#seriously if you want to show your appreciation and support (which i love btw thank you) go buy yourself a fun beverage/dessert

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

Someone gave me crabs?? 🥺

Lil crab buddies for my dash?? I'm going to cry, that's so sweet 🥹🦀

[captainnait]

(Decided to reuploded this post because literally no one saw it. . . Oh well. Might as well tag @whocaresifwearecrazy since they could be interested in this idk)

Something that literally no one asked for - a TTwM compilation!!

I enjoyed gathering all the questions for this one. I'm not sure if I found *all* of them, but. . . Yeah. Some clips (4 out of 13) aren't mine, so I left the source in the description.

Also I wrote a little analysis/commentary thingy for all of these, which you can read down below. It's mostly just me rambling about Bob and Milan and how stupid these two are, so don't take it too seriously. I just— I just need to get this off my chest, okay 😭 also sorry for the broken english in some of these. I was half-awake when writing lol

Anyway, would really appreciate if you watch this compilation. I might do some others in the future idk. Enjoy 💖💥

As for commentary, here it is ✨

"Ode to a Garbage Can": I put this one first in the compilation, because (imo) it shows Bob's and Milan's overall dynamic perfectly - Bob tries to be as positive and supportive of Milan as he can (although with a mild success), while Milan. . . Well, he's just being himself - extremely forward and harsh, but, in the end, not minding Bob's attitude, and even engaging in a playful back-and-forth with him. It's simple, it's nice and it's going to be a repeating pattern.

. . . Aaand it's probably the most analytical I'm going to get here. Probably.

Anyway, can't say much else about this one. They're silly

"A Crappy Question": Bob here sounds so genuinely guilty 😭. And the fact that he immediately tries to make up by helping Milan with his classes— it's pretty wholesome. . . Milan slapping the living shit out of him in the end isn't tho lol

"Get Your Finger Out of Your Nose": Milan calling out Bob on literally anything is also the main point of a lot of these. And, tbh, if I worked as a janitor somewhere, where mfs like any of ydkj hosts work, I wouldn't be so happy either bruh

Anyhow, the gross out humor in the end is nothing unusual for this game. But damn, the way Milan said "chucklehead" at the end. . . He loves that idiot I'm sorry 💥💥💥

"Urinal Chips and Dip": Bob being an idiot and getting what he deserves will NEVER not be funny to me

"Wait a minute, is this a trick question? 😠" "For you? Yes 🙄" I can't with them—

Also Milan helping Bob out a bit at the end was surprisingly nice. . . And uncommon too

"Swapping Spit": Milan calling Bob "host boy" at the start caught me off guard completely when I first heard it. And yet, somehow, he gets even more wild with the nicknames later on in the other questions lol

"Moron? Hey! >:[" Bob sounds so hurt here 😭 i like to imagine that before that he wasn't catching any insults from Milan at all up until this point. He's clueless like that

"Ugh, Milan! Why do you say things like that?" "To make you blush" Okay that's just straight up flirting—

Also Bob doesn't sound so opposed to that huh. . . Interesting. I wonder when this is going to come up again—

"Things Nobody Wants To Lick": OKAY FUCK I'M SORRY THIS ONE IS JUST INSANE. MILAN JUST CASUALLY RIPS HIS SHIRT AND SAY TO "LICK UNDERNEATH HIS SWEATY ARMPIT"? AND NOT ONLY BOB IS IMPRESSED WITH MILAN'S BODY (as he says himself), HE ALSO ISN'T OPPOSED TO HIS REQUEST IN THE END (even though it wasn't even addressed to him btw)? AND EVEN ADVICES TO SAY "THANK YOU!" AFTER THE PROCESS?? HELLO?? WHY SO 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂? WHY NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT—

Ahem. Anyway, "Bob-friend" is such a great nickname, 10/10, amazing job, Milan.

Bob's "MILAN! WHAT? 😨😳" is literally my favorite thing ever

"Please? Look, begging is not gonna help, my friend" yup, I figured

(I'm not even going to comment on the last few lines lol this is already too much)

"Seven Minutes in the Broom Closet": And just when you think it can't get gayer than the last one. . . This title. What the fuck are they doing in the closet—

Bob mistaking alliteration with liter is just so him

"Haha, you said pee :D" this man literally has a mind/humor of a toddler

And yeah, Milan leaving Bob confused with his words/sayings is. Everything

"I'm Not Your Chew Toy": I'm pretty sure this is the shortest question in this category in terms of dialogue

I love that this one highlights just how patient can Bob be with Milan's rather snappy attitude (which, to be fair, is pretty reasonable for him to have)

"Gift Ideas from the Bathroom": This one. This is my favorite question in the whole game probably. . .

Milan calling Bob "Robert" (which continues running joke of Milan calling Bob different nicknames). Milan sharing his collection with Bob, who seems to be not only interested in it, but also wants to implement it in the question. Bob being a clumsy ass moron and dropping the jar, with Milan following with his (almost) catchphrase "I'm not cleaning that". Milan sharing his culture with Bob and feeding him a homemade soup, with Bob being absolutely joyful and excited to learn new things from his favorite person (while also being taken care of by said person). Milan's little "jerk" at the end, that sounds just a bit too soft to sound like an actual insult, and more like an affectionate pet name. I love this. This is amazing. If this isn't not one of the most wholesome moments in ydkj series, idk what is tbh

"Little Red Outhouse": "Hey Milan, how you doing? Good to see ya 😁" "It's a pleasure for you to see me 😇" "Yeah, i— Uh what? 🤨" This is one of my favorite exchanges between them. Milan has such a way with words sometimes idk. . .

Not much to say about this one, except the fact, that Milan washes Bob's microphone in the toilet bowl, becomes much more disgusting when you know, that in one of the questions Bob smooches his microphone. You're welcome 😇

"It Happens to the Best of Us": Crying Milan is the last thing I expected from this game, but here we are ig. As much as I feel sad for him, I can't deny that his crying voice is incredibly stupid (/pos)

"It was a horribly sad incident which took place today" I like how even when he's distraught he still tries to flex his english skills. What a king

The way Bob instantly goes "yes sir" right after Milan tells him to shut up is just. . . 😭 no comments

"Don't Forget to Wipe": Ah yes, the one where Milan blackmails Bob. Anyway

"Hm, would you like to know" THE WAY HE SOUNDS HERE I— 💥💥

Also the way Milan interrogates Bob here is just so funny to me. He's like an annoyed and slightly disappointed owner that find out his dog made a mess in the living room again. . . Weird comparison, but oh well (I've been writing this commentary for way to long)

"There's a Swosh™ on My Tush": I love this one. Mf just plays basketball in the middle of his work day and that's it. No disgusting twist, just basketball

. . . Well, except the last few seconds, where Bob straight up drools on Milan's shoes. . . Like a dog—

Okay, nah, that's it, that enough of these guys for me today istg

[gildedcageif]

On the last ask;

When Emil shows his anger and frustration to us,am I right to assume he only shows it for close people to him? if that's the case,then it shows that he can be vulnerable and crystal-clear with the MC once they enter his heart. If it isn't though,the entire scene all alone is so cute,him trying to do something perfect, regardless of his Must be perfect kind of state of mind (at least that what I understood when you said that he fears not improving),he still wants to create a prefect art featuring his lover, which I find adorable. I think he's just a little boy showing his love and appreciation of someone by doing the only thing he knows he can perfect (aka drawing).

+While I do not romance women and always play as a straight gurl,I find that Meryem reaction is sooo cute!! she fr be giggling and putting a rose on our MC and that's what I call a true romantic,and I cheer her for that.

I'm not even kidding,here I'm cheering see

You GO Meryem! my fellow hopeless romantic!

++Ahmed reaction is good too.like him grabbing us and all that . he fr got some butterflies flying in me,hehe.the same goes for Selim,such a cute pie seriously but don't tell him I said that,I don't think he will take that well!

+++also on your work on the if,you do it so quickly! like you really got a big chunk of work done on one day( or from my inexperienced eye can tell anyway since I don't understand a thing about twine but my point still stands cause→(30→60)that's impressive! however, please do not put pressure on yourself to get it done quickly.

when it's done,it's done! i will be patient!:))

Emil is definitely an emotionally repressed bean who only expresses himself around people he really loves and trusts. In his route, art is a major love language for him. He expresses himself through his art so he feels like he can only express the magnitude of his love in this way.

And he is 100% a perfectionist. He will create a marble statue of the MC and then literally destroy it because one freckle is 0,00000001 centimetres off.

Meryem is a sweetie. Her route is endless lovey dovey sappiness. She is definitely a hopeless romantic all the way to the bone. And honestly good for her. My girl deserves to be romanced.

Ahmad can be smooth at times. You can say a bunch of stuff about him, but never doubt that he is in for a wooing.

Selim is the most emotionally repressed of them all. That conversation would go kind of like this:

Selim: "I am not a cutie pie. I am a man grown. I am in no way cute and neither am I a pie"

Also Selim: goes to the corner and blushes himself to an early grave.

Thank you for all the support btw! I just don't want to let anyone down. I will try my best to get the best quality possible and as soon as possible. Again thank you for your words! It helps a lot

[1d1195]

Not him inviting his friend over😭 A deep clean is always so satisfying! I hope you'll be able to still recharge a bit plus I support hiding for a bit!Oh that sounds pretty good!! And it just makes sense you would be most excited for the veggies and honestly i'm excited for you lol

I think that it’s very easy for most shows to lose their way so I totally get it! Anyways I also LOVED cake boss as a kid!! Buddy was like a GOD in my eyes HAHA

I would CRY if someone said that to me omg that's so sweet😭But yeah i get how seeing your students struggle can be difficult but I guess it is a good thing that she likes you at least! Like that has to mean something lol Though I can only imagine what goes on in her head so hopefully she can out grow constantly being in drama lol 

NOT BANK OF AMERICA HAHA I honestly don't blame her! I have heard many horror stories from that place so in this case I say that’s so valid lol 

Us together in person would just be TOO powerful(i LOVE that for us) !!! which is why the universe put us on opposite sides of the country lol. I seriously try to edit out “unnecessary” details through my responses but I fear in person my train of thought is not linear when I'm comfortable 😭 People have also lost the meaning of a good filler episode and long seasons! I can argue so much how streaming has changed the way people appreciate shows/movies which is crazy!

Sadly I only get one class with a break :( which is CRAZY considering I'm sure the professors don’t enjoy these long ass classes either?! But I don’t think it’s weird at all! I felt good about this decision ultimately because I receive aid from the state and that only lasts for 4 years so it’s a MUST that I need to be done on time! Plus even though it may not seem like it, compared to how i was even a year ago, i am in a better place so I did take some time to think about it lol And I totally get you!! You’re a perfectionist and if you feel like this is how you’ll be in therapy then it would probably feel more like a burden for you. I used to have a similar fear too when I first started therapy when I was younger so you’re not weird for thinking that at all! But the right therapist for you will never make you feel like that trust me! It’s definitely a process and please NEVER FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO STAY WITH ONE OUT OF OBLIGATION! If you have any doubts even after the first session, trust your gut! It’s annoying of course with insurance and all that but it never hurts to try! Oh bestie do I have a surprise for you my therapist is a MAN 😭he’s the first guy therapist i’ve had and I was honestly never wanting one tbh but at the time I was just SO desperate to start therapy again that I caved lol I too hate men most of the time and I lowkey feel uncomfortable sometimes around them but obviously he doesn’t make me feel like that lol I think that he’s definitely helped me a lot and idk it’s been very helpful in this stage of my life lol Hope that if/when you start therapy that you’ll be able to find someone who understands you and sees you for all that you are, which is a lovely person!

YAY TO ONE MORE WEEK!! YOU GOT THIS!! I do understand your frustration though with kids still managing to fail. Even though I'm sure the majority of teachers try to make it as easy as possible while still trying to teach them as much as they can. It also sucks if they don’t communicate if they might be struggling with the content and/or stuff in their personal life so that just doesn’t help. I know that you try your best and really there can be only so much done with the circumstances! I totally get it!  

AWW OMG OUR ANNIVERSARY TOO?! SAM THAT’S SO SWEET OMG 😭😭😭literally that story gave me the courage to ask for my emoji and I will always be so grateful that you let us read your stories!!

Btw i'm gonna have to talk about most part 3 in a different ask bc this is already too long lol-💜 

Haven't had the veggies yet, but the friend is gone THANK GOD. I didn't like him very much (he wasn't creepy or anything, but just not my cup of tea) I like most of my bf's friends. This one has a habit of rubbing people the wrong way.

I jus thought the crazy cakes were so fun! Buddy was hilarious and I loved the family dynamics 😂 reminded me of home 💀

When she's being annoying I think about how she said that to me. She also will come in and yell at younger students when they're acting stupid in class and put them in their place because she's high key terrifying 😭😭 But naturally I bought her a book this weekend so she would do her summer reading. Trying to get her to connect with her studies and shit. I need her to graduate but I'm worried she's going to be on the 6-year track if she doesn't get her shit together 😂😂

I LOVE THAT FOR US TOO!

Bro, there's no WAY your professors enjoy glazed-over faces for three hours. I give my kids breaks after like TWENTY MINUTES hahahaha My attention span is shot after an hour. Ah, nothing like financial aid to push you into an absolute FRENZY of a timeline ugh. It will totally be worth it--I think, I feel that way about my degrees anyway. I tell people all the time I'm glad I grew up poor I wouldn't have been able to afford college. "The hassle was worth the tassel" and all that.

A MAN?! I'm actually really pleased with this fact. I'm sure he's very capable--especially if you've chosen to stick with him. I knew they were capable of empathy 😂

I appreciate all the tips and thoughts! I've heard that before and I actually saw a character on my show trying out different therapists and my cousin also mentioned it to me. So I'm willing to shop around. But YES, I think you described it perfectly! I would def feel like a burden to please someone else in my life but I know you're right--with the right therapist I won't feel that way.

It just feels like my fault. Like I'm not doing enough. But also I don't know how to make them care. That's my issue during the regular school year too. I feel like the students I have a terrifying, growing apathetic nature toward things. Maybe it's just my age but they don't seem to like sports, movies/TV, or ANYTHING. I know I joke, but I'm not exactly old and I have SUCH a hard time relating to them sometimes. I also feel bad for all my coworkers because I'm CONSTANTLY asking for reassurance because I feel so defeated and whatnot. But anyway. I'm excited for the week to be done and then I'll have a chunk of weeks to myself reading and preparing new lessons and shit before the school year starts. It's far to think in advance and I will def miss the $ but I'm strongly considering taking next summer off. 

You are the sweetest! 💕 I'm so glad to share them. I find it so therapeutic to hide behind my screen and let you all read my inner thoughts 😭

hope you have a good week! I imagine you're rapidly approaching finals for your first two classes 😭 best of luck (not that you'll need it!) 💕

xoxo

[yinyuedijun]

COCO.....I WILL CRY ACTUALLY I WILL CRY OVER ALL UR COMMENTS 😭😭😭 I LITERALLY CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW HAPPY THEY MADE ME AGLDJSKFJAJ thank you so so much for taking the time to type out all your reactions & thoughts, and saying such kind things !!! 🥺🥺🥺

also I'm about to type an entire essay in response, for which I apologize LOL

SO FUNNILY, one of the things I was really worried abt with this fic is that it wasn't very concise because I kept wanting to ramble abt the other characters!! usually I too always forget about characters other than the love interest (LMAO) but I genuinely love all the wbk boys I couldn't help but want to talk about what they're up to in this au... so I'm super glad that you enjoyed all those lil details in the fic, and they didn't feel pointless !! 🥺 (k.u.w.b. made me giggle btw. imagining a reality tv show where umemiya is the kris jenner equivalent)

I genuinely giggled so much when I saw ur reaction to the marriage joke.... now I'm extremely excited for ur reaction if you read part 2 because it'll be coming up again :3ccc

ALSO COCO ITS LIKE WE ARE TELEPATHICALLY CONNECTED BC THATS THE EXACT PANEL I WAS THINKING ABT AS I WROTE THAT SCENE I was actually shocked when I saw those mangacaps in ur post LOL

laughing so so hard @ the colourblindness comments 😭😭😭 my genuine mission with this fic was to get everyone situationally colourblind for this man and I'm glad it worked on you miss coco ♥️♥️♥️ who can resist a man that looks at you as if you were a misbehaving kitten.... truly 😔 (giggled at ur reaction to that line too btw hehehe)

and HELP your comments on the scene with sakura were so fun to read !! I really did want people to genuinely feel like suo is A Danger at this point so I'm super happy that you thought the scene was tense and actually anxiety provoking WAHAHA. also I'm so flattered you thought it felt like a film scene, though I apologize for the whiplash LMDAOFKJS. I've never seen uncut gems but now I feel like I have to watch it!!!!

I literally laughed OUT LOUD at your reaction to the scene where suo pulled u into his lap HAHFLSJS NOT YOUR STUFFED ANIMAL.... rip sorry abt the tragic casualty of this suo fic </3 but also I desperately need to know,

what would you want to say that would get you guillotined? 🎤🎤🎤

but speaking more seriously LOL it means a lot to me that you like their relationship and suo's characterization! I'm sure you've seen me ramble abt this rip but writing him makes me nervous bc we have no info on him 💔 so I'm glad you enjoyed the backstory I hallucinated for him, as well as the yandere angle that I went with for him!!! also I must admit I screamed a lil when you said "perhaps what's best for her is to fuck her silly and hold her tenderly and kiss her like a lover...?" ALGKSFJJS you understand exactly where I'm going with his mindset ♥️ but also I regret to inform you that the sex is actually insane, though I hope you will enjoy it anyway 😭😭😭 ITS FINE HE'LL DO ALL THOSE THINGS OFFSCREEN LATER

I ALSO need to admit I got embarrassed when u called me out on loving suo 😔 I really do love this guy, especially this stinky horrible man version of him I hallucinated HRGKSJS. I'm not used to writing super self-indulgent things so I was a lil embarrassed about posting this tbh!!!! so thank you for being so encouraging n supportive about that aspect of the fic !!

I SHALL FORCE MYSELF TO STOP YAPPING NOW and I'm sorry I wrote so much LOL. I just wish words could convey how much ur comment means to me!!! 🥺🥺🥺 you are so kind and thoughtful and I hope you know how much I appreciate u!!!

TOKYO VICE | part 1

You knew that if you agreed to move in with Suo, you'd be setting yourself up for a life without autonomy. You also knew that these alarming behaviours were all signs that he desperately needed therapy to process his master’s untimely death. Living with a man in constant grief, who refused to talk about his trauma unless he was making up a lie related to the nation of China, was probably not a good decision. Doubly so when this man was clearly paranoid about losing you, and triply so when he was a high-ranking member of a violent syndicate. Unfortunately for you, you rarely made good decisions. (Or: After joining the yakuza, Suo develops the concerning habit of controlling every facet of your life. This is somehow less worrying to you than your uncontrollable lust around him.)

8.7k words. suo x fem reader. deeply unserious yakuza au. yandere suo (not abusive and reader is into it), dark comedy, a little angst, smut. warnings: borderline sex work, off-screen criminal violence. nsft – no actual smut in this chapter, but there are still graphic discussions of sex. mdni. thank you to @sleepyqinfei for beta reading and to @/cafekitsune for the banner!

this is a sequel to sincerity and this sakura/reader wip (not required reading)!

You’re not exactly sure why you and Suo have never fucked.

It’s certainly strange, given that you're pretty sure that Suo has expressed at least passing interest in you over the years, and you have felt a lot of interest in him. (By ‘interest’, you mean that you feel an insatiable lust around him that you fight to ignore on a daily basis.) You can't exactly pinpoint why nothing has ever happened despite this mutual attraction, especially given your profession and indifferent feelings toward casual sex.

You can think of a number of probable reasons, which are separate from those you classify as stupid reasons. The latter class comprises silly concerns like a fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of not being pretty enough, fear of not being good enough, et cetera. All very juvenile feelings—insecurities that you had in your teenage years, the days in which Suo ran around Makochi as a delinquent while you worked an honest job at a bar. (It was a girls’ bar in the red light district, but that's neither here nor there.) Your circumstances have since changed, and those anxieties have since faded. None of them have any material consequence for your current life, so you don't see any point in thinking about them.

The stupid reasons, then, definitely don't have anything to do with why you've never fucked Suo. But you can think of a few, more concrete reasons that may explain it. For one, Suo has been your friend since childhood and it’s generally a bad idea to have sex with your long-time friends. He was also your roommate for a while and it’s an even messier idea to have sex with your roommates. And now, in your adulthood, he’s your landlord in addition to being your boss, which makes him the worst possible person you could have sex with. You could lose both your home and your livelihood if things go south—both severe, material consequences that should theoretically keep your lust at bay.

Also, he's also a member of the yakuza.

Now, strictly speaking—you're not really opposed to having sex with violent criminals. It’s definitely not a good idea, but you don't usually have good ideas anyway. But for the past several years, you’ve been pissed at Suo for joining the yakuza in the first place, which actually does keep your blatant attraction to him in check. You simply dry up when you think too hard about all the feelings of betrayal.

When Suo was on the cusp of graduating from Furin and thinking about his future, you’d grabbed him by the collar and made him promise not to join the yakuza. They constantly tried to recruit from Bofurin, and they especially wanted Sakura, Suo, and Sugishita. You were adamant about chasing them off from Suo and Sakura whenever they approached—you had no need to worry about Sugishita, as Umemiya had already said he shouldn't talk to them, so there was no chance he was going to—and you begged Suo over and over not to join. Delinquency was fine, but a crime syndicate was something else altogether.

Suo seemed serious about it when he said he'd listen to you. He even applied to colleges, talked about maybe becoming a teacher and eventually supporting you so you could stop working in the mizu shobai industry. Back then, he often teased you by saying that you should marry him and be his housewife (or he could be your trophy husband, if you so wished). You thought he was joking, but with the way he always talked about his life after his degree, you wondered if he would seriously suggest it.

Of course, it was most likely just teasing, and you were fine with that. You were simply excited that he'd found a career that would make him happy. Nirei had also been accepted to university at that point, and even Sakura had an honest job lined up on Keisei Street. The future had looked bright for everyone.

Then Suo’s master died, and he lost his fucking mind.

The two of you buried Suo’s master in a Chinese funeral. He had never had children of his own, having satisfied his paternal instincts by picking up strays, and he didn't have much in the way of family in Japan either, so you and Suo performed the shou ling yourselves. One person kept a constant vigil over his body while the other searched on Google for what arrangements should be made next. After all, while Suo’s master had immersed his foremost disciple in his culture, he had never taught Suo any funerary customs. He hadn't thought there would be a need.

Suo didn't cry nearly as much as you, but he was probably in more pain. Your master had trained you a little bit when you were a kid, and he'd taken you in for a while after your parents kicked you out, so of course you were gutted. But he had practically raised Suo, so it was naturally worse for him. More shattering.

You often think about the first night you decided you'd sleep with him in the same futon because he was crying so much. He insisted he was fine, but he didn't complain when you got under the sheets with him and started thumbing away his tears. When you took off his eyepatch, you found, to your astonishment, that he was crying from his missing eye as well. Both of you thought the tear ducts had been destroyed in either the accident or the enucleation, but it appeared that not even that prior trauma could mask his grief over this one.

Nevertheless, by the time of the funeral procession, Suo had stopped crying.

“Master supported us and taught us to stand on our own two feet,” he said as the joss paper burned. He took your hand in his and smiled. “So it'll be fine. We’ll be okay on our own. I'll make sure of it.”

At the time, you had found this very comforting. You didn’t think too much of it, as you had a bad habit of relying on Suo for your emotional stability. His master had raised him to be an emotionally intelligent person, so it had been fine, even though you had a track record of reckless decisions. He’d still exercised endless patience with you. He never once got angry with you, nor did he ever force you to do what he felt was the right thing. Instead, he gently redirected your self-damaging behaviours—not so different from the martial art that he practised.

He disapproved of the run-down and lonely conditions of your apartment, so he spent a great deal of time there and helped make it into a proper home. He didn't like how dangerous your job at the girls’ bar was, so he walked you to and from work every night until you never left without him. He worried when you started having sex with your customers, especially when you began having nervous breakdowns over it (you were, after all, still a teenager and really only interested in having romantic vanilla sex with Suo), so he staged an intervention with Nirei and Sakura. In this way, Suo convinced you that you were loved and protected and didn't need to do something you hated so much. They would get you out if you felt trapped. And you didn't feel trapped, per se, so you left on your own—but it was still only because of them. You promised them afterwards that you'd never do it again.

This was Suo’s brand of kindness as a teenager. He always taught people, guided them away from harm rather than steering them—a behaviour he’d mimicked from your master. Your master, in general, had defined all of Suo’s values and his way of living, which was honest and gentle and conscientious. It was one where he used his abilities to protect the weak and care for his friends. He even kept his spiteful and alarmingly violent tendencies under control, though sometimes he slipped when fighting genuine assholes. But he still tried. He tried because he strived to be as kind as his master—who represented everything that Suo wanted to be in his adult life.

Thus, the death of Suo’s master meant the death of his principles. It changed the kind of man that Suo wanted to be. You don't want to say that he became a worse person, but he absolutely became a worse person.

He especially became a worse person with you.

As it turned out, Suo’s idea of making sure that the two of you would be fine on your own was, well, not really fine. It wasn’t that he became cruel to you, per se. It was more that whenever he saw a problem with your behaviour, his approaches to redirecting it became—put as nicely as possible—heavy-handed.

After your master’s death, you got a job at a high end, yakuza-owned club. Two weeks later, Suo broke his promise to you and joined the yakuza. So I can stay close to you, he explained gently, wiping away your tears as you cried hysterically, but you're convinced to this day that he did it partly out of spite. So a few years later, when you started having sex with your customers again and he tried to stop you, you decided to spite him back. I need to stay on top of the rankings, you'd explained dispassionately. The mamasan said it's fine, and the manager doesn't care. He even thinks it's good for business.

Suo’s response was to simply become the owner of your club.

This move was very extreme, but also very effective. Any customer who so much as brushed against you on the premises was instantly thrown out, and the mamasan started watching you like a hawk to make sure you weren’t going to any love hotels after work. Douhan were off-limits. For the first time since your teens, you became completely celibate—not only because of your new workplace circumstances, but because you simply didn't want to find out what Suo would do if you got together with a man he despised (and he despised every man you dated).

His most absurd play was when he became concerned about your living conditions again. Your latest apartment was too plain, too small, and the area was too dangerous. It didn't even have a shower, and the other tenants behaved concerningly toward you when you went to the bathhouse at night. But the rent was cheap, and it was still an upgrade from your last place, so you shrugged it off when Suo suggested that you move. Even when someone tried to accost you at night, you were nonchalant about it. You kicked the shit out of them in a fight and continued your routine unbothered.

The next month, Suo bought a luxury penthouse and suggested you move in with him.

His offer (command) came with conditions. One of the bigger ones was that you'd let him accompany you out at night if you ever needed to run errands in dangerous places. Or—nevermind, actually. He should really just accompany you everywhere at night. Maybe during the day too. And—ah, there was no way you'd be going to work alone, nor coming back by yourself—you were now always to be driven by someone in his organisation, if he wasn't available himself. Rent was a point of contention, when you asked about it: you wanted to pay at market rate, and he insisted that there was no need to pay at all. He ended up proposing a highly discounted price, which would give you ample financial freedom, but questionable financial independence.

These were insane terms. You knew that if you agreed, you'd be setting yourself up for a life without autonomy. You also knew that these behaviours were all signs that Suo desperately needed therapy to process his master’s untimely death. Living with a man in constant grief, who refused to talk about his trauma unless he was making up a lie related to the nation of China, was probably not a good idea. Doubly so when this man was clearly paranoid about losing you, and triply so when he was a high-ranking member of a violent syndicate. Case in point—he was likely connected to the brutal accident that later befell the man who tried to assault you.

“I'm not sure what you're implying, but at least he didn't die,” Suo said cheerfully when you confronted him about it. Which really meant: At least I decided not to kill him. This was a flag bigger and redder than any other you've ever known, and you consider yourself an expert in red flags. You knew you should run in the other direction.

So naturally, you put your arms around him, tenderly said, I'm sorry I've been worrying you, and then you moved in the next day.

While Suo treats you with endless patience, you have personal limits to the patience that you exercise with him. Specifically, your patience with how he treats you.

You don't mind the lack of social freedom, nor the lack of personal freedom, nor the lack of freedom of movement. You also don't mind living with a man full of intractable trauma surrounding the death of every parental figure in his life; in fact, you'd rather be by his side than not, if he needs to cope with something so painful. And anyway, your friendship is otherwise unchanged if you ignore the heavy restrictions he's imposed on every facet of your life. So that's all fine.

But the celibate lifestyle that he's cornered you into? You simply aren't built for it. Holy shit, do you need to get laid.

Nearly two years without sex has brought you close to another nervous breakdown (there have been few better sources of entertainment or validation in your life), and worst of all, it has made your profound lust for Suo incredibly hard to ignore. Waking up every morning to him in a towel, his hair still wet from the shower and his broad silhouette exposed, tests the absolute limits of your self-control. The contours of his lean and muscled form are distracting enough; coupled with the vivid colours and lines of his irezumi, the sight of him becomes maddening. It is a horrible thing to be exposed to when you haven't gotten any dick nor strap in over a year. It gives you thoughts about him that are overtly sexual, which is bad, as you have materially consequential reasons for not wanting to fuck Suo.

Things with him must absolutely stay platonic. But with sexual frustration like yours, being platonic with him means that you need to get erotic with someone else. A boyfriend or girlfriend is out of the question; you don't want to be responsible for yet another brutal accident. So you instead decide to quit your job at his club and start working on Keisei Street. At least this way, you can start fucking your customers again.

It’s a perfect plan. Suo’s oyabun is very indulgent toward him, and everyone else in the family respects him too. He consequently has a tight grip on his organisation and the territory they control, despite his relatively young age. Not a single person is ever to touch Keisei Street—largely because Sakura is part of Roppo-Ichiza, and Suo is nearly as weird about Sakura as he is about you. Plus, many of his other fellow Furin alumni are in the gang as well. If Suo’s men ever started fucking with people on Keisei Street, it would not only have grave implications for gang relations—it would be personally upsetting for Suo. This means you can fuck all the Keisei Street customers you want, and not get a single one of them threatened or killed.

A pretty brilliant idea, if you do say so yourself.

Suo’s expression doesn't change when you break the news to him. He delicately places his teacup—custom-made from Yixing, just like the matching clay teapot—down on the mahogany tabletop, and he looks at you with a calm smile.

“Come again?”

“I'm quitting my job at Red Dragon,” you repeat. “I already gave the mamasan my resignation.”

“And she accepted it?” Suo asks, in a tone that is so carefully nonchalant that you know it means he is actually furious with her. “How interesting,” he muses. “What brought this on?”

“I've found a better paying opportunity on Keisei Street.”

“I'll give you a raise,” he says easily.

“A raise?” You cock a brow. “The pay is mostly commission-based at Red Dragon. You know that.”

“Then it would be unwise to leave. You have a loyal customer base at Red Dragon. All very rich, and”—his smile grows sharp—“very polite.”

Polite. An interesting word. It actually means: None of them will ever proposition or harass you because they know they'll be maimed if they do. An easy thought to use to your advantage.

“It's loyal but it's small. Everyone who's anyone in this part of town thinks that we’re married. Do you know how hard it is to pull new customers in when they're scared shitless of my yakuza husband? And anyway”—you frown, trying to look as pathetic as possible—“I'm lonely.”

Suo stares. He looks surprised, possibly because you absorb every minute of his free time with silly conversation, new restaurants, and skiing trips. (He likes snow, so you ask for these trips more for him to relax than anything else.) You also text him frequently on days he's working, and he very diligently replies, even if he's in the middle of something like a raid or a hit or brokering a massive deal. Suo still very strictly keeps to his rule of never touching his phone when in conversation with other people—unless he needs to text you.

So his suspicion is fair. Suo is very attentive and doesn't allow you much opportunity for loneliness. In turn, you’ve always been very happy spending time with him, even when it's only him.

“Lonely?” he repeats. “Are you, now?”

“Yes. You work so much,” you complain, which is not a lie, “and I don't have any friends to spend time with when you're gone.”

“You have friends from work.”

“No, I have competition at work. The hostesses are so cutthroat about rankings, they hate me. And each other.”

“You like Shuuhei and Hanzo,” he points out, referring to his men who most frequently chauffeur you.

“Yeah, they're friendly, and they're very funny. I like them, but I can't be their friend.” Suo stares at you, nonplussed, so you spell it out: “They're too scared of you to get close to me. What if it looks like they're trying to fuck the boss’ wife?”

“Hm…” Suo studies you, looking thoughtful. Perhaps for the first time, he's contemplating the consequences of restricting your freedoms and marking you as his. That is to say—maybe he's finally realising that you have no friends and no life.

The beads of his earrings glimmer as he tilts his head at you and frowns. Suo almost looks innocent with that confused face of his. “And how would working on Keisei Street help?” he asks.

“Because all our old friends are there!” you exclaim. “Sakura’s in Roppo-Ichiza now so he’ll definitely be coming by all the clubs. Tsubaki too. And Nirei and Kiryu visit them quite often—and even Tsugeura does sometimes, even though clubbing isn't one of his virtues.” You grab onto his arm, pull yourself close, and give him your most disarming, pleading expression. “Please, Suo?”

“Hm.” He strokes your cheek and looks at you fondly, in the way that one would do with an adorable and slightly annoying kitten. “I don’t think so. It’s not very safe there.”

He isn't wrong. Not only are you untouchable on his turf because of your association to him, Suo has also just crushed all the han-gure and petty criminals in his territory with brutal efficiency. His part of the red light district is, quite ironically, one of the safest places in the city, and certainly safer than Keisei Street.

But undeterred, you point out, “Shuuhei and Hanzo can still drive me there and back if you want. But I don't think it's necessary. Do you really think Sakura would let anything happen to me?”

This is the true brilliance of your plan: capitalising on the fact that Suo is as nearly as weird about Sakura as he is about you. He pauses as soon as you bring up the point, and you can practically see the gears turning. “Well, if it's him…”

“I even texted him about it. Look—here!” You whip out your phone, receipts ready. The corner of Suo's mouth lifts at your obviously rehearsed pitch. “He says he'd make sure I'm taken care of. And he says it'd be nice because he misses seeing us. Can you believe it—Sakura actually admitted that he misses us! Typed it with his own two hands and pressed send! I bet he was super embarrassed about it.”

“Huh. He even used a sticker. I've never seen him do that.” Suo smiles as he reads through the chat. He looks like his old self. You suddenly feel a little wistful, and also a lot bad. This started as a ploy to get laid, but it’s made you realise that you really do miss your friends—and Suo probably does too.

“If I worked on Keisei Street, then you would have plenty of reason to visit,” you point out, feeling somewhat tender.

“I guess that's true,” Suo says. Your heart aches a little bit at the look he gives you. It's a platonic ache, of course. Or at the very least, it isn't an erotic one. It doesn't really make you want to have sex with him anyway. But if you could lean forward and press your lips to his—platonically—then you definitely would.

Suo's civilian friendships are complicated by his double life. Quite unusually for yakuza, Suo’s syndicate insists on using pseudonyms and false histories to avoid anti-yakuza laws, on the off-chance that the police decide to do their jobs and actually enforce those laws someday. Lying for comedy is one of Suo’s greatest passions, so he was happy to manufacture an absurd backstory: his name is Yanzhao, and he learned kung fu in a Shaolin Temple before moving to Hong Kong and working for the triads. He wears the eyepatch because he lost his eye in an altercation with the cops, which he won. By the way, you're his criminally beautiful wife who he met in Macau. The two of you had to leave for Japan since he killed a police officer and now he's wanted by the governments of both China and Hong Kong. Also, he's a very devoted husband, so if anyone lays a hand on you, he’ll kill them too.

Somehow, everyone has bought into this story. Every criminal organisation in the red light district now fears a high-ranking yakuza known as Yanzhao, who is easily recognizable by his eyepatch and tassel earrings, and who is also homicidally obsessed with his beautiful wife.

In some ways, his infamy is convenient. No one wants to fuck with Suo, or with you by extension. But it also poses some issues: Suo has to keep a low profile in areas controlled by rival organisations, or else he might be ambushed. It also means he cannot easily go out and see his old friends. Even though he always masquerades as a civvie when he does, wearing stud earrings and a glass eye, it's still a little risky—especially since he likes to visit the strongest member of Roppo-Ichiza. While Roppo-Ichiza aren’t yakuza, they're still han-gure, so some of its more criminally entangled members might recognize him anyway.

But Sakura himself, bless him, has not put two and two together and figured out that Suo Hayato and Gui Yanzhao are the same person. This is partly because Suo lies very convincingly about his fictional career in the tea industry, but you think it's also because Sakura is so gullible it's endearing.

I use the glass eye now because it's better for networking, Suo had explained before Sakura could interrogate him too much, his voice too smooth and too quick for the other man to get in a word edgewise. My business partners find the eyepatch too silly. The tassel earrings too. By the way, would you like some Baimudan tea? I thought of you when I smelled it—I know you like fragrant things—so I picked some up for you on my last visit to China. I was there for business a couple of weeks ago.

He, of course, neglected to mention that said business involved meeting with the 14K triad.

Despite the enormity of Suo's omission (lie), Sakura is none the wiser whenever he meets with you. He thinks you're just a regular hostess who has freedom of movement and various other human rights, and that Suo’s just a regular guy who isn’t homicidally obsessed with you (a detail of Suo's fabricated life story that is unfortunately grounded in reality). All this to say, Sakura doesn't think twice about mentioning the fact that you have a routine of going to love hotels after work.

Suo, as always, remains calm in the face of unsettling information. He sets down his tea (just tea, without shochu), and politely says, “Pardon?” He's once again using the nonchalant kind of tone that suggests mortal danger.

“She's always going to love hotels after her shifts.” Sakura is frowning at you, pink but scowling. “I thought you said you were done with that stuff. You promised us you wouldn't do it anymore. Suo—are you really okay with this?”

On the one hand, you find it exceptionally sweet that Sakura, after all this time, remembers your promise and wishes to hold you to it. He was so worried about you when you started having those nervous breakdowns as a teenager, and he probably still is. On the other hand, you're shitting bricks at the fact that Suo is now aware of your activities. Because sure, he likely won't fuck with Keisei Street—but you realise, as he stares at you, that you can't be certain of this. After all, your fake yakuza husband has very real homicidal urges.

“Um,” you say. “It's just business.”

“Business,” Suo repeats.

“You don't have to do that stuff to keep good business,” Sakura grouses, unaware of Suo’s carefully suppressed rage. “You're real popular already.”

“Are you?” Suo asks, looking right at you.

“I mean—I told you the pay would be better, right?” you reply, voice oddly high and nervous, and this is when Sakura notices that something is wrong.

“Oh,” Sakura says, looking between the two of you. “Suo, you didn't know?”

“I didn't,” he says. “Actually, she told me specifically that she wasn't going to do that if she worked here.” He turns to you, still smiling. “That's the only reason why I allowed this at all, remember?”

A chill travels down your spine. You did, in fact, commit to a perpetually sexless lifestyle in order to be granted some semblance of freedom: Of course I won't sleep with any customers, you'd said. You know I don't really like doing that anyway. I promise I'll behave! I’ll be out of the clubs and right back home. Sakura said he’d make sure I’ll get to a cab safely after the bar closes and everything!

“Um,” you say again, but this time you have no follow-up.

“Wait,” Sakura demands, “what do you mean by ‘allowed her’? What, do you need to give her permission to work now or something?”

Suo smiles disarmingly at Sakura. Without missing a beat, he says, “Generally no. But we’re dating now, which complicates what she’s allowed to do with other men at her job.”

Sakura spits out his drink. You choke on your spit.

“I… um?!” Sakura’s staring at you, so you quickly recover. This is a mortifying lie, but it's better than Sakura finding out just how batshit Suo has become since his school days. “I thought we were going to keep that a secret, dear?”

“Ah, you're right. Sorry, I got too excited.” Suo gives you an endeared look before turning to Sakura. “We were going to keep it to ourselves unless we got serious about it. But we've been talking about marriage lately, so I thought it was fine to mention.”

“...”

You’re going to have an aneurysm. Why does every cover that Suo comes up with involve a marital relationship between the two of you?!

“Oh… holy shit.” Sakura’s expression is complicated—somehow, more complicated than yours, even though you’re the one getting cornered into a fake engagement. It's unbelievable how shy he still is about this kind of thing. Maybe it’s just particularly embarrassing since he's known you two for so long, you reason. Regardless, he remembers his social cues enough to say, “Congrats, guys. That's great. That's really great.”

Suo gazes fondly at you across the table. “We were thinking you could be our best man,” he adds, and you consider violently kicking his leg.

“O-oh. Uh, yeah! Sure! But what about Nirei?”

“Rather than having a maid of honour,” you say reflexively, used to lying through your teeth for Suo, “we’d like him to be our best man as well.”

“Oh. That makes sense.” Thrown off guard, Sakura completely forgets about the love hotel business. He whips out his phone. “When were you thinking of having your wedding? I'll put it in my calendar.”

“I’m not sure.” Suo turns to you. “What were we thinking again, dear?”

You're going to die. You're going to die and it's a good thing because if you survive this embarrassment, your future will be bleak. As soon as Nirei finds out about this, he’ll want to start helping you with wedding planning, and then it would just be too awkward to cancel things. You’ll have to enter a fake marriage with Suo, which will be completely sexless, because even with a vow of everlasting love, there are still too many concrete and materially consequential reasons for not sleeping with him.

Condemning yourself to a lifetime of sexual frustration, you reply, “I think we were talking about a summer wedding.”

The drive home is awkward.

Hanzo and Shuuhei pick the two of you up. Suo mentioned that he wanted to talk to you and you alone, so they bring the Rolls Royce with the privacy suite. The two of them are entirely cut off from you thanks to the soundproofing, which traps you with Suo, who’s drinking a bottle of oolong tea as the two of you sit in complete silence. You think he's waiting for you to squirm—which you do.

You stay like that for five, agonising minutes before Suo finally says, “So you're sleeping with your customers.”

You swallow. “Yes.”

“For business?”

“Yes.”

“How much do you make?”

You blink. “Huh?”

“How much do you get paid for a single night of work, including gifts that your customers give you in exchange for sleeping with them?”

You're halfway through citing your earnings when you realise where he's going with this.

“So you make less than you did at Red Dragon,” Suo concludes, “and you're very smart with your money, so I know you know that, and you probably went into this knowing that you'd end up at a net loss.” He turns to you, gives you a look so sharp that it almost scares you. All made worse by his civilian disguise, which makes him feel unfamiliar. His glass eye shines strangely in the light, and his scar tissue is hidden by the makeup you helped apply. You wish he'd taken it all off before having this conversation.

“So,” he says, “what’s the real reason you changed jobs?”

Already knowing that he’ll figure you out sooner or later, you admit, “I just wanted to start having sex again.”

Suo blinks. “You… what?”

“I wanted to have sex with people,” you repeat. “I hadn't been touched for nearly two years, okay? I needed to get laid or else I'd go insane.” You cross your arms and look away, suddenly feeling petulant. “I'm sure you've noticed that our arrangement makes it impossible for me to see people.”

He doesn't answer, because of course he's noticed. He’d designed his house rules with precisely this intent. If he accompanies you everywhere you go, then you can't exactly go on dates, and you definitely can't meet people for sex. Not unless you feel like having Suo watch as some anonymous guy fucks you, and you don't. As hot as the idea is, it’s definitely not platonic behaviour, and it would probably trigger the whole homicidal obsession thing.

“Do you like it?” Suo asks, startling you. You look at him, confused.

“What?”

“Do you enjoy having sex with your customers?” he asks. His voice and gaze are even. Unrelenting. “Does it make you happy?”

You stare at him, a deer caught in headlights. You didn't expect Suo to actually care about whether you enjoyed it or not, and you didn't really expect to care yourself either. But truthfully, you hated it. You simply weren't feeling it with most of your customers and avoided intercourse with all but one. Then in that one case you let someone earnestly fuck you, it was a complete letdown. Possibly the worst sex you'd ever had. You spent the whole time watching the clock, wondering how long it would take, and it turned out that your hookup had remarkable stamina but absolutely no technique. To pass the time, and in an attempt to feel something, you tried to imagine it was someone else who was inside you. You cycled through a whole list of people, including all of your exes, a few of your past customers, every single member of BTS, and then—finally, inevitably—your long-time friend, roommate, and landlord.

To your complete horror, when you imagined that it was Suo who had you folded in half, his cock so deep inside you that you could feel it in your throat, you came so hard that you drenched the sheets.

You lay there afterward as your customer showered, alone in the bed. Normally you'd be getting dressed at that point, but you were too distracted. You kept thinking about what it would feel like to be held by Suo after having your guts rearranged by him—embraced tenderly like you know he would do with you, kissing him platonically like you've always wanted to do with him—and you realised that you didn’t actually want to have sex with anyone else. Despite all your life experience, sexual experience, and job experience—in that moment, you felt like a lonely nineteen year old girl who wanted nothing more than to have romantic, vanilla sex with her best friend, but who was instead having impersonal, disappointing sex with various salarymen.

This was a feeling so disgusting that you’ve decided to never tell anyone at any cost.

“Yeah, it's fine. I guess I like it.” You pretend to study your nails. “Sometimes I cum, which is all I really want.”

Suo keeps staring at you. “That’s it?” he asks, voice measured and careful. You raise a brow, playing dumb.

“What do you mean?”

“That's all you want? Just to get off?”

You gaze out the window, trying not to look at his lips.

“Yes, that's all.”

No matter how batshit Suo gets, he always maintains a certain kindness and maturity in how he handles conflict with you. It's a lesson that he learned from his master, which has perhaps been distorted over time, but remains important to him nevertheless.

If you do something upsetting, Suo is never forceful about getting you to act differently. Sure, he has fucked up ways of either getting you to behave or making you understand the consequences of your actions, and perhaps he has his manipulative moments. It was probably not a good thing that he coaxed you into indefinite house arrest, for instance. But he never threatens you, and he never hits you, and he never disrespects you. In fact, more than anything, he makes it a point to never let you feel like you aren't loved.

So when Suo abandons you after that conversation in the Rolls Royce, you lose your fucking mind.

Suo doesn’t come home in the days following that evening, without any note nor explanation. For the first time in years, he stops replying to your texts. Your immediate thought is that he's been gravely injured or perhaps even killed, which sends you into a panicked spiral. But every one of his men who's come by to check on you has implied otherwise—but I'm not allowed to tell you anything else, anesan, I’m sorry, they all say. And when you realise that Suo is actually fine and he's just playing a fucked up mind game with you, one that makes you feel distinctly unloved, you feel simultaneously heartbroken and apoplectic. The man is not allowed to corner you into de facto imprisonment and then just fucking leave. In fact, if he tries, you might imprison him.

You spend a few days sitting at home and crying over this, as well as torturing yourself by thinking about useless things (fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, et cetera). But eventually, you get tired of wallowing in self-inflicted misery, and you decide to just track your fake husband down. His men have been adamant about not letting you out of their sight—presumably so you don’t fuck any more of your customers, because Suo can be spiteful like that—so you have to be strategic about your plan to find him.

You decide to do it during work. You tap out in the middle of a shift, feigning illness, so nobody bats an eye when you put on the most shapeless hoodie you own and throw on a face mask. Your chauffeurs (handlers) don't notice as you sneak off—and for the first time in years, you walk through the red light district all alone.

It feels strange not to be protected, and even stranger not to be surveilled. You marvel at the unfamiliar experience of complete freedom, and at the possibility of being able to run off and disappear if you so wished. But you don't, of course. Not only do you care too deeply for Suo to abandon him, you're also pretty sure he has your driver’s licence and ID card locked up somewhere. At least you haven't been able to find them, and Suo was oddly evasive about it when you asked. (I haven't seen them, he'd said, but I don't think you’d need either of those things immediately, anyway, do you? And you nodded in response, because it was true that you liked being his passenger princess too much to care about your licence.)

So rather than bolting for the subway, you head straight to your old workplace. The gleaming doors of Red Dragon welcome you as you cross its threshold, and you're greeted immediately by the scent of luxury colognes and expensive cigars—both evoking a strange nostalgia in you. Even the click of your heels against the marble floor feels familiar. You realise that you've missed the place despite its cutthroat culture and its owner’s authoritarian control over you, which you suppose isn't surprising. This club was more or less your home for years and, thanks to said owner, was the safest place you've ever worked.

And being that you feel you've returned to your very safe home, you don't expect it when you're abruptly stopped by the bouncer.

“Can I help you?” he asks, his arm in your way. You don't recognize him, but you see the edges of his irezumi peeking out from the rolled-up cuffs of his shirt.

“Yeah, actually,” you say. “I'm looking for Gui Yanzhao. Is he here right now?”

The bouncer—or chinpira, you guess—bristles.

“You're looking for who?”

“Yanzhao?” you say impatiently. “Eyepatch, tassel earrings? Owner of the club? Probably your boss?”

The bouncer steps forward and reaches for something in his pocket, which makes you suddenly nervous, and also makes you realise that in a hoodie and a face mask, you ordinarily wouldn't be allowed in this club, let alone into the room of its yakuza owner. You're so used to VIP treatment here that you simply forgot.

You take a step back. “Um. I think there's been a misunderstanding.” You lower your face mask, which doesn't help as you've never met this man, and he must be new. You’ll need to complain to Suo about his onboarding process later, if you aren't killed before you can find him.

It turns out that this yakuza rookie has a knife in his pocket, which is not the worst thing he could have been carrying, but is also not the best. You're getting ready to run in the other direction when a more senior member of the gang comes by. He gives you a startled look, which then turns alarmed when he sees his younger brother’s knife.

“Anesan!” he yells hurriedly, and he snatches the chinpira’s knife straight from his hand. His lunge for the weapon turns into a hurried bow. He pulls his colleague—whose face has turned very white in a very short amount of time—into an even deeper one. They look on the verge of prostrating.

“Oh, Yamashita. Hi! Is this guy new?”

“Yes! My sincerest apologies for my younger brother’s idiocy, and his insolence in raising a weapon at you.” There's a sheen of sweat on the back of his neck. “If you would like him to atone, then he would be more than happy to—”

“No, that's fine. I'd really like him to keep all his fingers.” If you have to see a rookie cut off his pinkie today, you think you might actually change your mind on running away. Fuck your documents—Suo can keep them. Surely life without proof of identity can't be that hard. “By the way,” you say, trying to change the topic before Yamashita can suggest alternative acts of atonement, “have you seen my husband?”

Yamashita hesitates at your question, looks conflicted. You feel a little bad for him, and for every other gang member who needs to worry about accidentally offending Suo. You watch him sweat for a full ten seconds before he says, “You can follow me. But anesan, you might find it unpleasant upstairs. I can find someone to drive you home instead, if you'd like.”

You give him a funny look. This was your workplace for a very long time—you can’t think of many things that would happen here that might seriously upset you. “What, is he cheating on me?” you guess.

“What? No! Aniki would never!” Yamashita seems genuinely shocked at the suggestion. “He's crazy about you!”

“Then I'm sure he’ll be happy to see me,” you say, although given that he's ignored your texts for four days straight, you aren't so sure. Regardless, this seems to be good enough reasoning for Yamashita, and you’re taken to the top floor of Red Dragon. You ponder the whole time, on the elevator ride up, just what exactly Suo’s been up to that's made Yamashita this nervous about letting you see him.

Then the door opens, and you’re given your answer in the form of several body bags—all cleanly zipped up and conscientiously laid out in front of the elevators in a single, neat row. A sight that is significantly worse than a rookie cutting off his pinkie finger.

“Oh,” you say faintly. You try not to throw up. “So this is why he hasn't been home.”

“Exactly!” Yamashita replies, beaming. “See, anesan, I told you. He'd never cheat on you!”

Suo is in the lounge of the top floor, which has been cleared of both civilians and corpses for the night. He's sitting on one of the couches, leaning back with his one eye closed, as if asleep. The golden tassels of his earrings are draped over the expensive leather of his seat, intertwined with his dark hair. A cup of tea sits in front of him, steaming. Even this far away, you recognize it by the scent alone: jasmine, probably from Longjing. One of the most expensive blends he has, and that which he saves for days he’s stressed, though he never admits it when he is.

The sight of him would almost look tranquil, except for all the blood on his knuckles and his cuffs.

Off to the side, two of his younger brothers are chatting away. One is pouring cups of some doubtlessly expensive liquor, and the other is smoking a cigar. There's karaage on the table too. You recognize all of this as part of a ritual that some of the guys like to do after a hit or a shootout, not dissimilar to getting ramen or McDonald’s after going to a club.

You catch a bit of their conversation as you approach. One of them holds up the liquor bottle (Isojiman sake, you now recognise from your girls’ bar days, one of the rarer bottles costing around nine million yen) and asks Suo if he wants to join. “No thanks,” he says predictably, “I'm on a diet.” Then he turns and looks right at you—startling you, because you had thought you were being fairly quiet—and gives you a smile so genuine that it reminds you of his Furin days. “Would my beautiful wife like to drink for me, though?”

“No thanks,” you reply, “but your beautiful wife would like to talk to you.”

The two guys clear out to give you some privacy. You’re left alone with Suo, feeling awkward after several days of resenting him for no reason. (You’d rather die than go to therapy, but the whole fear of abandonment thing is probably something you should start addressing.) You don't even know where you want to sit. Eventually, you settle for placing yourself next to him, which is a decision that Suo quickly overturns by pulling you into his lap.

A flutter erupts in your stomach as he settles you on top of him. This physiological reaction is absurd, as not even ten minutes ago, you were trying not to throw up at the line of corpses in front of the elevator. It should also scare you somewhat that Suo’s hands—delicately adjusting your body—are still covered in blood. But truthfully, you can't help but be happy when he makes you feel so loved.

You take one of the napkins on the table and start wiping at his knuckles. Tenderly, in case they're bruised or skinned.

“You didn't call or come home,” you start.

“I thought it would be too dangerous.”

You frown, thinking of all the bodies outside. “Was this a rival organisation?”

“No. They were ours.” He sighs. “A succession conflict. There are a few people who don't like how I'll run things if I take over.”

You nod. Suo is very old-fashioned in his ideals about the yakuza, which you think is an imprint of his master’s influence, and something that appeals to his current ‘father’. He values chivalry. He likes protecting the weak. His filial devotion to his deceased master has now extended to every member of his yakuza family, especially his oyassan. He’s almost certainly the top candidate for taking over after the oyabun dies, but being that part of his old-fashioned principles excludes lucrative projects such as sex trafficking, you suppose it’s natural that some people in his organisation would prefer him dead rather than in charge.

“You’ve never ghosted me during violent conflicts before though,” you say. “I was worried that something happened to you. Or that you were upset with me.”

Suo’s hand drops to your waist, pulling you a little closer.

“They knew where we live. They tried to get to you, you know.” Your eyes widen in alarm, so he cups your face with a palm. His thumb glides along your cheek, and your response is almost Pavlovian: your heart rate immediately slows at the comfort of his touch. “It’s fine. They won't bother you ever again.” The cheerful smile returns. “And if anyone else ever does, I'll handle them too.”

Your heart swells. Enthusiastic pledges of murder are not a healthy sign of affection, but after so much loneliness—whether from the past several days, or the years before that, you aren't sure—you can't find it in yourself to be disturbed. You feel and sound painfully fond when you reply, “I know.”

Suo’s expression dims a little then. “I thought you'd like the space anyway.”

“What?” You give him a confused look. You have never once given him any indication that you want even an inch of space from him. You'd crawl into his ribcage if you could. “Why would you think that?”

“I thought you felt suffocated. You left my club just so you could have sex with other people.” You blink, lingering on his wording. Other people. He continues before you can ask about it, sighing, “You didn't even ask me who I'd give permission to touch you. You just went ahead and decided on your own.”

“...”

You try not to look disturbed. Suo’s apparent wish to control your sexual decisions is news to you, and somehow more alarming than the murder pledge. And even worse—you immediately clench in response to his words. The thought of Suo dictating who does and doesn't get to touch your cunt is… well, your mind is heading in a distinctly non-platonic direction.

Trying to ignore the heat in between your thighs (but at the same time encouraging it), you ask: “Who would you have been, um, okay with touching me?”

“Sakura or Nirei,” he says immediately. “Though only Sakura would be interested.”

“What.” You gape at him, all arousal forgotten. “Bullshit. He would never.”

“Yes, he would.” Suo tilts his head. “Haven't you noticed?”

“I don't think there's anything to notice? And also—he’s so shy, I don't think he'd ever agree even if he were interested!” You give him a bewildered look. “He couldn't even look at us when we said we were getting married, he was so embarrassed!”

“Embarrassed?” Suo stares at you, an amused glint in his eye. “Is that what you thought was going on?”

“Was there anything else?”

He studies you for a moment, clearly entertained but not explaining why. “Well—it’s fine,” he says. “It doesn't matter for now. Especially since he's helping us plan a wedding and all.”

You make a face. “I still can't believe that's the cover you went for.”

“Are you upset with it?” he asks smoothly, and you huff and say yes, but from his sly look, you think he knows it's a lie.

Naturally, you deflect before he can further interrogate you. “So, given that you are now my fiancé, am I no longer allowed to work on Keisei Street and see customers after my shifts?”

You don’t expect it when Suo says, “No, you can.”

You stare. “What?”

“You can keep seeing customers if you'd like. You said it makes you happy, so why would I stop you?” Suo’s brow furrows, his usual calm replaced with concern. “Do you really think I do the things I do to make you miserable?”

Guilt gnaws at your heart. He looks so disappointed. “No,” you tell him. “I just thought it'd make you miserable that I was sleeping with people without your permission.” It is partly why you hid it from him in the first place, after all. You don't like to see him sad—you’re still haunted by the deep grief he was in, after your master died—and also, his misery tends to bring bodily harm to other people these days.

Cognizant of both concerns, you ask, “You’re really okay with me sleeping with my customers? I can stop, if you want.”

“No, it’s fine. I still don't like it, but you can continue for now if you want.”

Suo’s mouth curls—not in a gentle way, as has been his expression since seeing you walk in, but in a way that sets off your flight or fight response.

“I'm sure we’ll reach a mutual understanding soon enough.”

END PART 1

thank you genuinely if you read all that because this is a deranged au and I still can't believe I wrote it sldfkjsldfkj. please do let me know if you enjoyed my yandere suo delusions. sorry there was no smut in this chapter. I promise there is a ton in the next one (probably too much... lol. it's a 10k chapter and literally half of those words are about orgasm denial sldfkjalskdjdf). it's completely written and I hope to edit and have it up by next week!

also here is glossary of terms and world building notes if you are interested!

tagging @kweenkatsuki-fics !! <3

[rinharu-purple]

On Jealousy

I owe this analysis/answer to an anon ask which I've accidentally posted, though only with the introduction sentence and then couldn't retrieve.🙈

Dear anon, this analysis is dedicated to you.

I HOPE YOU SEE THIS!!! 🙏🏻💫🙏🏻

Thank you @sin-with-quiche for proofreading and @lunabai78 for the spiritual support 💕💕💕

---—-----—

We have quite a number of moments in our journey with Gavin... Some are funny, some are cute, some are...mmm over the edge

(。-ω-)ﾉ

If you ask me whether Gavin is a jealous man, I would give you two answers:

1) Pre and early relationship... Absolutely!

2) Established relationship... The fitting colloquial term is "territorial".

In order to look at Gavin's attitude towards other males and whether to categorize them as jealous behaviour or not, first we need to describe jealousy .

Jealousy generally refers to the thoughts or feelings of insecurity, fear, and concern over a relative lack of possessions or safety.

The word stems from the French jalousie, formed from jaloux (jealous), and further from Low Latin zelosus (full of zeal), in turn from the Greek word ζήλος (zēlos), sometimes "jealousy", but more often in a positive sense "emulation, ardour, zeal" (with a root connoting "to boil, ferment"; or "yeast").

As you can see, there are different set of emotions that might boil or ferment the reaction of jealousy in one's belly.

My personal take on this is that jealousy arises from two simple things 1) Lack of self-confidence 2) Lack of trust towards one's partner (in terms of romantic jealousy). You don't get jealous when you know you're one hell-of-a-mate and are with the right person. Which is why as we will see in a minute Gavin fits the bill at the beginning but afterwards his jealousy isn't actually jealousy at all!

So which sets of emotions lead to his jealous behaviour and in which conjuncture?

We know that Gavin is completely attuned to MC. This also applies for his reaction towards the presence of other guys around her. So the type of jealousy he displays is attuned to MCs type of reaction to the source of his jealousy. He observes MCs aura and attitude carefully and then reacts in an either desirous, protective, territorial or downright pouty manner.

If he sees the person is overstepping their boundaries like TNTs Tyson or the guys catcalling her during Romantic Date, he gets protective. If he sees someone from his inner cycle being only the slightest overfamiliar with MC as in his phone call with Eli, he gets territorial and draws boundaries. If he gets ditched by MC and walks on her having lunch with another guy all the while she's being touched by him and she's not showing any protest, he pouts in the corner and stabs MC with his words "Too much of anything can get boring after a while" (love this moment and how Joe delivers this line with a strong tonation on the word - boooring-)

If he sees the person is actually drawing MCs attention, well... This is where we can look more into. Because this is actually a stereotypical example of making one jealous. Seeing your love interest with another person in an over-friendly manner.

In Trio Date, he worries that MC might have a crush on Kiro and a close relationship with him. Which is understandably an alarming situation for him, because he isn't that close to her himself and Kiro is... well... Kiro. Pretty much everyone's into him 🌟. But Gavin doesn't show any aggression or envy towards Kiro. On the contrary, he praises him for his charm and even says that he can see what people mean by that as in confessing to being charmed by Kiro himself. I really praise how elegant Gavin acts in the face of this situation 👑 Needless to say, it's a Gavin date, meaning the canon couple in this scenario is Gavin x MC (On a side note pretty bold and disrespectful of PG to put another LI in the supporting male role in a date for another tbh) And also RIP Chandler, the poor guy didn't do anything wrong ^_^

At this point I need to let one thing out of my chest though. I can't say that I appreciate him telling MC when and where to wear revealing clothes <spoiler alert> only for him. Even though we don't actually see him seriously forbidding her to wear them I think it would be better to leave her be the judge of it. But considering the fact that she gets catcalled even at his presence I can kinda see why Gavin gets protective here. On a side note, his girlfriend isn't better on this matter either. MC covers Gavin's body at the beach during 2021 summer event in CN server so that other girls don't drool over him 🤣 These two have some homework to do in that department I tell you that 😅

In the more mature phases of their relationship, we no longer see Gavin feeling himself threatened by the presence of another male. AT ALL! All Gavin jealousy after this point is only because someone is overstepping their boundaries and making "his girl" uncomfortable.

Gavin might be the one acting jealous the most frequently among the LIs, but he never ever gets possessive over her, limits her freedom or makes unconfirmed self proclaims on behalf of her. Being possessive over someone objectifies them and the moment you objectify a person, you no longer need to be in a relationship with them tbh. Leaving your partner room to breathe and respecting their personal space is important and Gavin does this the best alongside with Kiro. We also never see Kiro getting possessive, limiting or doing anything of that nature with MC.

Further in their relationship Gavin still acts jealous, but in an extremely cute, pure and harmless way. Be it against prankster ghosts, animals she's met in the middle of the desert, a wild child, service dogs, birds and co. Basically anyone and anything that diverts her attention from him for more than a nanosecond can be perceived as a threat but an adult male 😂At his core, Gav-babe wants MC all for himself but his jealousy is actually only adorkable.

(´∀｀)♡

In the main story, however, there is a certain LI which becomes the magnet for Gavin's firsthand jealousy and even kinda provokes this. And this is actually what I am dying to write about in this post😈. It only happens at the beginning of the story, but I love it so much and therefore it must be in this post.

Gavin shows signs of jealousy towards one particular LI at various occasions and that is...

Gavin shows obvious signs of jealousy towards our genius scientist and that is completely understandable! Lucien is the one who makes his advances first and is the most straightforward one throughout the main story. Plus, he lives right next to MC and, let's be honest here, is the only one who toys with MC's poor hormones the most. Just to give one example:

Gavin and MC don't become quite a couple before CH12 and S1 Gavin has some issues with self-worth and confidence (towards MC). When he meets MC again after 6 years, he is perplexed and is fairly clueless as to how to approach her romantically. Lest Gavin making the wrong moves, he acts weirdly around MC which further confuses her. Gav-babe is really weird at the beginning of the story 😅

The first time we see Gavin getting jealous about Lucien is in CH2, when he and MC spend a prolonged period of time for the first time as they investigate the time warping incident. Our birdcop is hopelessly in love with MC so when he sees her become so red on the phone with another person, he gets worked up.

Fun trivia, Joe's reaction to this moment can be found here

The second instance is when MC spends two nights in a row with Lucien in CH5 and then falls asleep in her office.

It is crucial to remember at this point that up to CH5, MC seems to be most romantically involved with Lucien and spends most of her time with him. LuLu mercilessly teasing her and flirting with her doesn't help much in that sense either because he is actively making advances on her. Thus announcing his candidacy for "Mr. Love". So when Gavin catches MC spending nights following Lucien, having phone calls with him, living right next door to him, working closely with him and blushes because of him, it's fairly understandable that our birdcop gets fairly jealous because at that point in the story Lucien seems to have a better shot at love with her than he does.

Btw, MC flatlines on his question as to who is the resource of her flustering this time around and doesn't explain herself ;)

Interestingly though, in the third instance, where Gavin sees MC and Lucien, he isn't jealous at all! In the famous "Rude Awakening" moment, the vibes we get at first is as if Gavin walks in to MC and Lucien. But actually our protective boyfriend is there to save MCs life. What's more, he doesn't give credit to Lucien's provocations, such as when he calls Gavin "dangerous" or pulls MC behind him, stays extremely close to her and plays the "protective boyfriend" in front of him. On Gavin's defense, the one actually saves MCs life and protects her is Gavin here as he deflects the bullet shot at her.¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Furthermore, he asks Lucien to take MC home, albeit not before telling her that he will be contacting her later, signaling to Lucien that he shouldn't stick along for long. A highly subtle way of "marking his territory", much like a wolf would. God I love this scene both in the main story and in the anime.

It is necessary to mention at this point that the chapter following this scene revolves around Gavin and MC clearing all kinds of misunderstandings between them and MC trying to bind with him. Hence laying the first stones in the temple of their relationship. After that point we no longer see Gavin showing any kind of jealousy towards anyone. So mark CH7 people ;)

----—-----—-----—

You know what I would love to see? Gavin getting jealous over Shaw. I wonder whether he even knows that MC spends time with him 🤔 Too bad that PG has left the idea "brother conflict".

If you would like to read another perspective on this, Cheri has posted her analysis here

[softcallofdutyimagines]

Hello!! Can we have an couple of HCs of the safehouse bois (COD: Cold War) loving their curvy fem s/o? (and maybe trying to make her feel happy in her body if she's insecure of feels weird?)

Thankie and sorry for the oddly specific request 😅

Djsjsjsj ok ik you have like two other requests, and they'll be coming!!! But this struck such a mood I had to skip the line lol.

Honestly, like the way I tried to treat myself to some ✨ s p i c e y ✨ lingerie that just arrived and it fits literally everywhere else except that, ofc the cup size is an absolute JOKE, i-

Anyway, I digress lmao. Thank you for the request(s) btw, and enjoy!!!

---

Adler

Personally, he doesn't strike me as the kind of guy to have a particularly strong preference for any one "type"

But in the era where the super tall, super slim, super models reign supreme, he understands that sometimes it's hard to feel pretty if you're built like anything else

After all, I don't think any of the guys know how it feels to see yourself as "unattractive" more then he does

I mean, if he'd been cut a little deeper or on a different angle, he could've needed whole skin grafts, or even physical therapy for his jaw

And who wants a guy as messed up and broken down as that, right?

But you... Oh, you're gorgeous

Adler is very soft and gentle when it comes to his appreciation for you and your body

While he does know how to express himself, he's not really the grand gesture type, like some of the others are

He is the biggest self love hypocrite, always quick to get down on himself and his facial scars, but absolutely cannot STAND to see you upset over you body

You chide him for this now and then, but he usually jokes it away

I know I said Adler doesn't really have a type, but don't think for a second that he'd pass up on a great thing when he gets it

I don't want to say "handsy" but he definitely likes to just... Touch you, when you're alone together

Not even necissarily in a sexual way, he just likes to appreciate the shape of you, you know?

Very into hugs from behind, or really at any angle, as long as he gets to feel his arms around your waist

Also, you can catch him absent mindedly caressing your hips with his knuckles or a lone finger whenever he's standing around with you

Hudson

Oh y'all ain't ready for this one lmao

I am 99% certain that behind that steely facade, is a man who loves nothing more then a THICC juicy Queen™

I'm so serious, like the curvier the better for this dirty dog lmao

The best part is, that the fun isn't in that he just goes feral when you two are alone (although he certainly could, in a rare mood)

He's actually really shy about it, and he doesn't want you to feel like that's the only reason he loves you

And while you do appreciate the respect he has for you, you'd be lying if you said you didn't like to tease him

A favorite of yours is to walk into his home office half or fully naked and watch him, very obviously, struggle to stay focused on his paper work

He knows he's weak, but damn it he can never last long before giving in and handing over whatever kind of attention you're seeking

You know, whatever that may be 😏

When you're feeling insecure however, he can sense it immediately and always seeks to get to the bottom of whatever is causing you to feel that way

Although he's rather direct, he's tactful and tries his best to know the right thing to say

He's a great listener, and will never hesitate to tell you how beautiful and special you are to him

Lazar

Lmao, I don't think there is any universe in which Lazar would not be in full support of being with a curvy woman

Especially as a big guy himself, you two are an absolute power couple

He is both literally and metaphorically your biggest hype man when it comes to your appearance

Also, 10/10 likes to give you gifts of clothes and the like that he thinks you might appreciate/look pretty darn good in

Honestly, it is rare to feel down about your body when in a relationship with him, but everyone gets insecure sometimes, and he gets that

Thankfully, he's a master comforter, and is always at the ready to give you the treatment you need to feel better

Typically you can expect snacks and cuddles if you're just feeling sad, and stuff like a massage or body kisses and so forth if you need a reminder that you're literally the most gorgeous woman on earth

Oh, and he's very protective of you and defensive of your looks

I kind of hate to use this terminology lmao, but Lazar is the Alpha™ everywhere he goes, and he has no problem reminding other guys of it

So if he sees someome else checking you out, he'll be sure to block their view and do something like make direct eye contact until they leave you be

Have you ever had a 6'4, powerlifter looking, tank of a man sneer directly at you before?

Not a good feeling, I assure you

Needless to say, you don't have to put up with much, if any harassment or other stupidity on Lazar's watch

Mason

Alex strikes me as the type who doesn't buy into the paper thin beauty standard that society like to push

Obviously that's great if you're just naturally thin and all! But mostly he's totally down for the curvy, "built like a brick house" type of woman

He appreciates the way that you can keep up with him when he has to do physical things around or outside the house

Alaska is a rather unforgiving place after all, so he finds great comfort in the support and companionship you have to offer him

You're like his little amazonian goddess, and he's always in awe of not only how unbelievably beautiful you are, but also how hardy and tough you can be

In fact, you and your body are so normalized and loved by him in his mind that it genuinely catches him off guard when you say you're feeling insecure about it

But in times like that, he loves to tell you how beautiful your body is, not just for the way it looks but for the things it can do

You're built so strong and tough, but also soft and feminine... he can't even think about being with anyone else

He's very into body worship, like Lazar is, but Alex is a lot more gentle and is extremely conscious of making sure you're alright as he goes along kissing and caressing

If he could only show you how beautiful you are to him, he would in a heartbeat, but for now he just hopes his words and actions are enough

Sims

Oh, you already know Sims loves a thicc, curvy snack of a woman lmao

Skinny guys always love the curvy ladies

He doesn't really go feral when you two are alone, but he's not exactly shy about having this hands all over you either

For sure he always greets you with a compliment, whether it be a look, a whistle, or words... he's prepared

Also, he's very vocal in having you understand that there is not a single outfit you look "bad" or "unflattering" in, even if it's just sweats and a t-shirt

In fact, he is so confident in you, that he loves to show you off when he can and if you're comfortable

Always introduces you as "his girl" and is never afraid to point out your new outfit, hair-do, nails, ect

I feel that Lawrence would be another case where it's quite rare indeed to feel insecure about your body, and so when such times do arise he takes it seriously

He's basically a gentler, more emotional version of Hudson

By that I mean, he's the type to want to talk it out (if you're up to it) and ask what's wrong or if someone said something to you

You'll always have a reliable listener and food advice giver in him, and somehow that seems to always do the trick

Woods

Honestly, Woods is Hudson part 2, except that he has all the vocalized pride of loving curvy women as Sims and Lazar

He's still careful to make sure he doesn't come off as a creep or something, mind you, but complimenting and loving on your body just comes naturally to him

Extremely handsy in private, and you've definitely swatted his hands away from your hips, waist, back, ect more then once

In public, I wouldn't exactly say "handsy" but he's determined to make sure everyone knows you're with him

He usually escorts you places with a hand gently placed either just above your tailbone or protectively wrapped around your waist

As independent as you may be, you must admit, it's nice to feel like a princess everywhere you go, escorted around by your knight in shining flannel

He'll even offer you his arm if he's feeling particularly gentlemanly, because yes, miracles can happen

Unfortunately, Frank is probably the worst wordsmith of all the gang, and is next to clueless on what to say if you're feeling down and insecure

At least to his credit he'll usually start off by admitting to that fact before giving it a try

"Well, you know I'm shit with words, but... I hope you also know that I love you the way you are"

Thankfully what he lacks in words, he makes up for in physical affection

Even if you're really only comfortable with some cuddling, he's gonna cuddle you so good!!! He's determined and will stop at nothing

After all, whatever it takes to make you feel every bit as amazing as he knows you are

[masterhandss]

‘My Next Life as A Villainess’ Anime is over...

SO WHAT NOW???

A lot of us are disappointed that Katarina’s adventures are finally over, and a lot of us are gonna miss watching the wacky hi-jinks of our dense villainess. I’ve seen a lot of people say that they will stop posting or paying attention to hamefura after the anime ends, and while I might be the same to some extent, I just want to say that there are still a lot of hamefura things to look forward to after the anime ends!

These are actually some very obvious things to look forward to, but you know I’d still like to share them so you can use them to fill the hole in your heart that the anime left behind.

-------

Edit: (9/30/20) I added stuff, as well as a cut for all yall who says my posts are too long qwq

The Manga

Hamefura still has an on-going manga that is currently in Chapter 3 of the Light Novels! A lot of you already read it, and understand that it can get frustrating when there’s a lack of updates on the english side of things, but if you’re really curious, you can go over and check out the JP releases every month so you can have an idea of whats to come for the manga :DD (The fan translation of ENG Chapter 26 came out a few days ago so you know it’s not dead!!)

I’d recommend reading the english translation on Mangadex, since most translation groups officially upload their translation on there. 

The Spin-off (Hametsuo/Bakarina Alter)

It deserves it’s own category for just how unique it is in terms of its reception in the western crowd. I know a lot of people probably read it, but I guess people barely talk about because it’s not really that far into it’s premise yet. 

I just can’t stop recommending this manga to people (despite not going where I thought it’d be) because of how good the art-style is and how much promise it has. It updates monthly, which I know is a long wait, but it does pay off when you see the quality of everything. Plus it’s just fun to imagine how hamefura would go if it followed the typical “villainess otome isekai” format.

I actually love talking about hametsuo, so maybe my posts are woth the look ;; w ;;

The Light Novels

credits to @sparckle-art​ for the scans!

I’m happy to read that a lot of people are gonna go switch and buy the light novels after the anime ends! By the time the anime ends, the Vol. 6 of the LN would release a week later, acting kind of like a replacement of what is supposed to be a new episode for that week.

The fan-translated version of the web novel is available online, up until half of Vol. 4, but I still recommend buying the books on bookwalker (i don’t know if the sale is still there, but I’d recommend picking up the book regardless!). If reading the fan translation piqued your interest, then playing for the books would definitely worth your money if you ask me! 

An increase of sales might show them that there’s interest for this light novel, and might make them translate the JP novels even faster! (or maybe i’m just too impatient to wait 2-3 months for Volume 7 dshfjsfgs who knows?)

My only warning is that the tone really does shift post-arc 1 (Fortune Lover I) so if you’re looking for harem hijinks, from spoilers I’ve seen I think there would less of that and more of world building. (ps. please stop asking me where to read it ;;-;;)

Edit: Volume 8 is coming out in a few months, with Volume 9 probably being released at either Jan or Feb next year, then after that it’ll be a yearly update

StoryMe Otome Game

credit to the hamefura reddit discord for the screenshots!

I’m surprised a lot of people doesn’t know about the StoryMe game, despite it updating every week alongside the anime. Just kidding I didn’t either lol, I actually found about this thanks to the hamefura reddit discord server! StoryMe is a choose-your-own-adventure otome game, kind of like those “Episodes” or “Chapters” game that gets recommended on Youtube a lot. 

It’s still in japanese, which is probably why not a lot of people knows of it yet, but it seems like you can play as Katarina and romance anyone from the entire harem (yes, the girls too), so keep you eyes peeled for if ever it gets an english translation!

It’s basically the bluray Fortune Lover game with the DVDs, but instead of Maria, you actually get to play as Katarina!

(I’ll make a separate post for this later, maybe)

Edit: The game just came out in English in September 16, and just spat out a 11-episode update at September 30

tldr: go play it, it has 19 episodes out right now

Katarina’s Farm

It’s a newly announced mobile game with a web trial version that centers around playing as Katarina, trying to earn money and points for expanding your farm land, planting more expensive plants and getting the other members of the harem to join you! It’s a 2D pixel game that seems like it wouldnt take too much time to play (you can get the first 4 characters within 30 minutes of gameplay, but that might be adjusted in the mobile version) so I understand if it might not interest some people, but that’s still something to look forward to!

I made another post about it so check out the link to the web version here!

The Bluray Otome Game

While I can’t say this for certain, but maybe if there was ever an official english bluray release, it might include the Fortune Lover Male Capture Target Routes that are included in the game. Maybe someone will play it and translate it even! It would interesting to see how different the boys are, and give us further appreciation for Katarina’s influence and changes!

There’s a preview for a CG in Keith’s Route, which comes with the second bluray (no pv for Geordo ;; w ;;)

Edit: All the boy’s routes are out in Japanese

We don’t know if they’ll ever be released in English though, so hopefully someone translates them at least ;;w;;

The Manga and Yuri Anthology

Missing the hilarious and heartwarming antics of Katarina and her harem? Then you should check out the Manga Anthology (that has just been been translated in its entirety). It’s 14 chapters of absolute hilarity!

There’s also a Yuri Anthology, featuring the 4 girls of the harem! If you’re looking for more of that then, it’s an absolute recommendation!

Spin-off Visual Novel

Edit: They recently just announced a spinoff visual novel! It takes place after the Fortune Lover 1 Arc and features sexy pirates hgsjhgsdf

It’s just recently announced so there’s not a lot of info besides the company making it (it’s Otomate) and the fact that it’s gonna be an all new Bakarina adventure uwu

Bakarina Radio

I heard there’s a Bakarina Radio too, featurning the VAs of the anime cast. 

I don’t know if its a regular thing or a one time thing, but its still worth checkin out!

https//twitter.com/hamehura/status/1309831738525278209

The Second Season of the Anime

I seriously wasn’t expecting another season, considering how different the next arc is, but I’m happy nonetheless for more Bakarina! I hope this motivates the fans to continue supporting the series, as a bigger reaction will definitely lead to more content for us to enjoy! I have a theory about S2, which I think is worth the read :3c

Other Otome Isekais

There’s a lot of other Villainess Otome Isekai’s that are worth the read, and a lot of them as just as interesting as hamefura, despite the lack of a harem (from deep rooted revenge to hilarious and crazy villainess, there’s a lot!) The quickest recommendation I can give is just looking up “Akuyaku” and “Villainess” on Mangadex (do both btw they dont have the same results), but theres a lot that doesn’t get recommended so do your research! I swear it’s worth your time!

Anyways, I hope any of these fill the hole that the hamefura anime will leave in our hearts as we wait for season 2! (sorry for repeating the same line again hdsfgdjhsfg) Feel free to add anything like fanfic recommendations and artists, as I can’t cover everything on my own, as those really help provide hamefura fans with content :DD

[dorkshadows]

OK I WANTED TO REPLY TO SOME OF YOUR TAGS- this is sneakydraws btw- 1st of all im super happy you liked the ao lie comic and THAT YOU CAUGHT THE PONYTAIL=DRAGONTAIL PARALELL- i wanted to make it more obvious but i couldn’t fit it into the space SO IT’S LOWKEY SURPRISING IT STILL CAME ACROSS... 2nd of all don't EVER think i (or FLB for that matter) could ever get sick of your tags!!! they're so lovely to see!!! if anything we worry that all this fanart is overwhelming, it's a lot i know 😭and finally since you expressed your... intrigue... at the phrase ‘cats hs au’ it’s. it’s a hs au of the characters from the cats musical. as in the og stage musical. which FLB was briefly obsessed with last year and got me into as well. the entire thing is on my blog under the ‘cats hs au’ tag and it’s actually fairly long 😭😭😭idk why the shit she shows me has to be the weirdest most obscure thing 90% of the time but i usually end up loving it so i can’t complain can i!!! ANYWAY im still recivering from ch16 but thank you for your service the western 17jttw fandom is literally like 4 people and yet we have this amazing fic thanks to you!!! xoxo

Hi Hi!! Thanks so much for the message- sorry it took a while to reply! (and I'll be replying your ao3 comments over the weekend!!) I loved the Ao Lie comic. Ah, so glad I wasn't imagining the dragontail thing! It was deliberate and I can't thank you enough :D It came across perfectly imo

I'm really glad you guys aren't annoyed by the long tags! I try to be as detailed as possible because I know how long drawings take (or maybe you guys are geniuses who do 5-second drawings, but it still deserves the appreciation), and getting art of my humble fic is honestly one of the best gifts an author can receive :'D And I needed to let you guys know that I 100% notice and appreciate every detail you put into them. (And no, not overwhelming at all! The opposite of overwhelming! I feel absolutely spoiled by your lovely art and no joke, it's one of the things keeping me motivated throughout the weeks, the possibility of seeing your arts!)

For some reason, I thought the cats HS au was going to be a crack jttw x cats!the musical/movie high school au XD I'm so glad you and FLB vibe on everything- having a friend to share a braincell with you is the best feeling. There is so much power in the obscure and niche asdfasdf It forces you to embrace the inner weirdo. Best of luck on your cats hs au! (love that you specified the stage musical and not the cgi film LOL)

Hope the rest of Act 2 is treating you well ;) And ahh, it's my pleasure. When I first started posting that fic, there were virtually no readers (I vividly remember receiving my first comment on ch. 6, and my sworn bro earl supporting me by reviewing the one and only platonic chapter involved! #loveyoubro) but for once in my life, that didn't stop me LMAO Suntang took over my soul like nothing else ever had that year (and it continued through 2018, and would have continued if not for the pandemic alas), and I kept publishing anyway. I regret nothing!

Seriously an honor to know you enjoy the fic, and thank you for your service to our 17!fandom of +/- 4. And hopefully I can finally finish the fic up in the near future!

[study-van]

Hello everyone!! This blog currently has 10k followers which is a huge number of people and to be frank quite overwhelming. While starting this blog, I never expected to receive this much positivity and support. I’m so glad that I was able to motivate others while documenting my ongoing academic journey!!! So to celebrate this milestone I’ve asked you guys what you wanted and the votes are in but before that I’d like to thank some friends. (This is going to be a long post so I’m sorry)

@jeonchemstudy Thank you so much for being my friend/(lowkey)mentor since we started talking. Whenever something happens I always come talking to you and I’m not even kidding. Can I also mention the fact that we’ve extremely similar tastes and expectations out of life and at first it was kind of weird bc too many similarities but over time I stopped questioning it fjjd Anyways love you so much and thanks for being you.

@serendistudy You were literally one of my first friends one here and I’ve waxed poems about you a couple of times but I just want to say that you’re genuinely one of the nicest people in this community and I’m so glad to know you and call you a friend.

@sosiaalitieteet I will keep it short for you but you’re seriously so funny and outspoken, it’s always a delight to see you on my dash or just talk to you. Please show me more of your OCs, I got invested in them in just one convo. (ps sorry for literally sending you a cat photo in each of our convos)

@myhoneststudyblr We actually followed each other for some time yet our first actual convo was a train wreck and a half and I wouldn’t have it any other way!! You’re seriously so funny and lovely, it’s always so easy to talk to you. Also, you always deliver the best challenges and I really appreciate that!!!

@schrodingered you seriously have the best book recs and I’m so thankful for that!! We’ve been friends for some time on here and I’m really glad to know you and get your insight on anything. I know most of the time you don’t feel like it but you actually have qualité content and I love your blog

@coffeeandpies I actually can’t believe we are friends sometime bc even before I opened my blog I was following you fjfjf You’re seriously so funny and a breath of fresh air on my dash by keeping it extremely real!!

@museeofmoon n we actually talk about anything but studyblr but it’s still amazing!! Thank you for always supporting me with your extremely nice messages. Also yaaay go winter babies

@philology-studies We’ve recently started talking but you’re such an amazing person!! I hope you’ll like the letter I sent you. Btw your taste in shows and books are exquisite

@summit-studies we always talk about the most random stuff at the most random times but it’s always so easy to talk with you. I’m glad I really got to know you!!

@bulletnotestudies I’m so glad you messaged me one day and I got to know you!! You’re such an inspiring and kind person, I can’t wait to see how our med school experiences will go!!

I can’t talk about anyone or this post will never end but here are some other amazing people: @stuhde @luvgyus @headgirlstudy @ash-trological @venustudy @thxnderclouds @sonderstudy @sweetstudymine @blacklinguist @starryeize @chazza-studies-alevels @emili-a-a @saturniiiblr @mal-studyblr @collegewithme @bright-goals @mint-tea-studies @merakietudier @fluencylevelfrench @rivkahstudies @bentostudy

I definitely forgot some people but without further ado the celebration!!

NOTE: If you don’t want to see any posts related to this event, you can blacklist the tag #studyvancelebrates bc that is what I will be using!!

Rules

You must be following me, new followers are welcome too!!

Reblog or like this post

If you are sending me an ask on anon or a side-blog, please mention it

Only one option per person

Please be respectful to me (meaning don’t send me more than one ask or keep asking me why I am taking so long etc.)

🌿moodboards

Send me a 🌿 and tell me a cherished memory!!! If you’re not comfortable with it you can also tell me your favorite book and why you liked it. I will try my best for the moodboards but it might take some time!!

🎧personalized playlists

Send me a 🎧 and tell me about the aesthetic you like! If you can also tell me one of your favorite artists I would also really appreciate it, it would definitely give me a better idea for the playlist!! Also, I think my music taste is good so you guys can trust me djdj

✏️doodles

Send me a ✏️ and tell me your favorite food!So I can draw your icon, a favorite small character (like gudetama, koya, etc.), or something small, but please specify what you want!!! I think the previous celebrations proved that I am not good at drawing but I do try my best!!! Plus, if it turns out horrendously, we can laugh about it together.

[eviebyme]

Hi, can I ask for a pairing? My fave groups are nct dream, the boyz and txt. Here's my chart:

Sun Scorpio, Moon Pisces, Mercury Scorpio, Venus Libra, Mars Capricorn, Jupiter Aries, Ascendant Aquarius, MC Scorpio

Btw I really like reading your posts! 💖

- 🌺

Hi there! Of course!!😄. Thanks - I enjoy writing them! Im excited to post about txt... I love them! I don't know too much about the boyz but I did my best. I hope you enjoy, lovely! This is entirely based off of your birth charts, Your signs will be in pink and theirs will be in green!

Astrology Compatibility Series💫

For Nct Dream

I ship you with Chenle!

Venus in Libra/Mars in Aquarius

You two have similar interests but also have enough differences to keep the relationship alive and exciting. With your Venus in Libra you are quite the social creature and are always in or looking for a relationship. You expect fairness and respect from your significant other and at times feel as if you give more than you receive. His Mars in Aquarius makes him constantly on the search for new ideas and experiences. He lives for the unconventional while you are more traditional. However, with your shared interests you both can talk for hours about a variety of topics. You support his quirkiness and show him constant affection and appreciation, which he values. He gives you the constant attention you need and will stick by your side through anything.

Mars in Capricorn/Venus is Scorpio

You both take your relationship very seriously. You both value commitment and will forge a strong, intense bond. In romance, you are more reserved and tend to not throw yourself into your relationships unless you are certain it is worth it. Once you trust your partner, you devote yourself to them and are constantly trying to prove yourelf to them. His Venus in Scorpio makes him attracted to your reserved and mysterious aura. He sees you as an intense, dedicated individual and craves to discover what is underneath the surface. He trusts you and depends on you for more practical matters in the relationship. You are initially attracted to his charm and intensity and try to attract him by impressing him with your accomplishments and achievements.

For the boyz

I ship you with... Eric!!

Moon in Pisces/Moon in Scorpio

You both are very sensitive and receptive to each others needs and emotions. Your Pisces Moon makes you deeply understanding, forgiving, and tolerant of his sometimes emotionally volatile Scorpio Moon. He tends to hold on to hurt feelings and may become tactless when hurt. You play peacemaker and squash each conflict as they arise. Nevertheless, you two understand each other well and respect each others differences. You both have an appreciation for the arts (and the occult!)- I can see art museum dates!

Mars in Capricorn/Venus in Aquarius

With your Mars in Capricorn you wear a serious face that hides a depth of emotions and passion. His Venus in Aquarius makes him quite the free spirit. He needs independence and freedom in his relationships and expresses his love through loyalty and companionship. He might not show constant affection but he will show you his devotion by being consistent. You appreciate this since you do not prefer clingy partners who constantly need affection. You will be attracted to his mysterious charm and laid back demeanor while he will be attracted to your straightforward approach. Don't try to control him or impose to many rules on him - let him run free!

You both have compatible sun signs too! (Scorpio/Capricorn)

For txt

I ship you with... Beomgyu!

Sun in Scorpio/Sun in Pisces

You both want a fairytale romance and experience intense emotions. You tend to hold parts of yourself back and can become tactless when emotionally overwhelmed. However, he is understanding of your emotional depth and can become resilient to your sometimes volatile emotions. You two have many similar interest and tend to become inseparable when doing shared activities. You two will rarely fight, but may have a lot of misunderstandings due to your roughness and his sensitivity. When you two talk about topics that you are passionate about you can lose yourselves for hours. If someone were to listen in on one of your conversations they would think you both were lunatics. You have a communication style that most other people could never understand. Conversation topics can range from 'Where would humanity be in 100 years' to 'Is cereal soup?'

Venus in Libra/Mars in Sagittarius

Opposites attract! Your Venus in Libra makes you have an appreciation for the finer things in life. You dream of an idyllic life where you can be perceived as "perfect" and cultivated. His Mars in Sagittarius gives him a thirst for adventure. He is a simple man who has an enthusiasm and lust for life. He loves to perform for an audience. He would be the one at a party cracking jokes or telling funny stories. Having a sense of humor is definitely the quickest way to his heart. You will be attracted to his lust for life. You will serve as his much appreciated audience and accompany him on his many adventures. He will love to show you all of his favorite cuisines and places. Get ready for the ride!

REQUESTS CLOSED

[ladymatt]

🙌 Fic Rec Bingo 🙌

Created by @lightveils on Twitter, this sounded like a fun challenge to do - and I’ve managed to fill the whole card with #Malec fics! *In truth, I could’ve used a card for a number of individual writers on their own, but the fics I finally settled on are under the cut! ❤ Enjoy! And show the writers some love! :-))  

👇LINKS  TO THE 25 FIC RECS BELOW THE CUT 👇

*A FIC YOU LOVE WITHOUT KNOWING THE SOURCE MATERIAL*

✨ Beyond The Sea by @lemonoclefox ✨

Never played BioShock but the underwater city of Rapture was brought to life so vividly here, that it didn’t matter!   

*A FIC WITH A PREMISE THAT SHOULDN’T WORK BUT DOES*

✨ How Rare and Beautiful by @glorious-spoon ✨

Having 'our' Malec appear to TWI's Magnus worked wonderfully, thanks to some very clever writing!  

* A FIC YOU’VE RE-READ SEVERAL TIMES*

✨ Best Laid Plans by  @superficialpeasant  ✨

I'll always come back to this DEEPLY satisfying story of intrigue, authority, prejudice, support - and my favourite depiction of bad-ass, hot-as-hell Malec!

*A FIC YOU STILL REMEMBER YEARS LATER*  

✨ Home by @otppurefuckingmagic ✨

I read this gem three years ago now, but I still remember the chills I got when the emotional build-up led to a twist that blind-sided me - in the best of ways!

*A COMFORT FIC*

✨ Higher Than The Big Trees by  @carmenlire ✨

Getting updates for this lengthy tale, knowing it was only ever going to hit new heights of happiness each time, makes this a real heart-warmer!

*A CATHARTIC FIC*

✨Good Intentions by @alittlebriton ✨

There was only ever one contender for this - an alternative take on what happens after Malec's 3x18 break-up - because chapter 4 had me punching the air over both of them venting their shit!

*A FIC YOU’D PRINT AND PUT ON YOUR BOOKSHELF*

✨ Of Splendour In The Grass by @lecrit ✨

Prejudice, poetry, pining and period Malec, was captured so beautifully here that it deserves to be bound and displayed in pride of place imo!

*A FIC YOU ASSOCIATE WITH A SONG*

✨ Appassionato by @chonideno ✨

Thanks to this fic, I can't hear Liszt's Liebestrume No. 3 in A flat without thinking of Alec hitting all the right notes with his music-loving neighbour!

*A FIC THAT INSPIRES YOU*

✨Thousands Upon Thousands Made An Ocean by @ohlafraise✨

This emotional fic was a lesson in how to have a story pack a punch into less than 800 well-chosen words! Still hurts, even now!

*A FIC THAT BROUGHT YOU ON BOARD A NEW SHIP*

✨Lasă-mă să stau (Let Me Stay) by @superficialpeasant ✨

An absorbing one-shot relating to the writer’s Best Laid Plans fic, this unexpectedly charming love story between Underhill and Hawkstorm (HawkHill) is the canon I will cling to!

*A FIC YOU WISH COULD BE A MOVIE*

✨ A Dream Of Peace by @ketzwrites ✨

There are some fics too epic in scale and splendour for mere imagination to do them justice, and this historical tale of kingdoms and knights deserves to be watched in technicolor glory!

*A FIC THAT LED TO YOU MAKING FRIENDS WITH THE AUTHOR*

✨ Brooklyn Magic by @the-burning-tiger ✨

I've met so many through their work, but I'm singling out the brilliant,Tigs, here because of our ridiculous descent into poetical exchanges in the latter chapters of this fic - one of my earliest Malec reads! Sending cwtches, T! X

*FREE SPACE - A FIC THAT’S WORTH WAITING FOREVER FOR TO GET AN UPDATE - IT’S THAT GOOD!*

✨Working Hard/Hardly Working by @irisadler (on AO3) & @stupidnephilimlove ✨

I'm currently re-reading this sexually-charged getting-to-REALLY-know-you fic which includes relatable temptation, brilliant humour & a soft, sweet centre - believe it or not! Perfect title, btw!

*A FIC YOU’VE GUSHED ABOUT IN REAL LIFE*

✨Your Name For A Capital by @the-prophet-lemonade✨

This time-travelling tale of repeated love and loss was both rich in detail about Magnus' past and devastatingly bittersweet about what lay ahead in Magnus' future! His heartache made me cry!

*A FIC YOU ASSOCIATE WITH A PLACE*

✨Two Halves Of The End Of The World by @la-muerta✨

Batavia was finally brought to life for me, thanks to @tethysea's enviable talent for world-building, with all the scenic detail and historical references that help enrich the story itself!

*A FIC THAT MADE YOU GASP OUT LOUD*

✨The Right Kind Of Love by @onyxmoon (on AO3)✨

I thought the 'betrayal' at the beginning of this fic was hard to take, but Magnus dealing with the aftermath and his own insecurities was even tougher! Malec learning to communicate is always a balm though!

*A FIC YOU FOUND AT THE RIGHT TIME*

✨Free Of Charge by @lorenzobane✨

Magnus being appreciated and protected by his dedicated and devoted Shadowhunter in this short but seriously sweet fic was precisely what I needed after S1!

*A FIC THAT YOU WOULD READ FIC OF*

✨Lead The Way by @clockworkswans✨

Like a black hole, this Doctor/Companion AU sucked me in, and just like the Tenth Doctor, I didn't want to leave! Such a moving and fantastical journey - I'd love to hear more of their adventures!

*A FIC THAT MADE YOU LAUGH OUT LOUD*

✨Don’t You Wanna Stay by @AlxSteele (on AO3)✨

Enemies to Lovers is a fave trope of mine, and when the stubborn denial and seething dislike is burned away with sexy humour and telling gestures, as in this gem, it's great fun to read!

*A FIC WITH A LINE OR TWO YOU’VE MEMORISED BY HEART*

✨You Who Have Come From My Old Country by @poemsfromthealley✨

"Even so, Magnus loved him, loved him, loved him" - very few writers could persuade me to endure a Malec fic that tells of unbearable loss and suffering - but the touching celebration of their legacy is what I take away from this!

*A FIC THAT GAVE YOU BUTTERFLIES*

✨Body Of Memory by @glorious-spoon✨

This memorable fic about amnesia effectively had S1 Alec being confronted with S3 Alec's reality - and I STILL feel Magnus' fear and Alec's confusion in my bones!

*A FIC THAT EMBODIES SOMETHING YOU VALUE IN LIFE*

✨ Magnus Bane’s School For Young Warlocks by @Miasunrise (on AO3)✨

Alec doing whatever it takes to protect his children is definitely something I can relate to, and this cleverly-crafted fic of finding new family gives depth and character to Max and Raphael!

*A FAVOURITE AU*

✨Walkers Of The Winding Path by @poemsfromthealley​

The bewitching combination of mythical monsters, supernatural hunters and  this writer’s distinctive way with words means I'm completely under this story's spell! I'll walk this path many times, I think!

*A FIC YOU STAYED UP TOO LATE TO FINISH READING*

✨My Body Is A Cage by @unrestrainedlyexcessive​✨

This was me dipping my toe into an AU I wasn't convinced I'd enjoy, but thanks to this writer’s compellingly-quirky storytelling, I couldn't rest before knowing what befell these fated lovers!

*A FIC THAT MADE YOU FEEL SEEN*

✨Beautiful Distraction by @unending-happiness​✨

Who better to colour my bespoke fic with every shade of me there is, than my parabatai, Brit! Welcome to my favourite pairing - Malec & Pandemonium! LY, B! ❤😘

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[peterstanslizzie]

Re-watching Lizzie Mcguire: Episode 2.6 (The Rise and Fall of the Kate Empire)

A baby kitten is born every time Kate smiles

- It’s lunchtime and the students of Hillridge Junior High have flocked to the school courtyard to eat their lunch. However, Lizzie, Gordo and Miranda got there a bit too late and they are struggling to find seats.The only 3 seats available are at Kate and Claire’s table (which was actually their usual table) but due to obvious reasons, they hesitate to sit with them. 

- However, Gordo is sick of eating his baloney in the grass and wants to take a stand against the cheerleaders and their ‘no mixing with outsiders’ policy. Things start out promising but moments later, all three of them end up eating in the grass.  

I wish they showed what Kate and Claire did or say to them that caused them to back away. 

- The cheerleaders are then seen practicing their routine led by Kate and our main trio have no other choice but to watch them. As Lizzie is watching them perform, she expresses her disdain for Kate and wishes that she would be knocked off her pedestal. Well, be careful what you wish for Lizzie because it might just come true and just like that...we get this moment:

Claire, the new Queen Bee Cheerleader

- After the opening credits, we find out that Kate had dislocated her shoulder and won’t be able to do cheerleading for about a month. Whilst Gordo and Miranda are somewhat thrilled about it, Lizzie feels slightly bad for Kate because she didn’t want her to get hurt. I’m not surprised since Kate and Lizzie did share that one bonding moment together in Season 1. So, she already knows there’s good inside of her. 

- We then see Kate arriving at the cheerleaders’ lunch table but Claire and the rest of her so-called ‘friends’ are giving her a weird look. Claire rudely tells Kate that she’s not allowed to sit at their table since her shoulder got dislocated and can’t be a cheerleader anymore. She’s giving such Gretchen Wieners “You can’t sit with us” vibes. But seriously, this really shows me that Claire and the other girls are such bad friends because they are willing to turn their back against their own kind for no good reason. Especially Claire; Why would she treat her best friend like that? That’s really evil. 

- I thought Kate was going to stand up for herself but no, she just leaves without fighting back. And look at her! She’s eating alone on the grass...I feel bad for her and so does Lizzie.

- Life for Lizzie and her friends under Claire’s rule or should I say, iron fist is miserable. Not only is she forcing people who’s not popular to not walk in the same hallway as her, she’s also making everyone eat lunch in the grass. She’s way worse than Kate, that’s for sure. 

- Fun fact: The Lizzie Mcguire novel titled ‘The Rise and Fall of the Kate Empire’ that was based on this episode actually included Claire telling our main trio that they’re not allowed to walk in that hallway because she deemed it to be a “cheerleaders-only hallway”. She also tells them to go to the ‘dork-hallway’ instead, which where the next scene takes place. 

Mission ‘Re-popularize Kate’

- Kate is seen struggling to carry her books and Lizzie approaches her to help. Lizzie also apologizes to Kate about everything that has happened to her recently. Lizzie doesn’t have to feel weird about being nice to her; They’re definitely friends deep down still. 

- After school, Lizzie tells her friends that they should try to make Kate popular again so that they don’t have to deal with Claire being the school’s Queen Bee anymore. But of course, it’s clear Lizzie really wants to help her only because she feels sorry for her. After some initial hesitation, Gordo and Miranda are onboard with Lizzie’s new mission. 

-  For stage one of their plan, they first try to spread a rumor about Kate’s aunt being a famous cheerleader for the Lakers, which backfires on them because it made Kate seem even more desperate to become popular again. With Plan B, they sit with Kate in the grass and ask her what they can do to help her so that she can get her friends back again. 

- Hmm, how about not giving two cents about her fake friends? They are horrible for just dumping her like that. Time to move on, I say. Anyways, Kate laments about not being able to do any cheerleading stunts with just one arm but I love how Lizzie is recommending her some stunts she can do since she did do Rhythmic Gymnastics in the 7th grade. I like this callback. 

- Another fun fact: The novel also included Lizzie revealing to Kate that they were the ones who spread that rumor about her aunt. 

Aww look at her; She really appreciates Lizzie for being willing to help her. Also, I’m living for Miranda calling Claire a witch lmao. 

- Things shift over to a montage of Lizzie teaching Kate how to do one-handed stunts and Kate picks it up pretty quickly. After practice, Kate acts like she isn’t grateful for them helping her, which of course, is all a front since she wants to maintain her tough exterior in front of other people. Oh, and this moment was really awkward but funny to watch:

Basically, Gordo thought that Kate was going to thank him for helping her but it turns out that he was just sitting on her sweater lol.

The Moment Of Truth 

- During cheer practice, Kate confronts Claire and challenges her to a cheer competition, to which she agrees to do. Kate goes first and she does amazingly well. But I can’t help but notice that it’s clearly a stunt double in Kate/Ashlie’s place lol.

Kate ends her routine with an aerial cartwheel and that amazes everyone in the audience, including Lizzie, Gordo and Miranda. 

- Claire’s up next and...

She does an EPIC FAIL. The sound effects made it even funnier. Poor thing ended up hurting her wrist. But that’s karma for ya Claire. 

- And just like that, Kate regains her status as head cheerleader with Claire being down for the count. 

- Fast forward a few days later, Claire is seen with an arm sling and she’s seen eating lunch alone (as deserved btw). Kate sees her and walks up to her, with Lizzie, Miranda and Gordo thinking she’s probably going to make fun of her. 

- But look at this! Kate is actually being nice to her and is welcoming Claire to sit with them despite having fractured her wrist. She’s trying to set a new precedent by not treating her friends like dirt, unlike Claire and I’m so here for that. 

B-Plot: Matt and the Doorbell 

This is honestly really adorable lol

- Matt reveals to his parents that he will be starring in his school’s play this year but he will only have one line to say, which is probably Matt’s most iconic line from the entire show and that is “Ah, the doorbell. I’ll get that”. Despite this, Matt thinks he is a big star of the play and without him, the play would be ruined.

- I think Lanny doesn’t seem to be down with Matt’s diva or should I say divo behavior. But at least he’s showing his support and helping him run through his one and only line lol. 

- Gradually, throughout the episode, Matt’s behavior stars to get out of hand (as usual); First, he demands his mom, Jo to remove the chocolate chips from the trail mix she prepared for him and later, he asks her to turn down the lights in the living room for him. He’s even starting to boss Lanny around. 

- It’s actually gotten so bad that both Jo and Sam are willing to ground him after the play for treating the people around him like dirt. After hearing about the news of his grounding, Matt gets upset to the point where he loses his voice from trying to talk back to them. And just like that, they decide to retract his sentencing because losing his voice is good enough punishment. Umm, shouldn’t they be more concerned about his health though lol? 

- Anyways, towards the end of the episode, Matt is bed-ridden and he also apologizes to his mom and Lanny for being a jerk to them. Because Matt isn’t able to do the play anymore, Lanny volunteers to take his place. I wonder how he’s going to say the line since we NEVER hear him speak. Lol! I guess that’s the joke huh?

Overall Thoughts

- It’s pretty clear that the A-plot and the B-plot of this episode both share the same lesson of learning how to not treat your friends like dirt with Matt apologizing to his mom and Lanny for his diva behavior and with Kate learning not to treat people badly despite having been treated badly herself by those same people.

- This episode definitely has elements of the season 1 episode, “Lizzie and Kate’s Excellent Adventure” where we see Lizzie and Kate getting along well. I just wish that this episode ended with them actually becoming friends again because clearly, they were always meant to be friends. Like, they seriously need to stop playing it up in public that they dislike each other. That smile they gave each other in the end was all the hint they needed in order to realize that them hating on each other is stupid. And with Claire, I just hope she learned her lesson and realizes that Kate is a true friend. This episode also makes me realize that she is such a bad influence on Kate. Hopefully things will change with Claire. 

- Matt’s storyline was pretty decent actually; It really shows me that he can take responsibility and apologize to the people he’s offended. His scenes didn’t distract me from the main plot and I hope it continues this way in the episodes to come.

[darkpoisonouslove]

Winx Club Season 2 Thoughts (4kids) Part 1

I already posted some thoughts on season 2 last year when I legit just clicked through he episodes rather than actually rewatching them so I am back to give a more in-depth look on this season! (And, hopefully, it won’t end with disappointment for me.)

2x01:

- Eww, why voiceover? It just seems so unnatural since we’ve never had it before. Not to mention that Bloom told us what each of the other girls has done during the summer but she didn’t tell us anything about herself. Like, she set out to find out more about her origins back in the first half of season 1, and I know that she did learn about being the princess of Domino but she still has no fucking idea who her parents are as individuals apart from them being the rulers of Domino. Considering how big of a plot that is later on, it just doesn’t sit right with me that she doesn’t seem remotely interested in it currently and didn’t mention anything about it. It’s like that plotline is closed for her which we all know is not true. So I am having some issues here, not gonna lie (not with Bloom but with her inconsistent writing).

- Aww, am I the only one who thinks that Stella buried herself in fashion rules all summer because she didn’t want to think about her parents’ divorce? Poor baby has been going so hard with no rest to keep herself from grieving over it. But at least she did something! (Proving she’s not lazy and spoiled; she practically had a job. Her dream job. You go get it, girl! (but also take care of your mental state, please.))

- Why is Bloom so eager to learn her fortune? Has she not read Greek Mythology? Bad idea, hon. Bad idea. (The thing with the magical reality mirrors was cool, though!)

- (Is that a new secret library or is it the regular library? I’m confused. Does anybody have a handy layout of Alfea for me?)

- She just fucking told her everything! I’m not a fan of knowing your future tbh. It really messes with your head and you start thinking “Will my actions have a negative impact on it? Will I somehow change my own destiny for the worse?” and then you go and do exactly that. Not to mention that it would be so weird to stare at Layla and just feel the pressure of being told that you’ll be best friends. Like, what if it doesn’t work? And what if it is just the fact that you were told so that pushes you to seek the friendship of that person? I don’t know. It’s just not my thing.

- Layla is awesome, though! Climbing those rocks with no equipment, not to mention with so little power left. She probably couldn’t even transform and fly if she fell. That was dangerous but did she care? Nope. She was there to save the pixies! Brave little soldier. Too good, too pure for this world.

- Ugh, Darkar managed to annoy me with his very first sentence ever. Nice job. You are a loser, loser. So deal with it! God, how will I take all that narcissism for 25 more episodes? Oh god, oh no, please, no! Whyyyyyyyy?

- Ugh, Bloom, that diadem is doing the opposite of wonders for your hair, please! At least Stella had the common sense to remove it.

- Speaking of Stella, that moment with the multiplying beauty was so cute! I love how she complimented the others while complimenting herself! But guys (Stella & Bloom), you’re not discreet with the groping. Seriously.

- Oh, hey! Riven won! And Sky only came in third! Nice! But lbr here, Timmy is the real victor! The others came in on hoverbikes while he had an entire ship that he modified himself. I mean, idk about anyone else, but I would definitely go for the ship.

- Of course there’s Diaspro drama. God, can they not for literally five seconds? And also, “we’re just friends”? Wtf? Did you fall on your head this summer, Bloom? You were calling him your boyfriend last time I checked. And you were fawning over the romance in your future. Can you just drop the pretense already?

- Ooh, Layla is so smart! She managed to outsmart all the monsters and win even when she barely had any magic left! You go, you absolute badass!

- Did they even make any changes on that new wing at Alfea? I mean, besides the name.

2x02:

- How did Tecna know that Layla was the princess of Andros? Did she hack the interdimensional FBI system? Wtf.

- They could’ve showed some other things we hadn’t seen that Layla had to go through but, of course, why would they do that when they could just use the same footage and draw less animation, bruh?

- And we’re getting to the opposites. Right on schedule when the Shadow Phoenix has shown up. You gotta love how convenient those school lessons are (not to mention that Bloom suddenly started feeling her opposite out of nowhere. Nice!) At least we got a cool magical lesson. Though, idk how to feel about the ying-yang symbol. I mean, it is a perfect representation of what they’re talking about but kind of weird to see something so earthly in Alfea. Though, Earth did have magic so... Hmm. Okay, anyway. Moving on.

- Um, question, why do Stella and Layla not know each other? And in the first season Stella and Musa and Sky didn’t know each other even though they were all royalty (I am still unclear on whether Musa is a princess or not btw but anyway). Don’t they, like, have royal meetings with other kingdoms? (which they even did in season 5 when Domino was back. What, is Domino the center of the universe and they can’t function without it? I mean, come on!)

- The talk about love is getting on my nerves and I literally have “love” in my url and it is my fave word. So what is wrong with that? I do love that guard there. Heck, yeah, it’s a prison (it’s worse than that tbh). And the fact that they’re trying to make it out not to be is extremely fucked up and sickening if you ask me. Not to mention “You can force people to be happy. It just takes time.” I really hope whoever had the idea of that place (in-verse) is going to hell.

- They legit just kept recapping season 1 for a solid minute? Aaaaaaaand... SKIP.

- Can I say that a 30-page report is an actual living nightmare. Thanks.

- The girls are all friendly with Layla (well, outside of a slip-up or two). That’s cute. But where the hell is Tecna? Can the animators only animate five Winx girls at a time? What the hell, you guys?

- So the Pixie village is on Andros (if Layla found it accidentally. I don’t imagine she realm-hopped at will)? Why don’t I remember any of that? But hey, finally some flashbacks that we haven’t seen before!

- Oh, look! My guy Kerborg is here! (the only good part of this whole Darkar thing tbh)

- The Trix finally thought of trying to pretend to be happy in order to get out of there. Well, better late than never. Though, watching how it’s going I can understand why they didn’t try before that. It is, in fact, hopeless. (But at least Darcy is handling it! She always was a bit more controlled.)

- I am so majorly creeped out by Darkar. He just met them and he’s like “You belong to me! Mwahahahaha.” Ummmm? Can you calm down? But I loved Icy’s response. Though, it didn’t stick. And he’s at it again. Seriously, this is really giving me some major off vibes. He said they were going to be the queens of Shadowhaunt which, considering he’s the king, would imply they were his wives. Now there’s a mental image that I am not even going to let inside my head, thanks. Although, having in mind that he just kept buttering them up, I would say it was just him stroking their egos to get them to join him. Not to mention that his later treatment of them supports that theory. And of course, he had to test them first and see how they’d do.

2x03:

- Please, tell me that they’ll tell someone about the Pixies and won’t just go to Shadowhaunt on their own initiative.

- O!M!G! They actually told Faragonda! I can’t believe this! Finally doing something smart, I can’t! And of course she wasn’t going to just let them go. Though, did she really think they weren’t going to want to take the test?

- Shouldn’t Stella be weakened by the darkness of Shadowhaunt? I kinda wish she’d stayed at Alfea if that would’ve spared us from the arc that is coming. (Why?)

- Okay, but it was kind of rude of Layla to just overtake Riven’s hoverbike like that. I wouldn’t appreciate it if I had to give someone a ride and they shoved me out of the driver’s seat and occupied my car, thank you. I’m surprised Riven agreed to let her drive.

- I don’t really have much to say about this episode tbh.

- It was cute that Stella jumped off the cliff for Brandon but it was not the smartest course of action. It probably would’ve been easier for him to save himself if he was alone and they may not have ended up being brought to Amentia. God, I hate this. I don’t want to be bitching about this every other sentence so just know that I absolutely despise this arc from the very bottom of my heart and that will never change.

2x04:

- They have no powers and Darkar knows they’re there. Sounds like a great situation, doesn’t it?

- That amazing moment when you either have to marry a person you’ve just met or watch the one you love die and then be forced to get married anyway. You gotta love that! I hate this so much! (And this is different from my previous point. Or at least has a different angle.)

- Wow, Riven is absolutely handling being a boyfriend. Somebody get him a manual, the man is failing spectacularly.

- I am not quite a fan of Flora’s “Must be nice to have a shoulder to cry on”. Like, you have your friends???? No, I get that she wants a boyfriend, nothing wrong with that, but it came out like she has nobody. Which is absolutely not true.

- What a lucky save that Stella just arrived when they were about to become toast. Can anyone tell me why she didn’t just teleport them where the Pixies are? Or anywhere closer to them if she could do that all along?

- Am I distracted or is there nothing to talk about in these episodes? (Both. It is both.)

2x05:

- Seriously, why didn’t they at least mention the option to teleport using that gadget from the beginning?

- Aww, Brandon was trying to be noble and get out of the marriage but it backfired. Poor him.

- Why are the Pixies bickering like that? Is it Shadowhaunt’s influence or just the fact that they’d been imprisoned together for so long?

- Wait, did they just... kill a pixie? (Off screen of course, but still. Damn!)

- So Bloom and Stella did... interestingly with the boarding.

- Why is Stella afraid of heights? Also, that’s never been mentioned before. Especially not when she jumped off a fucking cliff! Wtf. They just keep throwing in new stuff without setting it up properly and I am getting annoyed.

- What happened to Tecna’s computer?

- Oh, look! Chatta lied to Darkar to protect Pixie Village.

- It’s the Trix! Finally some action! And they are harder to defeat now that they’re stronger! Nice!

- Damn! Layla was really determined to get the Pixies out of there. (Which wouldn’t have helped if Darkar hadn’t let her but she still gets points for trying.)

- Oh come on! Do I really have to deal with fake Avalon so early in the season?!?!?! Dammit! Also, wtf is up with Bloom and Stella? Like, you both have boyfriends. At least Layla’s not affected.

- “Stella returned a compliment. What is that about?” XDDD One of the funniest lines ever! And look at Amore! She is so cute!

2x06:

- But yeah, seriously, just go get Brandon, please! (Also, good that they noticed something’s fishy.)

- Aww, Stella is absolutely furious and determined to get her boyfriend back. She should’ve gone for a plan tbh since it could’ve helped them get to the palace faster.

- I love how Stella’s known Layla for a week (half of which Layla was unconscious) tops and is already making her her bridesmaid. Am I the only one who finds this weird? Like, this friendship train is moving way too fast for my trust issues.

- Poor Brandon. She’s going to stretch him, wtf? These episodes are a horror show.

- How bad can a guard worm be? Hm, gee, I don’t know, Layla. Enough to stop you perhaps since it is a “guard”, y’know.

- And Brandon is talking to a parrot now. I am losing it just like he is. How much longer will this torture go on? Please, tell me this arc is coming to an end.

- Okay, so the plotline with Amore’s magic is less problematic than I remember it. I thought she was going to make Amentia fall in love with the flower pollen but it only leads you to your soulmate. That isn’t problematic, actually. Nice!

- Wtf do you mean they’re going to eat Brandon if he’s not a good husband?!?!?! I am getting nightmares over here. Just feeling them forming in my head. Thanks.

- It must be horrible for Stella to be standing there and watching her boyfriend being forced to marry another woman. How are these people not psychologically scarred anyway?

- Aww, they’re back together! I love how Amore is just sitting in Stella’s lap! It’s cute.

2x07:

- I was not ready for the Kiko angst even though I knew it was coming.

- Faragonda really thought she could just dodge that question without them noticing, huh? Yeah, well, no.

- Oh, look! The Shadow Fire is sentient. This reminds me of LotR tbh but anyway, moving on. So Darkar is a man who is possessed by the Shadow Fire? I so did not remember that.

- Oh, no! Is it really time for Avalon already? Dammit! I was just getting thrilled there was no Darkar in these last two episodes and now I get Avalon. Uggggh.

- I get Bloom’s annoyance with this but why does she keep blasting it when that obviously doesn’t give results?!?!?! This reminds me of that quote by Einstein that madness is doing the same thing and expecting different results. “I feel tired.” You think? You’ve been out there blasting that thing for hours. Get inside and get warmed up, oh my god! Seriously, how are they even alive? They don’t take care of themselves at all.

- This might be my more advanced knowledge of what the future holds for them speaking but I absolutely do not get what is Avalon’s appeal.

- Oh, how convenient. He’s teaching magic connected to their origins. Amazing.

- “I don’t want to seem obsessive” *proceeds to spy on girlfriend* At least the show is framing it well.

2x08:

- Ugh, I really hate these Bloom and Avalon scenes. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.

- Ugh, I’m gagging at Bloom’s obsession with Avalon. I get he promised to help her learn about her origins but she’s downright lovesick. I am so with Sky on this and I understand his frustration.

- Aww, Brandon immediately revealed his own nickname to help Stella calm down. That was so cute! I love them!

- I love how the fairies are always invited, of course, but the witches are only invited because they helped. I mean, yeah, they do cause trouble, but like, they’re witches? I think the show should have done a better job at specifying what exactly being a witch is because currently it’s like “hey, they’re evil but they can legally learn how to be evil in the legitimate school for witches!” How does that make any sense?

- Ewww, seriously? On the one front I have Bloom and Avalon and on the other Icy and Darkar. What is wrong with this season?

- Oh, hey! It’s Helia! Now only if we didn’t have to wait half a season for Flora to confess her feelings, that would be great! I love how she got mad at Stella for introducing herself to Helia. Don’t just glare there, Flora. Do something about it! (About Helia, I mean.)

- So Saladin is also a dramatic bitch. Good to know. XD But hey, the new Red Fountain looks so much better. Before I started the rewatch, I didn’t even remember the initial vision. I only remembered the one from season 2 onwards.

- Poor Timmy! But what was Tecna’s problem? Like, you dreamed of him. That’s cool. I mean, you like him. What’s the problem? I guess she’s just not used to emotions like that, though.

- “I think it was Darcy” Jeez, really? Why is the fact that she ran away not enough proof that it was Darcy? Why would she run away if she was just a random girl? But I guess it’s a good thing Musa recognized her voice because people can actually do that unlike what movies would have you believe.

- It’s Kerborg time. Nice!

- Oh, yeah, “let’s leave Bloom and Sky in charge here”. Now you trust her. Last time she was there he blamed everything on her but hey, whatever.

- I loved Sky being supportive of Brandon and then the team up with all the rest. And Riven showing a better side of himself. That was really awesome.

- Oh, I think Helia’s got his eye on a certain fairy too! ;)

- But seriously. Literally an entire army of Specialists can’t hold the monster down while Helia did it on his own. With his glove. Wtf?!?!?!?! Though really, why am I expecting anything to make sense at this point.

2x09:

- Okay, but as annoying as Darkar is, he at least knows how to steer the witches to do exactly what he wants.

- Really, Tecna, I think your facts are wrong. You aren’t completely grown up at 16, wtf.

- Who else is completely creeped out by Avalon? He really just gave all of his very female and very young students flowers. And he’s teaching them all individual things (which is just a cover so that his interest in Bloom doesn’t stand out, of course, but still). He knows they are all crushing on him and he’s exploiting that and doing his best to lead them on and reinforce those emotions. That is absolutely disgusting, thank you.

- Seriously, even Faragonda is falling victim to his “charm” (not)? I can’t with this episode anymore and it has just started. And here I thought Darkar would be the problem of this season. How was I so wrong????????

- Oh, he wants them to trust him as much as they trust themselves? How about they throw you off a cliff instead? Oh, wait, that won’t work because he has wings. Crush him with a boulder then? (This is getting very anti Avalon and I am so sorry for all the negativity but I don’t think I can stress enough how much this is upsetting and angering me.)

- Why do I feel like Avalon is the one who planted the book there so that Tecna could do all of that and embarrass herself so that she wouldn’t try it again and he could proceed with his real plans?

- Well, we finally got Bloom’s parents’ names and a very unclear peek at them. Though, props for having their designs figured out from the beginning, though I guess that is just thanks to the comics.

- Oh, hey! Palladium is back. (Why is no one crushing on him? He is so much better and more handsome than Avalon tbh.) Glow up time, bitches. XD

- Amaryl is being Amaryl, of course. But Palladium is having none of it anymore. And he saved Stella. Nice!

- The others trust Tecna, that’s great!

- (Honestly, Griffin is the only thing saving me from losing my mind in this episode tbh, Also the fact that she believes Tecna and that Tecna was suspicious enough to dig in the first place. At least someone hasn’t lost their common sense.)

- Oh, hey, how did Bloom get that medallion? Did she pull it out of the past? Pls, tell me that’s not what happened. It can legit mess the entire timeline.

- Wait, didn’t they start chasing him before midnight? Why is it suddenly morning? Wtf? You can’t tell me they chased him all night. Why is everything so wrong?

- Poor Wizgiz! Another invention is destroyed. I feel his pain.

- At least all parts of the episode came together nicely. The writing was actually good but I absolutely hate this episode, thanks! I still appreciate the effort with the script, though.

2x10:

- Seriously, why did Bloom instantly decide that Diaspro was involved in this? Ugh. Both she and Sky need to calm down with the jealousy.

- Omg, Griselda is so savage, I can’t! Her magic is so awesome. (Since when is Stella up for cooking? Or was it just because she wanted to see the cute guy that would teach them cooking? Ah, and she’s tired of take out.) I really loved how she used different methods to deal with the different powers of the fairies. Finally we’re getting all the magical lessons and it is absolutely glorious.

- (Btw, seeing Stella openly critique classes schedule makes it clear to me why she’s always been my favorite. That is such a me thing to do. I still can’t understand how teachers liked me since I was always arguing with them.)

- Of course. Sky wants to talk and Bloom immediately decided he wanted to break up with her. Why don’t you hear him out first maybe? (Sidenote: Stella and Brandon went on a date with unicorns? That is really cute!)

- Brandon is in his role of the wingman again. Considering he’s the only one having a steady girlfriend (and they’ve said “I love you” already), the rest should just listen to him.

- Mayhem globe? That’s really cool actually.

- Helia is here. Nice!

- Poor Stormy. She looked really hurt. I thought Darcy was the one with the illusions and riddles. Why did she get it wrong and why was Icy the one to solve it (through a detail that not only has never been shown but has been pretty much disproven by what we’ve seen)?

- Yeah. Tecna and Timmy were also knocked out, Bloom. Just in case you care about that.

- Kindness spell? And non-agression spell? That’s kinda cool actually. But problematic... again.

- I am not quite sure what Bloom did but I am actually glad to see they went with a hug there (and it was cute). But how many times are they going to become a boyfriend and a girlfriend? I thought we were over this.

2x11:

- Brandon is at it again. A true specialist... in dating tips. XD

- Wow, Flora. Nice Helia spell you got there. (Btw I am so loving that we get to see them in different classes and learning things! Yes, this is what I’m here for!) But Layla was so ready to help! And I also love that Flora went to Layla instead of anyone else. It’s really cute that they got so close so fast. (”He’s crazy if he doesn’t like you.” Perhaps Layla is the one who likes Flora. XD)

- Shoulda listened to Brandon, Timmy. (But Tecna so boldly went for the “us”. You go, girl!)

- Idk but to me “The Archaic Spells of Spheria” doesn’t sound any good tbh.

- Of course Stella is all about the romantic movies. But poor pixies. They had to imprison them to save them.

- Why did all of the boys know about the Codex in the previous ep but the girls have no clue about it? Why is Faragonda keeping it from them if everyone at Red Fountain knows about it?

- What was Faragonda doing? And why did she make Bloom look for the spell? Couldn’t she do that herself? (Also, she just threw the book like that on the floor. I get why it prompted her derision but damn, really?)

2x12:

- Flora and Helia are such romantic dorks. And they’re bringing their A game there. Poems and flowers... A beautiful romance blooms. (I’ll stop now.)

- This convergence talk is giving me all the friendship feels. Not just for Winx but also for Faragonda and Griffin since they have been spotted doing convergence too. Ugh, my heart!

- Wow, Riven sure has a lot of pictures of Musa, considering the way he’s acting.

- “Kind of involved”? Mhm, sure.

- So I understand Musa’s frustration with Stella’s meddling but on the other hand I can see Stella’s point. I love Musa x Riven but Riven doesn’t seem exactly present and Musa herself stated that she’s not really sure what the status of their relationship is so...

- Okay, but there is no way in hell that it is Darcy’s birthday. It is fall currently and Darcy’s birthday is May 5 according to Wiki. So yeah, no.

- I am getting a bit sidetracked again but can we talk about the fact that Bloom and Stella couldn’t do convergence after a simple disagreement even though they’re together like 24/7 while Griffin and Faragonda managed to do it seamlessly at the end of season 1 after not speaking to each other for years and kind of getting into a fight the last time they spoke at the Day of the Royals. Friendship goals (well, besides the silent treatment.)

- Okay but I think it wasn’t right to blame Stella. She didn’t say anything that was inherently offensive. She suggested that they try to get closer. That isn’t bad even if it upsets someone indirectly. There was no need to blame her. They should’ve just focused on making Layla feel better.

- Why do I feel like none of them really had friends before they found each other? But hey, they are this big found family now and that is awesome! (I am getting all the feels again.)

- And Darcy is messing up the magical reality chamber again. Didn’t we do that already? Also, why didn’t they try to... idk, take precautions and put better security on it considering how dangerous it can be? Like, those are simple things. Please, be responsible.

- Better not play Truth or Dare with Stella. Unless you wanna be kissing ogres. XD

- That was a good save Layla pulled off there. Also, I love how the girls are mad at the “technical” issues. Tbh they are right to. How many times are they gonna get stuck in the wrong world when sent into the magical reality chamber? Like, get your shit together teachers. Also, why don’t they simply do a test run before they get anyone inside it? You’d think they’d learn their lesson.

- Damn, they can be deleted if the program is turned off? Why didn’t Darcy just have Jarred unplug it then? Winx are erased forever. Boom, problem solved. For the Trix, I mean.

- Aww, the pixies were ready to go in. That was cute.

- I LOVED that convergence! It was such a cool idea to have them make a figure. Also, they just created life. Damn! I am impressed.

2x13:

- Poor Layla. She has all those nightmares. But at least Piff helps! That’s really cute.

- I see Flora still hasn’t solved the Helia problem yet.

- They just ditched school to go to a club. What chaotic dumbass energy, I can’t.

- Aww, Layla is sharing about her harsh childhood. At least she has friends she can talk to now. But damn the difference between Andros and Solaria is very striking in scenes like that.

- Layla totally nailed that improv. Nice, you go, girl!

- I love the difference between Griselda and Faragonda! XD

- I loved that convo between Bloom and Vanessa! Yes, thank you for that. I am a little confused as to when Bloom learned Daphne was her sister. Did I miss something or did the writers miss something? But aww, Vanessa can’t see Locket. That’s making me sad. :(

- They did go to the club, though, huh? Nice one, you guys.

- How will Faragonda learn if they use magic on humans but not otherwise? That doesn’t sound very logical to me. (Speaking of logic, where is Tecna? They didn’t show her in this ep.)

- Oh, no! Poor Layla. But damn, she’s powerful. And the others are there to help her. (The pixies can cause so much trouble considering how small they are.)

- I love how Faragonda and Griselda just showed up to get them. It was cute. Though, now they’re being punished. Well, technically, Bloom didn’t break any rules because she had permission to leave but I guess she’s also in this because she shouldn’t have taken the others with her. (Cheeky to welcome Faragonda and Griselda to Earth.) At least Faragonda managed to get them the permission for music back from Griselda. XD

- Aww, babies! They are so tired from cleaning the whole school, they fell asleep. And the pixies helped, too.

- I’m not sure how Flora got that Helia is “the one” from talking to him for half a minute, but damn, wanna share those powers with the rest of us so that we can know immediately when we’ve met the one as well? (It was so cute to see Flora lean on Layla to sleep with her. And Piff, too. If she weren’t just talking about Helia, they would’ve been like a picture perfect family.)

This got very long so I decided to split the post for this season in parts. Part 2.

[comradesummers]

3, 17, 27?

Hi, thank you for asking!

Top 5 underrated TV shows

Idk what really qualifies as underrated, but I’ll try my best.

1. Legends of Tomorrow

Like, outside of the cult following, people don’t give it credit for being one of the most creative and batshit crazy shows on TV. I think what really gets missed in the conversation about Legends, even when the show is brought up, is that it’s not just a weird, kooky show. I genuinely believe LoT is doing something that no other show on TV is doing rn. Like it may be silly, and not take itself too seriously, but it’s actually super creative, it tries new things, it takes risks that shows that take themselves more seriously don’t have the luxury of taking. It’s out there doing something genuinely different from the regular serialized drama format that’s overtaking television, and that’s unique and important and we should appreciate it more.  

2. Every show for or about women that’s ever been referred to as a “guilty pleasure” by men, including but not limited to: BtVS, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Jane the Virgin, Sex and the City (I haven’t even seen it, but I know that it changed television as we know it, and men still dismiss it as meaningless fluff), Gilmore Girls, and too many other shows to list here. All of them are underrated by assholes who think they’re too good for girl things.

3. Blackadder

Y’know, the concept of something being underrated is super weird, because like the question becomes: underrated by who? I mean, if you’re in the know about British comedies or whatever, then of course you know that Blackadder is one of the funniest and most innovative shows ever. But with everyone else I’ve talked to in real life, I’ve had to explain that Mr. Bean and Dr. House dress up in period costumes, and hang out with different important historical figures in British history, and it’s really funny and great (except for maybe the first season).  

4. Don’t Trust the B in Apartment 23

And then on the other hand, I’m pretty sure a lot of people on Tumblr know what this show is, and know it’s hilarious, but I would still probably consider it underrated and pretty unknown outside of certain circles.

5. Sense8

Again, I’m not sure it’s underrated on Tumblr but more people need to see it, so I’m counting it. I like Sense8 for the same reason I like Legends: it took risks, and did things other shows weren’t doing, albeit on a much larger and more unruly budget, which is probably why it got cancelled. But it really was a great, if short lived show, and I wish it had gone on for longer.

Top 5 “deserved better” characters

1. Kendra Young

Yeah, so I think there are two reasons that Kendra’s death makes me so angry. The first being just how much potential was wasted with her death. Yeah, they made her do a goofy accent, but she was still a really interesting character. Her worldview was completely entrenched in that of the Council. She was raised by them, and had never rebelled like Giles had. She would have made an amazing contrast to Buffy and the gang, but I also think there’s a really great story there about her coming to terms with just how exploited by those assholes she had been. Also, her dynamic with Buffy was already fascinating, and I think they had really good chemistry (I ship it).

The other reason her death makes me so angry is that she is the most obvious example of the horrendous treatment of people of color on BtVS. It really is unacceptable how white that show is, and once the writers finally did create an interesting and powerful (if admittedly pretty stereotypical) woman of color, they killed her off after three episodes. Kendra deserved better just like every other non-white character on BtVS deserved better.

2. Meg Manning and Paker Lee

(Yeah, I’m cheating, it’s a tie.) So one of the main issues that I have with Veronica Mars is that there just aren’t that many women on the show. With the exception of Veronica herself, most of the main characters are men, and most of Veronica’s important relationships, be they romantic, familial, or platonic, are with men.

The female characters we do have either have very little screentime, in spite of their considerable awesomeness (Mac and Jackie). Or, in the case of Meg and Parker, are used and disposed of according to the needs of the plot, often to create drama in Veronica’s love life. Meg surviving the bus crash, only to be killed off once she’d given birth, basically because she was no longer relevant to the Duncan/Veronica story is super icky and gross. And Parker getting dismissed as nothing more than road bump in LoVe’s story by both the show and the fandom drives me a little crazy, especially considering how she was introduced to the show.

Also, while we’re at it, every single ‘feminist’ character in season 3 deserved better from Rob Thomas.

3. Tara Maclay

She deserved to live, and we the viewers deserved better than Bury Your Gays.

4. Martha Jones

I mean, Martha Jones deserved better from the fandom more than anything else. And I’m adding her to the list because I’m one of the many people who owes Martha and Freema Agyeman an apology. I was like 12 when I watched Doctor Who for the first time, and I totally bought into the racist sexist bullshit (she’s boring, why is she in love with the Doctor, etc.). To be fair, I also bought into a lot of sexist bullshit when it came to Rose, so I hated her too, but obviously Martha got the shorter end of the stick, because of racism, and she deserved so, so much better.

5. Donna Noble

Fuck the amnesia bullshit and erasing her character development. Why did they have to do this to her? What possible purpose did it serve? Why not just give her a reason to leave and go home like every other companion? Wtf was the point? Was it just so that the doctor would have manpain about it?

Nevermind, I think I just answered my own question.

Top 5 brotps

Ok, not including any relationships I view as purely familial (Dawn and Buffy, Giles and Buffy, Tara and Dawn, Holt and anybody, etc.). Friendships only.

1. Buffy and Willow

Buffy and Willow love each other so much, and they hurt each other a lot too. This relationship isn’t simple and sweet, it starts out that way, but it becomes difficult, and they both do things to one another that I don’t think either one of them ever fully forgives the other for. But even still, at their worst, they love each other so deeply and so completely. This relationship is at the core of the show, I think. It’s arguably the first relationship the show establishes, and the one it spends most time on. The ups and downs are painful, but they feel real (even when they involve things like bringing someone back from the dead without their consent or whatever). And through it all, they never stop loving each other. As flawed as it may be, I think it’s also one of the most complex, interesting, and important relationships between two women ever on television. And that’s worth celebrating.

2. Jane and Petra

So I’ve been on a bit of a Jane the Virgin kick lately, and I’ll be honest, I can’t decide if this is a brotp or an otp. But I love Petramos too, so let’s go with brotp.

In any case, these two were pretty much my endgame for the show. I really didn’t care who Jane ended up with (unless it was Petra, but I knew that wasn’t going to happen), and I got sick of her love triangle real quick (to be fair, I just really can’t stand love triangles, which is why I didn’t give the show a shot for a long time). As for Petra, I just really wanted her to have a healthy relationship with someone, and Jane seemed to be the only person who seemed interested in having a healthy relationship with her.

Plus their dynamic is just amazing and hilarious. My favorite scenes in the show are always when they’re on screen together. The way they grudgingly grow to care about and love each other is genuinely sweet and well developed. And I love how even when they do become friends, their basic moral divide never changes. They still disagree very strongly about certain things, but they love each other regardless. And btw, the scene where they say “I love you” to each other for the first time might be my favorite “I love you” scene ever, platonic or otherwise.

I just love them so much.

3. Gurl Group (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend)

This is another show about romance where I’m far more invested in the female friendship than I am in any of the romances, but to be fair, I think CxG kind of wants you to do that anyway.

Regardless, I love everyone in this Gurl Group, individually and together. And their individual relationships are already fascinating. Like, Rebecca and Valencia’s frienship is pure enemies to lovers friends bliss and I love it. Rebecca and Paula’s relationship is the heart of the show, and like Buffy and Willow, this relationship is often difficult and complicated, but the love is always there. And we never had enough scenes of Heather and Valencia interacting. Every scene where they were together was pure comedic gold. And the group together as a whole was just so powerful and amazing to behold.

4. Amy and Rosa

They do not have enough scenes together. This relationship deserves the same amount of care and development as Jake and Charles get. Melissa and Stephanie have great chemistry. And like, their characters are so different, so the contrast is always so funny. But they also love each other, and support each other, and it’s so much fun to watch. I need 10000% more Amy/Rosa content.

5. Buffy and Veronica

This one’s probably also cheating because it’s a crossover and all, but I’m just kind of obsessed with the idea of them meeting, sparks flying, enemies to lovers friends, the works. They would just have such a fantastic dynamic. Like, think of all the verbal sparring that we would be blessed with. Think of all the drama and angst of them coming to understand and respect each other. If there is one crossover that I would will into existence if I could, it would definitely be this one.

[evilelitest2]

Just heard your Berserk Fatal Flaw. I agree with a lot of stuff but dude... I.. I don't know if I can follow you anymore seeing you chose to be so wrong about Casca. I need revalue everything you have said. Nah, just kidding, I love ya man. This really is the first time I'm seriously disagreed with you on something though. Not about the way she's been treated (I will add it's not JUST the rape that got to her state), but she is a complex, layered character. In my opinion.

First off, thanks a lot for listening to the Berserk review, I really appreciate it, and its fine if you disagree (nice joke btw). And thanks for asking the question politely (if people want to know what we are talking about, the podcast in question is here) Personally I think Caska has a great character design I love the way she looks especially compared to most anime women characters, (I actually designed a Casca look alike for a dark souls playthrough) and you are right it isn’t just the constant rape that makes her the way she is.  With all due respect I don’t really see the complexity of Casca (is it Casca or Caska?  I keep seeing alternative spellings), I mostly see people referencing complexity without really showing it.  For contrast, lets talk about a different abused character, Guts (Gatz...no i’m just kidding)

Gut’s life is also defined by traumatic events which shape his personality  To witAn unloved Childhood full of physical Abuse Killing his first man at a young ageBeing raped Finding out that his father figure sold him out Accidentally  being responsible for killing a Fairy child who wanted nothing but to help himSeeing his father figure break downFather Figure attempting to murder himMurdering the Father FigureBeing driven out by his surrogate family Period of LonlynessKilling a child who metaphorically was Guts Having his “best friend” (AND NOTHING ELSE) betray him after Guts was nothing but faithful, murder all of their companions by leating them get tortured and eaten by demons, and seeing the women he loves get raped in front of him while having his arm and eye removed and left totally helplessMeeting Puck 

(This manga is weird) 

Every one of these is a horrifically traumatizing event but each one actually tells us something different about Guts, he isn’t just “Traumitized” each one of them informs us about a specific aspect about his personality.  To wit, his abusive unloving and neglectful father fiture who showed just enough affection for Guts to latch unto means that Guts is also defined by his desperate need for affection and love.  Guts really craves friendship and equal relationships and at his heart is a bit of a people pleaser.  However because his father figure then betrayed him in the worse possible way, he associates that aforementioned desire for love to be a weakness unto itself, and he has thoroughly internalized the notion that being weak is a crime and not only hopes never to be weak, but is constantly beating himself up for “being weak”.  

(pictured, hetrosexuality) 

The irony of the strongest man in the world is torturing himself for “being weak” is the core of the story.  Because he is obsessed with always being strong, he doesn’t allow himself access to feelings he really wants to experience, like friendship, attraction to Casca....attraction to Griffith (This story is so fucking gay) and basically tries to avoid dealing with feelings through the very popular use of horrific violence, which doesn’t work, so he keeps trying to have more violence the cycle continues.  His attempt to go be by himself is an important part of his heeling process, because he is learning to actually define himself by himself, not just as a giant mass of muscles with a sword.  He hasn’t really thought of himself as a person until he joins Griffith’s band, and hasn’t thought of himself as “the bad guy” until he killed a child and was like “um.....wait.....I’m the victim here.....fuck”

And that is what separates Guts from Griffith, he ultimately does accept blame for his actions.

(pictured, character growth) 

So each traumatic event informs Guts as a person, and they all tie into the larger theme of Machismo  What is interesting about Berserk is that it is actually about toxic masculinity, both Guts and Griffith are people who are super macho and are extremely unhealthy in how they approach masculinity.  In fact what they have in common is that neither one of them is actually happy with the coarse they are pursuing, but they keep doing that because to do otherwise would make them feel weak.  Griffith wants to have a castle....kinda of for its own sake, it is not like he has any political ambitions or dreams, he doesn't have reforms he wants to initiate, he just wants a castle because he made a goal when he was 7 and has a really hard time changing direction.  Meanwhile Guts keeps pushing everybody away from him and all he wants is some sort of support unit.  Hence why the manga is named after a Suit of armor that tears you apart as you murder people

I..don’t get this from Casca.  Maybe i’m not paying attention enough and i’m missing it, but it feels like each traumatic event leaves her kind of the same until she suddenly losses her personality (I haven’t read the latest chapters yet so maybe she has had her personality restored).  Each cycle of trauma seems to leave her just....kinda of the same

(I do like this scene though) 

So young Casca we see in the flashback is just kinda...demure.  Then Griffith makes her kill a guy (like a dick) and from that point on we see somebody who is controlling, obsessive, tense and hostile towards everybody but Griffith.  And that is...kinda it.  LIke I don’t really see how she changes internally and I don’t see how we go from that to “becomes a child”  Why does Casa become a child rather than Guts?  

My issue with Casca is that we are always viewing her from outside and she is defined by her relationship with the characters rather than with herself.  Guts and Griffith both have scenes where the narrative gets us to see what they are thinking internally but beyond one or two exceptions, Casca always seems like a character who exists as a satellite.  She bounces between rape threat and rape threat and never seems to be able to come into her own.  The scene taht upset me the most with Casca was the Eclipse, because while Juddeau and Pippin and even fucking Corkus got there own special moment where they either fought a bunch of demons or died in a specific way, Casca, the best fighter other than Guts, goes down without killing a single demon.  Her last big fight was against the comedy relief villain.  And in a manga where the way people murder their fellow human beings is actually how they express there character that says a lot. I never actually see the complexity beyond the writing saying that she is complicated, just like she is built up to be a great fighter but never seems to do much. 

(I kinda wish we had gotten to see more of this rather than just skipping it over)

The only time where I kinda liked Casca was the bit between her hooking up with Guts and the Esclipse, ecause then she and Guts were in a relationship and actually got out of their shells a little bit, and its the first time we see them actually show more of their humanity.  

(I also like this scene) 

Just to be clear, you aren’t wrong for liking the character, even if we can prove taht Casca is objectively a bad character, you aren’t wrong for liking her.  The Strength of the art design and the way she is built up means that it makes sense if you like her, I just kinda feel like the narrative doesn’t, and the beset version of Casca i tend to see are the ones fans imagine rather than the one which is written.  Epsicailly because she is one of the very few female POCs in anime/manga who isn’t racist or offensive in regards to race.  

(.....wtf)