#self-harm mention in tags

[valtsv]

this quote about cordyceps from this article in a scientific magazine is basically how i've always imagined possession to work in horror stories. the demon/entity/whatever doesn't alter your perception, displace you, or control your mind, they just take over all your bodily processes, bypassing your brain entirely. they force your mouth and vocal cords to form the words they want you to say, force your limbs to move in the direction they want you to go, and force your lungs to keep expanding and contracting and your heart to keep beating, even through excruciating pain and horrific injury, so you can't even self-sabotage and your friends and loved ones are discouraged from trying to stop you for fear of what harm they might cause you to do to yourself to escape. you're a passenger in the driver's seat of your own car, and the hands on the wheel, though outwardly apparently the same pair you've always had, are no longer your own.

[st-dionysus]

Note from an angry trans man.

Of course, I’m angry. Who wouldn’t be. Dead children, dead teachers, a trans man to blame and the world ready to blame every single one of us instead of a single person -- instead of mental illness -- instead of guns -- instead of all the horrors that surround us. Eager to blame our HRT, our transitioning, our existence. Trans sisters who should be standing up against the abuse and shame put on their brothers – who instead decide to reject us, to blame us for anti-trans legislation, to group us all with Aiden Hale. To further stigmatize testosterone and trans-manhood. To act as though we are the harbinger of doom.

Of course, I’m angry. Dead trans people fill the news and wiki articles. Trans men among the corpses, but we don’t say their names. The bodies of FTM children left on the road, genitals mutilated, and newspapers printed with the wrong name and pronouns. Misgendered in death. Misgendered in rape, assault, and murder statistics. Misgendered in the publication of his horrific crime.

Of course, I’m angry. One of my brothers killed six people – three children and three adults. “Police then killed 28-year-old shooter Audrey Aiden Hale, who investigators said left behind a manifesto and detailed maps about how to carry out the attack. Law enforcement officials have not shared details about a suspected motive.”

Of course, I’m angry. The Nashville shooting was the 128th US mass shooting this year. There were 127 other mass shootings this year (and it’s only the end of March), most of which we did not talk about, most of which we did not address. More than 348,000 students have experienced gun violence at school since Columbine. There has been 89 school shooting incidents in the USA so far in 2023.

I want to rip something apart with my hands. I want to scream. I want to bleed. There is rage in my body, and it’s locked away behind tears and prayers. I consider cutting for the first time in over a year. I think about drinking myself to death or blowing my brains out in protest, but I don’t want to leave my cat alone, I don’t want my friends to cry about me, or to leave my lover heart-broken. I don’t want to be another dead trans man. I don’t want to be another name on the list of FTMs that have killed themselves. I’m already a part of the 50% of the FTM population who has tried at least once, I don’t want to try again. More than that, I don’t want my deadname to be the name I die with. I don't want to be seen as a dead woman.

I watch people die every day. I fear the deaths of my grade-school siblings. I fear the death of my loved ones. I fear walking into a gay bar and being carried out in a body bag.

Of course, I’m angry. It must be the testosterone.

[tlirswriting]

Martian: 

adj. Belonging or relating to the planet or people of Mars 

> In the year 2280, a young man stands in front of his bathroom mirror and runs a hand through his hair, interspersed with delicate tendrils, glowing faintly blue at the tips. 

> He hesitates for a moment, scissors in hand, before grabbing a section of hair and chopping it off, white-hot pain shooting down his spine. Unclenching his fist, he drops a chunk of dark hair in his sink, along with a few writhing sensory organs similar to catfish whiskers. Biting his tongue, he repeats the process around his head, shaking and nauseous by the time it's done. He opens his eyes, and he looks mostly Human. 

> His name is Atlas, and he is dying. 

> Atlas struggles against the artificial gravity to step into the shower without his joint braces on, grabbing onto a thick metal bar to steady himself and sinking down to a small plastic stool. The water sputters on, rinsing the blood dripping from his scalp. 

Welcome to life on Mars

[circlesuponcircles]

What was death like, Loop?

✨️: I can't BELIEVE I'd miss dying! But times change, I suppose~

[luimagines]

IM LATE IM LATE IM SO LATE OH MYGOD anyways Divorce hcs with the links?? :3

Sure. Let's cry today. And naturally this has to come from you since this was your idea. :)

Masterlist

Content under the cut!

Hyrule

Easily takes it the worse out of everyone.

Like hello? He tried so hard to not only work up the courage to get past his insecurities, but to also allow himself the privilege vulnerability in a world that's actively hunting him down

AND ACCEPT THEIR LOVE IN RETURN!?!?!

That would have been years in the making

And then to have it ripped away from him??

To be on cloud nine than have the rug pulled form under him?

You think it's not going to go bad? that he's not going to be depressed?

That he's not going to rethink everything that led up to that point?

How bad are you willing to bet that it's going to get? Because I'm thinking potential self harm in whatever manner it may be- for better or for worse- since he no longer cares about what happens to him

If the entire world wasn't hanging by the threat of his blood being spilled, he probably wouldn't have survived that kind of hit, you know?

Not to mention that he's probably going to be able to look at you for a long time afterwards.

Every time he does he's reminded that despite his best efforts and every humble thing he had to offer you, it wasn't enough.

Hyrule: Is doing his best to make things work

You: Yeah, it's not working

If he was trying to save a sinking ship by throwing out all the water with a bucket, why didn't you say something earlier?

Or maybe you did but clearly things just weren't the same.

But after a while, his doubts and insecurities rear their ugly head

You knew... you knew that it wouldn't be the easy life, living with him. You knew. He told you. He laid everything on the table for you since the beginning.

Why did you agree then?

Why couldn't you have simply turned him down to begin with?

It would have hurt. But he would have been past the hurt by this point.

He would have already healed

He spent so long invested in this to make sure you wouldn't regret choosing him

And he's here anyway.

Not that he's ever going to say this out loud.

He's aware enough that you're allowed to live your life as you please at the end of the day- more so if you want to leave him

But why???

Why waste time like this? Why hurt him like this?

He dwells on this for a long time and it's going to take him a long time to feel ok again

It's best to cut it cold turkey then and leave him alone.

Warrior

What... what do you mean?

Weren't you doing ok?

He thought you were both ok.

You came to him, telling him that his job took too much time from him.

Warrior gets whip lash.

He knew it was demanding but he was trying his best to spend as much with you as possible.

If he wasn't working he was with you

You had talked about cutting back to save more so he could retire earlier.

This job was a temporary circumstance

He was almost there

Warrior would try to get you to talk about it but if you weren't having it... what could he do?

He doesn't want this.

It took him so much to open up to anyone

He thought you were different. You didn't go after him for his title or power or connections.

He just didn't think those would be the things that would be your breaking point.

Warrior thought that it was that you liked him for him.

Now you're telling him he wasn't good enough?

He begs, no, pleads you to reconsider.

He doesn't want to lose you.

He starts getting insecure and begins to question everything.

When did this start? Was it something he did? Was it something he didn't do? Why didn't you talk to him? Did you even truly love him? Why didn't you want to make it work?

He could have met you halfway.

Is there someone else?

That's a question that cuts him to his core.

If you truly decide to leave him and go on your merry way, Warrior throws himself further into his work.

His retirement plans were for your benefit. He's still young. He doesn't have family. He has no one depending or expecting anything from him.

He has no other home to return to.

Warrior will stay in the Queen's court then.

He will also stay out of relationships from that point on.

If another comes along then it will take a lot of persistence on their part to get through to him.

Four

His entire body freezes up

But he thought-

He could have sworn-

Sure, your relationship wasn't perfect but he was happy with it.

He was doing everything he could to make things work.

He thought that it was working.

What do you mean you want other things?

What do you mean this wasn't what you thought you wanted?

Why are you doing this?

Why bring this up?

No.

No. He doesn't want this.

Where did you think you could go with this?

Give him a reason.

Give him a single solid reason for this divorce.

He doesn't want to lose you-

But really... even if he doesn't agree with your reason, is that all the more reason to let you go?

Were you just looking for a reason to leave this entire time?

Do you think you could just cut him off? Just like that? After thing you went through together?

Have you been talking to someone and he didn't know it?

He gets angry.

He's heartbroken.

Was this an easy decision to come to? How long have you been thinking about this?

He goes to work, throwing all his frustrations onto the anvil.

Four wears himself out quickly.

After weeks of letting the process go through he finally comes home to an empty house.

He looks around his house for the first time since you mentioned it.

All of your stuff is gone.

He sits by the couch- feeling too tired to process any emotion he may be feeling.

Until he cries himself to sleep.

Sky

His reality crashes, much like the plate he was in the middle of washing.

He's sorry...but what?

Maybe he misheard you... somehow

"What did you say?"

You repeat yourself and say that you're going to leave him.

"....Ok but.... why?"

His brain shuts up and he's no longer thinking.

Goes along with it

Because what else he supposed to do.

Is this even something he can fight? Should he fight?

You brought it up. Is this something you want? Probably.

He loves you. He wants you to be happy. Would this make you happy?

He promised to do everything in his power to make you happy. He promised to support you through thick and thin, even at the cost of his own happiness.

He vowed that on your wedding day.

Sky tries to get your side of the story.

He tries to see what he did wrong.

If there was something you wanted out of him that he wasn't giving you, then he wants to know.

If there was something that he did too much of, he wants to know.

If there was a moment where you realized he was different than what you thought he was, well... he wants to know that too.

He cries every night.

You moved out early, not wanting to see him at his lowest so you could go through with the decision.

It's not that you hated him... but you weren't going to change your mind about this.

He knows that he was supposed to help with the surface settlement stay sturdy and strong, but he really just wants to be with his loft wing right now.

But what if you also went back to Skyloft?

Sky isn't sure he can handle seeing you again without breaking down into bitter sobs.

Even if you decided to stay on the surface, even if it was to get away from him, he not so sure he would be able to handle that either.

Granted, the surface is much larger than Skyloft would have ever hoped to be- but he would much rather you choose the direction and he'll go the opposite way.

News travels fast about your divorce.

There's only so many people for it to go to and everyone knows everyone any way.

Sky isn't so sure that he likes that about his people anymore.

Twilight

Sits you down and wants you to write it down

He wants you to write everything wrong with him and what was wrong with the relationship

He wants you to add as many details as you can think of

Twilight then proceeds to read the entire list out loud.

To your face.

Do the reasons make sense?

Do you stand by what you said?

Is it things that you're willing to work on to make it work?

No?

You're not going to let him make the necessary changes to even try?

He takes a deep breath but lets you go.

Fine. Leave then.

He already has some abandonment problems but he likes to think he's grown over them at this point.

Not that he has- but he handles it better than most would think.

He cries for months because he misses you but he's never been one to stay in one place or remain idle for very long anyway.

There's always something to do around the farm and the village.

And to be honest, the fact that he stays busy makes it easier to dull the pain little by little everyday.

Arguably takes the less time to heal since he actually has a support system near him.

His village family help him a lot and also help him to stay busy and distracted.

They don't want to give him a moment where he has the opportunity to miss you.

Not to say that it's a perfect system, but they want Twilight to know that they're always by his side even if things didn't work out in the end.

That being said. They no longer like you.

They'll be civil to your face and when Twilight is around but you hurt Twilight and hurt him deeply. They won't forgive that easily.

Twilight knows this but he's not about to tell them to leave you alone in that regard.

It really... really hurt and he's not exactly interested in keeping any kind of relationship in the beginning.

He'll never speak bad about you but he can never look at you the same way again after this.

Never stops caring about you though.

Twilight can't even bring himself to be mad about it.

It just hurts.

Still lives on peacefully though, just without by his side.

Wind (aged up)

Guess who's going straight into the ocean!!

Well- he sorta does.

He doesn't walk straight into it, but like a lot of other Links he's going to do his best to distract himself.

Not that it works all that much.

He leaves his cabana and gets back in his boat, just ready to spend who knows how much time along at sea.

It's worrying to the islanders.

He just left and hasn't come back yet!! Did something happen to him?

Wind is trying his hardest to find comfort in the familiar

But the lack of your presence is really highlighted with his time at sea.

There's just energy inside of him that urges him to do something reckless- to live recklessly.

But he's not a child anymore- and well... actually...

Who's going to miss him?

Aryll for sure, but she's a big girl now. He knows she can watch after herself.

There's Tetra and her crew but he hasn't seen them in a while and contact was few and far in-between to begin with.

The time at sea has him thinking dangerous thoughts.

And he fantasizes about worlds perhaps he shouldn't venture to.

If When he comes home- he actually goes back to Outset- not his cabana.

At first it was to see how everyone was doing after his time away.

He wanted closure- to see everyone for potentially the last time and leave things on a nice note.

He's finds the familiar he's looking for.

He's strengthen by his nostalgia and the love that was stripped away from him.

Wind stays there for months, building himself back together without you by his side.

It's not easy.

His sister and her family are a life line he didn't know he needed.

He tries not to feel jealous though.

He quite meet the pirates yet or they'll tempt him to join them back at sea...

Back to the thoughts and the blank pages...

The drinks.

Wind writes to them though and tells them to save his spot for the time being.

When he feels better.

Legend

HO BOY HERE WE GO

This guy- destroyed

I'm talking gives up on life kind of deal

He no longer cares

Do you hear me?

Warrior and Hyrule react badly but this guy is right on their heels

Someone is going to have to check in on his constantly

And I mean constantly

If someone doesn't, he's not going to get up from bed.

Meaning- he won't clean, he won't eat, he won't drink water

He's done- he is done with life.

The one time he had happiness- and stability- and genuine care from another person turned out to be a total lie.

Did you do this on purpose?

This is worse.

He hopes he's dreaming. He hopes that every time he goes to sleep, he's going to wake up and it would have all been just one messed up, scary and heart wrenching nightmare.

But he's tired.

He's tired of losing people.

He's tired of fighting, of heartache, of needing to prove himself

He thought he didn't have to do any of that with you- but he still fell short?

Tell him you're playing from messed up prank on him.

Tell him you're not going to do it.

Tell him it's not real.

Tell him he's dreaming.

Please.

Please.

Don't-...

Don't go.

He's sorry.

He's not sure what went wrong but he can fix it! He swears it.

Legend may not survive otherwise.

Time

Record scratch TM

Is this it then?

....Every meeting does have its parting after all.

Just... Just why?

You both promised until death do you part.

Time does not take his promises lightly. And he does not make them often.

Time feels long forgotten bitterness bubble up from inside him.

Alright- go then.

Don't come back.

He leaves before you can begin to move out despite what he told you.

He's never needed much. He's fine and content with a satchel and the clothes on his back.

That's what he tells himself anyway.

His inner child wishes to return to the forest but he knows that he's grown too large and too old- the magic would never allow him to enter into the comforts of his once peaceful childhood.

He can no longer make Epona run as she used to. She is an old mare now- but she's still his loyal companion, taking him far from the home you both once shared.

Granted, he plans to return... at some point.

He'll give you a week or two to leave before he returns.

He hopes you've taken everything you've needed because he packs up the things he plans on keeping before getting rid of everything.

And I mean- everything.

You wanted to part ways? Fine.

He'll burn that bridge.

Forget it.

Forget everything!

He'll start over. With less, but with himself and his horse and the little things that he needs.

It's not like his life had known peace to begin with- this is just one more disappointment to add to his list of life's backstabbing betrayals.

Forget romance- he never should have tried.

He never should have let you in.

This is his own doing- he fooled himself into thinking things were ok.

That this was something he could have.

A little voice tells him that Twilight still needs to come from somewhere...

But there are ways to pass on his legacy... or maybe he was wrong?

Wild

Oh dear

He thought he knew what it was to have loved and lost

This is different

This is completely than what he thought he knew

This... is worse.

You're leaving him

Because.... because why?

Everything was fine.

He.... he was good in the end, right? He did his job and saved the day and wanted to live a peaceful life

But he's not losing you to some accident or some unforeseen circumstance.

If anything, you're leaving him... out of a want.... to have nothing to do with him anymore.

Was he not enough?

Insecurity rears its ugly head and faces him head on.

He wasn't enough to take down the calamity when he should have, he wasn't enough to save his friends when he should have, he wasn't enough to get the master sword when he should have-

Are you just another person he's disappointed in his life?

Wild takes a while to come to terms with this.

A long while.

Long enough where you might have moved on by then and found someone else.

Surely it's nothing personal, right?

Oh goodness- when you find someone new- yikes

Someone ought to make sure that Wild gets out into the sunlight every now and then and that he's actually eating something as well

He completely shuts down.

He stays in his house- not willing to go on any adventures... or go anywhere in general

It would take a while for people (other than Zelda, I think) to even notice that he's suddenly a shut in.

Considering he was hardly home to begin with- going from place, to place, to place- and then moving between places so he wouldn't be in one place for very long- it would take a while for Sidon, Yunobo, Riju, Teba, Purah, Paya, Robbie- anyone to figure out that "hey, Link hasn't been here a while."

Zelda would have to be the one to either help Wild or get reinforcements so that Wild would stay active.

It would be completely up to Reader if they try to help him or not.

They would probably have the best success in getting Wild to take care of himself- but it could also very well make it worse when they leave again.

It's almost like they've died.

Except they're very much alive and Wild's not so sure what would have been worse.

[fav-444]

@NA AND $H FRIENDS WHEREEE

[mettywiththenotes]

Smthg smthg Jinx stapling her leg, Viktor carving runes into his

[0pt1m1st1c-4n0r3x1c]

I am 200 days clean from SH, and I've never felt worse. Now I know how much it's an addiction. It's all I think about, I plan when I could, when I can't I just don't know, I miss it so much.

[catoperated]

At some point we’re gonna have to talk about how toxic websites like 4chan and Something Awful (rest in piss, Lowtax) influenced trans spaces online.

I only ever used SA back in the day, and it’s now mostly forgotten that “troon” came from a portmanteau of “trans goon” (goon being a member of something awful, not like a gooner… but, eh, it’s still apt), though it was always meant to be belittling.

And then there I was, a transmasc egg surrounded by transfemmes. I didn’t know how to express that I wanted what they had but different, cause I seriously didn’t know trans men existed back then. All I saw were transfemmes, and most of them were transmedicalists. I got called a transphobe when I said wearing a skirt shouldn’t be a required part of transitioning. I have since met many cool trans ladies who aren’t truscum, but the scars remain.

At the time I couldn’t fully articulate how uncomfortable I was with the idea of transitioning to the same old binary, because I also didn’t know GNC was a thing. So for a time I was suicidal because I had no idea of the options open to me. I’m not sure that reading Theory back then would have helped. Having read Theory now (both feminist and communist), I’ve come to the conclusion people lean on it way too much, take it way too literally, never considering that the things proposed have to be adapted to changing times and circumstances. It’s almost like evangelicals interpreting the Bible literally—to everyone’s detriment.

My point being, you can read anything, watch any YouTuber, but for fuck’s sake form your own opinions instead of just throwing books and videos at people like it’ll explain everything and also must be followed to the letter. It won’t, and it shouldn’t.

Yeah, I was also briefly suicidal over leftists dogpiling disability activists for daring to get groceries delivered or using plastic straws. Only other disabled people probably remember this, but it was perpetuated by that butter cat account, which was the most surreal fucking thing to watch unfold.

I’m just tired. Tired of self-proclaimed feminists failing to recognize the patriarchy is what makes us all suffer, including cis men, and that’s the real enemy. I know radfems are largely to blame for pushing the “all men bad” narrative again with the express purpose of dividing trans people, I’ve seen them cackling about what they get away with on accounts where they pretend to be trans. It’s sad people are making their work so easy for them.

I don’t hate or resent transwomen (I can’t remember if the space is preferred or not, but I’m sitting here sweating over it, afraid someone will call out my language when “troon” is already up there), but here I am right back at that awful feeling I had when trying to say skirts should not equal femininity. Fuck, I would probably be suicidal again if not for my partner, who is the best thing to ever happen in my life (love you, babe).

I don’t know how to word this better or more succinctly. My mind wanders a lot when writing. But it’s not just me, right? I see the schism forming and it’s bad for all of us, because the people who want us dead do not care how we present ourselves or how well we pass. We desperately need to support and uplift each other if we’re going to survive all the shit they keep throwing at us all in governments across the entire goddamn world.

So yeah, we need to look at how those websites poisoned the well, as it’s where that mentality of “if you’re not queer/trans in the proper way I deserve to call you a slur” mentality comes from. The pickme urge to go “I’m not like those cringe fags/trannies, I’m one of the cool ones,” too. To reiterate, the people who want us dead for existing do not care one way or the other.

Fuck, why am I worrying about how I word this? If people are gonna interpret this in bad faith there’s nothing I can do to stop them. I just wanted to get this off my zipper-tits—which I’m stealing from you fuckers who use it against transmascs. I got my dirty testosterone fingers all over it and it’s ruined now, sorry.

[dykedvonte]

Mini rant below and in the tags, the only time I’ll talk about this and my personal take on it.

The way people talk about hypothetical male Anya on Twitter and the idea of how Mouthwashing would play out if the genders were swapped makes me remember how people still don’t take sexual assault and rape with male victims with the same gravity, especially when the perpetrator is female.

[finny-0w0]

Bedrotting and being on Tumblr and twt all the time iz my favorite hobby :3

[mikodrawnnarratives]

I'm soooo interested in the possibilities for Post Loops Siffrin since theres a ton to explore in how they and his family deal with the aftermath of All That

First off, bumps in the road to getting healthier since progress isn't linear. Siffrin trying but sometimes failing to keep in mind the lessons he learned.

Having so many loops doing the same thing over and over, I love the idea of him sometimes falling back into habits of making a script for themself to follow daily when things get too samey. Like certain times of the day go by so similarly that they zone out from time to time, even unintentionally

It would take his family members to realize when he falls into habits like these, and taking efforts to minimize their ability to do that without reminders. Like, small things like making sure to change things up everyday in a certain amount so following a Script isn't as simple to categorize things happening around him as You've Seen This Before

I really hope Siffrin starts journaling at some point Post Loops cuz honestly, if they don't got a therapist (i don't even know how any therapist could tackle that enbie's issues) and they don't talk about the things that happened in the loops, I'd hope they at least have one way to get it out in a healthy manner. I'd imagine they wouldn't want to forget more of the loops, even tho they were traumatic, seeing as Forgetting is so distressing to em. I also can't imagine anyone would be okay with forgetting that kind of experience after it consumes so much of ur life.

And I also like to think about how Siffrin handles not dying so frequently. Like, them using the dagger after a certain point feels good to them, they've gotten used to it. Imagine how chilling that must be to deal with as he recovers. Going between "oh i miss that relief" to "why do i miss that relief oh stars i don't want to leave my family :((" and on some bad days im sure he'd struggle with suicidal ideation, and those issues probably would make any self harming habits just. ohh so much worse given they might turn to that for relief if their family members don't keep good enough eye on their access to sharp objects when vulnerable. Now that i think about it, it would be really endearing to see their family helping them find alternatives, like drawing on themself or rubberband methods, whenever possible

How his family approaches it in general is also has a lot of goodies in terms of possibilities. I really like fics when Siff is really nervous to accept help but still gets it in the end. Like he struggles but in the end his family is still there. oohh I especially love Odile and Siff fics they are so endearing to me

I need to find more fics that focus on Siff when he's dealing with other factors of not being in the loops anymore too! Like changing out of his clothes he's had to have for xyz amount of loops! Dealing with food, anything from struggling with bananas and not liking his favorite food anymore to remembering how much he STARVED during the loops and getting underlying worry about it happening again. They still eat their food quickly, even if they feel content. Having irrational worries about "what if it happens again and i don't have enough food what if I starve again"

Hopefully this would be something he could talk about with his family and it would be SO quickly followed up by Bonnie exclaiming that they'll cook all the food they want for him if that happens. Never going hungry again on their watch! And if Siff gets any hoarding issues in this scenario, ✨snack cabinets!✨

oohh def snack cabinets or in general stashes would be so sweet, ones that they can access at any point. Their family does their best to keep it stocked to ease their worries

And there are a ton of other scenarios that would address how the loops fucked him up, followed by family members finding out + helping

I also need to find more fics where they are just cuddling too. Cuddles, helping Sick Siff, stuff where Siff is shy to accept help but god the others will make SURE he rests accordingly!

[trillscienceofficer]

I've been crediting the way Chakotay dismisses B'Elanna's vision in “Barge of the Dead” mostly to the events of “The Fight” and how Chakotay was (understandably) afraid of the barrage of images from the depths of his mind, and how this fed into the fears he has about his grandfather's condition and his own predisposition to it. As a result, he is more diffident about helping other people assigning meaning to their visions, not trusting himself as he used to any longer. After rewatching “Mortal Coil” though I think Chakotay is, also understandably, very wary of validating anyone's mystical experiences (or lack thereof) surrounding death, because one such experience very nearly brought Neelix to suicide and Chakotay almost didn't realize it in time. The way B'Elanna's talks about her own vision can't not recall what Neelix went through, in Chakotay's mind; B'Elanna almost died, and now she feels like she needs to die again. Add to this the history B'Elanna has with self-harm and unnecessary risk-taking behavior from “Extreme Risk”, a history that Chakotay knows all too well, and his mind is made up. He cannot allow this to happen on his watch, especially not to B'Elanna, so he dismisses her recollection of the vision, he downplays it even if it comes across as him not accepting B'Elanna's culturally-informed perspective on her own experiences. In short, I think a mix of fear and guilt is what makes Chakotay unable to appreciate the difference between Neelix' nihilism and his loss of purpose and B'Elanna's longing for meaning and closure through ritual.

I don't think the Voyager writers thought this through as much as I am here, mind you. They likely just had Chakotay play the 'voice of reason' because they couldn't have Janeway doing it, or the parallelism between B'Elanna finding peace with (the memory of) her mother and B'Elanna's acceptance of Janeway's trust would have collapsed, making the episode less incisive. (We can also talk about how yet again the show paints Janeway as a mother figure, in my opinion the lowest-hanging fruit possible, but I digress.) That it sort of contradicts Chakotay's pre-established characterization and background was likely not a big consideration, which is unfortunate. However if we don't take the 'reset button' for granted, this behavior from Chakotay can be taken a sign of the way he changed throughout the show, even it's sort of negative character development. He's more afraid, and more rigid in his understanding of others than at the beginning of the journey, especially when it comes to B'Elanna. The years of survival on Voyager have taken a toll on him. I obviously still think he was wrong to dismiss B'Elanna and that the show needed to handle that conversation between them with a lot more care for both characters, but keeping “Mortal Coil” and “Extreme Risk” in mind definitely helps with lessening the sting of a scene that otherwise seems to come out of nowhere.

[starboystation]

thinking abt ford

[fav-444]

I honestly hope my mom knows she's a reason of why I $h

[somethingoranother7]

i wish there were more realistic fucked up characters in podcasts. characters with eating disorders, characters who self harm (ie cutting, burning), characters who lose their cool when they get overstimulated, characters who can't get out of bed, characters who are paranoid and anxious about things that aren't there