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nekohime19 · 2 months

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Macaque study # S3

Sooo Macaque in s2 showed us potential for redemption but again, potential remains wasted without action!

For now I like to think as Macaque evolution in LMK like this :

Macaque S1 : Full fledged villain with some obscured lore. 😈

Macaque S2 : villain but a bit nuanced and maybe a potential for more. 😡

We'll see how S3 handles this evolution and where Macaque is after it.

LMK season 3 is really the payoff of the two previous seasons. While still appearing episodic we actually delve into the main plot that has been brewing since LBD first appeared. Macaque, my main focus here, is also more present in the continuity of the season than in the previous seasons. He appears more frequently and I think what is important is that each of his appearances gives us a new layer to his character.

S3 ep1

Macaque appears in the middle of the episode to attack the team while they're fleeing on the airship. He's actually the first person to attack them after the whole LBD fiasco and it's probably why the team, at first, thinks it's LBD that is attacking them. The colors are also very bluish and turn from dawn-like yellow colors to cold-night blue very quickly the second Macaque starts to attack. I think the predominance of the blue at the start of the attack can be a reminder of LBD and her overwhelming presence on both the team and Macaque himself.

The colors change to purple (Macaque's own colors) when Macaque leaves his airship and jumps on the team's airship. Perhaps because Macaque feels more in control at this very moment.

I think what is important in this scene is the banter between Wukong and Macaque which reveals exactly what makes the two monkeys tick and where they stand exactly. We know the two monkeys know how to hurt the other, so we have to see everything they say as a form of personal spite tailored to annoy the other. It's also very interesting how Macaque reacts and how he tries to be in control of the situation.

Also it's just funny how the whole team think LBD is attacking and then they hear :

Macaque : OOOOOH WUKONG!

And they're like : Oh nvm it's Macaque.

The first exchange goes like this :

Wukong : Oh that's a relief, I thought it was someone important.

Macaque : ah, always the comedian, huh. Hey, kiddo, you miss me?

We know Macaque struggles a lot with self-worth and abandonment, especially after analyzing the shadow play. Macaque felt like he was cast away by Wukong, left in the shadows. Wukong knows it, perhaps that's why his immediate answer to hurt Macaque (while still adopting a very laid-back attitude, Wukong tends to use jokes to diffuse and control the situation) is to joke about how Macaque is unimportant.

In response, Macaque calls Wukong a “comedian”, which I think is an insult of Wukong's jokester attitude and how he never takes anything seriously. It's highly probable that Macaque knows Wukong's coping mechanism considering they were very close in their youth, so the fact he still calls out Wukong on his not-so-healthy way of handling any stressful situations might be even more hurtful for Wukong. But Macaque changes the subject afterwards to MK. Perhaps because he doesn't want Wukong to elaborate on Macaque being unimportant or simply because he's focusing on the two targets set by LBD.

The second exchange :

Macaque : ooooh, looking a lil bit banged there Monkey King. The kid too. Looks like our old friend the Lady Bone Demon really did a number on you guys.

Wukong : So what, you're her puppet now? I mean, makes sense you did always have a sidekick kinda vibe.

Again, Macaque uses Wukong's title as some form of insult, the fact he's insisting on the title specifically while also calling out Wukong's injuries might just be a way to hurt Wukong pride as the Monkey King and rile him up. Qualifying LBD as “our old friend” is also very sarcastic. In a way he's calling out how LBD is Wukong's old enemy and so, in a sense, trying to hurt Wukong by guilting him.

In response, Wukong keeps tapping into Macaque's insecurity of being a “shadow” but this time he goes as far as to call him a “puppet” and even a “sidekick”. Macaque is visibly upset by this, he leaps out of his airship and crashes into Wukong to shut him up. But the second he had Wukong pinned on the airship he smiles again, as if trying to regain control of the situation, and resume the banter.

Macaque : eh, You know me. There is a new player in town just feeling out which one is the winning side.

This line will be very important in the later episodes of s3. While it might not seem like much right now, it's important to notice that Macaque doesn't include himself on LBD’s team. Instead he qualifies her as a “player” and justify his actions (him doing her bidding) by saying he's “feeling out the winning side”. This means Macaque hadn't decided which is the winning side yet and this is an important factor to take note of to understand what happens in the later episodes of the season.

Of course, Macaque strategy after jumping on the airship is to separate both MK and Wukong and put some distance between them. But it's interesting to notice that instead of taking them both directly in his airship, he takes the time to address his mission and to belittle them. Of course, I do think this line serves as exposition for the audience as for why Macaque is attacking the team, but I do think it's also a way for Macaque to assert his dominance and try to be in control.

Macaque : the two of you are such a mess, can't imagine why the LBD wants me to bring you back. Look at you, you're all used up.

In the previous seasons Macaque was rarely frowning, he did at some points but, at least when he was fighting, he always put on a fanged smile. But in the beginning of this season Macaque slips up a lot more, his face switches between frowns and smiles. It can be an indicator about how the stress he's put under by LBD is affecting him and makes him more nervous, making his mask of nonchalance crack a lot more. Someone did point out in the comment of my last study that Macaque in general smile to be more threatening and I wholeheartedly agree with this. Macaque “smile” is a way for him to mask how he truly feels and appear more intimidating. We can link this to monkey's behavior (macaques’ in particular) who hiss/smile each time they feel threatened to intimidate their opponents.

If we take this into account, him trying to belittle MK and Wukong and put them down might be a form of reassurance for him, it would explain why he's stalling here instead of directly bringing them to his airship and be done with it.

The last bit of the scene is also very interesting because it really shows Macaque's habit of using quips and belittlement as a way to be in control of the situation and to hide his discomfort.

When Mei attacks Macaque we can clearly see his nervousness despite his smile because of the sweat on his face :

And what does he do after this attack? Immediate sarcastic insults :

Macaque : ah you must be the dragon girl I hear so little about. Lil girl you can shoot me all you want it won't do you any good.

Macaque sarcastic quips and comments are a response to any threats around him. This will be shown many times in this particular season and I think it's very important to notice it. Because he will stop being so sarcastic and smiling so much in later seasons.

S3 ep2

Macaque's appearance in the second episode of the season is very brief and he only attacks Ao Guang. His only purpose here is to be the threat the team had to flee from, he doesn't show much. I was kinda surprised to see him use his shadow staff, one of the rare occasions he does, and I might think it's because he sees Ao Guang as a real threat.

Of course this apparition is meant to establish Macaque as a recurrent villain. He was not defeated after ep1. It put an expectation in the viewer mind that Macaque will reappear a lot afterward and he's not just a one episode villain.

[This is an apparté but Macaque doens't attack Ao Guang because he feel like it. I've seen this misconception of this scene a number of times and I would like to clarify that Macaque is under LBD order here. LBD issued her order before s3 ep1 and gave Macaque the compass to track down MK and Wukong. Here, Macaque objective is to bring back MK and Wukong to LBD. Ao Guang knows Macaque is on the enemy side, and MK and Wukong are leaving. So of course Macaque is not going to pretend and try to befriend Ao Guang. He has to act fast to catch the escaping team. He doesn't have the time to be buddy-buddy with Ao Guang. My guys, Macaque doesn't attack random city in his free time bc he feels like it 😅.]

What I think is an interesting detail and something we see a lot in this particular season is the way Macaque's eyes shines with his powers :

He never truly did this in the previous seasons while it happens a lot in this particular one. The only difference between Macaque this season and the previous seasons is the stress he's put under because of LBD. Makes you wonder if Macaque mental stability influences his powers (either it emphasizes them or takes a hold over him). It could also be simply a way for Macaque to appear more threatening and hide the pressures he's putting under.

In any case, LMK doesn't really have a defined magic system so the intricacies of how spells and magic work are a bit lost on us. Macaque's powers however are the most mysterious out of all the cast's because it does not stem from JTTW. I'll come back to that in season 5 because a bit more is revealed about Macaque's powers in it.

S3 ep4

In this episode Macaque appears two times, once at the very beginning and another just after the first half. The episode immediately focuses on Macaque, with the first minutes being of him alone in the desert with the wreckage of his airship, so we can easily assume this takes place right after he was ejected from the team's airship in the first episode of the season.

We can also already tell this episode will focus a lot on Macaque based on the title, “winning side”, which is a call back to Macaque words in episode 1. So we know this episode will be pivotal in our view of Macaque in this season.

It's actually the first time that we see Macaque when he's alone and with no one watching him, all his previous appearances were of him interacting with different people or simply fighting those people. And the first thing we notice in those few minutes of Macaque being alone and how he acts when alone is that he's not smiling, quite the contrary in fact he looks weary and very angry. When he looks at his reflection in the compass (which we don't even know what is yet at this point) it's the angriest expression we ever saw on his face, with his eyebrows twitching and his screams echoing in the background as he's reminded of a memory.

These brief minutes really prove everything we already established at the beginning of this study : Macaque nonchalant, almost sadistic attitude at times, is a show he puts on to appear more intimidating. Same can be said with his fanged smile. It's a way for him to regain control of stressful situations. Proof is, none of them appear when he's alone and thus not feeling threatened.

So just after this scene we dive into a memory of Macaque. Presumably the memory takes place just after LBD took over the city and the team escaped on their airship. Since Macaque appears on top of LBD's mech, which was created in season 2 ep 10, and the staff is within her grasp, I think it's a fair assumption.

Macaque's immediate reaction is to : first try to attack the not-mayor (the one who pushed him at LBD's feet via a portal, but the portal closes) then to notice the staff and immediately put on his usual smile :

Macaque : the staff, the city… You've been busy.

The fact the not-mayor had to bring Macaque already tells you Macaque is not very loyal to LBD to begin with, which is the continuation of what we saw in season 2 ep7 where the not-mayor strangled Macaque, a physical act of violence who tells you everything about the relationship beforehand.

The confrontation that follows between LBD and Macaque is the confirmation of all the assumptions we gathered. We even have a neat lil exposition about where Macaque stands in all this when LBD reminds him of his story and why he should be loyal to her.

It's interesting to see that Macaque tries his usual method of controlling the situation (quips, nonchalant attitude, fanged smiles) the way he does with MK and Wukong, but contrary to them LBD is not falling for it and doesn't let him take one breather.

LBD is also floating above him, which is already a physical representation of their relationship, they're not equals.

LBD : Tell me, what madness overcomes you that you would forsake your oath? When did you decide to betray me?

Macaque (trying to be nonchalant) : Listen Lady Bone De-

LBD : Have you forgotten who I am? What I am? I, who returned you to the mortal plane all in exchange for such a little favor that when the time came you would free me, aid in my pursuit, but no, with the first breath of a new life you rebelled against your claims.

The second Macaque tried to hide behind his mask of nonchalance LBD cuts him and reminds him of : 1 a very traumatic experience for him, 2 what she's capable of, 3 the fact he betrayed her and thus she has the right (in her mind) to punish him. I think the sentence “What I am” is probably the most threatening thing she could have said at this moment because it paints her in a very dehumanizing, almost monstrous, way, the use of “what” generally reserved for objects or creatures in this specific context. She doesn't even let him speak nor let him diffuse the situation, she cuts right to the facts to make Macaque uncomfortable, to make him submit to her. It's interesting to see how LBD talks and shifts the blame entirely on Macaque without any speck of empathy for his situation at the time. She uses the adjective “little” to qualify her favor as if to say what she demanded of Macaque wasn't much to begin with and that it was the least he could do after what she did for him. And then she uses the phrasing “rebelling against your claims” to put the blame entirely on Macaque, and how he's disloyal (even if I don't think their deal was fair to begin with. Macaque was in hell, dead, we don't know his mental state when LBD approached him but I warrant it wasn't good and he could have agreed to anything at this point). LBD makes herself the savior and victim in this scenario, the imagery when she evokes how she returned Macaque to the mortal plane paints her as a savior, she basks in white and floats above him while he kneels before her, his chains fading away, I think it's very telling of how she view her relationship with Macaque.

Macaque : You want something?

LBD : I have one more chance for redemption. Bring me the Monkey King and his protégée and perhaps you will be worthy of my mercy.

Macaque : Convenient, alrighty then, seems like they've got a bit of headway so-

The use of “redemption” in LBD speech is once again a way to justify her actions and puts the blame on Macaque, she also paints herself as merciful by letting him go. I think it's very ironic to talk about redemption at this moment with Macaque considering what will happen after and what Macaque true redemption will be like. For LBD, Macaque's redemption is for him to obey her orders and not fail, whereas for MK, Macaque's redemption is to give him the choice by reaching out to him and giving his hand. “Being worthy of mercy” is also such a weird phrasing, normally speaking mercy is something you grant to people you have the power to harm, it's a form of leniency, there is no concept of “worthiness” in it. What LBD offers is not mercy, really.

And then the moments Macaque tried to put on his mask of nonchalance again with the use of funny terms like “alrighty” LBD cut him, again, chains him and threatens him :

Macaque : What is this!?

LBD : a reminder. It seems you cannot be trusted to willingly follow the path of destiny. But know this, if you betray me again, one misstep, one mistake, and I'll erase the very memory of you. Now bring them to me, my champion.

The threat at this point is even more menacing than a simple death threat, especially for Macaque which had already been “forgotten”once by Wukong and, likely, is afraid of being again. LBD ends her speech with a mark of ownership on Macaque with the phrasing “my champion” which really tells you everything about how she treats Macaque, he's an object to her, a possession.

It's, I think, very ironical that in LBD first speech she paints herself as the savior that wiped away Macaque's chains (the image is literally of her breaking those chains) BUT she still puts different chains on Macaque, she didn't free him at all, she broke his chains to recreate them afterwards. And we can see that Macaque is not at all fooled by her hypocritical view of herself and that's perhaps why he casted away the skeleton key when LBD gave it to him.

There is an impossibility of speech between LBD and Macaque, she doesn't let him speak and keeps cutting him over and over again. It's very interesting to notice it because it is a perfect reflection of how LBD controls Macaque : she controls him through violence. Cutting someone so hard each time they try to speak is, in a sense, a form of verbal violence. And LBD is constantly trying to dominate Macaque through violence : When the not-mayor comes to Macaque in season 2 he strangles him, here LBD cuts him everytime he tries to speak, he's put in chains at the end of the scene and the not-mayor pushes his head on the ground while LBD floats above. She forces his loyalty through fear and violence, and that's why it'll never be genuine.

After this scene Macaque reappears after the first half of the episode. He creates a copy of the van to isolate one half of the team and thus have more chances of success in capturing MK. One thing which I think is a cool detail is that Macaque modus operandi is always about tricking and putting on a performance, a show. In season 1, Macaque staged the whole attack on the city with his shadow monster. In season 2, he makes himself appear as a human storyteller and here he's staging yet another performance by tricking half of the team with a perfect copy of their own van.

It shows how Macaque is a highly cautious individual who rarely if ever rushed into situations, especially into fights. Maybe that's one of the reasons why he's feeling even more pressured by LBD, he's on a time race because of her and thus has less and less time to put on performances.

Another detail which I think is important to notice is MK's frustration just before the “copied van” scene. MK tries hard to get his powers back but nothing seems to work and he's frustrated about it. He even qualified the only power he got back, gold vision, as a “baby power”. Macaque, once he appears, will directly challenge MK about this struggle.

Of course, the first thing that Macaque does is to seperates Mei and Sandy from MK, once again Macaque is cautious enough to not fight the three of them at the same time if he has the choice to not to. It's also incredibly funny that he imitates Mo's moews to lure Sandy away, it does show he has been observing the team very closely to know their behaviors. For Sandy Macaque's uses Mo, but for Mei he knows she'll never leave MK's side so he uses a more direct approach by separating her physically without even trying to lure her like he did with Sandy.

Once MK is alone Macaque traps him and ties him up with his shadows. I think the dialogue here is very important, especially between MK and Macaque because it does reveal a lot about Macaque himself and where he stands now.

Macaque : You really think you're gonna get away from me, bud? Aw, forget you lost your powers? Careful, you might hurt yourself!

On top of appearing particularly threatening he dug right into MK's insecurities that were exposed the scene before which is his lack of powers. It does make you wonder if he listened to MK raging about the loss of his power. In any case, he's clearly trying to provoke MK here.

MK : What do you-

Macaque : want? What are you doing? Come on kiddo, do I have to explain everything? I'm handing you over, to the lady Bone Demon.

Once again, Macaque is taunting and mocking MK, going as far as to have one of his shadows take MK appearances and imitate his voice with a very ridiculous high-pitch. Contrary to Wukong, MK doesn't answer any jabs with one of his own and remains level headed. Macaque in this episode is really laying on thick with the mocking and the taunting. While he was like that in previous episodes, it was more directed at Wukong specifically, but even then Macaque jabs were more subtle. Here, he's purposefully riling up MK as much as he can.

Macaque : Come on! Fight back. Maybe I'm not giving you the right motivation. Should I bring your big blue friend in here and smack him around? What about the girl? Gold vision? Really? Enough of these baby powers.

MK : stop talking!

Macaque : That's more like it!

In this sequence Macaque is really at his peak in terms of threatening. The glowing eyes that I noted in the previous episode appear a lot more here which creates really menacing shots and he directly makes threats to MK about the one thing Macaque knows MK values more than himself : his friends. We also have the confirmation that Macaque had indeed been listening to MK at the beginning of the episode because he uses the exact same phrasing MK used to describe gold vision which is “baby powers”. But this doesn't make sense. Macaque's goal here is to bring back MK to LBD so why is he trying so hard to rile up MK and make him fight back? Why is he making himself so threatening compared to his other appearances? While it's true that Macaque had always been one to rile up people, especially Wukong, we already established most of his sarcastic quips are a response to any perceived threats around him and a way for him to regain control of the situation. But here Macaque is already in control, he doesn't have to use those quips and insults. Moreover, we established that Macaque is a highly cautious individual by analyzing his modus operandi when it came to fighting, so why is he taking the risk to anger MK?

Macaque clearly has a hidden agenda here.

I also think it's really cool how there is a parallel between MK and Wukong with this shot :

Yet MK is so different from Wukong in the way he responds to Macaque taunts, he never insults back.

MK : Why are you helping her? LBD? Look I get you're a bad guy but you know she wants to destroy everything, right?

Macaque : yeah see I had a taste of dying and you know what not a big fan so I'm choosing to be on the winning side.

MK : She's using you. We have a plan, you could help, we could stop her together.

Macaque : You can't even stop me. Now first I deliver you, then I come back for your hazbin master and finally I'll repay my debt and be free of this nightmare. Anyway I assume you won't’ be coming quietly sooo-

Okay, a lot to unpack here.

First, MK, while still acknowledging that Macaque is a villain, tries to reason with him. And while it's in character for MK to do that, I do also think MK does it because he knows Macaque can be reasoned with and that he's a more confusing individual than a mere one-dimensional villain (as he learned in season 2).

Second, the fact Macaque talks about his death to justify him “being on the winning side” is a clear indication of the drive that pushes Macaque this season : survival. It's not about powers, it's not about tormenting, Macaque this season is about survival. It was established in the scene with LBD and it's confirmed here by Macaque himself through his words. It's important for the audience to know this because it changes everything about how we perceive Macaque from now on in this season. Macaque wants to live, especially after knowing what death feels like, which means that on top of not following LBD willingly, he's also running along to assure his survival. The use of “being free of this nightmare” really drives the point about how Macaque views the situation he's in. It's a nightmare, he doesn't enjoy it one bit which we cannot really fault him for after what we saw at the beginning of the episode and how LBD treats him. It's important for the redemption processus, while it's true you cannot erase your actions, the motives behind the actions are still very important, it's not for nothing that extenuating circumstances exist in court.

Third, Macaque responding to MK by saying “You can't even stop me” is a great indicator about how Macaque currently feels. Right now, with MK powers being gone, LBD is unfortunately the “winning side” for Macaque.

Macaque : What a hero ! Two friends about to be crushed and you do nothing?

MK : Let them go, you can take me I don't care. Just let them go.

Macaque : Or what? You aren't the monkie kid anymore. Your powers are gone, your staff are gone, you're nothing.

MK : No, I'm the monkie kid.

Macaque : What was that now? I couldn't quite hear you!

This exchange right now really is the last push you need to understand Macaque's agenda better. In this moment Macaque could have everything he wanted, MK was literally serving himself on a silver plate yet Macaque still refused and instead kept taunting him with the one thing he knows MK will get angry about (as he learned in season 2) : his friends. Furthermore, the “I couldn't quite hear you!” is clearly a lie for someone called the Six-eared Macaque, we also learn later in the same season that Macaque has sensitive hearing, clearly Macaque could hear MK perfectly.

Macaque : he still has powers. Good. Things got a lot more interesting.

And that's Macaque's hidden agenda. He wants MK to have his powers, he wants the scale between LBD and MK to be more balanced. Because Macaque's agenda all along was choosing the “winning side”, Macaque goal for this season is survival. Since the beginning of the season, in episode 1, Macaque was already talking about the winning side, moreover the very title of this episode is “winning side”. Macaque is playing a two-faced game here. What I think might confuse the audience in this episode is the dichotomy between imagery and dialogue. Macaque is extra threatening here, every shot of him is taken out of a horror movie, he looks like a full-blown sadist and even goes as far as to hurt MK's friends physically. So when you see a Macaque being this menacing you do think he's in full-blown villain mode. Yet when you take a closer look at his actions and at his words you realize that he's playing a far more subtle game in this war. And after seeing how he's treated by LBD you understand why he's playing this two-faced game. LBD is not a stable ally. Her sense of justice is skewed by her perspective and even her definition of mercy is wrong. She thinks she's in the right and that makes her dangerous, because that makes her impossible to be reasoned with. Macaque knows this, he saw it first hand, so he needs to widen his options without expressly angering LBD.

Also, with the first scene of the episode, I think it's fair to assume that Macaque is pushed by a sense of desperation. He doesn't have the time to sugarcoat what he's doing, he needs MK to step up and regain his powers, and if for this he has to go an extra mile he will.

Because he wants to survive this.

Also, MK going for Macaque blinded eye to defeat him was a nice detail, especially since we can heavily speculate that Wukong was the one responsible for this injury. Everytime MK fights with Macaque, the way MK's moves and throws his punches is very reminiscent of Wukong, which is very natural considering MK is Wukong's mentee, so of course he'll pick up Wukong's habits when it comes to fighting . Yet you know MK is different, especially in this episode where instead of responding to Macaque's insults the way Wukong did in the first episode, he instead tries to reach out to him. MK could have been salty about what happened in season 1 (we know the betrayal hurts greatly based on what he says in season 4, about how everyone betrays him and he feels like a fool) yet unlike Wukong he doesn't respond to the quips.

This episode is really important in the redemption processus, it shows that Macaque agenda is different from LBD's and as such he's not really on her side, the only side Macaque is on is the “winning side”. It also shows the very unbalanced, almost slave/master relationship that LBD and Macaque has which will greatly help to understand Macaque's decision at the end of the season.

Macaque this season is running a survival game and he's trying to get all the chances on his side.

S3 ep8

Macaque doesn't reappear after this until the end of the season. The middle of the season is more focused on the samadhi fire and the different rings. Story-wise, it's necessary to involve Macaque with the rings one way or another for the progression of the plot, if the team managed to get all the rings without any difficulty on Macaque's parts it would have been quite odd. If we take into account the locations of the other two rings (DBK forteresse and the moon) which were two very difficult locations for Macaque to even enter, having him appear at Lantern City was really inevitable.

So Macaque first appears when the team are discussing the rings and what to do about the talent show. This serve as an exposition for Macaque to learn about the samadhi fire and the team's plan but it also highlights a few interesting thing :

Macaque is really tailing the team. In this particular scene he's hiding in the ceiling and eavesdropps on them and it's not the first time he does this (we established he eavesdropped on MK when he repeated MK exact phrasing “baby power” in ep4). On one hand it shows his cautiousness, but on another hand it means Macaque doesn't attack the team at every chance he gets. He could have attacked when Wukong was still meditating or when the team was sleeping, yet he never did. Once again because his goals does not align fully with LBD.

Macaque : the samadhi fire, huh. So that's how you're gonna beat the Lady Bone Demon.

Just after this line Macaque hears LBD threats echoing in his ears : “one misstep, one failure and I'll erase the very memory of you.” and mumbles “We'll see about that” with a very threatening shot. I'll like to point out that this shot is the very similar to the one used in ep 2 when Macaque is attacking Ao Guang :

So clearly it's a face that means he's going to take action. The fact he says “we'll see about that” just after being reminded of LBD threats is a way to indicate he's challenging LBD right now. He knows LBD can be destroyed by the samadhi fire and that gives him an outlet, a hope he didn't have before.

So, yes, right now Macaque decides to betray LBD. For the rest of the episode he will act for his own agenda and not on LBD's orders. Which is I think very important to point out, because if Macaque already betrays LBD this early on in the shows it means that, if given the chance, he would be willing to go against her.

He's willing to go against her.

So Macaque follows Tang until they arrive inside of the giant lantern where the ring resides.

And once again Macaque will first try to belittle Tang to assert his dominance but also perhaps to make him agree with his viewpoint and makes this easier for him :

Macaque : have more guts than I thought. It's… Tang, right? You know it's funny, I thought you're smart, I mean look at the guy he got glasses. If anyone knows where the legendary samadhi fire is, it's the guy sitting in the wing while his friends are busy having fun without him.

So first Macaque tries to adopt a more friendly approach. He's not following LBD's orders right now and he doesn't necessarily want to fight with Tang either. He tries to appear friendly by first praising Tang about his guts (which I think is very well-though considering Tang could be seen as the more cowardly of the bunch, thus by acknowledging his “guts” Macaque gives Tang a sense of validation he doesn't often hear). Then he validates and acknowledges him by saying his name and after this he praises another trait of Tang which is his intelligence. Macaque insists on the legendary nature of the samadhi fire to give a sense of pride to Tang (as if the samadhi fire was an incredibly difficult artifact to find) and he ends his lil speech by trying to create a wedge between Tang and the team.

When he sees that his speech didn't have any effect on Tang and, on the contrary, Tang pushes Macaque away, Macaque immediately adopts a more drastic method by kicking Tang away from the ring.

I think it's telling how Macaque approaches situations such as those. His first and foremost method is always tricking. It's not violence but manipulation, trying to make the other agree to his views and resolve the situation efficiently without having to fight, because fighting can be way more unpredictable than manipulation.

After Macaque kicks Tang away, we got this exchange :

Tang : Stop, the samadhi fire is humanity's last chance.

Macaque : Well humanity is gonna have to find something else. The samadhi fire is my best chance to get as far away from her as possible.

Tang : Surely even you can see that unless we stand together..

Macaque : together? Remind me again exactly what it is you contribute to the team? They seem to get along just fine without you. Don't take it personally Tang, you're buddy Wukong values people by how useful they are to him. Take it from me as an expert in what happens when you get too close to the King. Look out for number one, cause if you don't, no one will.

Here, Macaque is not even hiding what he's trying to do anymore. Like I said beforehand his goal in this season is his own survival. He doesn't even want to use the samadhi fire to fight LBD but to escape her. Which I think speaks volumes of Macaque's character, despite hating LBD he doesn't think of hurting her, he's thinking of escaping her, because escaping is less dangerous than fighting and Macaque is a very cautious individual when it comes to those matters.

With that being said, I think Macaque's behavior concerning Wukong spoke volumes of how much Wukong really means to Macaque. The only time Macaque is not as cautious as usual is when he's faced with something related to Wukong. In season 1, he goes above and beyond to angers Wukong and fights with him, going as far as using his mentee. For an individual as cautious as Macaque, angering someone like Wukong, the Great Sage Equal to Heaven, is not very in character. Except that Macaque cautiousness goes out of the window when it concerns Wukong, his logical side is being flooded by his own feelings and he loses sight of anything else. In season 2, MK showcasing the same behavior as Wukong is enough for Macaque to take a very impulsive decision and improvise his whole lesson.

Macaque is logical in everything he does, cautious with every plan, every attack, except when it concerns Wukong. Because in this case, his feelings take over.

Macaque's last line : “together? Remind me again exactly what it is you contribute to the team? They seem to get along just fine without you. Don't take it personally Tang, your buddy Wukong values people by how useful they are to him. Take it from me as an expert in what happens when you get too close to the King. Look out for number one, cause if you don't, no one will.” is very telling about his feelings. First, reminding Tang of his place in the team (or lack thereof) can be seen as him unconsciously relating to Tang, or at least relating to the image of Tang he got in this episode. Tang is benched, “benched” being the title of the episode, and that can remind Macaque of how Wukong also “benched” him in their youth. Then, because of course he did, Macaque keeps going back to Wukong even if Wukong didn't have anything to do with Tang being benched in this episode, it's MK who benched Tang. So not only does it tell that Macaque is not really talking about Tang at this moment but himself, it also shows that at least 70% of Macaque's brain is plagued by thoughts of Wukong (and again 70 is a generous number). Macaque is obviously feeling salty about what happened with Wukong. But beyond that he seems to have a very skewed image of Wukong he created after what happened between them.

We can say that this scene is one of the rare moments of Macaque being genuine, he doesn't smile nor try to be sarcastic, he's genuinely speaking how he feels. He paints Wukong as this cruel person that puts value on people and doesn't care about companionship. He takes his experience with Wukong and tries to justify Wukong’s behavior by saying that Wukong never cared about him. The use of “King” is at the same time meant as an insult but also paints Wukong as this power-driven person who only cared about his position. Macaque constructs an image of Wukong based on everything he lived through and fuels his own hatred with this fake image. Macaque knows Wukong is not like that, he lived with the guy, he knows him, yet he tries to lie to himself, to justify his own hurting and shift the blame entirely on Wukong.

Of course, Tang doesn't agree with this and goes on about the importance of friendship. I think it's a nice detail that Tang defeats Macaque with the help of Pigsy’s singing because it truly does illustrate Tang's speech about standing together with his friends, and winning together.

Moreover, the fact that Macaque was affected by Pigsy's singing is a great callback to his JTTW counterpart. The Six-eared Macaque is canonically described in JTTW as a being with a “sensitive ear”. Having Macaque share the same sensitivity is a nice character trait.

So after this, Tang manages to get a grip on the ring and flee while Macaque is electrocuted by the lantern lighting.

And then, LBD arrives.

Immediately, all lights within the city goes out and everything is plunged in an eerie dark blue.

She knows how to make her entrance.

What is interesting is that contrary to the other interaction between Macaque and LBD, this time Macaque is not even trying to appear intimidating or control the situation. There are no quips, no smiles, no attempts of diffusing the situation, because based on their last interactions he knows it's useless. Macaque is scared and he knows his attempts at being intimidating leads to nothing, so when she chains him, ready to quite literally erase his existence, the only thing he can do is reveal the existence of the samadhi fire.

The situation is even more terrifying because LBD is not even in the frame when she chains Macaque, she gives the illusion of being everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

Then LBD gives a fraction of her power to Macaque (which literally makes him scream in pain) and we are left with this last daunting shot (image 2), with Macaque mask passing purple to blue. I like to think that the last shot is a parallel to the third image, where Macaque decided to betray LBD and work for his own goal. The fact that we get more or less the same close up with Macaque’s mask really emphasizes on how Macaque now doesn't have any choices anymore.

The third image is Macaque being determined to follow his own agenda and betray LBD, and the second image is Macaque being caught up by LBD with no choices anymore.

He's at the end of this two-faced game he has tried to play since the beginning.

S3 ep9

First with the title of the episode being the “King, the prince, the shadow” you know it's going to be about Wukong, MK and Macaque.

After the end of the previous episode Macaque is desperate and it shows. For the first time, he doesn't answer Wukong quips even when they're still tailored to pick at his insecurities.

Wukong : So you got bone demon powers now, huh ? Well it is on brand for you to have a worst version of everyone else’s powers.

This quip is made to pick at the same insecurity :Macaque feeling like he's just a shadow, that he's just following Wukong's leads and that he will never be enough. But Macaque doesn't answer, he doesn't even look at Wukong. Instead he takes the rings from Nezha and turns around. Wukong tries again to rile him up but it doesn't work. The fact that Macaque who until now always took the time to answer Wukong's quips doesn't even take the time here speaks volumes of his desperation.

Then Macaque easily sees through Wukong trick and destroys the rings, who turn out to be just hair. The fact Nezha wasn't able to tell the difference and rushed after Wukong but Macaque recognized Wukong's trick at first glance testify how much Macaque knows Wukong and how his mind works.

Macaque : I couldn't care less about what the Lady Bone Demon wants.

This line is important, because after the end of the previous episode you'll think that Macaque will never rebel against LBD, yet again he's not following her orders, he's still on the mindset of taking the samadhi fire and freeing himself from LBD hold. But now more than ever he's out of time, he's driven by despair.

And then we get this shot as Macaque slowly walks towards the mountain (after realizing the rings are with MK) :

I love this shot because despite Wukong being the one physically trapped in the ice, Macaque is also shown to be trapped in it. His reflection is like enclosed in the ice, showing how even if he's free of movements, in reality he's also trapped by the ice, by LBD, enchained by her.

Macaque's next actions are all driven by despair, he's violent, decisive, he wants the samadhi fire and will not take no as an answer. Yet still he tries to talk, still he tries to convince the others. This shows he doesn't like to hurt people, he doesn't want to hurt them, but he doesn't have the luxury to sugarcoat what he's doing. He needs the fire.

Here are some example of Macaque trying to avoid confrontations :

Macaque : Don't get in my way, kid. I don't have time for you. I'm just here for the samadhi fire then I'm done with you all.

And then when MK does get in his way he grabs him and tries to make him understand how much Wukong doesn't have a plan, how much of a mistake it is to trust him.

Macaque : This was the Monkey King's great plan? How do you still not see that he has no idea what he's doing. How about this for a plan? Stay down MK or I will put you down.

The scene is violent, and Macaque is probably upset that those people trust Wukong so much and are willing to follow his lead without questions (perhaps he sees himself in them, how much he followed Wukong without never denying him anything, how he never questioned his lead).

[This is an apparté but people always put a lot of pressure on Wukong for being the one to fix things, for being the one to lead. And I don't think it's fair.]

After this Macaque catches Mei by the throat and poses an ultimatum to Tang (who is the only one able to move and activate the fire) : give the samadhi fire or Macaque will hurt his friends. Macaque knows Tang values his friends a lot after the previous episode and that's probably why he goes with this particular method.

S3 ep10

So the samadhi fire is freed and Macaque finally achieves his goal. We can see how the ice that was slowly crawling over Macaque arms and consuming more and more of him (a symbol of how much LBD was slowly possessing Macaque) is burnt away along with blue chains, the symbols of LBD hold on Macaque.

Macaque is free!

And Macaque first reaction when Wukong rushes towards him in anger is to flee, even if he hates Wukong, he doesn't want to fight right now, his goal is to flee far away from here. I like the detail that Macaque already prepares himself from Wukong's punch and turns his head the moment Wukong raises his fist. It could be an instinctual response to Wukong's fighting stance considering Macaque was at the receiving end of it quite a number of times.

Then, after Mei is consumed by the fire, we got a particularly meaningful exchange between MK and Macaque, while Wukong tries to protect MK from the fire by placing himself at the front.

Macaque : she's completely out of control. If there is a time to go it's now!

MK : No! Mei is my best friend, I'd never abandon her when she needs me.

The fact that the camera focuses on Wukong when MK says those words and that Wukong himself looks back at Macaque with what could only be described as a pained look (most likely of regret)... It's the first time in the whole series that Wukong shows Macaque something other than spite and annoyance, and in turns Macaque looks shocked and doesn't even know what to think of those words.

They both are thinking of what happened to them at this moment. Of how, somehow, they both failed each other and abandoned the other at their time of needs. And there is a lingering regret between them of what could have been, but also of what is right now. It's important to show us this as an audience, to understand the depth of their relationship and how, despite the apparent hatred, there is still something underneath.

MK : We're heroes, it's what we do.

That, I think, is the nail in the coffin. Macaque spends a whole episode in season 2 telling MK how much heroes leave their friends behind, how much heroes chose the world over their own loved ones, how light inevitably brings darkness and that it is impossible for heroes to save both the world and their friends. And MK, here, is proving Macaque wrong. He's redefining everything that Macaque believed about heroes, everything he thought was true because of his own experience with Wukong.

But Macaque still chose to flee at the end of this, and we really cannot blame him, because from the start his goal was surviving, it was to flee far away from this mess.

Yet he comes back later on in the specials and that's something. For the guy who said “Look out for number one, cause if you don't, no one will” to come back even after being freed, even after achieving his goals, that says something about Macaque as a person and how much he really cares.

So, this post is already quite long and I reached the Tumblr limits on how many images I can put in one post (and I do want to show you guys particular frames and shots in the specials) so I will do a separate post for the season 3 specials!

Thanks for reading this very long rant of mine really, like always you can disagree with me it's really all about interpretations.

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#lmk #shadowpeach #lego monkie kid #six eared macaque #Lmk macaque #Lmk theory #lmk analysis #Macaque analysis #Macaque study #Lmk thoughts

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tulipsforyourlips · 5 months

Text

✧˖°. i found you ✧˖°. (7)

|| the sandman x dead boy detectives ||

SUMMARY: You run the dead boys detective agency along with your two best friends. And somehow two ghosts and a living girl make it work. Until you dream one night, of dream himself.

PAIRING: dream of the endless x fem!reader

WC: 3.6K

WARNINGS: heavy angst, violence, heavy depictions of gore!! proceed only if you have the stomach for it!

PART 7 ✧˖°.

You were wrapping the take out noodles around your fork, for some minutes now. There was no space for food inside you, your guts were packed. With agonizing feelings. And the worst of them- unrequited feelings. You dropped your head on the table.

"Insult. Preposterous scandalous insult. If I could eat, I would never ever insult noodles like that." Charles entered the living room.

He sat down beside you on the floor with a sigh. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong." You titled your head in his direction, still resting it on the marble surface.

He brought his face needlessly closer. "Yeah?"

"You know mate there is this notion you have never heard of-it's called personal space and you're seriously invading it right now." You pushed his face back.

"Come on, tell me." He poked your leg with his under the table.

"Charles I," you pressed the heels of your hands against your eyes.

"I think I am in love." You brought your hands down and looked into his eyes.

"Haz you're my best friend-" Huh "-and I love you, I do but-"

"Not with you! You buffoon!" You smacked his shoulder.

His mouth formed an 'O'. "Of course I knew that," he said while massaging his shoulder. "That hurt by the way."

"Good." You threw your head on the couch behind you.

"Who is the unlucky man?"

"You don't know him."

"Wait is this the guy you keep ditching us for?"

"No-yes and I don't ditch you for him you overdramatic arse."

"Whatever. Are you sure you are in love?" He asked. "It's not just some infatuation?"

"No Charles it isn't a stupid crush. I feel my trachea physically contract when I am near him. Like someone has just seized it, leaving behind thumbprints-his thumbprints."

"I did not get a word of that."

You rolled your eyes.

"Is he hot?" He smirked.

You went over the memories of his flawless face, each detail on it so intricately stored in your mind.

"He's beautiful."

"Damn, you are fucked mate."

You were fucked.

"What's going on?" Edwin joined you both.

"Hazel is in love."

"Wha-"

"No!" You shrieked. "I think. I don't know."

"The mystery date?" Edwin pulled a chair and spun it so that his torso was against the back of it.

"Yeah."

"Haven't you known him for a month maybe?"

"It feels like an eternity," you said. "Why me?" You wailed.

"Happens to the best of us soldier." Charles patted your back.

"Does he..love you back?" Edwin inquired.

"Guys love is too strong a word! And no."

"Has he told you that?"

You narrowed your eyes at Edwin. "No." Before he could take apart your reply and divulge into its interpretations, you rebuffed, "he can't. It's not possible. It's complicated. Just that he can't. And please, can we stop talking about this. Don't you two have any better things to do than piss me off."

"No. Hazel in love is a whole new facet for me to explore."

"Say love one more time and I will skin you alive," you threatened.

"Loooooove," Charles sang.

"This is precisely why I was planning to just sulk by myself alone and swallow down my feelings. Fuck healthy coping mechanisms." You pushed the table back and began standing up when Charles pulled you down.

"You would have exploded."

"Like I am practicing sainthood right now," you fumed as you thrashed against his arms.

"So how old is he?" Edwin queried.

"You people are insufferable. Are you building a freaking facebook page for him?"

"Hey how did you know?" Charles was sniffing the bowl of noodles.

You hit him on the head. "Can you even smell it?"

"It's the effort that counts mate and stop bloody hitting me!" He yelped.

"Stop being you!"

"Guys guys stop it! Hazel how old is he?"

"Quite old," you sighed.

"Like grandpa old-"

"Ew Charles. Well," He was technically more than that.

Edwin's eyes widened. "I was aware you were into older men but?"

"Come on he can't be older than us," Charles grinned.

Yeah about that...

"What is he? Jesus?" Edwin questioned.

"Yeah mate like she just casually fell in love with a god."

Oh boy they were treading dangerously close.

As they began speculating which greek gods they would fuck, marry or kill, you felt your eyelids droop down and you succumbed to the sweet call of sleep.

You stood over the dreaming waters, a wind blowing your hair awry. You lowered your body and your fingers grazed the surface of the glittering water, causing a tremor of ripple. You felt the energy seething in the water body, intangible but somehow compellingly real. And you let it's force pull you into the unfathomable depths of the sea. The impact was cold against your mortal skin, but not as jarring as it should have been for a human. Perhaps it was practice, perhaps it was your weird abilities. Here you could even breathe underwater without flooding your lungs. A trail of light erupted inside the water, guiding you to your destinations. You slackened your muscles and allowed it to steer your body to the dream awaiting you. Like it had been for the past few days. You fell into the dream. Riveting darkness engulfed you. Something was off. A putrid smell wafted through the air which was devoid of any warmth. You opened your arms wide, trying to gain an estimation of your surroundings. Your hands braced against something. A wall? You tried to feel the coarse rugged wall with your fingers but they came away slicky. Gross.

"Hello?" You called out into the apparent void and heard your voice echo against the sickening enclosure of wherever the fuck you had stumbled onto.

The rancid odour that hung in its air did not aid in pacifying your nerves. You carefully started walking, trying to locate the dream's inhabitant and reach the end of wherever you were when a clank sounded from where your feet had accidentally kicked something. Before you could discern it, a torch shone in the far distance. A muddled sense of relief poured into your nerves.

"Is anyone there?" You called into the darkness and began approaching the source of light which was gradually making its way towards you.

As you neared the silhouette, it began taking the form of a person. Then you stopped in your tracks, the momentary relief freezing into blocks of fear. A beast of a man holding a sconce alit with fire stared at you with eyes reflecting its light along with an untamed hunger for bloodlust. And then he smiled, displaying all of his crooked yellowed teeth. You took a step back, then another and ran for your life. But luck adored you and you tripped and fell face first onto the ground. Ouch. Your tongue tasted copper as blood oozed from your lips. The left side of your face that was in direct contact with the grimy ground throbbed and you were sure you had managed to bruise that too. You lifted yourself up on your hands weight which stung with meek cuts. The man's footsteps grew louder. And as they did, the light of the raving fire fell on the object you had first hit your leg against and now tripped on. A corpse, multiple corpses, half of them dwindled down to a revolting cluster of skeletons while the other half were decaying their way towards their comrades littered around your own breathing body which could soon add to the pile. Could you die in dreams? You could definitely get hurt. Oh my god you could definitely die. You wanted to empty your guts. Instead you ran. How were you in a nightmare and whose bloody conscious were you in? Who dreamt of walls slick with blood and cannibals or whichever friendly profession the guy practiced roaming within them?

"Dream," your voice pleaded as you exhausted your lungs' limits. You spared a glance back, he was still pursuing you. "Dream! Help me!"

No answer.

He couldn't hear you. You knew that. You had tried it the second time you had entered someone else's dream- cursing and taunting him as a healthy way to vent your anger at your failed attempts. You had to escape this place. But how? The only way you knew was the opening of a portal after the dream had bent to your will. And there was no way you could get that despising man to trust you. Your legs ached but the nearing shadow on the ground had you disregard it. A portal appeared out of nowhere in front of you and the inertia of your run had you dive straight into it. Pitch black swallowed you again, this time absent of the smell of rotten corpses as you plummeted, to your death. No, not your death. You landed on stable ground in pure darkness. And a light bulb switched on. A mob of zombies were circled around you. Sharp acute fear sliced through your insides. Then the light fused out. Pitch black. When it switched on again, the bloodthirsty creatures were impossibly near you. Shabby vile hands wrapped around your throat. Another pair around your forearm. And another. The army of zombies was on you, nails digging into your flesh, drawing blood.

"Dream please," you futilely begged.

No answer.

Just as your mind was supplying you with images of the dead boy detectives at your tombstone, a portal opened underneath you and gravity pulled you down yet again. Your feet slammed against a polished floor. You found yourself in a diner. Nobody seemed to take in your pathetic presence as you stood studying the scenes playing in front of you. A waitress named Jenny took a happy couple's order. A young man dressed up for a job interview sat on the counter. A woman was calling up her girlfriend after a nasty fight. In the kitchen someone chopped up tomatoes. An odd man sat in a booth in a corner, observing the people all around with an unsettling glint in his eye. A red glow illuminated his face which seemed to come from an object clutched in his hand. Conversations played out everywhere. The scenes segued into the next seamlessly. Something about this figment felt less a dream and more like a memory. But that did nothing to melt the blocks of fear still floating around in your blood, given the fiery streak of nightmares you were on. It's as if you were witnessing the worst of humanity. Your skin bore bleeding gashes as proof. You watched the now mismatched couples make out with each other. And when you blinked, you were alone. It was as though the people had vaporized into thin air. Apprehension tingled your spine. Three people flickered into existence to your right like the lights flickering overhead. The job interviewee was huddled over the CEO's husband. He pulled away a little and a gasp of horror left your mouth. A gaping slash decorated his neck as blood streamed from it, seeping into his clothes and onto the floor. Bile arose in your throat.

"What did you do?" The wife squeaked.

"I didn't mean to-" The young man started explaining when he dissolved into nothingness like the rest.

You wanted to get out of here. What kind of fucked up memory was this?

Two figures materialized in the back, in the kitchen. The waitress was burning papers into a fire while the chopping guy from before was cutting up more vegetables. You warily approached the window segregating the customer side and you wished you hadn't. It wasn't just papers the woman was burning but her own hands and you fought the urge to scream at the charred skin of the woman which was peeling off her hands, exposing the tissues and bones inside. Her friend wasn't bringing his knife down on tomatoes but with a grimace, you saw on his own fingers. Blood spluttered onto the chopping board, a few droplets etching on his face. You grabbed the counter behind you as you shivered due to the gruesome sight you had just experienced. You grinded your teeth in order to not throw up right there and then. In the next second, they were both gone. You revolved your head around, scanning for any sort of escape from the ceaseless series of nightmares you had locked yourself in. You started towards the door, when Jenny appeared in your way with two screwdrivers in her hand. And to your utter harrowing horror, thrusted their spiky ends into her eyes. Your stomach unfurled into a sickening frenzy that gripped every organ of your being and you shuddered. You closed your eyes. Tears slid down your face, mixing the taste of copper and seawater on your tongue. Everything hurt.

"Dream I want to get out," you croaked to yourself, fingers trembling.

No answer.

When you opened them again, all the individuals from before were leering at you. Drenched in blood- gushing out of necks, dripping down from hammered and sliced hands, accompanied by bloodied slits for eyes.

"Dream please, I need you," you whispered, tears falling down in a torrent.

Blood splattered everywhere as they made their way to you. The door was just behind you. But you were frozen in your spot, dread weighing your body down. They spread around, closing in from every direction. You took a step back and your back collided with something solid. You closed your eyelids, waiting to be impaled on a knife or a screwdriver when a familiar hand draped around your waist.

"I got you," Dream's sweet voice said in your ears.

And in a heartbeat, the horrendous scene was replaced by his throne room. He released his hold on you and without his hands keeping you upright, your knees buckled and you fell to the floor.

Bottling down any sob that could dare leak through, you asked, blinking away tears, "what happened back there?"

"You accidentally ventured into the worst the Dreaming has to offer," he explained while scrutinizing your injuries.

"I did not venture Dream. I got sucked into it," you bit out.

The Endless lowered himself to where you were crouched on the floor. You must be looking a complete and hapless fiasco, lips and skin torn, blood desecrating your features, incongruous in the Dreaming castle.

"Hazel I never thought those could even be accessible to you. Some nightmares yes, but none that terrorizing. Something must have-"

"You knew?" You looked up at him. "You knew that I could stumble into a nightmare any of the days you sent me there?"

"It-it never happened before, with Hope-"

"I am not Hope!" you snapped. "I almost died Dream, more than once." Your voice shook involuntarily.

"I wouldn't have let you," he said firmly. "I heard you."

He did? All the names you had called him and the jokes you had made of his 'conceited arse' passed through your mind. But the spur of embarrassment mellowed down as rage took its hold back on you.

His fingers skimmed across the underside of your eye where a scar was engraving into it.

"Don't touch me." You swatted his hand away.

A momentary hurt flashed in his eyes.

"Oh please like I am not doing you a favour. You act as if my touch burns you." You tried to get up but a swell of dizziness swept over you and you would have fallen again if Dream hadn't caught you against him. And as quickly, he let go of his hands.

"You promised,"

Dream flinched at your words.

"You promised it would be fine. Nothing about that was fine."

Dream went still. You turned back, away from the glass panes. The crystal colours reminded you of the apron Jenny was wearing and the image of the waitress jabbing the metal ends into her eyes, surfaced from wherever it had been imprinted in your mind for the remainder of your life.

"I can't do this anymore Dream. I am sorry."

A yank pulled you out of your sleep and your eyes fluttered open in the waking world. Every muscle in your anatomy was sore.

"Come on you tosser up!" Charles barged into your room.

You dragged your sheets over your head, shielding your sorry state from his gaze.

"Get up mate!" He whined. "I come as a bearer of absolutely brills news. We have, drumroll please," he rapped his hands on the bedstand, "another sea monster creating havoc!"

"I am not feeling really well today. I don't think I will be able to accompany you," you said from under your covers and Charles groped them, about to toss them aside.

"Bugger off! It could be a nasty infection, you will catch it."

"Ghost's don't get sick idiot."

"Charles please I am a mess right now, go without me," you pleaded.

"Ugh fine. Rot in bed for all I care." And he went away.

So you proceeded to rot in bed all day, staring at the wall, regretting your existence, you know, the usual. After a while, as the sun became dimmer, you got out of your bed with grueling effort, scrambled on a hoodie to conceal your bruised face and body incase the boys got back and went to the study. You began combing through thick volumes of parasite trivia to distract your mind from replaying the events of last night. Even the knowledge of your confrontation with Dream sparked a pain that hurt more than any physical wounds on your self. You browsed through the shelves and your fingers hovered over a book that peeked your interest. You pulled it out and immediately dropped it onto the floor at the swooshing sound from the mirror.

"Fuck, you scared me," you told a reappeared Edwin.

"I had no intention to," he apologized. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," you lied.

Charles was next through the mirror.

"How was the case?"

"Ugly," he said. "Did you know about the night nurse?" He scrunched his face.

"The what?" Your bafflement was genuine.

"She's this transcendental being working in some afterlife department locating missing boys-missing dead boys and allotting them their fixed places in the afterlife," Edwin spoke up.

"Yeah she's a bitch basically. Tried to separate Edwin and me here." He put up his hands in disbelief. "The gall. She can try." He balled up his fist into a punch. "I won't let her take you back to hell," he told Edwin.

Edwin smiled softly and squeezed his hand. "I know Charles."

"This doesn't make sense. Death isn't even after you," you blurted out and realized your mistake.

"What do you mean?" Both their ears perked up.

"I don't think that she is." You moved away from them and secured the hood around your head. You kept the study barely lit for the aesthetics and you applauded yourself for that whimsy decision.

"Well believe it or not the world doesn't adjust itself to what Hazel thinks and what Hazel feels," Charles blabbered.

Except it did.

"Yeah, I know. I am going to bed, see you later." You picked up the book you had dropped earlier and walked away.

"You sleep more than a corpse these days you know?"

You stopped in the doorway as the skeletons and remains of people from one of the nightmares entered your vision, a fate you were about to join.

"That isn't funny," you deadpanned as you turned around.

"Dude chill it was a joke. Why so serious? Trouble with your boyfriend?" He snickered.

"Everything is not a bloody joke Charles!" You hurled your book at him and he ducked just in time from having a permanent dent on his head.

"What the fuck mate?"

"Hazel," Edwin chastised.

You pressed your fingers against your temples. "I am sorry."

You rushed out of the study, mad at everyone and yourself. Footsteps followed behind.

"Edwin please don't."

You winced as he grabbed your forearm. He noticed your reaction and pulled your sleeve up. You jerked free from his grip but he had already seen the claw marks carved in your skin.

"What was that?"

You shied away from his inspecting glare. He warily approached you, afraid he might set you off again. But as you retreated back, your hood fell back and light illuminated your battered face.

Edwin sucked in a breath. "What the fuck happened to your face?" His voice was upsettingly calm. You had never heard him curse once in the 4 years you had known him.

He clenched his teeth when you didn't respond. "Hazel, I asked you a question."

"I tripped." That was partially true.

"You tripped?" He asked incredulously. "What is happening to you?"

"Everything is fine Edwin! Absolutely brilliant. There is nothing you need to worry about."

"How can we not?" He cried. "We care for you!" He brought his voice down several octaves. "We want to help you."

"You can't okay!" You yelled at him.

"Let us try." His eyes were locked on yours. "Please."

Your eyes grew watery. You plopped down on the couch near you. Edwin sat himself next to you.

"What is going on Hazel?" He gently probed.

You pursed your lips to stop yourself from crying. "Nothing." You shook your head.

"Come here."

He put his arm around you and at the touch, the dam of your emotions busted open and you crumbled into his embrace, soiling his shirt with your tears. He stroked your hair as you sobbed into his chest, emptying all of the pent up frustration and hurt and loss until you were numb, incapable of feeling anything. Oh Dream, what are you doing to me?

SERIES MASTERLIST ✧˖°.

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diazguzman · 3 months

Text

Part 4

25/06/16 He said, Ella dijo podcast. (I'm so sorry about the thumbnail YouTube choose for the video 🙈 YouTube said 😬)

youtube

Such a wonderful interview, here Ryan talks about parenthood, his martial arts training since he was a child, his modeling career and start as an actor, how dancing was easy to him due his upbringing as Mexican-American because there were many parties to attend Ryan also said that fighting and dancing are very similar. He opened up about his struggles with mental health and past suicide attempt then he talked about his new movie "the present".

Full transcript.

24/06/18 Interview for KTLA (Ryan talks about parenthood, his movie and mentions buddie unprompted 🙂‍↕️)

Gif from ayo-edebiri

Clip of Ryan talking about buddie. Whole interview.

24/06/18 Interview for CBS news, Ryan talks about "the present"

24/06/18 The Jess Cagle Show

Here Ryan talks about "the present" and how he took the role in the movie because the plot of " kids trying to keep their parents together" resonated with him. He talks about parenthood and his 2 children and how one of his kids thought he was a real firefighter because they saw an episode of 911. He talks about 911 and what happened to Eddie in the season finale and how Eddie has lost all foundation and footing and the new season will be about Eddie starting on a new landscape and what this new landscape will offer to him. He is making sure he is super fit to play Eddie, he believes Eddie will be working out more as a coping mechanism. He talked about the boy next door and working with JLO and how he didn't really call himself an actor until 3 years ago. Kenneth helped him to understand he had to put in the works to be an actor, to study and take acting seriously. When his last fight as a MMA fighter didn't end up being what he wanted he left Sacramento to pursue a modeling career in LA where he had to share a small apartment with five more guys. He then started acting because he was very competitive (he was like "if my roommates want to try acting so can I" 🫡).

youtube

24/06/21 Ryan with Mario López

He talks about his movie "the present", Ryan also talked about how Eddie lost his kid and had to say goodbye to his late wife for the billion time (😅) so in season 8 Eddie will be finding himself all over again in a new landscape and he thinks Eddie will want to escape somewhere, he finding a healthy or unhealthy coping mechanism is yet to be seen.

Ryan also talked about his art and how art to him is more like story telling. Ryan said he is doing mostly boxing training right now and at the end he talked about his children and trying to get his kids into sports.

24/06/21 Oliver's interview for men's health *

youtube

Oliver was on a road trip, during his interview he talked about mental health and how when he's not doing well he tends to withdraw, how he struggled with making friends and how during his trip he met a lot of great people thanks to his dogs ❤️. Oliver talked about acting, how it was difficult for him when a previous girlfriend had more auditions than him back then and how he's really grateful for the opportunity to work on 911. Oliver also talked about the complications due the use of social media, where you don't always find positive things.

He talked about Buck's coming out arc, he's really honored of getting to play a bi character. He also talked about how curating his online experience is very important to him, mentioned having another twitter account that was mostly about sports, he has previously found people sharing negative opinions about him and that's why he refrains from looking about things about himself online. He also talks about how much he loves nature.

24/06/23 Whine down with Jana Kramer The boy next door with Ryan Guzmán

He talked about how he started acting, he hated modeling. He got into debt thanks to the modelig agencies. What he likes about acting is that acting connects with the human side of things. Ryan also talked about his art and his experience while working with JLO, he talked about "the present" also mentioned he is currently a single father and why he keeps his children out the public eye and how much he misses them when they are not with him. He's not looking for someone to date right now.

youtube

24/06/26 Ryan being interviewed for people en Español

Ryan talked about the challenges of playing Eddie and mentioned the parallels between him and Eddie. He talked about his role in "the present" and his costars. Ryan also talked about the Latino community, and the need of more than stereotypical representation and diversity in media he talked about being Latino actor while playing a character and how when he's off set he's still a Latino person even if most of the time people will think he's white 💔

youtube

#compilation #ryan guzman #oliver stark #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #Youtube

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yankpop · 1 year

Text

Yandere Kun (WayV): Being too overprotective during your pregnancy

Summary: Your “husband” wants your unborn baby to be healthy and for that, he’s willing to manipulate you until he gets what he wants.

This is a FICTION work only made for entertainment purposes so please don’t take any of this seriously. I do not support or encourage any type of abusive behaviour.

All copyrights belong to @yankpop (aka me) so do not post/translate my works on any other platforms without my consent/knowledge.

Check more: Masterlist.

WARNINGS: Implied kidnapping; forced pregnancy; intense manipulation; gaslighting; forced eating.

(Female reader)

AN: It a bit messed up but i still did it. Hope you guys like it and let me know 💖

"What's that?”

You hesitantly ask as you enter the kitchen. The kitchen counter fully decorated with colorful fruits that Kun keeps picking, putting them into the blender, creating a suspicious juice. Even the odd color manages to scare you.

Kun gives you a bright open smile, rushing over to you. His hands immediately take a hold of you, one of them going to your swollen belly, making you slightly flinch.

Even after all this time, you still hate his touch.

“Oh this? I’m just following the doctor’s orders.” he calmly says, carefully maneuvering your body to make you sit on a chair.

Your brows twist in confusion. You don’t recall the doctor saying something about fruit juices.

Kun notices your confusion, a small smile decorating his face as he leans on and places a small kiss on your forehead.

“I asked the doctor for extra recommendations, just to make sure you and our precious baby will be healthy the entire time.” he elucidates you, his calming voice inciting the baby to start kicking, making you gasp in surprise.

Kun panics for a moment, his eyes going wide in concern, until he sees your hand going to rub your belly. He kneels down to the floor, his face at the same level as the growing bump.

“Daddy’s here, princess. He’s gonna make sure that you’re safe and have all the vitamins that you need, baby.” Kun coos, his voice flooding with adoration as he presses small gentle kisses all over your stomach.

You merely stare at him, an emptiness filling you as you feel like you’re not even on your own body but more like someone who's watching the scene from afar.

One of the many coping mechanisms that you developed over your time with Kun.

You didn’t blame the baby but it didn’t stop you from dreaming what your life would’ve been if you had managed to get away from Kun before he got you pregnant. Not that he’d let you run away even if you didn’t want to stay with him.

You had already come to terms with the fact that you would never get away from him but lately hormones have been making your irrational fantasies of escaping grow stronger.

“I also got you more vitamins, later I’m gonna make a schedule for when you have to take them.” Kun declares, looking above towards you. His words make you huff in annoyance, his controlling personality starting to bug you immensely.

He ignores your action, going back to the counter and grabbing a juice filled glass and handing it to you. You gaze at the peculiar shade of green of the juice, hesitating before bringing it to your lips.

Taking in a small sip, you immediately gag with the liquid, spitting it back to the glass and putting it back on the counter.

“Ew, it tastes so bad.”

Kun only sighs at your reaction, once again grabbing the glass and returning it to you, his hand coming to your back, rubbing small comforting circles.

“I know it doesn’t taste great, but it’s a small sacrifice you have to make for the baby.”

Your brows narrow in exasperation, crossing your arms above your baby bump you shoot back at him.

“I already take 3 different types of vitamins, I don’t think the baby needs much more. You’re just going overboard with this, Kun.” Your words don’t have much effect over Kun but you definitely notice his fingers tightening around the glass cup.

“Look, this is all for the baby, darling. Don’t be such a bad mom that can’t even put our baby’s health over your own comfort.”

Your mouth drops as his words hit you hard. You aren't being a bad mom. You aren't. Right?

“Yes, you are.” Kun says, almost like he’s reading your mind. He tilts the glass into your direction.

“Just drink it. Cause if you don’t and our daughter is born with any type of health problems, I’m blaming you for it.” He concludes without so much of a blink, making you doubt yourself.

Your mind runs through various scenarios and as much as you hate Kun and his overprotective nature, maybe he was right and the baby really needed this.

Reluctantly picking back the glass, you drink small sips of the liquid, constantly gagging back on its taste yet forcing it down your throat. From your peripheral vision, you see Kun giving you a satisfied smile, his hand coming back to rub your back, somewhat making you feel better as you keep consuming the nasty drink.

The disgusting flavor burns your throat as you force it down.

“You're doing great, honey. Just a few more sips and you’re done.” Kun incentives you, his eyes attentive towards you.

After a few more bitter and agonizing gulps you finally end the whole glass, immediately pushing the glass away from you. Kun’s features morph into a pleased expression, his hand coming to your stomach to lovingly caress the bump.

“See, it wasn't that difficult, was it? I’m glad you were reasonable enough to not jeopardize our baby’s health.” You turn your eyes away from him, unable to look at him.

You know that the reality is that Kun is a master in manipulation and that you just fell for another of his tricks, this time using your own child as leverage to manipulate you.

You hate him.

----

⚠ Please reblog and comment, if you liked this.

It means a lot :)

Tags:

@mwitsmejk

#yandere nct #@yankpop #yandere wayv #yandere kun #yandere kun x reader #yandere kpop #nct yandere #yandere kun drabble #kpop yandere

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iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia · 10 months

Note

full hc request: platonic m6 with mc who is going through a break up after a long term relationship and is just down in the dumps and crying at random times and m6 just make them feel better

The Arcana HCs: M6 comforting MC after a bad breakup

~ @elysian-chaos here you go, lil sis, I hope you like these and that you receive whatever comfort you're needing from them :) ~

Julian

So, here's the thing: healthy coping mechanisms are not his forte

Yes, he wants to see you happy, yes, he wants to see you heal, yes, he wants to bring you comfort

Offering to get blackout drunk with you is not the best way to accomplish that and he doesn't realize it until he sees the look on your face and hears himself make the offer

... tell you what, you tell him what you're hoping to accomplish, and he'll try to use that big brain of his to find a way to do it

Assuming you're of age, he's still going to offer you a little alcohol, if only to make it easier to talk about things more freely

If he figures out that hugging you helps, then he's giving you hugs every time you're sad (and considering how all encompassing they are, it's very good for making you feel a little whole again)

No matter how messy or weird things were, there is zero judgement coming from this guy. He's had his own share of toxic/questionable/inadvisable/problematic situationships

Nobody knows poor self-esteem like he does and he's quick to nip any kind of self-punishment in the bud

Never gets tired of hearing you talk about it and is not at all fazed by messy crying. He's a doctor, bodily fluids are normal, and he's happy to use his handkerchief to dry your tears and blow your nose

Asra

Genuinely one of the best people you could ever go to for comfort. They're here, they've got you, they love you unconditionally, and they will always prioritize your feelings and personal wellbeing

So many hugs and cuddles. He'll curl up with you in a pile of soft pillows and blankets and hold you for as long as you need to cry

Whatever you want to do to cope, they'll do it with you and somehow find a way to make it even more comforting

If you want to talk about it, he'll brew your favorite tea and give it to you in one of those big, two-handed mugs so you have something warm to hold and focus on

If you want to get back at your breakup, they'll come up with all kinds of devious tricks to make their life inconvenient

If you just want to cry it out into a tub of ice cream while you watch movies, he'll grab some pumpkin bread to go with it and keep his shoulder and some tissues handy to cry on

There's no space to feel down about yourself. They will beat any negativity to the punch and heap you with more words of affirmation than you really know what to do with

There's no such thing as a "bad time" for him. He starts trips at midnight, if you wake up lonely at 2 AM he's down to wander through the dark streets with you until you can sleep again

Nadia

She's a little ... torn

She cares about you very much and wants to see you happy

Which is why seeing you cry gives her both the urge to make you smile again and to track down whoever's responsible and serve them some sweet, sweet justice

Talking to her about it is great if you want perspective and analysis on what went wrong, and really really great if you want solutions and strategies to help you move on

But Nadia is a fixer. She has a hard time listening to pain when she feels like there's something she can do about it, and an even harder time when it involves someone important to her crying

She'll end up pampering the daylights out of you

Seriously, you deserve good things, after going through something so painful she wants you to remember what it's like to be treated according to the value you truly hold as a person

She'll take you on platonic dates to boost your confidence and spoil you out of your low self-esteem

And hey, if it's a post-relationship makeover you need, say no more

She'll take you shopping for your new look, she'll help you pick out the new hair, she'll let you smell all of her scents if you want to switch to a different perfume/cologne. She's got you

Muriel

He's ... not great with words. He knows this. You know this. We all know this. Talking it out is not his thing

However, if you just need a quiet, safe space to detach from everything and fall apart for a bit, he can relate perfectly. Stay as long as you need to, sleep as much as you need to, but don't yell

If you want to yell, just let him know so he can take you to a better yelling spot that doesn't involve stressing out the chickens

He's not going to initiate much comfort, because he's not sure what you want, so if you do want hugs you'll have to ask

But he will make you soup. And eggs. And egg soup. And some of the weird tea Asra left lying around several years ago (actually wait, let him try it first, he doesn't know what it does or if it's still good)

And he will bring you plenty of blankets to wrap up in and mountains of firewood to keep the hut warm and cozy

If you want to talk about it, he'll listen. Depending on how messy it got, you might get a slightly judgy look here and there, but it's you he cares about and it's you he's listening to

Speaking of, he can hold a grudge. Whoever broke your heart is going to get some major stinkeye from him if they ever meet

Inanna's not a lapdog, but she's a cuddler if you need it. She can and will curl up on top of you if you need the comfort

Portia

Portia's an exceptionally empathetic person. It's what makes her so good at connecting with people across divides and seeing things from multiple perspectives

It's also what makes her cry almost as much as you do when you go through your breakup. If your heart is broken then so is hers

Which is why she is the best buddy for joining you in your sorrows and keeping you company. She will watch the sappy movies with you. She will eat the tubs of ice cream with you

She will get absolutely furious with your ex and curse them out until she's red in the face with you. She will offer to help you sabotage their future attempts at romantic connections with you

(don't let her do that last thing, she's going to accomplish it a little too effectively and then you'll both live with the guilt)

(unless of course said ex has a pattern of being seriously toxic/cruel to their partners, in which case, go ahead with the Countess's blessing and let her know if you'll need legal backup)

Bear hugs. The biggest, tightest, comfiest bear hugs

And self-care, when you're done with the ice cream and movies. She can set up an impressive at-home spa day

Pepi will follow you all around the cottage and even give you the honor of curling up and falling asleep on your lap. Don't move

Editing to add:

Lucio

Lucio doesn't have the easiest time processing his emotions, much less helping somebody else process theirs. He's very happy to help you but it's not going to be conventional by any means

You look angry. He'll take you somewhere good for sparring so you can let the aggressive feelings out instead of thinking about them

You look sad. Would you like him to throw you a party to cheer up?

Not even a distraction party? Not even a "good riddance" party? Not even a "I'm going to show off how many friends I have and how good I look in this outfit so they know what they lost" party? No?

Huh. You really don't process stuff the way he does, then

On the other hand, he will take your side no matter how messy it got. You're the best, you're his favorite person, and therefore anybody who causes you suffering is clearly in the wrong

Surprisingly good at giving you pep talks. He's a charismatic guy and he wholeheartedly believes every good thing he says about you

You're the best. End of discussion

He gets really uncomfortable if he sees you crying though. He just hates seeing you sad and he hates not knowing what to do about it

Mercedes and Melchior, on the other had, will lick your tears away until the only thing left on your face is dog slobber

#ask arcana brainrot #the arcana #the arcana headcanons #the arcana hc #the arcana game #asra the arcana #julian the arcana #nadia the arcana #muriel the arcana #portia the arcana #lucio the arcana #asra alnazar #julian devorak #nadia satrinava #muriel of the kokhuri #portia devorak #lucio morgasson

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veliseraptor · 1 year

Note

xiao xingchen and (unhealthy) coping mechanisms

how long ago was this sent? no idea. I'm going through my inbox answering some old asks. slowly

does he have any healthy ones? for that matter, does he have any at all?

in all seriousness, though. one of my favorite things about Xiao Xingchen other than everything is how good he is at projecting a "i'm fine, slightly melancholy but generally reasonable, very friendly and deeply invested in the well-being of others" and simultaneously he is a very unwell man.

like, is the above true? for sure Xiao Xingchen's friendliness and care is very genuine, I think he does have the real desire to make the world a better place and the belief that if he really tries he can do so, or at least help some people even if he can't make the kind of change he originally wanted to make. Xiao Xingchen has a lot of big feelings and a lot of them are about how the world just needs a little work and people just need some help and he is going to give both.

and at the same time...I mean, from the jump the first choice we see him make under intense stress is, frankly, pretty nuts! "Have a fight with your friend, give him your eyes and disappear" is not the reaction of a guy who knows how to cope. I've said before that while I think Xiao Xingchen is immensely strong I also think he's sort of brittle, and while you can push him in a lot of directions and he'll bend just fine (obligatory sex joke here), push him just a little the wrong way and he snaps like a dessicated twig. When that happens, he reacts with a kind of frantic, immediate desperation that results in pretty drastic steps (aforementioned eyes, suicide). And I don't think you can really call that a coping mechanism.

I don't think Xiao Xingchen thinks this about himself - that he has unhealthy coping mechanisms, I mean - because the thing is that Xiao Xingchen can bear a lot without flinching. Xiao Xingchen's very outlook on the world and determination to make a difference are a powerful motivator that makes it so that, confronted with what would be extraordinary stresses for most people, I think (at least for a while), he can handle it. Because it's going to get better! he's going to make it better! all he needs to do is try harder. I guess maybe that's his coping mechanism there - the belief that he can fix everything if he tries hard enough - and for a while he gets away with it because he can fix a lot of things, or at least make them a little better.

when he hits the end of that rope, though, he doesn't really have another one to grab onto.

One of the things I think about a lot when it comes to Xiao Xingchen in Yi City is the way that...I think for a long time after leaving Song Lan, Xiao Xingchen was just...drifting. he'd sort of resolved, I think, to separate himself from the world. His efforts to make a difference only resulted in suffering, so maybe he shouldn't try. And then he meets a-Qing, who invites herself along with him and basically inserts herself into his life, and now Xiao Xingchen has if nothing else a person who needs protecting, apparently by him. And then he has another person, who he expects to walk away but never does, who he befriends and gets close to and night hunts with, and it's not what he thought he'd be doing but maybe he's still making some kind of small good difference, for his friend and a-Qing, for the people he and his friend are helping. It's not the grand transformation of his and Song Lan's dream but maybe it's something.

And then it turns out that even that was not just built on a lie, but he was actively hurting people the whole time. And now that means all his trying harder has ever done is cause suffering. What else can he do, in that moment, but remove himself from the world so he can't do any more?

#conversating #anonymous #suicide mention cw #xiao xingchen #aggressively headcanons #god i love xxc so much #soooo much #draws hearts around him. this man is so unwell #the sad queer cultivators show #yi city arc yi city arc [dabs while sobbing]

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reiflopa · 3 months

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letting feelings out on art is called “art therapy” and is recommended by therapists as a wonderful, safer coping mechanism! People take back control of their terrible memories and trauma, but the process is messy and can make people uncomfortable, which is why I assume you made this post because you got TrIgGeReD

you should try talking to a therapist one of these days, I’m sure there’s things like online counseling that you can consider looking into, and it’s free!

also, if fiction affects reality in the way you think it does then shouldn’t we ban all media and fiction? FPS games would cause PTSD, GTA would be banned for glorifying violence and Hetalia wouldn’t even be considered a thing since parodying real world countries is a BAD THING!

Do you know why the fandom really fell off though? Because losers like you waste so much time complaining about total strangers that you can block and ignore, rather than engaging with art of people you like, or creating some yourself! That kills creativity after all, why should people make something if it’s not appreciated?

And also: have you touched grass today? It’s wonderful!

ranting and not even showing a DIGITAL profile that NOBODY knows who you are irl is actually fucking insane 😭🙏 don't even touch grass atp go roll around in a field chronically online boss holy shit . also it you ACTUALLY read my post, I said proshipping is not a healthy coping mechanism, it has to affect reality, if you're going through trauma, please go to a therapist, I actually have family issues, displaying characters getting literally abused and disowned by a parent won't help, it'll only make you feel that it's normal, normalizing causing trauma is ACTUALLY SO BAD?? no I wasn't triggered by "creativity" incest isn't creative, even if they aren't related, I'm ranting about how NORMALIZED THIS IS ON TUMBLR?? honestly if you lock the fuck in Hetalia is a COMEDY , with a mature rating and is PROBABLY a joke, like anime twinks as countries in WAR is an obvious fucking joke you probably can't comprehend, seriously, it's like shipping family guy characters but if the ships were problematic ships if your doing this 😭

#ask #proship dni

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thereareeyesinsidethetrees · 8 months

Text

going more into detail on that ‘gravity what now’ au because the summary was a bit vague. ‘everything is terrible and ford thinks it’s targeting him’ and ‘the fact that it takes place in researcher ford era is dubious’ and ‘stan and fiddleford are getting along while ford is suffering’

so here’s a collection of events/general things that started happening to our trio sometime after they got to gravity falls:

-ford has traumatizing nightmares about bill, despite never having met him or even been into the cave yet. without going too into detail, these nightmares give him: a fear of sleeping, a fear of darkness, and severe touch aversion. it is also one of two things that starts to erode his relationship with stan, as a result of the latter not taking the nightmares seriously

-ford tries to curb his newfound fear of the dark via exploring the cave behind the waterfall. it doesn’t work, but he does meet the geodites and become fond of them. he visits the waterfall cave often, as nothing in the woods ever seems to follow there

-it takes eight separate tries for stan to believe ford when he says there’s something dangerous in the woods. it only takes the last time because ford came back with undeniable evidence. this is the second thing that damages their relationship

-ford continually witnesses things in the surrounding woods that the other two never do. this is intensely frustrating for him

-on two separate occasions in the woods, ford comes across fiddleford and stan in rather gruesome states. they are both perfectly fine and have no idea what he’s talking about when he gets back to the shack (not actually the shack but y’know). these two events were very real, they just weren’t actually fiddleford or stan

-stan and fiddleford bond over engineering (stan taught himself how to repair cars, we already know about fiddleford’s robot thing). they also cook meals together. they’re having a wonderful time guys

-ford has seen so many some-type-of-creatures that he’s started talking to them and they’ve started talking back

-one of the creatures has started trying to give him words of advice. it doesn’t take because said creature is unsightly and does it while perched on the trio’s roof like a spider

-ford has no healthy coping mechanisms. he doesn’t have time for them and he barely even knows what that word means anymore

-fiddleford gets really good at making various kinds of treats for when ford has especially bad days. he has no idea what’s going on with him, but that doesn’t mean he can’t try to help

-fiddleford was invited to gravity falls first (so quickly he didn’t even get a chance to meet emma-may). stan was invited second

-both the stan twins are going through it in different ways and fiddleford’s just trying to keep the peace

-ford takes in a stray cat. stan doesn’t approve, fiddleford questions it, neither of them are stopping him. feline lifeline

#extra note that i didn’t think fit the others because it’s not a new development for the trio #in this au ford has seizures. fiddleford knows about them but stan doesn’t learn about them until much later #they’re not relevant to the events i keep mentioning but it is important so i thought i’d bring it up in the tags #and now we have a proper general overview

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mywordhaven · 1 year

Text

The Road Ahead - ch 1 | Frankie Morales x female reader

Next Chapter

Throughout most of your married life, you've dedicated yourself to waiting for Frankie. After each deployment, you patiently anticipated his return home, longing for the moment when he would be by your side once again. You yearned for him to open up to you during those nights when nightmares consumed his thoughts, hoping that he would find solace in sharing his pain with you. And as his addiction spiralled out of control, you hoped that he would recognize his problem and seek help. Yet, despite your countless protests and pleas, you now find yourself waiting for him once more as he ventures off to Columbia doing God knows what.

But this time is the last. Resolved, you make a solemn promise to yourself: You will never wait for Frankie again.

Rating: M for Mature (18 + / no minors allowed)

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: Applicable to the entire fic / PTSD, drug use and addiction, postpartum depression, abusive familial relationships, self-hatred, hard relationship to food, unhealthy coping mechanism, explicit sexual content, violence, mentions of suicidal thoughts, super angsty guys (more warnings will be added if necessary).

Summary: Now that Frankie is finally home for good, you can start looking to the future.

Notes: Hey everyone, I am super happy (and anxious) to be sharing my first-ever fic! I hope you like this deep dive into character growth with a lot of angst and a healthy side of fluff. The story will be told in the 2nd POV, but there will be no use of Y/N, ya'll get multiple nicknames instead. Hope you guys enjoy!

Ao3 link for those interested is: Here

You find yourself immersed in the itchiness of the comforter draped across you, its green, worn fabrics scratching your sensitive skin. Surprisingly, today you welcome this uncomfortable sensation, as it anchors your mind to the bed you are currently lying on. In this moment, as you struggle to catch your breath, the scratchiness of the duvet is grounding, preventing your mind from flying away.

Your hands glide slowly across the rough fabric, savouring its familiar prickle. As you trace the worn contours, memories start to flood back— The day when Frankie introduced that horrid green monstrosity was when you first moved in together some years ago, right before his second deployment. And although you despised its discoloured hue that clashed with your envisioned home's colour scheme, you kept silent. Frankie was leaving, and you didn't want your last moments together marred by a pointless argument over a green bedspread, no matter how dreadful it looked.

Now, ten years, 2 home relocations and a marriage later, that green duvet stubbornly remains an integral part of your bedroom decor, painfully clashing with the soothing blues surrounding it. Cornflower Blue, as the home improvement store employee had labelled it. You recall the days of indecisiveness, tirelessly seeking the perfect shade for your bedroom— A place you hope would be a peaceful haven for Frankie. Weeks were spent deliberating between countless swatches until finally settling on the current hue. Still, the green persists, clashing with the blue. Perhaps sage green would have been wiser, you think. But you had refused to admit defeat to an old, worn duvet and instead, had stubbornly gone with your first idea, horrid green be damned! Now, to your frustration, the bedroom remains an enduring battleground of colours, an ongoing struggle where shades of blue and green vie for supremacy in their quest to dominate the mood of the room.

Yet Frankie was unfazed, never commenting on the jarring combination of green and blue or their blatant mismatch. Perhaps you were making a mountain out of Molehill as you always seem to do. After all, your tendency to dramatize insignificant matters had been a subject of teasing within your family for as long as you could remember. Your brother had a habit of remarking on how seriously you took trivial matters. For your entire lives, nicknames like "Miss Prissy" or "Your Majesty" had been thrown your way to highlight your over-sensitiveness. And while your family saw it as innocent sibling teasing, these remarks had a way of leaving you feeling bruised, unable to brush the comments off as easily as everyone expected you to.

Your hands pause above your bare, sweat-dampened chest, shaking your head to dispel the unwelcomed and intrusive thoughts. Instead, you focus on the blissful moment you’ve just shared with your husband. The memory of that bothersome, green eyesore and all its associated baggage swiftly retreats from your mind, vanishing as fleetingly as it arrived.

At long last, a sense of savouring the simple joys of life begins to envelop you. With Frankie by your side, you envision a newfound freedom to engage in playful bickering, loud laughter, and the sheer enjoyment of each other. The mundane moments hold an allure like never before, beckoning you to revel in their ordinary beauty. It's a longing for a life that seems quintessentially American, relentlessly depicted on daytime television—an idyllic portrait of a family, complete with devoted parents and their brood of 2.5 children, nestled in a cozy backyard. PTA meetings, a simple 9-to-5, soccer practices after school, and piano lessons on weekends create the repetitive rhythm of this picture-perfect existence. In your vision, the pinnacle of concern revolves around selecting the ideal flowers for the summer flowerbed. While some may deem it mundane, for you, it represents an exquisite slice of paradise.

Your husband Frankie, having endured years of military service, deserves nothing less, you think. Your hands still from their exploration as you reflect on the vivid nightmares, anxiety, and overwhelming fear that would sometime consume Frankie. Even here with you, it sometimes felt as though he was still back there, never truly able to be completely present. You think of the many nights when he was on leave these past few years, and he would wake up screaming and trashing in the middle of the night covered in cold sweats. Or when you guys would be out and about, and his eyes would shift with practiced zeal as if he was assessing for possible threats. Never really “turning off”. No amount of sweet reassuring words was ever able to soothe him when he found himself stuck within his own mind. Every time you tried to discuss these concerns with him, your husband would respond with calm reassurances, followed by a tender kiss on your forehead, urging you not to worry about him.

You shake your head, a resolute movement meant to, again, brush away the intrusive thoughts lingering on the periphery, refusing to let them dim this precious moment. You shift your gaze, fixating on the horizon of possibilities that stretches before you. It is a horizon where love acts as a healing balm, gently tending to the myriad wounds etched upon your husband's past. Your heart, though cautiously guarded, brims with a glimmer of hope, eager to embark on this journey together.

However, despite your best efforts, thoughts of your mother insidiously infiltrate your mind. Over the years, you've clashed with her on countless occasions, yet now, as a married woman, you think back on her warning before you got married. The resonating echo of her stern voice lingers in your thoughts, admonishing you to unwaveringly stand by your husband, regardless of the circumstances, and emphasizing that his happiness must always take precedence over everything else. Strangely, she never mentioned the reverse. With Frankie's return, you resolve to be more present, leaving daydreams behind and focusing on him and solely on him.

As you think of Frankie, you can clearly see his body and how it bears the evidence of his service, a map of scars, some worn openly, while others hide beneath his weary flesh. Deep wounds that bleed and pain him more than any bullet ever could. Words alone seem insufficient in the face of everything he has sacrificed. But now, Frankie is finally home, all of this is behind you two. And isn't all this what marriage vows were meant for? In sickness and in health, through the lows and the highs, you pledged to be there. As you remind yourself, supporting your husband doesn't diminish your strength and independence. It's merely an expression of love and partnership, you firmly resolve, even though the words ring somewhat hollow, as a voice in the back of your mind whispers, "But what about you?"

You slowly redirect your attention to the persistent itchiness on your skin. Taking three deep breaths, you allow each inhale and exhale to anchor you firmly into the present. As the air fills your lungs, you feel your shoulders slowly ease from the tension you always seem to put yourself under.

Now that Frankie is here to stay, you want nothing else than to provide the emotional solace and respite he needs to rebuild and find peace within himself. After everything Frankie has endured, you decide that he deserves a life that is predictably dull yet safe and warm. You want to build that life for him.

As your imagination runs rampant with visions of the life you're now free to construct together, Frankie emerges in the doorway. Clad in nothing more than a familiar, well-worn pair of briefs, he exudes an aura that is unmistakably his own—a blend of warmth, comfort, and a sense of home. In that instant, as you gaze at each other, it feels as though every small longing you held during Frankie's absence has converged into this singular moment. Nothing else matters to you right now except being with him.

In Frankie's hands, he carefully balances a tray, on it a tall glass of ice-cold water adorned with glistening condensation. The hunger stirs within you and your gaze falls upon two perfectly crafted PB and J sandwiches, invitingly prepared. It's evident that even now, the precise conditioning instilled by the army remains ingrained in Frankie. The unwavering precision, tidiness, and discipline persist, even amidst post-coital bliss. Sloppily prepared sandwiches? Never on Frankie’s watch.

Fondness envelops your heart, causing it to flutter with an intensity that threatens to burst from your chest. At this moment, a culmination of experiences floods your mind—the countless sleepless nights spent anxiously awaiting a call, the fear that gripped you while scouring the news for any shred of information, and Frankie's inability to share the depths of what he went through all race to the forefront of your mind. Now, as you reminisce about those moments when others would claim that being with Frankie wasn't worth the pain or hardships, a profound sense of satisfaction fills your heart. You're grateful for having ignored their words, as every single challenge and difficulty encountered along the way—the long-distance separations, the emotional uncertainties, and the sacrifices made—has ultimately proven to mean something. A smile mirrors your own overwhelming happiness as Frankie starts to walk toward the bed.

"I thought you'd have an appetite after all that exercise," Frankie says, his voice laced with a playful tone. His eyes, warm like melted chocolate, cradle you in their soft gaze. They speak volumes, no words needed, telling you just how much he cares.

A mischievous smile tugs at the corners of your lips as you playfully quip, "Guess it doesn't help that we skipped dinner either, huh?"

"I apologize, mi cielo. I suppose I let my excitement get the better of me," Frankie admits, a touch of boyish bashfulness colouring his tone. "After eight long months apart, how could you expect me not to pounce on you, especially when you look so breathtaking?"

With utmost care, Frankie gently places the tray on the tiny side table, taking special care to move aside the book you're currently engrossed in. With the task completed, he turns his gaze towards you, slowly making his way to your side. Your eyes lock, and in an instant, he tenderly captures your mouth with his own. The kiss is unhurried yet filled with an intense passion, a promise of all that is to come, a fulfillment of the multitude of promises you have made to each other. Now, you have all the time in the world to embrace those promises.

As the kiss deepens, Frankie's hands begin to explore your naked body, their touch igniting a fiery desire that resonates deep within you. It engulfs you in a passionate longing that intensifies with each passing second. Frankie's wandering hands halt at your hips, where he gently strokes your sides while deepening the kiss even further. Breaking the kiss, he presses his forehead against yours, both of you breathing heavily, his warm breath mingling with your own. A playful glimmer dance in Frankie’s brown eyes as he firmly grabs your hips, effortlessly flipping you both into the deep plushness of the bed.

A delighted squeal escapes your throat, and you find yourself on top of Frankie, straddling his warm hips. His devilish smile meets your gaze. Like a tidal wave, a rush of excitement cascades through you, electrifying your senses and igniting newfound energy within.

"I thought we were supposed to have dinner," you playfully tease, your hands resting on the firm planes of his pectorals.

Frankie's eyes glisten mischievously as he responds, his voice filled with playful affection, "Don't worry, hermosa. Dinner can wait another minute. Right now, all I want to do is admire you." With a tender touch, he grabs a handful of the fleshy part of your hips, gently massaging your sides. His voice carries on, laced with adoration, "You know, this angle is my favourite. When I see you from above, naked, and sweaty, you look like my very own Amazon. My fierce warrior queen whom I can’t wait to worship." His grip tightens possessively, playfully swatting your behind, causing your flesh to softly jiggle.

You can't help but snort with amusement, firmly grinding down in a slow sensuous movement Frankie exhales a low moan, his eyes closing in pleasure. Yielding to the temptation, you momentarily cease your ministrations and whisper, "Well, last time I checked, librarians weren't renowned for their battle prowess.”

Frankie's smile stretches, his eyes opening and locking with yours, while his hands gently secure your hips. His soft voice echoes sweetly, "Physical prowess is just a fraction of true strength, mi cielo. It's a mindset, a spirit that radiates courage and perseverance. Believe me when I tell you, you possess that strength in a way that surpasses anyone I've ever encountered."

His words envelop you in a comforting embrace that floods your being with warmth. Reflected in his eyes is an unwavering conviction, a faith given to you unlike any you've experienced before. Such belief, one you've never even held for yourself, captivates you. The weight of his words resonates deeply, shaking the core of your being, even as you strive to maintain a facade of nonchalance. But Frankie effortlessly sees through your charade, knowing you better than he knows himself at this point. He slowly pushes his upper body upward and starts peppering your collarbones with tender kisses. You feel your cheeks heating as you shyly avert your gaze, unable to resist the sweetness of his praise and the even sweeter ministration.

A brief moment passes, during which you nibble on your lower lip, contemplating your next words. Finally, you muster the courage to meet Frankie's eyes once more, you push him back down on the mattress and ask, a mischievous glint shining in your eyes, "If I am to be your queen, does that mean you're willing to obey my every command?”

A playful smile dances on Frankie's lips as he replies, "Well, mi cielo, let's just say I'm more than willing to embark on the thrilling adventure of fulfilling your every desire, one command at a time." With those words, Frankie softly grabs your right arm, the very arm that had been holding him down, and he punctuates each word with a tender kiss upon the palm of your hand. As he does so, his eyes gently close, allowing his lips to linger in their affectionate embrace, locked in that sweet moment.

Frankie surrenders to the present, savouring every precious second that slowly passes between the two of you. The ache of longing for you these past months had been insurmountable, a void that only you could fill. Amidst his world engulfed in chaos, pain, and the remanence of a haunting trail of death that seemed eternally imprinted on his very being, your presence at his side has always been the sole beacon of meaning and coherence. The only thing that ever truly mattered to him. Screw everything else; he should have chosen to stay home long ago, before feeling trapped in the abyss he felt he had dug himself into over the years. In an attempt to dispel the encroaching darkness threatening to envelop him, Frankie inhales deeply, pushing away those grim thoughts, before swiftly flipping you over.

Everything else fades away again, and only the two of you remain. As you draw in a deep breath, the air fills your lungs with a trembling intensity, causing a burning sensation. Your chest tightens, not just from the weight of Frankie's presence, but also from the weight of everything that surrounds you, suffocating you in its bittersweet grasp. Tenderly, Frankie gently presses his nose against yours, once, twice, before planting a soft kiss upon its tip.

"I promise you, mi cielo, there is nothing that can ever come between us. No war, no ruler, no divine power could ever separate me from you. I am yours for eternity, and as long as I get to spend my life with you, cariño, it would have been a life worth living."

Your eyes well up with tears, and with a quiver in your voice, you whisper, "I love you, Frankie."

"Te amo, mi cielo, te amo para siempre," he replies, his words carrying the weight of a vow between you two.

With intertwined fingers and hearts overflowing with love, you gaze into each other's eyes. As you lie there, wrapped in the afterglow of passion, you savour the tranquillity and completeness that permeates the room. You vow to cherish each day, to embrace the ordinary moments that always become extraordinary when you are with Frankie. Together, you will face the world with open hearts, ready to create this future you’ve always yearned for with Frankie. As Frankie peppers kisses down your throat, you smile, and a shuddering breath escapes you. Food can wait you think giddily. Your hands gently glide along the broad expanse of his back, savouring him in all his glorious being. Nothing else matters now, for Frankie is home.

#frankie morales #frankie catfish morales #triple frontier #frankie x reader #frankie morales x you #francisco morales x reader #triple frontier fic #francisco morales fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #angst with a happy ending #angsty #angst #fluff and angst #so much angst #ao3 #fanfic #pedro pascal fic

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heyyallitsbeth · 10 months

Text

Trigger warning for self harm, eating disorder and suicide references Okay I've seen some serious stuff an uncomfortable amount in the past few weeks so i need to talk about this. A lot of men have been opening up about loneliness and this recent exposure of it has been called the "male loneliness epidemic". and ive seen a concerning amount of people talking about how its just men making themselves victims, or how theyre just incels. And guys. Guys.

Men can be victims of toxic masculinity.

The facts are, men are far more likely to commit suicide than women, as well as develop drug addictions and alcoholism. Men on average also have smaller friend groups than women. And this all stems from toxic masculinity, bottling up emotions, not being able to open yourself up to others, to make those connections and develop healthy coping mechanisms. People end up turning to drugs and self harm as a result, since they think nobody will care. And why wouldnt they think that? Society has drilled it into their heads since birth. Men are always told to tough it out, to suck it up, that tears are weakness, that boys dont cry.

I'm a trans woman, I remember distinctly all of these phrases repeated by adults, teachers, parents, friends. It's especially worse in western society like the UK and US where physical affection like hugs are far more uncommon, especially for men. I first experienced depression when i was in middle school. And despite trying to talk to parents and counselors, my condition wasn't taken seriously until I eventually had a full breakdown and passed out from not eating in highschool. Personally, I am very lucky. Two friends were able to saved me from a suicide attempt by calling me and talking me down in time. And I only reconnected with that friend due to my transition. We were able to reconcile about arguments in the past and moved forward becoming good friends. The other friend I only met because of my transition. My friend group grew when I was a girl, it was easier to be open and honest. If I was in the same spot only a few years prior, I would have been dead.

And people are making fun of these guys for opening up like this now, saying everyone is lonely, that its not a uniquely male experience. Like you do realize you are QUITE LITERALLY proving to them what they've feared, that nobody cares. And people are always saying "oh this is a trend why is this the first time people are talking about this". Maybe its because we just went through a period of isolation and that time locked in their rooms caused a spiral of depression that made them reflect on their lives? Maybe because as a whole we are experiencing a mental health crisis worldwide? Maybe because through the modern internet we've never been more connected than now?

Yes men have privileges, that doesnt mean that they dont struggle and have issues too. Their opportunities and privileges do not negate their struggles. Toxic systems hurt everyone.

Personally, I'm now doing better, although sometimes I do slip into that deep depression, but I have better ways of fighting it now. And I'm lucky to have some friends who I know truly do care, as well as a loving partner. And while they dont follow me on tumblr, I just wanted to say, Thank You to Evan and Shi.

#male loneliness #male loneliness epidemic #depression

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writer-darling · 2 years

Text

Lay All Your Love on Me

Rating: E - (EXPLICIT - MINORS DNI!)

Pairing: Ezra (Prospect) x F!Reader

Warnings: (This is gonna be a lot) Toxic habits in relationships. Ezra being stubborn and not taking no as an answer (seriously, unhealthy, but this is not a huge issue). Stalking. Murder (both senseless and in self-defense). Desire. Obsession. An almost sexual assault (this is brief and there is nothing descriptive and it ends before anything major happens). Two lovers who are legitimately crazy for one another. Becomes a bit of a Bonnie-and-Clyde situation by the end (but with a happy ending!). Two POV switches (starts with Reader, brief glimpse to Ezra, then back to Reader for the remainder). Suggestive language. Adult language. Sexual situations. Using sex as a coping mechanism kinda?? Probably a ton more that I’m not recalling so seriously, if there are any warnings that I missed please let me know and I will add them in. Oh also this is not proof-read at all so there’s that too.

Word Count: 7.5k

Summary!: This is a spiritual successor to one of my very first one shots “Never Ever Getting Rid of Me” (read here). Be warned though, they’re both on v e r y opposing sides of the spectrum and uh basically, THIS IS GONNA GET DARK, Y’ALL.

A/N: Please be prepared to suspend your disbeliefs for just about everything! Realistically, I trust that my audience is well-informed and knows that this is fanfiction and should not be taken 100% seriously, HOWEVER, considering the subject matter, let me say: NONE OF THE BEHAVIORS DISPLAYED IN THIS WORK SHOULD BE ADMIRED, REPLICATED, OR CONDONED IN REAL LIFE EVER. THIS IS A FICTIONAL STORY AND NONE OF THE BEHAVIORS SHOWN HERE ARE HEALTHY, GOOD, OR SMART. THAT'S IT. PLEASE USE VIEWER DISCRETION FROM THIS POINT ONWARD. Other than that, say a little prayer, turn the lights down, and enjoy the show. :)

******

“Please, darlin’ give me another chance?” The hurt look in his brown eyes stings, but you act unaffected, shaking your head as you step further back into your home, away from the newly opened front door.

“Ezra, this is the last time we’re doing this. I need space.” You repeat what you’ve said to him what feels like a million times in the last two weeks.

“I know, I know sweetheart. I just- I can’t understand what went wrong! Did something happen? Did I do something? I thought things were going exceedingly well between us!” As much as you want to, you can’t argue with that. Things had been going “exceedingly well” as he put it. Having been together for about a year at this point, things were on the verge of becoming serious with you two. And, frankly, that had terrified you. You knew you were usually The Runner in your relationships and this had been no different. Ezra, this relationship, your feelings, it was all perfect. Too perfect. So, you had broken things off on a random whim when he had finally said the three words that always sent you running: I love you. The deep, wounded puppy-dog pathetic-ness you had seen in his eyes that night was the same one that you saw now.

“They were, and now they’re not, ok? Now please, just leave.” You say.

“Baby, please-” You close the door before he can get another word out, not wanting to hear a new round of begging. You wait a few minutes by the door before you finally hear his quiet steps as he leaves. As much as it hurts, you know this is for the best. Soon, he’ll get over you. Soon, he’ll move on. He just needs an incentive. And you know just what kind to give him.

“That cute guy over at table 9 keeps looking your way, hun.” Cee says as she picks up the order of pancakes, extra-crispy bacon and orange juice for table 4. Your eyes drift to table 9 and the guy sitting there quickly averts his gaze, slightly going red in the face as he forces his eyes to focus on the open menu in his hands. You smile gently, making your way over and bringing your notebook and pen out.

“Good morning, can I start you off with something to drink, or are you ready to order?” You ask kindly, putting on your best smile.

“I uh, I’ll have a coffee please.” He says, pushing his glasses further up on the bridge of his nose.

“Absolutely. I’ll be right back with that.” He smiles and nods and you go to grab him a fresh cup. Over small talk over the course of the interaction, he asks you for your number and you smile, providing it for him. He’s charming - in an awkward sort of way. He’s funny too, and seems sweet enough. Oddly, he reminds you of Ezra in some ways. He tells you that he’s new in town, just passing through as he looks for a place to start over, but he plans to stay for a couple weeks. You tell him that’s wonderful and you’d love to show him around some time. Despite the nice encounter, you feel the hair at the back of your neck stand on end, unable to shake the feeling of being watched. You all but forget about it when you rejoin Cee at the counter, putting your $15 tip from the man you now know as Henry into your apron pocket.

“So???” Cee asks hopefully as you grab a fresh plate of blueberry stacks for Mr. Whitmore at table 12.

“We planned a little something in a couple of weeks before he moves on to another town, ok?”

“Great! Ok you gotta call me afterwards and give me all the details.” You wave her off dismissively as a couple of customers line up at the register to pay for their meals.

He can’t handle this. Not this, anything but this. All he can see as he closes his eyes is his beloved girl’s smile as she kept talking to that idiot. That smile that makes him feel like lungs are collapsing, like his heart is close to exploding. That smile that’s had him head over fucking heels since he laid eyes on her. That smile that he’s claimed as his. Now that smile was going to some random schmuck who, if he had to bet, probably couldn’t even get it up. There was no way that nonentity could satisfy her like he could. Ezra knew it and she knew it... She knew it right? He tries to shake it from his memory but the very image of that interaction is seared into his brain, cloaked in red. The very same red of his boiling blood as his mind goes into a frenzy. He feels the desire to break each and every one of that loser’s teeth over take him, leaving him with a metallic taste in his mouth and a sour feeling in his abdomen. His hands clench and unclench into tense fists as he paces his apartment floor, the knuckles strained white against his skin. While a part of him yearns to show up on her door and get down on his knees, begging her to take him back like he’s done so many times these past couple of weeks, the other, louder part of him wants nothing more than to see that fuckwit gone. If he could think, just think for one goddamn second and get his emotions under control he could will himself to calm down but he can’t. All he feels is anger and betrayal burning through him as hot as a thousand suns. He’s not sure if he wants to die or kill but anything would be better than this unbearable burning within him. He’s spent all hours of the night trying to tame it but it’s impossible. Before he can stop himself, he’s grabbing his car keys and storming out the front door, slamming his apartment door behind him as he makes his way into the early dawn.

As your date with Henry draws closer, the feeling of being watched grows more and more persistent. Before you know it, you find yourself glancing over your shoulder as you’re walking around town, when shopping, when doing just about anything. At night, the feeling is worse, no longer dulled by the company of others. It’s driving you mad. The descent is quick. Especially when it begins to disturb your sleep. You’re exhausted both alone and at work. It disturbs the easy flow of the diner, and your regular flirty big-tippers have even begun to stay away. Still, you try to put on a brave face, not letting it affect your mood while on the clock too much.

“Sweetie, you’ve got a box waiting for you in the backroom! Just arrived a few minutes ago!” Your elderly coworker Dolores calls to you. You’ve just begun refilling the napkins dispensers. You nod and set everything on the counter.

“Ok, I’ll take a look, thanks Dolores!” You head to the back, just as Cee comes out from the bathroom, wiping her washed hands on her clean apron.

“What’s that?” She asks as you both walk over to the black box. It’s fairly large, with the box made of sturdy cardstock and tied with a white bow. There’s a card attached to it. You grab it and it has a simple inscription: Tu Semper Eris Mei.

“You’ve got a secret admirer!” Cee says, smiling as she reads over the card. “What is that? Spanish?” She asks.

“Pretty sure it’s not.” You roll your eyes as you untie the box. “It’s probably Ezra, Cee.” But no, it isn’t. It can’t be. Ezra wouldn’t send you a dozen red roses with…

“Is that blood???” Cee asks, and she shrieks, causing you to react, pushing the box away from you. Your blood runs cold as you push the flowers aside, as your eyes zero in on the fresh blood drenching the flowers. Some of it is drying down, but the rest continues dripping, pooling at the bottom edge of the box.

“What the actual fuck?” Cee asks, sounding horrified. “What kind of sick fuck would do something like this?”

You haven’t spoken in a long time, frozen in place as you reach out and brush the petals of one of the roses against your fingers. It’s velvet soft and you feel a thrill run down your spine. Cee calls your name and it’s like you’ve been awoken from a dream. You jump and drop the box back down on the counter. You turn and she’s looking at you in concern, her eyes searching for an equally horrified expression that mirrors her own. But you don’t feel horrified… instead you feel… oddly flattered? And that terrifies you more than the contents of the box.

“Are you ok?” She asks, walking over to you and squeezing your elbow gently as a show of comfort. You nod, shaking out of it.

“Yeah, sorry, just shocked I guess.”

“Yeah no shit. Should we file a report? Call the police?” She asks, her eyes again going to the box. You both turn as you hear your names being called by Dolores, likely already needing your help.

“No, no I- uh… look it’s probably just some sick prank. Here, I’ll just get rid of these. You go help Dolores, I’ll be out in a sec.” You say, grabbing the box.

“Are you sure?” Cee asks, already fixing her apron.

“Yeah, absolutely. I’ll be fine.” You offer her a tight smile and, despite the doubt in her eyes, she does as you suggest, calling out to Dolores as she goes. You grab the box, irritated now. You walk over to the trash can, glad that it's empty. You huff and throw in the entire box - flowers and all - before you cry out as you feel a sharp sting on your index finger.

“Fuck!” You pull your hand away and see that one of the thorns must’ve pricked it. You stare at the droplet of blood that collects on the tip of your finger, hypnotized as it overflows slightly and drips down the side. You get the oddest sensation of being watched and look up, glancing around the room, but obviously there’s nothing. You finally shake the daze away a final time, wiping the blood on the inner bottom hem of your dress before making your way back out to the front, willing your thoughts back into work mode.

“So, I’m probably jumping the gun a bit but in case it doesn’t work out with Henry… I have this friend…” Cee starts. You groan, shaking your head. You walk over to the nearest booth, cleaning up the table as Cee wipes down the booth beside yours. The shift was fast, ending before you could even process it. What had transpired in the kitchen now living in the back of your mind.

“Cee, not again, please?” You beg.

“You haven’t even heard what I’m gonna say!” She says defensively, grabbing the dirty rag and taking it to a bin of rags/towels to wash.

“That’s because I already know where this is headed! You’re gonna give me that whole ‘He’s a great guy, really sweet, you both will have so much fun together!’ speech again and I’m gonna end up at another shitty bar, way overdressed and trying to make conversation with a wet napkin!” She rolls her eyes, walking back over to you.

“Okay so the last few dates weren’t a good match for you but I know this one will be! Look, his name is Adam and he’s my sister’s co-worker! He likes to paint, and he makes an amazing Pasta Carbonara! C’mon, hun, I told him about you and he really wants to meet you! Can I give him your number and get the ball rolling?” She gives you her best puppy eyes and you sigh, shaking your head.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” you mumble more to yourself than her. “Alright, fine. One date. Just tell him to text me and we can see where it goes, ok?” She grins and hugs you.

“You won’t regret this, promise!” She happily goes to the kitchen, likely to get her phone from where it’s charging. You go back to your cleaning but stop when a burst of lightning goes off, thunder following it a moment later. You curse under your breath and quickly remove your apron, hanging it up and quickly timing out using both yours and Cee’s timecards.

“Ready to go?” You ask as you grab your things from the storage locker, handing Cee her things.

“Oh yeah, that was a thunderstorm wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, big one, headed straight for us. We better go before it starts coming down.”

The day of the date finally comes and goes in a blur. Henry hasn’t reached out, but you hope that your plans are still on. The skies have been a dark grey since yesterday’s storm but there’s no forecast of bad weather. As you’re cleaning up, your phone vibrates in your pocket, you see that a text from Henry has finally arrived, confirming your plans. Pleased, you respond back quickly, letting him know that you’ll meet up with him at the nearest park, knowing that the nightly Trader’s Market opens at sundown. It’s a nice date choice, a common one for both you and Ezra. As your ex comes into your mind again, you realize he hasn’t bothered you once the last few weeks. Not since you slammed your front door in his face. You’re surprised at the sting that you feel at that, but you brush it off. Maybe he finally got the message.

Once outside your front door, you spot the box tucked behind one of your large potted plants. You go cold as you see that it’s the same color, size, and tied with the same ribbon as the flowers from yesterday. Don’t pick it up, don’t pick it up. You do anyway, unable to stop yourself. Your spine tenses as that familiar sensation from before returns and you distract yourself by grabbing the box tighter and then fishing your housekeys out of your bag. You unlock your door and go inside, locking both the main door and the deadbolt once inside. You place the box on your kitchen table, set your things down, and decide to stop the tense dread you feel. Finally, you open the box.

It’s beautiful, the skirt stopping right at your calves. The design is simple but beautiful, an off-white that’s closer to the color of fresh cream than stark white. The material is light, but feels expensive to the touch. The corset is sturdy, but comfortable, form-fitting, with two strings of ribbon that criss-cross and are meant to tie at the back. You place it close to your form. It’s perfect. Wait, who sent this? You look for a card as you set the dress carefully on the table. It falls out from the corner of the top of the box. Again, no inscription, just the same phrase as before. You pull up your phone and type it into the search bar. It’s Latin, to your surprise. Who bothered to know Latin these days? The meaning makes your blood go ice cold. You’ll Always Be Mine.

You jump and curse out loud as another roll of thunder scares the bejeezus out of you. You take a moment to look in the mirror and make sure your makeup looks good. Almost perfect, just needs a little more mascara. You unscrew the cap of the mascara tube and swirl it in the bullet to get plenty of product. You remove the brush from the bullet and lean closer to the mirror in order to get close enough to add a final layer of mascara. It’s been about half an hour since you’ve begun getting ready for the date, showering and deciding to wear your new dress at the last minute. It was the nicest thing you owned now.

“Oh fuck!” You yell as the lights all suddenly go out. You continue cursing under your breath as you fumble around for your phone. You find it fairly quickly but curse again when you see that it’s down to twenty percent. At that moment, a text from Henry comes in, letting you know that due to the sudden electrical storm, he wouldn’t be able to meet tonight. You type back a quick, short reply and feel the relief wash over you of not having to finish getting ready. You walk into the kitchen, going to the cabinet under the sink where you usually store the candles. You grab a couple, since you’re not currently sure how long this outage will last. You also grab a lighter from the junk drawer under the spice drawer. Your phone dies just as you’re lighting the wick and you let out a huff of frustration.

“What the hell do you think you’re doin’, sweetheart?” The low drawl makes you jump out of your skin and you turn to see Ezra standing there. Gone is the neutral attire he usually dons, instead dressed in all-black clothing, devoid of any light or brightness. The look on his face is a quiet fury that you know you’ve never seen on his face before.

“Ezra? What are you doing in my apartment??” You ask. He doesn’t respond, just glowers at the dress in your hands.

“Are you wearin’ my gift for him?” He asks, and his voice somehow goes lower. You glance at it then at him.

“You sent this?” You ask, but he ignores your question.

“Are you??”

“Who, Ezra?”

“That fucking pervert from the diner.”

“The perv-“ You realize who he’s referring to and shake your head, an uncomfortable laugh escaping you, but it dies in your throat when you see the pure rage in his eyes. You clear your throat, your adrenaline spiking. “Ezra, he was just some customer. I wasn’t going to-“

“Don’t.” He warns, stepping towards you. “Don’t you dare think you’ll get away with lyin’ to me, sweetheart.” Now you’re offended. “Is this what you’ve been doin’ all this time, hmm?” He stays away and every part of you wishes that he would just come closer. “Fuckin’ some random asshole so you can try to get me out of your system?” You cross your arms over your chest, trying not to let yourself get riled up, trying to focus on your anger instead as you silently glare at him.

“Answer me!” He yells, and you flinch, surprised. He had never so much as raised his voice at you. Not even when he was mad at you, the few times he had been. His anger was always quiet, internal. He really only expressed it once the anger was gone, either gotten over or buried so deep it would never see the light of day.

“No, damnit! And even if I was, it’s none of your business!” You yell back and he finally comes closer, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

“Wrong! It is my business because no one should be seeing you in that dress other than me!” His eyes are burning at you, making your skin feel like it’s been set on fire.

“Ha!” You say, leaning towards him with a stern look on your face. “You don’t own me, Ezra.”

“Wrong again, sweetheart. You’re mine as much as I am yours.” He growls quietly and a hot shiver runs down your spine as his eyes bore into you, daring you to challenge his claim on you. It finally all clicks together.

“It was you wasn’t it??” You ask, and your voice holds a tinge of horror but also intrigue. He raises an eyebrow in silent question. “The-The flowers. The blood. It was you??” Your tone isn’t accusatory, it’s actually full of genuine surprise.

“Yes it was.” Even after that admission, you’re shaking your head in denial as you step away from him, a laugh of disbelief stumbling its way out of your throat. If it was him, where did he get the blood?

“Oh god, oh fuck, Henry.”

“There you go. You got it.” He repeats, his honesty genuine.

“Wait, you saw us that day at the diner. You’ve-You’ve been watching me. You’ve been using his phone to answer my texts??”

“Stalking is the preferred term, sweetheart. Yes I have.” His tone is flippant and it makes you angry. It all hits you now and you feel acid in the pit of your stomach. Still, a part of you is begging you to deny it. Whoever this was, it wasn’t Ezra, it just couldn’t be. I mean this was the man who preferred to just capture a bug and set it outside rather than kill it because ‘it’s still a life, sweetheart.’ So to hear that he had possibly just murdered someone was impossible for you to come to terms with. He possibly just murdered someone.

“What did you do, Ezra?” You ask, unable to mask the terror that overtakes your face. You feel your heart rate pick up, and there’s a ringing in your ears.

“You need me to spell it out for you, pretty thing?” He asks, one side of his mouth quirking up into a rueful smile. RUN your body screams, so you do, bolting out of the room and further into the house. The candle goes out immediately, and you drop it instantly. You run down the hallway, and back into the bedroom, slamming the door shut behind you. You almost go for the window, but his voice stops you.

“You know I’d never hurt you.” His voice is growing louder, and you know he’s followed you, but you don’t hear loud footfalls as if he’s running towards you. He’s walking then. You have some time. “Despite everything in me telling me I should, I can’t!” He yells now and the suddenness of it spurs you into action. You glance around the room and spot your nightstand drawer. You reach in there blindly and pull out,

“Son of a bitch!” You whisper to yourself as your fingers grip the cylindrical body of your vibrator. What? You’ve been lonely. Something that wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t dumped the only man who ever actually made you come. Your inner rationale snaps back. Along with the murder on your hands now. Thank you brain for being so condescending and useless while my life is literally in danger! A knock on the door makes you jump and you drop the vibrator back into the drawer, which you slam shut. Your eyes drop down and you see your only saving grace now, getting down flat on your stomach as you slither under your bed. He speaks again, this time his voice eerily quiet,

“Darlin’, open the door.” He pleads, his voice stable and quiet. You don’t respond, don’t even breathe as you wait him out. You hear him sigh and a minute later hear the door knob jiggling. There’s a click and a slight creak as the door slides open. He must’ve picked the lock. Where the fuck did he learn that? His steps are heavy, but muffled by the carpet. You watch his boots to your right linger still for a few minutes, and can see him in your mind’s eye, scanning the room. You watch his feet move and hear him go to the closet and open it loudly, the double doors slamming against the wall. You place your hand over your mouth to silence your breathing as much as possible. Your heart is so loud in your ears, you’re praying to every deity in the universe that he won’t hear it. The adrenaline is making you tremble, and your breathing is becoming shaky and unstable. He goes into the closet, and flicks on the light switch, looking for you quietly. As he turns to look back into the bedroom, his gaze lands on you under the bed. Your blood goes cold as he smirks, raising an eyebrow.

“Got you.” You try to crawl out and run but he’s faster, grabbing you by your arms. His grip is firm, immobile, but you can tell he’s being careful not to bruise you. “You don't have to run from me.” He says, quietly.

“I do if you plan on killing me.” You reply, your voice too calm, too light in comparison to the panic running through you.

“I don’t plan on killing you.” He says, brushing your hair back from your eyes.

“Then what do you want, Ezra?” You ask.

“I want to remind you that my threats have never been hollow, darlin’. I keep my word, always.” He says. “Additionally, I’ve been dying to do this,” He cups the back of your head and brings your mouth to his, kissing you with a fervor that steals the breath from your lungs. His warmth, his scent, his taste immediately floods your senses and you melt against him, your knees almost buckling as you grab onto him. This is the fiercest kiss he’s ever given you and it’s sending you into a goddamn tailspin, everything in you begging for him. His tongue gently delves into your mouth and you open up to him immediately, whimpering quietly as he licks. When he pulls away from you, both of you running out of breath at the same time, his hand moves from your hair to cup your jaw. You open your eyes and the intensity in his gaze creates a lump in your throat. Before you can beg him to stay, he tears away from you like you’ve burned him. “No more. No more begging, no more pleading. If this is what you want, what you’re choosing, then I’ll leave you alone. I’ll stay close, to protect you. I’ll always protect you. But I won’t interfere anymore. Goodbye, sweetheart.” Without another word, he turns and leaves, closing your bedroom door. A few seconds later, you hear the front door close and you finally unfreeze from your shocked state, gently touching your bruised lips as you let out a shaky breath, hearing your racing heartbeat in your ears.

For the most part, he keeps true to his word. There’s no more strange happenings after this. No more odd disturbances in your atmosphere. Even the customers have noticed, freely flirting and offering compliments as you’re used to. But, there’s still that feeling of being watched, surveillanced. It sets you on edge, but not in the way it was before. Now, it’s this unaddressed want, need. It aches like you’ve never felt before. The urge to see him lives like a permanent itch under your skin that you can’t get rid of. The more days pass, the stronger it grows. And you know he feels it too, you’re unsure of how you know, but you do. Your brain begins to formulate a plan. It’s dangerous and stupid, probably the stupidest thing you’ve ever done, but stupidity be damned. You need him back.

“Adam’s getting impatient!” Cee calls out in a sing-song voice. She’s been mentioning him nearly every hour since you told her about Henry “cancelling your date.” You roll your eyes as you bring over your drinks. The bar is fairly quiet, an easy Friday night surprisingly. As you look around, you think you spot a familiar face in the crowd, but it’s gone as soon as you blink. It must have been him.

“Tell Adam we’re on for tonight.” You tell Cee, meeting her eyes.

“Wait, really?” She almost chokes on her beer in surprise, covering her mouth for a moment. You nod, making it seem nonchalant.

“Yeah, why not? Might as well, right?” You shrug, sipping your own drink. She lets out a short squeal of glee and nods, already pulling out her phone.

“You won’t regret this I promise! Oh he’s gonna be so excited!”

“I’m already regretting this.” You mutter to yourself as you try to psyche yourself up for your date. You’re dressed, this time in some simple jeans and a nice blouse. As you’re fixing your hair, the doorbell rings and you go to answer, taking a deep breath.

Turns out your suspicions were correct. This Adam guy was a total dumbass. He was simple enough, but he couldn’t hold a conversation, forcing you to ask him questions instead of having a proper talk. He’s also generally basic and boring. It doesn’t seem like he enjoys either of his hobbies or wants to talk about anything other than what he plans to do with his future. Another dud for Cee. You two eat dinner in an awkward silence, and your mind constantly goes to Ezra, wondering if he’s watching you bore yourself to death with Adam. Ezra would know how to have a conversation. He’d know how to ask and answer questions, how to show interest, how to tell good stories. He always told the best stories. As the night comes to an end, you two move to the couch, and you make sure to stay on one end, cuddling into the corner next to the coffee table with a metal paperweight. Adam has downed more than a couple glasses of wine and his speech is slurring just a bit, another thing you can’t stand. He smiles in that hazy-eyed way and moves a little closer.

“You’re really pretty you know.” He says and you offer a tight smile.

“Thanks, Adam.” You say.

“I know better than anyone how lonely it gets. It-” he cuts off with a hiccup, moving another inch closer. “It gets really lonely.”

“Yeah it does.” You say, nodding in agreement.

“Maybe… we can keep each other company, right?” He says, placing a hand on your knee. That makes you jump and you shoot up off of the couch.

“Look, this was a mistake, I shouldn’t have invited you here. I’m sorry.”

“I just got here and you’re kicking me out?” You’re surprised that he sounds so upset but you stand your ground.

“Like I said, I’m sorry. But I’m really not in the mood to have company. I thought I was but-”

“You… You invite me here to get me drunk and then, then you just-just expect me to leave??” He stands now and you shrink closer to the couch. His entire demeanor changes, a wicked glint in his eye. “No, I don’t think so.” You yell as you grab the paperweight from the table, ramming it into the side of his head. Once, twice. But then you just keep going. He moves back and drops to the floor. As you pull your hand back you see that the sharp edge of the weight pierced his skull and is now covered in blood that’s begun to drip down your hand. Confused, you move quickly and drop to the floor close to him. With a trembling hand, you touch the injury and watch as more blood coats your fingertips. The rest of it grows into a deep stain, much more quickly than you anticipated and some of it stains the knees of your pants before you notice and move back with a yelp.. The shock and horror of what you’ve just done quickly settles in, creating bile that rises in your throat. The world spins and you shut your eyes, shaking your head furiously.

“No, no, no, no, NO!” Tears stream down your face and you begin to hit your forehead with a closed fist, as if that will somehow will this entire awful night away.

“Sweetheart, look at me. Look at me!” You open your eyes, stopping your movements and Ezra is now crouching in front of you, at your direct eye level. You never heard him come in. “It’s ok. You’re ok. You’re safe. I’m here.” He says.

“No, no I’m not E-Ezra I just killed-!” Your voice teeters on hysteria but he cuts you off, placing his hands on your upper arms gently.

“Hey, listen to me: this was his fault. He attacked you. You were defending yourself.” He says, looking deeply into your eyes, trying to bring you back from the brink of insanity.

“I was defending myself…?” You try to repeat it, but it sounds wrong, ending in a question. Still, he nods slowly, encouraging you.

“Yes. You were defending yourself. Now, come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” You let him pull you up into a standing position and he pivots you back towards the bathroom.

“B-But Adam-!”

“Will be dealt with momentarily.” His voice remains calm, even. “Let me clean you up first, yeah?” He meets your eyes again and you nod, trusting him. He kisses your hair and resumes guiding you to the bathroom.

He’s fast, getting you cleaned up in about 20 minutes. You go into a state of dream-like catatonia, just barely aware of his voice soothing you and asking you for consent that this is all ok as he works. He showers you, scrubbing every inch of you clean, twice. You watch as the pink blood-and-water mixture trickles down the drain, and it feels like a scene from a movie. After he’s dried you off, it suddenly all hits you again. You begin crying, not realizing the loud sobs you hear are your own until he pulls you into him, holding you until you’ve calmed down. When your sobs turn to quiet gasps as you try to catch your breath, he leaves you. He finds you clothing to wear, and carefully helps you into them, the cotton of the pj set he’s chosen a soft, familiar comfort. You don’t realize he’s been speaking again until he places your phone in your hands as you sit on the edge of the bed.

“What?” You look up, finally meeting his eyes for the first time since your freak-out.

“I need you to call Cee. Act like you’re extremely disappointed. Tell her he never showed up. Tell her you’re upset. Can you do that?” He asks. You look down at your phone and nod, glad that you’re still feeling emotional from the situation in the bathroom. You numbly pull up her contact and call. She answers on the second ring.

“Hello?”

“H-Hey,” You say and feel oddly ridiculous for such a blase phrase. You can feel Ezra’s eyes on you but you ignore it, trying to focus on being as convincing as possible,

“Hey, hun. What’s wrong, is everything ok?” She asks. You barely notice Ezra leave you, making his way into the living room. You try not to think about what he’s about to do.

“Yeah, well I mean, no. A-Ad-” You voice cracks as you try to say his name so you give up, “he never showed up. We were supposed to meet at 8 at my apartment but he never showed up.”

“Wait, he stood you up?? Aw, hun, I’m so sorry. I thought he was a good guy!” You let out a soft laugh as tears spring to your eyes, wiping them away as they blur your vision.

“Me too, I thought so too.” You say, sniffling.

“Gosh, hun you’re taking this really hard, huh?”

“I just-I don’t know what happened! We were fine, or I thought we were fine and then-!``Your voice is rising again and you force yourself to calm down, imagining Ezra’s holding you as you take a deep breath. “Well, this happens.” You finish at a normal volume.

“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you into something if you weren’t ready. I knew there was a chance you were still hung up on Ezra and it was my mistake.”

“No, it’s ok, Cee. It’s not your fault.” It’s mine. You add mentally.

“You sound really upset. Do you want me to come over?” She asks.

“No!” You answer all too quickly and you wait a beat before backtracking. “Ezra’s here.”

“What? You’re back together??” She asks.

“Not exactly. He uh…” your brain scrambles for a convincing lie. “I called him. I was just really upset and I got kinda drunk and called him. He came to comfort me. He’s been taking care of me all night.” You hope this lie doesn’t come back to bite you in the ass, knowing you need to establish an alibi both for yourself and Ezra.

“Oh ok… well, that’s good, right? At least you’re both on good terms now.” She says, ever the optimist.

“Yeah, for sure. Look, I’m gonna head to bed. But I just wanted to let you know what was going on ok?”

“Of course, hun and again I’m so sorry. Adam’s an idiot and he’s gonna get it once I get my hands on him.” Not anymore he won’t. You try to laugh it off.

“I’m sure he will. Ok, goodnight. I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Ok, let me know how things go with Ezra!” You roll your eyes and smile for the first time in hours, nodding.

“Ok, I will.”

“Ok, goodnight, bye hun!” She hangs up before you can say goodbye and you drop your phone screen-down on the bed. A wave of bone-deep exhaustion hits you and you fall onto the mattress next, turning on your side. You stare at your bedroom door until the exhaustion overtakes you and you fall into a dreamless sleep.

When you open your eyes again, the door is opening. It’s hard to tell what’s reality, the sky outside your window moonless, starless and flooding your room in an impenetrable dark. You tense and hold your breath as you hear the footfalls come closer.

“Darlin’, it’s done.” He says quietly, and a moment later you feel the mattress dip under his weight as he sits beside you. It all comes flooding back and what up until now you had hoped was a terrible nightmare floods your chest with a heaviness as you realize this is your new reality.

“It’s done?” You ask, finding his eyes in the dark. He nods and you can now make out that he’s wearing entirely new clothes. “What time is it?” You ask as you sit up against the headboard, flicking the light of your bedside lamp on.

“Just after 3:00 am.” He says. He looks like a new man, dressed in a pair of flannel pajamas and a navy t-shirt. His hair is damp from the shower and his skin is rosy. You smile again at the sight of him, familiar with this Ezra.

“Now, we gotta establish your alibi.”

“I told Cee that he didn’t show up. That you came here instead because I got drunk and you came to take care of me. That you’ve been with me all night.”

“You’re including me in your alibi?” He asks. You nod, confused.

“Of course I am. Besides, if I end up in prison, the most that’ll happen is that I’ll tell them I got you to lie for me.”

“That’s not happening.” He says firmly and you shake your head.

“It was self-defense, the worst they can do is-!” You shout.

“You hit him fifteen times, sweetheart.”

“No, no it was-” You recount the memory in your head. Fifteen times. You bring your hand over your mouth and slump back against the headboard. “fifteen times. But-But, he attacked me, I was just defending myself. You said so yourself.”

“With one hit, yes. With two, even. But fifteen in a row is gonna be a hell of a lot harder to convince a jury with. A lawyer would argue the insanity plea, get a reduced sentence or admittance to a permanent stay at a mental health facility but you’re not taking the fall for this.” You snort and meet his eyes.

“And what, you are?” Your tone is sardonic, but it falls flat as he meets your eyes. “You’re not serious.” You say.

“As the grave. I told you I would always protect you, didn’t I?” He says.

“You’re not taking the fall for this, Ezra!” You say, and feel the fierce protection rip through you.

“Someone has to, and I rather it be me than you.” He argues back.

“I won’t lose you!” Your words shock you both, and for the first time in ages the weight on your chest lifts. Your eyes fill with tears again but you fight them away. “I can’t lose you.”

“I thought you didn’t want me.” He says, confused.

“That’s not-” You sigh. “I was scared.” He doesn’t speak, allowing you to continue. “I was scared to admit that I love you too.” He looks unconvinced, likely thinking you’re only saying this because he’s willing to take the fall for you. You grab one of his hands in both of yours and make sure to lock your gaze with his. “Ever since breaking up it’s like you’ve haunted me all this time. And I used to think that it was because of the stalking, because of your obsessions but now I know that even when I’m with someone else, all I can think about is you. All I want is you. This entire night has just solidified that for me.” You say and he pauses.

“You mean… you don’t hate me? For everything?” He asks, and you see the deep insecurity in his eyes.

“Never. I could never hate you. I love you, Ezra. And I’m just sorry that it took all of this to realize it.” You bring your joined hands up to your lips and kiss his knuckles gently. “Running away from you was the biggest mistake I ever made.” You whisper, meeting his eyes again. When you drop his hand, it’s like a magnet pulls you two together. It’s a clash of bodies and lips as you two settle into the mattress.

“Goddamnit, I’ve missed you.” He mumbles as kisses you. You whimper again, completely compliant as your hands dig under his clothes, desperate for anything he’s willing to give you. You let out a quiet moan as he grinds against you, his mouth going to your collarbone and his tongue on your skin sending a jolt of electricity through you.

“This is so fucked up,” You admit, letting out a breathless laugh as he sucks the mark into your skin. He pulls away completely, enough to meet your eyes.

“We should stop.” He says, but you immediately shake your head, pulling him back into you.

“No, please, I need you.” You admit and he nods, trying to catch his breath as his dark eyes drink you in. You push him down and he allows it. You move to straddle him and kiss him deeply, wanting him to taste your devotion.

“I’m here, sweetheart. I’m always here.”

“Hey, have you heard from Adam?" You're just smoothing down the skirt of your dress as you look at your reflection in the bathroom mirror. You momentarily freeze at Cee's question before shaking your head, the name sending a slight chill down your spine.

"Uh, no. I haven't heard from him since he stood me up." The lie slips from between your teeth easily as you finish fixing your appearance and you step out of the bathroom.

"Hmm, Alex said he didn't show up to work today."

"Weird. Hey, help me with the back, will you?" You ask, hoping to distract her. It works as she quickly tightens and then ties the corset. As you face her again she grins.

"So I’m guessing your night with Ezra went well?” Cee says, pulling you out of your thoughts. She gazes pointedly just below your chin and you grab your compact, checking your reflection. Sure enough the marks he left last night are peeking just above your open collar and you curse under your breath, deciding to slip on the cardigan you brought along now that the colder weather has finally arrived, as hideous as that looks. It hides the marks, but it also hides the lovely design of your dress. You grab your uniform from the bathroom along with your apron, taking your timecard and punching out. The little bell above the door jingles and you both turn to see Ezra walking in, a bouquet of roses in his hands that perfectly matches the cream of your dress. Cee’s smirk grows. “Well, well, speak of the devil. Glad to know you two are back together, Ezra.” She says and Ezra blushes slightly, handing you your roses as you beam at him.

“You know what they say: birds of a feather and all.” He says, pulling you close as his eyes drink in the sight of you in the dress he chose. You smile back.

“We just couldn’t stay away from each other.” You say proudly, glancing over at Cee who’s watching you two with scrutiny.

“Yeah, clearly.” She says. “Anyway, what’re your plans for the evening.”

“Trader’s Market?” You offer to Ezra, who immediately nods.

“Dinner, of course, at that new place on 45th. Then after…” his grin grows devious and you laugh softly as he tucks his face into your neck, playfully nipping at your skin. “Might have to chase you down.” He whispers as he pulls away, low enough that only you can hear him and you raise an eyebrow, very intrigued by the idea.

“You’re on.” He guides you both to the door, bouquet in your hands, and you only barely hear Cee’s shout of,

“Have fun, lovebirds!” As you two make your way into the night.

******

Oh my god I am NEVER doing this again. And by “never doing this again” I mean deciding literally the night before to write a 7.5k one-shot just for the sake of meeting an imaginary deadline. Anyway, hope you all loved this v e r y out-of-the-norm story for the last day of spooky szn. Hope you all had a fantastic week, and a wonderful All Hallow's Eve ghosts, gals, and enby ghouls. Love you all, thanks for the support, and see you in the next one!

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