decided to wait and binge this one. 

Cafe In Love (Thai) 10 eps on Ch3+ - Thai pulp, stars the actor who played Noh’s best friend Ohm in Love Sick 2. When his coffee shop closes, a man tries everything to save it and falls in love along the way. I had a hunt but can’t find it. 

Moments Of Love (Thai) Feb 14 Foremorfilm Production movie for cinema release. Was originally a series with Golf (609 Bedtime Story & The Eclipse) to direct, and SmartJames (LeonPhob from Don't Say No) to star. BUT is now something totally different. We’re all confused.

Destiny Seeker (Tues WeTV ) 10 eps - it’s not on any WeTV I can get ahold of. Engineering student Songkram is head of dorm 3, for "strong & athletic" students. Aye is head of dorm 2, for the "good looking" students. Aye used to be Songkram's tutor and friend, but they fell apart after becoming dorm heads. Aye is actually in love with Songkram but thinks Sonkram likes someone else. Songkram actually likes Aye. So, Bad Buddy the pulp rebirth meets that weird Japanese “girls-crossdressing-as-boys for love and infiltrating secret society of hotness” tradition.

Our Winter (Thai & Korea ?) - TutorYim vehicle supposedly airing now. Search me. 

The End Of The World, With You AKA Bokura no Micro na Shuumatsu (Japan Sun Gaga) - DNFing this one. It’s way too high heat for them to end it happily and full of dark stuff like cheating, suicide, depression, abuse. I actively HATE one of the main characters and mildly dislike the other. Easier to just stop watching.  

Next Week Looks Like This:

2023 forthcoming BL master post. (see comments some are inaccurate, NOT UPDATED)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

My favorite thing to happen in BL this week. Possibly EVER.

Honestly, such a weird little After School Special. (All Hit Bite Love.) 

SAIL MY LITTLE CRUMBS! SAIL!!!! 

You TELL her, Paw. (All My School President) 

We stan the out boy. Own it, babycakes. (Moonlight Chicken.) 

(last week)

Current Kpop earworm? Beautiful by BEAST, look, sometimes we gotta go back to our roots. Check out the legends for what they were, criticize my taste later. Fuck I miss those times when everyone had to sing live and the one with the hot mic had to stop dancing to catch his breath because, ya know, he still had to sing. 

ALL that said, you slackers should check out HELLO GLOOM - Dancing In The Dark. I alway said IMFACT was the most woke Kpop group, now they broken up(?) nice to see ‘em solo in queer fuck-off style. 

[marley-manson]

M*A*S*H for the fandom ask

Thank you! 💖

Favorite character:

Hawkeye!!! My guy! I have written so many odes to him so I'll refrain here, but man. Big fave.

Least Favorite character:

Potter. Sorry, he's a sweet loveable old traditional man and that absolutely sucks ass for the political messaging, which is my second favourite aspect of mash after the homoeroticism.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon):

Hawk/Trap

Hawk/Frank

Hawk/BJ

Hawk/omc

aaaand Hawk/Charles I guess

Character I find most attractive:

Margie probably

Character I would marry:

Honestly, none of them. All the women with speaking roles are either military volunteers or have established lives and obligations in a war torn country.

Character I would be best friends with:

The random tertiary characters who don't do anything obnoxious and are just kinda there. Kellye, Igor, various unnamed nurses. I don't want to be friends with someone who could be a sitcom character.

a random thought:

I love how long running episodic tv eventually gets like, a fanfic esque vibe, where the writers are writing fully established characters in a fully established setting and incorporating fully established details into their ideas. I find it very satisfying and enjoyable. There's an exchange in Peace on Us, it's a random little offhand line, totally nothing, but basically Charles tells Hawkeye to stop complaining because he has the most points since he's been there longest, so he'll be going home before any of them anyway. And Hawkeye's response is basically, yeah I've been here so long that I have every right to complain.

And I love that in order to write that exchange some writer had to remember that Hawkeye's canonically been there the longest so logically he would have more points than Charles and BJ.

Like I said, absolutely irrelevant detail, there's hundreds just like it, but it's just a good tiny example of something I like about older tv. It's not about consistency either since Mash is bad with continuity lol, it's just about knowing that the writers are building on a world that exists with or without them, I guess.

An unpopular opinion:

Is there one I haven't already talked about at length? Today I will say:

Hawkeye doesn't have a character arc. He doesn't get more worn down, he doesn't lose his resilience. He has ups and downs throughout from season 1 to 11 and he has a breakdown at the end, not a tangible decline. The seventh episode of the whole show was about Hawkeye and Trapper being extremely burned out, there's no down to go from there. The entire show is one big down for Hawkeye. The change is solely tone, and Hawkeye's the only one this really affects because he's the only character there from start to finish, aside from Margaret who did have an arc.

Hawkeye's biggest breakdowns pre GFA are, imo, Dr Pierce and Mr Hyde, and The Late Captain Pierce, both episodes in the first half of the show, and at the very least anything in later seasons like eg Depressing News is equal rather than worse. If anything it could be argued that he gets a little more of a handle on himself and the situation in the later seasons thanks to being there so long. He certainly has enough of a handle on himself to emotionally support the hell out of everyone else for very little support in return lol, and there are moments when he gives others cautionary advice based on his own hard-earned experience, like when he warns Winchester about insomnia in Dr Winchester Mr Hyde.

Like, basically in the early seasons Hawkeye was miserable in dark comedy, in the later seasons he's miserable in character drama with a side of comedy subplots. There's no devolution there.

my canon OTP:

None. The most a canon romance is to me is neutral.

Non-canon OTP:

Hawkeye/Trapper

most badass character:

Klinger. And I love how the show frames him sometimes along those lines - like Margaret and Hawkeye's "isn't there one man among you?" / "The job's open" exchange when they're being held at gunpoint, followed by Klinger showing up in a dress and disarming dude with his stole in White Gold.

pairing I am not a fan of:

Hawkeye/Mulcahy I'll say. I don't dislike it on principle or anything, I'm happy for the fans and its surge in popularity, but I can't say I'm a fan, because I just can't really suspend my disbelief when it comes to Mulcahy fucking - gay fucking even - without like, having an immense religious crisis. And I don't particularly care to read about a priest having a religious crisis, so idk, doesn't work for me any way I slice it.

character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another):

Yeah Klinger's a good choice for this, when he became company clerk, when the show has him flip flop on whether he loves the army because all his friends are in it (I can fanwank it away but if I have to do that it means the show fucked up), when they make him the guy who makes stupid mistakes... all a downgrade.

favourite friendship:

Hawk + Margaret. I love them because they're very odd-couple, they would never be friends outside this circumstance and only became friends within the circumstance after years of enmity and change from Margaret. I don't think they'd remain close after the war, and that's part of what I like about their friendship. It feels real, but temporary and very much a friendship of convenience, because Margaret's the only person around Hawkeye can really have certain kinds of emotional talks with.

character I want to adopt or be adopted by:

n/a

ask meme

[j4m3s-b4k3r]

Slow Horses

Fave viewing over the past few years has been SLOW HORSES on AppleTV+. A spy show with all the intrigues of a John le Carré novel, but if George Smiley was written as a sarcastic smart arse and every other spy was a downbeat comedian. 

River Cartwright chased by one of ’The Dogs’.

The show focusses on spies who’ve disgraced themselves, but for various reasons can’t be set free into the wild. We are led into this espionage backwater by an earnest young spy who has become persona non grata with Mi5. His efforts to get back into the slick world of Regent’s Park puts him at the heart of the action in the series. Though he’s from Mi5 royalty (as his grandfather used to head the organisation) he’s banished to a shabby facility called Slough House. 

Lamb uses his signature flatulent power-move on Taverner. 

This kingdom of losers is ruled by Jackson Lamb, hilariously played by Gary Oldman. Famed for being a chameleon, Oldman is clearly having enormous fun here, playing this jaded old cold warrior, who doesn’t care any more. Lamb has let himself go physically, but is still mentally sharp enough to anticipate when he’s being setup. Which is often, and most likely by his Mi5 boss Diana Taverner (played with deadpan ice queen flair by Kristin Scott Thomas). Her disdain for the screwups of Slough House doesn’t stop her from using their services. These ‘Slow Horses’ are ostensibly kept on by ‘the service’ for menial jobs - filing and desk work - but they are sometimes caught up in intrigues too. Simply because Mi5 often needs fall guys.

Shirley & Marcus pinned down by The Tiger Team.

Mi5 is portrayed as a world of grasping political climbers. The higher up the political totem pole, the more damehoods & knighthoods there are. But ruthless sociopaths abound too. More than willing to sacrifice their underlings if it advances their own interests, or covers up a blunder. The traditional baddies of spy stories are here, but rather than the Russians or international terrorists, domestic political dirty dealing is responsible for most of the body count.

Min & Louisa surprise an intruder at Slough House.

For all their flaws, the Slow Horses have more decency than the ‘winners’. They are prickly & snarky characters, that are nevertheless likeable. A fave of mine is Roddy Ho, Slough House’s IT expert. His hilariously pompous dialog is brilliantly played to the smugly annoying hilt by Christopher Chung. Pint-sized firecracker Shirley Dander (Aimee-Ffion Edwards) and wily old school operative Catherine Standish (Saskia Reeves) are a couple of other faves, but honestly, all the characters have their moments. 

Roddy analyses the kidnap photo of Standish. 

The show-runner is standup comedian & writer Will Smith, who manages to deliver laughs aplenty but also real drama. Main characters can die, and probably when you’d just learned to love them. We enjoyed watching this show so much that, after finishing the 3rd season, we RE-watched the entire thing, and were entertained even more the 2nd time. 

Jackson Lamb has an ice cream.

Having just exhausted all the viewing options available, Julia & I just began the book series that the show is based on, by Mick Herron. Though many details differ, the books are remarkably similar to the TV series, tonally. Added background details to the characters & plots make them enjoyable even after seeing the show. Hopefully they will feed us enough Lamb until season 4 drops at the end of 2024.

[tropes-and-tales-archives]

More Precious Than Rubies: Part 4b

This is an alternate timeline story that has a Rafael Barba track and a Sonny Carisi track. The two paths split off in part 3.

WC: 3390

TW: Angst; end of relationship drama.

AN: The prompt was "I miss her so damn much, and it’s killing me that she’s gone!"

Sonny wasn’t sure that there was anything more he could do, but he thought about you all the time.  As a public defender, there was always a good chance that you’d drift through the precinct, your heels clicking on the tiled floor and your jaw set and ready to brawl with Barba.  When it happened, Sonny could only watch in admiration at how relentless you were. 

And if he enjoyed the way your various twill or Italian wool skirts fit you like a glove, no one needed to know about that other than god and the priest who heard his confession.

He didn’t have anyone to talk to, really.  Amanda was a lost cause, too wrapped up in her own issues.  And Sonny wondered if she’d ever really loved anyone or been in a real relationship.  She seemed to go through men – no shame – but there was no common ground between that and a committed relationship.

The best support he had was Bella and, god help him, her fiancée Tommy.  Sonny had never been much of a fan of Tommy’s, but the man had gotten his life in order after a stint in jail for drug charges.  He worked hard and loved Bella, which was the best Sonny could hope for his sister.  And now that she was pregnant, he hoped it would be enough.

Sonny went over to the couple’s place one Saturday night to cook for them.  Tommy was a lost cause in the kitchen, and Bella was well into the third trimester – complete with swollen feet and a ravenous appetite for their ma’s chicken marsala recipe.  Sonny was only too happy to oblige.

After dinner (said chicken marsala, a mixed green salad, and crusty rolls – all wolfed down by Bella with an appetite that made Sonny smile), the trio sat in the tiny living room and sipped the rest of the red wine that Sonny had brought.  Bella helped herself to half a glass; Sonny had objected, but Bella had given him an earful about how her doctor said that half a glass of red had heart benefits that outweighed the negligible potential bad side effects, and furthermore, if he was such a fucking expert on pregnancy, he was more than welcome to carry the future Baby Sullivan for the next month and a half.  Sonny had looked to Tommy for support halfway through her tirade, but the man wisely averted his eyes and carefully studied the label of the wine bottle until Bella was spent.

There was a heavy silence for a moment, then Sonny’s younger sister asked, as if she hadn’t just yelled at him, how Sonny was doing.  Just like when they were kids:  screaming and pinching each other one minute, friends the next.

“I’m fine,” he replied, but Bella saw right through it.

“Liar.  You look tired.  You sleeping?”

Sonny shrugged.  “Usually.  Some of the stuff I see at work makes it hard.”

Tommy made a sympathetic noise – he had been assaulted repeatedly by his own parole officer and was in therapy as a result, so he knew at least a taste of what SVU dealt with.

“You need someone to go home to,” Bella declared with authority. 

Sonny winced and tried to hide it behind a sip of wine, but his sister caught it. 

“You seeing anyone?” she asked.  “It’s been a while since you got dumped.”

He ducked his head and considered not telling Bella about your recent reappearance in his life but decided to go ahead and tell her.  She’d find out anyway, and maybe she could offer some insight from the female perspective.  When you’d broken up with him over a year ago, Sonny had leaned heavily on his younger sister, crying to her about the loss of you.

So he told her all the news:  how you marched into the precinct one day as a public defender, how you went to lunch with him and accused him of emotionally cheating with Amanda, how you made polite small talk with him and sometimes looked sad when you saw him.  How he didn’t know what to do now.

“She probably still has my number blocked,” he finished.  “And I doubt she’ll go to another lunch with me.  I see her all the time now but can’t get through to her.  I wish…I wish I could just let her know how I really feel.”  He sighed and scrubbed his hands down across his face.  “I miss her so damn much, and it’s killing me that she’s gone!”

Tommy made that sympathetic clucking again, and Bella looked sad too.  You had only met Sonny’s entire family once, but you’d spent time with Bella a handful of times after the two of you clicked instantly.  Sonny had pictured a future where the two of you were married, and Bella and Tommy were married, and your respective children could grow up together, cousins as close as siblings. 

“Well, if you can’t talk to her or call her, you could always write her a letter,” Tommy offered.  He rarely spoke up at Carisi gatherings, and both Sonny and Bella looked at him in surprise.  Tommy shrugged.  “You know, at least you can get your feelings out on paper.  You don’t have to send the letter.  But if you do….” He trailed off, uncomfortable.

Bella cocked her head at her fiancée.  “That’s actually a good idea,” she said, and Tommy beamed.  They both turned and looked at Sonny expectantly.

“Maybe,” he conceded. 

“C’mon,” Bella wheedled.  She punched him lightly in the arm.  “Girls love romantic gestures like that.  And who writes love letters anymore?”

“Maybe,” he repeated, but he was already composing the opening lines.

-----

He typed out all of the drafts on his personal laptop, revising and rewriting and sometimes deleting and starting over entirely.  It took him a week to get a final version ready.

He thought about Bella’s line about romantic gestures and stopped at a stationary store.  He bought some nice, heavy paper edged in a dark blue that reminded him of the sweater you were wearing when he first met you.  He bought a nice pen too, and then he got to work.

If you hadn’t gone to that lunch with him and opened up a bit about where you had been when you broke up with him, Sonny would never even consider writing you a letter.  But you had, and it had given him a slender bit of hope that you’d be open to hearing more from him.

It took a few tries.  His cursive was out of practice, and the first few attempts resulted in misspellings and ink blots.  He kept writing it out until it was perfect though, even if his hand was cramped and aching from writing so much.  Bella was right – who wrote love letters anymore?  If he couldn’t give you anything else, he could at least give you one, perfect love letter.  You deserved that much, at least.

*******

You were feeling great – you had spent the morning at a sexual cybercrimes conference.  You had seen Barba, implied that his coworker O’Dwyer was smarter than him, and then delighted at how offended he looked.  Of all the ADAs you had to deal with on a regular basis, Barba was your favorite to wind up.  You practically skipped back to your office, where a mountain of new cases waited for you.

You shut the door to your office and shed your suit jacket in the airless little room.  You kicked off your heels and slipped into a pair of sandals and settled into your chair. 

You started with the interoffice mail:  standard memos and policy changes and an updated public defender contact list.  There was a retirement card being passed around for an older paralegal who was ready to hang it all up and move to Boca Raton. 

You moved on to your regular mail.  There was the usual junk that slipped past your admin.  A plea for a donation from Fordham.  Some letters from past clients. 

At the bottom of the stack was a manila envelope with your name printed carefully across the front.  No return address – another client, probably.  You opened it and slid out another envelope of heavy, creamy paper.  Your name was written across the face in familiar handwriting.  Your stomach dipped when you recognized it.  Sonny.

You thought about tearing it open then and there, but you got a call to go to the 5th precinct, so you tucked it into your satchel.  It was probably safer to read it at home anyway.

-----

The letter sat in your bag like unexploded ordinance, but you got through the day.  You rushed home, skipped dinner, and poured yourself a tumbler of wine to the brim.  You settled onto your couch, took a deep breath, and opened the letter. 

The paper was heavy stock and gorgeous.  The handwriting was careful – nicer than Sonny’s usual scrawled signature or block printed notes from college.  He’d obviously put time and thought into whatever he wanted to say.  So you took another breath, took a few deep swallows of wine, and read it.  It said:

You probably think that we first met when we both went bowling with our mutual friends, but that wasn’t the first time I’d ever seen you.  The first time I saw you, we were in the same class a semester earlier – Investigative Criminal Procedures.  It was a huge lecture hall, and you always sat about five rows ahead of me.  Of course I noticed you, because you are beautiful, but it was a fight you had with the professor that made me realize how much of that beauty came from deep within you.  Maybe you remember?  Professor Graham had some controversial thoughts about search and seizure, and you shot your hand up, didn’t bother to wait for him to call on you, and then you launched into an impassioned tirade that tore every one of his points apart.

My first thought after that class was that if I ever was in trouble with the law, I was going to hire you as my lawyer.  My second thought was that I was certain that I loved you.

When I finally met you that night at bowling, you see, I already was in love with you.  And you were so friendly and happy, laughing at your own terrible score – I only fell harder.  When I went home that night, I made a vow that I’d make you mine, and for a blessed while, I had.  But I lost my way, and I lost you in the process.

I don’t want to dwell on what I did wrong because I replay it every day of my life.  I just want you to know that I regret, every day, how I neglected you.  How I took you for granted.  How I assumed that you’d wait around for me to get my act together.  How I didn’t put you first or make you feel how special you are to me.  I’ll always regret how I failed you.

But I want to say all the things now that I should have told you when we were together. 

You are, as I said, beautiful, both inside and out.  You always manage to make my heart stop every time I see you, whether you’re in your work suits or in your comfortable pajamas.

You have so many amazing things going for you.  You’re easily the smartest person I know, and you have both book smarts and common sense.  You’re always able to get to the easiest solution to a problem.  You’re abilities in the courtroom as a public defender just proves this.

You have an amazing sense of humor.  You always seem to be able to find the humor in the situation, and you always made me laugh.  And you manage to tease people in a way that builds them up and doesn’t tear them down.  It’s a gift.

You have an amazing heart.  You always show care for your clients, and before that, care for your friends, for me, and even for the strangers who cross your path.  You never seem to judge – you give the homeless man money with the same love you give to your friends when they need you.  I love that about you.  You don’t make people work for your love:  you just give it freely, even when they don’t deserve it.  You certainly gave it to me far longer than I deserved it.

If I had to describe you in a single word, it’d be “rock.”  You were always my steady foundation, my touchstone for when things seemed too hard.  You supported me when I wanted to give up on law school.  You supported me when the NYPD was moving me from precinct to precinct and I wanted to give up on being a detective.  You saw me at my worst moments and kept me grounded and gave me hope.  Sometimes I felt my faith failing me, but I never stopped believing in you.  And no matter what happens, I never will.  

More than anything, I want to you know – really know – that I loved you then and I love you still.  I know why you probably won’t believe that, but it is true.  I know I didn’t give you enough proof of that fact, and I regret it.  I know that you think there was another woman with a place in my heart, but that wasn’t the case and still isn’t the case.  How could there be room for anyone else there, when you took it so utterly and completely?  And when you have it still?

I hope this letter did not upset you.  It was not my intention if it did.  These are all things I should have said a long time ago, when I still had you, and it’s no one’s fault but my own that I have to write them down and send them to you now. 

If nothing else, I want you to know that I loved you completely then, that I love you completely now, and for the rest of my life, I’ll love you just as much.  And as such, I want you to be happy, no matter what that looks like. 

It was signed, “love always, Sonny.”  But you could barely read it through the tears streaming down your face.

You probably read it twelve more times before you went to bed, and since you were unable to sleep, you read it twelve times more.

-----

You saw Sonny across the courtroom a week later, but he just nodded at you and gave you a small smile that didn’t reach his bright blue eyes.  You nodded back and smiled. 

You were working on your own response, in letter form to keep it true to his own letter.  You approached it a lot like your law work – you wrote out an outline and built it from there.

It took you a few weeks to craft the perfect response, and you carried it in your bag for another week.  You didn’t want to mail it to him.  You figured, after the way you’d dumped him, you owed him a hand-delivered letter.  It was the least you could do, especially after he made the ballsy move of even reaching out at all.  And you had to admit that there was something romantic about getting a love letter.  It was a stark contrast to your last attempt at dating, when a guy you’d gone on a first date with texted you a week later with an unimpressive dick pic.

Then you got a call about a client in the 16th who was arrested and about to face arraignment in a day.  You checked your bag and made sure the letter was there.  If you saw Sonny, you vowed to hand it to him then and there.

********

Sonny was tortured by that stupid letter.  You never responded.  He knew deep-down that you might ignore it, but he had some stubborn hope that you’d reach out to him.  He had a stupid, recurring fantasy where you rushed over to his apartment in the middle of the night after reading his letter, tearfully admitting that you still loved him too. 

He saw you once in court, and you nodded at him in greeting but didn’t say anything.  He resigned himself to finally admitting that it was over.  But at least you knew how he felt.  Maybe it gave you some comfort or closure.

-----

It was another grey day in Manhattan.  Well, it was July and sunny, but Sonny didn’t feel particularly up to his nickname.  Amanda was just starting to show in her surprise pregnancy, and she was an irritable, nauseous mess.  Fin and Liv had collared a potential serial date rapist who was preying on Hudson University students, and he sat in the interrogation room after asking for a lawyer.

The elevator dinged, and Sonny heard the familiar click of heels.  He felt his stomach drop while his heart soared, an uncomfortable feeling.  The feeling of possibility that would probably just disappoint him.

You breezed past him and Amanda and strode into the interrogation room where Barba was waiting.  Sonny heard first some low voices, then louder ones as you and Barba got warmed up and then traded snappy retorts as you tried to find a compromise.  Everyone, including Sonny, knew how to read the situation now:  if you marched out with your head tilted and Barba strolled out scowling, it was no deal.  If you marched out with a smile and Barba strolled out scowling, there was a deal.

Today?  You marched out with your head tilted in defiance, and Barba fell in step with you for a few strides, trying to salvage some deal.  Sonny smiled to see it.  Barba never seemed flustered by anything, but you had a way of making the ADA seem rattled.  You just shook your head at him….until your eyes fell on Sonny.

You started to smile, but your eyes slid over to Amanda and Sonny saw it all in slow motion.  He saw your smile falter as you took in his partner’s pregnant belly, and he saw you make a giant assumption about who made it that way. 

“Shit,” he muttered, and he watched you practically sprint out of the bullpen.  Barba, for his part, looked confused and started to follow but stopped.  Sonny went after you and nearly caught up thanks to his long legs, and even though you kept jamming the elevator button, he managed to get his hand in and stop the doors.

He called your name, but you shot him an angry look through tears that were welling in your eyes.

“Let go of the door,” you said through gritted teeth.  Your voice had a shaky quality as you fought the urge to cry.  “Just let me go.”

“No,” he replied.  “I know what you’re thinking….”

“You have no idea what I’m thinking,” you retorted.  You punched the button on the elevator a few more times for good measure, then you reached into your bag.  “I’m thinking that I’m a fucking idiot.  That’s what I’m thinking.”

“It’s not like that,” he pleaded, and he felt his own eyes fill with tears.  You were so distressed; he just wanted to reach out and hold you, but when he extended a hand, you visibly flinched from it.

“I don’t care what it’s like!” you wailed, and you pulled a folded piece of paper – no, pieces of paper – out of your bag.  You tore them in half, and then again and again and again until you couldn’t tear anymore.  Then you threw them at him, and Sonny realized that the confetti was your reply to him.  Or had been.  He knelt to pick up the pieces of torn paper, and the elevator, finally released, closed its doors and carried you out of the building.

He couldn’t chase after you.  You were too hurt by what you saw – or thought you’d seen – and he was on such thin ice anyway.  All he could do was gather up the tiny pieces of paper from the dirty precinct floor.

And take them back to his desk.  And start to put them back together.

[starfall-spirit]

Day 3: Sunshine

Summary: Elain enjoys a picnic with Lucien, pondering the future they'll share in Day.

AN: This event is my first time posting Elucien. Naturally, I ask you to be polite in your feedback.

Read on Ao3

Word Count: 658

CW: None

He was far too handsome for his own good. Elain was all too aware he knew that as he lounged on the thin blanket spread out beneath them, a glint of golden sun catching in the red of his hair as the mid-summer breeze ruffle the strands that weren't pinned beneath his shoulders. "I can feel you staring, mate."

He smirked slightly as she settled on her elbow beside him, his eyes still closed against the light peaking through the leaves swaying above them. "Sometimes I wonder when I'm going to wake up."

Lucien peeled his eyes open, rolling onto his side to mirror his mate. "What do you mean, love?"

She fiddled with a fallen leaf. "Things have always been... For years and years, it's been one danger or drama or expectation after the next. And now..."

Now she was happy. Her future was bright, unrestrained by conflict or social expectations. She had the leisure to build a real relationship with her sisters even as she no longer depended on them so entirely. She had the freedom to build a life of her own with the male she loved with her whole heart. To spend the rest of her long, long life in his arms, content to lie beneath the sun day after day with only the sounds of bright laughter and music and unadulterated joy around them.

That's not to say the Day Court was flawless. Every person and place had their faults. But it was a far cry from the first few years she spent in Prythian, one court as cold as the next as they tried to piece together a war-cleaved continent. She hadn't bore the brunt of it and she'd never try to claim she had. But it had still been an exhausting few years.

Middle sister.

Mediator.

Gentle and good and kind and perfect.

Breaking away was the most terrifying and exhilarating thing she had ever done, to be frank. And it had brought her here, out of the box she had been pushed into as a girl and into a whole new way of seeing the world.

"Now I'm free of it all and waiting for reality to set in. For some conflict or conundrum to shatter this dreamscape." Her mate hummed, an arm curling around her waist so she was forced to shift with him when he rolled onto his back again. Contentment shuttered down the thread between them as she buried her face in his chest, letting their legs tangle around one another. Full from their picnic with the warmth of the high sun around them it would be all too easy to drift to sleep there, she knew. Another little element of this utopia of theirs. "It all feels too perfect to last."

His fingers tangled in her unbound hair, stroking from her scalp to the curled ends before repeating the motion. "I've never taken kindly to good fortune either," he murmured. "At least, not until you came along. It was far too fleeting to trust. But with the war behind us, the courts near peace, our bond officiated, here with my true family and you at my side... I'm willing to risk it."

"Can you promise me this is forever?"

He smiled, kissing her hair. "No, my love. But I can promise it's the beginning of a brilliance to bloom. And I'll push Lady Luck as long as I'm able if that means we'll have our happily ever after."

"Promise?"

"By the sun above us," he murmured, kissing the corner of her mouth. "By the moon to rise." Another kiss fell under her jaw before he raised his head again, lips just inches from her own. "Every star that falls or burns for us night after night. By the very bond between us, I swear with all I am, Elain, we'll have a lifetime of joy and light."

And as his lips finally found hers, she believed.

~~~~~

General/Elucien taglist:

@elucienweekofficial // @goddess-aelin // @acotar-fanns // @shallyne // @the-lonelybarricade // @the-lost-changeling // @faeriequeensuriel // @pandavelaris // @s-uppertime // @elentiyawhitethorn // @vulpes-fennec // @headcanonheadcase // @aldbooks // @panicatthenightcourt // @corcracrow // @jennity-blog

[joyouslee]

MLC fic ramble - 《只今》 by

应该没人认出来

ok, since lofter has locked down all posts to people with accounts, I can't do full recs for anything on lofter anymore (i.e., I can't re-read so I can't give specific warnings), so instead I'm just going to ramble about the fics I love and if you are able to access lofter read at your own risk since this is just rambling based on my memory. Keep in mind my general warnings.

The author's summary of the fic is: a fic about what's more painful, losing the person you love or losing their love.

FDB goes back in time and becomes the young master of Wanshengdao in order to save LLH.

Here's the link to the first chapter, but now it just redirects to the login unless you have an account. (*weeps*) Go read if you can!

My spoilery ramblings under the read more:

This fic is AGONIZING. Oh the angst in this! The premise is all knives and the execution was sharp. In the original timeline LLH and FDB were lovers then LLH gives up the Wangchuan flower and leaves as in the drama. LLH dies and FDB buried him. FDB dies (later it's revealed how and it's heartbreaking) and wakes up back at Wanshengdao and this time he knows that LLH isn't going to eat the Wangchuan flower. SO he tells SGD he'll help him in exchange for the flower, and he ends up giving SGD the mother bug, and LLH is aware of the betrayal. He ends up imprisoning LLH so that he can cure him, but Qin Po dies in the process.

LLH escapes. (I can't remember the exact details but it was something like FDB marries LLH - I think SGD intends for it to be a humiliation for LLH - and lets him escape during the ceremony preparations.)

By the time LLH leads a rebellion back it's a couple of years later. He finds FDB blind and imprisoned in the Ji Le tower, dying from having the mother bug implanted in him.

The rest of the story deals with LLH's anger at FDB for what he did in order to save him (and from LLH's pov he doesn't understand why FDB would go to such extremes, since he doesn't know FDB has already experienced his death and knows he won't eat the flower), and LLH's gradual uncovering of the things that FDB did in order to try to save as many people as possible from SGD.

It also deals with FDB's guilt - his decision lead to Qin Po's death, and he also ends up killing government officials (I forget the details but it was later revealed to have been set up by SGD) as part of SGD's coup. So after his rescue he's tormented by his guilt and is very submissive to LLH. FDB thinks LLH hates him and thinks he deserves the hate (from LLH and from all the people he knows - people are calling for his head because he's SGD's son). LLH's angry about FDB's abasement and the way he's subsumed by his guilt and atonement, and is very conflicted because he loves him but also hates what he did.

Finally it deals with the inequality of their position and how that affects their relationship (e.g., FDB's reliance on LLH for his life/ protection, his inability to draw any boundaries because he feels he deserves punishment as well as because he thinks his own judgment is bad).

I love this because it's ultimately about atonement and forgiveness, and about how to live again after something so devastating. The amount of guilt FDB carries and how he works to atone for it - he is a good person who made an awful mistake, and he is trying so hard to make up for it. I loved seeing him slowly understand that sometimes there's no way to pay it back to the person hurt so he can only live and pay back the universe.

There's also a bit of political plotting and FDB gets to break XZJ's sword (yay!). This is huafang but DFS has a strong role as friend to both of them (and has comments about the dogfood he suffers through). So it's not just all angst.

A few warnings for the things I remember: there's an attempted rape (not explicit/ not between huafang), and power dynamics issues because of the imprisoning (both of LLH in the beginning and later FDB) and my recollection was that they were having sex through those time periods so no one was at his best. There also is some issues about dressing up as the wife in the weddings (i.e., SGD intended to humiliate LLH by it, and then later FDB reluctantly wears a woman's outfit when he marries LLH). Again, read at your own risk since this is just the stuff I remember.

[fangirl-erdariel]

If you were given the job of 'showrunner of a show about Faramir' what would you do?

Oh that's a fascinating question, thank you! I will freely admit that I don't necessarily consider myself the most knowledgeable person about Faramir or the best at writing him even in my immediate fandom circle, so this is unlikely to be anything particularly groundbreaking or interesting, but I'll give it a shot

I think, since you've not given me specific limitations on when in the timeline this will be set, and that I would go for a show that focuses on Faramir in the months leading up to Boromir leaving for Rivendell, ending with that event. Not that a show about him in the times after the War of the Ring wouldn't be fascinating, but I don't think it's something I'd be very good at writing. And I'm not necessarily interested in following the story through the events of LOTR, either. So, like I said, following Faramir in the times leading up to the event that basically ties him and Boromir so tightly into the events of the story.

Wouldn't be a very long show, obviously, with that sort of time frame, but I'm a firm believer in deciding on the limits of the story you want to tell and narrowing it down to something you can manage, before starting to tell it. (Let's ignore the fact that I don't actually do that irl when I write fanfic, I just sit down and write and see what happens; the imaginary me who is a showrunner of a tv show is obviously more organized than the real life me anyway.) Not everything needs to be ten seasons long. And you could still get a full-length season or two out of even that premise, I think.

I would probably go for a somewhat episodic problem-of-the-week format, but with some overarching themes and plotlines developing across the whole show. I can't off the top of my head give you a list of episodes or their synopsis (how do you pluralize that? synopsis? synopses? synopsises? why is English so difficult), but, you know, most episodes probably focusing on the various troubles of leading the soldiers in Ithilien, one episode focused on the planning of an attack on an enemy troop that will be moving through, another of "how the f*ck has the enemy been managing to constantly mess with our supply lines that we thought were secure and how do we stop them from doing that", maybe one of the classic "there's a spy among our midst but who is it??" plot, one where Faramir has to handle a bunch of young inexperienced soldiers who are either uncertain or too reckless and eager to pursue glory and probably going to get either themselves or other people killed if he can't get them to get their act together. And so on and so forth, I'm sure you get the gist. Probably mix it up sometimes and have some episodes set in Minas Tirith, maybe a couple bringing Faramir on some errand to more southern parts of Gondor, too. Ithilien episodes would probably have elements of military drama, Minas Tirith episodes elements of political drama.

I think the second-to-last episode of the show would have the first time Faramir has the dream that'll send Boromir to Gondor, and would have the attack on Osgiliath and that whole thing. And the absolute last episode would be just focused on the dream and what to do about it, and would see Boromir leaving on his journey.

I think one thing I'd explore a lot would be the differing ways that other characters see him. Both in terms of the relationships with his family, the way that he is a beloved little brother to Boromir but always the less capable and worthy in Denethor's eyes, but also in terms of outside that family circle. Like, we see in the books that he is adored by the people, and that he is greatly respected by the soldiers under his command, he is a captain they are glad to follow, a skilled leader who is able to keep troops from panicking and retain good order even in difficult, chaotic situations.

And then, going off of that, how does all that compare to the way Faramir sees himself? How does the place he is appointed by those around him fit, or not fit, what he himself would want to be, if he could choose? Even people who love or admire you can still view you in ways that aren't entirely true, or treat you in a way or put you in situations that you find constraining or poorly fit for you, and I think playing with that with Faramir could be interesting. I think I might go for making one of the conflicts carried through the show be that while Boromir loves Faramir, he doesn't always quite treat him as a responsible adult and an equal, but a little brother to be protected and watched over and helped, and for all that Faramir also loves Boromir, it's still frustrating. And though Boromir does insist on being the one to make the journey to Rivendell because he's older and stronger and doesn't like the idea of Faramir going off alone on a long journey to the unknown, it is still in some ways also an admission on his part that he trusts Faramir to be responsible and clever and capable enough to be in charge of the lives of soldiers and of various duties Boromir has that will fall on Faramir in his absence, without Boromir's constant oversight and being always somewhere near enough to come to his aid.

Besides that, I think I would like to incorporate hope and despair as one central theme, seeing as it's also so very central to LOTR. Also, this isn't anything about deep themes or being clever or whatever, it's really just self-indulgence, but I think I'd like to incorporate songs and poetry the characters actually sing and recite into the story. Just, like, whatever, military marches, funeral laments, narrative stuff sung to pass the time, people competing on who can most accurately memorize some tricky poem just for the hell of it, all that. Like, Middle-Earth just has music so intrinsically bound into the stories and it's an aspect of the books I really love, but so few adaptations incorporate it much at all! (I am tooootally not jealous to my mom because she got to see the 1988/-89 LOTR play that actually included a bunch of the poems from the books set to music, totally not, why are you asking)

Also, can we cast Luke Pasqualino as Faramir? No particular reason except that I think he's pretty

Geez, that got long ':D Idk how much sense any of that makes, but, hey, thanks for giving me an excuse to ramble!!

Out of curiosity, if you were given the same job of being a showrunner for a show about Faramir, what would you do with it?

[concerningwolves]

today's disconnected but related Thoughts are about how stories should exist within "containers", and how problems in long-running TV series are typically introduced when the writers don't use those containers properly. I'm struggling to articulate it in a coherent order, but:

● an audience needs to be able to see some kind of boundary enclosing the story, otherwise it doesn't feel satisfying. This is why we have set plot structures like Freytag's Pyramid and Fichtean Curve which so many stories follow. Most storytelling formats lend themselves to this – novels, certain comic books and graphic novels, plays, and films all have a beginning and an end. You open the book or enter a theatre or switch on the telly, and you experience the story, and then it ends. The story might live with you afterwards, if it affected or resonated with you or made you want to analyse it, but if the creator did their job well you'll at least feel closure with it on a mechanical level (i.e., plot and character arcs have conclusions that you can see fit within the framework of the story, even if personally you didn't like or agree with something). The Good Place is an example of a TV series that did this very well, because the writers had a set vision for the series and they executed it.

● A lot of TV dramas and serials operate on the premise of being ongoing – a story that stretches on without any defined end in sight. This can be done well, but sometimes the story gets bloated and stale, or it ends up like separate swatches of cloth instead of an interwoven tapestry. I'm not saying this means every TV series automatically fails to tell a story in a satisfying way, or even that the series that don't are inherently bad. It works differently from books or films, and therein lie its strengths as a storytelling medium! For one thing, TV is excellent for character-focused stories, and these can go on and on for ages and still be enjoyable and entertaining (even if not "good" by critical artistic standards). There's also more flexibility in TV than in a film; the ongoing format lets writers string out rising and falling tension, and focus in and out on different plots/subplots across a far larger scope.

● The way these shows work is the overarching medium of the series contains smaller stories in the form of plots. The boundaries between one plot and the next usually need to be permeable, too – a plot arc should conclude satisfactorily, yes, but the things that happen in it ought to resonate with the larger narrative afterwards, otherwise it'll feel pointless to the audience. Ghost Whisperer is an example where the creators failed to do this, repeatedly: each of the five seasons introduces a new concept which seems to be building towards some kind of climax, and then... doesn't. Characters vanish from the story never to be mentioned again. Huge events that ought to have life-altering consequences for the characters only have consequences for a few episodes, and then it's swept under the rug. The series had its appeal in a fun concept and lovable characters, but was let down by the execution. By contrast, medical drama Grey's Anatomy has been going successfully since 2005. It has some continuity issues (like interns vanishing without explanation) and some plots are better than others, but on the whole it takes its status as a long-running story seriously and does it quite well.

● The streaming model and the way TV writers are treated is a factor, too. Even where the boundaries of a story have been pre-defined and could be executed well, the creators often don't have the chance. (and I'm sure the same is true of long-running manga/comic books/graphic novels, although I'm focusing mostly on TV here). Ratings, network politics and actors' personal lives/ambitions have a huge impact on what happens to a TV series, and the popularity or apparent success of a series doesn't always guarantee its continuation. Just look at Netflix's habit of axing series after 2 seasons! Or at Good Omens, which despite being written by Neil Gaiman, having a huge fanbase, and a pre-set story which would be concluded in three seasons, hasn't yet been officially greenlit for season 3 (afaik). The industry has created an environment where stories are commodified, and that's not an environment in which stories can flourish.

[labyrinthofsphinx]

Statistical Outliers

Working on my next little comic, so I figured I'd post a short drabble in the meantime.

Time is everything. It was everything when he was alive, and it’s been everything since he died. The only thing that’s changed is now he was the one that determined time. The citizenship of hell held only two real concepts of time, which is probably why there’s plenty of old badgers still holed up in their ways. First was, of course, the need to keep track on the way to doomsday. The yearly extermination was held on the same day, every year, so it became a timepiece as a consequence rather than by any actual effort. On the other hand, the second was very much an invention of his own.

TV had a way of warping time. When he was alive and doing something similar, people would work their days around the TV because it was only on for a certain amount of time, and there were only a few things worth watching. But, for that hour basis, it was the most drawing thing in the world. Things have changed obviously, now TV shows play all day. People still checked their clocks for the start of their favorite program. The internet and cellphones constantly show the time, even if as more of a background piece to the dramas that play out behind the screen. People are absorbed by media now. They couldn’t escape it entirely. Their time was his plaything and the more time they spent obsessing over his empire, the more control he had.

Of course, with Heaven’s little hunting safari out of the way, his became the only time relevant to the cesspool down here. And most of his own time was spent cultivating that: talks shows, game shows, news, commercials, streaming platforms, you name it.

Time may be something he stole from others, but perhaps only because he had so precious little of it himself.

So, time was important to him. And when someone or something wastes his time, well…

 He glanced across his screen, the blue light from the aquarium getting lost in the blue light of the devices. They glared off his face, itself a screen, and reflected off too bright to see much of anything. And Val wonders why this room is always so dark. He turned down the brightness again.

The leftmost screens were devoted to Val, his studio, and his workers. Not that he liked staring at those while shooting, mind you. There was only so much of that that anyone could watch and still be productive. Still, he noted, he really needed to get an electrician over there. You’d think spending all this time literally surrounded by devices, Val would’ve learned something about electrical outlet safety. But, he supposed Val wouldn’t bother. Just like he never had to worry about how he was going to get his films distributed, or edited, or formatted. He had Vox for that, after all.

Because Valentino’s problems were ultimately Vox’s problems.

Right next to Val’s studio on his surveillance was Velvette’s designer pad. He enjoyed watching her in the background of his day, barking orders and snapping people in line. You’d think she’d been the top of fashion when she was alive too, the way she acted. He had to remind himself that she wasn’t actually as old as him or Val sometimes. Other times though, well, her age showed. She played the game of likes and shares. She didn’t play the game of politics. Why in hell did he ask her to attend the overlord meeting again? She hadn’t even had the courtesy of explaining just what went wrong, only that the meeting was full of outdated morons, half of which should be wearing adult diapers. So, yeah, that hadn’t panned out well. And, no, he didn’t try to correct her either. She wouldn’t listen on a good day. And why should she? She was the one whose opinions mattered. Everyone else can shove it. Or, rather, Vox was in charge of making sure other people shoved it, or themselves, off a cliff.

Because Velvette’s problems were Vox’s problems too.

His own office and set were up there as well. It was a little redundant, sure, but he’s always insisted on the extra security. Or maybe it was his own obsession with having to have eyes on everything at all times. Hard to tell, really.

It all seemed so sterile compared to the messes that were Val and Vel’s setups. Even in the midst of a show, it was mostly just him, either plugged in and projecting or sitting behind a chair talking. Any other people in his space were either there for a short segment, or part of the backstage cronies he employs to keep things running smoothly. Sometimes he’d have one of the others up there as well, usually for promotional work: ‘Voxtec presents Valentino’s newest project’ or ‘Velvette’s new perfume line’. Something of that ilk. He wasn’t just the face of the Vees, he was the one advertising them, keeping time set to them.

But if it was a Voxtec product that didn’t involve them? Nope, wasn’t their problem.

Because Vox’s problems were Vox’s problems only.

So, he wasn’t at all surprised that his newest problem, the most recent waste of time, was shown to him sitting on his couch watching re-runs.

Part 1/ Part 2/ Part 3/ Part 4/ Part 5/ Part 6/ Part 7/ Part 8/ Part 9/ Part 10