#sentences that out of context make zero sense

[mistressemmedi]

I can't believe FIA wants to investigate and penalize Charles. Man's only crime was to be the meat in the worst sandwich of the world

[repressedqueen]

I'm GAGGED

He looks so soft 🥹🥹

I am vibrating !! I want to watch NOW!!! I wish I wasn't such a good best friend 😭

[raintranslated]

Complete Best Regret Messages: Kallen

Read on Dreamwidth!

Extolling the Brave Chivalry of Youth[1]

Before I met you, I was really just irritated. I thought: "I want to change the world[2]," but though I lashed out, recklessly, I didn't actually believe I would be able to change anything.

When I lost my brother, it was like a heavy door had slammed shut behind me. I wasn't going to let that go. I'd fight to the bitter end. There'd be no going back, I decided. And then, someday, I'd die — just like my brother had. To the end, Kouzuki Kallen would follow no leader, serve no master[3]. Dimly, I'd thought that small, stubborn pride would be the end of me. But then: like a morning star coming into view, you called for me[4].

Whenever I was doing something for your sake, I felt lighter. No battle was too difficult. Whenever you directed us to a battlefield, I came running, wanting to be the first one there[5]. I wanted to become a lion, to rip your enemies apart with my teeth. To dirty myself with any amount of muck[6], so long as it cleared the way for you.

It's strange, really, if you think about it. It was supposed to be about loathing — and fighting against — Britannian despotism, but before I knew it, I had all this personal loyalty to you[7].

Hey, Lelouch. That last moment we had together, with that kiss… Well, if you'd said I love you[8] back then, it wouldn't have mattered if it was a lie — I still would have followed you all the way into your personal hell. But you already knew that, didn't you?

Not very characteristic of you, was it. Wasn't manipulating people by saying that sort of thing one of your talents…? Yeah, that was so uncharacteristically… gentle.[9] Is that what you were trying to say, when you told me to live on…?

Even though that sort of gentleness isn't at all why I fell for you[10], heh[11].

Translation notes below the cut. Original Japanese text for you to check yourself transcribed from the above image available at my Dreamwidth link.

[1] This is the title of the first ending theme; other regret messages similarly take their titles from theme songs. This was released as part of an Original Soundtrack CD, after all. [2] 現実=reality, to be more literal. [3] 支配者たちに従わなかった = serve/follow/obey no masters/leaders/rulers. IMHO this use of たち makes perfect sense in Japanese, but "serve no masters" sounds somewhat grammatically awkward. Importantly, given what Kallen is about to talk about, I think she's speaking somewhat ironically about how she'd made this small vow to herself, but was about to wind up following/serving/etc Zero. [4] The verb, 誘う, means to invite or to call for or to take someone along (and also to tempt/lure/entice/seduce); in this case, I think Kallen is referring both literally and metaphorically to Lelouch suddenly calling her on the radio in Stage 2 and guiding her to victory. [5] Sudden volitional form on this and the next three lines, indicating (in this context) Kallen's strong intention to do [whatever]. The switch here to present-tense isn't literal, but rather a common device in Japanese writing to add a sense of emphasis and immediacy, sort of like when an English sentence begins with "Suddenly…!" [6] Given the "title", likely a bit of a reference to the lyric 混濁の純潔この身は汚れても / Even if my purity is sullied and this self is dirtied. [7] だもの is a sentence ending that indicates a reason in a tone of protest, such as 14歳だものね = "You're fourteen," where the speaker is probably pointing out that the person they're talking to is too young (to stay out late, or whatever). In this case, the はずなのに + んだもの is definitely a complaint. She should have been focused on the larger war, but she wound up more focused on her personal loyalty to "Lelouch, ugh" — sort of a sentiment. (Though, I'm sure, affectionate now.) [8] Strong, dramatic phrasing here, because such strong dramatic phrasing would have swept Kallen off her feet and convinced her, as she elucidates, to follow him anywhere — even if it meant throwing away her morals and working for what she thought, at the time, was a mad tyrant. (Claims I've seen about this line, that Kallen wouldn't have even imagined Lelouch saying it hypothetically if she hadn't been completely sure he loved her — are extremely weird and based on nothing at all, lol.) [9] Again, the present-tense here adding emphasis. [10] 好きになった=to come to care about, to learn to like, to fall in love with. This phrase is used platonically as well as romantically (you can, for example, talk about developing a taste for beer this way). Kallen almost certainly means it romantically, of course, given all the givens — but she's not necessarily talking about deep love; this wording could very easily be a crush. [11] This and "Well" and a couple of other little flourishes have been added to the English in an attempt to convey the very casual tone of Kallen's entire message, which is full to the brim with ね: like she's talking casually, albeit in a heartfelt way, to a friend (or perhaps a boyfriend! if you want to interpret it that way!) — rather than writing a dramatic letter.

[haithhegimp]

RHATO has terrible writing (a collection)

most of us know that red hood and the outlaws has horrible writing, but i don't think people who haven't read it realise how bad it is. because even without mischaracterization, even without garbage plot, even without nonsensical story beats-- the very quality of the writing is terrible. here is a collection of things that wouldve been corrected by the most ameteaur proofreader out there and somehow made it into a real official canon DC book. (up till issue 4 of the 2011 version, i will almost definitely be making more installments of this)

(1)

[Red Hood and The Outlaws (2011) #2]

i... think that was supposed to be a pun on smooth but it makes absolutely no fucking sense and jason's reply makes even less sense. if roy is calling jason smooth, what the fuck does move have to do with it? is it implying that jason put a move/flirted with the woman who gave him her number???? because jason didn't, and roy knows that. so then what is the move supposed to mean here? and i assume that the joke in jason's reply is supposed to be that there is nothing sounding like a "you" in traction, but like what the fuck does he mean by "traction"???? these are the definitions of traction according to oxford dictionary

and absolutely none of them make a lick of sense in this context.

(2)

[Red Hood and The Outlaws (2011) #2]

con air is a 1997 american film about millitary whatever-the-fuck. either this is a reference to something in the film, or this is for some reason using filipino slang for an air conditioner. to my understanding, con air is not a classic american film that americans reference often or would know about casually, and even if it was the joke would be excluding an extremely large audience of dc that is outside of the US. my point being, why the fuck are you putting semi-obscure movie references into a comic that is very mainstream and almost definitely for international audiences, scott? i could read the plot of the film or watch the film to see if its even a valid reference but fuck that im proving my own point here as an international reader who doesn't understand what the hell this is supposed to mean even after fucking LOOKING IT UP. IF YOURE WRITING A MAINSTREAM COMIC WITH WHAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE VERY COMPREHENDABLE LANGUAGE, ABSOLUTELY NO ONE SHOULD BE LOOKING SHIT UP TO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

[Red Hood and The Outlaws (2011) #2]

there are so many horrible things about this dialogue exchange that i feel like im having aneurysm. we'll start with suzie. these are the definitions of a homestead

absolutely none of them correspond or make sense to be used for the fancy high-rise hotel-like building that jason owns and they are currently in, nor does it make sense as being slang for a home because they are in HONG KONG and the word comes from oceania, north america, and south africa. not to mention "gone and come back" is just bad fucking wording. its clunky and confusing, is she saying that he's left and returned? or is she using "gone and" to express annoyance at jason returning to hong kong? it doesn't really matter in terms of overall understanding but its little things like that which fuck up the flow of reading.

moving on, a fainting couch is couch with a back raised on one end, it is popularly speculated that the fainting couch got its name due to victorian women feeling faint due to tight corsets-- although the name wasn't seen in usage until the 20th century. i genuinely have no fucking clue what suzie is talking about whatsoever when she refers to having one. it makes less than zero sense to me.

and finally for suzie, the progression of the sentence makes no fucking sense. "as i live and breathe! jason has gone and come back to the homestead, and me without my fainting couch!" what the fuck is that???? she starts with an exclamation of surprise, follows it with someone doing something in noun verb noun format, and then continues with someone lacking something in noun adjective noun format??? thats just not how sentences work? at least not good sentences. like regardless of the fact that what she's saying makes no sense, at least the correct way of saying it would be something like "as i live and breath! jason has gone and come back to the homstead, and i'm without my fainting couch!" or something like "jason, back in the homestead, and me without my fainting couch!" having two different structures in the same sentence is awkward and weird.

and MOVING ON to jason's line. here are the definitions of undercarriage

first of all, what the fuck is the scent of undercarriage??????? i genuinely have no fucking clue what in the hell that's supposed to be. and second of all, what is undercarriage supposed to be in this context???????? im so fucking confused i dont understand this line whatsoever.

(3)

[Red Hood and The Outlaws (2011) #2]

"fry my bucket" is not a real phrase, scott.

(4)

[Red Hood and The Outlaws (2011) #3]

sublingual doesn't mean what you think it means, scott.

(5)

[Red Hood and The Outlaws (2011) #4]

im so fucking confused. what the hell does "a xenophobe. not many of them around." even mean?? its one of those things that almost makes sense if you give it a quick glanceover but is absolutely bonkers if you look at it for more than one second. is kori saying that xenophobes are rare???????? what?? no they are not????????

(6)

[Red Hood and The Outlaws (2011) #4]

the race of people living on tamaran are called tamaraneans. scott knows this. he has used "tamaranean" in other places, i don't know how or why the person that has supposedly been stalking and researching aliens for the past five years of his life would say "tamaran" instead of "tamaranean". this is the equivalent of an alien in fiction saying "earth" instead of "earthling" or "human". im not rereading this shit but im also 80% sure that the guy has said "tamaranean" before, so i dont know what happened here.

(7)

[Red Hood and The Outlaws (2011) #4]

here is the definition of clandestine.

either these University Scientists were conducting illegal experiments and that is just never brought up or mentioned or expanded on again (which is shitty writing in a different way), or that word doesn't mean whatever you think it means, scott.

(8)

[Red Hood and The Outlaws (2011) #4]

here is the definiton of transubstantiation.

a transsubstantiator (which, why are there two "s" between trans and sub when the base word only has one?) is fictional and fake, so i suppose that its technically fine to use the word for whatever he wants but i still think its fucking stupid, and this is MY list/collection. (btw the machine was supposed to take away kori's powers. and im not christian or an expert on christianity but i dont think thats what the base word is supposed to be about.)

(9)

[Red Hood and The Outlaws (2011) #4]

jason's response here is one of things that almost makes sense, but doesn't if you look at it for more than one second. what the fuck does he mean by "unless there's anyplace hotter."?? like is he saying that he wants to go to a hot place after he dies? that heat is bad and so if there was a more hot place he'd be going there? i really don't know, and i don't understand.

(10)

[Red Hood and The Outlaws (2011) #4]

the fact that his monologue is split between boxes tricks the reader into thinking it makes sense so i'm going to write it out for yall to understand that it does Not.

"I prepared for this night years ago. A year of training under the All-Caste. A night none of us believed would ever happen. Why am I so happy? Because I know I'm ready. Who knows? Maybe I was born ready."

that just... is nonsensical. first he goes on about training and being prepared and then he immediately contradicts himself by saying "maybe i was born ready". the "why am i so happy" comes out of nowhere, it's extremely vague whether he's talking to the reader as if they are questioning him or if he's wondering that about himself. the "because i know im ready" doesn't even answer the question that came out of nowhere, readiness has nothing to do with being happy??? this entire speech is so bullshitted together, all that without even my personal opinion that "maybe i was born ready" is just a bad line.

------------

that is all i have for now, i am 100% making more parts to this because rhato is a hate-comfort comic that i like to read and scream at whenever i feel like it. also just a side note because i am aware that a lot of us do this, it makes me uncomfortable to threaten actual injury or death towards real people, even as a joke, so i would appreciate it if none of you reblogged or replied with that kinda stuff towards any of the rhato creators on this post (or any of my posts). hope you enjoyed if you read the whole way through, have a nice day!

[unknowable-known]

What do you mean by this, Sir?

I beseech there’s to elaborate. Thy humble student understands not the sentence in the context we’re discussing.

https://www.tumblr.com/unknowable-known/775238129644912640/sir-if-there-is-a-dangerous-situation-that-i

Sir,

I am a relatively reserved shit poster and reply guy, and ultimately I am "you" and no one. I have no students, I am not a teacher. We're just talking about the conceptually unknowable reality/experience of our nature here

I mean this literally. There are no actual dangers. You are transcended "infinitely" already.

You are "ultimate safety and relaxation" already

If this is all the case then why would I give you pointers on how to evade dangers? Literally just let the evasion happen. There is absolutely no HOW or why🌊 we can make up all the whys and hows in the illusory infinite universe, but it doesn't matter...it's "THATs" will, "your" true will. And you can know yourself whenever

When you see beyond the ramblings of the "mental complex" and not take the oddly reciprocated appearance of things so seriously, these apparent dangers can morph away. It's not that there is actually dangerous and safe. Because you are "THAT" you just ARE. No this or that. Just being. Just zero. It's even less specific than "1"

But fr why is this experience with a seeming "you" reading about this stuff? This is just a dream "playing out," go with the flow, have fun. Seem to evade so called "dangers" it's all the same dream anyway. Nothing can ever truly harm you, you are not the dream, the dream is of you...

(This is in no way endorsing doing anything risky😭)

Digg a little. See how all the illusory senses are of the same thing. You can literally "see" this...smell and sight - same thing. See how the apparent perception of space and other people are the same as tasting with your tongue, or feeling with your nerves. It's all THAT, all "yourSELF," all pure awareness, the eternal now

It's that simple, just take a peek. Let the mind be, just be.

You just seem to not evade dangers because that's what you're aware of

[indierpgnewsletter]

Games of the Year

Today, I join the proud tradition of making up award categories as an excuse to talk about games (shoutout to the Ramanan Sivaranjan Awards for Excellence in Gaming).

Game That Made My Brain Ask “What The Hell Is Going On“: Mobile Frame Zero: Firebrands

There’s a mini-game in this Bakers’ gem which is about open violence. It’s the one you play when two groups are in a fire fight – when your faction or squad is attacking another. Normally, when this happens in other games, each side takes turns attacking the other until they win. That is a sentence that is almost absurdly self-evident. In Firebrands, each player takes turns narrating how the other side kills one member of their squad. So I narrate how Vincent Baker’s faction kills one of my squad and then he narrates how my faction kills one of his squad. We go back and forth, narrating how our squad is decimated until the other side retreats or submits. It doesn’t make any sense. It makes perfect sense. You should try it and report back on how your brain feels.

Best Self-Declared “I’m a Good GM” Moment: Last Fleet

Story time! Last Fleet is a game about the last of humanity fleeing an alien horde. I’m running the game and a character named Gabe Roma is talking to an NPC to get something. The player rolls a mixed result. I narrate how the NPC turns to Gabe and says, “Dr Roma, you already asked me for this last night”. You see, Gabe Roma is an infiltrator but he doesn’t know it. During the day, he goes around like a normal person. But at night, his secret programming kicks in. He essentially sleepwalks into committing acts of sabotage for humanity’s alien enemies. Anyway, the magic of that moment is that its happening on two levels: the player is shocked to learn that their character has done something without them knowing, which mirrors the shock that the character is feeling. Perfection. It’s weird to pat myself on the back but somebody’s got to do it.

Game That Shouldn’t Exist: Yazeba’s Bed and Breakfast

There’s a lot of talk about this hobby being full of collectors and art objects. But I didn’t really get it till this book came out. For me, this book really feels like the current pinnacle of what is possible in terms of turning a book into a work of art. Any single example doesn’t quite capture the achievement. It’s the grander vision that permeates every aspect of the game and book’s design that is so intimidating. It’s a work of skill and craft and such maximalism that it almost sank the publisher. Do I own the physical copy? No. Is it my kind of game? Not really. Do I respect the hell out of it? YES. I fully expect this to be a game that we talk about for years.

Game I Would Review Most Differently From Quinns Quest: Wildsea

Wildsea received a glowing review from Quinns earlier this year but it never got much of a write-up in this newsletter because all the best parts of the campaign I ran came from outside the game text. This is the designer’s first game and in that context, it’s a real achievement. The setting is the game’s strength and tends to be how the game is pitched. But a lot of the discussion about the game is its system design, which simply doesn’t live up to the praise. It’s not bad – just very clearly someone’s first game. I sometimes think about covering myself in grease and diving into the nuts and bolts of how the mechanics could better support the game. But it would be a lot of work and it’s not clear if either the designer or readers would appreciate that so for now, this is it. All in all, I hope the game gets a second edition in a couple years.

Game That Make Holding Hands Very Exciting Indeed: Hearts of Wulin + Numberless Secrets

We’ve played more than 10 sessions of Hearts of Wulin, maybe closer to 12 or 14. And we’ve got a bunch more coming up next year. Like a lot of PbtA games, it’s driven by an understanding of the genre assumptions (melodrama) and a couple of core moves. All of the melodrama is driven by entanglements, which ask you to tie yourself into triangle, romantic or otherwise. Then, there’s the Inner Conflict move that helps you keep the melodrama high. And finally, there’s the very understated Study move, which helps you gather clues to solve the mystery, understand opponents before fighting them, and also, if you want, just add details, big and small, to the world. It’s not a perfect game – I have various quibbles with it. Like Last Fleet and Pasion de la Pasiones, these games do need some amount of player practice to really sing. But what it does with its design, it does tremendously well. My games have had me laughing and swearing and dreaming about them between sessions.

[exaltedfuzz]

Goddammit, your last lanamia comic made me cry.. What master storytelling spirits are you channeling that make you know these characters better than the original writers?

Deepest apologies... I have worse planned. Poor Mia. (and Lana... but you'll see why I say poor Mia soon enough, I hope...)

As for writing characters, it really helps to talk to yourself in their "voices" to try and figure them out. Mumble to yourself when you're cooking, when you're walking and nobody's around, but also listen to people speak. When you put what you know into dialogue it sounds way less phony than if you're purely trying to advance plot with ham-fisted exposition... Though you need a bit of that too, if you're trying to drive something. It's good to write stuff down in a script, get a recording app out, say it all (put on a different voice for each character, why not?) and when you stumble over the sentences because they suck to say out loud, rewrite them so they don't. Your most powerful tool in writing speech is speaking. 

Think about the context too, it's dead important. Surrounding events and characters are what keep things grounded... Nothing exists in a vacuum. It's really useful that AA has such a packed world, with so many characters in proximity. Makes it easier to de-vacuum things. I guess the same is true for most fan works. 

Having a start and end point really helps. But, more so in a sense of "where is this character at the start of this scene, and what do they want to achieve". When you're writing "aspirationally" like this, you can get into the groove better than if you have a point A and a point B that you are looking to get to overall. And then considering the dynamics between the characters and taking that into account when understanding how those goals may be compromised, ignored, pushed for... Who has the most power in a scene generally decides what goal is pushed towards. 

Another thing is focalised narrative. Usually when I'm doing these comics (at the moment), I follow Lana, and most of the emotional core is in her reactions to things. You don't want to zero in too much to one character, or you'll end up flattening the rest, but having a core character is a good way to keep things simple. It's tempting to just chuck as many characters as you can into something, but you have to remember that you're then going to have to have them all exist... 

Also, honestly, going back to the source text plenty, and with an eye for specifics, is really useful. Take note of how characters refer to each other, which is a huge thing in AA specifically... And also what humanity is in them. For Lana, for instance, she's quite witty, and quick to make light of herself with that wittiness. ("Oh, this? I cut myself by accident. When I stabbed him, that is. I'm not very good at being a criminal, I suppose.") I try to put this slightly irritating joking into how I write her. With Ace Attorney characters, you're looking at them at very intense points in their "lives", so they're probably acting differently to normal, but picking up on these little things can make all the difference. Obviously, as well, there’s the “that… was probably why she was attracted to me” line. I take this as a reluctance to publicly acknowledge the mutuality of said attraction… (“Intellectually” seems like a Lana-ism to deflect that Ema picked up, to me. Lana doesn’t seem to be very comfortable with who she is in general. She wears her King of Prosecutors medals when Edgeworth seems to think the award is tacky, and even Manfred, obsessed with achievement and perfection, and apparently winner of multiple King awards, doesn’t display his medals. Obviously this is because when they were designed, it was before the idea of King of Prosecutors existed, but I think that Lana pinning her achievements to her chest where they can clearly be seen in order to convince to both those around her and, more pressingly, to herself, that she is competent is interesting.) Her own goals also always come second to Ema. I think she’s probably felt quite suffocated by having to spend her whole adulthood so far being a mother to her.I have a lot of thoughts on her as a character, both in the context of lanamia and outwith. She’s very compelling to me, and although most of the time when I'm drawing her, it's the "used to be so gentle, always smiling" Lana that we never actually see in game, I want to push some of these key aspects of her in game identity into her, so I interpret that "gentleness" as a slight nervousness, and that "always smiling" as something mostly for Ema's sake, so she doesn't have to see her rock crumble, so to speak. Anyway, that's enough on her...

I don't know if you really wanted my dialogue writing tips, but anyway. There they are. I wrote way more than I meant to, so sorry about that, haha! Hope some of this could be useful.

I don't know that I know the characters better than their creators... I only hope I'm doing them and the stories I think they could have lived in justice. Thank you very much for the ask, haha!

[housemdork]

Good Evening. it's joan cuddytism-suckerpumch. i have Many "House is Queer" thoughts. this is gonna be a long one lol sorry!

i've said this probably a million times before, but i feel that house md plays with queerness a lot. i think house as a self described 'freak' really leans into this. self-identification is quite important in terms of queerness, is it not? house seems to see himself reflected most with those who are clear outsiders (people he calls freaks) in terms of our social norms (eg. hunting, merry little christmas.) this lends well to queer viewers seeing ourselves in him. when you've been othered because of this queer part of you, especially if you've learned to attach this otheredness to your sense of self, seeing a character on screen do the same unabashedly, even if not in this intended context, is just going to lead you to read him that way. it feels inevitable!

we also have to take trying to define queerness into account here. because i personally have a very loose view of what constitutes queerness. to me, being queer is not just about being same gender attracted or being gender variant. it's about deviance from societal norms. which i think house is pretty firmly depicted as such. but i know that this question is moreso about the gender/sexuality side of things, so i'll try to keep focused on that.

house's proximity to queerness is lampshaded so often in the show. his codependent homosocial relationship with wilson being at the forefront, but i think his closeness with thirteen can also fall into this as well. we must ask ourselves why exactly house finds himself so drawn to thirteen (our only canonical queer main character), in a way that is -- predominantly -- depicted as non-sexual, in a show where practically every female character is treated as a potential love interest for him. i think there is absolutely something to be said about queer camaraderie there, in addition to their respective disabilities.

and on the topic of disability, i think there is perhaps a case to be made for disability paralleling queerness in the show. I KNOW I KNOW THAT'S A STRANGE SENTENCE. but walk with me. when we look at our disabled main characters, we see a pattern of the queer(/coded) characters of thirteen and house, as well as the characters of cuddy (infertility is a disability!) and amber (had she lived post-HH/WH she very likely would have been disabled in a similar way to house due to her leg injury) whose main storylines serve to queer the narrative of gender within the show. and then later, wilson, who is... obvious. all of these characters not only have a proximity to queerness within their traits and storylines, but are -- perhaps inarguably -- the characters that address it the most out of the entire cast. but perhaps i'm getting a bit ahead of myself there.

in terms of the more overt, less thematic stuff, there's the clear pattern of using the house-wilson dynamic to parallel that of romantic relationships within the show; love will make you do wrong in clueless & the drop-off in both sides now come to mind. the fact that wilson is the only non love interest that house says "i love you" to (97 seconds). even if these things are often written off as jokes or may not have necessarily been intended to come off as romantic in nature, they seldom feel like moments between two cishet guys with a totally platonic friendship. even i, as someone who doesn't care for house-wilson in a romantic context, can recognize this.

i personally have little thoughts/feelings about house as any specific label; i don't concern myself with that side of things, i much prefer looking into the thematic affect rather than having proof-of-label. but all of this is to say that i feel like it's pretty impossible to view house as a character with zero proximity to queerness. because i feel like even with the amount i've written, i've barely scratched the surface!

thank you for your time lol i hope this all makes sense!!!

oh boy this is so wonderful.

i agree with all of the above and then some, but i want to draw specific attention to the relationship you draw between disability and queerness. that's not strange to read at all - i think it's right on the mark! that comes up throughout house md - despite depending on his misanthropy, house consistently finds ways to relate to his patients, often by way of his disability. in a world where to be queer means solidarity (imo!), that's huge. i saw this really strong in 2x07 "hunting" where the patient's homosexuality is equivocated, if not subtly, to house being "queered" via his disability.

i need your thesis on amber and cuddy's impact on gender representation in the show - RIGHT NOW! i love the connection that house and thirteen make on that note of solidarity (truly, that makes it all BUT canon atp), but i'd never considered that added dimension with amber and cuddy. the solidarity/respect house has for them both - while vastly different - rings true of some Visibility, ya know? at least at some meta narrative level. i am putting that in my pocket for later; thank you!!

overall i really really like your fixation on "proximity." that's such a good way to put it. the show's structure is obv to revolve around its titular character, so to make him off-kilter, to "queer" him in whatever way we identify, makes for a subversive story from the jump.

THANK YOU, USER CUDDY-TISM!

[this was in response to my call-for-asks about reading house as queer, which you can find here!]

[besttropeveershowdown]

The Most Annoying Trope Showdown: Semifinals, Poll 2

Out-of-Context Eavesdropping

Someone overhears a conversation and, lacking the full context, misinterprets it as something more serious.

Propaganda:

I hate all miscommunication tropes but this is the one that makes me want to strangle people the most. "we need to fabricate a reason for A and B to hate each other, but not one based on their actual personalities or situation. Instead, Person A talks about something personal and important, but they decide to word it in the dumbest way possible. Person B decides to listen in on a private conversation and then gets so mad at this stuff they weren't supposed to hear that they don't even listen to the final sentence that completely recontextualises the whole conversation. also 90% of the time A would never express feelings this way AND B would never snoop this way. just poor writing to inspire the world's most insipid conflict between morons.

Pair the Spares

Every or nearly every character who did not get together with someone during the story is paired off in the epilogue or very end. The characters are often shown having kids together as well

Propaganda:

This may just be my aromanticism talking, but it's annoying seeing everyone getting shoved into a relationship at the last minute. It doesn't even make sense most of the time. Let! People! Be! Happy! Single!

I am aroace and I hate this. just let them be happy on their own, don't just pair up characters for the sake of pairing them up, even if they have zero chemistry. this happens so often in all kinds of media, and fandom is also guilty of this. not everyone needs a partner! leave them alone!

I love romantic subplots but this is just amatonormative bullshit. It has all of the "romantic partner=happy ending" bullshit that fucks people up in real life, with none of the fluttery crush feelings or the angsty decisions. It doesn't add anything to the character arcs and is only detrimental to the themes of a work as a whole. It can cast a shadow over other romantic subplots in the series I might have enjoyed up until this point, because I start to wonder if those romances were really about the character/themes/plot, or if the writers simply think "leading lady goes with leading man, sidekick with sidekick, etc. etc."

It's fucking stupid. A lot of the characters that end up together either barely interact, make no sense or both. It also implies the only happy ending requires love and marriage. It makes no sense for some of the characters to want to settle down and have kids even if they are with someone they love.

[spiritsglade]

for that dvd commentary ask thing, from the latest fic!!

He knows how he managed it, this time, but it still doesn't feel real. His limbs are numb and he can barely hear the clack of the teeth in his mouth, clattering against each other. The winter air burns in his lungs and with every breath it's like he can feel his body a little less.

He looks up at the stars. He thinks maybe if he knew the constellations, he'd have figured it out earlier. They move throughout the year, don't they?

So what if he doesn't know? What if he died again? He's alive now, Bruce is coming, and the sky above is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

for context, this is about my fic redux.

i wrote the first draft of this entire fic on the notes app of my phone at a christmas house party thing on… i want to say the 21st? i was very close to deleting the entire second half of the fic after the divider, and ending the first on something similar to that last little line ("the sky above is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.") the only reason i kept it was literally just because i already shoved too many immortal jason todd foreshadowing bits into the first half and having them there without any payoff felt silly. but it was supposed no bruce, no batfam at all!! because the core of what i wanted to communicate with the fic was really captured in an earlier line: "He doesn't remember this part last time, the part where he's here and alive and the world feels impossibly open." [yes i was heavily considering cutting the superhero rpf. i will gladly kill my darlings!! (unfortunately this is a lie, seeing as i caved in the end.)]

because last time breaking out of the grave was only the beginning of jason todd's journey through hell. the hospital, the convalescent home, the streets, league training lazarus pit etc. there's a very frenetic energy to his first resurrection? he keeps going and going and going. time keeps slipping by he's catatonic and then he's fueled by rage, the entire timeline is filled in from retrospect. when under the hood first came out, it did not fucking matter how he came back to life, it only mattered that he came back (and came back wrong). which is to say, jason never got the chance to just. revel in being alive again? we're too busy playing out his revenge tragedy. he never had a moment where he could appreciate everything being alive offers that the nothingness of death does not. zero opportunity to sit and breathe. and i wanted to give him that.

that was, at conception, the point of the fic. i feel like it's a little weakened because now instead it's about bruce fucking wayne again but whatever i'll get over it.

okay a break down of the lines:

He knows how he managed it, this time, but it still doesn't feel real.

i'm gonna be for real, this is here because him being able to break out of a professional, expensive hardwood coffin six feet under while it's RAINING and he has FRESH injuries from the crowbar + explosion? literally fucking impossible. realistically he would have asphyxiated in there again within an hour and superboy punching the universe would have changed absolutely nothing. jason doesn't know how he managed to crawl out of his grave last time. the author doesn't know, either. but it makes sense how he managed it this time!!! i did my research!!

it does not feel real because it's still taking him time to process that he died again + probably the hypothermia's playing a part in that.

His limbs are numb and he can barely hear the clack of the teeth in his mouth, clattering against each other. The winter air burns in his lungs and with every breath it's like he can feel his body a little less.

Just descriptions of him being cold <3 and dying of hypothermia <3 i really enjoy descriptive writing. i probably could have edited it further to improve the flow of the sentences but. yeagh. cold air hurts my throat so bad it's upsetting.

He looks up at the stars. He thinks maybe if he knew the constellations, he'd have figured it out earlier. They move throughout the year, don't they?

jason does not know his constellations propaganda. i just think this city boy should get to witness the sky a little more often!! i don't know if you've seen those photos of how the sky looks with zero light pollution. personally, i will believe that's how it looks when i see it with my own two eyes. in the meantime, even my suburban hell has a pretty sky that is leagues better than what you'd get in pollution central.

So what if he doesn't know? What if he died again? He's alive now, Bruce is coming, and the sky above is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

this is feeding back into the original point of the fic. he wasn't alive before, sure but he is now!! live in the moment and appreciate it!

bruce is coming because i cannot fucking escape this asshole. if i write about jason he's always there hovering on the peripheral until i am forced to acknowledge him.

(sidenote: this is why he and jason have a face to face meeting in lies of omission ch.7 instead of the original plan, which would have saved any sort of confrontation between them for chapter like… 20. bruce just demands space. he's so annoying. go away.)

anyway this fic is pro-batfam and pro-bruce, which means! bruce coming is a good thing! it's a change to the ending of his death [bruce was too late] and his first resurrection [all the near misses that prevented bruce from finding him]. like in some ways this is meant to be an opposite thesis to then batman kills his son. if you squint. this time bruce will be here when jason needs him!!

i could not fit it in easily so i gave up, but bruce here has been forcibly benched in the cave, stuck running comms, due to injury. that's why it takes him all of 2 seconds to get on a batplane directly to jason's location.

and again stars are pretty propaganda. like guys i am so serious go out and look at the sky. i am an unironic 'do you like the color of the sky' post liker. i like that post so fucking much. you don't understand. the sky. guys. it can be blue and orange and pink and yellow and the stars and there are so many different kinds of clouds i don't think you understand how gorgeous it can be and and- gets shot

anyway.

this fic is a second resurrection for jason, one that is different from the first in every way that matters.

bruce wayne also had a support system this time so he didn't fall the fuck apart like the last time jason died <3 i didn't really have an exact figure in mind for how long jason's been dead but it's somewhere between 3-6 months. from their perspective, he straight up disappeared after a fight, so there's this weird mix of thinking he's dead but holding out hope that he'll come back. the grief is still very much present but they've managed to hold themselves together because they have each other! waves my hands around vaguely can you see where the title came from.

hm. in conclusion. being alive is pretty awesome. i recommend.

[slightecho]

Out of Context WIPS

Rules: if you're tagged, make a new post and share one or two sentences (or lines for artists) from your most recent unposted WIP with zero context.

I got tagged by @fynn-arcana !! Thank yoooouu friendddd 😆🫶

This is from the chapter I’m currently writing for Ashes, so I guess this will double as a preview of sorts lmao. I did three sentences, which is a little bit more than was asked, but oh well 🤪 the full paragraph was only three sentences so it didn’t make sense to cut the last one off.

This time, the sound wasn’t just clanging, but crashing as Hunter unceremoniously let go of the bar without letting them down easily. His hands slipping as his stomach suddenly cramped up in intense pain, jolting through him with a yelp. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Wrath quickly reached forward to put a hand on Hunter’s shoulder, steadying him as he collapsed forward, desperate to just get a break.

Sorry it wasn’t more happy go lucky 🤭 that’s just where we’re at!

Tagging: @silvvergears @childlikegoblinqueen @threegoblinart @oh-cramity-its-amity @unniebeans @daydreams-and-honeybees and anyone else who might want to! Sorry if I forgot anyone!

[brofightiscancelled]

hi! i just have a quick question about the literal translation you made of the dialogue of pizza. when he says "the true nature is still unknown to you" is he referring to karamatsu's true nature? like, is he saying that karamatsu doesn't know his true nature? or is he saying that the true nature of karamatsu's thoughts are unknown to him? OR is he saying that the true nature of karamatsu's exclusiveness (closer to the official tl) is unknown to him? also thank you so much for the tls of karamatsu's brand new world!

short answer: it's not stated, so it's up to your interpretation! this is a grammar translation quirk; in japanese, sentences often don't have a subject.

long answer: grammar lesson. for example in english a standard sentence would be like: "She was sad and cried." -> "she" is the subject of the sentence, we know who was sad and cried. but in japanese a standard sentence would essentially be, "was sad and cried"; who was sad and crying is usually implied via context.

the original sentence is "得体が知らな��" (lit. "don't know [the] true nature"), with the subject of this sentence to be interpreted via context. english sentences sound very weird if you try to leave the subject out, so japanese -> english translations usually have to lock down on what they think the subject of a sentence is.

in the context of the original skit, where everyone is talking about karamatsu, it is pretty strongly implied that the subject of the sentence is karamatsu, so the translators translated it as "don't know [your] true nature" -> "you're a mystery". anime subtitles need to be read and understood quickly, so it makes sense to sacrifice nuance in favor of clarity.

when this sentence "得体が知らない" (lit. "don't know [the] true nature") is reused in the doujin, the wording is the exact same- the only thing that's changed is the context around the sentence, so the evidence you use to determine the subject of the sentence is is different. for a doujin that you can read slowly and are free to interpret, leaving room for nuance is arguably more important than clarity, which is why i included the translator's note; frankly there's like an 90% chance that the subject of the sentence (whats nature is unknown) is the same as in Pizza, which is why i didn't alter the wording in the typesetting, but there's a non-zero chance that it's referring to something else (like true nature of the reality he exists in), which is why i put the translator's note in :-)

(and actually even my literal alternate translation locked in on a subject where it was only implied: i decided that karamatsu was the one who doesn't Know, but it's never actually said who doesn't Know. for example it could be the Brothers that don't know. etc)

[antsday]

the last 500 words of in the palm of your hand for the ask meme!

I'm putting it all under a "Read More" because it's a little long. This is the fic, for reference, and this is the ask meme. Thank you so so much for the ask!!!

“So,” he says, shoving his hands into the pockets of his slacks so Deku won’t see how fucking sweaty they are. “You’ll have it ready by lunch tomorrow?”  Deku takes the laptop and tilts his head. “Uh. Yeah, I will. In fact, I can get it to you earlier than that-” “I’ll be busy for the rest of the day,” Katsuki lies. All his incident reports are done, and he’s got the night shift on patrol tomorrow. “You’re done by 2 tomorrow, right?” 

This passage was basically Bakugou trying to secure a lunch date with the IT nerd of his dreams and being painfully obvious about it- and he knows he’s being obvious about it, and he’s kind of freaking out because he’s never been in a situation like this. Personally, the nature of Bakugou’s quirk leads me to believe that he’s a really sweaty guy, and that it gets worse when he’s stressed - which makes sense in the context of battle, but is woefully inconvenient anywhere else. Like his palms are wet. 

“...Yes?” “Great. Look, I have to stop at that fucking- crepe place, down the street, right,” he says, praying to every God there is that he looks cool and casual and not like a ‘Deranged Goblin Man’, as the Hero Times described him a few months ago. “So. When you get off work you should meet me there. At the crepe place. Tomorrow. At two pm.” He doesn’t know what’s worse- the fact that he’s really doing this, being reduced to the same sort of emotional sap he would have made fun of only five years ago; or the fact that Present Mic’s lessons on subtlety and hidden meanings in text were actually good for something.  Look at him, effortlessly weaving together words to create sentences with underlying motives. He’s like a modern-day Shakespeare. He’s golden. He’s killing it. Bakugou Katsuki, master of words. He’s on cloud-fucking-nine. He’s- …aaaaand Deku isn’t responding. 

Honestly, one of the main reasons I wrote this fic to begin with is that I really really enjoy it when Bakugou’s blatantly pathetic- and when other characters think he’s pathetic. It’s so great to me. And I personally enjoy it a lot more than when he’s always put together and effortlessly suave- I feel like that’s how he wants to be perceived, but it’s not really how he comes across even when he’s trying. And he’s really trying here. He really likes Deku, and knows his usual unique charm isn’t going to work in actually getting someone to romantically like him, so he pulls out all the stops. One thing I really like to do and always try to do in my writing is to give hints about other character’s interests and personalities within a separate character’s inner monologue- like here, where I mentioned Present Mic having classes like that. I always like reading little details like that in fics and stories because it always gives the impression that there’s more going on in the world. 

Deku blinks. He opens his mouth. Closes it. He sets the laptop down, staring up at Katsuki intently, and Katsuki starts to sweat.  You are Bakugou Katsuki, he reminds himself. You might be down bad, but you’re not weak. It will not kill you if he rejects you. Well, it’ll kill you a little. But not that much.  “At the crepe pla- to give you the laptop, right?” says Deku slowly. His face is turning bright red. Katsuki goes a little weak in the knees.  “Sure, yeah,” Katsuki says half-heartedly. “Look, if you want, I could. I dunno. Fucking- buy you a crepe or something. As payment.”  He’s so smooth. Eat your fucking heart out, Dunce Face. ‘Zero game’, his ass. 

This might just be me but I always think it’s really funny when characters say one sentence, and then blatantly and immediately do a 180 in like, a sentence after that. It’s especially funny when it’s Bakugou- also kind of sad, though. I feel like his superiority and inferiority complexes were in constant battle in his first year, and he still has moments like that. He really wants Deku to like him back, and while he doesn’t doubt his own capabilities to put in the work, he is doubtful of how that’ll affect Deku. Luckily for him, Deku finds him sorta endearing. 

“Sure,” Deku says, scratching the back of his neck, smile just a tad bit shy. His face is still mildly flushed. Katsuki swoons (and does his best to not let it show on his face). “I- uh. I’d like that. I guess.”  “Cool,” says Katsuki. “Cool. Great. Okay, bye. Be there or else. Bye. See you.” He turns on his heel and power walks out of the room, not once looking back, even when Pigtails nearly crashes into him or when Deku makes a noise suspiciously like he’s slamming his head against the desk. He walks out of the room, into the hallway, back to his own office. The door slams shut behind him. He takes a deep breath. Squeezes his eyes shut. A breathlessly excited grin forces his way onto his face, and he pumps his fists, victorious.  He's got a date.

I am a Deku enjoyer first and foremost, and so everything I write kind of reflects that. In a way I think it’s sweet that Bakugou's so smitten, that he’s being such a disaster and that Deku’s all perfect- even if Deku’s equally, if not slightly more- of a disaster than he is.

All in all, this fic was so sweet and fun to write and I was satisfied with how I ended it, which I rarely ever am. Thank you to everyone who read it, and thank you, anon, again for this lovely ask! If anyone would like to send me a similar ask or anything, please feel free to hmu!

[sweet-william-writes]

For the ask game! 🖍 ♻ 🤔 ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

🖍 Post any sentence from your wip-

Okay I've got SO MANY wips rn lemme see which has the juiciest option...

Lol okay Imma give yall more than a sentence cuz that just seems fair-

“Have I ever told you… that you have a pretty mouth.”

“Um… no.”

“You do. Have a really pretty mouth.” Kim said, reaching up and pressing his thumb to Porchay’s bottom lip, pressing down on where it was full and plump. "Pretty mouth that makes too many pretty noises…” He slurred, almost like he didn't know he was saying it out loud enough to put in the effort to enunciate.

“K-Kim?” Porchay stammered, the movement of his words making Kim’s thumb slip forward until it was almost touching his tongue.

“Pretty…” Kim couldn’t help repeating, pushing it the rest of the way forward, groaning when Porchay’s tongue flinched back for a second before instinct seemed to take over and he licked at the digit, a moment later taking it even further and closing his lips around it and giving it a shy suck.

ANYWHO ENJOY THAT WITH ZERO CONTEXT

♻ A scrapped idea for your current wip-

There was a more messy version of events planned originally for I Just Want To Stay Here, where instead of Chay catching Kim on the phone with Chan, he was able to keep the mafia stuff a secret longer and started to kinda have a crisis about what to do cuz he couldn't just keep being a creep and hanging around a teenager's house "taking advantage" of him indefinitely, he either needed to stop lying and come up with a more permanent solution for Chay's safety or lie more and break things off AND find a permanent solution he could keep secret. His emotional messiness is visible to Chay who also gets angsty cuz he draws all the wrong conclusions why Kim is being weird.

With this set up when the truth came out and they ended up at the compound, Kim was going to be a lot angstier and emotionally unstable, especially cuz he hates being at the compound and feels super guilty for dragging Chay into Theerapanyakul Mess, so he shuts down emotionally and Chay is caught between angsting for his own copious reasons and wondering why Kim is so different now that they are around his family and not at his house. Does he not want something real and out in the open, did he only want Chay when it was a secret? Is he ASHAMED of Chay?

It was going to be super fun to torture both of them way more, but by the time I got to this part of the plot, honestly it just didn't fit anymore, they were way too bonded and in love, not to mention had learned to communicate and open up to each other too well for this to work. Plus the reveal I came up with was just, mwah too perfect.

🤔 What's a story you'd love to write but haven’t even started yet-

Apologies this answer got SO long lol I have made ALL these answers WAY TOO LONG

Oh god SO MANY to pick from, I have a ridiculous amount of fic ideas sitting in various google docs or notes on my phone that I have no idea when or if I'll ever get to them. I guess the first one that comes to mind is the sequel/prequel to Where You Fell. I technically have started it in the sense it has a tentative name (These Days You Tend To Lie) and some ideas I've already had, but I've never actually tried to Start it yanno?

I have only a Very rough idea of the plot and also whose pov it would be in, an important choice since the changing povs that never switched to wwx was one of the best parts of wyf in my opinion, but I'd been playing with ideas for a prequel way before I even finished wyf.

It would be set years in the past and be about Jin Guangyao and the story of how 3zun got together, with interspersed flashbacks to all their childhoods like wyf has AND flashforwards to events after wyf like an almost-sequel-epilogue kind of thing. It would be a great way to explore jgy and nhs more which I Really wanted to do (and honestly the mostly unfair hate they got in comments on wyf just made me want to do it even more) AND (yes I'm officially rambling now lol) I could show how chengsang's relationship healed after wyf.

Plus honestly I've always been dying to write a 3zun fic but no other idea I've ever had seems good enough. It would be a HUGE project so idk if I ever will, but it is there, sitting in my backpocket, Waiting

(If anyone wants any details feel free to message me and I totally will ramble more about this lol)

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥-

😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

[fallacies-examples]

Aight so my friend @the-library-alcove was kind enough to send me some discord screenshots but tumblr absolutely nerfed the quality so I am going to transcibe the conversation for yall before I analyse it. I have done my best to pick colours with the b&w filter on my phone turned on in an attempt to make it as colourblind accessible as tumblr lets me but they don't exactly have high contrast options, my apologies

the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few

no that's stupid. Even star trek said that was nonsense

@ green First, kind of a rude response, don't you think? Second I posted that quote because of the similarity in the situations. Spock sacrificed himself to save the crew of the enterprise, and fearless sacrificed himself to save the rest of the nest

I'm over here heating my breakfast with the most dead look in my eyes istg-

Look i just want to nip that in the bud, the needs of the many outweighing the needs of the few has been and will always be a stupid philosophy

[reply to im over here...] hugs

@ green Instead of just insulting it, why don't you explain what issues you have with it as a philosophy? Cause I gotta be honest, just throwing around "that's stupid" and "that's nonsense" doesn't do a lot to convince anyone of anything

Okay so the problem is it justifies a utilitarian mindset without acknowledging the long term problems or the value of the individual

finally got round to reading the new chapter 10/10 would recommend

I mean you're not going to find many well thought out philosophers in a single sentence

Like I usually go with the metaphor I saw used in Fake/Zero because it's a perfect criticism of the utilitarian mindset

[reply to finally got round...] that score is way too low

You have 500 people divided between two boats 300 on one 200 on the other both boats are sinking you are the only one who can fix the boats

10/10 these zeroes are actually teardrops

If you choose to fix the boat with 300 people the boat with 200 people will die. Lets say you make that choice. The remaining survivors divide again between two boats 200 on one 100 on the other. The same situation occurs. Because of the utilitarian choice youve killed more people than saved due to not thinking about the future and only going for the immediate quickest solution. the needs of the many outweighing the needs of the few is stupid because life isnt like bread or coin it cant be weighed. im sorry if I was rude thats a major trigger for me

There is a bit more but it's not relevant so im keeping the post short (lol sure fallacies-examples this is definitely short). What we have ourselves here is self-contradiction fallacy: Where on earth did the second boat come from?? If you had an extra boat the whole time why would you let the 200 people drown? And if a random boat pops up why would the boat that fit 300 perfectly fine suddenly need to split between people? Even if there was a reason they split if one boat broke could the 100 not just go back on to the boat they left the 200 on?. A self contradiction is basically "mate, you make no sense, and the thing you said already proves that new thing wrong".

However, I do want to bring up another fallacy that green all but admitted to in the end. Rationalization (in the context of fallacies) is when someone offers up fake or illogical excuses for a claim because the real reasoning is embarrassing or unconvincing. Green's reasoning is what we in the logic biz would call "extremely contrived word salad" that doesn't need a discussion of fallacies to be obviously nonsense - But I don't think it's supposed to be logical. This may be too generous of a reading for me to make but I think they know someone who says "needs of the many" a lot and that person wasn't nice to them. Maybe that person even used "needs of the many" to justify doing something immoral to green. It would not surprise me if the real reason green makes this nonsense argument is because they think saying "hey, that specific phrasing strikes a nerve for me for unrelated-to-you-lot reasons, could we talk about utilitarianism as a whole instead?" is an uncomfortable argument to make even though these people seem like friends and it most likely would be better than how this played out.

[quietbluejay]

A Thousand Sons #1

hi hello I'm back!

This time I'm taking on NYT bestseller A Thousand Sons! which was actually the first book I started talking about on here lol but I just shared some scattered reactions. This time I am doing it properly, fully summarizing and commentating it.

Also, I'm going to be having a bit of a contest, me vs British author Graham McNeill. For everything I have to hand to him, or think was actually good, I give him a point. For everything bad or that I don't like, I get a point. I make zero pretense at objectivity here however I am going to be as fair as possible. (I also ended up doing an orb counter lol)

okay, starting off with some epigraphs

surprisingly, these are actually a lot better choices and don't make me want to chew on McNeill's wires this time McNeill: 1 Bluejay: 0

the prologue is told from Ahriman's point of view it's actually a flash forwards to after Ahriman cast the rubric, which is clear from context clues

probably pretty confusing if you don't know what's going on though

okay, I'm gonna snark at Magnus here so, he expected to be condescended to? (that's all the snark lol)

BOOK ONE: IN THE KINGDOM OF THE BLIND

you know what, McNeill, I'll give you that one, it made me snrk

(you know, the saying, "in the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is king"? and of course Magnus, lol)

McNeill: 2 Bluejay: 0

and now we begin our novel proper with a description of the setting and THE MOUNTAIN OF OMINOUSNESS McNeill's pulled out some of the vocab words regarding plate tectonics but I think it's perfectly fine here so I won't ding him for this

UNDULATING let's see how many times things undulate in this book

you know what, bit of a purple tinge here but honestly I mostly like it (except the ending of the first sentence buddy what's going on there) and the description ends on a nice line "The Mountain was a place of the dead". McNeill: 3 Bluejay: 0 and now, Ahriman POV so Ahriman was doing a psychic search to see if Magnus was back yet or coming back he got nothing the three of them talk about how the psychic dead zone bugs them all, it's weird, but not weird enough to mutate the people who live there we get the first mention that the Wolves are waiting for them

annnnd remembrancers mentioned! also apparently these guys use their psychic gifts to be obnoxious and also to telekinetically throw salt at people who are being obnoxious XD hashtag relatable there's also a mention of how the Imperium doesn't like or want them (the Thousand Sons) as they argue about remembrancers

THE FIRST MCNEILL MUSCLE MOMENT OF THE BOOK take a shot also SWEAT ISNT OILY???? McNeill: 3 Bluejay: 2 so Magnus has now been in there 4 hours and Ahriman has an ominous feeling. He's going in!

but now, over to McNeill writing women

so our viewpoint character is wearing a linen banyan covered in embroidery that was woven by a blind weaver (why??) i do feel like McNeill is doing a decent job with including the eye/sight motif which really seems to be a Thousand Son thing given French also kinda did that in Ahriman Exile okay so it was woven by a blind weaver but was it embroidered by a sighted embroiderer because I feel like embroidery is considerably harder to manage blind it does not mention the embroiderer and the phrasing makes me feel like it's trying to say the weaver did the embroidery and that McNeill doesn't actually know what's going on there, I am being completely uncharitable here however I have strong feelings about embroidery so I am going to be petty

McNeill: 3 Bluejay: 3 Lemuel (viewpoint character) is bald and also black and you know what I know the bar is on the floor but at least McNeill manages to be normal about race when he's talking about men I'll give him a point for getting over the bar here! never let it be said that I am not a generous opponent McNeill: 4 Bluejay: 3

Lemuel is a remembrancer…but he's ALSO a psyker and he's using his psychic senses to watch the Thousand Son encampment and he's able to tell that Something Is Up he's annoyed and also it's too hot mood, Lemuel, I'm getting summer in Toronto flashbacks and now we get our first female character introduced actually wait he talks basically exactly the way McNeill wrote Karkasy his interaction with Camille reads like almost a copy-paste of the Karkasy and Keeler conversation at the beginning of False Gods McNeill: 4 Bluejay: 4 the actual intro:

she's a lesbian, Harold but okay, this is…it's fine? she's young and hot just like every female remembrancer McNeill writes lol but I will allow it because it's warhammer, I guess and I just recently gave myself a point out of pettiness the two of them talk about the importance or lack thereof of knowing history and the Aghoru people get a few mentions but we still don't know much about them

there's also a group of them trying to do some codebreaking on a mysterious script~ Kallista who actually got a mention earlier in the Ahriman conversation, thinks it's proto-Eldar (she hasn't shown up but she's being talked about) and now she's here! she is, surprise surprise, another beautiful young woman sure is something all these accomplished artists, historians, writers etc are predominantly hot single ladies I can't even blame McNeill for this one though he's responsible for the highest number of them but Abnett and Kyme also did it lol, so I don't think that's quite worth a point however witness the exact moment I decided I did not want to read anything by Mcneill ever (unfortunately I started going "it can't really be that bad right" and broke that promise in like maybe 2 months)

I'm giving 2 points for this on account of this also being the exact same way he described Serena over in Fulgrim The Novel McNeill: 4 Bluejay: 6 and an Astartes comes over with water delivery! we get a description of him and his armour that's lush without getting purple also he brought an astarted-sized water container lol. lmao. the remembrancers have a lot of trouble filling their containers from it because it's big and hard to pour, it's a fun bit! McNeill: 5 Bluejay: 6 the three remembrancers decide to spy on whatever the suspicious group of astartes (the one including Ahriman) is doing

this is meant to be ironic, yes, given the salt-throwing in the last section? anyways it's back to Ahriman and his buddies (Phosis and Hathor Ma'at who I am going to ding McNeill for because he is named after two female goddesses) McNeill: 5 Bluejay: 7 and we get a bit of a sidetrack about tutelaries also I forgot how much this book dragged it's not too bad yet but the signs are there… uggghhh fine I'll be fair and say that McNeill is throwing a lot of terms and worldbuilding stuff at the reader right off the bat get it out of the way

also it is important for you to know that tutelaries are very pretty and Ahriman's is the bestest yes he is this isn't me mocking McNeill, this is me poking fun at Ahriman

this is so funny for me "primordial creator" doesn't have divine connotations?? Ahriman Ahriman look at me ugh fine I'll give McNeill a point for this one McNeill: 6 Bluejay: 7 and now on page 29 we finally come to why and how the Thousand Sons came here in the first place also why weren't THESE guys in trouble for taking too long with compliances so they came to the system, whole thing looked dead, but somehow Magnus knew there was life

and now time for Thousand Son backstory and the flesh change thing

so it sounds like it took Magnus some time to fix it/make his deal however lol what are timelines in 30k ,are they something you eat? I think they taste like dried mango (tonight's snack) so currently the Word Bearers and the Space Wolves are nearby fighting this one empire that rudely rejected the offer to join the Imperium and Russ keeps sending Magnus messages asking him to come help you don't see 3 legions called in that often you know it's kind of wild that the way it's phrased goes out of its way to avoid sounding like Russ is asking for help which is odd to me given the rivalry between the legions, lol Magnus is here because he is pondering the Mountain and finally the chapter ends

round 2 of Bluejay vs McNeill! who will win this chapter we spend a few pages talking about the remembrancers climbing to spy on the astartes Lemuel isn't in great shape, RIP they finally get to the top after a reminder that, yup, the mention of a temple is horrifying and for some reason there is drumming scene ends on a cliffhanger as Lemuel swears in astonishment and now it's back to Ahriman POV, he's also hearing the drums (drums in the deep) they're in the psyker deadzone and not loving it blah blah the mountain is geometrically perfect and they run into some of the Aghoru, when they're ready for a fight

tbh I think the mask thing is cool however you're really expecting agamemnon's death mask to have lasted that long? okay so the leader asked them not to come here because it's a holy place

lmao more of the same "oh they're totally not angels they're just fragments of the primordial creator" "oh it's not holy as in religion, it's totally this other thing that makes it okay to use the word"

Ahriman is flashing back to this one campaign vs orks

am I being unfair in saying that sounds like they kinda suck as astartes?

belatedly, realized i should give McNeill a point for fun character design (the Aghoru) also for improvements in his writing since Fulgrim The Novel ESPECIALLY dialogue McNeill: 8 Bluejay: 6 …if he ends up winning the novel, what do I have to do the question haunts me

anyways, the Titan got brought down and it seemed like they were doomed and then

I feel like we're being frogboiled into purple prose here like this? I wouldn't call this obnoxiously purple but it's definitely growing more elaborate as I get further into the book anyways the whole point of three pages of tangent on the topic is that the giant statues here are EVEN BIGGER than a warlord titan

now that I am much more familiar with 40k, I can say that all the hints about this being an Eldar world were there all along well I mean there's the thing about the language being maybe proto-Eldar earlier in the book but this is a little more subtle I'm giving myself a point for GET TO THE POINT ALREADY MCNEILL and I'm giving him a point for the statues McNeill: 9 Bluejay: 7 at the sight of the giant statues, Ahriman is no longer able to be calm he's freaking out here, I guess and haha the three of them are like "hey they kinda look Eldar, don't they" and there's an interesting mention

you look at this current compliance plus this mention and it really gives the feeling that a lot of the stuff the Thousand Sons do is not necessarily violent

like they're still space marines lol but it definitely gives me the impression Magnus actually goes for diplomacy more than a lot of the other primarchs (then again given what we see of his diplomacy later in the book….hmmm) also this made me lol

okay so the Aghoru are all drumming and waving burning brands, there's a giant hole in the ground ripped open by an earthquake, Ahriman is like "okay let's just…wait and try and resolve this without violence" there's a black stone altar never a good thing to find in a horror novel on the altar are scattered offerings (even worse) it's thankfully not blood sacrifices, just stuff like jewelry or personal knicknacks the three Thousand Sons are befuddled because this wasn't in their cultural guidelines and now something is happening even more ominously!

you know, this got me good first time I read it and that's chapter 2!

Chapter 3 begins with Lemuel trying to perceive Magnus and his senses throwing a 404 error

etc yeah so when I first read this, I thought Magnus had gone full daemon but nope this just happens, apparently Lemuel ends up throwing up lol and then he stares in amazement at his vomit meanwhile Kallista (one of the other remembrancers if you've forgotten) is having some sort of prophetic fit and the third remembrancer is taking pictures and you know if I had a nickel for every time a writer used "beautiful. so very beautiful" in reference to a primarch I would now have 3 nickels which isn't a lot but given it was 3 separate writers I cannot help but think that McNeill and ADB were doing shout outs to Horus Rising Lemuel calls Magnus a monster, everyone else goes wat, he looks again and he's like, nevermind, he's hot things are getting a little purplish here but I will allow it, it fits and now back to Ahriman dad is mad at them Hathor and Ahriman bicker like kids, again, and it's still funny and not getting into the "how did you people manage to run a legion" level, but I recall one of my complaints about McNeill's writing was that he made all these grown ass people act like children I'm not adding any points yet but I'm watching this space

anyways, they're worried they're gonna get kicked out of the inner circle who gets to be close to Magnus, because being in the inner group lets you bask in his radiance which helps your psychic powers there's a note about how the warp waxes and wanes and now it's the blowing stuff up guys who are powerful while it's harder to see the future right now, Ahriman's big salty that the guys who light things on fire are cool now but no Ahriman's still in the Rehati i.e. inner circle, and it's time to go into Magnus' tent which is apparently surprisingly austere, it only has marble floors with the marble from Prospero and fancy tiles, truly, he is a model of frugality okay I didn't really post much of Magnus through Lemuel's eyes but let's see through Ahriman's since he actually knows him as a person

etc

your Mary Sue could never

I REMEMBER THIS BRO WHY just stand in lines I beg you yeah I'm gonna give a point for that McNeill: 9 Bluejay: 8 there's more simping for Magnus, obviously he's so cool and knowledgeable that he doesn't need a tutelary

Magnus' first words: I am disappointed in you heh okay I'll give McNeill a point for that McNeill: 10 Bluejay: 8 blah blah why did you disobey me Ahriman doesn't actually get to explain before Magnus goes off on a tangent about how going into the null field gives them a taste of what regular humans feel like which allows him to segue into what seems like a favourite subject

I MISSED IT THE FIRST TIME I'LL TAKE EYES AS ORBS FOR 5000 PLEASE ALEX McNeill: 10 Bluejay: 9 orb counter: 1 Magnus puts a hand on Ahriman's shoulder and I guess we're not actually gonna discuss his reasoning for disobeying orders huh because Ahriman goes on a mental tangent about how Magnus is basically soul and will rather than flesh and blood and is so far above him like a spaceship is to a primitive etc etc so, Magnus is here because there's something weird why aren't the Aghoru affected by the Warp? what's up with this place this could help us solve the SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE Ahriman feels guilty and is like I'll do whatever reparations I need to for the Aghoru, Magnus just goes nah you don't need to do anything [10:05 PM] yeah I guess we're just not gonna actually get into Ahriman's reasons at all…. genuinely reading this I'm like how did Magnus not get censured like Lorgar because the impression I get is that he's even slower well I guess he's not. worshipping Emps. That was. a pretty big thing that happened. but he doesn't really run this like a military legion, it's more like a giant buff wizard study group that sometimes maybe does a bit of fighting Magnus' new orders are to befriend the remembrancers

Magnus: pretend to be their friends, whatever it takes, we gotta study the effect of this world on them Ahriman stays behind for a sec because he wants to talk about Plato's allegory of the cave so how do you illuminate the men in the cave Magnus: we take them out to the light Ahriman: uhhhh they don't want to see it Magnus: baby steps Magnus has special orders for Ahriman regarding the remembrancers, he wants Ahriman to teach Lemuel how to use his powers and that's chapter 3

until next time!