#seriously what is wrong with my subconscious

[gregortime]

I had a dream last night I was ordering Chinese food at a place that basically shoved everything you could fit in a huge ziplock bag (like a gallon sized bag)

You had your rice, chicken, beef, and then other toppings like veggies, watermelon (with the rind) and then just flat out Adderall. Yes you could have Adderall in your kung pow chicken bag.

Best of all, they were shaped like "zotz" so they had to manually unwrap all of these things by hand to load them in.

[chuluoyi]

✎ daddy-to-be

- gojo satoru x reader

in which you're worried about how he'd react to you carrying his baby

genre: fluff and comfort, mentions of pregnancy and dizzy spells

note: i feel soooo warm writing this *sigh* thank u anon who asked this!

a part of gojo's love entries

general masterlist

"Gojo-sensei! Must we do this?"

"For real?!"

"Okaka..."

"Yoohoo! Hehehehe~"

You sighed at the sight of your tall paintbrush of a husband. Satoru was supposedly teaching his first years—Maki, Panda and Inumaki—and yet, from where you were standing, it looked more like he was bullying them into following his whims more than anything.

A kind reminder that… this silly man is the father of your unborn child.

He didn't know that you were pregnant yet, because you had discovered it just a few days ago and chosen to keep it a secret for the time being.

In theory, this was normal. You two were married and engaged in a high level of sexual activity—something Satoru made sure of—and therefore, conceiving a child was bound to happen sooner or later.

Admittedly, accepting the fact that you were carrying his baby wasn't as easy as you thought, even knowing that. You hadn't seriously talked about having kids, and sure, your husband might have just taken a young cursed boy Yuta into his care—and way before that, Megumi, but it wasn't the same with your own child. It can't be the same.

And not to mention that you two were jujutsu sorcerers. Where would raising a baby fit in this bloody, cursed world you lived in?

...and above all, as things stand now, does Satoru even want a baby?

You released another sigh as you walked away, but then your vision tipped and you had to grab the wall for support. Right, you hadn't even been feeling well these past few days. You got queasy easily, and you experienced sporadic bouts of vertigo too.

"Sensei?" Yuta's worried voice greeted you, and you forced yourself to remain upright. "Are you okay?"

"Ah, yes, I'm fine," you assured him with a smile.

"Should I get Gojo-sensei? You seem pale..."

"No, no, that's—"

"Ooh~ Wifey!"

You cursed his impeccable timing as the striking white hair of your husband came to view. A mischievous grin adorned his face, a bundle of sunshine and trouble as always, as he wrapped an arm around you.

"Don't you have to teach the second years? My pretty wife, you can't be slacking—"

His smile abruptly fell when you subconsciously leaned on him and he noticed your shallow breaths. Satoru promptly tightened his grip on you.

"Yuta," his tone had taken a sharper turn. "Go to the training grounds and train with the others. Class ends after that."

As Yuta nodded and proceeded on his way, he immediately turned to face you. "What's wrong?" he asked with genuine concern. "Are you not feeling well? Can you walk?"

"I'm fine," you insisted, even though the edges of your vision started to blur.

Satoru pursed his lips, and you could tell even with his blindfold on, he was staring at you hard. "Don't be stubborn. Come on, let's get you home."

In an instant, he teleported you back to your shared home, his arms securely under your knees. You didn't know when the dizziness started to ramp up, but you were sure to fall if he didn't have a secure grip on you.

"How long have you been feeling unwell?" he inquired as he carefully lowered you onto your bed.

Realizing there was no point in hiding it any longer, you squeezed your eyes shut as your head rested on the soft pillow. "...since this morning."

Satoru expressed his dissatisfaction with a grunt. "In that case, you shouldn't have gone to school. From now on, you're on leave."

He fussed over you—removing your shoes, fine-tuning the air conditioner, and ensuring you were snug in bed. "What is causing you to feel this bad? Is it something you ate? We had dinner together, and I feel perfectly fine..."

You raised your gaze to him just as he tore off his blindfold, his eyes locking with yours. The blue of his eyes scrutinizing and assessing you, and suddenly, you felt insecure as he quirked an eyebrow, seemingly suspecting something. “Is there something you aren't telling me?”

This is it. You couldn't keep this from him any longer. This was his child as much as yours, he had to know for you to be able to decide on the next steps.

You exhaled. "I'm… pregnant."

Silence. For the next five seconds, you could've sworn that Satoru held his own breath.

"Pregnant?" he repeated, stunned, widened cerulean marbles blinking several times. "You...?"

You sat up, reaching for your nightstand and retrieving the five pregnancy tests you had stashed in the drawer, handing them to him.

Satoru fixed his gaze onto the two red lines on the sticks, examining them and then shifting his eyes between you and them several times. You didn't dare to look at him, feeling your hands starting to shake and your gut twisting.

But contrary to your dread, before you could blink, he pulled you into his embrace. Your heart melted as he softly murmured, "Dummy, why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I... I was worried. I didn't think I..."

He nuzzled into your neck, breathing in deeply. "Silly... I'm supposed to be your safe space. You can and absolutely should tell me these kind of things..."

A lingering fear persisted in your gut as you croaked out, "Are you... okay with it?"

Satoru snapped his head so quickly, his brow furrowed. "What do you mean—of course I am! Why wouldn't I be?"

You didn't know why, but his impromptu and steadfast declaration brought tears to your eyes.

"Stupid," he chided, his voice tinged with slight giddiness and overflowing fondness, and doubled with the wide grin on his face, you were starstruck. Holding your hand, he pressed a tender kiss on your knuckles, and then on the wedding band resting on your ring finger.

His sincere, warm eyes spoke volumes as he said, "You are my beautiful, lovely, and amazing wife. And now you're about to make me a daddy. Why wouldn't I be thrilled about that?"

You had given him love that saved him in countless ways, some of which you might not even realize. And now, you were about to gift him another piece of you to love—his own family to cherish. Satoru was convinced he couldn't love you more than he did in this moment.

You cried even harder, wiping your face sloppily as you pouted at him, voice clogged with tears, a mixture of relief and happiness overwhelming you. "Why are you so s-sweet? You're u-usually... such a menace..."

"Hey! That's slander! I'm always nice to you!" he protested with a mock frown, trying to lighten the mood.

Satoru brought you into his arms again, affectionately stroking your hair. His excitement was palpable as he chuckled gleefully at the very idea of becoming a father to a mini-him or you in a not-so-distant future.

With that sentiment in mind, he genuinely meant every word of what he softly uttered in your ear:

"I love you, sweetheart. And mark my words—with everything I have, I won't let anything happen to you or our baby… I swear it."

[finsplurtz]

Dude idk how to explain it but there’s smth about ur fics i love….if ur taking requests can u do one for yuuji? Hes kinda dumb and he was basically a jock before he got into jujutsu tech so one with some corruption kink?

— thankuu I’m glad u enjoy my writings, I try my best. Hope you enjoy this one too<3

dumb slut — yuuji.itadori

— dom ! male.reader x sub ! Yuuji Itadori

— contents : dumb yuuji (I love him) , corruption kink , virgin yuuji , is called a slut like once , overstim , creampie….if u rlly think abt it , passing out nd yeah.. mb if i got smth wrong

warnings : virginity loss erm think not much of a warning… blud is aged up btw

✩°｡ ⋆⸜ 🎧✮

You stared down at the pink haired guy with a confused look. … did he seriously not get the hint..?

You’ve been flirting and sending hints that you wanna sleep with him. At some point you almost gave up and thought maybe he was playing stupid to not hurt your feelings or something, but no he’s really clueless.

Something about that made you feel excited.

Yuji was popular, he’s surrounded by girls, you were 100% sure he knew about the wonders of sex.

“Uh.. you know what, we should hang out after school. My house. Just us two” you smile knowing he couldn’t turn you down.

There wasn’t any special occasion, you just wanted to hang out like friends and down a couple drinks. That’s what he thought at least.

For most of the afternoon you guys were laughing and talking about anything and everything, Yuji’s a lightweight so the littlest alcohol already had him fucked up.

“Ahh…Yuji tell me, any girls you’ve been with?” You ask taking a swig of the alcoholic drink.

“Hmm…. I’ve had like 3 or 4 girlfriends.. you?” You let out a small chuckle.

“I’ve had some yeah, I mean girls you’ve slept with..” you tilt your head looking into his eyes, god was he cute..

“Uhm……no I’ve never..” he flushed looking off to the side. You got closer and placed you’re hand over his thigh.

“It’s okay..I don’t judge….but god does it feel good” you glance at his lips and he stutters trying to move away.

“Y-yeah..? I mean y..yeah I’ve heard..”

“I can show you, yuuji..” you get closer and closer to his lip, he closes his eyes tightly and you quickly stuff your tongue in his hot mouth.

He tightly grabs onto your shirt, his tongue so stiff it kinda makes you laugh.

You quickly dig your hands into his pants and roughly stroke his dick making him moan in your mouth.

“Augn-! Mmphh…~” He tries to pull your hand off but it feel so good, he can’t bring himself to pry you off, instead his hips subconsciously start thrusting into your hand.

“..like it..?” You pull away looking into his glossy eyes, he shakes his head no and tries squirming away.

“Mm…I know you like it..feels good doesn’t it..~? I can show you something that’ll feel even better…” he looks at you with wide eyes and a red face.

.

.

“OHH FUCK- ACK—“ Yuuji scratched his stained bedsheets as you pounded into his used up hole. His lips were red and slightly busted from how much he was biting them, he felt sticky and sweaty but he was addicted.

“D..did you cum again..?” You said, panting like a dog. You had felt him tighten around you causing you to groan and dig your fingers into his plush skin.

“Ugh….aren’t you..tired..?” He turned around and he almost had hearts in his eyes. He smirked as best as he could and moved himself on your cock letting out more whorish moans.

“Holy shit..? Have I turned you into a complete slut for dick??” You laugh and wrap your hand around his throat bringing his back up against your chest.

“S..so full..! Nngh….HA—“ He screamed feeling you harshly thrust in him again, cum being pushed out of his gaping hole.

“T-TOO MUCH S..STOP Y-YN~!!” He saw sparks as he came one more time at the feeling of your hot cum pumping him again, his thighs trembled and he fell forward, completely passing out.

You watched your seed peek out of his hole making you twitch.

You ended up passing out next to him for the whole day. In the morning you woke up to your cock being slowly stroked..

You slowly open your eyes to find Yuuji straddling you and aligning your tip to his wet entrance.

“Just…one more time..”

a/n; did i slack off? a little yeah…..

[shoyudon]

dad!choso is on my mind. he’d be the sweetest husband/father to-be. i just know he’d hold our hand the entire time and say things like “i wish i could take this pain away from you.”

𝐌𝐀𝐌𝐀'𝐒 𝐁𝐎𝐘 .ᐟ

keeping up with the choso family

starring. choso x fem! reader

heads up. pregnancy, giving birth, you're in you're 20s during shibuya (around nanami's age), all information are from research.

note. NONNIE, FIRST OF ALL YES. I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS??? i just know he'd cry during every one of these moments, i'm gonna sob, i miss him so much.

the first time choso met you, he didn't know you'd be his life companion. pushing aside at the fact that you both were enemies at first, being a jujutsu sorcerer assigned to shibuya wasn't really the best circumstances for first meetings — which practically didn't happen smoothly.

long story short, he actually hurts you with his blood manipulation. not enough to kill you, but enough to consider it a 'medical emergency'. he is really sorry about it though; when he saw you protect yuuji despite your injuries, he just knew he had to have you.

choso made it clear that he regretted hurting you — especially when his technique left a scar on your skin. specifically on your shoulder, and your lower abdomen. occasionally pressing his lips onto your scars, the vivid drawings of your stitches still embedded into your skin.

"'m sorry . . ." choso whispers out into your skin, burying his face into your stomach as you both lay down on the bed. once again, he was feeling apologetic for hurting you more than a year ago. every day after shibuya, he was busy apologizing to you for hurting you.

"cho, that was what . . ? more than a year ago? you need to stop apologizing, baby," raking your fingers through his hair, he sighs out in content, leaning his cheek onto your stomach — his arms draped around your thighs.

when he asks you to marry him, he subconsciously did it because he panicked. choso had it all planned for a whole month, and managed to ruin it in three minutes on the day he was going to propose to you because you were just so captivating, he just lost all senses of everything he practiced.

"please, marry me," choso blurts out, his mind going one hundred miles per second — he wasn't even sure if he was conscious at that point, "i love you so much and i can't think of my life without you, please marry me," he whispers, squeezing your hand gently.

choso actually got help from everyone on what to say and what to do, which all went down to drain when he decided to use his heart to propose to you. and it worked out well anyways, "seriously? i'm gonna cry," you fanned your eyes.

believe me when i said that choso was on the edge of his seat, waiting for your answer. when you exclaimed out a happy and tearful, "yes!", he could finally breathe out in relief, raising your hand up to his lips in happiness, slipping the ring he even forgot for a second.

choso actually told himself that he wouldn't cry during his own wedding. months before the reception — he finds himself watching wedding videos and happily kicking his feet at the sight of the groom crying, he believed he wouldn't, because he's seen you everyday. right? right?

wrong. the moment the tall doors opened and there you started walking down the aisle slowly, choso felt overwhelmed at the fact that he was getting married to you, and you were getting married to him. he swore if it wasn't for yuuji, he would be laying down in front of the whole guest list, crying on the ground.

he stood there, instinctively wiping his tears — that were never-ending, and god, you looked so beautiful that all he could see was you. choso felt like it was just you and him at that moment, no guest, no yuuji, just you.

after the ceremony, choso just wanted to go back home and if it weren't for you telling him to wait until everyone goes home, he'd technically kidnap his own wife and bring her back to their home. with a pout and a long face, he greets the guest with you, hand in yours like a little child who didn't get what they want.

"can we go back home now? my legs are killing me," he whispers, squeezing your hand, tugging you towards him, "jus' leave them, they're eating the night away . . ."

"let's wait until everyone goes home, okay?" you tell him. almost wanting to laugh at the sight of his fake offended gasp right after, choso didn't complain anyways — nodding his head as you tugged him towards a group of people to greet them.

when you both got home after a long day, choso immediately headed for the bedroom, tossing himself onto the bed, white shirt wrinkled and his tie messily pulled towards one side. eyelids half closed.

"cho, you know you have to shower before you sleep. you stink."

"mmm . . . wanna sleep," he moans out into the pillow, reaching his hand out to you in an attempt to bring you onto the bed, which did not work since you were too busy wiping off your makeup, "can't we just shower tomorrow? 'm so tired."

choso's never really thought about having kids. he didn't know how to take care of kids, nor how to react with kids. for some reason, the universe though — seemed to have bless him with a wave of "baby fever" one and a half year into the marriage. watching videos of random babies from all over the world doing baby things, and he felt his heart flutter at the sight.

that was when he knew, he wanted a family with you. technically, the two of you were already a family the moment you both got married — but he wanted an addition to your small family. a child.

he didn't really know how to break the fact that he wanted a baby with you, and so he tried subtle ways to do so. showing you baby videos, telling you how cute your kids would be, even pointing at baby shoes or onesies when you both go out.

by that point, you'd caught on to his little scheme, "why're you talking about kids a lot? baby shoes, baby onesies, baby videos, baby this, baby that," you informed him, threading your fingers through his hair as he laid his head on your lap.

"wan' a baby."

so when you broke the news that you were bearing his child, he cried. and by cry — i mean bawled out like a baby. clinging to you, overwhelmed at the fact that he was going to have a child with you, he was actually going to have a little family of his own.

just a few days after the news, he'd grown a lot more protective of your wellbeing. asking here and there about what you could and couldn't eat, or what might harm the growing baby inside you. searching here and there.

during your first trimester, more precisely, during your fifth week; the cravings began getting heavy and wonky. despite all that, choso still indulged in your cravings. hell, he even had to try some because he couldn't say no to you when you tried to share with him.

peanut butter and salmon sashimi, pickle juice with honey, cream cheese and fried chicken, ramen soup popsicles, bacon and toothpaste, milk and ramen seasoning, and more of those odd combinations. choso never did complain even once, if you wanted to eat something at three am, he'd run out and go find some no matter what — you were carrying his child, and he figured that was the least he could do for you.

"taste good, baby?" choso asks you, swiping his fingertips over the cream cheese spread on the corner of your lips.

nodding vigorously, you brought the half-eaten fried chicken messily dipped in the thick and white cream cheese spread — eyes shining brightly, as if asking him to try some with you. blinking in surprise, he took a bite. definitely a weird experience for him, and it was one of the oddest combination of food he had ever tried.

"'ts funny, but it's not bad," he swallowed after chewing the chicken a few times; reaching for the glass of water by the nightstand.

throughout your pregnancy, choso made sure to spoil you with a lot of things. the doll you looked at for a split second while the both of you ventured into the mall, the food he sees you browsing through his phone or your phone, tucking you in bed using the pillow he bought for pregnant women, and the feet massages for you everyday.

"where are you going?" choso asks, rubbing his eyes in exhaustion. the dark spots under his eyes were getting darker every time — it was obvious the changes in his life had made it, but choso was more than enlightened to do it for you.

"want to drink," you whisper, letting out a cute incoherent noise as you tried to roll off the mattress.

choso was quick to hold you back, tucking you inside the bundle of covers, "i'll get it for you, stay here, okay?" he whispers, hopping off the bed to fetch you a glass of water — choso didn't want to keep you waiting, running off to the kitchen and fetching you a glass of water topped with a lot of ice cubes; something he noticed you'd chew on a lot ever since you got pregnant.

"here you go," he walks back carefully, handing you the water, pinching the skin on your nap gently as he watches you gobble the water down, parting your lips to pop in an ice cube or two.

nearing your due date, specifically just a few days after the 37th week — the contractions started. it was the ninth month, and it was expected. choso heard your hushed whimpers in his sleep, he would probably guess it was at dawn, probably around four? he didn't even bother checking on the time because all he cared was you.

he was barely awake, kicking off the covers and helping you. ushering you to slowly breathe in and out, his hand rubbing soothing circles on the hollow of your back. choso figured that he wanted you and the unborn child to be safe, and so he decided to bring you to the hospital where the experts are.

choso was worried beyond anyone else; even you. constantly staying by your side, his hair disheveled; a few strands going the opposite way, and tangled with each other. he laid his head down on the mattress, by your hand. choso laid his hand on your belly, rubbing against the cloth gently to ease the pain from the contractions.

at the early stage of labor, you were feeling cramps and an intense backache — which choso helped you through. he was glad he brought you to the hospital because not long after, your water broke. and he was there to help you through it all, clutching onto your hand as if he was holding on for dear life.

everything that the doctors or the nurses do, he felt his heart beat a notch quicker than earlier. choso was afraid, and he wasn't really afraid to admit it — i mean, you're his wife and you were carrying his child. he didn't want anything to happen to the both of you.

choso heard the doctor explain to him about what was going to happen, but everything that came in from his left ear exits through his right. he could barely remember anything because through out the explanation, he was too busy caring for you throughout the contractions that had grew a bit more intense during your active labor.

he hated everything inside the delivery room. it smelt like blood — choso was used to blood. but he didn't like it when it came from you, his heart drumming against his chest as he felt your grip tightened on his hand. frankly, he could care less if he broke a few bones as long as you and the baby were both okay.

choso hated seeing you in pain, even while delivering his baby. he didn't blame the baby, of course; he just wishes he could do something and take away the pain from you, latching his lips onto your sweat painted forehead. salty. he could taste your sweat against his lips, and despite that, he still refused to move.

"wish i could jus' take away the pain away from you, y/n," he whispers — hearing your pained grunt, your eyes glazed with fresh tears. and he kissed them away, whispering sweet nothings into your ears.

telling you it was just a bit more until you could see your baby, how proud he is of you, how much he loves you, how much he wished he could take away your pain, everything he felt in his heart at that moment all poured out into hushed whispers.

when the first cry of your baby echoed inside the rowdy delivery room, choso cried. he looked down at you, cradling your face in his hands, singing out, "good job, good job. 'm so proud of you, i love you so much."

the baby's a beautiful baby boy.

choso didn't want to hold the baby first as much as he wanted to — he felt like you deserved to touch the baby first after risking your life to birth him. and so he told the nurse to let you at least see the baby first, he refused to carry his son until you, his wife, touched him first; whether using your hands or any part of your body.

he stared in awe when the baby's loud cry eventually stopped when the nurse brought him to you, letting you coo at your own newborn son. his tears freely dropping, rubbing circles onto the back of your hand.

when the nurse asked him to have skin-to-skin contact, choso was nervous. what if he dropped his son? what if his son doesn't like him? what if his son doesn't like the way his skin feels? so many out of the box questions that didn't need to be answered were roaming in his mind.

as he slowly cradled his son, he blinked back the second round of tears that had threatened to fall. the light blue beanie stuck to his son's head seeped with a few drops of tears, leaning down to press his lips onto the baby's skin a few times. introducing himself as the baby's father and how happy he is to be one,

daichi l/n. that's the baby's name — it meant great first son. the both of you felt that it was a suitable name for your first baby.

choso slept on the small couch inside the hospital room during your healing week, in the middle of both you and him was daichi's small basinet where he slept soundly. he made sure to knock himself awake every now and then to check after both you and daichi.

when the hospital permitted you to go home, you completely relied on choso on heavy things — which you didn't even have to ask, he was already doing it for you. daichi gets a bit fussy at night, and choso always tells you to go back to sleep and that he'd handle the baby.

"you know, you're really noisy, right? mama's really worried about you," he gently poked the baby's cheek with his thumb as he cradled the small bundle of life affectionately, singing out a lullaby he remembered you singing to him years ago.

choso never knew he had a knack on changing diapers until you were occupied, and he had to change daichi's diaper. turns out he was really good at it, and from that day on — he's also told you that he got it. your body was still sore from delivery, and so everything around the house was mostly done by choso under your watch.

although choso's been the one taking care of daichi, he could definitely see how much the baby's turning out to be a big mama's boy even at a few months old. he noticed how daichi would only let you burp him, or sometimes daichi would get fussy when he felt choso raising him up during early mornings until you had to do it.

he didn't care. he wasn't jealous, daichi's still his son and he was glad that daichi loved you a little more than him. he'd like it if his baby prioritizes you first before him.

being a father is a great wonder to him. daichi's first word being 'mama', and his first steps was done while he was sauntering clumsily towards you. choso is such a proud father.

growing up, daichi turned out to be a big mama's boy. but still he loved choso too. now daichi lets choso carries him during mornings, and he relies on choso when something scares him while clutching onto your hand, taking small steps to hide behind choso. using his own father as a shield for him and you.

"don't worry, baby. 's just a lion in the screen, dada will protect us," you scooped the boy into your arms, pointing at the screen where a lion and its cub are walking.

"mmm. dada will protect you both," choso chimes in, ruffling daichi's thin hair.

daichi grew up loving boxing. you didn't know how he knows about it, but at the very next second, he was pestering choso to teach him boxing. and choso dreaded this because what was his son going to do at four years of age in pre-school with boxing? was he going to use it on his teachers? or his friends?

"no . . . maybe when you're older," choso's always said that, patting daichi's head as he does.

daichi whined every single time, but managed to forget when he saw some people drawing on TV. choso once again being a victim of his own son's pleading for some drawing lessons. as a father, choso of course accompanied daichi during his draw sessions in the living room right after the kid comes back from pre-school.

sometimes choso would draw too, having a little competition with his own son. which daichi mostly won — but at the same time, choso never complained about his loss. he was always proud of daichi.

"look, look mama! this is you, this is daichi, and this is dada!" daichi announces, pointing at every aspect of his drawing, explaining to you.

and to the fridge the drawing goes.

when daichi graduated pre-school, choso again, cried. taking pictures using the camera he had asked you to teach him how beforehand, and the pictures weren't the nicest. most of them being a blur of daichi walking down the stage with his small cap, waving his little hand to the camera.

choso was so proud of his son, of you, of himself. looking back— he's realized how far he had come despite not having to expect all of this. a loving wife. a son. a family.

choso was just glad he had his own little family now with you and his son. although . . . he wouldn't mind having another addition to the small community.

© shoyudon 2024 . no copying or reposting allowed !

[feyascorner]

okay first of all i ADORE ur writing… wanna take a bite out of it..

anyway… uh… can i uhh… order a uhh…. astarion x tav.. and like..tav has a fucking insane pain tolerance and always has.. and like… uhh… one time she gets fucking TOTALED in a fight and like obvi it would hurt… and shes like crying subconsciously.. and when some1 points it out shes like “what???? why am i crying wtf???” and like looks down and is just fucking BLEEDING… n then.. astarion comfort…

only if u want thoo!!!!

a/n. Im like the exact opposite I'm very dramatic about the slightest pain but this is such a cute request so Ty!! ALSO PLS EXCUSE IF THIS IS A LITTLE CLUNKY I HAD TO TYPE THIS OUT W MY FINGERS🫠🫠

Astarion is grateful for your tolerance to pain.

Of course, he doesn't particularly enjoy watching you in pain, but he’s no fool. He knows the sting and the soreness that comes after he drinks from your neck. Well, at least, it should sting. However, it never seemed to bother you, and for that, he's forever grateful for it.

These strange sentiments expand past his thirst for blood, as the relief he feels when you’re battered up after a battle and you smile at him as if nothing’s wrong is incomparable to any other feeling he’s felt.

That relief does not come currently, however.

The battle was nearly hopeless. Overwhelmed in number, mages casting counterspell, fighters constantly aiming at you…he’s lost track of it all. By some miracle you and your companions stand victorious, and when he sees that you offer Karlach a lopsided smile, confirming that you're fine, he reaches to pick up one of his daggers.

“Tav—what in the hells, are you okay?”

It’s then that he spots the way your lip quivers and tears glisten threateningly at your eyes. And when you meet his own, they begin to drip down your cheeks like crystals and roll off your chin. He's seen you in tears before, but out of something more positive—not from pain. Before he can even tell what he's doing, he's rushing toward you.

“Why are you—” he sees the blood seeping from your stomach, and his face would've gone pale if he could.

You finally lift your hands to your face, eyes wide when your fingertips brush against the dampness of your cheeks. “Oh. Why am I?…”

Shadowheart scrambles to scrimmage around her bag. “Here, let me—gods, where did I—did we use all the healing potions?—”

“Oh for hells sake. Because you're bleeding!” Astarion hisses, his hand intertwining with yours as he drags you toward the nearest tree where he sits you down. He freezes when you flinch but you shake your head, wiping at your eyes. Your other companions are still searching the enemy corpses for anything that might relieve you of the pain, but they're taking far too long for his liking.

“I’m okay, it doesn't really hurt that much.”

“You’re crying.”

“I didn't even know I was-” you wince.

His eyes narrow. “Lay down.”

“What? No, I’m really fine!”

“Gods, love, please for once, listen to me. It’s quite straining to watch you clamber around with that ghastly wound on your stomach.”

You frown, but he guides you down anyway, careful to lay down your head against the grass. “Now wait patiently. Maybe if we’re lucky, our dear friends will find a potion before I start developing wrinkles.”

A momentary silence hangs in the air. It’s by no means uncomfortable, but there are words on the tip of his tongue he wishes to say. And when he notices you staring, he sighs.

“If you're hurt, tell us. I don't care how high your pain tolerance is—if you're hurt, call us. Call me. Don't be a fool and bleed out over a few enemies when we’ve been through so much worse.”

The sincerity in his voice is almost embarrassing. But with the way you're watching him so seriously, he can't bring himself to dwell on such irrelevant factors.

Then, you smile again, as if you've forgotten about the pain. “How minor can the pain be for me to call you?”

“What kind of question is that?”

“Can I call you when I stub a toe?”

“Absolutely not.”

“I will.”

He stares at you with lidded eyes and you laugh. He feels the weight on his shoulders get a bit lighter.

“You may call for me whenever you wish.”

[bbyleiah]

breakfast.

| part 2 to smoke-you-out for you thirsty hoes 😭 reader folds and sleeps with Eren again after they bicker a little because the reader is ‘regretful’ about her mistakes, Eren is obsessed with reader. |

cw: smut, cheating, bf!Connie, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, pussy slapping, spit, fluids, squirting, unprotected sex, missionary position, creampie, scratching, hair pulling, pet names, lots of dirty talk (bc eren a chatterbox 😭), overstimulation, crying, desperate eren ‘just the tip’, whimpering, biting, pwp, etc. ( plenty of plot though ☝🏽😭) fem! sub reader, dom! Eren. reader is black.

Word Count : long asab 😭

sn : thank y’all so much for all the love fr 🫶🏽

part 3 : all-yours <3

You woke up in a bright room, stretching and groaning as consciousness spread over you. Your body was very sore and you felt drained. You took in your surroundings as you sat up, wrapped in white sheets on a large bed. The room was extremely nice and tidy, and it looked as if you were in some kind of mansion with the large windows on the side of the room.

Panic began to take over you once you realized you weren’t at home though and once you remembered the events of last night you were starting to feel sick. “no no no no..” You said on a mantra while shaking your head as if that would change things. To interrupt your distress, Eren came out his bathroom looking like a wet dream. His hair was down, damp and falling over his shoulders and he was shirtless, only wearing pajama pants that hung low on his hips showing off his happy trail and the band of his briefs.

“Goodmorning little one.” Eren hummed casually as if you weren’t on the verge of losing your mind. You stared at him in awe, still processing everything while subconsciously gawking at his appearance. “You might start drooling if you keep your mouth open forever sweetheart.” He chuckled breaking you out of your trance.

You blushed and instantly shut your mouth that you didn’t realize was gaping open as you stared at Eren. You held the sheets closer to your body even though you were clothed in what seemed to be one of Eren’s t-shirts judging by how big it was on you. “Uhm…this was a mistake. Last night was a mistake. This should’ve never happened. Oh my god…Connie will never forgive me. I can’t believe I cheated on him.” You began to ramble. “Why did you let that happen?? You’re his bestfriend!”You said to Eren.

“Woah, don’t go blaming me sweetheart. You’re his ‘loyal girlfriend’ as you said last night. I asked you if you wanted it and you said you did so don’t make it seem like I coerced you or something. Plus I never gave a fuck about your relationship anyways. You were mine from the moment I saw you.” He said seriously as he looked at you.

You stared at him in disbelief, “I am not yours! You’re a terrible bestfriend by the way. Who sleeps with their bestfriend’s girlfriend?!” You exclaimed. “And who the hell sleeps with their boyfriend’s bestfriend?” He shot back. You opened your mouth to respond but there was really nothing you could say to that. You were the one more in the wrong in this situation. “Mhm exactly, so quiet now little one.” he hummed. “Shut up Eren” You muttered.

“I told you that you’d regret it more than me.” Eren shrugged. “I do regret it…a lot. We should never see each other again. If me and you both just forget about it then Connie won’t ever have to know.” You said as you found your phone, seeing that you had tons of missed calls and texts from your boyfriend. “Mhm yeah, what do you want for breakfast?” He asked you as if he didn’t hear anything you just said.

“Excuse me?” You said as you looked back up at him. “I asked what do you want for breakfast?.” He repeated. “Eren I’m not eating breakfast with you. Are you crazy?”

You said, not understanding why he wasn’t more pressed about this situation. “I’m not crazy, and you’re not ditching me to go back to Connie. Now answer my question.” He said, and you realized he was dead serious.

“I’m not hungry Eren…eat by yourself.” You said while shaking your head before you focused your attention back on your phone so you could text Connie back. “I wanna eat you though.” He said seriously with a hum. Your eyes widened at his words and you instinctively closed your legs. “Eren..no. Don’t talk like that.” You said, getting deja vu from your own words.

“Don’t talk like that~” Eren mocked you. “You love saying that, don’t you?. You love it when I talk like that though. Makes your little pussy all gushy and wet.” He said with a grin as he stared into your eyes. You almost let out a whine but you held it back, your face flushed at his words. “I-It does not!” You defended. He chuckled, “I guarantee you’re wet right now baby.” He said, highly amused as your denial.

He was unfortunately right but that didn’t mean you were gonna admit it. “You’re delusional!” You huffed as you blushed. “Only over you baby” he said teasingly with a wink, leaving you baffled at his shamelessness. “I’m serious though sweet girl, I’m craving you soo bad. I want you to squirt on my tongue just like you did on my dick last night. Won’t you be a good girl and do that for me?” He said, talking in that sickly sweet tone that made your head fuzzy.

“Eren…” you whined and shook your head. He somehow managed to put you in a spell with his words everytime. His attention and his filthy sweet words making you want to give in and spread your legs for him whenever he wanted. “Aw baby, you want it too don’t you?. You can be good for me just like you were last night.” He hummed, using his teeth to take the hair tie off his wrist and holding it in his mouth as he began to tie his hair up.

You couldn’t take your eyes off him. The act of him tying his hair up, seemingly getting prepped for his ‘meal’ was getting you excited. Your thighs clenching together as your panties became more wet by the second, anticipation building for Eren to act on his lewd words. “You’re giving me that look again sweetheart.” Eren grinned as he walked closer to the bed, towering over your form.

You blushed in embarrassment at his words, it’s not like you could control how you looked at the man but he didn’t have to call it out. “You don’t even realize how slutty that look is do you?. All fucking needy, eyes begging for me to ruin you and make you my pretty little whore. Do you look at Connie like that?” Eren taunted. “I bet you don’t. He can’t fuck you like I do, right sweetheart?. I got you all desperate for me and I haven’t even touched you yet pretty girl.” He continued.

You couldn’t even hold back your whines anymore at his words. The more he spoke the more you wanted him to touch you, to devour you, to make a complete mess out of you. You wanted to stay strong on your morals to not sleep with Eren again but god he sure was making it hard as fuck. “W-We’re not doing this again..” you breathed out.

Eren faux pouted dramatically at your words, “You’re breaking my heart baby.” He tsked while shaking his head as he climbed onto the bed, inching closer to you and pulling the sheets off you. “You really don’t want me baby?” He asked as he looked up into your eyes, his hands easing up your thighs, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

You bit your lip, contemplating how to respond. It wasn’t that you didn’t want Eren, the problem was that you did want him, very badly at that. But this was wrong, but it also felt so right. Your thighs instinctively began to part as Eren began to kiss up them gently, humming in approval the more your legs spread. “I still need an answer sweet girl~” Eren reminded you.

You let out a shaky breath, “I do want you…but this is the last time! No more after this Eren! I’m serious.” You declared, although you barely believed your own words. He chuckled, “Mhm, we’ll see about that. Love having my good girl back though.” He grinned as he sat up and wrapped his hands around your ankles.

You shrieked as he suddenly pulled you by your ankles, making you lay flat on your back. He was quick to get back in between your legs, wrapping his arms around your thighs as he pressed his nose against your clothed wet cunt. Your panties already completely soaked through from Eren’s words alone.

Eren groaned as he inhaled your scent, his eyes rolling back a little “smells so fucking good..you’re like a drug little one. My favorite kind of fucking drug. Can’t get enough..” he rasped before he ran his tongue along the sticky fabric of your panties. You whined out starting to squirm in Eren’s hold, he only gripped you tighter, his fingers digging painfully into your thighs.

“Don’t fucking move or I promise I won’t be as nice little one. I’m trying to have a meal remember? It’s rude to take someone’s food.” He said as he looked up at you with that same ravenous look he had the night before. That look made you fold instantly, making you want to be the good obedient girl Eren adored so much. You nodded at his words, “I-I’ll stay still~” You muttered out.

He smiled, “Good girl. Always so good for me.” He praised happily before he placed a gentle kiss on your clit, he grazed his teeth on it sending shivers down your spine. You swooned at his praise, it causing those little flutters in your stomach that you craved from his approval. Eren didn’t even warn you before he tore your panties, disposing them off on the floor somewhere. You gasped in shock, “you didn’t have to rip them!” You exclaimed in disbelief.

“They were a mess anyways.” He brushed it off nonchalantly before he delve back in between your legs, immediately running his tongue through your folds tasting your slick on his palate. The two of you moaned out in sync, you falling into the pleasure and eren enjoying every second of tasting you. Eren kept his eyes trained on your face as he began to devour you messily. The lewd noises of slurping, sucking, and smacking beginning to fill the room.

Eren sucked on your clit, focusing his attention on the nub as he circled his tongue on it his spit dripping filthily onto your cunt and mixing with your slick. You were a moaning mess as eren ate your pussy like his favorite meal. Your head thrown back and your hands gripping the sheets as the intense pleasure consumed you. Eren loved the sight of you falling apart for him, it was so breathtaking. You were like a dream for him.

Your messy hair sprawled out on his white sheets, his shirt falling off your shoulder the marks he left on you the night before looking so beautiful on your brown skin, your nipples hard and peaking through the shirt, your eyes fluttered shut while you bit those pretty full lips of yours. Fuck Eren felt like he could bust a nut just from looking at you. “so good ren’..mmfph’ You whined as your back arched, feeling his tongue prod at your entrance, his nose deliciously bumping against your clit as he buried his face in your pussy.

He was already soaked in your fluids, his chin and his cheeks covered in your sweet slick mixed with some of his own drool and saliva. Eren loved it, being drowned in your sweet essence was heaven for him. He kept consistently running his tongue up your folds, back to your entrance and then up to your clit, sucking and kissing at your cute little clit every time. “I could eat you out all day sweet girl.” He groaned as he used his fingers to spread your folds, opening his mouth and allowing his spit to drip onto your creamy clenching cunt.

“such a pretty fucking pussy..” He sighed almost in complete awe at the sight of your messy cunt. He then gathered the filthy mix of fluids onto his fingers before he slid one inside you, making your breath hitch slightly. He pulled your clit between his teeth as he began to thrust his finger into you slowly, making you moan and whine out as you began to tug at his hair.

Tears brimmed your eyes at the pleasure, completely drunk on everything eren was giving you. The way eren touched your body was just so perfectly right, it’s like he knew exactly what to do to have you losing your mind. Hitting every spot that made your toes curl and your eyes roll back. It was like your body was made for him and him only.

“You’re mine, pretty baby. Isn’t that right?” He said as he slid another finger into you, curling them and increasing the pace as he licked and slurped up all your slick that was gushing out all over his hand. “Mhm! A-All yours ren’.” You moaned as the heels of your feet dug into Eren’s back, your legs resting over his shoulders. “That’s right. All fucking mine. My fucking pussy. Only I make this pussy this wet.” He declared, his possessiveness showing as his fingers repeatedly hit that spot of nerves that had you seeing stars.

Eren was so turned on just from eating you out and fingering you. His cock painfully hard and dripping precum in his pajama pants. He actually had to stop himself from pathetically rutting against the bed. Pleasuring you was the most orgasmic thing for him. He could get off just on that. Even you could see how much eren was enjoying pleasing you.

His eyes rolling occasionally as he moaned and whimpered against your pussy, his occasional ruts against the bed that he tried to stop, the way he gripped your thighs and didn’t allow you to move an inch from his face, wanting to drown between your legs forever. Your slick was coating his neck and collarbone by now and he loved it, it was so filthy and he couldn’t get enough of it.

“M’ close!” You gasped out as you felt that coil in your tummy about to burst as eren repeatedly abused that spot, your legs beginning to tremble from the stimulation as he simultaneously sucked on your clit. “Want you to make a mess all over my face little one. You can do that for me, can’t you sweetheart?” He encouraged as he sped up the pace of his fingers.

You whined and nodded, crying out and pulling harshly at Eren’s hair as you reached your climax, squirting all over Eren’s hand and his face. He moaned, slurping up as much of your juices as he could, loving the taste of you. “Always squirting so prettily for me baby.” He sighed happily as he slapped your swollen clit, slamming his hand down on it repeatedly to watch your pussy squirt and gush out more.

You cried at the overstimulation, “‘s too much! Too much ren’!” You sobbed as you squirmed. “Shh, it’s okay sweet girl~” He hummed soothingly as he placed gentle kisses on your drenched inner thighs and gently stroked your cute tummy. He then sat up and hovered over you, placing gentle pecks against your lips as he grinded his erection against your wet swollen pussy, moaning into your mouth.

You whined placing your hands against his abdomen to stop him, “sensitive ren’…” you pouted. “I know baby but..fuck just the tip princess, hm?. please, I’ll be good.” He was begging at this point but he felt like he had to be inside you right now. You blushed hearing his shameless begging and you didn’t have the heart to say no, “okay..but just the tip!” You said. Eren grinned, “thank you baby~” he kissed both your cheeks before he pulled his leaking cock out of his pajama pants.

His tip was swollen and red, precum dripping down to his balls. Eren hadn’t been this turned on ever. He rubbed his leaky tip through your messy folds before he began to push the tip in, literally shuddering at the feeling of your warm wet pussy swallowing up his tip. He did a shallow thrust, whimpering as he buried his face into your neck.

You were a whining mess, eren seemed so desperate for you, falling apart just from his tip being inside you and his pathetic state was doing something to you. You never had a man want you this badly, not even Connie was this effected by you and you were literally his girlfriend. It was an addicting feeling.

“shit I know I said only the tip but baby I need it, so badly. Please honey.” Eren begged more, you gasped seeing he had actual tears brimming his eyes as he shamelessly begged you. Eren knew he being pathetic right now but he couldn’t help it, you were just so addicting to him. He craved every inch of you. “I-It’s yours ren’, you can put the rest in~” you gave in, as you ran your fingers through his hair that was falling out from his loose bun.

“thank you baby, so sweet and good to me. So fucking perfect.” Eren moaned as he bottomed out, gripping your hips as he began to thrust into you with eagerness. His balls slapping against your ass as he roughly pounded into you. He moaned and whimpered into your ear, his quickened breathes fanning against your cheek and neck. You were so overstimulated but it felt so good, your nails dragging down Eren’s back as you cried out in immense pleasure.

“so close sweet girl. Gonna fill you up real good, have you all nicely stuffed for me.” He said breathlessly as he used your pussy like his favorite cock sleeve. His eyes moving to watch the way your pussy ate up his dick, the mixture of your fluids covering his dick and soaking his trimmed pubic hair. He began to rub circles onto your clit with his thumb, making you sob as your back arched. You came again instantly, gushing erotically on Eren’s dick.

He moaned out at the feeling of your cunt squeezing his cock as you came so beautifully, he came soon after, his warm cum filling you up and adding to the filthy mess of your fluids. He continued slow thrusts, fucking his cum into you as he kissed along your neck and collarbone. “so good, so obsessed with you, my sweet girl.” He muttered against your skin, the two of you panting breathlessly in sync.

“Mm, I’m hungry now ren’” you suddenly said, completely fucked out as you laid there and gladly soaked up all of Eren’s gentle touches and kisses. You did have an appetite now. He chuckled, “I’ll make you food baby. Don’t worry.” He hummed as he pulled out. He got up to get a warm cloth to clean you up.

While he was doing that, your bubble burst seeing a call from Connie. You sat up and answered instantly, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry Connie. I can explain!” You began, regret filling you once again. “Where the hell have you been?! I been looking for your little ass all over. You haven’t even been responding to my calls or texts!” He yelled angrily into the phone.

“I asked everyone if they seen you. I’m actually pulling up to Eren’s crib right now. He was the last person who saw you so I assumed he’d know where you were at.” Connie continued ranting on. You felt your heart sank to your ass. “He doesn’t! I’m with my family! Emergency trip!” You blurted out as you scrambled out of Eren’s bed. Your legs were wobbly so you almost busted your ass.

“Well why didn’t you say anything? Had me running around looking dumb and shit because I don’t know where my own girl is at.” He said, clearly irritated with your antics. Honestly a part of you didn’t feel bad, happy that Connie got to experience that same helpless running around you had to deal with. “Because..it didn’t cross my mind. Sorry babe.” You apologized, hoping to appease him.

“It’s alright.” He sighed. “I’m gonna chill with eren and smoke a lil to relax. I’ll come see you later, alright baby?” He said. You felt like screaming. Your eyes widening and your heart racing in panic. Eren came back out, immediately getting concerned seeing the look on your face. “You okay little one?” He asked you as he walked up to you. You felt your heart stop once you heard that dreaded knock at the door. You definitely regretted sleeping with your boyfriend’s bestfriend now.

[ hopefully y’all liked this part as much as the first one 🥹💗]

[natalchartnurtures]

So tell me Taylor, Who am I gonna take to be my ~Lover~?

Want a sneak peak into who YOU'RE gonna take to be your significant-long-term partner?

(pile 1 to 3- left to right)

~~~~~~~~~~~

Pile 1:

Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close forever and ever? And ah, take me out, and take me home You're my, my, my, my Lover..

Let me say this. You're opening card is the ten of cups, right of the bat.. there's this beautiful love I feel between the two of you. Their presence in your life would either happen as a consequence of you resolving some of your deep subconscious beliefs that kept you limited in terms of love or.. some of you beautiful folks I feel your person will help prove your limiting beliefs around love wrong. This part of your relationship may feel a lil scary and intense but your love for them will end up helping you all the way through.

Oh wow.. I'm getting that you and your person will take on life together, almost with this feeling of being comrades. Especially during your more difficult and uncertain times, your relationship with them will only get stronger. Its giving Bestie energy ✨️ Don't we love that around here? Hehe

They really help you calm down if you're prone to anxiety and/or overthinking. Their energy has a really calming effect on you. Which is probably one of your favorite things about them 😊

I'm getting a strong message of this person being radically different from your previous partners. Maybe you are used to partners who are possessive, lack emotional intelligence and always gave you a reason to worry but I feel your person is a FAR cry from this kinda energy which will surprise you at first I'm ngl 😅 but once you get on board with the newness they bring, you'll have a beautiful relationship with them :')

"Equal give and take" I hear. Aw.

I feel like before you did the inner work with your subconscious mind, you attracted partners that weren't all that healthy but I see that as soon as you put away your wounds and old unhelpful beliefs that you might have picked up from childhood, that may have kept your energy stagnant, to rest they will show up into your life. You won't be able to miss it!

Side note: Ya'll reeeeeally remind me of Zendaya and Tom Holland. I kept having visions of them in my mind while I was channeling for your pile.. Isn't that something 👀

That was your reading, pile 1. Hope you enjoyed it!

Love and light, sweet souls ✨️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

pile 2:

And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you dear Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?

Ooh.. I feel your person being highly intelligent and just really smart overall. They seem quite deep to me.. their energy is direct and doesn't really play around. They definitely come off strong to you when you first meet them. They don't seem to enjoy small talk or socializing "just for fun" they seem to take their social life really seriously which is why they might keep to themselves mostly having a very TIGHT group they let themselves mingle with.

I have to say this.. your person has developed an incredible relationship with their mind. A quite healthy one after years of suffering mental agony they have figured out how to master their own mind and as a result they seem quite mature and come off quite stable. They're giving off a strong regal vibe, like, they have a lot of self respect and/or a lot of people seem to respect your person. Your person strikes me like the kind that not everybody necessarily likes but somebody who is respected and revered (in some cases) nonetheless. Wow. Strong vibes. They could be quite an intense person too ngl. They might like to dip their toes into psychology or simply put, the Scorpionic arts or.. just be interested in the occult from time to time 👀

They may not believe in love before they meet you tbh.

They like to believe in what they have evidence for and seems like before meeting you they simply hadn't find evidence of real love.. aw, that's low-key so cute!

Your person comes off quite practical and earthy. They may move in a very strategic way, keeping their plans (and their life in general) mostly to themselves.. which is giving PRIVATE energy. They seem hella private 👀 haha

So you know they're gonna keep your relationship to themselves like it's a scared, precious thing that they gotta safeguard :')

Meeting you will POSITIVELY flip their world upside down. If there's one thing they don't understand, its love and romance. When you walk into their life, being your cute ass self, they won't know what to do with themselves and despite them being successful in their lives prior to meeting you, they'd feel lost with you. You make them feel.. dumb haha. Or they perceive it that way. You might think it to be ridiculously cute lmao.

They're definitely gonna feel A BURNING passion for you right from the get go and that's how they'll know that you're their person!

That was your reading, pile 2. Hope you enjoyed it!

Love and light, sweet souls ✨️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

pile 3:

My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue All's well that ends well to end up with you Swear to be over-dramatic and true to my lover

So.. you guy's person and you come together in an interesting way. This is immediately telling me that your person is someone you don't expect to fall in love with. Ya'll might know each other for a while (depending on each person for how long exactly) and the feelings develop overtime. For some this person might reveal their feelings on accident while being drunk one night or something along those lines lmao (very specific, so take that with a grain of salt) lol but yea it's gonna be one of those really cute friends-to-lovers type situation with you and your person or enemies-to-lovers too maybe? 👀 Some KANTHONY vibes coming through #Bridgerton <3

Haha anyway.

You won't foresee a relationship between you and your person before it happens :p

Your person.. seems to have endured a partner before you (or many partners) who didn't really care for them. This may even be a feminine friend/family member as well. They broke your person's heart in a significant way and may even have manipulated you person into staying in the relationship (be it romantic or otherwise) which they eventually stood up to. Seems like a Karmic situation too btw. This Karmic situation, really helped your person grow and evolve into the person who was truly meant for you tho 😊 yay. They've healed from this previous heartbreak and somehow this road of healing brings them to you. Ah.. The reason why this previous relationship is coming into picture is because- they probably meet you while healing from this old situation.. they'd be hard at work trying to resolve the pain the went through and their reward for doing that is.. your love. AW. STOP IT! THAT'S CUTE <3

Ya'll remind me of that song "You Belong With Me" by our queen Taylor Swift. The lyrics are playing through my head now as I channel your person's energy. You could have additional messages in that song 😊

That was your reading, pile 3. Hope you enjoyed it!

Love and light, sweet souls ✨️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

[slut4hee]

MY HEART, MY MIND, AND MY BODYミ★

{Paring: Sneaky link Heeseung x Blk Fem! Reader

{Synopsis: you know you should ignore his texts, you know you shouldn’t answer when he calls but your heart, your mind, and your body tells you otherwise.

{Genre: smut, fwb relationship, Heeseung is toxic asf, reader is in love with him but he wants to keep their relationship strictly just fucking, good dick game Heeseung.🤭

{Warnings: oral (f receiving) , squirting, Heeseung is kinda a jerk to reader, reader cries, Heeseung manipulates reader by giving her some bomb ass head.

You know you should have been blocked him, ignored his text and moved on with your life because you know you deserve better but it’s not easy when you’re dealing with someone like Lee Heeseung.

You throw your phone on your bed when you read the texts he sent you, the same exact messages he sends you every weekend that you’re starting to grow tired of.

Mr Big Red Flag🙄🚩: You up?

Mr Big Red Flag🙄🚩: Mind if I slide over? I’m so hard right now

Mr Big Red Flag🙄🚩: you ignoring me or sum I can see that you were active 3 mins ago 🤨

You: What is it Hee? I’m not in the mood right now😐

Mr Big Red Flag🙄🚩: Damn baby what’s all the attitude for? I ain’t did nothing wrong to you so chill out🤷‍♂️

You: CHILL OUT? Stg get tf off my phone with that shit, you know exactly why I’m acting out this way😒

“Is he fucking for real right now” you scoff loudly as you turn your phone on dnd for the night and lock it. You get up to go take you a nice warm shower to clear your head and rinse off the shitty day you had. After showering and doing your night routine you decided to grab a snack and binge watch twilight for the 100th time. As you’re laying on your couch watching your movie you hear a knock on your door and it startles you.

“Who the fuck is knocking at my door this late” you question yourself as you hop off the couch to see who has the audacity to disturb your peace, you look out the peephole and you’re met with none other than Heeseung himself standing outside your door. You scoff in annoyance wondering why he decided to show up to your apartment without telling you.

“Y/n c’mon baby, open up the door I know you’re in there your car is parked outside” he waves at your ring camera,

“Heeseung why are you here?”Just do me a favor and go back to your place because I’m not letting you in mines” you roll your eyes walking away from the front door.

You grow frustrated when Heeseung continues to knock at your door, you hurry up and run to open the door when he starts to yell and cause commotion and out of fear of waking your neighbors and getting a noice complaint you let him in.

“Do you seriously have to make so much noise, I have neighbors Heeseung” you glare at him wanting nothing more to punch him in his face more like sit on it, you just noticed how freaking good he looks sporting just a black hoodie and gray sweats with his hood over his head with his bangs slightly visible. Butterflies erupt in your stomach and you’re starting to forget just why you’re so angry with him but that’s just how much of an effect he has on you.

“I mean if you would have just opened the damn door when I first knocked, I wouldn’t have had to yell for you to let me in” he says sarcastically looking at you with a knowing look as he steps more into your apartment making his way towards your couch where your movie is paused and your snacks left behind. Your eyes follow him as he plops down on your couch and manspreads, you can feel yourself getting wet at the sight of him and you mentally curse at yourself “you’re supposed to be mad at him Y/n” you tell yourself.

“Why are you standing all the way over there for aren’t you gonna come sit down?” He asks you as he pops some of the popcorn from your bowl in his mouth and gestures you to come to him. Subconsciously you obey him as you make your way to the couch sitting on the other side of it creating some distance between you two.

“Why didn’t you text me back baby?” He gets up and sits next to you and facing his body towards you. You roll your eyes at him as you push him back away from you trying to keep the distance between you and him but he’s not having it.

“You gonna tell me what’s got you acting all pissy?” He asks kinda coldly and clearly annoyed by your actions but who is he to feel frustrated, he’s the reason why you’re acting this way in the first place.

“Oh nothing Heeseung, maybe I’m just tired of you only hitting me up when you want to get in my panties, you never really check up on me it’s always when you’re looking to get your dick wet” you spit angrily at him folding your arms over your chest.

“I mean that’s the only reason why I should be contacting you Y/n baby come on we been through this already, no strings attached and no catching feelings strictly sex” He moves closer to you putting his hand on your thigh caressing it gently, you almost melt into his touch getting lost in the feeling of his hands on your body when you snap back into reality and swat his hand away.

“Heeseung look, I don’t know if I can keep doing this I think we should just end things and go our separate ways” You try to say sternly but instead it comes off shaky and weak. You try to fight back the tears that’s threatening to fall but it hurts so bad, it hurts so bad you fell in love with him, it hurts so bad knowing you compromised yourself for a man that doesn’t see you no more than a booty call and you feel so disgusted with yourself.

“Baby you don’t mean that, tell me you don’t mean that” He says softy while pulling you closer to him and grabbing your hand leaving soft kisses on your knuckles. You let the tears fall even more when he does this because you know deep down he’s only trying to make you feel better because he doesn’t want you to leave him.

“Mama look, I’m so sorry I hurt your feelings and I’m really trying to be better for you but you can’t just leave me like this darling, not after all we’ve been through” he tries to reassure you as he pulls you into his lap, he looks in your eyes as he draws little circles on your back trying to calm you down.

“Do you love me Heeseung and do you care for me like you say you do or is it all fun and games for you” You look at him with a stern yet saddened look and he can’t help but feel just a little ping of guilt in his chest, he doesn’t answer your question but instead pulls you in for a passionate kiss. You know you shouldn’t be kissing him right now instead you should be kicking him out of your apartment and blocking his contact ending it for good but nope you’re falling into his trap once again.

“You know how i feel about you baby girl now just let daddy take care of you okay? Let me kiss it all better” He says pulling away from the kiss and next minute you’re being lifted in his arms as he takes you to your bedroom. He lays you down on the bed softly as he lays his body on top of yours. He goes to attack your lips once again and you feel like you could just cream from the feeling of his soft pillowy lips on yours, he sucks on your bottom lip and starts to prod his tongue for permission to enter and you let him.

“Hee please” you pull away from the kiss begging him for more, you didn’t realize it had been a week since you last fucked, since you had been ignoring him and you mentally pat yourself on the back for even being able to go that long without having him inside you but now it feels as if you are gonna die if you don’t have his cock inside you right this instant.

“Please what princess, talk to daddy tell me what you want” he groans when he feels the heat radiating off your body and his cock is straining against his jeans, he’s so damn hard he’s afraid as soon as he puts it in your tight little hole he’ll explode right then and there.

“P-Please touch me daddy I want you so bad I need to feel you hee” you whine when you feel him play with the hem of your sleep shorts, he pulls the elastic band back and let it snap back making you yelp in pain and pleasure at this point you feel your pussy soaking and begging for attention.

“Oh is that what you want darling? For daddy to touch your little pretty pussy” he hums as he leans down to start leaving kisses and gentle bites on your inner thighs, you clench around nothing and subconsciously buck up your hips when he gets closer to where you need him the most and you whine out of frustration.

“H-Heeseung please touch me, I beg please make me feel good I want you to play with my pussy FUCK” tears start to prickle in your eyes when you feel his hot breath on your clothed core, you squirm and whimper when he starts to rub your clit through your soaked panties.

“Fuck baby, you’re so wet for me all for me right nobody else?” he questions as he starts run his fingers through your wet clothed folds causing you to let out a high pitched moan.

“Yes seungie, all for you I don’t want nobody else but you this pussy is all yours always been yours” Heeseung smirks at your words and decides it’s time to stop teasing and give you what you’re begging for so he taps on your legs signaling for you to lift up from the mattress so he can slide your panties off. Once he’s got your panties off he licks a stripe of your pussy and start to suck on your clit.

“Oh Fuck Yes baby just like that, Shit your tongue feels so good baby boy” Heeseung groans at your words and the vibration of the groan sends a jolt of pleasure through your body and you start to comb your fingers through his locks gripping onto them.

“God baby this pussy taste so fucking sweet, can’t get enough of you that’s why I keep coming back to this wet little delicious pussy” Heeseung starts to suck and slurp your pussy like a starved man, you can feel the knot in your stomach threatening to come undone when you feel him tongue fucking your tight hole and swirling his tongue all inside.

“Oh my god daddy I’m gonna cum please let me cum i beg you please let me I been such a good girl” you cry out as you feel your body trembling and your legs shaking uncontrollably after Heeseung delivers a harsh suck to your clit and you come undone on his tongue squirting your juices all over his mouth and on your bedsheets.

“Fuck that was so damn hot baby, naughty little pussy squirting so much for me such a good fucking girl” he comes up to kiss you, you whimper against his lips when you taste the faint taste of your cum on his lips.

“So, do you still wanna leave me?”

A/n: This was inspired by Summer Walker’s song Body, it’s one of my favorite songs by her and for some reason I somehow came up with this idea😩 but hope you guys enjoy this one and please feel free to reblog😁💋

[missxwrites]

new beginnings - tom kazansky

tom 'iceman' kazansky x reader

Summary: Tom finds his pregnant wife in the heart of their shared home, the sight of her simply takes his breath away. Word count: 1,120+ Warnings: fluuuufffff, SERIOUSLY FLUFFY SOFT TOM, pregnancy, afab!reader (still working on gender neutral tone as best I can), assumptions about size (I play into the plus size side of things because I am plus size, but there's no direct mention), no use of y/n (just she/her pronouns) A/N: This is only rough edited by myself, I'm so sorry for any mistakes. (Im rusty as f*ck at fic writing) I've had this fic in my back pocket for months, please enjoy all the fluff. I'm head over heels for val kilmer as a person, and I'm well aware that the gif is not from Top Gun... this is however an aged up version of Commander Kazansky (;

Tom wasn't typically a man of many words, even after Top Gun and becoming a commander... He was still on track to becoming an admiral in a couple years and his stoic ice-cold exterior has carried him far in the Navy. No, there wasn't much that could get in his way now. 

Except for her.

She melted his every icy edge. Especially now that she's 7 months pregnant with his baby. The way she waddled around the sizable estate that he purchased the year they got married. It'd been nearly 7 years since that beautiful day, but Tom and his wife decided to focus on their separate careers before committing to living with little ones under foot. He was nearing his mid-to-late 30's now and with his career excelling, his mind constantly settled on imagining what her beautiful features would be like mixed with his. 

Would they get his ice-like stare or her warm bright irises that see right through to his soul? Would they get his pin straight hair that stuck up in all the wrong places or her beautiful, textured hair that fell beautifully in every light? 

His mind would run rampant every time he looked at her, his eyes never failing to trail up and down her whole figure. He would linger on her face, taking in how absolutely mesmerizing she was in the pregnancy glow before darting down to her ever-changing belly. It was very noticeable now, and the way she braced the underside of the bump softened his stare every time. Even through the literal growing pains of making a human, she looked ethereal. He subconsciously pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. Tom was fully convinced that she could never be more beautiful than she was in this exact moment. 

With a warm but soft chuckle under his breath, he stood slowly and made his way over to her. The book she'd been perusing at the kitchen counter happened to be a cookbook he got her for Christmas in the early years of their relationship. He'd assumed she must be craving something specific by the way she quickly flipped through the pages. He placed his hands over the tops of her shoulders, giving a gentle rub to the tense muscles in her shoulder blades and leaned in to kiss her neck. The smell of her conditioner and body wash from her shower this morning is almost intoxicating. His body was warm, causing her to lean back on his chest.

"You're absolutely radiant dear," Tom stated, a smile forming across his lips. "And absolutely distracting..." He hasn't been able to take his eyes off her since she entered the kitchen adjacent to the doors of his office. He'd been trying to get through some paperwork before finding her to ask what you might want for lunch as she graced her way into the heart of their shared home.

She was one of the only women that could ever truly take his breath away, though many tried. Even in a moment like this... with his wedding band heavy on her finger and growing the fruit of his love for her in her tummy, he still had to remind himself to breathe.

His large arms made their way down her body until they gently embraced her and her bump. He supported her belly gently, the same way the two had learned in the parenting classes Tom insisted on attending once she confirmed her pregnancy. The soft hum that escaped her throat told him that she needed this. Her eyes fluttered closed as he stood there, swaying gently with her in his arms.

“Blueberry.” Was the only thing that snapped the quiet of the moment between the two of them. Her words were soft in his ears. Tom raised an eyebrow in curiosity as he leaned forward to place his chin on her shoulder. The pages of the cookbook landed on a muffin recipe that had been dog-eared and made enough times to sport the stains of baking chaos. 

Another low chuckle reverberated through his chest. “Cravings?” Tom placed another gentle kiss on her neck as he slowly released his childbearing wife to turn to the refrigerator behind him. This recipe was one he was familiar with, having made it several times over the years. He grabbed out the bowl of blueberries, buttermilk, butter and eggs while his wife gathered the remaining dry ingredients. 

A quiet melodic sound filled the kitchen as Tom watched his wife pull up the large glass bowl from the cabinet. The smile spread across his face as he recognized their wedding song falling from her lips. “I wanna know what love is…”

Tom set the cold ingredients out on the counter, crossing the kitchen swiftly to pull her back into his arms. “I want you to show me…” He whispered to her, a hum parting his lips as he twirled her around slowly in the afternoon light of their kitchen. He mirrored her radiant smile as they slowly swayed together, her baby bump separating them a little more than usual but neither of them cared. 

After enjoying the embrace of her husband, Tom’s wife pushed him away gently as she resumed making the muffins lil’ kazansky was craving so badly. The blonde commander only laughed as he kissed her hand before parting their embrace. He too busied himself making muffins again wordlessly as he reached into the bottom drawer of the oven. Grabbing out the old muffin tin, he paused to preheat the oven as he lingered there for a moment.

Tom’s hand immediately found his wife’s lower back as he brought the tin over to the island countertop, using the other to place the white liners in each cup. A devious giggle caught his attention and before he could even blink, she’d managed to touch his nose with a flour-covered hand. His steely eyes closed suddenly as she swiped at his face, unable to hide the slow grin that parted his lips as he dipped his own hand into the bowl of flour. 

He laughed as he pulled her back from the counter slightly, his flour covered hand landing gently over the top of her baby bump. The white handprint was stark on her dark dress. The gasp that escaped from the woman in his arms only made him laugh harder as she rolled her eyes and shook her head at her husband’s antics. 

"What am I going to do with you, Thomas Kazansky? ” She said exasperatedly despite a smile growing on her face.

“Love me.” He said simply, his eyes gazing deeply into hers as he pulled her in close again. “And make muffins with me forever.” She laughed, her heart full, as she accepted his proposal.

[joojeans]

&team hyung line: top 5 kinks

request: sorry idk if u answered this b4 but what kinks do u think &team would be into? >.<

a/n: if you follow my multi writing blog you're probably familiar with this format lol

p.s. the kinks are not necessarily in order

k

dumbification - i talk a lot about k tying his ego to his sex life a lot and that's just because i'm right ok. it's like the one area he's allowed to get a big head without worrying about it being toxic. and seeing you a literal mess because of him? he makes you feel so good and so overwhelmed that you can't get your words out and you're either literally or figuratively drooling for him? yeah. that does it for him.

finger sucking - the stars in his eyes and the smirk on his face when you so willingly open your mouth for his fingers and suck on them. what wouldn't you let him do? this is just one of many ways he reminds you both that you're his, even at the most subconscious level.

quickies - k gets random bursts of very high energy and he needs an outlet for them. his favorite method is draining himself by fucking you like an animal in heat for a hot second. (obligatory ha ha animal in heat reference)

temperature play - tbh, it's just fun watching how you respond when he drops hot wax on your stomach or holds an ice cube in his mouth and traces a line down the front of your body. he loves anything that pulls a reaction out of you.

orgasm denial (giving) - this one is a twofer. he likes denying your orgasm because of how you beg him to give it to you. oh, you want him that bad? you need him that bad?

fuma

pet play - i mean... duh. we all saw this coming. fuma loves everything about pet play: how cute you look, how well you behave for him, how trusted and reliable he feels. he'll take it very seriously, too. i'm talking regular trips to buy new accessories, even toys. regular walks, of course. love of head pats for his best pet.

body worship - fuma likes this both ways. when he's feeling particularly lovey, he'll take his time cherishing every part of your body. and when he's feeling like he wants to be in control, he'll talk you through how to worship his body properly–the way he deserves.

breeding - this man will not hesitate to put a baby in you omg. of course, he wouldn't do this with just anyone or under any circumstances, but if you're right and the conditions are right, you don't have to ask twice. even if neither of you are wanting an actual baby, he will be breeding you as if you'll be getting one anyway.

restraints - sometimes he just wants you to lay there and take what he gives you. he takes such good care of you, after all.

roleplay - he is too good at this. he doesn't get giggly and drop character–he's taking his role seriously. he likes that he gets to figure out how to fuck you differently depending on the context of your characters.

nicholas

praise (receiving) - don't get me wrong, nicholas will be praising you too. but hearing you praise him? otherworldly. he could almost live off the high of that alone. he wants to know that he's your most special, most perfect boy and how much you enjoy being with him.

phone sex - hhhhh nicholas's deep voice. if there's one thing about nicholas, he knows his strengths. he knows his voice is one of them. he loves knowing he can make you squirm just by talking to you. and he loves frustrating himself because he always wants more, but he gets off on forcing himself to settle for just this.

choking (receiving) - nicholas likes to be completely and totally bare with you. he wants vulnerability in its entirety. what is more vulnerable than symbolically putting his life in your hands? he gets intoxicated by the feeling.

voyeurism - this isn't something you two get to do often because of the nature of it, but it's hot. he likes to watch other people fucking while he whispers in your ear, asking if you would like it if he did this too. if you would moan for him like that if he did that too.

lingerie - let him play dress up with you just so he can task himself with the delicious challenge of making love to you without messing up his masterpiece.

euijoo

dry humping/clothed sex - two reasons for this other than it just feels good tbh. 1) euijoo is sensitive so sometimes he gets aroused in a big way pretty quickly so everything can move a bit fast. 2) this usually doesn't come with a direct initiation from either of you. it just kinda... happens. he loves that.

marking - he likes to be marked more than he likes to mark, but both happen. when he marks you, it's like a proud little "look at what i did" moment and that's so cute dsfsaf. when you mark him (somewhere he doesn't have to hide it, please), he gets literal goosebumps every time he admires it in the mirror. instant arousal.

overstimulation - this also goes both ways. like i said, he's sensitive. it's easy to overstimulate him. he likes letting go of the control and the perfection he strives for every day like this. it forces him to. and when he does it to you, it's a huge boost to his self confidence. i'm being so serious when i say that overstimulating you in the bedroom translates to more confidence in his everyday life.

size kink - euijoo is always trying to grow as a person. he wants to be more self-assured, more assertive. his size over you is one of the ways that he feels like a man. he knows it would be easy to impose himself on you. he can see it in your eyes. any time he's able to use his size to his advantage with you, it's like a switch flips.

hair pulling (receiving) - telling him he's doing a good job with a nonverbal communication like this that also feels good? yes please. don't be shy to pull harder.

cr. cafekitsune for mdni banners ♡

[oblique-lane]

idk if youve done it yet but i would actually lose my mind if you did an analysis for demo

Aye aye captain 🫡 Time to overdramatize again!

Let's address Demo's wounds

(Demo's backstory was changed through the years but I'm sticking to the older version because I find it more grounded)

Demoman's story is easily one of the most tragic of all the mercs. Imagine you have been abandoned from birth, your parents simply rejected you for what you are. But luckily you have been adopted by some good people who replaced your parents and made you a relatively happy child.

And then you accidentally kill them. You're 6 years old. How does that feel?

I can't even imagine how a child's brain can't comprehend the idea of being a murderer. It was an accident, of course, they were blown up by a big explosion he created (genius kid found out how to do that, huh?) but still. His parents were dead and he knew it was his own fault. He learned he was dangerous as he is.

How was it like pondering about it in the orphanage?.. "I didn't want this! I want to go back and fix it, I'm so sorry", something like that. But he couldn't go back in time, so being covered in such an avalanche of guilt, he learned he needs to repress himself.

Demo have always had an explosive temper (no pun intended), it was his true nature, pure emotion: if he's happy, it's 100%; if he's angry, it's a full blown storm. If he loves, he loves with all of his heart, and he has a big one.

Living on the impulse, all or nothing, that crucial accident revealed that letting his true nature go will only end up as destruction in the end. Irreparable damage.

We don't know what exactly was happening to him during his orphanage years, but if I'm to guess, repressing everything about him: his interests, his character, his whole nature, was a thing to choose. He thought that he had to become still and quiet as to not to repeat that kind of tragedy ever again. He probably didn't have people to be friends with either, either because people rejected him for his past, or he avoided them himself due to his internalized shame, at least that's a guess.

But everything repressed returns to the surface sooner or later. As a child, living for so long under overwhelming guilt, grief, hate, pain and sadness, under the skies that are almost never sunny in a all-year-long damp and coldness of the Ullapool. Incomprehensibly grey. It was depriving.

He was always fascinated with explosions. He didn't touch it for a long time, but maybe something like seeing fireworks again one day made something inside him tremble... And to remember.

Explosions. Launch... Acceleration... Release. And every time the release happens, his soul fills with excitement, the body feels lighter and shivers go up the spine. Release happens inside his head too, for the explosions make his worries and pain go away for a moment.

He couldn't find another way to release his bottled up emotions, so gradually he returned to make explosives again.

It was something like an addiction. Similar to pyromania, except no one bothered to research this one. At the moment of explosion he could let his anger out, he could scream, he could run around freely, he could sense heat in his chest; he could be himself. As he once was.

Everything was cold. But the explosions were hot.

He thought it was under control, just a little bit of KABOOM after school, but he craved more and more every time, more vivid, more violent...

That's how he lost his eye. (...Was it a subconscious act of selfharm?)

The missing eye was a forever reminder of how deviated he actually was. He learned that he couldn't repress or change what he truly is - a monster. A Black Scottish Cyclops, wether it were his peers who called him like that or he himself, out of misery. There was indeed something seriously wrong with him.

It seemed like the only thing he was capable of is destruction. Destruction is the only environment he's comfortable with. Peace was always so anxious and depriving, and breaking things felt calming, so he figured it must be right.

And then his birth mother came and took him back, "now that's he's a worthy DeGroot". It was unexpected but... Pleasant. So he wasn't THAT worthless after all, huh? Turns out, it was really familial, the destruction thing. At least he found out that there was a reason behind all of this.

His new mom was, saying honestly, pretty cruel with words. She was not at all gentle, she was very strict, demanding and straight up abusive. It was never enough for her no matter what Demo did. She didn't want results from his work, she's just always wanted to mess with his brain.

And for whatever reason... This setup felt right for him. To be thrown around like that, to be humiliated harshly, it felt fitting, it wasn't causing anxiety or anything. He has to be a scapegoat, he had to forget about being a child and to start working as an adult, at the same time somehow replacing a father he still didn't have, but it felt good enough. Confusing relationships felt good enough.

Destruction was his habitat, and his heart could no longer accept anything else.

Cruelty wasn't warm though, just familiar, just an environment to not to go insane. But he craved warmness so badly... Yet every time he would get close to someone and receive a little gentleness and care, it would feel sickening. It felt unnatural, it reminded him of his lost parents and of everything that's wrong about him.

The only warmness his body could accept was alcohol, making him bubbly and comfortable and relaxed. He almost felt normal, happy even. Alcohol heat made him melt, and he felt so fulfilled as if he was in paradise, back to the womb.

Yet after the effect wears off, he feels lonely as ever. Quickly, existing without alcohol becomes pain. Existing at all. He became an addict.

Not that everyone he met rejected him, rather, he subconsciously reached out to those who would be cruel to him. Again, gentleness hurts wether he knows it or not. He's only good in destruction.

Lonely and clingy, ready to overshare, overall mess yet carrying a big baggage of love that has no one to give it to. Maybe because he can't give it to himself in the first place. There's so many issues unresolved because he can't handle them alone, yet there's no one to help since he was already trapped in a closed circuit of self sabotage.

He will keep acting like a party beast, always crazily emotional and overdone upbeat, a simple drunken man who will not be taken seriously that way. Maybe that's what he wanted, to not be seen as deep by anyone for not be reminded of his misery once again.

Seems like we bought that too.

...

The enemy Soldier might be an exception though. The man he really treasures his friendship with turned out to be an enemy; repeating the rule again: it's only acceptable when dangerous. Soldier deeply cares for Demo, however he's not gentle or pitying, he's as destructive and explosive as Demo is, and these two are a very rare perfect combination of destructing each other in the act of love. Both broken beyond repair, soul on soul, forever to be misunderstood by the outsiders. This is something about this relationship that looks like a golden lining.

They will not fix each other, but they sure are going to have a good time!

[remcycl333]

OMG I was listening to Edward Art “Frequency” lecture on Youtube and had a damn epiphany after he said this:

“ In this case the imagination is the muscle that needs to be shaped, but the actions we’re performing the exercise is to feel the wish fulfilled everyday. That’s what one must do, you must be consistent about it daily. I’ll say this and I mean this in all seriousness is that feeling the wish fulfilled ONE time is greater than listening to eight hour subliminal messages while your sleeping or trying to impress your subconscious or repeating a thousand affirmations a day and I’m telling you from experience feeling it ONE time is GREATER. Because once you feel it for the first time, what you’ll realize is that your desire is within you and the fulfillment is also within you and you must fulfill your desires in IMAGINATION. And once you realize that you can do that and then when you do do it, you have a profound peace that you have found it, that you found what you’ve been looking for”

Like HELOO!? You don’t need to do ANYTHING to be in the wish fulfilled except experiencing it IMAGINATION!

Experience = imagination

Why do you need to listen to a subliminal overnight to manifest your desires? Why do you need to enter the void state to manifest your desires? Why do you need sleep paralysis to manifest your desires? Because it’s “instant”? YOU ALREADY HAVE IT! Once you’ve experienced your desire in imagination, it’s ALREADY yours. You have it NOW, instantly! Why do you need to do so many “methods” to fulfill yourself when fulfilling yourself is INSTANT. Or is it because your conditioning your desires and heavily relying on instant/overnight results when you ALREADY have it 🙃 you can have blind faith that your food from ubereats will be delivered to your door but can’t have the same faith when it comes to your imagination? If you experienced something in your imagination, IT IS ALREADY YOURS!! There is nothing to fear in there (your imagination) because you can have whatever you want in there! Time doesn’t matter nor will it ever because you have it right NOW. If you spent the time you used on using all these different “techniques” and “methods” and fulfilled yourself in imagination you could be living your BEST life already. Just relax and surrender to your imagination, trust it and have faith in it. What’s the worse thing could happen by fulfilling yourself? You getting all your desires? 😭 if you could have all your desires RIGHT now if you let go of the void, sleep paralysis, subliminals, etc would you do it? I know your answer was YES 💀 the law will never fail you babe, you can’t do it wrong and your doing everything right! It’s so easy and simple, you don’t have to lift a damn pinky finger to get what you want.

Recommend post to read:

https://www.tumblr.com/sexydreamgirl/722421591825334272/what-exactly-is-conditioning-your-desires-or

https://www.tumblr.com/sexydreamgirl/722612981825961984/i-finally-gave-up-on-the-void-as-a-means-of?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/aliamanifests/721288702915231744/i-just-wanna-say-ilysm-like-youre-literally-my?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sexydreamgirl/686089306257981440/i-think-the-problem-with-ppl-who-fail-to

https://www.tumblr.com/muselogy/682340252705275904/refresh

IMAGINATION IS THE REAL REALITY, YOU ARE IN BARBADOS *slams door*

Listen to source and APPLY! *mic drop*

🤍‼️

[hyewka]

hii !! this is my first question thing .. can u maybe do a perv!yeonjun?

warnings: perv bestfriend!yeonjun, jealousy, corruption kink, stealing clothes, sniffing underwear/yeonjun has a thing for scent in general, obsessive behavior, switch!yeonjun, not proofread

"you save yourself?" he breathes, blinking rapidly like he was trying to piece this sacred information together.

"yeah, i mean, i just sort of ...grew up with the expectation." you say shrugging. it wasn't a big deal, you've always just went through it, not having the desire to be sexually active during your teenage years anyway.

yeonjun stares at you mind boggled, lips slightly parted before he just lets out a light scoff, brows slowly knitting together.

you shift awkwardly at his reaction- you're not sure what you expected but it wasn't whatever ...that was. yeonjun was the most open minded person you've met and know. exact reason why it's a breeze for you to confide in him about anything and everything.

you've never told him about your stupid virginity pact assuming he'd never live the information down-- a sophomore at college was a virgin? it didn't help that yeonjun's reputation included a lot of...well, the opposite of a virgin.

but the more you got to know him, the more you let the worry go-- he never seemed the type. until now, the regret slowly creeping up of ever mentioning it.

yeonjun suddenly takes a swig of his drink, still dazed.

"i mean i get it, it's not very feminist of me is it?" you try lightening up the mood, laughing at your own joke.

yeonjun's not on the same thought train. whatsoever. your earlier statement about finally 'trying it out' sticking out sorely in his head now knowing you were a virgin. "and...and you're going to give it up to fucking wooyoung?" he spits out with a mocking sneer.

okay, now you're confused. you turn your body on the couch to yeonjun, who had his forearms laid on his knees, posture bent with a strong grip on his red cup eyes focused on the crowd dancing to the blasting music. "what's wrong with wooyoung? i mean he's my boyfriend. and you guys are friends...did he do something wrong?"

yeonjun's venomous smile withers, practically evaporates as he throws an arm around your shoulder- if you hadn't spent hours doing your hair, he would've normally ruffled it, but his hands avoid it, his trademark teasing smirk that you could probably draw from memory showing up, "nothing, nothing's wrong. i was just messing with you. i got you, didn't i?"

you blink dumbfounded, but before you could question the sudden transition he had already switched topics and you reluctantly let it go.

yeonjun who goes home that night, far from his original plan to get trashed, opening his closet in desperate search of the cardigan you forgot on his couch a few days ago. when he spots it, he gulps, grabbing it and looking down at the baby blue in his hand for a second.

when he originally recognized it as yours, thoughts of calling you to pick it up weren't lasting. see, yeonjun has recently been hit by a sudden infatuation with you the past year, even after you started going out seriously with wooyoung. he wasn't too concerned, afterall, it was natural-- you were attractive, of course in the way of your friendship he'd eventually feel something more. it happened with more than half of his female friends, it always proved to be fleeting.

but the longer he caught his eyes trailing down your ass, subconsciously licking his lips, before snapping out of it and stuffing his perverted hands in his pockets to stop himself from losing control, the harder he felt he had to have you. it was so bad that his occasional flings mortifyingly started sounding a lot more like you...and looked a carbon copy.

so what if had a sickenly desire of touching, ruining every inch of your body? what could he do with your silly cardigan anyway?

yeonjun who finds it almost bothersome as he approaches his bed, grip tight on the fabric, wrinkling it in his hand. the fabric that's responsible to the haven that was your scent, stenched with you, everything you. you've always worn it out, to the point he thought it was your only jacket (to which he tried suggesting to gift you a new one), but you told him it was because the fabric was breathable, comfortable compared to most things in your closet.

he guessed it was your favorite.

so what would you think of him now? staining your favorite piece of clothing, hand shaking as he immediately shoves his nose in the line of the cardigan, his control breaking as he takes a deep exhale in, flickering his eyes shut, his lungs filled with you. the power of smell, it felt like you were right next to him when he had his eyes closed, taking another whiff before frantically trying to smell every inch of the fabric. his head light with ecstasy, his hand drive themselves over his bulge, feeling his hard on through his loose sweats, before his pace picks up, palming his dick, his breathing heavy and unrhythmic -- the mere scent of you making him go mad.

perv!yeonjun who gets dangerously fast to his climax, his hand faltering as he takes another whiff, groans easily slipping out of his mouth with the way they shamefully hung open-- so addicted he thinks he might go insane, his drool trickling down under his chin, some wiped on your cardigan because he was a dog with a bone. a crazed animal he realizes when he finally shudders, soiling his boxers, watching a large wet path spreading rapidly with growth on the area of his crotch.

who knew he could fucking get off of a cardigan? that's when the panic settled in as his hand shake in realization of what the fuck he just did.

he ruined his pants...because of your cardigan.

perv!yeonjun who feels like such a freak when he bumps into you at campus, yet continues to use your cardigan to his free will, hips canting against his bed with his head buried in the fabric, "f-fuck, y/n, you do this to me..." his babbles are so shameful to the way he carries himself, strong, masculine--anything but weak to a scent of a mere girl.

but it was you. the girl he felt he could spend eternity laying his head on, eternity hearing just a laugh, a snappy retort, a stupid dumb joke-- anything, he could do anything for you, with you, anything and he would find no use with anyone else.

he tries to get rid of his concerningly growing infatuation, deciding that he was acting out because of his lack of pussy-- going to every frat party on thursday, taking a pretty girl to a secluded enough space, have a pretty good fuck, feeling pretty fucking good on his way home-- until he's on his toilet again, left hand jerking off his swollen cock, his tip leaking precum, gawking down at your new post, biting his lips so painful at the shot of your ass in skinny jeans. "fuck!" he yells, strings of his cum spurting all over his screen, so frustrated with the hold you had on him, especially when you spared him zero romantic attention.

you had your heart reserved for someone else, and it was never not shoved in his face. it was the main drive for him-- when he spots wooyoungs hand sneakily going dangerously under your waist, his lips too close to your ears, body pressed against your ass a little too much for his comfort-- the occasional eye rolls were impossible to control in the first place, but these days, rage got to the best of him.

as far as he knew, based on your rambles lately, you haven't slept with wooyoung yet. you were still a virgin. and the scent of you was wearing off the cardigan, not able to get himself off properly.

he couldn't return it, the fabric was ruined with stains of his cum not washed off even after the third circle in the washing machine-- he impulsively opted to buy an identical, praying to god you wouldn't notice the difference.

perv!yeonjun who has a habit of lingering in an embrace with you, nose buried in your hair, discreetly trying to inhale your smell, before you awkwardly try to pull out of his suffocating grasp. "yeonjun, you're acting like you haven't seen me in years." you say, finally breaking the embrace with yeonjun's hands defeatedly falling to his side, staring at you with such intensity you don't notice.

its so so full of pity, his eyes, hidden with all the perverted things he would do to you- hes' thought of doing to you. his mind was rotten, if you let him, he'd take you right then and now. slamming his hips into his best friend's tight pussy, breaking your hymen, mixture of his seed and proof of your virginity taken-- a sight to be imprinted in his memory foreer.

hes dreamt of it even more vividly, being the one to take your virginity, in his fantasies- the one you've reserved for him. it's why you haven't fucked wooyoung yet, right? you wanted him just as much as he wanted you.

yeonjun who has built a pile, a haven of all the guilty stolen treasures. clumsy with the elastic bands of his boxers, quick as he flings out his dick from the restriction of his pants, his hand slow on his shaft, dragging up and down with the stickiness of his precum, burying his nose into h like the fabric would evaporate into thin air at any time, like this was his last shot at getting something remotely reminiscent of you, deep groans of your name that sometimes get out of his control, turning to loud moans, the family next door unappreciative.

perv!yeonjun who's addicted to taking your things, stuffing it in either his pockets or bag, ruining it back at home the same day with his filthy thick load, your suspicions rising only making it more thrilling with each trashed item.

yeonjun who loses his last bits of restraints when you're jokingly pushed directly on his lap, floors of the living room being occupied by most of your friends invited for the group watch, the couches all full, chairs all used, of course they thought it'd be funny if you sat on yeonjun. you didn't mind it all too much, finding no issue with sitting on your best friend-- you've done it a few times before, skinship was normal between the both of you. but you still wanted to make sure he was comfortable.

you lean your head back to whisper in his ear, noticing the way his pronounced adam apple bopped up and down, which was odd-- yeonjun being nervous? but you ignore it, "i can stand if you're not comfortable."

his eyes tear from the premier that has the entire living room roaring with excitement, "n-no, it's okay, you're alright. i'm alright."

"...you sure? you don't look like you're alright."

"i'm seriously good y/n, let's focus on the show, we've been waiting for a whole year."

hesitantly you nod, it's true, the cliff hanger last season was a bite in the ass, so you ignore your gut, tuning in with the rest of your friends.

yeonjun who can't help the soft whimpers escaping his lips the more you jump at a scene then fall back down, his boner growing harder and harder, trying to go to the bathroom, but you're too focused on the show he's stuck under you as you adjust your position every few minutes, your ass with no knowledge, getting him off. his breathing gets heavier, nose flaring, so thankful the lights were off and it was night, too crowded for anybody to catch onto the way he was bucking his hip up into you, making the friction enough to get his head dizzy, arms snaking around your waist, tightening the closer he gets, the way you're so clueless spurring him on-- his face dipping into the crook of your neck, sweat dripping down his forehead, taking a deep breath before muffles his moan with a bite down his lip, whimpers as he finally releases.

he throws his head back on the couch, trying to calmly catch his breath, a grin spreading across his face letting his mind drift to how heavenly itd feel being inside you if grinding against you felt this good.

you turn your head back, voice hoarse and quiet, "...yeonjun?"

"yeah?"

your eyes trail down, and it takes the perv a few seconds to realize before his forehead crease flatten.

oh shit.

yeonjun just stained your leggings.

----

[myfairstarlight]

An Ode to Friends to Lovers - Colin and Penelope's story

Fine, I give in.

As someone who considers themself more of a casual viewer (as in, I've never engaged in the fandom before), I went into this new season with mild interest. And then I fell down the rabbit hole. I should have suspected it though, Friends to Lovers is a trope I affectionate particularly when it comes to romance, unfortunately one I very rarely think is done well. So I was still skeptical going in.

But by God, did they deliver on that front and I need to break it down and talk about it. So I guess this is my review of Bridgerton s3, part 1.

Under the cut though, because this is gonna be a long one (seriously, this is a warning).

I don't particularly think Bridgerton is a complex show, and one can argue all day about whether it is even good (in my eyes, as long as it's entertaining, I don't care if a show is "good"), however, the number of takes I've seen online not understanding basic story-telling worries me a bit.

Don't get me wrong, I agree this first half has pacing issues but I do not think Penelope's and Colin's love story suffered that much, it did not feel rushed to me since we already knew these characters for two whole seasons (and I maintain Colin has always had more depths than what people pretend he does, it seems like, just like the ton, viewers like to overlook him and just characterise him as naive).

And I guess this long ass post was born in the process. So:

Part One: Penelope's glow up

Yes I'm starting by looking at them individually first. I think this post on reddit sums it up so perfectly. I get we're all joking about how unrealistic it is that no man was ever interested in Penelope despite how she looks like an absolute goddess (and I maintain she was the cutest in both previous seasons as well!) - unfortunately it is realistic. That's the reality of bullying, it doesn't get solved by a glow up. Even her association with the Bridgertons through Eloise and Colin did not lessen the bullying, so without them? Even the prettiest dresses would not have changed the ton's perception of her, and she's still the awkward, anxious girl she's always been, and unfortunately, most of these men are not attracted to that. It's not satisfying, she doesn't get her triumphant revenge on a society that always ostracised her - and I think it's important that she does not. That she accepts it. She should not have to change for a ton that will not change for the better either. And it's a lesson she learns quickly - someone will love her for who she is, pretending will only lead to misery. And, it is when she's being herself that she successfully gets the interest of some gentlemen (shout out to Lord Remington! I was so hoping we would be seeing more of him on top of Debling. He's such a Whistledown fan I thought that even after the whole lesson reveal scandal he would have stuck to call on Penelope the next day to gossip together, it would have been cute but I guess he too wanted to avoid being written about) (also I'm just saying in fics he should be the one considered as a proper other suitor for Pen since they seemed to have a genuine connection, meanwhile Debling was really searching for practicality).

The thing I wanna add to that post is this: despite all that, she decided to change her looks for herself. When I first learned of the plot of this season, Colin helping her find a husband, I was scared it would mean Colin would be the one to tell her to have a makeover. It doesn't happen. Sure, Penelope subconsciously requests for a more Parisian style for her new dresses because it is the last place Colin went to, but by that point she has already given up on him. She wants something new, and to feel good in herself. That's how she blooms, by finding a style that she feels comfortable in, finally free from her mother's horrendous tastes. That's what allows her to be more confident as well, the new looks and her motivation to move on from her "unrequited fantasy". As for Colin? He never comments on her change, he compliments her dress (and mind you, that is when he's trying to play up the charm because he knows she's upset with him and he gets humbled, hard) but he never says it looks better on her than what she wore before, he never has a "I never realised how beautiful you were" moment we see a bit too often in friends to lovers stories, because to him she's still his Pen, new dresses, new hairstyles, but the same Pen he's always loved, even if he didn't realise to what extent yet.

But Penelope's confidence... is not quite there yet. Difficult to be, when she's grown up in a loveless home, with horrible sisters, a father who barely cared and a mother who constantly puts her down. Whenever she gets a compliment, her first reaction is "ah, it must be a joke" - that isn't even exclusive to Colin, in the brief interaction between Edwina and Penelope, when Edwina compliments her dress, Penelope also dismisses it. And then, there's Colin, who is always oh so honest with her and does not shy away from praising her. But I'll touch more on that later.

Part Two: Colin's new self.

And then we have the opposite: Colin showing up with a new attitude, and succeeding at it (well, on the surface). Something I haven't seen people bring up a lot though is that he's already tried a new look in s2, and he got mocked for it. The only one who didn't? Penelope. Why didn't he try to emulate being a rake back then? Because Penelope's letters grounded him, he admits it himself. It's seeing himself through Penelope's letters that gave him confidence. But that kind of confidence was not enough in the ton's eyes, and on top of that, between s2 and s3, this time Penelope doesn't write back, and neither do his family. He grows insecure, he's lost the one person who kept him grounded, he thinks his family is annoyed with him, and he still is in search of a purpose, so what does he do? He clings to Anthony's words in s1 after the disaster that was his engagement with Marina: he's too green, time to "fix" that and be more like his big brothers. They got it together, they know their purpose (well, Benedict lost his again but that's a story for another day), so surely, if he acts more like them, and not like the sensitive and naive boy he was, then surely everything will be alright! Right? Note that as opposed to s2, where he kept talking about his travels and it annoyed everyone, in s3 he doesn't go into details about them anymore, even when he's asked. They're only interested in the company he kept during the travels rather than the sights he saw. And honestly, it was heartbreaking to see right away how much of himself he was holding back, even with his own family. Penelope, however, gets the details without even asking because he already knows she likes hearing him talk about them and she makes him comfortable, and he's fully aware of that when he apologises in s3e1.

(I also want to note that, even if this new persona is fake, his new style genuinely fits him better. Just like Penelope, this season Colin found the style that makes him feel good and confident.)

And here's where I need to praise Luke's acting for a bit, because he absolutely nailed the subtle way Colin behaves differently with Penelope vs everyone else. His voice is softer, he is effortlessly charming (I was kicking my feet when he recalled how they met), his smile is bigger, even his whole face looks more relaxed whenever Penelope is around, meanwhile he always appears stiff and like he's calculating his every move when around his "friends". In fact, it is in the carriage scene we finally truly see s1&2's Colin back. When he has that look on his face, as he decides right there and then he's gonna marry her, and then a second later when he asks the question, his face. By God, his eyes are sparkling, he's so happy, and he looks as youthful and carefree as he did in previous seasons, far are the thoughts of trying to fit in a society that he hates.

Because above all, these two know and understand each other in a way no one else in their lives does. And that is a fact that remains despite the outward changes. So yes, I liked that their dynamic did not shift to romance because of their "glow ups", but because they are spending even more time together now. Speaking of which:

Part Three: Authenticity and Vulnerability

One big theme this season is being true to oneself. It's no coincidence mirrors are such a big part of it (even outside of the yet to be seen spicy scene), because looking at a mirror means looking at oneself, and be vulnerable. If s2 was about duty vs heart, eldest siblings trying to do right by their family to the point of self-sabotage, s3 is a battle between the head and the heart. It is not even exclusive to Polin - Eloise is learning and growing by trying to take genuine part in society but struggling to fit in. Cressida wants to become a better person, torn between the pressure put on her shoulders by her parents and this new friendship with Eloise. Benedict is looking for his purpose after learning Anthony paid his way to art school, and feeling like a fraud as an artist. Anthony and Kate are unashamedly in love, as they deserve to be after the struggles they went through last season. Francesca has no care for the suitors the Queen and her mother parade in front of her as the "sparkler" of the season (sidenote but I hated that, stupid name, should have stuck to diamond or select another gem) as her heart seeks out the handsome and quiet John Sterling instead. And this will continue in part 2, as Penelope will have to be honest about Lady Whistledown (because she's always her most authentic self around Colin, there is still this big secret she is so determined to keep to herself, when she should not).

The beauty about friends to lovers stories to me is the small declarations of love sprinkled throughout the relationship. It's about the trust already built in with no expectations and the vulnerability we'd never allow anyone but our closest friends to see, something even our family can be ignorant to. I mentioned earlier that Colin never shies away from praising Penelope, way before their dynamic shifts to lovers. He tells her she's good, constant, loyal, special, warm. All of these are declarations of love, even if not with romantic intent, it's about showing his appreciation for her, for the role she holds in his life. And Penelope responds in kind as well. That is why I believe people who think the romance was rushed in s3 either did not watch the past two seasons or see friendship and romantic love as two distinct things rather than a cohesive continuation of each other. In s1, people focus so much on the Marina stuff, as if that cancels out Colin's friendship with Penelope. We still do see Colin actively seek out Penelope at balls, and defending her against Cressida, he compliments her and tells her she's the one who inspired him to travel. Then s2 rolls in, and they're exchanging letters, which will become the cataclysm for their dynamic changing later on. And then there's one of my favourite scenes with them: them talking about their purpose. They both open up here, Colin about his insecurity, Penelope about her dream, it is so intimate. And then, there's of course Colin protecting the Featheringtons from ruins. I'm mostly emphasising Colin's actions, because Penelope's crush on him was always in your face, and while Colin may not have realised it yet, he's always cared about Penelope in a special way, as manifested by his actions and how vulnerable he allows himself to be around her, when even his own family has no idea about what's going on inside his head.

There's a misconception that Colin calling her his friend was him rejecting her, and yet we see in s3 he had no idea whatsoever that she has a crush on him, so he could not lead her on (unlike his book counterpart, who was aware of Penelope's infatuation and was careful never to toe the line until he realised his feelings. Show Colin though? Completely oblivious. And it makes sense, he's still young.) He asks Violet "how do you know it was reciprocated" and not "how do you know you're in love with your best friend". As of right now at the end of part 1, he genuinely thinks he's the one who fell in love first, or at least realised it first. His "You're Pen, you do not count, you're my friend" in s2, was not a rejection in his eyes, but a declaration of love; he's forsaken love and women but not his Penelope, never her, she's his exception And it's not like Penelope resented him for that friendship he so readily gave her, yes she had a crush, but she was proud to call him her friend! He was, with Eloise, her solace away from her family. At the end of the day, this is a friends to lovers story, it is silly to get upset that they considered themselves friends first before there is a click as they realise they are now on the same page to shift their relationship.

Side note but I've never liked the term "friendzoned" because it makes it sound like being friends is a bad thing. I've had unrequited feelings before but I've always felt grateful that being friends with them allowed me to stay close to them even if I knew nothing else could happen. I was still very much happy and content. But maybe I'm projecting on Penelope and that's another debate.

See, what I ended up loving about the lesson plot, which I was so wary of at first, is that Colin barely teaches Penelope anything. At first, he goes for the "do what society expects women to do" (since it worked for him) but then she acts awkwardly, she can't fake it, and it surprises him for a moment. That's when it clicks for him, she just needs to be comfortable because with him, she's always smart, witty and charming, she's herself. He's always seen her that way, and he did not quite realise he had that privilege in the first place. And I love how we see him slowly realise it is no longer a privilege thanks to his help. We see it in e2. When she talks to the guy with the dead horse (forgot his name, oops), Penelope forces the flirt and Colin is amused by it. Fast forward Penelope approaching Lord Remington by herself, without Colin's initiative, and she's being more authentic, and suddenly Jealous by Nick Jonas plays in the background and Colin doesn't look proud, but apprehensive, or dare I say jealous. The shift in Colin's head happens long before Debling is in the picture. I'd argue it already shifted earlier in that episode, in his study, which he flashbacks to in e4.

His journals detail how unfulfilled he feels when he lays with random women in his travels. He longs for emotional intimacy. And guess with who he finally finds that, when a certain red-head asks the one question that allows them to break the physical barrier they had to keep between them for the sake of propriety?

Ah yes, that first kiss. To Colin, everything has been building up to this, this is his true Oh moment. A favour turned into a revelation. For Penelope, this is quite literally the end of her fantasies. This is Penelope's most vulnerable moment. She bares her heart, she's sad, she's desperate. And some people have been calling that moment pathetic, interpreting it as her being weak and giving in to her crush again, saying that she should not have to beg for that man's affection. I concur that she is brave, and bold. I also concur that some of you all are a bit too attached to the girlboss archetype forgetting that allowing oneself to be vulnerable is also a strength. She's never had to beg for Colin's attention anyway because he readily gives it to her, but in this one instance, for once in her life, she is truly being honest. In her head, she has nothing else to lose, and she wants to experience the one thing she thinks she can never have so of course she's gonna turn to the one person she's always trusted and feels the most comfortable with, because before her crush, Colin is her friend. She's asking a favour from a friend. And then she can move on, whatever "moving on" will turn out to be. In this instance, she has the power in her hands.

And it is her bravery that is the true cataclysm for things to change properly. Of course, things have already started to change the moment she stopped replying to the letters, but that moment really expedited their relationship.

Part Four: Lovers, but in a best friends way

The thing with Bridgerton, in the books or in the show, is that each couple has their trope. This is not news to anyone, I think. We've had fake dating, and enemies to lovers, and one characteristic that these two tropes share is a growing tension between the characters before it snaps. There is a reason the early marketing for s3 focused on Penelope being cold towards Colin, tension and conflict are more appealing on the surface. And then the first half of the season comes out and that conflict between our main couple? Solved after one episode because they did one thing that is severely missing in most romance dramas: communicated healthily. Penelope laid out why she was upset (although she does not stay to let Colin explain and then vents out her feelings in Whistledown... she still has some learning to do), Colin immediately went to apologise and make up for it. All of this by talking. And yet I'd argue friends to lovers still has its own tension, just not to the same intensity as the other two, and more difficult to market. The tension comes from the brewing feelings, the way you start seeing every touch, every interaction, in a whole new light, and wondering if it's only in your head or if it's reciprocated. But now combine that with Colin who's always been so earnest about his feelings with Penelope? And Penelope who's always quietly wanted their relationship to evolve that way? Of course they figured it out quickly and got together in half a season. And I'm delighted that we will see them handle the whole Whistledown mess as a couple, as two people aware they love each other deeply, which gives a whole new meaning to the conflict compared to the book where I felt like it was brushed over a bit too quickly (because they got distracted in that carriage). It is the last secret between them, their last obstacle.

I also do not like the "Colin should have grovelled and pined more" argument, when he is the one who insisted on the lessons to help her find a husband in the first place, and then has to face the fact that actually, he doesn't like the idea of another man taking Penelope away, and oh, isn't that the consequences of his own actions? He is grovelling, you just don't see Penelope holding it over his head, because that's not the person she is, this is not a revenge fantasy story, in fact she does not realise the power she has on him because she is used to Colin seeking her out. I like that he didn't stew on his feelings and decided to act on them right away. I also don't like how this whole grovelling thing makes it sound like love is a competition, that just because Penelope has known she's been in love for longer and "suffered" longer, that means Colin needs to do the same to even the planes. Because in my eyes love isn't exactly something to be earned — it is given. Now, are you worthy to keep it? To nurture it and make it bloom and last? That is the real question.

Admittedly, since this is only the first half of the season, we do not see them in a romantic setting a lot. That first half is focused on them rekindling their friendship lost during the summer when Penelope stopped responding to the letters, and Colin having the realisation he cannot live without his best friend, not just because she is his best friend, but also because he loves her. But we do have two important, and obvious instances.

So let's talk about that first kiss again. It is, in my opinion, one of the most gentle and romantic moments in the show so far and also showcased their friendship really well. Colin trying to joke to lighten the mood as Penelope spirals down (peak best friend behaviour actually), the gentle, swelling music, the light of the moon, Colin's deep exhale of realisation as he holds her face when he goes back in for the second kiss, with the furrowed brows of a man on a mission. This is Penelope's most vulnerable moment and Colin's big realisation. And I felt like I was intruding.

And same goes for that carriage scene, but even before they go at it; now this is Colin's most vulnerable moment, and Penelope's realisation that they can be more. He chases the carriage by foot, then goes on his knees to confess his feelings to his best friend in the softest and most determined voice we've ever heard him use this whole season, eyes wide, tears threatening to fall as it is his turn to bare his heart and ask for a chance. Meanwhile Penelope takes it all in, running her hand through his hair because she can finally touch him, melting under him. Things get steamy. And then... and then... The carriage stops, they get startled, Colin jokes that the driver should have kept on driving and then... they laugh. They just made out, and went to second base together, and yet here they are now, laughing. It is such a genuine and lovely moment. And it's then that Colin has that look in his eyes, that "I'm gonna marry her" look. That is when he realises he cannot live his life without her. That his purpose is now right in front of him: making Penelope Featherington, soon to be Bridgerton, laugh until the end of their lives.

Conclusion

There's no conclusion, I just love them so dearly. Yes, there still is the whole Whistledown mess to deal with and sure, the argument with Eloise may make you think great angst is ahead but if there is one big difference between Colin and Eloise, it is this: Colin has always listened to Penelope, and this is not a diss on Eloise. Eloise, bless her heart, can be pretty self-centred, she's loud and a bit immature, something she is growing from in s3, and you cannot ignore that she did not really listen to Penelope (she has no idea Penelope wishes to marry when Penelope tells her she does in s1, we can blame the writing, but I do think it fits with Eloise's journey to realising how privileged and dismissive she is. Penelope was too polite to call her out until their falling out. Meanwhile Cressida is exactly the type of honesty she needs for a wake up call). Colin, on the other hand, is very sensitive and a good listener. Furthermore, this season, Penelope is learning to be more confident, to voice what she wants, and I like to think it is leading to her finding her own voice and not needing Whistledown to hide behind anymore. If there's someone with whom she has no filters, it is Colin, so I have faith that when the reveal happens and an argument breaks out, this new Penelope will not back down and will lay out all her reasons and all her regrets, and Colin may be stubborn, but he loves that woman and he always listens.

A part of me also wishes they keep the jealousy he felt about her writing in the book, and that they don't focus just on the whole "you lied to me" aspect (we've already had that with Eloise). How he, himself, is insecure about his writing, and here Penelope is, less fortunate than he is, and yet who did have the courage to get her writing out there, even if publishing under another name. Because that is also a reality in relationships, when your partner is at a different stage in their career, and how they can communicate to support one another.

Anyway, I'm just rambling now (as if that isn't what I've been doing this whole time). I like them. A little. Just a bit. I'm very normal about them <3

[yeoblurbs]

[11:16]

Pairing: Choi Yeonjun x fem!reader

Prompt: you flinch during an argument

Anger was never something you associated with Yeonjun. until now.

to begin with, anger was not an emotion that was foreign to you. in fact, you might even say you were familiar with the explosive type of feeling, having grown up with a family that was seemingly always angry at something- or someone; often you.

but when you met Yeonjun, he was soft, sweet, and gentle. of course, that didn’t mean the two of you didn’t have disagreements. after all, arguments were inevitable, except Yeonjun always ensured that he would never get angry with you. he knew your history surrounded by those with uncontrollable rage, and never wished to inflict such pain upon you again.

so perhaps that is why you are so distraught at the mere sight of his outrage directed at you for the first time.

“You seriously couldn’t just control yourself around her? She’s my mother, Y/n, she deserves respect. It’s that fucking simple.” he crosses his arms as he stares at you.

the two of you are standing in the living room of your apartment. it’s 8:00PM; the sky is littered with stars as the moon gleams, the hue coloring Yeonjuns face prettily. but when you observe the anger coating his eyes, you take a step back, nerves flaring subconsciously from past experiences.

you ignore the tears that threaten to fall from your eyes, “I said I was sorry, okay? But you have to understand where I’m coming from, she wasn’t just just insulting me, she was insulting my entire life!”

he stands tall, posture rigid as he exhales loudly. “Regardless of what she said, you should’ve kept your composure and stayed respectful.”

you look at him incredulously, hurt that he would even insinuate that you were disrespectful and overdramatic.

“I was respectful! Everything I said was the truth.”

you sigh, shoulders deflating, “I had no intention to fight with her, Jun. I understand how much she means to you, I would never purposefully try to cause problems with someone that you care about.”

“Well, it’s too bad you did it anyway.”

Yeonjuns eyes are blazed with fury as he stalks over to you with heavy steps. his arm shoots out to behind you, causing you to flinch as you watch him pull away with his phone in his hand.

he pauses, eyes wide as he scans your form. your gaze is stuck on his chest, unable to look up as you feel trapped in the paralyzing fear of him so angry and so close.

but now Yeonjun is confused. why do you look so small and scared? who could you be scared of… was it him?

he places his phone on the table gently, whispering a soft, “Baby?”

your eyes dart to his at the term of endearment, analyzing his parted lips and unsure expression.

“What’s wrong?” his arm moves toward you again, though the moment his skin touches yours you flinch harder than before. you shuffle away from him slightly, feet stumbling as you step back.

“M’fine.” you mumble, arms wrapping around yourself as you shakily breathe in. “I… I’m done with this conversation, Yeonjun. We can talk about it later, when you’re not so angry.”

Yeonjun pauses, arm raised beginning to fall. angry? he wasn’t angry. upset, sure, but anger was not something he would ever want to direct to you no matter what. his brows furrow, mind retracing the events that occurred as he swallows harshly.

he had definitely looked angry just now, and he definitely felt angry. his stomach drops at the realization. his eyes snap to your form, a few feet away and looking more small than ever. he wants to scoop you up into a comforting hug but he knows your current state is merely an effect of his behavior tonight.

the last thing he has ever wanted to do is make you feel like you weren’t safe; like he wasn’t a safe space. and yet, all he has done is exactly that.

“Wait, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Y/n.”

you stand still before him, lips pressed together as you blink back tears. Yeonjun wants to bury himself alive at how upset you look. “I didn’t mean to snap at you, that was totally uncalled for and you were right, she was being unreasonable too.”

he inhales slowly, trying to stay calm as his mind scrambles and different scenarios of you not forgiving him play out.

“Would you look at me, please?” his voice leaks desperation, throat clogging up as he watches your eyes trail up from the floor to his face. he smiles as reassuringly as he can, gentle in a familiar way he hopes is comforting. “Do you mind if I come over there and give you a hug?”

you freeze, eyes widening slightly and Yeonjun prays to whoever is out there that you won’t decline; that you won’t reject him. he hopes he hasn’t messed up so bad that you could not handle even touching him.

but then you nod, ever so slightly and his shoulders relax.

he could fix this, he could come back from this grave mistake. he hasn’t lost your trust yet, and he smiles tearfully at the thought.

he moves with light, slow steps, trying his best not to seem large even if he does tower over you. once you are a touch away, he lifts his hands. you watch his arms intensely, eyes moving back and forth from his left to right hand.

he places them on your hips softly, before smoothing them behind your back and gently pulling your body into his. his arms wrap tighter as his head dips into your hair, smelling your favorite perfume and sighing at the comforting scent.

“I’m so sorry, I was being a complete ass just now. I didn’t mean to make you feel unsafe, I should’ve realized.” his voice cuts through the silence, and you exhale shakily at the genuine apology that falls from his lips. you know he didn’t mean to scare you or get so angry, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

“S’fine,” you whisper, though the tears that continue to leak from your eyes tell a different story. Yeonjun hugs you closer as your arms remain limp on your sides, until you feel him begin to tremble that you decide to reciprocate his hug.

you pat his back softly as he speaks. “I’m sorry, really. I shouldn’t have acted like that no matter what, you were right.” he swallows harshly and moves away, teary eyes mirroring yours.

“I’ll talk to my mother, she did disrespect you and I should’ve been a better boyfriend. That’s entirely on me, and I’m so fucking sorry.”

you sniffle quietly, taking his face in your hands and pulling him close, pressing a fleeting kiss on his forehead. “I won’t say you’re forgiven yet, but I understand. Please speak to her.”

he nods seriously, and you sigh as the tension leaves from your shoulders. because even though your argument with Yeonjun had shaken you, you know you two can get past this. with his comforting words and gentle embrace, you sink into his chest as you wrap your arms around his torso. you enjoy the silence that accompanies his steady heart beat, smiling softly as you feel him place a kiss on your head.

“I love you, y/n.”

the words are whispered carefully and softly, a declaration of love that must be both shown with his actions yet also spoken and communicated. you smile into his shoulder, inhaling his calming camomile scent.

“I love you too.”

@scuzmunkie <3

[youalreadyhavefullresults]

the mindset journey

So hi.

My mindset has been evolving a lot ever since I started this journey, and I thought I'd lay it all out in one post. Subliminals, mindless affirming, scripting, visualization, states. I've tried so many things out, and I think I've finally figured out what works for me.

TLDR:

Stop “trying” to manifest or checking the 3d, you already have full results, creation was over like since forever.

Sure you know that you’re God, as the posts and everything you’ve seen tells you, but have you really embraced that internally?

It doesn’t matter how many posts you read, it’s up to you to actually change your mindset.

Logic is literally useless, be delusional (don’t you just wanna go ape-shit :), go get your fucking desires)

Time is not linear, and means nothing when manifesting.

Revision is so powerful, use it.

It’s just so easy guys, please just make sure you’re actually applying the information you see instead of just passively scrolling through.

And the rest is under the cut, happy reading <33

I started off in the subliminal community in Oct 2020 and just had so many limiting beliefs, it was sad. Not to shit on the community or anything, some of them are wonderful people and most of them have changed their mindset as well, but my initial knowledge prevented me from getting to this point until now. But, now I’m here, and a day after I wrote this in my drafts, I literally manifested my ideal life. I originally started this blog to collect advice from loa blogs, but honestly, I don’t need any of it anymore. Though I do like helping people, so if you have any questions, feel free to shoot me an ask.

The Initial Mindset:

I always read through countless posts that say “You’re God” and “You literally can get what you want without even trying.” While I understood the text and adopted the mindset, I still did little subconscious things that contradicted it. While I affirmed my self-concept was perfect, I would also cram-study for exams and worry I would fail. I would say I look perfect, but then also worry about the way my body looked. Also, the way that I literally became obsessed with loa media? I spent hours watching Sammy Ingram videos, looping subliminals, and reading tumblr posts on “how to manifest faster and better”. During this phase of my life, my mind was plagued with intrusive thoughts and my self-concept was slowly getting better, but still absolute shit. I would manifest things here and there, but nothing life-changing.

The main problem however, was the fact that I would treat manifesting like a task I HAD to do. Now that school was back in session, I literally would zone out during specific classes on purpose and just affirm to myself. I would feel bad if I hadn’t listened to my subliminal playlist for the day because I “wasted time in getting my desires”. There’s nothing wrong with vainly affirming or listening to subs if you believe it works, but for me, treating manifesting like a task meant that I was looking for an outcome. Clearly, now I know better, that everything is always done and that there’s nothing to complete, but back then, this was probably the main reason why I struggled to see full results easily. I was acting out of desperation and didn't believe manifestation already was done.

When Everything Changed:

I know that it’s different for everyone, but my “aha!” moment was probably when I read this post. Seriously, go read it, it made me realize that I was going about it all wrong. Now, it wasn’t learning how to perfect my manifesting, it was learning to pull out the tiny limiting beliefs that had burrowed its way into my subconscious.

For example,

“I need to do xyz so that I can get my manifestations.”

Why would I would need to do anything if I already have all of my manifestations hmm? It’s literally already done. Like there’s no need to put in that effort into something that’s already perfect right? So why do I need to even need to try? I literally get whatever tf I want without even trying. This doesn’t mean that every method out there is useless, but in the end, you are the one doing the manifesting, not the method.

“But... this makes absolutely no logical sense! How would this even work?”

I know that STEM me loves finding the logic behind everything, so that’s why I struggled a lot with the logic and time aspect. But darling, it doesn’t need to make sense. There are literally so many things in the world that scientists to this day can’t explain, including just how powerful and complex your brain is. Not to mention the fact that concepts such as logic and science are literally man-made too? What’s the point in trying to deal with logic? Just let go and have fun.

“I affirmed so hard, and I believed it. But then it never showed up when the time came.”

First off, your time spent affirming means nothing, sorry to break it to you. It’s about the mindset(your state if you will) you currently exist in that truly makes a difference. And just because it didn’t show up today doesn’t mean that you missed your window of opportunity. Revision is still manifesting, because time is not a linear concept. Anything at any time can just change with a snap of your fingers. You want to change all of your test scores? Bam, it’s done. you wish WW2 never happened? Bam, it’s done. You want to relive the past 5 years of your life? Bam, it’s done. It doesn’t matter what the event is, what time it is, or that you “didn’t do it before the deadline”. Whenever you do get it(which is instant/soon if you're persisting properly), it will be there, seamlessly blended in with your 3d. You don’t need to worry about a damn thing, your subconscious will take care of everything for you.

“Oh no! I just had intrusive thoughts, did I just mess up my manifestations?”

Why are you giving intrusive thoughts the power to do anything? Sure, you may get them, but that doesn’t mean that they have any effect on you. It’s the doubt they make you feel in your mindset that truly messes it up. Don’t give in. Acknowledge the thought, accept that it literally means nothing, and continue to persist. Your thoughts only have the power you give them.

“Nah, everyone has to be lying, this doesn’t seem real.” / ”Manifesting must just be a coincidence, there’s no way this is real.”

Oh? So you’re saying, the amount of posts you’ve seen, all of the success stories, all of the followers and comments, are you saying every single one of them is lying? No. I’m not saying that every single one of them is truthful, but there’s no way that every single one of them would lie and put this much work into something that’s not real. If you find yourself struggling to believe in the law, I’d suggest you try to manifest something small, and then build up your belief from there. I sure as hell didn’t believe in any of this from the beginning, but then, I manifested consciously for the first time. Again, and again. It became easier, and my life got better. It soon becomes apparent that literally everything you think happens. I always used to wonder how things I randomly thought in the back of my head always happened even though I literally didn’t do anything about it in the 3d. This proved to me that your mental state is more powerful than it seems.

“Can I manifest-”

Yes. Just yes. You’re GOD. GOD. Why tf is God asking some random loa account if they can manifest something or not? Ofc God would know that they can manifest whatever the fuck they want instantly. Do you think when God said “Let there be light”, he first asked people around him if he could? No. He took that shit and just fucking ran with it.

“But-but, what if-”

Uh-uh. I don’t want to fucking hear it. Like I said in the previous section, stop overthinking everything you do. Just go. Run with what you already know and manifest the life of your dreams. You don’t need to keep looking for new information, some specific post that changes everything for you. All they can do for you is steer you in the right direction. You’re the one who’s going to have to figure out our mindset and pull yourself together, no one else can do it. Take back your power, embrace it. I don’t care if you unfollow every single loa account or delete tumblr, just stop looking for the next post. Why would you need more information when you already have everything you need?

I wrote down everything I struggled with, forgot about it, and continued to persist in my new mindset. I ignored any negative 3d circumstances, and just vibed in the feeling that my desires were already here, that feeling of contentment someone has when everything in their life is just amazing. The main question I asked myself was, what would a person who had ____ think, and I went from there. Soon the things I wanted just started popping up in my life, just as I knew it would. I feel like the things I’ve said in this post are pretty much the same concepts you see all over loa tumblr, which is why it’s so important that you actively take in the information that’s being given to you and actually apply it. I was obsessed with tumblr and kept on scrolling through countless blogs and posts, and I was only able to fully manifest after I stepped away from all of that. There is no big secret. There’s no miraculous method that will fix everything for you. There’s just... you. And your subconscious. Whatever you tell your subconscious, goes. As simple as that.

How about, instead of scrolling to whatever next loa post you were about to see on this app, you close tumblr and just go live your best life? Don’t overcomplicate it and just do whatever feels natural to you. I hope this post helped, happy manifesting!

-cinna