#sending a million comfort vibes your way | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mrsshabana · 5 months ago

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𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐨𝐨 𝐋𝐚𝐭𝐞 - 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐨

ꔫ‧₊ Content Gyutaro x female!reader, 18+ MDNI, vaginal sex, creampie, age difference, angst, fluff, daddy issues, mommy issues, modern au ꔫ‧₊ Note 7.7k words. If you can guess the secret reference in this fic, I love you ♡ ✧:･ﾟ→ Part one ✧:･ﾟ→ Part three

“I really let myself go, man…” Gyutaro mumbles to himself as he carefully shaves his face. Leaning closer to the mirror as he focuses on getting rid of the facial hair he's been too lazy to shave. Well, really it's been a combination of stress and laziness. He's been pretty stressed ever since you came over and he kicked you out. But after you agreed to go on a date with him he knew he had to clean himself up and make himself look nice for you.

The whole time he tries to pep himself up, “You got this, you got this… it’s only probably your last chance at love. No pressure,” yeah that pep talk ended up making him even more nervous.

But there's no time to dwell on it, he's supposed to be at your place in 20 minutes to pick you up. So he hurriedly finishes his grooming, puts on some nice clothes, and grabs his keys.

As he drives over to your place, you pace around your room nervously. Thinking about the hundreds of possibilities that could take place during this date. To say you’re nervous would be an understatement.

You think Gyutaro is an amazing guy, but you can't help but feel cautious about the fact that he's so much older than you. You may be naive but you’re no idiot. You know how a lot of older men view younger women, like they're some kind of trophy or toy. Gyutaro never gave you those kinds of vibes, but you want to be mindful just in case.

As soon as you hear a car pulling up to your driveway you grab your purse, slip on your shoes, and bolt out the door. Gyutaro's car pulls up to your house, looking very shiny as he must have recently taken it to the car wash.

He parks the car and steps out to greet you, and as soon as his eyes land on you his cheeks turn pink. Becoming flustered by how beautiful you look, especially in that floral dress that's perfect for the botanical gardens.

“H-Hey Y/N,” he waves shyly, walking over to you.

“Hey, Gyutaro!” You make the bold decision to walk up to him and give him a hug. By reading his body language you can tell he isn't angry at you anymore so you decide to go for it.

He's surprised at first because he's never touched you like this before, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't like it. And the same goes for you. The way his strong muscled arms wrap around you sends shivers down your spine. Not to mention the masculine scent of his cologne, so much more attractive than the axe that guys your age typically wear.

“You look really beautiful, by the way,” he says as he pulls away from the hug. Looking down at you with a flustered expression, glancing at your dress but trying not to stare too hard.

“Aw thank you! You look very handsome,” you smile and run your fingers along the hem of his shirt, “This color looks good on you.” You admire the way the white fabric clings to his biceps. White isn't a color he typically wears, but it's getting hot out and he figured it'd be more comfortable. Now that you complimented him though, he’s feeling a million times more confident with his outfit decision. Even though it’s just a nice button-up shirt and some jeans.

“Thanks,” his blush deepens and he opens the passenger side door for you.

You thank him as you hop inside.

The drive to the botanical gardens was pretty quiet, there's an awkwardness that lingers in the air. Mostly from the situation where you last saw Gyutaro in person. It didn't go well, to say the least, and going from leaving his house in tears to now going on a romantic date, it's quite the contrast and there was no conversation acknowledging what happened. A part of you wants to bring it up but you feel like it might ruin the date so you decide to save it for another time.

Once at the botanical gardens, Gyutaro parks his car in the parking lot and then comes over to open your door for you.

“Thanks,” you blush at the chivalrous gesture.

“Have you ever been here before?” Gyutaro asked nervously as the two of you walk towards the entrance.

“No,” you shake your head, “I've always wanted to come though!”

“W-well I’m glad I chose this then,” he blushes as he shows the employee at the entrance the tickets he bought online. Once admitted inside the two of you follow the designated path to view the gardens.

He looks down at you, observing your beauty instead of that of the rose bushes beside you. He can't bring himself to pay attention to them right now. All he can think about is you, how beautiful you are, and how he wishes he was in his 20s again so he wouldn't feel so weird about this date. He feels like everyone is judging him for being out with you, but in reality no one really notices.

He's been on two first dates in his entire life, and they didn't go well considering he never got a second one. Both of those dates were over five years ago. And by now he's forgotten how to do it, but let's be honest he never knew to begin with.

Should he hold your hand? Should he talk to you? Or should he just keep staring at you? He quickly looks away when he realizes how long he’s been staring at you, and that you must have noticed him from the corner of your eye by now.

“Shit, I wish I knew what I was doing,” he thinks to himself, “Things feel so awkward right now… I should probably clear the air if I want any chance of this date going well.”

He takes a deep breath before speaking, “Hey uh, Y/N?”

“Hm?” you hum, looking up at him through your fluttery lashes.

“Can we talk about what happened the other night?” he says hesitantly, looking to the side, avoiding eye contact out of nervousness.

“Sure,” you say, leading him over to a bench where you can talk more privately.

When he sits he takes a deep sigh and rolls his fingers through his hair, trying to think of the right words to say.

“I'm sorry,” he just spits it out, “I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that, my reaction was uncalled for and I overreacted…”

You instantly feel a weight lift off your shoulders when hearing his apology. “It’s ok, I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have said what I said… I wasn't thinking and it wasn't the right way to tell you how I felt.” You look down, feeling a bit ashamed and embarrassed about what you said to him that day.

He smiles, chuckling to himself as he recalls your statement. It was pretty bold for you to flat out say he should get with a younger girl like you.

“You don't need to apologize. It was my fault for assuming that you liked me based on that statement…”

“Well, I do like you,” you smile and take his hand, “so you assumed right.”

His cheeks turn pink and he stutters, “R-really…?”

He's left speechless, but on the inside he's doing summersaults. In all honesty he wasn't sure if you liked him in that way, especially after everything that happened. A part of him thought you were just being nice to him and giving him a suggestion without insinuating your feelings for him at all. That maybe he jumped to the conclusion that you liked him because he already liked you himself.

And through today’s date he was hoping to find out how you really felt. If you liked him back, it'd be a romantic date. Or if you didn’t it could just be a friend date where you could make up. He’s happy that this is going to be a romantic date instead.

“Of course really! I started liking you ever since that night you fell asleep on the couch and I made dinner for you…”

His blush deepens, “Th-that's when I started liking you too… but my head told me you were off limits so…”

“How come?”

“You know,” he nervously scratches the back of his neck, “Because I'm so much older than you and you're my sister’s friend.”

“You're really hung up on the age thing huh?” you stand up and pull his wrist till he stands up, “I really like that you're older than me… so don’t be so hard on yourself, ok? Being older doesn't make you bad, it just makes you different, and I like all of those differences compared to guys my age.”

“Th-thanks,” he whimpers, feeling like his heart is going to explode.

Now that the air has been cleared and the purpose of this outing has been established, the two of you make your way through the gardens. Admiring the beautiful flowers, the butterflies, and of course the cute expression on Gyutaro's face the entire time.

You make sure to take lots of photos of the two of you. Gyutaro looks so awkward when you try to take selfies with him, but it's kind of cute. The best one is where he didn't even realize you were taking a photo and he's looking at you, blushing with a smile on his face.

As the two of you near the end of the gardens, you walk by a large koi pond filled with beautiful lotus flowers and surrounded by hydrangea bushes. You and Gyutaro decide to take a break and sit by the edge of the pond, peering in and observing the beautiful fish.

“Wow, this is so pretty!” you chime, “I think this is my favorite part.”

“Me too,” he shyly agrees, “Fish are so cool…”

“Maybe for our next date we could go to the aquarium then?” You smile optimistically, already excited to spend more time with him.

“Wait… seriously? You actually want another one?” His eyes widen and he looks at you in disbelief.

“Of course! This was really fun…”

He blushes and mumbles, “Yeah, it was…” he inches closer to you until his shoulder is right beside yours.

You sit there with him for a while, enjoying the scenery and taking it all in. Gyutaro feels so many things right now, and his heart is pumping at a million miles a minute. He's so psyched that you want another date, it quite frankly feels like a dream. And even though you admitted how much you like him, he's still convinced that he’s going to fuck this up.

“Shit… I'm being too quiet I should say something,” he thinks to himself.

“So uh… my manager fell into a koi pond once,” he blurts out of nowhere.

“What?” you giggle.

“Yeah, he walked straight into it! One of my coworkers got ahold of the security footage and everyone in the office watched it. It was hilarious.”

“Haha! Oh my god, he must have been so embarrassed.”

You continue to giggle as Gyutaro acts out what happened, telling you every detail about how mad his manager was and how he even got sued for accidentally killing one of the fish.

It's honestly quite strange seeing Gyutaro this way, telling you silly stories and being so talkative. It's a completely different side to him that you had never seen before, but it’s really refreshing to see him this way. And since he’s older than you, you figure he has lots of stories to tell. You hope he'll share more of them with you in the future.

After sitting at the pond and listening to Gyutaro’s stories, the two of you decide to stop by the gift shop before leaving.

“I was thinking maybe we could get matching t-shirts?” you exclaim as you begin looking at the racks of shirts in the gift shop.

“S-sure, that sounds good to me,” he swallows dryly. Isn't getting matching t-shirts something that couples do? But you aren't a couple yet… or are you? He starts sweating nervously as he contemplates the idea of being your boyfriend. He doesn't want to get too ahead of himself but he can't help but swoon over the thoughts that come to mind when imagining himself as your boyfriend. “Wait… does that mean… she might sleep over sometime?” His whole face goes red as he thinks about you lying in his bed with him. It's been so long since he's ever considered such a thing, years to be honest. He hasn't felt this kind of adrenaline in at least 5 years since he gave up on romance.

“Are you ok?” you ask as you notice how red his face is.

“Y-Yeah!” he quickly snaps out of it and clears his throat, “I uh I just have allergies.” He laughs nervously hoping you'll accept his lame excuse.

You frown and hand him a tissue from your purse, “You poor thing, here take this, I get allergies a lot too.”

“Thanks…” his blush only deepens, being taken care of by you flusters him.

“What do you think of these ones?” you hold up a pair of matching t-shirts sporting the logo and name of the gardens, with a beautiful koi pond illustration on the front.

He can't help but smile, “Those look perfect,” he takes them and slings them over his arm.

“I'm gonna look over here real quick. I want to get something for my friend,” you say.

“No problem, I'll look around too.”

After ten minutes of looking around you notice Gyutaro is waiting for you outside of the gift shop, he must have already paid for everything. Honestly, he just wanted to pay for the shirts when you were occupied so you wouldn't insist on paying, he wanted it to be his treat.

So you go ahead and check out the item you picked out before meeting him back outside.

“Got everything you were looking for?” he smiles before taking your hand again.

“Yep!” you eagerly take his hand and look around the courtyard, “I really don't want this date to end yet… would you like to maybe check out that cafe before we go?” you point out a small cafe across from the gift shop.

“You read my mind,” he blushes and walks over to the cafe with you.

Inside is full of beautiful plants and flower arrangements, making a scenic and relaxing atmosphere. There are only a few people inside too so that makes Gyutaro feel a bit less self conscious.

“Hey look Gyu! They have cold brew!” you chime as you point up to the menu.

He's immediately caught off guard not only by the nickname but also that you know his favorite kind of coffee. “What-when-how did you know I love cold brew?”

“I saw a bunch of them in your fridge when I was studying with Ume the other night…” you confess.

He can't help but think that's quite cute, “Ha, well yeah. It is my favorite, I'll let you have a sip of mine.”

Gyutaro orders your drinks and as he hands the pink-haired cashier his debit card she says, “You two are such a cute couple!”

His eyes immediately go wide and he stumbles over his words, unsure of what to say, “I um um w-well we uh...”

“Oh I'm sorry,” she apologizes, “I didn't mean to assume! Are you her teacher or something? Is there a class trip going on today?”

Gyutaro's skin goes pale and he begins choking on the air that was in his lungs.

You quickly butt in, “Haha no worries, we are a couple actually,” you say nervously hoping Gyutaro won't mind what you've said.

“Oh! How cute! See I could just tell it was love by the way you were looking at each other!” The girl has hearts in her eyes as she proclaims her joy at seeing a happy couple.

Gyutaro is still in a non-functioning state of disbelief as you walk him over to a small table and help him sit down. He still can't believe she thought he was your teacher, and not only that but you said you two were a couple! That statement is the only thing making him feel a bit better about your age gap being called out.

“Are you alright?” you laugh nervously as you put your hand on his shoulder, “It's alright Gyu, at least-”

“Are we a couple?” he cuts you off.

“Oh um,” you blush, “w-well if you want to be…”

“Do you?” he looks at you with wide eyes, with a mixture of eagerness and desperation.

“Of course I do! I wouldn't have said it if I didn't want it to happen,” you smile and kiss his cheek to reassure him.

He looks down, cheeks dusted pink and eyes half closed. Sitting there thinking and trying to calm himself down. This is only the first date, are things maybe moving too fast? The thought is in the back of his mind but honestly, he has no relationship experience so he isn't sure what's normal and what's not.

The thing is, you know Gyutaro well enough to know that you would want to pursue a relationship with him. You don't need multiple dates to tell you that. Your previous interactions with him and this one date have been enough to help you make up your mind. He's honestly everything you want in a partner, you just hope that he will agree.

Gyutaro still has a lot of concerns, mainly the age difference. But putting that aside, he really does like you. You're sweet, caring, and not to mention beautiful. You go out of your way to take care of him, something he's never experienced before. And you do everything you can to ease his anxieties and you actually make him feel normal. Despite all of his self-sabotaging thoughts, he's not going to let them get in the way of his happiness.

“Yeah,” he looks up at you with a soft smile, “I'd love to be your boyfriend.”

You can't help the excited squeal that escapes your lips. You immediately run over and hug him, almost knocking him out of his seat. “I'm so excited Gyu! This means we can go on a lot more dates right?”

“Of course,” he chuckles, “But we can't tell Ume, ok? She'd freak out…”

“Don't worry, my lips are sealed!”

After you receive your drinks you and Gyutaro discuss how to proceed with your relationship. For the most part, you're just like any other couple, the only difference is that you need to keep it hidden from his sister. Which shouldn't be too hard since Ume is always glued to her phone. You'll just need to remember you can't post any photos from your dates with Gyutaro.

Before leaving the cafe you give Gyutaro a cute pen with bees and flowers on it that you bought for him at the gift shop. He had no idea you were going to buy something for him, but even though it's just a small pen, it means a lot to him and he plans to use it every day at work.

Gyutaro also gives you a stuffed animal koi fish he found in the gift shop, he thought you'd like it since you spent a lot of time talking together by the koi pond.

You can't help but tear up at the thoughtful gesture. You've only officially been a couple for less than an hour but you're already seeing proof that becoming his girlfriend was a good decision.

.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚.

The date went a lot better than either of you had expected, but unfortunately, things won't be so easy from now on.

Not only do you have classes and Gyutaro has work, but the only times you get to see each other is when Ume is around so you have to pretend your relationship doesn't exist.

Gyutaro will usually give you a generic greeting if he comes home from work to see you studying with Ume, and act indifferent towards you. Only to text you as soon as he gets in his room telling you how beautiful you look and how much he misses you.

It's hard having to hide your feelings every time you see him. But you know it's necessary. And it's not all bad because sometimes Gyutaro will tell Ume he is working overtime when in reality he's taking you out for dinner or to a movie. Most often ending the night with a heated kiss in the car before he drops you off back at your place.

For once in his life he actually feels genuine happiness. Like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, and maybe all of his hard work is actually paying off. He feels a higher sense of purpose now. Instead of his only purpose being Ume, he has you. It feels good to have someone else care about you, someone that has no other reason to other than the fact that they love you.

Not to mention every time you come over to study with Ume you bring homecooked food with you. After Gyutaro told you his dad was Japanese and he loved eating his cooking, you’ve experimented with Japanese recipes just for him. You have no idea how much that means to him.

Like today, when he came home from work, immediately the smell of nostalgia hit his nose.

“No way…” he smiles excitedly as he kicks off his shoes and runs over to the kitchen. “Holy shit!”

Entering the kitchen he sees neatly packed portions of curry rice, one of his favorite meals his dad would make before he passed away.

He looks around for you, but the living room and kitchen are empty. Though if he listens closely he can hear you and Ume laughing in her room.

Wasting no time opening one of the tupperware containers and digging in, Gyutaro thinks about how lucky he is to have you in his life. Not to mention how thankful he feels that you go out of your way to cook for him. After a long and exhausting day at the office, this is exactly what he needs. He’ll make sure to thank you later.

It’s not long before Gyutaro is passed out in bed. After binging on your food and changing out of his work clothes he was fast asleep in under ten minutes.

And so was Ume. She fell asleep on her bed watching TikToks as you finished up her online quiz for her. It’s already past 11 pm, but you didn’t pack anything to sleep over. Not that you’d mind staying the night, it’s not like you have a way home anyway. Unless you asked Gyutaro to take you home but you would rather let him rest.

Though that does give you a devious idea.

A little while later Gyutaro wakes up to the feeling of someone crawling into bed with him.

“Ume…?” he rasps, rubbing his eyes. It’s been so long since his sister has gotten into his bed. She’s only ever done it when she had a terrible nightmare or was extremely upset by something. But that was years ago. He can’t imagine what would have upset her so much to make her do it tonight.

“Are you alright- WAIT, Y/N?” His eyes widen when he realizes it was actually you who crawled into bed with him. Immediately his cheeks turn pink and his body stiffens.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” you blush as you notice he’s shirtless, “But I just wanted to spend some time with you… it’s been a while.”

“Y-yeah it has, but where’s Ume?”

“She fell asleep a while ago,” you say shyly.

“O-Oh, I see. W-Well I don’t mind you staying here with me for the night I guess,” he stutters, “But you gotta be out before Ume wakes up, ok?”

“Ok!” you say happily as you cling to him and nuzzle your face against his chest.

Gyutaro’s whole body feels frozen in place as he feels your body press against him. Not to mention the pressure he feels building beneath his pajama pants.

His whole body heats up and he feels like he’s suffocating. He’s full of nervousness and excitement. Never in his life has someone been so physically close to him. “Oh god… what do I do with my hands?” he thinks to himself as he swallows dryly.

Would it be rude to touch you? He’s so self-conscious about crossing a boundary or making you uncomfortable even though you’re his girlfriend. He just really doesn’t want to mess this up. And all the insecurities surrounding him being older than you just make it a million times worse. His inner voice yelling at him that he’s a creep. That he’s too old to be doing this with you. Or worse, that he’s taking advantage of you in some way.

“Hey, are you ok?” you look up at him, noticing that something is off, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable…”

“No no! It’s not you,” he laughs nervously, “I like being close to you like this, I just… I just feel weird… I’m just some old loser-”

You cut him off by quickly grabbing his face and pressing your lips against his, giving him a soft and heartfelt kiss. His eyes widen at first but he can’t help but relax into your affection, slowly closing his eyes and resting his hands on your waist.

“You aren’t old, and you aren’t a loser,” you whisper as you pull away from the kiss, “You’re my boyfriend and I love you.”

That shut up the negative voices in his head real quick.

“Y-You love me?” he blushes, looking at you with tears in his eyes.

“I do, I love you so much,” you smile sweetly as you caress his cheek, looking into his eyes to let him know you really mean it.

He takes a shaky breath, really taking your words in. Could it really be true? He knew things were going well with you but he honestly never expected you to actually fall in love with him. Things never go this well for him. It has to be a trick, right? … no, no it can’t be a trick. Maybe, just maybe it really is true. And maybe it really is what he deserves. After all the hell he’s been through for the past 35 years of his pathetic existence, it all had to be for something right? Could this really be it? It has to be because staring back at him is everything he’s ever wanted and more.

“I love you too,” he states. It’s the first thing he’s ever said to you with full confidence.

He’s so sure of himself in fact, that he does something bold. He pins you to the bed and intertwines his lips with yours, quickly running his tongue along your lip begging for access. Of course, you’re quick to grant it to him.

Even though his actions seem aggressive, his kiss is gentle and passionate. Confirming the strong feelings he has for you.

But you suddenly feel something strange. Something wet splatters across your cheek.

You open your eyes to see tears clumped to his eyelashes, sparkling in the moonlight before they drop onto your skin.

You feel a pang in your chest, but it only makes you kiss him more fervently. You want to make sure he knows how much you love him, and that you want to be his.

In the heat of the moment, you break away from the kiss and begin taking off your clothes. Throwing your shirt and pants to the floor. Before Gyutaro can even react you’re pulling him in for another kiss, not giving him an opportunity to second guess himself or let his insecurities seep through.

He doesn’t hesitate to follow your lead, moving along as you guide him on top of you. Allowing him to lay comfortably between your legs. Immediately you feel his hard-on press against you through his pajamas. No wonder he’s moaning so desperately into the kiss, he must want you pretty damn badly.

“Y/N…” he pants.

“It’s ok Gyu, you can do whatever you want to me,” you whisper to him, “I trust you. And I promise I want you as badly as you want me…” You bite your lip as you take his hand and guide it into your panties, letting him feel just how wet you are for him.

His jaw literally drops and his entire face turns red. He can’t believe this is happening right now.

“Y-You’re so wet…” he mutters, feeling his member twitch involuntarily.

“Just means I’m ready for you…”

“Wha- oh!” he blushes and looks down, unable to process that you’re actually asking him to do this. And he wants it too, he really does, he’s just nervous.

“Hey, it’s ok if you aren’t ready. We don’t have to do it tonight,” you smile and rub his shoulder, trying to reassure him that whatever he’s feeling is ok.

“N-No that’s not it, I really do want to. I-I just… don’t know how,” he looks away, completely ashamed to admit to you that he’s a virgin.

“It’s ok, just do what feels natural. I can guide you if you need help,” you say in the most understanding and kind tone. Making him feel comfortable that you won’t judge him.

“Alright…” with a shy smile he sits up and grabs the hem of his pants.

You’ve already seen him shirtless which is honestly the worst of it, and if that doesn’t disgust you then maybe you won’t be repulsed by his dick either. That’s his hope at least. He takes a deep breath and pulls down his pants. His cock immediately springing free.

He feels his heart rate speed up when it’s finally out and he realizes you can actually see it. He looks down at you, praying that he won’t see a disgusted look on your face. But all he sees is lust in your eyes, no hints of distaste whatsoever. And it’s confirmed when you reach over and begin jerking him off. A desperately pathetic whimper leaves his lips as soon as you begin stroking him. He already feels weak to his knees.

“Wow Gyu,” you say in awe as you stroke up and down his length.

He tries to respond but his words get jumbled together and he mutters nonsensical sounds mixed with moans.

A million worries are going through his head right now, “Wait - should I have gotten circumcised before this?! Shit, I should have shaved more!! Oh fuck fuck fuck.” But none of those things matter at all because you think he’s perfect just the way he is.

It’s obvious just how nervous he still is, so you hope a hand job to warm him up will help calm his nerves. In the meantime, you admire what he’s kept hidden this whole time. How his shaft has birthmarks on it to match the rest of his beautiful body. It’s something he’s always been insecure about but you have always loved them. And there’s a neat patch of hair right above it too, it looks like he keeps it trimmed, matched with a trail of sparse hairs leading down from his belly button. It’s an odd observation but you find it quite sexy.

“B-Babe,” he whimpers, “I think- I think m’ready.”

Honestly, you were so enamored by him that you didn’t even notice how close you got him to cumming. “Oh haha sorry, I got a bit carried away.”

You quickly take off your bra and panties and lay back down again, allowing him to position himself on top of you.

Holding your thigh with one hand and the base of his cock with the other, he looks down in between your legs. Trying not to hyperventilate.

“R-Ready?” he stutters.

“I’m ready, Gyu.”

He takes a deep breath and slowly slides into you. It takes him a few seconds to find the right spot, but he quickly finds it. His grip on your thigh tightens as he sinks deeper and deeper into you. You can’t stop the moans that escape your mouth as you feel him completely fill you up.

“Hah.. ngh- oh fuck…” he whimpers.

“Ah- Gyu,” you moan as you pull him in for a kiss. Wanting to give him as much reassurance that he’s doing a good job.

Getting lost in the pleasure and love you give him, he begins thrusting into you. Sharply bucking his hips as his tongue dances around your mouth.

For once, his negative thoughts are quiet and he is solely focused on this moment. A moment he thought he didn’t deserve, a moment he gave up on wishing for. But now, he’s glad he gets to have this moment with you.

And even though he doesn’t quite know what he’s doing, he still tries his best to make you comfortable and put your needs first. “H-How can I make you cum?”

“Huh?” you’re honestly taken aback by what you heard him say.

“I wanna make you cum… b-but I don’t know how,” he blushes and looks away in embarrassment. He’s the older one, he should know how to pleasure you, but he’s ashamed to admit his lack of experience. But even so, he won’t let that get in the way of his desire to put you first.

Every day he gives you more and more reasons to be thankful you’re dating someone in their 30s, and this is one of them. You can’t say you’d expect a guy your age to want to put you first like that. But Gyutaro is mature and caring in nature, so of course he wants to take care of his girl.

“Oh honey,” you smile and caress his cheek, “you’re already doing a great job, but when you do this it feels really good…” You have him lower himself more onto you, your chests touching, and then you grab his hips and reposition them. Pulling him a bit closer so that with every thrust his pubic bone, and the patch of hair that sits there, stimulate your clit.

“J-just like that,” you pant, “stay close and k-keep going.”

He nods and focuses on moving in a way that elicits the most moans from you. He may be lost in pleasure, but he’s also paying attention to you.

He picks up the pace, pressing his entire body against you, wrapping his muscled arms around you, and nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. His desperate moans and the slapping of skin fill his bedroom. A once quiet room where he’s spent countless nights alone.

Feeling that all too familiar tightness form in your stomach, you arch your back and spread your legs wider, allowing him to hit your sweet spot. Continuously ramming his cock into you, a mixture of your fluids coating his shaft.

He felt himself getting close a long time ago, you have no idea how hard he’s trying to contain himself right now. But his desire to pleasure you drives him to go faster and faster, the sounds of your heavenly moans next to his ear make it almost impossible for him not to fill you with his seed this very instant. But he holds out, determined to make sure you finish first. No matter how torturous it may be for him.

When he feels your thighs tremble and your walls clench around him, he knows you must be close.

“Please,” he whimpers, “Please cum for me Y-Y/N! Ngh! M’gonna cum too!”

He squeezes his eyes shut and collides his lips with yours, desperately kissing you as he picks up his pace, thrusting as hard as he physically can. Until he just can’t hold it in any longer, and he’s moaning into your mouth as his cock twitches inside of you, painting your insides white.

And even though he’s feeling overly sensitive and vulnerable, he continues thrusting into you to ensure you reach your peak too. And it isn’t but a few seconds before you’re crashing with him. Tightening your legs around his hips and moaning his name. A sweet sound he never thought he’d hear.

Collapsed on top of you, he pants in an attempt to catch his breath, holding you close and just basking in the feeling of you. Letting it all sink in that he finally got to do something he’s always wanted. Quite frankly, he’s never been happier. So happy in fact, that he doesn’t even realize that he came inside of you without asking.

But after a few minutes, he finally pulls out of you and kisses you once more. “That was perfect…” he whispers as he moves a strand of hair out of your face, “I’ll be right back.”

He quickly goes to his bathroom to get a wet cloth, then comes back and starts cleaning you up. It’s not until then that it dawns on him and his expression changes from one of pure joy to immense guilt.

“Oh shit… I-I’m so sorry Y/N. I’m such an asshole,” you can see his heart slowly starting to break as he realizes what he’s done. He feels so incredibly selfish and disrespectful for finishing inside of you. It’s something he’s never intended to do, he was just so caught in the moment he didn’t stop to think about it.

“Gyutaro,” you coo, hugging him and kissing his cheek, “It’s alright, if I didn’t want you to do it I would have told you so. I really don’t mind at all.”

“A-Are you sure? But I should’ve asked if it was ok…”

“You’re my boyfriend now, and I trust you. I told you I loved you, didn’t I?”

“Y-Yeah,” he nods and hugs you back, “Thank you…”

“I would have said it was ok anyway, so don’t worry. You did everything right,” you kiss him again and rub his back.

Gyutaro’s surprised you aren’t making a big deal out of him not pulling out, but he’s glad you aren’t mad. Maybe he’s making a bigger deal out of it because he’s older and has a better grasp on the consequences. Or perhaps it is normal for couples to do it that way. He wouldn’t know. But either way, he feels lucky to have had such a moment with you.

After the two of you are done cleaning you snuggle up together in his bed, not bothering to put clothes on. Gyutaro wraps his arms around you and holds you close all night. Falling asleep feeling like his life is finally on the right track. His dreams filled of your future together.

.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚.

At 6 am Gyutaro wakes you up to take you home. You’re reluctant to get out of bed with him because you were so comfortable, but you know it’s probably best to go home before his sister wakes up.

It’s strange because there has always been a slight awkwardness between you and Gyutaro, like something was preventing you from getting closer to each other. Maybe it was his insecurities or maybe it was the pressure of dating someone with such a large age gap. Who knows, but whatever it is, it’s gone now. After last night that awkwardness is completely gone. And the two of you feel closer and more comfortable together than ever before. It makes leaving him this morning even more difficult.

But you don’t have a choice so you quickly get dressed and sneak into Gyutaro’s car with him.

Once he gets to your home, he parks in front of your house and gets out of the car to come open the door for you.

“Thanks,” you giggle and kiss his cheek, “such a gentleman.”

“I try,” he blushes, “Um by the way… I think I’m gonna tell Ume about us. Is that alright?”

“Oh, yeah! Of course! I don’t mind if you tell her, it’s probably best coming from you.”

“Yeah, hopefully she takes it well…” he trails off.

“Well, good luck,” you give him one last hug and kiss, “I love you.”

“I-I love you too, we’ll hang out again soon!” He blows you a kiss as he watches you walk into your house, feeling a warm sensation creep into him. This must be what love feels like.

.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚.

A few hours later Ume wakes up, and Gyutaro makes pancakes for her in an attempt to get her in a good mood so she’ll take the news a bit easier.

He sits down with her at the table as they eat together, “So Ume, I uh… I have something to tell you.”

“Hm?” she hums with her mouth full.

“So um,” he says hesitantly, “I have a girlfriend.”

Her eyes widen and she immediately leaps out of her seat and gives him a tight hug, “Oh my god!!! Why didn’t you tell me?! This is great! I’m so happy for you, brother!! Who is she?”

Gyutaro is warmed by his sister's positive reaction so he feels a bit more at ease. “Well um, you already know her…”

“I do?” she quirks a brow, seemingly confused since she can’t think of anyone she knows who would be dating her brother.

“It’s… it’s Y/N.”

She immediately lets go of him and takes a step back, looking him up and down in disgust. “You’re joking, right?”

“No, I’m not joking, Ume,” he begins to get nervous, “We’ve been dating for a while and I didn’t tell you because I was afraid of how you’d react… please don’t be mad.”

“Are you fucking kidding me, Gyutaro?” she pushes his chest, “That’s disgusting!! What’s wrong with you?!”

“Please Ume, I-”

“She’s younger than me!! You know that don’t you?? Please don’t tell me you guys are fucking too!”

He looks away, feeling completely ashamed.

Filled with rage, Ume slaps him in the face, “You’re disgusting!! I’m leaving!” She storms off to her room and begins packing her things.

Gyutaro is left in utter shock, standing there holding his cheek and feeling the sting from her hand. Never in his entire life has his sister put her hands on him like that. Tears begin to fill his eyes, but even though he’s full of sadness he can’t help but be angry too.

When Ume comes back into the dining room with a bag full of her things he grabs her by the arm and yells at her, “You have no right to say that to me!”

“Like hell I do!” she yanks her arm away from him, “Not only are you sleeping with my best friend, but she’s also 14 years younger than you! Don’t you realize how creepy and predatory that is?!”

“It isn’t! She’s a grown fucking woman!!” he finally stands up for himself, “I didn’t fall in love with her because she’s young, I fell in love with her because she’s an amazing person and she accepts me for who I am! And she actually appreciates the things I do! Unlike you!!”

“Shut up!” she clenches her fists and stomps over to the front door, “You’re just like all those old desperate creeps who are too pathetic to get with a woman their age!!”

“Can I not be happy, Ume? You know I’ve dedicated my entire life to you and now that I want to do something for myself you insult me! Are you kidding me? The only one acting pathetic here is you. I’ve lived so much of my life alone and living in your shadow, and I’ve finally found someone that makes me happy… can’t you just be happy for me?”

She frowns, “No, I can’t,” and with that she leaves, slamming the door behind her.

Gyutaro stands there, completely dumbfounded. A mixture of emotions swirling inside of him. But the strongest one is sadness. Sad that this sister isn’t happy for him, sad that she can’t support him like he’s always done for her, and sad that her words about him being a creep may actually be true.

After his night with you, he was feeling confident and proud, but now it’s all crumbling apart and he can’t help but feel like a complete and utter loser. Maybe his sister is right, maybe he is just a pathetic middle-aged man who’s so desperate for love that he goes after someone younger than him.

He slumps into the couch and lets these negative thoughts consume him. Until he feels his phone buzz.

“Hey Gyu! How’d it go with Ume? You should call me and spill the tea!”

A text from his girlfriend.

He can’t help but smile. You explained to him what “tea” meant but he had already forgotten. You’ll have to teach him again.

Seeing how casually you text him makes him think about how happy he feels every time he receives a message from you. He knows what Ume said isn’t true, but that doesn’t mean her words don’t hurt.

He needs you, and he needs you now. You’re the only person that he can talk to about this, and the only person who will be able to comfort him.

So, he doesn’t bother replying and he just drives over to your house. His heart feels broken but he knows you’ll be able to mend it, like you always do.

After parking in your driveway, he runs up to the front door and knocks.

“Hello?” an older women opens the door. She looks a bit older than Gyutaro and has similar features to you.

“Holy shit, is this her mom?” he thinks to himself. “Fuck! I should have texted her and asked if it was ok to come over…”

“Er um… is Y/N here?” he says nervously.

“Yes, she is,” your mom quirks her brow and looks him up and down, “And who the hell are you?”

Gyutaro gulps, sweating nervously. He knows he can’t just say he’s your boyfriend, she’s probably not too fond of the idea of her 21-year-old daughter dating a man in his 30s. And this is when Gyutaro realizes, he’s fucked.

Taglist: @gyusimp @chibi-absol @kyu-kitsune @idontevenknowlsjsbsbdj @tremendoushorsepatrolgoth @sterzin @cherrysxuya @angelicsaiko @misskaorii @matsukaah @merryclaus @dawn-rays-dingo @hoshigafuru (feel free to let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist, your age must be listed on your blog. Also some of the usernames tagged aren't underlined? They are when I am on the editing screen so I'm not sure what's happening! If you know how to fix it please let me know!) ♡

#gyutaro #gyutaro shabana #gyutaro x reader #gyutaro x y/n #gyuutarou #gyuutarou x reader #gyutaro smut #ume shabana #kny x reader #demon slayer x reader #age difference #kny smut #demon slayer smut

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yelenasdiary · 6 months ago

Note

Hii, can I request something like Reader is friends with Florence or Yelena (you can choose) and they were traveling for work and had to spend like a week in Las Vegas, and one night they got super drunk and got married to each other. Like, how they would react to waking up the next morning with a ring on their finger (bonus points if they're naked lol).

I just love your writing so much 💙 but don't feel pressured to write it if you don't want to ~ 🐳

Waking Up In Vegas

Pairing: Yelena Belova x Fem! Reader

Summary: When Kate throws a party for an undercover mission, it opens the door to you and Yelena to have a little fun, maybe a little too much fun…

Fluff? Idk, maybe more comfort?

Warnings: Enemies to loves kind of vibe?, Mentions of drinking, Mentions of gambling, language warning, suggestive themes, Mentions of being sick & hung over | 1.9K

AC: I love this idea; I am also a little biased because I enjoyed the movie lmao, but I hope you enjoy this & thank you for sending it! x

"Remember, don't blow this!" Kate's voice came through to your earpiece. You couldn't help but roll your eyes at your friend's reminder, "focus on your mission, bishop" you replied before taking a sip of your drink. Kate's plan was to lure her target by throwing a small party at a casino and to your surprise she was able to get Yelena to help her out, considering that Yelena hated the idea of being an Avenger of any kind. The blonde took a seat next to you at the bar, sighing when you looked over to her.

"I'm surprised to see you here" you said under your breath just so she could hear.

"It seems that Kate Bishop needed some real help" she replied, downing a shot of vodka the minute the bartender walked away. You chuckled, "it's always a pleasure to see you, Belova" you replied. You could say that you and Yelena were never really the best of friends, she hated everything you stood for almost and you didn't understand why she didn't want to put her widow skills into helping the world. Although she always told you that she was helping the world another way, you just assumed she hated working in a team.

"I could say the same about you, but it never is a pleasure" Yelena replied, reaching over the bar and grabbing an entire bottle of vodka. "Hey!" The bartender called out, rushing over to the blonde. "Calm down, I was going to pay" Yelena said, her thick accent making it clear to the man behind the bar that she was probably somebody not to mess with. She placed some money on the bar which he took with an eye roll and watched as Yelena popped the lid off and poured herself another drink.

"Isn't that a waste of money for you? I mean, does the vodka even affect you at all?" you asked. Yelena looked up at you and chuckled, "it does, eventually. It just means I get to drink more than you can before making a fool of myself"

You rolled your eyes at her sarcasm before you pulled out a small bottle and placed it on the bar, "maybe you should try this" you said.

"What would that be?" Yelena asked.

"Asgardian Ale" you replied confidently. Yelena raised a brow, "you mean what the gods drink?" She questioned. You nodded as you downed what was left of your drink and began to pour some Ale into your glass. With a quick flick of her wrist, Yelena's shot glass slid down to you.

"You're not one for manners, are you?" You cocked a brow.

"You offered me a drink, I'll thank you when that glass is back in my hand"

This was what it was always like for you two, bickering with one another. "Guys your earpieces are still on" Kate's voice rang through the small device in your right ear, "do you both still have eyes on the target?" She asked. You poured Yelena a shot of the strong ale and slid it back down to you, "he hasn't moved an inch" you informed Kate.

"Still gambling away those stolen millions" Yelena added.

"Just, stay focused!" Kate said.

"Looks like we're in for a long night, Belova" you turned slightly to face Yelena, drink in hand as you slightly raised it up. Yelena sighed in agreement before clinking her glass with yours. She threw the drink down the back of her throat like it was nothing, you couldn't help but chuckle before taking a mouthful of your drink.

——

The loud banging on the hotel door woke Yelena, she groaned to herself as she slowly sat up. Her eyes barely staying awake, her head throbbing with a headache, the consistent knocking wasn't helping. She looked to her left and suddenly her eyes stopped fighting the need to be closed. There you lay, naked with the bed sheet barely covering you, peacefully sleeping. Yelena's eyes dropped to her own body before her mind went wild trying to remember the events of last night.

"Yelena! Open the door!" She heard Kate's call bringing her thoughts back. Yelena stumbled out of bed, grabbing the first two pieces of clothing she saw as she dressed herself as she made her way to the door.

"Kate Bishop, do you know how to be quiet when somebody is hung over?" Yelena groaned. Kate cocked a brow, "hung over? You? Really?" She questioned.

"What do you want Kate Bishop?" Yelena asked sternly.

"Come on, it's been like what? 5 years and you're still calling me by my full name?"

"It's been 3 and yes" Yelena replied.

"Right. Well, I just wanted to come by and thank you for the help last night, I know you hate all this Avenger business but it was much appreciated" Kate smiled. Yelena frowned, wondering how somebody could be so cheerful and happy so early in the morning. "You should probably have a shower, might help with the hang over" the archer added.

"You're welcome, I'm going to take that shower now" Yelena replied, "I'll see you later Kate Bishop" she added before closing the door.

Her head was pounding more than before, she'd never felt such a strong hangover before she thought as she made her way back to the bedroom. You hadn't moved a muscle which amazed Yelena considering she believed that Kate had probably woken up a few guests on the floor. Before Yelena knew it, she was back in bed and everything was black once more, peace and quiet to sleep off her headache.

By the time you slowly began to wake up it was already a little after midday, you didn't drink near as much as Yelena, but you drank enough to feel your stomach turning as you slowly sat up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. It took a second for you to notice the blonde sleeping beside you, your eyes widened when you noticed it was Yelena.

"Oh fuck!" You mumbled to yourself as you pulled the bed sheet over your naked body, "Yelena!" You nudged her. "Wake up!" You said, nudging her a little harder.

"Mmm" she mumbled as she stirred. Annoyed with her lack of concern, you kicked her out of bed.

"What was that for?!" Yelena spat as she picked herself up off the floor, "oh I don't know, maybe because I'm naked in your bed in your hotel room?" You snapped, "what the hell happened last night?" You asked, running one hand through your hair only for it to get caught in your locks.

"All I remember is drinking a shot of that Asgardian Ale and the next thing I know; I'm waking up to Kate Bishop banging on the door and you kicking me out of bed!" Yelena explained.

"Oh no" you mumbled after finally untangling your hand from your hair. A small silver band on your ring finger only added to the list of worries, you looked up at Yelena who was also looking at a similar ring on her ring finger. "Please tell me we didn't get married" you said.

"Don't be stupid, we weren't that drunk" Yelena replied, "right?" She added unsurely when she noticed the ring on her finger. You rolled your eyes as you threw your head back onto the pillow, "this cannot be happening right now" you sighed as you covered your face with your hands. The room became silent, you tried your best to rack your brain for any memories of last night but like Yelena you couldn't remember anything after the two of you shared a couple of Thor's drink.

Yelena wandered into the bathroom, splashing cold water on her face to keep her from needing extra sleep. "I will never trust you with alcohol again" you heard her say as she made her way back to the bedroom. Slowly, you sat back up and placed your feet on the floor. The bed sheet still wrapped around you as you scanned the room to find your clothing only to find it scattered from the living room to the bedroom. "I can't believe you did trust me" you muttered in reply, walking by her and locking yourself in the bathroom. "Look where that got me" Yelena replied.

----

The evaluator dinged as the doors began to slide open, both you and Yelena were greeted with a very happy, to happy, Kate Bishop with a smile from ear to ear she couldn't help hiding the chuckle that she let out as the two of you walked towards her.

"What's so funny?" You asked with a cocked brow. After having a shower and returning to your own room to change into fresh clothes, you felt a little better, but a good meal was going to make you feel much better. Kate invited you both to the buffet for lunch in the lobby, Yelena's head still throbbing, not as much as earlier but enough for her to keep her shades on.

"Just the two of you and the fun you both hide" Kate replied cheekily.

"Fun?" Yelena questioned. Kate nodded, "you both have no idea what happened last night, do you?" She asked. You looked to Yelena who let out a sigh, "what do you know Kate Bishop?" The Russian asked. You looked back at Kate waiting for her to answer.

"Well, after the team and I got out target, mind you, neither of you were around so thanks so much for the help" Kate started in a sarcastic tone, "I found the two of you drunk as balls in the VIP bar. Y/n, you were dancing on the bar while Yelena threw money at you, from what I heard you both shouted every bodies drinks. So I thought I would leave you both to it, which I did" Kate went on, a cheeky smile on her lips told you she knew more than she was telling.

"Go on" you said.

"It was around 4am when you both came banging on my door, stumbling over each other's feet, not making any sense of words but Yelena confidently announced that you both had just got hitched"

"Oh god" Yelena mumbled under her breath.

"So, it's true, it really happened" you said, running your left hand through your hair in distress.

"I honestly couldn't be happier my two closet friends are married!" Kate replied happily causing both you and Yelena to give her an unimpressed look. "Wait, so when you came to my room early this morning, yo-"

"I just wanted to see how you pulled up" Kate interrupted, "and before you ask, no, you both didn't sleep together as far as I know anyway. I tried to get you both to go to bed in your own rooms but you insisted that we go to the rooftop hot tub where you both striped and I had to drag you both back to your room where Y/n passed out in the bed and it took you a another 20 minutes before you too were passed out" the brunette added, looking at Yelena.

A moment of silence was shared, you couldn't believe the information Kate just had just shared and you made a promise to yourself that you would never drink that much Asgardian Ale ever again. "So, lunch, anybody hungry?" Kate asked with yet another cheeky smile. Yelena turned to you, "divorce after lunch my sweetheart?" She asked in a sarcastic tone.

"Let's make it quick" you replied.

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#yelenasdiary asks #🐳 anon #fanfiction #yelena belova #marvel #Yelena Belova x reader #Kate Bishop #Kate Bishop x reader

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cherryskyies · 2 years ago

Text

What your favorite slasher says about you — part two

includes: og michael myers, bo sinclair, vincent sinclair

this is just the start of my slasher writing. so far, they are winning on the poll, so what better way to start than to finish old pieces?

please bare w me, my writing is a smidge rusty ok 😔

Masterlist || Navigation || a03

Og Michael Myers

I can't explain it well, but he is the equivalent of that inner cold feeling when you were at your lowest. You can still remember it in memories and it's a comfort you can't let go. It's giving major attachment issues, even to things that ruined you. Letting go of your past is like letting go of yourself — you can't do it.

You weren't listened to growing up either, and maybe even now you still aren't. Advice was given, especially when you didn't want it. You're desperate to have someone just listen.

Alone time is a must in your life, you can't have someone all up in your business 24/7.

Probably a water sign with an air moon. Or a Taurus who never had stability.

Rough sex is a must. I mean, it's Michael. Rough is the only way you'll get it and you like it like that. Also, it's giving blood & knife play vibes.

Very independent. You'd rather die than have to depend on another person for necessities.

Bo Sinclair

It's giving possible substance abuse or alcoholism. I mean, you only drink Monday-Sunday?? What's the harm in that?

You crave possession in a relationship. Maybe you never felt special, so it's a must to have a partner willing to kill for you and show you off.

Bondage is definitely an interest of yours. You might be into forced submission and definitely into being covered in marks.

It's also giving daddy issues. Something about an older man calling you baby and sweetheart sends you into overdrive. You want him to provide and you want him to make most of the decisions while you sit pretty.

You've never experienced a stable relationship either, especially with men, so you don't care that he'd be toxic. You only care that he's there and not likely to leave.

Probably an earth sign or neglected fire sign.

Vincent Sinclair

Either an only child or the ignored one — maybe both.

Body worship is a must. Nothing more attractive than a man that makes you feel special, loved, and seen.

You don't care about money or expensive dates and trips. You'd be happy with a picnic and spending alone time together, because to you it means more than anything money could buy.

Definitely insecure yourself, so you're drawn to those with obvious flaws; not that you think he's flawed, but it gives a deeper understanding.

Actions mean more than words. You've likely been let down by those who have said they would do something, but never did.

Soft, meaningful sex is your style. If you can't feel an emotional connection or you don't feel loved during, then you aren't happy and begin to feel insecure in the relationship.

You enjoy peace and tranquility. Maybe you're an artist or it simply fascinates you due to the complexity and millions of meanings. Do you stay up and think about the past and it's art, wondering what was going through their minds and what they had witnessed to create it?

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imissjoongsmullet · 2 years ago

Text

you belong to me

Pairing: Yunho x reader

Genre: idk man, soft angst, good amount of romance, and a dash of sexy

Summary: Your boyfriend takes you to a themepark with his friends but things take a turn when his jealousy takes over

Warnings: cuteness, possessive boyfriend Yunho, haunted houses?? honestly this is pretty chill, nothing too crazy babes, just read this if you like cute boyfriends that get a bit jealous ok

Word Count: 2K

Author’s Note: um yeah so first of all sorry for disappearing for so long, honestly I don’t know if i’m coming back just yet. This was just something that had to get out of my system so I wrote it (you know how it issssss), and i wanted to share with a friend so I figured I might as well post it. The writing was incredibly rushed and perhaps messy but it’s somethingggggg! I just hope someone out here enjoys it ^^

Also if you’ve left me a request that I haven’t gotten to yet, I send my apologies and one million good vibes your wayyyy

***

The sun shone bright, kissing the skin of your bare arms. You smiled up at your boyfriend, who was walking beside you — a tall teddy bear of a man by the name of Yunho. He gave a shy smile back and took your hand in his. You couldn’t help but blush a little. This was the first time he’d taken you out in a group setting and you weren’t sure how his friends would react to the two of you together.

It wasn’t long before you realized you had little to worry about. One carousel ride in, the ice was broken when the oldest of the group got so dizzy he ran into a trashcan. His friends were all really easygoing, it seemed, and they made you feel part of the team in no time. One of Yunho’s friends in particular took the time to make you feel comfortable — a dark-haired boy with a sweet twinkle in his eyes. He asked you how you’d met, where you were from, and made light-hearted jokes when the others were talking amongst themselves.

“Ever tried these?” he said, holding up a roll of candy.

You were all in line for the log ride; a 40 minute wait, and you had to admit you were starting to get hungry.

You let him drop a single gummy-like thing into your palm. “What are they?” you asked.

“They’re chewy,” he replied as he popped one into his mouth, “a bit sour at first but sweet on the inside.”

“She doesn’t like sour things,” someone said behind you.

Yunho’s hand slid slyly around your waist and he left a quick kiss near your temple.

“No, it’s okay,” you said, putting the candy in your mouth with a smile, “it looks delicious.” You didn’t want Yunho’s friends to think you were a difficult person or anything.

A long half hour later the entire group was facing the safety bar to board the ride. The gates opened with a creak and everyone moved toward the boat. Just as you meant to step in beside your new friend though, Yunho took hold of your wrist and bent down to your ear.

“You go sit in the front. I’ll be right behind you.”

He moved you over to the front of the ride, getting in after you, one leg of his on either side of you. Even though the front seat usually scares you, feeling his arms wrap around you tightly made you feel secure. You leaned back against his warm chest and let the scary things come.

This was the way it was with Yunho. Nothing could ever be frightening as long as he was with you because you knew he would always protect you. Just as you’d expected, he held you tight the entire ride, his large frame shielding you from wind and water alike, leaving you the only member of the group to not come out the log ride soaking wet.

He was being touchy, you could tell — more than usual, even. You weren’t entirely sure why but you definitely weren’t going to complain. You loved feeling his love this way. His gaze lingered on you as you chatted to his friends, his fingers coming up to run absent-minded tracks along your arm, asking for attention. You hoped he was proud of you for being social and mingling like this.

“Let’s go in the haunted house!” the dark-haired boy exclaimed, pointing excitedly to a large structure that looked like an abandoned castle.

“I don’t know about this,” you started, limbs stiffening. You meant to turn back to Yunho but before you could face him, the other boy grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you toward the entrance.

“Come on!” he said, smiling from ear to ear, “we can all go together!”

Once at the entrance, Yunho appeared before you, blocking you from the rest of the group.

“I know you don’t like haunted houses, baby,” he said, taking your hands in his, “but don’t worry, I’m right here. Nothing is going to happen. Just hold on to me,” he explained, before giving you a small peck on the forehead. Then he turned so he was in front of you and all you could see was his broad back.

Your heart pounded as you all started walking together. You didn’t want to disappoint your boyfriend, so you held onto his waist, fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt, and followed.

“Shit,” you heard an animated whisper next to you, “it’s so dark.”

A hand came to rest on your shoulder. You flinched for a second but realized it was only one of the friends trying not to get seperated from the group.

All of a sudden, thunderous clap rattled the room and everyone screamed. There was a flash of light and the next moment, sounds that could only be described as undead, roared from behind.

“Run!” the voice next to you yelled and you all scrambled forward. There was a mess of hands tugging and pulling at you as you ran and you suddenly had no idea where Yunho was. You could tell he was still around somewhere — you knew his scent and aura all too well — but soon you weren’t sure which limb belonged to who and you didn’t have the courage to care.

Another flash broke the dark for the blink of an eye, showing a zombie-like creature standing at the end of a hall you’d just entered.

More screaming and tugging and pure chaos erupted and all you could think was how you didn’t want to be left alone. You grabbed hold of the first person you could find and together you ran screaming until, at last, you came upon a large, dimly-lit chamber.

It took no less than a second for Yunho to appear. Without a word, he pressed himself between you and the dark-haired friend, forcing you apart rather harshly. A guilty hot flush ran to your cheeks but there was no time to ponder what had just happened because the next moment, a band of monsters ran into the room, sending panic through your body once again.

“Up!” Yunho ordered as you felt him tap your thigh. Without another thought, you jumped up onto his back, letting him carry you swiftly from the room and into another dark hallway. You buried your face into his neck, squeezing you eyes closed until finally, you felt a breeze of fresh air in your hair.

“Ahh, today was so nice!” the dark-haired friend grinned as he slid onto the bench next to you and Yunho, “I don’t want to go back home.”

The theme park had just closed and you were finishing off the day with comfort food at a nearby family restaurant. You hadn’t had a proper meal all day and were pretty much starving at this point so you ordered a large size pizza. Another good thing about being with Yunho was that he would most likely finish whatever food you couldn’t eat. Big boys need big meals, you always said.

Low and behold, you started feeling full about halfway through your meal.

“Can I have a piece?” the dark-haired friend asked, leaning close to you with a smile.

“Sure!” You nodded, allowing him to grab a piece from your plate. You were always glad to share.

“You can try some of my fries too if you want,” he mumbled through a mouthful of pizza, “the sauce is amazing.”

They did look good, you thought, so you agreed.

“Here.” He smiled and picked up some fries with his fork. Chuckling gleefully, he moved closer to feed you but before the fork could reach your lips, high-pitched shrieks rang out all around the table as one of the drink glasses had just fallen over, spilling soda everywhere.

“Sorry,” you heard Yunho say as you and the others leaned over the table to grab tissues, “my hand slipped.”

“Be careful, baby,” you said gently, noticing a whole bunch of it had spilled in your lap as well.

“Oh no,” the dark-haired boy laughed, “that’s gonna get sticky.” He started laying tissues in your lap, patting them down with his hands when—

“I think you should go clean up in the bathroom.” Yunho’s voice was strained and dead serious. Taken off guard, you stared at him. He stared right back, eyes harder than you’d seen them all day.

“Right,” you said, scrambling up, only to realize you were still sandwiched on the bench between Yunho and the dark-haired guy. “This way,” Yunho said, taking your wrist and pulling you toward himself, making you squeeze by him.

Your face was hot as you left the table. Yunho was angry, that much was clear. Feelings of guilt flooded you. All you ever wanted was to be good to him. On a deeper, more secretive level though, you couldn’t deny the look he’d just given you made your knees weak in quite a pleasurable way.

Pull yourself together, you thought as you entered the hallway to the bathrooms. You stopped for a second to catch your breath, wondering what exactly was going on. You thought everything had been going great; you were getting closer to his friends and you were really starting to—

Someone gave you a push. You gasped as a hand tugged your shoulder, turning you around and shoving you against the wall.

“Yunho,” you whispered breathlessly.

“What do you think you’re doing?” your boyfriend said in a low voice. His hands were on either side of your face and his large frame towered over you, trapping you.

“What do you mean?” you asked, staring up at him hopelessly. Yunho was not a scary guy. He was like a golden retriever; happy-go-lucky, playful and so so sweet; so the rare times something did piss him off, it made your heart thump a million miles an hour.

He shook his head, brows furrowed. “Baby girl, don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.” One of his hands left the wall to caress your cheek, gently, though his eyes were still intense as ever. “I had to watch my princess, all day, getting ju—-st a little too close to my friend.” His fingers moved down your chin, trailing you neck so lightly and so slowly you had to hold your breath. They traveled down to your chest, where one finger poked you. “Do you know how that makes me feel?”

Realization hit you like the strike of lightning. In all your anxiousness trying to get his friends to like you, you hadn’t stopped to consider your boundaries as much as you probably should have.

“Yunho, I—”

“Do you know how hard it is for me to watch you be touched by anyone else?” he said, his voice strained with emotion.

“I didn’t mean to, I swear—”

“You were going to let him feed you.”

“I’m sorry—”

“Do you know who you belong to?”

You stared at him with desperation in your eyes. “I’m yours, baby, I promise.”

“Say that again,” he said darkly, hand coming to hold your chin.

“I’m yours, Yunho. Yours only—” you let out a gasp as his other hand ran down your side to your thighs momentarily, then back up, landing at your waist and squeezing softly.

“That’s good,” he said and you could tell the fire in his eyes was dying down. He pulled you close by the small of your back and let out a breath against your ear.

“Yunho,” you whispered, barely audible. He felt so overwhelmingly good against you.

Fingers caressed your back as he trailed little kisses down the shell of your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

“You like that don’t you?” he murmured and all you could do was hum in response.

“You want more of that, don’t you?” he went on.

“Yes, please.” Your answer was automatic.

“Well,” he went on exploring your body, “if you want more of this, you’re going to have to be a very good girl for me.” He turned his head to face you, so close you could feel his breath on your lips. “Can you do that for me princess?”

You nodded and finally, he smiled again, love flooding his features once more. He gave you one soft, slow, lingering kiss that made your legs feel like they might give out, before pulling away and grabbing you by the hand.

“Let’s finish dinner quickly so we can get home soon.”

You knew what that meant, and suddenly, you couldn’t wait to leave.

#yunho #ateez #yunho drabble #yunho imagines #yunho imagine #yunho angst #yunho fluff #cute yunho #ateez imagines #yunho x reader #yunho x you

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lychens · 8 months ago

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I haven't been on tumblr in forever but I thought you used to be trans? I hope you're not one of those transphobic de-trans people now

im going to try to give this a charitable response but before i do, i just really, really want to emphasize how shitty of an ask this was to send to a stranger you know the bare minimum about. there were a million and one better ways to phrase this without being fucking rude about it

i used to identify as trans starting at age 15 up until about age 20 to 21. i socially transitioned and intended on physically transitioning until i did some introspection and realized that wasn't the path meant for me. i'm comfortable being referred to as a woman, but many of my friends still use he/him pronouns for me and i'm equally as comfortable with that. i'm not cis, i'm not trans, and the nonbinary label doesn't feel right on me. i'm not interested in elaborating any further than that because again, you were super fucking rude and i don't like your vibe!

#replies

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writtenbygracewilliams · 7 months ago

Text

Inspired by Kathani Sharma’s hatred of English tea and the fact Anthony is absolutely WHIPPED for this woman. Here is my ficlet. Thank you a million times over to my incredible beta @tofanasmuse ilysm.

Let me know what you think, send requests anytime, and free Palestine.

–Grace Williams xo

Word Count: 562 | Rating: General | Vibe: Fluff

Chai Love You

Kate Bridgerton still had little desire for Anthony to splash around his money on expensive gifts, despite her change in title. She appreciated living comfortably, sure, she would not deny that, but spending the family fortune on lavish clothes and hats was not something that brought her a great deal of joy.

Of course, to every rule there is an exception. They had barely stepped off the boat in Bombay, but Anthony could already see how Kate was settled in a way she never was in England. More than anything else, the flavours of this city and country were refueling Kate’s soul. Anthony tried to appreciate them, but his English palate recoiled from the amount of chili.

Anthony, like any respectable doting husband, insisted on shipping whatever spices Kate desired back to England. Unlike most gifts proffered by her husband, Kate welcomed this one most happily.

Now here Kate stands, one week past her honeymoon, as the only Bridgerton who knows how to turn on a stove, making herself chai long after everyone else has gone to bed.

“What are you doing?” Anthony asks softly, leaning against the doorframe to the kitchen.

“Oh,” Kate turns, slightly startled, “I didn’t mean to wake you when I got up. I’m making a pot of chai,” she looks back to the stove, lightly stirring the mixture of milk and spices.

“I’m most impressed you know how to,” he replies amusedly, pressing himself off the wall.

“You’re impressed I know how to make a drink native to my culture?” she raises an eyebrow.

“No, of course not,” he rushes to clarify, “that you know how to use the,” he spares a look combining embarrassment and disdain, “stove.”

“You cannot be serious,” she snorts unbecomingly, falling into uncontrollable laughter that is much too loud given the hour of night.

“Did the cook not make chai this afternoon?” Anthony huffs, resting against the table in the centre of the room.

“She did…” Kate says slowly.

“What is it, Viscountess? Lady of the household?”

“Evidently my written instructions were not clear enough. The chai the cook made was, for lack of a better descriptor, inadequate.”

“Would you like to hire a second cook? One who specialises in Indian cuisine?”

“That’s most thoughtful of you to offer,” Kate smiles, placing a terracotta cover over the flame once her chai finishes brewing. “If a household this large has always had only one cook, then I shall not change that. I will just have to teach the cook of my culture’s food.”

“And you will do a most excellent job, of that I am certain,” Anthony grins proudly.

“I will do my best, to teach a cook how to cook,” she hums bemusedly.

“Is your chai adequate, my love?” he asks fondly, watching each delicate movement of the cup to her lips.

“It is perfect,” she sighs happily, unsure how she went without it for so long during the last London season. The two months since they had left India was long enough.

“I shall see to it that we always have the ingredients you require on hand,” Anthony promises, bringing her empty hand to his lips.

“If the Bridgerton fortune is to go to a collection of spices you cannot pronounce, I will ensure it does not go to waste. I shall see to it that you learn to love chai.”

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hayleytheewriter · 1 year ago

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Hey !! How are you ? I hope you're well :)

So I'm kinda new to DC and I really wanna get into Batfamily but I don't know how ? Like, I literally don't understand how Bruce has so many kids but also idc about logistics I just want to consume angsty found family and get obsessed over at least one character and get gender envy yk ?

Okay so basically, do you have any batfam fic recommendations for any1 just getting into batfam ?Or just your fav batfam fics ? I'd really appreciate any recs but if not no sweat !!!

thanks a million for reading and take care !! <3

<3 this is easily my favorite ask I've ever received!

I was the same way with the batfamily for so long, like every time Wayne Family Adventures would trend on Tumblr I'd be like why are there so many black haired boys??? Is one named Dick?

I'd definitely recommend reading Wayne Family Adventures on Webtoon but as for fic recs here are my top 7 batfam fics of all time, plus one wip that's less batfam, more timkon, but simply must be ranked.

Yesterday's Voices by Lemonadegarden... this was the fic that got me really into the fun but heartbreaking family dynamics. Also Tim plays a minor role, but this was the first time I was like, I need to know more about this guy. A quick summary: Batman gets amnesia and doesn't remember the last five years, or the recent death in the family, and the angst hits so hard.

exactly how this grace thing works by irnan... this is by far the best de-aged fic I've ever read. Dick, the oldest sibling, suddenly becomes the youngest and it's such a brilliant character analysis. And I'm always a fan of Dick Grayson getting the love and appreciation he deserves.

The Study of Birds by Maskoftheray… this one focuses on the sibling dynamics, mainly between Tim, Damian, and Dick. It’s hurt/comfort with birdwatching and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since I read it.

Brother Wanted by Vamillepudding... This is an au where a ten year old Tim places an ad in the newspaper for a brother and it's as cute and perfect as it sounds. The Jason and Tim bonding in this is 10/10 and makes all their canon angst that much more devastating

Send to All by Kerosceene... literally funniest fic of all time. I normally hate textfics but this whole story is told through email and it's PERFECT and HILARIOUS 10/10 required reading for batfam vibes at their best

World's Saddest Breakfast Club by motleyfam... this fic includes the whole fam and it's so sweet about it. Jason breaks into the manor and ends up cooking everyone breakfast.

scapegoat by envysparkler... the sibling blame game in this is so real. Basically the family starts blaming Jason for every little thing because Bruce would never get mad at the child he just reconciled with.

And the BONUS timkon fic that's currently being updated

8. buy back the secrets by sundiscus... the only fic I'm subscribed to! It's a TimKon fic but the Tim and Jason conversations in chapter two are so perfectly done. I can't recommend it enough!!

#ao3 #batfam fic #batfamily fic #batman fic rec

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cal-daisies-and-briars · 2 months ago

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Ooooh really excited about the new emojis&fics!! hope ive got the right ones here:

🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞

sending good vibes your way along with the emojis, and keep up the good work!!

- feather

Hi Feather! Thank you so very much!!!!

39 for 🔼:

---

Shannon wraps an arm around him and kisses his head.

“It’s okay, baby. I’m okay,” she pants. “We’re both safe. We’re going to be fine.”

Buck feels a wash of relief, watching Shannon comfort her son. He did it. He saved them. They will be safe, as long as they stay on that roof. Whatever happens from here, Buck kept them - all three of them - safe. He did his job.

Buck exhales heavily. Just as he does, the Jeep lurches. Buck stumbles.

“BUCK!” He hears Shannon shriek as he slips and topples off the Jeep into the water.

▶️

It’s one thing to be working as a first responder when a fucking tsunami hits Santa Monica. It’s another to know that your child, kind of ex-wife and the child she’s carrying, and best friend are out there. Driving around in it. And if that all sucks, try hearing that all those people - the most important three people in your entire world - have in fact been hit by the fucking wave.

“I need you to stay calm,” Bobby says sternly as he explains the situation to Eddie. “I’ve just heard from Dispatch…”

Eddie goes numb. He listens, but it’s like his ears don’t work. They’re ringing. They’re as loud as he imagines the wave is, drowning out Bobby’s words. There are a million alarms blaring in his brain. The whole of his fucking heart is in danger. All of them at once. Like someone has carpet bombed his fucking soul.

“We’re going after them, Eddie,” Bobby promises. “But I need you to follow the chain of command and keep your cool.”

Eddie can do that. Eddie knows how. He’s not Buck, after all. He can scream, completely internally. He can fall apart, and still soldier on.

“Whatever you say,” Eddie tells him.

“Then let’s go.”

---

39 for ❄️:

---

“Then maybe you should say something.”

“I’m probably just being overly sensitive,” Buck shrugs. “He doesn’t mean anything by it, right?”

“I don’t think he does,” Eddie agrees. “But still. If you feel bad, then he should change the way he’s talking to you.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Buck mutters. He takes a sip of beer.

Eddie gets the feeling he’s not actually going to address it with Tommy.

He should be happy, maybe. There’s an inherent incompatibility there. A softness about Buck that needs the right person to cherish it. Tommy isn’t that person. Eddie wants to be that person. Eventually. He thinks he’d be better suited to it. But he’s not happy. This isn’t what Buck deserves, even in the meantime.

“You deserve the kind of person who cares about how the way they talk makes you feel,” Eddie says.

Buck’s cheeks redden a little.

“Yeah, yeah,” he says.

“I’m serious,” Eddie says sternly.

Buck turns to look at him. Eddie can’t quite read the look in his eyes.

“Thanks,” he mutters eventually. “I’ll think about it, okay?”

“You’d better.”

vi.

The summer drags on. Buck stays with Tommy. Christopher stays in Texas. Stays silent. Gerrard stays at the 118. Eddie stays in therapy, both types.

More importantly, he stays in frequent contact with Charlie. Which somehow becomes the biggest source of positivity in his very dreary life. They talk all the time. First, by email. Then, by text. And eventually, they take to video calls outside of therapy sessions.

---

39 for 🪞:

---

“I don’t feel like we’re at the stage where I should be making big life decisions based on what you think of them,” Buck says honestly. “I-I mean I’d like for us to get there, but-”

“I don’t think so,” Tommy cuts him off.

“Uh, what?” Buck asks.

“I don’t think we’ll get there, Evan,” Tommy clarifies. “Not if you’re doing this without even consulting me.”

And Buck supposes he knew this was a risk. Didn’t he?

“Is that an ultimatum?” Buck asks.

“I guess it is,” Tommy replies. “I’ve never wanted children.”

“I’m not asking you to be her dad,” Buck says.

“Aren’t you?” Tommy rebuts. “Asking me to play stepdad?”

Those words settle over Buck like a vat of acid.

“I’m not asking you to play at anything, Tommy,” he says lowly. “I’m telling you what’s happening in my life. If you don’t want to be a part of it, that’s completely fine.”

It is. He realizes. It is completely fine. Buck knows the difference between needs and wants. He needs to be able to sleep at night, knowing he did what he could for this kid. He wants a partner. The priority level is clear.

He walks himself out a few minutes later and drives to Eddie’s.

▪️▪️▪️

“Sorry, man,” Eddie says quietly. “That’s a bummer.”

“I should probably find someone else to vent to,” Buck admits. “He’s your friend.”

“Mm, not really. If he thought we’d try to replace my son.”

“Yeah,” Buck groans. “I can’t believe he said that.”

“Me neither,” Eddie agrees.

#daisies and briars writes #buddie shannon throuple fic #a cold world fic #we won't look back fic

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spotsupstuff · 1 year ago

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I wanna learn more about Blessing / Boreas. What’s up with all the bat flies with him? What’s his city like?

-rubs my hands together like a fly- uuuuuu boy, time to shake my blatantly favorite child Hell yeah huhuhuhuhuuu

the batflies enter the scene a good while after the Mass Ascension- they are his coping mechanism after Zephyr collapses and goes dark!

from the comic where they talk about Euros' n Sparrows' relationship, one can probably guess how close these two are. Boreas might be the big scary dog of the whole Eo family that punches things in the face rather than take any miniscule amount of shit, but when it comes to Zephyr he is very open and sweet. she's the only person who can actually influence his opinions and ideas greatly, because he loves and trusts her enough to allow her to do so. so when she collapses, he takes it the worst out of everyone. in a very quiet way. his pain if for him to keep, nobody else can know he's hurting

bear witness to Ňuňu

this lil shit was basically Boreas' therapy dog. just.. very very feckin teeny

child...

she is as smart as your typical bat, but the thing was that when she accidentally made her way into his chamber, he didn't have much will in himself to send the animal to eeby deeby so she got to flutter about. and as animals do, girlie used the empathy trap card to figure out this person who doesn't seem to be posing any danger is Sad. so she landed on his head, crawled up to look into his eyes and chirped

n that was the straw that broke the camel's back and Boreas had his first grief-inflicted breakdown ever. Ňuňu stayed during it and even after it, so emotionally-empty-feeling Boreas decided to take her in. hardly can replace Zephyr, but at least he isn't alone

Ňuňu later brought friends and Bee decided that he will look after them then. even after Ňuňu passes away, he still houses and raises them. the younglings like sleeping on his antennas so he has to watch himself to not move them too much sometimes. Euros has a folder full of photos like that

to his city- the name kush is:

originally from me looking for latin words for Rage. ended up going with Desaevio, because Bee is indeed positioned in a fitting place for the word

and the storm connection plus the last two are the main reasons why the Ancients called the city as such. after project Abet Zephyr ended in such a failure, they had to vent some stuff out. and we are going to claim that it is anger because that isn't as pitiful as shame or embarrassment

(the fact that almost every translator i put it into gives me "i'm sorry" works wonderfully, too. because what else will ultimately Boreas do, but quietly mutter to himself a mantra of apologies when he'll be lying in his chamber 30 seconds from his death, drowning in his regrets and mistakes?)

Desaevio was capable of comfortably supporting over 5 million people (no other Iterator city ever reaches that far- the max is ambitious Gen 3 cities that only ever reached around an estimate of 2.7 million) but at times housed over 6-7 million. despite lying close to the geographical location of Bergen in real life, Desaevio is very far from reaching such nice vibes (the old towns Boreas' structure overshadows come close, though). it is way closer to New York, but more dystopian. if u look up dystopian city on google images u get to see pretty closely what it looked like. combine it with Coruscant from star wars for bonus authencity with the layering

made up of skyscrapers, with endless layered bridges for means of transport (most commonly expres trains), with what little decoration of the buildings chipped away by time without anybody caring enough to restore the beauty- the grey, gloomy expanse of Desaevio is as majestic to witness as it is absolutely harrowing

with it being a layered city and one with Boreas' consciousness/structure, some wonder when does one truly leaves the borders of the city and enters the giant's actual insides. it's hard to tell, with old models of Iterators not being all that enclosed and isolated like Five Pebbles is. there is no karma gate to tell you when exactly the walls turn from homes for people to homes for wires, tubes and alien-like organic life of a colossal Hivemind

despite the whole "Iterators are above the cloud level" thing, i like to imagine that it rains in Desaevio either way. at least- some levels are just straight up Wet like after rain. but it'd be those normal rains like we have, not the annihilating ones that the old towns need to bear with down below. or maybe it's just the upper layers' waste water seeping through the ceilings

most of light of the lower levels comes from streetlights, neon signs and Boreas' own systems once deep enough

cameras and such security systems litter all the streets and every public room- and the private homes are still accessable by overseers- and All of that feeds directly into Boreas' memory cache

this omnipresence is why Boreas later suffers with the fuckin

nobody is as unhappy with Boreas' omnipresence as Boreas himself. no wonder he's always ticked off, imagine being a witness to All of New York's road rage 24/7

#Spot says stuff #rw #oc tag #oc: boreas' blessing #desaevio is very. Factory-core. idk how else to explain it it all feels vaguely like a giant factory #for someone like sparrows its Hell. its almost like the place forgot that religion is supposed to come with certain Cleanness #the motherFUCKERS made a LOWER CLASS FOR THE HIGHER CLASS WHAT KINDA FECKIN DEPTH DOES THE DISCRIMINATION GO TO!!!!#you have city like Ales that is all white and gold and dedicated to birds and the divinity- sunlight is Always present everywhere #and then theres Desaevio. our beautiful capital city that we love built on top of our biggest pride and joy Boreas' Blessing that we Also-#-super loving towards -casually administers paralyzation venom of lower circles into his puppet when he misbehaves at a wrong time-#gotta LOVE it there #the lower levels or whatever throw a rebellion against the omnipresence thing n hes like “-side eyes- yes actually listen to those there”

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fbfh · 2 years ago

Text

rocks at your window pt. 9 - ricky bowen x reader

disclaimer: this series contains smut and chapter by chapter warnings, so as with all nsfw works, ricky is aged up to 18+!! ricky and reader are 18 and in their senior year

additionally, we're working towards a ricky x therapy plot so he's going to start expressing some symptoms of mental illness and bpd but he does get therapy eventually and has a good support system but he gets worse before he gets better yk. Obviously I'm not a professional and this is for entertainment so while I have done my research pls take this with a grain of salt!! or several!! /lh

!! contains some spoilers for season 1 of hsmtmts, and previous chapters of this fic !!

wc: 9.6k

genre: angst, hurt/comfort, not really fluff but a lot of high highs and a lot of low lows

pairing: ricky bowen x (afab she/her) reader

warnings: miss jenn is a legend icon queen slay goddess (cited two times), iconic interactions between the cast, jealous ricky being a cutie, ricky and EJ are not bros yet, nini has gone from messy to borderline evil, your mom is a legend, kourtney anxiety foreshadowing, opening night/theatre vibes so strong it made me tear up a little /hj, lynne bowen is a horrible horrible toxic person!!!, todd jumpscare, ricky has a mental breakdown, EJ is trying his best but horribly misreads the situation, ricky is in a crisis, ricky bpd episode, art to cope :'), ricky has a good support system, reader is good in a crisis, nini is REALLY testing your patience, gina gets a well deserved moment to shine, terrible theatre etiquette, ricky gets emotionally ambushed, mike is a good dad, nini gets yelled at by reader (slay), reader yells at lynne (slay), reader gets slapped (in a dramatic way not a violent or sexy way), reader gets called a slut as an insult, ricky defends you, messy necessary screaming match (slay), things are said that cannot be unsaid :/

summary: opening night is just as magical and incredible as ricky hoped it would be, just as wonderful as you made it sound - until the worst case scenario comes to fruition. but the show must go on, right?

song recs: something about this night - finding neverland obc, twenty million people - my favorite year obc, opening up - waitress obc, twinkle in her eye - leann rimes, window seat - amelie obc, this is how I disappear (instrumental) - my chemical romance, un organo suona - ennio morricone, the music and the mirror - a chorus line obc, holding onto you - twenty one pilots, you oughta know - jagged little pill obc

other media: "art is not a luxury, it's sustinance" - ethan hawke ted talk clip, "and the way he sings sends a chill right through me" - lullaby for the taken lyric by kimya dawson, "what a mother does for you out of obligation vs what a mother does for you because she wants to" - text post/poem by tumblr user vympr,

a/n: fangz to cici for reading!!! I felt like my immortal chapter 6 "paragraph" 4 while writing the last part trying not to under or overuse dialog tags lmao. remember when I said it's gonna get messy? it gets worse :)

tags @yesv01 @hopefullhearts @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @afidiofobia @aliyahsutherland @pikzel @demirunner @brinaslittlefreak @girlfriendwhoseawitch @matiere-detoiles @ifilwtmfc @uselesssapphickitten @nxstalgicnxbxdy @ggclarissa @n-slayaaaaa @stormi-ames @rainforest-daisies @sunshineangel-reads

You and Ricky had been planning to get to the El Rey early on opening night since tech week, to make sure you have plenty of extra time to get ready, warm up, and get in character. Plus, you’ve been telling him how much you’ve missed just being in theaters, and near stages. The more time you’re there, the better. When you’re on the way over Ricky couldn’t shake the excitement gripping him. You can’t seem shake the feeling something was going to go wrong.

It was different from nerves, different from anxiety or worries that everyone can get before a big event. It was the same small, nudging feeling you got the night the basement flooded during your run in Matilda. It’s not as bad as it had been that time, but you take in a breath, steadying yourself and knowing you should be ready for anything. When you do, the feeling is quickly overshadowed by your excitement. You haven’t acted in far too long, and you’re ecstatic that you’ll get to perform again soon.

Once you get to the theater, you and Ricky are the first to sign the sign in sheet. You draw a little smiley face next to his name, and when he glances back at you, eyes falling on the paper. He smiles, struck by sudden joy at the little face. He leans back over and grabs a pen, drawing a smiley next to your name on the line below. Miss Jenn glances down when he returns the pen.

“Oh!” she exclaims, seeing the little faces, “How cute. I love this energy we’re creating.” she gestures vaguely before shooing you off to your respective dressing rooms to get ready.

Soon everyone’s there, and you’re once again wrapped up in the familiar hustle and bustle of show nights. You and your castmates are simultaneously getting in costume, warming up, and trying to get ready while helping each other’s hair and makeup. Ashlyn and Nini join you in an impromptu karaoke session, singing your hearts out to Bop to the Top while Nina riffs and harmonizes. The boys, one or two rooms away, start singing Getcha Head in the Game at the same time. In spite of the chaotic cacophony of voices, it's both a good way to warm up, and a good outlet for the nervous energy growing, bouncing from one person to the next, turning electric.

Kourney enters suddenly, grabbing some bobby pins.

"Do you know if you have any safety pins?" She asks.

"Uh," you pause doing your hair, tying it up into a bouncy low half updo, and fumble through your bag, "how many do you need?"

"Two or three?" She says hopefully. No matter how many you buy, bobby pins and safety pins always seem to be in short supply at every theater you've been to. You dig around for a minute before finding them, handing them to Kourtney.

"Thank you!" She declares, "Seb's shirt just completely-"

"Has anyone seen my glasses?" Ashlyn asks, and Kourtney pauses, noticing she's not wearing them.

"Shit," Kourtney mutters, both of you looking around for them.

"Knock knock!" Comes Seb’s voice from behind the door.

"Decent!" You and Ashlyn reply in unison. Seb enters, holding the side of his shirt together with his hands.

"Any luck?" He asks Kourtney.

"Right here," she replies, holding up the safety pins. "Turn around." Nina puts in her headphones and starts doing some vocal exercises and scales to warm up a little more. Seb lifts up his jacket so Kourtney can pin the ripped seam back together.

"Oh," she remembers, "have you seen Ashlyn’s glasses?"

"The really big ones?" He asks.

"Yeah."

"Nope." He shrugs. She turns to Ashlyn.

"We'll find them." Kourtney reassures her. Seb heads back to his dressing room he shares with Ricky and EJ, and you move on to the last few steps of your makeup routine.

"Where are they?" Ashlyn huffs rhetorically. Natalie pokes her head in a moment later.

"40 minutes till show time!"

"Thank you 40!" The three of you reply together. A little while later, you’re finally dressed and waiting for the glue on your eyelashes to get tacky, when you hear EJ call your name. You stumble out of your dressing room, zipping up your boot, and you’re greeted with EJ in his Chad costume, clearly in a huff.

“Can you help me with my eyeliner?” he asks, a slightly petulant tone to his voice, handing you a black pencil. You laugh.

“Yeah, hold on.” you go back into your dressing room, passing by Seb telling Kourtney something. You dig through your makeup bag as Seb reenters, Darbus glasses in hand, presenting them to Ashlyn.

"Where were they?" She exclaims.

"The prop table!" He says.

"Why?" Ash asks, stating your thoughts exactly.

"Natalie says they're technically a prop because in the detention scene when you…" you find what you're looking for, missing the tail end of his sentence as you leave a moment later with a stiff angled brush in hand. You grab EJ and lead him to the stairs where he can sit down. He does so, and you rub the bristles against the eyeliner, demonstrating for him.

“This will make the application a lot more precise. Close your eyes…” you instruct, tilting his head back. You smudge the outside of his lash lines, careful not to make it look like too much.

“Okay, now this is the scary part…” you trail off, gently lifting up his eyelid. “I swear I’m not going to stab you, just look down and don’t blink.” you instruct at the worried look on his face. You tight line the middle of his lash line for a defined, natural effect, then repeat the step on the other side.

“Okay,” you say, pulling away to check that it looks even, unaware of Ricky standing a few feet away, watching you hold EJ’s face. You look so focused, and a twinge of jealousy flashes through his stomach, wishing you were holding his face, looking focused at him like that.

“You should be good,” you say, and Ricky approaches, dragging you away as EJ thanks you.

“I just need to borrow her for a second.” he cuts EJ off, smiling tensely at him - one he returns. Ricky takes you a few feet away while EJ goes back into their dressing room.

“What’s up?” you ask. He lets out a breathy laugh.

“I just… I can’t figure out this whole bronzer thing.” You bite back a smile. You know that it’s bullshit, specifically because you went through his whole stage makeup routine with him twice last night. He could do his makeup and anyone else’s with one hand tied behind his back, so he obviously just wants your attention. You can’t deny that it’s really cute - and it’s working. He’s probably nervous, you figure. You chuckle, taking the brush from him.

“Make a fish face,” you instruct, sucking in your cheeks and puckering your lips. His face mirrors yours, and you blend the product into his foundation. Your hand rests on his jaw, angling it this way and that until you’re satisfied with your work. He glances briefly back at the stairs, where EJ has long since left. Ricky’s about to look for any other excuse to keep you here for a few more minutes, your eyes light up, remembering something.

“Oh!” you exclaim, turning around, “Stay right here.” You’re back a moment later after digging through your bag past bobby pins, safety pins, your water bottle, script, sewing kit, extra makeup, makeup wipes, bandaids, and throat lozenges. You grab a small box, holding it triumphantly before running back out to Ricky in the hall. You stand in front of him, that glimmer in your eye.

“I have a surprise.” Excitement swirls in his chest.

“What is it?” he asks, trying to suppress the anticipatory giggle bubbling up, his energy matching yours. You hand him the small box, and he looks at it, confused. He opens it slowly, pulling out a little charm. It’s a dog tag with the number 14, and a metallic T on a jump ring.

“Oh my god…” he breathes, looking at it closer. You’re beaming, so glad that he likes it.

“You know,” you say softly, “something to remember your first show by. And your heart ring was looking kind of lonely.” You smile, pointing to the plastic ring he still wears around his neck, waiting until the last possible minute to take it off. You barely get the words out before he grabs your arms, pulling you close and kissing you. His lips are warm as they move against yours, and for a split second, you forget where you are, completely losing context for everything around you.

“I love-” he murmurs against your mouth, freezing for an instant. Your hearts skip a beat in tandem, then he cuts himself off to kiss you again. “I love it.” he finishes. You smile against his lips, pulling away very reluctantly. He leans back in, pressing a few more kisses to your lips before you wiggle out of his grasp.

“Ricky!” you laugh, “We’re gonna mess up our makeup. We can kiss after the show.” He runs his fingers up and down your arms, gazing at you as you talk. You have all his attention.

“Okay,” he says in that light hearted, joking tone of his that always makes you laugh, “but I’m gonna hold you to that.” You laugh again, and he takes off his necklace so you can slip on the new charm. After getting it fixed on the chain, you reattach it to his neck.

At the end of the hall where you’re standing, Nina lingers, watching Ricky touch you and kiss you like that. It makes her sick, and she finds herself holding back a gag. Her hours of research had turned into days, and she has your playbill.com page open on her phone at this very moment. She’s torn, reminiscing over how much she loved your performances and how obsessed with you she was as a kid, and simultaneously fuming over it. You’ve done all this professional work, you’ve acted on Broadway, and now you’re here at East High?

She scoffs, shaking her head in disbelief. She wanted so badly to be you, to have your perfect life, and you threw it all away for what? To come do crappy high school theatre in a town that couldn’t be further from New York? She fights a laugh suddenly, realizing just how much dirt she has on you. There must be a reason you’ve been keeping this secret, lying to everyone, lying to Ricky. She shakes her head. She doesn’t know why yet, but she’s going to find out.

35 minutes before curtain, Miss Jenn gathers everyone for circle time, and a cast meeting to boost morale before the show. Everyone is finally in costume and Kourtney follows Seb, makeup pallet in hand, adjusting the finishing touches to the glitter on his cheeks. You can feel the energy stirring and growing, electric between all of you.

“Most of you know that our dazzling Taylor had to leave under family circumstances. Gina sends her love and support, but has left for the east coast and will not be able to make it to tonight’s performance.” Miss Jenn says. You and Ricky share a look, trying not to be too obvious. You got Gina a plane ticket together, and your mom is at the airport right now to pick her up. The last you heard from her, Gina’s flight was delayed. Now there’s only a slim chance she’ll get here in time. You silently keep your fingers crossed, praying to whatever theatre gods are out there that she’ll make it to the theater before it's too late.

“And so,” Miss Jenn continues, “I have asked… Kourtney to fill in, in her place!”

The room erupts into cheers. Kourtney smiles, eyes on the floor bashfully. She’s praying she doesn’t seem as nervous as she feels. It’s not that she didn’t expect you guys to be supportive of her subbing in as Taylor, but seeing first hand how excited everyone is for her eases some of the worries that have been building up.

“Now,” Miss Jenn continues, “everyone join hands.” After some heartfelt words of encouragement and other usual circle time warm ups, she claps her hands.

“Let’s go, wildcats! 20 minutes to curtain!”

Once again, the room erupts into cheers.

“Now, if I can get my main characters and my ensemble members starting the show with a mic on stage for mic check?” she directs, pointing towards the way to the wings. You walk with everyone else towards the stage, pausing when you pass Miss Jenn.

“Do you want me to help Kourtney get ready?” you ask. Her hair and makeup are done, she just has to get in costume, but you can sense that she needs a pep talk.

“That would be fantastic,” she says with a look that indicates she thinks Kourtney could use a pep talk too, “thank you, Sharpay.” She pulls out her walkie to let Big Red know you and Kourtney are going to be released from mic check early to finish getting ready. After singing We’re All In This Together while Big Red adjusts your volume from the sound booth, Kourtney sings Bop to the Top, voice getting louder and quieter as Red tweaks the settings. Once you’ve both gotten the thumbs up, you scurry backstage to your dressing room, handing her costume pieces while she gets changed.

“Oh, wait,” you say before she pulls on her top. You grab your setting spray you use for shows from your bag. “Close your eyes.” You mist her face with the product, fanning it dry so it doesn’t smudge.

“Thanks,” she says. You take one look at her expression, and can tell she’s nervous.

“You okay?” You ask. She hesitates, then sighs.

“I had two weeks to learn all my lines. I had two weeks to learn all the lines and the songs, I haven’t even gotten to rehearse on stage with you guys, and I’m just so worried I’m going to blow it, or choke in front of everyone…” she trails off. This is clearly the tip of the iceberg, and she fiddles with her bracelets, trying to get out some nervous energy.

“There is no way you’re going to choke.” you say confidently, “You know this show inside and out! Plus, haven’t you been running lines with Nini the whole time?” you ask.

“Yeah,” she replies, listening carefully, trying to grab onto your reassurance.

“Almost all of Taylor’s scenes are with Gabriella.” You state. Her expression changes as she realizes you’re right. She knows this part better than she was giving herself credit for.

“Plus there will be scripts in the wings if you need to refresh between scenes.”

“Yeah,” she says again, more confident this time. “I know my lines, I know the songs, I know the dances - mostly, at least - so it’s all going to be fine! Even if the choreography in Stick to the Status Quo is still totally terrifying, and I have no idea how to dance with a lunch tray or do a death wack, it’s going to be fine!” Her laughter turned from relieved to slightly panicked again.

“You think you’re nervous for Stick to the Status Quo?” you ask rhetorically, a comedic note to your voice, “I have to get caked in the face!” You exclaim with a chuckle. You’ve only practiced with an actual cake once, during the last tech rehearsal, and it was messy, to say the least. Literally and figuratively.

Kourtney laughs, remembering the whipped cream that got everywhere, how loud you were yelling in character before storming off. It took more makeup wipes than you'd expected to get the sticky sugar off your face.

“We’ll get through it together.” You state, holding out your hand. She squeezes it, reassuringly.

“Yeah. We will.”

“Five minutes to places!” Natalie calls, poking her head in.

“Thank you five!” you both reply. You check your phone one last time, the new text from your mom stating that she’s still at the airport, waiting for Gina’s flight. You text Ricky the same thing, letting him know you’re all still waiting for more updates on the delay. The good news is that your mom’s friend from work - who was planning on coming to see the show anyway - is going to stream the show to your mom until she can get there, that way she won’t miss anything.

It doesn’t feel like five minutes has gone by when Natalie is calling for places, ushering everybody into the wings and into their starting places and positions. Hushed whispers of encouragement and break a leg spread through the wings, and everyone falls silent as Miss Jenn begins her curtain speech. It’s unusual for a group of such high energy people to be so still, so quiet, and you soak up every moment of it. This is your favorite part - or one of them, at least; it's those few fleeting minutes when everyone’s backstage in the wings, the opening of the show is seconds away and hurdling closer and closer with every breath, every heartbeat. This is one of those magical, transformative, fleeting times that can only really be described as in between.

You never knew just how much you would miss this, the distinct and irreplaceable energy, the feeling of being in a theater. Tears spring to your eyes as it really hits you that you’re home, back where you’ve always needed to be. You close your eyes, taking deep, measured breaths to focus, to get into that headspace of being in character. Even with your eyes closed, you can feel it around you; the rich wood and cement mixing into different sections of the floor, the heavy curtains, the grid and catwalk and lights, all intangibly high and far away. It’s beautiful. It’s so beautiful that you don’t know how your body is supposed to contain it. You know now that you could never leave, not really. Theatre will always be your home, and you know this feeling will only solidify more and more with time. You realize, too, that it’s a home that will always grow and change and evolve with you, because that’s in its eternal, fleeting nature. That’s the most beautiful part, you think.

You squeeze Seb’s hand in excitement and encouragement and every other good thing, a gesture that he returns. In spite of the silence and the stillness, you know that everyone is just as excited as you are. Ricky’s in the opposite wing, or else you’d be squeezing his hand right now too right now. You use this moment, this stillness that's growing and getting more charged with energy every second, to become laser focused on giving this performance everything you've got - on really getting your head in the game.

Nini looks around, then over at Ricky - again. He’s been avoiding her this whole night, and she can’t stand it. She leans closer.

“I need to talk to you. After the show.” someone shushes her, and she lowers her voice, continuing. “She’s been lying to you about everything. You don’t know everything about her, Ricky.”

“Yes, I-” he cuts himself off, not wanting to feed into this. Not now. “I have to get into character.” He says, moving away from her. He tries to focus on the energy the cast is creating around him, on becoming Troy. He takes a breath, centering himself.

“Without further ado, I am proud to present… East High’s High School Musical: the Musical!” Miss Jenn’s voice is drowned out by applause, and the music begins.

The first few songs and scenes go smoothly; everyone is on time and remembering their cues, and the audience couldn’t be more engaged, applauding and laughing right when you want them to. During Jack Scott’s announcements after Darbus reveals what the winter musical is going to be, you leave to get ready for What I’ve Been Looking For. You pass by Ricky, who’s quick changing for Get’cha Head in the Game, and shoot him a big thumbs up.

“Great job!” you whisper enthusiastically, stomping your feet quietly in excitement.

“Thanks,” he smiles, beaming as he pulls on his jersey. He watches you scurry down the hall before getting nudged toward the stage right before his cue. He shakes his head, wondering why he let Nini get him so worked up before. Of course he knows you. He knows everything about you! There’s absolutely nothing on earth you could tell him that would throw him off, or scare him away from you. She’s probably just making something up to get in his head, to drive a wedge between you. That seems like something she would do lately.

“Let’s see some hustle! Move, move, move!” Coach Bolton calls from onstage, and Ricky jogs over to him, as ready as he'll ever be.

“Sorry I’m late, coach.��

As much as he doesn’t want to admit it, as much as he’s trying to stay in character and stay focused on the scene, Nini’s words are still echoing in the back of his mind, throwing him off a little. He catches his dad’s eye in the crowd as the music starts. He doesn’t think he’s ever looked this proud, and it steadies Ricky. He takes in a breath, and begins to sing. Part way through the song, he notices a woman in the crowd who looks weirdly like his mom. He doesn’t miss a beat, making sure to look in his dad’s direction instead. That’s weird, he thinks, but it can’t be her. There’s no way she’d come all the way from Chicago for something like this. Just like what Nini said to him before the show, he won’t let that distract him from performing, and tries not to let that throw him off.

During the dance break, he gets hooked up to his harness, and his stomach erupts into excited butterflies as he slowly moves up. There’s a collective gasp from the crowd that turns into cheers as he hovers in front of the hoop, ball in hand. Up here, he’s not blinded by the stage lights, and he looks down at the crowd, able to see his dad’s face even better than before. He’s filled with such euphoria, he knows you’re right - nothing can beat this feeling. He feels more alive, more awake than he ever has, simultaneously enveloped by a deep sense of peace, of rightness that he doesn’t want to let go of.

On the other side of the auditorium, someone moves, catching his eye. Some guy is making his way into his seat, presumably because he showed up late. He leans over to his date, kissing her and touching her leg. Nothing could have prepared Ricky for what he saw when he pulled away. Past the blinding stage lights, his stomach plummets back down to earth as he’s able to make out more faces in the audience - including hers. She’s here. She’s really here, and she brought that douchebag with her. She’s whispering something in that bastard’s ear, barely five rows away from his dad. They’re all over each other, talking close and kissing and smiling.

It’s only when she points up at him that he snaps out of it. He realizes the pit has been waitin for his cue a beat or two longer than usual, and follows up quickly with it. He had dropped his basketball when he was up there, and he’s scrambling to make it through the rest of the number. He tries desperately to get back into character, to focus on the lyrics and choreography, to focus on the music instead of what he just saw in front of him, but he can’t shake what just happened, what he just saw. Even as he’s being pulled backstage to change into the costume for his next scene, it takes all his effort not to let that overwhelm him. He can’t crumble right now, not like this. There’s a whole cast and crew, all his friends, that are counting on him. He gets some water, tries to pull himself together.

EJ looks for Ricky backstage, having a few minutes before their next scene. Even he has to admit he was impressed with Ricky’s performance back there. He looked so conflicted, so torn between basketball and singing. He even managed to make his distracted blocking and choreography look so organic EJ was worried he’d messed up for a second. He’s been giving him a hard time, butting heads on and off stage, but Ricky is really shining tonight. He’s committed, and EJ has to commend him for that.

“Ricky,” he says, just loudly enough to get his attention. Ricky turns around. “I have to hand it to you; you’re doing great out there, man. You deserve all the applause you’re getting.”

Ricky takes a breath, closing his water bottle.

“Thanks.”

He stares into space to the ceiling on EJ’s right, gripping his water bottle until his knuckles have a white cast to them. EJ’s brow furrows. He actually seems a little out of it.

“Are you okay?” he asks carefully. They’re not really close like that, but even EJ can see that he seems a little off.

“I’m fine,” he says a little too fast. “I am totally fine. Because it’s opening night, and nothing’s going to ruin this.”

Suddenly it makes sense. He knows exactly what Ricky’s going through. He sighs.

“Look, everybody gets stage fright. Just take a deep breath, and use the music and your lines to stay grounded.” He claps Ricky on the shoulder supportively.

“Thanks,” he chokes out again. EJ leaves to fix his mic tape, and Ricky is once again exactly where he doesn’t want to be - alone with his thoughts. Even though EJ has no idea of the scope of issues Ricky’s dealing with right now, his advice might still work. Instead of waiting in his dressing room, he hovers in the wings, going over the chemistry class scene as it happens, waiting for the lights to go down so he can talk to you, or at least be near you. He’s so tempted to barge onstage and drag you away with him. Instead he listens closely to your dialog with Gabriella. Just hearing your voice is enough for him to hold on to for now.

The lights go down, and you exit into the wings. You’re surprised to find Ricky there - he usually comes up about half way through Jack Scott’s narration. One look at his face and you know something’s wrong. Before you can ask, he’s pulling you into a less busy area by the prop table.

“She’s here.” He grips your arm, hand shaking. He doesn’t need to say anything else, you already have a full grasp on the gravity of the situation, the effect this is having on him.

“Here?” you ask, needing to clarify, and he nods. “Are you okay?” you ask sincerely.

“I’m…” he struggles for an answer, “trying to be.” You take his hands in yours so gently he doesn’t even notice until your thumbs are stroking his skin reassuringly.

“Okay,” you say calmly, and he can see the gears turning, see you figuring out the perfect solution as you speak. “Why don’t you have some water, stay right here, and I’ll go get Miss Jenn, okay?”

He nods, and you move quickly to Natalie, asking her if she knows where Miss Jenn is. She picks up her walkie talkie, asking Miss Jenn to come to the stage right wing. Jack’s narration scene wraps up and the crew changes the set to Darbus’s detention. You have seconds before you have to get out there, and you turn to Ricky, worried about him.

“Are you going to be okay?” you ask in a hushed whisper.

“Yeah.” he says, “I think so.”

You see Miss Jenn walking toward the stage right wing as you’re about to head onstage.

“We’ll talk to her right after.” you tell him in a hushed, reassuring whisper. You give his hand one more squeeze before you find your places in the dark. Moments later, the lights are up, and the scene begins. In all the time you’ve spent acting, you’ve gotten very good at staying in character, compartmentalizing thoughts and worries about your personal life while you’re onstage. You find it a little more difficult to keep the disgust at Lynne Bowen’s blatant lack of basic respect, or even awareness for the consequences of her actions, buried in the back of your mind as the scene plays out.

Sitting on the wooden flooring of the stage, warm under the bright lights, Ricky does exactly what he’s supposed to do - he uses the scene and dialog to stay grounded. He follows the dialog while doing his stage business, listening for his cues just like Miss Jenn thought him to do. If he stays in character, he doesn’t have to think about any offstage drama. As long as he doesn’t look out to that section of seats, as long as he can keep his eyes from being magnetically drawn there, he’s going to be fine. He stays in character, stays right there as Troy, clinging to his character like a life raft. If he can be Troy, he doesn’t have to worry about everything he’s going to have to deal with as Ricky for just a few more minutes. It's desperate and fleeting, but it's the only thing he can do right now.

Soon, the lights are down, and you’re hustling toward the stage right wing, where you know Miss Jenn is waiting. He finds your hand in the dark, the sparkly pink sequins on your outfit unmistakable even in the darkness. He holds onto you desperately, until you’re both standing in front of Miss Jenn. She knows from one look that whatever is going on, it’s bad.

“Um," Ricky starts, swallowing hard, "my mom is here…” he hates that his voice is already trembling so soon. It sounds more like a question than a statement, and his stomach twists at how foreign the word now feels in his mouth. My mom. The last time he called her that had been months ago when he told you and Miss Jenn what had happened. Ever since he’s only referred to her through pronouns and as briefly as possible, trying to disconnect the person she is from who she was supposed to be. Who he thought she was. The closest he’s gotten to addressing her has been vague statements; she didn’t call back, or I think that was her recipe, let’s find a different one. Actually saying it, actually calling her that makes his jaw feel stiff.

“My god.” Miss Jenn says softly, unable to believe that she could have the audacity to show up unannounced after what she put Ricky through. Ricky hesitates, and she knows there’s more. She nods, waiting for him to continue.

“And she, uh,” he swallows thickly, hating his throat for tightening up so much when he has to sing in a few minutes, “she brought her boyfriend…” Your eyes widen and Miss Jenn gasps.

“They’re in the sixth row, they keep talking and kissing, and-” he cuts himself off, unable to continue. His hands are balled up, tight and shaking.

“Okay. Ricky, sweetie, why don’t we talk about this somewhere a little more private.” You both guide him to the boys’ dressing room, and after making sure no one’s in there, she sits down facing him, and takes his hands in hers.

“From the beginning, what happened?”

He was barely able to get it out the first time, but now he can’t stop. Everything he’s been trying so hard to ignore and shove down for the last 20 minutes - and it’s felt way longer than 20 minutes - comes tumbling out. He doesn't think he could stop talking if he tried. He doesn’t even realize how loud he’s getting until Miss Jenn gently shushes him.

“We don’t want the audience to hear us.” he nods, taking a breath for the first time since he started talking. You left a minute ago to check on how much time you have before the next scene, and reenter the dressing room now, looking stressed.

“They’re almost done with Auditions.” you state. You need to go up there now, you and Seb have What I’ve Been Looking For soon, and you don’t want to miss your cue.

“Go,” she says. Ricky nods, so you do, knowing that Miss Jenn has this under control, that she can help Ricky right now. Your footsteps recede, and Ricky turns back to Miss Jenn.

“Ricky,” she starts calmly, “what she did was wildly inappropriate.” He already feels a little better, less crazy, and he waits for her to continue.

“Showing up unannounced with a…" she chooses her words carefully, "date, was… probably the worst thing that could have happened tonight.”

“Yeah,” he scoffs in agreement. She continues.

“You have every right to be as upset as you are. Whatever you need right now, just tell me, okay?” He nods. “I think what we should do is get your dad, and let him know what’s going on. I can try to have one of the ushers escort her out, but I’m sure the last thing you want tonight is even more drama.”

“Got that right,” he breathes, relieved.

“I’m going to talk to EJ and see if he can go on as Troy-”

“What? No.” he protests.

“Ricky-”

“No, Miss Jenn- I have to play Troy. Please, I have to!”

“It might be best for you-”

He stands up suddenly. “What’s best for me is going out there; acting and singing, like we rehearsed - like I’m supposed to! Please, you can’t…”

“Okay,” she says, standing up and trying to calm him down a little. “Okay. If you think you can do it, you can go back out there.”

He relaxes a little.

“Thank you.” his voice breaks as he speaks, and she realizes how badly he needs this right now.

“Why don’t we revisit this at intermission, see how you’re feeling then? Just to check up on you.” she adds quickly.

“Okay.” he agrees. She puts a hand on his arm.

“I’m going to let EJ know to get ready, just in case you change your mind. We’ve got to be ready for anything, right?” She smiles gently, one he tries to return.

“Right,” he says. A stagehand pokes his head into the room.

“Troy, we need you.”

“Be right there,” Miss Jenn says. She claps her hand over Ricky’s one more time. “Okay, Ricky, here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to go out there and sing a ballad with Gabriella that will make the audience swoon,” he smiles, “and I am going to do my best to get this situation resolved as quickly and discreetly as possible. If anything else happens, or you need anything, come tell me right away.”

“Okay.” he says, this time, with a note of determination in his voice. Miss Jenn pats him on the back, sending him off. He runs through the halls, making it just in time. Once he’s in the wings, she pulls out her phone to text Mike, and fill him in on everything that’s going on. He enters on Gabriella’s cue, and Miss Jenn pauses, watching him deliver his lines. All the distress, all the pain melts away as he steps into character.

It’s giving him a break from everything, she thinks, it has been the whole time. Theatre isn’t just a luxury or a passion for some people, it’s a means of survival. It hits her all at once, that in staying here, in facing the challenges and struggles that came from directing this show, she’s helping Ricky through one of the hardest things he’ll ever go through. She’s become the person she needed when she was his age; with only one parent, feeling completely lost at sea. Her chest squeezes, and she watches them sing, their voices sending a chill through her.

Backstage, in the few dark moments of the set change for Cellular Fusion, Nina somehow manages to corner you.

“What did you do to him?” she demands, and you know she’s referring to Ricky, who exited to the other wing. You stare at her, aghast. You lean in close, lowering your voice, desperately holding on to your professionalism.

“We have to go onstage, literally right now. I am not doing this with you right now.”

“Huh,” she scoffs with a fake smile, “you’re one to talk.” You have approximately two seconds to look at her, baffled by everything she’s saying, before you have to go on. You enter, and hit your mark. At the cue, you and Seb begin to harmonize. Right as you do, your phone - tucked away in the wings - silently begins to buzz. Your phone lights up with a text from your mom, informing you that Gina’s flight has finally landed, and they’ll be at the theater any minute.

You run off stage as Cellular Fusion wraps up, and Miss Jenn and Carlos are trying to figure out what to do about the Taylor dance break coming up. Kourtney has been doing great so far, but she doesn’t think she can handle choreography that complicated with so little time to rehearse.

“I could tell the pit to cut that section…” Carlos offers. You check your phone and your eyes light up, looking at the doorway.

“Uh,” you start with a smile, “I don’t think that will be an issue…”

Miss Jenn, Carlos, and Kourtney look over at Gina, smiling timidly.

“Oh, thank god,” Miss Jenn chokes out. She turns to Kourtney, then Gina. “You, go out there before you miss your cue. And you, quick change into something more 2006 before the dance break.”

They both agree, and a stagehand runs over with something for Gina to change into, guiding her to the dressing rooms.

“Is he doing any better?” you ask Miss Jenn before you go on. You don’t have much time, but you need to know if he’s okay.

“A little,” she says, “I think.” You both know it’s better than nothing, and you’re just hoping whatever he’s doing keeps working.

Stick to the Status Quo couldn’t be going any better. There’s so much happening, so much organized chaos, that he forgets about everything for a few wonderful minutes. There’s no time to think about that when he’s dancing on tables, begging his classmates not to sacrifice their individuality so they can fit in. It only gets better when you and Seb enter toward the end of the number. You look so genuinely pissed off that people are breaking free from the boxes they’ve been put in, and your voices sound perfect harmonizing together, reverberating through the auditorium.

He tries in vain to stop Zeke from giving you a cake, watching with bated breath as it smashes into your face. He turns away, just like he’s supposed to, but his eyes accidentally land on the one place in the audience he shouldn't be looking at. His stomach plummets. Has she been on her phone this whole time? After running from everything this whole night, it finally gets the best of him. He can’t stand it any longer, running into the wings as you let out an ear shattering scream, loud enough to finally make her look up.

“Someone… is going… to pay for this!” you yell furiously, before the lights go down. The curtain draws to a close as applause thunders through the building. The lights in the house go up for intermission, and you hear a slow rise of chatter as people mill about and make conversation as you exit the stage. You grab a makeup wipe a stagehand has ready, thanking them as Natalie calls out that intermission is starting, and you have 20 minutes to places for act two.

“Thank you 20,” you call out distractedly, searching for Ricky. You run to the back, wiping the rest of the whipped cream off your face, and check the boys dressing room to see if he’s in there. He is, sitting in there by himself, seeming worse than before. One look at his face and you know something else happened.

“She was on her fucking phone the whole time!” he states in disbelief, “Like…” The words dry up as he holds a pillow in his lap in a death grip.

“Oh my god…” you say, shaking your head. He’s not doing good, clearly. No one would be in his position. He pulls you in for a hug as soon as you’re close enough, one you reciprocate. He holds onto you tight, feeling just a little more stable as soon as you’re in his arms. Surrounded by your familiar grasp, it’s just a little easier to breathe, to think clearly. Unfortunately, it also means he has a much clearer grasp on everything that’s happened tonight and how it’s affecting him, how he feels about it. His dad is right behind you, and he lets go of you long enough to stand up and greet him. His dad pulls him into a hug, patting his back.

“I’m so sorry, kid. I had no idea she was going to pull something like this.” Mike’s voice wavers, and when Ricky doesn’t answer, you know it’s because he’s choked up. Miss Jenn enters a moment later, walking over to Ricky and Mike.

“The both of them have been removed from the premises.” She states.

“Thank you,” Mike says earnestly.

“Oh, it was nothing a little faked parking violation couldn't take care of," she says, earning a small smile from Mike. She turns to Ricky, continuing. “I filled you dad in on what’s been going on, too.”

“Maybe we should just go home,” Mike offers, knowing he probably won’t want to.

“No,” he protests, “I can do act two, I want to. Plus, if we leave now, she’ll know where we are and she’s going to ambush us again, and-”

“The one place you’re guaranteed not to run into her is here at the theater.” you finish quietly.

“Yeah,” Ricky agrees, motioning to you. Mike considers, weighing his options. Since she’s gone, if Ricky thinks he can handle it, he doesn’t see why he can’t do the second half of the show - especially since he seems to want to so badly. Maybe now isn’t the time to take that away from him, even if he means well.

“Okay,” he sighs. “But if anything happens, if you change your mind at all-”

“You’re the first to know.” Ricky agrees quickly.

“I want you to stay plugged in with me, okay?” Mike says, putting a hand on his shoulder, “Text me when you’re not onstage, let me know how you’re doing.” Ricky agrees again. Miss Jenn looks between them.

“Alright. Well, in that case, Ricky, you should get changed for act two.” She says with a tentative smile. He nods.

“Thank you. Thank you guys.” he says sincerely to his dad and Miss Jenn. Before you leave, you catch his eye.

“I’m going to refill my water, then I’ll be back here, okay?”

“Sounds good." He says, "Hurry back,” he adds quickly, giving you that sweet look with those big puppy dog eyes, and it makes your chest squeeze.

“Absolutely.” you agree.

You barely leave the dressing room before you're met with Nina. She barges forward and stands in front of you, arms crossed, and you realize she's waiting for you to move out of the way so she can get into the boys' dressing room. You don't budge.

“I need to talk to Ricky. I heard what happened, and I'm the only one who can convince him to go on for the second act, and I don’t need you-”

“Wow,” you begin, cutting her off, once again amazed at her audacity, “now is really not a good time. Don’t go in there and stir things up.”

She looks you up and down, letting out an indignant scoff.

“Don’t act like you know him like that. I’ve known him since we were in kindergarten, I know him better than anyone.”

You take in a deep breath, trying so hard to stay patient.

“Sure. You know him better than anyone.” you say, in a pacifying tone, “So you should know the last thing he needs is more pressure on him when he’s in the middle of a family crisis, right?” The question is rhetorical, and you continue, patience with her finally starting to run thin. “If you actually care about him, then for the sake of his well being you’ll leave him alone and let him get through this. Now is really not the time, Nina, read the goddamn room!”

The sentence is finished with an aggravated, humorless laugh. Your priorities right now are Ricky, and getting through opening night. You need to help him process some of the shit that's been happening tonight, make sure he’s okay, so he can perform like he wants to. The last thing he needs is Nina barging in there and telling him he’s letting the cast down, or that he’s not serious about theatre, and that he should have quit after auditions - all of which you’ve heard more times than you can count over the duration of rehearsals, even up to a few days ago.

You’ve tried so hard to be patient with her, but dear god, she’s really starting to get on your last nerve - nevermind the fact that you have a special type of hatred for the kind of people like Nina, who shit on people that are still learning about something they have more experience in; like telling someone they’re not serious about theatre because it’s their first show, for example.

“Do not fuck with him right now.” you state, rolling your eyes at her shocked expression.

You push past her, walking over to the water fountain. She watches you walk away, mouth hanging open, and lets out an indignant scoff. You swear to god, if one more thing goes wrong tonight, if one more person tries you, you’re going to absolutely lose it. You take a few deep breaths as you fill up your bottle, trying to calm down and center yourself a little. Once you’re done, you start to walk back to the dressing rooms, but you’re stopped by a woman who is definitely not cast or crew. She sees you and approaches, seeming a little pissy.

“I’m looking for Ricky Bowen?” she states. As she speaks, your stomach drops.

You recognize her voice from when you heard it on the phone, and from the voicemail Ricky showed you over Thanksgiving. This is Lynne Bowen. As in, the Lynne Bowen. The one that left. The same woman who’s made such a tactless and selfish decisions over and over that have ultimately caused her son to be on the verge of a breakdown just down the hall from where you’re standing right now.

“You are not supposed to be back here.” you state, desperately trying to figure out how to handle this. You pull out your phone and text Miss Jenn, ‘code red, really need backup’.

“Can you just tell me where Ricky Bowen is? I’m his mother.” she says it in a way immediately expects sympathy from you, sympathy she doesn’t receive. You stare at her blankly, and she continues, much less kind than she’d been pretending to be. “I need to see my son, okay? Maybe when you’re a mother someday you’ll understand-”

You’re not sure what about her, about the way she’s talking to you specifically is the last straw for you, but your patience is already running so thin it’s practically transparent. Against your better judgment, you cut her off.

“He does not want to see you. He doesn’t want to speak to you - or be anywhere near you right now, for the record - and you need to fucking respect that, okay?” you say decisively, offense written all over her face, “And you are really not allowed to be backstage if you’re not cast or crew, which you’re clearly not-”

“You are way out of line, young lady!” she yells, “I don’t care if he doesn’t want to talk. I’ll talk to him if I want to; I’m his mother.” She adjusts her purse, clearly expecting you to fold, to tell her where he is. You know you should keep your mouth shut, you know you should be diplomatic and patient and professional like you always are, you should wait for Miss Jenn to handle this, but you’ve spent the past three months watching Ricky suffer because of this woman and her choices. You can’t stay quiet when the woman who hurt him is right in front of you.

“I think you lost the right to pull that shit when you walked out the door and chose not to be in his life!” you snap, a dangerous smile on your face. The stunned look on her face is better than anything you’ve ever seen. It’s clear no one has ever tried to take her down a peg until now.

“How dare-”

“You gave him a free pass to hate you forever, because you’re not the parent who stayed! You didn’t try-”

Your words lose momentum as you find yourself suddenly looking at the wall to your right, your cheek stinging. The sound of her slapping you across the face echos across the walls for a moment before fading away, and you freeze, tears prickling the corners of your eyes from shock.

“Listen here you little slut,” she says, much more ferocious than before. All facades of a concerned mother have melted away. “You have no right to talk to me like that-”

“What the fuck?!”

You snap out of it, and she turns around at Ricky’s voice at the end of the hall.

“Ricky, my baby,” she starts, walking toward him, but she’s thrown off at how distant he seems toward her. “I’m sorry you had to see that, this girl is so-”

“Don’t ever talk about her like that again.” His voice is stone cold as he brushes past her, analyzing your expression closely to see if you’re alright.

“Are you okay?” he asks, voice shaky.

“I’m fine,” you say as calmly as possible, “are you okay?”

He’s decidedly not, but he tries to pull himself together.

“If you are, that’s all that matters.” Behind him, growing impatient, Lynne takes a step forward.

“Ricky,” she demands. He takes a breath, and leans closer to you.

“You should change for act two.” You look between them, wishing there was something else you could do, some way that you could make this better. You agree, stopping before you leave for your dressing room.

“Text me if you need anything.” you say seriously, and he agrees, understanding the subtext of your words. Text you if he needs backup, or if it gets to be too much, because you’re there for him. Lynne moves toward him again.

“Can we talk?” she says with a domineering tone to her voice, and you both know it’s not a question. You want to object, but all he wants is to get her away from you. He nods, indicating you should go, and you do - albeit, very reluctantly. He turns back to her.

“Yeah,” he says seriously, “I think we need to.”

She grabs his arm to lead him down another stretch of hallway, but he shakes her off immediately, walking a few feet in front of her.

“Ricky, are you alright?” she demands, once they’re relatively out of earshot. She crosses her arms. “I was so worried about you when you ran offstage like that.”

“I’m surprised you noticed.” he murmurs. She either ignores him or doesn’t hear. Regardless, she continues.

“Why did you leave? Is it stage fright? Because a lot of people are counting on you, honey. You made a commitment to this-”

“You’re one to talk about commitment,” he mutters, voice low, but loud enough to be heard. His impulse control is not at all where it should be, especially with how she just talked to you, what she called you.

“I’m sorry?” Lynne demands. She’s not used to Ricky yelling at her. She’s always had a lot of influence over him. He used to do everything she said, he’s always been such a mama’s boy until now.

“I mean, do you ever think about anyone besides yourself?” he snaps, “Did you even care that you ruined the only thing I’ve been able to count on in my life- I can never get this night back, Lynne. And now…” he trails off, trying so hard to regulate his emotions, even though he knows he’s out of control. He takes a shaky breath, trying with everything he has inside him to reign it back in a little.

“...Why would you bring him to the show?”

Lynne looks stunned at his question.

“Wh-” she starts, “This is about Todd?”

“Why would you bring him here?” He demands, repeating himself.

“I…” she struggles for an answer, “wanted him to meet you.” she infuses as much guilt into her words as she can. He should feel bad for the way he’s speaking to her. “I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to throw you off.”

It doesn’t work this time, and he refuses to back down, to fawn for her. He doesn’t buy it for a second.

“So you waited until I was suspended, mid air over a basketball hoop, for me to see you all… cozied up together? You didn’t think - not for one second - that might be just a little upsetting to me?!”

“Ricky-”

“And what about dad, huh? How do you think he feels watching you feel each other up right in front of him?” tears brim in the corners of his eyes as everything he’s been suppressing all night, all these weeks and months finally breaks the surface. She lets out an indignant scoff and tries to say something, but he ignores her and keeps going. It’s an avalanche now, and he couldn’t stop even if he wanted to.

“He didn’t leave the couch for a week after you left!” he roars, remembering how hard it was to see his dad like that, to have to be the one to drag him out of it.

“...I didn’t know that-”

“How could you?!” he laughs bitterly, "You weren't there!" He screams. He doesn't think it's ever felt better to say something than it does now. "You weren't there the whole time I was rehearsing, you weren't the one running lines and going over blocking, and teaching me how to listen for cues and do stage makeup and quick change! You weren't there for any of the work that went into this, and you just waltz in here with the newest guy you're screwing to your fucking son's musical like you've been here the whole time, but you havent!" He's never yelled at her like this, but a part of him thinks after how much she hurt him - and his dad - it's long overdue. "You don't get to enjoy this show, and you don't get to be around me, or dad, or anything we do because you walked out!"

"You are way out of line-" she starts, voice cracking.

"No, you know what’s way out of line?" He demands, all too ready to throw her words back in her face. "Breaking my heart, breaking dad’s heart, then acting like everything is fine when it’s not!"

"You think I wanted to leave you?!" She screams back at him.

"Yeah," he answers quickly, "I do, because you did! And you know what? I'm glad you left." He spits, watching the pain grow in her eyes, his words like venom.

"All you do is hurt us."

She blinks like she was just slapped. He takes a step forward, shaking, angry tears silently spilling from his eyes. When he speaks, his voice is low and dead serious.

"Don't call me anymore."

Before she can say anything, he starts to walk away. She calls out to him, desperate to get the last word in, to make him know how much pain his words have caused her.

"You are really hurting me, Ricky." She says, voice shaking as she cries, "you're breaking your mother's heart."

The sound of his mother crying like that because of something he said should have wrecked him, but he pushes away any last remaining scraps of guilt his rage hasn't burned away yet. He turns back to her, no love in his eyes, and laughs bitterly.

"Yeah, I guess it runs in the family. You know, the one thing I got from you is the ability to ruin any relationship I have, so thanks for that, mom." He spits, turning to leave. She takes a step forward.

"Don’t you walk away from me-"

"Like mother like son, huh?" He barks. With that, he's gone. He doesn't stick around for any more of her manipulation or guilt tactics. He just really, really needs to see you right now.

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