#seriously don't discourse at me I don't wanna deal with it

[momentomori24]

Long-ass fandom rant because I need to scream into the void to find a reason to live let's gooooo

[For context I wrote most of this last friday which I thought was good to mention so the timeline makes a bit more sense. I really held off on this one XD Welp, let's start this trainwreck.]

Ok, I know I have other long posts I should be paying attention to (*cough* Keiji's shady shenanigans rant *cough*) among other probably more important things, but quickly wanna get this off my chest because it's kinda started to bug me and add even more concerns about the yttd fandom than I already have. This is specifically going to be about soushin-- yeah, yeah, I know-- but also bleed into something more... broad. Or broader. Idk, I'm a Tumblr user not a grammar teacher.

While browsing through Twitter I've been noticing a little spike in popularity for yttd with more fans and soushin shippers emerging as well. Which is cool, the game deserves all the praise and popularity it can get. And as someone whose been here for years, I'm glad that the fandom is slowly and steadily grown more accepting of soushin compared to the attitude around it way back when. There's been some genuinely really cool stuff that really does the ship justice from a lot of talented artist and writers that I absolutely love (will link some later), but something I've also been seeing a lot of from fans is what I can only describe as a "sanitisation resurgence" (but not really. kinda). A week or two ago on Twitter I stumbled across some soushin discourse where some people were sharing the sentiment that "if soushin end up being related and/or have a big age gap the ship is ruined". That they can only be two years apart max or else Nankidai has "fumbled them".

And the only response to that I had is "what". Like, how is that a deal breaker to you lot? How did you even get into the ship without accepting that those things could very likely end up being canon? How are you here and not ready to ship them no matter what's revealed about them after everything we've learned about them? Midori and Shin possibly being related was always on the table, and Midori potentially having already been an adult when Shin was in high school was always a very real possibility ever since we learned that he was never actually a student at his school. This is literally what soushin shippers got harassed by antis for years ago. Soushin is "problematic", and that's why people who shipped them where treated so badly in the fandom or just excluded all together. I can't count how many timed I've come across a "soushin shippers dni" or "soushiners are freaks and I hope you all have a bad day" or soushin fanfics/art with "I DON'T ACTUALLY SHIP IT BTW" and "not a ship" and "actual soushin shippers dni" attached to it. I can't recall how many times I had to explain myself with the "I ship but I don't condone it irl" or explain why I shipped them to not be labelled as a freak as if you need an excuse to ship anything fictional to begin with. I still remember soushin artist @uououoon and how they ended up deleting their Twitter account years ago because of the harassment and slanderous comments they were receiving for ships the fandom deemed problematic. When a person was saying their goodbyes to them on reddit and made some goodbye art (which is now deleted), some assholes in the comments were calling them weirdos and pedophiles for how they explored fiction and "glorified abuse" (which are the usual comments to uououoon's art posted on reddit unfortunately). I only caught wind of this one because back when they were still active in the fandom they were my favourite soushin artist and I went through their stuff almost every day and was tipped off when I randomly couldn't find their account anymore. They were such a nice and incredibly talented person too so the fact they essentially got bullied by a flock of stupid western fans seriously irritates me thinking about it again. This is why we cannot have nice things.

Soushin is "problematic". It's toxic and subtly abusive and important to the characters in question, but that didn't stop people from going after people who wanted to explore a dark, canon relationship (romantic, platonic or otherwise). How the actual hell did we go from "soushin has very toxic and problematic elements and you shouldn't be shipping it, you fucking freaks" to "you can ship it but don't make it actually problematic, you fucking freaks" like what is happening right now???? The worst part is that this is coming from other soushin shippers. The fact that there's actually soushiners with "proshippers dni" or "soushin is not for proship" genuinely makes me want to bite someone. Like, you horrible summer child-- not only are you demonstrating that you don't even know what "proship" actually means, but you're also spitting in the face of the people in our community that have CARRIED this ship for us for years. Why throw them under the bus to be one of the “good ones” in the eyes of antis when they hate us all anyway?

This brings us back to the sanitisation point: I feel like soushin is slowly being "sanitised" to fit the sensitive palette of antis by trying to make them as "morally acceptable" as possible. It's a worry I’ve had for a long time that once the fandom grows more accepting of the ship we'll be seeing more people basically scrubbing soushin of everything that made, well, soushin, to justify enjoying it. I've seen a bit of it already with a few people trying to say it's "not abusive" or just erase Shin's very obvious trauma by Midori all together for quite some time. Guess it's starting to happen on a bigger scale sooner rather than later. Maybe. Personally I don't think soushin having a big age gap or being related would ruin the ship. It just adds another layer of fucked up to their already fucked up relationship (I already hc Midori to be significantly older anyway so maybe I'm just biased). It doesn't really matter. I came here for toxic yaoi. I want nuclear waste level toxicity, not nuclear waste level toxicity presented in the most conventional and moral way possible. What would the point even be? It’s like packaging poison in a grape juice box. Like, it might be harmless to look at and more justifiable to think of as delicious, but it’s still poison. You making it look all cute and innocent isn’t going to change that. It's kinda funny and by that I mean not really that people will talk about wanting more "toxic yaoi" but when the yaoi is actually toxic and messy and horrific they will cry about it being "bad" or "ruined". You don't actually want dark dynamics, you want dark dynamics stripped of everything that makes them uncomfortable and dark so it's digestible to your tastes that don't even align with said dynamics in the first place. The worst part of this whole "soushin isn't proship so it's fine" bullshit is that it relies on trying to make the ship more "morally acceptable" or "legal" than other ships. Dawg, we are talking about abuse. You shouldn't be minimising that to say "well it's not [insert other terrible thing] so it's fine!!" That's not the "gotcha" you think it is. It’s one of the reasons why antis being into soushin made me feel weird cuz like you can’t ship it and then turn around to insult someone else, man (I’ve seen so many soushin defenders bash other “proships” to justify theirs like what are you doing--).

Realistically, the simplest and smartest thing to do when I see someone mischaracterise or butcher my faves is to either block or ignore and pretend to not care so I don't act on my sixth sense telling me to off them and myself. Realistically, this shouldn't be a big deal or anything that important, but this attitude is usually weaponized to harm and harass people who don't conform to their purity crisis over fiction. I'm in the unfortunate position of being not only a Your Turn to Die fandom dweller, but a Hazbin Hotel and The Coffin of Andy and Leyley one too. I'm used to being labelled a rapist and incest apologist irl who's delusional and deserves to be harassed and insulted by virtue of the media or ships I like (probably not a good thing). But people who are more active in these fandoms than me have it much worse as they get this shit directly waaaay more often while I mostly get called these things indirectly, which is what motivated me more to make this post.

So a couple days ago someone made some art of Monika from ddlc, Nikole (don't know the game sorry) and Ashley from Tcoaal. A lot of people on Twitter, unsurprisingly, bashed it for including Ashley to the point where some felt the need to clarify that they like her as a character but her actions (for some reason I do not understand like Monika has also done some seriously evil shit why are you not applying that logic to her too?). What struck me the most is that a yttd fan-- a self proclaimed "Midori enthusiast"-- ALSO quoted it to bash having Ashley in it. A freaking Midori fan. I told them to mind their business and start separating fiction and reality and to stop being a hypocrite, and thus ensued the most hilarious and stupidest convo I've had in a while:

You can literally count the seconds it takes for these guys to start throwing predator accusations and slurs at people. So "not exploring fiction correctly" makes me weird, but harming or putting real people on blast for nothing is free game, apparently. They're not the worst, both in this instance and in general, but it just stuck with me. Which is impressive, cuz I normally don't have much emotions to spare aside from general mild irritation for things like this. Maybe it's the Sonic feet.

But it ties into my issue. Midori's an absolute piece of garbage, yet some people will convince themselves that his actions are in some way justifiable to justify their hatred of something else (that is a lot less severe in this case) rather than love and let love. Tcoaal is not an "incest game" and if you describe it like that unironically you are not ready to be on the internet. No, it doesn't condone or glorify incest-- it literally does the opposite. If you need the characters to look into the camera and say "what we're doing is wrong and immoral" before doing something bad, I think you're the problem at that point. For the same reason you liking Midori (probably) doesn't mean you support human experimentation and torture, someone liking Tcoaal doesn't mean they support incest and someone shipping soushin doesn't mean they support abuse. These things are dark and shouldn't be condoned irl, but this is fiction. We can do whatever the hell we want. Being into darker themes and media doesn't have to reflect your real world views, but the inability to grasp that sentiment leads people to make their interests as moral and sanitised as possible and, feeling morally superior, will go after people who don't do that. This person deadass said that "incest is not morally grey and absolutely unjustifiable" (didn't even say that it wasn't btw) as if their blorbo hasn't committed so many atrocities for kicks that I personally find more unjustifiable. That line implies that they think that everything else Ashley has done and everything Midori has done can be justified because it wasn't incest specifically, which I find is a WILD thing to insinuate XD But it really does encapsulate the hoops antis will jump through to defend their likes while attacking yours despite the fact that it's literally the exact same as theirs. Rule of thumb: if someone accuses you of condoning something immoral because you like it in fiction, apply that logic to them, look at what they like and if their wet little meow meow is the Joker, Eren, Killua, Makima, Midori or whatever other morally bankrupt character you can come up with, take that as a confession and run. Cuz half the time these guys are actually nuts. While quote tweeting someone to shit on their art isn't the worst thing, considering how twitter has treated tcoaal artists the fact that they'd potentially open them up to harassment pissed me off, which is probably evident from my tone.

[Hi hi, this is me from the present right now cuz a more recent development came up so I’m using it as an example here too.]

While most of the things listed here have all been happening online, this attitude can come up in the real world as well.

As OP states, a bunch of hellaverse cosplayers were targetted at a french convention by haters of the show trying to ruin their cosplay. This is already completely unacceptable but the thing I can’t for the life of me get over is torching their costume while they’re still wearing it. Literally attempting to set someone on fire. All over a fucking show. It’s baffling how people can justify actions like this because they think your taste in fiction is so disgusting it’s Ok for them to hurt you. Not just online, but outside as well. It’s not the first time a hellaverse cosplayer has been harassed (last time it was a Valentino cosplayer but then again Val fans get shit from all sides all the time), and while I’m pretty sure these will remain as isolated cases it’s still scary to think about. What’s even more scary to think about how people think that their opinion on hazbin hotel has any relevance to the situation. So many of the comments in that post are just “I hate Hazbin Hotel, but—” or “I hate the fandom, but--” or “I hate Vivzie, but—” and I’m literally here ready to start pouncing like SHUT UP. No buts. That is not in any way important here. You not liking the show or the creator should not be important to the situation of cosplayers being actively harmed. You don’t have to signal your allegiances before showing basic human empathy, goddamnit. And what’s even worse is that some people have just turned this into a “b-but the hazbin fandom!!” issue, which is insulting. For example:

The “Hazbin fans do blackface and disrespect black people daily” is a reference to ONE Alastor cosplayer that nobody had defended. Not even fans. At least no one I can find. Yet they are using this one bad apple to generalise the whole fandom as "bad" and down play the amount of bullshit the hatedom does to fans on a regular. It kinda makes me feel sick that someone would look at a situation like this and spin this into a “fandom thing” rather than focusing on the victims. That they don’t deserve to be taken as seriously just because of the fandom their in. Some lunatic in the comments was literally completely minimising this whole thing saying “some red paint (fake blood capsules) isn’t nearly as bad as lynching and what black people have gone through in America” before calling anyone who called out that that’s completely irrelevant racist for liking Hazbin Hotel like are you kidding me. My homies in Christ, someone almost got lit on fire can everyone please stay on the goddamn topic. This is one of the rare moments where I was kinda proud of twitter as the majority of the comments and quotes where calling out their bullshit, but the amount of likes and some of the comments are still disappointing.

So what points am I trying to make here? This was very spontaneous and rushed so apologies if it feels messy cuz it very much is messy. But my main points boil down to this: Purification, sanitation and the “fiction equals reality” and "your fictional tastes reflect on you morality irl" arguments need to die. They just have to. While petting Shin on a daily basis gives me enough serotonin to find the will to live, the only true solace I will find is when people start being normal. People shouldn’t be getting harassed or labelled as freaks for fiction you don’t like both online and real life. People are not less worthy of basic human decency and empathy solely based on their fictional interests. People should be able to explore fiction however the hell they want without worrying about there being made a call out post on them somewhere. I search Tcoaal on twitter and there’ll always be a bunch of posts with over 10k likes calling all fans annoying weirdos or say it’s an “incest game” even tho it literally isn’t. I will try looking for some Valangel art on tumblr and see some loser use the tag to basically shit on everyone who ships it and lying about the treatment these shippers get while defending Charlastor or just shit on the ship in general. I just exist on the twitter side of the HH fandom chilling with other Val fans and literally every single one of them has either received death/rape threats or told to kill themselves, got ratio’d by a bunch of haters, had a call out post saying not to follow dedicated to them, had their art reposted and Val scribbled out, repeatedly accused of ““romantising a rapist””, or all of the fucking above. Valentino’s VA gets asked if he’s actually like the character he plays in real life or a fan being “relieved that he didn’t abuse them like Valentino” when they met (kudos to Joel for being chill about it btw I would be fuming this fandom does not deserve this man). I type in a certain controversial yttd ship to search and most of the latest posts are just people being rude, saying that if Nankidai makes them canon they’ll drop the game, calling the man himself a freak, calling other shippers freaks, shitting on soushin as well and then having soushiners defend their ship while also shitting on said controversial ship. It genuinely feels like fanbases are circuses and we are the clowns 💀

I could list other examples people being weirdos but I can't do that without breaking the momentum of this post even more than I already have. I guess what I wanted to vent about is how these attitudes regarding fiction and the way people police how others engage with it and how people think of you based on what you like can go from just annoying to downright dangerous more often than you’d think. That belief that you are morally superior to someone else based on the fact that you ship or like things the “legal” and “pure” and “healthy” way (which is never actually the case btw) can lead to you being really disrespectful or a complete asshole and not feeling bad about it at all, which does more harm than good. Which is why I thought it was important to bring up more extreme cases to empathise how this obsessive gatekeeping of fiction can and does hurt real people, who should be more important to you than fictional characters.

All of this is very likely going to sound very aggressive in tone and I want to quickly clarify that this is not meant to be an attack towards anyone in particular. I'm just tired and recalling all this stuff is making my mood sink like a stone lmao. Who knows, maybe I'm just overexaggerating and things won't get worse when the game gets more popular. This is just what I've been witnessing both in and out of my side of the moon. The amount of yttd fans I've seen act like this are a lot tho. No fandom is perfect obviously, and this one is the farthest from it, but with new people coming in and this weird attitude and need to sanitise not only towards soushin, but other "problematic" ships and media as well growing more prominent (mostly on Twitter and Tiktok) my biggest worry is that the hostility in this fandom will just... increase? Roulettefeel made pretty good posts about it-- my favourites being this one, also this one and this one's pretty short and sweet, summarising most of my soushin points a lot better and shorter than my trainwreck of a post so I recommend checking them out. If you like soushin, go check them out. If you don't like soushin, go check them out anyway. They make stuff outside of soushin too. They're pretty cool.

[I also want to add that the whole sanitisation thing in the yttd fandom is nothing new. It’s been a thing for longer than I have been here. I’ve just been seeing it again with soushin, which is was what made me want to do this in the first place. There’s another dynamic the fandom obviously does this for, but uttering it would not only get me flamed but straight up burned at the stake of bad takes so I’m saving that for a rainy day.]

Aaaaannd, I'm done, I think. I didn't have a good conclusion for this in mind. Idk, just be nice? You don't have to like "proships" (or what the fandom has defined as proship cuz that's not the actual definition), but that's what the block buttons for. Don't like, don't read, I say. Fandoms are for everyone and as long as what the person is doing is harmless, let them feel safe being themselves without having to worry about someone coming after them. Real life cops already suck. Let's not bring them into our collective escapism. And something you personally don't like ending up canon doesn't mean the game or ship is "ruined". That doesn't just go for soushin. That goes for other things too. To tie up loose ends, soushin having an age gap or being related has always been on the table and fits with other themes in the narrative. That does not count as "bad" if it makes sense. Soushin is not "Ok to ship" because it's "not an illegal ship" (whatever tf that means) and it's not "bad to ship" because it's "romanticising abuse". It's fine to ship because it's fictional. You don't need a moral justification to ship anything. That goes for all ships. That's why NOTPs exist. And "proship" doesn't and has never meant "shipping problematic pairings". It's a stance on shipping. It means being pro people being allowed to ship whatever they want. That includes being cool with problematic pairings, but is not limited to those. It means not being a fandom cop. Please stop saying otherwise, I cannot keep living this way--

Soooouuu, to end off on a more positive note and finally put this whole thing to bed I'll link some of my fav newer soushin accounts for anyone who's interested:

Hyo (orewagahai on ao3 check that out too): They are an amazing, amazing writer. If you're into dark, abusive co-dependent, complicated soushin with beautiful characterisation I would highly recommend. They just posted another soushin drabble on twitter and it's great.

jinn: They've been putting out banger after banger ever since getting into the game. Their art is absolutely stunning and they upload frequently, so go check 'em out if you can! It's actual medicine for the soul, I promise. They also draw for dead plate, so if you're into that go ahead too.

angel: Also cool. They're soushin art is hilarious and cute. As much of a sucker as I am for toxic, abusive sludge, they give thses two idiots a silliness that I enjoy. Also if you like trans!Shin content they're pretty good.

欣武 (my dumbass forgot to add them the first time sorry): They are INCREDIBLE. Extremely incredible artist. Their art is so, so freaking good. Not checking them out is absolutely your loss, ngl.

Be nice to them. If I catch anyone attempting to annoy them I'm coming after you and your entire family. Let's be better and not chase new comers off this time :3 Thanks for listening to my incoherent venting. This is mostly for me to feel a bit better, but anyone is free to read. If anyone's got an opinion or observation, feel free to offer it. I need coffee. Coffee sounds good.

[lanawinterscigarettes]

Hi! Would I be able to request a fic for coming out to Yelena Belova (MCU. Sorry for spelling on last name) as Aroace, please?

oh absolutely! I know there's some discourse about whether Yelena herself is "technically" aroace or not but I personally believe she is, so this fic (and everything I write with her) will reflect that. I'm not aroace so if there's anything inaccurate please let me know and I'll make sure to change it. hope you like it! <3

A Lot More Similar (platonic! Yelena Belova x reader)

Warnings: Yelena calls the reader "dude" but it's meant in a casual gender neutral way, very brief and mild swearing, Yelena and the reader drink beer in this

"Hey, Yelena, can I talk to you about something?" You asked somewhat nervously, giving her a glance.

You were both sitting on the couch watching trashy reality TV and making fun of the people on it when you were suddenly hit with the urge to come out to her. You figured that now was as good of a time as ever, and that you were as ready as you'd ever be.

"Yeah, sure. What's up?" She asked casually, not having noticed how nervous you were.

You took a deep breath, trying to collect your thoughts before continuing. "I- I think I'm aroace. Actually, no, that's wrong. I am aroace." You tried to be confident when you spoke, even though you were terrified to hear her reaction.

Much to your surprise, she just shrugged and said, "Okay."

"Really?" You asked in confusion.

Yelena snorted in laughter before responding. "No, I hate you. Get out of my house." She said sarcastically while pointing towards the door.

You had to laugh, realizing just how ridiculous it was for anyone to not be accepted just for being themself. "Wait, but seriously, though. You're really okay with it?"

"Yeah, dude, of course." She took a swig of her beer before leaning back on the sofa again. "Why would I have a problem with it? Hell, I'm aroace."

"You are?" It was difficult to hide the surprise in your voice, causing Yelena to laugh again.

"Of course I am. I mean, it's not something I like to make a big deal of, but I don't exactly plan on really hiding it, either."

You nodded your head as you started to understand where Yelena was coming from. "Yeah, that makes sense. I guess we're a lot more similar than I thought."

She made a sound of agreement. "Yup, we're both aroace, we both like pizza and beer, and we both hate crappy reality shows."

Laughing, you held up your beer bottle. "I'll drink to that."

Yelena smiled, lifting up her own drink. "Cheers."

Likes < reblogs | PLEASE REBLOG if you like what you read

Main masterlist | MCU masterlist | wanna be added to my taglist?

🏷 taglist: @anxiously-sad @iloveentrapta @ghot-girl @taecube @gilmore-angel @xxromanoffxx @your-next-daydream @whistle1whistle @alexxavicry @elenavampire21 @truthindreams-blog1 @the-nightowl-blr @noisy-dumb-piece-of-shit @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @defstr8bl0nd13 (if you were crossed out it means I couldn't tag you for some reason)

[haljathefangirlcat]

As far as I know I follow exactly two Italians and my dash is utterly FLOODED with Sanremo madness right now. xD it's fantastic I have zero clue what's going on but I kinda wanna look it up and watch

ASDFGHJKSDGHJKL I don't know if I should be like "welcome aboard, here's popcorn and a flower bouquet!" or apologize. XDDDD

Anyway, Sanremo is the colloquial name for the Festival della Canzone Italiana (Italian Song Festival) held every year in the city of Sanremo. It lasts for five nights, with a number of artists competing to win first place in between comedy sketches and serious monologues, and is one of the longest-running tv shows still on air. The winner is supposed to represent Italy during the Eurovision Song Contest (tho they can decline if they don't feel like going) but Sanremo actually predates and even inspired ESC. The English Wikipedia page on it has more info on it, ofc.

... however, I'm pretty sure it fails to mention how Sanremo isn't just about music or even about competition. It's about political, social, and cultural discourse. It's about memes and shitposting. It's about DRAMA.

Here's a few great posts (... plus mine. because it didn't show up in that year's tag for ages and I just wanted to show it to someone tbh) that can give you a better idea of what it's really like:

How it works this year (the overall structure doesn't actually change much from year to year, but some things definitely depend on which celebrity has been picked to organize and host. Amadeus has been the host since 2020, and this is his last year)

Sanremo: Music and Chaos

Sanremo: Just Chaos

"Why is the whole Italian peninsula complaining about being unable to go to sleep a decent hour?"

The Fantasanremo Madness

A few posts about The Incident in 2020

Sanremo 2021 gif moodboard

A bingo card for Sanremo 2023

A brief run-down of what actually ended up happening during Sanremo 2023 (including a mention of 2023's version of The Incident) (yes there is always an Incident) (... okay, actually there were two that year. What a time to be alive)

My own Sanremo 2023 post that was savagely censored by Tumblr until I removed the picture of that year's co-host, influencer Chiara Ferragni, wearing a dress with fake nipples on it (no, none of the year's Incidents were about that) (One did involve Ferragni's husband being lap-danced on, dragged on stage, and kissed by a male performer tho)

All the Sanremo 2023 after shows/dedicated specials on other shows/press conferences/social media presence stuff/general media circus (here as a "no seriously it may be ridiculous but it IS a big deal"/"did you think it was over with JUST the actual competition *evil laugh*" post)

... I do realize that might seem a lot. But trust me, it only represents a TINY percentage of the insanity that goes on both on stage and behind the scenes every time. XDD

[waywardsou2]

REALLY QUICK. I TAKE REQUESTS FOR MOOD BOARDS

---+---+---+---+---+---

New master post because the old one is broken

About me!

Welcome to my blog! My name is Wayward (not irl obviously. Though I wish) Just some basic information *ahem* I'm transmasc, androgenous (masc leaning), omniflux (but mostly mlm). Kinda complicated, yeah, but aren't we all. My pronouns are He/Him (main) Xe/Xir (trialing neos) They/Them (for my more 'who cares about gender' mood). I haven an extensive list here 👉: Pronoun card.

Other random info about me :) I'm an aspiring author (my ao3 here 👈) and self-taught artist.

I have an TMNT AU I'm currently writing/designing. Find that here 👈

I'm also a Punk (in clothing and in ideologies and less so in music. yk just deal with it, it's the spirit that counts)

I'm also a monster fucker -I mean what? Who said that?

My beliefs are centered in Nordic Witchcraft, so no hate or I will bring down the might of Thor on your head. You've been warned. But if you are gonna play nice you can find me here 👈.

I'm quite odd so if that bothers you then don't stick around. I'm never in the mood to fight so don't even try it. Oh also, I'm an undiagnosed neurodivergent (probably autistic) and diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Although I'm pretty good now-a-days.

This blog is mainly for my shit posting, doom scrolling, fandom shenanigans, hyper fixations and it's my main. Everything else I do branches off into its own blog. Kinda like blog children. Bloglins you could even call them. (I'm coining that term. Mine now) My current hyper fixations are TMNT and HTTYD.

I LOVE GETTING ASKS. I have a few ask games I'm happy to do so I'll link them 👈. I usually answer within a day or two so please send them in. They are so much fun and I love interacting with communites . My DM's are also open if you just wanna chat in general or have any questions you want to ask not publically (for reasons).

---+----+----+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+----+---+----+----+----+----+

If you are an alter/non human follow me here

As I'm sure most of you can relate to this I really dont see why I need to say it but it's the internet so you can never be too careful. But I'm really attached to a lot of fictional characters from many franchises and if I ever post about them please be nice. Even if you dont like them or the potential discourse around them. Just be decent ok? They can be found here 👈

Now that I've told you about me there are some ground rules to go over for my corner of the internet.

No harassment, bullying, discourse or anything of that nature belongs here. This is a Peaceful blog alright? I dont want none of that shit 🫵

No terfs, no homophobes, no transphobes, no zoophiles, no pedofiles (you are not MAPS ok, fuck off), no incest shippers, no anti-lgbt of any kind, no bigots, no conservative Christians, no religion haters (there is a balance), or anti-alter humanity of any kind. I think you get the idea but if I get even a hint that any of you people are lurking you will get tossed out like the trash you are. IMMIDEITLEY 🖕

No dark jokes or snides at mental health, it's tough shit and people dont need any more negativity to deal with. I will fucking report you if you ever do anything of the sort on my blog.

And finally no drama or discourse. seriously no one has the time or energy for that esspecially me. Just dont ok? 👎

I have a few personal tags and may add more when need arises but if your looking for something in particular you may find them with these tags

#wayward rants

# wayward rambles

#wayward asks

#wayward rambles

# helpful reblogs

# waywards wallflower AU

#waywards art

!!!SHOUT OUT TO MY MOOTS!!!

@neonleons-posts @small-spiderpunkboy @fireflysquidsoup @ghosts-in-the-outfield @promiscuousbarnes @waywardsarah @corrupt-touch @dissapointedcreeper @regulusblackisamermaid

I have another Master Post type post so anything that isn't here will be there. It's kinda like a less detailed pt 2 to this post. You can find that here 👈. And if for some reason you want to see the old Master Post, I am gonna keep it up so you can find that here 👈

That's all for now folks hope you have fun whilst visiting my blog.

[cabbageslost]

Reacting to live action AtLA - ep 8

Spoilers warning, for the final time.

..

Okay, fresh off my extreme dislike at episode 7's choice to have Aang not support Katara (seriously, I will hold onto that grudge with a fierceness that would put OG Katara to shame even. Worst change of the entire season for me.) I'm still grumpy, but I won't have time to watch tomorrow, so I just wanna get it over with. They have a lot to make up to me. :P

..

Okay.. finally we get to see them fight together. Bout dang time. Where was THIS for the past 7 episodes? This is what we needed for Team Avatar-building.

Katara leading the other women.. I can deal with this change too. And she got given charge of the newbie recruits too. Again, I can do this.

The Ice Moon? Okay new plot twist. Let's see if you're passable or lame.

Lion turtle mention alert.

MOMO! I swear to goodness, this is the worst. Also, I knew the Oasis would look gorgeous in live action. Okay, he's better but I'm still not okay with that happening in the first place. :( Dirty trick.

So.. not gonna have Iroh threaten/disagree with Zhao?

Nice little icy straight jacket, though I'm ticked that apparently Zuko in this version can immediately bust out. Meh. I enjoyed the idea from the first of her having the upper hand for a while the moon was out.

Zhao calling out Ozai and his stupid games. Finally Iroh at least telling him he'll unleash on him.. though he didn't bother to try and actually DO anything yet. Yeah, there it is, finally!

This fight.. oof. It's intense. And it's nice to have a version where we don't have to hate Hahn. lol

YES, time for Aang as Koi-zilla. Kick some Zhao (and other fire nation) butt, Koizilla.

Ha, yes, firebending duel on a bridge. Way to not draw attention to yourselves from the fish giant that's utterly pissed at firebenders. I do enjoy the aangsty discourse though.

Hold up. Iroh took Zhao out, not the ocean spirit? I mean, I guess it's busy with the armada, but still. I liked it getting to mete out the justice for its pair.

Man, these poor water tribe siblings.. Sokka watching his girlfriend turn into the moon, Katara begging Aang to come back..

This does give a bit more of a reason/transition for Pakku to change his mind on training women, better than "well, you're my old girlfriend's daughter." I'm still unclear on how Katara was deemed a master as she got literally zero training in this version.

Azula taking over Omashu, getting word that the comet is "soon".. and done.

..

Okay, this episode didn't make me near as stabby as the last (though they really didn't have to mess with Momo like that.) The fight was intense, but all the fight scenes have looked pretty good so I expected that. While I loved that Katara was declared a master, I still don't see how since she didn't get any teaching at all. And overall it seems an absolutely bizarre choice for Aang to not bend any water in the water book.

I dunno, mostly I'm glad to be done, okay with having watched it, and absolutely thrilled that the animated version is still there. I will probably start up a rewatch of that soon as a nice palate cleanser. LOL My thoughts on this haven't changed since halfway through - if I had seen just this live-action I might have enjoyed it more as I wouldn't know what I was missing, it would have been a show that I completed.. but it wouldn't have spurred me on to need "more" (hunting out others to obsess with, looking up fanfic, etc) the way the original did. The characters in this got better/more interesting, but took like 7 episodes to do so.. and that's entirely too long in an 8-episode season. And even by the end they weren't as engaging as their animated counterparts (NOT a commentary on the actors.. the scenes where they were given emotional dialogue, they did well. Just.. well there was a ton of splitting them up or sort of flat writing sometimes. Can't do much with that.)

[lucassinclaer-archive]

16, 22, 24, 25 for the ask game :)

hoooo boy tysm rae!! okayyy, let's see

16. you can’t understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc) can't understand is harsh, because i do understand, i just don't concur. in my very personal opinion, steve isn't a parent figure, but an older brother figure and the mom steve thing isn't something i see.

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores i was just thinking about this yesterday!! erica and d&d! idk if it's my very favorite, but it's very dear to me. like, we're introduced to d&d through the typical nerd lense, male and majority white (i also have lucas d&d feelings, but yeah) but then erica, who's into my little pony (another thing i find PRECIOUS, btw, she really is just a kid,) gets into d&d and she takes it so seriously and i'm sure it provides her with that escapism and i just adore it so much.

i don't think this was executed on well (the usual issue with the treatment of poc in the show), but the potential of it is really dear to me!! and god, the fact that it also serves as a connector for lucas and erica. my kids!

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse billy. i don't actually begrudge people talking about this, tbh. i think there's a valuable conversation to be had about making one of the villains of the show an abuse victim and if that was a wise choice & i don't think they utilized the storylines he was involved in enough/well (lucas and max both dealing with the fallout of s2, for example, would have been something i think could've been included very nicely while still keeping it plot-relevant.)

however, i feel like social media & fandom (esp. such a big one) is just not a great platform for this. those who like billy are so on the defensive & deal only in certainties and idt that gives anyone a good foundation for a conversation. on a topic like this (fiction/something that was meant to be a specific narrative/a thing that doesn't infringe on actual rights) you can try to persuade people, but you're not entitled to them being persuaded is my opinion and that's not something i've experienced on that side of the fandom, personally.

25. common fandom complaint that you’re sick of hearing mmmmh. this is not in any way meant to be a plead for people to stop, per se, bc - again - i think fandom is a polarizing experience and i don't wanna take away the venting from people and posts can't possible encompass someone's entire point of view, but i'm a little bit saddened by el & mike negativity on the side of the fandom i'm on - and i don't mean that i think their romantic relationship is something i want to carry on or that homophobia isn't a very real thing in this space. i just enjoy their dynamic as a teenage love/true connection bc they care about one another so much and they have such cute moments to me... so seeing such a wealth of picking apart their non-compatibility, which is part of what i like about the dynamic, is sometimes a lot.

choose violence ask game

[filthforfriends]

A random rant after waking up from a nightmare and trying to distract myself from having a panic attack.

I wanna reference what you said about it being privilege to say that Må wants to be politically neutral. I do see how that can be perceived as Damiano/Må being a sellout, but personally I don't like when famous people constantly (not a good word but I run with it) take and talk about a situation that my people deal with on a daily basis, but don't know about the real story and stage (??) of things. In my country, I am a victim and a subject of constant nationalism and xenophobia by politicians and others like potential bosses, university peers... It is my daily life to be denied some basic (political) human rights such as running for president just because I identify with a nationality that isn't one of three constituent. For me personally, I don't like to be reminded of it by some band I like too much. I appreciate it when they mention it, but they can't really do anything to help the situation. But most of this mentioning it is hypothetical because (in this case) "the open conversation is constant" but it is very much, for lack of better word, boring and unproductive. Also, the reason why it is ignored more often than not is because it is to hard to understand fully, like took me three uni courses to fully understand what I am going through. Like more often than not, I feel like the appendix of Europe. For example, an Italian band is ignoring our region when announcing a big European tour, while that region is including their neighbouring county. This is just a random rant from a political science student, but sometimes I feel that in all the pain marginalized groups deal in the daily, some things are taken way too seriously, but others not serious enough. I am aware that all of this comes from a position of privilege of being white, but Slavs (as our people's name implies) went through a lot of bad shit in Europe, especially those who live in Balkans. And I wanna say again that this is personal preference and not saying that everyone should think and feel like this!!!! Debating to go anon or not (I mean I said something here that can point to my blog), but... yeah

I have family from the Balkans that were displaced and lost a child in the process so I know a little bit about this. Im sorry to hear that somethings haven't changed.

I think discourse becomes "boring and unproductive" as you said, when people who have the power to do something don't. I believe that people in positions of influence should be politically active and to do so their activism has to take a form that makes change. Just saying "it sucks that this marginalized group is oppressed" isn't meaningful. It only serves to make that celebrity look good and that is the opposite of activism. Right now, political activism for people like Maneskin should look like doing rather than acknowledging. I think the current state of celebrity activism feels boring and unproductive because it is! It's self serving and lacking and not making any meaningful change. Effectively its not even activism.

[florenceisfalling]

sorry for not realizing, i hadn't checked your blog in months before today and i kinda figured you would have blocked me in the time i wasn't on tumblr if you didn't wanna talk. the post i replied to seemed lighthearted so i did not know. obviously no need to answer this as i won't ever see it, just wanted to say i'm sorry for upsetting you even if i won't ever know exactly what went wrong with us

i mean you still have my discord dms if you really wanted. in fact, you actually stopped responding to me, not the other way around. i didn't block you because a.) you were such a large part of my life for so long that, yknow, a chunk of my blog has some sort of attachment to yours, and i didn't want to fuck up my ability to see relevant posts if im trying to find old writing shit and b.) i always wanted to leave channels open because... again, you were a large part of my life for so long. i don't want to be your friend but if anything ever came up and there was something you needed or wanted to say i wanted that to be possible for the sake of "just in case"

regardless of if you "wont ever see it" heres my answer. even this ask answers itself for one of the reasons i dont like you. you hadn't checked my blog in months. which in itself is fine, but in the grand scheme of things - jesus fuck, man! you dipped out of my life almost entirely, on repeated occasions, unless i actively tried to drag you back in. regardless of how fucking apparent it was that i was literally on the Brink, you wouldn't be there unless i was the one to call. even after i tried to have an open conversation with you + others involved on how you were so bad at handling your shit that i thought random things i had zero involvement were my fault because no one gave me any sort of indication to what the fuck was going on.

you hung out with bullies and downplayed the deserved backlash. you don't know how to take other peoples feelings or lives seriously - something that hits me so PROFOUNDLY because your kindness and comfort used to be one of the reasons i liked your company so much. you hurt my friend. and you lied to me! and more, shit that i cant say here! and you would complain and guilt-trip about how you felt like everyone hated you and how you were such a bad friend but you so rarely made steps to actually change anything you were doing! of course you don't see what went wrong, you can't even look in at yourself without making everyone else feel like its their fault for being hurt!

and id love to say that everything ive heard from you and the people surrounding you is some kind of misunderstanding and that really and truly you dont deserve my anger. i dont think you realize how much ive sat over the past year and hoped that we were somehow gonna go back to normal. i wanted to tell you i got engaged! i wanted to talk to you about a million things! but after what i had to deal with last year (not from you, other shit entirely) i sort of learned that i cannot afford to trust anyone. you have no idea the fucking depths i went to and you are not going to know because the kind of people you seem to love aspiring to be/surrounding yourself with are the same kind of people who made my world feel like it was fucking falling apart. literally some of the most insane trauma ive endured was just brushed aside as silly discourse or jokes or whatever so yeah. not sure if i can trust that everythings all just one big mix up. messages are open but i am so angry and i cant change that even if i want to and i dont think you want to hear any of it.

and im sorry for being so lighthearted about you before i thought it was a post that would just fade into the ether like my other non-context bullshit

[bigswordenergy]

About/BYF

!!MINORS DNI. 18+ ONLY!!

Dov, it/its (preferred), he/him (aux, use in gendered languages e.g. German/Yiddish), gay dude, white, Jewish (Renewal, Bundist), UK. This is both a personal blog and RP hub. I will probably immediately forget media recommendations and also I'm very picky about music. Untagged venting and recovery posting will happen sometimes but it’s never gonna be anything self injury related.

Go HERE to help some people get esims.

Basic interaction rules: I will block if you're hateful (including just mean spirited harassment), selling crypto/pyramid schemes, use generative AI/LLMs or try to bring me drama or discourse. I don't do call-outs or ship discourse, I can just block people, you should too. Oh, and if you're a dick to my friends or a fandom gatekeeper? BYE.

Things I post a fair amount of: Vampire The Masquerade, Elden Ring, Dark Souls, animals, nature, silly nonsense, yelling at the void, art, Yiddishkeit, mild NSFW, dark and spooky things, heavy metal

RP Blog stuff:

Classic World of Darkness-based. Anything relatively compatible is fine. I do interact with some 5e blogs but am not using their metaplot, and please just don’t do edition evangelism TYVM unless you want a detailed account of my terrible experiences.

General warning for: adult humour, implied sexual themes, combat, descriptions of gore, drug use, mental illness, monsterfucking implications, canon divergence, overpowered characters

[OC list under construction, will add when my executive function is better]

NO IRL MINORS, no child characters either. My content isn't child-friendly. Seriously, don't do cringe culture at me, in general. If you're playing a fascist/TERF/similar kind of asshole, I will not engage, even if you don't believe those things IRL. No forcefem/misgender kink. I don't respond to automatic IC hostility, it's not fun, it just makes me feel bad for playing "cringe" characters that people hate. I will not engage if you're doing pregnancy stuff because I don't wanna deal with pregnancy or parasites. I do multi-ship, so keep that in mind.

If you wanna do something that's longer-form or will have long-term effects, don't be scared to message me, we can set something up. Romance is fine, combat is fine, but WITH COMMUNICATION beforehand.

[nunbot9k]

You post abt how you don't want ppl to insult you and be transphobic towards u bc you are not trying to pass and booooom a million akss from people saying they're unfollowing bc u "support transandrophobia" what are you faggots talking about. I don't knwo the discourse around the word and I don't want to know it. I'm a 20 year old man these things concern high schoolers. I don't give a shit what it means. I didn't use it I didn't imply it idk what the discourse around it is and I don't care. I should be able to talk about my problems without you freaks assuming I'm "implying trans women have it easier" when the fuck did I say that, retard. I just don't want other trans men to look at me and call me a fucking theyfab. I hate this word. I don't wanna be treated as a woman. Or a child. From people in my community that think I'm not actually trans bc I like traditionally feminine things. Is it too much to ask for. Is it really impossible for ppl to NOT post abt ppl that look like me and call them "actually confused cis women that just don't wanna deal w misogyny" am I not allowed to vent about not being taken seriously in my own fucking account is everyone fucking braindead. Is this what's happening.

[igetdepressedandilearnthings]

It just occurred to me that this is the social media platform I've been wishing I had for years. The one were I can write and no one I know will ever read it, at least not with any actual probability. I don't know why I ignored Tumblr for so long, I just kinda forgot about it as I tried other formats for blogging. I don't care about having followers or anyone reading what I write here, I just want to write it somewhere where it might be seen but not by my friends who will just tell me how concerning my 'behavior' is.

I do love my friends, the few I actually have left, but I don't think they actually care that much about me to really try to help and I'm very tired of the half assed attempts from everyone in my life that always end with "you should learn to love yourself and then other people will love you too". Lately I just take it to mean they don't love me either and I had about enough of hearing that.

I think here I can write stuff as depressing as I want and I won't have to deal with any of that, which I really like. It's not like it matters anyway. When I seriously considered killing myself it was over three years ago and not one person noticed how depressed I was back then. I even wrote about it in my blog which I have literally linked on my IG and only one of my friends ever reached out to me about it, over a year after the fact. And she doesn't talk to me anymore either, so I'm back down to zero people that actually know that about me. But oh well, ob la di ob la di as they say. I'm not really happier now, but I have learned to deal with it better.

Anyway, I guess this is my official comeback to Tumblr. I bring very little positive energy. Ok just kidding. I actually love pop culture and writing discourse, and I hope to find more of that here, since all I have so far is really YouTube. I also like to partake in mental health, world news and that sort of discussions from time to time, tho I do try to not over engage. This should be the year I get back to a healthy weight and I wanna see how much or little that does for my self esteem, so stay tuned. So far everyone here is pretty cool so I'm looking forward to spending some more time here. And also leaving behind some other social media sites, I think I've finally reached my breaking point with some of them.

[fantasyinvader]

The discourse kinda reminds me of Martian Successor Nadesico.

See, in Nadesico there's this anime. Gekiganger 3, a homage to super robot shows of the 1970s. It's something the main character watches, at times foreshadowing what will happen that episode. But then it becomes a central part of the show's narrative when the Jovian space lizards are revealed to not be space lizards at all. They're humans, banished from the Earth sphere when they lost a war for control of the moon. Erased from history, they moved to Mars only to be nuked so that Earth could colonize the planet, moving to the moons of Jupiter afterwards where they found an ancient, alien facility that gave them a tech advantage. They've based their entire culture around the one anime they had with them when they fled, Gekiganger 3. They're a nation of overzealous fanboys, trying to live up to the ideas they took from the show.

But Gekiganger did not deal in shades of grey. It was black and white, good guys and villains and the villains were always killed. Hero falls in love with someone on the villain side? She dies sacrificing herself to save the hero. Villain is the missing brother of the female lead? He dies. They love the idea of the heroic sacrifice, and think that women need to be protected and for the enemy to have women on their ship shows how evil they really are. The series focus on hot-blooded male characters leads to the Jovians being overzealous, captains have to also double as ace pilots.

Seriously, this show is their religion. A show that was made for young children, teaching them ideals of working together, justice and epic sideburns. That's not what they took away. The Jovians believe the people of Earth are evil and have wiped out the people of Mars. They have no issue attacking civilian populations while saying things like "If only the humans appreciated life as we do, I would not have to kill so many of them." Seriously. And when one of them begins talking to the crew, finding out they aren't so bad, can love Gekiganger as well (as well as discovering they have episodes that were long lost to his people), even falling in love with one who took care of his sister, and tried to set up peace talks between Earth and Jupiter, wanna know what happened? He was shot, by his best friend, because the military higher ups wouldn't accept that anything less than defeating evil (and he told his friend that while Gekiganger's female lead is a good example of womanhood, she's just a cartoon). They then frame the Nadesico for his death and use him as a martyr to ramp up the war.

If Nadesico may have been a screwball rom-com most of the time, but it could be pretty dark. The show ends with a love declaration, and while the MC says that the final episode of Gekiganger was awful it's still an important show to him but you shouldn't take anime so seriously. Then they made an edgelord sequel movie that took itself seriously and bombed so hard the two movies that were supposed to turn it into a trilogy were canned.

But even with the "don't take anime so seriously" message, a lot of people still feel the show is revelant today. The Jovians were motivated because they didn't understand what Gekiganger 3 was really trying to say. They instead twisted it to serve their own ends, to justify any acts they undertake. So while Joe might have given his life to protect planet Tokyo in Gekiganger, they instead viewed it as endorsing their own attacks on the Earth. Stuff like that. It shows how important it is to be media literate, and how even something so simple and pure can be distorted to suit one's ends.

With how people have twisted Houses, the things they have had to defend in order to champion Edelgard, it's not hard to see some parallels.

[returnofismasm]

Not to long form Loki meta in 2021 (sorry to my followers, but most of y’all know me personally....) but. Season 2 wishlist!

Season 1 wasn’t perfect, but I generally had a grand time watching it. It felt a lot like RTD-era Doctor Who--has some flaws, but you can tell everyone had a good time making it, and I had a good time watching it, and I’m glad there’s going to be more. 

So some things I’d love to see in season 2:

1. More exploration of Loki’s bisexuality. I’m really glad that Kate Herron made a point to get this confirmed, but more please! Whether that means a boyfriend or just references to past boyfriends is, I think, dependent on how many episodes the season gets. Without throwing a rock into the hornets nest of the selfcest discourse (seriously, don’t bring it here, make your own post) the Loki/Sylvie romance did feel a little rushed, so if they’re going to commit to that, I’d rather they stick with it then messing with a love triangle or something. If the backstabbing at the end of time has killed that dead, then yes. Boyfriend. Either way, have Loki reminisce about past lovers (was the reason Sif and the Warriors Three were all kinda done with Loki outside of him being Thor’s Kid Brother they have to hang out with because he’d dated most of them at one point? Hmm?)

2. On that note, more genderfluidity. They definitely dropped the ball on that. I’m cis so HOW that should be done is not really my lane. I liked the scene in Original Sin where Thor remarks that “These are fair maidens” and Loki responds “So am I, sometimes” so something like that would be good? But again, I do not want to talk over genderfluid folks on this topic. Just you know, do better, MCU. 

3. A follow up on the idea from episode 5 where Loki remarks that “We’re more powerful that we realize” when watching Classic Loki’s massive illusion of Asgard. The idea that magic--or at least, magic as learned on Asgard--is in part confidence could be really interesting. MCU Loki is weaker in magic than Comics Loki, and while the show did do a lot to try to close that gap, they do have to make it work with “Well if he can do this why didn’t he do it during Thor/Avengers/Infinity War/etc.” Loki’s a character with a lot of self-loathing he compensates for with a vastly overinflated opinion of himself, and neither of those things are true confidence. His most impressive magic display (moving the falling building) seemed to happen when he wasn’t really thinking too hard about it, so the seeds of having Loki’s magic get stronger as becomes more grounded are already there. Classic Loki was depressed, but he did also have a lot more actual confidence than any Loki we’d seen up to that point. 

4. Thor and Loki growing up, and also Thor and Loki reunion. Some scenes like in Good Omens, with Crowley and Aziraphale through history. It’s made blatantly clear that Loki misses Thor desperately, so it would be kinda weird if they never saw each other again. I just want them to hug, guys!

5. A longer episode run! Six is, well it’s FINE, but I think eight to ten would be ideal. I know Marvel Studios has a lot of stuff to fund, but it’s not like this show is a risk on the financial side. 

6. More Ravonna Renslayer! COVID apparently really messed with some stuff they wanted to explore with her, but we’ve got another go around on this. More Ravonna!

[goldenlandfiascos]

don't do that D: ange don't feel that....

source?

[hide-in-imagination]

I was watching this amazing video by Cinema Therapy (if you haven't watched any of them, I highly recommend that channel) and one thing that the couple's therapist said struck me so hard because it immediately reminded me of Simbar:

“He feels betrayed because there was a lie. He doesn’t take the time to consider the why.

And that’s the thing. There can be wrong behavior in a relationship. But when we fail to consider the why, we fail to see the person.

And it may not change the outcome of things. Like, if someone lies to you or deceives you, betrays your trust, you may choose not to trust them anymore.

But when we just look at behavior and we don’t look at motivation… Once again, we make misjudgments, and that’s exactly what he does.”

AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS PLEASE?? SKJDFNDKJS

I just really wanna point out Simón's growth regarding this. By the end of season 2, this is exactly what he does: He finds out about the handkerchief and everything Ámbar has done, and he doesn't even try to listen to the why. Which is very ironic because he asks her Why like a thousand times. He's going "Why would you do that? Why, Ámbar?" but he never gives the time for an answer. His whys are not really a petition for motive, they're just accusations.

BUT THEN, WE HAVE SIMÓN IN SEASON 3

And jesus christ, I love this.

So, it starts as early as episode 2 when they have their conversation at the sidewalk. He's once again accusing her, once again judging her for ruining Luna's party, but this time Ámbar fires back and she goes "What about me?"

And it's so interesting because you can see Simón genuinely didn't thought about that, he didn't consider how Ámbar might feel about the whole thing, and he even admits it (because he's not a prideful person, he does what's right, and admitting his wrongs is right).

AND HE UNDERSTANDS.

He still thinks it's wrong, but he gets now where she's coming from, and he validates it, and S2 Simón would never because he didn't even listen.

Now. This is not a complete shift, it's not full growth, because, as you might notice, he didn't ask about her motivation; Ámbar presented it to him. (Because she's tired of all these things happening to her and no one considering how they affect her, but that's a whole different text post entirely--Which can hastily be summarized in I hate so many people except Mónica).

What's really precious is what happens with Felipe Mendevilla's number. Because then he asks. And he listens. And instead of going "Well, you shouldn't feel like that, this was wrong wrong wrong and I'm telling everyone about this, you psycho", he walks her through it. He goes, okay, I understand your emotions, but you must know, deep down, that your reaction to said emotions was unfair. He appeals to her own good judgement instead of hanging her at the altar of his own.

(Don't take me wrong tho, he's still a self-righteous bitch, but he's learning, alright?)

Now, while that whole thing ended in fiasco-- And I gotta blame Simón for this one because, has he ever heard of baby steps? He wants to appeal to her good judgement, okay, but the first task he asks of her is apologizing to her sworn nemesis; Seriously, Simón? Really? You truly thought that was the way to go? Okay-- I think it really shows how Simón also tried to make concessions to make things work with Ámbar. Because I see many discourses that go "Simón only wanted to change Ámbar, Ámbar had to change her whole self to be with him", and I just think that's not correct ?? Sure, it wasn't a 50/50 thing, absolutely, but surprise surprise! It almost never is in real relationships; and Simón did put in some effort, it just wasn't very grand compared to Ámbar-- But that's precisely why I'm making this post.

Between the sidewalk talk and the Felipe Mendevilla thing were some good 30 episodes or so, so about some weeks. In that time, Simón went from not thinking about motivations to actively asking for them and trying to guide her into a different, less hostile way to deal with things. And while, sure, the main motivator from his part was the attraction he felt towards her, absolutely, I think that's something he eventually could've been able to kill if he truly believed Ámbar was hopeless. Like, if she was just a bad person period.

Which is a very strong stance to take but that's precisely what he did by the end of season 2. When he says "You're full of hate" what he's saying is, this person is rotten inside, only a person rotten inside could do this; she is a bad person.

And I think, (besides the time he spent in Cancún which helped him to get some more perspective maybe and reconcile what he lived with Ámbar vs all the bad things Ámbar did), that the moment that really helped him make that mental shift was precisely that sidewalk talk. It was realizing "Oh, she's feeling bad about all of this", and "Oh, she actually has valid reasons to be feeling bad about all of this". Because from then on, Ámbar kept antagonizing the Roller, openly. Simón could've had all the reason in the world to go "She's just a bad person, let's forget about her". Except now he's got a glimpse into her point of view. And as he watches her --and he watches her a lot-- he starts realizing that something, just, doesn't fit. Sure, she does bad things, but she's not evil, he can tell. And then she hugs him at the lockers and he goes "Ah, right. This is not a bad person. This is a person grieving."

And that just makes all the difference, because she's not rotten inside; she's hurt.

"When we fail to consider the why, we fail to see the person." Simón starts seeing the person, and I gotta say, he was pretty much the only one, along with Mónica, who did.

And that, for this self-righteous bastard that I love so much, it's growth.

-----------

[You might have noticed I didn't mention their slow dance in episode 1 and that's because... narratively it makes no sense sdkfns. Like, don't take me wrong, I love it just as much as any simbar shipper, but were the writers on crack? I mean, after how season 2 ended, why the hell would Simón ask her to dance all flirty-like? Because it wasn't even a "Oh, everyone else already paired up and we have no one, I guess I'll dance with you" situation, it was right up "Dance with me if you dare *smirk* *bedroom eyes*"

Which, again, I love, but what the fuck sdkfns. The only explanation I can arrive to is just hormones dkjfn, which doesn't sit very right with me because that means he asked her because "Hey, you look hot and we made out once, wanna dance?" I- 🤣🤣🤣]

[olderthannetfic]

I'm in a very problematic fandom. The fanbase as a whole is awfully toxic in many ways in and outside of Tumblr.

I just. Feel so frustrated because I joined this fandom on here, Tumblr, expecting to simply exchange ideas, headcanons and make those rb additions in the form of artworks, funny additions etc. or even experience the 'why would you hide this in the tags' thing. The appeal of Tumblr to me was the way fans can interact with each other in such fun ways.

But then, not even a year of joining, I have to see antis, purity culture, the problematic-things discourses, which ship is bad and why (although when analyzed properly literally every ships are problematic in this fandom) and then, some people get popular and are well-received for being brave speaking about the 'problematic stuff' like all of these got soooooo bad and loud during that time and it just, went downhill from there on.

Breaks my heart every time I remember the state of my fandom because I have seen literally everyone breaking up with each other, even I myself have been cornered (although not directly mentioned, the implication is pretty obvious though) into making decisions of whom I want to stay friends/mutuals with and it's driving me insane because I've dealt with all these crap in real life -- though not as alike, but still a semblance to irl. And idk, maybe I have issues that makes me feel my experience on Tumblr is upsetting me so much... But seriously, I just can't deal with this fandom when every once in a while I would remember the cause and the divisions and the fights. And the one who started all that is not even in this fandom anymore. Personally, I sometimes think to myself, 'you came into this sandbox (fandom) inviting everyone else who follow you to throw sand at everyone else also in the sandbox and even kicking some out for not seeing/building the sandcastles as you guys believe they should be but now you choose to leave this sandbox with all the sand already everywhere?'. Sometimes I feel mad about it, sometimes I'm just, 'meh. This is life, things happen.'

Before I raise concern because of how tired I sound over being in here and in this fandom, hereby I clarify that yes xD I have a life outside of Tumblr, I am good with what I do outside of Tumblr. But God, it still just hurts to see and remember all this. I try to leave Tumblr sometimes, refusing to be active on here anymore but, there are no social platforms much like Tumblr. Where I can filter content and block and stuff I don't want. Sigh. Hellsite (affectionate).

Despite all that, I still refuse to leave this fandom. It's a huge one, I can still find a corner for myself. So at the very least, there's that... I am trying my hardest to just turn the other way whenever drama and discourse finds its way to my dash...but sometimes the urge to jump in is just so strong. I don't engage with them most of the time.

But if anything. I just wanna say these few things.

Racism is not the only issue in this world.

POCs can be racist too. Not just white people. There's no such thing as 'reverse racism' because racism is... racism. I live in a state where all of us are POCs though with different ethnicities, so I have learned to recognize extremists. These extremists would call 'racist! racism!' on literally anything without considering the whole issue/picture. And frankly, that is what I see is going on in my fandom. Maybe the other fandoms as well but I don't go to other fandoms as often.

That's all. If there are any other insights/perspectives to what this is, I'm all ears. I crave to hear other insights. And if I sound like I need help, I am working on that!

Sorry for this long rant. But thank you for allowing this (if you do). I just, have no idea how to get all this out anymore.

--