#send as many. in fact i actively encourage you to send multiple questions

[crispycreambacon]

I so badly wanna ramble about Yazrin (my version of the Genie who is a trans woman) but I have no idea what to ramble about or what to talk about hAGHAAAAAAAAAAAA

If you see this and wanna know more about her, please ask questions either in asks or comments or via mailing a letter to my home address (I will sideeye you if you use the last method though) I will be very very serotonin-filled and delighted to answer

Small note: the Trans Woman!Genie AU is packaged with "The Professor and the Genie rekindling their friendship" AU

[smilestrawbunny]

Hey! Just a heads up, I'm sending this to multiple people, since I wanna get as many different viewpoints on this as I can. I hope this doesn't bother you. Also, this is pretty long.

So, I have a question about gamedev, but more on the marketing/presence side.

Most gamedevs I know, even hobbyist ones, keep their accounts relatively professional. Sure, they may shitpost here and there, but it's mostly in relation to their games, the gamedev sphere in general, or very general inoffensive stuff. And, most importantly, I've seldom seen my favorite gamedevs (or any of my favorite internet personalities, for that matter) comment on random videos unrelated to what type of content they usually post.

All of my social media accounts are quite unprofessional. I've also had them for a long time, so there are a few things on my digital footprint that I'd rather people not see. I also, for lack of a better way of explaining, watch and read random shit and like to leave comments on it sometimes.

I feel like, I were to become a gamedev, I wouldn't be able to do that anymore. I'd have to treat my internet presence as its own balancing act, rather than a place for me to express myself unabashedly. I know this is working under the assumption that I would get big and that people would give a damn about me, but there is always the off chance of that happening. Of a random game you make suddenly blowing up because it hit the algorithm just right. So it's better to be prepared. And even if I don't get that big boom in popularity, I still plan to at least make games consistently enough to build a community of their own. Nothing like, huge, but I really enjoy the idea of people enjoying my work and sharing that enjoyment with others. But I don't want that to cross over into my personal life!

I know that's not an impossible feat, but I feel like it kind of destroys the purpose of the internet for me. To me, it's always been a safe space where I could express myself and easily connect with people with similar viewpoints, but I am now coming to odds with this concept as I consider how I want to become a gamedev.

There's also the side note that I don't wanna rebrand. At least not completely. I don't mind cleaning up my accounts or deleting some old ones, but I've grown very attached to being "Quamai". I can't imagine myself having any other online identity, even if there are some cringy moments attached to it.

So, do you have any advice for my situation? How did you personally go about your own online image, and what do you think is the best course of action?

Thank you in advance!

Oh, I am such a funny person to come to about this- I never let being a game dev stop me from interacting with works I like, haha! Maybe that’s just because I’m a smaller creator, though. Just recently I posted death note fan art, I’m currently working up the courage to post about fandom related ocs, and I’m hosting a game jam encouraging fan works that might be considered “cringy.”

The people who like you and your work will still be there regardless. You can count on that as a fact! So why should you stop yourself from having fun?

Life is far too short to be worried about your public image to such a high degree. Like you said, these are already things that you actively do to express yourself and enjoy! So if it gives you any semblance of comfort, I’ll start doing even more “unprofessional” things to help you out there <3 /pos

[briteboy]

Someone is sending an ask about your past blog and your fanfic you wrote about two teen anime boys. I suggest you acknowledge it on this blog to let people know instead of trying to rebrand and have a “redemption arc” when what you did is more than wrong, it’s disgusting

if i was really trying to rebrand i wouldn't leave my previous url permanently in my header so people wouldn't forget. ("redemption arc" is from an anon message i received, just for clarification.) i've said this before, but i'll reiterate: anyone who's curious can go to that url and see the post that lives there where i've made my final statement about the situation (and reposted on this blog as well at the time), where i also make it clear that i'm not "rebranding"...i simply got sick of my last url. believe it or not i am just a person and not everything i do is purposely diabolical.

i've tried to handle this as responsibly as i can, i've spoken about this ad nauseam and i've apologized multiple times. what more am i supposed to do or say if i'm not actively harming anyone or contributing to the problem, and haven't been for years now? genuinely asking. like...yeah, it was weird and gross. i'm not disagreeing with you. i'm sorry and i'd go back in time to stop myself from writing fanfiction of aged up personifications of teenage anime characters– or better yet, urge my even younger self to question the norms of fandoms and the like that i'd grown up in, where this was commonplace– if i could.

i don't know how many different ways i can make it clear that i'm not even remotely the same person i was then in any capacity. anyone who's known me for years could tell you this. i could apologize again and again but people would still hold it against me. so at this point i think it's well within my rights to live my life and enjoy my hobbies (completely unrelated to the situation at hand) without being indebted to those who know me through the narrow lens of sims tumblr for a mistake i made 5 years ago and took accountability for at the time, and again even now. as long as this keeps being rehashed, i will continue to do so. it's all i can do.

i know that very insular online communities like to think some people are just Bad Forever but that's just not how life works, especially in the case of ignorance where people actually take the time to reflect, learn and grow after realizing the wrongness of their actions. but if believing that makes you feel more comfortable, then i invite you not to engage with me. we're both better off that way. more than that, i encourage you to consider the fact that people change. that's all i have to say.

[tacticalhimbo]

SO WHAT IS TUMBLR'S SURVEY?

I'm not sure if this is something people are seeing site-wide, but the Tumblr staff is asking users to sign up and complete a survey regarding feedback, prototype-testing, and such. You may have seen this banner at the top of your dashboard:

I recognize, after giving them my blog information, that it is very unlikely they will reach out to me for such matters despite giving my consent...

But seemingly unlike Tumblr's staff, I value transparency! So, I'm going to talk about what's on there, and what I personally responded with.

Some quick disclaimers:

I am not asking for people to copy/paste or use my answers to influence their own survey responses. In fact, I discourage directly copying answers or "spamming"/"overloading" the survey. If you, as an individual, agree with the points I have brought up, please voice them in your own words and in your own survey response.

I am not violating any known terms by discussing this survey, as there is no confidentiality agreement present upon beginning the survey.

Everything I mention in this post, as well as in my response, are alleged (excluding details surrounding Tumblr's NYCCHR Settlement, which is publicly accessible information -> Summary of NYC Gov. Settlements [ LINK ] and NYCCHR Settlement Documentation [ LINK ].

With that out of the way, let's get started.

The survey itself is pretty standard in terms of engagement and feedback. It is hosted by Crowdsignal, which is Automatic's own platform hosted under Wordpress (re: you use a Wordpress account, or it is highly encouraged to use said account, to create a Crowdsignal account). It features type-box responses, as well as a few typical Likert-scale questions.

As for the content, it begins standard. As the company states they wish to gain a wide array of responses, the first group of questions is pretty straightforward: When did you first join Tumblr, when is the last time you used Tumblr, how often do you use Tumblr, etc.

There is an interesting question, Question 4, asking users to rank their average activity on Tumblr. The activities are things such as reblogging posts, liking posts, sending direct messages, etc etc., and has a ranking system from "Never" to "Always", with a "Not Sure" option for those who aren't sure how to rank.

Then, we start to get into the meat of the survey a little. At least, for vocal little assholes like me. The next question is "Which of the following purchases have you made on Tumblr?"

And questions structured like this one, with multiple choice boxes and an "Other" type-box… Allow for feedback. So I gave some.

In response to being asked about my purchase history, I selected "None", then used the type-box to respond with the following:

I refuse to financially support Tumblr until the company and its employees uphold the promises made by themselves, and in accordance with the NYCCHR Settlement regarding blatant discrimination against its userbase on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity, as well as their less-investigated biases against BIPOC bloggers, particularly those that are Black.

There's a few more standard selection questions regarding the method(s) one uses to visit Tumblr, as well as what interest areas (e.g., fandom, gaming) you interact with. They also ask about how many primary accounts and sideblogs you have…

Then they strike again. The first question asking for a solely written response is summarizing the typical activities one does on Tumblr. The second, however, is much more intriguing:

"If you could change one thing about Tumblr, what would it be and why? If you would not change anything, please explain why."

There are… many things. But they asked for one, so I gave them one:

If I could change one thing about Tumblr, it would be the site moderation. Users have brought the seeming lack of moderation to attention time and time again, only to be met with waves of discriminatory moderation application. Appropriately filtered content gets deleted, or a blog banned, whilst hate speech and active harassment campaigns (particularly against LGBTQ+ and BIPOC individuals) are not only allowed to remain on the site, but often allowed/approved to be Blazed. Time and time again, too, the website's staff has promised that things would be fixed. Time and time again, including in the window following the NYCCHR Settlement, the site staff has not only not made any notable work on fixing these rampant issues, but has doubled-down and blamed its userbase for a lack of financial support.

In short, the moderation system. And this should be a surprise to nobody that follows me, as I've posted time and time again about how… poor, this system is. Whether it was my own experiences, or the experiences of those who have since had to rebuild their platforms, or who have had to outright leave the site due to the incessant harassment campaigns.

And then there's another small lull in questioning, which asks about the search functionality. Personally, if I were one to design this survey, I would have swapped Questions 12 and 13… But I acknowledge that 1) I have recency bias in discussing the moderation system and 2) it's possible that whoever is on the metrics team creating this survey simply is unaware that this may be (or is, depending on the crowd) the hottest issue on Tumblr. But I digress, let's jump to Question 13:

"How satisfied are you with the current system for reporting harassment on Tumblr?"

Now… If you've read this far, you know my answer. If you've followed me for more than a day, you know my answer. So I will let the survey response speak for itself:

The current system for reporting harassment is comical at best, and adversarial at worst. There have been many times that I have reported hate speech, graphic depictions of violence, and similarly harmful content, only to receive no follow-up / to see that the content is allowed to remain. This includes things found in tags, on the dashboard, and through the site's Blaze campaign. Yet, I too have seen posts about queerness (posts not sexual in nature, nor depicting anything else violating the ToS) be censored, removed, and flagged for being "inappropriate" for the userbase. At the VERY LEAST, I believe the system could be better if there were actual communication between the staff and the user, and if the report form were easier to locate. Reddit's moderation system, for example, works effectively not only in properly removing harmful content, but in communicating that these reports are being received and acknowledged.

From here, there aren't many options for feedback. The survey's focus shifts into the prototype-testing side of things. Determining what devices the user has access to, if they've been involved in prior research interviews/focus groups, if there's interest in these programs, etc etc.

So I fill it out accordingly (showing interest in providing feedback via virtual tests and sharing screens), give them my preferred email (not the one I use for Tumblr, but the story behind that is long and boring, and I'd rather forget it), age range, and my blog name.

Hello poor staffer who has to vet me! I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at your CEO.

And then you can receive a copy via email, if you provide it again. As someone who values transparency (and receipts), I would recommend doing this regardless of if you give in-depth feedback or not.

It's just nice to have a copy of the information you provided, as you may be asked to recall it upon being selected for any future communications.

In short, Tumblr has opened a channel for feedback and I do encourage people to give that feedback, regardless of if you're interested in the prototypes and interviews and whatever. You are a user of the platform. You have a voice; let it be heard!

[jeriafterdark]

813 - The Reprise - BIG NEWS for ZZH! Part 5/?

Masterpost here

Big news on X-mas Eve! LONG POST!! So much has happened for ZZH, let's start with some memes to lighten the mood:

Love this meme. “Someone saying their timeline looks like this now - all jzps and GJ waiting for the news from Uncle Li”

Let’s get right to THE BIG NEWS.

1. Dec 24 - ZZH’s case is accepted by the Beijing Chaoyang Police!!!

^^^That's Hanhan's hand btw, and signature!

This means that they’ve found his case has standing and will do a criminal investigation. It will also lead to multiple civil suits that Uncle Li says are underway! All of Weibo is out of their coffins now lol, MULTIPLE tags are being flooded with joyous comments. Weibo is constantly shutting them down though, but people keep making more.

ZZH told Uncle Li that he tried to file a case before, but they wouldn’t accept it? And/or he was too afraid of the massive cyberbullying to step out of the house :( (I would be angry but this is no time to be angry, I’m happy he’s finally getting justice underway). Thanks to Uncle Li and many legal experts, they’ve encouraged him to file a police report, which has finally succeeded!

2. Dec 24 - What next steps could there be?

This user translated a CN lawyer’s perspective. Basically, the police will make a prelim. Investigation to establish the basic facts and whether a crime was committed.

“Typically if the police feels a case doesn’t meet the criteria to establish a criminal matter, they will tell the complainant to just go file a lawsuit themselves, they won’t bother to accept a report.”

Once all the facts are defined, they’ll send it over to the public prosecutor, who will refer the case to court. Then the victim can sue for secondary civil lawsuits for damages (fingers crossed). This process might take awhile, so let’s all celebrate the small steps and wait patiently, justice is finally happening!!!

3. Dec 24 - Uncle Li posted a video explaining everything

Amber did a wonderful translation of this here. He basically reiterates that ZZH did nothing wrong, and if he did, Li would support his punishment. He’s not whitewashing anyone, just standing up for what is right. Uncle Li’s been so active these past few weeks, slowly plugging away at all the lies that have been written about ZZH, and turning public opinion so much so that ZH could finally file a police report. What a guy, I’m so very grateful for him. Uncle Li further questions CAPA about how they don’t even name the people on their very own “Moral Self-discipline Committee,” so why should they have the ability to make a boycott list? CAPA even tried to ban Uncle Li, but ofc he’s not afraid bc he’s not actually done anything wrong.

>>> “The power of justice is powerful. it may be late, but it will never be absent. We should repay the society with warmth and gratitude.”

A note from OP on this… I can see why Uncle Li always stresses to thank the authorities, thank the public, and thank the multitude of platforms for being on the side of justice. Because if you want someone to do something, you can thank them for doing it first, and then they’ll go along with you (even if they haven’t done anything yet, or they’ve done the opposite of what you want). It’s a useful persuasive tactic. I interpret it as thus: he recognizes that the public, the platforms, CAPA, etc all have their hands in what happened to ZZH. But calling people out specifically won’t really help. So if one looks to the brighter side, and just assumes that betterness in people exists, then it looks better publicly and still accomplishes his goal. But make no mistake, it was BECAUSE of these platforms, CAPA, the public’s ready willingness to be whipped up into a frenzy over fabricated photos and antis and water armies, it was BECAUSE of these things and these people, that this all happened in the first place. Forgive, but don’t forget. How else will we learn lessons for the future?

And justice being late… justice is only capable at all because one citizen, with the perfect background, prowess, age, circumstance, decided to step up for ZZH - Li Xuezheng. Uncle Li. For many others, justice never came. No one stood up. Let’s remember that Uncle Li is an aberration; he is setting the precedence for everyone to come (in c-ent). Walking first so others may walk after. After this is all over, I hope people will follow his example and stand up for what’s right. Given that they have the power to, that is. This isn’t to put a damper on the celebrations, it’s just to keep in mind, justice should be a right, but it’s really a privilege. It is easily stripped from our most vulnerable. I hope that Uncle Li’s example will inspire more people to stand up.

4. Dec 23 - National Radio/TV Admin (NRTA) and Ministry of Culture and Tourism (MCT) set forth statements denying ever censuring ZZH

From this user, Uncle Li posted the letter from NRTA responding to a citizen’s request if they agency:

>>>Add him into immoral entertainers list

Deplatform

Take down works

Take down his products

Initiate industry wide boycott

Asked CAPA to release statement against him

NRTA wrote back that such information doesn't exist because their agency never created such content.

Uncle Li posted a video on this. Essentially, they denied ever labelling ZZH as an immoral or illegal artist. They denied requesting that the platforms take his works down. They didn’t do shit to ZZH. So they’ve effectively punted the ball back into CAPA’s court. CAPA has been claiming that it has gov. authority in its decisions, but now that the actual relevant gov. branch said they didn’t have anything to do with it, they swear, now CAPA is in extra hot water.

This is the NRTA/MCT letter they’re referring to.

5. Dec 23 - Hashtags including ZZH’s name and LLD are now searchable

Langlangding, the cp name for ZZH/GJ, Junzhe, and WKX/ZZS, is now searchable again on Weibo. Small steps forward!

You can also now search his name in Douyin (the tiktok equivalent in CN).

6. Dec 23 - Local Russian Newspaper writes a small article on ZZH - cited his Ma’s letter, positive, even a local band wants to support by recording a song

This is cute, I didn’t realize there were that many fans in Russia??? More power to them!

Final Note for the day:

Happy holidays, sweet celebrations for all today! Especially our dear Hanhan. I’m so happy that he’s finally got justice on his side. I’m happy for Uncle Li, the hero who decided to stand up for him and for everyone in c-ent. Let’s take this as a victory everyone, and carry it into our holidays. I will update if any more big news happens :)

Thanks for reading, have a safe holiday!

[sdv-mostly-shane]

Hello! January is birthday month for my children, and now that we got the last one down, time to get right back in ~ In the spirit of parenthood, here’s some Stardew Parent Headcannons of all the marriage candidates -

Stardew Valley Imagines : Parent Headcannons

Bachelors

Alex

The kind of dad to be at every appointment/interview/inspection and cry at every point of progress “we’re one step closer to our beautiful baby”

Will absolutely cry once he holds that baby, and will have a hard time letting them go to his partner

Baby wearing extraordinaire- has multiple options for different occasions

Matching track suits to hide the fact that they were both a hot mess that morning trying to get out the door, but they did it, so time to celebrate

Would ironically have a brainiac child that he is absolutely enamoured with and admires - he sits at their little table, spilling out of the tiny chair, but refuses to budge because his baby is telling him about the water cycle of the Earth, and he doesn’t want to miss a thing

Elliot

A very ‘hands off’ parent - will observe them at play and not pressure them in any particular way

Probably a Waldorf dad

Sits his babies in his lap every night to read- they are the first ones he tests out a new limerick on, and respects their criticisms as much as their praise

Lots of evening walks down the sea shore and the forest edge.

Out of the bachelors, I think would be the most sensitive/attune to them, and would be great at breaking down their complex emotions and thoughts, and would especially be so with any neurodivergent children.

Harvey

The type to plop down a stack of parenting and pediatric books on the dining room table as soon as you two have decided to welcome children into your lives

Is the one to show the farmer how to change a diaper

In fact, just count Harvey as the one to be the party planning, baby book filling, milestone documenting professional. He’s got it covered.

Loves the newborn stage, is terrified of toddlerhood, but then back in control once they’re like 6. And then terrified again once they are teenagers (his kids actually consider him a friend as well as a father and actually enjoy hanging out with him (sometimes))

100% a helicopter parent, but more so the ‘I love you so much I don’t want you to ever experience any pain’ type of way

Sam

Probably has an accidental love child at one point

You can find him in bed with the baby, singing songs together, while he spikes the baby’s hair nice and tall

Do you honestly think this young man would not use every dad joke ever known? Because he would- and he would find them all absolutely hilarious

The fun dad that will also actively try to embarrass his kids in front of their friends

Keeps his kids home for “sick days” to sit on the couch together, no pants, no homework, and all laughter.

Sebastian

Would be stressed when they are newborns, but relax as they get older. By the time they’re teens, he would have cultivated a very trust and respect-based relationship with them where his kids are comfortable telling him anything

You’ll find him quietly at every event, game, recital, competition, imaginable. Supporting his children with his presence and then taking them out that evening to do something fun, crazy, or maybe even a little dangerous

His most fond parenting moments are when the baby is in their bouncer right besides him, happily babbling away and smiling at him, while he does his work at the computer. Quality time is his baby love language.

The type of dad to patiently and honestly answer his children’s millions of questions about anything and everything.

Will absolutely take them out to splash in the puddles when it rains (but then will also send them straight to the bath)

Shane

Is already pretty experienced in the parenting realm, but is thrown into a whole new adventure with the newborn phase. Finds himself to truly LOVE babies and toddlers

“Hm, can’t sleep? Let’s go get a snack.” “But dad, it’s 1AM” “I do this all the time, don’t worry. Just don’t tell [parent]”

Would let his kids roam free, but only if he is supervising, and is actually kinda strict/short. Absolutely fears losing his children and will do anything and everything to make sure they grow up safe and cared for.

A very stressed daddy but only because he loves his children so much that he would die if anything happened to them

The best cuddler out of all the bachelor parents. Wanna soft spot to curl up on the couch? He’s already passed out with his head back, snoring. His nice pudgy ‘dad’ belly makes the perfect pillow to rest baby heads on while he reads a book.

Bachelorettes

Abigail

The fun parent.

The kind that wakes up early on a Saturday with their kids, just as excited as they are, to eat sugar cereal and watch a show together.

Is always down to play (especially play fight). Will (endearingly) spook their partner a bit when they rough house because Abby has that wild feral look in her eye too often

The competitive parent that gets just a liiiitle too involved in whatever sport/organization/fair/et.al that the child is partaking in-all in good fun, of course.

I can picture her taking her child out to the forest, late at night, to lay on the soft moss. She’d tell them about monsters, lore, crystals, and everything supernatural and mystic. Whispering in the dark as they point up to the stars and laugh and laugh and laugh

Emily

Hippy granola mom to a T - have you seen her “organic quinoa and fresh goat milk” quote? She’d do anything to provide the best that nature has to offer her children

While her disposition toward her children is incredibly loving and free-spirited, she would probably be very resposible and stressed about doing right for her children

Would absolutely take her children by the hand, in various states of dress (jammies? Okay. Just a diaper? Alright. Ballgown? Let’s go), out to the forest with handmade woven baskets to collect all the gifts from the Earth that they can find

Absolutely the Craft Mom - she’d be all about enrichment, sensory play, and fostering a creative spirit

Tells the best stories. After bedtime routine, will sit with her children in thrir bed, and will tell stories of magic, of love, and of adventure. Her kids, eyes bright, won’t want the night to end, because mom is showing us how much wonder and mystery is in the world

Haley

So gentle and so sweet with her kids, but can send them running with just a ‘look’

Would be a nervous wreck the first go round, but an absolute master by the time the second comes around

Helicopter parent that obsesses over every milestone, growth, and accomplishment of their child. SO proud of them and can’t wait to praise them and brag about them.

The wonder parent that can do it all while looking absolutely breathtaking. She makes it look easy once she gets the hang of it

Can’t you just picture her and her baby girl in matching flowy Daisy sundresses dresses with pink ribbons in their beautiful blonde curls, chasing after each other barefoot in the fields, while the golden grass dances in the wind- gah I love this pretty pretty princess so much.

Leah

Cool Wine mom that drives a Subaru

Would absolutely read her child to bed every night, until they fell asleep.

Her transition into motherhood was flawless. She’s a natural parent who just loves in abundance

Soooo many nature walks, hikes, and camping trips. Always accompanied with a picnic basket, quiet peacefulness, and heart to hearts about whatever is going on in their life.

The definition of free-range parenting, encouraging self discovery and independence. Yeah, she’ll always step in when needed with some kind encouragement or advice, but would much rather watch her children learn about the world on their own terms

Maru

The do-it-all parent. Signs up for activities, projects, school boards, committees, and teams. Is actually on time, prepared, and succeeds in all of these.

The most prepared and responsible out of any of the parents. Always has snacks in her diaper bag and a first aid kit

Did someone say routine/chore chart

Would show love for her children through learning and new experiences-the best part about being a parent for her is watching her child’s brain turning and working as they think about the environment in front of them. At her best, her kids think she is incredibly fun and they have a blast doing anything and everything with her

Not exactly tender/overly affectionate with her kids, but absolutely concerned about being the best mom she can be by having balance of learning, play, discipline, and love.

Penny

Literally just Miss Honey from Matilda

Pinterest mom. All the crafts, DIYs, bento boxes with cute little caterpillar grapes-you name it, she’s already done it AND packed your backpack and laid your clothes out for you.

Can be heard saying “well the pediatrician said...” “hm well that’s not what dr alberts book said to do” among other “first time mom”things

Can be incredibly anxious worrying about their child’s development and well being. She’s been around kids her entire life, but this is HER child? This one doesn’t go home at the end of the day? Everything has to be absolutely perfect

The most sentimental-would absolutely weep going through the baby box to pull out the teeny tiny booties and smelling the baby blanket - “they were just SO TINY- we need another one NOW.”

[officialgritty]

How I Would Humble NHL Players

An essay written by bigboigritty. 

I would humble hockey players the only way I know how to, by sending them to Australia. Let’s suppose that they have decided to hold the All Star game over here (forget about it’s usual date) (forget that some players I have listed below might not be invited) (and while you're at it, please forget that Australia’s rinks are Not Good).

I think that they would suffer but in an entertaining way so it’s fine. 

First of all, their biggest concern is getting sunburnt. It would effect all of their dumb asses but I’m particularly worried about Pierre-Luc Dubois and Mitch Marner. Boys are practically translucent. Vince Dunn would be fine, he’d probably wear a shirt most of the time which is a very smart decision. 

You may wonder why I didn’t mention Nolan Patrick because I am a certified slut for him, well I don't think he would have a problem. He would spend most of the time inside and when he joins the others, I think his Virgo ass would reapply sunscreen. Maybe he would burn slightly but I don't think it'd be enough to make him uncomfortable. 

Another thing that I think they will gain from this experience is a higher pain tolerance. Now you’re probably thinking, “Zoe they are NHL players so they can handle pain.” Wrong.

Real pain is running barefoot on cement at theme parks while you race to get to the next ride. Also getting into the car and having to avoid touching every piece of metal to not get branded like a cow. Or better yet, when the heat gets so bad that there’s a black out because everyone has their air conditioning turned on.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that other countries have scary animals but I would pay to see them panic over ours. Crocodiles here can grow up to 5.2 metres / 17 feet. We have a box jellyfish season where it’s advised to avoid swimming or wear wetsuits for coverage. Funnel web spiders can survive underwater for hours by trapping air bubbles around their skin. We have several of the worlds deadliest snakes present across the country. 

Listen, I don't want anyone to get injured but the constant fear that they would have when doing anything would be enough to make me happy.

My biggest question is who would survive in the shady areas, who would survive the eshays?

Under no circumstances can you look them in the eyes or cross their path. They are not to be feared individually but in groups caution is advised. I think the players would attempt to assert dominance and that is simply not an option. You are better off to ignore the eshay.

Nolan would have no issues here if im being honest. He is big and I don't think they’d find it worth it to fuck with him. But you know who they would target? Matthew Tkachuk. “Where are you going pretty boy?” “Oi braa did we hurt your feelings ya pussy cunt?” They would make fun of his hair in particular. 

Travis Konecny would be an eshay. I don't think I need to make further comment. (So would Louis Tomlinson but I am not a 1D account and I will continue to repeat that until it’s true.)

I would also give them a few iconic tasks to get the true Australian experience. Activities for the ‘vacation’ include triathlon events, beach flags, bush walking and climbing the harbour bridge. They could attend a cricket match but they tend to like golf so unfortunately they would probably enjoy this :(

AFL is an extremely popular sport here and I think they would loose their shit when they learn the rules of this game. No protective equipment is used other than mouthguards, that's it. That’s all you get. And jumping onto other players for leverage is encouraged. I would thoroughly enjoy the fights that would break out because of this.

Another task would be to use a map to make their way to a servo for a slurpee. The catch is that they will be required to pass through multiple alleyways. Also, the season is Spring, it’s swooping season mother fuckers. Let’s see how brave you are when birds chase you down the block. Personally I don’t think any of them would pass this test, maybe McDavid because the birds may not be able to detect a heartbeat.

Australian food would disgust them, I just know it. Things that they would need to try are a Bunnings sausage sanga, fairy bread, lamingtons, baked beans on toast, Milo and Vegemite. Because I’m me I would give them no butter with their Vegemite. 

An after thought I had was money so I’m editing this to include it. Everything here is EXPENSIVE so they would need to learn how to budget. Upon doing research, Canadians would be fine but the Americans will be mad.

1000 CAD = 1019 AUD

1000 USD = 1297 AUD

Another after thought was the fact that they won’t be able to drive (or at least drive well) here. We drive on the left and not the right, same goes for walking paths too. I can sense a lot of them bumping into people.

Where I think players would live based on vibes alone:

Carter Hart and Vince Dunn: North Shore Beaches, NSW. Daddy’s money. Carter probably did Nippers whereas Vince was a skater boy. 

Travis Konecny: Darwin, NT. Would 100% live there and enjoy it. He would try to conduct crocodile tours but gets assigned to feeding the baby crocs and doing shows for little kids. 

Tyson Barrie: Perisher, NSW. One of the only ski resorts we have to offer, major friendly mountain man energy.

Nolan Patrick: Byron Bay, NSW. @antoineroussel enlightened me, steering away from my original thought of Katoomba, NSW. Byron Bay is a magnet for hippies and links rainforest to the ocean. Chris Hemsworth and his family also live there.

William Nylander: Perth, WA. I don’t know much about Perth other than they wouldn’t shut up about partying while the other states had to quarantine. For some reason, I also associate Perth with Tik Tok. 

Sidney Crosby and Connor McDavid: Melbourne CBD, VIC. These two would live in the same apartment building in the city, Connor one level above Sidney. It’s the most boring looking block of them all and Crosby would send in complaints to the landlord about McDavid pacing during the night.

Tyler Seguin: Surfers Paradise, QLD. Party central, not many people are actually from this area and he would be sure to tell absolutely everyone that he was. I also think he would get a Meter Maid tattoo, specifically on his leg. Has definitely slept on the beach before because he couldn’t find his way home.

Jamie Benn: Hobart, TAS. Tasmania is usually forgotten about. Another one with mountain man energy except he is more creepy than friendly.

Mitch Marner: Fitzroy, VIC. @antoineroussel is responsible for this one too. Hipster central, makes you question how the hell someone so young can have so much money. Would chug $45 wine and not blink an eye.

(honourable mentions include = Sammy Blais: Hobart, Tas. Once again no comment on Tasmania. TJ Oshie: Cairns, QLD. Would do reef tours. Haydn Fleury: Western Sydney, NSW. Haydn would 100% own a ute or a white holden commodore and you can’t tell me otherwise. Roman Josi: Adelaide, SA. Small town history teacher vibes.)

I have attached a handy map for those who may need it.

In conclusion, the NHL should send their players over here to teach them some manners and while they’re at it, management should bring themselves too. Nolan Patrick could pass as an Australian if he built up a tan. (So does Nylander in this picture but we won’t talk about that.) Come over anytime baby, I’m free. 

Glossary

Servo - A service station, also known as a petrol or gas station. Example: 7/11

Theme park - An amusement park. Can be said in reference to both normal parks and water parks and usually means those in QLD. Example: Six Flags

Swooping season - August to October in Australia. When birds attack and chase humans and / or pets for getting close to their babies. Magpies are notoriously bad for this. 

Bunnings sausage sanga - A cheap feed / meal found at the front of a hardware and gardening store called Bunnings. Made up of white bread, sausage, onion and your choice of sauce.

Fairy bread - White bread with margarine and topped with 100s and 1000s / sprinkles. 

Meter Maids - Women who work along the beach dressed in gold bikinis. They top up parking meters to save tourists from getting fined and will often stop for photos. 

Nippers - Surf lifesaving programs carried out for children between 5 and 14. 

Ute - A pick up truck.

Eshay - A person who partakes in drug use, graffiti, listens to EDM and targets victims in groups. Below is the typical style of an eshay. 

Tagging a few friends so this doesn’t completely flop but feel free to ignore if it isn't your thing. I won’t be offended lmao

@scheifefe @ifiwasshawnmendesidslapmyself @d00dlebob @bowenbyram @kempe @prettyboyroope @quintonsbyfield @travisgermy @pitoftrash @kspitehockey @ballsakic @canadianheaters @bricksatlandyswindow @powerblais @brokeninsidebutnobodyknows @jamiedrysdales

[justanothersyscourse]

“Plural” is whatever you want it to be (vent?)

I want to talk about... I think... what my problem with the endogenic community is? I don’t know. I’m just going to type for a while, whatever flows from my fingertips is what you get.

I think the majority of endogenics are DID/OSDD systems in denial. There are the ones that claim they fit DID/OSDD except for the dysfunction criteria, so I tried to debunk that. There are those that claim to fit DID/OSDD but prefer to fall under the spiritual/cultural exclusion, so I tried to debunk that, too. There are those who think they didn’t experience trauma, so I really debunked that, as well. 

The rest of the endogenic community... I don’t think they’re experiencing “multiplicity”. I think they’re experiencing something-- BPD, intrusive thoughts, detachments from their thoughts and feelings that can make those things feel separate from themselves... It could be so many things, but I just don’t think it’s possible to “split” once the mind has formed a cohesive sense of self, and there’s so much research to support this. If there was any possibility to the contrary, it would have come up somehow by now, even in passing mention, but it hasn’t. They’re experiencing something, but there’s so much misinformation out there that it can be hard for people to separate fact from fiction. 

For a very, very small portion of the community, I do think they are faking it, and I don’t feel bad for saying that. It’s a very fetishized illness. It does happen, and for some reason, it’s become taboo to even talk about it. The mere mention of the word “fake” almost always results in immediate banishment from the community.

The huge push for inclusivity and openness without any shred of skepticism has created a community that thrives on this misinformation, and that is happy to label anything and everything as “plural” without question or hesitation.

The above screenshot was posted on a reddit thread asking “Am I Plural, or do I just have an Over Active Imagination?”

The general consensus across the thread was, “plural is whatever you want it to be-- It’s experienced however you decide you’re experiencing it”. 

Plural is a choice, a label that you can just pick up and put on and you can expect immediate acceptance from the community. Everything you say and do is valid and whatever you experience under the umbrella is valid, because you say it is. If you find yourself being questioned by anyone for any reason, there’s an army behind you that will fight for your right to self-proclaim yourself as plural. 

I think it’s harmful. I can’t say I agree with fakeclaiming, but I do think some skepticism is healthy. Why would anyone who self-IDs as plural ever want to give up that label when presented with the fact that they may only have BPD? All their friends that they made through this community, the excitement of it, the positivity, the feeling of being special. This inclusive community is almost cult-like, and it’s stopping people from finding out what might actually be wrong with them. And hey, the community says they can be plural so long as they want to be, so why look any further? 

And besides, the community says it’s healthy and natural and normal-- plural means there’s nothing wrong with you. You just “experience” things differently (without acknowledging that every mental disorder can cause you to “experience” things differently”). 

I think this radical acceptance sends people further and further into dissociation, deepens delusions, and reinforces incredibly unhealthy coping habits. None of these are things that the community talks about in any depth. They rarely, if ever, encourage people to seek professional help for the things they’re experiencing, sending them instead to community made resources, and encouraging them to talk to others within the community. They push the idea that you can’t be “plural” if you experience any kind of dysfunction or impairment-- that would make you DID/OSDD, and based on the way the “natural” community talks about those diagnoses, many of them don’t want to be considered disordered because of the negative connotations. 

I think the entire community takes resources away from DID/OSDD systems. Rather than funding going toward studying DDs and trauma, it’s now going towards studying this growing phenomena that has very little scientific backing and little basis in reality-- and this will have an effect on therapeutic techniques. There are certain treatments that can cause dissociation to worsen, but that seems to be exactly what the endogenics want-- high dissociative barriers and distinct, separate parts, with ALL the focus on the alters, rather than treating dissociative and PTSD symptoms. 

The community is growing so large and loud that DID/OSDD voices are being lost under the thunderous roar of the all-inclusive plural umbrella. People that I’m “out” to ask me questions about why I do this or don’t do that, because the rest of the community does it this way. These misconceptions are bleeding into DID/OSDD spaces and hampering out ability to heal and get help. And it’s not surprising why-- just see this thread. 

DID/OSDD has been dragged under the umbrella and lumped in with this community based on plurality as a choice and I think it really diminishes what DID/OSDD systems have gone through and other issues we’re experiencing alongside the fetishized concept of alters. 

Just look at the difference between these two screenshots. 

Look at the points presented, and the suggestions at the end. These are so VASTLY different-- it’s clear we don’t belong in the same spaces, and that we can’t offer any kind of help to the other. The first relies on self-IDs and the second encourages ruling out other possibilities and seeking help. DID/OSDD are naturally skeptical because of the comorbity with other illnesses. If we attribute ALL of our behaviour to one thing, how can we work on the comorbid issues we have? If I can get away with, “my alter is just an asshole,” or, “my alter experiences extreme fixations,” I’ll never get help for my BPD or OCD that I’m STILL experiencing alongside being OSDD. 

Even if I entertain that endogenics could be real, I do not, under any circumstances, approve of how they encourage people to identify as plural, and not to seek help. When it comes to plural vs. singlet, in the end, one of the two has to be experiencing “neuronormativity” and the other has to be experiencing “neurodivergence”-- guess which one is which. Can you live a normal, healthy, fulfilling life with a neurodivergence? Absolutely yes! Should you present what you’re experiencing as a healthy, natural norm? NO! 

[olivinesea]

Oooh fun! Okay, do you have any headcannons or thoughts on a dyslexic Hotch? I feel like I never see dyslexia with any characters really, and I like the idea of him with it. And if you do and you want to write something about it, a dyslexic Hotch with the team (and them being the supportive and protective family they are?) Thank you! ❤️

I hope you have fun, wherever/whatever you’re doing!!

I love this so much!! Thank you :) okay I don’t have much personal experience with dyslexia so hopefully I get this decently accurate. The biggest thing that surprised me when I was doing a quick search is that it isn’t actually a matter of reading words or letters backwards? It’s more an inability to connect letters to the appropriate sounds or to break words up into component parts; a general phonological awareness struggle.

So, as with many things, it seems to me to be a matter of slowing down, learning at your own pace. This ties in nicely with so many of my other Hotch thoughts, I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of it before. Idk what this is, it’s neither headcanon nor proper story but hopefully it’s something like what you were looking for:

When he’s a kid he gets called a slow learner due to his undiagnosed dyslexia. It was much less common to get that kind of diagnosis back then in general and I am sure his dad would have hated the idea of his son needing any kind of extra help. So he’s slow to speak, slow to learn how to read, has difficulty with numbers, absolutely hates being called on to read out loud because it’s actual torture and the other kids have no hesitation about laughing at him. So he becomes withdrawn, labeled a “bad kid,” stops trying because, fuck it, he never gets any kind of support, who cares right? It’s always a fight at home, he starts hiding his work, lying about his grades. This works for awhile bc his parents are distracted by other things. His problems are much bigger than grades by the time they do notice.

However, while he hates school and the way people talk about him and his struggles, like he isn’t even there, he discovers that he doesn’t hate learning. There’s a small library in town where he found he could hide out, no one bothering him for hours if he just sat still for with a book open. He was good at sitting still, at being invisible. But eventually a librarian notices that he’s always got the same book open, some sort of technical manual, that he is rarely turning the pages. She asks him if he likes what he’s reading. He’s just alarmed to be spoken to, afraid that being noticed means he will soon no longer have this sanctuary. He nods and tries to bluff his way through but it’s obvious he hasn’t read it, despite having looked at it for weeks straight. The librarian doesn’t say anything outright, just lets him be for now.

Next time she sees him she brings him a different book, a collection of Grimms fairy tales. He wants to complain that it’s for little kids but is too nervous to refuse it. She asks if she can read him her favorite story from it. It’s dark and twisted and fantastical and he can’t help but be drawn in by it. He’s sad when she’s done reading, wants to hear it again, to capture all the details to replay to himself later. She shows him where it starts, encourages him to read it himself. He doesn’t look at her bc he doesn’t want her to see how upset he is by that, already frustrated by the anticipation that he won’t be able to get through it. But she stays with him, helping him where he gets stuck, asking him questions about the story, making sure it’s making sense to him.

They slowly work their way through the whole collection over the course of months. They spend days on each story, repeating it until he’s confident, she never makes him feel like he’s taking too long or wasting her time. Sometimes has to reread a section multiple times, gets hung up on the language rather than the story but it’s okay, she gives him a notebook to copy down parts that spin too loudly in his mind, saving them and also releasing him from their hold so he can move forward. She lets him keep the book, tells him it was too old to stay in circulation anyway, they had a new copy on order already. She’s the first person who was patient with him, that showed him he could do it, he just needed a little more time, a little more practice than other kids.

In college this is part of why he spends so much time at the library. Part of it is his natural inclination to overwork himself, push until he’s given more than he can in hopes that it might be almost enough. He knows he’s never been enough, why would that change just because he’s in a new place? But the other part is he simply needs more time to get through the coursework, to make it through the excessive amounts of reading he’s assigned. Some other students don’t even bother to read but he would never do that, he makes sure that he not only reads every chapter assigned but he reads it again, takes notes, highlights, annotates, does everything in his power to be prepared. Sure he might work himself to the point of exhaustion, to the point where he makes himself sick (though he’ll try to deny that too) but he’s never caught trying to read something while others wait for his answer, the letters and sounds meaningless, slipping away from him faster the more eyes he feels turn towards him, wondering what could be taking so long. No one ever gets the chance to laugh at him for being slow in college, he never allows them to see that side of him.

As an adult, the leader of the BAU, he’s too well respected for anyone to dare laugh at him but he still hates feeling unprepared. This ends up looking like long nights in the office, reviewing case files to the point of memorization, so that he won’t have to read any of it in front of his team. He can if he has to, he’s developed skills over the years, ways to calm the panic that only makes it harder, can fake it well enough that no one would really notice. Until one day, distracted by a migraine and the fallout of some fight with Haley, he gets stuck. He can’t remember something and he tries to read the sentence that has the information but the stupid word just won’t resolve into sounds that make sense and he just stops talking. He’s glaring at the form like it might catch fire. No one says anything for a moment while he tries to refocus, tries to work around echoes of laughter, decades long past but always ready to jump out at him if he lets his guard down, allows a mistake, a tired moment to derail the image of perfect competence that he’s built around himself. Penelope jumps in, finishing the thought, completing the list of traits shared by the victims. He forces himself to smile at her because he really is grateful, it wasn’t her fault. She scrunches her nose at him, dismissing his silent thanks with a toss of her head. It was nothing, everyone needs a little assist now and then.

No one brings it up and he doubles his efforts not to let anyone see. But he’s so tired on the plane coming back from a case, he’s been staring the same forms for an hour at least. He can feel his ears turning red with frustration. There’s really no reason he has to do this now but the fact that his mind is refusing, almost seems to be teasing him, makes him dig in harder. Emily sits down opposite him, pulling the folder away without asking. He’s about to say something sharp, something he’ll regret saying to her when he really means it for himself, but the expression on her face is so odd, smiling with a frown between her eyebrows. It isn’t pity, she respects him far too much, but there is curiosity and something else, something soft.

“Drink with me.” She slides him a glass and they don’t talk, just look out the window, look at the light playing off the ice in their glasses. He doesn’t see the file again until it appears on his desk, every form neatly filled out, the places needing his signature flagged. All but the last spot, where she’s signed his name eerily perfectly, difficult for even him to see that it’s not his own. Just so he knows she can if she wants to. Equal parts offer and threat.

Penelope and Reid start a book club. Derek joins right away. Emily rolls her eyes when she’s invited, muttering something about spending her free time on more work but they know she will join. Rossi flat out refuses to read the books but offers his house for meetings. Hotch hesitates, wanting to say yes but nervous to commit to an activity like that. He loves books, loves to talk about books. He doesn’t love a time limit on books.

The next time they have to drive to a case, Derek puts on a copy of the audiobook. It’s the first time they make it to a destination without any bickering from the backseat. They don’t get through the whole thing but later he finds a copy of the audiobook on his desk, complete with a disc player and headphones.

A different month, Reid tells him about how his mother always used to read him books and somehow finesses an offer to read to Hotch without him even realizing he’s accepted it. So Spencer comes in to Hotch’s office on lunch breaks occasionally and reads to him whatever the book of the month is. He loves it, remembering the first person who read to him, how shocked he’d been to be treated with patience, with understanding and wondering how he got so lucky to be surrounded by people like her, so ready to support him, wanting him there with them rather than off alone, uselessly fighting with himself to prove his self sufficiency over some uncooperative letters.

Okay, that was so much more than I was planning on but here we are. I hope you liked it and thank you SO much for the idea. If you ever have any others you want to share I am totally here for it. :)

Send me requests!

[ellaenchanting]

Hypnovember 2020 Master List

Now that I have awoken from my post-Hypnovember nap, it’s time to post my 2020 Master List! in comparison to last year’s entries, a lot of stories this year delved more into either more intense kinks or more of my intense personal feelings than my stories last year did. Sometimes writing stories is a bit like reading my own tarot cards in that way- letting an ambiguous prompt roll around in my subconscious and sometimes being surprised or amused or even slightly unsettled by what it turns into. I hope you will find something in this group of works that soothes you, that turns you on, that intrigues you, and that most of all provokes a response. If you do, I’d absolutely love to hear about it. :)

Copying one of my favorite @jukeboxemcsa  ideas, I’ve also included a HypnoBS rating for every work about how realistic the hypnosis/mind control is in each work (IMHO). In this ranking, 1 means to is absolute bullshit and 5 is a normal Tuesday night (for someone).

Icons- 📰- story. 🔊- audio 💻- technology 😍- romantic 🌈- queer 😴- regular ole’ hypnosis 🛀- brainwashing and/or character in tub 👻- spooky 🐈- at least one happy pussy ❓- bad or reeeally questionable consent 👨‍🔬 -science! 🤪 -crackfic #-#sceneideas 😭-feeeels ⭐-author’s personal favorites

Day 1: Instant M/f 📰 😴🐈#😭

Choice quote: “Sean chuckled as he moved in closer. And closer. ‘I thought you wanted to know what it was like to be hypnotized, sweetheart. To follow suggestions? To have someone else take control? It’s not real control if I’m doing something you already wanted, now is it?”

HypnoBS- 5. Read the whole thing but- IMHO totally plausible.

Fun Fact- These are the same characters from last year’s Day 5: Poison.

Day 2: Coils F/m 📰 😴 💻 👨‍🔬

Choice quote: “Daniel rolled his eyes. ‘I bet you could hypnotize me with a bar of soap if you wanted to. That still doesn’t make me like spirals.’”

HypnoBS- 5. Maybe 4 because I don’t love the induction but- maybe you will? Also- oh no poor Daniel is so conditioned that he’ll go under to anything Jamie does! How hard for him. :(

Day 3: Staged Hypnosis (Stage) F/f 📰 😴 🌈 🛀 ❓

Choice quote: “No one needed to know she was a plant. A confederate. A stooge.”

HypnoBS- 1.5. This would collapse like a house of cards. It’s a fun concept though.

Day 4: Psychic F/nb 📰 😴 🌈 😍 👨‍🔬⭐

Choice quote: “Something about the hypnosis- being in and out of each other’s heads and in and out of each other’s bodies all weekend- made her feel like she and Tris had merged in some way. Like there was a new, deeper understanding between them now- a telepathic bond.”

HypnoBS- 5. Maybe a 4.5 if you’re recognizing some nre magical thinking here. But- I’ve definitely had this feeling and this kind of experience- and I hope some of you have had it/will have it as well. :)

Day 5: Visor F/multiple 📰 😴 🛀 💻 👨‍🔬 🤪#

Choice quote: “Besides, everyone knew stormtroopers were kinky.”

HypnoBS- 4.5. Some of the exact details would need to be changed and thought through more thoroughly, but I absolutely believe you could do something like this if you wanted to. (And if you do, you definitely have to let me know. I know some of y’all out there go to Dragoncon.)

Day 6: Pendulum F/y’all 🔊😴 👨‍🔬

Choice quote: This is a trick I first learned from a science book I read in 5th grade.

HypnoBS- 5. The real thing.

Day 7: Song Aliens/the human race 📰 💻 👻❓

Choice quote: “Anna didn’t know what she was singing.”

HypnoBS- 1. I hope. Why do the song based stories always turn out so creepy?

Day 8: Performance unknown/f 📰 👻❓😴# ⭐

Choice quote: “With each snap, the gears inside her doll body click click click clicked into action. She turned, jerky but graceful. She was determined to do well. “

HypnoBS- 5 (if part of a fearplay scene, which is my headcanon for this story)

Day 9: (Hot Under the) Collar F/f 📰 😴🛀🌈 🐈#⭐

Choice quote: “She was wearing her collar. She was aroused. It was as simple as that.“

HypnoBS- 5 With time, I think you could do this. Maybe a 4.5 for the 30 minutes thing- that might lead to a bit too much cramping.

Day 10: Gentle 🔊😴

Choice quote: “Just look into the spiral....”

HypnoBS- 5. I hope.

Day 11: Summoning Sappho (Summon) eventual F/f I hope 📰 😴🌈 🤪

Choice quote: “In fact, the only ideas left to try on their brainstorming board included ‘sexy alien invasion’, ‘sexy witches’, and this. Shockingly, at this point a sexy seance seemed the most practical.”

HypnoBS-1. Although stay tuned for Femme Flirt 2021.

Day 12: Plants unknown/m 📰 😴🛀#

Choice quote: “If he focused, Chris could feel that new suggestion also growing stronger and stronger, becoming more and more firmly rooted inside of him. “

HypnoBS- 5, with the right person

Day 13: Artifact F/f 📰 😴🛀🌈 👨‍🔬 ❓

Choice quote: “She fumbled through the contents when suddenly her hand found something unexpected from her past.A red lipstick tube. An artifact.”

HypnoBS- 4? There’s different ways of reading this story, but my headcanon is that the consent here is pretty dubious.

Day 14: Tail M/f 📰 😴🛀❓👻#

Choice quote: “It was no use. She could sense her tail was still behind her. She couldn’t shake him. She should have known he’d come for her.“

HypnoBS- Let’s say 2. Although I think this could work really well for a fearplay scene in an appropriate setting (where someone wasn’t actually left unmonitored with extreme paranoia).

Day 15: Serve F/m 📰 😴#⭐

Choice quote: “He had put his heart and soul into the dish.They were hers now.”

HypnoBS- As a scene? 5 (depending on the person). As a long term effect, much lower.

Day 16: Memory F/f  📰 😴 🛀🌈 😍

Choice quote: “Mesmera waited for Galaxy Girl at the door.”

HypnoBS- 4, you could do an induction along these lines but -1 for psychic powers

Fun Fact: These characters were originally featured in last year’s Day 19: Hideout. 

Day 17: Toy F/f m/f 📰 😴 🛀🌈🐈 #

Choice quote: “Dolly hated to have Bad Manners. “

HypnoBS- 4.5. This is pretty deep into headspace, but I wouldn’t want to rule it out for the right person.

Day 18: Monster m/f 📰 😴 ❓😭⭐

Choice quote: “That kind of stuff wasn’t fair to think about here. It wasn’t everyone else’s fault that she was so warped.”

HypnoBS- 5. Ouch my heart. Poor young!Ella.

Day 19: Eyes M/m 📰 😴 🌈 😍

Choice quote: “Scott looked into his partner Brandon’s eyes. Brandon had hypnotized him so many times over the years in so many ways but- this was one of Scott’s favorites.”

HypnoBS- 5. Especially in a long term relationship like this. (In my pretend Hypnovember universe, these guys are some of the patriarchs of the hypnokinky convention scene and absolutely wonderful advice givers.)

Fun fact: The story of how these characters originally got together is in last year’s Day 12: Stage story. 

Day 20: Possession F/f  📰 😴 🌈 😍😭

Choice Quote- “Things that were hard to do for herself during these times became easier to do as something owned by Thadra. Taking a shower. Getting up and going to bed at the right time. Making sure she ran once a day. Making sure she ate.”

HypnoBS- Errr....4 trending upwards. Although for this to be safe and healthy you’d really need to be checking in with a therapist and working on your continuing mental health at the same time (IMHO). Please do not get relationship advice from my porn.

Day 21: Snaps 🔊😴👨‍🔬

Choice Quote- “No, that one was up.”

HypnoBS- 5. I’m not sure quite how this translates to audio but this is the kind of shenanigans I pull with friends all of the time.

Day 22: Restrict  F/f 📰 😴 🌈 🐈👨‍🔬 

Choice quote: “’Hmm. By ‘weird’ do you mean ‘hot’?’ asked Zahara, lounging above her on the couch. Nikki nodded. She definitely meant hot. “

HypnoBS- 2. A month is a long time and this is a strong reaction. But- maaaaaybe would work for a bit, especially within these boundaries?

Day 23:  Villain there’s a m and a f  📰 🛀👨‍🔬❓#

Choice quote: “They had been planning against that damned do-gooder reporter Lizzy Lampost for months and now they were about to finally have her in their clutches. “

HypnoBS-1. But you’re not reading this one for realism, are you?

Day 24: Drink F/f 📰 😴👨‍🔬🌈 😍

Choice quote: “’Leah,’ she said. ‘I’ve found a drinking game! This might be fun! Want to try it?’”

HypnoBs- 5. With the right person. (That part of the end might be a bit harder.)

Day 25:Worship: F/m 📰 🛀🌈 

Choice quote: “After all, it wasn’t the time to work right now. It was time to worship his Mistress’s cock.”

HypnoBS- Someone on AO3 told me this fic just wrecked them. Lucky that person- this one’s a 5. Maybe not with everyone, but an awful lot of people should be able to do an awful lot of the activities in this story. :)

Day 26: Fey M/f 📰😴 😭⭐

Choice quote: “Humans do not know the spells they weave.”

HypnoBS- 1 Only true in that metaphorical way. (So- really, really true. But not factual.)

Day 27: Recording F./m 📰 🛀❓👻#

Choice quote: “It’s a recording, he reminded himself. “She’s not there. No one is there.”

HypnoBS- 2 At least, I don’t know how to make this happen (outside of a consensual scene).

Day 28: Obsession M/F 📰 🛀😍👨‍🔬

Choice quote: “Some guys had cars. Some had computer systems. Some had home brewing. But Mark’s obsession was Julia.“

HypnoBS- Oh gosh. Errr...2.5? Hard to say. 

Fun Fact: This started as a one-sided scenario, then it changed, then it felt really hot, now it feels like a sweet silly sitcom premise. (If you want to read some episode synopses of this hypothetical sitcom, there are some brilliant ones here! Also- feel free to send me more!)

Day 29: Helpless F/m 📰😴😍

Choice quote: “’I want to be helpless,’ he replied. Juan felt his headspace changing. He threw himself into that feeling, trusting Josie to take the reins.“

HypnoBS- 5. Not a scene log, but pretty much How I Top.

Day 30: Awaken 🔊😴👨‍🔬

Choice quote: “Aaaaaand-awaken!”

HypnoBS- 5 Hypnotist BS- also a 5

Thank you all for reading these! Thank you especially to everyone who reblogged, wrote me comments, and generally supported me through this past month. I’m going to specifically single out @daja-the-hypnokitten​, @wellgnawed​, and @spiralturquoise​ for the encouragement- y’all are the best. :)  I know this is a long post, but I’d really appreciate reblogs of it!

Also, I didn’t have time to contribute myself but- if you donate to Hypnokink for Trans Lives, let me know and I’ll write you an epilogue for any of these stories that you choose. 

[scarletravenswood]

Different Ways to Celebrate Samhain || Wiccan vs Celtic

There are many ways to celebrate Samhain and today I’d like to share the similarities & differences between Wiccan celebrations of Samhain and the historic way it would be celebrated among the ancient Celtic Pagans. 

Both Wiccans and Celtic Pagans view Samhain as a day to connect with the dead.  Some of the ways Wiccans honor those that have passed on is by placing pictures of their deceased family members or ancestors on their altar.  Also, Some wiccans also participate in a “dumb supper,” the word dumb meaning silent, not stupid.  The “dumb supper” is really just a silent meal where you have a place setting with food for the deceased at your table. The Celtic Pagans did something similar though they provided offerings for both the Aos Sí and the deceased.  Aos Sí is an Irish term for the supernatural beings in Irish & Scottish mythology.  These supernatural beings are akin to the Fae that appear in Folklore.  As Samhain was considered a liminal time where these supernatural beings could enter our world, it was really important to the Celtic Pagans that they provide offerings as a way to placate them.  They did this by leaving offerings of food and drink outside their home.  As for the souls of the deceased, they would place a plate for them at their table just as modern wiccans do.  However, it was definitely not a quiet feast.  In fact the Celtic Pagans had multiple loud and rambunctious feats for Samhain.   While most Wiccans tend to celebrate Samhain on October 31st, Celtic Pagans celebrated Samhain for about a week.  They would begin 3 days before Samhain and end 3 days after.  These were big gatherings as this time traditionally marked the end of the season for trade and warfare and it was a time to gather the whole tribe together.  We see evidence of this in early Irish literature as these big Samhain gatherings were often used as the setting for the stories. During these big gatherings, there was lots of feasting, drinking, and contests. One of the most popular contests involved horse racing.  In a previous video about Lughnasadh traditions, I mentioned how athletic events & competition were key aspects of the celebration so it’s interesting to see that that’s true for Samhain as well.  To me this emphasis on sport, competition and physical fitness is one of the bigger differences you’ll find between Wiccan and historic Celtic Pagan celebrations.  

Many Wiccans tend to celebrate Samhain either alone or with a small coven, but for the Celtic Pagans this holiday was really about celebrating together as a large community.  Probably the most important feature of a Celtic Pagan Samhain is a community bonfire and while some wiccans may do a bonfire for Samhain, it’s definitely not a common feature I've seen in most modern Wiccan Samhain celebrations. Bonfires were an essential part of Celtic Pagan Samhain celebrations.  Usually these fires were lit by the Druids and then sacrifices for the Gods were thrown into the fire.  Also, all other fires in the community would be extinguished and then re-lit from this sacred community fire. Sometimes, two bonfires would be lit next to each other and then the people, and potentially also their livestock, would walk between the two fires as part of a cleansing ritual. One of the popular Samhain activities for both Wiccans and Celtic Pagans is divination.  Usually wiccans do divination on Samhain with a scrying mirror, tarot cards, or maybe runes.  The Celtic Pagans also did divination, though it mostly centered around the bonfire.  There’s a spooky Celtic tradition where people would gather a stone and place their stone in a ring around a bonfire. Then everyone would run and dance around the bonfire and the next morning they would check the stones.  If a stone was missing or moved it was said that that person would die in the upcoming year.  Apples and hazelnuts were also traditionally used for divination games on Samhain though mostly these divination methods were done by girls hoping to learn who their future spouse would be. There are many more both Wiccan and Celtic Pagan traditions for Samhain and I definitely encourage you to do some more research so you can decide which traditions would best fit within your own Samhain celebration.  With this post, I’m not trying to say that one system, Wiccan or Celtic Pagan is better than the other.  Though I wanted to share with you these ancient Celtic Pagan traditions because books and information on them is often much harder to find than information on Wiccan celebrations. There are tons of books and blog posts out there that provide spells, rituals, and crafts on how to celebrate a Wiccan Samhain.  In fact, I’ve personally made a lot of videos about how to celebrate a Wiccan Samhain already.  The trickier question for me is how can we celebrate a Samhain in a way that’s more attuned to how the Celtic Pagans celebrated it.  It’s kind of a difficult situation because most Celtic Pagan celebrations were about coming together as a community.  The more I’ve learned about historic Pagan traditions the more I’ve realized how important it is to build a strong community not just online but in person as well.  Definitely not this year but maybe in the years to come I really hope to be able to host a traditional Celtic Pagan Samhain celebration.  This would be an event where we could all come together for a weekend, have a big nighttime Samhain bonfire and enjoy feasting, drinking, and spending time together.   And speaking of building community, one of the new things I’ll be doing is sending out hand written letters to some of my Patrons for each sabbat.  I know it’s kind of old school, but I think it would be really fun to become penpals with some of you guys. So, if you’re interested in becoming Penpals with me, you can join my Patreon here.  Thanks so much for reading this post.  It’s been so wonderful to see our community grow so quickly!

[embersrpg]

IT’S FORM TIME FOLKS!

As I talked about in the chat, below you will find a google form that you will all fill out to help me get a better idea of what you see for your characters, and the boundaries you’d like to establish.

I want take this space to expand a bit on the intention so everyone is on the same page:

Embers is a plot-heavy group that will involve extensive member participation. I am so lucky to have a group that is just as invested in this story as I am, but I’d like to explicitly say the expectation so that once we get into the meat of the plot, we all know what we’re signing up for.

What does this mean?

It means members will need to keep track of not only the main, and the npc-adjacent blogs, but other members’ blogs as well. Plot material will be happening on the dash in all directions, with every member carrying their weight to move this plot along. It would be disrespectful to the team not to do your part.

What this DOESN’T mean

I am not expecting members to be on every day or frantically refreshing the dash to see what comes up.  I also will try and post all important plot related things to the discord to make it easier to pick up on (and members are encouraged to poke me if there’s something they think should be on the discord). Hiatuses are still welcome when needed and breaks are encouraged. We’re in this for the long haul so I want to prevent burnout. I am also more lenient when members actively participate in the plot out of character, and are actively feeding into the plot with other members, even if they aren’t on the dash as much.

Participation and engagement is expected. If these expectations don’t align with what you feel you can produce, I recommend having a conversation with an admin about your role in the group. 

For the most part, pretty much everyone has been doing an excellent job and has made me super excited about the future of this group. I want to see that continue, and always always, have open communication. Losing muse ? Let me know! Having a rough week and just want to tap out for a bit? Let me know! Communication is the way we’re going to thrive here. It will only become an issue if you lack of activity become a consistent, and you are not carrying your weight in this group.

This form is to establish boundaries while also giving a clear understanding that shit will happen to and around your muse that will be a surprise.

Surprise and plot twists are some of my favorite elements in collaborative writing. It provides interesting arcs that members potentially hadn’t even thought about. Especially considering that Embers is going to take many twists and turns, this is inevitable.

However, these are your characters and I know it’s frustrating when someone throws you into the deep end of something you didn’t even want to write. That’s why this form is so important. You will have to think about what is important to your character, what you’d like to see, and what you would absolutely not want to see. I’m putting out this form now so you can take your time and really think about it, before the big plot drop happens.

As I state in the form, if you don’t establish a boundary in any part of the form, it’s going to be considered fair game. 

It’s also important to mention that this form and these cryptic questions doesn’t mean this group is going to head into any troubling or triggering territory beyond any mature rp. While there might be themes that are triggering (such a brainwashing, kidnapping, torture, death, etc), these will never be roleplayed on the dash, but rather mentioned in an aftermath with vague details of the actual violence. This is also a friendly reminder if you have a trigger not listed on the page, send it in!

If you have any questions, it is so important that you ask it. Either directly to me on discord, or through the questions channel on discord. I am happy to answer anything!

Lastly, when I post this message onto Discord, it will be accompanied with a number ID. This is just because Google Forms is stinky and it was hard to tell which messages go with which person, so I just politely ask you put the Number ID at the beginning of each answer so I can easily figure out who is writing what. And please be sure to indicate which character you are referencing in the response boxes, if you have multiple characters.

QUICK FACTS

Begin date: now

Date of completion: April 13th

Format: Google Form found here

Mandatory: YES

Please like this once you have read

Once the date comes closer, and if people haven’t replied to the form, I will reach out. This form in MANDETORY. 

IF YOU DO NOT FILL OUT THIS FORM, OR FAIL TO REACH OUT TO AN ADMIN FOR AN EXTENSION, YOU WILL POTENTIALLY FACE REMOVAL FROM THE GROUP.

[daiseukiis]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 ┊ 02 ┊ 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐬 ┊ 04

⠀

⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀"HERE, IT'S FROM YOUR SISTER." mizuki reaches out to gojo who passes by the hallway of the dorms. she was in her normal clothing, her off day. a dark blue sweater engulfs her body along with the black jeans and hair that was tied in a mess with a single clip. she took a few steps to catch up the male that walked pass her room.

"huh? what is it." gojo turns to face her, taking in her homey look before inspecting the white paper bag in her hands. mizuki brings it out for the sorcerer to grab as she straightens up her posture.

"she's doing well, she talked a lot about you when i visited." she explains and exhales softly, catching her breath after having a hectic schedule.

"my giri no ani and nephew?" gojo takes the bag and looks through the contents which his sister had brought him from overseas.

"he's still capable of protecting them and safe delivery to onee-san." she puts her hand on her hip, a defeated smile to see how after all these years there was still that small distrust he felt towards his in-law. 'what an overgrown protective goof.'

"snacks, photos and... a letter?" he grabs out the small white envelope for both of them to see.

"letter?" mizuki repeats after him and watches as he opens up the envelope to read what was written inside. seeing that her job to deliver the presents that his sister had bought for him, her presence there was no longer needed. it's not as if he also would share what was the contents in the letter either, so mizuki went to take her leave.

"alright, your turn." gojo hums.

"what?" mizuki snaps back, turning her head to face him after her hand just reached her doorknob. gojo walks towards the short figure, "where's my souvenir?"

"what?" she asks once again, she had to know that he was messing around because, well, this is gojo we're talking about. her face scrunched up her nose, filling her expression with confusion and mild taste of shock when he didn't respond in the next seconds that he was joking.

"you heard me, mizuki fuyusame." gojo stands tall in front of her figure, to the point mizuki had to stretch her neck more than usual to see his blindfolded face. he let's out a small chuckle as he watches her expression transition into a scowl.

'ugh, i hate being called by my full name.' it wasn't something gojo would do often, but he did have a knack for annoying the other sensei of their school. "what makes you think i bought anything for you?"

"our precious yukihana told me so." he takes a step back, smirking mischievously as he watches mizuki's face start to slowly pale as dust of pink appear on her cheeks. "then again, you never give them to me and just keep them stuffed in your closet."

'that's why all the souvenirs i buy disappear. it was mari's doing.' mizuki's palm lands on her forehead, causing strands of her hair to fall on to her face. she really needed to fix her appearance right now, but dismissed that fact. groaning, she looks straight at gojo with full confidence.

"i didn't buy you anything, now leave me alone." clasping her hand onto her hair clip, she releases her silky brown locks so it would fall down her waist, stuffing the clamp into her hoodie's pocket. mizuki's wrist turns to open her door and leave, that was until gojo catches her attention.

"are you sure about that? what's this then." he holds up a light beige button up shirt in front of her, making her turn to look back at him. eyes went wide the moment it fell on the article, reaching out for the shirt only for him to bring it higher to a point which she couldn't reach.

"that's for me!" mizuki tries to jump up for the shirt, it was still too high for her to reach. 'stupid tall bastard!'

"mens size?" he hums out. mizuki who had given up trying to take back the shirt took a step back, crossing her arms and staring at the blindfolded man, "clothes have no gender. what does it being in the mens section have anything to do with what i wear?"

"how about wearing my shirts next then?" he took a step closer to mizuki as he plants a hand beside her head, trapping her between the suddenly closed door and his body. the smirk on his face was once more teasing the female, one which she quickly mirrored back.

"the same one you're wearing that's going to have a hole in it?" mizuki's hand gently laid atop gojo's chest, above his heart as she inches her face closer to his. her lips even centimeters away from touching his, tension built up.

"my pleasure, but let me kill you first."

"you never cease to give me chills."

⠀⠀⠀⠀"as much as i would love to stay and watch your teamwork flourish, i got some business to attend to." gojo grins and waves his hand to his four students who stare at him.

their mission was around the outskirts of shizuoka prefecture, many said that there were paranoia activity happening in the abandoned school building just right behind them. this was the mission mizuki had mentioned that day before.

"fuck off, you just didn't wanna be here for this mission." kiyara quickly swears at her sensei, eyes and lips flat as she knew this was just some sort of facade for the said man so he could go sugar hunting. if anything, she was confused exactly how he didn't develope diabetes yet with his sweet tooth.

"bingo! but you're all more than capable of clearing a grade two mission." gojo gives them a thumbs up along with his grin to brighten up their gloomy atmosphere.

to say the least the weather was completely terrible. rain clouds were approaching to the point it looked like even a storm was brewing, despite the fact it was morning. they were going to kill off curses in a shady abandoned school, to top it off, their sensei was irresponsible and decided he would leave his students up to the task as he goes to buy souvenirs while they could possibly die.

all was so dandy for him.

"i'm going to seriously punch you." fushiguro declares.

"anyways, i'll be back to pick you four up." turning on his heels he waves out to them.

"we got this. just go do whatever the hell you want and by the time you get back here, we'll already be out eating ramen." kiyara mirrors his actions, walking past her colleagues and towards the building.

"oh? is that some sort of encouragement for your classmates?" gojo glances behind him, looking to see any sort of reaction from her or even the rest of his students.

"no," stopping a few steps from her three classmates, she turns her head back to lock eye contact with her sensei ( or so she hoped she did ) and sends a smile. "just a fact."

'wow, she's either really confident or really stupid.' kugisaki furrows her brows at kiyara, she knew her opinion on her was a questionable one. but then again, maybe this was how all tokyo girls acted. she never really could put a certain thought on her.

"let's go." fushiguro was the first to follow her lead, the two catching up to them as they entered the building.

"this is one creepy school." kiyara states as she inspects the dark halls. her eyes look around to see if there were any curses that were lingering, while fushiguro's divine dogs continue to sniff them out.

"it's abandoned for a reason." fushiguro comments back at kiyara who lets a nervous giggle out.

"so, what was up with this place again?" itadori watches as shivers run down his spine, witnessing kiyara throw a dagger straight into fourth grade curse head without blinking an eye. both him and kugisaki give each other glances, this was different than the kiyara they first met.

"missing teens that would dare each other to come, appearently screams at night and moving shadows. the basics." picking up the cursed dagger on the wall after disposing of the curse, she slid it back by her right thigh.

"there's not a lot of curses here." kugisaki looks throughout the place, she too, threw a nail and slammed it with her hammer to exorcise a low grade curse.

"isn't this is a grade two mission?" itadori ponders and stares through ruined classroom windows, desks were broken and was completely dusted. 'probably been over fifteen years since someone last used this place...'

"it's in the gym." their advances came to a stop, fushiguro's divine dogs growling and barking at the door sealed with chains in front of them. itadori was the first to react, walking forwards and effortlessly kicking the metal door with ease. both doors fly across the gym auditorium causing dust to fly around the dimly lit room.

"what the hell does he eat?!" kiyara's mouth drops, kugisaki standing behind her also adds on, "right?! that isn't normal! it's freakishly weird! to top it off he chomped down sukuna fingers!"

"it was only backed up with aluminum metal and it's just old." itadori turns around and gives them a blank look, blinking as he scratches the nape of his neck.

"like hell that changes anything!" they scream.

"help me! please!" their eyes dart to a high school girl, one that seemed to be older than them. even in the dark, they can see the tint of blue that coloured her hair. a curse was holding her by the neck while their nail was stabbing through her waist.

"it has a hostage!" fushiguro screams out as all four of them run in only to be greeted with multiple lower grade curses.

"the gym's infested!" kugisaki brings out more of her nails, itadori grabbing hold of his slaughter demon as kiyara takes out her daggers.

"yuji, you're with me!" kiyara grabs hold of the pinkett's foresleeve and makes him dash with her towards the hostage.

"wait!ー huh? why are they suddenly fighting each other?" itadori stares at the scenes where a few curses had start to fight and destroy each other, confusing him. "is this your jujutsushiki?"

"faded." kiyara and itadori quickly split when a curse separates them, but suddenly it got confused when they 'disappeared' from it's sight. in complete sync the teenagers cut each arm off from both sides and sliced it in half before continuing.

"it let's me to make illusions and change my presence." she threw her daggers at the head of curse causing it to fly back, as itadori did the finishing touches by slicing it by the fingers and thrusting his weapon right through.

"that's pretty cool!" he grins and catches the hostage that fell into his arms, she instinctively wrapped her limbs around his body as itadori carried her bridal style.

"thank you so much... i was so scared." the girl hugs on to itadori, tears seeping through her deep forest hues as he crouches down on the floor, setting her to the ground. "you'll be fine now, onee-san."

'wait, this seems too easy...' kiyara picks up her daggers which were indented on the floor of the gym, throwing it once more for a curse to fade away. she felt something wrong with the scenery, like something was missing from the big picture.

'something's off.' she wasn't the only one that felt different about this mission, kugisaki and fushiguro were unsettled about the amount of low grade curses which grouped together.

'my shikigamo are still picking up curses, but where?' fushiguro watches as his one dog chewed the remaining corpse of a curse, the other growling in attack mode. he raises his brow, looking towards the direction it was barking at.

his eyes fell on itadori, kiyara and the girl they saved. he saw the tears which fell to the floor which glistened through the gloomy room. but from closer inspection, something moved around them, chains started to move.

"shit! she's a cursed spirit!" fushiguro screams to their direction as his heart starts to pound, no, no. eyes widen when his connected with kiyara's amethyst hues that were only filled with late realization. he tries to run to them, hand out to try and grasp her body.

"smart cookie, aren't ya?"

tags ; @to-move-on-means-to-grow @dearsukuna @sukun4s @inumakiful

notes ; these are probs gonna be all qued bc im lazy

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

DO NOT REPOST 、 MODIFY 、 CLAIM WORK OR LAYOUT AS YOURS.

© MGUQIIS 、 2021

[swamp-world]

anyways. if... (1968). how to talk about it. tired ramblings below the cut. again, big TWs for a lot of stuff.

im slowly in the process of rewatching it because i just havent had the time lately. it just...strikes me as such a strange film for what it is. i dont remember much, frankly. i remember the general idea, the general vibe, i think there was a lot i was too young to understand the first watch.

the first thing that comes to mind in this film is the idea of the school shooting. they didnt call it such, no, but that’s what we would call it today. as a film made in 1968, it’s morbid and horrendous that they created an event in an overdramatized film, clearly meant to be divorced from reality, clearly satirical in every way, and that by the end of the century, Columbine would happen, and within the 21st century, school shootings became a regular event in america. a cursory search shows that there certainly were instances of school violence before this (a man shot a student in a dorm; a principal shot colleagues, etc.) but none so sensationalized or arguably senseless as those in Brenda Spencer, as Columbine.

and that’s where this film walks a tightrope. there are multiple ways to see the film and all of them are true in at least part.

1. many will recognize malcolm mcdowell from his role in A Clockwork Orange. many will recognize that as a film that white american men tend to look to aspirationally instead of with horror, as it was designed. same vein as the matrix, fight club, the joker, etc. this movie is where he got a lot of his character inspiration from. and there’s definitely that same idea of the disillusioned loner who, if given a gun, can make enough of a revolutionary difference in a world that has wronged him

2. is this supposed to be a good thing? the film seems conflicted itself at times. the teachers are in the wrong, certainly. oh, that’s without question. it doens’t paint the violence as aspirational, i dont think. i do think that there’s this idea of a fictionalized, sensationalized and glorified revolution, fighting back against the school system and society

3. this was part of a “series” that was satirizing british school, healthcare, and capiatlism. make of that what you will.

4. it predates monty python as well but absolutely demonstrates much of the same humouor and influence and aims. i can’t explain the surrealness of it.

5. the disillusioned students aren’t disillusioned for no reason. the school system strips them of their character, reduces them to family names and no personality, turns a blind eye to abuse at the level of peers, encourages harmful hierarchies within the student body that involve active abuse and corporal punishment, and aims to produce machines instead of people. this is an understandable reason to be upset. it’s something we still grapple with today.

6. the context of the school shooting in the film absolutely must, for my intentions here, be separated as much as possible from our modern conception of the school shooting. the ones that we encounter in the modern world are certainly a product of the issues that the film brings up, but i want to do my best to look at it in its own time, as much as i am able to with my limited knowledge

7. the modern school shooter tends to be a “lone-wolf” domestic terrorist, and i will not hesitate to call them such. they tend to be incels, white, straight, young men who perceive themselves as being rejected by women, or who are motivated by alt-right and fascistic beliefs and goals. these are acts meant to inspire terror in those populations. i would certainly classify these as hate crimes, since that’s their primary motivation. in If... on the other hand, they are very clearly attacking the system of british education itself and the people who perpetuate it. (in a lot of situations, this isn’t inherently much different from the way that a lot of modern school shooters see themselves: important to consider.) rather than being violence deliberately directed at the students, it’s specifically on Speech Day, where parents, administration, faculty, etc. are all present. These are the people in power; these are the ones who send their children to these schools, who fund them, who run them, who allow, encourage, and enact the violence. it is not an aimless violence, nor is it a hate-motivated violence.

8. the shooting in the film is meant to be farcical and satirical. who would have imagined, in 1968, that this scene, meant to be the pinnacle of overdramatized and hyperviolent revolution in a satirical manner, not meant remotely to approach reality, would become something that people avoid watching because it has in fact happened to them? in 1968, who would have predicted Brenda Spencer, Columbine, Stoneman Douglas, Sandy Hook, Virginia Tech? there was one significant school shooting in 1966, in Austin, that killed 28 and was the deadliest mass shooting for 18 years. but, and while this doesn’t diminish the violence, i want to emphasize that that took place at a university in america, not at a boarding school in england. the fundamental difference between the concept of adults, former military, gunning down 28 people; and a set of schoolchildren taking over the boarding school’s armoury and shooting at the headmaster, having been taught how to shoot those very guns on that very schoolground, is an extreme difference.

9. so, the shooting is designed to be an act of violence, targeting a system that the film paints as being actively harmful and deserving of a takedown, using the very weapons that the school taught them to use but never anticipated to have turned on them, and created in a farcical light: the idea that “this won’t happen, it’s too outrageous to be real”.

10. how do we take this these days? it seems, in many ways, like very little has changed. oh, corporal punishment isn’t practiced (or at least, not sanctioned, but certainly practiced). students are still molded to machine standard on the basis of class and aspirations spoon-fed to them by their parents. there’s still a significant divide between the working class and the capitalist class. there’s still rage simmering at the way that students have been abused by their schools. the violence that was seen as being overexaggerated at the time became a reality for a completely different set of revolutionary reasons, and the film balances the same tightrope as the matrix, as fight club, etc., between being commentary and satire that violent men will mark as aspirational and true rather than satirical and a warning

11. (that’s not to touch on the misogyny of the film)

this is apparently voted one of the best british films of all time, but that doesn’t mean much a lot of the time. it being a best voted doesn’t mean it’s popular or common or well known among people outside of britain, or outside of that generation; it doesn’t mean it was understood and received as intended.

the other thing i want to bring up about the film is the question of reality. the whole thing is so surreal and strange that the line between reality and imagination begins to blur regularly, but particularly near the end. there’s the question of whether this shooting actually happened in the film, or whether it was merely a twisted fantasy of mcdowell’s character. frankly, i would say that it doesn’t matter if it’s real, according to the movie or not. it genuinely doesn’t. this is what we as the audience see, and the intent is the same: either the boy is so driven to this violence that he actually does it, or he’s so driven to it that he fantasizes vividly about doing it. the point of it is still the same. it isn’t our job to know reality from fantasy; it’s possible that if it’s made up, the character himself isn’t aware of that. of course the film won’t make sense, it’ll be muddled and confusing and unrealistic, it’s satire and meant to bend the rules of reality to make a point. (those rules of reality included: schoolchildren do not use semiautomatic weaponry on their own schools. except for in texas, it does not happen.)

so what’s this to do with dark academia? let me answer that when it’s not 4am.

[rebeebit]

So, your parents are getting old.

TL;DR

Stuff: start cleaning out stuff they don’t need now. You might read “The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning” as a guide.

Where to live: research retirement and assisted living options in your parents’ area.

Medical considerations: HIPPA authorization, advanced directives, long term care insurance

Financial considerations: accounts, power of attorney and trusts

Dementia: what to remember when your parents forget.

So, your parents are getting old.

Most of us have parents. Many, if not most, of us will be supporting them somehow as they age. And I read somewhere that most people are not happy with how their parents have prepared for aging (I’d cite it, but I ran across that statistic a couple of months ago and ... you’ll have to take my word for it). I’ve been observing my parents as they age for a while, and in the past two years, my sister and I have become very active in the process of making sure they are safe and cared for. I decided to write a guide to help all of my friends who have parents so maybe you can avoid some of the mistakes my parents made. There are lots of resources out there, so this is by no means exhaustive, but I hope someone finds it useful!

STUFF

This is the easiest way to start, it doesn’t require uncomfortable conversations or lengthy phone calls, but could instead be an opportunity to reminisce and connect with your parents. If your parents have lived in their house for any length of time, they’ve probably amassed some STUFF. My folks lived in their house for 43 years, and they abhorred wastefulness. They also had loads of room for storage - you can imagine how much stuff they accumulated after 43 years! My mistake: I didn’t reclaim items I wanted over the years to the degree that I could have, and had to scramble to get the things I wanted when the time came to move my parents out of their house. So here are some ideas.

Your parents might feel strongly about passing on certain items - find out what these are if you don’t already know. Then you could suggest they give them to you for your birthday or another holiday. This way they get the satisfaction of knowing you have their special belongings while they’re still alive.

Did you leave your stuff at their house when you moved out, and you just never got around to getting it? That’s on YOU! Get it now, or get rid of it, if possible! 

As you’re going through your stuff, you might “accidentally” run across items your parents don’t use anymore. Help them by donating these items or throwing them away.

The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning by Margareta Magnusson is an excellent guide to this process, and a quick read. Read it, and if possible, suggest that your parents read it.

We were able to move our parents’ photo albums, but they had boxes and boxes of unsorted photos and even slides. Encourage them to go through these old memories now and put them in albums - or better yet, digitize them. They won’t have room for all those boxes when they downsize.

If you wind up having to get rid of everything at once, like we did, there will undoubtedly be heartbreak as valued heirlooms get sent to the thrift shop (or the dumpster) and even loss of some income because you won’t have time to drag it to consignment shops. The more you deal with now, the happier everyone will be with the outcome.

WHERE TO LIVE

Aging in place seems like the best option for many people, but it can be quite costly. There’s no deadline by which your parents should move out of their house, and perhaps they never will. This is where you might have a conversation about the future with your parents: what do they envision for themselves, what do they want? This is a great way to phrase it, as it sends the message that you want to know their desires for aging, so you can meet their wishes as best you can. Regardless of what they say, you can do a little homework into options in their geographic area. We didn’t make too many mistakes in this area, but my parents weren’t willing to move in advance of it being a necessity, and then when it WAS necessary in the summer of 2020 … well, who would move their parents into communal living during a pandemic? 

Several friends told me how important it is to move earlier rather than later, as it makes it easier to add levels of care as your parents age. Keep this in mind! Find out what is available, and make sure options for living include assisted living, skilled nursing, AND memory care. The last two are not interchangeable: memory care is very specific for dementia patients. If you have time, take a tour of a few places to get an idea of what life might be like for your parents there.

The move to assisted living was very important for our mother. Our father was hospitalized 15 or more times in the past year, and two of those included multiweek stays in nursing rehab - in fact, he’s still there now, and it’s been over 11 weeks (as of 7.24.21). The time alone in the house was difficult for my mother, and she will benefit from routines, social interaction, and 3 meals a day that she doesn’t have to cook for herself ... among other benefits! Moving was so hard for them to contemplate because they didn’t want to leave their community - which is very understandable - but moving gets much more difficult as your parents age, and in my mom’s case, as her dementia has progressed.

MEDICAL CONSIDERATIONS

Helping your parents navigate the healthcare system is difficult. I won’t claim to be an expert in this at all, but will at least tell you what I’ve encountered.

RIGHT NOW: find out if your parents have long-term care insurance. If one or both of your parents has a lengthy stay in the hospital/nursing home, Medicare will eventually STOP covering them, even if they need skilled nursing or memory care. This will easily start costing $350/day, which is $100,000/year. Long-term care will kick in after 90 days in hospital/nursing/memory care, and will cover most, if not all, of the costs. 

You will eventually need HIPAA authorization with your parents’ doctors. This allows the doctor to talk freely to you about your parents’ health. Without it, the doctor can listen to your concerns, but they cannot share information. My mother was reluctant to give this to us, but when she finally did, we were able to get her evaluated for dementia and take away her car keys. 

If you live close enough to go to doctor appointments with your parents, find a way to do this. When my father returned from one of his earlier but more serious hospitalizations, I requested to join him at his follow-up appointment so I could hear what the doctor had to say and ask my own questions. My father is a reasonable guy and allowed this, and it was really helpful.

Advanced Directives are their medical wishes about resuscitation. It’s a morbid conversation, and you may not want to discuss the details with them, but you should make sure they have their wishes in place.

While you’re on morbid topics, make sure you know their wishes regarding funeral and memorial services and burial arrangements. Some people even want input into their own obituaries. We knew both my parents wanted to be cremated (and where they wanted us to scatter the ashes), but we were surprised to learn my dad did not want any services. Good thing we asked!

FINANCIAL CONSIDERATIONS

For your peace of mind, you will want to know what the state of your parents’ finances is, and you will likely need to manage these finances at some point. Here is what I learned about this realm of the aging process:

Set up autopay for as many bills as you can for them, if they haven’t done so already. As my father’s health situation became more overwhelming, bills got overlooked and they started having to pay late fees. This is an easy step that you can do now and avoid the hassle later.

Suggest your parents simplify things. Do they have multiple credit cards, or multiple bank accounts? Suggest that they consolidate. Again, life gets more complicated with aging, and it becomes harder to manage. Trying to keep track of multiple accounts will be a headache for them, and they could make costly mistakes.

Make sure your parents have designated beneficiaries for all accounts. Apparently the probate process after a person dies is lengthy and annoying, and not something you’ll want to have to deal with on top of your grief when your parents pass away. On active accounts, like checking or savings accounts, try to get your name put on the account. This will help you with managing their finances when the time comes. Banks will literally not talk to you if you are not the account owner or don’t have POA.

Power of Attorney. This document WILL have to be signed, and you will want to discuss with your parents when, not if, they want to do this. The sooner the better. Sign it and scan it, and save it on your phone. This way you can email it to whoever needs it immediately so you can manage all of your parents’ affairs. I needed POA to cancel their phone service, sell their house, sell their car ... you name it.

Finally, if their finances are looking good, read on. Talk to your parents about putting their assets in a trust, especially if you have kids. If you’ve read this far, your parents probably want your kids (and you) to have something of their estate after they’re gone, but they can’t leave anything behind if they haven’t protected their assets. Medical care is expensive, and Medicaid will not kick in until you have only about $1,500 to your name, so protecting assets is important for some people. I don’t know much about this process, but if it is a concern for your parents, encourage them to reach out to their lawyer and financial advisor to take care of this.

DEMENTIA

My mother’s dementia has been the most challenging part for my sister and me over the past several years, but if you think this is in your future, it doesn’t have to be. As a society we’ve gotten better at talking about mental health, and that should also extend to dementia. As with any other health problem, early detection and intervention will lead to better outcomes. In my mother’s case, we attempted to intervene in 2017 but were unsuccessful. My mother was finally diagnosed in January 2021, but at this point she had progressed to mild dementia, and has been unable to process or accept the diagnosis. This has caused her to have worse anxiety because she’s upset about forgetting things, and fewer coping skills because she doesn’t recognize what is wrong with her. While early intervention may not prolong the life of your parent by much, it will lead to better quality of life - which is why you have read this far in the first place, you want your parents to be safe and cared for!

A primary care doctor will do a preliminary screening for dementia, so it is important for this screening to be on your parents’ radar as soon as possible. At this point, it is not automatically done at a certain age; you have to ask for it (which is idiotic, but that’s our health care system, so…). The screening will be important because it will hopefully give you peace of mind that any memory problems are age-related, and not a cause for concern. If not, it will allow the doctor to refer your parent to a specialist and get the appropriate interventions. While there is no cure for Alzheimer’s, there are some drugs that show promise, but also processing and accepting the diagnosis are important for implementing coping skills.

If your parents are diagnosed with dementia, there are loads of resources out there to help. It’s really hard for children to cope with this disease in their parents, as it’s the beginning of the role-reversal where YOU become the parent. Some tips that have resonated with me are that, in dementia, the brain still processes emotions normally, even if memories are starting to erode. So when you inevitably get impatient, frustrated, or even angry with your parent, keep this in mind: they won’t remember why you got angry, they will just remember how you made them feel. Depression and dementia go hand-in-hand because dementia patients get told so often “don’t you remember?” “I already told you that!” and so on. I am by no means perfect in how I handle my mother, but this tip has helped me find patience and calm.

If you’re like me, and you’ve seen both of your grandmothers and your mother decline due to dementia, you have more than a little concern about what the future holds for you. I recommend reading Remember by Lisa Genova (author of Still Alice). The book eased my anxiety about memory lapses I’ve noticed in myself, as lately I regard any lapse as a harbinger of dementia. She also has tips for improving your memory and for preventing Alzheimer’s - which my mother and likely my grandmother had. The number one tip? Sleep.

REACH OUT!!

I was fortunate to have many good friends lend their ears to me while I’ve been in the process with my parents, and several who have been through this and offered their advice and support as well. It was invaluable to have this support system, so I offer that to you. Please reach out if you have questions, want advice, or just want to vent about what you’re going through. If you like, add comments about your own experience below. 

[aaluminiumas]

Merry Christmas Chopper

Time flows differently at sea, especially on the Grand Line: the weather in this part of the world never followed the ordinary calendar people had outside the ocean, so a blizzard in the middle of the summer wouldn’t surprise anyone. The climate depended on the island itself, and the inhabitants stuck to their specific routine maintained throughout the years: the holidays of the Fish-Men didn’t coincide with those of the Minks thus a lucky traveler may get a chance to become acquainted with rituals and traditions of all races.

The Straw Hat Pirates had already seen a lot. That’s why Nami yearning for Christmas she last celebrated a couple of years ago, made sure that the ship steered for another Winter Island and then ordered to throw a real party. Initially, only two latched on the idea: Sanji who agreed to do anything offered by Nami, and Robin, as usual peacefully calm, whose multiple hands immediately embarked to festoon Sunny. Luffy seemed to worried about one thing only – whether they were going to have meat; Zoro followed his Captain’s suit and asked about drinks – again, following Luffy’s suit, he got punched in the head and crawled away with gloomy grumbling. As a result of the powerful blow, the swordsman deigned to hang a garland over his mat on the deck. Sanji waspishly advised not to remove it in the future in order to define the borders of the improvised botanical garden and what is the vantage point to feast the eyes upon the ugliest plant.

While Brook, Usopp and Franky were trying to part the fighters to the rippling laughter of their Captain, Chopper took advantage of the common turmoil and ran over to Nami. He had first-hand knowledge of Christmas: as resident of a Winter Island, he often celebrated the holiday. Even when other reindeer atrociously lambasted him, he kept believing in miracles and never doubted Santa and his presents. However, the presents weren’t the main concern: absolutely unspoiled, he was waiting for some other guest – the red-nosed reindeer, Rudolph, who was claimed to have been mocked himself. Since childhood he swore he would stay up till morning to see Santa and his famous sleigh; he was sure he would talk to Rudolph in the animal language asking how he managed to take the lead, to turn his flaw into an assert and to overcome the sneers. Unfortunately, Chopper kept falling asleep – and woke up with bitter frustration written upon the snout. Later in the morning he disappeared in his lab and crammed another book borrowed from shrewd Kureha who unexpectedly failed to grasp what ate him away every winter so desperately.

Nami wasn’t paying attention to the skirmish between the cook and the swordsman: she continued decorating her tangerine trees and enlaced the boughs with colored garlands even though they hadn’t yet reach the island.

“Nami,” Chopped called in a low voice awkwardly tapping his hooves against each other and snuffling, “Is… Santa coming to us?”

Puzzled by the question, the navigator nodded.

“Of course, Chopper. Santa comes to all good kids… and adults. To the bad ones too,” she narrowed her eyes, pursed her lips and slowly turned her head in the direction of the bickering friends. “But there is not enough coal for those in the whole world. It’s easier to send them to a mine.”

“Are there deer, too?” he went on, still meek and at the same time more enthusiastic. “Or is he traveling by ship? He can’t get here by his sleigh, right?..”

Nami looked at him, clearly perplexed: she wasn’t ready for such questions; practically deprived of childhood herself, she never had illusions as to Santa’s personality but the girl didn’t venture to shatter her friend’s faith in this mythological figure. To her Christmas was a day when she could finally express her gratitude and affection towards all the crew members (and to get a nice present for her outstanding navigation skills) but for Chopper it was an evening of miracles and didn’t want to wreck it all.

“Doctor-san,” Robin suddenly came to rescue with her low voice pierced with confidence, “his sleigh runs across the sky, not by the sea. Why would he need a ship if it is safer to travel above multiple dangers of the Grand Line?”

The archeologist’s words mollified the reindeer: his large woeful eyes beamed in a heartbeat. If Nami was able to fib a little, Robin would rather remain silent or elude.

“Don’t you happen to know,” Chopper hesitated for another moment rattling his hooves again, “when is he coming? I would… I would love to just have a peep… at Rudolph. I heard that he was… different from others. Just like me. But I have a blue nose…”

Even if Robin was taken aback, she didn’t reveal her astonishment in the slightest: her face remained serene and tranquil. With a small apologetic smile upon the lips, the woman shook her head and adorned his tiny antlers with a garland interwoven with a sparkling tinsel.

“Unfortunately, Doctor-san, I cannot give you a proper answer to that. The number of good kids changes from year to year, and he has to pay a visit to them all. But I am certain this time he will stay a little longer: after all, you have done so many good things that you deserve a special present.”

Encouraged by the praise, Chopper was about to start dancing: the reindeer still couldn’t get used to the fact that he was genuinely loved and cherished even though aloof and unsociable Law tended to commend him every once in a while. And if Nami expressed her emotions in quite a ribald way, Robin tried to find the right approach to everyone not resorting to punches and manipulations – even a rejection didn’t sound adamant though her voice was always firm.

“Then,” the doctor scratched his blue nose, “If you see him… can you please wake me up? I promise not to fall asleep but,” here he got embarrassed completely, “Every year I just pass out and… I would love to…”

“Of course Doctor-san,” Robin interrupted him soflty, “We’ll be on guard.”

“Don’t worry Chopper,” Nami bolstered her friend, “A mouse won’t slip by Zoro, let alone an old man with a flock of deer. We’ll take care of it!”

As soon as their inspired friend rushed to his little laboratory equipped with all the necessary things for his endless experiments, Nami crossed her arms in the chest staring at Robin with a suspicious grimace on the visage.

“I certainly love your idea,” she muttered in a low voice, “But what is that you suggest us doing? We cannot steal a deer, put a red nose on it and introduce it as Rudolph. I couldn’t even think that he’s so…”

“Flustered? Excited? This is quite obvious,” the woman adjusted a glossy purple ball on the tangerine branch so its ribbon didn’t cover the image. “He doesn’t really have someone… to share his experience with. Whether we want it or not, we… do not fully understand him.”

“So what are we supposed to do? To turn ourselves into deer?” said Nami sarcastically. “Can’t even imagine myself… this way. I’m no doe. What kind of doe… would I be?..”

“The most beautiful doe in the world, Nami-swan! You will be the most charming female deer in th–”

Robin chuckled: Sanji didn’t manage to accomplish his laudatory ode as he got maimed which nonetheless failed to cool him down.

“You’re just in time, Sanji-kun,” the woman smiled thus provoking another bout of jitter. “Do you know the legend about Rudolph the Deer?”

Soon enough the whole crew began to arrange the Christmas party for Chopper. Nami, as usual, was in charge: she succeeded to draw attention to the discussion by heavy blows and threatening stares while Robin put forward various proposals that seemed suitable. Luffy only comprehended that Chopper ‘had some wrong Christmas’ and offered to pile the deer with presents but the idea implying a thousand of meat dishes didn’t sit well with the rest of the crew. Zoro supported his Captain on the topic of presents but added on his own behalf: let the swirlybrow make a present to them all by locking himself up in the kitchen throughout the celebration. Sanji pledged to cut the swordsman in pieces and feed seagulls, deprecated. Brook proposed to compose a song – and Robin’s hands writing down more or less reasonable suggestions, started jotting something in her notebook.

“Why not write him a letter?” exclaimed Usopp out of the blue. “It won’t replace Rudolph of course but… at least we will show we care about him.”

“And then he’ll eventually understand that Marimo is a good-for-nothing sentinel who hasn’t heard the thud of the hooves,” Sanji noticed melancholically, lighting another cigarette. “What a remarkably useless plant. Shall we toss it overboard?”

“I don’t need my swords to beat the shit out of you,” hissed Zoro flaring up. “Damn you, ero-cook!..”

It didn’t take much time to put things in apple pie order and reassert the breached discipline: Nami scattered the two in different directions, and both the swordsman and the cook rubbed their heads and squabbled in hushed voices not to instigate the navigator who seemed to like Usopp’s offer.

The preparations lasted for the whole day: Robin sneaked into the farthest corner of the deck to write the letter; Sanji wearing a funny apron garnished the desserts with cotton candy. As for Zoro, he had risked to get a carver knife between the eyes and now imitated some frenzied activity – according to the cook, it was ‘frenzied enough to outshine the quickest algae drifting with the stream’. Brook, laughing, was playing a song by ear while Usopp was wrapping the presents. Nami kept things tidy: she prevented Luffy from pushing his nose into every single box he saw. Franky, though, took care of it himself: he had cut out several wooden boxes for various trinkets. Now he improved his invention and fit locks into them – exclusively by the navigator’s request so eager to keep the spirit of Christmas. Albeit none of the tasks looked hard to finish, they appeared to be time-consuming, so none of the pirated noticed when and how the warm climate gave way to pleasant frost and slight snowfall.

Chopper went out to the deck only in the evening and started perusing snowflakes, so brittle and peculiar that they seemed to be knitted. They sank into his auburn fur and didn’t melt at all as if they morphed into a scintillating garland. Back at home they looked less fragile and yet bigger; accustomed to blizzards and cold, he learnt to ignore them and now, after all those visits to hot countries, a simply snowstorms morphed into a hibernal miracle.

He remembered the first time he saw himself in the reflection of the frozen river. He remembered his resentment for himself, that blue nose, and roared smashing whatever he could smash. He remembered how he nuzzled into white and fluffy snow hoping that the color of the nose would alter, and he, Chopper, would be just like others.

He also recollected the frosty redolence Hululuk’s fur coat exuded; he recalled Kureha’s perfume mingled with the fragrance of the wind. Her hands were always tender and smelled ice while Hululuk reminded him of the first snowflakes’ scent. It dawned upon him how much he actually could reminisce: that cheerful laughter, ridiculous stories the Doctor used to tell, and those midnight talks – they spoke about everything in the world. It was almost eternity ago when Chopper lost his best friend – and they still had so much to discuss. Hiluluk always supported him, and, probably in his own manner, taught the little reindeer to keep his head up.

“Merry Christmas,” a familiar gentle voice came; Chopper sharply turned in the direction of the sound and instantly noticed a figure he knew so well: it was a tad shorter than he remembered and moved angularly but the kind smile and warm eyes made everything clear. It was exactly the person who encouraged Chopper to become a doctor.

“Doctor Hiluluk!” the reindeer darted towards the man feeling he was barely able to squelch the tears that were about gush out from the eyes. “Doctor Hiluluk!.. How did you..? You are...”

The intruder laughed in a low tone and embraced his friend caringly.

“You’ve become so big and strong,” the doctor patted Chopper by the shoulder, “Are you happy with them?.. I’ve heard a lot about you, Chopper. I am exceedingly proud of you. You have become a talented physician. You are definitely second to none.”

The little reindeer didn’t release his friend – and almost ignored the praise. Millions of questions were swarming in his head but he didn’t hurry to ask them. Hiluluk didn’t insist on a decent conversation: he kept smiling looking at the reindeer cursing himself for the cruelty he had shown in the past. How could throw him out sugarcoating his atrocity and calling it care? Why didn’t he tell the truth letting Chopper make his own decision whether to stick around or to deal with his own life? Yes, that notorious quack felt ashamed and couldn’t disappoint his friend, but at the moment, after all those years, he finally realized that it may have been the only blunder he regretted so much. If he could turn back time, nothing of it would have happened.

“They do love you,” the guest drawled squatting before Chopper. “And protect you too. I am glad to know that you have found a family… despite everything. I am so sorry that I cannot be near.”

“But you are here!” the reindeer exclaimed blinking his watery eyes. “I’ll introduce you to my nakamas. They’ll like, I assure you! Sanji will cook the pies you are so fond of, Brook will sing for you, you’ll talk to Robin and–”

With a sad smile on the lips Hiluluk shook his head.

“Alas, it won’t do.” He sighed heavily. “You have a different life now… But,” he straightened up, “I have a little surprise for you, Chopper. I know who you are waiting for. Unfortunately, he cannot…”

Robin’s soft hand touched the glossy fur. Flummoxed, Nami noticed that Chopper finally awoke and placed a small box near the adoze reindeer: it was different from those that Franky had created. This one had incised ornaments and a carving of a certain mushroom on the lid. Still sleepy, Chopper kept staring at the present: did someone do that specifically for him?

“Open it, Doctor-san. This undoubtedly belongs to you.”

Robin’s honeyed mellow voice seemed to have pushed him, and the little hooves lifted the lid. Inside, there was a handful of pink powder – the same powder his friend had been working on, – and a letter with a stamp of a deer hoof. The whole crew gathered around: Usopp failed to wake him up, and panicked alarming the rest – even Zoro, normally apathetic and detached, scowled and rushed to rescue.

The whole ship was emblazoned and festooned. Nami had cleared the place underneath her tangerines, and now neatly wrapped presents were peacefully lying there revealing the cards written in Usopp’s and Franky’s untidy yet diligent hands. Sanji was serving cocoa with little cloud of marshmallow. Exclusively for Chopper he had created rosy petals of cotton candy. Robin, normally calm, adjusted bows, knots and decorations striving to make everything look like a picture. The evergreen lawn where the crew used to sprawl and relax, turned white: no one even tried to get rid of the glistening snow which reflected all Sunny’s embers and glimmers.

“Merry Christmas, Chopper,” Nami flashed him a broad smile.

“Merry Christmas!” shouted both Zoro and Sanji and looked daggers at each other.

“Su-u-u-u-u-u-per-r-r-r-r Christmas!” Franky struck a pose raising both his arms in the air.

“Mefwy Fuwissmas!” pronounced Luffy proudly munching on the ham he’d just stolen from the kitchen. A sound of Sanji’s powerful kick muffled another sentence he was about to utter.

“We love you, Chopper!” candidly declared Usopp.

“Yo-ho-ho-ho-ho!.. Merry Christmas, Chopper-san. Thank you for suturing our wounds! Though… yo-ho-ho… I don’t have skin to be sutured! Yo-ho-ho-ho-ho!”

The little reindeer sniveled. Probably he should let his past go – to let it get dispersed in a blur of pink petals.