#send an ask! an anon! a comment! with a song! and ill make it happen

[gaydraisaitl]

thank u to the icons who are reblogging my fancams <3 if u have any requests lmk i am woefully unemployed and i would be happy to make ur fancam dreams come tru

[papirouge]

im the jpop anon. thank you for the long and thoughtful reply! :)

yeah, theres something really wrong with kpoppers. i actually remember what perfume video the "fat legs" comments were from - it was their first budokan concert back in 2008, i think they were wearing the pink outfits (or perhaps the yellow ones from drream fighter). i think what those kpoppers might meant were kashiyukas thighs, since she wore very short shorts in the pink outfits, and while her legs are thin her thighs are plumper. but like, thats literally what makes her known as "the hot one" among fans. like shes very renowed for having very nice legs, and in general its normal for women to have bigger tighs and wider hips. i guess one could just shrug it off as kpop fans being salty and petty, but many kpop girl members have crazy thin legs. like if you look up snsd aka girls generation, youll realize that many of their promotional images have them with really skinny legs. one of the very few kpop songs that i like is "gee" by this girl group, and i decided to look at the comments of the dance ver and some poeple were defending one of the girls because koreans fans were being mean to her for being "fat". i think she was called jessica or something like that, and i look her up to know which one of them was and like, if they didnt mention anything i wouldnt even have realized but her "problem" was basically that she had this "square-y" body type and that made her look like 0,5 millimeters bigger that the rest.

another thing that happened to me very recently was that i was looking for a notebook to buy and there were selling some with kpop groups in the cover, and i stumbled upon one that had this boy band named stray kids, and god dammit... these guys have such heavy plastic surgery like wtf... some of them look like literal wax figures its scary. i remember when kpop fans were saying it was racist how some people made fun of boy bands by saying they all looked the same, and sure, definitely some of them probably were, but you cant deny that some of these guys (and girls) dont end up looking the same when they get their faces botched up all to follow the same very narrow korean beauty standards.

and yeah, i can see the difference between kanon and akari, but i also think it was because kanon was much bigger than akari. like she even made fun of herselkf many times when she introduced herself. i always remember when michishige sayumi was asked which animal fit their teammates the best, and she said kanon was a hippo or an elephant 💀 i always got the impression that kanon making fun of herself like referencing she had a full meal before a performance so she was full of energy was a defense mechanism - a lot of fat people usually make fun of themseves because they want to do it before others can make fun of them first, like "look at me, im fat and i know it and dont take it seriously, please dont make fun of me because i already do it and it doesnt hurt me at all!".

speaking of sayumi, she once was also asked which helloproject group she would least like to be stuck with on an island, and she said berryz koubou because they seemed like they liked to eat alot.. im guessing she was referring to maasa and risako.

i wanted to say more but this got so fucking long lol sorry papi... perhaps ill send another message later...

Tbh Kpop visuals are so ridiculously filtered that I'm pretty sure those girls are made prettier and skinnier than they really are. People these days are soooooo freaking guillible and believe anything they see online. These girls get ps to oblivion and still need to be photoshopped like mad.... They're not perfect. Nobody is.

The thing is japanese idols aren't expected to look perfect like Korean do. Jpop idols aren't supposed to look 'flawless'. Perfume debuted when they were like 12-13 years old ; we saw them grow before our eyes, so if they did anything shady with their appareance everyone would have noticed. These women are soon 35 and still kicking.. - I wonder how these Kpop girls will look at that age 👀

I don't even think that Kpoppers know what "sexy" is anyway. What's stricking with Kpop is that despite how much polished their aesthetic are, they emanate 0% charisma. They give off an absolutely frigid energy. Every single of their move and face expression are policed. Kpop MV would make anyone epileptic so much shit is going on because that's how bad the artist themselves can't put it up themselves.

At least, old school jpop idols still have a lil bit of personality - which is why we still remember of them 10, 20 years later. The same couldn't be said for today's one tbh (I lost interest after Morning Musume 13./Michishige graduated because all the newcomers were more dull than the others... Even Riho who was hailed as The Ace of the group didn't leave the same impact as OG members (Ai Takashi, Tsuji Nozomi, Ai Kago, Maki Goto, Reina Tanaka, etc.) AKB48 fell off after the Kami 7 all graduated (the sister groups are meh).

But to be fair, the new Reiwa era (more conservative ) isn't just prone to leave raw personalities pop out in like that... Ai Kago stunts would have made her cancelled without afterthought or second chances today...😬 The idol group era is pretty much over in Japan. Right now, 'boring edgy' like Aimyon or Yonezu Kenshi are popping.

I can't bring myself to find Kpop boys attractive. Period. They are all ugly and I have no shame to say it because they were all much better before doing plastic surgery. So no it's not racist to say they all look the same because plastic surgery made them look the same - not their race...

I DARE someone to tell me the 2 dudes on the left aren't the same. The one at the top particularly looks like an otome game character 💀 like- he straight up looks like his face was DRAWN.

And you know what freaks me out the most? It's that from one picture to another THEY DON'T LOOK LIKE THEMSELVES??!?

Like wtf is this shit???

It's supposed to be the same band but the faces.... don't match others pictures 💀

You know society colllapsed now that stray kid dudes are considered attractive....when back in the day we had natural and authentic beauty like Takeshi Kaneshiro *sigh*

downgrade of the millennium. Mishima killed himself for this.

And you know what freaks me out the most about these kpoppers? It's that they seemingly don't "exist" beside these ridiculous doctored photoshoot. Are there any candids of them out and about in the street? Without perfect lightening, angle and filters? Tbh I wouldn't be surprised they are AI or shit like that.

Perfume look the same when they do bc....they arent botched

Michishige is RUTHLESS 😭 I mean, in Morning Musume she had the persona of being a narcissist so it makes sense she put down other girls for not being as pretty as her. But yeah dunking on a girl who's like a decade younger than you is shitty. Those idol group are shoving together girls from entire different generations (Michishige was in her mid 20s when she graduated and the youngest member of the group were like 13-14 years old 🥴) so awkward girldrama situations are bound to happen.... That being said, it's a very bad idea to get into an idol group if you're feeling awkward about your physically appearance... Kanon should've never been in Momusu, imo.

I always found Berryz Kōbō was much coherent than Morning Musume ; members were closer in age and experience. I was a smaller band and the lineup was consistent so you weren't lost in the amount of new faces every other years (like Momusu regular call for new members).

I think its fitting that some of its members love eating when they have a song called 1億3千万総ダイエット王国 ("A kindgom of 130 million [people] complete diet[ing]") *the population of Japan is of 125 million but I guess the evened it out for the song that was kinda critical of diet culture. Good for them tbh And that song was bop. Berryz Kōbō truly delivered the few years before disbanding.

[empiregalaxy]

Leaving Tumblr

Dear Tumblr, 

The cliche goes 'this is a hard post to write.' Well, it's not. This is very easy to write. I'm leaving Tumblr, and you should too. Here's why.

I joined this social media site in 2012, as I was drawn to discussing films. Soon, I got into 'fandoms', mainly Buffy The Vampire Slayer and A Song Of Ice And Fire. For the first few years, there was no problem. Well, except one. Let's call her 'MN.' MN and I met on Yahoo Answers, and we shared private e-mails. I felt safe around her, and I confided in her some of my secrets. She helped me when a Tumblr user were sending sexually crass messages to me. During a time when my social life was falling apart, she helped me. Then one day, she stopped talking to me. She didn't block or unfollow me, but she pretended that I didn't exist. No replies to my friendly comments (she'd reply to everyone else).

 At the time, I thought I did something wrong. But now I realise she was a coward who didn't have the guts to tell me that she no longer wanted to be my friend. That's the thing about Tumblr. It's full of cowards, who lack the intellectual or moral ability to confront their 'friends.'  And when you mention that, they convince you that the problem lies with you.

So I moved away from the film fandom. 

During the next few years, I get more involved in the ASOIAF fandom, particularly the Arya Stark section. And yeah, I was an SJW (vomit!). I would write posts about Arya, how sucky the Sansa fandom was. But overtime, I saw a shift. What started as simple, light-hearted bashing of Sansa fans turned sinister. They 'controlled' the fandom and the mods at ASOIAF university. Looking back it, I want to tell them that Arya and Sansa are both fictional characters. They aren't real. But the Sansa fans you were bashing and calling names, spreading lies about? They are. I often say that 'Tumblr treats real people like fictional characters, and fictional characters like real people.' It's true. All of these characters that you care about... they aren't real. And people don't have to treat them like they are. 

So I 'defect' from the Arya fandom. And oh boy did they turn on me. Some are more slower than others, and they tell me that the reason why they didn't block me immediately was because 'they didn't want to hurt my feelings.' That's utter bullshit. They did it because they were scared of the fallout. They were cowards. But once they did block me, they'd post lies about me. That I was a stalker. That I was a bad person. I was open slather once they decided that I was no longer one of them. That's the thing about Tumblr: it's tribal. People think there actions are morally justified, if the person receiving them is 'bad.' Everything about me was insulted, even my gifsets.

A user who was particularly vicious was Marie. She and I were mutuals for well over 18 months. But she'd call me a bad person, a creep, mentally ill, an evil Reylo or whatever. Worse, was that these Arya stans were discussing me on Twitter. When I exposed them, I only had my closest mutuals at the time supporting me. (I had over 2,000 followers. Only 3 bothered to ask if I was okay). Users I never heard of suddenly had 'hot takes' about me. 

Lies were spread about me, non stop. I realised that not only was this behaviour permitted on Tumblr, but it was actively rewarded.

And it was all over a FUCKING FICTIONAL CHARACTER. 

This happened in 2016, which involved Brexit and the presidental election of Donald Trump. Look, I believe in free speech. I don't care if you are for or against them. Personally, I despise the European Union and if I were American, yeah, I could have voted Republican. But that's irrelevant. Tumblr users were so unhappy with those results, that anyone who did like Trump and Farage were labelled all the awful names in the book. Racist. Sexist. Nazi. Not only did this teach me that Tumblr users have no idea what those words mean, but that they are willing to use them liberally in order to gain power. Looking back at it, I'm glad Trump won. I'm glad Brexit happened. Not only because of politics, but it meant that you guys LOST. You better get used to that feeling, because if you continue to treat people the way you treated me, that feeling will soon be the only thing you know. 

A common misconception in the media is that Tumblr users act like 'SJWs' because they are young and ignorant. I mean, sure. But Tumblr users act like SJWs because they are fundamentally, cultish in nature and adhere to a hideous morality. I study Modern History, and a big part of that is empathy. What motivates someone to join the SS? Or run a gulag? Or torture someone? I manage to answer those questions, with relative ease. But I still have no idea why Tumblr users are so nasty and stupid. Like, none of you know shit about anything. 

The breaking point, when I realised 'we are all fucked' was when neo-Nazi Richard Spencer got punched. Look, I disagree with EVERYTHING Antifa and the Alt-right do. Celebrating any form of political violence leads to a nasty path. One day you are celebrating some one getting punched, and the next, you are cheering people getting slaughtered. People should never be CELEBRATED for violence. There is no moral justification for it. And you guys are too stupid to figure out that once all the 'Nazis' are gone, you are next to be sent to the gulag. You see yourself as distributing justice, but never receiving punishment. And oh, that is going to hurt you long term.

I would subtely mention why Spencer getting punched was wrong. But people on Tumblr were saying 'if anyone doesn't support Antifa, they should get punched too.' That's utter tyranny, and its something a Nazi would do. Since 2017, the countless violence by AntiFa is astounding. And Tumblr cheers it on like its a fucking joke. Like the real world is a theatre, and we are all patrons in the globe. Well, I've got news for you. The world doesn't exist for your pleasure. People don't have to act in certain ways to make you happy. The universe is not a 'safe space.' And you have the arrogant audacity to think you can bully it into changing.

Worse, was that I was fearful to speak out against it. That's utter evil. I understood the meaning of the term 'self-censorship' and since then, have become a free speech advocate.

Of course, no letter about leaving Tumblr would be complete without mentioning Lindsay. Oh Lindsay. We were friends for 2 years, and then I said a historical fact (that the Nazis persecuted people beyond Jewish people) and she flipped out. She blocked me, sent me anon hate, and told all the Reylos to block me. And you know what? Alot did. I was put on hit and block lists. 

Now, anyone who has studied World War II history knows that I am right. But because Tumblr is contrived of people who can't put Austria on a map, I was attacked and slandered. Lindsay would try to bully my friends into blocking me. They obviously refused. But Lindsay probably does the same shit to other people. Good thing she's a boring basic bitch with no personality, who has the charisma of a rock, because people with her mindset can really hurt people. She'll probably call me a 'Holocaust revisionist' for making fun of her. 

I honestly don't care what she thinks of me. I don't care what Marie thinks of me. They will probably interpret me leaving Tumblr as a victory of sorts. And yeah, I'm gone from Tumblr. But I'm not gone from this world. I will continue to live, to write, to create, to argue. I know I matter. I know I'm a good person capable of a positive impact. I am not what you think I am, and I never will be.

You will always have the knowledge that I am out there, being me, being different and weird, and changing the world. Whilst you, are stuck on a computer screen, bullying people who think differently than you.

That's a bloody victory for me, and a sore loss for you. Although I am leaving, I will not delete this blog. I want people to comb through it, and study it. And learn. See my flaws, and know that it possible to leave Tumblr, and still have a good fucking life. 

Goodbye Tumblr. Madeleine.

PS: I will say that the Sansa fandom and (some) parts of the Reylo fandom has been kind to me. It's sad to leave, because I will miss them. If you are one of them and you'd like to maintain contact, send me an e-mail at snowyfictions@gmail.com and I'll give you my Facebook, Twitter or personal e-mail.

[dstore-rps]

☆ Rules ☆

Please read and understand thoroughly before interacting with this blog!

1. Admin will always reply and interact in character. If "//" comes before it, then that means Admin is speaking out of character.

- for example Hey, how's it going? is in character

- whereas // hey, how's it going? is out of character

2. Please be decent. Admin reserves the right to not interact with someone if they have been rude, disrespectful, or have willfully broken the rules.

3. AUs will happen! If an AU is currently in session, then please play along and interact in a way that makes sense. For example if a Vampire AU is happening, then any interaction you have will be with Vampire!Member not regular Member, until the AU is finished. Please read information about the current AU in the current AU Hub, which can be found HERE.

4. Triggering Content - Please do not include anything related to the following themes in your interactions or RPs: extreme violence, anything non-consensual, taboo topics, stalking, heavy topics related to mental illness, yandere, gaslighting, abuse, and anything else that is commonly triggering for people.

This blog is not an advice blog, however if you ask for advice either in character or out of character, Admin will do her best to help. That being said, please do not hold Admin responsible for your struggles, or expect her to help you fix them. This blog's purpose is to be an escape from worries for both Admin and everyone who interacts.

// We all have hard times in life. At the end of the day, I am just one person behind this account, who’s fighting my own battles. I am not qualified to help you with yours, so please do not view me as your only outlet or the answer to your problems. If you are suffering in any way, I urge you from the bottom of my heart to enlist the help of reliable people in your real life. There are people around you that want to help. I believe in you. 💕 Consider this blog like hot chocolate on a rainy day. It can't change the weather, but it can take your mind off it for a while.

5. There are two types of RPs you can have with this account. Neither type is preferred over the other, both are excellent. It’s all up to you to decide which one you choose.

Type 1 - casual RP

Casual RPs are a call and response between the staff of the Café and you as a customer. You ask Moonbin how he’s doing today, for example, and he replies. It might end there, or it may go on for a short while longer, like a conversation. You can have as many interactions of this sort as you choose, with whichever members you want, however, there is no ongoing plot to this type of interaction besides flirtation. This means that if you wish to “date” one of the members / be their significant other, then you must instead start an ongoing RP.

Consider each casual RP like a quick visit to the Café, just popping your head in for a chat, a cup of tea, and a laugh before you head back about your day.

This type of RP is ideal for people with less experience writing in-depth replies, or for people who just want to have someone to greet them after a long day of work or school, comfort them after a bad day, or make them blush with compliments.

Type 2 - ongoing RP

If you’d like to write an ongoing story, back and forth, with any particular member(s) - this includes wanting to date the members / wanting to be their significant other in the RP - then you need to fill out the Reservation Form - like making a reservation at the Café - which includes a character profile. For ongoing RPs, you must have a character with which to RP, and at least a rough plot line to follow and build upon. (Even if you wish to RP as a self-insert, it is still required that you fill out the form.)

Consider an ongoing RP like becoming a regular at the Café, building relationships with each of the boys, and having more in-depth interactions.

This type of RP is ideal for people with some experience writing in-depth replies, someone who frequently hits the character limit on asks (lmao 💕), or someone who wants to write a collaborative story and plot with these characters.

You can have both types of RPs going simultaneously, just please use a different sign off for casual RPs than you do for ongoing RPs, to avoid confusion!

Another thing to note about ongoing RPs is that each one exists in a 'separate universe', meaning that just because someone else is dating Sanha, it doesn't mean you can't also date Sanha! Their RP universe exists separately from your own.

This also goes for anything plot related, if someone gives JinJin a bracelet as a gift, and he wears it in their RP, he is not wearing it when you RP with him, since it's an entirely separate universe.

6. There are a few different ways to interact with this blog.

Asks (Casual/Ongoing) - send in an ask, on or off anon, and the members will reply! You can sign off with an emoji if you choose, however for casual RPs, the replies will not follow a particular plot. [ i.e you tell Eunwoo about the bad day you’ve had, and he comforts you. ]

-  For ongoing RPs, asks may still be used, although they are not ideal due to character limits. Please let the admin know which method you prefer.

Replies (Casual) - sometimes the members will make their own posts on here! You can reply beneath their posts using the reply feature on tumblr, and they’ll reblog with a response. [ i.e MJ posts a selca, you reply “you look so handsome!” and he reblogs with a wink emoji or something equally cheesy. ]

Reblogs (Casual/Ongoing) - when a member makes a post, you can reblog it with a comment, and they’ll respond! Works similarly to Replies, however, you can also tag a certain member in a post, if it made you think of them, and they’ll reblog it with their reaction.

- For ongoing RPs, you can also tag members in character (ooh fancy) Have your character tag them in posts that tie into the plot, or use moodboards, songs, couple photos, etc to enhance the plot of your ongoing RP.

DMs (Ongoing) - DMs allow for longer character limits, and you can also send pictures, moodboards, etc. to help enhance the plot. Please use “//” or some sort of sign to show if you’re speaking IC (in character) or OOC (out of character).

Admin has had some bad experiences with DM RPs before, so thank you for understanding if she is slow to reply, or rejects any plot thread she isn’t comfortable with. Admin loves everybody who shows this blog love. 💕

7. Communication is key. If you want a certain event to happen in your RP that requires a member to do or say something specific, please give Admin a heads up! ( i.e // I think it'd be really cute if she slipped and then JinJin caught her and then he said "did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" uwu what do you think? 💓💓 )

Admin can't always predict what you may want to happen by hints. Make sure to talk it out OOC, so that everyone is on the same page!

8. As with all content creators, reblogs are the best way to support the content you enjoy, and it doesn’t cost anything but a moment of your time. If you enjoy a particular interaction, whether it be yours or someone else’s, please reblog it, so that more aroha can discover this blog! Thank you so much for your support 💜

Please include the word Daisies in your first interaction to show that you've read the rules! 💐

Much love,

~ Admin RaRa ☆

[bleutectic]

ya gurl nathalie reached 1.5k so she’s doing blogrates bc everyones trash for that tbh

hi i forgot about wanting to do this and at this point its too late to make a pretty banner for it, so instead i came up with this ~wonderful title~

SO!! i reached 1.5K! thats like so crazy tbh holy shit??? anyways to celebrate i wanted to do some blogrates! woo! info under the cut!

to get them you gotta * reblog this (pls dont let this flop lmao) * follow me  * send me an ask asking for the blograte and something nice (could be anything, a song you listened to and really liked, something nice that happened today, a random fact you find interesting, something dnp related so we can enjoy being trash together, etc)

obviously dont send anon asks bc idk what blog to rate, also im not gonna rate other blogs than the one that sent the ask (unless its like a sideblog idk)

the blogrates will be in this format

Url: | not my style | decent | good | great | amazing | perfect!!!

Icon: | not my style | decent | good | great | amazing | perfect!!!

Theme: | not my style | decent | good | great | amazing | perfect!!!

Posts: | not my style | decent | good | great | amazing | perfect!!!

Overall: | not my style | decent | good | great | amazing | perfect!!!

Following?: | no sorry | now following | yes! | FOREVER & ALWAYS

Additional comment: 

so eh once more thanks?? for 1.5k? crazy to think of that tbh like damn i was gonna tag some people to say cheesy thanks for making my time on tumblr so much better, but im gonna forget people and ill feel bad about it later so im not gonna do that lmao

ty ly bb

[chickenfetus]

ALL MY EGG (and for the four names: jae, killer kang, minhyuk (whichever one), and santa

deadass i did the 100 questions ask meme for this ask and almost posted it rip

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

theres literally nothing i dont even know what to say ???? 

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

not 2 be delusional but i would give up my world to hug changkyun

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

glaceon is UP THERE idk why honestly but the sinnoh games were my first and i just??? i was really into ice and snow and shit u know so glaceon... thakn u

another pkmn ill always have is lucario ????? its just so cool?????

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

hopefully forgiveness and like???? acknowledging mistakes and learning from those u know jst positive stuff and like?? water. god i love water

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

hm okay i think this one was from last night or the night b4??? and like???? idk???? i dont even know how 2 start tbh?

so im like hanging over at this two kid’s im a kid 2 i think place and idk we just talk and shit??? idk whomst the boys were tho

and then we get to a scene where its like??? at a train station???? and i go to the washroom to shit or smth idk thankfully i didnt shit myself irl

then i have to get onto the train which isnt even a train its like a carousel with seats??? and its like on a train track boys this is 2 much and i forgot to get ready my train card thing so the guy (who i was p sure was evil) waited for me to remove it so i got onto the transportation device lmao

and then once im seated i remember i forgot my jacket so i make like hand movements 2 the creep and hes runnig 2 me with my jakcet but the ride’s way too fast so i yell and say ill come back for it even tho im p sure i wasnt going 2

after that i wke up wild

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

i dont have a best friend and all of my friends have their own unique qualities if i went into a rant abt them rn this will b so long

😘 talk about your crush or partner

[minhyuk voice] theres none

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

ya bc im petty but it really depends on the person

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

my personality (the good parts)

my values

my taste in friends (my Big Friends are either geminis or scorpios good)

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

the dark and bitch isnt gonna turn off her night light any time soon

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

seeing my favourite happy, listening to the music i like 

💙 what annoys you about some people?

i jjust went into a full out rant abt this on the other reply so ill be quiet now

😤 do you get angry easily?

yeahhhhh 

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

my faves tbh

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

bad people , gone.

everybody only sends love and happy things on anon

i just want everyone 2 b nice & friendly wars of any sort dont exist and no one wants anybody dead

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

if u sent jae’s name earlier id have trouble so im glad

kiss: tihis is so fucking embarrassing wtf minhyku (mx) but only on the cheek basically everywhere except the lips or anyplace weird

befriend: brian :-0

kill: jae goodbye loser

marry: sanha we can yell every time we gotta turn the lights off

✈️ what is your dream city and why?

tokyo bc its NICE

☕️ talk about your ideal day

cant read

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

i suddenly thought of the word ambivore which made me think of the word vore i wanna delete im a both? mayb idk

💧 when was the last time you cried?

nov 3 bc my heart hurts whenever i see ppl being a bad friend

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

oh worm

all alone - day6

with you - astro

dramarama - mx (even though it isnt out yet lmao)

run - bts (the superior bts song)

hellevator - / (i was rly gonna make this mixed languages but rip)

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

to fly bc im basic

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

dont do that

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

nobody in general????????? 

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

intelligence i have 2 live somehow what if my money gets stolen

🙊 what are you ashamed of?

my humor

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

i (barely) know chinese despite having 2 take it all my life legends only

i know english but im bad at that 2 and its my first language once again legends only

i wanna learn japanese and korean 

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

the cow from voltron 

☁️ talk about your dream universe.

weve already discussed this

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?

oh w-0rm ok so im a regular anon on this persons blog and i wanted to send an ask but never got arnd doing it so im gonna send her one. soon/

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

let me live my life as a furry and cat

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

are u ready 4 me to b the meanest person yet bc i sure am lets fucking go

so theres this girl. and i know her (unfortunately) and ive known her since like 4 years ago and back then she was already pretty shit tbh

she cried bc she had to sit in between the “weird” and “dirty” girls in our class and she headass cried in front of them and everyone just bc she didnt like the arrangement?? shes called the “dirty” girl disgusting before and has made fun of her in front of everybody its just bad :-/

now. fast forward 3 years and in addition to still being disrespectful and rude, she now vocalizes her weird fantasies for her “oppas”??? some examples: 

“when i go watch __ perform im gonna climb onto stage and then my mother and my future husband will fight for me” and she calls those kpop idols weird shit and basically sexualizes them/???? she says the weirdest fucking shit on her ig story and tags them??????? 

another thing. she went to korea nd took a picture of a complete stranger and posted it on her public ig and called him her “oppa” and said that they had a “fun day together” despite the guy not knowing her at all???? she posted the pic of him??? i still dont get it tbh 

she wasnt even being ironic at all??? she calls herself & classmates “autistic” whenever she/others do smth dumb or mess up and its just sososososo fucking wrong

being one of the people to see how shes basically grown from bad to worse is something i dont fucking enjoy and i jsut want to leave my class already lmao 

ok but there are times where i do appreciate her because sometimes the class will be rly quiet and the teacher is basically talking 2 themselves but she’ll always respond w/o fail so thats great but its only bc she talks so damn much 

i just got a flashback to when she “jokingly” said she wanted to be a trainee for the rest of her life how do i just. god

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately

we’ve once again already discussed this

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

i wanted to be various things honestly?? ranging from an astronaut to a vet to an editor to an animator to other stuff i get influenced pretty easily so if i watch smth and i think its cool ill want 2 be that i guess?? ive been trying 2 get rid of that habit so now i have no clue what i wanna be

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

sweets and chocolate cake

🍑 what are you obsessed with?

drinking water and staying hydrated

making my friends laugh is great 2

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?

acne LMAO 

😪 what are you sick of?

the usual

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

i love scouting on sif and bandori so yeah 

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

lets not 

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?

to a certain extent

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

use my phone???? send nice anons and comment on art/fics 

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

none

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

my tolerance for ppl’s shit is so low

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

my ocs

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?

i dont have a dream hence myself

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?

infpt i dont rmb shit but yeah

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

falen i dont rmb what u sent

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?

i dont follow any :-o zendaya has had my heart ever since shake it off tho

🐴 opinion on day6?

ur rly gonna do this 2m e?

all alone just started playng this is terrible lets get it

so day6. a band i only found out about in late june (thank u boxy) and before this i only ever listened to bts and mx bc my friends stan them so i thought i was gonna expect boys dancing, the usual. 

i clicked i smile and i lost my fucking shit as soon as i saw the instruments because prior to day6 i was a big 5sos fan so this was rly resonating to me tbh and i was just !!! so fukcng excited??? i never intended to even get into day6 honestly??? but after witnessing how good they are and watching about all of the available mvs at that point i was completely in awe so i caved a created a stan twitter for them.

now, this isnt even the most of it. after becoming a fan i realized how much more these 5 boys are. they compose (if im not wrong) and brian writes lyrics for the songs each month because of their everyday6 project and again, im wow-ed because??? the amount of dedication???? they went from releasing 2 title tracks in 2 years to releasing 12 title tracks and 12 bside tracks in a single year. they havent released the december song yet but haviing to work on 2 or more songs in 4 weeks is fucking amazing if you ask me. 

theyre really talented and theyre just so versatile (am i using that word correctly) and each month their songs sound different. this project has given them the opportunity to try new things and you can hear the steady improvement in each of their vocals (dowoonie not so much since he barely gets lines, but we all know hes working hard) and if you listen to their debut song - kongchu and compare it to the version they released along with sunrise it just???? the drumming has even changed from the original version nd its so noticeable that whenever i hear kongchu from 2015 i know its the old ver

to add to those, they do vlives every week and although those vlives are always scheduled it still makes my day seeing them and watching them do the usual. 

one thing im upset about is that how they barely promote themselves, they rarely get on variety shows (the most is individual schedules) and we, as mydays never really get to know the boys so its harder to fall for them as a whole. i dont know if its jyp or day6′s decision but if this is how they want to be known for - their music only, then so be it. we still have jae’s presence on youtube, music access and asc. thats the most we can get and it makes it difficult for us to learn about the rest but thats okay.

another thing. their concerts are something i always look forward to (even though my interest has died down a bit;) their concerts are just so fun to listen to?? there’ll always be mydays who stream the concert so everyone else can listen to them play and they sound so good live it drives me crazy. mydays are always so hyped and whenever mydays sing along it just gives me goosebumps??? bc theyre so???? good????? 

tldr; day6 deserve more, following wise and promotions wise because they work so hard and once this project ends i hope they’ll manage to rest but still remain as a presence that will be known instead of returning to jyp’s dungeon.

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

there are days where i am more emotional than usual 

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

this is tiring

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

i sleep and boy it really helps

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?

rest

🌍 which country do you live in?

singapore

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

lame funny swag

🐵 which quotes changed you?

“rocky swag” - park minhyuk, 2017

💭 do you keep a diary?

nope

💫 who inspires you?

brian kang 

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

yes bc i love losing sleep

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

terrible

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

i watched spiderman homecoming and i have no idea why i didnt see the plot twist coming but its GOOD watch it

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

theres none lads

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?

all my internet buddies but sometimes i dont want to bc im kinda....gross

[wendynerdwrites]

Im glad that u also like archer. Ive been rewatching it (im on s2) and i feel guilty as a feminist for liking it so much :( i know a lot of the jokes are supposed to be ironic but i still feel bad for laughing, and my bf has made comments abt "how can u laugh at that as a feminist" (he isnt one, hes using it as a gotcha). How do u feel about this? Any advice for separating myself from toxic fandom to just be able to enjoy something problematic? Love ur blog btw happy friday 💋💋

Thanks, and don’t worry, anon: You’re not a bad feminist. 

It’s funny you ask this, but I used to have an entire essay series on this exact topic, and on Archer, particularly!

My philosophy is: don’t ignore the problematic, examine it. Use it as a springboard for analysis so you can learn more about the issue conveyed. Use your problematic responsibly! Because, let’s be honest, there ARE no unproblematic pieces of media. So just use it to educate yourself instead. For instance: my love of West Side Story (starring Natalie Wood as the Puerto Rican Maria) got me to learn more about the issues of white-washing.

Being a feminist is not about being perfect, it’s about learning and being open to examination and learning. Use your fandom for good!

Laughter is the balm for the soul. And listening to your boyfriend telling you how to be a feminist… less so. Kind of the opposite. 

My old articles are lost, for the most part, but under the cut, I’ve pasted them for reference and included a great video on satire that also very easily applies to this discussion (just substitute feminism with the Holocaust)

Our Faves Are Problematic (And So Can You!)

Nothing and no one is perfect, so isnt it about time we learn how to call out the things we love?

We are all familiar with guilty pleasures: those things we like in spite of ourselves, that we are ashamed to admit we enjoy. Usually the term is applied to something we enjoy despite a perceived “lameness”, or because we’re not the right demographic for something. For instance, I still have a deep, abiding affection for Sailor Moon: that colorful, stock-footage-laced Japanese phenomenon that still gets me shouting “MOON PRISM POWER!” when I’m in the right mood. Yes, childhood is over, and yes, the show’s American dub did give me incest panic as a child, but I can’t help but love it.

But then there is the more difficult brand of guilty pleasures guilty pleasures that involve actual guilt instead of “mild embarrassment”. I’m talking about problematic faves the stuff that we love despite it containing clearly objectionable material.

willing18

(Image copyright Vertigo Comics)

…This is a panel from Bill Willingham’s Fables. The character there is Bigby Wolf, one of the main (anti) heroes of the story and the character the writer identifies with most. The person Bigby is waxing poetically on pro-Zionism to is someone literally called “The Adversary”.

Fables also happens to be one of my favorite comic book series on the planet.

Safe to say the issues surrounding Israel, Palestine, and the Middle East are a bit more complicated than that. And my own feelings on the matter are far more complicated. But this glorification of Israeli military policy is… um… in very tame terms… uncomfortable. After reading this, I resolved to only check Fables out of the library: a way for me to enjoy these comics in a legal way without financially supporting these ideas, however indirectly.

There are other problems with Fables: a lack of ethnic diversity, some murky racial and class commentary, and instances of some objectionable tropes, but there is a lot to recommend of these books as well. The stories are fantastic, the art brilliant, the characters well-fleshed out, and there is a definite progressive take on issues like gender and sexuality. But as much as I love this series, there is no getting around the fact that these stories have issues.

No excuses.

But it’s not just Fables that has disappointed me in the past. I am now and forever a Trekker, yet despite how horribly sexist episodes like “The Turnabout Intruder” are, or the very troubling anti-Semitic coding of the Ferengi. The Star Wars prequels famously had racist caricatures with the Trade Federation and the infamous Jar Jar Binks.

In the world of media, there’s no shortage of problematic content. From the novels of Robert Heinlein containing pro-fascist commentary, to HBO’s Game of Thrones misogynistic adaptation decisions, there’s nothing that is quite free of some messed up messages, subtle and blatant alike.

Now, when we talk about such media, we don’t merely mean triggering factors (i.e. the presentation, portrayal, or discussion of potentially traumatizing issues like domestic abuse, racism, hate crimes, substance abuse, or sexual assault), but rather how these matters are portrayed. A piece of media, such as Marvel and Netflix’s excellent Jessica Jones series, can portray certain issues (such as sexual assault, domestic violence, and mental illness) in a respectful, progressive, and sensitive light. Thus, while the content of the show can be triggering, the skill with which they portray these matters keeps it from being problematic.

In contrast, something like Game of Thrones, which portrays sexual assault in a thoroughly insensitive, exploitative, and misogynistic manner, is highly problematic.

Unfortunately, progress has been a slow-moving process, with many issues such as race, gender, sexual identity, mental illness, substance abuse, and violence only being examined in a more nuanced way fairly recently. As a result, almost all media is problematic in one way or another. Especially since even today, the majority of executives crafting, publishing, and greenlighting books, shows, comics, movies, and other forms of media are in fact cisgendered, heterosexual white men.

So what do we do?

Good news: here at Fandom Following, we don’t believe in dropping something you like just because it’s problematic. Why?

Because knowing, examining, and yes, even appreciating problematic content can be incredibly important. While certain content can be damaging, it can also teach us a great deal. Not only about current issues, but also about how to go about discussing these matters, and constructing narratives in general.

The racial issues in things like Star Wars and Star Trek can teach us much about how coding works, and how to avoid reinforcing stereotypes. The exploitation of women and rape on Game of Thrones can open up a dialogue of how to portray these things properly and improperly.

There are three tricks to enjoying problematic media: 1) Recognizing that there is an issue, 2) Being ready for a dialogue, and 3) Not ignoring or silencing the complaints about said issues.

Well, we here at Fandom Following have decided to tackle this issue head on with a series called “Our Faves Are Problematic (And So Can You!)”, where we will be exploring specific media franchises, creators, and works and, specifically, the problematic content they contain. In this series, we’ll be examining the issues, talking about why they’re important, discussing what this piece of media did wrong, how to approach the issue in a more progressive way, and the best ways to go about discussing the issue itself. Various writers will be contributing to this project, and we’re excited to present this feature to you!

So let’s get down and dirty, people. We all have our problematic faves. Let’s talk about them.

My Face is Problematic: Archer

Honestly, doing a post like this on Archer, a show which is deliberate in its dark humor, is a bit hard for me. Not because I like the show, but because I think there’s true validity in the argument that humor and narratives about really messed up, problematic stuff has its place. The show exists to be as outlandish and absurd as possible. The extremes and the awfulness of the characters’ personalities and their actions is the point.

I VUZ BORN IN DUSSELDORF AND THAT IS VY THEY CALL ME ROLF!

Joking about awful things, awful circumstances, and awful people is hardly new ground for comedy to cover, nor does it send a poor message, necessarily. Mel Brooks wrote a movie in which one of the characters was a Nazi, who wrote an overblown pro-Nazi musical produced by men deliberately trying to make a flop. Springtime For Hitler, as it exists in our universe, is not problematic. The Nazis are the butt of the joke, in which any pro-Nazi sentiment can only function if it is wildly fabricated and over-the-top, and even then, it will still be taken for satire. Because Nazis are utterly terrible, they built their movement on total bullshit that they dressed up in shiny boots and Hugo Boss uniforms and German exceptionalism and “glory”. This song-and-dance number about “Don’t be stupid, be a smartie, come and join the Nazi party” only ever deserves to be a joke, as the Jew who wrote it can tell you. Nazis fucking suck and it’s hilarious that anyone would ever suggest otherwise.

There’s justice in reducing Nazis to self-parody, and doubling down on that by making a joke about them being reduced to self-parody. Especially when said self-parody and depiction of it is crafted by the very people Hitler tried to destroy. No one enjoys or masters mocking Nazis like the Jews. Plain and simple.

Joking about awful things and how terrible they are can be a good way to process things and not allow them to hurt you anymore. Comedy, at its core, is a defense mechanism against horror and pain. There’s a reason slapstick is a classic subgenre of comedy that people have built entire careers around. Laugh at terror and pain to make it go away. Unfortunately, some of the things we manage to find humor in can really make you wonder if were all just terrible and have no limits.

Angela’s Ashes is a memoir by Frank McCourt about his impoverished, abusive, dangerous childhood in Ireland. In it, he chronicles his own starvation, life-threatening illness, abuse, and suffering at the hands of alcoholism and brutality from adult authority figures. He was a child laborer who went days without food while his father drank away the family’s money and abused the rest of the family, who often came down with horrifying illnesses as a result of the terrible conditions he lived in, and spent his formative years suffering along with all the people he loved. Three of his infant siblings die within the space of a chapter. We get a glimpse of the time when his father, overjoyed at the birth of his daughter, finds the will to stop drinking, stop mistreating his family, go to work, provide for his family, and just generally be a better person so that his children don’t have to suffer. For a short period, the McCourts have food, heat, and happiness. Then the baby promptly dies and Frank’s father is back in the pubs, once again squandering any pay he manages to acquire on alcohol and returning home at three am to scream at and beat his wife while his remaining children try to cover their ears and sleep on the cold ground.

Along with being praised for it being a both an unflinchingly brutal depiction of poverty and a testament to the triumph of the human spirit, the book is also praised for its humor.

Remember: Angela’s Ashes is a true story written by the very man who suffered through all of these horrible things. And it’s considered a pretty funny book. And the author who, once again, is the person who actually suffered all of these horrible things, actually did intentionally try to make people laugh as they read about that time he was in the hospital with Typhoid Fever and enjoyed it because it was the first time he’d been in a place where he was fed regularly and got to sleep in a warm bed.

Hilarious.

That being said, there’s satire and dark humor, and there’s just gratuitous, shock-jock bullshit. There are jokes that are terrible simply because of what they’re about and how they’re handled. George Carlin said that anything can be made funny, even rape, if you imagine Elmer Fudd raping Porky Pig.

If we can build entire films and musicals about how any pro-Hitler sentiment can only ever be taken as satire, isn’t that proof that you can joke about anything?

Yes, you can, but that doesn’t mean you should try, that the joke is funny, or that it’s alright, necessarily. Maybe Elmer Fudd, Porky Pig, and Springtime for Hitler prove that anything can be made funny and that’s okay. But if that’s true (and no, I’m not saying that it is), that still doesn’t mean every attempt at making something funny is either acceptable or funny.

Springtime for Hitler is not a get-out-of-jail-free card for any attempt to make a terrible subject the object of humor. Standards need to exist.

Unfortunately, the line between good or acceptable dark humor and simply gratuitous, insensitive, inherently problematic jokes can blur. The excuse of humor can only go so far. Yes, make light of Nazis. But there’s still a point where “humor” is used an excuse for people to act like assholes. And it’s an excuse that is used all too often. Radio Shock Jocks have been using that excuse to help reinforce racism and rape culture for quite a while. Whether certain dudebros like it or not, there’s a point where it stops being gross-out and just starts being gross.

Which brings me to Archer, the animated spy comedy on FX that premiered in 2011. Like many comedy series like Seinfeld or It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, a major part of the premise is that certain characters are, quite simply, terrible people. These characters and their abhorrent behavior is the joke. And, as the show is about spies, these terrible people are often put into highly dangerous, outlandish, and traumatizing situations.

So, the main characters, by virtue of their profession, spend a lot of time killing people in cold blood. Or trying to seduce or manipulate enemies. Or engaging in clandestine operations of sabotage that harm a lot of people. Horrible, violent things are going to happen, things violent enough to serve as narratives on their own. But most of the characters are as awful as the situations they encounter, so the horror is amplified. And it’s a comedy.

Indeed, in the first episode of the fifth season, we get the whole main ensemble recounting all of their actions and experiences working for the spy agency ISIS that we’d witnessed over the course of the show’s run at that point. Drag racing with the Yakuza, knee-capping the Irish mob, encountering human traffickers, 30 year affairs with the head of the KGB that only ended when the guy was blown up because one of the ISIS members had choke sex with the victim’s cyborg replacement, actual piracy, paying homeless people to fight for spectators, defling a corpse, defiling a different corpse, sexual assault, kidnapping the pope, blowing up oil pipelines, “smuggling Mexicans”

Yeah.

There are comedic arcs about cancer, illegal immigration, kinky S&M bondage murders, cocaine addiction… a lot of stuff, basically.

Now, take those situations, and add in characters who get aroused by things like homeless people, being choked, sex with food, and the thought of their mother dying. Who spend their weekends starting fires, making hybrid pig-people, rubbing sand into the eyes of their employees, competing in underground Chinese Fighting Fish tournaments, and calling in bomb threats so that they can get a table at a fancy restaurant. You get the idea.

And it’s all totally awesome and hilarious and god damn it I kind of love these characters.

This show has a season-long sub-arc about one of the main characters getting so aggressively addicted to cocaine that she not only consumes (literally) half a ton of it in the space of a few months, but almost gets her head chopped off for buying amphetamines from the Yakuza with counterfeit money. It’s one of the most incredible things the show has done.

Pictured: An absurdly self-centered man feeling genuine dismay and concern over his friend risking her life to achieve an unrealistic standard of beauty.

The title character has a butler named Woodhouse who practically raised him. One of the first interactions we witness between them is Archer not only threatening to rub sand into Woodhouse’s “dead little eyes”, but making him go out and buy the sand himself and check if they grade it, because he wants the sand to be coarse. He’s also done things like make the man eat a bowl of spiderwebs and deliberately keep him in the dark about his brother’s death and funeral.

Another character is a mad scientist and possible clone of Adolf Hitler who kills a young intern by giving him a drug designed to turn him gay. That’s one of the less disturbing things Dr. Krieger has done.

Frequent gags on this show include one guy repeatedly getting shot, another character repeatedly getting paralyzed (it’s complicated), people trying to remember the inappropriate puns that they wanted say as one-liners, the horrific abuse and neglect Sterling Archer has received from his mother his entire life, and basically everyone being a sex-maniac.

There are plots revolving around mind-control, drugging people, and hypnotism. You can imagine the paths some of those episodes go down. Yes, there is a character that has tried to sexually assault one of her sleeping co-workers. And later deposited two unconscious, naked coworkers in a bathroom stall with an octopus, in an episode that has already made tentacle hentai jokes. Yes, the openly gay character on the show is often the target of jokes about him being gay or a woman from his coworkers. Yes, the female lead, a black woman, is referred to as a “quadroon” at one point by one of the characters.

Yes, the following exchange of dialogue does take place in an early episode:

“Oh my god, you killed a hooker!”

“Call-girl!”

“No, Cyril, when they’re dead, they’re just hookers!”

And yet… Oh my god. How it manages to play around with stuff in an amazing fashion. For one thing, it is amazing how often this show skewers micro-aggressions and fucks around with stereotypes. And, despite how unabashedly messed up it is, the writing in it actually manages to be oddly pro-social progress in ways that most modern media doesn’t even seem to be aware of.

I take pride in my sex work and I will not put up with your bullshit!

For instance the “hooker” referred to in that exchange? (spoiler alert: she wasn’t really dead) She’s Trinette, and she an unbelievably refreshing and strangely progressive depiction of a sex worker. While she’s a minor character, every time she shows up, it’s awesome. Trinette is a sex worker who is unashamed of her job, a woman who truly does take pride in and enjoy her work, who does not put up with poor behavior from her clients, and is just generally awesome. She call people out and makes them pay for any mistreatment she receives, from calling out micro-aggressions by insisting on her preferred terminology for her profession (“Call-girl, you puke!”), shaming men for their sexual misdeeds (“How can you cheat on Lana bare-back?!”), demanding restitution for any injuries or threats she’s suffered (Threatening Archer into giving her his car after he fakes her death and stuffs her in a rug to fool Cyril into thinking he killed her), and determining her work and clients (“What about Trinette? She said that? Damn it!”). When she has a baby, she gives it her last name along with his father’s (“Magoon-Archer”) and she unapologetically proud of her Irish heritage. She’s easily one of the most functional characters in the show, and every one of her appearances on the show manage to defy at least one whore-phobic trope a minute. She’s the best.

Then there’s the show’s handling of race, which is mixed. While arguably the most important female character in the series (the show, despite its name, is very, very much an ensemble, especially as the series progresses. But in the early episodes when they focussed on fewer characters, she was the one who got the most screentime) is Lana Kane, a highly-competent (for ISIS) African American woman who is really, really well-developed, there is also the fact that she’s the only POC in the main cast. Granted, part of that IS the point. One of the earliest episodes is “Diversity Hire”, where, aside from Lana, the spy agency is so overwhelmingly white that they hire a “diversity double-whammy!” Conway Stern, a black Jew.

“Sammy Gay-vis Junior!”

Now, granted, that doesn’t sound great the way I describe it, but there are so many great moments in this episode alone. For instance, when Mallory Archer, terrible woman and owner of the spy agency mentions their lack of diversity, Cyril, the tragically white accountant and “nice guy” puts his hands on Lana’s shoulder and says he thinks they’re pretty diverse, a statement Lana finds hilarious. Cue Sterling Archer, other horrible person, telling Lana she’s “black-ish”, then responding to her offense at this with “Well, you freaked out when I said quadroon!”. The framing of this entire discourse is that Cyril and Archer are fucking idiots and Lana is of course taking offense because, duh, she should. The episode proceeds with a lot of references and discussion about racism, highlighting casual racism in a nuanced, funny, and organic way. For instance, Archer’s relief that Conway didn’t sleep with his mother. While Archer freaks out about anyone sleeping with his mother, regardless of race, Conway believes it’s racism on Archer’s fault. And in no way does the narrative act like he’s overly-sensitive or irrational for thinking that. Because the stereotype about black men seducing white women and fear from white men about this is still a very real, pervasive thing that has somehow managed to survive in our “enlightened” times. Of course Conway encountering a guy who displays a downright violent fixation on whether or not his new black coworker is sleeping with his mother will assume it’s a race thing. Because why would anyone be so preoccupied with such an idea? In that situation, it’s almost certainly based on the long-standing paranoia white men have about black men’s sexuality “conquering their women.” It’s one of the most common varieties of anti-blackness in existence.

Of course, since it’s Archer, who has kidnapped a LOT of people under the suspicion that they were having sex with his mom, we know this is the one case that it isn’t racism. It’s Archer’s disturbing, Oedipal relationship with his mother. He even kidnapped and threatened his role model, Burt Reynolds, for dating his mother. When he says “Not in a racist way” to Conway in this episode, it’s actually true. He’s just honestly that screwed up where his mother is concerned.

Conway’s conclusions on this, regardless, are still framed as a totally understandable. To the point where the episodes suggests that it would make no sense for Conway to think otherwise. Part of the joke is that no, Archer isn’t a horrible racist at all. He’s way too screwed up for his actions to be motivated by racism.

And before anyone asks, no, this wasn’t the “episode that acknowledges that racism is a thing.” You know the ones… The episodes that talk about race and why racism is bad to prove to the audience that they’re not racist, then proceed with the rest of the show, which never acknowledges race and racism again. There are frequent instances of highlighting racism, from violent outright bigotry to common micro-aggressions to clueless white people demanding how the thing they just did/said could POSSIBLY be considered racist! They’re not racist! How is THAT racist?! Cue Lana face-palming.

I just really, really like this. It doesn’t just end there, either. Racism is called out pretty frequently on this show, and not in a cliche, strawman way. Nor is it treated like something that only exists in the form of aggressively bigoted bad people shouting slurs and holding cross burnings. Nope. The “heroes” of this show just say shit that you could easily imagine someone saying in real life, shortly before getting defensive about any racism on their part. It’s treated as a common, pervasive thing that Lana and other PoC have to deal with every day, and the offense they take at it is treated as nothing short of sympathetic or justified (even in the cases of misunderstandings, like with Conway). This includes Mallory telling Lana to “put [the race card] back in the deck!” as reminder of how much of an unapologetic douche Mallory is.

It’s made clear: people say and do some super racist shit on a regular basis with realizing it or meaning to, and regardless, it’s still uncool and people have every right to get upset and call you out on it. See: Ray’s bionic hand at the end of season six.

Lana’s reactions and how they’re framed is usually pretty awesome. Mostly they come in the form of small, reasonable confrontations, which are never framed as an overreaction on her part. The fact that she “freaked out” when Archer called her a quadroon is framed as “well, duh, of course, she should.” Then there are instances like when she, Archer, and their child visit a high-end nursery school where they encounter a pretty obvious racist. The guy ignores and dismisses Lana at first, then expresses surprise at the fact that she’s the mother of the child (despite the baby being black), remarking about the “times we live in” and telling Lana “good for you!” when she informs him that yes, she is the mother, not the nanny or the maid.

Not all of the racism stuff stems from Lana being back, either. They skewer bigotry against Latinos on a pretty regular basis. When an Irish mobster rants about Latinos (he doesn’t refer to them by that name) “taking American jobs!”, Archer immediately calls bullshit, recalling actual history of the Irish being accused of that exact same thing during the mass immigration of the Irish to America during the potato famine, and it’s just as shitty and bigoted to say such things about immigrants now as it was in 1842. He is extremely irate about a mission ISIS is assigned to do on behalf of border patrol to  arrest people who just want to get a job, and he ends up siding with and befriending the Mexican illegal immigrants he encounters. All of this while aspects of certain Latinx cultures are often highlighted, often very favorably (“Ramone is Latino, so he’s not afraid to express affection.”)

That being said, there are still a lot of issues in the show. The lack of diversity is definitely an albatross around this show’s neck. Especially so many seasons after the “Diversity Hire” episode. While I do praise Archer for not treating racism as a thing that is rare and only needs to be addressed in one twenty-minute block of time, it is telling that the lack of diversity at ISIS is never addressed again.

Then there’s the approach to sexuality. The show loves gross-out sex humor, especially regarding Krieger. And the depiction of sexuality is actually pretty mixed. On one hand, the openly gay character in the show adheres to a lot of stereotypes about gay men: he mocks Lana about her “knock-off Fiacci drawers”, his go-to alias is “Carl Channing”, his free time is spent at raves, and he loves to make effeminate poses. He’s also a frequent target of homophobic jokes and remarks. His outrage at this is treated as being every bit as valid as Lana’s, but it doesn’t change the fact that their main gay character is basically ALL of the stereotypes, as are a number of the other gay characters.

“Alright! Were off to get our scrotums waxed!”

Then there is the sexual assault. Which, once again, is called out for being what it is, in defiance of many common biases (such as the idea that female-on-male sexual assault isn’t a thing). But this show is way too flippant about this.

While I consider Archer to be very sex-positive, allowing every character, regardless of sex, age, or orientation, to be comfortable and expressive about their sexuality without judgment (a lot of jokes, yes, but not any that come off as particularly shaming). Almost every character, male or female spends a fair amount of time naked or scantily clad. We see Archer stripped down just as often as Lana. And the fan service isn’t relegated to just women who adhere to the typical youth and weight obsessed eurocentric standards we all know and hate.

Pam, who is a big woman (and often the target of fat jokes, which the show always treats as nothing short of detestable) is a total sex goddess who grows to be utterly confident in herself as a woman to the point where she’s giving Mallory (one of the most desired women on the show) advice. When she reveals that she keep ingesting cocaine because it’s made her thin with big boobs, Archer is utterly dismayed, telling her she was way better off the way she was, acting horrified that she’d risk her life to be “hot”, and just generally freaking out about Pam’s desire to be thin. It manages to avoid being cliche or empty given that Archer considered Pam the best sex he ever had before she got thin, to the point of blowing off assignments just to have sex with her, because she’s just that awesome. After she gains the weight back in season six, she’s still sexy, making Archer’s jaw drop in the episode “Edie’s Wedding.” She’s also unapologetically pansexual, which is awesome.

Mallory, meanwhile, is still actively sexual and treated as desirable. While sex and sexuality are always sources of gags and jokes on Archer, never do the jokes about Mallory’s sexuality ever come across as ageist. Sure, some characters make ageist comments on the show, but it’s never treated as valid. Mallory is still treated as being extremely sexy and confident about it. While Mallory is generally a horrible person, her enthusiastic sexual agency is never once treated as a flaw or something disturbing or gross. What’s disturbing, gross, and worthy of ridicule is her son being so preoccupied  and reactionary about his mother having a sex life. It’s clear: if you have a problem with Mallory having a lot of sex and enjoying it, you’re the one with issues.

Even the one young, thin, white woman in the main cast gets to be unapologetic about her kinks. It’s really only a problem when her desire for choke-sex motivates her to lead a KGB cyborg to the ISIS safehouse. Or when she coerces Cyril into sex. And generally acts like a violent, awful person.

Essentially, there’s no tolerance for shaming women for being sexual. All of it, regardless of preference, age, size, or race, is nothing but fun and should be enthusiastically represented. “Can’t talk, got a pussy to break!”

Being a predator is shameful. Having belly rolls is not.

Who on Earth finds this funny?

But, then there’s the flippancy about sexual assault. There ARE gags about Pam and Ray dropping their pants when encountering an unconscious Cyril. And sorry, but the framing of it is all manner of screwed up. There’s tons of sexual coersion as well. Another one of the most problematic instances comes in an episode of season two, where Archer is repeatedly sexually assaulted by a sixteen-year-old German socialite. The show goes out of its way to make it clear that Archer explicitly refuses consent, that he’s being violated, yet the show treats this as funny.

While I get that this is a comedy show and that in-depth exploration of the trauma of sexual abuse isn’t going to be something they can spend a lot of time on, the option they should have gone with is, you know, not base an episode around a german schoolgirl raping the main character. It’s not funny, guys. It’s not necessary. It’s actually just uncomfortable and off-putting.

The show mentions things like alternative gender identities, emotional triggers, and sexual exploration in ways that treat these things as totally valid, which is good. It also frequently portrays poor people as jokes in and of themselves, which is a lot less good. While materialism is lampooned frequently, it’s not treated as a joke in and of itself the way poverty is.

The way the show often portray legitimate abuse for laughs also often goes overboard. While the show does a good job of exploring and following through on all the ways Mallory’s abuse screwed up Archer, there’s a point where the volume of “abuse humor” gets to just be downright gross. Dark humor is one thing, not being able to go an episode without a “Haha, ten-year-old archer was abandoned in a train station at Christmas!” joke is, uh… Not great.

Archer is an awesome, immensely watchable show. But it’s not one I always feel clean watching. It’s a show that celebrates extremes, yes, but there’s a point where certain lines are crossed and it’s just problematic rather than gallows humor.

Archer is one of those series that really makes me struggle to distinguish the gallows humor from the simple tastelessness. To give pause to the idea of problematic content being the “point.”

The line blurs with Archer. A lot. It often manages to distinguish itself with the things it gets right, especially since they often do well on things that most shows, movies, and books are often terrible at. And that’s enough to buy it some goodwill for when they screw up.

But seriously, guys, please stop treating sexual coercion and child abuse as bottomless gag wells. I would have really preferred to have Pam and her awesome sexuality without her sexually assaulting Cyril and Ray. It’s not funny or clever or edgy. It’s just gross.

[ene-sae]

Rehearse

An Anon sent me this request quite a while ago. I’m very sorry that it took so long to complete but I really had to get a good idea of what I would be writing in it :). I hope the lovely anon who sent me this enjoys the fic. Zen x MC

L.

Rehearsals were grueling. Hours of repeating the same line over and over in a room alone, until the director thought you got it just right. It took so much work but how could you not love it. The sensation of trying on your costume for the first time which had been made just for you. The support and bond between cast members and having the opportunity to sing to your hearts content be your job. The only thing that made it better was Zen.

You didn’t know him when you started the production. You didn’t really know anyone. It was your first professional musical and somehow you had sung and acted well enough to earn the role of Christine in their production of Phantom of the Opera.

There was always a tense edge to rehearsals. You could hear the whispers behind your back, the sharp words not meant for your ears but it didn’t hurt any less. They didn’t want you there.

People were jealous of your achievement. Saying you bribed the director… and worse. More than anything they were jealous that you were partnered with Zen. Zen the beautiful. Zen the angel. Zen the beast. To you he was just Zen, playing the role of Raoul. That didn’t make your heart flutter any less.

He was always so kind to you, sharing a few encouraging words during those few hours together in the rehearsal space even though you knew he was the same with everyone else. On stage when you performed together you felt alive, the love you shared felt real. He looked at you like he was meant to love you for the rest of your life. When you, no, Christine was taken by the Phantom, his pain was real and raw. It was mesmerising.

You had never spoken outside of the rehearsal times, nor on anything other than the performance itself. Sharing comments and thoughts about musical phrasing and line pronunciation. Every time those moments happened you knew that he would go and do the same for another girl. Making them feel just as special, but… he was just trying to be kind to appease everyone. To maintain his honourable and kind image but never going far enough to lead anyone to the realisation and despair that he could never be theirs.

They had held off until the dress rehearsal for the kissing scenes. The director said that the costumes and set complete would make the situation feel more real… pull out more emotions. It just made you more nervous. The high notes were nothing compared to the thought that you would have to kiss the man you think you loved without him even knowing, whilst playing a character.

You grew more and more nervous as the show progressed. You stood alone on stage. You knew he was cued to come from behind you. To wrap his arms around you, to sing softly in your ear. The music started and your heart came close to stopping. Your hands were shaking, and you were close to tears. You could see the director gleaming as he watched on believing you really felt the emotions of Christine in that moment. But there was so much more going on.

He started to sing, his arms wrapping around you tenderly. He took your hands as you gazed at him, as if in a trance. You could see nothing but him. “No more talk of darkness, forget these wide eyed fears…” His hand ran up to trace the line of your jaw before caressing your cheek. You couldn’t help but lean into it. His voice was enchanting and gentle. As you sung your lines to the audience, you could feel his eyes upon you, begging you to turn back to him.

The song grew closer and closer to the end. Your eyes travel slowly from his eyes to focus upon his lips. Your anxious emotions from earlier were completely destroyed by the intense desire to kiss him. To feel his lips against yours.

His hand came up to your cheek again, caressing it in a gentle hold before you were drawn back into his captivating eyes. He leant in slowly as the music softened. He was so close his eyes close, beckoning yours to follow as you fell into the kiss.

His lips were soft and gently with the subtle taste of smoke lingering on them. He drew his hand around to your nape of your neck as you threaded your fingers through his silver hair tugging on them slightly to let him know you wanted this. You wanted him. Not Raoul but Zen. You weakened at his touch as he gently pulled your head upwards towards him, deepening the kiss as his arm snaked around your waist pulling your body closer to his. It was all too real as your lips yearned for more but you both were pulling away quickly with a loss of breath and the stage cues signalled through the theatre as the stage went dark. The moment ending.

-

You went down into the underpass beneath the stage in order to reach the other side for your next scene but you were stopped. “What was that?!” He pinned your body against the wall with no escape. No space to divert his intense gaze. He was angry. Oh god! He was angry. You felt tears threatening to form.

“Oh god… what am I supposed to do when you do that! On stage! When you make me feel like that…” There was still anger laced in his voice but it had softened as if he was confused and unsure.

“I have to go… I am in the next scene.” You say, your voice slightly shaky after being caught out. He was mad. He was going to reject you. You duck out of his arms trying to make a quick exit.

“No. You’re not leaving yet.” He says grabbing your wrist, pulling you back to him.

“I need to know MC. Was that real. I felt… I don’t know what I felt but that was more than acting. Was it real? Did you mean it… or were you just acting…?” His voice was strained, concerned and confused. There was something behind his eyes which was there before but burning through brighter than before.

You couldn’t reply. You swallowed longingly begging that he was asking what you were thinking.

“Argh I said I wouldn’t but may I? Can I? Would you stop me if I was wrong? Please… Tell me that you want it as well.” He says closing the gap between you, his eyes now only centimetres from yours. His gaze darted from your lips to you as if asking permission, the light in his eyes growing brighter as he watched you. “Please. I want to kiss you again.”

You leant your head up just enough that your lips brushed against his. “Zen…” You whispered longingly. That was all he needed. His lips brushed against yours until he felt your lips part. His hand was almost immediate to wrap around to the back of your head and lower waist pulling you closer to him, deepening the kiss. You couldn’t help but let out a small moan as his tongue darted into your mouth swirling it around your tongue playfully. When he heard your moan his teeth grazed against your lips where he nibbled gently on your lower lip. “Zen” You managed to say again full of desire.

“Oh god MC. What are you doing to me?” His face has a slight red tinge across it as you look up at him. “I didn’t want to say anything until the shows were over. I wanted to treat you gently, to take things slow but then you did that on stage! How am I supposed to control myself!” He says in a panicked voice. “Please just say it so I can know that it’s not me forcing my desires upon you. Please.”

“I..” above you, you can hear the song coming to an end. “Zen I really have to go.” You say but the sad look on his face could leave him distraught for the rest of the night in worry about his actions.

You take a few steps towards him taking his face in your palms. “Zen… Lovely Zen, I love you.”

“…Lovely Zen… Love you…” his face turns a bright shade of red, his eyes widening. “Say it again. Please”

“Lovely Zen, I love you.” You could see on his face his intense desire to kiss you again but you had to go. You were too slow to leave as he swept you into his arms, pulling you tightly against him, his head resting against your neck.

“MC. I love you too. I couldn’t help but fall in love with you the way you took everything in your stride. After what all those people said behind your back you never stopped showing them kindness, never speaking a word of complaint or ill will against them. When you practiced your lines with me I felt how genuine you were, how much you loved performing. It showed in your smile. And you were so kind to me, not because of my stunning looks but because you saw my passion. I couldn’t love you more.” His eyes were shining, you had to hold back tears as you placed a kiss against his cheek.

“I will be back to you once this scene is over. I love you Zen.” You said before turning and walking up the steps towards the stage door. From behind you, you heard him whisper to you sending burning heat to your cheeks.

“Babe, if it were me I would never let the phantom go near you. You are mine now and I am yours.”

[to-dance-beneath-the-diamond-sky]

You might not be answering since this is from a bit of an old post. Swooping Evil, Glumbumble, pixie, mooncalf and ghoul.

Okay, so first off, THANK YOU lovely anon for sending me this!!!! I love getting asks! And also THANK YOU for actually scrolling back through my blog to even see this! Cause like this is from a while ago! So this is from this Harry Potter Magical Creature Themed Ask. Alright, so here we go!

Swooping Evil: In what way are you often misunderstood?

Hmmm, I feel like I like to think that I’m just an incredibly misunderstood person *sigh* but honestly, I don’t know if that’s just me being overdramatic or if that’s actually true lol.  

I’m often misunderstood by people who don’t realize that I’m being sarcastic, which is actually quite unfortunate because it causes a lot of problems.  

Like, apparently I look like someone who’s very sincere/innocent (or so I’ve been told) and I come across as kind of shy and sweet (lmao I know) especially to people that I’m not close with.  And, I have a very wry sense of humor, like my sarcasm is pretty subtle/dry and I say it pretty straight-faced, and I feel like my sense of humor is a bit more sophisticated/subtle (that’s what one of my therapists told me anyway) and so people don’t always get whatever joke I’m making, and then on top of that, they think I’m this sweet little goody-two-shoes innocent thing who is Sincere™ and all that, so they get all taken aback when I’m sarcastic.  They either think they’ve severely offended me or they think I’m being a bitch or they just feel incredibly uncomfortable because they think I’m being honest.

And then of course, I always make everything considerably more awkward and ten times worse by trying to explain my joke and proceeding to talk myself into a giant hole (thanks anxiety).

So, an example of this is how when I was 14 I had surgery on my neck/throat and for several years I had a pretty noticeable scar across my throat.  And I used to be super self conscious about it, so I’d try to joke about it anytime someone commented on it.  So whenever someone asked me what the scar on my neck was, I’d look them straight in the eye and be totally nonchalant/casual and say something like “oh I got into a knife fight but it’s fine you should see the other person” or “I was kidnapped and held hostage at gun–well technically knife–point, but like it’s fine ‘cause the police killed the guy in a shootout so it’s all good.”  

And let me put this in perspective, I was literally the most innocent 14 year old ever.  Like, I went to an all girls school, I wore bows in my hair pretty much every day, I never wore makeup, my entire wardrobe was pink, I was a total goody two shoes, I never understood any innuendo or dirty jokes, I didn’t even know let alone talk to any boys, and I didn’t swear.  Like, I was so innocent (see the photo below of 14 year old me for reference)

So it was so completely outlandish/absurd because there was no way it was true.  So I’d say that as a joke because lmao have you seen me?  But like, so many people legitimately believed me and got all freaked out.  And eventually I told them I was being sarcastic, but it was always fun to see how fucking gullible some idiots were lol.

So yeah, my humor is often misunderstood.  And that example’s pretty innocuous but other times my sarcasm has actually caused legit problems, like with people getting mad at me (one of my teammates and former roommates got offended by something I said (though she never told me what it was specifically I did to offend her so much, but I’m assuming it was something I said sarcastically that she didn’t understand and just assumed was me being rude because in all honesty I’m pretty nice to people and I go above and beyond out of my way to make sure that I don’t ever say anything offensive or that could hurt people’s feelings (since I’m an oversensitive bitch who obsessively overthinks/freaks out/worries/gets hurt by about absolutely everything, I figure that other people might be that way too so I should do my best not to hurt them (and then of course my anxiety + overthinking leads to me being overly cautious not to hurt people’s feelings or say insensitive things))) and refused to talk to me or even acknowledge my existence for almost five months, which was actually a really big fucking pain in the ass because we saw each other literally every day and there are only 15 people on the team but whatever).  Wow that was long, lol sorry

Glumbumble: What’s something that makes you really melancholy?

A lot of things lol.  I mean, I have a shit ton of mental illnesses/disorders, BPD and depression included, so I spend a lot of time being pretty melancholy lol.  Like stupid little things trigger me.  Though I guess being melancholy is different than being/feeling depressed, but honestly, I can’t really tell the difference.  Because I don’t really just get a little bit sad/melancholy.  I get severely depressed.  I don’t experience any small emotions, everything for me is turned way up to the extreme (thank you BPD you fucking bitch).  I don’t feel things a little bit, or halfway.  Everything is intense.  So like, if being melancholy is different than being depressed, assuming it’s less intense, then I don’t really know what it’s like because I don’t really experience it.  When I’m sad, I don’t just feel melancholy/blue, I feel catatonically depressed and suicidal.  So yeah.  Sorry that doesn’t really answer that and that was probably waaaaay TMI.

Pixie: Do you like play tricks on people?

Not really.  I mean, with my roommate/(former)best friend I always loved to sneak up on her and jump out at her.  But honestly, I only did that because she legit screamed and fell out of her chair every single fucking time.  And it was hilarious.  But other than that, nah I’m not really a trick playing kind of person.  Like, I’ll be sarcastic and play tricks on one or two of my friends by pretending that we had an assignment/test that day.  But really, I only did that with one or two specific people and it was a joke that we always had because they never paid attention in class and always asked me what the homework was and saved everything until last minute and was just all around super lazy. 

Mooncalf: How adorable are you?

Well.  Here’s the thing.  When I was a child I was absolutely adorable.  Like 100% adorable, most likely the cutest child in the room. And like, not just cute looking, but apparently I was super friendly/bubbly/happy/cuddly/sweet/etc. (I say apparently because I can’t fucking remember being that way, hell I can’t even remember the majority of my childhood but that’s a whole other story, but that’s what I’ve been told by all the adults who knew me as a kid).  And also, I said/did super cute things and I loved the color pink more than life and always wore bows in my hair.  Like I’m not joking I was the fucking most adorable thing ever.  (lol I don’t know what happened)

Allow me to prove this point.  

Now please forgive me for posting so many pictures, but I like to reminisce about the fact that once upon a time I was actually cute. Like, I honestly don’t know what happened.

As for now, my current level of adorableness is in the eye of the beholder.  So basically, to some, perhaps I am adorable but it truly is a question of taste lol.  

Aesthetically/physically, I don’t think I am even remotely adorable. Personally, I actually think I’m pretty ugly to be honest (years of self hatred and mental illness tend to do that to you).  But I guess to other people I’m probably not absolutely hideous or anything.  As for general adorableness, it depends who you ask.  So like, to some people perhaps my quirks/oddities are adorable but to other people I’m just crazy as fuck.  I personally of the opinion that I am a complete and total loser lol.

I still love pink.  And I still like wearing bows/flowers in my hair.  I also have this pink piggy hat that I got in middle school that I wear during the winter (my friends all make fun of me so much, but honestly I think the hat is fucking adorable and it’s warm and I don’t care if I look stupid) So on that front, maybe I’m adorable to some people.  But it could just as easily be seen as childish and stupid.  

Now I have some…erm...quirks that could maybe possibly be seen as adorable in some instances.  Like I have this ridiculous thing where I snort when I laugh.  I personally find it unbelievably unfortunate and unattractive but several of my friends have told me it’s endearing and that the boy that falls in love with me (lol let’s be real, that’s never going to happen) will think it’s absolutely adorable.  I also make the most ridiculous little cat squeaking/squealing noises when I get hurt or am surprised or when I fall down (same with the unfortunate laugh; I personally think it’s embarrassing and unattractive like no other, but I have friends who disagree).  Which is another thing, I’m clumsy AF.  I trip and stumble and fall a lot.  I am personally of the opinion that that’s not even remotely cute, but some people have said that it’s cute/endearing.  

I also get really really really distracted by fluffy animals (dogs especially) and will literally stop talking mid conversation to point out a squirrel and go say hi to it (I’m legit like the dog from UP), and I must pet every single dog/cat I see.  And I will legitimately have extensive in depth conversations with dogs (I worked as a dog walker over the summer, and one time I accidentally butt-dialed my mom and left her a four and a half minute voicemail of me talking to the dog I was walking lmao)

And I get super enthusiastic about things.  And when I’m excited I absolutely lose my shit.  Like I get so excited I squeal and jump up and down and talk at 10,000 words a minute.  When I smile when I’m super happy, I legit look like a fucking chipmunk (I’ve been told this by numerous people on numerous occasions).  Sometimes when I’m super excited I get so hyper and I do a little excited happy dance and hop up and down and wave my arms because I can’t contain my excitement.

I have this awful habit of always singing/humming under my breath because I always have songs stuck in my head.  And I literally cannot stop myself from singing along to songs that I like.  Also I have a really good memory for song lyrics and lines/quotes, and whenever someone says something that happens to be a line from a song, I literally cannot stop myself from bursting into song and singing the song that they inadvertently quoted. (I have a particularly large repertoire of songs from broadway musicals).  And I love different accents and dialects and stuff and I do them all the time, and sometimes I don’t realize that I’ve accidentally switched into some other accent mid sentence.

Basically, I’m a lot like a small child.  So if you find that endearing, then you might think I’m adorable.  But if not, lol I’m a fucking crazy loser.  Anyways, here are some pictures from the past couple years, so you can judge yourself whether or not you think I’m adorable.  As I said before, I personally am of the opinion that I am a massive nerd and I am unbelievably uncool and I literally have zero social skills and I am weird as fuck and the definition of a loser.  But you can judge for yourself.

(me pretending to be all edgy and cool with my fake tat sleeve at my high school graduation party but I’m legit wearing a fucking flower crown so...)

(for no other reason than the fact that I wanted to climb a tree)

(btw all this money is from a fundraiser for the community service club, which I was co-president of, and my friend and I were counting it to see how much we raised)

Wow that was fucking long.  Sorry about that lol

Ghoul: Is there something you do that really annoys people?

Oh definitely.  I’m pretty sure that I’m a highly annoying person.  Hell I annoy the crap out of myself most days.  But the first thing that comes to mind is my ridiculously deep sleep and subsequent alarm clock paranoia.  That has driven all of my past roommates nuts.  Basically, I am always in a state of severe sleep deprivation because I spend waaaaayyy too much time doing my work (I’m a perfectionist + I have ADHD + OCPD + a learning disability + lots of other super fun psychiatric disorders which means that basically I don’t fucking sleep).  And when I finally do sleep, I pass the fuck out.  Like I’ll legitimately sleep for 32 hours straight (yes I know that’s not even remotely healthy).  And the problem is that some of the medications I take make it so that I cannot sleep.  So I have to take another medication so that I can actually sleep.  But it knocks me the fuck out, and it makes it really hard to wake up.  And the problem is that I have shit I need to wake up for, like classes, team practice, or because I have a shit ton of work to do.  And I know that I’m a super heavy sleeper and I get soooo paranoid about sleeping through my alarms and missing classes/other things I need to go to (it’s happened a lot) so I set literally over 70 different alarms on my phone for when I need to wake up.  I’ll start the alarms about an hour before I need to get up and have one every ten minutes, and then once it gets closer to the time that I need to wake up, I have an alarm literally every other minute.  And I literally keep the alarms going for hours and hours after the time I’m supposed to wake up in case I totally slept through the first set(s) (it’s happened).  And because I’m so terrified of sleeping through things, I tend to just not sleep, which of course makes it worse when I finally do sleep.

Basically where I’m going with this is that I am a fucking pain in the fucking ass. I sleep through my alarms and literally don’t even budge and they just keep going off for hours.  Yeah.  It’s not good.  I know it’s a problem.  My roommate last year, who was also my best friend, would bring out her angry man voice when my alarms started going off.  Her voice would go all low and super angry and she’d say my name really loudly and I swear that would wake me up like nothing else because I was fucking terrified of her.  She’d bark out my name and I’d instantly wake up and start apologizing while wildly fumbling to shut off the alarms (and then of course I’d fall back asleep the second I turned a bunch of them off and have no memory of this whatsoever because I wasn’t actually awake it was just like an unconscious stress response to her man voice and then this would happen again a few hours later when my alarms went off again).  And I always apologized to her so much over this, and we’d laugh about it (when neither of us were trying to sleep) and about how her grouchy/angry man voice is so low and how I’m legitimately terrified of it.  Plus she did tons of really annoying/bad shit as a roommate so she couldn’t get too mad at me.  She more just got grouchy when she was trying to sleep, which is totally understandable.  Plus I know I’m beyond annoying like that, and I feel awful about it, but it’s a medical problem and I can’t really help it, but I am working on it so :/

Wow this was crazy long and way more information than anyone wanted to hear, and frankly, I doubt anyone will even read this (which makes it even more absurd that I spent so fucking long writing this but whatever).  

Anyways thank you for sending me this ask and sorry for taking a while to answer it and for also giving waaaaaaaaaaaay TMI on it.  I hope you have a lovely day!

Lots of love,-Lia