#self indulgent author

[ejzah]

A/N: Well, after more than two years, this story is slowly coming to a close.

***

In Miss Blye’s Class, Part 37

The start of summer break meant more late nights and juggling of the different schedules. Deeks tried not to leave Caleb with his sitter too often, so he took him to the office whenever possible. When she wasn’t teaching college classes, Kensi also offered to stay with Caleb some of the time, insisting that it wouldnt be any trouble.

They spent the majority of their time outside of work together. More often than not, Kensi ended up at Deeks’ house, but she was getting a little more comfortable with letting him into her apartment, messiness aside.

Today, Deeks had a late meeting with a new client that kept him in the office until after six. He knew Caleb was fine and perfectly happy with Kensi, but he missed them both.

“Wow, you really are whipped, aren’t you?” Talia mused, when she found him hurriedly packing up his bag. As usual, she made herself at home, plopping in his desk chair.

“Yep. You jealous?”

“As if.” She scoffed at the suggestion, but Deeks noticed she shifted a little uncomfortably.

“That reminds me, how are things going with Sabatino? I heard he took you to that swanky little Japanese place,” Deeks said.

“Oh no, we are not talking about my love life.”

“Which implies that there’s a love life to talk about.”

“God, I hate lawyers,” she sighed. “So, what are you and the teacher doing tonight?”

“You could call her Kensi, you know,” Deeks reminded her without any heat.

“Eh, that’s no fun.”

“We’re going to a movie in the park. They’ve got some food trucks around and free popcorn. Caleb’s super excited.”

“How domestic,” Talia drawled.

“You’re welcome to come if you want,” Deeks offered. He imagined Talia sitting on a blanket in the grass and nearly snorted.

“Thanks, but I’m more of a IMAX kind of girl.” Tilting her head, she gave him a genuine smile. “You know, I don’t usually do the whole sappy, lovey-dovey thing—”

“Oh and here I thought the tongue girl thing was just an act,” he interrupted, and she flashed him a scowl, jabbing her finger at him.

“Hush. I’m being genuine here.” Without missing a beat, she continued, “I’m glad that you found someone who makes you this happy. You and Caleb deserve it.”

“Well, thanks, Talia.”

“Not to mention, I was getting really sick of your mopey, single father act.”

“As always, I feel so loved,” he said, slipping the strap of his bag over his head and settling it firmly on his shoulder. “See you later.”

***

The park was pretty full by the time Kensi, Deeks, and Caleb got themselves together, but they managed to find a nice square of grass to lay a blanket on and a couple chair. Predictably, Caleb has zero interest in staying put or the snacks Deeks had packed. He’d already eaten a taco, cheese sticks, and a snow cone and now was running back and forth at the back of the plot with a couple of other children.

He glanced over at Kensi, who sat cross-legged, her knee brushing against his, steadily working her way through a bag of trail mix. She dropped her head on his shoulder, tracking Caleb’s progress across the ground. He tumbled to the ground with an overly dramatic grunt and giggled when one of his new friends fell on top of him.

“You think he’ll make it to the movie?” she asked.

“Eh, I give it 50/50 odds. Especially if the sugar crash kicks in soon.”

“If he does fall asleep, then we can snuggle.”

“Nothing stopping us from snuggling now,” Deeks said. Wrapping his arms around Kensi’s waist, he fell back, taking her with him. Kensi went easily, tucking her legs through his and wriggling closer.

“Mm, this is nice,” she sighed. “I’m glad we don’t have to worry about someone seeing us and getting upset.”

“Yeah, you don’t want to mess with those PTO ladies,” he joked, and he felt Kensi snort against his cheek.

“Oh yeah, they’re terrifying.” She kissed the edge of his jaw. “You had those women eating out of your hands.” Deeks shrugged modestly at the assessment.

Moving around, Kensi made herself comfortable on his chest. Deeks closed his eyes, basking in the moment.

“How was class today?” he asked, eyes still closed. She’d just started a new section that would last eight weeks long, along with two other sections that ran for the majority of the summer.

“I have three students who could probably teach the class better than me, a bunch of athletic kids who have zero interest in learning Spanish during the summer, and then a handful who either seem genuinely engaged or at least want to pass,” Kensi answered.

He opened his eyes so he could look down at the top of Kensi’s head.

“Hey, don’t group all the athletic kids together. I played hockey and basketball in high school and I loved my foreign language class.”

Without lifting her head, Kensi added, “One of the football players fell asleep five minutes in and another tried to sneak in during the last five minutes just so he could take the quiz.”

“Ok, maybe they’re not the most dedicated of students,” Deeks allowed with a chuckle. “Are you still enjoying it at least?”

“Yes.” Kensi nodded into his shoulder. “Plus there’s the added benefit of getting paid.”

“Always nice.”

“How was the visitation yesterday? Caleb told me you were all going to a museum, but I didn’t get a chance to ask him about it today,” Kensi said.

Deeks sighed, his good mood slightly dampened by the mention of Monica.

According to their updated visitation contract, Monica had shown up at the library at the first week exactly at the time they’d agreed on beforehand. The entire visit, she’d been pleasant and engaged with Caleb, and he seemed to sincerely enjoy himself. However, Deeks had the sense she’d been trying to prove something as well. Or maybe that was just his bias and bitterness speaking. The next visit, she’d been 20 minutes late and the most recent one…

“She didn’t come.”

Kensi pushed up on his chest and gave him an incredulous look.

“I know,” he said, interpreting her expression. Even though he’d known it could be a possibility, he’d still be furious when they waited over an hour before she finally sent a short text saying she couldn’t make it.

“How was Caleb?”

“He seems to take it alright.” Deeks shrugged and shook his head, eyes flicking to Caleb playing. “I mean, he was disappointed at first, but after a little bit, he said he’d seen her another time. I did offer to let her come tomorrow instead, but she hasn’t responded yet.”

“I can’t believe it.” He heard the anger he felt in her voice. She snaked an arm up his chest to cup his cheek. “I’m sorry. Are you ok?”

“Yeah. I was furious in the moment. Now,” he shrugged. “I’m reigned to who Monica is. I can’t change that. I just hope Caleb doesn’t get too confused.”

“We’ll take it one day at a time,” Kensi said. He rolled her use of “we” around in his head, the thought of them working together as a unit, and smiled.

“I like the sound of that,” he murmured, kissing the side of Kensi’s head.

A few minutes later, the opening credits of the movie started, and Caleb made his way back to their blanket. He threw himself on top of them, wedging his little body between them.

“Oof, call your shots, kiddo!”

They rearranged themselves into a more comfortable configuration, settling down to watch the movie. With one arm behind Kensi’s back, and Caleb snuggled firmly between them, he knew this was true happiness.

[ataraxiaspainting]

Blue Crow.

Yan Nobunaga x F Reader x Yan Uvogin. (College AU.)

Synopsis: Uvogin hates taking buses, but he enjoys seeing you one seat ahead of him.

Warnings: Yandere themes, non-con, the reader is described as AFAB and she/her pronouns are used, unhealthy relationships, brief mentions of drug/alcohol usage, victim blaming, oral (female receiving), oral (male receiving), sexual blackmail, and implied stalking.

Word Count: 5k.

somewhat inspired by the game classmates! check it out here if you'd like. <3

also inspired by @uvobreakmylegs's digging deeper! it's amazing! <3

*~*~*~*

The 5A station was the closest one to your dorm. It had no seats or shelter of any kind in case of bad weather, only a large blue sign that said Yorknew University, Nursing Program in white bold letters – because it didn’t say anything else about the buses that stopped by and because this stop is surrounded by old rotting trees, the drivers sometimes fail to notice you.

It’s raining now, and everything here is so dark – your clothes, your umbrella, the night sky, and your bag.

Your phone says the bus will be here any minute now, but will it even see you?

If not, you’ll have to find a different way to make it to Nobunaga’s place.

He seemed friendly enough. If you were a few minutes late, surely he’d understand. You were not close enough to invite him over, go inside his home, or let him drive you anywhere, though that is just how you are with all males you casually know. It’s nothing personal.

There are two bright lights a small distance away, and at the sight you raise your hand and wave.

By some miracle, the bus stops and opens its automatic doors.

You take a few steps as you close your umbrella and make your way up the stairs, being careful not to slip. You slip a few quarters into the little slot beside the driver and sit down on a seat near the window.

Taking off your hood, you ruffle your wet bangs out of your face, using your reflection to attempt to get them back to looking presentable. It doesn’t really work, but what does it matter? You’re just there to give Nobunaga some notes his friends wanted to give to him and leave. 

*~*~*~*

“You’re [First], correct?” Chrollo asks, putting his right hand out towards you.

You take out your earbuds, fixing your posture as you nod. A blonde man sits next to you on the bench before Chrollo could, smiling and giggling like he is some gossiping schoolgirl.

“Dang, you’re cute!” Shalnark exclaims. 

“Shal, what the hell are you doing?” Uvogin had started to stomp over. His mere size was enough to keep your eyes on him and not the others. Even the one girl who was with them didn’t draw your attention, despite her hair being unnaturally bright pink.

“Saying hi!” Shalnark put an arm around you. On instinct, you squirm a little bit, not noticing how Uvogin rolled his eyes in response to how Shalnark smirked at him. Once you were out of his loose grip, Chrollo politely cleared his throat.

“I was wondering if you could do something for us, Miss [First]. For the gang, I mean.” 

The gang? From what you knew, Chrollo’s group was always causing some sort of rule-breaking but Chrollo himself stayed at the top of the class with superb grades and plenty of attention from girls. It is like no one knew they were connected. They seemed like bad news, but all of your interactions with them had been positive thus far. Did Nobunaga put in the good word for you?

“Um… sure?” As long as it was something that didn’t land you in prison or the hospital, you decide to go along with what Nobunaga’s leader asks of you. It is probably a bad idea to reject, and maybe you’ll get something good out of it in exchange.

“I’d like you to give Nobunaga some notes he missed. He’s been out. Sick, most likely.” You didn’t notice the small piles of books he was carrying until he made them closer to you, wanting you to take them. “Surely you have noticed? He talks to you a lot, I hear.”

“Yeah.” You decide to put them on your lap for the time being. The notes weren’t as heavy as they would have been if you were carrying them. “Is… he doing better?”

“Not sure,” Uvogin says, attempting to pry Shalnark off the bench. “He hasn’t been answering his phone, you see.”

“I don’t wanna!” Shalnark whines.

“Shut up, Shal. You’re gonna make us look bad in front of Nobu’s girlfriend.”

Girlfriend?

“I’m… not his girlfriend…”

They don’t seem to hear you. You’re not exactly the loudest person, after all. You have been teased for having a soft voice and having to speak up. These people wouldn’t ignore you, you think. Shalnark and Uvogin are play fighting, and Chrollo is talking to that magenta-haired woman. They wouldn’t ignore you, you’re just being too shy. They wouldn’t ignore you, they are Nobunaga’s friends. Nobunaga wouldn’t ignore you, why would they?

“I’m… not his girlfriend.”

Uvogin is the only one to give you a response after hearing it. He shoots you a confused look before continuing to tickle Shalnark. No one else seems to notice your words.

After a few more tries, you decide to give up for now. Looking at the notebooks in front of you, you decide to open the top one up. There are just standard mathematical problems as well as some doodles and words of encouragement in the vacant spaces of the looseleaf. 

‘Go get them, tiger!’

‘Don’t die on me now!’

‘Remember one plus one?’

‘♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡’

At first, you think that it is Nobunaga’s girlfriend, but you shake your head to erase it. No. The gang thinks you are his girlfriend. 

Perhaps Shalnark then? From the times you sat near him in your chemistry classes, his handwriting was a mess. It took some effort to realize that he was simply drawing and not paying attention to the professor in the slightest. However, his favorite things to draw were bats and computers. Would he really draw hearts and not those things so Nobunaga could know it was him? 

Maybe it was an inside joke. You’re not going to ask because you don’t want your question to come off as disrespectful, though you were slightly curious.

You’ll just do what you were told and go right back home.

*~*~*~*

Shalnark texted you the address of Nobunaga’s place a few hours ago, but if you were being honest it took a while to decipher what he was saying. In between every five or so memes or videos he sent you there was a number or letter, maybe three at most if you were lucky.

You sat there with your phone in your hands for what felt like forever, not having the guts to ask Shalnark to just tell you straight up – because he wouldn’t, you know that.

From what you managed to gather from your online map, it seemed that Nobunaga’s place and Uvogin’s place were near each other, no more than a fifteen-minute walk at most. If they lived so close to each other, why didn’t one of them just visit the other? That was the third red flag you didn’t say anything about… and came to regret only half an hour later.

The electric sign attached to the entrance of the bus flickered from time to time with varying degrees of brightness. One person complained openly to the driver that the screen was so dark they did not know that they had missed their dormitory’s building. He didn’t care, only shrugging his shoulders and telling the student that ‘that’s life’. They got off murmuring curses you could hear from the middle part of the bus. Once again, he didn’t care. Like Shalnark, the driver wouldn’t take anything you say seriously; so you just used your online map to count the stops ahead.

“Hey.”

“Next stop: Aster Road, Thirds Street.” The automated message from the bus speakers loudly said, glitching a little after the word ‘Road’.

“Hey.” 

You failed to notice who was behind you as you were too busy counting the stops ahead on your phone.

“Hey.”

“Next stop: Ritas Street, Wilds Complex.”

“Hey.”

“Next stop: Neo Road, Neon Green.”

“Hey.”

“Next stop: Romeos Road, Kiki Terrace.”

“Hey.”

“Next stop-”

You failed to hear the name of the stop because the hand that tapped your shoulder startled you and made you turn your neck around to the seat behind you.

You see a familiar face despite the fading light – or should you say, a familiar body.

“O-Oh… hi… Uvogin.”

Satisfied you had finally noticed him, Uvogin puts his hands behind his head as he smirks. 

“Fancy seeing you so late,” he begins, looking down at your black bag. “Going to Nobu’s place, ain’tcha?”

“Yeah… you?”

“Basketball.”

Was Uvogin on the team too? If you remember correctly it was only Phinks, Feitan, and Nobunaga who were on it. Perhaps he just wanted to watch? Oh well. It’s not any of your business.

After remembering your last conversation with him yesterday, you decide to ask him why everyone thinks you are Nobunaga’s girlfriend – you only talked to him when necessary, in the classes you shared with him, but to be fair he also escorted you around the building most days.

“Listen… about that time…”

“What?” Uvogin turns his head, cupping his ear with his hand. “Speak up.”

“About Nobunaga and me…” You look down – at the books, at your cold wet hands, at the heels of your feet bouncing up and down. Your gut tells you that you’re making a mistake if you talk to him about you and Nobunaga’s relationship, or lack thereof. Your brain goes against it, saying that clearing things up will lead to less trouble down the line. 

Your heart is beating too fast to accept or reject the possibility. 

“Nobunaga and me…”

“You’re still talking too low,” Uvogin interrupts, his stare near-lethal to you. When you flinch at his words, his annoyance seems to disappear. “Hey, you can tell me. We’re friends, aren’t we?”

Yeah. Yeah, you’re friends or at least acquaintances. Saying the truth won’t hurt him and won’t hurt you. Maybe Shalnark’s teasing will go away. Maybe Chrollo won’t give you a task again. Maybe Nobunaga won’t be confused when he comes back to school.

“Nobunaga and me… aren’t dating-”

Uvogin’s expression changing wasn’t as fast as before, but his glare intensified as he stood up.

“Next stop: Nightstar Avenue, Owl’s Place.”

Your ears felt numb after you heard the ‘beep’ sound of someone pressing the stop button. Your eyes felt numb as you tried to see the details of Uvogin’s scowl in the dark.

It was Uvogin. He made the bus stop. But why?

It then hits you; this is the closest stop to Nobunaga’s place.

“Stop requested.” The speaker stated. The bus started to pull over next to a tall blue sign.

“Woah, the bus got here so quickly,” Uvogin says, going to the exit doors. When he didn’t hear you stand up too, he turned in your direction. “Don’t tell me you don’t know the directions to your boyfriend’s house?”

“Please exit through the rear door.” Another automated message. Uvogin presses on the door and it lets him out. After a few more seconds you follow him – your gut tells you that you must.

He helps you down with his much larger hands despite you not really needing it – there are handrails on the doors for that.

“What were you saying?” Uvogin asks. “Something about Nobunaga?”

There is a lit street lamp above the sign. It doesn’t flash like the ones near your dormitory and is much brighter. Despite the weather still being stormy, you can see houses a small distance away – not just the street. 

You can see that Uvogin is smiling again.

“Nothing… It’s nothing.”

“Oh?” He sneers, his smirk getting even bigger. “You didn’t want relationship advice?”

“No…” You reply, your hands going to your backpack’s zipper to make sure the notes don’t get too wet.

“Nobunaga likes mochi. Maybe you can get some for him next time. Daifuku especially. He’d be so happy, maybe he’ll stop skipping class with me.” 

A sigh comes out of both of you at the same time for much different reasons. 

“But I don’t want that to happen… hmm.”

*~*~*~*

The outside of Nobunaga’s house wasn’t the house that stood out the most in this neighborhood. It had rather small walls that had peeling white paint in places closer to the ground, and cigarettes and used needles were thrown all over his dead lawn. The only thing you somewhat liked was the rusty gold sign beside the front door that read 251 – and only for the styling of the numbers.

“Here’s the place,” Uvogin says, patting your back as a way to gently push you forward. “Go on, doorbell's right there.”

You were forced up the steps with a force you knew was gentle for Uvogin but not for you. A trembling finger approaches the button slowly – as if using it would make you lose it via a guillotine’s blade.

Doing so didn’t because this is reality, but the pain in your heart feels similar to such a fate anyway. After a few more seconds and the door still being closed, Uvogin knocks loudly.

“[First]’s here!” His yell almost made you cry.

Your name may as well have been the password because Nobunaga opens the door right away. He pants a little like he was running to greet you two.

“Oh fuck, you made it! I thought the storm woulda scared you away.”

Nobunaga didn’t look very sick; he wasn’t wearing a shirt, had his hair down, and only his boxers covered his lower half. He didn’t look very sick; he actually looked quite well. Those signs scared you more than Uvogin’s subtle threat – if his glaring was intended to be such, that is. You don’t step past the doorway, leaving Uvogin to stand in the rain as you take off your backpack. But when you try to undo the zipper, you feel both of their hands touching you up and down as their grins widen.

“Stop that,” You murmur, attempting to step back. Your spine was greeted by Uvogin’s front half. You feel something pressing into you. Once you figured out what it was, you started to go under one of Uvogin’s arms. His leg caged you in then.

“She’s cute, Nobu.”

Nobunaga doesn’t answer in words – he only chuckles and continues to have his hands resting on your hips.

“Listen. Your notes are here, Hazama.” You say, making an effort to still be nice, to still be understanding. You don’t want to scream because what if you’re misreading something? You don’t want anyone to… be framed for something they didn’t do, right?

“It’s Nobunaga.”

“Huh?”

“Call me Nobunaga,” You’re pushed and pulled more. Before you can blink, you’re thrown on the couch’s back. Uvogin is the one who lets go of you and the one who locks the front door, Nobunaga is too busy feeling the back of your thighs. “I’m your boyfriend – it’s normal to call each other by our first names, right?”

Boyfriend?

Was… Was he…

Was he the one who told his gang you’re dating?

“I missed you, baby.” He murmurs, leaning down and pecking your neck. 

He doesn’t seem to note how you’re trembling now.

“Stop.” 

Uvogin simply gets closer. He doesn’t touch you, but he crosses his arms smirking as he leans against the sofa’s frame.

“Stop,” You repeat, trying to push Nobunaga harder off of you.

It’s not an order either of them recognize, so Uvogin continues to stare and Nobunaga continues to kiss your body.

“Stop!” Your tone makes Uvogin slightly shift. He frowns and his arms uncross. 

He takes a few steps towards you. 

“Nobunaga.” Uvogin’s voice is cold now, like how it was when you were about to get off the bus. You freeze. Nobunaga doesn’t stop – he doesn’t even look at Uvogin. “Nobunaga.”

“Stop, Haz-”

“Watch it.” Uvogin glares at you. “It’s ‘Nobunaga’ for you.”

He’s not… He’s not going to help you?

“Yeah.” Nobunaga agrees, pulling you further into his embrace.

“Let go of me!” You snap and push harder than you did before – and manage to finally ply him off of you.

Nobunaga stares down at you. He is now still. He doesn’t blink. His smile has slightly faded, but it is still there. There are subtle movements in his hands. His fingers are curled up. They want to grab something again.

They want to grab you.

“Don’t joke around like that, princess,” Nobunaga finally says, taking a few steps too close to you. “Not many guys are willing to forgive their girl for pushing them away like that. You almost screamed my ears off.”

“I’m not joking!”

“You are.” Uvogin interrupts, stomping his feet. “You are and I am starting to get annoyed. What about you, Nobu?”

“I’m just here to give notes Lucilfer told me to give to Hazama! I’m not here for anything else.”

Nobunaga’s gaze lingers on your backpack for a few silent moments after you say that. “Really… nothing else?” 

“No, she’s here to cheer you up, Nobu,” Uvogin says, attempting to give a warm smile to his best friend. “She’s… just shy.”

The glare he gives you when Nobunaga’s eyes aren’t on him makes you feel like you are about to see God.

“...Right, [First]?”

You don’t respond right away, but Nobunaga does. He giddily smiles like a child on Christmas morning.

“Oh, you!”

He hugs you – his skin feels akin to slime and his hair clings onto your neck in little bunches. You feel unbrushed knots and his heart beating fast with adrenaline. When your own heart mimics the motion, Nobunaga thinks you are simply being shy – Uvogin had once again fed his delusions.

“She brought you the notes you missed. Even wrote a few cute lines in the blank spots.” Uvogin smirks as you look at him in horror. “She wanted me to come with her. Was anxious about missing your bus stop, sweet thing.”

He walks over to your backpack and grips onto the zipper. You attempt to stop him, walking a bit forward and trying to raise your hand, but Nobunaga’s grip is too strong. Within only a few seconds, the stack of notebooks Chrollo had given you is in Uvogin’s hands. He opens a page and starts reading aloud the cute notes someone else had written.

“Go get them, tiger.” 

He turns to another page. 

“Don’t die on me now.”

Then another.

“Remember one plus one?”

Then another.

“A whole bunch of hearts here…”

He then turns to a section you hadn’t looked at before – the back page.

“With lots of love, your one and only girlfriend [First].”

Oh shit. Oh shit.

Did his gang set you up?

…They did. They did.

This is bad. So very bad.

“I never-”

“Stop being so shy with your boyfriend, [First].”

“Why are you being so difficult?” Nobunaga asks, slightly frowning as you protest.

You have to get out of here – fast. If you distract them enough, maybe you’ll be able to make it outside. But they’re faster than you, just better overall when it comes to physicality-

Uvogin’s hand rests on your shoulder, silencing any thoughts or ideas he does not approve of.

“I know what she wants.”

“Huh?” You and Nobunaga ask simultaneously with two distinctly different tones.

It then dawns on both of you what he means – because his shirt is tossed on the couch before you can even take a step toward the front door.

“I know what she wants.” Uvogin repeats.

He wants nothing more than to put you on your knees as he unzips his pants and as Nobunaga keeps you down. He wants nothing more than for Nobunaga afterward to have a turn – or he could go first if he wishes. One of his fingers and one of Nobunaga’s own will be forced into you after your own clothes are discarded. Two tongues will slather all over your pussy like thirsty dogs – and after a few pictures are taken you’ll stay the night with Nobunaga while he makes his way to tell Chrollo that his idea was a success.

“I really couldn’t have done it without you, boss.”

-You try to scream and Nobunaga’s hand muffles your mouth’s cries.

“Don’t go being such a brat,” Uvogin continues, “When all you really want are two bodies to love on you.”

Your arms are grabbed and you are dragged up the stairs.

In a last attempt to get out of here, your legs spread out on the stairs and kick around at Nobunaga – but the fight is short-lived because they thump so roughly with each wooden step and it hurts; Nobunaga makes a note to finally get rid of any rotten oak once you leave.

The bedroom isn’t as spacious as Uvogin had hoped. Clothes were scattered all over the place already; most Nobunaga’s but others were clearly from past flings or some of yours that he had managed to steal. Your dorm was nicer despite it being the same size as the bedroom and your bed being even smaller. But at least yours had a frame and covers.

Maybe later Uvogin will stop by to see you crying yourself to sleep and to take some trophies.

Your white panties were a favorite of his, but Uvogin wouldn’t mind a little bit of change in his collection. A few bras perhaps or a few black thongs. He hopes for whole lingerie sets, but he knows it will only happen if he is lucky that particular evening.

Uvogin sits on the bed first. He thinks about pulling on your hair to make you sit on the dirty floor, but he dismisses the idea. That would be hurting you more than he has to and Nobunaga would be upset at him inevitably having long strands on his palm.

“Hey Nobu,” He says, unzipping his pants and boxers as he quickly tugs them both down to his ankles. “Make sure she’s comfy as we do this, okay?”

It took a while for you to stop crying after that. It took a while for you to do a lot of things Uvogin and Nobunaga wanted you to do. It took a while for you to take just the tip of Uvogin’s penis. Nobunaga had told Uvogin to take it slow when you had finally clamped your lips around him.

“It’s her first time, Uvo – be gentle, okay?”

Uvogin almost laughed at the irony he managed to leave unsaid.

He didn’t want Nobunaga to get upset with all the information he had attained while stalking you for months. You were supposed to just be his little secret he pinned down once in a while, but then Nobunaga just so happened to share a few classes with you.

He fell for you too. Uvogin had never felt any negative emotion for Nobunaga ever over their years-long friendship, but the slight tinge of envy he possessed the moment he found out could almost count.

Oh well, he thinks. I still have pictures of you that he does not. Pictures I would rather not have him see and you probably don’t either.

Just for future reference in case you acted up too much, though Uvogin could always take the more physical route.

Though once again he remembers that Nobunaga is in the picture now. Though their bond is as strong as forged steel, he knows that his friend has always been a bit too controlling when it comes to what he has and loves.

Whether that be simple instant ramen or expensive bottles of brandy, Nobunaga has always had a habit of stowing his possessions away where no one can even look at them.

Uvogin understands although Nobunaga had said nothing about you being something to own. Uvogin understands because he sees how he looks at you.

It’s not disgust he feels. It’s something much less potent, but he cannot put his finger on the exact word. Machi had described it perfectly once when they were all in their mid-teenage years.

He doesn’t bother to remember right now.

You are more important.

You look prettier than he had ever seen you – precum is leaking a little from your lips as little noises come out of them too.

Please. Please.

Please.

You’re not in tears right now.

Uvogin is glad. You in makeup is nice to look at, but he knows that since it is absolutely pouring outside you didn’t want to put some on. Either for that reason or because you knew that Nobunaga was just a friend, despite what Nobunaga in return has told the Troupe. It’s cute, really.

Maybe later he can pull this when he inevitably breaks into your dorm or even in a study room in the university’s library. You’ll have makeup on when you feel like it or when he forces you to. He can ask Pakunoda about how to apply mascara and stuff. She’ll teach him. As a bonus, she won’t tease him like Shalnark does daily.

Thinking more about the idea, Uvogin makes the mistake of letting go of your face.

You cough louder than he had expected. Your spit is now all over the wooden floor Nobunaga has to clean up later. The floors are water resistant. But not waterproof. Uvogin has to remember that there is in fact a difference. Hopefully, it won’t stain and rot like the stairs did, but if it does Uvogin wouldn’t mind paying for the damages.

He wouldn’t mind paying you to keep silent about this too – or he’ll make the cops silent if it came down to it.

“Oh,” Nobunaga rubs your arched back as you squirm and saliva runs down from your clearly sore jaw. He sounds disappointed, but trying not to let it show. It’s not successful. Every person Nobunaga has ever crossed can read him like a book, not that Nobunaga knows about it. Or maybe he does and just doesn’t want to admit it. “You spat it all up. Didn’t wanna swallow it?”

You don’t respond. Uvogin is getting used to that by now. Not Nobunaga though.

“Shh… it’s okay.” Nobunaga senses your distress but thinks it is just shyness. Uvogin is getting used to that too. “It’s okay… you did such a great job.”

“Home,” You choke out. “Please… let me go home now…”

“What are you talking about, sweetheart?” Nobunaga asks, turning his head a little. “We’re not done here.”

“Please… Please, I-”

“Shh.” Uvogin interrupts. Now it is his turn to play the good guy here. “Nobu still hasn’t had his turn, remember? Thankfully he won’t use your mouth.”

A blend of hope and fright is in your gaze. Uvogin didn’t have to get used to that one. He has seen it too many times with all sorts of people. Chrollo loves that look. Feitan loves it too. Maybe their partners’ eyes are like that as well. A ginger-haired girl avoids Chrollo like the plague and Uvogin hasn’t seen that look particularly on her. Apparently, she does in fact beg him for things. With how prideful she acts, Uvogin would pay money to see that.

“He’ll use his,” Uvogin says. He stands up, zipping his pants back to how they used to be. There are a few white stains here and there, but nothing the laundromat wouldn’t fix. “Then you can go home. Okay, princess?”

You’ll get used to this, Uvogin thought to himself. Everyone gets used to things. Even death.

[joker-and-the-queen]

Writing what you think other people want to read over what you want to write will slowly kill your creativity.

Write those self indulgent fics! Write those self-inserts. Write what you find joy in creating—not what you think is an objectively “good” story. If you have fun writing it, it is good. I promise there’s someone out there who will enjoy reading your stories as much as you enjoy writing them.

[chazuramen]

hi sims 2 community, i bring you spooky cousins and gay people

[riacte]

self indulgent idea but i think it would be fun if ao3 allowed authors to pin one (1) of their works so it shows up in front of everything else no matter when it was posted/updated. as a treat.

[haine-kleine]

anyway. the ending was like That because it was Izuku's hero academia. it was his story told from his point of view and it concluded all the plot points he was concerned with, like his relationship with Bakugou, Allmight, the public's opinion on the heroes, what the new generation of heroes is going to be like, how Shouto is perceived by the public, Izuku's general relationship with his former classmates and Aizawa.

he never really cared about Shigaraki outside of their brief confrontation. he didn't really know Shigaraki as a person, and nor was he interested in getting to know him, even when he got the chance to peek into his past, Nana and Allmight had more reason to be interested in who Shigaraki the person was. to Izuku, Shigaraki started as a terrifying villain and ended as a crying boy he was unable to save. this is why, as he joins the rest of his classmates and becomes a pro hero, he imagines the ghost of Shigaraki looking over him, haunting him, reminding him of his failure but also inspiring him to try harder and 'keep reaching out'.

The villains were the ones concerned with their stories. Spinner wrote that book by himself, as Izuku's notes are being written at the point the book has already been published. Izuku never mentions any contents of that book nor Spinner or Mister Compress. Because they do not belong in his story, not really.

They belong with each other, in the League of Villains, as they have proven time and time again how important they are to each other and how far they are willing to go to protect their own. Shigaraki's thoughts before Izuku had killed him were all about the League. Kurogiri's last act was trying to save Shigaraki from AFO and the heroes. What kept Spinner's spirit from crumbling after losing everyone he had cared about was his burning desire to tell their story to others, to let their stories be heard. Touya finds no solace despite getting everything he had ever wanted from his family and being reunited with them - because his place was in the League of villains, the place where he was accepted just as he was, unconditionally.

the conflict of heroes versus the villains led to nothing but devastation and destruction for the villains. even those who were heard out and validated by the other party ended up becoming victims, or martyrs.

after that experience, after having a whole crowd of pro heroes, the people who made it their lives career to save others witness his destruction by the man who stole his body from him and by the boy who swore to save him, why would Shigaraki be interested in keeping in contact with these people, had he survived? why would Kurogiri go out of his way to let Shirakumo's friends know he had survived their students attempt to take his life and the life of the boy he wanted to save, all because they couldn't accept his affection for that boy outweighing their long gone friendship? why would Toga, when the reporters and the heroes saw her body after starting to transfuse all of her blood to Ochako and not even bothered to pick it up, to save her life or even to bury her?

here is how it went: Kurogiri did end up successfully saving Shigaraki, the fact going unnoticed by the heroes because both of their bodies were crumbling. he had also taken Toga, which is why her body wasn't picked up together with Ochako (and why Ochako doesn't have any memories of Toga's dead body, only of her final words to her). and then Kurogiri teleported them far away, where they healed and started planning how to get the remaining three LOV members back, while they are still alive.

they broke Spinner and Compress out of the prisons. In memory of Twice, Hawks had covered it up, as long as they don't resurface as villains.

Shigaraki and Toga had considered letting Touya stay together with his family, up until the news of Endeavor's disgraced villain son being on his deathbed got out. On the very next day, Shigaraki broke the tank Touya was residing in to pieces. Enji and his sidekicks had covered his eldest going missing by holding a funeral ceremony for him (the second one, this time knowing full well it's a fake funeral). Shouto was enraged with his father's decision and Enji used Shouto's just starting pro hero career as an excuse, don't you want to have a clean start, without the weight of mine and Touya's crimes weighting you down? It's not like Shouto has a choice in the matter, just as when he was a kid. The family wonders about the missing one's fate. Sometimes, Shouto gets messages from unknown numbers. He doesn't share them with anyone, except for Natsuo, who is still devastated about not using his one last chance to reconcile with the brother he had been so sorely missing for 8 years.

The ghosts of Toga, Shigaraki and Dabi live on, haunting the heroes who failed to save them. Himiko, Tenko and Touya also live on. They are very different from these ghosts.

[mydearchoso]

geto and a reader with capnolagnia (a fetish/attraction to the smell of cigarette smoke/the act of smoking) and so everytime he wants some puss, he steps out for a few and comes back REEKING of it.

he loves doing it at movie theatres, restaurants, sometimes before he comes to visit you at work or before entering your house. any excuse to make you hot and bothered that inevitably leads to him being dragged to the bathroom or bedroom, sometimes not even bothering to hide it and just doing it right there as discreetly as possible.

he just loves the stark contrast when you go from bright, smiling, and cheery to furrowed brows and rustling thighs. mouth all but watering as you fuck the man to oblivion behind your eyes, before finally pouncing on him.

geto has also certainly fucked you WHILE smoking... slow lazy thrusts as he watches the ash flutter down to rest on your torso. smearing it with his hands as he slides it up to play with your nipple idly. putting the filter to your lips to inhale. all before he's locking your lips with his, grabbing each of your shoulders so hard his nails dig into your flesh. inhaling the smoke from your mouth as he pulls you down towards his hips. his leisurely pace turned cruel and hyper. fucking you like a rabbit who's only goal is to finish before it's heart gives out.

he gets so needy as he exhales the remainder of smoke across your face, watching your expressions as he drills into you ruthlessly. he may be using you like a toy right now, but after a little clean up, when he's put his briefs back on and you're in his shirt, you'll step out onto the back porch for a proper smoke. cuddling on the sun bed and passing the cigarette back and forth. staring up at the stars as you ramble about nothing special as you both bask in the afterglow of your ecstasy... and once you're back inside, who knows? maybe you'll be going at it again.

[tae-rhymeswithslay]

self indulgent cringe content ftw💪💪

i drew myself as casey’s teammate.

thats it. yep, thats the post.

does this count as an author reveal lol? idk, i definitely drew myself way better looking than i actually am in real life

no glasses in the second lil thingie bc i don’t usually wear glasses on the ice

casey is my little pookie bear and i love figuratively punching the ever loving shit out of him 🥰

i will probably be drawing more of these…

[leopardmuffinxo]

what if you didn't run this time? what if you stayed, and let love overtake you?

[etclouie]

his home

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 summary: finding a new girl while on a supply run, and he falls in love with her instantly. (Abraham Ford x plus size fem!reader)

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 setting: Alexandria era before the saviours

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 warnings: kinda suggestive, abe is beyond in love with his bigger gf, written in third person, vague self doubt talk, ooc abraham

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 word count: 974

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 a/n: fully self-indulgent, just sharing my thoughts !

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 twd masterlist | main masterlist

Abraham Ford who finds his now girlfriend while he and Rosita were on a supply run, and cannot take his eyes off of her while they take her back to Alexandria, admiring her and her curves the whole time. 

he waits outside while Deanna does the video interview before accepting her into the community, the biggest grin on his face when he finds out she gets to stay. 

Abraham Ford who wastes no time in getting to know her better, and is practically glued to her side whenever he’s not away on supply runs or on watch duty. 

he wants to know every little thing he can about her, the good and the bad. he wants to know everything. he wants to clear her pretty head of any doubtful thoughts. 

Abraham Ford who after weeks of talking is asked over to her new home, and she offers to make him dinner which clarifies everything in his head. 

that was the night he knew he was asking her to be his girlfriend, and he’s over the moon when she says yes. all her subtle flirting matched with his more intense flirting finally coming into fruition. 

Abraham Ford who is still by her side every minute of the day and over time moves into her house with her, the moving being subtle at first until he goes home to her every night and his belongings gradually find their way into her house. 

when in reality, he’s calling her home. his sanctuary. his safe space. 

Abraham Ford who cuddles into her first thing in the morning, burying his face in the crook of her neck while his arms wrap around her and his hands paw at her plush hips. 

he hums contentedly as her fingers rake through his hair, and he savours every moment wrapped in her arms. his favourite place to be, besides buried between her plush thighs. 

Abraham Ford who becomes clingy to her touch, always wanting to be in her warm arms and will find any excuse to be wrapped up in her touch. 

he’ll come up behind her when cooking and wrap his arms around her waist, hands once more pawing at her hips to pull her into him. 

Abraham Ford who loves every inch of her, and cannot get enough. he’d die a happy man in her arms or between her thighs, he’s not entirely picky. 

wherever she’ll let him bury his head, he’s content with. whatever she’ll give him, he’ll take gladly. 

Abraham Ford who comes home one night and doesn’t find her in her usual spot on the couch, calling out to her softly and hearing her faint sniffles coming from the bedroom. 

pushing open the bedroom door to see her stood in front of a full length mirror, eyes glued to her body as she deemed herself undesirable. 

and he just can’t have that. 

practically marching over to her and wrapping his arms around her, his chin on her shoulder and his eyes meeting hers in the mirror. 

pressing a kiss to her shoulder before meeting her eyes again, his hands soothing along her plush hips while beginning to sway them both softly. 

“what’s wrong?”

watching her shake her head and use her sleeve to wipe at the tears under her eyes before taking hold of his hands. he knew that dismissive look in her eyes, and it made his heart ache. 

his girl didn’t see herself how he seen her, she was the prettiest woman he’d met. 

he’d do anything in his power to make her see what he seen, because he truly didn’t understand how she couldn’t see the beauty he did. 

“baby, listen. you’re so pretty, don’t know how you don’t see it. and these curves”

he punctuated his last point by running his hands across all the curves he could his hands on, moving her own hands across her body as his eyes followed her gaze down her figure. 

“they’re beautiful. you’re beautiful. all of you is beautiful. want you to see what i see, because all i see when i look at you is perfection”

he continued on, his hands soothing across her stomach before taking hold of hers again. lifting their joint left hands to his lips to press a kiss to her knuckles, revelling in the feeling of her nestling in against him, into his arms further. 

“you’re in your head about these curves of yours sweetheart, I don’t get it. they’re beautiful, first thing that caught my eye when I saw you that day. never thought you’d end up liking me back, as if I won the lottery when you said yeah to being my girlfriend”

another kiss to her shoulder as he pulled her closer, big arms around her and holding her against his chest. 

he loved the feeling of her against him. 

her softness and plush curves cushioning his calloused hands as they pawed at her. 

her skin always so soft and inviting, so inviting when he’s had a hard day. all he wants to do is cuddle up to her in their bed, and let her take care of him. 

he felt safe in her arms. 

“you’re stunning sweetheart, just hope you’ll let me show you what i see. even if it takes the rest of our lives, I’m here for you always. think you can let me show you what i see?”

his voice remained soft, eyes searching yours through the reflection as he waited for your reply. nodding softly, hands reaching for his before mumbling out softly. 

“i can do that. thank you Abe, honestly. don’t deserve you sometimes”

watching him shake his head in the mirror, his lips pressing a kiss to your jaw before mumbling out against your skin. 

“none of that, you do deserve me. you deserve all the love you give me”

reblogs are highly appreciated !

[that-butch-archivist]

"For femmes in particular, feminism's failure was its pejorative understanding of femme as equivalent to patriarchally imposed femininity, rather than alternatively a positive understanding of femme as a critical approach to femininity. In its (mis)conception of femme, feminism denied femme its radical and critical nature. In doing so, feminism elided differences of class and race in relation to femininity, therefore not recognizing the range of femininities assumed for divergent purposes across different communities. While feminism's analysis of femininity as oppressive was useful for some women, certainly an understanding of the way that femme femininity is subversive and empowering seems crucial for many women. In reading femininity through femme, our project takes as its subject a femininity that is transgressive, disruptive, and chosen. For example, some women, who might otherwise reject dominant cultural standards of feminine beauty, graft a chosen and empowering femininity onto their bodies as femmes."

-- "An Introduction to Sustaining Femme Gender," written by Laura Harris & Liz Crocker. (Emphasis in bold mine.)

[ejzah]

In Miss Blye’s Class, Part 35

***

The call went better than expected. Monica’s lawyer was surprisingly civil and matter-of-fact, which Deeks appreciated. They agreed to meeting on Tuesday, his lawyer would be in attendance as well, to update the custody agreement. Hopefully they could resolve everything in one sitting, but he was prepared for it to be a prolonged process.

In the meantime, they were rolling into the final week of school, which meant Caleb had a few more assessments to complete. Mostly though, it meant he came home with an increasing number of projects from throughout the year and instructions for celebratory activities.

On Monday night, Deeks stayed up late with Caleb making a costume for the end-of-year party. Caleb had alternated between an artist and pirate for a couple weeks, and only decided last minute that he actually wanted to be Captain America. Thankfully, it was a simple enough design, since Deeks’ sewing and crafting skills were admittedly limited.

“Can you hand me a pin?” Deeks requested, holding out his hand in Caleb’s direction. Caleb carefully placed one in his palm. He balanced on his knees, he watched Deeks work, a pair of scissors held at the ready.

“Daddy, can I ask you a question?”

Deeks tucked the non-pointy end of a needle between his lips, readjusting the pile of fabric in front of him before resuming sewing. “If it’s why the shield is a little asymmetrical, it’s all part of the plan.” Caleb didn’t respond to that, so Deeks nudged him with his foot. “Hey, what’s going on?”

“Is Mommy not coming to visit anymore?” he asked finally.

“I’m not sure, kiddo.“

Caleb dipped his head then, peeking up out of his banks sheepishly. “I heard you talking on the phone the other day with somebody about Mom. You said she couldn’t just show up here anymore whenever she wants,” he admitted reluctantly.

Deeks sighed internally. This was why he tried to conduct most of his personal business while Caleb was at school or asleep. He didn’t fault Caleb for being curious, but sometimes it certainly made life more complicated.

“Come here.” Deeks opened his arms, waiting until Caleb clambered onto his lap. His legs had grown so much in the last couple of years they extended over Deeks’ lap, nearly touching the ground. Once he was settled, Deeks wrapped his arms around him, holding him tight.

“You’re right, I was talking about your mom. Tomorrow we have a meeting to figure out if there’s a way for her to visit more regularly without it being such a big surprise. Now I don’t know if it’s going to work out that way,” Deeks explained. Caleb didn’t say anything, but Deeks could tell he was listening intently. “What do you think about that?”

“Will it always have to be a long visit?”

“It probably won’t be as many days in a row as this last time.”

Caleb nodded, his face contemplative. “I guess that sounds ok,” he decided. Taking one of Deeks’ hands, he started forming his fingers into various configurations. He gave a little sigh that was too heavy for a five year old. “I love Mommy, but sometimes it’s hard to be with her. Does that make sense.”

“It makes a lot of sense.“ Deeks kissed the top of his head. “I wish is was easier.”

“Me too.”

Deeks patted his thigh, scooching him back on the floor. “C’mon, let’s get this costume finished up before it’s time to wake up for school.”

***

Deeks took a half day on Tuesday for the meeting with Monica. When he reached the office where they were meeting, Monica had already arrived. For once, she didn’t attempt to flirt or intimidate him, outside of a pointed look before she turned back to talk with her lawyer.

Three hours later, Deeks walked out, exhausted, but cautiously optimistic. Assuming Monica didn’t come back with any changes, they’d successfully modified the custody agreement.

Kensi was supposed to come over for dinner, so Deeks rushed to pick up Caleb, and grabbed pizza on the way home. While Caleb finished up the tiny bit of homework assigned, Deeks tossed the pizzas in a couple of skillets to reheat. It was hardly a gourmet meal, but he figured Kensi would forgive him.

The doorbell rang while he was in the middle of throwing together a very simple salad of lettuce, cucumbers, tomatoes, and avocado.

“Caleb, can you get that? Check to make sure it’s Kensi before you unlock the door, ok?” he requested in between dicing a small cucumber.

“Kay!” He ran off, his bare feet slapping against the floor. Deeks heard the indistinct sound of his and Kensi’s voices.

“Hey.” Kensi wrapped her arms around him from behind, and kissed his neck. He grinned, twisting his neck so he could reach her mouth.

“Hey. I think I could get used to this.”

“Mm. Thanks for feeding me again. It smells delicious,” she said, snatching a piece of cucumber from the cutting board.

“I’ll pass it on to Peter, my pizza guy. How was your day?” he asked. He offered Kensi a handful of clean lettuce leaves, which she accepted with a smile.

“Chaotic, but that’s to be expected at this point. Even the kids who love school are ready to break out. The ten thousand and one activities paired with candy and ice cream parties doesn’t exactly help,” she answered.

“Yeah, I noticed. Caleb spent the entire drive home singing and bouncing in his seat.”

“I’m sorry about that. It’s only three more days though.”

“I know it’s, crazy. I don’t think I’m ready for first grade,” he said, shaking his head. Kensi made a sympathetic face.

“Aw, you’ll be ok. And so will Caleb.” Moving around the kitchen with familiarity, Kensi got out three place settings, and started placing them in the usual spots around the table.

Deeks checked the bottoms of the pizzas, which had browned up nicely, and he turned off the heat, sliding each pizza onto a large cutting board.

“Hey, earlier you mentioned something about a surprise,” he said as he worked. “Do I get to hear all the juicy details?”

“Yes, but tell me about the meeting today. I kept thinking about you all afternoon.” Retrieving two cold beers from the fridge, Kensi sat down, patting the chair beside her.

Deeks groaned, feeling everyone of his 30-some years. “It went as well as can be expected. We drafted a new custody agreement. Monica will get two days of visitation per month, at a secondary location we both agree on. We initially suggested more, but she said that she couldn’t agree to that commitment at the current time,” Deeks explained. He rubbed his eyes and groaned again. “I really wish it hadn’t come to this.”

“Do you think she’ll follow through?” Kensi asked, distractedly nibbling on another piece of cucumber.

“I honestly have no idea,” Deeks admitted. He sighed heavily, shaking his head, and Kensi rubbed his shoulder comfortingly. “She could either come because she actually wants to see Caleb consistently now, to prove a point, or just skip out again.”

“I’m sorry. For Caleb’s sake, I hope she does.”

“Yeah. At least now we should have fewer unexpected visits, which is all I wanted.”

“You made the right choice,” Kensi assured him. He appreciated it; he’d probably always question his decision to a degree, but it helped that Kensi didn’t think he was a complete monster. “Alright, now you tell me about your secret. Are you moving to Aruba, joining a traveling circus, buying me a puppy?”

Kensi snorted. “Not quite. A few weeks ago, I applied for a teaching position at University of California, Los Angeles, and today I got a call saying they’d like to hire me. So, I’ll be teaching a couple of Spanish classes this summer,” Kensi shared, unable to hold back a grin.

“Kensi, that’s fantastic!” Deeks exclaimed, getting up and picking her up to swing around the room. She tilted her head back, laughing in obvious delight. He set her back down again, keeping one hand on her waist. “Why didn’t you tell me about this before?”

“You were dealing with all the Monica stuff and I didn’t want to add anything else to your plate.” She folded her hand over his. “Besides, I wasn’t really sure that they’d even offer me an interview. If it didn’t go anywhere, I wanted to wallow all on my own.”

“Hey, I will always wallow with you. I’m great at it. We’ll get some wine, cookies, make a whole night of it,” Deeks said.

“You’re ridiculous.” She kissed him softly, her lips lingering long enough that he felt a tingle of warmth building in his chest. When Kensi pulled back, she brushed his hair back from his forehead. “I love it. And you.”

“Love you too.” They kissed again, this time for just a few seconds

“You know, this kind of news deserves a celebration. We’ve got wine and mint Oreos. Only the best for you.”

“Now how could I say no to an offer like that,” Kensi teased, untangling her arms from around him. “I’m going to go wrangle Caleb while you dig out those Oreos.”

Wiggling her eyebrow ridiculously, Kensi walked out to the sound of Deeks’ laughter.

[ataraxiaspainting]

The Floor is Breathing.

Yan Overhaul x F Reader. 

Synopsis: You feel like both the witness and the victim in an uncommitted crime.

Warnings: Yandere themes, kidnapping, manipulation, stalking/non-consensual recording, mentions of binge eating, and some infantilization.

Word Count: 1k.

*~*~*~*

You can swear that these white walls blink.

Something, somewhere here, has eyes that look you up and down – you feel its breath on the back of your neck when you fall asleep facing a wall, the only decorated wall you have ever seen in this facility, actually. 

You’re not crazy. You have to remind yourself day in and day out of that fact, but you’re not crazy; you know another living being is in here with you, watching attentively.

Overhaul – no, “Kai” is what he forces you to call him now, says that there are no cameras in your room, but your gut screams otherwise.

You asked if he was sure, once, two days or four days, or six days ago – it should still be recent as you did not feel as isolated as you do now – and he responded by saying if he really wanted to keep a closer eye on you, he would just become your new roommate.

You’re unsure as to if that was a threat. He seemed happy when those words came out of his masked mouth, so perhaps it was just some unfunny gest. He made those sometimes, especially when he tries to coax you into taking vitamins every mealtime. Those jokes were as dull as the light brown and white pills piled up in a little cup meant for dipping sauces. Perhaps it was repurposed or Kai had ordered some from somewhere or he has some restaurant under his control somewhere.

Somewhere so dirty and filled with sugar and oils and artificial coloring. You’d die for just a sniff of pizza being served at an all-you-can-eat buffet or deep-fried cakes being served at a pop-up carnival. If health inspectors didn’t approve of such spots, or at the very most give them a C rating, then Kai wouldn’t go within two blocks of them. Much less let you. You’d stuff yourself to the brim like it is your last meal and compared to the boiled chicken and rice and broccoli you were given daily, chips and cookies may as well be.

A call of your name makes reality come back faster than a slap to the face – and hurts just as much.

“I asked you something, sweetheart. What do you want to do today?” Kai asks.

He didn’t seem angry or irritated as he repeated himself. His voice was still soft and the way he taps his foot against the pastel pink heart carpet reflects that. Times like these almost make you wish you were deaf. The words feel rehearsed but also feel as though they are straight from the heart like the actor was passionate enough in reciting their lines or was grossly in love with the story of the show. 

“I don’t know,” Unlike Kai, you forget your script quite often – aside from that one saying.

“You don’t know?” He’s still smiling. You know it.

“No.” You murmur. He puts an elbow on the small white table, stabilizing his head with his gloved hand. “I don’t.”

“I have some ideas,” The feeling of dread makes your stomach drop. Or was it your heart? Lungs, perhaps? You don’t know how to breathe right now, after all.

“I… don’t know, Kai.”

“You said that already.”

For your sanity, you choose to look at your freshly remade bed instead of his eyes. The rabbit plush you were given on your third or so day here lays alone on top of your singular pillow. The bars surrounding the sides reminded you of a crib. You’re only allowed to put your legs over the railing when Kai comes to your room in the morning and you’re not allowed to get out by yourself; he grabs your hand to assist you.

“Do you want to know what my ideas are?”

You’re not allowed to say no to anything Kai suggests. It’s an unspoken rule, unlike the ones for your room. “Um… okay…”

“Well,” Kai begins, his other arm being laid out on the table. His palm is facing upwards and you know what that means.

Your hand moves towards his – you try your best not to flinch this time in response to his slight grip, but you fail.

Kai chooses not to notice it for now. Just a small treat for this morning’s hug.

“I was thinking we could go to my office. Just for a change of scenery.” His thumb moves back and forth across your knuckles. “We could bring your colored pencils or your book if you’d like. It’s still noon, so we have some time before your daily check-in.”

“Okay…”

*~*~*~*

You had opted for your book in the end, although you regret your choice now because two of the four walls in Kai’s office have windows, and just outside of them were uncrowded streets that lead up to small hills on either side. The hue of the grass was off – a dull brown – but considering it was about time for autumn to roll around, you didn’t judge. Not that you could, anyway.

Could you ask to go back and get your colored pencils? You attempt to dismiss the thought by imagining future possibilities. Kai seems to be working on his computer right now though, and the guards outside wouldn’t let you leave by yourself anyway.

To hell with it, you think. It’s fine. He won’t get mad. 

At least… you hope so.

You walk over slowly until you are nearly touching his left shoulder. “Can I please get my colored-”

It’s you, from different angles and at different times of day – even some videos of you before you were kidnapped. They are of you sleeping, of you eating, of you looking under your bed. They are of you putting on socks, of you microwaving dinner after a long workday, of you talking on the phone with friends for hours. They are long and short – you can see some of them even repeat. Oh fuck. Is there a camera in this room too, or-

Before you can continue analyzing, Kai slams his laptop shut.

“Go back to reading, sweetheart.” It’s an order – you know it from the way he does not blink and the way his arms cross. He didn’t want you to see his screen; that fact is as clear as a cloudless sky. “You can color another day, okay?”

[jester089]

The more the merrier

I was gonna sleep but my brain wouldn't let me until I wrote about that concept I brought up in past writing. The one where it glitches and their is more then one of a character. I'm gonna say that they kind of have a hivemind too. Cause I want to. If you want where this was originally brought up look for "A well deserved a#$ kicking (Part 2)" as that's where I first though of it. As this is entirely delf indulgent it's only gonna have my favs in my fav situations. But if yall like it enough ie I get a request I can do more characters. Or just go into more detail.

TADC crew x Reader

Gangle (Receiving)

She can be a lot to handle on her own as she has a lot of very overwhelming emotions. Now their's two of her. Good luck! That means double the problems and double the masks to fix. But it's worth. At first for good reason walking in on two Gangle's was surprising. First place your mind went to is it's a adventure or something from Caine. So you took the two Gangle's to see him only for him to be surprised when seeing them. He explained how this wasn't his doing then tried in vain to get rid of one. Welp now you have two emotional girlfriends. Lucky mf. Before when their was just one Gangle she had the tendency to wrap around you during cuddles or just when she wanted to be close to you, but now their's two of them so when that happens you get half mummified until they decide they've had enough. 10/10, your so incredibly lucky you get that. I would fight/kill so many people to get what you have.

Gangle (Giving)

Gangle was relaxing in her room enjoying having a day without a ton of weirdness in it when she heard some incredibly rapid knocking and doorbell ringing. She gets up and opens the door only to come face to face with two of you! The cinnamon roll could barely handle one of you teasing her and being affectionate with her. And now their's two. She might just pass away right then and there. Well at least she doesn't have to worry about Jax anymore. You would rock his s^#$ when their was just one of you, now their's two. If he knows what's good for him he'll stop messing with you and Gangle. And when you stand on either side of her like body guards she can and will get incredibly flustered. Before when you would help out Gangle and the others with things you would be good but clearly overwhelmed. But now you get things done incredibly quickly. Gangle's mask repair time was shortened from a day or so to less then an hour. 10/10. She's overwhelmed and overstimulated, but happy.

Ragatha (Receiving)

Ragatha was an amazing S/O at the worst of times able to handle so much on her own. Now double that. Way I see this going is she has one of her with you at all times making sure you're ok while the other helps out the others. Only time you have to be alone now is if something big goes wrong and more then one Ragatha is needed to fix it properly. Ragatha's hugs before were tight, tight enough for you to need a second to recover after each one just from the sheer force and love put into each one. Now you have to deal with that doubled, whether that mean double the amount or a Ragatha on either side of you squeezing your life essence out. 10/10, while she's around you don't have to deal with anything and you get two overwhelmingly loving partners.

Ragatha (Giving)

Ragatha got back to her room after a long and tiring day. She walks in to see you laying on her bed in a jokingly seductive way. She smiles and rolls her eyes then moves towards you. Once in bed with you she feels someone gently hug her from behind and freaks the f&#$ out. She full on socked second you in the face hard enough to leave a dent and knock you out of bed. You quickly get up to help yourself and make sure you ok while Ragatha stares at you two in disbelief. She ask what's going on and you explain how you woke up with a clone and how you went to see Caine only for him to not know what to do. You apologize for scaring her you just couldn't resist. You two sit down on the bed on either side of her causing her to blush and not know who to look at while you two talk in sync. Once she is more accustomed to all this and realizes that it's you, just times two. She will really really enjoy double cuddles from you two. And will definitely enjoy the feeling of being picked up and held on you two's shoulders. 10/10, flustered but happy.

Jax (Receiving)

Get ready for a whole lot of teasing. He teased you a lot before, now their's two. Good luck! He, of course first used it as a prank. He would be relaxing in your room with you then ask you to grab something from his room. When you get there he's laying on the bed in a teasingly seductive way and greets you. You, confused go back to your room only to find him in the exact same pose on your bed too. So either he knows a really fast and secretive shortcut or he learned how to teleport. You stand in your rooms door staring at him stunned when you feel a gentle hand on your shoulder. You turn to see Jax. You have to like quintuple take and look between the two so many times before freezing. Overall it would be the more of the same. But do be warned if you show one of him more attention/affection the other can and will get jealous. 8.5/10, way to overwhelming and hard to deal with.

Jax (giving)

You just like Jax, youused it as a prank. Yours was a little more mean though cause he deserved it from all his teasing. Jax was walking around looking for you cause he had something to show you. He caught a glimpse of you walking towards the rooms and follows behind. He sees you go into your room and is about to follow before he sees you walk out of his room. You wave at him then keep walking while he's stunned. He turns around and is about to follow you to show the thing before you walk out of your room. Ok he's confused. He walks up to you and asks about it. But you play dumb to it. You keep that shtick up for a few days only stopping when he started to genuinely believe he was looking his mind. Their being two of you will make it much harder for Jax to do anything mean or teasing as if he does you can easily return it ten fold. 9/10. Having two of you is the only real way to handle one Jax.

Pomni (Receiving)

Oh gosh. She had the tendency to spiral when their was just one of her. Now their's two so she spirals and breaks down 2x more and 2x faster. You're going to have your hands full, if you want this to not end badly you better hope your a god at comforting her. Before she easily got overwhelmed by your affection and attention but is ever so slightly better at handling it now that their's two of her. I can 100% see you walking around a Pomni on each shoulder which she both loves and hates, loves cause she gets to be close to you and feel special, hate because it feels so public and she feels like she sticks out when you do that. Before she could kind of handle being alone for a while. Now, not so much. So I hope you're ready to spend an unhealthy amount of time with her just to keep her alive. 5/10, she's lovely but she's got a lot of problems. And when their's two of her those problems multiply by a lot.

Pomni (Giving)

Now this will end well. Having two incredibly supportive and loving people who know when you need attention could help just about anyone. When you first found out you did your best to ease her into it. You knocked on her door only one of you there and told her that you had something to show her. Something that could cause a panic attack. She was worried but with your encouragement and knowing that'll you be there with her helped. So she followed you to your room. You opened the door for her and gestured inside. She looked inside to see another you sitting on your bed looking awkward. Once the initial shock has worn off she'll actually really enjoy it. She likes laying on one of you as a mattress while the other gives her attention. 10/10, helps her with her problems and she's surprisingly good at handling both of your attention at once.

(I really REALLY enjoyed writing this. I don't expect others to enjoy this as much as it's definitely more in my tastes but still. I hope you enjoyed it. And the things I would do to be in that situation, sadly best I can do is write about it.)

xoxo, Jester

[kyouka-supremacy]

Okay about Beast sskk; because I realized I've got a very definite picture of what the Beast post-canon is like that is only in my mind and I never actually put down, so here we go. Very needed content warning of sickeningly fluff and Beast sskk being disgustingly in love with each other, I suppose.

After Dazai killed himself, Atsushi is reasonably tormented, and can't sleep at night. Roaming across Yokohama late at night, he always ends up at Akutagawa's– instinctively, unconsciously, to an extent even unwillingly. He doesn't choose to, it's more about countless nights unable to sleep spent wandering with no destination and still always finding himself in front of Akutagawa's place for some reason. Akutagawa somehow always knowing when it's going to happen so that he can face him before Atsushi has time to hesitate and run away. How they don't really need words or explanations most of the time, how for Atsushi knowing that there's another person who understands is enough, and everything he needs. How before Atsushi realizes it (and thus keeping him from trying and prevent it), Akutagawa's house has become the only place where he can fall asleep.

That's how they start living together before even being together. They might not even have an actual “getting together” moment, you know? The development of their relationship is so natural and spontaneous, it was meant to end that way from the beginning. Besides, Beast sskk don't really need words between them, so... I suppose an actual confession, albeit nice, would be almost superfluous.

Soon enough they move together to a small apartment near the ada (I'm assuming Atsushi has still enough money saved from his old job). Against popular belief, with time it kind of crystallized in me the idea that Atsushi wouldn't join the ada? His life to that point has constantly been doused by violence and pain and death, he deserves a long break to cope with all the trauma; throwing him right back to another environment where he's constantly pushed to fight and use his ability would not do any good to his mental health; especially when he's got such a conflictual and hating relationship with Byakko, even worse than it is in canon. I wasn't kidding about the house husband thing. Beast Atsushi stays home and chills down and is safe and away from all major sources of stress and triggering environments. Slowly, with time, he goes out more often, gradually relearns what normality is supposed to be like, and bit by bit all his traumatic experiences get more distant, and the nightmares more rare. Akutagawa follows up with his ada job– obviously! There's a whole deal in the end about how important it is for him to keep doing his job and trying to be good. I do believe the ada is the right place for Akutagawa. He returns home to Atsushi who always welcomes him with warmth and joy, and they cuddle a lot.

But I also believe that there would be times when Atsushi is required to go back to action and fight– he's not a member of the ada and he doesn't work for them, but it's obvious that when the ada is in danger and Yokohama is facing serious threats, the guild and the rats and ultimately the doa, the times will call for his intervention. He usually comes to help or rescue Akutagawa, a trump card of sorts. And it's endearing, how Akutagawa is always the one, even among the ada, most contrary on getting Atsushi involved, how he wants to protect him and keep him away, how more than anything he wants him to be safe. As for Atsushi, I really like the concept of this man who retired from action, that spends most of his time at home or chatting with the seniors in the neighborhood, who joins the fight only when the situation is most desperate and reveals himself to be the most powerful and destructive beast to have ever walked on earth. He reluctantly fights, and together with Akutagawa they end up saving the day for everyone, because as Dazai himself said nothing can stop the both of them together.

On the other hand, when the world isn't ending Atsushi solves that very specific role of crime drama protagonist's husband who's very supportive of their partner and listens to them ramble at home about their cases. He often offers useful insights on how criminal organizations work.

Atsushi didn't replace his collar after it broke. They're barely visible under his turtleneck, but he has now wrapped bandages in its place: to hide his scars, to keep the memory of Dazai with him everywhere he goes, to remember what he's lost but also what he's gained.

Ah, and when it comes to the fight against Fukuchi, Atsushi is the one to die for Akutagawa, of course.

Headcanons that directly contradict something stated above but that I still like:

Sskk get together after six months– it's got an ironic taste to it, the timestamp their canon counterparts set to kill each other now being the time they declared their love to each other. It's so soon, but also is it really? They immediately clicked the moment they met each other, and they were always destined to be. At that point, there's no one in the world they need more than they need each other.

In case of Atsushi still wearing the collar for some time after the canon events: sskk had their first kiss when Atsushi took the collar off for the first time. Ever since Dazai died, Atsushi is haunted and unstable; he's throughout scared of taking off the collar, terrified by the idea of hurting someone unintentionally, now that Dazai can't be there to controll him (both through his ability and by the general power he used to have over Atsushi's psyche). Akutagawa sees how much Atsushi is physically hurting, and insists on him taking the collar off; they fight over it for months (verbally, for the most part, except for a couple of times when the fights become physical– but without abilities), before Akutagawa finally manages to convince Atsushi to take it off for a few hours. When they're alone, because after months of being persuaded, Atsushi can trust Akutagawa to be able to defend himself; and also something about “you would never hurt me”. Thing is, when Atsushi finally takes it off, he quickly spirals into a HUGE panic attack, not able to trust himself not to harm the people he cares about; and the only person around is Akutagawa, and he cares about him deeply. The tiger is taking over, and Akutagawa is panicking, and he's desperately looking for a way to quickly ground Atsushi so he just. Kisses him. Which effectively works in the way it immediately distracts Atsushi, as well as causes him to zone out for several minutes. Akutagawa immediately apologizes, and then panics again when Atsushi doesn't answer for a while. It's kinda cute. After that, Atsushi gradually learns to take his collar off more and more often; this time, he can really trust that, if Akutagawa is with him, everything is going to be okay.

[shannonsketches]

he's so important to me