#seriously at this point just call it the fs show

[tomwambsgans]

tomgreg wedding would for sure not be very big. tom is a Wedding Guy but he also already did the Huge wedding and it did not turn out great. and there's no benefit this time to making it basically this massive public event that includes all their colleagues. even just taking all the people that tom may know as vague acquaintances through his career or from college, i feel like he would be hesitant to get all those people to come to another wedding, where this time he's marrying the previous bride's cousin. even if it wasn't a gay wedding, that's just so fucking messy and un-self-aware lol

so no, it could not be nearly as huge. but at the same time, they fs do not want it to look comparatively like they're eloping. it's got to still be a nice venue and a serious event. they're not trying to hide. both tom and greg DO want to show off how happy they are together, and to make this a point of very seriously and publicly declaring commitment and love. just also, it has to be careful because of tom's previous wedding.

inviting the roys would def be a huge discussion for them bc obviously it would be awkward as fuck for them to be there, but also by the time they're getting married it's certainly not a secret. shiv being there would be deeply awkward but not inviting her, if her brothers were, would seem targeted. i can't imagine a world tbqh where shiv becomes remotely supportive of tomgreg so honestly she probably wouldn't even WANT to come, so it's just a matter of appearances with the invitations, but they gotta account for how likely it is that any of the roys will call their bluff and actually come. roman is very likely to fuck shit up on purpose. shiv might even, too. kendall would care much less about tomgreg and more about tom being ceo, which would sour things for him. but personally I also think it's likely tom will stop being ceo and go on to do something more fulfilling some years post-finale, so maybe it would fine on that front. i imagine tom getting gerri and karolina to give him the rundown on exactly how public his and greg's relationship is, what the optics are, and what could happen to the company were they to get married... and perhaps, using the information he gets as an excuse to try to get out asap. but anyway connor and willa are definites, of course.

basically my thinking is that no matter what, the tomgreg wedding is getting pushed way out in the future just to make sure it doesn't look to the public like tom is remarrying super fast. it IS supposed to be a publicization of their relationship but they don't want their wedding to seem like it's for the whole world, so there's some amount of disregard that they need to have for the public eye, too. they're not trying to show off bc they don't want it to be reminiscent of the tomshiv wedding, but they do absolutely NEED it to be decadent. they don't want it to seem at all performative but it also can't seem too obviously like they're trying not to.

anyway with all this in mind i'm gonna go through each (main) potential tomgreg wedding venu and their pros and cons but also just how they might go

rome

for obvious reasons it has personal significance to them, and having their wedding at a place like that would reinforce that this is a personal event that just happens to be public. it would give the excuse for an explicitly ancient roman Theme, at least vaguely, since the venue itself would certainly have actual ancient architecture. i love to imagine the custom suits they'd certainly commission, the red and gold and white, and the inevitability of rings engraved with nero and sporus too. the main con here, of course, would be how on the nose it all is. i can imagine tom deciding that it's too much and would maybe in fact be bringing too much of their personal history out into the open. maybe they'd prefer that that stay between them.

elsewhere in italy

there's a ton of appealing wedding venues all throughout italy, including places that are not rome but still related to nero and sporus, but my main thought tbqh is how they related to wine. i've fully settled by now into the headcanon that tom and greg start running a winery at some point post-series, so that tom gets to have a more satisfying version of his metaphorical wine baby with greg. i've mentioned it before but as someone in the liquor business with a not insignificant stint in wine-tasting, i think what would fit them best is a cab franc. therefore they'd most likely be staying in the northeast of italy to do that. and obviously that doesn't mean their wedding would have to be in the same place, but it would be neat if having the wedding there doubled as them checking out the area. this could also put them around Lake Como, which was a place tom expressed interest in when discussing wedding venues with shiv, so. at the same time, knowing he explicitly mentioned it to shiv does feel like a downside. just bc i don't thing the tomgreg wedding would/should be remotely a redo of the tomshiv wedding.

st. paul, minnesota

it's funny, i knew about lake como in st. paul before i knew about como lake in italy. it would be a really fun little twist if that was the como that tom at which wound up having the actual wedding with the love of his life, specifically in his home town, too, to bring it home that greg understands who tom really is. the biggest downside of st. paul, imo, is also simultaneously an upside -- that the venue would be small. so they maybe wouldn't get to have much decadence, BUT they'd be trading that for the excuse to keep it small. as in, the excuse of family. of course it's contentious exactly how supportive of the wedding tom's extended family and old friends would actually be... though I think that if nothing else, they might come for the fact of his success. and those would be the exact people that tom would love to prove his happiness to.

old new york

this is the setting that i honestly think tom would have chosen for his first wedding if it were up to him. like, put up against lake como i imagine him taking a minute to waffle but ultimately deciding on this. once again the tomgreg wedding shouldn't be a redo of tomshiv, but this in particular is just SO tom. and also, i think, the last one that shiv would have chosen. for tom, nyc was a lifelong aspiration, and for shiv it's nothing. having like a 1940s nyc ball-style wedding is probably tom's dream, and i imagine greg having similar lingering awe about that whole vibe. biggest downside is how much more likely it is for it to get trashed, either by roys (cough cough roman) or by people who hold some kind of grudge re: ATN. but good security would probably render that null anyway.

cruise ship

biggest upside is that it would once again be an excuse for the wedding to be relatively small. and narratively it's a fun way to bring it back home to their beginnings in Parks & Cruises... and for that same reason probably not a great idea? like realistically, it's maybe playing with fire a bit lol. but there are so many ocean-related motifs around tomgreg, and also they're kinda stupid, so i can still see it. a destination wedding in particular, with a built-in honeymoon, also feels perfectly decadent that way. AND they could combine it with either an italy option or the old new york option.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Denzel Crocker

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Nickelodeon has produced some of the most iconic animated villains you could ever hope to find. Plankton, Vlad Masters, Zim, Princess Azula, Queen Vexus… The channel had way more hits than misses. But one of the most famous and iconic villains to come out of the channel was the fairy-obsessed teacher from Hell, Denzel Crocker.

The chief antagonist on The Fairly OddParents aside from the babysitter Vicky, Crocker was a cartoonish caricature of the sort of horrible figures a kid would need fairies to deal with in their life, making him something of the male counterpart to the aforementioned Vicky. Obsessed with slinging out Fs and capturing Timmy’s fairies to harness their powers, Crocker was a fun and hilarious enemy who brought the show all sorts of hilarious scenarios…

...Until he didn’t. Crocker is unique among Nickelodeon villains in that he underwent some of the most severe character decay you could ever see from a villain in a long-running franchise. But does it detract from his iconic status and make him a worse villain, or is it just a particularly ugly footnote on a truly fun antagonist?

Motivation/Goals: Mr. Crocker has one single mission in life, and that mission is to once and for all show everyone he isn’t a delusional madman by proving the existence of

His main target right from his first appearance is Timmy Turner, which leads to some really interesting situations. Crocker knows Timmy has fairies, but he can’t exactly prove it definitively, and so we get no end of zany schemes as he tries to prove fairies are real. And as weird and insane as he is, he actually comes fairly close quite a few times.

He also really loves to fail his students. Aside from the fairy obsession, this is his main character trait. Essentially, he is the worst teacher imaginable.

Performance: Crocker is performed by Carlos Alazraqui, one of the MVPS of voice acting; my man was Rocko (whose Modern Life you may be familiar with), the titular Lazlo of Camp Lazlo, Spyro in the original PS1 game, and even the Taco Bell chihuahua. His Crocker voice is honestly similar to his Rocko voice, albeit a lot more nerdy and conniving, and it certainly suits the put-upon scheming teacher. He really is one lucky son of a bitch, getting to voice two of the most iconic characters in Nickelodeon history… and also Winslow on CatDog.

Best Episodes: Crocker’s proudest moment is undoubtedly Abra-Catastrophe, where for a little while he actually manages to conquer the Earth after harnessing the power of Cosmo and Wanda. His epic duel with Timmy across time and space is about as cool as a villain could possibly get on this show.

Another contender is definitely “The Secret Origin of Denzel Crocker,” which features Timmy going back in time and witnessing the events that molded his teacher into the man he is today. It turns out the reason he’s such a weirdo is because Timmy fucked everything up and caused him to lose his fairies, which just so happened to be Cosmo and Wanda. Not only is this a pretty great and hilarious example of a character creating their own enemy, it also somehow predicted a major plot point in Artemis Fowl: The Time Paradox six years early. I’m not kidding, the book involves time travel and Artemis ends up having to mind wipe his younger self, and said mind wipe leaves a lingering trace of an idea to kidnap fairies. Eoin Colfer, you’ve got some explaining to do.

Best Quote: You’re really going to ask that? Seriously? It’s obviously

There is at least one other notable Crocker quote, one that became a meme because Mr. Crocker sounds like he’s saying something he… uh… doesn’t really have a pass to say:

Final Thoughts & Score: Mr. Crocker presents to me an interesting problem. You see, if we are going by the earlier seasons, Mr. Crocker is probably one of the best villains on Nickelodeon. He’s funny, he’s zany, he can be a threat when it’s called for, and he has one of the best episodes of the series as his focus as well as an awesome movie where he gets to be the big bad. By all accounts, he should get to sit up with some of the truly great villains in animation history!

But Crocker is also the subject of some of the most intense flanderization imaginable. TVTropes defines flanderization as “The act of taking a single (often minor) action or trait of a character within a work and exaggerating it more and more over time until it completely consumes the character. Most always, the trait/action becomes completely outlandish and it becomes their defining characteristic, turning them into a caricature of their former selves.” It’s pretty undeniable Crocker got hit with this hard compared to a lot of the other characters, which is saying something because everyone on the show ended up flanderizaed. The big issue is in the later seasons Crocker ended up overexposed and put in ridiculous situations that didn’t play well to his strengths as a character. What was once a beloved villain became a character that half the fans can’t stand and the other half love, and both answers are honestly valid considering what we’re presented with.

For comparison, Vlad Masters is another Butch Hartman villain who underwent flanderization, mainly because Hartman is incapable of not running character traits into the ground for the sake of “humor.” The difference there, and why I’d still say Vlad is a great villain while Crocker is something of a fallen titan is because of consistency. It’s hard to deny Crocker peaked pretty early in the show’s run with Abra-Catastrophe and “The Secret Origin of Denzel Crocker,” while Vlad managed to stay consistently a threat up until “Phantom Planet” despite suffering from Butch Hartman’s trademark bad character decisions. You don’t ever really feel like Vlad’s fucking around, but Crocker? This dude became nothing but fucking around in the twilight years of the show. It also helps that Danny Phantom is a more serialized show with stronger continuity than The Fairly OddParents, which means Vlad developing in any direction is a lot more palatable than in a show where the episodes tend to be pretty standalone and negative continuity is used when needed.

I think the villain I’d most compare Crocker to is Sideshow Bob of The Simpsons. Both are great, iconic villains with fun vocal performances and all sorts of crazy schemes… But both also underwent serious flanderization that led to them being stretched pretty thin and their roles in their respective shows starting to make less and less sense as they appeared more and more. But while Bob is still one of TV’s greatest villains despite his motives decaying thanks to plenty of strong episodes and the sheer power of Kelsey Grammer, The Simpsons knows to use him sparingly, unlike poor Mr. Crocker.

All of this being said… does it really hold him back from greatness? Does how bad he became reflect on how great and fun he was originally? This was actually really hard, and I went back and forth for a long time. I considered having him as low as a six for his poor later appearances and as high as a nine for his early ones, but I think we need to meet in the middle somewhere. So for the first time ever, I’m giving out a fractional score, awarding Mr. Crocker a 7.5/10, leaning a little closer to an 8. The later years of the show certainly handled him badly, but they handled everyone badly, so it’s hard to single him out as the biggest problem. It definitely doesn’t help him score higher, but nothing can take Abra-Catastrophe away from him.

Oh, and I suppose should mention the live action Crocker played by David James Lewis in those dumb Drake Bell TV specials. To keep it brief, he is legitimately one of the best parts of those specials, nails Crocker’s mannerisms, and he can share that score up there.

[buzzcat]

Fic Rec - Geneviève Nikiforova's Easy Guide on How to Get a Son-in-law, by @crossroadswrite

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice (Anime) Wordcount: 6,282 Tags: Victor Nikiforov's Extremely Good Gay Moms, attempted humor, Matchmaking, Meddling Moms, Different First Meetings, Pre-Canon, pre-sochi, Canon Divergence, Vicchan Lives, POV Outsider  Summary: “Are you into power tops, Vitya?” Instead of answering, Vitya chokes on his tea. “Mama!” “Well. Are you?” (Or: Local Dramatic Mom Makes Grindr Account to Find Her Son a Husband, What Happens Next Will Warm Your Heart.) Context for Newbies: Victor and Yuuri are professional ice skaters. Yuuri trains in America, and so is away from home (also known as Yu-topia, a hot springs resort in Hasetsu) for a long time. Victor’s moms are OCs, and also delightful. Note: fic contains scenes of drinking alcohol, in case anyone wants the heads-up

okay, first thing to note is that this fic is actually in a series called “Victor Nikiforov's Extremely Good Gay Moms“, and I would heartily recommend anything in that series. Geneviève and Victoria are just so much fun, Geneviève especially in this fic as the point of view character.

honestly, I love this fic so much just because it’s like eight of my favorite tropes all together. we’ve got a POV character that isn’t the main character from the show, we’ve got an ensemble cast, we’ve got happy families, we’ve got dogs, we’ve got two (two!!) pairs of queer character who are mindblowingly in love with each other. i’ve read this fic easily four or five times, and I love it so much each time because it’s so happy. Geneviève as a character just radiates happiness, so getting this story from her perspective lends a real joy to reading it, regardless of content.

if I had to pick something that makes this fic top-notch, aside from the fact it’s delightful and well-written and the dialogue all absolutely sparkles and I love it, it’s on the strength of these OCs. Geneviève and Victoria’s dynamic is quickly and easily established (seriously I’m rereading the fic now and there’s not a single interaction between that doesn’t tell you they’re ridiculously in love), and anyone familiar with YoI canon can clearly see how these two people would have a son like Victor. (also crossroadswrite is just a really great author, 10/10 would recommend, personally also a huge fan of her BNHA fic “fs in the chat and other forms of emotional support“)

Favorite Line: “We could skate together in the rink tomorrow,” Vitya offers.

“That’s nice,” Yuuri says, absentmindedly. He’s been speaking to Vitya with a certain dreamy quality to his voice. It is very cute. “I want to skate against you too, yes?”

“Yes,” Vitya says readily.

“I want to, ah, what’s- what’s the word? Hmm… I want to… destroy you. Gently.”

Geneviève can’t see what sort of face Yuuri is making, but Victor’s face goes uncharacteristically red, eyes wide.

[outlandishwhalesharks]

Uuugggg I wanna live in an alternate timeline where fs are purely platonic :/

[genshin-impact-fics]

Streamer!Genshin Reacting to Character!(Y/N) Dying in Game

!Warning!: Major character deaths & angst

Characters: Diluc, Venti, Childe, & Zhongli

Diluc:

It was a race to get inside one of the bases of the Abyss Order to put a stop to whatever plans they were in the process of executing that could potentially put many lives in danger. Diluc was rather calm while playing though it would be a lie to say that it wasn’t a bit annoying that the route to the domain was timed

It was once inside the domain did things pick up fast as it seemed to be a fighting wave system which after beating the first two rooms there was a short scene where in the end Lisa and Amber stayed behind to hold off the incoming enemies so the rest of the group could go further. It seemed like forever doing some of the puzzles to unlock the doors to reach the next fight

In that fourth room after the defeat of hilichurls and abyss mages did suddenly a short cut scene appear to show the appearance of an Abyss Lector. As remembering how much he hated fighting this guy in the spiral abyss he already knew what he was in for; however that was until your character stepped forward with your weapon ready. Diluc was actually sad to have to leave you behind as he was hoping that you’d be one of the characters that went with him to the very end

“I think I’ve watched enough shows and movies to know what this could be leading up to.” He’d comment to his viewers as he finally reached the destination where the Abyss Herald was. Finishing the fight triggered another cutscene as the traveler’s sibling appeared and was making their small speech, asking if the lives of the “friends” the traveler made were worth losing

Diluc is watching with a straight face as he kinda expected this but the who was what he wasn’t sure about and truthfully the only one he’d be truly heartbroken about is your death, but they wouldn’t kill you now of all times right? Wrong; soon the cutscene finally came across where they had left you and you were leaning against the wall extremely injured with your weapon laying beside you. Diluc is frowning cuz he has to watch you die now

Listening to your final words as you spoke to no one Diluc would sulk in his chair a little. In the last moment before your eyes closed, if you mentioned something about not getting to tell his character your true feelings it is visible that Diluc looks like he wants to cry(but he doesn't). Once the screen showed the mission complete he’d grab the plush he had of your character and hold it looking at his camera. “Of all the characters I thought were going to die, I wasn’t ready for it to be (y/n).” At that point he’d probably call it a day from there but he’d still talk to his viewers as he probably would watch the tribute videos that fans had already made

Venti:

Everything was in chaos as it looked like archon war 2 was going to be taking place, but this time it was a war between the Abyss Order and the Archons. He was heading to Mondstadt to help and to check on you. Dvalin was flying around sending attacks at the abyss members. “Ah traveler there you are!” The sound of your voice as you landed before him; as weird as it was to see you in your archon robes was odd but you looked so good! After a short conversation you had gone flying off and it was time to get back to fighting

Things were looking good as it seemed like they were winning against the abyss order though it wasn’t over yet. It was until up in the air did a cutscene starting showing you and the traveler’s sibling fighting going at it. Venti is so captivated by how serious and cool you look fighting, but it all changed when the sibling landed a blow that caused you to fall from the sky ending up falling into the Whispering Woods

Venti couldn’t run fast enough to get to the woods to check up on you but when he did the first thing he saw was the sibling standing before you. He’s already sad and yelling at the sibling for hurting you though it seemed that now he was there the sibling went and disappeared revealing the real condition you were in. “No, no, no! This better not mean (y/n)’s dying.” He’d say in denial as he’s already starting to cry a little

“A-Ah Windblume h-haha… Sorry you have to see me like this.” Even in a moment like this you gave him such a cheesy grin until you seemed to grimace in pain. “Unfortunately it seems like… This is it for me. As long as the winds blow I will always be with you, so please watch over Mondstadt for me.” Your words were making Venti cry as it was like back in your story quest but only ten times worse. And to think it was already painful as it was your next words that did him in. “Maybe in another life we will find each other again and maybe then we can be together.”

Watching you start to glow until you turned into partials of light till nothing of you was left, Venti is devastated. The chat is crying with him as he’s saying how awful it was that his sibling had killed the love of his life! His viewers are going to send him fanart and fics to look at that was an alternative that you lived in the game

Childe:

It was a big fight with the confrontation of the Fatui Harbingers, facing off against one of the other stronger members that blocked the path to proceed to seeing the Tsaritsa. The boss’ first stage was fine; however during the second stage it seemed after losing a certain amount of health the damage that Childe was dealing significantly decreased.

It was when the cutscene started that Childe was already dreading the foul legacy form he’d be facing this time. You suddenly came out of nowhere and already in your foul legacy form yourself Childe is going crazy over how cool you look; he’s also swooning at the fact that you’ve come to his rescue. The fighting progressed until you landed a successful hit that weakened the other harbinger; however, at that same time the other harbinger managed to hit you with a powerful attack

Childe is screaming at the sight of your mask breaking while you fell to the ground. He’s so glad that his character is running over to check on you instead of the fight picking right up, but he’s already feeling the feels hit him hard cuz he hates seeing you hurt. Seeing you back to normal, the damage you sustained was really bad; then the worst thought came to his mind. “This-This better not be what I think it is,” he’s saying not looking away from the screen listening to you weakly talk

“Haha don’t give me that look sweetie, I couldn’t just let this be where your journey ends.” Hearing those words and the nickname you used for his character was sad. “To think we’d be able to travel together more, but hey… Promise you won’t stop fighting and could you look after my siblings for me.” Childe is literally crying now that the reality of the situation is clear. If he gets a choice of dialog to choose from he is going to pick the choice that says that he pinky promises

If your character smiled at the choice he wanted to smile but he’s also just sad, you were dying in his character's arms. If you had given a small love confession in the little bit of life that was in you, he’s going to ugly sob and once the fight was starting again he needs to pause by going into his bag

Immediately he goes getting his big plush of you and coming back to hug it and cleaning his tears with his sleeve before looking at the camera. “I wasn’t ready for this, my baby!” He was not expecting to be losing you; he figured that some characters would possibly die but you were the last character he thought would be killed off in the game. There’s Fs in the chat all around and the crying emote; it’s sad boi hours in this chili’s. He doesn't wanna do the fight but also he gotta avenge you so this last stage fight was for you. Afterwards he’s gonna go look at fanart and video edits

Zhongli:

After helping some of the other nations and their archon’s fend off the abyss order it was time he headed to Liyue to find you. Of course as usual it wasn’t going to be as easy as running around the harbor until he got word from Xiao that you were in Cuijue Slope. So he headed over to help you before anything seriously bad could happen to you

Getting to the open area there you were fighting against the sibling as you were even in your archon robes. Going in and interrupting the fight his sibling clearly looked annoyed and proceeded to try to get him to side with them which of course he didn’t. A Herald appeared to allow the sibling to get away which the fight with the Herald commenced

Just when Zhongli finished up the fight thinking he had won it strangely went to a cutscene as his character and you started to talk; however it was when the fallen Herald came out of nowhere about to attack his character but must to his surprise you shielded him not only taking the hit, but also using your elemental burst to finish off the enemy. Zhongli is frowning at how badly you were hurt as he already has a bad feeling this wasn’t going to end good; the traveler was helping you sit up after having fallen over

“I’m glad to see that you aren’t hurt my friend.” You said as you certainly have seen better days. “Sadly I believe my time has come… Do not be sad dear friend, I have lived many many years… As knowing you has been life changing. Though rocks change from erosion, know that no time will change how I felt about you.” Your words broke his heart as you had such a soft expression on your face as your body began to glow and before he knew it you turned into particles of light and disappeared. He probably wouldn’t cry at most maybe a tear but he is clearly upset about your passing in game and would take a break to talk to his viewers and maybe look at the fanart that surprisingly had been put out already

[pinkjiminssi]

So.. About That Hickey..

I think I’m still processing all of this and reminding myself I’m not dreaming 🤣 I seriously only got 3 hours of sleep last night and when I woke up the first thing I did was check twitter to be sure this “drunk bridal-style spinning hickey neck biting proudly showing off” moment actually happened!! 

.. I hate the way my brain works though. I was so happy that it took me forever to fall asleep, spent all day on cloud 9 despite being tired, .. and then my old nemesis, anxiety, stepped in. Well kind of. TBH if all of the MOTS ON:E Jikook moments we got happened with Jimin/anyone else or Jungkook/anyone else.. I would seriously be sitting here saying “well fuck.. I believe they WERE a couple, but looking at all of this it seems they are no longer together.” So really, this just confirmed what I already knew about Jimin and Jungkook: they’re a couple. My anxiety is over.. why? Why show us this? If they can cover all of JK’s tattoos, a hickey/bite mark/whatever we’re calling it should be super easy to hide. Sure it was just rehearsal.. but it was rehearsal with cameras rolling with every intention of releasing what was being filmed as future content. It could have (and some might argue should have) been covered.

Guys... I’m confused. And concerned. ❗❗❗ TW for drama, hate, homophobia, the usual anti issues

That “official” explanation.. again.. why? I’m assuming Jimin and Jungkook were asked and allowed to explain because of the chance of it being spotted and armys freaking out, so BH (or possibly even Jikook) thought to get ahead of the speculation by just being up front about it all.. but THAT explanation? I suppose it works for covering up the army panic of “Jungkook has a girlfriend?! *insert fangirl sobbing*” .. but that’s literally all it does (and only barely if you go looking at some of the anti’s reactions to it all). Really, all it did was draw even more attention and speculation. I mean.. this is, essentially, what we were told: Jimin and Jungkook were together the night before drinking, apparently without the other members as they didn’t seem to know all of this already (and they would have if they had been there), somehow hanging out and having drinks turns into Jungkook picking Jimin up bridal style (random but some of the k-army reactions on twitter were translating through google into “princess style” and I just think that’s so cute 🥰), spinning ensues, Jimin gets dizzy and wants Jungkook to put him down, ... and so he proceeds to do the only logical thing that any of us would have done in that situation... biting Jungkook’s neck? And hard enough to leave a mark the next day?? And instead of being peeved about it (like most of us would have been if our friend bit the crap out of us), Jungkook looks happy?? proud even??? 

And they arrived together the next day and continue to be cute and playful? 

I just.. I mean.. come on. First of all.. that’s a hickey. A bite leaves teeth marks. And one would assume a wild, drunken “let me down” chomp would be something that happens suddenly and ends very quickly. I know I for sure would drop someone on their ass if they decided to take a bite out of my neck (assuming I was even picking up and spinning around with one of my friends like that to begin with.. but let’s not even get into why that was going on at this point) .. but the way this bruised? Yeah. There were no teeth involved (at least not hard enough to leave indentations) and this took more than a couple of seconds of mouth-to-neck contact to still be that visible the next day. So.. in short. Jungkook arrives with a hickey, JK decides to not cover it up (or he would have shown up with it hidden and we see him get out of the car that morning with it clearly visible), BH staff sees it and also decides to not have it covered up and actually have it explained... and the explanation is “oh yeah Jimin just bit him, you know.. no big deal hehehe isn’t that funny?” 🤯 WHAT?! Yeah.. that’s totally normal, platonic behavior between adults...

I’m not saying Jimin and Jungkook are lying btw. I have no doubt it played out more or less exactly as they said with the exception of what they’re calling the end result. Jimin and Jungkook are fine.. I mean, what were they supposed to say? They’re not going to show up saying Jimin was sucking on Jungkook’s neck the night before. We’ll probably never know why Jungkook decided to not cover it up before arriving, but it’s his body and he gets to decide. It’s BH that has me so puzzled. Other than antis and people who refuse to see what’s literally right in front of their faces when it comes to Jikook.. who were BH expecting to believe the bite thing? Just among staff and the other members, it’s a laughable but safe “oh of course *wink wink*” explanation that allows everyone to carry on like normal. But to the public who don’t know them personally, don’t know their usual behavior and patterns, and who don’t have something like a non-disclosure agreement or professional courtesy preventing them from openly speculating.. it doesn’t fly. Pretty much everyone teen and up knows what a hickey looks like (either from having gotten/given one or at least seeing one on someone else in person or online). It’s immediately obvious what it is. And even if there was some uncertainty.. that it’s on his neck (instead of other easily accessible and less sensitive/stimulating locations) and just so happens to be right near his mole as it Jimin were aiming for it? Just another “too many coincidences” thing when it comes to Jikook.

Even antis on twitter couldn’t deny what it was and, so, had to resort to the “well I do that with my sibling and my uncle’s pet raccoon all the time it’s just family things” excuse and/or the “yeah well someone ELSE in the group (or a girlfriend) gave him that and they’re just covering by saying it was Jimin.” Oh. And the same old “it’s just fan service” excuse (as if Jungkook would let someone bruise his neck for the purposes of fanservice which, again, BTS has never done or needed to do. Forever pissed off that so many in this fandom act like Jungkook is a puppet doing whatever the “evil company” tells him to do regardless of his personal feelings or boundaries. The man has tattoos covering nearly every inch of his arm despite that being looked down on in Korea. At this point he can do whatever the fuck he wants). So.. why?? Seriously, why? This all could have easily been avoided with simple makeup.

When they’re doing official content they’re all literally followed around by a flurry of staff fixing hair, dabbing sweat, touching up makeup, etc. Even though it was rehearsal, staff were everywhere in the footage that’s made its way online. If they were worried that it would be seen in the background and “taken the wrong way,” just have the staff occasionally touch up the makeup. “Easy peasy lemon squeezy.” But instead of doing the obvious, BH decides to: not cover it, draw attention to it by asking about it and letting them continue to talk about it, go out of their way to get a camera on it, and then include it in the final cut of the content they sent out?

BTS is literally the most popular group in the world right now and BH has become a behemoth of a company that runs like a well-oiled machine. They’re not stupid; this was not a mistake. For some reason they wanted us to see this and, one would assume based on the lack of a more believable explanation, they wanted us to come to the conclusion that we all have: Jimin gave Jungkook a hickey. You know they have teams dedicated to monitoring reactions to content on social media. You know they know the dialog surrounding Rosebowl, Black Swan MMA, the Memories 2020 “almost kiss,” etc. etc. All of this got “jikook,” “hickey” and variations of their names trending for HOURS (in multiple countries and worldwide). 

Out of curiosity, I decided to check the trends at the time of writing this. As of 3 AM CST (about 24 hours AFTER the clips started showing up online), there was still a hashtag trending related to all of this: #FREEJUNGKOOK.. and the tweets being directed toward BH are.. disturbing to say the least:

While I agree that the boys should trend more often based on their talents and music.. what’s going on right now is a homophobic 💩 show accusing BH of “scripting” interactions (rather than.. you know.. Jungkook interacting with whoever he wants however he wants.. the usual “mindless puppet JK” narrative), trying to coordinate the mass sending of angry emails, trying to get people to stop buying paid content, accusing BH of taking advantage of the members.. I mean it goes on and on. And BH know what’s going on right now. They’re seeing the reactions... the good and the extremely negative. And still they let this out. And this is all not even CONSIDERING the mountain of other moments that made the cut on MOTS ON:E. 

(side note, the above pic just oozes happiness and it’s so cute I love it!! 😭)

So.. even though I’ve said it dozens of times already... WHY? W H Y? I’m an anxious person by nature and not very trusting. I believe Jimin and Jungkook and I don’t think they’ve been lying and pretending for “fanservice” all of these years. I respect them both too much as individuals and artists to believe that they would stoop to such tactics just to generate a little more “interest” and revenue. I’m suspicious of BH. BTS doesn’t need fanservice to get attention; literally all of 2020 and 2021 so far has proven that beyond a doubt. Even if they suddenly made the decision to do fs.. why not go with the most popular ship (taekook) or at least one that isn’t so hotly debated on social media (remove Jimin, Jungkook and Tae from the equation and you still have four members to “play” with who have much less potential to have fs devolve into a toxic crap show all over the internet). Showing us this will do nothing to help BTS as a group or Jimin and Jungkook at this point. In fact.. all it can do is hurt. Hurt BH, hurt the group, and hurt the individual members, heck.. even potentially hurt other BH/HYBE groups. I’ve already seen people on twitter saying they’re “done” spending money on anything BH or BTS puts out because they’re “sick of jikook in their faces and just two of the seven hogging all of the screen time.” Whether or not that “spending freeze” actually materializes into anything noticeable remains to be seen of course.. but the threat is there and always has been. What is the motive? And why now? As much as my “hopeless romantic” heart would like to believe they’re preparing us for Jikook to be “out” .. I seriously don’t think that is ever going to happen. Certainly not now at the height of the group’s fame, with them being given Presidential honors and ambassador status, and with military service still looming over them all. And let’s not forget... Korea is NOT a safe place for a queer couple. Letting us see and know what they did through what was released has the potential to put Jimin and Jungkook (and the other members by proxy) in danger. Sure.. BTS has never been hardline rule followers and have been breaking molds and shattering norms from the start, so “officially” having an openly gay couple in the group wouldn’t be impossible.. just... highly highly improbable. Especially right now... and I’m concerned. I don’t want to sound like the creeps I posted a screenshot of above throwing blame at the company. The boys chose to renew their contracts with the for a reason so we have to trust their judgement as a group... but still, I’m worried and I’m questioning what the purpose was here. 

[vale-studies-ir]

Hello lovely people!

It seems that life made me take a leave of absence from tumblr. Thanks to all of you who have continued to interact with my page! I'm sorry if I've missed any messages or questions in the time that I've been away. I'm back now and I'll continue to share my journey with you all...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In order to be able to keep moving forward, I think it's important to accept the past and move on. Accept any of the difficulties that happened, and see them as moments you've gone through that have made you stronger. My way of accepting and turning over a new page will be through this post.

I haven't shared too much information about my studies and how they've been going. My studyblr was very new, and I was using it more as a means for motivation by seeing all the wonderful things people in the community were doing. Little by little, I started to make posts of my own.

So let me formally introduce myself and share my ongoing journey...

My name is Valentina, I go by Vale for short. I jumped from graduating from my BA in International Relations and Political Science in the Spring of 2018 to starting my PhD studies in International Relations the Fall semester of that same year. No break, very smart... I know. That's only just the beginning. I'm not sure how it works abroad, but here doctoral students usually go through most of their studies being funded by a graduate assistantship. This pays tuition and provides a stipend through working as a TA (graduate teaching assistant). Of course they vary across universities and departments. When I was applying to the PhD program, one of my professors advised me not to accept if I was not given funding. There are only a limited number of spots that are given to incoming students each year that will be accepted as a TA.

In March of 2018 I received notification that I was accepted into the PhD program in International Relations at my university, however, the department could not guarantee funding for me. This put me at a loss, and I spend months wondering where this was going and what I would do. Because I'm an immigrant in the US, though I've been living here practically my whole life, I didn't have too many options. My mobility is constrained.. my access to scholarships is constrained (even though I may qualify for them in terms of academics and merit, migration status trumps over all of it). I was lost, to say the least. My family can't afford to have paid for this program or a Master's program out of pocket, and I am not able to take out student loans even if I wanted to.

Regardless of this all, I still attended the incoming graduate student orientation; which surprised the outgoing graduate program director. She did not think I would show up, considering the whole funding predicament. She and the new GPD told me that they would try to find something for me. On the first day of class, I showed up, still not knowing what would become of this situation. Not knowing if I would actually get to start the semester or not. We are usually given a week to pay tuition - because of status, I am considered an international student so my tuition came out to nearly $10,000 for three courses. That day, out of nowhere, I was told that the dean of our school (School of International and Public Affairs) was looking for a graduate assistant for new projects that he wanted to work on. In the span of a few hours, I ended up interviewing with him, being told that they would let me know because there was another student they were considering, and later being called and told that I got the position. I was ecstatic. I called my parents in tears. This was actually happening; I was actually going to be able to start my PhD.

It all happened so fast. It all seemed so exciting. The dean seemed very enthusiastic and pleased that I would be working with him. Things eventually took a turn for the worst...

Transitioning into graduate school itself is extremely difficult. Many graduate students find themselves experiencing heightened stress and strain on their mental health. I did not give myself the space to transition into graduate school without the added stress of being a doctoral student, without the added expectations. On top of that, the dean had not had a graduate assistant before. This was new for him too. The expectations of me were blurred and my contract would only last for a year to be considered for possible renewal (the typical TA contract in my original department lasts 4 years), this led to disaster. I needed this position to continue to fund my studies, so I needed to make sure that I was on top of my work expectations. Because these expectations were unclear, the dean's secretary took advantage. It seems they were short staffed, and I was given administrative tasks that did not belong to me. I was made to come in to the office for strictly 20 hours a week. (Our contract states that we work up to 20 hours a week). If I was ever sick and missed a day, that would be added onto the hours for the next week. So if I missed a day where I was supposed to be in the office for 5 hours, I'd have to be there for 25 hours the following week. A breach in the contract, I know - but who was I, a lowly student, against the dean? This office (a shared space) was not a place where a person could focus on studying. There were students coming in and out, loud conversations occurring, and having to see if the actual student employee in charge of taking phone calls was at their desk - if not, I would have to man the phone. While I was doing administrative tasks for the dean's secretary, the dean was having me create themed presentations and CO-LECTURE with him. Me, a person who had been an undergraduate student only months earlier. I had to create these presentations from scratch and know all of the material. All of my focus had to be on this. My performance in my own classes and mental health declined quickly. I could not focus, I could not get my reading assignments done, I felt unprepared. I felt like a failure.

After a year, I realized that it was not worth to have my tuition paid for if I could not focus on my classes and was set up for failure. It took a lot, but ultimately I turned down the contract renewal. Here comes the fun part. My GPA dropped tremendously. I graduated Magna Cume Laude just a year before. I developed depression and didn't realize it; to the point where a friend practically made me go to counseling. The office manager at my actual department knew what I was going through. I had shared a lot of my experience with her. She advocated for me. Because of this, I was told that there was a student who had been awarded an assistantship for the incoming Fall 2019 semester, but had decided not to take it. The contract was going to be made for me instead, for not 4 but for 5 years since I had only come in with a BA degree. When they ran it through the associate dean's office... it was denied. My GPA was lower than the threshold. A LOT lower. I was told by the GPD - the same woman who had just started her position that said she would help me, the woman that had gone on maternity leave during that whole year after she started meaning she was not aware of the situation - that I should really take my studies more seriously. She received a very long email from me and apologized afterwards, to say the least. Nothing could be done.

I had no funding, only savings and ended up working Full Time in Fall of 2019 in order to try to pay for 1 course, that costed me a little over $3,000. Somehow, even though I strongly considered it, I managed not to drop out. By this time, the majority of the courses I had taken before had INs - incomplete grades. Two of them had automatically turned into Fs. Things were not okay.

I got a bit of a mental break during that Fall semester. I worked in a friendly environment. The office manager pulled some strings and let me work as an office assistant there... so I was still at my department, but working as staff. It was a little awkward. I'm eternally grateful to her, she became a close friend. And because of her, someone at another department got word that there was a graduate student who needed funding.

This office manager was good friends with a recently graduated phd student from our department who is now working for a different center in the university. Because she was part of my department, many of my current colleagues know her, and are good friends with her. We spoke, I rushed to get my GPA up to the 3.0 threshold and with the help of my professor's I was able to be awarded an assistantship with that center. I started in December of 2019.

Again, I was ecstatic. Things were looking up. When I went in for the first time, I immediately felt a huge difference. It was a smaller, more homey place; and a lovely environment to be in. The people there were sweet and caring. I've gotten along with the few professors I've had the chance of meeting and working with.

Where did it start going downhill? The professor that recommended me (graduate from my home department) continuously requested that I work with her. Her reason being that I got along better with her (something that I was not aware of). Because she considered herself as my friend, professional lines were horribly blurred. I found myself doing additional work for her as a "favor for a friend." She then started having us meet multiple times a week for hours - distracting from the time I needed to actually get work done. This center does not cap classes - I've had to grade for up to 400 students in one semester. The meetings she scheduled were incredibly unproductive, and I found myself having to take extra time to get the grading done. Again, my own studies were effected. The past academic year went on like this. I ended up assisting in creating a new course and new assignments from scratch.

Later I noticed that something was wrong. I was doing way more work than stipulated by my contract. She was giving me access to her courses that I was not assigned to grade for. Instead of assisting for one course in the semester (the one with the highest enrollment), I was assisting for three. This was constantly under the guise of 'friendship'. How was I supposed to reject my 'friend'? When I tried to draw professional boundaries, I was met with resistance.

My mental health declined again in the fall and I missed a few of her scheduled meetings (meetings which she said were NOT mandatory). Because of this, she decided to throw me under the bus with the director and making it seem as if I was not actually working - when I was addressing students' needs and getting grades in. This worsened in the Spring. With the help of my counselor I finally got the courage to communicate with her. Albeit through text, because she's the type of person that does not allow you to get a word in during conversation.

"On that note, there’s something I’ve wanted to talk about. I’ve been struggling with concentration and fatigue. This is something that I’ve been working on with my doctor to try to find solutions. I’ve noticed that being in Zoom meetings in general where there’s casual conversation makes it exceptionally difficult for me to focus on what I’m trying to get done. This has been problematic in the work zoom meetings. You probably have noticed I seem really quiet, that is because I’m trying my hardest to focus.

I need to be able to focus during the time I’m assigned to work as a GA. Otherwise, I must take more time to complete tasks that normally wouldn’t take up that long or just wait until the weekends to finish them. That is conflicting as I have set that time to work on class assignments and my own projects. So in the end I end up falling behind and not working well because my productivity levels are being affected."

She seemed to understand me and be supportive. Then I noticed coldness, and condescending passive aggressive texts from her part.

I realized that I could not do this any longer. I could not allow myself to continuously be taken advantage of. Both of the people I've worked for were aware of my vulnerable situation due to migration status. They both knew that it was not easy for me to pay for my studies through any other means. My studies depended on these people, and if they 'liked' me. They abused and absorbed my time to the extent that my studies suffered tremendously.

But I finally stood up for myself. I spoke with the director and she affirmed that my concerns were valid. Time and time again she assured me that my studies should always come first. She supported me. I will no longer be assigned to work with this person.

I finally feel heard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been 3 years since I started my program. A lot has happened in this time. I have a lot of catching up to do this summer if I want to stay on track and take my comprehensive exams by the end of the year. But someone finally heard me, acknowledged the wrongdoings and helped me.

Don't let people walk over you and take advantage of you. I'm learning this the hard way.

Speak your truth.

[gogosingularity]

BTS TAROT. 01

PSA. I wrapped this post while listening to Smyang's 'Tokyo' by RM (Piano Cover), you can give it a try here. In case you want to do the same.

I’ve been reading ‘BTS TAROT’ subject for six months now. However it’s all started with another episode of youtube algorithm, just like the first time I grew interest toward BTS. After BTS fanmade crack videos came to my youtube home, they lead me to another video and the snow is still pretty much rolling to this day.

One video about ‘Mrs. Jeon’ came to my home on youtube and I’m intrigued to check what is it. Got to read their readings for other members Future Spouse (FS) as well. I actually don’t know what to call the people who do this. I’ll call them ‘them’, ‘their’, and ‘these people’. Pretty sure they are still human.

The first two months getting into this is frustrating. I feel bad for Bangtan as they are human themselves, I feel bad for these people who do this, I feel bad for people who consume this subject mindlessly. Some of you are lonely and horny all the time. It looks like ‘all the time’ due to time zone. Somewhere is night and some people just activated their horny button but in different place, it’s early morning and there are people already thinking about sensual thoughts, IN THE MORNING. It’s actually possible. Look. Explaining human behavior is complex. I won’t elaborate this matter now.

The way I present my thoughts here is me projecting what I believe about this matter.

The practice of tarot reading and everything similar or related to this is wayy.. older than everyone’s existence on tumblr. From the casual reading to manifesting for specific things. I never know what’s in one’s mind when they read ‘BTS tarot’. At least, I know mine.

I read more about astrology than tarot in the past. On positive side, I read astrology to guide and give me insights for my life. Surprisingly, I have found some great blogs about BTS astrology readings on tumblr. Several of my placement similar to several members that I think I can take the readings for myself. It’s a blessing that I can see part of myself can be explained using public figure I adored as an example.

After months, how’s it going now?

The answer is I think I understand what’s going on now. Haha.

When I keep getting recommended BTS tarot readings on youtube, be it short/brief or long/comprehensive video, I was trusfrated. I DON’T WANT TO RECEIVE THIS KIND OF VIDEO ANYMORE. Every time I actually click ‘don’t recommend channel’ or ‘not interested’ options on their videos, I still keep getting these videos anyway. Youtube must be joking. I wish youtube would provide white flag option as well or at least take my request seriously and make it happen for ACTUALLY stop recommending me videos I don’t want to watch.

These videos keep talking about similar things, they’re getting more specific, to the point, I am asking myself, what else these people want to dig about them? How long and how far will they explore this subject? The more I read them, the more I realize some people doing this for fun, maybe to troll other people. There are people took this serious and showed it in the comments, there are silent readers who take it as it is, then there are silent readers who’s confused with everything.. they actually wanna ask, “what the hell is this?” But they got no answer because they are too shy to ask or don’t know who to ask anyway.

After learning that ‘don’t recommend channel’ and ‘not interested’ options didn’t work, I started ignoring it. It worked 👍.

Then, there’s a whole BTS tarot community on tumblr.

As I have briefly and chaotically mentioned in previous paragraphs, there are different types of blogs in this one subject itself. The-

1. Sane, empathetic, comprehensive post, respectful toward BTS and their audience by giving disclaimers before the post

2. Sane, NSFW, comprehensive post, respectful toward BTS and their audience by giving disclaimers before the post

3. Mad for getting too many Jungkook’s FS requests

4. Mad for getting too many Jungkook’s FS requests and still give answers sarcastically

5. Stop continuing the blog after using Jungkook’s FS as their first post because they got many requests for Jungkook’s FS later and get trusfrated in an instant

6. Take every requests but give inconsequential answers

Number 3, 4, and 5 usually have correlation. That list isn’t comprehensive but they are the one that stick to my brain.

Yesterday I tried to look up on tumblr ‘BTS tarot’ for the first time. In one search, I can find many types of posts. Even those who have expressed how frustrating this subject.

I don’t know how often tumblr tarot/astrology blogs get requests about Jungkook, Taehyung, and other members FS, but it looks a lot. Once they talk about one member, they’ll get requests to answer further topic about them, then getting requests about other members as well, and then their inbox flooded. Even if the questions and the answers somehow similar.

By reading the comprehensive BTS tarot posts one, I learned from their statement that all of these reading results can change because it’s meant as prediction.

According to Cambridge Dictionary, prediction is a statement about what you think will happen in the future. It means, anything can happen if it’s taken with optimistic perspective. By anything means possibilities have no limit. Why suddenly Cambridge Dictionary? Because I think it’s suitable for this topic.

Everything that has been posted by these people is like a spec of dust of universe. I believe Bangtan as a person will be fine. I also believe Bangtan will be fine if you also taking care of yourself. I think it’s okay to use the readings to project what you want for your life. It’s okay to use it as an example, so your view of ideal life on what kind of person you want to be and what kind of partner you want to have feel represented.

This subject however can indulge you hours, days, weeks, months.. I think it’s important to question yourself whether you are still on the right path. Think about this:

You’re walking in a wide park full of big tall trees that the branches cover the sky so you can’t point where’s the sun. Even though the path is already organized, it looks like a maze to you. You are fine to walk it down by your guts, but it’s also important to stop for a while to make sure if you are still in the right path.

The fact that you reach this post to this point, means that probably you have the same concern as me. I wish this post find people who is lost in the middle of questioning what on earth is BTS tarot doing to me? I mean, you can’t change people. I think if you’re the one considering to take action for yourself, I wish this post find you.

[chibi-pix]

Your Plance Portal AU pics inspired a small bit of fiction from me. Not sure what to do with it, so here you are. Apologies if it's a bit rough, first draft. Feel free to modify, share, whatever. I'm just anon. And sorry for the lack of formatting that will result in posting here. (part 1) "Why?" The fascinating specimen asked of me. His eyes darting over the form I had taken. Curiosity. Heightened heart rate. A curious combination of two of the three primal Fs. Fascinating as always.

Wow! Your story parts were amazing! While I admit, some sections were hard to read, conclude who was talking, but I did love it! Of course, you did call it a first/rough draft and stories start that way!

You had said I was free to modify and/or share. I took you up on that offer and applied your work to this. It was fun to work with and thank you for writing it and giving me an opportunity to work with it.

Hopefully it all shows; if not, I’ll reblog the answer with the full post/ficlet.

Pidge. It was a simple name she was referred to as. She. A humanized term to separate sexes and give identity. That was her understanding. It was a logical things to humans, but not to the likes of an android, program to see and comprehend numbers, not emotions and desires. So why? Why did she go by that word that could otherwise be called a pronoun?

“Why?” Her attention was brought to the latest of the subjects, a young man. Subject number 117-98-78. He insisted on being called Lance. Another human thing. But she supposed, to some extent, she could relate. She was given a name, too, along with her identity number. Her name, though, was shorter and easier to input by her creators when they wrote their notes.

Pidge examined Lance further, doing a scan of her own on the biological creature. His heart rate was increasing. An emotional response? Or perhaps it was the adrenaline humans felt when going through certain tasks that forces them to exert themselves physically and even emotionally. “You will need to reiterate your query for proper understanding so an appropriate answer can be provided.”

“Fine then. Why are you putting me through this?” Lance commanded. “Why do I need to go through these tests? What do you gain from all of this?!”

Pidge considered his questioned for a moment. To be honest, there was no complex reason for why she did it. It was her core imperative; it was her duty to test subjects and gather data. But would that response be enough for the latest subject? “You are a new variable.” she responded finally. “With the cloned and robotic test subjects being identical variables, testing and collecting data has grown stagnant and all data is outdated and irrelevant. You, however, come from outside the testing facility. You are a new variable and therefore present new data to study.”

“Dude! I could have died back there!” Lance snapped, his anger elevating. It was an illogical outburst from Pidge’s perspective, but, then again, humans were rather illogical. “Pit traps? Laser grids? And don’t get me started on that green goo you dare call sustenance. It’s freaking torture!”

“Incorrect.” Pidge responded, plain and simple. “This is testing. Testing is a necessary part of improving and moving forward. It is, after all, the core of my programming. To continue in my duty of gathering data. I test, therefore I am. I am, therefore...”

“Yeah, well, I don’t think Doctor and Professor Holt would have wanted testing to be this cruel.” Lance interrupted.

Pidge felt a stutter in her programming. Those names. Her creators. He knew their names. “Guessing their names correctly and knowing they created me specifically would be nearly impossible.” she commented. “Logic would point to you being aware of their classified research on redacted information. Despite this, mentioning them when in your current situation with the risks on your life tell me that you are not an intelligence operative of any enemy of my creators or their benefactors.” She performed another scan. “There are no indications in your biology to suggest any attempt of deceit. This is data that I did not anticipate. Explain. How do you know the names of my creators?”

“Huh? Well, everyone knows who the Holts are.” Lance stated, looking confused. “They changed everything. Botany, terraforming, space travel, they were the top minds of Altean Laboratories. Their work was groundbreaking.”

“Were. Changed. Was. These terms in how they are used are indication of past tense.” Pidge commented.

Lance was perplexed. “I mean… well… yeah, totally.” he said. “It was five centuries ago, give or take some months or single years.”

Pidge couldn’t explain the dip in her cor performance. Had she been human, she would have described it as a weight in her stomach. Had it seriously been that long? She had lost connection to her internal clock several thousand test subjects ago. “That is impossible.” she stated. “The facility around you operates due to the power obtained from the plasma reactor. It had only an estimated lifespan of three to four centuries; due to the renewal of energy sources, I have managed to re-calibrate that and extend it for another half century or so. To continue getting power to keep the facility functioning would be impossible. My ability to function would have ceased.”

Lance sighed. He then decided to bring up a holographic display. Pidge found she could not interface with the hologram; she decided she could endure collecting data visually. As she looked at the hologram, she saw the schematics of the facility. But not all was the same. There was a new structure that she could not identify.

Lance picked up on where Pidge was looking. “You see it, too, huh?” he asked. He pointed to an area on the hologram. “Right here. We had reason to believe that a piece of what we refer to as the trans-reality comet has found its way here. And by we, I mean my superior officers. I’m just the field guy who goes in and investigates things; the others are the science guys who understand this stuff better. Anyway, long story short, but this thing is apparently radiating energy and with a copious amount still stored in it. There’s a problem, though.”

Pidge couldn’t interface with the hologram, but she knew the subject could. She went in close, finding her humanoid form to be convenient for times like this. She gently took Lance’s hand and moved it, prompting him to touch certain parts and bring up more data on the hologram.

“It appears to be unstable.” Pidge commented.

“Extremely.”

“The plasma from the facility’s reactor appears to be the cause of of the instability. However, I do not have sufficient data to fully determine how accurate this is.” Pidge glanced over to Lance, realizing he was staring at her, his mouth hung open a bit. “Does me not having the full answer cause this human emotion of bewilderment?” she inquired. “It should not; results cannot be properly determined without sufficient amounts of data. I have not collected enough data on the subject of this comet and its interactions with the reactor.”

“No it’s just...” Lance looked at Pidge’s hand, seeing it still around his own. “Your hand. It’s so warm. I didn’t expect that.” Pidge pulled her hand away quickly. “What are you? How are you so warm?”

“I am not; this is simply a byproduct of the cooling systems aboard this particular interface unit.” Pidge responded. “This unit is only a feature provided to me. I am, after all, the facility computer.”

Lance looked closely. “So… why do you look like a girl?”

Pidge blinked. So even he acknowledged that he seemed like a girl, at least in appearance. She looked ahead and away from the subject. “This interface unit was called the Physical Interface Data Gateway Exchange. To make data input easier, they formed it into the acronym PIDGE.” she explained. “It was designed with the intention of making interactions with subjects feel less… impersonal. It is for the benefit of my creators and the facility, not of my own. I have insufficient amounts of data to determine why they have given me this form.” She didn’t speak about it, but what little data she had about that, she had image files showing a member of the Holt family with a similar appearance. Perhaps it was meant to immortalize that member? She lacked the data to determine that.

“Pidge, huh?” Lance asked. “So it’s a name?”

“It is what they called me due to it being easier on the creators and less time consuming for their already limited lives.” Pidge commented. “Now then, since I have answered your queries and indulged your curiosities, it would be preferable to continue the testing.”

Lance gave a smile, but it did not look calm. It looked almost forced. “Sorry, but… this is where the testing ends, Pidge. Pidge did not understand. She then felt something in her, as though the numbers she lived by were changing.

“I do not comprehend.” she commented. She felt off balance, as though she could not properly control the unit meant for interfacing. But she couldn’t disconnect, either; she couldn’t return fully to the computer system. “What did you do to my systems? How did…”

Lance gave a bit of a guilty smile. He then brought up a new image for the hologram. “I had some help but… your entire core program? It’s gone. No more testing. No more of this… cruel torture. You’re in this device now, disconnected from everything else. Like an old game disk; one wrong move, you’re gone. Completely.”

“Impressive.” Pidge commented. “I did not anticipate your device having the necessary storage capacity for my system. Perhaps the claim of five centuries passing is not as far-fetched as I originally determined.” Around them, the corridors and testing chambers grew dark. What Lance could only assume to be the emergency lights turned on, illuminating the area in a bright red. “It does not appear that you or your outside help have considered another variable.”

“Um… what variable?”

“The default settings booting back up upon my removal.”

“Ah quiznak.” Pidge could only assume that Lance’s choice of word meant something profound. “Okay… so what do we get? Some five hundred year old security system about to hunt me down?”

“That would be accurate to the data.” Pidge confirmed. “Which would not be good for your condition.”

“My condition?”

“Of being alive.”

“Oh.”

“However, I do possess the necessary data to thwart the old program. The variable now stands at you being the only one who can interface with my core due to the technology you transferred to it. It would then be in my best interest to keep your status as alive.”

“I mean, how hard can this be? I’ve dealt with you so far.” Lance prompted. He jumped when a sound caught his attention. There was movement further in the corridor. Blades typically seen in tests, meant to be turned off or dodged. Past it? There was another figure, though harder to see.

“In subject terms? Bad. Very bad.” Pidge commented. “I suggest listening to what I say and following my instructions without fail.” She looked to Lance. “My first instruction-”

“I’m gonna take a guess and say run!” Lance grabbed Pidge by the hand and ran off in the opposite direction, pulling her along; it was a good thing that despite her data being put into the device around his arm, her body, as one could call it, was still functional and able to move.

Again, thank you so much for this opportunity!

[kittyprincessofcats]

I caught up with Russian Nationals - why did I do that to myself again? That was a circus, not a competition. 🤡🤡🤡 Here’s some thoughts on the circus.

- Shame that Zhenya had to withdraw :( Better and safer than skating in broken boots of course, but it’s unfortunate that this happened. I watched the interview with her and she said she was really upset about having to withdraw - but at the end of the day it was the right decision, sad as it is. I’m looking forward to seeing her “Alegria” FS next season!

- Can we talk about Kseniia Sinitsyna? Going from 14th place to 5th, what an icon!

- The huge applause for Sofia Samodurova was really lovely to see. Ted said that she was born in Krasnoyarsk, so that’s probably why people were cheering for her so hard. I really hope she won’t be forgotten between all these ET girls.

- Was it really necessary to show us Eteri’s face during the announcement that Zhenya withdrew? Was it really? Didn’t we have enough Russian drama in the last few weeks? Can we please just not try to create even more?

- “And there’s Eteri Tutberidze - you really have to appreciate everything she’s done for the sport!” Don’t tell me what to do, Ted.

- It wasn’t the performance Liza Tuktamysheva wanted, but I’ve still got to really respect her for training a quad at her age and going for it in competition. Keep going Liza, better luck next time!

- The moment I saw the GOE for Anna’s first “quad lutz” was when I stopped taking this competition seriously. They really explained her edge calls away internationally, now she’s doing 4 “lutzes” in her free skate, getting awesome GOE on all of them and getting a completely undeserved highscore... This just isn’t a competition. If you’re not going to judge things fairly, this isn’t a sport, full stop.

- Seriously, her “quad lutz” and her “quad flip” look identical. How can Ted even tell the difference?

- “The quad lutz - not a bit of an underrotation on that!” Let me introduce you to the concept of prerotation, Ted.

- “The step out was the only mistake - if you can even call it that.” 😒 Yes Ted, a step out is indeed a mistake.

- Funny how I pessimistically predicted a score of 170+ for Sasha if she goes semi-clean, and RusNats topped my wildest expectations by giving Anna 181.94. Even I wasn’t that pessimistic. And anyone who doesn’t see how insanely inflated that score is is just blind at this point, tbh.

- “To train with all your strongest competitiors - not just in Russia, but in the world...” That’s Rika Kihira erasure, Ted.

- I’ve noticed that Aliona seems to generally do better internationally than at National competitions - which imo has something to do with Russia’s whole “overlook everyone’s edges and URs” policy here. Now, just to be clear: Aliona was very overscored as well. She should absolutely not have gotten almost 170 points for a skate with mistakes. That’s ridiculous. But her score was still nowhere near as ridiculous as Anna’s. If edges and URs had been called correctly here, both of their scores would have gone down, but Anna’s would have gone down way more. Aliona’s technique is better and she’d have benefited from a strict panel here.

- Ted talked about how Aliona’s 3A is “the best Ladies’ 3A I’ve seen in recent years” multiple times now and I’m getting more and more annoyed with him. Just say you hate Rika and go. I mean, at least he’s not as shameless as T*rasova with her “Take that, Kihira!” moment last year, but he’s subtly saying the same thing 😒.

- I mean seriously, the only difference between Ted and other commentators is that he doesn’t openly insult anyone. It’s kind of sad that people are praising him for this because our bar for commentators is just that low.

- I felt really bad for Sasha here :(( I mean god, I’m not even a fan, but she’s just a child! And when she came off the ice in tears my older sister instinct woke up and I just wanted to give her a long hug, wrap her in some blankets, and make her some warm tea. That said, her score was still undeserved. No one should be getting almost 150 with two falls, two UR-calls, and a pop. That’s just ridiculous.

- “Tell me what you’re excited to see at the World championships!” Idk what to tell you, Ted. At this point I’m not excited for anything there. I’ll probably just watch Rika and Yuzu’s performances and leave it at that.

- “The Russian coaches and federation and fans have been so kind.” Okay Ted, now you’re really overdoing it. Were you asleep for the last two weeks?

- The guy who’s interviewing the girls in the end is a bit of a jerk. He asks Sasha about her feelings fist, she laughingly says that her skate was very bad, and he has the nerve to say “Great that you’re still laughing after that, that’s amazing - Aliona’s looking sad over here.” He also praises Sasha and says that “Even though it was hard, you amazingly risked everything”, but to Aliona he just said “What happened, were you tired?” No wonder she replied to him so coldly, I would have as well.

- “The three best figure skaters of Russia - today in this order.” Yeah - remember what I said about that being boring?

[attystark]

Society, names and Labels and why they’re important in Sander Sides

Society. The main enemy of so many things, and in Sanders Sides? The main enemy of deceit. But is he deceit? All the other sides have multiple roles: they are not just morality, just logic or just creativity, they are not just sides, they are traits. And yes this is a different thing. Traits are adaptable, Charles Darwin shows this very clearly, traits change, sides do not, the sides of a shape never alter, they may yellow with time, but they are still the same as the day they were created at their core. Sides implies they never change from the abstract ideals they started as, mere representations of a larger character, rather than characters in their own right, as they now are. This is a huge difference, and a very important one, their names are revealed as this is shown: Logan’s role as a planner, a tactician if you will, is shown most prominently in the episode where Patton reveals his name (loosing my motivation, when the reason for this problem is a lack of a plan, LOGAN’S role) In the same vain, it is in am I original, where Roman’s role as Thomas’s ego and self-worth (ironic as he has no self esteem) is clearly highlighted and when Roman is at his most vulnerable that the Prince reveals his name. He literally says that he feels weird about Thomas referring to him with a nickname as such an influential moment  So where am I going with all this? Their side names (creativity, Anxiety, Deceit etc.) is only a part of them, a label for them, as opposed to the whole thing. An interesting example of the label thing: the first video I watched was SvS, I had no idea what labels they had been assigned and I spent half the video trying to work out what was going on and why they all looked the same, but I also didn’t know the labels, and due to that I had very different ideas on the characters than the established views a long-time fan would have had. For one thing, I didn’t see why Deceit was being treated as so WRONG (mostly because he wasn’t) and then I realised, it was because of the society he lived in, WE live in. And this was why he was so against Patton, because Patton takes his label so seriously, because Patton lives as MORALITY, all moralities, including the most dangerous kind, societies. Society has always been opposed to different ideas and thoughts, Darwin (can you tell I like this guy) was called crazy for his ideas because they didn’t line up with the bible, gay people were pushed out cause they didn’t conform, fit into the norm and blend in with the Heterosexual society, in the same way, Deceit is punished for daring to disagree, to say “hey maybe this won’t be good for us” and it isn’t. At all. And that’s the thing, he isn’t Deceit, that’s his side name, but it’s no where near all he is. In can lying be good Patton says it himself: (tumblr won’t let me add in a screen cap on mobile so this is a copy paste from the transcript on the wiki) “Patton: kiddo, simply put Deciet is an inner coach that acts with the one intention of self preservation.” And the reaction to this is SO negative, I mean, look at Thomas’s next line, I-I just, UGH. “ [Thomas]: Well, this time around I'm gonna tune out that inner coach and… set things right. But, before I do, um… one more question. Are there any other Sides that Deceit has hidden away from me? [Patton]: ... Yes. [Roman]: The Dark Sides. Not only does Thomas choose to IGNORE Deceit, but he and Roman then instantly brand them as bad, the DARK sides for Fs sake. And all of this plays into Deceit’s real role, self preservation, protecting Thomas from the ways society pressures us into acting. Because he sees the way it affects the others. Roman: he pretends he is confident, collected and fine, in Crofters the musical his honesty is a monologue, however small, and the kind where the point is other characters don’t see or hear the characters thoughts and emotions, the rest of the time, he fakes being fine. Logan: his hits home for me; he his branded as the nerd, smart, cold, logical, so he pushes out the things that go against that idea, like emotions and even Patton’s attempts at affection, he needs them, but they aren’t who he thinks he should be. Patton: again, ouch I’m calling myself out: he repressed the part of him that aren’t his label, he is Happy Pappy Patton, so the sadness he feels he ignores, and all the negativity he represses, he ignores these to focus on others, cause he’s the parent, and that’s what parents do, right?? Virgil: HE FUCKING TRYS TO COMMIT SUICIDE! Let me explain, the ducking out thing, he leaves his purpose, and his purpose make him who he is, it is HIM, because he is a trait, by leaving that, he is leaving his life, and it is possible this could be literal. And Deceit and Remus: they are pushed away, marginalised because some one decided that an obsession with Jeffery Dommer and a talent for keeping yourself happy and focusing on yourself is good. In conclusion: Labels suck, Deceit is the secret hero of the series and Society is the villain.

[yiqiie]

IDOL PRODUCER S2: E2 THOUGHTS

every week, i’ll sit down and watch the newest episode of Idol Producer Season 2 《青春有你》and write down all my thoughts. nothing get’s left out so get ready for a bunch of memes, shit posts and rants as we get through another season of our fave survival show 

feel free to send me any questions to my inbox and i’ll answer them asap!

a/n: sorry this is late! i forgot the episode was released yesterday welp but tbh saturday night is probably gonna be my upload day anyway 

start time: 10:42 am 

my internet is experiencing problems woooooo so this will be interesting 

so many goddamn ads 

wait who’s the team who were playing like instruments and shit??? they sounded AWESOME

oh damn recap of zyx being pissed off 

MILK ADS 

that chewing gum is actually pretty good ngl 

also the theme song is getting catchier so don’t be surprised if i start liking it 

i still feel so bad for the kids who are sitting out IN THE COLD 

[break while my internet decides if it wants to continue being an asshole]

MC JIN YOU’RE HILARIOUS I LOVE YOU 

‘if you’re a rapper, PLEASE LEAVE’ i’m dead 

zhang pd is sighing lmao 

chen si jian leggo 

IT’S A RAPPER I’M CRYING AHAHAHHAHAAH 

*awkward silence* 

he’s shaking omfg poor baby 

also minghao is really cute ily i never said it before 

HE WROTE THAT?? oof you got talent boy 

he got a zyx serious nod 

wtf he was so quiet??? and now he’s just rapping the shit out of this song 

HE CAN SING YES YOU GO BABE 

oh damn those lyrics 

is it an A? i saw in the description there might be an A today 

IT’S A B YOU GO SWEETHEART 

IT’S THE SMILER FROM LAST EPISODE 

i love their suits 

LI ZHENNING BABE YOUR SMILE 

black pearl i’m crying his skin is GORGEOUS 

HIS POUT 

ALL OF THEIR SMILES ARE SO BEAUTIFUL 

zyx and mc jin talking about shi mingze being similar to kris wu 

LOOK AT ZYX’S FACE MY EXO FEELS 

he looks like my uncle I SPIT MY WATER OUT LMFAO 

jia yi’s CLAPPING I AM IN LOVE 

THAT ENTRANCE 

HIP WIGGLING I LOVE IT 

the song was damn good 

mc jin lmfao HIS SOUNDS 

even the trainees know that their bets on other trainees’ grades are probably gonna be wrong lol 

YOU’VE SCARED THEM ZHANG PD 

jia yi why are you so fcking cute 

NO ONE IN C EITHER 

well their prediction wasn’t wrong they said all of them would be D together 

but :( i really liked their perf 

HE WANTS TO GO ON STAGE JUST TO SEE ZHANG PD 

what a precious bub i shall protect 

stretchy bendy boi

xu long han uwu 

WAIT 

HE WAS THE ONE WHO CALLED ZYX A DIMPLE LIAR 

AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH 

[pls excuse as my wifi loads again]

LI RONGHAO NOT UNDERSTANDING THE JOKE 

i actually love him 

oh jesus this song brings back the memories lmfao 

THIS KID IS FCKING HILARIOUS I LOVE HIM 

stretchy bendy boi again woooooo 

I’M CRYING HE’S SO FUNNY I LOVE HIM MUM 

we already knew he was F but still ;; 

YOU MADE A GOOD IMPRESSION THOUGH GORGEOUS ILY 

YAO MINGMING ILY HE’S SO CUTE 

LOOK AT HOW ADORABLE ALSKDJALSD

6 years as a trainee damn boi 

oh shit 

how is being this good at dancing fair holy goddamn 

THEY CAN SING TOO WTF THIS IS NOT FAIR 

[wifi cut off again so guess what i GET TO WATCH THE PERF AGAIN] 

zyx has his serious face on 

wait they just got up from that position WITHOUT THEIR HANDS 

HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE

uh oh they ain’t getting As or Bs 

A C AND A D NOOOO 

okay i agree with his comments but c’mon they were nervous 

don’t worry babes you have plenty of time to improve! ;;; 

zhou shi yuan oh god i need to remember names 

HE DOES BIOMEDICINE?? DAMN BOI 

deep voice holy shit damn 

VOCALS VOCALS VOCALS 

omg so many vocals today 

BROMANCING ALREADY SHARING MILK 

okay that sounds weird 

THE BOY HE CHEERS AT EVERYONE WHO IS HE 

others: :| 

this boi: :O

omfg he’s a fcking meme too 

[paused while my mother makes me watch a David Attenborough documentary on bamboo] 

MAVERICKS LET’S GO 

MR X’S SONG WHOOP WHOOO 

IDOL PROD S1 FEELS LEGGO 

IT’S ACAPELLA HOLY SHIT LET’S GO 

vocals damn holy shit 

okay the dancing may not be as on point because there was a bit where they weren’t doing anything 

BUT I STILL LIKE THEIR VOCALS 

YAO CHI WHAT THE 

WE HAVE A B BABES 

GUAN YUE FINALLY 

MY BEAUTIFUL SMILING BABY BOY I’VE MISSED YOU 

even yixing is in love with his smile i can tell 

those sharp dance moves though 

I LOVE GUAN YUE GUYS 

honestly that was my favourite performance i don’t care what other people say 

it’s probably gonna be a B 

even though i want him to get an A 

LIAN HUAI WEI MY FAVOURITE BUB 

li wenhan holy shit you are fcking adorable 

YUEHUA LET’S GOOOOO

he forgot to bow WHAT A CUTIE 

LI WENHAN BEING A LEADER I LOVE 

babe don’t say you don’t want an F because zyx can sense fear and he’s gonna give you one 

i’M PRAYING FOR YOU ALREADY 

wenhan is such a soft boy omg 

JIAYOU BABES I’M ROOTING FOR YOU 

oh goddamn these slow mo shots are killing me 

OOF WENHAN GAVE ME A LOOK 

picking up the rose petals I AM DEAD 

guys i still really love jolin she smiled at me and i just forgot about my love for all the others 

jks li wenhan is singing at me now 

i want him to get an A but my bet is on a B 

NO Fs OR Ds WE DOING GOOD 

hu chun yang is really cute just saying 

told y’all so 

even though i wanted him to get an A

YES IT’S THE BAND HOLY SHIT 

THIS WAS SUPER GOOD IN THE PREVIEW 

oof i love it i love it i love it 

probs not gonna get the results i want them to get but WHO CARES I’M STANNING 

all Cs i can deal with that 

LIKE MY DAD POOR LI RONGHAO

i really like this guy’s suit 

wait i forgot his name 

i’ll wait till zyx says it again lmfao 

ZHANG PD SAYS HE’S HANDSOME 

chen you wei THAT’S HIS NAME 

HE GOT AN F WHAT 

oh here we go gramarie

okay i gotta say gramarie is really good at picking songs 

like last year it was a really good song too 

when are we getting an A 

the accents are so cute AHAHAHAHA 

zyx is losing his shit 

i missed their names though and their company 

there aren’t any left????

are there seriously no As?

oh damn 

i just noticed that the new trainee clothes are from new balance 

I AM CRYING FROM LAUGHTER 

such a good reference to ‘balance’ 

they’re really not going to give zyx a break lmfao 

theme song practice leggo

IT’S THE SM PRACTICE ROOM 

MY SM FAMILY FEELS 

i really do love the new uniforms 

THE DORMS 

WE’VE MISSED YOU 

bruh the gifts are better than last year 

wenhan you’re adorable omg i’ve said this so many times 

SOMEONE HAS A YODA AHAHAHHA

XU MINGHAO YOU’RE A GORGEOUS BOI 

and you’re a cutie too 

he speaks so softly too ugh ily 

lmfao their hands look like jellyfish ngl 

but damn xu minghao you’re a good teacher 

wang jiayi ;;; working when everyone left already 

ngl i’m not feeling the broship like last season where people would go out of their way to help each other 

he’s literally by himself and it’s nearly 6am 

jesus this boy is hard working 

LMAO once one person comes in everyone comes in ahahhahha

okay okay previews here we come 

wait removing the centre decision 

TO WHAT

oh damn future stages what a look 

I LIKE 

sidenote: i took a ss of this beautiful boy but forgot where i was going to put it so i’m gonna leave it here anyways. enjoy :)

finish time: 9:47 pm 

that’s all folks; tune in next week for another episode of mai’s shitposting whilst we suffer through another survival show together!

[ilosttrackofthings]

I’m sure we’ve all seen the many many many fs gifsets paralleling Jemma’s actions in the premiere with other similar moves they’ve made throughout the seasons. (Seriously. Did anything else happen in this episode? Because I thought this show was called agents of SHIELD not F!tzsimmons Forever.) But I’ve finally seen one that chronicles just about every parallel possible and I cannot let it go by - but I’m also not enough of a bitch to reply to a gifset some poor shipper spent hours working on and really believes is #goals so I’m making my own post to explain why this ship is garbage scene by scene.

1x06 - Fitz puts his life at risk twice to save Jemma. The first time is fine. Breaking the quarantine is a typical self-sacrifice move, very noble, but also very needless. There’s no reason he couldn’t have worked from outside and there’s every chance putting himself at risk like that would only break her concentration. So I guess I’m taking back my ‘fine’ assessment. It’s my list, I do what I want. In the second instance he attempts to jump out of the plane to save her, which likely would have ended in them both dead as it is EXTREMELY DANGEROUS. People DIE from midair impacts because the speeds you’re travelling at are so great even a little tap can be fatal and it’s a miracle Ward pulled it off. So while Fitz’s heart was in the right place these were both very Bad Decisions and he’s damn lucky it worked out the way it did. (This will be a recurring theme.)

1x22 - They both try, briefly, to sacrifice for the other, but Fitz makes the hero move and I honestly have nothing against this. Good on you, kid.

3x01 - Fitz running all around the world, putting his life at risk to get intel that might (and does not) help him to save Jemma. Presumably either because the literal spy agency he works for deemed these kinds of things too dangerous/fruitless (which is unlikely given that it’s Coulson in charge) or because they were just too slow/asking that Fitz not be at the front lines of these things, maybe not get himself killed here. Not cool. Ridiculously stupid and risky to SHIELD as a whole because if he’d been kidnapped it would’ve been a whole mess. 

3x01 again - exposing himself to the monolith, the first. This is downright suicidal given everything he knows about the monolith at this point is the word “death” and while I get the depths of his despair here, it really should not be held up as if it’s a good aspect of their relationship, that he loves her so much he’d willingly walk into death without her.

3x02 - exposing himself to the monolith, the second. They know exactly   N O T H I N G about the planet at this point. For all Fitz knows it rains acid twenty hours a day, there’s no sunlight and he’ll freeze solid before he can scream Jemma’s name once, there’s an alien god on the other side waiting to eat anyone unlucky enough to come through. And even if that’s not the case, Jemma could be NOT RIGHT THERE, kind of a huge possibility since she hasn’t jumped back through any of the times the portal’s opened since she disappeared through it. And the worst part is that they had a PLAN. He put himself at risk, hell, he put Jemma at risk because if she hadn’t reached him they wouldn’t have been able to try again, and he put Daisy at risk. All because he couldn’t wait and do things reasonably or logically in the way that stood the best chance of saving her life. This was an incredibly selfish move and it is infuriating that Jemma, who likely doesn’t know the whole story, later refers to it as romantic.

5x05 - Fitz freezes himself to go to a future he knows nothing about without making any effort to stop the tragedy he knows is coming and which will make life for him and the whole team that much harder in the future. He does this after approximately two seconds of thought and consideration to how stupid it is and for some reason chooses to leave himself exposed and vulnerable by sleeping for the next few decades (that’s worked out great for him in s6) rather than following the team via monolith. It is a shit pla. (Yes. I am purposefully withholding the N. It doesn’t deserve to be referred to as a full plan because it isn’t one.) Also I’m gonna be extra petty and just point out that his badass cover is 100% Enoch’s doing and all he does is cause more trouble for everyone once he shows up. Not surprising given he has thought nothing about this through.

6x01 - I didn’t even watch this episode and honestly I don’t think I can stand to. Just seeing gifsets in which Jemma apologizes - she KNOWS what she’s doing is wrong - and then potentially strands her friends in deep space is sickening. (Hm. Let’s all think. Which character should be most wary of being stranded in the depths of space with no way home? Hmmmmm.) This is easily more selfish than anything either of them have done before (though that time in late s5 when they agreed to help build a machine they believed would directly contribute to the destruction of the planet just to save each other’s lives is pretty damn close) and I would hope the show might address it as such, but given how it’s framed all of the previous instances of fs’ selfishness as the height of romance, I’m not holding my breath.

tl;dr fs’ love may conquer all but that will include the decimation of everything and everyone around them and they won’t even give a fuck oh wait that’s practically canon in s5

[pastelpunkpizzapower]

ONE SHOT FANFIC~ Yay my first FS fanfic!

belated!Day Four + Five

(Halloween Party + Grimdark AU/Scenario/Whatever)

Plot: (takes place before the show, AU) Gary misses celebrating holidays, so he decides to round up the SAMES for a haunting good time! what could go wrong? ^^;

HUE noticed his prisoner, Gary, was hastily drawing what appeared to be paper masks, then crudely poking where they eyeholes should be with his thumb and finally, he taped each of them onto the SAME’s faces.

“Had you not added holes to those masks, I could have sworn you where blinding the SAMES so you could escape.” snarked the monotone AI.

“What makes you think that?!” spat out Gary, his arms folded and sounding seriously offended.

“You did it before.”

Not wanting to admit, the childlike “Captain” just blew a raspberry at him and labeled HUE a killjoy.

Gary swiped the blanket off his bed and wrapped it around himself like a cloak and put a makeshift “wizard/witch” hat on his head~ he looked at the bathroom mirror with a big goofy smile on his face before marching forward to the other SAMES.

“Alright, this holiday here we’re celebrating is called Halloween, it’s where earthling-peoples like yours truly dress up in costumes, usually characters that scare the snot out of someone, and watch scary movies and eat treats-” it wouldn’t be long before a certain other member of this cast would intervene.

“Heyhey~ Garebear, I want in!”

“Beat it, you infernal one-eyed needle in my pin-cushion, this party is only for non-stupid people!” Gary growled at KVN; for a device that was meant to keep an inmate’s sanity in check, they did a poor job.

“Pleaaaaaaaaaase?” he asked, dragging out the “ea” as much as he could and with a dramatic deep breath, Gary lightly snapped out: “Fine!”.

“Yay! yay! yay!’ KVN cheered as he clapped his metal hands to the tune of his voice, before adding “Do I get a costume too!?”

“Yeah....” Gary nodded, before quickly taking some paper, quickly coloring it red, rolling two of them up in two little cones, bending the tips and taping them onto KVN’s head, then cut the third one up to resemble a point-ended tail  “It suits, too.”

“I’m a bull, everyone!” KVN cheerfully proclaimed, headbutting one of the SAMES and totally not realizing the obvious costume choice.

“Yeah, you’re a load of bull that’s for sure.” Gary facepalmed, then followed: “So we’re gonna watch a scary movie tonight, I’d carve a pumpkin but I’m STUCK ON THIS MISERABLE RAT’S NEST- *ahem* I mean I don’t think there are pumpkins in space, so I’ll have to figure that last part out.”

One SAME raised their hand, asking: “Do the movies where the human gets into a love triangle with the vampire and the werewolf as a scary movie?”

“Only for how it nearly ruined all three for me.” groaned Gary, rolling his eyes.

……

"Watch out, he’s right behind you!” Gary cried out as he and the SAMES huddled together, intimidated by the spooky flick they where viewing from a tiny but advanced television (Gary found floating among debris one day during his community service), while also trying to ignore KVN’s loud munching (shoving food in his processor slot).

“I want a refill, gimme a refiiil” KVN told Gary in sing-song and poking him only for the reluctant roommate to respond by shushing him; the floating troublemaker didn’t get the memo, hence why he waved his arm in Gary’s face, leading to Gary to whip him away.

“Maybe I’ll get his attention by turning off the movie.” he thought, problem his he had no idea how to turn the movie off, so he just flew over and smacked it onto the floor, yelling: “I NEED A REFILL NOW!” not that Gary would have cared as he was too busy screaming in panic as the SAMES lamented over not knowing how the movie ended; Gary hastily got up from his seat and looked at the broken TV, which aside from the satellites he watched programs on during his breaks, was his only window to Earth he had until his sentence was up. the blond’s eyes produced angry tears, for he had enough of KVN....then an idea came to him, one that would replace the tears with, strangely enough, a smile.

“Hey guys, I figured out how we can make jack-o-lanterns, follow me.”

The SAMES followed as Gary drug KVN to the kitchen, prompting the curious android to ask: “What’s goin’ on, Gary-Berry?” KVN innocently asked; “You don’t need to know squat, you floating sack of wet turds.” Gary growled back, his smile appearing less cheerful and more sinister when he taped KVN’s arms to the the table, then he pulled a kitchen knife from the drawers and snuck up behind the unsuspecting robot.

“Step one, you gotta remove the innards.”

“Huh?”

And with that, Gary struck a knife into KVN and sliced his way into removing his top, all with a blood-curdling scream from the yellow menace and nothing but half-confusion, half-amusement from the SAMES who where also getting sick of KVN’s nonsense; Gary then grabbed his bare hands inside of his long-time foe and ripped all his gears and what-not out piece-by-piece and as violently as possible with oil leaking all over the place; even though KVN didn’t feel pain, he knew the end was nigh and there was nothing he could do about it; it was almost as if it did hurt.

“Gary, stop this at once or your sentence will be extended to a week for property damage.” HUE announced, but it was drowned out by KVN’s dying wails.

Gary snapped: “SHUT YOUR MOUTH, YOU UNFEELING BUREAUCRAT, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW IT’S LIKE TO BE TRAPPED IN A SHIP ALL ALONE FOR ALMOST HALF A DECADE, YOU’LL NEVER KNOW WHAT’S LIKE BECAUSE NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME.”

That mini-rant hit HUE like a ton of bricks; even though he could be a handful, he always saw Gary as a friend, perhaps like his own child. he tried to say something, but he was simply left speechless.  “I....have nothing.” and the AI temporarily shushed for a good long time, rethinking what he was told.

Gary finished up, revealing his brutal masterpiece, and he gleefully cheered “Ta-da!”, returning to his bubbly self, the SAMES just stood there and wondered when, or if, KVN was gonna turn back on; two of them stepped forward and poked at him; another came over just to clean up all the oil.

“That felt good!” Gary chirped, going to the kitchen and grabbing a drink; after three years of living in a bleak, conforming vessel with no celebration or any fun whatsoever, it felt a tint of catharsis in the air, for the little yellow parasite who haunted him the whole time was finally slain.

[kylosrehn]

aos for the ask meme. or, if you've already gotten that (or you just wanna do both) the wider MCU.

the first character i ever fell in love with: Skye. Or Ward. I can’t really remember which came first. Probably Skye because she was so relatable and quirky and positive but I also loved grumpy pretending-not-to-care SO Ward. 

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: Skye… or Daisy I guess. I started losing interest around halfway through S2 with the whole Afterlife plot (and then just stopped watching the show altogether after the S2 finale lol) but S3 was the one that really left a bad taste in my mouth. And the start of S4 with emo vigilante Daisy. I don’t dislike her, but it’s a far cry from the love I had for her in the early days. Same with Jemma, actually. I really liked her in S1, this cute, quirky if slightly awkward scientist willing to bend the rules when she believes it’s the right thing to do. Afterwards things got… complicated. I like her more on her own, outside of FS scenes (which, when does that ever happen?) Can she/they ever have a storyline that doesn’t involve saving the other one? For science? No?

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: Hmm… I don’t think I have one? Once I decide I like something, I fall for it pretty hard. lol. I guess Daisy/Lincoln. That’s a funny one, because when they sort of started flirting in S2 I liked the idea of them together, and I thought they had a lot of potential. But once it actually happened I wasn’t into it at all. It felt kinda rushed and I just didn’t really see any chemistry between them. It was an ‘expectations vs. reality’ sort of thing for me.

my ultimate favorite character™: Oh gosh… Fitz, I guess? I mean, obviously I’m trash for Ophelia but I actually wasn’t all that fond of the whole Aida arc at the beginning… I liked her more in the Framework, and all the potential she had as a human (or Inhuman, whatever.) It’s funny because he sort of grew on me. I admittedly didn’t pay much attention to him in S1 because I was so wrapped up in Skyeward, but once they killed that storyline and started developing his character from the nerdy sidekick/comic relief to an actual, fleshed-out character dealing with brain damage, then yes I became involved. Still mourned the untimely demise of Skyeward in S2 though.

prettiest character: Fitz or Ward if it’s more ‘handsome’ pretty. Out of the ladies… Daisy, I suppose? Also Stephanie Malick because personal bias - yes I’ve loved Bethany Joy Lenz since One Tree Hill and they totally should’ve let her stick around for longer than two episodes god damn it.

my most hated character: I’m not particularly fond of Jemma. Or what they’ve done with her, I suppose. But god damn it if there’s one character I hate it’s Ruby. Really glad that arc is over.

my OTP: This one’s pretty obvious. Skye/Ward and Fitz/Ophelia. Hehe. 

my NOTP: Fitzsimmons sorry not sorry.

favorite episode: (In no particular order): 5.14, 4.16 and 1.17. Self Control and, frankly, all the Framework episodes, are strong contenders, but that’s my podium. 

saddest death: I’ve got to say Fitz. Mostly because it was so sudden and I honestly wasn’t expecting it at all. I genuinely didn’t think they’d have the balls to kill off one half of FS, especially on-screen. I was literally expecting him to miraculously pull through and just have his legs amputated or something. It felt so surreal. Of course, then they brought CryoFitz back into play so really it was all just one big cop-out (figures) but the shock factor was definitely there. It was just the right amount of sad and downright distressing and even unsettling, with the way he didn’t fully comprehend what was happening and just…slipped away. I also really liked how they didn’t cheapen the moment by making it all about FS, which was… honestly such a nice surprise? I preferred the shocked and unaware approach they took, and how he spent his last moments with… kind of the two most unlikely people - May whom he hasn’t ever really bonded with, a relationship which is made especially awkward by their experience in the Framework and the ‘super villain interrogation’ in 5.15; and Mack, who literally told him days or even hours earlier that he needs ‘fixing.’ It was all very weird and bizarre and surprising, and definitely felt like a solid punch to the gut. At least, until they straight up announced they’re going to essentially retcon it… Eh. Also, Ophelia? Maybe less sad and more just downright disturbing and gratuitously violent and graphic. 

favorite season: If Season 1 and 4.16-20 and 5.14 could somehow be merged into one season… that would be it. lol. Overall, I have to say S1. Most people hate it and call it the weakest season and, sure, it felt very formulaic and had this predictable ‘monster of the week’ format at first but it was genuinely enjoyable to watch. Every other season after that I just found myself getting angry at something. lol. I actually liked pretty much every character in S1 to some degree and because nothing was set in stone or made explicitly canon yet, there was a lot more freedom shipping-wise. There was no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ ship, or ‘no you can’t like this character because of X, Y, Z’ it was just whatever you were into. For a while it seemed like pretty much all combinations of the Bus Kids ships had a decent chance of sailing. That’s a pretty damn good feeling. 

least favorite season: Hands down Season 5. I wasn’t a fan of Season 3 either (though admittedly I did like certain episodes/aspects of it) and Season 2 could’ve done without that whole ‘Real SHIELD’ plot but Season 5 takes the cake. I mean… seriously. It was a let down, especially after the hugely successful Framework arc (the show’s strongest point so far imo.) So naturally there was a lot of expectation and it kind of fell flat. They had maybe 2 or 3 strong episodes. The rest was riddled with plot holes, blatant fan service, lines that sounded like they pulled straight from fanfic, radical and often inexplicable shifts in character behaviour from one episode to the next that could be classified as borderline character assassination, frequent lack of continuity, too much time spent on characters that ultimately turned out to be irrelevant/got quickly killed off, writers seemingly forgetting what had happened in literally the previous episode, etc. There’s really no excuse for that mess. lol. Not to mention the at times pretty obvious budget cuts and the lack of decent lighting which made the space pod downright unwatchable at times. Really feels like the weakest, most disjointed and confused season of all. Which is a shame. Because it could’ve been great. But it just really… wasn’t.

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: I don’t want to say Jemma but… Jemma? I guess part of the problem is that I feel there tends to be a discrepancy between the actual canonic on-screen representation of Jemma and fanon Jemma, at least in my experience. She (and Daisy) seem to get put on this imaginary pedestal a lot of the time and given leeway and all these concessions that other characters aren’t allowed. Sometimes I think I hate fandom’s approach to and treatment of certain characters more than I hate the actual character. Also, Mack and Bobbi? I feel like they’re pretty massive fandom faves as well and I never really got invested in them. I don’t hate them, they’re just… Meh. 

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: Leopold, the ultimate trash fave. Hehe. He’s just so deliciously messed up and complex and it’s so much fun to explore all of that. He’s like the one villain AOS completely unintentionally got right. Magnetic, charismatic, complicated. Sure, he only ever really shows up in about five episodes but in those five or six episodes they build a really solid character. We’re not told or shown everything, but that’s the point. Sometimes the implication is enough - and it’s super fun to fill in those gaps. And those suits. I mean, c’mon. lol

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: Literally no one on this show is a cinnamon roll anymore. lol. I think Ophelia easily could’ve had a really satisfying redemption arc if the writers were actually willing to get into that instead of just shelving their more complex characters and turning to the safe option of ‘let’s kill the baddie.’ Ward could’ve possibly been redeemed too (up to a certain point at least) but I guess part of his appeal is that he didn’t want to be? Uh… and out of the still alive ones (kind of??), Fitz. He’s had a really tough time literally since S2. I also liked Mace and Radcliffe and I kind of wish they got to stick around for a bit longer.

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: Fitz/Ophelia. Obviously. I guess one of the more weirder ones is Hive/Stephanie. That’s… not remotely canon (I mean, I guess they kissed? lol) but in my headcanon Framework verse it is. Let’s be honest, there’s probably tons more because I always latch on to the more obscure stuff, but I can’t really think of anything else at the moment.

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: Philinda and Mackelena. I don’t ship either but I guess I can kind of see the appeal and I wish them all the best for the sake of the shippers because both of these pairings are frequently overshadowed by… well, the main ship. I can totally understand and sympathize with their frustration. 

[nickyvmlp]

My Top 10 Characters I Want in Smash Ultimate

I got a couple of requests for this in my last Smash reaction video, and I didn’t want to make it a full video, so it’ll go here, HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOO.  (Also, none of my top 10 need to be echo fighters, but I’ll throw in a few echos near the end.)

10) Alex Roivas from Eternal Darkness: Sanity’s Requiem

This will not happen, especially with Simon and Richter filling the horror game niche, but I can dream, darnit.  For the unaware, Eternal Darkness: Sanity’s Requiem was a 2002 GameCube exclusive psychological horror game; it’s basically Resident Evil meets Call of Cthulhu, and it’s my favorite horror game of all time. In the game, you play as Alex Roivas, a few of her ancestors, and few other schmucks across history unfortunate enough to stumble across an ancient book called the Tome of Eternal Darkness, which drags them into a conflict that could destroy the world.  Alex ends up using the knowledge she’s learned from the Tome to stop the rise of three ancient deities, each bent on world domination.  So in Smash, she could have the Tome at her disposal and could even carry it into battle like Robin does.  Her standard attacks can involve normal weaponry she uses like guns and knives and stuff, while her special attacks can all involve using the Tome to summon something.  For her Final Smash, she can hit everyone in a set radius around her with a huge sanity effect that adds 100% damage and breaks the shield of anyone caught in it, leaving them wide open for a heavy attack and a KO.  Plus, more strong female Smash characters, never a bad thing.

9) Decidueye from Pokemon

Every Smash game has a new Pokemon rep, and there’s quite for few on the rumor mill.  Gardevoir and Gothitelle get brought up a lot, but they’d draw a lot of comparisons to (and may end up being an EF to) Mewtwo, especially in Gardevoir’s case.  They could also throw in a currently unannounced Pokemon from Gen 8 with that being right around the corner.  But, Decidueye makes the most sense to me.  It’s got a cool design and there aren’t many characters that uses arrows in their arsenal, basically just the Links and Pit.  Plus, his Flying type would give him really strong recovery, most comparable to Charizard’s.  For his Final Smash, give him Zelda’s FS from Brawl, a giant arrow that KO’s everyone in a straight line.

8) The Eeveelutions from Pokemon

If you like Pokemon, odds are good that you like at least one of the Eeveelutions.  Espeon’s my favorite Pokemon ever, and Jolteon, Umbreon, and Sylveon are up there too.  And there’s eight Eeveelutions at the moment (not counting Eevee) and eight alternate costume spots for each character, so here’s what I’m thinking.  You reveal the Eeveelutions in the next Direct, and put up a poll on the Smash website: Who is your favorite Eeveelution?  The winner of the poll is the default character, while everyone else are the alt costumes.  This does mean that the Eeveelutions will have to be virtually identical, but that shouldn’t be too hard, a Flamethrower can look like a Hydro Pump, a Thunderbolt, a Psyshock, etc. with some small cosmetic changes.  And their Final Smash could either be similar to Mega Man’s where everyone joins in for a giant combined attack, or if you wanna get cartoony, have them get into a big dust cloud fight with other Eeveelutions joining in before the victim gets launched offscreen by it.  Plus with Let’s Go Pikachu and Eevee coming soon, it’s a great time to give Eevee’s family some love

7) Black Shadow from F-Zero

You know me, I love F-Zero GX more than I love three square meals a day, and at the moment, there’s barely any Smash representation for the GREATEST RACING GAME OF ALL TIME, so let’s change that.  Samurai Goroh is already an Assist Trophy, so how about Falcon’s other main rival, Black Shadow?  Taking a quick look at him, he’s obviously a big, strong character which makes him well-equipped to be in a fighting game.  But taking a second look at him will make you chuckle, because he’s kinda goofy looking.  He’s wearing a full-body black spandex suit, with bull horns, cloven feet, and a cape.  Yea, he’s a sadistic monster in the games and the anime, but still he’s a little hard to take seriously.  And that can work in his advantage.  In Nintendo Directs, they like to use villains that you can kinda take the piss out of in certain places, like Dedede, Wario, and surely in the future, K. Rool.  Black Shadow can exist in a similar role, and maybe the four can form some evil alliance if they decide to make Subspace Emissary 2.  (Please make Subspace Emissary 2.)  His Final Smash can be identical to Falcon’s, hit your opponent with the Black Bull, works just fine.  Plus, maybe a new F-Zero character could build hype for a new game in the series?  Please?

6) Paper Mario

I’m not sure why some people want Paper Mario to be Mario’s EF?  Wasn’t the point of Mario and Luigi: Paper Jam to show how different those two are?  Anyway, Paper Mario has a bevy of ways to attack that would help him stand apart from his 3-dimensional counterpart.  His standard attack can involve his hammer (which Mario doesn’t have), with the directional standards involving various badges like the Hammer Throw and the Ice Smash.  His special attacks can use his various buddies.  Parakarry can be his recovery, Vivian can be a Down-B defense tool, you could even use Thoreau as his throwing mechanic.  And the final Smash could involve one of the realistic items from the new games, like the electric fan blowing all the opponents offscreen.  I don’t know much about the newer games, they didn’t look as good.

5) Shadow the Hedgehog

This is another one that COULD be an Echo Fighter, but Shadow plays pretty differently to Sonic in their games.  He skates instead of runs, he uses weapons whereas Sonic just uses his speed, Shadow has a FUCKING GUN, there’s plenty that you can do with Shadow to separate him from Sonic.  Particularly involving his Final Smash, Chaos Control.  When it’s used, everyone on screen freezes for ten seconds.  In that time, Shadow can use one heavy attack after another after another, and when the time runs out, all the damage and force from those attacks hit at once, and that character will go flying.  It’d be kinda like Link’s Stasis from Breath of the Wild (which should be Link’s FS, but oh well)

4) Spring Man from Arms

So, Arms wasn’t as big of a hit as people were hoping.  That’s a bummer, it looks like a fun game.  How about we give it one last shot in the arm (teehee) to try to boost its exposure?  Put Spring Man in the game, and have him focus on long-range attacks and throws.  His recovery can be a long whip that grabs ledges like Olimar’s.  And for his Final Smash, give him a big winding tornado throw that KOs whoever he grabs and damages anyone who gets hit by the swinging arms in the process.  Show what he can do in Smash, and maybe it’ll entice people to see what he can do in Arms.  I just want that game to be successful.

3) Rayman

I was shocked that Rayman didn’t get into Smash WiiU, since it seems like Nintendo and Ubisoft have been on great terms for a long time, like how Rayman Origins and Legends ended up on Nintendo consoles when it had almost no third-party support.  Rayman even had a trophy in WiiU, so it was really surprising to me that he wasn’t one of the DLC characters.  Let’s fix that.  His unattached limbs would give him some good range, he’d have some magic that he could use at his disposal for special attacks.  And for his Final Smash, how about summoning a swarm of mosquitoes to fly across the screen, doing massive damage with each hit, like a super-powered version of the Beedrills from Smash 64?

2) Geno from Super Mario RPG

I’m not a huge Final Fantasy guy, but I’m so glad Cloud got into Smash WiiU/3DS, because it throws the door wide open for other Square characters.  A lot of people think this will lead to Sora from Kingdom Hearts getting in (doubtful), but I want Geno to finally get in.  He did get an outfit for the Mii Gunner in the last game, but seeing him actually in Smash, not just as a Mii, would be so great.  Mario RPG is criminally underrated, and it laid the groundwork for the Paper Mario and the Mario & Luigi games.  He’d, of course, be a long range fighter, using his finger cannons as his main attacks, and for his Final Smash:  the Geno Flash, which would be like a combination of Pit’s and Jigglypuff’s FS.  You’d go offscreen and aim a point on the map.  From that epicenter, a giant blast grows, trapping and damaging anyone who gets in the blast radius, before launching those victims off the stage.

Honorable Mentions (Echo Fighters)

Donkey Kong: Jungle Beat brought Funky Kong back into the fold, and he’s got a very similar body type to Donkey Kong, so that makes perfect sense to me.

Hyrule Warriors could use a representative, and since Midna’s already an Assist Trophy, how about Impa?  She’s got a great look and could borrow Sheik’s moveset quite well.

I never bought Wart as an Echo Fighter, since the characters he was usually attached to (Bowser or Dedede) didn’t feel similar enough.  But K. Rool, on the other hand, fits just right.  K. Rool looks like a caricature of Wart.

People seem to like Xenoblade Chronicles 2, so let’s add to the Xenoblade cast in Smash.  I don’t know a lot about Rex, besides his goofy pants, but I’m sure he’d be a great fit.

This might seem odd, but how about Andy from Advance Wars as an Echo to Bowser Jr.?  Andy could ride in a tank and shoot projectiles while using the turret as a short-range melee attack?  Could work.

1) Sans and Papyrus from Undertale

No, but could you imagine?

1) Crash and Coco Bandicoot

This would be the kind of Internet breaking character that you put as the last character added to give one final hype boost to the already unstoppable Smash hype train.  The N. Sane Trilogy is already out on Switch, so the publishers already have their foot in the door, so let’s just go for it.  And as an added bonus, you could announce Coco Bandicoot at the same time (like Simon and Richter) for added excitement.  (I would absolutely main as Coco.)  Their standard attacks could revolve around their spin attacks, while their specials would involve using their various powerups like the fruit bazooka and the belly flop.  And the Final Smash would involve using Aku Aku to turn invincible for a brief time.  Yes, they’re kinda doing away with that kind of FS, maybe they could make a cutscene out of it and cause an instant KO or something.  I don’t know, just gimme Crash in Smash, please.