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anotherpapercut · 1 year ago

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College Resources

hey y'all so I have a degree in math, and have been tutoring college level math, stats, physics, and study skills for a few years now and I have several certifications as a college level tutor and in my years tutoring I've picked up a lot of absolutely essential things you NEED to know to pass math classes (and others!) if you have a hard time in math class, which unfortunately most schools will not teach you

so if you're in college (or high school, but some of these will be college specific) and you would like to hear my Professional Tips for how to survive math in college I have compiled a list of things I think you should know below the read more! I'm going to put a couple general tips at the top though for people who aren't taking a math class

alright, welcome to the read more! let's start with some general things

ok I'm starting with a kind of tip before the tips: if you are disabled, talk to disability support services at your school. a lot of times they provide services to attain a diagnosis if you don't have one, but if you do it's typically pretty easy to get accommodations and if your teachers try not to follow them, they will get in A LOT of trouble (I'm in the us so idk how disability laws are in other countries but here this is a big deal for universities bc public funding etc and if you make a complaint they will be FORCED to comply). I'm not saying bad experiences never happen, I've not been to every school in the us and I'm sure there are places that suck abt this, but I literally would not have been able to get a degree in math without accommodations (I'm autistic and have dyscalculia + memory issues) so it was worth every annoyed sigh by a dumbass teacher (which honestly rarely happened. most of them were cool). some possible accommodations include, extra time on tests, separate testing locations, formula cards, ability to use notes etc etc

I work in a free tutoring center at my local community college. while I won't say these are definitely universal, every college I have encountered (in the US, where I live) has one of these. Google the name of your school with tutoring. there is a very high chance you have free tutors available in a variety of subjects who are ready to help you. you should utilize the fuck out of this bc ur already probably paying for it in ur tuition

my favorite resource ever is one you may have heard of but I'm reminding you of it anyway. the Crash Course YouTube channel! it has free comprehensive videos about various subjects (including anatomy, physics, biology, economics, statistics and lots lots more). the videos are about 10 minutes each and they're incredibly easy to understand. they're an amazing way to study for finals. trust me on this one. they actually now have real introductory college courses that you can take for credit (tho I think you have to pay for that?) through YouTube so check into that!

take notes!!!!!!!! for real. seriously. even if you've never had to before. trust me. and don't just copy exactly what the board says, write what your teacher says out loud as well, that is often the most important stuff. I highly recommend investing in a few colored pens and/or highlighters. anytime the teacher says something important (such as formulas in a math class or a grammar rule in an English class) either write it in another color, or highlight it. color coding your notes even the tiniest bit will help you tremendously when you're studying and doing homework later. this doesn't mean having a color code so elaborate and strict that you're spending more time and energy figuring out the right color than listening and writing. I usually do the bulk of my notes in black then things like formulas or whatever in one bright color and extra bits of info from the teacher in another, this way it's easier to find the important stuff later on

if you've got a couple extra bucks, invest in a mini stapler. you'll be shocked how often those lil bitches come in handy

DO NOT EVER purchase your text books before the classes start (unless you get like an email before class starts telling you you need the book, but this is pretty rare tbh). half of your teachers are going to tell you on day 1 that they don't use the book at all. and honestly almost all of your books can be found by googling the name + pdf. just triple check that you have the correct edition!

speaking of emails, CHECK YOUR FUCKING SCHOOL EMAIL. I am so dead serious about this one. set up notifications on your phone. if you do not check your email you are going to show up for cancelled classes, miss assignment corrections, and generally not do nearly as well in your classes. I know this sounds fake but holy fucking shit please for the love of all that is good and holy check your fucking email. seriously.

the best way to study for your finals is to look at past tests and homework! if your teacher isn't a total dick they'll give you back your tests and homework. when studying for your final, go through and redo any that you got wrong, and look over the ones you got right. teachers usually take final questions from old tests and homework so if you do this it's very possible you'll study your exact finals questions. if they won't give you these back, reread your notes (in a way I'll describe in a moment)

reread your notes the same day you take them or very soon after so the lecture is still fresh in your mind! when you do this, grab a colored pen and take notes on your notes. I know this sounds ridiculous but it's actually a very important study tool. if you come across something you wrote that is confusing, write out an explanation. write down extra things that will help you understand the material. if there's something that you don't understand or don't remember PLEASE ask your teacher. some of them won't answer email so catch them in office hours or after class if you can. at the end of the semester when you're studying for finals, do this all over again but through your whole notebook for the semester (not all at once. pls take breaks lmfao)

if your teacher doesn't offer it up at the end of the semester, ask "can you please tell us some of the topics we should emphasize when studying for our finals?" (you can also say this in a far less pretentious way but I've found that professors are more likely to give you a real answer if you talk like this ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) I'm ngl, some of em will be assholes about this. they may laugh at the idea and snarkily say "look at your homework" or some shit equivalent. roll your eyes at these old bitches and move on. but many if not most will at least give y'all some idea of what to expect. and crucially: write down what they say and use it as a study guide

okey dokey!! that concludes the general section. now I'm gonna talk about some math specific stuff that will help you a lot if you struggle with math!

starting with an easy one: get a good calculator. please for the love of GOD do not get the TI-30X IIS unless you love it and are EXTREMELY familiar with all of the different operations. I'm sorry but this calculator sucks ass and it will hold you back. for about the same price you can get my personal favorite the Casio FX-115ES Plus (1st edition only, I haven't tried the 2nd edition bc I don't like change) or an FX-991 EX. if you're a Texas instruments guy get a TI 30XS or if ur doing calc and shit I'd get a 36X pro. I just prefer Casio personally lmao. in all likelihood your math teacher will be a calculator nerd who can teach you how to use any of these but there are also lots of videos made by calculator nerds on YouTube as well

so next I just want to emphasize how important your notes are. you cannot pass a math class without good notes unless it's a class you've already taken or something, and honestly even then I'd recommend you write some stuff down because the thing about math is there are a lot of different ways to do the same thing. which brings me to my next point

pay attention to the process your teacher uses to solve problems (I'll give an example in a sec) and especially to how they write the process down. if you're like me and you have trouble with the whole "show your work" thing this will help a lot, because you can use what your teacher writes down as a guideline for what you should write down. for instance, you may have learned about a math concept like permutations and combinations in high school one way, and then be taught a completely different way of performing the calculation in college. if this happens, ask your teacher about your way. sometimes their way is better for a specific reason and it's really important that you learn it. sometimes they'll say it doesn't matter just do what makes the most sense to you. sometimes you will also not get full credit if you do things a different way too so be careful and pay attention to what your teacher says abt it. you may have also been taught to show some steps in an operation but not others and your new teacher may want all of them. or none. or different ones. unfortunately math has a lot of variations

similarly, if there's a concept you don't understand, start by asking your teacher about it first bc they may want you doing a specific thing. if they're not helpful and you don't have access to a tutor turn to the internet. here are my recommendations for resources: Khan Academy has videos and examples explaining concepts in pretty much all types of math. usually really helpful because they'll show you several different methods and use different explanations, MathWay for classes that come before trig/calc. you can use it for those but it's a little more annoying lol specifically in regards to graphing and solving integrals and shit. this tool has A LOT of stuff in it but is best as a calculator to check your work on stuff and for showing you graphs that have transformations and shit like that from college algebra. it's got settings for different math types and even chemistry tho!, for more complicated graphing I'd use Desmos. you can use this in all classes but it's just a bit more complicated imo and it's more made for complex operations so I prefer to use MathWay as much as possible bc it's just more user friendly., there's also Symbolab which a lot of my fellow tutors really like but I personally tend to use the others more, Wolfram Alpha is a pretty well known one. tbh I find it kind of hard to use sometimes so i usually use it as a last resort lmfao but it is really good!, this last one is calculus specific (including things like calc based physics ofc) but derivative calculator and integral calculator are everything to me. could not have gotten through calc 2 and 3 w/o these mfs

OK THIS PART IS REALLY IMPORTANT!! we're going to talk about how you can make your math tests WAY easier on you and massively improve your chances of passing. here's what you're going to do for every test

1. when studying for your test, go through and find ALL formulas that you used in the unit(s) your test is over (this includes formulas you learned previously but used in this unit as well!!)

2. commit them to memory. easiest way to do this (besides practicing using them!!) is to rewrite them a few times including what you use them for and what all of the symbols and letters stand for

3. when you go in to take your test, spend like 5-10 minutes beforehand, right up until they make you put everything away, studying and rewriting these

4. the SECOND the test hits your desk, flip it over and write down every single formula immediately (including as much extra info like when to use and variable definitions as possible). now you won't have to try to remember them 30 minutes in when your brain is frying!!

5. go through the test and read each question carefully. if you can't remember how to solve it within 30 seconds skip it. you might only do 4 or 5 questions (maybe less depending on the length of your test) after the first pass, but just go back to the beginning and do it again, giving urself a little more time w each pass. this will ensure that you're not spending 45 minutes on problem 4 and having no time to get to the rest of the test. additionally with math it is extremely common to basically find the answer to how to do one problem while you're doing another problem. doing the ones you know first will also boost your confidence and help prevent anxiety from wiping ur brain. this is a really really important part of math tests

6. before you hand your test in, make sure you've written SOMETHING down on EVERY SINGLE QUESTION. even if you have absolutely 0 idea whatsoever what to do, there is always a chance for partial credit. a lot of times, you also know more than you think you do. so even if you can only do half a step of the whole process, half a point is better than 0!! if you really have no clue what to do, make something up. I know this probably sounds ridiculous but I'm so deadass. once I was taking a physics test and could not for the life of me remember what formula to use so I just made one up based on my vague idea of how it worked lmao. I wrote off to the side "I know this isn't how physics works, but I can't remember that so just pretend I'm god for a second" and I got like 75% of the points bc the teacher appreciated the effort!! there were fucking countless times when I was taking a test and I got to a point where I knew the steps of what I was supposed to do but could not figure out HOW to actually DO the math. so I wrote in words my understanding of what the next steps were. even though I didn't finish answering the question, I always got points for trying. this is what teachers are wanting from you. effort. so PLEASE write literally anything even if you're just making that shit up (just explain your reasoning in words to the side, as long as you're using logic you're really getting the essence of math anyway). you would not BELIEVE how fast your grades will improve by doing this. I tutored a girl who went from Ds to Bs within literally 2 weeks of starting tutoring just because she stopped leaving any questions blank and started getting partial credit

that's all the important stuff I can think of for now though I'm sure there's much more so I may update this in the future!

of course everyone is going to have a different experience and relationship with math. so adjust all of these tips to fit how you learn best. please try to remember that learning math is a very important part of developing your critical reasoning and logistical analysis skills. these are essential to understanding and interacting with the world and math is just a way of exercising those muscles. trust me when I say I know how infuriating math can be. I have dyscalculia and a math degree. I've spent so many hours crying over math you probably wouldn't even believe me. but it's worth it! and frankly, if you're in college, you're paying a lot of money for this class. you deserve to get everything you possibly can out of it

above all, if you're having trouble ASK FOR HELP. ask your teacher, ask your classmates, ask the head of the department, ask student services, ask Google!! and if you need help you can always ask me! :) I love helping people with this stuff and even if I don't know the answer to your question I'm pretty good at knowing where to look for them!

#this is so long and im praying the readmore works #this has been in my drafts for like a year sjdbakhdwihddnemsodm #college resources #math resources #forgot that tumblr builds in its own readmore now #good enough right?

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djangari · 3 months ago

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Ok... Seriously it's hard to start somewhere, so I'll start with the worldbuilding first.

If you just want to know something about Superheros Vale/Marc and a bit of what happened, scroll down, it's gonna be the next post.

Firstly. Before all of that, I want to make clear, this are only parts of what happened :)

Because I want to continue this story, maybe even write a prequel to it, so some things will be kept out / censored to not spoiler anything.

Forgot something, including it now: This whole AU plays in a theoretical future. So it should be further developed than we are.

WORLDBUILDING

-> Superheros

What is a superhero defined as in this story?

Easy. A for a crisis trained non-governmental individual with supernatural abilitys, who works for a sub group of the Federal Institution of Mutants (short FIM)

(Yeah, I'm german, I have to create something like this, sorry)

What do these Teams?

They coordinate their forces, consisting of a teams of heroes. So they basically give you missions and watch out you don't do any bullshit. And the FIM is the supervisor for the teams. If you do something stupid/ break laws they will give that info to the FIM and they will punish you. For that they have agents, also individuals with supernatural powers, but they work for the government. Usually they are just called "The task force" or "Silencer", because well... If they have to hunt you, you're gonna be silent... forever.

Are there any other humans with supernatural powers than those two groups?

Of course!

Firstly, normal humans who live a normal life can also have Powers. They need to be registered and have a licence to use their powers in public, but they live normally and peacefully without mich discrimination.

Secondly, Antiheros and Villains also exist. Hero's usually don't get missions that have to do with catching normal criminals, they are mostly responsible for people with Powers. The police still handles the normal cases. And yes, there are also powerless Villains and Antiheros.

A bit more about that....

There are groups that live half in the shadow and do work that ... Hero's aren't really associated with.

Some are government overseen, for most that's not the case.

Then there are the Villains, those who intentionally use their powers for "evil" (anything super unlawfully that mostly includes killing innocents). Bad guys Hero's need to fight in 90% of times.

On the other hand, Antiheros exist too. Those are people with powers and an own moral compass, so for any reason, they don't want to or can't work with the government. Therefore, they can't be in public teams. So they go out on their own. The options about those differ heavily, but mostly it's like an "You help me and do no bad and I haven't seen you/ couldn't catch you" kind of deal from the side of the hero's.

Because if this, an "underworld" exists too... It's basically a black market you need a lot of contacts for and most of them protect each other. Because yes, corruption exists, it's not ultra common, but it exists.

The is also a kind of King of the underworld [SPOILER] :D

Examples for public teams:

It just fits too good, so here they are. There are main teams and they also sometimes have secondary teams.

Ducati (Main)

\ Gresini

\ Prima Pramac

So this is the ducati to give an example. Same is with Yamaha (most likely with Suzuki as a sister/ underteam? Haven't decided yet) [SPOILER]

Also there are Aprilia (Trackhouse), Honda (LCR), KTM (GasGas)

NEED TO FIND BETTER NAMES THO

Drivers (Hero's) will be mixed up and sorted how I want it/ how it works fir the story.

But what do these Teams do now?

Normally they work either in Duos for small missions, but for crisis they collect under the Main teams and function as group.

In that case the team leader structure goes as shown from up to down.

But how are the leader determined?

Good Question. One would maybe assume the Main Rider would just be the team leader, but this differs actually from reality sometimes (also because I mix teams like I want) For this, usually the Hero with more Points is chosen for the leader role.

What are points?

Points, long PowerPoints (hehe), or also short as PP, are level the readers are sorted in.

The more powerful your power is, your use of it, the more experience you got, your ability to work in groups or lead, all this and more is counted in your points and then turned into a Level.

So your Level shows how strong you are?

Yup, exactly. Some underdogs obviously exist but the levels are mostly accurate.

Small note: I myself actually use math to determine levels, by using driver stats as basis. However, I'll make another post for this to further explain it and show the calculation and the ranking list.

What's about the powers?

I'll make also a post about this, because I actually based it on biology... to be exact on a mix of mutation and epigenetics.

To break it down, you got a small chance you could be born with powers, even when your parents are powerless.

Powers are also called Mutanics.

Mostly, they are given sort of random, you can really get everything.

Overall, Powers can be sorted into five categories.

Psychic, Force, Morphing, Elements/Atoms and Reality.

Mixes can exist, but that is mostly due to one category slightly overlapping with others, however the trigger of your power is still in the category.

Psychic: Mind abilities, telekinesis and so on

Force: Powers that affect your Body or your surroundings and are mostly based on your strength (which can also be pushed) Could also include creating something? That's not very common tho. More common are physical power enhancer or force fields or something like this.

Morphing: Quite literally changing something, maybe fastening a process. Shapeshifter? You are a morpher. Illusions? Morpher. (As long as you actually turn that object and just don't make everybody see is as this objects) You let flowers grow faster? Morpher.

Elements/ Atoms: Basically the same, but sometimes devided because they might show differently. The base is to feel/control any Atoms and therefore Elements. Like you can guide the electric in the air? Great, you got a lightning! However, it is devided to know what you're able to do. You can only control electric? Elementarist. You can control the electric between Atoms or even Atoms themselves? Atomist. (That's where false things might sneak in, cause I'm not good in chemistry at all :/)

Reality: Most powerful, but also hardest to control and super duper rare. It's something like time traveling. Knowing what reality is and being able to overstep the limits of reality for a bit, like stepping behind a line no-one really can see or overstep and then just stay there while everything else continues.

This was a bit much now...

Might sound confusing, so I explain it on Vale's powers.

Valentino Rossi

Hero Name: Doctor

Power Name: Examination

Category: Psychic

He is able to examine the behavior of others and the situation around him in such a way that he can guess what will happen next.

[CENSORED]

This is based on his mind and therefore psychic skills. With using his powers potential (a kind of all out mode), he is able to shift reality a bit. So could also fit there. Still, the ability is based on his psychic powers. He is just able to use it to overstep the line for a second, what he isn't able to do often. Actually its really unique that he is able to do this.

Another example, teleporting. You dismember all your atoms and send them to one place and rebuild them. But this would mean your brain wouldn't exist for a while. So this is actually a mix, because you need Reality powers to stay coherent during this and not just split yourself in star dust and stop existing :)

So we talked about Powers... (will make another post, just like I said, and also give an overview of the Powers from the characters. If you got any idea tho, feel free to comment, because I am still searching for Powers for some people.) And we also talked about the way the Hero branche works (it's a bit deeper, but then it would get tooo long, so we do that in between or on another day)

I'll continue this in a second post, coming in a few hours! Just wanted to finally upload this, even when I still need to write out the second half. Hope you enjoyed this and aren't annoyed by the many informations... It's just my baby and I have really thought about it for quite some time, so I got a lot of ideas.

In the next post: Timeline about Vale&Marc hehe, including a bit of what happened :)

#motogp #writing #superhero au #worldbuilding #vasquez

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oraclekleo · 3 years ago

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Jung Yunho (TVXQ) Relationship Role Analysis based on Tarot Reading

Hello and welcome!

I’m Kleo and I’m here to present some k-pop related tarot readings to you.

Disclaimer:

I would like to state that all these readings have a purely entertainment nature and their purpose is to bring some fun into my and hopefully yours lives. I have never ever met any of the idols / actors / celebrities in my readings, I don’t know them personally. Tarot reading isn’t an exact science and I can never guarantee any of it. Most of it is my intuition mixed with fantasy. Don’t take these readings seriously and don’t base any important decisions on tarot readings only, use your common sense.

If you wish to request a tarot reading, please read the pinned post on my profile first to see the instructions on how to request. I only do readings for idols / actors / celebrities of 18 years of age or older. Requests for readings including younger people will be automatically dismissed. If you feel uncomfortable with these tarot readings, do not engage in reading my posts. Thank you for understanding.

Reading Info:

Rating: 18+

Reading Type: Single - Couple

Requested: Yes - No

Deck: E. A. Poe

Spread: Relationship Role

Questions:

Friend

Boyfriend

Lover

Husband

One-Night-Stand

Full Name: Jung Yunho

Stage Name: U-Know / Yunho

Group: TVXQ / Tohoshinki / Solo

Jung Yunho

Yunho / U-Know (TVXQ / Tohoshinki / Solo)

Spread: Relationship Role

Deck: Poe

Friend - Ace of Swords, 5 of Swords

Yunho is a loyal, pragmatic and smart friend to have. He’s reliable and always full of ideas and wisdom, he’s highly moral and with a clear vision of how the world should spin around. However, as much as he’s an excellent ally to have your back, he’s a rather fierceful foe. His razor sharp instinct can spot any kind of lie, disguise or manipulation. His friendship is hard to gain and once he judges someone unworthy and expels them, coming back is impossible. Trust once lost is lost forever.

Boyfriend - 6 of Wands, Ace of Pentacles

Yunho might become a rather demanding boyfriend. He’s in the spotlight and that comes with a certain status and reputation. His partner needs to be aware of that. Yunho seeks a mature and representative partner to stay by his side. He will not take any humiliation in public. He’s generous with money and will insist on dating in the most exclusive locations, going for lavish vacations and enjoying the best the life can offer.

Lover - Ace of Wands, 9 of Swords

Yunho might take his time to actually escalate the relationship to the physical level. He probably had some bad experience in the past and it’s still haunting him. He needs to first get to know his lover properly, make sure they can be trusted. Once he’s sure about that, he becomes a very passionate and powerful lover with flaming creativity. He’s inventive and confident, he’s likely an avid kisser, he especially enjoys the deep all consuming kisses escalating into heated make out sessions and further into the night full of passion.

Husband - X The Wheel of Fortune, 3 of Cups

Husband Yunho is the true companion for life. Nothing can sway him, he’s deeply faithfull and will be there for his spouse through thick and thin, in both good and bad till death makes them apart. Marriage is an institution Yunho would find true happiness in. It’s not easy for him to take that step but once he actually finds the partner for life, he will be happy in the marriage.

One-Night-Stand - 6 of Pentacles, Knight of Swords

Yunho is a highly moral person. The mere thought of a one night stand seems shameful to him. He’s likely to judge anyone who would express some sort of sympathies to random affairs. He’s not likely to have a one night stand but if it does happen, it’s likely in some sort of an erratic state, a temporal eclipse of his mind, more likely initiated by the other person. Afterwards he would add the experience to the list of life mistakes and never talk about it again.

Thank you for reading!

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brattyfics · 4 years ago

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Like That

Pairing: Rio x Black!Reader

Summary: You and Rio get to know each other better. Loosely based on ‘Like That’ by Doja Cat.

Warnings: Smut.

Word Count: 3.5K

Installments: Say So | Like That | Talk Dirty

And baby, I want it, and I'll just be honest 'Cause I just can't front when I look at you

About six weeks have passed since Rio declared himself your man, and you quickly learned he took the title very seriously.

He was busier than usual with ‘flipping his game,’ and you were busy preparing to transition your shop, but you saw each other often despite time constraints. You agreed date nights at least once a week were a must, but when you couldn’t see each other, Rio made sure to end nights with a phone call. Virtually falling asleep next to him gave you butterflies, reminding you just how exciting new relationships could be. It took prodding, but he told you made-up bedtime stories and the boring details of his day. In return, you shared things about yourself— childhood memories, the crazy things your mom did to embarrass you. He was sweet and attentive, and you found it refreshing to be with someone who was just as infatuated with you.

On your second date, he took you to his favorite restaurant, a fancy sushi place with expensive rolls. He taught you to hold chopsticks the wrong way the way he did and even fed you across the small table, a couple of unfortunate rolls falling apart due to his prodding. You tried your best to hide your amusement at the pensive look on his face. For whatever reason, Rio thought of himself as a sushi connoisseur, but it was clear to you that he was still learning.

“You’re no better than me!” He admonished when he noticed the way you held your chopsticks. Like his technique, it was incorrect, but it worked for you— sort of. “I never said I was.” You couldn’t keep the amusement off your face any longer. “You’re the one who comes here weekly. I thought you were a professional, and we’re in the same boat.” He folded his arms on top of the table as he insisted you were wrong, but secretly he found your teasing endearing. Later that night, he called and gave you a cheesy line about loving to see you smile.

The following week, you had lunch at a mom-and-pop soul food restaurant that served the best cornbread and peach cobbler in the city. The owners, an adorable older couple, Donna and Gene, and servers alike stopped by your table to meet Rio. Donna gushed over Rio, showering him with compliments and extra cornbread. “Girl, he is cute!” She told you, failing miserably at whispering. He smirked as you rolled your eyes, but he handled the attention well, being friendly and personable even when Gene kept going on and on about changes to the menu, one chef to another.

A few days later, he called you up randomly and asked you to get ready and ride with him somewhere. “What should I wear?” You asked, hoping for a hint. You could hear him smile as he said, “It doesn’t even matter, ma. You always look good.” The occasion had turned out to be ‘Foodtruck Friday.’ Barbecue, kebab, taco, ice cream, and other miscellaneous food trucks were parked in a spacious lot in Downtown Detroit. You settled at a picnic table and shared several plates of food as you discussed the possibility of your own mobile ‘Mad Batter’ shop somewhere down the line. It got you thinking about the future.

“Where do you see yourself in five years?” You asked the dreaded question in between bites of a colorful Korean fusion taco. He stiffened as he considered the answer. “What is this, a job interview?” Sometimes you saw peeks of bossman Rio rather than the Christopher Castillo you were getting to know. It happened seemingly out of nowhere when you asked questions he felt were invasive.

You looked up from the panko-fried shrimp, red cabbage, shredded carrots, and tasty orange sauce wrapped up in a flour tortilla with a frown. You had two choices: respond in the way he had or make light of the situation. So, you said, “Kinda. You’re auditioning for a spot on my roster, so...”

He stopped chewing the half-eaten dumpling and swallowed hard. “That’s not funny.”

“You better start taking the interviewing part of the audition more seriously then.” You wiped your fingers on a napkin, and he gathered your hand in his own, wearing a look you couldn’t decipher. “You got it, ma.”

You played a game of mini-golf at the local arcade. Rio stood tall behind you, holding you by your hips as he corrected your stance. You purposefully arched your back, brushing against him just slightly. “Like this?” You looked over your shoulder with the most innocent look you could muster, but his eyes were glued to your ass. “Yeah, just like that.” He answered in a low tone without looking up. You giggled as you took your swing, adding a wiggle for his benefit. You pretended to care about the ball as it glided across the bright green tarp towards the hole. “How was that?” You chirped, looking down the lane.

“I can’t even lie. I don’t care about the game right now. I just wanna watch you.” Your aim was terrible, and the ball never went in the hole without several attempts, but he insisted you finish playing the course. You teased him about it for days after despite his claim that he actually enjoyed the game because it was one of Marcus’ favorites.

“Stop lying! You just wanted an excuse to openly watch my ass.”

“Why you always gotta call me out?”

You shopped a cozy health and wellness store with hundreds of cool little trinkets for sale. Neither of you had been there before, so you took your time exploring, stealing unexpected kisses from the other. Rio took full advantage of the size of the store, pulling you by the hand and holding you close to his side.

He frowned at the large collection of shiny crystals. “A rock, really? What does anybody need with a rock?”

“It’s not a rock!” You hissed, head whipping around as you hoped the owner didn’t hear him.

“What is it then? It looks like a rock to me.” He picked one up, turning it over in his hands.

“It’s a crystal!”

“What’s the difference?”

“It has healing properties...” Rio snorted but strung his arm across your shoulder and listened intently as you read the info cards to him. When it was all said and done, he bought an aventurine stone to apologize to the owner for prosperity, well-being, and good luck.

The next day, he disappeared with no warning. You had been worried sick until Mick let you know he was busy handling something. It would have only taken a minute to tell you that, so you were (understandably) pissed. He showed up at the shop several days later like nothing had ever happened. “What’s up, mama?” The greeting that usually melted you grated on your nerves. All of your feelings about the situation bubbled up to the surface. It was hard to find the right words— you were still getting to know each other, so how mad could you be? At the same time, how little did he think of you to not say anything? Finally, you settled on, “I can’t do the disappearing act.”

Rio wasn’t used to answering to anyone, not even his child’s mother, about his whereabouts, but he put his palms up in surrender when he saw the serious expression you wore.

“You’re right, mama. That’s my bad. It won’t happen again.”

And it hadn’t.

But knowing ahead of time only made it a tiny bit easier, especially when he didn’t have a set return date. You were going on day seven (the longest you had gone without seeing him since you started dating) when he called to say he made it home and wanted to see you. Your heavy heart swelled with relief. You missed him way more than you probably should have, so you insisted on a night in at your place, wanting him to feel relaxed and at home instead of on guard somewhere public.

It had been a long six weeks without sex while he romanced you with delicious food and beautiful words. It wasn’t an easy task, but you knew as soon as sex was thrown in the mix, you would be done for, either destined to be his or ruined by him. It was a scary thought, but distance had indeed made the heart grow fonder, and you cared about him enough to take a chance.

He was set to arrive within the hour, but you were still unsure of what to wear, frantically rummaging through the dresser for something cute and comfortable. You let out a frustrated groan when your phone started to ring, thinking Rio might have come early, but when you look down at your phone, you see your best friend’s name and face. You swipe quickly, accepting the FaceTime call. “Hey, girl!”

“Hey, stranger!” You pick up the phone, so you can look at her. “Really?”

“Yes, really.” She replies with just as much sass. “I haven’t talked to you in what— two weeks?”

“We talk—“

“—text.”

“Okay, fine. Text. We text every day. What are you talking about?”

“That’s not the same.” She insists even as you remind her of the ridiculous amount of time you spend trading memes and food pictures with her.

“Anyway, what are you doing?”

“I’m trying to decide what I’m going to wear between this, this, or this.” You move the camera around, showing her the different options. A black-and-white tank and short set with ‘Being cute is not a crime’ in a cute font. A fuzzy grey sweatsuit set with hearts, or a simple cream hoodie with matching shorts.

“Um, what’s the occasion?” You giggle at the look on her face, knowing she thinks none of the above are appropriate for wearing outside of the house.

“Movie night in.”

“You need help picking an outfit for movie night with yourself?” Her face scrunches up in confusion. “Wait, is it movie night with yourself?” You try to be casual about it, shrugging your shoulders in response. As usual, she sees through your bullshit and goes straight into an interrogation. “Oh, bitch. You been holding out on me!” She asks you five questions in a row without stopping to breathe before settling on one. “Who?”

You gnaw on your bottom lip. “...Rio.”

“Rio?” She frowns. “Like the guy we work for, Rio? With the eyebrows and the neck tattoo, Rio?”

“Yes, that Rio.”

“Wow.” You wince but decide it’s best to get it over with. “What? I know you, so I know there’s more where that came from.”

“I don’t know what to say! From what I can tell, he’s a decent dude, I guess, but you know what he does. You definitely know what we do for him! You don’t think that could be a problem?”

“It’s messy, for sure, and I can admit that, but I’ve been thinking about getting out anyway...” She nods. “Then, I guess there’s nothing else for me to say about that. You’re both grown, and you know what you’re doing.” She was your best friend, which meant she’d always give her honest opinion, but wouldn’t berate you about your choices. Just like that, you return to your regular discussion topics, everything from warehouse gossip (yes, even in the business of crime, there’s a rumor mill) to new music releases. Before you knew it, forty minutes had passed, and Rio was calling your phone. You promised to call her more often before hanging up.

You sing your ‘hello’ into the phone, hoping Rio can’t detect the shakiness in your voice as you clumsily pull on your bottoms.

“Hey, mama. You about ready? I know you’re sensitive about your space and all that.” He was referring to the fact that he had never been past the doorway of your home. Your home was your sacred place, so you were extra careful about who came in and what energy they brought. It was always nerve-wracking to let somebody into the space that you cherished so much.

“Yeah.” He picks up on the hesitancy in your voice. “Are you sure?” You nod your head as if he can see you before telling him yes with a giggle. “Alright, well, I’m outside. Can I come in?” You bite your lip, butterflies fluttering in your tummy. “Yeah, I’ll come unlock the door.” He whispers his thanks, and you take a moment to force yourself to relax. When you meet him at the door, you do so with an open mind and heart, taking in his appearance with a goofy grin on your face. As usual, he’s dressed in all black, wearing a well-fitted t-shirt and sweatpants. He’s casual but still so high quality and attractive.

“Hi.” You breathe out like a dork when you realize you’re staring. It helps that he seems just as mesmerized, stepping forward to envelop you in a tight, warm hug. He sways you from side to side before pulling back, his hands resting heavily on the top of your ass. He settles for a quick peck on the lips because he has something to say. “You’re as pretty as ever, darlin’.” He says earnestly, shaking his head as he steps back to look you over once more.

“Kiss me again.” His hands cup your ass as you devour each other in the open doorway. You forget your surroundings. “Damn, ma. Can I at least get inside before you jump my bones? I don’t mind giving your neighbors a show if that’s your thing, but…” You turn to hide your embarrassment, leaving him to close the door behind you as you gesture around the room as if you’re in an episode of MTV Cribs. “... here’s the living room. The kitchen’s through the arch. The bathroom’s over there...” He follows you with his red as you point.

“And the bedroom?”

You snort. “The tour stops here for now. Sit down.” Your tone leaves no room for argument. He settles into the soft couch while you grab the snack tray from the kitchen. Homemade popcorn, chocolate-covered pretzels, and dried fruit gummies are on the menu.

“All this for me?” His arms snake around your waist so that you can curl up into his side. “What we watching?” You grab the remote. “I saw a trailer this week that caught my attention. I’ll play it for you.” He didn’t care what you watched as long as he got to be close to you, so it didn’t take long for you to get the movie started. He stole glances at you when his knuckles brushed against your bare knees under the blanket. You’re embarrassed at how wet the small action makes you, so you stretch out across the couch and place your bare feet in his lap, silently planning your revenge. The movie may as well not be playing because you couldn’t be less interested in the plot as you lightly stroke him through his sweatpants with the balls of your feet.

“Ma...” He warns, watching you in the low lighting. He’s come to learn you like to tease, but he doesn’t think he can take it, not tonight. “Hmm?” You hum innocently, loving the strained look on your face. He doesn’t move even as you sit up on your haunches and kiss him. It’s slow and long in the best way. He pulls you to sit in his lap. His hands roam your body as you grind down onto him, relishing in the feeling of the soft skin on your tummy. He sighs into your mouth as one hand finds your bare breasts.

He pulls away to talk shit. “No bra? You just knew I was gonna put out, huh?” He pushes the cotton material up so he can see you properly. “Perfect.” He murmurs into your skin. You let him kiss and lick and suck on your nipples until the pressure you feel below is too much to handle. You’re a quivering mess when he finally helps you pull the cotton material up and over your head. It lands on top of the television behind you, but neither of you notice.

You nudge him until he removes his own shirt, and then he lifts his hips to help you when you begin tugging on his sweats. They puddle at his feet while you spread your legs wide, desperate to get your hands on him. “I could cry right now.” You admit honestly when you finally see him, biting your lip. He arches a brow. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing, darlin’?” His hips jerk when you take him into your hands, the cold temperature surprising him.

“It’s definitely a good thing.” You whisper excitedly, staring with wonder as he hardens in your hands. He barks out a laugh, stunned by your ability to make him laugh, even with his dick in your hands. “That’s really nice, ma. I feel real special.” Your eyes meet, and silent promises of all the filthy things you’re going to do to each other are exchanged. “You should. I’m about to change your life.” He throbs in your hands, loving that you find small ways to challenge him.

“Come on. Let’s go to bed.” He wraps his arms around you in preparation to get up, but you stop him with a shake of your head. “I don’t wanna.”

“No? What you wanna do then?”

You answer him by slipping to your knees. You spit on his dick, stroking him up and down slowly. He watches you closely as you lower your mouth, wrapping your lips around the tip. It takes a lot of restraint, but he lets you do your thing, slowly working him deeper into your throat. He closes his eyes as he concentrates on lasting, but he can’t turn his ears off, the obscene smacks painting a vivid picture for him. When you swipe your tongue across his balls, he moves to stop you, grabbing your shoulders. Fire dances in your eyes as you realize you got him where you want him. “I don’t wanna.” You repeat.

“You are a brat.”

You release him with a pop. “The biggest.” You admit, swallowing him once more. He groans, thinking he can’t believe you’re the same sweet girl who bakes in a frilly pink apron and begs him to tell her bedtime stories.

“I want you to fuck me now.” He stops you before you can bend over the couch. “Slow down. I want you on your back, darlin.”

You throw his earlier words back at him. “That’s nice. I feel really special.”

“You should.” He mocks you, instructing you to hold your legs wide. He wastes no time licking and sucking you as enthusiastically as you had done him. “You’re so pretty. I could eat this pretty pussy forever.” He compliments as you squirm in his hold. “You’d let me, huh?” You shake your head frantically. “No! You’d drive..me crazy!” Payback is a mother, especially when Rio’s the one dishing it out. “Wait, wait—“You whimper, clawing at his shoulders.

“What?” He cajoles. He almost wants to laugh at the distressed look on your face. “I want you.” You pout, trying to sweet-talk him.

“You have me.”

“Not like this. Inside.”

“Yeah? You sure?”

“Mhm.” You swallow, watching as he fumbles around with his pants searching for a condom. He opens the golden foil packet with expert fingers, positioning himself in between your spread legs. “You don’t have any pointers for me now?” He drags his tip up and down your slit, slowly pushing his way further. Teasing. You shake your head. “No. Just fuck me.”

“That ain’t polite. You gotta say please, mama.” You scowled, but he didn’t budge. “Please.” You pleaded with the sweetest tone you could muster, sighing as he gave in. You cursed at the stretch, him at the way you squeezed him. “You feel…” He couldn’t find the words, so he buried his face in your neck, trying to gain some composure. You caressed the back of his neck sweetly. “You feel good too, baby.”

His hips stuttered forward, and you gasped as he worked himself deeper. You grasp his shoulders tightly, your nails embedding themselves into the soft skin.

“Yes!” You squeal.

“Like that?” He grits out, struggling to keep his rhythm.

“Yes, just like that!” You cry, moaning as he pounds up into you. His lips find yours again, and it’s bliss. Then before you can stop yourself, you’re calling him Daddy like it’s his given name. He groans into your sweaty neck like he’s in pain.

“You’re so nasty.” Overwhelmed and breathless, you whine your protest, “You’re nasty. Look at what you’re doing to me.” His eyes shift to where you’re connected. You’re creaming all over him and leaking down onto the couch, but you can’t bring yourself to care about anything other than coming. You do just that, mewling as you make an even bigger mess between your legs. He whispers filthy things into your ear as he finishes, grunting at the way you seem to be sucking him in even deeper.

“That was—“

“—unreal.”

“Yeah.”

Neither of you can bring yourself to move. Your sweat-covered skin sticks together. You swipe your hand against your forehead while he pants.

“I wanted to ride you at least once tonight, but after that, I’ll be lucky to make it to bed.”

GENERAL TAGLIST

@woahitslucyylu @briannab1234 @sheeshgivemeabreak @breakingnewsin-no-oneasked @angelreyesgirl @blessedboo @glimmerglittergirl @apantherinmypastlife @brownsugarcoffy @marvelmaree @starrynite7114 @scuzmunkie @thewarriorprincessxo @sadeyesgf @pearlkitten33 @imanerdychubbyqueen @literaturefeen @ourlittlesecretsoveragain @everyhowlmarksthedead @yourwonkywriter @trulysuccubus @sparklemichele @luckyharley1903

RIO TAGLIST

@xsweetdellzx

#good girls rio #nbc good girls #manny montana #rio x reader #rio x black!reader

615 notes · View notes

mostlysignssomeportents · 4 years ago

Text

Experian doxes the world (again)

The nonconsensually compiled dossiers of personal information that Experian assembled on the entire population of the USA may currently be exposed via dozens, perhaps hundreds, of sites, thanks to a grossly negligent security defect in Experian's API.

The breach was detected by Bill Demirkapi, a security researcher and RIT sophomore, and reported on by Brian Krebs, the excellent independent security reporter.

https://krebsonsecurity.com/2021/04/experian-api-exposed-credit-scores-of-most-americans/

Experian, like Equifax, has unilaterally arrogated to itself the right to collect, store and disseminate our personal information, and, like Equifax, it faces little regulation, including obligations not to harm us or penalties when it does.

Experian's API allows criminals to retrieve your credit info by supplying your name and address, information that is typically easy to find, especially in the wake of multiple other breaches, such as Doordash's 5m-person 2019 breach and Drizzly's 2.5m-person 2020 breach.

Demirkapi explains that the API is implemented by many, many sites across the internet, and while Experian assured Krebs that this bug only affected a single site, it did not explain how it came to that conclusion.

Demirkapi discovered the defect while he was searching for a student loan vendor. There is a way to defend yourself against this attack: freeze your credit report. Credit freezes were made free (but opt-in only) in 2018, after the Equifax breach.

https://krebsonsecurity.com/2018/09/credit-freezes-are-free-let-the-ice-age-begin/

Indeed, you may have already been thinking about the Equifax breach as you read this. In many ways, that breach was a wasted opportunity to seriously re-examine the indefensible practices of the credit-reporting industry, which had not been seriously scrutinized since 1976.

1976 was the year that Congress amended the Equal Credit Opportunity Act after hearing testimony about the abuses of the Retail Credit Company - a company that swiftly changed its name to "Equifax" to distance itself from the damning facts those hearings brought to light.

Retail Credit/Equifax invented credit reporting when it was founded in Atlanta in 1899. For more than half a century, it served as a free market Stasi to whom neighbors could quietly report each other for violating social norms.

Retail Credit's permanent, secret files recorded who was suspected of being gay, a "race-mixer" or a political dissident so that banks and insurance companies could discriminate against them.

https://www.jacobinmag.com/2017/09/equifax-retail-credit-company-discrimination-loans

This practice was only curbed when a coalition of white, straight conservative men discovered that they'd been misidentified as queers and commies and demanded action, whereupon Congress gave Americans limited rights to see and contest their secret files.

But these controls were never more than symbolic. Congress couldn't truly blunt the power of these private-sector spooks, because the US government depends on them to determine eligibility for Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid.

It's a public-private partnership from hell. Credit reporting bureaux collect data the government is not legally allowed to collect on its own, then sells that data to the government (Equifax makes $200m/year doing this).

https://web.archive.org/web/20171004200823/http://www.cetusnews.com/business/Equifax-Work-for-Government-Shows-Company%E2%80%99s-Broad-Reach.HkexS6JAq-.html

These millions are recycled into lobbying efforts to ensure that the credit reporting bureaux can continue to spy on us, smear us, and recklessly endanger us by failing to safeguard the files they assemble on us.

This is bad for America, but it's great for the credit reporting industry. The Big Three bureaux (Equifax, Experian and Transunion) have been on a decade-long buying spree, gobbling up hundreds of smaller companies.

These acquisitions lead directly to breaches: a Big Three company that buys a startup inherits its baling-wire-and-spit IT system, built in haste while the company pursued growth and acquisition.

These IT systems have to be tied into the giant acquiring company's own databases, adding to the dozens of other systems that have been cobbled together from previous acquisitions.

This became painfully apparent after the Equifax breach, so much so that even GOP Congressional Committee chairs called the breach "entirely preventable" and the result of "aggressive growth." But they refused to put any curbs on future acquisitions.

https://thehill.com/policy/technology/420582-house-panel-issues-scathing-report-on-entirely-preventable-equifax-data

A lot has happened since Equifax, so you may have forgotten just how fucked up that situation was. Equifax's IT was so chaotic that they couldn't even encrypt the data they'd installed. Two months later, they "weren't sure" if it had been encrypted.

https://searchsecurity.techtarget.com/news/450429891/Following-Equifax-breach-CEO-doesnt-know-if-data-is-encrypted

*Six months* before the breach, outside experts began warning Equifax that they were exposing our data:

https://www.vice.com/en/article/ne3bv7/equifax-breach-social-security-numbers-researcher-warning

The *only* action Equifax execs took? They sold off a shit-ton of stock:

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2018-03-14/sec-says-former-equifax-executive-engaged-in-insider-trading

The Equifax breach exposed the arrogance and impunity of the Big Three. Afterward, Equifax offered "free" credit monitoring to the people they'd harmed. One catch: it was free for a year; after that, they'd automatically bill you, annually, forever.

https://web.archive.org/web/20170911025943/https://therealnews.com/t2/story:19960:Equifax-Data-Breach-is-a-10-out-of-10-Scandal

And you'd pay in another way if you signed up for that "free" service: the fine print took away your right to sue Equifax, forever, no matter how they harmed you:

https://www.ibtimes.com/political-capital/equifax-lobbied-kill-rule-protecting-victims-data-breaches-2587929

The credit bureaux bill themselves as arbiters of the public's ability to take responsibility for their choices, but after the breach, the CEO blamed the entire affair on a single "forgetful" flunky:

https://www.engadget.com/2017-10-03-former-equifax-ceo-blames-breach-on-one-it-employee.html

Then he stepped down and pocketed a $90m salary that his board voted in favor of:

https://fortune.com/2017/09/26/equifax-ceo-richard-smith-net-worth/

Of course they did! His actions made the company so big that even after the breach, the IRS picked it to run its anti-fraud. Equifax got $7.5m from Uncle Sucker, and would have kept it except that its anti-fraud site was *serving malware*:

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/equifax-irs-data-breach-malware-discovered/

Equifax eventually settled all the claims against it for $700m in 2019:

https://nypost.com/2019/07/19/equifax-agrees-to-pay-700m-after-massive-data-breach/

But it continued to average five errors per credit report:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2019/02/11/rep-alexandria-ocasio-cortez-takes-aim-equifax-credit-scoring/

And it continued to store sensitive user-data in an unencrypted database whose login and password were "admin" and "admin":

https://finance.yahoo.com/news/equifax-password-username-admin-lawsuit-201118316.html

Congress introduced multiple bills to force Equifax, Experian and Transunion to clean up their act.

None of those bills passed.

https://www.axios.com/after-equifaxs-mega-breach-nothing-changed-1536241622-baf8e0cf-d727-43db-b4d4-77c7599fff1e.html

The IRS shrugged its shoulders at America, telling the victims of Equifax's breach that their information had probably already leaked before Equifax doxed them, so no biggie:

https://thehill.com/policy/cybersecurity/355862-irs-significant-number-of-equifax-victims-already-had-info-accessed-by

Since then there have been other mass breaches, most recently the Facebook breach that exposed 500m people's sensitive data. That data can be merged with data from other breaches and even from "anonymized" data-sets that were deliberately released:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/21/re-identification/#pseudonymity

And while you can theoretically prevent your data from being stolen using the current Experian vulnerability by freezing your account, that's not as secure as it sounds.

Back in 2017, Brian Krebs reported that Experian's services were so insecure that anyone could retreive the PIN to unlock a frozen credit report by ticking a box on a website:

https://krebsonsecurity.com/2017/09/experian-site-can-give-anyone-your-credit-freeze-pin/

That was just table-stakes - it turned out that ALL the credit bureaux had an arrangement with AT&T's telecoms credit agency that was so insecure that *anyone* could unlock your locked credit report:

https://krebsonsecurity.com/2018/05/another-credit-freeze-target-nctue-com/

These companies came into existence to spy on Americans in order to facilitate mass-scale, racist, ideological and sexual discrimination. They gather data of enormous import and sensitivity - data no one should be gathering, much less retaining and sharing.

They handle this data in cavalier ways, secure in the knowledge that their integration with the US government wins them powerful stakeholders who will ensure that the penalties for the harm they inflict add up to less than profits those harms generate for their shareholders.

This is why America needs a federal privacy law with a "private right of action" - the ability to sue companies that harm you, rather than hoping that federal prosecutors or regulators will decide to enforce the law.

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/16/where-it-hurts/#sue-facebook

Experian promises that this breach only affects one company that mis-implemented its API. We would be suckers to take it at its word. It didn't know about this breach until a college sophomore sent in a bug report - how would it know if there were others?

Image: KC Green (modified) https://kcgreendotcom.com/

#pluralistic

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moonlit-han · 4 years ago

Text

plus one ↠ lee minho

genre: friends to lovers, almost-fake dating au (femme reader) word count: 6.2k warnings: swearing, suggestive (gets steamy at the end), alcohol consumption request: yes (anon) a/n: so this turned out about twice as long as i expected it to . . . there’s a lot to do before you can actually go to a wedding. oh and this includes a guest appearance from park seonghwa of ateez. i promise i think he’s lovely in reality!

✧ masterlist & tag list info in bio ✧

↠↞

You were just sitting down to enjoy a nice cup of tea, which you’d been looking forward to all day, when your phone buzzed. Without even looking at the screen, you already knew who it would be—there was only one person in your life with such uniformly strange timing.

min😼: hey y/n….could you do me a favor? y/n: ……what do you want, minho…. min😼: so my v e r y rich cousin’s wedding is coming up and i need a plus one. it’s fancy, so they want everyone to partnered up and shit min😼: and there will be food. it’ll be good bc these are the rich cousins y/n: oooooh okay, sure! i’m always down for sort of crashing a wedding. when is it? min😼: it’s next weekend min😼: shit please tell me you have a fancy dress y/n: lee minho, are you seriously telling me i have to go buy a fancy dress?? min😼: maybe;;;; y/n: you’re coming with me and paying for half min😼: sure, fine with me y/n: wait seriously? you’re actually gonna do that? min😼: yeah, why not? y/n: nvm~ y/n: so should we go dress shopping tomorrow evening? min😼: sounds good to me! want me to pick you up after i get off work? y/n: 👉🏼👈🏼 please? min😼: you’re damn lucky you’re cute. y/n: see you then!

You closed your phone, still trying to process the fact that you were going to a wedding with Minho. He was a good friend—you’d met a few years ago and had a bit of a love-hate relationship. But ultimately, you agreed that being friends would be much better than not. In the time since, you’d become those kinds of friends who casually held hands, cuddled whenever possible, and shared clothes more than Minho actually realized. (You’d gotten quite good at stealing his t-shirts and sweatpants).

Your friends were convinced the two of you should date but you both just waved them off. Even his family thought you were dating—Minho hadn’t exactly told them they were wrong, though, unbeknownst to you. And now here you were about to go to a wedding with him. When you woke up that morning, you definitely hadn’t been expecting that. But now, you were actually looking forward to what would certainly be a memorable occasion.

Minho picked you up around 5:15 pm and you headed to the mall, circling the parking lot for a few minutes until you found a spot. When you exited the car, the wind blew your hair into your eyes; you heard your traitor of a friend snort as he saw what had happened. Getting your hair back under control, you walked toward the mall entrance. Once inside, you started in the direction of the large department store. But before you could Minho pulled you along with him instead.

At your confused look, he said, “If we’re getting you a dress for a black-tie wedding, then we’re getting you a good quality one.” You opened your mouth to object, thinking of how much it would cost. “No, don’t argue, Y/N.”

Deciding it would be best not to go against Minho when he clearly had a plan, you just closed your mouth and went with it. Minho let go of the fabric of your tank top after several strides, but made sure that you stayed with him—the mall was more crowded than you’d expected. So, after almost losing twice, Minho decided to just go for it and hold your hand. He pulled you close to his side, his hand familiar and reassuring in yours.

You made your way to what you suspected was the most expensive formalwear boutique in the entire mall, feeling self-conscious in your jeans and tank top. The shop attendant, a cheery elderly woman, came hurrying up to you and Minho, fluttering around you rather like a butterfly.

“Hello, I’m Violet! How may I help you all? What’s the special event?” she chirped, giving the two of you what she must have thought was a sly smile.

Crap, you thought, we must look like a couple. Again. You tried to extricate your hand from Minho’s, but he just shifted to lace his fingers with yours and held on tight.

“We’re attending a black-tie wedding,” Minho said, straight to the point as always. “I already have my tuxedo, but Y/N, here, needs a dress. Do you have anything in burgundy?”

You looked at Minho, not expecting him to take the lead in buying a dress, much less choose a color.

“Of course!” said Violet. “Y/N, was it? If you’ll follow me so we can get your measurements and such? Your gentleman friend can wait on the sofa over there.” She pointed to a sleek looking seating area clearly meant for those who accompanied the boutique’s many clients.

“I’d prefer to come back with her and see the dresses,” Minho said, surprising you yet again. The attendant’s smile grew wider as, still holding your hand, Minho walked with you through the maze of evening gowns to the fitting rooms.

“Oh, well, all right,” the elderly woman agreed grudgingly. “But I must insist you stay out of the dressing room. That would simply be one step too far, young man!”

Minho laughed lightly and assured her, “I’ll stay well away, madam. No worries.”

“You had better.” Violet turned to you, holding out a tape measure and a little pad of paper with a miniature pen attached to it. “Have you measured yourself before? Good. Just write it all down and we’ll see what size you need.”

You glanced back at Minho before entering the dressing room—he was leaning against the wall opposite from the Violet, as far from your dressing room as he could get. After a few minutes of wrestling with the tape measure, you emerged and handed over the pad of paper.

“Okay, my dear,” Violet said, “come with me and we’ll see about some styles. What colors, besides burgundy, would you like to try on?”

You thought for a moment, following carefully through the racks upon racks of dresses and suits. “Emerald, black, and teal,” you said before you thought better of saying you’d wear black to a wedding.

Nodding, Violet stopped in front of a long display of gowns that ranged from a deep red that was almost black to the brightest red you’d ever seen. “I’ll just go see what I can find for you, dear,” she said before moving off.

Your eyes darted from dress to dress to dress, the shades and fabrics nearly overwhelming you—you’d never seen so many formal gowns in one place before. Occasionally, you took down a dress to look at it more closely, and soon your arms were weighed down with ten dresses. As you made your way back to the fitting rooms, Violet reappeared carrying five dresses of her own, all in the colors you’d mentioned.

“Now, you just go in there and get these on as best as you can, and I’ll help you with any zippers or ties that you can’t get to.” Violet smiled kindly as she ushered you into the fitting room.

You undressed and slipped the first gown on, trying not to step on the hem, but it was difficult not to. The dressmakers seemed to have assumed that everyone was unusually tall. After straightening the neckline a little and smoothing your hair, you stepped out of the fitting room.

“So, how do you like it?” you asked Minho, who was still lounging against the wall.

“Eh,” he shrugged, “I’m not crazy about the color, but your hips look great.”

“You—” you began, but stopped because you were in public. Now he commenting on your hips! That was a new one. So, you went back to try on another dress. Each of the next five dresses you paraded in front of your friend somehow didn’t live up to whatever expectations he had for your gown.

You sighed and pouted a little after the sixth dress. “Min, what’s wrong with this one? I like it, plus it’s comfortable! And I’m the one wearing it, anyway.”

“Yeah, but you don’t know this side of the family. They expect everything and everyone to be and look perfect.”

“Well, shit,” you grumbled.

“Here,” Minho offered, “I’ll go see if I can find you a dress. Just sit tight for a minute.” Before you could say anything to the contrary, he’d turned and headed into the maze of gowns.

“Your Minho is sweet, offering to find you a dress,” Violet said as she helped you unzip the dress.

“I guess,” you said grudgingly. “I’m not sure he actually knows what to look for, though.”

“Oh, you’d be surprised,” Violet grinned at you in the mirror.

While you waited, you looked back through the dresses you’d already tried on, thinking you’d choose one in case Minho couldn’t find the perfect dress himself. The deep teal dress kept drawing your eye, but you weren’t sure if it was too formal.

“Y/N?” Minho called from outside the fitting room. “Open up so I can give you this dress.”

You took the dress, just barely peaking out from behind the door, and hung it on one of the hooks specifically for the gowns. It was, as you’d suspected, a deep burgundy and not too puffy in the skirt. You weren’t sure about the beading around the bodice, though. But, you’d try it on for Minho—even if just to prove him wrong if it looked horrible.

After struggling with the corseting in the back, you decided to ask for Violet’s help. Ever obliging, she slipped into the changing room and helped lace you into the gown. Somehow, it fit perfectly and you didn’t even have to hold your breath or anything.

When he saw you in the gown, Minho wolf-whistled. “Damn, Y/N,” he said appreciatively. “You look . . . hot. Yeah.” He paused. “Now aren’t you glad I picked a dress for you? I even made sure it wasn’t too expensive.”

“Yeah, thank you, Min,” you said, smiling at him. “I really look hot?” Suddenly, you were very conscious of the dress’s low neckline.

“No, you look really hot. It’s the best one so far. Is it comfortable?”

“I— Okay, I guess I’ll get this one, then,” you said, surprised at how easy a decision it was. “It’s actually super comfortable.”

“Perfect,” Minho said. “Everyone will be entranced by how gorgeous you are.”

Trying to ignore that last comment, you said, “And, um, Violet? Could you help me again?” You were a bit embarrassed to be buying a piece of clothing you couldn’t get into by yourself. Your roommate would just have to help.

As you changed back into your street clothes, Violet and Minho went up to the register. You thought over how much you’d be paying for the dress, and were quite glad that Minho had agreed to pay for half.

“So,” you said as you reached the register, “how much do I owe?”

Violet gave you a little wink. “You don’t owe anything, dear. It’s all taken care of. There was even a discount on this dress!”

You turned on Minho. “You didn’t….”

“Don’t worry about it, Y/N. Okay?” Minho almost sounded defensive, but maybe he was just tired.

“But I—”

“I said don’t worry about, babe,” Minho interrupted. “See? Now I don’t have to get you a birthday present this year.” Minho sent you a sly grin and a wink. You just rolled your eyes.

“You’ll have to excuse me for saying so,” Violet tittered, breaking the slight tension in the air, “but you two make such a lovely couple. It seems to me you’ll be planning your own wedding soon!”

You blushed. You knew you blushed. How could you not have?

“Thank you, ma’am,” Minho said smoothly. “That’s still quite far in the future, though.” He gave Violet one of his winning smiles that never ceased to make parents, teachers, disagreeable elderly ladies, and, of course, you feel like the most important and lovely person in the world.

“Oh! Well, whenever the happy day is, I wish you both well. Enjoy!” Violet handed you the long dress bag and waved as you left the store.

“Lee Minho, what exactly was that all about?” you demanded once you were well away from the boutique.

“What was what all about?” Minho replied, feigning innocence as he ambled along, hands in his pockets.

“You know what.” You tried not to sound petulant. “Why did you pretend we’re getting married or something?”

“It makes ladies like her happy to think of the younger generation settling down. Besides, she seemed like she needed something exciting in her life. Now, she’ll just spend the rest of the day imagining our wedding, even though she’ll never see us again. See? She gets a daydream and we got the clearly made-up “Cute Couple Discount.” Minho slung an arm around your shoulders, jostling you slightly. “Come on, buttercup,” he chuckled, “am I really that hideous for you to hate even pretending?”

Still nonplussed, you shook your head and shoved Minho with your hip—that didn’t stop him from keeping his arm around your shoulders, though. You didn’t reply, since the truth was too embarrassing to even admit.

↠↞

You cursed yourself for a fool as you tried to put on the dress for the wedding. Today just had to be the day your roommate wasn’t around. First, you’d tried lacing it up with the dress back-to-front and slipping it around yourself to just tighten the laces. When that didn’t work, you tried lacing it up loosely and then pulling tight. It still wouldn’t cooperate. Well, there was only one thing for it now.

y/n: ….min you’re on your way, right? min😼: yeah of course y/n: i need help with my dress😩🙃😩 min😼: ok. i’ll be there in 5 mins y/n: thanks!!! you’re the best!!!!😭💕💕💕 min😼: i know

You hurriedly wrestled your hair into a bun, thankful that you could get away with such a simple style. With your makeup already done, you waited by the door, your shoes and a small clutch in one hand and the other holding up the bodice of your dress. This was going to be . . . interesting.

Minho knocked the door and you called, “It’s open!” just as he discovered that very thing. The door opened and—

Lee Minho in a tuxedo was a sight to behold. You wolf-whistled, smirking at your best friend. In response, Minho just raised his eyebrows and inclined his head toward you, as if to say, “You don’t look bad yourself.” You noticed twin flags of pink on his cheeks, too.

“Okay,” Minho said, taking a deep breath as he saw you waiting there in the entryway, “turn around. It’s just simple lacing, right?”

“It should be simple,” you grumbled, “but not for me!”

“I’ve got it, buttercup.” You smiled at that—Minho had recently taken to calling you that nickname far more often than before. “Hold the dress up until I’ve got most of the laces done up, okay?”

Without hesitation, Minho deftly began to draw the laces through the eyes of the corset, occasionally grumbling when one didn’t cooperate. Shortly, you were laced into your dress and Minho was tightening everything to your comfort level. His breath tickling the hairs on the back of your neck was horribly distracting.

“Is this good?” he asked. “I don’t want to squish your lungs.”

“I’m fine! It’s actually perfect” You turned to face Minho, and he had to step back quickly so as not to be hit in the nose with the crown of your head.

“All right, then let’s get going. I don’t want to be late—they’d never forgive me.” Minho then tried to shunt you out your own door, but you threatened him with one of your heels.

While the wedding wasn’t too far outside the city, it would still take you and Minho an hour to get there. You hoped it wouldn’t be too hot, since there was nothing worse than body odor on formalwear. Lifting the hem of your dress, you all but clambered into Minho’s car and buckled your seatbelt. A moment later, you were heading toward the highway, your windows down and Minho easily guiding the car between the light traffic. He even let you choose which music you’d listen to—a rare honor. One or two people glanced over at you at stoplights, but you ignored them. What was wrong with dressing up a little . . . or a lot?

“I just want to tell you a few things before we get there,” Minho said when you were ten minutes away from the venue. You nodded. “Like I said, these are the rich cousins. Everyone will be dressed in black tie attire and acting like they know how to behave. They don’t. I don’t particularly want to get boisterously drunk, but most everyone else will. I can’t promise there won’t be debauchery, especially since it’s an outdoor wedding—lots of shadows to slip off to.” He paused, thinking of what else to warn you about. “Oh, and then there’s Great-Aunt Mia. She’s a handful, to say the least, and likes to comment on everyone’s life decisions. Even if she doesn’t know you, she’ll still find some way to be condescending.”

You gave Minho an incredulous look. “And why exactly did you want to go to this wedding if it’s going to be such a shit show?”

“Hey, it won’t be that bad,” Minho countered. “But yeah, I think that’s all I wanted to say.”

“I’ll just stick with you, since I won’t know anyone there,” you said brightly.

As he turned down the long drive lined with an old yew hedge that led to the mansion on whose grounds the wedding would occur, Minho flashed a radiant smile at you.

It was going to be good night.

↠↞

The wedding ceremony itself was beautiful, and you were almost moved to tears along with everyone else, despite not knowing the newlyweds. And no matter how much you tried, you couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that Minho was sitting next to you, his thigh warm against yours and impossible to ignore. When everyone stood to congratulate the happy couple, Minho put his hand on your shoulder, gently rubbing the back of your neck. While cuddling and causal touches were normal between the two of you, something had definitely changed in the past week and you weren’t sure what to make of it.

There was a bit of time between the actual ceremony and the reception, so you and Minho decided to go back to his car and nap. It felt a little odd napping in a formal gown, but you didn’t much care. Sleep was always important in your world. You and Minho laid the seats back as far as they’d go and rolled all the windows down to tempt in a breeze. Just as you were falling asleep, you felt Minho’s hand slip into yours. As if on reflex, you laced your fingers in his.

When you woke to Minho’s obnoxious alarm song, you were still holding hands.

“Ready to party?” Minho wiggled his eyebrows at you, sitting up. “We get to see my relatives make fools of themselves!”

“Oh, you know I am. That’s my favorite pastime,” you said, clapping your hands like an excited child.

“I knew there was a reason I kept you around,” Minho said, and you reached out to swat him.

Once you stood outside the car, you decided to redo your bun—you didn’t particularly want to look like you’d just been asleep—but, Minho gently stopped you.

“It looks better loose,” he said, reaching out to carefully place your hair so it sweetly framed your face. It was such a tender gesture that it made your heart ache. So, you left your hair down and, still hand-in-hand with Minho, made your way toward the large tent under which the celebration was just getting under way.

For dinner, you and Minho were seated with some of his younger cousins and their friends. You felt utterly out of your depth, since you didn’t spend much time with fifteen year-olds. They peppered the two of you with questions about adulthood. Thankfully, Minho had been right: there was more than enough food and it was delicious. The wine to go with dinner was excellent, too. You had to stop yourself from going back for thirds of one dish. And when the cake came out, you could barely contain your glee over how good it was. Minho even managed to put a dab of icing on your nose, and laughed himself silly at your look of betrayal.

As tradition dictated, the newlyweds had the first dance. It was sweet and a bit somber. You held back as Minho went to dance as soon as everyone else was invited to dance. The younger cousins flocked to the dance floor like geese. Minho danced exuberantly, joyously, and you couldn’t help smiling at him whenever he faced you. Without his suit coat, he could move freely as any leaf on the wind, and all too quickly, he was lost to you as more and more people flooded the dance floor.

“Hey,” a voice behind you said. You hadn’t noticed anyone approach as you watched a couple in front of you dance their hearts out. Looking up, your eyes met those of an incredibly handsome young man you’d seen in the bridal party. His tuxedo looked so normal that it practically screamed that it cost more than you’d care to imagine.

You gave him a mildly confused look. “Hello?”

“Oh, come on, that’s no way to talk to a kind gentleman simply saying ‘Hello,’” the man said.

“I don’t know you,” you said uncertainly.

“True. Park Seonghwa at your service.” He left space at the end of the sentence, expecting you to provide your name. You didn’t. But that didn’t stop him. “So,” he continued, pulling out a chair next to you and straddling it, “what’s a beautiful woman like you doing sitting over here when you could be dancing?”

“I just didn’t feel like dancing yet,” you said, keeping your voice even, and took a sip of your wine. “I could ask you the same thing.”

Seonghwa looked affronted. “Do you see this suit? There’s no way I can dance in this!”

You laughed—you couldn’t help it, not when this preening popinjay was being so ridiculous. And, of course, he took your laughter as a sign that he was doing something right and proceeded to shift his chair closer to yours. A waft of his cloying cologne hit you like a freight train and you coughed lightly, leaning away.

“If I’m supposed to dance in this gown, then you can definitely dance in that suit,” you said mockingly.

“Ah! Care to dance with me, then, beautiful?” Seonghwa stood and held out his hand, expecting you to take it. He had the air about him that he was used to getting what he wanted. “Or we could go somewhere private and I can show you my . . . moves.”

“No, I don’t. I’m not going to dance or do anything else with someone I just met, especially one so cocky as you.” You turned away from Seonghwa to resume watching the guests dancing. A moment later, your view was eclipsed by the thing very person you were trying to avoid.

“Could you move?” you asked peevishly. “Whatever you want, I’m not interested.”

“Why don’t you want to dance with me, hmm?” Seonghwa demanded. “Aren’t I handsome enough?”

“Is that all you can talk about? How handsome you are?” you snapped. “I said I’m not interested, and that should be enough.” Your thoughts raced—usually only one thing worked on guys like this. “Besides, I have a boyfriend.”

Seonghwa made to grab your hand to pull you out of your seat, but stopped as a hand clasped his shoulder. “Ah. Seonghwa. I shouldn’t be surprised. Kindly fuck off, won’t you?” Minho said as brightly as the glint of sunlight off a lake on a summer’s day. His hair was slightly disheveled from dancing, but that didn’t stop him from looking like a prince to you. In fact, it only helped.

“Minnie!” Seonghwa cried, turning to face Minho. “It’s good to see you! It’s been too long.”

“Hmm, I’d say not long enough,” Minho muttered, but Seonghwa wasn’t paying attention.

“I was just about to dance with— You know, I never did catch this lovely creature’s name.”

“And I’m still not going to give it to you,” you insisted, angry that you’d been called a “lovely creature.”

“Seonghwa, really. Go bother someone else.” Minho’s voice was still calm, but it had an edge to it. “I’m tired of your shit.”

“Oh, I see how it is,” Seonghwa said, looking between you and Minho. Then, sensing that he couldn’t charm his way out of this situation, he stalked off in the direction of the bar.

Letting out a sigh, Minho came to stand by you and gently rubbed your back. The cut of your gown was such that his hand only met bare skin, and you felt a shiver pass over you. A few minutes passed as you both simply watched the gyrating crowd.

“Is he always like that?” you asked suddenly.

Minho looked down at you, brows furrowed slightly. “Hmm?”

“Is Seonghwa always such a dick? I don’t think I’ve ever met someone so insufferable and narcissistic,” you run a hand through you hair, the picture of annoyance.

“Yeah,” Minho says sadly. “He’s never really understood that the life he’s used to isn’t everyone else’s reality. And it doesn’t help that he knows he’s disgustingly handsome.”

You giggled. “That’s the perfect way to put it.”

A slow, mellow love song began to play and the young cousins back to the table, too embarrassed to remain on the dance floor. Minho leaned down to your ear and said, “Why don’t you come dance, now. I think the young ones are about to start annoying us again. I promise I won’t leave you on the side this time.”

Smiling, you stood, and Minho’s hand went to your waist as he drew you out onto the dance floor. The skirt of your gown swirled around you most satisfyingly. Dancing with Minho had always been easy, since all you had to do was follow his lead and hope you didn’t trip over your own feet. Tonight was no different. With one hand at your waist and the other between your shoulder blades, Minho held you close to him as you carefully swayed and sometimes twirled together. Your arms had automatically gone to loop around the back of his neck, which made you think of all the times you’d done that with silly guys in high school. Minho laughed, surprised but pleased.

You were aware of Minho’s fingers gently weaving in and out of the ends of your hair, almost as if he didn’t want you to know. You brushed your thumb against the soft hair at the nape of his neck, and he sucked in a breath. Something had changed between you and Minho in the past two weeks, but you couldn’t put your finger on it. There was just something about being at a wedding that made you feel especially romantic.

“Lee Minho!” came a slightly hoarse and distinctly peevish voice.

“Oh no,” Minho groaned and rested his forehead on your head, clearly hoping you could hold him up that way.

“Is that your great-aunt Mia,” you whispered, glancing over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of the elderly woman hurriedly making her way toward you. Her wispy white hair formed a cloud around her head, much like a dandelion gone to seed. When dancers didn’t move from her quickly enough, she rapped them on the ankles with her gnarled cane.

“Mhmm,” Minho grimaced.

“Should she be on the dance floor?” you asked, concerned.

“Probably not.”

“Lee Minho, what do you think you’re doing?” Great-Aunt Mia said, knocking her cane into Minho’s calves so he nearly fell into you.

“Hello, Aunt Mia,” Minho said, turning to face the disagreeable woman; he kept his hand on your waist, though.

“Don’t you take that tone with me, young man!”

“Sorry, Aunt Mia. I wish I could have visited you, I really do, but school’s just been so busy. I hope you’ve been well.” You could tell by the set of his shoulders that Minho was trying not to be sarcastic toward his elder relative, and decided to snake your arm around his waist. For moral support.

“Minho, you didn’t tell me you have a girlfriend. You will introduce us.” Great-Aunt Mia didn’t ask to be introduced; no, she commanded.

“Oh, right,” Minho said, and Great Aunt Mia glared, as if Minho’s lapse in cordiality was a high crime. “Great Aunt Mia, may I present my girlfriend, Y/N L/N.”

If you’d just taken a sip of your now abandoned wine, you would have spluttered. You couldn’t believe what you’d just heard. Girlfriend? You’d certainly entertained the idea in your wildest, most private daydreams, but never thought of it seriously. Minho always negated any suggestion of you being a couple, so, surely, he was joking this time, too. He had to be. After all, you’d been mistaken for a couple more times than you could count.

“Well, girl?” Great-Aunt Mia’s voice cut through your thoughts like a hot knife through butter. All around you, the other guests continued dancing.

“I’m so sorry,” you said, nearly tripping over your words as you raced to get them out. Great-Aunt Mia was scary. “It’s very nice to meet you, ma’am.” You weren’t sure if you should courtesy or hold out your hand to shake hers or what—this interacting-with-rich-people thing mildly unnerved you.

“Oh, call me Aunt Mia—everyone does!” Great-Aunt Mia chortled, then, she peered at you. “So, you’ve won the heart of our darling Minho, have you? Well, what do you do?”

“I—” you began, then had to swallow. “I’m still in college, ma’am, but I have a part-time job at a bookstore.” There was no way you were going to call this harpy of a woman “Aunt Mia.”

“Well, that’s good,” she said, making it clear that she did not think it good in the least. “I’m sure you’ll be a fine wife for Minho. Don’t embarrass us, please.”

Her pronouncement hung in the air as you and Minho simply stared. Then, Great-Aunt Mia sharply turned her head to the side, like a fox that had just sensed a vole nearby, and hobbled away into the crowd of dancers. Even after you could no longer see her, you knew where she went by the yelps of pain from those unfortunate enough to get in her way.

“So, where were we?” Minho said, pulling you around to face him again. As he did so, his hands came to rest on your hips, much lower than before. You could feel the heat of his skin through the thin fabric of your dress.

Before you could say anything, Minho stiffened as he looked up and past you. “I need you to make out with me,” he said quickly, bringing his lips to your ear. “Please, I’m begging, Y/N. I’ll explain later.”

“Wha—” was all you got out before Minho’s lips were on yours. Without thinking, you fit your lips more perfectly to his and kissed back. He tasted of sweet icing, white wine, and the salt of sweat from dancing. You clung to him, holding on for dear life as reality seemed to shimmer like a veil in front of you. And, Minho clearly thought now was not the time for half-measures, since he’d roughly pulled your hips to his—you could tell his pants were feeling far too tight at the moment. You gasped against his lips as he slid his tongue into your mouth. Minho cupped the back of your head, still holding your hip like a lifeline in a storm.

“Hey, if you’re not gonna dance, get off the dance floor!”

“Get a room!”

“Ooooh, hot!”

You broke the kiss, blushing at the comments from people around you and at how enthusiastically you’d kissed him back. You were both panting slightly.

“Min,” you breathed. “What was that— Why— We just—”

Minho interrupted you with another peck on the lips, then pulled you with him off the dance floor. “Let’s get out of here.”

You followed Minho out from under the tent, away from the people and lights and wine that flowed like Dionysus himself presided over the bar. The memory of the softness of Minho’s lips on yours buzzed through your veins, making you feel warm honey. When you reached an old maple, you stopped, still holding hands.

“Minho, why did we just make out?” you said, looking up into his face. “Not that I minded!” you added quickly.

“Seonghwa was coming toward us and he, well—” Minho looked uncomfortable. “He has a history of trying take away the people I’m dating. I wasn’t about to let him get you.”

“But, we’re not dating . . .” you said, hearing how uncertain you sounded and mentally kicking yourself.

“He didn’t have to know that,” Minho said, his voice firm. “I still didn’t want him worming his way between us.” He reached up and lightly ran his fingertips along the line of your cheekbone. You couldn’t help yourself—you leaned into his touch.

The winking of fireflies in the trees on the far side of the lawn made it look like Minho was surrounded by stars. The next words you spoke took all your courage, and then some, to say. “What if we did date, Min?”

Minho didn’t bother with a lengthy speech detailing the reasons he wanted you. He didn’t fall to his knees and clutch at your skirts, professing his love in verse. He didn’t walk away. Instead, Minho cupped your face in his hands and brought his mouth to yours again.

“Yes, yes,” he said in between kissing your cheeks, your lips, your eyelids, everywhere he could. “Oh Y/N, love, please.” The last word came out a little strangled.

You ran your fingers through Minho’s hair, holding him to you as you all but devoured each other. The fabric of your dress against your skin suddenly felt too tight, and all you wanted to do was yank it off yourself. Instead, you settled for untying Minho’s bowtie and starting on his buttons. At the same time, he began working at the lacing of your gown.

“We,” Minho gasped, “should go back to the car. We can’t just— Not under a tree.”

You giggled at how close you’d come to tearing each other’s clothes off in the middle of a public lawn. While it was still early in the evening, it wasn’t that dark yet. “Come on, then,” you grinned. “We can time how long it takes you to undo the lacing of this fucking dress.”

It turned out that Minho was more adept at unlacing things than you’d expected, and you were soon out of your dress. Minho’s shirt was gone, too. So, clothed in far less than what you’d arrived at the wedding in, you straddled Minho’s lap in the backseat of his car. His lips on your skin felt like the fire that the fireflies in the surrounding trees seemed to hold. But his kisses were still the best, making you feel as though you partook of the sweetest ambrosia.

Your hands were still in his hair as his roamed your back and down to grip your thighs. Minho pulled you closer to him and nuzzled your neck, sucking on the sensitive skin there. Every time you ground your hips into his, Minho let out a moan so pretty that you thought you could listen to it every day. You were sure that you’d blaze up in a pillar of flame at any moment, you felt so full of frenetic energy.

The heat between the two of you grew steadily until it was all you could do not to cry out. Minho’s body covered you, warm and lithe, and soon he murmured your name over and over and over again. Fireflies danced behind your eyes.

“I love you, Y/N,” Minho whispered, holding you to his chest as you curled up on the seat together—your dress made a surprisingly good blanket. “I love you so much.”

“Min, please tell me you mean that,” you said, not daring to believe that you weren’t just dreaming, even after everything that you’d just done.

“I do mean it, buttercup,” Minho said, kissing your temple. “And I’ll mean it every day of my life. I promise.”

519 notes · View notes

bluemoonpunch · 4 years ago

Note

HI! This is from a pretty old post but I was wondering, what did you mean when you said you used to "enter a trance state in three or four different sets"? Did you just repeat a certain technique over and over until you went under or did you mean something else?

A: Yeah, pretty much. It's sort of like dropping deeper and deeper into your unconscious mind layer by layer, similar to what they do in Inception, I think. Similar concept. Every layer would be something different like I would do something different in order to go down further as I was in a different state of mind or holding a different level of consciousness.

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Q: Hey! I was re-reading the external alignment of min yoongi that you posted (because weirdly his readings which are very old now, give me comfort :| ) and read that incarnation cycle part and your mentioning 200-year cycle. Just realized that the great Jupiter Saturn mutation cycle is also 200 years long so maybe it's some dots that connect? Idk I almost had an epiphany moment and then felt dumb, sorry.

A: It is an interesting lineup for sure. I wouldn't be surprised if there is some connection there. Here's an article about it if anyone is interesting: link.

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Q: me : vibin to the end credit music of bmp's videos

namjoon : sings

me: 👀

Bmp: slips in some numericals ( ͡°³ ͡°)

Me: 👁👄👁

seriously nam-vocals and them codes hit diff -@bursaat

A: This is a very old ask that I've had saved in my ask box for a while just because it always made me smile, lol.

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Q: heyy just wanted to add a little info, Billie apparently shared her birth time back in the days on Twitter when she was talking about astrology and charts with her fans and it's 11.30 am. If you want you can look up to that too :) thanks for your work for the collective 🙏 -@bursaat

A: Thanks for letting me know. There's definitely some aspects in her chart that line up with her EA reading, a lot of interesting tension between planets that seems to be set up for public progression, kind of leading people through certain phases of life by publically displaying her own progression. It's very interesting for sure.

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Q: what happens when two souls merge?

A: If souls merge while still occupying physical forms, as in they are still existing physically as two separate humans, there can be a lot of psychological issues between the two or a severe imbalance where one has more trouble than the other, which can lead to a very noticeable power imbalance, especially in romantic partnerships. This is also something that can happen with twins who either share a split soul or just have a close enough connection or are dependent enough on each other that their souls merge.

I have seen before in some of my personal work and exploration that in some pretty severe cases one person will "vibrate out of the body" in order to merge with the other. In other words, the one who is "weaker" mentally or physically will die in order to merge with the other. On a higher level, the souls or the consciousnesses may remain separate, but they'll merge on lower levels. Such as merging on a 5D plane but remaining separate on 9D plane.

XXXX

Q: Hi! This is not a reading request, but could you please add dates to the mini-readings on your website from now on? There's no date for them anywhere and I know I can find them here and see where they were done, but if it's not too hard please add them in the future! Thanks!!! <3

A: Yes, all of the mini-readings on the BMP website should now show the dates they were posted on the top center, just below the main title of the post. Just be aware that some of the posts put up in late 2018 were carried over from Tumblr, so there will be two dates, one under the title for when it was posted onto the website, and another date at the top of the entry marking when it was originally posted on Tumblr.

XXXX

Q: Hey! Hope you are well. I have a general question about shifting timelines: How do we identify if we've shifted to a different timeline in a tangible sense? Is it based on how our interests change, how clear/hazy our memories become of fairly recent years, etc? I've been getting back to regular meditation again and I'm trying to figure out if what I'm going through is because of work+isolation+lockdowns messing up my perception or if it is something else.

A: Well, I assume it can be different for everyone, but for me, it's definitely a matter of memory and energetic ties to those memories that state out the most. Specifically around trauma and very heavy memories that used to really deeply trigger me even with the slightest mention of it now feel almost like something that I've only just heard about rather than experienced. Like, I still remember things very clearly, but they just don't feel heavy anymore, they don't come with negative feelings the way they used to, it's just kind of... there. Almost like a dream.

I've definitely experienced certain shifts before where, deadass, one day I was absolutely terrified of a specific concept, specifically involving aspects of communication with higher consciousness or beings of other dimensions and whatnot, and then suddenly the next day it was absolutely not a problem at all. It was really strange, but it was literally like flipping a switch. I've had a few moments like that in the past 4 years or so where "flipping a switch" could most accurately describe certain points of shifting timelines or shifting in levels of conscious awareness simply because of how fast it happened.

Shifting timelines can also come with remembering past lives, or being able to recall experiences you yourself didn't have, which can be really confusing and anxiety-inducing at times, but as long as you are conscious of it and you know what's going on, it's easy to ground yourself and settle into the present moment and just focus on the here and now.

Sudden inspiration or interests popping up out of nowhere along with very strong intuitive pulls toward new things can be a sign of shifting timelines but also signs of spiritual or conscious expansion and development within a singular timeline as well.

#bmpasks

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lovely-necromancy · 3 years ago

Text

A Cure for Insomnia CH.5

A scream shocks you out of your fuzzy thoughts. You look around and notice Connor sitting alert and looking like he wants to run down the hallway this very instant.

“Connor?” the head snaps to you immediately and before you can even question his presence in your home he jumps up and barks then walks in circles near the door.

Great a dog who has no sense of horror movie tropes. Since the scream did come from inside your house you should go find the person who made it and see what's wrong. Also maybe get clarification on why they're in your home. You aren't dead and are still in the same clothes so you figure you're alright around them. You follow Connor to where Toby is, in your kitchen staring out the window standing at a very odd angle. Like he caught himself before he fell backwards but hadn't bothered to get up.

“What's up....oh.” is all you can say as you see Chonk's head whip towards you and Connor before he books it for the tree line. Damn that fat raccoon can run fast, good to know if he ever wants to chase you down in the future. Which he might if you don't leave his slice of pizza out today.

“'oh' 'oh', that's all yo-you've got to say about a giant fuck-ing ra-mrrow- raccoon!?!” maybe thinking this guy was composed and unphased was a misconception, if seeing Chonk has put his world views in question.

“I mean he probably just eats a lot of pizza.” to put it simply you never gave much thought to the fat little trash thief, he was just fat and he existed. Visiting your home for the slice he deemed his every other week. Probably had other homes in Kepler he terrorized for the same reasons. God knows Leo would never put up with a raccoon trashing his store for his pizza. Or even his home for that matter.

“He's nearly half the size of Connor!” looking down towards Connor you tilt your head.

“Are we talking about with his legs or just his torso?” you could maybe see the size comparison with the dog's body but with his height it was a different matter all together.

Toby rolls his eyes before going and sitting down at the small breakfast table where he seemed to have found your fidget cube and had been well fidgeting with it. You take the seat opposite of him, it's weird having a guest over especially when you didn't invite them in. Well now that removes the chances of him being a vampire you suppose.

Perfect not a kidnapper, nor a vampire, and he's helped you out twice now. The two of you might well be on your way to becoming best friends. That is if he could get past this episode of yours.

“I still don't know what happened last night, but I'm done with the freak out.” you say as you idly pet Connor.

“...What?” he's squinting at you trying to get a read on how anyone bounces back from something like that so calmly in a matter of hours. Especially when he'd been checking up on you and Connor only to see you still staring off into space.

“Oh, uh... I have Autism. Isn't good for much but helps me rationalize events quicker and move past emotional and mental breakdowns pretty quick too.”

“Is that an Autism thing?” you shrug at his question as he jerks his shoulders forwards a few times.

“Probably more of a me thing, but I've read the trait tends to be more common in those of us who are neurodivergent.”

You hear a murmur of telling someone later later. Filing that away to take note of another day you stare at Toby who in turn stares back. This goes on for a bit, you couldn't even classify it as a staring contest since you are both still blinking occasionally. You aren't really sure if you should say 'thank you' first and then ask the man what he's doing in your home or wait for him to break the silence. But as you stare at Toby, into his eyes, you get the feeling this man is more of a zombie than anything else. The type to drag along and go at a snails pace rather than get into the messy bits in one go...ironic choice for comparison.

“Thank you for driving me home...but why are you still here?” you hear a huff of laughter?

“You weren't really in a position...” knuckles pop “to be left alone. What if you got back into your car again?” his eyes cut and there's a bit of bite to his words...it wasn't directed towards you, you can feel that much.

“Fair enough.” you glance at the stove and see the clock shine a little before six. “Would you like some breakfast” his neck snaps to the left triggering your own to snap as well, “or a ride home?” you finish asking.

“Can you make something for Connor too? Don't trust you behind the wheel yet.”

“Oh sure! What does he normally eat?” Perking up at the thought of the dog being off duty, that means actual pets!

“He-mrrow- normally gets oatmeal with some fruit or veg and anything raw I can find.” He finishes with a whistle for Connor's attention, and then a pointed finger flipping down in front of him. The dog trots over and sits down, while Toby takes off the vest you look through your cupboards to find the rolled oats you'd gotten as incentive to eat in the mornings before realizing you only liked them on certain days.

“So what does Tobias normally eat?” you call out as you look for some honey you know you threw in the cupboards.

“Anything really. I don't do slimy textures or anything watery.”

“Watery? Like soups?” Found a can of pumpkin, it's still in date too, perfect.

“Watery like...when you put too much water in oatmeal.” He nods when you silently show him the can of pumpkin asking if that'd be fine for his boy, who is sitting down drooling from his smiling face as Toby tussles his ears.

“Ahhh, thin watery got it.” You hear movement and a few grunts from Toby as you assume he tics, trying to ignore them so they won't trigger your own you look through the fridge. You suddenly take a deep breath, while looking for a meat in your fridge, and let out a shrill trill. Kinda sounds like a Togepi's cry from the cartoon. Shaking your head your eyes catch the eggs and turkey sausages you have.

“Will turkey sausage and eggs work for you two?”

“Never had turkey sausage but it should be fine.” he's leaning forward resting his head in his arms on the table as Connor lays by his bouncing feet.

You set the eye to medium heat and put the sausages on first, leaving three out for Connor. He is a big dog after all. You turned your focus on preparing Connor's oatmeal while the sausages cooked. It was kinda nice having company over even though the circumstances weren't the best. Your neck jerks to the side three times before pulling back. There's more on the way your neck didn't crack and your body doesn't let up until it does.

“So what disorder do you have?” You turn to give Toby a confused look you hope he can read through your mask.

“...I have a few..you want the list?”

“No, the tics. Lower level Tourettes or what?”

“Oh, they stem from my” head jerking twice to the side before cracking “there we go.” “Sorry, they stem from my Autism, at least that's the best I can gather without seeing a specialist. Virginia doctors suck big time.”

“Tell me about it.” that perks you right up, you knew you caught a transatlantic accent, it's pretty much the lack of an accent that gives Virginians away so easily. You already have two guesses on where Toby came from.

“I knew it, you're from Halifax aren't you?!” Since you've turned around to face him you see the exact moment his face drops. Eyes shocked wide open.

“How...did”

“Oh it's easy once you know what to listen for, in fact it was the total lack of any distinguishing accent or use of slang that gave you a way. A lot of people don't notice what they take from their communities linguistically speaking. And for us Virginians it's what we don't take. It's such a bland neutral midpoint it's why it had been so coveted during the radio era and while we might've lost the in-fluctuations as time went by, no longer needing them for our voices to be heard over various frequencies....am I talking too much you can tell me to shut up, really you won't hurt my feelings.” you give Toby a minute to process everything you've just said.

“Special interest?”

“mmm, more a...an interesting factoid.” you hope he registers your smile, hell you hope he doesn't think you're weird. You know how much you can be sometimes, especially when you info dump or overshare information. He manages to nod along with you before finding his voice again.

“Lemme guess NOVA?”

“Pfft, seriously.” you really need him to at least register the disgust on your face if he hasn't been able to read you before, “Listen the Beach isn't much better but I'd probably off myself if I was from NOVA.”

“A public service really.”

You both stare at each other before breaking into a fit of laughter. It's nothing huge but it does seem to put Toby more at ease you noticed. In the time it took you to make breakfast for all three of you you've found out a little bit more about Toby.

He's uncomfortable talking about his hometown, at least you assume, so instead he mentions that he recently came to town with his friends, Brian and Tim. Talks mostly about Connor and you learn he's to help alert Toby of his Tourettes when driving and he can even detect seizures with Brian. That's amazing, service dogs have sure come a long way! And you love hearing what a silly puppy Connor is off duty, it makes you smile. Toby in turn asks about you, and you are such a well of stories. You tell him about your family back on the coast, about your recent move to Kepler, give him a little info on Kepler to help him adjust to his stay, and even get on the topic of your extensive work with animals.

“Sounds like you were working towards being a trainer, why didn't you?”

Making a sound that sort of sounds like a jumbled 'I dunno', “Sort of don't like people that much. Dogs are fine, less complex and less likely to complain when you do something in a different way. But a trainer doesn't train the dog, they train the people.” You're placing Connor's food in front of him as he sits patiently.

It's quiet for a moment as you place a plate in front of Toby and set yours down as well. Not tense just quiet, it's very calming really. Until Toby ruins it.

“Thanks Connor.”

Like he's a voice actor who is over exaggerating the sound effects of a dog munching away at their bowl. Connor inhales harshly before diving head first into the bowl. The dog is ferociously tearing into his breakfast and you can't help the laughter that spills from you at his enthusiasm. Hands coming up near your face and shaking as you shift from foot to foot. It's a happy stim, cute dogs are of course a trigger, someone can complain later you're happy to see a happy excited pup any day.

Taking your seat and turning your attention to your food, you see Toby hasn't touched his own. He's staring at the plate with a furrowed brow, he glances up to you as you remove your mask. You feel a bit vulnerable to be honest.

“Oh is something wrong? Do you want something else?” He's a guest who's helped you twice now the least you can do is make sure he leaves your home full.

It takes a moment but he gathers his thoughts to explain, “I have a scar...it's pretty bad.” he looks away from you.

You tilt your head not quiet understanding what he means, “Cool story, do you want me to look away?”

He stalls at this, you just keep throwing him for a loop since you met the other day. While he thinks on it you scoop some of your eggs on your spoon and into your mouth. Perfect texture and prefect flavor, today will be good.

Toby seems to have made his decision and without any show he takes his mask off to begin eating. You can see the scar he was talking about, and while the currently red and bleeding'?!' scar on the left corner of his mouth was bad it wasn't much compared to the gaping hole further up that side on his cheek. You can clearly see the even whiter, how this boy is so pale is beyond you, skin around the edges suggesting the wound was older and had started to heal at some point. But you could see most of the teeth on the left side of his mouth. You've never seen these teeth while they were still in the head. A skull or 3D model yea. But never a living breathing person's head. It's fascinating really, you hadn't even noticed that you finished your breakfast as you watched him eat, you were so enthralled.

“You know your lip's bleeding right?” eyes never leaving the boy's teeth as you see them grind down the eggs into the tiniest particles. Neat!

“Rwhatf?” the way he can talk with his mouth full without spilling it from the hole is fucking magic and you won't hear another word on it.

He takes a drink of water, again it doesn't spill. Then you notice the slight tilt of his head...oh he's had practice doing this. Impressive honestly.

“That's what you choose to comment on?” his eyes narrow at you're still gawking form.

“I'm sorry I've just never seen those type of teeth still in head, normally muscle and...and skin cover them. So this is really cool to see them in action!” gosh you're so damn weird. By his stupefied expression Toby seems to think so too.

“Plus the wound looks healed but the lips look fresh,” you get up and grab a few paper towels bringing them over to offer to Toby, “Not to mention it's bleeding and you haven't once wiped it.”

He doesn't reply as he takes the napkins from you and dabs at his scarred lip, looking back and seeing blood just as you said. He was right when he thought he'd been biting himself a few hours ago. He'd totally forgotten to check after getting you home.

“Well I don't feel it so I didn't know actually.” he just resumes eating as if this conversation didn't happen.

“Didn't, didn't, didn't” you get stuck in a loop for a bit before breaking out “you didn't feel it? What do you have congenital insensitivity to pain?” you ask incredulously.

“I haven't heard it called that since I got diagnosed.” still eating he looks at you through his long eyelashes.

This dude could not be a real person. You had to have been imagining your dream friend. Everything you learned about Toby was more interesting than the last...at least for you it was.

“Medical history podcasts are interesting.” you shrug, “should I get the first aid kit?” at his shrug you get up and go to your bathroom to retrieve the kit.

Coming back into the kitchen you catch Toby lowering your plates for Connor to lick clean. You don't see a problem with it but you will wash everything twice since the pup has slobbered on nearly everything anyway. When you don't say anything he lets Connor continue before placing the dishes in your sink.

“Such a big help” you say patting Connor's head as you pass him, “Yea I really am” Toby says as he sits back down. Propping his arm up on the table to rest his head on his knuckles, it was such a fluid and casual motion. As if he's sat at this table everyday of his life, like this was his home and you were his guest. Tied in with how comfy he is man spreading at your kitchen table you'd say he made himself at home just fine.

You smile and scoot your chair next to him first aid kit in between you on the table. Toby looks between you and the kit before leaning in closer for you to work. Grabbing the antiseptic cleaning towels you go to wipe Toby's lip when he flinches away. Probably faking to see your reaction.

“Oh, fuck off you have CIPA.” you laugh grabbing his chin to keep him in place. He rolls his eyes “And you're weird.” The vibrations feel weird against your fingers.

“I know.” you continue cleaning the small bite mark? Well he does have CIPA he wouldn't be able to feel the pain if he was gnawing at his lips. Would he be able to taste the metallic tang of his blood or were taste buds effected by the disorder too? You might need to do another deep dive on this, it just became relevant. Maybe an anxious tic, judging from the larger wound it could be possible. Wearing a mask must help to hide it but not not to stop it getting worse if no one can call you out on it.

“That wasn't an insult...” he says making you look up into his eyes as you dry the wound, “I know.” You smile down at him, knowing this time he can see it on your maskless face.

When you finished cleaning his wounded lips, you drove Toby and Connor back to their home. Which turned out to be the RV at the forgotten entrance of the forest. Toby had been a little wary you knew where he was talking about but seemed to shake it off just as quick when you mentioned hiking a lot and using that entrance because it was the closest to you.

He had put Connor's vest back on and hopped in the back with him. You noticed from the review that Connor's full attention was on you.

“This set up let's him focus on the driver, so he'll tell us if something will impede your driving.” Well that explains Brian's position the first time you four met.

Nodding you sync you phone with the car's bluetooth and pass it to Toby with spotify open.

“Rules of the road, passenger picks music.” you say simply when he questioned it.

He quickly clicked your last playlist. Probably either too lazy to find something or trying to get a better read on you. Music says a lot about a person even if not everyone thinks that way. And unfortunately for you this playlist screams mental illness and a need for therapy. But you have folk punk. So who needs therapy when you can just scream cry these lyrics.

Toby doesn't comment on it, either just totally apathetic or maybe he likes it. He's a bit of an enigma, he's open and honest for the most part but saves his opinions unless directly asked.

Even after making it to the RV without incident Toby tries to distract you for a bit and tempt you out of the car with the possibility of playing with Connor. As fun as the idea sounds and as much as you don't want to be rude, you're very tired and drained. Probably more from “hanging out” with Toby this morning than your actual episode last night. Plus you understand Toby's just trying to be nice and maybe ensure your safety.

“Could I maybe rain-check? I'm actually really tired.” you say with your most polite smile, though he can't see it through the mask you know he sees the crinkle of your eyes.

“Sure, just get home safe.” you feel that's less about you, but you aren't sure what the hanging subject is. So cryptic.

“Yup,” you chirp, “See you later Tobias!” as you start to back out back onto the road you hear Toby say “ Later YN.”

Driving off you can't keep the smile off of your face. Toby's a nice guy, you hope you get to spend more time with him. And this time the thought isn't centered around also hanging out with Connor. Just about enjoying Toby's company.

Getting home and locking your door you strip your jeans and flannel, leaving you only in your muscle tee, and curl up in your unkempt sheets. You'll do laundry later, right now was time for a little nap.

#ticci tobyx reader #ticci toby #ticcitoby #hoodie x reader #masky x reader #timothy wright x reader #brain thomas x reader #reader insert #mask #hoodie #timothy wright x brian thomas #timothy wright #brian thomas #creepypasta fanfic #A cure for insomnia

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rpmemesbyarat · 4 years ago

Conversation

RP Meme from " Corax" in "Chapter Two: The Changing Breeds" from the World of Darkness "Changing Breeds" book (20th Anniversary edition)

Seriously? Who writes this stuff?

You’re never going to learn the real story about who you are from that hack.

You know how the littlest kid is always the one who runs to Mom with every little thing their siblings do wrong? That’s us. We’re the tattletales.

You know why we can’t settle down? Cuz they’re everywhere, so we have to be, too.

We’re built to go everywhere, see everything. No homebodies allowed.

If there are secrets going on, you can bet there’s one of us, listening in, poking around, getting a gander — so to speak.

We see something going on — we gotta spread the word.

No, I don’t mean porn — well, not just porn, anyway.

We make the Net look like a buncha clay tablets with “Cleo Was Here” scrawled on them. We’re bleeding edge, eyes-in-the-sky, grade A, number one know-it-alls.

Information’s no good if the messenger can’t deliver it.

Oh, we’re nasty enough in a scrap, and we’ve got a few tricks up our sleeves, but the truth is we’re not built for going toe-to-toe.

Fight sneaky, the way we do everything else, and you’re more likely to survive to tell a tale — or pull a prank — another day.

Most of the time, there’s a method to our madness, a lesson in the lemon-meringue.

See, some folks just don’t listen the easy way.

You should know where your allegiances lie.

Find stuff. Tell people.

Laugh, because the world ain’t getting any prettier.

You’re learning already. But, here’s something you gotta know; Once I finish teaching you the basics, you’re on your own.

Now, don’t look like that.

I mean, what’s the good of gathering stories if you don’t get to tell them in front of a group every now and then?

As for specific operations, well, I can’t tell you much beyond “they exist”, because I don’t know.

If you’re heading in a way that crosses winds with one of them, they’ll find you and tell you what you need to know about hooking up with them.

High tech, big business, politics? We’re there too.

Japan? Europe? The Middle East? You name it, one of us has an eye on it.

Well, let’s just say that if you turn over enough stones, you’re eventually going to find more than dirt underneath one.

Do your job right, and there’s a good chance you’ll find yourself in a heap of trouble soon or later.

Quit thinking so literally!

The possibilities are, as they say, endless.

Between Facebook, Twitter, and all that jazz, almost everyone has some sort of internet presence — and online friends — these days.

A couple of dummy accounts armed with stock photos and a fake bio, and suddenly I’m “friends” with whatever patsy I’m looking for more info on.

If I’m lucky, he’ll keep a running dialogue with his hundred closest buddies about where he’s “checking in” for the meeting I want to listen in on.

If I’m really lucky, he’ll jump on instant messaging and try to impress his new “follower” with some handy details that can be used against him.

Of course, if I’m unlucky, I might end up with pictures of his naked junk, but even those can be used for blackmail or sold off to the highest bidder — it’s gross, but hey, them’s the breaks in the info business.

Government agencies are required to make certain files accessible to the public. So, a lot of that stuff we used to have to wing it down to the archives office to get a gander at is now available on a point-and-click basis through one website or another.

If you can get a hacker on your side, there’s almost nothing you can’t find out about someone.

Debit card transaction records, ISP cookie files, internet site caches, phone and text message logs? Easy breezy, lemon-squeezy, if you know what I mean.

Don’t get me wrong. We were made to do what we do — and to do it well. Like any fine piece of equipment, form follows function, and all that jazz.

I thought that might get your attention.

What? You don’t know that one? I’ll tell you later.

The thing? Where you drink the stuff from a corpse’s eye, and you see the last thing it saw before it died?

Oh, come on now; don’t make that face. You’ll take to it quick enough.

There’s no better way to get information on what killed some poor schmuck, or why it was done.

See, that’s another thing about being one of us. That whole discretion thing? Not so much. We can’t shut up.

Hey, don’t tell me you noticed; that’s disrespectful.

Information wants to be free, and it’s hard as hell for us to hold back when we know a juicy tidbit.

You probably have noticed that there’s some differences between, say, me and you.

You’re probably more comfortable that way, cuz it’s how you were born.

Y’all are usually pretty cliquish, talkative — even by our standards — and a little fuzzy on the notion of property rights where shiny things are concerned.

We tend toward the twitchy loner type.

We’re generalists, built to survive anywhere, under any circumstances.

Sure, it’s fun to go poking after spooky stuff; all kinds of interesting things hiding out in the shadows.

Just make sure if you join up with a band of these guys, that at least one of you has the brains to keep an eye on where the exits are.

Don’t be dumb enough to think stumbling onto something interesting means you’re tough enough to deal with it yourself

Oh, and once they start talking? Pack a lunch. You’re gonna be there a while.

But their big money makers aren’t “things” at all — they’re secrets.

Passwords, bleeding-edge code, blackmail fodder, and anything else that someone doesn’t want brought to light?

Their CEO is riding the headwinds of technology at this point, and there are big things on the horizon for the “company”.

It’s creepy as hell.

You either high-tail it out of there, or prepare to be a part of the fighting, cuz things are about to get crazy.

They’re always picking fights, causing trouble, and generally being the biggest bitches they can get away with.

Trying to be bad, yep, yep, yep. Pulling it off? Sometimes.

Oh, and it’s a girls’ club only. No boys allowed.

Most of the time, they’re never heard from again.

There’s stuff out there that would eat a little-bit like you without even needing to spit out the bones.

I mean, time works different out there, and the rules are all wonky.

They were pure, once upon a time.

They’re the trickster’s tricksters, and they take the job damn seriously, which means they’re always practicing — and pissing people off.

It looks kind of goofy, and you walk funny while you’re in it.

Most of us are thin and don’t tan well, which makes us kinda look like underfed Goths.

It’s not a sure-fire giveaway, but it can be a clue.

Hold your head high.

We’re big, we’re smart, we’re fast, we’re beautiful; what’s not to love?

I don’t even want to talk about the feet.

It's just humiliating.

We look out for you, and you look out for us. Capische?

They talk too much, but if you know what to listen for and what to ignore, you can learn a lot. Assuming you don’t kill them first.

They irritate without making enemies.

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

#rp meme #rp starters #rp memes #roleplay memes #roleplay meme #roleplay starters #changing breeds #corax #world of darkness #wereravens #werewolf the apocalypse #owod

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angels-heap · 5 years ago

Text

Time for today’s episode of “K (Possibly) Expresses an Unpopular Opinion Because She Genuinely Does Not Understand a Thing:”

Can someone please explain to me, without calling me a slur, accusing me of predatory behavior, or telling me to go fuck myself, why it’s seen as weird not to have a DNI list on your blog? I know why people think it’s weird not to have a carrd and I'm not changing my stance that the internet is not entitled to know all of my identifiable personal info and the details of my medical conditions, but I’ve seen a post several times today saying that people without DNIs, specifically, are “scary" and I am confused.

[Don’t reblog this.]

I always thought DNI banners/lists evolved because certain kinds of blogs (aesthetic, stim, etc.) were uncomfortable with kink/fetish/otherwise creepy or potentially triggering blogs interacting with their content, and those banners were generally an effective deterrent. Not sure when that morphed into “every user of this website should have a list of groups they don’t want interacting with them or it’s weird,” or how effective those DNI lists actually are (especially seeing as most of them are virtually identical). I mean, I do my best to abide by other people’s DNIs (when I can access them; mobile tumblr is a whole other issue), but I feel like actual creeps and bigots either aren’t going to look or aren’t going to care?

I don’t have a DNI because I don’t expect sketchy people to voluntarily weed themselves out. I have a public blog on the internet; part of the internet experience is knowing that you’ll occasionally cross paths with creeps, and having a way to deal with that. When someone follows me, I usually skim over their blog to make sure they’re not obviously a terrible person, and if they are, I’ll block them. If I find out that they’re terrible later, I’ll also block them. Easy peasy. My lack of a DNI doesn’t seem to have attracted a disproportionate number of sketchy followers.

In the HL fandom, most of the trash takes itself out when you post anything about Freemance, and I really have better things to do than worry myself to death over whether a new follower likes a “problematic” piece of media or reblogged from a recently outed predator in way back in 2012, or whatever. If not obsessively trying to police people and content on tumblr dot com makes me “scary,” then I guess I’m scary.

Seriously though, thoughts on this are welcome. If there’s something I’m missing, show me the light.

#K talks #this got a bit rambley but the question still stands #here's hoping I'm not made to regret asking this later #don't reblog

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more--than--anything · 5 years ago

Text

Episode Review: "These people are all the family I have now." [S05E05]

Instead of asking how you liked the episode this week, we should just ask... Are you okay??

Y: I don’t think I have ever been this not okay. I don’t know when I’ll ever get even close to being okay after this.

L: Same. That hurt on pretty much every level. And we ran out of chocolate halfway through.

Let’s start with the case of the week, which wasn’t so much of a case as it was a massive round of “panic in the bunker.” How does Team Bunker rally to save their captured and wounded teammates?

L: As is often the case, this episode feels like it starts just moments after the last one ended (although there was apparently time for Jane to take the train back to the bunker with a bullet hole in her side; I guess public transportation is full of bizarre sights all around the globe). The team immediately sets to work trying to locate Weller, once again hampered by normal people computers. But Ivy’s people are very good at what they do, and the SUV they speed off in is careful to avoid traffic cameras. The team is forced to deal with the idea that they might not be able to find Kurt before Ivy tortures their location out of him, but before they can seriously consider leaving the bunker, Jane collapses, and the team realizes that her idea of a “graze” is more like a normal person’s “get my affairs in order” wound.

No one in the bunker feels confident about the idea of operating on Jane to remove the bullet, but she refuses to go to a hospital with Kurt still in Ivy’s clutches, so the team preps her for surgery (and by “preps” we mean Patterson gathers medical supplies from their rather impressive stockpile while Rich freaks out). And then we get a totally awkward moment in which, despite Rich’s desperate attempts at deflection, Tasha is cornered into admitting that even though she is the only person in the bunker with the right blood type, she can’t donate blood for Jane because she is pregnant. Talk about a pregnant pause. Tasha insists that it’s okay, she’ll donate in spite of the risk, but Jane flatly refuses to let her. And then, proving that she is every bit the badass we think she is, Jane proceeds to direct Patterson through the surgery to remove the bullet as she watches in a strategically-placed mirror. I’m not particularly squeamish, but I am not going to lie; this whole scene had me curled up in the fetal position. Patterson gets the bullet out, but Jane passes out, and just as Tasha is about to donate blood anyway, Rich shows up clutching an Igloo cooler with a bag of blood for Jane.

Not to be outdone, Patterson proves that she almost as badass as Jane by completing the surgery and immediately continuing the search for Kurt. Ivy’s team ditched the SUV, but there were only four roads out of the location where it was found, and two of those roads are washed out. Tasha’s had enough of being treated like glass, so she grabs a gun and heads out to Germany to be ready to follow up on whatever lead Patterson has by then. Patterson and Rich don’t let her down; they figure out the likely route the Dabbur Zann would have taken and locate an abandoned machine shop along the way. They send the info to Tasha so she can collect their stubbly, drugged up, emotionally destroyed friend. And again, I’m wondering exactly how they got back to Prague on the train, but I suppose people around them not-incorrectly assumed Kurt was just going through detox and gave them a wide berth.

So this week’s case was less a case than it was damage control. And the damage wasn’t too bad, all things considered. Jane is recovering from her bullet wound. Their location is still more or less secure. Ivy and company are still alive and know that the team is squirreled away in a European bunker, but it’s still not going to be easy to find them. Bethany is out of the hospital and has disappeared underground again with Allie. And in the meantime, the team has the footage from Ivy’s camera that Kurt swiped on his way out that gives them a cell phone number that Ivy called before she began torturing Kurt. It’s a small clue, but it’s something, so today seems like another mark in the win column.

But this is Blindspot, and we can’t end on an upbeat note. Just as our team is able to take a deep breath and relax, their old buddy Ice Cream and compatriots burst into the bunker and demand that Rich hand over the Gardner paintings. Which of course he doesn’t have. So you know what that means: We get a heist next week!

And honestly, I’m all for it. That will be much easier on my nerves!

Y: It’s really hard to determine whether this week was a loss or a win for our team. So far this season, their losses have outweighed their wins and even when it was a win, it still managed to carry some feeling of loss with it. Unfortunately, with Madeline things are proving a lot harder than ever before. And that is for many reasons. Madeline plays way more outside the box than anyone else. Her endgame is so unclear. And on top of that, the team is playing with more disadvantages than anyone can be comfortable with—they’re a man down, they’re being hunted by every law enforcement agency in the world, and they don’t have access to their favorite toys or their strongest allies.

Another disadvantage is that the team is still playing defense against Madeline. With such limited access to intel, all they can do now is attempt to block anything she’s trying to do. I don’t know how they can do so, but to cause serious damage against her they need to start playing offense.

But anyway, back to this episode. Stopping the chemicals from getting into Dabbur Zann’s hands was definitely a win. And tracking the phone number they got from the surveillance footage is definitely a win. It finally gives them a window into what Ivy and her team are doing.

The one thing that is questionable as to what column it belongs is Ivy surviving this week. I’m going to try and be the glass half full person here and say it might not end up as bad as we fear. Yes, it keeps Ivy in the game and now she has one piece of information she can work with when it comes to tracking the team. But Ivy surviving this might also be bad news for her. She had Kurt Weller right there and lost him. And we know how Madeline feels about people who fail her.

She’s not a big fan of them. So who knows... maybe Ivy failing at this mission will be too much for Maddie to swallow?

Although as much as I hate her, I think she’s a formidable opponent, and I’d like to see her stick around a little longer. Mostly just to see the team take her down properly.

Even in the face of multiple crises, our team continues to cope with their personal turmoils as best they can. But what does all this mean to their family dynamic?

Y: This team... this team is everything. We know this team is capable of doing things that are beyond amazing. They save the world on a daily basis and do it in style. But whenever the case is saving one of their own, they turn that dial up and become infinitely more amazing than they are on a typical workday. We’ve seen this happening since day one. It’s not a new thing.

So what happens when it’s two of their own who need saving?

Magic. Pure magic.

Seriously, what the team was able to accomplish this week is right up there with stopping Shepherd and Sandstorm from nuking the East Coast. And for the sake of shaking things up, let’s start with Patterson this week. And the reason for that is while once again we saw Patterson be brilliant, we also had a rare glimpse of Patterson portraying some “intellectual” vulnerability.

I loved that moment when Patterson pauses and admits that she’s not confident enough to perform the surgery—that despite usually giving off an air of being good at everything, this just might be the line where Patterson’s expertise stops.

And I have a feeling that put in the same situation under any other circumstances, Patterson wouldn’t have hesitated as much. I think part of what made her take a step back is the fact that she’s having to perform surgery on Jane—one of their own. I honestly believe that Patterson does possess the basic know-how of how to perform this surgery. But I think that was outweighed by the fear of anything happening to Jane on the operating table and the fact that Kurt is out there most definitely being tortured by the Dabbur Zan. We got to see Patterson’s heart overpower her mind for once.

But the minute Jane’s out of danger and Patterson’s back where she’s most comfortable—behind her computer—she’s back to being that confident badass genius we know her to be.

L: It’s not that often that we hear Patterson say something like, “I honestly don’t think we can do this.” She is always certain that they can think of a way out, and she is usually the one who comes up with the solution that saves the day. But operating on Jane sends her way outside of her comfort zone, and frankly, watching Patterson, I think I was as tense as she was. But I also loved the way Jane kept reassuring her, telling her that she could do this and giving her the confidence to go on. There is something about the friendship between these women and how they support each other that is just so awesome.

My read on Patterson this week was that she definitely did not feel confident in operating on Jane, but she knew that Jane wasn’t going to go to the hospital, so if Jane was going to survive then it was up to Patterson to do it. And Patterson being Patterson, she more than rises to the occasion. And I think some of that goes back to that “birth of a leader” moment we talked about in the season 4 finale. It’s not just that Patterson is smart; there are plenty of people out there who are extremely smart but are far more comfortable to fade into the background and let others take the lead. But Patterson isn’t going to ask anyone else to shoulder the responsibility for Jane’s survival. Like any good leader, she steps up to shoulder the risk herself. In some ways, she was protecting Tasha and Rich—if the outcome was bad, she would be the one to carry the blame, not them. And then Jane one-ups her, by taking the decision out of Patterson’s hands to relieve her of that burden. Again, these women!!

But even worse than the surgery, I think that finding out about Tasha’s pregnancy—and that Rich was in on the secret but she was not—was the biggest trauma for Patterson in this episode. We’ve commented before that the friendship between Tasha and Patterson never really recovered from Tasha concealing Borden’s role with the CIA. And while keeping the information about Borden from Patterson was a mistake in retrospect, I do understand Tasha’s position: Tasha Zapata is fiercely loyal to the people she loves. And she expected that Patterson would know that and would understand that if Tasha kept something from her, it was to protect her from being hurt. But Patterson, of course, saw it as an unforgivable betrayal. And although I do think that by now Patterson has more or less gotten past that, in the shocked moment after she found out about Tasha’s pregnancy, I think she finally realized that Tasha hadn’t ever really gotten over Patterson’s lack of trust in her. And frankly, I don’t think she really considered that before. I think she was too overwhelmed by her own pain to see that Tasha might have been hurt by the way Patterson cut her out of her life.

So yes, it made total sense for Patterson to reach out to Tasha with love and concern and support, to try to overcome that breach—but unfortunately, Tasha was really not ready to deal with any of that.

Y: Patterson is also terribly socially awkward because Patterson trying to convey to Tasha that she’s there for her and she supports her through what she’s going through was just so... beautifully awkward. But we really can’t put all the blame on Patterson because Tasha isn’t making it any easy for people to be there for her. Because in her words, Tasha doesn’t do feelings. Also in her words, Tasha likes it better when they all had their secrets.

That line cracked me up, as did the whole scene leading up to Tasha blurting out the news of her pregnancy. We talked last week about how the pregnancy can serve as a motivation for Tasha to keep fighting and as a force that helps ground her and help her focus. But to be fair to Tasha, it’s easy for us to put all that in words. It would have been unrealistic for Tasha to just flip a switch from one episode to another—especially when they’re separated by just a few hours—and be all perfectly fine with it all. I appreciate that they are making Tasha struggle with this information. It’s normal for anyone, especially for someone like Tasha and given... everything, to not be sure where she stands or how she feels or what exactly she’s supposed to do now.

The team is supportive and showing her all the love and encouragement that they can. But it’s understandable that she feels suffocated right now. It’s not that she doesn’t appreciate everything they’re offering but it’s all so... overwhelming and terrifying. And Tasha is the kind of person who handles her things alone, in private, and doesn’t share until it’s absolutely necessary. So let’s just give her the space and time she needs and she’ll be okay. I know she will.

L: You know this season is tough when Jane gets shot, Kurt gets tortured, and Tasha still gets put through the wringer during a single episode.

I have to say, I totally get Patterson’s urge to want to surround Tasha with love and concern. But I also understand why that is the very last thing Tasha is ready for right now. And it might be the most honest Tasha has been since the start of this season when she says, “I appreciate your support. Everybody’s support. But I’m getting a little tired of all of the love and concern. You want to support me? Stop telling me how to feel and give me a second to figure out how I feel.”

Think about the confusing mess swirling around inside Tasha right now. Reade is dead; he is the one she wants here with her. Before Reade, she wasn’t sure she could even manage to maintain a relationship with another adult. Taking care of a kid is a crazy level of commitment way beyond that. In 2.15, she told Jane that her grandmother “tells me my ovaries are dying.” I’m not sure Tasha has ever given much thought to having kids, except maybe to think that it wasn’t for her.

But now she’s got a kid on the way, and she’s got Patterson being so determinedly happy about it, only it’s not happening to Patterson’s body, it’s happening to Tasha’s. Pregnancy is a risk for a normal woman, with regular access to prenatal care. But for a woman on the run, living in hiding, and engaging in almost-daily firefights with evil henchmen who want to kill her, where even the slightest slowing of her reflexes could mean certain death? Make no mistake, deciding to keep this baby would be a huge risk for Tasha, and it’s clear that she hasn’t really decided to take that risk yet and commit to having a child. And even if she does decide to go through with it, and even if they do survive this fight and clear their names... then what? Her line of work isn’t really conducive to single motherhood. How could she juggle a baby and a career like the one she had?

So for now, you can’t really blame Tasha for not wanting to think about any of that. She is, like Jane, a very practical person who deals with the crisis in front of her. And right now, that crisis is Jane. And if she can solve this crisis by donating blood to Jane, then, well, as she tells them, “It is my risk to take, and I say it’s fine.” That’s the kind of friend Tasha Zapata is. This pregnancy might not be quite real to her yet, but Jane is real, and she is one of the tiny group of people that Tasha calls family, and if Jane needs blood, then Tasha is gonna give her blood, no matter what she stands to lose as a result. Jane refuses to let her donate, but when Tasha thinks that they are losing Jane, her immediate response is, “Screw it, we’re out of time. Prep me for a transfusion.” Honestly, Tasha Zapata is the kind of friend we all want but very, very few of us will get.

But there is a little bit of irony here. This is the second time that we’ve seen Jane get shot in the gut, and the first time was at Tasha’s hands. So you have to wonder if Tasha is remembering that now and realizing what Jane went through last time. No, I don’t think that’s why she was willing to offer up her blood, but if Jane had taken her up on the offer, I am sure it would have alleviated the guilt Tasha likely still harbors about shooting Jane in season 2.

And when you think about it.... everyone surrounding Jane at the operating table has been shot. Tasha was shot during the Sandstorm raid on the NYO. Patterson was shot in the gut by Borden. Rich was shot in foot by Weller. But Jane, ever the overachiever, was shot first in the pilot (well, okay, that one really was a graze), then by Tasha, and has now moved on to the bonus round. Can they please hurry up and defeat Madeline before the rest of the team plays catch up?!

But of all of the Tasha scenes in this episode (every one of which Audrey Esparza knocked out of the park), my favorite might be the scene with Kurt at the end, when she meets up with him after Ivy has tortured him. Kurt is drugged out of his mind and still doesn’t know what’s real, and he thinks that she is Ivy in another hallucination. He points his gun at Tasha, and in much the same way as she is willing to risk her baby to donate blood for Jane, she stands there in front of his gun and carefully talks him down from that edge to convince him to go with her. “How do I know the right thing to do?” Kurt asks her. “You can’t,” Tasha tells him, “You need to trust me. You need to take a leap of faith.” And that, more than anything, is what this season is all about. Every member of this team has to trust each other, and they all have to take that leap of faith that they are doing the right thing, because that is the only way they are all going to get through this.

And Tasha might have to take an even bigger leap of faith than the rest of them as she decides what to do about her pregnancy.

Y: And last but certainly not least, we have Rich Dotcom. Another episode, another opportunity for Rich to be the incredible character we’ve watched him become. For starters, he’s the only one to react normally to the plan to perform surgery on Jane in the bunker—and that is to completely freak out and panic because that idea is cuckoo bananas. Seriously, you know things aren’t right when Rich is the one thinking straight and being logical. But I guess this is the season for things to not make sense. Madeline is the savior of the FBI and our team are terrorists. So Rich being the sensible one fits right into that formula I guess.

But what Rich has been especially good at this season is being an amazing friend and protecting his team at all costs. And we saw that, in all the Rich awkwardness and hilarity, when he tries to keep Tasha’s secret while also trying to stop her from making a stupid decision and endangering her unborn child. Rich bends backwards with ridiculous excuses and is willing to make a fool of himself just to protect his friend and keep her safe.

And then he takes it one step further and saves his other friend. Rich manages to protect Tasha and save Jane—and later plays his part in locating Kurt. Rich takes a huge risk, he knows it, but he’s not going to let Tasha endanger her life or Jane lose hers. And of course Rich has been in town a few months but he already has a blood guy!! Unfortunately, a guy who can hook you up with human blood in under thirty minutes has to be a shady guy. And unfortunately, shady guys usually hang around with other shady guys. No one can really blame Rich for what this all leads to—for his blood guy leading Ice Cream to the team. And honestly, the price paid is worth it when the alternative was Tasha or Jane’s lives. The team has dealt with people far more dangerous than Ice Cream, so they can handle him. The only real problem is him leading anyone else to them and the time they’re going to waste getting those paintings—time better spent fighting Madeline.

L: I absolutely adore Rich in his new role as the team’s secret-keeper. You have to love the way he scrambles so hard to find a reason to explain why Tasha can’t donate blood without giving her secret away. As long as we’ve known Rich, he’s been the guy with no filter, blurting out whatever inappropriate thought tumbles into his mind. The discretion he’s shown Tasha—even when Patterson asked him directly in the last episode—is all the more special because we know how hard this must be for him; he is going against all of his natural instincts to try to protect this secret for her.

And then the way he scrambles to find another solution to their problem. For all that he pretended not to know “what’s her name,” he knows there is no question that Tasha will sacrifice herself and/or her child for Jane. So to protect her from having to do that, he puts himself at risk instead by leaving the bunker to contact someone locally who can get him the blood that they need. And, yes, this put him and the team at risk, showing that their location was somewhere near enough that a cooler of blood can be transported in time to be useful, but Rich is willing to stick his neck out to save both Jane and Tasha.

Yeah, our favorite criminal is all grown up.

Jane’s been through a lot over the years. Even getting shot isn’t a new experience for her. But this week pushes her to her physical and emotional limits. How does she take charge, even while laying flat on her back?

Y: Jane Doe took being Jane Doe to a whole new level this week. Sure, she somehow spent most of the episode lying down but it was probably one of the toughest episodes for her. And also we have to give credit to Jaimie here because, again, while she may have spent most of it lying down, she took Jane to places, both emotionally and mentally, that she’d never been before.

Jane Doe is strong. Honestly, that’s the one word that keeps coming back to me. She’s strong. Not just physically strong. And not just strong for herself. Jane has a kind of strength that makes the people around her strong. A strength that can lift others up when needed. A strength that shines through when she’s at her weakest.

And that’s the best part of it. Physically, this episode saw Jane at close to the weakest we’ve seen her. And emotionally, she wasn’t doing so great either. And yet she managed to pull through, she managed to be a great leader, a great friend, and a great wife. It reminded me a lot of when she was buried alive and still managed to help the team locate her and rescue her. Jane Doe is a lot of things, but she’s never a damsel in distress.

Jane arrives at the bunker with a bullet in her gut but insists that the priority is finding Kurt whom she watched get shoved into the trunk of Ivy’s SUV. And she continues to deny her own injury until she can’t anymore because she passes out from blood loss. Her behavior here is a great parallel to season one when Kurt was running around New York with a punctured jugular trying to find Jane who had gone missing. Another parallel to that episode is the faith Jane has that Kurt won’t lead Ivy back to the bunker; instead her fear is that Ivy will kill Kurt when she realizes he won’t break. Similarly, Kurt had faith back in season one that Jane was not running away but was in fact protecting the team.

In this episode, Jane knows how critical her condition is, but like the true leader and the true friend that she is, she flat out refuses to let Tasha give her blood when the truth of Tasha’s pregnancy is revealed. Jane is firm in her decision. She leaves no room for negotiation on the matter and makes it clear that her decision is final. I loved the juxtaposition between Jane’s pale, tired features and her confidence and strength of character and decision—that’s the leader we’ve seen evolving all season.

But then, after that firm leadership moment, Jane and Tasha share a sweeter, gentler moment. After making her stand as a leader, Jane becomes the supportive friend, the one who is happy for her friend but also understands her hesitation and her fears. She also understands that maybe this, what they’re doing, isn’t what Tasha wants to do right now. She understands that the pregnancy can be a trigger that changes Tasha’s goals and motives right now and she offers that point of view that undoubtedly has crossed Tasha’s mind. I loved that moment because it might have seemed like Jane was suggesting the selfish option here but it’s also the safe option. It’s the option that could ensure that this child is born in a safe place and in circumstances not like the crazy ones that they are living through. It may have sounded selfish, but it came from nothing but love for Tasha.

Another incredible moment for Jane—that blended both leadership and friendship—and gave us what I think is my favorite “Blindspot ladies” scene of all time, is when Patterson admits that despite her all around brilliance, performing surgery in a dirty bunker with limited supplies isn’t really one of her strengths. And Tasha chimes in to admit that she too cannot really do this despite having some medical field training. Once again, Jane is clearly in so much pain and terrified, but she digs deep and finds unbelievable strength to lift her friends up. She gives them strength and confidence and faith in their capabilities and then she grits her teeth and talks them through the whole surgery.

And then, as they’re ready to finish up and she knows they don’t need her help anymore, she makes them promise they will find her husband, and then asks for permission to pass out.

L: Holy crap, but is Jane the most badass ninja goddess you ever saw or what?! Sure, let me travel an hour or more with a bullet in my gut so I can get back to my secret underground lair and focus on finding my husband. Just another day in the life, right? Oh, Jane. And I mean, yes, sure, this isn’t her first gunshot to the gut. But still. Undergoing surgery without anesthesia is badass. But directing that surgery via mirror? Give this girl all the badass awards ever.

But that’s the thing about Jane; she’s not just a superhero. She’s also a badass human being. We mentioned above the way she took ultimate responsibility for the surgery, to alleviate the burden of guilt from Patterson’s shoulders if it didn’t go well.

And then there was that amazing scene with Tasha. “I know we’re big on ‘All for one and one for all’ around here,” Jane tells her, “but no one would fault you for just disappearing, having this baby somewhere safe, if that’s if that’s even what you want to do.” Think about what she’s saying to Tasha here: First, that she would understand if Tasha just wanted to run away and focus on keeping herself and her baby safe, even if it meant leaving the team behind—and let’s be honest, this team is tiny and desperately needs every single one of them if they have any hope of survival. So what Jane is saying is that she wouldn’t try to talk Tasha into putting her baby at risk even if meant dooming their cause. Which is exactly in line with what she said earlier, when she refused to allow Tasha to put herself at risk by giving Jane blood, even if meant that she might die. How many friends are you truly willing to die for?

But I think the second part of her statement is just as important. “If that’s even what you want to do.” Unlike Rich and Patterson, who both leapt to the assumption that Tasha was going to have this baby, Jane is telling Tasha that she understands it’s a choice Tasha needs to make and that Tasha might not have made it yet. That’s kind of huge. Yes, these are modern women, but Jane is the only one to voice this. She’s telling Tasha that it’s okay if Tasha decides not to go through with the pregnancy. If the risk is too great, if it’s just not a burden she can carry, literally or figuratively. She’s telling Tasha that she’s here for her either way, that she will respect and support Tasha whatever she decides. Friendship without judgment is what Jane is showing here.

For an episode that spends more than half of its screen time torturing Kurt, the theme of this episode seems to be more about friendships between women. Which probably explains why we love this show So. Freaking. Much.

Kurt Weller has had more than one “not good” week since the start of this season. But I think it’s fair to say this one probably made his top ten list of “worst weeks ever.” What does it take for our favorite special agent to survive Ivy’s special treatment?

Y: It took all of him! It took everything from him!!

And yes, that is a Kurt Weller quote from season one. And I am very proud of myself for using it.

And I’ll hand it over to L for now and come back later when it has stopped raining on my face.

L: I am not sure I have ever hated a fictional character as much as I hated Ivy while I was watching this episode. But I have to give her credit. She’s horrible, but she’s very good at sizing her victims up. She figures out almost immediately that the threat of physical pain isn’t going to get her anywhere with our favorite tough guy, so she immediately shifts gears and goes for emotional pain instead. First she shows Kurt a picture of Jane collapsing from her gunshot and then offers to get her “best medical attention the American prison system can buy.” (Can we just give a shout out to Jane here? Seeing Jane injured can’t possibly be easy on Kurt, but imagine how much worse it would have hurt him if they’d parted still angry at each other.) Then she hints that Bethany is in danger. And then, having planted her evil seeds, she heads out to leave Kurt on his own and see what terrors take root.

So what darkness lurks in the shadows of Kurt Weller’s mind? We saw Shepherd torture Patterson in 2.10, and that was really, really rough. But it turns out there’s something worse than watching a character you love being physically tortured, and that’s watching one be tortured by their own subconscious, by their own deepest and darkest fears. This was as excruciating to watch as it was for Kurt to endure it. I can’t decide if I should give the writers kudos or send them the bill for the therapy I need after watching this.

In Kurt’s drug-induced delirium, we get an angst-ridden version of A Christmas Carol, in which Kurt is visited by the “ghosts” of his past (his father), his present (Oscar), and his future (grown-up Bethany). Oscar shows up first, to warn Kurt that he won’t be able to keep from divulging the team’s location by hiding behind his “bigger fears and anxieties.” So what are those fears? First and most obvious: that the team won’t win. “The bad guys never do, trust me. And like it or not, as far as the world’s concerned, you’re on the other side now,” Oscar tells him. Next: That he will accidentally reveal the team’s location to Ivy and Madeline. Then Oscar reminds him of his role in the events that lead to Reade’s death, as well as Mayfair’s and Pellington’s. Just as we saw in Jane’s nightmares, Kurt carries guilt that his actions contributed to those deaths... and the fear that he will cause the deaths of other members of his team. Digging even deeper, Oscar points out the one point that we know has been bothering Kurt since the team set out on the run: By becoming a shadowy group trying to bring down those in power, Kurt has essentially become the very thing that he hates, the thing he’s spent his whole career (and the past four seasons) fighting. “Have you ever once considered that you may be on the wrong side of history here?”

Kurt’s subconscious masquerading as Oscar keeps pushing, telling him that Kurt was just a mark to Jane, that she set out to destroy him and the team and has succeeded. Now do we think that Kurt really thinks that Jane is just manipulating him? Of course not. What’s really going on here becomes clear when Oscar taunts him, “You really think you’re that special? That someone could love you that much?” Kurt doesn’t doubt Jane’s love, he doubts his own lovability. His father was an alcoholic, his mother walked out on him, every relationship he had before Jane—including with his child’s mother—failed. How could Jane love him, when no one else could? Ouch.

And when that doesn’t break him, Oscar goes in for the kill, putting Bethany, complete with hospital bracelet and gown, in Kurt’s arms. “She’s just a little girl. If you give up the team... They’ll let her go.” (My daughter decided to watch with us this week, and I’m pretty sure that my husband was hugging the crap out of her at this point, while she quietly polished off my chocolate.) And then both Bethany and Oscar are gone and Ivy is back, gloating that Kurt revealed that his team was in a bunker (he also revealed that his daughter was in a hospital in St. Louis, which for some reason doesn’t seem as important to Ivy, although I would think that would give her more leverage on Kurt than just about anything else) and also that she made him cry. Bitch.

Y: Man, Ivy is really good at her job, isn’t she? I really hope Madeline’s paying her fairly for all her efforts. Not that I’m on Team Ivy or anything, but I’d like to think that, as a woman who’s really good at her job, she’s getting her worth on payday.

Blindspot loves to occasionally take us deep into a character’s subconscious, and last season’s venture into Jane’s remains one of my favorite episodes of all time. And this episode and the trip we take through Kurt’s has already found its place near the top of my list as well.

It’s always interesting to see how a person sees themselves and compare it to how everyone else sees them. We always knew Kurt had fears and ghosts and that there are some things about himself that he sees in ways the rest of us don’t see in him. And it’s those fears that are always there driving him and pushing him, and though he might not always be aware of them, they have their roots digging deep into him.

The choice of “ghosts” who visit him in his hallucinations is quite interesting. To be honest, Oscar is the last person I expected to show up but now that I think of it, he kind of makes sense. I would’ve assumed we could have seen Shepherd or Roman as those representing something from Jane’s past—and a lot of what Oscar does say to him could have been easily be relayed by either Shepherd or Oscar. Everything about him being on the wrong side of history could’ve been said by Shepherd or Roman—and to some extent, Shepherd has already said that to him when she tied him to a chair in season. She’d also taunted him about the two of them being the same. She also threw in the seed that Jane had been designed for him when it was his turn to interrogate her.

But I liked that it was Oscar who showed up because it was unexpected and the way I see it, and based on his final showdown with Ivy, Kurt was still somehow in control and I think using Oscar instead of Shepherd or Roman, allowed him to keep some sort of distance between him and the ghost… if that makes any sense. And moreover, Oscar can taunt him about Jane and his relationship with her in ways that neither Shepherd or Roman could. But what is important here are the fears that come to the surface. These are things we always knew Kurt carried with him but I guess we never got to see the extent of how much they weighed him down and how much they haunted him. L broke them down perfectly: his morality and his place on the good/evil spectrum, his role in the deaths of those closest to him, his lovability or just how much he deserves to be loved, and finally his competence as a father.

Those are four heavy blows and they do manage to hit Kurt hard but still he manages to find the strength to push them away, or at least push through them and withstand that first round. And once again we bid farewell to Oscar… only for him to be replaced by the one character whom I hate the most. L, feel free to hate Ivy all you want, I’ve dedicated all my hate to this monster. Bill Weller.

L: As you well know, I am no fan of Bill Weller (obligatory FUBW!). He shows up as the ghost from Kurt’s past. We might have expected to see Taylor here as the ghost who has haunted Kurt throughout his life, but what really haunts Kurt isn’t Taylor as much as it is his own failure to protect her. “I think you wanted me to kill her,” Bill tells Kurt. “I did everything I could to keep her away, and you did everything you could to keep her around. I fought, and I fought, and you wore me down.” As with Mayfair and Pellington, Kurt blames himself for Taylor’s death. If he hadn’t befriended Taylor, she wouldn’t have been in his father’s orbit, and she wouldn’t have died. And I guess this is as close as we will ever get to knowing what really happened the night Taylor died. We don’t really know if young Kurt picked up on his father’s interest in Taylor or if adult Kurt believes that he should have, but the outcome is the same either way; Kurt believes the blame lies with him for failing to keep Taylor safe. And then Bill gets to the crux of the matter: Kurt’s deepest fear is that inside of him, just like his father, lies a killer. And the camera pans back, so we can see all of the people that Kurt killed over the years in the course of his job. (We should point out, especially in light of current events, that if it really was that many people, he would have spent most of his FBI career under investigation and probably would have been fired long before Jane Doe appeared in Times Square. But this is Blindspot, where the body count is always high.)

Y: This part of the hallucination just absolutely destroyed me. I think this was the hardest part to watch. The Oscar part shared some fears and insecurities that we either knew about or that were circumstantial in some ways. Kurt’s on the wrong side of the law right now because he’s been forced there, and it’s based on lies and is something they can undo when they take down Madeline. And Kurt is separated from Bethany also due to their current circumstances when we all know that just a few weeks ago they were planning their move to Colorado to be close to her again. And even what Oscar—Kurt’s subconscious—says about him and Jane, Kurt himself is quick to deny. His faith in their relationship and their love is strong, even if some nagging insecurities will always exist. And the next part with grown up Bethany is all imaginary, a huge What If that doesn’t really have anything concrete to back it up.

But the thing with his dad... that was a little too much for me to watch. On the one hand, Bill Weller’s face alone makes me sick to my stomach. And we have to stop here and give Jay O. Sanders so much credit for just how damn good he is. He terrifies me. Absolutely terrifies with just how good he is. So we had to see Bill. We heard him talk. We heard him taunt Kurt—and not just grown up Kurt but also ten-year-old Kurt—and it was just a little too much. And then we saw him hold Taylor’s hand with her grave dug up behind them. And she was wearing those boots and holding her doll.

And since when was Blindspot a show that gave me nightmares?

Everything about this part of the episode was so perfectly done. The writing was flawless. The acting was spectacular—I mean, Sullivan Stapleton playing ten-year-old Kurt? Phenomenal. And the music and production design and the visual effects… Everything. Was. Perfect.

Linda was not mentioned here, but I am always thinking of the fact that before she left, Kurt’s mother told him he was just like his father. And now we see how Kurt sees his father. This is the monster that Kurt sees. And this is the image he has of himself. And this is heartbreaking. Absolutely heartbreaking. Because we know Kurt Weller is anything but like that. He is everything his father was not. When all those dead people step out and surround Kurt… that was a chilling moment. And again, seeing how Kurt sees himself was so interesting because here we are always referring to him as the show’s moral compass, and then we see what he sees and it’s heartbreaking. No wonder this man rarely smiles. He’s walking around with all these demons, all this weight on his shoulders and this horrible image of himself that he is never going to be worthy of anything good, that whatever good he tries to do will never make up for the evil he brings onto the world, and that in the end none of it matters because he is inherently a horrible monster.

Excuse me, but I now have to go cry again.

L: Have some more chocolate. Kurt has a lot of painful baggage, and it’s almost as painful for us to unpack as it was for him to face it!

Kurt worrying that he is like his father leads us in perfectly to Kurt’s final ghost, in the form of the young female guard keeping watch over Weller. Weller tries to appeal to her, promising to keep her safe (although as we have noted, he has no real way to do that). She tells Weller that her parents told her the same thing, right before they left and never came back. They were killed fighting the American government. “When they died, I had nothing. No one. These people are all the family I have now.” Her message is lost on Kurt at first, but then he realizes that she is a grown-up Bethany. “After you died, I was so angry. I was so lost. I read and watched everything I could find about you. All these horrible things people said you did. I hated you. But then the Dabbur Zann found me. And they told me the truth... that it was America that was rotten, that my father was a hero who died trying to change things.” And there it is. Last week, we saw Kurt agonizing over what Bethany thinks about him and why’s he’s a fugitive now. As much as Kurt fears something happening to Bethany, he fears even more letting her down the same way his father let him down. “All I’ve ever wanted is to be just like you,” she tells him in her Dabbur Zann uniform. Just like Kurt.... and just like Bill Weller and all the very worst things Kurt believes of himself, a horrifying family tradition.

There’s another fear there, hiding behind the big one, that we see when Bethany tells Kurt that her parents were killed, not just her father. Even if she did see Jane as a second mother, Bethany wouldn’t have been truly alone if Kurt and Jane died—unless Allie is killed too, another name to put on the list with Reade and Mayfair, people whose deaths Kurt can blame himself for. Yes, Allie is a US Marshal, and yes, she is smart and strong and capable. But she’s human and could be killed as easily as Kurt or any other member of the team, leaving Bethany utterly alone in the world without a protector.

Unfortunately, unlike Scrooge, Kurt doesn’t come to any happy realizations as a result of his visitors. But he does find the presence of mind to tell Ivy he was playing her as much as she was messing with him to give the team time to abandon the bunker and move to a new location, as well as lying to her about where his daughter was. Ivy can’t tell if that’s the truth any more than Kurt can tell what’s real anymore, but he does still remember how to fight, so when Ivy lashes out, he’s able to use that to his advantage and knock her out. With his father’s words still ringing in his mind, he holds a gun over her but doesn’t shoot. And just as with Scarface in the season premiere, I feel like this might have been a mistake. Yes, Kurt keeps his conscience clear for the moment, but that’s not going to be much comfort if Ivy goes on to kill some member of the team or the FBI Resistance later on.

Or maybe this show is just making me really bloodthirsty. I can’t rule that out.

There is no question that Kurt is shaken by his experiences, even after his hallucinogenic cocktail wears off. And I suppose that’s the thing about deepest fears; it is easy to pretend they aren’t there when they are shoved down in a dark corner. But it’s much harder to escape them when they’ve been dragged out into the light, and you’ve been forced to look at them. If we thought Kurt was struggling with acting outside the law at the start of the season, it’s only going to be harder for him to stomach what they’re doing now. Which is going to put them at a real disadvantage, because Ivy and her team have shown that they have absolutely zero hesitation about doing whatever it takes to get the job done, no matter how illegal or immoral. I think the soul-searching Kurt is doing now is going to continue, not just while the team continues to work to bring Ivy down, but into whatever life he and Jane decide to craft for themselves once they’re done. Which they will be able to do, because if there is one thing that we learned about Kurt Weller in this episode (no matter what he may believe) it is that he won’t bend and he won’t break until they’re all home safe and sound again.

Y: Don’t mind me. I’m still curled up here in the corner crying. Because even after all this, Kurt still manages to protect his team, still protects Bethany, still outsmarts Ivy, even though putting himself through all this shatters him mentally and emotionally, and at the end, he chooses to do what he believes is the right thing to do. He’s strong. So unbelievably strong and that strength has never shined as bright as it did in this episode when he was at his absolute weakest.

And this man is not just a good man. He is absolutely incredible. A beautiful soul and a righteous man and a good man.

Yup, you got it. Gonna go cry some more now.

All marriages have their challenges, but most marriages don’t involve torture and bullet wounds, especially not in the same day. How does our favorite couple fight for each other and their relationship when so many things are working against them?

L: If you are a new watcher to this show or if you had any question about the depth of the level of commitment between Kurt and Jane, this episode should be enough to convince you that these two love each other so much that they will do basically anything to keep the other safe. Jane refuses to go to a hospital or to leave the bunker, even if might mean that she dies from her gunshot wound, knowing that staying in the bunker with the equipment they have presents their best chance of rescuing Kurt. And Kurt? Well, as Jane says, she’s not worried at all about Kurt telling Ivy where they are; she is certain that he won’t. She’s more concerned that Ivy will figure out that Kurt would die before giving them up, and thus no longer have a reason to keep Kurt alive. (And frankly, I think it’s a legitimate concern; sending the team a picture of Kurt’s dead body, a la Sho Ahktar, would be a blow the team might never be able to recover from.) There is absolutely nothing more important to each other than the other’s safety, up to and including their own lives.

I absolutely adore the scene with Jane and Kurt back at the bunker at the end. It was the mirror image of the scene we saw between Kurt and Jane at the end of 2.21, when Jane was worrying that she would turn out like her mother and brother. Kurt reassured her, “We’re not our families. Jane, I know your heart. That is not who you are.” Tonight it is Kurt’s turn to worry that he, like his father, is a ruthless killer. He confesses to Jane that he wanted to kill Ivy, but as she reminds him, he didn’t. “I know who you are,” she tells him, “You’re Kurt Weller. You’re my husband. And you have fear and darkness and love and light inside of you, just like me and everyone else. And you are a good man.”

These two. For all that they are so tough and badass, able to rescue themselves against seemingly impossible odds, they still harbor the same weaknesses that all humans do. And what makes their relationship and their marriage so strong is that they are both able to be weak and vulnerable together in a way that they can’t be with anyone else. They have each other’s backs out in the field, but they also protect the fragile pieces at the heart of each other. And that in turn makes them both that much stronger.

Y: There were so many amazing parallels in this episode, both between it and previous episodes and also between Jane and Kurt. The parallels with previous episodes serve as a wonderful reminder and reinforcement that this relationship is at the heart of the show and at the heart of its mythology. And the parallels between the two of them are a reminder and reinforcement of how perfect they are for each other and of the love and commitment between them.

The parallel between the two of them and how perfectly perfect they are for each other was also incredibly shown not just through the writing and acting but also through the editing. I was blown away by the transitions between the Jane surgery scenes and the Kurt torture scenes. They were separately going through two of the most horrifying experiences they’ve had to endure but they both powered through and showed unbelievable strength and resilience, and a lot of it had to do with surviving to save and protect the other person. They also both risked so much and endured unbelievable pain to protect their team.

Their reunion scene in the bunker… that scene… well let’s just say I haven’t stopped watching it since the episode aired because it is all kinds of perfection. And by all kinds of perfection I mean—yes, there is actually a meaning behind this nonsense—is that it was perfect in its parallels to previous episodes, a perfectly sweet reunion, a perfect portrayal of these two and what their relationship represents, a perfect reflection of how important they are to each other, and a perfect moment for shippers to sob.

Like L pointed out, there was a parallel here to the scene in the cell in 2.21—from the topic of discussion, to the setting, to the dialogue and even the physical gestures they used to comfort each other. But there were also two less clear-cut parallels to earlier episodes. The first was to 1.02, after Jane has the memory of killing a nun and asks Kurt what if she was a bad person before this. He didn’t know her as well back then, but he still knew her enough, and he lists all the things he’s learned about her since she’d come out of the bag and reassures her that she is a good person.

There was a smaller parallel to Kurt’s wedding video message in 3.04, in which he tells Jane he loves the man that she makes him. This here, once again, breaks my heart. We’ve seen now the image of himself that lurks in Kurt’s subconscious. And for five seasons, we have seen in every single episode the man that Kurt strives to be, and it is just so beautiful to know that this man that he strives to be and the man he thinks he is—the one he questions in this episode—is a result of Jane being in his life. And the fact that she confirms to him that he is in fact that wonderful man is absolutely beautiful.

I think L covered pretty perfectly the part about these two being so perfect for each other, being so tough and resilient and yet when they’re together they allow themselves to be vulnerable and they expose their fears and weaknesses to each other knowing they will take care of that for one another and protect each other form the rest of the world. I just wanted to mention just how tender that dynamic is between them when Kurt is telling Jane about that moment when he wanted to kill Ivy. His so scared of what he might be, so ashamed of how he felt and so worried about what this means, that when he says it out loud, his voice is barely even a whisper. It is almost inaudible and yet Jane hears this loud and clear and she just wraps him up, she embraces him and holds him close and protects him from the whole world—even though this world is inside him—and that moment just melts my heart and soul.

That’s it from me. And you guessed it, I’m gonna go back to eating chocolate and crying.

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That’s really all we can take this week. We’re gonna go indulge in a little self-care to try to recover from this before the next episode. Drop by our Ask Box if you’re having trouble coping; we need a little fandom group therapy right now!

—Laura & Yas

#blindspot #blindspot: episode review #character: jane doe #character: kurt weller #character: patterson #character: tasha zapata #character: rich dotcom #ship: Jane/Kurt #character: oscar #character: Bill Weller #character: ivy sands

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