#seriously why has that happened 2 years in a row now

[gay-for-zoya]

Every year I open my curtains thinking that it miraculously snowed over night and then I'm reminded I live in the south of england

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for reporting my coworker friend to hr for harassing our other coworker friend?

(🥩🦎 to find later)

I (23nb) work at a food service place and always close with the same two people one day of the week, we'll call these people N (20m) and Red (19nb). We all met at work and being closest in age with each other compared to most of the other people there plus having similar-ish interests, we started hanging out with each other outside of work

Red is the kind of person who overshares with people right after meeting them, and N is the kind of person who rarely takes anything seriously and thinks its funny to pretend to be a jerk and bigot (hes the only cis white neurotypical guy at work while red and i are both trans and autistic and I'm black), so Red has shared a lot of their trauma and past with the both of us and N typically uses it to jokingly bully them

Now most of the time Red and I are okay with N's jokes, and we make it clear where our boundaries are and N usually respects this with the exception of a few times we've had to make it very clear where our boundaries are after he's crossed them. But lately N keeps poking at one particular thing of Red's that is especially triggering for them, and this has happened two weeks in a row now. I don't know what this thing is specifically because both times I've been just out of earshot when the topic has been brought up, Ive just been told by Red that it has to do with the worst thing that's ever happened to them.

Both times this has happened Red has, understandably, gotten really upset and angry at N, and N only apologized for it the first time it happened. This week when it happened apparently he only started to make a joke about it but then stopped before he finished it because he thought better of it, but it was still enough for Red to figure out what N was gonna say and be upset about it.

I've tried to explain to N why even if he didn't completely say the joke he was going to make it still hurt Red, but he just sort of threw a tantrum about not understanding why he was getting in trouble for something he didn't say and concluded that it would be better to say it outright if he's going to get in trouble just for thinking it anyways.

I've also tried to convince Red to either just stop joking around with N while at work or report him to our manager or hr themself, but they're standing firm on that it shouldn't even be an issue to begin with and that it wouldn't be if N could learn to think before he speaks.

I'm also convinced that Red would feel bad if they reported N because he's been reported by other coworkers in the past year and everyone we work with including our manager often pokes fun at him to varying degrees of intensity and they might feel bad if he lost his job because they reported him. (Red has a second job somewhere else while this is N's full time job)

My concern is that N is actively making Red feel unsafe and uncomfortable, and I also feel uncomfortable both in knowing that N would carelessly cross our boundaries for the bit and also because of the tense and awkward atmosphere in the workplace that has followed immediately after both times he's done it. I don't want to have to deal with that and I'm pretty sure Red doesn't want to either.

I told N right when I learned that he'd joked about Red's trauma again that he was on strike 2, and i plan on telling N and Red both that i plan to take action if it happens next time i work with both of them.

WIBTA for following through and reporting N? Am I overstepping into a situation I'm barely involved in?

What are these acronyms?

[aoharushiyo]

the recipes for... | track 1 — chocolate pudding

Translation: en Proofreading: aca, dimi, kimi, myun, jay, jelly

Content Warning: light jokes about death

PatiBattle is my life. A masterpiece containing the quintessential element, the character that gives meaning to my very existence— yeah, you heard that right: his name is Chiyoda Reito.

PatiBattle is my life. A masterpiece containing the quintessential element, the character that gives meaning to my very existence— yeah, you heard that right: his name is Chiyoda Reito.

---

"Come the hell on, if I don't get there soon, it might all be gone…!"

I was held back after school for ages by the teachers today. Some lecture about my behaviour in class or something. Stuff like my attitude being all over the place, or reading manga under my desk in class… But why today, of all days? Of course, I just had to run my mouth and say that I'd listen any other day, please let me off just for today… but that just ended up adding oil to the fire and I got held back even longer.

[ Next Restock TBA ] "…"

I flew into the anime shop I frequented and stopped in front of the display case for newly stocked merch. I hadn't been able to pre-order, so all the merch I wanted had all already been snagged.

"Seriously… I wish this would stop happening…"

And it's just my luck that I don't have any friends I can ask to buy merch for me.

"'Restock TBA'…? The very concept of this should fuck right off."

Student life may as well be slavery. Sure, pointing and laughing at the working class and calling them corporate slaves has been a thing since ages ago, but isn't being a student pretty much the same thing? At these places called 'schools', you're physically limited to what you can do, you're forced into doing club activities after school, and even once you get home, you've gotta do homework or chores… All that takes up a shit ton of time. Adults always overestimate the amount of free time we kids have.

"Fuck…!"

Despite all of that, somehow I'm making do with the little free time I have. Attending events, making shrines, exchanging official and blind box merch, buying out merch stocks[1], nui outings, birthday pilgrimages…

"Aah… my life has no meaning anymore… Just end me already…"

I just couldn't take it any longer. I stumbled out of the store, and, after sparing only a glance to make sure no one was around, started hitting my head against the wall, over and over. Over, and over, and over. I failed. I'm a failure. I'm sorry, Reito, I'm so sorry that I couldn't bring you home.

The theme for the acrylic standee set this time around was 'Training Camp - First Year, Winter ~Wedding Cake~'. A set that dressed every single character in exquisite bridal attire. Not being able to get something like that on the day of its release is absolutely unforgivable. I might as well just die.

The way back was freezing cold. The weather sucked ass, too.

---

Today, I decided to go home instead of returning to the dorms. Here, I can do whatever I want without anyone getting in my way.

"…Yeah, I guess it'll do."

My feelings of frustration needed some kind of outlet. All of the love I was so ready to shower on my new standee had to go somewhere, too — so I eagerly channelled it into something else.

"Aren't you looking pretty good now?"

I held up my apron, extremely pleased with the crooked rows of can badges and pins that covered its entirety. Naturally, the apron was in Reito's image colour. And right over the chest, where my new merch should have been, shone in its place a new, extra-large aluminium standee.[2] That's right. In this patisserie kitchen, we don't have ita-bags — we have ita-aprons, obviously.

"I've gotta finish this before Reito's birthday…"

I guess you could say it's like a way of measuring love. If this weight is the weight of my love, then even if it's heavy because of how many things I've slowly added to it, I can't get enough. I just can't get enough of the insanity of wearing it. Merch of Reito is in ridiculously high demand, so it's really not great for my wallet, but… I'm fine with that. Because only then does it feel like I'm giving up even my soul for Reito.

"Now then…"

Finally satisfied with my sparkling, gleaming rows of badges, I moved onto the next part of my daily routine — checking socials. After all, numerous new fanworks are being created every day.

"Searching for… 'PatiBattle!'…" With great enthusiasm, I searched for every single keyword that I could think of. 'Patissier Battle', 'Chiyoda Reito', 'ReiOu', 'Rei0u', 'ChocoPudding'…[3]

"Damn, this person's art is so good… wait— wait, they drew this!? This is insane! Fuck, oh fuck… I can't take it, it's so radiant that I can't even look at it properly…!"

This must be what it means to be happy. Being able to see the masterpieces being born every day is happiness. While happily wading through my feed, I spent hours lost in the online world.

"…Ah."

There it was: Reito/Shouta. And… blocked. It's like I never saw it in the first place. It really was a shame that they didn't understand the better dynamic. But staying in your own lane makes the world go 'round, so never having to see it again was good enough.

And finally, after checking everything else, I'd left the best for last:

"Sanseiu-sensei…!"

Sanseiu-sensei, the god of ReiOu. Even if they hadn't uploaded anything new, I could spend hours rereading all of their older works.

"What's wrong? Could it be… is that embarrassment I see?" "H-hey! I still can't believe it… What would someone like you see in me…?" "If you keep saying things like that, I'll just go ahead and eat you up." "Mmph…!?" "…Delicious." "R-Reito-kun!" "Aren't you so sweet? Maybe… even sweeter than chocolate."

"Aaah, it's still this good every time I read this!? Even though I've read it before? This flavour never gets old no matter how many times I reread it! Seriously! What the fuck! I'm gonna go insane!"

After rolling around on my bed, I grabbed my pillow and screamed into it while writhing in glee. How was I supposed to remain sane after reading that!?

"It's so cute! It's so cute that I'm gonna die! Killing me directly would be less painful, Sanseiu-sensei!"

Throwing my emotions into this much disarray… that was the power of the great Sanseiu-sensei. I'd heard that they tabled at a large convention a few months ago, but…

"I wanna meet them and thank them…!"

I wanted to go so badly, but…

"…I can't deal with crowds…"

---

[1] 無限回収 mugen kaishuu refers to the act of buying the same merch over and over without caring about the cost. If you've ever seen one of those huge birthday shrines with a million of the same pins? That's the energy.

[2] アルミ arumi basically is a shortened form of ‘aluminium’. This could refer to a can badge, but it could also be an aluminium standee, which is a cutout of an artwork from an aluminium can. Since Ushio is saying that instead of the acrylic standee, he got an arumi, and also that he mentioned can badges earlier, I've gone with this option.

[3] 礼王 is Ushio's OTP, Reito/Ouji. He'll explain this later! After this, he searches for 礼玉. Note that 玉 looks like 王; it's pretty common to use something to censor part of the name so that it doesn't appear in searches. I've replaced the O with a 0 to replicate the same effect since it wouldn't make much sense to literally transcribe it. 'ChocoPudding' is another version of their ship name (which he will also explain later).

---

masterlist | next →

[billybob598]

Ok so a couple thoughts on the USA and just other big teams that got knocked out.

Definitely not what we expected from the US but why did we expect that? Think about it, this a young team where most of the starters and subs were all at there first World Cup. I think this needed to happen to the US. they needed to not be the best anymore and for the next couple years just completely start over. The old generation is starting to leave so it's time to get a clean slate with these new young players. Basically, restart the program. Morgan, Rapinoe, Ertz, and O'hara are among those who are probably done. There were some amazing younger players that shined this tournament (Naomi Girma, Emily Fox, even Sophia Smith though not as well as expected). Its good for the US to just restart with a new team and a new coach *cough cough fire Vlatko. This team needs to spend more time on the field together. Remember Japan won in 2011 and the US came back with 2 world cup wins in a row, so I'm guessing in 4 years when these players are a little more experienced and have played with each other more they will be a really good team.

Now, my point that they need a fresh start with young players and a new manager is exactly what some teams have already done or need to do as well. Take England. They brought in Sarina a new manager and she just completely did the team over. Leah williamson as the new captain, Beth Mead on the squad, younger players like Russo, Toone and LJ getting minutes and shining. And then they won the Euros. See I think the US certainly have the talent they just need to build off of it.

Ok so Canada. I think same thing. Sinclair and Schmidt and Chapman are all probably on the way out. Now we got younger players, Huitema, Olivia Smith, Riviere, Grosso. I like Bev priestmann a lot, but I think if we want to see a new Canada team that utilizes the young and up and coming players we might need a new coach. Definitely a disappointment of a world cup from canada.

Germany and Brazil are pretty much the same. Brazil is losing one of the best players of all time, someone who has been the centre of that team for like 2 decades. They have such amazing players, Geyse being the young player that comes to my mind. Piano Sundhage I'm thinking is gone. and now it's just about again, getting the younger players time to shine alongside each other. And Germany. Oh Germany. Again, they have such amazing young players, Obi (who is arguably the best young player in the world rn), Brand, and Sydney Lohmann. I don't want to say Popp will retire because let's be honest that woman could play forever. But, the old generation is on it's way out and the new generation has to be shown the same kind of love. When you have such amazing young talent you have to take the future seriously and not just try to hold onto the past. I think that goes for all the team aforementioned.

Anyways that's it from me. Hope you enjoyed my Ted talk

[the-larxist-manifesto]

GameGirl28 ~ Conquering the NSO GameBoy library

Okay... so... Hello! This is my cool and awesome gaming blog where I'm gonna write my thoughts on my current gaming excursions, because I type really fast and I have a lot to say and I love video games!!

Here marks the inaugural post in a series I like to call:

~GameGirl28~

~The premise~

I grew up playing and loving Nintendo games. However, there lies a blind spot in my history with them right about where the GameBoy existed. I was too young when it was still getting games to appreciate or be any good at beating them, but only grew into gaming as a hobby when the GameBoy was considered extremely uncool. By the time I was going to the shop to pick out my own games for getting good grades in school, it was all about GBA and DS games for me. The GameBoy, as I famously say, lies slouched in the corner as the poopy predecessor to a golden era of portable gaming. I've never taken the thing seriously, and I think it's about time that I change that.

~Why now?~

When the Nintendo Switch Online service added GameBoy (GB) to the growing list of retro games, I thought for the first time that the subscription was worthwhile. It's one of the most accessible ways Nintendo has ever allowed fans to play a sampling of games fundamental to their success as a company today. Seriously, there's never been a good way to play GB before. No one's paying $5 a pop for an old game on 3DS that doesn't even have color. But now, anyone can play 21 of the GB's games whenever they want, on-the-go as originally intended, for a measly $20 a year. Since I was already paying for the service to smash noobs in Mario Kart and play SNES Yoshi's Island, I figured now was the time for the little gray box to shine.

~GameGirl28?~

You're probably wondering why the name of this project sounds like a username you might see in the YouTube comments 10 years ago under an AMV of Pikachu dancing to Butterfly.

Well, the name has a pretty simple meaning. I'm playing the GameBoy. But I'm a girl, so I gotta yassify the name. And, as of right now, I will be playing 28 total GB games. That number comes from the 21 offered by NSO, in addition to 7 other GB games I happen to own after years of collecting video games. Yeah. Seven. You can probably tell how much I cared about this console until now. I own almost 500 video games total btw the GB doesn't even make up 2% of that

Here's a little visual guide to which games I'll be playing, in order!

As for this particular order, I grouped them up loosely according to theme as well as pacing out the kinds of games I'd be playing. Since the challenge is to beat an entire library of games, there will be games that I hate, or even objectively horrible games, sprinkled in there. So, generally speaking, each row contains a little mix of every type of game. For example, "Precursor to greatness..." includes an adventure game somewhat familiar to me (Zelda), a fun, breezy, and familiar romp (Kirby), an adventure game completely new to me (Castlevania), and another easy one that I have a history with (Wario Land). The goal is to keep the challenge fresh by flowing between the new and the familiar, spacing out the stinkers with the classics, and escalating the excitement as I progress further!

~Conclusion~

This blog, my larxist manifesto, will be for more than just posting about GB games. Posts about this challenge in particular will be titled as such, and I'll probably make more cute accompanying graphics to illustrate how far along I am as well. Actually, as of right now, I'm almost all the way through "Welcome to GameBoy!" I'll make some recap posts very soon about that. So yeah, if you are also curious about a console essential to video game history that has been kinda swept under the rug (or you just wanna see me go off on fiery rants and post funny screenshots), look out for future updates!

And if you wanna see what other manner of silly things I can yap about forever, stay tuned! My next post will be sort of an overview about why I'm even blogging in the first place. ^^

[edogawa-division]

ARB Birthday Special 2023: Kaoru Shinozaki

~~ September 15th ~~

“There is no great genius without a mixture of madness.”

Login Lines:

“Zzzzzzz…. Gah! I'm up! I'm awake! Oh shit, you scared me! Don't do that! I can feel my heart pounding! Huh? Is this a present?” 

“Why are you even giving this to me? It’s not like my birthday is anytime soon. Wait, what do you mean today is my birthday? Athena dammit! I forgot again!” 

Voice Lines:

“I can't believe I forgot about my birthday for the second year in a row. I mean, I did spend the last few days working on an invention. Oh well, I might as well see what chaos I can get up to today.” 

“Alright! “Operation: Birthday Bash” is a go! Mwahahaha! Major intelligence agencies all across the world are currently waking up to a malware virus that I just sent to their servers!*giggles* It's nothing too bad. All it's going to do is forcibly take control of their speaker systems and play “Never Gonna Give You Up” on repeat all day. Take that you fuckers!”

“Hi Mama, Papa, Nii-san. It's me. I’m doing alright, just turned 23, but I'm sure you all knew that.*sighs* Lately, I've been thinking about what my life would be like if the accident never happened. I think…I would've been miserable, and isn't that a horrible thought? I never said this, but for all that you loved me, none of you ever bothered to understand me. How could you? I was too different. What? You don't think I heard you talking at night? That you thought I walked the line between genius and insanity. That you thought I would grow up to be a villain? That some days you were even afraid of me? Ha! A part of me resents you for that even now.” 

“You know A.D.A is usually the first one to wish me happy birthday, but I haven't heard from her all day, which is pretty strange. I think she’s planning something because she asked me a while back if I had any plans for my birthday all while looking like the cat who ate the canary. Ehhhh…I should probably prepare for the worst. A.D.A can get pretty vindictive when the mood hits her.” 

“Yurikoooo! What did you get me? Noooo! Betrayed by my own mother! Next thing you know I’ll be left out on the cold streets to fend for myself. Oh, the horror! *wheezes* Okay, okay, I’m done! Oh, come on, Yuriko! It's my birthday. Let me live a little! Anyway, did you not really get me anything? Hahaha! I knew you’d never let me down! So, whatcha get me?” 

“A string of numbers? Wait, are these what I think they are? Fuck…Yuriko that place is literally one of the best guarded networks in the world. I could spend years attempting to hack it as Delphi, and even then, I would only be able to make a dent in their firewall. Literally, the only ones allowed to have access to that place are the top and, I mean, top dogs of the underworld. So why? Why give this to me? Why give me access to… somewhere where I make the worst of my genius blossom to life with no consequences? A storm, huh? You can count on me, Yuriko. I promise.” 

“No wait Kanra! *crunch* K-K-Kanra it seems like your birthday hugs get stronger every year huh? My ribs certainly can tell. Oh, what are we waiting for then? You know I love your cakes Kanra! Hahaha! Okay, then what did you get me?” 

“Pfffffftt! Kanra that thing is nearly as tall as you are! Hahaha! No, but seriously Kanra thank you. I've always wanted one of these. How did you even get one anyway? This thing is kinda of expensive. *wheeze* Kanra please! You can't treat a fight like it's a Pokémon battle. Hahaha! Never change Kanra.” 

“A.D.A! There you are! You're even in your android body, too! So I can only assume you have something special planned for me today. A.D.A…your grin is kind of scaring me. The last time you grinned like that, you didn't let me have coffee for 2 weeks. Oh gods, you are banning me from coffee again! A.D.A, please! I need coffee to survive! A.D.A…you’re still not filling me with confidence, but alright, what did you get me?”

“Uhhh…A.D.A? This is just a piece of paper with a time and a set of directions on it. Of course a…A.D.A WHAT DO YOU MEAN DATE??? Y-y-you…dinner…him…error…error…asdkhgkjiwenfkdklyyxgsitzfzjfzkfoxyoaryhdftwehadghffnjkelfhewnejwnjb…*faints*”

Yuriko Lines:

“Happy Birthday, Kaoru. *raises eyebrow* Does it look like I'm carrying a gift for you? *sighs* Are you done with your little charade Kaoru? Birthday or not, please do not wail like you’re the ghost of a Victorian child. Really?  Do you truly believe I would get you anything? What kind of mother would I be if I didn't get my own daughter anything? Now I'm sure you’ll find this quite interesting.” 

“Not just any set of numbers, Kaoru. I had to pull quite a few strings for these numbers. As you know, there's the black market which even a regular citizen can get access to if they look hard enough and then there's █ █ █ █ █ █ █. A global network of various dealers and brokers, hidden behind a series of codes and unknown numbers. Where only the truly dangerous lie, both people and items. It’s so well hidden that not even the various governments are aware of its existence, or if they do, all they know is rumors. Kaoru, I won't lie. A storm is brewing and heading our way. I’m not sure when or how, but I’ll be damned if I don't do everything in my power to make sure the three of us survive. If that means giving you access to someplace where you can be the worst version of yourself, then so be it. I know Kaoru, I know.”

Kanra Lines:

“Happy Birthday Kaoru! *hugs* Eh? Sorry! Guess I got a little too excited. Ah! Nevermind that! Come on Kaoru! I have your birthday cake in the kitchen! First I have to give you your present! I hope you like it!”

“Ta-da! Your very own giant Mareep doll! It is not! I can see over it! Hm? Oh right. So every time I beat someone unconscious I rummage through their wallets and steal all the cash they have on them. Why not? Winner’s rights! If people wanna pick a fight with me they better be prepared to fork over some cash when they lose!”

Bonus! A.D.A Lines:

“Kaoru my dear! Happy Birthday! Oh, I have just a little something special for you today. *grins widely*  Hm? Hahaha! Don’t be so scared, Kaoru, it's nothing like that. I will admit that it was a bit hard to work on the plan without you noticing, but I succeeded. Now, here I have something for you!”

“Why is it the time and location for your dinner reservation for your date with that pretty goth boy! Of course! He seemed surprised when I asked him. He was under the impression that you would be spending your birthday with Yuriko and Kanra, but I waved off his concern and told him you would love it if he took you out for dinner! Oh dear, her mind is erroring. Are you alright, Kaoru? Kaoru? AHH! SHE FAINTED!”

[juliedrawz]

🌼 Big Info/Update on my "Coco" Book 🌼

So it's almost been a year ...

Wow! What a journey so far! I wanted to take my time to talk to you "every dear one of you who loves my art and follows me" for a bit. Now, this will be a long post so keep that in mind!

I cannot remember a year in which I went through so many changes. I grew a lot mentally and I learned a lot. When I first watched Coco, I didn't know at all what kind of impact it will have on me. I know it did for a whole lot many more than just me. It's not just a movie, it's something that moved my heart in depths I cannot explain. Look, the only movie franchise who ever was able to impact me that deeply was Lord of the Rings/Hobbit, but then Coco came along and well ... Héctor! ... and Ernesto.

But talking about Héctor in every little detail possible is planned for another post. There is so much! And Ernesto even more. Ernesto is actually (has actually) been my biggest surprise this year 🤯 And let me tell you why for a little because this is a important part of this whole post!

Villains. We all know what a villain is. When I first saw Ernesto, I was instantly drawn to his charmful personality. I love mexico! I love mexicans, (they happen to be one of the funniest, kindest and most temperamental ones I ever came across and they understand how to celebrate life and death!) At first, we only see what Ernesto can do without knowing anything just yet. I was blown! Let me get this down, he's a musícan with a inrcedible voice (I have an opera education background so I connect to his trained voice), he's a actor, a showman, he's a phenomenal horseback rider and he's handsome! I don't need to tell you about the punch in the guts you end up having later!

Oh, yes! Something I would say! Seriously! I do act like that whenever I am burning for something! *cough* snowflakes quite recently! It was late and my boss only had 1 client left and it started snowing big flakes and I went full child excited mood "think Ernesto and fireworks" until they hit me with their "Augh, snow! Cold, wet, annoying!" And then I literally turned into this cinematic drama queen telling them about nostalgia and the spirit of christmas! *laugh* Their faces 😆 Bah humbug! Truly!

Can you imagine Ernesto in the role of Ebenezer Scrooge? I can! 😆 Héctor, Ceci and Imelda as the 3 spirits of christmas. Yes sir! I want that for christmas! *cough* aaand I'm rambling! I was talking about my book ... yes ... back to that!

Anyway! Moving on! I've told you before that as an INFP personality it's in my nature anyway to think and feel myself deeper into things (whatever they are) and I need about 2 or 3 rows to analyze and solidifying my opinion. That's what happened with Ernesto. Yes, at first I was "heck this guy!" Mildly said, I did not like Ernesto. One. Bit. I was mad and I, for the first few moments, labled him as a villain too! But then I rewatched and rewatched and rewatched Coco and I analyzed Ernesto. And after I went "wait a dang minute!" I realized, no, this man is certainly not your typical "Bad guy!" And after my Dad "an ex-soldier and chef prison guard" confirmed my analysis, I started researching and studying on human behavior, trauma (PTSD) and especially psyche! Now, I wanted to do this anyway because of Héctor and Imelda but it played into my hands with Ernesto. But it also flipped my whole opinion of him. It is a canon fact, that Héctor and Ernesto grew up together and were like brothers to each other and I had the statement, that Ernesto isn't proud of what he's done. Oh boy did that flip tables for me! Because guess what! A true villian is evil, period. You don't go thinking about any redemption because they are that far gone! And a truly rotten, evil soul does not regret their actions or deeds, they are perfectly fine and content with them. I would love to share my whole Sherlock Holmes 🔎 action I did on Ernesto with you but I can't because that would def. spoil everything that is to come!

Ok, this whole Ernesto case has changed and impacted my book! And not only that. The longer I wrote, I got back my grammar and writing skills (after not truly writing for years!) I improved and only after months and then going back to the first half of my book, I realized that many things weren't the way I wanted them anymore. The plot was now solid (wasn't at first) some age/timeline aspects changed! I tweaked some things! Grammar too. And that means I will need to go over my whole first bunch of chapters eventually!

Now I really know where my book is heading! From beginning to end! I now have the silver lining! That also means, the Title of my book has changed! But I will change it in time, not just yet!

The thing with Ceci 👓

Honestly, when I first included Ceci in my book, I, just like with many things, as I mentioned, had no idea what to do with her! I knew I wanted her in, because of that one scene! She instantly had me with her sassy attitude. And since it was pretty clear that she and Héctor knew each other and that she's been helping him not only once, I knew that there had to be a connection. And so I went with it. But that was still raw and not well thought through. That came fairly quickly though! And by now, Ceci is, next to Imelda one of the main characters! She plays a big role and she will be very important for the future!

My Book - Not just any other Fanfic

I know that everyone has their own opinion, view of things and headcanons. This is mine! But while it is my headcanon, I had the goal from the moment I sat down and decided "I'm going to do this!" To make my book feel as canon as possible. I knew I didn't just want to create yet another "great" fanfiction, I wanted to create something that is way more than just that. Something that could give huge Coco fans like me something back. Something that has an impact, something that shares what I have in my heart at least a little! I wanted to do something that hasn't been done before! And for once, I dedicated myself to it, no matter how long it will take, I will finish it! Oof, didn't that sound like something Héctor would say?

This thing has become my baby! 😂

I wanted to stay "true" to each character, stay in line and make readers go "yep, that's how it all happened" I wanted the characters to stay real and authentic. I didn't want to change them or make them do things that would fall out of their character. I knew I wanted my book to circle around Héctor mainly but the longer I worked on it, the more I understood that Ernesto, Ceci and Imelda are just as much of a part of Héctor! And developing their story, they became a huge part.

I wanted and still want to bring emotions across as if you'd feel them! I also knew and now I know even more, that my book is "in no way" for children! It is in everyway for us adults, for teens at least! Because I go deeper and touch on topics that are scary, painful, harsh and dark. You'll see that even more in chapters to come!

Conclusion ❗️

Since it's a real book I am working on, I realized that it is pretty normal that some chapters take weeks, sometimes even months to write. I understood that it's ok to take my time! And if it ends up taking me 2 or 3 years to finish it. I stopped feeling guilty when I cannot post new content fast enough because it just takes a lot of time and effort. And besides my passions, life happens and continues. Work happens to be exhausting sometimes, not all weekends end up being a free-time for me. And there are family gatherings, normal things to do, as plain as grocery shopping. And recently, christmas. But I appreciate every time I get to work on my book and my art!

-

So, yes, I had to get to this conclution on my own. While it is clear for others. And that has everything to do with my personality. I love pleasing people and making people happy. And by all means, I love love love what I do! If I could I would double my arms and work on more tings faster! Sometimes I wish I could stay home and work on my hobbies only but that isn't going to happen for me.

So at that point. I want to say "Thank you!" AGAIN! For all you guys who have been sticking around so far! For all the kind words! I hope you'll stick around for the next year/years to come and keep Coco alive!

🌼 Coco is timeless 🌼

It is so much more than just bringing across a deep important message! It has earned itself a very special place in my heart! It has caused me to pick up writing again, and it made me pick up my guitar and finally learn it! I will finish telling Héctor's story! And Ernesto's along with it! And I am no longer scared if some might end up hating it or calling me crazy for it! Because, like Héctor said, then I am, un poco loco! And I want to be nothing else!

[cumulohimbus]

Life Updates

This last weekend I went to a Pride fest a little over an hour away, and wild things ensued.

1. I ran into some friends I met at my local pride this last summer, and even though it took a second for us to recognize each other, it was phenomenal to see them. I ended up staying the night at their place (I'll get to why in a sec).

2. I ran into people I went to Catholic elementary/middle school with. They were running an art booth. It was cool to reconnect with people I'd shared a formative childhood experience with and not be the only one who ended up queer.

3. I ran into my now retired therapist, the one who helped me pursue an autism eval and who wrote the pivotal letter that allowed me to get top surgery. I gave him a hug. I'd only ever interacted with him virtually and he is much taller in person. He seems like he's happy and doing well.

4. I didn't see any furries about so I took it upon myself to don my mascot head, just to gauge the reaction. A lot of people came up to me and got pictures with me, including a mom and her kid who really loves furries. I don't even consider myself a furry; like, I don't participate in the community at all anymore. I just think my fursuit head turned out vvv cute, and I didn't spend around 2 years making it from scratch for it to just collect dust in a closet somewhere. It made me really happy that other people also thought it was cute. It was nice being Spark for a while.

5. I went to a drag show with my friends from the local Pride. We were in the front row. It was so cool to see professionals performing.

6. My friends and I went to an after party at a club. I'd never been to a club before and didn't know what to expect. It wasn't nearly as scary as I thought it would be until the end when the establishment closed and the cops were outside directing folks. While there I ran into someone I was in the Arts Magnet Program with in high school; they were there for their sister-in-law. They told me that whenever I'm ready, other former classmates would probably like to hear from me, and that they'd probably be more accepting of me than I realize.

I didn't achieve my goal of being kissed, but that's okay. I fell in love with my friends in more ways than I care to admit. Nothing more will come of it than friendship, and that's okay too. That's what I needed tbh. I realized the full extent of my loneliness and how badly I need friends right now. I didn't know how bad it was and now that I do, hopefully I can do something about it. I cried a lot, probably because I was more drunk than I've been in years. My friends let me stay at their apartment so I didn't have to sleep in my car.

7. The next day we went to a garden and saw lots of pretty plants and fountains, including the biggest, bluest Larkspurs I've ever seen in person before!!

8. I cried for approximately half of my drive back home. I probably should have pulled over, but I was running on less than an hour of sleep, and I had grad school homework I needed to finish before midnight, so I pushed through. I realized goodbyes have been getting harder. A couple of weekends ago when I visited college friends for the weekend, I cried for a long time on my drive home then too. It seems it didn't take long of being off T for my tear ducts to function again. Something else is wrong with me though, I shouldn't be crying so much over goodbyes; I have my suspicions. I'm sure a particular goodbye that happened more recently isn't helping, but mostly I think I just feel alienated from people like me where I live currently.

I need to get a new vehicle soon so I can travel more. I want to go on dates, both casual and serious, in the near future. I want to kiss and be kissed, if just to feel like I'm alive. I wish I wasn't a terrified kid in a 25 year old's body. I feel like I can't be taken seriously when it comes to romance because of the ways my trauma has broken me into the person I am today (tbf, being transmasc means I look like a 14 year old boy, so that doesn't help the whole maturity thing either).

I'm coming to terms with how much grief I carry with me everyday. I think that's the most alienating part of it all; I think that's where all the loneliness comes from.

Sadness aside, I really like grad school so far. It doesn't feel hard yet because it's all stuff that interests me. I also got a really nice scholarship package for my first year and that's pretty cool. I'll finally feel alright ordering the print copies of my book, Fidelity to share with friends/family. The sequel, Autonomy, is currently in the works. They're both basically zines that ended up being lengthier than initially intended, and they include a mix of poetry, prose, and photography. I know I don't really have a following here, but if it just so happens that you read all the way to this sentence, if you'd like a free pdf of Fidelity, hmu, I'd be happy to send one your way.

Be kind to yourselves, and stay curious,

-Lark

[bhaalsbabe]

Big vent

My mother knows I've been literally addicted to milk chocolate for years (but especially last one when I ate up to 100-300grams of it PER DAY) and I've just cold feet quit it a few months ago and there just CANNOT be milk chocolate (specifically milk, I don't like any other) in the house because if I find it, I'll probably eat it. Well guess what. She got herself milk chocolate. And I found it yesterday. So I ate like 2 rows of it (and another 2 rows today) and I told her today that she has to get rid of it because I just can't control myself well (the fact I just didn't munch the entire thing is the most I was able to do, I just can't think straight when sugar is involved, I barely eat anything these days so my brain just went crazy). And she's like "what? That expensive lindt chocolate? How could you, I bought one thing for myself and you eat it". I did not eat it all YET. She always have some sort of chocolate in the house but it's always the kind I don't like so it's okay but this... She fucking knows how hard this is for me, how much I starve myself to lose weight, and now my entire journey is in danger because of this? Because she just had to buy a big good milk chocolate and leave it in the box with vegetables (where she stores chocolate for some reason) and now act hurt that I started eating it?? While I'm struggling to not eat the whole thing and get more the next time I'm buying groceries? What the fuck did she expect? AND WE HAVE TWO FRIDGES AND SHE COULD'VE PUT IT IN THE STORAGE BOX IN THE OTHER ONE THAT I DONT FUCKING USE BUT NO, SHE HAS TO USE THE ONE I USE AND STORE MY THINGS IN. She's not even trying anymore. The worst thing is that I know she'd act the exact same way if I was addicted to alcohol and drank one of her many beers that she would keep in the house anyway, because why should *she* abstain too. Because she doesn't understand how fucked up your brain gets when you're addicted to anything. And that the longer you go without it, the harder it is to resist and not be like "just this once" because this once turns into "okay things happen, I'll have it one last time today" and boom you're back in it, finding excuses and every day being the "last day" but it isn't. Ugh I'm just so mad, upset, idk what. And she even knows my weight has been stagnating a little for the past few weeks so I'm already demotivated and now this.

(just btw she's the kind of person that would say "nah you're fine, stop overreacting" even if you were dying, great example of me when I was child, breaking my arm, telling her how my arm hurt AND HER TAKING ME TO THE HOSPITAL AFTER AN ENTIRE WEEK. And we have free healthcare so cost wasn't a problem, it's just her never taking her children seriously, kids or adults)

[thisworldisablackhole]

This month in listening... 03/21/24

Been a minute since I've done one of these roundups, which is maybe for the best. More time for things to happen. This one is gonna be exclusively new releases because the last few weeks have been HOT. The year is really starting to cook up and I'm stoked.

New Waxahatchee album just dropped like 30 minutes ago (at the time of writing this), and I think it might be her best work to date. I've been a fan of the Crutchfield sisters since P.S. Eliot. Alison's band Swearin' is still one of my favourite pop punk bands ever, and Katie has been killing it with her solo work ever since American Weekend came out in 2012. I still have fond memories of running away from home in 2014 and singing Bathtub next to a camp fire, high on mushrooms in some dusty norcal weed town. The americana influence that she has been incorporating into her music recently suits her voice and style of songwriting so well, and I'm so happy to see it really flourish here. The collaboration with MJ Lenderman is just the cherry on top.

SeeYouSpaceCowboy dropped a new 2 part single recently. The first part functions as a short but beautiful piano intro featuring vocals from singer iRis.EXE. I do not know anything about this singer other than the fact that her voice is completely mesmerizing, even just the way she enunciates certain words scratches a weird itch in my brain. The intro cleverly transitions into the next act with the sound of a crowd clapping that slowly synchronizes into a single beat which lays the foundation for the rest of the instruments to come in. Silhouettes In Motion might actually be my new favourite SYSC song, and forebodes extremely well for how much I'm going to love the full album. The way the chorus swings in is so disarming and wonderful, I could just repeat that part over and over.

Last friday, Night Verses finally dropped the long awaited part 2 of their album Every Sound Has A Color In The Valley Of Night. There has been lots of clamor and confusion over why they released the album in parts like this, and I think the only real answer is that they wanted to end up on my year end list two years in a row. Seriously, the second part of this album rules and it starts off so strongly with this song Plague Dancer. This is one of the heaviest songs on part 2 and if full of intoxicating grooves, but the part that really sells me on it is that god damn breakdown where Nick DePirro throws in these muted harmonic strums that sounds pieces of sheet metal flapping in the wind in between chords. It's just so cool. Night Verses might be the only instrumental band I've ever really fallen in love with and I'm totally ok with that.

I should really just wait until Boundaries releases their new album next week, but YOLO. The three singles they have put out are just too good. Boundaries have double down on the heaviness with these tracks, and in doing so have maximized the contrast between the brutal and melodic parts of their sound. The heavy parts are blistering, and the choruses are succinct and effective in their ability to inject a quick blast of relief into the storm. Matt and Tim are also possibly my favourite duo of vocalists in metalcore right now. They are both just so distinct and powerful in their own right, and compliment each other so well. I didn't even realize that Tim is also the drummer until watching their music video a few days ago, so I have gained a whole new level of respect for his cleans.

A new album from One Step Closer has probably been my single most anticipated piece of news ever since their EP Songs for the Willow swept me off my feet in early 2023. That EP showed a distinct shift in their sound in a more melodic direction, and the result was three of their most memorable and interesting songs to date. This new album so far seems to indicate an even further push into pop punk territory and it is a welcome change for me. OSC are at their best when their hearts are on their sleeve, and this new track is oozing in heart. Honestly getting some Separation era Balance and Composure vibes from this song which I absolutely love. This album is coming out a week after the new Like Moths to Flames album which is insane. We gonna be eating good in May.

This new album by Irish folk musician Sam Lee really came out of left field and took me by surprise. I honestly only checked it out because the album art gave me weird Shire Hobbit vibes, and I was pleased when I played the first track and my initial thought was "yup... Hobbit music". I don't listen to a lot of folk music, and when I do, it doesn't sound anything like this. This album is just sounds very mature, and I don't mean that in an egotistical way. I mean it in the way where it sounds like there's some type of ancient wisdom or energy seeping through the cracks of Sam's deep storytellers voice and the thoughtfully dramatic arrangement of instruments. This is one of the most unique albums I'll listen to this year, and I'm glad I took a gamble on it.

A new Greyhaven single also dropped today, and good lord the reception has been nothing but praise. This band has not dropped the ball at all. This Bright and Beautiful World was one of my top 5 or 10 albums of 2022, and this new song is one hundred percent on par with, if not better than the best parts of that record. They are releasing a new 5 song EP on April 12th, thru their new home of Sharp Tone Records. I'm not even mad that it's not a full length, because the quality of this song is so promising. Spiritbox's The Fear of Fear honestly changed my perception about what an EP could accomplish, and now I am hyped at the prospect of a band I love putting out 4 to 6 tracks solid tracks with NO FILLER. The replay value is gonna be huge.

Poisoned Seeds are a local band, and I'm super excited about them right now. They are one of the few really good bands in the scene right now that are drawing more influence from 90s and early 2000s melodic hardcore and metalcore bands. I think it's fairly obvious by now that I love melodic bands, so I'm always hyped when there are people in my own back yard providing that sound at a local level. Guitarist and main song writer Avrinder Dhillon personally cited Shai Hulud as an influence, and I think they provide a great reference for how Poisoned Seeds implement melody into their riffs and vocals with a tasteful subtlety while maintaing an essence that is tough as nails.

[wytfut]

ROW (right of way)

Back in the late 70′s I just happened to bury the telephone line to my current home as an employee of Lincoln Hoot and Hollar (LTT). I remember the foreman having a tizzy with the engineer who wrote up the job, as the “right of ways” were all screwed up, and we didn’t know where to place the line. Who knew I’d eventually own the place.

We purchased this place in 1988. 

Thats relatable to the current time line.

Right next to my property is a house (that wasn’t there in the 1970′s), built with no building permit, pretty much built right on top of a natural gas transport line (30″). 

Its a nice brick ranch home.... but built under the radar of government noses in the mid 1980′s and I’m guessing the gas company.

The building permit is one thing.... but building this home less than 30′ from the gas line is eye opening. They got it built without the gas company knowing about it, or there was an agreement signed... I really don’t know. But I suspect, the gas company was not happy at all. 

This gas line was placed from what i understand in the 30′s.

On this pipeline, on my neighbors property were 2 “farm taps”. One for my house, and one for the house out in front (service lines off of meters to our homes). My neighbors newer brick home was all electric. This is all ironic or at least humorous. 

Natural gas has no smell. But for natural gas to be excepted/purchased into a house, it had to smell (for the customer to be able tell if there was a leak).

One of the many jobs of the gas company was to regularly attach a brand new bottle of “STINK” to the farm tap at the meter. Its a very strong Sulphur smell. 

Notoriously, when the gas company would attach a new bottle of “STINK”  at the meter, they would naturally spill some on the ground.

The folks who built the house were gone when we moved in... and our new neighbors to be fair are “dink”s  (dual income no kids). As they don’t like neighbors, or being social, and no outside influences.... Their narrowed life partially consisted of calling the gas company regularly to report a “leak”  (smell from spilled “STINK”). This was the process for quite a few years.

That stink was horrible most of the time.... we could smell it all the way to our house. Sometimes much worse than others.  

Same neighbor decided to put up a large pole shed for his car collection, and hit our service line from his property to ours. Actually twice, both times they were very embarrassed, and couldn’t apologize enough. (hitting utilities from digging events was nothing new to me). I’m a little fuzzy on this piece of time, but Its close enough.

The second time the Gas company came out to repair my service, they “red tagged” it as unsafe/condemned. Well it was placed back in the 30′s.... kind of makes sense.

I went an bought a roll of plastic gas line, some splices, and rented a yard plow to place the line from my neighbors to our home. 

I got it placed and had the local plumber hook it all up. 

About a month later, I got a call from a gas company engineer. “Mr. Whitefoot!... how’d you like to have a brand new service line to your house from the City of Waverly’s main???”        Seriously? ... I just spent $200 on materials, labor and rental for my gas line.... a month ago, and now your want to put in another new one?    Why don’t you guys know this, you condemned my line? 

I said no, unless they would reimburse me for my costs of the first “new” one. Nope, they wouldn’t do that.

So there was some under the table discussion with my 2 neighbors, and the next thing I knew, I was getting a new service line attached to the city of Waverly. Turns out, my neighbors went and paid me thru the gas company for reimbursement of my time and costs. 

$200 isn’t anything today. But then, we were single income, with 3 boys.... that money was big money then to us. I was happy, but embarrassed, and humbled all at the same time. Trying to get my dig in with the gas company, and ended up feeling bad about my neighbors.

Some time in here (1990?).... Our neighboring farm field to the north, had sold to become a subdivision. There was lots of discussing, and head scratching, what to do about this gas line running right thru the middle of it. Final decision was that there would be a green area established thru the neighborhood, that would be the gas companies ROW, but the home owners or HOA would maintain. All the yards would abut up to this green area.

There was also some thoughts of building the new high school on this piece of property, and the gas line would be placed in a tunnel under the school.

None the less, the gas company decided that they would replace the pipe, since it was aged, from south of my property at I80 ROW all the way to high way 6 ROW. The gas company called this project “the million dollar mile”.

Yes, they went right thru my neighbors property. This would be the main part of their drive way parallel to route. They could reach out their kitchen window and just about touch the heavy equipment operating in their yard, well maybe not, but in theory, it was right there.

As “dink”s, their yard was always perfect. They had a hard time with this. But excepted it all.

It was roughly a year or 2 later (1994), I got another call from the gas company. They called to inform me (and anyone within reasonable distance to their transport line), to let them know, they were going to abandoned and remove this “old” line.

I said.... “Sir, you do realize that you folks just replaced all of this line for 1 mile not 2 years ago??”     .....   “uh no, I didn’t”

It sounded like this was going to be abandoned as an idea, as every farm, acreage, home along the route of this gas line (this is not acceptable practice anymore) had a “farm tap” on that line. This transport line ran for miles... guessing 100+. Lots of folks were going to have to find a new source for heating their homes, most likely have to buy a new furnace. 

I kept receiving odd paper work in the mail referring to that gas line and possibly removal for years. 

Last year, a contractor came thru and removed all of the accessible parts of the transport gas line running north and south .   I saw them coming a week or 2 before, thinking they were going to go thru my neighbors property again. Neighbors got lucky, as the gas company didn’t want to pay for property restorations of nice yards....   

Long piece of history with gas lines .....   and real head scratching...  I realize I’m one customer of a huge company. 

But in my opinion, the days of when large businesses knew their customers are gone. They don’t realize how they trample all over everyone, to make a buck, and don’t care if they keep a customer. It has nothing to do with some bad for the benefit of the majority. 

They get so big that they cannot communicate with themselves. As shown above several times.

Sounds like a grumpy old man to me....

[dybdahltravels2022]

Farewell to London

October 9, 2022 - Heathrow Airport

With just one more day in London we spent the day casually exploring Hyde Park and finished big with Les Mis and truly the entire day was just plain perfect.

When we got to the park a Fun Run was taking place to race money for seriously ill children.

Families were everywhere and one of the true charms of any big city (London has almost 9 million people!) is the diversity. We warmed many benches during the several hours we explored the park and each time we would hear 3 or 4 or 12 different languages as families enjoyed the park. Families were any and all combos, races and generations.

After the race there were activities, food trucks and a variety of activities. This was one of my favorite - velcro soccer - or should I say football! We watched this for a while and loved how the kids could nail that target - but the adults went over, right or left consistently. It got to be pretty hilarious.

We visited the Princess Diana Memorial Fountain and loved watching the kids play in the water even though it was mid October.

We walked over 7 miles - again - but there was no rush, no fuss and the only time we had to think about was 7:30 PM or 19:30, the time to be in our seats for the show.

Going to a play in London is very different that going to a play in the US - although we haven't been to a play in a long time in the US thanks to Covid. The difference is food and drink. There are bars all over the theater and you can take your drink to your seat - and then order another to be delivered. At intermission - they sell cups of ice cream and of course more drinks. Because Mark likes to be wherever we need to go - early, we arrived to all the plays with enough time to sit and leisurely enjoy a cocktail. So we get our drinks and look around the lounge and see a young couple sitting at a table for 4 and we asked to join them. This delightful Germans were visiting London for 3 days and 2 nights leaving their 1 and 3 year old children with grandparents for the first time. They had seen the movie Les Mis with Huge Jackman and Russell Crowe but this was there first time seeing the theater production. We assured them they would LOVE it and confessed that we had seen it numerous times. We wished them well and departed for our seat as the bell rang.

We were more than surprised to see them follow us to our row and take their seats that were right next to ours. What are the chances of that happening!??! Our new friends, Maria and Johannes, were just so cute and excited about the play. At intermission they wanted to know our opinions on the set, costumes, variations, etc. of the different productions. At the end of the play, as Maria and I wiped our tears away, she learned over and told me that she and Johannes couldn't understand WHY anyone would want to see a play more than once - but NOW she knew. She said that this was the best production of anything she had ever seen! It is very easy to love Les Mis!!! It also turned out the Les Mis opened in London on October 8, 1985 so as the audience sang Happy Birthday, confetti poured from the ceiling. It is the longest running play in history and they continue to play to a packed house.

We have certainly used our proximity to great theater here and Les Mis was our 5th show. Our one mistake was Grease. No wonder one could get discount tickets for it. The actors were brilliant but I just don't like the story line. I have always thought that - but I keep forgetting since there are a couple songs I like. Oh well. On the top of the list is Hamilton and Les Mis - which were spectacular! If someone wanted to give me great seats to one or the other - I would have to flip a coin and either one would leave me overjoyed.

Our nights were filled with theater but our days - except our very last day was filled to taking it all in. We saw the London Eye, but with 25 people stuffed into a closed pod (we nicknamed them Covid Pods) - we opted out.

We walked over the Thames many time on sidewalks and foot bridges. We took a dinner cruise and a day cruise as well. We drove over many bridges too - but the Tower Bridge was a my favorite.

It is beautiful!

We also drove over the new London Bridge - the boring replacement for the Old London Bridge that was indeed falling down. These bridges are built on silt and are monitored all the time for issues. OMG!!! The original London Bridge can be seen in Lake Havasu City, Arizona purchased from the city of London in the 1980s.

Mark and I have seen and I don't know what it is built on - but it too is lovely even if it no longer lives in London.

We spend an afternoon visiting Winston Churchill's Museum and War Room bunkers. This is the underground city in which Churchill and many of the government officials lived and worked during WWII. This secret city had tunnels that allowed access to and from 10 Downing St. and Whitehall offices. We visited on a beautiful day and it was hard to leave the brilliant sunshine to go into these bunkers. It also emphasized just how dreadful it would have been to never see sunlight - which happened day after day for so many people. It was fascinating and the dedication, sacrifice and fearlessness of so many is always humbling. The Churchill Museum was also excellent.

We also spent most of a day in the National Gallery and this might have been my most frustrating eyesight day. I LOVE going to art museums and I can spend hours and hours there - BUT I also love reading the accompanying information and examining the detail. When was this created? What is the story the artist is sharing? What is the media? All of those details that make an art museum so intriguing was outside of my vision capabilities. I could have done it - BUT in order to do so I was a little too close to the work - and did you know an alarm goes off if that happens... But despite my whining I did see some amazing works of art from some of my favs. Van Gogh anyone?

But here was the best part: Mark and I met up for coffee after a couple of hours and he said "Did you see all the Diego Velázquez painting?" and OMG -I had NOT - so I downed the flat white (my fav) and headed back to gallery 36.

Why was I so excited? Diego Rodríguez de Silva y Velázquez was a Spanish painter, the leading artist in the court of King Philip IV of Spain and Portugal, and of the Spanish Golden Age. Frankly, this is NOT my favorite period BUT Diego's story is told in the Newbery Award winning book, I, Juan de Pareja. The book is based on the Portrait of Juan de Pareja, the real-life portrait that Diego Velázquez made of his slave Juan de Pareja (in the Metropolitan Museum in NYC.) Juan de Pareja or "Juanito" as we came to know him also became a fabulous artist. During my Covid 2 year "Read-a-Thon" with grandchildren, Sagan & Katelyn, we read this book and then when it was safe made a trek to the DIA to find works by either artist. The DIA has only one Velázquez and none of Pareja. Since that time - and in every art museum we have visited this has been a quest. I saw two Velázquez paintings in the Belvedere in Vienna - but here is London is was a gallery dedicated to his works AND included works the museum "believes" were painted by former enslaved servant. I was so excited and snapped photos and sent them directly to Sagan & Katelyn.

Below is a a portrait of King Phillip IV of Spain and Portugal who played an important role in the book as he appeared not only to sit for his portrait but also to have some solitude.

Juan de Pareja painted many things - but while he was "owned," he could not sign his work. Because of this some of his works are identified as "Possibly by Juan de Pareja . Below is one of the works "possibly" by Juan de Pareja .

Anyway - it may not have been exciting to anyone but me - but since I write this blog primarily for me and our family - this was a PERFECT event for a frustrating time in an amazing art museum.

And speaking of that - most art museums are beautiful but this museum was a piece of art without anything handing on the walls. OMG!

We saw Trafalgar Square and the first time we were there, there was a massive protest calling out Iran and their morality police and the death of Mahsa Amini. (That is the National Gallery in the background.)

Below is what it looks like without a political rally - don't want to forget about Admiral Nelson...

We visited Piccadilly Circus and just about every hing you can think of that makes London London. We did NOT however see the changing of the guard in Buckingham Palace. Oh well....

Now that our time here is ending, I can talk about the weather. Our expectations were for fog surrounding by lots of rain and clouds. We did get a good drenching while we were standing in the queue to see Get Up, Stand Up - but that was it for any precipitation. Every day we had sunshine. Sometimes are sunshine would disappear for an hour or so - but it would return just as quickly as it disappeared.

We are coming to the end of a wonderful trip that started on August 12th, 2022. That seems like decades ago - by the way. We have , learned so much because you cannot NOT learn if you travel. If only we could remember most of it - we would be geniuses!

We have learned that Covid is not over - but many countries, like Turkey and Greece, Ireland and the UK have reached herd immunity with vaccination rates high enough to be able to go about their normal lives. They are however afraid of Americans who refuse to be vaccinated thus allowing the virus to infect, mutate and infect again - this time in a new form. Mark and I wore our masks faithfully and one woman asked about the masks and if we were from America. When I said we were - she thanked me for masking. "It is just basic science, you know." she said. I sighed and agreed.

We did NOT get Covid on this trip but we tested several times. Mark had a little bit of a cold and sore throat - test! On our trip around Great Britain more than half of the people in our group came down with Covid. Many went home and many were just quarantined - but WHY people are hesitant to mask even after they are coughing and sneezing is beyond my understanding. And just plain selfish. I talked to one women - who we called TM (Typhoid Mary) and asked her to please mask but she told me it was just a bad cold. I told her - NO ONE WANTS THAT EITHER!

October 9, 2022

We are home! Gwynn picked us up after a long day dedicated to hurrying to stand in lines, waiting for the next event, standing in line again and waiting some more. But 14 hours after we left our hotel in London, we were sitting at our kitchen table. Now that is pretty slick!

This trip is in the books - and what a trip it was. I continue to think I'm the luckiest person on the planet.

[washingtonandwinter]

One has to wonder what truly is going on with the Harkles. Their actions are bizarre.

1.  Mr. Eco-warrior- Travalyst {whatever that is} flying private.  And then releasing pictures of the plane.  No doubt similar to the one used by the ghoul in Texas.

2. In the middle of a lawsuit against the Home Office- Rolling down the window in a bullet proof car.  Guess not scared enough to get a picture.

3.  Everyone knowing that all Senior Royals including the Cambs had duties to perform on behalf of the Queen.  Pictures everywhere.

4. Yet now complaining that the the Cambs did not come to some birthday party while they were in Wales?  First it was a private party.  Then it was the Tindalls and Phillips kids along with Autumn were invited.  And now the most provable lie of a story.  Which for them is just stupid.

5.  Their story changes by the hour.

6. Scoobie stirring it up about a 4 year old who stood and was talking to the Queen on the balcony.

7.  Once the balcony was announced- within minutes stating they were coming.  WHY?  Did they not get the message or did Harry think he could charm his Grandmother to include them?

8.  The Queen answered that by sticking Prince second row across the aisle Harry in his place.  Guess she wasn’t charmed.

9.  How many balcony stories did we have to read?  Seriously.

10.  Netflix was refused credentials.  So in the pea brain that they split bringing their own photographer would be the answer to get around the Queen.  Never happened.  No shots for sale.

11.  They were humiliated because they humiliated themselves these past 2 years.  They are not Royal.

12.  And finally a picture of a cute baby.  No party balloons, no digging into cake etc.  Wonder if anyone showed.

13.  This weekend was about the QUEEN.  They never got that.  And the public let them knew how they felt.  Period.  The booing was real.

14 The Queen has been photographed with George, Charlotte, Savannah as babies.  All her great grandchildren have been photographed with Louis in her lap.  But the pictures were private until Philip passed away.  Then with HER permission they were made public.

15. Something seems off kilter with these two. Ego, lack of intelligence and the complete denseness of what they have done.

16.  Where was Archie?  Surely he would have enjoyed the pageant.  Yet he was on a private plane heading back to a world that is simply make believe.

17.  So no picture with the Queen and Scoobie missed the crowds and all of the excitement of the Jubilee.  Why bother coming at all when every minute had been planned for those who mattered.

18.  And no one is duller than these 2 and Scoobie.  NO ONE.

[hello-nichya-here]

How NOT to write romance - How I Met Your Mother edition

Warning: long-ass post and lots of bitterness over a TV show that ended nearly eight years ago.

Basics for story-telling

If the romance you want to write is dysfunctional, fucking embrace it and have fun with the concept instead of pretending the bad shit the characters do is okay because “it’s true love”

Acknowledgde that your main character has flaws instead of acting like he is a saint who can do no wrong for no reason other than “he is the main character. Definitively don’t make him do, of his own free will, the exact exact same things the supposedly “selfish and cruel” womanizer does and then excuse it as him having “succumbed to/been tricked by a bad influece” like he’s child who doesn’t know any better instead of being a grown ass adult.

Don’t make your characters be annoying, entitled fuckers who think they have the right to judge others for wanting different things out of a relationship/not wanting a relationship at all. Don’t act like monogamy, double dates with other couples, marriage and children are something EVERYONE secretly wants deep down.

Don’t demonize the “evil” character of the group and act like the “heroes” being appalled by the shit he does is anything other than hypocricy. There’s literally nothing forcing them to be friends with him, so they’re obviously not as horrified at bad shit he does as they say they are, otherwise they would have ditched him a long time ago.

Don’t have the “heartless womanizer”,  who we later find out is the ex-husband of the girl the lead wanted for himself, be shown to us exclusively through the eyes of the an unreliable narrator who had motivation to make him see worse than he is likely to be (get his kids to want him to get the girl instead of the “douchebag”). Also, don’t make his schemes to trick women into sleeping with them so completely absurd and ridiculous that the audience is pretty sure that 70% of the women he banged were completely aware he just wanted a quick fuck and went along with it anyway because they wanted some dick (and because the character is played by Neil Patric Harris, who is incapable of not being charismatic)

Fucking let you characters (especially the supposed hero we’re supposed to think is the best boyfriend ever) grow instead of making them constantly repeat the same mistakes

Lily and Marshall

Don’t make one of the characters hide something very important from their partner, and then have the audacity to be mad at them for “just not understanding” as if they were given any reason to understand what the problem even is

Don’t act like someone being heartbroken that their partner lied to them and practically made a plan to “escape” being married to them means they’re not being “supportive” of said partners dream - you should especially not do that after we were shown that they took a job they didn’t like just to make sure they’d have a secure future that would allow said partner to follow their dream.

Don’t have the character who was obviously in the wrong need to be convinced to get their shit together and apologize to their ex.

If a character forgave the ex who wronged them and even got back together with them, don’t have them constantly hold their past mistakes over their head like it that problem has not already been solved - you especially not make them do that on what was supposed to be their wedding day. They can either forgive their partner or not, they can’t keep going back and forth.

Don’t have them constantly hide important shit from each other (having a huge financial debt, getting a job, etc)

DO NOT have the character who fucked up years prior suddenly be willing to do the same shit again for the EXACT same reason (”I think our relationship is in the way of my dreams and I’m now completely isolated because I refuse to talk things out with you”) and then expect the audience to sympathize with them.

Ted and Robin 

Unless you’re writing a Disney/Disney-esque romance, don’t have your lead just look at someone across the room, decide they’re “The one”, imagine their life together and full on say “I’m love with you” AND “I love you” on the first goddamn date.

Don’t have the lead stalk his love interest, and throw three parties in a row just to have an excuse to get close to her now that she made it clear she is not interested in having a relationship with him.

Don’t have the “hero” lie about having broken up with his girlfriend so the girl he wants to be with will sleep with him, and then have him blame his actions on time. “Nothing good happens after 2 a.m.” Grow a pair of balls, Ted!

If one of the characters says “You’re going too fast on the whole ‘love’ thing. Can’t we just go on a few dates and see what happens instead of already starting to plan our lives together?” and the others throws a fit, that is called “being incompatible” and “damn, this dude doesn’t respect boundaries”, not “Wow, she’s so afraid of commitment”

If you want the audience to believe the main character’s feelings are not one-sided, don’t make the fact that said feelings ARE unrequited a running joke, and don’t have the girl only accept giving him a chance after having to deal with the fucker whining “But I love you” for months and/or after going through bad break ups. Also, if you have to retcon half the fucking show to “proove” that “she DOES love him”, that pairing fucking sucks.

Don’t compare the couple you want the audience to root for to the main character’s divorced, dysfunctional parents, and don’t have flashbacks showing that the lead had no clue what his girlfriend actually liked in bed AND that she literally covered up his face so she could pretend she was fucking someone else.

DON’T MAKE HER GET RID OF HER DOGS, YOU FUCKING MONSTER!

If your lead character is still jealous/possessive of his ex, thinks he still has a chance even after she told him to his face that she didn’t love him, and acts like she and her fiance (who he says is his friend) being happy is somehow them being selfish and cruel, your lead character is a loser AND an asshole.

Don’t throw away the entire premise of the show (Ted finding the REAL love of his life) just to force a bad pairing down the audience’s throat

Ted Mosby in general

Don’t have your “romantic, sensitive hero” break up with a girl on her birthday through an answering machine, come back into her life without warning years later because he’s afraid he’ll die alone, and find out that she never heard the message but was actually told about it by her friends and family who were at her apartment preparing a surprise party for her. You should especially not make his first reaction to this new be being mad that he was not invited to the party, and for the love of God, don’t make him break up with her on her birthday AGAIN.

Don’t have the “hero” cheat on his girlfriend and excuse it with bullshit like “Nothing good happens 2 a.m.” and “But I genuinely love Robin so it’s okay that I’m lying to both of them”. Do not, I repeat, do NOT have him blame it on his girlfriend being distant when she didn’t pick up the phone one night and then called back the second she was free to do so, while he was enjoying the gifts she sent him and LIED to her about having sent her some as well.

Don’t fucking make an entire episode with the premise of him turning a no into a yes - and telling that story to his children like it’s romantic.

Don’t have his fiance, who he knows has a rocky relationship with the father of her daughter, tell him she is uncomfortable with him inviting his ex to their wedding and then have him decide “This means I should invite her ex as well”. Also don’t expect me to feel bad for him when she runs off with said ex.

Don’t have him spend YEARS waiting for one of the hundreds of girls he thinks is “the one” to be single and even ask her neighbour to spy on her and let him know when/if she breaks up with her boyfriend - again, for YEARS.

Don’t have the lead say he’s gonna tell their kids about his love story with their DECEASED mother, only for it to secretly be an excuse for him to go “By the way, I’m still in love with aunt Robin despite her having rejected me for 25 years, can I go screw her?”

Don’t act like making the characters reverse back into who they were at the beginning at the story means they’re gonna make things work this time when the whole point of their break up in the beginning on the story was the fact that they’re just not right for each other.

Robin and Kevin

A therapist who was supposed to help their patient move on after a bad break up that messed them up, dating said patient is a major red flag. It is also a bad sign that, when she cheats on him and wants to break up, he realized what she was doing to used his job as “evidence” that he knew better and that she should NOT tell her partner how she felt/what she actually wanted.

Do NOT have said therapist date yet ANOTHER patient that asked him help to move on from a bad break up. Seriously, Kevin was a creep, stop acting like he was some angel who “deserved better than Robin.”

BONUS: How NOT to break up a couple - Barney and Robin edition

Don’t act like their relationship falling appart after their friends kept meddling, and even kept them locked in a room against their will until they labeled their relationship as something they aproved of, is somehow “proof” that they’re not good for each other.

Don’t retcon their relationship to force a break up (seriously, Barney was super supportive of Robin long before he even fell in love with her, but I’m supposed to believe he’d be a bad boyfriend who is never there for her? And he loved advantures and always said “challenge accepted”, but was suddenly miserable travelling the world with her and couldn’t deal with not having wi-fi at the hotel? Fuck off)

Don’t spend an entire season focusing on their wedding, have them get married and then divorce THE NEXT FUCKING EPISODE! Why do you hate your audience? Even people who don’t want them together can see this a terrible idea.

And most important of all, when people question what the fuck were you thinking, don’t have a meltdown on twitter and say that people who think Barney can change are responsible for Donald Trump being elected, you fucking weirdo, go see a therapist (that isn’t like Kevin)

[twinklelilstarkey]

Cuddles - Mathew Barzal

Words: 2.7k+

Type: Fluff

Summary: Every time Mat comes back from a roadie, he becomes the clingiest person known to Earth, which means that he will do absolutely anything to get your attention and his god damn cuddles.

Warnings: PDA - just Mat being really touchy and stuff. There isn’t a mention on reader’s gender.

Mathew is not really the type of person that constantly seeks affection. He just likes his own space from time to time. Especially outside of the house, he’ll hold your hand but he’s not one to hug you out of nowhere, unlike some couples in your friend group.

But, that is only when he hasn’t been away from you for some time. If, for example, you two go spend the holidays with your families (separated), Mathew is not leaving your side when you’re back together. He absolutely will not let you go to do anything. 

So you better take the week off work, every time, you got a man to cuddle. 

And now that you two have been dating for a longer time, officially living under the same roof and doing everything like a whole married couple, Mathew’s seeking for affection after being away is through the roof. Like, he’s out for 2 weeks for a roadie, expect that men to hug you by the bus and never let go of you until you need to pee.

You believe that it might be because he now gets so used to seeing you everywhere in the house that when he leaves, he has that silence and that person missing. 

Yet, still, you never, in a million years, expected him to take his hugs so seriously.

And that is exactly what’s happening right now. He went out for a long roadie, which he can’t complain much because the Islanders won a lot and he had a great time with his friends, but, god damn it, he hated that he had to spend such a long time away from you and just staring at you through a screen.

He came back home late at night, around 4 in the morning, and even though you two felt exhausted - and you were half asleep - he still hugged you and stayed with his arms around you for a good 5 minutes. That is even without closing the front door when he came in.

And when you did reach the bed, you two fell asleep in just a few seconds.

You were able to wake up, naturally, early and Mathew looked so peaceful when you woke up that you tried your best not to move too much and wake him on accident. That man needs rest, and you seriously can’t take that away from him. 

So, you used your silent Sunday morning to the best of your ability, did a lengthy morning routine, just to have that moment with yourself in calm days: take a long relaxing shower, and even do a mask and test new products on your face.

You’re honestly living your best life.

And even after those good 40-50 minutes in the bathroom, Mathew is still asleep when you walk out. 

So, you decide to go have breakfast and probably, just if you’re feeling like it, clean the apartment - an activity you’ve been hesitating to do for days, but, sooner or later, you do have to do it.

And you, like the brave soul that you are, started working on it as soon as you can. Literally downed your coffee like a shot, ate a granola bar, and cleaning you went.

The living room and bathrooms were fairly easy and quick, but as soon as you started with the kitchen, a wild sleepy Mathew makes an appearance.

“Morning.” You say with a smile.

With his eyes still half-closed yet a grin on his face, Mathew walks over to you, slowly starting to open his arms. You put down the rag onto the counter and meet him halfway to wrap your arms around his torso. His arms wrap around your shoulders and squeeze you close.

He leans his cheek onto your head and you close your eyes, feeling and enjoying Mathew’s warmth through the thin shirt you’re wearing.

“How did you sleep?” You ask him.

“Good. I was so tired.” He says while letting out a sigh.

You squeeze him one time and move your head back to stare up at him. He looks down to meet your gaze and gives you a quick kiss, almost as if he’s stealing one.

“What do you want to do today?” He asks you, and you can’t help but hold in a cringe.

“I don’t know if we can do anything exciting today.” You tell him slowly.

“Why?” He asks with a confused frown.

“I have a lot to do today.” You start, “I have to finish cleaning the house, probably go grocery shopping and do my meals for the week.”

A loud and long groan leaves Matthew’s mouth as he throws his head back dramatically and you unwrap your arms from around him to hold his sides.

“I’m sorry.” You try to make it better with a soft tone. “Were you planning on doing anything?”

He brings his head back up and shakes his head.

“Just wanted to spend time with you.” He says before pulling you into a hug again, “And cuddle.” He says against your neck.

You wrap your arms around him again and run your hand up and down his back comfortingly.

“I’m still going to be at home. I just won’t be able to cuddle until I’m done with everything.” You tell him and he sighs dramatically. “You can always help me? So I’m done with all of this quicker.”

Mathew stays silent, still snuggled into your neck, and doesn’t even move a muscle.

Accepting his silence as an answer of ‘no, thank you’ or even ‘let me wake up first and I’ll answer you’, you try to move away from him, laying your hands by his sides again and pushing him away ever so slightly. But, right as Mathew feels the pressure of you pulling him away, he stops you by squeezing you a bit closer.

“Nooo.” He whines, making you laugh, “Just a few more seconds.”

(...)

Mathew, surprisingly, after his long morning shower and eating his breakfast (over the table you just cleaned), actually offered to help. He ignored your surprised look, looked at you, and just asked “what do you need me to do?”.

And off Mat went to clean your room and make the bed. You just finished off with the kitchen and swept some floors, and, honestly, you don’t think you’ve ever got everything done so quickly.

With Mathew still in the bedroom, you decide to start working on the list of groceries. Opening every cabinet and the fridge multiple times, you typed into your phone’s notes what is missing and what you’ll eventually need in a space of a few hours after cooking.

While deep into your task, you don’t notice Mat coming back from the bedroom with the full dirty laundry basket - mostly because he just emptied his travel bag and just changed the sheets. He walks through the kitchen to the laundry room and yet you don’t blink an eye in his direction. 

You are so focused that Mat is starting to think that someone could rob the apartment, right now, and you wouldn’t even notice them.

When the laundry is separated and some of it is already on the machine, which is already on, Mat walks back out to the kitchen and notices you typing on your phone.

“Do you want to go to get the food before lunch?” He asks you, in hopes you would answer him.

You just nod, while scrolling through the list to see if you didn’t repeat anything.

Mat stares at you for a bit, taking a second or two to admire you - something he was unable to do for a good few days. He takes a few steps closer, almost as if testing the waters, and stands right beside you.

He acts as if he’s checking the list you’re writing, and leans in close to you. You, still in your own world, pay him no mind and continue to type and check at least 3 times in the row if anything is missing on the list.

His arms sneakily wrap around your hips and he pulls you closer to him to the point of completely having you against him. He lays a kiss on the side of your head and looks down at your phone again, not wanting to disrupt you too much.

Your vacant hand lays over his arm, caressing it unconsciously as you delete a few words and type some new ones.

“Want to go to the store with me?” You ask him.

You look up at him as Mat doesn’t say anything and when your eyes meet, he gives you a quick nod. You smile at him and he kisses your cheek.

(...)

“You know...” You start while looking at the shelves down the aisle, “You’re making it really hard to walk, babe.”

“I don’t know what you mean by that.”

You laugh at Mat and he smiles against your shoulder. He has been doing this every time the aisle you’re walking down is empty - which is almost every aisle. He has his arms around your waist and is holding you from behind close to him while you try to walk with the shopping cart right in front of you.

You don’t even know how many times you’ve tripped over each other’s feet, but Mat doesn’t seem to mind it at all.

You look down at your list and delete the name of another item as you throw it inside the cart.

“You look really beautiful today.” Mat says against your ear before pressing a kiss over the side of your head.

You look over at him and he leans his head back to look at you better, as well. A small grin lifts off the corners of your lips and he smiles before giving you a kiss.

As you two pull away, you turn your attention back to the aisle in front of you.

“Good to know I just look like that today.” You say to him in the most serious tone ever.

Mat giggles at your words beside your ear and soon your serious act lifts off. In your defense, it’s hard to do so when he’s that close to your ear, giggling his sanity away.

“You know what I mean.” He says while poking your side.

“You’re lucky I do.”

He smiles brightly and goes back to leaning his head over your shoulder. Good thing for him, the store is almost empty, so he can do that for most of the time you’re here.

You stop the cart once more and start, with the best of your ability, putting the things you need from the shelves into the center of the cart.

Soft humming is heard a few meters behind you, yet both you and Mat seem to ignore it. An old lady, with a little basket on her hand, walks down the aisle innocently, looking through the products on the shelves, and as she studies all the varieties, her eyes land on you.

Her view is quite interesting. You’re looking down at your phone, lifting your gaze to squint at what’s in front of you - what she assumes is the signs about each aisle - and a man, Mat, is with his dark hair mostly covered by his hoodie, even though some strands are falling to his forehead, hugging you close to him while peeking down at your phone.

If she wasn’t such a romantic person, she would’ve thought about and probably criticized - in her mind - how clingy you both looked. Yet she’s not one to turn her nose in disgust at such things, quite the opposite. She’s the one that smiles upon seeing them.

“Mat, can you pass me that bag?” She hears you ask the boy while giving him a pat on the head to get his attention.

He doesn’t verbally answer, but, right away, he stands upright and reaches up for the bag your pointing at the top of the shelves.

“Wait- Not that one.” You told him.

“Why not?” He frowns in confusion.

“It doesn’t look good.”

He gives you a look as if you’re going crazy and grabs your wished bag of sugar while listening to you giggle at his annoyance. When the bag reaches the center of the cart, he goes back to behind you and goes back to his warm, kind of, hiding place. 

And that’s when the lady decides to not stare for much longer, in hopes she wouldn’t spook anyone, and walks away to continue her shopping.

You, without even blinking at Mat’s actions, start moving forward out of the aisle and onto the next one. And that’s when your eyes land on the lady, who is walking by you now, at a way faster pace - you got to blame Mat for that one; you swear that a sloth moves faster than you two.

(...)

“Are you done, now?” Mat asks for probably the 100th time in the past hour.

You put down the rinsed pan on the washing machine and finally look back at Mat while closing it.

“Yes.”

“Really?” He asks with widened eyes, “Or are you joking?”

“I’m 100% serious.”

Mathew stands from the high chair of the island and walks over to you right away. He grabs onto your hand and starts pulling you towards the living room and couch, finally going after what he has been wishing all day long. His god damn cuddles.

You have been cooking for the past hour and some more minutes for your meals to eat during the week for work - a habit you’ve started having for a few months and can’t seem to not do it when there’s a big week incoming.

In other words, the restaurants around your work aren’t that great, you’re tired of sandwiches and you’ve been finding yourself too tired during the week to do lunch in the morning or on the night before. So, meal prepping, it is.

You and Mathew walk into the living room and he’s quick to snatch the largest blanket you had just folded this morning. He lets go of your hand before giving a look, almost as if to tell you, ‘don’t you dare move’.

You smile at him as he lays over the couch and motions you to come closer. He grabs onto the tv remote first, probably to get a movie going, just for background noise, and you lay with him.

Your face lays over Mat’s chest comfortably and you feel him shake the blanket around before draping it over the two of you. A little grin is planted over your face as he practically starts tucking you in, close to him.

As soon as the movie is chosen, Mat’s arms wrap around you and he pulls you even closer.

The both of you stare at the TV in silence. You’re just curious to see what movie he chose, while Mat just wants to see if the movie is any good. 

But then, suddenly, an uneasy feeling hits the end of your tummy.

Oh no, he’s going to absolutely hate you.

How are you even supposed to tell him this?

You try to focus on the screen and forget about all your needs. You just got to focus, Y/N, come on.

Not even five minutes later, you feel like you can’t hold it in anymore. Ugh, just do it.

“Hey, Mat?” You ask, tone a little hesitant.

“Yeah?” He asks, moving his hand up and down your back.

“I need to tell you something and, please, don’t be mad.”

Mathew frowns and looks away from the screen at you. He’s confused, you can tell. You can’t really blame him, you were just fine a few minutes ago, and now you sounded like you were about to unleash a bomb.

“Okay...?” He says almost as if to encourage you to talk, since you stayed very quiet.

“I might need to go pee.” You tell him.

His hand abruptly stops moving on your back and his expression of confusion falls into an expression of disbelief.

“Are you serious?” He asks.

“Yeah.” You say, biting your lips as if to keep in your giggles.

“How dare you?”

A giggle finally escapes your mouth and you notice his lips twitching slightly as he tries not to smile and continue his serious act.

“I’ll be right back, yeah?” You tell him as you start sitting up on your knees.

“Screw you.” He tells you and you laugh again.

You’re quick on standing back on your feet and make your way to the bathroom, very fast-paced.

“I love you too, Barzal!” You tell him as you walk out of the room.

Hope this is good!

[whoreiaki-kakyoin]

Alt-bacchio Headcanons- Alt/Punk Abbacchio x Gender Neutral Reader

I’m still majorly brainrotting for Abbacchio as the hot older brother of your best friend Narancia? So enjoy some thoughts I keep having. (For reference, I got the idea for 1. Abbacchio's general look/vibe and 2. the older brother type dynamic from this awesome comic by gaminegay)

You and Narancia are good friends, probably having met through school or at mutual hangout spots. I imagine you both being at least college age, with you a little older than Narancia and Abbacchio a few years older than you

One day, you come over, and Abbacchio answers the door, silver hair tied back, headphones slung around his neck, lipstick and eyeliner and several piercings in his ears, and you think you might swoon. He acts indifferent, but you don’t miss the quick once-over he gives you as he grunts out a, “you’re Narancia’s friend? Well come in, then, he’s upstairs.”

“Okay, what the fuck, you never told me you had a brother!”

“Eh, yeah, we're not blood related, but Leone's a good big bro. He’s a pain in the ass sometimes, but he’s pretty chill.”

Leone usually excuses himself with an eye roll when Narancia is having friends over? Just does his own thing? Yet after you come over one day and he gets a glimpse of you, suddenly he hangs around more

Narancia goes to point this out (genuinely not intending anything by it, he just thinks it’s weird), and Abbacchio roughly elbows him in the side mid-sentence to shut him up

“Why are you even hanging around so much, you usually hate being around when my friends are ov— OW!” “No, I don’t, stop being a brat.”

He gives you a wolfish smile when he sees you’re blushing after that. Narancia is too busy cursing out his brother to notice.

Sometimes he’ll come in with his hair tied up in a messy bun and wearing a tight tank top after a workout and…. You really do try your best not to let Narancia catch you staring

Because honestly, you feel a little guilty. Nara’s one of your best friends, and wouldn’t he think it’s gross if he found out you had the hots for his older brother?

But it’s not like he’s that much older. Only a few years. So maybe it wouldn’t be weird? No, best to forget it, you’re overthinking.

But that doesn't stop your heart from skipping a beat when Leone leans over you to grab a blanket on movie night or a video game controller if he’s joining you two for a game. Does this bastard honestly have to sit right next to you on the couch? There’s plenty of room!

Leone does not care. You’re so cute when he leans over you so that his chest is almost pressed against you… trying to hide the way your breath catches in your throat and keep from blushing. He’ll give you a casual shrug and a grin after, or a gravelly “sorry, doll” as he bites back a smirk and you try your best not to short circuit

I so think modern au/big brother Abba is into alt/punk types of fashion, so naturally it led to the thought that he plays in a punk band. He’s a bassist, but he probably does the occasional vocal feature, too. This means his fingertips are callused when they brush against yours mmm 👀

One time you come over when Narancia’s running late and Abbacchio is in the basement/the garage/whatever practicing with his band. When he lets you in, he tells you his brother isn’t home but that you’re welcome to hang while they practice. (You start coming over early now and then just for an excuse to watch)

Usually Leone shrugs off compliments about his playing, but when he asks, “so, what did you think, [bella/bello]?” And you excitedly tell him how great the band sounds, “and you especially!” he can’t help grinning and even blushing a bit.

Unbeknownst to you, his bandmates tease him ruthlessly because he always brushes off any groupies who try to flirt with him or compliment his music, yet here he is asking what you think of their songs, suggesting that you come check out their shows, even reaching around your back to guide your hands as he shows you how to play a few chords on his bass. And Abbacchio never lets anyone touch his bass.

“Like this, see? You want your fingers curved a bit over the fretboard, like this… yeah, exactly.” Seriously, Abbacchio repositioning and guiding your fingers, coaxing them to bend the right way with his steady hands as you feel his warm breath on your neck when he laughs. Fuck.

Sometimes the others will ask if his [girlfriend/boyfriend] is coming to practice to watch him blush as he snaps that he doesn’t know what they’re talking about because you aren’t dating.

Leone makes it a goal to flirt with you and sneak little looks or touches when Narancia’s back is turned, and it drives you crazy. It’s almost a little game to him to get you breathless and watch you blush

He has to get by you in the kitchen? His hand will linger on your waist and give a little squeeze. Sometimes he’ll scoot behind you in tighter spaces so he’s pressed right up against your ass for a moment

You feel zero remorse then when you wear something more revealing or do your makeup in a way that catches his eye.

“You look…. Really good today, [y/n]”

“Ew, gross, Leone, [he’s/she’s/they’re] too young for you!” “Shut up.” You blush as you tell Narancia that it's fine, really, and it was actually pretty sweet.

Play fighting for the “good” video game controller, Abbacchio using his long arms to hold it high over your head as you climb into his lap without even thinking to get a better reach. Suddenly you’re both much more focused on the compromising position, you straddling him and your faces inches apart. You stare at each other for a beat or two before you hear Narancia coming back in and shimmy off his lap. You get your ass kicked in whatever you’re playing because your brain is still rebooting from whatever the hell just happened.

You start shivering during a movie night and try to act like you’re not cold? He’s trying to act casual as he rolls his eyes and offers part of the blanket he’s using with a gruff “here.” You scoot closer to snuggle up under the blanket, but you’re more focused on the smell of his cologne and his shampoo than the movie now.

Bonus points if you end up in a really close position as you both get comfy and sleepy. Your head lolling onto his chest as you blink groggily and swear that you’re not sleepy? Excellent. Narancia will tease you if you fall asleep on each other. Expect photos.

If you show up to one of Abbacchio's shows? Pushing your way to the front row wearing some cute alt/punk look? God his heart is gonna stop right there

If he has a vocal feature on anything they’re playing that night, he will be singing straight to you.

Maybe, just maybe, he seeks you out after their set, pinning you up against the wall and making out with you. He gets black lipstick smeared all over you

Before you both sit down and talk about what it actually is you’re both doing and feeling, expect a few makeout sessions when Narancia isn’t home— Abbacchio pulling you into his lap and kissing you breathless.

When you eventually do tell Narancia you might be interested in Leone and you think he might feel the same, your friend just rolls his eyes. “Finally. Now you two can stop eye fucking across the room, it’s disgusting.”

But he’s smiling when he says that and he’s seriously happy for you guys. Once he’s certain of his brother’s intentions towards you, he’s entirely on board. You’re two of his favorite people in the world, and as long as you’re good to each other and you’re both happy, it’s fine by him

Once you’re officially dating, Abbacchio makes sure to get a good luck kiss from you before every concert.

Anyway, I wish I could draw because Abbacchio wearing ripped up black jeans with a chain or two… punk bassist Abbacchio who has plenty of piercings, maybe even a tongue piercing? He lives in my brain rent free and I want to make it everyone’s problem because I refuse to thirst alone