#self sacrificial to a fault

[rhilumi]

I'm just saying: Tim had NEVER been able to let people die. He sees people dying and he just. Has To act no matter who they are or what's causing it.

"Not until I say you are" yeah jesus christ dude how many people have you forcefully dragged back from the dead.

[astralscrivener]

keith and lance are so ride or die for each other it's not even funny

[withthewindinherfootsteps]

Wei Wuxian and Narrative Agency – Part Three

For Xiantober Day Five: Past and Present, in which the author gets very unhinged about what parts of the past are shown and how that’s affected by the present!

(Part One | Part Two | Full version on AO3)

The Power of Agency: Shaping the Narrative

When I've discussed Wei Wuxian's agency previously, I’ve talked about how what’s shown and omitted tells us about a character, and we’ve talked about the character himself. Though this is a niche topic, it’s not necessarily something out of the ordinary to analyse, and we can assume everything up to here has been in some way intentional.

This? Linking structure to a character’s in-universe preferences?

This is where we get unhinged.

Before I start, let’s quickly establish something which will be important later: although Wei Wuxian is the central character, MDZS isn’t strictly from his POV. While omitting events a character doesn’t like to dwell on and concealing things the character wishes to hide is common in books with only one narrator, MDZS has multiple narrators which it switches between relatively quickly. This includes Wei Wuxian, but it also includes nearly every major character that appears in the story, and omniscient narrator as well. As a default, this format doesn’t lead to this deliberate shaping and omission because of one character’s preferences, since we have many other sources of information and events – which is what makes Wei Wuxian’s influence over the narrative and structure so interesting. We could have access to a lot more information, and access to it at different times, than we do (and that’s not an insult, quite the opposite!).

To begin: we’ve established that times such as Wei Wuxian’s time on the streets, his three months in the Burial Mounds and his loss in the Siege aren’t shown because Wei Wuxian has little agency there. But that’s not the only special thing about them. They’re also the three most traumatic times in his life, and so moments Wei Wuxian himself either can’t remember, or doesn’t like to dwell on.

This is why discussing Wei Wuxian’s treatment of tragedy in his life was important. Firstly, it shows he doesn’t focus on the tragedy in his life, so the idea that the narrative not focusing on this tragedy relates to his character has merit; secondly, it affirms that this is not a passive trait, but a choice. Therefore, when the narrative omits events due to this aspect of Wei Wuxian, it’s respecting not only a character detail – which would be cool by itself – but also an active decision. One that shapes the story it’s made in.

In other words, its very structure is respecting Wei Wuxian’s agency!

Now, of course there are flashbacks to other moments of his past he probably wouldn’t like to dwell on, too. But within the structure, they’re only shown when Wei Wuxian is thinking about them (or when he has reason to)!

Wei WuXian hadn’t woken up yet. His eyes were still tightly shut, yet his hand didn’t let go either. He seemed to be dreaming, muttering, “… Don’t… Don’t be angry…” Lan WangJi seemed somewhat surprised. His voice was gentle, “I am not angry.” Wei WuXian, “… Oh.” Hearing this, as though he finally felt assured, his fingers loosened. Lan WangJi sat beside Wei WuXian for a while. Seeing that he was motionless again, he was about to stand up when Wei WuXian grabbed him with his other hand, hugging his arm and refusing to let go. He shouted, “I���ll go with you, quick, take me back to your sect!” Chapter 63, EXR translation

Which, of course, is him dwelling on…

Lan WangJi spoke one word at a time, “Go back to Gusu with me.” Hearing this, both Wei WuXian and Jiang Cheng were surprised. Quickly afterward, Wei WuXian laughed, “Go back to Gusu with you? To the Cloud Recesses? Why go there?” He immediately seemed to realize, “Oh. I forgot. Your uncle Lan QiRen hates crooked people like me. You’re his proudest disciple, so of course you’re the same as him, haha. I refuse.” Chapter 62, EXR translation

…the painful flashback immediately preceding this. The third set of flashbacks (which are also painful) are a similar case. Look at the contex:

He lifted the bottom of his robe, revealing a prosthetic leg made of wood, “This leg of mine was destroyed by you, that night in the Nightless City (…)” (…) “Wei WuXian, I won’t ask you if you remember or not. Both of my parents died by your hands. You owe too many people. You definitely won’t remember them either. But, I, Fang MengChen, will never forget! And never forgive you!” (…) “In the fight at Qiongqi Path, my son was strangled to death by your dog Wen Ning!” “My shixiong died by poison, his entire body festering due to your cruel curse!” Chapter 68 (immediately preceding the flashbacks), EXR translation

And Wei Wuxian’s own thoughts and words:

Wei WuXian looked at the cultivators before the Demon-Slaughtering Cave. Their expressions were the absolute same as those of the cultivators from the night of the pledge conference, pouring their wine on the ground as they took the pledge to scatter the ashes of the Wen Sect’s remnants and him.  (…) Wei WuXian, “Now it’s time to ask just whom it is that treasures it so much. It’s like Wen Ning. Back then, some certain sects or so were scared to death of the Ghost General. They said they’d kill him on the surface, but behind their backs they hid him for over ten years. How strange. Who was the one that said his ashes had been scattered back then?” Chapter 79 (immediately succeeding the flashbacks), EXR translation 

Once again, Wei Wuxian’s own thoughts relate to the flashbacks we’ve just been shown. And, as I previously mentioned, though all the events which are shown are tragic, they’re also events which Wei Wuxian’s own choices and actions shaped – which he has this to say about:

“The things I did, not only do you remember them, I remember them too. You won’t forget them, and they’ll stay even longer in my mind!” Chapter 82, EXR

Admittedly, this applies more to the third set of flashbacks than the second (which is still fitting as the third set was the most recent), as in the second, although he still had agency within and influence over his circumstances, the majority of the pain was caused by others’ actions (excluding, of course, the Golden Core transfer… which is something we know stays for a long time in his mind, albeit with a caveat we’ll soon discuss). But it’s still important to note – especially considering that otherwise, focusing on this very painful time in his life wouldn’t seem like something very in-character for Wei Wuxian to do.

Of course, this can all just be explained by good writing. It is best to insert flashbacks when they’re relevant to the characters and events in the present day! But it is interesting to compare these to the start of the (not painful) Gusu flashbacks, which open this way:

At a later time, Wei WuXian pondered upon the reason why his relationship with Lan WangJi wasn’t good. Getting to the root of the matter, everything started when he was fifteen, coming to the GusuLan Sect with Jiang Cheng to study for three months. Chapter 13, EXR

Again, considering the circumstances around which these flashbacks take place – returning to the Cloud Recesses for the first time since the lectures, and meeting Lan Wangji once more – it makes complete sense for Wei Wuxian to be thinking about these events*. So it does fit the pattern of Wei Wuxian dwelling on something, thus leading to the narrative dwelling on it, too (and being shaped by his thoughts)… but there’s another layer to this. Importantly, it is the only flashback where Wei Wuxian’s present thoughts don’t lead to this happening, with his thoughts at an unspecified future time leading to it, instead. I like to interpret this as the text saying that, since these events aren’t something Wei Wuxian wouldn’t focus on in normal circumstances, he can dwell on them at any time. Therefore, they’re free to come up in the narrative at any time as well, even if he’s not dwelling on them in the present moment!

So, to summarise: Wei Wuxian’s decision not to focus on the painful times in his life directly influences the narrative to not focus on these times. When painful times are brought up and shown to us, it’s in the context of him thinking about them in the present day, and even then, his most painful moments still aren’t shown to us. His agency in this regard is still respected by the narrative structure.

This is the main way his agency influences the structure of the narrative, but I’d like to talk about the revealing and concealing of information, too. For example, I said I’d talk about the Golden Core transfer – though Wei Wuxian does think about this many times, as evidenced by his internal narration in Chapter 103. But unlike everything we’re shown through the flashbacks, this is something Wei Wuxian is actively trying to hide from others. And the narrative respects this choice (Wei Wuxian’s agency, again), never reveals it even when it would be relevant in the flashbacks, and we find out not through narration, but through a character’s dialogue!

And to clarify – I know these aspects may not be in the book for this exact reason. Showing flashbacks in relevant moments is good writing, concealing an important plot point you want to do a reveal for is necessary writing, and MXTX has said she didn’t want to write about Wei Wuxian’s time in the Burial Mounds, due to not liking to write transformation sequences (and also because it would not be pleasant at all, which likely also applies to Wei Wuxian’s death). That doesn’t prevent it from also being intentional – MXTX’s intelligence is shown in many aspects of this book, and there’s nothing disproving it – but there’s no proof for either option, so I won’t pretend there is. I bring this up because I know this feels like I’m overanalysing, as I feel that way as well.

But, whether it’s intentional or not, it exists in the text, and I adore it – so, regardless, it’s something I’ll explore. Because taking this into account… We aren't just told about Wei Wuxian having agency, we aren’t just shown it in the text, we aren’t even just shown it through which parts of his past are shown and hidden in the structure of the text (as I talked about in Part One). The parts of the past that are shown and hidden also have an in-universe reason for being shown and hidden, this reason being the choices he makes! Agency is the ability of a character to influence the story they’re in, but Wei Wuxian’s agency, as a property of a character who only exists in-universe, shapes the out-of-universe structure as well! That’s how we’re shown its importance! How cool is that?

At The End Of The Road: Summary and Final Thoughts

In this essay, we’ve covered how important Wei Wuxian’s agency is not only to the events of the plot, but to the structure of the narrative as well. The narrative omits periods in which Wei Wuxian has little or no agency, in favour of showing us periods in which he does, even when important events happened in the former. This indicates that who Wei Wuxian is without agency isn’t important enough to be shown to the audience, and therefore that his agency is an integral aspect of his character in MDZS. We’ve discussed how both in-universe and out-of-universe, tragedy does not define him – out-of-universe, the tragic events in Wei Wuxian’s life are used not to build sympathy but rather to show his strength of character and who he still is despite going through them; and in-universe, he chooses not to focus on the negativity and resentment caused by his circumstances or others’ actions, instead staying true to his moral compass and enjoying his life in the present day. Finally, we’ve also explored how this choice is another reason for the omission of certain events from the narrative, resulting in his agency shaping the story in a very literal way – it affects the out-of-universe structure, as well.

It’s quite fitting, for a story whose essence is about defying a conventional narrative – that of righteous clans rising up and defeating a great evil – and about a character who defies many conventional narratives on his own – that of status defining how skilled you could be, that for a golden core being necessary for cultivation and other paths being unavailable, that of a tragic but complete story of someone killed for staying true to their moral code (instead, that character returns to life and has a happy ending) – to have its own narrative play a role in such an important and interesting way.

(Or, if an image would be preferable:)

Thank you for reading!

(Part One | Part Two | Full version on AO3)

--

*This strong relation to the present day circumstances is another reason I love the flashback placement so much (and why I think it’s such a loss both screen adaptions altered it so strongly)! 

[nomsfaultau]

yeah besides having lived in survival mode his whole life, I think the main reason mandatory family reunion!techno isn’t suicidal by the end of chapter 9 despite his black depression is because the belief it’s impossible to escape Philza is so beaten into him by then that death doesn’t even register as an option.

[reanimatedgh0ul]

ok but thinking abt this scene in agit and how when danny sees the imminent danger that dan poses to jazz sam and tucker he immediately puts himself in harm's way in order to protect all of them

[plusultraetc]

Saw the tags on the Toshinori post and do you have more to share?? Any insights? If so I’d welcome hearing them 😭 He really is so self-sacrificial and it hurts but it’s truly at the core of who he is

This has been sitting in my inbox for almost a week because I needed to make a futile effort at organizing my thoughts into something coherent--but this is as organized as they're going to get for now! Thank you so so much for the ask though bc I do love to yell about MHA <3

(Obligatory reminder that I'm watching this show in such a confusing order so if what I'm about to rant about has been addressed before and I'm harping on it unnecessarily I Am Sorry.)

(For anyone curious, this is the post btw)

SO. It feels relevant to mention that my sister and I were talking about All Might in the first place because we were talking about MHA Moments That Haunt Us. For me, it's the 'I am not here' sign hanging around the neck of the All Might statue in Kamino Ward after the Paranormal Liberation War. It literally lives in my brain rent-free 24/7 365 days a year, especially with the AM vs AFO fight being relatively fresh in my mind. The reversal of All Might's catchphrase and all it represents hurts, but to display it at the site of his 'last stand' in Kamino? That's brutal.

All Might vs All For One and how that rematch plays out is so so important to the story for so many reasons, but one of them is that the fight itself is a sacrifice. Toshinori gives everything he has, short of his life, to defeat All For One. He gives up his physical strength, his public image as the unbeatable Symbol of Peace, and, effectively his Quirk ("Goodbye, All For One. Goodbye, One For All" haunts my every waking moment, still!)

This battle is also the culmination of years of All Might's life and heroic philosophy (because Toshinori has been both practicing AND preaching self-sacrifice in the name of the greater good since we met him. It's what he thinks a hero does). Kamino is the sacrifice to end all sacrifices, if you will. Yes, he does get to walk away from the fight with AFO, but he walks away irrevocably different, almost unrecognizable. He's forced to totally change his focus and his mindset and his life. Everything he has given up is made literally visible in the deterioration of his body.

But most most importantly, All Might's sacrifice at Kamino was... all for nothing. Even if AM defeated him in that moment, All For One is free less than a year later. The world is in shambles. People are afraid, and their faith in heroes is crumbling. Heroes are afraid, and this time, they have no idealized symbol to rally behind. When Dostoevsky wrote "Your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing," he was talking about All Might btw.

Toshinori gave this fight (and his career, and being All Might) everything he had, and it still wasn't enough. He sacrificed so much of himself, and so much of how he perceived himself and his purpose, and he didn't even save the world. He just bought them time--and not much of it. I think that's why he's so desperate to keep fighting, no matter the cost, no matter what condition he's in--even 'quite literally half-dead.' He can't let Kamino be the Symbol of Peace's final stand, because Kamino was ultimately for nothing. Instead of saving the world, it has been reframed through the sign on the statue as All Might abandoning the world. And ever since then, he's been scrambling to prove that he is still here.

(There's also probably something here about Sir Nighteye telling him that he was going to die. Since Nighteye used his Quirk on him, Toshinori has been anticipating sacrificing his life for good. Knowing that his entire hero career is effectively a fight to the death has probably maximized his self-sacrificial tendencies.)

[brionysea]

oh no! it's the consequences of your actions!

[durgewyll]

got my grubby little hands on the datamined dialogue trees and found a file for when you cast speak with dead on wyll's corpse

[astrummorte-m]

alt!

ex muses & hidden characters. still accepting.

♥ you ask clemency if he thinks it was worth it.

silence is the first thing that meets them. and then a confirmation, as he relays that kairos is happy these days, even if their birthday and their death-day makes him sad for a little while. 'he honors you,' clemency says. 'with everything he does, he honors you.'

♥ you tell him that you would come back if you could. ♥ you ask him if coming back would make kairos worse off.

he doesn't know the answer. he says as such.

♥ you laugh, and tell him that you're happy being an angel.

au frisk - undertale.

[petrichorium]

I’m in an exes to lovers moment rn I think

[soo-won]

Really i swear it doesn't make any sense to me like that's literally Suwon's coronation speech too. And his speech to Kija in the sei forts arc that everyone love. I don't get it. The gods are literally what is standing in their way right now. Fuck the power of the gods really! Yona validates everything people have always said. She also rejected it when they gave her Hiryuu's sword to kill Zeno and then she threw it away. She doesn't want that power and authority over her friends' life either. And yeah not gonna lie it's very easy to imagine that if Yona had accepted to stay, people would have criticized her for it too, like when back in the day she was blamed for accepting Keishuk's alliance.

But I sometimes observe it's a bit like people are convinced that anything that is said and done in the present means that nothing before matter for some reason. Like, if there weren't 45 volumes before of Yona very much doing all she can to help people in all kind of tragedies and disasters, I would be conflicted too, but I don't think she needs to prove her good will on this regard at this point. It's more than obvious to me that the second she could leave the chalice she would do everything to help people like before. It doesn't even need to be said, really. That's what she ALWAYS does. She said that she wants to think of ways to end war in chapter 239, and wanting to save her friends now doesn't change that. It coexists.

I wouldn't call accepting to make a new contract with the gods a reasonable solution in preventing wars anyways, like,,, wars have been happening even with their so called divine protection lol. It's true that Yona doesn't defend her decision in details like that, but these things can be infered from "even if Kouka is hell, it's still much better than a world of light with no one in it" really... She says this from experience. Even if she's been going through many painful things again and again, she still cherishes it far more than heavens. Things have been hard, but things have been resolved and turned for the best, too.

This hell/heavens metaphor has been used since the south kai arc. Meinyan says that in the depths of hell, she found the thing she yearned for her whole life. Chagol was also manipulating her, telling her to go back to Kai because Kouka is hell and only him will accept her. The final page of ch267 is even the exact same as when Chagol caught Meinyan in Kuuto! It's just. Everything is there. After all, Chagol was wrong, because Kuuto is still standing, and Kouka is not hell at all. It's not paradise either. It's just not black vs white / hell vs heavens. It's being isolated and kept prisoner by someone else abusing their power that is hell. It's the same.

Yona was never a self sacrificial character to begin with. She gives a lot to others, puts her entire body and soul even if that hurts her to help people sure, but it's never at the cost of her own life. She will give her limbs, but not her entire life. Wasn't her whole plan in the south kai arc where she pretends to be a hostage and let herself be executed by Chagol to actually turn the situation around about this already? She's not like that, she doesn't make herself the martyr. She will take blows for others but she will still fight to survive. Yona giving up on her own life(which staying in heavens as been equated to by ouryuu in the previous chapter) and happiness would be the out of character and upsetting thing to me. Yona doesn't submit and sacrifice herself, she fights and faces everything head on, that's exactly what makes her the hero of Akatsuki no Yona.

But right now, Yona is struggling. She doesn't have the upper hand in this situation unlike with Chagol before. Even when Keishuk threatened Hak's life in the castle arc, she had more leeway, the dynamic was more balanced, the dragons were enough as an argument to stop Keishuk. But it doesn't work here, the dragons can't win against the gods. She tried to negociate the dragons turning back to normal human, and even that didn't work, on top of them losing their limbs in gruesome ways, and they are stuck with her outside fo Zeno too... She can't fairly negociate anything because Yona has no power if they decide to just not respect their terms, which they haven't so far. Why on earth would she make a deal with the gods again after all this? The sky had turned dark and earthquakes started before she talked about leaving too. That would be the exact same as what she pointed out to Zeno in ch261 about him asking her to kill him because he's desperate, even if that's not what he wants.

And I suspect we're gonna see next how true all that is now that they use Hak against her. I'm not sure how she will react next to their irrational "contract" with Hak's life on the line, but either way, it's true hell, it's coercion, it's not what anyone but the gods wants. ( also honestly, if the gods had used the dragons' life instead of Hak, and not just their limbs, I'm sure Yona would have wavered too, it's just extra evil that it's Hak lol.) Yona is a bit in the same position as Meinyan was before, and that's why now she also needs outside help. She knows Suwon and Hak are looking for them outside, and she knows Zeno and ouryuu will be there too, so I'm not sure how much she will panic and how much she will be able to trust they can do something...but she did all she could here for now. It's Hak and Suwon's turn to act. Yona can't save the world and resolve everything alone and that's good storytelling. She needs a connection.

Basically the most important point imo is that Yona is in a position of weakness in front of the gods right now, so she can't just, take the right decision with them and get anything out of negociation with them? It doesn't exist, not with them. It would be like blaming Meinyan for staying with Chagol or not. Was she selfish when she escaped even if that meant killing Rantan, even if that meant letting Chagol abuse everyone around him and not shield Kaji like she did before for example? Maybe so, she escaped for herself, but there was nothing wrong in pursuing her own freedom and I'm glad she tried, and felt terrible for her when she gave up. When she submitted and returned to Chagol, it rejoiced no one. That's not what anyone wants. It shouldn't be like that at all. Staying with Chagol didn't stop him from hurting everyone else, and it's similar right now with the gods. I don't think they will just stop. They were already unfair and cruel before losing their powers and reason.

The best decision Yona could ever make is to not participate further with this gods/ divine bullshit and deal with things her own way like she always did so, good that she tried! I would even say that yes embracing her role as Hiryuu's reincarnation was doomed to fail and bring her to a place she can't turn back from to begin with. It was a bit reckless...I'm glad she tried, and it wasn't completely meaningless. But yeah... she needs to be freed from her own chains with the gods too, just like everyone else.

TLDR:

Chapter 267 ramble

I said this about Suwon last time but I think we should all read akayona with more emotions sometimes maybe. like, in general. for everyone. I don't want Yona to be Suwon and to only think of the greater good. I want Suwon and Yona to coexist, like they've been working on for a while now. I don't like the theory that Suwon will die to save Hak and/or Yona, I don't think it's good and I don't think it makes sense with what the story has been exploring and conveying so far, and I would feel the same if it was Yona or anyone instead of Suwon. Anyone sacrificing themselves to appease/please the gods would be the lamest conclusion ever. The story hasn't been subtle about challenging the notions that sacrifices, punishments and now contracts are necessary. Like,, no they're not. They need everyone here.

I was more sceptical when Yona didn't hesitate at all in chapter 257, but here I don't think it's an issue. Like first, we see her be affected and waver when the gods use the dragons' limbs against her. She recovers her composure because dragons are here and tell her to not worry about this. But more importantly, Yona has known hell, and it's there that she met people reaching out their hands to others in need again and again, and this is what inspired her to fight and bring help to those in need back. It's in hell she met her friends, her family and was moved by people's kindness again and again. She has no reason to be scared of what the gods are warning her about, she has known wars, she has known disasters. She will just stand against everything the future throw at her like she said in ch257. She loves the mess that is Kouka Kingdom and its people. I don't think there was anything better she could have done in her situation. She doesn't have the means and power to do anything but either submit to the gods or escape, she needs outside help. Yona is not responsible for the dragons losing their limbs, nor for Kouka's current state. The gods are the only ones being unreasonable and irrational here, you just can't win against something irrational like that, she can only leave.

Moreover, I don't want Yona to decide the terms of Kouka's future for everyone like a god, and the best way to do that is again to leave, not make any deal with the gods, and face everything on Earth as a human like she always did, which she's exactly what she's trying to do in ch267. Yona already said she's resolved to find ways to bring an end to wars, we've seen her participate to help out tribes and countries and people again and again. That's what she does. Relying on a contract with the gods (even though we have seen how damaging and harmful it is on the long run! again and again! and they're not reliable! Don't we all want the gods to just stop with their vows and contracts and prophecy and rules already?) is the easy, coward way out. Humans don't need the powers of the gods. They don't need divine protection. They have accomplished everything by fighting as they are. Yona was helped by the gods' powers sure, but her development is about being strong enough to not depend on her friends' powers, and it's most of all the characters trying to help out others that truly accomplish things. The people on Earth are all working hard to help each other out and deal with each problem together, even now. They will manage, they will be fine. Let's believe in the power of people. All they need is the human Yona too, and the humans four dragons, and the humans Suwon and Hak. All of Kouka need to be freed from the gods' supervision.

Literally no one right now is asking for anything the gods have ever been doing, they only ever did this for themselves. The gods are fear mongering right now, and I don't think it's worth falling into the trap of believing all life is doomed without their protection like they want us to. I don't think they're objective. They always considered humans were stupid detestable creatures that are destined to destroy themselves without their intervention. I don't think they realize how resilient people on Earth are. (Lili alone would gag them!) Natural disasters are one thing, but how do they know wars will be break out? Wars are started and enacted by people, and are stopped by people as well. We have seen characters facing sort of natural disasters (even if it wasn't natural back then) by working out together during the flooding of Kin Province for example, or when Kuuto was burned down. People have infinite ressources when they work together. Suwon is resolved to find a way to bring back the sky knowing he can't influence the Gods too. It's their business. It's their country. Yona belongs to Earth and people in Kouka want her back because she is waited for, loved, and needed as the human Yona there. Like it is the case for every other character.

I think the theory of Suwon dying and sacrificing himself has no solid basis either. Like, I don't know, he might consider it, but I just don't think it will happen and if it goes there, it will be prevented. I may be naive, but to me the story is conveying that it's not something wishable? Suwon doesn't need to die and wait for punishment (or """redemption""" like I've seen some call it) to be "even". Suwon can live, and find the best path where no one has to be sacrified and punished, himself included. Isn't it what chapter 262 ends on? It's not about equivalent exchange and balance, it's about love and hope for the future. Characters in akatsuki no yona have been giving without expecting anything in return again and again, even if they were hurt before, this is the crux of it to me. This is the nature of Hiryuu's actions in the past too. So no ending can be satisfying if the Gods don't do the same. (Or else just vanish forever.) Without mentioning that it has been established Suwon wants to live. Like, even with what looks like passive suicidal ideation, Suwon wants to live. He can't help being curious about what will happen next. He simply needs help to believe a better future for him is possible too.

And this help can still come. The story isn't over yet. Zeno is still immortal, the dragons have lost their limbs, are not even truly back to normal and are stuck in the chalice, Yona is stuck too, the crimson illness is still a thing etc.. Let's not rush things, and let's look at the bigger picture and find a better solution than just sending anyone that pleases the gods to heavens so they're happy and give everything else ppl want in exchange.

[harmoonix]

Backcountry

(Random Astrology Observations)

🎶: Virgo Moons/Virgo Placements are the maiden, the M symbol in their zodiac sign ♍, indicates the circular nature of karma, love these placements so much 💞

🎶: Capricorn Jupiter/Jupiter in the 10th house or at Cap Degrees 10° 22° grants the native with luck in their careers/jobs

🎶: Midheaven in Leo Degrees 5°, 17°, 29° makes the native to be in the spotlight from a young age, they can get all attention and to be seen as someone very confident

🎶: Venus in Air Signs and Air houses (3rd, 7th, 11th houses) tend to flirt a lot, if they don't flirt they will definitely wait for a good opportunity to do it

🎶: Cancer/Capricorn/Moon/Saturn in the 4th house will love to live a traditional life style, they may also keep in touch with their traditions

🎶: Pisces Moon/Moon in the 12th house are so powerful in their subconscious world, most of these natives can have dreams as a form of signs to warn them about things happening in their lives

🎶: Don't argue with me but Saturn/Capricorn/Scorpio and even Pluto in the 12th house can be indicators of having an difficult/harsh/rough father, and is not your fault in case you have it 💞💞💞

🎶: 8th house ruler in the 12th house or vice versa is extremely karmic, basically you have periods of rebirth after rebirth and evolution I guess in a past life you couldn't expand or evolve that much

🎶: Scorpio/Pluto/Venus in the 3rd house can make the conversation more spicy when you talk with them, like you know talking about a random subject and they throw something spicy into the conversation

🎶: Aries Risings, they have a perfect chart in form of having every sign in their homes and everything can work perfectly at times, of course depends on the placement of planets but your house placements are ✨✨ chef kiss

🎶: Venus in Earth signs have 2 specific love languages (or even more who knows) most earth Venus signs I know love words of affirmation and quality time and I love that about them 💞

🎶: In my ascendant persona chart I have Venus conjunct the ascendant and one specific thing about this placement is that it gives you time to love yourself 💞 is healing

🎶: Mercury aspecting Neptune is an artistic placement, the native is blessed at any types of arts, like design, painting, etc.. they may love music too

🎶: I may not be that much into the draconic chart but I realized some people have a different draconic chart?? and I got soo confused because my draconic chart literally looks like my vedic chart but at different degrees, i checked my sister's draconic chart and is totally different from her vedic chart...

🎶: Saturn in the 2nd house/Saturn in Taurus, there is some sort of anxiety about their worth and value here, both at money and their self worth, they are so worthy but don't realize that 😕

🎶: Moon in Taurus Degrees 2°, 14°, 26°, the native might have a soft inner child, kind, generous, can be very passionate about their dreams and can be sacrificial at times

🎶: Those with Saturn - Jupiter aspects (especially conjunction very rarely find in a chart) can attract succes in the later ages of their lives, succes can be at any type like in love life, maybe in career or something else

🎶: Ascendant at 6°, 18° (Virgo Degrees), They are peaceful and loved natives, Princess Diana had these degrees on the ascendant and she was seen as holy/pure, exactly as Virgo's definition

🎶: Cancer in the 7th house/Moon in the 7th house/Jupiter in Cancer/Jupiter in the 7th house (if you like or are attracted by men) those placements really give the type of husband is who very attached to you/can be a mamas boy and definitely clingy

🎶: Ascendant at 9°, 21° degrees are wild spirits, they are the most outgoing people you will met, definitely that one person who knows how to enjoy life 100%, blessed

🎶: Capricorn Moons/Capricorn Risings are not always cold as some people say, most of the times they want to protect themselves from people and to not get hurt again

🎶: 11° or 23° degrees on the Midheaven indicates someone who may work a lot in online and maybe being successful/known in online

🎶: Jupiter in the 3rd/9th house axis, might be the most curious placement for this planet. Jupiter explores a lot in these houses, makes the native very talkative and open-minded (Also you're really blessed if you have Jupiter in the 9th house)

🎶: Moon in Gemini/Moon in the 3rd house, these natives always have the best advices when it comes to conversations and socializing, they may also talk a lot about their hobbies or things that make them happy

🎶: Mars in Leo/Sagittarius/Gemini/Libra makes the native to be a chaser or to be chased when they're in love especially at flirting

🎶: Midhaven in Libra Degrees 7°, 19° these natives can be known for their beauty or fashion style/maybe for their talents or maybe they can work in a artistic field

🎶: Asteroid Kalisto 204 aspecting Venus bless the native with a lot of love, beauty, passion and talents, is something about their eyes or their voice

🎶: Asteroid Bacchus 2063 aspecting Juno, the native desires a very sensual/sexual relationship, very lusty, maybe even kinky when they're in a relationship

🎶: Asteroid Sirene 1009 in the 1st/6th house the native has this hypnotic energy in their everyday life, their mood might change from time to time

🎶: 11th house placements are very loyal towards their friendships, for them their friends can be their everything

🎶: Pluto or Saturn in the 4th house, native might have an intense family - life/household, may grew with strict parents and strict rules

🎶: Saturn in the 5th/6th/9th houses natives really need to enjoy life A LOT WAYYY more, these native can often get into a depressive state, go out and dance 🩰 🪩, have fun with your friends, maybe connecting with people

🎶: Uranus in Pisces/12th house is full of physic energy, they can have a a very tied relationship with their own subconscious soul & mind

🎶: Juno in the 11th house or Aquarius can happen a lot for people to always ship/pair them with someone, this energy manifests as people crushing over your friendships (If you have Juno at Aquarius Degrees 11°, 23° too)

🌳 - Do you like to go in the backcountry/in the nature/forest?? Especially if you live in areas with forests around, I love that!! I find these things relaxing/healing !! Take care at bears y'all if you live in a country with a high population of bears!!🐻🌳

Hope you have a good time!!🐻 Watch out for bears and be blessed with light today!❤️❤️

All the best,harmoonix ❤️❤️

[gurggggleburgle]

I would like to make the joke that this winter you could sacriligously call Shen Yuan a Jesus figure who deserves a spot on your mantle and tree.

And why would we say that?

1) Father Son and Holy Spirit

Okay so we acknowledge the very real fact that Airplane is God of this world and what is the system if not an abstraction of the holy spirit? And I know what you're thinking how does this apply to Shen Yuan? What is his transmigration into Shen Qingqiu if not a Virgin Birth into a son of Airplane's writing who in PIDW is the narrative justification for all of Binghe's hate and also the eventual release of Binghe's trauma and corruption. Both a sacrificial lamb if you will.

2) resurrection

OK so while his deaths (for the sake of comedy accept big dick death) are all for binghe's sake in the end could one not argue strongly that these deaths carry the symbolic nature of self sacrifice, revival, and of course stigmata. The first death is of course the one that starts the novel where the humble Shen Yuan asks for absolution for the characters and the world of PIDW with his astute words of "dumbfuck novel dumbfuck author" in which he notes the fault of Lord Father Airplane and is born so he may die at the hands of his disciple who will ultimately betray them. His second death comes 3 years later and is the process once makes a statement of absolution towards his betrayer and to once again spare his fellow eleven other peak lords and and binghe who you can read as the 12 apostles. He then dies again in order to save both the world and in the process and absolve guilt and sin in the name of love and forgiveness.

3) stigmata

Much like our favorite anime protagonist from Saint Young Men our boy Shen Yuan experiences multiple cases of gaining stigmata. Stigmata in this instant referring to multiple injuries that Shen Yuan receives in one particular hand and visually in the animated adaptation appears to be the palm. Shen Yuan's hand which was used to read the sacred PIDW text and give head pats to his disciples was injured in saving Luo Binghe multiple times. In first gaining a deadly poison that seals his fate, then in being infected with a disease that ravaged the meek and innocent, third he gets plant spores that need to he repeatedly burned out of his flesh. These stigmata are symbols of his devotion and faith.

4) kindness to snakes and the less fortunate

In showing kindness to a snake Shen Yuan is able to restore Zhuzhi-Lang back to a more desired state much like the way Jesus cured disease. His efforts also resorted in saving the life of Liu Qingge who is restored much like Lazurus. These miracles act as proof of Shizun’s miracles. Proof of his acts as savior

5) god why have you forsaken me

Multiple times throughout the novel Shen Qingqiu can be seen raging against the system as well as Airplane which as we've discussed are both aspects of God. Jesus himself raged against God when forced to confront his own death and spoke of feeling betrayed and forsaken. The same can be said for the way Shen Yuan feels towards both his fate or and for the state of PIDW and Airplanes shitty writing.

6) throwing the money lenders from the temple

Honestly this is just an excuse to make a joke about Huan Hua palace and killing the old palace master.

7) knowing his own betrayal

A large element is that Judas's betrayal is not a surprise to Jesus. It is an inevitability he sees coming in much the same way that Shen Yuan sees Luo Binghe trying to kill him in revenge coming. There is an acceptance of an inevitable betrayal that both figures share

7) Gay

Much like Jesus our boy is gay and problematic

[456x001]

okay huge essay incoming:

and this is based off a post i saw earlier by my awesome mutual @midnight--sadness (her blog is awesome btw) where she talked about gi hun’s ability to forgive in ho. so i’ll start off by prefacing some of the great points she made about gi hun’s trusting nature and his selfless ability to forgive others:

we’ve seen time and time again how trusting gi hun is even if it’s to a fault. it’s simply in his nature to trust and love and to care about other people in the selfless way he does. given that, i think he could forgive in ho. if he sees in ho actually working to make a change and make things right for the betterment of others that have been wronged by the games (and whether or not in ho will or actually even wants to is what we’ll be getting into later), i believe he can forgive him. despite all the horrible things he’s done, despite the unforgivable, irredeemable mistakes he’s made. he’s more than justified in not forgiving him but i’m just saying he might because if anyone could it’s gi hun. he’s made the point time and time again that he isn’t like the masked men and would never become hateful in the ways they are.

now let’s talk a bit about gi hun’s relationship with young-il. gi hun's worry for young-il during the games is so raw and heartfelt. he’s not just strategizing or playing to survive-he genuinely cares about young-il's well-being, even in a scenario where survival often demands selfishness. his willingness to risk everything to make sure young-il was okay shows how deeply gi hun values connection and loyalty. in ho, as the frontman, watches all of this unfold. seeing how much gi-hun cared for his alter ego “young-il" must have left a mark, even if in ho wouldn't openly admit it.

when the truth comes out that young-il and the frontman are the same person it's going to hit gi hun like a ton of bricks. gi hun will have to reconcile the caring, vulnerable young-il with the cold, calculating frontman. it will once again challenge everything he believes about people and their capacity for change. in ho, for all his control and detachment, won't be immune to this confrontation either. gi hun's unwavering belief in him as young-il could be the thing that cracks his carefully built armor.

this dynamic is so layered with unspoken emotions, unacknowledged bonds, and so much potential for heartbreak and redemption. it’s no wonder they gave us at the edge of our seats. now here’s the crux of the discussion. do we think gi hun’s belief in young-il's goodness, his inherent belief in the goodness of people could be enough to pull in ho back toward redemption?

we don’t know the answer to that yet, but i will say this. we’ve seen the final defying act of the villain sacrificing his life at the end for the greater good many times before. however, redemption doesn't always have to end in self-sacrifice. it could mean in ho finding a way to dismantle the system from the inside or choosing to protect gi hun and others while carving out a new path for himself. gi hun's belief in young-il could serve as a bridge for in ho to reconnect with the part of himself that still values humanity, without needing to face total destruction.

in a show like squid game tragedy feels inevitable but in ho's complexity gives him the potential to break free from that cycle of the self-sacrificial villain. if the writers explore his humanity further, there's room for a story where redemption and survival coexist— where he doesn't have to lose his life to find the good within himself.

it’s okay to hope. even in a world as bleak as squid game. personally, to me that feels a lot more compelling than the trope of self sacrifice that we’ve seen in the past. it gives in ho a chance to truly live with his choices, grow from them, and navigate the complexities of redemption, rather than taking the "easy" way out of a grand gesture. it’s a more challenging story to tell for sure but it would also feel satisfying.

i know it may seem like i’m trying to paint a fairy tale but here’s why i think it could work.

squid game thrives on subverting expectations. taking in ho down a path where he survives, changes, and potentially becomes an ally or disruptor within the system could be far more groundbreaking than another shock-value death. it could challenge the audience to grapple with forgiveness and morality in ways that are more impactful than a tragic ending. gi hun's unwavering hope in humanity could become the key to helping in ho see his own worth and capacity for change. in ho is such a layered character, and his survival would be more shocking in a show as grim as squid game. it would challenge the bleakness and give the story a deep emotional payoff. the shock value of how he survives and redeems himself could carry as much weight as a tragic death.

i really value the complexity and emotional depth in this show gives us in within the narrative and i can’t wait to see how hwang dong-hyuk continues to challenge the bounds of storytelling and reach beyond the obvious in season 3 as he’s done with these past two seasons.

[akutasoda]

BSD men with a self-sacrificial healer s/o? Like, healing others drains them drastically but they push forward and ignore the pain to soothe others.

pain of healing

synopsis - how are they with an s/o who is a 'self-sacrificing' healer

includes - dazai, ranpo, akutagawa, tecchou

warnings - gn!reader, fluff, slight angst, small mentions of injuries, wc - 725

osamu dazai ★↷

↪at first, he thought that having a healing ability was pretty cool, it didn't require much to use and it certainly could come in handy. but he didn't like it all that much when he found out that it hurt you in return.

↪now he preferred you to not use your ability unless absolutely necessary, but he knew that was an unrealistic ask. you used your ability to help your coworkers and friends, he loved that about you but sometimes he wished that you weren't so willing.

↪even if he was injured, he'd prefer you not to use your ability on him. he hated the way you became so tired, practically on the verge of passing out and in pain. he'd rather be in pain than see you in pain because you were trying to help him.

↪whenever he is on a field mission with you and notices you healing someone, he waits an exact amount of time before he walks over and nullifies your ability. he knows exactly when it starts hurting you and he can't bear it.

ranpo edogawa ★↷

↪he despised your ability. ranpo wouldn't say it to your face, he would but he held himself back from doing so, because he knew that it wasn't your fault. you didn't ask for your ability but sometimes he really wished you didn't use it.

↪he didn't exactly join you on field missions or when you were helping yosano, but he knew exactly what happened anytime an injury occurred. he knew that you would push your body to it's limits just to ensure your coworkers safety, put yourself through the pain and fatigue just to heal them.

↪for once he wished you were selfish. that you put your own health above those around you and save yourself that pain. he may never bring it up, but you could tell it bothered him - you weren't too keen on your abilities' drawback but you wanted to help.

↪you'd start noticing that you were put on less missions, immediately you knew that ranpo was purposefully putting a word in and so you quickly confronted him.

↪he hated the fact that you overexerted yourself for others, he worried for you. you'd have to promise to him that you wouldn't put yourself through so much pain.

ryūnosuke akutagawa ★↷

↪he doesn't exactly care what your ability is, but something about the fact that most of the port mafia rely upon your ability for injuries, makes him rather annoyed. not because you're helping others, but because it hurts you.

↪he won't say anything, it's not his place and he doesn't exactly know how to, but you can tell by the obvious look on his face - the one that turns into a scowl, not directed at you, if he's in the vicinity of you healing someone.

↪akutagawa would always find a way to tell you off for overdoing it whenever he catches you afterwards. you always look tired and in so much pain that he hates that you sacrifice your health for the sake of some insignificant people.

↪but he knows that you won't listen, and he can't make you. all he can do is scold you each and every time, making sure that he gets the point across in his own way.

tecchou suehiro ★↷

↪he was quite indifferent about your ability, it was nice that you had one but at the end of the day, it wasn't exactly the most important thing. although when he learnt about the conditions and drawbacks, he didn't like your ability as much as he would like to.

↪tecchou understood that you wanted to help people so he never said anything but he hated how you always seemed drained of all energy and in pain afterwards each time. he knew it wasn't exactly his place but he wished he would actually say something.

↪however, he was content to always be near you if you two were on a mission, he wanted to be able to be near you just in case you needed help. he could be fine with you healing overs but he wouldn't be okay if something major happened to you in the process.

taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @vi-chan07

[somerandomdudelmao]

Okay okay hear me out.

We all know that Donnie was devastated to discover what happened to his brothers. But in light of the most recent update, new meaning has been added to the panels of him watching their deaths' play out.

Look at him here. At first glance, it simply seemed that Donnie was grieving the loss of his brothers. "We lost. They're all gone. My dumb dumb brothers sacrificed themselves. I'm alone."

BUT after today's update, we realize that NOOO he's not just regretting that they're gone, he's BLAMING HIMSELF. Not only is he sad, he feels GUILT.

Looking back, his face clearly says, "I could have stopped it. I could have saved them. I failed. This is my fault."

"If I had been with you, the outcome might have been better." What hurts is that Don is RIGHT. He WAS the keystone of the resistance. Everything does indeed fall apart soon after he's gone (hence the episode name). It's a cruel, ironic twist on Survivor's Guilt-- because in that timeline he didn't survive. He was gone. And he blames himself for being gone.

We often talk about Future Leo's guilt over the apocalypse, but Future Donnie's guilt is not to be taken lightly. It actually makes a LOT of sense for him to blame himself for his family's deaths. We know that all dear Donton has ever wanted is validation for his tech, and his tech is his way of expressing to his family that he loves them. Ergo, all Donnie wants is to make tech to protect his family to Show Them That He Loves Them.

This is probably why he opened up to Raph, all but admitting his guilt over the less-than-perfect security system: it was like saying he and his love failed to protect them for long.

The character analysis deepens~

Here (and throughout all of The Little Things, really) we see him taking steps to make sure his brothers (and the resistance) will be taken care of. Delegating everything, even The Little Things (ah HA) all to ensure that all he does for them (to prove his love, of course) continues to happen.

Even here, when Donnie has been hanging onto life for so long that the Kraang are shocked he's still alive, Donnie wants to help. He could not "sit here and listen to them get killed," because he is Donatello, and he loves his family. Cass, you said it yourself: Violence is his love language. Rushing into battle, decimating the Kraang, saving his family. Because he may be dying, he may be clinging to life by a few threads, but he is Hamato Donatello and he loves his family.

But in the end, that's what he does. In the end, he DOES sit there and watch them get killed. Watches with his very own tech. One. By. One. They. Die. And deep down, Donnie thinks that if he would have been there, he could have found a way to make a generator NOT from Raph's heart. That he could have supported Mikey enough to keep him from disintegrating. That he could have protected Leo in those final, self sacrificial moments.

Donatello blames himself for not being there for his brothers. He blames himself for his tech not being flawless enough. He blames himself for dying on them.

Which is why he won't rest until they're ALL back home.

He is Mr. "I Can Fix This", so of COURSE he's going to fix this.

And afterwards, when his family is SAFE and HOME and TOGETHER he's going to apologize for "letting them die" and he's FINALLY going to get some SENSE knocked into his OWN dumb dumb brain (probably by Dr. Delicate Touch). His brothers love him because he's DONNIE. I cannot WAIT for the moment when they make him realize that they didn't miss his tech, they missed HIM. He's gonna realize just how utterly loved he is and I'm so excited for you, Cass, to show us that moment.

(I apologize; this got out of hand quickly, but the analysis has been bouncing around my head all day and I NEEDED to share it)

OH THIS IS ONE GREAT ANALYSIS RIGHT HERE