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soysaucevictim · 3 years ago

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“aching, shaking, breaking (like humans do)”

Summary: Remus thinks Hypnos has abandoned him for good (metaphorically speaking), Patton is there to help. (Sanders Sides, Gym Rat AU. One-shot. Ao3 link.)

Genres: Slice of Life, Hurt/Comfort, Sickfic

Characters: Patton and Remus centric. Logan, Virgil, and Roman mentioned.

Relationships: Intruality (platonic), Logicality (platonic), Background Intrulogical (platonic/ambiguous), Background Dukexiety (romantic/QPP), Background Moxiety (paternal/platonic)

Warnings: Remus angst, extreme insomnia, (unintentional) self-injury, medications, mental health issues, grim imagery, Remus Has Intrusive Thoughts, Remus Is A Mess, Patton Is A Good Friend, Interfaith Friendships, Implied (Extended) Family Problems

Patton was pedaling on one of the exercise bikes, which was one of his favorite activities to do at the gym. Relatively low impact and he usually took a “something is better than nothing” approach to his routines nowadays. Just appreciating the people watching and socializing with his workout famILY.

That was odd.

Remus hadn’t been to the gym for the whole week. Even when the kiddo overdid it – usually he’s not out of commission this long for it. Unless-

Something hit him in the gut when he realized that. He stopped on his bike and immediately buzzed his number.

Ring.

Nothing.

He could shoot him a text, but it was just not settling right with him. Logan had been doing one of his HIIT circuits on the bike next to him. He took a deep breath, gently tapping Logan’s shoulder. Despite Logan’s concentration, he desisted immediately, turning off his music to respond, “What is it?”

“Have you seen a certain Pottymouth at your work recently?”

Logan paused, with a look of concerned realization, “Come to think of it, no. No, I haven’t. Well, he was getting particularly erratic and called in sick… 3 days ago.”

“I think I should go check in on him. My Other Son’s been swamped with work lately, sooo…”

If Logan was perfectly honest, it was often confusing when Patton referred to half their crew as his son, “Other son? Did you mean Virgil?”

Patton nodded.

“Probably prudent. Unfortunately, no one can stand in for me at the firm tonight. And. You’re better at the… emotions stuff.”

“I appreciate the vote of confidence! Hopefully I’m just worried for nothing.”

Patton rose up from his bike and was about to leave with his things. Logan smiled faintly, “Hey, if you would, could you tell me how he’s doing when you find out?”

Patton smiled back, a little forced if he was honest, “I’ll make sure to have him tell you that himself!”

It wasn’t a very far trip across the city to get to Remus’s apartment complex from the gym.

Once Patton parked his car and took another deep breath, he stepped out toward it.

After getting buzzed in and jogging up a couple flights of stairs, thanking his stars for basic training, he was at the door in a jiffy.

Patton wasn’t in the business, but he was reminded of the time Remus was raising heck to get Unit 404 from this building. He remembered seeing Logan trying desperately not to laugh when he heard about it.

He knew to knock to the phrase “Shave and a Haircut”, to alert Remus. He drummed out a few calls, waiting for Remus to make a sound on the other side, hoping he would.

It was a thing in their group, ever since they all watched “Roger Rabbit” together for a movie night, years ago.

Once. Twice. Thrice…

Patton heard the sound of chaotic crashing noises and an off-script, but still in the right cadence, “Fuck OFF!”

“Remus!? Kiddo, it’s me. I wanted to check on you!”

He heard some stumbling noises and a hoarse, “P-padre?”

“Can I come in?”

There was a dramatically loud sigh before the door was unlatched, unlocked, and open.

“Thanks- oh.”

Patton wasn’t exactly sure what he was expecting, but Remus looked even more harried than he usually was. The darkness around his eyes even more pronounced, his face was so drained. His makeup smudged, tear-streaked, and hanging on for dear life. His gaze wild and jumpy. Remus didn’t do much more than stand in the living room, staring at Patton once he entered.

Patton saw that Remus had knocked over one of his glass cabinets. He noticed Remus looked pretty scratched up and was bleeding in places, mostly his hands and knuckles.

Patton furrowed his brow, asking mostly to avoid presumptions, “How are you feeling?”

Remus sounded breathless too, “What does it fucking… look like!?”

Patton paused and looked around some more, there was a lot of trash strewn about the floor. Granted there usually was, Remus would just call it “organized chaos”. But Patton did note that there was an alarming number of energy drink cans piled around a hopelessly full trash bin. Monsters, NOS, Red Bulls, 5 Hours, yerba mate, the works.

Patton slumped a little bit in worry, “Not exactly peachy keen, I take it?”

Patton had a hunch that Remus was screaming not that long ago, based on just how raw his voice sounded, “No SHIT!”

“Um, would you like to sit down for a bit? It might help to talk it out.”

“Can’t.”

“Too restless, huh?”

“Yeah.”

At that point Remus was mindlessly digging his fingernails into his arm. Patton winced a little and decided to ask, “Can I take care of those injuries, at least? I just want to make sure they don’t get-”

Remus glanced at but barely registered the wounds, “Infected?”

“Yeah.”

“F-first aid kit’s in the bathroom. Not like it matters. It would be just my luck to have a brown recluse bite or resistant staph or necrotizing fasciitis. You know where shit rots and liquefies and you get all septic?! Imagine the SMELL.”

Patton slowly worked his way to the bathroom to get the kit, not taking his eyes away from Remus, “Well, if it looks like it’ll be that way, I WILL be taking your butt to the ER.”

Remus didn’t seem to register that, droning on, “Oh. What if I lose a finger? Or several! Or my entire hands! Everybody says I might die of a heart attack before I hit 30? My ticker feels like it’s going to EXPLODE, Teddy Roosevelt. Imagine a live grenade strapped to it – BOOM. Sounds like fun.”

Patton flinched, thinking that was to get a rise out of him, “Kiddo, I think that’s the opposite of fun.”

Remus weakly laughed, pointing at his chest thoughtlessly, “Better than worrying about cancer or some shit!”

Eventually Patton had to break line of sight to grab the kit, but he kept talking, “When… when did you last get some sleep?”

There was a pause that made Patton’s own heart ache a little bit. Remus muttered after some hemming and hawing, “Uh… 3? 4? 4 days ago? I think. I don’t even fucking know.”

Patton took a moment to look over the medicine cabinet while he was there. Just to see if Remus had anything that could help him get much needed snooze time. There was a bottle of trazodone, mostly full, Benedryl, also mostly full… no suspiciously empty bottles of anything around. So that was a hopeful sign.

“Would you mind if I asked you to take something to help you sleep? After I patch you up?”

“You remember that story where a whole batch of Tylenol was tampered with and killed like seven whole people?”

“… I’ll ask again a little later, then.”

Patton returned to the living room, kit in hand, both relieved and disconcerted about Remus just standing in the same spot he was in. His hands were clenching and unclenching, like he was fighting to stay awake even longer. “Okay, it would be easier on both of us if you sat down while I dress those wounds.”

Remus didn’t move, so Patton tried to gently nudge this poor kid toward the sofa anyways. Thankfully, he didn’t resist at all. Patton noticed just how wobbly a gait he had in that short distance. Once seated, Patton also saw that both his knees were scuffed. Patton winced, imagining that he took at least a few falls very recently.

Without prompting, Remus whined, “Everything hurts, Padre.”

“Well, going without sleep as long as you have can give you a bad case of the body aches. Seen some of my old combat buddies deal with that on our worst deployments…”

Patton started to wipe down Remus’s knuckles first with some cotton balls and alcohol. He just wanted to get a better sense of how deep these cuts were. He was relieved that they were surprisingly shallow, “I think these will only need some simple bandages and antibiotic cream… but I’m definitely going to check on you later, to see how your hands are doing.”

Remus nodded, and started to blather a bit again, “I feel like Hypnos himself has forsaken me. A curse! A bane! Pat? Is his brother going to come for me? Am I going to ride down Styx and meet the big H himself?”

“… you’re not going to die, if I can help it. I swear to God Himself.”

“Gross.”

Patton sometimes forgot that their positions of faith were so far removed. But that didn’t dissuade him from caring a lot. He hated seeing his friend suffering so much. He took another breath, and addressed the gouges and cuts in Remus’s arms. They were rough, probably unintentionally from his own hands. He approached those similarly. “You feeling any sleepier, yet?”

“Mmm… no.”

Remus looked like he was about to pass out, Patton was reasonably sure just the fact he was seated and getting some TLC helped push him closer to shutting his eyes. “Well. I’m going to hang around for a few, just to make sure you’re alright, okay? Mind if I turn on the TV?”

Remus started to slur his speech considerably, “Knock yourself out, Holy Ghost.”

Patton thinly smiled about the blasphemous sentiment, but he shook that off, it didn’t matter really. He was just glad to see Remus doze off like he desperately needed it.

Patton decided to tune into Nickelodeon and watch some cartoon reruns, eventually hearing some loud snoring coming from Remus. Patton sighed and smiled at the sight.

“Oh GEEZ, Patton. Were you – were you here all night?”

Patton blinked awake from the shouting and looked outside to see it was bright out, “I-I guess I was?”

Virgil was there to see his boyfriend sleeping like the dead and Patton next to him.

“Logan told me to check on Remus and I just got back here. And-”

“Remus is going to be okay, I think. Do you have any idea what may’ve started this episode?”

Virgil sat down on the recliner nearby and looked tired but contemplative.

“His “family” tried contacting him. All I know was it devolving into a messy fight and it rattled him. He… stubbornly didn’t want to talk about it.”

Patton understood what he meant at this point.

The only blood relative Remus had anything nice to say about was Roman. Someone who should probably know what happened, if he wasn’t already aware.

All to address later, once Remus recovered a little more.

Patton ran his fingers through Remus’s greasy hair. Not the most pleasant, but he hoped it helped to soothe him as he continued to slumber.

Virgil smiled at both of them, his own concern never quite gone, “Thanks for this, Pop Star.”

#spilled musing #sanders sides #remus sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #(yes - give both the twins a drabble in crisis)#(patton's here mincing his oaths whilst remus is swearing like a sailor... pffft )#(patton used to be a combat medic in this AU - so like. he's seen some shit but is still v caring)#gymrat au

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subtlereferencetomyinterests · 4 years ago

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A Misplaced Imbalance of Fear

Ao3, MasterPost

Relationships: Romantic Dukexiety, implied/minor Moceit (platonic or romantic)

From the power of my Art and my Shitposts comes This Fanfiction!!!

Warnings: Panic Attacks, Lots of Cursing, descriptions of gore (horror movies, it gets decently explicit so beware that), mild body horror (Remus is here and he Does Things Like That), Heavy Roman angst for a hot minute in the middle, making out (continuing my theme of remus-centric fics getting more ;3). They do some makeup and drink tea, baby. Mentions of picking one’s skin as an Anxious habit, and also ticking. Also stimming!!! nd sides 4 life bb. Also, a very brief alcohol mention (it’s soup).

Word Count: 6,553

God Fucking Fuck, Virgil was going to have a self-care day even if it killed him dead. Everybody else could do whatever overdramatic fuckery they wanted when they were topside, but he was all set down there in the Mindpalace, thank you very much.

Luckily, mercifully, thankfully, the rest of the sides all seemed keen to let Virgil have his space anyway. There wasn’t a thing stopping him from relaxing.

Well, except for himself, of course.

A thrum of condensed stress and fear tugged at Virgil’s abdomen, bubbling its way over his edges. It was equally his own and the others’, probably due to whatever conversation they were caught up in in the external world. He would not relent to the worry, nor was he summoned to help with the situation, but his body refused to stop shaking. Perched on the top of the couch, frantically clicking the buttons on a fidget cube, Virgil tried to watch the gore playing on the TV in a tired effort to calm his nerves.

Horror movies… helped. They were something for his brain to chew on for a while- their over-the-top and ridiculous plots, the obnoxious characters that almost always deserve what’s coming to them, the attention-attaining action- it was all a recipe for Distraction. But they weren’t working by that point, no matter how badly Virgil wanted them to.

And then- possibly because the universe loved to spite Virgil and Virgil specifically- a walking, talking headache flung himself into the common room about as elegantly as a wolfhound with rabies.

“Heyyyy,” Remus crowed as he sprawled himself out on the couch. Anxiety curled his legs closer under his body, unresponsive- he knew full well that any reaction would just be an invitation for trouble from the obnoxious trait. He’d remember what Logan taught them: don’t engage, just brush it all off.

Unfortunately, Remus seemed to be in a stubborn mood.

“Whatcha watching?”

“Movie,” Virgil grumbled.

“What movie?”

He eyed the side laying out on the couch below him, narrowing his gaze as threateningly as he could manage. He spat the words through gritted teeth and made it clear he was not having this today.

“It’s called Terrifier.”

Remus perked up at that, and oh God, if he was interested then he’d never go the fuck away.

“What’s it about?”

There wasn’t much Virgil could do but answer in as clipped a tone as he could; things hadn’t gotten too bad, too uncomfortable, yet. Maybe he could redirect Remus’ attention, if he was just boring and unresponsive enough?

“Just a cliche creepy clown flick. Not much to it.”

“Is it gory?”

Virgil made a vaguely affirmative sound in his throat, gesturing to the screen. In truth, the movie’s impeccable special effects with gore was its main appeal, as the acting and plot was kinda atrocious. Violence was the exact reason he’d chosen to watch this. But he knew saying that wouldn’t help his chances of shaking off Intrusive Thoughts.

Remus looked ready to spout off something explicit, but he went dead quiet as his eyes fell on the scene on the television. Virgil was grateful for small mercies.

It was exactly the kind of thing that the creative trait would watch, after all; a woman getting sawed in half, lengthwise, starting from the- er, the wrong end. Under circumstances of a more typical anxious flare-up, the scene really could have been one of those ‘helpful distractions’.

These were not normal circumstances.Yeah, this was one of those ‘too passive’ cases, but Virgil didn’t exactly have the energy for anything ‘active’. So, he stubbornly glared at the TV and pretended that his solution was working, because he had no idea what else to do. Perfect plan.

Preoccupied as he was with his internal issues, he very nearly managed to forget about Remus. Until-

“Holy fuck, this is gorgeous, you watch stuff like this?!” The Duke’s eyes were bright, but not with his usual hysteria. They were wide with genuine excitement, shiny and happy. It was- uncanny, that’s probably the word Virgil was looking for. He curled closer in on himself.

“Shouldn’t be that surprising, dude. ‘Scary’ is kind of my thing.”

“I can’t believe I haven’t seen this one,” the creative side was once again completely enamored by the television screen, “Don’t blood and guts and cool things like that freak you out? They always seem to do the trick when I try to mess with you!”

“It’s different. The violence in movies, it- it calms me down, I guess. Cause it’s like, I don’t know, detached from reality?”

There was a pause that had Virgil hoping, naively, that Remus had grown bored at his spiel. But he wasn’t moving, he was just staring, gaze switching contemplatively from the screen to Virgil a few times over.

“It doesn’t look like that. If you were any more tense, all your tendons would be snapping like badly-tuned violin strings!”

“Yeah, no shit,” Virgil pressed his back against the wall and shut his eyes tight. He could still hear- no, feel- Patton and Roman and Thomas arguing, snapping at each other back and forth as the situation escalated.

“Is this about whatever the others are doing? Why don’t you just stop listening to their shitty arguments?”

A harsh laugh escaped Virgil at that, dragging him back down to earth so he could blink his eyes open, glaring at the facet lying beneath him.

“I can’t just stop, that’s not how I work. I need to keep an ear on them. Who knows what could happen if I didn’t?”

“Well, why don’t you just go talk to them?”

If he wasn’t already frustrated beyond belief, that would’ve fuckin’ done it for him.

“I don’t think I’d be much help. Not right now.”

“Why not?” Remus looked halfway between genuinely curious and mischievous, propping himself up on his elbows to get a better view of Anxiety.

“Seriously? Things aren’t exactly, like- normal between all of us.”

“What is normal?”

Virgil opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came through. As much as it sounded like an offhanded, edgy 13-year-old atheist kind of remark, it was a decent point. Virgil had thought that there was something of a status quo forming between himself and the ‘light sides’, but how long had that even lasted for? Especially compared to the rest of his life? Everything was changing all the time. Was there anything to rely on, or was it just Virgil’s own wishful thinking for what their lives could be? After all, even in ‘peaceful times’, there had been plenty of in-fighting and disagreements and horrible uncomfortable conversations and harsh words and-

“Oh, shut that brain up,” Remus’ sharp voice pulled Virgil from his thoughts, “I know what you meant ‘normal’. You meant the six months when you got to forget about us Scary Monsters, and, DUH! It was probably way simpler for all you diet-soda-no-sugar sluts back then, but that doesn’t mean it was better.”

“Yeah, you would think that things are better now, wouldn’t you?”

Remus fixed Virgil with an unsettling sort of grimace, making the other squirm. It wasn’t the first time he’d done so by any means.

“I dunno, but what I do know is that things are getting better. They’ll be the best they could be, soon.”

Despite himself, Virgil laughed. It was a faltering, anxious sound, revealing the true fear behind the taunting gesture.

“Really? With everybody at each other’s throats all the time?”

“While that does sound fun,” Remus sat up fully, twisting around to look directly up at Virgil, “I mean after that. After we’re all accepted. It’s inevitable- Inevitable, Anxious Lil’ Barista,” Remus accompanied the referential nickname with a wink.

Virgil stared at him like he was crazy (well- like- crazier than usual, he guessed?). Remus just threw his head back and laughed before spinning his neck one-hundred and eighty degrees to face the TV while he explained.

“Point is, it’s painfully obvious that everything will sort itself out. It has to, or else the only other option is that Thomas is gonna drive himself insane by trying to suppress parts of himself and end up clawing his own brain out. One of those two things!”

While colorfully phrased, the certainty with which Remus delivered his point had Virgil taken aback. There was no way that Remus could possibly know that, but- in a backwards way it was comforting, how sure he sounded. He didn’t lie, not ever.

Virgil had never thought that Remus would settle for anything less than going out of his way to make others’ lives a hell. But maybe that antagonism wasn’t what exactly motivated the trait’s actions. Maybe it was just an unintentional side effect, akin to what Logan had said when Remus first revealed himself.

The moment of reprieve was over as soon as it began.

“Fuck! He just cut off her tits and wore ‘em, huh?”

Virgil looked up and, to be fair, that was exactly what had happened on screen. Like he said, this movie wasn’t exactly poetic cinema, but it certainly was something.

He scooted along the top of the couch, moving just a few feet before dropping down to sit properly beside Remus.

“3/10 drag look at best, really,” Virgil muttered, mostly to himself. He jumped when Remus shrieked with laughter at it, looking absolutely delighted.

“I didn’t know you made jokes like that, VeeVee!”

Virgil shrugged noncommittally, focusing on the screen and not the facet beside him. Remus’ giggling was loud and distracting, but it wasn’t… unpleasant, unlike his typical villain-cackle was.

Once Remus had settled down (as much as somebody like him could, anyway), he, too, focused on watching. The quiet was uncomfortable, but it didn’t stretch on for long. There was always something in the movie that The Duke felt the need to comment upon extensively, elaborating and giving details on the gore. Virgil found himself listening to the rants silently, almost enjoying the disruption. It certainly gave his overactive mind something to play around with.

“-skin doesn’t slice as easy as that, trust me-”

Aaaand there it was. Virgil winced, trying very hard not to show that the words had struck a nerve. He liked horror, gore, all that, sure, but there were just some specific things- squicks, you could call them. Remus would obviously use that to his advantage, so the only option was to try very hard to zone out and not look like he was disturbed.

“But even then- Hey, why are you making that face?”

Mission failed.

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

Remus shifted closer- invasively closer, his gaze studying.

“You were calming down earlier, what's with the scrunch-nose?”

Virgil stared at his hands, chipping away his black nail polish. Remus was nearly as good at reading lies as Janus, and twice as hard to get rid of.

“It's just- skin, slicing, that stuff just-” he ticked, head spasming sideways briefly at even the thought of that kind of pain.

“Oh,” Remus said plainly, not even a hint of malice or mischief in his tone as he leaned back into his own spot, “Why didn't you just say so? Well, that last exploding head kill is way more interesting anyway, did you see that?”

That was… it? No taunting, no tormenting, he just changed the topic, like that?

Remus, continuing to be weirdly perceptive, scoffed as though he was reading Virgil’s mind.

“What? Just because I like screwing with you prudes sometimes doesn't mean I want to give you a panic attack. Where's the fun in that?”

Anxiety nodded mutely, bewildered. Remus seemed appeased by that and quickly resumed his running commentary.

And if Virgil eventually decided to take part in the discussion, well, it wasn’t a big deal anyway. Just some polite conversation about bodily mutilation.

The television darkened as the screen was washed by credits, filling the space where the disfigured face of the main character had been mere moments prior, the result of a pretty predictable twist ending. Virgil stood, arching his back up in a stretch. His arms raised higher, one joint or another crackling at the motion. Fuck, he was sore. How long had he been sitting still?

Remus hadn’t moved from his spot on the couch. He tapped his claws along the remote, exiting to the homescreen and looking expectantly at Virgil.

“You don't wanna watch anything else?” He asked abruptly, drawing a confused glance from his companion, “This is fun- and they're still arguing up there, so it kinda makes sense to stay, it’s really the best solution if you-”

Virgil huffed a laugh at the rambling. It sounded like some shit he’d say, for crying out loud.

“Dude, chill, I was just gonna make some tea before putting on another movie,” the clear relief that ran across Remus' face- quickly replaced by a wide grin- wasn't anything shy of… sweet. Virgil was sure this day couldn't get any fucking weirder, if he was finding anything endearing about the walking talking dirty joke before him. “Uh, you want anything? Since you're gonna stick around, and all.”

Remus jumped up, following Virgil into the MindPalace’s small kitchen happily. In one smooth motion, he swung up onto the counter and slid down it, seating himself almost on top of the stove.

“No hot leaf soup for me, thanks, but I will take one of those mugs!”

Virgil raised a brow, staring the creative trait down before shrugging. He passed him one of the mugs, a generic and patternless one- so that the other sides probably wouldn't notice its absence. He busied himself by setting up the kettle, trying not to wince at the loud wet crunch that resulted when Remus took a bite of his snack.

“Hey,” Remus said around a mouthful of ceramic chunks, “I know just the movie we should watch next.”

Virgil shifted around the various tea boxes littering the cabinets, searching for something with a kick. He hazarded a glance to Remus, immediately regretting the decision when he saw the blood dribbling down his chin from the cuts marring his lips. Anxiety cringed, turning his head back and grabbing for the first brightly-colored box he saw. It took him a moment to respond.

“Okay… what is it?”

“It's awful- I mean, really, the acting is unbearable and it’s fucking insane- but it's funny. You like making fun of stuff, right? It's like that, but there's still a ton of agonizing death, which is always a fun bonus.”

“What's it about?” Virgil was hesitantly intrigued, his gaze flicking up from the steadily heating kettle. He wasn't exactly keen on staring down the gory scene of Remus’ mouth, so he settled his focus on the trait’s eyeball brooch.

“Uhn-uhn! No spoilers, this is one you have to see for yourself. It's funnier that way.”

Virgil made a noncommittal sound, tapping his nails against the counters.

“Nothing too bad happens- not that you can't handle, anyway. No slicing and not many jumpscares.”

He resisted the urge to snap 'how do you know what I can’t handle?' because Remus actively trying to reassure him was. Something. Something that he appreciated, maybe, a little.

“Okay, fine. I didn't have anything else in mind. A ‘So-Bad-It’s-Good’ thing sounds alright.”

The obnoxious gnawing of Remus destroying what was left of his cup suddenly ceased, replaced by a stunned silence. Virgil finally met his eyes (finding that the lacerations around Remus’ mouth were already healing themselves, as if they'd never existed).

“You’re taking my suggestion?”

Virgil cleared his throat, finding himself unable to break the intense eye-contact now that it had been established.

“It's not a big deal or anything, man. Just a movie.”

Remus nodded enthusiastically, a grin splitting his face ear-to-ear. Very literally. The expression was so unnatural and cartoonish on a human(ish) face, that Virgil couldn't help but be startled into laughter. Remus looked even more delighted at that reaction, leaning forward over the stove. At that point, Virgil very much couldn't suppress the noises, snorts bubbling up from his throat against his will.

“You look-” another bout of chuckling, “-you look ridiculous, Remus.”

“Aw, thank you! I was going for manic, but I'll settle for that, too.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, hunching in on himself to get his breathing back to normal.

With no warning, Remus lifted himself up onto his knees and craned his body around the vigilant trait, snatching the kettle from the stove and flipping the dial to ‘off’. Instinctively, Anxiety recoiled from the proximity. The tension fell away when he saw that the other was simply pouring the hot water into Virgil’s mug for him.

“Dude, it wasn't whistling yet?”

“I know; it was hissing like it was about to start. You're boring and don't like loud noises, especially when you’re all on edge like this, so,” he set the kettle back down, passing the warm mug to Virgil.

Virgil stared at him, then at the drink in his hand, then back up at the Duke. He was, for what felt like the millionth time that day, unsure of how to react.

He… really hadn't thought that Remus would pick up on stuff like that. He should probably start getting used to that, maybe.

“I'm-” Virgil dragged his finger up and down the handle of his mug, “I'm not that on edge anymore, actually.”

The look that Remus sent him was indecipherable.

“C’mon, I’ll queue up that flick I told you about.”

“Yeah,” Virgil let out a deep breath, one he hadn't even known he'd been holding, “Yeah, okay.”

The floor was bubbling, popping, blistering with red fury. It was lava, sending bright flaming sparks in all directions. Thankfully for Remus and Virgil, sitting close together on the couch and viciously mocking cabin fever, the vicious rage was exclusive to one small circle near the staircase.

Virgil, who had been happily tearing apart the leading guy’s acting, cut himself off abruptly.

“Shit- wait- shit.”

Remus shook himself out of his raucous laughter, looking up in confusion. His eyes finally settled on the crimson patch of carpet, a look of realization crossing them. His voice turned much quieter than what fit him.

“Oh, fuck.”

It was like a volcanic eruption localized entirely within the living room, fire blazing in a tall column. From the emotional display, Roman rose up, face nearly as red as his method of transportation.

There was that brief moment, right when a stressful situation appeared, of antithetical serenity. Virgil felt his muscles slacken in shock, his long-empty mug falling from his hands and landing on the carpet with a dull thud. A rush of calmness hollowed out his chest, lingering for just a few seconds before being replaced by panic. Tension returned to his limbs mere moments after that, like it was pulling him taut.

Roman wasn't even looking at them- in fact, he hadn't seemed to notice his brother or best friend at all. The fire fell back down, leaving a charred patch of carpet that would likely take a long time to repair itself. The passionate trait growled, a sound that bordered on a scream as he clawed his hands down his face. He stamped his boot sharply against the ground, igniting another small fire with the impact.

“Fuck!” He cried, ever oblivious to his audience. With a hasty wave, the flames flickered and disappeared. Roman glared down at the blackened spot where it had been, winding his arms tightly around himself. He took a few shaky breaths, but if anything he only looked worse off for it.

“Fuck,” this time spoken quieter, but with no less vitriol. An immaculately-manicured hand raised itself to cover his mouth, tightening around his face desperately as tears slipped from his eyes down his fingers. He turned on his heel and took the stairs two at a time.

In his wake, as the television had been paused, the only thing that Virgil could hear was buzzing in his skull.

What had happened? What was happening, currently?! Things had gone so wrong and it was all because of Virgil’s negligence- what bad things could have been prevented if he had just been there? Or- or even just listening in! When had he even stopped listening? He was supposed to protect them but he just gave up, just because he ‘couldn't handle it’, and now something was Wrong with Roman and he couldn't even focus on listening to them all now, not like this. He couldn’t hear, couldn’t hear or see anything at all.

A rough, calloused hand wrapped around his wrist. Virgil's shallow breath staggered even more at the feeling, the warbly noise of speech failing to meet his ears. His eyes were closed tight, he realized, stinging with emotion behind his eyelids.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Four seconds, four strikingly gentle presses against the vein of Virgil’s wrist. If it weren't for the slight edge of a claw, he could've confused the motion for one of Patton’s.

The four taps were followed by a brief pause, then a steady round of seven taps. Another pause, and then eight. As Virgil focused, as much as he could anyway, on the presses, the screaming of his mind very gradually abated. First, he pried his eyes open, staring down at the hand around his arm. Watching the tapping, feeling it, was grounding enough for his hearing to return in time. Virgil could hear Remus beside him, breathing deeply as a guide, and copying the exercise became that much easier. In for four, hold for seven, out for eight. Repeat. And repeat. And repeat.

Remus didn't stop when Virgil did it properly one time over, when he was still shaking and teary. He didn't speak up even when the well behind Anxiety's eyes ran dry, after what had to be a dozen rounds of even breaths. It was only when Virgil finally, hesitantly slipped his wrist out of the other's grasp on his own terms that Remus made any sounds.

“Do you remember when you taught me to do makeup? Late teens, early twenties, around then?”

Talk about a topic shift. Virgil glanced up in confusion.

“I guess so? Wasn't that, like, the only time that we hung out and actually got along?” They’d never exactly been close, Virgil had made sure of that. It was, in retrospect, a regrettable decision on his part.

“Yeah. I was so bad at it, remember?”

“Hell yes, I remember,” Virgil felt a tiny smirk tug his lips at the memory, “You literally never sat still. You were and are the most impatient person I've ever met.”

“I’ve gotten a lot better, Vee.”

Virgil glanced at the bruise-like eyeshadow circling the Duke's eyes, but refrained from saying anything. Knowing him (kind of knowing him? Starting to know him better now? Whatever.) it was most definitely intentionally off-putting, and probably not a good way to judge his actual ability.

“But I’ve seen how you do it, when you really, really try; I think you're still better than me with it, ju-u-ust barely.”

“Oh, uh, thank you,” Virgil wasn't entirely sure where this was going, but he couldn't find the soft excitement in Remus’ eyes anything other than enticing. The creative side laughed, flapping his hand.

“It would be fun if you did it for me again! Just like old times, ey?”

Virgil stared at him, considering him carefully.

“You want me to do your makeup?”

“Yes!” Remus leaned forward with his confirmation, but for once that didn't involve violating Virgil’s post-panic attack bubble, “It'll give you something to do with your hands other than peeling back all your skin, at the very least.”

Oh, right. Virgil not-so-subtly lifted his nails from his palms, wincing at the irritated red spots coloring his hands.

Truth be told, the idea wasn't… unappealing. It was an activity well between mindless and active, repetitive and artistic. Plus, he didn't exactly love being alone after attacks, and if anything Remus would be lively company. Company that he sort of, maybe, possibly was looking forward to spending the rest of the day with anyway, unfortunate events notwithstanding.

“Yeah, alright, if you're sure you want-”

“Great! Wait right there, bee-arh-bee,” before the words were even fully out of his mouth, Remus went limp and fell sideways off of the couch, falling right through the floor.

In his absence, there was a void where his noise had been. Virgil stared at the paused movie scene, picking apart the little details of the frame just to have something to do. His mind drifted off to the state that Roman had been in when he entered. The sight of his friend so furious burned itself on the backs of Virgil’s eyelids. He knew that the anxiety wasn't all his own, either; he could feel it like waves from the other side of the MindPalace, the origin point clearly belonging to Roman.

He should check on him, shouldn't he? Or would that make it worse? Virgil certainly didn't feel like he was in any state to help. But then there was Patton to consider- something must have happened up there. Should he look for him, too?

There was a whoosh.

“I leave you alone for five seconds and you get right back to thinking!” Remus strode across the room, flopping right back onto the couch. Held in his arms was an enormous multi-pocketed bag, items clattering around within at every jostle their owner made.

“Overthinking is literally my whole job, man, this shouldn't surprise you,” Virgil shrugged, trying not to sound as relieved as he felt.

Remus simply rolled his eyes and dropped the makeup case onto Virgil's lap, sitting criss-cross parallel to him, their knees brushing slightly.

Virgil hesitated for a moment, scanning Remus' face, but all the other did was smile and blink (one eye at a time).

Virgil zipped open the bag, rifling through and finding an overwhelming array of gaudy colors and odd products.

“Was there, like, a 'look' that you want to go for?”

Remus shrugged.

“Just go for it! I’m a blank canvas. The worse, the better.”

Virgil chuckled, picking out a few items to fit a theme he was coming up with and getting right to work.

Though it had been years since they’d last spent time together, it wasn’t awkward. In fact, it felt more comfortable than it had back then.

Remus managed to sit almost perfectly still, chattering the entire time that Virgil worked. Yet again his voice served as something like white-noise, wherein Anxiety only had to contribute whenever he chose. Remus only quieted when Virgil had to hold his face, tipping his head back to properly apply inky-black lipstick. And then, he remained silent for a moment, as they surveyed each other.

Virgil had cleared his throat, warmth prickling at his ears, and the ceaseless rambling resumed after that.

In what felt like hours and no time at all, Virgil was finally satisfied with his work.

“Alright, you're all done,” he capped the bottle of mascara in his hand, rifling through Remus' bag for a mirror, “Wanna see?”

Just as he felt the unmistakable cool surface of glass on his fingertips, Remus grabbed his wrist in both hands.

“What-?”

“Not so fast! Now it's my turn,” he announced, his zealous eyes even more prominent on his face thanks to the thick wings of eyeliner around them.

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Virgil looked from the assortment of garish colors that he'd mostly stayed away from in the makeup case, and then back up at the Duke.

“Usually: yes. But I am dead serious right now, Vee.”

Remus looked pleading, legitimately pouting.

Virgil huffed. The side had gone out of his way to help him, when he really didn't have to, so…

“You're not going to just use this as an excuse to draw all over my face, are you?”

“I mean, no promises that I'll be able to restrain myself, but! Gimme a chance anyway, I can make you even hotter than you already are! Plus, we'll match then.”

“... Fine. Just- nothing too crazy, alright?”

“Again, no promises.”

Virgil groaned, but he still passed the bag to Remus.

“Holy shit...”

Remus leaned over the basin of the bathroom sink, drumming his hands on the counter excitedly. He was starry-eyed as he observed the dark, dramatic colors covering his face: metallic emerald-green eyeshadow, excessively long lashes, and winged eyeliner sharp enough to cut a bitch. His lips were black as void, but shimmered like glitter. Everything about the look was dangerous, confrontational, and grim.

“This is more out there than I’d usually wear, but. Yeah, holy shit.”

Virgil's expression, despite his best efforts, was equally awed as he peered into the mirror. The color around his eyes was mismatched; a lime to moss green gradient over his purple eye, lavender to royal violet over his green one- both colors contrasted by smudged black eyeliner under his eye. His signature Racoon Look had been maintained in that aspect, but it was even more exaggerated. In addition to that, Remus had taken to drawing various little symbols along Virgil's cheekbones, including things like upside-down crosses. Finally, there was the fuchsia lip-gloss, stark against Virgil’s paler-than-normal foundation.

“It’s okay, I guess,” Virgil breathed reverently.

“I love it!” Remus crowed, clambering onto the counter just to get a better look at himself. Somehow, he'd already managed to smudge the hell out of his eyeshadow, but it kinda… worked for him, if Virgil was being honest.

“Vee, we have got to do this more often!”

Virgil looked from his reflection to Remus', startled in a way he didn't entirely understand. The intrusive facet met his gaze through the mirror, the smile sliding off his face when Virgil didn’t respond to him.

“Right, Raggedy-Anx? It doesn't have to be this, specifically, if you really don't want to. We could just watch movies together, that's fine. Or we could do anything at all! Right?”

Virgil was still silent, lost in his mind. Remus fell from a kneeling position to sitting with his legs hanging off the counter, turning his back to the mirror.

“Was this a one-time thing? That's alright, too, if you just needed help calming down. I'm not as good as the others, I know, but if they're ever too busy again, you'll think of me when you need help, at least. Right?”

Finally, Virgil snapped out of his daze when he heard the panicked edge to Remus’ voice, feeling his anxiety as Virgil noticed the wild look that had completely erased his giddiness. It was a look that Virgil had seen plenty of times before, when Remus had been ignored far too long and was right about to start ripping things to shreds for some scraps of attention. Only then did Virgil fully recognize what the expression actually meant; the deep, terrified need that swirled behind the look, unsure of how to ask for what it really wanted after so many denials of that very want.

“Shit, sorry,” Virgil moved to stand in front of him, eye-level to Remus even though he was elevated by the counter, “Hey, it's alright, Re, everything's fine.”

Remus was still trying very determinedly to smile.

“I know! Hell, I’m not the anxious one, I'm the one that makes people anxious,” his laugh sounded like it came from a throat full of broken glass, “I just- I liked this, ya know?”

“I know,” Virgil leaned forward, coaxing Remus' arms away from where he'd wrapped them around himself, “I like this, too.”

Remus let Virgil hold onto him, surprised into something like obedience.

“You? What?”

“I like this,” it wasn't as though Virgil was expecting to hug Remus, but it seemed to have happened on its own as they moved. It was leagues nicer than he could have imagined, despite the smell. “I like you…-r company.”

“That's weird,” Remus' legs curled around Virgil’s waist. Virgil rested his hands on Remus’ hips. He listened as the creative trait's breathing evened out, vaguely aware that the situation was similar to the one just an hour or so before. Except, the roles had been reversed, of course.

“I missed you. I know I never told you, but I missed you.”

Virgil felt guilt, hot and molten, dripping down his throat. He couldn't lie; he hadn't missed Remus when he left. But now he did, in a roundabout sort of way. He missed what could have been, all of the possible understanding and friendship and likely more that he could have had for so long with Remus- all of which he'd let slip by for years. Due to just writing the artist off as disgusting, or unnecessary.

And perhaps some of that misunderstanding was Remus' fault as well, but Virgil couldn’t find it in himself to hold it against him.

“You don't have to anymore. Miss me, I mean. I'm- fuck, I'm so sorry.”

“Me too,” Remus said, pulling back to settle Virgil with a happy-yet-tearfilled gaze.

“Aw, hey,” he tightened his grip at Remus' hips, smirking, “You're gonna fuck up all my hard work on that eyeliner, Re.”

Remus laughed, loud and shrieky and him, smiling unnaturally and brilliantly wide once again. Virgil's breath caught in his throat- not for the first time that day, he found himself trapped up in that wild, energetic face.

Before Virgil was entirely aware of what he was doing, he was leaning forward, pulling Remus in by the waist. When the cackling finally stopped short, so did he, both much too far and far too close to the Duke.

He didn't have the chance to explain himself, or apologize, or anything, because soon enough understanding flashed in Remus' eyes.

“Oh, oh yes, oh hell fucking yes.”

Remus didn’t wait a second longer before closing the distance and smashing his lips against Virgil’s. A startled sound bubbled up in his throat, dying quickly as he acclimated to what was happening. Just as he did, he was reciprocating the kiss.

Their teeth clashed together uncomfortably, and Virgil was hyper-aware of the threat both his own and Remus’ fangs posed if they weren’t careful, making it far from the perfect first kiss. But he wouldn’t have wanted that anyway, nor would he have expected it. It was, somehow, better.

Remus' hand dragged down Virgil's back, his fingers fitting onto the notches of the facet’s spine. Virgil shivered, pressing himself flush against the counter (and Remus) and digging his thumbs into the trait’s hips. The motion earned him a beautiful whine from the other as the kiss deepened, growing less awkward and more heated by the second.

Virgil was unaware of how much time was passing, but when they finally parted, both were short of breath and significantly disheveled. Remus had his back pressed up against the mirror, his hair even fuzzier than its usual state, expression dazed and face flushed. From what Virgil could make out in his own reflection, he wasn't much better off.

Just as soon as they'd separated, Remus' hand was on his face, his thumb dragging just under Anxiety's lip.

“You fucked up your lipstick,” he teased.

“So did you,” Virgil answered with a smirk, leaning into the touch.

“I guess we'll have to fix it later.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” Remus wriggled himself out of his pinned position, twisting around Virgil. He managed to situate himself and drop down from the bathroom counter, his manner suggestive, “Because all I wanna do right now is finish watching Cabin Fever with my new goth boyfriend and makeout during the boring parts.”

“Boyfriend?” Virgil ignored the jolt of warmth he felt at that, determined to stay nonchalant as he (subtly (not subtly)) slipped his hand into Remus’.

“You disagree?”

Virgil pretended to think it over, leading them to the door and taking his time to click it open.

“Nah, I don’t disagree,” he said finally, “I think I like the sound of that, actuall- yyyy.”

Virgil stopped short in the open doorway, voice dragging out in his shock. Behind him, he could feel Remus trying to crane around him to see what was happening, but Virgil didn’t move to accommodate him. Well, more accurately, he felt like he couldn’t really move at all, too busy parsing out the scene in front of him.

In the corner of the sectional- sharing a cushion- Janus and Patton sat, the former holding aloft a glass of wine, the latter snacking on a muffin. They sat with their legs tangled together, and had seemed to be engrossed with each other before the interruption. Both had paused mid-conversation to gawk in Virgil's direction, twin deer-in-headlights expressions on their faces.

“What-” Virgil began, bewildered.

“The fuck?” Remus finished, pushing his way out of the bathroom.

Janus struggled to sit up into a more dignified position and take the reigns of the conversation. It didn't take him long to overcome his surprise at the interruption, his surveying gaze sweeping over the other two Dark Sides contemplatively. The look made Virgil’s skin crawl.

“You know, we- well, we could ask you two-” he gestured at their interlocked hands, “-just the same question, couldn't we?”

For a moment, there was silence. Virgil looked from Patton to Janus. Janus looked from Virgil to Remus. Patton looked at the wall like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Remus looked at everyone and broke the silence.

“You didn't see us,” he announced, sidestepping his way to the staircase and dragging Virgil along with him, “And we didn't see you.”

Janus squinted, tipped his head, and nodded conspiratorially.

“Deal.”

With that little grant, Virgil and Remus darted up the stairs and into the sanctuary of the dimly lit hallway as quickly as they could. Luckily for them, Roman was probably either in a deep depression sleep or far into the imagination by now, and Logan Did Not Engage with Interpersonal Drama if he could help it.

There was a second for appreciating the absurdity of the situation (and catching their breath), before either spoke to each other.

“I’ve got a huge flat screen,” Remus piped up at last, jerking his thumb in the direction of his room.

“Any of us can conjure literally anything we want at any time, so I'm not sure what's impressive about that.”

Remus scowled, albeit playfully.

“Hush! Come watch someone slowly be consumed by a parasite with me!”

Virgil rolled his eyes and let Remus drag him off, his complaints accompanied by absolutely no efforts to avoid the situation.

Things were weird, there was no denying that. Maybe they'd end up being that way for a while yet, and Virgil knew he had a lot of news to catch up on, but he found that thoughts like that were way back in his mind. Whatever happened, he reasoned, he would still have this comfort. The arms of someone he was finally coming to know wrapped tight around him, playing up his back, a mouth trailing kisses on his neck as he half-watched horror films. Yes, things would be difficult with the others, but it was secondary.

There was someone on his side now. Solidly, unarguably there for him. With him. And that made it all feel a little bit easier.

194 notes · View notes

rainecreatesstuff · 4 years ago

Text

A Well-Known Fact

Word Count: 8610

Warnings: Janus kinda freaks out when Roman gets mad, but... I think that’s about it? It’s sorta described as a panic attack so. Look out for that.

So, um, this was just an excuse to write Janus-centric fluff, umm.... enjoy?

———————————————————————————————————

A well-known fact about Janus: he is cold-blooded. Or, at least, he thought it was well-known. Remus has known for quite some time, and he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. And whenever Janus was around the others in the Mindscape, he was always somewhere warm, be it under a blanket, by a fire, or near warmed up electronics.

He hadn’t considered that even the most observant of them would fail to observe this.

So now, here he was, trying to figure out how to explain it while Patton kept grabbing his hands, trying to warm them up.

“It really isn't a big deal, Patton. This is just the way I function.”

Patton frowned.

“Sorry kiddo, but no. Virgil runs cold, and he’s warmer than you. Have you been in the Imagination? Are you feeling okay?”

Janus sighed as Patton led him to the couch and threw a blanket over him.

“Yes, I have, and yes, I’m feeling fine. I’m not joking, this is literally how I function.”

Patton huffed.

“You are aware I’m cold-blooded, right?” Janus waved away the hot cocoa the other had made.

“I- what? What do you mean?”

Janus really didn’t want to have to explain this. In all honesty, it was a little embarrassing. He could handle the frightened glances at his scales and his eye, and his forked tongue and his lisp. They were part of his snakelike appearance, and he could easily shapeshift them away if he wanted to.

But his cold-bloodedness? That was something that he couldn’t change, that proved he was inhuman.

And of course it had to be Patton Dad Popstar Morality Sanders that he was explaining it to. He had nothing against Patton, however he was aware of the moral side’s squeamishness. Not only was he morality, but he was also Thomas’ emotions. And Janus was almost certain that the side that had screamed at cartoon spiders would find his inhumanity disturbing, or at the very least frightening.

“I don’t function the same as you, and the others. My body can’t regulate my temperature. I was in the Imagination today, and Roman and Remus tend to keep it cold and rainy during fall, so it makes sense that I’d be a little colder than usual.”

Patton didn’t seem frightened, just… startled.

“How does that work? We’re not real. Well, of course we’re real but… we don’t have like… physical bodies? So how do you get all cold n’ stuff?”

Janus shrugged.

“I don’t know. Just happens. I’ve gotten used to it after all these years. As long as I go under my heat lamp for a while every day during the fall and winter, I’m fine.”

Patron huffed.

“Well, that’s no good! You can’t be locked up in your room all the time just ‘cause you’re chilly!” Patton threw another throw blanket over him.

“When Roman gets back I’ll ask him to put a lamp in here, if that’s okay.” He smiled widely.

“Uh- yeah, um that’s-that’s fine.” Janus accepted the cocoa and snuggled into the blankets.

That had gone… well. Too well. Was he just pretending? Patton didn’t like lying, he knew that, but he’d seen him repress several times, so hiding discomfort was a strength of his.

Janus eyed him warily.

“You’re not… upset?”

Patton’s eyes widened.

“Oh, Jam, did you not tell me ‘cause you thought I’d be weird about it? Of course I’m not upset! When Virgil started hanging out with us we had to make a few adjustments to make him more comfy, and we’re more than willing to do the same for you!” Patton gripped one of Janus’ hands in his own, rubbing the back with his thumb.

“Oh. Uh, thanks.”

Patton grinned.

“Of course, kiddo! I was gonna make some cookies, do you wanna help decorate them once you’ve warmed up some?”

Janus felt a ‘no’ at the tip of his tongue, but then Patton looked up at him with his signature puppy eyes, and Janus couldn’t have said no if he’d tried.

“Yes, I’d love that.”

Patton squealed.

“Alrighty! I’ll go get them started then! Lemme know if you need anything!” He bounced up from the couch, planting a kiss on Janus’ head before skipping into the kitchen.

The next person he told was Roman. He’d been expecting it, as a request for a heat lamp would probably seem pretty odd.

Roman had come into the commons while Janus had been basking. Which, in all honesty, just meant he was lying under the heat lamp and playing on his phone while Patton cooked dinner. The prince had walked right over, sat beside him, and stayed there for a few minutes.

“Okay, I don’t get it.”

Janus rolled his eyes.

“Don’t get what?”

“Why you wanted this put in? It’s not really that great. Actually, it’s a little uncomfortable.” Roman moved to sit on the couch.

“What does it matter to you?” Janus hissed.

God damnit Patton was looking at him all disappointedly.

“Kiddo..”

Ughhhh not with that voice, he can’t do that, that’s unfair.

“Imcldbldd”

“What?”

“I’m cold blooded.”

Roman froze for a second.

“What the fuck, Jan?”

Patton kept a close eye on the two, sending a worried glance in Janus’ direction.

“It’s totally my fault, I obviously chose to be Deceit.”

“No, fuck, not like… I meant that I’ve literally dragged you into the cold, rainy imagination for adventures and you didn’t fucking say anything?” Roman looked furious.

Janus’ eyes widened. That’s what he was upset about? Not the fact that Janus, a master of deception and an embodiment of lies was literally cold blooded, but the fact that he’d never complained about it?

“Oh, please do act like you wouldn’t have flipped out if I’d told you before all of… this.”

Janus curled in on himself a little more.

“Before the Melding? Yeah. But it’s been cold out for weeks. And you’ve been into the Imagination like… every few days, and that’s just with me! I have no clue how many times Remus has dragged you out there!” Roman was back beside Janus again, and holy shit was he angry, he’s angry, hurt, he might hurt you-

Patton.

“Hey, Roman, kiddo, can you come help me over here?” Janus mimicked Patton’s voice, and placed in just right so it would bounce off the walls correctly.

Roman got up, his eyes still filled with fire.

“We are not done talking about this. As soon as I’m done helping him, I’m coming right back here.”

Janus took the chance to sink into his room and lock the door. Now that he’d slowed down, thought it through a bit, he regretted it. But… he was self-preservation. As good as Virgil was at keeping Thomas out of dangerous situations, Janus would always have a little bit of that fight or flight response built into him. He didn’t cause it, but, clearly, he responded to it, whether he liked it or not.

Knocking, now there was knocking at the door. He took a deep breath. Roman wouldn’t hurt him. He was safe around Roman.

He opened the door, and Roman pushed past him, sitting on his bed. Janus slowly moved to sit across from him.

“Okay, one, was there any particular reason you rushed out?” Roman looked concerned, now, but still so mad.

“You just… scared me.” Ugh, what was he doing?

It had been a rhetorical question, this was stupid. He was supposed to keep feelings like these ones hidden. It was what he’d decided on ages ago. What was he doing?

“I.. okay, one sec. No. I am not mad at you for being cold blooded. I am upset that you didn’t tell me before I brought you into situations that could’ve hurt you.” Roman set his hands on Janus’s arms, lightly rubbing them with his thumbs.

“It’s not life-threatening. Nor is it threatening at all. I just get a little… uncomfortable.”

Roman looked crestfallen.

“Jan, you of all sides should know that your safety and comfort is, and always will be more important than whatever adventure I go on, or whatever story I tell. I need you to tell me if something could put your health, physical or mental, at risk, okay?”

Janus felt like he was going to cry. Which was strange, as he hadn’t cried since they were little. He nodded softly, the lump in his throat stopping any words he might have said.

“C’mere,” Roman pulled him into a hug.

He squeezed tightly before pulling back, wiping a tear from Janus’ face.

“Roman, Janus! Dinner’s ready!” Patton called.

Roman lifted an eyebrow at Janus, to which he let out a small laugh and shook his head. Roman grinned, then stood up and offered Janus his hand.

“Thank you.” The words were thick and dripping with way more meaning than was required for a hand up, but, well…

It looked like Roman understood.

Next was Logan.

Logan had approached him and asked if it would be okay if he asked Janus a few questions. As much as Janus didn’t want the others dabbling in his business, Logan had seemed so excited, which was a rare occurrence as of lately. So he let himself be lead into Logan’s room, sitting on his bed as Logan took a seat at his desk.

“So, it has come to my attention that you are ectothermic?”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I believe Roman used the term cold-blooded?” Logan grabbed a lemon yellow notebook from a drawer, along with a pen.

“Mm. Yes, that I am.”

Logan flipped the book open and began writing.

“Fascinating! It had not occurred to me that this was even possible, what with us being projections of light while being on the physical realm. Does it affect you while in the physical realm and the mental realm?” Logan’s eyes sparkled.

“Yes, and it carries over between the realms.” Janus supposed he should feel like Logan was invading but… something about Logan’s analytic speech patterns made it seem less invasive.

“Mm… and I believe Roman also mentioned the Imagination affecting you more than our rooms and commons?”

“No, it’s not that the Imagination affects me more, it’s that right now the twins have made a point of keeping the Imagination cold for fall.” Janus couldn’t help it if his voice turned a little bit exasperated.

“Ah, yes, that would make much more sense. Have you any idea why you’re ectothermic?” Logan continued carefully writing in his notebook.

“Remus said at one point it might be due to my animal being a snake, but I don’t think that’s it. The scales and tongue are simply my appearance.” Janus fidgeted with his gloves.

“So you cannot shapeshift it away?”

“Mm, no. I must say it is incredibly irritating impersonating you, or Patton for that matter. Your short sleeves are horribly uncomfortable.” He smirked, moving so he was sitting criss cross on the bed.

“Well, it is incredibly irritating being impersonated, so perhaps it makes up for itself.” Logan glared at Janus for a moment, and he returned it.

Janus started softly laughing.

“Don’t laugh over my intimidating glare, it makes it seem insincere.” Logan’s voice kept an edge, but his eyes were smiling.

“Of course, Oppy, I would never even think of it.” Janus purred.

“Oppy? As in, the Opportunity rover?” Logan raised an eyebrow at Janus.

“Yes, I heard you had quite an attachment to her.” Janus smiled.

“I- um, yes, I suppose I did enjoy gathering information on the rover. The team that worked on her-it- had some interesting experiences during its mission. It supposedly lasted 50 times longer than they expected it to, and-“ Logan paused.

“I apologize, that was not your reason for being here. I will refrain from… rambling.”

Janus frowned a little.

“I wouldn’t mind veering off topic. Besides, it’s not like I’ve got anything else to do.”

Logan paused, his face blank, as if he was rebooting.

“I… okay. May I ask another question?” Logan tapped his pen against his notebook.

Janus gestured for him to continue.

“While I do enjoy the topic of the Mars rovers, I am a little confused as to what resemblance you see between them and myself.”

Janus smiled.

“Well, for one thing, robots are your thing. I may not have been present during Thomas’ puppet fiasco, but I did catch wind that you changed your appearance to match a robot rather than a puppet.”

“Oh, it was a puppet. I had not had enough time to plan and create a robotic body for myself, so it was merely a puppet shaped like a robot.”

“Yes, yes, of course. But besides that, you do remind me of those excitable lab robots who are simultaneously amazingly intelligent, kind, and assholes.”

That startled a laugh out of Logan, to which Janus held back a grin.

“Ah, thank you, I’ll make sure to write that down.” Logan bit back a smile, closing his notebook and placing his pen in its holder.

“If you… wanted to, I would not object to learning more about the Mars rovers.” Janus coaxed Logan a little, smiling when he saw his eyes light up.

“Oh! Yes, of course! The Mars rovers, affectionately nicknamed the “Adventure twins,” Spirit and Opportunity, landed on Mars on January 3rd and 24th, 2004 on a 90-day long mission, but they both lived well beyond that time. Opportunity, specifically, spent 15 years on Mars, collecting data that has proved that Mars could have sustained microbial life.” Logan tapped his hands on his legs as he spoke.

Janus asked questions every now and again, and Logan answered with a small smile and a light in his eyes. It was great to see Logan ramble without caution, much like when they were kids.

When Logan had finished, he seemed to be in an even better mood than before. His hands continued tapping, and Janus could see him fighting back a smile.

“While I have you here, Janus,” Logan glanced to the side for a moment, then nodded his head and continued, “Patton and Roman wanted me to ask you if you would accompany us at “family movie night” this Friday. Do not feel inclined to participate, I understand if it would be too much, as you are not one for social events, but if you would like to come, the invitation is there.” He bit his lip gently as he ended, glancing up at Janus.

“While I would love to, I’m not sure everyone would be as comfortable as they would prefer to be if I were there.” Janus’ tone held a pinch of remorse.

“If you are referring to Virgil, we talked to him beforehand and he stated that he would not be opposed to you joining us.” Logan seemed to be bargaining in some small way.

Janus nearly laughed.

“I’ll consider it, then.” He stood up and smiled at Logan and watched as the teacher startled, turning away a bit.

“Yes, that is… satisfactory.”

“And Logan, do-“ Janus’ voice abruptly cut out.

“Janus? Are you alright?” Logan leapt to his feet, placing a hand on Janus’ arm.

“Ye-“ It didn’t hurt, oddly enough.

He just couldn’t speak? Realization flooded Logan’s eyes, and he led Janus out of his room and into the commons, sitting them down on the couch.

“Are you alright now? It seems my room began to cut off your… backwards speaking. As well as lying.” Logan kept his hands on Janus’ elbows.

“I’m fine.” Janus smirked as Logan’s eyes narrowed.

“Communicate a falsehood, please.”

“My my Logan, whatever has drawn you to the dark side?” Logan rolled his eyes affectionately at Janus’ teasing.

“Janus.”

“Fine. Mmm… You enjoy nearly all jelly brands, other than Crofter’s.” Logan levelled him with a glare, causing Janus to cackle.

“Why must you hurt me like this?” Logan asked, his face completely devoid of emotion.

Janus' laugh rang loud and clear, and Logan grinned, for just a moment. He let his hands move to Janus’, squeezing them gently.

“You must be more careful in the future; spending too long in my room could permanently alter your function.”

Janus lifted Logan’s hands to his mouth, kissing them gently.

“Don’t worry your pretty head about it, sweet Logic. I’m fine.”

Logan went pink, breaking eye contact with Janus.

“Well, caution will do no harm to anyone. Please tell me if you begin feeling different while in my room, okay? You would do the same in Patton or Virgil’s, would you not?”

“Of course. I’ll tell you in the future, promise.” Janus rubbed his thumbs over Logan’s hands.

Logan threw him one last glance, then sighed and nodded. He pulled his hands away, adjusting his glasses.

“I should return to my work. Thomas has a brainstorming session with Joan soon that I must prepare for.” Logan stood up, adjusting his tie.

“Have you bored of my company?” Janus smirked.

“Oh, shush,” Logan smiled back, pressing a soft kiss to Janus’ cheek. “I’ll see you at dinner tonight.”

Janus let out some sort of squeak which Logan seemed to take as affirmation, as he returned to his room.

He should probably have felt a little irritated that Logan would do that and then run off but… when he blushed pretty like that? Janus couldn’t find it in himself to care.

Virgil had already known. Janus had told him long before the Melding, way back when Virgil had still ID’d as a “Dark Side.” He’d actually been the first person Janus had told.

They’d been about twelve, when Virgil had only been around for a short while. He’d walked into Janus’ room during one of Janus’ cold spells, when he’d had several blankets piled on him, and was shaking like a jackhammer.

Virgil had run in, asking what was wrong. Janus had, begrudgingly, explained what had happened, and Virgil had gone quiet. He’d lifted the blankets, sitting beside Janus and cuddling him as he warmed up. He’d been the one to suggest the heat lamp, and Janus would forever be in his debt for it.

Now, Janus sat on the floor with a heavy blanket draped over him as they watched Hercules. The four lovebirds were cuddling on the couch, Roman loudly belting out I Will Go the Distance. Patton was giggling, singing along to the parts he knew as Logan and Virgil watched on with endearment.

Janus couldn’t help but feel like a fifth wheel. Remus had decided not to join them that night, so Janus felt a bit invasive. Virgil continuously glanced over at him, as if ensuring that Janus wouldn’t ruin anything. The others also kept looking over to Janus, though it was decidedly for different reasons.

Patton seemed nervous, and Roman was trying to convince Janus to sing with him. Logan just seemed fond.

Janus tried his best to keep his attention on the movie, but it was hard when he continuously caught them looking at him out of the corner of his eye. At one point, Patton had gotten up to refill their popcorn, and had run a hand through Janus’ hair as he passed. Janus tried not to lean into it too obviously, but he’d practically purred at the gesture.

Virgil had glanced over to him, and Janus had caught his eye. He… he didn’t seem mad, or even upset. Just… nervous. It was the same way he looked before Thomas performed, or asked a cute boy out.

Janus and Virgil had at least been on talking terms for a while, so… what was that about?

The movie finished, and they voted on the next movie. Roman tried to rig the vote for Moana, but Janus immediately caught it and reversed the rig so it would favour Big Hero 6, Logan’s requested movie. Roman picked the paper from Janus’ hat and gawked as Janus snickered to himself on the floor. Virgil and Logan helped Roman move on from his mourning as Patton giggled and raised an eyebrow at Janus.

Janus shrugged, his signature gesture for “Yeah, I fucked with it, what can ya do?”

About halfway through the movie, Janus began to grow cold. As he noticed his shivering, he placed a gentle mirage over himself so the others wouldn’t notice. It wasn’t to the point where he was in any danger, barely any discomfort, and the movie would be over soon, so he could just leave his heat lamp on as he slept. Virgil frowned at him, and Janus froze.

There was no way he could see through the mirage. Janus had been very careful while placing it. Virgil, especially, shouldn’t have noticed it. As anxiety, mirages worked quite well on him.

“Hey. You’re cold. Come here.” Virgil spoke softly, but sternly.

Janus huffed.

“I’m fine. I simply forgot to bask earlier. I’ll survive until the movie’s done, I assure you.” Janus hugged his blanket a little closer.

“Don’t care. C’mere.”

Janus warily eyed Virgil, who moved over on the couch to make room for Janus between himself and Patton. He carefully made his way over, sitting down between the two of them and doing his best not to touch either of them too much. His efforts were immediately negated, as Patton cuddled up next to him as soon as he sat down.

He had to admit, it was very nice to be cuddling someone again. Especially Patton, who ran the warmest out of all of them.

Virgil also leaned into him, resting his head on Janus’ shoulder and turning his attention back to the movie. Janus slowly felt himself warming up as he grew more comfortable in the cuddle pile. Roman leaned over and took one of his hands, rubbing it with his thumb.

Janus felt like he was about to melt. Not literally, of course. He was quite comfortable in his position. No, he was going to melt as in there were so many warm, fuzzy feelings welled up inside him that he was sure they would start oozing out of him if he weren’t careful.

Virgil’s hands slipped around Janus’ waist, pulling him somehow even closer. Roman sighed happily as Virgil began softly purring, his eyes closed. The movie was nearly forgotten by all except Logan, who was completely fixated on it, muttering to himself quietly.

“What’re you thinking, Specs?”

Logan blinked, turning to Roman as he processed the question.

“My apologies, I didn't mean to interrupt the movie.”

“Mm, nope. No apologizing. What’s up?” Virgil blinked open an eye, glancing at Logan.

“I was merely wondering the logistics of the microbots in this movie. We have already achieved a high level of synchronization with drones, so creating a smaller version of said drones would not be incredibly difficult.

“The only problem I could see with them is the almost telepathic connection to them, though we have nearly created a program that can process and recreate images from the brain. So these bots are almost achievable right now.”

Roman whistled.

“Damn, wouldn’t that be cool? I mean there’s obviously the whole construction use, but imagine the special effects!” Roman grinned at Logan.

“I suppose that would be an adequate use for them. I imagine waves and particle effects would be much more easy to create with the bots.”

The two began bouncing ideas off of each other, debating the uses of microbots as Janus, Virgil and Patton watched on with fondness.

Virgil sighed happily. Janus fought the urge to kiss his forehead, and, wow, that’s back, that’s not good.

He must have looked sad, because Patton hugged him tighter and nuzzled his arm. Janus gave him a small, reassuring smile. Patton’s face turned stern, in a “we’re talking about this later” way. Janus wasn’t sure whether or not he should be worried.

Virgil’s breathing began to slow beside Janus, his face relaxing as he began softly purring again. Janus ran a hand through Virgil’s hair, laughing softly as he smiled in his sleep. Patton sighed happily, kissing Janus’ cheek before resting his head on Janus’ shoulder.

Roman caught Janus’ eye, and grinned.

“Aw, looks like you’ve hypnotized our dearest Emo and Pops.”

Janus smiled.

“Can’t say I’m upset.” He purred, continuing to play with Virgil’s hair.

Roman’s teasing smirk turned soft, and Logan wrapped his arms around Roman’s waist, sinking into him. Logan glanced up, and tiredly smiled up at Janus. Roman kissed Logan’s forehead, then reached for Janus’ hand and kissed it.

Janus felt a soft blush warming his face, and turned away slightly as Roman adjusted his hold on Janus’ hand, entwining their fingers.

“You wanna help me get them to bed?”

Logan frowned.

“I could’ve helped.”

Roman chuckled.

“I know, love, but you’re already half asleep yourself.”

“I am not. I’m completely awake.”

“Mhm, tell that to your eyelids.”

Logan huffed, then gently punched Roman’s shoulder and stood up.

“Asshat.”

Roman laughed.

“I’m serious. No kisses for you tonight.” Logan walked past Roman, over to Janus, and kissed his head.

“Babeee.” Roman reached out to Logan as he whined.

“Nope. Goodnight.” Logan smiled and went upstairs.

Janus chuckled as Roman pouted after him. Roman sighed.

“I’ll take Patton if you take Vee?”

Janus bit the inside of his cheek. If Virgil woke up, he’d probably be upset, but… he looked completely knocked out. And it would only take a minute, so…

“Sure.”

Roman stood, then lifted Patton off of Janus and into his arms.

“Night, Jan.”

“Night.”

Roman carried Patton upstairs. Janus sighed, then shifted Virgil off him gently so he could stand up. He picked up Virgil and began making his way to Virgil’s room. He was still surprised by how light Virgil was- Vee had always joked about it being because of his correlation with spiders, saying he didn’t have an endoskeleton. Well, he was pretty sure Virgil had been joking. Maybe he could ask Logan about it.

Janus arrived at Virgil’s door, which had luckily been left open, and slipped into the room, laying Virgil on his bed gently. He found Virgil’s make-up wipes and wiped off the eyeshadow that remained beneath his eyes, then stood to leave. Again, the urge to kiss Virgil’s forehead arose, and he indulged it this time, before turning to leave.

“Jan?”

Janus froze, and turned around to find Virgil staring up at him, his eyes alert and very awake. A chorus of ‘fuck’s ran through his head.

“Yeah?”

Virgil stayed silent for a moment, then spoke up, “Can you stay?”

Well, that wasn’t the response he’d been expecting. Maybe a “what the fuck,” or a “get out,” or perhaps even a “why.” But definitely not this.

Janus choked out a “yeah,” and walked back over to the bed. Virgil held the covers up for him, and he crawled under. Virgil cuddled up to his chest as Janus hesitantly laid his arm over Virgil’s waist.

“Why-“

“Shhhhh… in the morning, okay?” Virgil cut him off.

Janus swallowed nervously, but nodded. Virgil sighed and pulled Janus closer, his breathing steadying more with second. Eventually, soft snores came from his sleeping form. Janus rested his cheek against Virgil’s hair, and let out a breath.

He and Virgil hadn’t cuddled this much since… well before the Melding. It felt a little strange but… mostly it just felt safe. Like a warm cup of cocoa after a long day in the snow, or curling up in your favourite blanket after a hard day at work.

Janus let himself savour the moment, and silently prayed for whatever god was up there to let him fall asleep.

…

Well that’s a no.

Janus rolled his eyes. Of all nights, it had to be this one, huh?

Virgil twitched in his sleep, and Janus bit his lip. He knew Virgil was prone to nightmares, being Anxiety and all, but it didn’t mean he had to like it. He wondered if he would still…?

Janus moved his hand up to softly pet Virgil’s hair, and he seemed to calm down. Janus laughed quietly as Virgil resumed his purring.

Janus eventually noticed the gloves that still covered his hands, and groaned. That’s why he couldn’t sleep. Awful. He removed them, careful not to disturb Virgil, and placed them behind him on the nightstand. He continued playing with Virgil’s hair, until his eyelids grew heavy and his hands stopped moving. As the safety of sleep washed over him, he couldn’t remember being this happy in a long time.

“Virg- oh my goodness. Oh my goodness, Roman, you have to see this!”

“What’s wrong, Pa- oh my god. That’s adorable.”

“I know, right?! Do you think they’d be upset if I took a picture?”

“They might. Virgil doesn’t like photos without his eyeshadow on.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Aww Logan woulda loved seeing this though!”

“Heh, Specs would’ve gone so soft seeing this.”

Janus’ eyes slowly blinked open, the soft sunlight coming from the window flooding his vision.

“Oh shit they’re awake-“

“Language!”

“Go go go abort mission!”

The door slammed shut as Janus turned around, giggles ringing out from behind it. Even in his morning bleariness, Janus couldn’t help but find it endearing.

“Wha…?” Janus turned back around to see Virgil sitting up halfway, leaning on his elbow.

A knot twisted itself in Janus’ stomach, and his hands began shaking.

“Oh. Mornin.” Virgil mumbled, falling back onto the bed.

“Good morning.” Janus replied, sitting up.

He slipped his gloves back on, and began getting out of bed. Virgil reached over and grabbed his wrist before he was able to.

“Jan, what’s-“ He looked up at Janus, his eyes widening. “Fuck, you gotta get out of here.” Virgil suddenly sunk out, dragging Janus with him.

When he opened his eyes again, Janus was sitting on the couch in the commons. The scenario felt scarily familiar.

“Oh, I just love doing that immediately after waking up. It doesn’t feel weird at all.” Janus hissed.

“Dude, you had eyeshadow down to your nose. You’re welcome.” Virgil threw his hood up, then sank into the couch cushions.

Janus bit his lip.

“Thank you, I suppose.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

Janus played with the hem of his gloves. They really should talk. Didn’t mean Janus had to initiate it. Even though he did. Because Virgil would be nervous about it, and they’d just continue skirting around everything.

“We should talk.” The words felt alien in Janus’ mouth.

Virgil groaned.

“Do we have to? I, like, just woke up, man.”

“You asked to talk about it in the morning.”

“It was like 2AM dude, you can't hold me at that.”

“I absolutely can and will.”

Patton and Roman appeared at the top of the stairs, giggling to themselves. They glanced down and saw Janus and Virgil on the couch, and got quiet. Patton met Janus’ eye and gave him a reassuring smile, before gently pulling Roman back upstairs.

“Let’s...o...ake...gan.” Was all Janus could make out.

Virgil groaned.

“What, did you get my boyfriends in on this too?”

Janus scoffed.

“Like I would use your boyfriends against you.”

“Oh, you absolutely would. Though you’ve been starting to use yourself against me too.”

“Oh, Virgil, who knew you could be so forward?” Janus smirked as Virgil shoved him.

“Like you haven’t been flirting with my boyfriends for the past three months.”

Janus bit his lip.

“Is that alright?”

Virgil finally looked over to him, his eyes wide.

“Uh, yeah, of course.”

Janus frowned.

“You sound like that should be obvious.”

Virgil stared at him, then started laughing. Janus fought down a smile.

“What?”

“Dude, seriously? Oh my god, I don’t know how to tell you this, but if I’m inviting you to cuddle with me and my boyfriends, I’m obviously fine with you flirting with us.” Virgil grinned.

Janus lifted an eyebrow.

“Oh? Us?”

Virgil turned red, and pulled on his hoodie strings a little.

“Nope. I’ll talk about whatever you want, but I am not dealing with that this early.” Virgil mumbled.

“Fine. But you do want to talk?”

Virgil bit his lip, and pulled his hoodie sleeves up.

“I mean, whatever. I don’t really care. But Patton wants me to talk to you and you said you wanted to talk so… whatever. You have to go first though.”

Janus nodded, and brought his legs up to sit cross-legged on the couch.

“Okay. We both know that we both suck at this, so laugh if you please, but know that I then will not hesitate to do the same.” Janus figured that was a good way to start.

It had gotten a small laugh out of Virgil, so it should be fine.

“I… acknowledge that the way I behaved, both prior to the Melding and for a short while after was unacceptable. I know I hurt you a lot, especially when we were young, and I apologize for that.” He paused for a moment.

This all felt so staged. Like he’d stolen it from some story and recited it. Saying it out loud made him feel the same way Patton felt when lying. Like a hurricane had replaced his stomach and the rest of his organs had to deal with the consequences.

“I know I may not be able to remedy it, but I would like to try. I’m working on being more honest and vulnerable, and I would really appreciate it if I had you helping me out with it.” Everything he’d ever known about speaking to people had apparently left his brain.

He wasn’t making eye contact, why the fuck wasn’t he making eye contact? His words were blunt and inelegant.

He finally brought himself to look up at Virgil again.

“Yeah, I mean… thanks, I guess. And uh… I’m… sorry, for kinda being a dick to you after you introduced yourself to Thomas. I know how weird and scary that is so… yeah.”

Janus huffed.

“It was well within your rights to, I wasn’t exactly the nicest either.” His hands gestured as he spoke.

“Yeah, but I did kinda egg the others on too.”

“Ehh, we’re all petty bitches sometimes. I get it.” That startled a sharp laugh out of Virgil, and Janus smiled.

“I’m glad to finally have another petty bitch around to help me out when Roman steals my eyeshadow.”

“Who says I won’t be helping him steal your eyeshadow? Honestly, sounds like fun.” Janus grinned as Virgil punched his arm.

“Asshat.”

“Your asshat.”

Virgil’s smile turned a little softer.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

He stood, then reached to help Janus up.

“Come help me give my boyfriend shit for eavesdropping.” Virgil grinned.

Janus heard a quiet “fUCK-“ come from the top of the staircase, followed by pounding footsteps. He smirked, grabbing Virgil’s arm.

“Gladly.”

They hadn’t spoken about everything, they hadn’t spoken much at all, but they didn’t need to, not right now. It was a healing process. The fact that there was now a reaching branch, a bridge built over their last one, was enough for now. They’d work through it bit by bit, and eventually they’d get there. Until then, Janus was happy to accept this new, but familiar friendship. And as he listened to Virgil and Roman teasing each other, he knew he’d be more than happy with it.

This had to be a dream, of some sorts. This couldn’t be real. Maybe Remus was playing a trick on him, or maybe he’d tricked himself, or something. But he definitely wasn’t in reality.

In the morning, after breakfast, Roman had asked him to come into the Imagination with him for a little while. There had been this beautiful little green clearing among the fall-covered trees, and when he stepped into it, it was as warm as a spring day. They’d sat on one of the rocks, and talked about Thomas’ most recent musical obsession. Roman had, at some point, turned on the soundtrack and convinced Janus to perform some of the duets with him.

Then Patton had requested his help with decorations for their upcoming Christmas celebration (upcoming, as in, in about a month), and Janus had helped with that for a while. Patton put on his favourite Christmas music, and they’d started doing some weird kind of swing dance in the empty family room. Patton had asked for his assistance in hanging mistletoe over the couch, and given him a peck on the cheek before dancing away.

Logan had popped in, and asked if Janus could help him with a schedule. They’d gone to Logan’s room, and Logan had run the schedule by Janus, thanking him when he pointed out any errors or impractical time usage. They’d ended up talking about the new year, how illogical and silly their traditions were. Logan had grumbled something about New Year’s resolutions, then begrudgingly showed Janus a memory of Thomas, him, Roman, Virgil, and Patton singing a silly song regarding them. Janus helped him plan some reasonable, yet still exciting resolutions in advance.

Virgil had knocked on the door, and asked to borrow him. He’d been planning presents for the other sides but wasn’t sure about them yet. Janus helped him sift through ideas, and gave him the little push needed to actually make the gifts. Virgil sat on his lap as he started making the most elaborate one (Roman’s), and Janus hooked his arms around Virgil’s torso so he could see to help Virgil with the details.

So, all in all, a wonderful day.

Now, Janus sat on the family room floor, with Virgil’s head in his lap and Roman leaning against his shoulder, with the coffee table moved up against the wall. Patton was sitting on the couch behind him, putting little braids in his hair, and Logan was curled up against Patton. Something was on the TV, but Janus wasn’t really paying attention. He, honestly, couldn’t remember being this happy his entire life.

And then Patton asked if it was okay if they talked about something.

Janus felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. Surely, they weren’t upset with him, right? He couldn’t think of anything he could have done, at least recently, to upset them. Did they just… not want him around anymore? He’d been expecting it, at first, but he’d thought things had been going pretty well…

“What about?”

Patton gently nudged Logan, and the two moved to sit on the floor in front of Janus.

“So, Jan, we all know that the temperature has really fallen recently, and Christmas is coming up soon too…” Patton seemed to be fighting down a smile, like he’d heard the best joke and wanted to tell it to them.

Okay, so not anything to do with right now, but with Christmas. Maybe they needed his help with something? That seemed reasonable.

Virgil sat up, then walked over to the coffee table, grabbing a wrapped box from the shelf on the underside.

“We, uh, made a gift for you, but, we figured you’d like it before it got too cold out.” He sat down next to Janus, cross-legged, and passed him the gift.

Janus frowned, but began unwrapping it. Patton looked like he was about to burst with joy, and even Logan seemed cautiously excited.

He unwrapped it, setting the wrapping paper to the side, and found… A blanket?

“It’s a heated blanket,” Logan spoke up, “You can charge its battery, and it has a built-in heating pad. We figured you’d find it useful.”

Janus blinked, staring at the box.

“It also has lavender pouches in it, because Vee said you sometimes have trouble sleeping, and I figured it might help.” Roman looked up from his shoulder, smiling.

“So… do you like it?” Patton asked.

Janus remained quiet for another moment, as Patton’s grin slowly fell.

“I… this is… amazing.” Janus muttered.

“Are you sure? If you don’t like it, we can always get you something else, and-“

“Patton,” Janus interrupted, “I love it. Seriously. Thank you all, so much.”

Patton’s grin returned, and Virgil let out a sigh of relief from beside him.

“Hey, hey Jam, now, if you wanna, it’ll be easier for you to come into the Imagination!” Roman grinned, and Janus let out a happy laugh.

“Of course, I’d love to.” He placed a soft kiss on Roman’s forehead.

“In that case, would you like to join us there tonight? We were planning on star gazing, and we would enjoy your company.” Logan seemed somewhat flustered, like he’d rehearsed this.

“I do believe my schedule’s open tonight.” Janus smiled.

Patton squealed, and moved to hug Janus. Janus held him tightly, and waited for him to let go first. This all felt so amazingly weird. They’d planned out and worried about getting him a gift he’d like and use, and had absolutely nailed it.

“If you’ll excuse me, I must get to work on making sure the constellations will line up right.” Roman winked, and stood up, “Logan, I’m gonna steal your star charts, yeah?” Roman said, already halfway up the stairs.

“Oh, no you will not, I have them perfectly organized and you will not be messing them up!” Logan chased Roman upstairs, and Janus could hear Roman cackling evilly as he did.

Virgil smirked, and leaned back against Janus.

“Open the box, I think you’ll like it even more.” He muttered.

Janus gave him a quizzical look, but opened the box, and- wow.

It was a red, velvety blanket with yellow flowers embroidered around the edge. It had clearly been stitched together by Virgil, as his signature stitching style was along the edges. When he ran his hand along it, Janus could feel the heating pad in the middle, as well as the lavender pouches. It was like a little part of all of them had been sewn into the very cloth of the blanket. Janus felt his eyes tear up.

“Thank you guys, so much.” He choked out.

Patton kissed his cheek, and cuddled him close.

“Merry early Christmas, Janus!”

Then, Janus did something that was probably really stupid, and was probably going to get him yelled at by at least three people.

He let his hand find Patton’s chin, and tilted his head up to look at Janus.

“I really want to kiss you right now, but I won’t if you don’t want to.” He mumbled.

He heard Virgil gasp softly. Patton blinked up at him for a moment, silent, and Janus worried that he’d horribly miscalculated, before Patton grabbed the collar of Janus’ shirt and kissed him sweetly. When he pulled back, Patton had a huge grin on his face.

Patton began giggling to himself.

“What?” Janus asked breathlessly.

“Roman and Logan are gonna be so pissed I kissed you first!”

Virgil gasped.

“Language! Jeez, Pat, one kiss with a snake and you’re swearing all over the place.” Virgil teased.

Janus glanced between the two nervously.

“I feel like I’ve missed something.”

Virgil cackled.

“Well, you see, Patton, Roman, and Logan have all been trying to kiss you before the other two could. A sort of bet, if you will.”

Janus stared at him blankly for a moment, then began snickering.

“Oh, please tell me who you bet for, Virgil.”

“Are you kidding me? Obviously Patton. If you hadn’t initiated it, his puppy eyes woulda caught you off guard eventually.”

“Fair enough,” Janus grinned, “What was bet?”

“Well, Patton gets to do Logan’s nails, which I’m like 80% certain he’ll love, because of the clicking, and I get to dress Roman for a day.”

“Oh, I cannot wait to see that.” Janus purred.

“Despite what he says, Ro loves hoodies, so I’m sure it won’t bother him too much.” Patton shrugged, leaning against Janus again.

“It was more of a joke than anything.”

Janus nodded. Virgil wasn’t completely merciless- The most he’d make Roman do is wear some really emo makeup.

The three sat there peacefully for a little while, Virgil scrolling through his phone as Patton and Janus talked about the winter garden they’d been planning to put somewhere in the Imagination.

“Hey, Pat, what’re we doing for dinner?” Virgil asked.

Patton gasped.

“Oh! Lo sent me this recipe a few days ago for us to make our own pizzas instead of ordering them! I’ve really wanted to try it out!” Patton said as he scrolled through his phone.

He showed his phone to Janus, then Virgil.

“Sounds good, want some help with it?” Virgil glanced across Janus to Patton.

“Sure, kiddo! C’mon!” The two got up, and Patton offered Janus a hand up.

“You wanna help too?”

“Of course.” Janus smiled, accepting the hand up.

Roman led the way as they trampled through the undergrowth of the Imagination. Janus was already bundled up in his new blanket, which- as he’d predicted- was the perfect temperature. It seemed to have some sort of spell on it that kept it to whatever temperature he wanted at any given moment.

Eventually, the forest broke, and they found themselves standing in a field covered in little white flowers, with patches of asters sprinkled about. The moon shone brightly above them, covering the field in a soft glow as they found the large blanket Roman had laid out for them. They sat down, Patton running his fingers over the flowers that poked out over the edge of the blanket.

Logan sat down in Janus’ lap, taking Janus’ hands and fiddling with them.

“Roman, this is… beautiful. The flowers are even season-accurate.” Logan mumbled.

“Well, of course they are! I know my flowers very well, dearest nerd.” Roman stuck out his tongue at Logan.

“Oh Roman, when will you learn not to lie around me? You stole Logan’s book about North American flowers a week ago.” Janus purred.

Roman let out an offended gasp.

“Betrayed! Betrayed by my beloved! How will I go on?” He collapsed into Patton’s lap, sending Patton into a fit of giggles.

“Roman, for the last time, you need only ask to borrow my books, it’s not like I’m going to say no.” Logan softly berated him.

“Mmm… no thanks. It’s much more fun to steal them while Jan distracts you.”

Janus levelled Roman with a betrayed look as Logan gently slapped him in the chest.

“Two can play at that game, Snakespeare.” Roman winked.

“You two will be the death of me.” Logan mumbled amusedly.

Virgil grinned, falling onto his back.

“Lo, did you look at the stars yet?”

Logan looked up, and it was if a switch had been flipped. His eyes lit up, and his mouth laid slightly agape as his eyes flitted from constellation to constellation.

Janus watched with adoration as Logan stared at the sky. He could see now why Roman was so excited about this. Patton sighed happily, playing with Roman’s hair.

“Hey, Lo, what planet is that?”

“Oh, that would be Mercury. It is lucky we were delayed by several hours due to Roman passing out on the couch at midnight, or else we may not have seen it.”

“Wow, Logan, shady much?”

“Of course not. Anyways,” As Logan began info-dumping about Mercury, Janus paid as much attention as his sleep-deprived brain would let him.

They asked Logan questions about constellations, and stars, and he rattled off the answers excitedly while gesturing with his hands. Eventually, they ended up in a cuddle pile, with Logan in the middle, being cuddled by Janus on one side and Roman on the other. Virgil reached over Roman and Logan to hold Janus’ hand, and Patton was cuddling him from behind. It was, basically, perfect.

Logan had started interrupting his own sentences with yawns, and his eyes started drooping.

“M’kay, I think it’s about time we turned in.” Patton mumbled, sitting up.

Virgil yawned.

“What gave that away, the sun?”

Janus frowned, and looked up and, oh. Yep. The sun was rising. He got up, stretching, then helped Logan up. Both Logan and Patton were practically walking in their sleep. The only one who seemed energetic was Roman, who sighed disappointedly.

“I suppose we should get going.” He said.

He snapped, and the blanket they had been laying on folded itself into a square. He picked it up, and carried it in his arm as he took Virgil’s hand and began leading them back through the forest. Logan hung off of Janus’ arm, and Patton walked beside Janus sleepily, holding his hand loosely.

When they arrived home, Janus was practically carrying Logan. Patton had sleepily kissed everyone goodnight, including Janus, which had thrown Roman for a loop, then drifted off to his room. Janus dropped Logan off at his room, confident that he could get himself to bed, and went back into the family room to sit with Roman and Virgil.

Roman sat on the smaller section of the couch, and Virgil sat in the corner, with his legs stretched out to rest on Roman’s lap. Roman glanced up, and patted the spot beside him. Janus sat down next to him and leaned against him.

“So… you kissed Patton before me? That’s illegal.” Roman grinned.

“Oh, shush.” Janus smirked, and gently tilted Roman’s head, pressing a kiss to his lips.

Roman held his face gently, like he was scared Janus might crack if he was too rough. They pulled back, and Roman rested his forehead against Janus’ and dissolved into a fit of giggles.

“Ew, get a room.” Virgil joked, poking Roman with his foot.

Roman just continued laughing. Janus tried to hold in his own laugh, but failed miserably.

“I have been desperately looking forward to this for literal months, oh my god, I’m so happy.” Roman grinned, and really, how was Janus expected to not kiss him again?

“I could get used to this.” Roman said breathlessly.

“Yeah?” Janus whispered.

“Definitely.”

Virgil snickered.

“Boo, get off the stage!”

Roman laughed, and launched himself at Virgil, covering his face in kisses.

“Stawwwppp, I’m tryna scroll through tumblr.”

Roman peppered more kisses on Virgil’s cheek.

“Nope. You are now forever trapped in Kisses Jail for your crimes.”

“What crimes?”

“Being a hypocrite.” Janus smirked.

“Wha- no, never have I ever gone all PDA-ish.” Virgil fought back a smile as he tried to push Roman off of him.

“Oh, please do pretend like you’ve never started making out with Patton in the kitchen, or Roman in the hallways, or Logan in the family room-“

“Okay, okay, I get it.” Virgil finally surrendered himself to Roman, who pressed a few victory kisses to Virgil’s face, then cuddled him.

Virgil gestured for Janus to sit with them, and Janus moved to rest his head on Virgil’s shoulder.

“So… I know we’ve never really had an actual real conversation about this, and we should probably talk about it with Lo and Pat too, but…” Roman paused, “I would really, really like to take you on a date. And later become your boyfriend, if you so wished.”

Janus stared at him for a probably worrying amount of time, but…

“Yes. Please. I’d- I would love that.” Janus stuttered out.

Roman reached across Virgil and took Janus’ hand, kissing it before adjusting his grip to hold in. Virgil leaned his cheek against Janus’ head, and smiled.

“And me. And almost definitely Patton and Logan. If you’ll have us.”

“Of course.” Janus grinned.

And if, in the morning, Patton found them cuddling on the couch and swooned, and if Janus spent the majority of his days cuddling his new boyfriends, and if they would sometimes use his need for heat to coerce him into affection, and if Janus occasionally spent the night sleeping in a cuddle pile on the couch, could you blame any of them?

After all, it is a well-known fact that Janus is cold-blooded.

———————————————————————————————————

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed! :)

Taglist:

@girl-with-many-fandoms ~ @arodynamic-enby ~ @imma-potatoo ~ @canvas-the-florist

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mother-snake · 4 years ago

Note

Thank you so much for the response to my ask! It was so so good!! 💕 I saw you posted wanting short, mostly Janus centric, ideas so maybe something nice and fluffy after I just asked to put him through angst? Maybe Thomas and the sides taking a chance to show Janus appreciation after his acceptance or something?

well short is out of the window with this one im afraid...(this one is defianately fluffier than the last by a long shot)

taggs: @idkanameatall @imma-potatoo warnings: angst words 3212

-a bold statment-

Janus had been having one of those days. He had turned off all the lights and built a small blanket fort filled with pillows and stuffed animals. Fairy lights lit up the small space and he had a book in hand.

He couldn’t focus on the book. he had been re- reading each page as he lost concentration once again. he felt frustrated, tired and just wanted whatever he was feeling to disappear.

He pulled the blanket that had been covering his lower half and moved it further up. snuggling close as possible as unwanted tears made of frustration began to prick his eyes.

He was barely cut out of his mind by a small soft knock at his door. “Janus?” Logan said, just able to be heard, “may I come in,” he asked.

He rubbed his eyes before letting the lock on the door click open. He heard the sound of the door open and close. “Janus may I turn the lights on,” Logan asked. “yes” the lights remained off.

He listened as Logan shuffled around the room and shift a little. The opening of the blanket fort was pulled back slightly, letting Janus catch a small glimpse of the logical sides face. “hello,” Logan said with a small smile. “hi,” Janus mumbled back.

The air was quiet but not tense. Logan let out a sigh before looking at the blanket fort. He was quite impressed by the way it had been built. “are you alright Janus?” he asked as he peaked a little further in. he didn’t respond, but Logan could tell the answer despite his ‘lack of emotions’ “would you like a hug?” he asked. Janus looked at him with nervousness. This didn’t feel like something Logan would do. this wasn’t something he was used to. But the offer was too enticing for him to deny. he gave a small nod to Logan and shuffled over for the logical side to make his way in.

Logan slipped in, and sat by Janus. The snake seemed to melt into the simple touch as Logan wrapped an arm around Janus. he looked over to Janus’s lap where a book sat forgotten. “a fine choice of book if I do say so myself,” Logan said. “thanks,” Janus muttered.

They sat in the quiet for a while. Janus had been trying to keep his emotions in line as the time continued. He burrowed his head into the crook of logans neck. he felt tired, but he didn’t want to sleep. His heart felt heavy. His mind had thankfully begun to slow down. his eyes began to droop as the warmth radiating from Logan. the logical side feeling like a hot water bottle or heater.

A small smile creeped Its way onto his face. Logan had stayed for who knows how long, maybe out of politeness or maybe it was kindness. Either way, it warmed his cold heart. Ever. So. Sightly. and he soon found himself falling fast asleep.

And deep down he hoped that it could last.

Logan glanced down as he felt his shoulder grow heavier. A smile appeared on his face as he looked down to see Janus fast asleep and looking calmer than he had ever seen the snake. he couldn’t find it in his heart to leave Janus. And he didn’t mind if he had to stay until he woke up. he would keep the fact that Janus’s scales had been slightly discoloured by a from of grey mixed with yellow to himself for now. --

Patton had been in the kitchen that faithful night. He had put on the kettle and sat down on a stool by the kitchen island. he hadn’t been able to sleep no matter how hard he had tried. He was beyond exhausted but no attempt had been successful.

There were soft, quiet footsteps coming from the hall. He turned to face the door and felt his eyes go wide as he saw Janus standing at the door shifting nervously. “am I not intruding?” he asked looking at Patton. “of course not kiddo,” he said patting a stool next to himself.

Janus shuffled in, not knowing what to say as he sat down as Patton stood up as the kettle stopped boiling. “would you like some tea?” he asked. “no thank you.”

“are you alright Janus? Would you like to talk about it?” Patton asked as he brought the two cups over. “I’m not fine, it wasn’t a nightmare,” he said before taking a sip of tea. “can I ask what it was about, it might help to tell someone.” “yes,” he said sternly.

Patton stayed quiet after that. he wouldn’t be getting through to Janus today. He tapped his fingers on the counter as he looked into his partially filled cup. the only sound that filled the space was a clinking of cups against the surface.

It was only when Patton looked up from his cup that he spotted it. Janus’s scales were slightly… discoloured. “Janus, do your scales normally turn blue?” he asked looking at them slightly closer. “no, they don’t always do that,” he responded with a small smile. “that’s amazing!” Patton said, stars appearing in his eyes. “you don’t think so?” Janus asked, reaching up his hand to touch his scales. “of course! Its amazing,” he said excitedly,” do you know why they do it?”

Janus’s scales had begun to change slightly a coral colour mixed in as his human side blushed. “it isn’t like a mood ring, it doesn’t help me express my emotions,” he said as he rubbed his neck.

Patton was in absolute awe. “I need to find some paper,” he said before bolting out of the room, causing Janus to let out a chuckle.

Yes, he maybe did let down his cover on his scales for Patton to see. But he knew that Patton would need cheering up.

As the minuets ticked by, Patton came back into the room with a tub of coloured pens and a sheet of paper. “I hope you don’t mind, but I want to make a chart for everyone. I feel we could use it in the future,” he said. “I suppose that will be doable,” Janus said, his nightmare forgotten about by him for now.

“hey Janus, can I let you in on a secret?” Patton whispered with a toothy grin. “very well,” “logans eyes do something similar, just look at the rim of his iris,” he hushed at Janus.

And that’s how they spent the next several hours. With Patton bouncing questions off Janus and creating a mood chart that he would then hang in the Livingroom by the date calendar. Janus wouldn’t say it. but it felt nice to be listened to. Even if it was just answering a few questions.

He hoped that this could last. --

He it wasn’t a good day from the get go. He had woken up late, got piled behind work and skipped both breakfast and lunch.

He was stressed and about ready to begin crying over the fact his pen had stopped working when he felt a presence in his room. he rubbed his eyes before he heard the person speak. “come on Jannie, you need a break,” Virgil?

He turned to face the anxious side. his eyeshadow wasn’t dark like it had been when he was in the deceitful side’s permease

“I'm not fine.” He said as he reached for another pen. “dam right you’re not fine, Janus. Your scales are going grey from stress. Please take a break,” Virgil said, “you haven’t eaten anything all day. Eat and then ill let you get back to whatever this… is?” he said looking down at the barely legible hand writing.

“no,” “great, come on. romans making dinner tonight,” he said as he pulled Janus up from his seat.

As soon as he left the smell of mac and cheese filled his nose, a small grumble came from his stomach. To his misfortune, Virgil had apparently heard. Virgil kept up with the pace and they were in the commons much sooner than Janus would have liked to be. “where aren’t the others?” he asked, noticing a very empty table. “ah, its just us three today. The others have gone to Remus’s imagination believe it or not,” “not including Patton?” he asked surprised.

“yeah, our dear father whisked away by my brother and the dear nerd,” roman said as he peaked his head from the kitchen door, “food’s ready,” he stated with a wink.

As they ate, roman and Virgil began to talk about the recent events that had occurred today. “what do you think of Mr. Flores Janus?” roman said looking over. “I'm afraid I don’t really have an opinion on the matter,” he said, taking another bite from his food. “oh come now, surely you must have,” roman said with a raised eyebrow.

Janus didn’t say anything for a brief moment before he was startled as the prince yelped in pain grabbing his knee. “you don’t have to answer Janus,” Virgil said, wary of the purple shifting scales. “well, I don’t thank you for the meal but I best finish up my work,” Janus said as he stood up. “try and get some sleep tonight, okay?” Virgil said before bringing Janus into a hug, surprising the deceitful side greatly.

As they pulled back, he Janus almost felt his heart lift as he saw the bright purple eyeshadow under the eyes of Virgil. God, how long had it been since they had done that. they must have been around seven the last time he witnessed that.

He had enjoyed the company and break, but he knew he needed to get back to work before Thomas suffered because of the pile up. but for now, he would just enjoy the fact his friend was becoming his old self once more.

He hoped that this could last. --

Two days later he had a heavy knocking at his door followed by a sort of exited screech.

He let the lock on his door go and Remus burst into the room with a wicked grin before faltering slightly. “what the fuck are you doing on the floor?” he asked. “definitely not wallowing in self-pity and doubt. You?” he said sarcastically.

Remus scowled as he looked at his friend on the floor. Looks like today was going to be one of those days. “okay dip shit. Grab as many blankets as you can carry,” Remus said as he plucked Janus up from the floor by the arms. “why?” Janus asked, concern plastered all over his face.

“were taking over the commons today, and they can’t fucking stop us!” he cackled as he grabbed an armful of blankets from the floor.

It took far longer than either would admit, but it did look impressive. Remus in the end had to summon more blankets for the inside, but that just meant Janus had more blankets for future times of need. So, he wasn’t exactly complaining.

They crept inside and Janus immediately flopped down onto a pile of soft and warm blankets. Remus sat by his side and ran a hand through his hair. “when was the last time you had one of these days?” Remus asked, “because I feel like it’s been fucking ages.” “beginning of the week n yesterday,” he mumbled into the pile of blankets. “and you didn’t say anything?” Remus said almost annoyed, “you realise the others and me would be more than happy to led you all their limbs right?” he said as he ruffled Janus’s fluffed up hair. “I don’t know,” he said exasperated, “I just totally want to put all my issues on all of theirs, cause that’s so fair.”

Remus stared at him with a scowl for a couple seconds before a lightbulb lit up in his head. Oh boy, Janus was going to kill him for this.

“give me a couple minuets will you dear snakey?” said side watched as Remus left their blanket fort. A small pool of worry began to build up in his chest. had he offended Remus?

He wasn’t expecting for the sides to trickle in one at a time however. first was roman who quickly placed himself next to Janus, then Virgil who threw a blanket over Janus. The familiar scent of coffee and lavender seemed to somehow put his mind slightly at ease. then came Logan with a book in hand. he sat down a bit away, but he knew that the other was concerned. The blue rimmed brown eyes showing that he was himself in slight distress.

Then came Patton and Remus. Patton was holding a tray of cookies and a couple cups, whereas Remus came in with what he assumed to be a pot of tea.

Remus placed himself on the opposite side of Janus as the side sat up slightly before leaning over and whispering to the snake. “told you they cared,” he said with a victorious smirk.

For the first time in for a long time he felt himself just relax as he felt a hand run through his hair. The warmth and love that surrounded him seemed so real.

He hoped that this would last. --

It had been a week later. The other sides popping their heads in when he was beginning to overwork himself so they could get him to take a break. Patton had found himself occasionally staying up with Janus when neither could sleep and sharing secrets about the other sides. They shared stories from after the mind palace split into the two segments. Giving stories that would have seemed impossible to anyone else.

Logan would often join Janus reading in the Livingroom early in the morning when no one else was awake.

Roman and Remus had begun to take him out into the imagination so he could get some natural heat from the sun. he had found himself happier on those days.

Virgil would often wrap him in a blanket when his scales would begin to show that he was slipping slightly.

But despite all they did for him. He still didn’t know why he felt so… alone? Was that the right word? there was normally an empty feeling in his chest, sometimes when he got too overwhelmed and cried it would appear. He would lose his ability to feel. And he didn’t like it. not one bit.

Maybe he shouldn’t have been so surprised when he was summoned. But being lost in a pile of work and in his pyjamas was the last way he had ever wanted to see Thomas. Yet caught up in work, he didn’t even realise he had been summoned.

“Janus, are you okay?” Thomas asked looking down at his side. “hu?” he looked up and around the room. it was just him, Thomas and…Nico. Oh.

“well… this was certainly unexpected,” Janus said,” don’t worry Thomas, just got caught up in my work. nothing else,” he said before snapping his fingers. his papers went back to his room and his normal attire replaced the black and yellow snake themed pyjamas he had been previously wearing.

“so, you are Thomas’s deceit?” “indeed, it’s a pleasure to meet you in person Nico,” he said with a smile.

“wait- Janus… since when did your scales change colour?” Thomas asked as he looked at them with almost the same curiosity Patton had. “ah, yes. I forgot you didn’t know about that,” he said, wincing at the fact he had actually forgotten himself.

Nico stared at the two’s small interaction. “so, do you know why they change colour?” he asked. “imagine a mood ring,” Janus said with a fake smirk, he was ready to bolt at a second’s notice.

Apparently, the fact that he said that had caused Nico to give him a small smile, “not enjoying this?” “I don’t tend to like confrontation unannounced. I preferred to be warned about these things so I'm prepared,” he muttered, giving a small glare at Thomas.

Nico let out a chuckle, “ill remind him next time if this happens again,” he said with a wide smile.

Janus gave a small nod before beginning to sink down. “wait, before you go,” Thomas said, “I haven’t seen you in a while. I hope you’re okay Janus,”

Janus was taken back by what he had said but he knew his answer, “some days are always harder than others, but I think I'm going to be fine Thomas, goodbye,” he said as he sunk down.

“you think he’ll be alright?” Nico asked. “eh, knowing the others, they’ll make sure of it,” he chuckled lightly.

Janus rose back up to his room, but he didn’t go straight back to work. Nope. He gathered a couple blankets and made his way to the commons where he made a small cocoon for himself and decided it was time for a nap. it was always warmer out here than in his room.

A warm feeling spread in his chest. covering him completely in a feeling he hadn’t felt in such a long time. hope.

Hope that the future would be okay. That for now everything was okay and he didn’t need to worry so much about Thomas.

He hoped that it would last. --

-two weeks ago-

Every side (other than Janus) and Thomas Were gathered in the real living room for a small meeting. the topic, of course being about the one person who wasn’t there.

“so, I take it we called this meeting for the same reasons? Right?” Patton said, pulling at the sleeves of his cardigan that was wrapped around his shoulders. “I believe so,” Logan said.

“do you two know much about why Janus maybe trying to push us away?” Thomas asked looking over to Virgil and Remus. “its… been like this since we were children. After the mindspace split he sort of just… Closed down. It was around that time he began to lie,” Virgil said meekly.

“the fucker would hide away most the time, but still kept an eye on the louder dark sides. Like a parental figure, but more babysitter than anything else,” Remus said boring his eyes into Thomas’s head.

“so, he’s been like this… for years?” roman Virgil nodded and pulled his legs up onto the sofa, “I don’t think he is aware that he’s no longer there. That he’s safe with us,” he said looking at Remus.

“what do you mean?” Patton asked nervously. “some of the others were known to get. Violent over nothing… he tried his best to keep us away from them,” he said reluctantly, “I just think over the first couple months, he took what they said to heart.”

Everyone remained quiet. Trying to process what was told. every part of their minds seemed to link as one as a single thought coursed into their minds. “well then, looks like we’ve got a lot of work to do. but for now, let’s make sure Janus knows he is welcomed then? Shall we?” roman said as he stood up from his place on the floor.

They looked at one another and nodded. they would make sure Janus knew they’d always be there for him. That would never change.

#sander sides #janus sanders #ts spoilers #nico flores #Virgil sanders #Roman sanders #remus sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #angst #fluff #a request has been written!

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shuttymcshutfuck · 4 years ago

Text

Static

Fictober day 18: “I can’t do this anymore”

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Rating: General

Type: Angst (Logan-centric)

Word count: 509

Relationships: N/A

Characters: Logan Sanders, Roman Sanders, Patton Sanders, Character!Thomas, Virgil Sanders

TW: ducking out, crying, could possibly be seen as unsympathetic!sides (apart from Logan) but it wasn’t written like that

Ao3 Link / Fictober Masterpost

Logan tried to be cold. He knew that emotions were illogical and so he was cold. But there was a fire burning inside of him and he could feel himself slowly thawing.

or Logan feels things after constantly being ignored.

Logan tried to be cold. He knew that emotions were illogical and so he was cold. But there was a fire burning inside of him and he could feel himself slowly thawing. This wasn’t good, if he thawed completely then he knew his emotions would get the better of him. Even knowing this he couldn’t stop it and he felt like a ticking time bomb. Just waiting to go off. Waiting for one more spark to hit the flames and that would be it. Unfortunately for him, everyone else seemed to love lighting fuses.

“I don’t see why we can’t talk this out formally. I’ve told you all that-” They were filming a new video and as much as Logan tried to help in his own way they just weren’t letting him.

“We know specs, but spouting facts at us again isn’t going to help.” Roman was being defensive as usual and after what happened with the wedding Logan isn’t surprised. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt all the same.

“I was just meaning that if-” Another spark, Logan could feel it inside of him. He was getting closer and closer, the burning inside of him growing.

“Logan, please. Just let us work through the emotions of it first, okay?” Patton was trying to help but he was just as guilty of trying to shut him up. They all were. Patton was the one who skipped him. Silenced once again, he thought to himself.

“But-” Another spark, he could feel his eyes start to sting and his heart beat faster. Whether it was rage or some other once forbidden feeling, Logan didn’t know.

“Logan, buddy-” Thomas, always the peacemaker. All Logan wanted to do was help him. Why could none of them see that.

“I can’t do this anymore.” And the flames poured out.

“What?” Virgil, always the one to pick up on the small things better than the others. Only when he’s not clouded by his own anxiety that is. Logan felt the tears start to fall and even though he knew it was illogical, that nothing had happened and there was no reason he should have to deal with these emotions, he let them. And he let himself burn.

“I can’t do this anymore! If you believe so firmly that you don’t need me then let’s just see if you’re right!” And then Logan sunk out, and he kept going and going until all he felt was static. He didn’t think he would be able to duck out since he was such a core part of Thomas but he was clearly wrong. It didn’t feel like he thought it would. He was expecting nothingness, just a void but it hurt and the more he thought about the hurting the more he could feel it. It’s like he could feel the static fill his body, smothering every inch of him until it reached his brain. That’s when it went black. He knew he was still ducked out but he couldn’t feel the static anymore, he couldn’t feel anything.

#Fictober20 #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #logan sanders #logan sanders angst #logan sanders centric #roman sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #character!thomas

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ssidesblog · 4 years ago

Text

make sure to kiss your knuckles before you punch me in the face

remus and virgil centric (don’t tag as romantic dukexiety), 2,398 wc, ao3

remus and virgil became friends in an odd sort of way, but remus wouldn’t change it for the world

It was a cold, Friday morning and Remus had come to school in a sour mood. He hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep, he forgot to do his English homework, and Roman had been irritatingly peppy that morning.

“Are you doing well, Remus?” Logan asked when the twins approached him and Patton.

“Doin’ fine and fucking dandy, four eyes.” Remus responded, heavily sitting down at the cafeteria table.

“He’s just pissed because I woke him up early.” Roman said, grabbing one of the marshmallows from Patton’s container of Lucky Charms. Remus rolled his eyes and put his head down on the table. His head was already beginning to hurt, it was too loud in the cafeteria, and him and Roman may have been getting along more recently but his voice sounded like nails on a chalkboard at that moment. He stood up, grabbed his backpack, and walked out of the cafeteria.

He sulked around the school, waiting for the morning bell to ring. He hated being at school more than five minutes before first period started. He didn’t understand the appeal, but Roman had insisted they start getting to school earlier. To be fair, they had started getting to school late and Roman hated getting in trouble. But Remus didn’t care. He couldn’t wait until he could drive, then he wouldn’t have to follow Roman’s stupid schedule. He gripped the straps of his bag a little harder than necessary. He was starting to get angry, most would say unreasonably so. But to Remus, he thought he had every right to be angry. Stupid Roman, who wanted to be a good kid, be the good twin. Remus couldn’t help but still hold some kind of resentment for Roman. He was always the favorite, the role model for Remus to look up to as if he wasn’t the twin who was born first. Picani had been working with them and fixing their relationship and it was better now but he still had his days. And that day just so happened to be one of them. Remus, focused more on not punching a wall, wasn’t paying attention to where he was going and bumped into someone. Hard.

He looked down at the kid who half laid down, half sat up on the ground. Remus felt some of the tension go away when he recognized who it was.

“Watch where you’re going.” Virgil said and glared up at him. Virgil was Remus’s favorite person to mess with. They weren’t friends, not even really acquaintances, some would argue that Remus was bullying Virgil but Remus didn’t see it that way. It was just a good way to pass the time and Virgil had his own retorts so it wasn’t as if the insulting was one sided.

“If it isn’t my favorite emo.” Remus gave him a grin. Virgil rolled his eyes.

“If it isn’t my least favorite wannabe punk.” Virgil got up off the ground and dusted himself off, “Now please never interact with me again.” Virgil started to walk away and Remus joined him at his side.

“Now that would be no fun.”

“Remus, seriously, I don’t want to deal with your shit today.” Virgil’s voice was lower than usual. If Remus had been paying more attention, he would have heard the tremor of anger in his voice. But he wasn’t paying attention, and he never did know when to stop.

“Well life’s a bitch and you don’t always get what you want.” Virgil stopped. Remus turned around and raised an eyebrow. He opened his mouth to say something else, but never quite got the chance before a fist collided with his nose.

Now, Remus always knew he would get in a fight in high school. It was on the top of his list of ‘stupid teenage shit to do before i graduate’. Roman and Patton had tried to dissuade him from doing it, listing the million and one reasons why it was a bad idea but with each reason Remus just wanted to do it more. And maybe he just thought he’d look cool. Maybe he just wanted to seem tough. Maybe he was a little too much like his dad. Or maybe, there was no reason and he just wanted something to remember his time in high school. It didn’t matter to him, he just knew that he was going to get into a fight at some point in his high school career. But he always thought he would have been the one to start the fight. Never did he expect the anxious, emo kid who was a solid 5 inches shorter than him to start it, but there he was.

Remus wiped the blood away from his nose and looked at Virgil. The kid looked mortified but honestly, Remus didn’t care. He reeled back and punched him in his face. He stumbled back and held a hand to his left eye. He looked up at Remus and the look of horror had been replaced with anger and deadly determination. He lunged at Remus and before he could move he tackled him to the ground. Remus was lying on his stomach and Virgil was sat on top of him. He grabbed a fistful of Remus’s hair and pulled his head up. Remus opened his mouth to say some smart remark about him being kinky but before he could Virgil pushed his head down and his face collided with the concrete. One of his teeth hurt like a bitch and he could see a piece of it lying on the ground. Remus flipped around so he was lying on his back. Virgil was still on top of him and he had the decency to look guilty once he caught a glimpse of Remus’s face. Despite the dull beating pain in his head, Remus pulled Virgil’s head down at the same time he moved his upper body up, causing their head to ram into each other. Virgil swore and stumbled off of him. He straightened himself up and Remus quickly sprung up; he tripped a little but gained his balance. They both made a move towards each other but arms wrapped around Remus’s middle and stopped him which paused Virgil’s movements. He looked behind him and saw Logan holding him, a look of anger and some other emotion Remus couldn’t make out on his face. That’s when Remus noticed the crowd of people that had surrounded them. He found Roman and Patton standing close. Patton’s face looked pained, scared, a little angry, but mostly worried. And Roman’s face held clear anger but worry shrouded his vision along with what Remus could only describe as utter disappointment. His chest heaved and he looked at Virgil. A security guard had joined them, holding Virgil by the arm.

“Alright, everybody, get to class!” The security guard yelled to the crowd and walked over to Remus, grabbing him by his arm. Instinctively he flinched and attempted to get his arm away, which only made her grab harder to his arm. She pulled the two of them to the nurse’s office and sat them down on the long cot.

“After y’all are done getting cleaned up I’m taking y’all to the principal.” She said before leaving the room. The nurse started with Remus, who was the more beat up of the two. He had a massive headache and he was bleeding a lot. There was a cut on his forehead, which must have been from when his face had been pushed to the ground. And his nose hurt like a bitch.

“Does this hurt?” The nurse asked as she turned his nose. Remus sucked a breath through his teeth.

“Fuck, yeah.” Remus said.

“Please watch your language.” The nurse chastised him and handed him an ice pack.

“Hold this to your nose and tilt your head up.” She instructed. He complied and made a face when the ice touched his nose. There’s no way the emo broke his fucking nose. He looked over at said emo, who looked extremely tiny. The guilt could practically be seen radiating off of him. His left cheek swelled just underneath his eye, and there was a bruise forming on his forehead. Remus didn’t even need a mirror to know he looked a million times worse. He ran his tongue across his teeth; the tooth next to his right front tooth was chipped. Remus chuckled a little. The nurse came back into the room with two bottles of blue Gatorade and a pack of saltine crackers. She split the pack and put them on two paper plates and handed one set to Remus and the other to Virgil. She also handed Virgil his own ice pack for his cheek. She walked back over to Remus and crouched down.

“Now this is going to hurt, ok?” She said and took the ice pack of his nose.

“My whole face kinda hurts, I think I’ll be fine.” Remus said with a grin. The nurse bit the inside of her cheek and lifted her hands to his nose. She counted down from three and cracked the cartilage back in place.

“Fucking hell!” Remus shouted as a jolt of pain shot up his head. The nurse didn’t comment on his language this time, which Remus was thankful for. She handed him the ice pack and he put it on his nose. It still hurt but it felt better.

“Did he break my nose?” Remus asked. The nurse shook her head.

“It was a minor fracture from what I could tell. If the swelling hasn’t gone down in a couple days I advise you see a doctor, it may be broken then.” She went over to a cabinet and brought out gauze and some tape. He removed the ice pack so she could tape the gauze to his nose.

“This should stop the bleeding and hold everything in place.” She mumbled as explanation. He nodded and put the ice pack back once she was done. She picked up her walkie talkie and informed the security guard she was done. Not even a minute later she came in through the doors.

“Alright, get up I shouldn’t have to drag you two this time around.” She ordered. The two boys stood up and followed her through the hallways until she stopped at the disciplinary office.

“The principal is already in there waiting for y’all.” She said before opening the door for them. They walked in and sure as shit there stood the principal, Mr. Young. He stood against a desk and two seats were sat in front of him. They each took a seat. Remus slouched down, one leg swung over an armrest. Virgil sat with his knees pulled to his chest, making himself as small as possible, which wasn’t hard for him. Mr. Young gave them each a look but decided not to comment.

“Now I assume you both know why you’re here today.” Remus had to bite his tongue to stop himself from replying ‘no shit sherlock’.

“You both will receive a day of in school suspension and two Saturday detentions.” He informed them, grabbing papers from his desk, “Along with a mark on each of your permanent records.”

“Sir, with all due respect,” Virgil’s voice shook when he spoke, “I don’t think Remus should be punished the same as me. I was the one who started it.” Remus looked over at him, a look of disbelief on his face. Mr. Young shared a similar look on his face.

“Mr. Ackerman, that’s a very kind thing for you to say,” He said, “However, Mr. Reyes fought back. It’s mandatory he receive the same punishment.” Virgil shrank further in on himself and Remus pitied him a little. He never did like speaking up.

“In all fairness, you told me to stop bothering you and I didn’t. Kind deserved it.” Remus said. Virgil looked over to him and raised his eyebrow. Remus sent him a wink in return.

“I’ll tell you what,” Mr. Young spoke, getting their attention, “You both have clean records, a few demerits on Mr. Reyes’s end but tardiness is not nearly as drastic as a fight. I’ll keep this off your permanent records, but if either of you get into a fight again, I won’t be as forgiving.” Remus and Virgil shared looks of confusion (and relief) and looked back at Mr. Young.

“Thank you, sir.” They said at the same time.

“Just don’t do something like this again,” He walked over to the door and opened it, “We’ve already informed both of your parents and they should be here soon. I’ll see you two tomorrow for detention.” The two boys followed him out the door and sat in the front office.

“Uh, thank you for saying what you did.” Virgil said. Remus grinned.

“Anything for my favorite emo.” Remus said with a wink. Virgil rolled his eyes. “Thank you for trying to lessen my punishment.”

“Yeah, well it was the least I could do for like, almost breaking your nose.”

“And chipping my tooth.” Remus added, brandishing his tooth. Virgil leaned in with a grimace and took a good look.

“Fuck dude, I’m sorry.” He apologized and his voice was laced with guilt.

“It’s fine, I think it’s kinda badass. Now I’ll have something to remind me of my first fight.” Remus shrugged away his apology, adding,”I’m surprised you had that in you. I can’t believe I let a twink beat me up.” Virgil choked on air.

“I am not a twink.” He said incredulously.

“Sounds like something a twink would say.” Remus laughed when Virgil flipped him off. The doors to the office opened and he watched his mom come in.

“Oh shit, here comes the real punishment.” Remus murmured before standing up, “See you tomorrow, Tickle me Emo.” Remus said and stood up.

“See you tomorrow, Toothless.” Virgil said with a two finger salute. Remus barked out a laugh and walked over to his mom.

He was in for a lot of lecturing, from his mom, Patton, Roman, and Logan but Remus didn’t mind. Not one bit, because through this he started what seemed like a very unexpected friendship and earned a chipped tooth as remembrance. When Remus got home, the first thing he did was cross ‘get in a fight’ off his stupid list. Yeah, Remus didn’t mind one bit.

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bonesthebeloved · 5 years ago

Text

When showers no longer help

(This one is a little gift for @lance-alt because they liked the idea and because they had a rough one with all the drama today. Hope you enjoy bud. Take care!)

SUMMARY: Remus and Patton are in a relationship. Not a happy one but that’s okay. Those only exist in fairytales right? (Remus centric)

WORD COUNT: 1300

TRIGGER/SQUICK WARNING: Unsympathetic Patton, Mental abuse, unhappy relationship, mention of crying, mention of food, very brief blood/ could be seen as self-harm mention, arguing, yelling (In caps)

Patton doesn't mean to. He really doesn't.

"Hey, sugar daddy. How'd you sleep?"

"What did I tell you about using crude nicknames Re?" Patton said, carefully moving out of the hold Remus had on his waist and walking towards the kitchen to make himself breakfast.

Remus let out a whine. Though stopped himself quickly when Patton glanced over his shoulder. Irritation clear on his face.

He didn't mean to yell when Remus accidentally dropped a glass. The shards cutting into his foot and ankle hurt less than Patton's harsh words.

And his boyfriend was right. He shouldn't have been so clumsy. Shouldn't have let the glass slip from his fingers. Shouldn't have shouldn't have shouldn't have.

Remus didn't sleep that night. Quietly looking at Patton's sleeping face and wondering why he was being so forgiving to him.

The images of what Patton could do to him swarmed his head like a swarm of wasps. The intrusive thoughts that came through unfiltered and seemingly without taking a break making him curl in on himself. Yeah, Patton was too good for him.

He didn't mean to make Remus feel worse than the dirt under his shoe when Remus had come to him to apologise.

He'd baked a cake. Making sure to use one of Logan's recipes as to not accidentally put something in that would displease Patton. He'd made extra sure that his hands were clean. Putting on a simple t-shirt instead of his usual outfit so no loose strings or beats could fall in. Making sure that the cake was baby blue with little hearts instead of the usual brown or green he'd go for.

Patton had looked at it in distaste. As if Remus had presented him a dead rat. "I'm not eating this. You probably put rat poison in there or something. Throw it away."

He'd watched the cake fall into the trashcan. Seeing the top break, the cream filling spilling out onto the leftover taco’s that they’d had yesterday.

Patton had only scoffed and brushed the hand that hovered towards him, seeking comfort, away.

He didn’t mean to make him feel bad for simply existing and fulfilling his duties as a side.

Didn’t mean to make him feel so bad that he had started hanging around Deceit again when Patton wasn’t looking.

The fatherly trait had told him to not have contact with his best friend anymore. Telling him that lying was wrong and that Deceit would be a bad influence. That he should let him go if he wanted to have any chance of being good.

Remus, lovesick as he’d been and wanting to please Patton as much as possible in the hopes of not losing his lifeboat in the middle of the storm, had told Deceit the news and tried not to cry too hard when Dee only nodded. Giving him a tight hug and whispering ‘be careful Re,’ into his ear before letting go.

He tried not to cry too loudly that night as to not disrupt Patton’s slumber. Trying very hard to not think about how Deceit had been shaking when he’d hugged him.

How he’d seen tears running down his face when he’d pulled away.

And Remus tried to be better. Tried to suppress the constant flow of thoughts because they were wrong.

Tried to not say them out loud even if it caused him to shake and break down in the shower in the evening. Whispering all of the bunched up ideas under the sound of the water while he tried to convince himself that they were bad. Not good. Evil. Badbadbadbadbadbadbad.

Deceit had come to him after he’d seen Remus scratching at his arm so harshly that it had drawn blood. Had bandaged him up without a word and was already on his way towards the door, probably on his way to make Remus leave, when the creative trait felt himself crack just a little.

“I miss you, Dee.”

The words seeped through the cracks and now Remus went to Deceit every time the world got too much. Every time his brain was too full and he needed out. outoutoutout.

And every time he went back to his room and Patton was there he knew that the other knew. And the disapproving stare undid all of the relaxing and unwinding he’d just done and they were back where he’d started.

But he loved him. And love was just like this. And all the fairytales that Roman read were unbelievable. Because while he could summon dragons and save princes and turn frogs into people, love like that didn’t exist. Happy love where everyone is smiling and the morning kisses aren’t reluctant and he’d be able to bake something and his partner would be happy didn’t exist.

It couldn’t. Otherwise, their relationship was bad. And it couldn’t be bad because Patton couldn’t be bad. And Remus might be bad and evil and wrong and all things horrible but Patton wasn’t bad so neither was their relationship.

When Logan asked him if everything was still alright between him and Patton he hadn’t answered.

And when Virgil accused him of being toxic and obviously being mentally abusive towards Patton because the fatherly trait never smiled at him he hadn’t answered.

And when Deceit asked him why he let this all happen he hadn’t answered.

And when he sat together with Roman in the prince’s room and slowly went down a list of characteristics for a toxic relationship he hadn’t said anything. He’d simply cried into his brother’s shoulder when they had gotten to the bottom to the list. Having ticked every box.

And he simply let Roman hug him close as the prince told him that fairytale relationships weren’t the part that made them fairytales. Ignoring the glow around them and ignoring how they morphed into one lone man. Arms wrapped around himself as he sobbed.

And he simply let Deceit comfort him when the snake walked into the room and saw Romulus on the bed. Eyes red and puffy and snot running down his face and into his moustache. Deceit rubbed his back and cooed meaningless words until they’d calm down and the man turned into two again. One worried out of his mind, the other broken. So very broken. Because Patton couldn’t be wrong but he was and he was wrong and bad and evil and and and-

“Patton I’m sorry but I’m breaking up with you.”

“What?”

“I said I’m breaking up with y-”

“Why? I treated you so well. I tried to improve you, Remus. To make you better! I did everything for you and now you’re going to leave me? After all I did?”

“This relationship just isn’t healthy for m-” “YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOOD FOR YOU. I DO! I’M MORALITY!”

“I know,” Remus said quietly. Though the fire he felt within, the knowledge that he was so close to being better, so close to not crying in the shower every night, kept him going forward.

“It’s just not working out. It’s not your fault Patton I just don’t feel the same anymore.”

That was a lie. He loved the other. He really did. But Roman had told him how relationships should be. And Patton had ticked every item on the list for toxic relationships. And Deceit had helped him calm down enough to get the whole story. And he hadn’t broken down in the shower that night. And he was strong.

“You’ll never be good without my help.”

“Then I guess I won’t be.” Remus turned around. Walking towards the door. Towards where Deceit and Roman were waiting on the other side. Towards recovery.

“I just wanted to fix you.”

“Goodbye Patton.”

He opened the door. Walking through it and leaving Patton in his own room.

Both Deceit and Roman hugged him when he walked out. And Remus found that, while his love for his family was very different from the burning passion he felt for Patton, he’d much rather have this than late night showers.

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princeanxious · 5 years ago

Text

A Serpent’s Tongue-(symp)Deceit Centric fic

Warnings: (sympathetic) Deceit, unsympathetic/abusive Wrath(oc?), brief hints at gorish imagery(at the beginning, skippable), short term loss of an important body part, angst, abiguos/unresolved ending, food mentions. (Let me know if i need to tag anything else!!)

Ships: mostly platonic DLAMPR but there are hints of romantic Roceit as well

Word count: 3.8k words

Authours note: this was inspired by a joke pic i saw and idk whether to be sorry that i wrote this or not so uh. Yep. Have some angst.

Wrath and Deceit can never really get along. Wrath is more interested in keeping Thomas’s friends safe, and Deceit just wants Thomas to take care of himself once in a while. Little to the other sides know, Wrath has a horrific way of dealing with Deceit when he’s sick and tired of hearing him speak.

[[MORE]]

It would not have been the first time Wrath had lost his temper, far from it, in fact. It was commonplace, really. Though, he rarely got physical in his anger, he simply broke stuff in the dark palace that, when his fit was over, he’d mend back together.

However, it was also not the first time that Deceit and Wrath had gotten into an argument, a loud one at that. Both light and dark sides alike knew when such an argument was alight, due to the sheer volume of Wrath’s tone. They rarely saw eye to eye, due to their friction of views between Thomas taking primary care of himself(Deceit) and taking primary care of his friends(Wrath).

And again, it was not the first time that Wrath had ended such an intense argument by silencing Deceit the only way he knew would last.

“You can’t poison Thomas’s thoughts if you can’t talk without your serpent’s tongue, you Liar.” Wrath would growl, summoning scissors and stalking towards the cornered deceitful side. Threats and begs and struggle would fall on deaf ears until they stopped altogether. With a flick of Wrath’s hand, any mess from his deed as well as the room that had been thrashed with mess all tidied up without a trace of damage as he left. The only lingering remnants of damage lay in Deceit’s dulling eyes, blinking away tears as his face retained it’s upset scowl.

This was, however, the first time Wrath had decided to enact this awful treatment since the light sides had begun to accept Deceit, or, better known now as Dorian. With his room moved right next to Virgil’s and across from Remus’s at the very back of the hall, it was inevitable that this treatment would bare a heavily negative outcome now that he could not interact with the others accordingly and unsuspiciously.

None of them knew of what Wrath’s punishment was, or that Wrath could even stoop so low to do such a thing, not even Remus or Virgil had a clue. It had been going on for so long now though that Dorian knew just how to deal with it.

Except, now, sitting in his room for two weeks without leaving was not a viable option anymore. The others were bound to get suspicious, and he would definitely be needed for his little white lies. Even as he sunk down into his room before he could be seen, and hid under his heated covers for even just a few hours of solitude, he knew it was going to be a rough two weeks of hiding it from them.

——

“Dori!!”

Dorian’s eyes blinked open blearily, and he peaked out from under the covers just in time for Remus to open his door and excitedly shuffle in before closing the door. His excited face faltered for a moment at seeing his best friend tucked up tightly underneath his heating blankets mid-day, but fondness overswept his concern immediately at how cute and ruffled Dori’s hair was.

He didn’t question how Dorian only answered his questions and random outbursts with hums and snorts, with not a word to be heard. Dorian had periods of time where he got like this often back before their acceptance, it didn’t surprise him that they still sometimes occurred now. Especially after Dorian and Wrath had one of their arguments. Dori was often in such a sour mood for weeks!

After a while, Remus had saw fit to leave Dori be, the first few days after these arguments seemed to be the worst for his scaled friend, and he ought to let the others know to leave him be. He knew that this would be a relief for Dorian, but in his jumbled head he just couldn’t quite remember why.

It took three days for the next side to bother him, though it was welcomed at least slightly when he glanced up and was met with the blue-eyed serious side. They’d become fast friends in the past few months, truly. They’d often talk philosophy and history and space together, and stay up till 3 am with Virgil discussing conspiracy theories and watching documentaries as a group. It was still a friendship that was new and fresh, but there was a silent understanding between them that solidified that friendship just a tad bit quicker.

“Good afternoon, Dorian. I hope you are doing.. well..?” Logan tapered off, finally looking up from his book to be met with a casually dressed, if still a good bit ruffled and unkempt Dorian. He was still sitting on his bed, though he’d never admit he hadn’t really moved much in the past few days, and was scratching at his scales irritatedly.

“I had assumed three days was a more than sufficient period to leave you to ‘cool off’ after Remus came to inform us of your bad mood, but it would appear that that had been a very temporary solution to a much bigger problem.” Dorian gave a sheepish shrug, before coming to itch at the scales on his neck. The book vanished as Logan’s attention fully focused on Dorian’s unkempt state, a very rare sight on such a composed side. He came to sit at the foot of Dorian’s bed with tacit permission, eyes wandering over the self-preservative side until they landed on the others face which wore an uncomfortable expression in reaction to being analyzed.

“I apologize. How are you.. uh.. feeling.. at the moment, Dorian?” The logical side adjusted his tie, looking rather worried for his obviously stressed friend. He frowned when all he received was another shrug.

“Look. I.. I know that arguing with Wrath is truly exhausting, and being around him can negatively affect all parties, but you can’t just stop taking care of yourself after every argument. No matter what he says about you or any of us, it isn’t okay to let it take over you. I know I can’t possibly know what he said to you, or ever says to you, but I won’t stand to let it hurt you.” Dorian chuffed bitterly at those last words. ‘A little too late, Berry.’ He thought.

Logan only seemed to frown more, eyes searching Dorian’s for some answer, anything that would help him understand where this conversation needed to go. Dorian’s dull eyes met Logan’s strong searching gaze with a look of appreciation. A silent thank you amongst the fray. He closed his eyes and sighed, holding his bare hand out in a silent gesture. When Logan’s hand rested in his own, he pulled it to his chest in a pseudo hug, then pulled it back to link their pointer fingers. This was one of their silent gestures, one that said ‘Not now, but soon,’ when either one of them was feeling overwhelmed or unheard. It was a gesture to let the other know that they would be stopping by later to talk when it was just them to hear their conversation. Except right now, they were alone, which only seemed to puzzle Logan. But still, he understood the meaning calm and clear. ‘I will tell you, but not now.’

With a nod, both of them fell into a small but comfortable silence, enjoying the small grounding contact of their linked fingers. After a while though, Logan spoke up.

“I will say this though, with the utmost kindness I can.. You should take a shower and change into fresh clothing. It will do you some good, both for your mood and for your scales. I also suggest, once you've finished with that task, if it is not too much, to come downstairs and eat something. Think of it as a.. comfort meal, as it were. I could even ask Patton or Roman to make that soup you like so much.”

Dorian chuckled at his friends worrying, leaning against the other’s shoulder with a nod. Warm food sounded nice, he hadn’t really eaten anything since the night of the incident, and though the sides didn’t need to eat, it still was a pleasure they could enjoy. It would certainly comfort Dorian, though he’d have to evade eating solid food items around the others, as eating those both were weird to eat and looked just as weird to watch him eat while he was missing his tongue.

Soon after showering, he dressed in something more casual yet still color fitting due to lack of care at keeping up his dark image at the current moment. He came downstairs wearing an oversized black and yellow sweater that Remus had gifted him and comfortable black skinny jeans, with dark socks and a neutral expression to match.

Thankfully the only side downstairs at the moment was Logan who seemed to be trying to pick out a puzzle from their gaming shelf. He turned for a brief moment to greet the deceitful side, beckoning the other over to help him with his decision.

“Patton will be down in a moment, he and Virgil were discussing something when I made the soup request. Remus and Roman are in the imagination sparring, so for now I thought it’d be nice to simply relax and put together a puzzle while we wait.” Dorian nodded in agreement, and helped Logan pick out one of the few puzzles they hadn’t yet done, knowing that Logan would likely be a bit more focused on the puzzle than on the fact that Dorian still had yet to utter any sarcastic or backwards responses to anything he’d say. Still, the puzzle was a nice distraction, especially once they’d turned on a documentary in the background to combat the silence.

He hardly noticed the time passing until he zoned back in to an almost half-finished puzzle and the kitchen light flicking on. Patton sent out a cheery greeting to the two focused sides in the living room and then set to work on making his famous ‘feel better’ soup. It didn’t take long before Virgil came down as well, spending a couple minutes chatting with Patton about some topic or another before migrating into the livingroom and flopping onto the floor in between Logan and Dorian.

Headphones on and music already seeping out of the device, Virgil barely acknowledged the fact that he was now laying on D’s legs in an uncomfortable position, though he did spare a glance up at the deceitful side to make sure he had permission. With Dorian’s nod, Virgil stuck his tongue out at the other playfully and received a scrunched nose and an affectionate eyeroll in return. Virge then sat himself up and leaned against the other, one arm wrapping around the others middle to tap three times on Dorian’s leg. ‘Are you okay?’ Is what it meant.

Dorian hesitated before tapping twice on Virgil’s arm, ‘sort of’ it said, ‘not really’ is what it implied. Virgil frowned before situating himself behind the other to wrap both arms around him, laying his head on the others shoulder to watch the documentary like they used to do when they were younger. It pulled at his heart a bit, knowing that things had been tense between the two since their rift happened, though recently they’d both been trying to mend the scar in their friendship. Shame that he couldn’t playfully bicker with the other due to his predicament.

Instead he chose to settle against the taller side’s chest and relax in the other’s protective embrace, temporarily forgetting about doing the puzzle with Logan as Virgil began purring. It was a quiet, comforting rumble that had Dorian zoning out rather quickly.

He was only roused from his stupor when a warm thermos was gently placed into his hands, and a nice smell wafted from the container. He grinned lazily and looked up to find Patton standing there pensively, looking worried. He beckoned the other to kneel down to his level before gently pulling Patton’s head to his, pressing their foreheads together in a comforting gesture.

“Uh, Dorian..?” “That gesture means he’s okay, Popstar. He and I know you're worried but it really does just happen to be this way sometimes, even if I don’t like it. He’s pretty non-vebal when like this, so maybe stick to yes or no questions.” Dorian sighed softly, thankful that Virgil was fluent in his body language.

When Patton responded with a nod and settled down on the couch, Dorian finally relaxed enough to sip from the thermos. One good thing, Dorian had learned, about being a side was that he thankfully did not need his tongue to taste things. Sure it was a much duller taste than if he did have it, and the same went for smell for him, but he could still taste food. So, despite his dampened senses, Dorian still enjoyed his warm soup nonetheless.

He barely protested when Virgil moved him to the couch, placing him in his arms and scooting over so that Patton could drag Logan onto the couch as well to finish watching the documentary. Within half an hour, Dorian was out like a light with a warm full belly and a warm body to cuddle up against.

When he awoke about an hour later, Patton and Logan were gone from the couch, and instead sat on the floor with Roman and Remus. Roman and Remus were each working on their own kind of crafts while Logan worked on finishing the puzzle and Patton colored in a coloring book, all of them chatting amicably between one another. He didn’t dare move much, knowing his awakening would upset the balance between the group.

On his neck where Virgil’s left hand rested, he receives three small taps. ‘Are you okay?’ With a long pause, Dorian responds with a small frown. One tap against Virgil’s chest, ‘No.’

Virgil sighs deeply, silently as he pulls the other closer so Dee can hide against Virgil’s neck, fingers threading through messy curls in an attempt to sooth the deceitful side.

Thankfully no one takes notice, and the day ends quietly. Dorian almost thinks he can get away with being in his room for another three days, except, Dorian awakes the next day with Roman knocking on his door and excitedly asking if Dorian would come duet with him and knows theres no use in holding his breath.

It hurts Dorian, the sad expression the fanciful side makes, when Dorian opens the door with a sheepish look. Still, Roman understands, and instead offers to let Dorian be his audience and companion into the imagination. He even gifts Dorian a long thick, weightier cape that resembles a weighted blanket with the outfit style they appear in. It soothes Dorian plenty, and he's as obvious as he can be about being thankful for it to make up for his lack of voice.

They spend the morning strolling through Roman’s kingdom, Dorian occasionally letting Roman pull him into a waltz or a twirl as he sung to the deceitful side. Despite Dorian’s temporary muted state, he was anything but quiet. He couldn’t help it really, Roman was a loveable dork and could be so cheesy at times, his giggles were justified, damn it!

There was also the lucky factor that Dorian could still hum along with Roman whenever the other got close enough to hear him, and knew that the compromise was highly appreciated. Roman could speak for two, and was still generally versed in enough sign language and Dorian’s own facial expressions to keep up a conversation.

Thankfully, Roman steered clear of asking Dorian about his silence, being respectful and instead choosing to use the silence to his advantage to flirt with the scaled side, knowing he’d get less resistance. And if Dorian ended up in his arms at the end of their trip to hide his blushing face against the fanciful side’s chest? That was just fine by him.

When they returned to the common room in the mind palace, they were greeted by the lovely smell of baked goods. It didn’t take long before Patton appeared with a plate of still warm cookies, who seemed to get even more excited when he spotted the duo entering the living room.

“Hey kiddos! You two are in luck, I just finished some chip-tastic chocolate chip cookies! Want one??” Patton said excitedly, holding out the tray. Immediately, Dorian’s stomach dropped at the offering of solid food, and gritted his teeth as he smiled and took one, thankful that it was still warm and mushy. Roman happily too two and munched on one as he chatted with Patton about their lovely trip, neither of them any wiser to Dorian’s issue.

He nibbled on the cookie as he listened to the two and nodded along when necessary, mentally warring with himself on how to tackle this issue. Thankfully it was still warm and mushy, but shoving it into his mouth in front of the two would be suspicious. He really had no other option though, as chewing small bites would make his issue fairly obvious. Internally sighing, he gave into the first option.

In one swift movement, he’d shoved the whole cookie into his mouth to chew, hand covering his mouth sheepishly. Both Roman and Patton took a moment to notice, but both of them just kinda paused in realization and Dee stared back, daring them to question him with a stare.

“Dor, why..?” Roman grinned, more confused and amused than concerned. Dorian just huffed and swallowed, then signed ‘snake instinct’ to them with a fake embarrassed expression.

Confusion turned to understanding as both right-brain sides echoed a soft “ohhh, right.” Crisis averted, at least for the time being. Eventually the trio split, and Roman and Dorian ended up on the couch watching Tangled to wind down from their eventful day.

Eventually Remus and Logan joined them, and they ended up putting on Wall-E next, if only to please their resident nerd and trash-child. However, Remus was feeling particularly bratty today and getting rather frustrated with his best friend when Dee wouldn’t back him up on any of his ideas or thoughts.

“C’mon, Dee, work with me! They’re literally eating themselves! Back me up here double D! It’s like a cat cut your tongue out!” He growled, pouting in Logan’s lap. Swiftly, though, Remus’s attention returned to the movie without a thought of what he’d said to the lying side, unaware of just how right he’d been. The only side to notice his shift in demeanor was the fanciful side who’s lap he was sat on, who had felt him stiffen up considerably at that last sentence. Gently, Roman pulled him closer and soothed a hand over the other’s scales, scratching gently in an attempt to distract the other from his brother’s rude remark. Eventually, Dorian settled down and let the remark go, and that was the end of that.

Despite that close call, everything was going great, all things considered. By the time the first week had passed, everything had gone back to normal, aside from the few extra visits he had received from the others simply checking in on him, everything had been fine. His tongue was even beginning to regenerate! He’d been keeping a close eye on it when he could, trying to keep the checkups at a minimum and doing them late at night to avoid possibly getting found out. It was a foolproof plan!

Until it wasn’t.

He should’ve realized that Virgil would eventually start back up with his late night visits, just like he used to do before their split. Dorian had told him that his door was still open if Virgil ever wanted to come bother him late at night, knowing that both of them were still night owls. Perhaps he should’ve kept his guard up, not gotten too relaxed while his tongue was healing. He’d only had a week to go before he’d have his tongue back and then all would go back to normal.

But life was never that kind to him.

Leave it to tired stupid Dorian to leave his door unlocked and cracked at midnight while he sat on the floor infront of his mirror, inspecting his open mouth without much thought. The regeneration had only just begun, so his lack of tongue was still absolutely present.

Then, in a moment of brilliance, Dorian looked up at his door, only just realizing it hadn’t been fully closed. Staring back at him instead was Virgil, wide eyed and white as a sheet. The anxious side was frozen, staring right at Dorian’s mouth in disbelief.

“...D-Dee?” His shaky voice had been barely above a whisper. Dorian had long since shut his jaw tight, eyes wide in terror.

Eventually, Virgil gathered enough of his barings to slowly walk over to where Dorian was seated, and kneeled down. Shaking hands reached out and cupped Dorian’s jaw, his eyes wide and flicking between Dorian’s lips and Dorian’s distant expression.

“Dee, please.. please tell me this isn’t the reason why you haven’t been talking..” his voice sounded desperate, his eyes searching for any sign of illusion or trickery and only finding pain and shame. Tears were already pricking at Dorian’s eyes and shame was curling in his gut, making him sick to his stomach.

Virgil’s horror quickly began to morph into anger, “that cruel fucker did this to you, didn’t he?” He gently pulled Dorian closer, resting his forehead against the other’s in an attempt to comfort the other. “Dee, please. Answer me.” Virgil cursed, his voice distorting more with every passing minute. He huffed, wanting to snarl the moment Dee nodded his head meekly.

He wanted to kill him, Wrath would be a dead man the moment he saw him. But right now, that could wait. Despite his overwhelming anger and anxiety, Dorian needed help, he needed to be in a safe place. They needed safe company, and Virgil desperately needed someone to stop him from going full feral.

With little idea on what to do, he picked Dorian up carefully and brought him into the commons’ living room. This would at least be a neutral space to give him some time to think. He absolutely refused to put Dorian down now, his protective instinct going haywire with the deceitful side trembling and quietly hiccuping in his arms.

Despite his best efforts, it did eventually get to the point where his heightening anxiety was starting to affect the whole palace, and within minutes the rest of the sides came stumbling down the stairs.

It was an odd sight, a highly anxious Virgil sporting a look of near-feral level of murderous on his face as he carried Dorian bridal style, the lying side having his face tucked up and hidden away while his shoulders were shaking with silent sobs. Before much could be said, Virgil’s heavily distorted voice rang out chillingly into the room.

“We need to talk.”

#sanders sides #sympathetic deceit #sympathetic remus #DLAMPR #roceit #wrath sanders #tw hinted gore #tw abuse mention #tw lost body part

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ironwoman359 · 5 years ago

Note

The whole group just wrecking havoc in order to rescue their kidnapped teammate and crying together with Patton?

Sacrifice

Summary: It’s been over a lifetime since the priests of the Harvest God demanded a human sacrifice. But this year, they’ve called for a young man with a pure heart to appease the god…which does not bode well for Patton. Romantic LAMP, Patton centric hurt/comfort.

Word count: 1,851

Content Warnings: Human sacrifice, fantasy violence, knives, bow & arrows, bad people are killed in self defence, mentions of killing animals, sympathetic deceit and remus are mentioned but not really that important.

Author’s Notes: I have no explanation for this, I wanted to write a short little whumpy hurt/comfort scene then this happened. Hope you enjoy!

— — —

Patton had never been dressed so finely in all his life. The white robes he wore were made of the softest fabric he’d ever felt, and were cinched at the waist with a silk belt that was as smooth as running water beneath his fingertips. A crown of flowers sat on his head, and his normally wild curls had been washed and treated with some kind of oil that made them shine in the sun like spun gold.

And he was shaking so hard that the chains wrapped around his wrists and ankles were rattling louder than the altar boys’ tambourines.

He stumbled as the procession continued to walk through the city streets towards the square, and a priest beside him pulled him up roughly by the arm, forcing him back into line. Patton’s vision was blurry with tears, but he didn’t really need to see to walk towards his imminent doom. He was almost glad for the lack of clarity.

They reached the center of the city far too soon for Patton’s liking, and the procession came to a stop. Two priests took Patton by the arms and marched him forward towards the huge marble altar that stood in the town square. The monument was usually a beautiful sight, with the sunlight catching the glistening stone just so and showing off the fine craftsmanship that had gone into carving and constructing the holy structure.

Patton found the sight a lot more ominous than usual on this particular morning, but he supposed that was because he was going to die here.

He did not struggle as the priests pulled him up and laid him down on the altar, though that was less because he was ready to die and more because his body had more or less gone completely numb. The altar boys who had played tambourines in the parade celebrating his death lay their instruments down and helped the priests take the chains wrapped around Patton’s wrists and ankles and secure them to the edges of the altar, where loops had been thoughtfully carved out to make securing the sacrifice easier.

Patton’s heart ached at the sight of the little boys being so casual about their work- didn’t they care that he was a person, about to die right in front of them?- but he supposed that the priests had told them it was no different from when they sacrificed bulls in the temple.

And while Patton did feel bad for the bulls at the yearly Harvest Sacrament, he’d never found anything particularly wrong with the practice.

Every year on the first morning without frost, the priests would hold a scrying in the temple to divine what sacrifice the Harvest God required for the year to be prosperous. Patton had heard stories, of course, of when the Harvest God asked for humans. There was a reason the altar in the town square had been built, after all. But in all Patton’s life, the priests had never demanded the people for a human sacrifice, and Patton had assumed that it was simply an old practice that had been done away with as society moved on. Sacrificing a bull had been the harvest tradition for longer than Patton had been alive.

Until this year, when the priests had emerged from their scrying with the declaration that the Harvest God demanded the sacrifice of one of the townsfolk, of a “youthful male, pure of heart and soul,” to be precise.

Patton had been in the market with his partners when they’d taken him.

He let his thoughts drift to their faces as the High Priest began the opening words of the ritual. To Roman’s tan skin and dazzling smile, to the way Logan’s nose scrunched up and brow furrowed when he was concentrating, to the soft fondness that Virgil had hiding just behind the exterior of his sharp gaze. He wished he could have told them one last time how much he loved them, how special they were to him and how he’d treasured every moment of time that they’d spent together.

But he hadn’t gotten a chance to properly say goodbye, and now the last image of them he had in his mind was of their shocked horrified faces, accompanied by his own screams as he’d been ripped away from them and dragged to the temple for purification.

The High Priest finished his speech, and took a long knife from am intricately jeweled sheath. Tears filled Patton’s eyes as the High Priest held the weapon high above his head, ready to plunge it down into Patton’s chest.

“Harvest God, with this soul, we appease thee,” said the priest, and Patton closed his eyes.

He was expecting pain. What he was not expecting was an angry shout from the crowd followed by a surprised gargling sound from over his head. He opened his eyes just in time to see the High Priest fall backwards off the pedestal, an arrow embedded in his chest. The temple officials all made various sounds of surprise, which only increased when a boy in dark clothes swung his way up onto the platform, followed by boy in a red tunic who quickly drew a sword from his belt.

Patton’s heart leapt with joy, then clenched with fear at the sight of two of his boyfriends.

“V-virgil,” he choked out as the youngest of his loves knelt by his head. “What are you doing here they’ll, you’ll be killed you have to run-”

“Not without you, Pat!” Virgil said fiercely, raising a morning star up over his head.

Another arrow flew over their heads as Virgil began hacking at the chains holding Patton down, felling a temple guard who’d been approaching from behind.

“Virge, hurry! More are coming!” Roman called from where he was fighting two priests at once, who apparently did more than just stare into bowls of incense all day based on how well they were fighting back.

The chains were strong enough to keep Patton from escaping, but they were also ceremonial, engraved and made of gold, so it only took a few strikes from Virgil’s weapon before one of Patton’s arms was free, then the other, and then one of his legs as well. Virgil raised the morning star high, but then froze, just as Patton felt something sharp and cold press against his neck.

One of the priests had apparently been clever enough to pretend to be shot by one of the arrows that still rained from overhead, and had crawled over to the High Priest’s corpse. The ceremonial knife was now at Patton’s throat, and Virgil and Roman were frozen, staring into the priests eyes.

“Don’t,” Virgil said, his voice dark and dangerous, but Patton could hear the hint of panicked desperation underneath.

The priest looked back and forth between Roman and Virgil, and for a moment the pressure against Patton’s throat lessened and he dared to hope.

“Harvest God, with this soul-”

An arrow appeared out of nowhere, lodging itself into the priest’s neck, and the man went limp. A few more inches to the left and the projectile would have hit Patton instead; the man probably assumed that whoever was firing the arrows wouldn’t risk injuring Patton to hit the priest. The priest had clearly never met Logan, or seen him shoot an apple out of a pig’s mouth at the Summers Eve feast. Virgil brought the morning star down, snapping the final chain and pulling Patton out of his stupor.

He scrambled to his feet and Virgil dropped his weapon, scooping Patton up bridal style and sidling up behind Roman.

“Go,” he urged, and Roman leapt down from the altar, the crowd of people parting away from his sword like sheep from a wolfhound.

Virgil followed suit, and then they were running through the streets so fast it made Patton’s head spin. He loped his arms around Virgil’s neck and buried his face in his chest, trying to block out everything around him.

After a few minutes of running, they had reached the city stables, and Patton barely had time to ask what was happening before he was deposited in the back of a carriage, Virgil scrambling in after him. Low voices came from outside the carriage, and Patton recognized the voice of the stable master, Dee, talking with Roman.

“-everything’s arranged. We’ll meet up with Remus at the Hearthfire Inn then go our separate ways.”

“Are we good to depart?” came a new voice, and Patton’s heart leapt at the sound.

“Yes, everything has been arranged,” Dee said, and after another chorus of thank yous, the door to the carriage was open and Logan was climbing inside, followed quickly by Roman.

Patton could hear Dee clamoring to sit in the driver’s seat, and after another moment there was a flick of reins and the carriage rolled out of the stables, the horses cantering at a brisk pace judging by how quickly Patton saw branches rush past before Logan shut the curtains.

He turned to Patton then, and sagged in relief.

“Patton,” was all he managed to choke out before Patton was flinging himself into Logan’s arms.

“Thank you,” he whispered, his whole body trembling as Logan began to gently run his fingers through Patton’s curls.

Patton glanced up at Virgil, whose face was an interesting mixture of relieved and terrified, and then over at Roman, reaching out for them until they moved to join the embrace.

Roman came alongside him and Virgil pressed up against his back, effectively sandwiching him between his three loves, and Patton let out a shaky breath.

“Thank you,” he repeated, looking between all three of them, and Virgil nodded.

“Of course…god, Patton, of course, we weren’t about to just sit back and do nothing, we could never leave you like that.”

Whatever strength Patton had left evaporated, and he broke down into sobs in their arms, overcome with all the emotions he’d been experiencing over the last few days. Fear, hopelessness, despair, all giving way into a bone deep exhaustion that Patton couldn’t fight any longer.

Soft, comforting murmurs surrounded him, accompanied by gentle, soothing touches to his arms, his face, and his hair. He let himself cry, for how long he wasn’t sure, but eventually the sobs quieted and he let himself just be held in their arms, savoring the feeling of each of them pressed against him.

“I…I think I want to sleep for a bit,” he said quietly, and a murmur of agreement came from someone, he wasn’t sure who.

“I shall take first watch,” Logan said, leaning down to kiss Patton on the forehead. “The rest of you may sleep.”

“Sounds good, Specs,” Roman said, and Virgil was already closing his eyes and burying his face in Patton’s neck.

Roman let an arm fall around Virgil’s shoulders before closing his own eyes. Patton looked up at Logan, who gave him a soft smile.

“Rest, Patton,” he said so quietly that Patton almost felt rather than heard the words as his eyes drifted closed. “We’ll be right here with you.”

—

Sanders Sides Taglist (pt.1): @lizethemotherlycat, @coffeestudylive, @logically-asexual, @migraine-marathon, @princeyssash, @idontevenfreakingknow22, @tree4life25, @spacevirgil, @virgiltheanxious, @thebaagelboy, @msu82, @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2, , @thesleepyraziel, @bobolovesoze, @littlemiracle05, @pattson, @nerd-in-space, @thesides, @stay-in–place, @ravenclawunicorn1, @at-least-seven-pretty-potatoes, @michealawithana, @anotherfandomtrasher , @fandomsofrandom, @a-deliciouslyfadingcollection, @nightmarejasmine, @xxfoxit, @quoth-the-sparrow, @katatles-the-fish, @misty-the-mysterious, @alyssadashrub, @punkassplonker, @noctisvalex, @i-sold-my-soul-to-thefandom, @funsizedgremlin, @vigilantvirgil, @nonamefightergirl, @thomasbemyfriend, @starsinger , @milomeepit, @justabookworm39, @shortandfantastic, @thesilentbluesparrow, @royallyanxious, @mirror2thespirit, @coffee-stains-paper-and-ink, @silverrhayn, @mooksie01, @backatthebein, @nye275, @anastasialestina, @callboxkat, @a-lexicon-of-words, @emeraldfoxface, @peachie-keeen, @llamaly, @witch19, @heythereprincey, @bring-it-on-perra, @nienna14, @bubblycricket,

Sanders Sides Taglist (pt.2): @thomasfandersunite, @slightlyobssesive, @logicallyanxious, @apologetically-anxious, @keys117, @digitally-analog, @ocotopushugs, @warping-reality, @grey-lysander, @your-username-is-unavailable, @hikariyukino, @theresneverenoughfandoms, @virgil-sanderssss, @violetmcl, @thatfandomfollower, @nothingelsemattersme, @cdragontogacotar, @narniasfinestavengingsociopath, @absentmindedproff , @fantasyandfairfolk , @virgilsblogofanxietys, @your-average-outcast, @sanderstalker, @galaxy-warping, @queen-of-all-things-snuggly @a-little-bit-of-ace, @faithfreedom-art @therealhmmlingle @xxladystarlightxx, @morgan-the-art-girl, @stormcrawler75 @wowitsmyblog, @romanssippycup, @lunalikesgamesandstuff, @lamp-calm-sanders, @musikasworld @cyberpunkjinx, @mauvelavender @samathekittycat @black-out-wonder @i-read-by-lamp @ravenclawicecream @nashiraneko @lucifer-in-my-head @ladyartemisia28 @awesome-and-unique-username @zoalis @entpscarleharrrr @raygelkitty @zeldahadasword @gubbalupagus @musicphanpie-b @virgilssweaterpaws, @faacethefacts @a-simple-fryingpan @pinkeasteregg @punknerdmusings @imantisocialgetoverit @anuninspiredpoet @awkward-avocado-of-death, @poison-lyra @modcarbz, @thisrandomperson102, @skydiamcnds @just-another-starfish, @thepoolofthedead,

#sanders sides #patton sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #ts fanfic #hurt/comfort #whump prompts #my writing #radioactivehelena #asks and answers

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stubbornness-and-spite · 4 years ago

Text

The Little Prince: A Sanders Sides Little Red Riding Hood AU

Taglist from @the-taglist-repository at the bottom - Sanders Sides, Fantasy, Human, Roman-centric - this is a fairy tale au with some vague depictions of magic with human sides except for Janus and Remus

Warnings are at the bottom and in the tags if you want to check before you read. Please be safe, but I didn’t put them at the top because they do give away part of the ending.

This story contains unsympathetic Deceit and morally gray Remus

Once upon a time there was a boy who lived in a cottage in the woods. Some might have called him a man, but they were the ones who would call a girl a woman because they found her beautiful and a boy a man because they thought him weak and in need of change. So for the sake of this story, we will call him what he was: a boy. This boy was bright and imaginative and playful. He liked to go into town and entertain the younger children(some of the older ones as well, and the adults who were willing to admit that they had not yet outgrown stories) with his fanciful tales of knights and dragons and princes who never failed. The people in town called him Little Prince and he took to the title with pride. Every so often he would talk with an older man who also enjoyed visiting the village to talk to the children. (Well, the boy thought he was an older man, but he was young and knew little of age. The man had only just lived more than thirty years.)

Now the little prince had grown up mostly alone, with very little guidance and so when he met this man who seemed so kind and willing to listen to even the most trivial problems, he had been enthralled. He’d gone up to the man one day, a little before the sun set which was when they both usually left the town.

“Excuse me, sir?”

The man looked at the boy with a kindly face that the little prince had only ever seen directed at others before.

“What can I do for you, kiddo?”

The little prince blushed, suddenly embarrassed by his boldness as he never had been before. “I was wondering how far into the woods you lived, sir? It’s getting cold and dark rather quickly and I wouldn’t want you to walk alone in the cold.”

The man laughed. “Would you know that in all the years I’ve come to this town and carried groceries for these people and kept their children out of trouble, you’re the first to ever worry that I was going home in the cold?”

The little prince frowned. “Why do you keep coming then?”

“Because I believe that no matter how much good we receive, it is our job to put more good out into the world.”

The little prince smiled. “That’s a very nice sentiment, sir, but it is dark and cold out and my home is only a five-minute walk away. My brother will have a fire going and it should be quite warm if you’d like to stay the night.”

The man nodded. “I would appreciate that,” he said, turning to follow the boy. “What would your name be, kiddo? I only hear the kids call you the prince.”

The boy paused, startled. “My name is Roman,” he said after a moment. “And you?”

“I’m Patton.”

The little prince’s home was large for the two boys who lived in it and it was close to the town and it was always warm. The little prince liked to go to town and spend time out of the house, but his brother-in-all-but-blood, whose name was Virgil and who had no other moniker that he took pride in, preferred to stay home, so he would keep a fire going and the house warm for when the little prince returned. It was close and warm and too empty for the boys and so Patton and his common-law husband, Logan became rather permanent fixtures, spending as much time there as they did in their own home further out into the woods. Like Virgil, Logan preferred the solitude of a house separate from the town, but they both seemed to enjoy being alone together while Patton and Roman spent their days in town, entertaining the children.

Logan and Patton didn’t spend every night with the little prince and his brother who they had adopted as their own in all but law and they did sometimes return to their own home further out in the woods.

It was during one of these times that our story truly begins.

It was well past noon when our little prince overheard a conversation that if he had missed, he might have been saved a lot of trouble. Patton and Logan had headed home a few days before and had not been seen by either of the boys since. The little prince had gone into town less, staying home and keeping his brother company. They had both believed that the men had simply gone into town on the days that the boys didn’t. It wasn’t until the little prince heard talk in town that he realized that the men who had become like parents to him had not been seen in days.

There was talk of sending someone out to be sure the men were alright, but no movement to action. The little prince thought for a moment about what a hero in one of the stories he told the children would do. He thought and then he acted.

“I’ll go find him!” he cried, throwing his hands in the air. The adults laughed to see him so ready for adventure, but none of them thought the woods particularly dangerous and decided not to stop him.

The baker gave him some bread and pastries in a basket. The smith gave him a small knife in case he encountered any trouble. A blushing woman gave him a bouquet of flowers to give to Patton when he found him and the little prince had to fight down his distaste as he slipped the flowers into his basket. A seamstress gave him a bright red cloak that he wrapped around his shoulders like a hero from a storybook. He bid them farewell and started off into the woods to Patton and Logan’s house.

Now, on his journey, the little red prince encountered a great many things that were not of importance. We will not discuss them because there were two things, or shall we say, two people who were of much greater importance that he stumbled across on his journey into the woods. Patton and Logan both had warned the boys never to travel through the woods as deep as their home alone, but in his excitement to be a hero, the little prince had forgotten all the warnings.

“Well, hello there, little boy,” a voice purred from just off the path. It wasn’t much of a path, more of a trail that had been worn down by Patton and Logan’s constant walking.

“Hello,” the little prince said brightly, for he had forgotten the warnings if you remember. He looked around in confusion because he could see no one there. “Where are you?” he asked.

The voice laughed longer than it should have, the laugh sounding practiced and fake. “If you saw my face, you would run away in fear and not listen to a word I have to say.”

The prince(for in his mind he was not so little anymore) scoffed. “I’m far braver than you give me credit for! Show yourself!”

The voice only laughed again. “Perhaps I am the frightened one then, if you are so brave. May I have your name, O Brave One?”

“My name is Roman,” he declared, for princes never shy away from a challenge or taunt. “In the town, they call me the little prince.”

“I am in the presence of royalty!” the voice cried with a mocking air. “Well, Prince Roman, if you are so brave, why do you stick to the path? You are going to save the poor dears at the end of it from whatever ails them, are you not?”

The prince was starting to get upset now at how the voice mocked him. “Not that its any business of yours, but I am.”

“That’s very chivalrous of you, Prince Roman,” the voice said, sounding a tad more genuine. “If you just follow the sound of my voice, I can lead you to a much quicker path to your grand adventure.”

“I think I’ll stay.” Say what you will about the little prince, he was stubborn to a fault.

“Surely a prince as brave as you isn’t afraid to take a shorter route off of the path?” With every sentence, the voice sounded more and more genuine and more and more tempting. “You’d see so many wonderful things that you wouldn’t on the boring path. Won’t you join me?”

The prince didn’t answer. He wanted to follow and see the world and prove himself so badly. This could be his one chance to be a real hero instead of just a scared little boy who pretended to be a prince.

“No,” he said firmly. “I’m going to follow the path and find Patton and Logan. Thank you for the offer, but I have to decline.”

“Very well,” the voice replied. “But don’t think I’m the worst threat in these woods. There are things in these trees far more terrifying than me.”

Roman took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Thank you for the warning.”

Roman made his way down the path a little less steadily than he had before. He was no hero and he was certainly no prince. He kept his eyes on the path in front of him, ignoring the whispers in the trees and the shadows that crossed behind him. He just had to reach the house at the end of the path and it would all be over. Patton and Logan would be there and they could take him home. He wouldn’t have to be alone in the woods anymore.

“Was it Prince Roman?” A voice called from directly behind him. “Or is it just Roman now?”

Roman’s breath caught and he walked faster, not turning around. Dead leaves crunched under his feet, but while he could hear whoever the voice belonged to getting closer by the sound of their heavy breathing, their footsteps were perfectly silent.

“Come on,” the voice needled. It was different from the last voice. The last one had been sickeningly sweet and tempting, but this one was taunting and mocking and sounded almost like his own. “You gave the snake your name, won’t you talk to me too?”

Roman walked faster.

“I can walk beside you if you want.”

A glint of green caught the corner of Roman’s eye but he kept his gaze stubbornly forward and kept walking.

“Or I can step in front.”

Roman stopped dead as the figure stepped in front of him. The figure wore a bright green cloak and had a black shirt where Roman’s was white, but other than the wrong color clothes, it was like looking in a mirror.

“So should I call you Prince Roman or just Roman?” the figure asked sharply with a wide toothy grin.

Roman swallowed. “Just Roman,” he choked out.

The way the figure smiled looked more like a predator than another person and yet looked exactly like Roman’s own smile. “Then you can call me just Remus.”

“What do you want?”

“Nothing!” the figure Remus chirped. “I just want to show you something! It’s much more interesting and creative than the boring stuff you come up with.”

Roman scowled, side-stepping and walking past Remus, who kept pace by his side. “I’m not interested in anything you have to show me.”

“But it’s so cool!” Remus whined. “All you have to do is step a little bit off of the path.”

Roman declined. Remus insisted. Roman declined. Remus insisted. They went back and forth for a while.

“What more do you have to lose?” Remus finally said. “Your brother will be fine without you. Your real parents and the ones you thought would take care of you both abandoned you and the only reason you’re here is because you just can’t accept it. You aren’t a hero; you aren’t a prince and you know it. Let me show you something better, Roman. Just step off the path.”

Remus’s words rang in Roman’s head, echoing and repeating until they were all he could think. What did he have left to lose? What if he got to the end of the path and Patton and Logan didn’t want him anymore? What if they really did leave on purpose?

“No,” the little prince said firmly. “I am not going to step off of the path.”

Remus’s form shimmered and slowly faded away, back into Roman’s shadow. “Good.”

The little prince breathed easier as the path in front of him cleared again. The sun had set, but he could see a flickering light in the distance. The little prince broke into a run and the flickering image became clearer and clearer until he could see a little cottage. It looked like it had been built carefully and according to written specifications, but it was also covered in ivy and practically overrun by flowers. Logan and Patton.

The little prince’s face was split in a wide grin as he knocked on the door. The door drifted open with the force of his knock.

“Patton, Logan?” the little prince called. “Are you here?”

“Back here, Prince Roman,” called a rough voice that sounded vaguely familiar. The little prince didn’t think much of it. Maybe Patton had a cold and that was why they had disappeared.

The little prince dashed in, practically slamming the door behind him, following the sound of the voice.

He reached what must have been Logan and Patton’s bedroom and paused, a sense of relief rushing over him. There was a lump under the blankets on the bed that must have been Logan because standing by him with his back to the door was a very familiar figure. In that moment, a soft grey sweater draped over a sky blue shirt was the most perfect image that the little prince had ever seen.

“Patton!” he cried out in relief.

Patton turned around slowly and the little prince’s relief turned to ice in his veins and throat. Patton’s eyes were yellow and his face was twisted into a sickening grin. “Yes, Roman, dear?” he purred.

And the little prince knew where he recognized the voice from. It wasn’t Patton.

“You’re the voice from the woods. Remus called you a snake.”

The thing that looked like Patton let out a soft breath that was almost a laugh. “Did he now? I’ll admit, it is one of his more flattering descriptions of me.”

“What did you do with Patton and Logan?”

The figure smirked. “Nothing at all and I resent the question.”

“What do you mean ‘nothing’?” the prince snarled.

“My dear boy,” the figure looked at the prince with mock concern. “I tried to warn you. I tried to keep you from coming here where you would learn my secret. My darling little prince, I am and have always been Patton.”

“No.”

“You have no one who loves you. You have nothing and no one. You have always been a scared little boy, alone and unloved, desperate for any scraps of affection I threw to you. It was like playing with a puppy.”

“No!” the prince shouted. “What about Logan? What did you do to him?” He pointed at Logan’s prone form under the blankets.

“Nothing at all and I resent the question,” the voice from the woods hissed again.

“Do you mean me?” The prone form under the blankets sat up suddenly. A flash of green was the first thing the prince saw. Then he saw a very familiar face. His own.

“Remus?” he hissed.

“Roman!” Remus crowed. “Did you miss me?”

“Not in the slightest,” the prince growled.

“Aww, I missed you, bro!”

With a sharp intake of breath, the prince was struck speechless. “Monster,” he hissed after he regained his voice.

“Maybe we are,” Remus responded with a smile. “What are you going to do about it?”

The little prince turned tail and ran.

He didn’t run far. He dashed into the kitchen and looked around frantically for something, anything he could use to defend himself.

“Come now, little prince,” the voice from the woods called. (Not Patton, not Patton, not Patton) “We aren’t that scary.”

The little prince threw open cupboards and drawers but only found spices and cups.

“You came all this way to find us. Why don’t you stay?” Remus had fallen silent and the one who looked like Patton was calling after the little prince now.

A glint of light caught his eye. There was a block of knives on the counter. The little prince only had a moment to be afraid, to think ‘I’ve never hurt someone on purpose before.’ before the two frighteningly familiar figures darkened the doorway of the kitchen.

The little prince lunged, throwing himself across the counter and grabbing the largest knife he could. He brandished it in front of him, his hands shaking and looking far smaller than they ever had before.

“Put down the knife, little prince,” the one who looked like Patton cooed. “You can stay here and we can love you. We can tell you how wonderful and brave you are. We can make you feel wanted. Just put down the knife.”

Roman climbed off of the counter, every part of him shaking. His grip on the knife tight.

“Come on, princey,” Remus needled. “Just stay with us. You can play with all the knives you want if you just say you’ll stay.”

“All I have to do is say I’ll stay with you?” Roman whispered, stepping closer.

“That’s all you have to do,” the voice from the forest promised.

“Come on, say it!” Remus cheered. “It’s so lonely with only the snake, I want to have a brother! We can be twins!”

“Twins,” Roman mused, now only a foot away from Remus.

“You can both be my children,” the snake said, kneeling down so Roman could look Patton’s face in the eyes. Roman softened under the gaze of those kind eyes that had comforted so many times before. He softened.

And slammed the butcher knife into the side of the snake’s neck.

Remus screamed as the snake’s eyes went blank and his hands made an aborted motion to grab his neck. Roman ripped the knife out of the snake’s neck, holding back his flinch at the spurt of blood that doused the knife and his hand. He advanced on Remus, who was reaching out to the snake while also trying to back away from Roman and the knife. Roman kept walking forward, not saying a word.

Remus whimpered softly, still backing away but not taking his eyes off of the snake.

Roman lunged, tackling Remus and stabbing down as hard as he could. Remus squirmed under him and the knife sank into his shoulder. He let out another blood-curdling scream.

Roman saw movement out of the corner of his eye and turned to look as he reached for the knife again to end this nightmare once and for all. It was a mirror. There was a floor to ceiling mirror on the wall. Roman’s eye had been drawn to his own movement.

He looked in the mirror and what he saw was more frightening than anything else that had happened that day. He was covered in blood and there was a manic grin on his face. Remus’s eyes were streaming with tears and his nose was starting to drip.

“Please, please, please,” Remus was whispering. “Roman, please, I’m sorry, I don’t want to die. Please don’t kill me. Oh god, please don’t kill me. I’m sorry.”

Roman froze, his grip on the knife pushing it further through Remus’s shoulder. Remus screamed again, but Roman didn’t hear it. He was too entranced by the image in the mirror.

He looked like the monster.

Remus, his mirror image, his demonic reflection, his shadow was bleeding red and human, begging for his life and the little prince sat atop him, comfortable as he would be on a throne, and pressed a knife into his arm.

He looked back down at the wound, drawn in by the sight of the blood. He jerked the knife down Remus’s arm, relishing in the sound the knife made as it ripped through muscle and skin and scraped against the bone, and relishing in the sound of Remus’s screams. His screams weren’t clear anymore. They were almost melodic as his sobs cut and interrupted them.

Roman looked back at the mirror.

He was the monster.

“I’ll tell you where they are, just please don’t kill me! Stop, Roman, please!”

“Where who are?” Roman asked in a monotone voice.

“Patton and Logan! Roman, please!”

Roman sat back onto Remus’s legs. “How about this,” he offered. “You tell me where they are and we let them decide if I kill you.”

“They’re in the bedroom closet. We drugged their dinner, but it was really weak. They probably woke up when they heard me scream.” the words tumbled out of Remus’s mouth as if his life depended on it. Roman allowed himself a small laugh. It did.

Roman pushed the knife through Remus’s arm as hard as he could until he felt it wedge in the floor. “I’ll be back.”

Roman made his way to the bedroom where, sure enough, there was pounding coming from inside the closet. Roman jerked open the door and Patton and Logan tumbled out.

“Oh my god, Roman!” one of them cried. “You’re covered in blood, are you okay?”

Roman felt like he was in a trance. “It’s not mine,” he mumbled.

“What do you mean it’s not yours?” That was Patton who had his hands on Roman’s shoulders and was clutching him for dear life.

“Patton,” Logan called. (When had he left the room?) “Our little hero managed to kill the snake.”

Patton’s face was a mess of emotion that Roman couldn’t read. “You killed the snake? Oh, Roman…”

“He looked like you.”

“Oh my god.” Was that Patton or Logan from the other room? “Oh my god.” Logan must have found Remus.

Patton was gone. Roman was standing alone in the room.

He walked out and saw Patton and Logan kneeling over Remus’s prone form. It seemed the villain had passed out.

“Stay back,” Logan snapped as Roman tried to walk over.

“We know you’re pretending to be Roman, shadow,” Patton snarled.

“I’m Roman,” the boy insisted. He wasn’t sure that it was true any longer. “He’s the shadow. I fought him to save you.”

Remus coughed. “He’s right,” he admitted. “I’m the snake’s boy. He’s yours.”

“I don’t want to kill him anymore,” the boy said softly. “I think he’s been hurt enough.”

“With the snake dead, he’ll die soon enough anyway,” Logan remarked. “With the snake dead, there’s no reason for us to stay here to keep him away from the town anymore. We can leave the shadow in the house.”

Patton nodded almost sadly. “We can stay with Virgil and Roman now.”

“What if we bring him home with us?” the boy with the blood on his hands said. “I think he’s been hurt as much as anyone.”

“Hey, Ro?” Remus choked out. “You don’t need to be my hero to be the little prince.”

“No,” the little prince agreed. “I can never be your hero. But I think you don’t need to be my villain.”

They went home. The monster lived. Both of them. The shadow survived and the little prince was no more. The boy who had once been the little prince never did manage to wash all the blood off of his hands. He could never look at the shadow without remembering his screams. He could never look in a mirror without seeing his own face twisted up in sadistic glee and his shadow’s face crying in pain and terror. The shadow’s arm never did recover and the shadow had nightmares too. He dreamt of the snake’s death and cried, for the snake had been a monster but he had loved his little shadow. He dreamt of knives in his arms and his twin’s face splattered with blood and alight with a grin. He dreamed and screamed and cried and every night, without fail, his reflection, his twin, would climb into his bed and run his fingers through his hair. He would whisper sweet and soft reassurances until the shadow fell asleep.

“No one’s ever going to hurt you again.”

“Hey, Ro?” the shadow whispered one night. “Remember how I said you didn’t have to be my hero?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re something better.”

The shadow lived and the little prince died. The shadow lived and his reflection survived. The shadow lived and so did the hero. They were at peace. The shadow and the hero, two monsters, content in their depravity.

Warnings - slight gore, blood, murder, stabbing, knives, non-consensual drug use

Let me know if any warnings need to be added

Taglist - let me know if you want to be added or removed

You seemed interested in earlier parts of the story

@aquatedia @meowthefluffy

Sanders Sides

@katelynn-a-fan @dwbh888 @brain-deadx0 @the-grounded-raven @grouptalekindnesssoul @the-hoely-bleach @anvil527up @fanficloverinthesun

Fantasy - it’s a fairy tale au with some vague magic, let me know if you think stories like this don’t apply to fantasy

@arya-skywalker @callboxkat @rainbowbowtie @enby-phoenix @10moonymhrivertam @supernovainthenightsky

Humans - Janus and Remus aren’t but the rest are

@somehow-i-got-an-account @starlight-era @potatsanderssides

Roman-Centric @smileyzs @robinwritesshitposts @thatgaydemigodnerd @averykedavra @callboxkat @k1ngtok1 @potatsanderssides

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subtlereferencetomyinterests · 5 years ago

Text

Master Post

My Master Post for Sanders Sides fanfiction! These are arranged chronologically from newest to oldest, measured by the date they were completed and uploaded in full, so that will reflect the quality here. (there’s a ton more under the cut btw).

Fast Friends - ao3... (15k Remus-centric intruality, lopsided enemies to friends to lovers, humor and a bit of angst with a happy ending. tw; emetophobes beware!) Patton doesn't like Remus, until one day, he does! Well, Remus isn't buying it. So Remus is not about to be friends with him just because he wants to (no matter how much it maybe, kind of wouldn't mind that).

I’m Not Sorry - ao3... (6k remus-centric intrulogical. continuation of Did You Miss Me. Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.) Remus just wanted to get home safe to his wonderful, loving boyfriend. If some greaseball guy thinks he can screw that up, then Remus is perfectly willing to let the night take a turn for the vengeful.

Redamancy - ao3... (5k romantic prinxiety, fluffy friends to lovers with a smidgen of misunderstanding.) Virgil is undoubtedly excited about Nico. The thing is, that’s not the only person he’s excited about.

Did You Miss Me? - ao3... (13k romantic intrulogical, unhealthy relationship and mutual stalking treated light-heartedly. Dead Dove: Do Not Eat). Logan and Remus haven’t spoken in years. But that doesn’t stop them from keeping up with each other, through... various means.

The Down (and up)-side of Individual Expression - ao3... (8k romantic logince, angst w/ a happy ending, prosey and dealing w/ some kinda touchy subject matter vis a vis body image). As the sides have taken on vastly differing appearances over the years, Roman and Logan find themselves incredibly attracted in body and mind to each other. The issue is, Logan still has some trouble believing it.

Tree Bark and Fresh Fruit - ao3... (Fusion AU part six! romantic royality fusion returns for some prose and a lil bit of h/c). Patron doesn't come around often, getting lost in the excitement of Patton and Roman's new romantic relationship- so when she gets a shot to exist again, he's determined to make the most of it by figuring out just what the heck he's supposed to be.

Bitter Licorice and Bright-Blue Bubblegum - ao3... (Fusion AU part five! analogical fusion is back!) Logan and Virgil end up fusing much more regularly, much to Livril's satisfaction at getting to exist, and virtually every other side's chagrin at having to put up with them. Everyone, it seems, but Patton.

Scary Monsters and Family Bonds - ao3... (Fusion AU part four! Platonic anxceitmus with romantic dukeceit, short and mostly meaningless.) Rennet, freshly born like five seconds ago, is desperate to find some people to bother and/or amaze. But instead, Rennet finds an attachment that nobody quite expected to be so intense, but hey, it's not complaining, and neither is Virgil.

Acceptable Behavior - ao3... Remus is surprisingly concerned about his boyfriend's boundaries. (short & sweet intruality drabble. p/ much just cuddling)

On Truth and Untruth - ao3... Janus is allowed to participate in the group, and that is more than enough for them. Not too bad of a change up, really, and they aren't going to complain about it any time soon. Patton, however, insists on throwing a wrench into their system- their perfectly functioning, if maybe hypothetically a bit lonely, system. (28k word janus-centric romantic moceit and platonic dlampr, lots of angst and lots of yearning, with a happy ending. something of a character study.)

I Taste Honey but I Haven’t Seen the Hive - Chap.1, Chap.2, Chap.3, Chap.4, Chap.5, Chap.6, Chap.7, Chap.8, Chap.9 - ao3... (Finished!) Patton doesn't think of himself as misunderstood. More accurately, he's not very good at explaining himself. Remus explains himself perfectly well, succinct, confident. People are just bad at listening. Patton is lonely. He'd never say it out loud. No one knows. Remus is lonely. He says it in everything he does. No one knows. They're similar. They're different as can be. Contradictory, maybe; complimentary, definitely. They could be good for each other- they just need to explain it right. (hurt/comfort, eventual queer-platonic intruality, a healthy amount of angst).

Sharp Spikes and Glamour - ao3... (part three of my Fusion AU! a little angstier and racier than the others, but that’s thanks to the dukeceit dynamic, and its nothing too bad). Now, just a month ago, Remus could very confidently say that his and Janus’ relationship was perfect. And it still was, really, but that was before Roman and Patton had pulled some cartoon fusion bullshit that exactly no one had known was possible. There was no question. Remus was going to learn to do that.

Squishy, Precious Lil’ Baby! - ao3... Very short, platonic intruality fluff. Remus turns into a rat for a scare, but Patton is very unafraid of him in the new form.

Black Cloth and Star Systems - ao3... (Almost 4k fluff, part two of my Fusion AU! Very heavy on the descriptions, and also the Love that these two Have.) After Patton and Roman fuse, Logan can't help but feel desperately curious about this new discovery, and the possibilities of fusion between sides. But, his interest is a little more personal than he could stand to admit... Because what if- what if he could try it, too?

more under the cut

Flare Up - ao3... Human au drabble. Romantic sleepxiety. They are soft and in the rain.

Soft Walls and Roses - ao3... (Part one of my Fusion AU! Fluffy, sweet, and prose-y. Abt 3k.) On a nice, cheery day, Roman and Patton get a little lost in a dance <3.

Communication Issues (Alternative Title: Three Touch-Starved, Insecure, Metaphysical Beings Constantly Misinterpreting Each Other and Yet Somehow Falling in Love)- Chap.1, Chap.2, Chap.3, Chap.4 + Epilogue - ao3... (Finished!) What do you do when you find someone crying, and it’s all your fault? What do you say when you hear the muffled sobs and frantic words behind the blood-red door? When you know that, no matter how much you never wanted to hurt him- never wanted to hurt anyone- you still did. Is there anything you can do to fix it, when you’ve spent so long pretending that nothing was broken? When you’ve spent so long pretending that you didn’t care if things were broken or not? (Second Person, Present Tense. H/C slowburn. romantic analogince. Note: this is not an ‘x reader’ fic, it’s just 2nd person pov.)

A Study in the Pains of Romance as a Genre - ao3... Logan wasn’t 'insecure', by most measures. Sure, he wasn't exactly in love with himself, but he knew the harm that came of self-deprecation, and was careful to avoid it. At the worst of times, he could solidly be called 'self-neutral'. Therefore, it followed that Logan was being entirely objective when he said that he would not be a good enough romantic partner for Roman. (Friends to Lovers, abt 4k, romantic logince).

I Like You, Say It Back. - ao3... Short, sweet, slightly angsty first ‘I Love You’ between Virgil and Remus. romantic dukexiety.

A Misplaced Imbalance of Fear - ao3... almost 7k friends to lovers fastburn, in that this happens in a day. Set during/right after Putting Others First, a little peak into what Virgil and Remus were doing. Hint; being a little sad and very gay. romantic dukexiety.

The Ballroom - ao3... Every side has a room, but they also come with a special domain, completely individualized to each one. Of these Extensions, the only room that no side (other than its owner) has ever seen is Janus’. At least, until he falls head-over-heels for Roman and finally lets him in. (romantic roceit).

Hypothetically, - ao3... Nearly 7k friends to lovers, with a hearty helping of platonic logince. Logan likes to use the Imagination for experiments, but he can’t manage to use it on his own. The solution is obvious. (romantic intrulogical).

No Other Version of Me - ao3... Patton isn’t very happy about his new froggy features, but Janus finds him gorgeous all the same. Hurt/comfort! romantic moceit.

Complexities Unknowable- Chap.1, chap.2, chap.3, chap.4, chap.5, chap.6, chap.7 - ao3... (Finished!) Slowburn with pre-established Dukeceit, rivals to friends to lovers, with Background Analogince (plus some platonic anxceit and Creativitwins thrown in for funsies). romantic deintruality.

I’d Like To Stand By Him - ao3... Roman and Virgil listen to each other’s playlists. romantic prinxiety.

An Open and Honest Conversation About Our Feelings - ao3... hurt/comfort, shamelessly self-indulgent. Patton doesn’t come out of his room all day, so Virgil goes to check up on him. romantic moxiety.

Something to Uplift Us - ao3... Roman-centric (and Remus-centric) DLAMPR (platonic Creativitwins!). Quarantine shenanigans; the boys put on a show for their boyfriends!

Thursday Nights - ao3... Short fluff where Remus and Patton watch a horror flick together and cuddle. romantic intruality.

5 Times Logan Helped His Partners Get Their Shit Together +1 Time They Returned The Favor - ao3... Summary’s in the title on this one, Bud. Logan-centric romantic DLAMPR (platonic p & r), very hurt/comfort.

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foursideharmony · 5 years ago

Text

Mana-Shock

Everybody—well, @today-only-happens-once and many of her followers—has been shipping Virgil with magical exhaustion lately; what choice did I have? Only I figured I'd up the ante: life-threatening magical exhaustion! And then the whole thing got away from me. Whoops!

Genre: Fantasy AU, drama

Word Count: 2,395

Summary: Sorcerer!Virgil overdoes it while fighting a demon. Like, way overdoes it.

Ship: Platonic LAMP (Roman-centric)

Warnings: Exhaustion of various kinds and degrees. Risk of death/mention of dying. Very minor blood. Food. I think that's it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At last, it was almost over. That much was definite. But it still remained to be seen which way it would end.

Dark energy rippled across the battlefield in waves, each one striking the demon with nigh-cataclysmic force. It was a wonder, Roman thought, that Virgil was still holding himself upright, even with Patton bolstering him. Humans weren't meant to channel that much energy of any type at once, let alone Dark energy...but then again, Virgil wasn't entirely human, was he? Roman couldn't remember how far back the demon ancestor was—five or six generations, something like that, it didn't really matter, he was human enough, he had a soul, they'd proven it—but Virgil was certainly drawing on every scrap of that heritage, turning the demon's own power back on it. It was Logan who had figured out the key to defeating it, and Roman who had chiseled way at its physical form until it was vulnerable to sorcery, but only Virgil could properly handle the energy infusing its lair, having soaked in just from the dread being's presence over a period of time.

Virgil was hammering the demon with its own leftover energy...and it was costing him. Oh, was it costing him. They had known it would, that a demon this size would never go down easy, even if they had discovered how to destroy it, but Virgil hadn't hesitated to volunteer. It had to be done, so he would do it.

Roman was starting to think he had never grasped the true meaning of courage until now. It was easy to be “brave” when you had inherited the Sovereign Sword (against which no evil can stand!) and an Achilles Amulet—when your own survival was all but assured and your personal victory was more than likely. Virgil was stepping up even in the absence of such guarantees, and Roman felt a little ashamed to have considered himself a hero by comparison.

The demon roared—an oddly metallic sound—and flinched back a few paces. Virgil continued to press the attack. Shorn of its physical form, the demon was incapable of striking back as long as Virgil's assault continued, which meant the entire venture hung upon his stamina. If he held out long enough to destroy the demon, they would win. If not, it would recover and they would fail. And probably all die. So far, so good...but then it happened.

Patton's spell—the twin gold-white auras as he funneled his own spare mana to Virgil, to help him keep going under the onslaught of the tremendous power he was manipulating—flickered and went out. Patton staggered against a tree, panting, his face ghostly white and slick with sweat. “I—I'm spent!” he gasped. “No more left!”

Now Virgil was on his own, energy-wise. So he planted his feet ever more firmly and, with a faint growl, doubled his channeling rate.

The entire space of the forest glade seemed to warp and twist as the Dark energy was sucked from the environment and beamed back at its original source. The demon let out a wheedling whine; Virgil answered with a wordless roar. And Roman felt like a moron for thinking the young sorcerer had been tapping fully into his demonic heritage before, because now his teeth were lengthening and sharpening before all of their eyes, and his fingers were extending into claws, and there was a faint purplish glow coming from his eyes that seemed to somehow infuse certain things in the glade, causing the sorrel blossoms and the white mushrooms and Roman's own jacket to glow in response.

“This is insane!” Logan wailed. “He can't possibly—”

And then two things happened at more-or-less the same moment.

The demon exploded...well, no, exploded was the wrong word. It blew away, like the ashes of burning paper in a stiff wind, but the wind seemed to come from within it, blowing outward in all directions. Either way, it dissipated, hopefully destroyed but if not, then at least banished back to the Nether Realm of its origin.

And Virgil collapsed.

There was no dignity to it—he simply folded up, one second wobbling on his feet and the next sprawled on the moss, motionless. The other three let out shouts of horror and scrambled to his side. Patton, stiff with fatigue, fumbled in his pouch for his Heart's Eye while Logan checked Virgil's vital signs on the mundane level.

“How bad is it?” Roman asked.

“Bad,” Logan said flatly. Virgil's skin was so drained of color that it appeared almost gray, and his breath came in shallow, rattling gasps. Patton found the crystal he was looking for and peered through it at the fallen sorcerer.

“No...” he murmured, “...no, no, please! Virgil!”

“What?” Roman begged.

“His aura...it's gone!”

“Mana-shock,” Logan nearly whispered. “He completely drained himself. He's dying.”

“No—he can't—we have to do something!” Roman protested. “A mana transfer can save him, can't it?”

“Transfer from where?” Patton said mournfully. “I'm all tapped out, and you and Logan aren't mages. All we can do now is try to keep him comfortable.” He shrugged off his sky-blue cloak and laid it over Virgil like a blanket.

“We still have mana,” Roman pointed out. “We just don't know how to access it at will.”

“And therefore, we cannot offer it for transfer,” Logan said.

“Well, I don't accept that!” Roman barked, springing to his feet. “I'll—we—I...how much time does he have?”

Patton shrugged. “An hour, two hours at most. His power has already started feeding on his base life-force. Once that's gone...so is he.”

“Time enough,” Roman said. “I will figure out how to access my mana and save him! I swear it!”

He strode away from the somber group, his mind racing. Gaining conscious access to one's mana wasn't exactly easy—otherwise everyone would be a mage—but it wasn't exactly hard either. What it was, was unique to each person, to the point of near-randomness—some people found their technique in desperate circumstances (such as this, he thought glumly), while others stumbled across theirs while letting their minds wander. And every mage described their mana differently. Patton compared his to the reservoir of water underneath a kitchen and himself to the pump, while Virgil (oh gods, Virgil) had always said that using his was more like stepping backward into a shadow and letting it flow into and through him. Roman's sword instructor, Mr. Leo, said that for a battle-mage like himself, mana was just one more weapon in the arsenal, with its own associated fighting stances and moves, there to be taken out when needed and put away afterward.

A sudden thought struck Roman. He drew the Sovereign Sword and stared at it. Its light was subdued, without a nearby force of evil to contend with, but he could still feel its power humming, rattling him right down to the marrow of his bones. His eyes widened with realization.

He rushed back to the others, waving the Sword recklessly in his excitement. “I've got it! Sword! Mana!”

“Slow down,” said Logan.

Roman took a moment to get his words in order, giving him more than enough opportunity to take in the scene—as he had left it, more or less, except that Virgil's breaths had gotten weaker and his discoloration more pronounced. Even an hour was looking like a long shot.

“The Sovereign Sword uses the wielder's mana to trigger its powers,” Roman explained. “I can't tap my mana on purpose, but the Sword can! Can we use that somehow?”

Patton blinked. Then he blinked again, furrowing his brow. “Maybe I can...” he said in a voice that barely dared to hope. “Bring it here.”

Roman offered the Sword to Patton, but the healer only lightly grasped the blade, positioning his thumb on the edge so that it barely nicked the skin. He closed his eyes as a bead of blood welled up around the steel, and Roman recognized in his posture and breathing the signs of the slightest degree of meditative trance. After a moment, Roman felt a minute nudge at the core of his being, and Patton's eyes flew open again.

“Yes! I might be able to use it as a conduit! Oh! Quick! Roman, here, hold it so the tip rests just over his heart, like so! Logan, more trail mix please!”

Logan pulled a small muslin bag out of his pack and tossed it to Patton, who poured nuts and dried fruit from it directly into his mouth, hastily chewing and swallowing. Then he shifted position, taking hold of the Sovereign Sword again and wincing as the sharp edge settled back into the cut on his thumb.

“Okay, Roman,” he said. “This won't hurt. But your mana's not used to being tapped in this way and it might resist. If you feel a sudden urge to pull back, you need to..,to not do it, okay?”

“Okay,” Roman said, his voice cracking slightly.

“Logan? Please watch Roman for signs of exhaustion. It shouldn't take much of his mana to give Virgil a chance, but if it fights too hard, he could still be at risk, and I won't have the instinctive sense of when to stop like I would transferring my own mana. If Roman looks like he's in danger of passing out or anything, make us stop. I won't risk anyone else.”

“Of course,” said Logan.

Patton paused, using his free hand to stroke Virgil's bangs away from his ashen face. “Hang in there just a bit longer, kiddo,” he said. “We've got a plan to save you after all.”

They began. Roman hadn't known what to expect, but he was startled anyway at the sensation of something grabbing at his core, exactly where the nudge had been earlier. He started to flinch away from it, but stopped himself just in time. Still, it felt weird, like ghostly fingers fidgeting around inside his soul and flicking away bits of it. The remaining portion throbbed in protest and tried to push the fingers away, and it took all of Roman's will power to overrule the urge. He felt a whimper escape his lips.

“Patton, this is hurting him,” came Logan's voice, distant and fuzzy, as if coming through layers of wool.

“No!” he gasped. “Keep going! I'm all right!”

“His mana is fighting harder than I expected,” Patton said wearily. His voice, oddly, was as clear as a bell. “I don't know if...”

“Keep going!” Roman said again, even though he was starting to feel light-headed. “We can't fail!”

And with that, it was as if a window opened up before him, and beyond the window was a table, and on the table was an ornate oil lamp, its flame burning bright and strong. A breeze, somehow visible, was flitting in and out of the window, plucking at the flame, which flickered evasively. Roman understood at once, and he reached through the window, scooped up half the flame, and handed it to the breeze, which fluttered off somewhere. The window slammed shut.

Roman opened his eyes just long enough to see Virgil suddenly draw in a deep, desperate breath. Then the trees of the glade closed in and everything faded to black.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Roman awoke, and there was a window. But this time it was his bedroom window, and the light coming through it was morning sunlight. He felt heavy and slow, and it took some more waking up for him to realize that it was because someone had left three or four extra blankets on top of him.

A tidal wave of memory engulfed him and he sat bolt upright, flinging the blankets away. His head spun but he ignored the sensation. “Virgil!”

“Roman?” came Patton's muffled voice from the other side of the door. “Was that you I heard?”

“Yes...?” Roman replied. “You can come in if you want.”

Patton opened the door and entered, carrying a tray of some kind of pastry. Roman's stomach growled, but the vertigo chose that moment to reassert itself and he dropped back onto the pillows. “How are you feeling?” Patton asked.

“Pretty wiped out,” Roman confessed. “But forget about me. What about—?”

“—Virgil?” Patton beamed. “He's going to be all right. We saved him—you saved him. I don't know how, but you gave me more than enough mana to transfer without killing yourself. Now here—eat up, build back what you lost. I brought you some cheese-and-berry tarts. They're loaded with calories and nutrients, just like my trail mix.”

“Not sure I'm up to eating just yet,” Roman muttered. “If Virgil is all right...can I see him?”

“If you like,” said Patton, “but he won't have anything to say. He'll probably sleep for a couple more days yet.” Roman made a noncommittal grunt and Patton hastily continued, “Aw, don't look so crestfallen, kiddo! You accomplished something amazing yesterday! How did you do it, anyway?”

Roman opened his mouth to reply, but found the memory of how he had accessed his mana flowing away from him. Something about a window and...a candle? “I...don't remember,” he admitted. “I guess I'm still not a mage.”

“Well, that's okay. Mage or not, you're the best swordfighter I've ever known. And you're also a hero. We still have our dear friend because you wouldn't give up even when it seemed hopeless, and because you put yourself at risk for him.”

“I thought you'd be mad at me about that, actually,” Roman said. “You didn't want me to take that risk; I remember that much.”

“Wellllllll...it all worked out for the best, so I can't be too upset,” said Patton. “I might feel differently later, but we can cross that bridge when we get there. Now eat up; get your strength back. I've got the kettle on and I'll bring you some tea as soon as it's ready.”

“Actually,” Roman said with a yawn, “I think I need some more rest first.”

“Suit yourself. I'll leave the tarts here for you; promise me you'll eat something when you wake up again?”

“Sure thing, Pat,” Roman said. His eyelids drooped.

He had drifted off again before Patton was fully out of the room, a flame burning resolutely in the darkness.

#sanders sides #fanfiction #fantasy

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sevengraces · 4 years ago

Text

Humanity’s Ongoing Need To Fuck Up

Hello! This is my first published fanfic so enjoy!

Sanders Sides, Virgil Centric, Angst,

TW: panic attacks, swearing, self hate

Here is a Link to it on AO3.

Virgil hadn’t really known how on edge Roman was. Like he knew the guy hated him, and could he blame him for it?

He just hadn’t known Roman was having a hard time, I mean Virgil had known he wasn't doing good, but when was he ever?

Virgil had just been sitting on the farthest part of the couch from Logan, who had been there reading when he got there. Virgil definitely wasn’t planning on a conversation, he was just going to listen to his music in the commons so he could chill out a bit. Patton was with Thomas, so there wasn’t any talking. Of course that hadn’t been able to last.

Roman had bounced onto the commons, waxing lyrical about some boy they had seen at the grocery store, going on and on.

“He was so beautiful, like he could’ve snapped Thomas in half! But he wouldn’t of course.” Roman had announced.

This was where Virgil had made the momentous mistake of scoffing at Roman’s tirade.

“What Unbearable Snowman?” Roman had snapped.

Virgil had immediately regretted inserting himself into the conversation. Roman wasn’t talking to him, he was talking to Logan who:

Wasn’t listening and

Wouldn’t defend him.

He definitely wanted to flee, but he’d never live it down if he did. So Virgil shored up his defenses and hoped to get out unscathed.

“Didn’t say anything Charming.” he hoped that sounded sarcastic.

At this point Logan added, “Correct Anxiety you did not say anything but I believe Roman was referring to your derisive snort.”

“Thank you Point Dexter, although I could have said that.” Roman tacked on; “So, Peter Panic, what’s so funny?”

Virgil hunched in more on the couch, suddenly entirely too grateful for his hoodie. “Oh nothing Princey, I only thought you had better things to do than daydream uselessly about a dude you know Thomas isn’t going to talk to.” he rolled his eyes hoping to end the conversation by putting his earbuds back in.

Before he got the chance Roman dove for his earbuds and snatched them away, “Nope you don’t get to pick a fight then leave. Why do you think Thomas won’t talk to him? Is it because you won’t let him do anything fun?”

Virgil glanced at Logan, who merely raised his eyebrow, Virgil stood up and glared at Roman. “Okay Creativity, fine. I wanted to leave but whatever. One, those aren’t yours and I am sure Morality would love to know why you’re stealing and Two, I didn’t realize the only fun things were things that could hurt Thomas? Hmm? Sure, sure throw a fit because Anxiety won’t let you talk to every random stranger you trip over, but Thomas doesn’t have to risk disaster to enjoy himself.”

Roman laughed full bodied, “Real brave of you Anxiety, hiding behind Patton. Not everything is a disaster Panic at the Everywhere.”

Virgil made a grab for his headphones, already feeling the walls closing in. “Yeah Roman real smart, who said I was brave? Was it you? ‘Cause I know what I am Creativity, do you?”

Roman reeled back, “I-- I know what I am, you said it yourself, Prince Roman Creativity.”

Logan looked between the two of them, feeling like he was missing something.

Virgil struggled to hyperventilate quietly, “Hey asshole I don’t care about your identity crisis, I just want my earbuds back so you and Tall Dark And Judgmental can get back to your superiority complex.” He had begun tapping his fingers against his knee, that might have been too far. He knew Roman was insecure and unsure of himself, he also knew Logan hadn’t really done anything to him. But his panic had known that too and fight or flight didn’t usually care about feelings.

Roman sputtered a moment too long, still not returning the earbuds, so Logan cut in. “Anxiety I do not understand, why are you upset? Is this not how you and Roman usually interact?” Logan had risen to his feet along with Roman, who had finally found his voice.

“Know It All is right, why are you being more of a jerk than usual Brendon Fury?”

Virgil had begun feeling far more trapped as the conversation continued and breathing wasn’t getting any easier. He huffed, “Yeah, whatever. Is that how it is? Mr Right gets to kick me around for an ego boost but once I reply I’m the asshole? I don’t care, just give me back my stuff so I can leave.”

Roman snapped his mouth shut, then replied, “Why should I? You started it then got pissy when I proved you wrong. Thomas doesn’t get nice things because of you so why should you get nice things?”

It hit Virgil like a train, he was right. Roman hadn’t been doing anything to hurt Thomas and Virgil did get pissy for no real reason.

His panic was no longer hide-able at this realization.

Virgil’s breathing became great gasps and sharp inhales and his vision swam.

Logan figured out that Anxiety may have been feeling anxious and cornered when his breathing became audible.

He went to reach out and steady Virgil, maybe tap a rhythm on his shoulder to help control his breathing when Anxiety rocketed back, flipping backwards over the couch.

Virgil didn’t know what was happening, only that they were mad, so, so very mad at him, and that Logan was moving towards him. He reacted without thinking, flinging himself over the couch and landing with a thud against the wall.

Roman and Logan looked at each other, a silent “What the hell?” in their eyes. Roman took a step forward and looked at Virgil over the couch.

“Anxiety? Are you okay?” he asked.

Virgil whimpered and stuffed himself as far into the corner as he could at the sound of his voice.

Roman stared wide eyed before looking at Logan for guidance.

Logan gestured him back, then he crouched and crawled to where he was situated at the end of the couch and he was in line of sight of the panicking side.

Virgil had his back against the wall and his side pressed into the couch. His head was leaning against his knees and he sat in the fetal position.

Roman had moved back towards the stairs to give them plenty of space. He briefly considered getting Patton, after all he would be able to help, but decided it would be better to let Logan help instead.

Virgil had just realized how futile his effort to be a normal being was. This wasn’t the most pressing thing on his mind, he was also thinking about how much he had fucked up everyone's day.

See, he could multitask.

He eventually focused on soft counting. That didn’t normally happen when he did this, usually he just cried and choked until he passed out.

And at some point Virgil’s panic subsided enough for him to breathe and think properly, well maybe not think properly but well enough.

Unfortunately this comes with the newfound awareness that he had just freaked the fuck out in front of Logan and Roman.

“Shit,” was the first thing he said post panic. The second thing he said was an attempt at “Later,” however this was very skillfully prevented by Logan's unbearable need to be listened to.

“Anxiety? Are you okay?” Logan asked, leaning forward a little too close.

“Yup, all good, so I am going to leave.” Virgil managed before he again attempted to sink out.

“Of course not Anxiety!” Roman shouted, rushing towards the both of them. “You’ve just, I don’t know, had something very bad happen to you! We can’t leave you alone.” Roman grabbed Virgil’s arm.

Virgil yanked his arm out of his grip, wishing more than anything that he was strong enough to scare the shit out of them so he could leave. “No Creativity, fuck off.”

Roman shrank back, startled and unable to reconcile the whimpering side with the outraged one in front of him.

Logan cleared his throat, “While I wouldn’t advise touching him immediately, we can not in good conscience leave you to your mind after a panic attack Anxiety.”

“I’m not asking you to leave, I’m asking you to let me leave. Figured you’d be able to tell by my repeated attempt to leave.” Virgil was now distracted from his lingering panic by annoyance.

“Apologies if I had been unclear in my previous statement Anxiety, we do not intend to let you suffer alone after a panic attack.” Logan corrected.

Roman nodded, desperate to somehow fix what he hadn’t known needed fixing.

Virgil laughed, “Okay you don’t ‘intend’ to let me suffer?”

“Yes…?” Roman and Logan said.

Virgil laughed again, “Well, let me ask you this what have you been calling me this entire time?” He leveled them both with a glare and raised his eyebrow, which was only made slightly less imposing with him leaning against the couch.

“Well, we’ve been calling you by your name?” Roman asked, having no idea where this was going.

“No, what is the word you both have used in reference to me for as long as you can remember? This isn’t a trick question Logic, just indulge me?” Virgil voice dripped with venom.

Logan looked at Roman questioningly before replying, “I assume you aren’t referring to Roman’s constant insistence to give you nicknames, so-”

“Insults Logic, not nicknames but you are on the right track.” Virgil cut in with a falsely reassuring smile.

“I assume you mean your title Anxiety.” Logan said, a little frustrated at being interrupted.

Virgil clapped, “Good job you two, finally got there. Yes, you both have been calling me by my title ‘Anxiety’. Do you know what that means?”

Logan and Roman stayed silent, baffled.

“Wow, didn’t think I’d have to spell this out.” Virgil said in a falsely put upon voice. “It means that you don’t know my name, only my title. Which,” he breathed before continuing in a sing-song voice, “means that you don’t get to pretend that we are friends.”

Logan stared at him with wide eyes before looking down, ashamed.

Roman stood silently before replying, “But you, you didn’t ever tell anyone your name! That's not, That’s not our fault!”

Logan finally found his voice and went to respond before Virgil once again cut him off with a cruel smile. “Oh Princey, poor thing is it not your fault? I mean you know Logic and Morality so well, why wouldn’t we all know each other’s name?” Virgil stuffed his hands in his pocket, hiding his shaking fingers. “Tell me Creativity, Logic, why don’t you know my name?”

The creative trait stared at Anxiety, not entirely sure what he was supposed to say and not entirely sure how they got here.

Logan once again went to answer, but Virgil had other plans in mind. “No I want both of you Light Sides to tell me exactly why I wouldn’t tell you my name if my life depended on it.”

Logan flinched and remained silent.

Roman opened his mouth and hesitated, then said “I.. I don’t know why.”

Virgil sneered and gestured at Logan, “Your turn genius, tell pretty boy here why no one knows my name.”

The logical side quietly stated, “We don’t know Anxiety by anything other than his title because we have not treated him with enough kindness that he would be inclined to trust us.”

Once again Virgil clapped in a bitter caricature of praise, “Got it in one Logic. So tell me Creativity, why do either of you have the right to care about me now that you’ve seen something that makes you feel guilty?”

No one replied and Virgil huffed before grabbing his earbuds from where Roman had dropped them.

“C’ya at the next crisis.” and Virgil left with a salute.

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #thomas sanders virgil #thomas sanders roman #thomas sanders logan #fanfiction #reblog #sorry for this #angsty ending

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booklover223 · 4 years ago

Text

CAFFEINE

Pairing/s: Pre-romantic/Romantic Intrulogical, background romantic Prinxiety, background pre-romantic Moceit (just mentions though)

Word Count: 5,166

Warning/s: misunderstandings, some cussing. (Let me know if you want me to edit this I’ve never written for tumblr before!) kinda ooc! Remus but he’s emotional and it’s mostly a Logan centric fic.

A/N: So this is the first time I’m posting on tumblr, if you want to read it on AO3 here is the link ——> https://archiveofourown.org/works/26729227 but be warned! The story is formatted for a computer moreso than a phone so there are very long paragraphs I’m sorry!! I’m fixing the formatting for the post though (ITS SUPER LONG IM SORRY 🥺🥺🥺👉🏼👈🏼) this is a songfic btw! Song is called Caffeine by Fly By Midnight and I love it it reminded me of intrulogical immediately for some reason and I was forced to write this basically.

Logan was at his desk, laptop open but he wasn’t focused on it. He had come to a startling and scary realization the day before when he had been sitting in the kitchen watching as Roman and Remus bickered over ideas for Thomas to use. He had watched as Remus poured unholy amounts of what looked like raspberry flavored syrup (at least he thinks it was syrup it had the consistency of syrup and the color of raspberries..) onto his bacon and eggs. He had happened to glance over at Remus and Remus had looked at him, smiled a quick flash before pulling him into the debate of ideas. When he had finished Remus’s smile was blinding and he had felt something stir in his chest.

He had ignored it at the time but later that night it had happened again, again caused by Remus. His heart fluttered when Remus smiled at him a quick bright thing like the flash of a camera before turning back to whomever he was talking to. He quickly excused himself and all but ran to his room. Logan prided himself on not having feelings, at least that’s what he told everyone else. Logan did have feelings, he just didn’t like them. But he had never had these feelings before. He had felt them of course, whenever Thomas had a crush or was in a relationship so he knew what they were but he personally had never had them before. Before Janus and Remus were accepted he hadn’t thought that he ever would have these feelings. Virgil and Roman had gotten together fairly quickly and Patton was more of a brother to him, and he had never seen him in a romantic sense. He just thought he didn’t have enough emotion to have romantic feelings, but what he felt just now had ruined all of that and now he had a problem.

Logan didn’t want romantic feelings. Hell, he didn’t want feelings at all, and he tried his best to repress them. But these unwanted things that affected Logan more than he liked to admit were persistent. He didn’t know how to deal with them. He thought back, trying to pinpoint the exact moment these feelings started and could only think of the amount of time hes been spending with the embodiment of intrusive thoughts. He had never had a problem with Remus, and sometimes sought him out for conversations, but once he was accepted he had started talking to him more, spending more and more time with him and his feelings had apparently grown from there. Maybe if he didn’t spend as much time with Remus as he did the feelings would go away? It was a stretch but it was all he could think of. So with a plan in mind he shut down his computer and went to bed.

Off in the imagination, Remus smiled to himself as he created stars and galaxies. He knew he had a crush on the resident nerd and he was really hoping that Logan liked him back, but he would wait for now and just enjoy his company as friends. He had always liked the nerd, when he had been a “Dark” side Logan was the only “Light” side who had tolerated him. Roman had come around, wanting to mend their broken bond but even he could get fed up with Remus’s constant chatter and rapid thought process. Logan never did, he always kept pace with Remus, always had. And he never shied away when topics took a darker turn. He rolled with the waves and explained, expanded upon, or dismembered the thoughts Remus couldn’t control and couldn’t filter and was never disgusted by them.

He listened to Remus in a way none of the others ever had. Even Janus had to stop him sometimes, the thoughts Remus spewed disturbing the deceitful side. But now that he was accepted, he had been spending more and more time with Logan and he was loving every minute of it! He pulled him into debates or just talked to him for hours and never got bored listening to him ramble about whatever was on his mind. He was cute the way he lit up whenever Remus asked him to explain or elaborate on whatever topic he was talking about. Remus flung the last of the stars into the sky and sunk into his room ready for a good rest. He had a million things he wanted to ask Logan about space, one of his special interests he found out last week and he also wanted to show him what he made tonight. Sleep took him quickly, a smile on his face.

The next morning Remus eagerly waited for Logan to come to breakfast, he wanted to show him a new recipe he had found and wanted to get Logan’s input on the best way to get Thomathy to make it for the Halloween party he was planning. But as the hour dragged by and Logan still hadn’t come down for breakfast, which was weird and slightly alarming as he almost never changed his schedule, Remus got worried. He decided to check on Logan and see if he was sick or something and quickly made his way upstairs to Logan’s room. He knocked on the door, if a bit too fast and waited as patiently as he could until he heard Logan call a quiet “Come in.”

He swung the door open, unintentionally slamming it against the wall and cringing slightly before bounding into the room. He looked around, he had been in Logan’s room before, he had been in everyone’s room before when he wasn’t accepted. He was always trying to spook everyone and catch them off guard, but Logan usually ignored him. With his acceptance his intrusive thoughts had calmed some, and he wasn’t as well, intrusive, as he used to be. He was still loud, he was still as hyperactive as ever and he still lacked a filter most days. But he was getting better, and he was trying to be better for Thomas. He stood in the middle of Logan’s room, closing the door with a snap of his fingers as he watched his crush type away on his laptop. He frowned when Logan didn’t turn to greet him but he shrugged and walked over to the Logical side’s desk.

“Watcha workin’ on Logie Bear?” He asked leaning over Logan and plopping his head onto his shoulder. He felt Logan freeze up, though he didn’t stop typing, which was weird. He hadn’t done that since they were teens, so he immediately pulled his head away and took a step back. Maybe he’s just stressed? He waiting as he watched Logan turn around and fix his glasses, a tick he had noticed he did whenever he was thinking. “Hello Remus.” He said it with none of the warmth that Remus had become accustomed to in the recent months and he was taken aback by it, but before he could even begin processing that he was interrupted.

“To answer your question, I am working on fixing Thomas’s schedule for next week. Since yourself and Roman have been pulling him into the Imagination more often he has been neglecting his real-world duties like laundry, washing the dishes, and a multitude of other things. Hopefully, you can convince Roman to keep a clear schedule next week. I am asking you to as well, though I know it will be hard “When Creativity strikes” as the saying goes but please try and withhold in for at least this next week. I have the weekend open for him if you and your brother do have any urges.” Remus stood there, his mouth slightly agape as Logan finally looked him in the eyes.

Remus blinked a few times before nodding voice subdued as he responded “Sure Lo, I’ll- I’ll try. And I’ll tell Roman too give him a heads up!” He smiled though it felt forced and quickly left the room. When Logan had looked at him, it was as if they hadn’t been spending these last few months together, He was closed up again, the strict no-nonsense mask he wore around everyone but him was... back up. What had happened?

Remus felt a tightness in his chest, but he took a few deep breaths and decided that Logan was just having a bad day. He and Roman have been hogging a majority of Thomas’s time this past week. Because they were allowed to work together again, they had been on fire giving Thomas amazing ideas and flying through the imagination fighting Gloria (the Dragonwitch) and her hordes of armies and other adventures. He shrugged off his bad thoughts and quickly went to find RoRo to tell him about Logan’s plan for the next week.

Logan sighed as Remus left the room. He rubbed his eyes and slumped in his seat as he tried to ignore the warmth of where Remus’s head had laid on his shoulder.

How had he not noticed that he liked Remus in a romantic way? How had he let himself get so comfortable that he had let his feelings creep in and take hold of his heart? He sighed and turned back to his desk glancing at the picture he had there. It was about a week after Janus and Remus had been accepted that Thomas insisted they took this photo, all of the sides plus Thomas in the middle. Virgil was sitting on Roman’s lap; Patton was leaning into two pairs of Janus’s arms and Remus had his arm thrown around Logan’s shoulders head thrown back as the others looked at him with varying degrees of disgust and embarrassment. Logan chuckled as he remembered the filthy joke Remus had told to get that reaction, and then he sighed as his eyes lingered on Remus’s form. He felt the ghost warmth of that arm thrown over his shoulder and squeezed his eyes shut.

This was for the best. He was Logic, he didn’t have feelings, or at least he shouldn’t. And besides even if he admitted to liking him, Remus would never reciprocate his feelings. So he rubbed his eyes, fixed his tied and went back to work. He had noticed that Remus had seemed off this morning, but he brushed it off and tried to focus on his work.

It had been three weeks, and everyone knew something was up with Logan and Remus. Logan had been acting a little too normal almost cold in his dealings with the others and Remus had been holed up in his room most of the time, and when he wasn’t in his room he kept to the imagination and only talked to Roman. Every time he was within viewing distance of Logan, he shot him wounded looks before leaving the room. The four sides decided to get to the bottom of this and set a meeting time aside for later that night after subtly observing the other two.

After dinner that night Janus, Patton, Roman, and Virgil met up in Janus’s room to discuss their observations of the day. Roman sighed before starting. “Remus has been acting odd these last few weeks as everyone knows. I tried to talk to him about why he seemed so down but all he did was yell ‘Fuck off bro’ before hitting me over the head with his morning star and running off into the woods.” He rubbed his head, presumably where Remus had hit him but there was no longer any wounds or lesions on his head that showed the damage. Virgil pulled him into a sideways hug and kissed his cheek. Janus glanced at Patton. Patton sighed and started fiddling with his hoodie sleeves.

“Logan looked was pretty out of it. He had about 10 empty coffee cups on his desk and he was all disheveled and when I asked how he was doing he said ‘fine.’ But I don’t think he's doing fine guys.” He said as he looked around the room. Janus nodded as Patton’s gaze landed on him. “I heard his lie about being fine, but I couldn’t pinpoint why exactly he wasn’t fine.” Virgil sighed as he leaned into Roman’s side. “I could feel both Logan and Remus’s anxiety spike when you asked them but it was more of a general anxiety nothing I could pinpoint.” They all looked at each other helplessly until Roman stood up. “I’m going to see my brother and figure this out I don’t care if I have to tie him to a chair!” He stormed off before the others could even think to stop him and they all hoped he could get through to Remus.

Remus was laying sprawled out like a starfish on his bed, humming a song he had heard as Thomas was scrolling through Instagram. His intrusive thoughts had been getting bad again without Logan there to counteract and break them down for him and he was starting to lose his head again. He could feel himself losing his already loose grip on reality every day that passed and he didn’t want anybody to think he was going back to how he was before he was accepted so he tried to stay in his room as much as possible and smash out the intrusive thoughts he had in the Imagination whenever he could. His head was swirling right now as Roman had interrupted him before he had a chance to create and then promptly destroy the thoughts so he was now laying in his room everything smashed to bits and chest hurting as he thought of why Logan would’ve cut him off. He was trying to be good!

He was trying his damn hardest but Logan had been helping him so much so the sudden cut had him dizzy for more than one reason. The only thing he could think that happened was that Logan had found out about his crush and decided to stop interacting with him. The painful thought as well as the others clouding his mind brought him to tears and he didn’t even notice Roman barge into the room until he was being hugged by him. He let himself cry as he was pulled into a warm embrace and his thoughts finally started to calm down. “Oh Rem, tell me what’s wrong?” He heard his brother whisper and he struggled his way through stuttering sobs as he told Roman that he had had a crush on Logan and he must have found out about it because Logan had started pushing him away three weeks ago and his thoughts were getting worse without him because his logic dismantled them and and-

Remus was cut off as Roman squeezed him again and told him he would handle it. Remus nodded and laid back down on his bed as his room playing the damn song he had stuck in his head and only making him cry harder.

“Vacant head in this empty bed yeah I think I’m losing it, I’m pretty sure I’m losing it. It’s messed up nice that you’re my vice and I keep on using it, it’s probably why I’m losing it. Thinking in circles when we’re not together and fighting it won’t make it better…”

Remus cried into his pillow as the song continued and eventually played on a loop, and Roman got ready for a fight.

Roman barged into Logan’s room slamming the door open and sword pointed at the Logical side who was more than shocked to say the least. Not that he showed it. “Roman, what can I help you with?” he asked as he turned to face the creative side. He had been holed up in his room for the better part of the last three weeks only going out for necessity but those time he had seen Remus had his heart racing with unwanted and useless feelings. “Remus is distraught and is declining in health mentally because of whatever you did Microsoft Turd, so I suggest you apologize and at least have the courtesy to keep a professional relationship with him!” He said vehemently and Logan was, well more than confused. “Roman, please elaborate I have no idea what you are talking about and I haven’t even seen Remus for more than a few seconds these past few weeks so I couldn’t have done anything to him.”

Roman paused and seemed to think about something before abruptly sheathing his sword and pulling Patton into the room. Logan looked on as Roman whispered something into Patton’s ear, who then looked over at Logan for a brief second eyes wide before he closed them and seemed to concentrate. His eyes flew open and he nodded to roman who sighed and rubbed his face roughly. “Thank you Padre, I’ll handle it from here.” Was all Logan heard before he was once again alone with the Creative side. Roman took a deep breath before looking at Logan, disheveled and downright messy, eyes bloodshot and hair a mess. He walked closer to Logan who warily accepted this quiet scrutiny. “You’re in love with Remus.”

It was a statement not a question, but Logan tried to deny it anyway. “While I love Remus in a platonic sense, I am not in fact in love with him as you say. I cannot fall in love, I am Logic.” The words burned his throat as he stared down Roman who plopped onto his bed similarly to the way Remus used to do. “Specs, if you forgot, which I am sure you did with the amount of caffeine running through your body at the moment, I am not just creativity. I could sense something was off between you and Rem, but I couldn’t place it until I asked Patton a question. A simple question. Do you know what that question is?”

Roman studied Logan as he thought through what he could have possibly asked Patton, nothing he could think of and yet he had started to panic slightly. He shook his head and looked to Roman who sighed. “You really are out of it aren’t you Lo? I asked Patton if he could sense love coming from you, and when he confirmed that he could it clicked. You’re in love with Remus. You have romantic feelings for him.” Logan stared at Roman with panic in his eyes. He was found out. “Please do not tell Remus.” He finally whispered hands running through his already messy hair. He couldn’t look Roman in the eyes.

“Logan look at me please.” He heard a soft voice request and he looked up at Roman who had moved closer. He put a hand on Logan’s shoulder and squeezed it slightly. “Why are you trying to deny your feelings? Just because you’re logic doesn’t mean you cant have feelings or fall in love with anyone. You aren’t just Logic, you’re also Logan. The nerd who geeks out over space and loves crofters and so many other things. You can have these feelings.”

Logan was trying his best not to tear up but there were unshed tears in his eyes as he listened to what Roman was saying. “But how can I be logic if I have feelings? Feelings are illogical and messy and- and-“ Roman squeezed his shoulder again and Logan looked up into his eyes. “Feelings are a part of being Human teach. You may embody logic, but you are a part of a human and that means that you also can have these feelings. If you didn’t have these feelings that would make you a robot and you are not a robot, no matter how hard you try to be one.”

Logan closed his eyes fighting the tears that wanted to escape. “Even if I do have feelings for Remus, he doesn’t return them. How am I supposed to face him?” he asked, his voice cracking. Roman sighed. “Logan, I know for a fact that Remus likes you back. I didn’t need Patton to tell me, he told me himself. It’s why I came here in the first place. I was gonna fight you for hurting my brother but by the way you looked I had a feeling you were hurting as much as he was. You need to go talk to him Lo. He’s been doing so good with you but when you cut him off everything started spiraling for him. He thinks you hate him for having feelings for you.”

Logan looked at Roman in disbelief, that couldn’t be right but then, thinking back on the few seconds he had seen Remus these past weeks he had seemed to be sad. Oh no. “I messed up didn’t I?” Roman chuckled and stepped away from his friend, “You should go talk to him Lo. I think it’ll work out in the end.” Logan nodded and wiped the tears from his eyes before straightening his tie. “Thank you Roman.” He said before sinking out. Roman chuckled and left the room to go tell the others that everything was gonna be fine.

Logan rose outside of Remus’s door, about to knock when he heard crying. He quickly sunk into the Creative side’s room only to be met by a song being played loudly, permeating the room and intruding his thoughts.

“Bloodshot eyes, no I can’t focus since I let you in. Ever since I let you in. Every high, like a crashing ocean its been sinking in, ever since I let you in” The lyrics pulled at a chord in his chest as he listened to more of the words. “Thinking in circles when we’re not together, If I let you go I’ll be better. I don’t know what I’m chasing, I’m smoking, I’m pacing hours go by like forever, now I’m like-“ He walked further into the room looking for Remus and finally spotted him on top of a broken bed face in the blankets and shoulders shaking. The song continued. “I want you, it’s way too late, I’m restless, I’m wide awake. Every time I lay down I can’t sleep, you’re keeping me up like caffeine.”

Logan walked closer to Remus and gently touched his shoulder. Remus startled and sat up makeup smudged and eyes red and puffy as he looked into Logan’s eyes. “Remus, please stop the music. We need to talk.” Remus scrunched up his face but the music only got louder. “Ah,” Logan muttered before waving his hand and stopping the music. “I’m sorry the song was s-stuck in my head and I c-couldn’t get it out a-and the harder I tried the louder it got.” He said, stuttering through hiccups his voice raw. Logan tentatively sat down next to Remus on the bed and watched as Remus scoot over but didn’t look at him.

“Anyways, what did you need Logie Bear?” he asked trying to sound like his normal self but Logan could hear the pain under his weak façade. Logan reached out for Remus’s hand, slow enough that he could pull away if he wanted to, Logan was happy he didn’t. “I wanted to apologize for how I’ve been acting these past few weeks. I… well I had come to some startling conclusions and decided to try and ignore them but all I did was end up hurting the both of us.” Remus finally looked towards Logan and the hope and pain in his eyes made Logan ache he hadn’t meant to cause Remus any pain, hadn’t known he had the power to but this look flayed him and he knew that he had.

He took a deep breath before continuing. “I had come to the conclusion that I had romantic feelings toward you, but in my hasty decision that I shouldn’t have these feelings I hadn’t taken into consideration the thought that you might feel them as well. I was trying to avoid you so I could stop my feelings from growing, not because I knew you had feelings I did not reciprocate. And I am so sorry for hurting you Remus.”

Remus had fresh tears streaming down his face and he launched himself at Logan. “I thought all those thoughts were about how you couldn’t like me not that you thought you couldn’t like anyone in general!” he exclaimed as he hung onto Logan’s neck head pressed into his neck. Logan was confused for a moment before he remembered that Remus embodied intrusive thoughts as well as creativity. He knew everyone’s intrusive thoughts and fears, and he was able to take them away from the others so the thoughts didn’t affect them, but that meant he was stuck with them looping in his mind until either Logan helped him dismantle them or he killed them enough times. Glancing around the room he realized he hadn’t been able to kill the thoughts yet.

Logan hugged Remus a little tighter rubbing soothing circles on his back as he let Remus cry, whispering soothing words into his ear. Eventually Remus calmed down and sat back to look at Logan. He sniffed before asking, “So, you have feelings for me Lolo?” He smiled a watery smile but the question was genuine. “Yes.” Logan replied nodding his head in affirmation. Remus squealed and did a whole body wiggle “I like you too Logan.” He said excitement growing with every word. They would have to talk more but both were exhausted so Logan took Remus’s hand and brought him to his room, changing their clothes with a snap and ushered Remus into bed with him. Remus sighed contently as he cuddled with the logical side. “Thank you.” He whispered and Logan smiled and pulled Remus closer.

“You have nothing to be thankful for Remus. Thank you, for putting up with me being irrational.” Remus chuckled softly and tilted his head far enough back to softly kiss Logan’s chin. “Not very logical of you Lo,” he giggled quietly and Logan couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped him as well. “No, it wasn’t. Now sleep cephy, we can talk more in the morning.” He felt Remus freeze for a second before he wiggled happily “I like that name, Cephy. It fits.” Remus manifested his tentacles and took off Logan’s glasses placing them on the bedside table and turning off the lamp before retracting them. Logan was shocked, but exhaustion was taking over. “Remind me to ask you about those when we wake up.” He whispered and felt a nod as he drifted off.

Six months later

Logan sat at his desk his laptop open in front of him, but he was just staring at its black screen. He was tired but he had to finish this schedule for Thomas or else he wouldn’t be prepared for the next week of editing and filming. Logan rubbed his bloodshot eyes glasses discarded on the desktop next to the sleeping computer. He startled when he felt arms hug him from behind before he remembered that Remus was in his room with him. “Come to bed Lolo you can do this in the morning.” He whispered, the start of a whine in his voice. Logan leaned his head against Remus’s arm for a few moments before sitting up and sighing.

“Remus, I can’t I have to finish this tonight or else Thomas is going to be set back for days when he needs to be editing and re-filming. I’ll come to bed as soon as I am finished, I promise.” He looked to his boyfriend who had sat on the edge of the bed waiting for whatever it was Logan was going to say, He ran his fingers through his hair and nodded flopping backwards like a starfish. Logan looked at him for a few seconds, a small smile on his face before he yawned. He needed coffee. He stood up and after giving Remus’s leg a squeeze he left his room and went downstairs.

Dating Remus was like nothing he had ever imagined, and yet it was everything he wanted, He smiled again as he thought of his boyfriend. He was a handful sometimes, but he loved him with everything he was. Sometimes, before he and Remus got together he had felt like he was in a vast ocean, untouchable and unfeeling but then he let Remus into his life and suddenly he felt as though he had surfaced the ocean, gasping for breath he hadn’t known he needed. He hadn’t always liked the feeling.

When he had first realized he had feelings for the Duke he had thrown himself into his work ignoring his feelings and avoiding the attractive creative side which was hard considering he had finally been accepted and now resided alongside the rest of them the “dark commons” merged with the light and now they lived with nice shades of grey instead of blinding white or encompassing black. He spent way too long and many, many caffeine fueled nights working on anything and everything that had crossed his desk. But no matter what he did or didn’t do he couldn’t get Remus out of his head. Thoughts circled back to their scant interactions and his heart rate increased every time he seen the creative side but he refused to act on his feelings. He was Logic and logic didn’t have things like feelings (except when he did).

It all came to a head when Roman had barged into his room one day demanding he apologize for whatever he had done to his brother. Logan hadn’t realized that Remus had returned his hidden feelings, or that it was affecting his creativity as well as Thomas. It had taken a while for Roman to convince Logan that Remus cared about him too, Logan had been repressing his feelings for a while not to mention his feelings for Remus, but eventually he was able to confront Remus and admit his feelings. He had never been so scared or so happy than the day they got together. He walked into his room, mug of coffee held tightly and glanced lovingly at his boyfriend. He looked at the time 3:35, before looking back at the bed.

Remus looked so prone and exposed when he slept. He sighed and set his coffee onto the desk next to his laptop before shutting it down. He snapped his fingers and was in his pajamas which consisted of a worn Nasa shirt and some dark grey sweats. He took off his glasses and lay next to Remus who immediately turned around and snugged up to him, head under his chin and hands gripping his shirt. He chuckled softly. “You win my little octopus. I hope you’re happy.” Remus sighed into his chest and smiled before leaning up to kiss Logan's chin. “I am.” He responded softly snuggling closer. Logan kissed the top of his head and squeezed Remus. “I’m glad I let you in.” he whispered softly as he finally drifted off to sleep.

#sanders sides #my work #my writing #allie writes #song fic #intrulogical #sanders sides fanfic #romantic prinxiety #moceit #ts remus sanders #ts remus #ts logan sanders #ts logan #ts fanfic

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