#self destruction king

[crybaby-bkg]

okay but like……….toxic Dabi that wants everything you two have built together to crumble so badly. not because he hates it, or is getting bored of you, but because the calmness that falls around you and your relationship with him is…..baffling, to say the least. he’s used to destruction and chaos and flings and heartbreak and angst. he’s not used to being invited in, to being welcomed, to being accepted, to being loved. it’s foreign, and it’s starting to make a knot form in the pit of his belly every time he’s with you.

he’s fucking you one night, rolls you over so he’s on top again, and gets this look on his face. you can tell by now what it is—he’s in his head again, wondering how he can fuck up your relationship this time. so you take it with a grain of salt when he opens his big, dumb mouth suddenly.

“What if I just trapped you right now? Just held you down, and came inside of you? Put a baby in you?” His voice is eerily quiet under the sounds of your skin slapping together, the squelching from between your legs. you only reach up to stroke his cheek, pulling him down to kiss him quiet, whispering against his mouth,

“If you wanna get me pregnant, then just say that.” You tell him, eyes fluttering open to watch his squeeze shut. “I can make an appointment with my gyno to start preparing my body for it.” You’re so reassuring, that it disarms him. Dabi only nods, quiet finally, and doesn’t pull out when he cums.

or other times, when you’re making dinner for him, standing in your brightly lit kitchen in your underwear and his ratty shirt. he watches you with his chin in his palm, that same look gracing his face. you can practically feel him burning holes into the already hole filled shirt, and prepare yourself for his questions again.

“I could just whisk you away right now, you know that?” He mutters, eyes never leaving your form, your ass that peeks out. “Put you in a basement, far away from here.” And you disarm him again, walking over to where he sits with a wooden spoon in one hand, the other holding a palm underneath it.

“You wanna move? My apartment is feeling a little cramped these days.” You mumble, offering the spoon to his mouth. Dabi watches you for a few seconds before he opens his mouth, accepting the spoon, chewing as he eyes you warily before swallowing.

“Where were you thinking of moving to?” you ask him, wiping the corner of his mouth as he glares at you. but he tells you anyway, that he’s been looking at houses a few minutes away from here, that he saw one with three bedrooms and a big backyard.

other instances include him telling you that he could chain you down and keep you at his side forever and you ask him, when do you want to get married? or, that you try to kill him every time you cook and you ask him, what flavors am I missing for you? or, when he hides his face in your neck and curses about how much he can’t stand you or your stability or your stupid face or kind words and you ask him, when did you realize you loved me this much?

[iowaisms]

Ipecac having a little dance!

... Right next to a stairwell that could kill him if he fell.

[squids-and-waffles7]

characters who hate themselves so much that they physically rip theirselves in half my beloved

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

jon val jon or something

[prideprejudce]

I feel like people have read into Alicent's response to Rhaenyra's ultimatum in both good AND bad faith ways, but i feel like I haven't seen much of what Rhaenyra was feeling about it!!

Personally, I feel like the ultimatum she gave Alicent was the product of 3 different motivations- first, it was the obvious political move to kill the usurper to her throne, duh. The second, is that I think Rhaenyra is super aware- and terrified of- being trapped in a cycle of loss, being passed over for a son, and her claim to the throne standing only because of what she represents not her as a person. Thats its own whole fascinating character essay i cant get into here lol.

But the third reason is that I THINK she has a desperate personal obsession with being chosen by Alicent over Aegon, and leans into the ultimatum as a way to extract what she needs from Alicent-- to be chosen and prioritized over her father's son, and be the centre of Alicent's attention (romantic or not).

The directors/writers have mentioned one of the crucial aspects of Rhaenyra and Alicent's relationship is how many times Rhaenyra reaches out, only to be rejected by Alicent over and over. I think Rhaenyra, as someone who really internalized going after what she wants from a young age, is a bit spoiled, and is obsessed with Alicent's continuous rejection as both a novelty, and a deep source of insecurity.

Rhaenyra has a bit of magical thinking where she really does think that if she just pushes hard enough she can change the world into the shape she wants it to be, and I think when Alicent CONTINUES to deny her, she gets more and more frustrated.

Double this with her general issues around being passed over for a son, first from her father with baelon, and then COMPOUNDED with baby aegon stealing both her father AND alicent's attention as alicent prioritized birthing and probably caring for her son over rhaenyra's sulking when Rhaenyra was in the most pain she had been in yet in her life.

I think Rhaenyra is HIGHLY resentful about not just aegon usurping her throne, but also the lack of attention during the HEIGHT of her teenage years, where she already has a contentious relationship with her father AND .....stepmother?? first love??? sister?? (targaryen family incest issues are a wonderful icing on top of this cake)

It was very clear that the reason Alicent married viserys was SPECIFICALLY to have more children, and that Alicent CHOSE (from Rhaenyra's perspective) to put herself in that position JUST after Aemma died from the same cause, becoming a mother rather than staying with Rhaenyra and daydreaming about riding off into the sunset. In Rhaenyra's mind, she lost her mother to the promise of a son, only to lose Her Alicent™️ to ANOTHER promise of a son right after. This is probably the deepest rejection Alicent could have given her.

The entire second half of season 2 is more denial; Rhaenyra's marriage proposal of their children is rejected, Alicent rejects Rhaenyra's bastard sons in general, and Rhaenyra's choices by extension, then driftmark happens, then the ENTIRE USURPTION happens, rejecting Rhaenyra's claim to her own birthright.

Rhaenyra even tries AGAIN in season 3 - extending herself to go into Alicent's place of comfort to sue for peace, even telling Alicent bits of a personally sacred religious doctrine only to be rejected AGAINNNNNNN.

(I could write forever about how Rhaenyra indulges Alicent's religious but never gets the same back on her own customs)

Yah, I think when Rhaenyra sees Alicent next, its not just that the ultimatum is a political necessity, but its decades of rejection culminating in 'you need to choose and prioritize me over everything, including your son, bc i cannot take anymore rejection from you, and I cant handle NOT being the most important thing in your whole world tbh :)' Especially on the heels of her newfound radicalization i feel like Rhaenyra sees Alicent's 'Choosing Rhaenyra' this time as a Holy Blessing and the last crucial piece she needs to self actualize.

(Also never forget all of this takes place in the targaryen CESSPOOL that is Rhaenyra having Alicent as a sister/step mother/half employee?? Alicent was at least her subordinate at one point/only confidante/possible first love-- theres probably alot of projection on Rhaenyra's part for what Alicent's approval means to her)

sorry this is so long the word rejection has ceased to mean anything to me at this point

"Rhaenyra sees Alicent's 'choosing Rhaenyra' this time as a Holy Blessing and the last crucial piece that she needs to self actualize"

what if we all just set each other on fire

[sesamenom]

@general-illyrin @tar-thelien @who-needs-words I think you all mentioned being interested in the reverse gondolin au - is anyone interested in helping with wrangling the timelines, especially the second age stuff? Here's the current outline:

(Edit: anyone feel free to help out if you're interested!)

YT 14365 - Birth of Lomion

YT 14373/FA 1 - Death of Argon

FA

2 - Aredhel adopts Lomion

300 - Birth of Idril

316 - Turgon & Idril kidnapped by Eol

400 - Turgon & Idril rescued. Death of Eol

465 - Finrod more-peacefully passes throne to orodreth while on Quest. Everyone except beren still dies

472 - Nirnaeth. Turgon named High King of the Noldor.

476 - Turgon abdicates official title. Aredhel named High King of the Noldor.

496 - Tuor comes to Gondolin

502 - Wedding of Idril and Tuor

503 - Births of Earendil and Elwing. Idril begins to have foresight dreams about the Fall.

506 - Second Kinslaying. C^3 dead, celebrimbor stays in gondolin. Aredhel denounces the oath/kinslaying and disowns C^3

Elwing survives & is found by Oropher & Thranduil // Galadriel & Celeborn. oropher, thranduil, oropher's wife, and thranduil's then-gf // galadriel & celeborn take Elwing to Gondolin as refugees. The Silmaril is left hidden in the woods of melian's domain.

507 - Elwing comes to Gondolin.

509 - Idril captured by Morgoth. Idril reveals the location of Gondolin in exchange for an Oath to not harm her family (Turgon, Tuor, and Earendil). Idril rescued.

510 - Gondolin prepares for war with Morgoth.

513-522 - Siege of Gondolin. Deaths of Duilin and Rog. Gothmog slain by Aredhel the Huntress. First use of the Three Rings by Lomion and Celebrimbor in defense of Gondolin. House of the Hammer of Wrath destroyed.

523 - Maedhros believes a Silmaril is with Elwing at Gondolin.

525 - Earendil weds Elwing. Lomion weds ???. Adoption of Gil-Galad

532 - Births of Elrond and Elros.

538 - Third Kinslaying at Gondolin. Death of Amras. Elrond and Elros kidnapped by Maglor. Deaths of Elwing and Turgon. Second use of the Three Rings by Lomion and Celebrimbor. Deaths of Maedhros and Aredhel. Lomion named King of Gondolin and High King of the Noldor. Deaths of Salgant, Penlod, and Tuor. Earendil named Lord of the House of the Wing.

540-549 - War declared between Gondolin and the Feanorians of Himring over the Third Kinslaying and kidnapping of Princes Elrond and Elros.

549 - Elrond and Elros recovered. Feanorians and Gondolin severely weakened. Celebrimbor // Gil-Galad declared heir to the High Kingship.

552-554 - Second Siege & Fall of Gondolin. Third use of the Three Rings by Lomion and Celebrimbor. Deaths of Ecthelion, Glorfindel, Egalmoth, and Turgon. Idril and Celebrimbor lead survivors through the Secret Way.

555 - Gondolithlim refugees arrive at Sirion.

556 - Idril departs for Valinor.

558 - Earendil searches for Valinor.

560 - Havens of Sirion destroyed by Morgoth. Gondolithlim/Doriathrim survivors scattered. Elrond and Elros rescued (as adults) by Maglor.

572 - Morgoth controls Beleriand. Earendil and reembodied Elwing come to Valinor and rally the Host.

575-617 - War of Wrath

618 - Maglor claims the Silmaril from Eonwe's camp and casts himself into the Sea. Death of Maglor.

620 - End of the First Age.

SA

1 - Founding of the Grey Havens and Lindon under High King Lomion

2 - Elros becomes the first King of Numenor

c. 500 - Sauron returns to Middle-Earth in the East.

650 - Eregion is founded

1000 - Galadriel is given Vilya; Lomion wields Nenya

1170 - Annatar comes to Lindon and Lomion turns him away. Lomion warns Celebrimbor of Eregion of his suspicions.

1200 - Annatar comes to Eregion. Celebrimbor takes him in to monitor.

1250 - Celebrimbor creates the Seven; Lomion creates the Nine.

1410 - Annatar is kicked out of Eregion.

1600 - The One Ring is forged. Sauron remains in hiding.

1610 - Sauron begins to gather and prepare armies in the East.

1673 - War of the Elves and Sauron begins.

1675 - Sauron invades Eriador.

1677 - Fall of Ost-in-Edhil. Celebrimbor and Lomion remain at the House of the Mirdain. Death of Celebrimbor in battle // Fourth use of the Three in battle. Sauron does not learn of the Seven. Founding of Imladris.

1678 - Sauron defeated by the Numenoreans and the Elves of Lindon.

1679 - Sauron flees to Mordor. First White Council held.

3147 - Civil war in Numenor.

3225 - Ar-Pharazon seizes the Sceptre.

3228 - Elrond claims the Sceptre. Ar-Pharazon disowned. Tar-Miriel named Ruling Queen.

3232 - Sauron taken to Numenor as a prisoner.

3274 - Elrond kicks Sauron out of Numenor and outlaws the morgoth cult.

3310 - Morgoth cult publicly reappears.

3319 - Downfall of Numenor. Tar-Miriel leads a greater force of the Faithful away.

(green // blue means two main options, red means i need to think about it more)

The main details I'm figuring out right now are

does Celebrimbor still die at Eregion - I don't think he's getting captured/tortured, but he could still die in the battle. On the other hand, he could probably survive by using Narya & Lomion using Nenya, but that would definitely have repercussions further down the line

how does Idril's deal work - I'm currently thinking of Idril exchanging the location of Gondolin for her family's guaranteed safety, because it seems in character for Reverse Idril? But on the other hand, even if I limit it to immediate family at the time of the oath (tuor, turgon, earendil) then idk where turgon dies? Maybe Maglor can kill him but that seems kind of random

where and how does Turgon die

how does Prince Elrond's character even work

how does Numenor still fall when factoring in Prince Elrond - I'm thinking that the morgoth death cult gained enough traction during the time sauron was there that even after Elrond kicks him out, the cult still sticks around and reemerges later? The Fall still happens, but they never go to attack valinor and there's a good deal more Faithful (maybe 40-60%?)

[vee-isaweirdartist]

click for better quality

Another part of the main drama, some missions can change or, even be forgotten once you find no reason to fulfilling them..

[not-iceking]

Simon, I'm sorry if this is a touchy subject, but what are those scars on your arms from? Are they even scars?

not yet, thank glob.

...

marcy would never forgive me if i did

[cockworkangels]

i think we'd both be better off dead!

dean / enemy - hollywood undead

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

something about qbad mentioning how much horror he put red team thru every time purgatory gets brought up... something about how proud dapper was of him.

like this is just my late-night read but- it feels like guilt qbad is trying to twist into pride. he keeps needling away at it. “i killed them all, over and over and over again.” “they were hunted by a monster.”

it’s like- reassurance. like a nail he’s trying o beat into his head. he’s had SO much trouble with legitimately hurting his friends, despite making that vow all the way back when the eggs first went missing, despite all the tree talk and the promises to save the kids no matter what. He never faltered with elq, and that protected them. He keeps faltering now. Sometimes he doesnt remember the code, or cucurucho, or skeppy. But that doesnt matter, right? Because he’ll protect the eggs. He’ll be the monster. he is the monster. he can and he will protect them even as his seams start ripping and he keeps breaking further and further apart. even at his worst, he’ll do whatever he needs to protect the eggs.

he’ll be the monster. wont he?

[cantdanceflynn]

I wasn't originally gonna post anything not phineas and ferb as bc im not self confident about how I draw any other characters but like. I dunno I'm proud of these.

ALSO. No one tell me if my loop is sif kinda theory is correct I'm only on the fourth act

[raajasii]

// For your viewing pleasure

^ hear me out.........

STILL HE'S CUTE AS HEEEEEELLLLLL

[newtabfics]

Can I request that f!reader learn archery from totk Ganondorf PLEASE?

I love that Ganondorf is so skillful his bow....😇

it's going in the redeemed gan series :3 we'll say this is after they have accepted their feelings for each other and are together but also UHHHH my mind ran a little and i kinda made it more than just learning archery OKAY BYE--

Triggers for TECHNICALLY self-harm? Like not like THAT but like...ignoring the pain kinda thing? Idk how to label this so I'm playing it safe.

Y/N blinked as the arrow pierced into the target. "Nicely done," Link praised, nodding to Ganondorf. "Looks like your body remembers the skill at least."

Ganondorf nodded, studying the target as he shifted the bow in his hand before blinking. He studied Link's expression for a moment before scoffing. "You want to test my sword next?"

"Later…And when we have more space to work with," he muttered, looking around.

The three stood in the road, aiming at a target with the waterfall behind Paya's home roaring gently. Zelda and the leader both sat on a bench behind them, watching the two fire off arrows as Y/N studied their bodies carefully.

"Your turn," Link told Y/N as he returned from the target with the arrows.

She gulped thickly as she took them, notching the arrow carefully. With effort, she attempted to pull the string, grunting when it wouldn't bend to her strength.

Ganondorf frowned and gently coaxed her arm, holding under her biceps to feel her muscles strain. "Too difficult?"

"Yeah," She sighed as she relaxed, not daring to loose the arrow in fear of it flying some other direction.

He hummed and took the bow, testing it. "This is a heavier bow. Link, do you have a spare from your own inventory?"

Link hummed and beamed as he began to dig through his bags. Ganondorf blinked when he pulled out an axe, a shield, some meat–

"I still have no idea where you store all this," Zelda chuckled. "Was it a gift from Hestu?"

"Hm? Oh yeah. He did a little dance and suddenly, magic bag. It doesn't have infinite storage though. Aha!" He beamed as he gripped a small bow. He gave Y/N the traveler's bow, smiling softly. "Try this one."

She tested it and beamed as she easily pulled the string. "Much better. Thank you. Ah, here," she said, offering him the other bow. He put everything away quickly as she notched the arrow again. "Okay," She sighed softly.

Ganondorf watched her stance and shook his head. "Stop," he said. "Stay still."

Paya gasped and covered her mouth, face reddening as the Gerudo man gently began to coax her body into the right stance. Zelda had to look away, surprised and attempting to hide her giggle.

"Get a room," Link groaned, making the two blush brightly now.

"Ignore them," Ganondorf sighed, leaning close to her as he helped her aim. He watched her face scrunch and lightly pinched her side to get her attention. "Eyes open. You want to see the target. Deep inhale, loose it, then exhale."

She gave the barest hint of a nod as she took a slow inhale, staring at the target solely, before letting it go. The arrow lurched out from the bow, stabbing into the fence beside the target.

Y/N let out a groan as she looked up at the sky, praying to Hylia for her to finally give her the gift of weaponry.

"You'll get it," Paya encouraged. Y/N pursed her lips as she sighed heavily. "Don't be discouraged."

"Hard not to be, leader," She bit out, making Ganondorf blink.

He watched her correct her form as she aimed again, focusing on the target. He watched her brows furrow as she took a stabilizing breath and loosed another arrow. While it still hit the fence behind the target, he couldn't deny she was getting closer.

"Why have you never learned weaponry?" He asked absently, making her flush as she looked away shamefully.

Paya smiled. "I'll tell him if you don't," She chuckled, earning a heated glare from the woman. "It's nothing bad. Y/N here was just never truly interested in combat. She much preferred the magic all Sheikah are adept to. She's even taken it as far as to studying Wizzrobes in the field, from a safe distance and with a guard nearby mind you. But even then–"

"My mother was Hylian and my father was Sheikah. It doesn't mean much of a difference, but it does mean I'm not…as adept at magic," Y/N sighed out finally. "I can do little things like, push the air so I can jump higher or mute my footfalls but…that's about it."

Ganondorf blinked, thinking of all the times he'd catch her jumping around the village. He smiled a slight. "There…could be some books in the castle," He suggested, looking to Zelda. "Right?"

"It's possible," She hummed. "I read a few myself as a girl. Link, would it be possible for us to make a trip there? Scour the old library."

"Sure. Might be good to make sure no monsters have made a home there," He agreed as he gathered Y/N's arrows. "Relax. You're doing good."

Y/N huffed when he patted her shoulder and nodded, gathering herself and trying again.

Ganondorf watch her as she loosed arrows before gathering them and beginning again. Zelda and Paya had since gone off. Link was watching them both from a distance. It was clear to the Gerudo the hero knew he wouldn't be a threat but wondered if he grew worried leaving the two of them alone.

That didn't matter though as Ganondorf's eyes fell on her wrist, seeing it redden after she loosed another arrow. He gripped her shoulder and quickly lifted her arm, pulling her sleeve to reveal the marred skin.

Link let his head fall into his hand as Y/N's flushed face looked at Ganondorf in aghast horror as he glared down at her. "G-Ganny! C'mon. I gotta practice–"

"You've been hurting yourself like this," he sighed. "You're stopping for today.'

"He's right," Link said before Y/N could protest.

"Hey! You're the one who wanted me to learn!"

"Not at the cost of your limbs," The hero snapped out. "We have equipment for a reason. Where's the bracer I'd loaned you!"

Y/N looked away sheepishly. "I-In…In my house. It was too big for me."

Link clenched his jaw. Ganondorf blinked in surprise before sighing. "She gets it. I'm angry too, but it'll do no good if we continue this." The hero sighed and looked away as Ganondorf looked to Y/N. "You really should have said something," he said, taking the bow. "You felt it. You know this could cause an injury. Why did you press on?"

He watched her look away shamefully and shook his head. He knew when she refused to speak on such things and instead gave Link the bow. "She might try to squeeze in practice when no one is looking."

"You're right," The hero sighed as he inspected it. "We'll start up practice again when Zelda and I return from the castle. Until then, rest. Ganondorf, can you keep her safe?"

The Gerudo nodded and watched the hero storm off. After a long while, he muttered, "How petulant."

"No," Y/N sighed, rubbing her neck. "He just gets like that when he's worried. When The Upheaval happened, he was on everyone. He wouldn't let anyone some much as leave their homes without some security. At least, those who were close enough to him. Purah couldn't leave her lab for a long while because of him."

"The same guy that jumps out of hot air balloons into the Depths is overprotective?" He scoffed before nodding. "Suits him. Though, I can't exactly blame him. Come. Let's put a cool towel on it."

He walked with her to her home, ducking under the threshold. Y/N looked up as he slouched to make his way through her home and frowned, making him sit. "It really worries me when you walk through my home." She made her way to her first aid kit, grabbing the soothing gel and a cloth.

"It's nothing."

Y/N sighed, looking at him in annoyance as she sat on the bed. "Ganny, your neck was at a ninety-degree angle. That's not…normal for your spine."

"Neither is letting something whip you repeatedly but you continued to do so." He sighed when she looked away quickly. His finger slid under her chin, making her look to him. "Why didn't you say anything?"

With a thick gulp, she finally muttered out, "I didn't want to disappoint you."

Ganondorf studied her reaction, watching how she seemed to be looking everywhere but him. She was embarrassed by the contact and ashamed of her petulance. He smiled softly and took the supplies, dampening the cloth with the gel before gently laying it over her inner arm.

She hissed softly, grimacing as she rested her head on his chest. His large hand rubbed at her back as he gently held her hand, squeezing it as her arm twitched.

"You don't need to rush this," He said gently. He paused for a long moment before muttering, "I might be able to help you, but it's risky."

She frowned as she adjusted, looking up at him. He sighed softly. "I could use magic. Since the seal on my memories though…I've been unable to. I could…attempt to teach you to my best ability but…"

Y/N's eyes widened as she gulped. "But it could mean being who you were before."

mwahaha cliff hanger

[cowboybrunch]

9 lines 9 people/writing share tag!

got bopped for this one a bit thank u @wyked-ao3 (x) @the-golden-comet (x) @rotting-moon-writes (x)

@lychhiker-writes (x) @tragedycoded (x) and @sableglass (x) <3

(ik im behind but keep bopping me please i love reading ur stuff)

i was planning on taking a break from Dust to Dust but Amalie broke down my door and DEMANDED that she tell me what's going on (baby it's not even your pov) so. nine-ish lines:

He tugged the blanket over his head to block the afternoon sun beaming through the windows and inhaled the stink of sweat and recycled breath. The new darkness did little to soothe the pounding in his head. The events of the previous night were muddled, but he could make a guess. He drank too much (he usually did), and Amalie was upset with him (she usually was). Flashes of whispered scolding cut through his yawning thoughts, but he was the king. His wine glass was always full. As if his musing had summoned her, the door creaked open. She never bothered knocking anymore. She knew what she’d find.

nine tags! hop in!

@finchwrites @saturnine-saturneight @tildeathiwillwrite @oliolioxenfreewrites @writingrosesonneptune

@illarian-rambling @jev-urisk @dyrewrites @sarandipitywrites

and, as always, an open tag! :-)

[1-beansss-1]

Dealing with loss...

Part 4

Simon Petrikov x reader

Warnings - mentions of Suicide, SH, Depression, ED, and Alcohol

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿

A few hours later, Simon came back. He had doctor princess with him. He walked over to the bed and gently shook you.

"Hey wake up.."

You didn't even move when he tried to wake you up. He shook you harder, but it didn't work.

"They must be in a deep sleep.."

Doctor Princess told Simon. He nodded and moved away. Doctor princess started to examine you. She lifted your shirt and saw how malnourished you were. She grabbed your arms, lifting your sleeves. There were cuts all over your arms, some old, some fresh.

Simon covered his mouth, he knew you were upset but he didn't know about this. He backed away slightly, he was shocked to see this. You started to grumble in your sleep, mumbling incoherently, you where having another nightmare. You shot up in the bed and woke up, you grabbed at your chest. You didn't notice the people in the room.

"Y/N?"

Simon's voice was shakey. You looked up and saw him and the doctor. You moved away from them.

"What the fuck? Get away from me!"

You got angry and Simon walked closer to the bed.

"We're just trying to help.. please.. let us help"

"No.. No.. leave.. get out now! I don't want your help.."

You shook your head and tucked your legs to your chest. Doctor princess sighed.

"If you don't get help, you might die.."

"I don't care! I.. I don't.... I've lost everything.. what does it matter...? I have no one.."

You started to cry, and your body trembled. Simon sat on the bed next to you.

"I'm here.... please just let me help you.."

He turned to face you, he reached his hand out to hold your hand. You flinched at his movement. You looked at him. There was a long silence in the room.

"Alright.. F-Fine..."

He smiled at you and squeezed your hand.

"Can I continue examining you?"

Doctor princess sighed. Simon got up, letting you lay back down. Doctor princess continued to examine you. When she was done, she walked over to Simon.

"They'll be ok, but they need something to eat, nothing too much. They're body isn't used to eating anymore so they need small meals. They could die if they eat too much. They also need a lot of rest."

Doctor princess put a hand on Simon's shoulder and left. You sat up and grumbled.

"Why didn't she tell this to me?"

You mumbled and sighed loudly. Simon rushed over to you and pulled you into a hug.

"You worried me so much. What were you thinking?! Why aren't you taking care of yourself?"

He scolded you and squeezed you a bit.

You let out a sigh. You tried to move away from him, but he held you tightly.

"Let me go.."

You grumbled.

"You could have died, you know?! Died! You hear me?"

He continued to scold you. You sighed and reached up to his face, and you put your hand over his mouth.

"Simon, let me go.."

You huffed and moved your hand away from him.

"Right... right.."

Simon quickly let go of you.

"I'm going to sleep.. go home, Simon.."

"I can't trust you to take care of yourself!"

You grumbled and laid down pulling the covers over you.

"I'm a fucking adult.."

You mumbled and fell asleep quickly. Simon left the room so you could sleep. Simon came into your room to check on you throughout the day. You slept for two days straight.

He came in to check on you. He sat on the bed next to you, hoping you'd wake up soon.

You were asleep still, snoring slightly. You sat up in your sleep and rested your head on his shoulder. You put your arms around him.

"Come to bed Icy..."

You mumbled and leaned over to lay down.

He tried to get up, but your grip tightened.

"Nooo.. you need to sleep."

You mumbled and nuzzled your head in his neck. His face turned red, and he tried to get up again. You pulled him closer towards you and he let out a long sigh.

"I guess I'm staying.."

He took his glasses off and put them on the table. He grabbed the covers and pulled them over the both of you.

"I love you.."

You mumbled and kissed his neck.

"Alright, no! I can't do this!"

Simon grabbed your hands and pryed them off of him. He got out of bed quickly. His face was bright red. You whined in your sleep and rolled over. You curled up into a ball and made quiet noises. He looked back at you and grabbed his glasses, putting them on so he could see.

"Icy.. I'm sorry.."

You mumbled in your sleep. He leaned over on the bed and put a hand on your sholder.

"It's just a dream.. it's ok.."

You moved away from him and whimpered in your sleep. Simon sighed and sat on the bed. He put a hand on your sholder and squeezed it slightly.

"It's just a dream..."

He repeated. Your body relaxed a bit and you stopped making noise. He got up and sighed. He left the room and went to the living room. You slept for another whole day.

You woke up in the afternoon, thinking only a few hours had passed since doctor princess came, but it had been three days. You sat up in bed and got up, walking to the living room. Simon had fallen asleep watching tv on your couch. You sighed and tried to pick him up. Your body felt too weak. You gave up and just grabbed a blanket for him. You put it around him and turned the tv off. You sat next to him and fell asleep, falling over onto him.

He woke up when you fell on him.

"Huh.. oh, I fell asleep.."

He rubbed his eyes and looked at the blanket on him, then over to you.

"Even when you're feeling bad, you're nice.."

He mumbled and put a hand on your head, brushing the hair out of your face. He looked at the time and figured since you had woken up, he should make you something to eat. He slowly got up so he wouldn't wake you up. He gently laid you down on the couch. He walked to your kitchen and opened the fridge. He went grocery shopping while you were asleep, so there was plenty of food.

"Hmm.. I don't know what you'd like.."

He mumbled to himself and tried to remember as he looked in the fridge, but he couldn't, so he just grabbed something random. He made you a small portion of food and walked back to the couch. He sat the plate down on the table and tried to wake you up.

"Hey.. I got you something, wake up."

You grumbled and put your hand on his face.

"Five more minutes.."

Simon chuckled and grabbed your wrist, moving it back down.

"Hmm.. well, alright, but your food might get cold.."

You opened your eyes and rubbed your face.

"What? You made me food? Why?"

Simon grabbed the plate on the table and handed it to you.

"Because you wouldn't do it on your own, would you?"

You looked down at your plate and felt embarrassed that you had to be taken care of.

"I'm not a child.."

You said as you started to eat, it felt weird to eat again and you felt slightly nauseous, but you ignored the feeling.

"Of course not.. I'm just trying to help you get better.."

You let out a loud sigh, feeling bad that you were being mean to him.

"I know.. I'm..I'm sorry.. I'm not used to, uh.. all of this...."

You finished your food, it was a bit difficult for you but you did it. You looked up at him and put the plate down.

"When... um, he was still alive.. I ate when he did.. I guess it's easier to remember to take care of yourself when someone needs you.."

Simon nodded. He knew exactly what you meant. He put a hand on your sholder and squeezed it slightly.

"Simon.. um... I can't believe you're so patient with me.. so.. uh... thank you.."

You let out a sigh and leaned forward, putting your hands on your face. You felt tears forming in your eyes.

"Grod, I'm such a shitty person.. I'm so mean to you, I push you away so much.. why... why are you still here? Stop being so nice! I deserve to be yelled at.. or.. or something.. I..."

Simon put his arm around you and pulled you close to him. You started to sob and tried to stay quiet. You were ashamed of crying so much in front of him.

"I'm sorry, Simon.. don't look at me.. I'm a mess.. I.. I cry too much.. I'm too emotional.. why do you even try to help me?"

Simon held you tighter and you put your hands off of your face, letting your arms go limp.

"Stop being so hard on yourself... you're so kind and sweet and caring.. you're such a good person, you think of others even when you're feeling bad. You.. You took care of me when I was The Ice King.. it takes a special kind of person to put up with him.."

His words comforted you till the last part. It made you a bit mad.

"Simon.. I love....."

You paused and clenched your teeth. It was difficult to use love in the past tense. It made you admit he was actually gone.

"I loved him.. I didn't just put up with him.. he cared for me.. I know you didn't like him but.."

You started to feel frustrated. It made you mad when people talked about him like he was some kind of unlovable monster.

"Sorry.. I meant that not many people cared for him.. "

You sighed and nodded.

"Yeah.. I don't really understand why.. he had his moments, sure, but he was so kind to me.."

You paused for a second

"Simon..I.. I'm sorry I brought up the Ice King so much.. I know how it bothers you.."

"It's alright.. the way you talk about him makes him seem like an amazing person.. you know.. I.."

Simon paused, feeling a bit embarrassed to admit what he was about to say.

"I.. I used to dress up like him.. and try to get as cold as possible.. I thought it would help me cope.. but I think it made it worse.."

You looked up at him and felt embarrassed. You did the same thing.

"I.. I.. I still wear his clothes.."

You and Simon chuckled a bit at how similar you two were. You started to feel tired again, and you sighed.

"I've been sleeping all day.. I don't want to sleep more."

You mumbled and rubbed your eyes.

"It's alright.. go to sleep, you need it"

You sighed again. You really didn't want to go to bed. You wanted to continue to talk to him. It was nice.

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[utilitycaster]

God that Ashton and FCG scene was fucking good