#self-recognition through the other (destructive)
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kiashieart · 7 months ago
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"It's okay. You can't always be the hero"
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demonic0angel · 2 months ago
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Hi!!! I just wanted to tell you thank you!!! Like, every time you post a dpxdc something, I just go feral. I come here after screeching at one your posts like a pterodactyl....inna good way I mean! Your writing just makes days better and brings a smile on my face when I need it. So, thank you for feeding my gremlin brain and sustaining my dark soul!
Anyways! My ask is if the recently posted 'Tim thinks Danny is a vampire but cute' would get a 2nd part????
Thank you!!!!!!!!!😄😄😄😄
(Wahhh tysm! I’m glad you like my stuff :D)
Part 1, Part 3, Part 4
Tim leaned on a fist as he watched Danny doodle on his notebook instead of taking notes. He was drawing constellations and cartoony stars everywhere, his face dazed even through the camera screen. Tim stared at him, knowing that no matter what Jason said, he was still extremely suspicious and needed a careful eye.
A figure suddenly approached Danny, a tall boy with red hair, freckles, and a face that oddly looked similar to Danny’s. He gathered Danny’s stuff without another word, even as Danny jumped up with a start to protest.
Danny floundered. Tim began reading his lips with narrowed eyes. ‘What! Hey, what’re you doing?’
‘We have to go,’ the boy said tugging on Danny’s wrist. His familiarity with him made Tim bristle as he opened another tab to look into the school records and use his face recognition program to find out whoever the hell this was.
A girl with a bandanna pulling back her curly hair then strode towards Danny. She reached over to hold Danny’s hand and pulled him away from the other boy, both of them urgent. Danny asked her something, his face tilted away enough that Tim couldn’t decipher his words.
Hissing, Tim hurriedly changed perspectives so he could catch the tail of his words. When did Danny have so many friends?! After weeks of watching him, Danny hardly interacted with many people at all! These two people were ones that Tim had seen often lingering about, but how did they know Danny?! And why were they so close to him?!
‘— see something?’
The girl nodded hurriedly, her eyebrows furrowed. ‘Someone’s watching you. We need to get you to safety.’
Tim’s heart dropped into his feet. He stood up from his seat to focus as he clicked on his mouse, trying to figure out what was happening. Were they onto him? But how? His cameras were the state of the art in tech and none of it should’ve been detectable!
Unless they were all vampires…? Or maybe his hypothesis was wrong and Danny was even worse than a bloodsucking creature.
In the cameras, Danny froze. Then he turned and all three of them looked at the camera that Tim had chosen to watch them, making direct eye contact with Tim behind the screen.
In an instant, Tim self destructed all of his cameras, listening devices and trackers (which honestly hadn’t worked at all since he attached them to various belongings of Danny.)
He was sweating as he erased all of his tracks expertly. When he was done, he cursed. All of his tech was destroyed completely and none of it could be traced back to him, but now he didn’t have a way to observe Danny.
He sighed and drew a hand through his hair. He picked up his phone and gave a call.
“Hey, Steph? Can you find a way for me to get into Gotham University right now?”
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chunksworld · 1 year ago
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Double Fantasy
NewJeans Minji x Male Reader | (Tags: Smut)
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A/N: Apologies for the long hiatus, ya boi was busy with life. Also, thank you @kaedespicelatte as always for beta reading. ————————
“My room. I’m giving you 15 minutes or we’re never doing this again.”
Kim Minji be damned.
You hate how every ounce of self-respect you have flies out of the window when it comes to her, as if you’re nothing but an outlet for her carnal desires (as she was to you). And perhaps you are—maybe it was just part of your delusion to think that she perceives you differently than the hundreds of men that shamelessly ogle her. That she views you more than just that guy that fucks her so good she struggles to keep that mouth of hers shut. But who are you to complain? Every encounter with her leaves you starstruck, wanting for more, tongue tied—as if she commands an unquantifiable amount of gravity that leaves you speechless literally and figuratively. As much as your brain is telling you that she’s dangerous, that everything that’s happening between the two of you can jeopardize everything you’ve worked so hard for, it’s the thrill that keeps you coming back time and time again.
I mean who would’ve thought that the two top students on campus would be engaging in such unholy acts? Not when everyone (your professors included) think of you two as the embodiment of the values that this very institution was established upon. The beacons of hope that would serve as inspirations for the rest of your peers, that through hard work they can attain the level of success that you two have. That couldn’t be any more farther than the truth however. Certainly your after school hookups with her inside empty classrooms, behind the bleachers, and inside the gym showers would beg to differ. But it’s not like you have any morals, that disappeared eons ago when you found yourself down this treacherous path of self-destruction in an attempt to alleviate the stress that comes with such expectations and responsibilities.
On the surface their perception of you two is true; students that constantly receive top marks in every subject and find themselves involved in as many activities and clubs as possible. Racking up awards was just second nature, as you would always receive the highest recognition much like she did over the years. It was only natural for a rivalry to spark between you and her; a byproduct of your competitiveness and your desire to come out on top. It was friendly at first, you would congratulate each other and encourage the other to do better next time. But it soon became ugly, the once wholesome banter turning into horrifying insults that you wouldn’t even think to come out of your mouth—needless to say you both became jealous of each other, of how successful the other one became.
You could say it was a petty affair, one that was exacerbated by the fact that everyone was pressuring you two to continuously be the best—a mental strain that proved to be too much. It was something that only happened behind closed doors though, everyone still thought you had an amicable relationship with her when everything was actually already falling apart. Yelling and screaming and arguing, truly an ugly sight. You would often talk about how you couldn’t stand how condescending she was towards you every time you made a mistake and she in turn would talk about how much she hates your ego. But it also involved even the smallest of things including how you thought her boyfriend was a dick because she would rarely see him (she claimed he was busy all the time but you knew better).
And with two extremely combustible elements in constant interaction with one another, an explosion was bound to occur. After months and months of arguing, it finally happened. It was midterms week and you two were extremely stressed (it didn’t help that you were only getting on average two to three hours of sleep and consuming an unhealthy amount of energy drinks). Oh, and that dick of a boyfriend she had broke up with her. She was inconsolable to say the least— but when you brought up how much you didn’t like him and blamed her for dating him in the first place like the asshole you were, that's when things took a turn. You know you fucked up, that it was a line crossed and that such words should have never been uttered. But instead of receiving a resounding slap on the face, you found yourself kissing her. 
Or rather, Minji kissing you. And any sane person would react by trying to pull away in shock but you couldn’t find yourself doing it. Perhaps this was something that was bound to happen. All of those arguing and bickering, maybe it was just a ruse. The urgency, the passion, the look of desperation in her eyes; they told the story. Maybe it was the caffeine, maybe it was the adrenaline, maybe it was something more. Whatever it is, she needed you as much as you needed her. She was coming off a terrible breakup and you, well—you would be lying to yourself if you said that you didn’t find her attractive because who didn’t? There’s a reason why she’s rejected at least half of the male students, and you definitely don’t miss the way some of them would glare at you because of how suspiciously close you were to her. 
In that aspect, a part of you considers this a small victory; especially when she grabs you by the collar and pulls you in deeper, as if the thought of letting you go would be the end of her. It was intense and as much as your senses were firing from all cylinders, your brain was telling you that this wasn’t right. You were supposed to hate her, she was your mortal enemy. What would everyone think? That the two top students were hooking up with—close the fucking door before I change my mind. Right. Every rationale you may have had was gone in an instant. The prospect of a classmate, a member of the maintenance crew, or worse—a staff potentially catching the two of you never crossed your mind. Not when you had her bent over the desk at one point screaming you’re fucking me so good and don’t stop while you rearrange her guts. Or when you had her pinned against the wall and pumped her so full of cum that she finally gave you her number after because she wanted you two to do it all over again.
Did the room reek of sex? Sure. That’s why she’s made it a habit to bring a bottle of air freshener to mask the scent during your subsequent “study sessions.” And were people starting to notice how you two would frequently stay up late despite not always having a busy workload? Definitely. But you could care less. In fact, nothing else matters. You were addicted to her in more ways than one, not romantically however. That was something she made abundantly clear the day after—clearly she was one to establish boundaries which you respected. Yet here you are, frantically putting on some nice clothes and making yourself smell nice with that twenty dollar bottle of perfume that she hates. Fuck it, why even bother? Your clothes will be thrown to God knows where the moment you enter her place anyways. At least put on a face mask, especially since you’ll be sneaking your way to her dorm once again and you don’t want another close encounter with the security guard.
Fortunately there wasn’t any problem, your disguise actually worked this time around but you still have to be cautious. It’s a quick elevator ride yet it takes forever, maybe it’s because you two haven’t had sex in the past two weeks and you’re just dying to get a taste of her again, to feel her irresistible body against yours. Look around before knocking on the door three times and fortunately you didn’t have to wait any longer. Minji hastily pulls you inside and grabs you by your hoodie for a kiss—immediately you get a taste of her favorite cinnamon lip balm. Her strength (which still surprises you to this day) forces you to move backwards and you find your back pressed against her door. Hands roam each other’s bodies and you groan as you feel her fingers cup your bulge. Fuck, why are you so hard already? 
You’re not one to just let her do what she wants so you avoid her chasing lips to plant yours on her neck, biting and nipping on her smooth skin while your own fingers creep underneath her shirt. “D-Don’t fucking mark me. I—shit—I’ve got a presentation tomorrow.” Minji finally speaks and you would’ve gladly granted her wish but with the way she’s leaning her head back, it didn’t seem like her words were matching her actions. Much more so when you grab on the hem of that same shirt and pull it up and she willfully raises her arms so you can remove it. And before you even get the opportunity to appreciate her body, your sweatpants are already being pulled down. Help her out by kicking that obstructive garment away; in fact you end up removing your hoodie as well which only leaves you with your boxers on and it barely conceals your raging desire for her. 
“This is your fault. Your fault for making me wait so damn long.” You don’t miss the way she bites her lips at the sight of your bulge, even as you make your way further down with your mouth and proceed to mark her collarbones and her cleavage. Her deft fingers continue to distract you however, pulling your boxers down and wrapping her cold digits around your throbbing and pulsating cock. The effect on you is immediate as you can do nothing but lean your head back and groan shamelessly. Minji smirks, especially because this is one of the only few times she has the upper hand on you; when you’re just putty in her arms and rendered breathless by her actions. It gets even worse when she slowly begins to pump you, drawing more precum out of your tip with how badly you just want to ravage her. 
“You poor thing.” You can feel her hot breath against your ear, sending more shivers down your spine as she’s decided that it’s now her turn to leave marks on you. It’s apparent that Kim Minji is just as possessive as you, even though neither one of you wants to reveal your dirty little secret to everyone. “Guess you couldn’t last that long without me, huh? Were those pictures I sent not enough?” Of course they weren’t, no amount of thirst pics of her in her underwear can satiate your endless lust towards her. Nothing can replace her hands, the way she can just work you to submission and make you so impatient. “I can’t blame you.” Her teeth sink into your jugular like a vampire. “I’ve been thinking about how much I want you to rail me into the bed, to make me moan so fucking load, to make me choke on your cock. Will you do all of that for me?”
You’re ashamed by how much that turned you on, as if a switch has been flipped inside you. You don’t miss a beat and lift her up by her waist which makes her squeal; her legs wrap around you while you carry her towards her bed. No more foreplay, you almost throw her onto the bed before yanking her shorts and her panties in the process. They’re discarded along with the rest of your clothing somewhere in the room. Her bra follows suit as well—you can’t believe she’s had it on for this long. “Fuck, you don’t know how much I want to put a load in you. Until you’re filled with so much cum that all you can think about is my cock.” You spread her long legs open and it’s clear that everything she said is true; her clit is puffed and her inner thighs are already drenched with her juices. 
Kneel in front of her and carefully position your length inside her. “Gonna fuck you now.” Through gritted teeth, Minji nods; her fingers gripping your biceps while her legs are already pulling you in. You sink into her further and further, drinking her moans and whispered curses until you bottom out inside her. She still feels so good, so  tight, so warm. You have to silence her mouth with a kiss because her moans are increasing in volume as you gradually increase her pace. “So, so fucking good. You’re gonna drain me dry.” Feel her nails digging into your shoulders and back, you’re definitely going to feel the sting of the scratches she’s leaving tomorrow morning but that’s not your concern for now. A bite of your bottom lip further confirms that she’s in an equal state of euphoria and you respond by continuing to fuck her with the same pace and intensity.
You’re careful not to make the bed creak but that’s fortunately an art that you’ve already mastered given the circumstances. But even with her luscious thighs wrapped around you, it’s not enough to have her drunk on your cock, you want her to beg for it like her life depends on it. You pause for a brief moment much to her verbal disappointment before pressing her legs against her chest to effectively fuck her in mating press. You know it’s her favorite position because an uncharacteristically loud moan escapes her mouth the moment you resume your fucking, your fingers gripping the bedsheet for support. “F-Fuck! Please, keep fucking me. So—damn—big!” You’re going to have to kiss her again because she’s slowly losing her grip on her surroundings, only focused on how much you’re pounding her into the bed.
“This is what you wanted, right? I bet not even your toys can fuck you this deep.” Minji doesn’t answer but her body responds for her; a particularly deep thrust has her clinging on to you for dear life. Her breasts pressing up against you and followed by the rest of her body. Bury your face on the crook of her neck, inhaling her addicting scent as you can feel her tightening ever so slightly around your cock. It’s becoming more of an effort to thrust inside her now, especially when you’re fucking her balls deep with every motion of your hips. Only broken sentences and curses are leaving her mouth at this very moment, along with shameless moans of your name as if she’s not afraid to reveal to everyone just how much the model student is getting dicked down by her fellow model student.
Maybe she isn’t. Maybe that’s part of the thrill after all, the aspect of getting caught. But that’s not your worry at this moment; not when that said model student is beginning to tighten even more and her breathing is becoming more hurried. You pull away to look at her facial expression and it’s painted with nothing but lust. The way her face is misted with sweat, her eyes closed, and her mouth open. It’s clear that her orgasm is just right around the corner. “C-Coming! I’m so fucking close, don’t you dare fucking stop.” You don’t care that your abs are burning, that’s what those 7 AM workouts in the gym are for. It’s for moments like these, when her nails are damn near close to breaking your skin and tears are starting to well on her eyes. It then becomes your goal to break her, like you always do during these sessions.
And it’s during another particularly deep thrust that her orgasm hits her like lightning, her pussy becoming unimaginably tight as if she wants you to join her in her euphoria as well. She’s almost crying, her body twitching uncontrollably as you pin her down to the bed. Tears eventually do fall due to the overwhelming pleasure, that makeup that you’re only noticing now is completely destroyed. Her juices begin to soak your length and the sheets underneath. She’s biting her lips so hard that it’s starting to bleed, get rid of the blood by giving her open-mouthed kisses. But you’re so focused on helping her come down from her high that you don’t realize that you’re about to explode as well, Perhaps you might, because you’re starting to throb madly as you continue to fuck her through her powerful orgasm. 
You spread her legs as far as you can, pistoning into her with no abandon. More of her juices stream out and you’re almost apologetic because of the mess that she’s going to have to clean up. But it’s really hard to focus on anything else when her pussy is still pulsating, continuing to urge you to join her in her orgasm. “Need your cum inside me, don’t you dare pull out.” It’s not like you had any intentions to in the first place, not when her suffocating warmth is begging to drain your balls for everything it has. The tension is building, rising, culminating—one animalistic growl after you bottom out and you’re pumping ropes and ropes of semen deep inside her. It floods her walls, it overflows, and you just can’t stop pushing it as deep inside her as possible. To make sure that her womb is completely filled with your cum and nothing else. It’s downright euphoric, the way her name leaves your lips like it’s a mantra. The way all of it triggers a smaller, second orgasm from her—truly wringing you dry.
It takes minutes for your movement to come to a halt, and by then your orgasm has completely subsided and so has hers. You feel her arms pull you in for a kiss, a much slower and passionate one compared to earlier. As if she’s saying thanks, because her voice is probably already gone. Or perhaps she’s just preserving her energy because if there’s anything you know about Minji, it’s that one round is not enough for her. If that’s the case then you better get a quick rest. Pull out of her and watch your excess semen drip out of her and down to her thighs. It’s truly a sight that you’ll never get tired of time and time again. Even more so when she takes a finger and takes a sample of your combined juices. It doesn’t take too long for your cock to become fully erect once again despite your orgasm just mere minutes ago.
There’s no time to contemplate though as Minji saves you the trouble because the next thing you know her perfectly shaped ass is raised and facing you, her arms bracing herself on the bed as she clearly shows you what she wants. “Need you to cum in me again, can you do that for me?” There’s no more time to waste, take a glance at the bedside clock and it’s already way past midnight—any noise at this hour would further alert people. You quickly kneel behind her, positioning your cock once again inside her pussy but this time in a much swifter manner. But despite all of the lubrication she’s so much tighter in this position. Grab on her ass for support and leverage as you begin to thrust, it’s a sight to behold that is her curves and back covered with sweat and her hair becoming a disheveled mess. 
She’s much more silent this time, thanks to the fact that her moans are being muffled by the pillows. This slow tempo also gives you time to recover, though it’s clear that she wants you to be rough with her once again with the way she’s moving her hips in a back and forth motion. Fine, if that’s what she wants then that’s what she gets. Just thirty seconds is all you need to recover, especially when you’ve got that heavenly view in front of you. You grab her by the arms and pull her upright until her back is pressed against your chest, your hands palming her breasts as you suddenly increase your pace. It’s your favorite position because not only is her body pressed against yours but you can view everything about her up close—her ruined mascara, her swollen lip, the dried tears on her face. 
Your fingers slowly creep up to her neck as you fuck her with all of your remaining strength, quieting her with more kisses—also because you just love kissing the hell out of her due to how irresistible and soft her lips are. She might’ve had another orgasm already but you’re too far gone, too caught up in chasing your own that you don’t notice. Either way, it only takes ten minutes this time for you to unload whatever remaining load you had (which is surprisingly a lot considering that when you pull out, a copious amount of semen is dripping out of her now swollen pussy once again). Now you’re truly spent, crashing on her twin sized bed that can barely fit the two of you so you always end up cuddling post sex. And as crazy as it sounds, this is the part of this whole ordeal that you’re oh-so-afraid of. Will she hear how quickly your heart beats when her head is resting on it? Will she find out that you’re slowly starting to wish that there was more between you two? Despite the fact that it’s an incredibly terrible idea that could have major implications in your future?
“Take me out to dinner first.” Minji is the first one to break the silence and the words that come out of her mouth completely terrifies you—it almost makes you jump out of the bed.
“What?”
“I’m not stupid.” Minji looks up to you, then places a gentle kiss on the hickey she left on your neck. “We’ve been hooking up for five months and you’re telling me there’s no way you haven’t fallen in love with me yet?”
Maybe you have.
Then you remember how angry you felt when her boyfriend broke up with her and you couldn’t do anything about it; you just wanted to barge inside her room and hold her in your arms and apologize for being such a dick and you couldn’t. You wanted to tell her that she deserves better because she truly does, but whether it was you that deserved to take that place in her heart you didn’t know. You were mortified at the thought of your relationship only remaining at such a stage—even though she made it crystal clear that she didn’t want anything to develop between you two. But it’s all in the past now—which begs the question: have you truly fallen in love with her? It only takes one look at those eyes and the way her lips curl upwards and how she fits so perfectly in your arms and how you wish you could be with her forever and how it all completely fucks up your equilibrium.
Yeah.
Of course you have.
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darkroom-fanzine · 2 months ago
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[And the curtain opens...!]
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[Image Description: a black and white banner gif showing Siffrin from In Stars And Time as he wanders through the third floor of the House. He is posed in the center of the image, faced to his left (viewer's right) as if moving in that direction. Behind him are four trailing repetitions of his image, each one losing opacity as they get further away, with a final fifth one having its values inverted, appearing instead as Mal Du Pays. Floating around them are six polaroid photographs, the first covering up the right half of Siffrin's face, showing instead a values inversion of it within its borders, their expression blank. Beyond that in order from closest to Siffrin to farthest away, the polaroids show Mirabelle, Isabeau, Odile, Bonnie, and one that is indistinguishable, all members of the party with their faces distorted out, while the last one is distorted beyond a potential for recognition. On the other side of Siffrin, to his left, is a flash-like burst evocative of a camera flash or a star (much like Loop's head), partially hidden over by Siffrin's shadow. Around the brick walls in the background and partially growing over the bottom left of the foreground can be seen the King's hair, and in the bottom right is text reading: "Darkroom | an ISAT Fanzine". The entire thing has been animated to look as if the lines around Siffrin, their shadows, and all the distortions over the polaroids are boiling, while light shines off from around the flash/star. End ID.]
[Hello, stardust~! How can I help you on this wonderful new loop?]
Welcome, everyone! This is the blog for the upcoming project, "Darkroom: an ISAT Fanzine". We are excited to finally announce our beginnings, and hope you will stick around to see what it is we have to offer!
Firstly, let us introduce ourselves. The mod team for this fanzine comprises of myself (@actingwithportals), as well as @voidedtea, @publiccmenace, @astrangeavenue, @sundimus, and @plasticteabag. Between the six of us, we have experience as leads, co-leads, moderators, and contributors on four individual fanzine projects, and are all excited to begin work on something new!
Now, let's get to the fun part, shall we?
[Darkroom: Negative Space, Long Exposure, Afterimage.]
The theming for this fanzine centers around the idea of distortions, how they obscure what we see and perceive, and how they can bring to light an entirely new perspective hidden behind the more easily comprehensible. In Stars And Time shows us throughout Siffrin's loops how the order of a carefully curated script can bring about a chaotic mental state, and how the chaotic breaking down of these self-imposed walls can bring about the order of accepting vulnerability.
Change is often destruction, and in the midst of that destruction can be found something beautiful, something to live for. This is the idea we hope to present through this fanzine.
[Fanzine Content.]
The Darkroom Fanzine will be a multi-media culmination of fanworks created by fans, for fans, and available for free download on Itch.io. Creations can vary anywhere from art, to writing, to music, to essays, to crafts, to whatever you can think of that you would like to see included in this project!
The only restrictions we will be enforcing is content that lies outside of the existing rating for the game, meaning no 18+ subject material.
However new you are to your Craft—whether it be writing, art, edits, collages, or anything beyond—your skills are welcomed here. From beginners to professionals, all are encouraged to apply! Once we hit an internally agreed upper limit of participants, we will lock the sign-up form should that limit be reached before the end date of the sign-ups occurs.
[Interest Checks.]
To kick this off, we are opening an interest check form to gauge interest for this project. The form will remain open from January 23rd through February 22nd, upon which the following day (February 23rd) the sign-up form will go live.
[Curtain Call.]
Thank you all for taking the time to read this far, and if you have any further questions/inquiries/concerns about this project, our askbox is open! Relatedly, you can also shoot us an email at [email protected].
INTEREST CHECK FORM HERE.
[See you under the Favor Tree soon, stardust~ ✨]
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estrellogy · 10 months ago
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My First Astro Note ����
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Natal Chart
- MC is who you want to become in relation to others’ recognition and approval. NN is who your soul wants to be independent of others. In spiritual terms, it can be outer manifestations versus inner knowing.
- MC is what you bring into the physical world. It is the bridge between heaven and earth, the material and non-material. That’s why it’s often associated with career and public image. Self-mastery and reaching your full potential.
- NN is where your soul will learn to recognize itself the most:
For example, NN in 8th house will learn about itself the most through surrendering to another. To share instead of possess. To dissolve the self into someone else and realize the oneness of everything.
NN in 2nd house may learn about itself through possessing and then letting go. To achieve and then realize that nothing is permanent. All one ever possesses is who they are at the core.
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- When evaluating attractiveness, I often look to the 2nd house more than the first. The first is super important of course! But the 2nd house is like the accessories and adornments. The first house is the base outfit and the 2nd is all the extra details that make the first house stand out even more.
Maybe it’s my Virgo Venus or something, but beauty to me lies in the details. Memorable beauty is not always in your face. It’s subtle and it makes you wonder about it. That’s why the deeper layer of the 2nd house can be so indicative of charm that goes beyond the physical.
With that being said, I think Venus and Pluto in 2nd house are often found in very attractive people, even when they’re not conventionally good-looking.
Venus in 2nd house is enchanting, really. They are sensual and deeply connected to their physical body and senses. They enhance whatever experience you’re having. If you’re eating a meal, they know what to add to bring out the flavors even more. They know what fragrance to use for what purpose. They just understand how things visually work together. And their voice is sweet and coy and irresistible. They weave themselves into your senses to the point where you begin to think about them whenever you experience pleasure.
Pluto in 2nd is magnetic. It is the hidden charge in someone’s energy that you can’t physically pinpoint. It is in their voice, the slight strain that makes you wonder what they’re holding back. It’s the slight force of power wanting to dominate. It is the subtle, Taurus-infused energy of elegance and authority. Being around them make you want to submit without them needing to exert power or control. You just want to because they seem so solid and stable. But it’s Pluto so they’re also destructive and dangerous. But human nature always seems to yearn for what is dark and painful but pleasurable.
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tearcynical · 4 months ago
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Crosswire Introductory Post!
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What would happen if Cross became an error? This is the answer to that question! After XGaster's continuous resets, somewhere along the way Cross's code split into pieces, leading to the majority of those pieces ending up somewhere in a far off outcode. Becoming the way he is now, his past memories were weathered and faded with time. Instead of dwelling on figuring out his past and rediscovering who he was, he's set on who he's going to become, who he wants to be. Eyes on the future, Crosswire joins The Omega Timeline to better the futures of others, restoring code to dwindling aus, while simultaneously protecting them from those who'd wish them harm.
His life within the timeline he calls home is unfortunate at best. Crosswire puts in tremendous effort for those around him, yet receives less in turn due to the stereotypical view of errors and their variants. Working hard he receives recognition for his duty - but little for his character, and other interests. He knows he wants good for his self proclaimed family and friends, but hardly knows what to make of himself past that. With the lack of memories and lapses of that already poor memory, Crosswire fears he's going to lose what little he already has.
Duty calls him though, and that job of his leads him to discover the destructive entity that is Ethernet. Stopping and constantly thwarting Ethernet's plans in a scramble to help those in need, Crosswire can't help but to feel a sense of familiarity around the other glitch. His memory feels more secure near him, he's sworn he's seen a face like his before, so on and so forth. Developing an attachment to his enemy, he finds peace with their regular battles and violent interactions. Ethernet successfully becomes the one constant in his life, the one person who's upfront and honest with him (no matter how aggressive).
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Crosswire can come across as mean, and he's definitely sassy, though underneath his pricklier exterior lies a squishy, loveable inside. Protecting that inside is a hardened, nonchalant (for lack of a better word) shell. He exhibits great patience and he's extremely considerate, although once you tread too far across his boiling point he has a fiery, hard to quell temper. Most of his rage, discomfort, and pointentally other negative emotions are held on his inside, bottled and kept from ever poking their head. He fears his already difficult to enjoy character would be worse off if he expressed himself to the fullest. He cares deeply for those around him regardless of if they do for him, and he sees the better sides of things with an almost foolish optimism. He's strong-willed, both in behaviour and form, and he's an even stronger lover.
- Crosswire's strings don't come from his eyes, but instead come from his cheeks. He peels them from his skull in an almost painful manner, like heated rubber pried from a road. His strings are stronger, harder to snap or break, more like wire than thread.
- Cross's fear of cows has translated weirdly through Crosswire's broken memory. Instead of being terrified of simple farm animals, he's deathly scared of Mammoths.
- Crosswire, when he's not busy with his work, spends his time creating comics. They're nothing special, as his creative abilities are nowhere near as good as others, but he enjoys the process of storytelling and drawing. Excuse his many plotholes, stereotypically drawn anime segments, and overpowered characters, and you might enjoy them.
- Crosswire is capable of destroying Aus much like his counterpart, although he's modified that violent technique and turned it into something constructive.
( Ethernet belongs to @labryveinth )
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ilmarin · 6 months ago
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Sauron’s single tear when he killed Celebrimbor genuinely gives me so much brainrot because it feels like a self recognition through the other moment where whatever is left of Mairon within him shines through. He and Celebrimbor were both talented and ambitious smiths and they both got seduced with power by a more powerful, fallen Ainu, much to their undoing, didn’t they? They are such mirror images. Maybe Sauron’s tears are selfish ones of self pity from losing Celebrimbor as a tool, but I like to think deep down a part of him also mourns that Celebrimbor broke out of the bonds Sauron laid on him, and resisted to the end, and ultimately his fëa goes to back to Valinor for healing. It’s what Sauron himself could have been. But what has become of Mairon now? He can never go back; and for a while he had a peer of sorts in Celebrimbor, a companion and partner—but now he’s lost him too, at the hands of his own destructive ambition.
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fashionteahouse · 27 days ago
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May I request Jacob finding his imprint after an earthquake or building collapse? Would love if you could make her plus size but if not it's ok!
ofc you can and i will make them plus size for you ! hope you enjoy :)
on earth - jacob x reader
Before he heard any more of the news, Jacob was on his way to the site.
Billy received a call from Charlie Swan, he had to attend a scene to help people from an Earthquake incident.
The pack felt it. The deep shatter of the Earth shaking like rattled old bones.
Jacob didn’t want to wear clothes but he had to. He couldn’t go shirtless like how he always does in duty or else, the secret would be out.
He was there before Charlie was. Something was pulling him to where the police had up yellow tape, resisting anyone who tried to duck under the tape.
His wolf scratched to get to the other side.
Charlie came in time, telling the officers, “He’s with me. Come on.”
Jacob’s eyes scoured through the rubble. His heart dropped once he saw that some of a building was crumbled.
He put his nose to the test, really trying to pick up a scent and it was delicious. Each step he took it became stronger and stronger. He followed it. He believed it would follow him to righteousness.
The pack pulled and helped survivors up from rubble. Some had injuries, some were just trapped and couldn’t get out of fallen materials.
He heard groans of a muffled, “help.”
His fast eyes studied through the haze of dust and destruction, but he found what he believed what he was looking for.
Underneath pieces of concrete and steel, was a figure that was definitely still alive. He could hear the erratic beating of your heart. You were scared.
Lifting pieces of concrete and debris, he found your eyes. Everything was lifted off of you, but you both felt like you both were lifting each other.
Jacob’s heart stopped. Your heart stopped. A connection. Recognition. Eyes continued to stay locked on each other.
He knew what was happening. You were binding him on Earth. It was his new favorite feeling. You were his favorite feeling. You felt completed. Safe.
A soft smile graced his lips as he helped you up. Overlooking you. You felt self cautious as your shirt was slightly ripped, exposing some skin due to all of the trouble.
He keeps an arm around you. He felt the part of exposed skin on your waist.
He would never forget the feeling. It was warm. Like him.
“Are you alright?” he asks you. You nod. This person was like your very own superhero.
Helping you walk, the air was thick with dust while the ground still shook with aftershocks.
A strained breath escaped you. The fallen wall of a building was on your chest and since you were free again, you wanted to speak.
“I thought….I was going to die like that…..I thought no one was ever going to find me..” you whisper in a rasp.
Jacob’s mind raced. Jacob’s heart raced. To lose you, meant losing everything. He didn’t like the thought of that.
“I wasn’t going to let that happen. I’m here.” he says as he rubbed your back. His statement was filled with confidence. It filled you with a surge of hope and your own confidence.
What he did next surprised you. Lifting you easily in his arms, you arms immediately go around his neck. It felt right. He thought so too.
Big strides were taken as he easily walked and stepped right over the crumbled materials. The world shook, the world crumbled, but he knew one thing for certain. He would be damned to be separated from you.
“What’s your name?” he asks gently. You shyly tell him. He repeats it.
You thought your name was just okay. But, after hearing him repeat it after you, made you fall in love with how it sounded.
“W-what’s your name?” you ask quietly. This man saved you with due diligence.
“Jacob.”
You think for a moment as he carried you closer to the EMT truck.
“Is it okay if I call you, Jake?” you ask.
The breathtaking smile almost made you faint.
“You can call me whatever you like.” he says. You smile back. It was contagious and you couldn’t help it.
He sits you down and wrapped a rescue blanket around you. He then couldn’t help it. He placed a gentle but featherlight kiss on the crown of your head. You felt warm and bubbly inside. So did he.
The bond you two have found, would never crumble. The connection you two had couldn’t be broken. Not by an earthquake and not by the world.
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two-stars · 8 months ago
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fuck it. I’m analyzing Dr Ratio’s eidolons.
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I interpret eidolons as different facets of a persons character, tying back into their journey in life. (Also this shit loooong so I’m putting it under cut)
1. Pride Comes Before a Fall: this phrase originates from the Bible (proverbs 16:18), which talk of how the sin of pride will eventually lead to destruction, and telling one to practice humility*. To me, this phrase refers possibly to Ratio’s desire to be noticed by Nous. His pride originating from his previous achievements, lauded and touted as a prodigy from a young age (this is, of course, speculation because MIHOYO WONT GIVE ME RATIO LOOREEE). Through this pride, we can obviously see what happens next: he is never noticed by Nous, this is his fall. Either in the eyes of others, or himself (as it is never outright stated that Ratio sought the gaze of Nous, but I subscribe heavily to this line of thinking, due to his voiceline when you max level him: “If this day I have not gained the recognition of Nous, it stands to reason I never will at any point in the future”).
2. The Divine is In the Details: This is an idiom, although it’s more commonly said as “God is in the details”. This phrase is meant to emphasize the importance of the smaller, overlooked details which make up the whole. This is used most often in art and architecture, but can be applied to many other things. I connect this to Ratio’s meticulous nature as a scholar and researcher, but I also draw lines to his 1st eidolon. After Ratio is rejected by the higher powers, he turns instead to the “insignificant” common people, realizing their importance— we know that Ratio values all life, even one’s “marked by failure”, which others may overlook. Real divinity is not the God, but rather the beauty of humanity’s falls and successes.
3. Know Thyself: This was a proverb written upon the temple of Apollo, in Delphi, Ancient Greece. This has many meanings, from knowing your limits (either as one’s place in the universe, or your own mortality), to the broader interpretation by Plato as knowing your soul, and a a common theme of through studying the self could one know the universe. All of these relate heavily to Ratio, considering his tenets of self-improvement. He also references in his line when he finds an enemy target, “You learn to know yourself before your enemy.” (Which is ALSO a quote from Sun Tzu’s The Art of War.) I think this one is pretty self explanatory as a continuation to the previous Eidolons, after his rejection, he seeks to reevaluate (relearn) himself and his stance in life.
4. Ignorance Is Blight: This represents Ratio’s goal to eradicate ignorance and stupidity across the universe, but it is also a inverse on the popular idiom “ignorance is bliss”. This idiom is basically everything Ratio stands against, he will know and say the truth unfiltered, even if it is uncomfortable. I also see this as Ratio finally discovering his calling as a teacher.
5. Sic Itur Ad Astra*: Written in the Aeneid, meaning “thus one journeys to the stars”. It has merged over time with another phrase in the Aeneid, “opta ardua pennis astra sequi” (meaning: desire to pursue the difficult-to-reach stars) becoming the common encouragement, “Reach for the stars.” We know Ratio never settles for doing anything in halves, and as a teacher, he constantly pushes others and himself to reach for high goals. Although his methods can be harsh, it is ultimately through strife (“— it is only in moments on solitude and despair, when help is absent, that fools grasp how to pick themselves up.”), that he seeks to unlock the potential of every person. This is most obviously seen in the Trailblazer Continuance quest: Crown of Mundane and Divine where he leverages the situation to try and topple the blind worship of the Genius Society on the space station.
6. Vincit Omnia Veritas: Meaning: Truth conquers all things. Surface level, this one is pretty straightforward too, Ratio values truth highly, and to him, it is the antithesis to ignorance, and therefore knowledge. As his Ultimate voiceline goes, he says, “Knowledge is the measure of all things. It reveals truth, and falsehood.” What I want to focus on however, is his pose in the eidolon. It is the exact same pose as Michelangelo’s David statue. This depiction is of David before his famous battle with Goliath. In this eidolon, Ratio is the figure David, who was also known as a symbol of the protection of civil liberties. And in by interpretation, Goliath is the stupidity he wants to eradicate. Just as truth conquers all things, Veritas will conquer all ignorance.
*— I also think this is why he consistently downplays himself and avoids the spotlight (calling himself a supporting character).
*— fun fact, this phrase is also used as the motto of Cambridge University, very fitting.
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literaryvein-reblogs · 2 months ago
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Writing your Character's "Inner Critic"
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Inner Critic - a mental inner voice that criticizes and judges your actions, thoughts, and behaviors.
In the early 20th century, psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud referred to it as the “superego,” and it’s been a constant source of study ever since.
Learning to address the excesses of your critical inner voice is an important element of self-care and holistic well-being.
Popular psychology movements of today—like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT)—assist individuals with reframing their inner critic’s negative thought processes.
Negative Thoughts From Your Inner Critic
Assessing your mental health means knowing when your inner critic is doing nothing but harm. Examples of an inner voice that engages in self-destructive behaviors:
Dwelling on the past: If you regularly beat yourself up for past mistakes and regrets about life experiences, recognize that many of these thoughts are self-defeating. Your inner critic draws on memories like this to keep you incapable of growing in the present moment.
Focusing on shortcomings: Your inner critic might be a perfectionist���holding you to impossibly high standards—or just constantly echo your deepest insecurities. If you think of yourself in the second person a lot—”you’re not good enough,” “you’ll never succeed,” and so on—you might be under the thumb of your inner critic.
Worrying about the future: You might constantly think that you’ll inevitably say or do something to destroy your future prospects. Your inner critic might insist bad things are inevitable and that you should always stay in your comfort zone since you’re bound to mess things up if you color outside the lines. Heeding these judgmental demands will limit your ability to grow and enjoy all life has to offer.
Ways Meditation Helps Counter the Inner Critic
Slowing down and centering your mind can help you combat the critical inner voice in your head. Here are just five ways meditation can help you:
Empowers you with positive affirmations: Through certain types of meditation—like metta or the “lovingkindness practice”—you can use upbuilding and compassionate thoughts and mantras to anchor your sense of self-compassion and combat the worst urges of your inner critic. These affirmations help reorient your mind in a positive direction holistically.
Enables you to recognize impermanence: At the center of meditative practice is a recognition that the present moment is ever fleeting. As soon as you pay attention to one breath, your mind whisks away to some stray thought. The more you do this—always returning to the subject of meditative focus—the more you’ll see your mind divert to your inner critic’s viewpoint. It’ll become obvious as you continue to meditate that it’s just one point of view among many—and you can pay attention to its demands or ignore it just the same.
Encourages you to determine what’s of value: Not all self-criticism is bad. You should discard needlessly negative thoughts, but you can turn the inner critic into one of your best friends if you tame its voice. The equanimity brought on through meditation helps you see when a critical thought can be constructive or when you should ignore it for being untrue and damaging.
Gives you an opportunity to practice compassion: A mindfulness practice allows you to see yourself from the outside looking in—and this experience often brings about a sense of self-compassion. As you meditate, you can see and feel the damage the inner critic is doing to you from an objective standpoint. This can lead you to treat yourself more kindly and, as a result, treat others more kindly, too.
Helps you detach from your ego: Meditation allows you to reorient your sense of self-esteem away from the attachments of your ego. By distancing yourself from your ego (or “I, me, mine” thoughts) in general, you also distance yourself and even silence your inner critic. Although it might sound contradictory, thinking less about yourself, in general, can significantly boost self-confidence overall.
At its best, the inner critic is one voice among many—and you can take it or leave it.
If you can sift through these self-critical thoughts objectively and analytically, you can discover whether they’re valuable or merely detrimental and untrue.
The former can help you improve as a person; the latter will only bring you down.
At its worst, the inner critic can act as an intrusive, overpowering force—wracking you with unnecessary self-doubt and causing insecurity, depression, and anxiety.
Letting your inner critic run roughshod over you like this usually isn’t healthy.
Managing this facet of your inner dialogue can lead to positive personal growth possibilities, but left to its own devices, it can cause an overwhelming amount of negative self-talk and low self-esteem.
Source ⚜ More: Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs
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milkfordragons · 22 days ago
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By blood and by me, I'll follow your lead.
Will Graham aches for Hannibal Lecter. His hunger for him is undeniable, a marrow-deep craving that eclipses reason. But can he love him?
We know little of his past. He is motherless, raised in poverty. These sparse details serve as the only signposts of his history; beyond them, he remains a mystery. If Hannibal’s heart is a frozen well, sealed until a vast enough void summons its waters, then Will’s is a black hole. It does not overflow; it only takes in, swallowing light, swallowing feeling, endlessly consuming. If Hannibal has an excess of nectar, awaiting the perfect chalice to hold it, then Will is the abyss that ensures it will never stop flowing. He is not the receiver of love...he is its devourer.
Unlike Hannibal, whose affections extend to art, cuisine, philosophy, and the aesthetics of violence, Will is curiously bereft of passion. He does not love people; he does not even try. He cares for his dogs, but he belongs to them as much as they belong to him. He is drawn to Alana yet does not pursue her beyond what serves his own narrative. His colleagues orbit him, but he keeps them at arm’s length. Beverly sees him as a tool. Jack values his utility. And Alana pities him, plays at saving him. But no one, not a single soul, is truly his.
Hannibal, by contrast, cultivates a social life, a network of admirers, colleagues, and so-called friends. He is an artist of experience, capable of relishing beauty despite his wounds. But Will? Will does not live. He seemingly rots in his home, fishes, works, and in the spaces in between, just exists as if waiting for something. And then there is his fascination with murder. Not justice. Not retribution. His empathy stretches only toward the grotesque, to killers and the bloody fingerprints they leave on the world. He has no patience for the dullness of normal minds, but he delights in the labyrinthine corridors of the violent ones. They alone are worthy of his attention, his passion.
Abigail Hobbs was never truly seen by him. He fashioned an idea of her, an innocent he could redeem, an emblem rather than a person. He sought to mold her into something that suited his own reflection, never once stopping to ask what she desired. In this, he was not unlike Hannibal, but he was less honest about his intentions. He did not love her, not in the way Hannibal did, with full recognition of who and what she was. No wonder she preferred Hannibal.
Will sees himself as a stray, one of his dogs. Not their owner, not their friend, not their father, but one of them. This view of himself bleeds into his understanding of others. He sees Hannibal as a stray too, something wild and wounded, something that calls to him. He is drawn to beasts because taming them is the only way he knows to grapple with his own monstrosity. To control the external is to impose order upon the internal. And yet, he fails. He fails because he is not, at heart, a tamer.
He is hunger.
Others on the periphery recognize Hannibal’s danger and step away. But not Will. He follows, chases, again and again. Every decision, no matter how self-destructive, leads him back to Hannibal.
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He cloaks himself in morality, in duty, in obligation, but it is a flimsy disguise. He does not pursue justice. There are many ways to save lives, many avenues to do good in the world, and yet Will chooses only the path soaked in blood. He merges with brutality because it is the only thing that stirs his soul. His supposed righteousness is a mask, and his masks are legion.
So can Will Graham love? He sees through people, sees their fears, their desires, their wounds...and he is bored by most of them. But Hannibal is different. Hannibal elevates violence into beauty, makes death into art. Will fears his own love for darkness, while Hannibal worships his without shame. That, more than anything, is what ensnares him. Not the mystery of Hannibal’s mind, but the freedom in it. The freedom to love the grotesque without fear or shame.
Will was always attuned to the Ripper. He spoke of him not with detachment, not as a scholar, but as a lover speaks of a distant beloved: admiring, mesmerized. When he discovered the Ripper was Hannibal, he recoiled, not out of moral horror, but out of personal shame. He had already loved him. He had already desired him. But to admit that desire, to acknowledge that the only man he ever trusted was the monster in the shadows, was too much. It was, as he would say, “too ugly a thought.”
He ran to Alana, to normalcy, to tradition, in a desperate attempt to convince himself he could belong in a world that did not smell of blood. But he could not. He never could. Because Hannibal was the only one who had ever made him feel anything at all. And when he finally understood that, he surrendered.
So what is Will’s heart? It is not like Hannibal’s. It does not overflow. It does not yearn to give. It is a void, an absence, a hunger. Will is the abyss waiting to consume love. As Hannibal connected in Dante's poem, mentioned in my previous essay. He does not love in the way others do, he reflects, he absorbs, he mirrors. He is nothing until he is filled. Like Maha Maya, the Grand Ilusion.
And Hannibal, with his boundless, inexhaustible love, is the only thing that can fill him. The only thing he will ever crave.
Is Will Graham capable of love? If love is something that binds, that consumes, that reshapes the self in the image of another, then he has never done anything but love Hannibal Lecter.
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caldera1000-7 · 12 days ago
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Continuation or more of a clean-up of my previous post, with less imagery.
One possible reason for Akutagawa's actions could be that he has come to see value in a life beyond his own. In Beast, we saw him attempting to teach those who killed his friends the value of life through killing them. However, in doing so, he lost his own way and failed to recognize that he never truly demonstrated the value of his sister’s life—or even his own—due to his recklessness. By the time he realized this, it was too late and took a lot of...well beast's drama to make him realize that, and ultimately the way he thinks and the psychology used in beast is one of the best portrayals of akutagawa as a character.
In the current timeline, of the mainline manga, to do with the above image, the answer may lie in the idea that, after everything, he has come to see value in Atsushi’s life: a life other than his own, someone similar yet fundamentally different—a true counterpart, the other side of the coin.
This could be seen as a way for Akutagawa to, in a sense, save himself or his past self. Unlike when he expressed being glad for Kyouka, this time, it is different. Here, his actions seem to reflect a profound shift, one where he acknowledges the importance of another’s survival beyond his own goals and desires.
Dazai himself stated that he knew why Akutagawa would save Atsushi. Throughout the series, it has been evident how much the two have grown from their dynamic and how their relationship has evolved. Beast provided further insight into how they might function even as friends. Their role as the successful Soukoku is something particularly compelling. Looking at previous partnerships—Mori and Fukuzawa, who stand in stark contrast and could never work together; Dazai and Chuuya, who were forced into collaboration despite their differences but remained reliable comrades when it counted—we see how these pairings reflect their respective dynamics. In contrast, Akutagawa and Atsushi embody the Yin-Yang balance. Their designs alone reinforce this contrast, illustrating how they either complement or challenge each other. While SSKK (Shin-Soukoku) may not be the best term for their unique balance, their development is undeniably profound.
From the very beginning, Akutagawa and Atsushi’s interactions have been charged with conflict, misunderstanding, and eventual growth. Akutagawa was shaped by Dazai’s ruthless mentorship, learning to equate strength with worth and mercilessness with survival. Atsushi, on the other hand, struggled with deep-seated self-loathing instilled by the orphanage director’s abuse, believing he was unworthy of love or existence. Their clashes stemmed from these core beliefs—Akutagawa saw Atsushi as a weakling unfit to be recognized by Dazai, while Atsushi saw Akutagawa as a monster incapable of redemption. However, their battles forced them to confront these misconceptions. Over time, they each began to understand that their value was not defined by Dazai’s recognition, nor by how they were treated in the past. Instead, their growth came from the challenges they faced together.
Many theories surround Akutagawa’s memory loss, but here, he is undeniably fulfilling the role of a protector—mirroring the ideals of Knight Akutagawa. Looking back, he has always had a protective streak, as seen with his deceased friends in the slums. Furthermore, Rashomon is not only an offensive ability but also a defensive one, reflecting his dual nature—capable of shielding both himself and others. This aligns with his evolution as a character, one who has always been a guardian in his own way, even if it wasn’t always apparent. Additionally, Rashomon’s adaptability is a direct parallel to Akutagawa himself; while he initially wielded it purely as a weapon of destruction, as it is shown to be, to devour everything in its way. But it also protects him with its shielding and defensive capabilities, and a knight both fights and defends for others - but besides that and making any connections there I would have to say, we all could already see his ability comes from - his coat, his clothes, his "protection" which he feels to vulnerable without (reason why he doesn't like baths.) And not to mention the moment where Dazai shot him 3 times for failing a mission and Rashomon automatically acted to defend him. His character is built on themes of survival, how the environment shaped him etc. afterall.
Akutagawa’s death had a significant impact on Atsushi, not just from a shipping perspective, but from a purely narrative and analytical standpoint. This moment is one of the most defining in the series. It also makes complete sense that Akutagawa would regain some—or even all—of his memories afterward. He had spent so long fixated on killing Atsushi, with their agreement hinging on his ability to refrain from taking lives for six months before their ultimate confrontation. This duel, if it still occurs, could parallel their fight in Beast in a meaningful way.
This act of self-sacrifice marks a crucial turning point for Akutagawa. His life had been centered on pursuing his wants, achieving his goals—many of which were rooted in selfishness. This mirrors Atsushi in some ways, especially since they both do an action (killing/getting stronger or saving lives) to give their life meaning or for feeling accepted into the world, which are both endless paths which they both need self-growth on to get to a better point (also I believe akutagawa could be going the Odasaku route which I am excited for but lets not get too into that.)
However, for the first time, this was an entirely selfless act. He wasn’t seeking personal validation or a step toward his own ambitions; he was protecting someone. Not just someone, but someone he had deemed worthy of being saved. Someone who deserved to live because he had finally come to understand, at least somewhat after this, the value of others’ lives truly, instead of from a survival kind of "the weak die, die and make way for others" which he grew up with not just in the mafia but in the slums too where it was said his lungs would burn and the people "above" would "look down" on them but never truly acknowledge their existence, its sad to think even after Dazai found him he never really showed akutagawa that he acknowledges his strength or how far he has gone really, but this itself has many theories and arguments over reasons and potentially the plot moving forward with their characters and Dazai's reasonings. Anyways, this is why Akutagawa "woke up" when Atsushi sacrificed himself, repeating the same words Akutagawa once did. It was a moment of profound narrative symmetry, one that encapsulates Akutagawa’s arc.
A notable mention here is 55 Minutes, which further supports the idea of Akutagawa’s memory resilience. Despite dying in flames, after time was reversed, he retained memories of events that theoretically never happened. He remembered the exact time of the disaster and even made a point to check on Higuchi around that same time. This suggests that certain experiences impact him so deeply that they imprint on his consciousness, even when they logically shouldn’t. A similar phenomenon can be observed with Vampire Akutagawa. Despite being under vampiric control, he retained fragments of his consciousness—spared Aya, responded to Atsushi’s words, and, most significantly, kept his promise. Vampirism should have rendered him a mindless tool, yet even then, his core principles remained intact.
This aligns with a recurring theme in Akutagawa’s character: his defiance against being controlled. He has always been a "dog" to the Mafia, yet one that could never be fully tamed. His ability to retain memories and emotions, even under extreme circumstances, reinforces his complexity as a character. This trait plays a pivotal role in his development, ultimately shaping his choices and his final, selfless decision to protect Atsushi. And of course, all of this ties back to Dazai…
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Ahem, his eyes. Besides being glorious and magnificent, I've been thinking and spoke to a friend recently on this. It seems his eyes only turn white when he is scared, vulnerable, or determined in the right direction (when he said "understood" to bram there was a light in his eyes.) And we all know Harukawa's genius and interesting way of making eyes go from dark to light showing their development or a change in their views too. The darkness showing how "tainted" they are or "dark" themselves. To which Kyouka used to have dark eyes that turned light (actually kind of grey) and Dazai's is still black. Akutagawa's has also been black/dark a lot of the time, and usually when he is shocked we see his dark/black eyes shrink in surprise unlike this moment where we see the light in it and his pupil for once. So its an important moment, especially since this is where he iss regaining some if not all of his memories. Although we still need clearance on what happened to him which would be shown in the next chapters after the whole S03 4D universe lore is done dropping completely, or possibly after the Amenogozen battle. Thats all for now from The Akutagawa Fan, Charkoala, Caldera whichever name or title works.
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crguang · 1 month ago
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607. I MISS YOU.
" And I found photographs of our school, on the day we met I thought that you were so beautiful, it was love, I guess."
VIOLINIST AU MASTERLIST
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It's here!! The official lore-filled post for the Violinist AU that my wonderful anons, @shalomniscient's godly input and I have concocted over the past three months. This masterlist will serve as guidelines for the AU so that newcomers and current enjoyers (me included lol) can easily refer to it and see if any burning questions have already been answered or not. Speaking of, every anon questions and rambles can currently be found under the #violinist au tag. Things will inevitably be added as time goes by, so I'll do my best to update this post when they do. Let's get into it! ♫
SOME BASICS!
SUMMARY ♫
╰┈➤ Kafka and Reader are classical musicians and childhood best friends who have been playing together since their respective instructors discovered their potential and made them work together on a piece at just 8 years old. At the time, they are both young prodigies in the making who share a dream of becoming the best in their field. They navigate the carefreeness of childhood, heavy expectations, close friendships and tumultuous high school years hand in hand. As they grow, so does their music. The two are intrinsically tangled up; where there is one, you can surely find the other. One day, when they're around 16 years old, R moves away. Their last bus ride together is a memory Kafka holds close to her heart and she remembers it viscerally whenever comes the time to bring an especially complex composition to life. This musical prowess eventually becomes the source of her recognition and success.
After R moves away, Kafka loses herself in her ambitions and Elio's strict teaching. He continues to groom her into the perfect musician and has little regard for her self-destructive behavior if the results surpass his expectations. She isolates herself from her friends, practices until her fingers ache, and spends a long time exteriorizing her feelings of abandonment through her music. She’s snarky, irritable and mean. She grows up to play the violin professionally and is recognized as a prodigy in that world. She goes through pianist accompaniment after pianist accompaniment, always looking for the “missing key” to her art that’s disappeared alongside R, but it remains unattainable.
R grows up insecure due to Elio’s hurtful favouritism towards Kafka; they never feel skilled enough to keep up with her, strong enough to shoulder their instructor’s expectations for them and thus worthy of Kafka’s attention and respect. When they move, they stop playing the piano for a while. Even they pick it back up eventually, it’s never in a professional context. While KFR have different relationships with music, since they’ve learned it as a duo, they understand each other’s art like no one else. R now makes records of songs covers that they’ve only recently started selling due to their popularity among the locals. It’s a hobby, not a career.
PRESENTING... KFR ♫
╰┈➤ KAFKA
We all know her, we all adore her, forever a superstar... Kafka's as close to HSR's canon as I could make her. Since this is an AU, there are obviously backstory/character traits that I've added to further flesh her out but the base of her character remains the same. Classical music is her life and she's played professionally as soon as she could; praised and admired almost all of her life (by her instructor and her fellows), she's a goddess with the violin. She's playful, confident with the skills to back it up, and guards her true feelings behind easy smiles only the ones closest to her can pick apart.
Some Kafka facts:
She's most definitely a media sweetheart. Her practiced elegance and distinct fashion style make her look very Cool, and it's an image she's carefully built brick by brick!
She lives in a condo with minimalist design, so it looks pretty empty despite her collections of records, musical instruments and mini libraries filled with books, music sheets and the likes. You can find an intricate, pretty vase in almost every room.
Outside of music, she doesn't do commitment. She sucks at it, hates feeling "hindered" and is often preoccupied by someone something else anyway. Hookups and FWB are more her style. She’s had like one serious relationship up until the present time.
As a teen, she was pretty rebellious. Though rigorous when it comes to the violin, she was never above skipping a day or two of class to have some fun and almost always dragged R along whether they thought it was a good idea or not. As an adult, she still enjoys the thrill but is much more calculated due to being under the spotlight most days.
She’s always heard humming! Though singing’s not her thing, she’s constantly humming her favourite orchestras, pieces she’s currently learning or just songs that she likes.
Heavy smoker, especially when she’s feeling some type of way.
She has no living relatives.
She harbours some repressed anger that she’s never fully healed from until the present time. That explains a lot of her defense mechanisms and current guarded behaviour.
She wears her sunglasses when she wants to hide.
Her closest relationships are: Blade, Acheron and Black Swan.
She meets Blade sometime after college and offers him a job as her personal driver. He understands her needs implicitly and she deciphers his moods just as easily. He’s the one who takes care of her when she drinks too much or needs to clear her head with a long drive. Sometimes, shared silence is enough. Kafka and Acheswan have been friends since high school and have stayed friends throughout adulthood. The three of them grew closer right after R moved away.
╰┈➤ Reader
Because this is still an x reader AU, they don’t have a specific appearance. All of their specificities lie in their character. R is an excellent pianist despite their traitorous mind convincing them otherwise, they genuinely have a passion for the piano and classical music as a whole so they’re very knowledgeable when it comes to it. They currently work at a record store alongside Serval and make music for themselves that others happen to enjoy. They’re an overthinker and tend to diminish the place they take up in people’s lives but they’re also very sweet, reserved and thoughtful.
Some R facts:
They’re a terrible liar. It’ll show on their face whenever they’re bothered by something, or they’ll have little tells like fidgeting or avoiding eye contact.
Funnily enough, they were the most direct one out of the two as teens. R had no issue calling Kafka beautiful on concert night or holding her hand unprompted as they walked to the bus stop. While she hid behind shitty humour and sarcasm, they were more open in their affection. It’s a little more complicated in the present time, as they have to relearn each other with their respective baggage.
Elio's berating is the reason why R starts hiding things from Kafka and their other friends. As a teen they keep more secrets from her than she thinks, it's something she'll come to realize in the present time.
R moves away for a couple of reasons; their parents consider moving due to having to take care of chronically ill relatives but that decision isn't cemented until R tells them that they're okay with it. By the time they make this decision they've let their dwindling passion for the piano, years of Elio's expectations and their own insecurities take up so much space in their mind that they simply don't believe they're needed anymore. They couldn't do it anymore, look at Kafka and be reminded of how insignificant they were. They don't inform her simply out of cowardice. At 16 they were going through so much that they just believed leaving was for the best.
They have a little sister! She's 14 years younger than they are, so she was 2 when their family moved away. In the present time she's 14!
R sings! Not professionally or anything, but their singing voice is (one of) someone's favourite sounds.
They live in the one bedroom apartment right above the record store. It's cozy and seems packed at first glance, complete opposite from Kafka's home. There are music sheets and drawings from when their sister was younger on the fridge, pictures framed on the walls, old posters of bands they still love in their bedroom, etc.
Their closest relations are: Serval, Acheron and Swan
Serval and R met at the record store, where she already worked at before they were employed there. R is often invited to her band's performances, and they grew close from working together so often (outside of the owner, they're the only two employees in the store.) They're here for each other as they both go through these ridiculous homoromantic situationships... Acheswan are high school friends and once KFR reconnects, so do R and our fav purple ladies. They're closest to Acheron.
TIMELINE ♫
╰┈➤ KFR are the same age and meet at 8 years old. They grow together under the same instructor, Elio. They go to the same school and don't live that far off from each other, only one bus ride away.
At 14 years old, in high school, KFR befriend Acheron and Black Swan who have just started dating. They're high school sweethearts!
At 16 years old, the Bus Breakup happens and R moves away. Kafka's left to finish the rest of the school year with Acheswan and throws herself into her music/goals to cope with R's sudden absence.
Kafka starts to get recognition in the classical music world in college, but more so in the years that follow. At 23, she's already pretty known as a violinist prodigy. Also the year she meets Bladie!
Around a decade after they last saw each other, at 28 years old, KFR meets again in the vintage record store R works at. When I say "present time" I'm referring to their first meeting and on.
KFR officially get together about a year later, at 29 years old.
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SOME FUN STUFF!
DRABBLES
╰┈➤ I've written a few short drabbles for specific moments of KFR's lives together that particularly spoke to me. I intend to write more whenever I feel inspired, and you're all welcome to pitch in as well !
🎼 Bus Breakup
🎼 Record Store Shitshow
🎼 Random KFR drabble
HEADCANONS ♫
(more like fun facts since I decide what's canon...)
╰┈➤ These aren't in chronological order because that would take me an insane amount of time to figure out. As always, if anyone wants me to elaborate on any of these they can always send me an ask :)
R has natural perfect pitch while Kafka's worked hard to hone hers. In the present time, she’s much better than they are due to playing consistently and professionally.
Kafka picked up smoking in college to alleviate her stress. Very bad habit that she can’t seem to stop.
Kafka has tattoos! I don’t care, she at least has a spine tattoo. Her and R probably get matching ones at some point, much smaller though. I’m thinking particular music notes.
R eventually comes to own the record store they work at.
Kafka’s very close with R’s family. They hang out without R often. Their sister loves her and they've had a few spa days.
R’s dog tag is from a grandparent that passed away. It’s sort of a way for them to remember to keep their loved ones close. I can see Kaf gifting them one with a date engraved on the back.
Kafka’s tried her hand at composition but the one she’s been working on and off on for years is still unfinished.
Once KFR gets together, they're always touching in some way. One of them toying with the other's fingers is a common occurrence.
R still has the drawing their 8 year old self made with Kafka somewhere in their teenage bedroom. They've also held on some specific annotated music sheets/partitions that they've worked on with Kafka when they were in the school orchestra.
Kafka and Serval have a funny relationship; Serval loves to get on Kafka's nerves because she's a rich snob and Kafka's always a fan of getting even. The passive aggressiveness between them is off the charts, but they can also be found giggling together when drunk. They'll deny it wholeheartedly.
R and Himeko are friends! They go to the same coffee place almost every day and see each other often but work in very different fields.
Serval and Cocolia have something weird going on. They've been friends who kiss sometimes since college and now they have different career paths that add some distance between them but they still want each other but Cocolia tends to prioritize her work and Serval feels she doesn't care as much anymore and--- it's complicated. Bronya doesn't exist at this point in the AU, but she likely will in the future.
R's followed some of Kafka's success on social media for a few years before they met again. Kafka has a little fanbase!
R sells their personal collection of the records they make at the store. When Kafka gets wind of it, she makes sure to have a copy of each (mostly by having Blade buy them from people’s hands…) and keeps the records at home. That’s before they get together.
R plays the piano for Kafka for the time the morning after they sleep together hehehe.
R confesses to Kafka about Elio's mistreatment after Swan convinces them to. I would say it’s the biggest chance Kafka has to make them understand that she wants them at her side.
Swan was the pretty but kinda weird girl in high school who was very into palm reading and tarot cards. Acheron was probably on the track team or something. Super sweet but reserved.
Kafka and Acheswan see each other pretty often. They have brunch.
Acheron studied philosophy in college.
Acheron mostly taught Kafka how to do her makeup as teens.
Swan has always been able to see through Kafka's bullshit and defense mechanisms.
When they were in high school, R’s house was the designated hang out spot for the 4 of them. At school they had classroom 311B which was often vacant so they hung out there most of the time.
KFR's confession happens in R's teenage bedroom after a family dinner. Sev and I already have the whole thing planned out...
Their bus number, 607, means “I miss you” in pager code! I thought I was being clever when I chose it lol. It’s kind of the official title me thinks.
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CONTRIBUTIONS!
╰┈➤ KFR PLAYLIST MADE BY @blinkinn <3
Very grateful and giddy about this one because I still can’t believe my brainrot has inspired someone to make a playlist out of it. It’s full of angst, as it should be, so I’m very happy. I’m still adding on songs that make me think of them and have some instrumentals/violin sonatas that I need to add as well, and I'm always taking anon suggestions for songs y'all think would fit them <3
╰┈➤ KFR PINTEREST BOARD
This pinterest board is unfinished but is essentially meant to be a progression of KFR’s childhood to adulthood. It was supposed to start off representing childhood carefreeness and nostalgia then progresses into their angsty teenage years, their separate lives, all to come back to the time they meet again well into adulthood. However, the board is structured from most recent to older years, so the oldest memories are at the bottom.
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Thank you to all my anons and Sev for brainrotting with me, this AU is getting kind of big now and I’m really happy about it. I’ll add more info to this post periodically, I think about it often and I’ve likely forgotten some stuff that has been mentioned to me before so it’s a work in progress!!! Hope more people enjoy what we’ve all made together <3
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bijoutarot · 2 months ago
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Your Next Twin Flame Connection ✨
Pick an Image ✨
🌟 Ready to uncover the magic of your next twin flame connection? The cards have spoken, and the universe is sending you a clear message! This reading will guide you toward what’s ahead in your twin flame journey. Let’s explore what energies are coming your way. 💫
🔮 Reading Image 1: The Lovers 🔮
Soul-Aligned Union
The Lovers card is a powerful symbol of unity, deep connection, and choice. When it comes to your next twin flame, this will be a relationship that feels destined. From the moment you meet, you’ll sense an undeniable pull, as though you’ve known each other for lifetimes. This connection will challenge you to look inward and embrace your authentic self, but it will also offer profound love and mutual respect. The path to union may involve important choices—will you let fear or trust guide you? Expect passion, but also emotional and spiritual growth. 💖
✨ Message: You and your twin flame are two halves of a greater whole, coming together to create something powerful. Trust the bond, and let it unfold naturally.
🔮 Reading Image 2: The Tower 🔮
Sudden Change and Awakening
The Tower is a card of disruption, but it’s also a catalyst for transformation. When it comes to your twin flame, this connection will not be like any other. It might arrive when you least expect it, shaking up your life in ways that feel uncomfortable at first. But don’t be afraid—this upheaval is exactly what you need. It’s clearing away old beliefs, toxic patterns, and any illusions you’ve held about love, allowing you both to rebuild from a place of truth. The rawness and intensity of this connection will force both of you to confront deep fears, but in doing so, you’ll reach a deeper level of intimacy and understanding. ⚡
✨ Message: Trust the process, even if it seems chaotic at first. Sometimes destruction is necessary for growth. Your twin flame will be the one who helps you tear down walls to make space for true love.
🔮 Reading Image 3: The High Priestess 🔮
Intuition and Mystical Connection
The High Priestess is the guardian of intuition, secrets, and divine wisdom. When you meet your twin flame, this connection will be deeply intuitive, as though you’re both reading each other’s souls. You may feel an instant recognition—a sense of déjà vu, as if you’ve known them forever. The relationship will not always be obvious, and there may be periods of silence or mystery where you must rely on your inner knowing. There’s a sense of sacredness to this union, one that can’t always be explained logically. Trust what you feel in your heart, even if the external world doesn’t yet reflect it. 🌙
✨ Message: Listen to your intuition—it will guide you through the mysteries of this connection. Your twin flame will bring a sense of magic and spiritual depth into your life.
🔮 Reading Image 4: The Star 🔮
Hope, Healing, and Renewal
The Star is a card of hope, healing, and divine guidance. This card suggests that your twin flame connection will be a source of incredible emotional healing. When you meet them, you’ll feel as though a weight has been lifted from your soul. Both of you will bring light to each other’s darkness, healing old wounds and helping one another rediscover hope. This union is not just about romance—it’s about spiritual renewal, opening your hearts to the possibility of a new beginning. The Star promises that this connection will inspire you to be your best self and encourage you both to dream big and follow your soul’s true path. ✨
✨ Message: This connection is a gift from the universe. It’s about renewal, healing, and the power of unconditional love. You’ll feel like a better version of yourself, simply by being in each other’s presence.
🌙 Final Message:
Your next twin flame connection is here to awaken you, challenge you, and help you heal. While it may not always be smooth, it will be deeply transformative. Trust the journey, trust the love, and most importantly—trust yourself. 💫
💌 Share your thoughts below! Does this reading resonate with you? What part of your twin flame journey are you currently experiencing? ✨🌙
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taleeater · 11 months ago
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Fragile Part 7
Sorry for the wait! It was hard to focus while writing this chapter, so I might be editing it for mistakes here and there. I hope you like it! :] <3
Generation: Bayverse TMNT
Tmnt x Reader Fanfic
Pronouns: Gender Neutral (except ‘dudette’, 'miss', and ‘princess’)
Warnings: injury, broken limbs, violence, drowning, not proof read
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
You were laying dazed on the cold metal floor. In too much pain to focus on anything else besides breathing. You heard a commotion, voices muffled through the thick glass. At least inside this tube they couldn’t touch you anymore. Your mind strayed to the turtles. You weren’t able to save them. You weren’t able to do anything. You just hope they can somehow get away safely. That April and Casey can somehow save them.
“I won’t ask again…. Where’s (y/n).” Leo growled. He grit his teeth as he lowered his stance, ready to strike.
Baxter Stockman was quickly typing commands into the program on his computer. Karai stepped in front of him and drew her katana.
“Out of your reach, Turtles.” 
“Aaaaand, there!” Stockman hit one last key on this computer and a red light started to flash on the tank, bringing the turtle’s attention to the crumpled form inside the glass. At the same time a multitude of files and programs started closing on the screen one after another, Stockman’s signature digital self-destruct program. Baxter stepped away from his computer and lifted his arms up triumphantly.
The sound of rattling pipes overhead catches your attention. 
“Ha! You’re too late, Turtles. For years, the Foot Clan has sought out the means to fight you mutants on equal footing. And now, we have our secret weapon! An endless supply of pure mutagen!!!” 
You heard a loud beeping sound, then a click, and the squeak of metal.
A gush of icy water pours down on you from above. The sudden cold shocks you and marginally distracts you from the pain. You pull yourself to the edge of the glass away from the heavy stream of water coming down from above, slowly starting to fill the base. You take a shaky deep breath and bang a fist on the glass. No use. Dizzy and numb, you look outside the tank for someone, something, anything that might help you. That’s when you see them.
And with dawning horror, they see you.
“Guys….?” You press your wet hand up against the glass. They’re here! They’re safe!!!
“(Y/n)....? (Y/N)!!!!” Leo shouts and lunges towards the tank. He tries to rush up to the glass but Rocksteady blocks his path. There’s blood on your cheek, and even a good distance away he can tell you’re in bad shape. 
“OUT OF OUR WAY!” Raph roared at Bebop and Rocksteady, crossing his sai in preparation for a fight.
“Uuuh hey guys? Why is (y/n) in a giant fish bowl…?” Mikey asked, nunchucks at the ready.
“They ain’t comin’ out anytime soon, short stack.” Bebop said with an evil grin. 
“You turtles totally fell for our trap!” Rocksteady chuckled.
Donnie immediately noticed the computer hooked up to the tank’s controls. He tried to subtly sneak past Bebop to get to Stockman but Karai stepped forward and blocked his path.
Karai pointed her sword at Donnie. “The Foot will be unstoppable.”
“And I will FINALLY get the recognition I deserve, for single-handedly creating an entire race of superhumans that will rule over the city!!!” 
“You’re crazy!! You don’t even know what kind of side effects that mutation will have on regular humans!” Donnie activated the electricity at the end of his bo staff, ready to fight Karai to get to Stockman. 
“I do have to thank you turtles for activating their mutant gene. Without your help, none of this would be possible!” Stockman’s laugh echoed through the large room. He waltz over to the canister filling up with the distilled mutagen from your blood. “We originally got (y/n) by a…. foreseeable mistake. But to our surprise, they survived where others had failed. And yet- their results were incomplete. Their animal DNA wasn’t materializing no matter what we did to them. So we came back to New York, where the population could supply us with countless more test subjects.” Baxter said cheerfully, popping the lid off the canister. “But now that we have the results we wanted, we have no need of them! We can preserve (y/n)’s body in a special chemical compound that will put them into a permanent hibernation. No need to worry, their body will be harnessed for science!” Stockman’s laugh was deep and evil, and to everyone’s shock-
He dumped the canister of mutagen over his own head.
Karai lept back out of the trajectory of the splash. Baxter’s laugh increased in volume as he began to morph and change. His head and eyes grew large, his body shrank, little papery wings sprouted from his back, and he mutated into a giant mutant fly. 
Bebop and Rocksteady were stunned by the transformation. “Eeeeewwww… he turned into a bug?” Bebop whined.
“Nasty!” Rocksteady shook his head. Neither of them were paying attention to the turtles so Raph and Donnie covered for Leo and Mikey to make a break for the tank you were in. By now it had filled enough that you were starting to float.
“We’re here babe! We’re gonna get you out!” Mikey reassured you. 
You whimpered helplessly. You were having a hard time keeping your head above water, not really able to swim with a broken dislocated arm and broken ankle. 
“Stay back!” Leo sliced at the glass, and Mikey hit it with his nunchucks as hard as he could, but their attacks barely left a scratch!
“Guys! We have incoming!” Donnie yelled as Stockman had started flying around the room, maniacally laughing as he swooped down and kicked the back of Mikey’s shell, almost knocking him over. 
“Dude, gross!” Mikey protested. Stockman looked to be drooling some kind of acid substance from his mouth.
Bebop and Rocksteady had recovered and started to charge towards them. Leo and Mikey had to jump away from your tank to avoid getting trampled. 
“Donnie, that glass is as hard as steel!!” Leo jumped up and kicked Rocksteady across his cheek, then retreated.
“What’re we gonna do? (Y/n)’s tank is already half full!” Raph shouted. He was using his sai to hold back Bebop’s tusks as he tried to charge them. 
You were doing your best to calm your breathing enough that you could float, but every time your head ducked below water you panicked. Your body was exhausted and protested against your desperate movements, but you needed to survive long enough for the boys to break you out.
“Donnie! See if you can turn off the water!!! I’ve got Karai.” Leo ordered
“Mikey! It’s you and me!” Raph called over, clanging his sai together and shouted a war cry running up to strike Rocksteady. 
“What?! What about the bug brained dude??!! Eep!” Mikey ducked as Stockman flew over his head. He looked down and realized he was kneeling at the feet of Bebop, who had taken the black taser out of his pocket.
“You wanna taste too, little man?” 
When Bebop flicked on the taser, Mikey saw the small stains of fresh blood on the pointed tips that buzzed with electricity. He looked back over to you struggling in the tank and how heavily injured you looked.
He saw red.
Mikey had a rare moment of true anger as he jumped to his feet and knocked the taser out of Bebop’s hand with his nunchucks, and in a flurry of rapid hits he beat back the warthog. He finished him off with a powerful roundhouse kick to the head.
“THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR MESSING WITH MY BAE!” He shouted triumphantly.
Raph looked back to Mikey with wide eyes, proud of his little bro for letting loose. “Woah. Way to go Mikey!” He ducked a hit from Rocksteady and punched him hard under his chin. Knocking him out cold. 
Leo was crossing swords with Karai. She was a skilled fighter. But he was much stronger than her. While he pushed her back with a heavy strike, she slipped on some of the mutagen that had spilled on the floor, allowing Leo to take advantage of the opening and disarmed her. He flicked her sword out of her hand and knocked her back. She glared daggers at him, quickly recovering. But seeing as Bebop and Rocksteady were knocked out, she opted for a tactical retreat.
“This is just the beginning.” She hissed and ran out of the lab door. 
Stockman was buzzing around your tank, still laughing maniacally. 
“You turtlezzzzz cannot defeat the mighty Dr Stockman!! I am invincible!! I am-“
Donnie turned on the taser at the end of his bo staff and vaulted it at the annoying human insect, striking him and electrocuting him, knocking him out of the air to fall on the floor with a gross splat.
“Good thing I always carry a bug zapper.” He deadpanned.
Donnie went back to trying to hack into Stockmans computer. He managed to get past the firewall with his hacking program, but he discovered that all of the interfaces connected to the tank control had been erased. 
There was no way to stop the tank from filling up completely. Donnie would have to write a whole new interface from scratch to control the tank.
There was no time.
You were running out of air, trying desperately to keep your head above water as the tank was almost full to the top. You took in one last deep breath just as the water consumed the last of the space. You held your good hand over your mouth and nose hard, trying to hold in the air, and floated down towards the bottom of the tank. 
No more air.
“(Y/N)!!!” 
“ANGEL CAKES!!!” Donnie and Mikey yelled out in panic.
Your eyes snapped open, hearing their muffled voices outside the tank. You swam over to the glass and met eyes with Raphael. He had picked a spot and began punching at the glass over and over again with his sai in his fists.
The needled jabs just managed to scratch the surface. 
You looked at him sadly through the glass. He was stressed, sweating and desperate to break through. Mikey had grabbed a chair and had chucked it at the glass from another spot but it just bounced off and broke on the floor.
Leo was standing behind Donnie with his hand on his shoulder, but his eyes didn’t leave your face. 
Time was running out. You were choking on the stale air in your lungs. Head getting dizzy from lack of oxygen. You removed your hand from your mouth and pressed it up to the glass, some bubbles of air escaping your mouth. Your eyebrows knit together to concentrate on not breathing in the fluid in the tank. But you were suffocating and in pain. 
It was hard.
You looked back up at Raph, and forced a smile on your face. You felt sad. You didn’t want them to see you like this. They felt so far away. 
Darkness was consuming your vision. The last remaining bubbles of air escaped from your mouth and your eyes slipped closed. 
“NO!!! NO-! (Y/N), STAY WITH US.” Raph pounded his fist hard against the glass. 
“DAMN IT.” Donnie frustratingly slammed his fist down next to the keyboard, his head falling into his hands. None of the lines of command coding he was typing in were working.
Leo left Donnie’s side and strode up to the tank.
“Move.” Leo ordered as he came up behind Raph. He unsheathed his swords and began slicing at the glass again. It was barely making a scratch. But combined with the small dents Raph had been making, he was slowly chipping away at the surface.
“Leo! If you can manage to cut 1.2 centimeters deep, it should weaken the glass enough to shatter with enough force!” Donnie yelled from where he was still furiously typing into the stationed keyboard. His attempts to unlock the system all in vain. 
Leo and Raph worked together to stab and slice at the weakest point in the glass until finally-
*crack*
A small fracture appeared in the glass. 
“There!!” Donnie called out. Raph and Leo switched to charging at the glass and ramming it full force with their shoulders. Over and over as the cracks grew wider and wider.
Mikey came over, and with a hand on Leo’s shoulder, the leader stepped aside to let his little brother help. Mikey joined Raph and rammed the glass again with such force the crack split all the way across the glass. One more strike-
The glass shattered on impact.
The gush of water that burst through swept Mikey and Raph off their feet. The floor of the lab flooded, and your body washed up on the floor. Lifeless and unmoving.
“(Y/N)!!!!!!” The boys all yelled. 
Leo reached you first, falling into a kneel at your side. He ripped out the two needles from your back and held you in his arms. Donnie rushed over and slid down into the other spot at your side, his goggles pulled into place as he quickly checked you over.
“They’re not breathing. Put them down flat, now.” Leo obeyed and laid you on your back. Donnie first pressed down on your diaphragm to check for water blocking your lungs, then began compressions. 
The room was dead quiet all except for the sounds of Donnie’s whispered counting as he pressed down on your chest. He paused, opened your mouth, pinched your nose, and breathed into your lungs. 
Mikey was nervously walking around you back and forth, and Raph watched you from a distance, a vacant expression as he watched your face for any sign of movement, pleading with himself for you to be okay. 
After what felt like an eternity, you coughed. Leo quickly rolled you lay on your side. You spit up water, gasping for air. You felt like you were coughing up a lung full of ethanol. 
Mikey cheered and Raph took a deep breath, covering his face with his hands. Donnie fell backwards onto his butt and pulled his goggles off his head, so incredibly relieved you were breathing. Leo rubbed your back comfortingly as you got your breathing back under control.
Once you got a suitable amount of oxygen back in your lungs, you whimpered. Your throat was burning and a pain in your stomach and chest made it hard to breathe.
Leo picked you up again, and held you close to his chest. Your eyes fluttered open and you winced at the bright light from the ceiling.
“Welcome back.” Leo said with a smile on his face.
“Leo…?” Your voice was quiet and scratchy. You looked around at Donnie, Mikey, and Raph that all came into view around you and Leo.
“Guys….?” You felt barely conscious. Head foggy and tired like you were still under water.
“We’re right here.” Donnie assured you, reaching down to pick up your good hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
All the fear and emotion of drowning and being captured suddenly crashed down on you all at once. You sniffed and big tears gathered in your eyes.
“I was… so scared… I thought I was going to lose you….!” You hiccuped and sobbed as Leo held your trembling form tightly against his chest.
“Shhhh, it’s okay. I’m here. We got you.” Leo soothed, rubbing his hand down your back. He buried his nose into your damp hair and held you tight.
“You had us worried there for a minute!” Donnie was smiling at you, soft and relieved. Mikey was standing behind him rubbing tears out of his eyes.
“Let’s get you home.” Raph said, kneeling down behind you. 
“Wait. I need to splint their arm and their ankle first. Mikey, can you find me some-“
*crack*
“Will this work?” 
Mikey had already broken off the thin legs of a chair across the room. 
“Yeah that works fine.” He pulled out two rolls of gauze from one of the pockets on his belt, and took the offered sticks from Mikey, who knelt down by your feet. 
“What’re we gonna do about him?” He asked, motioning over to Stockman’s twitching form across the room.
The brothers all sneered at the fly mutant with similar levels of disgust on their faces, finding him rather gross. You smiled.
“Just leave him there, we can worry about him another time.” Leo offered, adjusting you in his grip. You winced terribly when your arm was moved. 
“….Is ...your arm dislocated?” Leo asked you, holding you upright in a sitting position, now thoroughly checking you over. 
Donnie and Mikey were working together to splint your ankle, Mikey holding up your foot while Donnie wrapped the splint to it.
“Let me see that.” Raph placed his hands on your shoulder and you clenched your teeth and whined quietly at the sharp pain.
“Leo, hold them still for a minute.” 
“Just hold onto me tightly, it’ll be over in a second.” Leo hugged you close, wrapping an arm around your good side.
Raph got hold of your tender arm, and with practiced ease, popped your shoulder back into place. You cried out loudly and buried your face in Leo’s shoulder, taking deep breaths. 
Raph tried to rub the soreness out of your poor shoulder. “Good job, princess. Now let Donnie get a look at that break.”
You hesitantly detached yourself from Leo, your shaking red and swollen arm was carefully picked up by Donnie, who set the splint and carefully wrapped the bandages.
“I’ll be able to get a better look at it with the x-ray machine back at home. For now we just have to be really careful not to jostle them too much when carrying them back.”
“I got em.” Raph volunteered. Leo looked to Raph, wordlessly nodding his head for his brother to take you from his arms.
“Careful of their arm….”
“Got it.” 
Without much effort, Raph scooped you up in his big arms. You winced as a sharp stabbing pain radiated through your stomach as you were held close to Raph’s chest.
Something was definitely wrong.
“I’m sorry, princess. It’s just until we get you home.” Raph apologized. Leo led everyone quickly out of the lab. 
Once back out in the hallway you had entered from, you noticed with visible shock the literal sea of bodies that covered the floor. Foot ninja. They fought through all of them, just to get to you.
Everyone exited the lab, careful to stick to the shadows as the sun began to rise. As the turtles made their way for their home, your stomach burned worse and worse with a white hot pain that radiated through your body. The movement of the city passing you by made you become dizzy, and your head felt like it was spinning. You felt nauseous and incredibly tired. 
“Hey Raph….?”
“Yeah princess?”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you guys…. You had to save me instead….” You weren’t making any sense. Raph could barely hear you as the wind whipped past his head. You just felt so tired.
“Hey, stay with me, princess. We’re almost there. It’s okay.” Raph didn’t know what the right thing to say was. But your eyes were starting to slide closed.
“Can we…. Can we watch Princess Bride again…. When we get home….?”
Raph smiled at that.
“Yeah. We’ll watch it as many times as you want, short stack.” He didn’t care if his brothers teased him for secretly liking the girly movie. He didn’t care if he had to watch it with you a hundred times. He just wanted you to get better.
“We’re almost there. How you holding up?” 
Silence. 
“(Y/n)…?”
“Mmh?” 
Your eyes were closed.
“Come on, wake up, we’re almost there.”
He was desperate. 
“Mm…hm…” 
You hummed, but your eyelids felt too heavy to lift. You felt yourself sinking into a dark liquid abyss. You could no longer fight the pull.
“(Y/n)….. (y/n)? Hey…! Hey, no no no no no, you gotta stay awake. Come on princess…! (Y/N)!!!”
You felt Raph try to shake you awake, felt his muscles tense as he pushed himself to go faster. 
“We’re almost there, hold on…!”
“Hold on….”
Darkness overtook you.
Part 8
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metamorphesque · 6 months ago
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ASALA: Armenian Secret Army for the Liberation of Armenia (part 1)
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In 1915, ottoman turkey committed the Genocide of Armenians: more than 1.5 million Armenians were massacred.
Women were assaulted, raped, sexually mutilated and tortured. Many were killed by bayoneting or died from prolonged sexual abuse. The “lucky ones” managed to kill themselves, while others were sold as slaves, forced to work as prostitutes or into marriage by their perpetrators. An eyewitness testified, "It was a very common thing for them to rape our girls in our presence. Very often they violated eight or ten year old girls, and as a consequence many would be unable to walk, and were shot."
The men were usually separated from the rest of “the deportees” during the first few days and executed, but, of course, not before being tortured and mutilated. Some were crucified, beheaded, others were often drowned by being tied together back-to-back before being thrown in the water. So many bodies floated down the Tigris and Euphrates that they sometimes blocked the rivers and needed to be cleared with explosives. Other rotting corpses became stuck to the riverbanks, and still others traveled as far as the Persian Gulf.
In 1918, the young turk regime took the war into the Caucasus, where approximately 1,800,000 Armenians lived under Russian dominion. Ottoman forces advancing through East Armenia and Azerbaijan here too engaged in systematic massacres. The expulsions and massacres carried by the nationalist turks between 1920 and 1922 added tens of thousands of more victims. By 1923 the entire landmass of Asia Minor and historic West Armenia had been expunged of its Armenian population. The destruction of the Armenian communities in this part of the world was total.
And yet, despite all of this—the unimaginable horrors that plagued the Armenian nation in the early 20th century—what do you think the world did in response? After this descent into hell, after the suffering, the bloodshed, the total annihilation—what followed? Silence. Deafening, shameful silence, as always.
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Silence—until it was shattered 58 years later, when, at the age of 78, having exhausted every peaceful avenue to draw the world’s attention to the Armenian Question and faced with nothing but ignorance, Gourgen Yanikyan fired 13 bullets at the Turkish consul and vice-consul. This singular act of defiance wiped 58 years of dust from the forgotten pages of Armenian history, forcing the world to confront the cause once again.By sacrificing his freedom, Yanikyan ignited a movement. His act became the catalyst for a wave of Armenian activism, inspiring the creation of ASALA, who would go on to fight for the recognition of the genocide.
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In 1975, a group of Lebanese-Armenians led by Iraqi-Armenian Hakob Hakobyan, all of whose parents and/or grandparents were survivors of the genocide, inspired by Yanikyan’s self-sacrifice, decided to found an underground organization, which through armed actions will again bring the Armenian Question into the international political and legal dimension, present the recognition of the Armenian Genocide carried out by the turks in 1914-1923 by the international community, and create prerequisites for the liberation of Western Armenia. The organization was called ASALA - Armenian Secret Army for the Liberation of Armenia.
The military operations of the ASALA were mainly aimed at turkish embassies, consulates, diplomats, government officials, military and police institutions, the turkish business environment, especially the offices of "turkish airlines corporation", as well as the state and public structures of other countries, which showed financial or military support to the turkish state.
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Now, why am I telling you about this today? Well, today - on September 24th marks the 43rd anniversary of the Van Operation (24/09/1981), carried out by 4 Armenian ASALA soldiers - Vazgen Sislyan, Hakob Julfayan, Gevorg Gyuzelyan and Aram Basmajyan. On this day in 1981, four Armenian youths, aged 20-24, armed with pistols, automatic rifles and explosives, seized the turkish consulate in Paris, holding it under their control for 15 hours.
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4 Soldiers of The Van Operation taking off their masks
The trial of “VAN” turned into a trial of the turkish government. The “VAN” operation and the political trial that followed it played a major role in bringing the Armenian issue to the international political arena, globalizing the territorial claim and the violated rights of the Armenian people, creating a new wave of condemnation of the reality of the Armenian genocide, strengthening the pride and spirit of struggle among Armenians.
When all the hope has slipped away, It’s the mad who find a way.
Though violence is condemned, it is the cruel truth that it is the only language to which the world listens.
More about the Van Operation in the second part.
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