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mypoisonedvine · 3 years

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𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙮 𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙖𝙡 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 (𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘝𝘐𝘐 - 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙡𝙚) || sub!bucky barnes x dominatrix!reader

(𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘐) (𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘐𝘐) (𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘐𝘐𝘐) (𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘐𝘝) (𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘝) (𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘝𝘐)

𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 || the finale.

𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩 || 3.5k

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 || fluff, angst, implied smut, domestic goodness, more EMOTIONS!!!

six months ago...

Bucky wrung his hands a few times before knocking on your door, feeling his heart beat a little faster when he could hear the sounds of your footsteps on the other side. He'd been dreaming of a day like this for so long— the day he finally acted on this secret obsession he had, the day he stopped fantasizing and started realizing— but all this time, part of him had never really thought he'd go through with it. I mean, there's a pretty big difference between jerking off to videos of dominant women and actually getting spanked, slapped, and choked by a dominatrix after paying her an insane amount of money per hour.

But frankly, Bucky needed a big difference from what he'd been doing. He'd been alone for a little too long, he needed someone else's touch before he lost his mind. And he knew that he needed something more substantial than a hook-up, someone who wouldn't expect him to be dominant at all. Even in a kink-less, vanilla hook-up, there’s still an onus of dominance, that’s what Bucky had realised. He’s still supposed to initiate, to guide, to be fully in control… and he hates how it feels to be in control. He’s not used to it, and it doesn’t feel right, and it just makes him sure he’ll do something wrong. So here he was, standing at your door, hoping you’d take away his freedom to do something wrong.

The latch turned and you opened it.

Fuck.

You looked great. Too great, almost overwhelming. Even better than the pictures on your website.

You looked so much softer than the women he saw whenever he searched up femdom porn (yes, that was pretty much the first thing he did once he figured out google— thankfully he had also figured out incognito mode), but your presence was twice as commanding. Your eyes scanned over him quickly and your face stayed annoyingly stoic.

You invited him in; And since then, you’d had him wrapped around your finger.

Even knowing to a certain extent what he was getting into, he could’ve never prepared for how quickly he’d fall for you. Not that he was exactly new to the feeling, but he thought guilt might eat him alive: because of course he felt awful for developing real feelings for you. You were just doing your job and he was falling into the same trap that probably every dumbass client fell into.

Or maybe they actually knew what they were doing and understood how to separate fantasy from reality. He couldn’t decide which one was worse.

He spent a few hours trying to decide while staring up at his ceiling— certainly a better way to spend the time than being social or taking care of unfinished business, right?

But leave it to you to change everything with just three words. Make me yours.

He hadn’t stopped thinking about those words— or about the way you said them— since the moment you spoke them. He hadn’t stopped changing his mind on if he could really believe you were his or not. He wanted to, more than anything; and in those brief moments he did, he felt a joy that he had no idea what to do with.

He frowned as he turned his back towards the mirror, looking over his shoulder to watch his finger run over the fading scars on his back. They’d be gone for good in less than a week, but he knew you had left plenty of permanent marks on him— just unfortunately not those that anyone else could see. He liked the way these scars looked under your fingertips much more than his; he liked everything about being in your arms.

Since you’d texted him to ask if you could have a serious talk with him soon, he worried he wouldn’t get to feel that again. In fact, nothing worried him more.

He was typically antsy as he waited for you to answer the door— he had been since that very first time so long ago— but this felt entirely different: not as jittery, but a thousand times more anxious.

At first he’d been wishing you’d answer it right away, but then he heard your bolt turn and panic landed on him like a dangling anvil dropping on a cartoon character. Suddenly the last thing he wanted was for you to open that door, to be standing there looking all perfect and shit, to smile at him and greet him and invite him in. He didn’t want it; he couldn’t take it.

But you did it all anyway, though it was obviously and immediately a new situation entirely, compared to every other time you’d done it.

You were dressed differently, still formal but definitely toned down. Nothing sexual, at least not objectively. And your smile, though it still made his heart skip a beat just like always, was noticeably softer and maybe a bit sadder.

He stepped in past you, and you surprised him by sitting next to him on the couch rather than across from him on your chair. “Do you want, like, water or anything?” you asked, breaking the silence for a moment.

“No, I’m fine,” he nodded.

Bucky had gotten pretty good at silence these past few years; it didn’t bother him, in fact he barely even noticed it. But this silence made him remember why everyone else hated silence so much: it was heavy and thick and made him overcome with the need to blurt something out. “Everyone calls me Bucky,” he finally admitted. You smiled.

“Do you want me to call you that?” you asked.

He considered your question, trying to imagine you saying it. “I… I used to think it would be better, but now I like the way you say ‘James’ too much.”

“If you thought it would be better, why did you ask me to call you James?” you pressed.

“Because I didn’t want you to know who I was.”

“I know who you are,” you informed him. “I always knew.”

He swallowed as the pit formed in his gut, glancing away to hide from your gaze. “You did a good job of… of pretending you didn’t. You never seemed scared of me.”

“Because I wasn’t. And I’m not.”

He couldn’t imagine how; but then again, if there was any truly fearless woman, he figured it would be you. “I thought you’d beat me up better if you knew what I’d done,” he admitted, almost smiling but not exactly feeling very happy. “Thought you might want… revenge.”

“Surprised that didn’t make you want to tell me.”

He laughed a bit at that. “Yeah, fair enough.”

You asked him a very different question next, one that made his throat suddenly dry: "Have you ever had something that was all your own?" you spoke gently.

"Not for a long time…" he trailed off, letting his eyes unfocus as he stared down at your floor before finding the courage to look up at you again. “Is that what you wanna be?” he asked, already wishing he hadn’t said anything in case it was too presumptuous, but you just smiled back at him in a shy sort of way.

“Something like that,” you mitigated.

His eyes darted around your face— from your eyes glancing away, to your lips that you gnawed on for a moment, to the little crease between your brows— and he found himself leaning forward before he even realized it. “Can I kiss you?” he asked quietly.

You didn’t answer, you just kissed him first; he was so relieved that you did it, too, that you took control so easily and just let him melt into your kiss. As good as it felt to submit to you, he enjoyed the new freedom he had in this moment as well— the freedom to reach up and grab your waist, to brush his hand over your hair, to tilt his head and deepen the kiss further.

It was hard to define exactly where it went from innocent to sensual to sexual, but by the time you were straddling his lap and running your fingers through his hair, it was definitely sexual.

“I want you,” you breathed against his lips.

“Have me,” he offered immediately, “I’m yours. Always was.”

He breathed in sharply when you moved your hips just right to rub up against his swelling cock through his jeans, making him grip your waist a bit harder. “Good boy,” you whispered. “You’re so good, James.”

He believed you this time, finally.

For your first real date, he took you to Coney Island. Not the classiest affair, and he promised to take you somewhere really nice next, but you didn’t mind. It was jarring to see you in casual clothes for the first time, something summer-y and light which was everything opposite to how he was used to seeing you; but he liked it, and he liked knowing a secret about you as you walked through a crowd of carnival-goers that were none the wiser.

He walked you through the fair and explained how he remembered it, showed you the few things that hadn’t changed much. He bought you a hot dog and even won you a prize at one of the games; that one where you throw a baseball and it measures your pitch speed? Yeah, it’s rigged, but he pitched lefty and it seemed to even everything out. (It’s not cheating, okay? It’s beating them at their own game, literally.)

So with a massive teddy under one arm and his waist wrapped in your other, you two walked through the winding pier, under twinkling lights and over walkways towering over the ocean below. And then you fooled around a bit on the ferris wheel. It was the ideal Coney Island experience, for sure.

Bucky didn’t have a ton of friends, per se, but he was excited for you to meet them. Meeting friends was certainly a step, though; hopefully a step you were willing to take, but he didn’t want to ask you to do it without at least having a title to introduce you with.

“I want you to be my girlfriend,” he finally told you.

“I kinda thought I already was,” you laughed.

And so, with more pride than he might have ever had for anything before, Bucky finally got to take you to meet everyone (‘everyone’ being a mix of his friends and his coworkers, who may or may not be his friends because he couldn’t always tell) and say “I want you guys to meet my girlfriend.”

Of course you were amazing with all of them; you continued that tactful “I know who you are but I’m pretending I don’t to be nice” thing that you’d started with him, and everyone seemed to appreciate it. You cracked a couple jokes, everyone laughed.

You lied about how you and Bucky met, or at least answered very strategically. Everyone at least pretended to believe you.

Afterwards, they all said something about how great you were or about how lucky he was. The only thing he ever said back was “I know.”

Now that he could kiss you without breaking any rules, he never wanted to stop. He hardly ever did, actually. He kissed you basically whenever he could get the chance; you two didn’t even go out much anymore because he wasn’t very good at keeping his hands to himself, but you weren’t exactly complaining about staying in. You were too busy kissing him back, and teasing him mercilessly while you were at it, to do that.

You had already found the fastest way to get him needy and begging, not that any way took very long. If you kissed him while you straddled his lap, wrapping your arms around him and slowly grinding against him, he lost it in minutes. And you really seemed to get a kick out of watching him lose it, just as much as always.

It made him realize that the way you looked at him before, in sessions and scenes together, was a lot less of an act than he’d assumed at the time. He just thought you were a really good actress, or that he was really whipped; and maybe the first was true, and the second was absolutely true, but regardless it had become clear that you had it almost as bad as he did from the beginning. It gave him even more respect for how well you controlled yourself, he certainly hadn’t had much self-control at the time— after all the whole ordeal was about losing control, and occasionally about trying to gain it back.

He didn’t ask you to quit your job. He didn’t want or expect you to; but you did cut down your hours, which gave the two of you more time together.

To be totally honest, part of him got a bit titillated to imagine you with your other clients. He didn’t like the idea of other men touching you, but he smirked at the thought of them begging to touch you and being denied; he liked knowing that you didn’t do with them even half of the stuff you’d done with him when he was your client.

But he wasn’t your client anymore. He was your boyfriend, and he wanted the world to know it.

six months later...

He let you struggle to reach the top shelf for a moment, just because you looked cute on your tip-toes with the tip of your tongue sticking out of the corner of your mouth, before he finally relented and helped you grab the bottle of rice wine vinegar.

“Thanks,” you smiled as he set it in the cart.

After that you let him grab everything, content to stand on the end of the cart and push you around as you reminded him what else you needed.

“We’re out of Captain Crunch!” you remembered as he passed the cereal aisle, pointing to try to get him to turn.

“Yes, and we need to stay that way,” Bucky explained sternly, “that shit is addictive. Only way to avoid it is to not have it in the house.”

You frowned but accepted that he was absolutely right, though you groaned when he took you to the refrigerated section to stock up on chicken breasts. “I swear, you would eat these for breakfast if you didn’t think I’d judge you for it,” you joked.

“What’s wrong with chicken breasts?”

“They’re just so… bland!”

“Not if you season them right,” he corrected.

“Which you don’t,” you rolled your eyes. “Come on, at least splurge on some chicken thighs. They’re basically the same but so much more flavorful.”

“Fine, but no more making fun of my cooking,” Bucky decided, placing the breasts back on the shelf and grabbing two packs of thighs instead. “I’m still adapting to 21st century sensibilities.”

“Right,” you nodded, though he caught your smile in the corner of his eye— you knew he couldn’t exactly claim to still be as conservative as he was raised to be in every way.

Like any well-planned grocery run, it ended at the frozen section where you got some fruit bars and frozen vegetables (you had this theory that frozen vegetables tasted better in fried rice than fresh ones, and so far you’d proven him right) and he got a pizza to have for dinner in a pinch. When shopping alone before, he always did self-checkout to avoid being seen anymore than he had to… he still did it with you, but he didn’t even think about who might be looking at him, because all he saw was you.

You drove for this trip, and he always felt oddly soothed by riding passenger with you at the wheel. He liked to close his eyes and lean back a bit, or occasionally look over at you (but if he did it too much you complained that he was being creepy and distracting you). It shouldn’t be too much of a surprise that he enjoyed the feeling of you taking control, considering everything, but it was one of those little ways that he hadn’t expected. He just felt so comfortable, so safe with you, and never he felt like he was a burden for asking you to take the lead when he didn’t trust himself with it. And that applied to everything— driving, cooking, speaking up in crowds, all those little things that sometimes made him anxious.

There were some things he didn’t have any trouble being dominant about, though. He was very protective of you, for example, and tended to be uptight about how late you went out for walks or where you should be going alone. And he didn’t struggle to ask you for what he wanted— he was getting a lot better at asking for help, specifically.

He used to ask you to say that you loved him, instead of just saying ‘I love you’ himself, because for some reason it was easier to make you do it first. It started as something he’d beg for in the throes of passion, fingers digging into your skin as his eyes watered (as they often did in intimate moments): please, say you love me— jus’ need to hear you say it, please? And you were always sweet about it in return, of course I love you, James, my good boy, I love you so so much. But then he’d ask you to say it whenever he felt like it— he’d come up behind you while you were reading or cooking or something and kiss the top of your head or the shell of your ear and try to act nonchalant as he asked you love me, right?

You’d laugh and roll your eyes before you answered, but it was, thankfully, always a ‘yes.’ Eventually you figured out how often you needed to say it to make him stop asking all the time, which was probably a little too often.

“I love you,” you blurted out randomly as you turned on your signal and leaned a bit to make sure it was safe to make a left— case in point.

“I love you too,” he answered back with a smile.

“I don’t mind saying it so often,” you added, “but you know that I love you even when I’m not saying it, right? I love you all the time.”

It was a simple question, probably mostly rhetorical, but it hit him harder than he expected. “Yeah, I know,” he managed to get out evenly enough that you didn’t notice he was tearing up a bit.

He put the groceries away while you took the trash out; you liked to keep the fridge pretty organized, and it was an adjustment at first, but by now Bucky had it down pat. Before you, he hadn’t even considered that the contents of a refrigerator could be aesthetically pleasing.

Dinner was leftovers in front of the TV— you two were almost done with Frasier, but after that you had ten seasons of Friends to get through. You had tried to encourage him to watch more challenging stuff— you know, True Detective, Hannibal, dark cerebral stuff with arguably more artistic merit than classic sitcoms— but Bucky had had enough darkness in his life that he didn’t need it in his fiction. Maybe he’d find the time to catch up on the last 80 years of dramas and murder mysteries after he caught up on the last 80 years of comedy.

After dinner you were going to do yoga and Bucky, not in the mood to embarrass himself with that, retired to the bedroom a bit early to read his book— he’d heard a lot about this Harry Potter guy and now that he was on the fourth book and could hardly put it down, he understood the hype. He related a bit to the unwilling war hero in its protagonist; most of the time the series enthralled him, but occasionally something would hit too deep and he’d have to put it away for a couple days. At the moment, though, he was in one of the easy parts where it was just about schoolwork and childhood antics.

He instinctively glanced at the door when he heard you open it— he wasn’t sure how long it had been time-wise, but he’d gotten through quite a few pages— but he only quickly looked up at you as you shut the door behind you, before returning his attention to the book he was reading. “So, Bucky…” you began.

“Yeah?” he mumbled.

“James.”

It wasn’t any one thing that got his attention— not just the tone of your voice or the way it got a bit deeper, not just the look you gave him, not just the way the air of the room seemed to shift all at once. It was everything about you that made his body react instantly. He shut the book and set it aside, sitting up straight to look at you expectantly.

And you seemed to notice his instinctual obedience, considering you just barely smirked at him, raising an eyebrow as he spoke his reply: “Yes, Mistress?”

#sub!bucky barnes x dominatrix!reader #sub!bucky barnes x domme!reader

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bistevethor · 3 years

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Steve Rogers Fanfiction Recommendations

Happy birthday, Steve!

I know that there are some (a lot?) of steve fans who sometimes struggle to find fics focused on him, so I am here now putting a list of Steve fics. I was going to fics that I haven't seen recommended a lot and most of the ones on this post have less than 200 kudos only, but I end up putting everything (it's probably easier to put my bookmarks as public but well...). It's a massive list (over 100 fics?), so it's will be separated into several posts/reblogs.

Not all of them are from Steve's POV or even have him as the main 'main' character, but rest assured he played an important role and is featured heavily. Lots of these are friendship-focused but I categorized them. The shippy ones are mostly samsteve, thundershield, and some rare pairings because I don't venture to other ships a lot and when I did it's to the rare ones instead lol. Hopefully, any of you can find some gems from this list and these are as enjoyable or as good as I remembered. I'll continue to update it, hopefully, every time I find new ones.

Fics are under read more.

General

The Rocket's Red Glare

Steve was born on the Fourth of July (no joke), so a party is in order! Unfortunately, PTSD decides to rear its ugly head. Fortunately, Steve's got an entire team at his back to help him through it. And screaming goats.

an entry in the scrapbook of absurdity

In which Steve turns into a baby and bites people.

Baby Steve Adventures

Captain America gets hit by a spell during a battle. The rest of the Avengers look after him.

Do You Remember Being Happy? ('Cause I Sure Don't)

"Dragr," Thor called them. "Demons" Clint had said. "Thieves" is what Steve labels them as. AKA, the one where Steve is captured by creatures that feed off of happy memories, and the team is left to pick up the pieces. Post-Avengers.

In Search of (Bucky, Family, Home)

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov & Sam Wilson

A week following the events of CATWS, Steve recruits Natasha and Sam to help find Bucky.

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Do we need to recap again? You were shot three times, beaten near to death by an enhanced super soldier with a metal arm and then almost drowned. Yeah, your ass is going to need a few more days of healing time.”

The Truth When Captains Meet

Steve Rogers wakes up on an alien’s space ship being carried bridal style by Carol Danvers. As far as first meetings go, it’s memorable.

Irish Coffee

Pairings: Jessica Jones & Steve Rogers

Jessica runs into an incognito Cap at a cafe. They form an unlikely friendship of sorts.

The Lifetimes of Steve Rogers (Series)

What happens when Steve Rogers steps onto the quantum platform to return the Stones? Where does he go? What challenges does he find? Who does he meet? How many lifetimes can one man have?

Fifty-Two Pickup

Less than a week after the fall of the Triskelion, Steve Rogers is released from the hospital. Although his physical wounds are almost fully healed, other injuries need a bit more time, and some help from friends.

little kids get big so fast

Steve ends up having to take care of the deaged Defenders.

Grampa Steve's Bedtime Stories

If Mommy was away for work, then Morgan’s Grampa Steve came over to stay with her. He’d tuck her in, let her give Mommy a kiss on video chat, then hand her the picture of Daddy for his kiss. Once Daddy’s picture was back on the bookshelf, Grampa Steve would turn off the bedside lamp so that Miss Friday could cover the ceiling with stars, and ask Morgan what story she wanted to hear.

“Captain Steve, Grampa! Tell me Captain Steve!”

Grampa Steve sometimes read to her from books and other times watched a movie with her, but her favorite by far was when he told her Captain Steve’s Adventures Through the Multiverse.

On Camping Trips

Sam is more Hermione than Natasha is, and Steve doesn't want to be Harry.

Powerful

Steve loses the advantages of the super-soldier serum. This is not a tragedy.

His Dream

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson

As if on cue, Steve cut him off with a loud sneeze.

"Yeah. Like that." Sam nodded. "And please sneeze into your elbow next time, dude. You could've just started an epidemic."

"Sorry. Allergies." Steve excused, and Sam raised an eyebrow.

"How do you know it's allergies?" Sam asked, and Steve sighed, putting the ingredients together and solving the mystery of what the gas had actually done.

The answer wasn't ideal. "It feels like the seasonal allergies I had before. Before the serum- and I haven't had them since the serum."

Realization clicked in Sam's head.

"The gas de-serumed you."

Steve swallowed and nodded reluctantly.

OR: Steve gets temporarily de-serumed, with his height and stature staying the same but his immune system being as bad as it was before, and has to stay in the hospital to prevent a severe allergic reaction or illness. Sam stays with him the whole time, making sure he's not alone.

A Strange Encounter

Things have gone awry and Strange is injured. With no other options, he's called for assistance from Captain America and his team.

even if we're apart, i'll always be with you

Steve finds a dirty toy bear at an abandoned gas station, on the way back from a school trip. He brings him home.

As Long as You’re Not Tired Yet of Talking

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

When Steve Rogers tells her, “Don’t be a stranger,” as they’re all going their own ways after New York, it makes her want to laugh.

Draw/Breath

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

Natasha like knowing what makes people tick. She likes knowing things, about her teammates and her coworkers and herself. Oddly enough, sometimes other people like knowing her too.

AKA: Natasha wants to know why Steve isn’t drawing anymore, and takes the long way round to get her answer. Because why not.

With Magic We Do Fly

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff & Steve Rogers

In Civil War we see Wanda fling Steve into the air with her magic. They must have practiced that, right?

Que Wanda throwing Steve against a wall. Many times.

Just Like We Practiced

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff & Steve Rogers

Steve had said, in the movie when he asked Wanda to lift him into the building, "Just like we practiced." But just how did they come up with the idea of her lifting people with her powers, and putting them up somewhere like an escalator? Perhaps it was because Wanda accidentally sent a certain tall, blond Avenger face-first into the floor once and he decided he would help her learn to utilize this as a confidence building exercise. Natasha keeps an eye, Thor and Sam help build the training grounds, and Wanda has found her new home. Takes place between AGE OF ULTRON and CIVIL WAR.

Black and White but Red and Blue

They're watching black and white film reels, but Steve sees them in colour.

"My shield may be black and white but it was red and blue. Just like the blue sky under which red blood was spilled. Like Bucky's blue eyes and Peggy's red lips..."

The Road Warriors

Characters: Sam Wilson (Marvel), Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Wanda Maximoff

It wasn't pretty, but somehow the four of them managed to make it through two years on the run.

We'll Fix It

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

Steve has a hard time after his battle with The Winter Soldier and isn't sure what to do with himself. After not seeing him for a week, Natasha finally shows up to his apartment unannounced to figure out how they can get back to work. There is some crying involved.

From Here On Out

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

The Accords, the search for Bucky, the fight at the airport ... In a world where nothing will ever be the same, sometimes the road to rebuilding trust and friendship is a little rockier than it should be.

AKA, the story of Steve & Natasha and how they got to where they are.

Set post-Civil War but pre-Infinity War.

I have this breath and I hold it tight

Parings: Wanda Maximoff & Steve Rogers, Clint Barton & Wanda Maximoff, Wanda Maximoff & Vision

Steve finally goes to Wanda’s tiny room and taps on the doorframe, although it’s hardly necessary, with the slightly warped floorboards creaking under his feet. “Hey,” he says. “Got a minute?”

Wanda's been a little withdrawn since Steve broke everyone out of the Raft. She's had a lot to think about.

to you.

Pairings: Pietro Maximoff & Wanda Maximoff, Clint Barton & Wanda Maximoff, Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov, Wanda Maximoff & Steve Rogers, Wanda Maximoff & Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximoff & Tony Stark

It's Wanda's birthday today. She's not sure how to feel.

New Love

Pairings: Diana (Wonder Woman) & Steve Rogers

Near the end of World War II, Diana Prince finds herself attempting to reconnect to her long-gone, beloved Steve Trevor. However, she comes across Steve Rogers instead.

Sharing Life (And Canned Green Beans)

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

It’s Thanksgiving, and Steve is hiding in the second living room on the 8th floor of the penthouse apartments with a can of green beans.

I'm Fine

Steve slowly began to realize that the problem with being a national icon, a hero, and a role model, is that somehow, he became more than human. He become a symbol, not a person. So when he becomes increasingly unhappy, deeply depressed, and utterly adrift in a world where he doesn't belong, the loneliness and isolation are unbearable. How could anyone believe that an iconic hero like himself was really just an ordinary kid from Brooklyn, dying inside because everything he'd gained still wasn't enough to replace everything he'd lost? How could he possibly bring himself to bleed on the ones he loves? So he tells himself the same lie over and over, hoping one day, he'll believe it.

dogpile

"My dog ate my mission report" An injured Steve remembers something he has to do. Unabashed Steve and dogs fluff. "Didn't peg you for a pet guy." "Allergies."

Alone In This World (Together)

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov & Sam Wilson

“We’re fugitives,” Steve said finally. “It might never get better.”

“The world’s always going to need saving," Sam replied. "We’re still Avengers. No one can take that away from us.” Then, like they hadn't been having an entire conversation before, “So when do we leave?”

“Once night falls.”

Do we have any idea where she is?”

“No.” Steve took a sip of his coffee. “But I know where she’ll be.”

it gets the worst at night

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

Here's how it goes: Natasha sometimes shares a bed with Steve. It's not what it sounds like.

(In which there are Colombian drug lords, awkward boners, cuddly super-soldiers and the Avengers are all giant dorks.)

Shelter

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson

Sam and Steve, right after the fall of SHIELD.

Princely Bickering

Pairings: Jane Foster/Thor, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers & Jane Foster, Steve Rogers & Thor

Steve allows Sam to lean up and inspect his head for bruises and blood. He then checks out Steve’s eyes. ‘Do you know where you are?’ Steve rolls his eyes. ‘Don’t be an ass, Cap, apparently you can break.’ ‘London, England, chasing apparently useless Hydra intel despite having about five hundred international arrest warrants out for us because we’re just that stupid,’ says Steve. Sam pats him - gently - on the shoulder. Life on the run isn't easy, especially not after an injury. Fortunately Steve still has a few allies left.

And The Seconds Tick Down

AU of Civil War. How the world ended in twenty steps when Steve died.

"Grant" and "Francis" Go Shopping

Pairings: Clint Barton & Steve Rogers

Steve and Clint both have holiday shopping to do for their family of choice, so they make a day trip to an outlet mall, have a few heart to hearts, use some coupons, buy a bunch of presents, and eventually get through their shopping lists.

A Tune Without Words

Pairings: Jane Foster/Thor, Steve Rogers & Thor, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson

As he and Sam prepare to begin searching for Bucky, Steve gets various offers of help—some more unexpected than others.

Purpose

Tony Stark wins the fight in Siberia completely by accident.

Steve Rogers does not resist his arrest as he is taken to the Raft.

Sam Wilson, T'Challa, and Pepper Potts pick up the pieces.

Full of Wounds and Still Standing on my Feet

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Wanda Maximoff

The five times Steve looked out for Wanda, and one time Wanda decided someone needed to look out for Steve.

Three Awakenings

The first three times that Steve Rogers woke up during his first twenty-four hours in the twenty-first century.

Making Your Own Future

Characters: Steve Rogers, Diana Prince, Steve Trevor Five times -- plus one -- that Diana Prince and Steve Rogers encountered one another.

Better Living Through Pizza

Pairings: Clint Barton & Steve Rogers

Steve takes some time off from soldiering and Avengering to get his head on straight, and Clint is assigned to keep an eye on him, because apparently SHIELD believes in the blind leading the blind. Steve really needs a hobby, since modern television shows baffle him, but Clint keeps bringing him DVDs and pizza.

Five Times Clint Barton Spoke with Steve Rogers about Growing Old and the One Time He Didn't.

Pairings: Clint Barton & Steve Rogers

When Steve Rogers reappeared from the past as an old man, there was a lot of catching up to do. Clint Barton made sure nobody got left behind.

Hammer's Totally Heavy-Handed and Incompetent Revenge

"So, at the end of IM2, Justin Hammer swears revenge on Pepper. He waits until Tony and Rhodey are halfway across the world to launch his attack.

Unfortunately for him, thanks to SHIELD, Iron Man and War Machine aren't the only superheroes in Pepper's rolladex. Steve thinks Pepper's just swell and doesn't take too kindly to somebody trying to hurt her."

Cue badass!Steve and competent!Pepper

Fan Mail

Steve starts getting his fan mail and receives an invitation to the prom. Written for a prompt at the Avengers kink meme. It was a great prompt, and so much fun to write and get feedback for!

Prom. Steve 'Grandpa Iceberg' Rogers at a 21st-century high school prom. "This isn't happening. This whole conversation is just an elaborate practical joke. Bruce really just has orders for widgets or something."

Bruce waved the printouts at him. "Fraid not. I don't really do practical jokes. Messing with other people's moods just seems. I don't know. Karmically unwise."

Mascot

Steve runs. People see Steve run. Steve gets adopted by the neighbourhood he runs through every week day morning. He finds this confusing. Tony finds it amusing.

Locks Not Replaced

Tony angsts back at Avengers' HQ, Ross is a bully and Steve makes sure he doesn't get away with it. In other words, there is much regret, a bit on the philosophy of locks, adventure and far too many Robin Hood metaphors.

woof

For a prompt on the avengers kinkmeme: "...something different happens when Steve gets Dr Erskine's serum plus the Vita ray treatment... Steve does get taller and stronger, but when the first full moon hits, he turns into a big friendly looking dog. Yes, he's a weredog, not a werewolf."

Mission: Baby

Pairings: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

The Asset finds himself in charge of the care of a small baby, but somehow he knows—he has to protect the baby from all harm, whatever the cost.

14 Tracks

Pairings: Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Avengers Team 14 tracks from Steve's iPod and how they got on there.

Life Will Rattle Your Bones

Pairings: Erik Lehnsherr & Steve Rogers

Captain America and the Howling Commandos find Schmidt sooner than they thought... wait, what do you mean this is a *different* Schmidt?

In war-torn Germany, the paths of Steve Rogers and Erik Lehnsherr cross, part, and cross again.

come build me up

Pairings: Sharon Carter & Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

“Do you ever feel like -- like you joined up because you wanted to do good. You wanted to do the right thing but somewhere along the way, you just lost the whole fucking plot.”

“All of the time.”

Or: the one where Captain America and Agent 13 give long distance friendship a whirl.

Down in the Worn Out Place Again

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Wanda Maximoff

“You don't look a day over 85, Captain,” Wanda says.

Natasha smiles, just barely, and nudges Steve with her elbow. “She makes jokes now.”

(Post AoU, stories about friendship.)

Satellites

Characters: Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Tony Stark, Clint Barton, Nick Fury Pairings: Natasha Romanov & Steve Rogers, Minor Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson, Minor Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov

In the immediate aftermath of SHIELD's collapse and Steve's plunge into the Potomac, Natasha considers her place in the world. Also the fact that Steve is depressing.

Timeless Classics

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Avengers Team Five An undetermined number of times (six, apparently) Steve unexpectedly got the reference (sort of), and one time everyone discovered something new together.

you just wait and see

Pairings: Rocket Raccoon & Steve Rogers

“Thor said you’re the captain.” Rogers says, his voice distant, sad smile growing into a sadder grin. “Tough job.”

The Small Hours

Pairings: Steve Rogers & T'Challa, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

"I'm not getting him back, am I." The words were flatly delivered – not a question so much as fatigued resignation. "We will do everything we can to help him," T'Challa quietly replied, but he wouldn't lie, not about this. Not to a fellow warrior he respected on and off the field of battle. "The possibility does exist, however, that the triggers are permanent."

The Man We All Remember From the Newsreels

Still getting used to the twenty-first century, Steve comforts himself with memories of long-gone friends. But Howard Stark, the man Steve remembers, is nothing like the man he sees in the newsreels.

we're all choir boys at best

Characters: Steve Rogers, Johnny Storm

You are totally getting laid tonight. "Please stop talking." You hijacked my brain first, this is totally not my fault.

Epistaxis

Steve doesn't worry the first time he gets a bloody nose that won't quit. But when it happens a second, third, fourth... He, and his teammates, start to get concerned.

You Close Your Eyes and the Glory Fades

His body isn’t his own, he knows that, knew before the procedure that everything would change. That was the easiest thing to wrap his head around, actually, the physical changes. He’s used to his body betraying him, so this is just another thing to learn his way around. But the colors of everything, even the sliver of blue sky he could see, craning his head at the tiny window, look different.

Looking For Answers (From The Great Beyond)

After the Battle of New York is over, and Loki and the tesseract are returned to Asgard, Steve takes a road trip across the country, and tries to figure out what he wants to do next.

Mourning the Future

Steve's ties to the past and the future are pretty tenuous, and the serum ensures he lives in an eternal present state of ever-youthful vigour. When an old war buddy gets handed his last marching orders, Steve has to wonder if everyone will eventually leave.

Riviera Life

Sam and Steve have been traversing Europe looking for Bucky. Not everyone is convinced it isn’t an open invitation road trip.

Voluntary Bros.

Characters: Steve Rogers, Johnny Storm

"Dude, you could be twins, they tested you before they defrosted you to see if you were a clone or something, or if he was a clone," Clint said.

"I want to talk to him, I think. I mean, a girl threw her latte at me last week for not calling her back and this dude felt me up at an art gallery yesterday," Steve said.

Two Brooklynites and One Big Apple

Pairings: Miles Morales & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers

“You did good out there today,” Captain America said, brushing a layer of detritus from his unfathomably broad shoulder. “I’ll see you around.”

“Not if I see you first,” replied Miles, fingergunning with one hand as he sent a web rope fwipping off into the distance with the other, catapulting himself away at tremendous speed.

... in which two superheroes battle with bad guys, embark on community art lessons, and a friendship forms along the way.

Battle Fatigue

Steve thought he was doing okay. Things weren't going great, but they were fine, manageable even, and then suddenly they weren't.

We Become New Yorkers (or: Five Times Steve Rogers Looked For Home, and One Time Home Found Him)

New York is a million cities at the same time. This is how Steve found his.

A beautiful day in the neighborhood

In which Steve and Peter learn that the best way to get through a bad situation is together. And to avoid collapsing buildings. And that concussions are terrible, terrible things.

Leviticus 25

"You want to save Bucky Barnes? You are going to have to put your own house in order first because he is going to need a rock to cling to. You are not ready to be that rock for him. You owe it to him -- and more importantly, you owe it to yourself -- to figure things out, figure out how you can be happy in this time and place, whether or not Barnes is with you."

Strike

Sometimes the road to recovery involves bowling. Conveniently, so does the one to the Grand Canyon.

Conversation in Wakanda

“I have been told that you had the privilege to share a training session with some of our Dora Milaje,” T’Challa says. “May I ask how it went?”

“Well,” the Captain huffs. “There’s no polite way to say it: I had my ass handed to me. Repeatedly.”

He sounds and looks utterly delighted.

Contact Light

Everyone thought computers would be the thing that really blew Steve's mind about the 21st century. They were wrong. When he finds out that he missed the moon landing, it's the start of an ongoing obsession with space that maybe involves Neil deGrasse Tyson, Twitter, and Star Trek marathons.

Twenty-Two

“This is Lucky,” Clint said when a dog got between him and Natasha. Lucky’s vest was bright, like desert mornings and night explosions.

“Does he help?” Natasha asked.

Clint pressed his hands flat on the counter behind him. “He saved my life.”

Natasha looked at Steve, her expression fierce. Steve resisted the urge to yank down his sleeves. Instead, he dug his nails into the puckered skin on his forearms.

AKA An AU in which Steve is a veteran just trying to survive (or not).

Gray

Peter doesn't expect Steve to show up at his house one night when he gets home from school. He also doesn't expect to have a long conversation with him, and choose to be on his side instead.

We're Happy, Free, Confused, and Lonely at the Same Time.

"Tony isn't sure, but he *thinks* Steve Rogers is going to try and argue with him about not being a kid, while wrapped up in a fluffy blanket and plaid pyjama pants watching a Disney movie. Tony really hopes that is the case. The Captain America voice looses all affect when wrapped up in that blanket and Tony can't wait to inform him as such." - The one where Tony realises that Captain America and Steve Rogers are not the same person, and Steve is so much younger then he thought.

This Isn't A Love Song, This Isn't A Fable

Steve's not OK with people's perception of Captain America, no matter what he says or how much he pretends otherwise. It's like no one in this time period realizes that there's more to him than a spangly outfit. And yes, he's including the Avengers in that. ... or, the one where everything's all right, until it's not.

it's safe here in our new world

Post TWS. In which Natasha and Steve go shopping, have Thursday night movie nights, and learn that Natasha loves to platonically kiss Steve. Which is good, because Steve loves being platonically kissed by Natasha.

Shadowboxing

Pairings: Matt Murdock & Steve Rogers

It doesn’t matter how many times you fall – what matters most is how many times you get back up. Steve Rogers knew this lesson far too well and it was one Matt Murdock had endured all his life. With both men at their lowest, could a chance friendship bring each of them to their feet again?

Everybody Eats When They Come to My House

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

“You’ll ruin your dinner,” Sam says, gesturing with Steve with his spatula.

i fear for the calendar; its days are numbered

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson

Before she goes off the grid, Natasha gives Steve her phone number. He’s honored that he’s the only one to be trusted with it, but quickly learns that she spends most of her free time texting him Dad jokes.

Status Quo Ante

Pairings: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

A tale in which Sam suspects he should be used to this by now, for values of 'this' that involve certain folks he hangs out with and situations he finds himself in, Team Cap becomes Team Ex-Cap becomes TBD, and nobody but Clint really wants to know what happened to Scott Lang's GI Joes. (Sam Wilson from the final scene to the mid-credits scene.)

The Glass Parade

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov

Steve thinks that he’s seen Natasha be at least three different people in the short time he’s known her, and he isn’t sure which one is real.

In which the most confusing part of the future is how much Steve has in common with Natasha, and the fact that she seems dead-set on being his friend.

Still Life

Steve Rogers and a very modern form of art therapy. (The one where Steve draws himself out of despair and into some notoriety when his cartoons hit the internet, but he's still not allowed to look at Tumblr without an okay from Pepper.)

Selective Service

The serum's given Steve a lot, but it hasn't taken anything away from him. Not even the things he never wanted in the first place.

I'm a Hustler, Baby

Steve Rogers has a talent for pool--and for making others believe he's terrible at it.

The Healing Properties of Felt-Tip Pens

Rapid healing has worked wonders on Steve Rogers' body, but occasionally it really screws with his head. In the aftermath of torture, Bruce Banner helps Steve to reconcile mind and body.

If I Die Before I Wake

It's his job, as their leader, to endure the sadistic focus of their captor, and that is the one thought that carries Steve through.

Even Gods Do

Captain America doesn't have a good relationship with sleep anymore. Also, he's not a toy.

Under My Skin

Written for a prompt on avengerkink: I want to see something where, for whatever reason, Steve's accelerated healing turns out to be a bad thing. Something where the faster healing is making things worse. I would prefer something other than the standard, super-healing allows for more torture without death. “He's lucky – to have the serum, to have you all.” Tony wasn't sure about that first part. When one faced death and destruction every day on the job, there were many advantages to having a healing factor...and a great many disadvantages as well.

A Glossary of the 21st Century

Pairings: pre-Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov

Steve's sick of not understanding what's going on, and the team are not all that helpful, so he starts keeping an illustrated notebook for further research. With the help of wiki, google and Logan he starts to settle in and find his place in the twenty-first century.

Blanket Gift Policy

“You didn’t,” Bucky said, with no real hope of being contradicted. Clint shrugged helplessly and passed him the large, soft bundle wrapped in shiny purple foil.

“Sorry.” Tony covered his eyes with one hand.

“I’m getting a migraine.”

“So,” Bruce said wearily, “counting Clint, me, Bucky, Tony, and Sam, that brings it up to five.”

“Excuse you, mine’s not a blanket,” Sam said. “Mine’s a slanket. Big difference.”

Bucky resisted the urge to throw the whole heap of parcels at Sam’s head. “Because it has sleeves? It’s still a blanket, Wilson. They’re all blankets. Even Thor’s direct-from-Asgard raven gift delivery was a cloak, which just means it’s a blanket with a strap. We all got Steve a goddamn blanket.”

One Tin Soldier

Written for a prompt at avengerkink: Because really, under any other circumstances, why would they follow him when he's some guy who's younger than the rest of them (time as a Capsicle aside), who goes around wearing that spangly outfit, who's not even used to the modern world? Why Steve Rogers, rather than a Norse god or the CEO of Stark Industries or anyone else?

“Love is for children,” she'd said, but respect knew no such bounds. The five times the Avengers accepted Steve as their leader, and the one time they followed without question.

and if there's life we'll see it

Steve is instantly taken with this idea of having the picture of the person calling you flash on your screen when they ring your cell.

Secure Your Own Oxygen Mask (Before Assisting Others)

Steve keeps going, because they need him. Being Captain America - having the serum - is a responsibility and a privilege he takes seriously, and he won't waste it by sitting around resting in the middle of a crisis. But then the work is over, and the original victims of the crisis aren't the only ones needing looking after.

Way of the Eagle

Clint introduces Steve to kung-fu movies. Things escalate quickly.

Walking Wounded

In the aftermath of the battle against the Chitauri, Steve's doing just fine. Until he's not. Fortunately, Thor is a perfect mother-hen, Tony makes decent back-up, JARVIS is a genius, and Soap Operas are life-changing. (Or, Post-Shawarma Feels.)

#steve rogers #fic rec #pro steve rogers #i guess i'll tag the ships #samsteve #thundershield

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jalapeno-princess · 4 years

Text

Back to You

Mark Tuan X Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Exes to lovers

Warnings: insecurities, self doubt

Summary: You had broken up with Mark over four months ago for reasons still unknown to him and as much as he tries to move on, he knows there’s just no getting over you.

Word Count: 4.2k

“You have halo? Cool! I love halo.” Mark hummed softly in response as he motioned for the younger girl to sit down.

“Would you like to play for a little bit? I actually haven’t touched that game in months. I’ll go find us something to snack on while you get it set up.” She beamed up at him while he made his way towards the kitchen.

He began to search through his cupboard for some ramen when he heard his name being called. “Everything okay?” When Mark saw the look of curiosity on her face, he grew confused until he looked at the tv.

“Whose princess? Is it okay if I use her profile? Or should I use yours?” Mark felt his stomach drop. There was a reason why he hadn’t played that game in a while and there it was, like a slap in the face by reality that you were no longer in his life. The two of you broke up over four months ago and as much as he wanted to say the break up was mutual, it was you who decided that you both should go your separate ways. Although it’s been a while and he knew he should’ve been moved on by now, he was still so madly in love with you and holding on to a tiny bit of hope that you would find your way back to him one day.

“Oh, um—you can play on mine.” Alyssa was a very sweet girl. Mark’s friends were tired of him moping around and staying home all the time because he didn’t have the energy nor motivation to go out since you left; so Jinyoung forced him to go on a date and set him up with one of his coworkers. As much as Mark didn’t feel like getting in to a relationship just yet, he felt as if this was the only way he could get over you completely; even if God knows he never wanted to. Ever.

This was the third date they have been on since they were introduced to each other almost a month ago and honestly Mark wasn’t feeling it. She was smart; graduated from college with her bachelor’s degree in political science. She was also very soft spoken and kind, always asked Mark how his day was and gave him her full attention whenever he spoke—if he ever spoke. No matter how nice she was and how obvious she made it that she was developing feelings for him, she wasn’t you.

Nobody could ever take your place in Mark’s life. He was sure of it. Nobody could fill the hole in his chest or patch up his broken heart that you caused when you left him. His mind was now clouded with thoughts of you as he started to cook the ramen and he could feel himself tearing up.

When Mark felt that the bed was now more vacant, and your side of the bed was cold, he stifled back a yawn and took a few moments to wake his body up before making the journey to find you. It was currently 3:15 in the morning and he couldn’t help but feel as if something was wrong. You would never wake up in the wee hours of the morning unless it was to pee or if you got hungry, but you would always bring the food back to bed, so where could you have gone?

Right as he walked out of your shared bedroom, it was then as he heard the sound of guns being shot and cries of aliens that he knew you were playing halo. The newest installment of your favorite video game had just been released and you have been hinting to Mark for weeks that you wanted it for your birthday to which he would laugh at your subtleness.

When he surprised you with the game on top of your own controller and a headset that he knew you’d only use because you wanted to “look like a gamer” and not actually talk to others through it like he did, you were over the moon and you showed him how grateful you were on your knees the rest of that night.

Since you were busy with both work and school, you never had much time to play the game until you got home and even then, you were exhausted to say the least and never had enough energy to even eat; so the game went untouched for a few days. You woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to go back to sleep, even if the tight grip on your waist was quite comforting; so you made your way in to the living room and wrapped yourself in to a blanket burrito while quietly turning on the game. Mark giggled softly to himself when he saw how focused you were on the game and how adorable you looked squished between all the pillows.

“Babe.”

You didn’t notice your boyfriend at the edge of the couch until he tapped on your knee to get your attention. “Hey love, sorry did I wake you?” He shook his head and motioned for you to sit up so that he could sit down and immediately pulled you on to his lap, wrapping his arms around your waist protectively.

“Your absence is what got me up. I can’t sleep without you. You seem to be having fun though, how long have you been up for?” He propped his chin on your shoulder and you found yourself leaning back in to his embrace. You turned to steal a chaste kiss from the corner of his lips before returning to your game.

“Almost three hours. Once I finish a level I end up starting the next one and I can’t stop. This current level is so frustrating though, if you run out of ammo, you have to run out on the field and find more on your own. How am I supposed to protect myself and look for another weapon without getting killed—“ you were quick to smile in the kiss when Mark turned you around to face him and crashed his lips against yours.

“Couldn’t help myself. You’re so adorable you know that? Tell me more.” You continued to explain everything you’ve done so far, from killing hundreds of aliens to completing missions whilst aboard stolen planes. You were so into describing the game that you failed to notice how Mark was looking at you with so much love and adoration in his eyes. He looked at you as if you were the creator of the universe. As if you were the one who set all the stars, the sun and the moon in to the sky. Your boyfriend didn’t think it was possible for someone to make slaughtering aliens sound so cute.

You asked Mark if he wanted to head back to sleep but he was quick to disagree and held you tighter against his body. As you continued to play the game, you started to absentmindedly grind against Mark’s lap causing him to quickly grow aroused at the sensation. When you felt his hard on graze against your ass, your cheeks warmed up. “Y/n, maybe it’s time for us to go back to bed.” The raspiness in his voice sent chills down your spine and you knew exactly what he had in mind. You decided to mess with him even if you knew what his plans were once you were to head back to the room.

“Tired?”

“No. The complete opposite actually. I’m wide awake, and so is little Mark. Since you’re the one to cause the problem in my pants, I believe you should be the one to fix it. Now let’s go.”

The memory was all too much for him to take in. He made love to you for the rest of that morning until he had to get ready for work. If he knew that was going to be one of the last times he got to love on your body, he would’ve called in sick and taken his time with you. He would’ve kissed you longer, map your body with all of his love bites and held you just a little tighter so that you wouldn’t have been able to leave him.

The timer sounding off stopped him from drowning himself in self pity and he finished putting the ramen in to bowls before making his way back in to the living room. Alyssa had all her attention on the tv screen in front of her but paused the game when she saw Mark placing the bowls down on the coffee table. She quietly thanked him and began to eat her food.

Both her and Mark sat in silence, but the atmosphere was extremely awkward with neither of them knowing what to say. Mark felt bad, he knew he was the cause of the tension between the two of them, but he just didn’t feel like this was right. How could he put effort in to something he wanted no part in? Once they were both done eating, he took their bowls and set them down in the sink while releasing an exhausted sigh. He decided that he wanted to go to sleep and used that as excuse to get Alyssa out of his apartment.

When he returned back to the living room, he saw her reaching out to his dog Milo, but the cute little pup had already taken a disliking to the poor girl. Milo wasn’t one to like people all that easily, so if he showed attention to anyone other than Mark, that just proved the puppy liked you. Other than Mark, Milo loved you. You were good with giving him baths once a week, you’d pick up after him, you’d feed him treats when Mark wasn’t home and you’d always play fetch with him. Sometimes Mark would find himself getting jealous that Milo seemed to like you just a bit more, but it was also very cute.

With that being said, Milo seemed to have had a hard time accepting your absence once you moved out. He was no longer as active, wasn’t as quick to come whenever Mark called and he no longer ate all of his food that Mark put out for him. He still had a hard time understanding why you left, but he was never one to pry things out of you. If you had something on your mind, he would wait for you to tell him willingly.

“He’s so cute! What’s his name?” Mark shrugged.

“Milo.” She tried to play fetch with him but Milo payed her no mind before returning back to the room.

“Hey Alyssa, I um—I actually have to get up early tomorrow so is it okay to end things here tonight? I’m sorry about that—I’ll take you home—“ she shook her head politely while standing up and gathering her things.

“It’s alright, I can catch a taxi. Don’t worry about me. Thank you for having me over.” He gave her a sad smile before walking her over to the door.

“Oh—before I go, I um—I think you should talk to her.” Mark looked up at her in curiosity but right as he was going to ask her who she was talking about, she continued. “Jinyoung told me about your ex-girlfriend. I didn’t think much about it at first, but you seemed so distant, so out of it on our last two dates and I knew there was a reason someone as attractive and kind-hearted as you was single. It’s because your heart is still taken. Either you’re still in love with her, or you’re just not interested in me. But you should try, you never know what the outcome could be. For all you know, she’s still in love with you too. Have a nice night Mark. Take care.”

She pulled him in to a quick hug and went on her way. Her perfume was sweet and a bit too strong for his liking. You were never one to wear perfume. If anything, you preferred the scent of your laundry detergent; fresh linen always smelt good to you and Mark ended up liking the scent because it always reminded him of you. Right after your breakup, he had to change his laundry soap because it would always bring him to tears.

Mark made his way to the room and plopped down on the bed; shoving his face in to the pillow and released a frustrated grunt. The first week after you completely took out all of your things, Mark found himself sleeping on the couch. There was no way he’d be able to sleep on the bed without you in his arms. Matter a fact, he only started to sleep in his room again just two weeks ago. Milo even joined him on the bed and Mark was very grateful he had the cute little dog to be there for him or he was sure he’d go insane. He got up and went to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. Then he took off his shirt and changed in to a pair of sweats before making his way back in to the living room to turn off the tv.

As he reached for the game console and was about to turn off the tv, he saw a green dot in the corner of his eye, signaling that you were currently online. His heart rate started to increase and he felt a single tear fall on his cheek. He hasn’t seen you since your last night together and seeing that you were currently playing a game made him smile to himself. He decided to play for a few minutes and it took every bone in his body not to send you a game request.

Ten minutes after he started the game, he got a notification that you sent a message. He felt as if his heart was going to combust out of his chest and his finger began to circle over the button. A huge part of him wanted to see what you had to say. His heart was practically pleading with him to open it but his mind was afraid that you said something he didn’t want to hear. Going with the commands of his heart, he opened the message and released the breath he didn’t even know he was holding.

Tiger-lily: Hey. It’s been a while. Are you busy? 10:26 p.m.

Mark smiled like an idiot to himself before waiting a few minutes to respond, not wanting to seem too forward or too eager even if he was extremely excited. He could only hope this meant good things.

Morkus: Never too busy for you. What’s up? Are you okay? 10:30 p.m.

Tiger-lily: I think I made a mistake. I know that it’s late, but can I come over? 10:32 p.m.

He bit down on his bottom lip to prevent himself from screaming. Were you referring to breaking up with him? Did you regret leaving? Were you regretting these last four months of being away from him? What was the mistake that you made? He could only pray something good was about to happen.

Morkus: Yeah sure. Need me to come get you? 10:33 p.m.

Tiger-lily: No. I should be fine. I’ll see you in a few. 10:35 p.m.

Mark quickly got up from off the couch and turned off the tv while looking around to make sure the place looked spotless. He couldn’t believe you were on your way to his apartment nor could he process the idea of you regretting the breakup. He knew he shouldn’t have been getting his hopes up, but his heart felt so full. When he saw Milo slowly treading in to the living room, he picked him up and began kissing him all around his face.

“Mommy’s coming home Milo. Let’s get you cleaned up. She’s going to know I’ve been a mess without her just by the fact that you wreak.” As he began to give Milo a bath, he heard a soft knock on the door and he had to calm himself down before opening it. His mind was full of so many thoughts and questions he wanted to ask you, but he didn’t want to ruin things before they could even start. Once he laid his eyes on you, it’s like he fell in love with you all over again. Has it really been four months since he last saw you? Since he last held you and kissed you? Since he last got to hold your dainty little hand in his and professed his love for you both to the world and amongst yourselves?

“Hi.”

“Hey.” He gave you a soft smile and offered for you to come inside.

“Can I get you something to eat or drink? You look very good by the way. Well, I mean—you always look good. Even when you wear a old, raggedy shirt of mine with your hair in a bun honestly I think that’s when you look the prettiest—I should stop talking I’m sorry. Let me go get Milo from out of the sink.” He grinned when he saw the small smile rise upon your face before heading back in to the bathroom. After drying Milo off with a towel and placing him on the ground, he gave himself a few seconds to come to his senses. Even after all this time, you still had quite the effect on him and only you were able to turn him in to a stuttering and clumsy mess.

His heart warmed when he saw Milo in your hands, licking at your face in excitement. He missed this. Missed you. It was all so natural for you to be in his environment again. It’s as if you never left in the first place. He took in your appearance and frowned when he saw the bags under your eyes and how much weight you lost. Although there were so many questions on the tip of his tongue, he was going to let you take the lead in how things were going to go. The two of you sat in silence for a few minutes, attempting to get used to the other’s presence. Finally, after what felt like forever, you spoke up.

“I’m sorry.” He looked at you in confusion, not understanding where you were coming from and waited for you to continue. “Like I said earlier, I made a mistake. These last few months without you have been hell. I was going through some shit at the time and I didn’t want to bring you down with me. I needed to learn to love myself before I could allow you to continue loving me. I know it was selfish of me and I genuinely felt like you deserved better, so that’s why I left. And I lied, I didn’t leave because I was no longer happy in this relationship. I’m happiest when I’m with you.”

You took in a deep breath before continuing your rant. Seeing Mark look so small, so fragile and knowing that you were the reason made you feel terrible. He was the most amazing boyfriend and took such great care of you. He never failed to make you smile and you were sure his laugh was the most beautiful sound you have ever heard. How could you break his heart when he was the only person who has ever meant anything to you?

“I’ve been so lost without you. Learning to live without you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Every time something went wrong in my life, I wanted so badly to run to you and cry in to your arms. But I felt so stupid, I’m the one who put us in this situation; I had no right to feel sorry for myself. Not a day went by where I didn’t think about you. I wanted to call you, text you and I even found myself outside of the apartment wanting to come in and apologize for all the pain I’ve caused you. I’m sorry it took so long. I was cleaning out my closet earlier when I stumbled upon the letter you wrote me for our third anniversary and I kept replaying the last few words in my mind over and over again the entire day. “I love you y/n and I plan to love you for the rest of my life. No matter what happens, it’s always going to be you.” I cried like a baby for hours and I finally came to the conclusion that I don’t want to be without you anymore. I overheard Youngjae and Yugyeom talking about a girl and how you’re dating again, so I understand if I’m too late, I just needed you to know that I’m still so madly in love with you and I’d do anything to be yours again.”

You took his silence as a bad sign and began to pick at your nails in nervousness, a habit Mark noticed that you would do whenever you were worried. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t upset to hear that you broke up with him because you felt you weren’t enough for him and because you were dealing with some battles on your own but he couldn’t blame you. You were always so independent, you were never one to tell anybody your problems even if Mark would tell you countless times that he was always there for you whenever you needed him. His heart hurt for you and he hated that he didn’t see the signs before.

“Baby.” Hearing him call you the term of endearment sent a warm feeling to your chest and before you knew it, his lips were smashing against yours. You deepened the kiss and wrapped your arms up around his neck. His lips were soft and tasted like kimchee and you had to stifle back a laugh. Mark was notorious for eating ramen. You were surprised he’s never gotten tired of it seeing as how that is all he ever eats. He licked your bottom lip before bringing it in to his mouth playfully. The two of you made out for quite some time, neither of you being able to pull away because it’s been so long. Back when the two of you first started dating, you and Mark were constantly kissing each other. Whether it was a quick peck goodbye as one of you left for work, or a rough, passionate make out session after a heated argument, you could never go a day without connecting your lips with his. To Mark’s dismay, you broke the kiss in order to catch your breath and placed your forehead against his.

“I’ve missed you.” You giggled softly before placing a sloppy kiss on his jaw.

“I’ve missed you too. God, you don’t understand just how much Mark.” He reached for your fingers and began to play with them while bringing them up to his lips in order to gently kiss your fingertips.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were suffering y/n? I would’ve been there for you. I should’ve been there for you. That’s what I’m here for. I’m your boyfriend. You’re supposed to lean on me whenever life gets too hard. You should’ve let me help you carry the burden, not go through that all by yourself. If I knew that was the reason why you left, I wouldn’t have let you go in the first place. Don’t you dare for one second think you’re not good enough for me. I meant it every single time I said it. You’re perfect baby. You’re all I want in this lifetime and the next. God, I don’t know what I did to deserve you here right now but I’ll do it time and time again if it means you’ll stay. I love you so much y/n. Promise me baby, if there ever comes a time where you are going through a rough patch, you will tell me. Please. I can’t lose you again. The pain is too much to handle.”

He reached for your hand and brought it up to his chest so that you could feel how quickly it was beating. “This pathetic thing I call my heart, or whatever is left of it, whatever you didn’t take with you when you broke up with me, it’s yours. You have all of me y/n. Forever. I’m yours forever.” The tears were hot as they fell down your face causing you to reconnect your lips together once more. Mark stood up and brought you with him, wrapping your legs around his hips and placed his hands on your ass, guiding you both towards the bedroom.

“Mark what are you going to do—“

“You. All night.” You gave him a knowing look and let out a soft moan when he slapped one of your ass cheeks. “I haven’t busted a nut in over four months y/n, I think we need to make up for lost time.”

He threw you all but gently on the bed before attacking your face with sloppy kisses. “Mmm—Mark!”

“Just like that baby. I love hearing my name fall from your pretty lips. I love you so much y/n. Thank you for coming back to me.”

#got7 imagines #got7 #got7 mark #mark tuan #mark tuan got7 #mark tuan fluff #mark tuan angst #got7 drabbles

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kingneptunesthinninghead · 3 years

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In your opinion, which fast food place has the best fries? i love me some mcdonald’s fries.

Are there hurricanes where you live? they happen every once in a while

What do you hate the most about yourself? I'd really rather not get into this right about now. same

What song are you listening to right now? nothing but catch fire by 5sos is stuck in my head.

What was your first concert? brad paisley 🤠.

What’s your favorite Johnny Depp movie? willy wonka and the chocolate factory

Who did you last say “I love you” to? My sister. probably same

Do you like pumpkin pie? it’s about the only pie i DO like.

Do you know anyone named Austin? no one i like

Do you know anyone who is having a baby? my friend just gave birth to a baby about a week ago

What was the last thing you cried about? i cried in the car on the way home from work last night while listening to jet black heart lmaooo.

Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? i dont drink milk.

Do you think you are an argumentative person? Definitely not. agreed, i’m conflict avoidant to a fault

How many deep dark secrets do you have? i dont think i have any

What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? the hot wings from bonchon were pretty f’n spicy

Who last called you sexy? i dont remember

Would you class yourself as a good role model? i think for the most part

Are you scared of the dark? sometimes i am

Do you have a motto? nah.

Who did you last see on webcam? my club committee from school

Do you need a haircut? i just got one about a month ago so not atm

How would you react if your mother told you that she was pregnant again? that would be impossible considering she’s in menopause and has her tubes tied

You log into Facebook and see the red ‘1’ notification next to the message icon. Who do you want it to be? no one i hate facebook

Would you rather exercise alone or with other people? most of the time alone but sometimes i’ll exercise with my sister or in a structured workout class

What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played? any bc i suck at video games

Ever watch the show Supernatural? nope

Ever heard of flavored honey? If so, what’s you’re favorite flavor? i’ve heard of it but never tried it

Do you remember what your favorite show was when you were little? i went thru hardcore icarly and victorious phases, also LOVED spongebob

Do you put anything besides cheese on grilled cheese sandwiches? sometimes i’ll do bacon on mine

When it comes to books, what do you think is the “perfect” amount of pages? the length of a book has never deterred me from reading it, ever.

Would you ever be interested in going scuba diving? maybe

Out of all of your friends/relatives, who would you say has the best vocabulary? not to toot my own horn but me

Are any of your fingers or toes deformed? What about the nails? no

When is the last time you cried? didnt i already answer this

Would you ever date somebody that has been divorced more than once? mm prob not

What are some stereotypically nerdy things that you like? i guess marvel and space would count

Have you ever attended a wedding that ended where the bride and groom didn’t actually get married? What happened? no but i’ve attended several weddings of people who have quickly divorced

What scares you the most about becoming a mother (hypothetically, if you don’t want to have children)? raising them to be a good well adjusted person.

Would you ever want a job in fashion? What would you enjoy about that type of job? prob not

Would you ever be a surrogate mother? nope

What do you think would be the best and worst parts about being a twin? i would love having that strong of a bond with someone and having someone to go thru life with but i would also feel like i never had anything that was truly mine esp in early childhood

Do you feel that your childhood was more rough compared to others around you? my childhood was great compared to a lot of peoples and i’m extremely thankful for that

How would you react if you found out today that you were actually adopted? i would feel betrayed that i’d lied to for 20 years

Have either of your parents ever cheated on one another before, that you know of? How would you react if you found out today that one of them cheated? not that i know of and again i would feel crushed and betrayed

Do you like cleaning and organizing? when i’m in the mood for it

How would you react if you found out you were infertile? If you don’t plan on having kids to begin with, what is a long-term goal you’d be crushed to find out was impossible to achieve? i would definitely be upset bc i want to have at least one biological kid but in the end i would find just as much joy from adopting a child and giving them a loving home.

Would you take your dream job if it were out of the country? it depends on what other factors are in my life at the time

Have you ever been robbed? no

Is anyone close to you an alcoholic? my friend at college and that’s not even a joke that’s genuine. i think he’s getting the help he needs tho which is good

Have you ever dumped anyone? no

What kind of tea do you drink? I hate tea. same it tastes like dish water

Do you know anyone in a gang? No, and I hope I never do. same

What’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you? omg i still remember this bc i was blown away by how sweet it was. so in 9th grade i had one friend in my pe class and idek how we started talking but we just stuck by each other bc we didn’t have anyone else and we sat at our own table right by the teacher’s desk in health class and we actually became pretty close friends throughout the year well anyway i mentioned my birthday was coming up and she asked me what i wanted and i was like no you don’t have to and she was like do you want flowers and i was like sure why not and i didn’t think she was gonna actually do it but then on my birthday she shows up to health class with these beautiful purple flowers and i was so shocked that she actually got them for me so yeah i’ve never forgotten that ever. she moved away after that year and i never saw her again but i hope she’s doing well

What is your orientation? Gay? Straight? Metrosexual? straight but i have questioned before.

Have you ever done anything really dangerous or illegal with friends? nothing too wild

Name three feelings you’re feeling right now: bored, content, excited

And the reasons for these feelings? bored bc i’m at work, content bc i like the way my life is going rn, excited bc i get to go back to school and see all my college friends soon.

How do you feel about your life right now? pretty pleased at the moment

Is it easy for you to like yourself? Why or why not? no. it’s a conscious choice to like yourself that you have to make everyday and some days that choice is easier to make than others

What subjects come naturally to you? English, some aspects of science. agree with this, i’m very good at english and i understand some science

What subjects do not? MATH

Do you read more fiction or more non-fiction books? fiction but sometimes i like a good non fiction book.

How has today been for you? pretty good nothing too exciting

What did you do? watched tv and went to work

Are there any candles lit in the room you’re in? no

Are there any lava lamps near you? nope.

Do you like cats or dogs better? Cats. agree i have 4

Are any of your friends a pothead? yes, several

What’s a goal you’re trying to accomplish soon? start working out consistently again and get into therapy.

Are you a high maintenance person? nope

The last time you yelled as loud as you could, what was the reason? i was at a karaoke night

Have you ever been heartbroken? yep

Who did that to you? my ex crush

Did you go through an ugly stage as a kid? ohhhh yeah

The last type of sandwich you made or ate: a ham and cheese sandwich with pepperoni and mayo

The last time you spent most of the day in bed: when i was at school and i had stayed up until 6am the night before.

The last friend or acquaintance you made: my coworker

The last thing you took pictures of: a rainbow

The last time you were scared: when i thought a car was following me the other night

The last thing you looked up online: manic panic hair dye.

The last thing you disagreed with: i don’t remember.

Does your house have a separate laundry room? yep

Do your parents still help you financially? yes, a lot

Does your car have a backup camera? nope.

Have either of your parents ever been in trouble with the law? not to where they’ve been arrested

Have you ever had a pet that lived to be really old for its breed/species? my childhood cat lived to be 18 which was pretty impressive.

What was the last strong scent you smelled? my cat’s fart

Have you ever told someone to their face that they were ugly? no way

Is your bed against more than one of your walls? nope

Have you ever been attracted to someone’s parent? um yes some people i know have dilfs i’m sorry

Have you ever pole danced before? no

Have you ever broken into someone’s house? no.

Have you ever seen a live bat? yup at a beach house in the obx

What is the most amount of money you’ve spent on a meal before? i bought bonchon for my friends and i one time which was just about $100

Have you ever taken a woodshop class? no

How much time do you spend on Facebook, if you have one? as little time as possible.

Has a teacher ever made you hate yourself/your work? i had one math teacher in high school that consistently made me feel dumb bc i needed extra help to understand the concepts and couldn’t do mental math that fast so didnt like her

Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? closest i’ve been was second row

Are your parents supportive of you? yep

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regrettablewritings · 4 years

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Podcasts, Youtubes, and TV Shows to Distract Yourself With Because Why Not, and Also Because I Wanna Blab About Some of These

Since I can’t go to work and horrify my coworkers/make them realize I’m a mess and/or nerd by telling them about the type of media I’m into, I’m foisting my recommendations on all of y’all who choose to read this. I frankly do not care how many people have actually heard of these things because I’m also sure there’s plenty of people who, like me, are very slow and oblivious to entertainment, or who have heard of the property but were never that convinced.

Kipo and the Age of the Wonderbeasts

Type: TV series

200 years after a mysterious yet earth-shattering event, much of humanity has taken to living beneath the surface in communities called burrows, wherein life goes on, if effected somewhat by the bizarre fauna that exists above them (referred to as “mutes”, short for “mutant”). One burrow girl, Kipo, founds her world turned almost literally inside-out when she finds herself not only separated from her father and the only world she’s ever known, but on the surface, no less. What ensues is her trying to find her way back home with the help of a stony-faced little girl with a massive chip on her shoulder; a music enthusiast and his literal gadfly friend; and some . . . unusual allies that only an oblivious optimist like Kipo could make. All to a kickass soundtrack, a beautiful backdrop of art, and a world where animals have basically evolved into gangs under a looming threat known as Scarlemagne. If you can’t already tell, I love this series to bits and now is the perfect time for people to get into it and encourage another season of it. Just . . . don’t think too hard that whatever happened to cause the Event in the show happened in October 2020 . . .

Available on: Netflix

My Dad Wrote a Porno

Type: Podcast

This should go without saying, but this podcast is definitely meant for more mature audiences. Or somebody with a strong stomach. Not that it’ll always be easy to tell with the type of content this series gives. When Jamie Morton’s father handed him his manuscripts for his self-published books, he had no idea he was being given a pinnacle of a polished turd: It was erotica. Really, really, really bad erotica. But the ear’s trash is the heart’s pleasure with this bad girl, as Jamie enlists the company of friends Alice and James to provide commentary on “Rocky Flintstone”’s series Belinda Blinked, a drama chronicling the sexcapades of Belinda Blumenthal as she climbs the ladders (and men and women) both in and out of the cut-throat world of pots and pans sales. What follows is a goldmine of awkward metaphors, strange bedmates, and just an overall stampede of whiplashing events that somehow exceed expectations. Listen in if you dare . . . And make sure you’re in good company for it. Fun Fact, though: Daisy Ridley, Ben Barnes, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Michael Sheen, Mara Wilson, Elijah Wood are but a few well-known fans of this series! Nobody is safe . . .

Available on: Wherever podcasts can be found

Lore

Type: Podcast

Sometimes, truth is stranger than fiction. And what better way to be reminded of that, then to have the dulcet tones of Aaron Mahnke tell you about the lighthouse incident that the 2016 movie The Lighthouse was loosely inspired by? Suffice to say, this podcast could also be interpreted with some advised discretion, but definitely in a way that’s different from My Dad Wrote a Porno. In the centuries humankind has existed, we’ve managed to create a menagerie of beasts, both fictional and in ourselves. Lore explores all the many different kinds of events and persons and creatures we have to offer. In any given episode, we could be talking about anything from the bizarre story of a lady who convinced 18th century physicians that she was giving birth to rabbits, to something more disturbing like the life of H.H. Holmes. Or something as relatively innocuous as the relationship between gremlins and flight. Regardless of the subject, however, you’ll definitely walk away knowing something new, if bizarre. And perhaps slightly terrifying.

Available on: Wherever podcasts can be found

The Amelia Project

Type: Podcast

Congratulations: You have been made aware of The Amelia Project. If you’re not interested in this, exit the page. Now. If you continue, there’s no unhearing it. Good choice! A new interest awaits. If you don’t enjoy it, please consider the whole thing a hoax. Okay but in all seriousness, there’s no way to do The Amelia Project justice in just a simple description. The plot sounds quite simple, really: People want to disappear and start a new life, The Amelia Project is there to help – with a price. And that’s if you can actually get a hold of them! What really makes the show, however, are the people and the writing, and I’m not just talking about the almost childlike Interviewer with an obsession for hot cocoa. I’m talking about the clientele: I’m talking about the macabre-obsessed theme park owner who’s out for revenge; the cult leader who’s in way over his head; a Santa impersonator stuck in a miserable marriage with his own manager; an actual podcast character trying to outrun his creators. And obviously this would all be nowhere without the spectacular writing! I really can explain this series without blabbing on and potentially spoiling things; The Amelia Project is an experience!

Available on: Wherever podcasts can be found

LegalEagle

Type: Youtube channel

To be frank, I just like learning for the sake of learning, even if I may not always necessarily understand the topic or have any plans to use it in the foreseeable future. The big difference here being that at least this channel makes learning about the law fun and breaks it down. Headed by a certified lawyer (because what an age we live in, where professionals actually take time out of their lives to teach us common folk), there’s a multitude of series D.J. Stone uses to help break down the complex world of law, from reviewing the realism of procedural favorites (Law & Order, The Good Wife, HTGAWM, etc), to analyzing real-life situations, to even watching childhood media that has nothing to do with the law and determining how much money, say, Willy Wonka would owe in a lawsuit. In short, it is one of my worst subjects done in one of my favorite ways to learn! Plus, Stone hates business students and is perfectly willing to poke fun at law students so it’s all fun, frankly.

Available on: Youtube

Nando v Movies

Type: Youtube channel

Sometimes, movies are bad. Sometimes, they’re good. And sometimes, they could use a few adjustments in hindsight. Especially the nerdier movies where the directors may or may not have tried way too hard or way too little. And that’s where Nando comes in: Whether it’s explaining why a different villain might have worked better for a hero’s origin story movie, or analyzing how one seemingly small adjustment could’ve potentially made more sense in explaining characterization, this channel is always providing a new perspective on a movie or show you’ve probably seen and maybe weren’t necessarily too pleased with. (Or maybe you were – I enjoyed Justice League okay but I love the version he rewrote more.) Oh, yeah: Sometimes he does rewrites of movies or even series. So if you’re anything like me and you’re way into that, this is a channel you don’t want to miss out on.

Available on: Youtube

DEATH BATTLE!

Type: Youtube channel

Does anyone remember Deadliest Warrior? No? . . . How about that one time during lunch where you and your friend got into it over who would win in a death match between Superman and Goku? Good news: A buncha geeks did the math for you and have come out with the results! Specifically, hosts Wiz and Boomstick have analyzed the weapons, armor, and skills of each combatant in every episode, resulting in an ongoing series of absolute nonsense and satiation of bloodshed. The description is admittedly nothing crazy, but the amount of detail applied is honestly where it’s at: From calculating how loud Black Canary’s screams are to approximating Scrooge McDuck’s speed (I’m not kidding you), there’s actual thought put into the characters being assembled and how they might fair with their respective combatant. And it all comes together for an actual fight, often animated but always amazing. So if you’ve ever wondered if Thor could beat Wonder Woman, or if McGruff the Crime Dog stands a chance against Smokey the Bear (I’m…I’m being honest), then this is the show for you!

Available on: Youtube

Sideways

Type: Youtube channel

If there is music in that movie or show, it will be analyzed to a degree that, unless you’ve been trained in music, you would’ve probably never thought about. There isn’t necessarily much rhyme or reason to Sideways’ videos in terms of themes beyond music, but really, must they? Is it not enough that this man is screaming to the internet these wack and awesome trends he’s noticed in certain pieces associated with movies and musicals and the genius behind them? Could life not just be him explaining the symbolism of the instruments associated with the Crystal Gems of Steven Universe, or breaking down the cultures explored by way of the Black Panther soundtrack? Also, here’s a fun drinking game: Take a shot every time he mentions leitmotifs or the Dies Irae.

Available on: Youtube

Craig of the Creek

Type: TV show

In the woods of suburban Maryland, there exists a kid’s utopia: A place where horse girls are free to roam the fields, where a boy can be a king of garbage, and where children travel the sewers completely unsupervised. That is, until the dinner horn rings; then they have to go home until the next time they can return to The Creek. The show focuses on one specific trio (Craig, JP, and Kelsey) as every day, The Creek (and their own childish naivete) brings them new hijinks to experience. There’s a blissful lightheartedness to the show, in addition to a lot of creativity that feels like it was ripped straight out of your own imagination as a child (robots made from cardboard boxes, building portals using lights, etc). But beneath it all, there’s something just plain wild brewing. I don’t want to spoil anything, but CotC has some G-rated GOT shit going on the further along the series goes and I can’t wait to see how it all unfolds!

Available on: CN app, wcostream.com

And that’s probably enough for now, I think. Lemme know if you want any other suggestions, or how you’re findin’ ‘em if you take any of them up! Stay safe, stay healthy my dudes!

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helpinghanikan · 6 years

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Pet or guilt trip, your choice

Avengers (and Matt Murdock) x reader

Sum: no home is complete without a pet, or second best

Steve Rogers:

After the first attack on New York gifts and presents started pilling in the lobby. For every member of the team at that point, even the ones who the public didn’t know the name of. Flowers, candy, clothes, jewelry, and sometimes straight up cash. Most were donated (save for the drawings, and that one necklace Nat was not going to let go of), and among those gifts were Lady.

She was a little golden retriever puppy, pink bow around her neck. Security guard (a wall of a man) was cooing over her when you had walked in.

Accepting her on Steve’s behalf she fit snuggly in the crook of one arm. The other holding the files. Help from fellow employees pressed elevator buttons and open doors kept Lady from touching the floor.

You sat Lady down after seeing him in your office. Opening the door and nudging her inside with the toe of your pump. She goes right for the next available source of attention in the room, Steve kneeling to her level. She whines and goes for his face, tiny paws trying to get traction on his shirt collar and get to more of his face.

“Careful of Cujo there,” You say, papers on the desk.

“I don’t- okay, later.” Another movie added to the list. “Who is this?”

“Our child,” You said, an arsenal of guilt ready to be used.

Tony Stark:

You’d need more hands to count how many times you’ve tried to get a pet. Tony has dodged every attempt with legit reason; cats knock things over, dogs are a lot of work and messy, birds? No, just no.

This helped create the “Stark adoption day”, your personal project. Part passion project, part proof that you are more than just some trophy on Tony’s arm. Working with any shelter that will have you (which was a good majority) and setting up the meet and greet with dogs, cats and everything else in the park. Unsurprisingly it was maybe an hour before people started asking about Tony.

It was a little deflating that people were more concerned about Tony than the animals. This was why you had gotten to Tony before he made his entrance. Making sure he’s not wearing anything that he wouldn’t want ruined.

Adoption rates went through the roof. Hand picking the oldest, least desirable pets and putting them on the for-front. Tony holding a single eyed orange cat was still being cycled around, another where you had stolen his sunglasses for a brief moment and placed them on the bridge of an old saint-bernard. Both of them were adopted within the hour on that day.

Thor:

Thor had a horse, Thor had a big fucking horse.

“What’cha got there?” A lame question with an obvious answer.

He had this confidence that everyone should envy. Even when he doesn’t know where or what’s going on, he is still so sure. Just like now, holding black reins of this dun horse, tail black, mane matching.

“Gail,” A simple name that he probably didn’t pick out. “She’s from the neighbors,” Neighbors who were over two miles away. “Come, come here.”

His hand lays over yours, guiding you to stroke her neck.

Whether you had experience with horses or not it didn’t matter. Gail was Thor’s girl. A free ranged horse that wondered your property, coming into her little barn when the weather is less than pleasant.

Thor gets this look on his face when brushing Gail. Every bit of stress, every forced laugh and smile is gone when he mounts her up. How could you say no to that?

Bucky Barnes:

He hadn’t noticed you yet, sitting on the patio steps. The rented cottage was angled so the sun caught whatever rested on the porch. Usually it were local cats, this time they were joined by your man. Scratching his head at just the right angle, gleam of metal sending magic over the stone.

He’s a tuxedo with white on only his back-left paw. Following the little white dots along the stone and up the wall. Both paws reaching out to slap at the light swishing side to side, following it left to right and back down to the porch. He was one of those outdoor cats, born in the wild. Scratched up ears and skinny body to match.

Bucky raises his arms up and down for the sun to catch it. Kitty not having a care in the world no matter how close he got to the large man. Eventually attacking Bucky’s leg, pressing against it and bouncing back. Turning around and attacking again, maybe trying to confuse his prey.

“Oh God, I love it.” Wanda had texted when you sent the video.

Kitty was your host for the duration of the small vacation. Probably hanging around because of the food you had left out, letting out a jagged meow while trotting up whenever Bucky leaves the cabin.

By the last day Kitty sat next to the bags stacked by the door. Staring, daring like he was daring you to try and leave without him.

Natasha Romanoff:

His name is Clint and he’s a bastard.

Just like the man he was named after, the large African gray parrot hung out in the highest points of the apartment when alone. Sometimes flying down to chill on the counter or couch when Nat was home, bouncing around the apartment while she would watch amused.

He was adopted when Natasha officially moved in. Someone for you to be with while she was away. She really loved him, cooing at him when perched on her shoulder. Speaking in any language she knew as a greeting.

Nat was Clint’s obvious favorite. The moment she was gone he would go into his corner. Waiting for you to be in sight before throwing an actual tantrum. There was a real chance that Clint was a cat reincarnated; going into your kitchen and knocking down the hung-up mugs, opening the cabinets and marching on the plates when he locks himself in. He’ll scream into the void between the couch and wall, grab at chips or snacks as your bringing them to your mouth. In those few minutes that he’s calm he’ll stay in front of you and just stare;

“Bring mom back, or I’ll tear this house apart.”

The worst? He can speak, but only in Russian. You hadn’t learned what he was saying, but he was likely cursing you out.

Bruce Banner:

She’s a street beggar that had a love for fried chicken. With a meow too high for a cat her age, not caring about dangers and stretching deep. Her front paws against your leg, as though she just happens to be leaning against you.

She does this every day when you pass. Accepting whatever sort of meaty substance you have at the moment. Seeming to glare when you had the audacity to offer a vegetable. At one point she followed after eating the treat, it was a spur of the moment decision to scoop from the old cat, her nails barely pressing into the cloth of your sleeves.

It honestly took a few days before Bruce noticed Peppermint. She was an older cat, her all black coat had some shimmer of gray from age. Long haired and only showed her bratty side at the vet, or when she was being brushed.

You really, really should have told him about her when you first got home. He wasn’t home very often, a little house outside of a city. Even the mildest mannered of the Avengers was almost never home. This was among the excuses you had used for randomly adopting a cat.

“She was alone, like me.” You are a real asshole sometimes.

Of course, you never blamed Bruce for having to be gone. You’ve spent years separated until the Avengers brought you back together, another few more when he disappeared into the sky. Using all that for a cat? She better be one amazing cat.

T’Challa:

The man has battle rhinos, you’d think he could handle a French bulldog.

Cosmo was a spoiled coworker’s birthday present. She lost interest in him after he passed his puppy phase. Her comments about taking him to the shelter had perked your ears, swooping in to save the little boy right behind her.

He’s a real brat, you love him, but he’s the worst.

You’ve just never realized how bad he was until T’challa insisted you visit for a longer period then expected. This was the journey of many firsts for Cosmo; first time on a plane, first time leaving country and the first time in Wakanda. First time meeting Okoye, who just watched this little black ball raise on his paws and stare at her on the plane seat. He growled deep in his throat, whining up at her and she just stared back. Eventually he just started barking, sitting on his butt and barking to the sky. Demanding she pick him up.

She just smiles down at him, head on her hand. Seeing how long this boy was going to whine until he gave up. Cosmo was going the entire flight, Okoye would make a great mother.

Shuri’s face lighting up was worth bringing the little booger along. It wasn’t that there were no small dogs in Wakanda, or that she didn’t know what a French bull dog was, it was just a breed that wasn’t necessary to adopt from the outside world. With both hands she holds him up to her face, more than willing to watch him while you met up with T’challa.

His face looking at Cosmo was one of “What did you bring into my home?”

And he kept that face every time Cosmo stared up at him with that old man wheezing. Or when Cosmo would take a sock from those placed out, running from the room with it like he had just robbed a bank. His worst offense is to have the audacity to squeeze his firry butt between you and T’chall at night. Too deep in sleep to hear the names your man was calling your second favorite boy.

Pietro Maximoff

Nothing can cement a person to one place like a sleeping pet.

They’ve been stuck to the same spot for the past hour. The black and white husky resting her head on his lap, one paw over the knee as a way to say “please, don’t move.”

Pietro’s face was annoyed, but his dominate hand kept a good rhythm of petting Savannah’s head. The other flicked through channels, occasionally looking your way. Maybe to see what you were doing (still on the laptop), maybe to look for help. Not that you’d ever mess with your copper and white colored princess.

She would nip at your legs, howl and scream when the food would take too long. Keeping Pietro wrapped around her paw whenever he left the house. Growling low in her throat when he’d tell her no. She would do this until he grabbed her leash, muttering in his mother language as she wiggled with excitement.

Peter Parker:

Peter held the little guy way too close to his face. Looking at the white and fawn spotted bunny in his hands, inspecting him as though he might not have been an actual rabbit. In his defense Happy was cute little guy.

It was like a divorce from a marriage that never happened. Happy was a plan that took weeks in the making. Infecting each other with the Bun disease after watching one too many “how to care for your rabbit” videos in the wee hours of the morning. He spent most his life at your place, taking him Peter’s a few times a week during “Dates”.

It wasn’t that Aunt May had explicably said no, she just gestured around the apartment. “We barely fit in here.” The woman was immune to the bunny charms, still more than willing to hold him, though. Making kissy noises and cooing.

This was Happy’s life now. Seeing his Daddy every “date” night. The two of your sitting across from each other on the floor, legs stretching out for your feet to be flat against each other. Creating a tiny carrel for Happy to choose which parent he will be cuddled by.

Stephen Strange:

It wasn’t so much Stephen had said no that Wong did. He had the look of a man who had seen the effects of cats on old books and birds in wide open areas. Dogs don’t seem to be on the list of preferred pets for those working in mystic arts. They’re too good for them, anyway.

“It’s good karma,” You had said, door chiming when opened.

“Karma’s not real, Sweetie,” The nickname of condescension.

“You’re fucking attitude is. Hi, Marisa.”

There is probably a reason dogs aren’t chosen for mystic arts. They’re too much of a distraction, spending hours with these girls and boys. Filling bowls, washing cages and scrubbing puppies cleaned the soul.

Stephen had stood off to the side at first. One of those poor kids whose parents had never let him have a real pet (maybe a fish, but you can’t pet a fish). Slowly getting more accommodated with the dogs getting too excited around him. Then he met Beorn, the adult male Newfoundland who was getting on in age.

Because of his age he wasn’t the first option for adoption, a mass of black hair laying in his cage. Beorn nudged against his hand, a deep noise at the back of his throat that said, “I’m old and deserve pets. Get to it, youngster.”

Stephen’s hands disappeared into the black mass. Reaching for miles before he found the body and Beorn groaned at the attention. Stephen fell in love with him at that moment. Going with you to the shelter and just so happen to wander towards Beorn. Taking credit for volunteering while he only stays with this old bear.

“I want him,” He one day admitted on the way home.

“Talk to your work-husband.”

Matt Murdock:

“I don’t need a service dog,” He says.

“I’ll pay for it.” You says.

“Sweetie, Angel, no.” The double pet name. It’s on now.

“Come, how’d you get that busted lip?”

Thug two was quieter than thug one

“Walked into a door.” He says.

“And your ribs?”

Big crow-bar, bigger guy

“Went hard into a table.”

“You know what can keep you from doing that? A service animal.” Beers clink between your fingers while walking into the room.

“I have you for that.” He says.

“Wow,” You keep the bottle from his hands. Setting it on the coffee table instead.

“I didn’t mean that,” He reaches for the bottle. Missing by a few inches, leaning forward and pushing it gently into his hands. “I think the cane says I’m blind enough. I don’t have time for it either.”

“Dogs are suffering you know,” a drink of beer. You’re planning something. “And their shelter is underfunded.”

There it is; his little, bleeding heart, angel. “What do they need?”

“Lawyer on retainer, paperwork and stuff. “Another drink, a louder gulp. You hardly ever asked for anything, let alone a legal favor. “All your clients with them will be innocent. Ya know?”

Matt nods, “Foggy’ll love it.”

------------------------

Carol Danvers:

“This is just a favor to a friend,” Mr. Fury says walking with you through the house.

Middle of nowhere was an understatement, surrounded by fields owned by no one and woods belonging to the deer. You should probably ask if there was wifi in the place. That the phone line is connected out here is a serious long shot.

“In exchange for that favor,” You’ve only known this man for a few hours. Long enough for car ride and brief introduction that told you nothing but his name. In that time, you have learned he seemed to like being dramatic. Grabbing the carrier on the kitchen table and setting it on the floor with a clunk for dramatics. “He’s your problem now.”

The orange kitty inside obviously didn’t share Mr. Fury’s love for dramatics. Just sitting in the loaf position inside of his crate, barely acknowledging that he now had a way to roam around.

“Carol has a cat?” You ask.

The floor creaks as you squat down to see inside the crate better. Cat now acting like you meant nothing to him while he stretches out. Walking out and sniffing your outstretched fingers. A purr deep in his throat gets louder when he rubs against them, spinning to trail his tail between your fingers.

“He’s more then that. Just make sure he’s in front of your if they break in here.” Mr. Fury says, holding out a card to you. “When that happens give me a call.”

-----------------

Shang-Chi:

It takes a minute to realize that a turtle had made it’s home in Shang’s apartments. It’s enclosure blending a little too well with the shelves, lamps and junk that decorated Shang’s living space.

“That’s Sheldon-.” Shang begins.

“LAME!” Yells Katy from the couch.

“-Xialing gave him to me a bit ago. She said he ‘matched the décor and my attitude.’ Whatever that means.”

Seeing Sheldon making his way around the room. You had to agree. Especially as it was a pancake tortoise that moved around faster than you’d assume it to be.

Now that you knew Sheldon was there he was hard to miss. He walked through the tiles of the kitchen when let out of his enclosure and chilled on the carpet when Shang would get ready in the morning.

“I thought I was your pushup cheerleader.” You said one morning from your shared bed.

It was a blessing and a curse that Shang used pushups to wake up in the morning. A blessing because who doesn’t like to wake up to a beautiful view? And a curse because of the constant suggestion that you join him.

This morning he was doing the set as usual. With Sheldon choosing to hang out right under his owner. Completely confident in his dad’s ability to not just slam to the ground.

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onlyatz · 6 years

Text

Letters (Yunho)

writing letters is something you do in your free time, because you enjoy it. You and this other person have been sending letters for months, until the day you two finally met.

words: 1562

You enjoy writing letters, even though email is a thing

Don’t worry, you have an email, it’s just mainly for work

You also really like the idea of pen pals, and you’ve been doing it for years

You’ve been sending letters to this guy for months and you guys still haven’t told each other your names

Of course, it’s because you two were so into the conversation that it completely slipped out of your mind

Sometimes, your coworkers worry about your liking of writing letters and pen pals

“What if you’re actually talking to an old man?”

“What if you’re talking to a killer?”

The usual worries

You remain unbothered as you continue to do your work

Instead, you were looking forward for the letter that’s probably sitting on the floor of your house by now

“Hello? Are you listening?” a coworker said while waving their hand in front of your face

“Yeah, I just didn’t care about what you said.”

“Ouch.’

Okay, you weren’t that mean, you were just being honest

You continue to do your work until your shift was over

You quickly said goodbye to your coworkers before leaving the building and went home

When you got home, you see a bunch of mail on the floor, and you immediately recognized the specific envelope and picked up that one first

You picked up your other mail and placed them on the counter, separating the one mail you waited for from the rest

Most of the mail you don’t really care for, and you don’t even remember how some of the companies got your name and address when you don’t even know them

You put the mail away and grabbed the one envelope and immediately went to your room

You opened the envelope gently and pulled out the letter

There was a picture that fell out of the envelope

It was a picture of a dog

A labrador retriever (because that’s a dog I see him with)

You had to smile at the picture he sent to you because the dog is just so cute

You unfolded the letter and began reading it

He mentioned that the picture of a dog he sent was his dog and that her name was daisy

Even though you don’t know what he looks like or sounds like, you could tell he was very happy

You could take a picture of your cat that’s just been laying down next to the letter this whole time

And that’s what you did

Luckily your cat just likes to stay still and sleep

You continue to read the letter as the picture was printing

“We’ve been sending each other letters for a long time now, we should meet each other!” he wrote

That’s something you’d like to do, except, you don’t know who you would be looking for

You kinda assume he wants it to be a surprise

His letter is filled with how his day went, which is what you two have been sending to each other back and forth

You look down, and instead of him signing it as pen pal, he wrote his name

Yunho

You should also sign your name since he did

So that’s what you did, after talking about your day, how you agreed to meeting up sometime

You also mentioned about where they should meet up

You made sure he knew the picture of the cat was yours and mentioned his name

You also gave a suggestion on where they should meet up, but really it’s up to him

You put the letter and the picture in the same envelope you use when you send him letters and put it in the mailbox near your house

A couple days have passed and luckily, it was your day off

You were just chilling on your couch with your cat on your lap

You weren’t watching anything on your tv, just some random old movies that might show up

Sometimes horror movies would show up, but you don’t pay much attention to it

When something scary pops up, your cat would run away and you’re by yourself

Eventually, your cat would return and rest in the same spot on your lap

You grab the nearby comb and became combing your cat and getting rid of the fur

Honestly, you haven't done anything much, except just chilling with your cat

You didn't even got up to eat

Only until your cat gets up when he wants food

You hear something fell down in front of your front door

But you didn’t bother because your cat is sleeping on your lap

Instead, you were just on your phone and looking at videos without any sound

You legs were getting numb, but you really don’t want to wake him up

Like… you really don’t want to

But you had to, because your legs are really getting numb

Your cat instantly woke up and just went somewhere else to take a nap

You finally got up from your couch and went to get the mail

Ironically, you got tired, basically from doing nothing

You notice that same envelope and you suddenly weren’t tired anymore

You checked out the other mail first before putting them away and rushed to your room with the letter from yunho

You opened the envelope and read his letter

You couldn’t help but smile, because he’s in your area and he recommended your favorite mall

Which, to be honest, you don’t buy anything from there, you mainly just like you walk around

You became surprised when you noticed he put his number there

You understand, so then you guys can talk about meeting up, but you never had someone give you their number before

You text him just to make sure

“Is this yunho?” You texted

“Yes, is this Y/N?” he texted back

“Yes!”

You smiled so much, getting an instant reply from Yunho

You guys continued to text each other

You mainly expressed how happy you are about finally meeting him and talking about when you’re gonna meet and what you’re gonna do

After a couple hours of having a conversation through text, you sent the final text of the day

“Even after we have each other’s numbers and have finally met each other, can we still send letters to each other?”

“Of course! That was fun!”

You smiled at his response, at least there was another person who likes sending letters other than you

Let’s skip to the day you finally get to meet him

Of course, you haven’t forgotten about it

It’s the opposite, you have been thinking about it since he mentioned it

You got to chill with your cat once again until the time comes

Especially since the mall isn’t that far from your house

This time, you actually played with your cat with his toys

When the time came, you went to get ready as your cat was sitting on the window sill and watching every human being, car, and other animal pass by

When you finished getting ready, you said bye to your cat and left the house

It’s your choice if you wanna drive a car or take the bus

When you arrived, you began to text him about where they should first meet

“How about that fountain that’s in front of the entrance?” he asked

It’s as if you knew, because that was exactly where you were waiting

“Alright.” you replied and put your phone away

You paced around the fountain, waiting patiently for him

Minutes turned into hours

You still paced around the fountain, honestly what lap were you on?

Then you received a text from yunho

“Sorry, but I kinda got lost…. Can you tell me what store you’re in front of?”

You sighed in relief, because you thought he forgot

You told him and sat on the edge of the fountain where it wasn’t wet

You were scrolling through your phone until you heard someone call your name

You were confused, because when you looked around, no one seemed to be looking for you

The one person who seems to be looking for someone is this tall man constantly looking around

He seems to be worried, but you don’t interact because that’s not something you do

Though, you keep watching him every few seconds just to make sure he’s okay

When you looked at him again, he yelled your name

You were so confused, but you tried to say the name of the person you’re looking for

“Yunho?”

The same tall man looked at you. But he wasn’t sure if it was you

He made his way towards you and gave a unsure look

“Yunho?” You say.

He smiled, “So you’re Y/N!”

“You’re Yunho?! You’re so tall!”

He laughed, “And you’re so short!”

(If you’re close to yunho’s height i’m sorry)

“Hey!”

He hugged you and lifted you off of the group and spun you around

“It’s great to finally meet you!”

“It’s nice to finally meet you too, but please put me down. YOU’RE GONNA CRUSH ME!”

“Right, right. Sorry!”

You took a deep breath as if you were trying to give your lungs the air you missed while being spun

“Let’s go walk around the mall and have fun!” you suggested

He smiled, “Alright, but you’re gonna have to show me around.”

“Of course I will!”

#ateez #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #jeong yunho #yunho #c; yunho #c; general #c; bullet

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blood-orange27 · 6 years

Text

GG and CP Shit

@talkingtea for everyone to see

I have a theory about CP and GG. I want to preface this by saying it is more than likely a REACH, but eff it, I like to believe in things that are not necessarily true and I LOVE to ship people that might potentially be together in the future even if it never happens. I’m messy bitch that lives for the drama of it all! Also please ignore how much thought and effort was put into this, I was off for a week and got bored/slightly obsessed with TF for a while.

I don’t have an instagram, but from all the screenshots, videos and research all the other Grandice shippers have done I have almost everything I need to posit that GG and CP might be a little more than friendly coworkers and if not now at least at some point in time. But this specifically is all through Instagram posts and a few interviews so bear with me in my analysis of their friendship.

First background evidence: I scrolled through GG’s entire instagram and I noticed that compared to his other relationships (since 2011 anyway) he posts about LA WAY more than any other girl he’s dated. Even his actual long time girlfriend, Hannah, that he was dating when he started the Flash (I think they dated for 4 years), he posted pics of the two of them together maybe 5 or 6 times on his entire Instagram (which might be due to the fact that they broke up and he deleted some photos I know). GG’s photos with Hannah were often way more discreet rather than the constant in-your-face photos he posts with LA. Especially when you factor in that he didn’t start dating LA until 2016 and then a year later (maybe longer or shorter I’m not sure) they’re engaged?! Now, It could be that GG actually found “the one” and he wanted to jump on the opportunity fast instead of “wasting” another 4 years of his and her life because he’s older now and might think marriage is the most logical step for someone his age, idk. But I mean GG and LA started off hot on Instagram with pics of them together unlike him and Hannah (again maybe she liked her privacy since she was a dancer for Beyonce or didn’t like being shown off), 6but it really puts things in perspective when you consider how in love GG and LA seemed so quickly.

Looking at Hannah’s Instagram the first pic she ever posted of GG was in 2012.

https://www.instagram.com/p/Rd_SqPiBBg/?taken-by=hannahdlaine

Second photo of GG wasn’t until a year later https://www.instagram.com/p/YjcnmCiBO4/?taken-by=hannahdlaine

In the middle of 2013 she seemed really in love with GG here… him not so much, lol jk :P and this was also the last time she posted a picture of GG on her Instagram (unless she deleted some) https://www.instagram.com/p/bQfJucCBDF/?taken-by=hannahdlaine

From then on she seems to post more about GG’s dogs than him. I think she’s just naturally private about her relationships in general. Also it seems she was too busy being on tour with Beyonce to maintain a relationship based off her posts. But Jett (GG’s dog) seems to be sporadically in her posts through August of 2015 so they were dating at least until then. I think August is where things might have officially ended for the two. More on that in a bit.

As I said GG only posted about her a few times. Hannah and GG in April 2014 https://www.instagram.com/p/mtUohGAVN5/?taken-by=grantgust

The last photo of Hannah on GG’s Instagram was in June of 2014 so... https://www.instagram.com/p/pZavdmgVKi/?taken-by=grantgust you see where his head was at once the Flash started.

The first pic LA ever posted of her and GG was in April of 2016 with a seemingly innocent caption https://www.instagram.com/p/BEoz5JcC47I/?taken-by=lathoma3 meaning they could have started dating around then or could have just been friends. But if they were dating then that means GG and LA really did get engaged only a year later, wow! LA posted another pic in May 2016 of two pairs of feet with one pair that might have belonged to GG since he tends to rock Converses and some of the comments thought it was him too https://www.instagram.com/p/BFW5zUTC482/?taken-by=lathoma3 So they possibly knew each other for a little while.

Interestingly, the first picture GG ever posted of him and LA was not until August of 2016 https://www.instagram.com/p/BJJNna5BOvd/?taken-by=grantgust which means they could have started dating earlier but he wanted to wait to post her until he knew it was something serious. However, looking at the caption, you wouldn’t explicitly know they were dating yet unless you followed her. From then on he posts pictures of the two of them, starting off slow with maybe one every few weeks then it becomes quite consistent with him posting pics of them every few days.

Another thing I noticed after they started dating is what some people have pointed out in that GG does not seem to post or interact with CP as much since. But it seems like they were actually interacting more after he met and started dating LA. I used to believed that all the social media interaction and “flirting” you used to see between CP and GG may have caused his relationship with Hannah to end. 12But after going through his Instagram it seems like he was less likely to talk or interact with Candice on Social Media until the end of 2015 and into 2016. Some interviews may prove otherwise but for the most part not really. I’ll explain why.

Looking back: when GG and CP first began the show in 2014 it seemed like all the photos of the two of them were platonic or group shots and he rarely posted just a photo of the two of them. Probably bc he was still in a good relationship with Hannah and was not trying to look thirsty. Most of GG and CP’s 1st pics together are group shots of him and the cast and the captions are friendly but not flirtatious at all. I cannot speak for twitter tho. The only post that seemed mildly spicy during this time was this one and it refers to both CP and DP in June of 2014 https://www.instagram.com/p/o3xg3AgVD4/?taken-by=grantgust and even that was nothing to get excited about. Some people even pointed out that GG was acting weird or distant during the 2015 San Diego Comic Con which might have been due to the fact that his relationship with Hannah was starting to crumble. That’s when things began to change in October of 2015 when GG posted this, calling CP his Bae https://www.instagram.com/p/86yZm8gVK1/?taken-by=grantgust Which seemed a bit flirty even if only for the show and Westallen shippers. I think GG and Hannah were already separated during this time and he wanted to start publicly flirting with Candice. Also if you look at his Holiday pics around the end of 2015, https://www.instagram.com/p/_uRaiXgVJM/?taken-by=grantgust

Hannah is nowhere to be found and usually you bring and show off a partner during the holidays especially if they’ve been together so long. This makes me think they definitely broke up around the end of the summer in 2015.

When 2016 started he was full on macking on Candice because he knew he could do so more now that he was single. As soon as 2016 started GG and CP were flirting A LOT more (possibly to push the WestAllen storyline or maybe they actually just like to flirt). But it seemed to be more blatant in 2016 with Grant posting a pic of them with the smirk emoji in January at the Golden Globes https://www.instagram.com/p/BAZF5jRAVD9/?taken-by=grantgust and notice how the other pics he posted with women at the Golden Globes were captions stating how they were homies but not with CP https://www.instagram.com/p/BAZGTwpgVEa/?taken-by=grantgust

https://www.instagram.com/p/BAZHIBegVFZ/?taken-by=grantgust

Grant posting those tweets about his kissing skills to CP was in June 2016. https://twitter.com/grantgust/status/746735191276675072?lang=en

There is no way of knowing exactly when he started dating LA so I can only go off of his 1st Instagram pic with her in August. But it did seem like when the pics of him and LA became more consistent, the flirting between him and CP slowed down a bit.

Let us examine for a moment Candice’s Instagram pics and see if they align with Grant’s. Starting right off the bat Candice was also in a relationship in 2012 that she showed off a little with a few pics like this https://www.instagram.com/p/OXUGUcRb9M/?taken-by=candicekp but she was still quite private about the whole thing so I’m not sure when this relationship ended. As 2014 starts and she’s casted in the Flash she seems to follow the same procedure as Grant for the most part. Only posting group shots and nothing flirtatious in the slightest (I’m guessing because she was being respectful of GG and Hannah’s relationship) and she may have still been dating the guy from earlier I mentioned, again who really knows. She did post a lot of pics with the Rick Cosnett during this year (Eddie from TF) https://www.instagram.com/p/3AQAEuRb2W/?taken-by=candicekp

So there may have been something between those 2 or it might have just been because they had a lot of intimate scenes together season 1 and got close.The first pic of just the two of them (GG and CP) outside of the show was at the end of 2014 with a behind the scenes shot with no discernable flirtation going on in the caption but the photo looks a little spicy https://www.instagram.com/p/wzwy6zxb1t/?taken-by=candicekp The 1st pic that showed any feign of interest was in early 2015 when she posted a pic of just GG asking fans to vote for him at the KCA’s https://www.instagram.com/p/zjMbz2xb9Z/?taken-by=candicekp which was probably just a friendly gesture. I know she was single in 2015 bc she posted memes of being single.https://www.instagram.com/p/zGG-wuxb6o/?taken-by=candicekp https://www.instagram.com/p/3kEPySRb6_/?taken-by=candicekp

I’m not sure how long she had been single but if was for a while judging from the posts. The next day however she posts an animated fan art pic https://www.instagram.com/p/zlKdFyRb6t/?taken-by=candicekp of Westallen kissing so again, she could just be her showing appreciation to the fan art and promoting the show, but who knows! A few weeks later she posts just a pic of GG saying he gives the best giggles which is suspicious but not too much https://www.instagram.com/p/z22Rncxb8z/?taken-by=candicekp

However, In May of 2015 she posts a sneaky photo of GG and uses the hashtag #toocute https://www.instagram.com/p/28r2acxbxg/?taken-by=candicekp which seems a little flirty but again he was still with Hannah at the time even if it was falling apart. It seems as GG’s relationship was on the rocks with Hannah he began getting closer to CP.

Then BOOM 2016 starts and she reposts GG’s photo of them at the Golden Globes with a caption of “avec mon ami” (meaning something along the lines of “with my friend”...yeah ok) https://www.instagram.com/p/BAZ_6btxbxh/?taken-by=candicekp From then on she seems to post more Westallen fan art and some other suggestive photos that make me believe their “friendship” was growing stronger in 2016. Even at the 2016 San Diego Comic Con they had their arms linked in one interview. But it seems as though as the year went on, just as GG started posting their friendship less, so did CP. Which could be due to GG being in the Honeymoon phase of his relationship and investing in LA hard. But we cannot forget this adorable photo he snapped of CP in the Beginning of 2017 https://www.instagram.com/p/BPwcPEgBgx2/?taken-by=grantgust Also SDCC 2017 happened and GG and CP seemed to be quite close during their interviews. There was the “Daddies” comment CP posted on Tom’s Instagram and then GG liked it. There was also FanExpo they did in Vancouver in November 2017 which was great Grandice tea as well since GG kept interacting with CP and Zoe throughout the entire panel. If anything, I would say 2016 and 2017 were their years of the most flirtatious interaction, so far.

Also around the time GG and LA got engaged in April 2017 GG disabled comments on his Instagram posts from then to August of 2017. If anyone has any evidence of why he chose to do so, I would greatly appreciate it. I think he did it because of all the backlash he might have gotten from fans about the engagement, since it wasn’t to CP LOL! But it was definitely strange to say the least.

*Now I have nothing against LA personally, I actually want to like her because she reps my alma mater, The Ohio State University, constantly, and she may even be from Ohio like me and it kinda makes me happy that GG might have found a nice girl from Ohio. However, after reading multiple threads and accounts about her personality and potentially being racially insensitive or problematic that made me reconsider things (but I did not see explicit PROOF of this so I am still on the fence about it)*

But it is quite strange that GG posts about them like they’ve been together for years. It could also be because they’re still in the Honeymoon phase and that’s when people usually take the most pictures together and want others to know they’re in a relationship. Now they’re engaged and I thought I heard somewhere that the wedding won’t be until next year (I could be wrong tho). This will really put their relationship to the test because wedding planning can make or break a couple in some cases. And since they are long distance most of the time, it could prove fatal for their romance like it did with Hannah. Again this is all speculation and probably means nothing because I don’t know them personally and don’t see all aspects of their relationship on a daily basis. But isn’t it weird that you want to show off someone that much that you haven’t dated that long?? There are theories about it being fake and that’s the only reason I would believe it, because it seems to be a little rushed.

People who think CP and LA don’t like each other seem to forget this pic https://www.instagram.com/p/BehDLHYn2tn/?taken-by=grantgust from Grant in January this year, showing that they can all hang out outside of the show and it not be weird. Although we weren’t there and CP and LA could have been side-eyeing each other the entire time lol, but again not likely and we will never know for sure bc we were not there.

Here is how I think it all went down if you believe that GG and CP ever liked each other, hooked up, dated briefly, etc. GG and Hannah seemed to be in a loving relationship, especially in 2013 which was one year after they supposedly started dating (remember Honeymoon phase). That’s also when Hannah had the most photos of him on her Instagram. In 2014 they were still dating, but as Hannah became more busy with Beyonce and Grant got casted in the Flash, they didn’t get to see each other as much and maybe their relationship suffered or they naturally drifted apart. Seeing as the last pic Grant ever posted of her was in 2014 it seems he had gotten too busy or maybe it was meeting Candice that made him rethink things. I also believe Hannah doesn’t like to post about her relationships as much as GG does which might be why he likes to post so much with LA since he never really could with Hannah since she was always away and she liked to keep her relationship private. Since they broke up around the end of 2015, it makes sense why he started openly flirting with CP more on Insta, he knew he could and maybe he wanted to be to see if there was something there. Perhaps CP turned him down because she didn’t want to be the rebound since he was just getting out of a long-term relationship, but she didn’t mind a little harmless flirting. LA didn’t care obviously and dated him anyway. If GG and LA really did start dating in early 2016, it looks suspicious for him to be that smitten that quickly after a breakup like that, but what do I know, he could really love the girl. But remember GG didn’t start posting pics of LA until towards the end of 2016 and during that summer at SDCC he and CP seemed to interact more, were closer in some interviews and were linking arms in one interview and he seemed happier than the previous year. Also it’s weird how close and touchy feely GG was being after he got engaged to LA during the 2017 Comic Con and FanExpo interviews.

REACH ALERT!! All the flirtation in interviews and SM interaction is GG and CP’s way of being together without looking too suspicious and soon GG will realize this and ends things with LA. Or both CP and GG want to be together but want to wait until the Flash ends so it doesn’t interfere with the show’s dynamic if it doesn’t work out. That doesn’t explain why he’s marrying LA tho unfortunately :/

But in all honesty I think in general GG and CP just like to keep their friendship private unless they’re in public which makes it harder to hide. Once again I want to say this is all just speculation and fun. More than likely they’re just friends that sometimes like to play up their relationship in public for the show to keep the viewers interested and ratings up. Maybe they’re attracted to one another and they just don’t click well as a couple or they don’t want to ruin their friendship bc they know it will affect their interaction on the show.

#talkingtea #grandice #westallen #candice patton #grant gustin #messy #barry allen #the flash

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airanddust · 4 years

Text

A day in isolation

Day I don’t even know. It’s March 27. I should be packed and ready for a trip to Japan, but that was cancelled a month ago. We should have been there to see the cherry blossoms and stay in a cramped Osaka hotel room. Now, as the meme says, we will be going to “Los Kitchenos.”

My mornings start with a sense of reluctance. Sailor nudges my leg two minutes before my 7 am alarm. I used to wake up at 6, which, since the time change, is now 7, but I haven’t been to the office since then so I’ve been waking up at this time for…three weeks. Since March 5.

I feed the dogs, stumble in the wan light to pull open the blinds, flip on my Happy Light, and unfurl my thick purple yoga mat. I don’t bother with the toning yoga videos anymore. It’s all stretches and relaxation practices. I choose fifteen or twenty minutes, or thirty if I didn’t hit snooze and feel luxurious. I tilt my spine side to side in tabletop position, hands and feet against the ribbed mat. A catch releases somewhere in my back.

The first downward dog is always a balm for my calves. My right leg is a block of concrete, stiff and unmoving after an uncomfortable night. I often wake to find myself jammed against one shoulder, or with a hand tingling, or my hip screaming so loudly it pulls me from a dream.

I work through the flow and inevitably need a tissue when my body spurts up some gunk that went dormant overnight. Clarity returns to my sinuses. I feel a little less hatred for the day ahead. It almost feels like a normal day.

Since stocking up for the vacation-apocalypse, I now have a myriad of breakfast choices as compared to my typical instant oatmeal packet or protein shake. I could have protein waffles, banana bread, strawberries, string cheese, or cinnamon raisin bread that Robert made, wide and puffy.

I read the Bible while I eat. I used to read it on my YouVersion app, but that was creating a too-addictive don’t-break-the-chain habit (I got to 100 days this year), and the reading didn’t go deep. I switched to the mid-Psalms in my fifteen-year-old NASB college Bible and starting journaling my SOAP — another unfortunate acronym, but a helpful one I gleaned from our church’s online messages. Scripture, Observation, Application, Prayer. It helps me identify what most speaks to me in a passage and consider it more closely. Today it’s Psalm 41.

I have fifteen minutes to write, perched on the edge of my dilapidated former office chair, which has lost two silver wheels and now sits disabled next to my desk. I realized I need a separate space, even if it’s just a seat two feet from my office chair, in which to write and thus separate myself from work.

I check newsletters in my email. The Denison Forum, the New York Times briefing, the Hustle, Briefingday, and, on Fridays, Girls’ Night In. I take a quick scroll through Instagram. Sometimes I watch a few stories from my favorite fashion bloggers. Then I lift the lid of my work MacBook Pro.

It’s time to work, but the thought of eight hours ahead of me is nearly paralyzing. I usually open Trello, where I’ve divided my tasks into To Do, Doing, and Done, but today I try Marie Forleo’s handwritten method of finishing the sentence “The one thing I will accomplish today is…” Today, it is sketching and mocking up a grid view for car sensors.

Then the Slack messages come in. I removed Slack from my phone at the advice of a coworker — “only I can give myself anxiety; Slack doesn’t have that privilege” — but the desktop app still manages to contribute to the low-grade anxiety that I will miss a critical conversation. I disabled the red badge of death. I turned on Do Not Disturb. Yet I still compulsively open Slack every ten minutes. Working remotely seems to make me eager to prove I’m around, available, not goofing off, and I don’t get into that deep zone of focus I need. But I try. I turn on an instrumental playlist from Spotify — it only recommends classical and movie scores for me now — and clump my old, cheap Amazon headphones over my ears.

My cat Nala weaves in between my keyboard and monitor. She flips onto her back and splays her legs out, falls asleep, and spreads ever so subtly until her back leg shoves my keyboard to the far edge of the desk, where I am now forced to sit diagonal to my computer. If I shut her out of the office, she scratches the door and makes pleading guttural noises, but in the office, she seems to know when I have a Zoom meeting and pretends to run an agility course. More than twice I’ve had to introduce her to coworkers when she hops between me and the webcam, leaving a dark tail in her wake.

We had catered lunch daily at the office. Now we fend for ourselves. This week I wrote down a semi-meal plan, and today I pull two red-topped plastic containers from the fridge to mix Thai ground beef with leftover Kraft Mac and cheese. I microwave it until it’s a strangely humid combination of cuisines.

I read the latest edition of Real Simple while I eat. The magazine came bagged in a plastic sheath, which I peeled off and threw away before washing my hands. I know the content was created months ago before this virus existed, and yet it’s still odd to read something so remarkably free of Covid-19. There is, however, a spring cleaning feature that explains the difference between sanitizing and disinfecting. That reminds me we only have a handful of Clorox wipes left. When we run out I’ve thought of dipping paper towels into the leftover solution at the bottom of the canister. I haven’t been super diligent about wiping down surfaces, but then again, we don’t go out much. I haven’t been outside in two days.

I return to my desk and mindlessly nibble on a Seattle Chocolate Double Distilled Mint bar. I eventually return to the kitchen to make DIY milk tea — cold Lipton with a splash of milk, mixed in my reusable boba tea tumbler. I didn’t think I could tolerate caffeine, but the iced tea has just enough to propel me through the rest of the workday. I don’t have tapioca to add but that’s okay. There are apparently sixty-eight carbs per serving of boba. I’m already eating too much. We stocked up on rice cakes, bananas, peanut butter, oatmeal, canned soup, dried pineapple, Pop-Tarts, and granola. Five-year-old me is constantly aware of this and always planning my next trip to the kitchen.

At three I join a few coworkers for what we call Zoom-ba, our virtual dance session, where I share a pre-made YouTube playlist and we dance in tiny thumbnail windows with each other. Our favorite instructor is a guy named Mao who wears bright colors and dances on a pier somewhere over tropical waters. It helps us feel less like we’re trapped in our small, dark homes.

After an hour more of work, I join another Zoom call to work out with friends who exercise with me almost daily now. Today we do legs. Last time we did abs, which, for some reason, left Laura with sore arms and me with achy glutes. We’re still figuring out how to do this. We place our laptops on chairs and the floor and follow an impossibly fit woman on YouTube.

Sweaty and tired, I tell my friends goodbye and pull up Instagram to watch the nightly fireside chat from my favorite finance author. It’s comforting to have this small slice of a predictable schedule: to know that every night, he’ll appear on my screen at 5:30. After this I don’t know what I’ll do. Maybe eat, or walk the dogs.

Robert makes mashed potatoes in the Instant Pot, and a thick, starchy scent wafts through the house. The Instagram Live ends and I join him for small plates of mashed potatoes with canned green beans. It feels sort of like a survival meal. We forgot to defrost any meat. I know I’ll be hungry later.

It’s raining so we don’t walk the dogs. Instead, we finish watching the first season of Altered Carbon, which I wasn’t sure I’d even want to finish watching. I don’t like how the story is ending. I also realize that with each show I watch, I’m wondering why the actors stand so close to each other. It hasn’t even been six months since all of this started. Will I think this way about every show from now on?

After the show ends Robert goes to his home office and I go to mine, where I open Skillshare for the next new routine I’ve established: learning Spanish. A coworker mentioned it could be a good way to pass the time, and since we have several Spanish-speaking friends and I love Zumba music, I’d like to learn it. I sit in front of my laptop and repeat words to the screen.

Some nights I make a tiny zine out of a sheet of printer paper. I think I’m putting too much on my plate. My creativity feels dried up, restless, and I end up on Twitter or some other internet rabbit hole. I don’t want to look back and see that every decision I made during this time was reactionary, but some days I don’t feel like I can muster much more than that.

Before brushing my teeth and washing my face, I go through my planner, make sure I did everything I wanted to do today. I realize how crude that sounds when, as some articles tell me, I shouldn’t be focused on output during a time of global crisis. But I feel listless without these goals. I need something to put me in motion, even if only for distraction.

Now I’m in bed. I have a stack of library books procured hours before the library shut down, but I don’t always read them. I keep one on my nightstand just in case. I’ll probably watch Robert play Animal Crossing on the Switch until I can’t keep my eyes open anymore. The music and repetitive actions are calming. Boring. Kind of like life used to be.

I fall asleep.

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meditationadvise · 7 years

Text

How to Be Mindful 24/7

" Let's play Ramona." Those three words from my six-year-old influence a deep inner cringe (that I try to be mindful of). "Ramona" is my daughter's invented doll game, based upon the precious timeless book Beezus and Ramona by Beverly Cleary. Beezus is the "great" sis-- the dutiful, courteous, compliant daughter, while Ramona is the "bad" little sis who secures a pet dog in the washroom, scribbles in collection books, and chefs her doll in the oven.

Mira, my little girl, has exercised the game to ensure that she is Beezus and I have to act out Ramona's voice, however, did I discuss? Ramona is a mermaid doll with pink hair. Ramona endangers to do awful things like spray paint on the wall, struck individuals actually hard, and also pee on the rug. Beezus/Mira responds with horror and admonitions at Ramona's plans, and always manages to prevent the wicked intents. "Ha-ha Ramona, you cannot pee on the carpet since I sprayed magic fairy dirt on it!" "Rats," claims Ramona.

My mostly agreeable little girl is plainly delighting in acting out her shadow side, or a minimum of enjoying it acted out by me. For this reason I am ready to play this game, although that I essentially dislike it.

In order for me to play this video game all the time, I count on my best relational mindfulness abilities. I provide my little girl (as well as the dolls) a deep presence. When I get distressed or bored, which is the majority of the moment, I collaborate with my emotions. When I space out, I bring myself into today moment. I attempt to reveal up with credibility and love.

Whether or otherwise you have a child, all of us are relating, frequently. Whether it is to our companion, associates, friends, next-door neighbors, or the individual at the blog post workplace, being with an additional human being is an unbelievable possibility to exercise mindfulness, as well as we obtain to do it all the time long.

At the Mindful Recognition Study Facility, we call techniques that involve taking mindfulness "off the padding" (although most of us being in chairs) and out into the globe of talking, listening, and interacting, "relational mindfulness." Commonly mindfulness pupils claim they do not have time to exercise mindfulness in the midst of their hectic lives, but if they were to bring mindfulness right into the countless verbal communications they have throughout the day, they can be practicing mindfulness 24/7.

No one has to know what you are doing. It's a type of "stealth" mindfulness-- you could practice all day long and no one will know.

In a culture that is currently deifying interference, where people reside in a state of overwhelm, where virtual existence is considered equally as useful as actual visibility, where two-year-olds are proficient at apples iphone, where at any restaurant on any type of provided day you will see an entire family members overlooking each other while pecking at their gadgets, relational mindfulness could be a radical act, both directly and culturally.

When my colleague Dr. Marvin Belzer and I initially started showing these practices, it was with teens and university student. In among Marv's very early meditation classes at the college-level, he discovered that numerous of his students connected with a fundamental reflection method, yet some just really did not click with it. Maybe they were bored or uneasy, or really felt as well distressed to sit still. As soon as he started to present relational practices, consisting of speaking as well as listening in dyads and also triads, small groups, and also bigger team techniques, he found these hard-to-reach trainees were unexpectedly "obtaining" mindfulness. Students discovered they can focus on the here and now quickly while hearing their peers. They unwinded into an all-natural state of existence, without a great deal of initiative. And also it started to have causal sequence in their lives. While Marv continuouslied highlight the value of regular quiet meditation technique, particularly as an assistance to these relational practices, he knew by the trainees' responses that he was on to something.

Of program he was not the only one trying out such practices. We understand several various other instructors, coworkers, as well as buddies that have actually originated these kinds of practices, and also over the years we have been affected by different approaches varying from within the mindfulness area as well as the treatment world, to workshops on intimacy.

What we have actually found is relational mindfulness methods enable for a two-fold procedure. An all-natural, effortless mindfulness could arise as well as be sustained via these techniques, coupled with a deep exploration of our inner life, all assisted in via the existence of a caring witness/listener. When an individual offers their complete existence to an additional, without jumping in or aiming to take care of or transform the other's experience, amazing things could happen. And also via the high quality of attention provided to an additional, intimacy is cultivated. People feel seen, recognized, also in a dramatically short time. Often we exercise these dyad workouts for only a minute and also a half but people report intimacy, connection, as well as deepness. So how do we practice it?

Learn to Listen

Here's exactly what I see about paying attention these days. A lot of us are not so efficient it. Exactly what do we generally do when we're paying attention? Allow's put aside the increasing occurrence of individuals on their mobile phones Instagramming or texting when you're attempting to tell them something essential. Every person does other (often) subtler as well as similarly frustrating points: We reduced individuals off, we enter and attempt to "repair" people. We transform the discussion toward us considering that although what they are informing us is necessary, when the exact same thing occurred to me last Thursday it was sort of remarkable and just wait till you hear just how I managed it! We're responsive as well as lost in our responses rather of genuinely paying attention. Or we show up to be paying attention however our mind isn't really absolutely on it: Now was that dress white as well as gold or blue as well as black? ... oh, exactly what were you saying?

Yet we have actually all had the experience of being listened to by an excellent listener. There is an apparent outcome: we really feel listened to as well as recognized as well as truly seen. That individual may understand nothing regarding mindfulness, yet they are a mindful listener.

The guidelines above may be basic, but individuals have to practice them to find exactly what will certainly work best for each and every individual. Some individuals take a mindful breath once in a while. Some individuals periodically observe their feet touching the ground, or their hands on their lap, or their back versus the chair. Any physical feeling that can be easily seen and also gone back to will certainly function. For some people it could be a continuous awareness, nonetheless, for the majority of people it functions as a periodic tip to instantly come back to the present.

When I'm playing Ramona, I utilize my body to help me concentrate. I maintain my interest on my child, when I notice feelings of monotony emerging, I note them--" there's dullness"-- then go back to my center while articulating Ramona's most current escapade.

Speak Skillfully

Perhaps it's an understatement to claim we reside in a globe that is in brief supply of conscious speech, so we do not truly have clear models to go on. I specify mindful speech as speaking authentically from our heart. Usually we simply open our mouths and also let whatever comes out appeared. One friend utilized to call this "tiny mouth sounds." Frequently we talk when we want to load the area, when we're uneasy, when we don't understand just what else to do. With conscious speaking, nevertheless, words are spoken to a little bit much more treatment and also intentionality.

We could after that, every so often, verbalize exactly what it is we bear in mind. And this recognition can aid increase the ability to be a lot more mindful. For circumstances, if I'm having a discussion with a person and it's making me disappointed, I could explain in words, "Wow, I see irritation arising in me as we're chatting." This is not stated in a blaming means: "You're pissing me off!" It's regarding making mindful just what's taking place inside and after that expressing it to enhance the connection.

This requires time and technique to do masterfully, so I don't suggest delving into it. Simply begin to grow the internal awareness when you're chatting, as well as periodically make some aspect of that recognition vocally specific. It does not need to be that sophisticated: "As we discuss this I see my cheeks are getting purged." "Wow, I'm mindful of just how worn out I remain in this moment." The speech both fleshes out the mindfulness and permits the act of speaking with aid you discover more about on your own as well as what's occurring in the here and now moment. It keeps an internal recognition alive.

In my situation, I could state to my child, "Hmm, I observe my tummy hurts when I consider playing Ramona, I think I'm a little distressed since we've played it a lot today. Yet I do intend to have fun with you so I'll take a deep breath. Allow's just play for 10 minutes."

Be Mindful 24/7

So exactly how would mindful talking as well as listening work in actual time? As I claimed previously, it's not always proper for every circumstance. Occasionally curt, business-like, rather separated speech or fast sidetracked listening is all you could round up, or you merely do not have the moment. That's fine. Just exercise when the conditions feel ideal to you.

But if you choose you desire to practice it, you have limitless opportunities throughout the day. Never again will certainly you have the reason that you have no time to exercise mindfulness.

First, it's important to obtain to know just how these concepts can run for you in the real world. Not everyone is mosting likely to use every standard, as well as it's most likely you'll adapt them creatively so they really function for you. You could find paying attention is a lot less complicated and also you have extra energy for that, as well as you could just desire to provide your existence while remaining linked to your feet. Or establish a purpose to speak authentically, maintaining understanding of your internal experience in a specific situation.

No one has to understand just what you are doing. I duplicate: No person has to recognize just what you are doing. It's a type of "stealth" mindfulness-- you could practice all day as well as no person will certainly know.

Here's just what it could appear like:

Come house after work and also really hear your companion duct, without judgment, interruptions, or taking it personally.

Stay existing throughout a conference and practice deep listening even when you don't feel like it.

When a person asks you how you are, instead of reflexively stating "great," or "busy," sign in with on your own, and see what's really taking place in the moment.

Get off your phone as well as fully involve with the check-out person at the grocery store store.

The possibilities are endless.

Although individuals won't understand, they will certainly really feel the influence. Time after time trainees go back to our classes sharing how they existed wherefore seemed like the initial time with a relative and just how the family members member said on it.

As you technique, the standards might really feel initially clunky, but gradually, as you make them your very own, they will concern really feel entirely regular, they will certainly begin to be 2nd nature as well as you will certainly have symbolized them. It takes a little time making it through the trying out phase, after that practicing consistently, however with time speaking and listening this way will certainly be just "that you are."

I am aware that one of the most important thing in my relationship with my child is how I am, not just what I state or do-- although clearly these points are important. If I can remain existing, open, and connected, even during playing Ramona, I can most likely do it anywhere.

Guidelines for Conscious Listening

1) Give the speaker your full attention. This is much easier said compared to done, however merely needs an intent to do so and a little bit of determination. We could supply our existence in an unwinded means, just being there for one more. Mindfully concentrate on the individual. Allow them be your primary things of awareness.

2) Utilize your body to assist you stay present. Our body is an extraordinary entrance right into the here and now moment. Our mind could be anywhere: previous, future, lost, responsive, spaced out, imagining, pondering, mad, anxious ... however our bodies are constantly in the here and now minute. If we can remember to bring our minds into our bodies-- simply really feel a body sensation or 2-- while we are paying attention, we have instant access to the present moment.

3) When your focus stray (as well as it will certainly) simply return it to the present moment, which means hearing them. This standard is similar to how we practice our resting reflection: We concentrate on our breathing or whatever is our main object, when our mind wanders-- and also it always roams-- we carefully, but firmly, return our focus to our breath. This aspect of the method must be acquainted to any individual that practices mindfulness meditation.

Guidelines for Conscious Speaking

1) Talk authentically from our heart. Can we learn how to talk in such a way that we feel linked to our psyches, to ensure that we are sharing what holds true? Now absolutely this has to be well-timed-- we're possibly not going to bare our spirit to the barista making our coffee. But we can, in proper moments, actively consult with more intentionality and link to ourselves.

2) As with mindful listening, we can constantly go back to our bodies to come back to the present moment. When our speech gets detached, rambling, unhelpful, shed, we could take a conscious breath, or discover our bodies standing or sitting (or whatever it's doing). This can return us to the here and now minute as well as potentially renew our connection to mindful speech.

3) We could always use speech itself in order to help us be more mindful. Once again, this is time-sensitive as well as not constantly ideal in every situation, and also it's rather depending on the second standard. If we are tuned in to our body, also a bit, we could be knowledgeable about our inner life as we speak. We can see our thoughts and also emotions as well as sensibly determine when to talk and when not to speak.

Practice: Attach in Conversation

Find an eager companion. Someone will certainly speak initial and the other will certainly pay attention-- begin by choosing who. In this exercise, the initial speaker will certainly talk for 90 seconds on the topic below. The audience could nod and also smile and also show that he/ she is interested, but not interrupt. After 90 seconds, call a bell and take a silent time out to feel the influence of listening or speaking because method. Reverse duties as well as let the other person talk for 90 secs. Ring a bell, take a time out, then reconnect for a few mins (without any policies!) to share what it resembled doing the workout and also to follow up on anything you want to ask or claim based upon what your partner shared.

Use the adhering to subject: "What brings me delight?" (or develop your very own!)

Listener

Give your full interest to the other person.

Become knowledgeable about your body (breath, feet, hands, and so on) once in a while to assist stay present.

When your focus wanders, bring it back to being existing with the person.

Speaker

Speak authentically regarding just what is real for you.

Become knowledgeable about your body (breath, feet, hands, and so on) every so often to assist remain present.

Occasionally verbalize just what you know as you are talking.

#meditation #meditation classes #mindfulness meditation

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suckitsurveys · 7 years

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How many friends do you have on Facebook? I don’t know.

What was on the last sandwich you ate? Tuna, lettuce, cucumber, and tomato.

What sort of music did you listen to when you were in high school? Shit + some of the stuff I still listen to today.

Do you prefer gold or silver jewelry? Silver, though I do like gold too.

Have you ever gotten back together with an ex? Mark and I broke up for like 5 hours once.

How far away is the closest store to your house and what is it? Uh I live in the city, there are stores on like every corner.

What is your favourite Thai dish? I’ve never had Thai. <----HOW ARE YOU LIVING CHILD??????????? Thai food is THE BEST TAKEOUT hands downnnn. My favorite dishes are pad see iew and massamun curry. UGH I want some now.

How many contacts do you have in your phone? I can’t be bothered with numbers today.

When was the last time you made out with somebody? Last night.

What month of the year was your mother born? January.

Do you have any friends that seem to know all the hot gossip? Sure.

Are there any candles in your bedroom, and what scent are they? I don’t think there are any in our bedroom, but we have a honeysuckle one in the kitchen and a lavender vanilla one in the living room, along with a wax burner. We also have an oil diffuser in our bathroom.

What tv show(s) have you been watching currently? Legion and Rick and Morty are the newer ones on my list.

When was the last time you went to a birthday party? Good question....

How many apps do you have on your phone? Numbers again.

What pet names do you use with your significant other? A lot of gross ones, haha. Mostly “Babe” and “Hun” though.

Do you have to wear a name badge where you work? We’re supposed to wear our IDs to identify us out in the field but I literally just sit here all day so I never wear mine.

Do you have a dress code or have to wear a uniform where you work? No shorts or sleeveless shirts and no opened toed shoes basically.

What brand is your toaster, if you have one? I have no idea. We just got the cheapest one at Target.

Have you ever dated a smoker? If not, would you? I have. Mark is/was a smoker. He’s basically quit but he does vape every once in a while. He hasn’t picked up a cigarette in over a year.

Are there any movies you’ve seen so many times? There’s several.

What was the last thing you purchased with cash? Food, of course.

Can you hear anything right now? Yes, The computers in this room, and my coworker is playing Don’t Stop Believing by Journey.

Is there anybody else in the room you’re currently in? Yes, two coworkers.

What’s the name of the store you usually get your groceries? Jewel.

Would you rather travel to Japan or Scotland? Japan.

Does your house have a porch/balcony? There’s a porch that goes to the front door, but since our door is in the back of the building, we don’t really have access to it from the inside of the house. I do have to go up on it to get our mail though.

What’s your usual order when you go to a coffee shop? Depends on the coffee shop really. My usual order as of late has been green ice tea.

Have you ever seen a theatre show? Yes?

What was the last movie you saw and who did you watch it with? Mark and I watched True Grit (2010) with my dad and grandmother last night.

What is your mother’s first name? Janet.

Do you like to dance? Sure.

What colour is the sky right now? Blue.

Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? Nope. That would be depressing.

Have there ever been any bushfires/wildfires in your area? We had a pretty great one in 1871. #ChicagoJokes

Have you ever taken a ride in an ambulance? Nope.

How would you label your sexual orientation? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

When was the last time you took a nap during the day? A couple of weeks ago. What did you have to eat for dinner last night? Sushi.

Have you ever been a member in a band? No.

Are you double-jointed? Nah.

What was the last thing you had to drink? Green ice tea.

Do you currently have any bruises on your body? Mark saw one on the back of my thigh last night and I have no idea where it came from.

Who was the last message you received from and what did they say? My friend Lydia telling me she’d be around on Wednesday so I can drop off her birthday present.

What colour are your eyes? Green.

Do you consider your goals easily achievable or are they pretty grand? They are achievable.

When was the last time you ate Mexican food? A couple days ago.

Have you ever watched yourself on video? Yeah.

What time did you wake up today? 6am.

What time will you go to sleep tonight? Hopefully around 10.

Do you have separate emails for personal and business? Yes.

Are you the eldest, youngest or a middle child? The baby.

What’s your favourite vegetable? Zucchini.

What colours are you wearing today? Grey and black and blue jeans.

Do you have a subscription to any streaming services like Netflix? Yes, I have Netflix and I share Hulu with my friend Liz, who shares my Netflix with me. I also have Amazon.

Would you rather eat Italian or Indian food? Italian.

Are you sitting, standing or lying down right now? I’m sitting.

Have you ever missed a flight? No.

Are you someone who always needs a coffee before you can function? Nope.

Do your neighbours have any pets? Have you ever met them? I’m not sure. I’ve seen a dog bowl in the yard next to ours but no dog. Also we just met the family that’s moving in to the very top floor of our building but I don’t know if they have pets or not.

When was the last time you washed your hair? Yesterday morning.

What colour is your bedroom door? Tanish beigeish fake woodish.

#surveys

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deborahaphillips54303 · 4 years

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The 'Bon Appétit' Test Kitchen and the Myth of the Happy Workplace

The Bon Appétit Test Kitchen and its so-called "cinematic universe" has been described as follows: a "bright spot" in a "sea of garbage," the "internet's favorite cooking show," a form of "Sunday therapy," "an unstoppable force," "meme gods," and even "a Green New Deal fantasy," whatever that means.

Every night, "I check in with the chefs at Bon Appétit like I’m catching up with old friends," Louis Peitzman wrote for Buzzfeed in 2018. Another piece from earlier this year claimed the secret to Bon Appétit's YouTube success was that "everyone is just so damn likable." And having been graced with the crew's presence at the company's "Best Weekend Ever" late last year, writer and Who? Weekly host Bobby Finger recalled, "I felt not just starstruck but crazy. I mean actually deranged!"

Those are just the fawning articles. The Test Kitchen also has fan-run meme pages, an official merch store, two subreddits, and two more devoted specifically to personality Brad Leone and Gourmet Makes star Claire Saffitz. Saffitz, the kitchen's most beloved host, has been described as "the internet's collective crush," about whom people say things like "I would die for Claire" and imitate for Halloween or TikTok fame.

Man Repeller reported late last year that the channel was the fastest-growing in YouTube's food space, with more than 40 million views per month and over 5 billion total minutes watched. It currently has 6 million subscribers. As its hordes of doting fans propped the Bon Appétit Test Kitchen on the highest pedestal, the magazine's staff turned into micro-celebrities, their interpersonal dynamics became objects of obsession, and overall, the workplace was seen as a wholesome culinary ideal. What the Test Kitchen's cult of celebrity obfuscated, however, is that the Test Kitchen is just that: a workplace, like that of any other large—and therefore likely imperfect, if not problematic—institution. So honestly, what did any of us expect?

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As the world found out in industry-shaking fashion this week, the reality of the Test Kitchen isn't the bastion of good that its stans have willed it to be. Last weekend, writer Illyanna Maisonet posted an exchange with Editor-in-Chief Adam Rapoport in which he effectively told her that Puerto Rican food wasn't trendy enough for the magazine to cover, and it read as another example of the brand's diversity problem. On Monday, after writer Tammie Teclemariam posted an old photo of Rapoport and his wife Simone Shubuck dressed in costumes centered on Puerto Rican stereotypes (in the photo, which Shubuck captioned "#TBT me and my papi #boricua," Rapoport wears a silver chain and durag), staffers blew open the door on the company's toxic culture, which has been emotionally and financially unsupportive of people of color. Rapoport—who, amid claims of brownface, maintains that he did not color his skin for the image—resigned the same day.

As assistant food editor Sohla El-Waylly wrote on Instagram on Monday, not only was she hired for her role at the rate of $50,000 per year despite her 15 years of experience (and the high cost of living in New York, where the company is located), but she was "pushed in front of video as a display of diversity" and not even paid for those appearances. Per Buzzfeed, El-Waylly and other hosts of color weren't paid for their video work, which is arranged through contracts with Condé Nast Entertainment, while white video stars were compensated. As the floodgates burst open, Twitter users soon dug up drinks editor Alex Delany's old internet history, which included a 2013 Vine of him saying the F-slur, a Confederate flag cake he'd posted to Tumblr, and a series of sexist tweets.

A damning report from Business Insider on Wednesday showed how far the brand's problems extended. From conversations with 14 former and current staffers, writer Rachel Premack concluded that BA was a "locus for exclusion and toxicity." Ryan Walker-Hartshorn, Rapoport's assistant for close to three years and the only Black woman on staff, was repeatedly denied raises from her $35,300 base salary and treated by Rapoport like "the help," in her words. "There is a big difference in terms of how they monetarily value the white employees versus the people of color," El-Waylly told BI.

On YouTube, BA's channel landed at exactly the right time. Compared to other food channels, which increasingly felt over-produced, the Test Kitchen videos were less polished; they had more personality; and they made the filming and editing processes clear. BA's videos resonated philosophically as well. Saffitz's Gourmet Makes, in which she attempts to recreate popular processed foods, is visibly an arduous and frustrating multi-day process, and at Mashable, Morgan Sung described Saffitz's series as an example of "probably the healthiest, most productive way to approach issues," while Quartz called her the "ultimate life coach."

Though the Test Kitchen's transformation into a celebrity force has been good for business, it's also set things up for exactly the reckoning that's happening now.

As with the recent situation involving Alison Roman (who got her start at BA), Chrissy Teigen, and Marie Kondo, the Test Kitchen's growing popularity and prestige outside the insular food world has complicated our ability to talk about its issues with clarity. Just as the bigger conversation about Roman and who tends to profit from cooking global food (the answer: white cooks) was largely portrayed as just a celebrity "Twitter feud," the changes at BA have been framed as the oversimplified result of a "brown face photo sparking anger" or the resurfacing of a "racially insensitive photo." The celebrity culture of the Test Kitchen begets the treatment celebrities get at gossip rags: reductive, lacking in nuance, and sounding the alarm for critics of "cancel culture." It's more than that, though.

The Test Kitchen's gargantuan online presence overrode its offline truth, as it projected and leaned into what people wanted to see, which was an Office-esque sitcom in which a friendly band of coworkers snickers behind the bumbling boss's back. As writer James Factora suggested in a tweet preceding all of this, perhaps the Test Kitchen's popularity is related to the widespread obsession with The Office. While Factora's tweet reads tongue-in-cheek, it's not wrong, and the love for the show perpetuated the illusion that a toxic workplace can be laughed at and lived with.

The Office has funny moments, but in a way, it led society astray. It suggested that a bad boss who makes clumsy, insensitive comments and makes life hard for employees can be a point of humor, instead of a toxic presence that could be booted. Who does that benefit except bosses? As BA turned the Test Kitchen into essentially its own sitcom, with each cooking star becoming an Office-esque talking head, it furthered the false notion of the perfect workplace, and people online were quick to gobble it up. The interactions between co-workers, even when off-putting, became meme fodder and pushed stans to throw their support behind their chosen star.

The idea that everything gets bad once it gets big sounds like a line ripped from Portlandia, but it is a maxim that applies to everything from emo bands to hashtags to dog breeds to cooking hosts. The higher the platform we give something, the more it can fall, and the discourse around the Test Kitchen seemed unprecedented in its fawning, at least within the food sphere. (Though we might have learned from situations like the downfall of Mario Batali.)

When we laud any product or person to this extent and make it an object of cultural obsession, it becomes easier to ignore the flaws and the parts of the conversation that don't fit what we want to see. This is true for the Test Kitchen, which could never really have met the inflated expectations of goodness that stan culture built up around it; people saw the perfect workplace because they wanted a perfect workplace. The problems at BA are institutional, but stan culture allowed people to compartmentalize the Test Kitchen as something separate and authentic.

In response to all of this, BA's parent company Condé Nast—a 111-year-old company with 6,000 employees globally at the start of this year—has announced that it will be "accelerating" its first ever diversity and inclusion report. On Tuesday, Amanda Shapiro, the editor of BA's Healthyish spinoff, became the brand's acting deputy director, and on Wednesday, the editors of BA said in a statement, "We want to be transparent, accountable, and active as we begin to dismantle racism at our brands."

Still, former staffers have identified Shapiro and other remaining BA employees as complicit in "toxic" behaviors. Despite calls for Matt Duckor, Condé Nast's head of programming for lifestyle and style, to step down over the unfair pay system and his mocking tweets about the gay community, he remains employed, as does Alex Delany. Both of them have issued social media apologies. With this new context, though, the joking tweets and fawning memes about the Test Kitchen don't hold up as well.

No surprise, Test Kitchen stans have responded to this all with even more memes and lionizing statements: "Update: we went to war for Sohla from the Bon Appétit test kitchen," reads one popular tweet. The height of the pedestal hasn't changed, though who's on the pedestal has. But as Bon Appétit changes, will its fan culture change also? To grapple with all of this new knowledge, it should.

Follow Bettina Makalintal on Twitter.

via VICE US - undefined US VICE US - undefined US via Mom's Kitchen Recipe Network Mom's Kitchen Recipe Network

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cyberpoetryballoon · 4 years

Text

The 'Bon Appétit' Test Kitchen and the Myth of the Happy Workplace

twitter

Though the Test Kitchen's transformation into a celebrity force has been good for business, it's also set things up for exactly the reckoning that's happening now.

Follow Bettina Makalintal on Twitter.

via VICE US - undefined US VICE US - undefined US via Mom's Kitchen Recipe Network Mom's Kitchen Recipe Network

0 notes

carolrhackett85282 · 4 years

Text

The 'Bon Appétit' Test Kitchen and the Myth of the Happy Workplace

twitter

Though the Test Kitchen's transformation into a celebrity force has been good for business, it's also set things up for exactly the reckoning that's happening now.

Follow Bettina Makalintal on Twitter.

via VICE US - undefined US VICE US - undefined US via Mom's Kitchen Recipe Network Mom's Kitchen Recipe Network

0 notes