#send this to my psychiatrist <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[titiinof]

sometimes i’m trying to fall asleep and my brain is like “and this is when, through the magic of the internet, i met phil. and obviously we were more than friends. this is someone that genuinely liked me. i trusted them. and for the first time since i was a tiny child, i actually felt safe. and the relationship we formed at that point was something that i needed in my life. we are real best friends, companions through life, like actual soulmates, not that souls are a real thing that exist. it’s so lucky to just find someone you can be that compatible with and especially to anyone that has experienced the kind of self-hatred that i have dealt with, one person accepting you can make all the difference.”

[itsays]

ok guys i have an announcement. i will tell my psychiatrist on our next session that im ready to quit my meds but not therapy

[albonium]

being treated as a criminal every time i have to get my meds at the pharmacy isn't fun

[leadendeath]

just asked a question to the adhd clinic i’m planning on going to eventually, trying to clarify prices

[ctrlsht]

Fragment of the Past 03

pairing: patient!jungkook x psychiatrist!reader genre: thriller & yandere au

summary: You are a well-known and respected psychiatrist and author. You start treating Jungkook, who suffers from PTSD after surviving an extremely traumatic incident. As you help him confront his traumatic past, he begins to act strangely, and you start uncovering something about him that will change everything.

chapter summary: You thought that you could finally escape from Jungkook but little did you know that he has something more to hold against you. You endure everything that he did to you but he was too much until you can no longer take him anymore.

chapter warnings: hazing, fraternity, blackmailing, manipulation, smut, non con/dub con, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), mc was traumatized, stalking, murder, major character death word count: 11.3K

parts: (1) | (2) | (3)

note: This fiction will contain multiple mental disorders and psychology facts. I conducted my own research to avoid spreading misinformation, but there may be aspects I've overlooked, so I am open for any corrections.

"Why are you here? Aren't you aware of the restraining order?" You threw your pen on the table and stood up from your seat, while a sinister smile curled his lips. He continued to take a step towards you and you immediately pushed the buttons that connected to the reception desk. He only laughed before he spoke.

“It’s 9 in the evening, Y/N. No one’s here except for the both of us.” His words send shivers down your spine.

He was right, Soyeon and your other colleagues went home 3 hours ago and you’re the only one left inside. 

You love to overwork but right now, you wish that you just continue working at home. 

He’s going to kill you before the night ends. You’re sure of it. 

You reach your phone with a shaking hand as you scroll to your contact list and click Detective Jung’s number. 

“Who are you going to call? Detective Jung?” His words were like whispers from the depths of darkness.

Detective Jung isn’t answering your calls. 

“You’d be arrested once you come near me.” You tried to threaten him, but it only sounded like a joke to him.

He took a seat in his usual position as he intertwined both of his hands.

“I commend you for your cleverness when you ask for a restraining order against me,” He crosses his legs and touches his lips. “Unfortunately for you, it won’t stop me from attending our sessions."

“It’s my first time attending an evening session, is it also your first time, Dr. Y/N?” He said with a malevolent grin stretched across his lips.

“I swear, before the sun rises tomorrow, you’d be arrested.” You spoke, clenching your jaw. 

“With how fast you climb to the top, I thought you were smart, Y/N. But I was wrong.” He pokes the inside of his cheek as he smirks. “You should know by now the reason why I’m not in jail for killing my mother.” 

You weren’t able to respond, like a cat caught your mouth. 

“I thought that you’ll do great in kicking me out of your life so I came prepared. I even thought that you’d approach a different detective for this one, and fortunately, you still decide to approach Detective Jung.” He pauses to let out his laughs. “Don’t you know that he was the reason why I’m still free? He’s my best friend, Y/N!” A sinister laugh erupted from his throat as your body started to shake. 

“I even came up with a plan with my lawyer if ever I was arrested but damn Y/N, I somehow wish that you give me a thrill. You made my life easier than I expected.”

As he said those words, your legs turned to jelly, and a tightness gripped your chest. 

You’ve underestimated him and his power and now, your life's on the line. 

“Go ahead and ruin my reputation. Upload those recordings online, I don’t care anymore. I can’t stomach you anymore, Jungkook.” You spoke in a serious tone, before fixing your things.

“Are you sure about that?” He asked, a smile evident in his voice.

“If you think you need to use those recordings to destroy me, feel free to do so. I won't participate in this any longer. I refuse to be a part of your games, Jungkook.” 

“Oh, Y/N.” He sighs before he continues. “If you think that this is all about you, you’re wrong.” He stood up and took out his phone from his pocket. You’re about to go but he thrust his phone in your chest. “Watch it because you’d love to see what kind of a person your best friend really is.” He smirks and you look at his phone. It was a video and you were scared to play it. The thumbnail is Taehyung standing in front of a man with their eyes blindfolded. Taehyung looks so young in here and you aren’t sure what’s happening. One way to find out. 

You wish you didn’t take his phone. You wish that you just proceed on walking out of your clinic, leaving him inside because when you play the video, you immediately hear a painful scream coming from a man. It wasn’t Taehyung who’s screaming, instead, a man was kneeling and bleeding while his eyes were blindfolded, and Taehyung was hitting him with a baseball bat.

Holy shit. 

Taehyung looks so young in the video. His hair was blonde, it’s his hair when he was 17 or 18, as you remember. You can’t believe what you saw. The man that he’s hitting is begging for him to stop but he doesn't. Instead, he hit him harder. 

Your hands were trembling, almost dropping the phone as you stopped the video from playing. 

What was that?

“Why do you look so scared, Y/N? It’s your best friend.” Jungkook slowly took the phone from your hand. 

Your body trembled uncontrollably, fear had taken hold of your very core. You looked at him, shaking your head.

“That’s not Taehyung.” You said.

“Oh Y/N, I wish you’re right, but it was him.” He chuckled. He takes a few steps back and places his right hand on his pocket as he scrolls to find something on his phone. 

When he finds it, he shows his phone once again. You were confused because it’s a group of male people and when he noticed your confusion, he zoomed the screen and you saw Taehyung in the photo.

“He’s part of underground society way back before he was an artist and that's when I knew him, Y/N. He was one of the people who performed the initiation rites for the new members, and that video you just saw? It’s what he does for the society he’s in.”

You can’t believe it, you refuse to believe it. Taehyung won’t do that. He won’t harm—

“Why do you look so shocked?” He asked with a grin on his face, mocking you. “You should know that, as his best friend.” 

“That’s not him.” You said, trying more to convince yourself. “Taehyung can’t do that. He won't take part in that kind of behavior.”

“Then you don’t really know your friend.” He placed his phone back in his pocket. “Stop being too naive, Y/N. Everyone has their own secrets to keep.” 

“Do you really think that I would believe you? Whatever shit you’re trying to pull, you won’t make me believe you.” You said in your sharp tone.

“But the people will.” He took a step towards you with a smirk on his lips. 

“You may refuse to believe it but the people will. They will believe so easily in whatever’s happening in that video.”

Your heart pounded in your chest, each beat resonating with the intensity of the madness you feel. You never felt this kind of anger before. It’s too much that you wanted to kill him.

“What do you want?! What do you really want!” Your rage erupted like a blazing fire, smacking his chest aggressively. You keep on smacking and pushing him, while he doesn't even show any hint of pain. “Why are you doing this to me!” you shouted, tears welling up in your eyes and when you got tired, your hits became slower until you decided to stop. 

Jungkook held your wrist and looked at your eyes with intensity. You cannot resist him anymore because you’re too tired. 

“What do I want?” He repeated the question while staring at your eyes. “It’s simpler than you think.” His words were soft as a smile formed on his mouth. “I want you, Y/N.” 

You sob before you release your wrist from his grip. “I can’t have another session with you. You’re not cooperating.” You respond, letting out a weary sigh.

“That’s not what I mean.” He shook his head, slowly scanning your face down to your body. “I want you without your clothes, laying down while I am on top of you.”

You immediately shook your head. “No fucking way. I won’t let you do that.” 

“Then you agreed to let me upload your illegal voice recordings with your patients along with the video of your best friend, beating the hell out of an innocent man. I bet the people will love to see what their idol really is, right?”

You’re already bursting out of tears, shaking your head. “Please don’t involve him anymore.” 

“It’s your own fault, Y/N. The only thing that I want is a session with you until I recover, yet you pushed my limits. Now, you have to face the consequences of your actions.” He takes a step towards you, leaning forward to see your face full of tears and wipe them using the both of his finger thumb. You hit his arms and took a step backwards.

“You’re sick.” You turn around to gather your things and when you’re about to leave, he speaks.

“I’m telling you, you don’t want to test me because you wouldn’t like the ending.”

—

That same night, you didn't go home; instead, you went straight to Taehyung's place. He wasn't there because he had a shoot, but you waited. You couldn't wait any longer. You couldn't bring yourself to believe what you had seen unless it came directly from him. You've known Taehyung since birth, and you were certain that the videos and photos you had just seen couldn't be him because you knew he wouldn't do such things.

Yet you don’t understand why you felt betrayed even though you haven’t talked to him.

 When he arrived, that’s the first thing you ask him and it’s too obvious that he didn’t anticipate it. As the longer he can’t respond, the ache you feel worsens.

“Answer me, Kim Taehyung. Are you a member of an underground society?” You repeat the question, emphasizing every word.

“Where did—

“Just answer me!”

Taehyung was taken aback with your screams and a fear is evident in his face. He stood there frozen, unable to move or look away. He sighs before he speaks.

“Yes.”

Your body hunched, eyes closed as a tear streamed down your face. You lowered your body, squatted and your shoulders shook with each shuddering sobs.

“Y/N, w-why?” Taehyung immediately went to you but when his hand landed on your shoulder, you stood up, immediately pushing him away.

“You beat people, Taehyung! You beat them to death, you monster!” 

“Y/N, please let me explain—

“Explain what?! How the fuck you beat them until they die?!”

“It’s not my choice! They were threatening to kill me if I didn’t do what they wanted!”

You glared at him, choosing not to respond. 

“I thought it was a normal organization when I joined but I was tricked! I tried to leave but they didn’t let me and they even threatened to kill me if I reported them to the police! I was just 17 years old at that time, Y/N! I didn’t know what to do!” 

He was trembling as a tear formed in his eyes. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Because I was scared that they would involve you. It’s a trap.”

“So you were still involved with them?” Your voice raised and he immediately shook his head.

“No! I managed to get away when we were caught doing the initiation rite, but I managed to run away without being caught. I wasn’t the one performing the initiation rite during that time so it was easy for me to run away.” He explained.

You only stare at him, imagining the 17-year-old Taehyung standing in front of you. During that time, you don't remember anything that may hint he was in danger. The only Taehyung you saw was the jolly and energetic Taehyung, not knowing that he was facing a dangerous situation.

Little did you know that 12 years from now, you’d also face the same situation like he does.

You took a step towards him and wrapped your arms around him, sobbing uncontrollably. You can’t imagine he faced that problem all by himself at that age. You were supposed to be with him as he faced his battles, but he was all alone. 

“Why didn’t you tell me even after you managed to run away?” You spoke, choked sobs wracked your body as he stroked your back gently. 

“It’s okay, it’s all in the past.”

You were in that position for a few moments until you calmed down. You break away from him and wipe your own tears. 

“How did you find out?” with that, you’re back from reality, the reason why you are here. 

“I saw a video of you beating a man. That’s how I found out.” His mouth hung open as his breath came in short.

“Where did you watch it?”

"An anonymous sender sent me the video. I couldn't bring myself to save the video because I can't bear to watch it again, so I deleted it," You reason out. You can’t tell him the truth because it will only complicate things more. “But I already reported it to the authorities and a security specialist and they guarantee that the person responsible for it will be caught.”

You felt bad for lying but you can’t tell him the truth. It wasn’t a good idea to confront him about this manner in the first place but you were not in your right mind when you decided to go here. You were caught off-guards. 

You just need to make sure that no one will see that video again. How? That’s also something you don’t know yet. 

—

Jungkook hasn’t bothered you lately, and it only worsens your anxiety. You know him and he won’t simply stop. You don’t know what’s his next move but soon, he’ll come after you. 

You always check what’s trending on social media, watching out for any news that can relate to you and Taehyung, but you’ve always found nothing. You even checked on Jungkook’s latest activities on their media pages and there’s nothing suspicious, yet you can still feel the lash that Jungkook tied on your neck.

You’re on your way for a book interview because your newest book entitled ‘The Paradox of Choice’ is about the launch. You’re nervous and you’re overthinking everything without a specific reason why. 

The feeling you felt right now is different from your previous book launching because right now, you don’t feel good. 

Maybe because you've been stressing lately with what’s happening right now or maybe because something is going to happen.

You wish it wasn’t the latter. 

“Three more minutes!” The crew announced.

This book launch is coming along with an interview at an evening talk show. You’ve experienced guesting in several talk shows yet, you felt so anxious that your trembling worsened as the minute passed by.

“Hey, are you okay?” Your assistant held your hand as you stood up. You looked at her and gave her a smile that didn’t reach your eyes.

“Yes, I am okay.” 

As you get closer towards the stage, your heartbeat increases. You pause for a while and take a deep breath, while closing your eyes. 

You can do this.

“Good evening, Dr. Y/N! How are you doing?” Park Jimin—the host asked you with a wide smile on his face.

“I’m great, how are you?” you try to connect the level of your energy to his. 

“I’m great as well! Are you ready? I know you won’t get too nervous since you have been a guest in several talk shows and interviews, right?” Oh, how you wish that’s your case.

“Of course! I look forward to this!”

You had a few talks with Jimin, explaining how the show will flow and you also reviewed the possible questions that he’s going to ask you. You were starting to get comfortable being on the stage. The rolling is about to start when your eyes land on a familiar figure wearing a black hoodie along with a headphone on his head. Your eyes widened in a complete terror, as your pulse raced with each thudding heartbeat.

Jeon Jungkook is here, staring at you with a demonic smile on his face.

“Rolling! We’ll begin in 3… 2… 1.” He was looking at you while he spoke on his headphones. Your surroundings turned into a blur as you felt that every movement was in slow motion. You notice that Park Jimin is already talking with so much energy and you try to wake yourself up.

“What inspires you to write this book? Was there a particular experience or realization that led to its creation?”

You grip your hand to stop its trembling before you answer. “People tend to choose their biggest life decisions when they are in an emotional state, and this book will teach everyone to always think twice or even thrice whenever they make big decisions for themselves. I, myself once experience choosing a decision that I wish I did not choose, and it lend me to regrets, which I don’t want people to experience that’s why I wrote ‘The Paradox of Choice.’” 

You try not to look at Jungkook after you respond but your own eyes are betraying you. There’s a sly smile on his lips as his eyes bore into you. 

You fucking hate it when his eyes are on you.

“How did you research and gather information for your book? Can you describe your process?” You froze on your seat when Jimin asked you that question. Your hands tremble even more, gripping it tightly to stop. You glance at Jungkook who’s standing meters away from you, playing his lips with his fingers. 

You don’t want to answer this because your method of gathering information for your book is what he obviously uses against you.

‘I record the sessions with my patients and analyze it to add an input to the book.’

It was the answer that you cannot say while he’s watching. 

Instead, “I did my own research with the help of my patient’s own experiences.”

Even in your peripheral view, you could still feel his eyes digging into your soul.

Once the shoot is done, you immediately storm out of the stage and lock yourself inside the comfort room for god knows how long. 

You stood before the sink, hands outstretched beneath the gentle stream of cool water pouring from the faucet as it ran down to your hands. 

You slowly rub both of your hands but the trembling of it isn’t stopping. You rub it even further to steady your hands, until you suddenly outburst silently. You can’t scream or cry, and the only thing you can do is endure the anger you feel right now. 

The soft hum of fluorescent lights filled the space with white glow, opposite of what you feel right now. Your hands are still trembling as you look at your face in the mirror. 

You look so horrible. 

When you’re stressed out because of your workloads, you can still appreciate the beauty you have, but right now, you really look so miserable. 

Jungkook is doing his excellent job in fucking you up. 

This is driving you insane. He’s driving you insane. You’re fed up with all of his shit and it’s too much already. You don’t even know what you did wrong for him to do this to you. The only thing you did is help him cope up with his trauma–or more like fake traumas. 

So you don’t know where you went wrong with him. 

Your assistant called your name on the other side of the door, asking if you’re fine which you’re not. You did your best to calm down before you decided to come out. 

It’s almost midnight when you’ve finished packing your things and ready to leave. Everyone’s out already and you don’t know who was left. You’re supposed to go home an hour ago but you choose to rest for a while before you go. 

The basement parking lot was nearly empty when you arrived; not even the guards were visible. But, as you approached your car, you noticed a tall, muscular man standing beside it, wearing a black hoodie, with both of his hands inside his pockets, clearly waiting for you.

He looked up when he noticed your presence, he stood straight, greeting you with a smirk on his face. 

“What took you so long?” Jungkook asked, a sly smile still on his face. 

“What do you want?” You pondered, glaring at him. 

He scoffed, “You always ask the same question over and over even though you already know the answer.” 

You didn’t respond, ignoring him, as you walked towards the driver’s seat but before you even opened the door, he already blocked you. 

“Don’t ignore me while I’m talking to you.” He threatened, eyes buried on you. 

“I have no more business with you.” You answered, passing by him as you opened the front door. 

“As far as I remember, we still have business going on.” He said, provoking you even more. 

You placed down your things on the passenger seat and before you could even hop on, he spoke.

“You’re brave enough to ignore me now. Why? Do you think I’m already done with you?” His voice dripped with a mocking undertone, a wry smirk played on his lips as he spoke.

“Or you’d be glad to see you and your best friend in the news by tomorrow morning?”

You clenched your jaw, glaring at him as you balled your fist. “I’ve already done what you want. I let you continue our remaining sessions but you go beyond that and pester me for almost 3 times a week! What more do you want?!” 

He tilted his head, licking his lips, trying his best to hide his teasing smile. He clicked his tongue before he spoke. “That's the second time you ask that question. Do you have other questions in mind that you’d like to ask?” 

“When will you ever stop?” He instantly laughed at your question. 

“You didn’t even hide the fact that you already want me out of your life.”

“I never try hiding it.”

“You’re becoming stronger and bolder now, Y/N. Well, I prefer this rather than seeing you crying your ass out begging me to stop. Unless, you’re crying as you scream my name.” He wore a suggestive smirk, provoking you even more.

“You’re sick!”

“You’ve been asking what I want and I’ve already told you, Y/N. I hate it when I keep repeating myself. You’re not stupid, you know that.” He arched a brow, a scornful stare bore into you. 

“And you’re delusional if you think I’d agree with that.”

“Then suit yourself and make sure that you won’t regret your decision.” He smirks, biting his lower lips.

“What are you gonna do?” You asked but when he didn’t answer and turned away, you screamed at him. 

“Jungkook, what the fuck are you going to do?!”

He scoffed before he looked back. “You’ll see.”

—

You want to die.

You just fucking want to die and bring Jungkook along with you.

Your emotions churned like a violent sea, a mix of anxiety, anger and fear that threatened to overturn you. Your heart pounded with rage, and your fingers trembled with fear as you held your phone, trying to avoid dropping it.

A video posted on twitter is playing from your phone, a video that you saw a few days ago.

You felt like throwing up when you saw that video again. Taehyung's face is blurred, but you can tell it's him. People might struggle to identify the person beating up an innocent man, but it won't take long for them to figure it out.

‘I wonder if you guys have any hint of who’s that man on the video? I bet you guys know because you love him so much. But I also wonder if you know your idol’s true color.’

The caption says, and the account is made to specifically attack and throw hate to people.

This could be Jungkook, but you weren't certain because he could have asked others to do it to avoid implicating himself. He has a reputation to maintain as well.

101k views, 5k reposts and 26k likes. 

‘Holy shit. Why do I feel like it’s Beom Seok from Horizon?’

‘This should be taken down.’

‘Eun Dae used to be a member of a fraternity before he become an idol lmaooo’

‘Taehyung was also rumored to be part of a frat before but it hasn't been proven yet.’

Fucking hell. Taehyung must know this shit already and you don’t know what to do. It should be taken down but the video was posted 2 hrs ago and you just saw it right now. Even though it was taken down, people already saved it from their devices.

You were still in the middle of breaking down when your phone rang, and when you saw the caller ID, your blood erupted.

It was Jeon Jungkook. You scream on your phone before you decline the call. You were about to turn your phone off when he sent a message that angered you even more.

‘Decline the call one more time, you will see the video again and I will make sure that the face of Taehyung is visible for everyone to know that it’s him.’

Your hands grew cold and started to shake when your phone rang once again. You had been clenching your teeth before deciding to answer the call.

“How are you, Doc?” He greets you in his sweet voice that only annoys you even more. “Do you think that I wouldn’t do it?” He added, releasing a sarcastic laugh. 

“Take it down, Jungkook.” Your words dripped with menace. 

“You’re the one who made me do it. It’s your fault, Y/N.”

“You monster! Why do you have to involve him?! He didn’t even do anything!” You screamed, pulling your hair out of anger.

“I know but you care for him so much. It’s a natural thing to involve him.”

Your tears run through your cheek as you collapse from the ground. You’re starting to lose your sanity. 

“What do you want?” You spoke in a low voice.

“You want to know? Come here at my place and I will let you know, Y/N.”

—

You’ve expected that Jungkook is living in a high end luxurious apartment building but you didn’t expect that it would be in the highest floor, a penthouse. 

Jungkook noted that he left the door unlocked so you can enter without him opening it for you. You were scared of what could happen inside his penthouse given the fact that he’s a dangerous person by murdering his own mother but you’re desperate to stop him. 

Your heart was pounding when you opened his double-door and as expected, it was unlocked.

You are greeted by a huge area of floor-to-ceiling windows that frame breathtaking panoramic views of the whole city lights. The living room is adorned with designer furniture, a monochromatic symphony of blacks, grays, and whites, and a wall adorned with abstract art that speaks Jungkook's taste.

The place is beautiful, opposite to the person living in here. 

“You came.” You immediately turned around when you heard his demonic voice behind. He’s in the corner of the stairs from the second floor as he slowly steps down, hands in his pocket with a smirk on his lips. 

“Take that video down.” You glared, speaking with your teeth.

“Or else, what? Are you going to report me again? ” He stopped in the middle of the stairs, placing his hands on the railings. He scoffs when you don't respond. “You should know by now that it won’t work, Y/N.” He added, continuing to step down. 

“I’m already here, so tell me what the fuck do you want?” You raised your voice, itching to know what he really wants. 

“Why are you in a hurry, Doc?” He was about to touch your face when you blocked his hands, throwing it away.

“Take that video down, Jungkook.” You spoke, trying to contain yourself. 

He smirks before he turns away and takes a step towards his kitchen island, pouring wine on his wine glass. 

"I've already done that for being such a good and obedient girl." He sips on his wine, not breaking eye contact with you. “But I can upload it again if you choose to test my patience.” He adds. You bite the inside of your lower lips to prevent yourself from attacking him. 

“Why did you even ask me to be here?” 

“Didn’t I tell you before? I want you, Y/N.” 

He poured wine in another glass and walked towards you, handling the wine for you, but you just glanced at it and returned your gaze to him.  

“Let’s not waste time and tell me what the fuck you want so I can leave now.” You said in gritted teeth.

“I already told you, so stop being stubborn and drink this wine before I change my mind and upload the video with your best friend's face clearly visible along with the illegal recordings you had with your patient.” In an instant, he shifted from a playful smirk to a sudden seriousness, dropping the playful facade. 

You take the wine in his hands and he asks you to drink but you immediately shake your head. “I’m not going to let you poison me.”

“If I’m going to do that, I already did when I first walked into your office. It’s easier to kill you than to kill my mother, if that’s what you want to hear.” His words sent shivers down your spine, forcing yourself to sip in the glass as the taste of rich, velvety smoothness of the wine caressed your tongue. He smirks when he is satisfied with your sip. 

“See, you’re still alive.” 

He turned around taking a step forward and telling you to follow him, but when you didn’t, he looked back and his unyielding gaze bore into you. “Are you coming or do you want me to drag you from where you stand right now?”

You swallow hard, trying not to prevent yourself from showing any signs of fear, but it was harder than you thought because you’re in his territory. 

“Are you going to kill me?” Your words come out as a whisper but he was able to hear it and when he does, he grins. 

“Why, are you scared?” He took a sip from his wine, eyes fixed on you. “To answer your question, no, I’m not going to kill you.”

“Then where are you taking me?” 

“We’ll have dinner, now start to move before I drag you to the dining table.”

You indeed had dinner with him and several dishes were served on the long table. By just looking at what is served, you immediately remember that you hadn’t eaten anything yet since morning and everything you see is appetizing. The whole dining room was magnificent. The space was bathed in a war, golden glow of crystal chandelier that hung from a high, ornate ceiling. If you were in a different situation, you’d love to stay here.

Obviously, your life’s on the line and you can’t just eat and relax right now. 

“Don’t you like the food? Why aren’t you eating much?” He asked before he took another bite of his steak.

You’ve tasted what’s in front of you and it was so insanely good, but you can’t eat much by just thinking of what situation you have right now. 

"I'm not hungry," you reasoned out, then sipped your glass of water. You glanced around to see if there was anyone else in the vicinity, but you saw nothing, not even maids or cooks. It was the perfect opportunity for him to kill you, with no one else around except the two of you.

“I doubt. I know that you haven’t eaten anything. Go and enjoy your meal. It won’t harm you.” You only stare at your plate, trying to wash away the negative thoughts you have. You took another bite of your steak and you can’t help but to crave more on how it tastes so good. 

“I could tell that you like the steak, but you’re having a hard time enjoying it. I wonder what’s running through your mind.” He placed both of his elbows on the table and intertwined his fingers. 

“Will you let me go after this meal?” Your question made him chuckled, loud and mocking. 

“Here you go again, so desperate to leave me.” He commented, wiping the corner of his lips with a table napkin. 

“If you just tell me what you’re planning to do, then I wouldn’t keep asking you.” You answered, taking a sip of your water. 

“This is the plan you’re asking about. Didn’t I tell you before that I wanted to take you out for dinner to show my gratitude for being my therapist? That’s what I’m doing right now.” He grabs his wine glass and leans back before he whirl the glass, taking a sip from it.

“That’s it? That’s what you want? To take me out for dinner?” You asked like you can’t believe what he just said. 

“Why, what do you expect?” He placed his elbow on the arm rest and played with his lips; the mannerisms he does when he’s enjoying something. 

“You must be kidding me right now. I know you want something more. I know you, Jungkook. I know you.”

“If you claim to know me so much, then you should know that I am serious with what I want from you.” His eyebrow furrowed, gazing at you with intensity. “That’s the problem with people like you. You think too much and it leads you to danger.” He scoffs.

He stood up from his seat and took a step towards you, while you didn’t move an inch from your position. 

“From the moment I walked into your office, I know from myself that I want you. With your long hair falling back beautifully to the tight black dress you wore, I immediately agreed to take the sessions with you.” He stood beside you from your seat, resting his hands on the backrest of your chair while you were there, completely frozen. 

“Hoseok and my lawyer Namjoon told me that I should act like the incident causes me trauma to prevent them from suspecting me to be the culprit. I did not agree because it’s bullshit but they keep on convincing me.” He chuckled as he remembered something. “I planned on attending a single session and I won’t show up again but when I saw you sitting on your office chair with a bright smile on your pretty face, I thought that attending sessions with you won’t be that bad after all.”

He caresses your hair and you try not to flinch, clenching your jaw. 

“I do enjoy the sessions we had because you’re so entertaining to watch. You talked as if you know everything but the truth is, you don’t. I just let you think that way because you’re so passionate about what you do. I don’t want to ruin your ego, Doc.” 

He kept on caressing your hair and when you couldn't take it anymore, you stood up, facing him with anger on your face. 

“I’m done with my meal. I’m going home.” You gazed at him with a piercing stare, picking up your things. 

“You think I will let you leave just like that?” An ominous aura surrounded him when `he spoke. You’re trying to strengthen yourself as you take a step towards the door, but before you even made it, he spoke again. “Get back here, Y/N.” He threatened. 

“Stop playing with me, Jungkook.” 

“Try to take another step and I will make sure that before this night ends, your career is over as well as your best friend’s. You know that I can do it, Y/N. You wouldn’t like to test me again.” A cold, sinister flowed from his voice.

You didn’t dare take another step, afraid of provoking him even more. You hate that he can control you with just the use of his words. You still have the lash on your neck, making him take control over you. 

“That’s right, be the good girl that you are, Y/N.” He said, with a smirk on his lips. He placed his hands inside his pocket as he slowly walked towards you. “I don’t understand why you keep giving me that kind of behavior but you can’t stand by it.” He towered over you and he tried to touch your cheek but before he even did it, you avoided his touch and took a step backward.

He smirks, staring at you before he speaks again. “Even if you try to avoid me, I will still find my way to you, Y/N. If I were you, I wouldn't waste my time doing that.” He walks back to the long table and grabs his wine glass and takes a sip on it without leaving his eyes on you. 

You didn’t move nor say anything, observing his movements. You’re at his territory and you couldn’t risk provoking him because he can do anything to you without the people knowing what’s happening inside his penthouse.

He grabbed the new bottle of wine and opened it, filling up your wine glass, walking towards you, and handling you the glass. You only stare at it and Jungkook gestures to you to take it. 

“Hurry up and get it, Y/N. My arms are starting to numb.” He said and you are left without a choice, so you take the wine from his hands. “Go drink it.”

You look at the wine glass and there are a few bubbles underneath it and you swallow hard before you take a sip from it. 

“Finish it up, Y/N. Don’t make me tell you everything you have to do.”

You wanted to cry but you didn’t let your guards down. You’re starting to regret going here. 

You chug the wine while your hands are trembling and he smiles after you finish it. 

“That’s right, you’re such a good girl.” He took the glass from you and placed it back on the table. 

After a few moments, your heartbeat increases rapidly and your whole body starts to tremble. Jungkook was just looking at you as he enjoyed his wine and you suddenly felt so weak, your head started to ache.

There is something wrong with the wine.

You take a deep breath, fighting the weakness within you. You wouldn’t want to show that you’re getting weak in front of him. You walk back to your seat and grab your things before looking at him.

“I really have to go. I have a lot of things to do.” You spoke in your low voice, being careful of your actions.

Jungkook pouted in a sarcastic way. “There’s no way I’m letting you go.” he answered before he smirked. Your headache worsened but you didn’t show any signs of your weakness.

He walked towards you and you admit that you’re getting scared of what he might do. You step back but there is no more space because the table is already bumping your back. He raised his hand to touch your face once again but you blocked his touch.

And in a snap of a finger, he aggressively grabbed your face using only a single hand and his eyes suddenly filled with darkness. “Stop resisting me, Y/N. You can’t win over me.” He spoke in a low but sinister tone. 

Your limbs trembled uncontrollably, unable to withstand the weight of your fear. After a few seconds of staring at your soul with so much intensity, he already released his firm hold on your face but he didn’t move away. Instead, he slowly traces your face with his fingers.

Your weakness worsens and you can’t move nor think anymore. The only thing you can do is let him touch you.

“I love it so much when the cause of your weakness is me.” 

Your eyes widen as you gasp silently when his lips crushes on you. It was hard and you tried to move away but he gripped your arm, unabling you to move. You were trying to push him but because of your weakness, it didn’t even move an inch. 

“Open your mouth, baby girl.” He commands as he speaks in between his kisses. 

“Jungkook s-stop—

“I told you not to fight me.”

His lips went down on your neck sucking your skin and you used all your strength to push him away but he was too strong. He locked your hand on the table as he shifted his kiss on your lips and neck. Your body is shaking and tears are now flowing from your cheek and when he notices it, he stops, staring at you without removing his grip on your hand from the table.

“If you keep being difficult, I fucking swear that you wouldn’t make it out alive and I will make sure that your bestfriend will fall on the ground so hard that he can never recover.” He whispers in your ear, making you stand frozen with a pounding heart. 

You were too weak to fight and you’re sure that it’s not only because he’s dangerous but there is something in the wine you just drank. 

He stares at your face, like memorizing every feature of it. He lifts his hand, slowly wiping your tears away. He traces your face before he moves closer to peck your forehead. His lips were soft on your skin, but it only sent shivers down your spine.

“You don’t have to be scared because I will bring heaven to you.” He whispers before he sucks your ear lobe. 

He held your waist while kissing you, pushing his tongue inside. His lips were so soft and you could taste the bittersweet of the wine he just drank a few moments ago. His hands were traveling around your body while his lips were still on yours. You wanted to push him and run away but you know that you couldn’t do that because before you even reach his gigantic door, you’re probably dead. 

“Do you know how much I crave for you, huh?” He tried to speak in his desperate kisses as his breath became heavier. “From the first time I step in your office, you never leave my head. You fucking drive me insane.”

He lifted you up to the table as his kisses became aggressive and you were just there, being helpless. 

He cupped the back of your neck as he sucked it leaving a bruise before his hands traveled down to your thighs and caressed them. His hands were burning through your skin and you deny that your body starts to burn as well. He lifts you up and your thighs are in between his body carrying you to an unfamiliar room and the next thing you know, you’re already laying down on a bed. 

Your back slowly touched the soft mattress as he started to crawl on the top of you. Your body is trembling and your heart is beating so fast as he brushes your face with the back of his fingers. 

“This is what I really want, Y/N. Me on the top of you.” The room is dark but you could still see the glimpse of his face with how the moon illuminated the darkness of the room. He gently strokes your face down to your neck, until it reaches your chest. He leans forward and places his ears on your chest, listening to your pounding heartbeat. “Just by listening to your heartbeat is enough for me to get turned on.” He whispers in your ears before he brushes his lips to your neck, immediately feelings his hot and wet breaths. 

Your breath rose when you felt his fingers crawling underneath your shirt, fingers wandering at your bare skin. You suddenly flinch when his fingers rub your breast, making him smirk. “You like it when I touch you like this?” He asked in his low and seductive voice, and when you didn’t respond, his fingers circles your nipples slowly causing you to moan. 

You’re wearing a dress and he slowly lifts the end of it, completely taking your dress off and when he did, he gave a peck on your breast before removing your bra. A sudden sense of unwanted pleasure filled your body as he sucked your left breast while massaging the other one, leaving a tingle on your stomach. It didn’t take long before his lips connected on yours, slipping his tongue, letting out another moan. He moves his mouth down to your neck once again, sucking it while his other hand is trailing down your back.

His fingers travel down on the waistband of your underwear, leaving soft kisses. “I’ve always wondered how your bare body looks, and it’s exactly how I imagine. So sexy and gorgeous.” He played with the waistband of your underwear before he slowly pulled it down, leaving you gasping. 

You’re at the verge of crying when he spreads your legs apart, exposing your bare pussy, leaning down and leaving a kiss on your pelvic bone. You tried to push your body deeper in the mattress to avoid his kisses, but he only grips your hips firmly to prevent yourself from moving. “Stop fighting, Y/N.” He said with a stone voice. 

He leaves a last peck on your pelvic bone, moving down on your clit before he kisses it, leaving you panting. You resist yourself from whimpering but when he slides a tongue on your clit, you groan. You were fighting the pleasure that you felt, but the more he keeps on licking your folds, the more your body burns.

"Fuck baby, you taste just like how I imagined it. So sweet for me."

You were disgusted at yourself for feeling something so good, and disgusted at him for doing this to you. 

“You act like you don’t like what you feel, but with how wet you are, it only proves how you love this so much.” He said—almost sounds like a whimper. Your eyes widened when you felt his fingers circling your clit before he slowly inserted it inside. You moan so loud when he moves his fingers as he licks your clit and you cry with the burning sensation radiating to you. 

You weren’t a virgin and you’ve hooked up several times, yet you can’t admit it to yourself that he was doing good eating you out. 

“No matter how you say that you hate me, your body will never lie.” He whispers, as he drag his finger inside and out in a quicker motion. 

No matter how you stop yourself from moaning, that sound escapes your mouth. 

Pain leaves you when he pulls his fingers and when you look at him, he removes his shirt revealing his chiseled and sculpted body. He leans forward to slide his fingers inside your mouth, letting you taste yourself before he slides his tongue. A moan escaped you when he rubbed his fingers on your clit, feeling your wetness, before he inserted his finger once again. 

You’re trying your best not to let out another moan but your body is betraying you because you were moaning in between his lips that you could feel his smirk. 

“Don’t be hard on yourself and let yourself enjoy it, baby girl.”

After a few moments of him fucking your pussy with his fingers, your whimper as you reached your orgasm. You shred a tear when you realize how your own body betrays you. 

He withdraws his fingers as he continues to suck your neck while his hands are circling to your waist down to your hips and grinding his body on you. He then pulls himself to take off the pants that he’s wearing as your body starts to tremble.

You stare at his movements as he pulls down his pants and you gasp when he pulls it down, completely exposing dick. 

His huge, holy shit.

He strokes it and it arouses you even more. You hate yourself right now more than you hate him because you can’t believe that you’re craving it. 

“Please Jungkook, don’t.” Your voice quivered with desperate pleading.

“Stop acting that you’re not enjoying it because your body says otherwise.” He scoffs before he kneels in between your body and pumps his dick, gripping it tightly.

“Spread your legs for me, baby girl.” He commands as he parts your legs. Your eyes widen when you feel that he’s rubbing his dick on your folds as your wetness overflows and a moan is released on your lips. 

“That’s right, moan for me.” He said, almost sound like a whimper teasing you even more and it didn’t take long when he slid his dick inside you making your nails buried on his back. 

“Fuck Y/N, you’re so tight!” He moaned as he went deeper. He placed his hand on your back and a pain filled you when he dug deeper. He was sucking your neck as he kept thrusting in and out. You were pulling his hair, as he groaned on every thrust he made. He stops from time to time to suck your nipples and kiss your lips, making you moan continuously. 

"You're taking me so well, fuck. That's right, take me so well."

You’re starting to cry with the unwanted pleasure you feel but Jungkook only kisses your tears away. And with a hard thrust, you’re about to come. Your breath comes out heavily as you keep on whimpering with every thrust he does. Jungkook curses, his thrust becomes harder and you start to tremble.

“Yes baby, cum all over me and show me how much you enjoyed this.” His words almost sound like a whimper and it only motivates you to reach your second orgasm. 

And when you did, you cried louder as he thrust harder and deeper for the last time. 

—

You were lying on his bed without your clothes, while he was beside you, sleeping peacefully as if he hadn't disrespected you an hour ago. His bed was the softest and most comfortable you had ever experienced, its softness enveloping your body in a gentle embrace. However, all you could feel was disgust and anger at what he had done to you.

 You should be running right now but your body froze and you can’t move them even an inch. It happened three times in a row, and you've been begging him to stop, but he doesn't listen, as if he were possessed by a devil. He's already a monster himself, but you didn't anticipate him forcing you to comply. Most especially, you loathe yourself because your body responds to his desires, leading him to believe that you genuinely enjoy what he's doing, but in reality, you're horrified.

The room is dark, and the moon casts its enchanting glow upon it. You're gazing at the full glass window, where the distant city lights flicker in the distance. An emotional numbness envelopes you, leaving you unstable and broken.

You slowly turn towards the person beside you, and as expected, he's asleep. You can't believe how different he appears when he's sleeping, nothing like the person you know. Instead, he resembles a man who wouldn't harm a soul when his eyes are closed. However, the burning anger you feel hasn't subsided. You can never forget what he has done to you. 

The anger surged within you and you wanted to lash out, to make him feel the same pain he has caused you. You clenched your fist and the thought of killing him gnawed at the edges of your sanity. 

You looked around to find something to protect yourself from him. Slowly, you raised yourself from lying down, careful not to make any movements that might wake him up. With trembling hands, you reach your dress from the floor and put it on before scanning the room.

You've been here for quite some time, but this is the first occasion you've had to observe his entire room. As expected, his room is quite spacious, yet you can't discern the color of the walls as darkness covers the entire space. Your eyes catch a glimpse of a chest of drawers in the corner of the room, and above it, there are photographs adorning the wall. As you take a step closer, your heart rate quickens upon seeing the photos that are affixed to the wall.

The room might be dark but it’s evident that the polaroid photos on the wall are you. There are a lot of photos of you and they are a mix of a photo from your social media accounts and a photo that he took without you noticing it. 

He’s been stalking you for a quite long time already. 

A memory comes back when you’ve felt that someone is looking at you or when you’ve felt like he’s around and you brush it all away believing that you were wrong but it all makes sense because he’s been stalking you and you don’t have any idea of it. 

Your trembling hands worsened as your jaw clenched, turning around with your eyes glared at his sleeping figure.

Your anger consumes you, and with every fiber of your being, a raw, primal fury pulses, urging you to harm him. As your rage intensifies, a dark abyss opens in your mind, and your thoughts race. You take a step toward the bed where he's lying down as your heart thunders in your chest.

‘You fucking monster.’

Even if there isn’t enough light, you still manage to look around to find something. You returned to the chest drawer opening it and you gasped as you saw more photos inside. You didn’t try to look at them one by one focusing on finding something.

‘I will fucking kill you’

From the drawer, you walked around and opened every cabinet inside his room to find something you’re looking for and when you did, your body suddenly froze. 

A gun.

With your heavy breaths and trembling hand, you took it out from the drawer and took a moment to stare at it. 

But before you’ve processed everything, you heard a voice speak.

“My little Y/N, what do you think you’re doing?” 

You immediately stood up, turned around, and saw Jungkook standing 7 feet away from you. The room was so dark that you couldn't see his face, but you could make out his silhouette. He was wearing pants but nothing on top.

You pointed the gun at him but he only laughed it out. Your entire body froze as you pointed the gun firmly on him and your heartbeat echoed loudly on your ears. Your breath came short, as if your lungs were struggling to keep up with your racing thoughts.

He walked slowly toward the bedside table and switched on the lamp, causing the room to fill with a warm glow. It wasn't very bright, but it was enough for both of you to see each other.

He grins as he sees that you stepped back, holding the gun firmer when he took a step towards you. 

You’re shaking so bad but you can’t hold your guards down because anything can happen in just a matter of seconds. 

“What, you’re gonna shoot me after I satisfy you?” He said with a grin on his lips. 

“I’m going to kill you.” Your voice is low but every word you say is sharp enough to show that you’re serious but he only scoffed at your words.

“Really, you’re going to do that?” His voice was seductive, provoking you even more. 

You try to find any signs of fear on his face but you find nothing. Instead, it only worsens your emotions. You weren’t sure if the gun that you’re holding is loaded and you only pray that it does. 

It’s your first time holding a gun and you don't have any idea of how to use it but your life is in danger and you have to act accordingly. 

You cocked the gun and pointed it out at him once again. 

“Do you even know how to use that?” He pouted as if he cares but it was full of mockery and sarcasm. 

“Don’t come near me.” You whispered as you held the gun firmly.

“Come on Y/N, don’t embarrass yourself.” He took a step back and sat at the edge of the bed, while his eyes were on you. “We both know that you aren't capable of doing that. Didn’t I satisfy you enough?” 

“Shut up.”

“As far as I remember, you love it so much when I eat you out. Did I think that wrong?” He rested his hand on the mattress behind him. “I love every reaction that you make when you feel so good. I love it when you dig your nails on my skin because you can’t contain the stimulation. And by how you feel so weak with my touch and kiss–

“Shut the fuck up!”

Your heart raced, your body trembled and a cold sweat broke out on your forehead. your thoughts worsen into chaos and an overwhelming dread washed over you. You can’t take the words he said. You just wanted him to shut up.

He stares at you with so much intensity, like he can see through your soul. “You should’ve checked if the gun was loaded, babe.” He commented shifting his gaze to the gun you’re holding. 

You shook your head as you pressed your lips firmly. “You monster. I’m going to fucking kill you.”

“Then kill me,” He spoke in his low voice. “Shoot me, Y/N.” He slowly stands up and walks towards you, making you step backwards. You panicked even more but you tried your best to stay still and point the gun towards him. 

“Show me how brave you are, Dr. Y/N.” Your back bumps into the cabinet behind you when there is no more space for you to step back as you were shaking so badly and you can no longer hold your tears. He pressed his chest on the muzzle of the gun while looking at you with so much intensity. 

In the blink of an eye, he firmly grabs your arm, attempting to wrest the gun from your grip, but you hold it even more tightly. You push him using your elbow, but he chokes you, and you tremble in pain. He's strong, but your determination is unwavering, and you won't lose to him this time.

You step forcefully onto his right foot, and when he shows his weakness, you swiftly break free from his grasp. However, he manages to trip you, causing you to fall and drop the gun.

You immediately crawl to get the gun but he pulled your leg away from it. 

“You can never escape me, Y/N!” He spoke as his hands circled around your neck. 

Your eyes were starting to blur, preventing you from seeing anything for a few moments. A sense of helplessness washed over you until your eyes caught the gun a few inches away from you. He was focused on choking you to death while you’re focused on reaching the gun. Desperation clouded your thoughts, urging you to stay stronger and when you finally reached the gun, you immediately pulled the trigger in his direction. 

You stood up when he released you, as a searing pain tore through his body upon being struck by the bullet, leaving him gasping for breath. You held the gun firmly while he endured the pain in his rib that had been hit by a bullet.

You cocked the gun one more time and pointed at him. 

You panted heavily as a panic gripped you, the inability to catch your breath adding to the rising sense of fear. He clenched his jaw, forcing himself not to let a sound escape his lips. 

He pressed his hand on his rib, looking at you with the same eyes that you despise so much. Despite being shot, he can still manage to look at you with mockery. 

"Do you believe that after what you've done, you have already… won?" He smirks as he slowly falls on the ground, enduring his physical pain. “I was in your position months ago. Holding a… gun as I shoot my mother. How ironic that the person… who tried to heal me was also the person… who would try to kill me.” He felt an agonizing, relentless throbbing at the site of the gunshot trying to ease the pain. He tried to stand up before he continued. “You’ve said a lot of times that my actions are… bad but look at you right now… Doing the same… thing.” 

“We’re not the same!” You shouted, holding the gun with your two hands. “You ruin my life, you monster!” You felt a seething rage, a burning intensity that threatened to overtake you. 

He only smirks at your response. “Really? Because last time I checked… I shoot my mother for being the monster that she is.” 

“Don’t you dare compare yourself to me!” Your fingers were trembling, itching to pull the trigger. 

“You might keep on denying it but we both know the truth.” Even in his situation, he can still play with a sinister smile on his lips. 

“You’re fucking wrong—

“Come on, Y/N! Look at you!” His eyes blazed with fiery, smirking at you as he cut you off. “You’re just like me! We’re really meant to be!” You are consumed by fury, your thoughts a turbulent storm of anger as his sinister laugh triggers you even more. Your heart pounded in your chest, tears streaming down your cheek and without you noticing it, you’re shooting him continuously.

“Fuck you! Motherfucker!” 

You continue to curse and pull the trigger even though he's already lying on the ground. Your anger blinds you to the point where you can no longer process your actions.

“I’m not like you! I’m fucking not like you!” You screamed along with every shot you made. Your heart pounded on your chest, as your words dripped with outrage. The only time you stop is when the gun is out of bullets. 

The room was surrounded by blood as you observed his lifeless body lying on the ground. You couldn't recall how many times you had shot him, but judging by the considerable amount of blood scattered about, it was evident that you had shot him numerous times.

Your vision swam before you, blurring the edges of reality as the world around you seemed to spin. You glance at the gun you’re holding and you immediately drop it off. Your whole body trembled uncontrollably, making you collapse on the floor. 

Blood. There’s a lot of blood.

The surroundings fell into an eerie silence and a chill ran down your spine. You're suddenly suffocated by fear as you crawl backward.

He’s dead. I killed him.

The only thing that you hear is the ticking sound of the clock and nothing else. You slowly look around but the only thing you see is blood. 

“But look at you right now, doing the same thing.”

“You’re just like me! We’re really meant to be!”

You covered your ears as you heard him. He was dead but you can still hear his sinister voice. 

“You can never escape me, Y/N!”

“STOP!”

—

The horizon blazed with a rich, golden hue as the sun's first rays pierced the darkness. Birds whistled as the day began. The air, now filled with the promise of warmth and life and with each passing moment, the sky emerged from its darkness.

Yet the horror you’ve made is still there. 

You’re under the glass window, watching the world to start its day. The room is still covered in blood–your body is still covered in blood. The sun has risen yet you wanted to stay in the dark. You don’t know what to do anymore. 

You suddenly heard the ringtone of your phone, making you feel more vulnerable. You covered your ears to prevent yourself from hearing it yet the sound seems to hunt you. 

After the call dies, you thought that it won’t ring again but before you can even have a peace of mind, it rang once again. 

Your legs tremble when you stand up. You do your best not to look at the corpse laying on the ground as you walk out of the room. 

His living room is exactly how it looked the last time you saw it. You look around to see any living thing but you sense nothing. Your phone is still ringing when you spot it on the top of the dining table where you ate last night. 

Where he forced you to drink a wine that made you weak. 

Tears welled up in your eyes when you saw the caller’s ID. 

It was your best friend.

It was Taehyung. 

“Thank god you answered! Where the hell are you?! I’ve been calling you since last night but you aren’t answering! You’re gonna kill me for worrying to you!”

Hearing his voice broke you down. Your tears flowed continuously as an uncontrollable emotion poured out on you. 

“Y/N, what happened? Why are you crying?” A deep concern is evident in his voice. 

You were shaking, crying with broken sobs as you covered your mouth in an attempt to calm down.

“Y/N! Speak up! What’s wrong?!”

“Tae… Please help me.” You attempt to speak. 

“Where are you? I’m going there.”

“Taehyung.”

“Y/N, what happened?”

“I made a grave sin.” 

“What?”

Your wailing sobs echoed through the whole area as you fell on your knees. He keeps asking what happened but you’re having a hard time admitting it. 

“Y/N, how am I going to help you if you can’t tell me?”

After a few moments, you started to calm down. Your sobs gradually subsided, a quiet hiccup escaped you as you closed your eyes briefly.

“I killed a man.” The words escape your lips and a new set of tears forms on your eyes. 

You never thought that you would resort to killing him. Out of all the things that happened, you wanted to end everything without harming anyone. You’re a well-known psychiatrist who has an advocacy that despite of who you are and what you’ve become, your mental health matters. 

You know yourself well. You know your strengths and weaknesses, and the cause of your happiness and sadness. But that’s what you thought. 

You can’t control your emotions. 

No matter how you try, you will always have a hard time controlling it.

There are a lot of reasons why people act without thinking when they are emotional. According to a study, physiologically, emotions can activate the body's fight-or-flight response. When emotions trigger this response, stress hormones like adrenaline flood the system, preparing the body to respond to perceived threats. This physiological reaction can reduce the ability to think clearly and may lead to impulsive actions.

“Where are you?” After a long pause, Taehyung finally spoke. 

“At Jeon Jungkook’s place. One of my patients.” You respond in a low voice. 

“Message me the exact address and I’ll be right there.”

You weren’t in your right mind when you pulled the trigger. You didn’t like what happened. 

Therefore, you weren’t just like him. 

It was his fault, after all.

-end-

a/n: finally, it's complete! Thank you so much for joining me in writing this JK fic. It's my first time delving into the thriller genre, and I've truly enjoyed the experience. I also hope that you all enjoy reading it as well. Have a great day, everyone!

taglist: @idkjustlovingbts @koohrs @minshookie29 @aajjks @softie00 @exquisite-bands @kingofbodyrolls @floralflowexs @oopscoop @yoonjinhusbands @ash07128 @kookiesbunny @cinnikoi @yluv-damara-13 @hoseoksluv89 @darkuni63 @iloverubberduckiez-blog @fangirl-death-rose @looneybleus

[necrotic-nephilim]

"I don't care how much you hate me - you need to eat!"

DickTim during Bruce's Lost In Time phase but with Dick stopping Tim from leaving💕

send a quote and a ship and I'll write a short fic!

fucked up DickTim during Bruce's lost in time era my beloved. this is 2k of *very* dead dove DickTim, with one-sided feelings from Dick and unreliable narrator vibes. it is a smidge OOC, just bc of how dark Dick gets, but i think i kept it best i could. enjoy <3

It wasn’t supposed to go this far.

Dick thought he was doing this to honor Bruce. The last thing Bruce would’ve wanted was to see Tim drive himself over the edge and go too far, all for a fruitless chase to bring Bruce back from the dead. And sure, maybe deep down Dick knew he reflected some of Bruce’s worst traits. The obsessive control. The worrying to the point of being overbearing.

It came with the capes and spandex territory. Especially now that Dick had decided to man up and put on that damned cowl.

But even at Bruce’s worst, Dick was pretty sure he wouldn’t dare go this far.

Dick knew it was wrong. What he didn’t know was why he couldn’t stop himself. Why the gnawing guilt was so easy to compartmentalize and why every good point Tim had got ignored by Dick’s logical side, brushed off by one simple mantra.

He was doing this for Tim’s own good.

All of this was to protect Tim from doing something he would regret.

Dick had done brain scans, had Tim magically checked up, and even managed to get him to properly talk to a psychiatrist. Everything came back normal. Tim was perfectly healthy.

So maybe this was something that had always been a part of Tim. Maybe it was a bad idea for any of them to have let Tim into the vigilante world so young.

Some people could handle it. Some people couldn’t. Dick had seen firsthand how it broke minds and ruined lives. He’d seen people turn to drugs, cults, murder, and god knew what else just to try to cope with it.

That didn’t make Tim weak. Tim Drake was the furthest thing from weak, and Dick would fight anyone on that.

This was just a hard life to cope with. Sometimes, people needed support through the worst of it.

That’s what Dick was doing.

Giving support.

“I don’t care how much you hate me- you need to eat!” Dick stepped back, dodging Tim’s attempt to kick his feet out. The bowl of salad Dick had set next to Tim was completely ignored.

Dick had learned not to give Tim hot food after Tim flung potato soup at his head the first time, chunks of potato stuck to his hair.

Tim’s scowl was lethal. Technically, he wasn’t restrained. He could move freely around the manor and do whatever he wanted.

It was the shock collar that kept him from leaving the grounds or breaking into the Batcave.

Dick had decided that would be the most humane way. The shock was only momentarily painful, it was designed to knock Tim unconscious if he tried to get somewhere he wasn’t supposed to. The collar had taken three tries before Dick found a lock Tim couldn’t pick, and a few more unfortunate incidents of Tim finding weak spots in the barrier.

But Dick always found Tim and brought him back home.

That was what was important.

The fact Tim kept trying to break out and go to god knew where on some fruitless quest to find a dead man made Dick more secure about this decision.

He was doing this to protect Tim. Once Tim worked through the worst of his grief, all this would be in the past. Something they would laugh at.

Hopefully.

It was like one of Tim’s contingency plans. Really, he of all people should understand.

But he didn’t. Which was what hurt Dick the most, the angry look in Tim’s eyes and the way his fists clenched when Dick came into Tim’s room. Tim had access to the whole manor, but he stuck mostly to his room, refusing to talk to anyone.

Especially Dick.

And now, it seemed, his latest tactic was a hunger strike.

“I’ll let you look over the burglary case we’re working on,” Dick offered. “I’ll bring you all the files and your computer if you just…” he gestured to the salad, “eat something.”

That had worked, in the beginning. Dick could coax good behavior out of Tim by offering to let Tim help with whatever case Dick was facing. It took a load off of Dick’s back and gave Tim something to focus on.

Of course, Dick couldn’t leave Tim’s computer with him. The first time Dick did that, Tim managed to break all of the firewalls and safeties put on it to start a case file about Bruce. Dick had to delete everything and only allow Tim monitored access from that point on.

After that, Tim really didn’t like Dick.

“Can’t you just go back to ignoring me?” Tim snapped. He sounded… resigned. Emotionless in a way he hadn’t been, like all the fight he’d been putting up for weeks was finally going out.

“Ignoring you?” Dick frowned. He felt like he’d been punched in the gut at the words. He kept a wide berth from Tim, wary of more punches being thrown, and decided to sit at Tim’s desk chair, a good few feet from where Tim was on his bed. “What makes you think I’m ignoring you?”

Tim scoffed and rolled his eyes. “You only talk to me to ask if I’ve dropped the Bruce thing yet, or to try to force self-care on me. The rest of the time you ignore me so you don’t have to face your own guilt.”

Dick violently shook his head. “That’s not-” he sighed, running a hand over his face- “I’m just busy, I promise. Between being Batman, managing Bruce’s estate, and trying to handle Damian, I just…” his voice trailed off. So many things to balance. He still didn’t know how Bruce managed it all. “I haven’t made enough time for you. I’m sorry.”

He decided to take on the burden of helping Tim. It was his responsibility and Tim was right, Dick was doing a piss poor job of taking care of him.

No wonder he pushed away Dick’s attempts to reconcile. It must’ve come across as half-assed, in Tim’s eyes.

Dick wished Bruce was here. He would’ve known the right way to handle this.

“Don’t start now,” Tim said icily. He picked up a book from his nightstand and opened it, pointedly not looking at Dick anymore. “Just leave me alone.”

“Will you eat first?” Dick asked. “If you just eat, I’ll go. I promise.”

With a loud sigh, Tim snapped his book shut. He picked up the salad Dick brought and shoveled down mouthfuls, all while glaring at Dick. Once the bowl was empty he set it back down and spread his hands, waiting.

Dick didn’t leave.

He wasn’t going to abandon Tim.

Dick stood up and Tim relaxed for just a moment before he realized Dick was walking toward Tim’s bed instead of the door. Slowly, like he was approaching a wild animal, Dick crept forward. He chose to sit on the foot of the bed, still far enough away from Tim to give him personal space.

“Tim-”

“Out. Now. You promised.”

Dick ran his fingers through his hair. “I know, but-”

“What do you want from me?” Tim almost yelled the words. “Do you want me to just say I don’t believe Bruce is alive? Will you finally leave me alone, then?”

“Can you say it under a truth serum?”

Tim went quiet, grinding his jaw.

“I want you to get better,” Dick sighed.

“What happens when I get better, then?” Tim challenged. He moved to sit cross-legged on the bed. So close to Dick that Dick could reach out and touch him, but emotionally, they were miles apart and it hurt Dick’s chest. “You ‘fix me’-” he put finger quotes around the words- “to your liking, then set me free?”

“Don’t talk about yourself like you’re an animal.” Dick frowned, fist clenching at the idea Tim thought of himself that way.

Tim just stared at him. “Then don’t treat me like one.” He raised a hand and tapped the collar.

It looked like it had new scratch marks on it.

“That’s not what I’m doing,” Dick said. He tried to find the words. It was so hard to explain it when Tim wasn’t listening to him. He wasn’t even given a chance. Dick tried to reach out. For once, Tim didn’t pull away. He was completely rigid under Dick’s touch, though. His hand rested on Tim’s arm, thumb stroking back and forth. “You know I’m doing this because… because I’m worried about you. And I care, Tim.”

“No you don’t,” Tim leaned away from Dick, but didn’t pull his arm free. “Whatever version of me exists in your head-”

“Tim-”

“-isn’t real,” Tim ignored him and kept going. “You won’t even listen to my theory-”

“Tim!” Dick tightened his grip, ignoring the small wince of pain that came out of Tim. “I’m not entertaining that kind of talk.” He tried to be firm but loving with his tone. But even Dick could hear the anger and frustration that was bleeding off of him. “This is practically self harm.”

“I know I’m right,” Tim mumbled. He wouldn’t look at Dick. “Will you just leave, now?”

Against his better judgment, Dick stood up. He had to patrol soon. “I’m sorry. We’ll talk after-”

“I’m going to sleep,” Tim snapped. “No, we won’t.”

Dick tried to throw his hands up in frustration, but he was still holding onto Tim’s arm.

He didn’t want to let go.

He knew Tim was waiting for him to let go, but Dick couldn’t force his fingers to release. He just stared for a moment, breathing hard.

Dick was doing this out of love.

And now, he loved Tim too much to want to let go of him.

Did he have to patrol tonight? He was pretty sure the Birds of Prey were in Gotham.

“Dick,” Tim said carefully, starting to scoot away from him. The apprehension in his voice was unsteady, eyes narrowed. He was always too on edge. “I’m tired. Just go on patrol.”

Instead of letting go, Dick lifted his other hand and held Tim’s face. Tim flinched but stopped inching away. He was completely still, barely even breathing.

He looked afraid of Dick.

Dick’s chest clenched. He wished he could get Tim to understand. Dick leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Tim’s forehead.

He wanted to kiss somewhere else, somewhere a few inches lower and just as unobtainable. That was a feeling Dick buried deep, deep inside of him.

It wasn’t why he was doing this.

A hand pressed against Dick’s chest. Trying to push Dick away, but for just a moment, the pressure and warmth almost made Dick shudder. Tim hadn’t properly trained in a while.

He wasn’t actually strong enough to push Dick off of him. If Dick wanted to, Tim couldn’t have stopped him.

But their relationship was already fractured. It would take a long time of repairing and letting Tim heal before Dick could even try pursuing those feelings.

Tim had once had a childhood crush on Dick, though. So he was pretty sure they could work their way up to it, be something more.

Dick pulled away. He let go of Tim’s arm and allowed himself one stroke of Tim’s hair. It was getting a little long, brushing against Tim’s shoulders.

The entire time, Tim remained perfectly still. But his eyes got wider and wider, the way they always did when he had just figured out a case.

Dick was getting too close. He needed to pull back.

“You still have the spare comm link?” Dick asked.

Tim didn’t answer. He just kept staring with those wide, searching eyes. He looked a little pale. Dick should get him some iron supplements, Tim becoming anemic is the last thing Dick wanted.

“Use it if you need me for anything,” Dick continued. He gave Tim what he hoped was a calming smile. “Get some sleep, Tim. I love you.”

He turned and walked out of Tim’s room. Slowed to crawl at a snail’s pace, hoping for an answer from Tim. He would take any kind of answer.

But Tim kept silent, even as Dick took his time intentionally, slowly closing the door. Dick just sighed, turning down the hall to head down to the Batcave.

Someday, he’d get through to Tim. Dick would find a way.

Someday soon.

[eros7hanatos]

➽ Things NXX members do when you get sick 

Warnings: established relationships, character and reader live together, pure fluff, SFW, reader doesn���t have to be Rosa, gn reader

Word count: 754

A/N: some fluff to clear my thoughts and make me less stressed TT, I’m in love with all of them.

Luke Pearce

A little panicked, as soon as you stumbled out of your room to go on about your day, your face flushed for no apparent reason he yelped, “No way you’re going anywhere today! You’re staying at home and recovering!”

Literally rushes to the convenience store nearby to buy you medicine. You wake up from your nap to see him drenched in sweat with a plastic bag in his hand and a smile on his face.

Knows your favorite foods that you eat when you're sick and tries his best to make it but, well, he’s not the best cook. So he buys some instead. 

He makes sure that you take your medicines on time and always stays by your side.

Drowns you in hugs and kisses, no matter what you say or do can make him stop. “Luke! You’re going to get sick as well!” he continues to drown you in love and affection.

Such a cutie, trying his best to take care of you. Cheers you up by telling stories, either from his past or funny stories of you guys.

Artem Wing

Immediately pulls you back to bed as soon as he feels your temperature. “You have a fever. You need to stay home and rest.”

A lot calmer than Luke or Marius.

Has basic medicine at home, since he’s a workaholic he takes medicine and works from home. Quickly drives to the nearest convenience store to buy more medicine, if needed. He won’t do anything like that to you though. Insists you stay in bed.

Offers to clear up work or studies for you if on a deadline or urgent. 

Home cooked meals, he’s a great cook, I just know it. 

Such a serious and worried cutie, tries his best to help. Offers his arm for support wherever you go and feeds you water every 30 minutes.

Vyn Richter

Notices something is off almost instantly. “You don’t look so well.” “I’m fine.” after a few moments of silence, and of him inspecting you, “You’re sick. You need to rest.”

Definitely the calmest in the group. I mean he’s a doctor. Psychiatrist, but he still has the general medical knowledge.

Has ALL the medicine you need, throat lozenges? check. Tylenol for headaches? check. No convenience store run for him. 

Brews you herbal tea depending on your symptoms and omg are they delicious and cures your sore throat almost instantaneously. Reminds you to take your medicine on time, never misses one.

Acts as an actual doctor in hopes of cheering you up, “It seems like you’ve been overworked for too long, too much stress. I prescribe you 3-5 days of rest.” “Yes, Dr. Richter~” you play along, having fun. 

Marius von Hagen

At first he panicked when he felt your body rising in temperature. “Ah! Jiejie, why’re you so hot?” You laugh at his wording, even if your throat hurts. “I know I’m hot, but thanks for the reassurance” you tease him back. “You have a fever, Jiejie!” he says, touching your forehead, ignoring what you just said.

Such a drama queen. Has Payton bring every single medicine they could find in that huge mansion of his as well as send Payton to go buy every single medicine on the shelf of the nearby convenience store. 

Was about to call the ambulance, which you refused of course, “It’s just a fever! Rest and water is all I need!” He insists on driving you to the hospital. After a talk with Payton, both of you begging Marius that it’s not that bad, he reluctantly agrees.

He contacts AT LEAST 3 doctors to come immediately to treat you. All of this makes you even more tired, you decide to lie down and take a break from all of his… worried actions…

He finally finds you in his room, all wrapped up and sleeping. He stays by your side the whole time, offering help when not even needed. 

“Where are you going?” “To the toilet.” “Let me help.” He helps bring you to the toilet, just as you step inside he doesn’t leave. You raise an eyebrow. “Um?” “I can help!” “I don’t need help anymore! I can pee by myself!” “but-” “Marius, get out!” ”forgive him. He just worries about you <3

Once you get better though, ohoho, he’s teasing you about this every chance he gets. You soon miss the quiet days of your fever and how he was always worried and listening to you. Now he’s back to his teasing and antics.

[wolfjackle-creates]

I don't know if your taking requests at the moment, but can I just put this idea in your head? Spectra takes over Arkham Asylum. She sneaks past Danny somehow and sets up shop. Batfam ends up going to Amity Park as it's the only other location that she's recorded to have worked at, and they can't access the data from their computers for some reason. >:3

I'm probably not gonna be adding more fics to my WIP list if I can help it (curse my poor impulse control), but I'm absolutely up for talking prompts and brainstorming how I'd handle them!

I'd probably start the fic long before anyone goes to Amity. ^.^

Spectra is a psychiatrist in Arkham. The guards love her because all the patients/inmates come out of her sessions docile and cowed. In the entire history of the asylum, the patients have never been so well behaved.

Then Harley gets dragged before her. Even she is not immune to Spectra's power. But Harley has enough psychiatric training to know something is up. That the things Spectra is spewing are total BS. That her words alone shouldn't have the affect they are.

She sends words to Pamela Isley. Letting her know to lay low and avoid capture at all costs while this woman is still at Arkham. That something bad is going on. Maybe she even asks for help. Pamela then contacts Jason and/or Dick.

Jason/Dick contacts Tim or Barbara to look up information on the mysterious psychiatrist. Only...they can't find anything. It's like she doesn't exist. Even the records detailing her hiring are odd. (She overshadowed a few people to forge some of the paperwork, but missed a few steps.)

All they can find for sure is an obituary from decades ago and a short 2-3 week stint at a high school in Illinois.

Dual plot lines: Poison Ivy trying to break Harley out of Arkham while 2-3 of the bats go to Amity to find information on Spectra.

@stealingyourbones have you seen any other prompts/fics with Spectra at Arkham?

[pokechbi]

Healing Simon (Chapter 2)

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Psychiatrist!femreader

MDNI !!

WC: 2.1k

enjoy lovies <3 I missed you all! pray to the writing gods that I get out of this funk lol

You stared at the email on your laptop, the cursor blinking on the empty reply line. You chew your nail as you think of a reply. You had given your email to Simon to contact you whenever he needed to talk outside of your office, but never expected him to actually use it considering how he was practically forced by Price to attend your sessions. Although something in you knew it wasn’t so forced anymore. It had been a week since your last session, the night before you’d see him again. 

Having a hard time tonight. Can you talk? 

-LSR 

You typed your reply, hitting send without a second thought.

Absolutely, Simon. You have my number :) 

-

Less than a minute later, your phone rang. You let it ring twice before picking it up. 

“Hello?” You say, a slight shake in your voice. You definitely weren’t used to clients calling you personally. Especially this late. 

“Up at this time?” He says smugly. You hear the smirk in his voice. You smile, scratching the skin behind your ear. 

“Couldn’t sleep. What about you?” You reply. 

“Same here. Don’t you have to be up early?” 

You lick your lips, biting back a smile at his concern. His voice gruff, yet gentle and warm in your ears. 

“I’ll be alright, Simon. What’s been on your mind?” 

He takes a pause before speaking. The line is quiet, a stark contrast to your TV running in the background. You grab the remote, muting it. 

“Just need to talk, love. That’s all.” His change of tone has you concerned, realizing you need to distract him. But nothing has you captivated more than his painfully British nickname for you. Love. It flows off his tongue so easily, so sweetly. Feels like sugar running through your veins, sweetening you. 

“I’ve been gardening lately. Probably not the right time, considering how it's almost winter.” You chuckle. You replied on a whim, knowing he probably could not have cared less about your failed gardening experiments. You hear him chuckle on the other end, the sound shocking you as you haven’t heard his genuine laugh in the months he’d been seeing you. 

“What are you growing? Or trying to, at least.” His sarcastic remark makes you smile wider, a small giggle leaving your lips. It was nice, being able to hear how he sounded outside of your office, talking about things that seem small and insignificant. Like a close friend. 

“Well, I’ve managed to sprout a few tomato plants, some green onions too. Those things grow like crazy.” You respond. 

The line goes quiet again. You fill the silence. 

“I’ve got some nice indoor plants too, they’re less complicated to care for, you know?” 

“What kind?” He asks. 

“The easy kind” You reply, the smile evident in your voice. He chuckles. You feel good, knowing you’re helping him. Even if it’s the smallest bit. 

“I can’t keep a plant alive to save my life. Just got no time for it.” He continues with a gentle sigh. You smirk to yourself, imagining Simon overwatering a plant, thinking he was helping it rather than killing it. 

“I can show you a thing or two, if you want?” You ask. You don’t know what came over you, or why you thought he’d want to learn how to care for a plant by his psychiatrist. “I’m no expert, though.” You continue, not wanting to break the moment. 

“I’d like that.” He seems to jump at the opportunity, not regarding the insinuation that he’d need to come to your apartment to do so. You lie down, turning on your side as you stare at the wall ahead of you. 

“Who knows, maybe you’ll become good at it.” You say gently, a hint of hopefulness in your voice, fully knowing Simon was not the type of man to be good at gardening. It couldn’t hurt to try, though. 

“I’m sure with a teacher like you love, I’d be good at anything.” He catches you off guard, your eyes widening and mouth hanging agape. You try to find the words, but he interrupts you. 

“Thank you for taking my call.” He says, his voice sounding distant. “I needed it.”

You take your lip between your teeth, biting back a smile. “Of course, Simon. I’m here for you. Always.” 

“Night, love.” He says, the smirk evident in his voice.

“Goodnight, Simon. See you tomorrow.” You hang up. Your mind races miles a minute, repeating his words in your head. 

With a teacher like you, love, I’d be good at anything. 

So you weren’t the only one feeling it. 

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You sat at your desk, the clock creeping to 2:00PM. Your appointment with Simon was in less than 10 minutes, and you were still strongly feeling the effects of what he said to you last night. 

Am I overthinking this? Is he just being friendly? Is he naturally flirtatious? 

The questions ran through your head and swarmed through your subconscious. There was no possible way he was actually into you. There were plenty of factors at play. You had been the only one picking at his brain for the past six months, the only one who seemed to care enough to know what was going through his head. Was it that? Or was it the fact that you had been the only consistent thing in his life, and it was taking a toll on him? 

You got up, pacing behind your desk as you waited for him. Sure, you were attracted to him. You liked his presence, his strong, unwavering aura. He was a man who was sure of himself, and that was a guaranteed turn on for women who had only managed to attract the wrong types of attention from all the wrong kinds of men. 

And yet, there you were: spraying extra perfume in all the most intimate places. Behind your ears, your upper forearms, your ankles. Today, your dress being shorter than the pencil skirts you usually wore, the v-cut just a tad bit deeper. Your heels just a bit higher and your legs just a smidge more shaved than usual. 

A knock at the door brings you out of your head. You throw your hair behind your shoulders, walking over to the door. You pause for a moment, then swing it open. Simon stands there, in his usual attire. You notice his eyes shift under his balaclava, a glint of something different in him today. You take notice of this, stepping to the side as you let him in. You close the door behind you, directing him to the chair as if he hadn’t been sitting in it every week for months now. You walk to your desk, your strides slow and calculated. 

“I like your dress. What’s the occasion?” He asks suddenly. You turn to him, noticing how his eyes slightly struggle to stay above your chest. You smile to yourself at him noticing your change in attire. 

“No occasion, I just felt like looking nice today, that’s all.” He hums in response, nodding his head slightly. 

“You always look nice.” You chuckle softly. You walk towards the chair across from him, sitting slowly, keeping your eyes on his. You notice his gaze flit to your legs, and back up to your eyes. The boldness of his glances made your heart leap in your chest. 

“Well thank you, Simon. I’m glad you think so.” You fidget with your fingers, keeping eye contact with him. “Do you want to pick up where we left off last week?” You open your notepad and uncap your pen. “What’s on your mind today?” 

“Not letting me forget why I’m here, huh.” He chuckles softly, resting his right ankle on his left knee. Simon was often hard to read. And he knew that. He only expressed what he wanted people to see, and it frustrated you. You were putting some serious elbow grease into picking at his brain, yet he kept his walls impenetrable, letting you in slowly but surely. 

You capped your pen, setting your notepad aside. You looked at him and smiled gently, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. You leaned back in your chair, folding your leg over the other. You had a feeling this day would come, when Simon needed a break from the professional shrink-talk. He needed a friend, one that didn’t constantly remind him of his duties as a soldier. Someone to get away with. One that wasn’t legally obligated to share his thoughts and innermost secrets with his superiors. 

You see a hint of amusement in his eyes as you continue to exchange looks to each other. The silence was growing, but not uncomfortable. He watched as you got up and walked over to the door where your jacket hung. He kept his eyes on you while you put it on, your dress rising slightly as you raised your arms. 

“You like coffee?” You ask, grabbing your purse and opening the door. He chuckles, rising from his seat and following you out. 

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“They’re closed.” Simon says, bending down to read the cafe’s open hours. You peer inside, seeing nothing but chairs on the tables and the lights completely off. 

“Well, shit.” You say, laughing to yourself. He looks down at you, and you swear you see a hint of a smile in his eyes. “What now?” You say shyly, the embarrassment evident on your face. 

“Your offer for the gardening lesson. Does it still stand?” He says. You smile, hearing the smirk in his voice. Your breath catches in your throat, thoughts racing through your head. Surely it would be unprofessional. It was completely forbidden in the psychiatry world to allow a client into your home, much less a client who had unbearable tension with you. It scared you. The thought of being alone with him, in close quarters. What would happen? You’re sure Simon wasn’t stupid. He knew what was at play. The stolen glances, the slight flirting between you two over the months. It was obvious. 

“Of course. We can have coffee at mine instead.” You say, breaking the silence. He nods, following you back to your car. As you walk back down the street, the wind picks up and your hair flies everywhere. You give up on trying to keep it in place, letting it flow wild. The wind blows your dress uncomfortably high, and you feel a breeze hit you in places that shouldn’t be hit. You look back to Simon, noticing how he watches you struggle to keep it down. You smile at him, smiling nervously. How embarrassing. 

You reach your car, pulling your keys from your jacket pocket. Before you could pull the door open, you feel a strong hand wrap around your wrist. His touch on your skin feels comfortably warm, in contrast with the biting cold. You turn, meeting him eye to eye, your lips hanging agape. He takes a step towards you, your chests only inches apart. 

“Thank you. For getting out with me.” He says, the look in his eyes sincere. You stare up at him, looking between his eyes. Oh how badly you wanted to reach up and kiss him. The urge settles deep in your stomach. You place your hand on his bicep, squeezing gently. He looks at your hand and places it over yours. He takes it in his, interlacing your fingers. The warmth from his hand spreads throughout your body, settling in your core. It was strong and big, his grip unwavering and protecting. 

“Anytime, Simon.” You reply, the shake in your voice giving you away completely. He leans down, pressing his forehead to yours. You close your eyes, tightening your hold on his hand and wrapping your other arm around his neck instinctively. 

What the hell has gotten into me? This can’t happen. It feels wrong. He’s my patient, for Christ's sake. But fuck, does it feel so good. He’s so warm. So..big. 

You feel his hand rest on your hip, squeezing slightly. You relax into his touch, his body heat practically melting you. You open your eyes, and take a step back. 

He wastes no time in lifting his mask, and pressing his lips to yours. 

[yippie-madness]

BEFORE YOU SEND AN ASK!! no chain mail, no "🎇 you may be a mentally ill fuck and a failure but their is hope, you can be fixed!!!1! 🎇" type asks (actually might kill myself if i get one more person telling me how much i need my personality curing. fuck you)

DNI: "18+"/"Minors DNI" blogs (i am a minor), non-ed/shblr blogs, people who worship Girl Interrupted (yk what i mean), zionists, bigots. i just block whoever tho, i block most tcc blogs.

please tag list

cvts and sometimes janet. they/them. MINOR! was @yippie-cvts, @cvts-yippie, @yippie-mutilation and some more i forgor. Rocky Horror Picture Show obsessed tranny. cut just because i can <3

forced recovery kills, psychiatrists are pigs

self harm harm reduction blog: @selfharm-harmreduction

cuts first-aid for self-harmers, all about infections for self-harmers

feel free to DM me!!!

interests and shit under cut

i (consistently) like a total of three bands because im picky af; x-ray spex, the rezillos, the adverts. i love commie propaganda in my music (thank you poly styrene <3) (/gen, im an oogy boogie commie)

Movies: rocky horror picture show (ofc), get out, coraline, uh. horror movies in general i forgor.

TV: doctor who, sex education, heart break high, call the midwife (idk), everything now (kinda hate the ending but thats only because i hate how all mentally ill people gotta get "fixed" in the end of everything and also cameron should have been a self harmer im sorry but look at him)

misc: Vincent Van Gogh's death (yapping about him is #1 sign im losing it lmao), ASL (currently learning it)

special interests: self harm/harm reduction for sh, frogs, Coraline, psychology (anti-psych lense), mad liberation, anti-psych

[cursed-elements-blog]

If you love Chunt so much give us all available chanter facts.

okie dokie!!! if i get any wrong, I'll delete my account (lying). im also not going to just do a full plot recap!! i will have to reference some plot points though so spoilers for Echo VN.

Chunty wunty was born in 1993 between Spring (probably March/April, i don't remember when his spring break was) and November 1st. He is a north american river otter! he was born and raised within Echo.

when he was a child, he was kind of an asshole! using carl's fear of ghosts to get access to carl's game consoles when he wanted to stay the night and frequently telling lies to get what he wants. Chase tells himself via his inner monologue that his dick is huge. on november 1st 2008, chase got caught jacking off to gay porn (fox and horse specifically) by his parents and then spent the rest of the day avoiding them. he got together with leo the day after that. Chase has arachnophobia. chase is bisexual but tells people he's gay cause he says that it is much easier to do that than to explain what bisexual is. at college he had one single edible and had a terrible intense trip lmao man CANNOT handle weed.

Chunt and Jenna thought it would be funny to pull a prank on Leo, this ended up with Chase breaking up with Leo. he suffers from sleep paralysis, hallucinations, and dissociation because sam-entity is possessing him. he has a somewhat artificial interest in journalism and photography and only really chose that field because Jenna suggested it to him when she told him to try to leave Echo. speaking of Jenna, Chaunter drove her out of Echo and to Payton to escape her abusive family.

after chase broke up with Leo and went off to college, he would still send Leo a bunch of sexually charged messages telling him how he missed Leo when drunk. he's such a messy bitch (affectionate). Chase and Carl used to be roommates in college before Carl dropped out. then Chase roomed with a rabbit and then Vincent. he was a very average student. chase used to have an anchor bracelet that he and Leo wore to symbolize their relationship* *yo i fucking cried when writing this sentence. that got me so emotional holy shit.

this is long so here is a break. more under the cut :3

he stopped wearing the bracelet during college. Chase drowned Sydney because he felt as if Sydney would eventually kill TJ. he then subconsciously suppressed this memory. he used to see a psychiatrist and take meds because he saw a body hanging in the woods shortly after Sydney's death.

Chase has a noticeable but not apparent gay accent. like that valley girl twang. stereotypical gay voice. he has said "haaii" he has said "hey, bee-otch" and he has said "hiiiiiiii~". when he and Leo first got together, they ended up sort of neglecting their other friends. Chase only was available to drive Jenna to Payton because he and Leo were fighting and thus not speaking to each other.

once TJ asked Chase how he knew he was into men, and Chase told him to go to a porn website. Chase loves to swim! he also stinks. Chase's musk actually apparently turns people off, especially on dating sites. speaking of, Chase is on Predatr, a dating app (parody of grindr)

Chase's mom calls his arachnophobia "his little spider problem". chase used to think he was strictly gay but realized that wasn't quite right sometime during his late teens/early 20s. CHase doesn't finish his school project in time in a vast majority of the routes. Chase, Jenna, and Leo used to play platformers together before Leo could really understand english, "double jump that sucker" became a in-joke between the three. the two of them helped Leo learn english.

in Flynn's route, Chase has exactly one good and successful publication before his journalism career goes downhill. he is 26 when he meets Devon and Cameron in Echo. in leo's route Chase is 22/23 when he visits with his boyfriend Kudzu. Chase's whereabouts after TJ's route is unknown! terrifying given how that route ended!

Chase has a body count of 2, killing Sydney and Flynn (only in TJ's route). In Carl's route, Chase once again rooms with Carl in college. Chase is a fucking kinkshamer. Chase tends to assume all christians are homophobic and subtly had behaved rudely to TJ and his family because of this despite their love of him.

when he was 15 he put a fucking gay dating ad seeking a "friend/mentor" while pretending his was 18 by taking a photo of him on a roller coaster and blurring out the face. this plan did not work and he was banned from the sight. probably has a small bladder cause he needs to piss a lot!

Chase went through an emo phase where he frosted his hair tips. god i wish we saw that. Chase thought his little goatee would grow into a full beard. it did not. Chase Hunter is my babygirl!! Chase and Leo went to TJ's christian party thing and spent the entire party making out in Leo's car. Chase bottomed for most of his relationship with Leo. Chase is 5'7. Chase once had Leo put his dick in a hotdog bun and was "shocked" at the result according to Leo. Chase is attending Pueblo University, can't believe i hadn't put that one down yet

Chase's legs are described as "stubby" and he isn't a great runner because of it. Chase doesn't like the idea of getting more help for his issues after having poor experiences with them as a kid. Chase used to get bullied sort of by Clint and Jeremy. Leo's family loved Chase when they were dating. Chase has a high amount of leg specific injuries across the entire vn.

Chase's original last name was going to be Cooper according to Howly. Chase is the first ECHO PROJECT PROTAGONIST!!!! BABYGIRL MADE HISTORY!!!!

im ending it there cause i have work in the morning :/

part 2 maybe ;3

[queerautism]

I saw you say "idk" to a positivity post and I realised I never told you what you did for me. I felt like it was important for you to know that 3 years ago, you made me feel accepted as a system when no one else did. I don't think we even spoke. But every psychiatrist in my town denies the existence of DID/OSDD and of plurality as a whole, and when I searched for community online, I found myself getting harassed for not being plural the "right" way. I started trying to learn what all the rules were and why they existed but they all seemed so arbitrary to me and whenever I tried to ask questions, I'd just get harassed again.

And then I found your blog! You helped with all of the confusion and I finally got to start focusing on the stuff that actually matters. It felt good. Im pretty sure without you I would have gone back in denial for who knows how long... so thank you.

😭😭💜 This is so sweet!! Thank you so much for taking the time to send this message, it means a lot. I'm so glad you found it helpful!!

You belong in the plural community and your experience makes it richer and more diverse. Thank you for being here with us :)

[cedarxwing]

Hello!! I read your vitruvian man meta it's so accurate 😭😭

Bryan Fuller said this during S3a.

"Hannibal's gone through this whole experience, and he's been on the lam with Bedelia thinking about the context of his relationships with others. And what he comes out the other end with is missing Will Graham and wanting to send him a valentine and draw him near. Gideon performed a certain role. Gideon even says that Hannibal, like a snail, enjoys eating in company. We see him enjoying being with Bedelia. So, he is a social creature in many ways, but neither Gideon nor Bedelia can be substitutes for the one who captured his heart, and that's Will Graham."

Do you think during the Anthony Dimmond scene where Bedelia tries to run away from Hannibal is when Hannibal decides that Bedelia was not a good replacement for Will and starts to miss Will? Is that why he made the Human heart because he was pining for Will ?

Thank you! <3 At the risk of repeating that Fuller quote verbatim, yes, Hannibal totally makes the human heart because he's pining for Will. Very "tortured artist writing a love poem" vibes. Constructing the tableau is probably cathartic in its own right, but it's also:

a siren call to lure Will to Italy so that Hannibal can see him again (pathetic)

an "I miss you, please, we can still make this work" (desperate)

an invitation to "enter the foyer of his mind and stumble down the hall of his beginnings," because Hannibal still wants Will to try to know him, even if only to hunt him down and kill him (sad)

Placement in the Norman Chapel means that Hannibal gets to watch Will enter his memory palace both physically (moving through the literal space) and figuratively (piecing together the message in his tableau) at the same time. There's something so intimate about Will walking around that building during the investigation, the only one to know that, in a way, they're inside Hannibal. I always wonder if Hannibal gets off on that when he's spying on Will from above...

Regarding Bedelia: You probably didn't mean it this way, but the recent ship war between bedannibal and hannigram is sooo tired imo. Before I dive into analysis, I want to be clear that I fully support Hannibal and Bedelia banging on every surface of their luxurious palazzo apartment. Acknowledging that both Hannibal and Will have had multiple loves in their lives doesn't detract from hannigram. Personally, I find that aspect of their relationship beautiful and relatable.

The way I see it, Bedelia has been rejecting Hannibal continuously since their first interaction in Sorbet. ("We're not friends," "Since you refuse invitations to my dinner table, this is the only way I could cook for you," "I'm ending our patient-psychiatrist relationship," "Is this professional curiosity? Almost entirely.") During their time in Florence, she refuses to eat anything with a central nervous system. She's not amused when Hannibal contemplates killing Sogliatto or when Dimmond discovers their secret, as her primary concern is lying low. Her trying to run away in Antipasto is merely the rejection that convinces Hannibal that she'll never fully accept him.

For Hannibal, it also recontextualizes his past relationship with Will. From his perspective, the two critical differences between Will and Bedelia are:

Will willingly ate human flesh with him. It doesn't matter that it was part of an act. It doesn't matter if Will hated it at the time. Hannibal will always dream of their Naka Choko dinner date. That type of acceptance ("eating in company") is what he wants more than anything.

Will's empathy allowed him to return Hannibal's affection. Their relationship began with betrayal, but in the end, Will chose Hannibal, even if Hannibal didn't see it that way at the time.

Jack sums it up perfectly here:

At the same time, S3a Will has a lot of the same hang ups as Bedelia: fear of getting caught by the authorities, fear of losing himself in Hannibal's influence, not wanting to be killed and eaten, etc. So it's not so much that Hannibal decides that "Bedelia wasn't a good replacement for Will." It's that he learns to value Will's potential (aka his malleability, as Chiyoh puts it) after Bedelia resoundingly shuts him down.

In summary, sitting on the train en route to Palermo, Hannibal is heartbroken at Bedelia's rejection and longs for the acceptance he found with Will. He wants someone who will delight and participate in wickedness, not tolerate and observe.

...

To be honest, I find it more interesting to compare Will to people like Gideon and Tobias from Hannibal's perspective. As you quoted Fuller, "Neither Gideon nor Bedelia can be substitutes for the one who captured his heart." What's wrong with Gideon then? But that's a topic for a different post lol.

[eeunoia]

ENHYPEN Imagines

Again

pairings: kim sunoo x reader

synopsis: kim sunoo had decisions he regrets before. and so when given a ‘second chance’ he made sure he won’t make the same mistakes again.

word count: 5k

warnings: contains yandere themes, curses and mention of murder.

note📎: i may or may not got carried away on writing this one. i didn’t know sunoo and the word yandere can fit so well. anyway, i hope you enjoy this one. let me know about your thoughts by sending asks to me. thank you and have a nice day/night 🤍

© 2023 eeunoia — all rights reserved.

“Sunoo, sweetheart.” his Mom greeted him as he enters their dinning area. He gave him a short glance then dropped a quick kiss at her head before heading towards his usual sit.

“Yeah?” he ask then the helpers attend to him right away, serving him his breakfast.

“Your doctor called me last night.” she starts and Sunoo draws a strained sigh before looking away from her. “She said that you didn’t visit again last saturday for your session. You’ve missed months of therapy.” she sounded so worried.

He didn’t say anything and just kept his eyes over his plate while his hand plays over his utensil.

“Are you drinking your meds?”

Sunoo sighed, starting to get annoyed with the continuous questions his Mom are throwing him. He tried to flash her a small smile despite the irritation before answering her.

“I am drinking my meds, Mom. Don’t worry.” he looked straight to her eyes so she can see that he’s sincere about it. “I will visit my doctor soon.”

She kept her worried stares at him for a while before finally nodding her head. The two of them then continued eating breakfast, diverting the topic about something else. Sunoo’s glad his Mom don’t pester him more about the stupid medications and sessions. He’s so done with it. Does his parents don’t trust him? Does he seem unwell for them? He’s fine. He’s perfectly fine.

“I’ll see you later for dinner, son.” she caress his cheeks and he just nods at her before they both go on separate vehicles.

Sunoo waved at his Mom’s car as her driver drove it out of their driveway. His smile fell the moment it disappeared out of his sight. He stood there for a bit more and just stared at nothing. He sighed then unlocked his black range rover to get inside.

While on the way, his mind went over to what his Mom was talking about. His doctor is such a snitch. He did made himself clear last 3 months ago that he won’t visit again. Why does she have to call his Mom? Now, she’s worried over nothing.

When he got hold by a redlight, he fished his phone then dialled his friend’s number. It rang two times before he answered.

“What’s up? Isn’t it too early for you to call?” Jake.

“Can you do something for me?” he ask straight to the point.

He heard him draws in a sigh, “Depends. What is it?”

“Get Doctor Cha fired for me. She’s getting in my nerves.” he said.

“Your psychiatrist?" he sounded so confused why he suddenly wants her fired.

“Mhm,” he hummed as answer and glanced at the traffic light when it turned green. He was about to step on it when the car behind him honked at him like crazy.

He looked over the side mirror and smirked with no humor. He drove and saw that the car was still behind him. Sunoo tries to focus on his friend while thinking of how to deal with the vehicle behind him. How dare that person honked at him using that ugly ass car.

“She called my Mom and now she’s pressuring me to go see that doctor again.” the bitterness over his tone was evident. Jake couldn’t help but to chuckle at what his friend said. He just can’t with Sunoo’s patience. He can get irritated too easily.

“All right, I’ll see what I can do.”

He decided to pull over to the side and Sunoo’s eyes followed the car when it overtake his car. He made sure to remember that plate number so he can take care of them later.

“Thanks, dude.”

“No problem.” and he ended the call.

His attention went over to his phone background. It was a picture of a smiling girl. Not just any girl. For Sunoo, she’s the prettiest out of all the girls he had ever met. Too bad, she left him.

His fist balled and jaw clenches as he carefully caress his thumb over his phone’s screen. “If only you’re here...” he mumbled softly, yet the hint of pain lingers in every word. “I wouldn’t need any of these. I would only need you.” he added.

Sunoo decided to stop over a café before he went to his class. Since the encounter a while ago stressed him a bit. He wouldn’t want to attend class with a bad mood. He needs to freshen up.

“Good day Sir, may I take your order?” the lady at the counter asks with a bright smile. Sunoo didn’t waste any time to say his order and he was asked to wait.

He tried to busy his phone while waiting on the line for his order. Minutes after, he heard his name being called by the cashier. He locked his phone then lifts his gaze to accept his order.

“Thank you.” he softly said then turned around.

“Oh my gosh!” you gasps when you suddenly bumped into someone because you’re in a hurry.

You are stoned in your position while looking at the mess you just did. The boy’s coffee is now all over his uniform. His head was hanging low, looking at his now stained polo. He cursed inside his mind and can feel his head turning hot.

He can’t believe it. ‘Can this day be any worst?’ Sunoo thought to himself. He pursed his lips tightly, trying to control his anger. He can still hear you mumbling incoherent words. It was obvious that you are panicking. Well, you should be.

“I am truly sorry!” your words snapped him back to reality. He slowly raised his head to look at you.

He was so ready to burst out his anger, but instead no words came out of his mouth. His heart stopped and his stares remained at your worried face. You are trying to get tissues from your bag as you start to catch the attention of some of the workers of the shop.

Sunoo’s mouth fell open at the sight in front of him. He couldn’t believe it. He’s out of words. He don’t know what to say or what to feel first. Is this even happening?

“H-Here, I have tissues. Oh my gosh, your shirt is stained..” you reached over his shirt and tried to even fix the mess you just caused.

“J-Jane?” your hand halt from what you were doing and you eyed the guy in front of you.

He have this unexplained look on his face. Like the look of being reunited with someone after a long time. You showed him an awkward smile.

“I’m s-sorry, but you must have got the wrong girl. My name is y/n.”

“Thank you so much, Sunoo! You don’t know how you just saved this day.” you gave him this warm smile. He pulled over in front of the gate of your school and smiled at you.

Your stomach churns at the sight of the handsome man beside you. He offered to give you a ride after knowing that you are very late for your class. It’s exams today so you couldn’t bear to be late. Thank God, Sunoo is so nice to help you even after you spilled his own drink over him.

“No problem. I’m glad I could help.” he said.

You nodded and quickly grabbed a pen and a paper to write your infos. He watched you silently then wait before you handed it to him.

‘Y/n.’ he read your name silently inside his mind. Below it is some of your social media accounts and number so he can contact you.

“I’m really sorry again for your shirt. You can pm me about the bill to get it cleaned. I will surely pay for it!” you said and unclasped the seatbelt.

“I told you, there’s no need for that.” he says that you quickly disagreed on.

“Please! You already saved me, at least let me treat you for lunch or something!”

His face lighten at your suggestion. “That I can’t say no.”

You beamed and pushed his door open. “That’s great! See you then!” and you left after sending him a small wave of good-bye.

Sunoo stayed for a moment and watched how you entered the school. His eyes are warm and he couldn’t stop himself to feel so happy. He felt excited and thrilled. A lot of things are going on inside his mind. Its a little overwhelming, but that doesn’t matter. What’s important is that he saw you. He found you, again. And he will never ever let you get away from him.

“Woah, what happened to you?” Sunoo threw a short glance over his friend when he walked closer and noticed his ruined shirt.

To his surprise, he isn’t in the bad mood like how he expects him to be. His friend knew how he hates it whenever his clothes gets dirty and just by the looks of it, someone must’ve spilled their drink over him. Sunoo wouldn’t let it pass easily. It needs a miracle for that person to be saved from his wrath.

“Hi.” Sunoo says in a light voice then tried to find a spare shirt inside his locker.

Jake blinked a couple of times and tilted his head over to the side. Totally confused.

“Hi? That’s all it? What happened to that?” referring to his awfully stained shirt.

“Oh! This? Y/n accidentally bumped onto me causing my drink to spill over my shirt.” he explains like it was nothing.

“And you’re okay with it?” Jake asked totally weirded about the fact that Sunoo was not going ballistic over it.

He nodded his head, a small smile present over his lips. Jake shakes his head.

“And who the fuck is y/n?” he’s now curious about this girl who made Sunoo act like this. This isn’t normal. She must have something to do with this.

Sunoo smiles wider when he found a new shirt. He pulls it out from his locker then smiled to his friend. “My Jane. She came back, Jake. She came back to me.”

Jake’s face instantly turned worried for his friend. He shut his eyes and sighed before tapping him over his shoulder.

“Sunoo, look man,” he starts. “Are you taking your meds?”

The smile over Sunoo’s lips disappeared and his eyes grew cold. “Why do everyone needs to be so annoying? I don’t need those stupid pills! Specially now that I have her back.”

He swat his hand away and start walking towards the comfort room. Sunoo even walks across with some of his friends but he ignored all of them then just proceeded on his way. Jake’s eyes follows his friend in total silence. He is very worried and concerned about his behavior.

“What was that? What happened to him?” Jay asked curiously. Sunghoon stood beside him silently, together with Ni-ki.

“He said he saw Jane.” Jake announced that made all of them furrow their brows in total confusion.

They all decided to just deal with it later on. The students were asked at the school auditorium for an emergency announcement. Sunoo was there when they all arrived and they go straight to him. He isn’t mad anymore and just smiled. Jake just tried to shrug what his friend said a while ago.

“I called all of you here because of a special announcement.” the principal spoke over the mic, catching everyone’s attention.

“Someone from our school went missing yesterday. I am asking for your help. The authorities will come to our school later on so if you have any leads about (girl’s name), then feel free to step in my office.”

Sunoo tries hard not to show any suspicious expressions then eyed Sunghoon. He’s looking at the stage. To the large picture printed by the girl’s family and friends. He was looking at it intensely. He taps his friend’s shoulder then leaned closer.

“So you did it, huh?” Sunoo whispers.

Sunghoon’s lips lifted a little before shrugging his shoulders off. “I’d like to watch them go crazy searching for her while she sleeps soundly at my basement.” he mumbles that made a soft chuckle out of Sunoo’s lips.

“I should ask you for advice. I could use some of it.” he said and your pretty face pops inside his mind.

Sunghoon pursed his lips and tilts his head over to the side. “Speaking of. Jake said you saw Jane?”

Sunoo nodded his head, eyes sparkling just by your name being mentioned.

“Well, her name is y/n. Don’t call her Jane anymore because it’ll upset her.” he draws in a sigh then leaned backwards. “I really think God brought her back to me because I’ve been very good the past few months. Don’t you think?” He glanced over his friend, waiting for his answer.

Sunghoon nods his head, “Probably. What’s your plan?”

Sunoo trailed his eyes back to the stage as the principal’s incoherent speech became their background. “Be her friend. This world is so dangerous, Hoon. She needs me around.”

Sunghoon snaps his head back to the stage as well as the best friend of (girl’s name) is now giving her speech. A small smirk plays through his lips.

“It is a dangerous world.”

“I’m sorry, were you waiting for so long?” you ask while settling your things at the vacant chair beside you.

Sunoo smiles, “No. I just arrived a few minutes before you.” he lied. He couldn’t wait to see you again and so he stalked you for a while then go here at the restaurant.

You let out a sigh of relief then smiled at him. “So what do you want to eat? My treat!” you sound excited and so he couldn’t help but to smile as well. You looked so adorable.

He slid a glass of water towards you, “I’ll order, but you should drink some water first. Its hot outside, you must’ve been tired from all that running.”

Your heart faltered at how caring he is. With a blushing cheeks you drink from the glass and the two of you ordered. The whole dinner was fun for you. He’s totally nice and well mannered. You can tell right away that he’s from a wealthy family. From how he dress and talks. Surely, he is well off.

You didn’t realized how long you two were together, but it seemed too short. The conversation just keeps on going. It was crazy how the two of you just clicks with each other. This may sound crazy, but its like he’s someone you met from before. You admit, you may have a little crush on him!

“Sunoo, huh?” your friend gave you this teasing smile while she put down her things at the table in the library.

Its been a whole week of meeting and spending time with Sunoo. It was going so well, that your friend took notice of how you’ve always been in a good mood ever since. You can’t help but to tell her about him.

“Yeah. He’s so great!”

She nodded her head and sat down. “Mhm. Kim Sunoo...” she trailed then furrowed her brows a little. “Why do I feel like I’ve heard that name before?”

You opened your textbook, “His parents are very wealthy so you must have heard his name from tv or read it on tabloids.”

She shrugged her shoulders off, “You’re probably right. Tell me more!” she sounded excited and a big smile crawled over your face before you started telling her stories about you and Sunoo. Your mission to study, now long forgotten.

”Bye, y/n!” your friend waved at you as you walk towards Sunoo. He’s leaning over his car while patiently waiting for you.

He glanced at your friend and she gave her a small wave. Sunoo smiled and nodded his head insincere. Your friend’s smile faltered a bit, sensing something about him. When you glanced at Sunoo, he smiled brightly then meet you half way to help you with your stuff.

He opened the door for you. Even if he did this a lot of times already, you couldn’t help but to blush every time.

“How’s your day, pretty?” he asks and buckles his seatbelt.

You smiled, “Good! We have a lot of things to study. Ugh I hate out biology teacher.” you ranted that made him chuckle.

“You’re doing so well. You deserve a treat. Ice cream?”

“You are really my savior.” you mumbled and leaned in to give him a kiss at his cheeks. It made him happy, very happy.

And that’s the start of your unexpected relationship with Sunoo. You don’t have a clue when you started to feel this comfortable and happy around him. It just did. Days, weeks and then a month passed by and he didn’t changed. He remained the same sweet and caring Kim Sunoo. You must admit, he totally got your trust. You are falling for him.

It may not be noticeable by you, but to your friend it is. This thing that’s going on with Sunoo and you is bothering her. Yes, she can see that you are happy and as your friend, of course she is happy for you. Its just, Kim Sunoo. There’s something with the way he looks at her whenever she hangs out together with you. She couldn’t point out what it is, but she’s uncomfortable about it. She sense that something’s wrong with him.

She did tried to mention this with you, but you get defensive about. Saying that he’s just shy around new people and etc. There even a time where you totally got pissed at her for talking nonsense. That rarely happens. You aren’t the type to be pissed at her over these things. For some reasons, she feels like Sunoo’s taking you away from her.

One day, when you got stuck over some school project and you have to stay behind late, you suddenly started to get followed by someone. You are very scared and started to panic. Your phone died hours ago already so you can’t use it to call anyone for help. It is also pretty late so there are no one on the streets.

You thought something bad will happen to you when thankfully, Sunoo appeared and save you. He hugged you tightly and mumbled comforting words to calm you down. You are a crying mess, but you feel relieved that he was there for you.

“What?!” you heard your friend exclaimed from the other line after you informed her about what happened.

You sniffed and watched over Sunoo who’s busy preparing a meal for you at your kitchen. A smile creeped over your lips.

“Yeah, thankfully Sunoo was there to save me.” you said that made her brows furrow in suspicion.

“Did you call for him?” she asks.

“No. I told you my phone died hours ago, mainly why I only called you now.”

That’s what she has to hear to confirm it that you didn’t have a phone to use to call him.

“Why is he there?” she ask the million-dollar question that’s been bothering her from the start.

“He was taking a walk.” you answered what Sunoo told you a while ago when you asked him the same question.

“At this time? Y/n he even lives far from your place! How come he is coincidentally walking over the street at that time of the night and bump into you?” clearly, things aren’t making any sense and you are too ignorant to understand it.

“I don’t know! Aren’t you just happy that he saved me and that I’m okay?” you’re starting to feel upset.

She sighed and shut her eyes. “Right. I’m sorry y/n. I was just really worried. I will just change and go there, okay?”

You pouted, “Okay.”

The moment you dropped the call, the thought didn’t left your best friend’s mind. She’s sure that something’s wrong him and she won’t just sit here and let you be in trouble.

She quickly opened her laptop and went to search for any useful information about Kim Sunoo. She had done this weeks ago, but she stopped because she feels like she’s betraying you for actually thinking ill of someone that makes you happy. But now, she knew she had to do this. She needs to dig more.

After searching and searching, she almost gave up but then one single article caught her eyes. It was almost impossible to find and have no attention. She clicked it and hand flew over her lips as she read the big letters of the letters of the article.

“Shit.” she mumbled and quickly grabbed her keys to go drive towards your place.

“You feeling all right?” he asks softly and you nodded your head with a small smile. He nodded and placed a gentle kiss at your forehead.

“Yes.”

You two stared at each other’s eyes, nobody dares to look away. You can feel your heart thumping fast, thousands of emotions occupying your chest. Having him this close to you just makes you feel safe.

You got pulled out of trance when you heard the doorbell rang. Both of you turns your head at the direction of it.

“That must be (friend’s name).” you told him.

He flashes you a smile. “Great. I’ll let her in then you two can talk here in your room while I do the dishes.” he says then pats your head before he go open the door for your friend.

When the door swings open, she’s not surprised to see Sunoo. He have this same smile over his lips that she can’t explain. She smiled back and tried to not act too obvious. “Hi! Thanks for safely getting her home. Where is she?” she asks.

Sunoo didn’t replied right away, but then opened the door wider for her. “At her room.” he finally said then lets her inside.

Her steps felt heavier as she go in the apartment. She gulped and smiled before saying that she will just go and talk to you.

Your friend closed your bedroom door right after she managed to get inside.

“Y/n, I need to tell you something.” she whispered and even roamed her eyes around anxiously.

Your brows furrowed, finding her actions a little weird.

“Why are you whispering?”

She shushed you and held both of your hands. “Listen, don’t freak out. You have to come with me. We have to leave.” she continued whispering.

“What? Why? What’s going on?” you are starting to feel anxious as well.

“Its dangerous here. I don’t have the time to explain, we just have to go leave. Now.” her tone sound so serious and you can see in her eyes that she’s really scared.

It made you worried too. You’ve never seen her this way before.

“Wait. Where’s Sunoo? Is he all right? We have to tell him!” you exclaimed worriedly and stood up to come and get him.

Your friend grabbed by your arm to stop you. “Stop! No! You don’t understand,” he said and made you stop completely.

“HE is the danger.”

You stared at her with a confused expression that slowly turned into an unamused one. You sighed, “This again? Really? How many times will I have to tell you? Sunoo is the one who saved me!”

You are slowly getting tired of her telling you that there’s something wrong with Sunoo. This is getting out of hand. She’s seriously trying to break you two apart. Sunoo was right. She doesn’t like him for you and now you are doing this stuff to make you hate him.

“No! I’m sure now! I have proof,” she said, eyes starting to water. She go through her phone’s galler to find a screenshot she just took.

You shoved her hold away and moved back, “Leave.”

Her eyes darted at you. “Y/n...” she starts and took a step closer. “Its him! He’s trying to make you believe that he’s a good guy, but he isn't! He’s doing this to manipulate you into hating me!” she burst out, can’t really hold it anymore.

You slowly shakes your head. Your heart is aching because of her doing all of these. You just wanted someone to be there for you all the time, to love and care for you. And she knows that. Then why would she do this to ruin everything?

“I said leave!” you screamed.

She wipes her tears and nodded her head. “Don’t tell me I didn’t warned you.” was her last words before she stormed out of your bedroom. You plopped down the floor and cried.

Your friend didn’t saw Sunoo when she walks out, but that’s the last of her concern. Her mind is a mess and her heart is aching because of your fight. When she went out of your apartment, her steps halted because Sunoo was leaning over the wall.

He pushed himself off and put his hands inside his pocket. Her chest hammered in fear. She knows how he can be dangerous. Right after she saw and read that article, she knew what he’s capable of.

He smiled, “I’d give it to you for trying.” he said, taunting.

A tear left her eye, “You won’t get away with this. Leave y/n alone!”

He sighed, “But how can I do that if that will break her heart? You don’t want your friend hurt, do you?”

She kept her glaring stares at him. His smile slowly disappeared and that made her heart fell.

“The only person who should leave her life is you.” and with that, someone from her back suddenly covers her mouth and nose. She tried to fight back, hitting whoever that is from behind, but they were too strong. She can slowly feel her body giving in, her consciousness leaving her.

The last thing she can remember was Sunoo going inside your apartment, then everything turned black.

On the other hand, your head snaps at the door when Sunoo enters your bedroom. You quickly stood up and hugged him.

“Shh, I’m here.” he mumbled softly then made you sit down at your bed.

You followed and he kneeled in front of you so he can see your face perfectly. He handed you a glass of water.

“Drink this so you can calm down.” you accepted it and drink all of it.

“I don’t u-understand what’s got into her! She kept on saying that you are a bad person and that you are dangerous! She said that you’re making me hate her so I’ll push her away. She said you don’t like her around me.” you continued ranting and ranting while he holds your hand.

He just watched you, gently caressing your hands and placing kisses at the back of it from time to time. He didn’t talk for awhile, only your cries can be heard around your bedroom.

“She’s right tho,” he started that caught you off-guard.

“W-What?” you asked, confused.

Sunoo smiled, his sweet and angelic smile.

“I don’t like her around you. In fact, I don’t like anyone to be near you. It should only be me. You’ll only need me, Y/n.” he said that made your heart pounding hard.

You slowly pulled your hand off from his hold.

“N-No... I d-don’t understand.” you mumbled and started to move away from him.

Suddenly, all of your friend's words flashes through your mind, regret coming after. It was too late to even realize things. Sunoo stood straight and watch you silently. He didn’t seem like he’s in panic, he just stared at you.

Slowly, you start to feel tired and sleepy. Then you remembered the water he made you drink. It was too late, but you stood up and tried to run away. Sunoo grabbed you by your arm, and you’re too weak to even fight him.

“Its all right, baby. Everything’s going to be alright.” he mumbles and placed a kiss at your forehead before you finally lose your consciousness.

“Son, what is it? Are you okay?” her Mother’s voice sounded so alarmed because he ringed him so suddenly.

Sunoo sighed, “Something happened and I need help.”

His Mom instantly felt worried and excused herself from the meeting before going in a secluded place.

“Oh God, Kim Sunoo! What did you do again? Tell me you didn’t—”

“Mom, don’t worry. Its not like that. I just need you to clean some things for me.”

His Mom was silent for a while and her heart is aching for her son. A lot of people may find her unbelievable if they knew what things she can do for him. Can they blame her? Its her son! Of course she would do anything for him. Even if it means to clean after his mess.

She sighed, “Okay. I’ll send some people to do the job.”

Sunoo smiled, “Thank you, Mom. I love you. I’ll talk to you later, my friends are here.” he said and turns his head to the side when they saw his friends pulling over in front of their vacation house.

“Where is she?” Jake asked and Sunoo pointed the room on the left. He sighed and went there to go check if she’s all right.

Ni-ki sat down at the sofa together with Jay and Sunghoon. Jungwon came inside with Heeseung, both of them have this worried look for their friend.

“Sunoo hyung, you shouldn’t act impulsively.” the younger one scolds him. He just rolled his eyes at it.

Heeseung sighed and taps his shoulder, “Please get a hold of yourself and don’t get too carried away again.”

“Yes, Heeseung hyung is right. Take it easy, dude.” Jay followed.

“Calm down, I got this. Now that I have this second chance, I wouldn’t waste it.” he said, assuring his friends that he’s totally all right.

“You better not go lose yourself again, Sunoo.” Sunghoon warned him, eyes glued over his phone.

Sunoo scoffed and glanced at the direction of the room you are in. A small smile spreads over his face.

“Don’t worry, I won’t kill her this time. I won’t make the same mistake again that I’ve done before.” he said then glanced down at the phone he was holding. It was your friend’s phone and the photo of the article she took was flashing over it.

‘KIM SUNOO, HEIR OF THE KIM GROUP OF COMPANIES HAVE SAID TO BE THE SUSPECT FOR KILLING HIS OWN GIRLFRIEND, JANE CHOI.’ Read more...

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[eldritch-spouse]

For fuck's sake, now 3 new characters to obsess over- PINNIE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HAVE MERCY ON MY GOLDFISH CRACKER OF A BRAIN, I CAN'T HANDLE THEM ALL! WITH THIS MANY, YOU CAN EVEN START YOUR OWN POKEDEX! HOW YOU DO THAT? I WANT TOO. I CAN COUNT WITH ONE HAND HOW MANY OCS I'VE MADE IN ALL MY LIFE!

WHO IS FUCKING AND IMPREGNATING YOUR BRAIN THIS GOOD TO BE BIRTHING COOL OCS LEFT AND RIGHT? SEND THE INSPIRATION STUD TO ME TOO! I- uh, I'm sure you HAVE A STACK OF THOSE INK BLOBS PSYCHIATRISTS HAVE TO DISASSOCIATE AND GET IDEAS, I'M GONNA DO THAT TOO, WITNESS ME!

Anon.

My brain is like a constantly overflowing bucket, and I don't know any other state of being.

I can't stop making characters. And I know that you're already alarmed, but like, there's at least like five others already cooked that I just haven't found the right opening for.

It's not that someone's impregnating my brain, my brain is like a suriname toad and these fuckers just pop out from time to time.

Anyways- Thenk you! I don't necessarily recommend you have as many characters as I do, but I appreciate it. :7

[twopoppies]

Gina , am I the only one who regrets having a kid ? Is it normal to have regrets ? I feel tied down and my husband is so free. Do people enjoy being a parent ?

Hi love. Plenty of people enjoy being parents. But almost no one talks about the difficulties and the downsides. I don’t know how long you’ve been a parent but I’m assuming it’s fairly new, so my suggestions would be:

1. Make sure you have a support system. You need to find a way to have time to yourself by having a someone who can take over when you need it (family, babysitter, friends, etc). I highly recommend parent groups. Facebook is probably a good place to look if you don’t know anywhere else to go. You can usually find local groups that meet up at parks or play spaces. I had twins, so there were numerous groups focused on raising multiples. It’s incredibly helpful to connect with other parents going through things at the same time you are.

2. Therapy if it’s financially feasible. There are also many therapists who will see clients on a sliding scale or in small groups in order to cut the costs. I can’t express the value of having a trained and unbiased sounding board enough.

3. See a psychiatrist (again, if financially feasible. If not, speak to your GP). Pregnancy and the trauma of giving birth drastically change your hormones. Lack of sleep and stress affect everything. It’s not at all unlikely that you could need medication to help regulate your mood and thought patterns.

4. Talk to your husband. In my experience, men really don’t understand how hard being a mother is. Especially if you’re at home and they go to work every day. It’s lovely that he feels free (although, that may just be your interpretation. Again… talk to him), but it shouldn’t be at the expense of your mental health. It’s possible you’ve given him the impression that you’ve got it all under control, or you don’t like the way he does things, etc. It’s possible he feels intimidated or overwhelmed. It’s possible he’s just totally clueless (would not be surprised by this at all).

I’ve been a parent for seventeen years and as much as I know and have experience with, there’s always something new and it’s really fucking hard to keep your head above water sometimes. I’m sending you lots of love. You can do this. But it’s exponentially harder to do it alone. Reach out and get the help you need. You’ll be a much better mom (and much happier person) as a result. 💖💖💖