#and when we also saw chris’ bathroom in that episode and it has the extra door? even more fic writer joyful screeching

[curator-on-ao3]

For the directors cut thing: I would absolutely love to hear you talk about "Facets of Belonging". I love this story soo much and I read it like a million times because it makes me so happy and warms my heart. It kind of became my head canon for pikeuna ❤️

Hello, hi, I love you! I’m extremely honored by you rereading that story, @azalealunalight, and, hoo-boy, am I happy to talk about it. ❤️

This is going to start a little down but get better.

Facets of Belonging was actually my second pass at trying to unpack Among the Lotus Eaters, an absolute garbage pile of an episode with shipper glasses off and even worse with shipper glasses on. My first try, a one-shot called The Curse of Memory, I very much wrote with my head as an attempt to make sense of at least some aspects of the garbage pile. That story got interesting comments along the lines of, “This writing is good, but I don’t like seeing Pikeuna like this.” And I didn’t either. I had tried for canon-consistency and made myself — and my characters — unhappy.

So fuck that.

Fuck that on the bathroom floor, actually.

So I wrote Facets of Belonging from my heart as a way to let love breathe the way I think it should — freely, honestly, with two people trying their best because they owe that to each other. And I had an absolute blast writing repressed Chris, Una who would have made a pass at him years earlier if she had believed he had any game whatsoever, and both of them not understanding why Batel dumped Chris (I wanted everyone to be somewhat valid there and I hope I succeeded).

It was extra fun to include all the “they were already married, your honor” details like Chris using the secret knock on Una’s door for their shared fresher, Una flawlessly reading Chris’ body language, and Chris and Una having chosen the bathroom rug together years earlier. (The first part of the story goes on and on about how comfortable and fluffy and thick the rug is because I know me and, if the story hadn’t done that, I would have spent the later parts of the story wincing as they made love on that same rug. But it’s okay because the rug is comfortable! and fluffy! and thick!)

In terms of the technical stuff, I enjoyed the shifting third person limited point of view. Having Chris and Una mentally vibing but him more brave while she’s always a step ahead and more calm as he worries — that felt right. Part of Una being a step ahead, for me, is how her consistent adjective for Chris is “exquisite,” while he thinks she’s “beyond beautiful, beyond gorgeous. Something else. Something new.” because he hasn’t gotten to “exquisite” yet … but he will.

In terms of other things that happen after the story ends — if bathroom plumbing on the Enterprise works in any way similar to bathroom plumbing in multi-family homes today, you’d better believe other crewmembers on their same plumbing line heard Una’s ecstatic screaming in the middle of the night. I like to believe Spock is among those crewmembers. Vulcan hearing and all. Gonna be quite a morning on the bridge, amirite?

Oh, and I feel like when Chris lets himself look at Una and actually consider shifting their friendship to romance, the primal attraction he feels truly put the “id” in “idiots in love,” if you will. (And him being like “whaaaa?” she called him “sweetie” was great fun.)

For me, Facets of Belonging is a Marie Kondo story — it sparked joy to write, cleaning out the mess from before. I’m absolutely pleased and honored and delighted that the story makes you happy, too, and that you asked about it. Thank you, thank you, thank you, @azalealunalight, from the bottom of my heart … and the fluffiness of Chris and Una’s bathroom rug. ❤️

Want more information about a fic I wrote? Send me an ask.

[phoebehalliwell]

This has been on my mind a lot and Islamic why because it’s random and irrelevant but Piper and Leo had 3 kids. As far as we know there’s only 3 bedrooms, so do you think Wyatt and Chris had to share a room until one moved out or??? Sorry if I sound annoying or stupid. It’s late and I have no common sense to stop me. I can be dense.

It’s late and I have no common sense to stop me. I can be dense. should literally just be like the new motto of this blog what are we if not all impulsive lil lads sending whatever charmed thots currently passing thru our brains onto tumblr dot com. but yeah okay so the way i think about it is wyatt and chris very likely shared a room throughout childhood as they just had like a pretty small age delta. like we saw i’m pretty sure in the show there was like The Nursery and both wyatt and chris lived there as babies at the same time. I think by the time that melinda had rolled around, especially considering that both paige and phoebe had fully moved out by then, wyatt and chris probably got promoted to their own individual rooms and melinda got The Nursery (because obviously there were two extra bedrooms while there was also a nursery as we saw in episodes like cheaper by the coven and imaginary fiends when there was a place there like a room And phoebe and paige still lived in the manor). so, like, if i’m to work with the logic of there are only three bedrooms, i think once melinda gets promoted to bedroom she gets her own and wyatt and chris would end up in the same room But. i mean like. the manor is so huge, right? like it’s three stories. i guess four if you count the basement (yes i’m counting the attic as a story) (also, a basement? in san francisco? which they literally like brought up in their episode with an earthquake like um?? there’s a reason u don’t put basements on the san andreas fault like i think u can maybe guess why. they’ve got it tho!!) and like. we’re pretty familiar with the floorplan of the ground floor with the foyer to sitting room to the living room to the solarium to the dining room to the kitchen with a lil bonus laundry room as well. it’s big. so i feel like we can assume there are just like more than three bedrooms? like, in season 8 we had billie staying in the manor, though that might have been in phoebe’s room. other evidence against the potential of guest bedrooms is that paige moved into prue’s old room, which i feel like you wouldn’t do unless your guest bedroom is shitty. and your guest bedroom isn’t supposed to be shitty, like it’s supposed to be the opposite but as previously established by handyman leo frequenting the house early on the joint was probably in shambles and prue piper and phoebe probably just selected the nicest three rooms and left the bad room empty. more evidence for this theory is the fact that we never heard of the girls sharing a room, meaning that, growing up, grams would have a bedroom, and each sister would have their own personal bedroom. and then like, on top of this, again, the manor is huge. and leo’s crafty. i feel like the odds of, if they didn’t have a 4th bedroom, piper and leo constructing one is like pretty high. idk. the halliwell manor is like insanely vague with its layout shout out to the bathroom that became a closet and just the entire mystery of the second floor. my heart says each kid had their own individual bedroom.

[miguel-manbemel]

Aspects & Fanfics Ep. 42: Beware the Paladin Part 2: The Downfall

Second part of the story I started two weeks ago. There’s not much I’d wish to add that I didn’t say already in the introduction of part 1, so I leave you with the story. I hope you enjoy it and until next time with part 3 of the story.

SYNOPSIS: Thomas’ sanity is completely compromised and Joan has difficulties to rein Thomas in, so they leave him with Kenny and Talyn to enter the Mind Palace and see if they can be of help in the chase of the Paladin, who is destroying room after room in the Mind Palace, further deteriorating Thomas’ condition.

WARNINGS: Depiction of a mental illness. Romantic prinxiety, dukeceit and logicality. Angst. Suicide mentions.

EPISODE INDEX

[there’s a sign reading “In the previous episode…” Then images from the previous episode are shown while Joan’s voice is heard narrating]

JOAN-NARRATOR: Something’s happening to Thomas and we still don’t know exactly what it is, but it’s affecting Roman, or maybe Roman is affecting Thomas, or maybe they both affect each other at the same time, I don’t know. The point is that Roman’s sickness caused by Thomas’ lack of hope has gone worse over time, to the point where not even the pills of hope Thomas unconsciously generates for him from the little moments of happiness he can get, work for too long. Remus, seeing how badly affected his brother was, gave him one pill too much, and that triggered Roman’s transformation into the Paladin, who after running away, beat up Logan and rendered him unconscious. Then he started wreaking havoc, destroying rooms all over the Mind Palace. Meanwhile, in the real world, Thomas started feeling the effects of the Paladin’s rampage, by losing his mind completely and entering a state of delusional euphoria. He thinks that he can only reach stardom by jumping to the stars… literally from a high branch on a tree next to his house. Thank goodness that Talyn, Kenny and I managed to convince him to come back down by playing along with his delusion and making him believe that the producers he hoped to find in the stars were actually in his apartment, waiting for him to sign the contract of his life. Now he’s here, playing video games while he waits for the producers to come out of the bathroom, or that’s what we told him. I locked the door and kept the key so he can't escape and injure himself or something worse. I hope this charade can buy the Sides enough time to take care of the Paladin and, I hope, bring Thomas’ sanity back before he gets out of control again.

[intro sequence]

[Thomas is still playing Kingdom Hearts while Joan, Talyn and Kenny watch him]

THOMAS: They’re taking a bit long, aren’t they? When are the producers gonna come out of the bathroom?

JOAN: Uh… please, be patient, Thomas. You know how badly can spicy food affect some people. You don’t want them to get mad at you because you hurried them, right?

THOMAS: [beat, pausing the game] Are you sure they’re in the bathroom at all? Are you sure they’re in this house at all?

JOAN: Of course! Why do you ask?

THOMAS: Because producers don’t use other people’s bathrooms! That’s not professional! Besides, Sokka has just told me that something’s wrong here.

JOAN: Sokka’s told you…?

THOMAS: Have you been lying to me, Joan?

JOAN: What?

THOMAS: [increasingly angry] You’ve been lying to me, admit it! You lied to me because you’re jealous of my achievement and you want to steal it away from me! F… [bleep] CK!

[Thomas furiously throws the controller aiming at the TV, but misses it, though the controller gets shattered in pieces. Then he stands up in a fit of anger. Joan, Talyn and Kenny also stand up]

THOMAS: [yelling] I thought you were by my side, that you would be happy for what I had accomplished! But you are just one of those who always get in my way, who won’t let me move forward in my dreams! But I won’t let you get away with this!

[starts running to the door. Kenny and Talyn grab him]

THOMAS: [yelling] You too!? Let me go! No one’s gonna prevent me to fulfill my dreams! No one! Let me go! I need to jump! I need to jump!

JOAN: [yelling] Thomas, sit down! Now! You can’t get out of the house, I have hidden the key and we won’t give it to you until you calm yourself! And you’ll never get to the producers in time if you don’t! [yelling as loud as their lungs allow them, their voice, on the verge of screech, even cracks] So SIT DOWN!!!

[Thomas looks at everyone with a face of anger. Then he sits down]

THOMAS: How could you betray me like this? I thought you were my friend.

JOAN: [clearing their throat as they clearly hurt it in the last yell] And I’m your friend, the best friend you could ever ask for. That’s why I need you to sit down here. You’re gonna thank me later, even if you don’t understand right now. [to Kenny and Talyn] Guys, do you think you’ll be able to handle him on your own?

KENNY: Yes, I think so, why?

JOAN: I’m going back to the Mind Palace. I wanna check how things are going in there.

THOMAS: What? No, I won’t let you in my Mind Palace! You’re not welcome there anymore! No!

KENNY: Don’t worry, we’ll take care of him.

JOAN: All right, then. Talyn, if something happens that would need my attention, you can enter the Mind Palace too. Get in to warn me, but only if there’s a crisis, okay? The Mind Palace is not a safe place with the Paladin on the loose.

TALYN: The Paladin? Who’s the Paladin?

JOAN: There’s no time now. I’ll explain later, when all of this is over, I hope soon.

TALYN: Okay, Joan. Be careful.

JOAN: I will. Well, if I want news about Roman, the best is to go to his room… Okay, I’ll be back as soon as I can.

[Joan concentrates, then sinks down. Then they rise up in Roman’s room. Chris is there on the couch]

JOAN: Hi, Chris.

CHRIS: Hi, Joan.

JOAN: Any news about Roman?

CHRIS: No, not yet. I’m so worried about my father. Any news from the outer world?

JOAN: Yes, but they’re not good. Thomas has lost his mind. He’s gone completely crazy, and of course, this thing about the Paladin must be the cause.

CHRIS: Oh, no…

JOAN: Maybe if Logan could give him some common sense, he could come back to normal. Is he still here?

CHRIS: Yes, he’s upstairs in my father’s bed. Remus is with him. But he still hasn’t woken up.

JOAN: This is an emergency… no, this is a crisis, a literal mental crisis. We need Logan to wake up so he can guide us. There has to be a way.

CHRIS: The key is in the Paladin, somehow. Before passing out Logan said he wouldn’t wake up until the Paladin was gone. The rest of the Sides, Patton, Ian, Janus and Virgil, are looking for him. But he’s fast as heck. He goes to one room, turns it into a mess and then leaves, before they can catch him. It’s like trying to catch a thunderbolt.

JOAN: And the more rooms he destroys, the more Thomas’ sanity deteriorates… Well, I hope they can catch him. Otherwise, Thomas is doomed. You didn’t mention Remus. Why doesn’t he join the chase?

CHRIS: He’s taking care of Logan. Dad didn’t want him around. He blames him for everything. He was the one who gave Remus the extra pill that started all this mess, you know? But I don’t judge him harshly for that. He only did what he thought it would be best for Roman, like we all try to do. It’s his brother and he loves him. He saw him suffering and he just wanted his suffering to end. He didn’t have any ill will. He just made a mistake, a terrible, dangerous mistake, but a mistake nonetheless.

JOAN: Mistake or not, that doesn’t matter. I do think Remus should join the chase. Among all the Sides, he’s the most prepared to deal with that Paladin, I think.

CHRIS: I agree, but I don’t know what to tell him. Remus is devastated by guilt, he’s not himself anymore. It’s like he’s losing his will to do anything at all.

JOAN: I think I’ll go check on him. I haven’t had many chances to speak to him, but maybe I can get to him.

CHRIS: If you did, I’d be very grateful. Thank you, Joan.

JOAN: I’ll go, then.

[Joan goes upstairs and enters the bedroom. There he finds Remus next to Logan, still unconscious in bed. Remus has cleaned all of Logan’s wounds the best he could and summoned brand-new glasses and necktie, so he doesn’t look as bad as before, but he’s still bruised everywhere, though the worst wounds have been covered by Remus with bandages]

REMUS: Oh, hi, Joan.

JOAN: Hello, Remus. How is Logan doing?

REMUS: See your yourself. I’m doing my best to take care of him, so he could, maybe, wake up sooner, but he still hasn’t given any sign of life. I hope he can get over this and wake up. I have many wrongdoings in my life of which I don’t feel sorry at all, but this… I wouldn’t forgive myself if Logan didn’t wake up. Or if something happened to Roman because of me. They still haven’t caught him, the Paladin I mean, right?

JOAN: No, they haven’t yet… Why don’t you go help them?

REMUS: I can’t. Virgil forbade me to do so. I think he hates me. It wouldn’t be the first time, anyway, but this time he has a valid reason and it breaks my heart.

JOAN: Still, I think you should join the chase. I understand Virgil, but this goes beyond Roman or him. Thomas’ mental health is endangered if the Paladin is not contained. He’s already lost his sanity and could hurt himself if we don’t do something.

REMUS: That too? Just what I needed. I really want to help, to fix the mistake I made, but Virgil…

JOAN: Virgil will have to understand. At this point, Thomas is more important than his feelings. If you want to fix things, chase the Paladin, catch him and put him in a safe place until the pill’s effects wear off. That’s the only way you can redeem yourself, and you would save Thomas at the same time.

REMUS: But…

JOAN: [yelling] Oh, for f… [bleep] ‘s sake, Remus! I thought you always did whatever you wanted whenever it pleased you! Are you trying to tell me that it wouldn’t please you to join the chase? Then what are you still doing here? Thomas and Roman need you! Help save them, now!

[Remus shows a face of determination]

REMUS: You’re right. They need me, I can’t let them down! But who will stay with Logan?

CHRIS: [entering the room leaning on his crotches] I will, Remus. And if it serves for something, you have my permission to save my father. My dad will understand in time, you’ll see.

JOAN: And I’ll stay with him so that he’s not alone if the Paladin shows up here. Don’t worry, Remus. Logan is in safe hands.

REMUS:  Okay. If the Paladin shows up here, summon me at once, got it?

JOAN: Got it. Now, go.

[Remus sinks down. Meanwhile, Virgil and the others are looking for the Paladin everywhere in the Mind Palace. They only find the traces of destruction he’s leaving behind]

VIRGIL: This is so wrong… This is all so wrong. I’m starting to get concerned about Thomas’ sanity at this point. This is literally his mind, and it’s getting destroyed bit by bit.

[The Paladin appears in front of them with a maniac grin]

PALADIN: As if you hadn’t done worse things than me against Thomas’ mental health, Emo Nightmare.

VIRGIL: There he is! Get him!

[The Paladin pulls out a sword with a mischievous, evil laughter. He hits the ground with the sword, with all his might and an earthquake happens that makes everyone fall down. He cackles evilly]

PALADIN: Just look at all of yourselves. You’re so pathetic. You’re a failure as Sides and don’t deserve to be called as such! Luckily for Thomas, I’m gonna fix this once and for all, by getting rid of all of you, so that no more hinders block Thomas’ way to glory! I already took care of Logan. You all are next! And I’ll start with you, Emo Nightmare!

VIRGIL: Stop calling me like that, Paladin!

PALADIN: Why? That’s who you are, or that’s what I get from Roman’s memories. That’s who you’ve always been and forever will be in Roman’s eyes. Always a hinder for Thomas’ pursue of his hopes and dreams. He’s always hated you a bit because of that, and frankly, I don’t blame him.

VIRGIL: You… You’re lying! You’re obviously lying! Roman loves me!

PALADIN: Oh, love and hate can coexist, you know? I won’t deny that you look cute as a button, that’s why he thinks he loves you, but he could never love you completely. Because every time you get into action, you place Thomas one step back from his dreams. And he can’t stand it. You’re making Roman’s life miserable in the long term, and in his mind he puts all the blame on you. Now he’s blinded by his attraction to you, but when his “love” for you wears off, and it will, don’t doubt it, he’ll hold everything you’ve done to Thomas against you, and he’ll leave you, and he’ll fight against you and everything you represent, like you used to fight when you were a Dark Side, because in the end his love for Thomas is stronger than his love for you or anyone else… I can see in your eyes that you still don’t believe me. [to Janus] Janus, you catch liars from miles away. You know very well I’m saying the truth here.

[Janus looks at the Paladin with a mixed face of anger and sadness]

VIRGIL: [smirks to Janus] He’s lying, right? [concerned when Janus doesn’t speak] Janus… Tell me he’s lying! [now yelling, scared] Tell me that Roman doesn’t feel that about me! Tell me!

[Janus looks at Virgil. A tear falls down his snake eye when he speaks]

JANUS: [trembling voice] He’s… lying…

[Virgil immediately understands that Janus is the one who’s lying now and that the Paladin is saying the truth. He shows a face of shock and despair, but he doesn’t shed a tear]

PALADIN: Oh, but don’t worry about it, emo. He won’t have time to get to that point in your relationship… [switching to a threatening cold voice] because I’m gonna make him a widower right at this moment!

[The Paladin starts approaching Virgil sword in hand while Virgil is too stunned to react. Then, Remus rises up between them]

REMUS: That’s what you think, usurper! Don’t you dare taking another step towards my brother-in-law!

[The Paladin looks at Remus with a glance of disdain]

PALADIN: Oh, look, my liberator. Did you enjoy the way I gave you my thanks, with my foot on your face and all?

REMUS: [grins, pulling out his mace] As a matter of fact, I really enjoyed it! Don’t you have any more of these in store, please? But this time don’t render me unconscious. I want to enjoy the pleasure of the pain on my face and my body! It was such a delightful way of waking up moments later!

PALADIN: If you want another dose of that, I can give it to you whenever you want!

REMUS: I’ll be glad, but I have a better idea! Why don’t we share the pain this time? I’d love to give you back some of the pleasure you’ve given to me, Paladin! And the pain that my little friend [points at his mace] can inflict is the best of the best, you’re gonna love it. [his grin suddenly disappears and is replaced by a ferocious look] There’s only room for one kinky, crazy Creativity in this Mind Palace, you know?

PALADIN: [rising his sword] Then I’ll be glad to take your place… Dooky.

[Remus and the Paladin start fighting. Right from the start, it’s clear that it’s not gonna be a fair fight. The Paladin tries all sorts of tricks against Remus, but Remus is just as a dirty fighter as the Paladin and blocks them all, using also dirty tricks of his own against the Paladin. The others watch the scene]

JANUS: Are you okay, Virge?

VIRGIL: [just looking at the fight, without looking at Janus] This looks so similar to that first fight they had in Remus’ castle. It’s clear that inside of that crazy Paladin… Roman and his fighting technique are still there, somewhere. He’s still Roman and he still needs our help. I don’t have time now to react to what has just happened, not until he’s safe.

JANUS: Okay…

[The battle goes on, until the Paladin suddenly grins malevolently. Before anyone can see through his plan, the Paladin suddenly attacks Janus with his sword and hits him heavily on the head. Janus, who didn’t see him coming, doesn’t even have time to groan and quickly falls down unconscious. Virgil watches in horrified shock, like Patton and Ian. Remus needs a couple of seconds to react over seeing Janus knocked out on the floor, while a little stream of blood falls from his crushed bowler hat]

REMUS: [suddenly screeching] JANUUUUS! YOU F… [bleep] … NG SON OF A B… [bleep] , WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?

[Remus goes into Berserk mode and starts attacking the Paladin with an increased strength. But the attacks are more chaotic and more easily avoidable. That continues for a short time until Remus makes a mistake and the Paladin overthrows him and makes him fall. Before he can stand up, the Paladin points at Remus’ throat with his sword]

PALADIN: I win this fight!

[Remus yells a war cry of pure wrath and despair]

VIRGIL: Remus!

REMUS: Do it already! You bas… [bleep] ! Do you think I’m afraid of you!? Do it if you have the guts! [screeching] DO IIIT!

PALADIN: If you insist…

[The Paladin rises his sword, ready to give Remus the coup de grace, while the others are too stunned and horrified to react. But before the Paladin can do it, something happens. He suddenly drops his sword, which vanishes after hitting the ground, and shows a face of shock, joined with a sudden feel of dizziness]

PALADIN: What is happening? No… the pill… the effect is wearing off… I need another one! No!

[The Paladin doesn’t say any more words. He just collapses on the floor. In a matter of seconds, the sash on his suit changes from crimson to bright red and all the symptoms of the illness return to his appearance, including the paleness, the red cheeks and the black eye bags, only that now his expression is worse than ever, both because of the illness and because of his guilt]

REMUS: [getting up and approaching him] Roman? Is that you?

[Roman looks at Remus. His eyes are full of tears]

ROMAN: [weak, almost whining voice] I’m sorry, Remus… I’m sorry, guys… I saw everything happen… but I couldn’t do anything… the Paladin controlled my body… Virgil, I’m sorry… I…

[Virgil approaches Roman. His face couldn’t be more serious]

VIRGIL: That doesn’t matter right now. Now we need to take you to your room, to safety.

ROMAN: Janus… How is Janus? Tell me I didn’t kill him, please…

IAN: [checking him] He’s alive. You didn’t hit him with the sharp edge of your sword. You just knocked him out. I’ll take care of him. You, guys, get Roman to his room.

ROMAN: Thank God… Thank God…

[Remus and Virgil grab Roman, then they and Patton sink down and rise up in Roman’s bedroom]

JOAN: We knew you were coming, guys.

PATTON: You knew? How?

JOAN: Logan has just opened his eyes, look.

PATTON: Logan! Are you okay?

LOGAN: Everything hurts… and I can’t move… but I think I can survive… sort of…

[Patton hugs Logan and kisses him]

LOGAN: Watch out, Pat, I have just said that everything hurts… be more gentle, please.

PATTON: I’m sorry… I was so worried about you…

LOGAN: I can see you have brought Roman here and the Paladin is gone… That’s great… however, this isn’t over yet…

REMUS: What do you mean? You said that when the effect of the pill wore off, he would return back to normal, and it happened so. What do we need to be afraid of?

LOGAN: Joan, I advise you to go back to the real world to check on Thomas.

JOAN: If the Paladin is gone, he should be back to normal, right?

LOGAN: The Paladin’s arrival was a point of no return in Thomas’ mind. He will never be the same again, and Roman is gonna be permanently on the verge of danger, and with him Thomas.

JOAN: You’re scaring me, Logan. What do you mean?

LOGAN: Have you ever heard about bipolar disorder?

JOAN: As a matter of fact, yes. I have a friend who has it… Do you mean that…?

LOGAN: Yes. Thomas has bipolar disorder.

JOAN: Just like that? Like someone getting the flu, he’s contracted bipolar disorder? It doesn’t work like that, right?

LOGAN: Of course not. That disorder has always been asleep in Thomas’ mind. Some people feel the symptoms of the disorder very early in their lives. Others are well into adulthood, even in their fifties or sixties, when they start feeling them. Some start when they go through some kind of specially stressful situation, like…

JOAN: …like this pandemic and confinement. That’s what started the chain reaction, right?

LOGAN: Those pills of hope that Thomas unconsciously generated and Roman took were only a deterrent, but eventually they turned into delusion. Now they’re gonna be useless. Roman can never take those pills again, or the Paladin would return and finish what he couldn’t finish now. I’m sorry, Roman.

ROMAN: I understand. I’m not taking those pills again, not even if I’m dying. I’d rather die than ever be the Paladin again… it was horrible.

VIRGIL: What are exactly the symptoms of… bipolar disorder?

LOGAN: Bipolar disorder, which used to be called in the past manic-depressive disorder, even though that’s name is totally phased out, is a mental disorder that affects the mood. It’s called bipolar because it makes the mind swing through both the polar opposites of mood. There are episodes of euphoria and mania, where the person thinks they can do anything in a delusional way… and there are episodes of deep depression where the person loses all the will to live. If not put under control, the person swings between these two moods until they lose their life, either because of doing something crazy during mania that proves to be fatal, or because, during some bad episode of depression, they can’t resist the sadness and despair and… take their own life as a result.

VIRGIL: Is… Is Thomas going to end like that, then? There’s no solution?

LOGAN: Don’t worry, Virgil, even if it’s your job. Even though bipolar disorder is a chronic illness which doesn’t have a proper cure, nowadays, there are effective treatments. Thomas may occasionally have these episodes of mania and depression, but if he gets psychiatric supervision, takes his medication as prescribed and follows healthy habits that contribute to keep his mood balanced, he can and will have a very normal and productive life. There are lots of people who live a normal life having the disorder. Even among famous people, you’d be surprised of how many of them have or had bipolar disorder: Catherine Zeta-Jones, Carrie Fisher, Demi Lovato, Frank Sinatra, Mariah Carey, Sting, Curt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix… just to name a few. Yes, some of them have or had complicated lives and some of them sadly didn’t end well, but many of them managed or still manage to have a perfectly normal and successful life, and Thomas can have it too. Of course, he’ll need to see a psychiatrist to start treatment as soon as possible. He’ll need hospitalization to put his emotions under control, maybe a few days, maybe a few weeks. That’s why I want you, Joan to take care of him now. Take care of him and take him to a psychiatrist. They’ll know what to do next.

[Talyn rises up]

TALYN: Here you are, Joan!

JOAN: Talyn, what are you doing here? Is something wrong with Thomas?

TALYN: I think so. Suddenly he stopped talking delusionally and instead he started crying like a baby, mumbling that nothing makes sense anymore. He’s now lying on the couch, on fetal position, like a hopeless baby.

JOAN: Is it normal for the mood swings to be so fast, Logan?

LOGAN: There are cases, although I suspect Thomas’ special condition as an owner of a Mind Palace may be an accelerator of the swings, I suppose.

JOAN: Okay, then there’s no more time to waste, Thomas needs help. Will you, guys, be okay?

VIRGIL: We’ll be okay, Joan, don’t worry. Go take care of Thomas.

JOAN: Okay. See ya, guys.

[Joan and Talyn sink down]

ROMAN: But I don’t understand… why am I the only one affected by that… bipolar disorder?

LOGAN: Well, Roman, you are Thomas’ hopes and dreams. It’s only logical that you are the most affected by the disorder. During mania, your dreams heighten to unhealthy levels, that’s when the Paladin shows up. Then during depression, your levels of hope drop down, and that’s when you get sick, like you are now.

ROMAN: And I’m feeling so bad… even worse than before… I just want this to end…

LOGAN: Be strong, Roman. When Thomas starts getting treatment, you’ll get back to normal, you’ll see.

ROMAN: I hope so, Logan. I hope so…

VIRGIL: I’ll take care of you while you’re feeling sick.

ROMAN: Thank you, Virgil. I love you.

VIRGIL: [cold voice] Don’t mention. It’s my duty as your husband, Roman.

LOGAN: And I should be going to my own bedroom, Roman needs his own bed, obviously. Could you help me, Patton? I can barely move, so I’m not of much use for Thomas, logically speaking. You know that logic is always damaged in this kind of disorders. Hope you guys can cope without my help for some time.

PATTON: Okay, I got you, don’t worry.

VIRGIL: Thanks for all your help, guys. Take care, Logan.

[Patton and Logan sink down]

REMUS: If you don’t mind, I’m gonna check on Janus. I’m too worried about him.

ROMAN: Of course, Remus. I hope he’s all right too, I wouldn’t forgive myself if I… Thanks again for your help. If it wasn’t for you distracting me, I don’t know what I could have done to the Mind Palace or… to Virgil.

REMUS: Anytime, brother.

VIRGIL: And I also apologize for being so rude to you, Remus. I know you didn’t mean to cause trouble and you only cared about Roman. It was the fear what made me speak to you like that. I’m sorry for everything I said to you. I didn’t mean it, I promise.

REMUS: It’s okay, Virgil, I can handle it. [puts his hand on Virgil’s shoulder] But I really appreciate the apology, and I apologize too for the mess I have caused.

VIRGIL: It’s okay. According to Logan, this was bound to happen sooner or later anyway.

REMUS: Bye, guys. [sinks down] Get well soon, brother.

ROMAN: Thanks, Remus…

[a sign reads “To be continued, guys, gals and non binary pals”]

[end card]

[Virgil helps Roman get into bed. Then summons Roman’s pajama in place of his prince suit. He’s still serious all the time, not saying a word]

ROMAN: Uh… Chris… Do you feel good enough to make some ramen for dinner, for all of us?

CHRIS: But I can just summon the ra…

ROMAN: [giving a dirty look to Chris] It would be better if you just went to the kitchen and took your time to make the ramen, please? [the last word he says it giving a significant look at Virgil, then at the door]

CHRIS: [understanding] Oh… of course, father. [getting out of the bedroom with his crotches] I’ll go make it right now.

[Chris closes the door behind him. Virgil looks at Roman with the same serious face]

ROMAN: Virgil I…

VIRGIL: [with a sharp tone] I don’t need you to apologize, Roman.

ROMAN: But I do, because I have hurt you.

VIRGIL: You weren’t yourself. You would have never said those things to me if you had been in your normal state. If it helps you feel better, I forgive you.

ROMAN: Thanks, Virgil. It means a lot to me… But are you okay?

VIRGIL: [same sharp tone] What do you think? It’s not exactly the best for someone’s mood to find out that your husband… that you genuinely think that I’m bad for Thomas and you hate the way I am.

ROMAN: I didn’t say that, I…

VIRGIL: But you think it. Janus confirmed that, as the Paladin, you weren’t lying. You really hate who I am and what I do. What I don’t get then is… why did you marry me, Roman? If you don’t like how I am, why did you marry me?

ROMAN: Because I love you Virgil. My love for you is real.

VIRGIL: Is it though?

ROMAN: What do you mean? Of course it’s real! You are the one I love the most in my life! You and Chris, and Thomas, of course, are in different ways the men of my life!

VIRGIL: I don’t know… Since you’ve hidden your real feelings about me in that sense… I really don’t know if I can trust you anymore.

ROMAN: That hurts me, Virgil. It really hurts me.

VIRGIL: Not as much as me saying it, you can bet. Because I still love you more than anything. Like the first time I confessed my feelings to you, I still love you more than I love myself, and I would still give my live for you if you asked me. I already did once, in case you’ve forgotten. But now… [looking at Roman with a face of huge sadness and disappointment] I don’t know if you would do the same for me and the doubt feels like having a knife stuck in my stomach…

ROMAN: Virgil, I…

VIRGIL: I’m gonna go help Chris make the ramen, if you don’t mind. We’ll bring it to you when it’s ready. See ya later, Roman.

[Virgil gets out of Roman’s room and closes the door behind him. Roman starts silently crying when he hears muffled sobbing on the other Side of the door, Virgil’s sobbing]

[babygirlofwakanda]

Season’s Greeting

CHARACTERS — Giselle X Chris Hemsworth

CONTENT — Christmas Shenanigans and Surpises!

PLOT — A little somethin’ surrounding Christmas.

NARRATIVE — Christmas has always been an event for Giselle. Dating back to her excitement and starry eyed gaze at the string lights as a child in Texas, the brown beauty’s unconditional love for the holiday hasn’t strayed throughout the decades.

Sharing her passion with her husband, Chris quickly understood the importance to Giselle and has since aided in making this time of year special for her and now for their children.

A long way from the modern style home he once knew, the six-foot four man stood in between the living room and kitchen with his hands on his hips and admired the festive changes. With an array of red, white and gold accented decor spread through the house Chris took everything in. Starting from the train track underneath the eight-foot tree, red throw pillows and holiday figurines on the tables to the mistletoe he stashed above the doorways.

Stifling out a laugh at his wife’s attention to detail the Aussie shuffled over to the mirror in the hallway and flattened his palm over his black long-sleeve shirt before sighing while looking at his TAG Heuer.

“Giselle— sweetheart! The reservation is for eight and its almost six forty-five, we gotta hit the road!”

“—I know Chris, I’m coming! Uh, just gimme like five more minutes.” He heard her promise, making Chris exhale only for him to inhale the scented pine cones dipped in various oils scattered around his house.

Whispering, “What the hell is she doing up there..” under his breath, Chris waltzed into the kitchen.

Reaching down the actor stole a couple of gumdrop from his children’s gingerbread houses, propped up against the countertop before popping a few into his mouth. Grabbing another gumdrop from the rooftop of the gingerbread house, Chris allowed the smooth harmonies of The Temptations Silent Night playing from the speakers to distract him from the time.

Alone in the kitchen with a mouth full of candy Chris tried to hold the classic ‘silent night’ note only for his gruff voice to come out in the wrong pitch. “—damn babe!” He heard Giselle’s squeak out from behind.

Turning around as Giselle’s infectious laugh echoed through the kitchen, the Aussie strolled closer and continued his singing; keeping a smile on her face.

Inching his face closer towards Giselle, he cradled her face and started to lower his face only to pause mid-motion as he admired her undeniable beauty.

Meeting him halfway Giselle lifted her face to kiss him; immediately muffling his singing. Pulling back from the tender kiss Giselle felt Chris nudge his nose against hers in a way to subliminally ask for another kiss before she placed a hand against his black silk shirt and whispered, “Let’s go.” against his lips.

“Uh, okay,” Chris groaned, as he stood straight with a pout, “—but not before you spin around for me!” He hyped, quickly replacing his frown with a sly grin.

Sliding his palm into hers, Chris lifted their hands up and motioned for her to twirl around. Gluing his eyes to her body as Giselle pivoted in a circle, he watched the silk and denim pairing clutch onto every slope of her body. Leaving Chris blinking away the lust from his orbs before she turned to him; exhaling Chris licked over his lips before he ushered them out.

Oh, how date night was Chris’s fucking favorite night. With the children out with their grandparents; Alex and Janice who arrived last night, they were out doing some last minute shopping before taking the kids to see Frozen 2 for the umpteenth time.

The clinging of silverware, small chatter and the sizzling of the food carried on the trays of passing waiters filled Giselle’s ear. Glancing around the deck Giselle admired the string lights wrapped around the balcony and beams while the dark purple hue above painted the sky as the sunsetted above the ocean.

Enthralled in the scene, Giselle felt the wind softly blow through her hair while she breathed in the salty air before shifting around. Taking ahold of her straw, she stirred the strawberry lemonade conation and gripped the glass before bringing it to her lips.

Gulping down her drink in one take she heard her husband clear his throat before his voice followed, “Uh, is everything alright?” He questioned, making Giselle slowly sink in her chair. Did he figure her out?

“No, um— I’m fine. Why, wassup?” She rebutted.

“It’s just that um— everytime we come here you order the wine,” The Australian stuttered out, before he went to nervously rub the back of his neck.

“—and as of late, you’ve been chugging down the lemonade— but it’s not just that; it’s everything.”

“Like how lately you practically start gagging on queue whenever seafood is present— which may I remind you has been your favorite food since we’ve met. Or the constant running off the bathroom and now the lemonade! Baby, you only do that when,”

“—I have your basket of garlic bread right here, your food should be out shortly.” The waiter interrupted.

Directing her gaze from Chris’s anxious face to the smiling waiter, Giselle returned his grin while silently thanking the high heavens for stopping her husband from talking his way into ruining her surprise present.

The rest of the dinner flowed nicely. After forgetting the suggestive topic he was going to discuss, Chris and Giselle ate and giggled as they thought about how their family was going to react to their gifts.

Hitting a quiet mark as her husband sipped on his tequila, Giselle knew this was her opportunity to talk to Chris. Clearing her throat, “Now, I know that we’ve agreed that we weren’t gonna spoil eachother before Christmas but I got somethin’ for you honeybun.”

Reaching into her purse Giselle slipped out a brown flat, but wide box tied with a glittery red bow before she placed it on the table and slid it towards Chris.

With her acrylics still on the box, Giselle watched Chris’s thick digits touch the other end before she flicked her orbs up to look into his. “I couldn’t wait babe, I needed to have this moment with you and only you.” She detailed, before releasing the box.

In the box contained three positive pregnancy tests and underneath was a photoset of their unborn child.

With days of denying the possibility after her sick episode in Texas, Giselle couldn’t shake the feeling but once the symptoms started to slowly arise she abruptly sent her assistant to the store. Making out the two lines with ease Giselle kept her little secret and found out she was coming along nine weeks pregnant until this very moment; this second.

Instantly feeling a wave of vulnerability travel down her spine Giselle also felt the urge of premature tears threatening to unleash as one slipped from her eye while she watched her husband’s instant reaction.

Staring at her husband Giselle saw the corners of Chris’s mouth quickly lift as he picked up one of the tests and widened his smile over the digital two lines before he put it down and caressed his thumb over the developing baby in the ultrasound pictures.

Watching the moment Chris finally looked up, the brown beauty caught the extra gloss over his eyes before he blinked and allowed a tear to fall as well.

“Giselle! Oh my— this is fucking incredible baby!”

Thankful for the secluded area, Giselle beamed as Chris abruptly jumped up; making the chair screech in the process before he jogged over to embrace her.

Standing up, Giselle was immediately wrapped in Chris’s arms as he rocked her side to side. Pressing kisses all over her head he mumbled, “I fucking love you,” gripped her face and exchanged a tearful gaze with his wife before he smashed their lips together.

——————————

The Christmas spirit was unmatched in the Hemsworth household. With everyone clad in a holiday printed onesies and slippers, drinking from their customized mugs of hot chocolate and Giselle’s playlist that included everyone from Destiny’s Child, Wham! to Alexander O’Neal playing through the tv; the family piled into the living with full stomachs from the big breakfast before passing out gifts.

“GiGi! You did not!” Iris gasped, as she slowly pulled the dust bag out of the mustard-colored Fendi box.

Hearing her sister squeal once the neon pink bag from Nicki Minaj’s collab was in her possession, the oldest sister swore she saw Iris leap across the living room just to bring Chris and her into a bear hug while she beamed. Once Iris released them and returned to baby Mia attempting to put a red bow in her mouth, Giselle continued watching her kids unwrap their gifts before she looked over her shoulder to find Chris with a silver glitter box lying in his palms.

Closely watching her husband raise the top Giselle instantly caught Chris’s blue eyes light up while his jaw falter open making the quarter million she spent all worth it for her honeybun’s priceless smile. In the box contained the car keys to a 1965 Chevy Corvair Monza with a custom baby blue paint job, cream seating, silver detailing and a full tank of gas.

After hearing countless fond memories of her husband’s childhood singled around this vehicle, Giselle knew it was only a matter of time before she had to get Chris the car he constantly ranted about.

Heart-racing from excitement the Aussie quickly picked up the keys and pressed a button abruptly making the car ring out. Immediately looking at his wife with childlike joy, Chris struggled to his feet and ran to the front door which instantly made the rest of the family follow behind in peak curiosity. Running to the driveway Chris quickly faltered his steps once his eyes landed on the replica car his father, Craig drove around when Chris was nothing but a young lad.

Picking up his pace while he unlocked the car, Chris slid in the car with door propped opened and gawked over the smooth interior. Hearing the footsteps of his family scurrying down the pavement, the surprised man took his orbs off the vehicle and brought them to Giselle who grinned as she stared back at him.

—and before he knew it, Chris was stumbling out of the car and over to her like a lovesick puppy as the family patted his back and went to admire the car.

Roughly gripping her face the Aussie scooped down and kissed Giselle to transfer his appreciation before he leaned back and pulled her frame into his while he swayed her body with his eyes closed. “Whew, I love you so fucking much girl!” He grunted, before he squeezed her tighter with his last few words.

“I love you too, honeybun. I hope you liked your gift.”

Immediately cocking his head back, Chris quickly scrunched his face up, “Liked? Girl, I love this gift.” He corrected, making Giselle’s infectious laugh ring out. Biting his lips in effort to contain his smile Chris slid his tongue over his lips as he looked down at his wife, “C’mon, I still have gifts for you.” He winked, with a nod to the house before pulling her hand.

Returning back to the living room with the family slowing filing back inside, the brown beauty retook her place back on the floor while Chris searched for a specific gift and within a few moments, the wrapped present was placed infront of her crisscrossed legs.

Grinning up at her husband, Giselle dragged her chocolate orbs away from him and turned towards her gift before she pressed her acrylics through the striped wrapping paper. Uncovering the orange box, Giselle squealed as she ran a finger over the Hermès logo engraved on the lid. After lifting the top, pulling the tissue paper back to grab the dust bag, Giselle felt her smile reach her eyes once her hand made contact with the slick fabric before pulling it out.

“Oh, shit!” She rasped, with her wide-eyes glued to the exclusive Rose Scheherazade Porosus Crocodile Birkin bag. Ghosting a hand over the reptile skin, the overjoyed wife flicked her eyes to her blue eyed beau; who now sat beside her and beamed as he observed her reaction. Throwing her arms around his neck she started placing kissing all over his face, “Thank you! Thank you!” Giselle repeated, as her family awed.

After months of procrastinating to buy this bag only to avoid the store whenever she was on Rodeo Drive, Giselle never expected Chris to catch her off guard.

“Ew!” The couple heard their kids groan whenever their affection lingering for more than thirty seconds.

Pulling away with a laugh, Giselle grabbed her latest addition to her Birkins before squealing once more.

Wrapping paper slowly began to litter the floor and sitting on the floor watching, the Hollywood couple watched on still enamored by their personal gifts.

“—good lookin’ out on the shades guys!” Liam yelled, with a thumbs up as he waved his storage case full of aviators around. Smiling at her brother-in-law, Giselle watched as her children and nieces excitedly played with their new toys while her parents and in-laws gawked over their designer trinkets and bags.

Looking up at her husband who also looked around the living room, it wasn’t long before Chris caught her eyes and the Hollywood couple shared a look.

Knowing that they had an important announcement to share with their family, Giselle sprung to her feet and grabbed a wrapped box hidden behind the tree while Chris got everybody’s attention, “Hey, hey!”

“We have something we would like to share with everyone.” His thick accent ranged out, with a touch of nervousness and excitement inflected in his tone.

“Yes, we do.” Giselle hinted, as she placed the box on the coffee table infront of where her parents and in-laws sat. “—please, everyone gather around.”

Retreating back to where her husband stood, Giselle threw her left arm around his waist while he draped his arm over her shoulder and brought her closer.

“Go on and open it.” The actress gestured, making Mama Janice and Mama Leonie carefully open the box while Papa Alex and Papa Craig looked on.

Anxiously watching her parents and in-laws raise the lid to the box, Giselle nervously leaned into Chris and lifted her hands to her face only to spread them and peak between her fingers as their shrieks echoed.

In the box contained a ultrasound picture tapped to the lid with a black letter-board in the box that read, ‘Baby Hemsworth. Due in June 2020.’ and under the board included a beige teddy bear, a baby rattle and bottle, and a folded white bodysuit and mini socks.

“—ahh! I knew it, I knew it!” Mama Janice exclaimed, as she jumped up and down before walking towards her daughter with her arms out and a bright smile.

Breaking away from her husband, Giselle was instantly immersed in the warmth of her mother’s arms. With tears of joys slipping from her chocolate orbs, the emotional beauty smiled and wiped at her tears before she was embraced by a tearful Leonie.

“Congratulations, sweetheart!” Her mother-in-law whispered, before pressing a chaste kiss to Giselle’s head and pulling away. Gushing from all the love, the actress caught her husband dapping up Quinton and Liam as they also gave their ‘congrats’ before teasing Chris on baby number four. Smiling at their moment Giselle’s eyes were quickly taken off them as small arms wrapped themselves around her abdomen.

Looking down she spotted her twins hugging her growing belly, “I love you mommy!”, “I can’t wait for the baby to come out!” Her girls squealed, before she hugged her twins and kissed their heads. As the girls skipped away to go play with their new iPads. Giselle went to go take a seat when the soft pulling of her onesie immediately caught her attention.

Dragging her eyes down Giselle instantly saw her babyboy’s ever-changing green eyes peering up at her while a frown graced his face. Twisting her own lips around the momma-bear cupped her three year olds chin before she asked what was wrong. “I don’t wanna share you.” He pouted, “C’mon Julian, your sisters had to share their time with me when you came along and now you have to do the same.”

“It doesn’t mean that mommy or daddy loves you any less, you hear me? We love you, and besides,”

Crouching down almost eyelevel to Julian, Giselle spoke to her youngest child, “—this means that you get to be a big brother Jules!” She hyped, as a smile replaced his confusion. Taking him into her arms, she cradled Julian’s body in her lap until her back leaned up against the couch, “When the baby gets older you can show them all your toys, play hide and go seek, read them stories just like your sisters do you and,”

“—and I can share my floaties when w-we go in the big ocean with daddy and my uncles!”, “—and you can share your floaties!” Giselle repeated, with a headnod while gushing at her son’s words.

Once the family calmed down from the news of a new addition, the couple sat on the floor as Chris shared his own excitement with his loved ones.

“Y’know despite all the gifts we’ve received today, my greatest gift is just being able to have y’all here and sharing the good news.” Chris smiled, while he caressed Giselle’s belly as she sat between his bent legs on the floor. “Every year you all either fly these long hours just to come to Australia or drive all the way down here to celebrate Christmas together.”

“—and we truly appreciate that.” Chris admitted, as he interlocked his fingers with Giselle as she turned back to smile at him. “We love everyone of you and we just want to wish y’all a Merry Christmas.”

Hearing the family echo back his words, Giselle gushed and leaned back into her husband’s warm arms as he continued to massage her little pudge.

They couldn’t wait for their bundle of joy arrival.

AUTHOR’S NOTE — I hope everyone had a great Christmas! Let’s get this new year poppin’!

TAGLIST — @wakandas-vibranium @oceanscorazon @melaninmarvel @wakandamama @storibambino @shortstacks-blog @chaneajoyyy @klaylakayblack @ashanti-notthesinger @iamrheaspeaks @destinio1 @theunsweetenedtruth @wakanda-inspired @s0eul

[blackcrawford]

Why Women of Color on Supergirl Deserve Better

 There are things that need to be said about Supergirl, its fans and its treatment of women of color. Specifically black women. [I will be speaking for my Asian and Hispanic sistas as well. But as a black woman, I mostly speak about that]

Thsi interaction sparked somewhat of a reaction in me. 

Azie Tesfai (who plays Kelly Olsen in Supergirl) is a black woman.

Now with the feminist rhetoric that will always surround this show, because it was the foundation it was built on, people tend to forget that women of color exist, because the show is peak White Feminism. Up there with Taylor Swift and Pink Vagina hats. 

All of the women of color on Supergirl excluding Kelly and the Colonel, has either been some sort of villain and/or dies.

National City is supposed to be LA and apparently only had one Mexican person and four black people. 

If you’re in LA and don’t see a Mexican or a black person, it’s cause you hid in your bathroom all day. 

That’s completely irresponsible and dangerous. It’s erasure. 

All of the witches in S3 except for one was a woman of color. Which is irresponsible and dangerous. 

Alex putting a gun in that black womans face, after breaking into her home based on Kara's DREAM, while the woman had on headphones, when she hadn't even committed a crime, is literally so insensitive considering the culture we live in.

Look up Korryn Gaines. Here I did it for you. 

(http://data.baltimoresun.com/news/korryn-gaines/)

It was something out of a white supremacist wet dream. Something black and brown people all over the country have to live in fear of. 

I refuse to watch that episode ever again. Irresponsible, dangerous and blatantly racist.

Supergirl was not and has not been a show that is friendly to women of color. (I would say ask Floriana, but she isn’t even a woman of color. She just TANS. Like really? Really? They had her playing a hispanic woman and she ain’t even hispanic? Not black face, but close. Disgustingly close)

Insert Kelly. 

During a season where the subject of profiling and discrimination was the main focus. 

Coincedence?! I think so. 

I doubt the Supergirl writers did that on purpose, because they are not that smart. 

The reaction to the treatment of aliens on this fictional show was more empathetic than the actual prejudice that those considered part of the African Diaspora faced is not only repugnant, it is cognitively dissonant. 

Supergirl is a show with mostly LGBTQ+ identiying people as fans. It has a lot to do with the people who tuned in for Sanvers on S2 and S3. 

Also a lot of people who want to see Supercorp, and also Katie Mcgrath has played WLW characters in the futre. 

(Speaking of Katie Mcgrath and Lena Luthor! READ MY OTHER WRITING ABOUT SUPERGIRL and that reveal!)

( https://lenashomegirl.tumblr.com/post/185024993045/why-lena-luthor-matters-even-when-others-actions)

LGBTQ+ community members tend to be some of the most racist people in the world, while also crying about equality. 

And that isn’t seen more clear than Sanvers fans treatment of Azie Tesfai.

Calling her an “IT”, numerous times, making sure she saw it. 

The dehumanization of black women is so ingrained in the psyche of white supremacists, that they don’t even consider it white supremacy at work. They just see it, as a Twitter feud. 

I have not seen her being called the N word, but based on how y’all treated Mechad those first couple seasons, I know for a fact y’all have got that slur locked and loaded in the chamber, for them extra bored days.

 https://www.instagram.com/p/BwDb221hTsM/

Mechad spoke about this less than two months ago. All of them spoke about it. With Candice from The Flash. 

Candice not quitting is a testament of how strong black women really are. I remember when it was announced. You Neo Stanzis came out to PLAY. I was so disgusted. 

You’re not going to do this to Azie y’all. We won’t allow this to happen. I won’t allow this to happen. I don’t care if I’m fighting by myself, writing an essay a week for the next 3 seasons, I will be here like Tony Montana at the top of your tags and timelines, emptying chamber after chamber. 

If you racist fangirls suspend me, I will make another account on another computer and keep going. 

Not liking a character is completely understandable. I wanna knock Kara’s teeth out most of the time. But I don’t comment under all of Melissa’s social media posts “Hey I wanna knock your perfect teeth out”

 Y’all bullying real people. 

And I see what y’all trying to do. I’m not stupid. 

Y’all bullied the guy (Rahul Kohli) that played Jack Spheer as well. He called the fandom “toxic” and “nasty”.  And he also, called y’all “racist”

HM! All of the people of color who have white love interest on this show has had a problem with racism on this show. Almost seems as if it’s a habit as opposed to a one off comment here and there. 

Y’all got Chris Wood (Not a man of color, but a good example of the toxicity that permeates the fandom) out the paint, by bullying him till his anxiety almost killed him. He spoke about it in his livestream for his clothing line. He was talking about his dad’s undiagnosed mental illness ended up killing him and he spoke about how dangerous social media is. Him and Melissa had to shut off the comments to their own engagement announcement. 

A dangerous precedent has been set by the Supergirl fandom. 

Y’all think you can bully people, until you get your way. Until people leave. 

And y’all say “It’s not racist, if we don’t like Kelly. She’s just not right with Alex”

Why is she not right? She’s smart, she’s beautiful, she speaks to Alex in a non condescending way (Maggie was a douche. I hated her.), Alex likes her. etc. What EXACTLY is not right about Kelly? Specifically. 

“They moved too fast” Give me a break. Maggie and Alex got engaged in six months. 

You guys speak about representation and seeing yourself positively, but that all goes out the window when people of color are involved, huh? 

Black women aren’t allowed to see themselves as nothing more than yellow eyed villains in National City? 

She’s here. She broke your illusion of Supergirls predominantly white world with a few tokens and now your SICK. 

Get used to it. She’s here. 

And the KKK rallies y’all host in her mentions, ain’t gonna drive her away. 

[theycallmebeccawrites]

One Shot: Making It Official

With Tumblr holding my original writing blog @beccaheartschrisevans captive (aka flagged as explicit), I have made a secondary writing blog and may end up closing the other all together. In the meantime, I am reposting all of my stories on my new blog.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Kimber Ramsey (OFC)

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: graphic sex

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

18+ Disclaimer: This work contains sexual material that is for those over the age of 18. By clicking the keep reading link below, you are agreeing that you are over the age of 18 and are not offended by sexual content.

This story is also available on AO3.

Kimber Ramsey was on her lunch break when the first text from Chris Evans came through:

Go away with me this weekend?

She smiled at the idea, thinking it would be lovely to get out of the city for a couple days. At the same time, however, she felt a little nervous. She and Chris had only met a couple months ago, albeit through mutual friends, but they still hadn't had the "relationship" discussion to determine if they were exclusive or not. Not that Kimber was seeing anyone else and she didn't think he was either, but he was famous and women were constantly flirting with him, even when they were on a date and she was sitting right across from him.

Needing more information from him, Kimber replied:

Where to?

His response came a couple minutes later.

My cabin. It's about an hour away. In the woods.

Thanks to years of watching crime dramas and reading mystery novels, Kimber's anxiety level rose at the thought of going to a, likely secluded, cabin in the woods. Logically, she knew her reaction was unwarranted, because she knew that Chris wouldn't hurt a fly; maybe a spider or someone who hurt someone he cared about, but even then, she had a hard time seeing it.

Needing to ease her mind, Kimber sent a quick text to her friend who'd introduced her to Chris that past summer.

Chris asked me to go away with him for the weekend.

Alison's response was almost immediate:

Oh my god! That is fantastic!! I told you that you were perfect for each other!!

Kimber chewed on my lower lip as she typed her reply:

So I should say yes?

Seconds after sending the text, Kimber's phone started ringing and her friend's face was displayed. Kimber accepted the call and barely got "hey" out of her mouth before Alison started talking.

"Are you seriously thinking about declining?" she demanded.

"He wants to take me to his cabin in the woods," Kimber explained. "That sounds like the start of an episode of SVU."

"This isn't SVU though," Alison insisted. "This is Chris Evans! Let's pretend for a second that he isn't one of my husband's best friends. If he was a creeper that killed his girlfriends, he would have already been caught and put in jail! But he isn't. He is a famous actor. He isn't going to cut you up and stick you in his freezer."

"I know that," Kimber sighed. "I'm just nervous. We've only been seeing each other for a few months. Isn't it a little fast to go away together?"

"Haven't you stayed the night at each other's places?"

"Well, yes, mostly at my place, though, because I have to get up earlier than he does."

"So treat this like that. Except you're going to his place. Stop overthinking things."

"You're right. I'm overthinking this. Thanks."

"You're welcome! Now go tell Mr. Hottie that you'll go with him this weekend."

After hanging up with Alison, Kimber sent Chris a text accepting his invitation for the weekend. He replied almost instantly:

Perfect! I'll pick you up at your place Friday night after work.

By the time Friday rolled around, Kimber was more than ready to escape the city. Work had been absolutely insane during the last couple of days and she couldn't wait to leave the office. She even took a shorter lunch so she could leave earlier than she usually did.

Since she had packed her weekend bag the night before, all Kimber had to do when she got home was take a quick shower (taking extra care to not get her hair wet), put some makeup on and then get dressed.

It took her roughly 45-minutes to get everything done and, when Chris knocked on her door, she was ready to go. Opening the door, she smiled when she found him standing with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his dark wash jeans. He was wearing a red, plaid, long sleeve shirt with a black shirt underneath it.

"Hey," he greeted. He slipped his hands from his pockets and leaned in, giving her a short peck on the lips. Leaning back, he took in her black leggings and short sleeve tunic top then shook his head. "I don't think you're going to be warm enough in that."

"Really?" Kimber asked, looking down at her outfit.

"Really." Chris nodded. "Do you mind if I take a look at what you have?"

"Uh, sure," Kimber replied. Stepping back, she let him into her apartment and then closed the door after him. "You know where the bedroom is." She grabbed her weekender bag then followed Chris back to her bedroom. "Anything in particular you're looking for?"

"Jeans, sweatshirt, flannel," Chris rattled off as he opened her closet door after getting her nod of approval.

"The jeans I have, the other two I don't," Kimber replied. "I have sweaters and cardigans though."

"I'll just loan you some of mine," he told her. "I always bring extras." Reaching into the closet, he pulled out two pairs of her jeans then grabbed a couple long sleeved shirts.

"What about pajamas?" she asked him as she removed what she'd packed the night before from her weekender bag. "I think I have a pair of s-"

"We'll stay plenty warm without pajamas," he told her, a smile playing on his lips. "We both know I become a furnace when I sleep."

Kimber smirked at his words, despite the fact that her cheeks warmed. She lifted the silk nightgown from her bag and dropped it onto the bed. Looking up, she saw Chris give her an approving nod.

She repacked her bag and then, after Chris left the room, she changed into a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. She tossed one of her favorite sweaters into her bag and then zipped it up. Carrying it out of the room, she found Chris sitting on the couch waiting for her.

"Alright, I'm ready to go," she told him.

"Excellent." Chris smiled. Getting up, he took the bag from her and carried it out to the car for her. He opened her door and then closed it once she was in the car. Then he opened the trunk to put her bag in and pulled out one of his plaid shirts from his own bag before closing the trunk. Walking to his side of the car, he opened it and climbed in.

"Thank you." Kimber smiled after he handed her the shirt. She leaned forward and slipped the shirt on over her long sleeved shirt. She felt warm immediately and loved the way his spicy scent lingered on the well-loved fabric. "You might never get this back."

"We'll see about that." Chris chuckled as he started the car.

The traffic was heavy as they left the city, but the closer they got to his wooded retreat, the fewer cars they saw. They made small talk as they traveled and it was just after sunset when Chris turned onto a gravel road. The drive to his cabin took a few more minutes and before she knew it he was pulling up in front of a small cabin.

"I should warn you right now it's a little rustic and pretty small," he told her.

"Do you have running water? Or am I going to have to use an outhouse?" she asked him, sounding serious as a smile played her lips.

"Yes, there is running water." He chuckled. "And no, there is a small, but fully plumbed bathroom inside."

"Then I won't make you drive me back to the city," she teased. Getting out of the car, she met him at the trunk and took her own bag while he grabbed his bag as well as a bag of groceries.

He led her up a gravel path to the door and unlocked it. He led the way inside and set his bag down so he could turn on a light.

The cabin was small, Kimber agreed as she took it all in. The front half of the cabin was a sitting area with a wood burning stove. The back part of the cabin had one door which she suspected was to the bathroom. Next to the bathroom was a small kitchen area. Above the kitchen and bathroom was a loft with a ladder leading up to it.

"The bed is in the loft," Chris told her as he carried the bag of groceries over to the tiny kitchen and set them on the small table. "But the couch has a pull-out bed that we can sleep on if heights aren't your thing."

"I think I'll be ok up there," Kimber replied and then got a little flirty. "Especially with a strong man like yourself to keep me from falling."

Chris laughed and flexed the arm. "I think I can handle that."

"My hero," Kimber said in a falsetto voice that rolled right into laughter. "Ok, now that I'm done stroking your ego -"

"No, please, by all means, keep stroking me… I mean, it," Chris said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Kimber shook her head as she smiled. "You gotta feed me first," she told him.

"That can be arranged," Chris said as he turned on the baseboard heater to take the chill out of the cabin. "You can put your bag on the floor by mine."

Kimber set her bag down, took off her shoes and then joined him in the kitchen area. She watched as he pulled a few things out of the bag and then put them in the cupboard.

"I keep this place pretty much stocked throughout the year," he told her as he worked. "I either come up here alone or with my family," he said as he put the few fresh ingredients he'd brought into the refrigerator.

Kimber noticed, immediately, that he hadn't mentioned bringing women to his cabin. She chewed on her lower lip, trying to keep herself from asking the question she was dying to ask, but she ultimately gave in. "So you've never brought a woman up here?" she asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.

"Nope, you're the first one," he replied, turning to smile at her. "That obviously means you're pretty special." Leaning over, he stole a kiss before he straightened up. "Alright, how does spaghetti sound for dinner?"

"Fantastic," Kimber replied with a happy smile on her face. He hadn't called her his girlfriend, but he'd suggested that she meant more to him than the women he'd dated in the past.

"Good, because I didn't have a plan b." Chris pulled a jar of spaghetti sauce from the cupboard.

"Are Italians allowed to use spaghetti sauce from a jar?" Kimber teased. "I mean, does your mother know?"

"Yes we are and I'll have you know that my mom bought this jar of sauce," Chris replied then stuck his tongue out at her. "My mom doesn't like to spend hours in the kitchen when she's on vacation. It's the only time she uses shortcuts like sauce from a jar."

"Good to know." Kimber took in the small cabin again and furrowed her brow when she recalled Chris saying that his whole family came up here from time to time. She hadn't met his family yet, but he loved to talk about them and she knew there were a lot of them. "Chris, how exactly does your family fit in this cabin?"

"Oh we don't," he replied as he dumped ground sausage into a skillet to brown. "My mom, sisters and niece sleep in the cabin with the toilet and running water while my brother, brother-in-law, nephews and myself sleep outside in tents." He chuckled to himself. "It's the only place my sister lets her boys pee outside. They love it."

"Boys are so weird." Kimber shook her head. She moved to the window that looked out into the area behind the cabin, but it was too dark to see anything.

"I'll show you the area surrounding the cabin tomorrow," Chris told her. "It's still a bit baron this time of year, but before long the wildflowers will be blooming."

"I bet it's lovely here during the summer," Kimber said, turning away from the window and watching him cook.

"Best place for watching the stars," he replied. "There's a small lake not too far away and I love listening to the water hit the shore while taking in the billions and billions of stars." He turned away from the cooking and met her eyes. "I can't wait to take you out there this summer."

"Really?" Kimber asked, surprised by his words although she was extremely flattered that he saw a future for them.

"You sound surprised," he said, raising an eyebrow. "Why?"

Kimber chewed on her lower lip as she tried to come up with an answer to his question. The obvious one was that they hadn't discussed a future together let alone decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend, but she didn't want to go there if that wasn't what he was saying. That said, it would maybe it was better to get it all out in the open now and be done with it?

"Kimber?" he asked, his voice showing concern.

"What are we, exactly?" she asked him. "Are we just seeing each other? Dating? Exclusive?"

Chris turned the temperature down on the stove then came over to her. "What do you want us to be?" he asked her.

"I asked you first," she replied, nervously as she looked up into his blue eyes.

"Alright," Chris smiled as he took her hand. "I'm 35, almost 36, and I've dated a lot during the last twenty years or so."

Kimber's felt her stomach churn and tried to keep her feelings to herself, but he saw right through her.

"Hold on, I'm getting to the point where I'll answer your question," he assured her, fighting back a laugh. "You're different from all the women I've dated and or slept with and in a great way. There is a reason why you are the first woman I've brought to this cabin, Kimber." He squeezed her hand. "You want to know what I want us to be? I want to be your boyfriend, for now, and someday, I hope I can be more than that."

"Really?" she squeaked out as she stared up at him with her green eyes open wide.

"Really," he nodded. "I hope you feel the same way."

"Yes." She bobbed her head up and down. "I want to be your boyfriend, too." Her eyes widened and he started to laugh. "Girlfriend! I meant girlfriend! Oh my God."

Chris continued to laugh as he pulled her into his arms and held her against his chest. He couldn't get enough of the beautiful redhead who charmed him, turned him on, made him laugh, and made him want to be the best man he possibly could be all at the same time.

When he finally let go of her, they finished cooking together and then sat down at the small table that was positioned behind the couch. They talked as they ate and he kept her entertained by telling her stories about his family's adventures at the cabin: the countless family dinners that took place at the two picnic tables outside, the time he'd jumped into the creek that fed the lake to save his nephew's favorite teddy bear, and a handful of other stories, like the time he and his brother had gotten snowed in.

After they finished eating, Kimber helped Chris clean up the dinner dishes. Then, while he slipped into the bathroom, she opened her weekender bag and swapped the flannel shirt of Chris's she was still wearing for her favorite fuzzy, cream-colored sweater.

Then she climbed up the ladder to the loft and flipped the light switch. She let out a little gasp when the loft was suddenly lit with the soft glow from a string of lights hanging from the rafters. Leaving the ceiling, her eyes took in the rest of the loft. The only bed was made up of a couple large sleeping pads that were covered with blankets with extra blankets and sleeping bags stacked alongside.

Wanting to test the sleeping pad, she lowered herself onto one and then laid down. She let out a happy sigh when she felt how soft it was.

"Kimber?" she heard Chris call, a few minutes later.

"Up here," she called back, sitting up.

"I'm coming up," Chris announced then made his way up the ladder.

"Hi," Kimber said when he appeared.

"Hi," he replied. He made his way over to the bed, where she sat, and plopped down next to her. "You changed." He tugged softly on the arm of her sweater.

"So did you," she stated, gesturing to the gray sweatpants he was now wearing.

"These are more comfortable," he replied as he leaned back on his elbows. "Feel free to take off your jeans, too."

"But I don't have any pants to wear other than jeans," she reminded him.

"I promised to keep you warm," Chris replied with smirk. "And that's a promise I intend to keep."

Kimber studied him for a moment before she stood up and shimmed out of her jeans with her back towards him. When the jeans were below her knees, she lowered herself back to the sleeping pad and pulled them off with her socks.

Turning towards him, she crawled across the pads to where he was lounging and swung her leg over his waist so she was straddling him. She pushed him down so he was laying on his back with his head on pillow.

"Hi," she said, again.

"Hi," he replied, bringing his arms up and placing them on her hips. "You've got me where you wanted me, so now what are you going to do to me?"

Leaning forward, Kimber took his face in her hands then leaned in for a kiss. In this new position, her panty-covered pussy was positioned perfectly over his sweatpants-covered cock. She rocked her hips slightly as they kissed and giggled against his lips when he slid his hands up under her sweater and dug his fingers into her hips.

She could feel his cock hardening as they kissed and couldn't help but wiggle as she felt herself getting turned on, too. Pulling away, she trailed kisses down his neck and to skin at the top of his shirt. She pulled the collar aside to continue kissing him and slid her tongue over the tattoo on his clavicle.

Pushing herself into a sitting position, Kimber grabbed the hem of Chris's shirt and helped him take it off. Then she leaned forward again and showered his chest and torso in kisses and little nips. She swirled her tongue around each of his nipples, earning a groan from him. She made her way down to the patch of hair that disappeared under his sweatpants, but found her progress halted there by his hands.

"Shirt. Off." His words were short and to the point.

Climbing off of him, Kimber pulled her sweater over her head and then tossed it aside. She then pulled off the long sleeve shirt she'd been wearing underneath it, revealing a plain black bra. It wasn't the sexiest bra she owned, but it pushed the girls up and matched the panties she'd packed for the weekend.

"You're beautiful and hot and so sexy I want to fuck you into next week," Chris said as he took in her exposed skin.

In the past, when a lover had complimented her in the moment, she'd felt uncomfortable or shy, but there was something in the way Chris spoke and the way he was looking at her that made Kimber feel beautiful and sexy. She knew, with him, that he wasn't just saying the words to butter her up, he truly meant them.

"You make me feel beautiful and sexy," she told him, meeting his eyes. "And I love that."

Pushing himself up, Chris captured her lips in his for a searing kiss. By the time it ended, her body was humming with pleasure and she didn't care that he had distracted her from her original plan. After all, they had the whole weekend to play. Her eyes followed him as he climbed off of her and started to undress. She followed his lead and removed her bra and panties.

They were both naked, when they came back together. He pushed her back against the pillows deciding it was her turn to the be at the receiving end of the sweet torture she'd shown him earlier. He made his way down her body with his hands and mouth working in concert, his full beard tickling her skin as he went. She arched her back into his touch as he teased her nipples and massaged her breasts with his large hands.

The way his hands touched her became more deliberate, but gentler at the same time as he moved down her torso and past her hips. He eased her legs apart and then teased her sensitive inner thighs before moving his fingers to the velvety folds of her pussy.

Kimber's eyes closed as she lost herself in the pleasure that Chris was giving her. She bit down on her lips as he focused in on her clit and then felt tremors race through her body when his tongue joined in as his fingers slid down and slipped into her heated core. She rocked her hips in time with his digits and cried out as all of his attention sent her over the edge with a powerful orgasm.

As she recovered, she heard him tear open a condom wrapper and then felt him between her legs, a moment later. He slid into her slowly, allowing her body to adjust to his size, until he was in her completely. She wrapped her legs around his and grabbed his ass with one hand as he began to thrust in and out of her. Meanwhile, her other hand got lost in Chris's silky smooth hair as he nuzzled her neck.

Chris's hands started in her hair and behind her back, but as they both grew closer to orgasm, he pulled himself up onto his hands so he was hovering over her. She held onto his ass with both hands as he used the new position to go faster and deeper within her.

He came first, his groan low and drawn out. He lowered himself back on top of her and ground his lower body against hers as he continued moving, wanting to get her off, too. His mouth found hers for a passionate kiss then moved down to one of her breasts.

She became more vocal the closer she got to her release, which only encouraged him. Her body finally tightened from head to toe as she came, crying out and digging her fingernails into his ass as she did so.

Exhausted, Chris slid out of her and got rid of the condom. Then he collapsed next to her and closed his eyes. When Kimber snuggled into him, he wrapped an arm around her, making good on his promise to keep her warm.

Sometime during the night, they wrapped blankets around themselves, but he still used his body to keep her warm. She thanked him the next morning by waking him up with his cock in her mouth. He then fucked her from behind before they climbed down from the loft. She cooked breakfast while he showered and then they ate together with him wearing a pair of boxers and her wearing one of his unbuttoned, flannel shirts.

After eating, she took a shower while he cleaned up the kitchen. Then, once they were both dressed, Chris took Kimber outside to give her a tour of the area surrounding the cabin. They spent most of the afternoon outside, only coming back into the cabin for dinner, before going back outside once the sun had set for some stargazing.

Even though they'd stargazed on a plastic lounge chair while sharing a sleeping bag, they were both chilled when they came back into the house. They wasted no time striping off their clothes and climbing the ladder up to the loft to warm up the old-fashioned way. She was on top of him this time, riding him until they'd both come loudly and were sweaty from their fun.

Sunday morning dawned early and they had sex again before they each took a shower. Then Kimber helped Chris cleanup the cabin, preparing it for the next time someone came to use it. Then they had a quick lunch before getting into Chris's car to return to the city.

It was a bittersweet moment for Kimber when Chris pulled up in front of her place. He parked the car and then helped her carry her stuff up the stairs. He kissed her goodbye and promised to call her later that night.

Collapsing onto the couch, Kimber heard her phone ding and pulled it out of her purse. She smiled when she saw that Allison had texted her.

How was it?

Kimber took a minute to come up with a response then hit send, knowing Allison would call her back immediately.

I had a great weekend away with my boyfriend!

Sure enough, her phone rang a second later and, when she answered it, Allison screamed excitedly. She then proceeded to tell Kimber how she'd know the two of them were perfect for each other since she'd met Chris.

Kimber could only nod in agreement. She was no longer confused about her relationship status with Chris. Now all she had to stress over was the fact that he'd casually mentioned wanting to introduce her to his family. She considered mentioning it to Alison, but decided it was a topic for a different day.

Want to find me off tumblr? I’m @beccatheycallme on twitter. I also post my stories on AO3.

My tag list is always open, just let me know if you’d like to be added!

[trickormemes]

Elijah & Christine sentence starters

195 starters feel free to change gender pronouns content warning: alcohol mention, cussing, drug mention, sexual themes, violence

"I'll fucking kill you, you hear me?! I'll fucking kill you!"

"I just woke up and realized that I got fucking bit by a brown fucking recluse spider, which is my literal biggest fear."

"I actually feel like I'm on the set of Glee right now."

"You're gonna get bullied. Or do the bullying, I don't know..."

"Someone's gonna jerk off to this."

"No, we have to go. No. Come on."

"I don't have a tongue."

"Yeah, I'm pretty gay."

"What if someone's window was down at a stop sign and I screamed at the top of my lungs "Help! Help me, they're trying to kill me!"? What would they do? How would they react?"

"I got my test results back! I'm gay!"

"I peed my pants at the movie theater when we saw the last Lord of the Rings movie because I drank an extra large Mr. Pibb, and it was like a four hour movie, and I didn't wanna miss it so I just peed my pants and I was literally, like... I was like ten years old."

"This should not be on the internet."

"That is a furry butt plug."

"Do you know where vaginas are?"

"Just eat the lube."

"We're not making a fucking sex tape."

"He just called me ugly."

"You are gonna have the cock of a life time."

"I went to the bathroom because I had to poop, but I was pooping so hard I started sweating and I had to get my makeup redone."

"I broke it."

"What is that on your shirt?"

"I feel like Hannah Montana in the beginning of the Hannah Montana Movie where she has to drive the golf cart into the backstage of the stadium to get to hair and makeup on time."

"Finger me with those!"

"_____! Wake the fuck up, you're at a party!"

"Honey, I'm going to fucking Willy Wonka's goddamn chocolate factory!"

"See, bitch? What the fuck I tell you? Willy goddamn Wonka."

"Tell me why it's five o'clock in the morning and you have a fucking tomato on your bed."

"Why do you have hot dogs in your fucking backpack?"

"Look at that little mannequin. Why is he standing like that?"

"I got this pretty sick disappearing act. You wanna see it?"

"What's your social security number?"

"That's not an air horn, that's hair spray."

"Listen, I was told to be a YouTuber all I needed was some fucking Orbeez and a hot knife."

"I post new videos every day because I have no goddamn life."

"You're fucking cleaning these up!"

"I'm gonna throw up my slushie."

"I always knew since the day I was born I was meant to be a goblin."

"A small child just kicked my leg. Not even joking."

"You look like you might get kicked out of a Christian Halloween party."

"I like my women like I like my forks. In my mouth."

"You lost already."

"You walked a whole block and didn't fall over. Good job."

"Eat the booty like groceries."

"You need to go because you don't fucking live here."

"I hope you both fucking fall."

"I'M LEAKIIIINNGG!!!"

"You look like you're fucking dying."

"I got your beef and broccoli right here, baby."

"I feel like I'm in clay-mation. I feel my whole life is in stop-motion. I'm Coraline."

"Yeah, and by 'yeah' I mean 'fuck no.'"

"Get your witch fingers off me."

"You look like Kesha in 2009."

"Nobody here fucking knows you."

"I know in my heart that it isn't true, but it still hurts my feelings."

"_____ just got a Nintendo Switch, uh, so she just... hasn't said a word for the past 48 hours."

"This is some complicated Lego action. There's two fucking booklets."

"Would you fuck like a real—like a life-size Lego person?"

"I would fuck Lego Chris Pratt. I would fuck human Chris Pratt. I would fuck Chris Pratt's horse. I said horse, I meant corpse."

"Not everything is gay fanfiction, _____."

"It's spicy. It got in my eye."

"Oh my god, it's a Valentine's Day card from my grandpa... And he gave me ten dollars!"

"Get up. We're going out to dinner."

"_____, you are the most disgusting person I know, and I just wanna spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"

*rapping* "Rain drop, drop top, he just proposed with a Ring Pop."

"Okay, can you not be... so cute?"

"Why are you smoking weed on the fucking toilet?"

"Bitch, you know this isn't your house, right?"

"I wanna bake fucking weed brownies in an EZ Bake oven, so we're going into Walmart to get an EZ Bake oven."

"A solid substance is definitely not a good substitute for liquid."

"I don't know how to park this fucking car."

"How do you smell like Home Town Pride? What would my— My hometown would smell like stale beer and, like, Cheetos."

"Look, they make personalized candles. Smells like divorce."

"Even I don't know why I did that."

"_____, I'm literally gonna shit myself."

"I know you can't drink anymore. You've had too many shots."

"Oh, I fucking hate you! You bitch! Fuck you!"

"This is so easy. Why do you complain about it? It's not a hard job."

"God is a woman."

"Which side are you trying to fucking get on? Which one?"

"Why the fuck would we smoke weed out of a watermelon?"

"I just made a fucking Pringle bong, bitch."

"I feel like I'm being probed by aliens."

"Do whatever you want to me."

"Make it ten dollars next time, bitch."

"I am shooketh."

"I licked it. I got a little taste."

"It's a fucking cake. Stop calling it brownies."

"Honey, my life's Hell on Earth."

"It's not that fucking deep, it's a video game."

"Why the fuck do you look like a Miami coke-dealer dad right now?"

"Man, I feel like I'm in, like, Sex and the City right now. Like an episode of Girls right now. Like I'm in an episode of, like, Broad City."

"I'm giving _____ 'fuck me' eyes."

"Don't change the song, you're not the fucking DJ. What are you putting on?"

"Why do you know the whole dance?"

"If I croak, you can have my eye balls."

"I'm drunk as shit."

"It's been two hours of this shit. Can you guys just fucking stop?"

"We said we weren't gonna drink tonight, and now we're drunk on these stairs."

"YOU'RE FUCKING TOASTING PIZZA?!"

"You get points on the creativity, but you fucking lost on the execution, BITCH!"

"Get in the fucking car."

"_____, we've been driving for six fucking hours. Where are we going?"

"Quit being such a little bitch."

"I'm filming this. This is a horrible film."

"My drag name is Goblin Breath."

"I bit my swimming instructor in the face."

"Why would I have to be drunk to do that?"

"I feel like three-years-old is a little too old to be biting people in the face."

"That is the most 'you' sentence I have ever heard come out of your mouth."

"COME ON, DRINK UP, BITCH!"

"You're ten shots in already? This is gonna be a fucking disaster."

"I full-on peed my pants."

"_____, the smile you got when you thought you answered that right was pretty amazing."

"How my ass taste, bitch?"

"_____, I don't think you can put a dildo on top of Christmas tree. It's really weird."

"Okay, I'm not sure if it's historically accurate, but I'm pretty sure Jesus would puke too."

"If you fuck this up, I will JFK you."

"Why am I fucking trusting you to do this?"

"I'm still drunk, but today's another day, you know?"

"Can you hold it together for two fucking minutes?"

"I can't hold it together for three fucking seconds."

"Sorry you're low-key ugly."

"Hey, baby girl, you high as fuck."

"Someone's gonna Photoshop a dick in your mouth. And now I just solidified that by saying it."

"This looks like the beginning of a CSI episode where, like, a crazy cat lady gets murdered."

"Didn't I tell you you're not allowed to talk on our vlogs unless your shirt's off?"

"I'll fuck your belly button."

"Why are you still here? You have your own house."

"Honestly, these little dick candies aren't that fucking bad."

"My mom is disappointed in me."

"I got a gingerbread house."

"Aggressive, max. size twelve-inch—sounds good!"

"Your math probably isn't off, but like, your morals are."

"Oh look, another sad kid in a black hoodie."

"I built a little ball pit to smoke weed in."

"I'm the Rachel Ray of alien egg-laying dildos."

"Are you using a marker to stir it? There's literally spoons over there."

"Let's keep it PG, please."

"If you spit in my mouth I will murder your family. I will murder your entire family. I will gut you and feed you to the birds."

"Okay, the three things I hate: heights, small spaces, and you."

"Why are you the adult Honey Boo Boo child?"

"Do I need this? No. Do I want it? ...Also no."

"You better stop it, you're gonna give me a little chub."

"This is why people think we're dating all the time."

"This is supposed to be bottomless mimosas. I can clearly... I can cleary see the bottom."

"If I don't get married in the next five minutes I will riot."

"This is the most action I've gotten in years."

"Already spilled... literally ten seconds into my meal. Awesome."

"I don't even know what I said. I don't know what I'm saying right now."

"That ruined my life."

"The taste is good, the texture is like eating your grandpa's ballsack."

"The world would be a better place if everybody just pissed their pants."

"I'm not even gonna try because I know the answer's no."

"I mean, I'm seeing it right now and I'm underwhelmed."

"You're a walking fucking disaster."

"Take a bite. Get ready to have your world rocked."

"I HOPE YOU BREAK UP!"

"You look like a fucking glazed donut, honey."

"Ew, ew, oh my god, there's children, ew!" *gags*

"Not the first time I've ruined a party because I was naked and screaming."

"That used to be a [insert restaurant name] and I almost fought a girl in the parking lot once. But she didn't show up."

"Oh my god, that's dark. Why did you laugh?"

"This show's not for free, honey."

"Why is your brain full of so much useless information?"

"Why did you just call Mr. Krabs by his first name?"

"It tastes like a Starbust for your dick."

"No one wants to fuck you. Sorry."

“Like the most basic law of human nature. Everyone knows that... bagels are straight.”

“Recreate the Friends intro right now.”

“GO! YES! BITCH! GET IT!”

“I got this soda from a gas station-truck stop, and apparently it’s soda that makes you horny.”

“I need two pasties for one nipple because my nipples are so big. Like, this big. They’re, like, not pepperonis, they’re like salamis.”

“I’m, like, livid. I cannot believe you don’t have a phone case right now. What is wrong with you?”

“The horny soda! I’m horny now!”

“I feel like I’m in a romantic comedy.”

“We’re gonna fucking die out here. It’s like The Hills Have Eyes.”

“We’re stranded in the desert... Well, at least we’re together.”

“At least friendship doesn’t overheat.”

“My conditioner opened in my backpack and now it looks like there’s cum on all my clothes.”

“Trying to get laid is so fucking annoying.”

“See, if you get an Audi and you drive it off the lot, it depreciates immediately. Chanel doesn’t depreciate. I can sell this in ten years.”

“I’m having a quarter-life crisis.”

“Why am I out of breath?”

“How do you fit two penises in one hole?”

“You were just crawling naked on the ground. Why would you do that?”

“It’s 7:30 in the fucking morning. Go back to sleep.”

“Does it hurt for water to become ice? You’re changing your molecular composition. Like... you’re probably gonna experience some discomfort.”

“Are you gonna cry now? What is going on?”

“I have not looked this shitty in so long.”

“I feel like I got hit by a fucking bus.”

“Run ‘em over.”

“Why are there ghosts in my fucking apartment?”

“If I wanna sit on the grass and feel the uneasy presence of ghosts, I would just go to my grandma’s house.”

“I’m like a surprisingly good cook for somebody whose method of cooking is just putting everything in a pan and hoping for the best, but it works out, like, nine out of ten times.”

“I flake on people, I’m sorry. I’m also a bad texter.”

[wellesleyunderground]

Patriot Act reviewed by Lakshmi Gandhi (@LakshmiGandhi) & Asha Sundararaman ‘04 (@mixedtck)

This review first appeared on Lakshmi and Asha’s weekly newsletter - sign up here to get these gems delivered straight to your inbox! 

The second we saw the first previews for Hasan Minhaj's new Netflix show "Patriot Act" we knew that this would be a very Indian American (and Muslim American show).

The first extensive preview for it absolutely blew up Twitter and Facebook because it featured Hasan and Queer Eye star Tan France as they talked about clothes, being immigrant kids and (of course) how they handle people who bungle their names. As the name suggests, Patriot Act also does not shy away about what it is like being a young Muslim American in today's United States.

As big fans of Minhaj's work on the Daily Show and his one man special ‘Homecoming King,’ we were eager to see what he'd do with a show that was completely his own.

(Editor’s note: We also wanted to say that we’re thinking of all of our readers in Calfornia who are affected by the recent fires. For those looking for how they can help, we suggest heading here and here.)

Lakshmi: I've watched that little preview with Tan at least ten times. I still love it EVERY TIME I queue it up.

Asha: You know, I haven't actually watched the preview. It made the rounds on my Facebook feed but I never clicked on it.

Lakshmi: I can see that. As soon as I saw people oohing and ahhing over it I was skeptical because my heart is sometimes made of stone when it comes to these things. But OMG it's so good! They managed to turn it into something really endearing. (Readers can see for themselves how endearing it is by heading here!)

There were a bunch of little interesting bits in that segment with Hasan and Tan. I liked how Tan basically says he changed his name because no one could handle Tanvir (Plus, he is married to a dude named France, which is where his surname comes from. His name at birth was Tanvir Safdar.) But it made me really want a show where we just see Tan and Hasan go shopping all day. it would be a great buddy comedy.

Asha: It would be! OK, I’m watching it now. I like the quote about looking like he's a Rajneeshee.

Lakshmi: I loved how easily Tan cut the hoodie to make a perfect crop top. That's skill!

Asha: I know! I was impressed.

Lakshmi: There really was so much to love. For example, Hasan says he only styles his hair with tel (coconut oil) and prayer. I think the reason the South Asian corners of the internet in particular loved this trailer was because there was absolutely no pandering. It was just two South Asian Muslim dudes being South Asian Muslim dudes. While there were little explanatory asides (they did explain what tel was), it did feel as if we got a little peek into what they are like away from the cameras and the white gaze. To manage to do that with cameras everywhere during what is clearly a promo video is an art.

Asha: Haha, agreed.

Lakshmi: And it was a perfect lead in to the actual show because Hasan felt as if he was talking directly to a South Asian and/or Muslim audience at times,but in a way that also felt inclusive?

It's hard to explain, but there were a bunch of little things that he never did on the ‘Daily Show’ and that would be really hard to do on network tv.

Asha: What jumped out at you in that way?

Lakshmi: For example, there was a whole discussion about the lota (which is a cup in the bathroom used for personal washing). I thought that whole bit was a bit much to be honest, but you don’t see that kind of thing on other shows!

More extensively, it happened when when he talked directly to Asian Americans during the Affirmative Action episode (Which is episode two). You don't see anyone ever talking directly to Asian Americans, especially in comedy.

Asha: It's true. It did feel like he was speaking to a brown audience directly without worrying about whether white people would understand. I admit, i'd never heard the word lota before. I knew what he was talking about, but i didn't know there was a word for it!

Lakshmi: And! I feel like (this isn't the case with Hasan ever that I’ve seen) but a lot of South Asian comedians are pretty anti black in their acts

Asha: Yes, that’s also true.

Lakshmi: so to have a comedian actually call out anti black racism is quietly a big deal

And of course this isn’t limited to comedy. No one talks about anti blackness in the community in general. It's swept under the rug A LOT (not by your two correspondents, dear readers- — we yell at people!)... but that's why we aren't particularly popular at parties.

Asha: HA.

Lakshmi: But really, it’s true.

Asha: The whole segment he did calling out terrible Indian-Americans definitely felt like an in thing. Because as people who are underrepresented, we bristle when the terrible people in our communities are called out.

Lakshmi: it's our own version of 'a shanda fur di goyim."

Asha: the only thing i'd wished in that segment was that he'd specified American-born vs naturalized. I don't know why, but i feel like someone like Dinesh D'Souza needs to be called out for their shit in a different way than Bobby Jindal.

Lakshmi: Oh really? I feel like Bobby Jindal is actually worse. First he actually had power. And secondly, he's from here and is a trained scientist and doctor.

Asha: i definitely think it's worse when they're born in the States

Lakshmi: Yes. His state is extremely vulnerable to poverty and global warming and he doesn't care.

But anyway, I liked the Amazon episode of Patriot Act especially watching it now in light of today’s news about the new Amazon HQ2 or whatever they are calling it in Long Island City.

Asha: Oh yeah, that one was really good! I learned a lot about Amazon's reach. I had no idea they did web services!

Lakshmi: I only knew that because I've worked with sites that work use Amazon web services extensively.

Asha: also, what Amazon did should be illegal. He talked about how they purposefully losing money so they could benefit later.

Lakshmi: And also imagine being the richest person on earth, but not letting your employees go to the bathroom. he isn't letting them take care of the most basic of human needs!

Asha: i assume Jeff Bezos is a sociopath and possibly a grifter. He's gamed the system in a similar way to Trump in terms of being able to lose a lot of money without it affecting your bottom line.

Lakshmi: And if you look up workplace injuries that regularly occur in Amazon warehouses, it's all horrific. There's no reason for all of this suffering.

Asha: None at all. And i've heard those that work on the corporate side of Amazon don’t have it much better (although at least they can go to the bathroom). i'm definitely not renewing my Prime account

and I make a concerted effort to shop other places.

Lakshmi: Yeah, I think I am going to completely change my consumer relationship with Amazon moving forward. Did you watch the latest ‘Patriot Act’ episode, which is about oil?

Asha: I did! It especially relevant to me, since i'm an oil brat.

Lakshmi: I didn't know that there has been an ongoing oil spill for almost a decade!

Asha: I didn't either.

Lakshmi: Also I appreciate that Hasan could do that episode because he doesn't have to worry about advertisers. No one on Network television could tweet this, for example:

Now is the time to talk about America's obsession with oil and the impact it will have on future generations. This is a problem with a deadline we have to address.

Asha: Yep.

Lakshmi: Also (and this isn't particularly a secret because people like Chris Hayes have tweeted it) but discussions about global warming don't get ratings. People literally turn off the TV when it's discussed so it is also bold to devote an episode to it.

Asha: In some ways you can take more risks with a show on Netflix. I think people are more invested.

Lakshmi: Yes and it's a given that your audience will be much smaller. but hopefully they will also be more devoted.

Asha: Right.

Lakshmi: That's the one thing I'm worried about though in terms of this show. weekly news/comedy shows haven't been doing well on Netflix. Chelsea Handler’s show was cancelled after a year. Michelle Wolf only lasted a season. So I'm worried about this show just because the track record is not there.

Asha: well, this one seems be more in the style of a one-man show.

Lakshmi: But also, it’s hard to find! Yype Hasan Minhaj into netflix and Patriot act is the SECOND result, after ‘Homecoming King.’ Never underestimate people's laziness… if they can’t find it right away, they might not watch!

Asha: Haha. I think number five in the article you linked above is key. If it's on the homepage, then it will get more traction.

Lakshmi: Yeah, but I don't think it's been on the homepage when I have logged on?

Asha: I think it was in my case, but i had to scroll. But it might also be because i'd watched it before.

Lakshmi: This point from that Netflix analysis article was also key:

"But even though I was clearly interested in these shows, Netflix rarely if ever recommended them to me. This meant that the weeks when I forgot to check out the latest episode of the shows I was clearly interested in, Netflix never reminded me."

Because people need reminders. with regular TV you have the luxury of it always being there, so the extra step of logging on is a deterent to success for many.

Asha: Yep, especially when there's so much info out there, there's no thought involved. That extra step makes it so hard.

Lakshmi: That's also why I wonder if Hasan will get guests in the future. It's easier to hype something up if there is another person doing it as well.

Asha: True.

Lakshmi: Also, I know this is new to him and that they've already done a twitter video making fun of it but Hasan's pretty jumpy in these early episodes. He talks fast and waves his hands around. Sometimes it’s a lot.

Asha: It's true. It was hard to binge watch because of it (and people are going to be binging).

Lakshmi: I'm hoping that as the season continues he'll start growing into the role and start going a little slower. Because sometimes there are a LOT of in jokes. Anyone who has seen ‘Homecoming King’ knows that he loves basketball and 90s hip hop. He definitely peppers references to both of those things here. But he talks SO FAST that even when I kind of know what he's talking about it's hard to follow on occasion.

Asha: Fair and not everyone is going to process information as fast as he talks!

Lakshmi: Right, and I say this as a fast talker!

Asha: It's A LOT of info packed into less than 30 min.I appreciate how detailed it is.

Lakshmi: I generally have liked the show a lot, but there is definitely a lot of nervous energy. Also, he tried a jacket on in his preview with Tan but he hasn't worn a jacket yet on the show. Hahaha. Do you have a final thought?

Asha: It'll be interesting to see where this show goes.

Lakshmi: Yeah! I've liked it a lot. So I want to see how it (and Hasan) grow in the future.

Asha: And my final, final thought is that "he's so right about toilet paper!"

[theycallmebeccawrites]

Chris & Ellie Series: Episode 7.75

With Tumblr holding my original writing blog @beccaheartschrisevans captive (aka flagged as explicit), I have made a secondary writing blog and may end up closing the other all together. In the meantime, I am reposting all of my stories on my new blog.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Ellie Spencer (OFC)

Rating: PG

Warnings: n/a

Episode Summary: This episode takes place in August 2016.

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

The Chris and Ellie series is primarily chronological.  It begins with a flash forward to 2016 and has a few other scenes in the future.  However, the majority of their story is told in chronological order starting in 2013 and going through 2017. Each episode starts with a date to help you place it within the story.

The Chris & Ellie Series Masterlist | Chris & Ellie Masterlist

Episode 7.5

Episode 7.75: The Olympics

August 10, 2016 Boston, MA

Ellie's phone buzzed, alerting her to a new text message. Grabbing it off of her dresser, she smiled when she saw it was from Chris's sister Carly.

Incoming.

"The kids are on their way," Ellie called to Chris, who was in their bathroom, before she left the bedroom. She made her way to the kitchen and laughed when she found Daisy and Dodger sitting side-by-side in front of the backdoor. "You two know your little humans are on their way, don't you?" Dodger gave a happy bark.

Spotting the kids through the glass in the door, Ellie opened it and let the dogs outside. The dogs raced to their new best friends and shrieks and barks of joy quickly reached Ellie's ears.

Pulling her phone out of her pocket, she took a quick photo and then sent it to Carly as confirmation that her kids had made it from their backyard through the fence into Chris's backyard.

"Hey you guys," she called to the kids and the dog as she put her phone in her pocket. "I thought we were watching the Olympics?!"

The kids ran the rest of the way to the house with the dogs on their heels. She gave her oldest nephew, Ethan, a high five and gave her niece, Stella, a quick hug before turning her attention to the middle child, Miles.

"Hi Auntie Ellie," he said, giving her a big smile.

"Hi Nephew Miles." she replied, ruffling his hair.

Miles had brought her to tears on the night she'd arrived in Boston when he'd called her "Auntie Ellie" for the first time. He had struggled with her name ever since their first meeting due to his speech impediment and he'd called her "E" instead. However, his mom had told Ellie, the other night, that when he found out Ellie was going to be his aunt, he told his mom he wanted to say her name. He'd spent the last six months working extra hard with his speech therapist and practicing her name. Everyone in the family had known about his surprise and had helped him.

"Alright who -"

"I hear little voices," Chris said loudly in a gruff voice from the hall, cutting Ellie off. He stomped his foot against the ground in an exaggerated manner. "Who dare bring children into my house?" He took another stomp.

The kids looked at each other with raised eyebrows and then scattered when Chris roared. The boys ran into the living room and dining room to hide while Stella hid behind Ellie.

Chris stomped into the room and pretended not to see his niece as he looked around the room. "I smell children," he said to Ellie.

"Nope, no kids here," Ellie smiled. "You might check the living room though."

Chris nodded and turned to leave the kitchen.

"HE'S COMING!" Stella yelled out a warning to her brothers.

"Ah ha! A child!" Chris exclaimed, spinning around. He grabbed Stella and tickled her as she squealed in delight. He tucked her under his arm like a football and sniffed the air. "I smell little boys."

Ellie shook her head as she followed Chris as he stomped into the living room. She wasn't sure who liked the gate between his backyard and his mom's backyard more: Chris or the kids.

"Let go of our sister, you monster!" Miles shouted at Chris. He and Ethan grabbed Chris's legs and "forced" him to the ground.

While Chris, Stella and the boys wrestled on the floor, Ellie took a seat on the couch and turned on the TV. A few minutes later, Stella snuck away from the rough housing and climbed into her lap.

"Ok! Ok!" Chris cried out breathlessly. "I'm done! No more!"

His nephews eyed him skeptically. They'd clearly fallen for this trick too many times.

"You're all done for today," Ellie said, firmly. She gave Chris a look.

"Aunt Ellie is right," Chris said, holding his hands up. "What type of Olympians are we today?"

"I'm a boxer!" Ethan declared, jumping into a boxing stance. He threw a couple punches into the air then pretended to dodge one.

"I'm a swimmer," Mile said. He then pretended to swim around the room.

"And what are you, Stel?" Chris asked as he sat down on the couch next to her and Ellie.

"'Nastics!" Stella exclaimed.

"You said that yesterday," Ethan pointed out.

"That's ok," Ellie smiled, smoothing her hand over Stella's hair. "Gymnastics is fun to watch, isn't it?" Stella nodded.

"Uncle Chris, how come you aren't wearing USA stuff?" Ethan asked. "Don't you like Team USA?"

Chris smiled as he took in their appearances. His nephews were wearing their 4th of July 2016 Old Navy shirts and jean shorts while Stella was wearing a red, white and blue sundress. Ellie had gone all out wearing a pair of blue drawstring shorts and wearing a shirt that had "GO! TEAM USA" on it.

"I'm Captain America," he said. "It's kind of obvious that I love Team USA."

"Aunt Ellie, tell him he has to wear a USA shirt, too," Miles said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Ellie had to bite her lip to keep from snickering. She cleared her throat and then said, "Miles, it's up to Uncle Chris whether or not he wears a Team USA shirt. But maybe if you ask him really nicely, maybe he'll go put on the t-shirt I bought for him."

Four sets of doe-like eyes turned on him and Ethan said, "Uncle Chris, will you please wear a Team USA shirt like us?"

Chris looked at Ellie and shook his head. "I'll be back," he sighed. Getting up, he went back to the bedroom and put on the red "Team USA" shirt Ellie had brought him. He changed t-shirts and then returned to the living room.

The boys had joined Ellie and Stella on the couch and they were all watching the Swimming preliminaries. With the boys sitting on either of Ellie and Stella on her lap, Chris picked Miles up and held him upside down as he sat down on the couch next to Ellie, he then righted his nephew and tucked him next to him.

Episode 8

Want to find me off tumblr? I’m @beccatheycallme on twitter. I also post my stories on AO3.

My tag list is always open, just let me know if you’d like to be added!

[theycallmebeccawrites]

Chris & Ellie Series: Episode 11.5

With Tumblr holding my original writing blog @beccaheartschrisevans captive (aka flagged as explicit), I have made a secondary writing blog and may end up closing the other all together. In the meantime, I am reposting all of my stories on my new blog.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Ellie Spencer (OFC)

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: graphic sex, oral sex

Episode Summary: This episode takes place in December 2016. Chris & Ellie spend some time alone with his family in the mountains.

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

The Chris and Ellie series is primarily chronological.  It begins with a flash forward to 2016 and has a few other scenes in the future.  However, the majority of their story is told in chronological order starting in 2013 and going through 2017. Each episode starts with a date to help you place it within the story.

The Chris & Ellie Series Masterlist | Chris & Ellie Masterlist

Episode 11

Episode 11.5: Winter Wonderland

December 23, 2016

Chris stomped the snow off of his boots before he ended the small guest cabin that he was sharing with his fiancée Ellie. They had come with his mom, siblings and their niece and nephews for a snowy Christmas getaway and the rest of the family was staying in the main house.

The entire family had spent the morning playing in the snow, but after lunch, Ellie had retired back to their cabin to warm up while he had stayed outside playing with his nephews and niece. He and Scott had taken them to a tubing park up the mountain from where they were staying and they'd all had a blast. Now, with an hour or so until dinner, Chris was back at the cabin to get warm, change clothes and rouse Ellie for dinner at the main lodge.

Not wanting to track snow into the main part of the cabin, Chris sat down on the bench in the mudroom and pulled off his boots. Then he stood and peeled off his jacket, snow pants and all of his other layers. He hung everything up to dry and then grabbed a hand towel from the stack of extra towels and covered his penis with it before he entered the heart of the cabin.

"Honey, I'm home," he called as he closed the mudroom door behind him. He smiled when he saw Ellie stretched out on their bed with a throw blanket over her and a fire roaring in the fireplace.

"And naked," Ellie smirked, looking up from the Kindle she was reading from.

Chris flashed his penis at her and then smiled as an idea came to him. Instead of going into the bathroom for a hot shower, he dropped the towel then ran over to the bed and jumped onto it. Ellie squealed as he pulled her against his cold body.

"Chris! You're freezing!" she cried, attempting to free herself.

"You should warm me up then," he replied, tucking his cold nose into her neck.

"I hate you," Ellie laughed as his cold hands slipped under her throw blanket and up and under both her 'Love' sweatshirt and the grey t-shirt she wore under it. "Damnit, Chris! I was finally getting warm!"

"So you know how dire it is for you to help warm me up," he replied. "You know you want to." He pressed his cold lips against her neck.

"You sure you can get it up?" she teased.

"Oh, I can always get it up for you," Chris replied. He pulled the throw blanket off of her and then tossed it onto the floor. He slid his cold hands back up under her shirt and growled when he discovered she was wearing a bra. Pulling back, he took in her fleece pajama pants, socks and slipper boots and shook his head. She was even wearing a beanie with a pompom on her head. "Too many clothes."

"It's cold outside," she stated. "I needed warm layers."

"I know it's cold out there," he pouted. "I need you to warm me up." He smirked at her when he saw her waver. "Besides, we both know why you're reading here in our cabin and not with mom at hers." He grabbed the Kindle before she could get it. "Uh huh! I knew it! Dirty books!"

"Give it back!" she exclaimed as he stood up on the bed.

"Let's see what you're reading, fiancée of mine," he said. He cleared his throat and then began to read. "'Well, you’re being punished so no touching,' she said, grinding her ass into his crotch." His eyebrows rose. "Oh we're getting to the good stuff!!!"

"God, he loved this game," Chris read aloud. "He slid his hands up the outside of her thighs and was rewarded with a hard smack to the forearm. 'I will get the handcuffs.'" His held the Kindle out of Ellie's reach as he smiled down at her. "This is some kinky stuff, El."

"It's from a new author I'm working with," Ellie replied as she too stood on the bed, her hands planted on her hips. "Will you please give me back my Kindle?"

"You're really cute when you stand like that," Chris smirked as he plucked the beanie from the top of her head. "You're really cute all the time." He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her to him. He leaned down and captured her lips. She hesitated at first, but eventually gave into his kiss.

"Why are we still standing on the bed?" she asked, breathlessly, a moment later.

"Good question," Chris replied. He let himself fall back onto the bed and reached over to pull her down, but she stepped out of his reach. Eyebrows raised, he set her Kindle onto the bedside table and when he looked back at her, he saw her pulling her sweatshirt and t-shirt over her head, revealing a grey sports bra.

Ellie smirked when he whistled at her and she tossed her shirts over his face. While his face was covered, she quickly pulled her bra over her head and tossed it onto floor. She was untying the strings of her pants by the time he managed to uncover his face. She winked at him and then squealed when he grabbed the material of her pants and yanked them down.

Shaking her head, she lowered her panties and then plopped down onto the bed next to him, quickly chucking her underwear, pants, socks and slippers before she crawled over to him.

"That wasn't my first dirty book of the day," she informed him as she wrapped her hand around his quickly hardening cock. "That author, Alison, has many naughty books. It's kind of her thing." She ran her palm over the tip of his cock, spreading precum down the sides. "I was planning on jumping your bones tonight after dinner, but I suppose now is as good as later."

"I vote for both," he said, cockily. He moaned as she licked his cock from the tip down to the base. He reached for the back of her head as she slid him into her mouth and began to suck. "Fuck, Ellie."

Letting go of his cock with a pop, Ellie smirked as she climbed up his body. She pressed her lips against his and smiled against his lips when he flipped them over so he was on top. He made his way down to her pussy and groaned when he could feel the heat radiating from her core. He breathed in her desire and couldn't deny himself another minute without her taste on his tongue.

She mewed as his tongue lapped at her labia and she grabbed his hair when he teased her clit. Her fingers fisted in his hair as he slipped a finger into her and curled it up to reach her G-spot. Thanks to the build up from her naughty reading and his specialized attention, it wasn't long before her body tightened and then shuddered as she came.

Needing to be in her, Chris moved up her body and slid his aching cock into her cunt. Knowing they didn't have much time left, his movements were fast and furious. As he thrusted, her fingers slipped between their bodies and she began to touch herself, letting her fingers ghost over his body every now and then.

He came first, shooting his seed deep into her. He held himself in her for an exaggerated minute, trying to catch his breath, and then began to move again, trying to help her out. It took another minute or so, but she soon peaked, filling their small cabin with her cries.

Sweating, Chris collapsed onto the bed next to her as his chest rose and fell quickly.

Ellie cuddled against his side and they laid there until her cell phone began to ring. Reaching over, she raised her eyebrow when she saw it was his mom. She cleared her throat and then answered it, "Hi Lisa." She listened as her future mother-in-law talked and gave Chris a raised eyebrow as she learned that dinner was about to start. "We'll be there shortly."

She hung up, a couple seconds later, after saying goodbye to Lisa and then hit Chris with a pillow. "They're all waiting for us to come up for dinner!" she exclaimed. "And we smell like sex!"

"Like really good sex," Chris smirked then laughed when Ellie slapped his arm with her bare hand.

"Get up!" she ordered as she got out of bed. She went to her suitcase to look for clothes and growled when she felt him wrap his arms around her waist.

"I love you, Ellie," he whispered against her neck. "You're just so irresistible that I can't help myself sometimes."

"I love you, too," she replied. "But you still have to get dressed. I'm hungry and we don't have any food in our cabin."

It took them about ten minutes to get dressed and bundled up for the short walk to the main house.

"I don't know about you, but I'm definitely going to need to be warmed up again after dinner," he teased. "Maybe we can read more of that book."

"We'll see how you behave at dinner," she replied, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "If you're a good boy, I might break out the handcuffs."

Chris stopped walking, forcing Ellie to stop too. "Wait, you brought handcuffs?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out," she replied with a wink. "Now let's get out of this cold before any of your important bits freeze and fall off!"

Episode 12

Want to find me off tumblr? I’m @beccatheycallme on twitter. I also post my stories on AO3.

My tag list is always open, just let me know if you’d like to be added!